[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now it's a stat that gets thrown around. And we're like, can you believe it? I didn't hear about it. Like, there's just, how are you figuring that out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I mean, do you think every stat, I think stats are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this is what they're doing, man. Yea, I mean, you can't, like, this is what's pulling the country apart, is stats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stats are pulling the country apart. Cause they are just saying whatever they want. It's scientists just making stuff up cause no one says it. And then, then people that do stats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You bought me that for, uh, yeaah. Oh wow, how much was it? One billion dollars? Uh, everybody's just making stuff up, dude. That's what's happening. Where it's, there's no, there's, I mean, how do you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean, how do you have the nerve? The nerve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To walk out and go, I made a, there's a Christmas card in this room. Oh yea, where is it? I bet you can't find it. Why? The room's empty. To hide it? Yea, the room's empty. Now it's right in front of your face. I put it on your nose already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's one on my nose right now. He goes, you remember when I touched your nose when you walked in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, I don't know. We're never going to know. You're just spearing them around, dude. He goes, now they're everywhere. Do you feel something in your eye? Yeah. That's 10,000 Christmas cards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. It doesn't matter. Yeah, I did. Ask me. I did it. Ask me. Did it, did it make a song? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we did. Uh, one does Star Wars. We do the Star Wars theme is a Christmas thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, obviously no, you can't hear it. I mean, yeah. What colors do you think? They're red. Red on the outside. Was it scented? Uh, yeah. Yeah, we did a little scented, uh, strawberry and poinsettia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An actual real live poinsettia. But you can eat it, you wouldn't get sick. But it's a real live poinsettias inside the card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, just so they see something. Right. And then they open it and I'll usually give them like a- Oh, you mail it? Yeah, I mail it, I mail an April Fool's Day card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To throw them off, and they're like, it's April Fool's Day, I would like a Christmas card, and I go, we'll look down. And they look down and they go, yea, see ya. Easter bunny with the middle finger up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I go, the Christmas card's right on the Easter bunny. It's so small you can't see it. No one can see it. There's 10,000 of them over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gave you 10,000 of them and you go, you know, I'm a scientist, right? And then they go, yeah, yeah. And he goes, yeah. And then they go, all right. All right, man. I appreciate it. You know, and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just go, that's the smallest carl in the world. I mean, that's dude, the audacity, the audacity to just do that as a, why is that guy not, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wanna go, wow, so no one can see with their eye. So how do you see these? They would put a microscope on it. Yeah. So why don't you just make it normal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause otherwise, it doesn't matter, right? You know what I mean? Like, and he's like, I know, but it's, it's fun to be like, well, there's one that you can't see. And they go, I know, but then how do we know it's real? Why put a microscope on it? Again, here's where we're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of just being like, you know, I invented one that's made of air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there you go. You know how hard it was to take that pic? What a waste of resources.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guy, yea, probably got a scholarship, wasted scholarship. UK scientist, creates world's smallest Christmas card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, thanks. Yeah, no, it's cool, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. No, I appreciate it dude. Thanks for, yeah, that's good. How are we on smallpox? And he goes, I don't, I mean, I just, I'm still doing that stuff, but I thought I'd make this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we're just asking for the guy. You know what? I did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What can we see it? Mine's so small, a microscope won't pick it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All you need is a guy that has a science degree to go, yeah, it's so small, no one can, a microscope can't even pick it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would take a picture of it if it was gigantic like the other ones were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But mine's so small that you can't even get a picture of it. Oh, you got a picture of theirs? Their giant cards that they made? It's bigger than Adam. Yeah. Oh, what's that over there? Is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Billy's car, they invented this loser. Mine's, mine's out there. They're everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get there man. Not with your attitude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Pluto doesn't know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. Pluto's always the one that's the funnest to, I joke about Pluto, but there it's back a planet now, right? Or they, it always goes back and forth. I can't keep up. Which is the joke, which is my point of science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that we're just, you know, it's all just kind of make believe. It's going to be whatever you want. If a guy's charismatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to hire a scientist that's just really charming. And I think he could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Convince the world of anything. Anything. Anything. Yeah. And you're like, can we see your work? We don't even understand the work. But he's like, can we see how'd you get to this? And he's like, I don't know. No one, no one cares.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you, well, how did you figure that out? He's like, you know, figured it out. Got to, you know, he just has a bunch of scratch marks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know Air Buds, the movie? But it was in the Christmas Buds one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I couldn't believe they got that song. That's what was so crazy is they go, are you serious? She asked to be put in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's funny. Yeah. Just imagine that guy comes over. What were you selling me? Kwanzaa? My neighbor is the one that made it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it. If it is, that makes so great. Best of us for the rest of us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] H&H bagel. Yeah, yeah. Strikes an H&H bagel. Puts his jacket in where they sell the bagels. Which is one of my favorite, kind of like something no one notices, but when he goes to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that he's been out of work, he's like, I don't know you're out of work. He's like, it's embarrassing. And he goes, the minimum wage is $15. Well, you know who to thank for that. And then he takes his jacket off and he goes in the store and in the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, you don't put your jacket, like there's counters, there's a hook, there's a million things. And he's like, ah, let's get to work. The last place to put the jacket is the window to split.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh, that's fun. Yeah. It's a little much. Yeah. Well, one of them's a live bird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of them are birds. Oh, I mean, most of them. Dude, then how many birds is that gonna, so. The mass majority are birds. So like you have 200 birds in the house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you did what the 12 days of Christmas did, you would be arrested. And I mean, they talk about you on 60 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what we're getting there. Twelve days of Christmas this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. That's crazy. Uh, so we did get y'all a little Christmas present. Uh, the listeners of the folks at Nate Land, you've been asking for it, you've been wanting it. We finally did the Krispy Kreme donut challenge. It is done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little video of it. We did it. We're going to make it. Uh, it's going to be posted with this so you can see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's a thank you for you guys. I know we, we kind of jumped out the gate talking about it. Never thought it'd ever matter and catch on. Apparently it did catch on. I think we're going to lose a lot of people. Right. Because people are only here for, they're just waiting for that. They were just waiting for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we finally did it. We hope we keep you after that. Uh, maybe that's what Drew Turler to finally, that's what he came for. And he's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so we did it, uh, me, Aaron, breakfast, Laura, all did it. Uh, I don't, I don't know what to think. I don't ever know what I want you to, what's the proper way to, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you go into, uh, yeaah, well don't point at him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And let the people guess who the results would be surprising to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think the results will surprise people and we'll read them out for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll be shocked that we're going to edit that out. Some of us know ourselves better. Some of us, some of us, I think some were let down and some of them was surprising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, yeah, so that's the thing, but it's definitely, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 36 donuts is not in the picture, so don't worry about that. Don't expect 36. It's, they're sweet. It's a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very rich, very rich, very rich. And, uh, I tried to do just chocolate donuts and that was a mistake. That was a mistake. Yeah. It was a tactical error from out the gate. So maybe I need to try it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five bears once with my fist and someone's like, he wrestled his uncle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then walks behind him and just says, you know, that corrects and goes, he didn't do any of that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, I could swim underwater for six minutes. He's like, he barely, he dumped in, went under, came up, freaked out. Uh, it was 60 seconds at most because he forgot which way was up or down. Wow. Wow. No one that's surprising. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the secret genius is some other secrets. So they, yes, but then we, we did the video, we did it for you and now we talked about it forever. We wanted to give it to you guys. Uh, we can't really give you a gift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so that is our gift that we, uh, did that we were all in pain. Uh, so, and then yeah, me and you did a show that night for, uh, feeding the homeless. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, so check it out. And, uh, again, uh, hope you guys have an awesome, awesome Christmas. We do. We love every one of you and we can't thank you enough for listening and, uh, we'll see you right back, uh, after Christmas. So, alright, Merry Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember going with you guys to a New Year's Eve party when Harper was two and she stayed up to past midnight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she, I corresponded with her. She said she wanted to really thank you for doing shows for the troops. It meant a lot to her family. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what you said? Yea, when you were talking about you didn't know what an adverb was. I said, hey, thanks for pronouns, and now it gets paid to be in a sentence. Oh wow, that is, I don't think I caught it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, if I call myself my real name, they're going to get it. They'll get it. Let me call myself bracelet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, uhm, a lot of people commented on the downtown, like, how did you guys miss the Seinfeld reference? You did say it. You said it really fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you said Seinfeld reference, but we'd already talked about it before the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, a few people did that math for us. Yeah. And, uh, you know, I asked my buddy Ben Hall, who listens to podcasts about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the one that lost out that night. And I was like, what were you thinking? He said, I took a date. That's how confident I was that I'm going to win something. And then when they announced we've got a tie, he's like, I've won twice. He thought he was going to win twice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This person's making the point that that's when lifespan started increasing greatly. We showed that graph last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just two. I could just never remember if I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One's for uh, acid reflux. One's just a daily...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet doctors get frustrated now with all the self-diagnosis from the internet. Cause whenever I go in, I always tell the doc what I think it is and he always just stares at me, lets me finish and then he tells me what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I always look it up, you know, I feel like I feel like I need to tell him what I think it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a lot here folks. Uh, do you know how we come up with the year, 365 days, like that length of time? No, of course not. I've never


