[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, some fashion will. I hope they even show the other comment going up to say, Hey guys, Brian didn't get a standardization.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If someone walked in the room, they'd be like, oh, how old's Brian? 17. And they're like, see, you walked out. He's a kid. He's a kid that they're like, yeah, I'll do that for that. I mean, what is he, like 17 or something? First show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. Super fun. Yeaah. Yeaah. He's great. Yeaah. Uh, wow. That's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, for the record, I did not ask. But it's the taping is like, it's just such a weird, like you're like, well, you know, they, they, they have no footage of anybody standing. But truthfully, they could have just used the footage of another comedian and show you that's what they're probably going to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think you guys, the fans know where they stand with Dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That area is, can get, uh, just be a zoo. Just cause it's, uh, it is, they have that bar and then when you have two shows and they're coming and going again, it's, it's just a hard place to, cause they put you like right out and that's, that's an awesome club. It's so great. Uh, and it's so great that there's so many people there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a good thing. And then you have like, yeah, that next door, yeah, it gets hard. And it is hard too. Sometimes you think it's like, you're staying out there, you're like, you don't know that people want to, you might be like, is it over? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and you feel awkward and you're like, I'm just staying here. I don't want to make someone come up to me. And so it's, sometimes it's like confusing and then you're like, I'm going to just go back because I'm, you know, it's almost pure awkwardness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he, yeaah, yeaah, it was just, uh, yeaah. Well then you get that mix too, you just don't know who's going in where. But I mean, it's a, it is interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's the weird part too is you don't want to be standing out there when the next show is walking in. That feels very uncomfortable. Cause it's like, it's like from what's that word? Presumptuous. It feels very presumptuous that you're, uh, you know, that you're sitting there and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you could there. There's a lot of, there's, you know, there's maybe some homos in Phoenix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now Phoenix is awesome, but it's, uh, yeah, the other clubs, like, uh, yeah, when you have to go pee, like in, you're like, I'll go in a stall and then you just, if you hear someone come in and you just gotta wait till later. Cause you're, no, you just, you know, you don't want to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know comics that would, that don't care. Yes. That's a level of confidence. I've had to do it, but it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, let's throw some of you guys, uh, comments. Uh, as always, we appreciate you writing all this stuff in. Uh, Chris E. I'm from Alabama and pronounce compass the same way as Dusty. Everyone I know says it this way. Maybe it's an Alabama thing. What was the word? Compass. Compass? I'm not familiar. Compass. What'd you say? Compass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, give me the compass, I'll do it again, but I've already compassed today. Already compassed. Sounds like that. I got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that while trying to figure out how to pronounce the word compass correctly. Four comedians compared it to words like comcast, but never comedy. Thanks for all the laughs guys. Yeah. It's not comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tan demand, you can use the word had four times in a row in a sentence and it still makes perfect sense. For example, what he had, had, had, had an effect on people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love to say had had. I like a nice had had. What he had had done. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dustin Gaddis, I'm not here to advocate for Klingon, but if it has a whole alphabet and people speak it, is it really a fake language? Who decides when a language is real or fake? Which is spoken more today, Klingon or Latin? That's a good point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know, and then just be like, we do Klingon. And then you'd be like, if you come to the town, you have to do it. Just a bunch of like real Klingy people. Yeah. I think we said it before, but it is crazy. Latin was the one that everybody, they were like, you need, you should take Latin. People, I just remember people taking Latin and it's just gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The deaf actually also created the football huddle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Galata University was the first all deaf university and their football team realized after several games that their opponents were learning the signs they use for the various plays. Thus they created the huddle to keep their next move a secret. Wow. There they are. Look at that. That makes sense. Football players were built a little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, leg packs. I ain't probably just kidding. I wonder what the injuries were back then. They always talk about the helmets. Like if you just took the face mask off a helmet. Like you made them play with no helmet or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scoot Roos. Scoot Roos. It's Scott. Scott. Scott Rouse. I'm the guy from the behavior panel that talked about Nate being the most competent sitter I've ever seen. I'm a body language expert and analyst and I train law enforcement in the military and interrogation body language. Just a heads up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The 93 body language thing is a myth. If you've ever played charades, you know how hard it is to communicate without using words. That's true. I don't understand what he's saying, but I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You sit down like you're always, like someone's about to ask you to leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, North Face Jacket star.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take that off. At least give yourself a chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You read into that. It would be, it's like, you just should have a jacket. I wear hoodies and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it's like just, just bring a nice, like at least like, uh, somewhat either, yeah, I don't know, like a hoodie or, I mean, maybe zip it up and even like, and don't show the- I think you can zip it up a bit more. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you let them know a Wrigley field to be like, I know y'all are a town and you've seen ya. Here's part of my Wrigley shirt I bought. It's a little too tight. So you were going to wear short sleeves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I look, you're, they can, you probably, people probably go back and look and there's, you're going to find just nonsense that I have on. But if you do do it, you got to look, decide what is a YouTube, if some of the podcasts doesn't count or if it's like a YouTube interview doesn't count. But if it's a TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I heard it was open air this interview. Got a dome in here. He goes, I didn't realize there was going to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You take, like, a good, a good go-to, uh, for like, you know, this is a sports show, so it's like in your comic, like, so you don't wanna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, David, just give him, give him, if you, if you hear, if you hear this David, just give him another chance. It is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how you can wear it. Like you could wear what you're wearing and just, and just be like, you're going to be all right. Really. It's either, it's either like it, it's going to look nice or it starts becoming your character of what you're wearing. Like it's either way you can go. Right. I just try to dress how I'm going to perform that night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I'm making fun of you. There might be something that I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is true, you learn it. You learn it. And you go alright, yeaah. Cause you do learn, I mean I had an old Conan, I had a shirt that had like the tag on it of someone else's name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looked like one of those gas station shirts. I think that was the kind of the style then, but it was like, yeah, why would I wear a shirt with another man's name on it? I like to wear my own hats on late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You look confident though. So you do a merch pitch when you go out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, welcome to Conan. I just, yea, it's five minutes of merch, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dakota, this is the Dakotas episodes. Uh, Shay Martin, I am from South Dakota and was so excited to hear the podcast come out about my home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Sturgis Rally is nuts. We all rent our homes and get out of town because the traffic is just insane. The majority of the people that attend the rally have their bikes shipped in on semis and they fly in and meet their bikes for the week. It is a unique, one of a kind experience and you should all come to check it out, but we will not be here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I bet they get, you know, you just get older. You're probably like, we go do drive it from Florida. You know, you're like, eh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being born in Fargo and living in Alabama, I might as well have been born in Narnia. When I went to Auburn for college, I had multiple people tell me they didn't think Fargo was a real place, only a movie. I had friends that would introduce me and say, this is my buddy Larry. He was born in Fargo. I think I would do that every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look them up on your own time, ladies and gentlemen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Nerum, as comics, my fiance and I moved to Nashville from Fargo after seeing Dusty and Nate live, North Dakota is a weird, fun state. I met John.