[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to be sitting, I don't want to be at a funeral, uhm, with like my grandparents and my family and stuff and somebody is, as the coffin is being lowered down, somebody standing on the coffin, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, there's a, I mean, there's a lot of comedy value in that I wouldn't feel too awkward then. I think it's like, you know, when,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't explain it. Maybe I'm just the only person who feels like this, but I just feel like I'm trying to think of an example. Okay, I don't know if you guys have played Metal Gear Solid V, but like, uh, there's a character in Metal Gear Solid V called Quiet. She's a sniper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's just got like these tits that are spilling out all over the place because she's basically wearing like a bra.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, and I just find, like, I just found every scene with her in it tremendously awkward. Like, it was just too much. I just, I don't know, like, I know like some people-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean Solid Snake in that game has massive thighs, but they're all covered up. Like, he's wearing full trousers, like body armor, you know, like a headband and everything. Like, basically the only skin exposed on that guy is his face. I'm just watching some gifs. He's got a mullet to cover the back of his neck and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what though, my overall commentary isn't, I don't even have a, like, I don't have a problem with any of that stuff. For me, it is just the sheer awkwardness that I feel when I see somebody with their, with their tits out, like in a music video or whatever. I just find it awkward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, empower away, but know this ladies. I will feel pretty awkward. I might blush as well. I just find it too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I might not even, but I will still feel pretty awkward the whole time. I just can't shake it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are there any, are there any songs similar to Wet Ass Pussy, but they were done by empowered, uhm, mature women, like middle-aged women?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, yeah, I went on a, I did a staycation, uh, which is the, the recommended way to do something different this summer, um, depending on where you live. So over here, what they're telling people is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, don't go away. Don't leave the island or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you want to do is uhm, you just want, just have a vacation on the island. You know, stay, stay at a hotel or go camping or something. So we stayed at a, at a local hotel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, which was fun. We just stayed there for two nights. Uhm, you know, we were, we weren't far away from home. The kids had a really fun time. It was nice. We're going to do it again at the end of this month as well. Just like. And when you told me about this yesterday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was the worst. Like you, we went outside, we were outside on the beach until about 10 o'clock every night just cause it was so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, just like the kids were just playing in the, in the, in the waves and stuff. And we just, it was pitch black, but we were just like, oh, we can't go back to that room. It's just too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At one point, even though we'd paid for two nights, I said, let's just go sleep at home and then we'll come back in the morning. And my wife was like, nah, we can't do that. But I was like, I was, I was dead serious. I was like, oh, this is too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh. Yeah, so, I mean, it's like a, it's like a, like a seaside hotel. It's not, not that it's old, but, I mean, there's a lot of people talking about this, like on social media and stuff, cause, you know, everybody in Europe is like, I'm fucking dying, it's so hot, and everybody in the States is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turn on your AC! By the way, we just don't have it over here. It's not a common thing to have. I thought you had it though. Stores have it. I have it in my garage. I don't have it in my house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just perfectly described the hotel room I stayed in for two nights. That's what it's like. It was like the top floor. It was like a fucking oven. The sun would beat in. No, no air circulation whatsoever. I don't think they have any ventilation in the rooms at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. See if you can decipher that one, bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm Shibuyi actually. I think I'm becoming more and more Shibuyi as time goes on, you know? Sure. I'm gonna start wearing a business suit more often than not. And uhm, without a tie though, you gotta have the collar open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you, if you own like a gigantic telecoms company, you can almost get away with it, but even then it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, fuck me when, like if he gets, like there's a lot of hackers in labs, right? So he gets really pissed and it's just like, I can't understand a word he says because I don't speak Russian, but man, once he gets going, like you can tell when he's pissed off because it's just like every second word is blyat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but this guy is like a machine though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but I mean this guy kills like 10, 15 players per map, like he's insane. Like he does these like corner peeks, he has like roots, like he's on another level, like it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the kind of guy that you would never want to be matched into a game that he was in. He's got like these tricks, and I'm sure a lot of people do them. I've only really noticed him doing them just because of the way he plays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He'll, so he'll, he runs everywhere. So he'll, he'll run up to somewhere and then just stop to listen. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then sometimes just to lure people out of hiding or whatever, he just chucks grenades all the time. He loads into maps with like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 15 grenades. So he's just chucking them around corners, he's chucking them into rooms, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like more often than not, he'll sort of, you know, prompt somebody to react to all the noise he's making. And that's when he knows where they are and then he can normally outplay them or whatever. Ah, it's, it's, it's nuts. It's, it's, it's like watching art. It's, it's insane. It's just like, it's really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could, you might be a big sensation on, uhm, on like, uh, an adult website, especially one where you can upload your own, uh, pornographic footage to, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like some sort of like sea cucumber or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like my uhm, that's a really good description of my uhm, my Twitch channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could like, you could bling, you could put like a diamond, like bling up your dill hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what the issue is. You know, another one that I found really awkward was that Miley Cyrus, the wrecking ball one. That was tremendously awkward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know. It just like, it didn't do it for me at all. It had the opposite effect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't disgusted, I just felt really awkward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, uhm, guys, uh, uh, something I've been obsessed with recently and I've been having a lot of fun with messing around. Check this. Okay, I posted in Discord. Have you guys seen this video yet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Puddle of Mud. Okay, the band Puddle of Mud have covered, uh, kinda recently, I mean, it's a couple of months ago. They covered About a Girl by Nirvana, but, oh man, you gotta watch, just watch some of it, just to, it's, it's, it's pretty good. These guys are like, uhm, I don't know much about them actually, I've heard of Puddle of Mud, I think they're like some sort of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so what I've been having a lot of fun doing recently is using YouTube's playback speed feature. So I let the song play out in normal speed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then at the end of each verse, you know, like, I need an easy friend, uhm, you know, like, I can't have you, I can't see you every night free, you know, like when he, like those, those,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those words at the end of the verses. So when he gets to those, I slowed down the playback speed to like 0.25.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are some really good montage versions of this where it's just all of his like, you know, hernia yells and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of those ones, but man, the playback speed feature thing is, it's super fun to like mess around, especially with this song for some reason, just because.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to find other songs where this will work well for, you know, and I'm thinking the next one that I can mess around with is Intergalactic by Beastie Boys because it has those like, well, no, don't you tell me to smile. You know, they have like those, like those yell parts, like at the end of the verses that I can just slow down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the rest of it, I can speed up. So I think I'll mess around with that one next. It's good. It's good. Yeah. It's a good, good time waster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, when you're, you're waiting for a download or you're waiting for the train to come or you're waiting for your hair to grow or you're waiting for the time to go or whatever, you know, just fucking blast some, some playback speed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's funny, so watch this About a Girl cover by Puddle of Mud. I saw it, it's dreadful. And then, to cleanse your palate, watch the, uh, watch About a Girl from the Nirvana MTV unplugged in 1993.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and watch a guy sing the song without having a hernia, uh, because naturally that was his voice, but the puddle of mud guys, naturally not his voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you put your own, you put your own spin on it. I heard a cover of uhm, oh what was that song? It's not even a good song. It's a, and it's not even that old either, but some, but some girl or woman has done a cover of it, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dancing in the moonlight, everybody's... Okay, so somebody's covered that song. Why? Of all the songs out there, why, why dancing in the moonlight?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, this is King Harvest through the years. King Harvest. Is it King Harvest that did the original Dancing in the Moonlight? It must have been, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well, not even, there's, what's that, there's that rapper as well now, uh, what's his name? He's, he does, he's like funny raps, but like everybody likes him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's say it's like Lil Dicky or something, but I think people actually really like him and think he's good at rapping and stuff, but I just like, just the whole concept. I can't even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, apparently he does. I just, I can't, I can't get my head around it. Like it's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I can't handle that either. I think it's gotta be a generation thing or something, but I don't find that, like, everybody, like, it's one of those songs that comes on and everybody knows the lyrics to, and you're like, how the fuck is anybody even listening to this to know these lyrics? And they're all laughing and singing the song and stuff, and you just think, fuck you for enjoying this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I just like, it's one of those things I, like I get, I get like this and I get, again, I think it's like an age thing where I don't like the idea of it. I was like that with like Father Ted, for example. First time somebody explained Father Ted to me, I was like, that sounds fucking stupid. I'm not watching that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, you know what I mean? It's like, it's like one of those things I just, it makes so little sense to me that I don't even want to try it, you know what I mean? Like I'm just, I'm like super, the walls are up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are some songs that can bring a tear to your eye? Like, okay, think of, try to think of an example of just such a beautiful song that it gets you every time you hear it and it's just like fucks. It's Jeff Buckley. Hallelujah. No. Too cheesy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, not necessarily. Some people find other songs that don't necessarily have a sad story attached to them sad, right? Like there's definitely- I think rehabs are pretty sad, so-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some, some songs aren't sad. They're just like, some songs are so epic that I can almost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was, uh, it was really sad anyway, and I remember, uh, I think it was, I think it was fake plastic trees by Radiohead was on the radio when I heard the news and that choked me up big time. I mean, I was sad because like my friend had passed away as well, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but now every time I hear that song, I can't help but think about that and it makes me, it makes me sad every time, you know? So it's, it's powerful stuff musically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember I was, uh, at the club with, uh, with some of my boys and, uh, you know, we, the, the drinks were popping and, uh, the pussy was, was popping off hard too. It was wet, wet ass. It really doesn't sound like any pussy was popping anywhere near. And all of a sudden, uh, over the, um, sound system at the club, I hear, I hear everybody report to the motherfucking dance floor with their motherfucking drinks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They wet ass pussies, they big fat asses, and the big pround titties with the pepperoni nipples.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I'm coming for you. What the fuck was that? Uhm, and then of course the chorus starts playing and that's when I'm just in a ball on the floor crying. I got bitches all on my dick every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sucking on my balls. Licking on my balls. Wow. Bitches they know. Stick it in their booty hole. My balls. My balls. Suck on my balls. And at that point I am hysterical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll get really into the part where it says, all up in that asshole, let me hit that booty raw. Licking the dick, sucking the balls, swallow it all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beaten down your pussy wall to the ground. Good grief. Spinning round and round. And these stacks get down. Swallow the nut. Dick in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beaten it up, and that's how I fuck. Bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, so dildo manufacturers take note. Yes. Why not use like the classic ice creams as, I mean, a mini is round. Okay. Like I mean, it's like a tube, which is fine because it's quite small, but a big tube, like a microphone size tube doesn't work. It needs to be flattened like a magnum or a solarium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could find like a dildo in the bedroom drawer of anyone, like your mum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sometimes you see like some big hips and you're just like, oh. Okay, let's go through them. Let's rate them on like a tier list. We'll start at the bottom, like the least sexy part of a woman. What is it? Is it the elbow? A knee?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It warps, it warps things. And I think it's, it's, there is some, I read something about your brain on porn being like a bad thing. And so I did, I did when I was going through my sort of health binge time, I tried to reduce it and it made me, um, a lot more positive and happy actually reducing my intake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it was a bit out of control. It can get very, very addicting, right? Uh huh. For sure. Um, but you know, I think you're all adults and you've got to look at yourselves. I'm not judging anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, if you're, if you're, you know, smashing the Johnson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of these women offer this girlfriend experience, the idea that it's something


