[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A commercial airplane, but she was strapped to her seat and she survived. She crashed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think it's just the only one it worked out for. Did she make it out of the rainforest? It took her 10 days and she was very, very big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's still alive. This was like the 1970s and she found some missionaries in the rainforest of South America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's pictures of her, uh, when they found her, but she saw, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously dead bodies that had fallen, that were still strapped to the, uhm, I think her name was Julie Kepke or something like that. Oh my god, did you go to school with her? I was just reading about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she was like, how high up was she? I mean, it was like 22,000 feet or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well the rainforest was the other one. Oh, okay. Ten days through the rainforest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they've made movies and documentaries about her and, um, who took


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think once they found her, then they went back to the crash scene and that's a dead body. No, it's not a dead body. Oh, it's not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She stepped on a camouflage snake. Oh really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the tallest point in Tennessee is Clings, Clingmans Dome. And I think it's about five or 6,000. I think it's about what Denver is. Ooh, I didn't know we had something that hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The airport does. The whole city under there. They're up to a lot in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's, Colorado just has a ton of stuff that's the highest this, the highest that, highest paved road in the U.S. 14,000 feet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Albuquerque. John Albuquerque. My dad and grand dad was named Denver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Country roads. Yeaah, he's saying about a lot of places he's not from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think John Denver was considered not real country. He's kind of like pop country and they didn't like him even back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it that they said in dumb and dumber when he goes the wrong way and it's just flat land? Does he say like that? John Denver was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fun. Yeah, but no, Kim Burns stuff is great. Okay. Tough haircut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The song America's Beautiful was written by Katherine Lee Bates, uh, inspired by her views from the top of Pike's Peak, which I've been to up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one you can drive all the way to the top. So it looks impressive, but you have to do zero work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Gerald Ford. There's been no presidents from Colorado, but Gerald Ford retired to Colorado after he was president. Lived in Vail. In fact, his 13 million dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I would have thought the opposite, the Gerald Ford one, you kind of just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This weekend in Omaha, we were like, who's from here? And they said Gerald Ford. So I guess the guy just got around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're like, who famous is from? I mean, I mentioned Warren Buffett who still lives there and they said, yeah, Gerald Ford's from here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The uh, tire boot, the tire clamp was invented in Denver and sometimes called the Denver boot. I've never heard that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it started there 20, uh, back in 1955 and they made a ton of money from doing this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a friend who lives in Donaldson near Donaldson Christian Academy and he thought it'd be fun to take one of the downtown bird scooters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just out there, just to ride around the neighborhood with his buddies, have fun, and then he was going to bring it back downtown and drop it off. And he said he put it in his truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just a little bit after it got out of town, it started beeping and flashing and they've got all these things set up to keep you from stealing it. And it just locks down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a dentist on the east coast who moved to Colorado Springs, this is in 1901, to set up a dentist shop. When he got there, he noticed that everyone had really brown stained teeth, like, looked like dark chocolate caked on their teeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was like, why does everyone have this brown stains? But, uh, he noticed that tooth decay was not bad at all. Like they had really good strong teeth, no cavities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they did some research, it took a long time to fill out. Colorado Springs has so much fluoride in the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good for your teeth, but then they had to just rake it. They had so much fluoride, it was brown in your teeth. Then they just had to learn how to keep it from coloring your teeth, but also helping your enamel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's like deodorant. There are some that are supposedly like that, take out the bad ingredients, but they may not do everything. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, the continental divide goes through, straight through Colorado. And I didn't even know what that was. Uh, Aaron, tell us what that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, it's basically where the Rocky Mountains is. So where water flows downstream from Canada on the west side of Colorado, that's continental divide. It all will end up in the Pacific ocean on the east side. It all ends up eventually in the Atlantic ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so. I think, um, I mean, to me it looks like as simple as there's large mountain range there. So water's either going to flow one way or the other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's what they tell you, but no, I mean, norads, norads there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the North thing that tracks Santa. Yeaah, that is what it is. North stands for North American... What is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] North American aerospace defense command and to work there, it's in Colorado Springs, you have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] North American Aerospace Defense Command.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this thing is buried deep in a mountain for security reasons, so if you work there...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to take a shuttle bus deep into this mountain. They have all kinds of stuff in there. You can, I mean, people leave, but you can't just leave at work to go run errands. So they have a gym, they have a grocery store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have all these conveniences deep in this mountain, because once you go in,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not leaving until it's time to leave. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it, yeaah, I wonder if, yeaah, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And before 9-11, you could take tours of it, but since 9-11, you can't. They won't let civilians in there to see what's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's, you know, there's conspiracy theories that they could have stopped 9-11, but chose not to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if they chose not to or they think they were just inadequate, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Supposedly they can survive a nuclear attack or anything because they're so deep in this mountain. Ah, good for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the last Indiana Jones movie, he survived a nuclear explosion by climbing into a refrigerator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Denver Airport is the largest airport in the U.S. by landmass. 33,000 acres. Has the longest runway in the U.S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some people believe it's home of the New Order and Neo-Nazi headquarters, which we've already covered on here. And Blue Sufer, the Mustang out front, the guy who built it, it fell on him and killed him. So they think it's haunted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the Supermax prison is in Colorado where the world's most dangerous criminals are brought. Including El Chapo. It's called Alcatraz of the Rockies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's 344 inmates there right now. 23 hour a day, confined to a single cell. And, uh, if you guys have the choice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you want it your own single sale or do you want a roommate? I can buy myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, everybody at one time they had one row they called Bombers Row because they had Terry Nichols, Oklahoma City bomber. Ramsey Youssef did the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] World Trade Centers in 93, Eric Rudolph and Ted Kaczynski, all in the same row. But the Boston Bombers there now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They turned their back for a second and they killed him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. So you're just playing the odds. Yeah. I mean, what are we talking about? Two, three months tops. Yeah. He's going to go quick. It's probably not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember that one game back in 97? Yeah. Corey Davis. Yeah, it'd get old quick for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get one hour free time. I think they are incentives to, if you have good


