[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got a lot, like they manipulated the facts of it in such a way that it's pretty annoying to me now. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I used to do a whole bit about how, you know, every team they played had black and white players.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. And that's the whole point of the movie is they're the only racially integrated team. So Disney...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Disney re-segregated the Virginia public school system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a film, which is pretty messed up when you think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy gets paralyzed, Gary Bertier, who was committed to Notre Dame by the way, number one defensive recruit in the country that year. He got paralyzed after the season ended.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they paralyzed him early. Of course, they're like, well, let's put it before the big game. Now it matters, right? So then you do stuff like that. I understand you have to change the story to make it work for a movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But once you read the real story it's really disheartening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you're, you might've just inadvertently discovered a little Easter egg in the movie exactly when that happens after he makes the sack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rudy's dad and it turns around and celebrates with the real Rudy is an extra in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a part where he turns around, he grabs a guy, that's the real Rudy. But you don't see that guy's face, do you? You do see his face for a split second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's a video of us landing on the moon. Tell me when it comes down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think anybody's saying it isn't amazing or difficult to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what's really funny? Have you read about those two guys that just don't like each other at all?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, you watch the show and you're like, Oh, they're best friends hanging out, doing science together. And then apparently they would, they'd get done filming and they just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But how, not to, not to reintroduce this all day, but how would they, how would they get organized?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So ants would build cell phones and computers and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, generations and generations and yeah, yeah. Years and years and years. I was thinking I wore like right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but they, the whole argument in favor of the ants was that they act as a unit. They're so organized. They're so militarized as Nate said, but once you introduce the human ego, the human consciousness into that, that's all out the window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're watching a video here of a floating fire ant bridge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And these fire ants just kind of pile on top of each other, create.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A bridge going across the water. That is terrifying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well did you know they could, they could pile up and build bridges across water? I did know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Redcorn had a, had a child with his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had an affair for quite a while. And everybody knows except him. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have the video, we've talked about this on the podcast a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your foot, the, the, the mechanics of your swing are supposed to be such that your back foot will turn as he's swinging. Well, Brian knows you're supposed to do that, but his swing doesn't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Former long drive champion of the, of the world. Talk about this dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks like a cow patch. I play some bad golf courses where the grass is all dead. Nobody's taking care of anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll think of the qualities that make a golf course bad, which you just said you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah. Some of the nicer golf carts have, uh, they got the digital map of the course you're playing. It'll tell you where your ball is and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we are. Who's going to stop us this time? That's right. That's right. Who's going to stop us? Opera house, opera house. This Friday. Yeah. February 4th. I don't know. I don't know either. Yeah. This Friday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's in February. The first Friday of February. Yeah. Dusty Slay is headlining the Lexington Opera House in Lexington, Kentucky. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I opened for Dusty at the Decatur, Illinois at the airport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did a show at the airport, the green room was the concourse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try to eat some guys up there talking. Struggling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Cornbread Mafia was the name for a group of Kentucky men who created the largest domestic marijuana production operation in United States history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, 70 men have been arrested for organizing a marijuana trafficking ring that stretched across 30 farms in 10 states.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I watched a little bit of that. There's like eight different shows just about, it's just like- Yeah, it's hard for me to watch. TLC's just like, here's fat people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you don't wear, have you seen those, uh, there's a guy in Shark Tank that had like a blanket that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the blanket we're talking about. Would you feel uncomfortable now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm guessing. Vermont? Yeah. Vermont was not one of the original 13?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was Giff. Well, the guy who invented it said it was Giff, so I trust him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Smucker's Owns, Jeff. Woah. Yeaah. Yeaah. That's deep. Yeaah. We were talking about that with Greg Warren. He was like, it's a little dicey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did. Is that why? I don't know. Trying to get that peanut butter folks out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you know, if anybody, any listeners work at the Jif Factory, we'd love to get a tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bring some peanut butter to the show. That's all I want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a guy hit us up, I didn't even know if I told y'all this, a guy hit us up from the Hardee's headquarters. Oh yeah. And their test kitchen is in Franklin, Tennessee. I love Hardee's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm not trying to squeeze this in our trip this weekend, but I'm saying for future reference, he said, come on by the test kitchen. You can try some stuff that hasn't even been rolled out to the menus yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just experimental stuff that hasn't, hasn't made the main menu yet. Cause they're always trying to rethink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Original recipe. Unbelievable. Did that start in Kentucky?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could have been actually in Cincinnati, you know? Yeaah. And they're trying to make it more authentic. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, exactly, but Kentucky Fried Chicken sounds better than


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good KFC out there. Have you guys seen this KFC logo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the KFC logo and somebody pointed this out online and now I can't unsee it. This is supposed to be his tie, but it sure looks like a little stick figure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's his head on top of his arms and legs right there. And it looks much different now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got some major companies coming out of Kentucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, is this the uh, Mandela effect question? Oh yeah, I've heard this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you listeners, when you think of the Fruit of the Loom logo. Oh, did I ruin it? No, I ruined it. I looked at it a little too quickly. But you listeners, when you think of the Fruit of the Loom logo, what are you visualizing in your head? What are you seeing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, C U R R A N T. Yeah. Okay. It's like a half cherry, half grape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tuggy's actually making a lot of my favorite stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So guy was trying to get an order of wallpaper and he, he didn't, he didn't put decimals in. He shipped it off and they, they came back really, really small and he was like, Oh, this is actually pretty useful. It was a shipping error.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Isn't that a much better story than the one I had? I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's one of those fun things, nobody knows who really invented that. And it's such a, they're everywhere. You know, it's a fun thing to say. And mean girls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the characters Gretchen Wieners said that her father invented toaster strudel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is in 2014 this happened. Where do you think they go when that happens?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it doesn't open up to the core of the earth. I mean, you know, they go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are built to the specifications in the Bible, right? Yes. So it's huge. Here's a picture of it. Pretty massive. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And did they build it the way that it would have been built in the Bible? Or do you think they used modern tools?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the story, doesn't he, when it happens, he opens up, he, doesn't he let all those people on after all, or do they? No, I don't know. Ah, I was thinking of Evan Almighty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can kind of see it. It's been, uh, it's overgrown with trees and stuff now, but you can kind of see it carved out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not this, not this meteor, right? It was just tectonic shifts. Okay. Over time, you know. And it made other mountains bigger? Well, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's about when the plates get pushed up, they get pushed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The great candy was erosion for millions of years, millions and millions of millions of years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a show for the Hopkinsville Police Department. Oh yea? I did their Christmas party, open for Chris Killian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was, so this was before, this could not have been, when, when were handheld cameras sort of readily available? I would say the eighties. Oh, okay. That late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but it wouldn't be like if this happened now, everyone, there'd be video and pictures of everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you weren't allowed to sing happy birthday in TV and film, do you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's one too. Oh, well you could still sing the regular happy birthday at a restaurant. It's not on TV. Yeah, it's not on TV and film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very cool. A lot of bats in there. You can see bats getting made. Okay. If anybody, if you know anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If anybody here works at the Louisville Slugger Factory, we'd love to take a tour of three of those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was way better. I didn't have just, just weighing me down with negativity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when, uh, you know, when your kid and your parent goes out of town. Yeah. Like this is awesome. But then after, after a while, you're like, I'd love to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to be with Dusty this weekend. Next weekend, I'm going to Omaha, Nebraska for the first time doing the Omaha funny bone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Watching some challenger footage this weekend, not to bring it back down, but pretty brutal to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I met that Mosier, Mosier Lauder. That dude's wild. He definitely knows a guy. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm here with Brian Bates, Dusty Slay and filling in for Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, today brought to you by Mizzen in Maine. So if you want the best cold weather clothing this holiday season, check out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Missing in Maine, right now if you go to Missing in Maine and use promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You will receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more. That is $35 off when you go to Mizzen and main M-I-Z-Z-E-N and MAIN.com and use our promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, get rid of useless subscriptions with Rocket Money now. Uh, are you wasting money on subscriptions? 80% of people have subscriptions they forgot about. Go to rocketmoney.com slash Nate. Seriously, it could save you hundreds per year. That's rocketmoney.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, welcome everybody, uh, glad to have you. Uh, we had an awesome, uh, uh, we can, we got Justin Smith here cause we said fill in for Aaron. Justin has a special out. Yeah. Yeah. Out on YouTube right now. It's doing so good too. Like it's awesome on all the social media.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that makes it fun. That's what makes it, you know, uh, It's the only part I remember. That's the only thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's great. And if you, you know- We're proud of it. Oh, thanks buddy. Go check it out. It's Coronation on, uh, YouTube. I've posted it. Uh, we're Nate Lane. We're posted. I think we did post it. We're posted it again now. Uh, so they can see it. But yeah, it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's in the mail. You know how eBay is. Yeaah. So. The chair was great. Yeaah. So great. Yeaah. I mean, it did fit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, the next thing. Also wanted to show you guys, uh, we had uh, Nick Rochelle, Eli and Zoe Cordell. They made this, uh, Eli and Zoe, Eli, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it's like, so it goes, it starts with A is for Aaron, the host of Aaron Lamb that airs, airs during Nate Land. The answer to a question that's never been asked, according to this, the best place to meet your spouse in the aughts was Applebee's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so like all stuff like that, it's just so cool. And like I was just like reading through it. It's just, J is for Justin Smith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fellow comedian and guest, it's also for Jason, a candidate on the Mount Rushmore of horror villains. And last but not least, it's for jokes of which there are plenty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah? I'll read this last one. Z is for Zanies, the home comedy club for the guys and the site of Nate's mural version 2.0. It's one of the last places you can find a cross section of all different types of people, backgrounds, races, religions can gather. It's America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think everybody's nice like that. I'm not on the Facebook group, but it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just awesome. It's, you know, nice little, nice little, uh, place where everybody can just be nice to each other and sweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Does that get it? Yeah. Uh, yeah, we, I met them, uh, or I've met them before. And then, uh, it was this weekend, uh, uh, uh, we're at, we're in Huntsville. Little baby baits. Yeah. Little pop-up appearance. Yep. Yep. That was fun. I was at the surprise appearance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was awesome. I mean, they were all awesome. And, uh, Little Rock and, uh, I mean, Huntsville, Little Rock, Mobile, Cape Girardeau. Is it? That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, this week I'll be in Charlotte. Charlotte and then, uh, some other places. I already forgot where I'm going. But, uh, but it's, uh, and then Midland, Texas, El Paso. Feels like you're by Midland. Yeah, I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, uh, yeah, the Huntsville one, the Huntsville show was great. And, uh, my wife's from there. My wife saw all these concerts there growing up. So it was cool to be back there, uh, or, you know, to be there and like, she, you know, went to all that stuff there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have an unreal green room. Uh, also very nice security guy, but it was very funny when I talked to him. I'm on stage with Harper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like, you know, four doors or anything and me and Harper just standing up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, talking and then the guy asked and I had this happen twice this weekend actually. Uh, but they, you know, they, not everybody knows. I got my hat on. I'm like this. So guys like, Hey, is this like a band? Like, you know, the people that work there, I don't think they, the way I can maybe not know a city, they don't really know. They're just going to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, he's like, do you know if this is like, got music or something? I was like, nah, it's a comedian. And he's like, oh, okay. And then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I was like, John, my god, hopefully he's good or, you know, you never know, like just whatever. And then he's like, ah, you know, he's very nice. And then I just, I was like, well, it's me actually. Uh, and then he's like, oh, okay. He's like, man, it's crazy. You comedy, like people, it's like hard to very sweet guy. I'm not trying to say this in a mean way, but it's like, do they don't, I feel like they don't know how to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk to comedians, which is fine. We're not like, I don't know, we're not like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, he did catch it. He goes, wow, man, I guess you're here. So beautiful. But it is, yeah, it was very fun. I was like, yeah, you know, try to bounce around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, hell it to me. Yeah, no, he was very, he was, he was great. He was cool. And then the next in, uh, Cape Girardeau too, we had some guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that were like helping, uh, and this, they were, uh, they have a good thing. It's called breaking bonds. And it's like, uh, I think it's for people that have struggled or had trouble in the past and they, and they get them straight. And then, so then they work and they find them jobs. So they're helping like set up the stage with our.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stage crew that we have that's our everyday one, then they come in and help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were all super cool. And then I talked to one guy, his kid comes over, he was 21.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, uh, same kind of thing. Y'all know what's going on here. Like whatever. And he was talking to me, Dustin Chafin, and Vic Young.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it's like, oh, we're comics, or you know what I'm saying, it's us. And then he's like, oh man, it's crazy. And he tells me, he's like, can I see some of your act? And we're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go, what? And he's like, just do some of, you know, he's like, you can't do any of it right here. And I go, like us just standing here. And I was like, nah, that's not going to be, that's going to be the worst dude. I was like, he goes, ah, he goes, and Dustin was laughing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. And I was like, ah, it's, you know, it's not gonna be, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, those are the, it is fun to make. It's a relief for them because they're like, I gotta be here either way. So good thing this seems fun. At least it's enjoying. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that kid was very, he's, he's straightened his life up. And so we were told how great that was and stuff, but it was funny that he was like, yeah, just do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And those guys were, when we left, they were like, great job, like they were cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would have, I would have introduced you as their success story. Yes. I'm, I'm broke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, fun weekend. You did, y'all have an er...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go up, yeaah. They're, yeaah, just standing on this stage, sounding music. I mean, how do you even get into it? How do you even, I didn't know they had another theater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are like, what are you doing here? You're like, I'm performing tonight. And they're like, okay. Who are you playing in Sound of Music? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they're still like producing. Yeah, but I, yeah, I think he still is. Yeah, he absolutely was. He blew me away for two hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do understand that, like posting the videos, like you can, you gotta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta be able to catch yourself to be an age to go like, all right, I need to probably not post. Cause it can, you can really show your age. That is true. I'm not saying he's doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he just does it and he doesn't, it's him. Uh, but it's, that is very true. Cause you can just post. I mean, he's always joked about you posting your camera, but you do. But that was like a mini joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When that said, you'd always have it too close to you. You have it like here. And it's like, you're, cause it, but if someone gets too old, it's like, yeah, you got to catch it. If you, you know, if you're like, I don't want everybody, you know, you're like, I don't want it to really look like, Hey, I don't know what I'm doing. Cause people are posting, there's ways that they do it now. And so I, I'd imagine, I guess, you know, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I would, in all the kids listening, remember social media is not real. I always just remember that. You see all these people post this stuff. These people have all these, it seems like everything, they show you, uh, Dub Davidoff, one of the jokes that he gives like this, social media, he said it shows a, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A moment of time, like it's a moment, it's not your life, it's not, it's just like a second of that day, like you know. And you hope kids remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish you would leave there. Fine. Just do it. And you go, Hey, that's one that I would catch is to like not say, all right, go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a big one. I think if you film something, it's like just nod. Don't, cause there's a lot of like, all right, go, Hey, what's up everybody? Like the person's it's like just point. Right. It like adds to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Two, one. I think now- Let's go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I always would want to, yeah, I don't, even we walk around filming stuff, uh, on the road. I mean, I get real uncomfortable, but even the, and, uh, where I'm just like, I don't want these, I don't want a camera following. Like it just feels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I don't, it's, yeah, yeah. I, that's the thing. I hope, you know, like I know a lot of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's like, if you ever feel sad, if you're on social media, like, it all goes back to social media. I think it's all because you're just looking. Because it is, you look at, I get annoyed, you look at it and you're just seeing, like, these, you know, because so many people just, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In it, they just, it's like almost like, like that's your friend. As you're just talking, when people talk and they're not looking at it, you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that's a lot. Like, you know, but I guess they get into that rhythm and it works. You know, they like it. If you like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you also can't, you just can't look at it and then think like, man, cause it looks like everybody's doing something. It looks like everything's happening for everybody. Just think about your one, even if you just thought about one thing in the morning, if I was like, just, we just posted podcast record, like, and then whatever, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anybody else that feels like they're doing nothing is like, God, I'm not doing anything today. They're doing that today. And you're like, no, no, no, dude, we might do this and then sleep for 20 hours. All right. Like it doesn't matter. Hashtag on the grind. On the grind. Yeah. Everything. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like the New Jersey gas pumps when you don't have to pump your own gas? Yeah, I guess so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, do they say raisin almonds? Is that how they say it? Like they go through school and you have a family, you have parents, you have two walnuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like it vibrates and they all fall off. Maybe that is the cleanest way for it to do it. Like, you know, you're not pulling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was in the place where they make containers this weekend. Okay, alright. You don't think about what goes in there. You just always see them. You don't see them with nothing on them. It's like, let's see from the beginning. Right. It's nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we'll start off with you guys, uh, with your comments. World Cup comments, I think we nailed it. Uh, also, I mean, do you have a vanity thing, do you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, I got a helmet from Coach Clark Lee, new helmet up there. Uh, he wrote a very nice note. I've not got to meet him yet, but I mean, I'm a giant fan and yeah, did not go our way, but, uh, I, I, I still love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where we're headed. And, uh, we had a lot of fun. Uh, World Cup comments. Jeffrey Shellquitz. Amazingly, they managed to know less about the World Cup and soccer than they did about physics. I love these guys. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been watching the World Cup. I watched the US, felt like we should have won that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we should, my brother, who does nowhere, like about, but like a lot of people were saying that our coaching was, it was, that we should have had a different game plan than what we did. It just didn't look, uh, yeaah, it looked bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we should have scored, there was like one up the top. It was like, I mean, I think everybody thought we should have beat that team. And then we would have played Messi, which would have been cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I like, it's like, I like the idea that soccer though, it's like just, it's, it's almost a little just, it's peaceful to watch. Like it's just kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, cause watching football plays does not work is the worst. Oh yeah. Just seeing just, you know, three runs and the guy gets a yard. Up the middle each time. Up the middle, tackled every time. And you're like, oh my gosh, dude, like this is awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I feel like they do a pretty, like the only thing with the World Cup is I agree too because that's what I was termed as soccer is like, you know, they're on the ground, they're screaming. They're like, you're like, oh man, I can't watch. You're like, I don't know who, cause they scream and you're like, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You try to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, then he gets up and runs, and you're like, well why did you scream? And it's like they're trying to draw all this stuff, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the World Cup, I felt like they, like it feels a little more like, we ain't putting up with, you know, they fall and they scream, but it's like, it feels like it kind of moves. Like it's like, yeah, yeah, we're just keep going. Right. Uh, but I do agree. Soccer, I think was known for being overly, Derek said they can, they can, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can, they can get you a card, a red card and then kick you out or something. Like if you over do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you're, if someone's flopping the whole time, and the NBA started doing like that kind of flopping where that stuff really hurts a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they might be, but, and we don't know. Yeah, let's bring more headbutts in. I'm for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell you what, these football players with their, I was just thinking they're getting, uh, injured, like our, uh, concussions or, I mean, dude, it feels like it happens every game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, I think we did show it. We did. We showed it in the World Cup thing. Oh, you talked about the headbutt thing? I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I've seen it, no, I've never watched it, but it's, uh, I need to watch it cause it was like, uh, it's him and a little girl, right? Yeah. I see it all the time. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, Gary open's in it. Gary open's like the best bad guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When some of you mentioned something right, I was getting super excited and feeling happy for you. That's what you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they couldn't listen to the World Cup upset because they were too, they're into the World Cup. Yeah, too involved. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're, I'm involved, I've watched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying everyone should watch every stage in its entirety, but watching the last hour or so does the job. I could see that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's if you understood it. It's like, it's like a lot of stuff. If you just, if I knew everything that was going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's there to know? I'm not thinking that's with soccer is like the leagues and even all that. Like I was talking to Chase or Merch about my son. Uh, he, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, he, I was talking to him about, uh, the, the leagues. I was like messing Ronaldo and like asking. It's, it is, it's like, there's a chimney, like it's hard to explain it or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and you know, like when do they play there? It's like Barcelona and Real Madrid play in this league. And I'm like, so they have a season or they have a chance? You know, it's like, it just, it's, it's, I think I would love it once I understood it, but it's just, you gotta have the time to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bill Bridgeforth and that was a hundred years ago, but Bill Bridgeforth. You guys didn't mention the best part about watching soccer. No commercials. They play an entire half without stopping. It's hard to go back to football and see the same ads every five minutes. I agree with that. I didn't realize that. That is a, that's a big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's straight up 45 minutes. So you like, I mean, well, in the added time or whatever, but it's like, that's only a few minutes, but it's, it's like just, it is nice to be like clock starts, game starts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, their jerseys are, there's ads going around the thing, but it's like, I'm, I'll be, I'd be like, I'd do that. I'll take it. I mean, the way NFL is like doing that half and half screen now makes me furious. Cause I feel like they just added more commercials. And so they're like, they can get away with it more. Like, oh, this counts. You're getting to show you both. You're like, uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty's wife's story about her childhood soccer team is essentially the plot of the movie Little Giant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, holiday shopping comments. You skipped one. Oh, one more. World Cup comments. Reena Camps, Reena Camps. Hey guys, I'm an American living in, in Qatar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Been here since 2018. Qatar is a pretty cool place and there's so much incorrect stuff floating around on the internet about it. Alcohol is available here. Wow. And has been for at least the last decade. It's not just sold as widely. It's just not sold as widely. Oh, it's just not sold as widely. Wildly. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Women can sunbathe at hotel beaches and even the beachfront neighborhood I live in. It's pretty, uh, pretty amazing living here. Nice people and so safe. Nate, you could come do a show here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, look at that. I'm in. I love it. Well, she didn't mention you, but, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, that's, that's great to hear. That is crazy. The alcohol is available there. Like how, it is just like, why are people, uh, it just feels like stuff gets spread around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I, and yeah, I'm every, everywhere's got problems. Everybody's got, but it's nice to hear that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, holiday shopping comments. The dot names dot rage. I've listened to Nate Land podcast since the first episode, but I laughed so hard during the most recent holiday shopping episode that I had an asthma attack and now plan only to listen to the podcast when I'm near my inhaler. All right. You gotta be careful. You gotta be careful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The non-fiction discussion hits on a sore point for me. Unsweet tea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It blows my mind that unsweet tea is a thing in our vernacular. No one took the sweet out of it, like skim milk. It's the original thing. I ordered a sweet tea for my wife and an unsweet for me and mine will be marked diet on the cup lids. As you can tell, this is a bit of a deal for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, oh, unsweet. But wouldn't it be just called tea? I think that's his point, right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, yeah, yeah. Like unsweet. Like you're taking the sweet out of you. Like, no, no, no, they're not. They're serving you the original iced tea. The original.