[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I only found the answer. The whole thing takes about nine minutes. From takeoff to landing. Nine minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause on the way up, it's literally a rocket being launched. So less than, so two minutes to space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, probably. Probably less than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Practice, practice, practice. Puts in the work, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it's interesting, if you're gonna play a prank like that, that's like way too high of a number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he only did both for two years. Only two seasons he pitched and hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then after two seasons he just became an outfielder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just hit. So Otani's already done more than Babe Ruth ever really did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Yeah, Babe Ruthling did both for two years. So the comparison's not even fair to Otani anymore. Yeah. And also back then, what were they throwing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, max, maybe low 80s. Yeah. Which was crazy at the time, but it's like, yeah, Ohtani threw 100 miles an hour. Ohtani threw the fastest pitch of the entire tournament and hit the hardest ball in the entire tournament. Insane. Insane. Yeah, nobody's done what he's done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We want to be like, well, why does step, why does the last step override all the other steps? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Yeah, that's the argument I remember making. Here's literally a video from GoPro of a GoPro attached to a rocket being launched into space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, I want to get the exact moment when it comes in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It would be a lot of stuff. It's obvious to me what happened. GoPro in an elaborate attempt to sell GoPros to rocket companies did this whole video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a great way to, uh, it's a great marketing tactic. I think we've, we've talked about it before. Remember when Omaha Stakes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A big story was that Peyton Manning was gonna, when he said Omaha Presnap, he was gonna get sponsored by Omaha Steaks. I don't remember that. Completely fake story. It got a ton of press for Omaha Steaks. It was never real. And then the other one I remember was Spider-Man 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A big story with Spider-Man 2 is going to put their logos on the bases in Major League Baseball games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Totally made up. People got furious about it. It's the exact same thing as this. Taco Bell buys the Liberty bill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was wondering if they make like spiral, like binders or spiral notebooks backwards for left handed people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just forget about all the real, what atrocities were being committed while that was happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet the rating matters less to how much the movie is going to make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You know? Yeaah. Now as it makes sense, it's closer, it must be closer to PG than an R, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but I, I need this. I'm in Syracuse, New York this weekend at the Funny Bone. Uh, two shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] YouTube is like that too now. If I'm like watching YouTube stuff and it's like, this was out six months ago, I'm like, ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What really makes them so great? Why do we think they're the smartest of the smart?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it's the, uh, the missile part that's given the rocket scientist the esteem or whatever because it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll kill ya. You know what I mean? I make rockets, so you say I'm the smartest or I'll blow you up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Missile seems more dangerous than a rocket to man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The goddess. Oh. Mythological goddess, Isis and Osiris. They were married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I would think. Imagine the moon. The moon's like you came all the way to space and didn't even visit me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we've had it up here all these years, but just, we've been spending all that money, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks to our friends at Helix Sleep for sponsoring this episode. You know, I got a Helix, Helix mattress recently. Now I've not had an opportunity to sleep on it, but I have gotten the pillows and the pillows are amazing. I don't know. I think you guys all have pillows. I didn't sleep on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the pillow, I mean the pillow, when you, when you get it, it's like a little airtight little sandwich bag. I was like, what is this? And then I opened it up and a pillow comes out. It's my favorite pillow now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So how will you know which Helix mattress works best for you? Take the Helix sleep quiz and find your perfect mattress in under two minutes. Your personalized mattress is shipped straight to your door, free of charge. Helix will let you try the new mattress by sleeping on it in your own home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And after and offer a 100 night risk-free trial, if you decide it's not the best fit, return it for a full refund. I took the Helix sleep quiz and was matched with a duck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And unboxing it was also amazing. It comes in a little box and then it just, it's like, when I used to move a mattress back in the day, it was real work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus, Helix mattresses are American made. That's what I'm talking about. And come with a 10 to 15 year warranty, depending on the model. And remember, you get to try it out for 100 nights, risk free. If you don't love it, I know you will. But if you don't, they will pick it up for you and give you a full refund. Refund. And listen to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helix is offering, this is big, Helix is offering up to $350 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. I mean pillows are like, a good pillow is like 50 bucks a piece.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to helix.helixsleep.com slash nate. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. That's helixsleep.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm sorry. The way that was worded to her dismay, she woke up January 1st, 2000 with really high blood sugar. She passed away a few years ago. It just seemed like they just came like together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, nectarine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking for some reason I was thinking of pomegranate when they said that. Okay. But yeah, like the neck inside there. Yeah. You can eat, uh, yeah, you can eat almost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in prison you get to decide who you want to be in a cell with? Eventually. You're like walking around going, you know what, would you like to be roommates? I think you become buddies with someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy says jail is worse than prison?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was only in there for seven, eight hours. Okay. It's a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I knew, you know, a person in there, small town stuff, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there was four people in there counting me. It was a small cell with four people in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's also, I just got three syllables, the whole name. You know, that's nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So how many people in Lebanon are calling you Brian? Nobody. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's gla- those glasses look like they taint in the sun too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know. Congratulations. And you could be that and then not be happy and then you'd still be that. So you might as well be happy, right? Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. It's amazing. There he is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that if you were doing cruises, you also had to be like actively doing land shows too because you get on the cruise and then like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want to do well. And so you start catering your material just for the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then if you do that too long, then you're back on land and you're like, oh, these jokes are not working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Might throw a corporate C in there too. Throw a corporate in there. Wow, the five C's. Oh dang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean if you're a party or two and you're like, and you like traveling like that, I mean I think cruises would be awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Maybe there's more to it. I don't know. What happened with the fight? I mean, did it break up the fight?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would think that he ran over there to say that. Just to like distract them. Diffuse it with some comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jimmy, actually I knew a Jimmy that was a girl, but it was not James. See, Jimmy's just as close to Jamie as James is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they were, yeah, they were sisters. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like when you ask how's the family matter of fact, you're like hoping that it's just good. You're not like if they're like, actually everything's in shambles. You're like, not for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think about making Anderson a middle name, first name Arne. And then it could be like the four horsemen, Arne Anderson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drops off pretty good after that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Andy Huffton. Andy Huffton's a good name. You could go Ander. Yea, Ander. Really keep it unique. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could say, you could say, this is my daughter and her son. Anderson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never heard that. I have heard of some people painting and selling their paintings for really a lot of money where it's like, that seems sketchy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there is something to spending money on good art, but obscene amounts of money doesn't make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you would drive around behind it and the backside of it was just this beautiful graffiti artwork along the whole backside of the building. Uh, it was just, I would take people there all the time and they would visit Charleston. I would just take them to see this and you would just do it all with spray paint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was really on James Island. I don't know. Maybe people have seen it. They listened to the podcast, but it was so great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, that's it. Wow. This is some of this. Oh, you found it. Amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's like a, I don't know. Yeah, it was really great stuff though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for sure it is. I mean, I think there is, uh, with all of this stuff, there is, uh, comedy that can be done that I would not consider art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But. Name names. Well, you know, it's like you can just tell jokes and jokes are just jokes. I don't think there's really much art to it, but like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, going up on stage and standing up there for an hour and creating a show where people just watch you just stand still and tell jokes. I mean, there's definitely an art to that, to where it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're, you're bringing them into your world. It's almost like a visual art in a way, visual audio, like you're bringing them in, painting pictures for them in their minds. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, there is art, there is comedy where you're really just making people laugh. And I don't know, maybe that's art too, but I don't know, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I mean, there is, I mean, James Gregory used to say, he would say that there's more people that do brain surgery than do what we do, you know, professionally, so. But rocket science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well he only said brain surgery. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so what I would say is a lot of this stuff that I'm talking about, there's no real imagination.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I've seen people be really hilarious with very generic jokes, where I'm like, not a lot of creativity here, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have jokes that I would not say are art. And then I have others that I would be like, yeah, that's an art joke. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're right, yeaah, there's just a bunch of drunk people yelling at you going, this guy's not really that funny. And uh, you know, you get that kind of stuff where it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, is this hard? I might just go back to working at the Home Depot. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always the hecklers in the front that get me. If the guy had been in the balcony, yelled out, that's a matter of opinion, I can make that a joke. But you're right up front. Maybe the only people that heard you is me. It might've just been me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, those are the worst. That's the heckler that bothers me the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A painter, you can call yourself a painter, but not an artist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, all the stuff I say, I just throw it out the window. Well, you know, I started with improv and like improv, there's a thing like improvisers are like, we're doing art and they don't believe that standup comedy is art. They're like, we're doing art. Were you good at improv? I was decent. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't starting my own troop, but I can, I can add to an already existing troop. Are you glad he did it? I am glad I did it. I liked it. I had a lot of fun doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't like short form games. I like long form improv where you make scenes and you, and it's like watching an unscripted play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If done right, it is very fun, but I, I see what you're saying. I mean, if it done wrong, it's, it's terrible. It's really bad. You gotta follow the rules, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have trouble picturing you playing a character. I don't do characters, you know, I'd be basically just me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but I uhm, you know, but they always considered that art and not stand-up comedy and they really looked down on the stand-up comedy side. That's so funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And improv people are so wacky. I, I said one time kind of jokingly, but I kind of blame, uh, uh, my alcoholism on improv because I moved to Charleston, I started hanging out with all these improv people and they were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the bar after the show doing bits, you know, doing characters. And I'm like drinking, hoping, thinking that if I get drunk enough, I can be goofy like they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, so I'm trying to keep up with these improvisers by drinking and then I just end up in a fight. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched the movie Maverick the other day and Mel Gibson in that movie really makes it look like art. Yeah. Never seen that. I mean, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's great. I mean, he really re yeah, reading people's tells and stuff like that. He really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's really the big reveal at the end. Oh it is? Yeah. Oh god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could still enjoy the movie. I could watch it. I mean, the movie is to me about 30 minutes too long, but it is very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Brian's ruinsmovies.com. Maverick is peak Mel Gibson. I mean, Mel Gibson is crushing in this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It went like Maverick, Braveheart, Patriot, like back to back to back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Mel Gibson, what a career. Passion of Christ. Really took a turn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, to go from, you know, he was just an actor in Australia, just like a local actor when Mad Max happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well primary are like, uh, red and yellow and blue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then red and yellow make, uh, well there's, there's another one too though, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would never guess that if you didn't know though. No, maybe a little less focus on the guy behind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is kind of, this is before COVID I'd go ahead and say there's zero full time. I bet you're right. I bet you're right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean, I did alright. I mean, I don't draw much at all now. I have a smartphone, you know, so my, my, any boredom is, uh, on my phone. But when I was a kid, I'd have to go to my grandmother's house. She wouldn't let me watch anything on TV. There's no one to play with. I would just lay in the floor and draw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you just TikTok or whatever else. It used to be like you flip through the channels on TV and they're like, ah, there's nothing on and you just cut it off and try to go do something. But now there's always something on. You can always find something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was not him. When you're on the news like that, can you see the picture that comes up? Yeah. So he can look at the picture that's up there on the screen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's your painting, right? It's spoken word, but it's like if you, if you paint a really good painting, you hang it in a museum, then people come look at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't go, oh, it's the same old painting every time. It's like, but if you're, uh, so it's like our joke is our painting. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that side by side statue really gave it away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, no, it's gonna be great, yeaah, it's uh, fun, we gotta, uhm, it's gonna be a hot lineup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, gotta be doing a run mobile Alabama on the 18th, 19th, um, in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Baton Rouge, Louisiana, 20th Lafayette, Louisiana, 21st New Orleans, Louisiana. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I like to let you know, I like to be very specific about what's going on with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing quite like the feeling of gathering around a warm fire on a cool evening. We got lots of cool evenings coming up. Let the gifting begin. Shop Solo Stove Cyber Monday Sale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forgot to tell, did I tell y'all that I met an aerospace engineer in Dayton? I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate and Dusty were actually asking really smart questions about in the physics episode about like how about like escape velocity and how far until you're no longer pulled by the Earth's gravity and stuff. He's like, those are really, really good questions they're asking. I want to make sure they know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That it's not all dumb, like these are smart, these are smart things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you know that? Did they tell you? It was gone. Well, someone might have watched you. Do you think it was them or was it just like a guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have a go to secret hiding spot in the house for stuff? I mean, you don't have to say what it is, but do you have like a go to spot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, to hide stuff from whatever. Let's say you have like some precious jewels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had, uh, some fake books on the bookcase growing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like our passports or something like that, like some kind of, you know, just valuables.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you had like a gold watch that you inherited from your great grandfather.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, nothing like that. Nothing that's valuable enough that I need to hide it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ever see that movie? Matt Damon. It's another illegal movie. Okay. If you're in the litigation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They used to fill the Coliseum with water and have naval battles in it. Isn't that crazy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty big. Uh, is it a football size?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Small football stadium I guess. Why are they putting a boat in there? They'd fill it up with water somehow. And they would have naval battles in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, they would fill it, I mean, here's a, an obviously a drawing of what it would look like, but they'd fill up kind of the base layer of it with water, let these ships go at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Emperor Titus ordered the Colosseum to be flooded and then he used special flat bottom ships during the battle to accommodate for the shallow water. So they didn't put a ton of water in, but they put enough to have these ships floating around. And then they pulled an island in the middle of it where they could land and fight. I mean, there's a lot going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of them were slaves, I think, as gladiators, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like they're just, they're just bought and sold to, to, to do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tank Abbot, that guy. Yeah. John McCain called it human cockfighting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. That's really cool. And I wonder if everybody knows, you know, Dusty's face is on the other side of the building.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your doctor calls you? And says happy birthday. And then what? Do you just have a conversation with him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember that logo right there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like musical chairs with a cake, right? In my picture, you like walk on like a path. Okay. And you win a cake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thomas Kilby, George Huddleston, a lot of pictures in black and white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, you can count people from Cumberland too, right? Albert, Albert Gore senior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. All right. A lot of pressure on this ad read coming up for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I've figured out the gist of what this song is about. Alright. If you're interested. Sure. It's about a trucker going through a small town and on the radio he hears, will somebody talk to a teddy bear? And then he hops on and it's a kid whose dad was a trucker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But his dad died, so now he still has the radio. So he's talking to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know, they didn't, they didn't die in the explosion. Oh, really? They died when they hit the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So 114 applicants were notified of this and then, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 11,000 teachers. Oh, more than 40,000 people applied. Oh wow. Maybe she's one of the hundred