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I was going to mention a little bit Colorado sports.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also the world's most precise clock is in, at the University of Colorado. The old record, it would lose a second every 100 million years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this guy invented one that will lose a second every 15 billion years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's, I mean, that's a good question. He won, he spent three million dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he split a three million dollar prize money for developing this clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That he says won't lose a second for 15 billion years, which is longer than even scientists say the universe has existed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's the science behind it's totally different. So however he came up with it, yes, no one obviously can prove it's going to do that, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The science they use says it should last that long. He did it in a way no one's ever done it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now how he did it, I don't know. Something about atoms and vibrating and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I did want to mention this. This is conspiracy theory. United Airlines flight 585, uh, was going from Denver to Colorado Springs in 1991, crash, killed everyone on board, 25 people on board. So the conspiracy theory was that the pilot and the co-pilot was a woman, was having an affair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he told her, the pilot told her on the flight he wanted to end it. And she got so upset that she grabbed an axe, killed him, and then crashed the plane into the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I got that backwards. He killed her. Oh. And crashed the plane to the ground. Now, they think this rumor...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did research and there was something wrong with the playing the rudder. They think this rumor was conspiracy theories con-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, made up by Boeing themselves. Oh, because they want you to know. Boeing was being sued.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, they wouldn't even admit their plane was messed up. They're like, no, there's nothing wrong with our planes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all the major sports teams that are in Denver, uh, Broncos have won eight AFC championships and three Super Bowls and shared the record for most Super Bowl losses, five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tied with the Patriots, you wouldn't have thought that, but they've been so much that they've lost some. So Tim Tebow is your favorite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the Falcons, and uh, he's an unrestricted free agent, so he's just trying to make the team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he led the defense in total plays, total snaps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. There's a Seinfeld where George is like Herbert and Herbert A-Bear. I think it went by A-Bear, but it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, but I will say that the University of Colorado football team won the national championship in 1990.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had two things that really, really went their way. The biggest being the fifth down game. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, that's wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, the refs forgot to change the marker and they got, they got another down and they scored a touchdown to win the game because of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's the, that's one of the most famous screw ups in college football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Osborne was, was the guy and when he left, he's just never been the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, in Colorado and then in the Fiesta Bowl, and this is before obviously the BCS where the Polars just decide who's going to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] National championship as far as who they reward it to, but in the fiesta belt, no, sorry, the orange bowl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, with 43 seconds left, they were playing Notre Dame. Rocket Ishmael returned a 92 yard punt that would have won the game for Notre Dame, but then there was a clipping penalty. So they negated it. Colorado won 10-9 and was, I think, given a share of the national championship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'd forgotten the Rockies went to the World Series. But they did one year, got swept by the Red Sox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Avalanche, I think their first year as a team, they won the Stanley Cup. Yeah, they've been good. They won it this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm home this weekend, but I got some big shows coming up in Missouri and Springfield, Missouri. I'm going to be at, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Corner Pocket comedy show at Billiards, it's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm going to be at Helium, September, that's September 15th and September 16th, 17th I'm at Helium in St. Louis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life is busy and your well-being is important. Athletic Greens makes it so easy to get the vitamins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With just one scoop. Athletic green. You need athletic greens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Athletic Greens has given you a free 1 year supply of Immune Supporting Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate for a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. That's AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there was about a rephrase my sophomore year in high school where, or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I stopped there for two weeks. It didn't work like I thought. Alright, you're back. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found a picture of me at a Vanderbilt football game. I don't know, that's probably high school or something like that. And there's a lot of people in stands behind me. And I thought, what if I look back there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I saw Nate, like a young Nate. You ever think about that? Like there's probably people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we know we've been at the same games before. We probably crossed paths and didn't even know it. It's been kinda crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe if I put in, uh, left-handed wires under my car. Squirrels. Couldn't get to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably just call themselves Michael usually, but he stuck with it. Maybe there is a lot of Michelangelo's, but they go by Michael.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's some truth to that, but I don't think that's how they did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's not nine left-handed people they were surveying. It used to be ten. So now they're only asking nine people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you left handed? They're probably doing a higher number to get that percentage, but yeah, now it's according to him, it's increasing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It probably is because they're not doing like they did to your dad. It makes sense that Michael.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The great thing about putting these on the screen is the people at home can finish this way ahead of time and just sit back and see what happens. I thought some people didn't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I used to be a driver. I would try to match whatever energy they had. If they wanted to talk, I would try to talk. If they didn't, but I would try to follow their lead. You never took the lead with it. Okay. No, because some people, I think most people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, most people don't want to talk, uhm, and I didn't want to talk, but some people, like Dusty Dust, they think it's awkward not to talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taking athletic greens a few months ago, none of us ate healthy. Uh, Nate's now eating very healthy. You've, uh, obviously been eating healthy last year or so or more so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. So I'm the one that's dragging here, but I do have athletic greens in the morning and it is healthy for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I kind of crave it now. One scoop of powder with water, shake it up, drink, ready to go. Travel packs are great when we're on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can do it anywhere you go, easily pour into a bottle of water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now it's trying to come to time to reclaim your health when.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And help your immune system with convenient daily nutrition, especially with cold and flu season. Just one scoop of cup of water every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it, no need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And to make it easy now, Athletic Green is giving you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate. Again, that's AthleticGreens.com slash Nate to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great book. I read it. Skip chapter four about a sex life. But besides that, uh, just everything else is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy. I mean it's crazy. Mine was down at Stardom in Birmingham or Hoover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That courtyard by Marriott, I think. Still there. Still the hotel. Seemed better days, but back then it was really nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can probably use that doing taxes or looking up something. If you can't, or a bill, you can't remember why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Guinness Book of World Record for most key cards is 922.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, if I ever told you that I keep a journal, it makes me feel better than say diary, but I've been keeping it since 1995. Wow. And I write in it every night. So I've, that's what, 27 years? Wow. And I look back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was doing a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, every five years, 15, 20, 25, see what I was doing. That's awesome. Yeah. Saddest book ever written. It just progressively gets worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it makes you realize though, things that were so important to you at the time just don't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean just, just what I did. I don't write about my thoughts and feelings. I just really write down what I did that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, we're gonna go do a radio interview when we leave here. I'll add that as well. Just stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's certain events in my life, sure, that I write, like when I had a baby and stuff like that, but 15 years ago is when I started comedy, so now when I look back each night, often it's like, just some, first time I did Zany's, first time I did...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll be a few years later and I'll get paid for a gig.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, one thing about your key card, if you're going to set the world record that could deter you, is a lot of hotels now are going to digital key cards. Have you done this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I stay at hotels usually where 50% of the time my key card's not going to work because it's next to my phone and I have to go back to the front desk. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron and I came in a friend who just got bed bugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know this, but a lot of hotels track their towels. They put a microchip in their towels and they know where their towels go. And if you take it- Is that true?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hotel Lennon's was just disappearing. Not just for people stealing it, but just various things. The staff just, it just disappeared and it was costing them so much money they started tracking them by putting these little chips in them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree with that. I'd always wondered what happened to the hotel soap that, you know, we use just a little bit and what do they do with it. There's an organization called Clean the World that collects all the hotel soaps. They melt them down and repurpose them and send them to like third world countries and places in need that don't have soap. So they're using our old soap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I guess they melt it down and, I mean, the soap that we used was, I guess, one on our bodies and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think they melted down and repurposed it and kind of, uh, but it's just, it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's crazy about it. I read that don't, most people will put their luggage on their bed as soon as they walk in a hotel room, but they said don't do that because if there is bed bugs, then now they're in your luggage and you'll bring them home with you. They said put your luggage, what he does, put it in the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, of the two of you, I would have guessed Dusty would have been more likely the one that had bed bugs. I think Dusty could currently live with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, since the, uh, after the Las Vegas shooting, most hotels now, even if you have the don't disturb sign on your door, after 72 hours, they're gonna go in, make sure everything's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read that like leave your TV on just to deter people breaking into your hotel room. If they think you might.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason they use white bedsheets is they say it gives a halo effect that makes the room seem more new and brighter and also the towels are white so they can put them all in the same washing machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I stayed at a comedy condo once where it was just so bad and I got there and they had forgotten to clean it for the weekend and it was still the last person stuffed there. So I thought, good, finally they're going to put me in a hotel room. So I called and said, Hey, this, this wasn't cleaned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was already at my stuff in there, but while I was on stage, they were cleaning it up and they were not going to let me go to a hotel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when I lived not where, not where I live now, so the squirrels weren't an issue. My condo, and then I've twice stayed in New York City. I stayed, did it for two weeks, one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing that's going away from hotels is Gideon Bibles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gideon Bibles used to be in every hotel room, but now millennials are the least religious group.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, going and they're trying to attract more millennial travelers, so they're taking them out of hotel rooms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now the Gideons say a quarter of the people who stay in hotel rooms look at their Bible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Gideon was a character in the Bible. Okay. And then Gideon International is just a character. Person in the Bible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a, uh, hotel in South Korea where 1,600 people had been secretly filmed and they were live streaming it online. And some people were paying $45 for a monthly fee to, to watch this. The site had over 4,000 members before it was busted. And, uh, just kind of a crazy thing that they, police said they heard of secret