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta know it's the environment. If you're in the south, you're going to have to say unsweet or sweet. Right. And then everywhere else you just say, I'd like an iced tea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty, so many times in this episode I want to reach you the screen and high five you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got commonalities. Alright, thanks Allison. There you go. I'll give you a high five. Can I do one for Allison? This is Allison's. You really pulled it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Played this for a few of them and they thought it was hilarious because it happens almost hourly. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to do this would be to go dig it in the hole and then take a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Ricky's got a badge. He's got a badge. Yeah. And they go, come on in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mason Downing, I was the haybear at Nate's Mobile show. I was waiting for my wife to leave the restroom and after making nice with security, I was offered a knife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can only assume it was Dusty's and our alternative needed. Thanks again for coming our way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are loving Ms. in her main dress shirts, uh, with how much...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We travel, it is good to have a shirt that is wash and wear with no wrinkles. Comedians are not known for packing everything neat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do love this shirt. It's, it is, it just hangs. It's a nice shirt to have that you could wear. I mean, you could go play, like I said, play football in it if you wanted to, but it looks great. I think it's important to look nice. I've, I've turned into that. I'm on that thing right now, even though I'm wearing a Sage Valley hoodie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that is what you have, uh, to go check out at Miz and Main, the inventors of the performance fabric dress shirt. Miz and Main combines the comfort and flexibility of our favorite athletic wear with the fit and style of a custom dress shirt. Basically, they make really comfortable dress shirts that you need to try to believe


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can tell you first hand, uh, shirts, like I said, they're, uh, the best and, uh, I wore them, I wore them on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the rest sure is that they are machine washable, which is great. It means no more expensive trips. Like I said, they're dry cleaners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, plus for the cold weather, they've got amazing flannels, pants, sweaters, and jackets made from that same Missing in Maine material that they have become famous for. So, if you want the best cold weather clothing this holiday season, check out Missing in Maine. Right now, if you go to MissinginMaine.com and use promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] mizzenandmain.com and use our promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get rid of useless subscriptions with the Rocket Money now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laura and I found out that we had a couple double subscriptions, so it was great that Rocket Money noticed that. I think I have even more. I've got to look at it again. I feel like I'm adding some in. So I need to go run through a nice Rocket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Money. Uh, do you know how much your subscriptions really cost? Most Americans think they spend around $80 a month on subscriptions when the actual total


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is closer to $200 plus. That cutting the cord gets expensive. Everybody thinks they do it. And you're like, oh, I'm saving money. And then you're like, you got money going who knows where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you could be wasting hundreds of dollars each month on subscriptions you do not even know about. There is this app I love using that takes care of that for me. It is called Rocket Money, formerly known as True Bill. The app shows all your subscriptions in one place and cancels what you do not want for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and cancels what you did not want for you. Rocket Money can even find subscriptions you did not know you were paying for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get rid of useless, useless subscriptions with Rocket Money now. Go to rocketmoney.com slash Nate. Seriously, it could save you hundreds per year. That is rocketmoney.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I got, that was very hot. That's not like you. No. Usually you're cold. I'm usually cold. Uh, but that, the sweatshirt stage, it's a great sweatshirt, but it's like, it's a hot sweatshirt. And I had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, some sweatpants kinda on that were, can be hot. Kinda on. And uh, I had them on the whole way. I pulled them up actually cause I was hot. And I was just too hot. And I was like, man, I'm not gonna make it. So I changed it up. All that guitar top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have this MIT hat, and uh, I was given this, I forget the, uh, young lady's name, but she said she listened to a lot of, uh, she was, I think this podcast, it was a lot of my comedy, uh, when she was trying to, and she graduated from MIT. Wow. So she would listen to a lot of it, uh, and she said it's very nicely, helped her get through it, and I just thought it was very cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm in, I'm in my teeth. All right. MIT material. I'm in my teeth, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Brainiacs here. MIT, it's like, uh, M-1-5. What's the thing from Impossible? Mission Impossible? Yeah. She's one of them now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She is? No, I don't know. Isn't that called MI5? I think, yeah, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. What's all like the British intelligence? Yeah. Yeah. It starts with MIT.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. So she passes, she goes to MIT, she made it, got the T, one day she'll get to a 5. Yeaah. Just go to numbers. Gotta do it several times. So she finally gets to Z, and then they go, welcome to the numbers. Yes. MI5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this week, uh, we're talking about a very fun topic, World War II.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a few birthdays too. Big J birthday. Okay. I want to say Patrice O'Neill's birthday was the 7th. Uh, but Ryan, uh, his birthday. And, uh, Wayne. And I talk about them in the special Wayne Denton. The Dentons, his birthday. A lot of December 7th birthdays. That's great. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Chopsticks. Chopsticks. How they don't see, he goes, you know, you don't see a guy out there in the farm, two pool cues. He goes, I mean they got shovels. They don't see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Do you know why? I mean, I, I think I know that cause I watched or I did, there's something, was it something to, uh, with, uh, uh, Germany or like, was it trying to, they were trying to, they were in on it together to try to take over the world? Why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically- I sign my name with my big toe. You don't get that? Like when I kick, I go sign it. Yeah, they miss it. They miss it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't come up with the words for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we didn't get to go out there, but we saw where it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's wild. Yeaah, I mean the whole thing, it's very wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, and they can almost, they can barely carry...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how you do it. That's what I would, I would say that in the meeting. Open a window. You don't need a, they're like, well, how much is refrigeration going to cost? Open a window. 20,000 feet up in the air. Minus 50 up in the air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Then I do a fist bump with the guy next to Roosevelt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I imagine there's one guy during this meeting that, uh, is, you know, thinks it's stupid. And so as we're having a serious conversation, he's just like, why don't you call Batman and see what he thinks. Idiots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Making it, you get to that point of frustration that goes, just do the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they, you know. What do you mean? Your frustration of just these, you probably months and doing this bat doesn't work. And you go, what do you want us to do? He goes, I got one that does the whole thing. No bat. We can put a bat on it if you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say it again, just real quick. All right. Amelia is the new intern, uh, helping. Thank you, Amelia. Yes. I don't want to mess up her, you know, this is her first thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, let me, cause now I can't quit thinking about how funny it is that someone's listening and they're like, they gotta listen to multiple times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God bless all y'all that listen to this podcast, cause I, it can't, uh, part of the podcast can't be, we hear, they have to say it a few times. That's the part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah. At least. Yeaah. Start now. So click it now. I click it a couple times. We're saying Brian has 30 seconds to re-explain it. Okay. So click, click 30 seconds. Ready? Brian, go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a guy out there sleeping on the beach? He just sees it. He goes, I think so, maybe you should check it out. I don't know, maybe he's got a notice pocket and he just takes it off right away. Make sure you send the message out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why did they turn the guy back to Britain, even if they did find him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it didn't work. It did work. Oh, it did work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was a wild man. I don't know much about him, but yeaah. He's like a wild man. I mean I know who he is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. That, and I wonder if, uh, like I wonder if he took that, did he take it well? He wasn't happy about it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, they're the greatest generation, but it's like, it's like we tell them that and they just had to, I'm saying it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy to like say that and that's all they really got. They're like, oh, thanks, man. You're like, we thank very highly of you. And you're like, yeah, it was miserable, dude. Like, and we're like, well, we'll call you the greater generation. How about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, um, I'm sure then they caught all the leaders on their cars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, and that was D-Day. Uh, next up, Mayor...