[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bad. No. I was the same with my friends who were a bit older than me at school and, you know, I would go around and watch them play XCOM and TIFF and colonization. That's how I got into gaming in the first place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some great point and clicks these days. There really are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who knows. Yes. They've got some good ones. Unavowed is one of my favourite games actually in the last few years. I really really recommend it. They're not like gamer games, but they're just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the thing, we are flooded, but at the same time, we have this wonderful indie seed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's going on, where you can still get like a pretty shit basic game that is- takes the world by storm, like look at vampire survivors or some of this whole genre that's evolved out very quickly, which is very old school in design. It is, yeah. Vampire survivors are fantastic. Oh man, I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which was that, a real masterpiece.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think they, I think they just bit off more than they could chew, even the witcher took longer than they thought it would, it didn't, it wasn't perfect when it was released, it took time to make it good, and like, it was real crunch heavy, like, they really, the people who made it said that, oh my god, they almost died making that game, and almost, I think those people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're just like, I'm not gonna do that again. Uhm, they're almost, even though you're making it in Poland. Uhm, and with Ricky's pretty harsh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We laid on some borscht and some vodka for you, uh, you guys are gonna stay overnight, we'll finish this game, have it wrapped up by morning, alright? Let's do it. Fuck's sake. That was his like bullshit management style. Fuck's sake. I think that just- I think that must be sport habit, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think when you're a big guy, when you're at Alan's Sugar and you're like, I've got all these guys who are really smart, they're gonna make me a game. Right, make me a game. It's like, this doesn't really work like that in a sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has to be, it has to come from an idea, some of the best games are from one guy's vision, or one guy's clever plan, not necessarily something that a studio who's got coders lying around need to come up with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like this is why game designers are a strange...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beast, you know, you have, you have obviously people like, uh, Hideo Kojima who are-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Famous for creating these weird ideas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of genre crossovers, a lot of people try and do experimental stuff, and they get quite a long way down the road before they realise that it doesn't work. And that's really sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, nowadays with all these Unity and all these engines, it's the thing that I'm told that is something to do is fail quickly. Uhm, if you're gonna make a game, like, just don't, you know, make a game jam demo and see if it fucking sucks. Or if it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people, a lot of these big publishers now, uhm, are publishing indie games with some sort of underground wing. Like, Square Enix have done it, Frontier Paradox have got, like, uhm, an indie wing, where they've got people hunting for indie games, and they, well, we'll put them under their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now couched under these, these, these, these guys. But I think the problem is these studios have such high expectations when you look at companies like Frontier and Paradox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paradox have fucking every game, like Stellaris, City Skylines, all these games have massive mega hits. They get incredibly disappointed when I, I, I, I, I would imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, when a game sells only a hundred thousand copies, you know, but to an indie dev, that's a massive sense of paradox. That's a failure. Or to other games developed, not necessarily, but I can imagine that their mindset is definitely, like, based on their previous titles, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Because Angry Birds was such a huge thing and just trying to, or even like classically Minecraft, right? Like Notch, the idea that you have to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it has to be driven by some degree of passion, right? It has to, because otherwise it's just not gonna be very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to have people, you have to find, my advice to them would be, don't even bother trying to do it yourselves. It would have been like, get some people who are really passionate about the game, find some devs who want to take up the mantle of making this game to the next, you know, taking it to the next level, making the, improving it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think maybe they're happy with that, it's true. I've got a lot of respect for the Terraria guys though, for their sort of attitude, which has very much been like, you know, you pay one price, you get the game, and you know, we're gonna keep giving you free stuff, you know, all the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Minecraft has definitely changed a lot since it's been bought, you know, now you can just, you can buy a Spider-Man costume pack and all that crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well of course they do, it's huge, it's still, and it's still a massive amount of popularity and focus and even more marketing now going into it than ever before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh, maybe you're ahead of us, because of that Pentium power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, let's get down to it. I've got probably- This guy, this guy is ready to bag. I'm ready to bag. I've got my bag open already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the email address. I didn't set up a Triforce one. I probably should have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I will, I will read them. I, I respond to some that don't get read out, which are not suitable for going out because they're just a bit, they're very, very personal and sort of, uh, very sweet. Um, or they're just something that would be a massive buzzkill in all honesty. So I just thought, you know, I'll respond to those ones personally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just be like, you know, cheers and good luck and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quite a few of them are people saying that oddly enough this stupid podcast of ours helps them out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and choose some tough times. And I think, you know, I don't want to read those out because it feels like wanking yourself off a bit, but I think, uhm, it's nice to hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I want you guys to know that it certainly motivates me to keep doing the podcast as much as, you know, hanging out with these guys. It is nice to know that in some small way we're helping people in either


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This might be the best opening to any Triforce email that we've ever had. Uh, you guys can be the judge. This is the first sentence for the email.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's 100 quid for an Xbox 360 and 90 quid for a PS2. No 18 rated games or DVDs are allowed in prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the selection games is limited and old. Many of the PS2 games are so scratched that they're basically unplayable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, and for what it's worth, my crime was financial. It was related to insurance, which is why I'm trusted enough to be able to go home while still in prison. So Mars is not a danger to, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think that those banks and those guys are so important to the economy that if they all got taken down the way they should be, they know they're basically above the law. I mean they basically run the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what, one of the things when my kids go to a horse riding club, one of the things they have to do, there is a giant heap of horse shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think it's teaching them a good life lesson. You don't get to fuck about and just have fun. You know, you gotta put some fucking graft in there. And shoveling horse shit is a great eye-opener. Also, because of all the tasks I had to do, my eldest, her hands and her grip


