[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it don't be every picture you take of someone, you're like, next. You know, it's like, that's what devs feel like. So you're like, I am happy to take these pictures too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have a great smile or you just, your whole life is figuring it out. It's like you're either born with it or not with a smile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's interesting to even see it. Like, I would love to see...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just always look like I win. I do a nice, currency pictures of me, a good one is I'm always like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just raised my eyebrows up and you're like, that's enough. They get it. Looks like this guy's having a good time. Uh, so much fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Christian Mascosco. Mascoso. Mascoso.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was in elementary school, I had a teacher who used to say that every night we go to bed being less dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do not think he took into the count the fact that I would listen to y'all weekly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On Wednesdays, I'm pretty sure I go to bed a little dumber. Best case scenario, may break even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what I know for sure is that on Wednesday, I definitely go to bed happier. And that's what it's... There it is. Yeah. That's what it's all about. We're not here to make you smarter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes my rhythm of his sentences, I can even tell, like it's so bad. Last night our family went to the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While my husband, two older children and I were passing and catching the frisbee, our four year old with autism who didn't start talking until last January, was running around and shouting, uh, shouting, let's go folks! Over and over again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He thought it was hilarious. I was trying to figure out where he could have heard that. Then I realized I always listen to your podcast with him in the car. Thanks for keeping it clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at that. Let's go folks. That's for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so cool. Yelling at, you know, let them know. That's how, that's how we need to get the word out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You scoop it over there whenever you want. Oh, let me see that top. Do a video. Video kind of gets the point quicker than you. Going super fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't look like it. I don't know why those people were eating in a towel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. You had me until you had them come in a towel and robe and eat cereal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you go, ehm, at the end of it, you're like, well, we want no couples do it. All right, well, I'll just show a family eating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They look away. They eat the cereal and look out into their living room of nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just our furniture. We'll look out amongst our furniture and our beautiful picture that we have. How would you even, what do you tell them when you're acting? You're like, so what do you want us to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, they tried to sit down, I'm sure in his robe, kept coming open and they're like, well, that's no good. This is a small. Yeah. And then they go, uh, all right, we'll just come stand and eat it. Then they probably ate it over. I've guaranteed they ate it at the camera and it's like, I mean, this is a cereal commercial. It's probably a little too revealing. And they're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want to just do something else? And he's like, we're already here with the stuff on. So, you know what? What if y'all grab a cereal and just, uh, we don't show the product. By the way, the end of this video is not showing the product. It's showing the backs of two people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy, dude. And his towel looks like his Roblox has got a hole in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since he'd, since he'd always wanted that name, purely by coincidence, our new neighbor saw a TV commercial about missing kids and thought one of them looked exactly like Dean. Since he was telling everyone his name was Scott, this confirmed their theory. Within a few days, my mom got a visit from two FBI agents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who demanded to see Dean's birth certificate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Otherwise our childhood would have been a lot different. That's a different childhood. That could go two ways. Yeah. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sounds like a guy that would have kidnapped a kid that used to be called Dean, now named Scott. And you have a little problem with the FBI.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it, you get you low and you're like, well, that's where I'm gonna finish with. And he goes, what's for more? And you go, I'll do low rider, victory low rider.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I hope he's huge or something. Like it's like, not even, well, he's like, I'm pretty tall. You're like, eh, alright. Several years ago, I decided that if I was asked for my name in a restaurant, I was going to use a something. What is that? Pseudonym. Pseudonym. Oh, that's the fake name. Pseudonym.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not long after I made that decision, I was in the Atlanta airport and I decided to try it out. I stopped at a Chick-fil-A and when I asked for my name, I said Jack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soon the girl who took my order stepped up to the counter with a bag of food and drink and said, Jack. All of us looked around expecting Jack to step up and get his order. He did not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, in a little more loudly, she said, Jack?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of us looked around again wondering what happened to Jack. Finally, while looking directly at me, she shouted, Jack!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I remembered that's me as I slipped up to the counter. I was sure the girl who took my order and the others waiting for the orders were wondering, what is wrong with this idiot? I took my food and with a half smile said to the girl, sorry, jet lag. She said with some anger in her voice, I called your name three times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's what makes me not use a fake name. Cause I, I, I don't feel I have the confidence for it. I think, you know, some people can do that and they like it. I, I, I'm not, I feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was not like, cause I think they might know me before anybody would ever, I never would feel comfortable to be like, I'm building and then be like, and just have people quiet. Like I don't like it. I'd be like, eh, that feels weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Justin Carl Smith does sound like a comic that's gonna just have, he's like, so you come in a day early, like normal, and you go, what? He goes, you're Justin Carl Smith, right? You do the guitar stuff. Uh, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I would have ever thought to try out, maybe I could have wrote, I could have wrote a package or packet to try to be a writer on it. Would have been the only thing, but no one ever approached me about doing it. The Daily Show was the only thing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think there's, yeah, that was, none of it was real, but it was, it was cool to see. I remember doing it, like people saying it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time I was seeing Nate at the Arlington Draft House in Virginia while I was looking for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Parking before the show I found a spot with an old mattress in it. Me and my friends threw out


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one would take the space because they didn't want to touch the mattress, so we got out and moved it and took the space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Walking out of the parking lot into the front door of the venue. I then saw a car with Nate and the host pulled into the packed parking lot going towards the space we took and realized we just took their spot. Sorry about that, Nate. You know, this sounds somewhat, wait, this sounds maybe somewhat familiar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it does sound familiar. That's very funny. Do they not have a cone in the sparking line? Yea, you'd think they would have a cone. I think a cone would be better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great club. I'm headlining there in August. Oh yeah. That's great. It's a, it's a, it was the, it was, uh, I, you know, I never remember anything, but from my memory, one of the first clubs I sold out the weekend. Oh yeah. If not the first, but at least one of the first, Oregon dress houses is a great, great club. And it's a, you know, let it take a lot of comics and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get to kind of grow there and stuff. And DC Improv is great too. Like I know I'm talking about both. They're competitors in a sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, DC bros is a legend club, legendary club and it's like crazy. Ceilings are very low. It's like you just murder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Arlington is, Arlington's awesome. And uh, it's a lot of comics, sometimes it's your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the very beginning, they're very cool, like looking out for new comics and you get a headline there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nicholas Butcher. Nicole's Butcher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw Nate in Charleston, South Carolina. The batteries on the mic died during the show. Once things got working again, Brian delivered a new mic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate started talking about doing comedy for soldiers on USO tour with no mic. I've never heard him tell that story since. I was wondering what it was like going into war zone and doing comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Nicole's Butcher. Uh, I'm trying to, I'm trying to like picture that show. That's so, I do so many shows. It's so funny that the mic goes out and you're like, I don't know. You would think something that big, you're like, you don't remember that? You're like, I don't know, a lot of mics have gone out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we did, you go, it was crazy, the USO tours were amazing. It's always safe, like it's one of the highlights of my career. I always, I think if I didn't, would have fell into comedy, I would have probably went to the military, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I like that camaraderie. I like, you know, everything about it. And, uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I was so great to go get him perform over there because it was like, I always felt like I, some reason was like pulled in that direction. And then I thought, well, this, this is why, you know, I'm getting to go this way. And so we did stuff with this guy, Scott Kennedy, who passed away. He's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's great. And he did, uh, I did it with, my first time over was with Dustin Chaffin. He got us, went to Bahrain and Djibouti and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Kuwait, I think. Uh, and then, so I went with Dustin Chaffin first, and then started going with this guy, Scott Kennedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He'd go two weeks, then come home for two weeks, then go back two weeks. I mean, every month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when we did those with him, he would really target the FOBs, the forward operating bases. They were just small bases that were just in the middle of like cities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in Iraq, and so it's like, you would go, sometimes you see those USO tours, like it's still awesome that they go do it, but a lot of times they're going to, they go to Kuwait, to the big place, and it's like, you know, it's guys coming or going, it's a reason that they're there, but it's like, Scott would really, we'd go to your base, and when we drove through Baghdad, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do the streets of Baghdad, like in a convoy. I think they got in trouble for it. Cause they were like, yeah, y'all should have never done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and when you're driving, they have to look at like everything they see. I mean, dude, they drive, it's crazy. They just drive on the side of the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like, it's almost like there's no cars. And, uh, you're just driving through the city. We went to that, the Saddam thing with the swords. I don't know if that's Saddam. The statue? The statue thing? No, not the statues of Saddam. What's the gold swords in, uh, in Baghdad?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, maybe just look at the victory arch. Uh, uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy. Oh, that's actually four. Is that because they won victory over Saddam? Uh, so, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. I, I mean the picture's somewhere, but, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a little, it was a fat bloated Nate that he stood under there. And, uh, he had finished in 89.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, for dedicated to fallen Iraqi soldiers. So yeah, I took a picture there and then, uh, stayed in Saddam's palace. Uh, it was crazy how we walked around that. Like, you know, you'd see where Saddam's kids, where his sons had a palace. I mean, it's like pulling into a neighborhood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I remember, like you could see where they hit, cause they hit like his sons, like when they first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't, yeaah. I was like, he was pretty cool about everything. Uh, so he painted everything, everything's really gold, but it's all gold painted. And the idea of it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks very rich from everybody outside, but it was like, I mean, he would have, he had 30 of these palaces and he made them run as if he was at every one of them. So every palace ran as if he was there. So then that way, if someone tried to, uh, someone tried to kill him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You couldn't tell. You were like, it's not like the mailbox is full or like, it'd be smoke and the chimney comes out. Well, he's eating breakfast. He's eating. Like, and they did it. So everybody just ran. You ran it like as if sedums. You would make plates and that way no one could know where he was at. Wow. Yeah. And then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You slept in a, I slept on a bunk in a room. And uh, but I mean, I think a lot, I mean, a lot of people obviously stayed in that room. Uh, and then so we, there we went and drove to all these small bases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm driving down the streets and these guys are having to look at like every, you see a shopping bag and you're like, what's that? Like that stuff could be all IEDs. And then we went to, uh, we did Blackhawks too. Uh, Blackhawks were crazy. I remember just flying. I've talked about like, you find we went to Kirkuk and we were flying over


