[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, should I, that sounds like I should be, like it was that close. That would almost be like a mitch head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's, uh, yeah, I think used, I think used to, I think you gotta, when it's 1582s. We should really work on the definition of used to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That always confused me. How we were like in the 20s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that doesn't, that seems weird. They should switch that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like all of the language of this where some people, like you're, it would, it sounds like you live in a village.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, well, some people, and by some people, I mean, you know, who's over in their tents over there. They're, they think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, with the days and stuff, cause I didn't know how we would get into this. I watched a conspiracy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jfk stuff's been talked about a lot lately I feel like, uh, and uh, they think one of the shooters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For JFK, supposedly with this one, I know it's random to get into this, but uh, eight, they think there's like eight shooters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one guy in a sewer, never heard about that, but a guy in a sewer. But one of the guys they think actually hit JFK, uh, would you, I don't, I don't think you could ever guess unless you knew in a million years who this, who the person could be.


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[Assistant] Someone you know's dead. A famous person's dead.


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[Assistant] The Rock's dead. Ted Cruz is dead. Ted Cruz, oh that's sad.


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[Assistant] Yeah, how crazy is that? His dad was, uh, like a hitman in the mafia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they, I mean, you know, I don't think Woody knew his dad, I'd imagine. That doesn't seem like a, that doesn't feel like a father that's there a lot. Uh, you know, like if he hit, like, there he goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go, I don't know. You go, I know, but he did awful things. You're like, I know, dude. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the little guy's name? Uh, Joe Pesci. He only makes pancakes for his kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe there's something else. You sing on Goodfellas. Casino. Casino, maybe. Yeah, yeah, you might, yeah, somewhere, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like someone made Pancake, like he's like taking his kids, you know what I mean? My people were, they have families, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, if you're in a standoff with the, I don't know, you know, I wouldn't say, if you're, you could yell some stuff that could throw people through some loops. You're like, uh, you know, uh, that was a part of the Valentine's day massacre. And everyone's like, what? And then they gotta be like, is he, is he old enough? It's just a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some questions are being asked. I couldn't think of anything. Like a bank robbery. I would say a bank robbery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could do that, yell out facts that people don't know. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Age 40. When did you perform at the, for the first time? 37?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yeah. I was at the, uh, I went to the Titans. Oh yeah. Look at, uh, they, they rode us in the T-Racks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] T-Rac. T-Rac. And then, uh, the back of the car. And, uh, yeaah, it was awesome. That picture is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, it was awesome man, and uh, they gotta, like, they were very cool doing it. I tell you what, getting traffic, getting to the Titans game, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, we left at 5, like I had to, that was at 6.45 and I think we left at 5.15 and I had to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we got in front of your, uh, old apartment, uh, I got out and walked to the stadium. So wherever that James Park, uh, where is it? James Robinson and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so it's like right there. So I'm not even, I'm on the opposite side of the interstate and I, uh, it was me, Harper and Lauren, uh, it was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was six, I think it was 630. So it was an hour and 15 minutes and we were just, and I mean, basically all of it was spent just there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, so then we had to get out and I mean, I just grabbed Harper and then me and Harper went. And then, I mean, I basically walked in and just got on that thing and then just drove around. I mean, it was like that quick. And Laura did not get to the, cause we were very, he was very lucky. I didn't meet the president.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The raccoon. Uh, Burke, wonderful, uh, wonderful guy. He's the president of the Titans. It was very fun being up there, uh, with him. And he came to the show and I got to meet him. So we were in, uh, uh, his suite. So then Laura didn't get into there until like 7.30. We lived at 5.15.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was, it was that tough to get in. I met Amy Strunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The owner, uh, very nice. Uh, yeah, it was cool. It was, uh, seeing the game was, you know, we had a good going, Josh Dobbs. That makes it fun. Yeah. It makes it, you know, next week, uh, that dude's a rocket scientist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If people don't know that, like the quarterback that they put in for the titans right now, Josh Dobbs, he played at Tennessee, which, you know, uh, that's tough, but he is a rocket scientist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's, you know, cause it, they say it's hard to learn a playbook and you're like, but with him, you're like, well, he can figure it out. He'll be all right. Yeah. Yeah. That's so yeah. Rocket site.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was great, the whole, uh, uh, I got to do a little thing with Dude Perfect, uh, to promote the special, January 31st, Amazon Prime, uh, and, uh, but the, yeah, the game was, the game was awesome and then, uh, next day went to Toronto for New Year's Eve. Toronto, so great, so nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were just, the crowds were so nice. Uh, and got to celebrate new years. Yeah. That was it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you say it? Guitar. Guitar. Guitar. Guitar. I say guitar too. Guitar. Yeah. Daddy, get the guitar out. That's people, you know. Don't have TV back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so it's like, it's kind of, uh, like, uh, Johnny cash. We are, I don't know. Like didn't he? I don't know. I don't know, man. Boy named suit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's like I was thinking we killed a man in Reno just to watch him die. Like that's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now he goes to prison, what does that, what does she do? Does she move on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, well, he's changed since you did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you could probably handle it. Why didn't you just beat him up? Why did you have to go as far as to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the, I don't know, it's making, it's just, it's the celebration of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a scenario where it's like, it's not supposed to be about you. It should be about her and it becomes about him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I did, like it's like, I went and handled it. So now the story is like, not even on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the situation, it's like, look at me. And then I went and did what's supposed to be the, I was thinking about that a lot. This, uh, and weirdly enough, like last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what that guy's shape is today, but it was like crazy to see what happened, right? And it was about that guy and that family and like all that. And then I was watching the coverage of it too afterwards and it's just kind of like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people talk about their feelings in that time and I didn't like that. Like it's like my, you know, it was like a lot of the announcers were, uh, not the announcers. I actually think they did great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They want him to be healthy, but then it's also like, you know, you just sit here and watch a game. Then they tell you from their perspective of watching the game and it's, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam Sheffer like is almost crying a little bit and all this stuff and you're like, I just don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it should be like that, like show those players and show those, you know who went to the hospital last night? The fans, the fans of the bingo fans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And stuff. They went to the hospital where he was at. The game ended and everybody just went home. It's like about, like the fans, that's not about the, it doesn't feel like it's about them. The fans are like, okay, it's a Monday night. They have to go to work the next day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game gets cancelled and then it shows bingo fans outside of that hospital praying and with, you know, candles and that kind of stuff. It's like, it just made me, it's like, it's a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I think it's all those fans. Oh, like you just want people to remember that. Like you're the one, you're, you're the ones that are the reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Earth is awesome. It's those fans, the fans that go there and about them. Not these announcers, not these, like all these other that are just trying to like, I feel like trying to even act like they have emotion about any of this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they're, it's like they wanted updates and I don't, I don't, I just, uh, it's hard for me to like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen to the, it's like, I'd rather just listen to the fan's experience of it or the, you know, cause it's like that really, you're really experiencing it versus someone on TV that's just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being like, just cancel the game, why didn't they just cancel the game? You're like, this has all happened. No one, they cancelled the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like they start then blaming someone. You're like, I imagine, it's insane what's happening. So we don't, it's all being figured out kind of in that time. And then it's like, I don't know, then it's like some of the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like they showed a little bit of like the bingo fans going to the, the regular fans that paid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It's like, uh, this is not. Yeah. Yeah. Well, good. You know, he's in jail forever, but what does Hardy look like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea, I don't know if that guy would have made it. Yea, maybe Tom Hardy as you have. Yea. That guy looks cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, yea, if you, if you trimmed it up, if you, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it made it like, yeah, yeah, man.


