[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah man, it's like the way forward for sure. I mean you do have to pay income tax, like don't be fooled, like there is still tax to be paid, and uh, and big social bills as well, you gotta pay a lot of social over here, but uhm, like the corporate tax savings, great, and also you can invest in weed now too, so it's looking up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really good. It's like, it's UHT milk though, like it's, you know, it's not like fresh chocolate milk. I mean it is, but it's, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're worth what I think all in like you're like now they're, it's like a hundred grand or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, so these buy orders might not be the actual, uh, price that it's worth though. Like it might be worth 60 grand, but the buy order might be like 50 grand, so like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're mining a bitcoin, so like, uh, presumably you buy a bunch of graphics cards or something, you need a lot of processing power. How, like, you know, do you just wake up one morning and on your screen it says, you mined a bitcoin, like if you're lucky enough?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But always at the whatever price it's at now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so I like the shit. I wish they'd do that over here, man. There's shit on the road all the time. Like, when I walk my kids to school, we're always looking down. Only down. Same! You have to. There's shit everywhere. You should get a spray paint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like also, we've solved a lot of the problems in the world as well. Just through having a simple chat. Just a simple little chat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A proper scrumpy should come in a jug with a hoop at the net. A triforce branded jug?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I actually, uhm, I didn't know any DMX songs apart from that X can't give it to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess the other thing is, is he'd have to go through the whole hoo-ha, you know, what is it, uh, not commiserated. Jubilating. Jubilating, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's utterly bizarre that people- It is. Like, it's just, uhm, it's such an odd historical hangover, the whole royal family thing. Yeah. From, you know, I mean, we are still, as a monarchy, lest we forget, you know, we've got some weird thing where she's still the head of the state and the church and all the rest of it, it's odd. Yeah. It's very odd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just very strange, it's very divisive. I know a lot of people who really hate the royal family and what they represent which is, you know, literally you're born into vast wealth and privilege and the fact that it's still there is, is such a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are, these are your, this is your royal family, they're kind of super important and posh and dignitaries. It is, I mean obviously you could just be born the son of Dora of a, of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean it must be weird trying to have friends as a, as a royal because I mean it'd be like being essentially the queen is the most famous person in the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her head is everywhere. Every time you spend money, her face is looking at you right there. She's a, she's a big deal, right? Her match is a big deal. And, uh, I just think it's, it would be impossible to have it like a friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but those other celebrities tend to go out and marry and fuck other celebrities because then you know that you both have a stake in the game. If you would just date some normie, there's a chance that they're recording everything to go sell it to the National Enquirer. Like, there might just be a nut who's looking to bring you down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so it must be, if you're the queen, you couldn't just chill with a couple of homies. It would be, uh, it would be tough. Because who's to say that barrel over there isn't actually snitching to the news of the world?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a, the Americans, you know, hear me out here, Americans, uh, they're fucking obsessed with our royal family. They love it. And they're all, I mean, Oprah interviewed Meghan and Harry, right? Like what, you know, why, why not, uh, someone over here? Because they, they give a real shit. It's the fairy tale thing. Yeah, but they love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, you get 20% off, but you can take 100% off your balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a, I have a show to recommend as well very quickly if I may, which I am extremely late on this, but Line of Judy. Oh yea, my wife


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's great. So I'd never really watched any of it. I'd walked in on Mrs. F watching it. She was like, wrapped. You know, wrapped attention. I was like, what are you watching? She's like, line of G. I was like, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna go so far as to say that this feels like the British wire, in a way. In that characters from previous episodes will pop up, there's quite long story arcs, it's quite detailed and it's very specific to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The procedures of the police, so there's a few things that they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolute bonkers stuff that would, would, blows your mind. But if they interview you when they push a button on the recording and it goes...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's no humour in the show, like to date. In the 12 episodes I've watched, it is a humour-free zone. So the humour is in how seriously they take it. And there's this guy, Ted Hastings, Ted Hastings, who says things like, uh, let me think, he's Northern Irish, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And God give me strength and stuff. And sort of puts his head in his hands. Everybody's very somber and serious. And they seem to hire, when it comes to women that are on the show, they all have to have quite big eyes. And they have to be close. They have to stare quite a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She has big eyes, but there was another lass called Georgia who was in it for a few episodes. She had quite big eyes. It's interesting, because when I was watching Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., all the ladies on that show had to have very big bosoms. Very big bosoms. Like, all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's, it's kind of friendly, the word bosoms. Like if you say tits, that feels like, I mean, you know what I'm, it's the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could say, yes, I hugged him to my bosom. It just means, you know, your, your chesticle area doesn't necessarily mean you've got bosongas there. You might just be like, like I am just ripped and it might just be, geez, just be muscle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was obviously an enormous guy, Andre. I mean, the clue is in his name. You know, Andre.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there was a, there was a podcast where, I think it might have been on the fucking Joe Rogan podcast, which is a shame, but, cause he's a dickhead, but, uh, there was a guy on there who was a wrestler. Casually thrown out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it was a really good story where he said that Andre was like, he didn't speak much English. He was like, beer. So he was like, okay. So he had to stop to get him some beer and he went in and got him like a six pack. He was like, no, a crate of beer. So he had to get like 36 cans of beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in the time it took to drive from, like, the offie to the hotel, which is like an hour's drive or whatever, he'd neck the lot. Like, he drank a huge amount.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah hang. Is it like an expression of um, fatigue and sort of, ah hang, I'm done, forget it, it's over. Yes, it is. Is that what you would say after?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So sir, this is like an odd mix of almost French, some of these, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was like, uh, just regular bread. He was like, nah, this game is from Jersey. Get him out of here. Like he, you know, he had very specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I went to Boston, uh, the other guys, this was for a Dota thing, the other guys were joking about, you know, bang a right or bang a left sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So which six countries do you think are safer than the United Kingdom for driving? There are only six countries in the world with less deaths per year. Which do you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no. God no. Shall I give you one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll give you the two, actually I'll give you three that are, that you'll never get. Italy, they use all the hordes. No, Italy is awful. So, Monaco, Hong Kong, and the federated states of Micronesia, very safe. There are three, there are three, I didn't give you those, I'm giving you those because you'll never get them. I'm giving you three countries that are not that far from us that are safer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Belgium. No. Think of Germany. Denmark. No, think of somewhere where you would think that is the home of safe cars. Norway is one of them. Sweden. Sweden is the other one. What's the third? Switzerland. Switzerland. You've looked it up. You've looked it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, obviously, it's a lot of space for less people, which is a, you know, a good thing, but yea, you're right, you think the weather, but they have, think of Volvo's man, very safe cars, you know, very safe cars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So by the way, for anyone saying, woah, woah, that's cause they got less cars. So if you go per 100,000 motor vehicles per year, the list is not that much changed. San Marino, Norway, Switzerland, Sweden, Finland, us. Then Japan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like what is, do you know what peng means? Yes, peng mate, it's well peng, it's a peng ting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mate, just, just Koch, like if you said that to someone, would that mean just sit? Like, uh, it's difficult because London slang, especially the more modern London slang,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna pull the old, uhm, you know, I'm a parent and I'm too busy to do that kind of stuff card and, uh, I'm a parent and I'm too busy to do that kind of stuff, uh, to go to a store five minutes before it closes just to get like a deal on Spotted Dick or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably a volume thing, right? They probably get a lot of this stuff for cheap anyway. And then, like you said, they massively mark it up. And it's just a gamble, right? And then, because there's trading standards and stuff, and there's certain things that they have to adhere to, like, uh, you know, sell-by dates and all that kind of crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and it looks bad for them if they're selling something that's like on or close to like a sell, sell by or use by date or whatever. They probably just think let's, we're still going to make some money off of this if we just float it off a little bit cheaper or whatever. Because otherwise it's just waste, right? I don't think people are thinking about it as a viable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they would just be corrupted by, with power, and like the power corrupts in the end, right? Like if, uh, if Blizzard storylines told us, taught us anything over the years, uh, it's that, uh, there's, there's some fel in all of us and the power,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My kids are home for like two weeks because they've been back to school since after Christmas and stuff. And uhm, my son is doing like these intensive swimming lessons every day this week, uh, at the same time. So, and uh, so on the first day I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was on, uh, it was on Tuesday. The first one was on Tuesday and, uh, my wife was like, Oh, I gotta take, you know, Kurt to the swimming lesson. I was like, Oh yeah. I'm thinking, I'm just going to go and like do whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't really leave my, like, heavily pregnant wife to do this every day this week. Like, it's not, it's not really fair, so I just thought, ah, fuck it, I'll just take time off. Yeah, that's good. And it's been nice. I mean, I've just been, like, just chilling. It's been really good, actually. I ju- I realized this year I just haven't really had, like, any proper, like, time, not that, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just thinking like without COVID, I would have been away a couple of times like over the year, you know, like we would have gone on a vacation or I would have been away for work and stuff like that. And I just, I've just, just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bought like a little greenhouse that's uh, it needs to like arrive, like it comes next week, but I bought this little greenhouse just to get started. You know, my big dream of having like a big, fully kitted out greenhouse. I just wanted to like baby step into it. I want to get a small one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine there was a whole movie about him just having like, uh, specifically a lot of trouble with like one really well engineered building, like he just couldn't knock that shit down. And he was just like the whole, it was just a very frustrating movie about him just like trying to think of ways to like knock it down, but it would constantly foil all of his efforts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Lector is like the ultimate though, with the psychological bullshit and everything, like, you know, like Freddy, Jason, all like the sort of classic like movie horror monsters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are like, you know, some sort of like possessed demon or whatever, but like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Hannibal. Hannibal was a bit crazy when he, uhm, basically, well, I won't spoil it, I guess. It is weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's not an amazing game, but I mean, I played through the campaign, which was like, I don't know, like 20 hours or something. And uhm, the end game is like you do these expeditions that increase in difficulty, but then you get better loot for them and stuff as well. They're like, they're, they're like time challenges sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, there's like some progression like after the game and stuff, and like the story is left open for there to probably be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it's going to be a sequel or if they're going to do DLCs or whatever. Hopefully it's just DLCs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but uhm, I didn't hate it. You know, like I said, it's a game that probably should have come out like 15 years ago, like it hasn't done anything new, it's just like taken a bunch of existing games and genres and kind of mixed them together and I think it works, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's alright if you're bored and you don't have anything else to play. It's worth playing through it, I think. It's not too bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're very playable. It's predominantly a single player game until you get to end game and then there's some emphasis on teaming up to do these harder challenges, but it's a always online single player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had times because it had just been released and I think they were having some problems with their servers or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had times where literally I was watching a cutscene and then an error message would come up mid cutscene saying you've lost your connection or whatever and you can't watch the cutscene but you can still hear it in the background as it's disconnecting you from the game. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I would love is they just sort of left, you know, like a fraction of the team behind to just keep updating the game, but how awesome would it be if like post the story and stuff, they just released some DLCs that made