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Iraq and you're just, it's at night and it's just dark. It's just nothing but dark. Like there's no, you know, it's like you fly over America. You're like, there's always a little light.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I don't think, well it could be I guess, but I'm saying I don't think, I think there was just nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I mean, like, you just, like, as you're going to recruit, you're just flying over parts where you're, it'd be like flying over parts of Alaska where you're like, there's nothing here, dude. Like, if you're, and it felt like that, where you're like, I don't, we're, who knows where we're at. Like, you know, uh, but, uh, I saw Abraham's, uh, house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this, right before he, uh, uh, went to Egypt, before he moved to Egypt, uh, he gets more Abraham. Abraham. It goes, uh, I've been to that house, uh, and it was, I don't think it was like before he moved to Egypt. It was very, how did they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he lived there for a while, then he moved out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. This is where you went right here? I went there and then, uh, but his house, they found his house like next to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you could see it like over next to it. I think it's over there. They done did it, but the floors, they redid the walls. You could see, you could look at another, I don't think zoom in. All right, there you go. Uh, I mean, I don't know how you're looking. You just thought right here, I'll just zoom in more. And you're like, all right, dude, uh, go that one bottom, the middle left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, that, that, that's the whole thing. That wasn't, yeaah. So, that's the, uh, birthplace of Abraham. And then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I walked in all this. And so the walls were built for the layout of it, but the floor is all the floor he would have walked on. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he went to Egypt, right? I wish I knew more about that story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh great. I was, I was trusting you. I was trusting you the whole time. You thinking of Moses? No, I think it's, I think he did, you know, I think he had to get out. I think he turned 18, left his parents house and you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Saddam, like it was all set up and he's going to go and then Saddam said no. Uh, and then I never got to do it. And so when you go, you give the guy that runs it all the soldiers have to give that dude money to kind of like keep, cause there's one guy that kind of keeps it up and like, you know, and you're in a place that they don't care that it's the whole country is just where Abraham walked. It's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I always like think about it, maybe that's it now, maybe there's, oh actually you can't. If that's it, you know what's crazy? If they have that now, where you gotta walk around it on the wood? I walked on it. If that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I can also. I remember thinking, I go, this was anywhere else I wouldn't be able to get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you talking about dude? Abraham went straight to Egypt. I think he was born right outside Egypt. Town, suburb, born in the suburb of Egypt. The suburbs of Egypt. Yeah. What are you, what are you crazy, are you serious dude?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but anyway, long story, the USO Tourie, uh, the USO one with no mic is, uh, we went to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some na- some soldiers, I want to say they were SEALs or something. Or Rangers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, you know, it was like, we, we landed in a helicopter, got out, did it and basically going back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just go back. We were like, we don't need to do this mission. Like they've been out all night. And so you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, I go, we don't need to do comedy. They go, no, no, you came all the way here. They're going to watch it. And you're like, huh. And then, so we stand in a chow hall, like, and we're doing no microphone and there's a buffet behind me. I remember when I was up there, one guy just went to the buffet and I mean, he's like, I have to move at one point in the middle of joke. I'm like, uh, you know, I'm doing like whatever my old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, Bahrain joker, you know, there's snakes in Honduras and I'm like, oh, sorry. And then, so two snakes go, he's like, and he just walked by and got his food and left. And, uh, it was, they were all great. It was, you know, it was a, it was a weird, I mean, they didn't come back to expect to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Sites. Do you have a contracted timeline with Netflix for the next taping, or do you let them know when you are ready?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you know when the material is complete? Uh, when the booze stops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I could tape one now. I'm glad that I'm not. I'm glad that I'm getting to fix everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I'm, we're ready, uh, there's plans, I don't know what, there's nothing concrete, nothing I can announce, nothing I can, could say. But the, the idea, I have, I know what I want to do and where we want to do it. So, uh, but we haven't, yeah, it would just be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, yeaah, like for a comic, you just talk, you can't talk to him, you gotta go talk to Netflix first, cause I did one last with him, or that's what I do. And then, uh, you know, and we see where it goes from there, and then hopefully it's on Netflix again, uh, I would like it to be. And so we would do another one, and then, uh, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean it's all different, weirdly it changes every year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you're just, whatever you get, you know, the beginning, you're like, thanks for letting me and I'm still, I'm always going to be thanks for letting me even do this, but it's like the way it goes. Like it's, it is weird now to kind of be like, we're like, well, we want to tape it here. So then it's like, so let us know if y'all want to do it. You know, it's like, it's crazy to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see it. It's, yeah, it is. It's like, that's a, it's put, he put it the best way. Conquin's so great. And, uh, but it is, it's like, you can get to a point where you're not in the joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And cause you just told it so much and you can tell like I'm getting tired of telling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't need to be in it. And you gotta remind yourself to be, I work on that a lot to be present. You know, sometimes you can go up there and you can have just like, I dunno, a lot of stuff going on or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something happens and then right when you walk on stage, it's like, hello, and then you're in your head, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are we going tomorrow? Why are we leaving at two? I don't know, you know, just something that bugs you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're, but I've gotten a lot better. Like I would have to, I mean, that happens a lot. I think people would be shocked how many times comedians can be up there and their mind can be just, you're in just another world. And you're, and it's not, you don't do it out of disrespect. It's just, your mind is crazy and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean, everybody knows what that means when you're talking. Everybody talking in public would know, like, you could...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you talk to anybody, you can be like, dude, I'm not, I'm talking and I'm not even paying attention. And so I have to, I do a lot of like, I remind myself of it a lot. And so when I'm up, so I've gotten a lot better over the past year of just, I can pull myself back. I can go, Hey, you gotta be telling this joke. And it's actually helped me like the jokes more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause then I, then you really look at it as like I'm talking to this audience for the first time. They have not seen this. So they, I want to show them how funny this is or whatever you want to go do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you may, it's about them in that room at that moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you just go and you just make yourself just keep coming back and go, this is not about you. Who cares about you? Do your dumb act and pull your head back into it. It's not fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be thinking you can just, you know, I think it's a slippery slope if you lose it and it gets hard because like I had one, one show on a long run. I just, I was doing for a couple of weeks and you could just feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, it felt like the whole show I was having to like, just keep my mind just would start walking off and have to jerk it back. And it like, sometimes you like do it once, twice maybe. And then sometimes it's like, it's like 15 times you're like, and you're like, I'm just very, I'm worn out and I need a, I need a kind of a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, and then I was off a week after that. So then I went back to normal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel the appreciation and you go, I need to give that back to them because if you don't, they can tell and they will stop showing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, do, alright, recently my, oh, uh, Brandon Alderton, Alderton. Recently my dad has made the Seinfeld reference, Ukraine is not weak. And I was told it was too soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it was, but how do you as comedians toe the line of funny observations and sound like a heartless monster? Uh, toe the line of funny observations. Oh, how do you toe the line? I was reading that wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you tell the line of funny observations and sounding like a heartless monster?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The person's saying too soon, I'm not on board with. That's where, I don't even care what the joke is, but if someone goes too soon, you're like, well then you're, you should not, you should just never tell that person a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's for sure. They're that serious about everything. I'd imagine in Ukraine, there, there's some jokes going around. Right. I'd imagine that guy's dad does not hate Ukraine. I would imagine like there's, you know, it's whatever. He did a Seinfeld reference, which makes sense. You know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, and he's saying Ukraine is not weak. Like that's not a bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was awesome. That was very cool. And then yeah, they did Ukraine's that week. So it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, like, he, your dad's making a, he's just making a Seinfeld reference. Uh, so yeah, that would, uh, but anybody that says too soon, I'm not on board with. Like, because it's, it's that person should...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if I thought, I mean, this is me saying what I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About, you know, which is my whole life is about observation, but I would never, I would not say too soon. I just wouldn't say anything. I would walk away or you'd be like, oh yeah. And then you move on. Why do I need to say why? What is the too soon help?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does it need to, like you, you're, I just, it feels weird to, I mean, I'm, even though I'm berating this person for saying too soon, but it's like, you know, but everybody knows that feeling of just like, when someone goes, it's too soon, man. And you're like, all right, dude, like, I don't, what do you want to do? Like, all right, I'm doing a Seinfeld reference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I would, yeaah. That took a lot to get out. If his dad Ukraine is not weak, just go. I would have said that and they go too soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then his dad should have said, well, I'm for Russia, so I don't know what you think. That's what I would have said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would, that, your dad, I would just be like, yeah, don't make jokes around that person. Like, you know, just cause it's like, alright, well, they're not fun. No more fun for you. Yeah, no more fun for you. You know, it's like, right, they don't, you know, it's like, if they say too soon, you're like, then it is what it is. What I'd love to hear the other side of that, they go, no, no, no, he.


