[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, like don't, they go, what? Well, can you explain your system to the rest of like the other people? He goes, nah, it's hard to explain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you gave me, you know, Aristotle's government name, I don't know if I'd get it. Like, you don't know John Bailey? I got Aristotle. Oh, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I guess Aristotle. I didn't know. I don't know about a stage name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said it like, did you go to college with Thomas Aquinas? He's like, yes, but he's your buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not going to talk your way out of this. Cause it was even if a grasshopper, I mean, it was the size of this cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would still, if I walked up to it, you'd be like, you wouldn't be like, I'll take that guy. It's like, I'm not an ant here. You would go, there's giants. If you were the size of this cup and I walked up, you'd go, there's giants over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An ant farm. Yea, an ant farm. Like an ant farm just down there living it's best life. Yea, yea. And then we come knock it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we're just messing around with our planet. Like ants could mess up, uh, your garden. They can bite you. They can, you know, I guess, I guess we could bite the aliens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like ants. Yeah, I would save them. If I saw that, I would, you just, you just put your, just do draw the line and then they spread out and then you, they get back together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta just back out. You gotta back out and think about it and be like alright, alright, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you gotta think about how old you are now, what are you, 30? Yeah. So 56, you would be there. I mean, if you dedicated, every day was your life to do this and then you could be, you know. But if I'm out of office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you're not the, you're like the scientist going, like you're not going to be, yeah, you're not going to be voted. Okay. But it's like, so if you're like doing the work for, and then it would be like, you know, that you probably do other stuff too, but you like, what's your big goal? And you're like, we're going after this one thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 26 years, so, so long. It's long, but it, I mean, you know, I was-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20, how crazy is that? He's almost, he's almost able to see the satellite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he was your age, he was almost there. Yeaah. Yeaah. And you are in the exact same spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Little bit. Yeaah. Never in my life have I even heard is it peer reviewed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then now it's like, they, I mean, it, it is being thrown out. It's everyday someone says it. And I'm always like, did everybody know about this before? Did you know about peer review? I knew about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I mean, you just hear it. I heard it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, that is, who's, cause now it's peer reviewed. You're like, well, who are they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other one's like, we know, is basically you should go, I know nothing, is what the other one should say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good. Only four of them we gotta watch out for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that, I mean, I do agree with what the guy says. How many 18,000? I mean, he had exact number, right? 15,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, yeah, it is the, how do you get to that number? Why does everybody act like there's no aliens and this guy's being like, there's 15,000 neighborhoods just up in the Milky way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The observable universe. So we know like if you keep walking, you're going to eventually hit a fence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, we're galaxies, so we're the Milky Way, we're named after that candy bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I, I wish it'd be, it should get its own thing. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when did the Milky Way get, it got named after the, when did we call it the Milky Way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They shouldn't let them do it just cause you're like, man, you're kind of just ruining what we're doing with space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It really like takes the kind of steam out of it when you, you know, it's like, it's also a candy bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how little serious we take it, is we're naming it as, and it's not even one of our real great ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you can't eat Snickers is a great, like that's a, that's a name that's made up. I'm just shocked at the reaction that Aaron has had. Hey, would you like a Jupiter? It tastes like banana. Like you're, I've never seen


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll see what the calories are. I bet I can eat one. Yeaah. I won't eat today, but I bet it'll probably be 130, 200 calories. Uh, more?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I mean, I can eat, yeah, Sour Patch Kids, I've ate two little bags of it because I still figure ways. I'll never give up on all the things that made me who I am. And I'm addicted to, uh, those are 110 calories. You eat two bags. Oh, okay. And then a little bags and it's great. And now I was eating like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just handfuls. I mean, handfuls. Yeah. And I'll eat only, I couldn't even talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how many would be in there. It's like Jerry trying to, uh, he's got all that gum. Yeah. Yeah. It was great. What about Mars bars?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well look, the inside is gray, so I don't know if I want it all in there, cause it's, I've never seen anything, is it gray? The inside of a Milky Way? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it is. I think Milky Way people throw them out of the way. No one's thrilled. I don't think, when you see kids doing it, that's a Milky Way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't love uh, I'm not a big Butterfinger fan. I'll try, I'll try the Milky Way. I need to try it. We'll do it on the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. We do, do we, have we done candy bars? Oh, we do a candy bar. Yeah. Uh, let me try a bite. Uh, like George Costanza. Who, they were all, what were they? Twicks? Twicks. Uh, they were all twicks. I used to, every morning when I was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would eat for breakfast, uh, when I was working at FedEx when I moved to New York and started comedy. I would get a Diet Coke and a Three Mustard Tears and that was my breakfast every morning. Sounds awesome. It was a good time to be alive. Loved it. I drink Diet Cokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I need to rewatch it. What's that other one where the, I just watched it, where the, the ship just is like over, like in town in Africa or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, that edge of tomorrow is, uh, uh, tomorrow war maybe? War of the worlds? War of the worlds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you know how I always like trash, like, they're making the same movies over and again, blah blah, and that stuff, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will tell you that I for some reason am okay with Tom. Tom Cruise is my free pass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever he wants and, uh, look, you guys know I, I will backtrack on everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Top Gun is so good. You saw the new one? Yeah. It's so, it's, I want to go see it again. It's, it's, it's just awesome, dude. It's awesome. Uh, and Tom Cruise, I, what my, how I would describe it is he's like Adam Sandler to me. Like they just make the things that they make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Cruise is a movie star, I know he's still doing it, but like, I feel like this dude's doing his own stunts, this dude's, and Tom Cruise did his own stunts, he does it in all Mission Impossible's, he like makes, like it's, you know, he does Mission Impossible, it's like they, it's just your, it's like, he's making his own thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gwynth Paltrow's in an Uber Eats commercial and that's like where you're like, all right, like what do you need to be in an Uber Eats commercial? You know, it's like, so he's not going, he's staying a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's awesome, dude. Yeah, you're going to love it. Like it doesn't matter. It's just so, it's, it's a perfect time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I mean, there's some references and stuff, but I mean, you would figure it out. Uh, but it's, it's just the timing of this movie coming out. It's, uh, it's, it's just pleasant. It's just fun to watch. It's a fun one. Uh, I got a great time to go to the bathroom. Did you do it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does it say when you go Top Gun? What is it? Can you click it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cause you didn't go down farther. There you go. It's not on these four up front. So it's probably not the right to cash in my, uh, read time, eight minutes. I mean, maybe I'll go to the bathroom while you read it. Uh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo, yeaah, you don't ever have to get up and pee? I do, yeaah. Nothing? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's one with Nick. Nick and Travis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were flying back from LA to back here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he has to go, Nick, uh, has to go again in the, uh, uh, on the plane. So he goes again on the plane. And then he gets up and he's gotta go again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they end up like blocking the way where they're like, no you can't. Like they stopped and they go, that's enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I'd do that too. I'd rather not have to get people up. I will. I mean, I don't have to pee a ton on it, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you know, I do, you know, I mean if you're having a drink or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I even know what mutilating means. I know what mutilating means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, can't see what's coming. Yeah, I wanna, I wanna know what's going on. You wanna watch yourself get mutilated. Exactly. I wanna know what's happening. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, if you're hearing this on this day, 22nd, I'm at the San Diego County Fair with Lee Ann Morgan. Nick Novicki will be there with us. It'll be fun. It's my first fair I've ever done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I'm excited to get started seedling and then I'll be at Paso.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paso? Paso? No, no, Paso, I can't call it, it's somewhere in California.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Uh, all right, everybody. We love you as always. Thank you for listening to this and, uh, we will see you, uh, next week. All right. See you. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shout out to Mizzen and Maine, inventors of the performance fabric dress shirt. It's Mizzen and Maine's 10th anniversary. Check out their biggest sale of the year from July 8th through 11th. Go to MizzenandMaine.com. Use promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] to receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more. That's $35 off at M-I-Z-Z-E-N-A-N-D-M-A-I-N dot com promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And life insurance gives you peace of mind and you can trust policy genius. They don't add on extra fees or sell your info to third parties. Head to policygenius.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get your free life insurance quotes and see how you could save, how much you could save at policygenius.com slash nate. And finally, managing money can be hard and juggling subscriptions, I mean, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never pay for an unwanted subscription again with TrueBill. Go to TrueBill.com slash Nate. It could save you thousands a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The few animals, I mean, it takes us a while to do everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it felt pretty good, man. Some of those stretches. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you consider like Panera that or would you consider more of a fast food place?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's amazing. Good for you chat. I met some guys last weekend too that told me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've lost a little bit too. It's, it's a lot of pressure for me to, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm still down, I probably gained 15 pounds back from where I was, but I'm still down, still considerably lower than I was a while ago. But like, I gotta, I gotta kick it back into gear. So that actually gets me inspired, Chad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'd love to just be a part of this McDonald's meal after your special dude. Yeah, we could really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we talk, can we get comedy nerd here for a second? You're doing it in the round?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much have you done in the round? Are you nervous about that or are you even going to be thinking about it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great. Do you have any of those coming up before the special or is it gonna be jumping right into it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would probably fall, trip and fall down at some point, just trying to rotate around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I tell you, stop me if I told this story, but I did a corporate gig in Illinois not too long ago and I show up and it's at this big banquet hall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's a dance floor in the middle and there's half people sitting on tables over here. And then there's half people sitting on tables on the other side. And I go, where do you want me to set up? And they go, we figure you just kind of bounce around in the dance floor. I'm doing stand up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I go, well, I think it'd actually be, I go, man, I think it'd actually be great if.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's not too big of a deal, just kind of have everybody get on the same side and then I'll just stand in front of them. And he goes, oh, that's no big deal at all, man. So I'm standing in the back, he goes up, he goes, uh, hey everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the comedian thinks it'll be a little too hard to talk to you guys like this. He goes, I know it's a huge pain, but could you guys just pick up your table? And they're all like, oh, you can pick up the table. So they're going to move the tables over. But he framed it as like, uh, listen, I know this guy said he can't do his job. If you guys are sitting like this, I'm in the back like, oh man, I look like such an idiot, but they were already