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not that I've actually have any experience with this. It's apparently more, it's like premium. It's more premium as an experience, right? It's more, it's more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think more people are anxious than ever and more alone than ever as well and feel like they're disconnected from the world. But again, everyone handles this in a different way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, take it in a positive, positive way. And some people don't. I think that everyone's different and everyone's everyone. I just saying guys, be aware of like your own self because you know, if you feel like, if you feel like, you know, you're having trouble, then reach out and get help, you know? And if you feel like you're happy, then good. Maybe help some other people who you might think aren't as.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are some closed minded people, but there's also some people who have educated themselves and come to a conclusion that's different to us because they're more educated. We're still learning. Like, you know, we're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm thinking of ending it. Oh, right. I think it's Charlie Kaufman. Was the movie that bad?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he also did, most recently he did a movie called Anomalisa, which I watched, it was about five years ago. It was a sort of animated thing with puppets. And this one is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, it's an adapted novel that was kind of a weird sort of horror-y psychological thriller thing. You know, one of these modern kind of slightly uncomfortable to watch things that you're not sure what the fuck's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we've watched a few weird movies together. Coherence is really good though, I recommend it. It's like a really low budget, it was maybe like 20 grand. It's got Xander from Buffy in it, and it's kind of, it's like, it's quite a cool thing, but this thing is big budget, it's trying to count as a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But actually, like, kind of was fine because it sort of, as the movie went on, sort of stopped almost to kind of explain where it was a little bit, just to help you fill in the gaps. Whereas this movie is just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never does that. Like, it, it, all the way through till almost the very end, it's still like, I basically, I, I, maybe I was just not giving it enough attention, but I felt like I was, I think I, I felt like I'm gonna figure this movie out, I've watched a lot of movies, I've read a lot of books,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't get it at all. And I looked it up on, I mean, I just Googled it on Google.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the keywords for this movie. It's like dark, boring, confusing. Literally they're the three keywords for this fucking movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's just this, this kind of like odd mess of a, in someone's mind. A little bit like uhm, it's picking, like Anomalisa's a little bit like that. It's about this, it's a really interesting movie and it's about this guy who kind of sort of eh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'm not someone who only wants to watch Transformers, but like, this was, it was too much. It was too far off the other side, and it just, I don't know, I just couldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I basically watch every fucking anything with subtitles on now. I don't know, I've started doing it, I don't know why, but I can't watch a movie without subtitles on now. Or even TV shows. I guess I just- Well, I find the audio, audio