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we would have loved to. We went, we did, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we did, uh, uh, that it was aw- I mean, it was awesome. Uh, I tell you, I mean, uh, we're at Fargo and then, uh, Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls is a theater that is beautiful. Sioux Falls, South Dakota. And, uh, I mean, it was like, you're like, you could take the special in this theater and it would look awesome. Like it was just, it was inside an old high school and inside of the high school, they put this,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The physics episode's comment. Uh, Craig Brannon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that you guys brought in an expert for the Bigfoot episode but not for the physics episode says it all. That is true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taylor Smith, the fact that this experiment wasn't tested prior to the episode is the exact reason I love this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Caleb Bell, as an engineer, I was expecting this pod to be riddled with errors, but there wasn't that much to correct. Here's to new beginnings, gentlemen. Well, that's what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I usually, I keep my, my beard is, uh, usually kind of short and trim. Uh, so I love the PT 45 trimmer. Eric, uh, when Eric's on the road, he helps me, when Eric was not with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and Matt came on the road with us. Uh, I shaved, and I did it, I shaved my beard with the PT-45 trimmer. Uh, and it was great. It looked, uh, I liked it, I liked it, like it was just easy to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it's got the big battery, like shows you what your battery is left on it. Uh, and you can just do it like, it's gonna short you on it. I mean, I got it like real short cause I was like, remember, like I couldn't remember the, which one I'm supposed to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think 1.4 is like a good solid number if you're trying to go low. Yeah, like if you're trying to go low. Uh, I mean, I went 0.5, which is basically takes it down. My beard grows fast, but it was, uh, it was an awesome to use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, there's no painful hair pulling. There was none of that. It is sturdy. It has amazing battery life. This is the same trimmer that NBA player James the Beard Hardin uses. He's also an investor in the company. The growth kit features spray to strengthen and moisturize your beard, hair, oils that prime follicles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For optimal growth and a derma roller that rejuvenates, rejuvenates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rejuvenate. Rejuvenate. Rejuvenate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that was too many. That's a mouthful. Yea, that was too many. And then the rest of it goes, dormant hair follicles. That's all the words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ohls that, ohls, I don't wanna say ohls right. So I get started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can start oils that prime follicles for optimal growth with a derma roller with rejuvenations. Dormant hair follicles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No matter what type of beard you have, Beard Club has the perfect fit to keep your needs. Beard Club, over 2 million beards served. Grow your best beard today and take 20% off your first order when you go to beardclub.com slash Nate and use code Nate. That's beardclub.com slash Nate code Nate for 20% off your first order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I get into it. Uh, before we get started in, uh, just this episode, uh, I did go, one of the places I went this weekend, uh, in Rockford, it was at Roscoe, Illinois, right by Rockford, Rockford by the way, I went out and I said, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, here to be in Rockland, I called it Rockland. And I've never done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was because, and I told him to, I was like, oh my gosh. But I was like, I was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Opening with a joke about something I did that day in that town. So I just was like, and I was like thinking about it right when I went out and I was like over, like just thinking about that joke. So you just kind of just, and then I just said, Rocklin. Uh, but so they have a, there's a historic auto, uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of the better museums I've ever been to. So it's a guy that, like, collected, he just has cars of everybody. That's Elvis's car, they have, uh, you know, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not their car, but they have, he has the, that's the, from the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they have the, he has the actual hat that Bonnie and Clyde were both wearing. She had like a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he has a bunch of stuff like that, like it's unreal, uh, the amount of stuff he has. Uh, the craziest that he had, you go to, he has, uh, Stalin's car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he has Hitler's car. And there's a picture of Hitler in the car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a guy there, if you ever go to this place, go ask for Tony. He was an awesome man that helped us with, uh, I mean just knew so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to post something on Instagram about it just because we were very surprised by this. It's pretty wild. It's pretty like, you know, just when you go see, I mean, it was like, they did have a lot like Stalin's car. They had like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of stuff, like I mean, Hitler's car is crazy and you're like, it's like a lot. Like you're like, golly. And they have the, so they have the, also they have Batmobile and Ghostbusters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so like, first we're like, oh, we'll see Batmobile Ghostbusters. And like by the time you get to Batmobile Ghostbusters, you've seen, uh, JFK car and the Hitler stuff and Stalin. Like you just like breeze by. You're like, who cares about Ghostbusters? It was just, uh, over like that whole part. I mean, it was, we had a lot of, it was so interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And ask for Tony if you go. You should go to it. Not a lot of people know about this. People in that town don't know about this. And it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's huge. We could have spent, especially with Tony, like Tony was saying he would do tours. So you can set up a tour, you can ask Tony with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and he was like just a wonderful man. He was like 74. He's been married and his wife in the other 53 years. And, uh, he has a Sanford Sun truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, Tony's not the owner, he's the one that like, he just volunteers his time. But they have it. They have it, yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they did. I don't know. They could have not had that. Like, uh, I don't remember seeing that, but I also could have missed some stuff. I mean, you end up...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, you just can't, like, when he's talking about Hitler and like what they, you know, it's like- Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just having that, like, you're there a lot. Like, you're like, this is wild, dude. Like, it's almost weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, cause it's one of those like, alright, should you have that? Do you want that? But like, they, he talked about it, like it's, they have it behind glass, it's very weird and creepy and, uh, they talked about it being creepy and, you know, he's like, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but it's, it's, I don't know. Did Hitler drive himself? No, no. And so what, what to do with his, with his car was, so you know, his, his plan was, uh, and I just know this because I learned it this weekend. I've actually watched a movie on it, like I, I asked, he was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, part of it was, uh, I actually might try to do this joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'll just say it. It's, uh, but I was like, he keeps going, uh, he was like, Tony would know the file numbers of stuff. He's like, what's in the archives of file numbers 7, 4, 5, 6, 8, like that. I'm like, Tony, I don't even know if I know what World War II was about. So, you could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We like, we were, you know, I'm like, it's good on the file. We're good on file numbers. I was like, I'm learning everything from you right now. Uh, I don't remember school, Tony. And so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, yeah, it was just so interesting. Uh, so crazy. That's cool. And where, and where is this? Oh, Roscoe, Roscoe Illinois. Yeah, it's near Rockford.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. Yep. They have race cars, they have Bigfoot, like a Bigfoot truck. Oh yeah, I remember a Bigfoot. I mean, so just getting to stand up close to that. Monster truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those tires are, they're 10, 12 feet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks, it's like a regular, it's a regular truck on the top, it looks like. Which we thought it's funny to, if you sold that and you're, you know, and it's like, you're like, that's a regular truck. The cabin is regular. And you know, it's like, wow, the wheels are, you know, the wheels are there. The wheels are there. Good size tires on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was parking it. It was either easy or hard. Uh, it could be either one. Yeah. If you want to run over some cars. Extremely easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but if you're more self-conscious about that kind of stuff, it's going to be difficult. You got the pork far out. How's your insurance? Yeah, insurance liability only to be honest. You don't need anything else, but get the most of the liability you can possibly get. You're going to need all of that. Uh, yeah, it was, it was, it was a neat, uh, very neat surprise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause then you would just be like, okay. My alma mater. Yeah, like it would be like just a regular, you know, like, uh, Eastern Michigan. You're like, okay. All right. Like good. You're like, and make it, you know, that's what they should do. These other colleges, if you don't want to compete with Harvard, just go, we do fun things. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. And you go, well, I want to know where goose bumps come from. These should do it. Jacksonville state here. We love figuring out how big are ears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And why? And why? Are yours too big? Too small?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd like to know what host is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I started watching The Descent, uh, I was trying to watch it this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and uh, I kind of had to stop. I was like watching it. I was like, I don't know if I'm going to be like, they're in a cave. It's like tight spaces. And I'm not even deep into it. And you're kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I, I, it's, it's, it's, I don't know if I wanna, yeaah, open something. I don't watch movies like that at all. I lay in a bunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, you're just in a bunk laying there watching it. You're like, so you're already in a, like, and I don't get caught probably on the bus but it's, you're already just,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nonstop. I mean, they did good where they make you want to go see it, but then it's got to be just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did ghost hunting this weekend. I mean, just the theater in Rockford, they said was haunted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, Justin had like one of those recorders that you ask, uh, you know, how long did you live here? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love ghost hunting shows, like I love watching them do that stuff. And then when you're doing it, you're like, am I supposed to be doing this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Dusty's coming through. Yeah, they should show the video. Can you look it up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would, uh, yeaah, uh, yeaah, I don't know if I like the recorder thing. I like going in if it's creepy and you're like, oh wow, like kind of just filling it out and stuff. But yeaah, once we were doing that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did it, and it was funny, because we were just being kind of funny. Uh, but then you're also like, I don't know if I can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be asking these questions, you know? It feels weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never seen Candyman, but I feel like Candyman is one that people always talk about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is interesting because I don't know what the other one would be. Like there's, then it kind of, what's another like franchise one? That's like, cause it's like those were just so around. The screaming, the screaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's doing the screen things. I think she's probably got a lovely life of like, she pops up on these screen movies and does a great job as the role of them and uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made a ton of money living it up. Uh, Canadian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew that, cause it was interesting about Scream, was that they opened, like, Drew Barrymore at that time, was the most famous, like, actress. And then, it was like, that's how good of a movie it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I like, I feel like they just did stuff that was like, no one did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Right away. Right away. And just be like, she's on the post, I mean they used her for the posters and for everything where you think, alright, well, she's gotta be having a big part in this movie. And then just to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, I think they're, I get worried that they're too gory now. Like it's just getting, like, you're like, alright. And so that scares me off from most of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if one comes along, I watch the cabin in the woods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good one. Drew Goddard. He directed, he wrote, directed my pilot. He, uh, he wrote that movie. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scary movies kinda? Yea. And it's like, that has gore in it, but it's like just, it's gotta be done really where it's, it's... Tastefully. Yea. It, it, it can't just be, you know, they're doing stuff now, you're like, you know, like even that terrifier too, like if it's like, you're like, so you're just showing the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I just don't, that's not my thing, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you had just the fear of like who's about to come around the door. Like that's what, you know, what's about to happen. Like that's the scare. I don't want to be grossed out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't feel scary to me if it's like I'm gross. If you're grossed out, you're kinda like, well now I'm just gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that's the fear that I would say I like. Like it's like that where you go, you go camping and you think, oh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you, so, if you don't like that, what horror movies do you like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's tough. That's always the most fun thing to do though, if you could sneak in and go do two movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was one of the best things we ever did. Yea, it was a lot of fun. On the road, like, uh, yea, Louisville, right outside Louisville, Kentucky, uh, they did it where we, it was awesome. Like just, we played it. That was pretty intense. Cause you just had a building next to you, like a, it was like a power plant or something. You just hear something in the woods. I mean, we're just in the middle of nowhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and we're just sitting alone in a drive-in theater on chairs watching Halloween.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one's probably missed. Okay. And I just think with the family man thing, I just think you could have said it gets an alternative universe and you said the other thing and then you just at the end, you're like, and the color is blue and you're like, well, I don't know if you need to say the end, you know, but no, that's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, we were supposed to go see it, we were in New York, and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jay was like, Rob Zombie was, it was the first like, screening of it. And so, uh, Rob Zombie was in like a diner nearby there eating or something and Jay kinda knew him or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so Jay tells me, he's like, go get in line and like to get the tickets. And I was like, all right, so I'm in line. I'm waiting. They go do whatever. They come back and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just standing there like alright, like how's it, you know, you got the tickets as I'm waiting for them. And I was in the line with people that already have tickets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, did you see the hills have eyes? And I was like, no. He goes, well I wish the hill had hands and they'd give me my money back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, all I think about, he never did it on stage, it was just a joke like, and then, and then this is what I love about comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's almost, this shows you what a comic's brain goes through. He said that, I go, you didn't like it? He goes, no, I loved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it almost like I learned something about comedy when he said that. Cause you just learned that like, oh, you're not attached to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, yeah, I'm just like. Just funny. I was just funny. I was like, I just said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, that's how you can't make fun of stuff that you're actually currently doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, even though I'm eating better, I still, I mean, I still figure out how to get McDonald's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I will always figure out how to get McDonald's. I drink enough diet sodas. I'm not gonna stop. I love it. That's another joke I had something about. I gotta remember that. I'm not gonna say that. But, uh, but it's, it's, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like your, it's, you just, you find, I like gummy bears and all that. People give them to me after shows and they're always like, I know you're unhealthy. Don't worry. I'll find a time. I'm not going to let this leave my life. I'm just like, I'm not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I was eating an entire bag every night, and then ice cream, and then like, it was wild. I see old pictures too, like now, it gets worse and worse. Like, you're like, golly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the, that, and that's the hardest part to kick. And that goes with food too. And, uh, food was, I probably had more, I probably had a big problem with food more than I realized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he was like eating, that's the hardest part. Food and, uh, you rat, your life is when you're, your life shouldn't be around one thing and it's hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You realize that like it shouldn't be dictated by whatever, you know, either the bad thing, cause it's like, you're just like a dick. Like you're like, well, I have to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I could go eat McDonald's right now. I don't think I'll ever get where you like, you know, a lot of people get like, I couldn't eat McDonald's anymore. Like I can, I can eat it every second of every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're not a big fast food guy. No. You're a thank you. You're a big chain guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was somewhere and they were like, you have to have this chicken sandwich. Oh, Abigail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went to over where our bus is here in Nashville, uh, where night train the bus is. There's a gas station. I forget where you get like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that stuff too. I like gas. I mean you just wish you could eat it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just, it's, that's, that's the brutal part. You just look at it and go gah. But that's the hard part is you know, you could. You could. You could. You could. You just gotta know that so you don't know what your good feels like. That's what I've learned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the trick with everything. You gotta, you gotta think about the other days and not in the moment, but it's hard. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, it's over. I made it. I think if you would have asked me why people like it, I would have said what you said without using those big words. Yeah. So I'm glad it went to a science lab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm glad I made it all the way up there and they go, let's study it. Why do people like this? And they go, I don't know. You think it's cause it's exciting? Tense? And then when you're done, you're like, whoa, that was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like the pain you feel, like you just want to feel the pain focused. There's a joke that I saw. There's a joke, uh, Dove Davidoff has a joke called the love drug and it's on YouTube. It's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I believe it's beeped, it's not clean, uh, so, saying that, but I mean, one of the best jokes I've ever heard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, I honestly think, I mean, it was one of the best ones I've ever heard. It's, everything about it was like, just so good. It's all many of you can do. But I think it's beat, you know, if you're an adult, you watch it first, if you want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would they, yeaah, are just getting another surgeon in there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the only one that could do it? He's the best in the world. That's the whole point of the show. Well, he's not doing that good if he can't even. He's a pill addict. He's got