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were sitting, they had just had dinner and they were on other sides of the dance floor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was full, but there was room they could all be on the same side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This show better be unreal. I didn't know that's what was gonna happen. I go, can everybody just kinda move? Which is not a crazy thing to ask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of them just brought their chairs over and they just sat, sat over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dance floor is like a third of the room and then the other, each end is people sitting down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a good, it was a good gig, but, uh, it was just very funny to hear him go, oh, comedians say it's a little too hard for him to do his job. You guys are sitting over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I maybe describe the room as more packed than it was. It was like, it looked so spread out in the air on either. I go, let's just get them all on one side. Then I'll face everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It did not feel like a crazy ass to be like, can we just, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wear a suit jacket. They have like a room they brought us in. You have to have one on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you took it off as soon as you got on stage, but we had to wear them around the whole time. Mine was like two sizes, too small. And I'm up there, Dusty's like, just do about seven to 10 minutes. I did two minutes. I was like, this is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is more, but sounds like it's less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I've started doing? That I like the same, it's the same kind of talking. I like a, what's your 20? You know what that means?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your 20s? Where, where are you? What's your location? I like saying that. Instead of a job where I had a walkie talkie and they would talk like that. And you do feel official. Roger copy that. What's your 20? I started asking people that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is code, but it's not like a Gen Z code, it's construction workers are using it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People know ETA. Nobody's asked what's your 20 means yet, Dusty. I'm relishing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like a clock, twelves ahead, six o'clock. If somebody tells you it's at six o'clock, you know that's behind you, right? You look confused right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, but picture you're in the middle of the clock looking straight at the 12.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Nate's at one o'clock. You're at probably 10 o'clock. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show is called Sprung, created by friend of the podcast, Greg Garcia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian and I are on it. Brian's in a couple episodes. I'm in one. I'm in the pilot. I saw a little sneak peek. It looks awesome. It looks awesome. It's very cool to be a part of it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ruined a lot of tape laughing. I messed up a lot of takes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and I know this because Rudy, Daniel Rutiger, the movie Rudy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was diagnosed as dyslexic in college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And at the time he had never heard of it. There's a line in the movie where he's like, I have this thing called dyslexia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, it's where the letters get mixed up. Like it was kind of a new thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I talked, I met a guy, yea, who was on, recently, who was on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A couple years, they, they overlapped on the team. It was annoying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's an annoying kid. He's a kid who's not good enough to be on the team and he won't shut up at practice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've been talking about that kid from practice, Rudy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1975 was the year Rudy made the sack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 74 to 79. So yeah, it was his sophomore year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've all been there. You want to do something online. So you sign up for a free trial. Then you forget about it. And then next thing you know, you've been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Canceled them all for me. It was amazing. True Bill Concierge is there when you need them to cancel on one of the subscriptions so you don't have to do the work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By law, most states don't have to disclose when subscriptions renew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little shady on their part. So get a hold of your subscriptions with Truebill. Don't fall for the scam. Start canceling today at Truebill.com slash Nate. Go right now. Truebill.com slash Nate. It could save you thousands a year. Truebill.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life insurance typically gets more expensive as you age, so it's smart to get a policy sooner rather than later. It's like a plunger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? You wanna get it before you need it. Absolutely. Yeah. Policy Genius is an insurance comparison website that makes it easy to compare quotes from top companies like AIG and Prudential all in one place to find your lowest price. You could save 15%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or more. 50% or more on life insurance by comparing quotes with Policy Genius. Just head to PolicyGenius.com, get personalized quotes in minutes, and find the right policy for your needs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Policy Genius team works for you, not the insurance companies. Whether you're starting to shop or have questions about your current policy, they're your independent advocates offering unbiased advice. And that's a rare thing these days. Head over to policygenius.com slash nate to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And finally, oh boy, it's our old friend, Mizzen and Mainz. Dusty, hand me that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mizzen in Maine, this is, uh, what a great shirt. Nate, I know you like this kind of material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a great road shirt. You can throw it in a suitcase. It's not gonna wrinkle too bad. You know, they say that Dean Martin, he'd wear a tux on stage and he wouldn't sit down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole weekend because he wouldn't want to wrinkle a suit. If you have Miz in the main, you can sit down, you can lay down, you can do squats, you can do whatever you want. It's not going to be a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well listen guys, they've got shirts, they've got polos, they've got chinos, they've got a lot of great stuff. It's Mizzen and Maine's 10th anniversary this July. They'll be having their biggest sale of the year, July 8th through the 11th. Don't forget to check it out. Right now if you go to MizzenandMaine.com and use promo code Nate, you'll get $35 off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any regular price order of $125 or more. That's $35 off when you go to M-I-Z-Z-E-N-A-N-D-M-A-I-N.com and use our promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I would go to a friend's house, I would go to MapQuest at home and I print it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's when I started. And that was just starting to go away. People were starting to get smartphones then. That's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I came here without it today. I challenged myself a little bit. Oh yeah. I started doing that. I'll drive to Zanies and back without it. And then I drove here without it first time today. Oh yeah. I just needed to remember the exit number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's only, it only took me 110 times driving here before I figured it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You strike me as a guy, you go outside and you like feel the wind and you can just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you can look at like moss on a tree. Is that really north? Alright!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my mom has the worst sense of direction. She's a very stressful driver. She gets very stressed driving. She was in a car accident years ago, so it's kinda like, she can't handle it. We did a family trip, for some reason she was driving, and this is still referenced among the family today. We're like eight hours into this trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're in the neighborhood of the house we're going to. And I was helping her navigate, and I gave her the wrong, I said turn left, and she said turn, we're in a neighborhood. She turns the wrong way, and I go, oh, that's the wrong way, sorry. And she goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be funny if you found out I had an Aunt B in my house, just an in-house person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Map making, cartography, that's what it's called, it's a study, cartography. Oh, cartography. You heard of cartographer? Is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always have to do that too. Subtract one and that's what it, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Atomology is where the word came, the history of the word, where it came from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's an old word they said. Yeah. See the root, it's the root of car is carras, which is a Latin word. The root of cartography is carte, which is a French word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know about this because there's a great episode of, sorry, the West wind where they talk about it. This is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is what's fun, this is what's fun about any, it's just at it's core it's an office place drama slash comedy. It's like an office without the jokes. The West Wing's a comedy? It's very funny in some parts dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's just a vehicle, especially if you're in a White House, it's like, that's an excuse to talk about basically anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, this clip from this. Oh really? So, so this is, yeaah, this is the world probably as you know it, Nate. It's the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That pretty much the whole world, this is the map that was used for a long long time, it's called the Mercator Projection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the issue with this, even though this is, when I still think about the world, I think about it looking like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mostly about the relative sizes between things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, how big the United States is compared to South, about the same size as South America, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Greenland, I mean, how big is Greenland up there? It's enormous. It's as big as Africa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm, okay, I was thinking just like United States.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the argument is, and in West Wing somebody comes in and presents this, is that this is an inaccurate depiction of the world, and it's much more likely the Gall-Peters projection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which looks, if you're used to the last one, this looks like it's just a distorted image. Yeaah. It's just stretched out. It's just stretched out, but look at the, look how big Greenland is now compared to Africa.