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[Assistant] You're like, well, we didn't get all the, okay. And you go, yeah, that's why they said too soon.


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[Assistant] Went along with some Catholic friends. The Pope came along a row and stuck out his hand. My grandpa was first in line and didn't know the drill, so he shook the Pope's hand. The Pope shook it back. Grandpa didn't realize he had messed up until the Pope continued on and all his buddies kissed his ring.


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[Assistant] Decades later, my grandpa could laugh about it, but it was, but about it was still embarrassed. He always said that the Pope was the only person who ever thanked him for going to war. That's so funny.


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[Assistant] Well, she was still offering something, that's, you know, it's a little bit on her. You're like, hey, Buffalo Helium's amazing. Yeah. Buffalo, is that where it was? Yeah, Buffalo Helium is great. Uh, there, but, yeah, so I hope, I, yeah, it's a mix of, I don't feel like you can just, you know,


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[Assistant] He tries a little bit of everything and you get nachos and you're like, what happened to this side? That's a tool.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a little. First show, I mean, you might as well order two plates.


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[Assistant] Took my dad to see Nate in San Antonio. Safe to say Nate has a new fan. Haven't heard my dad laugh that hard in years. Mom asked when we got home, how was it? My dad said it was the funniest time out I've had in years.


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[Assistant] My mom replied, our 40th anniversary party was three weeks, oh, funnest time out I've had in years. My mom replied, our 40th anniversary party was three weeks ago. My dad replied, so you want me to start lying to you now? Nate also lost a fan, so net zero.


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[Assistant] That's great. Uh, yeah. Uh, one of us, can we get an episode of Nate's sister? I love others from Miriam Georgiou. We've had Miriam Gregory, Miriam Gregory.


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[Assistant] Uh, can we get an episode with Nate's sister? I would love to hear her side of the stories. Thanks for all the laughs. That's never gonna happen. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think I want to do, we're going to do one, uh, I want to do one with, I'll get my Abigail and my brother Derek home. That would be fun.


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[Assistant] Yes. Talk to him about stuff. By the way, you guys are doing great. So, uh, with that.


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[Assistant] He, just last night he said- Oh, it's so much fun. It's so much fun to watch. Yeah, last night we were, you know, we're recording this early, uh, I mean, recorded it earlier than when you will see this, but we were in, uh, Augusta, Georgia last night, and he goes, dude, these people were like so excited. He goes, I had like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so just keep it up, you know? And, and sometimes if Chase is not out at the merch table, it's because they have the building sell it.


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[Assistant] So sometimes he's not selling it. So if you don't see him, that's why. But he's around. But he's around. But I mean, you don't have to, you know, it don't, but I just, you get a heads up if you don't see him, that's kind of why. Sometimes he walks up back there and you might see him. But, uh,


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[Assistant] But a lot, but a lot of times he is selling the merch and then you feel free to ask him.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I don't think he would tell us either. Like, I mean, he told us, cause he randomly will bring it up. I think he kinda just think, like, you know, so I hope, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you'll be a long time before he goes, yeah dude, a lot of people are saying that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, guys, don't. You know? He's crossin' the line, guys. You guys, you crossed the line. My wife doesn't even know about him, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so we, uh, we ordered a painting that, uh, that I thought about, uh, that, that the way I did it is it's, this, this is called Paint Your Life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, we wrote a painting, uh, I've showed it to you. It's, uh, two different pictures of Harper and, uh, her favorite horse, Flame, that, uh, she gets to ride at her horse camp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so there, and it was a picture of like, it was just a picture of her with like a fake horse. And so I thought, well, let's actually put the real horse there, front flame. We did it. It was super easy. Uh, I mean, you just, like you uploaded the two pictures and told them in the online order.