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Videoing but never live streaming where people could watch it. They're fine with the videoing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they're not fine with it, but it's just like a new level. I started thinking, can you imagine you could pay $45 to watch this pay-per-view?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that one in Minneapolis was like multiple levels, that target.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He offered, he's like, I'll put you on my companion pass. I'm like, this will be great. And he's like, oh, I'm sorry. Can't do it. I couldn't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was into it. That's not the reason you gave me, but okay. What was the reason? You said the fight was full.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm doing, I think American there and Delta back. Yeah. Flights are incredibly expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last week we looked at it had 80 followers. Now it's like, uh, 300 something. Oh, that's good. That's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I live close to a couple of your buddies, Shay and John.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did want to ask before we go if you and Dusty's opinion on that image from the Amarillo Zoo, what that was walking around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. Oh, the wolf man? Yeah. Oh man. Could be a wolf man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Factor is the perfect meal time solution for an on the go lifestyle or any lifestyle really. They're fresh, never frozen meals are delivered ready to heat and eat in two minutes or right away if you eat it cold. So I can fuel up fast and get on with my day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole audience was quiet and I go, wow, you really killed the energy of the show. I was like, you ruined the whole show. And I was being funny with it, uh, because I always say the show's ruined or things are going wrong. I mean, half my act is saying it's not going well. And, uh, and then he sat there for a long time and then he left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I mean, like he left on like the last 15 minutes and then I made jokes about him leaving and then he came up to me in the merch line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said he got so upset with me. And uh, we talked, we talked it out and it was fine, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, he was so mad. I don't know what happened. Did you say hey bear when he left?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where I just talk. Yeah. And uh, but they were like, you should do a podcast. And it's like, they were such fans, but I'm like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, maybe clicked on the link in my bio and see that I have two going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we used to, me and my buddies just listened to Pink Floyd, like we would break it down. Like it was our life. We got too into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I've gotten way too into song lyrics before, and then I like started to meet and get to know musicians and I'm like, yeah, this maybe doesn't mean anything. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well, um, she, yeah, yeah, it does. You asked him about it, right? But yeah, she can't say that anymore as a song. It's like a cheating song, but Brian thought that at the end that, uh, the guy kills the woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I asked John Connolly and he laughed. He said, no, I don't think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all Adam Sandler's movies are like the hero's journey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's like, it is, it's like that same formula. Everyone is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, guy not doing well, accomplishes something, then has a big failure and then wins in the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Happy Gilmore, it's Victoria Venet, two Vs. Little Nicky, I forget the name, but it's two Vs. And then, uh, Waterboy, it's Vicky Vallancourt, two Vs. And I think there's some others. Uh, so what's going on with that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? What does that mean? What is the two beans all about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? So, you just hear it a bunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But do you remember like the moment you thought of this? I don't know if I remember the moment. I've been talking about it for a while. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Alright. Yeaah, let me see you do a crochet pattern. Yeaah. And then you can do surgery on me. Yeaah. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think the teacher, I don't remember altogether, but I think the teacher had come to earth and was like, I'm going to get in here and, uh, you know, manipulate these kids. I don't think that's what it's about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was always blank for me. You know what I mean? That's not what we called it. Called it blank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty? Right? You know, I never was a cheater. Uh, I would just fail the test, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard that Snopes was just two people looking up stuff. I don't know if that's true, but I'm like, I trust it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I like how Marquee is like, I wasn't interested in college and then he took it twice. I wasn't interested in college either and I didn't take it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so hard though, like I put out a joke about five o'clock somewhere and I just have a joke about, uh, say, uh, it's only half past 12, but I don't care. Uh, it's five o'clock somewhere and I'm like, but that's not true. You know, it may, it, you know, it may be five 30 somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we don't lose a half hour just cause you changed time zones. And man, did the, did the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thankfully their arguments though bumps it up in the algorithm and it gets more views because they're arguing about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that, you know, my wife is at home with a baby and these meals are just sitting there in the fridge and she can just pop it in the oven. You can do it in the microwave, but I'm pretty anti-microwave. She'll put it right in the oven, heat it right up and it tastes great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And her and the baby can eat one meal and be full. And that's all I'll let them have all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they, uh, they love it. I mean, Factor is great. I like it. Factor makes lunch or dinner on busy days, a total breeze. Their fresh, never frozen meals are delivered ready to eat and heat in two minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Factor now offers 30 plus meals per week and 33 plus add-on options like smoothies, juices, and snacks. The smoothies are great too. I had one, I left for the weekend, came home, was like, hey, where are those smoothies? My wife was like, I ate them all. So it was very disappointing. Uh, but she loved them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was always the big kid. They always wanted it to be the big kid when I was playing. And it's like, does that make him better at keeping the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always felt like the people that I knew that liked soccer were people that like used to follow the band Fish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yelling, screaming. Yeah. I'm into it. I was like, that's my mom. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw, I was listening to Finebomb one time and they had had a guest, uh, guest host, I guess the week before. And, and that guest host was still in with Finebomb and people would just call in and just trash that guy. And I'm like, he's still in the room here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, take it. They were like, he was talking about music. We want to talk about football. And it's like, the guy was, you know, he's talking about what he knows, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, now they capture it on the radio though and put it on Twitter. Yeah, that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Alright, okay, now we're talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's really good. According to this. That's a good one. I like the Wilson County CPAPs. They're all great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is worth it. I'm against gambling, but that's worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of them's gonna be wrong. I mean, no offense, but I think Vanderbilt's really bringing that down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, imagine if you put that effort into just a career. Yeah. What, what, what might happen? Phil's doing all right. Well, Phil, yes, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know what you're talking about. Well, that's the thing. When you're a musician, you're like, you, you, you play a song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody claps for you and then in between songs, you'll drop a little joke and everybody laughs. And now you think that you're hilarious because the pressure's off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then after like four or five times, he slipped in another song. Yeah. Just so they would all go, ah, and after that he played it again. And where are they at? Just some diner. Oh, a diner. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that you go in there and it's empty and you take the bar seat. I would for sure get them both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not the time for an Instagram story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I bet so. Why would you go somewhere else to play online?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And you want to gamble registered though. And yeah, I don't know. I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's what I used to do growing up. You know, in Alabama you had to be 19 to buy cigarettes and we didn't have lottery in Alabama. So when we were 18, we would drive to Georgia and buy lottery tickets and cigarettes. Oh, you can go back to the trailer and scratch them off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like even featuring in clubs, I remember featuring and people would come up to me sometimes and they would go, Oh man, you should have been the headliner. And it's like, well, the headliner is not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they put in the work, they're there. I'm happy to be where I'm at, but it's like, they would go, oh, and they act like they're keeping me from doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could say about, about people, you know, I don't necessarily need people to come down and see me go up, but I, I know you talked about this a bit, but it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seeing people that are above you and then just on your own, suddenly you're like past them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feel sorry for that person. Also be like, Oh, I always thought they were so funny. I wish that their career was going better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There also is, uh, scenarios where for me, like back in Charleston, I used to try to help people. Like they would ask me to help them write or whatever. I remember one guy in particular asked me to meet up with him and help him write. So I was working with him and I was just trying to get him to clean it up a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he tried it clean a couple of times and then one set he was like on stage and they just like, he was like, Oh, people always try to tell me to be clean all the time. I was, you know, he's like, Oh, but they don't have a late night. They're not on the tonight show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think about that guy sometimes and I think, hmm, I wonder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they would like do some weird religious joke or, or political joke. And I would be like, all right, I won. I just won because they just divided the audience with their, and I'd be like, all right, they had them and then, and then I would win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you have to, I mean, that was the hardest thing about COVID was like for, in that matter of like, we, there's nowhere to perform. And it was like, Oh man. I mean, I guess the other thing was that everybody had to stop, but it's also like, you don't get better at comedy, not doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And lots of people that I grew up around were like, don't do that, man. What are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I just was like, needed a change. So I made that move and then quitting my job that was a full time job with benefits and all of these things and then selling my car also


