[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The lights again went out. Again they flicked back on. Again Patar yawned. Uuuh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy flav, said one of the tech guys. Patar heard nothing. For the first time in three years, there were no zeros, no ones. Had Nebesh died? Was it over? He's, he's gone, said the tech guy. Patar's blood ran cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Impossible! Impossible! She ran out of the van. In the street, a thousand other investigators and lawyers, all staring at the apartment. Then up at the sky, as a sleek black vessel soared into the upper atmosphere. She blinked a few times, her brain and an idea were having a serious fight right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The tape! Run back the tape! The last five minutes, she shouted, diving back into the van. They looked at the footage. Same old Nebesh and his binary droning. What's he saying? Run it, she said. The tech guy punched in the numbers and the computer spat something out. Something meaningful this time. Not a recipe. Not a sitcom. A 753 character code. It had to be the code to the force field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the tech guys starting to tremble raised his hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She began tearing the van apart, ripping up the seats, the monitors, the fabric of the roof. That's where she found a tiny bugging device and a tiny cable that led out into the street. She followed it, pulling it up as she went. It had been glued down to the pavement, tucked into the cracks. It went its way across the busy road to a shop. Small market. There was a neon sign over the door. It said simply, bodega.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It may have a bed. You could say that it was a spare room in our house that was converted into an office. It has a bed if I grow weary from work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let me tell you something. I am, but the problem is I'm also very lazy and I have the shelving unit here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I keep meaning to build it and rearrange the room, but I just never get round to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One day, yeaah, I'm gonna have like, and I was gonna put a whiteboard on the wall and I was gonna write things on it, something from chat, like each time I'm streaming, like I'll put something on the whiteboard or whatever, so it sort of stays, uh, current.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a Barbie poster, a poster of the movie Tangled, and a framed five, five, uh, blown up versions of stamps, uh, with, with famous trains on them. These are just old things that were in the spare room, and I haven't even moved those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me tell you, you know the way on those stamps they have a tiny portrait of the queen in the corner? She looks super young in the portrait. So these are old stamps, like these are probably from the 70s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They really, honestly, DC has done a terrible job with, with movies. They've done so many movies that they've tried to do from the DC Universe that have just been a complete disaster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're there. There's a list of people from Jersey on Wikipedia, and you're under other notables, I might add. And you may be the person at the very bottom of the page, but you're on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, aka YogscastSips, gaming commentator and video producer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to, but I just can't be bothered anymore. Like I used to come back from vacation with like 200 pictures, and now we'll take like seven, and I just, I just can't be bothered. I mean, I used to enjoy it, but I'm just like, ehh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, only really the first kid. Like, I've hardly taken any pictures of the second kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, they always say to us, we need pictures of you guys for like the promotional stuff and the talent announcements and stuff. So everyone was sending them these shitty pictures and I would just go at the last thing and be like, oh fuck, I forgot to send my picture. So I'd take a selfie on my phone and send it to them and that would be like the official promotional picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, of me looking kind of goofy on my phone. So they were like, right, this year we're going to get everyone, we're going to take all these high quality sort of shots of all the talent and then we can use those in future. So these are the pictures that they got and they just, they just sent us one saying, oh, if you want to use these for anything, feel free. But I just think it's funny because it's such a high quality picture, but it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm 40 and she said, you, you don't look over 25. I said, yeah, I do. Like I said, you know, cause she was really young and I said, maybe you just don't know. Maybe it's her first day on the job. She was quite new, but the other guy at the checkout was just laughing. He's just laughing his head off. And I like turned him and said, I said like, dude, I'm 40. And he went like, just serve him. I was like, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, they, they brought, they have lots of really good photographers that work at Valve. And so they just had set up lighting and everything like that and makeup and all the rest of it. And we had the pictures, but they said, like, I just went up there and smiled and I was like, okay, done. And they're like, no, no, no. Like we want you to move around and pose and take a couple of pictures and we'll pick the good ones. So I was like, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I just leant forward and did this stupid pose and they were like, oh, that's great. I was like, no, I was just messing around. They were like, no, no, no, that's great. I was like, oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you do is you set an alarm for yourself. So I have my phone and I'll set an alarm for 50 minutes to give myself five minutes to get to sleep and 45 minutes of sleep. And if you sleep for more than 45 minutes, you will wake up groggy, which is why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 45 minutes. They've done research into it. That is the optimal nap amount of time. So I, I go for 45 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm good at, I'm good at waking up early in the morning like Mrs. F wake me up sometimes at like 7 or 7.30 or whatever. And last night I went to bed at about 10 past 2. I can power through until about 1 and then I'll have to have a little nap. And then I'll be good for the rest of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, all the time. Like, I mean, my dad wrote, my dad's in his 70s. Like, my memory of him when I was a kid was, you know, he was like this, he's like six foot, he's like a big guy and I was a little kid and I was like, wow, my dad's awesome and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, my parents got divorced, so I didn't see him, like, saw him maybe once a year, and now I see him maybe once every couple of years. And recently, when we've gone to visit him, I've been like, damn, my dad is getting old. Like, he really, he's noticeably getting old. Like, my mum's been old forever, but my dad just, there seems to, he