[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's basically- So I guess that, just to circle back, that is why it's kind of like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What'd you say it was gonna be? How long? Yea, I would say a couple weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that's a good shirt that Blake would own that says like, I'm bi, B-U-Y, I'm bi-sexual. Like a gas station shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that- Here we go. Bisexual. If you buy me something- This is- This is bisexual, B-U-Y. If you buy me something, I get sexual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've never been offered food and been like, nah. Yeah, I always thought about the, the chocolate covered. There's no food that turns you on. Remember in the nineties, it was all chocolate covered strawberries or like an aphrodisiac.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I don't know if those are- It's a little too crazy for me. The ones that have like the marshmallows on the apple with the toffee and the nuts and the like other- I'm like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Little water ball. Caramel and caramel with nuts, and I think I'm done. I don't know if anybody slide into Blake's DMs with suggestions of, uhm, other sorts of taffy apples that I should be into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almonds might be like a little too, uhm. Dense? Like bitter? Like bitter? Cause then it's like a sour apple and a bitter. But you're getting buff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so is this tied into, uhm, all the stuff, they think? Or they're just like, let's see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So no pre-workout, you're just doing like a cup or two of coffee a day that they, that we know about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're not on set or anything where you've got any sort of expectations to bring it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know what? Daddy. They're good like that. They're like a- it's like a weighted blanket where you're like, you just put them on and you're like, this is f- Yeah, it's- it's ALF.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, some people leave, but the thing is that like, people leave them in there the whole night because they don't need to go get them, so it just shakes them back to sleep. So sleeping the whole night, the back of their heads get flat. We never turn it on. For real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see your neighbors, just to say what's up to your neighbors and be like, look, this is Yoda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We used to do, we would dress up as Ghostbusters and whatever baby we had at the time would be a Slimer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember that was my only, my only thing playing people in basketball was that I just never got tired. Yeah. Because of swimming or whatever and people would get gassed and I'd be like getting my own rebound brick after brick after brick. But you saw me shooting at a Teebus house, I'm okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We played a lot of, uh, would we play Knockout at Wargaholics? Oh yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it doesn't smell after that, yea. Wait, how do you guys feel about, you know how some people play where you can like, if you're holding the ball, you can bump somebody else's ball out in a way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Do you guys play with those rules? That's why it's called knockout. It's called knockout for that exact reason. Yeah, you have to bump. What the fuck are you guys talking about? It's called knockout because you knock someone out if you make your basket before the person before you. You knock them out of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hang on, Kyle? Kyle? Let me call Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Where am I? I'm part of the podcast. Pickle out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's for sure called knockout because you knock people out. But I guess I just- I don't- I don't- I don't know if I love the being able to hit the ball. It just seems like so easy to be like, alright, I'm just gonna fucking blast someone's ball the fuck out of here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the rule where you can throw the ball at the other ball. Yes, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like that you can hold onto it and like go boom and like knock it the fuck out of there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like I said, I'm probably not good at basketball. I cannot hit a baseball, for sure. Uhm, I can throw a football pretty well. I can catch pretty well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I will say, so on set, my stand in Gil, who was an older man, uh, I don't know, he was 10 years older than us. Yea, it made a lot of sense. Maybe 15 years old? Made a lot of sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, he's been in a few episodes, but he played semi-pro football in like the 80s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. He might have showed up at camp. I don't know. I don't think he ever played pro. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he was a quarterback, and he's probably a little bit taller than me, and just, like... Dude, cock diesel. It's like, cock diesel. And when he throws a football, played a football on set a few times, it was just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just moved in a different way where you go, oh, like, I'm throwing how I throw, but when you throw it it just zips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you guys know the whole Usain Bolt thing, though. What's up with that? They're going off of a time that Usain Bolt did at like a fucking NFL party in gym shoes after he retired from running. Oh, okay. So it's not a what? He was like, I'll try it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a thing they had set up for people to be like, how fast can you run a 40 in? And they were like, dude, come on. He was like, alright. And just like winged it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the cold freeze thing? Or what's it called? Where they like freeze the fat off? Can we do that together? Holding hands?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this a, uh, smash the like button situation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm using Rocket Money to monitor my credit score because I want to make sure that when I apply for the loan for a private jet, if that's how that works, uhm, that they can help me have good credit by then. So, so far it's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, without ever having actually been on a private jet, that everyone should experience that at least once in their life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I hope I can and I also hope you guys can. So you guys can join me by going to rocketmoney.com slash bobby or clicking the link in the description to start for free today. I hope that by the next time you see an interview of mine you have some money saved. I hope I do too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's start learning how to budget together because I don't know how and I'm gonna learn. And now without further ado, let's get back to offset roasting me. I like your shoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guarantee I didn't and when we play this back, when we play this back, you're not gonna hear that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a Bible verse. It's the tattoo on your, everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How'd you get them in your possession? They gave them to you as a gift?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about your earrings? Those look expensive. Are they real diamonds or are they fake?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, my necklace. Yeaah. I just got it. Uhm, I saw it on TikTok on this girl. She worked at a jewelry shop. And I said, can I buy that from your shop?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I tried to valet my car and I was going to be on time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to valet my car. I pulled up at 6.55. I would have got here on time, you said 7. And they were like, where's the card to your car? You don't have to drive a car, so you probably don't even know how they work very much, but you, with like a Tesla, you give a card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I breastfeed my children. Do you want to get them drunk? Is that what you're trying to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You actually do. Again, I will say if you're watching this, please go back to the beginning. Help me out here. And maybe somebody at the end of this video can put together a little comment with all the timestamps that you do that. So go ahead. You said you're into fashion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when I googled you, it was like some fun facts about you. And one of the facts are you going to, yeah, was that you like to walk out of interviews.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well the comment section will tell me later if that was what, what you said it was. Was that family, you guys?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was something different. You're making a lot of signs right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And nowadays, yes. It wasn't up until now. Now it's really lucrative. It's a big word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because if you listen- Obviously you don't think my vocabulary can- No, because if you listened, I had trouble- I listened. I had trouble saying it back, so I was commenting on myself. But you're projecting your own insecurity right now. You're insecure about using big words. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I just peep, I just peep gang. Don't, don't project. Know what that means? I don't know what that means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are? Can you speak in Spanish right now? I can. Go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh good job. As a matter of fact I did. I did, I said good job. And then you said no. No is in Spanish too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was trying to understand, you don't have to be so mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm moving to LA soon and I wanted our kids- Who said I live here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your person from your team just said you did actually, so don't do that to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, if you don't want to tell me where you live, that's fine. I don't know what that means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, but you said you couldn't Google me, so you better pull up TikTok.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you didn't get me anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not trying to calculate your bag. You could ask me what was your last brand deal and I would have answered that. How do you make money? And I would have answered that. Well, it's like public information. I'm just asking you how you make money. I don't think that's something you should be embarrassed about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good job. Look at this, a conversation and you're answering my questions and we're getting somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now he's saying words really fast and it confuses me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, call her daddy, girl. I read an article.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think she was worth like a hundred million dollars or something. I think she signed a deal for that much. I'm not sure actually what number now cause the way you're looking at me makes me doubt that that's how much it was, but I do think that maybe she did that. Someone will have to fact check me on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I do drink it, but not a shot. That's, that's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So would you get drunk if you drank that right now? Not when it's to the roof. Actually, how many shots of alcohol make you drunk? I feel like you're, that's a, you're very- Me? Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you should, you're not gonna be famous on the moon, so maybe stay where you're famous. Special, special treatment here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the moon, it's not some, like, different galaxy. Do you think there's aliens on the moon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are you gonna save up $750 million and go to the moon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty cool. I'm proud of you. I hope when I'm 31, I have that much money. I'm not gonna spend it going to the moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the best part of every TikTok is the comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, they're like, whiter than a piece of paper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, great, thank you for asking. How does it feel to have a music career?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There ain't nobody, then there ain't nobody fucking dead. Understand me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should've killed himself three years ago. Saved us a lot of trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what that means. Big Dwayne energy. You can see the new commercial on Zoa's Instagram or YouTube channels. You have just got to check this out. They really went there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I can't eat a salad without croutons. Fuck that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for this year. We have to defend our crown. It starts today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, I would love to dust off a little, a little buzz ball action. Maybe we buzz off in honor of, uh, in honor, in honor. Either way. Adam?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what's going on? You need a buzz ball rub that on. Yeah, come on, here we go. It might be the fact that I'm not drinking enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is fucked. What does a burning eye smell like? Does it smell like burning hair?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, probably. I think that was, that was more a participation award for us. The fact that we made the trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we did have a good time. I, I love spending time in Austin. That was a blast. I love Austin, dude. Yeah, we had a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, the Kelsey Brothers. They won the best podcast of the year and they were not there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, now I wish we would have got him to, uh, chant more stuff, like. I thought you guys were saying Todd Glass, and I was like, I guess he's there. Todd Glass, yea, Todd Glass. If he doesn't have a pod, he should start one, cause he's a funny Canadian. Todd Glass is very funny. Todd Glass? Pod, that's pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it just won't shut up, it's crazy. But very nice, very nice things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, we would have done that. We, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's talking of the Paul Shears in the room, the she-shays. Paul Shears, taller than you think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, did you just say it was like a movie? Okay. That's weird. Okay. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As long as I make it to the 15th, I'm good, baby. I think it will be kind, maybe kind of a good fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo, honestly, I don't think I've ever won anything until that moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever wanted anything in your life?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time I've ever thrown craps, it bounces out. Do they call it a tub?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they just have to pry, they just cut your hand off at the wrist and give it to him and they're like, look at what he was looking at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go take a drive, even though I'm outta here. No, I can't eat a salad without croutons. Fuck that. I guess so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna be a while. You had to go to the event to get one, so I'm sure you're gonna be getting one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Makes the sandwich the sandwich. Donny D on the backup. Drug freeze to put the crack up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I totally, absolutely, completely froze. I turned in episode two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I gave it to Tom and he read it and then he called me in for a notes meeting and he says, I have one change for you. I have one change. In the beginning, you have them singing for a little bit. Take out the singing. I'm like, okay, what's next? He said, that's it. You want to write another one? And I go, uh, okay. How about the concentration camp episode? And I go, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you know, you just had me do the D-Day episode two years after Saving Private Ryan, and now you want me to do the Schindler's List episode five years after Schindler's List. No pressure, but okay, alright, great. I went home and totally panicked, totally froze, because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it was Tom Hanks, Steven Spielberg. It was the responsibility that I spoke about in episode two about Dick Winters and getting it right for those men. Now I had to get it right for not just those men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the holocaust! I've just gone from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sixty to a hundred in oh my god, how am I gonna do this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. And I quickly found out why. So you would call one of the men and you would say, okay, so I'm writing this episode when you go into Germany and you're by Dachau and you go to Landsberg. So tell me about the concentration camp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there'd be this long silence. Oh, I can't talk about that. I won't talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, here were men who what I've now known for a year, maybe longer, who had told me their worst, most terrible stories, the most awful experiences in their life. I mean, I can still remember Malarkey crying in front of me as he's telling me about somebody dying right next to him and what it meant to him. And you would ask them, tell me about that. Oh, I can't talk about that. I won't talk about that. To a man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and the exception was of course Dick Winters. I called him up and we talked about it for many, many hours, many conversations. And he wanted me to get it right, just like he wanted me to get episode two right. He wanted me to get this right because it's the late nineties and Holocaust denialism was just starting to sort of become a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, he was furious by these Holocaust deniers. Just furious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is a leader, and that's part of being a leader is seeing a larger context than other men. Having a broader vision. And so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe he saw the greater good in bringing these memories up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sharing them with me, whatever the psychological or difficulty he might have in that retelling of the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a longer cut of this episode, with about five more minutes in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was all concentration camp stuff, where they saw even more horrible things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And HBO in the end, I think it was like one of the few edits that HBO asked for. Once we turned in an episode, it was kind of done because Tom had done it and Tom loved it, then it was done. This was one of the very few times where they said, you know, we love this episode, but it's just one step too heavy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was very disappointed at the time that they had done that. But now I think it's perfect and I think they were right. There is a point where you turn off your audience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one was a little more imagination than episode two. In some ways it was the polar opposite of episode two. Their experience was what it was. So then it was about revealing the experience. And so I talked more to Dick about that and he told me the story of him, Dick Winters, going into a German


