[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not even close. Look at the streaks as long as number one. Like, it's not even remotely close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then his second place is him is 264. So he basically lost it and then he did it again for the same amount of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, click that. I don't know if they even ranked it. Oh boy. Oh, it made you go to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's funny, maybe they didn't really do it when Jack Nicholas was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so it's pretty funny, like, so he has 60. It's basically like he was like 281. Now he started in 99.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then what's his 60s? 2013. Oh, so he got back up. Oh wow. So then he, oh, ends in 04.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nine months later, he gets it back and then loses it again, then gets it for another year and a half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the best. It was, nothing was funner, but they were breaking in on every channel and just being like, so you're saying we're so, so up to bat. It was just, you need something like that. That's, that's what I think is almost what's bad with uh, TV now is that kind of stuff is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I was already brought out. I was already done with college. I forget, uh, I forget where I was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been doing the drunk driving simulator. Wanna tell you that job? No, no. Maybe that's for another song. Uh, no, I don't. They're, uh. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was, we drove, uh, uh, did this drunk driving simulator where you would take a neon car and type in drunk driving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you would, and you would, it would drive slow. And I believe I was doing that during this time. In neon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you would, you would take it and, uh, is that right there? That under the white car? Right here? Yep. And so we would go, uh, that's actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody in the back seat. Uh, see, I mean, and so you would, you would take that to schools. You took that to school? Yep. With, uh, this other couple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you would be in the passenger seat, so I'm, I mean, I'm, and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, there was a break over there for me cause they would drive to, and it would like be delayed turn, like you turn, turn and it would turn late. If they pressed the brake, it wouldn't stop. It'd be a delayed stop. And there'd be like, all right, stop and don't hit this kid sign. I mean, I was 19 or 20 and I'm like with all these like high school kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that when Y2K was? Uh, I was born in 79. Yeah. So like I was, yeah, I think I was 20. So I was, I might've been somewhere like during that, during Y2K. And then someone stole the car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I, I can't remember. I feel like you could drive it. It would drive normal. Uh, cause you had a computer and you would like type in like, so someone would get in the car and you go like, how old are you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, how much do you weigh? I think you asked how much do they weigh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, you put like how many drinks they had or like their alcohol level, like, so depending on what the level was, was how hard the thing would turn. That's so crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, we did it. We did it. Like we did this podcast. Nineties. That's it, right? That's it. That's it. We did it. We'll see you next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it? When you slap him in the face, like, straighten up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's been talk about just skipping him. I should. Going to William.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it has to be. I think this comes from the song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did the wall come down? About that same time. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were telling me when you flew from LA to Miami, it was, the plane was crazy. It had swivel seats and all kinds of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The diehards were frustrated with us because they were like, you guys are idiots. We knew nothing. Yeah, compared to the real wrestling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, he does, he does. And I just realized I left off that person's name, so I apologize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people are still saying you're talking about State Street in Bristol. You can step on it and be in Virginia and Tennessee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we talk about Andrew Jackson throwing parties. Somebody said that the parties would get so wild because he just invited all his friends. They would have to take all the alcohol outside just to lure the people out of the White House because they can't get them to leave. Yeah, it's because of the booze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, right. You get ET to come out and make some pieces. It's been so long since I've seen that movie, I can't remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got, the last thing, the fact we had was about Reagan, but I mean, we had enough guys dying that we don't have to cover just the flesh wounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I still wouldn't have thought that was it, but I see how it looked like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would it be more like when you're building it, when does it become a table?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Michael's taking CPR lessons. And she's like, is he dummy breathing? And he's like, no, it also has no arms and no legs. It's like, at what point do we not revise?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what? I was going to say, I looked up the baby Ruth had been dead for 17 years when the candy bar came out. So they probably had a- She died as a baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I don't know if she died as a baby. She must have died young, but she'd been dead for a while. She named it after Aunt Baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did not remember Bush having an assassination attempt. I was sitting next to my wife who worked in the Bush administration. She didn't remember it, but we looked it up. Someone threw a, uh, a grenade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And him and the, uh, they were in the country of Georgia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It probably was, I was just verifying if it was true. I have to do a lot of research guys, I don't have time to get in the weeds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh. That's a clear example, I think, of a movie they never thought they'd be making sequels to. Yeah. And then it did so well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I still have them all. Oh yeah? You ever gone back and? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I look, I went back recently, uhm, I did not buy this when he played.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bought this at an auction, uh, it was just a box for cheap and I went through them. It was a Roger Maris rookie card. Oh, nice. And, um, I mean, it's not worth like a ton, ton, but you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's depending on how you talk to a few hundred dollars. Is it in pretty good conditions? It's not in mint condition, but it's in good condition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was my go-to thing though, when we would be the checkout line with my mom, pack a Tops baseball card. I'd get that over candy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they still sold them, I'd still do it at the checkout line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't a big, I've never been a big roller coaster guy. I was always too scared of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, growing up, we, uh, the only place we'd ever go was Opryland. Did you ever make it to Opryland?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it closed in 97, so you're, you've been young.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they had a ride, uh, this is one of the old rides there, the Wabash Cannonball. Do you remember that Nate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me and my sister and my cousin, and I was probably about 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was eight, which at that age, that's a huge difference because the 10 year olds was to be so much ahead of that year. And my sister who's five years older than me wanted to ride it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was scared to do it. I couldn't do it. And my eight-year-old cousin was willing to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was such a pride versus fear moment for me because I'm two years older than him. I should be the big, brave guy and I just couldn't do it. I just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I chickened out. I did later, but not that particular day. I just fear one out and they went and wrote it and got off and loved it, but I was just too scared to do it. Just the going upside down part just was too much for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's where the mall is now. You know, I read a little bit about it, why they did it. And, uh, I mean, I never read a good reason. One, it said when Dollywood came in, it took away a lot of people from that, this part of the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Six Flags opened, I think in St. Louis or something like that. So regionally, when it first opened, operating land was the only theme park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even close, and then they took some people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The real estate, it's, it's in between the Cumberland River and Brawley Parkway. So they couldn't really expand that much. They expand as far as they could go. And, uh, I think they just finally decided to bail on it. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would do that. I mean, a little bit, maybe not when I was a kid, but when I got a little bit older, I remember you'd be there someday hot days. You love getting splashed. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I looked up the top travel and leisure, just did the best theme parks in the country. They're all the ones you would expect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, is our, is uh, Disney World and Universal, are they connected?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, I think they're friends. They're good, they're close. Well, uh, I mean, this seven of the top eight theme parks in the country are either Universal or a Disney. Yeah, I think Universal's like Nick