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[Assistant] Yeah, South America is so much bigger now. Europe is like nothing.


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[Assistant] Compared to what it was. It was just to go back. That's what it looked like before.


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[Assistant] And they've argued over the years that this was done. Go to Australia again. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Little small there in the corner and then it's a little bit bigger there.


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[Assistant] So it's been argued that they, they use that original Mercator projection to like, if you wanted to argue that.


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[Assistant] And imagine if you grew up on this map, this one would look insane to you. This other one.


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[Assistant] This could also just be, you know, there's no reason that the North is the North.


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[Assistant] That's what this was designed for, I think, so it could be laid out over a sphere.


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[Assistant] Now this is just a depiction of it in two-dimensional for a map.


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[Assistant] That's just what it is. That's what it actually is. There's just less up there.


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[Assistant] I think the white is for ice. It's not for snow that's on the ground.


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[Assistant] Yeah. But this could be upside down. I wish I could flip this upside down for you. This is, it could be, there's no reason that's the North and that's the South. Do you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] They took it from that orientation, but you could rotate around, take a picture. There's no fixed up and down and space.


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[Assistant] Hard is. Yeah, because the, yeah, the Antarctica is huge, huh?


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[Assistant] So this, this could easily be the world right here.


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[Assistant] And I think we should look at it like this, you know? Just to keep us grounded a little bit.


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[Assistant] There's no floor and ceiling in space. You can orient yourself any way you want. So you can look at the earth like this and that's no more right or wrong than looking at it.


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[Assistant] I don't know. I don't know what it means CE. AD means Anno Domini. I know that. That's now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we're in AD right now. Yeah. And CE. CE.


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[Assistant] C.E. means common era. It's the secular equivalent. If you don't want to say Anno Domini, which means year of our Lord, you say C.E. and that's the secular version.


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[Assistant] 2016. No, I'm kidding. No, they've been saying that for a while. It's just how it was written on this, uh, according to this.


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[Assistant] In 44 CE, year of our Lord, Pliny the Elder, an ancient Roman thinker, wrote that all creatures on the land had a counterpart in the ocean. We just had no idea. He thought, oh, there must be some kind of counter world.


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[Assistant] Like a mermaid. Yeah. In the ocean. Yeah. So ancient cartographers, old maps always had sea monsters on the maps to appear like aquatic versions of land animals like sea cow, sea pigs. Yeah. That's where all those terms come from. Sea horse, sea lion. I'll believe that.


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[Assistant] That would be terrifying if one was big enough to be written though. If one of those was that big.


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[Assistant] For the listeners, I have ccal typed in the Google images and Nate just asked me if it was my senior portrait.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's good. Only 70% of Earth's surface is covered in water and researchers are trying to map every last inch of it. On June 21st, which is World Hydrography Day,


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[Assistant] Every year, yea, World Hydrography Day, you don't celebrate.


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[Assistant] No, but it's the worldwide day where they call attention to it. On that June 21st, a group of international researchers announced that they are about one fifth of the way to that goal, having mapped 20.6% of Earth's total underwater area using modern sonar techniques.


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[Assistant] Well, the project is called Seabed 2030. It aims to map 100% of the global ocean floor by 2030.


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[Assistant] Using this technology from Science Vessels Corporation and private boat owners around the world. They're going to get all the info together and have a fully mapped all the oceans.


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[Assistant] But they say, I think we've said it before on this podcast, that we know, we know more about space than we do the ocean.


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[Assistant] But by 2030, that's all going to be over with. We're going to have it all mapped out. We're going to know exactly where everything is. It's pretty exciting.


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[Assistant] Well, they're using that. Yeah, it's just a lot of ground to cover there.


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[Assistant] Modern cartographers will often, this is very cool, I didn't know this, they'll also, they'll put little fake towns and places into their maps on purpose. They'll add fake cities in.


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[Assistant] They're called phantom settlements, paper towns, or bunnies.


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[Assistant] So that way when they see another map with the same town, they know that it was stolen from them.


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[Assistant] I bet it's like comedy. I mean, how many comedians are there really? Not that many.


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[Assistant] Well there's a group called the Cartographers for Social Equality.


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[Assistant] Well that's in the West Wing episode, I don't know if it's a real one.


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[Assistant] Two towns right here, B-E-A-T-O-S-U and G-O-B-L-U. That's from a Michigan fan that made the map. Go blue.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they don't get in trouble for that? Who's, I mean, who's policing these people?


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[Assistant] I guess it's just like a free market. Maybe let's just stop buying maps with fake towns.


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[Assistant] It's considered the first road map because it showed where people could pass around river bends. Tough to see now, but here's a, here's a artistic depiction of it. You can kind of see the first map ever drawn. First guy to think, maybe I should draw this out.


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[Assistant] Interesting, because we have pictures of the actual map, which are hard to read. Yeaah. And then this guy drew what was on the map.


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[Assistant] So this is an interesting example of Doug Dusty talking about not trusting these maps. And I, this is for, uh,


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[Assistant] Up until the 1800s, every major commercial map of Africa stretching across the western part of the continent to all the way to the right is the mountains of Kong.


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[Assistant] That's what it's called. You see this mountain range right here in the middle? That does not exist. That's what just 100% made up.


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[Assistant] But this could actually inconvenience you if you're planning a trip and you're like, gotta go around these mountains.


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[Assistant] You read these uncontacted tribes and stuff? Yea, but I thought they were fake. One was like- No, some of them are real, man. People die trying to contact them.


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[Assistant] And they didn't know what, they just started attacking this drone flying over taking pictures. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Oh, one of these pictures, yea, may have come out and that it was fake.


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[Assistant] Uncontacted tribe photos, no hoax. Not a hoax.


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[Assistant] Well, there's a kind of a tragic story about...


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[Assistant] I'm talking about not trusting this Google Maps and things. Amber Van Hack, a 24 year old college student from Denton Tech.


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[Assistant] Okay. A 24 year old college student from Texas was sightseeing by herself near the Southern rim of the Grand Canyon when the GPS instructed her to make a wrong turn.


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[Assistant] Geez. Did she die? No, she didn't die. If she did die, Brian left that out of the information here. But I feel like if she would have died, Brian definitely would have put that in.


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[Assistant] I hadn't finished reading, I hadn't finished reading the paragraph when I started it. I thought it was going to get wild.


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[Assistant] I had my, my car broke down in Gettysburg. It was like negative 10 degrees up there and I was, yeah. That's cool. So that got me to, let me get a little, a box together of stuff that if that happens.


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[Assistant] I got like hand warmers, I got a big jug of water, I got a first aid kit.


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[Assistant] Oh, it's a plastic jug. Yea. You should probably look into that. Yea. Some glass. Yea. It might be a problem. Maybe get a glass jug for it.


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[Assistant] Well, if I'm stranded, I'm dehydrated, I'm not looking to be refreshed. You know, looking to keep living. Yeaah, I guess that's true.


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[Assistant] And also I'm, for some reason, all the dangerous scenarios in my head involve it being very cold. Yeah. That's where I'm most, the cars.


