[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this thing, meanwhile, like a mechanical toy or like a physical toy, like a ball you can hold, like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she said she came in one day and the pages were all torn out and it laid into like, I found a way to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I thought about that since then. Your stretch Armstrong was torn out. That's what it was. Yeah. Red fluid covered. Yeah. She's like, is that? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, I thought about it later because I was doing a podcast and we were talking about something like this about, like, your child. Did you know you were going to be a comedian? As a child I was like, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was always like a class clown. I was trying to be funny, but I was very shy too. But I told that story, but I told that story about the thing and it made sense to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do. My wife insists. I think it's silly, but I'm okay with whatever she wants to do. But yeah, she gets, she gets them presents. And I don't think unwrap them. We unwrap them. You get into it too, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on. They get one lullaby every night. That is it though. I cut them off at one. No, uh, yeaah, we're pretty stupid for our dogs, but uh, yeaah, they get like a bungalow and something special that's not a normal treat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Like it's like, we don't have a dog anymore. Well, I'm surprised by it too, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know, a hurricane hit Lego land. They estimated the devastation is about a million square blocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a big bag of them. And I remember thinking like, this is a bad idea. You're teaching kids to eat Lego bricks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's like when you, there's a raw, like talk about dog toys. There's a dog, uh, a rawhide shoe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you can buy. And I was like, you're teaching a dog to eat shoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a shape, it's shaped like a shoe. How comfortable is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, he looks like he's looking at you like, what do you think you're doing there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys, do you guys, would you guys want an action figure of yours? Do you think that would be a good merch item maybe? Well, uh, yeah, your fans are amazing. You guys are so amazing. You guys have these cool gifts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna do like a plush doll of me, like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, if it's plush, it's like a- I don't know what plush means. You know, like it's a stuffed animal, but it's of me. Okay. Hold the microphone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time I did a show in Lincoln, Illinois, this was a few months ago, and they, it's at this, this, you know, Lincoln's a really weird town, and like, it's named after Abraham Lincoln, and so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This they were doing this and I had this bag and I was just going through and it was this weird stuff and I'm pulling and I look in it and there's a photo and I it's an old timey photo and I swear I go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this what, I was asking the opener, I go, is this what I think it is? And they go, it is, I think. And I go, this is John Wilkes Booth. They gave me a photo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a bunch of food and stuff, cookies, and then a photo of John Wilkes Booth. And then on the back it said, you killed in Lincoln.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, uh, Nicholson did that for the first Batman, the first reboot of Batman, whereas the Michael Keaton one, he said, I'll take this low salary, but I want like 5% of everything that has the Joker on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm doing, uh, some Christmas parties this weekend, but then I have a show the 15th in Franklin, uh, at Generations Church, and it's with, uh, my buddy Paul Aldrich, who's been doing it for some time there. And then I'm headlining Zanies on the 27th. So yea, come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeaah, he's, he's great. Yeah, I'm trying to, I'm trying to sell out zanies. I really wanna do it. I think we've, we've sold a few so far already, so I'm about to, I gotta fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably some truth to that, but look, when my wife comes home, it's for the same reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a super power though, the way they can smell like you just be walking and they'll just drag you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 15 feet off the path to find a Dorito or something in the, in the woods. It's amazing that dogs, I mean, bloodhounds, I think can smell like up to something like three miles away or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seeing a deer was like a big thing because they were a lot more rare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, there's just deer everywhere. The last two weekends driving to my gigs, just every mile of the interstate, there's just a dead deer on the side of the road. They're everywhere now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just, you know, translating. I have to do a lot of translating for my wife, with my family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They kinda speak different English dialects. I know about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, my uncle, I mean, he puts a dip in his mouth as soon as the last bite's made. So at the table, I mean, he's got the spit cup ready to go. He finishes his drink and that then becomes a spit cup. So that red solo cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was double duty, so my wife didn't have a chance to understand him, so there's just a lot of translating going on. Uhm, but it was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it worked out well for you. You didn't get to go to Lucy's family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now your wife has to be happy though. Thanksgiving is the one holiday you honor, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my mom's cooking would still meet your criteria.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they did? Yeah. Wow. Uh, I think it was, I think time had already expired before even that last snap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Yeah, I, uh, I saw somebody post about later, like what happened to that last pick six and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I think it ended up 27, 24. So you didn't step out of bounds?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't even take the time to look to see why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I did look up the score and they did take it off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think the clock, play clock was already, or the game clock was already at zero maybe when he snapped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think solo stove had a, uh, float in the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. Uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The back end. Well, you know, they prefer we get into the topic and have 20 seconds, 20 minutes left in the show. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who knows, but I got my information from the internet and Crocodile Dundee. When he goes to New York and he's checked into the nice hotel, he goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's two dunnies in here. And she's like, no, one dunnie, one bidet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you've had the best year in the history of the world. No, it doesn't. It's, it's not, it's not, it's not about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think P foul is the bird. Peacock is the male and P hen is the female.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think he's implying it's a big country, so people up in New York are sound different than here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was, somebody sent us a fat swimmer. It was for some small country. If you, could you Google?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying, you guys. I would kill for that body too. So, but I'm just saying, I'm trying to help Dusty out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like some rocky training. You're fighting the waves out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, alright. Alright, this week we're talking about mythical creatures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this is Rocky 4, you're training out in the mountains and he's going to have, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's some new video that's come out just in the last couple of months of a new Bigfoot video. You probably saw that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That got a lot of national news because it was out there. Now the guy even shot it said it's probably a guy in a suit, but I mean, that's pretty elaborate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it is amazing that, are they called big flits or big feet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big foots. They're never seen anywhere. I mean, it's so hard. And then the wind guys just were out in the wide open in the middle of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're really encouraged you don't leave your luggage or stuff in the car. Take it in with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you just mean you've been so busy you haven't kept up with like the latest Bigfoot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, whatever that tells you. Yeah. There was also just a new Loch Ness Monster Siding. Pretty good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, not as good as that, but usually it's nothing and this one at least you can see something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, there's a new documentary that's coming out I think next year and they just saw, I guess, something while they were out there. And they didn't get video of it, but they, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I guess you can click DNA of the water and send it to someplace in Colorado to find out what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, looks like an alligator. It's like a hippo. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, they sent off this DNA to this lab in Colorado and they said it came back algae based.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is so funny to me because I feel like they just collected some algae.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they were all excited. They're like, oh, okay, he tells us it's, it's, you know, he's an algae based monster. Uh, they like act, they spun it to make it seem like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've heard of it. But people say not. In like aeronautics?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no way you could scan that whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's why my point is they call it the Loch Ness Monster. Or Nessie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That photo is 90 years old. They think that might be a circus or not a circus, but just an elephant that they let, uh, in the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if we catch the nukles- like nest monster, we shouldn't lose him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The oceans, uh, 91%, I don't know how they know this if they don't know the species, 91% of ocean species have yet to been classified.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, more than 80% of the ocean is unmapped, unobserved, and unexplored. So that could be a lot of stuff in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are you looking that up? Why don't you tell us about it? Hello fresh, Dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remote island called Sumatra and there's a creature called the Orang Pendek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's kind of, uh, supposedly mixed between like a monkey and a human.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And for over a hundred years, local villagers, different people, tribes have said that they've spotted this thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And these, uh, these guys on this motorcycle were out riding and this is kind of recent and there's video of them like, and they see the thing running, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, I think, I think it knocked one of the guys down. This video is wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's hard to see. Watch this. Yeah, there he is. He looks back, the guy knocked down and then they kind of take off. They see him a little bit more. There he is running.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, that's true. Now, I read the comments on YouTube, people say it's fake, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't think on some remote island there could be something that we've never encountered before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm all for space exploration though, cause a lot of other stuff could happen. Asteroid could hit earth. Right. The dinosaurs could get wiped out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but it'd be more noble if you were really saying that, but you just said we should