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, just a few of the top ones. Thetis and Magic Kingdom number one, which I have been to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thought I had it on here, but now I don't see it. It's got the new Velocicoaster scheduled open next month in a Harry Potter theme. It's in Orlando. Oh, Orlando. Okay. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This third, I thought I had the location on here, but, uh, it's got the world of avatar and avatars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mentioned the Disney princesses. I was reading a site that, this is like on Reddit where,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Disney employees share, you know, personal stories and stuff. And they said, if you're playing one of the nineties print Disney princess characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't be surprised if newer cast members don't want to sit with you. So they have a break room there. They say it's like high school cafeteria. And if you're Elsa or Anna, you do sit on one side and you don't even make eye contact with the old characters, uh, Mary Poppins and Snow White.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, they're, Mary Poppiston and Wes are old people now, they don't want to, and they're not cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, but I guess do kids think Snow White? Does she rather like Snow White? Yea, yea, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a lot of crazy thing parks that, you know, there's a lot of Bible based, I'm not saying that's crazy, but, uh, just unique different theme parks. Dollywood obviously has one. If there was a Nate land.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Team part. I think you'd go to McDonald's and your burger's already got a bite out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We already got a head start on it. Got a head start. Could be where Arpeyland is. Bulldoze, Arpey Mills, out there. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta leave all your, yeaah. Leave everything. You get up there, there's baby scepter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was the only one on this, the, I said seven out of the top eight were either Universal or Disney. She was the only one. Dollywood was number six.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I read three. Well, usually I feel like get bored with when I start listening to these things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Universal Studios Florida is number four. Yeah. Let's get the Simpsons and Harry Potter. Yeah. Universal Studios.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Uh, number five, Universal Studios Hollywood. I mean, Dollywood six, Disneyland in Anaheim seven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was just kind of like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like lifestyle revolution, the famous, you just drive through and see where Conway twiddies all this stuff was. No rides. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I looked it up. Okay. Because I wasn't sure either. Silver Dollar City in Branson, summer nine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really didn't think you'd want to hear more than a couple, so that's why I started at the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What next week? The Avengers, uh, campus opens. It's like a new section there. It's supposed to be really big. Wow. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. It's not. Cedar Point's number 24. Cedar Point's got the highest roller coasters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put roller coasters back on the map. I guess roller coasters were big back in the 30s and 40s. Then they kinda went away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, in the 70s, an episode of the Brady Bunch, they went to Kings Island.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, has set all kinds of record, Guinness World Records for roller coasters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They finally hired him as the public relations manager at Kings Island. That's a good move. He's, uh, rode the racer over 12,000 times. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Major League Baseball went on strike in 81, so he just started riding roller coasters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he set the single day record, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With 97 rides in one day. And then he broke his own record with 111 rides. And now it's currently 112.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, uh, my buddy Jake Goledge, he, uh, I don't know if you guys ever met him. He's a big guy, probably 6'3", at least 350.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably nine adopted. So he doesn't have Jake's frame. He's a very, probably weighs 60 pounds. Maybe they have this water slide that you go down where you ride up. I don't know what, what some type of float or something. Yeah, go down and you, and then you go down in the water. They came down this slide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he has so much weight in the back, and this little son in the front. When they hit the water, it skipped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because Jake was way down the back, he skipped all the way across the water, out of the water, across the pavement, and crashed into a fence right next to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was a brand new water park and they'd probably never tested someone that size with someone in front of him that little. And he just, the velocity just caught it and it just, he skipped all the way across and left, left the premises.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They paid his medical bills for him. I mean, they freaked out. Was he that hurt? He was pretty banged up. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was his kid alright? His kid was fine. He said he kind of turned at the last minute to protect his kid from hitting the fence, but he took it head on. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of stuff that hap- I mean they have lifeguards and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another thing I read on the reddit was about Disney World. They let cats roam. Have you heard this during the night? Uh, feral cats, once they close up the park at night, roam all through it. For rats?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean at first they just were there and then they decided to keep them because they control the rat population.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they just sleep. They, people do say they see them some, but I think they usually just sleep during the day. Stay away from people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's been a lot of rides where people have been injured or something. One of the most famous was Fabio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he opened this new ride. So this was in, uh, I think Virginia and, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm losing it here, but, uh, it's called, Rod's called Apollo's Chariot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's got a Greek God theme. So Fabio, you know, he has the look, the hair and the muscles looks like a Greek God. So they brought him in this bush gardens with women dressed in white robes to be like his goddesses. And then you, and this is not even when it hasn't opened yet. This is the test. This is media day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, all the media's waiting at the end of the ride. And Fabio with all his beautiful women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I feel like, I feel like he was a little bit like Jose Kinseko. He was almost more of a joke than what he was, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think when the ball bounced off Jose Canseco's head, he was already considered like a dumb guy and like, it would just be. But they were the bash brothers. I mean, they were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. All right, man. That's a bad example. Maybe now though. I mean, Jose can say go now. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I just remember when the ball bounced off his head, one of the people were like, of course it'd be Jose Kinseko. And Fabio was a guy that everybody just kind of made fun of, I feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, have you done the Pirates of Caribbean ride? I don't know. That's in Disneyland? Yea, I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it a pirate ship? Well, some, I was just gonna say sometimes, especially if we're promoting a new movie, Johnny Depp will show up and play it, the character himself. Oh, I think I sent you a video of, that's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I mean, so he freezes like he's a, like he's like a mannequin or whatever. And then when they get close, they realize it's really him. Oh, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, uh, uh, the world's fair, we talked about that a little bit. They've had some crazy stuff up in the world's fair. The 1893 world's fair in Chicago, there was a serial killer on the loose and they just didn't tell anybody. Another ride on the Nate land.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy, yeaah, this guy killed a bunch of people in Chicago that year. They just kept it quiet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He took him to the murder castle. That's what they called it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two days before he closed, the mayor of Chicago got murdered, got assassinated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they ended the closing ceremony. They had all kinds of problems with this World's Fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all these things debuted at all these war- it's kinda like a consumer electronic


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the place he was taken to was the World's Fair Hotel, informally called the Murder Castle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mentioned last week, President McKinley, he was the one that had the thing, it was lapel and he gave it to a little girl and then he got shot. That was at a world's fair. Oh yeaah. Not the end of a world's fair in Buffalo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they have all these things like the telephone, the television, all this stuff displayed at a World's Fair. Like, it's kind of like where you see it before it comes to the public. At this World's Fair where McKinley was shot, the x-ray machine was on display.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And someone suggested that we use this to try to find the bullet. This is different than the springs from last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they just weren't up to speed on it. They're like, I just don't know. We don't know what kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they had to use a pan to reflect sunlight onto the operating table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he died there. I think he died a few days later, but they had to remove the bullet right then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So at the 1982 World's Fair in Knoxville, a couple of things that came out. Cherry Coke. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Wow. What was the touchscreen back then? The iPhone. Well, it was the same thing where you could touch a screen and drag it. Yea, I know what it is, conceptually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think it was just some big, like, TV screen. Yeaah. And stuff moved. It was like medical equipment back then. Yeaah. Yeaah. Maybe. Uh, I guess Disney has a water park as well? And they, have you been to that? I don't know. They tell the, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They told all the employees in character, you have to stay in character, and the water goofy, they told, if you drown, start to drown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We cannot remove your costume because it will upset the children. So we cannot perform CPR on you until the lifeguards carry you away. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When was this? I mean, this is one of those Reddit confessions of Disneyland employees. Who knows if it's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's hilarious. Some people, one person thought Brian was Nate's dad and Kevin G says Bates is like your little brother. How does that make you feel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If Bill Gates is listening to this, the world is in trouble. That's all I have to say. What if he needs a break from being Bill Gates, from curing polio and stuff? Yeah, just need an escape. I mean, it's a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds like somebody you'd see in an open mic. It's always good to be reminded there are crazy people everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And if you're a normal person that comes to an open mic just to watch, like comics will be so appreciative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of you. It's like, oh man, we got a real, there are real people. There's real people. Yeah. We can treat it like a real show. It's not just inmates running the asylum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ran a show right across from Vanderbilt at the, uh, that beach bar. And there'd always be Vanderbilt kids. I would walk over, put them up last. So I'd have to stay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I get a milk? Nah, just kidding. I'll get a, something like that. She's going to tell that story to her friends for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little segment about it on the sports center.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you say we can call them the middle ages for now, but thousands of years ago, it won't make any sense to call them that in the future thousand years in the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, you can't start doing that. You can't start doing the math.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you get to a certain point where all you, everybody in your life has died. You're just like, all right, I'm about ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. The fact that they can lump in a thousand years together tells me there wasn't a lot going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My parents are Catholic. What would your Vatican be? Southern Baptist? Southern Baptist? I don't know. Cracker Barrel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They always got that weasel thing attached to a ball too, you know what I'm talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what I'm talking about, that weasel ball. You see that thing? That thing's always sitting there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it rolls around. It looks like there's a little thing attached to it. I'll get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do we think dragons are dinosaurs? No, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Komodo dragons. Ooh, that's a good one. That's technically a dinosaur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just tell an old man to try to jump and then it'll happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is just this king. This was just his thing, man. He just thought this was the funniest thing in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't whistle, so I'm out right away, but I, but I'd make up for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think maybe you jump off a table or something, get a little air time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think that was, I'm just wondering how long was he a gesture?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has a Wikipedia page. That's more than I got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love how you just brushed over flatulence, like that's a real job title.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got a list of notable flatulence. Yeah. So there's Mr. Methane contemporary flatulence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you gotta roll in the farders kind of the, he's like the car. And then will the farder Howard Stern show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was huge in the, you know, in the middle ages. And then Will the Farter brought it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He briefly retired in 2006, but restarted in mid 2007. I'm back at it. Just when they pulled me out, he got bored. He claims to be the only performing farther in the world. Hmm. Good for him. He worked on the railways before focusing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a little on the nose to use miniature horses to carry his body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joan of Arc was definitely real. I think maybe King Arthur. That's my sleeper pick. King Arthur, not based on a real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think they dispute it. Uh, you know, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause in the movie, William Wallace has a kid with the princess, and that would completely taint the bloodline of English kings. So Scotland claims that that's what happened, and then England's like, no, that never happened. So there's some dispute over what happened I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] William Wallace is real, he used to do. He was so much more violent in real life than he is in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He used to make, he used to scout people and make belts out of their, their skin. Yeah, he was brutal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of, I'm guessing a lot of these people that live back then, there's just very little joy in their lives because they just couldn't afford to, they just had to, they woke up and worked all day and then they went to bed. And then that's pretty much it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not putting any new in, just take some out. I feel like it's a little too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mean like now modern day barbers still have to use those poles. So you don't have to do all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Had you heard that I grew up and somebody told me, hey, your blood is actually blue?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until it hits air and it's red. And I believe that for a long time. Yeah. And it's not true. It's not true apparently. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because your veins look green and you think, oh, it's blue. Yeaah. So I think that's totally made up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well deodorant hadn't been invented yet. I think that's a, deodorant's a very recent invention. And it was like the solution to a problem that nobody thought was a problem. Everybody just smelled bad all the time and nobody cared. And then somebody was like, we can get rid of that. And now we all have to do it. We could all just agree to not wear


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm saying it's a, it's a solution to a problem that we created.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm saying we all agree. Yeah. I'm saying we could all agree. Then you'd be, you don't have to do it ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying as long as we live in this world where everybody has to wear deodorant, I'll play the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I looked it up just to make sure that it was a bunch of blood doctors in the comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, start taking out, COVID's not taking out animals, is it? I don't think so. That's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do they even have any concept of what a virus is back then? Probably not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did the people that survived, the 70% that survived, were the, do you think that they just had a genetic community to it or they just got lucky I guess?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not going to rebrand yourself. Yeah. Stereotype. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're just so much bigger you don't need to measure them. They're just like a different breed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could have all been on miniature horses and they wouldn't know. And then you give the nobles real horses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you did get caught. But if you did get caught. But if you did get caught, like yeaah, they weren't going to take it easy on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not like the middle ages. Like some highlights, some highs and lows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do they no longer serve salads or just his McDonald's? I don't know. I'll be honest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I took a comedy class, the very first class, he had us each get up on stage where we didn't know each other at all and have people write down what we thought this person, what they did, where they're from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just so you get an idea of what people think you are or who you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I asked your dad about this and he remembers this particular episode. There was more to it that they put in there, like he wore like a blue Walmart vest and all kinds of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I learned my lesson. Not so much gloom and doom. You, uh, I remember basically everything about the eighties. You weren't born. What, anything particularly we want to start with that you remember from the eighties?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'll start with some inventions that kind of became big in the 80s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start of the 80s with cameras, it was still the Kodak, the Polaroid, pop out. By the end, disposable cameras was the way to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I remember I was, uhm, I mean for shopping, I had a couple of wardrobe malfunctions in high school. For shopping,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm going to sell it, but I'm just setting you up. Okay. Do you know what goodies is? No. Do goodies still exist? Uh. Is it a candy bar?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To us, it was high end fashion in Lebanon. It was like the only store. So one Christmas, my mom and I went to Hickory Hollow Mall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 40 minute drive. Yeah, especially where we lived.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These Coca-Cola shirts were a big thing for a while in the 80s. Do you ever heard of this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was this shirt in the store that said Coca-Cola Casual Wear 1987. This was Christmas 86. And it was bright, and it was stood out, and I thought this is the coolest thing ever. So I asked my mom if I could have it. It was like $30. So she said, that's too expensive. But she knew how much I liked it, so, uh, put in Coca-Cola Casual Wear 1987.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, but then she surprised me for Christmas with it. So now I've got this shirt and that, that one right, the bright one, second row, second row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well I wore it, so I'm so excited. You should buy that shirt now. Versus, oh sorry. And I wore it to high school. First day after Christmas. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because everybody in Lebanon, again, you'd wear the same shirts because everybody shopped a goody. So everybody had the same new shirt. So I thought I'm going to be so cool. And I was a sophomore, there was a senior girl who had the same shirt and she was furious that this nerdy guy, she was really popular in high school and I'm walking down the hall and she's furious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's embarrassing for both of us to wear, because that shirt so stands out. Well, about two weeks later...