seems to be getting older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember one time I went over there and he needed me to help him lift something. And he was like, oh, I can't lift this. And I was like, okay. So I like, I lift, I thought this is going to be heavy. It was like not heavy. And I'm like, oh man, he's old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not that bad. You're only talking late 90s when you really start coming apart at the scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the Button or Grape movies, yeaah. What was Gilbert Grape? Does anyone remember? Cause why does that stick out? Uh, it had Johnny Depp in it, I think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As bars go, the shit rivet tavern took sleazy and redefined the word. A trio of Spur Lupien strippers outnumbered the lone customer, but ground the pole on stage with real menace regardless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Behind the chrome top bar, hunched and moodier than a Mork Beast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the fifth pint of ale the human in the corner had swigged. But it was five times the business Floop had the previous night so he wasn't complaining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After his spell, the melancholy was broken when the front doors creaked open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had no way of knowing flute was odontophobic, so it really was just one of those weird coincidences, typical of a space saloon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had not recognized his old compadre and cursed himself for it. Bodega always had money, and he could have charged five scrells for the ales instead of three. Then it dawned on Floop, if Bodega was here, and these four guys were here, it could only mean one thing. There was about to be one flarf of a good fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll have to figure out what Bodega looks like. Grizzled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, your vision of Bodega is, uh, I like it. I kind of want to leave the description of Bodega open so people can-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perhaps fill in the blanks. Bodega is many things to many people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that person threw water on me one time and that person spilled paint on my drawing, so fuck all those people over there. And they sort of develop these little cliques and they fall out with each other and stuff, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now she's in the happy stage of school where it's all fun and sweet, but eventually she'll be in the, uh, the hateful, I wish I was dead stage of school. Uh, so let's let her enjoy what she can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. Fucking, I'm outta here. Like, we actually built a, uh, a little, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we had a couple of guys that were the audio visual, they, they had a little, this was while we were in school, we were like 15, 16, they had an audio visual company that they actually ran and they did AV stuff for like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talent contests and things in the area, all local stuff. They've gone on now, it's a bigger business, but uhm, at the time that's what they did and they knew about this place. Nobody else knew about it, but you needed it when you were setting up AV equipment and doing lighting for stages and stuff at school. So we found this area and we set it up. We played poker in there, we'd sit around chatting and, and you know, talking shit and everything like that. It was like our little refuge from school and if we skipped lessons, we'd go hide in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] BJ's found us, we're in massive trouble, and he just went, Oh, you cheeky buggers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, you're not smoking, you're all you boys. And we went, no sir. And he went, alright, carry on. And that was that. And we were allowed to keep our little, uh, our little clubhouse. Yeah, it was fucking awesome. It was a happy memory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There used to be a smoking section in McDonald's when I was a kid. Like those little ashtrays, remember they'd have the McDonald's M on them. It was like, yeah. In the cinema, if you sat at the back, you could smoke, there was a smoking carriage on trains. You could smoke in the back half of an aeroplane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My parents both smoked, uh, my mom quit, my dad quit ages ago, um, and then when I got to about, I guess I would have been about 14 or 15, I sort of, you know, people are starting to smoke and stuff like that and there were lots of girls around and stuff and you're starting to get into that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wanting to be cool, uh, stage. I had no cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, like I look back at pictures of myself there and it's just a picture of a young man with no idea what's going on on top of his head. It just can't, it's out of control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy everybody remembers, the other guy, they could put anybody in that picture and you wouldn't, we wouldn't know. You'd just go, yeah, it could be this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had movies, they had movies, Kid and Play and Kid and Play 2, House Party and stuff like that, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, so, I just kind of, you know, in an effort to, I had disparate groups of friends. I had my nerdy friends that I played games with and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was hard work. I had to really get into it. Like I remember my mum had some, uh, some old menthols lying around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and she had them like in the- misplaced or whatever. It was like in a drawer, I found them. I was like, oh shit, she must have forgotten about these. So I, I like, she was out at work, she used to work late a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my sister was in bed and I was like, I'm gonna fucking smoke a cigarette. So I lit it up and I immediately got the worst head rush imaginable. Cause I was like, I hit this thing really hard cause it's minty so you can do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so bad, but I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get good at this shit. And I gave me such a bad head rush. I was literally floored. Like I could barely move. I was so dizzy. I was like, Oh my God, what have I done? Cause I didn't know. This was pre-internets. You can't Google anything. You're just on your own in the living room. Yeah. I was like, Oh my God, poison or something. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would I tell them you're not allowed to do the stupid shit I did that in the end turned out to be harmless? Like I'm not saying, you know, I'm not saying that I want them to do like anything ridiculous, but most of that stuff that seems rebellious when you're a kid is really stupid. When you look back in hindsight, it's like, geez, that was like, nobody was impressed. It was just ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is actually, if you walk around smoking to other 15 year olds who are not smoking and haven't yet got to, cause that's only like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The smoking culture like that goes on at workplaces because you get to know all the other smokers when you go outside for the smoke break and you have like a separate little office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made me quit, uhm, because I didn't want to get the secondhand smoke and stuff on the babies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it was easy. I just stopped because I had a really strong motivator. And then it wasn't until a friend of mine came around with a vape and was like, you should try this. This is great. And I was like, oh, this is amazing. I can smoke in the house. It doesn't smell. There's no secondhand smoke. I was like, this is it. I'm hooked. And so, yeah, that was that. Vape dad was born.