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so for a day, that's the earth spinning on its axis. One time around, the earth spins at a thousand miles per hour. Right now we're traveling a thousand miles an hour. Feels like it. Feels like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll double down one more. You know how we come up with months. This is the toughest one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Yep. One cycle of the moon's 29 and a half days. The word month came from the word moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So ancient calendars used to be lunar calendars. They go off the moon and, uh, so the moon goes through a full cycle about every 29 and a half days. Uhm, but it would start to mess things up because the sun and the moon don't cooperate with each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the Romans had the first calendar kind of like ours, but theirs was only 10 months long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't have January, February. New Year started March 1st.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The word octo is eight, like octopus has eight legs, but the October is the 10th month. The reason is before this, it used to be the eighth month because there was no January or February.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it wasn't working for a lot of reasons we just named. So in 45 BC, Julius Caesar said, we got to do a better calendar, guys. Come on. So that's like if a president ran.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Julius Caesar's astronomer. This is amazing they could figure this out that far back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the earth goes around the sun 365 days, so they made a 365 day calendar just like we have, starts January 1st, has a leap year every four years. Do you guys know how we come up with leap year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said a day was 365 days and 6 hours, but a day is actually 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes and 46 seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they are a problem. In this case it was the guys Julius Caesar hired to do it. So it was off a little bit. How do you hire calendar people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he was slightly off by 12 minutes, which over time started causing a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he put in a leap year every four years. I learned this. A leap year is not actually every four years. Occasionally, we have to skip it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, there's a, there's actually a mathematic equation to determine what a leap year is. You, uh, leap years fall, they gotta be divisible by 4, unless the year is also divisible by 100, and if the year is divisible by 400, you keep it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so over, over time it became a problem. So by the year 1582,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When Pope Gregory was running the Catholic Church, we were off by 10 days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By 1582, Easter wasn't even following when it's supposed to, so Pope Gregory's like, we gotta fix this. So his, his guy figured out this new equation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well anyway, Pope Gregory's got figured out we don't need a leap year every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So last time it was skipped was the year 1900, the next time it's gonna be skipped is the year 2100. And that keeps us...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back on pattern so we don't get ahead of ourselves. But we're still off by 26 seconds. Even now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we're losing time here. By the year 4909, Gregorian calendar will be a full day ahead than it's supposed to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But some Protestants view the Gregorian calendar as a Catholic plot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So countries that weren't Catholic were like, we're not doing this. We're not going to fall for this Catholic nonsense. So countries held out. England held out until 1752.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when they finally changed over, the citizens got mad because the counter went from September 2nd to September 14th. And rioters said, give us back our 11 days. They just took 11 days from them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It took some countries so long to switch over that in 1908 the Russians missed the first 12 days of the Olympics because they were still using the old calendar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But can you imagine trading for four years and you show up and they're like, it was last Tuesday. Why? What happened? Uh, wrong calendar. I mean, that's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, some churches, Orthodox churches, still don't use today's calendar. Orthodox churches, like, uhm, if you're Latvian Orthodox, if you convert, Nate, you're Latvian Orthodox. Yeah, I will. Your Christmas, that's a George Costanza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really George? Converts? Oh yeaah. Christmas Day is January 7th, so Orthodox churches are celebrating Christmas this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good question. I don't know. Maybe they take their kids out of school. They might not believe in school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, there's a lot of different types of Orthodox. Greek Orthodox, things like that. But they celebrate some of the holidays different. Uh, China has their own calendar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] China calendar. They go by animals. So they don't go by years. So this is the year of the ox. Oh, it's a fun year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go by our counter, the Gregorian counter. Do they write ox on their check?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rat. The year of the rat. Uh, that says 2010, right? Oh, that is 2020. You're right. You're right. The year of the rat. So they're still putting rat on all their checks right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, yea, their new year is February 12th, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll be a metal rat year. Oh okay, a year of the ox will follow. Oh yeaah, 2021, a year of the ox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's more ceremonial than everyday use. They don't write that on their chat. It's very funny to think about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so our calendar started, uh, current one started when, with the birth of Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there started with Prophet Muhammad made his journey from Mecca to Medina in year 622.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting. I think they really go by it. I don't know how many legal documents they have, but in Ethiopia...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she knows some stuff. In Ethiopia right now, it's the year 2013.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they calculated their calendar differently when Christ was born. They have him being born in the year 7 BC by our calendar center. So they're eight years behind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was. So that came from a, uh, a monk. Sixth century monk said, Hey, we should start the calendar on when Jesus was born. And he did some- One guy said that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What he said was with your one ad probably crosses born.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 6 to 4 BC. So he was a little off. And they left out zero. There is no zero. It goes from 1 BC to 1 AD. So that's why Newman's Newmanian party was off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to figure out what they were calling the years before this monk came up with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That makes sense. Mayans, the Mayans had a calendar that went from the year 31-14 BC


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To December 21st, 2012. And that's as far as it went. So many people thought the world was going to end. I shouldn't say many. Some people thought the world was going to end in 2012.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. So uhm, now people are trying to change BC and AD. Uhm, you guys know BC and AD, but people don't like it because it's based on Jesus' life, so they're trying to change it now. They want to call BC BCE before Common Era, and AD change it to CE Common Era.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like BCE, they call that like post or pre-modern times, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The scientists and historians come up with the human era calendar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, it begins 12,000 years ago, so this would be the year 12,021. He had 10,000 years to the current calendar because he says all of humanity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is basically been during the last 12,000 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he wants this to start from when hunter gatherer lifestyle went to fix settlements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A, uh, Frank Costanza type guy came up with his own calendar. Uh, the international fix calendar has 13 months. Uh, there's some random days just thrown in there not attached to Monday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, Easter always follows the same day. Christmas would always be on Wednesday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, George Eastman of the Kodak company, or the Eastman Kodak, he's the only guy that really-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My bank is changing names. SunTrust is changing to like Truist or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a very slow rollout. First I just noticed it like, what is that written on the bottom of the website? And it's getting bigger and bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think the Brave Stadium is going to have to change names to Truis Park. Truis Park. I think it's Truis, something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From 1928 to 1989, he used this international fixed calendar at his company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was like the only one that kept doing it. Nobody else would try it. He even opened an office for headquarters for the International Fixed Calendar League, but it just never took off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His calendar says that there's no longer a July 4th. July 4th, Independence Day will now be Sol 16.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soul is a month that he added. He created. This is a 13th month calendar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the Soviet Union tried that, their own calendar, where you each get a date, like your day is blue day, and your day is green day, stuff like that. And, and it just didn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People were working different hours. There's been a lot of crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, they would assign families. They thought it would pick up productivity. Did a five day week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they're like, your day's blue, so those are the days you work. And then your day's green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some guy came up with an invention called the Positivist Calendar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every day, every day is 28, every month is 28 days. There's a standalone day at the end of the year for the dead, dawn of the dead, and every leap year they have an extra day dedicated to women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's a standalone, monthless day at the end of every year. So one day a year, it's dedicated to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This George Eastman idea, I mean Christmas was a different day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was on a Wednesday, so you couldn't celebrate with the rest of, if you worked there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, a new day starts at midnight and I always thought it should start like around sunrise. So I would change the new day. Yeah, something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause if you're like, I was out partying last night till 3 AM, you don't say, you just kind of count it as that, that previous day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we kinda do. Don't you, like, like, you don't look at the calendar, say, if you're playing, cause summer starts June 21st. If you're playing golf on June 6th, it's 90 degrees. I mean, it's like, oh, it's springtime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would change Easter to be the same day every year. I looked up what, I didn't even know how Easter fell. The rule of Easter is the Sunday after the full moon that is next after the March equinox on the Gregorian calendar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think I just read that's impossible, didn't I? After the March equinox. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it can range from late March to all the way through April.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, do you guys know how we came up with a week being seven days? I don't know why I keep asking this. Yes, I do. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give it a stab. So why we came? And I read two to three different answers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's another, that's what I always heard growing up. God created the earth in six days, rest on the seventh day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. The moon has four main phases. So some people say per month. So some people say that's what a week was based on. And the other thing I read, the Babylonians,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They gave it the number seven for the weeks because there were seven objects they could see in the sky. The sun?