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[Assistant] You know, I mean, you could put like, if you had your, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want a picture of your dad and Alan Jackson, you could do it. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, you know, it's PaintYourLife.com. There's no risk. If you do not love the final painting, your money is refunded, guaranteed. And right now, as a limited time offer, get 20% off your painting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is right, 20% off and free shipping to get this special offer. Text the word Nate to 640006400.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is Nate to 64,000, text Nate to 64,000, paint your life, celebrate the moments that matter most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35. We're two out of three men. I did not.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Till he died. Did you say it did? Or he did? He did. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So GIF keeps a try. Uh, I mean, more than 50 million in the US suffer from male pattern baldness. I, like, there's a world that I think in the future baldness could be, it could go away. Like, they're really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing stuff keeps offers a simple stress free way to keep your hair. There are only two FDA approved medications that can prevent hair loss and keeps offers both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have virtual doctors, consultants, medication delivered straight to the door every three months, treatments started only $10 per month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prevention is key. Treatments can take four to six months to see results, so act fast. If you are ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah. I got, I got, uh, some of it today too. It's good stuff. It's good stuff. I'm a big 3-in-1 fan.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I would do Lone. Yeaah, I think it was Lone Survivor.


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[Assistant] My dad always wanted me to read The Hobbit, and he kept, he would always give it to me, and I never read it. And I never, I was like, this is great, and I was like, I want to get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad and brother like really into like Harry Potter or Hobbit, like they like all that stuff. Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings, all that stuff. And I just don't like this stuff, so I was like I never.


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[Assistant] I want to read, I want to read a lot more. I do. I actually got a book on the Scribd.


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[Assistant] And whatever, now I can't think of the name of it, but it's like this mystery book and it's like this crazy thing and I try to, but I have a hard time.


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[Assistant] Focus and- It's tough, man. It's, yeah. I mean, I can't even make it to a page.


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[Assistant] It's like I get done with like a paragraph and I go, I don't even know what that paragraph was about.


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[Assistant] I feel like I used to be able to read books. Like I used to be able to like, I could focus.


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[Assistant] Books. Yeah. Uh, you know, he gave me, uh, for my birthday, he gave me the Phil Knight, uh, book, uh, Shoe Dog. Oh yeah. And so I was excited to read that. And it's like, I'm going to try it. Like I was, I got him out of my backpack. I'm like, all right, let's read this. Like, but it's, uh, I don't know, man. I feel like everything could be done.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would, uh, I read, I read like, you know, I read, uh, Jordan, Jordan, I swear, I used to be able to read books and honestly, it might, maybe it's like the way the life is now with the internet, social media and all this stuff that you're just, you have no attention for anything that's long. Uh,


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[Assistant] But yeaah, I mean I, I mean honestly, I don't know if I could even read a book right now. Like I don't, I don't think I would register. I, I could, it's like I could do it.


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[Assistant] Like, but I don't, you know. It's like if you ask me to run a marathon, you're like,


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[Assistant] I mean, I can. In theory, it's going to take me a few months, a year. You know, I'll probably put it away. Just live in some random house for six years and then I'll get back out and go do it again. But it's, yeah, I don't know if I could. It's a, it's, I mean, can you get, like, I don't even pay attention.


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[Assistant] We read it. Yeah, that's, that's my thing with movies. That's my thing. I'm watching these old movies or something. Like it's like.


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[Assistant] Uh, and I, I just, I just think it's like I'm so busy or something and your mind just always going, that I just, I just can't even focus to try.


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[Assistant] I got a few things that I can kind of focus on and the rest is, and we're down, we're getting narrowed down. It's, yeah, it's not much. There's a, there's a small, I used to be to do all this and now you're like, I can only, I can only focus on, I get this tiny little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean I'm, you know, I'm a normal American that shouldn't be able to get through a book. Like, I don't, don't you, shouldn't be like, uh, I was American, doesn't matter, I'm a normal human. I mean, I'm just a, you know, it's like, I'm not,


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[Assistant] It's, I don't know what to, maybe I'm not normal, maybe something's wrong with my brain, but it's great, I don't see how.


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[Assistant] How can you not get there? Y'all don't have any trouble? Like do you remember it?


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[Assistant] You can read a book. I have, I think I have trouble with magazines. I couldn't read them.


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[Assistant] I don't even, I wouldn't even know, like, I would just bail on it and then be like, I can't, I can take in new information.


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[Assistant] I think I like talking about it and I like hearing about it from someone. Like if I hear it and I trust that person, I'm like, I like hearing this person tell me this kind of thing. There's some things that I can, but it's very specific. So maybe that's a new, just as older you get, you go.


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[Assistant] I'm not distracted by as much noise. I see what is noise and what is not noise. And I can just focus on the not noise and the rest of it. I'm like, where am I going to go with that?


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[Assistant] I was doing this thing, she'll do, she'll show me an article and you're like, oh, okay.


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[Assistant] And I'm like, what are you doing? And she goes, well, I was thinking the other day, did you, uh, read this article? Was there no phone there? That's just, no. He goes, she goes, we read this article in the newspaper and you're like, well, what was that? He goes, what?


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[Assistant] He doesn't even know he's doing it. He's not even aware. He just, Justin, you're talking about not knowing what you do with your hands in a picture.


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[Assistant] Your hands are just going like this in every story. You're like, I was at the grocery store and I was sitting there reading, uh, you know, on the, one of the magazines and the people magazine, I turn it over and you're like, what, what was that about? You know, he goes, I don't know. I don't know how to not do that.


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[Assistant] Okay, so number two, is it a real book or is it like a religious book?


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[Assistant] That's a very loose, like, cause I'm into reading books, you're like, I mean, alright. We weren't into it.


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[Assistant] I would probably be, I could probably, I'd probably get through that book, cause it's, it depends on how long his quotes are.


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[Assistant] It's like everything in a quote. Yea, yea, yea. And I'd be like, okay. Alright. It doesn't. It's on this side, so it never sheds on the other side.


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[Assistant] There's a lot of stickers that he be happy. You go, okay. Yeah. That's quite a quote, Mal.


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[Assistant] I dunno if I could watch the movie. I dunno if I could make it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think I've seen it, but I remember around that time I was like, I could tell if I'm not interested in this, I don't even, it's, it is pointless of me watching it.


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[Assistant] Why UAN? That's what I, that's how I pictured that was spelled in my head. One. Why UAN? Yea, I don't know why, but.


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[Assistant] Yeah. When you said it, I go, why are you like, what is that? It's a one. Yeah. What's a one?


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[Assistant] I mean, in my head I would guess McDonald's.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Well, it's a big number. So you're talking about like private libraries?


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[Assistant] I read a lot of them about comedy, still team six. I read that. I mean, I loved reading that stuff. And I just am having a harder time reading, but.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I never really stopped. And it was great. And I stopped. Cause I, I, I, I. That was the worst part. I think I liked it, but I was like, I just don't have.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Well yeaah. This will break the ice. But this is a very, this comes as an elite family. Well I guess that's true. So. Yeaah, you probably watched like Field of Dreams or something. Yeaah. Those common mouths. You watched Frost Next. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. How do you dress for a funeral? You wear like, uh, a very flashy suit because you think it's a good time. You don't know what, you don't understand what stuff is. I thought we just remembered him. I thought we were having fun, dude. I thought, I thought he was going to be here.


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[Assistant] And you're telling me you walk in just devastated, every time you are just overwhelmed. Cause you just are like, yeah. Oh yeah. We're meeting up there. All right, dude. I'll meet you up there. Uh, that's great. I've seen them in a while.


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[Assistant] He's gone. You're like, just lose it. It's cause you don't understand what Memorial means.


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[Assistant] I'm telling you. And maybe they is like, they're like, yeah, that is crazy.


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[Assistant] So, here's Aaron. Justin's just passed. We got a barium Tuesday. Right. And Aaron plops in. Would you mind watching some of the Nate Land podcast?


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[Assistant] That's the only time you could show them. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Like one day in a show. How you doing Aaron Weber? Uh, they're like, who are you? You go, uh, so we're going to shoot fire. You don't even say who you are. That doesn't matter, but we're going to shoot fireworks off at your son's funeral.


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[Assistant] I think we have to tone his dad back. We have to go. You gotta- He would. Yeah.