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[Assistant] Well over a million. You know what I mean? Like that's, you know who does that? You do. You listening to this. That's who does that. That's like, that's the point. Like that's the, it's like, it's all, it's us together. Like it's like, that's what makes, you know, it's, I don't know. I don't, I could be wrong on all this. I have no idea. I have a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I have a weird relationship with TV stuff. Like I don't, I just, it feels all fake to me. More than it ever has. I get that. I don't think they care. I don't think they, I think stuff


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, not the, not the athletes, but it's like, yeah, the, the, like the, you know, it's like, they gotta bring themselves like, right dude, we're all part of this, we cover this, so we're the same as you, and you're like, no dude, have some separation, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be, you know, it's, uh, I don't need every person on your, every ESPN person to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, here's my feel, you know, I just think about like, cause I don't believe it. I don't think you, you know, it's like, uh, I'm not buying it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, the highlights dude, they're showing. The other night I had it on ESPN late and it was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just the, the mo, it was, oh, the Jimmy V, like, you know, his famous speech, which is like great. It was, uh, two hours of those speeches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, and there, the speeches, I understand it. I under, but like, you also gotta go your entertainment, entertain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, don't, you can't just be like, I'm sitting on a couch like, oh my gosh dude, this is so heavy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. No, it does. Uh, let me read the first, uh, comments from you guys. That, yeah, I hope I didn't. The people. The people. I love the people. I'm having a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if that's her hashtag. Uh. Should be. Should be. Texas comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Vincent the Texan, as a native Texan and San Antonian, I was filled with immense pride hearing my city get a shout out almost immediately on the pod. Thanks for that big Tex bait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, thanks for teaching me neat facts I've, uh, never knew, like the small skyscraper and the helium up in Amarillo. I'm adding that to my Texas history knowledge. I think we need a Texas part two for barbecue sports legends, the Alamo and more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Biggest Europe. Right? Probably. No, I think it's bigger than all of Europe.


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[Assistant] When people always say like, we should be like Europe, you're like, well our one state is as big as all of you, so.


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[Assistant] You look it up, I'm almost saying, did you get a new laptop? No. Oh. Is it a different color or something?


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[Assistant] Maybe we should be like Europe then. What do I know? Maybe it's like England. Maybe Texas and England. I bet Europe would have known that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounded good. Yeah. All right. Well, learned something every day. Uh, I think I've said that a few times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think everybody here, well, Alaska though is so, uh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well it's so, like there's nothing there.


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[Assistant] There goes that. Richard Smith. So thankful Nate came out to West Texas and hope to see all of you out here soon.


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[Assistant] Nate, Nate murdered and so did Dustin, but the absolute best part of the Lubbock show was when Mick turned the crowd a hundred percent against him in 18 seconds.