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And as he did that, he felt these eyes on him and he turned around and there was this German widow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Winters had this moment of feeling like he had done something horrible. He had barged into this woman's house and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had this moment of reflection in humanity and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm thinking that maybe we want to make Nixon a big character, and I'm thinking he's having his own issues right at this point in the war and his personal life, and what do you think if I took that story, Dick, and gave it to Nixon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And have that be kind of the spine of the story is Nixon's complex reactions to this part of the war and why is he there and all of these feelings and Dick was thrilled with that idea. And so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know a ton about what Nixon was really, I mean, I knew his marriage had fallen apart at that point, I knew he was drinking too much at that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that first half of the episode is pretty much just me trying to set up a world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the guys are getting more comfortable, they see in the Germans themselves, guy after guy said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the surface, to be so much like America's. Very middle class, in a way that England and France weren't. And yet, they did this thing. So I wanted to capture that idea through Nixon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and I didn't know that when I wrote the episode because so few of them would talk to me about it at all. And really just dick did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't have any other sources and Dick remembered it that they were there on the first day. And I would imagine that's because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go into a concentration camp and there were still people there. That was definitely true. There were still people when Dick and the 101st were there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they saw the victims, and they saw the bodies. They saw everything we show them seeing. They just didn't see it before anybody else, it turns out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I would argue that the fact that it was so awful and so undescribable and so horrible that I forgive these guys if they remember it, that they were there a day earlier than they were there. That they can remember it at all is amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's why he asked to direct this episode, in fact. Frankles had died, and the people that were really intimately close, not just cousins of cousins, he did an amazing job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That first shot is just poetic, that five minute shot or whatever it is. And the way he ends it with the violin case closing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a beautiful piece of direction all the way around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, that was the purpose of the episode. I mean, you just nailed it exactly. Because war does make everybody do horrible things. And it is a horrible, horrible thing to make our boys do these things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And go to these places. And they did it at tremendous personal sacrifice. And that personal sacrifice was starting to add up into bad behavior and disillusionment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Suddenly, they see why they're there, why they fight. This episode is about many things. It's about culture, it's about Beethoven, but it's also about evil and bad behavior and degrees of those things. There are degrees of bad behavior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they don't really succeed. Then there's Spears stealing the stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was actually another scene of them taking people out of their houses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, just family members, the Americans are saying, well we're gonna fucking sleep here tonight, you're out. And then Nixon breaking in to try to get alcohol and then trying to break into that other woman's house. And so it was about moral grades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It all became about humanity and part of the argument that the first half is making is a little bit of a sucker punch because it's saying you can have that judgement but then you have to understand that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That that is what it takes to end something like this. These guys had to do everything they could in order to destroy this terrible, terrible evil. And once they were there and saw it, everything becomes immaterial other than this event.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's interesting and I think I'm very proud of is when you watch Schindler's List, you know you're gonna be watching something about the Holocaust. When you turn on Band of Brothers, you're watching wonderful stories of these incredible heroes doing these amazing bigger than life true things. And that's what drew you in. And then all of a sudden,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you don't know what's gonna happen in the episode. I mean, that's one of the things I love about the episode. That first half hour, 35 minutes, whatever it is, you have no idea what they're about to find. And so as an audience member, you share their shock because you weren't expecting it any more than they were expecting it. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a similar experience to our characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you've been lulled into this comfort zone of Germany's just lovely, and everybody's going fine, and everybody's gonna live. Hopefully nothing bad happens to these guys cause I really went, whoa, what just happened? Where are they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And suddenly you're taking down a very intense emotional road that really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Culminates in Ross McCall's performance of Leibgott in the concentration camp scene. Understanding exactly what has happened and what he's just witnessed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ross McCall's face as an actor in that sequence is really profound and that's where it all comes together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And is really one of the highlights of the show in my humble opinion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes me really, really proud. I think if I ever do anything in my life, it will never compare to episode 9 of Band of Brothers and will not have a larger impact on real people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's what's so amazing about band is that it really has an impact on people and can change their lives. I'm working on a project right now that has me living in Windsor, England and I was at my pub that's across the street.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, of course I can. It's The Two Brewers, owned by Robert Gillespie, and it's maybe the greatest pub in England. Robert Gillespie from Primal Scream. No, Robert Gillespie, the owner of The Two Brewers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, you know, and you're in a pub and people talk, you know, I have an American accent, why are you in London? Or why are you in Windsor? Oh, I'm making a show. Oh, what have you done? Band of brothers. Oh my God, you made, and this guy was a veteran from Iraq and from Afghanistan, a Brit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was there with his wife and their newborn eight week old baby. So still a younger guy. And he starts almost crying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Telling me how Band of Brothers got him through his PTSD.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, exactly. You know, all roads lead to winters in Band of Brothers. They really do, either directly or indirectly. Because he was the leader and he took these men on this journey and it was all because of Dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he remained their leader, he was their protector in their older years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this case, telling the story of Easy Company was something that was really important to him. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Telling this part of the story of Easy Company is really important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I know why I am here. All the sacrifice we've seen for the last 8 hours of television, but in their life, 18, 19, 20 months, has a reason. All that death, all that suffering, Hall dying in episode 2, all the other deaths. They had purpose.


