[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do see these little tin metal boxes strapped on the armrests and on the onsite, in older cars as well. Obviously it was super common for even people in the back seats of these things to smoke. Oh my god, man. I guess you're not allowed to smoke weed, probably, on a plane, even if it is a private one, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I just like mixing it up, right? Obviously the high charisma character is a bit of a cheat code for RPGs that you play online, but it's nice to just try different stuff, you know? Same with Dota, I don't like playing the same character over and over again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done like the A to Z challenge multiple times because I like mixing it up, I like having it used to play something different. And I kind of feel like I have to be forced to do that sometimes as well. Otherwise, cause you just naturally fall into the roles you're comfortable with otherwise. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 7 people have been stung in 20- oh 11 people have been stung in 2023.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently it's quite bad, you have to be s- you can get signed off from work for your- for a week. Wow. Yeah, so. Sounds great. A gardener got- got signed off for a week, let's see if he was stung by- by them. Oh shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tyralities. Oh yeah. Well basically, you know how, you know if you've got two hands. Yes sir. Yeah. But they're not the same. Right? Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So therefore they're different, but they're the same. Like, if you had to do a formula, you'd say, oh, a hand has four fingers and a thumb. That makes sense, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, basically, like, certain set-ups in the body have- the most obvious one would be thalidomide, which caused birth defects. Which was given as this, like, morning sickness pill around the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It caused a lot of babies to be born deformed, it was really bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was just because when it was being manufactured it wasn't pure and so it was, it's hard to purify out the isomers, the chiral isomers. So yea, there's a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, almost any chemical would be chiral in some way and sometimes it doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but sometimes it really does. So yeaah, it's something to pay attention to. It's interesting. It's just part of chemistry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We saw uhm, we saw a planet this week, an exoplanet get like, studied. Cause you can look at the light coming from these places and find out potentially what chemicals are there. In some ways you look for the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and there's a- there's a chemical called dimethyl sulfide, which is basically only sp- theoretically only supposed to be made by bacteria or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Full of little life? You know, full of something. Um, not exactly like, it's not alien farts, but it's like, it's kind of a, obviously it's these sulphur compounds that like, they smell like broccoli in the microwave or whatever. Mmm, nice. Um, so, yeah, it's, it's, it might not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's nice to have these interesting biomarkers for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that is, that is, um, too far away for us to visit, I think, unless they put us into a robot, or freeze us, or something. Which both of which don't seem possible in the next...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, fear not friends. It's pretty, it's pretty uncommon for mothers to die in childbirth these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that it's nice to be, um, thought of, and people caring about me, like, and people worried that I'm coming across weird, but I kinda don't care anymore. I'm gonna be 40 this year. Well, maybe time goes out, I will be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no. Well, we're possibly gonna go to Vegas for TwitchCon. Oh yeah, that's next month as well, isn't it? Might be there. But, I think there's... I'm finding myself...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anti mainstream, you know, not watching football or Love Island or Bake Off or, you know, anything that is normal, kind of not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go into, not going to, I don't know festivals, not necessarily like doing some of the more mainstream stuff that people do, because we're in this video game world, right, and I've always been there, ever since I was a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was board games and, and you know, these types of, these types, like, like Lord of the Rings, you know, like, I dunno, reading and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A different, a different world, right? And so I've always felt a little bit apart. And so it's not unusual for me to not understand something new in mainstream. Cause I didn't really understand what the mainstream was back when I was young. And so I do have these weird takes on things and it's, you guys have to set me right. And I don't mind changing my mind as well. Like I'm, I hope I'm willing to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So your online activity can't be seen by anyone. It works on phones, laptops, even routers so anyone who shares your wifi is also protected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other thing people do though is they get used to breaking into a certain thing, like that's why Ford Transit vans are very, um, commonly broken into because people know how to break into them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A friend of mine was burgled actually relatively recently. And it was because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uhm, they think it was because they used to get all these, like, uh, doorbell, like, uhm, like, doorbell, like, knocks on, like, doorbell rings, cause they were in an apartment. Right. And, uhm, they obviously always answered it, but then when they went away on holiday, they came back and they'd be burgled. Jesus. And took, took like the laptop and switch and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They think it was because, you know, that, that doorbell ringing was like, the test. Yeah, they were testing, I see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The suit is actually kind of incredible. There is this weird uniform thing where people have to wear the right uniform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ...just to not be noticed and not stand out and it's kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, obviously the women are not wearing suits to that, the men are wearing suits, the women are wearing, you know, nice dresses or whatever, right? And it's a nice excuse to dress up, cause black tie


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, you should do the voice. That's fine, you carry on. If you ever find yourself in Sussex, New Brunswick, it will make my year just to hang out and ask a few questions. Thank you for your time. Very polite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That just started, there's no way, I think I was- No one has, I don't think anyone has ever sent an email from my account, or sent a message from my account, or done anything. I've done a few automated ones that YouTube published automatically. There was that time when the Team Double Dragon and Triforce feed was linked to my YouTube, and so Sips would-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So no, that's the only time I've ever done that, and it worked out badly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's, you know, I just, it's a FOMO. That's what it was. You know, a young person, young baby FOMO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that's just, that whip is built in to us, to feel this way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fair enough. This is great. Do you think, like, I'm quite aware of my own, like, addictions or drive, or the things that I, like, pop into the front of my mind, and recently I've been, um, it's been summer, and I've been having the occasional ice cream, right? Right. Which I don't normally do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely very addicting, and so I felt, I felt that way, like, you know, you'll get that sometimes, you'll wake up in the morning and you'll be like, oh, can't wait to do this thing, that you've been, you know, play this game that you're already hooked on, or whatever, but, I just, I'm quite aware of it, and so, we are driven by, like, these animal urges all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was always like, you know, for nine months a year, for the whole school year pretty much, for the whole school terms from September through to, you know, June, it was almost, it was always dark at that time in the morning, right? And always, you're almost always freezing fucking cold in this sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gone back, I have to ask him what he actually did after he pushed me out the door, but it must be, it must have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can go for the shortest podcast we've ever done. People collect stats on the podcast all the time. I wonder which episode is the shortest of all episodes. There's gotta be one that was like half an hour long because Lewis had to go to an appointment or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a Neil Hamburger type, like a comedian playing a character comedian doing stand-up comedy sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't, I haven't watched it, but I do like my, I do like me a post-apocalyptic setting for a show to take place in. It's like one of my favorite themes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw an ad for one on, I think it's on Film 4 of all places, but it's uhm, you know the woman who plays the, uh, the wife of Frank Underwood in, uh, in House of Cards? Yes. It's her, she's, she's directed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, I think it's a series, but it looks like she's like just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she's very good. And, uh, from what I can tell, it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's about a woman who just moves out into the middle of nowhere. Uhm, I don't, I mean, I don't know much more about it, but it looked interesting in that, you know, it looked like it maybe it was like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that's what I got, I got big dude sim vibes from it when I saw the ad for it, but it's one of those, I don't know, like it's on film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd be down for watching a sort of, uhm, you know, it doesn't, for me it doesn't have to be action packed, you know? I'd be happy watching somebody just meandering through survival sort of thing, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should talk about movies that we haven't seen. Well, every once in a while you're gonna have to have one of these though, right? Okay, that's true. We do consume a lot of media between the three of us, and sometimes it's good to just meet up and discuss these medias that are being consumed, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just ahead of your big trip as well, what are you gonna do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can go whenever you want. It's all there. It's at your fingertips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we still, we still have a, a young baby who we take to like, you know, play groups or whatever because it's good for them. Like she, I mean, she gets a lot of socializing anyway cause she's got older siblings, but it's still nice for her to be around kids her age and learning how to interact with them and all that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it's the same thing. The first one, it's like packed, tons of people. And then these, they usually go on like during term time, right? So it's a couple of weeks. Like it's like, you know, six, six to eight weeks or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then by the end of it, there's like nobody. You're like last man standing. Like people just drop off all the time. They think that it's going to be this new thing that they're going to do. And then very quickly they realize, ah, I don't actually want to do this at all. This is not becoming part of my routine. I'm out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True, yeah, I know. Uhm, man, I think I'm done with The Apprentice. If it comes back, I'm just not watching it. That's a lie. I'm boycotting it. You're gonna watch it, you're gonna watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's that aspect to it as well. I always, I always thought I would love to take, you know, like at some point, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably not now, but like, at some point in the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to take a night course on like woodworking or like, you know, like carpentry or something like that. I'd love to learn how to do some of that stuff. Uhm, and, and do it better as well, you know, so I could just do a couple little odd jobs, but not feel like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you feel like this uh, flax, or well maybe even you Lewis, but like, any time I try, like I have an idea to do something, but I just can't, I don't possess the tools to make it, you know? And then if I try, if I try to make, like say like I want to make like, uh, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I do with mugs, I make the big mistake. I don't rinse my mug after I've used it. So then I just get that ring of congealed