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[Assistant] Into a set when he praised Lubbock as the home of the Texas A&M University Aggies. I love that Richard saw this. It was, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we, you know what's the, uh, Nick, cause we were talking in the car, Dustin thought so, they, we were like, they go, Texas A&M is here in Lubbock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, I was like, oh, okay. And then we said something to the lady, the driver, the runner we had. And I think she, I said something, it was like one of those, I don't know if anybody really knew what anybody was talking about. I remember seeing a sign that said Texas Tech is this way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, I didn't really think, I don't know, but they were in the middle of talking about Texaniums and I didn't really think of it. So Nick goes out and then just like starts talking about Texanium. Dustin also talked about it, but did it in a way where I think people were confused. They didn't know if he was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like he was making fun of it because we're in tech stick or whatever, but it was very, Nick brought it up immediately that, I mean, he walked out and just immediately just brought up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jennifer Wiley-Wright, I love this podcast so much. Only on Nate Land did the hosts go from talking about Passports, the Rolling Stones Sports Center, their love of cake, comedy gigs, chocolate, chili, spaghetti, and finally Godzilla in less than 20 minutes. I love you guys so much and I hope you all come to Wichita, Kansas in the near future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll be back there, I don't know, next year, but uh, yeah, Wichitaul, it's still one of my favorite- I love Wichitaul. I had a great show in Wichitaul. I was just there. On a Wednesday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Garrett S. I like that Aaron said the Cancun show was on his calendar for a year and he waits till the final day to try and get his passport. He really is a man of the people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Biggest show of his life. Find your niche niche. Uh, love how Nate, Nate's love of McDonald's has influenced how he now pronounces Mick Jagger to Mick Jagger. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Scott Speed. I like how Nate refers to the Rolling Stones as Mick Jagger's band that keeps playing so he can clear the building.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know about the greatest band of all time? Yeah. That's the band. Yeah. Well, they become the band. Yeah. You quickly become just the band. I mean, you gotta be like, yeah, we're rolling stones. And you're like, yo dude, we're in the band too. He's like, yeah, I'm Mick Jack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm Mick Jagger. So I'm going to get on out of here and they go on the base. Yeah. Oh yeah. Keith Richards. Maybe. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe there's just slowly, no I know that, yeaah. He's, they've been a man. They've been touring forever. Tell you what, uh, touring forever. Make sure you go out this weekend and catch one of Tom Hanks' new movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got, he's got another one out. I don't get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Pinocchio thing. And I'm a big Tom Hanks fan. How old is he?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 66. I'm a big Tommy. I'm not, this is not against Tom Hanks. It's a, but it's, it does seem, I was like, of course you just, I watched Elvis too. I don't know if, uh, I liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I won't watch it. Yeah, I, I, everybody went, everybody like loved it, Justin Smith loved it, told me to watch it. I just didn't like the way he was. I haven't seen it. I didn't like the way he was done. Yeah, I won't watch it. It was like done, like the way he was told, it was like kind of a back and forth, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, and to me it was like Elvis's life after going there, you're like, his life is so crazy. You want to be like, just do the movie. It was kind of done in like a different kind of way. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean dude, look at how many movies has he made since like, go, go up. I mean, I understand all of them in his print. Now go right there. 2013. So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 16 movies since 2013. So 10 years he's done 16 movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, I've met him and he was the, he was the best. He's so nice. He's the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Polar Express is like one of our, we watch it every year. Uh, but yea, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it? I don't know, it just says it. There's movies, it's solely, I mean he, is he, he's, I guess probably the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But who's, would you even be able to say someone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had, uh, I have a friend that just worked with Brad Pitt on like, he's a writer, and he came on something, a show, I don't, I think it's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, surprise. So I don't know, but he just came in and did an episode and they said, he said Brad Pitt was the best. Like just he goes, he goes, I mean, just the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just such an awesome dude and like just talking to everybody like very like, I think would, uh, you know, make fun of himself and like, and just walk around and be like, oh, what's up? You know, like one day he said he was just sitting in like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when you're around him, you're like, yeah, that's why you're a star.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree. Tom Cruise is great too, but I would almost say they're a little different. Tom Cruise is different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom, but Tom Hanks is that you've done commercial, you're that good of an actor, and to have the mass appeal is very hard to do. There's not, like, Daniel D. Lewis can't go host Saturday Night Live or something. Like, he's not, he's, you know, it's like, that's just, but that's not what he does. It's like, he's like, he's like a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd have to look, I mean- I bet someone, we'll see, someone's gonna say-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Road to Perdition I think is a movie that me and Laura, she thinks she saw with me. I've never seen it. And she tells me I was there. And I say, I was not there. I've never seen them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he just tells you how big the earthquake was?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's my family, I tell my family that every day. I tell them to be normal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, stuff we didn't get to in the 2022 comments. This is the comments from that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Cameron, the fact that people are literally texting comments to Bates directly is the most Bates thing to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Sean Toblin, Tobin, Tobin, Tobin, Sean Tobin, I bet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Dusty coming up with his genius math in one breath.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty coming up with genius math in one breath, then saying that he likes to think aliens are less smarter than us in the next breath is peak Nate Land podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Forrest Gump, you would, you know, you're like, well, I don't know if that guy's the right, he's not the smartest guy in the world, but he, he got farther than anybody else. He gets things done sometimes. Like he's just an alien.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Colin O'Neill, the math that Dusty discovered is called Digital Root.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It also works with multiplication, subtraction, and division for all non-negative numbers. It's a negative, it's a mean number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uh, yeaah, well, you know, all the, the, the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] None of those people are, they're, it's not even like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And most everybody's just like, yeah, I didn't know that. And then they move on. That's how everybody acts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, Garrett, here's another fun math fact for you. The difference between a two digit number and the sum of its digits is always a multiple of nine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what it would be if it is like 63 and that's nine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it'd be 30, wait, so what'd you just say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got thrown off. I got thrown off. It was 52. We should be writing it. 5 plus 2 is 7, so 52.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One plus twelve. One plus two is three. But why do you do that? One plus two is three, then twelve minus three is nine. But you wouldn't, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see what I'm saying? When you go down to that, it's like, well, then it just works out. 12 minus three is nine. But when you go to the top, the big numbers, then you're like, well, then now you're adding stuff and it gets weird. It's a mess up there. It's two different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole terriology thing reminded me of a day when I was in first grade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, I could, I could definitely, I could see a moment. I could have a moment. I have had a moment like that. I can't remember exactly, but like that where you just end up, you get two in your head and then you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come back to the bathroom and you're like, this doesn't even matter anymore. Whatever she's telling you doesn't matter. We have nine fingers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, it just did, this whole thing's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one thing I forgot to mention too, uh, cause I've talked about, I got my wisdom teeth out. Oh yeah. That was a big, yeah. Uh, it was, uh, yeah, I had no, it was good. It was, I mean, it is, I got put out and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, I got put out, I got put to sleep. It is crazy, you just go like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just the guy, I remember he asked me if I knew, he's like, oh, you know this guy? And you're just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think, uh, you know, and then you're just... Were you nervous?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I did laughing gas. The, just to kind of like, because I was like having that panic. And then it was, uh, but then, I mean, I don't really remember anything. And uh, so yeaah, it was good. Yeaah, but I was nervous at the beginning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I had one, I just did the top ones. The bottom one's not like it's needs to come more. So I just did the top ones and the one, this, the one on my right, I mean, was like, I, it felt like I didn't even have anything done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the left one, I think I had the, it was a little up there or is a little affected and it was, uh, so my mouth has been sore, uh, still a little sore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good man, glad I wouldn't mess me up for weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, no, it was, I was, yeah, cause we, I mean, it was all during Christmas and then whatever. And then, uh, I got into, I started eating bad though. That was the bad thing. Cause I started eating some ice cream and then you're like, oh boy, just got down a spiral. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my buddy Doug, uh, Brownie wrote the, who made the music, safety suit and made the music for this. They were in Phoenix and I mean, they canceled their flight and they.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it was on the 27th, he was supposed to come home or something and they just go, there's no more flights until after the new year. Yeah. Which was, I mean, that's a lot of days. Uh, so, and then I think they just, they ended up finding some flights. Cause I feel like they just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, like Southwest is like, you're kind of stuck in it. And so you got to go like everybody's flights canceled. Now go buy new flights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know. But that, yeaah, that, it was, uh, it's a tough one for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like just do something, but it's like, some people put a bag down or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't tell someone I'm, I don't think you can say I'm saving the seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if they were right, I think I've had being like, it's that guy behind you. Coming down the aisle right now. Ain't I, if I know there's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're like, you're trying to take a seat that's like, you can sit there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I don't, cause it adds a little stress to the, you gotta be like, we have to be there cause you get boarded late. I'm not the biggest fan of it either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do better if it's like, you know, if you can get on someone, we have your, like your family, it's perfect cause it's like y'all three. So, and you get a board, uh, and you get the family boarding, so you're guaranteed a row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta go, if A, she's gotta go to the back. And then, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you can't, well, I know, but it's like, that's the thing is like you're, you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, that's, you know, it's like, you have to be very confident.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you gotta, are paid for their, are paid for all the things. And if you're like, it's expensive, you're like, yeah, it is. And that's why you don't get to save the seats. Totally. Yeah, I agree. Cause the extra word, that's the one thing that drives Southwest too is when they let, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you get on a plane that has some people that stay on the plane, because you could be A1 and you're like, Oh, I'm going to get any seat I want. And then you get on the plane and you're like every, there's only two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three, there's only, there's only three good seats on, on Southwest, that long one. I don't, and I don't even like that one, but you got the two exit rows. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Window and uh, and then the long one. And now sometimes now they've added more extra rows, but so you're looking at four, at the most four good seats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you get on a plane and they're taking you like, well, then what was the point of me buying all this? Cause then you're just letting any, you know, it's like, there's no system. Like you should tell those people you can move, but you can't move to an exit road because people, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Borderline, if she said something to him, that guy might have just gone, no, no, I understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, it's, well, it's the, the arrogance people have with these airplanes that they, they, and I, look, I get, get in the hold of them, but yeah, like it's, everybody's like, how dare you do this to me? Like you see a lot of blue check marks complain about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stuff and you want to go like, yeah, do what you're a, if you're, if you're doing well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Disgusting. I mean, the grossest thing possible. Who do you think you are that you think, oh, I can just, I can just tell them what to, you know, don't treat me like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what watches do they, like, uh, yeah, I got some good. It's, uh, how can you use those watches though? The, the smart ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much is that one though? 20 bucks? Yea, 20 bucks. You're just giving that to a kid. Uh. As a toy? Yea. Well one of them Vtech, we might actually have one of those watches, that's like the one that's for kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, what is it? So the airport sells it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they may have to buy it from the airport. Well that's what I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, uh, yeaah, wonder how, yeaah. You mean like the carousel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much do they pay though? Like, it's like, does the airport pay? Like, I mean, how much do they charge them to buy the stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go get your luggage, because everybody's just, like, I like this store. But then you're like, you're paying the airport?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's, I gotta, that's the stuff I don't, so you gotta, so this place, you like, what do you do? You write a check to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You pay to check it. Maybe you didn't go get it cause of this situation. They lost it. They lost it. They lost it. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty funny. They, you pay to check it. They lose it. They sell it. Someone else buys it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that is a funny, that is a funny business. You go, well, you lost it. But they got to give you money if you lose it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this whole episode is just like stuff we were already talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they, they, they, they, they do the three hour rule and then they go, well, there's, you know, this one thing happened once. So now you're, you know, it's like, yeah, but it doesn't happen. So just be an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like everything, no, I'm not, yeah, I'm saying like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rules, it always ends up being, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, this one time this thing, you're like, yeah, yeah, but that doesn't happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the everyday situation doesn't mean I want to be in your weird situation because you're going one time, it really worked out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they go, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just a heads up. They should have you walk around. Yeah. It just, uh, you know, when you go, Hey, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. This episode is sponsored by better help. I can tell you some guys that need that right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when you are, uh, not at your best, you can, uh, when you're at your best you can do great things, but sometimes you're not at your best and life gets busy and you may feel overwhelmed and, uh, you know, you're not showing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in the way you want. Working with a therapist can help you get closer to the best version of you. Uh, because when you're talking things out, you can be more prepared to take on everything that life throws at you. I would say that, but uh, if you can wrap your head around what's about to happen, you can handle it better. If you can wrap your head around, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That this day might not like, you know, this day is going to be a crazy day. You end up having a, you know, a good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You end up handling it better. Uh, it's, look, if you're down, if you're, you know, uh, we, we've had a lot of people listen to podcasts and stand up and they can be going through stuff and it is, it's, it's, it's go talk to someone. Uh, better help is a great option for that. It is convenient. It's flexible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get mad about ESPN. Maybe I should go talk to someone. To be like, why am I mad at ESPN? But I'm furious at him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, yeaah, go get help. If you want to live, uh, if you want to live a more empowered life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash Nate today to get 10% off your first month. Uh, that is better help H E L P dot com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go get the help that you need. Make yourself a better person. Make yourself be able to handle all the craziness of the world that goes on and uh, it is a great thing. Betterhelp.com slash Nate today to get 10% off your first day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done the, there's an, uh, one in LAX. You pay for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you pay membership for it. They do the same security, private, and take you to the plane in a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Uh, yeah, I've done it once. Uh, there's a room. It's, uh, it's, it's, uh, yeah, you go, like you drive up and, uh, you, there's a room that you stay in. There's food there. You can get a massage. You can get like, I think you get your hair cut. Like it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's a service, like I don't have a membership to it. I got to do it. I think I got to do it because it was like a credit card and like, it was like, I got a thing to go do it, but it was unreal. Like you go and you, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go in a, you just drive up, they get you, I mean, the plane's boarding, like you come up that, you know, the door where you sit down, the luggage or whatever, you, uh, they drive you there, you come up the stairs, uh, you might board before anybody's even on the plane for the, you're maybe the first person that, and then they kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sitch in that way. Uh, I don't know if it's not at every airport. It's at LA. It's in LA, but I mean for LA it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean it's, you know, that thing's a nightmare. So you can show up whenever you want. You can show up early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, if you're like, I'm going to go and enjoy the thing, you could go there and show up early and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, you go through your own security kind of thing. They drive you in the car. You just drive around. I mean, it's, yeah, it's the most convenient. You get your own little, you can get a room where you could, I mean, it, it's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen Vince, I was on a flight with Vince Vaughn once in Chicago, and uh, he, someone drove him in a golf cart up to the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, not to the plane too, they drove through the thing up to the boarding process. And I think someone kind of maybe stood there with them or, you know, but he boarded, like he was on the phone, he boarded on the plane, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normal, but it was, it's like, I don't think they can, they have them, he couldn't just go sit in the, well, everybody else. Cause it was like too many people would have came up to him. Uh, but I know then a lot of them, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's been, you see people, but a lot of them will be in the airport like normal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know Rory Scovel met Ryan Gosling and once at, uh, and they were just going through TSA together and they were in the lounge together. So, I mean, I think they go up to that lounge or whatever, you know, and maybe they're just pay for it. I'm sure if someone's super famous, they're just like, no, just going in, you can come in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can pay for everything. You can pay for everything. So that's what they're, you know, they're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, but she has, she pays for some thing like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that one is crazy. That one you're not on, you're not even remotely, you're at a different thing. It's wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet they ask you, so then they ask you to leave. Yea, they're like, uuuh. Well, if you get like credit cards, yea, I mean everybody, you get benefits from, if you travel a lot, you're gonna give your diamond, I think I'm diamond with Delta, like it's, you're, you just end up, cause you fly a lot. Right. You're these things, so you get, uh. Have you seen the Southwest Lounge at Nashville Airport? I've never seen a Southwest Lounge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been in a big lounge, I like walking around the airport. I've done some lounges a little more just because we have a group of us, it's like just to go sit down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a big, I don't mind strolling. I kinda, you know, just walk around. Uh, I don't hate an airport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't mind the hole. As long as I can go through it without the stress. I mean, if you get like, you know, look, if there's a ton of lines and it's a, and you got the stress, it can be very stressful. But I don't, when you get through security, I don't mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll, I'll avoid them. Cause I wanna, I'm trying to prolong the walk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? That was a big deal. Yea, Nashville Works good. It's like when they're going through this, fixing it, there was times you're like, God, this is awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like it's about to get, I mean Hotels about done, like Nashville. I was saying that we're the Titans game. We're talking about the Nashville is about to be insane. We're going to be Chicago. I think like you're going to, it's, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crazy and beautiful and like, it's, it's, it's super funky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there's nothing. I'm just joking. You did everything at the airport. Oh yeaah. But that is, that story is crazy. Like it feels uncomfortable. I thank everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, yeah, I mean, you're always like, this stuff is cool, but there is times where you, I don't know, maybe it's the older you get, the more you go, you're like, ah, what are you doing? Like you're, you go, you're just, I'm just walking out and then you're, yeah, you're getting closer and closer to be like, there's a chip coming. That chip, that chip is going to go into someone because you're,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, I mean, maybe it's, maybe it's just your eyes or it's something, but it's like, there's, you know, I watch, there's a chip coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You remember like, like, you know, it's like, it would be like the mark of the beast. You would think like, how could they ever, when you first heard about it, you're like, well, how could they put a chip in? Who would take it? Who would ever, who would take it? Why would you ever be talked into it to go and like, yo dude, it's in my lifetime, it's like, eh, there's a chip coming. And they were talking like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, you're like, and there's MP, and you're like, you see how you're, they could make you do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, yeah, I would argue that that's never happened and they've talked about that's what we should do. That's what I would argue. Cause it's like flying Southwest. Yeah. Cause you're, you're like, when would you, you know, I mean, I, she definitely would have flown Southwest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think they're Ticketmaster stuff? I don't, that stuff is crazy to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it is, it's like Ticketmaster is in, it's, they're, it's insane. They're awful. And then, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they do it and like, but then on the stuff, then the things go up, you have the fees and you're, yeah, it's a weird, it's a weird thing. And then her stuff though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Cause I don't know if she's doing something she needs to do. She's the one that can do something. I mean, do whatever she wants. I'm not telling someone to do something. Right. But, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they did this, cause I went, when I went, uh. Oh, this is happening to you? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is when I had the opposite of claustrophobia. I was like, this space is too big. I can eat a smaller space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a pee really bad, so I mean the second we could, I got up and I was like, can I go to the bathroom? And she's like, yeah. And then they, she did that because it was a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What brought up this whole conversation was the fact that you're showing a thing about how they can unlock and lock it from the outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they can unlock it from the outside, would you assume they could lock it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could also go live in a park. I watched another Seinfeld, uh, the Kenny Roaster. Yeah, Kenny Rogers. Kenny Rogers Roaster. And he goes, why don't we, uh, move, why don't we switch apartments? And Jerry just goes, I could also go live in the park. He wants to move in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was moving here. No, he said switch. He goes, let's just switch a bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, I could also go live in the park. Or I could move out and we just, then you knock all the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I would really go hard. Y'all can't crack a window. Like just give one, go down, go down a little bit. You can't, those pilots have to open a door, open a window, just a quick two minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take that plane down, 10,000 feet, whatever it is, 20, 15,000, 20,000 pilots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you could probably like, they can't crack, you know, but you could open the, you could open the pilot's windows up in the front, open the, you know, open it a little quick, you know, breeze through here, shut it, head back up. We're all good. Not a problem. Not a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a tough one. That's a tough one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turn it around. Turn it around. Turn it around. That food is, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They land, yeah, landed in just, yeah, they just landed in some, the Kansas city over there at their airport. And then they get the steps and they have that guy go first and they go, we're just going to get off. And he gets down to the bottom and they go, and they shut the door and they go, enjoy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're saying like is, is your 60% there or your whatever? Uh, I think you're about a third of the way there. Uh, so you don't want to do percentages. Uh, 33.333. I mean, that was the whole, everything about of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're at home, let's do a poll. We haven't done a poll in a while. What's the percentage of you? Is it one third or half?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He just, he, I could see that you just sit there and you wait till the people show up and they go, are those seats taken? You go, no. And I was the first to board. I bet we're almost out of space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good for 35,000. So you're saying, you're saying we're 33% there. I think we're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 75% there. I think we're almost there. I say 50. Yeah, that's a good answer for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy. I could see that. I mean there, it's, it's all autopilot. I mean, how are you not falling asleep?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I think, I thought I always heard they land just because they want to land. Like you could, it would land, it would be, I'm surprised the plane didn't just start going down on its own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta set your alarm though, be like, we're gonna be there. I could see nodding off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would want the other one to be like, look, you, I'm not off, then you not off, but it's gotta be just like, you're just that hum of that plane in that seat. Just looking at the same clouds. Like we're all, people can not off in the back. And so, you know, if you're on like a 13 hour, I mean, how are you not, it'd be weird if they were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean I bet, I bet there's times you go to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That cockpit and there's, you're like, hello? No one's in there. They're both up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you gotta, are you watching movies or you're doing something? Yeah. It's cramped up there too. I've never been to the, I've never, they won't let me go up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You haven't seen it though, like when you see them like- Oh yea, you can look in there. When you see them go sit in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm not, I don't think anybody's there, I just walked up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's, I mean, you're just, I think the charging of people's out, like you're, there's just, they're just making up stuff. And then everybody, it's all us paying it. It's this fee. It's that, you know, it was like the nine 11 tax, like the, there's all, there's all like, we're just paying it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your business, it's not like you're, if you're in airport, you're also like, well we also have a lot of other, you know, we're a mall too. You're like, well no one's coming to your mall unless that plane lands. Right. So the plane is your business. That's my point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but the airplane could be like, well we're going to go to another airport that's not called Charges.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're the business. You don't exist, you only exist because a plane is landing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you both need each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then if I could bel- I'm fine charging if I can believe you're not chart making us pay for it. And I don't think that. I think we're, we're paying for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, yeah, it is good. They at least give you a giant, like, it's at least like, it's a bucket of coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't either, but it felt right at the time. Yeah, it felt good. Yeah. I'm a, uh, I had a good Diet Coke. I went to Old Spaghetti Factory in Toronto.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it was around the corner. They were open late. I know Toronto has a lot of good places. They were, it was great. And they had, uh, they had the red plastic cups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the, no, the, the like Pizza Hut red, not plastic or I guess it is plastic, but yeah. And like they had those and you see those, you know, you know, you're about to get a good diet coke and it was a good diet coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't imagine. Yeah. You know, I don't think they're buying dead chickens. I think they got chickens and when that trigger is pulled, it becomes a dead chicken. So they are technically firing a dead chicken at the window. Yeah, we load a live chicken. Yeah, they got the chicken getting there. It walked in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think most people do. I don't, I mean, I used to be super strict about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you did it? You don't have to do that now. You don't have to do that now. Yeah, that, yeah. I can't remember what it was. Oh, it was, yeah, you're, you're, you're not allowed to, you're allowed to have your phone on or something. Or you can, you know, it's gotta be in airplane mode. And I was like, it was, but that was back when it was like supposed to be, I think it was supposed to turn it off. Yeah, back in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, and then, uh, yeaah, yeaah, I forget that, that was a good joke. And then, uh, uh, but, now, people are texting, I'll be honest, I'll text.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know and i'll put an airplane but i'll be texting up until where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like right when you start to lift off, it's like your phone doesn't work up there. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, it doesn't matter. I do always put it in airplane mode. I don't leave it just on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I put an airplane mode. People on the phone and stuff like that, that stuff's crazy. I've seen people talk. Speakerphone. Oh, oh, but there'd be like just, I mean we're taking off and you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo dude, you're not, you definitely can't be just, you're just the courtesy of just going like, we have a system, man. Just do it. We're all doing it. Like, you know, you don't need your, it's the annoyance. I don't think the plane's going to go down because of it, but it's, you're being annoying and talking very loud. Anybody that talks on the phone loud where you can hear, I mean, if you call me and I'm on the phone, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like hello, is that, and then I'm gonna talk to like Laura or something like, yeah, I'm on a flight. Like it's never just, hey, what's going on everybody? It's like, hello. People boarding with the Bluetooth just talking all loud, talking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. That's pretty good. Uh, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is funny that you're talking about. I do admit that's very funny. Oh, thanks man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, that was the punchline that my Tiger Woods would be the punchline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I couldn't think of it. Yeah. Excel. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, yeah, I did mention, yeah, it is, it's a nod to Tiger Woods, the Hello World, but it's like, I did it cause it's like a very warm greeting was the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, I came up with, with the, with the idea, the, the greeting. I just wanted something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be like, uh, you know, Tennessee kid, the greatest, like it's not about a joke in the thing. And so hello world felt very welcoming and polite. And then I was like, oh, and then, and then tiger said it. And so that's fun. That's perfect. Serendipity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Goofus and Galant is American shot comedy. Oh, look at that. There's Goofus and there's Galant. What's Galant mean? It might be Gallant. I don't know. Goofus and Gallant? Could be Gallant. Gallant sounds better. What does, what does that mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be. Yeah. He only has one friend. I mean, but Galant has two friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you know, you're like, stand up, maybe. I mean, the goofus is like, y'all don't know what Gallant's doing. Look at him. He sits down. He's eating the orange. He makes people go, you want this orange? Come get it. This orange. I'm not getting up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, thank you to our sponsors, Athletic Greens, Zoc Doc, Rocket Money and BetterHelp. Don't forget to use our promo code Nate. Uh, yeah, as always, we love you. Happy new year. Welcome to the new year. Oh yeah. You know, it depends on what the show is. Where is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, go to that. That's yeah, this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to that. Yeaah. I'll be at uh, yeaah. I'm going to Comedy and Magic Club in LA. Alright. To work on new stuff. I think it's sold out. But it's like we're going. Exciting. Work on some new stuff. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Jonesboro, Arkansas. Coming out there. Chattanooga. A lot of stuff. Uh, alright. We love you. Happy New Year. Uh, remember you are the best. You are. I will, uh, we'll see you next week. Alright, bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 1980, Harrelson had a six hour standoff with the police.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, I killed Judge Wood and I killed President John F. Kennedy. He said later, I was just saying that to, uh, give by myself some time, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is the youngest comedian to ever perform at the Grand Ole Opry. Well, I'd like to, uh, I'd like to challenge that fact, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm going off the fact that Dusty said it. And then I was like, well, I was younger than him when I made my debut. So I've just been going off of that. Who knows if it's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lighten it up. Do you ever think when you were younger, you'd be living this crazy life that you're living right now, dude, just rockstar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people said you did. Oh, I got a little bit of flack for it. Yeah. But I was, you know. And what'd you do last night? I went to, I went to Monday Night Raw. Wow. At Bridgestone. Wow. It was awesome, dude. Alright. I got swept up in it. Live wrestling