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go on to just, you know, do like the, the mundane mechanical stuff of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, uh, you can get it, uh, for a tablet. Like I played it on the plane one time, or I tried to play it on the plane one time. I just couldn't concentrate, I don't know why, like I just couldn't get into it. But it was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The setting for me doesn't click either. Like, I feel like having played a lot of XCOM, like my turn-based tactical games, like I want some guns and stuff, you know, like future guns and grenades and like, you know, grenade launchers and stuff, like I really like that setting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's alright. I think it's, I think it needs some patches or some work, honestly. Like, I think it's pretty good. Like, I think as a successor to a game that came out a long time ago, it feels, it's an evil genius game, you know, like they captured everything really well. I just think some of the mechanics need a little bit of work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can't, uh, in Tropico, it's more like you, you can like, you can make cigars and export them and like, you know, can, can food and stuff, but no, you, you don't really get to do any of the, uh, the other stuff, you know, you don't get to become like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think they have done that with some stuff, but for other stuff like the world map particularly, the whole system of the world map and minions resources and all that kind of stuff, I think it could have been a bit better. Like it just doesn't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it just, you don't get the satisfaction that I felt like you got from the first game of sending people out into the world and doing stuff for you. And the whole way that like heat is generated and stuff kind of didn't make much sense either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair, this is like, fairly early on in the game, maybe it gets a little bit better. I also found the traps a little bit underwhelming too, but again, maybe they get better later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I watched, uhm, I've been watching some more Storyville, uhm, stuff, like I watched the one about the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's strange because like, I was living here while all that was going on, and they were interviewing a lot of the people that I remember seeing on the news, like, you know, like the chief of police at the time, and the guy who was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's really good. It could have been not good, but I just think that the whole format for Storyville is just so good. Like everything that they've


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The point that they've done is excellent. It's worth the watch. But uhm, yeaah, it's just crazy. The summary of it and I think the point that they were trying to sort of make with it all and the people that they interviewed, like ex-government people and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we need to make sure that like, you know, the everything is very stable there or else we wouldn't be interested in like having our money there and stuff like that. So there was definitely a lot of pressure for them to just sort of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, that's all I watch. I just, I just watch dogma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the Oxford AZ one, so. Yeah, I had the same, yeah. And then, Wednesday also felt bad. Any clotting? And it's still there. I hope not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I do get sick quite badly, like when I had Covid, it was way worse than most people I know, my age group, that had it. When I, when I was younger I had, let me see, I had mumps, I had constant tonsillitis, I had to have my tonsils out, I had whooping cough when I was younger, I had appendicitis, I had to have my appendix out, I had, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you could figure she's probably at least 38, right? I assume we got married at 18. We didn't. We were in our early 20s. So, it's uh, it's one of those things. But yea, you know, jeez. She looks better than ever, so she's just a fine woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's easier, easier to think, this is certainly, I've played a reasonable amount on light chess, not as much as some of my friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try not to think about like, how can I get checkmate? I think it's easier to think about how can I get board position and force them to make mistakes and bad trades and win the game that way, rather than, ah, I'll think of some 15 move ahead checkmate, because if one thing goes wrong, you've got to reevaluate your entire plan, right? Like, just think about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How can I get this square, which is gonna be an important one, and pin his pieces in place? How can I force a fork? You know, and try to get pieces and good trades rather than thinking 18 moves ahead. Just think of simply what would be a move here that would make my position stronger and threaten something that he would have to respond to. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's just practice. It's just practice. I think the boring part of it is that you just need to learn loads and loads of openings and moves and sequences and like formations you wanna get into and stuff. Like, if anything, it's just mathematical. I'd say with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you want to be amazing at it, those guys are ridiculously good. But a lot of the time they've studied endlessly and they just play all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But do you think chess could be, could benefit from having a bit more bouyakasha and a bit more sort of fun to it? Cause in, I'll give you an example, right? They're worried, the football guys, the baseball guys and all these guys, the guys that own the clubs and the rights and all these, these big teams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So one of the things the Super League was meant to do was make younger people more interested in football because it'd be more exciting games. You wouldn't have to watch Burnley versus West Brom in the Premier League. You know, you can go watch AC Milan against Man U every week. That was one of the big pushes that they were making for that. And in baseball, the concern is that the game is too slow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Much too slow. And these companies and these people are always trying to come up with ways to jazz things up. Now chess, if you've ever watched live chess, like you can watch videos on YouTube of live chess, it's incredibly boring. It's basically two people sitting there,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Baseball, they're, they're, the, one of the things, baseball has a lot of unwritten rules, uh, one of them is you don't steal the signs, so one of the things the pitcher does is, he looks at the catcher and the catcher gives him signs of what pitch he thinks the pitcher should throw, I don't know why the catcher has any fucking say in it, surely it's the pitcher's job, but anyway, they agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I'm telling you guys about it. I'm not saying it's not intricate, I'm just saying I'm confused. Unless it's literally the catcher throwing signs up so that he knows what's coming. But I feel there is some element of strategy there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because at the moment, it can be like a couple of minutes between a ball being thrown. Because the guy, the pitcher gets up on the mound, the batter comes out, he's fannying about, getting his bat, he's tightening his glove straps, he's adjusting his cap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And his hat, he's getting everything just ready. He gets up to the plate, he gets his feet just right. Meanwhile, the picture is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rollin' the ball in his hand, he's spittin' on his hands and rubbin' them together, you know, he's gettin' some, some of the, the rosin on his hands and everything. He's, then he's leaning in, he's takin' the signs from the catcher, catcher, the pitcher's shakin' him off. No, no, no, I don't wanna throw a fastball, I don't wanna throw a cover. And then the batter says, whoa, whoa, time out! He steps out of the box, he stretches his arms, he readjusts his gloves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you haven't been going to football for thirty years, why would you suddenly start going? That's their concern. Also, the middle-aged guys aren't the ones buying shirts. For a family of four to go to football now is prohibitively expensive. It's the same for a lot of middle-aged kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they get, they get kids in by giving them cheap tickets, and they hope that that's gonna mean that they stick around. But the thing is, if, as a kid you can get in for a 5 or a 10 or whatever, when you're an adult, now it costs, you know, you have to buy a ticket which costs a lot, or a season ticket which costs a fortune. If you support a big club,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't just stroll up. Baseball is a bit different. When I went to see the Mariners, uh, when I was in Seattle, the baseball team,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's about 1.3 difference. So the top team spends 33% more than the bottom team. So they spend 1.33 to their 1. If you look at the top teams in the Premier League, the top team spends about 25 times more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Destroy their rivals. This is the problem with these businessmen. They're not sports fans. They're not football fans. They're businessmen who have come in and bought these teams and decided