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this is from Jesse. Jesse is a wedding photographer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weird, exciting or awkward wedding stories that we've got. Uh, but as Jesse is a part-time wedding photographer, uh, there's a list of things that they've seen that's pretty bonkers. Uh, a truly ancient grandpa getting figuratively and literally too tipsy and falling over and banging their head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fair enough, but this one's my favourite. A drunk uncle giving a speech at a wedding which was going south very quickly due to feuding family members.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the issue is if you don't really know the, uh, the people involved, that's, those are the bad weddings. I've been to, I've been to a few weddings where I only knew like two or three people there and one of those people was either the bride or groom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, they're busy, and then you're basically, I'm with Mrs. F, so it's just us, and like, people I do not know. For the whole length of a wedding is a long time, and you end up having the same boring, uh, how do you know a broad group conversation, and what do you do, how did you get here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's why I think the people that are there is what's most important. I mean, I know that all the weddings I've been to, it's the people. Like, you can be in a wedding with the most unbelievable setting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, we were 25 when we got married. It was, uh, not a church wedding because we're, we're not religious people. And, uh, so it was town hall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we got an email here, this is about the- we- we really opened a can of worms when we talked about jury duty. Because I've had so many emails about jury duty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do, but also, because obviously so many people get called up for jury duty, and it's, it's an interesting thing to be called up for, although for most of the emails I've got about it, it seems like it's also incredibly boring most of the time, and there, there haven't really been any positive, uh, there have been a couple of positive emails about juries, but most of the time, it's like this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who I can only describe as a jolly Hugh Babineau and he's the big lad on Better Call Saul.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At this point, I became very enthralled with the movie as I'd not seen it yet. About three quarters of the way through, at 11.45, the bailiff returned again to say they were all set and we could leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was quite annoyed, not only because I'd had to eat a parking ticket, by knowingly parking where I knew I'd get a parking ticket, sitting in a room full of strangers who were essentially wasting four hours, but for the fact the movie was cut short and I had to purchase the movie later to finish it as I needed to find out how it ended.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There'd be like some kind of little serial, like a 20-minute bit, like The Lone Ranger or something, uh, or some little, you know, Batman-y kind of, uh, you know, Kid Crusader thing. Then they'd have the B-movie and then the main event, the big picture at the end. So you'd go in and you'd pay your money, you'd be there for fucking hours. You'd be watching like three separate programs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you gotta look it up. It's like a Finnish instructional video on how to use a door because apparently most people are doing it inefficiently. So this is like a video about how to use a door. I cannot tell if it's a parody or not because I was laughing too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, how, given that you're in an open prison, is there any violence? Are there still a few nutters about? I mean, cause I assume if you're in the open prison, you fuck somebody up or jug them or something, you're gonna leave the open prison, like in a way, by having an open prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it has a problem for us to solve. It's a simple one that I think we can all relate to. How could it be that I simultaneously love video games yet can never find anything I want to play? That is the story of our lives, I'd say. Quite often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And while it's not unheard of, for grandmasters to approach or occasionally hit 100% optimal, it is very, very rare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Magnus Carlsenhoff was around 70-72% optimal. Obi Fischer was around 75% optimal when he went on his legendary 20 match win streak. Hans Niemann has had multiple 100% optimal matches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Including one where he made 45 engine-perfect moves in a row. Also, big surprise, the match in question that cast an accusation of cheating during he had 100% optimal moves. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing, she basically didn't have a hand, right? She had like Jack high. And he had, she was winning because she had a higher card than him. I think he had an 8-9, uh, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it was, it was a super, super marginal hand. Now, some people are saying she cheated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And for it to be so, such a big and obviously high profile hand, it's televised, it would be the stupidest thing ever to cheat in that spot, for so many reasons. Not least because it would obviously look like cheating. If, if he had apps, if he just had seven high and she had eight high and called it and there was nothing out there potentially,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 100% chance she wins and then she calls, that might be considered cheating. But this would, this would not only be extremely unlikely that she would cheat because it would be too obvious, but also it's such a terrible spot to cheat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the one thing that I think nobody's really noticing is why would you fucking cheat in a spot where you're still barely better than a coin flip? It's ridiculous. So no, she was not, she was not cheating. This Hans Nieman thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that there's a bias in the media, Lewis? Uh, no, I think there's just bias in humans. Interesting. Well then wait, because our next email might change your opinion on that, because this is a mail bag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Specifically, we said, President Biden accused Russia of a deliberate act of sabotage in the explosion of the Nord Stream pipeline. In actual fact, Biden still had not said Russia was responsible, and no other major news outlets were reporting it that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I brought this up to an associate producer, they tried to fix it, but the two top producers told me it was an editorial decision and not to change it. The associate producer and I were not happy with this, but I haven't done anything else. Despite this instance, as a whole, the people on the show care a lot about setting their biases aside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and he's asking for our thoughts on this. Still not sure how seriously to take it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the question is, uhm, you get all these young people coming into work in journalism and in the media, I think they have one vision of how they hope it's gonna be and what they want to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, no big up for Buble indeed, although...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my goodness. Oh, this is from a guy whose nickname, his name is Jacob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. No, you really don't. Holy shit. This is Jacob Ducky voicing. How do you think he got the nickname Ducky?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a pilot scene. Alright, so here we go. It's just a shout out for the recommendation. But I thought that this was interesting. Jacob Ducky Voicen. Why do you think it's Ducky? It's not because he's posh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Voicen sounds like hoisin, like hoisin sauce, so that is such a weak reason to have the nickname Ducky. No offence, Ducky, but voicen? I don't get it. I don't get it. I just thought that was funny. In terms of bad nicknames, that really doesn't make sense. That's up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hoisin, what like hoisin sauce? What like they put on ducks? We'll call him Duckie. So funny. Anyways, uh, hello, Pyrrhon Lewis and Sips. I was listening to number 235 while on my mail route as usual and was fascinated to hear about this gathering of the Nigels that are pub hosts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rareness of my name has presented another issue, as Nigel is a trans woman, and you're all exactly right that Nigella, which is something we talked about, is a horrible name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Crystal is a stripper name. I've got one here. This is the, I guess we're going to finish on this one because this will be the hour mark. And this is, uh, from Edward, uh, which is a cracking name. Well done, Edward. Uh, please read this in your best British railway nerd voice. Okay. All right. Uh, Lewis recently talked about being of suitable age to love trains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My partner and I stood next to the large drive wheels and they're taller in diameter than me. I'm six foot tall. This locomotive was also used in the 1986 movie Tough Guys with Bert Lancaster and Kirk Douglas. For some reason the red hot chilli peppers are in it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This movie. We also had a tour of a naval submarine called USS Blueback, which was used for breaching shots in the hunt for Red October, probably more interesting to you, period.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that's true. I really don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, listen, I uhm, recently, my son, I got my son his own Steam account, which he was like, thrilled about, because he used to just use mine. We used to have to do like, the whole like, you know, one person using it in offline mode, while the other person could use it online, whatever. Uh, but now he's got his own, and the first game,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that he has in his own Steam library is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does, yeah. Wait till he sees the cold power generators, the water and everything. Holy crap, he's gonna have a meltdown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Factorio's the same, I don't know if you guys get this, I don't really play games like that as such, but it's a ramping up of complexity and to a point where you reach a limit with it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of a sudden you just need to make more and more and you have to, you have to scale up what you've already done and your brain just melts out of your ears. Cause it's a job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm at the point now where, and I get to this point, this isn't new, I do get to this point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My thing now, like, there's certain games that I just don't like to play against other people. Cheating or not, you know what I mean? Like, you get past a point where it's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Enjoyable and it, it, it does almost become a job, but a very tedious one at that, right? Cause you can't keep up with some of the people that play games, you know, like, uh, and it's like the, it's the whole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, you have no idea whether or not they're cheating. You have no idea whether or not they outskill you until it's too late and they clearly outskill you. You know what I mean? It's just too uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't mind if he's good, because you're sitting right next to him, you're just like, oh fuck you, whatever, like, you know, let's try again, or let's just do something else, sort of thing, but I don't know, you just, you just get into such a trench with online gaming, like especially like competitive multiplayer online gaming. I don't know, like I've played my fair share of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My takeaway from it, or how I'm left feeling, uh, after every time I play these games, is just shit. Like, I would just rather play a single player game, uh, at my own pace and enjoy myself, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been playing a lot of Hitman, the new, uhm, road bike mode. If you like Hitman, it's hard. I almost didn't see it through, like, the first couple of times I played it. It was so hard, I didn't enjoy it, but I kept