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. He's the best in the world that's like, he's a little loose, he's half in, half out. But he's still, you still want him. And he just walks into a door. And you're like, oh. Yeaah, he does do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you talk about ghosts and people are like, they don't, you know, it's like, I don't believe in it. It's fun. It's like, there is so much stuff that you're like, God, that's weird. And you're like, maybe it's not true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you would die. Would you, uh, then just like, I'm gonna climb Mount Everest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like what if you do like, it's like, if that kind of thing, what if they were like, alright, well, you know what I'm going to do instead of, uh, I'm not going to go sleep in my room. I'm going to go climb a mountain with a large group of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's like, you know, you have to sleep outside. Like wouldn't that help? It's like maybe the bedroom. Well, the bedroom is like maybe the thing that's, if you have these night terrors, you're like, well, what if I go sleep outside? Oh yeah. And then you're on the ground and it's like maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but like it's, but if you go climb Mount Everest, you're just like, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, it could be an airplane crash or something. Yea, that would make sense. I feel like it's solved. I believe all that. You think it's all of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it makes the most sense, like if the shoes are not, yeah, eventually it would just be. Can you do DNA on the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting. So like, they're, they have proven it, that it's people that are, like, so it does make sense that you're like, yea, this is what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, he was a fisherman that like, I don't know, his boat, he got out on sea and then blow on and make it or something or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One says, uh, belonged to a woman who had jumped off a bridge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of our, our, uh, the world's lost and found.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think we should build something. They should let you go. Yeah. You should go out there and you get to look for your belongings. First come first serve. Yep. Finders keepers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go back to Southwest, get your ticket, go home. I do it once a month, take my trash out to the ocean. I do the Gulf of Mexico, we've kind of given up on that to begin with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mhm. But if you just use the entire- And that would really-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's one that's where people go, those are the people that would throw trash in the ocean. The Panama City.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all go to, yeaah. That was our big vacation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Bermuda Triangle, we don't, we don't hear about it. It was a big deal when I was like, hell yeah. Bermuda Triangle, I mean, it is funny for the kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That now, I don't think they would ever hear about it. And it was like, you better not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it isn't just like the weather or something, like the weather there is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Connect a connecting flight. Take a bus? Yea. There, yea, it is funny though. I mean, man, were you trying to go big deal when you were a kid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just like, we all agreed not to go. Right. It was that big. And not that we could have afforded to go to Bermuda or Miami, but it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sad you didn't live through the Bermuda Triangle. It was a pretty good, it was a golden age of just like, man, this is like a big problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have, uh. 9-11, I was the age where that was, we tried to go in the workforce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I was the, I was the age where, that's why the, uh, Oregon Trail generation, we were a unique generation of just, that was the exact age of like, we were supposed to be going, we're either getting out of college or going to get jobs. I would have been, you know, I thought about joining the military and I would have been in my fourth year when 9-11 happened. Uh, I was joining the army.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that kind of stuff. Yeah. So you compare me to trying out the 9-11. It's basically what you're doing. Uh, we're talking about fun, like kind of weird conspiracy kind of stuff and you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had a Blair Witch. Blair Witch. Yeaah. Yeaah. For sure. The ring. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was it. I don't think, I never saw one, but it was, you would hear about them. Kids would have the, yeah, faces of death. Or like bum fights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She never felt, yeaah. No stop, drop and roll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, without the roll, stopping and dropping doesn't do much for you. Doesn't do anything. No. I'd actually say don't do those if you're not going to do the roll. Yeah, yeah. If you're not going to follow through. If you're not going to follow, if you're not going to get to the roll, I'd stay up. Just keep on your feet. Yep. Stay up, run.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't think you're, you're probably not surprised. I think you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, that sounds like someone like, like his, like her dad. If you don't get healthy, marry, what's your name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He'd be like, I thought the house would also burn. I was surprised by that. That part did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's interesting. Where'd you get, you know, it's like, I mean, Cali's wife too, like everything's nice. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean this, how is this stuff not just talked about a lot more openly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like a, uh, it is funny like to say, like you talk to that document guy, then you come in and say that and you're like, oh, just a no fun policeman. Yeah. Yeah. As well as probably an ambulance and an animal's got him. You're like, oh, here we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet it's hard to get in there. It's like the feet. It's like the whole thing. It's like the feet and the shoe. It's just, you know, you go, that's enough. And he seems like he didn't like it cause everybody else had their tongue. So it probably was like, it's not that good. Maybe tongue's not good. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I mean we don't eat tongue a lot. Maybe they had had a- Hey, beef tongue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a thing, but I mean we're not, you ain't going to Chili's and asking for the beef tongue. It's not made it that far. I think it's a specialty. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is Nebraska. Yeah. Uh, yeah, that does sound like, yeah, that is crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've changed your answer? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, if there's a bigger church, I was thinking it was only these 15 people, so yeah. You know, stuff happens sometimes that you, uh, and you ever, like, smaller scope, you ever see a wreck, like that happened right before you, and you're like, I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ran back in to go grab something. Yeah. And then you're like, you know, it's kind of crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright everybody, we did it, uh, happy, when's this coming, this week?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. Enjoy it. Uh, glad to be back. Uh, thanks for all of you that have come to shows and stuff and everybody. Uh, we love it. We appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done the band. That's pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. And, uh, yeah, Irvine's an awesome club. It's my favorite club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, uh, yep. We love you all. Thank you. And, uh, we will see you next week. We will see you next week. Yeah. Like for real. Uh, yeah. Yeah. We're here next week. Okay. Alright. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. Did you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slash Nate for your first month free!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also managing money can be hard and juggling subscriptions even harder. Never pay for an unwanted subscription again with Truebill. Go to Truebill.com slash Nate. It could save you thousands a year. Truebill.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That special occasion is coming up, so get the gift that will last forever from Paint Your Life. Get a custom painting for your loved one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sorry. Uh, for a limited time, get 20% off your painting and free shipping. Text the word Nate to 640006400. Paint your life. Celebrate the moments that matter the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go, folks! Welcome, that's the new Open with Hello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go with this. You know, it's pretty fun. I just thought of it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, welcome to the NateLand Podcast as always, uh, uh, Aaron Weber and look who's back. Brian Baby Bates. Welcome back to the show. Thank you. Baby's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's uh, she's doing real good guys. She's in the car, but it's a, you know, it's a little chilly day. So I don't think we can, I think we can leave the windows up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome back. We will get into all of this. You know, we had the, uh, obviously the Grammys, we had you, you're back and there's a lot of stuff that's kind of catch up episode. Vandy sent me the new hat with the V. I just changed it. I forgot that they, you know, people love you don't like the V, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna, you're gonna, it looks like the Vegas, the hockey team. But I don't know for sure. But, uh, you know, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, we'll start off with you guys. Uh, that's why we're here. So we're just do some, we got a lot of comments from a lot of episodes. Uh, so, uh, we will get going and then we will get into everything else. Uh, advertising comments. This is back to advertising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Time inner ninja should be in the ninja part. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was an advertisement for Pepsi in the 90s where if you saved up enough points, you could trade them in for a special item. In the commercial they showed a fighter jet for an astronomical number of points that the company figured no one could collect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, of course someone did, and they sued Pepsi for not gifting the fighter jet for those points. Wow. That's crazy. That really happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, did he win? You needed 7 million pepsi points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, how would you get it? What is, uh, pepsi, it, it, the pepsi points like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, what, oh look, right down there at the bottom, uh, one billion of, cause this is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you could also purchase Pepsi points for 10 cents each. Uh, so I mean like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you could like, so that person, say that person probably just, maybe it's like a rich person and he's like, well, I'll just buy 10 cents on the dollar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He went after maybe, yeah, the 20, or I guess he maybe didn't bow those points, but he looked at it as, he just went for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go. I know. I think you have sung, the first comment has a story to it that we could talk about and you're like, well, let's just read it while we're taping it. And so people at home, yeah. Yeah, that's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, Inner Ninja. Look forward to you being on the show soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jamison working. Apple has a policy that does not allow bad guys in movies or TV to use an iPhone. Hmm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, everybody has a Mac, so I guess you know a good guy is one that has an Apple on the back of his computer. That's pretty smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you have to call someone you're a bad guy, you get an android.