[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, maybe she can get some, she can, maybe she could do a couple of grip pipes and stuff and uh, figure out where my favorite Ferrari is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's interesting. I see how to be really dedicated to the whole thing. I mean, maybe you don't need to be big time like DC politics, you know, you can maybe get involved like with local politics or something once you have some experience. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd probably be a pretty good, like, account manager or something, off the back of being in politics, right? Cause you- I imagine most of your days are spent just dealing with people, but dealing with tricky people as well. You know, like, you're not dealing with normal people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it was such a long time ago as well, I mean, uh, Lyndon B. Johnson is what, um, he was the, uh, oh, he died in- he died in 1973, so he was-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was president of the United States from 1963 to 1969, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At last! God, justice is served! Oh man, it feels great too, holy crap. It's a dish best served. Yeah. No, thanks so much, thank you. Best served.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Geez. Yeah, it's true though, I do pay tax here, but I don't pay you pay tax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and there'd have to be some rules around, you know, like in Game of Thrones, how they can like, you know, nominate, you know, a big fucking brick shithouse of a man in their place or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't do that either. You have to fight it for yourself. So you gotta put your money where your mouth is. So if you come up with some stupid legislation and somebody wants to burn it down but that person, you know, like jogs every day and lifts weights and stuff and you don't, well, you know what I mean? Maybe you'll think twice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Berenstain Bears. They used to have those, um, they used to always have those, those cool parts of the book where they would like go into a tree, but it was like this massive underground maze complex and you'd get like the side view and it had all the furniture and shit and you could see them like running down all the holes and in the hallways and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why? Are your thoughts, is your mind occupied with too many thoughts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Did you put an S-bend on the, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could you not just poop off the side? That's disgusting. You can, but you don't know which way the currents are going. What if, uh, what if it does a roundabout and then comes back and hits you? Oh right. What if it swirls?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine you, imagine you did, you crapped over the side of the, uh, the boat and thought that was the end of it and then the perfect storm hit and just as the waves are rising, you're just outside on the boat trying to like, you know, control the rigging or whatever and all of a sudden, boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Giant turd hits you in the face. It comes off the crest of one of the waves and it's yours. You recognize that smell anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's lots, there's lots that goes into, uh, to sailing on the sea. Lots of like little rituals and good luck dances and chants and stuff like that. You know, you gotta, it's a bit, it's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do a Richard Parker while you're out there. Just get the, the tiger on the boat and the, um, you get the fish. I can't remember what he ate actually. What the hell was that movie called? What was that movie called? Life of Pi? Life of Pi, that's the one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been to Luton, uh, by the way, just, I'm just saying. I have?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna be looking for a while. I don't think Luton's that great of a place, honestly. No, I mean a good email. Alright, okay. Have you ever been to Luton, Lewis? Luton, Lewis. Lewis and Luton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but to say that you have no police or social care and it's a run down, unfunded city centre kinda contradicts anything you might say about it being a nice place. At a surface level, I would say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pick out the grand ballroom there and Strictly Come Dancing is recorded there every year at one point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would have to have a lot of drug problems to, to affect the, um, the, the, the life expectancy age to that extent, right? What's the population of Blackpool? 10?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like in the, uh, it's like in the north-east, north-east coast, above New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's, that is becoming more prevalent just in the West in general now as well. France is having problems with it. The UK of course has problems with it. You know, I don't know about Germany, but I mean last time I went to Germany,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking hell, everybody was just like young and in good shape it looked like. Maybe it was the place, I was at this huge park in Munich and it had this like really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Occasionally they had like a couple of little bits and pieces, like it was a very small reception kind of like shopfront, but they would have, sometimes they'd have like a little jewelry cabinet with like watches in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they would phone you and say it's in and then you'd have to go back and pick it up. Like they just almost did everything they could to not deliver to your house. Like I guess it was, I don't know, maybe just not the done thing at the time. I mean, this is a long ass time ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They usually have a little desk inside another big store, right? Yeah. Cause I went in, they had one in an Asda. We went into an Asda one time when we were in the UK and they had an Argos counter at the back. Yeah. Which seems weird, right? Cause like Asda kind of has everything, but yeah, there it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am forever seeking help. Like, I am not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm standing there and I'm like, I buy something and if they're, if they're not like forthcoming with help, I'm like, what the fuck do you want me to do with this now? Like I'm not caring it. You, you know what I mean? Like I will, I will get the help for sure. I'll rope other people into it as well if I have to. I can understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you lifted something so heavy that you shit your pants though? Like, that's not impressive. That's the risk, that's the risky run.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that, yeah, it's cool, but I think the problem with making a moon base is that, cause there's no atmosphere on the moon, it just gets absolutely shit on by every


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is going to hit us just gets nuked before it can even hit the ground, right? So we don't have to worry about that. But on the moon, everything's just gonna get pelted relentlessly and broken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're going to make it all with Teflon. No, but I think the idea is that they're going to stage a lot of their Mars missions from the moon. So it's going to be like a, first you enter space, and then you go to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they want to get a space station that is at the moon, like orbiting the moon. And then that's a place where craft can dock to refuel, crew can rest, resupply and stuff. And then from there...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Richard Branson's Virgin space, or Virgin Galactic, is it? Or whatever. Yeah, they laid off like 80% of their staff and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine you got to the top of that and then you did a silent takedown on the guard at the top and then dropped them down the elevator shaft, the space elevator shaft, holy crap. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When people look back at the 80s or like, well, the 90s especially now, people seem to like to look back at the 90s and think it was so jivey, but like, I don't know, I always feel like we're in the 90s somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like every, it always just feels so jivey, right? Like, uh, because we have this imagery of like really sleek advanced sci-fi from books and movies and stuff like that. And then you look at where we like, where we live in and how we do stuff and everything. It just seems like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I know, I know, I totally agree, but it is so gradual and it's taken so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, what's the, what's the Microsoft search engine one? It used to be Internet Explorer, Bing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't, uh, I can't, I can't stomach using that, uh, program at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You live in the Wild West, though, and Bounty Hunter comes to your house, you're lodged in the middle of nowhere, and shoots you, they wouldn't find your body for years, right? If ever, in some cases. It'd just be a skeleton. And then they would have to try to investigate what went on, they would never figure it out, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, okay. I have one ring, just, that's my wedding ring, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if this is personal, and I won't be too specific, but your gold is elsewhere, right? It's not like, it's not on hand, you have to travel somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happens if you want to move that gold? It's your gold. Like wouldn't you feel like shit, you're sitting on the plane and you've just got your gold with you or, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So instead of moving it, you would sell it and then maybe just buy more somewhere else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you just baked it into the walls or something though, you know, like, uh, you put it into like a wall cavity or something, you know, like made a sheet of gold and then hit it in a wall cavity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hang on a sec, I got questions here. So you're in the shower with another dude. You guys are probably both got boners. How are you pissing in someone's face with a full boner?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I'm not, I'm not entertaining anything other than...