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kept at it because it has like a lot of nice progression stuff, and uh, I've played like 250 hours of it now, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, I mean, it is such a fantastic game as well. It is just such a nice game to play. Like, it just feels great. All the different ways that you can, uh, assassinate people and stuff. It lends itself well. There's so much comedy to it as well. There's so many hidden little dialogues and shit that you can, uh, you can do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is, uh, you know, when you, when, when you, when you get into something, it's nice to be like really into something and like addicted to it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, but I mean, the city or town you live in is not a fucking battle arena and it's not a game of Grand Theft Auto. I mean, Jesus Christ, there's like kids out there. There's all sorts of, what are you doing driving after somebody? Like you have no business doing that. It's so fucking dangerous. It's so selfish as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, crime of passion. They have the same in Canada to some extent. I think you can do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but the thing is, like, especially in this country, maybe not so much in America, because I think what you're sentenced is normally what you end up serving in America, right? More or less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but, uh, no, in, in America, like, life is life. Over here, life is 20 years or something. Right, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's the other way around. I think in the states, if you're sentenced, normally you're serving your full sentence. Plea deals are to avoid court.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do a plea deal so that you can avoid the rigmarole of court.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sentencing and stuff like that. Usually, usually it's, it's saying, yeah, I did it, but I'm telling you, I did it. And can you just be lenient on me or, or I'll give you some information that you need or something like that. You know what I mean? And it's not for every, every case. There's like, it's, it's very specific when you can sort of do a plea deal or whatever. But, uh, as far as I know in the UK, you can get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In like half the time that you're sentenced for, for good behaviour and stuff, but the whole- We shouldn't speculate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole thing that comes up around it though is like, with some of these crimes, and the gravity of some of them, not only to the victims of the crime, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The implications also on the people who are doing these crimes, their mental health and whether they're a threat to society or not anymore or whatever. I don't know how somebody can kill somebody in the most brutal way and then ever come out of jail again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But even the stories I just talked about, with the baby found in the forest, the baby's body found in the forest and, uh, and the, and the, and the teenager, um, who was basically just left to die just so, so mistreated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I'm just saying, I don't think that if you're doing shit like this, you should ever come out. I think you're fucked. Your brain is just not compatible with the rest of, you know, mostly law-abiding society. I think you cross a threshold with some of this stuff. I think once you've killed somebody, however you've decided to kill them, there's no going back. You've done it. You know what I mean? You're on the path to normalizing it somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was murder, but it wasn't, you, you weren't fucking torturing somebody or mistreating them or something. You were, you, you, you basically had to do it in some form of self-defense. I'm sure that that's, that's an example where I would expect that somebody isn't a threat to society. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that's the thing, it isn't like that, right? It really is just case by case, like some cases are so much worse than others, and you can't really just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm against the death penalty on principle, but there are exceptional exceptional cases where I would be for it for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fair trial for this man. We gotta bring him in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, maybe their orders were to do that, but it was like, you know, it was like in Hollywood, where it's like, YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS, and you got the guy sweating, like, with the triggers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're getting kicked out of Frogmore as well. What's Frogmore? I think it's like a residence within the grounds of Windsor Castle. It's like a cottage that historically Harry has lived in. Frogmore Cottage?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure it was, but it's so uhm, it's such a waste of time. Fuck, where does it go? Where do you go with this knowledge of Harry's hard time or whatever? Like, you know what I mean? Like, he's still fucking super rich. His family will always be super fucking rich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when, when you start hearing about the shit they get up to about behind the scenes, that's when people are just, and the, and the queen knew that as well, right? Like she, she, she went out of her way, it seemed to just kind of keep things very, you know, like a formal surfacey so that everybody just saw them as just, you know, doing whatever it is that they're meant to be doing or whatever. But then when you start hearing about all the drama and the nonsense in the background, that's when people really start to put a spotlight on them, right? Like what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gonna be like a compromise in there somewhere, but like, you know, I think, I think stripping him of all of his titles in there. He wasn't allowed to wear like, uh, any military uniforms at the Queen's funeral and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, not being able to, to sort of do the things that he's accustomed to doing is, uh, you know what I mean? Like, he'll, he'll probably, he'll be the next person to write the memoirs of how hard done by he is and stuff, right? Like, they, they, they don't live in the same, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, when it all comes to a head as well and everybody decides that, uh, you know, as against the death penalty as they are, they, they want to enact a death penalty on this AI, everybody just stands around a server room and then some dude just unplugs the wall. Terminated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about an AI-generated reboot of The Passion of the Christ? I'd be down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the prize pool for TI this year? We don't know yet. Oh, is it, uh, still, uh, still, still accumulating?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, is, is my first point. I like it when I, I used to like it when it was like in August because, uh, I could sit around and it was nice and hot or like I could sit in the garden and watch games and stuff, you know, when they weren't in the middle of the night. And, uhm, also I liked it when, uh, TI wasn't on in the middle of the night for me as well. I haven't watched a single game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, who is in the final four for somebody who hasn't been watching? Who's uh, who's looking good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is very classy. Yeah. Was it, do you, did it look like, uh, it was, uh, it was written with, with a quill pen and ink, like on the parchment?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think you might be having to do that as well. Doesn't that drive you, doesn't that drive you a bit nuts? Like cause like when I think of these guys who are really good at Dota, I figure that's all they do. And I can't comprehend that they would have other hobbies outside or time for anything else other than just being really good at Dota. Cause it seems so all encompassing, right? It does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't believe that that guy just like goes out and fishes and then comes home and just owns that Dota. I mean he's incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's been around for so long now that it's, you know, it's, it's more of a, of an industry in of itself, you know, like, uh, I guess kind of like professional sports became like over, you know, decades and decades of running or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A point that, a point that you just mentioned about the length of a game being tied into an hour long game. I mean, I've been playing, uhm, I've been playing Marvel Snap, which uhm, to be fair is a mobile game, but man, it's been so good, it's a card game, but the games


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are so short, like two minutes, like it's incredible, it's so good. You know, you can, you can play a couple of games on the can or like you could, you could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could finish a game in the time it takes for like a kettle to boil, you know what I mean? Like it's, it's just perfect like to fill like those, just those, those dumb little wasted times like in the day, you know, like especially if you can't get to your computer or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And those are your, that's your progression like through the ranks. So you could get like eight points towards your next rank if you win and you bluff it and stuff. It's really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can, you can fully commit or you, you might have like a really big hand, like play, you might have a big card that is just going to like, you know, go nuts. Uhm, and you, and you're sure you're going to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's two-fold. It gives you, uh, it teaches you how to play the game, but it also helps you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gather up some early cards, like progression wise, because like the way that you get new cards, you don't buy packs like you used to in Hearthstone. You unlock them through...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blue to purple, purple to, uh, orange, you know, like the, the, the World of Warcraft, um, you know, rarity colors. And as you do these upgrades...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 10 cards in a deck, and it's a maximum of 6 turns, so you basically play like 1 card a turn, uhm, like on a curve like you would in Hearthstone, and they all have different like effects or whatever, but you have to win 2 of the lanes, 2 of the 3 lanes, and the lanes have like a modifier which is random every game as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some, some days or weeks they'll have like an event that, you know, favors one type of lane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to say, Marvel Snap for me is not disappointing. I've been playing the shit out of it. I think it's super fun. Like, I really like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game's dragged out for a long time, depending on what was big in the meta and stuff like that. Like it feels like this is just very simple, very fun, you know, not too much of a investment in time and stuff like that. Like you can, you could do as much as you want with it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another nice thing about it, Flax, you'll probably appreciate this, is if you play it on your tablet or on your phone, uhm, and you sign in with your Google account, you can, uh, there's a free to play version on Steam as well that you can sign in with your Google account and it'll-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, so you can play it on your PC and all your, uh, you'll be obsessed with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that's the best part of being a smoker or vaping. Like, uh, I haven't vaped in a long ass time now, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, you're, you're both just doing something, um, you know, in common or whatever. And it's not so like, uh, you know, like somebody like nervously shaking, uh, to say hi to you and stuff like that. It's, it's, it's much more laid back. So it's actually a really nice way to interact with like, you know, people who watch your content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just want to get some, uh, some Popeye cigarettes, some candy ones and just pretend that you're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not tempted to smoke in the boys room or? The toilet? You're just sticking to the balcony? Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess you must notice with cigarettes though that it's more of like a contained activity, right? Like you go out, you smoke, you come back in, you're done for a little bit until you go out for another one. I find with vaping you're just constantly fucking tugging on it all the damn time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those pen vapes, uhm, there's far less, like, um, cloud that comes out. Oh yeaah. It's the, um, it's like the bigger- Yeah, they're much more subtle, aren't they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other thing as well is if you're vaping indoors, I don't know if you find this flex, but when I used to vape in the garage, and uh, it leaves like a fucking film on everything. Like a residue, and there was just this fucking gross like lung juice all over the damn place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I've had this conversation recently because as Lewis mentioned about Overwatch 2,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a game I actually enjoy, but I'm kind of addicted to it. So I play it, but like I hate play it. And uhm, you know, people are like, why don't you just stop? Well, cause that's not how addiction works. Right. You don't just stop. Like that's why, that's why you're addicted to something. You keep doing it, even though it hurts you or whatever. You know what I mean? Like it takes a long time to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get into that headspace where you can move away from this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, man, they don't even get me started. The weekends around here recently have just been, every day, every minute of every day is accounted for. Somebody needs to be somewhere, I'm driving somebody, I'm picking someone up, oh man, it's crazy. It's like, uh, it's like, I never knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You like, you have a couple of kids and you're like, yeah, it's busy, there's a lot to do or whatever. But then when they start to grow up, holy shit, they want to do a lot of stuff, it's crazy. Like, you have to keep on top of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll start calling you by your e-handle again, Zephos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I ran out of clean t-shirts the other day and the only shirt I had in my drawer was like, uh, one with no sleeves. It's like, you know, like one of those like, I don't even know why I own this, but it was like, like one of those gym shirts, you know, like it's, it didn't have like any sleeves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, kinda yeaah. And uh, so I put it on, it was kinda uncomfortable because I'm not used to wearing it. I didn't even realize I owned it. Somebody must have given it to me or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I walk past a mirror and I catch a glimpse and I just, I took it off and just went shirtless until my shirts were clean. It was a disgrace. Like I've never seen anything worse in my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate myself. Man, I just had a thought. Don't you find, uh, Lewis, uh, Flax, that Lewis looks like, uh, like Athene and Seb from Dota, uhm, had a kid together? Like he looks just like, like, he looks like they're mixed together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and what about your, uh, your mom's dad? Was he bald?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I never met him. Oh. Try, ask your mum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey listen, I got another one for the mailbag, uh, for, for potential, uh, people who submit things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's news yesterday that the EU have basically said to Apple that they can't use their proprietary USB