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true, that's a good suggestion. So ExpressVPN doesn't log any data, lots of cheap and free VPNs, uh, make money by selling data to ad companies. ExpressVPN doesn't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially if you have a technology called Trusted Server that makes it impossible for their servers to log any of your info.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of the fastest VPNs out there. I have actually just not even noticed I was on a VPN. Sometimes, uhm, I think you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, thank you. You can go to expressvpn.com slash triforce today. You get three months free on a one year package. That's expressvpn.com slash triforce. Sorry to interrupt. Let's get back on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hang on, no, let's build this up. Okay, so first, the first thing that's gonna happen is the first act is gonna be him needing a shit, maybe even before he got to the house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think he needed his shit, but he just resisted the urge early on, right? And then once he's at the house, he doesn't want to take a shit immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, forget, forget this, forget whether it's okay or not, right? The fact that the movie can be, he needs a shit. He's going to have to take a shit sometime, but he's constantly like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like for example, okay, maybe he doesn't wanna like, maybe the toilet is like in the same room, or like it's really obvious that he's gonna be in there for a long time, so he has to like wait for an opportunistic moment. But then once he goes in there,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe there's not enough loo roll, like it's just one sheet of loo roll left, and that's fine for a pea, but he needs to poo. So then he has to go through like asking someone for more loo roll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really shit at other people's houses though, that's the thing, like. There is that, you're 100% listen, it's like wanking, right? There's this element of shame, okay, doing it at someone else's house. And what you want is you want like the girlfriend experience, you want like the shit friend experience, right? You want like some people to take you to your house and they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey look, this is a safe space. We've got a special bathroom. If you need to take a shit, you could go in there, take as long as you want. We've like, we're prepared. There's like wet wipes in there and everything if you need them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I mean? It's like going to a massage place, right? We treat like these things like, you know, pampering and the whole girlfriend experience now for wanking, you know, you could get someone to virtually wank you off. What we need is someone to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I've prepared a downstairs toilet for them to use, right? I've put a little hand towel on there, I've like, put some, I've checked, there's Carex in there, and some, enough LuRoll, like, I've prepared it. The downstairs Lu is ready for me. Yes! Toilet!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we think about, we think about people shitting our house in the same way that we are concerned about shitting in other people's houses. Cause they sometimes aren't as sensitive as we are towards the needs of a man with a sensitive butthole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He touches your leg a bit, right? And you're like, well okay, that felt a bit, you know, he was pushing my leg into place, but it felt like he was, you know, maybe just touched me a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm just saying that Trevor is, what he's doing is, he's just, maybe he's, maybe you're thinking he's just gauging how comfortable I am with being, you know, man, man, just man, just man stuff, right? It's not, he doesn't mean anything by it, he's just a guy, right? Just a touchy guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He touches you at golf, but you're not sure, you're not sure whether it's inappropriate touching or he's just a regular guy just being a guy, right? Anyway, he comes around to your house, you become friends, you have a drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But every time he comes around to your house, you notice that there's a little smell, you know, a little smell in the bathroom afterwards, right? And he's obviously done a poo, and you're like, oh. But that happens every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you noticed that every time Trevor comes around, he poops, and it smells bad? He'd be bent!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, he asked me to like, he asked me to go up to his bedroom to do it, and I had to go through his sex room, full of all of his weird toys and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I mean, you're thinking like back in the day, there were obviously people use chamber pots and stuff. I guess it would be a guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hang on a second, I've had a few shits in your house, Sips. How do you feel about knowing that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the other thing. It's this whole experience, right? Because there's always, almost always a queue, right, as well. So you, first of all, you see a queue at the toilet. You're like, I'll wait until the queue goes down. And then eventually the queue goes down and you get in the queue and there's like still a couple of people in the queue. And then it takes 10 minutes because someone's been really slow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, you're quite worried about the toilet itself, because it's just this kind of dry, like, funnel shape. It's got that fucking naked crotch shape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this whole time, this whole podcast, I've been thinking at the back of my mind about which different sorts of lollipops would fit, would work as dildos. Hey, you know what? Coming back to that. They're very cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you, I don't know, you got, people use like anything that's a hand as like a bottle here, you know, do you know what I mean? Like there's always like stuff shaped like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was just such a sad event, wasn't it? Because they had the teacher, and they had these guys who were very, like, it was kind of the first sort of multi, like, uh, gender multi-ethnic kind of mission. Before that, all the astronauts had been four-year-old white guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feynman's big last sort of studies, wasn't it, that he did before he died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched a really good movie on it at some point. Um, but yeah, relatively recently. So I know quite a lot about it, but yeah, I really, I really, it was a really sad moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been doing a lot of that, reading like history and stuff, reading about, um, Viking invasions and stuff in the wake of CK3, reading about 1066, cause that happened today, um, Harold


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Norway was defeated at stanford bridge you know so what happened to her old harold who was in charge of england english saxon england was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dual invaded in 1066 by Norway and France. It was like a double team. Wasn't really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, no, I'll check that out. Uh, I think that's enough podcasting for today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many pillars are we talking about? Just one pillar with a little cushion on it and then the flat earth is resting on the cushion?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like a bunch of old pop cans and like some empty, empty chip bags and stuff. Just like the breeze took it down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been watching a lot of videos like SpaceX launches, NASA launches, and stuff like that. They're fun to watch, huh? They're really cool, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, me too. I think that's crazy. I think it's so cool. But uhm, I love this, I love this day and age where,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like every day we're launching something to space it feels like. There's, there's, there's a SpaceX launch almost every day it feels like. It feels like it. They've got all these, these missions that they're running, like Starlink, you know, like they go, they launch like 60 satellites at once and stuff. Right. I just think that's like really neat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but in, in two years time, uhm, NASA are sending more people to the moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and there's this huge program, it's like this, I think SpaceX are involved and I think even, um, Jeff Bezos' space agency is involved in some ways. There's like, there's all this involvement by all these like contractors in America and stuff. And basically, so basically they're planning on sending people to the moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the astronauts blast off from earth, they go and then they rendezvous with this new space station that's going to be orbiting around the moon. Uh, they get off, you know, they go to the toilet and stuff. It takes like three days to get there. Um, you know, they brush themselves off a bit, tighten the bolts a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's got, it's got the lunar lander attached to the space station. So they're not going to be bringing the lunar lander with them every time. It's going to stay on the space station. So when they dock with it, uhm, they can take this lunar lander, go down to the moon, do their science and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lift back off rendezvous with that, with the moon space station and then get back into their capsule or whatever it is and then, you know, get back to earth or whatever. But then in the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't think the space station is going to be a bit like the, uh, the, the ISS, right? Where it's just going to be like lots of little hallways that you float through with, you know, like tinfoil everywhere and stuff. I don't think there's going to be any shops or anything like that, but they're going to use this to stage missions in the future to go to Mars as well, which is kind of exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, I just feel like it's such a cool time to be alive, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, it's a phone call. Here, let me just take this quick. I'll be two seconds, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the thing is though, this date's changed a couple of times already. It'll keep getting pushed back because it's too much of a big sweeping change to be done in like 10 years time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Billion is the, uh, is the new million, right? When I was a kid, million dollars with interest rates and stuff, you could live, you could live off the interest, no problem. Uhm, but now you, you kinda like can't live off a million, right? Like that's what they're saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, but yeaah, it's crazy to think that what used to be this huge number that everybody wanted is like still big, don't get me wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like if you, if you won a million dollars, uhm, and you were like, I don't know, 30, uh, you probably wouldn't be able to live off of that million dollars for the rest of your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, yeah, I mean, that's, yeah, it's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if, what if, uh, what if you got a million dollars, but you had to play five hours of Raid Shadow Legends every day for the rest of your life, for the million? Would you do it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well and think about, I mean, that's, that's what they can count, right? Think of all those pallets of like shrink-wrapped stacks of bills that like drug dealers have in their warehouses and stuff too, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm a bit old fashioned in this sense because I still believe that like, uh, honest, honest work for honest pay, you know, like if I'm walking down the lane and somebody says to me