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[Assistant] Sunday, the moon, Monday, then some gods that didn't match up, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturday, Saturn.


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[Assistant] No, they're Greek gods. They're other gods. They named it after. What was Friday?


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[Assistant] Uh, Thor's mom or something? I mean, I can't remember. It was like Freyda. It was something like that.


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[Assistant] Uhm, days are actually getting slightly longer because the Earth's rotation is slowing down.


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[Assistant] Tomic clocks show that the modern day is longer by 1.7 millisecond than it was a century ago.


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[Assistant] Alright, I'll do one more here. We got, uh, so the Julian calendar named after Julius Caesar. He was the first one to make it January 1st is the New Year Day.


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[Assistant] But in the, during the Middle Ages, which we've covered, we...


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[Assistant] Don't know much about, but during the Middle Ages, Christians


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[Assistant] Wilson. Wilson. And we ain't doing that.


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[Assistant] Uh, in the year 567, the Council of Tours, that's T-O-U-R-S, abolished January 1st as the beginning of the year, and it went, for a while it was December 25th, then they changed it to March 1st, then they changed it to March 25th, because there's a new birth date.


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[Assistant] We, uh, well, we covered a couple of weeks on the Christmas episode. That's when people, that's nine months before Christmas and they think that's when the angel Gabriel came to Mary and said, you'll be with child. So nine months later, December 25th is how we came up with Christmas. So there you go. The council of tours right there.


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[Assistant] There's two of them. Oh, 567. They had two tours. Uh, anyway.


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[Assistant] But if you ate at Applebee six hours ago, when, when the reverse, you'll remember in six hours, I'm back at Applebee's.


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[Assistant] I read where there's a group of scientists studying right now why time always goes forward and never backwards.


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[Assistant] I mean, I can't get my head around even why you would have to think about that.


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[Assistant] Going forward, you're going to stuff that hasn't happened to us yet. In theory, going back, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause you don't, I don't, I think Panera, you can let that slide. Uh, it says the Pew Research Center says...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I've definitely gained weight during the pandemic, so I'm hoping to get back from largest to medium shirts.


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[Assistant] Uhm, so the most popular resolutions, uh, number one, getting rid of debt.


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[Assistant] Number two, eating healthier. Number three, exercising more. Number four, losing weight. So the three of the top four are all kind of the same thing.


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[Assistant] But according to US News and World Report, the failure rate for New Year's resolutions is said to be about 80%.


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[Assistant] And most lose their break it by mid February.


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[Assistant] And research shows that on average it takes approximately 66 days for a habit to become automatic.


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[Assistant] You never just want to go once, just immediately like, I'm good.


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[Assistant] Yeah, one final update on a previous story. The, I meant to mention this last week, the balloon boy parents got a pardon from the Colorado's governor. Oh really? Wow.


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[Assistant] They were already out of jail, but now they're working with records. Were they in jail?


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[Assistant] The dad had to go for a while, yea. A while? Like, maybe 30 days or something.


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[Assistant] And, but his record's expired, so, so he's no longer a felon.


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[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to Nate-land.


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[Assistant] Big shout out today to Helix Sleep. Take their 2 minute sleep quiz and they will match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Find your perfect mattress at helixsleep.com slash nate.


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[Assistant] Uh, as always, I'm sitting here, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. Uh, we also have a guest. We have a guy, this guy dropped in town.


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[Assistant] And, uh, so we had him in, uh, Yanis Papas. Thank you. Yeah. You don't know.


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[Assistant] I know. So a lot of what people don't know if, uh, if they're in the comedy scene, you probably haven't seen Yanis. And it's, uh, Yanis, Yanis has his own podcast, Yanni, Yanni Long Days, History of the Hyenians.


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[Assistant] That'll help, yeaah. You know, those are Republican viewers as well.


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[Assistant] So the Nateland name, actually Yanis is the one that came up with uh, Nateland. Cause you would say every time you left New York, you're from New York, from Brooklyn.


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[Assistant] Yeah, as I always say, uh, Yannis went to American University and I went to the University of America. That's what we did.


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[Assistant] We did, we did a whole tour with, you know, it was the Dan that set this tour up was, he did great at setting this tour up. He did. It was pretty crazy. It was the most money we made at that time. Oh yeah. I mean, it was, you know, we, I mean, it might've been like a couple thousand dollars a show or something. And we were like,


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[Assistant] Helix mattress. Uh, so we're gonna start as usual. We're gonna go through the comments. We got Yannis here for all of it. Uh, put him to use using all of it. That's what I'm here for. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, Christina Mauburg, my husband and I look forward to your show every single week. We try not to talk about any of the episodes until both of us have had a chance to finish it because we don't want to spoil anything for each other. Wait a second, what was that word? Spoil. Spoil? Spoil. Spoil? How do you say it?


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[Assistant] You could call it a spoil. We don't want to spoil anything for each other. But we love rehashing it and cracking up all over again. I get so excited when a new episode comes out because I cannot wait to hear the silliness that you guys bring to the table. Love it all. Don't change a thing. She's going to hate this one to be honest.


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[Assistant] Chris Merrigan. Hello folks, this podcast feels like Brontosaurus. That's the joke. Do you get it? Because his name starts with a B? Yeah.


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[Assistant] And so everybody, we all call them just different names. Okay. It's a fun, uh, whirlwind. Yeah. Uh, the pod, this podcast feels like Bronisaurus is an over-prepared substitute teacher with all his research and Nate and Aaron clearly just wants him to put on a movie. Love the podcast. Keep them coming. Goodbye folks. Let's say that's fair. That's perfect.


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[Assistant] Nathan Fox, there was a comment a few episodes back where a husband convinced his wife that Boy Scout was Nate's father. I think watching Nate read the comments and having Bowflex saying the big words when he's struggling is the very reason why that is believable lie.


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[Assistant] As a new father, it's inspiring to see bratwurst still being a loving father to Nate. Forget parenting books. I get all my inspiration from this podcast. Look forward to every Wednesday for this. Thank you guys.


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[Assistant] Reading? Yeaah. I get through it. I get that. Trouble reading. It's like Floyd Mayweather trying to get through it. Yeaah. It's tough. Yeaah. I mean he's progressed a lot though. He's doing good. It's tough.


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[Assistant] Nate, I think it's about time you hired some non-local help to come on full time.


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[Assistant] Love the podcast, but come on. Beefy and Silver Surfer, I know you guys can do better. Nate, killing it as always. I was saying I should get different people than you. Was he calling me beefy? Uh, beefy and Silver Surfer. That's a tough one, cause I'm the bee, but you're the beefy.


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[Assistant] I would imagine, you know, you have a lot of gray hair, but you don't have gray hair. I have gray hair. Got some shine.


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[Assistant] No it's not. I mean there's a lot of people from a lot of places. My cul-de-sac is full of, no one's from there. Ohio, New Jersey, uh, Louisiana. You got one from there.


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[Assistant] She was flying a lot, uh, and then so, and we haven't really talked to them much because she was, they were gone so much, they're gone so, but she, we know her kids, her kids come over. Her kids would come over after they flew to China?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Tim Shockley. You've had it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Joyce Breckenridge. I feel like Aaron holds back a lot of his thoughts. Maybe so Nate won't beat up on him. I love you all, but stop being mean to Aaron for being thoughtful. You can be mean to brochure though. That's just funny.


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[Assistant] I got to thinking maybe she would be insulted if I stopped to help you just because she was in a wheelchair.


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[Assistant] So we drove by a couple times cause I didn't know what to do. My daughter said, this sounds like something they would talk about on the Nate land podcast. Maybe not, but I do wonder what would you guys have done? So she has helped. Like she likes doing it maybe.