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably just laying there and sleeping for a bit, or maybe eating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know what I mean, like, if I've done the job, let's do the detective work here though, right? There's no way I'm still randy enough to entertain pissing in someone's face or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'm horny as hell and I haven't had sex yet, I might, you know, be pissing on someone's face or something. Theoretically. I never have done before. You know what I mean? Cause you're just like, holy shit, like I'm horny. I'm horny, I'll do anything, I can't wait to have sex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Smoking a cigarette and sweaty. Like, there's no way I'm in a shower with someone right after or pissing on them or entertaining any sort of randy behaviour. That's all I'm saying. You know what I mean? I question the timeline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it is like that though. I don't know if it's like that for you guys, but like for me, it definitely is. Like there's, there's like, there's a lead up and then you're, and then once you're done, you're done. Well, for me anyway, I'm just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it? I think it was, maybe not Seinfeld, but there was a show where there was this notion that if you didn't jack off, the longer you didn't jack off for, your mind would be, I don't know, more distracted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it might have been though. So like, uh, in the show, I remember the gag being they didn't jack off for a very long time and they became like a genius through it sort of thing, right? They were making, they just had this clairvoyance or something about it because they hadn't jacked off for so long. And then they finally succumbed to it and jacked off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's extremes though, there's like, on the one side there's people who just never do it, and whatever, if that's what they wanna do it's fine, but then there are issues in society now with the access to like pornography and stuff like that and porn addictions that people are just jacking off like twenty times a day, which is also- Like Terry Crews!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always a healthy medium with all this stuff. There's a healthy medium with the amount of time you play video games, with the types of food that you eat, your diet. There's always a middle ground, a healthy middle ground, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just jack off like a couple of times a week or whatever when you feel like it. Some weeks you might not want to at all and that's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could never. How the hell are you killing a deer with, like, do you have weaponry? No, unarmed. Okay, there's no fucking way. Female deer. They would out- they would- not only would they buck you, if you even got close to them, because you're not experienced enough to handle them,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm fucking so stupid. I could, I could, I could beat a shrew, okay? Like, uh, fuck no problem. I just like, you know, squeeze it hard and it's dead. Fight over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think anytime Flax attacks a town or region, it's somehow to do with football though, right? Especially in England. I don't think Flax is commenting on a place in England outside of the context of football, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a really big underground bunker data center for the bank I used to work for in Sheffield, I don't know if it's still there, but it was like state of the art, like, weather, it was like totally weatherproof, like, uhm, it had... Oh, millions of servers and stuff. No, I don't know if it's overly secret.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a cloakroom bathroom, and if the toilet is not close coupled, it'll stick out too far and block the entrance way into the full bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. This is common for kindergarten children. This is a common thing that, uh, younger children do when they go to the bathroom. Sometimes they completely de-clothe and other times they will just maybe take their pants completely off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because when you're a guy and you do a stand up piss, you can just sort of- I wear a lot of track pants, I'll be honest with you guys. So, you know, the elasticated waist. I can just pull it down slightly, get my tackle out and start pissing, albeit quite slowly these days, but I mean, it does eventually all come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do the hole in the floor, cause you can still get the S bend in the pipe work underneath the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give me a couple of, just a couple of clues and I can guess immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know man, he's uh, he's like a young, he's a young guy who maybe left home too early, like didn't have the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, uh, I feel, with dance, I feel it would be similar to being into like gymnastics or something like that, right? Like, uh, but, you know, like the type of training that you would need to do, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you'd have to do a lot of training around like whatever choreography you're doing like for the dance, but I feel like it would use a lot of the same sort of fitness and muscle groups like aerobics and whatever, you know, like you'd have to do a lot of that shit all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find now that I have three kids and I'm older, I am not ashamed of dancing at all. Like I will, I will just fucking dance, man. Like you put, put a good tune on and I'm, I'm, I'm, I wish I danced more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a question for you guys, I asked, uh, chat yesterday, this is kinda related to dancing. You know, remember Ravishing Rick Rude from, uh, wrestling? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, he did that thing and I guess like Chippendale, it seems to be a man thing to do when they're doing like a sexier dance. You put your hands, you put both your hands behind your head and then you sort of rotate your pelvis around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? What the fuck is that? And why did it ever become popular or associated with, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I said, like Chippendales or like male strippers or whatever, like who decided that this was a thing that people wanted to see or whatever? It's absurd. Bloodthrusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause I'm pretty sure bodybuilders do it sometimes too. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'm allowed one veto, I still have it. I've never used a veto in my entire 20 years of marriage. That's nice. That's pretty good. But I'm gonna use it. Don't worry. One of these days, you know, like if some shit comes up and I'm like, nah, the veto's coming out. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do not mail in about uh, potentially fighting an animal to death, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just want them bite size. Think tater tots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For everyone criticizing something like, oh, you shouldn't drink coffee because it gives you cancer. The other people are like, oh, you have to drink coffee at least once a week because it gives you energy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh. You know, like, you're like, you're like this sort of like, you know, like, uh, like, like, uh, like an ennui, you know, like, like a bit of an ennui. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I haven't had to do that in over a decade, I guess, so I'm kind of out of the diaper scene. I'm not sure of the developments and the new tech. I'm way out of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, one of the acts, I can't remember, hold on a sec, I'll find out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So first of all, sports bras are a thing for a reason. Running with boobs is very painful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel it, yes, of course. We've obviously got double H cups at our age, but it's like one of those things where the bigger the boob, the more demanding the bra. Like you need to have a real, this is a serious piece of kit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God bless him, uh, you know, it's a, it's a trial. It's hard work. Cause in order to stop them just literally slamming up and down, you have to wear a bra that like smushes them to your chest. Which can't be comfortable in itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will also say there's a lot of women's clothing that doesn't, it's designed, because fashion designers don't design clothing for the average person, do they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if you look at most models, the accepted high fashion model will barely have any boobs at all. So, a lot of the clothing will be not designed for women with boobs. That's at the high end. And then of course that filters down to what you see on the high street.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a lot of clothing you try to put it on in a fashion where it would fit you with big boobs in a bra, and instead your bra is just showing. Which is why there's this whole strapless bra thing, and those are a nightmare if you've got big boobs. Believe me, none of this is easy. It's a daily struggle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was younger, I used to wear a lot of uh, I was very skinny. I used to weigh like 10 stone, which is like 140 pounds, just soaking wet. I was like very skinny and I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's also hard for taller people, uh, to find clothes. Like, like I said, everything's made for what they see as the median. So you just look at the bang average and you'll sell more. And then, like, for example, let's try this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're trying to tune a radio, Lewis, do you tune it to just open all the bands at once? No, you narrowly tune it down. So just tailor it day by day to a different woman's name and a different way of saying that you're thirsty for that particular kind of name and see how many of that name come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you get, you get an extra three months free. You will get an extra three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got a pa- I mean, that's uh, that's Ryan Gosling and uh, Margot Robbie, right? So they're gonna cost some money, you've got all the extras and all the rest of it, the sets, the costumes, and I guarantee you, there's a million fucking effects in this film. A million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have to retroactively be like, don't worry, you're going down a year, but if we look at your year of birth, if it's before a certain point, we'll count, you know, legally you'll count as if you were allowed to do those things. Something like that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It always makes me think of The Matrix or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think they have their eggs at the start. A lot of women are gonna email and tell me I'm wrong, so I'm gonna look this up. Aww.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's interesting. I've been watching the American Gladiators documentary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is well worth a watch. It's really funny. Uhm, and it's done in that very sort of modern style with lots of animation and lots of talking heads and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was incredibly dangerous in the first couple of seasons. They had no idea how to be safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are getting badly injured and it just, it gets picked up and it's just so seat of the pants production. Uhm, I think it's, it's really interesting to see. And that's, this was only the 89 is when it started. Just go back and look and imagine that being made today. Yeah. 89 to 96 I think it ran.