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And here she comes walking down the hall and she's wearing her. And I could just hear her say to her friend, are you kidding me right now? She was so mad and so embarrassed and I never wore it again. Like, I was just like, I can't do it. I can't take the chance. Maybe after she graduated high school, but by then it was 88. Yeah. The shirt was old. Now you look dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was one. And then the other one, somehow I missed out that boy bands weren't cool if you're a guy. Cause new edition, they were a big thing, but that's the only boy. And then my senior, before my senior year of high school, right before we started back, me and my buddy went to the new kids on the block concert and we didn't realize that that's not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool for guys. Yeah. So I bought a t-shirt at Starwood Amphitheater to wear to school my first day of my senior year. And big statement. Well, people quickly let me know. It kind of brought it for a visual man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't go over well. Guys quickly let me know this, uh, that's not cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I was so proud. It took like third period of people just like, what are you doing, man? Before I realized this was a huge mistake and you had to wear it all day, all day. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I couldn't go home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was in my magazine and I was so excited that he came to our high school to play. He was like a celebrity that I went up to him and had him autograph my magazine. And his buddies were like teasing him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just ridiculous. Everywhere around, like he was embarrassed. I'm the only one not embarrassed at the time. Everybody else is like, what is going on here? And they just teased him about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, he played at Tennessee. His biggest claim is the hack-a-shack when Shaq couldn't hit a free throw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would put him in the game and, like, they got in a fight. I remember that. Fouled him pretty hard. A big fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, maybe now, but you couldn't find a picture of him in college?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a big deal for Vandy because we always had great outside shooters. So, you know, oh yeah, I totally remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you excited? No, I liked it. I liked it. The Vendee street got broken on my wedding day and we were at my wedding reception and Keith Alberstadt texted me furious about it. And like for a second, I was just so mad at my wedding reception, but then I moved on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. So it went from like, that streak went from like 87 or something to 2000. Last year? 19. Yeaah, start of 2020.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like the NBA maybe got in the late seventies and then college was like the mid eighties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My parents gave me my first cell phone and they said just keep in your glove box in case you ever break. Like I didn't even turn it on. I just put it in my glove box and it was an emergency if I broke down. What happens if it died?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I mean, I guess if you never turn it on, it's going to stay charged for, I don't think so. I don't think it's how electricity would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would just put it in there and if I had to reach somebody, then I'd turn it right back off and put it in my glove box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, personal computers, or came out in mid 80s, uh, and the Apple app, the first Mac came out in 84, which kind of revolutionized. You guessed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, CDs passed cassette tapes and sales in 1988. Oh, I thought that would have been later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The phone could only store 30 numbers. It took 10 hours to charge and it offered 30 minutes of talk time. $4,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Sony Walkman came out in the 80s. They were hoping to sell 5,000 units in the first month. They sold 30,000. It was a big hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, almost a fourth of mattresses sold in the 80s were water beds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know of like apartment complexes or condos. I think you either they're not allowed or you have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let them know, because if they break, it's gonna drain down every floor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this one's for you, Aaron. 1984, the first minivan. The Dodge Caravan and the Plymouth Voyager. What's yours?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I think so for sure. Like a 12 passenger van? Uh, yeah, it's just like, like Scooby-Doo-Hoo type van. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prince Charles, Lady Diana, over a billion people watched it. July 29th, 1981.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've taken his job. Uh, the Who Shot JR finale Dallas was up at that time, the most watched TV show in TV history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I remember all this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mom's watched it. This was, uh, early eighties and my mom watched all these shows. Dallas, Dynasty, Nots Landing. Did your dad watch them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, all the tabloids and just, they wouldn't tell the actors. I think they sh- filmed it in a way where only the person who shot him actually even knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it got to the point where people had speculated about everyone. So there's not going to be a surprise because they literally listed every, like his mom or, you know, so they're, so I don't think it was a huge surprise. Yeah. No wonder they felt the payoff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't, I feel like people would be much more hard on it now because we just know so much more now and we, I think it was kind of new and fresh, like, oh wow, can you believe, I think her name is Christina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I think it's, my cousin had basic cable and they could get WGN and TBS and watch Cubs and Braves game. I was so jealous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was in the 80s, but we didn't, I didn't have cable until I got to college. We did it out in the country and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't come there. We weren't paying for a satellite dish the size of our house. Was your roommate in college just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in 1983, the M.A.S.H. finale aired. And somehow people just knew this was going to, I mean, advertisers


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They knew it was gonna be a huge deal, so they started buying 30-second commercials for $450,000, which was more than the Super Bowl that year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the night it aired, a large area of California suffered a power outage due to a storm, which prevented many people from watching the series finale for three weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it had 106 million viewers. It passed Who Shot JR for the most viewed episode ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And from 1983 to 2010, it was still the most watched TV broadcast in American history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they tried a spinoff show called Aftermash, which showed them when they all got back to America and it just, it tanked quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, really dark. You were watching all that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I remember it, yea. Were you allowed to watch it or? I think so. I think, I didn't watch MASH.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's certainly words that were said back then that wouldn't be allowed now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like some of those Norman Lear shows from the 70s and 80s, I mean, they said stuff that, so many things we get canceled now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the top shows, uhm, of the 80s, Dallas dominated their first half of the 80s, and then the back half...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cosby show was number one for five straight years in the eighties. Last week I said, can you believe all in the family?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it happened the next decade too. Five straight years, number one show. Wow. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It all blends together. It all blends together. Uh, other TV shows that launched in the eighties, CNN, June 1st, 1980 became the first 24 hour cable news channel. Channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a whole new thing. Another new channel, MTV. Debut 1981. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The very first video was sung by the Bugles called Video Killed the Radio Star. That was the first video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think they did. I think they just played it ironically. I think they already had the song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he won an Oscar for glory in like 1990.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was on Saint Elsewhere. He was like one of the doctors on Saint Elsewhere. And then I think Glory is like his first big breakout role. It is a great movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. So it even counts. Yeah. All right. You guys want to guess the top movies of the eighties?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you were serious? Yeaah. I thought you were saying that cause Star Wars was the top movie that set me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you gotta at least, if you're even gonna guess that, name the name of the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My favorite movie as a kid was Raiders of the Lost Ark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was told, I don't know if this is true or not, but it was the first movie where, you know how now in basically every movie, especially action movie,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The main character, there's going to be an opening scene right out of the gate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before we even get into the main storyline. They're going to establish the character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do something crazy, and then it kind of starts the real story. Raiders of the Lost Ark, I was told it was the first movie that ever did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Up until then, movies would just be a slow build. But in Razor of the Lost Ark, the first 10-15 minutes are that crazy scene in the cave where he does all that. That has nothing to do with the rest of the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He establishes who the character is, and then you start the main story that, that you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They may have put it on hold because of COVID, but there was one that was either about to come out or came out. I can't remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Determined for them when people are tired of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, top box office stars of the 80s. Number one, Harrison Ford.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Eddie Murphy was second. That's been interesting. 48 Hours, Beverly Hills Cop. All those movies. Would that be different? His movies feel different. There was more than one Beverly Hills Cop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in music, Michael Jackson released Thriller in 1982. I remember this so well. It became the best selling, uh, album of all time. Last week I said the Eagles, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, eagles. Greatest hits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it is in America, but Thriller is still the best selling album worldwide of all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember watching that. It was scary. You're talking about the video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, nobody had ever done, nobody had ever done anything like that. I mean, it was like 15 minute long video. It was a story, scary. Yeah. Zombies and. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Uh, best selling artist of the eighties was Prince.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, somebody said the comment on that, one of the comments. We've been talking about people a lot today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, well, in the 80s he was so huge. Uh, number one song of the decade was Olivia Newton-John's Physical. Did your mom do jazzercise to that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at who all played at Madison. I mean over half of those are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good job, Julian. Yeah, good job, Julian. Uh, some of the styles of the 80s. Acid wash and stone wash jeans. Leg warmers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Socks without the feet. That's what they look like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean we would get a service merchandise, you know, again, let's flip the toys for, I mean Sears was a big