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, uh, my favorite part was Hardy. You know, there's another country singer, Hardy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's in the audience, and they kinda cut to him a couple times on the big screen, and everyone goes, oh that's Hardy, and at one point,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a brawl going on, you know, the announcer tables flipped over. It's just chaos. And Hardee's has a guitar somehow and he's trying to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's trying to give one of the guys a guitar to hit the other guy with. And I'm thinking, Oh man, they're going all hard. He's going rogue over there, you know? So then they ignore him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go back into the ring and then all of a sudden Hardy jumps out of the crowd into the ring and hits the dude with the guitar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you guys know. I was going into it completely blind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, it's with him and Laney Wilson and it's kind of a back and forth. She gets a verse. She plays the character of the woman that he protects. Yeah. Yeah. She was bruised and broke from head to toe with a tear in her bloodstained shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She didn't, she didn't tell the whole truth. She didn't have to. I knew what happened to her. I didn't let her down with questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, she'd been through a lot. I just threw it in drive, looked in those eyes and asked her where he was. So then he shows up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he says, wait in the truck. Didn't try to hide my pistol. I didn't even try to run. I just sat on the porch smoking one of his cigarettes, waiting for the cops to come.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like- It's cool to kill somebody for no reason, but to do it to avenge somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, two things could happen at once. She can leave him and he can take care of it. Yea, but now he's gotta go to prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, he's dead. The guy's dead. He said, I might be here forever, prison. It ain't paradise, that's true, but it's a whole heck of a lot better than the place I sent him to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it's a fine line because if I can't talk about how I experienced it, I have nothing to contribute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they should all just agree, like we, we can sit here and kill dead air for, for a long time. It's just, we got nothing to say. They just analyze it to death. They could just cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looks a little bit like Dusty, honestly. Like a guy that would do this. I have nothing against Hardy either. No, Hardy is the, you know, he's played a character in the song. But he looks a little bit like, uh, some Dusty Slay vibes there for sure. He used to be compared all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it was a very odd kind of, uh, dark moment at the Monday Night Raw last night was while everybody's getting updates about, uh, Hamlin getting hurt in the game. There was like a storyline going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a goal of $2,500 and the last time I looked it was well over