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Let's look at, let me read that about. It looks unreal. 33 millioners manufacture it. 7 million Pepsi points. The jet was a steal. So we decided to go, I mean, we could do an episode on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's 552,000 total ounces of Pepsi, 2.5 billion calories, uh, 4 million in expenditure. What is that? Is that the word? How do you say it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He mailed, uh, he mailed 15 Pepsi points along with a check for $700,000 and $8. I mean, this story is unreal, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We will, we need to look into that. We'll dive into this. We'll follow up. That's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, uh, we could have given a bang, dude. Just to come out with a, one of the coolest stories ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just go, did you guys hear about that, uh, monkey died at that zoo? Oh yeah, what happened? No, I just saw a headline about it. Uh, alright, next, next, uh, comment. Uh, let's not read into it more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well that's, you know, it's late to work til 1am. Uh, I slept 4 hours the night before, but, you know, not a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Within one second, googled it and read one article and it's all this crazy. Uh, alright, no, it's been crazy for you. Uhm, talk show comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ross Montgomery. I want to see Nate go on Hot Ones. That would be an incredible interview.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've seen some of them, watched all of them, but I've seen some of them. I've met that guy. Uh, randomly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, at a, well, I was eating at a restaurant and then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he like came up and i like we talked to him like, and he was like within a group that we knew and, uh, yeah, it was like cool. I was like, oh yeah, dude. Cause that dude's huge. Yeah, massive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you wouldn't think like, and I knew them, you're like, oh, your thing's huge, man. Like it's so big, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Septagenarian. Septagenarian. Septuagenarian? Septagenarian. I think, uh, I announced him, they won a Grammy this weekend. Uh, keep it going for Septanajurian everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the look on Nate's face is breakfast and air and casually discuss the age range for septuagenarian followed by his what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And whoever says that at least 15 times in 60 seconds was just more proof that he is the greatest average American. Thanks for all the great laughs each week. I appreciate you guys. Keep it up. Uh, yeah. What did it mean? Somebody in their seventies. Yeah. See ya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, I mean they can't even say that. You're making them feel bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Times everything. Once you get in your seventies, you think, I'm not saying it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're 70s, I'm not wasting mine. I'm not wasting, you know, a good...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two hours of my day, just trying to, instead of saying 74.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, it looks like it says Twente. Twente, yea. But it's Joe Tinti. He put the pronunciation, yea. Look at Joe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a baby, you know, you got a little more sensitive. You go, alright, Joe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to let you know that one of your life hacks came in handy. I drink a specific victory beer each time my alma mater's college basketball team wins. The other night they won and I was out of that kind of beer so I had to go to the store to buy it after the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The life hack of putting a wet paper towel around the drink and putting it in the freezer for 15 minutes. I tried it and it worked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Although it did it for, although I did it for 30 minutes, if nothing else, your hacks made my evening a little more enjoyable. Have a good one. Well, that's cool. I hear helping the world change your lives. So we do. Yeah. Helping people drink. Yeah. He only has one after his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Yeaah. That's a fun one if you- That is a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what do you write? Just like, hello over it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You gotta write multiple words over it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like I said, if you're a spy. Yeah. If you're that worried about people reading it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, he doesn't, he doesn't trust his eighth grade math teacher, so I do like that. And I do love that you could just, I hope Jeremy goes into eighth grade math, drops his kid off and just looks at him and that teacher looks at him and they, they both know that the other knows. And then they just have this weird relationship. I like that. I do like that. World record comments. Nate, heckle, heckly, heichel. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just said it three different times. What would you say? I'd say hell key. Hell key. Hell key. Yeah. You got heckle on the mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm proud to say that my chiropractor has made himself somewhat of a local celebrity by setting several Guinness records. He is a 7, including the tallest stack of donuts in a minute, fastest to drink a liter of gravy, 38.22 seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fastest blindfolded mile run. Fastest time to tie a shoe. Most shirts worn simultaneously while running a marathon. 50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most consecutive viewings of the same movie in a movie theater. Captain, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Captain Marvel, 106 times in a row, and fastest marathon in roller skates. It shows you that you don't necessarily need to have a skill that no one else on earth has, you just have to be creative. Oh wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's not his main, I wouldn't say he's crushing it, but he's not bad. He's got a lot of stuff he's working out to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when he goes and watches that movie, 116 times in a row, and you're like, doc, my back is killing me. He goes, I don't know what to tell you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I'm on, when I get done with this Captain Marvel movie, I will come, is it Captain America?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it's called? Oh. Uh, when I get done with Captain Marvel, I'll come. He's like, well, what are you at? I'm at four.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're going to watch 112 more times. So practice goes under and he goes, when you have so many, why did you need that one too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fastest blindfolded mile run. Tallest stack of donuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, mine won a silver, uh, when I, I only did it like for a little bit. He won a silver medal in the, uh, silver, silver, I can't even say that. Silver. Civil War. Civil War.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He might. I mean, he won a silver medal in the, uh, bobsled. Is that all of them are in there, right? I think so. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I'm saying throughout his career. Okay. Like there's other little weird kind of things that he could want. He was a sprinter and so they get a lot of sprinters to go, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get them to get into bobsledding because the ones that are not fast enough to actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they're fast enough, obviously, but then there's another level and so they're like, well just come here and you can do this bobsledding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's tough. Oh, the beginning of the end. I think the end Usain might have a chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I mean, it like, what's he gonna run just five seconds slower? That's right. So it's like, you're like, but he can maybe eat a hot dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, someone like, how much you think about it, and you're like, alright dude, well, you know, there's a wheel inside a wall, but, okay, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the point of it though. But like cabinets are like doors, right? Yeah, we'll call them doors, if you want. See, you're doing the same thing. We've got some comments in here about that. Okay. Alright, we're waiting. Can't wait. Can't wait. Purgellum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks. Greetings from Copenhagen. When y'all talked about the world's tallest man blending in, I really related. I am 6'9 and remember vacationing in Maryland. Everyone from the passport lady at the airport to the guy on the street would come in on my height with a do you play ball at Baltimore aquarium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a machine that would measure you and compare you to an aquatic animal. When I tried it, it went, you are six foot nine and a half. You're the size of a baby killer whale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And after a pause it said, you should play for the Celtics. In fact, I am an operatic, like, what is that? Operatic? Operatic tenor. Operatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never seen that word, I'm guessing it means of an opera. An opera, yea, an operatat, operatic, tenor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if anybody knows, I would imagine you have to be, there's gotta be what, like eight of you? And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't know. There's gotta be, I mean, there's probably a gazillion tenants, cause the bands are. You gotta be. You know, most tenors versus how many wills. Who knows? You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, are you the tallest that ever is in an opera? Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] None that, none that I can think of. Like that's legit. Yeah. Like you might be way more than just. You're thinking too small, Jellem. Yeah. Jellem, I think you can go per, uh, I think you can go, yeah, I think you can go for a lot more. Like, uh, who vacations in Maryland?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you're, I mean, well, I'm sure we go to Copenhagen's Maryland when we go up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And see, I bet Maryland is pretty awesome too. Like there are parts of it that are okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, they went to the aquarium, Baltimore Aquarium. They had non-stop flights. You could get the southwest exit row where he...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk about a guy that needs it. I'd like to just see his flight situation. What does he do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. I mean it's, yeaah, that's tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he could be a, yeah, as far as our book goes, you're the tallest singer that's ever lived.