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard his watches. Yeah. The watch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Coca-Cola, sure already mentioned. What is this watch? It's just another type of watch. It's like a Swiss watch. What's different about it? Uh, just different name. Yeah, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, some of the top commercials of the eighties, the Apple 1984 was supposedly the top commercial of all time. It only aired once in its entirety. Really? Apple?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's about this revolution that's coming. It was about the Macintosh computer. Yeah. And it was supposed to be like, we're breaking through society and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I think he left later. It's the most, this is the most famous commercial? Not, I don't know, it's not most famous, it's recognized as the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1984 was a book about big brother watching you. So they're basically saying Apple is going to free you. Yeah. So a couple more popular commercials.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a Wendy's commercial. They were mocking McDonald's and Burger King for having small patties and big buns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's my kind of burger. Yeah. I love it. And, uh, I mean, I remember this again so well. Coyote McLeod, local DJ wrote a song about it and it was just a big thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's so small, the patty's so small. Where Wendy's had a bigger beef patty. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're pretty good. Worldwide by 83? It's pretty good. A happy meal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can eat a hamburger, cheeseburger or small serving of chicken McNuggets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll talk about that on the 90s episode. New Coke. You remember when Coke changed its formula? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was New Coke and then they changed the formula and people freaked out, got mad about it. So then they had to go back into the old way and call it Coca-Cola Classic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I think Coca-Cola Classic, which is the way we have now, is the way it's always been, but for a while they tried New Coke, it was sweeter and people didn't like it. Did they have Clear Pepsi? Remember that? Clear Pepsi? I remember, I remember when they brought that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright. Oh, and here's the one thing I didn't know. McPizza? Do you remember this? McDonald's pizza? For a while there was a McPizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I'll wrap up with, uh, sports. Alright. Alright. Associated Press, male athlete of the decade. Can you name it? Wayne Gretzky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He received 307 votes for athlete of the decade. Second was Joe Montana, who had 85 votes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just other people who will receive votes. Magic Johnson, Carl Lewis, Nolan Ryan, Larry Bird, Bo Jackson, and Walter Payton. 49ers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. 49ers won four Super Bowls in the 80s. Wow. Uh, Smuggler memorable plays the 80s or moments. Miracle on Ice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great movie. Yep. You see that? Yeah. I don't know. I don't think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's Joe Buck. That's the radio broadcasts. Okay. Vince Gulley was doing the TV broadcast. Yeah. So it's weird cause.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember Tipper Gore wanting to get explicit lyrics, like a label put on for rap and stuff like that. That was a big deal. I remember that. Uh, no, this one I don't remember. Scott Hoke? I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scott Hoke could have won the 1989 Masters, but he missed a two foot putt in the playoff and he lost to Nick Waldo. And I watched it, he didn't even go, I mean, he pushed it bad. It was the worst choke job, I guess, in golf history, they said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was working for the system. Do you know how many times 12,000 is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a lot of times. He, uh, was working for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You might be getting back to it. Maybe. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a fun, fun thing. You've never seen bumper boats? Not right off hand, no. Dude, I mean, I've seen. I mean, maybe I have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. We thought it was special, dude. If you, for you, well, it is special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a fan of the office to get a comment from BJ Novak, that would be awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His, uh, grandfather and my great grandmother were brother and sisters, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, she's totally right. We've been binging threes company lately and really we love Larry company. And so I think I did get in my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand how they could mistake a piece of metal or a rock from outer space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he has a six year old son and he wants to teach him that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, work's important and create a work ethic. So if he hears his dad complain about work, then maybe he won't want to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're probably not branching out enough different types of jokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right after you finished America's Got Talent, now the younger comets or comics are following you around and you're kind of the vet going from spot to spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have no act outs, but yet you can cry on cue. You can be the best actor, comedian ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a hassle. Did you ever hear when that story came out about from the real Sports Illustrated kid? Did he ever reach out to you and say, you ruined my life?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the kid that was still trying to get in it when you left, that was a real kid, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't even know until I did research on this that con man, con is just short for confidence man. Cause that's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you were being sarcastic. Oh really? Nah, I have no idea. Yeah, that's short for confidence man. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, most famous con man, Charles Ponzi. I mean with a name like that. Yea, he started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think once the financial crisis of 2008 happened, it just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody wanted their money. Everybody wanted their money and he couldn't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he wasn't getting new investors at that time and he just ran out of money and so everybody found out about it. Uhm, Frank Agnell Jr. That's a popular one, catch me if you can. He was a pilot, a lawyer, a doctor, faked his way through all that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So 76 miles an hour, which from the pitcher's man in little league, that'd be equivalent to 102 miles per hour. So he was throwing heat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And through a perfect game, Little League World Series, he claimed he was 12, then people started investigating, found out he was actually 14, and they had to forge all their games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's another funny, James Hogue. He, this is what you may have done if comedy hadn't worked out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Under a different name. He was 25. He would pretend to be a 16 year old orphan from Nevada. He started running cross country and was dominating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he got so far ahead, failed, he won the race, but he never would report the official score table, which aroused suspicion. And they started doing investigation, sports reporter dubbed him the mystery boy. They finally figured out that he was fake. So then he just left town, got out of town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then he, uh, enrolled at Princeton University.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then finally a student from that high school, Palo Alto High School, recognized him on campus and called the same reporter who did the first story and the guy exposed him again. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he got, when was this? This was in the early 90s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's this guy in Senegal who wanted to play professional soccer, so he got his buddy to call the owner of the Southampton team. Where's Southampton? You know that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you guys, have you seen the movie, Uhm, I Love You, Philip Morris?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he, and so they took him to the hospital and then once he got there, they were guarding him. But he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this guy Richard Minsky would cold call women and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would whisper so low that they couldn't hear him, and then finally they'd be like, Tommy? Is that you? And he's like, and they'd be like, now he's got a name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a case here in Nashville, a guy, they called him Fantasy Man, and he would just call women out of the phone book, the good old days when we had phone books, and he would pretend like he was her boyfriend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he would say, let's do this fantasy, meet me at this hotel and wear a blindfold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was hooking up with chicks because they thought it was his boyfriend and then eventually got caught and got charged with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess rape, but his argument was they left the door open. It was consensual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, David Hampton convinced New Yorkers that he was the son of Sidney Poitnier and got a lot of benefits getting clubs and stuff like that. Uh, Will Smith played him in the movie Six Degrees of Separation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's not what six degrees of separation means. Six degrees means we're all. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were calling her the new, uh, Steve jobs. They thought she was the new darling star, but it was all fake. She fake test results, all this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't go anywhere. She's married now and her trial was just delayed cause she's due to, uh, she's pregnant. She's due in July. So they just pushed her. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was counterfeit of course. One of them was real, but then the second one that would come out back would, and people bought it for $10,000. This box that just makes money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So his whole scam was, I don't even want the real thing. That just brings heat to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just you steal it for me and then I'll steal these six fake ones and people will believe it's real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they finally found it. The guy who stole it from them, they found it on him, but the guy who talked him into doing it, they never found that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You always heard those cases of GoFundMe is where people would just say, Hey guys, I just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a lot of psychics on here, a lot of televangelists, but to me, that's not a scam per se.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think those people believe it's worth it to them. It's not like they're lying to you. That's just maybe not the best investment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the psychic, yes. Sylvia Brown was on here. She was the most famous psychic that would go in my tail and do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Golf scammer. He would, a golf hustler. He once bet a guy could drive a golf ball 500 yards using a hickory chef club. And the guy took him on the bet. And then he waited until winter and drove the ball on a frozen lake. It's kind of like 10 cup. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but he would do this hustle game where he did pool everything and he started hanging out with professional golfers. He made $30,000 a year hustling back in the 1930s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he would also these country club guys and he would, he would beat them right handed. And then he's like, all right, I tell you what, you want to do double or nothing. I'll play this round left handed and he would beat them again. Cause he's really a left handed golfer. He just wouldn't tell him that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he was the top golfer, but he also did pull. He did stuff with Minnesota fats. Ben Hogan called him the greatest shot maker ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up everybody, or hello folks. I started saying what's up everybody. Hello folks, welcome to NateLand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, sitting here today, I'm Nate, Aaron, Brian, as usual. Big shout out today to Helix Sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Find your perfect mattress at helixsleep.com slash Nate. That's helixsleep.com slash Nate. Happy new year. This is the first episode of the rest of our lives. 2021.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did it, uh, everybody's glad that we're done with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2020, people seem to be, and we made it. We're doing the new, the new year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we, uh, no, we went in eight and then that was it. So, uh, came back and did, we did the, uh, Eastern time zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, you know, my time that gets from the satellite, that's precisely perfect. There's a whole hour behind. Must be something, something's up with it. You know, technology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Harper is, Harper's like me. She just, Harper just doesn't nod off. She doesn't, she's not a, like Laura will, we watch a movie, we can't start a movie past nine or Laura will never make it. Uh, Harper will stay up. And so I, we always tell her she can try to stay up as late as she wants. I think Harper could stay up 24 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I would like to try that one day. Uh, but we made her go to sleep. I mean, she gets a, obviously she's tired. She gets delirious and like, you know, it's like kids, they get, they, it's pretty funny. They, they, you see like kids get drunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they're just so tired and they're just being silly and they're very funny and they just, and when you try to make them go to bed, it's like a meltdown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and so we made it that night. She went to bed, you know, it was around midnight, I guess, 1130 midnight. And then she's, you know, never going to get to stay up ever late again. And you said, you promised me one night. And I was like, all right, we'll stay up one night. I was like, we're doing, we were having a big day the next day with my family. So I was like, we can't do it tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the next night we stayed, they ended up staying up till two. So I was like, this is your night. Wow. Like this is it. This is the dinner, like in the Seinfeld soup. This is the meal. This is the meal. All right. We're doing it. Uh, so we got it, but it was good. It was a, it was a fun, you know, we did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have fun, you know, 2021 feels, feels like the same. Uh, so we're going to, we'll start off as usual. First comments of the new year. These are from YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, Apple podcast reviews, and you can always email naitland at natebargetzi.com. First up, Laurie Crawford, Laurie Crawford or Laurie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to let you guys know how great you are. Sadly, extremely sad, my son succumbed to his


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not, this is like a sad one, I'm already messing up. Succumbed? Uh huh. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So come to his PTSD struggle last week before Christmas and needless to say as his mother, I was beyond devastated. I had not smiled or laughed or felt any happiness in days. Then I had to go somewhere one day when I got in my car to drive, your podcast came on and it made me smile, even laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so grateful at that moment for you and what you do. So thank you so much. Keep it up. I'm going to need you a lot in the future. Wow. Well, thank you, Laurie. That's, uh, super nice. Uh, we'll keep your son in our thoughts and prayers and, uh, yeah, that's tough, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] David Banner, thanks to you kind folks, I have a connection with my son who is on the autism spectrum. I drive him to a special school that has a 30 minute commute each way. For a long time we just drove in silence because he doesn't want to talk or listen to music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'd love to now, I might want to ride with your son. Talk, listen to music for 30 minutes. I'll take him to school. Uh, I love the Netflix special for the unbelievable level of comedy and the clean humor. I turned on your podcast one morning. I expected him to protest. He didn't say anything for about 10 minutes and then he started laughing at everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We love the banter, the teasing back and forth and the sarcasm. Sarcasm is a rare thing for a person with autism to fully grasp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he loves it all. Now we listen every day and talk about the stuff that you guys are stumbling through. I can't thank you enough for giving us this opportunity to share. Well, thank you, David.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. Yeah, that's very cool. Thanks for your son too. I'm glad he, uh, loves it. And yeah, I'll ride with him. 30 minutes, no talking, no music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm on board and listen once I just listen to talk radio. I mean, what is the greatest car ride of all time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate thinks a pronoun is a noun that gets paid to be in a sentence. This is next level brilliant and easily bracelets shining moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Wow. Bracelet. Bracelet's a good, it's a funny word. Bracelet's a funny word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, look at that. At least he got it, huh? You wrote that, but John Bricotta is your fake name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeff Fox, the fact that a man who thinks we can use, et cetera, in places of numbers is wildly successful is all the proof we need that this is the best time to be alive. That is the fact that a man who thinks we can use, et cetera, in place of numbers is wildly successful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just keep them rolling, dude. And the fact that I am successful is, is, it is proof. That's what I mean. I think there's a lot of dumb people doing a lot of big things right now. More than ever. You think cavemen, you couldn't have had just a dumb, they died immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean the dumb ones, I mean some of them would survive out of pure just luck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, luck and like they're not scared, they're not scared of anything so they're fighting animals. Like they just go into it and find a lion and they're like, whatever man, you know, you need some of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But nowadays, I mean, yeah, that's, I mean, I think that's our main problem. We got too many dumb people that have too many big platforms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Christopher Stanley. Nate tries to hum a few bars of Downtown by Petula Clark to see if he can get Aaron to recognize it. Aaron begins singing lyrics from Fallout Boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I almost choked to death taking sip of water as that happened. Aaron wins millennial of the year. I'll take it, man. Congrats. That's a title, dude. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Or the best of the best. Depends. Depends on who you're talking to. We're doing good stuff. I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think millennials do a lot of good stuff. They do a lot of crazy stuff too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, like, well, that was a reference to downtown. I think we, you know, sometimes we make these Seinfeld references. They're so quick and they're as if we're just sitting in the room alone when we say it. And it's like, yeah. And so, yeah, we don't, it's not as always pointed out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pete Leaners. Lean Hears. L-E-E-N-H-E-E-R-S. Lean Hears. Lenairs. Maybe Lenairs. Pete Lenairs. What do you think he says?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think that's what you- there's no way. You said lenears? Lenears. Sounds. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if I'm interviewing- It's an odd way to spell it. Well, if I'm interviewing a guy and he comes in, I go, what's your name? He goes, my name's Pete. Lean Hears. You're going, well, Pete, why don't you walk on back out of here? You think I'm going to pronounce that name like that? Lean Hears. He goes, Pete Lenears. That's what he says. Lenears. And you go, all right, Pete, I'll talk to you. That's fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The odds of him winning an Emmy with two of four nominations assuming random selection is in fact 83%, not 50 or 75.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had a 17% chance of not winning an Emmy. That's a great, that's exactly right. 83 is still a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that, that almost like someone did that on purpose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone headed out for him. I would, I would believe that someone headed out for him. I mean, how do you not, you know, how do you not, how do you not have it out for him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the, is this clock counting down? We got a new clock in. It's going up. 10 minutes, 52 seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I get it now. Man, that confuses me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we got a new clock to go that 11. One of the, one of the things is in blue. Can you show it? Can you see it? Uh, and so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm seeing the other thing and I'm like, what is happening? And it was a quick, I didn't figure it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, alright, we figured it out now. Now we got it. We got what it is. Uh, is everything calmed down?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is time? Or is it? Is it? Is there some people that don't believe it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like did we make it up? Does it even matter what it is? Yeaah. I mean the sun sets and stuff, so you're going to say what time, how long is the sun up? So wouldn't it just be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's still time, whether it's a number or not, right? Right. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Delvin said, no guys, it's much boringer than time. Uh, yeah, you wish we were going to get into time. And that's what is going to happen when you get done with this podcast is it goes, why don't y'all do time? Good night. How long was that? That podcast took a lot of time. Uh, Zachary Zern, ZZ Zachary Zern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sewer systems and access to clean water greatly increased around 1900. Infection and disease decreased