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[Assistant] And once I understood that's what Dick


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[Assistant] Was talking about that we had to write the episode about that.


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[Assistant] Wow. I don't. Wow. I really don't. I mean, sort of what I was just talking about. How it continues to affect people. And I don't think that was our...


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[Assistant] Intention, I mean, it wasn't the short term, but nobody thought, I mean, we weren't even sure people were gonna like it when it came out.


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[Assistant] There were real concerns among some of us, myself included, that we were too scatterbrained. This episode was about that, this episode was about that. All the writers thought having the interviews in the beginning of the show and the end of the show were a terrible idea. We thought it was a terrible idea that it would only make


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stuff that we wrote looked like reenactors. Tom Hanks said, no, no, no, we're having those interviews, man. We are having those interviews. And guess who was right? And guess who was wrong? I'd be on the wrong part. Tom was 100% right. So we didn't even think that would work.


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[Assistant] So the fact that 20 years later, I can sit at a pub and somebody can...


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[Assistant] Tell me how it got him through PTSD just, you know, a year or two ago.


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[Assistant] It's really a surprise. It's really a surprise. It was not expected.


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[Assistant] There were some doggies from the 79th Infantry, but they left in a hurry.


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[Assistant] I think there was something, I mean to be frank, probably just a bit stiff about me. I was probably a bit old fashioned and a bit stiff and a bit uncool.


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[Assistant] I thought I had a memory of you doing it like for a talent show, but you never busted that out like in front of a crowd of people, right?


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[Assistant] Yeah. If you, if it was like a tarp, it would be like falling into a pool that has like a cover and you would immediately drown.


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[Assistant] Well, would, like, someone shouted, like, you could choke on a whole chicken, you don't chew your food.


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[Assistant] Oh, I thought maybe they CGI'd it out.


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[Assistant] We turn the crowd. So, do you remember the rap by any chance?


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[Assistant] Awww. I was about to get freakin' hyped, dude.


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[Assistant] Yeah, or just, I thought you were gonna say you were gonna just get a sick ass grill that says like, pay me or some shit.


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[Assistant] Okay, that's good. Damn, that's crazy, dude.


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[Assistant] I would say the ultimate partnership betrayal would be like if you guys filmed me taking a shit and I didn't know.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I don't know, I feel like if you got some of that, like, Halloween spray paint for your hair and just did my shit all gray, I'd be a pretty cool naked grandma.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I don't know how fat I am.


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[Assistant] Junior High with a beard? No, just like... There was, there was one dude in Junior High. Hang on, let me just close my eyes and remember. Yea, remember. Go ahead. Just, just like, uh, lot of pubes.


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[Assistant] This has gotta be the dumbest website ever. Liquor.com. Yea.


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[Assistant] Hold on, wait, but I do have a question. Sorry, he's yelling at me. Is this the best Christmas song ever?


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[Assistant] Yeah, if you, if you are doing the meet and greet, I'll sell that shit to you for 15 bucks.


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[Assistant] And then in the number four spot, it's Say Fuck It.


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[Assistant] Uh, I thought when you do cocaine, I've only done it once on New Years.


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[Assistant] The, the fifth, uh, most listened to song is called


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[Assistant] Say fuck it! Yeah. Pornostar.


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[Assistant] Should I give him points for that? No, we can beat that. We can beat that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, wait, does your wife get a say in the way your son wipes his ass?


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[Assistant] Oh, see, that's fuckin' fire, dude. Right. That's good content right there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, something like that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was definitely pushing boundaries, and like, I think we actually put it in the show, the, the line, like I was like, Mommy, your mom's acting like such a bitch!


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[Assistant] Exactly. I appreciate that. I worked hard on that movie. I really did. Good job, Kyle. Yup. Thank you. Thank you.


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[Assistant] I just saw pictures from when we shot the peyote episode and I just was thinking about how cool those sets were that we built. Any of the drug tripping shit was like...


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[Assistant] There you go. Blakey? I'm gonna miss you guys.


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[Assistant] And I wanna go back, I'd love to go back to Sundance this year actually.


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[Assistant] I know you don't want to think about this kind of stuff, but where are those planes landing? Utah! Hopefully they're not in Iowa! Utah!


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[Assistant] That's like Summer of Sam, dude. The dogs help to do that shit. It's like. That's uh, my dog was so old, I remember my, my dog's like. Tiana. Yeah, Tiana. Tiana would just like walk around and not even walk to stand there all day.


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[Assistant] Uhm, that was an accident, I'll be honest. I threw it as hard as I could, I maybe was, yea, and then it just hit the light.


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[Assistant] Am I, is it in Vallejo? It's in Vallejo, I know that. Okay.


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[Assistant] Literally, like, dressed up with the sickle and everything. Yeaah. And say like, uuuh.


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[Assistant] Well no. What? Cause you think, cause then you think dishwater.


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[Assistant] Hey, Adam's a bad boy now, I bet he can seawalk. Right.


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[Assistant] That was my favorite dance when they go, cause it's like the only one you can do while sitting. So.


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[Assistant] Uh, I didn't give a lot of rides. It was a lot of like, people wanted to, uh, take me to class. Because we gotta leave like five minutes early. Uh, yeaah. Right, right.


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[Assistant] Blake, I'll admit it, that story fucking sucks, dude.


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[Assistant] Wait a minute. We are, we are, we're finding on this, uh, on this podcast tour that we're like talking way more than we've talked in years. And it's great. And it's great. Uh, don't touch me. Okay. And I forgot the rule.


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[Assistant] No, I, I was, I forget what I was doing. I was having a totally normal day and I drive, and this guy just like was honking at me and I fucking flipped. And I get out of my car and I'm like, you wanna come?


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[Assistant] And then everyone's like, ah, I don't want to get into all this, this guy's a fucking little wolverine I'm gonna have to deal with. Yea, the badger king. Little honey badger.


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[Assistant] When I scream that at him, I'm still like fuming that he was able to punk me back into my car. And then he goes, Hey man, you just gotta chill out. Oh my god. I'm a fan.


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[Assistant] Uh, have you guys had any road rage or, um, psychopathic behavior? Well, Ders is probably the scariest. He's like, I've killed a cat or something insane. It was like, you guys have choked out a squirrel before, right?