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nailing it. Nailing it. What about like a private company like Elon Musk?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you're searching for that quote, uh, two octopus cities, um, kind of made by octopus. Am I saying, I don't know what plural, octopi?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can almost do Slay, some Lake and... Alright, nevermind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Search for extraterrestrial intelligence. But my point is that's the same thing. That's real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think humans will go to Mars in our lifetime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying living there, I'm saying the first person will go there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His buddy was the, what, screenplay? Yeah, Drew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right. We could, I mean, I'm older than any of you guys. We could have the Loch Ness Monster solved when I was a kid, if I had just got on it. So get a predator on your shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All dead. So this Colonel Remy van Leerd, he was a Belgian pilot in fighter race, fought in World War II.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Broke the soundbar. He's kinda like our version of Chuck Yeager. Very well respected guy. He said he was flying over the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, he was flying over the Congo in Africa. He said he saw a snake 50 feet long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That took a picture of it. Then he told the helicopter fly back around and get closer to take a picture of it. The snake reared up ten feet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it was going to attack the helicopter. So they got out of there. So I'm, I'm setting him up his, he's not some lunatic. He's a guy that was very well respected and says he saw this giant snake in the Congo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My point is this guy, you know, he was very credible and we don't know what's out there in the jungles either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's, he lived in a place where there were giant animals because they had their own environment. And, uh, there's places in the world where they said everything's smaller because there's not enough food to eat. So over time they evolved and there's baby pythons and baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Elephants are that baby, they're small miniature and hobbits come from there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, things can happen. You know, it could be giant things and parts of the world we don't know about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a great time too. I'll add it to my end of year airing of grievances.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're listening, that was Dusty and Nate that were on board with that. It's hard to get a diamond.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to go ahead and say Nate's not here next week, but I'm saving the comments for when Nate's back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I got, for December, I got mostly just company Christmas parties. So, fun, but you guys can't come to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're telling like the worst joke you've ever told. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's about something you maybe took pride in at the time, but now looking back, it's really cringy or whatever. Now, Brian, set the seed for this. This is so funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's kind of how you've approached having guests on this podcast from day one, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've never done anything over Zoom, and it's all people you already have a relationship with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At one point, the Dolphins in the fourth quarter, 99.7% win probability. That's pretty close to 100.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In just... The mannings across the table. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is Judd short for something? Or you just made Judd?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On their website, over 200 years of doing it. I believe you, but I don't know why they said over 200 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, NOAA's roots reach back more than 200 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that those girls thought about that the next day?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Cause I kept seeing them. Okay, maybe like a week later, do you think that they still think about it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also don't be alarmed, it's not gasoline, you know, it's just water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing wrong with it. It is what it is. It's fun to just enjoy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, even I was thinking like eastbound and down with Dan McBride, he is an over the top caricature of a southern guy. But the setting around him is just normal. It's just like, it's very realistic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so good. Sling blade too. He's the kid in sling blade. I forgot about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's spelled pecan too. You know, it's not, we're not making a crazy leap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I ever tell you about the guy who ordered Albeck steakhouse to his table at the Jacksonville comedy zone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guy ordered it on the app delivery to his table during a show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm in the lobby setting up my little merch stand and the outback delivery guy walks in and he goes, is there a show going on? I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got instruction, he brought it in. Somebody got out back to the table. Wow. Who was on stage? Henry Cho.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt bad for the delivery guy cause I go, well then you gotta go in the showroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's a show going on. He had to walk in with a big bag of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I think there were instructions in the app. You can tell them how to get there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dead weight loss is a cost to society created by market inefficiency, which occurs when supply and demand are out of equilibrium. So there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bought a, I printed posters to sell after the show and only tried to sell it one show and I didn't sell any and I just gave up. There's just a hundred and fifty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They ranked the top 23 comedy sketches of 2023. Look at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would do, we'd open one present Christmas Eve. We get to pick it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but then yeah, Christmas morning is when we go to mass, Christmas morning. I think, well, when will we go to church?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We go to church at some point. When the kids got older, we'd go to midnight mass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Church at midnight, but I know we weren't doing that when we were kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe we open a presence early enough and then go to church later. But I don't remember. I don't have memories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I don't remember like five years ago, maybe it's a reflection of me, but I don't remember church being a big part of my Christmas mornings. And I feel like we just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never really had fun at mass to be honest with you. That's not what it's about, but I don't, I don't know. By the time you're old enough to be brought, you're not like, this is cool. You're like, I'd rather be at home. The spirit of Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, imagine having kids and you wake up and they, you know, they run down to the presence and you go, no, we're going to eat breakfast first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's how my mom's family did it growing up. My mom's family's Santa Claus would come on Christmas Eve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they'd open the presents Christmas Eve and then Christmas Day itself was all about church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the presence and everything was the day before. I don't know if that's what 18%. I mean, it's a fifth of people do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was there structure to you guys opening presents as kids or was it just chaos? Everybody. I think we did. You do one at a time and you go like ascending. We do that now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't need the wish this year because I have one. Are you looking for the best gift ever this holiday?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Electric e-bikes will impress even the hardest person to shop for. There are lots of e-bikes to choose from, but there's only one electric e-bike. It's the best-selling e-bike in America and for good reason, starting at just $7.99.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These e-bikes are affordable. Plus you can get hundreds of dollars in free accessories when you purchase this holiday season at L-E-C-T-R-I-C.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ebikes.com. We love the electric e-bike and all of you will too. I've told y'all I bring mine on the road with me sometimes. I fold it in half. It fits in the back of my car and I don't have a huge car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Expedition, you can even add passenger accessories to certain models. They cost way less than the competition and like I said, they're foldable and they ship free and they have the best customer service of any company that I've ever worked with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get hundreds of dollars in free accessories with any electric e-bike purchase this holiday, including America's best selling e-bike, the XP 3.0.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Visit electricebikes.com to find the electric model for you. That's L-E-C-T-R-I-C-E-Bikes.com. They are awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there no party that wants to get kind of the beaten down one and just go, let's get this. Yeah. Charlie Brown. Yeah. There's none of that. There's none of that in you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For Michigan State University. Yeah. For the tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, see, this is what they're getting into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is a sanctioned, sanctioned, academic research from Michigan state.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put it on the tree. You have a star on the top of your tree or an angel? An angel. Angel. I've never had a star.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I've told this story before with my dad. We did Christmas lights one year and he left it up for probably three years. Christmas lights just at our house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if there's so much that it's already visible either way, it's like, you might as well just crank them on. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, God forbid we have a little holidays, you know, a little like fun and good spirits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they gotta sell their soul a little bit like Christmas did. They gotta commercialize themselves a little bit better. They gotta step it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeaah, I mean, would you expect Halloween and Christmas to back down? Cause Thanksgiving is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just kidding. According to the Catholics. Yeaah, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be happy to. As the CleverSplog, I'd be happy to do that for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, there's a naughty version of it too, on their second Christmas album.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is it, why are you rocking around the, what are you doing? Dancing around it? Like some kind of, who does that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't find that. Yeah, it did not sell well until Lee became a popular star a couple years later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, 1960, it was released in 1958.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have a heart. Maybe it's Jingle Bell Rock I'm thinking of that I don't like. That's a great song too. Yeah, it came out hard though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't mind silence. I think sometimes it's good to be silent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bing Crosby? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Okay, that's a sad song, isn't it? What's the one that's like really is actually a sad song?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams. Yeah, yeah, that's a sad one. Cause he's not home. He's in his dreams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe. I mean, when was, when was, uh, Bing Crosby?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's saying I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on me, there'll be presents under the tree, I'll be home for Christmas if only in my dreams. So he's like, I'll do all the, but like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My favorite Christmas movie. Like a movie that's about Christmas?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Yeah. Die hard. Christmas story is a big one for me. Yeah. It's a big one for our family. Yeah, I like Christmas story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Uh, this weekend, I'm in, uh, right here in Nashville. Hometown Show. Zany's Comedy Club. I'm co-headlining it with a couple buddies, Laura Peake and Casey Shornima. We're doing it all weekend. So, coming out to Zany's this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nightland Podcast is brought to you by Delete Me, Viori, Rocket Money, and BetterHelp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm Brian Bates, with, with me always is Dusty Slay. All right. Aaron Webber and Nate was fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For making a joke about Aaron being fired, for making a joke about Dusty being fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was okay. That mom comment came out of nowhere, but, uh, besides that, it was okay.