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dramatically, as soon as we were able to efficiently get rid of sewage. Next time you flush, remember how good you have it, folks. This toilet is the most underrated invention of all time. The toilet is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty true. Something you don't think about everybody says slice of bread. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you go, let's just say slice of bread. That's a little bit, you know, it's a little, we can keep, we can roll with it. Everybody's like, oh, that's a good point. Yeah. And toilet seems, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go with AC. Because he doesn't just stop. He goes, what do you mean the toilet? He goes, you know, cause you're pooping it. And everybody's like, all right. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up. Hold on. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, AC, well the toilet though, I think I agree with him, the toilets, that's a world of problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all probably talk about it at your dinner table. Do y'all do that? Do y'all talk about it? They debate it. Y'all debate it and go, all right, Webbers. Yeah. What's the best invention that you've seen? And then you go, Ooh, Oh dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but I mean, if you could go with one or the other. Take the toilet. Yeah. So I mean, that's the air conditioning. You can, you can figure it out. You know, fall's coming. Get a fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just wait for the fall. Colder temperatures. It's gonna come. Just start walking north.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do opposite of the birds. That's what you do. You do opposite of the birds. Start heading north. You want to be in that good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so it wasn't Walmart that was invented, it was Tollix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think a little bit of both. I think a little Walmart and toilet had a lot to do with it. Someone went into Walmart and used the toilet because we can buy these for our house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I like to do. I like to back you down in a corner where you can't get out. And then you have to go, that's fair. Then I go, all right, the door's right there. The bed post goes, all right. And then next round, he rings the bell. Next round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laurie, Laurie Rinshaw, a couple lorries. Laurie Rinshaw, I hate to be this person, but as a pharmacist I have to clarify the aspirin situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually 325 milligrams per tablet. So just under a hundred tablets a day. I guess they kept the news of the truckloads of aspirin being delivered daily to the corner pharmacy out of the headlines too. Whoever had the patent was making a killing in more ways than once.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we were saying 150, so it's only a hundred, just under a hundred.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, it's, it's a meal. A hundred. Yeah. Do you eat breakfast? Yeah. Kind of. Did we already do that joke? Kind of. Might have done that. Uh, yeah. I mean, it's still a hundred and then, but it's not as bad. If you went to a town and they go, we do a hundred and the other town is 150, you'd go, I'm glad to be here. I still, I'm still not thrilled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you just went to this, you go a town over and they go, we do a hundred. We're not crazy. And you go, you're not, you're definitely not as crazy because they're doing 150 right over there. And you are at a hundred. But I mean, I think I still, y'all still need to calm it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always think aspirin, I always take it I never think it's this magical thing that I feel better. You don't, you don't feel it working? I don't think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'll take it, I guess, uh, maybe you have a severe headache. I don't think, I don't like to take stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've never been a big where I want to take a million things. I mean, I have to take some stuff and now I'm taking Zyrtec.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Supposed to, I don't take it all the time. Supposed to. Allergies. Just like allergies. I never had allergies, but I have them more than I ever have now. And, uh, I would, and so I took one today. You're supposed to take it every day. And, but I don't. And then, uh, but I, I'm not a big, not a big fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I try to take steps to sleep. That's my, that's the only thing that I do, but that's, that's, we've narrowed down to, I've narrowed down and it has to be, uh, Sour Patch Kids late at night. That's what I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you do Saturday, Sunday together or is the S's separate? It's separate. Separate S's. Yep. That's good. What, what age did you have to get it? Just recent?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's tough. That's not an age thing. I think everybody would probably have trouble remembering it. But so you just set them out every morning and then you just grow and take your two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a doctor just says that straight up your face. I always, when I get questions from doctors, they, I feel like I never know how to answer any other questions when they ask. I went and had a physical and you know, it's like I've had my shoulder hurt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And which I've been golfing an obnoxious amount and, uh, then I started working out a little bit. So I was like, ah, it's probably working out. I blame it on working out. By the way, I swing club, I swing a club every day. It's probably that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, they go and she was like, I bet you've had that the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a good, you know, we're talking about there, like it's, you get to an age where it's just like, yeah, you just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so, but I don't ever know how to tell them exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem. I would think doctors have a big problem with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they go describe what it is and you go, I don't know if I can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he's gonna go, I've heard this before. Whatever example, cause this is back to my point, like we're all, this is why jokes, and I'm kind of all over this, but this is why I think jokes work so much. When jokes can be relatable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when you write a joke, it's very relatable to a group of people because we're all the same. None of us are doing anything that's really different. We have the same kind of fights with our families and same kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a doctor can, you know, when you go describe a pain, the way you describe it, unless you're like a weirdo that describes it some weird way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, the doctor's probably heard that and then he's gonna know what it is. But you need him to have that experience to be like, I've looked at thousands of people and I've heard a thousand people be like, it's just like in my back of my tricep, you know, or something. And then they go, I get the idea of what it probably is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. And then you go in and he goes in, take this, this is for your face. That was a pill for your face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a facepill. That was a facepill. For sure. Yeah, absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well you wanna lead them down? Well, I guess you're worried they don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why you have a fear that they, you know, it's the way I look at it, it's why I don't trust anything, or I'm always skeptical of stuff. It's because everybody's still a person. So whenever


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Person, you know, that'd be like if people, when you have to take your clothes off to a doctor, it's hard for you to rationalize. Like you don't like just, you're like, you're not going to make fun of me when I leave the room or something. And you're like, well, I'm a doctor. I don't look at it that way. And you're like, but you're like, I don't know how to not, you're still a person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can't tell me that there's not, you don't go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well we do, you know, you don't bring it up and when you have your doctor party, sit next to a proctologist. You sit next to a proctologist at a party, you stay there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He went to green bay. Uh, well maybe someone will write in and be like, yeah, dude, you need to go back. You're going to lose that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might need to. It feels great now though. If anybody has a heavy diabetes, listen to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let us know if you go, I remember that day. If you're listening to what Aaron just said, you go, I remember that day. And it was 20 years before it all went down. Just give us a heads up. You know, Brian Keegan. Hello folks. I enjoyed watching the donut challenge episode very much. It reminded me of a challenge we did with a guy at work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We dared him to eat one of everything from the company vending machine. Machine had small packages of chips, cookies, candy bars, et cetera, et cetera. It sounds easy. I even considered trying it myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm glad I didn't because not even halfway through my coworker was thrown up in a garbage can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We think it may have been the breath mints that put him over the top. He was miserable, but he made a boring day at work, more entertaining for all of us. It was all, it was a well day. Love you, Nate, Aaron, especially Brutus Beefcake. Keep up the good work. Uh, I love that. Like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is a- that's a pretty good one. Yeaah, I like that. You think you could eat all the vending machines?