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, Peter still is 6'8". Who's Peter Steele? Uh, Steeley Daman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't do heights. I didn't take a height class. Uh, six, eight, and he's, he doesn't sing. Oh, is he? He is a singer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But still. Tallis Opera, do Tallis Opera. Singer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, they come in, uh, they come in all shapes and sizes. Well, yeah, okay. Yeah, they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Many are surprisingly short compared to the impression we have of them from video performances.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what is that, uh, Australian one? Yeah. Yeah, just, yeah, just click one and see. Okay. You know, if you could, if y'all could jump in and help out, it'd be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not just giving, like it's, this is not called homework for the entertainer. Like if everybody's at home, it's not like guys look up who's the tallest opera person and you do the work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tell us next week. They go listen to these ads. They do us a favor by all that stuff and they're supporting us, but you guys let us know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's difficult when we do it. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should go to the Baltimore, you and him should go to the Baltimore aquarium. I think you'd have a good time. I'm sure it'd be real different from the other aquariums I've been to. You think you're the size of a baby killer, Will, as well?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They think you're, they think, we actually think you are a baby killer whale. How are you even doing this game right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Founding Fathers and Supreme Court comments, Steve Savage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm, Stachowicz? Stachowicz. Israel, Israel Bissell, Bissell. I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joe Biden, uh, Israel B-I-S-S-E-L, who actually rode over 300 miles to Philadelphia to warn of the war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paul Revere. That's crazy, actually rode over 300 miles to Philadelphia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And no one, I care, Israel. Uh, they should have called him Izzy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all about, you know, it is funny. Yeah. I mean, he looked at Paul Veer as a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dustin James. Hey guys, big fan of the show. I really enjoyed the last episode about the founding fathers. I went to the National Archives a couple of years ago and was stunned to find out there's a hand print of, on the declaration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you're like, well, that's not fair. You're like, well that's, you know, really the main, the only thing we have a pretty strict policy about is don't touch it without a glove.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could also say, why was it out like that? Like why was it so out that they were like, some guy just walked in, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Uh, Jacob Tlodzinski. Maybe someone's like, they're like, wait, maybe no one noticed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jacob Kludzinski. Kludzinski. Jacob Kludzinski. Kind of like that name. I work in the appell, uh, what is that? Appellate. Appellate. I work in the appellate practice of a law firm in Washington DC. Somebody said that to me. Would you know what that means?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would be like, oh man, what's DC like? That's what I would say out of all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, DC is one of my favorite cities I go to. That's exactly what I would say to him. Never talk about his law firm ever again outside of that. I would dare to be no. It would just be moved on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of my job is to coordinate and file briefs at the Supreme court. Our office is just a short distance from the court. So I often listen to the podcast to and from filings. You can officially say the Supreme court episode of the Nate land podcast has been played at the actual Supreme court. I like that. That is amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm here to tell you something that you are going to want to, oh, okay. And then I was like, yeah, I'm glad you told me that. Uh, that's cool, man. We're basically just Supreme court judges. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not far. That's all it takes. Heartbeat away. We're closer than most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, all right, that seems kind of rude. He goes, it's not crazy, but we just want you up at the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think, yeah, he's got a, Progenome's got a amazing shot at this. Did he ever be involved in opera?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am happy to report, however, that there was nowhere near enough information presented about Samurai Ninjas for someone to say something insensitive, even if they wanted to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I learned more about ninjas in the Magic Treehouse book I read in elementary school, and yet I love the episode. I'm thrilled to have a podcast I can come to when my brain needs to cool off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are you doing? Welcome to the wind down part of your day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As they go, just zone out. We're basically like one of those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tanks people lay in floating that water. What is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're like that. We're that of podcasts. Just uh, you know, float off in the dead sea. We're just basically, we're the dead sea of podcasts. Isn't that the one where people float? That's where we are. We're the dead sea of podcasts. Just like, kind of just felt calm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Matt Greenwalt, how often do you not finishing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How often are you not finishing a bowl of cereal that you would even need a garbage disposal, let alone a toilet? I've never finished, I've never not finished one, two or three bowls of cereal in one sitting. Flushing cereal is mind boggling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's hard to get it down when you know the outcome is you gotta flush it in the toilet. So I would have trouble with that. I think that would make me sick to my stomach and then I couldn't always get it all down. Or, you know, if you're a kid, yes, right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, right now, what was his name? Uh, uh. Matt? Matt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one night before the shows, we had a, I just went to like a recording booth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Place and just kind of ran through it and did all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's kinda, it was fun. It's neat. Like that stuff's neat. It's like just a lot of people have hit me up and like, it's like, I haven't heard it yet actually on the radio. Yeah, me either. Uh, but it's cool. That's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sydney Horn. My wife Kaylee texted me a trailer for a new game called Aperture Desktop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And asked, does this sound like Nate to our amusement? It turned out you weren't just a voice from the trailer, but the main character throughout the game. We just finished playing it and it was great. You were hilarious. As Grady, the, Gary, no it's Grady. As Grady the robot. Uh, thank you. Uh, yeaah. That's another one I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was very cool. I was, like, this kind of stuff was, like, very exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's uh, Steam Deck, it's basically uh, this video game that they're making like their Nintendo Switch, they're making their, Steam Deck is making their version of kind of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, it was cool. Does it play? I don't even play. I can find the video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. And this is a ketchup episode, but let's look into it as we, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so cool, man. Uh, yeah, it's awesome. It's neat. I mean, that's the stuff that I always want to do. It's like that, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy. You know, I don't know what they do. They make a new one or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very fun. Uh, Spencer Day. I would love to hear Nate describe the plot and main characters of well known films he's never seen. His description of Harry Potter and dances with wolves had me dying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know they're in a prison, right? I've seen a picture of guys that are in a prison. It's a good start. Yeah. It's guys in a prison. What happens? They're, uh, someone needs redemption.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's part of it. Yeah. And then the other guy that's in it that's pretty famous is like, well, let's get them out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're like, so I gotta be in the right like kind of whole thing mood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet I could like, you know that one, no country for old men, I didn't see until very late, and that's one that you told me about that I'll watch. I watched some of it again last night. I did too, when I was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think I want to, then I'm like, I don't know. Yeah, it's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. If something feels a whole thing to me, but there will be blood. It's like Daniel Day-Lewis is like, I just can watch him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's unreal in that. He's just so like, intriguing to watch. And you're just like, I, you know, I like hearing him. I like, it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't watch Lincoln and he's in, I should probably watch Lincoln because he's in that. And like, I, like, he's just so good that you're like, I could watch this guy forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he probably wouldn't be a fun hang, but. I think he would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, I like 30 Seconds of Mars, enjoyed that song, one song. And, uh, I listen to that a lot. But like, and I get like, he's great too, but then he's also like kind of mixed in in the holly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For that whole thing, and now you go just act like we can just go sit and watch a UFC event together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want to go when the movie's over, McGregor's fighting, would you like to go? I guess I would like to go to the, you know, and you're like, all right, dude, I can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he's gotta go eat, but I don't think he was like, I think people respect it. Like it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you know, it's like being around Michael Jordan where you'd be like, yeah, that dude's intense. You're like, well, at least I'm getting the greatest thing ever out of it. And so like, I understand it. Like, cause you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see getting, you have to get into it, like I understand the commitment to it, I get it. It's like, just like I said, just do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, just be like, I kinda need my own, like, if I wanna make this...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This comes back to me, I think people should just say stuff. I just think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like more like, you know, you're like, I don't want to, that guy, that guy, I'm that guy. I just got very lucky with this, that this worked out, but I mean, I would have done his job. Like, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you want to be like, no dude, you know, they help you when they want to help you, but then you're also like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just act. Just act. That's very funny. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get, if you're playing some weird thing, I understand the idea of commitment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think about when working out, like if you go work out and you don't want to work out, if you go into it going, I don't want to do this, it's very hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you go into it, when you see those guys work out and it's like, like, it's like, they got like their, their energy when they walk in there is like a gorilla and they're just like, I'm here to get like, and I think you work out better that way. So I under, I understand the reasoning behind it. It's, uh, it's like, well, what's the solution to be like, I don't want to tell you, you can't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also what's the solution to be like how do you not be a problem for like everybody else? You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These movie stars can get whatever they want. And I'm sure they do, but you're like, yeah, just like, we've created, I want a world created over here. And then Jared let, you know, he's like one of those bulls that they have in that cage. And the guy's in the middle and he's like, I don't know what to do. And you're like, then you're doing it. So like do that and then put them back in that, then be like, let me go back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just some humbleness about it and then be, but maybe he does. I don't know if he doesn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's good. You played a serial killer. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did. Yeah, it's great. Did you really? You got a look at the show? Yeah. How's it look? It looks good. Awesome, dude. Yeah. Greg, I hung out with Greg, uh, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then so it's neat to see it and then be like, I mean he's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would never, he'd be mortified me even saying this, but he's another level of like, this dude's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, dude, go fly Southwest or like, just be normal and make it easy. Say, I'll just drive 15 hours. You go. Okay. I told you, you let me use this trailer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was, you know, I was just like, he's the best dude. He's the, he's the best. He's the best dude and it is so good. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, all right, Elizabeth, if you're thinking of doors versus wills, here we go. Then you have to consider all doors like kitchen cabinets, fridge doors, appliance doors, dollhouse doors, et cetera. Fine. You're still fine with it. Yeah, that's all part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause that's when I said the other doors, I go, what about these cabinets? Are these doors? And you go, all right, that's fine. Just make those doors. Yeah, you said it like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you guys actually like put this effort towards like jobs and creating stuff? Like you think that would be, what if you did that? You know what I mean? There's no answer to it. So what's the point of even talking about it? How much do y'all not have to do that you like to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like you like to debate this and then you're like, yeah. You debate something that can't be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solve, what was the other one that you did, that you said earlier?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that one's like, that's a fun one. That's a fun one, but it doesn't lead into just mindlessly. I just look into the first one that you're like, well, a nut is a technically will you can will it. And then you're like, all right, dude, I can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just throwing stuff out of my, out of everything. You're like, my aunt, my aunt's got a fake knee. There's a wheel on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she's in the house and you're like, yeah, she lives downstairs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like that there's an end to this. Like there's not like a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would want the clarification of what a wheel and a door is. So if you start picking apart wheels, then I, then it's kind of like, all right, now I've got to choose cabinets. And I'm thinking of like a door and like a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tire wheels, what I was thinking. And maybe shopping cart wheels I guess you could do, but it's like wheels that are, that move something and they're rolling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, yeaah. And then it's like you're just, now you're down a spiral. Then I'm already out. Uh, Robbie Amrin. A-M-R-E-I-N. ISIS isn't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Palindromic, Aaron, but luckily I still love you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. So ISIS, you said ISIS was?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you call y'all backwards, you'd be in a group of them. And then they're like, I says, you know, you're palindromic. And he goes, oh, what's that? It spells name backwards. And he goes, what does it mean? You go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sissy. Then you're just dead immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, from uh, from forgotten free trials to automatic renewals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Planet Finisting is this. I know, that's what I needed. It's for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They make them hard to cancel. Truebill makes it incredibly simple. Just link your accounts and Truebill will cancel your unwanted subscriptions in one tap. That's so awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, you know, there's, uh, there's stuff you can do about like getting off mailing lists and stuff like this is, this one actually truly that's annoying. This one is, is it's going to save you a ton of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has over 2 million users and helped save them over 100 million dollars. Uh, did you, did you go into subscription overload during COVID?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll take back control of your subscriptions with Truebill. Do not fall for subscription scams. Start canceling today at Truebill.com slash Nate. Go right now, Truebill, Truebill.com slash Nate. It could save you thousands year. Truebill, T-R-U-E-B-I-L-L.com slash Nate. Also.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, guys, give keeps a try. I think this seems so easy. It is always worth taking the time to try. Like you could, you could take it. I could? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you could, cause it's, I don't think you're too far, like you have a lot of hair still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you, you do, uh, so keeps offers a simple stress free way to keep your hair. There are only two FDA approved medications that can prevent hair loss and keeps offers both. They have a virtual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doctor, uh, consultations and medic, medic, medications delivered straight to your door every three months. So you don't have to leave your home. The treatment starts at only $10 per month is discrete packaging. Prevention is key. Treatments can take four to six months to see results. So act fast. And I mean, like, it's almost like you could do it now. Like you would just stop. But are you ever going to go bald? You think completely bald or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So you could stop it now. Where you're at. Oh, like stopping his tracks. Just stick with this. Just stick with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you want to write it out. Uh, if you notice thin hair, then start now. Go online and look at their before and after photos to see for yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you are ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash nate to receive your first month of treatment for free. That is keeps.com slash nate to get your first month free. keeps.com keeps.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's amazing. Yeah. Okay. It doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I had the picture with the other one, but it was another, it was just another horse and she was looking at it. So then we did that with flame and uh, it's her favorite horse and uh, it's a very cute picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] PaintYourLife.com, there's no risk. If you do not love the final painting, your money is refunded, guaranteed. And right now, as a limited time offer, get 20% off your painting. That is right, 20% off and free shipping to get this special offer. Text the word Nate to 64000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 64000. That is Nate to 64000. Text Nate to 64000. Paint your life. Celebrate the moments that matter most. Message and data rates may apply. Terms apply. Available at paintyourlife.com slash terms. Again, text Nate to 64000. 64000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's my, here's my, uh, I don't know if you can see it close. It's uh, the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They give you a nominee medal. And so I got this sent to me a couple weeks ago, but so I will have always have this. That's awesome man. Grammy nominee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, I'll be honest, wearing this helmet when I, uh, when I did this, uh, well let's go ahead and bring, uh, my wife in, uh, uh, Laura Barghetti. Alright. First time in a long time, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I want to say the opposite. Uh, first time caller, long time listener. And, no, no. I always looked at it the other way. I always want to call into place and go, uh, first time listener, long time caller. The opposite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, uh, yeah, this is the helmet I wore, uh, balded at Blizzard's in Charleston, West Virginia. So we went. I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would have never mentioned it. They would have been like, oh, that one guy wore a helmet. They're like, I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was in, I got sent like the script of like what they were going to say. I did the pre-ceremony. My award, mainly all the awards are done on the pre-ceremony. Uh, there's only like 10 that they do on the other one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and I was worried like, at first I thought I could walk out with like security or something or like do something kind of like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, it needs to be simple. It needs to be silly. This, this is not the most...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Original, I get thing in the world or whatever. It's like, uh, I know all of that, but I know I'm also the first comedian to present.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since that happened that last Sunday. And so, I know everybody's like, well I'm tired. This is social media. I don't think it's everybody else. Social media is it's own people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, as I've said the week before, I'm on the Chris Rock side, as I think most people are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I don't want to just go out and like trash wheel Smithers or anything. And then so, uh, I was like, oh yeah, I'll just walk out wearing this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, when I went up, it was like basically at the end, like the last, like, probably like 12 awards or something. So now the room is much, much, I mean, it's, it's like a quarter full, if that. And so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I have the whole, if there's 2,500 people there, I think it would have been a big laugh, but I got a pretty big laugh. But I mean, there's, I mean, I don't even know, 200 people in there maybe, uh, like towards the end. Cause now the Grammys, the doors are open. It's all kind of, everybody's kind of go switching going over there. And the only people there are really the people that are still being nominated.