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also the games looked terrible and it was all so low budget and they just had to get them made to show like the pilot for example, everything looks awful, the costumes are awful, the set is terrible and all these things they just couldn't figure out and then they'd bring in this director who knows what he's doing, he's like a real weirdo. Anyway, it's really good, give it a watch, I recommend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's like a remake of Perry Mason, but it's set in the thirties, so it's like him before he became the Perry Mason that we know as a lawyer. Who the fuck is Perry Mason? He was, so, this is my thing. He's like a detective, right? Why did they call this Perry Mason? He's like a Matlock type figure. Yeah, but he's like a lawyer. Perry Mason's a lawyer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who was kind of like a shady 30s PI. It's kind of noir-ish. It's kind of weird the way it's shot and it's just, it's just odd, but it's got John Lithgow in it's fantastic. I love John Lithgow. I think he's one of the most underused actors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, what kind of store is this? Man, I don't know about you guys, but I would stick around and be like, this is fucking great. I'd be talking to everybody and be like, help me understand this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just use a rubber glove and squeeze that over your head. Too zany for me. I just like, I like to go into somewhere and stand in a long queue to talk to somebody and then when I talk to somebody I like them to not be helpful and then I like to leave angry as well. That's just what I'm used to, right? So that's what I expect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I've got some haikus. I've looked up haikus cause I was interested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right. Get them onto the podcast as well, they'll fit right in with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if Lewis was off, like really off on one, you know, like sometimes when he just goes right off on one, it could have been far worse. I think that's probably the best thing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, coulda, coulda gotten, coulda hit some new demographics for sure. I'm not apologizing. No, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think that's a good call. I think the worst case scenario is that your child is named Pimpus. Pimpus is some kind of name. Anything else I think would be fine, you know? Any old name, as long as it's not Pimpus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think anything with puss at the end of it is just- Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Middle-aged accountants in a fantasy world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I uhm, well, we had a, we had a John at our school, uh, who for the most part I liked, but he dicked us one time so hard. He was the first person who got a Super Nintendo with Super Mario World, but he did the classic. He invited us over and we thought,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is amazing. We're gonna get to play Super Mario- We're like 10 years old. We're gonna get to play Super Mario World. I can't believe it. We're so excited. We get to his house and he's like, oh, let's play outside for a bit. And we're like, oh, really? We just came over here to play Super Mario World and he had us outside for like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John, Paul, George. John, Paul and George are all very sort of standard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Names and then, but Ringo is just out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you don't, you don't get George with anything, right? Like you wouldn't have like John George. George John, boy George maybe. I think if you went for George.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a nice nickname right there. Yeah, yeah, Von G.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to know. The odds are impossible that it would just hit here, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I always envision a big one landing somewhere far away, and then much like in the opening cinematic for World of Warcraft Cataclysm, if you're familiar, when Big Tidal Wave hits Booty Bay, I imagine that's gonna happen to Jersey at some point, maybe not in my lifetime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That for me is the worst case scenario. I don't envisage actually anything impacting directly on Jersey. Cause I don't know how that would work. Like if it hit Jersey, it would, uh, would it create a, I guess it would, right? Depending on how big, if the asteroid was the size of Texas and it hit Jersey, we would just be smushed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the one, the one on Armageddon was the size of Texas, right? Right. And then they used- It didn't hit, did it? No, they had to use nuclear warheads in the middle of a love triangle to try to, uh, sort it out. And they did, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck me man. What the hell's happened to me? I lost track of like all- There's no way I watched that in the cinema when I was 18 years old. There's no way I went to see that. But I did. I did. It's the only time I've seen it. What was it like? What do you remember from that then? Well, not much. I remember, I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I think you could apply that to like, pretty much anywhere in the west right now, right? Like, the price of housing just generally is so fucking absurd, like everywhere. I don't even think you can get a place out in the middle of nowhere for cheap anymore. It's just like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, maybe it's, maybe, maybe people will be doing more portages than, uh, than they have historically, you know? Maybe people are gonna want to get really remote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, listen here, bucko. That's not how I've historically made my vast fortune. So, uh, no, I'm not, uh, with you on that one. I wanna stick to the old ways. I've only got like two years left and I wanna, I wanna, I wanna leverage maximum value out of all my shitty business decisions. So fuck you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's uh, it's, it's, let's do something that makes sense and that would benefit a lot of people and then the pushback is from one person who is a billionaire who wants things to stay the same, but because that person has way more money than everybody else. We do what they say. We do what they say, yes. Every fucking time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My god. Alright. You really ruffled some feathers there, Lewis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get that they wanna correct us though, cause it is kinda weird that we don't really know what we're talking about, but we will speak so passionately about it, you know? Like we do know what we're talking about. It's almost like a game that we play with each other where we try to convince each other of falsehoods, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, do you think like, just, again, I don't, you know, I'll say, like Flax said, I don't really know what I'm talking about, I'm just venturing, like a theory here, but do you think we're a lot more aware of violence because information spreads so quickly now as well? You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a long long time ago, maybe it was, uh, violent or less violent. I'm not too sure. It's, you know, I'm sure there's people out there who know, like the guy who emailed, whatever. But uhm, you know what I mean? That information and especially reliable information that you can, you know, really believe or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would have taken a long time to get around, right? Uh, it would have just been word of mouth and you know, maybe things would have changed or whatever, you know, the sacking of a kingdom could have been lied about easily or not spread around or whatever. Whereas if something like that happens now, you have people on the ground with drones and helicopters and the fucking internet and everything. And everybody knows the moment something happens nowadays, right? And because it's so easy to report on every single thing that happens and we do get


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blooded with every single thing that happens. It appears to be more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Violent, right? Maybe he's right. Maybe it is, it is far less violent. We just hear about everything a lot more quickly now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't actually mind being, like, corrected. I just, sometimes I'm just not sure if I'm being, you know, spun, spun a tale a bit. You know, like, if somebody, if somebody comes up to you and they're like, I'm a historian. It's like, okay, are you though? Like, I don't know if you actually are. And then like, how, how can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright everybody, the big moment, it looks like they're about to deploy the new, oh, the shuttle's cracked? Oh, I don't know what we're gonna do. Now there's no backup plan. Oh no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're just, uh, big, big plan with no contingency, just, uh, such a schoolboy air, but, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's fine, he's big, he's a lot bigger now. He's all frisky because the weather's warming up and he knows it, so he's trying to escape constantly. He's a subdued during the winter because he's meant to be hibernating, but he's still too small. But now that the weather's nice, he wants to go out, so he's been out most days. We'd take him out for a bit, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta get him like a proper run so that he can spend most of his days outside and then just bring him in at night where it's when it's safe, you know, sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, not many pelicans land in my backyard, so uhm, if one did, they could potentially take him, but in my experience, uh, most animals


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just don't understand tortoises and stay away from them. Like you see videos on the internet all the time of cats and dogs, just like, you know, they'll run right up to them and then have one sniff and just be like, and then just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not great, cause it would be, it's not that he's fast or anything, but he could just potentially wedge himself in somewhere that would be hard to get him. And, uh, and that's about it really. We just gotta, just gotta sort it out, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's basically sleeping, like, all throughout the winter, but in the summer he's outside all the time, so. He's got the biggest cage- he's got- he's got, uh, the whole world is his cage during the summer, y'know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would either, I would just look to get somewhere else. I mean, the thing is, it's not worth it. You gotta, you just gotta, whenever you have a situation like that, don't try to change it. If that person is hell bent on doing that, they're just gonna do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Find a new place. It's much easier. Just find a new place with people who aren't just like jacking off constantly in the, uh, in the, in the shared common area or whatever and uh, and just move on. Like there's no point. You gotta pick your battles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the thing is, if that's how people wanna be, then I'm sure that they could just find another flatmate who fits in better with them, rather than the person who doesn't like that, you know what I mean? Like, you just gotta leave. People are just gonna do what they're gonna do, like, you know, you just gotta find people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I personally wouldn't like it either, but at the same time, I would just leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, my longest is an 82 hour bus ride across Canada, uh, multiple times. Not, not in a bus every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 82 hours on the bus, same 82 hours in a car with my parents and my younger brother, but which would have taken us a week plus to do, but the bus was pretty much like non-stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would stop every once in a while for like a little break, go to the coffee shop or whatever. Sometimes they would change buses. Sometimes it would refuel or whatever. You could just get off and stay there and then catch the next bus that was going the same way sort of thing. But we didn't cause we were just trying to get somewhere. So yeah, it was like 80, 82 hours. Where are you going?