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Why, why don't you just think it was one of the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well not, not if it's negating a word that means fake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well what if there are more fiction books than non-fiction?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you got a historical fiction and a historical non-fiction. So that you can modify those words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The truth is you're a default is what you're telling me. Right? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, obviously, if you don't tell me what kind of book it is, I assume it's, it's a real thing. Right? Yeah. So you're arguing that's a good, it's a good trait that you have. Oh, my fault.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, oh man, gosh. I'm so excited to tell you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About solo stow. Let me tell you, the weather's getting cold. I was just in Minneapolis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feels like one degrees up there. Couldn't handle it. I wish I had my solo stove with me. I had been setting it up on my deck outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get the box, you open it up, it's ready to go. Just a little fire starter wood and you have a nice fire quickly. I'm an idiot, I can't do anything that men are supposed to do and I got a fire going pretty easily. And I have the stand actually so I can put it on my wood deck and it won't heat up and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have to worry about the deck catching on fire. So you can get that stand. You can get a shelter for it. So you can just leave it out on the deck. You got a carrying case that comes with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's awesome. Upgrade your backyard with the Solo Stove Fire Pit. It's the perfect way to get outside and spend more time with family and friends. Build great memories. How many of your best memories happen around the fire? A lot of them. A lot of them. Something about a fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a context for a good evening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let the gifting begin. It's the best time to buy one. Shop Solo Stove Cyber Monday Sale for huge site wide savings. Get $10 off with promo code Nate plus a lifetime warranty and free 30 day returns. Get an extra $10 off. Holiday deals at Solo Stove dot com. Promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I didn't know that that's the age cutoff you're talking about. I thought you meant like after like their kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because some young adults still, still make a big deal out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would they not do green? Cause black is... black isn't the right one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, like when you type it. If you type on like a balance sheet on like an Excel spreadsheet, if it's negative, it's red. If it's positive, it's just normal black.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it could be, yeah, but this is like the generally accepted practice of how like books are kept.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it before that you think? Was it just no day in particular? Just kind of a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that they always have more than three weeks to shop for Christmas stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is a legislative measure that requires passage by the Senate in the House and is presented to the President for their approval or disapproval. Generally, there's no legal difference between a joint resolution and a bill. So that's just another, just another word for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So joint resolutions generally are vehicles for purposes such as the following, authorizing small appropriations, giving a little money to people, continuing resolutions, building commissions like the 9-11 commission after 9-11 or declaring war. So it kind of got the full spectrum of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stone that out there. Oh yeaah. Worth watching. Is it about this? It's about a lot of this. Yeaah, yeaah. Oh really? It ends with, yeaah, it ends with him saying, now I get to go out and declare a national day of Thanksgiving. Man, this is a good job. The president, as he walks out. Oh wow. It's a hot episode. It's good.