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would even, not just for like, hard skills, but just to sort of get over the mental hurdles, you know? Like, I feel like if I went to a class like this and the guy was like, okay, today we're gonna make this, or today we're gonna practice doing this, you know, it would just be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I did it, I would be, I would, I would talk myself out of it less. You know what I mean? When it, when it came to it, I'd be like, oh yeah, I can do that. I know how to do that now. I've done this or whatever. You know, like I feel like it's, I would go for that reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it would unlock a whole new world for me, you know? Like there's a whole new world of DIY just waiting behind that door, but I'm just too scared to take a step into that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know what I mean? Like I'm so close, but like, it's just something holding me back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like a class though, I like to be around people. Don't get me wrong, it's handy to watch YouTube and stuff, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I had an opportunity to go somewhere with people and I could speak to somebody about it, I would, I would opt for that every time. I don't know. It just seems a bit more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'd get more out of it, you know? Is it a YouTube video? I find sometimes with YouTube videos you watch it and they just make it look too easy, you know? And you're sort of like, oh shit, it's just as easy as that. And then when you go to do it, it's nothing like what they've done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I would do way more of this stuff if I didn't have three kits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, I mean, friends were as well. They just, it was just presented a lot nicer. But like, I mean, uh, Chandler and Monika were at it. Remember Ross and Rachel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's her face? I don't think that was the intention. I think Chandler got cancelled, so I don't think anyone wants to fuck him now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did he write a book and he had like some very hot takes on certain people or something? It was something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not so much, they, they probably feel like they are addicted to it, but they don't have, uh, an outlet for their addiction, you know? Like, we ran out of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish I had that staying power with, like, a game. Like, the amount of Dota that you've consistently played for as long as I've known you. Like, I can't stick to a game like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are they scared because they think they're gonna get flamed by their teammates?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this applies to a lot of different aspects of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life as well, you just gotta, you gotta give it a go. You can't think, I'm not going to do that because in a year, whatever, like you might, you might apply to work at a company. You don't know if that company is going to be around in a year. It could be the biggest company in the world. They might not be around in a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was watching uh, I was watching Married at First Sight last night and one of the contestants on the show, they were having a big group discussion and uh, I think the question was like, which, which couple do you think is like doing the best so far or something like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one of the, one of the women was like, uh, you know, the two of you, I, I didn't, I didn't think at first, but you know what? I ship it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, oh god, I don't even want to explain it. It's so fucking stupid. I don't know why you would ever utter those words, but there she was on TV saying it. Like it's fucking so stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of them hit, like, it was an entire sentence of, uh, individual, like, things that you hear on the internet, but like, he was like, oh, when the power is overwhelming and she walks in in her full truth or something like that, I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually got somebody, I was getting my hair cut the other day and my hairdresser was like, Hey, you Canadian? Like she, she was not Canadian. She was like, you know, from, from Jersey or whatever. And I was like, yeah, she's like, oh yeah, I recognize the accent. I said, well, you're the first because I've been called everything. I told you guys about this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think for me, like, in terms of time played, like, in, of all time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dota is funnily enough, one of my higher played and then World of Warcraft for sure, but you're talking about, I mean, I've been playing World of Warcraft, uh, off and on since 2004.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've been playing Dota 2 off and on since it came out in 2010 or 11 or whatever. And even then, on Steam, I've got like 1300 hours in Dota 2, but spread across a decade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played- What the fuck I was doing wrong? I played that one, was it Xenonauts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah. I struggled to enjoy that. I thought I would really enjoy it, and I just found it very- just frustrating. Like, it was just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great! Man, we had a huge storm here. It was unbelievable. I thought, I legitimately thought we were gonna die at one point, it was unbelievable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounded like, uh, a million people knocking on my windows, uh, all at the same time with their fists banging with their fists. Cause we had, we had hailed the size of clenched fists, uh, for a little while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they're big and you can imagine that just, uh, you know, it's smashed car windows, everything, like it was insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the wind was like nothing I've ever heard before. There was a tornado over here at one point during all this. Uhm, and uh, and the rain, the heavy rain, it just, it flooded a lot of stuff, including my garage, which,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was flooded, but not as bad as last time, because uhm, after last time, I changed some things around to make it a bit more, uh, not flood-proof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clean up and tidy up and stuff. And then I was, I was back up and running, so I didn't have to go back to the office or anything like that, which is pretty nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, but yeah, it was, uh, my kids all slept through it. I think one of them woke up at one point, uh, because it was, it was quite noisy, but me and my wife were just up all night because it was terrifying. It was just, it was unbelievable. Battling down the hatches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My greenhouse in my garden is smashed to bits. Like it is all over the backyard. I still haven't cleaned it up. It's everywhere. There's just pieces of it all over the place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it gets, it does get a lot of weather, a lot of weather passes through the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The channel, like we, you know, we're used to like storm force six or seven wins and stuff like that. And it's, it's all manageable, you know, you get used to it after, after the first couple of storm force seven storms, you're just like, whatever, like this is just normal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, this was a Stormforce 11 and, uh, it really hit different. It was unbelievable. Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, yeah. The airport was closed. All the, all the boats were canceled, but the lead up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we were away for a week, uh, we went to France, we took the kids to Disneyland Paris.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which is fun. Yeah, and we were meant to come back on Saturday, but all the boats were canceled because there was like a ton of shitty weather ahead of the big storm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all the boats were cancelled and we were stranded in Florence for until we didn't get back until Monday night. So we, we managed to get back onto the boat on Monday. It was packed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were so lucky, and then when we got home, the storm hit basically like the next day. And uh, all of the boats and the planes and everything. We get all of our food over here by ferry and they were cancelled for about a week. So all of the supermarkets, the shelves were like totally empty. There's no bread. Yeah, it was fucking crazy, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does. It's not at all gradual, it's instant. And they were like saying on the- What did your kids make of it? Well, they're kids, right? So they, you know, nothing overly bad happened. I mean, there's a bit of flooding, but they didn't even really see it, so, you know, it just didn't register with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They heard, you know, they heard the winds and the next day it was very windy and stuff, but you know, they just sat around in their pajamas all day and played Nintendo, so they just didn't really care, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, pretty much, yeah. I remember a couple of, we had a couple of bad storms. We had a big ice storm in Montreal and Ottawa when I was a kid. We were off school for like two weeks and I thought it was fantastic. But like, there were people without power for like months, like people died, like it was, it was, it was a really bad storm. But when you're a kid, you just,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how much of that even sunk in. I think they just, they recognized some disruption, but I don't think it affected them. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think they look back on it as like a tough time or anything like that. It's weird when you're a kid, again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're a kid, it's just a different perspective, right? As an adult, you're very aware of how disruptive it is and everything, but I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But overall it was really good. Uhm, it was my daughter's birthday while we were there and we didn't, we didn't mean for this to happen. It just so happens that her birthday is always on that half term.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it just happened that her birthday was happening while we were over there. And uhm, they were really sweet about it, you know, like all the, uh, they called them cast members were always like saying happy birthday and everything and a couple of stores that we went into cause they gave her a badge when we checked in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a birthday badge to wear like on her birthday. So on her actual birthday, when we were going around and stuff, if we went into like a shop or whatever, occasionally like the person would be like, oh, hang on, I've got a telephone call and it's for you. And my daughter would be like, what the fuck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, well, it's good too, the attention to detail is, uh, is, uh, admirable, because, uhm, this happened about three times, and every time the message was different, so she wasn't like, and she would pick up on it immediately. If it was the same message, she would say, oh yeah, it was just the same message, like, you know, she