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be, so they did ask everybody and nobody was doing it. Yeah, most people weren't honoring it. And then they made it a law, so then they made new signs. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's always, it goes to the, you're asking, yeah, it's like, what about the people making the cars?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's the thing, it's like, you're always like, you're like, those people have to go like, alright, so I gotta drop 30 miles an hour, I can't have tires, blah, blah, blah. And then you're like, would you get a discount for like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tires or do you get like just something? Cause the people making it still make the money, right? Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when I made those signs, I mean, those signs, no one brought that, those signs, you don't just, you have to go get them, throw them away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would he always just vote for the opposite person just to keep business going?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then all the, the, the wives complain to their husbands, getting shot in the shoulder. They go, you think you had a rough day. Uh, today I was at work. As the wood, like they start complaining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Suzy was just bam-ba-bam-ba-bam. And the husband's like, I mean I was like almost killed by like, people came out of a tunnel. And it was like pretty wild. But what happened?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why you almost gotta be like, they're the best baseball players of all time. For him to have all the records and, like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, she got a haircut before this and the, the top of it was crooked. Cause we went, they went to like PetSmart and uh, and the top was just like, so the past like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has all the records and we just imagine you'd have even more. Oh yeah. And you had to fight. And that's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A very beautiful thing though, like I was making fun of the women working that, but it is, it's very, it'd be very prideful to go, you go into places and you see women working and the women on the field and you're like, man, that's, it's like the country like just coming together, it's gotta be pretty special. That's something you don't feel like you, it's hard to feel that now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to fill that back then would be, I mean, pretty power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's crazy to think they go, like if you're that, like, well alright, what do you want to move it to? Arizona or something like that? They go, no, no, no, I want to, let's get out of here. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, just, hopefully they did it for each other. They took our batteries at each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was he on their side? I think so. Do they know, like how did that even, yea, how does that even happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's crazy. That's, so they came, so what, yeah, cause there's a documentary or something on Netflix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a very, that's a very weird thing. Like it's, uh, cause it's like, so if he's the leader of the Nazi party, that's like being...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that is, it like, for what that party did, it is crazy that you're like, these dudes just don't, like, you know, it makes you think the government obviously doesn't care. If you're like, if you're going to use, I mean, we're using the guy. You're like, well now we use him. And then you're like, but now he's named stuff to Afrim and then you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know anything about this, like they're, so they could live there and people, what in the temperature is? In hollow earth? Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they, but you're supposed to dig a hole if you're out in the, uh, get stuck out in the wilderness, you dig a hole and lay to the ground. No, no, they tell you, did they tell you to lay to the ground or you lose your heat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, this is saying, like if you were stuck out in the, like just get lost, stuck in the wild, you need to lay on leaves and stuff. Cause otherwise all your heat will go to the ground. You'll be much more colder. So you need some kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think that's the way it goes. Yeah, it seems like it makes sense. And then, you know, so yeah, if it would get colder, it's true. I wonder how far, but if you go way down and if you go to a rock quarry and be like, does it feel hotter? That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But a cave stays the exact same temperature, and it's never, it's not hot, but it's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like 70 or something or 68. So it does not get colder if you go to a cave. Like you can go to a cave, it's always the same temperature. Right, like at night it's not colder at night than it is at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So by the way, your definition of hot could be, it's not lava.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the Nazis. There was a rumor that the Nazis had a deathwreck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then the Nazis started fighting Germany.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You said, you said this so they defeated German? Germany?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think he said the Nazis invented it, then they defeated Germany. That's what I think I get confused about. That didn't make sense. So there was no death rate. There was no death rate, but there was a rumor. Oh, the British got a rumor that the Nazis made a death rate. So then they, then the British, I didn't catch that. So the British then said, you go make


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We go make our own depth. That's right. So they were trying to invent it their own. But then they made radar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. Yep. Yeah. From a hundred paces. Sheep don't move quick, so you can keep it there for a while. You know, if it's something fast, you'd be a ton of pace, not 200 paces, it's already gone. But a sheep, you're like a ton of paces, it'll be there for most of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like crazy. Oh, that's why the British, they used...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, oh, and everybody else said meters. So people get mad at us and we're like, it ain't our fault.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, yeah, what if we do a, just some big, long name? And then he goes, I don't like the name, death ray. Yeah. All right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably a good place to stop. Very good place to stop. Yeaah. The old death race. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Justin special, go check it out. Coordination. It's out right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to YouTube, we'll post the link. Uh, it's a great special buddy. You've been killing it on the road too with me. So it's been, uh, yeah, go check his special out. Uh, I, uh, I will be, uh, in, uh, Charlotte this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and some other places. Go to my website, everything's on there. Midland Texas, I'll pass some Texas runs. Toronto, coming for New Year's Eve, and then all next year. All on tour. Uh, where are you guys?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] January 6th. Do you have a private event or do you have company Christmas party on it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. Uh, all right. As always, we'll welcome Aaron back next week. I was glad this worked out though. Uh, Justin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetti and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been kind of fun. A three loss team. We're out of the playoff hunt. Is this what it feels like being a Vanderbilt fan all the time? Where it's like, let's just ruin other people's seasons. That's the best we can hope for. It's kind of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, that's what you're playing for. Let's go out there, let's, let's ruin somebody else's season. That's almost as fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many shows did you do? Three. Yeah. Three shows total.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was awesome. But I wanted to ask you guys, I have a question about airplane etiquette. Yeah. For the three of you guys. I love it. Okay, so I'm flying up there to Minneapolis, and it's me and Joe Kelly who's doing the shows with me. Nobody in the middle seat, Southwest, we're flying. And it's the only empty seat on the plane, so I'm thinking we lucked out, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then last second, the squirrely dude runs onto the plane and sits right between us. Okay. He's twitchy and he's weird and you're like, whatever, we'll just deal with it. And immediately, dude, I just start to, I mean, he,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Horrible smell. So bad that I made an audible noise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't help myself. Yeah, enough. Like in enough category. But I look down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got his shoes off, no socks, and the shoes he's wearing are like first communion shoes. I don't know a better way to, they're like black, like church, yeah, kind of shoes with no socks. It has got his feet off and it smells horrible, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole side of the plane could spell him. I just wonder what y'all think about that. If it's, I feel like socks, socks on is one thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But bare feet, smelling horrible. He probably just sprinted to the plane. His feet are sweaty. Oh yeaah. Smelled that the whole flight. Yeaah, I'm against it. Yeaah, I'm against everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm talking about if the, if the goal is to leave the middle seat open, is to have that middle seat open next to you, you can't go exit row. Because people will sit there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my concern has always been about horizontal room, less so about leg room. You know, I can do fine with regular leg room. But I'd like to have, be able to put that arm rest up, nobody there in the middle. That's ideal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't go after the exit row? No, because I always think somebody's going to get that middle seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this guy was real thin and twitchy and weird. Yeah, sounds like something was wrong with him. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is why you've always said comedians should break the news at like doctors offices and stuff cause they could find a way to do it. You could find a way to do this. It wouldn't hurt their feelings that bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a certain point, I'm like, it's just, the breaths were tough because of how, I mean, it was a thick, a thick smell coming off his feet. No one said, how long was the fight? Hour and a half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it were, if it were a four hour flight at a certain point, I would have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the flight attendant comes on and goes, we've got a mother and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her son was about six or seven and they're really looking to sit together. So if anybody could volunteer to move so that these two could sit together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he kind of looks around and one guy is just like, I'll do it, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, so he moves, and then the fight, and he goes, I just want to say one thing. Uhm, we all love Southwest here. And, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm told I'm the face of the company, but the real face of the company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I see Larry David in the wild, I want to see him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the wall. I wanna see him being very bad in the wall. I wanna see him snapping at somebody, calling somebody out for something. That's what I would wanna see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this all being said, I think if Brian did win the lottery and had a bunch more money than you, all of a sudden he would not handle it with a lot of grace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he gonna give it to him eventually? Like in his will or in a trust or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like an asterisk. Yeah, I disagree. We're all doing it. We're all begging trash games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I think a better analogy is the sticky substances, the pictures. Everybody was using that. Not everyone was using cameras to. And it cost money to go to college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I did truly spoil the book for him, I do feel bad because that was a big thing that I spoiled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I get that why I do feel bad if I did that. But there are, there's other stuff that I didn't spoil that will still surprise you at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't bring the witchcraft in, you know what I mean? Uh, I mean. It's about good and evil, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know if it warped it. It did make me, uh, appreciate, you know, the battle of good and evil and things like that. But I'm saying though, now you're lying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, some can be good, some can be bad, just like every, just like everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your brother's really into it. Is anyone else at this table?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just baseball and football? Pretty much? Basketball? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are you laughing? Cause it's a girl. No, not cause it's a girls. I just, I haven't seen it. I've heard the name, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, spoken like a European. All the most important things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool applied to something else. You know? I would say that about football or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, this sounds like a government, a government hit and they're covering it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just refuse to believe that. I don't know if I believe that. I think you're flipping by and you look at it for a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tour de bicycle pedal. It doesn't dip into Spain or anything at one point. Well, I don't know that, but I might. That's just around France.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Consists of 21 stages over the course of 23 days. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is anybody glued to their TV watching 23 days of the Tour de France?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, uhm, there has to be. Well, a few, but yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 2004 it was LeBron and Carmelo Anthony when they were all young guys. And Dwyane Wade. And Dwyane Wade when they were young, new players.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2008, they were all veterans and they brought Kobe in. Brought in Kobe. It's really cool. It was pretty cool when they brought in Kobe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why not do two points for a win, one point for a tie, and zero points for a loss?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for every win a team earns three points and a tie earns one point. Teams do not get a point for a loss. Okay. So it was kind of, we were both right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tiebreakers are determined by a goal difference, then goals scored and finally the head to head matchup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a, a pair of binoculars that were fake. Oh yeaah. Fill up with liquor. Bring that into the game. And there were spotters that their whole job was just to catch kids doing exactly that. Oh really? They would just sit there in the crowd and look and then they'd rat on you. And so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was just so funny. Who brings actual binoculars to a college football game? I don't think anybody does. I think we would do that. Do they work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The chants and the songs, that is one part I really like about soccer culture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Singing a song in the crowd. I love that. There needs to be more of that in a football game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I believe it, but I'm saying that that, I cannot tell you what Pele looks like now. But I know what the Beatles look like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see there's more of a cultural appetite for it than people are going to be more willing to sink resources into it and people are going to. It's so important to them. It's going to be ingrained in people young.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, the argument always is, and I'm sure people disagree with this, but people always say, I always heard this growing up, that America's best athletes don't play soccer. They play other sports.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, LeBron was a goalie or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, that's the conversation. Those three guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He played in America towards the end of his career. He got brought over and played in the MLS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian's trying to drag this out because there's about 50 seconds of context for this. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To me, that's pretty clear as he untouched it, right? Yeah, but it was God, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just for some comparison, so we just said that Ronaldo has 500 million followers on Instagram. Lebron has 137 million. Wow. And Instagram is the only thing that matters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They made sure to get a picture of him before they told him. That's so funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't they send sometimes celebrities from those cities to go pitch their country?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying, okay. Yeah. So are you going to ask Nate to make a pitch for Nashville?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just don't think you or anybody has the bandwidth to follow multiple sports.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As closely as you would like college football. Like can you really bring


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This weekend, Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas. I'm doing the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The cabaret room there. Come and check it out. Then I got a bunch of shows coming up, Wichita, Indianapolis, Huntsville, Birmingham, and that's the end of the year. San Diego too. So come see him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you to Viore for sponsoring NateLand. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vioreclothing.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75. More on that later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Kmart was before Walmart, wasn't it? I think Walmart became Kmart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it's still there or not, but I've bought many appliance from Sears Scratch and Dent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think someone was worried. This has probably come out after the special, but they didn't want you to play a lot of golf before the special. They didn't want your hands to look orange on the special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When George is dating the lady with the big salad and she's talking about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that scene made me think of you and Nate. Oh, that's right. That would be us character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I'm the perfect person because most people on there are people on the downside of their career who don't even want to do it. You need someone who never had a career because we're excited and we want to do it. So I really get into them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've raised my rates and promised that Nate would also wish them a happy birthday. So if I just throw in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a, uh, a gender reveal. Can you imagine finding out the gender of your kid from me? They'd be like, what's the gender of the guy telling us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll say this about Dusty. If you know who he is, you're going to spot him. Cause when we were in Huntsville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could put a hat on and maybe not even get recognized, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was with Leanne recently and two people in front of us had her back to us, recognized her just from her voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To her to listen to, but they'll stop every two or three songs to do a Geico commercial and it's your voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So right when she's about to get to sleep, you're just here with Geico. We, so she knows your voice. You do Geico commercials? I did, I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We watch a, uh, baby sensory thing on YouTube called Hey Bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that is one of the last cartilage that gets formed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying they don't have knee caps, but I think that's one of the last parts that forms. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole podcast crew loves their Viori. We all got a few new items to add to our favorites. Winter time is upon us. Now we can start pulling those out, enjoying them. Viori's new outlook on performance apparel. Perfect if you're sick and tired of traditional old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Workout gear. Nate travels with his. He's on the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ryori can be worn for just about any activity like running, training, yoga.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also great for just lounging or weekend errands. You can wear it on a plane errand, you don't have to wear jeans anymore. Just wear Viori. It's so comfortable, you'll want to wear it all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off of your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Vioriclothing.com slash Nate. That's V U O R I clothing.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Go to VioriClothing.