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, all gambles and then, you know, I got married too, which I do think getting married is a gamble to a degree because you're like, uh, agreeing to, to be intertwined with this person, hoping that they're just going to keep going along with the stuff you believe in for my wife. That's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so now, and that's even quitting drinking for me was like, you basically lose all your friends. There's some that are still around, but it's like, so now your horizons are broadened because you're like, you have to find new friends. You have to find new things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was two years ago. I remember seeing you at Bobby's Idol Hour the first time, open mic, being like, dang, this guy's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's still time. But it's like, even when I left my hometown, it's like, if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, if this doesn't work out, I just can go back. It's not like the door's closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and also every employee is guaranteed one day off a week. Right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they know what day it is. So they, if you're friends with people that you work with, you can get together on Sunday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never gotten Chick-fil-A and been like, oh, this is not that good today. But I have gotten Hardee's the other day and been like, what's going on here? There was a Hardee's by my trailer park growing up and I used to eat, we used to eat there like, I don't know, four times a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had hearties the other day, I was like, oh man. I was like, this is disgusting, and I still kept eating it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think in college they were like, you're, did you, what did you, plagiarize the post office?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, people love to be like, don't do the out of the main, uh, out of the lines, don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a boss, he used to go, keep doing what you're doing, keep getting what you're getting. Right? And, and so I always thought about that and it's like, if you don't like what you're getting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta switch it up, right? So when I wanted to quit the pesticide job, people were like, don't do it. I would not do it in this economy. That's what everybody always says. And I'm like, yeah, but I'm terribly unhappy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But they wanted me to keep it because it was, uh, there was money in it, but I'm like, I hate this. It's the same story as Elon, just a little different setting. I mean, I had, you know, maybe $35. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty cool. Betting on your son. Yea, that's fun. I'd like to hear about some that didn't work out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's rigged against you, you know, so when you start winning, they want to get you out of there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. I'll be, as this podcast is coming out, I'll be tonight at Zany's in Nashville, this weekend Jacksonville Comedy Zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, all gonna be great. I want to say I had a great weekend in Greensboro, North Carolina. I had gone there in 2016 and I did not have a good time and I've been talking trash about the club since then, but I want to say it was a complete turnaround. Love the club and thanks to everyone that watched and shared my five o'clock somewhere video. I appreciate that. Yeah, I got a lot of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it did really well. Jimmy Buffett. Jimmy Buffett, Alan Jackson, um, Trace Adkins, Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, lots of John Chris, Lee Ann Morgan. They all shared it for me. Very nice. There are lots of people I forgot, but yeah, I shared it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I-I-I dated a girl where I literally broke a piece of furniture. She had a three- I broke a piece of furniture in her upstairs, on the main floor, and then in her basement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like patio furniture's like, alright, this one feels safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then by the time I was, I was just sitting there, I watched one whole season of The Wire and then I got up and the chair just never sat right ever again. It was just, it would just leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And with a special taping, you know how our audience coordinator is for showtime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they had like a whole coordinator thing I had to, I had a hat on with a logo on it so I had to turn it around backwards. And they just have plastic chairs because it was in some place in Brooklyn. And I was, I was sitting there the whole time and I was with Emma Willman, who's another funny comic. And I was sitting next to her and, uh, we're sitting there watching and all of a sudden I'm laughing and he says a punch line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That it's just so, it was so funny. And I leaned back and I could feel the legs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of do this, like just this number. And I was like, oh, oh no. Cause now I'm thinking, if this thing snaps, they're going to have to stop everything. Cause also you've been in enough specials where you're like, this is it. This is the one that he's getting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, they would have to stop the whole thing. They'd have to move me out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get a whole nother chair for continuity. Like I'm just like, it's a whole thing. So literally I'm just sitting here the whole time. Just like, please, please for 30 minutes. I was, I was praying so hard. Just please do not let this break because that would be the nightmare scenario.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no no, it helped, but it's like, even when I got up, when I got up, I looked, and you ever seen like a plastic, like the stress marks? Yea. Like the front, like it started to tear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we stayed at the same condo. There was a comedy condo at a place that remained nameless, cause Aaron headlines there now. Yea. But you can't even...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll just, we'll just sign your checks back over. Yeah, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well how did you do the, did you ever go to like the stadiums where they have like the troughs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I've done it in traffic, like when you're at a standstill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, I'm using gridlock and you're just like, listen, I, I was like, I skipped. You get out of the car. I skipped. I mean, you're, you're, you can't go anywhere. You're in the middle of traffic. It's deadlocked. And it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cuz like if you drive, like if you do like road gigs-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, when it happens, it always happens at like the worst situation. You're like, oh, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like a nicer truck stop. Like I'm from Oklahoma, so like, I always stop at Loves. Cause I like, I have to keep the money, I have to keep the money in Oklahoma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm telling you, we gotta, you gotta keep it, we gotta keep it tight. We gotta keep it with our people. I like it. And so I'm like, oh, there's always like a love's 20 miles away. And then I just hit like, there's like a horrible accident 10 miles up. So all the lanes are stopped because you have like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I remember I had to stop. I had to pee. So you're just, you just gotta open both doors and just be like, just make sure there's no kids around. Hey, listen, we gotta do what we gotta do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think, I think the one thing, it was really funny, there was a, there was, there was a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well sometimes I open my trunk, like I open my door and I act like I'm looking for something, and then I open the back one, so that creates my cover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I go open the trunk, like, man, where is that, like, like, the, the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever parents are with their kids maybe, I like to give them plausible deniability. I'm like, oh no, he's just looking for something. I know it looks like he's doing this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the worst part about being recognized. You think like, oh maybe they've seen me on TV, they know me from like a thing, a show, something very popular. Did I see you walking on the highway, smoking a cigarette, carrying bags?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also the owner of the club. That is true. That's the owner of the club's name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but it's Christopher, so you're like, maybe you put the M in there, it's like, that'll