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How can we make our team more successful, which even if that means destroying the product in the short term, we will make more money and that's our entire goal. So the Super League was about taking these bigger teams and creating their own super product and fuck everybody else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, this, this didn't- I mean you're saying it's inevitable, you're saying it's inevitable, but these clubs, most of these clubs are like 100 years old or more. This has only been an issue since Sky came in in the 90s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they had worked the hardest at coming up with the best tactics, at getting the best players, they scouted the best players, they had the best system, they had a good ethos, and they worked really hard and they trained really well. Not in the same way. Not in the same way. Because now, for example, let's say, let's take Man City playing against, let's say, uh, Fulham. Or let's say, let's say even more ex-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their bench, the players that couldn't fit on the pitch because they didn't need them, were more valued than our entire team. In fact, you could pick two of those players on their bench and they would be worth more than our entire team. The system is unbalanced because these big clubs love it that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do not want any relegation. These American owners, especially the American owners have come in, I mean, John Henry at Liverpool, his team wins the Premier League, they win the European Cup, it's not enough, we need our own league, we've got to go more, more, more. Are we allowing that to happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Stoneway managed to be the most drama-free drama. Like, the whole gist is, this really unlikely team of three people launches into space, uhm, on this mission to Mars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, it's gonna be him. It's the decision of- well, it's gonna be him. He's not part of the mission. Why should any of us sacrifice ourselves? And then they're like, but how can you just kill a guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the thing I wanted to talk to you guys about, we've spoken about the flat earth before, and I'm not gonna go into it again because we've covered ad nauseam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so here's another one. This guy on Twitter, claiming to be a genius physicist who has discovered this theory, if you are a follower of any of the NASA accounts, you'll see him popping up, can't remember his name, he tweets about his theory about what black holes actually are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, most of these theories, and I'm doing the air quotes thing very heavily there because you can hear the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, that's how harshly I'm airquoting this. Based on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone looks at a picture, they don't really understand what they're seeing or what the picture is, they draw their own assumptions, and that's now their truth. And how dare you deny them their opinion! Right, okay. So, he looked at this picture of a black hole, which is not actually a photo, it's like a carefully constructed image using different spectrums of light and everything, you might have seen it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he has on his Twitter, he keeps posting it, picture of the donut black hole, which again is not just someone taking a camera and going click, and that's a black hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, it's very simple. Something is closer to us, something is further away, so it looks like that, but it's an eclipse, clearly, folks. I've got a number of questions for this guy, but obviously, without citations, it would be impossible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just believe it. And it's the same with all these conspiracy theories and all this flat earth stuff. You just believe it. And no one can convince you otherwise. If you are mentally prepared, if you like, if your brain is wired right to be deeply religious, and I don't think that's everybody, I genuinely think a lot of people are wired


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not to be religious. If you are wired to be religious, I think you're more likely to believe things without evidence or proof. Like, the moon landings were faked, Joe Biden is the devil, pizza gate is real, uh, Donald Trump's election was stolen. All these things tend to be coming from a more religious group of people. So I think they're the core of the problem and we should ban religion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so there's a video that you could give her that just say, can you talk about this? And it's this video, I'm sure I was talking about it before, where the guy points out that it would have been harder to fake the filming, like the filming of the moon landings, if they were fake, would have been harder to do than landing on the moon. Because they did not have the technology at the time to film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uninterrupted for the length of time that the live broadcast of the moon landing went on for. And film at the time, this was in the 60s, was literally like celluloid print, like that film, the old fashioned film canvases and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they would have needed a vast film reel that was perfect. I mean, one flicker, one hair, one little burn mark, one little judder, and everybody knows it's fake and the jig is up. So they would have had to do the most technically impossible thing at the time, which was to film this thing uninterrupted for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd be, you'd at least be able to argue that. You cannot argue that the landing was fake because the film footage itself proves you wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I think it would be fair enough if they just came back and said, yeah, we went to the moon, there's a flag up there, if you don't believe us, go look at it. Everybody'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? Of course they had to film it. You can't just have them say after the fact, we went to the moon, who's gonna