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[Assistant] See what I like about your rage, cause usually my rage is to one person specific. Oh my god. That gave me the tiniest slight. Right. Not even that big of a deal, like a honk and I'm like. Right.


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[Assistant] Wait, three times you've been hit? Three times. Personally. I'm gonna back over this fucker. Personally. Number two.


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[Assistant] I was reversed into once. Okay. And that wasn't that big of a deal. Right. But I did scrape up my arms. And then I was hit by a, uh, a car while on my bike. Didn't fall off my bike, dude.


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[Assistant] Yes, I was by the beach and a car pulled out and there was sand there and it clipped me and I had my headphones in, uh.


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[Assistant] Well dude, that's not easier, that's just more badass.


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[Assistant] I was never good at rollerblading. Mostly I just did it because I couldn't physically skateboard.


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[Assistant] They should, I mean, should we allow them to have pets?


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[Assistant] But I've never been out at a concert or a theater performance and I've just been like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, a couple years back, they put us in the Hall of Fame. And, uh, and then I told the president, I was like, ah, this is crazy because I didn't even graduate. And he goes, shut the fuck up.


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[Assistant] So, uh, crowd singles might contain a choking hazard. Well, this is a dumb one because, uh, I mean, you deserve to die.


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[Assistant] Have you ever pissed in the sink with a girl in the house? Yes, I'm married, yes.


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[Assistant] Derrrrs! And I'm like, that's my friend. And then for me...


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[Assistant] And he goes, here's my number, call me, I'll get you in contact with the girl that's putting the whole thing together. It's gonna be sick. He was naming all the other people that are gonna be there. I'm like, this is crazy. This is gonna be so fun. He did not respond to me.


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[Assistant] I remember we were on the car and we were, uh, next to this like little bluff and, uh, we kept being like, dude, check your shoes. Someone stepped in human shit. Right, there was an odor. That is human shit. And we're keeping like, it's not me. No, it must be this. And then we're blaming like crew guys. We're like, dude, I don't think he wore deodorant. Right.


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause my whole thing would be like, you guys would be like smoking weed and you'd be like, you wanna hit? And I'd be like, nah, I'm cool. And then you guys would go to work.


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[Assistant] You know, I'm one of those people who's, uh, A's, Niners fan, so... Ohhhh! Woah.


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[Assistant] He's like, again? He's like, yeah man, I went, I just went, there's some shit, I gotta go poo again.


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[Assistant] I have a few epic giveaways from my personal collection. Uhm.


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[Assistant] That's exactly what it is. I think it's just what it is.


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[Assistant] I'll be right back. I'll be right back.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, we're going to have an education hour.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. Oh, your left side is definitely weaker than your right side.


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[Assistant] I can't believe he hasn't accidentally shown up like butt naked yet. That would be- Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Mammary? Mammar? Mammarologist? Mammalian?


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[Assistant] Wait, are you? Do you have paint?


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[Assistant] Yeah, have you ever had a stable? Kyle, great question. Great question.


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[Assistant] Damn, that gets, that gets your boy. That gets your boy going.


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[Assistant] Remember the movie The Cell? Well, remember when Miguel, remember when Miguel fucking leg dropped that girl at his concert? It was epic. Yeah, yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, look at this shit. Look at this. Dude, this shit is insane.


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[Assistant] Oh, Beetlejuice is so good. So glad there's not a sequel yet, but there will be.


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[Assistant] Handsome. Sexy? You don't think he's sexy? No, no, no, no. You haven't seen his pants.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we're doctors. We're doctors in humanology.


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[Assistant] I'm used to seeing, yeaah, I'm used to seeing like seven hooks in the back. This dude just has like two in his shoulders.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's people laying like horizontal and like they have the hooks in their back. This dude's fully vertical.


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[Assistant] Well, Adam's saying a sex, a populated sex dungeon is not just a sex dungeon. We're talking like a sex, like a fuckfest.


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[Assistant] Dude, it's about, it's all about finding that first batch.


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[Assistant] Well, Kyle, Kyle, I think, yea Kyle really knew exactly what to do.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's the ti- I think that that's the Tiger Woods. It's like he would like get really like into a zone where he-


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[Assistant] Safe kinks. Well, yeah, safe kinks. I don't know, man. Sometimes the more dangerous, the better.


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[Assistant] Some people need to die. That's what they have to do. They have to die.


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[Assistant] That's, that's sad, that, I don't like that, but if you like-


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[Assistant] All right. Is it, is that person shitting on your chest and you want that? Is that good? And you, and you want that, right? And you want them to piss in your mouth. You want to drink the pee and you can breathe while he's, and you can breathe. Okay. Carry on. And you can breathe all that.


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[Assistant] The two girls, one cup, you, you, you signed up for that.


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[Assistant] Oh my gosh, American Graffiti. Dude, he was like a huge, he was a-


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[Assistant] Do you guys remember your favorite most best bust? Do you have one in mind? Oh god, this is crass.


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[Assistant] Dave Chappelle is notoriously great at crumping, I think.


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[Assistant] Uh, for sure, yeaah. Everybody, you're gonna wanna watch the livestream for this. Yeaah, you had to tune in to see Adam Crump. Uh, but I thought Crumpy, cause remember they were like Crump clowns? Do you guys remember that? That shit was kinda cool. Then I was like, okay, this has gotta hook. Your definition of cool.


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[Assistant] I remember really thinking the prompt clowns were really awesome and I still do. Like, if you got...


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[Assistant] I cannot go to WME and tell them you went out like this.


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[Assistant] They smell like herbal essence. My god, are you?


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[Assistant] Yeaah, he did the little, the little double album. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] As long as there's seven of them. Hang in there, brother. Yeah, hang in there.


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[Assistant] Hell yeaah. Hell yeaah. Dude, that's all I can do now. You might get to smoke crack with Kyle in the parking lot.


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[Assistant] But like, by the way, I went to the, uhm. My bro just fucking took a handful of Gappa Penten. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Dude, there's- What the fuck is Mitchum?


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[Assistant] Yeah, you fucking derailed us. Holy shit. Yeah, damn. Yeah.


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[Assistant] TII Nation live, baby. The nation showing up strong.


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[Assistant] As you can tell, I'm an obese man now. I'm an obese man.


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[Assistant] I feel like I would be, I haven't gotten in a lot of fights, but I feel like if it was me vs. John Denver to the death.


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[Assistant] Loose was still loose in 03. They don't like monkey bone and bedazzled? They can fuck off.


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[Assistant] Uh, yea, for anybody who watches our podcast on YouTube. Please like and subscribe. Yes. Please.


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[Assistant] I guess there was a bonus shot of, uh, Isaac at the beginning of the last YouTube video.


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[Assistant] We do have to shout out our manager, Isaac. We don't have to give him flowers. We don't do that anymore, but we do have to say thank you for the, for setting up our, our show, our live show. It went great.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, for sure. Do you guys watch any of those real estate like, uhm...


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[Assistant] Of course. Reality shows? Are they good? I've never, I've never tapped in.


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[Assistant] She is! Whoa! It's the American MCU. That's kinda cool.


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[Assistant] Gotta get out and walk. At least walk. That's half the fun is to not move and just eat. That sounds so fun to me. Yep. That sounds really fun.


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[Assistant] Remember Bedazzled? That movie rocked, dude. Elizabeth Hurley is the devil, right? Yeah, dude.


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[Assistant] Yes, it's fucking, you're exactly right, the font on it is fucking legend.


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[Assistant] Well Monkey Bone, isn't that about him going to like hell? They're both like demonic. Maybe that's why he didn't have a career. I might, I feel like I'm doing this.


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[Assistant] No, I heard, I think it's like a real, um, like conspiracy theory. Like, evidently he outed some powerful person on like maybe abusing him or something.


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[Assistant] Stars are just like us, not stars are just like US.


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[Assistant] Uh oh, here we go. This looks serious. This looks serious.


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[Assistant] That's not what you call it.