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey you, come dig a hole, and I dig the hole. I'll do it for a nickel and a glass of cold lemonade, and I feel-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've spent two hours digging a hole without my shirt on, um, and, and I've been paid appropriately and I've been given a little bonus as well. My life expectancy is probably about 20 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus. Okay, well maybe I take it all back then. I guess these, we're still, these jobs still exist? Do they get a cold lemonade too, do you think? Of course. Right, well perfect. I would expect that was part of the deal. But in 2020, no hand job. Like a nice tea maybe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I take it all back. I, um, I, I honestly, I know what you're talking about, but I just thought that was like a movie thing. You know, I thought that was a bit of a trope thing. I didn't realize that that actually happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of jobs can you do online though, like data inputting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can set up like an eBay account and sell like your old stuff too. You might have like some old napkins or I don't know, an old sandwich that looks like Jesus or whatever they sell on eBay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pokemon cards that are worth like 40 grand and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's grim. My friend's dog took a shit one time, and inside the shit there was one of those two brick legos. That was depressing. Like it passed through his whole stomach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, it's uhm, cause I've told you guys that we're trying to get our loft converted, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've dug up part of my driveway and they've cut out part of my deck in my backyard at the two corners of the house because they have to inspect the foundations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they have to, they have to inspect the foundations because uhm, in order for the loft to go in and have some stairs going up to it and stuff, they basically have to reconfigure my roof, like it's like a truss or something, I can't remember what it's called.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's interesting, but it's really, really convoluted process. But yeah, you're, you're banking on these people knowing what they're doing because you don't want your house to collapse in on you one day, which is kind of scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, imagine this though, Flax. You hear those construction sounds, okay, and you think that it's in real life, but what if it's the little dream dwarfs in your mind constructing your dreams?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find it interesting to think though, if what Lewis was saying about a four dimensional being being able to see inside of a three dimensional being, that would mean that if they looked inside my friend's dog, they would see that too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm almost done, I've got two episodes left, but uhm, I've really enjoyed it. I thought, I think it's really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's just because most, most of those settings, um, are, are lead ups to that kind of thing happening in most movies and TV shows and stuff, right? It's like a conditioning, like we're just used to, used to those settings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the big takeaway here, ladies and gentlemen, is don't eat Teflon. You've already got enough in you. You don't need more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to this Triforce podcast, which will probably be going out over the Christmas, over the Christmas time. And my doorbell is just ringing, hang on a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it more infectious? It must have a bigger trends. Do you know what I mean? You must have like each of these things, like once, once you get a certain amount of people vaccinated with COVID, right? It will have, it won't be able to spread because there'll be like too much herd immunity. That's kind of how disease works, right? I guess the common cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, usually. Well, it depends. That can be caused by a virus. It's complicated. That's what I'm saying. Hmm. It is complicated. Anyway. Anyway, listen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think those are the sort of super spreader people who end up causing these big outbreaks because out of their own ignorance though, they don't, they don't realize that they're sick. And before there was no way to even test, you know, um, there was no way for you even to think, oh, well maybe I am sick. Maybe I should.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, especially if, if you're like, well, if your boss is like, well, you know, you're coming in or else you're going to lose your job. That sort of stuff is very tough to deal with, isn't it? Like, you know, there's no, if you're not given an out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess that the vaccines come in though, which is interesting here in the UK. Anyhow, we were the first people to approve this, this vaccine and, um, we've been jabbing old folks left, right. Yeah, they've even started rolling it out here in Jersey. There's a couple of old people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Judy Dench, Trevor McDonald, uhm, Barbara Windsor was, unfortunately died this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was 62 when he died. He was born in 1955, Dale Winton. Are you looking at Dale the Chipmunk or Dale Winton?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know I think it's more important for our natural spirit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I'm looking forward to a time when it goes back to normal and I'm sure everyone else is as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really want to know how, I've not really watched any soaps lately, but I assume like TV soaps are dealing with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoa, rare likeable mode. That was like one of those fucking, I listened to that Tom Cruise audio where he was going off on one of the crew and it was just like, it was, it was like, what was that? It was mad. It was madness though. It was, he was, it was so aggressive and so unnecessary and so like crazy. I get it. I have a feeling he's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not to say it, but like, so many TV shows have borrowed from soaps that they almost become them anyway. You know, I think a lot of people who've, you know, always said like, you know, Star Trek Deep Space Nine was just like soap on a space station. I mean, cause it felt like each, you know, that was the sort of, it was the sort of petty,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I totally get that. Yeah. And I, I, I think I know that feeling where you've discovered something. Yeah. Like a really cool game. Like I think it was for me, it was Death Stranding this year. That was a good one too. I wasn't, I wasn't excited for it, but I was told that it was different and interesting and I had to play it. I loved it. I absolutely loved it too. It was so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With people though, you've taken a leaf out of the P-Flex book and you've retained a couple of friends from the kind of Among Us streams that you did. And I think taking those through to a smaller arena and playing it with friends is actually a really satisfying thing to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think there's loads of people who put so much time and effort into Jingle Jam that you don't even realize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was, yeah, it went really good this year. It was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, well, but it wasn't just me though, actually, like a lot of people in yogs, a lot of people have reached out to a lot of people have played games and know developers and know people and have met people over the time. And so, you know, they all contributed as well. And I'd say probably a good like 20% of the games that came in, came in from people who are not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Run this thing like a business and have stores and make sure they actually don't lose money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only like 10% of their actual donation goes to charity in the end because a lot of it goes to all the executives. I don't know. I really hate that kind of, I've always been very scared of that because I feel that not only undermines the whole point of charity, but it feels like it's just incredibly, those people are going to hell. Do you know what I mean? Like the people who run that are going to hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how they can square their faith and that in their heads. They must be so deluded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some really good stuff. Like I love John Oliver. I really like his, the way he, obviously the, the, the, the topics that he tackles up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Midnight mass, yeaah. I know what you mean. Is that different? Distinguished. An orange with a candle stuck in it. Yeaah, there you go. I mean, the, the fucking, I always say, cause I worked for the church for three years. Sorry, can't be more specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking orange with a fucking candle. I went to a church of England school, I went to a church of England school for ages and I went, when I was in the scouts, every Sunday we had to go, go to church. You know, I was, I was very, I went Sunday school for years, absolutely years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm down for this, right? I'm down for all this stuff. I think it's a good idea. Maybe for different reasons necessarily than other people think it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that it's, it's, it's damaging to certain streamers, certainly their income, to casually refer to their audience as simps or white knights or kind of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think, I think smaller female streamers who aren't, who are trying to just be gamers, I think, I think viewers are worried about being called a simp and that might drive them, that has driven them away often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the Twitch app opens and the first three streams on there are a woman in a swimsuit,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not logged in, I don't have any, I don't really watch streams from home, certainly not on this computer because I'm at home today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, you know, I'm just like, this is what Twitch is offering up me, I guess, because that's probably what most outsiders want to, works. You know what I mean? Everything's built on algorithms now, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Surely that's what works. And I think that's the bigger issue that, you know, the, the T. I watched, I, I watched, I know that this streamer with the swimsuit, um, just stands there. Cause I've seen it before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she just, she just stands there for hours, like six hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By a pool with a little set of microphone headphones on, just literally, and people pop in and out


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People talk to her, she talks in broken English because she's Eastern European or whatever, you know, because I, and I, I imagine it's almost like, I think it's almost like it could be pimping, right? Where some guy gets, gets his hot girlfriends and he's like, okay, I'm going to make you a Twitch channel. You're just going to stand here for six hours in a swimsuit. You're going to talk garbage to chat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had an email this week from someone who said they, uhm, oh god, what was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a, there was an email that came in and it was like, we got this expert available for interview. He's a flat earth expert. I said, I said, I almost turned to Ben and I was like, does he have a fucking PhD in flat earth studies? Do you know what I mean? Like how can you be an expert in something that is, is literally


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in the same sense, I feel like there's these people on Twitch who are creating toxic environments and maybe they want to remove these types of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you put, you put, you, you have to keep going though. I think that, that, you know, it was back in the day was with something we, you know, we used to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had the, the spastic society, you know, for people who had, um, yeah, well, and, and, and we, we, that term got adapted and used to mean, you know, someone, it was originally from cerebral palsy, I think, wasn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard, right? Because if it's in common parlance, like simp, you know, we, I've definitely used the word simp casually as a joke and it may be in 10 years, that's going to be very frowned upon and I'm, you know, I'm going to apologize for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I think some people feel that it is a damaging term that you might think, oh shit, am I a simp? Am I, am I simp by donating to this, this streamer? You know, I think Twitch are concerned that there's this movement of... Yeah, you're going to somehow be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, of, of, of, cause Twitch, you know, a lot of Twitch streamers make the bulk of their income through donations and Twitch, I don't want that money, I guess, to go away. Not that they see a big cut of it, but I think they do see a cut of the bits and they see a cut of the subscriptions. That's how they make their money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's part of it, sure, but I think part of it is also that it does seem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess here's the question, would you be willing to pay though? Would you be willing to pay like a certain amount of money to have? I said multiple times, I want to plug