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[Assistant] Uh, Grammy, it's very cool. They've seen us behind the scenes and see how they run it. So I came up with this idea. I sent it to, uh, you know, you have a publicist, my publicist is Rob Greenwald.


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[Assistant] It's like, uh, why would I wear this helmet is because it's stupid. And so why would I wear it? Like I said, it just highlights where you would hit me. It would do nothing. It protects my hair.


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[Assistant] And so it's, uh, that was the fun part of it. And I truly believe everybody's taking it like that. They took it as fun.


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[Assistant] I thought what Trevor Noah said was like, we will keep everybody's ma- was perfect.


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[Assistant] Putting a button on it being like, let's move on. And they just, everybody knows, everybody laughed with Trevor Noah. Trevor Noah is...


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[Assistant] I've hung out with him a couple times. Dude, one of the nicer dudes you could ever meet. I mean, a great person.


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[Assistant] Very, very friendly. And I know if people could not like...


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[Assistant] You know, the political stuff, whether you like it, you're on his side or not on his side. But overall, I can just tell you, he's a great, great guy. And I think he really showed it.


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[Assistant] Uh, hosting it. We were watching and it was like just pleasant. It was like nice and fun and, uh, he just kept it moving and stuff like that. So, uh, yeah, I think it was, it ended up working out. It worked out.


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[Assistant] But it, when you go do all these shows, it's like you, you know, you try to wear something that's like kind of...


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[Assistant] Not insane. Right. Who are you wearing? And, uh, I don't know. Who are you wearing, Laura?


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[Assistant] We don't know. We don't know. Uh, we're not, yeah, it's just two kids from Apple. So we don't know what we're wearing. Joseph A Bank. Yeah. Uh, uh, yeah, just to, yeah, it'd been great just to be, you know, uh, what are you wearing? Dealers. Uh,


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[Assistant] So, yea, Laura looked unbelievable. I'm a big fan of her hair like this. She was nervous about it, but I loved your hair like that. And then, uh, yea, Laura looked awesome. She had to walk around those. Yes. What was her name? She was great.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And then she was awesome and so they came, I mean it was the whole...


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[Assistant] And then we're going to Poughkeepsie this week and Buffalo and Syracuse and, but it's, it's, uh, you know, so it's like, here's a little bit of like,


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[Assistant] I uncomfortableness, it's cool to see all this stuff and then a little bit of like, I don't know. You're like, I like my buddies and you're like, you know, if I had a book, you know, I mean, it's me and her there, but if like we had like a group with us, that's our buddies. And then you're like, oh yeah, that would be awesome. Uh, and rich day was there, but he was sitting somewhere else and they're, uh,


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[Assistant] So we, so we had to get up at uh, eight.


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[Assistant] Uh, as funny as you see people, we'd see some, I mean, it ended up being everywhere, which is kind of cool, like, uh,


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[Assistant] The, uh, it was, I mean, it was like, they, you know, it was on dent, like, I mean, it's like that picture, people on dent, people in Australia, like.


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[Assistant] I don't want to say who it is, but I'm not a fan anymore.


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[Assistant] But yeaah. Was it Shay? Yeah, it was Shay. Was he there? No, no, no.


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[Assistant] So then when I went up there, I wore the helmet, got a laugh, whatever.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're, they're very serious and uh, and rightfully so. And so I took it off, I said it and then, so then I know that, I mean, it was, you know, I got, I got some names. Like it was like,


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[Assistant] And then he showed us someone and they said their name and they came up. Yeah, it's, uh.


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[Assistant] I would just go, I knew if I could slow down, so I go slow.


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[Assistant] And they didn't put the, I don't think the title was in there. Maybe it was, but so what I would do is you're hoping.


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[Assistant] When I was up there, I was realizing that once the first name was said, a lot of times the person would stand up and start cheering. So then you can kind of just trail off. And so.


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[Assistant] Uh, and so you'd, you would do a, a mix of, uh, both of that. But luckily there was a few people that were there. One night, one group that won, like, and she's like, oh, I love the helmet thing. She was very nice. If, I don't know, if anybody saw it, there's a lady in a blue dress that walked up and said something. And my mom, I, you might have wondered too. My mom wondered, she's like, what'd she say? And I was like, oh, she said she liked the helmet thing.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, when the models came up, it's always, it's crazy, you know, I'm trying to talk to them.


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[Assistant] So I would, but when I got the envelope, uh, I would open it. And so I could like, I could open it and I would just look at the name real fast of who won. So I would, it's kind of.


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[Assistant] Just, like, cause you hear the person saying it. The video is saying the names. So it's like, if I could get it.


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[Assistant] Because I can't, you know, I might miss the first two names. Sometimes I would read it and I was like, oh, that's going to be a tough one. And I stood there waiting for it and it never came. And I realized I didn't hear the first two. And I was like, oh, so this is one of the first two and I didn't hear it. And I'm like, oh, I was like, I'm not focusing. And so then I just go to the, this is all in my mind. I'm like,


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[Assistant] Uh, which, uh, which, I mean, my supposed to read these comments, are they answering? No, you're answering them all.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. It was kinda weird, like I saw...


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[Assistant] But it was like, so I would look at the name before because I'm trying to make sure I can say him and he's nominated for award and I can see him there.


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[Assistant] And then he's like looking and watching and then I look at it and like, and it's not, he didn't win. And, uh,


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[Assistant] Alright, he won Album of the Year, I think. Yeah, he had the best speech of the night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He won, yeah, he crushed it. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, he had a very big night, but it was just kind of crazy. Like, cause I don't know who the other ones really are to look at them.


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[Assistant] And you know, and we know when it is. I had an amazing, we had an amazing time.


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[Assistant] And, uh, you know, it does hurt not winning. I mean, you're, you try not to let it.


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[Assistant] Let yourself get to thinking that you can win. You really, really do. But in your head, you're like, I can't believe I'm even here.


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[Assistant] And then he's like, all right, maybe they're only invited that presenters that are there, you know, but then he would be like, no, then five wouldn't. And so it's.


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[Assistant] That you like, just let me win so I can just, I don't know if I could ever get back, but, uh. You will.


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[Assistant] I got this, you know, the Grammys do an awesome thing where they, they say in the thing like, uh,


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[Assistant] You are always, you know, it's something you get forever is you will always be introduced as Grammy nominee.


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[Assistant] And that is, that is, that is extremely special, and that's like, you take that with a Grammy, and there's way more, obviously, Grammy nominees.


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[Assistant] You know, it's kind of bumming and you're just kind of like afterwards, you're just like, I don't know, you know, the whole day you're thinking about it. You're like, what if I win?


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[Assistant] I was proud to be where I was at. I got there as a stand-up comedian. That's the one thing that I, I kind of thought it like, as you kind of think about it, you're like, yeah, dude, Hey,


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[Assistant] How obnoxious do I think I can be that I'm like annoyed I didn't win?


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[Assistant] I'm lucky to even, we worked at Applebee's waiting tables. Like who, this is all past insanity. So I need to get off the high horse to think I even, I'm not deserved this, I'm not owed this. Like you try to remind yourself of that to be like, why don't you chill out for a second dude? Like the fact that you made it here is insane. And then, uh, it was, uh, what was I going to say? What was I saying?


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[Assistant] Oh, and being nominated as a stand-up comic. There is something to that that I thought of and I was like, you know what?


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[Assistant] Uh, I've never acted, I've never, I don't do any of this other stuff. I only got to the, and not saying that it takes away from anybody else.


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[Assistant] And, uh, and so, it was like, you know, as we went on, I was like...


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[Assistant] And so it's not like it's, I mean you're doing it for the camera, you're absolutely doing it for the people that need to hear it.


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[Assistant] And I mean, I want to thank my, you know, uh, Laura, my family and all that stuff and, uh, her family that's been always super supportive and, uh, you know, Netflix agent manager, my publicist was there. Like, I mean, you try to go run through that and then, uh,


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[Assistant] I wanna thank people, then there's part of me that I'm like, I don't know if I, next time I would probably just try to come up with a joke.


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[Assistant] And I would just try to do a joke. And I'll thank everybody properly.


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[Assistant] Uh, and if I ever get lucky enough, if I ever get lucky enough to even get nominated, or even a go again, uh, I would probably try to just be like, how can I get people to laugh?


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[Assistant] Like what joke can I do that's very funny? And then just go up there and be really funny. And then that kind of thing. Did you meet any famous artist?


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[Assistant] And so we took one or two pictures with her in it. We don't know where that pic, we're trying to find it. The pictures were taken.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we got that. Someone took the picture.