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[Assistant] I'm just saying, wasn't- you did. Wha- me? You said you-


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[Assistant] We- we stu- we still have something very similar that's maybe even more prevalent. What about like the- the nut tap? You know how like that's like a funny thing now? Like, ooh, you tap- you tap the nuts, you go pshhh. I don't think it's funny.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I think it's the fact that maybe, you know, for a while, males didn't know how to show emotion towards each other, so it comes out in ways where you- What do you mean? You and your boys used to show emotion all the time!


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[Assistant] Like you watch TV shows together, hold each other, like cuddle, that's fine.


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[Assistant] Does it have the seats? Looking back, 1200 is a steal. And as- imagine- Does it have the seats that move and shit? Is it 4D? Yeah. And that's- Is it smelly?


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[Assistant] They had to cancel their flights. They're like, we're, we're clapping.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, you are, you are... Yeaah, they don't like it. Yeaah. That's a DUI. That is a DUI.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, okay, okay. This is a very incriminating pot. Uh, yeah. Oh, he's in character.


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[Assistant] I don't think it's encouraged to be driving and smoking, that is.


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[Assistant] We have, you guys talked about how slow I am and how I get lost and shit, but fuck off.


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[Assistant] I also am like flexing on you like these are books, but they're legit children's books.


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[Assistant] That's kinda weird, like Running Man and also like the fact that Die Hard was a book first. Like it wasn't called Die Hard though, right? But like- No, it was- That's crazy that those were novels before they were movies cause those are just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jurassic Park. Yeah, Michael Crichton. Michael Crichton, the main.


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[Assistant] So, for people who haven't seen Running Man, it's an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie about a dude who's- Know if I've seen Running Man. I don't know if I have. You've never seen it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's basically, uhm, like a, a TV show where you are running for your, it's, it's a do or die TV show, and if you reach the end, you win the prize, and that's- So it's, it's like Hunger Games?


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[Assistant] He thought Running Man was wack, he was pretty- He was embarrassed to buy it?


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[Assistant] You literally have no one else out here. How are you playing one on zero?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think that all of the society is on the back of a turtle?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I don't know. That's a great question.


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[Assistant] Remember when like fucking that show like Reboot dropped and then like Transformers Beast Wars?


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[Assistant] Yeah, and it was like the first like CGI cartoons and it just looks fucking so weird and bad it's almost cool now. Like it's just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then it's just a lot of just empty space. Like just lots of just one color everywhere. It's very trippy to watch old CGI. Same as like Lawn Mower Man. Lawn Mower Man is hella weird to watch now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was hyped when they did, uhm, the Dark Crystal remakes, but, but the Dark Crystal remakes were so, like, complicated that I don't think kids, we kinda talked about it a couple pods ago. Yeah, they're for adults.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like, that is what that thing looks like. That is that thing for real.


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[Assistant] You know, sometimes by accident, things slip inside.


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[Assistant] Well I don't think, the audience doesn't know what the claps mean. So when we start the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we're boys. Dude, so many, uh, I had a 4th of July party, Blakey was there, uh, uh, I was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, I would say that, you know, because some of the parties I'm like, well Kyle probably wouldn't like this because everyone is blackout and drunk and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but this one I'd say wasn't as bad, right? Like I would say this one, we catch it together. There's a lot of children. I was saying the first time I had this, this party, it was like 2017 or 2018 and there was like just a couple kids. Now there was legitimately 30 kids?


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[Assistant] Well, some would say Evolve. What, or did it Evolve? That's the question, Kyle. Yea, did it Evolve?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, no. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. Not joking. I thought it was a good idea in the moment and I was right because I made it to the end of the party. And your heart didn't explode. It's hard. It's hard nowadays to party for 12 straight hours because we start at noon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Oh. No, Chloe pulled that move. Chloe, Chloe pulled that move. She was like, I'm gonna go to bed now. And she like went upstairs and like just watched Jack Ryan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But by that time, there was only like maybe like 10, 10 or 15 of us, uh, at the, at the very end.


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[Assistant] I tried to stay along, but I like hadn't watched the first two episodes of the season, and I'm like, well, right. Fuck this!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he was in an episode of Workaholics. Adam's best friend. Uh, giant man, big beefy boy. Yea, huge guy. Now he's Jack Reacher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say like, I was looking at like, my frame and maybe Ders's frame and being like, yeah, we were about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you looking at my frame? I'm looking at their frame. I'm always


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. Yeah, I'm just framing you up. I'm looking, I'm looking at the body, I'm starting at the ankles, working my way up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we have. Dude, we're all getting, I mean, the three of us are gonna be 40 soon. Dyrs is already over the hump. Damn near 50. Damn near 50. Whoa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well what happened, I mean honestly what happened is there were so many hunks in the 90s that they turned 50, and they were like- Yeah, it's not the hill anymore. They- they turned 40, and then they were like, well this isn't the hill, look how fucking hunky I still am. I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. This can't be the- HOT HOT HOT HOT!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hang on, producer Becca is saying the hill is iconically 50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My family had the same thing. Well, let's talk to the California native, Kyle Newacek. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I remember thinking like, oh, my dad's dying. This is like a death party for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, it wasn't over the hill. Uh, that got dark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good idea. No, that would be fun, but we don't use, we should do, actually do something like that, but like we use rubber bullets, like it won't kill you. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Durs is our oldest friend and we do want to haunt him, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Like all of us collectively. Thank you, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was an older, there was an older classman that like really took it upon himself to come punch all the younger classmen, uh, on their birthdays and you're like, dude, do not tell him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. I noticed that a lot at the 4th of July party. Just kids. It's so funny, dude. I think I'm gonna laugh at my child a lot when they just like choose to cry. You're like, you can tell they didn't actually get hurt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no. You know, the four, the four-year-olds, the five-year-olds, that they're just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just choosing, you could tell that they were choosing to cry instead of like they actually hurt themselves. And I'm like, look at this guy go, dude, he's really cranky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and does that make you laugh? Like they spill some water or something and they just are like, oh shit, the world is, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Teddy has to fart. So he, they, they don't like it when you laugh in their face? Cause that's, that's how I grew up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I broke my, uh, wrist as a kid climbing a tree and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I climbed all the way to the top of this. There was these two twins that lived, uh, in my neighborhood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't actually do. They were like, we climb this tree all the time, climb to the top. And I'm like, you guys climb it all the time? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, all right. And then I get to the top and I'm like, it was not strong enough to hold me. So I, my fat ass little kid just fell head first, like 25 feet out of this tree and landed on the ground, wrist snaps,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. And I was just smeared in shit but was like...


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[Assistant] You're waiting, dude. And they're not even giving you pain pills yet. You're just sitting there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's like hyper concerning. I feel like Blake's the kind of guy who's just like, take me to the emergency room. Only if it's a spanking machine. I got hemorrhoids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feel free to hit me with it, Blake. I mean I know you're looking for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like every time I've seen conjoined twins, it's always like they're growing out of each other's heads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If your, your twin is like, like, imagine, imagine it's you, Blake, and your twin- No, I'm going to ER, brother. No, no, your twin is like, just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, is a gay man and just wants to do- got a dick. Then you have to go along for the ride. Close your eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is something that Durz has dreamt about every night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's... Dude, I feel, I feel like I just saw a man with a top hat at Pierce Brosnan's art show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to meet Tom, I've never met Tom DeLong before. And so I'm asking Mark, like, hey, will you show, uh, or can I go meet Tom? Show me to Tom. Show me to Tom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes to take us to meet Tom. Out of nowhere, this magician pops out of fucking nowhere, dude. And he was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's some famous magician and he was gonna do tricks and I'm like, oh man, this is our shot to meet Tom and then proceeded to do magic for 30 minutes and by the time we were done with the magic.