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard it takes 10 years to heal the damage done by regular smoking. That's what I heard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People might hate Bodega, you never know. The whole Reddit thread might be, fuck this Bodega guy, this is the worst thing, this sci-fi is the worst I've ever read, and uh, it's a mockery, it's a mockery of sci-fi, it's like, it's like bad TNG episodes. Nah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not sick. Sips, are you? PDXCon gave me the clap, yea, to all the sweaty nerds. They passed on. Where did it come from? It had to come from PDXCon. It had to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was bad. I almost died. My mom was really worried. My mom, I don't think actually gives a shit about me, but at that point in my life, she did a little bit think that I was going to die. Do you think she thought she would be responsible if you did die? Maybe, maybe she just like, how's this going to make me feel? You know, if my son dies. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's great. It's really good. No, she's really nice. Really good. And her dad is nice too, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ultimate is when you get to the point where literally like every day of the week you do something very specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On a Tuesday, I put my overcoat on and I walk down to the co-op and I buy the exact same fucking thing every week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when the prices rise, I get stressed out because I'm not used to change and stuff. And it's like on a Wednesday, I go to my acro aerobics class. And on Thursday, I like to go, you know what I mean? Like, I hope my life never becomes like that. I want to be, oh, fancy free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until, uh, one day I just keel over and die. But actually, preferably somebody shoots me in the back of the head with a shotgun and it's all over. Like, I don't want no slow, painful death. I want to go out and blaze a glory like Jango Unchained. That's how I'm going out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, I mean, I don't think that, I think the rest of the country feels the same way, the way that elderly people are treated in Britain, flax, so you're not alone there, like, man, they, people really fucking hate old people. I reckon you should shit on that, like, campaign slogan, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were talking about this last night, I was talking to my wife about it and we were saying that like, you know, like a lot of the dumb shit that happens in like, you know, like social services and all this dumb shit that happens and we were just saying, I think that part of the problem is, is that, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want somebody who I can vote for who isn't like a grey old-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking grandma. Like, like, I saw the, the Tory Manifesto on TV last night, and Theresa May, holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She opens her mouth and literally instantly I'm in a coma. Like, I do not care about a word that woman has to say. She's like a vampire. She's old, she's like totally out of touch as far as I'm concerned. Like, I don't fucking care. She wasn't even fucking elected in the first place. Yeah, that's true. And like, and she's just parading around saying, work with me to make Britain great and all this. Fuck off, okay? Like, nobody gives a shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My boiler has been serviced. Uhm, it looks like he had to, uhm, there's some black speckles coming out, so he's had to put, install some more fire cement, whatever the fuck that is. Sounds really cool, but like, it's probably not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy, okay, this guy, he's really good. These guys are really good. But this guy is typically a boiler repairman, okay? Like ass crack out everything. Like, I walked in earlier just to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right before we started, remember, I was like, I'll be two seconds, I just have to go in, check to make sure the Boiler Man's getting on okay. I open the door and my entire vision is filled with this guy's asscrack straight away. I was like, ah, he's fine. I just came back out. It's, it's crazy. Cause you know that when they're bent down in there looking at the boiler and their asscrack is sticking out, things are probably going fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's true, because you don't see ass cracks that often. So when you do see one, your mind is like, this isn't something I'm used to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you guys have noticed like, like, I've noticed this recently. There's like this, there's this thing where there's commercials and stuff where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see like workmen, traditional workmen, you know, kind of overweight, you know, and they're wearing like jeans like that are ill-fitting and those like high visibility vests and stuff. Yeah, yellow hot pants. But then they put them, they put them in like hot pants and high heels. Have you seen like these commercials? I hate those ads. There's a couple of them, right? And now I feel like my mind is warped because like sometimes when I see this guy who's fixing my boiler's ass crack, I think like, what if he just had like a G-string on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, I don't even know if I would bat an eyelid at this point because I've seen all these workmen wearing stilettos and fucking hot pants and dancing. It's 2017. That fat chick comes out and she dances a bit as well and stuff and it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they tried to entice Germans over to their Thai massage parlors and casinos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every casino I've been to, I find that predominantly the people there are like Chinese. Like I think Chinese people just love gambling. You know, I'm not being racist or anything. I'm just curious if they've heard about Rosvedov and you know, they've made their way out there sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, on the topic of Blizzard, did you see that Destiny 2 is gonna be exclusively obtainable on Battle.net? So it's, it's, it's happening. The, the old Activision Blizzard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Merge and Blizzard slowly becoming kinda shitty and stuff is, it's all, it's all happening now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're moving away, they're moving away from Steam, so you can probably, uh, expect at some point in the future, uh, on Battle.net, all of the Call of Duty games and a bunch of other