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[Assistant] I mean, how young are these kids? You know, if it's like a five year old, then they can't help her. Maybe she would like to help, but if they were, you know, old enough to be helping, yeah.


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[Assistant] No, no, I mean we definitely get some snow, but it's not like in, it's not nor, it's not a thing that you worry about.


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[Assistant] Well we shut down. If we get a dusting, school's out.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I think they did the right, you know, you do what you do. You drive by a couple of times, see if you think you need it. Probably made her even more worried. I mean, after you drive by a couple of times, it's like, you can't stop. Cause she's like, you get a car that's been driving back and forth.


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[Assistant] You got to kind of bell it in. So it ended up being, it is what it is. Yeah. If you didn't help right out the gate, then it's, you know, you, the effort was there to help. And then you contemplated it.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I don't know, I mean maybe, maybe she would.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Is that what you're going to ask her? You're going to come out and just route it? What happened?


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[Assistant] Ben Shaw, when I was a camp counselor, I was driving a boat full of 11 year olds when I spotted a bald eagle flying down to catch a fish in its claws. I stopped the boat, turned off the motor and called the attention to the eagle.


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[Assistant] As camp counselors do, I gave a quick speech on the glory of our nation's symbol and how powerful it was. Just as I finished my speech an ugly buzzard flew up


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[Assistant] Yeaah. They don't care. It's brutal out there. It's brutal out there. It's brutal out there. An eagle can just take your house. That's what we're talking about. It's a very funny idea that an eagle can.


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[Assistant] Hey guys, I'm a 20 year old college student in Georgia and I love listening to y'all's podcasts every week. Huge fan of Seinfeld in the office as well, so it's even better to get every joke you say.


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[Assistant] This past week, I went on a date with a girl to impress her. I said I like eight of Nate's jokes as my own.


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[Assistant] Oh, I, to impress her, I said like eight of Nate's jokes as my own during dinner, and she was laughing the whole time, thinking I'm coming up with all of it on the spot.


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[Assistant] You're like, daddy, let me, let me read that. I think it's, uh, I like when they. Yeah, no, that's funny. I was just joking. Shows your, your, your material travels. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. He gets a Tennessee kid. He can do, uh, the standups. He can do the standups. Yeah. Comedy Central, Half Hour Presents. Yeah. No one finds that. I have a CD.


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[Assistant] Bordeaux. Bordeaux. Henry Bordeaux. Hello Nate, Aaron and Bowflex.


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[Assistant] Hello Nate, Aaron, and Bowflex. I've realized the man at the Starbucks by my house has actually been calling me Memphis this past two weeks. I thought that's what he's been saying but never really paid attention. This morning he definitely said have a good one Memphis.


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[Assistant] I feel like I've gone too far with not correcting him after the first couple of times. Do I just become Memphis with this person? My fear is I will go here with my wife and they will refer to me as Memphis and then I'll have to explain. I just want to live my life. I need advice. Bye for now. Why was he calling him Memphis?


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's just out there. I think you just Memphis, dude. I think you enjoy walking there in your Memphis, dude. Like that's a, that's a fun. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And then they just, yeaah, it's a fun one. It's a fun game, yeaah. It's a fun game. It's a fun game. I like always pointing people out if they, if you think they look like someone, giving some of the wrong numbers is fun too.


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[Assistant] That's a lot of work. I've had a few comics, stay with me, Yannis Papas.


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[Assistant] Justin Smith. They all sleep on the Helix mattress and they all loved it. And they were very comfortable and it is pretty crazy to me to have a


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[Assistant] Universal mattress that everybody can sleep on and everybody's happy. It is pretty wild. I mean, people don't like mattresses when you go to someone's house. And so it's nice to have.


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[Assistant] A very comfortable mattress. And I mean, we, we have a wide variety of sizes of guys sleeping on that mattress. Did Nick sleep on it? Nick slept. I mean, we had Nick slept on it. Yannis Pappas and Justin Smith.


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[Assistant] I mean, it is all the sizes that you would ever imagine.


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[Assistant] Helix Sleep has a quiz that takes just two minutes to complete and matches your body type and sleep preference to the perfect mattress for you.


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[Assistant] So if you're looking for a mattress, you just take the quiz, you order the mattress that you're matched to, and the mattress comes right to your door, shipped for free. You don't ever need to go to a mattress store ever again, which is a big thing. You can't go anywhere anymore. So order it. And like we said, it's super fun to unpack.


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[Assistant] It's a good time. It's a good time. Me and Aaron will come over to your house when you get it, just so we can open it with you. Cause we love it that much. Just go to helixsleep.com slash Nate, take their two minutes sleep quiz and they're match you. They have a 10 year warranty and you try to, and you get to try it out for a hundred nights risk free.


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[Assistant] They will even pick it up for you if you don't love it, but I mean, you're gonna love it. Everybody's loved it.


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[Assistant] Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattresses.


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[Assistant] All mattress orders and two free pillows.


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[Assistant] Alright, so, uh, since Giannis is here and we've been talking about states, uh, we wanted to, uh, you know, uh, as, as a New Yorker.


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[Assistant] We wanted, we wanted to have someone in that is from New York. The real deal. The real deal. Yeah. Born and raised. Yeah. Tell me I have no culture, never lived anywhere else. Two blocks from his mom's house. That's right. That's right. Yeah. But I'm the one.


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[Assistant] But the summer. Yeah, it depends on where you're located. Well, it seems like a weird place to be like, no, summer's perfect.


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[Assistant] No, not really. No? No. They went to Notre Dame. Are any of y'all


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[Assistant] It was, uh, yeah, yeah, Chris Laker. And they, uh, yeah, it was so funny to realize though that we were never recording. I mean, it's just the audio were like, it just didn't sound good.


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[Assistant] I mean, dude, podcasts were so new that it was, it wasn't like you had all this stuff or you had, now it's like everything's so, you can do them on your phone and it's professional and then you just couldn't.


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[Assistant] When you saw the iPhone come out and you could swipe, how did you react to that news? Cause Aaron gassed. Aaron said, he remembers watching it on TV and he goes, ah.


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[Assistant] And, uh, doing New York in that room was, it was a side room.


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[Assistant] And so you would stand on stage and you would face forward and you would just see the wall. There could maybe be one table in front of you and then everybody had to sit to the side.


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[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, so we started, uh, so started in New York. You were born and raised in Brooklyn, New York.


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[Assistant] That was a fun little gig. We'd go up there, uh, it was a nice little town. We had it, that was the only gig I kinda had that I booked. Cause I, they brought me up.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're just in your, you're in your world. So you're in your group. So it's you against the audience in a way. Like it's these people were coming in, you're trying to put on a good show. Uh, and it, there's those New York days at the beginning. I mean, I wouldn't trade that stuff in. That's what made me even the comic and made him the comic that he said that we are is because of that. That's why I think New York comics are the best.


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[Assistant] Because we, we had a hang every single night, so it was, you know, four or five years, uh, and I was there for almost nine, but, so you're almost nine, but towards the end you start traveling a little bit, so you're not around each other as much. You're, you're kind of going in and doing spots and doing a show and you're leaving, so you're not getting the hang.


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[Assistant] But that beginning four or five years, you're around each other, I mean, more than you're around your family. You're every night for eight hours and it's just jokes and it's just making each other laugh. And that's why I think your comics, I think without a doubt.


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[Assistant] And performing in front of an audience that you're going to a comedy club that they want to be there. We, what made New York Comics so good is we performed in front of people that didn't want to be in the room they were in. And that was, I mean, that was most of them. It was like tricking them into coming in. Oh, we got a free show done. And I mean, you're just, people would just talk them in off the street. Did you bark a lot?


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[Assistant] You would find someone that would produce a lot of gigs, and so then he would have like, Souljoe would have me, him, uh, Soder, Vecchione, a lot of us would do a lot of his gigs. I remember doing Souljoe gigs, some no one would show up. What was it, Souljoe? Souljoe. Souljoe. Souljoe.


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[Assistant] He just knew how to run shows. I mean, he just knew how to do it, but I mean, but we were around him when he was starting out too. So some of those first shows, now he's cooking, now he's actually, he makes and doing really good shows.