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couple of them have got dogs and they're going to attack you, right? So you've got to fight the guys and you've got to fight the dogs. And that's like a thing. And so I think what happens is that dog kicking thing gets put into the game for other dogs as well. And so when you fight a wolf in the mountains, suddenly it's got all of its stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So going back to what we were talking about before, uhm, I've, I've started watching The Crown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, but she became famous in the X-Files. You know, she was, the X-Files was Gillian Anderson for me. And then obviously she disappeared for a while, but then she came back and she did, she was in Hannibal. I watched all of that. She was great in that. I watched all of the fall, which is a great like TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is Neil Gaiman shit in a nutshell. Yeah. Fairies and wank and weirdness and some people love it, but I couldn't get it either. It frustrated me because it was just too off the wall. Like felt like there was no... Yeah, it did feel way too off the wall for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate it when there's one actor or actress or child actor usually who is so fucking bad that you can't like pay any attention anymore. Like you can't like every time you can't get, you can't get over it. It just pulls you out of it. So, and it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh God, that's happened a couple of times to me. It almost happens in The Expanse because there's a woman with an English accent in The Expanse and she's just, I think it's just the worst. And it almost ruins the whole show for me because I love The Expanse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to know, imagine if these TV shows, cause sometimes, mostly TV shows like take place over about a year, right? And so you can expect a season to be a year. Like that's usually how it takes to get out. They do one season a year. It feels like a, you know, usually at the end of the year, maybe they're going on summer holiday and they'll come back and it'll be the new year starts or whatever, right? It feels like a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we going to have like a Covid season? Is like season 5 of this series going to be suddenly Covid is in this place and everyone's in lockdown, they're wearing masks, like you know. Some shows might try it. Some shows might not have a choice. Do you reckon cinema is going to add this or is it going to be this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what about The Crown though, for example? D'you know what I mean? What, the Queen barely leaves the house for a whole season? Imagine The Crown was filming this, you know, modern day. Because it covers these events. I don't know if The Crown...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's, it's part of culture, it's part of a social community fabric which people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need to keep, you know, yeah, there's a lot of that and inform like a kind of build this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least sort of, if not community spirit, at least like an awareness that, you know, that you should spend time with other people in a world where we're so increasingly detached, you know, it's an excuse to see people and do stuff. It's necessary for, for to keep us being who we are. And I think, I think that's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a very British thing as well, the British Christmas where you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you have to weigh up, like, a lot of people are criticizing the idea that you're able to, it's certainly in the UK, we're allowed to meet up with our families over this sort of, we have sort of a Christmas period where you can, you can still, you know, you can get on with it if you want. Yeah. But you got to do it responsibly. I understand that and I'm not actually not going to see my family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a sense like, and the thing, the thing about it is, is that, you know, you've got to get your shopping in before the shops close on Christmas and you've got to do all this other stuff. So you end up sort of almost like preparing yourself for a little break away where you can just kind of feel like, yeah, I don't have to do any shopping. I'd have to do much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, else people, you know, I have to, you know, visit for a while and we'll have a drink and it'll be quite friendly and it's always...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always very jolly. I don't know, like it's always better than slightly better than you expect as well. Cause you think, oh, I'll have to spend this time with my parents, but actually once you're there, you know, it's, it's, it's actually quite nice. So anyway, we're going to end this podcast because if you're listening to this on Christmas, I hope you, um, I hope you've just spent all Christmas listening to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not being funny, if you dunk biscuits in your tea, to me you are a commoner. It's common!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mum used to change her channel if there was even a hint of anything sexual happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this was in the 90s, and the 80s and the 90s, they didn't even allow swearing on television after 9 o'clock. Every film was like, melon farmers and flip this, and they, there was nothing. If there was a pair, if a woman started to undo anything, or a guy leaned in, kissed and it was clear something was going to happen, she would change the channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's funny, you were talking about drugs. I watched a show called 24 hours in police custody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the shipment of heroin comes into Britain in a van.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they'd hidden it in what looked like very, um, innocuous items. Uh, so there's these things called spider catches or these cheap plastic things for catching spiders. I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure. At the bottom of it was five kilos of, of heroin, and they thought, okay, let's let this go to where it was meant to go, and we'll just put bugs and recording devices and everything and see what happens. Oh, put spiders in it. And they found these guys, and essentially the way they, like, the damning piece of evidence that they had was that one of the guys, one of the key guys, who they could not tie to this case,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they, they seize this and they're looking at it and it's an HD recording from his car of this drug deal and him turning up and I was just, I was blown away that the guy who's like he's, this guy has an encrypted phone. He's very careful. It's all like, it's all super careful. And yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it was really interesting because the police have this weird kind of respect almost for these actual criminals, because they keep talking about them in these glowing terms like, oh, they're really careful, they're very smart, you know, it takes a lot to catch them and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then when they came to book him in, he called them sir, he was very polite, they apologized that then when they'd arrested him it was his son's birthday, they didn't mean that and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would know at this point, the jig is up, there's no point being a twat, I'm gonna go to prison, that's part of it, you know. And they just, it's almost sort of part of the business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was, it was just such a, it was such a big case. It was like one of the biggest drug cases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in that area like ever. Fine. And they found out that over that time, we're talking over a ton of drugs had been smuggled in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they'd been doing this for a while, and as usual they're all living large, he has a business as a front but he makes no money, and I was thinking, surely there's a smarter way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To deal, to deal with this, then literally having a farm, having the drugs delivered to your farm, and then doing it, then going in person and doing it all from there. I was kind of surprised that that high level of drug deal was so easily busted as he had his dash cam on and he was there doing the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's in the embryonic stages, it's in the planning stages, right? So, I would have like a drop house, I would employ a homeless man to stay in that house, I never meet him directly, we send him money every month to just stay in the house and receive deliveries. When he receives the deliveries...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy's got nothing. The way I figure it, he's motivated. I'm sending you money every week. We know where he is. We're watching the house. He can't fuck us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, he takes the drugs from the delivery, we just post it, Amazon postage, whatever, comes in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He unwraps, he puts it on the back porch, a drone comes in, picks up the drugs, and flies them to a waiting vehicle some way away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If there's a helicopter in the air, we don't fly. If there's any kind of, you know, any kind of police activity in the air, we don't fly. I pick it up from my drone, I drop it off in the van. This is not my van, this is some other homeless guy I've hired. I've got a network of homeless people working for me, and there's no connection between me and the drugs. They take it to the drop off point, I have no contact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I'm saying that I want my entire setup to be on the end of my encrypted phone. I never actually meet face to face with anybody. It's all arranged and none of the people I work with are people that I've ever met or know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think you, you also have to do, uh, you also have to have a regular job and keep normal hours and appear in every other way to be a perfectly normal person. So in the evening you, you arrange all this stuff, but, but these guys do it full time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're very obvious, they, they, like, once, once you start looking at this guy, it's like, hmm, his business never makes any money, but he drives all this flash stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It becomes, why am I doing this if I have to live like this? I'm just thinking as a retirement fund.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just, they did, they did so many of these runs, I think if they'd just stopped earlier, they would never have been caught. But they got greedy as usual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do they, do they have dogs at the, at the depot that sniff every package?


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[Assistant] Well, you go vinegar, they go chilli sauce. You go chilli sauce, they go pepper. You go pepper, they go...


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[Assistant] She would eat meat paste. My dog, if I open the dishwasher and a drop of water falls, like condensation from the dishwasher, she will leap off the sofa and run over just in case it's food. I was like, it's a drop of water. You have water. Why are you staring at me?


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[Assistant] Dishwasher drops. She's so gutsy.


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[Assistant] I personally wouldn't have complained, and I would kind of think, you know, come on, just...


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[Assistant] Can I use your toilet? Can I use your toilet? That's all. I wouldn't have complained, but I certainly would have thought, jeez, that's a bit coarse.


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[Assistant] I mean, it is strange, but like I said, I worked with a guy in the office. He said, I'm just going to go take a piss and he'd always drag the S's out. Piss.


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[Assistant] Like, as if we needed the sound effect. Oh, a piss! You mean like, yes, urinating, sorry, yes. It's like, I'm just gonna take a piss. And he'd go off. And you'd be like, jeez, does he have to take piss?


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[Assistant] So you say, when they built this house, was the toilet one of the rooms that they included in the other rooms? Yes it is. May I visit it alone?


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[Assistant] To you. So if you just teach them those blunt phrases, you don't need to worry about them being impolite. They only know how to be blunt. There you go.


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[Assistant] You know, that's interesting, I watched, um, and Lewis, this will feed into your belief that I watch daytime TV, but I watched 12 Angry Men, uh, with Glenn Fonda, which is a classic.


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[Assistant] Right, right, right. It's very, very, very good. It's a little dated, but like you said, the conversation- But not that dated. No, it's not. I don't feel it's that dated.


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[Assistant] To bookend it, but the bulk of the film, like 90% of it is in this one room.


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[Assistant] Uh, and it's, it's really, really, really interesting. The characters are all different, but not so different that you think. They're not so wildly different.