fucking crappy Activision shit on there too, so it's gonna be great. Congrats. Yeah, they did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why it's going to be available on Battle.net or Blizzard, Blizzard launcher or something. I don't know. This is, this happened yesterday apparently. I heard about this. So there's that. And in other news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we're at, we've just sort of like transitioned into the new segment. Poor old Chris Cornell has passed away. Yeah. Damn shame. Damn shame. Another icon from the 90s, like another teenage hero. Dead. 52 years old. Fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he killed himself, which is like, what is the deal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, maybe that's why you felt so depressed, you sensed a disturbance in the force, Chris Cornell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, honestly though, like he was touring with Soundgarden, uh, cause I guess they did like a reunion tour or whatever. And uhm, lots of upbeat tweets from him and stuff, sold out shows, everything, it was all going well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he was doing like crack and everything, like it was, it was pretty bad. Pretty bad. Yeah, but uhm, yeah, so now, so he's, so he's dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Definitely the worst. You know, like the chemical dependency of heroin is, uhm, debilitating and I don't think you ever kick it, you know, like people have to take methadone and stuff like that to sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quell the urges and whatnot. With like cocaine and crack and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably really really bad, but I think you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With enough, like, hard work, sorta kick it and not go back to it. Maybe you'd be tempted to go back to it, but like, with, with heroin, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a bit different, like it's uhm, you know, it's like, it's like nicotine, but like nicotine's obviously not as...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As bad as, as heroin. But you know what I mean, like it's, it's, it's, it's that, that chemical dependency, you know, like your brain is just like, I need this, I have to have this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing with heroin is that it's not fun, though, I don't think. Like, uh, like cocaine and drinking, those are like, those are like party, like cocaine's like a real, a party drug, right? And like, uh, drinking, you know, you can get a bit like shitfaced and stuff and have a nice time. Heroin just knocks you flat on your ass and you just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we dropped acid, uh, in an alleyway and blew each other a lot and oh, it was crazy. Then I jumped off a roof and killed myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taking tokes from the lyrical bloods before, but that's about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, there was a thing on Twitter where somebody was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope, uh, I hope that those are just like cherry stains on the cake. And then the reply came back like, uh, no, it's not. So like fucking dude bit into it. The needle stabbed his mouth and he was like bleeding all over this. Oh, horrendous. Who fucking does that though? Like who puts a fucking needle into like a baked good? Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you have to be a fucking raging asshole to do it. Like, hey you can't, how do you live with yourself after that? Like, knowing that you've done that. Like, it's insane, it's beyond me, I don't get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no top in that. What, you're gonna put like a nuclear bomb inside a cake? No, you bake a cake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember that year when Britain put forth that, uh, it was like they were like airline, uhm, stewardesses and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bux Fizz. Katrina and the Waves. Yea, Katrina and the Waves, go back to Bux Fizz. Love Shine a Light, hang on. Uh, Bux Fizz? I'm not sure if Bux Fizz, uh, no, Brotherhood of Men in 1976, Save Your Kisses for Me, that was also.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bang bang, boom bang a bang by Lulu. That was another winner in 1969.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Abba won in 74 with Waterloo, which, you know, that was a pretty good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Nice. And then in 1991 Sweden won with a song called Fangad av en stormvind. Maybe it was like a Warcraft themed. Stormvind. Stormvind. I don't know. But uh, yeah, 97 I guess is the last time the UK won.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And of course, the last winner was Portugal. I didn't watch it. I would never go out of my way to watch Eurovision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't hate it, but I don't like it either. Like I'm, I'm firmly ambivalent towards it I think. Like I just think whatever. Sure, sure. I mean some, there's some, some notable


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Winners here, like, uh, like Abba, Bux Fizz, like, I know them. I couldn't tell you who Teddy Sholten is though, from the Netherlands, with his winning song In Beat Je.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, there you go. Luxembourg has won a couple of times as well. French songs. Jean-Claude Pascal won in 1961 with the song Nous les Amoureux, which means Us the Lovers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did they do it? I don't know. It was hosted in Cairns. So maybe fucking, you know, it was already heavily swaying towards like a French winner and Luxembourg were just in the right place at the right time. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you know what always makes me laugh? The old footage of like, uh, Michael Jackson concerts, where like, and Beatles and Rolling Stones concerts, where like all those, those girls in the crowd are like fainting and going crazy and crying and stuff. Imagine having that sort of effect on a person. That'd be fucking hilarious. Holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you don't care because you voted for Brexit, Lewis, you asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the last one I remember was 2014, which was uh, Rise Like a Phoenix. Remember that one? That's the last one I remember watching. So it's been a while. Heroes by Sweden, I don't remember. Uh, 1944 by the Ukraine last year, don't remember that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I did not watch this series either, which was Amar Pelos Duas by Portugal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy, it's crazy. It's absolutely nuts. Remember that year, it was that, there was a year where Andrew Lloyd Webber, remember, he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have to win Eurovision, I'm gonna make a song, we're gonna just cheese it hard, and we're gonna win Eurovision, and they didn't win. And I haven't seen Andrew Lloyd Webber since, I think he fell into ill health and stuff, and like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause remember he was doing, remember he had those shows. He went into a casino.