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[Assistant] No, it's a bunch of, uh, it's a big group of people from China escape China because of religious persecution. They're Christians and they show up on the shores of the United States.


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[Assistant] And the president has to decide whether they can stay.


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[Assistant] They had the pressure of, uh, trying to grow crops to not die every winter. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] What will, what are we doing that they will not be doing a hundred years from now? I mean, I guess we can't even imagine, but there,


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[Assistant] There's no, there's no, there's no distinction between the two. You are your phone. Yeaah. It's not a distinct.


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[Assistant] There's a great episode of Black Mirror about this exact thing where all of them have.


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[Assistant] Uh, sort of a camera in their eye and then some of them elect just to take it out because they...


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[Assistant] They have to cut it out? Like, I'd watch it, but are they cutting their eye? No, no, there's no gore. Black Mirror is too much. Black Mirror is a lot, and it's like, there's a lot of stuff where you're like, well this is pretty, like, it's describing what's actually happening right now.


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[Assistant] I'm not into it. I mean, I watched it, but I was like, I can't. It's an easy show to watch cause it's an anthology series. So it's not like you can just watch any individual episode. It's like the twilight zone. Yeah, exactly. You don't have to sit down and watch all of them. White Christmas. It's a good one to start with, I think. Oh yeah. Jon Hamsen.


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[Assistant] You're telling me that the, I just have a hard time believing the difference in our everyday lives, 100 years from now, will be more different than the difference between now and 1900. Just so much more advanced, so much more happened in that amount of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The internet, electricity, I mean, everything happened in those last few, you think it'll be even crazier. It's exponential growth.


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[Assistant] There was some guy in like, I think Iran or Iraq, a country in the Middle East who claims like, I'm 160 years old. We were talking about this dude.


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[Assistant] I'm just saying. I could order a He-Man right now and it would be at my house before I get home.


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[Assistant] There's also, uh, I can get that one. I can overnight this email, be here at 4am. Wow. That's pretty good.


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[Assistant] No, in reality what I would have done is I would have been furious. I would have been polite to them. I would have left and I would yell about it in my car by myself. That's what I did. You know? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] You can go into a clothing store and ask for some buttons. They'll probably hook you up.


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[Assistant] I don't need stuff hanging on. Where am I gonna put it?


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[Assistant] And it's fun being in different parts of the country and seeing they got a lot more of their local teams and stuff.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah, I forgot they were fit. I wear a snapback if I, if I have it, but I have to wear a fitted. I wear pretty, pretty big. Seven and seven eighths. You like it loose?


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[Assistant] Is that a good fit? Like this is, this is about right. And this is on two buttons. A lot of new era hats, I'm only a one button guy. And that's tough. It's barely hanging on. Yeah. You know?


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[Assistant] Uhm, can I lose weight man? I don't know.


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[Assistant] You definitely lose weight in your face, but I don't know about, like my hat size hasn't changed at all. But you do steroids, your hat, your head size changes for sure. I don't know about just weight. It gets bigger?


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[Assistant] Oh, way bigger, yeaah. That was one of the things presented against Barry Bonds in court, is how his hat size changed since he started doing steroids. What'd he say?


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[Assistant] Well, your body type does change over time. I mean, he's so much older in this one, but it's, it's remarkable, the physical difference. So we've got on the left. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Right. It's one size fits most. You're a freak.


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[Assistant] But I have one of your hats, Dusty, and it doesn't fit my head. But I never thought, well, this is, I should take it out on the guy who sells the hats. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Swans cost that much money? I think a good swan, like a top dollar.


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[Assistant] How many? Five what? Golden rings? Five golden rings. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Now that's assuming it doesn't stack each day, right?


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[Assistant] So like the second day, you wouldn't buy the partridge in a pear tree again.


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[Assistant] They're swimming, I assume they're alive, yeaah. Four calling birds, three, a lot of birds.


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[Assistant] I mean, I didn't know that was the term they're using these days.


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[Assistant] I remember my older brother got a Gameboy, the original Gameboy, and that was a big, big deal. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but like you're in it, it's just another world that you go to. It's VR. Yeah, and you live your own life in there.


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[Assistant] It's pretty wild. I mean, there, there are versions of this. I remember when second life was big for awhile. There's actually a class.


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[Assistant] At at Notre Dame that was taught through Second Life.


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[Assistant] Uh, the video game and I played world of warcraft back in the day, I was immersed in that same way too. So I, I understand it. I just, I just, I just can't do it these days.


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[Assistant] You're in a house, the house that you could never dream of having in the real world.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You know? And your friends come over and you can play ping pong with them.


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[Assistant] Yeah, of course. Cause you're being polite. You know, you get something.


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[Assistant] So you gotta think through every outfit, right? Okay, that's my travel outfit, then I get there and I'll change and then I have the show.


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[Assistant] I'm a pants at Walmart. Yeah. That to me is where I, yeah, I see that and I go, I never want to be that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, as you, you have Walmart slippers on with socks.


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[Assistant] And you're like, you know, I understand why they did it, but it's very funny. We're in t-shirts and you know, somebody shows up. They're eating these old people's fries. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And also, I get to think a lot about what I'm wearing, what I look like, with no judgement from anybody who's supposed to do this. It's one of the few opportunities I can really do that.


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[Assistant] Women comedians talk a lot about there's this premise I hear a lot about on dating apps. It's very common to see men where their profile pictures them with the fish they just caught.


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[Assistant] And I think the reason for that is, is because it's like, it's the one time where it's, one time where a guy feels totally fine being like, get a picture of me.


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[Assistant] You know what I mean? Cause it's like, obviously we're gonna take a picture of the fish.


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[Assistant] But you would, it would be weird to be hanging out with friends and go hey dude, grab a picture of me real quick.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just like by myself, grab a picture of me. That never happens.


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[Assistant] It's, it's an awkward moment to be like, I've gotten more comfortable with it now if I'm on the road and I gotta, well, give me a, get a picture of me so I could post this or something, but it's a very uncomfortable moment.


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[Assistant] Uh, that, I'll spend more than that, but I don't have kids or any kind of other, like you have a family, I'm sure it's different. You know, prioritizing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you go, you're the only number I know, can you patch me through to my...


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[Assistant] This weekend, I'm in Wichita, Kansas at the Looney Bin. First time headlining there, featured there a bunch, but now I'm headlining at Looney Bin Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then Sunday I'm back at the Helium in Indianapolis.


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[Assistant] Last time I was there I did the small room and they sold out so they go, we'll give you the big room next time. So I'd like to not embarrass myself.