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[Assistant] Buried in snow or something. Something like that's what I think of.


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[Assistant] It's, it's incredible dude, this guy.


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[Assistant] This guy just climbs up, he climbs up frozen waterfalls. Yeah. Just, uh, not roped in at all. Just free solos, the side of these mountains. It's, it's amazing.


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[Assistant] That's on this alpinist, that guy comes on as like a, and he said, this is the most unbelievable person he's ever seen, this kid.


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[Assistant] This guy's doing that to mountains too. He's doing, he's doing crazy. He's climbing mountains nobody's ever climbed before this guy.


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[Assistant] He's a writer. He's the greatest writer of all time. He wrote A Few Good Men. He wrote The Social Network. He wrote Moneyball, which is the best baseball movie ever made. He wrote The West Wing. He wrote Sports Night. The Newsroom.


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[Assistant] Social network is maybe the best movie of the, of the aughts of that whole decade.


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[Assistant] It's pretty great, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's good. Moneyball's good. He won an Oscar for it.


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[Assistant] And they're terrible again this year. For sure.


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[Assistant] Oh, was I? Oh, I don't know. Talking about the alpinists. Talking about the alpinists. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Oh, what was cool about him is all these other mountain climbers. They're like, I gotta have a social media presence. I gotta build a brand. And this guy, the alpinist, he's like, he would just go out and do it. No film crew, nothing.


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[Assistant] And then just be like, I did it. So he was kind of known.


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[Assistant] Among mountain climbers, but never had the commercial appeal that Alex Hennell did. But they all respected this guy. He did it literally just for the love of it.


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[Assistant] Well, then they did a movie about it. Once they found it, they had to track him down. He didn't have email or anything. They found this guy living in some remote climbing community and were like, can we please, and he kept leaving the production and had to find them again. He just had no interest in this.


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[Assistant] Well, like how to get sponsored by a company to send me gear and all that. He just didn't care. He's just out there.


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[Assistant] He was, he ended up getting sponsored by these people. But he had, we also had no money. He'd go to these little towns in, in all over the world, work for a while, save up money, and then just climb.


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[Assistant] Well, a lot of the movie is them just speculating what happened at the end of his life. They don't know for sure that even how he died was eating the wrong kind of bean.


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[Assistant] They looked at his journals and they looked at what was going on. They thought that's probably how he died.


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[Assistant] But he was struggling by the end there, like his journal entries are rough.


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[Assistant] He's like, it's not looking good. I'm almost out of rice. All this stuff. Yeah. So.


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[Assistant] Oh, obsessed with it. I think there's every, there's a part of every young man that's like part of you wants to do what he did. I wanted to do it for sure.


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[Assistant] Well his whole thing was he thought, and there, cause there were some old writers that thought this, that you could be happy not just from human experiences. That like I could just go out by myself,


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[Assistant] Be in nature and I could be just as happy as somebody with a family and kids and stuff.


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[Assistant] And then his big conclusion at the end, right before he died was he wrote in the margins of a book, happiness only real when shared.


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[Assistant] He like basically realized in those last moments, they think like, oh, that was nonsense. Like I'm not, I'm not truly happy out here.


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[Assistant] Money, money ball. He's not at it.


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[Assistant] You experience a little bit of a dopamine crash after a show like that.


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[Assistant] And I was listening to somebody talk about this. It's an evolutionary mechanism that when you have an over, when you're over flooded with dopamine from like performing or anything like that,


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[Assistant] The second that stops, your brain will over-correct and dip below even its normal level.


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[Assistant] The thinking is back in the day, if you find water or something and you get excited.


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[Assistant] Then if you just stayed super excited, then you'd expose yourself to enemies or something. You need to be aware so your brain would over-correct back below. So if you ever feel like that when you get off stage sometimes, it's just kinda like, wow, that is a crash. Feels different. Yea. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] My first zany spot, I won the Yazoo showcase. Yeah. And then I'm at work 8 a.m. the next day, just sitting there. Yeah. These people have no idea. Yeah. The greatness that's.


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[Assistant] Nah dude. Can I tell you a funny one from this weekend? I was in Salt Lake City with Brian last weekend and the two of us were walking around this big outdoor mall together and this guy goes, Aaron, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates.


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[Assistant] It recognized us. He goes, I listened to a big fan of the podcast and his wife's like, Oh, he won't stop talking about that podcast. He's like, can I get a picture with you guys? We're like, this is incredible, dude. You know, we're in that town doing shows and meet this person in the wild. He takes a picture with him and he starts walking away and Brian goes, you coming to the show tonight? He goes, nah.


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[Assistant] I'm in Indianapolis this weekend at the Helium Comedy Club. The upstairs room, it's a small room, I'd love to pack it out and then they bring me back to the big room next time.


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[Assistant] That's a great club. I've done it once and it feels awesome in there.


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[Assistant] I'm a fan of it. I love it. You don't smell like smoke. I mean, that's enough that sells it. That's all you need to know. That's the main, it's the greatest thing ever.


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[Assistant] Shop now, get up 30% off, follow firepits all month long, use promo code Nate at checkout to get an extra $10 off, plus a lifetime warranty and free 30 day returns. Just go to solostove.com, get $10 off when you use promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go folks, uh, welcome to the NateLand podcast, uh, I'm in, watching this, I'm somewhere, uh, Spokane, uh, we got, uh, Aaron Weber or Aaron Weber, Brian Bates and, uh, the back, the beautiful Greg Warren.


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[Assistant] Hey guys. Thanks for coming back. Uh, people are surprised you're back. They hated your episode. And it's a shock.


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[Assistant] Well dude, let us just show you then, if you're just doing your name.


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[Assistant] Uh, I believe you're on. Yeah, my name is on one of those. Yeah. Right there. Com, CMT common stage. My first TV credit, uh, Greg Warren. Yeah, I remember that. And y'all thought I worked for CMT. Uh, I remember that.


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[Assistant] Did we? Everybody did. Cause I was like, I mean, I was, no, I didn't, y'all knew each other. And, uh, from Bob and Tom is a lot of Bob and Tom guys. And then, uh, no one knew me. And they thought, I remember one point someone goes, Oh, I thought you worked for CMT. Like, and I was just hanging out with the comics. Uh, so it was very funny. And, uh,


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[Assistant] One guy was like, it's about what I expected. Yeah. Well, that's what you get when you work for me. Your day job is this. Uh, so, uh, here we are this week. We've got Greg back. Uh, and, uh, Hey, well, you need to look up. Cause we say we're gonna do it for the bio. You need to type your bio.


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[Assistant] Let's start off with you guys, hearing from you guys. Uh, Angie, I love, we don't make you smart, we make you happy, as Nate Land's new slogan. Oh, that's good.


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[Assistant] No, I know, I get it. So you don't want to hear. It's better to, like, know to have like, uh, your honest reactions.


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[Assistant] To like whatever, I think for being funny. Like when you go do radio shows, if you go do anything, you're like, I just need to be funny. Like in my, if I know too much, you try to play too much and then it can be not funny. I get it. Uh, so I don't, what was it?


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[Assistant] Thanks Angie. I would have forgot it completely. So, I truly would have. So that is, that's not a bad, we don't make you smart, we make you happy.


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[Assistant] Alright, this is, uh, Aaron Weber's, uh, AI bio. Are you going, are you willing to put it up on your website? I'll put it on my website right now. Okay. Well don't do it now, but.


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[Assistant] I remember building websites when, uh, when I was in New York, like when websites were starting to become the thing, when you had my space was real and then you had the website thing. I forget what it was called. You could build your own for free. And then I remember making mine and kicks or something. Wicks.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, so I remember doing it. I remember being very fun, but I remember starting it. And the next thing you know, it is five, six in the morning. And you're like, well, I don't even know what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Aaron Webber is a Southern stand-up comedian who's a co-host of the Nate Land podcast. He's originally from New Orleans, Louisiana.


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[Assistant] He started performing stand up comedy in high school and at college open mics. After college, he moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in comedy. He's appeared on the CW.