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, nah, I'm sure you can spit it out. The gum. You just chew it till... I think you just have to chew it. But I would, I would go, I would definitely go gum last.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'd start at the bottom. I always think the gums at the bottom. Well, I guess it is. I guess it depends on where you, your vending machine, but wherever the gums at, you want to start opposite of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you wanna, you wanna go from there. How long you gotta chew each piece?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would just throw all, it's probably Juicy Fruit 5, just dump them all in there, you know. The Juicy Fruit 5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know some of you are sleeping on some saggy old mattresses at night and you deserve better than that. So give yourself an upgrade. Uh, we have my brother spend the night over here, uh, this weekend with his family. They slept on a Helix mattress. Uh, he loved it. He hasn't been neck, he is sleeping with his neck problems, honestly. And then was like, I slept great, uh, after this night of the Helix sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got, who else got one? You have one, you've been sleeping great on it. It's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome. It keeps you cool. It got so many different kinds. Helix Sleep has a quiz that takes you just two minutes to complete and match your body type and sleep preference to the perfect mattress for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's unique and Helix knows that. So they have several different mattresses models to choose from. They have soft, medium, and firm mattresses. Some mattresses are great for cooling you down if you're hot when you sleep. I, uh, I am. I don't start like that but then I end up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And even a helix plus mattress for plus size folks. And if you have a weird foot that feels weird, helix has a pillow that arches it up. I took the helix quiz and I was matched with a helix desk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusk Luxe matches because I wanted something that felt medium and I'll mostly, and I basically sleep on my slide. I love it. When we've slept on it, it's been awesome. I'm a big side sleeper, hand under the pillow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Helix is awesome, but you don't need to take my word for it. Helix was awarded the number one best overall mattress pick of 2020 and by GQ and Wired magazine. Just go to helixsleep.com slash Nate, take their two minutes sleep quiz and their match you do a customized mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have a 10 year warranty and you get tried out for a 100, 100 nights risk free. They'll even pick it up for you if you don't love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You will. Helix is offering up to $200 off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash Nate. Uh, alright everybody, we had a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a big, uh, yeah, like we said earlier, we had a great New Year's and all that stuff. We also got something, uh, something sent to us from a listener, uh, apparently the dead Burt Reynolds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thee Burt Reynolds. Thee Burt Reynolds. Dear Nate, Aaron and Brillo Pat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll post the whole thing so you can read it. It's very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, what is this from is, uh, we have a mutual friend, the dad Burt Reynolds and, uh, me are friends with Greg Garcia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's got a TV show, The Guest Book is going to be available on Hulu soon. And he actually sent us, uh, episodes of, uh, The Guest Book to watch. I don't know if anybody saw The Guest Book when it was on. Uh, not a lot of people watched it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, but it was a, it was a great show and, uh, it's going to be on Hulu soon. Greg Garcia is, uh, he listens to the podcast. Uh, I've got to be lucky to become very good friends with Greg. He also created My Name is Earl, The Millers, uh, Guestbook, Raising Hope. Uh, I might even miss him one more. He's done a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, honestly, one of, uh, not to, you know, one of the best writers I've ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Met, I'd never seen, he's a, uh, uh, uh, would be a phenom in my eyes of the dude can write a script.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, and it's so good and writes it so fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's just on another planet. And when we wrote, so when we, he came and helped us when we were writing our show. Our show, they didn't go anywhere and it's probably Greg's fault that it didn't. But.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we were writing that show, Greg, uh, came in to help and, uh, it was, it was unreal how good he was, how much he would like come in and write. And it was just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe the greatest idea I've ever heard. And then we just immediately changed and I was like, we should do all those ideas. And we basically rewrote the script because of him. Uh, so he's unbelievable. And, uh, so check out, uh, we're posted the, the, the letter cause it's very funny. And then check out the guest book about Hulu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's one of the folks, he's one of us folks. Nice. So, let's go watch it. Alright, this week, we kinda teased that we were talking about time, but we're not doing time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Did you know it? Yeah. Everybody knew it. I'm going to. Do you know how long it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you want me to say? Is it the moon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know a moon when I see a moon. Last night I looked at the moon. It was huge last night. It was huge last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah. And I don't know everything, do we? Well, I got it right. Notre Dame doesn't, well, y'all good at guessing Notre Dame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't go to college, dude. I'm not smart at this kind of stuff, but I, you know, I can talk my way into a lot of the more stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rory Scoville's got a great joke about that. What? With the sun, you ever go outside and see the moon? You know when you see the moon during the day and the sun's like, what are you, what are you doing? And he's like, what? I'm not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, I thought I wanted to come out. It's like, everybody can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, so they would just, they're just like, there's no, what do you got to, what if you have to do something during this time? Well, there wasn't much doing that back there. So, but if you go, well, we got to go, you want to meet and you go, we'll need to meet in the dead period and you go, well, how do we know when to do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good question. And then they go, well, just count it. Cause people probably had dead period calendars. Yeah. Secret. Their own secret. That's why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, it's going to get a lot worse. I mean, that's ridiculous to go, we just have a dead period and you go, we're just not going to acknowledge it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not bears that we just wake up and come out. I went in, I went grocery shopping during the dead period and I went on a day that it was sunny and then I slept when it wasn't and then woke back up when it was sunny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the who's, but who's they? My brother just said something this week and he's like, they are the smartest people I've ever, never, I've never met. It's always, well, they are, they are the dumbest people. It's one or the other. Or who's they? You're like, well, they, they know who they are. They somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, yeah, they get work? I think astronomer, astronomer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought astronomer was the thing in your car that told you how fast you were going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got an astronomer. That's what he brought. He brought an astronomer. He goes, all right, tell me how fast he goes. He's like, I don't do that. You're like, well, I don't, what do you do then? He's like, I do like star stuff. And you go, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's ridiculous. Uh, well I like that the first team was off too. It's like, well we're going to be off about 12 minutes. That 12 minutes is not that bad, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not now, it's not that bad. I agree. But I mean, in a thousand years, it's going to add up. It is going to be a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Isn't Pope's name usually a little more Popey? Gregory is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's Pope Gregory over there. That's just Greg. What's he doing? He's throwing darts. Pope Gregory's out there playing darts every night. That's what I think. I think Pope Gregory would be a problem. Like it's like, golly dude, he's at where were you at last night? He shows up, sun's coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is it? He's just in November? That doesn't make sense. Something's off. What's off? He's like, well, it's two in the afternoon, Pope Gregory. This is the first we've got ahold of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where'd you go last night, buddy? He's just went out. It's an Applebee's down the street. That's where I think you would see Pope Gregory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it would. Right now would be, we'd be dead, dead of summer right now. Cause these buffoons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they just, it was like September 2nd and they go, by the way, everybody that's imagine that daylight savings, daylight sounds. Hey, remember I turned your clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back or forward, they tell everybody on that on the news. Can you imagine on the news? Hey guys, quick heads up. Uh, remember that thing you gotta do September 14th? Well, it's tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I'm sitting in the wrong college class. That's what I would go, what is this class called again? You're like, oh, we debate nonsense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, nah, we're fine. You sure? Cause if something goes off. And he goes, no, we'll be there. We will be there. Imagine them showing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To that? The Olympics? 12 days off? How long is the Olympics? Back then I think it went for months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. It's a ridiculous thing. I mean, well, cause you had to travel by boat and stuff. Like, I mean, it was just, I think they just combined it all into one. The fact that they even kept trying to do it, it was like, it just never ended. No one could watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, are we even doing the Olympics? You get a newspaper, who won? Ah, the Americans won. When was the race? Six years ago. Just got the newspaper. Just found out. Yeah, I was thinking about joining the Olympics. We should have already started going there when you were eight. You should have started traveling to the Olympic site four years before you start training for the Olympics.