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[Assistant] At the, uh, that Orpheum there? Uh, maybe, it was this year, but he was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Helix Sleep, uh, premium mattress brand that provides tailored mattresses based on your unique sleep preferences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to helixsleep.com slash nate with helix better sleep starts now.


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[Assistant] I think my voice is normal, so you got worried about it. Yeah, it sounded like it was going to be bad. Uh, but it's not good. Uh, we're all going to show you real fast, uh, uh, John, our buddy, John Crist.


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[Assistant] Uh, he's been on the podcast. Obviously a lot of people know him. He's got a new book out, Delete That and Other Failed Attempts to Look Good online. John Crist. It's a great book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's crazy just to write a book. He did do this. He sent it and it was funny. Uh, like a picture that said, and like, you'd be like, keep this and delete that. And then he showed these. Oh my goodness.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he was, yeah, he just don't keep, delete your account. Uh, it's, uh, welcome. We, I feel like we've been on the road. It's been a while. It's been a while. Uh, I think a couple of weeks. Yeah. A couple of weeks. Uh, yeah. Or who was gone? You were gone. I was gone. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, with Kevin Nielsen, that was a thrill. Took my place. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, that's true. I asked Kevin if he would move here, but he said no. It's just the vibe was there. Yeaah. You know what I mean? Yeaah. He's a great dude. I worked with him one time. Loved Kevin Neal. Big fan. It was, uh, yeaah. It's been, I don't even know where I've been. I've been everywhere. Uh, where were you this weekend?


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I went to, uh, Graceland. How was that? Uh, it's awesome.


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[Assistant] Great. It was, you know, I've always wanted to go and I've never been. And if I, I think if people have been a long time ago, it's very different from what they were telling me. Like he used to go see his house and stuff like that, but they have his cars now. They have a whole other, I mean, his airplanes are there. That might've been there for a while. Airplanes are very cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then just the, the cars and, uh, they have a lot of his cars there. Uh, they had the, the car of the picture, the last picture that was taken when he's pulling into the car. It's called a Stutz or Stutes. I've never heard of it. S-T-U-T-Z. And, uh, it's, uh, and that was the car he was in and supposedly it was a car that.


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[Assistant] It was for Frank Sinatra and then he, uh, went and charmed the guy and said, well, just give it to me. And the guy gave it to Elvis. Uh, but it was, uh, Elvis was like, I don't know, man. It was awesome. Like just hearing about him. Uh.


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[Assistant] It's, you know, he was like a good guy. I like that he had like, you know, that Memphis mafia. Like it's, it's, it's a mix of like, you know, like, uh, some guys were actors, some guys were friends. It's like, he took care of his family. He did the stuff that you want someone to do that, you know, he loved Memphis, he loved home, he, all that kind of stuff. And, uh. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, 42 years old and we, like, he had a racquetball court and so in that racquetball court he had a piano and he was playing a song and they were like, that's where he was up to like 4 in the morning or, you know, I think someone,


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[Assistant] Maybe somebody, maybe played racquetball for in the morning. They were saying that, uh, the people that work at Graceland, by the way, are some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life.


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[Assistant] It's, and that's what I loved. I loved that even to this day, I feel like, cause he's, he seemed very nice with his fans and he, it was, it was about them and it was, you know, he's a very, he's a very generous person and, uh, I loved that he was.


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[Assistant] And I think the relationship he had with his fans was a true, like he, you know, looked at himself as probably them. And, uh,


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[Assistant] That carries on even though it's been so, I mean 50 year or whatever it is 70, I mean he died in 77 so probably 45 years I guess. Uh, yeaah. Did they talk about that?


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[Assistant] I asked her, I said, do people still bring it up? And she goes, oh yeah, they still do. But I remember watching Unsolved Mysteries about him not being, like on CBS. I do remember that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it would, you could see it.


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[Assistant] I would, I would hope if someone did do that, they would at least be like, hey, tell someone, like, if I...


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[Assistant] When I eventually do die, for real. Like, let everybody know.


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[Assistant] Like I did, you know, just to be like, oh wow, so we have an answer to it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, I don't, I mean, I don't think so. I mean, I think he was in bat, like I asked her, I was talking to her about it and, uh, they were, she was like, she knew everything.


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[Assistant] And it was, I mean, it was so awesome to hear all this stuff, but she said that he, I mean, he had.


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[Assistant] He had a toothache and that was bothering him a lot and so he thought his toothache was hurting him. Which, I guess a toothache, some of the, if you're going into cardiac arrest, your pain feels like it's a toothache. So I think he just thought.


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[Assistant] It was this toothache and then that's, and then he was up till, you know, he went to bed probably 9 AM or something like the next morning. And then I think just never woke up or he died and he died like his bathroom that because I asked, you know, the, yes, he died on a toll and all this stuff, but he was, uh,


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[Assistant] I think he was in his bathroom. His bathroom was like a suite. Like it's, you know, it's like a, he'd get his hair cut in there. It's a, you know, it's not like a motel six bathroom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but it doesn't, it doesn't, I don't know if there's any. He would get his hair cut on the toilet? No, he would have a, his bathroom is like a suite.


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[Assistant] I mean, that's a relationship you gotta probably pay high money if you want. You and Eric gonna take it to the next level. I mean, you gotta be a, the most confident person. I mean, you have to have two of the most confident people on earth that have to somehow meet.


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[Assistant] And then be good at these two things.


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[Assistant] His, uh, but he had a twin brother, but his brother died. Right, but that's, you know. That's what they say. Right. They're saying they didn't. They said, yeaah, they had, uh, they said his brother, uh, oh yeaah. There's before and after.


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[Assistant] That's a good one. Go flick through these pictures. Yeah, he's buried there and his whole family is, uh, there. I think there's some on the front. What is this room? That was the jungle room. Uh, and so yeah, that's the front. This is very cool.


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[Assistant] No, they said his childhood home was maybe the size of this room we're in, where it's like, could be 400 square feet or, it was a shotgun home in Tupelo, Mississippi. And it was a, the bathroom was outside. So it was, it was a, you had just like the front room and then the back room.


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[Assistant] And that's where he, so he was born in that. His bedroom that he had in that house was bigger than the home he grew up in. And in that house is like, when you see that house, what you think, you might think, oh, it's, it's one of those that it feels smaller than you imagine.


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[Assistant] Uh, but it was like back then, I mean it was gigantic and he had a basement and he had


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[Assistant] He, I mean, he had a record, like he loved gadgets. I liked he had, uh, so he had a bunch of cars and all, if, the way you knew he was home was if all the cars were parked in front of the driveway, in the driveway in front of the house, if all the cars were out there, he was home. And if they weren't, he wasn't home.


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[Assistant] And so all the cars we parked, the keys would be in it. And when they wanted to go somewhere, he would go get in the car he wanted to, and then his, his boys would just get in whatever car, other car, and they would drive.


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[Assistant] And, uh, like I, I love all that. That's like, it's like, you know.


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[Assistant] Did you see the TV that he shot out? Yeah. Yeah. That was, uh, there was an act, an actor, something when he left for Germany, I think someone said, I won't take care of your girl for you when she's gone. And then that guy was on TV and he shot the TV when he saw him. There's a lot of weird stuff too. That's like.


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[Assistant] Uh, I mean, you gotta think he's, he's 21 when all this is, you know, so he's so young. Uh, and he's just, I mean, he had, I mean, he had a life, like just doing so much, but he was, he was just, it's crazy to think how young he is. Like, and he did, he won three Grammys because the Grammys weren't invented and he won three.


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[Assistant] Like at the very end. Oh, he only won three. He only won three is what I meant. Yeaah. You'd think he'd be like, oh, he won them all. And you'd be like, no, they weren't a thing. He won three in gospel.


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[Assistant] But yeaah, I enjoyed the whole, I enjoyed the whole thing. It was, Graceland's very cool.