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[Assistant] I mean, closer than what you were doing. I mean, you had a idiot boy.


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[Assistant] And, uh, he's probably recording it. Probably doing Fallon right now as we speak. That's insane. Alright, back out.


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[Assistant] Well, the, the, you know, actors can't, still can't go on to promote movies or TV shows. Oh, really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just the writer's part. Just the writer's part. So if actor goes on, they have to promote a book or something not movie related. So I'm hoping this is my chance to get on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Nate probably isn't SAG, but he's not promoting the move, he's just doing stand-up.


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[Assistant] Oh, good for him. Yeaah. Uh, where were you this weekend?


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. You've kind of grown to not like him apparently. I've turned against him.


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[Assistant] I know I don't draw many people, but neither did Dusty, so why not just book me?


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[Assistant] But at least you've graduated to college football. Mine's always like, ah, high school football, big in this town.


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[Assistant] I was, uh, in Tulsa, Oklahoma on Friday with Angela Johnson at the Hard Rock Casino.


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[Assistant] If they did, I called it wrong because I just called it the Hard Rock Casino, but she sold it out and, and it was a great show. And then Saturday I was in Knoxville, Tennessee with, at the Bijou Theater where you recorded your special. Yes. With Henry Cho. And that was a great show as well. It was a really hot crowd.


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[Assistant] Had a good time. Had something on my flight. Never happened before.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I can't remember if this is my connecting flight. I think this was the two Tulsa. We were landing in Tulsa.


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[Assistant] We're almost touching down, and then the plane takes back off. And I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, are we about to have a mid-air collision or avoiding something? Did we land in the wrong city? What's going on? And it starts circling around the city. People are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of around me, you're kind of like freaking out a little bit. Like what is happening here? And we circle around the city about 10 minutes and then we finally started coming in and then the flight attendant said, probably notice what happened, blah, blah, blah. We were coming in too heavy. So we had to circle around the city to burn off some fuel before we could land.


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[Assistant] Now in my mind, we avoided near death.


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[Assistant] I get off the plane, Angela's sitting in a seat, a little bit better than mine up front, if you know what I mean.


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[Assistant] Yeah. But have you ever had anything like that where the plane has to take back off?


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[Assistant] I had a Southwest flight last week where, um,


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[Assistant] They asked me, the flight attendant asked me to sit in the middle seat.


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[Assistant] And I did it. Why? Because, so I was B58, which you get big 58, you're going to ride on the verge of being able to get a window seat or a house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you're right on that verge and sure enough, I see a seat in the back and then I'm headed back there and then I hear the flight attendant behind me say, hey, hold those two seats for these kids coming on board, like a family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's like, okay, but I still see one aisle seat very back of the plane and I go back there and there's a couple there and I'm like, is this seat taken? She's like, ask her. Talking about the flight attendant. She said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you mind sitting in this middle seat right up in front? So this, this family, these kids can all sit together. Oh, Brian.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I mean they were pretty young. Not like, I mean, I don't know, 8 or 10 or something like that.


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[Assistant] Well then the dad gets on a little bit behind and he gets, somehow gets a window seat.


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[Assistant] And then the woman, the flight attendant who asked me to sit in the middle between a rather large guy and a woman with a dog, uhm, she's like, would you rather sit in this window seat? And I'm like, yeah. And she's like, sir, would you want to move back here closer to your family? He goes, nah, I'm good.


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[Assistant] Alright, let me ask you this. You've listed your, if you ran an airport, listed things you would do. Right. I think I agree with all of them. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, couple of, well one is just a personal thing. Most of us, including myself, when you get on a flight, you put your bag in the overhead above your seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's right there, grab it and go. Instead of doing the twist, the turn.


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[Assistant] And what about this, for not in Southwest, uhm, instead of doing, how about everyone who bought a window seat?


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[Assistant] Boards first, middle seat second, aisle seat third.


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[Assistant] The thing I did where the flight attendant asked me to sit somewhere else because of kids, would you not have done it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When someone works there, asks you to do it for the sake of children, I mean, there's some pressure there.


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[Assistant] And granted, I didn't see, I hadn't seen the kids yet cause they're behind me.


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[Assistant] And then when I saw you were going, I got back to him. He's like, well, things change.


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[Assistant] Yeah. We want to jump into some comments. Let's do it.


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[Assistant] These comments. I'm sorry folks, that's the word that the guy emailed and said we shouldn't be saying the L.


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[Assistant] You're like the dukes of hazard. There was.


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[Assistant] Ferris Pusset was a little bit even before my time, but I think her poster was the most- Cindy Crawford? Ferris Pusset?


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[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, no, I had like baseball players and stuff. Dale Murphy. Yeah, guys like that.


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[Assistant] Did we finish, I'm sorry, did we finish that, what we were talking about?


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[Assistant] And this is a very powerful point I'm about to make. There was a lot of car wrecks. So, you know, you got kind of used to it. All right, go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Bill Cody, Charlie, one time, uh, Kelly Sutton, I think. Yeah, Kelly Sutton brought me up before.


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[Assistant] We've had Mike Terry before because, sorry Dusty, you've made that comment before. Have I? Yeah, I believe so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Nate sold 32,000 tickets. I sold about 300.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I uhm, some guy emailed me and looked my name up under unclaimed property in Tennessee and I had $4,000.


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[Assistant] But then this person's pointing out, well, he did get a country in South America, but you're saying that's debatable.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I don't know if that was his motivation or he just ended up there, but.


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[Assistant] Well, another name we had last week that so many people emailed us back about, Cherith Cute Story, was one of the names we read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well apparently it's one of the, it was, it's from Arrested Development.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which I've seen and I love rest development. I didn't catch on to that. Didn't pick up on it. And then the next comment was about David Cross where we talked about arrested development.


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[Assistant] I didn't love the last couple of seasons, but the first three or however many they had, I thought were great.


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[Assistant] He is, he is right though, in my mind, uh, so Magellan was the first one to sail around the, or his crew was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He died in the Philippines, but in my mind, you make it all the way back to almost mainland China, I mean Asia.


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[Assistant] You're almost made it, but that's a pretty long distance still to Spain. Uh, as he points out almost halfway. So.


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[Assistant] Well, no, I mean, I think there are parts, it's very close, right? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've heard something like that. Yeah. I'm surprised you would even.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think they thought they were all closer together, the land masses, and therefore...