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[Assistant] And channel 4.5. He's also regularly at the combi store in Hollywood.


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[Assistant] He's a relatable comic who talks about his life and observations in a way that's relatable and entertaining. He's a rising star in the comedy world and is someone to watch out for in the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I would probably change to New Orleans. Comedy store. Comedy store, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta leave everything else. I would say do that. You don't want to be getting emails about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You a New Orleans comic? Come talk about Mardi Gras. And you're like, well, I'm not. I'm not from there. Uh, I beg to differ. Uh, the AI?


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[Assistant] I'm a good AI guy. I should be sick to talk to the AI.


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[Assistant] I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What were you on in CW? Oh, that comedy. Howie Mandel. Yeah. COVID special. Channel 4.5. Uh, not all the way. He's like, oh, so he's on two channels. You go, no, no, no.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's funny that it's still the idea of trying to make it like TV. I mean, there are audiences just...


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[Assistant] I think it's like, everybody watches 80 or above or something. Like it's, like they're not even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, Gale with this. Gale's nailing it. Who is Gale with this? She drives like a Prius?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels like there should be some kind of service or something. Yeah, they should do something for that. Why are you going against Gayle? Gayle can't go. The church should adapt to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, does the church not see like no one coming? And you're like, all these people don't want to drive at night?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I'll work on it. The church should adapt to it. Yeah. Uh, David Stadelman Jr.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Davis Saddleman Jr. As a disabled combat vet with deployments to Afghanistan and Iraq, I think I speak for all service members, but I thank Nate for not joining.


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[Assistant] Not because I don't think you'd be a good soldier, but we don't necessarily need someone wondering how rain and clouds work in the middle of a hostile situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do, however, need your personality and humor more as an outlet after tough situations.


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[Assistant] Thank you for your years of entertainment and a way to let go of some of the darkness so many of us deal with. And for the record, I'd gladly serve alongside you, keep up the awesome work. Thank you, David. That's very nice. That's very nice. That's awesome. That means a lot. Still gonna join, David. Come in. Me and you, buddy. We'll be riding around. You're like, I think he's over there. I'm like, what is over there?


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[Assistant] Uh, Tori Dixon. Hi Nate, my husband David is a huge fan. We went to your show at the Palace Theater in downtown LA. He's also one of the helicopter police officers that flew over you so many times at Universal while you're filming your special. I think he feels like he was a special part of that show. That's crazy. That's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Greg, I do comedy for a living. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] In my, in my special aid, helicopters fly over. They, they, they, it just happened. There was a police chase. That's unreal, dude. Wow. And so, it's, it, it was in my special. And so I had to talk about it because it was happening so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so during the special, it's like all these helicopters flying, we just addressed them, can't make jokes. And so we found out later it was a police chase and it's unreal that this is, that this is the guy and he's one of the helicopter police officers. Well, hey, uh, Tor, why don't you ask your husband, where does he get off? Where?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show business, right, right. I believe it says I'm a huge fan. Well, David, what the matter with you? That's unreal, dude. I hope, uh, we need to know when he's at an LA or comes to another show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm doing that with Lee Ann Morgan, San Diego fair. That's pretty fun. First fair I've ever done. That's a great show. Right after it's bearded lady, me, they're weighing pigs. So that's going to be the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beer lady comes out, I do, me and Leann do a hot 30, 40 hour, I don't know, whatever it is. And then they weigh the, uh, pigs. That's a great show, man. Yeah. We have to do it on the scale. So the whole time it just fluctuates between 197, 180. Leann's not happy about it, but you gotta do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I imagine you had to do a show on a scale. And you're, you're up there and you couldn't even do, you know, you're trying to do no like fat jokes and someone's reading the scale and they're like, it says 450. They can't get over that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a good idea. Uh, uh, alright, well yeaah. They might come to that San Diego show. Alright, yeaah. We'll be in touch. I'd love to meet you guys. That's so crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ninety-five percent of the reason this podcast is so great is due to the relationship between you three. Could you please tell us how y'all met? The age difference between Batman and Eren makes me curious on how this happened. Well, I think you were, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. Have we not said it when we met? I feel like we have. I think when I met, I don't, I met you a long time ago. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just in comedy. I was already doing, I've been doing comedy for 19 years. Almost, it'll be 20 next year, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just thought how old I look, and I'm like, you know, in about 14 years. What have you been doing, 15?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. 15. Yeah. So I was already like, I was in New York. I was, when we met, I was in New York and I was around that. You come home a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Comedy is. Yeah, yeah, we all just randomly, you end up knowing people usually before you meet them and then you're, you just meet them. Yeah. Uh, and age difference. Oh, oh, oh, they know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I think, I mean, he's older than me. And it's like, but it's like, I've always felt an older comic than him just because I've done it longer than him. And I was in New York. So it's like, I, absolutely. I go by, your age doesn't even really matter. Like it's your years that you're in comedy. You're just off comedy years. It's like who, the age is kind of like, who cares?


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[Assistant] And it's, but it's like, well, I've been doing it 20 years and you're like, oh, I was only doing 10. You're like, wow, that's crazy. And then, so like, yeah, it is, that is very, very true. I only judge something by the years and the respect