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, I mean, I've seen NASA post tweets of CGI representations of what, uh, the Voyager probe's gonna do, or some probe's gonna do, or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are like, how did you take these pictures? LOL. This is clearly, you're clearly lying. How did, how did you take a picture of this athlete? LOL. Ridiculous. What a fake. I'm like, it's fucking, and they're like, this looks so fake. So yes, CGI representation of what is happening. They can't film it because it's so far away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I honestly, I don't know what it would take, I think, I'm, I'm hoping that all this space, uhm, I know that for example, they're talking about taking people up into spaces like space tourism, right? And they'll be, it'll be more affordable in years to come, and SpaceX, you'll be able to pay to get into a rocket ship, go into orbit, orbit the Earth and come back down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But so a lot of the people booking flights on these, uh, space voyages, these space tourism things, are flight earthers, or people offering to pay for flight earth, leading proponents of the flight earth to go up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but they're just gonna say, like, this is the big thing about the ships, is they say, as you can see, the windows are curved, which makes the Earth look curved. That's a, that's a famous one. The windows are round, which adds to the curvature, so it makes the Earth look curved. Even though there's a, like, a wing or something outside the window that is perfectly straight,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently it only bends the earth, it's all very clever. So you can't win. They- like, and I'm saying it's the exact same as religion. And some people who are deeply religious-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. Which is why I'm drawing the comparison. There are so many comparisons between the sort of religious fundamentalists and conspiracy theorists. I honestly think there's a big link. I think because religion is dying out in terms of like popularity if you like. A lot more societies are becoming sec- secular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I'm saying is- If you're out there, aliens, if you're listening to this, if I explain to Mrs. F, it's not another woman, it's an alien, do you mind if I fuck her? I'm sure she would be fine with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit. It's meant to break tomorrow. I can't wait. I hope that it just rains for like a year straight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got his, he's got his tear away trackies on so he can just like unbutton them from the side and rip them right off and he's, he's sitting there in his undies right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you want to know where to get some, uh, I'm just looking at a map, a local map where it's showing me where I can get some. Uhm, let me just scroll over here. It looks like, yes, uh, the boots jersey sells them. No, it looks like Bella Italia, Waitrose, and a place called Hotel Chocolat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, how can you even tell if your belly button smells? Like I can't reach down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, yeaah, it's crazy, yeaah. Uhm, but there's a whole bunch of people in hospital. There's a couple of people in, in sort of like a critical state in hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's like over 3,000 active cases, like with the contact tracing and stuff. Just at the end of, uh, school for my kids, uh, we were getting emails every day, like about direct contact. There's kids in his class getting it and stuff, and I was just like, oh man. Uh, like my son had to get tested again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, thank god he was, he tested negative and now they're on summer vacation, but yeah, it's like, it's crazy. It's, it's just never gonna go away. Like it's, it's just gonna be, it's, we're just gonna be, we're stuck with this now, right? It's gonna be around forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, I'll, uh, I don't want to bore people, so I'll just be brief. Uhm, Baby was nearly born on our kitchen floor, uh, because, uh, everything happened so quickly. Uhm, so, uh, I, I had the car prepped and everything ready to take my wife. In the end, I had to call the ambulance because, like, Baby was just like, I'm, I'm coming out now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, so they, they raced over here, picked up my wife. That's the first time I've ever traveled in an ambulance, so that was kind of fun. My wife was screaming the whole time. And, uh, we get to the hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, we get, we get to the hospital, they're unloading us, and the guys are like, do not give birth out here, okay? Just hold on for like two more minutes, we'll get you upstairs, and then you're good to go. My wife is still screaming. Uh, and then we get, uh, so we get up into, uh, into maternity, thank god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we're going to like, we're going to this center instead of them coming to our house, which is also, I gotta say, pretty amazing. It gets you out of the house. Also, you don't have weirdos just staring at you in your own house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, every time they look at the red book, they're like, holy crap, that was a really fast one. We're like, yeah, hell yeah. Like, my wife is a fucking super bionic soldier. It's, it's, it was just insane. It was awesome. It was really good. Great experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate my dick recently, like, uh, it's, it's, it's, it's fucking hot, it's always in the way, like my balls are sagging everywhere and stuff, I just feel like, man, I wanna be a Ken doll when it's this hot outside. Like, just fucking graft underpants to my skin and uh, cut off my dick and balls and I'm good to go, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know like the hair that kinda develops like around like your belly and belly button, that immediate area? Mine is shaped like a maple leaf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Wow, the booing. Listen, you babies, uh, another interesting fact for you guys, if you didn't know, I'm sure flax is probably aware of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Babies are born with like this, uh, this natural instinct to seek milk from a breast, but it, but any breast. So it's quite funny. Baby, like when I pick up baby, especially if my shirt's off, which it has been a lot recently because of the heat and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, she's just like trying to like suck on my mantits, like it's hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Top li- top lip as well. If you, uh, if you touch their top lip, it's all of a sudden, it's like, the food? Like, they're just- It's funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My other kids never slept, uh, it turns out. And uh, with this, with our, with our current, our new baby, uh, who sleeps all the time, it's really great actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, we're constantly like, oh, is she okay? Like, I hope she's alright. She's just, like, sleeping all the time. But they're meant to. We're just not used to it. We had two kids that just never slept. Like, they just were up all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've had, we've had like bits and pieces like that over the years with, with both of our, our older kids. And, uh, and we just sort of let it play out and it kind of sorts itself out. It's not too bad, but it wasn't like as extreme as, you know, having to put your hand on them while they're sleeping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like the past couple of days has just like come to the realization that nobody cares.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, it's been uhm, it's, I mean, like obviously tiring, but like, uh, but, but smooth, like a lot smoother than the other two. I think we're just like taking a lot more like in our stride this time, which is pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a lot of, uh, sitting around analyzing why this is happening, why that's happening, just stuff happens and we're just kind of like... No books, we constantly read, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I guess, I guess everybody's going to bed at one o'clock this morning. It doesn't matter. Like, you know, it just kind of, it feels like a little bit like our house has become like Malcolm in the Middle's house, you know, but just with smaller kids. It's just like that chaos, but it's like not, uh, it's not like a annoying chaos, you know, it's kind of a nice, a nice chaos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I do all day is change diapers and, uh, do the dishes and put washing on and hang washing out and bring washing in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then everybody goes to bed at some point and then you just, uh, collapse where you're standing. So that's fun too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's always the, that's the excuse that you just use, right? Like, why does she always get to pick what we do? Cause she's five. She'll cry if we don't do what she wants to do. That's it. It's as simple as that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Like just teak and like browns and stuff like that and you just don't see anything like that anymore. Like wood paneling on your walls and shit. Like same with like the 80s. Remember those big TVs? They like, uh, you had like the TV but that was encased in like a big wooden


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, you gotta leave it hanging around a little bit. It's gotta, you know, it's gotta finish, finish greening up and stuff, you know? You can't just, just chop it straight off the vine and just eat it. Well, you could, but like, I chose not to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got some peppers coming up and stuff too. It's been great. Lots of, lots of good stuff. Lots of good stuff has grown. I think all this hot weather has really helped too. Just like, there's, there's just new fruits everywhere, I've noticed. So, or maybe it's because I've been busy with the baby. I haven't had as much time to go out and check, but I checked yesterday and was like, whoa! It's just like shit everywhere is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, that's, this is the level that these people operate at. I mean, I don't blame them. If I was like, if I was able to do all that kind of stuff, I'm, I'm not for the record. I'm like a broken shell of a man right now. I would be, I'd be at it all the goddamn time. Like, geez, why not? You got nothing else to do between events, right? You might as well. I would love to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure that look up on YouTube there's all sorts of like, uh, funny or like interesting like Olympic event videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying like, uhm, just to make like a comparison, but I'm not saying...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm doing what Paul does now. I'm gonna try to bulletproof myself at everything I say. But uhm, you know, you don't take your card to a mechanic and then tell the mechanic what to do, right? He knows what he's doing, right? This guy probably knows what he's doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like a good way of coping with this though is to imagine that these, uh, these criticisms and all of these comments are being made by the same person, right? Like if you can channel them into