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went from Ottawa to Victoria, British Columbia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, to visit my, uh, my, my grandmother lived in, uh, Victoria. Yeah. It was so cheap. It was 200 bucks for the ticket. For two people. So we were just like, we were pretty, pretty broke at the time. We were students.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, normally, normally people would just do a leg of it, but we, like I said, we were, we were trying to get there. So we just, we just hunkered down, got there. And then when we, we flew back on standby for cheap. So it was, we, we missed like the trip back. It was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we stayed for two weeks. Oh, okay. It was alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, I'm like chronically sleep deprived at this point in my life. So I think like, I don't know if I could do 24 hours straight. I'm probably still be pretty tired. And the thing is now as well, I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, man, long plane trips, like, I love them now. I used to hate them and now I love them. Cause it's just like, what, 11 hours and I get to sit there and nobody will ask me questions or talk to me or anything? Yes, please, I will do that, no problem. I can sleep whenever I want and just do whatever I want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, no, I'm talking about flying alone. Yeah. No, not flying with little kids. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, flying economy, you gotta just kind of hunker down. Like, uh, I just, I just try to fall asleep immediately and sleep as long as I can and then hope that it's over soon. But the, the handful of times I've flown business, it's been like, holy shit, so good. Worth it, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I vaguely remember this, you being appalled by the suggestion of an improvement, but I can't fucking remember what it was. No idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it depends, because it was, uh, it was in the news around the time. I wanna say that it was really, really early on, because I remember talking about this at length.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Around the time. This is before the garage was even completed. It was, it was still like dungeon mode in the garage. So it would have been like pretty early on I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a bunch of stuff in the news around the same time. There was the dude that got caught in the hotel room fucking his bike. His push bike. And then another dude was done for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very fu- I'd like a new chimney, um, sir, and I would like you to ensure that it is fuckable. 100% fuckable. My chimney, if you're putting a chimney in, I want to be able to fuck it whenever I want. It needs to be accessible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like a bit of paintball. Last time I did some paintball, I was, uhm, I was sore for the longest time because it was in a valley, so there was a lot of running up a hill, hiding on a hill, running back down into the valley and stuff like that, and it was fun at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For uhm, you know if you get the jump on somebody and you say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hands up, I got you. They turn and shoot you all the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just think, come on now, I got you fair and square. I could have shot you point blank and you've just dicked me by shooting me point blank when I had you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fair and square, you know what I mean? That happens a lot, I think it's an adrenaline thing or something, but that pisses me off about paintball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was reading, uh, I read, uh, The, uh, The Corner. You ever, you ever seen the, the, the mini-series The Corner or read the book The Corner?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, it's very depressing, but, uh, it's really interesting because it was, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The corner was written kind of from the, uh, the point of view of people who are, you know, living in crack houses and, and, and stuff. But there was an interesting bit from one of the homicide detectives when he was explaining like the calibers of, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of ammunition used and most people think like higher caliber is better, right? But like he was saying, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a higher caliber round, like a rifle round or something. If you get shot with that, it'll pass right through you, and it'll do a lot of damage. But he said the prob- the- the- the worst thing is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, the likelihood is yeaah, it'll do damage for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But obviously the bullet still being inside you is an issue too, right? Like they have to get that out of there because it can poison you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is insane. What an insane story. Thank you for sharing. I find stuff like that really interesting. I can't believe he pissed into a lock and opened his cell door. That's fucking insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus Christ, God. Maybe you've enabled, uh, like a whole generation of prisoners now. Everybody's gonna try the, the lockpiss trick. You know, the minute you get in, hey, peeing a lock straight away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, half of the episodes of the podcast are as well, so, I mean, you know, it's fitting. We do talk about poop a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, well, well. Hello there. Welcome back to Triforce Podcast. It's me. I hosted the most sips and uh, two Sikki Dickies. Uh, we got two, two, two real Sikki, Sikki Dickies with us today. Uh, Flax and Lewis who are sick. Hello. Hi. Listen to how sick they sound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just for some contrast, I went to the doctors yesterday. I'm not sick. I had a blood test. They did my blood pressure. My blood pressure is 110 over 70 at my age. Holy shit, man. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm alright. I don't even move. I don't know how I've done it, but there you go. Was that just like a general checkup? Or was that like, what was that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a follow-up from all of my, uh, my intrusions from, uh, months ago, if you remember. It's just a follow-up, they just want to monitor some levels and stuff, but while I was there, I was like, it was just a blood test, and it's just like, it feels like a waste of time just to go in for one thing, so I was like, can you just, like, check my blood pressure and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speak to me softly about my cholesterol levels and stuff like that, you know, like the standard stuff, and they did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you just phone up, you just phone up and you go, yeaah, just phone up and go through the automated, uh, thing, you know, it's like press one. No, that's not what happens. Four appointments. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of people, uh, dying is, is the fact that they don't go to get checked, right? Like, particularly men with, um, you know, like, uh, problems in and around their private parts and, and their asses and stuff. There's, there's a reluctance to go in to get checked, right? I feel like it's a, like an old stereotype, it's like, it'll be fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'll just go then. I mean, I don't, I mean, I'm not trying to stop you. I'm just saying, you know, don't, don't, don't enter this stuff lightly because it is, it will literally be somebody jamming their fist up your ass and having a poke around and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it's necessarily like that. I'll say that for all the stuff I had done, it was all dudes. It was all dudes that did all my stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you do see, and I think often times, for sure out there, but you do see them a lot less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of those things though, like, you're going to get something done and you think like, what if he shoves his finger up my ass and then I just cum everywhere, but like, man, it's like, it's nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So why is that? It's gotta be a shape. I'm sure we talked about, it's gotta be like a shape thing, right? No, I've got some theories about it. You think it's like a sensory thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think about those socks that have like, uh, like toe holes in them? Like, you know, like it's like a pair of gloves, but for your feet and you have-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most recent patch has changed the game quite a bit, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the whole, whole flow of it is a lot, lot more different, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could just, you could just put your feet up and uhm, you know, do whatever you like now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see if you can overcome this, this, this debilitating lurgy that you seem to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what it's like, there's a lot of different teams that need to be brought in, it's a pretty big job, so uhm, sometimes they just don't turn up, you know, so we just have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guy turns up with like a big tank on a truck and a hose and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm caught up to the point now where they're, I'm watching them as they come out, uh, cause it's the, it's the last season. It's all ending.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I think is good. It's four seasons, I think it's enough. I think it's enough. Four seasons of a show I think is pretty good. You know, you wrap up like the big storyline, get some closure, move on with your life, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was reading something about that, uhm, apparently, uhm, in Breaking Bad, after, I think it was after the first season of Breaking Bad, the writer's strike hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there were plans to, to kill off, uh, Hank Schrader in the story early, get rid of him early. And then, but because of the writer's strike, they had time to sit around and think about it and they decided not to. And then the show was as it was because of that. Kind of interesting to think, eh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm not saying that it's a necessarily good thing. I mean, it's a good thing, I guess, if the writers get what they're after, or what they're striking for in the first place. But, you know, sometimes you can get a weird outcome off the back of something unexpected, right? It's a good example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because everything would have been backed up. They would have, you know, my favorite show isn't premiering for another two years now because nobody's been working on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, with all the stuff about AI recently as well, I wonder if any cheeky chappies out there are just gonna get like, you know, use AI to finish up. Well, we were so close to finishing the script and then the writers strike hit, and uh, well, if AI is generating the rest, they're not technically writers, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, they've got like a holy ointment that they need to apply, they've got a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wants to have less working royals, he wants it streamlined, slimlined, he doesn't want-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that drives me nuts about, okay, so the whole thing, the procession itself is like, you know, it's like any royal thing where they have to go somewhere, right? They come out of Buckingham Palace in the chariot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A really boring shit, and then they leave, and then it's the same, right? It's the procession back to wherever they're going. And you saw it with the Queen and everything as well. The whole thing takes hours, and there's parts of it that are interesting enough that I don't mind watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that drives me nuts though is, and uh, forever, I fucking hate the hangers on around