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[Assistant] Absolutely he does, and I do want to remember his name, and we're gonna cut this part out. I just remember his face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he had cards, he like took an X that was on his hand, and then just put it on... He's straight-edged? Put it on, uh, yea, straight-edged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he drew an X on his hand and then put it on Mark's hand without


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[Assistant] You say that's not magic to you? You know what it is? Dude, it's a trick. It's not magic, dude. It's not. I'm sorry. I took a little peek behind the curtain. It isn't magic. It's all skills and tricks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and if you get good enough, Kyle, you can dash a boy's dreams to meet one of their, uh, most... Yeah, you can make their dreams come true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, dude, I know every- I'm a real big blink head, and uh- Yea, you are. I knew every song, so like, to me, they were all- it was a wall of hits. And I feel like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, you don't remember it, did you? You were blackout? No, I wasn't. I wasn't. Because I drove us, uh, afterwards to Orange County. So I had, I only had like three drinks the entire show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I was, I was, I was fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at Todd hitting us with the set list. Yeah, we got the official. I mean, my God, all bangers, all bangers. That is rad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was honestly a fantastic show. It was cool seeing the band back together. Uh, I was at the show that, uh, whatever Kardashian Travis is with. Uh, yes, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Cruella Kardashian. Courtney, Courtney. Courtney? Courtney! Is it? I think that's right. Anyway, she held up the sign that said, Travis, I'm pregnant. And, uh, and she was like right next to us, so that was kinda cool, being like, woah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it was tight. The turnstile guys, uh, they're the ones that got me backstage. Oh, hell yeaah. Which it wasn't even blink. So I just had tickets, and uh, didn't have them backstage at all, really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, was like trying to angle to get backstage and, uh, our boy Atiba Jefferson took, uh, a few of the turnstile guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saw us and was like, uh, you guys can sail, get your backstage passes. So big shout out to Sky Hoppus. Yes, real sweetheart who made this boy's dreams come true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you know what? It was cool and I would have loved it if I wasn't on my way to meet Tom for the first time ever. Any other time I would have been in the pocket, ready to be a man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a cat? Is Siamese... Is that a place? I don't know anything about Siamese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Green eggs in Siam. Uh, Siamese describes something other related to Siam. Now Thailand. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Motherfucker, you don't know shit about the Bible. Siam Testament.


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[Assistant] Yeah, hey, and Blake, that's not at all what we're talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Church of Satan. Yeah, but Sammy, I thought Sammy Davis Jr. was like just like a big party or maybe this guy like had the good cocaine and yeah, he's just like kicking it with this guy. Yeah, he's like, whatever you want me to believe, baby. Wait, how does he sound? Give me some of the... Dude, not like that. He does not sound like Austin Powers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just a famous Sammy Davis Jr. quote.


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[Assistant] He had his teeth out, like I feel like he always had his teeth out.


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[Assistant] Like yeaah, we, we have that here, we drink martinis and meanwhile there's just like crushed keystone light cans in the corner and you're like, this isn't at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys didn't know anyone with a Rat Pack poster.


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[Assistant] He gave me his Spotify account. It's his iPod.


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[Assistant] Like for instance, Disney Plus just pulled a bunch of movies and Magic Camp was part of that. Oh my gosh. And like that's fine, I mean it's not like- It's the theme of the day. I'm sorry, how am I gonna watch it now?


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[Assistant] Yeah, it does not exist anywhere right now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so it just doesn't exist anymore, which, uh, you know, kinda sucks.


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[Assistant] Well, Mark is a little harder because Tom is the one that sounds like he's from Great Britain when he's just from San Diego.


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[Assistant] No, no, no. That, like, that started well before...


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[Assistant] I mean, the first one that like, we remember, but like the Stooges and like, uh,


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[Assistant] Dude, I don't know any songs. You know, the boys of time bomb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Rancid, like, bridges the gap between ska and punk. Yea, Rancid frickin' rips, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the premiere, they were giving like, at the after party, they were giving like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trey Cool, my buddy who is the drummer in Green Day, was not pumped that I made him take photos with me with my shirt off with a Blink 182 tattoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Oh my god. Calling HR. Yep. Uh, uh, he hasn't sent the link yet. Oh, you did. Okay, so I've, dude, I've already looked at it, I've already came.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, hey, if they, if that is Photoshop, they did a great job. That's like pretty real looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, to your apology and also go to my mom and dad and be like, I'm sorry for like, seeing all these kids, uh, at the 4th of July party and just seeing them all act like little bitches. And, uh, I want to apologize to my parents for sure I acted like a little bitch. I mean, I had to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Glom on my mom. You know, you don't even remember.


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[Assistant] Your fucking spine just goes out your asshole. As a foursome of friendship, we've kind of kissed each other here and there, but that was the biggest, most sensual kiss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kinda hot right now, like mesh tanks, or like a crochet tank top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know if that is what they're called anymore, but that's probably what they were once known as for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Topical! Doesn't that seem like it was 800 years ago? You never heard about that? Well, it was kind of a long ago, wasn't it? I have no clue. I have no concept of time anymore. Shit speeds up, slows down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did have a little, like, mesh number going on on the Tribeca red carpet. I did have that. But, I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I didn't have the guts to rocket no, uh, undershirt. I didn't really want to show nipples on the, on the carpet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm fine. It's cool that I don't have tattoos. I'm hyped on that. I resisted the urge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is uhm, Mark Hoppus on record not having tattoos? Uh, I don't know if he's on record.


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[Assistant] He circles back. I don't know, I didn't want to be that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's the standard operating procedure right now. I'm not that guy, I'm not really like nipple guy, like let it all hang out guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't super mesh, it wasn't like giant, like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a very, very colorful shirt, like very rainbow, like bright colors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wore white underneath just to kinda like neutralize it a little bit.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I know. Yeah, so maybe that's another reason I didn't want to expose myself. I am very self-conscious right now because my body has not seen sun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's at this point that when you're a white bro and you don't have any sun on your body, you can start to see like your veins. I look like ET when he's dying by the river. I don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't like the blue ve- I wanna- I like a nice little base coat. I like the bees.


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[Assistant] That would be so cool if hacky sacking was in the Olympics. If they brought hacky sack to the Olympics, what country would win?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I ask a super important question that you guys for sure don't know the answer to? Where did hacky stack sack begin? Who started it?


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[Assistant] Here we go, tune in. Hey, I know the listeners are going nuts. Here we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at this! The game is known as... The game is known as...


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[Assistant] You're a fucking disaster, my guy. You guys don't know that I can't read and listen at the same time? You're fucking out of your mind. I feel like that's, I feel like that's what happened. Just, no one's asking you to read, just listen. Well, I needed to read for myself, I was lost in the sauce.


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[Assistant] And that was made with like real animal carcass or was it like real leather? Absolutely. That's pretty freaking cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh damn, Whammo made slip and slide? Whoa. Yes, Whammo, Whammo's, they're, they're doing it all. Whammo made silly string.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, it's the one you've been seeing on Instagram, and you dip it in the water, and it-


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[Assistant] Dude, are you gonna let it suck? I mean, are you gonna put it in the pool and that's what it's gonna be?


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[Assistant] Instagram, you fell for it. Never fall for the Instagrams, dude.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you were, you kept, you kept talking about him and everyone was like, what? I, I know those, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever put your dick in between two of them?


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[Assistant] Oh god. I didn't know if you wanted to even bring that up.


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[Assistant] You literally have an offer from a pickleball brand to go pro.


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[Assistant] Well there were a few delays, there were a few delays and we were a little rattled. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. It's probably because of his, yeaah, his celebrity for sure. Yes.