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She would definitely notice things like that, but, uh, it was pretty good. So, uh, so that was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not like big thrill ride kids, you know, they didn't really want to go on any roller coasters and stuff, but they love the scenic rides, which I think Disney does really well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so we ended up going on like Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion and all those slow sort of scenic rides.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hundreds of times, it was unbelievable. I think I went on Pirates of the Caribbean and I ain't joking like twenty times in four years. My daughter was just obsessed with it, and uh, they got back and they watched all the movies and they


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got like eye patches and swords and everything. So the pirate role play has been like off the charts and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was good. It was a good trip. They had a lot of fun. And uh, I think they have lots of memories that will, you know, they'll have for the rest of their lives sort of thing. Uh, but I really just needed a dark room to, to die in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many dates, like what was the frequency of dates for this particular date?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she, she's like in her office doing work or something and she doesn't fraternize the, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does she do now though? Cause the last I heard when she was like, I feel like she created a name for herself through the bath water stuff, but I'm not sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got a very typical, uh, like Victorian London house set up with the two, with the landing, right? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find in my experience, usually the party really starts after I leave, cause I'm old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure I've felt like that before, yea. I don't know if I feel like that all the time, but having said that, I can't remember the last time I went out, so, you know what I mean? It's all so long ago now, it's all so distant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, if I go out in Bristol, I just go to the, uh, the pub, like by the office. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And sit outside there all night basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She just got a really big front drive. Right. And what were the cars, like, parked out there? Was it, like, Lambos and stuff? Mostly? I think she has a Ferrari, I think. I wonder how much...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once I start me, I'm like a juggernaut though. I'm not stopping for anyone. Like, not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cringe. The scripted bits are cringed and the unscripted bits are even more cringe. Like the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joy, but I was making him laugh this time because we were watching BlizzCon. We watched the opening ceremony together. Because he's pretty into gaming and he, you know, he's interested enough. He wanted to see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so every time somebody would come out on the stage, you know, they'd say, and next up on the stage, Randy Miller, lead producer of Diablo or whatever. And like, before he'd get on stage, I'd be like doing the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the same question would be asked and my son thought it was really funny. Like, you know, just the cynical side of it sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all on coke, they're all on coke. They gotta be. I love watching, uh, like, I noticed this, um, especially whilst watching the opening ceremony for BlizzCon, because when they do their speeches, they obviously have to rehearse them to some extent, right? You can't just really wing it. Um, and most of their speeches are pretty good, they're pretty polished and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's definitely points in their speeches where, and you can tell that they've rehearsed this as well, they're stopping for reaction, audience reaction or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so many times they would say something and the audience just did not react. But there was a really big pause cause they're waiting and then they'd be like, and then they'd just start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This literally happens at every party, every house party known to man this happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know I don't come across that way, get me a room and I'm like a butterfly. I open my wings and look out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have a big swig of cider and then burp. I do that. I don't really do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's a competition now, because there's like, maybe there's only one invite to Belle Delphine's next party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If somebody invites me to a house party, I'm going. I don't care who it is. I like to look at houses. Like, I will look at somebody's house. Even if your house is fucking totally shit, I'm looking at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They needed to pad numbers, and nobody else was available.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you would go in and be like, oh hey Jimmy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love what you've done with the home theater. God, it's changed so much since last time. You know, you could be that person. You could be the person. Yeah, last time I was out at the ranch, uh, the home theater did not look like this. Uh, it's changed, it's changed a little bit in the past, even just the past couple of weeks. I was only out here in May. So, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like a ten hour plus flight, it's not worth it to me. If I'm already out there for like, y'know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even like, even all the times we've gone out to go to like, uh, Blizzcon or whatever, we've done other stuff while we're there. You know, you go to Vegas or you go to Universal or you make a trip of it. So, so, so going to that party would be part of the making a trip of it, you know? I don't think that's your, your destination. You're not going to Vegas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, I wanna just say while we're on the topic of movies, and I know we're probably ending in a second, but there's a new trailer for the next Ghostbusters movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next Ghostbusters movie is called Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. What do you think of that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they, I think you can, you can, you can tell it is because there's a lot of the old stuff in it, which I think is for adults who are sitting there with their kids to be like, oh yeah, I remember this music. Oh yeah, I remember this actor, whatever, but not enough of it to make it for, you know, our generation, if you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it's fine. It is just an okay- I don't wanna see it again. But like, if my kids want to watch it on Halloween or whatever, I'll sit through it. Like, it's not an impossible- it's not insufferable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Ghostbusters when it came out got the 80s treatment though, because I had Ghostbusters, I watched the movies, I loved them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had Ghostbusters bedsheets and I had toys and I had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was huge, it was huge. I don't think Ghostbusters will ever be like that again, you know? I don't think it's a big enough IP now to be a dominant, you know, in a world where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paw Patrol and fuckin', uh, whatever else kids watch now, you know, uh, Miraculous and stuff like that. It's just, it's a non-starter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a lot more based on science. When Ghostbusters came out in the 80s, it wasn't a movie that was ever meant to be made. It was made by people who wanted to make it and were able to fund it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but so many times it was almost completely canned. And, uh, and another movie that was like that was Home Alone, the original Home Alone, which is like a classic now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the time, nobody wanted to make it. Everybody thought it was a stupid idea. It was going to be a stupid movie. It wasn't going to make any money. And then it went on to make more money than a lot of films ever have made. You know what I mean? So it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Ghostbusters was such a- there was things that helped make it so popular, like the fact that the theme song was so catchy and just people loved it at the time or whatever, and a couple of other things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Otherwise it had no business ever being made. Like it was just one of those movies that is a miracle that it ever saw the light of day, but everybody involved is so glad that it did because it did so well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Indiana Jones at the time, when they were coming out and they were good, was, there wasn't really anything else like it. They were, they were, they were really cool movies at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nowadays you've had so many movies that have come out that are not like Indiana Jones, but could definitely scratch your Indiana Jones itch. You know what I mean? I just can't believe that they would still make Indiana Jones movies in this day and age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People aren't gonna watch the new one when they can just go back and watch the old ones if they need to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like these movies were on the brink of being forgotten though. They get revived just at the right time, but I don't know if it's ever super successful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The original movies, for sure, yeaah, I would go back and watch Ghostbusters 1 every once in a while, you know, like, with my kids or whatever, but I'm not, I don't know if I would necessarily go out of my way to watch any of the newer Ghostbusters movies, because I just watched the originals, so those are the good ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of good action movies from a while back, and comedies as well, kinda just told simple stories that fit into the time of a movie, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Multi-movie spanning, you know, you know what I mean? Like it's very rare now that you just get a movie where it's just like, yeah, it's like a pretty simple idea, but it's cleverly written or, you know, it's written in a way that's funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or whatever, you know, like, it seems really rare now, somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No way, what am I thinking? No, I mean Marios. And Barbie, um, are the two massive ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like the story of Apple or like the story of Google or whatever, they're interesting because they, they did things that nobody were, nobody did at the time. Whereas with Blackberry, it's like, yeah, okay. You have all these platforms, you have all this technology and you made a phone and it's, it's not, it's not that remarkable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Making a personal computer when none existed is a little bit more interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm a sucker for documentaries like from the 90s and the 80s because I love the old footage, you know, cause it's, it is a bit, it's nostalgic, right? You see sometimes they show like old commercials that were on TV or you see these old