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The respect you could give someone is, it's almost like everybody above you is like, there's just a little, you kind of just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot more respect giving about it, because it feels like you're elders, even though I could be the same age as half these people. Oh yeaah. Or something, but you're like, no, no, no, you've been around for a long time, you've done, like, there's just respect that you have, you know, and then under you don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would do that. Sometimes you'd get to that. Especially when the kids got, when they started throwing harder, it was, uh, I would get to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, Sonny. Did you hit off him? No, I just, he was, we went down to Vanderbilt and uh, it was when they were about to get, like before last season, so he was, he was getting ready to go. And so Sonny was like, just staying in there so I can have like a body that's like staying there. I didn't have a bat or anything. And I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, Sonny, how do you, you feel amazing dude? And he goes, I was like, cause if you feel even a little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, uh, he threw, nah, I mean he, there was nothing, I mean I was standing, I mean I was just in the middle, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was Coach Stallings, uh, Blinken on his first name, uh, Brandon? No, his son. Yeah, yeah. Uh, he's a catcher. He catches for the Pirates. I know him. I'm for some reason Blinken on his name right now. And then, uh, but he was catching cause they, then, and so they were just like pitching and they're, uh, uh, it's Stallings. Last name's Stallings. Yeah. And then, so. Jacob Stallings. Uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what are you like? Nah, it's his other stuff. Hey, comments, you know? Uh, no, yeah, it's Jacob's song. And so, uh, Greg, and then he...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huge. Six-five. That was the guy that was catching? He was catching. Wow. And then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, so yeah, he threw it in like, I mean, it was wild. I remember I told Mike Yashemsky, I'm friends with him too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had one the other day I asked him to, uh, cause we were trying to meet up, uh, when I was in LA and he was under like, he ended up getting under COVID restrictions or something. So I didn't get to see him. But, uh, so we were texting and I told him, all right, he's going out to game. I was like, well, he had a home run. I was like, for me and your baby. Cause he just had, his wife had a baby and they, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, he, he goes, and he hit me, he texts me and he goes, well I'm glad I did. And I was texting him, I guess as the game was starting. And then he hit home run. Wow. And I was like, that's crazy, that's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, so he, but I remember, uh, cause they were, during COVID, they would go up there and practice and hit. They'd go to like a high school. I mean, he was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, uh, I mean, Sonny's out there pitching, you shrimp sees batting, Mookie Betts was out there. I mean, it's, it's all these local guys and they'd all get together and like Stalin's like a lot of Vandy guys. And, uh, but I said, I was like, you know, Sonny would always be, he's like, come out there. He's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, you know, take it like some bad practice. And I told Yaz, he was like, yeah, you gotta go. These pictures ain't going to hit me. And he goes, no, just come out and you'll be great. I was like, Sonny said he'd do it. And Yaz goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Been paying a lot of penalties in interest for not paying quarterly or filing on time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True bill. Is it empty or does it have a cord in it? You think it does, but it's empty. Oh, okay. But isn't there a saying that's something like that? Sounds right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably, there's a saying like that. Alright, I'm gonna look that up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Ben Rosser, would you rather murder at Madison Square Garden for an entire weekend or shoot a 100 at Augusta National with a foursome of your choosing, who would the foursome include? Uh, uh, it'd be murder at Madison Square Garden for an entire weekend. I mean that's, you know, that's your career.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'd shoot a hundred. I think I could shoot a hundred there. I'd imagine, I mean, I'd imagine I could shoot a hundred, but, uh, yeah. That's 36 though. Oh, yeah. If I can shoot that, look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's over the week, if it's two days and I shoot a hundred in total in those two days, I'll take that over the murder. That's a legend. I mean, that's a, you're, you're talked about forever. You're a legend. Yeah. You can go do Massacre or whatever for the rest of your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How would you break it up? I'd almost be like, I would want like, uh, you shoot like a 40 on the front side and they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wow. Which is, uh. Been put a whole one on every hole. Was it a nine hole?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you did with that story. Uh, this thing come in pretty good. Tom Miles, my seven year old has taken interest in telling jokes, but as I'm sure you're aware, seven year olds have a hard time being funny when they're trying to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your timing. My timing in some sentences are like, what? Like what is even, as you're doing it, you're like, what am I doing dude? It's a regular sentence. It's not like a special, we're not introducing a king.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, yeah. It would be, just be funny the way you're funny. And then, you know what? Tell them to be like, start thinking about why you're funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that'd be good. Yeah. Like why are you funny? Cause then maybe it would help you figure out a joke if you go, well, what's making you, you know, what do you think it is that makes you so funny?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yeah, so you want to be you. So just keep being you and then figure out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just keep being you, uh, and you're already funny. People are laughing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, you know, also if he's, if he does something funny to like, you know, his parents, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also do, uh, try to do it to a different group. Try to do that same funny to a different crowd. And don't, don't tell the crowd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's no pressure. Just be funny. I started to be funny. I was trying to give him one thing to try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not like Charmin. Charmin? Well, how would you say it? That's Showerman. Showerman. But not spelled like shower. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After, does anybody, you don't think, it'd be like showermen, everybody goes, S-H-O-W-E-R man? And he goes, nah, nah, it's uh, S-C-H-A-U-E-R. Oh, oh. Sorry, I thought you, I thought I was talking to a guy who came from money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After listening to the ketchup debate, I decided to check the label on my peanut butter jar. The label clearly states no refrigeration necessary. But because my parents always refrigerated the peanut butter after opening it, I couldn't quite pull the trigger on moving an open jar of peanut butter into the pantry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember laughing at the words when I read them like open jar of peanut and I think it's over and then butter. After that it was like, well I didn't see that word coming. And then I'm like into the pantry, I'm like, I thought we were done. That's cause you're at the end of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's, I think I'm prepared for it to be the period to be after moving on open jar peanut butter and then it's over. And so then maybe I'm getting shocked by that into the pantry and I'm like, I didn't know we were going to keep going. It's a little more on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little more on the end that you go, I wasn't prepared. I need to see where that period's at before I commit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I convinced myself it was the peanut butter company trying to make the product go bad more quickly so that you would have to buy more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've talked about this. Yeaah. It's, uh, I knew that's true. So, you know, what do you think about it? You sold it, you sold peanut butter?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, that's cool, man. Yeah, with him, but the, I was Jif, the peener.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, jelly people, you're almost like jelly, cause maybe peanut butter seems like it came first over jelly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Oh, you think jellies, yeah. You know that's where the, even though you are, you're like peanut butter would be like we're the staple. We're true to what we are. And in jelly, you're like, I don't love jelly. I think jelly's flashy and all this other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're moving. It's the future. So it's either be friends with them or get out of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, jelly was, it changed, it changed everything. I would imagine peanut butter was first and it was like, you know, it gets good. Is that not right? Oh no. I mean, God, they make you really study when you sell peanut butter, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta talk Kroger into buying peanut butter. They were anti-peanut butter. Go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you go pick up girls and you're like, you get a little GIF, you give her, hey, you wrote my number down and you write her a GIF pin and she goes, go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like get in Montreal, we get in Montreal Comedy Festival, and you tell your family, and they're like, they what? Are you going to Kansas?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're making sure they're keeping Jeff. You make sure that the Kroger's keep is happy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there, cause it's like, if you get moved out of that, I mean, you gotta think of it. It's, it could be millions of dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You finally beat me down, man. He goes, I know Frito Lay's got you up there in the cheap seats. Pringles, we're going to bring you on the field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Pringles, y'all were more proud of your, we're selling a product and Frito-Lay is like, and you know what, when you look at the product, it looks like that. Frito-Lay looks like a chip that would be like, they don't play by the rules. They get squirrely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, who was the first class citizens? Like the? Oh, bag chips. Oh, bag chips. Oh, cause you're in a can. We would ship like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to get, let me just read these ads, because I want to, this is my favorite thing, and then please tell me more about this. Let me just read it. Uh, Frito Lay! I'm going to get fired off this spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, spring is here, so enjoying your solo stove outside is even more fun. With more things to do, take a camp. You've never seen a solo stove, Greg?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a, you get a fire pit and you don't smell like smoke. Oh yeah. It's a big deal. You smell, it's a big deal to me. I don't like smell like smoke. I'll take a shower. This one, you just pop it in. Fire looks unreal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take it, take out camping anywhere cause it's all like, you know, together. Yeah. I go set the forest on fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is no set up, just unbox and enjoy a little fire starter wood and you can have a nice fire quickly. We have the bonfire version with the stand. It burns down to a white ash so clean up is super easy. Upgrade your backyard with a solo stove fire pit is the perfect way to get outside and spend more time with family and friends. Easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, to light with a few bits of starters, your Fire's Blazing Minutes, perfectly portable, so you can take it with you on trips. Shop now and get up to 30% off Firepits all month long and use promo code Nate at checkout to get an extra $10 off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus a lifetime warranty and free 30 day returns. Just go to SoloStove.com and remember you get $10 off when you use promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm. I liked watching you watch. You liked it. You, you, you. Are we questioning it? You like an ad?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, dusty down there and stuff, but then- It's like going under someone's sink and you're like, but where's some good chips under there? And you're like, you're not supposed to drink anything under there. And that's what it felt like. It did feel like that, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all are like the moneyball chip. Like y'all were- Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's a big deal and shit, a huge deal and shit. I go barbecue, uh, a lot. I go barbecue probably the most I would go of something. And do you eat barbecue Pringles? No. You don't? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. That's on us, man. That is. That is on us. That's not on you. That's not on you. The fact that you guys, uh, own. Yea, you own up to it. You own up to it. I will go do more of your barbecue Pringles. Yeaah. Out of the, cause I know