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[Assistant] They, uh, when we do, I remember doing one Soul Joe gig when no one was there and we're, and it's like, you still gotta go up and you're like, I don't want to, you know, let's just not do it. But it's like to get the money, you gotta do something. You're doing a show for like one guy. I think, but that was at the beginning when he was, he was still figuring out his.


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[Assistant] You have no, you have no choice. Yeah, you're in another place where people want to be there. I mean that, that's what New York teaches you and that's why, that's why, I mean.


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[Assistant] The comics that are in New York that people don't even know who they are are better than most famous comedians. I mean, they're, they're just so good because they're just constantly like almost having to talk your way onto a show and you're having to convince this audience that, I mean, I remember they, people that wouldn't speak English.


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[Assistant] You'd have a lot of people that I remember going to, uh, Broadway Comedy Club.


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[Assistant] And we would do those shows, I mean I would do those shows, it'd be midnight. It'd be midnight 1am, 2am, we'd be on. Those were like first club shows. Those were the first clubs. That room ended up becoming, Dustin ran that upstairs. It would start at midnight.


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[Assistant] And that room was great. It was great. It was great. And so we would all just hang out in the hallway, the crowd. I mean, it started out not that many people in the crowd to then be in these packed shows.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we got left alone up there. Uh, you know, so it was like Dustin, we'd all just run it, like run it. I mean, we'd help Dustin run it. Like, but we, you just got left alone. You were just up there in your own little world. They come in with a ticket.


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[Assistant] We do, uh, yeah, you're not going to be in the main gates, but you're going to be up there.


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[Assistant] New York has that though. I remember riding on the subway and you would see the language in New York. It would blow me away just to see, I mean.


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[Assistant] People, kids my daughters age. And I mean, it's like listening to, uh, construction workers. I mean, they're just like, right, right. Like, and you're like, what? And the parents talk like that. Yeah. Cursing was not.


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[Assistant] You're committed, you know? It's good. Well, I always think if you, if, if, if a young comic's listening to this, if you wanna practice, not cursing, you should, you gotta practice in your regular life. You should. You gotta get it out there.


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[Assistant] Well, it's true, it's, well the idea of it too now is, that's all so many people do, that I took it as a comic, it's like, this makes me sound different.


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[Assistant] If I don't curse, I choose different words to use where I would have, where you would curse. And so that to me, I think is your rhythms and all this stuff and these different words you choose.


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[Assistant] It makes it, it just makes you sound different and you stick out. Like that's not, it's even more about that. Just you sound different. And so if you, we're in a field of everybody that we're all making jokes about only so many topics. So you gotta sound, you gotta have something that makes you sound different.


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[Assistant] And then that, that was a way to do that. I think it's impressive too.


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[Assistant] Jim Brewer might be pretty clean. Jim Brewer is clean now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's pretty interesting. I mean, it's just, yeah, in New York no one was starting like, but we would do, that's, that was the hard part is we would do all these uncensored shows. Yeah. And you, but so you'd have to just do all


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was, uh, uh, Ms. Woods, uh, was a teacher at my high school and she would drive me home and she always drove with two feet left for the brake, right for the gas. And so I, I've always done that.


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[Assistant] I just saw her doing it and then so it always stuck with me and then I just kinda started doing it. It makes sense. Once you get used to it, I know how to break with my left foot. It's cause you don't know how to break with your left foot, but I do. Now I will switch back and forth but I can drive with both, I drive with both feet.


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[Assistant] Well, it's like, I'll, I'll still do it and it just kind of, it's a, it kind of flows to do both. But I, I could park, I mean my best parallel parking was I parked touching bumpers of both cars. I got in to a spot and I was touching both, both cars.


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[Assistant] I delivered FedEx when I first moved to New York, so I would deliver in, uh,


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[Assistant] Manhattan was easy for FedEx cause it's all grid so it was easy to just go up and back and forth and you get a lot of tickets there cause you couldn't really park so you just had to double park and run in and try to drop the package off real fast.


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[Assistant] Uh, but the hard spot, hard places to deliver was Queens. And when you, cause you go to Queens and the streets were just, there's no grid. And so, I mean, this is back, you had to have, I did a map. So you had to actually use a map.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I remember delivering, we had a big snowstorm once I got caught out in that and had to, I mean, I went sliding down MLK Boulevard, I believe, and I was just sliding down the hill and I had to get it turned.


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[Assistant] And I remember some guy was going to help me move, but he wanted me to give him money to help him. And I mean, I was like, I don't have any money. Like I was 20, you know, five years old, no money. And I was like, I don't know. And then he's like, uh, and then he left me and then I finally got it. Like where I just, I got it where I could just slide all the way back down the hill. And then I drove back to the.


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[Assistant] Oh, Laura, when Laura moved there. And then we were, uh, yeaah, cause she worked. So we just had an apartment. But I think our apartment was like 1200 bucks a month. Which was a lot to us. Which was insane.


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[Assistant] Rent controlled is huge in New York. Huge. Rent controlled is, that's what you wanted. There's people in, that lived in, uh, the village, in the West Village and people would try to get them out and they would just keep passing it to their family, right?


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[Assistant] But I mean, people would be paying like 500 bucks a month for a place that they could sell for 4 million dollars. But they can't sell it. And then they don't ever leave. They do that to make it affordable for people who grew up there.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Son of Sam. That's why we need comedy guys. Yeah, a lot of dogs on that route.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but those are the ones. You can just go silent on them. They go silent on them. It'll be fun for the audience.


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[Assistant] Trump, was he born in New York? Trump, right? Yeah. Trump was born in Queens. Oh, Trump.


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[Assistant] So I met a, there's a chiropractor here that did, uh, bobsledding. Just call him a fake doctor. Yeah, and then so. There's a fake doctor here. Chiropractor. You're against chiropractors.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, so the, the chiropractor, so he was a, he won a, I think they won a, I want to say silver medal in the bobsled. But I asked him about it, I was like, how is it, you know, because obviously we're in America, you're not like, you know who the bobsledders are. But he was, he was like Russian, all those places. I mean, that is the Super Bowl to them. I mean, they.


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[Assistant] They lose it and they go so fast.


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[Assistant] And I was like, can you ever, there's other tournaments and stuff that they play and it'll be just, I mean.


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[Assistant] Thousands and thousands of people, these things. And I was like, can you hear them, like, cheering? You know, cause you're moving so fast. He's like, you hear like, uh, he's like, you go through it, you hear like, uh.


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[Assistant] Like that's how, like, as you pass them, yeah, just like, as they just seem, like that's all you hear. You just cut, cause it's just so loud. And you got your helmet on and just, did we do good?


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[Assistant] I heard, I heard something, but they lose it. That's a great sport where you get to watch the sport for a split second. I mean just a split second.


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[Assistant] And that's all guys that are like sprinters cause he was a sprinter. And so the ones that can't make it in the actual competition, but they're very fast. They tend to be like, Hey, why don't you come do this? Cause you're fast and you can run. And so that's funny. Was that what the Jamaican bobsleigh team? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Well, it was, it's, Chris Farley, uh, was so funny. Yeah. And then I would almost think you could put Chris Farley and Will Ferrell more together than John Candy and the fact that if John Candy would have given you way, if he would have been alive still, the roles he could have given you would have been crazy. He was a very, very good actor and he's just so funny. I agree.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean, Chris Farley, I think would have, uh, I think was like good and it was like just in this compact life where John Candy, if he would have still been here, I mean, he would probably would have won an Oscar. Like he was like, he was like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For real? Yea. That's crazy. According to the internet. Yea.


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[Assistant] So would y'all go to upstate New York a lot? Like, or do y'all? I live. Not now you do, but I'm saying growing up, like, is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Uh, I would, so like camp, did y'all go to camp? We never had camps. You go to camps?


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[Assistant] Camp stories, like it's, uh, it's such a common thing. I mean, it'd be packed. I mean, it just.


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[Assistant] New York was the first time I ever moved where people really asked like, where are you from? Where's your family from? Where's your name from? That was, no one ever asked.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they've just been in Brooklyn just never. Brooklyn, yeah. Never go. And they think if you've ever been there, you're like, yeah. You gotta think how. Maybe school. You could go school trip.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And then, uh, but riding the subway was nut. I mean, it was just- Nuts back there. Nuts.


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[Assistant] Would you ever go to Times Square when it was like that bad?