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The royal family, right? I hate, I hate the filler that they use like in the coverage because it's like, it's like a 12 hour event. And so the BBC will run coverage on it for 12 hours, like throughout the duration of the event. And most of it is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ugh, god, and some people pride themselves so, so much on it too, and you just think, get a fucking life, like it's, it's just so sad, you know what I mean? Like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just loving it, loving every damn minute of it. Nah, like I said, some of it is really good. I like, I love the marching and like the music and stuff is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I wonder actually. I mean, it's a pretty big event in that it is a generational thing, right? Like, for some people, that might be the only one they ever see. You know, and like, the previous one was so long ago. My mom was up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she did, uh, she slammed out too. Then the nice thing about the concert that they do as well is they don't let anybody go on, right? Like they had Oli Mures on and I was like, aw, fuck. But he only did one song. And it was like two minutes and he's done, you know? And I think that's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, fuck. Yeah, I dunno. It was alright. I like parts of it, like I said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but I don't know. It's a weird one. There's the whole drama around Harry and Megan as well. Megan didn't go. Uh, Harry dropped in for like 10 minutes and it was his son's birthday on the same day. So he was just like, oh, I gotta get home to see my son on his birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, just fucking stay home, like, he wasn't even allowed to do half of the shit that he was normally meant to do anyway. He sat at the back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did, but I think there's definitely some indications that maybe he has like some heart problems. He's got some pretty swollen ass fingers there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before we continue, it's time for us to mention our sponsor this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let me tell you, you're lucky you're friends with me and that I'm here right now to tell you about this. You could, uh, if you use the ExpressVPN for example, you can make an encrypted tunnel. It is super secure, it's really easy to use and it works on any device.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can visit expressvpm.com slash triforce. E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash triforce. Did you get that? Yes. You've written it down? Don't put it on your laptop, that's personal information. Oh, right. Write it on paper, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I, when I do order a pizza over here, I just do it online now, like I don't even use the phone. Cause there's just a website and order it. And then sometimes I'll order like a little bit of cheeky garlic bread as well, you know? Like with my pizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I used to have to, I don't know, I mean, it's, like, I'm not, I don't do it, like, often, so, when, I guess it just resonates a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mostly, mainly like, uh, more so for you guys. That, that, the whole food delivery thing is like, really, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just not as, it's not as big, cause it's a small place, right? So, there's still a lot of, you know, people, uh, no, no. It's got, they've got our own like local food delivery thing, which is just a, you know, it just ropes in all the local restaurants and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a fairly traditional place, yeaah, I think they did a bunch of stuff for the coronation. They usually have like a big screen in like the, they, we got like the royal square, so like, they, I think,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The flash forwards are them looking back on their time lost in the, in the thing, in the, in the forest and how it's affected them and stuff. Well, that's kind of cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't see any flash forwards from them, you, you, you're like raising yourself for what they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's right, yeah. What the hell, okay, I lost, uh, I lost interest in that show when they were in the prison. Oh, everyone did. And, um, and, um, Carl's mom died. Uh, what was the, what was the other guy, the main guy, what was his name again? Um, his son was called Carl's. Carl? Yeah, Rick, it was Rick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first couple of seasons of that show I really liked. I loved everything about the setting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well I kinda pushed through the Woodbury stuff, I didn't like it. The town with the mayor and the guy that was collecting zombie heads and shit like that, I thought was just fucking stupid. The Last of Us definitely feels like a much better...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, maybe I'll watch that then. I quite like that kind of, but that silo one sounds really good. Lost West was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been watching, uh, I'm about halfway through but it's good so far. It's a documentary about the making of the movie Platoon. Okay. And it's, uh, it's, it's narrated by Charlie Sheen and it's got interviews with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of the cast, so it's got like Johnny Depp, Willem Dafoe, Charlie Sheen, a bunch of other guys that you'll, you'll recognize from a bunch of other movies that they were in, but the, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really interesting because for a lot of those guys, it was their first big movie. They were, they were not well known at the time and they were just, they were all casted up, flown out to the Philippines for a couple of months. They did actual, like a, like a condensed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it does, but I think you also open yourself up to lies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you're like the full package, you know, you're like, uh, you're, you're handsome or you're attractive, you take care of yourself, mind, body and soul, you're, you're a nice person, you're generous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how to live, laugh and love, and you have it written on each of your stairs, uh, up to your upstairs part of your house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not judging cattle, are you? You're spending time with somebody and you're hoping that you click with them. It's not really like a rating thing, is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would uh, I would feel terrible if somebody slapped me across the face in any situation, but specifically on a first date with somebody, if somebody slapped me across the face, jeez, I would, I would feel really bad about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like if that's what people are doing, then no wonder people complain about dating all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, I'm lost already. It's hard, right? I wouldn't even know. I feel like you would just try to initially sort of gauge any sort of common interests, right? But like, you know, you maybe talk about easy stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read Trump's autobiography and decided that I really want to see America made great again. How do you rate me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta be easier to meet people from people that you work with or whatever, right? Cause you already have some sort of rapport or you have at least some environmental things in common.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A tremendous amount of time with them. And even then, maybe you don't fully trust them, but you know, like meeting somebody new, I would be, I would feel like really anxious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or even, you even might luck out and meet, meet somebody who is not single.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They might have a friend or something that they can introduce you to and then at least you have a reference point back to somebody that you both know are in common or whatever, you know, like there's something there rather than just this


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly feel like, and I know this is not helpful for a lot of people, but to people who are perhaps in this situation, one thing worth thinking about is if you've met somebody and you're like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're, you're, you're, you're becoming an adult or you're, you're just, just an adult. You're at school. You've met somebody at school, for example, or whatever, and you get together and you're in a, in somewhat of a long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, I feel like that's a good one, right? You, you grow together and you adapt to each other a lot better through growing together. I think it's so much harder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I was, if I, if I'd become single right now, I would probably never speak to another person again in my whole life. I would, I would certainly not be dating. I would not be looking to, to find a partner or companion or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But maybe you might just naturally meet somebody through, y'know, like, friends, acquaintances, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a lot, right? If you lump in with somebody, and especially if you build a family with them and stuff as well, and then your marriage breaks down, fuck. I mean, the prospect of potentially doing that again, I don't know how people go on to do it again, honestly. Like, go on to have a new partner and have new children with them and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I get the, I get the appeal and stuff, but it's, you're, you're kind of, I don't know. I feel, I feel like I would, again, I would feel a bit anxious if I'd had a one night stand with somebody, right? Cause it's just, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went, we went, I've told this to you guys before, but I'm just gonna say again, we sat through the same sequence about six times because we were trying to finish these beers that we got a deal on beers that we wanted to leave before we finished them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no no, it's the same couple just banging, they're not even changing it up, it's like, it's choreographed. They're just doing the same thing. Like, they do it to music. You know, it's like, it's almost like a dance choreography, but they're just fucking. Like, it's weird. It's funny, it's funny at first and then after a while you just don't even pay attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I think you're missing? You know what I think you could really do with? I think you gotta get back with that personal trainer. You gotta get back on the wagon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever been hit on the tip of your dick before by a paintball? No. No, me neither.