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[Assistant] Ancient man, that's how they first got here.


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[Assistant] There actually wasn't a period between Germany and butt.


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[Assistant] That, that sentence kept going. Oh my gosh. So I, I put a period between Germany and butt just to give dusty a break.


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[Assistant] I can't find my car keys half the time. I can see during a war maybe something.


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[Assistant] Maybe someday you can be, but well, anyway, I thought that was interesting. Um, but you know.


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[Assistant] Well, I think that's maybe just a brand and it's almost like Band-Aid maybe. That's, it's the thing you dispose your diapers, baby's diapers. They do have one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What would you do? What would you wish for unlimited wishes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Guarantee you, you don't have to worry about getting hit by a car, blah, blah, blah. You can live till 80, but you're done. Would you take that offer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean the average life expectancy is I think like 78, something like that.


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[Assistant] I like to have the extra time to tell people about Viori. That's how much I love Viori, guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's how much I love it. I got mom Viori on today. It's Paul's here. You can enjoy. Viori, you made me, I don't know if you guys know this or not, but I had always been considered a cool guy, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we love Viori. All items they have are great. They have the core shorts. You got the core shorts, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well anyway, Viori is, I'm sure they love this ad. It's a new outlook on performance apparel. Perfect if you're sick and tired of traditional old workout gear. That's what I used to have. You know, Viori can be worn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What's an investment on your happiness? I always say that guys is an investment on your happiness. And for our listeners, they're offering 20% off of your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile, versatile, versatile clothing on the planet at vuori.com slash nate. That's vuori.com slash nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any US order over $75 and free returns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to Viori.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. I thought that was a good ad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I'm saying. My friends, you know, they think I'm cool now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't believe me here, but. Does this shirt not look cool? It doesn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so this week guys, it is this week, I believe, marks the 30 year anniversary of the release of the movie Rudy. Wow. So I thought it'd be a good time to talk about sports movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy, doing thorough research, I forgot just how many sports movies there are. There are a ton, including some that I'm like, I didn't even really think of that as a sports movie. Like Jerry Maguire.


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[Assistant] I mean, I could see both sides, but I just, that's not what I, and Karate Kid was another one, which, yeaah, I guess it's a sports movie. I just think it was a coming of age. Gladiator. You think gladiator is a sports movie?


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[Assistant] Almost to the point where it's so good, I almost don't even think of it as a sports movie. I know it is, but that movie almost transcends sports. I get that. Yeah, yeah.


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[Assistant] Well maybe stop making it after one, to be honest with you.


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[Assistant] Well the movie, it totally shi- R-Rucky One was just, uh...


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[Assistant] It was, it was totally different after Rocky 1. But Rocky 3 was also an improvement.


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[Assistant] But much more Hollywoodish, much more, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, Rocky, Rocky's great. I love, I think for me, uhm, maybe Hoosiers. Okay. Hoosiers is a good one. Why is that funny?


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[Assistant] It is. I didn't realize that, same director, same writer, same everything. It's really great. It is. It's, I think Aaron thinks that was my time.


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[Assistant] That I grew up in. Now that movie did come out when I was in high school.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Gene Hackman's incredible. He is incredible in it. And it's, I do love Rudy and I've really lately, cause I've seen Moneyball a bunch lately. I love Moneyball. The thing about, and I recently-


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[Assistant] Well, I recently watched Rudy again and Moneyball. When I was...


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[Assistant] But now these movies, uhm, I mean Moneyball is incredible.


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[Assistant] Rudy's the same way, uhm, I was reading about where they, do you know how they shot that final scene?


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[Assistant] They gave, uh, the director two games to choose from, that one in the week after, which I forgot who they were playing.


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[Assistant] Uh, but it ended up being snow in that game. So I, this was the only shot they had. And the football players said they're going in the tunnel and they see all these like, what is this? Is this one of these peewee games at halftime? And it's these actors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Notre Dame blew out Boston College. So they just start interviewing some of the actors from this upcoming movie, Rudy. Wow. And it's, and it's just, it's kind of interesting to see like NBC's footage of them out there shooting the scene. Starring that kid from the Goonies. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you had a joke about, um, remember the Titans? Right. Did you always feel that way or?


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[Assistant] Well, just, if not, I think maybe briefly, but just tell people again about how the historical inaccuracy.


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[Assistant] But you loved it when it first came out. Of course, I think it's a, it's a, especially for kids. I'm just saying, it's a fine movie.


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[Assistant] You're wise beyond your years if you as a kid saw that like, I don't know. This was me.


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[Assistant] There's some things it does, like you said about Rudy, I love, I still love Rudy, I think it's a great movie, but the...


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[Assistant] The janitor, I forgot his name, but the black man that plays the janitor.


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[Assistant] Since that movie, I don't know if that was the very first one, but there's been so many more since then where the wise old black man, and then there's spoof comedies where they even have the wise, you know, guy, that it almost seems like such a caricature now.


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[Assistant] That at the time it didn't feel that way, but now it almost seems a little different. Do you know what I'm saying?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I guess, but uhm. It's just like things become hacky at a certain point.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just tighten it up and maybe occasionally if it has the same meaning, but, but it makes it's clear. I try to keep it.


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[Assistant] Six lines are under as far as the paper goes, because that usually fills the screen. I don't know how many of that line will be on screen, but.


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[Assistant] So there's so many sports movies to talk about. Maybe we just take a sport and then name our favorite movie from that sport.


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[Assistant] I mean, my favorite TV shows are not comedies. They're Breaking Bad or- Oh, my favorite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, obviously Seinfeld and The Office, those are my favorite shows, but...


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[Assistant] Nobody nowadays talks about, hey, did you watch the last episode of some comedy?


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[Assistant] But now they're all mixed together, they're dromedies and...


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[Assistant] I mean, I think Moneyball's got some very funny scenes in it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. AFI top 100, but although I agree with you that Shaoxing.


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[Assistant] I didn't really get that movie when it came out. It's just, it's too, I don't know if I completely get it now, but it's too mystical so to speak.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's supernatural. Yeah, and I didn't really, I mean, it's like baseball transcends things, but as a kid when it came out,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I appreciate it now, but as a young guy, I like funny lines, you know, in major league where, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stuff like that.


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[Assistant] I think Moneyball's so good, but Major League's on it up there for sure.


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[Assistant] I think the Golden Globes has a new category now for stand-up comedy.


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[Assistant] Do they really? I think so. Wow. So you know, one of us could be winning the golden globe.


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[Assistant] They do so many sports documentaries and that's not exactly what you're asking, but.


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[Assistant] In that vein, a 30 for 30 or some type of documentary. Remember when Tennessee fired Butch Jones? Yes. And then they hired, I'm drawing a blank.


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[Assistant] That's never happened before. Do you remember this?


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[Assistant] Yeah, he was on the staff at Joe Paterno and that, you know, there was some allegations that he knew, you know, enough that he should have spoke up and said something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so they kind of used that and then there was just this.


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[Assistant] But I'm sure there's people in that staff who had no idea that anything was going on.


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[Assistant] It kind of portrayed him as clueless to the gravity of it. These allegations are starting to come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of sore. He's watching game film. Yeah. You know, when all this stuff's going on, it's like he doesn't get what is going on. Right. But still, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never seen it. I had no idea. It's a documentary about, uh, two young high school players, I think in Chicago and just kind of all the stuff they're going through. And it, it, I mean, it's been so long since I've seen it, but I remember at the time thinking this is so good. All right. I'll check that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's movies like, there was one with Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro where they both come out of retirement and maybe fight each other. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, do we all cover boxing? Cinderella Man was another really good one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I have danger fail, but 10 nights is a very good, funny, straight man. So what?