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody you dislike and that you don't believe a word that they say or whatever and you can imagine that it's them saying it in all cases, it's a lot easier to deal with, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People leaving comments are just like, it's kinda like, uh, like the spread of misinformation. It feels like there's a lot of it out there, but actually it's only like 10 people spreading it. Right, right, right. I honestly think it is. That's commenting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a weird one, but honestly though, with a lot of this stuff, with a lot of these platforms, it's kids too, right? Like, I think, I think we can't, uh, like, like Notch finding out that his game was played mostly by kids, I think a lot of media, like on YouTube and Twitch and TikTok and all that is consumed by kids as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, me too. Guys, I just want to open up by saying I like the podcast, but a couple of points, pointers here. Now, I'm no expert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dare she even come near me, I better stop doing this. Like it was such a good deterrent. The lady. The lady. That's a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello and welcome back to a Breathless Triforce podcast. P-Flax has just climbed up the stairs, I've got hay fever, and Sips is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Finally parity has been achieved, so yeah. Welcome! Welcome back everyone, uh, I went on a holiday this week. Get out, jeez. I went out into the countryside. Wow. And I spent...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to, I'd like to have gone into a year, but I think I'd even be more, even more allergic to those bloody cloth things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, I went to like a, it's like a, it looks like an old railway, or like an old trailer, for like a, uhm, a horse trailer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or your, like, annoying busybody neighbour. I got shouted at this week for, like, leaving a bin bag outside my door for, like, ten minutes. Can't believe it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like a livid red-faced fucking jobsworth guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I was cleaning the flat, I put the bin out, I was doing all the hoovering and stuff and I was like, I'll take the bin down while I'm done. I honestly, like, it had been there less than a quarter of an hour. Right. And he was like, just, you can't leave this here, what are you doing, I'm reporting you to the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody's been here for like 10 minutes, so I'm about to take it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a guy who was driving in Bristol, um, during the protests, and he was directed by the police into a bus lane, and along with a lot of other people I'm sure, that bus lane obviously has got a camera in it that takes pictures of people who are not supposed to be driving in the bus lane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Send a 60 quid fine. Right. And rang him up and said, you know, I was directed into the bus lane by the police, you know, they were like, oh yeah, well, yeah, well in order to file that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who indeed? So, basically, weirdly this happened in the week that I also watched Clarkson's Farm on Amazon Prime. Why'd you watch that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and so on, I checked it out, I was playing some, uhm, some World of Warcraft, I was playing some other things, uhm, and I was like watching TV in the background, and I was watching, I just thought, fuck it, I'll watch, I'll watch Castle, see what's, cause everyone was talking about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I mean, look, whatever you say about him and the guys, they are good TV, um, and, I mean, the original Top Gear, their big adventures to places were very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, the grand tour had a bit of a shaky start on Netflix, cause it sort of, on Amazon Prime, cause it felt like, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a bit too heavily scripted, right? Originally Top Gear, it was obviously that the scrapes and bumps that they ran into were scripted, but it did still feel authentic. Uhm, and I think that the Grand Tour had a bit of a shaky start, but apparently is good now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the other vehicles that they've had, so obviously each of them has tried to make their own show. James May's done a cooking thing and he's gone to Japan and he's done all the different things and Richard Hammond did a really awful kind of island survival thing with some of the guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I tell you, I don't, I don't, I prefer, I prefer him to Verdant K, or that, that, uhm, that northern guy who presents stuff. Or Ant and Dec, you know, I mean, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually very funny, he's sat there to do this stuff in misery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he sort of drives, he's a tractor driver and he's, he's like 21 and you know, some of the, some of his, his lines are brilliant. Like some of the things he's, he's obviously a natural, a genuine person, you know, who's never


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Left this local area of three villages that he grew up in, you know, he grew up in the world of farming and a lot of people are really sort of, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they, when they grow up in this, this thing, they're kind of, not, not trapped necessarily, but they, they're happy there. Uhm, I noticed this when I worked on some farms in the summer one time. It felt like it was almost like a different community of people living in, in the, in the countryside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird though. I've told this before, but it just felt like I stepped through a portal into another world, you know? I didn't believe that these people existed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has lots of these nicely spoken people that he's obviously found on the internet, you know, it's like the head of the farmers union comes down to teach him how to like fucking do some horrible thing to a sheep or whatever and some other woman comes in with a sheep dog and does that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, it's good, it's genuinely good, but uhm, this guy Caleb, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They kind of, obviously have, they have everything, you know, they have, they have a bunch of fields where they rotate the sheep between them, you know, to eat the grass. Yeah, hell yeah. Rotate it. Spinning sheep. So the government will pay you to sort of keep these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a nice time, it did do things, there's not much to do. Glad to hear it. There's not much to do, I walked around into the local village, of course the farm's out in the middle of fucking nowhere, so as a result, none of the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Roads to get into the village are, you know, big enough for more than one car and certainly don't have a pavement. So, you know, there's two of you walking down this fucking road, suddenly a truck comes down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so this other couple obviously, uh, don't live together, so for lockdown they've had a fair few moments together, and so this was like the first time they've kind of been able to stay somewhere together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll do another trip as well, we've got all the cards. Coming to Jersey tomorrow. Oh wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, turns out he was emailing Lewis to say, how you doing? So yea, he sent me an email, it says, can't wait to see you on Friday, I have planned loads of fun things to do while you are here, so make sure you save up all your energy and don't do anything else until then. Love, love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I replied and said, uh, I'll make sure I don't do any moving around or anything until I'm over there and I'll also eat lots of beans. So I'm full of beans. I think that's how it works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I can imagine you- Yea, I played it a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You sit in there having a chat with me in a coffee shop and just instantly busting out peggle. And now I know that that's actually, now you've explained it, I wouldn't be offended. But I think if you hadn't told me I would have been offended by that, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've also played that for like hundreds of hours, so you're so familiar with it, it's not probably complicated anymore. It's not. Well, I mean, there's new stuff in it. It's a great game, by the way. It's really fun. It is a top game. Uh, P-Flex has been, this whole time, probably watching the football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've watched every game. I've watched every single game. I know you have. I know. It just shows how much fucking free time you have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would assume. You've watched all the games, isn't there like 6 groups?