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But equally, I don't know how many people are gonna play Baldur's Gate 3 that would have played Starfield. I know tons of people who are just obsessed with Bethesda games. Sure. They play fucking Skyrim, they play Dora, all of it, like that's their thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's interesting because, first of all, every fight seems different, uh, because of the terrain you're on, or what they, what spells the enemy has, how they fight, or they all feel different, and none of them feel like a grind. I never felt, if I had to play this through again, I'd be like, oh, this section. You know what I mean? Like, where there's, it just doesn't feel that way. It's brilliant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The point is it overcomes that, it gamifies it, so it feels like a mobile game, your Tinder is a mobile game, blah blah blah blah blah. But the odds of you meeting someone that you get along with and wanna see again are just as slim as they are in the real world. It's just that this is an avenue to meet people. But do you think that the pressure you put on yourself is because it feels more like a game that you should be winning, and you're not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and they go for these other people instead. That's true in life. Like it's true in life. You see beautiful women and they've got a good looking bloke and you think lucky bastard, you know, and that's life. So I don't know why Tinder is the focus of that frustration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was interesting to see people love to find out the unusual endings or results of things. Uhm, but people also, it's just fun because you spend hours with these people and they either make you laugh or you really like them or you really don't like them. Sometimes the companions are kind of annoying. Sometimes you think they're fantastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think it's weird that it draws you more into the game. People can see it as a gimmick, but essentially having these relationships makes the game feel more real world. And I think that's drawn people into the characters more and made them more beloved. Because they don't just feel like Sips' companion in Starfield who's just a lump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's very easy. It's literally, I just have run a startup and it's just a button that's like a little window and I'm currently not connected. I click the button and I'm protected. Protect your neck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it essentially, it does bind you through the game to these characters and sometimes, you know, you get in a relationship with them and they're like, oh, I love you, you're fantastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you want to try and talk them out of it, and it's like, it is interesting. I think by adding that element of attachment and bonding that you get through those relationships with the characters, it makes the decisions you have to make about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there'll be, you know, there's different bits. You can just go wandering off, you can, and there'll be a little encounter there and stuff. The fights are hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but there's no sort of like, oh, you can make a shitty plus one plate armor. And honestly, selling stuff isn't that big a deal. Right. Because a lot of the time, like, there's no way to just sell stuff at camp. You have to load it onto your guy, go find a trader, sell stuff, and then, you know, and also there's an encumbered system and all the rest of it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In terms of like, goblin style looting, it's out the window. You just can't do it. Most stuff you just don't need. And I ended the game with tons of money and I was like, I didn't need half this money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing, they just don't know. So they were like, it's like nice, but you are out by a decade, like what are you thinking? But they just don't know. It's quite sweet really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Filters. They got filters. How did this happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's hilarious. Do you know what's weird though? On a lot of planes, even now, you still see little cigarette put out things. Yes. Like you still see them around. And I don't know if it's just cause it's old equipment or because they're like, they put it in because you never know. You don't get the ashtray thing, but yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's interesting, I'm wondering why this was sent. Although the topic of the um, they tried to fool me into reading it and succeeded. The subject line just says, interesting. Nice, that's all it takes. This is from Alberto.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, look, I'm not asking you. Oh, you've met us both. I'm asking the guy to think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the, the nightmare part of it is not, cause I, in, in, in reality, she would just say, no, I'm married, this is my husband. But in the night, in the dream, she's like, oh yeah, okay. And I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sweetheart, he's asking you out on a date. Are you, you like, you can't do this. She's like, oh, don't be silly. And then I was like, no, he is literally asking you out on a date and the guy will be like, cool, I'll pick you up later. And off he goes. And then I sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As someone who lives in Asia, I ju- know just how scary those things are and, uh, Julian hopes that you and your family are safe. What's the deal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not a biologist, but rather a third year chemistry student, so there's still a lot of things that cross over into my studies in the area of evolutionary biology, which is something we spoke about previously. Obviously we still haven't solved the origins of life, but one of the big mysteries of proto-biology was always the fact that all life is made up of amino acids which are left-handed only. What does that mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In fact, humans have so far found it really fucking difficult to do in every way. Uhm, think that scene in Breaking Bad in the Mexican lab where they're waiting for 98% purity after Jesse is cooked or whatever. His ability to make an anti-americally pure meth is why Walter White is a good cook. Anyway. The big question was always, without life pre-existing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think it's very mind-numbing work, but it would be like, uhm, panhandling in a way, where it's really repetitive, boring work, you're just sifting water and grain, but when you find gold, how exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this is a, this is a long one from, from Carl, but it's a good one. Uhm, first I'd like to start off by saying I'm a long time listener of the podcast. Thank you so much. Alright, so this is a pretty, this is a pretty scary story, just to preface this, so be, be ready for this. I live in a really rough area of the UK, near a coastal city, and there's a lot of gang violence around here, and just nothing really to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As I said previously, this is all a really rough area, so we went up to a group of people in desperation asking if they'd seen my son. Instead of helping us, they, uhm, they decided to try and attack us and rob us and take the very little that we had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lewis, do you want, uh, an email which is literally just flaming you for the entire thing or not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's just, this podcasts are actually two hours long. We have to edit down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I assume because the resell value is really good on them, or they're easy to break into, or whatever, I don't know what the reason is, but they are good marks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, to that. However, uh, there is a, a piece of legislation called the, I think it's these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] CAF, CAFE, something like that, rules, uhm, which is just an acronym, but essentially it's about fuel efficiency, and they, you have to have a certain amount of fuel efficiency for vehicles up to a certain size.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it did, but they fucked up all their infrastructure so badly that a lot of bridges and roads in America are not fit for purpose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To put that in perspective, they come up to my waist and weigh almost as much as I do. They're so big, they no longer fit in one of our machines. Thankfully the one I usually use and so when we get a four set, it takes forever to change them all. So they have like a machine that, I've seen it, they mount the tire on and it holds it in place and then they can remove the actual tire from the hub.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seeing as you're all middle-aged men, sorry Lewis, I don't know why she's apologizing just to Lewis. Don't apologize, it's okay. As a female tire fitter, I get a lot of old boys who come in and always say, oh, I've never seen a lady tire fit before, how'd you get into this job? Honestly, if I had a quid for every time someone asked me that, I wouldn't need to be the mythical female tire fit- tire fitter, they all seem to think I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and without fail, they appear to be Eastern European. So I don't know if they are just coming over here and this is a job they can get, or if Eastern Europe, uh, tends to have more female bus drivers. Just turns out bus drivers, yea. Yea, they, they, they keep doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were like, I was like, look, this guy's just redone the house, which I'm really grateful for because it was an eyesore. Let's get off on good terms. And we just said to him, if you are happy to pay, because we just had all this put in, if you were happy to pay for it all to be moved, go for it. And he was like, absolutely. So that was the agreement that we essentially got the file bed and all that moved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I agree. So we lost a bit of garden, they had to spend a little bit of money, but in the grand scheme of how much it cost to redevelop the house they didn't mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey guys, Justin here from New Brunswick, Canada. Just wanted to tell you guys an embarrassing story that I have as a kid, age 16. Back in 2011, I just found the Yogscast on YouTube and loved all the videos. Through a little research, I discovered that Sips was Canadian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I really related with him and you could even say looked up to him. That year I grew up the courage to message him. Sadly, I never realized back then that he more than likely had someone filtering through his Facebook page.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is titled Ringo Starr, Parking Tickets and My Dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Approaching her, he used his thick Soviet-Ukrainian accent and pulled the, I am an immigrant card. Which was true, but she was having none of it. Suddenly, no. Who should walk down the street but Ringo Starr?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A couple of interesting things you'd like to add. I thought you would find it interesting to learn that since the year 2000, all new pharmacists licensed in the US must obtain a Doctorate of Pharmacy prior to being eligible for licensure. Yeah. That's like a Masters in the UK. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, I do not spend any time counting pills or putting pills in bottles as many people assume. I'm not sure how common this is in the UK, but every hospital in the US has a team of clinical pharmacists to complete these duties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your thoughts on doctors, in quotes, being responsible for diagnosing and pharmacists knowing more about treatments is spot on. I attended four years of pharmacy school specifically focused on drug therapy on top of my bachelor's degree, whereas several of the physicians I know state that they only receive one or two semesters on drugs. A huge portion of my job is answering questions from physicians about drug therapy and so on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, they really do do more, um, than just fucking put names on- on balls of pills. I think it's a- it's a huge misconception. I feel- I feel bad for pharmacy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shout out, shout out to fans. Alright, here's uh, let's finish on this one. Uhm, I'm a fellow dad, roughly two months behind Sip's youngest, uhm, and our insights have been invaluable. Uh, please see the attached photo of a bath toy that spawned a game in our house. Here is the picture. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So imagine my avatar that you see on the trifles is like the triangle, but instead of a triangle, it's a red cup with holes at the bottom. It looks like a bucket with eyes and a nose. It kind of looks like it's wearing glasses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's the toy, and that's the game. And the question is, do we have any weird games like that, that we play with our kids?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I saw this, uh, this video, this guy was talking about, uhm, kids getting to a certain age and not wanting to, they don't eat whatever you give them. They get out of that habit. And it's around like four years old, they start being really fucking fussy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes younger, sometimes older. And sometimes not at all. But either way, uh, the explanation that people come up with for why kids suddenly become fussy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're, they're capable of moving, you know, they can look out for themselves a little bit. But our babies can't. They get to a certain age, and they suddenly are mobile, and they can be off by themselves, they've hit themselves off and come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to a lovely brand new triforce podcast here in the middle of October with your lovely friends Sips, Pyrin Flax and I. It's so nice to be here and share with you all the mundane garbage that we've been up to this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, after your recommendations. They're all cropping up now for me, the ones you recommended. Which ones did I recommend? I'm not sure I love any of them, particularly. You, like, like, man and boy go camping. Oh, those were very


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a bunch of those, isn't there, of single person living in Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things like these shows like The Apprentice are so popular, it's because you kind of know what you're going to get there within the formula. So they stick to that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I watched the Fall of the House of Usher, uh, it's on Netflix, it's like their new, uh, Haunting of Hill House type show, right? Right. Uhm, and it's Haunting of Bly Manor as well, and a few other, there's like a bunch of ones, the same guy has done recently, and this is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole idea is that there's this, even talking to you about it would spoil it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I guess, well, I guess the opening scene is not really a spoiler, is it? The opening scene is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, this patriarchal family is at the funeral of three of his kids, you know, and so you're like, oh, you know, how do they die? And then episode by episode you've.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Find out how each one of each member of the family dies. Um, and so it's like a Halloween thing for, for, for Netflix. And it's, it's honestly pretty good. I really enjoyed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I watched the whole thing in like, one day, uhm, and yeaah, I just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I liked it. It's like Edgar Allan Poe themed. It's quite dark. It's quite fun. It doesn't take itself so seriously. But of course it's ludicrous, you know, in places. You know, some of the things that happen are very supernatural themed. You know, like a lot of these haunting of Hill House, they have got some supernatural element, which means that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Ben almost walked out on it, so. Oh, sorry, yeah, the creator of the movie, the creator, not the creator of, um. Not he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought that was a stupid idea anyway. I don't think that's like on the official speech writing syllabus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it, you're right, like I think there's a bunch of things, like one is that, you know, we're all over 40, so it feels like we should know better. Two, it feels like why do you need a class? You could just watch YouTube. Three, it's like expensive. Four, it's like you have to go and see other


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. I got, I got asked to like a, um, still life drawing class and I was like, I don't think this is something I want to do. Like proper nude woman there as well. Are you sweating?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People who do this stuff, right, and are those outgoing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the other thing I would say is how incestuous they are. Like I remember my partner used to go to this class and there was a couple of them dating and then they broke up and started dating other people in the class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think addicts, a lot of people get dependent on, chemically dependent on stuff though, right? Like nicotine is the classic, obviously. And people do get, you know, I mean, alcohol, I'm sure coffee's the same and any drugs really that actually give you, change your brain chemistry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think the same thing with things like porn, like the way it makes you feel, you know, it does obviously give you like the endorphins or whatever it is that, you know, those chemicals that make you feel good. And I think you can get addicted to that if anything makes you feel good. I'm sure people get addicted to things that are bad for them all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, I guess it's, it's more if it's hurting your life and you're aware that it's hurting your life, but you can't stop it. You know, you're like, I want to stop washing so much, but I can't stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the time, yeah, I was talking to Harry about this and he was taking his little dog to a dog training class, right? Right. Because he's got Peppa who's this adorable, that little sausage dog thing. She's gorgeous. Yeah, do not deep fry that dog. Don't do it. It's so gorgeous. Anyway, they were taking her to this class and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but if you had to go to the World Tournament and host a fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but the dread, the dread makes you kind of think, oh god, you worry about this all the time, P-Flex. You always say to me, I'm an idiot at Dota, why are they even inviting me? I have no knowledge, you know, I'm not a good gamer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think also the idea of a casual fan of Dota kind of doesn't exist because you have to have, you have to have a thousand hours in it to even be like, considered to be a casual Dota player, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's really nice to see someone really good at something showing that off, right? And that's what YouTube often is, right? It is these focuses on individuals who have a passion or have experience doing something and they either want to teach you it. It's like going to a class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dota 2's been going for a long time. You're right. It was Gabe's baby, you know, back in the day. And certainly like, he was obviously a fan of that and you know, things like CS, CSGO and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it made Valve relevant. You know, they needed games for their, for their platform. Yeah, they're a, they're a platform maker really, not a game maker, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They needed something to sort of show off. Every time they bring out a new piece of hardware or something, you know, they have to make some game for it just to, just to give it that, oh here's something, it's almost like a tech demo, you know, to show off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which is amazing. Yeah, you can't have Dota 2 going on for so long without it changing. I mean, TI, what are we up to? How many? 14? 12? I mean, God, it's, it's, it's... I mean, Jiggle Jam's been going 13 years. It'll be 13 years this year and it's changed a lot and it has to, right? Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do fear always that, you know, what about the next time? You know, I fear, I worry like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things will, is it still relevant? Is this still a decent model that we're doing and how long can it last? You know, the, the jingle jam hinges on so many things in a sense, it hinges on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess my number one word is inclusion, right? We want to get as many developers to give their games, but we also want to get as many creators as possible to promote them. We want a bunch of charities and we want to be, we want something for everyone. You know, a bunch of streams that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do worry that you have to change and I fear the shape that that will take, but sometimes, you know, um, but we've seemed to have bumbled on so far. And it's the same with Yogs, you know, and everything we do, we all worry that, oh my God, what, what


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There'll be something that comes along, right? Or some way out. It's not, people will see this stuff coming usually. And it's not as blindsided. If you were a vine creator or a mixer creator, then, you know, I suppose you did build your house upon the sand, but uhm, you know, that was usually...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think you should fear the idea of educating yourself in a pointless way, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's never a bad investment to make. You know, if you're good, if you're a good content creator on one platform and you've had success, you'll find it on another platform as well. It's not like, you know, you see these people go viral on TikTok and Instagram and other things like Tom Bates' animations are so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like Joe Perra, I'm sure that that is, you know, with you talking about him and like this huge, like Schlatt is fucking the top comment on his, on this video you linked to P-Flex, you know. And he's a massive, uh, creator. One of the biggest there is at the moment on-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, the comedy special, Joe, Joe, Joe's comedy special. Joey, like, it's, it's very common to see this stuff, uhm, going on, right? Like these, these, these, the algorithm does bring out new, new, new, create new, it finds quality, uhm, dynamically. You know, you, you can,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, I don't want to say trust, but you can, it feels weirdly fairer than it's ever been. You know, back in the day it was just, you were the first one, you're big, you're the one, you know, and that's shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back in the day, there was this busted thing on the YouTube algorithm where if you replied to a video, a popular video, you would get sort of boosted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There'd be a couple of girls who looked like they were being held hostage in some Eastern European sweatshop, uhm, and they would, they would literally record a reply with them talking, they'd watch a video, not even watch it, like just reply to a video, and the thumbnail would be them with a big pair of boobs, and that was such, that would be such.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was, it was, it was just, for some reason it was this viral thing at the time that was just every big video on YouTube had some woman, multiple women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels like in XCOM as well, you're on a journey, right? And it's slow in places. I think a lot of games don't realise how