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[Assistant] And then there's the one with Dennis Quaid, it's a true story, the rookie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, no, I'm just saying, I don't know why I said it like that, like that's another one. But I just thought of it, another baseball movie is a story about a guy who makes it to the big leagues at like 35 years old or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was stuck in the middle seat next to the fat guy on the flight, he was watching Friday Night Lights. That movie was great. It really was. Now, I couldn't listen to it this time, but I'm looking at his iPad. There's some, talking about some great realistic football scenes in that movie. I'm like, I think this is a real game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I read that's the highest grossing sports movie ever. It's really good. If you count that as a sports movie. Wow. More than Rocky, huh?


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[Assistant] I mean, maybe just for inflation it'd be rocky, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love Robert Duvall so much. Me too. He's, yeah.


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[Assistant] No, it's a, it's a movie about an Indian girl who wants to play soccer and her parents


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't agree with it because that's not what she should be doing. She should be finding a husband and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've watched them all too. And I, the last few say, I'm like, this isn't even really good. I just watch it for nostalgia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Bill Burr joke about the first black swim team and how it's such a funny joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You know what I'm talking about? No. Just talking about how there were so many movies about the first black this, and he's like, I got to the point where I just didn't care. Like the first black swim team, it's a very, very funny joke. It made me, I was looking up lesser known sports movies, how the times have changed, uhm, oh yeaah. This came out in 1981, back in my era.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True story of the first white quarterback of the Grambling football team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one more lesser known. The fish that save Pittsburgh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, semi-professional basketball team, I think. Or struggling professional basketball team. That's fun, never heard of it. Alright, so uhm, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cars is the highest grossing sports movie of all time. The highest grossing sports comedy of all time, The Waterboy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those movies you would maybe think about, there's been numerous back in my day where it would be so cheesy. The public address announcer would also be the play-by-play announcer. So the people in the stands would be hearing, and he goes to the 10, the five, touchdown. I think there's some movie where Rob Schneider is that maybe it's the water boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't. About pool movies. Are we saying that sport? Well you said no, but now you brought it up. The hustler and the color of money. Yea, the hustler I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to go through the list here. Yeah. All right. Well, we did it. Uh, anything else dusty anymore?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was just in cross-eyed Columbus and a lot of Buckeye fans said to tell you hello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] October 27th, 28th, I'll be in Dallas and Fort Worth at Hyena's Comedy Club. November 8th, I'm headlining Zanies here in Nashville. Now I'm here at Zanies all the time for like New Material Monday or opening for you guys, but Zanies finally gave in and let me head a lot of shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron and Dusty on the show and we'll decide that. So anyway, please come to those shows. Uh oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's it. We love you. Thank you. We're having a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There it is. Oh yeaah. I can't find a higher resolution picture of this, but here's you on the panel here. Who else was on there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then it wasn't. I just taped a, uh, don't tell comedy special that I think comes out this week. It's like a shorter series. Can I tell?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were looking at the crowd of like who, who had just a bad face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're, but it's still on. They're doing reruns, right? But it's like from a different time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where were you at? I was in Texas. I did a fun run all through Texas, Dallas, Houston, and then San Antonio for the weekend. That's a lot of people came out, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think behind, you're like, you can get in there less, but there's like a thousand people show up just to stand outside the arena. You've seen those videos. That's insane. Like on the bridge and yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I'm saying a lot of people were saying, let's change the rule. Instead of it just happened and people are not happy with it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, baseball, when they change the rules, they just try it out in the minor leagues. They just roll it out to see how it will play. Yea, you can't practice. But there's no, there's no infrastructure to do that for the NFL. There's no open mic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is this, what is this, uh, a reference to when I said that the comparison was silly? Yeah. I know that. I can't remember what I said about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would he do Elmer Fudd? Because that's a, I know you didn't watch cartoons as a kid. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so he put a sound in asian. He would say, be very, very careful. But it did, in the context of Shohei Atani being a bad, it didn't seem like he was doing an asian voice. Oh wait, is that true?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember the Auburn, Oregon game, the Tostitos fiesta bowl, Brent Musburger calling the game and it was a field goal at the end of the game. And he said, this one's for all the Tostitos. And I remember that he thought of that. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody wants their, do you believe in miracles? Yes. Everybody wants their iconic line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. With him doing the fist pump as he's rounding the basses? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always so easy to read a coach's lips for football. I remember being a kid, being like, wow, they're just yelling crazy stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did playin' for the Falcons, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Held the Guinness World Record for most hours spent on US television.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, uh, debuted in 1999 and then Meredith Fier took over in 2002.


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[Assistant] They might know him as Joey Bishop Sidekick on the Joey Bishop Show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They liked it. They liked it. Appliances part two is one of the hotter episodes we've done. It was hot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it'd be fun. So this episode will be Georgia and in parentheses Regis Philbin. Featured John Griffith.


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[Assistant] When I worked at Chick-fil-A, we had one. We'd walk in and freeze it with all the chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like in space, he can't smoke a cigarette in space. Well, that's cause there's no oxygen. Yeah. And that's what I thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting question. You can smell in the spacecraft, I'm sure. But if you were just floating out in space, no helmet?


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[Assistant] There's no direct way to smell space. However, researchers have identified compounds and elements within the galaxy manner, which are also in our, the smell of our solar system is pungent because it is rich in carbon and low in oxygen.


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[Assistant] Stars have aromas reminiscent of a charcoal grill. I like the smell of a charcoal grill.


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[Assistant] In the clip that was posted, I said it when I said it correctly at first, and then I misspoke saying it the second time.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's not about you sharing a birthday, it's about any two people in the group sharing a birthday.


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[Assistant] What do you think is more ridiculous? Nate never having seen Shawshank Redemption, the number one rated movie of all time, or Brian never having seen a Foreman Grill? That one for sure.


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[Assistant] But I think usually this is just because you do usually do a great job of, uh.


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[Assistant] And then we went from there with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It just stuck out a little bit this week. It was funny. It was funny. Well, yeah, but it was great fodder for Nate's rage.


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[Assistant] Rising prices stressing you out? You bet. If you're looking for ways to cut costs, you need Rocket Money. You could be wasting money and not even realizing it. I mean, I've got a million subscriptions that I sign up for. I talk about them ad nauseam. You gotta get rid of them. Rocket Money is a personal finance app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And helps you lower your bills all in one place. Most people think they're spending $80 on the subscriptions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One sends you notifications when you've reached your spending limits. With over 3 million users and counting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's rocketmoney.com slash Nate. One more time for the fellas. Rocketmoney.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To watch your special. Yeaah, then immediately cancel. That's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's hilarious. You don't know about this thing? I never describe him physically. You can, you just can tell what he is.


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[Assistant] He was born in Georgia. Yeah. Ritesville.


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[Assistant] He's got to close. What about you put Bill Hicks up, then you throw John up after him.


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[Assistant] And then as a, and not as much time. Yeah, you could do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Woah, Bill Hicks died at 32? He was so young.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Wow. He's my age. How do you know about Bill Hicks?