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[Assistant] That it seems forced, that it just seems like a group of 12 random people, uhm, that have been selected for jury duty and, you know, they've all got slightly different backgrounds and slightly different opinions, but...


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[Assistant] It just struck me, I've never done jury duty and it's ironic because I've always really wanted to do jury duty and I've never been selected and I know tons of people who hated it.


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[Assistant] But you can say no, in those instances you can say no. Yeah. Like, if you, like I think, that's what surprises me is,


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[Assistant] It kind of goes to the core of who must be doing jury duty. It must just be old people and the unemployed. Well, who else is doing it? My wife was selected to do it. Because most of the jobs, if you said, your boss is going to write and say, look, if they leave, you know, we're going to go bust. This is a great job for the homeless. Get him in!


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[Assistant] Wait, this is what me and this is actually talking about when we were watching it. That was it. We were like, if you watch the OJ thing, you know, if you look at how long those people were sequestered for, oh my god.


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[Assistant] But hold on, hold on. Just to clarify, there are lots of different levels of homeless people.


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[Assistant] There are people who are homeless for economic reasons and they've had some family disaster or they've been forced out of their house and stuff like that. That's one group. Then you've got the kind of homeless people you get who walk up and show you the contents of their underpants.


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[Assistant] Who piss in front of waitrose, who do all that kind of stuff that's like, oh my god. And then there's the mentally ill homeless people. So there are all these different groups.


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[Assistant] I think isn't that the thing they did in Scandinavia where they had all these empty buildings and they essentially gave homeless people apartments and that makes such a difference in terms of changing the situation because suddenly


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[Assistant] You can open a bank account and you can receive post and if someone says what's your address, you can now give an address. And it's like without that base level.


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[Assistant] I think they say people are, I mean, I know they say, you know, society is three meals from, from, uh, revolution or whatever, or, or, you know, descending into chaos. But as I understand it as well, most people are like two or three paychecks from the street. Like that's the way most people live is, you know, you're going to be in, you're going to be homeless on that kind of fragile,


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[Assistant] Wait, what if I'm at your house and I need a shit? I'm shit outta luck then as well, aren't I? Find a door or fuckin' shit your pants outside.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing, I remember, I was at a friend's house one time, we were having a party, this was about 10 years ago, we're smoking out the window, and this guy comes home- You still had a friend.


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[Assistant] With the big light on, curtains wide open, just strips off.


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[Assistant] And uhm, we see, uh, we see this guy and we're all just like, oh my god, dude, close the curtains. And the girl's like, you know, sort of thing. And uhm, he didn't notice. And I thought, I mean, you're saying if you're watching, then look away. But at the same time, if you just stood in your window naked,


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[Assistant] You're actually, I think that's personally extremely self-centred, and honestly a little bit sociopathic. To think that, hey, if looking at me do this is a problem, look away. Well then, why not just shit in the street? It's not the same at all.


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[Assistant] I didn't, I said, telling people, and you guys are now saying walking around your flat naked and people look, well that's on them. I just think it's a bit weird, why would you do that? You don't think that's weird?


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[Assistant] Right, right, but, okay, okay, so hold on. If you'd been more specific about the scenario, I think it would be different, but it felt like a blanket term.


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[Assistant] Okay, but I think if we're putting those layers of caveat on it, what you're saying is, it's deeply unlikely that anyone could see me unless they'd specifically gone out of their way to see me. Is it still okay to walk around naked? Yes, of course.


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[Assistant] Like that's not even a question, but when you put it as broadly as, if the windows are open and curtains and everything and you're walking around naked in your flat, is that a problem? Then all the different possible connotations pop into my head of, of who could look in and what's the flat situation, what's, what are you overlooking a fucking playground? Who knows?


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[Assistant] But surely, surely the same argument goes, which is just don't look.


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[Assistant] Like I used to hate at school when they'd make us take the showers. None of us did. There were like two guys in our whole class that would get naked.


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[Assistant] You know what the weird thing is? I remember the kids in our class who used to get naked after PE and shower.


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[Assistant] And the rest of us would just wet our hair, because the teacher would check. Like, he would come in and check and be like, everybody got their hair wet? Yea, you all got your hair wet? And we'd all have wet hair. And be bone dry underneath, because we'd just run into the shower, wet our hair, and then come back out again.


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[Assistant] I mean, the school I went to, it was a grammar school. You had to pass an exam to get in. And we were meant to be, if you were in that school, you were like the top 13% of Bournemouth, right? Everybody else went to like non-grammar schools. We were meant to be like the smart ones.


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[Assistant] So a kid from a council estate who got into the school and was thick as shit, genuinely, his parents scratched the back of the teachers.


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[Assistant] The other half of the kids that were there from council estates were honestly, I just wondered, holy shit, like, what are you doing here? They just fought all the time. They, they hated the teachers. It was just like, what's going on? Like it was, it was bizarre.


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[Assistant] I'm sure they do. They have to. I mean, I mean, honestly, otherwise the schools that these kids were gonna go to, some of them were fucking awful. Like genuinely awful. I just, I just, some of them I just, there were definitely people there that I thought


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[Assistant] What, what actually are you doing here? I mean, I'm not doing well at school, but uh, you know, these kids just seemed like on another level of not doing well.


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[Assistant] Like this is so alien compared to my school experience. I felt like we were more, uh, cause first of all everybody has to wear a uniform, so that kind of removes a lot of the character, if you like, behind what people, you don't know what they're like, cause they're just wearing the same fucking suit as you.


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[Assistant] There's lots of that. See, I think that's, that's, I mean, I know that people, I know, especially in America, I remember the Simpsons did a bit about, uh, school uniforms where they were like making fun of, of school uniforms in a way because it was like, uh,


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[Assistant] If I had to wear that to school, I think there would have been definitely kids there who were dressed up really nicely. I would have thought, Jesus Christ, I feel like an absolute piece of shit now. It would have been awful. The school uniform made it much simpler.


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[Assistant] You know what, there were also the square-est squares in our school with the kids who seemed to add to their school uniform. Like a waist cut. Right, right, yeaah. Or they'd wear like a, uh, a V-neck.


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[Assistant] About the, a boy school next to a girl school. So mine was a boy school of about a thousand kids and there was a girl school of, I think,


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[Assistant] You're kidding me, you're separating kids from other kids? Yeah. Just because some are boys and some are girls? What do you think there's gonna be, we're gonna have to fucking set up an emergency birth clinic in the pavilion because everyone's gonna be banging, so there's gonna be babies spitting out of every corner? Calm down!


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[Assistant] Do they, do they understand though, if you speak to a French person in, in Sipsy in French?


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[Assistant] To be fair, to be fair that they also, the schools around here have different half-terms. Oh, right, okay. Like, uhm, yeaah, one of my, one of my eldest friends called round and was like, you know, is she there? And I was like, no, she's at school. And they were like, oh, we have half-term this week and we're at school next week. So, so there, there are differences. Oh, okay. I thought it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I definitely copped a big eyeful of boobs.


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[Assistant] I can't stop myself, I'm addicted. Exactly! So I'm saying, but if I'm on camera and I've been asked to do a job Lewis, I'm a professional. Penny, mess me up! I'm a professional.


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[Assistant] Fuckin' hate it. And now I've sent my oldest to a girl's school because it's a good school. I hate girls.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're pretty bad. My sister went to a girl's school and she, she would come home every day,


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[Assistant] And she would complain about some group of friends who she wasn't talking to. And I would, I would get really angry. My mum, my mum always tells me...


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[Assistant] They were very mean to each other, yeaah. But I wonder if part of it is, it's much less likely to, to resort to violence, which, I mean, I had fights at school for sure, not many. Oh yeaah, okay, I did have a couple. Yeaah, we had fights. I think that in a way, uh...


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[Assistant] No, I hardly ever, but we did have a few, but it was generally, that was the catharsis, that was what settled it, in a weird way. I'm not, I'm not advocating violence, I'm just saying that I think


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[Assistant] Boys tend to just go to fisticuffs, whereas girls just get bitchier and bitchier. That's a massive generalisation. There were a couple of people I did like.