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like all of them, all of them were, but that, we got it on the first shot, which was unbelievable. Like that's the best feeling in the world cause now you just get to play around. But it was, I mean it was magic. That room, that room. When's it gonna come out? Uh, we're thinking June.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just love, I just love it when people correct, like that's something that happened, cause I grew up around FFA people in Oklahoma, so the people are like, no, no, no, listen. It's a calf. What is it? Like what? FFA. What is that? Future Farmers of America. Oh yea. They have, they wear the blue corduroy jacket. Did you know that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you guys don't know about Future Farmers of America? I do not. I mean, you guys are living under our rock. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta make sure the time, it doesn't, you know, you don't time stamp yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I certainly didn't know we're from health, that's for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just love, I just love that somebody's like, oh, Nate always tries to sound smart. It's like, oh, well man, I have four specials for you that just go the other way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't, you don't use the vocabulary. Which kinda like, people go, oh, well he doesn't know the thing, so he doesn't know. Like, no, no, no, I know how to, how people trick people, how people move people. Like, you know all those things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know how those things work. You also know how to be super competitive. You know how to better your, like, you know all those things. So you know how to get there, you just don't know how to say it the way that they want you to say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's having cereal and you're like, hey, what do I do with this? I don't know, you just go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, can you imagine putting your heart and soul into a project just spending hours and hours? I mean, there's a marketing firm that just like, this is it. This is the name. It's clean. It looks so good. It's palindromic. And then just all of a sudden you're just like, well, guess what guys?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know the thing where like, this is the only thing that could stop this? Well it has.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fonts are different. The branding is much different. Is that purple? There's not a Toyota pickup anywhere near our campaign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, you just produced a show where you hung out with comedians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean like, how scatterbrained do you have to be? First of all, I mean, just to get a slap, I mean, just if the wiring in your brain is all there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to have to continue to just keep like, alright, I gotta get back into the joke that I was starting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also crazy, there's no security. None. I watched a clip today of TD Jakes on Instagram and I looked in the background and there's like five security guards around him. There's like three in the front row, like three guys in the back. I'm like, how?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does a pastor in Dallas who's around church people have more security?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's also not an angry, like, you're not thinking, oh, like, he's a funny guy on screen, so you're like, oh, he's gonna do a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm even cool with you being like that on the way to the set, but on the way home, like, can't, just switch it off, just, switch it off and sleep and let's start it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at all the hotels, hotels in Vegas. Oh yeah. Did you forget this guy's Hot Wheel collection? Did you forget that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm so excited, I'm so excited about this. You're pumped about it. I, I mean, as a kid I was both ninjas and samurais. Yeah. For Halloween. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went a little further than probably a kid at that age should have gone. I was real excited about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, probably age, probably one, cause like younger, younger you're a ninja, cause you think it's really cool. But then like, you get older, and you're like, I'm gonna be like a mature, like a samurais, feels very mature, and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember dressing up as the same Ryan, somebody look at me and be like, it's about time. Like, they don't say it, but it's like that first time they were like, hey, it's about time to hang this up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they're compact, like the whole thing is like they're compact and tiny and they're supposed to be acrobatic. That's like the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the whole thing with the ninjas, they're supposed to be very like, uh, it's like stealthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chase this dream, we gotta paint over all the thrown star marches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know a lot about that. That becomes a very broad term as history goes on. Cause like we, like there's, there's like ninjas now and it's very like, there's like American ninjas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like there's like, uh, like they take the kind of the basics of it and then they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, just to basically sell karate classes. Like that's where it morphs into that. But like, uh, one of the most famous dudes, did you see the movie Bloodsport?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a movie about this guy named Frank, uh, Dukes? I've heard of it. Yeaah. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yeaah. But it was basically, it's, it's one of the most amazing stories. Yeaah. Cause he, he gets in this Hollywood people's ear and tells him this story about how he fought in this underground, full contact thing called a kumite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where like people die and it's crazy and wild and basically it's like MMA so you have all these styles. You have like Muay Thai and you have Sumo. There's no weight classes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he tells this story about how he was like a world champion, he was never beaten. He had like the fastest knockdown time, the fastest knockout. Uhm, he beat like 156 guys in a row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's, it's, it's one of the wildest, craziest things. And he looks like, he literally looks like the guy from Napoleon Dynamite, you know, when they go and study with the guy with American flag pants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The movie's amazing. The movie's incredible. It's literally one of the best bad guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a, it's called a death touch is what it's called. He does this thing where they, it's like a stack of bricks and they pick a brick and he's able to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, spoiler alert. He's able to, I think he already did it. He's able to smash, he's able to hit the brick, the pile of bricks and make the brick that they pick explode. It's like a whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, in the movie, but like they, at the end of the movie, it's like, it's based off of a guy, so like, you know the thing where like, Frank, you know like, at the end of a bio, like a biopic, they're like, this is what he did, this is all the things that like, there's this long screen of all the records and stuff that he holds, basically saying like it's a real thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That had fought, like hey, if you beat 156 guys and this tournament goes like every four years, like it's a very secretive thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, I feel like we know a few people. So he made up the fight. Made up the whole thing. Yeah, yeah. And then he comes over after the movie and has this like, he has like a fighting system that he sold to all these people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'ma tell you something, after watching that movie, you're like, I mean, I would, I'd sit in on a class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kicking and punching and yeaah. I mean like Muay Thai is kind of stand up too, but that's a lot of knees and ankles and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jiu-Jitsu is all about shifting weight. That's where it all comes, it's like the combination of Jiu-Jitsu and wrestling. It's just like movement, you know, and momentum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Muay Thai is more stand up. Muay Thai and kickboxing. And karate. I mean like straight up karate is like that too.


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[Assistant] But that's more on the ground, like that's more grappling. Jiu Jitsu is.


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[Assistant] What's the one that the Israeli army uses? What's the... You know what I'm talking about?


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[Assistant] No, no, no, they, they have like a problem. That's what it is. Okay. That's like a whole thing. Yeah. We're like, they, you learn that stuff. And so it's like, it makes people like really, like even like, uh, like Israeli women, like that's the one thing they're like, they're really, really vicious because they all learn it from like a very young age.


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[Assistant] Just, just Nate pulls up his t-shirt and there's just a yellow belt under there.


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[Assistant] Uh, I did at one point. Those are college days though. Was it all about honor and courage?


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[Assistant] It's embarrassing how many, like, I used to watch, uh, before football games, I was a, I was, it's something you learn when you're, when you do like Christian, you know, Christian pastors and stuff love clips, like video clips, I love them. And, uh, so when I, when I would,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody ever brings that point up. That they're not wearing clothes. That's the ultimate, they're the ultimate concealant is a show.


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[Assistant] I bet you it's like a godfather thing. Remember how you leave the horse head in the bed? Like I can get to you at any moment. Almost like an intimidation. Like if you're trying to get somebody to do something, that's what I would do.


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[Assistant] I think that's the weird ques- like nobody's asking that question, like, I don't- I don't think I've ever met a sorcerer. And y'all got 300 of them?


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[Assistant] Well, how do you know? First of all, if you're ringing the doorbell, how do you know that it's, I mean, they don't have the ring camera.


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[Assistant] I just don't, I don't understand, like, if you steal somebody's pillow, you don't ring a door, like, I don't know why you would draw attention to yours, like, that's not very ninja at all.


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[Assistant] A samurai, I'm also a big fan, like the, uh, bigger swords, lots of armor.


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[Assistant] They're like, it's a, it's a big, like, it's a big honor thing. It's basically like, if, uh,


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[Assistant] If comedy was ninja and samurai, ninjas would be improv people and samurai would be stand up comedians. They don't like each other.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're, they just buy, well because samurais are very like, they're like, there's like, like a lot, lots of lineage. Like a military. No, no, it's like lineage. It's like a, it's like a ancestry. There's lots of blood, like there's all these big things. Um, there's lots of honor, there's codes, um, and they're, and they kind of fight for one goal, a tribe, and they have a code.


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[Assistant] And ninjas are kinda like, not that. They're peasants, they're, uhm, that's why a lot of times, like, the ninjas will fight and learn with weird weapons.


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[Assistant] Because a lot of them are like farming weapons. Like that's where they start and they've just modified them to be able to.


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[Assistant] Climb walls, throw, like little throwing knives, you know, uhm, a lot of times, uh, they're like gardening tools. Like when you see ninja weapons, a lot of times they're, they're really like, you see like the three hook thing, the claw, like is like a, kind of like a hoe. So it's like, that's what it is, it's all like kind of, they learned how to use


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[Assistant] Like, they, they, like they make tea and stuff like that. And, uh, they do, like they, like, like artists are very, uh, they, they do like calligraphy and stuff. It's crazy, it's a whole thing.


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[Assistant] I mean, I like to think that the samurai are stand-ups. You know, because we think we're better than everybody else. Because we are.


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[Assistant] No, not a chance. I mean, I can read them, but I don't know if they're correct.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I'm working on it. I mean, I got, I got, my applications are in.