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[Assistant] It's crazy to think these areas now are so expensive to live in. Red Hook is expensive. Park Slope, Park Slope is not, do you still have your parents house? I mean, like, yeah, when you, you ever sell your, your family home, I mean, it's whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 19.59, $28,000 and now you can sell it for millions.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And it's almost like you had to do it because what are you gonna do? If you don't do it, they might be the problem that you have. Right. And so if you don't want any other problems, you're like, I just want to be a nice restaurant. People can come in and eat. It's kind of choose in between two evils. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, so. Yeaah, it was like a, almost a better...


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[Assistant] Do you think, do you think growing up in New York, do you, like, did y'all think about the rest of America ever? Never.


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[Assistant] I mean, y'all just think you're the world. Because there's so many people from different places there. So I mean, you didn't, Tennessee never crossed your mind.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And then where was the first city you went to outside of her state? Probably DC.


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[Assistant] But then do you remember going even farther, like middle of the country?


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[Assistant] That's what I always found it when we would always talk about that, like we would always joke and make fun of each other, but they're saying like, I wasn't cultured, but it's a very weird, different kind of thing. Technically you're, he's not cultured either, even though I'm not cultured.


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[Assistant] And the fact that, I don't know, you know so many people from so many different places and so many different countries and wor- I mean like, just these whole other worlds you're around, like you're- the way these people grow up and you're- and I was never around that, but I have traveled more and I've-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To your dad, to you, y'all are in Brooklyn. I mean, it's kind of insane that you don't live where you do. I guess when your brother moved to DC was kind of crazy. He moved. Yeah. He moved away. That was a big deal. Big deal. Yeah. Yeah. And why are you going to DC? He went to school there.


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[Assistant] No, I'm just saying, like, that's your family thought, like. Yeah, well.


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[Assistant] Is there a different per- there's a different personality of Brooklyn and Queens and New York? So like, Sam Real, uh, very funny Canadian. Manhattan Kid. Manhattan Kid. Yeah. Manhattan Kid y'all did not put up with. Different. They're different. They're like rich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, doesn't? No. No, yeah. Yeah, you're, yeah, you've been off


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[Assistant] So yeah, but Sam was in Manhattan. I remember Sam going on the road for the first time was like him leaving Manhattan. No license. When did you get your license? Yeah, twenties. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it shows you, everybody that lives in your town, you don't really pay attention to anything else. I remember going to New York, I mean obviously you hear about New York, and I remember seeing the Statue of Liberty, and so I, I mean I would go look at it a lot. I would just always, and I would always remember,


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[Assistant] Every time I saw it, I was like, I can't believe I'm looking at the Statue of Liberty. And I thought that for nine years. I always look, I looked at it before I left. I just always would go to it and go, I can't believe I'm seeing the Statue of Liberty. That's so crazy with my own eyes. I'm looking at it. Where you would have, I mean, it was just.


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[Assistant] I think we skipped it. I think we missed it. We went a different round. You went a different round.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we have some, but we went, uh, I tried to look it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when I went, and I couldn't, I couldn't find my name, but we could have been spelled under a different name.


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[Assistant] We do think they came through a different way. Some people did come through, I think the Carolinas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did you come? Your grandparents? Grandparents.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're the first of the crew where you were, we knew what you made and it was like, it was nuts. And we couldn't believe it. Uh, it was, it was crazy. I mean, he had a, he was getting recognized everywhere. His videos would go viral and, uh, I was with him with, uh, uh, Marisa when he came up Marisa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I remember The Diner, I thought we did it on that radio show too, but uh, No, yeaah. No, I always remember The Diner, I thought we also, it was something, but maybe we were doing that radio show and then we...


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[Assistant] Are we doing that show and then we went to that diner? I could walk you to that diner. It's by Union Square, right? Like, uh, it's a famous New York diner. Yeah, I could, I could go to that diner and every time I went to that diner once with David Tell, we ate late one night and I would go sit and I was like, I could show you the booth. I definitely remember it because it was.


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[Assistant] Uh, because it just, it was the first thing that we saw as a comedian. You were the first thing that kinda took off. We had fans.


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[Assistant] So none of us had fans, and none of us had people that even knew us.


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[Assistant] And so Yanis was the first one to go like, oh, you're selling out. I mean, we went to Caroline's, it was crazy. It was a sold out weekend, he's making a ton of money, he's doing these characters, Mr. Panos, he had the Panos fan, all the Greek fans, because Panos took off too. Panos was earlier, but it was only


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, didn't you have like, uh, J-Lo and you had- J-Lo?


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[Assistant] Uh, Schumer and, uh, Aziz. I would see that. You'd see people blow up and we were friends with all of them, but it was the first like, they're like, well, this is my dude. And then he's like, now he's sold out of this club and these people are losing it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and then you quit the podcast. Then I quit the podcast, which was the best thing that ever happened to you.


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[Assistant] 1609 was when it was. Uh, couple hundred thousand dollars.


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[Assistant] Wow. New York City. Yep. Was there a lot of finance guys? Like a lot of you around all that? Like in Brooklyn? Yeah.


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[Assistant] That's all I, that's what you, would that be what a lot of people wanted to become?


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[Assistant] There's all that going on. Yeah, there's all that going on. That's all still going on.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, they don't make their money. So that's how we would get paid in comedy is 25 bucks for Sunday to Thursday. You get 25 bucks a set. So you would do, everybody would do 10, 15 minutes depending on the club and you could do as many sets as you can get to and all over the city and you'd be 25 bucks in the weekend. You'd get 75 bucks to host. You get 125.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think it was like 20, yeah, maybe 50 for the weekend and maybe 15 or something for during the week. But Ted, uh, very funny comic and Ted did, Ted, they kind of, uh, did a protest, a strike. Him and Russ Moniz. Yeah. And cause they weren't paying the people enough and it was getting more expensive for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cabs and for, you'd have to do cabs or trains to get all these spots and these clubs were charging more money. Well, just by inflation.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you can't, yeah, like doing a real set is like if you go do, if you're actually selling tickets, cause that's when you use, when you, and on the road, like we have that at Zany's, where we pop in a lot on this new material night, no one's advertising, we don't know if we're coming as much, but a lot of local comics do that.


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[Assistant] Well yeaah, because then you actually have your show that, like we have a Ryman show that hopefully you're gonna...


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[Assistant] I bet it's going to be October now, but it's been rescheduled for a year and a half, uh, because of COVID. And so you've all those tickets and so people, I just hope people hold on and we'll be there in October. But like that's the Rymans, the, yeah, that's the things that you start selling. So you have to do, you do have to be careful that you can't, your name can't be.


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[Assistant] On these and that's the, you hope people stop by. And that was big with New York where Chappelle was stopping by and all these people unannounced, Chris Rock, I mean they, they.


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[Assistant] The clubs are kind of known to that. A, you're seeing great comedians that will probably be something someday.


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[Assistant] But you also are about, like, who's gonna stop by? And there was a moment in New York, I mean, when we were there at the end, I mean, it was, you know, Louis C.K., Chappelle, like, I mean, it was, uh, someone was almost always there. Yeah.


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[Assistant] The Rock, Seinfeld, like, I mean, it was...


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[Assistant] You were- Gaffigan, you gotta give- Gaffigan. Gaffigan's just so humble about it, but I mean- No, Gaffigan, stop it. He would just come in and- I mean, a guy does arenas.


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[Assistant] I mean that Gafkin's, uh, you know, I mean Kevin Hart sells a lot of tickets, but I don't think the, I always say the wealth of tickets to Gafkin sells as far as, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Africans are going to cities you've never heard of and doing their maybe arena where they, uh, he can do whatever they do, fairground they have there and he'll sell it out and going to these, I mean these tiny cities and these markets and it's everywhere. It's every market, every, you know, and then maybe go to Russia and go to Mexico and.


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[Assistant] Do all these, anywhere in Canada, Sweden, it doesn't matter. Russia was great, and he sold out Russia.


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[Assistant] Yeah. 18,000. Yeah. And they're doing, and that's more than most. Third leading producer of dairy products. Yeah. 18,000 doesn't seem like a lot. I want to get 18,000.


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[Assistant] You're very proud people. Very proud. Very proud. A city that smells like...


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[Assistant] Cause it's always like, I like, you're, you're there. You're New York. You're, you're Brooklyn. You're New York. It's not outside. You're not, you know, cause I mean, I don't like even the people that try to say, someone says they're from Buffalo and they go and they tell someone from New York, you're like, come on, you know, you, you know what you're doing.