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Celebrities that were big at the time that you've just completely forgotten about or whatever like for me like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like David Beckham, well sorry, David and Victoria Beckham's son, their oldest son, just got married. Brooklyn? Brooklyn? Yea, just got married, but he got married to a daughter of, I'm pretty sure another famous person, but it made me think as well because I was just reading about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Francis Bean Cobain, who's just gotten married to Tony Hawk's son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course, yeaah, of course, but it's, it's interesting, like the, uh, you know, all these names of like yesteryear, whatever, uh, their kids are now, you know, getting, getting to know each other or whatever, different circles and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that'd be good. Uhm, I would totally go in for one of those. Man, that'd be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was a Brit saying, yeah, you're right. Here's one from an Aussie, that's how it's been signed. And it's simply titled, Australia Greater Than Britain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well judging by these emails, Lewis, beneath the surface of that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he will never go, rest in peace, period flags, he never went to Australia and he never will, even in death. And he never will go on a train with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so after Brittany Jean in 2013, her career does admittedly die, but this is mainly due to her conservatorship. Again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are several potential methods of male birth control being researched and in this field we often talk about which one might become the most popular among men. I've listed four different male birth control methods below and would love to hear your thoughts on which one you'd prefer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so, I mean, this is specifically because I talked about having a vasectomy. Would I have opted for these instead? Just cut my dick off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they can't reach and fertilize the egg. The effects wear off after about 24 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd think, well I'm gonna get lucky, slam the pill down, and then, I guess, you'd have to say, oh, well, give it a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right across from his bedroom they find a locked room, which also gets smashed in with hopes to find a stash of Class B drugs, only to find what could only be described as a shrine to M&M's and M&M's world. Statues, models, boxes of M&M's from around the world that were all seized as proceeds of crime, and apparently put to him an interview.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do love my aura frame, like genuinely we, uh, we, we gave them to, to everyone. Uhm, so my sisters go on, my mums go on, and we can just like share pictures of the kids to it, and that like, that's grand, that's grandparent crack right there, you know what I mean? They're just like, they're sitting there and suddenly new pictures pop up, and it's their grandkids, they're like, oh look at that!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, a lot of people have emailed in saying, if you think that's stupid, our train is called High Speed 1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of ads you're getting, based on what you're watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, yeah. But it doesn't matter. It's the fantasy, it plants itself in people's heads, this is a possibility, and if I get lucky, this will happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, my whole thing is I apologize to Mrs. F constantly. She married a very different man to the one she's stuck with now. I weighed...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 35 pounds less than I do now. I had a full head of hair. I was a young buck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I could, I, I was, I was cool, I like to think. I wasn't cool, but I like to think I had a bit of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I am nothing but apologies. The male ego out there saying, oh, don't be lucky to have me, I'm 65, she's 35, she should be lucky. These guys are deluded. That's all it is. It's delusion. It's classic male delusion. Just get with the program, realise you're completely worthless and whatever woman you're with, you're lucky to have her. God bless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My family owns a mountain cabin in Norway with no central heating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, so they, they send up, they sign off the email by saying, I predict that Sips wouldn't want to be there for even a day. No, I wouldn't. So, very accurate. Well done. Um, I myself in similar fashion would not want to fucking be there. Sounds terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm 100% with you. It's a polar bear. It's clearly a polar bear. They're fucking huge. Hippos, scary, big bites. Polar bears fight walruses, they fight other polar bears. Polar bears are like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you've done is- Yeah, a small band. Yeah, so, you've listened to a very small and unpopular band, and they're not very good. Have you never been there before? Like, where you've been to a gig and it's like the support act or whatever, and it's just like, these guys aren't very good. Like, that's just, that's nothing new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Style it is. I've been trying to figure it out. Uh, it's all over Spotify and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Generally the band, someone will know, someone in the comments will know, uhm, she listens to music where I would say most of the sort of avatars of the bands are like cartoon characters or anime characters. It's incredibly fast, like very high BPM.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just like intense. It almost sounds like you're playing three tracks at once.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, it's like way, way more intense than that. Like it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's something core, it's called. And she listens to a lot of that. As well as some good stuff. But this is what she listens to. Just switch off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I do remember it, it was kind of meme music. It was a bit meme-y at the time, yeah. But I mean, we didn't really have memes the way we do now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I guess that, you know, Photoshop Friday always had certain consistent jokes and that were like the early version of what we now understand as memes. Like for example, now you can just have on TikTok,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, Wesley Willis on that. Rock and Roll McDonald's, I definitely recognise that. You'd see it referenced on something awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the weirdest band I ever saw, my friend and I were really into a band called The Fall. This was sort of in the 90s and the early noughties. Marky Smith was the front man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're kind of, uh, kind of a legendary UK band. John Peel was a big fan of them. And, um, and we love them because Marky Smith was a very unusual frontman. Um, couldn't sing, uh, looked like an alcoholic that would be on a park bench. Um, but they were great. I mean, they were a really, really great band. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty much their, uhm, sort of, uh, I guess qualifications were, I was in the fall, right? So it was like, oh, this guy used to be the guitarist for the fall, and now he's got his own band, let's go see him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, anyway, we went to see this guy, um, and my mate was like, this guy was a guitarist for the fall, we should go see him. I was like, cool. We went there. He had a very odd set where he just sort of played non-music. So one of the things he did was he had the band going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he came out with a drill and a violin and just ran the power drill over the violin strings, making this god awful noise. Okay. And he would sort of, he had this dead look on his face like, this is music, why aren't you all enjoying this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my mate looked at me and he was like, this is fucking awful, let's leave. So we went to the pub. But it was just that, that was probably the weirdest set I'd ever been to. Cause it was packed and people were just standing there like with their heads cocked to the side like, mmm yes. And some people were like, mmm what the fuck. Like it was a really weird mix. But some people were clearly like, this is amazing. It was terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Fleet Fox is one of my favorite bands and I remember that their music is very sort of close harmony, it's very, very, very structured.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could quite get the sound right, but there are tons of bands where their live rendition