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[Assistant] Number 13 on the Rolling Stones list of top comics of all time. Really? Yeah, Bill Hicks. As of 2017.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he from? He was born in South Carolina, but he relocated to Atlanta. Oh yes, I guess. I can't credit him. Young Jeezy. Young Jeezy. When he was a toddler. I feel like you're a toddler. He moved somewhere. You can take it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no. To be fair, to me it is, but, the broader public.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is- I've never seen that before. This is part of the podcast we'd love to have Dusty here for. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, is a granite monument, it is. It says was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know, I didn't know about it being blown up. But you knew what it was? Yeaah, I had heard of this before. It's Elbert County, or Elbert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you weigh 237,000 pounds?


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[Assistant] That's like one that's actually talked about. The big one. Yeaah. It's not the...


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're very, like the, uh, yeah. It's almost the fact that they don't do it makes it scarier. Elephant's the same, they don't. They would kill you out of joy. Yeah, they do it for the love of the game, they don't do it for something.


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[Assistant] The stunt itself was called off due to safety concerns. Oh.


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[Assistant] He did not swallow the title and it was widely criticized for false advertising. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's crazy. I can't find, the word survive is not even in this article.


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[Assistant] Interesting. The chain says the change is intended to create a consistent experience for both McDonald's workers and their customers at all ordering points. That doesn't sound like the truth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't claim that. Is he? He's still doing it? I think so. I think he started doing clubs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the busy fall season already starting, you might be looking for convenient meals for jam packed days. Factor is America's number one ready to eat meal kit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can help you with chef prepared, dietitian approved, ready to eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well, stay on track with a healthy, healthy lifestyle. That's the word I messed up on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Factor lets you skip the extra trip to the grocery stores, no prepping, no clean up, just put it in the microwave, or if you don't like microwaves, you can put them in the oven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Choose from 34 plus weekly flavor packed, fresh, never frozen meals ready to eat in two minutes. I love factor. I've been using it since we started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Working with Factor for years now. These are most of the meals I eat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has different plans like the calorie smart meals with around or less than 550 calories per serving or protein plus meals with 30 grams of protein or more per serving. It's delicious, it's easy, it's affordable. This September, get factor and enjoy eating well without the hassle. Ready in just two minutes, no prep, no mess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Head to factormeals.com slash nate50. Listen in, it's a little more complicated of a code than we're used to. Use code nate50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just, we're in a different age bracket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know, vanity kids. Some of the 7,100 kids. Undergraduate. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Didn't you go and see Tyler Perry live Medea live?


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[Assistant] But if you're like really dumbed and like it's, it's not good in your head. You know what I mean? Dang, I didn't think about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I haven't looked this up, I think like a checker, checkerboard? Yea. Where it's like alternating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an idiom to use to describe someone with a questionable or controversial history. The phrase originated in the U.S. and it's character, uh, I think it's just like a word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bob and I performed there and then that weekend, the 29th and 30th, I met here after in Seattle, Washington, wise guys in Salt Lake the next week. Come on out. You want to plug anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fun, uhm, you know, it's so fun just, uhm, you know, cutting on Saturday Night Live and then just seeing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like my friend out there, I was like, this is fun. Yeah. It's surreal, isn't it? Yeah.


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[Assistant] And then if the monologue bombs for some reason, now you got to do sketches. It's like if it bombs and then they're like, all right, this guy's already not been funny on his own doing the thing he does. Now we got to watch him do a thing he doesn't do. You know what I mean? You think he's even good at that? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, how'd you lose your headset? Oh, they were kind of barely on. It gets hot. I like the headphones, but it gets hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you have them on your head, they're like, they're like earmuffs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, 50. Oh, 50s. Okay. Yeah. And you're both lefties, right Brian? Yeah. There you go. We can share clubs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Similarities might end there, but yeah, I think, uh. Phil, I forgot my clouds. Can we share?


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[Assistant] Yeah, we know everything you need to know. Do you know, do y'all know enough to like, uh, understand what's going on in the game at a high level? Oh yeah. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're getting a nod of approval from the crew back there. You nailed the offside. Well, they all love soccer. In my experience, offside is when something like a thrilling play happens. I just think that's probably offside and it usually is. A lot of times it is. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. So to put, so on Instagram is 483 million followers. So just for some context, like LeBron James, for some context, Brian LeBron has 157 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like the rock has 389, so more than the rock.


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[Assistant] Stock in his account. He got there rolling out the red card for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was awful. We, uh, all of Nate Lynn did a little show together except for you, Dusty. Okay. You were gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said not to bring you, but we did, uh, our friend Johnny W did a show in Mount Julius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, uh, I had a little crowd, a crowd work moment. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, every now and then I like to, I like to see what the people are up to. Not really, but I, I, I have, uh, basically, uh, I have a bit of where I talk about Barry Bonds, the baseball player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And about how he was accused of using steroids. And I asked a retort question.


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[Assistant] To the audience, why, do y'all know why he wasn't, uh, you know, he's not in the Hall of Fame?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a kid raised his hand and I used to have children in the audience. Yeah. He raised his hand very politely. He's a good kid. So I called on him and I go, do you know? And he goes, yeah, it's because he had different color skin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, he like, you know, he mixed up. It's a kid who's obviously very aware of like the history of America, the history of baseball, but just got the players mixed up. But it just threw me for such a loop that I kind of, I had like an awkward moment with that. I got some laughs out of it. I thought, I thought I handled it okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think the, the kid was just kind of embarrassed to be, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was fun. Where did you go this weekend? I was in Cleveland, Ohio. Oh yeah. Hilarities. Did you get a bat? No, I didn't get a bat. I think you have to sell more tickets than I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, dude, what a perfect club. Yeaah. It's great there. Did you shoot a Seinfeld thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I didn't. I was only in, so the first night I was in the cabaret room, the small room, and then Sunday night for one show I got to do the main room. You didn't do a weekend, that's why you didn't get no bath. I did a weekend, just only one show in the main room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which you will get. You know what, uh, like, uh, the really good clubs, it's like the little things they do that just make you feel so good. Like the little things that make you think they're excited for you to be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when I showed up my show in the main room.


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[Assistant] The dressing room they had put, they had like a gold star on the door and they printed out one of those pictures of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From uh, my childhood basketball team. Oh yeaah. That we did on the podcast last week and they had that on the door. Oh that's awesome. Like that stuff, you show up and you're like, oh they're actually like.


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[Assistant] That stuff means so much. It probably took them, you know, five minutes to do, but that's like, that's a good club.


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[Assistant] Always been Sam. Sam is awesome. It was a really great weekend. So thanks for everybody that came.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you need help to stay focused, like we're not, like this is, you know, this is a way you can help do that. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, really great job. I should say this, I don't know, I haven't been to every airport in the country, but I flew in and out of the Cleveland airport this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Strong case for worst airport in the country. Just top to bottom bad experience. None of the employees were rude, the people weren't bad, but it's just a mess of an airport.


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[Assistant] I got a rental car, which I will never do from Cleveland again. You get in a shuttle. I hate taking a shuttle. Oh yeah. First of all. A lot of, yeah. The shuttle is so, it's so far away from the airport. We were driving there and we were like, are we just going to the Cincinnati airport to get a car? Like it's that far away. Got there. I mean, I was there this morning at 4 a.m.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just, there's no signage, nobody knows where to go, nobody knows what's the pre-check lane, nobody knows what's the re- it's just chaos like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we don't have to. No, go ahead. I know you're watching, uh, soccer. Are you watching the little league world series this weekend? I did not, but yeah, I didn't either, but they play a, they've, I saw a bit of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing I love they do now is they play a real Major League Baseball game there.