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[Assistant] Most samurais. Trying to remake Oceans 8. Yeaah. You just, this is, it's already there. It's in history.


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[Assistant] Cause there's like a, like a lot of times they followed like a warlord or something like that. So if the warlord dies, you're supposed to, you know, not exist anymore.


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[Assistant] So, but if you decide to not have honor and do that, then you can become a ninja and become a...


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[Assistant] Yeah, so like you, it's kinda like you have one guy, you have houses. So there's one guy who's kind of in charge. Mafia?


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[Assistant] I mean, yeaah. I mean, both are not incorrect.


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[Assistant] I mean, I would, I wouldn't have started with Harry Potter. I maybe would have started with, uh, Greek life. That's maybe how I would have described it.


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[Assistant] Was it a Catholic high school? Yeaah. So, I mean, how were you guys, did they even have it in the library?


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[Assistant] I mean, we were, I'm in Oklahoma, they were real sketch, like, you know, we've got witchcraft coming in here. We're, we're dicey, you know? We love it.


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[Assistant] I mean, I just feel like it's a translation issue, honestly. You know, I've, I've, you know, you, you know, if, if you've been around religion, Greek, to English, to Old English, you know, maybe you've just been like, hey, I like birds. And it's just a, we're just, maybe he wasn't good at calligraphy.


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[Assistant] I mean, I don't know if you read the comment section of any, any anything, but not great.


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[Assistant] But it's like, I think if you, if you had stuff out of context, you would think, like, if you see like magicians, you're like, oh, like, you see a magician, you know, be in a place where he's like, oh, he's in a, he's in a cloth, you know, bucket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With swords coming down and then all of a sudden he's the, you know, the knives come down and he's not in the bucket, he's in the back of the theater. You go, oh, he's a shapeshifter. You're like, nah, he's just, he's just good with...


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[Assistant] I'm just saying, I mean, it's just, it's, listen, I, I, I've scared people before.


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[Assistant] I don't think you really have to ask what the warlord wants to do. I feel like it's in the game.


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[Assistant] I mean I feel like they're more like, it's like muscle. They're like the guy's like...


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[Assistant] Most of the time they're military people, so they already have, like, I feel like they'd have control. Cause like, they're like the highest guy, so it's...


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[Assistant] If you own, if you run the military, then you kinda control the country.


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[Assistant] Uh, I, I mean, honestly, Bloodsport is absolutely one of my favorite movies. I mean, it's, we gotta watch it. We'll watch it on the bus. I mean, I'm a huge fan. Uhm, I would say Ninja Turtles, the first one, is a good one, also.


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[Assistant] Uh, honestly, like a, like a real good, other than Tom Cruise being in it, uh, The Last Samurai is a really good depiction.


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[Assistant] Oh yea, well it's like, but like, but basically what they did was they found that thing where it's like only four people, the thing that you read where it's like only four people have become ninjas, like and they go, oh well let's just write a story about that guy and just make that guy Tom Cruise.


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[Assistant] The whole thing is he's an American soldier and he adopts into the culture.


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[Assistant] It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a good, it's very, it's a very good movie. I like it very much. But I think any movie that shines a light on native culture.


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[Assistant] That's one of the reasons I love that Taylor Sheridan is doing so good right now because he's a big, you know, he's a big advocate for native people.


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[Assistant] He does Yellowstone. Oh yeaah. But he did, he wrote Hell or High Water, and then he did, uhm, what's the movie? I just watched it. With, uh, Jeremy Renner in it. There you go. Uhm, but it's... Wow. Kicking the teeth right there.


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[Assistant] You get sentimental around Nate for five seconds. That's why, that's why, that's why I know he would be great at jiu jitsu if he ever did it. Just like, what's his, has he opened his heart up just a little bit?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I live here now. I'm a national.


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[Assistant] You don't wear camo? Oh yeaah. Like, but is it? We got a Bass Pro Shop, we got, I mean, big Walmarts, you know, we love, we love the, Mossy Oak is our, is the brand.


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[Assistant] That's a rock. That's a rock dress.


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[Assistant] We do have unique rocks. Yeaah. There's a thing, there's a rock in Oklahoma that you can only find in Oklahoma and it's called a rose rock.


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[Assistant] But it's like, it only grows in a certain part of Oklahoma, but it's like, it literally looks like a rose, like it's crazy. Oh wow, that's crazy.


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[Assistant] They're gonna be watching it for last night, that's for sure.


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[Assistant] Uh, just with comedy on Instagram. Uh, do you have a website? Yeah, yeah, I do, but I'm, I'm, I'm needing to redo it. So that's why I was waiting to move here and then hopefully find a good natural guy.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, when you write, you just write and then it smears everything and then people go, your handwriting is terrible. And I'm like, no, I just, well it is, but I just smeared it and then it's all along here. Yeah. You know, I'm left handed too.


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[Assistant] No, the desk in school would have the nice armrest for right hand and then we're like this, right? I don't know why, but that seems to, cause I'm sure you're coming around like this.


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[Assistant] I don't know, you know, but you feel smarter when you're left handed.


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[Assistant] Well, the worst is like when you're a kid and you're at a friend's house and they're like, Hey, you want to play baseball, but you didn't bring your glove. So now you got this glove and you're like having to throw right handed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, well, that's what you have to do. I could always catch or whatever. I don't know what hand it is. I guess it'd be this one because I'm left-handed. You throw with your left and catch with your right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but I mean, if you're left handed, you could catch with it too. So you're, you know, really gifted in a way.


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[Assistant] Or like guitar, guitars backwards, I always blame that.


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[Assistant] Oh wow. Does he ever thought of that? If only I had turned it upside down.


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[Assistant] Don't they say you have an advantage if you're left handed? Like batting, like, like you're a little closer to first base. That's what they would always tell me. And I'm like, I don't know if that couple of little steps is really doing a lot. Sometimes it does. It does.


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[Assistant] And I was sitting at my aunt's house one day and my dad goes, Oh, I love that. I love your hair like that. And then we got in the car and I was like, Oh, my hair does look good like this. He goes, not like that. It doesn't. And he had just given me a compliment inside.


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[Assistant] And it's like, what are you doing here? What's, it'd be tough to, oh yeah, there it is. That's slicked back.


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[Assistant] I actually had a guy in New York tell me one time that he said, you're very funny, but when you took the stage, I said, this guy's not going to be funny.


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[Assistant] I was, you know, I was in a real tr- I quit drinking, right? I was in a real transitional phase. This is my trying to figure it out here.


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[Assistant] Alright, that's nice. Dirt into dust. You would think that, hey, they would be a fan of a...


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[Assistant] That really took it. Lee Perascandola really took it down a notch, huh?


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[Assistant] Dyersburg. Dyersburg's Dyer County. Yeah. I mean, like you're eating chili cheese burrito. Dyer. In a Dyer situation.


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[Assistant] I think if you're in the tank with the shark, that's provoked.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that doctor would be like, wow, this is amazing. How'd you get this? Yeah. But I think I would trust the doctor more back then.


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[Assistant] Like if you went back to George Washington time and we were like, you're like, don't drain all the blood out.


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[Assistant] I've, you know, that's what they did to George Washington. He was, they thought he had bad blood.


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[Assistant] They did? So they did bloodletting? And that's how he died. That's what I was told.


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[Assistant] Oh, I know where he lives. Oh, that was it? You got a bionic leg?


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[Assistant] You might say this guy was as impressed with you as Aaron was, uh, a gas station cashier. That's true. I mean, Aaron got in the car and threw his head back in. And this guy was much, he was really taking a back. He goes, I can't, are you?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I probably, you know, maybe if I prepared for them to ask that question, you know, and just not lie and try to work my way around it.