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just a little. No, Europe is significantly larger than Texas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Europe has an area of 10 million square kilometers. Texas has only 695 square kilometers. So, 205,000 I should say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're talking about commercial success and just cultural impact. It's hard to beat Tom Hanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the top of Tom Hanks Wikipedia page it says this article is about the American actor. For the seismologist, see Thomas C. Hanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's tough for this guy. This guy is good enough at seismology that he has a Wikipedia page, but he's Tom Hanks. His whole life everyone's dissapointed. I think it's like earthquakes. Like a seismograph.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say the thinking is in order to get all the way to earth, you had to have access to some technology. We have to know something we don't to be able to get all the way here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was, it was, uh, it's a good example. We talked about this before when something you post online gets outside of your world. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has over a million views on TikTok. I got a bunch on Instagram. People have no context for what this podcast is or who any of us are. And I did edit the video for comedic effect, so it makes Dusty look a little silly. I want it to look funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the amount of just mathematicians apparently who saw this, half of them say what Dusty said is wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? People are saying this doesn't work. Right. And it works every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other half were going, this is so obviously true. You guys are idiots for having to even point it out. So I are, I mean I spent all of Christmas day arguing math with people. I was like, I'm getting fed up with the comments. I would, I'm defending Dusty in my honor. And they're like, just arguing math with people. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I had never heard the term digital root. I didn't know that this was the case. You know, I've taken math classes, people acting like you learned this in second grade. Yeah. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I'm in there arguing, you didn't know this. Don't act like you're a genius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The difference is between 52 and 7. About 13.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 63. That's the number you're picking? Yeaah. 6 plus...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's okay. I forgot what we were even doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me ask you guys something. Do you know how much your subscriptions cost? Most Americans think they only spend around $80 a month on subscriptions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're wrong. When the actual total is closer to $200, you know, if you don't know exactly how much you're spending every month, you need