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go pat a dog and pick flowers. It's off of our chest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you gonna freeze, uh, are you just gonna freeze some of your, uh, juice? No, no. Just in case? Or no? No. You're done. You're just... I'm done. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't blame you, man. Honestly, I think I was done at two. Three? God bless them all, I love them, but three is too much. And anything above that, my hat goes off to you, I don't know how the fuck you have been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, do you know, do you know the thing I like about that the most though, is the very stereotypical like, I just want to sit in a chair and fall asleep while everything happens around me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, because they gotta, it's, it's one of those ones where I think because it's not like a huge, uhm, life-threatening thing, they get all the, uh, all the trainees and stuff in, right? Like it gives them some, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy who shoved a probe into my ass and a camera down my dick, his whole thing was, uhm, like, very specifically, men's urinary tract. Like, that's all he does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds like a, that sounds like a good map idea for Hitman. I've been playing a lot of Hitman recently and like, you know, like some of the, I don't know if you guys have played it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Oh, okay. So, uh, so why you just gotta, you just gotta make sure your pipes are good and empty. You just gotta jack off like 50 times before the, the thing is done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would bet big ups, I'm fine with a big up to sperm this week. That's fine by me. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is it? Okay, but what is it with, any time you're about to have a procedure that has anything to do with your genitals or your ass, it becomes sexual to people. Like, like when I was, when I was talking about uhm, I was telling Chad about like, you know, like my prostate and stuff like that, almost every con- every, every comment was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, like, if, uh, if, if my wife was like, yeah, I think you should get one, I would just, I would get one, I'd be fine, but like, I'm not like going out of my way to get one, either, you know, it's a lot of hassle, like, I gotta leave the garage, like, uh, go somewhere, like, I don't want to do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just- I've been messed around with enough recently. I don't need to be messed around with anymore. But, you know, if it was like, you know, if it- Yeah, in the butt. If it was in the butt, yeah, for sure. But uhm, no, but like if it was like impacting my wife's health or something like that, then yeah, of course I would do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if I would just like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't opt to do it. You know, like some people you meet are like, oh, I have to get one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't necessarily have to go and do that, I guess, but uhm, but no, I mean, I get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When is, okay, when is it safe to start ejaculating again?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very commanding voice as well. He's got a very sort of like authoritative voice on him too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see, he could have just frozen some of his juice before uhm, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then maybe you wouldn't have had to do a full reversal, they could have just done some test tube stuff with his juice or whatever and then boom, more kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, yeah. No, I was just reaffirming, like, your decision as well, with some second-hand factoids that I've been presenting over the years through being the father of three children, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I made a mistake. Now I do need to shave my balls. Can I please have my manscape?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's definitely some pubis in there, I can't get out. Maybe you guys will have some better luck, but, uh, yeaah, here you go, here's your Shaperback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I had to shave my balls, I would be like, oh, this is, this is a bit weird, you know, this is a bit fruity, like my balls are like totally shaved or whatever. I'd feel like, I'd probably feel a bit horny at that point. I'll be honest with you. I hope that doesn't offend you or make you feel uncomfortable, but it's just a me thing, I guess. I don't know. I don't know if anyone else feels that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jackson, uh, after he passed away as well, because he was working on a big, uh, a big tour and then they still went ahead with it, but they used like that hologram technology with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do I know about that song? Basically what it says to you, it is this small world after all. It's a celebration of all the different cultures and races and people on the earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a small world after all? Uhm, I don't know. And actually come to think of it, as many times as I've been on It's a Small World the Ride, because I've been to a couple of different Disney's throughout my 26 years on this earth, it's weird. It does feel like such a weird throwback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was in the original Disney park and then they just kept it because it was popular, but it is a bit of a trip going on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Small World is just a park-specific thing though. I don't think it appears in any of their media.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I think that's it. I think it is just, it just started life as a ride. And then they probably, because the song became popular over, you know, multiple generations or whatever, they probably just thought, oh, we could probably just make some toys that features it or whatever. But I'm sure that it started as a ride. As a ride. I'm just wondering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ride itself is, uh, is insanely popular. Every time I've been to a Disney where they have that ride, there's a queue for miles to get onto it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should get that set up, uh, permanently in Vegas or something. Like when the, when the tour is done, that'd be cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a weird way, I don't know, like it's a little bit, like on one hand I'll listen to like really hard gangster rap and then on the other hand I kinda like ABBA as well, so I don't know. What can you do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Motion capture, uh, Elvis and then CGI am on and then everybody can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess none of this would really impact it if Adele did it because the show would still be boring as hell, so uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what? I think the cost of living in general in Canada is just skyrocketed as well, right? It's hard to buy property there now. It's hard to, it's hard to just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What can I do while I'm there, though? Make it worth my while. It's like, do they do any, like, uh, like, uh, conventions or anything there? Maybe they'll do BlizzCon Wisconsin or something, or, you know, something like, something fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] BlizzConson, yeaah, maybe they'll do BlizzConson or maybe, uh, yeaah, like, uh, I'm trying to think, uh, if there's, uh, maybe like Wu-Tang will like, uh, tour Wisconsin at some point or something that I can go and see them and, and then two birds with one stone, you know, visit Wisconsin, eat some cheese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, okay. Well, now I guess maybe they can direct their angry emails at you now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get one of those, uh, you can get one of those, um, seasonal lights for your office flax. It's like a really bright light. Apparently it can add some pep to your step.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is it? Seasonal something disorder? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, you can just get a big light for that or like flax is doing, you can have some vitamin D supplements, go outside for a walk. Man, I think we all should probably exercise more than we do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It works. It works. I completed so many quests last time I played just doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I would, I would lay down in a bush and then I'd go make a tea or whatever, come back. In game, I would eat and drink because I'd be almost dead. And then, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then yea, any quests where I had to like kill scavs with a certain weapon or anything like that, you're free. After about 20 minutes, most players are done. They're all loaded up and they've left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, for me, it's fun enough, I don't hate it. I didn't feel that, I didn't like the combat at all. It's, it's, it suffers from the same, yeaah, it feels janky and it suffers from the same thing a lot of those like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So often, nothing connects, you know? Like, I'm using a dagger and I'm following somebody, I'm right up against them, I'm stabbing and it's just not hitting them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sucks to think though, and I'm speaking for myself here, every time I die, somebody feels like that about me. You know, like, you get Robocop comes down, comes out of a room and just sees me fumbling around trying to pick up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a punish, punishingly difficult game, so it will lend itself perfectly to, uh, the entire spectrum of, uh, the game's player base complaining about the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like every game though, it has issues for sure. There's definitely some weird audio issues with the game. There's definitely weird desync. There's definitely hacking and cheats in the game. Like, you know, there's the sort of staple complaints, but then yeah, there'll be, there'll be matchmaking complaints. There'll be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For every game, but again, it's a game where you can just build these beautiful things and enclosures and stuff. So the subreddit is all about, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People posting pictures of these incredible things that they've made so that you can go on there and be inspired and do the same or copy it or whatever, you know what I mean? But there's like no complaining. The only time there's any complaints is if like one of the DLCs is like not as good as the other ones or whatever, you know what I mean? Like it'll be little things like that, but for the most part it's all very positive, you know? It's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I have played so much Hitman Freelancer, it's unbelievable. That's it? How is it? It's great!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, it's like, uhm, it uses all the maps from the campaigns of Hitman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, so Hitman 3 has now combined all of the Hitmans together in like the new engine that they used for Hitman 3 or whatever, or maybe it's the old one. I don't know, but everything is accessible through one game now. You can play all of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hitman 1 campaigns, Hitman 2 campaigns, all the DLC, everything, and it's all in one game. So you can go back to all the maps and do all the achievements and challenges and shit like that. Uh, but then there's this new mode called Freelancer. It's kind of hard to explain, but you, you're, you have a safe house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you can slowly build up over time. It's all cosmetic unlocks just for, you know, completing, completing stuff, but it's pretty detailed and,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And neat as well, if you like that sort of thing. And you basically go off on missions and it, it's taken each map and then it just adds, you know, one to four targets and it, you know, like it'll just randomly pick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the NPCs on the map to be a target and then you just spawn in somewhere, work your way towards the target, take them out and then leave the map, right? And so this is all done over a campaign. There's like four stages to the campaign and then there's uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Different difficulties for each map. So you, you, you, you pick like a dossier and you'll get like three maps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Randomly. And there's like a theme to each dossier as well. So like, you can do like assassination, so there'll be bonuses for you killing things with sniper rifles or silent pistols or whatever. And there's other ones where there's bonuses for like poisoning targets or drowning them or killing them with traps. Like it, it lends itself to all these different play styles in the game and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You pick the mission, but the, the targets in the mission are randomized and then some of like the, some of the particulars about the mission.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, yeah, and then you lose, you lose stuff, but, but you gain like all of the weapons in the game you can collect in your, in your, uh, safe house. Like there's this huge gun rack and melee rack. So it's like a trophy room effectively. And then you have like what are called freelancer tools and there are things like remote explosives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A fiber wa- and you- there's like, uh, there's like weights and stuff as well. So, you know, if you take a sniper rifle, it weighs three and you might only have like 11 gear capacity, right? So all of a sudden you're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Challenges within the challenges as well, uh, that unlock trophies that get displayed around your safe house and shit as well. It's so good. It's, it's just really good. I hated it at first cause it was so hard, but now that I'm really into it, I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played Hitman 2 a lot, when uh, chat convinced me to play Hitman 2, and I'd never played a Hitman game, and it was uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hitman 2, you could play the first level for free if you remember. That was the big, the big thing. It was almost like a demo. You could play the first level for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a good, good map, but a lot of the Hitman maps are really good, really well designed, just really, really fun to, really fun sandboxy maps to just go around murdering people and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, there's stuff you can do like that in freelancer, but it's a bit more like, imagine, imagine like, uh, like rifts in Diablo, you know, like there is definitely like a sort of randomized element to it where they've,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's everything. Yeah. World of Assassination is just like the default category for all the Hitman games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a free, it's a free update and it's just a, it's just a, a new game mode, but I've really, really been enjoying it. It's great. And, uh, you like, you have a vault that you unlock after like, I think it's like level 10 or something. You unlock a vault and when you go in there, it's just like, you've got like a computer hooked up to the stock market that you can, you can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Use like three times a day and sometimes you lose a lot of money or sometimes you make a lot of money. And uhm, as you earn more and more money, riches start appearing in your vault. So like there's like pallets like full of cash, there's gold bars, there's like paintings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just this spectacular mansion, like out in the woods. And then as you progress through it and you level up through it, you just unlock these new cosmetics for it so you can get more paintings, living room furniture, like you can deck out your bedroom. And you can, and then you can get like a mixing unit so you can mix your own poisons and shit. Like, uh, you've got like the gun rack downstairs and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can hold all your melee weapons and everything. It's, it's, it's, it's good fun. So worth checking out for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's fallen out with- he's fallen out with- fallen out of love with Blood Bowl. It's happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I can try to, it's been a while since I've played it, but yeah, I can probably walk you through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting, getting set up is, uh, is a little bit difficult, but once you, once you've got set up and you've got like an industry, it, uh, it starts to open up a little bit. And then certainly getting into getting logistics trains and shit like that. It's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh nice. Flax, have you played, uh, have you played Surviving Mars?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is difficult, yeaah, I think it's meant to be really good once you get decent at it though. I don't doubt it, but it's not so-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got a whole bunch of other surviving games now too, right? Like surviving the abyss, which is like an underwater one. They got surviving the apocalypse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chaps, listen, I have to go and stand out on my driveway and get some vitamin D with the builders, so uhm, we have to wrap up. Thank you everyone for listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also solve a lot of problems along the way, am I right? God, we are gonna put the world right, and by right I mean far right, if you know what I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm pretty sure, uh, like, uh, native people would have done some archery for hunting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The discovery of fire, or being able to wield fire, right? To make fire, yea, the ability to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I feel like fire is something that like, yeah, sure, they figured out how to, how to, you know, create the spark to light a fire or whatever, but they would have seen fire before that as well, right? Naturally in the world, like if they were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would have been stone for sure, right? It would have been just... Yeaah, probably...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, little tiny pterodactyls, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we think of these inventions though, we're thinking of how we sort of receive new stuff, right? Like when the calendar was invented, like one person used it for like decades before other people were like, oh, hang on, actually that is maybe kind of useful now that I've