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[Assistant] But imagine the people that were defrauded that also, like, were still believing it.


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[Assistant] That like ruined it for them too. Because they were like, you know, you think that you're exposing this guy, but really the people are like, oh, that guy ripped us off. I thought that was real. Just let them live in that. Because if you believe people can bend spoons with their, their mind, that's your bad. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] Well, my dad wears a lot of dusty slight gear now, you know, so.


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[Assistant] You know, it used to be Alabama shirts, but he's really traded them in. But now he's changed it up. Yeah.


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[Assistant] What if it were like, when he said it, he meant still, like, S-T-I-L-L, and we took it as steel.


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[Assistant] You do feel like a town. You do feel like a town. Yeah, I'd like to be a mayor.


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[Assistant] I'm just going from store to store being like, you gotta take this down.


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[Assistant] Do you feel like that's making the town look good? Yeah, yeah. That's my approach. Uh, you went to Dolphin Island. Yeah, I went to, took my family to South Alabama, you know, where, where the money is, as I like to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, well, you know, I wanted to, I got this, uh, tent when, when, when my daughter was born, Lee Ann Morgan, comedian Lee Ann Morgan, bought, she was like, let me send you a gift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she sent me this tent and I didn't understand why she sent the tent. I was appreciative, but she was like, when I.


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[Assistant] Uh, my grandson was born. We took this tent to the beach and we had so much fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a year goes by, my daughter's at one years old now. We finally go to the beach, we take this tent.


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[Assistant] You know, the, we had to put every stake that came with the tent down just to hold it down. I mean, the wind, the wind's blowing sand in my nose and my mouth. We're out there, put, you know, my, my wife's putting sunscreen on and the sand sticking to her. It's windy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we get out there, we have a good time, my daughter sits in the tent, she eats watermelon, and I get why Leanne bought the tent. It's really fun. But then when we leave, I tell, uh, Hannah, my mom, and I say, you guys go ahead and go back to the car, I'll break down the tent, I'll bring this all back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the Latin, then I do the last two stakes and then the wind is really blowing.


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[Assistant] And this pop-up tent is like, well you throw it out and it just expands. It's got these, this one piece at the top and all the things fold in. Really nice.


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[Assistant] So I put my hand on the top to grip this and the wind takes the whole tent.


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[Assistant] And my hand, my fingers are just clamped in. It feels like I'm in.


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[Assistant] But I'm going, help! And no one's looking, no one sees me.


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[Assistant] And I just feel like I'm gonna lose my fingers or at least the skin. But I'm just like, I gotta get into it. So I just get down and I pry it open and I finally get my fingers out and they're smashed up. This is two weeks ago. My finger's still numb. I feel like I've done nerve damage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we get back to the, to the, uh, uh, part of the house.


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[Assistant] Me and my wife are laughing about it now. It's all fun. And my mom goes, well, I hope you don't lose your finger. Your aunt hit her finger with a rubber stamp and lost the end of it.


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[Assistant] And I'm like, where's this been? Your cat, we're all eating ice cream, hanging out. You think that I could lose my finger? She's like, well, I told you to put ice on it. I'm like, stress it, stress it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, hope you don't lose your finger. It happens.


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[Assistant] Because that hurt. Yeah, it hurts. Well, we'll see what happens. See what happens. Wow. But, so, you know, that was a wild time. It's Sue Lee and Morgan. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I wanted to tell Leanne Morgan that I just never found the time to call her, but, uh, so maybe, but I, but I, you know, I still have the tent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, that's good. I didn't throw it away. What's up with that wind down there? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's like an entire, this is probably a two person tent. The entire tent folds up. The wind's holding it while it's gripping my fingers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I'm triggered by the tent. I don't even want to touch him.


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[Assistant] I'm so triggered by things clamping my fingers now.


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[Assistant] If I didn't know your wife, I'd think you lived in the complete wilderness. Yeah, I know. That's what everybody thinks. The squirrels, the pole cats. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe think about putting some food out for the squirrel. Maybe go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about your dog? I was talking to you the other day, that dog barks. Man, that dog's vicious.


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[Assistant] It was an opalica. But it's, uh, I mean, it just feels like Applebee's is known for the L.I.T.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, then I would repeat it back to them and I'm faced with that decision of, do I repeat it back to them wrong just so I don't show that they're wrong? You know what I mean? Like they would go, let me get a talipia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, do I re-pronounce it Tilapia or Tilipia? Yeah. You know what I mean? Tilipia. I would say... Tilipia. Let me get a Tilipia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was irritated by every single thing someone asked for. After you wait tables long enough, just everything they ask for. I would try to anticipate the need, but then if they ask for something I didn't anticipate, I'm irritated. I won't yell at them, but I take it. But I'm like, I'm like these idiots.


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[Assistant] Arteesian water. I was like, I don't think we- He goes, you ain't got no bottled water back there, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, oh yea, we got bottled water. Artesian. Artesian. Yea, I don't even, yea, I mean I guess there's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where did you work at? Where did you work out again? I worked several places, but for a long time I worked at a seafood restaurant called Heimans in Charleston, South Carolina. Okay. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I think Heimans is awesome. People criticize it a lot because it is a tourist spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's awesome. I mean, I love working there. I worked there for a long time and I got a lot of restaurant jokes. I mean, you know, people would come in and they would go, let me get a lot. Let me get a water with a lot of lemons and a lot of sugar. And I'm like, you know, you know, we have lemonade. Like I see what you're doing here. You don't have to make it. Just let me charge you for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the next time they came it was five of them and a baby?


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[Assistant] And it was the best. I loved it. They had to leave, go to the bank, get more money, come back, tip me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just not gonna do it. They're like, I'm just going to eat. I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people, you'd add gratuity and they would ask, what's this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's too much tipping now. Like everywhere you go now, you go to, you know, the coffee shop, you just get a black coffee, they do like this, just, and then there's an option to tip. I'm like, what am I tipping you for? You didn't do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you go to a restaurant and it's, eh, eh, like, they've not waited on you.


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[Assistant] And you don't know how it's all gonna pan out. So I'm tipping, I'm pre-tipping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like in Dolphin Island, this one restaurant, we had bought my daughter this, it's like a snail that is real colorful and it moves. And our server was like, oh, that's cool. I'll take that to a festival with me next time. Yeah. It's like, I like how you just admitted to us that you do a lot of drumming. That's what that is. Yeah. For sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish I had that mindset back then. I approached two tables that left me nothing, completely nothing. I would go up to them and I went, Hey, just want to check with you. Uh, make sure your service was okay. I noticed that you didn't tip. So I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. You couldn't do that if it was a low tip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What would they say? Well, one said, oh no, we left something on the table. It wasn't there. And then the other one said, oh yeah, no, no, everything was good. I go, okay, I just wanted to check with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. I mean, but that was my, I worked at this restaurant twice. So that was my second time around. So I was a lot bolder. You're no nonsense. I was sober, the hair slicked back. I was not playing around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the thing about tipping too is it's like everybody just expects to get tipped. So you can't even use the tipped as a way to show that you didn't do a good job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, like when I go to a restaurant and people don't do a good job, I wanna not tip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, I just think that they're going to go, oh, that guy's a redneck, rednecks never tip. You know, they're not going to think they did a bad job. I've left people notes before. I say, normally I'm a good tipper, but I want to let you know that you did a bad job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My first waiting tables job was a restaurant called Western Sizzlin'. That's where I worked for a long time, buffet style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, a little, well, there is a buzzer, I think. Oh, you're, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And manually giving people extra butter and sour cream. That's mainly a tea. You refill in the tea and then you carry a lot of butter and sour cream in your apron.