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw Phantom of the Opera in London and that blew me away. I thought it was fucking great. Like it was really, really good. Like the songs and everything were really good. It was nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would highly recommend it if you're ever feeling that way inclined to watch a musical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was really good. I'm really looking forward to playing some of the new countries and stuff. It'll be nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game will just get better over the years with the fixes and the DLC that comes out. Because the thing is these games are so vast, they can't get it all in for release. Otherwise the game would never be released. You know what I mean? They have to do it this way. And the way that they sell DLCs means that their studio can keep working on the games as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not at the point after hundreds of hours of playing that game, I'm still not quite at the point where I'm ready to play a mod like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has been, yeaah. It's crazy. Yeaah. It's incredible. I still haven't played a game as the U.S. because I thought they were going to be too big and overwhelming. I still haven't played a game as Japan. You know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a really good one. Amazing. So Bodega becomes a pirate spin and seems really excited about it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't believe it. He had so much more to give, I think. A bit of elaboration on his character, maybe a bit of development stuff, but no. He went on fire and he's dead. That was some Game of Thrones right there. Just when you get attached to somebody they die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No Patreon, but we will be, uh, sponsored by Gillette, the best a man can get, cause we're- I don't shave. Fuck you, Gillette, I don't want your shit. I don't shave now, but I would shave if they sponsored us, for sure. No, fuck you, Gillette. Gillette! I don't like Gillette.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Thank you for tuning in, guys. Thank you for listening. And girls, uh, to me, Lewis, of the Oathscast, Pirian Ted Forsyth Flax of Twickenham, London, and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, non-voter. It is, it is voting day today in the United Kingdom. So this, this, this podcast is usually delayed about six days. We record it on Thursday. It goes out on Wednesday after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, although they might be a little bit delayed this week due to the fact that we're moving office, um, next Monday and Tuesday. We were just mentioning before the podcast that poor old Sipsy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I guess if you're in prison you can't vote, but if you're an ex-con, can you vote? Do you get your vote back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you, would you judge people differently if you knew what their crimes were though? You know, if it was, if it was like some marijuana that they had been dealing when they were a teenager or whatever, would you judge them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cips, like, if you were running your strip club on Jersey, as you have previously said. Cips strips. Cips strips. It's like a CD strip bar near the airport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, you know, catches the, the old crowds heading back, you know, they think, oh, you know, it's a business trip, but maybe I'll just stay a little bit later. Yeah. Catch the later plane and I'll visit sip strips for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was cooking some, I was cooking dinner, okay. Were you doing cooking with Sips? Were you cooking the halloumi peppers recipe from last time? Yea, I was, yea, I was doing the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you hire someone who had on the CV, you know, I've, I've, you know, I've beaten up a bunch of guys before, you know, I've been to prison a few times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm just thinking, like, you know, if I'm gonna set up my own CD strip bar, I'm gonna want a fucking series of like, what are they called?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that if I was to hire any ex-cons. You seem to not know shit about the mafia. According to Pivlax's story, Sips, if I were to hire any fucking ex-cons, so thinking, oh, this guy's gonna be a right bruiser, right heavy, he's gonna be like, poof, like a cloud of dust as soon as any trouble starts. If he's on probation, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The slippery, slippery. Have you ever been in like a mafia front? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I, I, I've definitely like, when I was like on a family holiday, definitely walked into like a, a really sort of quiet Italian, down a quiet Italian side street, which is the kind of thing my parents used to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, my dad and mum would wander into like a quiet Italian-sized street where there's this little quaint little restaurant and we'd go and we were obviously little kids, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it was, it was all, it was all quiet in there and there'd be like one woman in there, she'd be like surprised to see us. And we'd be like, do you serve food? She's like, yeah, I guess, just come and sit down, you know, and you'd end up like eating in someone's, felt like someone's living room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like one of these quaint little Italian- Yeah, it's like a club or something, like a society meeting place. And there's like a bunch of guys sat around another table with like prison tattoos and like dots on their face. Not so much those places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, it's like, it's basically is, is, you know, if you're, if you're caught in a lie, you should say something embarrassing that's, that's not true, because people will think, oh well, he wouldn't have, he can't be, he can't have been buying drugs, he's just said he's buying a big deal though, you know, that's embarrassing enough to admit to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I went to, uh, I remember going on a French school trip, right, because we were, I went to school in Essex, it's not too far from France, so we go on these day trips to France fairly regularly on the old ferry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, I remember one time we were in France, obviously some of the kids had dared each other to go in and buy the dirtiest