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like Starfield is the major problem where it feels like because you're constantly fast traveling, you're constantly zipping around, like there's so many mechanics in there that make the game quicker. Like for example, even just the simple aspect of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being in the pilot seat and pressing, holding E to teleport to planet, right? So you don't even have to get up. You don't have to walk to the door. You don't have to, you know, it feels like what they've done is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I started to think, there's going to be a load of mods for this that will make it a good game, and I don't want to ruin the story in this game for myself while the game is bad. Cause I, it's not bad, but it IS bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard. It's hard, but sometimes that's good. It's like, yeah, it's like installing a really hard mod for a game changes it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Ah, it's so good to have all three of us. Oh man. The boys back together. I just want to hug you both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess that's just what happens when you have like, I guess places that have more regular severe weather. Yeah. Are more resistant to this. Yeah, they won't have like a lot of loose stuff. Because they happen so rarely. Yes. It's fairly sheltered, the Channel Islands, you'd think, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's amazing how quickly like infrastructure pulls apart. You always hear about it. It's like, oh, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I suppose, yeah. If it doesn't directly impact you, you don't know about it. And as long as it's only a couple of days, I guess, you know, your oldest is long and old enough to have, um...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine if she picked up the phone and she just like had this crest full of expression on her face?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have this, it's a bit of a bad habit, but it's because we, we record, we don't cut, we don't create this fake narrative podcast, right? We just mostly, most of what the hour is goes out, right? But yeah, there is a discord lag and as a result, sometimes people will start talking at the same time, but also sometimes


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was telling me stuff that I was doing wrong, like apparently at a restaurant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, I was just like, you know, the guy would come over and I'd be like, oh, sure. And he'd look at me and I'd say, oh, can I have the, um, this or whatever. And she, and she was like, afterwards she was like, you're supposed to, you're supposed to ask if I want to order first. You know, it's like, as if, as if I'd done the etiquette all wrong. It's like, oh, I was like, I've never thought, realized that that was a thing before. It's not. It's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, these days though, by the time you actually go on a date with someone, you've got a good idea of, not that they're putting bikini pics on their profile necessarily, but a lot do, uhm, you usually have an idea of what you're working with before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't do the dinner date, that's not a thing. At least not for a first date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it's actually crazy. So, she's really nice, um, she doesn't look much like you think she would, because I think she's done quite a good job of, like, actually remaining, and I guess you have to be when you're that famous, and not fairly anonymous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is exactly what she's done. I think, I think you, I think she's made her money and is, is happy to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perhaps hide now? I don't know. I think she's uhm, I don't want to speculate, but she's obviously got a lovely house. She's got, she's really, I think her whole thing really is making stuff look beautiful. I think she's really gone through and made this house look absolutely fantastic. Like she's like playing the Sims times a hundred. You know, every room is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I didn't either, necessarily, but I'm friends with these, uhm, sort of people who know people through Comic Con and cosplaying, but she's also friends, uhm, with some LARPing people, and Duncan and Smithy have seen her on a LARP.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like, um, like, um, I imagine a sexy elf or something, I dunno, some sexy nymph. What do you think she goes as? She doesn't go as a fucking ogre.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, it goes as like Fiona, Fiona from Shrek or whatever. She definitely does some, some anyway, uh, but it was a really nice play. Everyone was like encouraged to dress up so, you know, because there were a lot of cosplay and a lot of, um, laughing people there, everyone sort of made a bit of an effort. Except for you with your teeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was very interesting, cause all the people are kind of, lots of beautiful people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then some weird people. So what, what, for example, um, when we were on holiday in, in Corfu, my friend Tom was looking up these, um, he follows a lot of these Instagram hotties, right? And so, so he was particularly, we found this one girl randomly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then she would like, she would just degrade you and spit on you, right? It was kind of awful, but also like, kind of shockingly, awful in a hot way. Right, so what is her username? Again, I'm not gonna... Spitter. There's tons of them, right? They're all over the place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was there with like, I thought she was there with her dad. Right. Um, cause, cause I thought I was gonna be the oldest guy there, you know. So you were upset to find that there was somebody else there older than you? I was, yes. I was crushed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, it was, it wasn't like, it wasn't a whole kind of, it wasn't like an orgy or anything like kind of crazily sexualised or anything, um, like you might think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might well be just the quantity of going out, like some of these guys go out every night and so there's bound to be interesting shit that happens when you do that seven days a week, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was a pretty tame party really. Everyone was really nice. They had some like little treasure hunt stuff. Belle printed out like a little, um, book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a thing, um, you know, she had like these really cool decorations, like a giant terrifying kind of fortune teller machine style jester monster thing in the basement that would flail at you. Oh, she had some great stuff. It was really, really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. They brought some people, like, people would generally bring in, sort of, plus ones, right? And so, um, they were this couple there. What were, what were, like, uh, what was the parking situation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I worry that I saw this meme on Reddit the other day, which was like, other people telling a story, and it's like, begin story, end story. Me telling a story is like, pre prologue story, you know, then like, build up to story, then like, tangent about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, as long as it's mildly interesting, that's fine. I did a brand deal this weekend for EE. It was the most corporate thing I've ever done. I felt kind of a bit like a corporate shill about it. But at the same time, it actually was kind of quite something of a bit different. So I didn't mind so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole thing was so, they basically spent, it felt like six figures on launching this EE game store. I don't know why I'm still advertising it. Never heard of it. They set up this sort of physical chest giveaway in 13 different cities, you know, with cameras and cosplayers in each.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and so we had to like, you know, go, oh, we're going over to Birmingham now seeing if anyone's got the chest, you know, we were giving out the passwords on stream and we were kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also paid to have this game made where we would play the game that they had made for the brand deal for the three hours. So it was a game that you can't get and no one else had ever met and no one else, you know, it's just a game jam type quality unity asset store game, but, and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, we had to just kind of fill and delay and try and like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say interesting things like, oh, what's everyone's first console? You know, we're kinda like, just like, padding to move us onto the next sort of thing they're showing. And it is all about just keeping up a low level pattern of what's happening. I find they do that the best on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so funny, yeah. It's good. I mean, when I was a stranger to cringe, um, and there was a few cringe moments at Belldell Freeze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, there was this, like, kid there, who was like, uhm, 18, right, and he had his girlfriend, who I assume was also 18, uhm, and we were waiting for the bathroom,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, downstairs and it was like taking a while and it's like people turning up and they're like starting to queue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this something, is this a story, is this a good story to tell if you, like, you're just doing it for the story? Are you like, you know, I had sex with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, no, we can go upstairs. I think that they've, they've, they've had parties there before, so they've, like, got these little, like, um, velvet ropes and stuff, do you know what I mean? They're well prepared for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, I feel so at home with you guys. I feel just safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's be honest, I am not, I was like, the most edge invite to this party. Okay, I'm like, friend of a friend of a friend. I'm not, I'm not Belle Delphine's friend, and uh, I was very lucky to be there, and you can't say no. If someone says


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you like to come to Beelzebub's party? You cannot say no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, there's limits, I'm not getting on a plane to go to, you know, a house party. Well, then again, maybe, maybe a good one in America. Hmm. A good house party in America, like a kegger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where, where is the, which celebrity would invite you to a house party that you would say you'd fly across the world to go to? Ah, fly across the world?