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[Assistant] 4th of July, like July's in the middle so you're always around it and then if you're in a place that doesn't sell it, you're like, hey let's just stop and get fireworks now.


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[Assistant] She can just look at a page and she remembers every word. Yeah.


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[Assistant] God, that's so cr- alright, let's put it in the-


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[Assistant] That is a very funny joke. Yea, that's a, she would go like this. She'd go.


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[Assistant] And then be like, and you comprehended that whole thing? You go, yep.


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[Assistant] It's comprehension man. She doesn't know that. What's comprehension man? He's like, you understand it? Oh, yeah. It's just not the word comprehension.


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[Assistant] All we're doing is talking about reading. I feel a lot of pressure when I read. Yeaah. Cause I'm, I know I'm just, as I read this page, I know I'm going to forget it as I turn it. And then I'm just starting anew like the book started. I would need a book.


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[Assistant] One page long. No, if you want me to understand, uh, a book, the first chapter needs to be the same page over and over again. And I need, like, it just, and I just keep reading the same and eventually until I go like, all right, I'm good. And then I'd move on. It's like the hassle of that. I think I'd have to read it and I would start some, I barely get, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not the comments, but I get like a paragraph and I'm like, I don't know. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I feel like it's like I'm too busy or something. You know, it's like there's a lot on your mind. That's what makes you... You got a lot going on. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And like almost like you know the rest of the story. Yeah, yeah. So. And there was no mention of a second book whatsoever. That's the idea. Enraging. My theory with that idea is it's someone that's, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy writes it thinking like, you know what, we all know the Elva story where you're like, eh, no one probably really does that much. You know, not, not that, I mean, like people that were alive when he did, but you're like, so he's like, I'm going to tell, he's like, but everybody knows the end of it. I'll just tell the beginning. And then people read it. My theory is that most of them don't like it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're embarrassed to not like it. Cause it's like, the guy writes it as going, here's the beginning life of Elvis. And then all those people go, yeah, no, I loved it. It was great. And everybody's aligned everybody. You could get them all just alone. You'd be like, come on.


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[Assistant] Once a few people like something, it's like, I feel like it just goes, I have no idea.


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[Assistant] I don't know, back then I didn't feel like they would do that stuff off Pride.


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[Assistant] I mean, back then though, 250 grand probably was 10 million dollars.


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[Assistant] Stupid. Like, you know, I guarantee that we look like rednecks. So let's have a, let's class up some of these words.


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[Assistant] He goes, he went, it seems like he's really targeting a group. He goes, I'll let you do plow, you know, people that plow.


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[Assistant] Like, I mean, he, he, so this guy was gonna just, he's like, yeah, we're, we're gonna just change it everywhere. I mean, I'm going off just two choices.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the one, the manual labor farmer job, he goes, I don't care.


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[Assistant] And then Tong, he's like, uh, dude, these are, these are some of our smartest people. We are civilization. We are civilization. Let's go T-O-U-N-G. Is there an E at the end of it? Yeah. T-O-U-N-G-E.


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[Assistant] T-O-N-G-U-E. Yep. That makes sense though.


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[Assistant] But it would have been nice, but yeah, but tongue T one G it does, you know, it just sounds like we're not going to make it.


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[Assistant] I mean, I read everything for now. Like, uh, yeah, if I don't know, I'll just kind of give it a go.


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[Assistant] How does he get all the words? I mean, someone gives him, uh, does he just find them, smells them, something?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but the first guy's dictionary is like, that dude just has to do it all on his own.


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[Assistant] I guess it would take seven years because you gotta be like, well, I gotta, you know, every day I need to come home with 10 new words.


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[Assistant] Weather good, you see how he answers. Well son, does it come to, oh, he goes, coming. Alright, forget about that one. Let me put that in there.


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[Assistant] Uh, uh, what, what do you mean to announce? You know, you hear people misuse literally all the time.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like, you just, yeah, you just go, alright, that's fine. I mean, we're on our way back to T-U-N-G.


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[Assistant] You know, like I feel like that's the, we're just heading in that direction that you're going. They fought it back then and now we're just like, alright, you win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but so wouldn't that be a separate dictionary? Or is there going to be a separate section of the dictionary?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're not really making up a new word. You're going, well, it's a doorbell that also has a camera on it. Well, those are two different things. You just combined them. So why are you writing a new- Because it's a whole different-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but then you're like, they get paid by word to do this. And now they're just drumming up business. It's a doorbell camera. It's a doorbell that has a camera on it. Okay. That makes sense. But why don't we just keep the word separate in the dictionary?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like who's going to look up doorbell on its own, then go to camera and then be like, still like, I don't get it. And they go, well, come on down to this section and we'll show you the compound section. And it says doorbell camera gets up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Book. Right now, like, I like to read the book, but I've tried reading on my iPads and some, like I, I do that and I, you know, I get used to that. I've never tried a Kindle and I think I would like to try to see what that is like, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's fun. It just smells like mildew. It just smells, yeah, that's what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's cool. That was, so that one was, uh, uh, it's on the Steam Deck.


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[Assistant] And, uh, it was very, yeaah, it was crazy. I went out there and I would do it. It was so fun. They were like awesome. And it was just like, it was, yeaah, it was crazy to be like, you're just in there doing, that's the greatest gig ever. It was like just doing. The voiceover booth. I mean, yeaah, you're just in there and you're just saying all this stuff and aperture desk job.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, they wrote it like, uh, the dudes that wrote it all, like they were fans, so they kind of knew and then, but I would say there's a dead gummit in there.


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[Assistant] I don't know for sure. I thought I tried to put a folks in there before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't remember. That I don't know for sure. But it was, but they, but I mean, like, I would say what they wrote, but yeah. Yeah, it's crazy, dude. It's really cool. And, you know, uh, yeah, I haven't played the game, but it's, uh, yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it's hard to picture that though, when it's your voice.


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[Assistant] You're like, I don't, am I that? You're like, you just, but I feel, it's not like I'm like.


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[Assistant] You feel like embarrassed. You're like, I'm not this. Like this is, y'all should have got someone else. That's almost what you feel. Cause you just hear your voice and you're like, I don't know what I'm, you know. And I'm nervous that these people, you're like, you're gonna get fired, dude. You shouldn't be using me. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeah, it was great. I mean, it was, it was a very, very cool thing. It's cool to see it come out. It's like, you know, I knew about it for a little bit, obviously. And then, uh, but it came out, yeah, like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They turned it around quick, I mean the game I believe was already built, so.


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[Assistant] A book. A whole book. He would finish it. Yea, before breakfast. Possibly three books a day.


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[Assistant] So before breakfast he gets up and reads up one book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, how long was a book back then? Were they 50 pages? 40 pages?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean maybe you couldn't really talk that much, you know, it's like, he wasn't getting calls. I mean, he's got to look for it. That's true. So he's not, you know, so he's like doing, you know, you're just kind of sitting around the house. I bet it was, I mean, look, being president