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was supposed to happen last year, but it didn't, right? Because it's one of those things that's happening. So this, do you think it's been like, do you think it's been okay? Like, and like, do you think it's bodes well for the Olympics happening in Tokyo and stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, it's like, they're always gonna be there. People are gonna always wanna season their food with the thing that they've seasoned their food with their whole life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same thing as McDonald's with the consistency. It's all about the consistency, right? It's got their, the skill is that they manufacture this thing in hundreds of plants across the world, but it all tastes the same. And it's supposed to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yes it was. Uhm, and, and originally they, they had some supply line issues, they just sort of didn't, they were making a lot of losses somehow, I don't know why, it was all just terribly out of date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what happened was there was this mania where people were buying up all the boxes because they were going out of business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were selling for like a hundred quid for a box of them on eBay, it was out of control. Oh my god. Um, because they're so ingrained in American culture, these cakes. Twinkies, yeah. So what happened was they ended up like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Selling just the name, the rights for the name Twinkies to another company that then relaunched Hostess brands and relaunched Twinkies and now they, you know, you can buy chocolate ones and all sorts of different ones again. I mean, they're terrible for you. They're just sugary. They're out, they're massively out of date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're so iconic, uhm, as a brand in people's minds. Like even we...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As Brits, you know, understand jokes about Twinkies and sort of know what they are, uhm, which is, which is kind of amazing really that the power of the American media and, you know, it's only from watching TV and stuff, you know, it's not like we buy them, we all can buy them in shops, uhm, it's only from, you know, the Fonz joking about them or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I've got something weird here, which I don't like. My dad must have made it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think back in the day, the kids who were allergic to peanuts were eating their lunch in the nurse's office, whereas now they're allowed to sit with the other kids and wear trading sandwiches, they're just fucking messing around. You know, I think that back in the day, the sickly kids with the peanut allergies had probably already been bumped off by various others.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think air quality, uh, she has been going up, like, this is one of those things, like, uh, it's, it's, it's weird, like, it is, it is, uh, it is one of those things where you're supposed to let your kids eat dirt or something when they're young, except everything's, everything's so clean and, and stuff, and everyone's wiping everyone down with fucking Dettol, do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, we're not experts on why this, or whether it's even increased at all, but I think it feels like it has, or at least maybe there's just awareness of it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that is, definitely there's a correlation between pollution and asthma, but some countries with high pollution have almost no asthma, so it must have some genetic component or another component.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me pitch this to you, right? You're making a sausage on a barbecue, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sausage is cooked, and it's a slippery sausage, you go to put it in your bun, it slips out, ooooh, out of your hands, onto the floor. Bin. Bin. Okay, now let's say the floor is, uhm, a grass, just a grass, just a field, like a nice, a farm field of grass where I was at the weekend, right? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if it's a drier thing and not a sticky thing, like, what is, you know, could you, like, imagine you've got the gravel, could you drop a sausage on the gravel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the older I've gotten as well, the more tolerant I am to stuff. It needs to be the other- Actually, I guess when I was a kid I ate anything, and then when I was a teenager I ate nothing, and now I eat anything again. I'll eat a fucking thing, I'll just dust off any old crap and wipe it down, go for it. I've got stomach acid in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I've come off my bike a couple of times and I think, you know, it's been very painful and I've hurt myself every time and that's gone pretty slow, you know. So, god. I think the other thing is you lose perspective, right, when you're driving or on a motorbike. It feels like you're playing a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't treat it like you should, very quickly, because it feels so... I don't know, like an otherworldly experience almost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are up a couple of stories. I don't understand how your office floods. Like, I mean, my garage, for example, is half under the ground, and I've never had, god forbid, I'm touching wood as well. I've never had any flooding issues. How are you guys having flooding issues when you're like two, three stories above the ground?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just sitting there, browsing reddit, doing the usual, and all of a sudden you felt some water below your feet, start to rise, computers started turning off, and sparks started flying everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like Winnie the Pooh and the big flood episode. You remember when like piglets get stuck in a honey pot and rabbits like stuck on an armchair and they're floating down the river and stuff? Not familiar?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever thought of, uhm, like, uh, recording some content, like, uhm, sort of like, uh, like buy, you buy an old house and, and do it up and do like a time lapse or like you clean a car?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean, if you guys were very experienced and knew what you were doing, I would want to watch for sure, but I wouldn't want to watch you blunder a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so that's the trick, it's just to get them to smell right at birth. At birth, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of that stuff costs so much money and now people are finally catching on to the fact that like, hang on a second, these guys just leave these things laying in, you know, in an open field and all they do is just like lock the door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So far, so farmers get fucked again because not only do they have to pony up for all this expensive farming equipment, now they're gonna have to have these like state of the art security systems and cameras and shit to guard all of their expensive equipment. Fuck me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like, sugar beets have to be harvested one particular way, and like, potatoes have to be harvested one particular way, so there's like a machine for everything. It's like, it's so expensive, it's insane. Like, I guess that's why, like, you always hear,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saying like, oh, farmers, uh, they can't make any money, like all the corporations buying up all these fields to plant corn and stuff, you know what I mean? Like it's, like it's impossible for them to keep up now. Oh, it's unbelievable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people off the back of us talking about Clarkson recently have been asking like, yo, where does this hatred for Clarkson come from? Flax just explained it. If you're ever wondering, he's just ignorant. I get it, he's probably pretty funny as an entertainer or whatever sometimes, or whatever, but if you've ever read anything that he's written,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or taking any of his views or anything, uhm, read about them outside of his persona, maybe it's part of his persona. He's just an ignorant asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you serious? Man, I thought he was like pushing Sam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been, uh, I've been watching this, uh, really interesting documentary, uh, called Philly DA. Uh, it's like a eight part series about a, uh, a guy who becomes the district attorney of Philadelphia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but he's, he's progressive, and uh, when he enters office, he promptly fires like, uh, 30...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, attorneys from the office that have been there for like the longest time. He just does like this big clear house and he's coming in saying stuff like, why are we looking into people that are, you know, being pulled over with three grams of marijuana on them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are we, uhm, you know, why are we doing, pursuing like, uh, cash bails because it's like, uh, unfair against poor people? Uhm, you know, why are people still seeking the death penalty? I don't think it's a good idea and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, so the whole series is just kinda like them following him around in this new, his newly elected position and everybody hating him basically because he's too different and wants to change things too much. And there's a lot of people that have been in the office for a long time who-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fraternity of police, uh, which is like kind of like a union, uh, for police officers who hate him, um, and will just do anything they can to make him look bad, uh, to question his policies and stuff and, uh, and rally