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has that energy and that rawness and it's amazing. And then you listen to the record and it's overproduced to fuck. Like just so overproduced that it sucks the soul out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always wanted to see Dan Deacon. He was, uh, he's apparently, his live shows are pretty legendary. But yea, so Andrew W.K., very odd career, because I felt like, I felt like he was one of those acts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either music journalists or the record label or someone was like, this is going to be huge and treated him and pushed him as if he was going to be huge and he just wasn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but I committed this year to being busy. I wanted to be busy all year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was just like, you know what? I'm, I'm going to do it. I'm going to Birmingham in April for more Dota. I'm going to be there for a week. Um, and there'll be more Dota coming up later this year and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it's weird, I guess that the kids are old enough now that I don't feel any kind of... I know what it's like looking after them. Like, it's not as hard now that they're old enough. They make themselves breakfast, they make themselves lunch, they can cook dinner if you need them to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I mean, I feel like people who give Dota a try, it either instantly grabs you, or you think, oh, I'm just not interested in this. Which is absolutely, I'm not even going to say it's a marmite of games, it's just, it's not like you either love it or hate it, it's just it either grabs you and you immediately want to put the time in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the complaints from people were not necessarily about same old faces in terms of the pro players, because there are actually quite a few new pro players coming through over the last few years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I'll be honest with you, a lot of the people that I work with are really, really good at what they do. And when you get someone new in, sometimes, uh, you realize why the people that do what they do are hired all the time is because they're, they're very good at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but the, I don't know if this is just a Stockholm thing, even if it's just a this neighbourhood thing, we're in sort of the southern part of Stockholm, Hammarby, I can't pronounce it Swedes, I'm sorry. Hormobo or whatever it's called. Uhm, there's tons of restaurants around here, the Swedes seem to love to eat out, they eat out a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They eat out quite early and it seems to be every single night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we would, this was a Wednesday, I was trying to get a table at a restaurant. It was for about 10 people. But do you think on a Wednesday that should be easy enough?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I'm not, when I was out last night, there were 10 of us out, I was the only one that had a beer. Actually, there were two of us. The other lad, a Welsh lad. So it was like, he had one beer, I had, I had a couple of beers, and nobody else had it, they all just, oh, just water for me, please. I was like, man, times are changing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's going to have to, I'm going to have to do less of it. Cause it was just, it was just becoming a habit where I'd have a few cans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, actually I don't need that. And I found, so what I did was I substituted like drinking alcohol for just having tonic water, the same as I'd have for a gin and tonic, but with no gin. So just the tonic water with a bit of lime in. And that sort of, I was, I realized that I was just drinking for the taste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just sort of habitually, because I didn't want to just drink water in the evenings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I would just have a couple of cans. So if I just have tonic, that was, that was fine. So we got here on the Friday. I had one beer with a couple of lads. Then we came back to the hotel and then I hadn't had a drink until last night. I only had two beers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, man, I'm really, if I was in Bristol right now, you know, I would have already had a 5am finish, a 3am finish and probably another 5am finish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they, they know that these chickens are well looked after and all the rest of it. It's like, it's an egg. So I was like, cause the logic to me of veganism makes sense as a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But says actually, torturing animals and eating them is a good thing. I'm not gonna try and make that argument. So I will just occasionally have questions, and one of them was about eggs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How has no restaurant thought of this before? That's ingenious. Those devilish bastards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, I'm sorry, but that is, that is just kids are shits to each other. Part a thousand, yeaah, that's ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a top lad. That's right. But now, oh my god, it's so reassuring. Re-re-ah, it's nice. Thank you Zadi. You've just, you know, you've just undone all my week of like, knot tension knots of anxiety. It's good, it's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah yeaah, it's all through the Guardian. So of course, sorry, if you did listen to the last one, Zadi was going on a blind date with this lady, but it was organised by the Guardian newspaper, and he was like six years younger than her, he just, it was a bit of a mismatch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so there was a bad reaction to that. I feel like, on dating apps, that's like, one of the things that is either on your profile, or like, you say immediately. There's certain things that, you know, these days... I think that information needs to be shared immediately. It is interesting that age as well wasn't known. It is almost more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Old school, natural, you know, you meet someone, you like them, you click, it doesn't matter what age they are, it doesn't matter if they have a child. It is like, it's very different, uhm, to the modern thing, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost like you already go through a series of filters, now, before you meet someone, and it would be unusual these days to not reveal that you have a child, or, or, y'know, cause I think it's quite a big thing, y'know, uhm, to, to consider taking on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, in a, in a partner. It is, yeah, of course. Uhm, so yeah, I can see why Zardy was like, oh, now you're telling me this, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could bring out casualty conversation. But I mean, maybe she just wanted to live the fantasy of no kids, you know, she's got this hot guy, she's like, let's see how he, you know, live her...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think it's, it's, it's just dating in 2023 is like, people are prioritising their own mental health with it, and I understand why, because the whole online dating thing is a mess. I'm so glad Leighton has


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Met someone in real life that he wants to ask out. That's so nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Indeed. Yeah. And we could do the heavy lifting for you, cause it is awkward to invite someone out on a date, but for us it's not, it's just funny, right? So, if you wanna invite, ask someone out, or maybe you've got a birthday coming up, send, uh, send a message to PFLAX. Send a message to PFLAX, he loves this kind


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got a date, actually. Well, I told this the other day, but uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I was chatting with someone on, um, on Hinge, and their two truths and a lie were, I've won the lottery, I'm royalty, and I've got a shark. Right? Which is a great one. It's a great two truths and a lie. I see these all the time, and they're always kinda shit, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But these are great because, you could very easily have won ten pounds in Austria. Exactly. You could be very distantly related to some foreign realm or have bought some, you know, bought a Laird ship in Scotland for ten pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they, well actually the lie was that they hadn't won the lottery, so they're royalty. They're royalty, this person I'm chatting to. Oh my god. Which family? British? Swedish? French? How far back? Well I haven't got that info. She said, the lottery is a lie. I said, that's interesting, because I feel like I won the lottery when you replied to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I'm enjoying it. So I'm messing around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would have gone through with it but thought about what he did the whole time and wishing that I'd done what he did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it doesn't have to be, like, any, you don't have to get anything out of it, like, or some sort of future, you know, house in the country with a dog dream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I completely- and actually, do you know what? I- I think you're right, like, this can happen the other way around as well. I think that, you know, sometimes-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like sometimes you're like, wow, you're much hotter than your pictures. And other times it's like, oh wow, uhm, you are, you, you, okay, you smoke. Oh, two hours into the date you told me you have a child. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're never gonna have a good bath time. Yeah, I agree, sis, but at the same time, like, I think that people are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm frustrated and emotional about this whole thing and kind of annoyed about it. And also, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone experiences it in a slightly different way. You know, if you're someone who goes on a dating site and you've got all these hits and you're like, you know, trying to like find someone who's good and people are messaging you and you're messaging loads of people back and forth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like when I get a message on Discord or something, you know, someone will send me a message, I'll look at it, I think I'll reply in a minute and then it drops off the line and I just never reply. It's not malicious, right, it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's people who are faking their age, you know, there's people who aren't interested in a relationship, they just wanna see what's out there. There's people who ARE in a relationship, but they wanna see what's out there. You know, there's, there's, there's, yeah, there's all sorts of crazy stuff, uhm, going on, so you can't get invested, you can't start thinking, uhm, anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's all well and good to say that, but sometimes you just don't feel that way. As hard as you work to try and think a certain way about something, it doesn't always work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I used to work in an off-licence, uhm, sometimes the stuff went out, went out, got expired, right, and it would be on expiry for a while, y'know, I think, I dunno how long you can sell, or how legal it was to sell expired goods. But that would happen often, y'know, back in this place. Anyway, after a couple of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there were all these expired cigars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was, again, absolutely rank. But I spent one summer playing World of Warcraft, smoking expired cigars, and drinking Archer's Abba. It was nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but there is also regional dialects of English too. Like, I mean, lasso or lasso. We don't use lasso's commonly in the UK. No, they're very uncommon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, tong. My dad always said tong, cause it's a derby thing, and also it's a Leicester thing. Penguin says tong, instead of tongue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Wow. Did you add the Liz Hurley stuff, or was that in the story? No, that was all in there. Oh, right. Wow. I didn't realise we'd be getting any bodega today. Yeah, that's pretty much it, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's great. Oh god, these are great. Mailbag episodes, man, they're just so much better than the regular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He changed PayPal to X? He's obsessed with it. He's like a teenage boy. X.com. What can happen though, is he can, this is me being a time traveller for the next five years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, it's your birthday soon, isn't it? It is, it's in uhm, I'll probably, by the time this podcast goes out, I'll be 40. Shit, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you feel, like, appropriate, like, how do you feel about, like, imagine a sort of prison, right, for burglars only, where all their stuff gets nicked, y'know, all the time. Like, they have, like, it's like a setup, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, he's saying that an older woman knows what they want, right? That, what if you're, what if you're as I am, 40, and what if I was dating a 28 year old woman who by your definition is an older woman who knows what she wants? Right. Hmm. I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this is great, uhm, and I don't have a problem with it. I think that it's just unusual. It is. I think women tend to date