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back then if you're president, it's like, it either becomes, it's either like you doing nothing or it's the craziest thing. You're in like a war. It's like, oh, you're like, yeah, I'm trying to read some books. Look at this dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they just invented cameras. And so he's like, alright, I'll get dressed up for the camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's, you know, I mean, that's why he did, yeah. What do you think? He's like, so I got to dress up and you're like, I mean, it's going to be pretty obvious. We're about to take this picture. I mean, I like, I got one of him falling asleep. I'm sure he woke up when he heard that. He just goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just the loud, like his lightning hit and he's like, ah, and he goes, what was that? And they're like, there's still a glow. The person just disappears. And then he's like, am I dreaming this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's Iceland and Seattle. Yea, Iceland and Seattle. I knew you guys close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm, why would they have that? Why do they have that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is there nothing that's ever 100% confident? If you can get to 90.99, why is that one extra just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean I was going to be like, why would y'all, why would you have it? I would say if they kept it, you'd be like, well why would you do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like just, why are you going, well, it's a, you know, it's like, I don't know, you're going to be like, some lunatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say, cool to have. I've always wanted to collect something and I don't ever, I never, I try to think what I'd want to collect and I can never find something that I'm like, I would want to get into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like did you like, I think I really would, like I try, I'm like, what would I want?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I guess I would want probably something history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time I hear about collections, I go, I want to be a click. I want to go. Like I like the idea that you're searching for something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think stuff should only go up more, cause they're, everything's going digital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, so I would imagine anything that's like, you can hold in your hands is it can only go up because everything's going to get to where eventually nothing's, we don't have any papers or something like whatever it is. And so like you're like, if you just hold onto any.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like, or go, you know, that's baseball cards I would imagine would be safe to, there's going to be a market for it. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to look at that. I thought, does that beep? Does that thing flash when we talk? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just so you know, I cut you off just to see if that would blink when I talked. That's the only reason I stopped the conversation. I was so not into it. And I go, alright, that's good enough right there. And I just said that to go, oh, I guess it does beep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just hope you go on to greatness, cause then it'll be cool that you did that. And if you don't, it's gonna be like, well that kid was a psycho.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's like something in a book like that. There's only, it can only go two ways. Like you go into greatness, it's gonna be in a museum. You're like, he came up with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That young. Yeah. But if you go onto nothing, it's like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're in prison, it'd be like, he wrote a book to his mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pickle Noah knows Ibedo, I'm not, I don't completely hate that. You're like, I'm actually on board now. I would probably, you wanna see if I can get through your book? Okay. I might be able to. You might be able to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're looking for your password, uh, for your credit cards, I think you got it right there. Pickle-nose-eye-beetle, right everybody?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, people have photogenic memories, so I think they can, like, she's like, if someone's like super smart, it's like that, but you wouldn't be like, yeah. It's like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if she can, if she knows everything, if she could pass a test, then what, who are you to say she's not reading it? You know, it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, I just want to, they should also say, well, we let her. Is it her in the green? Oh, is that her?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I definitely- Well why, you can't, is it not in the middle when they print the book out? How can you not see it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's another guy just in the same, I mean it's, it's, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I think she's the only guest is what it looks like. And there's a guy they're not showing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you would be like, well, just do Korean. Like you're, you know, it was like, that was kind of hard. I mean, that's crazy. But yeah, there's a lot happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright everybody, again, we love you. Check everybody out. Instagram, Justin Smith, Justin Smith Comedy, AaronWeber.net.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, is it? Oh yeaah, it's legit your MySpace page.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It should be a professional website, if you were spending money to go buy tickets. But yeaah, that's a cute, fun thing. Uh, is aaronweber, is aaronweber.com taking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, it looks like that. Yeaah, I mean, it's, yeaah, I mean, it's cool. Yeaah, yeaah, it's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I, I love, I get the idea. Yeah. You're at the age that you would do this. So, uh, when you're 30, maybe you just passed it. Are you, yeah, you're 30 now? Yeah, I'm 30 now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, go check it all out everybody. Uh, we love you as always. Thank you. See you next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you to our friends at Masterclass. Masterclass, learn from the pros and get unlimited access to every class. Get 15% off annual membership at masterclass.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's masterclass.com slash Nate for 15% off and finally upstart. They've helped over 1.8 million customers on their path to financial freedom. Don't wait.


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[Assistant] Check your rate today at upstart.com slash Nate. Loan amounts may vary. Go to upstart.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is alright. Yeah, I'm glad I'm out here spreading the gospel of this AI, dude. It's terrifying, it's fun, it's exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not quite what they want for sure, but it's not like you're ripping it off from somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's interesting in this thought experiment, it's, it's a group of pedestrians instead of just one person. I don't know why they had to up it like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't they say group of grandmothers and children too, if they're going to up it like this, they're going to really, it could be that group covers it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a, it's a, they're gonna calculate probability. I'd say the probability of those group, those pedestrians dying is pretty high, probably higher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then the chances of you dying from running into something in front of you. Make the car safer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you won't have to wipe out a group of innocent people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. You still get photos developed, Brian, I feel like. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got one of those for my mom where we can all send pictures to it remotely, all the kids and it just sits. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say thank you for all you guys do and think and think you do like we do think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to disagree on the whole point of the message there. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think pescatarian sounds a lot more episcopalian. I don't know. Presbyterian, pescatarian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or maybe you say a pescatarian, then that has the same rhythm as Episcopalian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a Pescatarian. I'm a Piscopalian. It's got the same rhythm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I thought it was, uh, we're talking about Catholics just eating fish on Fridays during Lent. Oh yeah. Pescetarian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I could spin that. Photogenic memory. It's just like, your memory looks so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can see it so well, it's like it, it, it, in your mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think what Nate was saying is you got July in the middle, you got new years at the end. So you're always leading up to a firework event. That was, that was what he was trying to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I think is this is a Pavlovian in the sense that a lot of people read on the toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? So you get around books, your brain's going to reverse engineer that and think we need to be on the toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was at a love's truck stop this weekend. There's a guy in the stall just on speakerphone with like his insurance company running errands on the road. Everyone can hear this. He's like, my policy number is three, four, three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're going to Netland, I think this takes us to the website. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, thanks. It is good. Might be time to get something real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got all the info you need. For me this was like, this was a way to list this stuff without feeling like I was being obnoxious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nateland is also brought to you by Masterclass. With Masterclass, you can learn from the world's best minds anytime, anywhere, and at your own pace. I took the Aaron Sorkin Masterclass. I got those videos. Aaron Sorkin, obviously, as we know, creator of the greatest television show of all time, The West Wing, and the greatest movie of the 21st century, Social Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian, uh, took Steve Martin. Yep. Masterclass. Watch those videos. Lots of great stuff. You can watch it on your phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your browser, your TV, wide variety of topics like.


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[Assistant] Negotiation, anything from that to like bread making, anything you want to become a master in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Log on there, they've got some stuff for you. Hundreds of video lessons.


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[Assistant] Whatever you're interested in, there is a masterclass for you.


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[Assistant] So check it out. Get unlimited access to every masterclass. And as a Nate Lane listener, you get 15% off an annual membership. Go to masterclass.com slash Nate now. That's masterclass.com slash Nate for 15% off masterclass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And finally, saying goodbye to high interest credit card debt is one of the first steps towards financial independence. But the interest month after month can pile up and feel like a never ending hamster wheel. That's where Upstart comes in, folks.


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[Assistant] Let's get to work with Upstart and get our personal finances in a good place. With prices rising, it's time to not get caught up in a lot of debt. I know they suspended student, student loan payments for a couple years now, but they're coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] to $50,000 without impacting your credit score.