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of these, uh, police and ex-policemen, uh, a lot of their funding comes from retired policemen, so like old dinosaurs who want things to stay the same way they've always been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a documentary, it feels uhm, it doesn't feel gritty like the wire in that, I mean, there's a lot of like, it, there's lots of like different sort of threads in it, you know, like there's the people that work there that are uhm, you can tell they're just on their way out, you know, they're, they're, they don't agree with-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For like, what is it, four years or whatever, uhm, and then he can seek reelection in 2021, which he did this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but the scope of the documentary is like 2017 to 2021, like his first term, if you like, sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, it's super interesting. Like, it's all, it's all very, if you like, like stuff about American justice and, and whatnot, it's, uh, it's really interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And again, he's, he's, he's like a civil rights lawyer for like 30 years in the city. Uh, and then just thought he's, he's just had enough of dealing with this like antiquated DA's office and just decided, well, I'm just going to try to become the DA and then one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but he won off the back of like a lot of communities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so the families of the victims and stuff are dragged back to court constantly for these appeals that are always denied because they're already on death row or whatever. But it's also happening that like six or seven cases


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ...were disproved by DNA, and so people that had been sitting on death row for years and years and years are then all of a sudden...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they sort of make the point at one point they're like, you might as well just like send them to Canada or something, you know, like they're just so far away from home and everything that they know that it's just like, you know, it's, it's no good sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just called Philly D.A. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's, you can get it on, uh, it's, all eight episodes are on, uh, on, on BBC Four on iPlayer. Oh, cool. Check that out. It's a, it's a Storyville documentary. It's really, really good. Oh, I love Storyville. I love Storyville. It's really, really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know I bang on a lot about Storyville, but honestly their documentaries are incredible. They're so good. They're amongst the best for sure. So if you like watching documentaries and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, and there was this, there was like a show on, it was like uhm, kinda like a documentary about her or whatever, and it was like uhm, it was meant to be this like intimate sort of like, you know, a deep dive into, into this person who had-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I never felt so out of touch in my life. Like, I'd never even seen this person, I'd never even heard any of the songs, nothing. Like, I don't know how I've managed to insulate my dad garage so well against pop culture. Like, in this one case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, I think my wife came across it. She was like, uh, you know, cause we, cause the baby, like we're both at odd hours, just, you know, browsing the internet, like in the middle of the night or whatever. It is really alluring when you reach a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, uhm, well speaking of like normal, uhm, television, I've been watching, uh, with my wife, which I never thought in a million years I would watch, and I kinda hate watch it as well, but, uh, and no, it's not a soap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, they've had to go on a show and marry somebody that they only just met as part of the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my, and the entire time I'm thinking, I'm not surprised these people never got married. I'm not surprised these people don't have relationships. I'm not surprised that like these people are, are, are so lonely and stuff and they've had to come on a show and get married to somebody like artificially or whatever. Because they're all, uh, like crying man children. Like, uh, the, the women and the men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've, I don't think that they've matured past the age of 12.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In any case, they're all so stunted, it's unbelievable. Like they're just, they're like the deers in the headlights when it comes to like, some of them have never had partners before, some of them have never even had sex before, like or, you know, or any sort of sexual encounter before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't seem, like at first glance, you're kinda like, oh yeaah, whatever, like they just seem like normal people, but man, looks can be really deceiving, and in this show's case, uh, ultimately just, uh, wildly deceiving, because these people are just not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just don't live on this planet, I don't think, or not in this reality. Like, they are so fucking stunted, it's crazy. Like, it's just, it's interesting to watch, but, like, I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like watching it because it's so hateful to watch, if that makes sense, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just wanna say as well, like, I'm not, I'm no one to judge somebody's maturity or whatever, and I'm not, I'm not talking about just general maturity or like, you know, somebody, you know, making a joke or whatever, I'm talking about people with like, little to no life skills whatsoever, in their thirties, like that, that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, it's incredible. Like it's just, I, I don't get it. And the stuff, like again, that they fight about and like the differences that they have with each other and stuff is, it blows my mind. And also-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being married to somebody that you don't know at all. You've known this person maybe for two minutes. That's ridiculous. Like, your first encounter with them is you getting married to them. Like, it's, pfff, my mind explodes every time. I know it's, I know it's TV and there's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who the cripes did I marry? Okay, but the lead up to who the cripes did I marry, are these people that met each other under some normal circumstances or is it like a hookup show? Like a married at first sight sort of thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my wife watched it. I didn't watch it. I saw bits of it, but I didn't watch the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it looked interesting for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, you gotta put some of those, that yoga stuff into that TikTok rap flax. That's your next challenge. You know, instead of the Yabba Dabba Doos, you gotta get like, uh, yeaah, you gotta get some of your yoga poses in there as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It goes against all the principles of yoga, really. Here you go, it's 2021, you can do whatever you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever read the Mr. Men books before? Uhm, look for the book Mr. Skinny. He goes off and he has to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think it's, it's, it's a more feudal system when you give people these honor effects, right? Like, they have to be, they have to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, the queen of, uhm, our hearts, you know, they have to be the voice of a generation, they have to be, you know, the, like, the sweetheart, you know, like, Wales's sweetheart, or something like that, or the princess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The OG legendary nicknames, you know, whereas machine sounds more modern, do you know what I mean? Like, I could call, you could call someone that, but yeah, it's not necessarily a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not necessarily flattering. It might imply that they work too hard, you know, and they should take a day off once in a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Royalty, there's gonna be some, some obligations to come with that, you know, you have to, you've got responsibilities, it's not a lot of pressure. Yeah, you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders there, that's a tough one. Exactly, and what you're gonna do, I reckon we need to come up with some more modern ones, do you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The internet has allowed people to just get wet in the waterfall of shit, that is everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's, it's, it's everything. There's, there's people fucking making dicks out of pot, pottery. There's, there's people fucking knitting Sonic the Hedgehog in a fucking pure plastic. Do you know what I mean? There's any, people were doing everything, sips, and good for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you have to try. Yeah, well I think you have to support, right? Like I think, for example, I think often these things, things that I've learned in my own life is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The things I end up doing, I've kind of tricked myself into doing. Like, if I was learning a musical instrument now, I'd probably...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try and get a book of songs that are, I don't know, something that I'm interested in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, on Clarinet. There was actually this week, the original Sonic the Hill, the Sonic the Hedgehog composer who did the Green Hills theme, he actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you ask anyone who's good at something, some of them sure they force themselves and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think a lot of people, yea, they just, they don't consider the things that they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that, that they, that they love and they are experts in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you can't control what you, your children, or you are gonna find interesting at any one time. I mean, yes, we are surrounded by the waterfall of shit on the internet, and we're pulled each and every way, and you can't just leave a series of abandoned projects in your wake and look at them sadly and be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sad that I never learned how to play Sonic 2 theme on clarinet, you know, ah, could have been a virtuoso, could be up on stage right now, but I don't think you need to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think like that, uhm, I think you just need to, trying new stuff actually is sometimes, I think, better than just grinding your hair to go so you're not enjoying it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did it with books relatively recently, because I started realising that I really wanted to read books, but I kept getting stymied by a shit book, and then I'd be like, I don't want to read because I'm halfway through this book that I don't like, and so I started just abandoning books, and man, it's fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's relatively recent for me though. I felt like I had to finish my plate. I don't know, I had this kind of dad attitude. There's children in Africa who would love to finish this book. Do you know what I mean? They'd love to eat this book, but they can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you enjoyed Dishonored, I think you'd like it. I mean, it's about this island of the super rich who've sort of created this time loop so they can live out their wildest fantasies day after day. Um, and sort of a little bit, I mean, that's sort of a little bit of a background of the setting, so you do end up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes the game cheaper, right? When you've got a time loop, you need to build a lot less settings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, but I love a time loop, I mean they're always an interesting genre to explore, and you know, I think people are talking about it, I've downloaded it, I haven't had a go, so I don't know. Steam reviews are mixed though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's very hard though to express interest in your favourite streamer and also be a streamer. I don't know, there is a weird, I get this a lot on emails, uhm, people sort of saying, oh, I love this thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do this thing, is there a way we could, you know, do a video together or something like this? It's a common query, and I guess like, you know, a lot of the time


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess there is a, it's not an ulterior motive, it's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a, a motive, um, but it sounds in some way ulterior because I think where it, it, it feels like it's, I don't know, it's like seedy somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a very difficult thing to know how to do or to do. No, but you see people trying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, gotta start somewhere. So, I did read, I noticed this week, that Hideo Kojima, how do you feel about him? He wants to make games that change in real time. Whatever the fuck that means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so when he plugged it into your Game Boy Advance, it was called, like, the subtitle was The Sun in Your Hand, and the idea was that you had to, yea, you had to play it in direct sunlight, and it would be, like, quite a different experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well people just like shining a torch on it or going up to their light and using that, like I wanna know how, I wanna know if people play this game and also how, because I assume you have to, I mean he says the amount of light from the sun is reflected in game to defeat vampires, right, so you can't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna deliver, like, pizza and pasta and all this shit to this guy and see him get fatter every day. I wanna, like, deliver Rogaine to some guy and have him grow his hair out every day. I wanna see my impact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I think Minecraft often showed though, that people will make their own end game, or they'll play it till they're satisfied. You know, I think if you give people an arbitrary end game, that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Complicated mad shit. You're bouncing from the strategic view to the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get me wrong, I love a purpose. In a lot of games you do need a purpose. You need some driving force. I think these days there's a daisy chain, handholdy quest tracking achievement list where you have to follow it all one by one to get there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I wonder whether that's just a trap. Like, I think game developers, some of the most successful games that I've known or played recently don't seem to have a hand-holdy tutorial. They don't care. They're just like, we're gonna just not give a fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's so basic, but it's so stripped down, it breaks, I say it breaks the rules, but it just didn't bother, it didn't get developed enough to get the rules added. You know, so many games, and I'm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guess I'm done. Uh, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna hire anyone to finish it. I'm just gonna fucking do like one line of code every two weeks from my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do, they fucking, the progress on their game slows to a crawl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's bizarre. Anyway, I'm enjoying, I'm enjoying me reaching out to people when I get the maddest shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I asked for some keys from this, this person, and they said, Hi Lewis, thanks for your email and inviting us for taking part. We would need to donate some keys, is that correct? And I said, higher, yep, that's correct. They replied, here are two steam keys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the actual email. And I was like, oh wow, wow! You really didn't read that email, did you, at all? I don't wanna call out these people, but, people, everyone's response is different. Some people are like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, like, the world is like a pretty mad place. Last week we were talking about, uhm, an action hero card. Who were we talking about at the end of last week doing the Arnie impressions? Anyway, Jean-Claude Van Damme was doing like a sort of thing in Paris, and he had a big crowd of people, and he was just showing himself off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Claude Van Dam visited an optometrist in Paris, okay, which created a crowd big enough that a jewel thief escaped unnoticed from next door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. Jesus Christ. Well, and still useless apparently. The muscles from Brussels, uhm, he-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so basically, he, y'know, a man held up the next door high-end jeweller Shoumei on a green scooter with what, it's made off with what authorities estimate was between 2 and 3 million euros in precious stones and jewellery. There you go. Okay, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, on bank robberies, cause I remember there was that famous clip of how a masked man sort of entered this hotel, um, threatened the woman at the counter, and uh, you know, so she sort of started


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's apparently like a bunch of other bad failed robberies. I've got a list if you want to hear. Yes please. So in March, this is actually a month ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A British man walked into a bank branch in St. Leonard's in England. He handed the clerk at the counter a note informing them that he was there to rob the bank. But his handwriting was so bad that the clerk