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really, really into candelabra. It was, it was very specific and weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I remember like this magazine had been, it was partly because it was quite dirty, but partly because it was, it got passed around the whole bus of kids, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and eventually, you know, the teacher got it and sort of told that, told everyone off kind of thing. But it was, I don't know, I don't know why I remember that now, but the dirty magazines were definitely there. We had, we had, when we used to have, we had lockers obviously in our school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, we had this one kind of locker and it was full of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would get raided all the time as well, it was ridiculous. Yeaah. I think the old, uh, the old porn locker got raided a few times and moved around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that was, that was fucking weird the shit that you do when you're like a 15 year old watching your kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We always have things to argue about. We're never going to see eye to eye. I don't think anyone does in politics ever see eye to eye. Everyone has their own little opinions and it's too much. Everyone's very stubborn and sitting their ways as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you have been interested if a lady would have sent you a Polaroid picture of her bubbits? I'm sure I would have been, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's wrong with Pamela Anderson? No, nothing, I'm just saying that it's just such a product of our time, isn't it? So she's so ingrained, old Pammy, in our psyches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, the girl, the girlfriend, she was quite a famous one, the one. Anyway, let's move on from this or else we're gonna get in trouble. Uhm, so I moved out of my old flat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of me's like, looking forward to getting out of there anyway. Anyway, so basically I put everything back, because when I moved into the flat it was full of crap, so I shoved all that into the cupboard, and I'm getting all this stuff back out again, and there was this big old, dirty old carpet in the middle of the lounge, and I shoved it under the, uhm, washing machine kind of cupboard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I was getting it out, and uhm, so he was just like, standing there, like, looking over my shoulder. It was basically like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing the inventory of the house was like having some sort of school kind of exam, okay, and he was going around checking on all the cleaning, he was checking on all the things were still there, and he was like examining me, basically. It was like, it was really weird. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I unrolled this, this carpet, uhm, just, I just put through, cause it was rolled up, I, I, the carpet, I, I threw it down to the lounge floor, unrolled it, and I was like, oh my god, it looks really weird. And then I realised it was covered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it was a huge rug, and so they scattered just under, under the sofas, under the chairs, under everything. And I was, he was like, what are we going to do? And I was like, oh, I don't know. So I rolled, I rolled it quickly back up and dragged it out of the flat, and I took it down through the lift to the bin, but I noticed that I was covered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I just dusted myself and went just into the office and had a normal day and did everything normal, but I was literally just genuinely considering going home, going to my new flat, like stripping off on the doorstep, putting everything in like a metal bin and then just chucking some light fluid in there and just burning the whole lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I felt like, oh, I don't want to contaminate my new flat with that shit. So that's a little goodbye present to the people who've moved in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't know whether that's a thing. So yeah, uhm, that's, that's what happened. So I've moved into this new place in Clifton and I've got a little story of something that happened. So first of all, I broke up with my personal trainer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he was like, cause he was off on holiday. And when he came back I'd moved. And so he texted me at 4am saying, hey I just landed in Bristol. I don't know why he texted me, cause I've got this new stupid phone, I don't know how to use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was on like, but my phone wasn't on silent so it beeped and it woke me up in the middle of the night and I was like, oh for fuck's sake, so I better reply.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he said, do you want to go to the gym? You know, see you at the gym in like four hours. And I was like, uh, it's been awesome to train with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've had a great time and learned a lot, but can't do this week at all I'm afraid. I think we're gonna have to stop training.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. God. And I didn't reply to that. So, that's where, that's it. That's the end of our relationship. You didn't reply. It's really weird. It was really uncomfortable to break up. I really feel like I've broken up with someone. You should reply and just be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, so I've moved into this new place, right, and uhm, the people who lived in it before me had these newborn twins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they were a little bit overwhelmed by, and so they moved out to a slightly bigger place. And uhm, so I'm renting their place. So I think they left in a bit of a hurry, and also they took a lot of stuff with them that I guess they needed. And so I've moved in and it's kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was supposed to be a furnished place, but it's not really furnished. Right. And as a result, it's got, it's weird. So basically, like, first of all, sometimes when you move into a place, there's always instruction manuals for everything, right? So one of the things, the first things I did was, uhm, was try to, like, just use the, the hob, like, the, the, the hot plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, it's like, it didn't work, and it was like weird, it was making weird clicking noises, it was like, I was like, what the fuck's going on? And I, I must've, in the back of my mind, I was like, is this an induction hob? Have you ever used an induction hob before? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I went around and had a look, but I didn't know that there wouldn't be, like, I didn't know that these would be problems. Like, I didn't know that, when you move into somewhere new, you don't know that the washing machine's gonna be full of mold and like other things. You don't, well, yeaah. Is there carpet in the good clean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a problem, but I'm going to fix it all, it'll be fine, it'll be fine. Uhm, but one of the main problems is like, this really freaked me out. Uhm, I got like an email that said, hello Louis. I'm watching you. I've noticed that the garden light has been on for three days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you like, and then he said like, I'm coming, I'm going to come round to turn it off for you, or something like that. And I was like, what the fuck? Maybe he's got like a webcam set up, you can't see it, and it's like- It was from the fucking estate agent, right? The letting agency. So I was like, first of all, I was like, one, how do you know? Two, who told you this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking pay me, I'll sort you out. Jesus. I, I, I was like a bit freaked out by this. So what I did was I looked through the tenancy agreement. I was like, two could play this game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean like, oh god, but I deleted that in the end. And I just sent a normal email to the landlord asking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I made the traditional fucking mistake though of signing up to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm calling them out now. Other internet service providers