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rocket money. Look, I've talked about it ad nauseum. I've got a problem with this. I'm subscribed to a hundred different things. I lose track of it. Planet Fitness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I've got like a bunch of software I subscribe to and I forget about. It's a problem. I need to get on rocket money. You might know it as TrueBill. That's what it's formerly known as. It is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All in one place. It will quickly and easily identify your subscriptions for you, so you can stop paying for the ones you don't want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Find the subscription you don't want and press cancel. They'll do all it for you. You don't have to worry about, you know, filling out the form, calling a number. They take care of it for you. Over 3 million people have used Rocket Money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which saves the average person up to $720 a year. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash Nate. That's rocketmoney.com slash Nate. Rocketmoney.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good man, glad I wouldn't mess me up for weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. I'll, I'll fly Southwest till, till the day I die. Even if you make it big? They're the only company I think I'm loyal to. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And they handled everything that happened. I think they handled it the way, I mean, I understand a lot of people's Christmases were ruined.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everything, but I think they handled it like you'd want a company to handle it. Where they came out and they were like, we messed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're gonna do everything we can to make it right. That's what it felt like for me as somebody who was not personally that affected by what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure if you were there in the airport, stranded for a few weeks, not weeks, but you know, a few days, uh, feel differently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's gamesmanship. That's all part of the yeaah. I'm gonna fatten myself in this aisle, take up space. That's all part of it. But you can't straight up go, I'm saving this for my husband.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wanted an exit row, but one lady was holding three rows for her entire family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reality is in this situation, it's up to the flight attendant to recognize what's going on and being like, you, if you want to sit with your family, you have to go back in line and board with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't show up and hold an exit row of all rows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I tell y'all, I don't know if y'all agree with me, the only thing that annoys me more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then what this woman is doing in this picture is the fact that somebody took a picture of her and posted this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that's becoming a real thing that bothers me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is why not, why is this a moment that you had to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A, it's weird of, I know it's her, she's not facing the camera, but you took a picture of this woman and you tweeted it out. Like that, the whole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That whole type of behavior is really starting to bother me. Just photographing strangers in public and putting it online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like this is just a moment that should live and die on that plane right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's part of why I took a hard Southwest stance. I got annoyed by all the people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the outrage, as if what happened was personal to them. And you go, yeah, my mom's flight got canceled too, but she does, she's not on Twitter. You know, it's not about you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm just being the contrarian there, defending Southwest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I doubt you buy a watch for there and it's just like, you know, you have to enter the passcode and you don't know it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The amount of detail they have in the, uh, on their website is unclaimed baggage has purchasing agreements for unclaimed items with all domestic airlines and other travel and transportation companies. So they don't go into a whole lot of detail how this works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only .03% of all checked luggage this happens to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's put up some fences. Yeah, not everyone gets in a wreck on the street, but so, but let's put up some speed bumps to make sure nobody else


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For so many people it would be impossible for them to go through the airport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to work for a PR company here in Nashville and one of their clients was the Nashville airport. I remember when that, it was a very big deal when that happened. It was the first airport to let you carry beer around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they got the new, which I tried, it's a lot of fun. They got the little store where you don't have to check out at all. You just grab stuff and leave. That's a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's wild dude. See, that's why Taylor Swift can't go through the airport normally. You know, that's why you gotta get the special treatment. That's crazy, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what, yeah, I've heard, I've heard that. I don't know the details. Okay. I think, I think that happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have like a monopoly on the industry, which is frustrating. I have to use them all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's through the venue, right? They have these contracts through the venue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It actually makes me relieved that, that there's... They're getting rest. A, that they're getting rest. But B, that so much of it is automated that there's less risk for human error.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] New at a Christmas, we went to this nice restaurant, my wife and her family, and they're all getting this fancy stuff. And I said, give me a Diet Coke. And they brought out the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The glass, like the glass bottle and the guy put a lemon in the cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I was making everybody, take a sip of this. This is the best Thai Coke I've ever had. Nobody seemed to be as big on it as I was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever the equivalent of Hello World would be for Excel. Oh yeaah. I couldn't think of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gail asks, what do you want to do next? Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm here with, uh, uh, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. Yep. Look at y'all. All here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Helix lineup includes 14 unique mattresses. Helix Sleep is a premium mattress brand that provides tailored mattress based on your unique sleep preferences. Go to helixsleep.com slash Nate. With Helix, better sleep starts now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or where we're going. Yes. Where we're at this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is fun. It's all good. It's all good. It's all good. What's your hat now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say Kmart was like, I would say Kmart and Target probably have more to do each other than Walmart. I just remembered there was a Kmart in Lebanon before Walmart came. They were the new kid on the block. I'm sure that's the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how you're going off the history of Walmart as you go. Well, Lebanon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Walmart was not first? Or Kmart? Like I mean, I still haven't seen the date of going like Kmart was first, then Walmart came on. Like it's like Kmart got bigger first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Walmart started in 1962. Is that? Yeah. And Target started in 1902. Target.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted, it looks like Kmart was before Walmart. It's what I wanted to know. And then you typed in what overtook, when did Walmart overtake Kmart? Which the conversation I think started with, uh, who was first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you just went to overtake. Very college way to go. I'm hoping to get some corporate games. I just want to see the actual numbers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. And then I didn't believe that. And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I see the people also search. I'm not saying that that wasn't true, but I was, I was like, I just wanted to see it. You were never giving me a direct, like I wanted my own Google search. You wanted it in the larger font. I wanted a larger font.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, these Costco, these Walmart, they're new, new to the game. Well Sears, but they're all, Kroger's still doing good. Sears was a catalog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Sears, it said, started in, uh, 18, before 1893 or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they were the big deal. I, I saw, I remember when Sears was, like when I was around, Sears was a big deal. It was a bigger deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I used to deliver for Sears, scratch and dip. I delivered, uh, uh, when I did refrigerators and stuff like that, we did it. There's one off of, there are Applebee's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, that's great. Yeah. I wish they'd still have that kind of stuff. They may still have it over there. I delivered from that place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, alright, uh, Florida Guam, of course, Jersey, New York, Puerto Rico, Virgin Island, St. Croix, Croix. Alright, alright, that's where I would have guessed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steven Nup, Nup, N-U-P-P, was in Sam's Club in Corpus Christi, Texas and saw another Nate Land fan. For some reason, I yelled out, hello folks, without looking, he just yelled, hey bear, and we just went about our day. It was beautiful. I love that. Wow. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can just tell, it's in the eyes. It's just, uh, just look at another person's eyes and then you're like, that's a nightmare. There's just nothing behind them. There's nothing, yeaah. He was lost in the store. There's not much, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sarah Nester Nester Nate has dyslexia. Aaron has gout. Brian had a stroke and dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Must have ADHD. The amount of fidgeting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does, combined with how often he zones out makes me absolutely certain despite my lack of any medical training whatsoever. And that's the kind of training, that's the kind of advice