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[Assistant] I have not, but me and Laura have been trying to watch it and I was going to watch it. I'm home for a couple days, so I was like, oh, you know what? I'll watch it now. Cause I, I want to know. I got a book in there, uh, and I was like kind of curious to read it. I just, like, I think he had.


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[Assistant] I don't know. I think it's a guy that I think's heart was in a good spot. Like maybe, you know, I know he got, he got carried away and he got stuff, but I mean, I think he wanted to really do this stuff. The picture on the wall, he's got blonde hair. That was his natural hair. And he got, uh, and he, I think he dyed it black. Black velvet. That's right.


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[Assistant] Yeah, very sad. And he's a year younger than me. So it's like, you would think, like it's, if you're like, well, he died that young. He's 42.


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[Assistant] I mean, when you hear that story like that, like you think it's a guy in his seventies, eighties that they're willing out there, but it was, uh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it wasn't. I mean, he didn't drink much either, they said. Like I love, he loved Diet Dr Pepper. I'm way on board with Diet Dr Pepper. Uh, he had a soda machine. That's a dream of mine to get. In his house? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but I mean you wouldn't, you wouldn't finish a cup. I think it'd be probably healthier.


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[Assistant] That's what, yeah, that's why I like that. Now I want like those ones that like, you can pick all the stuff and, uh, are, I mean, the other ones are great, but then you get the right cue, you know, get like Sonic Ice, uh, and then McDonald's Diet Coke somehow get in that game.


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[Assistant] I mean, he sold so many records even now. Like it's, I mean, it's, uh, it's like he's a, the amount of stuff he sells now, it's like he's a megastar now. He did like RCA when he was at RCA records, there's, I mean, he was RCA records. He was, he was their whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had TVs everywhere, like this was, you know, TVs were coming around and they were saying he had TVs in every room. Uh, he'd watch, he always had the TV on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, down in his basement is like, he had like two man caves kinda down. One was a pool room and one was his other room. All this stuff is like kinda untouched in this house. They actually, they said, uh, Lisa Marie, they have Christmas, I think, Christmas dinner in that house, in the dining room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you go look at the dining room, and then in Christmas, they, the family comes there, they stay up, like, some almost stay upstairs, you can't go upstairs, cause it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Elvis's room is, uh, not touched, but the other rooms are kind of modernized and then they go and they, uh, are in, you know, but they stay in the house. Like I love that it's that family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it really is a family business. It's, uh, they all still live there. It's like, you know, it's not like it's just run by whoever. Right.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, they had to go get a lot of his stuff back. They said like car, cause he would just give people cars and just all this stuff. So everybody had something of, you know, this or that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know Elvis gave you this, but he had a lot going on there. We gotta get this back. You'd have to sell. I mean, yeah, they, they, they, they would do a lot of that. You have to prove they'd go back and get it. You'd have to prove that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they could figure out that it is he is and they're like, alright, there's a lot of that. They had to go get a lot of stuff. They have so much, so much stuff about this guy.


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[Assistant] Oh wow. Yeah, The Rock has an Elvis outfit in there. Huh. Like that he wore somewhere. But like he, uh, yeah, they said he comes there.


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[Assistant] It's like, when you hear that guy. He really is everywhere. Yeah. It's like that, that was a, you know, yeah, it was like, oh, that's good. You're like, this guy just puts stuff like, it's like every, can you just do your own, just be, you have your own building. Actually the first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I like, I think, yeah. If you met him, I bet you'd be like, this is, I mean, really you'd be like, this guy's the best. I have nothing against him. It's just, it is. He's everywhere. It's everywhere. And you're like, oh, and then you go in there like that's his outfit. You're like, why would he not put it in there? Uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Micro is a very dirty blue collar guy. Yeaah. Yeaah. Like I think a very well spoken guy, a guy that can kind of lay the land of going here seems smart, like seems like a guy that's like, well let me tell you, uh, he can vamp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I thought it was in plays or something. But yeah, like, uh, I like that. I was like, yeah, that makes, cause it doesn't need to be, you know, your most famous. Cause it's like someone's gotta be able to relate to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The entire population. So it's like, if it's Dolly Parton, I get it. But you're like, that's, she's, it's too. She's been rich for too long. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I think she, you know, she could be like Elvis and the fact that like she knows and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And knows what stuff means to people that are not rich and famous and all this. But Mike Rose, like a perfect mix of, you know, like he's still very much tied in and loves all that stuff and is the one, you know, I liked that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. He seems like the guy who knows the most about the history.


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[Assistant] I would think they'd just, you're in a band, like they would just assume like... Yea, no one harassed me in DCA, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 50-50, you kind of lead the way to them.


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[Assistant] I think if you, if she would have let you really sleep out there, I bet you would have got. Yeah, that would have been nice. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Unhoused sounds worse. I think so too. They try to fix stuff. That's like the Washington football, when they had the Washington football team. It's like, that's the best name. What was it? Washington, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was so great. It wasn't the Redskins before that. No, yeah. I know, but when they did the name in between. Yeah, the Washington football team. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like, that was like the best, the uniforms, the names, the best. You're like, this is, I was like, why are we not all just called that? Like you started thinking like, it is ridiculous. We're called, you know, it's like Titans, big win, Vanderbilt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, huge. Big win. Big time. Uh, very exciting. Excited for Clark Lee. Uh, but they're, uh, yeah, it's like, you were like, the team, the name is so good that you're like, yeah, we should all be like Cleveland baseball team, the Cleveland football team. Like you should just be yours. That's what you say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, the Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl. And you're like, the older you get, you're like, alright, alright. You're like, it feels, you know, the Chargers. You're like, just be. Just say the city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well that's, yeah, but that's college. I think pros is like, you're playing for the city you're in, or the state, or the, you know. Not the university. Not the, yeah, not the, it could be the New Jersey football team, the New York, New Jersey and New York are playing tonight. Like it would be like, ooh, instead of Jets, Giants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they're playing the same thing, but you would just say, uh, yeah, but you'd be like, yeah, one needs to be.


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[Assistant] No, like, you know, he's like, I called the cops, you're like, okay, and you just keep doing the tire. Like, I feel like it just keeps your mind off, uh, so at least at the end of all of it, you're like, tires changed, we'll move on. It took way longer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean, man, if you won 900 million dollars.


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[Assistant] I think if you win that much, you almost can't make it all go away.


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[Assistant] And so you're not happy with 997 million? You're like, I mean, I'm happy with, they just said me, give me a billion. Give me a billion. Just let me be a billionaire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah i wonder if someone could like i mean i guess you went and you bought a plane.


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[Assistant] So you go buy some big plane that might cost 30 million dollars, you know, I'm trying to think like, would you, you know, cause when people, you win 10 million, I see how they, especially now you're like, yeah, they could go. They could blow through that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you buy a big house, so you're like, that's 10 million now, you know, but if you have 400 million, you gotta be like, I don't...


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[Assistant] You know, I would, I would, that's where you want to go, like somewhere you go. I hope you take a hundred million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or take 50 million, or take 100 million, buy your plane. Okay. And then put the rest 300 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then, and then you, and then just go be like a hundred million. You want a hundred million dollars, go do whatever you want. I don't care if you waste it. Like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you would say, how do you not say you won 900 million dollars?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you give your family, you go, I'm going to give all my family, you know, a few million, your immediate family, I'll give you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of you like 10 million dollars. You kind of take care of everybody. It's tough to do Joe. I think you should do that. You go take care of everybody up top. I mean, you're in your immediate family is not what you're talking about. It's the outskirts. Yeah. You know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's like they're never gonna be happy with that 100 because it is like, well, just give me.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I don't know if I would look at you, like, I'm really curious to see if we'd look at you different. I think you would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think I would, I don't think I would though.