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viori clothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this one we were talking about physics. I googled physics and I'm like, I don't understand what I'm reading. So then I googled physics for kids and I still didn't quite understand what I was reading, but it seems like it has a lot to do with gravity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a very fun video from like the 1970s of some beach whales that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I died and they couldn't move them out to the ocean, so they had to set up dynamite and blow them up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the people came out to watch and the news crew was there and they miscalculated the explosion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this is, uh, you got that pulled up. Uh, so a few episodes back, we talked about Aaron and how he looks so different next to the Notre Dame offensive lineman. Someone, well, someone first posted this photo of, uh, of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but then people also send in some celebrity. Well, there's the, there's, uh, there's the rock and Mark Wahlberg next to Shaq and Barkley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like two men's corner. Cambridge is a big win. They just roll it until.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I've heard of, uh, Zagallalea who went up in the bleeding tower of Pisa and dropped two things at the same time. So they're doing basically that, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean you're always gonna... If you're away from any objects...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's really, really hard and expensive to get to outer space. So what Jeff Bezos did was kind of a hodgepodge of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could float a little bit, but you're not truly outer space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I don't know. I don't think so. He sent a car up there. Richard Branson did something similar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like we learned how to do anything from what we already have. God created stuff and then we learned how to do it our own way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they were taking volunteers for some Mars thing where you don't get to come back and thousands of people are registering for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty school. I like this quote. This is from a physics professor, Nef Weber. Physics explain laws that govern God's creation. I think that's really cool. Nef Weber?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that your grandfather? Yeah, for sure. No, I knew it was your grandfather. I was going to say it. What did he say? Is it? He was a physics professor, right? He was, yeah. Oh, we're getting more to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Old Naff. Old Naff, dude. Yeaah. That's a cool name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a video on YouTube from Nef Weber of your brother Michael


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Graduating inside your house, your dad gave him a diploma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there, you are dressed in a lime green shirt and a green tie and green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shorts. For the graduation ceremony. Oh I don't remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda look a little silly. Okay. The way he described it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the one thing I know about physics that I've heard is an object in motion will stay in motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you hit a golf ball, it's going to keep going until it hits a tree or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think happens Dusty when things fall? They're just heavy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw an example of this when, when I was, so in golf, if you swing a club at the exact same speed, that's the acceleration, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you hit a ball with iron, and then you hit one with a driver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The driver's, the mass is bigger, right? So the force will be more. Is that correct?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did read where golf uses more physics than any sport cause launch angles and speed and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even a golf ball, they said the dimples, a ball would go further through the air than a smooth ball because of friction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because of physics, they shave all body hair, they wear swim caps to cover their heads, and cover much of their bodies with a specially designed swimsuit that mimics shark skin for better hydrodynamics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you ever mentioned the third wall. No, we're about to get into the wildest one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you punch the wall easy or punch the wall hard, you're going to hurt your fist. I don't believe that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Punch a wall easy, then punch it hard. It's gonna be hard on your hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's one I have on general, Einstein's general relativity that talks about, uh, how the earth


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is spinning a thousand miles per hour and it's going around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour, but we can't feel it. Right? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's because it's moving at a constant speed at all times. So if something's moving at a constant speed, you don't feel it. An example it gave, if you're on a train,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This move at 100 miles per hour, you throw a ball up in the air, it's gonna come back down to you. But that ball's still moving at 100 miles per hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thousand miles an hour. Spinning a thousand miles an hour and then going 67 miles an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can be on an airplane though, that's going 600 miles per hour. There's no turbulence or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I guess my point is you can- And they're not real. Go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can be moving 600 miles an hour and it could feel like you're not even moving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to see what this is all about. Well, I have no idea if this is going to work, but this is something I read online. Some of these drinks should float. Some of them should not. You guys want to guess before we do it? I'm betting diet floats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I meant to get regular Pepsi, but I grabbed it too fast. I don't know, wild cherry might be a variable, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, do you want to try it, Nate? I do enjoy a wild chair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if the tub was bigger, I think that one would float. It would float upside down. That's kinda half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not enough water? So far this has been great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it doesn't have sugar. Sugar is denser than water, so regular soft drinks are denser than water, but diet drinks are less dense than water, so therefore they float.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I had like a big laugh and as the laugh was going, I was like dabbing my head with the sweat towel. I was like, oh, this feels fun. I feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even have, I mean, God forbid something happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, lotta busy lives out here. And Factor is the perfect mealtime solution for the on-the-go lifestyle. Their fresh, never-frozen meals are delivered ready to heat and eat in two minutes. Or, cold even faster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I can fuel up fast and get on with my day. Head to go.factor75.com slash nate130 and use code nate130 to get $130 off across six boxes. That's code nate130.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I wish that's as rare as we drank it, but I mean, you know, when you live in a trailer, you don't, it's not, a lot of times it's not because you don't have money. It's cause you don't know how to spend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, we had some money, but we were, you know, buying a candy bar and a Mellow Yellow every day. And then, you know, paying for cavities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My best friend growing up had a two-story brick house. He had about five Nintendo games. I had about thirty. His mom drove a minivan. My mom drove a Thunderbird. You know what I mean? So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like is it breezy? Is it chilly? I went to his house during tornadoes, but I was able to bring video games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't have mental breaks. Like I've tried that with like memorizing, like if I'm trying to rehearse for like the tonight show or something and I know the material, but I'm like, I want to really nail it. So I'll do it over and over again. You say it so much that I'm like, I don't even remember the joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I just had some luggage break, the wheel broke off that I just bought, so I took the wheel off and I took it into the store and I go, hey, I'd just like to get a replacement for this. And they're like, you gotta bring the whole bag in. You can't just bring the wheel. I'm like, well, it seems like so much easier to just bring the wheel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then my wife was like, probably no one's taken the wheel off the luggage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that was it. TGIF was, I mean yeaah. Yeaah, TGIF was, that was huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, commercials are so hard for me. It's like I watch NFL red zone and then you flip to an actual game and you're like, oh man, so many commercials.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, to be fair, I did just add NFL red zone the other day. So, I finally reached a place where the $9.95 a month is okay. I can do it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Thanks to this podcast, I'm able to do the extra 9.95. That's why we're here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sports wise. So, once it's gone, I'll cancel cable altogether.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. I love athletic greens, but you know what? I also love factor. This is why I like factor because it comes ready to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? It's just in a little, uh, you know, in a little package and then it sits in the fridge. It's not frozen. My wife can heat it in the microwave if she wants and maybe she does that when I'm not around, but I like the oven and you could put this also in the oven in about two minutes or you could eat it cold, you know, just right away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which is my favorite joke about the whole thing, but you can't do that, but it's also great. Cause my, my daughter's there and my wife has to make food for my dog. But with this, she could just pop it open. They can share one meal and, uh, be done. And it's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Factor now offers 30 plus meals per week and 33 plus add-on options like smoothies, juices, and snacks. And my wife loved the smoothies. I had one, I was like, this is great. I thought she would never drink them. I came home, I was like, hey, where's those smoothies? She's like, I drank them all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when things get extra busy, uh, factor is flexible. You can change your order up to every week with plans from four to 18 meals per week or pause or reschedule your deliveries anytime. Factor equals free time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Head to go.factor75.com slash nate130 and use code nate130 to get $130 off across six boxes. So instead of spending hours after you get home running around the store and the kitchen, they'll deliver ready-made meals right to your door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting rid of all that meal planning prep and clean up time and it's cheaper than takeout. That's code nate130 at go.factor75.com slash nate130 for $130 off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not catching that one. No, I think that could be a real name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But still, I'm like, you know, you had several movies with Vicky Valencourt, uh, uh, Victoria Vinnit, uh, Veronica Vaughn. So I'm just, you know, I'm wondering why. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm wondering if, you know, maybe Adam Sandler had a girl that he had a crush on that was double V's in, in high school and middle school and it's just his shout out, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the world today, right? You ask a question and somebody's like, Oh, just Google it. And I'm like, what? You know, let's just have conversation. Let's enjoy the topic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And hey, uh, Walker Zimmerman is a player on, on the, you know, the national soccer team. Oh, I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wrapped it in tape. Well, one of my sister's boyfriends brought me a little duck, a little baby duck, and I chased it around the trailer all day. We had a great time. And that was it. And it died that night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of exhaustion? I guess so, but a lot of animals died, you know, as pets of mine in a trailer park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some random guy has ripped it from its family and brought it to me as a pet to try to, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But all these guys are like music superstars that make up the Eagles. Yeah. You know, so I'm like, how mad are they at the LA music scene?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. They have a song, they committed murder on music row and I think they're kinda talking about the state of country music, but that song was probably out in the early 2000s, late 90s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're the two biggest stars in the world. Yea, and then they make music for another 20, 30 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was like literally, yeah, literally shot him in the heart. I was supposed to open for trace at the Missouri state fair and then it was storming so we couldn't do the shovel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is, you know, and then he got married like two more times after that. He's like, I'll keep doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This must be reassuring for your dad though to write this comment to be like, alright, he never did those things. Yeah. Good job. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the idea that Jamie Pressley is the same character from Joe Dirt. This is just her life that we don't see. Yeah, I like that. I can see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just like the idea that we only see her a little tidbit in that movie, so this is her real life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, maybe not. Yeah, okay. Maybe not. Yeah. Yeah. They called it that. Yeah. But we don't know. The neighborhood. The neighborhood. Yeah. He's robbing the neighborhood. Yeah. That's true. Wonder what his middle name is. Korsak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to work at Office Depot and then I would, they, they had all these packs of 12 pens and I would open them and take one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, I thought it was a real victimless crime. And then my friend was like, yeah, somebody, some kid right now is probably getting whooped at home for losing one of those pens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I thought, oh man. So I really felt bad about it. And I'm not, I'm not for stealing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the box. It was a little box. All you had to do was open the box and pull one out of there. But you know, I thought, well, I'm poor and this corp, this is a major corporation. I only ever stole a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now I feel bad about it. I don't steal at all. I can't do it. I don't support it. That's good, man. Even to steal from Walmart to give to someone else. It's like, if you want to be charitable, buy it and then give it to them. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't be like, Oh, I'm giving you this, but it didn't was really no sacrifice on your end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is tough when that happens. You know, you don't like someone and you see something and you go, dang it, now I like a person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, see that's my situation in a sense, right? Cause I lived with my mom, my mom lived in a trailer, uh, and that was who I lived with. So I applied for this Pell grant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were like, well, we need your dad's, you know, info too. But my, you know, my dad had more money, but my dad was not paying for me at all. So I'm like, well, he's not helping. Why are you needing his info? And so it's like, if I could have been like, oh, he's not around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe I could have, I don't know. Now I'm reading this, I'm like thinking he-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want people that know me to be like, no, I know your dad. You were there a couple of weeks ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I don't know. That's just, I remember them doing that to me and I was like, and there was no one around me going, oh, just do this or this. I was just like, okay, then I think they have to be very


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was wild, but it is spooky. Yeah, it terrifies me. I don't want any part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause if you got somebody that you just couldn't handle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it would drive you, uh, it's like, yeah, obviously being alone is bad. And if you could get someone that you really like, great, it's a win. But if you got somebody you hate it. It's such a gamble. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he keeps trying to get you to sign up for things. You're like, uh, no, no, he's like, no, I know a way to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or, or like Charles Manson, he seems like a fun guy. You know what I mean? But he also convinced people to kill people. So you're like, I don't necessarily want to be friends with this guy because, you know, he may get in my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never seen the movie. Oh yeaah. It was good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, come on somebody, why don't you run.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All that's in a song. I'm surprised you don't know that song. I don't know a lot of modern country. That's Blake Shelton's like. I don't think it's, that's super modern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, gotta get somebody that will support ya, and you'll be like, I'll, you know, I'll cut the grass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've had quite a few friends get out of jail and they're like, you know, and it's fine. I like hanging out with them, but I'm not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just like, like, when I'm in the airport, right, sometimes, you know, you go through all the security, and then you're sitting in there, and then, after we're through all the security, we're sitting, they come through with the dog, and the dog's smelling all the bags, and I'm like, so did the other stuff we just did, you're not, you're not sure that's working? You know what I mean? It's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is it that you got a dog smelling bags if I've just gone through security?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I worked at a restaurant and they had, they said, had a sign that said, if you, if your drinks don't appear on the receipt, you know, let us know and you'll, you'll get $20. And that was the, the restaurant's way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had a table one time, something happened and I never, you know, because I knew I could get fired. So I was like, something happened with some drinks and I was like, here, I'll just give you this one and I'll not charge you for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you know, and then Bartender calls me and he goes, Hey, there's some people down here trying to get the 20 bucks. And I went down there and they go, Oh yeah, we just thought you didn't charge us. We thought we won. I go, no, you're going to get me in trouble. They were like, Oh, sorry. And then they left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the bartender was, no, I was upstairs. The bartender was my friend and he called me on the, on the restaurant phone. Yeah, he was trying, he was trying to not get me fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is hard when the table pronounces something wrong, and you know the right way to pronounce it, but now you have to repeat the order back to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I struggled with what, euros? Because the first time I went to New York City, I pointed in the menu and the guy goes, the gyros. And I'm like, is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how it is. That is gyros. And then everybody says euros. I thought it was gyro. Or hero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a movie, uh, called Get the Gringo with Mel Gibson. I don't know if you've seen that. And, uh, I thought it was a good movie, but the prison that he's in, I don't know if that's accurate, but it seems like it's almost like he's in a small city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The president is like there's just things going on in there but you just can't leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the food slot's so big you can get your head through, I imagine that if you can get your head through it, the rest of the body's not that hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, oh, I have killed a guy. I've gotten away with that. Maybe the cold fries is not that big of a deal after all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, keep it hot. Keep it hot. I mean, what are you doing? Yeah. Why are we here? There's murderers trying to eat too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soon. Soon. Soon. Yeah. Yeah. I look forward to a dusty town. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, an old, wild west type village. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone said that maybe the Pell, Mr. Pell had died, I believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'll be at the Greenville, South Carolina Comedy Zone this weekend. I just was in Jacksonville. I wanted to show this, this little girl made a card, too dusty from Elizabeth, and she said, uh, hello, I watch you in the Nate Land podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then she drew a picture of me. Oh, that's awesome. She says, Hey bear, and we're having a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, you gotta be careful how much you want it because then they'll like, jack the price up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be fun to have it on the table and talk about it. Yeah, I would have loved to. It would be, you get it, we can put it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People yell hey bear at me and if I don't do it back, they're like, it's like, they're like, did you hear me? Did you hear me? Hey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they don't, I'm not, I don't mean like in the store, you know, on the shows. Oh yeaah. I just feel like if people do, like, if I'm...