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dead gum yet, but those ones that are the, the squirre, the squirrely ones are the. Oh, the twist, the spirals. Those are unbelievable. It's a good product. I mean. It's a good product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ours is, no, Laura keeps ours cold, but it's, uh, but I mean, when you spread cold, it's like, it's a nightmare. Yeah, I guess it is. If you're using, if you're eating butter every morning, if you're eating that much butter, I would leave a stick out. Like if you're like, I mean, every morning I have a piece of toast, I put butter on it. I think you leave it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you had some days when you came home and you're just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, I mean, throw your jacket against the couch and you're like these Pringles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was like one of those things they have on wall street where they got all the money they stole the money from and you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you, I mean, so yourself, would you have wanted to get to the tide or it's hard to get up there? No, I didn't want to be in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's interesting. So when it shows you this, it's like Project Gamble's like thing. Yeah. Food's not even really on there. Cause it's, uh, it just, food's not, it's, uh, I remember working for, uh, when I worked for FedEx and you would say, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's your, like, you know, I was like, oh, is our, your, our competition, like, uh, UPS. Yeah. And our post, and they're like, no, like, I mean, the UP, it was either UPS or the post, they're like, they're so far ahead that you're like, we can't even. FedEx was? No, no, they, they were above FedEx, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then it was like DHL was like coming, it was new. I remember them. You heard about DHL and you heard about the, you know, I was on FedEx trucks. I was in New York delivering FedEx. Were you? Yeah. And you see the DHL guys show up in their yellow shirts or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, these guys, just ringing all the doorbells, just trying to get in. wannabes. wannabes. They weren't us. I agree. I took pride on it. Yeah, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, they're close. They seem close now. I want to say, uh, maybe the post, maybe it's the regular postal service too, was like, did, still did a lot. Yeah, the USPS. Yeah. Yeah, they, they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, now you're in it. Not a bad group to get together with. Yeah. I mean, I think it's borderline monopoly. That is true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Well then you start going and you start looking at Tide and you go. You have to break it up. Where would you be catching Tide? You get bread, peanut butter and jelly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Head and shoulders. Nyquil. Nyquil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but I mean for themselves. We take care of each other. We take care of each other at Procter & Gamble, which is why we're where we're at and where you're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably like, uh, one of his, one of the ex-wives, maybe. You know, you feel like one of the, uh, I don't know who proctored our gamble, but, uh, someone is, you know, someone got, he goes, well, I want to make my own, he goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go make your own. Just do it. Just do it. Maybe a kid. He's like, just make your own. They go, yeah, yeah. Gains fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, you know, Dr. Proctor, Mr. Gamble, just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unilever is a Dutch company. So is Proctor and Gamble a, was it a two people or something? Started in the soap and candle business back in the 1800s. So there's just two guys make soap and candles and then slowly just went into like, and their company gets so big that they're like, let's try food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, that's, I mean, they got it. It's one of the most probably powerful. Giant company. Yeah. Yeah. They run, they run everything. They can just stop and happy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Really? Yeaah. You'd think I'm a coke guy. I think I would, I think I would...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I appreciate the Coke people more. But I think- Culturally, you're a Coke guy. Culturally, I'm a Coke guy in my heart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And greatest average American. And the, the, uh, but the, but I can, I can definitely see Frito Lay in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In test markets, so you're running commercials that only they see and food that they only they. Yeah, yeah. Like it's at the grocery stores. Like you're, you act like it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everywhere in the world. Yeah. The test market. So people could move, specifically, and they're like, oh I'm in a test market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you want, so like if someone's like, so if you ever drive, if you're living Pittsfield or if you're driving through Pittsfield, it's like go stop at the grocery store. You're going to see some stuff that- Oh yeah, man. You'll see some-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wow. Pitsfield, Massachusetts, where I did my show, lost 500 bucks. Oh really? I talked about it. I'll tell you about it later, but it's uh, I told him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you hit the 57. No, you hit, I'll show you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hit these 57s. Those? So you go like this and you hit that number. You don't tap that. That's a label. Greg. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me tell you something, you do it like this, if you hit a ketchup bottle from the bottom, it's going up and down. And if it shoots out the wrong time, your white tux ruined. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, has there ever been like eight? Yeah. Has there ever been even a lot of varieties?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's prob, he might did it on purpose. How many did Ripken, or no? Uh, he did, games started. Okay, well yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, maybe, let me see the packet. I think I know. Oh, I, no, I don't know. See if intuition kicks in. If you just tear it here and then you like, just do that, then I'm wrong. Then I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're looking at like, uh, if you're just listening, uh, we're looking at, I mean obviously packets of ketchup. Someone says there's a guy driving a car and he's like, I don't even know what's happening anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, alright. Just, just what do you do? Ed guys out of Cleveland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really something about kids are bored and they're, I mean, and they're just, they're like, try it's unbelievable. And there's a conversation piece and you're like, it's one year college ruined.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I heard, I think I heard Rumblings. Oh really? I think I, I think I heard about it. I was, you know, maybe on the wrong side of the tracks. Hanging out with the wrong crowd. Yeah. And I was, yeah, I don't want parents to find out I knew about it. I tried to, I was like, I heard about it in church. You know, that's what I said. That's the thing man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but that, but they should do it. Dippin' Dots should do, I love Dippin' Dots so much. That's a great product. Great product. And I thought, I mean, they're, Dippin' Dots is my product that I thought when I first saw them, I go get, well move over ice cream. We look ridiculous now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love them so much, and I still do. I think they're so great. When I see them, they're at Bucky's. Every time I see them, I grab them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Biggest thing I've ever seen. And so every time I see Dippin' Dots, I always, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I feel like when they're in a small thing, like they're the best out of the tub that they come in. And so it's really a product that's made to be sold at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got the connections. I'm not saying that again. He was there the day the fry got invented.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think me and you would be a great team for Dippin' Dots. Yea, I'd like to be part of it. We know how to get, we know how to get stuff working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're still selling. Uh, alright, uh, we gotta go. This is a quick one. Uh, uh, thank you everybody. What, uh, we'll be in Woodstock


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and check out Greg Warren. Yeah. Uh, his website's got all the dates. Uh, again, super funny. Yeah. Great to have you. But yeah, thanks guys. This is the ball, man. Yeah. All right. We love you. Thank you very much everybody. See it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you to our sponsor, Beard Club. Beard Club delivers quality hardware and consumables that will help you get a better, thicker and fuller looking beard.


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[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm Nate, uh, Senator Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay, and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we're having a good time. We could use more of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a good look. Yeah. Yeah. So everybody listen. Uh, Brian Bates is a dusty sleigh right now. Let's send it. We'll show a picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, making that fudge, yeah. Yeah. A lot of you went through, uh, catchphrases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did the bank, did she, did the bank tell her to think too? Like it was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like if you wait tables, you have to get changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, dude. I mean, that's crazy. If you got blonde hair, you would be, I mean, a perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're going to say Garth and then they're going to have to remember, wait, did he have, what hair was it? Did he have black hair? Like it would be a mix. You just say it's a combination of both. Like I'm a tribute to both. I'm both of them right now. Cause you actually kind of do look like both of them now that I look at it with that hair. With that hair and then if you had a Wayne's World hat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, welcome everybody to the show. Uh, it's the first, uh, we've been gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you have seen, uh, on, uh, I mean, I announced it on everything and talked about a lot. Uh, we'll be playing Bridgestone Arena April 15th. I went to the Predators game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, I gotta wave the towel, uh, we, we sat, we stayed and watched the, we were sitting right behind the LA Kings bench. And we ended up staying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's where they put us in, like, we stayed there, me, Harp, and Laura, we, I was home for like 24 hours. And we went and did that, and uh, but it was super fun. It was fun to talk to Harp about hockey. Like, I don't know everything, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, you know, like I get, they get to see him fight. And so I've been just bumping her against walls. Checking her. Just, I've been checking her at home going, this is hockey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I was like, yeah, they just let them fight. And then, and then I pulled her shirt over her. You know, I go, this is what they do. And then, and then I, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the whole, the whole thing was great. We, uh, we ended up leaving it, uh, when overtime started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the main reason, we had an LA Kings guy sitting behind us and he just started like, he didn't really say anything the whole game. He wasn't cursing or anything, but he was just, he started like going, let's go LA. Like just by himself and going crazy. And it was so loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like they came back and I get it. Uh, and I don't, you know, it's like, look, if he was yelling at the whole time, maybe we could have, I'd buy the consistency of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting. Like the one other guy behind him. Yeah. That's the LA Kings fan. Uh, and he's my age. Like, you know, that's the, that's the thing I have the moat. You're going like, hey, come on now. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are, I've learned with sports, the older you get, you're like, they're, it's children out there. They could be my child. So we gotta, we gotta probably, let's knock it back a little bit and just not be.


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[Assistant] He had a lot and it was, he, I would never say he was being any, you know, if he was like cursing and yelling, like then you, we would have left way earlier, but it was just, it was right behind us. He was the seat behind us. You know, it's getting loud. Harper's 10. It was at that point, it's super late.