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[Assistant] Like as I, I don't know, I don't think I've ever resented someone for something. Like I've, I've always took it as, I've always never cared what someone else has cause you're like, well then I need to do, I gotta get what I, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's on me, so it's like, you'd be like, man, that's crazy, that's awesome, dude. Like, it's like, you know, but I wouldn't, I don't think I would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like also you, it's how you handle it. I would imagine you gotta go, you're always paying. You just pay for it. You, I got it. No, no, no, no. Obviously you, obviously I got it. Like, and you just pay for it always. And you do that stuff. And if you can't not do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it gets like, you know, I just do it and you take control of it. And then it is, you're like everybody's like, yeah, he's very generous. You're like, no, he didn't give me a million dollars. Why do I deserve him? But we go out to eat. He pays for all this stuff. He did a lot of stuff for a lot of people. He did, you know, I think I would forget my wallet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I could see, yeah, it does do that. Yeah. But, but it's like, you just, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. And so it's like, that's, that's what I mean. You gotta go to, well, what's, it's on you. So if you could, that person can't handle it, then it's kinda on, on them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they did it, you know, Tiger Woods, like then, like there's stories of him and I don't know whether these are true or not and I don't know. But, uh, when they did, uh, when he would go to like, it was in like the books when he'd do seal training and then he'd go out and eat with the seals afterwards. Like they're doing a thing, like letting him come along and do this and they'd go eat lunch afterwards and he wouldn't pay for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing to do. They don't want money from them. They're not trying to get some from them, but they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're coming here because of you. I would think you would have everything covered.


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[Assistant] If you just pay, take care of everything, I like pay everything. It's when people are asking for the crazy amounts of money could be one thing, but when you go out, you're like, yeah, I'm just paying for it. I got it, dude. Don't worry about it. But then some people would be like, no, let me buy it. I want to, you know, and because they want to just buy you much. If you're a nice person and you win it, I don't think it changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we know a comedian- Yeaah, but that's not good. That's not- I know, but that's not- that's- that's, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to realize that that's not on that person. I do. And then so it's like, and to be resentful, but you gotta, but then you, you either, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I get it, but it's like, that's not, you know, that's mean. That's actually very mean. I agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand that, but does it give you the right to be mean to the person? It doesn't, but it would be hard. You're still living the same exact life, whether he wins or doesn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be, it would, yeah, it would be your peers. I think that would have the hardest. Yeah. And that's the, that's where it, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know. You gotta have your own plan. If you don't have your own plan, that's a thing. So if you're gonna, if someone's like, gonna be resentful, and they're gonna do it, you're like, well, you don't have a plan for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you're just, and maybe neither one of you had a plan and you got lucky and that's why I understand. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wealth or whatever it is, but at least there's like a goal in their life to something they can be satisfied with, then you wouldn't, you would be like, that's awesome, man. And you're, you know, and you're like, nah, I'm doing my own thing. Like I'm, you know, we're getting like, it's, you would, if, if, and those are the people that probably would be given the money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you'd be like, oh, well that's, this person's got a great heart and they're doing big things and you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, yeah, I don't know. You wouldn't be able to, would you have to quit the podcast? If what? He won nine, nine, the billion dollar one. Oh yeah, definitely. I couldn't be around him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, now that you're wealthy, I don't think you take jokes as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More than likely the people around them change than that person changes. Now, if they're young and they're maybe that person can change, if they're super like, uh, you know, if you have no experience of anything, but I do think, uh, cause you would always, people say that, well, that person changed and then you're always like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, I don't know, but did you? Cause it's like, then that person, the person around him sees, seems mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just going off like hearing the stories on, you know, like about celebrities and they're like, well, they change and I think some do some become crazy and some become, they come swept up in that thing. And those drive me crazy. The ones that like, we always have it with people in the South that like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go talk about the South and they hate the South and you're like, yo, we're from here, dude. Like how are you not love it? How do you not proud of it? How are you not like all this kind of stuff? And then, uh, but if you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think people around you, yeaah, you would see them change more than you would. I would change too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would change in just your life. I mean, that's so much money. So that's a, it's, that's the only thing. It's so much money. 10 million. I don't think you changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, it's just so crazy. But I think you do the things that in your conscious that you go like, you know what? I took care of a lot of people and I did a lot of things and I think I did what I should have done. And, uh, and if you can feel like that, then you could go, you could feel happy. You know, your circle just would get tighter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you make people around you have money, so then they don't feel like, they're not gonna ask stuff from you. And then you're, you just walk around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's do these, uh, ad reads and then we're getting the comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We love our Helix Sleep Mattress, uh, we talk about it a lot, everybody slept on it, uh, unboxing it is a great time, something that I think you would still do if you won the lottery, you'd still, you'd buy Helix mattresses just to unbox them.


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[Assistant] I'd have one in every room. Every room. We have the Helix Dusk Lux. It has medium support and everyone that sleeps on it is surprised how good they sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helix matches are American made and come with a 10 or 15 year warranty depending on the model. And remember, you get to try it out for 100 nights, risk free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't love it, I know you will, but if you don't, they'll pick it up for you and give you a full refund. Uh, Helix has been awarded the number one mattress pick by GQ and Wired Magazine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's recommended by multiple leading chiropractors, doctors of sleep medicine, uh, Helix supports military, first responders, teachers, and students by giving them a special discount on this site.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash nate. With Helix, better sleep starts now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I wear em, I wear em all the time. I wear the jacket everywhere, like everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking like, if you, so if you won the money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you yell at, would you make me, I can't do more big man jokes? Would that go away?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody knows you're not relatable. Cause it's like the switch is too quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. And you won the lottery. So it's like, it's a completely different thing. You can maybe fire off one special about winning the lottery and like maybe make some jokes about that where people would be interested in that. And then after that it'd be like, people would be over it. So you could, you'd have to go, you could go an Andy Kaufman route.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just like, be like, I'm gonna run for mayor for this town. Cause how mad would that make everybody?


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[Assistant] If you, and then your answers go, well, that's funny cause I'm a billionaire and I know what to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, you could do some like, man, you're from Memphis, Tennessee. I'm from Hollywood. Like you just kind of just, I think you'd have to go, you would, like you said, John Hodgman. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. But it's like your, your boy, John. Yeah. And, uh, but you would, you would have to go, you'd have to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, and that could be, and it could be very funny. And you'd be fun with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go the other, you go, yea, you have to go mean and be the other way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, be the opposite of that, but you could do it and you'd like get it. Like that would be higher private chef. That's at your house that you're like, I don't, I eat when you hand me food because otherwise, I mean, you'd have to have a month of just like, yo, look, dude, I'm about to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm about, I think you'd go get a private jet for a month and just be like, I'm going to go somewhere every night and I'm going to eat bad. But then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, go to McDonald's and like buy everybody, you know, just, it'd be pretty awesome to go to McDonald's and just go, this McDonald's today, if you come, I will buy every 24 hours. Show up. Let me feed the community.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that would be fun. And then, you know, and they give you the bill and it's like a hundred grand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you would do that stuff. Like it's like, and I feel like if you do that and put videos out, that's what I think people do is like they do that stuff. And then you're like, how much money do they give away? They're like, none. They just do it once on a video. And you're like, that guy is nice. Not Shaq. I think Shaq is, cause Shaq, most Shaq's videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some are himself, but a lot of them are like other people showing that he's doing it without. I think Shaq's a very generous person like that. And, uh, yeah, that'd be interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think people, I'd be, I'd be curious to see how you'd be. I could see him, he'd be gone. I could see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's read, we talked a while, let's read some of you guys' comments. Uh, up first, Kevin Neeland comments. Uh, M4, great guest, fantastic episode, I love hiking with Kevin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do love that too. And you did it, right? I did it. I didn't know if he wanted to say it yet. Well, he said it on the podcast. Well, I thought that we'd still keep it a secret. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, you and your money. Let's say whatever I want. I'm from Hollywood. I'm from Hollywood. You're from Nashville, Tennessee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sarah Nistetter. It was so fun to have a guest again. However, I have often wished Nate would introduce his guest a little more thoroughly. As a newbie to the comedy world, I usually have no idea who the guest is and I just learn along the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I felt like you just trashed him, then at the end of it you said he's great. Uh, you trashed somebody, and then you- Trashed Aaron.