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The man turned around and walked away. However, they sent a note up the chain and they deciphered that he was trying to rob the bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's better ways, you know, just pretend to be a fucking, what's this face, um, Keanu Reeves and scam old ladies. That's how you do it. You make more money that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, broke into a car and stole the sat nav, uhm, but he, they, people have these like cameras, little cameras in their cars now, and it caught a little shot of his, a shot of his neck, and he had a tattoo on his neck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me just check my bicep. Oh yea, to-do list for Thursday. Steel sat-navs, uh, you know, Rob Bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't think we should be giving him any credit. He's probably a prick. First of all, how has he gotten away with naming himself a curse word, right? Because that's not even his real name. If I called myself, you know, Leonardo the shit, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Old, he's, I guess he's old and people have forgotten that the movies he were in, he was a joke back in the day, but they've sort of thought, oh he's one of the old, the old crew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast this fine Thursday morning. It's us, we're back again. Once, once again. It's raining. It's, it's, well, it's typical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not even an ounce of rain, and now- I don't know. That greyness just reminds me of, like, the sort of factory-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell you what, I read an article this week from a Liverpool cafe that found a hundred year old menu, so sort of Victorian era menu, from when they were, uhm, when they were, I guess, a more upmarket place. And man, the food on there looked pretty grim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I wonder if you would eat these things. So, the soups. Just the first thing on the menu is consomme de volleil. I don't even know what that is. It's French.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Like how is ren spelled? Rain, like it's in like royal I guess, yeah. Like the, like, crown is it? Rain in front of it? I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The entrees, let me ask you if you want any of these. Do you want sweetbreads and peas?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of like those beef braised, beer braised soups, you know, where, because obviously they're all drunk with the Guinness, right? And so it would be like putting a can of Guinness in, basically. They're all drunk. It would kind of, yeah. Well, back then, for sure. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, uh, braisen, braised steak, uh, lard-miere? I think that says? Yeah. Okay. You're selling this. Don't know what that means. Yeah, that sounds good. Chicken cutlets and spaghetti. Oh, right. Okay, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gross. Those are the days. People are still getting away with stuff like this though, just naming it stuff that sounds fine, like, you know, like sweet breads. The other options are more obvious. There's grilled kidneys and bacon. That actually sounds good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. I bet they actually used an ox tail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, back then they probably would have, yea. Okay, uhm, boiled cod with holidays sauce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this reminds me of a thing, okay, so uhm, this week I was recommended to download some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By one of my friends, uhm, like his kind of ambient sound app for the, uhm, for, for Alexa, right? So you say, sorry if anyone's got one, I've triggered it. You say the name of the, the, the thing, and then you say, play rain sounds, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, exactly, and that will then happen, but they've got like apps on them now, so they, well, some of these are paid for apps, and some of them actually have this huge, huge library of sounds where you can play multiple sounds at the same time to find this perfect


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it's, it's very long, uhm, windy leaves, windy trees, rain on a tin roof, shower sounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it starts getting weird. Frog sounds. Seagull sounds. Frog sounds!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, yeah, but you're right, like the other thing is I read about like there's like five different colours of noise as well, like cause there's white noise that we obviously know about, well there's also pink and blue and violet and brown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the brown noise is named after a guy called Robert Brown, I think, rather than...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but they're like, they're, some of the, cause people sometimes do like listening to the white noise, and I always hated it, but actually the other ones are more focused, cause white noise is kind of just very, kind of abrasive. But, but I wonder, like, cause the other one is like, buzzing lights, sounds, and. Is there a green noise?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm wondering whether these, like, sounds are actually just a, like, a three second loop of, you know, a fucking whatever Dalmatian sound is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a YouTube channel called Tracklib, who go through samples and which samples are used in uhm, they've done a dated one I saw last week from, cause it's 20th anniversary of Daft Punk's discovery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, or a friend to a gift. You can get 20% off at free shipping at manscaped.com slash triforce. That's 20% off free shipping, manscaped.com slash triforce. Don't forget that you came from your dad's balls. Uh, this year, show your original home some love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, there's a thing. We obviously, we obviously believe very, very strongly about opinions or things we don't necessarily know the facts of, and it affects how we think, right? And this is a thing to do, it's a book I've been reading called Factfulness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only with facts, right? Factfulness. And it's got, in the intro, it's got like a little quiz. And I thought I could give you the quiz just to see how you did. Because for me, I did terrible. And apparently everyone does pretty terrible. So I just thought I'd see how you guys did. And you kind of just have to give the answer off the top of your head. Don't think about it too much. Don't metagame it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where do you think the majority of the world population lives? Is it in low-income countries, middle-income countries or high-income countries?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In all low income countries across the world today, how many girls finish primary school? Is it 20%, 40% or 60%?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say 20%. Okay, I'll put, I'll put them both down. I'd say doubled. Okay. What is the life expectancy of the world today? Is it to the nearest 10 years? What do you think? Globally in the world? Oh globally?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say, uh, 68. Okay, so you think close to 70 people, so you think close to 50. Yes. Alright. There are 2 billion children in the world today. Wow. Jeez. Aged between 0 and 15. Gosh. How many children will there be in 2100?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think 4 billion, okay, and you think 2 billion? Interesting. Then the, uh, how did the number of deaths per year from natural disasters change over the last 100 years? Did it double, half, or stay the same? I'd say double. Geez, let me think. So from natural events.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many of the world's one year old children today have been vaccinated against some sort of disease? Is it 20%, 50% or 80%?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, globally, 30 year old, 30 year old men have had, on average, 10 years of schooling, uhm, in total. How many years have women of the same age had in school in total?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 30 year old women, worldwide. Worldwide, probably less. 3 years, 6 years, or 9 years? I'd say 6. I'm gonna say 9. Okay. I'm gonna say 9. Interesting. Uh, in 1996, tigers, giant pandas, and black rhinos were all critically, uh, were all listed as endangered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many of these three species are now critically endangered?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, how many people in the world have some access to electricity? Is it 20%, 50%, or 80%? It's gotta be 80%, surely?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and their global climate experts believe that over the next 100 years the average temperature will either get warmer, remain the same, or get colder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, well of these answers, I can tell you Sips, you got one right, and it was that last one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no. P-Flex, you got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven right. Wow. Pretty good. Holy crap. Thank you. Pretty good. But you still got about five wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So obviously the reality is, is that, you know, the majority of the world's population lives in, um, middle income countries. You know, in China and, and India, which are now kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, through media and through other things, there's lots of facts in this book, factfulness. I recommend it. Bill Gates, uhm, is involved, but the guy who wrote it spent his whole life kind of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to change people's minds because he found that when he gave this quiz tips to very intelligent people at summits like Davos, they would get the same score as you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's done a lot of famous textbooks. Well actually this was his last work, so he wrote this book and then he died. And it's a very, apparently it's very good, I'm about halfway through, and I'm really enjoying it. It's very, very Lewis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess you didn't really twig it, but basically, like, almost all the answers were the best ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Detection, early detection and shit. And also 80% of 1 year olds have been vaccinated against some sort of disease, so that's really a lot of modern children. Even counting all the people who refuse to get their children vaccinated, that's pretty good. Idiots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Women are pretty close to men in terms of schooling, like nine years of school compared to ten globally, which is, which is not as, not as big of a gap as we're sometimes going to believe. 80% of the world have access to electricity. Wow. And uhm, yeah, it's like, so in fact, a lot's changed in the last sort of 20 years really, and we do, we are naturally


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We feel quite, I guess you felt, and I did, quite strongly that I was right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I mean? Despite the fact that I hadn't done any research, I hadn't looked at it, no one had really told me. I had a sort of awareness of uhm, I know that child mortality is this kind of thermometer for countries. Because basically, you know, if kids are dying, there's problems with infrastructure, clean water,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I suppose it is quite galvanising, because it does show that despite this pro- you know, it's kind of this silent progress, though. Do you know what I mean? That we don't necessarily always see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think also you're right, like, there's this desire and feeling for the media to report negativity immediately. You know, they'll be like, Elon, I heard on the radio today, Elon, on the radio, on Alexa today, Alexa, claiming news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I, I heard, I heard, for some reason it was one of these things that, I guess it's like my teacher, it was good when he watched it or whatever, do you know what I mean? It's one of these things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's alright. I watched, um, I watched The Father, which was the anti-Hopkins. Oh, was it good? It's really good, yea, and actually it did, like, give me a bit of sort of, sort of stress because it was very reminiscent of my, my gran who had dementia, um, and was sort of struggling to