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[Assistant] No, yeah, a little bit. You look down like yup. You're not Luke Holler. You're not us. You didn't go through it.


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[Assistant] You gotta be good. The idea of moving there and making people laugh was so big of a deal because you go there and it's tough. It's the hardest place to make people laugh. There's so many shows, like you said, there's so many shows you can go to. There's Broadway. You're next to Broadway.


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[Assistant] Phantom of the Opera professionally is just two blocks away. We can go to that and we're in this room watching you. You better be worth it. And it's pretty crazy.


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[Assistant] Have you ever heard of an Elks Lodge? Yea, I've done a show on an Elks Lodge. Just because of comedy? Yea. Wouldn't have heard of it before, right? I don't remember an Elks Lodge growing up. But yea, we did, uh, Elks Lodges. Yea, we went into, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, Vanity, uh, Vanity Forte game I watched, uh, at Elks Lodge. I listened to it at Vanity Lost, and then, uh, I listened to it in my car, and I remember I was hosting,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, so I would kind of just go back to my car at Sirius. Just had to get to Sirius. It was kind of new. And I had my dad's old car and it came with Sirius.


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[Assistant] And so I had it, so I'd go back and listen to the car and I remember walking back to the Elks Lodge and we're done. I'm like, let me go back and listen to the end of this game. And I remember just looking down and I saw a room below and I was like, what's going on down there? And there's a TV and the game's on and the TV. So I was like, I could have been down here watching the whole game and sit down in this car in the woods listening to this Vandy Florida game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put a lot of people, I feel like you get to know people. When you see people laugh, it shows that person's personality and what they can handle. Music, you can sit and just like nod and you could be like, someone could be like, Oh, I hated it. And you're like, Oh, you were smiling. It's like, I can show any reaction, but making someone laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you could just, I mean, you could sit someone in a room and show them, you know, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Playing trains and automobiles. Just see what they laugh at and you can get a gauge on what kind of person that is. Any kind of comedy. It's, it's, it's, it's very hard to make someone laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What comedy, uh, do you remember the first comedy show you went to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I remember going to New York, I bought a ticket at Broadway Comedy Club, which was then Bra, which we were, and I went and bought it. I remember buying a ticket to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I remember seeing Vic Henley and uh, he was a great guy from, from the south. I remember watching him at the comic strip and he was running a host. And I remember he ran on stage and said, I don't even know. He goes, I just got, he goes, I just ran down here. They told me I was upstairs. I was in my apartment. They're like, this comic's not showing up. So I got to come do a set. And I remember just being like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's so crazy. This guy's on stage now doing jokes and he was at home and they just needed him to come and you don't.


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[Assistant] You know, it was his job. It was his job. And, uh, and I, but at the time you're, it was just blown away by that, by that, that could happen. I remember, I remember just being like, I want to do that. I want to, I want to just be called and have it to go up and figure it out. And it was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, uh, yeaah, New York. That was New York. That was great. We did it. That was great. We did it. I think that was a little different than, you know, usually, uh, we read a lot of facts. We got a real, the real deal here. The real deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not at all times. I, you know, I kind of took it as I've done so much vanity stuff that I think I'm associated with them a little bit and I like that. But I have it, I'm always around it. Right. I mean, I always still do the anchor down like on every special or tonight show I always throw up the video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a positive rock. When you get older, and uh, I used to wear basketball shorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to bed, just peel off, warm up clothes. I don't think that's a big New York thing. Y'all used to wear double basketball shorts. No, no, you're a little off. We used to do that, play a little ball in Brooklyn. We played a little ball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, as always, uh, Yannis Pappas, Yanni Longdays, his own podcast, uh, which I'm a big fan of, and that's what you do. Imagine if you're gonna go listen to it, it's gonna, gonna be some language.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then history, history hyenas. Yes, go check those out. Uh, uh, Yana's one of my long friends in comedy. Uh, we've been friends for a long time. 16, 17 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Still going. There's a teenager going through puberty. Loyal. I don't let go. No, you're loyal. You're loyal. You're loyal. You're loyal. You're from Mt. Julia. You come in, you come in. Yeaah. You're not spoiled, you're loyal. Yeaah. I'm from Brooklyn. I'm from Brooklyn. Uh, alright. As always, thank you guys for listening and, uh, we will see you, uh, next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello, folks. Welcome to Nate-land. Uh, first off, I want to thank, uh, thank you to Viori for sponsoring this episode of Nate-land. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75. Uh, alright, welcome. Uh, so we, we've had a little bit behind, cause as you know, I think a lot of places got snow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did, uh, we got a ton, most snow I've seen in Nashville. I think that I ever remember for this long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a hill by us and a guy had his skis out. It was like Colorado, it was like snow like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it was like perfect. We went sledding. I got, uh, I posted a video about me sledding and everybody got mad at me with, uh, cause I had my hands down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I would like everybody to know that Hill was nuts. I want to go see what it was actually now the snow's gone because I think it's something we shouldn't have been on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just don't know, you know? Like it was, it was so fast. And I remember going down it and, uh, I had my feet at first and I was like, well, that's, that's not going to stop. And so then I just had my hands, you kind of steering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but it's, I mean, it was straight down, it's super bumpy. It was, you know, and then it goes back up a hill and I was like, I don't wanna shoot off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean there is one part of it I went down and I went back up to the top and he was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a lot. You'd see some rocks sticking up and you're like, just don't go telling the kids, just don't go over by those rocks. You're like, I just don't know if there's a giant rock that we're like, I'm very curious to go see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it could be a big problem. Also, since we did this, my special was announced March 18th. The greatest average American, which you guys knew first here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, March 18th, Netflix, greatest average American. Uh, I'm excited about it. You know, we'll see what happens. We're, uh, about to do, uh, just a ton of stuff for it. It gets so hectic. You just want, like, just to be like, it's out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The amount of like interviews you gotta go do. I mean, it's fun. It's, I mean, you have to do them. Uh, but it's a lot. So this is all I have to do here. Watch 18. Netflix. It's exciting, man. Thanks. Congrats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it'll be fun starting to figure out some new stuff. I got some club dates too. So, uh, I'm going to Phoenix, stand up live March 4 to 7.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a bunch of other stuff. I'm going to post something about that and I'll just let y'all know, but we're doing some club dates to kind of get back in the, it's all half capacity, you know, whatever the rules are. And, uh, but to get back in the groove of it, uh, before I start back on the theater tour, uh, which I got to think of a name for that. So we'll see what happens, whatever that's going to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's why I'm going out now. So I'll go out, you know, uh, March 4 to 7 is the beginning of the clubs and I got a bunch of clubs. I've been doing, we've been doing Zanies. I think I have about 20 minutes new. You know, I think it's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fine, uh, still figuring some of it out. So I would hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you could watch it. I think, look, that is always something people ask, and a lot of people do wait. I mean, if you were...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Close enough, I mean, if you wanted a way, you could. Like I would have people, if it comes out that weekend, you know, but I think overall,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, usually what you try to do is I would, I would do at the beginning, all the new stuff. So I'm hoping by the time the fall comes around, I'm hoping then I can have, I'll be 50 minutes at least. And then maybe I close with some old jokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overall should be, should be new. So I think watch it. Put the pressure on it. Watch it. Watch it. And I just watch you leave during the show and you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he's at it, you know. Uh, alright, so, uh, this week we are, uh, we're gonna, uh, play the episode, it's a pre-recorded episode that we did with Adam Ray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Washington state, but Adam also tells a bunch of fun stories. He was, uh, a universal studio and worked there and it's, uh, it was very funny. Just him. He was Wolverine and just super funny. He's also on the new show, uh, the young rock on NBC plays Vince McMahon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, so, uh, but we, these comments, the comments are new, so you're going to see our outfits will change. But we wanted to get some new comments because we wanted at least to be able to talk to y'all. Cause I feel like we've done a lot of, we've had a prerecord, a few of them. And so we want to be able to, you know, talk in a regular time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we, we've missed some of these comments. So first up, Christopher Malo, oh, Maloy, Christopher Maloy, Mal, M-A-L-L-O-Y, we're back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why I thought Mal. I think I was, I think I thought it was heading the Mal direction. And then it took a turn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, best episode yet, this is the New York episode. Best episode yet, Nate has so much history and comedy with some of the best comedians of our era. I like the rapport with Aaron and Beagle, and they should be, and they should be a majority of the episodes, but please have more New York comics on. It's a nice treat. Uh, thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree that they should be, you guys should be majority. I would love for you not being everyone, but you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, when you go back to New York, that was the biggest thing. So when you're doing shows in New York, it's very fast because you're in front of an audience. People don't like, you go in front of an audience that always send them to go on these shows that they don't expect it to be a comedy show or they don't know what they expect. They don't know you are, you know, it's not, it's just different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't, so you got to like just crush them and everybody's killing. Everyone on the show has got TV credits. These are all heads, basically a show full of headlines.