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They tell me my hands are, or some of my hands still look orange. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would think they look orange because of the cameras or something. Maybe that's the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I shake a man's hands and he goes, go, go. God, because you got something on the back of your hand. I go, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll do the whole episode like this, see if you get used to it. I just need everybody to get used to it. I don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I have thought about the golf like, I'm still golfing, I'm still going to golf, but I have been thinking like I need to back out of the sun at least for a little bit for the special. I don't need to go too crazy. So I've just been in it so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, I have a towel on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And be like, there it is right there. I get it started. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, that's all, like, he's, he's good at premises. This is what he does. This is what the kid does. I'm a premise guy. He's a premise machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, uh, I have a towel that sits on the stool and I've never touched it, but I carry a towel with me in my, uh, backpack. I love a towel, but it's a stage towel. It's like, I mean, I love a black one. I just love having a towel, but I'm sweating. I just don't. Sorry. Uh, I sweat. I don't sweat much on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna just keep walking. I won't keep walking unless someone doesn't move it. And then, alright. Uh, John.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't watched the video version of Nate Lantz since the first few episodes until today. And it blew me away how good Aaron looks. If he watches this one, he's like, he goes, Oh, I guess it's a rerun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, I'll start, I'll start making fun of you being fat once you get back to fat. Cause then I'll have to feel bad. I never thought of you as fat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Veeda had a picture of the last time I was at, uh, in Charlotte, a picture of me. And yeah. Yeah, you look good there though. You just, you're a big dude, so it helped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where is that? Yeah, yeah. That was when we were doing those driving shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I support it. Yeah, no. Well, the way, the stage barely did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's, uh, no, I, I had, I looked at a picture this weekend from like 2019 of me and it's, it's pretty wild. I mean, I was like, it's big. That was the last time I drank. For you, it's like a few months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know it's been a few months. Yes. But I mean, you see this 2019 one, I don't know if we could find it, but it's, uh, Veeder had it maybe on his Facebook page. Oh yeah. Oh, can you just Google 2019? Yeah, we should be able to find, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it's like some of them, yeah, like if they're real good images, you know, I mean, you can tell that's not good. But I don't know if that's 2019. Uh, it's, yeah, it would be, it'd be tough to find. And then, you know, I'm that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right, uh, it was like a, it was like one after a show with me and Gary. Uh huh. It was, yeah, it's pretty crazy. Uh, TB Tom Brady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron's the perfect example of an indoctrinated millennial spouting the approved narrative pedantically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In stark contrast to the free thinking, uneducated, dusty, who has his eyes open and is a lot smarter than anyone at that table, real Liz's. You got it all right up to that last one. Did I get pedantically right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this guy gets it. TB gets it. I'm an indoctrinated millennial. Sounds like Tom Brady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds like you're, to me it sounds like you're, all you talk about is pedantically. Whatever that means, you're like, I'm gonna tell you something, this pedantically is you guys gotta try it, and we're like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where do you keep it? Where do you keep it at? We keep it in the pedantry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, well I didn't know what that meant, but I got the idea of it all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I liked it. I got narrow concern for academic knowledge and formal rules. Being like, I've been told this by people that I paid to tell me this. And this is the way it's done and you're stupid for not, for asking a question. Yeah, that's it. Pedantically. That's perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Josh Oakley. Hmm, Oakley family. Yeah. A few months ago, I saw Brian walking into church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought about introducing myself, but I chose not to because I didn't want to invade his church experience by bringing his work into the discussion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt that like this was a different scenario than running into one of you at a restaurant or on the golf course. How would you prefer those of us that are fans of your comedy but also share a community setting like a church or social organization interact with you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Josh here's a fan. Josh, I wouldn't go up to Bates if you don't want to talk to him more than this one time. So that's really, that's really, Josh, that's up to you. You really think about, you want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every week have Ron seek you out. Are you ready for a relationship? Are you ready for a relationship?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just throw it in there randomly. Happy birthday, Sarah Nistetter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huh? Hot flat, yeaah. No, I think yeaah, you can come up. I mean, I always say people, uh, I got recognized at the Wilson County Fair. That's a place of church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had someone come with me to church. I did have someone come with me to church. Now I know. And they did, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're going, I gotta, I gotta go a lot more. I gotta get back in it. I wanna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gave it to him, and he mailed me something. I was like, alright, take it easy, dude. You like my comedy, I get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I wanna, I gotta go. I gotta, we gotta, it's so hard to send, like we just, the schedule, it's hard to get into the rhythm of it. But I don't, yeah, I don't ever mind it. Someone comes up and they say, hey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's still nice. You're like, oh yeah, I appreciate it. I feel like if it's even a moment like where it's like that kind of like, if it's like, oh, you're, you know, if I'm with my daughter or if it's kind of a hectic moment or something like that, uh, or whatever it is, those are even nice. And someone's just like, yo, you know, big fan. And then you're like, oh, thanks. And you can kind of get back to what you're, if you're doing something.


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[Assistant] You should put a picture of your wife and your girlfriend so people know when and when not to come.


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[Assistant] I don't know, you would, I think you're pretty distinct.


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[Assistant] Watch your back. There's a lot of watch your back and you're like, oh. A lot of beep, beep. Moving through, moving through.


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[Assistant] On your left, on your left. Now I'm seeing you, I meant you're tall. Like you're tall and like so people just naturally are gonna...


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[Assistant] I feel like they look at you in the face more. How tall are you?


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[Assistant] I think you would get recognized too. You do? Yea.


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[Assistant] I, uh, Dusty, you're the obvious, like, you're not gonna miss it.


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[Assistant] Like mine would be a voiced, I can have that where they hear the voice and then they don't.


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[Assistant] But if I have a hat on, if I didn't wear, I didn't wear a hat at Wilson County Fair and it was.