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But some forms of writing would have ex- would have potentially existed before that though, because I think a big push for writing would have been, uh, religion and organized religion, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know though, I think there would have been some sort of record of what people were...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you even look at sort of like the medieval and maybe pre-medieval ages, writing wasn't something that everybody did. Writing was something that like one or two people did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, but that stuff does evolve into what we know it today though, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I'm saying though. I think that earlier forms of writing were probably to do with religion in some way, shape or form, right? Cause it requires it to be handed down and for people to follow it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think farming is super important for sure. I would agree with farming, but I just had questions around the sequencing and stuff.


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[Assistant] You kinda had to figure it out by piecing bits of crap that you find in the ground together rather than having it written out for you, right? Maybe.


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[Assistant] Like, uh, I think engineering and mathematics have gotta be the big ones.


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[Assistant] I think discovering the usefulness of horses would have just happened no matter what, whereas discovering mathematics was maybe less likely than the usefulness of horses, you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but maybe the first person who ever rode a horse just did it as a joke. Oh Jean-Pierre, you're hilarious! Get off of that steed! But no! Jean-Luc, look what I can do! I can plow a field!


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[Assistant] I gotta say that for me, it's education in this list. Like, cause I think again, it's, it, it, you know, actually formalizing education and, and,


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[Assistant] Sort of setting a, like a baseline for some sort of education is probably more, uh, important for the long term, uh, over like a lot of the, the sort of immediate things, right? Like the, like a, like the code of chivalry, I don't think is that, is, is huge, long reaching. I agree.


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[Assistant] Oh, castles are cool for sure. And the fact that a lot of them are still more or less around shows that like, they knew what they were doing to some extent back then.


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[Assistant] It actually on the list fully says printing press. Just saying.


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[Assistant] Banking in the Renaissance area is like the bank in Mary Poppins though, right? It's like that. It's not like the banking we know today. It's important enough, but I don't think it's the most important thing in the era.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think if you're gonna say mass production, which I could agree with, but I think, I think industrial is done then because you, if you're saying mass production, then in the industrial area, you, you just have to take industrialization, right? Over anything else.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think probably that, honestly. Like, I think it's gotta be the most important thing, right? And probably the basis for a lot of the important things that happen, too, right? Without it, you don't have a lot of the stuff that comes out of it. That's what I think, anyway.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. There's so many good ones in modern, it's crazy.


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[Assistant] Combustion's kinda nuts, electronics kinda nuts, flight's kinda nuts, plastics is pretty nuts.


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[Assistant] What about refrigeration though? It's gotta be a big one too, right?


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[Assistant] Flight is huge. It is, it is, it is big, but I don't know if it's, if it's like a, like honestly a bigger deal than refrigeration. Like maybe you guys will think I'm nuts, but I think refrigeration is...