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[Assistant] Don't wait and check your rate today at Upstart.com slash Nate. That's Upstart.com slash Nate to check your rate today. Don't forget to use our URL to let them know we sent you. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided in your loan application. Go to Upstart.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Steve Verne got the glove. He brought it to me. I have it. I have my childhood baseball glove back. Where is it? It's, it's at my house right now. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you, how would you not bring it? Yeah, cause I came, I was in Denver this morning and I came straight here so I didn't get a chance to grab it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I didn't bring my baseball glove from when I was eight to college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm glad, I'm glad we said that because I'm still getting a lot of messages people offering to go grab it for me. And I need everyone to know it's been grabbed, it's back in my hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the origin of the giant catfish myth, according to Snopes.com is, uh, there's some divers in the lakes. They had to rescue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's sort of the origin of some of these urban legends of giant catfish lurking at the bottom of the lake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was in 98. That was in 98 that was reported, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Later that weekend, then Austin, Cap City the next week. Please come to that. I'd like to move some tickets for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you can't get tickets to see Nate, see the other two thirds of the podcast. Arguably, arguably two thirds. Uh, your partners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they would go, Hey, what do you got for dessert? And I'd be like, nothing, dude. It's just a pizza, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life is busy and your well-being is important. Athletic Greens makes it so easy to get the vitamins you need every day with just one scoop. That's why they're giving you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a free one year supply of Vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase, that's AthleticGreens.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, Nate Land is brought to you by Babbel Language for Life. Right now, when you buy a three month Babbel subscription, you'll get an additional three months for free. That's six months for the price of three. Go to Babbel.com and use code Nate. That's B-A-B-B-E-L.com. Code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that he's, he's like old enough where he's the generation where like you're not allowed in the room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't know if this looks like the best game. Have you seen some of the baseball games now?


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[Assistant] It's insane. If a podcast fan is hearing this and does this for a living, would you do a ride along with them? Yeah, yeah, I would go do it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at them swimming around. 13 minutes underwater is pretty crazy.


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[Assistant] But you never let the glass touch. You put your pinky underneath it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You never let the glass touch the table. That's fine. That's how I was raised. Yeaah. Really? And what's the reason for it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well first of all, there's a practical reason you're gonna break a glass. It's gonna happen. If somebody, if everybody's slamming their little shot glass against the table. I think people are slamming them. And you know, the more you do, the less control you have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think my shot technique has anything to do with Catholicism, right? I don't think it does. It's just how I was taught.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Relax or alleviate, ameliorate, mitigate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I've never noticed where it's always the same moon that we're looking at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fossil fuels are made from decomposing plants and animals. These fuels are found in the earth's crust and contain carbon and hydrogen which can be burned for energy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I mean obviously I see it because I'm told that there's a swastika there, but I don't know if I look at that from the sky and think that's a swastika.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You actually don't go high enough in a commercial airline to see the curvature in the air. I'll listen to David.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our next partner is a product that we use every day. I use it every day. I remember looking in my cabinet, seeing all these vitamins and supplements and being frustrated how many there are. Why can't we compound them all into one thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm done. We can. This is Athletic Greens. This special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy recovering focus and aging. Taste is great. Easy to make. You just pour it, little mix of green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you put it in a bottle of water, shake it up, drink it, you're good to go. You don't have to eat anything healthy the rest of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Contains less night. You probably should. You probably should. Yea, yea. But it's all the important stuff. You're at least getting your vitamins. Oh yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It contains less than one gram of sugar, no GMOs, no nasty chemicals. It's cheaper than getting everything yourself. You just get this one thing. Subscription comes with a year supply of vitamin D right now. It is time to reclaim your health and help your immune system keep with convenient daily nutrition, especially cold and flu season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it is just one scoop and a cup of water every day. This is it. No need for a million different things. We're giving you free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you gotta do is go to AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash Nate to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. And finally, Babble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one of my biggest regrets in life is not, is not learning a language when I was younger. It's like a superpower that I could have acquired if I worked hard enough. But now you can't. But now I can with Babel. I took Latin in high school and everyone who speaks Latin died 5,000 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With Babbel, you can learn a language, uh, spoken by real people. You take lessons created by real people that speak the language. It's a language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions. It's fun, easy. They're quick, kind of bite-sized lessons, so you can kind of blow through them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And feel like you're, it's like a book with short chapters. That's the analogy I like. I think it's really a great way to learn a new language. Some of them are 15 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no AI, not a robot teaching, uh, 14 different languages. You can take Spanish, French, Italian, German. Start your new language learning journey today with Babbel. Right now when you purchase a three month subscription, you'll get an additional three months for free. That comes to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go to Babbel.com and use promo code Nate. That's B-A-B-B-E-L dot com promo code Nate Babbel. Language for life. I think I want to learn Spanish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a conspiracy theory. These oil companies are trying to get Americans fat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You tell me you don't care about Harper's kids, kids, kids, kids, kids. I can only go a little bit. Yea, when does it stop? Grandkids and then you're just done?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think there's a lesson to be learned about just like finishing what you start?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember my dad would frame it as a respect thing for my mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna sit here and eat the whole thing. And that's how you would frame it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're talking about discipline and focus and trying to improve yourself. So we've got kind of a, you want to just do like a run through of just the years of different, different stuff. 1925, the Lucky Strike cigarette brand launches the reach for a lucky instead of a sweet campaign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were trying to get, uh, you know, people to move to nicotine instead of a unhealthy snack. Their slogan, reach for a lucky instead of a sweet. The ads were designed to prey on female insecurities about weight and diet and helped usher in a wave of tobacco marketing targeted towards women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you probably, I would do this where I just kind of build these little like incentive programs with myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Instead of like, you know, if I don't get McDonald's on the way home, then I'll treat myself in this other way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd probably, I would have to set up little roadblocks like that for myself. Reward system. Yea, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's 1925. Few years later, the grapefruit diet comes out, which I know, I know from the weird Al song, grapefruit diet. I didn't know this was a real diet. It's also called the Hollywood diet. Uh, you just eat a grapefruit with every meal, apparently. Y'all heard of this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the way Brian wrote this out. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The 1963 Weight Watchers is founded by Gene Nidek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1977 SlimFast comes out. I've heard of this. A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch, then a sensible dinner becomes a diet state.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the 80s, John Reap talked about this when he was on the episode, uh, a popular appetite suppressing candy called AIDS. AIDS? A-Y-D-S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, as soon as the AIDS crisis hit, they, uh, they took it off the shelves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1982, the aerobics craze starts a kick in the high gear. Jane Fonda launches her first exercise workout called workout starring Jane Fonda, her catchphrase, no pain, no gain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what this says, according to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but there, yeah, there's a scene in your head when you hear aerobics, right? Of just a bunch of, you know, they're an outfit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, here she is, okay. But that's not- Little bit, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 83 after the Jane Fonda ride and that crazy jazzercise. I don't know a whole lot about jazzercise. I mean, I guess. I remember the name. Yeah. Do you know a lot about jazzercise?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Jazzercising. I feel like that's a word used in jokes a lot. I feel like jazzercising. It's a good like punchline word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give me a big juicy burger with lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, pickles and onions. Hold the fat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are a lot of these designed to be sustainable in the way you're just saying, or are a lot of them, this'll just get you down to a certain weight? You think somebody's just like, I'm gonna do the acting design the rest of my life?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy to think that it wasn't until 1994.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That the Guide to Nutrition Labeling and Education Act required food companies to put nutritional info in all their packaging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before 1994, you didn't have to do that, evidently. It was just the back was empty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You put whatever you want on there. Yeah, some jokes or something. Yeah, a little crossword puzzle or something. Yeah. Cartoons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would get the big malto meal.