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[Assistant] Or, or maybe they see promise. I see promise in Kyle if he would start maybe doing some jump roping on the weekend or, you know, stop eating all the chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we should have set the stage. We should have set the stage a little more. We played in a room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a tournament in San Clemente, and it was... The PPA event, yeaah. It was very delayed. We were there for... how long? 12 hours? Dude, it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had to, and I had to get on a flight at, I had to be in the Uber by 5.45am the next day to go to Tribeca. So I was like, bro, we need to wrap this shit up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very far. It was a lot of sacra- I- I- But you know what? I just wanted to be really- If this is California...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was a lot of sacrifice for me, but I just really wanted to show up for my friend, and I just, you know, and, and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fun other than it being a 12 hour day and just hanging out with a bunch of pickleball dorks. It was really cool dude. It was really cool. It was a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, who from T.I.I. Nation poisoned Adam? Cause that is some bullshit, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No way man, these got me going. By the way, this Cranblaster's flavor, my new favorite flavor. Ooh, so it's just okay then? No, it's just, let's just fuck off man, I like this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a crazy guest, Kermit the Frog, announce-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You pulled it closer, yeaah. I have to rewatch this. Yeaah, wait, did you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I mean as a, as a foursome of friendship, we've, we've kind of kissed each other here and there, but that was the biggest, most sensual kiss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we, okay, can we talk about triple, have we ever talked about triple kissing? It was really big in the 2000s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was- No, it's just like that was always an end game when you were at like spring break was to like triple kiss each other, not just dude friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My character was obsessed with triple kissing and it doesn't matter who it is, it just, it's more about it being three people kissing at once.


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[Assistant] Dude, there was a photo, I don't know what event it was where we have that photo and it's like kinda like the lineup for, you know, the season, the year season of Comedy Central and it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like us, it's Key and Peele, it's Broad City, it's Nick Kroll, it's just like crazy the people up there. I'm like, if you like, if we contractually got locked down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yeah, they're the Oakland, they're the Oakland A's of comedy, so I get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're sitting down at your TV, you gotta, it's up to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hairsprayin' versus shampoo, what's a better movie? Shampoo, stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is he? B-Boucher? It's Bayou, yeaah. Bobby Boucher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As much as the driving is super important, I think the sport really lies in who makes, like, the engines and the cars. Like, that is the actual, like, the, the, the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's way different. That's people running into you and hitting you and killing you. People were literally telling us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was being a real bitch about it. I wasn't doing that. I wasn't doing that. No, but-


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[Assistant] There were backwoods hillbillies coming up to me and telling me I'm gonna make a point to fucking hurt you out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, shout out to freaking Dale Earnhardt, Dale Earnhardt Jr., freaking Kyle Petty, I got nothing but respect for you guys, man, I like what you do out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess one of my super special shoutouts is to everybody who came to the live show in California.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but somebody gave me this, uh, naked grandma jacket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We like smoked weed on stage after the show was over. It was fuckin' cool, dude. It was great, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like the board is actually scarring my eardrums today. What's going on? Super duper loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it that loud? It's really aggressive. It's aggressive. They're all like very sharp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Woo! Oh, that's fair though. That's not too, that's not too out of character to assume Adam had the lit AF concept X plus two Red Bulls.


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[Assistant] Uh, haps- dude, absolutely. No, this is just some jackass shit, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, wow. Adam, how's not working treating you, bud? You getting a little stir crazy? Uh, dude, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you talking about? I was just down there a couple months ago. Yeah, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you never had a clam chowder, bread bowl, and all the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on. When you're making Jexty, it never- Is that the red or the what? That's the red.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I just went over to the Embarcadero and I went over to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, definitely an attention grabbing headline. You said, because of the drug problem, they had to close the restaurants. New Tucker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been there. Dude, I love Alcatraz. It's pretty great. Love Alcatraz. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have that fucking, that, I think they had the paper mache head in there when I went to Alcatraz, like from the movie. That was dangerous, it fell out of your hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I'm talking about? The movie escape from... Yeaah, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, San Francisco was the first time I like, saw homeless people and was like, what is going on? I remember being- You guys didn't have homeless people in Concord? No, we didn't. Not really. Not really. Not that, not that I saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I always get the- I always get the Glamour.com interviews, bro. That's like my sh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn dude. Spelling's, spelling's hard man, it's hard Adam, I'm with you bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I think. That's what I think. I would say, but I don't know if there's two S's in that or not actually. That feels, uh, right to me, but probably not. Yeah, it does feel right. It does feel right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet you, I bet you do. Imagine me and Adam's story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But why is the sound off? Do you guys want? Why is the sound off? What's going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It used to be homepage, you'd be like, oh, what is that weird word? Okay. And then you'd figure it out, you know, and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think you were, you were late to the party on that one, on the pronunciation, the pronunciation party, buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like Kleenex, or something that's universal, right? Like a trademark? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I couldn't really catch it. I couldn't, I couldn't catch it. I couldn't really. I didn't say like Apple iPhone. I said computer disk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is a, it's actually a big pencil. It's what like my kid uses cause it's a little bit thicker, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we were sharpening pencils and then all of a sudden it was like, if you have a little bit of Doseph, you can go get a mechanical pencil and you don't ever have to sharpen your shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a grinder, it wasn't even like, cut, it wasn't even like knives, it was like a grinder in there. You need to cut it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of the human wiener, yeah, that's it. God, the wiener is resilient.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was there, I used to run it. Oh, that's how, cause imagine, you had to get down. Now you got a penthouse at the marina. Yeah, you gotta get down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's no point in shit talking those books because inside each one of them is more knowledge that you should have. But it's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would like one. I never got the pleasure of having one, so if I- No, I got it several years in a row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hollywood clothes, right? Wait, what's up? Where's the nearest Hooters down there? Where's the nearest Hooters to me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now, right now. Yep, gimme that one back. Aaaaand. Give my phone back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm into that. I-I can-I can vibe with that. What is Boboli? I don't even know what this is, Bam. It's like, just the crust. Boboli is the- Boboli! Yeah, it's like the pizza crust that already has a crust in like a little- You don't know Boboli?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is just from. I want to start, dude. I want to start making more pizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, I just didn't understand how, why they, that's why they closed the, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the chili bean, I like the chili bean, that was yum yum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. No, the tiny little, small, personal, bubbly pizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm talking about maybe like a fuckin' seven inch diameter pizza here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're in Cincinnati, we get into trouble. We get into trouble on Cincinnati. But, but, but, but truly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You always knew. But even people were coming out of the audience to fight, dude. It was like you couldn't really pin it down. You couldn't really pin down what was going on. I know, I saw that clip today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a documentary, there's a doc on it bro. Morton Downey Jr. was doing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they cover this in an episode of like, it's on Hulu, it's called the dark side of the 90s. It's like, when this daytime talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what they're talking about in this fucking docu-series. But yeah, it's like... Right. Did you say Mori was first? Did you just say that, Ders?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They probably had boobs, right? Did they have boobs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, yeah Durr said he did that, and he balanced it all out, and at least he had that. That was the balance part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but maybe I, maybe I gotta turn down or something, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, don't go in anybody's DMs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Blake. He was like, oh, he said step out, and then he started doing a bit about it, and then was just saying...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got kicked out the house. We got kicked out the house. Hip house. Is that why you're... Are you in a new office? What's happening here? Are you in a shack in your backyard?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whose couch are you surfing upon? I mean, God, I would love to go down to the beach for a few months. Adam, is that cool? Does that work for you, a few months? Come on down, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had your toes hanging over? When was this? My toes were hanging off the back of the board, and I felt something a-knocking, and I turned around, and there was a fucking sea lion right there, just like, boom, like-


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[Assistant] I think I've told- Yeah, it wasn't a camera. I was drawing. Fuck no, that's worse. Uhm.


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[Assistant] I took a mental picture. I, Kyle, he took a mental picture is what it was and he didn't step on a sea lion. He was in bed napping.


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[Assistant] Adam, would you ever get into photography? And then we will circle back to where everyone else would sleep, but go ahead. Yeah. If they were kicked out of the house. Oh, right.


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[Assistant] Sea lions are the bigger blubs, right? See, sea lions are the ones up in the central coast, right? Like, are those elephant seals? The ones that are like, and they got the fucking wall? Oh, yeah, no, what is it? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Very much so. Yes, they will bite. Okay. And this message is brought to you by safety.