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[Assistant] Where they're all handing each other posies of flowers and complimenting their hair and stuff like that. You know, that kind of shit. I certainly remember. There were fights all the time in the boys' school. And we'd all just watch. I mean, it was great. It was like the highlight of playtime was, uh... It wasn't that much.


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[Assistant] I mean, did you guys remember the Australian fires? Did you remember the fires in Australia at the start of this year? When the whole country was like an apocalyptic wasteland and there was just thick smoke. I had completely forgotten about that.


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[Assistant] Very, very, very ill. I had the Rona. I actually had the Rona. I got tested, uhm, Mrs. F and I got tested, uhm, on I think the 21st or something like that.


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[Assistant] Yes, so she was sent home, her entire year was sent home from school a week early from what would have been the end of term because a bunch of kids in her year tested positive.


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[Assistant] All people in their house did, so I was like alright, so we went home, uh, so she came home and we kept the youngest home because we thought what's the point?


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[Assistant] And also, you know, if our eldest is at risk of spreading it, then she will have given it to the youngest and she would also be at risk. So we just kept them both home for the last week of school. Uh, they were like, this is great. And then subsequently I got, uh, the sort of scratchy throat. If you remember, I think when we recorded, I had a bit of a wobbly throat.


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[Assistant] And everybody in my, when I was streaming everyone in chat, I was like, oh, he's got the COVID cause it's kind of a meme. And I was like, shut the fuck up. I don't have COVID. I don't have a fever. I don't have a cough. I don't, you know, I haven't lost my sense of taste or smell. Nothing. I'm fine.


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[Assistant] Subsequently, it turned out either that was the start of it, which I suspect, or I caught it a few days after that. But either way, I had it. It was the sickest I've ever been. And I had the Chinese flu before, which I thought was the sickest it's possible to be. I was well wrong. It is much easier to be an awful lot sicker.


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[Assistant] And it was so fucking horrible, uhm, that even thinking about it, uh, actually gives me a cold sweat.


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[Assistant] Your head is hot, maybe your body is hot and you'll go hot and cold and hot and cold and you feel lousy. This was like my entire body ached, all my organs ached, my back was...


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[Assistant] So I was just lying in bed. There was a three day period where I didn't eat, I didn't drink as much as I should have because it made me feel ill to drink or anything. It hurt to move in any way. So I just lay there. I didn't do it. I couldn't watch anything, couldn't listen to anything. I was just literally lying.


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[Assistant] I literally didn't do anything. I tried listening to podcasts. Couldn't stand it. Couldn't stand it. So I just lay in my room. And also because I was in so much pain, like actual physical pain all the time, I couldn't sleep. So I would sleep for an hour and then wake up because I was in agony to have to turn over a tiny bit, which hurts.


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[Assistant] They left me to it and I was there, there was a good 36 to 48 hour period where I was sleeping maybe an hour at a time.


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[Assistant] For two days, and just literally unable to do anything. Completely immobilised. And my brain was just trying to entertain itself in some way. So I was imagining conversations and... No, it was awful!


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[Assistant] It's funny, it's funny now, but it was so bad. But I was just imagining movie sequences, like you know that bit in Aliens, when Ripley comes back out of the, uh, they rescue her from the pod and she's having to explain to the corpos


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[Assistant] Let's just think of something, you know, and then like some scene from The Matrix and then some conversation I'd had when I was like 12 suddenly reappeared in my brain.


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[Assistant] Do not get corona, listen to me kids out there, I know there's this app called Vibe, I don't know if it's in America or if it's over here, where you arrange like, be a rebel, have a party.


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[Assistant] Don't. Do not get corona. It's fucking horrible. Don't do it. And the first thing I thought when I had it was if my mum had this, I'm not kidding, I think it would finish her off. 100 fucking percent. She is old.


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[Assistant] It is, it is weird. It is very weird, but I'm also kind of impressed with the level of organization in, in managing all of this shit in a weird way. Like when we went for our COVID test,


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[Assistant] Which you have to do yourself. I thought someone would do it, but they hand you a bag with all the bits in. It's like a little test yourself kit. And, you know, we had to go to this place. It was on a university campus over near Teddington Lock.


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[Assistant] Right, it's piled up and a load of yellow bags with the toxic symbol. That's what it looked like. Oh my god. So you go in there and there's all these little booths that they've built and the instructions.


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[Assistant] I print it on the wall and they hand you this plastic bag with all these things in and there's a lady there who stands and directs you. Open your bag and you open the bag and she goes, remove the little pointy thing. You take out this long piece of plastic with a piece of cotton at the end. You have to, and then it says now you have to swab your tonsils.


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[Assistant] For realsies. But this, this is just a little piece of plastic. So you have to jab the back of your tonsils, they give you a little mirror and you're like, GAH!


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[Assistant] Huah! Like that. And then you have to hoik that up your nose. And it says poke it up there until you feel resistance. And I'm thinking...


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[Assistant] Instantly, I don't want to put this up my nose. Does that count as resistance? But it doesn't. You have to jab yourself at the back of the nose. It makes you really, your eyes water.


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[Assistant] And, uh, we buried them all, which was, you know, it is, it is horrible. Uhm, for, for me, it's, even though I, if it was someone I wasn't that close to, there's something about seeing that box, that very final moment when you see a box that has a person in, it's horrible. It's very emotional. Very emotional.


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[Assistant] I wonder if the power of the tri-force, that triangle, is a magical thing. Three sides in balance, three sides forever joined in harmonious balance.


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[Assistant] So he's pitching the idea to you of having kids from a, this is for the species kind of thing. He's saying, listen to this, for the sake of humanity, you must procreate. That's his big-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It definitely is, it definitely is. You'll notice, you'll notice your kids are very much like you. And that the things that they are interested in are things that you're interested in. And they're, but, but that there are also things that you are really interested in, but they don't give a shit about. They're their own people, but there are definitely things that you think, that's just like me. That is really just like me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way they're interested in those things. And for you, I think you are a smart guy. I mean, look, you know, you've done a lot in my opinion. You've done a fantastic amount, even just talking about the jingle jam.


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[Assistant] If you look at that, 20 million dollars raised. That in itself is an achievement that 99.9% of people in the world will never manage. So I think you've done some really good things. You should be proud of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are? I mean, obviously, and this is, this is obviously, you know, this is a, this is a men's rights podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think about this, you're always talking about how the human race needs to do better, right? And we need to improve and stuff. Your child, Brindley Junior, or anybody listening to this, your children will be the ones to do amazing things that maybe you haven't done.


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[Assistant] Just, uh, maybe put the crib right next to Terry. Terry can keep an eye on the back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone I know has had a third, the third baby is like a fucking breeze, you know what you're doing? Yea, absolutely. And the third baby is always just chill, because there's one thing that little kids love, it's watching slightly older kids. It's like the most fascinating thing in the world for them, and they love watching the older kids.


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[Assistant] So, oh, so here's a question. Is this the first time that you told anybody about it?


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[Assistant] I'm honest. I am absolutely honest. That's brilliant. So that's why you said you said you might be late.


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[Assistant] You know, do you remember there was always a couple of kids at school who could solve the Rubik's Cube, like you could mess it up anyway and they would just go


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[Assistant] I always, always amaze me, but the weird thing is I can, like everybody, I can solve one face of a Rubik's Cube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you have a piece here and it needs to be moved up to this piece, you do this sequence and that'll move it into position and you just repeat.


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[Assistant] These formula over and over again, uhm, because of course, if you have a face that's solved and a face adjacent to it that also needs to be solved, which is of course the case, you can't solve that other face if that means messing up the solved one.


