[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This isn't, uh, mythical, this was real, but, uh, you know, the movie Jungle Book was a, was about a boy that was raised by wolves. This is actually, well, that's Bart's not real. That was a, you never seen the Jungle Book?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, person that was raised by wolves and he was found by some guys. His name is Dina Sanchar. D-I-N-A-S-A-N-I-C-H-A-R.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He lived to be 35, I think, but I think he was around six when they fell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He died of tuberculosis. Yeah. Probably from the smoke. Yeah. He would have been fine out there with the wolves. And there's a woman, this was recently, she still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a woman named Oksana Malaya. O-X-A-N-A. Can you look her up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] M-A-L-A-Y-A. She was raised by dogs and, and she's still alive. This was within the last, you know, few years, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she's doing good. I think she's, you know, adjusted and like I said, she may be married. She's found at 23. I can't remember when they found her, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think they took her straight from the dogs to meet a guy. She was on a dating site the next day, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can learn a second language, but you have to know the first one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got her tails wagging. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Thunderbirds. Who's ever heard of Thunderbirds?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The car, there's cars, there's sports teams. I never thought what that meant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, that's Native Americans have all often had this legend of thunderbirds and they've had drawings of this giant bird that, uh, comes out of the sky and in of all places, Tombstone, Arizona.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's a newspaper article about some ranchers that had a giant bird swooped down that they described like a pterodactyl and they said they killed it. And, uh, there wasn't a picture in that particular newspaper with the story, but I haven't seen that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's a different one of guys who said a better one than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably fake, but they did that in the 1800s. I mean that picture has been around for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this Friday I'm with Henry Cho with the Shoals Theater in Florida, Alabama. It's a cool theater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you're gonna be out a couple, Dusty's gonna be out a couple, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell you, I have one album on my phone and every time it's Dusty's first album. All right. Making that fudge. And I'm so sick of it, dude. Cause every time I turn on my car, it start, you just start talking and I can't get rid of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it takes three seconds, but it's annoying every time. I forget till you turn on the car and there's Dusty talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was fun to watch you do. I hadn't seen you do a full, like you did like 50 minutes. It was great. The shows were hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're so nice the way they worded it. Yes, we were trying out all kinds of stuff, but some stuff you walk out and they go, nah, that's not you or whatever, but we landed and they, they, they hooked us up with some great outfits. Brian was wearing them that night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, it's not even at our lot yet. It's on the tow truck. So it's going to be about an hour before you can come get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's hang out. So Brian ubers back to his hotel. I uber back to my hotel. I wait an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I call the tow truck place. They go, well, since it's a rental car, you're not allowed to get it back because you're not the legal owner of it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was like, oh jeez, I go, like all my stuff's in there, all my camera equipment, all the clothes we had just gotten, uh, that Brian was gonna wear at the show, that I was gonna wear at my show, it's all in there, right? So they say, well, if you show your rental agreement,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm on my way there. I called an Uber. I'm about to go get the stuff before my show. I look at my rental agreement. It says that I took an SUV from the airport. I didn't. I had a Toyota Camry. Yeaah. The rental agreement has the wrong caller on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I can't, I can't go get my stuff from the, from the tow truck place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, just for the next six hours, I'm on the phone trying to get somebody at Enterprise to answer and they just will not. I cannot get a human being on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I just uber all around the city. I go to my show, I uber to Brian's show and then, uh, I'm calling enterprise. This is what they told me to do. They go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody's answering the phone there. So I talked to a general customer service guy and he's like, well, you should just just Uber to the airport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not Ubering to SeaTac on the off-chance somebody's there. So anyway, I yelled at a couple people, uh, that I don't think they understood what I was saying, but, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ryan, you're the only guy I'm talking to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, I didn't get, I went there at like, I didn't get my stuff like midnight that night. I convinced the guy. He was a stand-up comedy fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, had never heard of me, but we talked about it for a while. And then he let me grab our stuff out of there. But that tow truck is still at that lot. And I called


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rental, yeah, the rental car. I called everybody and I was like, I don't know if y'all know that this is there, but I'm leaving town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm on a plane back to Nashville and I post on Instagram. I don't even know if I've told you this part of it yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I post on Instagram, Hey enterprise, I tagged them. This car is in an impound lot in Tacoma. Good luck. I'm gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then they respond and DM me and then I get an email only after I post about it publicly. Oh yeaah. You see people trash companies online, I always judge them for it, but it was the literally the only way somebody would get in contact with me. Uh, so I've been emailing back and forth. They said it was my fault. I should have known to email them instead of call like everybody told me to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, it was just, it was such a great day. And then it was just a horrible day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is the first time I've had a problem and I am looking for a different company because that was the worst, that was the worst customer service experience I've ever had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Your rental car is still in a tow-in lot somewhere. Probably dude, nobody from enterprises let me know if they got it. Yours paid every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who knows what the bill will be? I'll probably have to pay whatever they have to pay to get it out of the tow lot. I kind of accepted that, but dude, it's not at a certain point. It's like, I've told y'all it's there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Let me tell you this, dude. I don't think outside of funerals and weddings, I don't think I've tucked in since high school. Yeah, I don't tuck in. The second somebody's not telling me to tuck in, I'm not tucking in. I love tucking in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you forgot the part where you're leaving the club, you lost your keys for about 40 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but a shark would have a fin, right? Not the telltale sign. Well the fin could be covered by the carrot. I feel like if you're drawing a shark, you find a way to put the fin in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when you go to a ball game, you know, the drinks are going to be $15. You just write it into the experience. That's a good way of looking at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forgot, I forgot my favorite part of the whole story. After the car got towed, I took an Uber back to the hotel and I get in the car and dude, I would bet all the money I have in the world that that guy had just, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Use the bathroom in his pants. I mean, I would bet money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I stepped in the car and I was like, what happened in here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The worst, the guy must have been having an emergency. He took my call and he just let it out in the car and I sat. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he talked the whole time and I was like, can I please roll the window down? My head's out the window like a dog. How'd you rate that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go, I'm just visiting friends. I'm back there like, talking out of my mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm visiting friends. He goes, so what do you do? I go, I wait tables. He goes, Oh, interesting. And he talked to me about wait and take, and it just smelled so bad. The whole time we're stuck. He missed the turn to the hotel. He's like, Oh, I got a circle back around, but just let me out. I'll walk it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's like the tow truck guy ended up talking with him about doing comedy and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when it's just like an Uber driver who, you know, just soiled himself, I'll just lie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was going to be in your story somehow, so I was waiting on you to let you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're listening, uh, on Nate's Instagram, Homeless Pimp Mike, uh, films a lot. The footage from this stuff is great. If you want to get just like an idea of what these shows look like, cause it looks insane, dude. Like the crowd shots and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not at all. So I did, we, uh, the three of us went up together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Nate said probably the nicest thing of the whole roast at the end. So we were like, we'll just let him have it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But when we got off Derek Strupe, who was hosting it, we get off. Oh, another guy that knows me. That's right. Yeah. Derek Strupe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just didn't do much for me, but I've had, you know, I've had a lot of people reach out since the podcast episode and a lot of people, uh, shared their experiences with me. I'm a bit of a medical advocate on this podcast. I'm an example for gout survivors, the survivors of the devil's itch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would say the same thing. Hot shower or ice and a drill or peppermint oil. A lot of people said, which I tried, which did nothing for me, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean, where'd you go get this stuff? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, there's a kid in my dorm in college that everybody called Batman Kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he would, every day he would wear the same thing. He would wear a trench coat and a Batman t-shirt underneath it. Everyday. He was known around campus as the Batman kid. Is that Notre Dame? That Notre Dame. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody said he would sleep upside down. I mean, there are all kinds of legends about this kid, right? But he lived in my dorm. And then they did an article about him in the paper when we were like seniors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they asked him, why do you wear Batman stuff? And he's like, I don't know, when I went to college, I just wanted to switch things up a bit. Was not even really a big Batman fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a nice kid, and uh, you know, reward trends go to the Batman series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a lot of people this weekend go come take a picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is an article that the explosive, quote, devil comet returns for the first time in 71 years during the April 8th eclipse, NASA says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A rare and massive comet with a devilish nickname is set to pass by Earth for the first time in 71 years and may be visible during the eclipse according to NASA. How about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of all this, did you know that even if you have a 401k for retirement, you can still have an IRA? Robinhood has the only IRA that gives you a 3% boost on every dollar you contribute when you subscribe to Robinhood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But get this, now through April 30th, Robinhood is boosting every single dollar you transfer in from other retirement accounts with a 3% match. That's right, no cap on the 3% match. Robinhood Gold gets you the most for your retirement thanks to their IRA with a 3% match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This offer is good through April 30th. Get started at robinhood.com slash boost, subscription fees apply, and now for some legal info, link close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The smaller the better. I like to lean in there. You're that speed reader guy. Yeah. I watched a bunch of videos this weekend of uh, like an auctioneer class. I might get into that. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's just a guy teaching you how to do it. Was, are you serious? Yeah. Your dad was an auctioneer? Yep. Was that his full time job? He was an auctioneer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh, I didn't know that. Did he teach you how to do it? A little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that's a cool skill. I don't know what I'd use it for, but wouldn't it be fun to pull


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sold! That'd be fun, but if you heard somebody talking about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Auctioneers, you know, then you just pull it out. You can make TikTok videos. I follow an auctioneer guy on TikTok.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, oh yeaah. I would write a bit to do on stage just to use that option here voice. Like I would just find a reason to use it. So, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so have I, then maybe if I knew how to do it, I could just go, don't even worry about hiring an auctioneer. I'll do both. Just pay me both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do it like announcements when like when I host in a club, you do it in the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, you do what you get and then you end on some material. Okay. Yeah, I'd find a way, I'd make it one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. This is the auctioneer champion. Oh, this guy's going off, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At what point can you, you can't even understand what the guy's saying. At a certain point you become so good that it becomes bad for the auction. That's almost too fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or there's like a house that got repossessed or something and you have to auction off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so I never thought about that. So the auctioneer has an incentive to drive the price up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting. So there must be some science behind this voice and the, and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Dina, the amount of time I've known you and I just learned that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Isn't that crazy? You think I would have known that? I think I've told it on previous episodes. I don't know if you have. I never heard you say it. I feel like we would have talked about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know your dad was in real estate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing new I could learn about you at this point or do you think there's always stuff that you can find out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you meet Danica Patrick, will you go, we have the same birthday?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it eagles? Was it eagles? Nope, the Bee Gees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I did my sleep test to find out if I had sleep apnea, I stayed up all night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Into the appointment, because that's what they tell you, because you want to be able to fall asleep when you do the sleep test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I showed up and it turns out the appointment was to schedule the sleep test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Sally Field only 10 years older than Tom Hanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the crazy part of it. There's a locker room at the comedy club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I brought all that camera equipment, no room in there. Cause Brian sold out the show this weekend. That's a good problem where there's no room to put a camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a guy at the East room, open mic here in town, got there early, had this huge camera set up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was on stage setting it up. There was like a ring light. It was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they pull it out. They pull it out. And that, that open mic, a lot of people try to get on with it every week. So a lot of people don't get up. Yeaah, cause they can only do so many people. Yeaah, the show can't be 8 hours long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? I know, but how, but are you, oh, you're called? Yeah, there's like, that open mic, there's like 30 minutes between the drawing and the show. Oh yeah. So there was no reason. Oh, that's true. That's true. He could have done it after that. Yeah. He did a lot of things wrong then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's dairy. Oh, eggs are meat aren't they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which is a vegetable. Yeah. Or a starch. What are starches?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have as much vegetables as you do fruit. You know? I think meat should be on the bottom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that I think you look at this intuitively, you think whatever's at the top is the best. That's true. So the top of the pyramid. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, top of the food chain, whatever. So you look at this and you go, alright, candy's king. Candy's the all-seeing eye. That's right. And then, you know, grains, that's at the bottom. Who cares about grains, right? But there's a new food pyramid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. My plate. Did you send me this one? You're my plate plan. So they just abandoned visual aids, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, okay. So you just think about it. Oh, it's a pie graph now, but they don't want to use pie. I guess that implies sweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not that much bigger, about the same size as grains. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not candy sugar. Yeah. Right. But let it get to that point, dude. I didn't get where I am because I got into too much pineapple last night. You know what I mean? Right. Right. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let me tell you something. I always want to eat better. We all do. Well now eating better is easier than ever with Factor. Every meal is fresh, never frozen, and dietitian approved. That's big for me. You will have over 35 different options to choose from. There are more than 60 add-ons available. Let me tell you something. When we started using Factor, they sent us a couple free meals. I've been using it ever since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For three years, I'm getting these factory meals. You heat them up, and if you don't like the microwave, you throw them in the oven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is the best option for lunches when I'm at home during the week. I never know what to eat for lunch. So this has been the perfect option, uh, for me. If you work from home and you're always looking in the kitchen for something, go get factor. It's the perfect solution if you're looking for fast, premium options with no cooking required. And it really is good food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Head to factor meals dot com slash Nate 50 and use code Nate 50 to get 50% off. That's code Nate 50 at factor. Brian, this is the call to action. Be quiet for a few seconds. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That Tacoma Comedy Club had a green room with all the candy. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have like a checks mix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] S'mores, rice, crispy treat kind of bar. Yeah. I had like four of them. I hadn't had sugar in two weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. 30 healthiest foods to eat every day. We want to up your nutrition game. And then we'll look at the worst foods and we'll compare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does that mean it's cut on steel, like they put it on steel, like marble slab?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Avocado. I've been eating avocados, man. Just what do you do? I skin it, put a little salt on it and just eat it like that. Wow. Just eat it plain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you miss a lot if you scoop it out with a spoon. So I just take the skin off it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This says drizzle, this is recommended you drizzle it with soy sauce. That's liquid salt. Yeaah. That's all soy sauce is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what I tell myself. Around this time everyday I think. I'll just wait till tomorrow. But I'll end up eating something. Probably some pretzels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe a little bit of peanut butter, dip the pretzels in the peanut butter. No, I won't eat an actual dinner. I'll eat enough random things that it adds up to a dinner, but in my head I'll go, I didn't have dinner. You know what I mean? Maybe some cheese, cheese, love cheese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, my body's not complaining about it. Yeah. It's like, I'm getting it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a little Caesar's. Greek yogurt on this list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I followed this guy, did it for about 5 days. This guy on Instagram I found, he's British, he's a big bodybuilder guy. His whole thing is like, eat eggs. So his meal plan was like, at 2pm eat 6 eggs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, then later that day you eat like protein and an avocado.