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or at least a little can do around their age, whereas men tend to date a bit further down. Like it just is like that, uhm, in our society. So it is, it is less common, right? I'm not saying it's weird, I'm just saying it's less common.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, because, I mean, Zadi was 26, right? She was 32. He still is, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sardi dating an 18 year old, whatever, or whatever, 6 years, 20 year old, which again is not, uh, ideal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the other way, but also, which I guess just shows how much the age gap is at that, it's more exaggerated at that younger age, right? But also, uhm, the alternative would be she's 32, she could be dating a 38 year old guy, that seems more normal, I guess, to be someone who would...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what you're talking about here is very similar to the idea of like, uhm, a generation ship going off to colonise another solar system or something, you know? Four Mormons. Exactly, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea as well is, like, I don't think, it's very hard to tell who the best doctor is, right, or the best at something is, right, because people are limited by their own ability, and even-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think we have this misidea in that people are inherently better than others. It really does depend, doesn't it, on situations and luck, and I think if you got the best doctor I doubt that that would make more than a ten percent difference based off, like, an average doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, to, to his performance, if you like, or keeping people alive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't really need that in this situation, you just need people to survive long enough to have reproduced and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You probably won't live as long, or you'll die earlier in space, but does that matter if you die five years earlier? Like, you don't live to eighty?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably not, like, you know, I think there's, there's the whole, it's a whole can of worms and a whole overly complicated nightmare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost all our ability to create things. The reason why we have such powerful computers and such good knowledge and such.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Such things that let us have this modern life is because there's so many of us and so diverse and so much economies of scale, so many things being done on this huge scale. If you had to go back and make your own food, for example, if you had to make your own food in your garden, you'd make a lot less food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's got this, it's got almost everything, like even like, steel, you know, you might not have the space to make, cause that's made in such a huge, you know, these huge spaces, these huge factories, using huge amounts of resources, like limestone and things. Food production itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've gotta understand, like, maybe it's been set up so there's way more food being grown than there are people, and that could be a good setup, but if you let uncontrolled population growth, it will grow to the size that can be fed, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if they need someone who knows about all the 80s sci-fi movies?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe the aliens would be listening to all the transmissions from the 60s and 70s, and your knowledge of cinema, PFLAX, is exactly what we need to communicate with them, with all the references.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Two man sofas. It's a cinema full of two man sofas. Where there's a couple of single seats as well. This sounds great. It's amazing. They will bring you beer and chips. Wow. They have burger and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which was, which was typical, typical Ghibli movie of, feels like a normal movie, wasn't quite sure where it was going, cause there was, it's called The Boy and the Heron, wasn't sure where it was going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's for that one, yeah. It turns into a typical thing. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's all very dream-like, a lot of these Ghibli movies though, they're all very much like, they don't make sense, and there's no way to explain them, so let's not even try, because if we started to do it, we would, you know, we couldn't be as fantastical and silly as we are. It all does feel very frivolous, and I think that's why I don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh good. Those were the two strange plot threads from the last season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not fussy about movies and TV shows generally, as long as it holds my attention I'll watch it. I'll watch fucking Storage Wars, and Antiques Roadshow, and god, you name it, right? I'll watch any old shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if I, and I kinda hate going to the cinema if I'm gonna, if it's not a movie that I know I'm gonna like, because I can't fucking pause it, it feels like I'm trapped in a torturous...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hell, do you know what I mean, at least with a movie that's on telly I can, I can just turn it off and go away and never come back to it, like a lot of things on Netflix that I've just never come back to. You know, cause they're like, just, just bad. There's so much crap on Netflix. There is so much crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me just preface this by saying that the Apprentice, I read a thing this week that said that the Apprentice casting team are deliberately recruiting people who have no desire to be an influencer. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, at bf52.com slash triforce you get a free case. If you're unsatisfied you can pause or cancel your subscription at any time. bf52.com forward slash triforce. DO IT NOW!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've come down on this before, because I guess I came down on the side of being a little uncomfortable with it. And I think, more so, if they were deciding to have a child that late. So I think there was like, wasn't it, there's a few people who were in their 70s having a kid with a 35 year old woman or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Rick Owens though, who's the big fashion guy, he married a lady who was like 20 years older than him. I think he's 60 and she's 80. Goodness. So, yea, like, that is a thing. It does happen, but not often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got married 20 years ago when he was 40 and she was 60, so I think again, it's a very different dynamic, I guess, at different stages of life. You know, the age gap is more pronounced, and it can only re- yeah, it's hard for someone to- we only live for like 80 years, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In order to go to marry someone half your age, there's a very small window where that's actually possible. You kinda have to be in your 60s. Yeah, I suppose. Well, for it not to be super gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's something I wouldn't be comfortable- I don't wanna have a kid when I'm 40, let alone when I'm 70. Do you know what I mean? I feel like there's a lot of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so complicated though, isn't it, because we, I've, my feelings vary day to day, and my, my, you know, sometimes I wake up and I'm feeling like shit, other days I wake up and I'm like really happy, you know, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think everyone makes decisions, you know, week to week, they're like, oh, I need to change everything, I need to change my haircut, oh god, let's have kids, we gotta do it, you know, all this. Do you know what I mean? Like, people make these decisions, and they have to kind of... It's so complex. It is. It is complex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Greg Dave- Greg Davis, can we have a little- Greg Wallace! Greg Wallace, sorry, can we have a little impression of Greg Wallace, just so people know who we're talking about? P-Flax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard because you feel, as a sympathetic person, you, I sometimes was very upset when, you know, my partner or some of my friends were getting, you know, venting at me about something that they'd, something had gone wrong for them. And I was, you know, I think at some points I was more upset than they were. Do you know what I mean? And I think this is a common thing on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, sometimes people are, or appear to be, or are very pissed off or frustrated about something, but telling you about it, both takes it off them a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And makes you hear about it for the first time. Exactly. And so, in a sense, like, they've had time to heal and share this, and they're not as bothered about it anymore, because time has gone by for them. But for you, this is a new offence. Yeah. And it's like, and you take everything so personally, because you love that person so much, or you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You care about that person, you don't want them to, that's a shit thing that they've experienced, and you might even be more annoyed about it because it might be one of your bugbears more than it is them, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so sometimes you can infect people. You can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I guess the difference between venting and trauma dumping is when you don't care about the other person who's hearing it. You know, I think that then again you're never gonna quite know how, you never know people well enough to, sometimes you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To gauge what you can tell them to not upset them, right? And you should vent, you should let it out and try and talk to people and share your feelings with your friends, because they want to hear you and help you, and don't be scared. I'm not trying to... I think trauma dumping is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously not- I'm not cool with that as a sort of- as if it's a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've got it here. Let's do, let's do a couple. Uh, the Supreme Court of Korea, I wonder if they're like, the French court's probably not. North or South? South Korea. Okay. Right. Have ruled that a man must serve a year and six months in prison after he refused the country's mandatory military service.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, have given its support for a national games strategy, uh, apparently the Scottish video game market contributes enough to the Scottish economy, uhm, 200 million pounds, that they are gonna be providing, they're gonna be funding games, so there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking hell. And then, in pop culture, we still don't know who Satoshi Nakamoto is. The inventor of Bitcoin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, again and again. And there's a trial going on right now in the UK High Court. Oh, this guy? Where there's this guy called Craig Wright, who's an Australian computer scientist. He's on trial because he claims that he is Satoshi Nakamoto. Big papa bitcoins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But as gamers, we always look for these things, and there's certainly the bandwagon effect of everyone saying that it's gonna go up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of them buying it makes it go up in the short term, but yeah, like, five years down the line, ten years down the line, unless you're gonna constantly be gambling away every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, how's everybody doing? Goodness, nice to hear your voice, Sips. Yeah, thanks so much. Guess what I'm doing right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sitting on the toilet. No, I'm ordering some teats for my, uh, for my baby's bottles. You like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I got to order some teats. She's round, uh, teats. Who are you going with? Tommy Tippy or someone? Nah, Philips. All the time, baby. Okay, okay. Philips Advent. 6M Plus Superflow. Yeah. Oh, are they the official one for the... Official sponsors of the 2015 Summer Olympics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all the athletes who get the good flow from their, from their milky mamas get their big muscles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's a long event, eh? Very. Jeez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find the most tiring thing about being like uhm, you know, doing an event or being out in public or whatever is that I gotta like suck my gut in a lot more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta suck it in, you know, like I got, I got, um, I got, you know, I got some street cred to maintain. Everybody thinks I've got a, you know, a bitch in six pack and I do underneath all the fat. It's down there somewhere, but you know, I gotta suck it in big time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably easier to just do, you know, like a two, three day event, you know, but like two solid weeks is, that's a lot. I think that would make anyone tired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never watched like, uh, Buffy or Angel or any of those, uh, any of those shows. I think I was not, maybe not the right demographic or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember when I was a teenager, uhm, a lot of people that I, uhm, I hung around with in high school used to drop everything to watch new episodes of, uh, Beverly Hills 90210 as well, which I was never, never a fan of either. Never a fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I remember like these, like some of the people I hung out with, they, they loved it. I think they had like older brothers and sisters or whatever who watched it as well. Maybe that was part of the appeal. I don't know. But uhm, yeah, I just remember it being sought after, you know? So it was a weird one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't even early 2000s, it was, uh, it was like early to mid 90s when it started, wasn't it? I'm sure it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's insane. It's fun watching it in order though. And you get like, you know, you're not waiting when it was, you know, when it was airing, it was prime time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you had to wait, there was a new episode every week on a Thursday night at nine o'clock or whatever. Um, but watching it this way, you can get through it a lot quicker and it's a lot more enjoyable. It's a bit like Seinfeld too, you know, you can rewatch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so like mine cave-ins and stuff that have just been long forgotten from a long time ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You make do with what you've got and sometimes that leads you down some very weird rabbit holes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a lot of like couch gaming with, uh, you know, like NES, Super NES, the PlayStation, first PlayStation when it came out. You didn't really think about it much then. It was just, that was the way it was. There wasn't an alternative. Nobody really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thought up a way for there to be an alternative or whatever. But, uh, I also had a PC and I had friends who had PCs as well and we did a lot of direct connect modem stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was so janky because it was over a phone line, so like, you know, you'd have a connection. We'd play Duke Nukem 3D, we'd play Doom, Doom 2, and Warcraft 2. Those were the games that we would play direct connect. But you'd be in the middle of playing and you're like building some barracks and then all of a sudden you'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You put up with it because you were a kid, but like if I was an adult and, uh, and that was happening, you know, somebody picking up the phone and wrecking the connection or whatever, it'd be, dude, just be annoying, right? Like annoying to the point where you're like, oh God, I don't know if I can really be bothered with this. Like I'll just go get a console or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and, and play these games, like I think part of the fun was that we were all together in somebody's basement, you know, stinking it up, playing Mario Party or whatever, you know, like nobody really thought like that, that was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was any alternative to that, you know, it was just that, that was just how it was kind of thing. I think that's how we thought about it anyway, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you're like a visionary, you know, maybe like you didn't realize it at the time, but you had these visions, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mid 90s, you know, Microsoft Live, Kali, like there was a whole bunch of services that you could connect to to play games, but you just had to have a good internet connection. Most people didn't because it was all dial-up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like, I think, I think some businesses had way better internet connections, you know, depending what the nature of their business was, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think things really sort of, uhm, transformed when, uh, when, when cable, uhm, internet came out. In North America for us it was cable. Cause all of a sudden it was faster and then all of a sudden services started popping up everywhere. Like Battle.net existed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, before that, there was just, I mean, Warcraft 2 shipped, there was no battle net at the time. Like there was the, there was the option to direct connect and play with somebody or to connect to like a service like Microsoft Live or whatever. But there was no, there was no baked in, uhm, you know, matchmaking service or lobby or anything like that. It just didn't exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The technology for actually playing against people remotely was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just depends on how much your phone bill you wanted to pay, I guess, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's dead, he died, didn't he? Oh, did he? Oh, thank god. Kinda recently, yeah. I think he died in jail, actually. Good riddance. He was quite ill. But uhm- Apparently this is gonna be a jinx part two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is something he holds dear to his heart, he knows all about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The flooding at the Yangtze river, I'm going to say like 30,000 people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we've got the, we've got the facts at our fingertips in this day and age. Just a quick search, you can answer any question you might have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do we have any specific beef with Jose Konseco? I just remember hearing recently that he was cancelled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pete Rose, you remember Pete Rose? I think he did a lot of cocaine. Wasn't he insane? Pete Rose went nuts. He went nuts. I used to have a Pete Rose hologram sticker in my Panini Major League Baseball sticker book when I was about 7 years old. I had Pete Rose, I had Daryl Strawberry up in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jose Kinseko. I remember really liking baseball at the time when I was younger. Some good baseballers. I used to really like the Toronto Blue Jays and they had an all-star team for a couple of years. They won a couple of World Series back to back. They had a great team and it was really exciting. Who was that? The Blue Jays. Toronto Blue Jays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Kelly Gruber and, uh, Joe Carter and, um, a bunch of other, a bunch of other greats at the time. And it was, uh, it was, it was great. I remember everybody loved it. Like I went out to visit my grandparents for the summer and the world series was on and they were, they were loving it, man. It was crazy. We were having like a hot dogs every night for dinner and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like if you find yourself yelling at the news you are not an ideal candidate for politics. I don't think anybody wants you to be in politics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, maybe go and uh, go and find something to do where you can get a grip on your life where you're not yelling at a television like a psycho and please do not enter the political arena because there's already enough