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[Assistant] So it's, all of these formulas involve rotating a piece and then putting all the other bits back into the same...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're done. So if you can memorize that formula, you can solve the Rubik's Cube very quickly. So when you see those guys who go,


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[Assistant] Just bear in mind though that honestly, just like I'm talking about the Rubik's Cube and the puzzle element to it, once you learn


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[Assistant] The, the earlier moves are much more repeatable and predictable and the same and you can look at many, many, many games that have this style of opening and this style of response to that opening and they play out very similarly and it's not until like move


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 15 or 20 that suddenly you've got a new game, which means we haven't seen this before. Like this is a sequence and this is a combination of pieces in, in play that we have not seen before and we can look.


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[Assistant] At the records of games and say, nope, that's not one that has come up. Or if it has, it's rare to have these pieces in this sequence and all the rest of it. Because mathematically there are so many possible chess games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's insane, it's actually insane how many possibilities of game there are.


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[Assistant] So what makes chess interesting is when you get to the point where you're like, yep, I am familiar with all this so far, someone does a move that you possibly haven't seen before, and at that point the chess actually begins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the main thing to learn early on is these openings, what are the standard opening moves, and you're basically, what my friend Ashwin said to me, you're waiting for your opponent to make a mistake, and for you to spot that mistake and exploit it, and at that point the game starts to tip in your favour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it's about you making less mistakes than them. That's, that's person versus person chess. It's not about some brilliant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Queen's Gambit play, it's basically, can you make fewer mistakes? Because that's most people, most people are going to make a mistake at some point. Which is why playing against a computer, which is all I do, I hate playing against people, playing against a computer, the computer will make the same moves over and over again, and you can predict the moves it's going to make, and it doesn't make mistakes very often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that, that, it helps, and you definitely start to see patterns, like, you know what a fork is in chess? Yeah. So, you know, when, when you can, like, it's mainly with a knight, where you move a knight into a position where you're threatening two pieces, and he has to choose, and you're gonna get one of those pieces regardless, because he has to choose between two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can't save them both. He can't capture your knight. So if you get the best fork is when you get like his queen and his king. So he has to move the king and you get the queen with the knight. That's like a fork. So looking for those as a pattern. Looking for revealed, um,


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[Assistant] We are, we are of an age where that era of The Simpsons is all that's imprinted on a good percentage of my brain. Everything that happens, I run it through that filter.


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[Assistant] Because they've done all these fucking, you know, the best shows ever and all that kind of crap. They do that over this period. And because I was ill, I was watching a couple of those.


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[Assistant] The number of shows that ran for 10 years, or just around 10 years, Friends ran for 10 years, Frasier ran for 10 years, Seinfeld ran for 10 years, these were shows that they did 10 years, and that was like, you think of them, they seem to be there for ages, and then they stopped, and they did all these episodes, but they stopped, because 10 fucking years is enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Homer's actually got it made, which is in the Frank Grimes episode where he goes around there and he assesses, like, Homer's life. He sleeps at work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody just kind of lets him float by, he has this huge house, and Frank Grimes works his balls off and got all these qualifications and has a terrible time of it. For me, I thought that represented the writer's awareness about the fact that why the fuck is Homer being seen as a punchline here? He's actually got it made compared to so many other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then they just ignored that. And that was just like, the Simpsons are going to Brazil! And all that kind of shit. I just think you should have stopped.


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[Assistant] We've talked about stuff we spoke about before, we've had some personal news, we've had some, like you said, good, bad, we talked about video games a bit.


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[Assistant] Listen, time changes, time passes, the world is a confusing and scary place, we don't know what's coming in the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't achieve a thing. I spawned in and as usual, I shot at a couple of people and then instantly died. I fell instantly outgunned. I felt that every single person I played against was much, much, much better than me. So I just stopped.


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[Assistant] That's right. Where we continue to try to find strange outlets for our COVID lockdown and freezing cold weather shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. It's wild. Yeah. It's wild. I, I suppose you are right. It is the place that people pick up snacks for journeys. There's always them in the airports and the train stations. And I guess for some people chocolate is a little bit like cigarettes. You know, you, you need a chocolate bar to keep going throughout the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically it's come up with by this guy apparently who thought he was the only person in the world who was opposed to child slavery and child labour. So he deliberately made a company to ensure that none of his chocolate came, none of his chocolate used that. And this was in 2002 apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, hold on a second. Back up a minute there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, apparently. I guess in the chocolate industry everyone is just so complacent and used to just ignoring the fact that there's horrible stuff. As most people are in business, you know, these guys in suits sat at the ivory tower, not the Ivory Coast. That's where the slavery is happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They try and, they, they buy explicitly, uh, from farms that are not using exploitation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, you are right. I think people are the centre of their own universe as a result. We can't help it, just assuming that we feel like, oh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think people have this power to self justify, they hear one thing and they think, that's probably what happened to me, and then that becomes the gospel in their head, and then everything they do is, you know, alleviate. No one goes through life constantly feeling, well some people do constantly feeling anxious and guilty about what they're doing, but those people don't tend to do that many bad things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think people who, people who do bad things feel like they have to do them for a reason, either it is to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is how you end up sleeping in his bed, and your wife ends up sleeping in her bed, and it's just like, you just switch places, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes me worried, though, whether you're- I don't know whether that's- I don't know. I don't know where the line is up there, right? When are you just scared like traumatizing your kids?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, that's the way to keep them out of your bed though, right? They come into your bedroom, and the oven glove's there, and they're like, oh. You know, if they wake up scared, then again, maybe the oven glove is not a good way to keep scare them out of your bed as well. I don't know. Anyway, shall we move on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is amazing. It is wild. They got a little drone, yeah. Well, I guess, can you call a drone a mini helicopter? I suppose it's more than that. What would you call it? Well, I mean, it's called a drone. I think everyone knows what a drone is. Why are they calling it a mini helicopter? I did. Just for like dads who don't know what a drone is. Come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel, I feel like Perseverance is, I mean, be called that because we've obviously had crashed ones before and stuff, um, and I feel like, you know, it's good to like finally get something, something down. But yeah, like, I dunno, it's, what's, what's it, what's it gonna do then? What, what's it doing? Look for, I think the big thing it's gonna do is look for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love astronomy and all of this stuff and trying to figure out where the, what's going on out there and what the hell it all is. It's so weird. It's just so weird and like, odd to think there's these vast spaces of nothingness with these burning hot balls of gas in them and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of our, like, the distances are so enormous and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that there could be, you know, other forms of life out there doing stuff, making giant things, or messing with physics, or... God knows what they're doing, if they even are there. It's just so exciting, and so much unknown. So much mystery. There's nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All we need to do is miniaturise ourselves down to the size of an orange, and then we'll be able to walk through. We can zip through. Oh, so, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically, yeah, it was kind of interesting because it's a similarity to the grain silo thing that, you know, once she climbed into this water tower for whatever reason,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, she just couldn't get out, um, and so she sort of almost like paradoxically took all her clothes off thinking that would help her stay afloat and that would let her climb out more easily, but it, it, it didn't and she drowned in there unfortunately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't sound that dangerous either, like, if you were just a teenager messing around, you know, exploring a building, you got to the roof and there was a water towel, you might think, fuck it, I'll jump in, it's really hot or whatever, you know, it's like a swimming pool, it must be interesting and weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well also that's where a lot of the shelters are. And so they end up getting bussed to that area to go to the shelters and then they get let out of the shelters so they end up on the streets around that area. So it is historically...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's lots of reasons why it's such a big problem. And it's always been a problem. It's always been a poor area. It's tough. We've seen it. We've been to San Francisco and Los Angeles and we've seen these districts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it Tenderloin in San Francisco where there's a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of homeless people, and it's really kind of, really, and it's strange, we always talk about how strange it is, how strange America is, where you can just suddenly take a wrong turn, and I'm sure there's areas like it in London as well. Not on the same level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I mean there's this true crime sort of boom on, on Netflix, really, in these places. I've watched, I've watched all of these things, and I really like them, and they're really interesting stories, murder stories. They're huge podcasts as well, like, some of them, so I listened to some podcasts that are huge podcasts that are all just, they're very murder porn though, they're very like, misery porn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's asking for, yeaah, that's asking for karma to get you, isn't it?