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[Assistant] Here's one, here's one thing that, I mean, that's tempting as well, but in Newport, yep, there's a lot of pickleball in Newport, but here's the other thing. Durs has a family. Great Hooters too. A what? And kids, that might be a family, and kids, that might be helpful in my road to recovery, whatever is going on.


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[Assistant] Whatever got me. Right. Adam's only married and just so sad. Oh sure sure sure.


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[Assistant] I don't know, could that help? Could that help me on my...


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[Assistant] Which one's a better recovery spot for me, I guess, is the question, you know?


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[Assistant] I got kicked out. You're actually gonna work on yourself. I got kicked out. I didn't kick anybody out.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think I'm trying to mend when I'm there and I think Ders is good. I would love to go to each one of you guys' houses for like 10 days each. Oh yeah!


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[Assistant] It's gotta go. What about you, Blake? Where you staying, man? What are you doing?


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[Assistant] Yeah man. I feel like we could learn a lot. I feel like if I went like 10 days at each of your guys' house and I am in having a mental crisis, I will find what I need to fix myself. Yes, I think that is, and I think that that's- This is a Richard Linklater movie waiting to happen. That is why.


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[Assistant] Right, he was good. But like, Letterman was in on the joke. That's why I always love it. Those and the Crispin Glover clips of Letterman back in the day.


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[Assistant] There's that too, but I think, I'm pretty sure he like karate kicks him in Shroom Letterman's face or something. What? I think so.


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[Assistant] Like, this dude is that way everywhere he goes. Right. Joaquin made a choice to jump into Gloverland, into Crispin's world.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but I don't think Letterman was in on the Joaquin thing either. I think I don't know but Letterman is he's he's down. He's very down I feel like when something's in he's like I see what we're doing here. We can we can play this and now Letterman is cool


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[Assistant] Right. Is that the joke? Is that he's like, you should know that this is funny because there's no way I've watched any episode.


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[Assistant] Oh shit. Hey, I've watched every episode, get it? Like, oh I get it, you haven't seen it at all.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's, there's no way. Well how many fucking writers has David Letterman had over the years? Exactly. Hundreds? Exactly. And how many were better than Kevin? Almost all of them. So it's like, there's no way. You lose!


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[Assistant] Most. You know, Kevin ended up with us. That's what I'm gonna say. Wow.


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[Assistant] But that gives you so much time, that gives you so much time to think.


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[Assistant] Adam thinks he's like out of the dog house already. The fucking ego on this guy.


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[Assistant] But what happened to the reason, what happens to the reason you went in the dog house? It just, uh,


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[Assistant] Adam, Chloe's on like a 51st date situation.


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[Assistant] There's a cool list of facts on the side of her bed.


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[Assistant] You gotta come up to the, you gotta come up to the bay. But you know what, it's a nice getaway. Come up to the bay. Yeah, man. It's only 10 degrees hotter. Come up to the bay for this. Yeah, come up to the bay. I got a pickleball court in the backyard now. Okay.


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[Assistant] Oh, really? Isn't it crazy how none of us missed any shots? God, that's crazy. I know. Especially you.


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[Assistant] Kind of. Very last minute, yea. Uh, yea, I didn't know. I didn't realize that was what was happening.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Yeaah, it was cool. It was really cool. Hey, I will say that like, because we interact on here now, almost exclusively, saying stuff from the pod to each other was very, like I'd be like, I mean yeaah dude, it was a whoop-wap. But in person,


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[Assistant] It's true. It's like, oh, you get into something cool and then save it for the pod. I was with you yesterday, but...


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[Assistant] Don't you kind of hate when you run into somebody for a long time and you gotta be like, so like, what's, how, how's it going with war? You gotta like get it, and you just wanna like hang in the moment.


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[Assistant] Not the photo, this is it. It is nice having a photographer for a friend, cause he's always like, gotta get a photo. And I'm like, do we? And he's like, yes. And then we post it today and everyone loses their mind. And then, and then you have it and you're like, yeah.


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[Assistant] Dude, and that picture was great, that sunset was sick, like that's a moment, we got it. And the fact that we were together the night before the like, birthday of Workaholics. Yeaah, what the hell? Completely over my head, had no idea.


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[Assistant] That's what it was. That's cosmic. It's cosmic, dude. It's bigger than us. That's why we were together. It's cosplay. It's cosplay.


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[Assistant] We said shirts off, put this on.


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[Assistant] I like the way you said that. Who's gonna be in the Fantastic Four? Who's gonna be in that movie? Us?


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, they're givin' another shot. Really? You know what, my guy Shakman is directing it. He directed, uh, Godzilla, and he's- he's killer. I think he's gonna do a good job. Okay.


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[Assistant] Oh, okay. Is that, is that Matt, is that Matt Schachman? Yea, he did a bunch of the Sonny stuff too. Yea, right, that's where I know his name from. His last name is Shaq? Schachman.


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[Assistant] Land on your mark, I guess I should say. I really like the version where Blake's not even cast as the human torch in these there.


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[Assistant] Human torch. Okay, okay. So we got the thing. Human torch. Human torch. The thing. Ben Graham.


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[Assistant] Who knows? Adam's built for the thing, let's keep it real. That's... Alright, well let's keep going, I'm down to, I don't know where I fit in then.


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[Assistant] I don't give a fuck, I'm invisible, bro. I'm fucking out, woof. Just destroyed by his homies. No, it's good. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's good, I'm fucking invisible. Whoa, whoa, whoa.


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[Assistant] Uh, which is a horror movie, uh, an 80's horror movie. Where like a doofus gets plugged into a computer and becomes a super genius.


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[Assistant] That movie rocks. And, uh, he's got the hottest eyes. He's in top 10 hottest eyes. Such hot eyes, yes. In Hollywood history without- Oh, yeaah, man. Real hot eyes. Any exaggeration?


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[Assistant] And he did a guest little star on, uh, Workaholics. The coolest. As the homeless guy in the episode titled...


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[Assistant] Yeah man, get out. It's your art, bro. Get it out. Express yourself. That's good. But between takes and stuff, this dude was explaining his life, and it turns out he's the most interesting man in the world straight out of the Dos Equis commercials.


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[Assistant] Not quite. It's dope, it's dope. Wait, but, but the, the story, the story continues. Oh. Wow. For Fahey? Then he's, yea, for Fahey. Then he like gets, from ballet gets into acting and I think he's, he's studying under like Stella Adler or one of those like OG New York acting teachers.


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[Assistant] In the 80s, whenever Rambo 3 was going down, he goes over and builds a school in Afghanistan and starts living there.


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[Assistant] And is going back and forth from Hollywood to Afghanistan, making money, doing movies, and then going there. Doing ballet.


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[Assistant] But you would know him from, he's in both Planet Terror and the Tarantino Death Proof. Oh yeaah, right. He's in both of them.


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[Assistant] When, when Fahey held up the raccoon that was just the stuffed raccoon and cried over its death or its injury and, and it was- And goes full on. Yeaah. Dude. That was, that was the best performance I had seen at that time. That was it. Yeaah, like- In our show for sure.


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[Assistant] It doesn't matter. And then, so we got stuck with like, people that did not want to let their animal do the fucking job that they said they were gonna do. And we had a stuffed animal. Dude, these people, they just say yes. You go, do you guys have this? They go yes. They spend the whole night out in the wild looking for the thing you asked them to bring in.


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[Assistant] Well, I, I'm always like of the mind where it's like, you do it first. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


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[Assistant] If somebody looks, if somebody looks at you, yea, if somebody, if somebody looks at you funny and you think they might punch you or whatever, maybe in the future, give them a little shove. No, that's what you say, alright.


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[Assistant] It's a different world. Woah. It's a different world. Although they, my kid came home and he was like, yeah, the way he worded, I can't remember what they call it, but he's like, we had a, like,


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[Assistant] Dude, we had a X Games lockdown. There's like a loose lockdown and then like a hard lockdown or something like that. And he goes, yeah, we had a hard lockdown at school.