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[Assistant] All the kids are the crowd. It's like an awesome thing to do. Bryson Stott on the Phillies. Yeah. This was his baseball bat. Oh, did you see this? I saw a picture that, yeah, that's so cool. We talked about number two pencil. That's a number one pencil, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but for special games like this, they let you do whatever. And it's just a bat that looks like a number two pet. I'd never seen that before. She's like, you kids are in school, right? You know what these are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like when Michael Strahan broke the record for most sacks in the season, he broke it against Brett Favre and Brett Favre recognized the moment and basically just gave him the sack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think about that a lot with like, with these no hitters, they're, dude, these guys are trying, they're not, they don't want to be the guy that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's the pitcher have a no hitter, but I always think just let him, you know, you've already lost the game. Just let him get it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't watching the game live, I don't think, but I remember the discussion about it. All right. Uh, Kelly Ripp is cohost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Nate Bates, former mayor of Richmond, California. Snap Bates. Snap Bates. Well, his name's Nathaniel, but he goes by Nat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the best though. That's why you make fun of it. It's like the Cockney accent, you know, like if you, if you were to ask an American to do an impression of a British accent, they'd all do the Cockney, the, oh, I'm a chimney sweeper, that kind of whatever. I didn't know what Cockney was. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. But I watched a bunch of TikTok videos of going around at like soccer games and the Ireland and other, and they go, can you do an American accent? And dude, they all do a Southern accent. That's the caricature of an American, you know, speaking voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Echidnas are named after Echidna, a creature from Greek mythology who was half woman, half snake.


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[Assistant] Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. We just don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a little coyote. That's fun. Looks kinda like half coyote, half cat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think it went extinct in the fifties. No. Like, didn't it? No, we looked this up last night. Don't remember when it went extinct. 1800s or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's kind of dumb looking, maybe that's a big part of it.


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[Assistant] You want to step into Weber's etymology corner real quick? I just looked this up. Dodo. You know the word Dodo comes from? They say it's unclear, but some ascribe it to the Dutch word de door for sluggered, but it's probably more related to de dars, which literally means fat rear end. So they're literally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Picture her pointing at the, the uh, the certificate.


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[Assistant] Is that what you're saying? But there's more elevators for stairs. In the world? Just kidding. There's a lot of elevators in North Carolina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's gotta be one in these, one in every kind of city, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see, I got one coming up here in a little bit, so let's see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I want to say this, it's all the styles that are taking a lot of flack on the history of this podcast for saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That both malls and gas stations were the last great cross-section of America where all people from different backgrounds come and visit. This study just is a Harvard study. Okay. This isn't Michigan state. This is real stuff. A lot of Michigan state people were not happy with that and yeah, I don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This says, uh, a new paper finds that big chain restaurants, Applebee's, Olive Garden, Chili's, IHOP's and big chain stores have the largest positive impact on cross-class encounters and thus best bridge our current social divides. In other words, Applebee's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is the last great cross section of America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's where people are getting together. Yes. People from all different, uh, demographics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think I ever said that. I mean, I said gas stations and malls, but I like the idea of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They addressed that specifically. They said the most socioeconomically diverse places in America are not public institutions like schools and parks, but affordable chain restaurants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I thought it was funny, the dollar general and the dollar store were like, that's the, there's the most divide. Cause wealthy people don't go to the dollar general or the dollar store. I go to the dollar general, there's one right by my house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was at one point the largest cola brand in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, so this is if I, like if you were to have a meal somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, that, that's the question we're asking each individual around. Okay. Yeah. Not which is a more successful company, which has more been more innovative, which has been more influential and okay. Better parking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The experience, you know, that the, the, how efficient the drive through is. I think that should be part of the consideration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but maybe if they frame it as like, let's see what the plebes are eating. We gotta keep an eye on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'll, I'll play, uh, Devils.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is brutal. McDonald's versus Long John Silver's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They left like they're, they're fading away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Long gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think this illustrates what was probably a long running problem for Long John Silver is that the conversation of media.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, me and my RC. Was that really it? Yeah. Did they make the cars too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think the best, like RC race cars? You know what I'm talking about? Race cars? Like, like, remote control cars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see ya. We got next round, we got Jack in the Box and Bojangles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very regional, so I think a lot of listeners will have never eaten out of Bojangles. What's the best way to describe it? It's a fried chicken, biscuits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like a Dodger's chicken? Like that's Lee's chicken, isn't it? Lee's chicken in Tennessee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. On the road somewhere. It was rated the number one best fast food fried chicken in the nation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't know if that's necessarily a strength for it. We've got actually two kind of competing philosophies here. Bojangles kind of does one thing really well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chicken biscuits that counts. And then Jack in the box does a million things. Not that great. Their tacos. Great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll go with your Bojangles. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to go with Bojangles. I appreciate that. Yeah, that's good. Next one. Now this is, uh, this is interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do them fast, but I think unless there's discussion about it, then it's kind of just a waste of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a turkey sandwich. Five for $5.95. I mean they pioneered some deals out here. I think we were five for five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Place gives a deal. At the most it'd be like $2.60 for one. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sticking, I'm going Arby's. I'm going Arby's. There it is. Sorry about that. Here's, uh, probably this is the, if you're watching this on TV, this next matchup, this is like, you're going to take a break. I don't think anyone cares about this one. Subway versus Dunkin Donuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she's just not excited about either and I think Arby's just trounces whoever wins this. Subway's great. I like Subway. Subway, I think, gets trashed unfairly, but we


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're going Subway. Yeah. All right. Disappointing the big corner of the country there with that one. I'm sure we got KFC and ANW. Got to be honest with you. I only know ANW as a root beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Developed a bad connotation during the health wave of the last few decades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like it, yeaah. It's got a root beer flavor dude, don't try to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got an interesting one coming up here. Chick-fil-a versus steak and shake. Steak and shake is, it's a diner, but it's also a fast, you know, it's got a drive through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steak and shake, I will say to defend the steak and shake employees. I don't know if there's another.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They come in, they misbehave, they trash the place and they leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? I know, I'm just saying. I, I, I love the workers. So if there's slow service, there's usually one server and there's 80 people in the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I can click the other one. It's not like it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the pizza back in the day, I loved it. Who's liked it more back then than, have you had it? I haven't had it in a while. Oh, it's, it's different. Is it? It's like, it's a premium quality chain pizza place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, next we've got the, uh, the low income battle of the, we got the Taco Bell and a church's chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Taco Bell KFC. I still say Taco Bell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was making a mean joke that I regret right after I said it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's right. Yeah, people in the room have said, yeah, uh, that's one side of the bracket. How do you want to get, I mean, what do you want to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how I want to do it. Oh yea. Oh that's right. Yea, that's how you do it. This summer we've enjoyed being outside with longer days to ride our electric e-bike. Summer may be winding down, but electric e-bikes is gearing up for an endless summer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep it going and hop on the electric XP 3.0, the most popular e-bike in America. I've told you guys, we've got, I've got electric e-bike. It folds in half. I put it in the back of my car. I can take it on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever I'm in a random spot, I just take it out, I can ride around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And with ease, they have quality feature-filled models financed as low as $73 per month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it won't cost a fortune. They have a powerful removable battery that it has a surprisingly long life. I mean, you will be surprised how, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How long you can ride this thing. It has a bright LCD display, 7 speed gearing. It is just a ton of fun. You can get up to 28 miles an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that doesn't feel like fast if you're in a car, but when you're on a bike, dude, you feel like you're flying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, this is not like a shelf that you bought on. This is, it's ready to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, don't waste my time with that. Make every day feel like an endless summer vacation with an XP 3.0 from Letrick. Visit letrickebikes.com to learn more and explore the epic models Letrick has to offer. That's L-E-C-T-R-I-C.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say low average high slugging. 300 is like a good...