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[Assistant] But if I, yea, if I have a hat on, but it's still, I mean, it's, you know. Yea, I can do no hat.


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[Assistant] I think what's helping you the most is where you're at in your career.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm joking, that came off me. It was right there though, I don't know.


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[Assistant] Well, Eleanor doesn't need to be here. I mean, come on. Let's let Alexa handle it.


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[Assistant] I get into it. You're into it as well. Kinda do. I could see having your phone out of the room.


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[Assistant] I mean, my alarm, I don't really need it unless, you know, I don't really set an alarm much.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I used to set it up a lot more than I did. Yeah. Now with the bus.


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[Assistant] You know, and now with travel means already you gotta usually fly a day early or something. So you don't, it's not like you have to go take a 6 AM flight always. Yeah. Uh.


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[Assistant] I have to set my alarm if I have to like be, I need to be going by.


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[Assistant] I didn't say it today, we started recording at 11.30 for the first podcast.


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[Assistant] I think you're, it's, it's, you're at a good age where you will sleep. I'm starting to hit the age where you're starting to, I'm going to start waking up. I'm not, you know.


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[Assistant] I don't sleep late, but I don't, I don't sleep to noon anymore. And I used to easily could sleep to noon. Yeah. Like without even thinking about it. Yeah. Yeah. I think you just said, yeah, I'm just at, I'm hitting the age where it's like, it's about to start flipping a little bit. I can start getting, I get more tired. Yeah. You know.


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[Assistant] Good though. It's probably good. Yeaah, I'd rather get up earlier. Uh, I need a better morning routine cause I'll get up and just look at my phone. And I like it cause I just lay in bed and look at my phone. But it's, I do like laying there. I need to put a book there or something. Yeaah. Yeaah, I'm never gonna eat that.


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[Assistant] I'm Becky. I went to a work Christmas party with a guy I was dating at the time. He left me to get drinks, and one of his coworkers asked what I did for a living. I knew I'd never see her again, and I totally lied and said I was a pediatrician.


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[Assistant] She asked where I went to medical school and I said Duke. She then proceeded to tell me she was looking for a pediatrician for her daughter and I immediately said my office is not taking new patients at a time and place. Politely excused myself and walked away. That's pretty great.


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[Assistant] I think you could, yeaah. I would almost say you could go, I'm lying to you about all this.


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[Assistant] Like, if you just tell her that. Yeah, you're like, nah, I'm just kidding, I work at Captain D's. You're like, yeah, I don't, I'm not a pediatrician. I honestly just said it because I thought, I just felt like in the moment to try something crazy. And it's crazy that you needed my services.


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[Assistant] Or you commit to it and you go out and do house visits.


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[Assistant] Yeah. If the kid's in good shape, you don't gotta do that much. You just rub the pencil on the bottom of their foot or something with an eraser. You just, they do that. Hit the knee.


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[Assistant] I've had that done to me. Yeah, I have, but not a baby. Oh, I think you do it to kids. No, babies don't have knees.


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[Assistant] Just look at the, look it up to see. Do babies have knees? Do babies have knees? When do knees overtake the government of the body? Well, I got no answer.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so they don't, but then it becomes that.


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[Assistant] I mistakenly locked ourselves out of our house. We had to call locksmith and he looks at our door and says it's going to be $150.


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[Assistant] I don't have an option, so I tell him to go for it. 45 seconds later, the door is open. While I'm paying the guy, he spends his phone around and there are options for 15, 20, 25% tip. I just paid $150 for less than a minute of work and now he's asking for a tip. But he can break into my house in seconds, so he got a tip.


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[Assistant] So the thing that you're paying for there, even though it does take a minute, it's the, you're paying for not the nine hours.


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[Assistant] So it might take him a minute, but you're paying for, if you don't do it, then it's nine hours. So you're, you're paying for, I would imagine you're paying for the, you know, it's like,


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[Assistant] You're glad, everybody's happy it takes a minute. That guy is, you are, all that stuff. This guy's got good enough to have it take a minute. All that stuff. You want it to take a minute, you know. So sometimes you gotta realize like, why, what am I paying? I'm paying for this not to take over my life. Like you would pay if someone's like, all right, I'll do it for free, but it's going to take one hour.


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[Assistant] Or two hours. Two hours. I'll do it for free for two hours. You give me 150 bucks, I'll do it in one minute.


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[Assistant] You're probably going to go, I'll pay the 150 bucks. Yeah. Well, what about the tip though? I say no tip. So the tip thing is the thing that's confusing with jobs like this, you want to go,


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[Assistant] What is the hundred fifty four is it not going to you like is it you're not a company or you're it's you know if the money's.


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[Assistant] You know, the money's going to you, that's like, isn't like women's hair salons, like you don't tip the owner of the salon or something? I think that's the way they do it. Cause it's like the owner. But then you would tip the other people, cause it's like the owner would get technically the entire amount of money.


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[Assistant] So if someone has a company and you're, so if this person's like,


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[Assistant] Now if he's a, works for a company, I guess you could do it. Uh, you could tip him, you know.


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[Assistant] But it is like, if he's his own company, you're like, well, I'm giving you $150. Like he's like, just charge it. How much does it cost? $150. Okay. Here's 150 bucks. Thanks. That's like any work that you do when you, you know, you want to be like, all right, you did siding on my house. I pay, what is it? Give me the price. I'm not averaging. No one knows how to tip for that.


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[Assistant] Like that's like, you know, that's the problem too is sometimes tipping. A, that it's 15, 20, 25 now is crazy. But sometimes the tipping, you want to go like...


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[Assistant] You tip the plumber and you're like, I don't, no one knows how to tip a plumber.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but that's going, that's gone away. I, I, I, most will take a tip now. Cause I, and I think being tipped is happening so much. I know, I think it used to be like that, but I do think now.


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[Assistant] It's kind of, it's much more rare when I see someone, because I've been in situations where I have tipped and they're like, no, no, no, no, no, come on. And then they just take it.


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[Assistant] But I don't do that in a bad way. Sometimes I'm doing it because I know they know me or something or I know, like, it's like, sometimes you just got called in like, you know, it's like, I'm just, I want to do it. I want to like, this person really helped us and we did this. But like the person with a plumber or like with this kind of thing, you're like,


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[Assistant] What's the price dude? Like I don't, I don't, what am I supposed to be? Uh, what is 10%? 15 bucks. 15 bucks? Like, so.


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[Assistant] It's like kinda, you're like, you don't tip, that's like a restaurant. That's what tipping is, is like restaurants. I would imagine you should go, if there is gonna be tipping in all this other world, it should be like, maybe it's 10% or something.


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[Assistant] The idea of it would be to, uh, pay cash.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well to pay cash, but also to be just brave enough to go, I'm not, I'll pay the 150 bucks. Or you can almost, I mean like I always think of it, some of you be like,


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[Assistant] I'm not scared, I'm not saying I'm not, I won't pay for the services, but I'm not doing this game afterwards. But I don't know what is going to make you happy. You have 25% on there. So if I go 15% on locksmith, which I don't know if it's 15%, and if I put 15, you're going to be like, you know, is there still some like,


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[Assistant] Yeah. And I understand that that is, it's, it's, uh, and you hope that the guy's not going to, but.


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[Assistant] That took me a minute with you looking. Imagine if I don't look. If you're asleep at night, I'll quite quick kinda do it. Yeah. Uh, yeah. We need a conversation about tipping. Kim Souza.


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[Assistant] On one episode a while back, Nate made a point to say that people who quit drinking sometimes worry they won't be as fun. And he said that could not be less true. I am 95 days sober.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Congratulations. Alright. And that meant so, so much to hear. I am loving life with that alcohol and it's so reassuring to hear that people on the outside think we non-drinkers are still a good time.