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The darker the color, the richer these tubers. Tubers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any oxidant. Kale, I guess. You know, it's green. It's a super favorite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because let me scroll past the part of the article everybody scrolls past. Who's reading the intro? Yeaah, there's a story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you gotta get all these keywords in so that the article can come up. Search engine optimization. It's all just you're putting words in. It's all, plus these are all AI generated articles now, so it's all fake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, part of my old job used to be to write blogs for companies, and dude, if I had AI back then, I would've, I mean, I would've been done with work by lunchtime Monday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bacon number one on this list. That's tough. It's tough to see bacon out that early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Number three is fast food burgers. I mean, this is just, this is all my stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well they have some, uh, you know, some low sodium fast food orders. Suggestions on here, check those out. Fast food french fries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's gonna be. These are all the things I thought. Milkshakes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A milkshake will, uh, I might be lactose intolerant, because I drink a milkshake, my day is shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then donuts is next on the list. Oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This list says when a craving strikes, try splitting one with a friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want clothes to be fitted when I'm like at my best. I want it to work, always. What did you eat before? I had a, uh, I had a big burger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sugar added fruit juice, that'll kill you. That'll kill you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say, this list is, this is losing, I'm losing confidence in this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's starting to affect my everyday life. So I'm gonna choose to not believe it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It says it's been found to have the opposite effect. It was initially developed to aid weight loss, but it's now has the opposite effect. It raises glucose levels, overloads the liver, and causes the excess to convert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean, it's just, you know, you hear this stuff and you just, I'll just tune it out and I'll just live life and then people tell it to you. Sausage, more poor, all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's eight billion people, everybody's got a backyard, so just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adds up, I think. That sounds like a good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not for now. This weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is Aaron Weber talking by the way. This weekend I'm in Las Vegas, Nevada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] March Madness going on again. I'm gonna go check out the sphere. I'm gonna go check out the sphere. I went. How was it? We went to the sphere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope you're having fun. I hope you're staying safe, staying warm. I was in St. Paul, Minnesota this past weekend. I had a good time at Laugh Camp Comedy Club. Thank you to everybody that came.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, feels like negative 26 when I left St. Paul. And I thought, oh man, I can't wait for a little relief back in Nashville. And here's, this is Nashville. This is what we've been dealing with. So thank you for listening. Sorry we can't do a regular podcast this week. We'll be back and better than ever, uh, next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See special, check out this one tune in next week. Sorry about that. We will be back next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be safe, god bless, and uh, you know, just have a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know what I started doing? You know, with the new iOS, you can program tapping the back of the phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do it to anything, but yeaah, set it to Siri for a while. I tapped the back of the phone accidentally a lot. You talked to Siri quite a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well I didn't mean to, I would just tap it and by accident and Siri would pop up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you lined up Dr. Kahn, Sorsacor and Miriam Gregory, I could tell you which one was sore. I'll tell you that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's one of those things that's easy to be like, oh, I would have said this, but in the moment you just think, this is not worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say one time, I was driving down the road and there was a homeless guy beside us and I had all this change. And I, so he's going up asking for money and I go, I don't have any bills and I got all this. Do you want all this change? And he's like, ah, yeah, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give him this big handful of change and he goes, thanks. And then I watched him just walk away. He takes about 10 steps and he just throws all the chains off the stack. Wow. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also don't know if anywhere is reliably 100% going to stay open all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it wasn't, it didn't air in Nashville for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I made my television debut, didn't know about it, couldn't watch it in the city that it's based in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just an awkward kind of rollout. Cause it's a brand new station. So it was weird. Now it's if you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most places around the Southeast and even some of the Midwest, it's on, you'll see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done that. You have like some themed stand up shows here in town, like do all Christmas jokes. So you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, last Christmas I was at McDonald's and I went to the drive thru and had nothing to do with Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I worked with a comic who I worked with there the summer and every show he opened up with a joke about how hot it was. And then I worked with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Several months later in the winter and I was like, I'm looking forward. How is he good? He goes, man, it's cold out. Remember how hot it was in the summer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sock doc. We can now find and book in person or telemedicine appointments for medical or dental care. That is helpful for people that are on the go like us or work different hours like we do. We all know things. There are things in life that you have to compromise on. Like, you know, like where to film and ad read. But when it comes to your health, there is no compromise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or should there be? So don't go back to that one doctor you found because they take your slightly sketchy insurance, right? Or you like the waiting room or it's close to your house, like stop thinking like that. Check out ZocDoc, the place where you can find and book great doctors who will make you feel comfortable and prioritize your health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can search by location, availability, insurance. So no compromises here, because with ZocDoc,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got more options than you know. It's a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated and in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. So what are you waiting for? Go to zocdoc.com slash nate and download the zocdoc app for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then find and book a top rated doctor today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wouldn't want a guy who just does it on his own, just with no certifications?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't see it up there. You could see it. You could see it move across here that night, but I get what you're saying. No, it's fine. It's salad. You know, somebody's like speakerphone with like, yeah, I'm going down the interstate and then they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right. That's the scary thing about these is you literally, it hits and you're like, well, we just gotta wait it out. Yeah. We can't do anything about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I'd be much more willing to do something with a tornado than just about any other natural disaster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hurricanes terrify me. The water element of it terrifies me. There's so much, I mean, there are hundreds of miles across.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tornado, you know, it's, you can get away from it. I feel like you're mocking Tornado. No, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't- You can't just drive a mile to the left and be away from a hurricane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm talking about in the context of being a storm chaser and going, going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can avoid a tornado pretty easy, dude. Hell. I've never come across one. I've been, have been doing much. It's been working for me, dude. It's been working for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm from Alabama, but there are always, but I've never, never been up in one's face. No, I know. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I think tornadoes elsewhere in the world are fairly rare. It's like an American phenomenon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta go to like, Idaho. What's Idaho? They don't got anything going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, that's fair. There's a great hurricane storyline in West Wing. You tell me it's insane to be more afraid of a hurricane than a tornado?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what they think the world will look like when millions of years from now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are just, these are a few different theories of what it'll look, you know, 100 million years from the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Arthur, it looks like a kid trying to draw the world. Yeah. You know, and it's real bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this theory where all the other continents go up towards the North pole and Antarctica goes stays where it is. So we all just kind of join up at the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say they know he knows that super volcano and Yellowstone that if it exp...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's gonna, it's gonna create a nuclear winter. It's gonna erupt, block out, it's gonna dim the sun too much, dude. It's gonna turn it out way too much, and we're gonna freeze to death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. I go 400 sometimes just to save time. I'm impressed now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So 135 times hotter than enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know next time you hear some crickets, you're going to count them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They destroyed the, did the tornado destroy the Florida Everglades?