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a show on channel four about going on a bus trip, maybe it's a bit like that, you know? What is it called? What's it called? It's not four on a bus, I think it's four in a bed. That's the, uh, that's like the, uh, the, uh, the bed and breakfast, um, is it called coach trip? Coach trip, I think is the one, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can take any means to get to where they need to go, but they have to visit these places because they have to sort of check in. They're like checkpoints, right? So the, you know, you can't just go from like Vancouver straight to Calgary because it's too easy. You have to go from like Vancouver up to, you know, fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you, and however much time you get to the checkpoint before everyone else is how much time you have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a head start for the next one. So it's a place, so you get to the checkpoint and then it's a nice hotel. They get to wash, rest, whatever, because when they're traveling for days or weeks at a time to get to the checkpoints, they're on such a small budget. They're just like eating bread on a bus and sleeping on a bus and sleeping in hostels and, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I'm, uh, I'm currently monitoring the Epic Games public status for the Fortnite, uhm, services to come online because, uh, I'm under strict instructions from my son. There's a new season of Fortnite starting today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, dad, I've saved up all my V bucks for the battle pass. And can you please update the game so that when I get home from school, I don't have to sit there for an hour updating the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's a function button, uh, to, uh, change the, uh, output of the math. That's right. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So every time you go to have a shower, you gotta move a fuckin' seal. Do you know how big the thing's gonna get, Ricky?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But eventually if you had a fucking macro and you walked in the bathroom, you'd probably just fucking jump right out of that thing to get his macro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much? That's what I'm asking ya, I don't know. I gotta get it right. He must know because he's gonna bill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want that chicken sandwich. I wonder if fucking floppy would like a chicken sandwich. Don't be feeding the seal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man used to be a fish. Fucking whole planet was covered in water. That is true. That is true. Yeaah. So. What did you call the fish? I don't remember what it was called. What is this? Oh, these are gravy, I think. Want one? Yes, I fucking want one. Tasty. I haven't tried it yet though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but if you fucking kept the fish out of water long enough and then put it back in just before it died and then took it out again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, at least I have a pet and you don't, so. I don't want a fucking pet, Seagull.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they could sense the light from the depth of the water, you know, ones that were deeper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And ones that were closer, there was some kind of a thing, I remember. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they started to get these little puncture marks in their heads from the load and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a pretty good idea, actually. What do you call that? That's a good question. Catchy or Grave-up? What is it? Grave-up? Grave-up. Grave-up. That's awesome. That's what it is. You win. Or it could be called Cavey or Cavey or Catchy. Catchy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like you got a chick on your shoulder. A what? A chick on your shoulder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a chick on my shoulder. It's a chip. Like a lady or a little chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A chip. Yeaah. What the fuck would that even mean? A chip off the old block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't you take a little- I've never had any real food, just chips and- Take a swim in the ocean and go try to find a little pet seal. I can tell you right now, Floppy will be back in a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you went swimming there trying to find a floppy you found, the thing would fucking bite your nuts off, man. Guarantee ya. Or he might try to get his flipper in ya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck's wrong with fire ants? Serving the UK, man. Ants to bite you and it burns like fuck. Fire ants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at all, look I got all kinds of spicy boy bites on me. That's fucking stupid. Who's gonna say that? Nobody. Why do they feel like they're gonna fucking change the name of everything? Just fucking leave it as far as it's not that bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're called snow ants and they burnt you to fuck, I could understand it, but I mean fire ants sorta make sense. Spicy boys? It's fuckin' dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's a different story maybe. And they said something like, wow, this is spicy boys. That's probably where it came from. Drugs. You sound like Ricky right now. Well I'm fucked up like Ricky usually is, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this is a good one to be talking about while we're eating. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A pooping man sees Donald Trump's face in bathroom floor tiles. What the fuck are you talking about? What is wrong with people? What do you mean, sees the face?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was his image, Ricky. It looked exactly like him. It looked nothing like him, man.