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[Assistant] Uh, Thomas Gray. It blows my mind that you guys had an entire conversation about going under for dental work and there was no mention of Tim Wadley. One of the funniest moments in Sideville is when Wadley takes a hit of the gas before giving it to Jerry. Great show. Keep up the good work, boys. And Laura. Uh, yeaah. We didn't mention Tim Wadley.


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[Assistant] Alright. Why did he have to make a U-turn? That's how he rewinds stuff in his car.


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[Assistant] So when your car is going, some of these cars, especially with the money, the brown scenes to have, uh, when you go, it plays and you're like, wait, what did he say? And then you could either back up. But if you're like on a main road, there's people behind you. You go to a U-turn and he goes, and then you get back in the lane. And then it's like, you can hold a WW2 movie for me. Jeremy Edgar, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kevin might actually be the first comedian to play Biden in a sketch, an SNL sketch about the Clarence Thomas hearing in the early 90s. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, some of the, yeah, sometimes people are so old. It does when you see people and they're like, you know, how old would you guess Vin Diesel is? Vin Diesel, 55. I'll say 48. I'm going to go. I know the answer.


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[Assistant] I think our age, your age, I'm younger, but Travis this weekend, he said he thought he was 45. I think people that know Vin Diesel, we see him, we think he's 45, but then I could see you and anybody younger think he's old because he would be old to you. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Superhero comments. Cameron. Ironically, the rock voice Superman's dog Crypto recently really ties the pod together. There you go. The rock again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. Yeah, they go, the rock just gets the, let me be Superman. They're like, you can't, you're everything. Well, I'll be his dog. And they go, all right, we'll let you be his dog. I think Kevin Hart's in it too. And he sings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Moana. What's that? Is it Moana? It's Mulan? Yeah, yeah. I know, I like all those songs. I do like them. I did love Moana, and I loved all those songs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Julian Turnwich, which, Turnwich, I like that last name. Julian Turnwich. Sounds like there's something she, you know, if it's a, I don't know if it's a, a man or a woman, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either turn, which is what makes me think it's a woman. It's weirdly enough, the last name. That is weird. How do you base the gender? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the last name makes me think it's a woman. Looks like witch a little bit. Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. Oh, cause yeah, cause it's like all women are witches. Dusty meet this part. Yeah. Well, Julian lives in Australia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well maybe I'll see Julian. It's a guy? I don't know, I think so.


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[Assistant] Turnwich. Well, uh, I, I can't believe Barbe, Barber, Barberilla. Barbarella. Barbarella.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't believe Barbarella didn't mention The Greatest American Hero for a number of reasons. It's almost identical to Nate's last special name. It was from the 80s when he was in his heyday, and mostly the theme song Believe It or Not was referenced in Seinfeld. It was George's answering machine message. Oh, believe it or not, George isn't home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There has to be some muscle that is doing the hard work of fighting gravity. Also, why would I be any faster at altitude? I think flying would be hard the whole time and I would only travel at a walking pace. Always pick invisibility. Interesting point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're going off, uh, just Superman. But it is, there has to be some muscle that is doing the work, like... Also assuming that gravity is real. Uh, yeah, that's true. Making a lot of dangerous assumptions here. There's, uh, to honestly, I think this is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Derek being very lazy and he's like, yeah, but you're still using some muscle to get up there. Like he's still like, I don't want to use anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Am I going to float? And it's like, no, you gotta like, you gotta do your abs a little bit. And then you're like, you're, you gotta, you gotta hold stretch out. Maybe that's in calories and maybe, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the stress of like how much do you want to be, but it is funny. I make fun of Derek saying that it is the lazy way, but there is, if there's a muscle for it, there's a point you could be like the older you get, someone's like, let me see you fly. You're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta get up and like, uuuh, you know. I would just find an easy way to, uh, just float a little bit. Yeah, just go foot off the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you could see, yeaah, both of them are mischievous, but he says you could do them for good, like, if you were to do them for good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, or something or someone's captured and you could walk right in and go in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are you going to get them out? They're still in the cell. You could, but then you slowly just take down the people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they don't know you're there. So you just slowly, and then people are like, why are people collapsing? You could just put poison in everybody's thing and everybody collapse. And it's all people see is like a little bag walking around. How would I still do that? They just walked in and go, what's that? I think that would still be useless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I would walk low to the ground and you just keep the bag on the, on the wall on the floor. Well, I don't think anybody's looking down there. So you got to, which is annoying because you got to be kind of like crouched down and being like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just called immediately. And they just go, well, how do you keep him when he's invisible? How do you tell? You're like, you just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who? Mac? Oh, Mac Beeler. I feel like y'all missed the best and most underrated super power x-ray vision, baby. That way you always know what's hiding. Love the podcast. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, it's for that if you think you're getting jumped a lot, but I think it'd be hard to control it. Like you, you know. I don't, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Josh Fields, the visual of Dusty muting his TV so Dr. Strange spells don't infiltrate his living room and summon things into his house made me lose it. Maybe the hardest I've laughed at any line of any show. Well, I, well, I appreciate that, but it's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so what if everything's normal and then you're actually the conspiracy, so you, they've tricked you into thinking like it's almost backwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't understand how Clark Kent was never recognized as Superman, but after hearing that Cletus T. Judd was able to masquerade as Larry the Cable Guy with just a hat and sunglasses, it totally makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched Bible man as a little kid in the early 2000s. It got saved at a Bible man live play when they did a sermon and invitation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Bible man is the least failed superhero out of them all, as he's the only one who's ever literally saved people in real life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Technically, God saved me, but Bible men helped, but apparently Bible hater Brian doesn't care about that. I wish Bible men would have fault you. Wow. Really throwing some heat at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's got a sword and, I mean his outfit looks pretty cool. It does look cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Wow. Scandals. You know what? 25 years. You know who I hung out with?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, uh, in Boston, uh, Brian Regan. Really? Yeah. Yeah. We got to hang out afterwards. And I mean, it was very, uh, yeah, it was very surreal. It was the first time I met him. I got to shake his hand once.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, he would have never known, remembered it, like, when I was younger. Uh, but, uh, we hung out and it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it was awesome. And it was, it's 25 years is, is Brian Regan Live. That's what I'm saying. How did you put that connection together? Yeah, cause it was 25 years. Cause we talked about that CD. You know, I, I don't know how, I've always said Brian Regan is the name I mentioned in that, but Brian Regan CD, Brian Regan Live, it might be the most impactful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I was just starting, I mean, I think it steered me, not that I was not gonna go one way, but it, I mean, I would have been clean no matter what, or, not that I was clean because of him, but it steered me, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember my dad giving, like, telling me to listen to this CD. I don't remember. Maybe he mailed me the CD. Maybe you could download something on Napster or something like that in 2003 or 2004. I feel like you told me he bought it for you or something. I think he bought it. My dad bought it at a Gastic. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like one of the, you know, like they'd have those bins with all the CDs and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, I remember, I distinctly remember my talking to my dad and saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, I had to pull the car over because I couldn't, I was laughing so hard that it was like unsafe for me to drive. And so I remember that, I remember thinking like, you know, you're like, God, can you imagine doing that to someone that's so crazy? And then I remember hearing the CD and just being like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, I just never experienced something like that. And then, and then, uh, and then I went and saw him at Zany's and it was just so crazy. And you're like, this guy's so good. And I guess it was kind of right when he was popping off. Like it was like, cause when that CD came out and I was talking to him and I told him about it and he, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, I mean, just the sweetest person. And then, uh, and I was talking to him about it and he was like, yeah. He goes, I mean, that's when I was like, he just started kind of selling out clubs. So I was like kind of in on the ground floor of it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I was starting comedy and I go to Zany's and it's sold out and everybody's there and they know why they're there. And then he's doing his next hour, which, uh, was the, I think the one at the improv.