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No tiger got on the loose in Knoxville. Oh, that was from a zoo. But yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ben Franklin did the first one, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The loudest noise ever in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crackatoa. Crackatoa. Erupted. Oh, the meteorite? 1880s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a big volcano. Yeah. Interrupted. It was so loud. It's the loudest noise ever. It circled the earth three and a half times. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sound traveled three times around so, so loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe the first time around you heard it. I don't know about the second or the third time around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this, this is, this is pretty crazy the way they have this word in this article about it. It says the Krakatoa explosion registered 172 decibels at a hundred miles from the source.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is so astonishingly loud that it's inching up against the limits of what we mean by sound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all know, y'all know about decibels. That's like a loud rock concert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, right. 120? So 172 is insane, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Super close you would just die from the volcano itself. The explosion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they still had, they still had like seismic, seismographs. Just on the go there. Back then in the 1880s I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I don't know that Nate's done Opelika before, but uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is sad though. If it is, was the best time of your life. It's like, not sad, but I mean, cause it could have been really great. Yeah. But if it just never improved after that, that's not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Swirly's really happy. My school, they were stabbing people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I just flew in this morning. I flew home and, uh, and, uh, picked up my kids and then brought them here. We've been sitting downstairs with, with my kids and then I left them down there. It's strangers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How long did it take to get comfortable doing that? What I just did? Yeaah. I'm still not. Okay, you're still thinking about it? Yeaah. But I feel fine about it. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean, as long as I have the ability to not do daycare, we won't be doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, will I homeschool? I don't know yet. I don't think Hannah wants to do it, but I don't want them to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I did some daycare, but I was also, you know, I was outside playing. I was in the woods and stuff. I mean, I, I was playing in a way that I can't ever see myself letting my kids play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, my, my wife's on the way. If you want to tell them, Hannah said she's on the way. I don't know, but, uh, uh, you don't have to. I don't, but if you want to tell them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a Thursday night there, really great, and then Dustin Nickerson was there on Friday and Saturday, and then I was in, uh, at the Tempe Improv.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really great. I love that club. So many people came out. Everybody's so nice. Uhm, the people working at the club really remarked on how nice all of my fans were that came. They were like, this is some of the best shows that we've had. And I was like, what makes it good? And they were like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The comedy's good, but you're also, you just have really nice audiences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, yeah, and I think that, you know, I've always been nice, but I think part of it is that I've done clubs for a long time where I've not really sold a lot of tickets. And it's like, you just feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just happy to be here. Right. You know, so you just kinda, so I think it's good to work your way up. That way you can stay humble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were, oh I'm sorry, you were there, Destin was there, John Chris was there. He was in Phoenix somewhere, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I was more just impressed by it, like that they actually named the movie Good Will Hunting, but that is something you could be doing. Good Will Hunting. You might just be hunting for a good good. What if you found that movie


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would like a lot of your jokes, but I would like a, uh, I'll take anybody's jokes though. I will. Good. I got one about the holy day. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Sparrow was not really around when I was there and that's where you were at. So you, uh, had a choice to go to Hyman's or Fleet Landing today and you went for Fleet Landing. Yeah. Which is, you know, some would argue as a better, better restaurant, but, uh, I wanted you to go to Hyman's just so you could see what was going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, their mom, Phyllis, uh, has passed away. So that would not have been her. How long ago? It could have been Eli's wife, but I don't. Okay. She passed away a long time ago?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta, yeah, you gotta have a rhyme in there. But Charlson's fucked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean, the thing you could do is just berate the club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A napkin and then a dish towel. I mean, there's a whole nightclub below this club. They couldn't find one towel that wasn't a dish towel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is true. And you know, and maybe this, and I don't know Jared Cooper's situation here, but maybe this is much like how we started this podcast where it's like, well, if you'd gone to Alabama, you know, who knows what kind of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Options Jared had. Jared picked a college. He got accepted. He's playing football. He wins a national championship. And you win a ring and still hear some random Yahoo trying to bring you down out here. I don't like it. Cause maybe if he's Justin Lee, uh, is trying to bring that guy down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mom has already said she wants to get some tickets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, she's got season tickets to the home games. Okay. And she will come to some away games, but she tried to get, I think she was, I tried to see if anybody had some free tickets for that Vanderbilt game. They were pretty pricey. I was like, I was going to get her some tickets and then I was like, nah, I don't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like stuffing is just a whole different thing altogether. Dressing is I got, I've been, people have been sending me dressing recipes. I'd like to bake a bunch of different dressings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't see, I've always been, I've always wondered why we do that. Like dressing when done right is like the best of all besides.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why can't we have it a little more often than once a year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, interestingly, people say dairy gives your body more mucus. So you could really be onto something here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That he brings up the Mandela effect though, that's fun. But, uh, yeah, I still think, I just think the dressing's gone because the older, I mean, I've been getting some recipes. People are saying it's still alive out here, but when your older relatives are gone, the good stuff's gone. They're taking it with them. They're taking it to the grave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I agree with that, but I also think that it's high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and I'm not saying I believe this. I'm just saying this is what's being said. That it, it, you know, it put us on a different reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's as if we've never read a history book. It's like every history book that you buy Chuck Yeager's on the front and they're like, you don't know anything about history. This one guy, he goes, he goes, uh, if you don't, if you don't remember history, you're doomed to repeat it. And I go like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know, you mean like, uh, breaking the sound barrier again? He's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, do you think we might break the sound barrier again? He goes daily. And I go, so you would say remembering history in this case helped us repeat it. And then he blocked me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm sorry I don't know him. I would wish I could have known Chuck better. I think Chuck would have liked hanging out with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slay and Jaeger. Slay and Jaeger have spent some time together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boom! Ah, man, this is perfect. I wish I'd known that this was my ad rate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, obviously, uh, Abby is not a big fan because if you start this, you'll go, if you're a big Nate land fan, you know that we've been drinking AG one for a couple of years. We all started drinking AG one daily and really feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're doing something good to cover all our nutritional basis. That's because AG1 is a foundational nutrition supplement that supports your body's universal needs like gut optimization, stress management, and immune support.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Abby, since 2010, AG1 has led the future of foundational nutrition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Continuously refining their formula to create a smarter better way to elevate your baseline health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Abby, I replaced my multivitamin with AG1 because it is much easier to mix the one scoop of powder and water once a day than to remember to take a bunch of different things. It takes under a minute and costs less than $3 a day and it tastes great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since we travel so often, Abby, we use the single serving travel packs so we never have to miss a day when we're on the road. You can get free monthly delivery to make it even easier. AG1 is a supplement we trust to provide the support my body needs daily and that's why they've been a partner of Nate Land for so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D3 K2 and 5 free AG1 travel packs for your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know what, this is what I do. Aside from drinking AG1, I go to the grocery store when I'm on the road. And I buy food and I just eat and I try to not eat at restaurants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got my stuff picked out. I make sandwiches and I got, I can go, I can go to the Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, get healthy stuff, at least what I hope is healthy and eat healthy all weekend and maybe save a little money as opposed to eating unhealthy and saving no money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I don't use it, I bring it back with me. Put it in my bag. I got a lot of... You've flown back with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. That's what I do. What about you guys? What do you do to stay healthy out there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I, I, I don't perform. She asked, have you ever had to perform while sick? And it's like, I feel like nowadays since COVID, nobody wants you to do that. But I have done it in the past. Like I did a show in DC one time. I had my shoes were so worn out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On stage. But the socks weren't wet? They were, but I didn't know what else to do. This is the DC improv? No, no, no. This was some other gig I put together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of souls were they? Well, they just worn out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, but I got poison oak and I was taking baths with like apple cider vinegar, trying to like really dry it up. And then I was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I got sick and I was real, real hoarse and I was doing shows in my socks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I got some new stuff coming up that I'm, I got some new plans, but you know, I've not been filming the Leaf stuff the way that I wanted to, but it's, it's breaking down nicely. I got, I got a real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm bringing in so many worms because of this that the moles are like. And you want the moles? I don't want the moles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that Jack Benny? Ye Olde Wishing Well? I don't know. That bit? I don't know. Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean like I like to be clean, but do adult comedy. Yeah. Like I'm talking to adults. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know. Yeah, I would say high school girls is not my main demographic. No, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're 11 friends. They don't want you to bomb. Right. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but it's like I fully agree what he says, uh, I take it as a cue to reflect on my belief. That's what we should all be doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hear some information and then do some questioning. You know, you don't have to agree or disagree. You just go, how does this influence how I think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One, they had a coffee table that you lift up. I mean, I ate so many Chips Ahoy cookies. I got sick. I don't know if it was the Chips Ahoy, but I got sick after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this is Nate's house, so it's tough for us to make that call.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's do it. Like a Polaroid? We should get a Polaroid. If you've taken a picture with all of us and you put it in the frame. You can prove it. You put it in the frame, send it to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, you said instead of anxiety, I think you said like, anxiety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like your accent really made it sound like your anxiety. Me? No, uh, uh, uh, Brian and uh, anxiety. Anxiety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a crazy story. But my, uh, I wanted to let you know that they lived. I needed it. I was like, where are we going? I knew Brian was dragging it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've been into a lot of space stuff and people going fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking when you started derail the podcast, you started, I was like, I'll never read encyclopedia Brown, but now I may order some on Amazon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had a Super Nintendo, you know, and I, we lived in a trailer, right? And I wanted a PlayStation, but it was like 300 bucks. Right. I mean, it was a big deal. So my mom wrote me these, wrote me this note and then gave me a present like a week early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you'll, you know, you'll like these games. Oh, she's hamming it up. Yeah, that's great. So then on Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I open up my present and she's gotten me the PlayStation. So it was like, she really manipulated my emotions for a gag to film me getting really excited about the PlayStation. Well, that's a core memory and also better help you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the, uh, so the same year, you know, I had divorced parents and, uh, my dad was married to a lady and she had a couple of kids and you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My stepbrother wanted a Sega Genesis, even though that was phasing out. We were getting into PlayStation world. He wanted a Sega. So I told my dad I wanted a PlayStation. He told them he wanted a Sega. So, you know, and the game boxes are about the same size. So, uh, on Christmas, uh, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My stepbrother opens his gift. It's a Sega. I've got a box similar size. So I'm like, this is exciting. You know, I opened it up also a Sega.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and they, my stepmom had told my dad that they decided that the PlayStations weren't going to work out because people were scratching the games and so it wasn't. So they got me a Sega instead, which was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so we, I didn't open the Sega, took the Sega back to my mom's house. Me and my mom took the Sega back to Walmart, traded it in to PlayStation games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now they never know. I mean, hopefully my dad doesn't watch this podcast, but, uh, uh, is he still married to her? No, no, they're divorced. We're safe. And you know, they got divorced later that, that next year. And by next Christmas, my dad bought me a PlayStation. Wow. Yeah. You're getting it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like my neighborhood, the trailer park, you were Sega or Super Nintendo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even remember Sega before it was Genesis. I didn't even know it was a different thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Super Nintendo was the best. Super Nintendo is where it peaked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see it. Macho man. Macho man. A rubber macho man. Look at this. I've had this since I was a kid. Are there joints?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is self-defense too. I mean, what does it say? I can't tell the date. 88 maybe? Oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was a really great one. Yeah. And then this is, uh, was my favorite He-Man. Um, and then this is some He-Man villain here. Oh, he's got a little neck thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I didn't know this. I didn't know this villain. He's got the exact same physique as, uh, he man. But this one was like, you know, he's got his, his, uh, thing there. And then if it got hit one time, it would be a little bit of damage and then hit again, more damage. So it's like impact team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was a kid, I was playing He-Man and I did like that, you know, and I, I was, I was, I was Adam changing into a He-Man and my cousin shot me in the chest with a BB gun before I could fully transition and, uh, went, uh, you had damage, right? Yeah. I went through my lung. Yeah. I was looking like this and, uh, still in my back to this day. The BB is, you do not have a BB in your back. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you feel it or is it just in? No, it's just in there. So it's not near.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to the hospital and I, yeah, I only spent a night in the hospital and they were like, he's going to be fine. A night though, that's serious. And the doctor was like, told my dad, he goes, you can take it out. He goes, you can probably leave it in there or you can have it taken out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think he was saying it's probably, it might be worse to go and cut you open and take it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I got x-rayed about 10 years ago and you could still see it in there. Wow. You ever go through a metal detector and it goes off? Never. I did have a MRI one time and they were like, do you have any shrapnel in your body? And I was like, well, a little bit. Yeah. Got some pencil lead. Yeah. And I said, if this BB comes out during this MRI, I want it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. The BB, I wouldn't, thought I could even do that. It's my grandfather's old air rifle, you know, so it's very powerful, I'm sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair, he says he didn't know it was loaded and he was, you know, we've got a little Alec Baldwin situation. Yeaah, it's a little rust happening here. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I learned my lesson for a while as a kid, but once alcohol got involved in my life, I left a lot of those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, Daisy gets into it. I mean, she plays with the macho man, but, but Daisy is very much like, she likes, she has a house that she plays with and she likes her little babies and she likes the, the mom of the babies. And she really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, Daisy really has some maternal instincts, I feel like, where she's, you know, we're not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I got all kind of toys at the, and it's like, she's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we're not forcing any kind of toy, but she does tend to lean more towards dolls and little babies and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you know, she also will get outside and rake some leaves and stomp in the leaves with me and you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Are you like, you know, maybe you just view in the world differently. Like you see this as a cooking utensil to me. It's a toy. Right. I think it's cool. Yeah. Thanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My sister had a dog that would eat wrapping paper at Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she would get in a rawhide bone, a giant rawhide, and it would eat the whole bone. The dog would eat everything. It would eat napkins. And we thought at first that it was napkins because you, you know, you'd be wiping your food on it. So it smelled like food, but it would eat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clean napkins. Huh. The only thing it, it had its two surgeries, cause it would eat everything and it couldn't digest a pine cone and a corn cob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I lived in a trailer and had a slinky. I had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did have a TV. We had pay per view wrestling to order. Oh, there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so funny you say that because I went into that store looking for just a bucket of Legos for my kid. I wanted to just get her something to play with and they were all kits. I'm like, I don't want her to have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I wasn't around for this debate, I don't think. So I really want to get into it, but I feel like you said people got sick of it. People did get sick of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta think there's a lot of, I would feel like there's a lot of countries and cities where there are a lot of homes, but not a lot of cars. So a lot of doors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's also a lot of doors in here. Look at all these doors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what it was. Provided it's not been melted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't look good for the country too, if the president's having to eat a possum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, GI Joe was, I didn't have a GI Joe to bring, but when I was a kid, that was my favorite toy. I had a ton of GI Joe's. Uh, I loved GI Joe. I mean, that was, that was everything to me was the GI Joe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you know, I don't, you may not know this about me, but I used to, uh, I try to, would make my, I would try to make my own toys. For a while I would cut, I would cut up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, little like, uh, army men, like the little plastic green army men. I had like cavemen, I had all the, and I would cut them up and then I would hot glue them back in different arrangements. And then I would paint them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's better than Johnny weeping. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are great. I'd love to have this too. I don't have the red hat version.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A beef jerky, now that's pricey, so it's like, that's a good gift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This weekend, I'm going to be in, um, the Liberty Funny Bone in Liberty, Ohio. Liberty Township, Cincinnati. Yeah, I'll be there Friday and Saturday. It's going to be great. Throughout this month though, I have two shows at Zany's, one on December 12th, one on December 18th here in Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Salt Lake City at the New Year's. Amazing. Wise guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Anything you might need somebody. That was a while ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He played with Ole Can Boyd. Remember him? I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Depends on how he, if he's apologetic to the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll forgive anybody if they go, sorry dude, one more time. You know what I mean? It doesn't sound like that guy was this way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think after the third time you go, why don't we all scoot down one and you just chill in the aisle. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have y'all ever done shows, either of you, in other countries where they have an intermission? That's the standard in a lot of other countries. They have an intermission in the middle of a stand-up show. Yeaah. I wonder if that cracks down on that kind of stuff. Having somebody get up four times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then he would open it back up with a video that they hadn't seen, and that would get people back in the room, and then he would come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if he's still doing it, but for a while there, the churches and the theaters and yeaah, it was like a 15 minute intermission.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was when I was in Jacksonville. I had an awkward interaction with a guy at the counter and then I went to my car and I'd forgotten my keys. I had to go back and talk to the guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beelined it to my car after the set. I didn't want to talk to anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I got in my car and they called me and go, you forgot to get a check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, well, let's, they're gonna mail it to me. But I'm not going back in the room after I just, I mean, I sprinted out of there. I don't want to look at anybody in the eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At school, where we did a few shows for students. So by, by the time I graduated, I had done stand up like five or six times. And, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I wasn't thinking too much about it. I was just working and just wanted to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a, this is a unique episode. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You did a great job with it because that's how I read it. He spelled it M M M M M H.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it's the most popular, but I think it's gotta be the signature.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but in fact, there's no drive thru with five guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there is a science to how the foods laid out on the buffet, right? This used to be my job. Been when I, when I came home from, from school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Hendersonville, Tennessee, I was the official buffet guy, ran the buffet table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I know the science of people's lives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, in a buffet, a steak is gonna probably, more than likely, it's gonna be sliced like that, yeaah. Or roast beef or something, where you can just grab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think the environment change, I don't think the, the, what the event is changes the etiquette at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. You do have a responsibility to move quickly through the buffet. So just everyone be aware of that. You see people and they meander and they lollygag. They need to move through it. Okay. That being said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's rude to hop somebody that you don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you go up with your wife, if you go up with a friend and you're both in line, then you can kinda hop amongst each other. But I would never hop in front of a stranger on a buffet line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think you walk right up to what you want. Then I think you abandon the concept of a line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, uh, health regulate. They want you to use a separate plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh, I've been waiting the whole episode to talk about Rocket Money. It's our favorite partner here. Rocket Money is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills. I can see all my subscriptions in one place and if I see something I don't want...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never have to get on the phone with customer service. They do all the leg work for you. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With over 500 million in cancelled subscriptions. What are you waiting for? Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash Nate. That's rocketmoney.com slash Nate. One more time. Rocketmoney.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a sketch comedy, I mean it was so funny. As a kid it was like, it was the best. And she was hilarious on that show. And they were like recurring characters, she played like a Judge Judy character that was hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I haven't checked in on her in a while, but she was in some movies that were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Yeah. And the, and the Amanda show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And actually, uh, Taryn, what's how you say it, Taryn Killam? Yeah. You know what's crazy? He was on the show too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now I've signed up. The onboarding process is easy. You put your information in, delete me goes in, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clears out all your personal data. Scours the internet for your personal data.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a person who exists publicly, I'm sure you're hyper aware of safety and security. It's easier than ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where they found it and what they removed and it's not just a one time service. They are always working for you constantly monitoring and removing the personal information you don't want on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take control of your data and keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me, now at a special discount for our listeners today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get 20% off your Delete Me plan when you go to JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate and use promo code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate at checkout. The only way to get 20% off is to go to JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate and enter code Nate at checkout. One more time. That's JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate. Code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like this guy is taking pictures of a tiger and sending them to you or is he finding pictures from the internet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were they like a different type of person that would watch either show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm in Columbus, Ohio at the Funny Bone this weekend, then St. Paul, Minnesota next weekend, and then Dayton, Ohio the next weekend. That's my January.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was a, you know, I got pretty, I was a little fired up to be honest and I don't remember what I, what I said. Uh, but the Manny, we actually saw the Manny cast tonight that is December 18th. So, uh, they actually apologized to my dad on the Manny cast. So I felt, I'm going to leave in what I said, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I came over for dinner. Yeaah, Graham K., uh, he's, yeaah, Nick Novicki's actually in this episode that you're gonna see today. So no, Graham, there's really not a point for him being here other than he was the reason I did it. He talked me into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is going to ruin my career, isn't it? Probably. He's going back to Canada. Alright, uh, alright, enjoy the episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Grand Canyon University, AG1 and electric e-bikes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Barghetti, Brian Bates here in Weber and sitting in for Dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nick Novicki. He's back. Old friend of the podcast. It's been a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like a positive way to tell someone they're wrong. Yeah. Yeah. She's two. Yeah. Yeah. She's three. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's two now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just positive. Well, welcome everybody. We're glad to have Nick back. Uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Christmas episode. This is the Christmas episode. We're all in the holiday spirit. Happy Festivus. Happy Festivus. I brought in that poll for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so we did the main, me and my dad did the main cast last night and, uh, you know, I don't think it was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, but I, and I'm just annoyed by it because it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The setup is not great. It's, it's, uh, there's a, there's a very, there's a big delay and I get you, I was not used to like, you know, you hear it and you don't realize it. I couldn't get that ear thing in my ear. Whoever designed them, like you see that a problem on TV a lot. You're like, let's, let's figure it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I said no, I had it in and it was in and then it started coming out and then it kept coming out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I don't put it in, like, I mean, but I wasn't told how to put it in, like I don't wear this. Well they should have done that for you. Well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't stripped. I think it was clipped to my hoodie or something. I was trying to like lift it up. It just got off to a weird like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I even tried to turn my head at one point cause it was, it pops out. Yeah. And so I tried to turn my head to the, cause I was trying to be like, all right, if it pops out while I'm talking, I just don't want that distraction of it popping out. So I'll try to hide it, but I mean, you can see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I always thought like should I went to it just to, cause in my head I did think that like should I go with it just to be like I need to like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he gets to know, yeah, my vibe and like, you know, cause that's the hard part when you do interviews is if the person, they don't know anything that I do and I'm not saying that they should.