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[Assistant] This refrigeration, don't forget that refrigeration is important for not only preserving, uh, and lengthening the freshness of food,


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[Assistant] I think refrigeration is something that improves the, the, the quality of our health and lives, right? More so than electronics. I mean, electronics in, in medicine, obviously for modern medicine is, is a huge thing too.


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[Assistant] If you're thinking of electronics in a day to day sense, there's a lot of electronics


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[Assistant] Uh, it does as well because it's, uh, cause, cause coming back to what we're saying about energy and energy powering everything, heating, heating homes, uh, providing you with a means to actually cook your, your food and prepare your food and, and, and, and, and therefore prolong your, your life and be, uh, hopefully healthier and stuff like that. I would put up there too, but I think penicillin is, is just such a, such a, such a simple one. Is that on the list? Penicillin? It is, yeah. In the atomic era, yeah. It's got its own one on it.


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[Assistant] You can have refrigeration without electricity.


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[Assistant] I still feel, though, that, like, my only understanding of it all is, uh, it really is just a Flintstone, so, like, I can't get past... Right. It's the visual. It's the visual, y'know?


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[Assistant] I mean, I'd like, uh, thinking about the future just quickly as well. Like if we're getting into, if we're looking at future tech and we're looking at like say the holodeck, a lot of the stuff that we've added on the list, but also the, the, the thing we added to, to our big up of the week as well are all important for those things because without


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[Assistant] I gotta go with the net, guys. I gotta go with the internet. For me, it's the internet, for sure. Man, I love the internet. Like, I hate it and I love it at the same time, but like, uh, I can't imagine, like, uh, what a day of my life would be without the internet, honestly. Like, it is just, it is the best.


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[Assistant] I guess my assumption is that they're gonna be awful until I have met them, and then if they turn out to be really nice, which, actually, Joe-Op, most of the ones I actually have ended up meeting have turned out to be super, super nice, or at least on the surface. Including Karl Walker? Uh, well, no. You haven't changed your mind? Not in that specific case. But I think, uh, look.


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[Assistant] I also, we did a, we went out to a thing yesterday, we did some axe throwing.


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[Assistant] Oh, how was it? It was fun. Karl Walker was there. Was Karl Walker there doing better than you? I kept chucking the, um, axes over the top of the target. Right. And I was like, still better than the old England Strikers though, wait!


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[Assistant] Yes I was, yes I was. I listened to your information for like five minutes. The thing is I saw everyone else chucking these axes, like everyone was doing axe throwing, and the instructor is like, he's got this gigantic axe and he stood like a fucking meter away from the target, and obviously he just like...


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[Assistant] Just touch, like, it's like he's throwing a dart so gently, like, you know, he's got his pinky stuck out, he's like, ah. Like into the dartboard, right?


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[Assistant] And it's like, you're throwing a fucking axe. You wanna, you're trying to chop an orc's head off with that shit, not fucking...


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[Assistant] Anyway, I obviously watched other people do it, which was the other people I was with then.


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[Assistant] Tom Duncan, and they're all following the instructor, and- You just thought you knew better. Sometimes they were looking a little bit cool, but mostly they were not looking cool, uhm, doing it. And I think it was because they weren't putting any- Umph into it. Beast into it, any like, any, any anger.


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[Assistant] You don't even give them a chance. Maybe that is it. Maybe as an England footballer, I'm expecting some of the more interesting ones, you know, like the panellists on match of the day, you know, those, those charismatic.


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[Assistant] I feel like your whole garden is not, it's not a gigantic green space. It's not an acre. Or even, I mean, I think a prisoner who was imprisoned in your garden would be disappointed by the cell he was given. Do you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] It's like five paces across. It's not a huge garden. Like ten paces long. It's enough. It's not great. It's, but- It's enough.


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[Assistant] I don't think anyone else- I mean, compared to the street you're on, actually, you've probably got a bigger garden than most of the people, but I don't know if it's like, uhm, that. Do you know what I mean? Like, what's the footprint of you getting rid of a flower bed compared to, like,


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[Assistant] Oh, that one? I mean, you might as well replace that with a fuckin' plant, plant, plant. No, no, there's just nothing there.


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[Assistant] But I know that the email wasn't serious either, I appreciate that. I enjoyed it. It's great to get an update.


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[Assistant] I think this all comes from the idea that something like 30 or 40% of people in America think they can fight a deer when they want to win, right? Whereas in fact, what we're dealing with here is, like, yeah, a lone... a killing machine. If he doesn't have a fucking beard, and maybe a-


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[Assistant] I think we can see, like, individual badass humans who know what they're doing, winning bouts against wild animals that are on berserk mode, fighting to the death in a cage match.


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[Assistant] Um, sorry, sorry BA-29, I'm currently fighting a deer with my best friend.


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[Assistant] Wild animals have whatever it is called the flight distance where...


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[Assistant] They have a varied amount of distance they will come to things like you. If they see human, they'll stay a certain distance away. Different animals have different.


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[Assistant] It's even thought that actually cats have domesticated themselves, uhm, they didn't even like, they weren't even bred to be, uhm, kinda like, well I guess they were bred and they are bred now to be specific.


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[Assistant] That's stupid, yeah. Also, I really don't get the, let's do it on hard, right, because these days, it's meant to be a


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[Assistant] I like the idea of some holes in knowledge, right? I like the idea that based on what kind of alien life and where you evolved and the things you need and require for your species, and also in a sense, what's in demand, you know, everything is driven on this planet by demand, right? If people


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[Assistant] Want something and it's, then we will push down. That's why we've got so much technology when it comes to phones and the directions that we've gone. And there's holes in our knowledge of things that are less of a problem. You know, like not too many people have this disease, therefore the fuck


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[Assistant] We don't know how to fix it, right, because it's not worth our time putting in that effort, right, for ten people.


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[Assistant] Yeah, where they meet these aliens, like, not really, spoiler, but, uhm, and the aliens have, like, not necessarily the same overlapping knowledge as humanity does, and so they know things we...


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[Assistant] Well at the same time though, they'd only discover the things that are in that route to the core principles that explain the universe and allow them to get the technology to get into space for the first time, right? There's a huge amount of things you need to know to build a spaceship or, you know, get to the


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[Assistant] Yeah, all these, I watch all those things, they're great, and they're fascinating to me, and I don't understand, honestly, like, I usually with them for the first three minutes of the YouTube video, and then they lose me. Same. This is a little bit like when I was doing maths at school, I was with them for a bit, and then I lost them, and I


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[Assistant] Just about made it through to the end of the lesson. Do you know what I mean? I feel like that's generally my feeling. I've never quite been fully... I'm fascinated by... I just like the soothing, smart people.


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[Assistant] Have to solve it again, but it, it, it, but if it's not like something that's a core problem, um, or, or, or a core, a core like roadblock in.


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[Assistant] They may well have used different scales in the same way that we, we have picked things that we feel appropriate to us, right? In a sense like, you know, uhm, water freezes at zero or a hundred, but also we got the Fahrenheit scale, which has a different frame of reference, right?


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[Assistant] So exactly, but all of our measurements and factors are based on things that we'd like to think would be universal.


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[Assistant] Just for people who don't, this looks like, um, one of those hats that you wear, you pull over your head, you know, it's just like a cover. It's like a crappy little cover.


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[Assistant] You are, you are, that's what it is here. There's different, different ones.


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[Assistant] Now, I have accidentally touched a couple of boobs. Right. Through clothes, but again, like, not... Not knowingly.


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[Assistant] At the time. Right. And I wonder how, how many, on average, are, like, on average boob touchers, uhm, accidental, and how many are groppers? Right, how many- cause women get their bums touched and pinched and slapped and like- Right, right. Well it used to happen a lot lot more. It was very very common. It probably still does happen. Of course.


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[Assistant] I think every woman I know, I've spoken to about this, has had a story about some guy groping him or touching him inappropriately.


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[Assistant] So I think- I think it's one of these, like, it's one of those nasty things from Pickup as well, which they're like, they refer to as Kino, which is where you're supposed to, like, if you're flirting with someone, you're supposed to, like, physically touch them, like, like playfully, like, oh, ahaha, and touch them on the arm. Oh god. You're not reading it, I'm not touching that.