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[Assistant] And so you got to kind of bring it and you can always fill it when you would leave and then when you go back to New York. So once I moved and then would go back and you're like, Oh, I got it. I mean, I would bomb the first, you know, not bomb, but like it would be not great because you got to like kind of get back into that New York rhythm of like, Oh, I got to hit them.


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[Assistant] Pretty quick. And you, you get everything kinda tight. New York's really good about teaching how to get stuff tight. Like, really making a, like a Tonight Show set. Like a quick set. It makes it be super tight. And, uh, that's why I think New York Comics are the best.


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[Assistant] It's cause they, they know how to do that. So yeah, you do. And yeah, yeah, be honest, he's also from New York. So he's, he's just super, you know, they talk a lot.


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[Assistant] Jan is describing his grandfather paying off the mafia to keep things nice in the neighborhood. Sounds a lot like my HOA fees. It's the new HOA fee.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we have our HOA fees because everybody pays HOA. I think you pay HOA. I guess if you don't, if you're in a neighborhood. Yeah. And, uh, you will one day when you get, uh, I won't grow up. But you will.


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[Assistant] Well, you live, you don't live in a neighborhood. You live, you're in a neighborhood, but it's not like you don't enter a thing. It's like, welcome to this neighborhood.


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[Assistant] Uh, it's on a main road, it's on the highway.


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[Assistant] You live, you see those houses, they're always on the high, like just, uh, I'm driving 80. My kids are playing in the front yard. You're like, oh, sorry. I, uh.


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[Assistant] Our roads were super snowy and so they didn't get like, uh, someone to clear them at all. And, uh, my neighbor ordered pizza and the pizza guy went to the door and said, these are the worst roads I've seen.


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[Assistant] And it was, you know, you pay these HOA fees and you do, you're like, where are they going?


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[Assistant] What are we paying? It's like, well, they, they cut the grass in front of the, the entrance and you're like.


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[Assistant] I mean, there's a lot of houses in this neighborhood. I mean, there's not a little reserve that you go, well, this is for, we paid the income. Salter or something. They did nothing. We just, it's going to melt. They handled it as if you, how you would handle it in the wall.


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[Assistant] If you just live and you just go, well, the sun will get it eventually. Summer's coming. So that'll, that'll solve it. Cameron Mork.


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[Assistant] I was going to be very upset if old long days didn't make the editors work at least a little. Getting guests that aren't clean and trying to be clean is a funny concept and you should run with it. Uh, well that would be all the New York guys. So don't worry about that. There'd be plenty more of that where if they can do it. I think every one of them that will come in will have trouble.


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[Assistant] Uh, but yeah, we're have some more New York guys come in. Steve Byrne lives here. We just saw him today actually, uh, and he's a New York guy. And so he'll be, I mean, he can't keep it clean in front of his kids. So, uh, let's see what happens here. All right. These are the wall street comments.


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[Assistant] All right. T, three T's, three L's and three D's and then three, then three number threes. It's a title to three through three.


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[Assistant] Uh, this is in the, yikes. That Wall Street episode was like stretching Kramer and Jerry's clueless conversation about write offs into two whole hours. Who's writing them off?


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[Assistant] You should have let financial advisors bid to sponsor that episode with an ad at the end asking listeners that they had heard enough to now appreciate the services of a knowledgeable adult.


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[Assistant] That's pretty bad. That's not good. He gave us five stars. Five stars? That's nice. My future father-in-law.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I haven't read it yet, but. Yeah. I will. Well, I mean, he's putting his daughter's life in your hands.


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[Assistant] Well, I think a lot of people are out of the league though. We're normal people that don't know it. As everybody that doesn't know it. So that's why, yeaah, that's a tough one. You should, if these people are so smart, they should listen to go, here's the regular people. You know? So this is what, because guess what? We won.


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[Assistant] Michael Scott, Wayne Gretzky. Uh, you haven't sold yet diamond hands? No, so I haven't lost. You haven't lost. Haven't lost any money. What's it down?


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[Assistant] They're all down. They're all, yeah. Well, you had a good run. I think you really... I did though. Huh? I did though. Well, you stuck it to em. Uh, bet they're, you're sitting here.


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[Assistant] Happy, having fun. That's right. That's a good way of looking at it. Thanks, man. And they were, they were, they lost money. Right. Uh, you, uh, you die-a-tinity. You die-a.


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[Assistant] I've worked on Wall Street since 2014 and Nate's asking all the same questions I've been asking. I mean, see? There you go.


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[Assistant] People just don't want to ask these questions. Everybody wants to be, everybody's so smart, but no one wants to just be like, why does it exist? I don't know, now I'm probably lost on them. They're like, well I didn't ask that.


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[Assistant] Alright, if those ticket holders then go selling your tickets on secondary markets like Craigslist or eBay and the ticket price continues to rise, you will not see any of that money because it is just private people trading amongst themselves. So the short answer is no. When people are buying and selling a company's stock in the market,


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[Assistant] The company does not get any part of the money because they already got paid their lump sum from their initial.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a game outside of it. Yeah. And it's just like scalpers. Game style.


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[Assistant] Uh, issuance. What does that mean? Their initial issuance. Nice way of saying issuing.


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[Assistant] Oh yea, when they issued. Oh, it's a prettier version. So y'all, did y'all use that a lot in your famous?


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[Assistant] Aaron, your buddy that's like, can you pass me the peas? You do that and also say penguin. What are the odds of that guy that says penguin?


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[Assistant] And knows what issuance means. I'm one of a kind, dude.


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[Assistant] You have to put, you know, if you got a large crowd, you're about to do a penguin show. You gotta be like, welcome to the penguin show. You're going to add a little more to it. I think that's the only reason you're- That's true.


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[Assistant] I think if you were just at the zoo and you're like, let's go check out the penguins. I would be like, oh god.


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[Assistant] I was like, how about we not? I don't even know. I would go to it being like, I think we're looking at penguins, but I don't know. That's how I would enter. I would follow them going, where are you guys going?


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[Assistant] I kinda know where we're going. Uh, Whitney Burdett, another missed opportunity to mention Ryan Hamilton's bid on canceling a gym membership.


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[Assistant] I truly love the podcast. My favorite episodes all have the sweet spot combo where Nate goes on an unprovoked straight rant. Aaron starts laughing so hard he can't breathe. And boat ramp has some hilarious one-liners that get ignored. So more of that please. Great job. I like boat ramp. Boat ramp's great. Boat ramp's a good one. Yeah, right.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Uh, he does. Ryan was very funny. Uh, we've got a Netflix special.


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[Assistant] Anyway, James Hodgins, Aaron, please do not cancel your gym membership. I will pay for it if you start using it.


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[Assistant] Also, have you seen a doctor yet for the, for your gout? I only listen to the podcast because I'm concerned about your health. Aaron.


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[Assistant] Is he gonna have to, you got to put your arm on his shoulder as you try to walk down the aisle with your gout.


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[Assistant] You think with your gal, when we all go in to the wedding, you'll already be up there?


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[Assistant] I, uh, yeah, I don't know. I don't have anything else. Uh, but yeah, he, look, he's well paid for it. He's doing good, dude. He's at Ernst & Young.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Did we read the, we'll read the letter. Once you send it, we won't read it till you send it. You gotta send it. Okay. A, alright, so the alien comments. Misguided son. That's the guy's name. Uh, misguided son. It's a family name.


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[Assistant] The bit about having an alien child in space was probably the hardest I've laughed in more than five years.


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[Assistant] Blowfish somehow seemed to keep it together, but I'm glad Aaron was there to wheeze through it with me. Thank you all for being such a bright light in these dark times.


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[Assistant] Nate went on airing for gasping at one of the biggest technical and logical advancements of the two thousands, but it got blown away by an umbrella that solves a minor inconvenience.