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not blaming them for that, but they know nothing I do. They know I'm a comedian. I'm, they're being, whatever they're being told. I don't, I would bet my life they have not watched a second of my comedy. They may be seen once. Maybe. I don't, I would say none of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you don't know, so they don't know me and don't know like how, you know, the first time I brought the center thing, I was actually, I was pretty proud of that. Like, cause I was like, y'all keep talking about the center. Like you brought them off the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're just, you wanna, like, you don't understand the comic, you wanna go like, I can just talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll be okay, you know, to do this. You have two games going on. And then, so I'm also trying not to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what to do with the games. It's like, I'm seeing, they can see both games. I can only see what you're seeing on TV. So sometimes they would see both games and then be like, wow, the Titans got the blah, blah, blah, you know, and, you know, and I also, a lot of those too, you think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you want me to talk football? Like I thought that's the whole point. Like when we went on game day, it's like, that's annoying to go, uh, you know, if you have a comedian and I'm telling you my real thoughts on football, that's stupid. They all do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's what I thought of this was like, all right, well, I'll just be funny and just try to bring up random stuff. Like the, when I said the, does the receiver, when he runs away early, does that mean he doesn't know? Like that was a whole thing to try to get that in. Cause it's like, we kept cutting each other off. Cause you're so delayed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when I asked that, like, you know, I'm just trying to ask fun questions. Like, I don't know, I'm just trying to be silly. I thought that was the whole point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I don't, I don't think they, there's no way, I don't think they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't have a delay on the game but they have a delay with you I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I'm saying they don't, I don't think they have a delay to each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're, they're, they can talk because when you see interviews on TV, you can tell when there's a delay, then you can tell when they're, you know, it's like, all right, they're at, they're both at studios basically. So you can shoot an interview with no delay, right? Like on PTA. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So like they have no delay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it's just, you know, and I'm not trying to complain. This feels like I'm complaining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I was annoyed by it. To be honest with you, I was, I was a little just, it's annoying to, you know, like it's, I know like, you know, they think like we're not, you know, it's, I got not a good guess. Mark Wahlberg, they said was not a good guess. It's not, I don't think it's fair to throw all that stuff on us. Why, what do we do? We're not doing anything. You're asking us the question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. They didn't even need guests on that one. Yeah. Too much football. Well, they didn't have Kirk Cousins on y'all sit and talk about football. They enjoy talking to football players. Right. Yeah. That's what they enjoy. They enjoy, you know, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like, I could feel like, cause they were saying like Mark Wahlberg's energy was not good. You're like, you can feel it. Because then when you feel how off it is, you just then go, you kind of have an I don't care attitude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like in your, you know, cause it's just like, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to get like a, uh, something off. I'm trying to get a rapport of being like, let's see if, if I was in the room with them. It'd be totally different. Totally different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you know, and then when my dad's bad trick, you know, they had it cut away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, something with my dad and then we're like, well, he could do a magic trick and you know, you feel like it's a looser kind of thing. It gets, it's set up and everything's pretty loose. It's not a, you know, this isn't a, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, well scripted. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, that's what's funny, dude. You do some stuff at some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think it's going to be this super high level kind of thing. And then you're like, oh, it's a run and gun kind of setup. And then, so if it's run and gun, you're going to be the one that's got to figure it out. And I should have figured it out. I should have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if I, I didn't, you know, it was a perfect problem. I had a really crazy weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we did a podcast and then immediately kind of went to that and I was just feeling a little, I was like a little burnout. I was excited to do it. And then, and then I'm seeing like the hurdles. I'm as, as I sit there, I didn't, I could have went, I should have went out there earlier. I should have sat there and realized what was going on. There's a little stuff I didn't pre-plan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but like when I went out there and then I heard the delay and then the, the, your thing, then you're like, oh, this is, you're like, this has a chance of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not being good. And then I was trying to say, you know, I'm just trying to say dumb stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause he was like, I'm just trying to, who cares? That doesn't matter what that is, what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I, and I've been pre-thinking questions that, uh, the, the receiver one I always thought about. Cause you see there a receiver that doesn't really get in the huddle and he takes off and you're like, Oh, this is a run play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, does the defense not go like, well, that guy's clearly not a part of this play. I mean, he didn't even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of hear what was going on. And I always think that, so that's why I asked that question. And then it's like, my dad's trick is like, they, you know, they just cut away right at the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, it's, the setup is not in our favor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it should be a little bit more in, you should at least explain it. If we have a guest on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's not, and it wasn't good. That's not the guest fault.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes when you do this stuff, it's like, you just need to get know like, Hey, this is very loose. Just be told there's going to be a delay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very loose, you know, like just, they will talk about football. It's, it, they, they sit in the questions before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm trying to read them, try to see if I can come up with something. And some of them trying to be like, well, I'll just flip it and just ask, like ask the questions I asked, like, and see if that kind of gets a thing going. It's hard to get a conversation going when there's that much of a delay. And then because I got a delay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I don't know, if they're, if they talk over each other or something like, it's, it's very hard to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of like, really be like, get into a good rhythm. Like you can really only talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, then you're just sitting there watching a football game. Two games. Two games. What's my face supposed to look like? Honestly, I sit there going like, all right, try not, cause I would, I would see it and it looks like I'm mad. And I'm like, well, I'm just at home watching a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like that joke was, yea, they had me do the free range chicken joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mannings are, I have nothing, I'm not, there's, like I'm wearing all veiny stuff to make a point today, but it's, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, yeah, and we got a lot of Tennessee, you know, obviously probably tons of Tennessee fans, Ole Miss fans. Everybody loves them anything. I get it. I like, like they're great. It's, that show should not have nothing but their friends or football players. Like you either need to know them so that you can have rapport. Taylor Luan and Will Compton's interview was better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They know each other and they're talking football and they're telling variable stories and the Mannings light up about that stuff because they like that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm doing Zoom. You know how crazy that is to do Zoom?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's insane. Like that, I mean, what are we doing? And it's not, it's not a good Zoom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not the zoom that you want it to be like a zoom, like a work zoom that we've all figured out how to do. It's a zoom that's delayed. So then you're just sitting there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were, I mean, the two guys were very nice. Two older dudes, they were very nice, but yea, I don't, I mean, I don't, no one cares.