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[Assistant] I ate it and then I went out and played ball hockey that day and I was ten times as good as I normally am.


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[Assistant] I didn't take a picture of it because it's back before there was cameras around. It just seems weird that if you saw that and you had that that you'd either keep it and sell it for...


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[Assistant] Oh, those fucking assholes. Yeah, I've read about that shit. A bunch of dicks. Buddy stood up, member, and fucking black guy stood up and he said,


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[Assistant] Oh look at that, they fit right over my glasses. You look fucked. Speaking of fucked, is it the food or my buzz on or is it just extra gravity down here?


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[Assistant] If we do Fluffy. Don't start fucking around. Give it a little test. Give it a little test. Fluffy will save us. Don't start fucking around or we go over and roll down the bank and then we wash away.


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[Assistant] This is a cool story. Cops find ten million dollars worth of cocaine inside a blinged out horse's head. A what? Some kind of blinged out horse's head. What's blinged out mean?


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[Assistant] Dia, Dia Monte encrusted sculpture of a horse's head. Diamond encrusted.


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[Assistant] And normally per year, they only fucking seize around 250 grams.


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[Assistant] It's awfully fuckin' bright here, boys. It is, man. We recorded in a... ...brightest spot. I don't wanna pick this place, pups.


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[Assistant] I didn't pick this area. You said you wanted to have a nice picnic. You said let's...


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[Assistant] Let's get a nice idyllic setting for the picnic under the tree. A nice who? Idyllic. That's what he said. What does that mean?


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[Assistant] Like nice, like you know. Nice, picturesque, kind of beautiful.


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[Assistant] Well it does, Ricky. It's like, picturesque means sort of like perfect. Beautiful picture. Beautiful picture. But there's lots of shitty pictures too. Right. So.


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[Assistant] You can't get all banged up and drink and drive, man. You can in park lots.


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[Assistant] Or in the woods. Yeah, fucking fix car in the woods. In the woods? We have to deal with wood cops?


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[Assistant] Big fucking radar trap in the middle of the woods? What are wood cops? That's what I mean, there probably isn't any. Forest rangers, you mean?


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[Assistant] If a forest ranger catches you wasting it in the woods, driving your car through the woods, he's gonna arrest you.


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[Assistant] Forest Rangers are, they don't fuck around, let me tell you. Oh, come on. I wouldn't- Bubs, there's no way a Forest Ranger would take me-


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[Assistant] Ripping around and then possibly threatening forest rangers with guns.


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[Assistant] Get to see how dumb people were back then. They didn't even have fucking power tools or anything.


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[Assistant] I think everybody's smarter than him now. Back then he was smart for that time.


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[Assistant] Well, that and everything else goes with it. Look at all the fucking computers they have now and televisions. Uhm. Yeah, but Ricky. Better beds.


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[Assistant] So who do we have, the only sponsor we have right now is Leckerman's. And the other one.


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[Assistant] So we're gonna have to do some more drugs. Ricky, it's two o'clock in the afternoon. Is that bad or good?


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[Assistant] You get her fucking lined up, it's got a thing, you get her lined up with North and then the Shadow cast. Oh fuck. Somebody breaking into Ronnie's car. The Shadow.


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[Assistant] Once you get her pointed at the north, and the thing's pointing up, then as the sun moves, it casts a shadow at the different times of day, and you learn how to read it. Okay. Do you know how to read it? Ah, yes, I know how to read a fucking sundog. Bullshit. I do?


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[Assistant] So line her up there, big wheeler. Okay, so that's pointing north, right? Yep. There's the sun, it's casting a shadow. I would predict it is around with that and the triangulation.


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[Assistant] If that's north, which I don't, I'd say it's around somewhere between 2.30 and 3.30 in the afternoon.


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[Assistant] Does it come in like a guy's cooler or just ladies? That is a guy's cooler. Bullshit. It's a dain-


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[Assistant] That's a fucking purse cooler. That's not a purr, this is a good drink. Ricky.


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[Assistant] Let's say goodbye then, let's say goodbye. I'm not even saying goodbye. No. Fuck it.


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[Assistant] Join us next week when... I don't know what happens. Because we don't plan ahead.


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[Assistant] Today is July 1st. Happy Canada Day everybody! Woo! Hope you're as fucked as we are.


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[Assistant] Buffs, you're drunk. I am, I'm fucking right out of here. Cheers, buddy. And I'm not ashamed to say it because it's the birthday of Canada, greatest country in the world. Yeah, it's definitely one of them.


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[Assistant] Fuckin' food pill meat log.


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[Assistant] Spicy, drippy, greasy, full of like bits of vegetables and shit that she stores away down there. It's always stuffed full of meat. Bon appetit, bud.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, that's just a fact. You don't know what my mother's privates look like, buddy. It's a fact that your mother was the biggest whore in Sunnyvale.


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[Assistant] What is Canada Day? I've heard a lot of different reasons. It was the holiday, it was Canada Man. It celebrates him, is that right? Canada Man? Superhero. Oh my fuck, Ricky.


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[Assistant] He was a superhero over in the English land.


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[Assistant] Tommy Cousteau? Tommy Cousteau. I don't know who Tommy Cousteau is.


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[Assistant] You start rumors. Rootsin' around the taint area. John A. Macdonald. Never.


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[Assistant] There's also a prison for polar bears who break into people's homes for food. A prison for polar bears. That's what I'm saying, man. I had no idea. Frankie, where did you get that?


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[Assistant] No cows in Canada are given artificial hormones.


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[Assistant] For milk production. Fuckin' good for Canada. That's awesome. I know, I didn't know that.


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[Assistant] How do you make one? How do you make a hormone? You eat her box. No.


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[Assistant] Ah, and then brackets, international.


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[Assistant] They changed the fucking hospital room to put a border around it so that she could be born Dutch citizen.


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[Assistant] After I dissed the fuck out of them and was pissed off, I didn't know this part. Every year after that, the fucking...


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[Assistant] What's better than a rose on your piano? Tulips on your organ.


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[Assistant] Got it buddy. He's on this one right here. That's funny. Yeah.