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[Assistant] Those big bags, where it always made us laugh, where the name was slightly different. Like, instead of Cocoa Krispies, we always have Cocoa Dino Bites. And that was the cereal, dude. We'd just tear through those bags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2001, Dr. Lauren Cordain, wrote the book called the Paleo Diet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Claiming that by eating like our prehistoric ancestors will be leaner and less likely to get diabetes, heart disease, cancer and other health problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen, this is a, this is a picture of a, it's kind of hard to look at. It's a sheep that got lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I said this was 75 pounds of wool that's just carrying around on its back the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If a caribou shows up, they're like, alright, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they do look considerably different. The Ram, I mean, it's like the Ram's helmet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the White House before lawnmowers, they used to just throw a bunch of goats out on that front lawn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do they get them to eat it uniformly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got one more on here. This is the 2003, you've also heard of this, Miami's Dr. Arthur Agatsen adds fuel to the low carb craze by publishing the South Beach Diet. Seen as a more moderate version of Atkins. Still a little diet Atkins. The sexy version.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard of all these, you know, they come out and everybody's talking about them. I don't, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the difference between South Beach and Atkins is? It's a G-string and rollerblades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got some headlining dates coming up, very excited about Bristol, Tennessee, Woodstock, Georgia, Chattanooga, Tennessee, Salt Lake City, Austin, Texas, AaronWeberComedy.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. On the comedy catch, Dusty's listed as clean, family friendly and then I'm adult. Wow. Wow. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looks a little bit like him, but if you close your eyes and listen to him, he's got the same kind of inflections in his voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's tough to keep track, man. Do you do it? No, but I understand the benefit of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laughing skull in Atlanta. I think I've said this before, but their light is a big light that says, this is the light. Really big. So they're like, there's no way you miss that. It says this is the light.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love the way that he thinks though. I think you should think like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's going to pay off someday if it hasn't already in something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I collect baseball cards with the thinking that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20, 30 years from now, they'll be valuable. Yeah. They, which most of them probably won't be, but you gotta cling to that belief.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So does Pepsi send people over and they just go pick up the submarines and drive it over to the suite?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had to, I'm just thinking, well, think about it. They have to hire. It's Russian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah. I got a bunch. I like all the ingredients from the little containers. It's super easy. Uh, it's, it's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's so great. You probably didn't get much, uh, time alone in that apartment, right? So, so the second, the second you're the only one there, you're like, I'm going to make myself at home finally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been flying a lot lately for whatever reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never have. We were talking because that's the first time in like 80 episodes that we've stopped to use the bathroom. Did you know that? Yeaah. It's the first time we've done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is true. I didn't fly a lot as a kid or until the last couple years. But I've never flown more than like four hours. You can hold it for four hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By 1990, that no smoking sign was permanently lit up on all domestic


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta think everybody, everybody on earth has that moment. Like billionaires have been in situations where like they, it happens. Absolutely. You gotta go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I try to go right before I board.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A burger. Okay, I felt it in the morning too. I had that burger late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like every king, every war. Every peasant, everything. Every love, every heartbreak, everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A light year is a unit of distance, not time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A fraction of a light year, right? Obviously, because it's not, it doesn't take a year for the sun to get to us. It takes nine minutes.


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[Assistant] Everything you see in the sky at night, that's all the milky way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like a generic term. We never gave it a name. Didn't give the son a name either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, the gravitational field is the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a great video of a guy with a toilet and he's at the, he's at the equator and he has it on the north and he flushes it and then he moves it 10 feet over and flooding and goes the other way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I took a cosmology class in college, which is not cosmetology. Cosmology was just about the origins of the universe and there's a planetarium on campus and I remember one of the first things, pretty much the only thing I remember from my class was they put up what it looks like if you're on a clear night on earth.


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[Assistant] What all the stars look like. And then they go, now we're gonna increase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The brightness of all the stars that are too dim to see with the naked eye. And they just gradually, and then the whole screen was white. Because there's just so many out there that we can't see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we're gonna inhabit Mars, like, in our lifetime. He thinks we already have. People will be there. Yea, we're up there. And I think that one of, was it Saturn's moons, uh, Europa?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To change the whole atmosphere. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] But for us, like if we had a... The future is the only one that's theoretically possible, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It's fun. It's so much fun. It is so confusing though. I've watched it. But it's almost, you don't, but it like doesn't even benefit you to think about how it's working. Like you just enjoy it. Just enjoy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we got some wiggle room. Like how much? I mean, it varies pretty wildly dependent on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What time of year it is. Yeah. So it's not like we're an inch away from freezing to death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some people will think that this, this, this existence that we have now is only one of, like it continuously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just does this. Yeah. Back and forth and that we're just in one wave of it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Or just never left their planet. Like we could, if we just never left Earth, we'd die out, right? They just never left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I got a show in Charleston right after Christmas. If you're in the Charleston area, I'd love for you to come out, check my website and stuff for details. Cause I don't remember any of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been to museums with you. We were at the Great Lakes Museum in Duluth, Minnesota. Oh yeah. Yeah. We blaze right through that. Lies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So nobody's saying that these were incredibly easy things to do. You know, you're like, yeah, that's pretty impressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks. Welcome to Nate Land, uh, podcast here with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. So we wanted to also wish you Merry Christmas. It's coming up. Graham K. Happy Boxing Day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, and all the other Canadians and then all the other stuff people have. I don't know what else everybody has, but they have other stuff. Celebrate it. Merry Christmas. We love you all. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You already know DraftKings Sportsbook is an official sports betting partner of the NBA. Now is the time to get in on the action. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. Use promo code NATELAND.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I am excited to have been introduced to Athletic Greens recently. I had it today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life is busy and your well-being is important. Get Athletic Greens. Makes it easy to get the vitamins you need every day with just one scoop. Athletic Greens has given you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Visit athleticgreens.com slash Nate for a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. That is athleticgreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, uh, managing money can be hard and juggling subscriptions even harder. You forget about them, never pay for an unwanted subscription again with Truebill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to truebill.com slash nate. It could save you thousands a year. And finally,


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[Assistant] Thank you to Viori for sponsoring this episode of Nate Land. We all got some of the new fall collection and we are loving it. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Vioricloving.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75. More on that later. And here we are everybody. Welcome. My voice is all gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it gone? Sounds like. It's not the best it's ever been. It's not the best it's ever been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh? I don't know. It's been everywhere. You're screaming at the fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Screaming at the fight. Went to the UFC fight this, uh, weekend. We were in Vegas, uh, I think it just caught up. It's been, uh, on the road, nonstop, doing a lot of shows. Uh, I went to bed last night. I don't ever fall, like I never just fall asleep. Like I never just like nod all, I mean, maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if I ever do, really. I don't have, I'm just never gonna get some of the nods off. Harper's the same way now. She doesn't ever just, Harper's never like, I remember going to the one Vandy game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, it's been a run. We went to, so we went to Vegas this weekend, uh, and we did, the shows were awesome. Uh, you know, my dad and Nick were out there and we had a bunch of, you know, a bunch of buddies come out there. We, uh, I got a golf rich, rich day. We always talk about it here. Fee now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and so it was just a fun, fun weekend. And then it just added up and then here you are. UFC fight was unreal. So fun, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to one in Nashville, but I've never been to a big one. I mean, like, so the one we went in Nashville, uh, when they did it here, it wasn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, I don't know if I really knew anybody on the card or anything like that. Uh, but this was the first like big one and it was just, it's just so fun, dude. UFC is, it is moving there. It's my favorite sport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just like it so much. They have just such big fights and you kind of know them and these guys are just on another level. I mean the women fights, Amanda Nunez, she lost was a big deal because she was, she's like considered the best ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, for her to lose, it's the biggest upset in UFC history or one, or like top two maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to be there for that, and I just love how, you know, they do really good with women, uh, sports. You know, I think a lot of sports have trouble with women's sports. And uh, UFC, the tennis is really, does a really good job. And, uh, and then with, uh, this women's soccer, I guess the Olympic soccer team, but then UFC, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can hit, they headline events and you're just like, I mean, I was like, it was like awesome to get to go to see that fight. And now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, the whole thing was awesome. Got a hat. Was with Nick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Nick talks to everybody. It's just me. We had a split up, uh, we had a bunch of us come and so Laura and her friend and, uh, they, they sat in four seats and me and Nick sat in two seats. And I mean, yeah, Nick got after it and then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, uh, he just, he talks to everybody. I mean, he's just talking to everybody around us. Uh, you know, but it was fun. Everybody's yelling. It's, it's, it's an awesome, awesome experience. Uh, and you're close.