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is my lesson, or if I, younger comics, maybe younger, any field you do, no one cares if you look good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just always remember that no one really cares. So you gotta do your best part to look good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And whatever you do, I think really anything, no one is no one. And by the way, it's not their responsibility to care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you, they just, they're, everybody's trying to do their best kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but they're not going to care if it goes bad. Maybe that's what I mean. They're, no one's going to really, if you don't do good, they're just, they write it off as like, I'd imagine they write that as like, we're never going to, like, it was pointless to have Nate on. So like that's, mark that off. I'll never get asked to do it again. Where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you wanna go, and that's fine, I shouldn't ever do it again. It's not the right, I think I could be really good on it, but I can't in that situation. And, uh, you know, it's hard to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's, you know, I, it's, you know, it's like, you just realize no one, I, I just, you just can tell they, they just don't know who, when, when you're a comic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're on a show. If a person doesn't know anything that you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's usually radio interviews are like that where sometimes if interviews have gotten easier for me, just as more people have realized who I am. But at the beginning, that's the hardest part for comics because they don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't care who they're interviewing. Right. And they, so it's like, you gotta interview this guy who's doing the combi thing. They go, okay, whatever. Like, you know, you know, and then they do it. And then it's just not, like, there's no work. And I don't know if the meanings are, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they probably put, they put work into that. That pre-taped audition thing they sent me, they already, like, I had a, I had a film that, we filmed it, I was gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Film it on stage. Like, I could've set up stuff to be really fun. And that's what I should've done. Take control and be like, if you want me to do this, I'm gonna send you the stuff that I wanna do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause this will be better. I could have filmed that at State Farm Arena. That, that question made fun of Peyton on stage in front of 13,000 people. And then videoed it. It would have been funny and it would have been, and it would have just been a fun kind of thing. But it was like, they do this audition thing. They send me their answers. Like pre. So now I have to do it their way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they've already pre-taped these answers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now it's like, all right, so I got to go stand in front of a camera and do my joke. And you know, it's, it's, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I would imagine most people that they deal with want it that way. Cause they're not a creator. But when you're a creator, you're just like, I don't know, what? No, I don't want to do that. Do it this way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, you know, it's like who am I to start bossing them around and telling them to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, no, that's the bit, the, the, the, my joke is obviously the football joke. And then they, all the stuff I said about Peyton, they wrote. So I just did it because I mean, you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to do, I had to make fun of him. I'm not trying to say it in like, some other way, but I had to make fun of him because, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's what it was. There was a lot more questions we were going to talk about too, but I mean, it's, it's a, it's just a tough situation. Like you're just not, you know, and I mean, it's like, you know, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't wanna, it's, it's not a pro, I don't wanna, I know this, you know, it's like, I'm complaining. I just, I was like, it's just annoying. Like, it's just like, it's kind of annoying to be- Well, this just happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it happened. It happened hours ago. Yeah, we're pre-recording this. So yeah, this, I mean this, it happened last night and I was just so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like, it's a, it's a, just not a good situation. And you want, and I, but I should have figured it out. It's not on them. If you know, that's what I mean. When you go to do something, it's not going to, you don't, I don't, whatever you think you want your appearance to be, they, you're just a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Peg in this, whatever that's saying is. Cog in the wheel. Cog in the wheel. So you're not really important. If you, if I canceled immediately, they would have been like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same amount of viewers watch whatever they, it doesn't mean anything to them. So you, I should have been more prepared. It made me realize that like, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need to be, I should have been more prepared to do it more like what are we doing? Like what are, you know, I did it. So then then I get myself in a situation like I was in, I should have done that. And then it made me realize too, like, all right, if I'm doing something, I need to make sure that the other people are getting the best treatment that they could, you know, that they could get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, you know, to put them in the best light. And if it doesn't go, then it's, it's not really on me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your day is full of to-do's, responsibilities, and balancing work with spending quality time with loved ones while finding time for yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With everything you have on your plate, earning your degree online seems impossible. But at Grand Canyon University, they specialize in helping you fit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your bachelors, masters, or uh, doctoral degree into your busy day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] GCU is an affordable private Christian university based in, uh, beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. Been there a bunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Offering 330 academic programs with over 270 available online as of June 2023.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From scholarships to academic support, your GCU graduation team,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lead by your own university counselor, provides you with the personal support you need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your personalized plan and team can help you achieve your goals. Find your purpose at Grand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Canyon University Private Christian Affordable. Visit gcu.edu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't like talking to athletes is tough sometimes. I don't love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talkers in a, like, they can't just go. That's a hard thing for comics. Cause we're talkers. So we just like to like, roll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then if you're talking, when you're doing a straight interview, they, I mean, I, I've had it happen a lot where people don't think I'm good in interviews and all this and it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you're getting asked these questions. It's like, I can only make the questions, the answers so fun. You know, and it's like, you get a mix of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How is Saturn allowed to, so when did you know you were funny? And you're like, I'm still, you still answer those questions. You're like, well, what am I supposed to say? Like, just be mad at the guy and be like, like, what is this question?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I don't know. Well, it's over now. But I was glad to get, I wanted to get this off my chest. And I wanted to do it publicly. Maybe I'll see the mainings again. See if it gets weird. I'll make it as weird as they want to make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember when you were talking on stage and the mic was not even near you, but you were still, you gotta, you gotta, your voice, your voice is good. You project, you project, you're like, cause you do theater. You do theater. I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the maining cast. So that's how it went. It went like that. Uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it'll be fun to see if I ever see him again. Why would I, I don't know why would it cross paths? Oh, you're going to go to dinner with Eli. I was supposed to. I would go now. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really would. I would, I would, I would love it now. I honestly, if I got asked to go again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if they set it up, I would go, cause I would want to feel how I, and not that they would, I don't think he would even feel anything, but I would, and I would make it awkward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you going to finish early and then be mad at us? Cause we're not done yet. Cause you got your food first, Eli, Peyton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's exciting. All the, again, all the Tennessee fans, when we drafted Will Levis, the Tennessee fans trashed him. And like, he's been fun. I didn't know. I was excited that we got him in the Tennessee fans who know everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they know everything about everything. They said he was like bad. Well, this dude's been fun to watch and he's at least energetic and he's pumped up and he's excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a fun thing. It's a fun vibe that we got going on the Titans. It made me, I want to watch the rest of the seat, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's, it's super exciting. It's exciting to be like, all right, dude, like, is this guy going to, like, I don't know what he might work out, but if you're that excited and pumped up, I don't care. I know. Like that's all I want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Hopkins has been not, dude, it's been the titans are, we're fun. We've been fun is that's what we needed is just some good energy. That game was super fun. Yeah. And I look, I loved it. We won. I mean that way they, they gave, we were down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two touchdowns with four minutes left. I think three minutes left, right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well that's a little bit different than what I just said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like every team's been down by this for this much time left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, all right, that's kind of, and he did it very well. Cause he goes, that's, he goes, all right, that's the lag we're going to be dealing with. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and they did good. They just talked over them. They did, they did a much better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They know them, so it's, it's, it's, it's, they, they, they were really, really good. Everybody was really good outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, well thanks, yeaah, thanks for, I know, you know, you guys don't have to, I don't want to hear this finting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, I just had to get it out. I felt safe doing it with all you, with all the folks. Yeah. Seemed like good, everybody's good people. We get it. Yeah. They get it. All right. That's the end of the show. This could be just a bonus episode. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if I, what if I get paid and Eli would come up? What if I should ask him to come on the podcast? Both of them? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just ask them all the questions they get. Why do, why is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't y'all get more of a heads up. It's one of those things where it's like someone and you do something where someone like invites you to do something and they think you just know how it works and you want to go, Hey, I've never done this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like maybe like let's, we should have definitely talked more about, it was very, it's a very loose invite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Staying in elevation every show. You know, I did the University of Delaware right after Joe Flacco, uh, got drafted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Yeah, I brought that up on their, their, they cheered. One of the first colleges they did. They got cool colors. Blue and white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is cool. It's pretty basic. Yeah. Well, I mean, every, every school is basic. Every color is basic. It's what you do with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they do fun stuff with it. It was, uh, yeah, look at that. That's fun.