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[Assistant] People with IBS have, like, bowel urgency, you know what I mean? And it's kind of, it can be a whole thing that develops over time, or it can be a symptom of something... You know, they say if you have significant changes in your digestive routine, you should see someone.


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[Assistant] So my flat is still 25 or 6 in it though, like it's not cooling down. I've got the windows open but it's like a heat trap.


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[Assistant] I'm buying a place. I was looking at this, uhm, apartment in, on the harbour side.


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[Assistant] And I don't know what facing it is, north facing, south facing, whatever the one, it had these big windows, so it got the sun all day. And it was obviously a place that got so hot in summer that they had to install aircon, like it came as standard place, right? And I was like, so surprised by that. And then what I actually noticed, I told


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[Assistant] Is that I noticed that all of the, um, like the seals around the windows and stuff had like melted and a lot of other bits and stuff around the flat had like melted in the sun and it was partly because they'd actually ripped out the aircon whole system at some point. Obviously it had been malfunctioning or they had kept it maintained or it had been some legacy system.


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[Assistant] You know, like we don't have a lot of air con companies in this country that do this stuff. Right. Or at least do it properly. And so.


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[Assistant] That's so often the thing, I always find this stuff, like, like it's the same thing with, you know, oh, can't get the parts anymore, mate, for this thing, you know, you know, I know the door's fallen off, but we can't get the hinges anymore, we don't make them. It's like, well, fucking, what do you mean? You know, just fucking figure it out. And they're like, no, no, I have to replace the whole gazebo, mate.


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[Assistant] I realised we're gonna have more of these events, but are we like, it's probably gonna be cold for the next couple of weeks, then it'll be hot for another week, and then we're done, you know, and we've rolled it out. Most of the time you can tough it out in the UK.


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[Assistant] And honestly, like what is this? So I've got, I've got like a couple of problems in my flat, but one of the ones is like a couple of the lights.


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[Assistant] Have gone, and they've got this weird square bracket, and I talked about it before on something, and people said, oh, they sent me loads of pictures, and they were like, oh, Lewis, it's the...


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[Assistant] LG light socket fixture. Oh, this is the fucking WA 109. And I'm like, it was none of those. I Googled it and I couldn't find it anywhere. So.


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[Assistant] I just don't have a light there, and I'm okay. Yeah, just get some lamps. Just get some plug-in lamps. And there's also a bunch of those, um, fancy spotlights. I have, I've just got a bunch of plug-in lamps. It's nice, anyway. I've got a bunch of these spotlights, they're always on the fritz, you know, you can tap them, and they just, the bulbs don't fit properly and they're really really cheap, and they're shit.


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[Assistant] There's tons and tons of these things, right? Anyway, I've got a red- like, an old dishwasher, which obviously was installed.


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[Assistant] When the flats were built, which was probably 30, 40 years ago now. No, can't be that long. 20 years. Who knows? But anyway, it looks like an original. So I think they converted the flats in the nineties. So it must be 20 years old, this dishwasher. Anyway, um, the, the, the dishwasher tray, the bottom tray, I used to put like, um,


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[Assistant] And this is what I thought, right, I thought trying to get a dishwashing tray is like gonna be an absolute fucking- That is gonna be an impossibility. So anyway, I did a little bit of googling, I found one for like fifty quid, uhm, which, again, I looked at, because it's an inbuilt dishwasher, the only thing I had was the serial number, which, when I googled it, didn't go to anything.


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[Assistant] To me that was like, worth it though, because the trade, I mean, I'd lost like, I'd say like, ten or fifteen of the pegs and it was getting worse, to the point where there was like, little flecks of like, rust or something coming out.


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[Assistant] I don't think they use recycled plastic for water bottles, but they do for making, like, gardens. Sure, yeah, like there's tons of stuff that they can- One positive thing I saw this week was Simon Clarke was talking about, was, he came around and we were chatting about stuff, and he was talking about how, uhm, something like


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[Assistant] 25%, yeah, like look, there's 25% of our daily national grid in the UK is wind.


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[Assistant] Which is huge when you think about it, like that we can generate 25% of our power from wind. We've got these really big banks of turbines offshore, actually, because apparently the North Sea...


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[Assistant] Keep em coming. Keep em coming. Yes. Be good to each other. Bye!


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[Assistant] I got a, I got a question to start the day off with. Something that was puzzling me last night. I know we're straight into it. We're straight into it. Deep and profound? It's not very profound at all. I was watching, one of the things, I think I've mentioned it before, that I like watching is tennis players freaking out.


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[Assistant] They're such babies, they are such babies, like one call goes against them, it's like five minutes of haranguing the umpire, and the guys, it's so stupid cause they're down low and the guy's up on that little sort of chair like a lifeguard, looking down at them, and they're like just arguing, it's like arguing with god or something, it's so ridiculous.


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[Assistant] So here's my question anyway, I was just watching those meltdown vids and one of the things you're not allowed to do is the audience or the crowd is not allowed to make a noise


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[Assistant] While the point is on. Like they're meant to be quiet. So when the guy's about to serve...


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[Assistant] You're not allowed, if somebody goes, hey, they go, uh, quiet please.


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[Assistant] And everybody can't, everybody, everybody's allowed to make as much noise as they'd like. I'm gonna try and score, uh, uh, something in rugby. I'm trying to make a conversion in rugby. They're gonna say, crowd, everybody be quiet, please. Everybody be quiet. Shhh, no, no talking. Why just these sports? I mean, it occurred to me, obviously, they're solo sports. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I guess the idea is I'll let them concentrate and be quiet. But one thing I realized was that these sports, especially tennis and golf, were sort of the gentlemanly, sort of, you know, the etiquette based, not for the hoi polloi and the proles, this is for the gentle folk.


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[Assistant] What the fuck, man? I mean, you're telling me you're a professional athlete, you do this all day, every day, and some noise when you're trying to play tennis is gonna put you off? How come that's not put you off?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very, it's actually against the rules. If you're in the crowd at tennis, you're not allowed to talk. They all say, quiet please, quiet please. If you didn't shut up, they'd boot you out. Yeah, they'd boot you out. And I'm just thinking, it's weird, isn't it?


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[Assistant] Exotic materials not of this earth are not man-made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the, the more, uh, widely, uh, unexplained aerial phenomena.


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[Assistant] You know, it could be any, it's just an aerial phenomena, we don't know what it is. And rather than saying it's a flying object,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might be something else. It might not be an object. It might just be a phenomena of some kind. So I think it is probably a better term. Uhm, so these UAPs that the, the US Navy, the, the uhm, are, they unsecretified, I've forgotten the word so that's the best way I can find to put it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the, the sort of footage and these guys saying, well, look at that thing and all this kind of stuff, but there's all kinds of things to do with parallax and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something very low to the ocean looks like it's traveling much faster than it is and things look different through a flare lens and all this kind of stuff, so.


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[Assistant] Or who made them, but we found them. So, it's an interesting one for sure.


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[Assistant] Previously it was like, literal science fiction, there's no way that we could really think of a serious way to get from one place to another in enough time that it wasn't like time dilated to fuck and you ended up going there and your entire civilization had died by the time you got back, all this kind of shit.


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[Assistant] First of all, I am a massive skeptic when it comes to the idea that we will ever travel at faster than light and get between places and warp speed and all that shit. I really don't think we'll get there.


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[Assistant] I think the distance between our star and other stars is so fucking vast and we're just not built for it.


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[Assistant] Our brains aren't built for it, our bodies aren't built for it, our lifespan is too short, and I just think in terms of the resources and everything, as we understand physics, it would be so costly to get a ship full of people from one place to another at a decent percentage of the speed of light that it would be worth the journey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but hold on, we're just talking about something is in the sky and people don't know what it is.


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[Assistant] I'm saying, the question was that if this turned out to be definitively, yes, aliens have actually been here, your response was, eh, who cares? There's no way to change my mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stuff that we claim to have seen, people will be saying, well, that can be clearly explained as this, that, and the other. Like, our understanding of the atmosphere and shit that you see and human perception is still not perfect. Like, we've got a very good idea about, about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why we're so shit at deciding what something is is still, you know, it's not like a hard science, I don't think. Maybe correct me if I'm wrong, of course, but the way thing, the way, like you said, all the things you've listed.