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[Assistant] We just got the- Oh, but you were, how old were you? 16. Oh.


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[Assistant] I think we have to pick Krispy Kreme just for that reason. How did you feel after eating 13? It didn't feel good. I went to Zany's that night.


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[Assistant] Felt it on stage. Did you do well on stage? Nah. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] We got a next match up. This is the low income bracket on the right. We got Sonic versus Sonic versus checkers.


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[Assistant] It's the same parent company just named differently in different parts of the country.


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[Assistant] I think this, this will be, uh, the, the biggest upset of this entire tournament. I think we're all agreeing that Hardee's is about to take out In-N-Out. But we don't have In-N-Out.


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[Assistant] So I saw the announcement from the governor, the governor, governor did a video. Yeah, we're going hard. He's all right. Take that in and out, dude. We're not impressed. We're not impressed. We got pizza hut and little Caesar's.


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[Assistant] I think Little Caesars is probably feeding America in a way that a lot of these other places aren't. I'm not trying to affect that into the decision.


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[Assistant] Hanging out with the dodo birds. Yeaah, I'm going, I think Zaxby's is, uh, I like Zaxby's. I'm going Wendy's. Yeaah, I'm going Wendy's too. That's what I'm saying. Zaxby's is a bit...


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[Assistant] I think we've got better chicken places already in this tournament.


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[Assistant] Okay, we've got Sonic and Hardee's. Hardee's for me.


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[Assistant] Okay, we got, uh, uh, okay, here we go. McDonald's and Arby's.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're right. Chick-fil-A Taco Bell. Chick-fil-A. Yeah. I'm gonna answer that one. White Castle and Dairy Queen. I still go White Castle.


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[Assistant] Hardee's and Little C's. I still go Hardee's. Hardee's. Hardee's. Alright, here we go. Last round. We got the final four. McDonald's and Chick-fil-A.


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[Assistant] Dairy Queen and Hardee's, we're going Hardee's. And we have McDonald's and Hardee's. And I think it's, I think it's a surprisingly close game.


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[Assistant] I think it's almost, it's disqualified though because there's no drive through.


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[Assistant] I don't, uh, are there any in Nashville? Shake Shacks? Yeah, there's one. You got Green Hills. 10 minutes from here. I've never seen one. There's one here. Cool Springs. Yeah. I've never seen one. I believe y'all.


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[Assistant] But I'm not at your own airport. You don't spend a lot of time. You know what I mean? You don't walk around.


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[Assistant] Stained Wendy's reputation for me still does still i just now found out it wasn't a true story.


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[Assistant] That Appleton club is getting Brian, Dusty, Greg Warren, me, all in the next few months. Pretty exciting. Keep working buddy. Yeah, Nate will get there someday.


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[Assistant] This weekend, very exciting weekend for me. Tomorrow night, Thursday night, I'm in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania at the Pittsburgh Improv. Friday and Saturday.


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[Assistant] I'm in Boston, Massachusetts at Laugh Boston Comedy Club. Never been there before. Sunday night I'm in Cape Cod.


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[Assistant] They're a country, I don't know if they're. I think they are, because I think technically it's Oceania is the, is the continent. Okay.


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[Assistant] While you were gone, Dusty's wife became a U.S. citizen. That is true. She's official.


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[Assistant] Well, if you do relocate, you're probably going to need a job. Maybe you want to upload to Indeed.


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[Assistant] I worked with him at Zany's and he was on, uh, flight of the concourse.


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[Assistant] Well, we did our dry bar together and he's the one that got the audience to give me the fake standing ovation.


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[Assistant] You've been buying and selling a lot on Facebook Marketplace.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I probably did. I had the guy at the southwest counter, let's check my bag, said, uh, you do comedy? And I'm like.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he recognized me and there was a pretty long line waiting and he said, I've been thinking about getting into that.


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[Assistant] And he starts asking me all these questions while people are waiting and I'm waiting. And he said, uh, I went to coffee once with.


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[Assistant] Jessica Carter, you know her and I was like, yeah, I know Jessica. And he said, she said to write all the time and.


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[Assistant] Try be clean. He's like, why would I want to do that? I want to get dirty up in here.


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[Assistant] And then like the woman next to him kind of looks over like, what is going on over here? It was a pretty lengthy conversation though, while people are waiting, but he had, he held me hostage.


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[Assistant] Do you want to say we all? I did a corporate this weekend.


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[Assistant] My rental car, and I think you mentioned briefly, this just happened to you. It wasn't full.


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[Assistant] And I didn't notice it until I was already on the road. So when I got back, I told the lady, I said, uh, Hey, um.


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[Assistant] This car, it was only two thirds full when I got it and she goes, is that more than half?


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[Assistant] And I said, yeah, yeah, that's more than happened. And, uh, she's like, what did you take a picture of it? And I was like, no, cause I just thought.


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[Assistant] You know, I could lie about anything. I could let it get down to E and say it was empty. And she's like, well, you should have taken a picture of it. Nothing I can do.


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[Assistant] I filled it back up to where it was when I got it. Oh, okay.


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[Assistant] But she still charged me for, she took some off, but they still charged me for it not being full. That's frustrating. $10 a gallon. $10 a gallon, wow.


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[Assistant] Dusty, I mean, this is an open comp, you are the Kramer of this group. Cause I listen to his other podcasts and every week there's a new thing that you got to try this Jerry. It's, it's now organic toilet paper. That's the only way to go.


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[Assistant] Spells it the same way you do. Cool it on the top, cause it's cooler at the top. Right?


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[Assistant] According to the internet, that would not work. If your house flooded, it would get in there. I don't know.


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[Assistant] Yep, my mistake. A lot of people pointed that out. Uh, it was foolish because, uh,


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[Assistant] Brisbane and Sydney are almost both twice the size of.


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[Assistant] I don't know what you just said. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Melbourne, Melbourne and Sydney are both almost twice the size of Brisbane. That's what I meant to say.


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[Assistant] Well, Brisbane's the largest. I mean, every week I have to do a crash test. I understand.


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[Assistant] So I Google something that said Brisbane was the largest city.


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[Assistant] I mean, I didn't take the, I just trusted them, but.


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[Assistant] Or that, I should say disappeared, that, the one that we never, and apparently, I look this up, people, a lot of people say, I'm going to do a Harold Holt, and that just means I'm out of here. They take a lot of things as shit.


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[Assistant] I feel like Kenzie's harsher though because of the way he died. Harold Holt could still be alive for all we know.


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[Assistant] Eddie Izzard has a very funny joke about when Britain claimed India.


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[Assistant] Uh, there's 500 million of us here already. You can't claim it. And he's like, well, do you have a flag?


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[Assistant] Cause that's all they would do, you know, put your flag down. That's what they did in Australia.


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[Assistant] I'm sure the aboriginals, I mean, cause I think we talked about James Cook, just put a flag in for Britain and on Australian aboriginals are probably like, dude, we're here. You can't just claim it.


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[Assistant] If you are picking up food for maybe a barbecue, late summer.


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[Assistant] Other apps give you points that I never know what to do with. Abata gives you real cash back that you can cash out on your Bing account, PayPal, or gift cards. And right now Abata is offering our listeners $5 just for trying Abata by using the code Nate when you register.


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[Assistant] Just go to the App Store or Google Play Store and download the free Ibotta app and use code Nate.


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[Assistant] That's I B O T T A in the Google play or app store and use code Nate. All right.