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[Assistant] We had a lady that worked there, she'd bring her own broom and dustpan in. Oh, why? Because others were all raggedy.


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[Assistant] And I had a lady one time, like she was, she got frustrated with me that worked there and she grabbed me by my neck like that and I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's tough to say, I mean, it was, I felt like it was, like I'll say this, I would still eat there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I did see a guy one time like he spilled a whole pot of like chicken in the kitchen. It was like going everywhere and I walked back there and he's just raking it back in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, on the floor. His name was Tyrone. They called him T-Bone, which I always thought was a weird nickname because it's like almost the exact same. Pretty close. But I did see there was a guy, one time he was refilling the green beans in the buffet and he was sweating and he was like, as he was pouring green beans in, he was pouring sweat into the green beans. A little salt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My sister used to work there too and they had a, she saw a guy drop a steak on the floor and then just put it back on the grill. And they had a, she said there was a lady that used to mix the tea and she would get like a little spoon and then stick her whole arm in the tea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then about two 30 black church comes in and it's like, by the time you get it cleaned up, a new church group rolls in. They pull every table together in the whole restaurant. You got 40 people at a table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, I mean. Well, you're getting paid more hourly though. Oh no. Oh, it's a, I mean, it is really like if you're a woman working there, you're relying on those $5 tips from the, you know, the gross perverted truckers. But if you're me, you're lucky you're not getting changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because crab cakes are delicious and I hate to see them go to waste. And people used to make fun of me. Would you eat it with bites taken out of it? Well, it depends on what was going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People used to make fun of me about it, but then as time went on, I mean, everybody started doing it. I just think they saw me kept doing it. I was never sick and they just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to see a sketch where someone, some old lady sucking the salt off a fry and then Aaron's eating it. That is disgusting.


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[Assistant] Yeah, practically family. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I wanted as much separation as possible. I wanted it to be like, I'm gonna do a good job but let's keep a distance. Because they would always go, are you going to college?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I had to get into this whole thing where I'm like, no, I plan to go. And eventually you hit the age where you're like, nah, never going, never doing it. This may be it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let a manager know you may be eligible for a $20 gift certificate, something like that. That's to keep the servers honest, right? But one time I had this guy and something happened and I was like, well, just I'll give you the soda, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that, you know, I let him know I'm going to give you this, but it's all part of a, you know, because we've made some mistakes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes down to the bar, tries to claim the $20. The bartender calls me and it's like, hey, there's a guy down here trying to claim the $20. And I go down there and he goes, oh, oh, I thought I won something cause you didn't charge me. It's like, no, dude, we talked about that. Now you're going to get me fired down here. Get out of here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to straight up go, even if they didn't ask, I'd go server. I wouldn't get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go, you can do whatever you want, but I'm just telling you, people don't like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I may get fired for it, but I'm just saying, you don't, cause, and then people would go, no, I want it. And then they wouldn't like it. I'm like, well, I told you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We used to get people, they'd come in off, they're like, uh, Charleston's a real touristy town, so they'd be walking around, it'd be hot, and they'd come in, they'd look all bad, they're like, can we get just some crackers real quick, our blood sugar's real low, and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would do it, but I'm always like, you needed a plan for this, man. Don't come in all desperate, like, like you're about to die here. You gotta, if you got that kind of issue, carry some crackers around with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're out of em. And they would get these free crab dip coupons off the street. People had, so people would come in, they would give you the free crab dip coupon, then you put it in, it comes, and it'd be like a crab dip like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they always complain about it. They're like, this is it, huh? And I'm like, yeah, man, I don't know. It's free. It's a free thing. Just eat it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait tables all day, go get wasted, uh, and then go, if it was a big night, a lot of tips would be like, let's celebrate, let's go get drunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was in Fayetteville, Arkansas and I saw people come in and they go, how, how long for it? It was like two o'clock. They go, how long for a table or four? The guy goes, ah, like 6 PM. I was like, what's going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, maybe they, maybe the restaurant shut down. Maybe. I mean, I went to a, I left and went to another restaurant and ate immediately. I was like, I don't know what's going on. Oh, you were behind them trying to get a table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to Fayetteville cause this girl, I went to a coffee shop one time and this girl told me she moved to Fayetteville. She said it was like the Portland of the South.


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[Assistant] Yeah, late nineties Applebee's really felt like a good restaurant. Yeah. But nowadays it is, I don't know what's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Best Applebee's I ever been to in my life. Oh really? I felt like the, the Mormons were really holding it down. Yeah. Yeah. Keeping Applebee's going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, do you want to donate to blah blah blah? I go, what is that? And if they don't know, I'm not doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your phone number? Do you want to donate to this? Well, now you got my number, I guess I will.


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[Assistant] Don't put this on it, don't put this on it, and then they get it and they go, this is not good. And it's like, well you made that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I think that's true. I mean, anything they're really pushing is something they got cheap or they're like trying to get rid of.


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[Assistant] I got a brother in law, he's from Michigan, from like a middle class family and he married my sister and moved into the trailer park with us for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the first year he was down with us for Mother's Day, my grandmother liked to go out and so he got so excited and my grandmother always liked to go to Burger King for Mother's Day. He said that was the first time that he thought, what have I done?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Are they still married? Oh yeaah. Oh yeaah. But my grandmother, I guess my grandmother was around when Burger King came out. Oh yeaah. So she loved it.


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[Assistant] That's my favorite. Well, my, my sister really blew my mind. She doesn't eat a lot of fast food, but the other day she goes, sometimes I'll go to McDonald's cause I just love a fish sandwich. And I just thought, that just blew my mind. I didn't know anybody was eating the fish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I saw a brand new fuzz always coming to a town, and it blew my mind.


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[Assistant] Like maybe if you're going to the car wash over there, you might stop it as always on the line. They are hiring right now if you're Aaron, you're looking for another restaurant job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am about to launch second half of my year, my tour. So that's gonna be great. I'm in Huntsville soon with uh, Brian. It's gonna be great. And I got uh, you know my secret dream is to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one day hit 10,000 followers on Twitter. I'm very close. It's only taken me over a decade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 9,700 something. Alright. Let's see what we got here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, yeaah, I mean, it's my secret dream, you know what I mean? It doesn't matter if we ever get there, but that's my Twitter, not available.


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[Assistant] I did not see that coming though. Cause you, yeah, I mean, I did not see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, did you know? Two out of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they are 35.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to keeps.com slash nate to get your first month of treatment for free. That is keeps.com slash nate for your first month free. Uh, also that's special, uh, that is special occasion is coming up. So get the gift that will last forever from paint your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get a custom painting for your loved one for a limited time. Get 20% off your painting and free shipping. Text the word NATE to 64000-6400. Paint your life. Celebrate the moments that matter most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks! Welcome to the Nate-Land podcast. Uh, I'm Nate Barghetti, sitting here with, uh, Aaron Weber. Justin Smith, filling in for Brian Bates. Uh, what's up? Oh, you're just saying to me? Oh yea, everybody out there. Everybody's a buddy. Everybody's a buddy. Everybody's at home listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So welcome to the show. Uh, this is, uh, you know, we recorded this one as a backup. I don't know if I ever should, are you supposed to say that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Audience, audiences, we won't release it. We're just going to send it to just YouTube only.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just go. Both of them look like you're not happy to be in the picture. Your smile and regular face, they're both like, I can't use any of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I'll see pictures, I'll take pictures of the people afterwards and it's like. It looks so forced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not forced, I mean, I just think to go big, I'm just, I'm not, I am happy. Yeah, sure. But you're trying to make sure and then it looks...