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[Assistant] Uh, and when we got up and left, he's like, are y'all leaving? And I wish I just would have been like, we're leaving. Yeah. You feel like you're into this super hard. I want the Predators win, but like, I also have a 10 year old, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm just trying to, my name was on the ice tonight. I don't know if you've noticed all the pictures. They advertise it the whole game and go, but it was, uh, then they ended up losing, which was just, we missed that in the shootout, but we just hit it. Boy, when you got a kid, you're just, you know, you're.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, oh, why don't you stay, she's 10, it's Tuesday, uh, I'm su- we, I was surprised we made it to the third, we were having so much fun. Yeah. That we stayed, and I, we would have stayed probably the whole time, but it was, once that started happening, it was like, alright, like, it's just gonna, like-


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[Assistant] So, but it was, uh, the whole thing was great. And, I mean, they gave me this jersey. It's got my name. They gave us all jerseys. They were so nice. And, uh, it's, yeaah, it's wild. Like just seeing it and then you just look around. I mean, you're, you know, you're on, advertised on everything.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, very wild, very wild. Doing some of these we've done, uh, we just were in Grand Rapids and uh, I mean it was like,


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[Assistant] And when you're up there, it, I mean, it's like, you just go like, oh, this is not a joke. Like not that any, not that you ever took anything for a joke before, but I think you just gradually move forward that you are not as, I mean, you can't believe you're in theaters, but you're in like, uh,


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[Assistant] 800 seat theater versus a 300 seat club, you know, it's like little jump. And then you get to an arena and you're like, Oh, well, this is for real. This is, yeah. You're like, it's gotta be.


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[Assistant] It, it, it, you know, you get there and you're like, oh, I gotta be, like that, when we went to that Grand Rapids, it was like, we just stayed in the arena kind of all day. You know, it's like, it was a beautiful day. We got very lucky this weekend when the weather was awesome. And, uh, and every city we went to, Green, I mean, Green Bay, Rockford, uh, uh, and there, uh, Grand Rapids, we were somewhere before that.


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[Assistant] Like Duluth, Minnesota. It's a little hidden gem there. You get there and you're like, Oh wow. Right on the water. Right on the water. Cool. Looks nice. Yeah. People should go there. Uh, but yeah, it was, uh,


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[Assistant] But that one we, we just stayed in the arena kind of the whole day. Cause you just, you know, we walked around, we went, we've been working out and we worked out in their gym and there's, I think the street training coach was in there and he was not happy. He was like, what are y'all doing? He just yelled it. And I mean, uh,


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[Assistant] So you, you gotta mix, uh, uh, well, we had our video guy, Schubert, uh, Justin was, uh, if you ever see the videos, you hear a voice in the back, it's Justin Schubert. He's been shooting a lot of these clips and stuff for us and been with us and he was just riding a bike and everything was going good. And when we all walked in, the guy was like, uh, he was like, don't be messing, don't leave everything everywhere.


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[Assistant] Or maybe it is, I don't know, I don't know, you know. But I always think it's their people.


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[Assistant] Yeah. He had a problem and he looked like he could have. Yeah. I mean, he's a hockey strength. He's the hockey, either the hockey coach or the strength training. Sound like a coach.


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[Assistant] Uh, but our video guy, Justin, he left immediately once that happened. He felt it got weird. And then it was, but then we worked out.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, I told the guy, I was like, if you want to come to the show, man, you're welcome to. And he's like, I think I'm going to go home. Like he, he's like, you know, I was trying to, as a comic, you kind of want to go like, oh, let's win him over. And he was not thrilled. Uh, but we worked out. He was very, I mean, he was just, I get it. We're in his world.


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[Assistant] That's the thing is like you go, we're in his, you know, I'd imagine if you meet him outside, you're not, he's not going to be, we just walked into his planet.


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[Assistant] And just, you know, we're us being like, we're going to work out. It's like, ugh. I mean, there's like real hockey people working out in there.


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[Assistant] Matt was a Matt, so Matt does, uh, he worked out here at our home. And like, so we were doing that like during COVID and like all that stuff with Kluge Fitness. Ah, okay. And then, uh.


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[Assistant] Clue, like during COVID, they would come to, they come to his house, we got a quarter sec together and I talked about it on the last special.


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[Assistant] And this is our quarter cycle, we just kind of work out together with Matt. So Matt came out cause Eric couldn't come.


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[Assistant] And, cause it's a little, Eric can travel, like Matt, it's, it's hard, it's, I mean, it's so much travel, it takes a...


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[Assistant] You gotta be able to like have, be able to fit that into your life, uh.


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[Assistant] We're going after dude. I'm getting like, I, I, I, you know, it's like I don't ever like, uh, like getting in shape, uh,


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[Assistant] Before and you're like, I'm just doing it now because I won't be able to go to these. I'm realizing I can't, I can't travel if I, if I do this, if I don't do this, if I don't get in some kind of shape, I won't be able to go do, uh, all these cities and I don't want to be miserable and just like have no.


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[Assistant] I'm talking about it too much. Uh, work out, don't work out, do what everyone does. Uh, it's, I support you anyway. No matter what. Thanks man. Aaron's been letting loose.


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[Assistant] I like to get a little incline going. Yeah, that's a great, a great easy, not easy, but it's a great, you want to get your heart rate up is you go to like 12 incline and then just walk on like 2.8 or something and just do that for even worst case 20 minutes. But, uh.


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[Assistant] That's like, if you can, it gets you going. It's a good, like before, somewhat before a show, I've learned that that feels good. You get a little, you get some energy and.


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[Assistant] It's spiral, like when you go on the road, that's when you hit a point to go, if you want to perceive farther, you, stuff has to, like, you have to be ready for this.


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[Assistant] And it is, it is very interesting to go. You can get through clubs. I mean, everybody do a drink. They eat bad. You're like, you're doing it every weekend. You just getting like habits of that. And then you get into theaters and you're doing like, all right, well now you got to travel each day in between each show and you're doing a lot more shows. And then that was like, all right, no more drinking. Like that's, that's going to put a stop to that.


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[Assistant] Uh, or I'm not going to get where I want to get is what I thought. And then, and then you get to, we start doing even more and you're like, oh, this food is like a problem. Like I'm tired and I'm.


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[Assistant] My brain is like, food is so bad. It's so bad out here now. It is crazy. Yeah, it's crazy.


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[Assistant] That's what I think even too. And maybe it is the old, I want to get in bed shape. It's the older, but the older you get too, you want to go like.


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[Assistant] You start seeing like, what medicine are you trying to make me buy? Right. You're putting me on, I'm eating so much weird stuff.


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[Assistant] The other, uh, thing I was going to say, so everybody knows if you come to the Bridgestone show, uh, all of the Nate land crew will be on that show. All right. All right. That week, that week, I think we're going to Johnson city and then Bridgestone. Uh, so you will see all of us. Well, I'm pumped about it. That's going to be awesome. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. Thanks for having.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, I'm excited. I think, uh, you know, it'll be super fun. It's going to be, and my, the show is in the round. If people, some people have asked that about tickets, like they're thinking like, where are you facing and stuff. The show, like, so I will be in the middle and when you go up, you just kind of make a circle. So you'll be facing everybody. Just kind of, you know.


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[Assistant] Mhm, you pick a, pick a direction. I go east, Aaron Owen goes east.


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[Assistant] Is the East coming? East would be weird, you'd be facing sideways.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna practice at home, just make a circle.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Working on it. Well, this is going to be a good thing for you. Okay. Yeah. I feel like when Desti, you're up there, you're not going to trust your back. Yeah. Well, that's true. That is true.


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[Assistant] And behind me, I feel like it's at me. Yeah. Yeah. So you're going to have to always just kind of be.


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[Assistant] You're going to feel exhausted. Yeah. Yeah. Mentally for sure. Yeah. Paranoid. My nerves will be shot.


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[Assistant] I think, Brian, you will end up sitting on the stage of the whole show because you'll forget where to get off.


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[Assistant] You should get off like, uh, uh, just because the video is not political, but like Joe Biden getting off the stage. That's how you should always leave the stage. You just get done and you go, all right, where do I go? And then someone has to come up and grab you.


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[Assistant] They win, they almost always walk the wrong direction. That would be the good part of your act.


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[Assistant] And I, yeah, I hope the curtain shut and I hope it's like, it looks, everybody, when they watch it, it'll be interesting to see.


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[Assistant] No, well yea, people don't, you know, at a taping I think people are just. They're nervous. Yea, they're like, I don't want to.