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[Assistant] Probably, I don't know for sure. But like, the one he filmed at the improv, it's on- I walked on the moon. I walked on the moon.


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[Assistant] And then that one is just, it's so crazy. So I mean, rigging could be the.


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[Assistant] The funniest I've ever, like, just pound for pound, like, it's crazy.


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[Assistant] Brian Regan Live, uh, if you've never heard it, uh. Is that his first album? Yeah. And it just blew up. It's, I mean.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was, yeah, I came back. It was early 2000s. But that one, I remember, we remember being very funny, but I don't know if I knew to think about the, like, or I don't, I was so excited to see science.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I like. I mean, look, I, in my show, I have, uh, you know, we always have, like, two of us, Bridgestone, we're gonna have all of us, uh, and then, uh, then my dad will be there.


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[Assistant] But it's like, I like the idea of it's like when you go to a show, it's like, you know, trying to make comedy, like where it's like, yeah, the openers are, it's like, it's, it's, it's the, it's the show. It's like, it's a whole night of entertainment. And it's, uh, sometimes I think people have to, you know, and I think I used to think that like, well, I'm here to see that person. And you're like, you should go to it and be like, no, no, no, I'm here to.


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[Assistant] You know, it's comedy, that's what's great. It's like, cause you know, music, you're like, well I don't know that band and I don't know you. But with comedy, you're like, oh, it's all new, so. You're either gonna laugh or not laugh. I don't know, makes it fun.


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[Assistant] Uh, alright. Scandals and animals. Scandals and animals. So uhm. We gotta, what does that even say? Cause we gotta fix this.


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[Assistant] No, I don't, uh, yeaah, Batesville. I don't, I'm, yeaah, my head is...


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[Assistant] Uh, look, look her name up. It's, I know her name and I, I'm just like, cause I don't think, look at Batesville. And then, uh, but yeah, they do a, the Folklanders and they do a podcast about this podcast. And, uh, it's, uh, uh, very, very funny. And, uh, so yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't know why I was thinking, uh, you were right. You were right the whole time.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's three hosts, three ladies and, uh, it's, yeah, it's very nice. And they, and they, uh, do their own. I watched some Folkland the other day. Yeah. It's pretty fun.


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[Assistant] I saw Jessie, she was at a show in Hartford. She designed, if people don't know,


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[Assistant] Some of the merch that we have right online is like the Hello Folk shirt. She designed it. And we got her, uh, and she's going to do another shirt too. Uh, and so, yeah, she, she does, she's great, but they're, yeah, and they're all great. And so, uh, yeah, very, very nice.


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[Assistant] What's going to happen or something that Lori Loughlin, right? And Becky and Becky always loved her. Uh, but I happened to get to golf at, uh, uh, this private course, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] Oh my gosh. I can't, my brain's gone today. So it's a, it's a very, it's in Palm Springs. If some people are golfers, they're going to know what it is. It's a discovery property, which is another one.


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[Assistant] A big thing. And there, uh, and so she was in the group in front of us. We let her play or behind us and we let her play through recently. No, no, this was when this was going down a few years ago. So I just happened to be there, but it was kind of crazy because you're just like, you're all over the news and like, it's all about to happen. Whatever's going to happen.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it would have been funny to say, like, uh, yeah, like you're gonna skip ahead. No, no, I'd like you to skip ahead. Go ahead. Uh, and I guess we're done. Alright, give me some money, I'll let you wait. I go, no, you're not against that.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I can't, it is true that I believe, I can't imagine that they're all doing it. And some of this stuff, you just think, you start going, why are you picking her to be the one that you're mad at? Like you're, you know, you do like the other.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. But why are you picking them? You go tell me this hasn't gone on for probably 50 years at these places. You're not all doing this. And then you be, it's like, it's almost like they find like, it's like, you feel like people are starting to get wind of it and it's all about to crumble. Then they go, she did it. Yeah. You got to sacrifice a couple of people. Yeah. Yeah. And then I don't like that because you're like,


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[Assistant] I'm not saying whatever, I don't even know what they, they, they paid and they skipped the line or something.


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[Assistant] You know, I mean, I guess it's like, well, there's people not getting into school because of that.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I think that's, that's the thing. I mean to go, you know, you're not a community college, like everybody that's able to go to your school.


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[Assistant] You're not taking my spot. They weren't going to let me go to that school. Like so, it, you know, you're like, it's almost like that school's maybe mad about it. And the school's like, people that want to go to that school's annoyed.


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[Assistant] But for me, you're like, yeah, you wouldn't, I can't go there.


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[Assistant] Don't want to go there. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't. Yeah. Yeah. You figure it. Yeah. It is that you just figure everything. Wasn't it like the Martha Stewart thing? Like when she got, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, but you're like, there's a point that you just go like, well, why do you, you know, you're like, it's just, they, they make the one person go and then you're like, y'all are just.


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[Assistant] That's the people that you're like, I don't trust any of you. Then they go to point at that one person, then they go.


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[Assistant] I think that's something that is maybe the older you get, that's something you, like you start thinking about, you're like, I can't imagine it's, or me, the more you just, you go, I can't imagine that person's probably the problem. Like there's gotta be something.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, yeah, I, you know, I think I cared at the time and I could care less about it even now. The more they got, yeah, the fact that the government was involved.


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[Assistant] But yea, like, so the brave is like, what's it supposed to be like? What does it mean?


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[Assistant] I mean, I brought you cookies. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. Your birthday, is your birthday today or yesterday?


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[Assistant] You're trying to go through, uh, I think he opened the podcast on his birthday, but it's my birthday. But I brought my baby on so people didn't forget.


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[Assistant] It's uh, you don't want the attention, which I understand that. Like you're just kind of like, I don't want it to be a whole thing. Cause there always feels like there's a bunch of things. It's always like.


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[Assistant] It's like, it's your birthday, then someone else's birthday, then it's this and it's that. And you're like, I just want, like everything feels, I think doing comedy too, when you go do a show, that's a lot.


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[Assistant] That's a big thing. And then, so everything is a big thing that you kind of just, I could see in your birthday, you're like.


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[Assistant] Well, I appreciate it, guys. Happy birthday, man. Thanks, man. Yeah. Yeah. Mark it on your calendars, people. Yep. It was, uh, what is, was yesterday. The 13th. Yeah. My dad's birthday is November 12th. Oh, nice. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I like saying happy birthday. I got all the birthdays in my calendar of everybody. I got yours in there. I didn't get one yesterday. Uh, I literally, me and Justin Smith were talking about it and I go, I'm gonna see him tomorrow. I'll just tell him tomorrow. That's what I honestly said that he goes, he's like, Taylor's birthday. I go, I'll just see him tomorrow. I go, I don't. Can you say last year you wished him happy birthday? Oh, last year I didn't respond.


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[Assistant] Uh, but I have all the birthdays in my calendar now. Cause I like...


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[Assistant] The people that were, you know, all the guys that, all the, you know, all the people that were with her, I kinda like being like, hey it's this guy's birthday. I also like that Justin knew.


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[Assistant] Do you know what Festivus is? Uh, well, I know the reference is from Seinfeld. It's he doesn't believe in, uh.


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[Assistant] What is it? The commercialized Christmas. Okay. So he's against that. Yeah. Anything, you know, it's like, it's all just like corporations just trying to sell stuff, blah, blah. So he just, so they have a poll and then he just goes around and tells people what, uh, you guys, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you might as well say it if there's, but we did talk about it. Yeah, I'd like, I mean, don't, you know, I don't wanna be left hanging. Like, everybody thought their boy was in this balloon.


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[Assistant] I mean, and it's one of those, I'm glad he wasn't there, but it's like, that's a perfect, they should just do these, someone should do this kind of stuff every now and again, just to kind of get everybody on board.


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[Assistant] They go, they go, we want to get rid of helium. And you go, of course. You go, yeah, you should. Boys are up there, you know, like you can't balloons. It's dangerous. And then now helium is, I mean, $80 a puff.