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[Assistant] So here's my question. If this, I know that they just decided to, like I was saying about to desecratify a bunch of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it turns out that we really do have exotic materials, bits of spacecraft from aliens, it begs a few questions. First of all, why are they so shit at flying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if they would travel that far. I don't know if it's possible. They might just be sending over little probes or drones or something. And maybe as the years go by, their shit gets better. But it still is fascinating to think, from my perspective, the thing I'm most interested in.


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[Assistant] Of Gabon 4. Yes. Like, and it'd be like, wow, this is like a whole new history. And you'd have people studying alien history and learning all about all their myths and legends and everything, it would be incredible. They might even have a whole bunch of movies we've never seen!


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[Assistant] M-E-I-N-H-O-F was a West German far left Marxist Leninist urban guerrilla group founded in 1970. Jesus.


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[Assistant] Uhm, with Elliot Gould and a bunch of other people. Telly Savalas is in it. Uh, Ahuja Simpson is in it, oddly enough. It's about the faking of a moon landing where they film it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The conspiracy theories have always been around. The JFK assassination for example, I was literally thinking about that this morning. Uhm, because, you know, it was just one of those things that just popped into my mind. A friend of mine is very into, into JFK conspiracy stuff. Not as a nut, but he's just interested in


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to figure out what about this stuff is actually true. Right.


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[Assistant] 100%. 100%. Just, they're just grifters, you know, they're just...


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[Assistant] Groups of far-right nuts have been able to congregate together and find forums and websites where instead of just having to go to a group meeting,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no. Was it Buzz Aldrin? No, no, wait, not saying, like, there's a misappropriated, I think that's the word, misattributed quote where he's saying that we didn't go to the moon. Are you talking about that one or the fact that they saw- I can't remember. So they saw when they were on one of the flights, I think it was either, I think it might have been Buzz Aldrin or it might have been Neil Armstrong.


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[Assistant] I mean, so the thing with Flat Earth in particular, the reason I think it appeals to a lot of people, I follow a couple of Twitter accounts that sort of debunk Flat Earth stuff, uhm, and debunk evolution stuff. So these are people who will say things like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Earth is flat. They don't understand the scale of the planet. How far away or how high you'd have to be to see the curvature. You've really gotta go up to near space. You can't see it from an aeroplane. You are too low to see the curvature of the Earth. It is such a big thing.


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[Assistant] You cannot wrap your tiny brain around it. And unfortunately, a lot of people have this ego where if they can't see it, they don't understand it, it's obviously just not true. It's much easier for them to believe that it's not true and we're being lied to because they can imagine that and they can understand that.


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[Assistant] But they can't understand something that they can't see with their own two eyes. And that's the problem, I think, with science as we get


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[Assistant] I mean, we saw with the TikTok hearings that the idea that, oh, a senator said this!


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[Assistant] And I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as the people who think the government is out to get them. And almost inevitably it's an anti-Semitic conspiracy. The Jews are controlling our minds as usual. That's the way a lot of these conspiracy theories go.


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[Assistant] But also, Catholicism, like I think it was Martin Luther, uhm, was a big anti-Semite, like hated the Jews, because of course a lot of Catholics, and by extension then probably a lot of Christians, felt that the Jews were the ones who had killed Jesus, like they'd got him killed. So they saw them as their sort of enemy, if you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, this is not some harmless shit. This is like, awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a lot of people nowadays on the left still do this, is this idea that, oh, they've always been into money. Everybody used to lend money. And then the church, the Christian church said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember you can borrow money from the Jews in your kingdom and then expel them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but here's the weird thing, is that you know the way that this is really popular? You see this, I see this fucking on TikTok all the time. Luckily I don't see it in its raw form, but I see it in the debunking form. So people doing a stitch with these idiots saying things like, this is a famous one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I don't know why people always put gravitas on stuff that happened in the past. And I think the conspiracy theory about, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] MK Ultra and all that shit, like that, that was, but that's the danger, I think, when we talk about what's the danger of these conspiracy theories, really, is that you can basically, it's like saying fake news. You can have an actual conspiracy that is actually real and damaging and just say, oh, this is clearly just a conspiracy hoax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there are things you are allowed to have an opinion about. You can have an opinion about whether Liverpool should fire their manager. Or you can have an opinion about whether semi-skimmed milk is as good as full fat. Those are opinions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to see that. Do you want to end the podcast, or do you want me to just read very quickly this email that I thought was good, that Lewis wanted me to read? Oh yeah, please go for it. Read a good email. Okay. It's very long, so I'll sum it up for you guys. This is called The Great Stirrup Controversy. Right. Right. If I pronounce your name wrong, Matus, I apologise. Oh, he has a YouTube channel. Mateus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so his last name is Laser, which is awesome by the way. So the idea is that, so I'll summarize, this is the most interesting paragraph.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cavalry existed, but small numbers, limited effectiveness, because they haven't got fucking stirrups. You do anything, you're gonna fall off your horse. The stirrup turns up, and suddenly the most effective fighting force became the mounted horse rider. I know I saw a thing about cavalry as like the tanks of the era. Like, you cannot stand against these things. I mean, imagine 400


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Medieval heavy shock cavalry could not exist without the stirrup, and the most famous type of combat, jousting, would be impossible. As such, thanks to the stirrup, a class of horse-riding, landed nobility emerged, which it could traverse to countryside farce, collect taxes more efficiently, fight more effectively, and so there became a class divide and the birth of chivalry and feudalism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, you're gonna do what you're gonna do. What I'm saying is, we did, they did that under a monarchy, but, I mean, we still have the monarchy in this country today. Yeah. And you wanna complain about that? Well, there you go, the fucking stirrup. There's your enemy. Tweet at, at stirrup. Fuck you. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know. Well, you know, this is what happens when you get older. You know, you just talk about how sick you all are, and how sick your friends are, and how sick everyone is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's more that I'm just, I haven't done, it's more that I'm, I think it is worth having these yearly checkups and, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, so I mean, I'm obviously, we're British as well, right? So it's like, well, I'm not gonna go and ask anyone if I'm sick, because most of the time they'll just be like, you're fine, go away, don't waste my time, it's more important. Look, that old lady, she's about to keel over, do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not so much like the embarrassment of the ass, it's the embarrassment of bothering someone, you know, who's busy and important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I mean? Like putting them out, you know, it's not a waste of their time. Yeah. I don't know. There is that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you're paying for it, it's different, but because it's all like, because the NHS is this subsidised thing, which is obviously great in the UK, but it's, there is this element of like thinking, well, you know, someone else might need it more than I do. Right. And so you can put stuff off. So I probably should, and I will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since last year, after TwitchCon, I got very sick and ever since I've kind of had this like recurring kind of getting fever and getting sick for a few days. And I think initially I just thought it was, oh, I must have flu because it was kind of flu like type stuff. But I think it's so recurring now that I'm like actually worried it is something. Like a dormant recurrence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. I think, yeaah, again, it's the gentleness, right? Like, I think that some people could go ham on the massage, um, and like really, I'm a puny kind of thin guy, right? I don't want a big beefy guy with hairy knuckles coming and like snapping my back in half. Yeah, well, it's not right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's a lot less in the same way that there's male nurses, but there's a lot less.


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[Assistant] I don't know. It's a bit, you don't understand other people's kinks. You're like, like feet's such a common one, right? But, but it's, it's confusing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's because we're just turning the cusp of this long winter. Everyone is like looking at the sun and then thinking, oh, we had like an afternoon of vaguely warm weather and then it pauses raining again. You know, we're almost, we're almost at summertime, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it like being away for like four, well four weeks without, you know, in non-English speaking countries?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I am actually. Oh my god. Me and Pat are gonna see, uh, Boba in Florida. Oh my god. So we're gonna do a week there. If I'm feeling well enough. Oh, you'll be alright by then, I'm sure. Yeah, that's the hope. We'll see.