are probably better, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Period complaints about them all the fucking time on Twitter, right? I booked the appointment for like this week and they were like, okay, it's booked in, in the morning. And I was like, perfect, you know, I can stay at home. This is a, you know, we're sorting out other stuff. I'll take this morning off. And they, they emailed me to say, yes, we will see you at the appointed time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it does. Oh my god. Well, let's, let's have Sips's cooking segment if it's got, if you've got time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. Go and enjoy yourselves, enjoy your lunch. Thank you for listening to Trivus Podcast this week with me, Sips, and PureFacts. Hello. We'll see you next time. And goodbye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Today, coming from massively pollen-filled, uh, England, where I am like a snot machine, apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, I don't know, I don't normally get hay fever, but it's like, we've had like a thunderstorm, and I think that like throws everything up in the air, all the pollen. Yeah. Uh, Sips, how are you doing? I'm great, how are you? I just told you, P-P-Flax, how are you doing? Doing great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome back everyone. So, as you can hear outside in P-Flex's garden, the lowly call of a wood pigeon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I was a surgeon, I'd be like, you know, I'd take a little cheeky opportunity to shave the area. You would?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, unless the guy has a dick that looks like that muppet with the long nose and the massive head of hair, you know what I mean? With the shock of hair kind of just everywhere. I mean, hang on a second, who has like hair all over, yeah, like gonzo hair all over his nose, like not necessarily thick, bushy hair, but like just downy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But sometimes it's quite difficult to know, I mean, on your ball stick, which- Well, I think you just go with it. Just go with it. Just go with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you don't shave your balls, do they say, oh sorry, we can't do the surgery, or do they just, do they get a nurse?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's make it like a camping trip. You know, you bring your own camp bed, you bring your own packed lunch, right? And so they don't have to feed you or like, you know, get a bed or anything. You can just turn up, pitch your tent, set up the camp bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then like, tie a little thing around your wrist that is like a tag and it says, you know, left kidney, remove please. Shave your spores and everything. Draw with like a sharpie big X on your left kidney, where you think that is. You know, there'll be like a, there'll be like a diagram. It's like Ikea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to do 30, you have to make 30 deposits in the pipe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Glass of beer, and then they all fall in and drown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's legal. I think Jurassic Park's solution is going to be the one. Like just, you know, plug in some mains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Ghastly creatures. I like squirrels. You know, they're cute. What's wrong with you? They, they, they, they love nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be walking along through a tranquil glade and a little squirrel comes along like, oh, just appears in front of you, looks around, goes back up a tree, it's cute, it's nice, it's nice to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that white noise is like a good thing or a bad thing? Like, cause some people really hate it, but some people like, really like can't sleep without it, right? Some people have to play rain sounds on Alexa or whatever to actually sleep and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you have to have the crying of a plaintiff child that's in order to sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you're awake. No, I thought it would be the other way around now. You just, you'd learn to sleep through anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't groan women who cry that much. They're just emotional sips. Just women are emotional being creatures. You're a fucking idiot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just get- no, I think sometimes kids don't necessarily understand the world, do they? Like, they think that if they kick that rock and it goes round the corner, that that rock has disappeared from the universe forever and- No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Holy fucking shit. So no, uhm, squirrels man, I don't know, I feel like they don't deserve such hatred.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mummy. It was the mummy. So I watched the new dinosaur movie with the new dinosaur. Oh, the new Jurassic, um, what's it called? Jurassic? Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom. Fallen Kingdom. Fallen Empire. Fallen World.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Jurassic World came out a couple of years back, it was okay, it was kind of a, like, a little bit like what The Force Awakens was to Star Wars, do you know what I mean? The Force Awakens was kind of a retelling


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of the same story in a modern, with a new cast of characters kind of thing. Right. You know? So Jurassic World is kind of the same. It's like a retelling of Jurassic Park only, it happens again kind of thing, right? It feels like it's this series of very safe choices made, which are these big action sequences that are a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, the movie doesn't have, like, very much of a, very much substance in terms of a story, but it's fun, like, you know, I just, like, sometimes in a movie, okay, I don't know if you guys get this,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, you need to pee, but it's too exciting for you to leave, right? When you think, oh, I don't really want to leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this movie, I was like, meh, I'll go and have a pee. Yeah. I got off, I went and had a pee, came back, literally, wasn't, you know, it wasn't a big deal. Whereas I feel like some movies, if you do that, you're like, oh god, what have I missed in the fucking ten minute, ten seconds that I've had to leave? Ten minutes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels like people are actually fairly forgiving of reboots though. I mean, Spider-Man shows you how many times you can reboot stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got that kind of like, Captain Kirk-y, smug fucking look on him, all the pictures and stuff, and I don't know who he is necessarily, that actor. I guess, is he an unknown, the new Han Solo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The story of the new Kirk, that's all, from the Star Trek films, and I'm like, ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's tricky. I guess they have to find someone who, who's proven but not like necessarily like, you know, known already. Right, right. Yeah. Proven but not known. Mmm. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, imagine you've got, like, imagine it's a smallest thing though, imagine it's like a script, okay, for like a concept, for like a 15 minute animation or something, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you wanna pitch it to people, and you know, if you're willing to pay people for a couple of weeks work to write a script, and then you don't use it, they've still gotten paid for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because at least if they're just, if they're just like lazily going through in their own time, editing it to the standard they're happy with, you know, they're not feeling like this is competition and there's like pressure, you know, you'll get, you'll end up with weird people editing it if you make it into a competition. You know, you have to keep it natural. I kind of, kind of think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also if their one is worse, then they don't get to, you know, it's like, well, sorry, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yours was just, we didn't go with yours, you still get paid, you know, you're still, you're still a job, isn't it? Like anyone's job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you, but imagine like any other job though, imagine if you worked in, in like Starbucks, you know, and you, you made a coffee for someone and you had another barista there making coffee and, and you know, after a whole year you found out that, you know, all the coffees you'd been made making were being like poured down the drain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, you know, how does that make you feel? Like, I dunno, like, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also feel like, I dunno, I mean how much can you learn? If you're working on like a movie for a whole year and then, I'm moving over to your side now here, by the way, but I feel like if you're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How, how do you get the feedback from that? You know, if you watched a movie that they did, and you think, oh, he did it like this, oh, he did it like this, like, surely there'd be loads of things that you did better in your movie, but then you wouldn't know that they were the things you did better, because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, maybe if he gave like a really detailed feedback at the end and he was like, hey, I preferred your thing here, his thing here, your thing here. You know, surely you could-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, afterwards, and he cuts together the best bits from both the cuts. Yeah, maybe. Would that be okay? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, this bit doesn't have enough dinosaurs, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, him like, like hunched over struggling down that street with two walking sticks at like fucking the slowest pace you've ever seen in your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he- I guess he's out there for like eight hours, but holy shit, like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then again- So the dude gets on the bus! Right, but also hang on, it's just a second. It's like being ID'd, okay? Like, you know, I sometimes get ID'd. So do I!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, we were at ParadoxCon, and there was like a shuttle bus that ran from the hotel to the event, because the event this time was actually a little bit further out the city. So we got the bus, shuttle bus back one day, and it was full of peeps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, full of people, and we got back to the hotel, and the hotel was on this big, like, the crossroads of this big, like, six...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Biggest, noisiest bus horn you've ever heard, like meh, like this. And, uh, so, and then the taxi, the bus sort of Swedish driver starts yelling, opens the door, starts yelling out the bus door. He doesn't get up from where he is, he just starts yelling out the open double bus doors at this taxi driver who's in the car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the taxi driver's like, sort of, you know, nods and tries to move and stuff. But the Swedish bus driver's not having any of it. He, like, he gives him like five seconds, and then he... He just holds down the horn, okay? Now, normally, this is a thing that you see happen, but I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kid you not, he just kept holding down the horn for fucking ages. Like it was heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doot doot, doing a little bit of hooting, but not anything. They're like, they think like something crazy's happening. They think it's like an air raid siren, cause it's just so fucking deafeningly loud. Heeeeh. Like, people are literally putting their fingers in their ears as they walk by, like all the people smoking outside the hotel are like, ducking back into the hotel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it just goes on and on for like a minute and then like a minute and a half, then like two minutes of just him holding down this horn. And it's fucking nuts. And eventually these taxi drivers moved. But, you know, even people in the hotel were like, fucking, did you like turps? Cause I think someone was in the hotel at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And was like, fucking, did you hear, like, what was going on out there? There was just this horn going on for fucking ever. And we were like, yeah, that was us. That was, we were on that bus. And so eventually the fucking tax driver pulls out and he goes and parks. And then as soon as, as soon as he like lets his


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it was like the middle of the day. It was like, you know, three o'clock in the afternoon. It wasn't exactly like, you know, it wasn't like a weird time or anything. And it wasn't even that busy really on the streets or anything. It wasn't like it was a rush hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's one of the first things I learned when I was driving. It was that I'm not going to be in an accident because of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is what I was thinking with the Swedish guy, but he was so fucking like psychopathically holding that horn down. Like nothing you've ever seen in your life.


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[Assistant] Cause everyone on the bus sort of kind of cheered, right, after, after he finished. But also we were terrified of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was almost like, the fact that he was willing to hold down his horn for that long would be that disturbing to that many people at a busy crossing. You know, it was just- Dude doesn't care. And just attract that much attention to himself. It was just, it was like, what the fuck? What a big old fucking pair of shaved balls that guy had. Sorry for the wait ladies and gentlemen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like bodega operators have clipped together? Guys, we have to use this opportunity to raise the profile of bodegas by subtly adding bodegas into the bodegas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey everybody, welcome to the TribeForce Podcast. That's right, we're back. Proudly sponsored by the Brennan B2. I've got the Brennan B2 on my desk. It's so small. What's a Brennan B2? It fits under the monitor. 5,000 albums, lossless at the touch of a button.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of jug would you guys prefer though? Like a plastic jug? I think a plastic jug. Some sort of ceramic jug maybe? A plastic jug is less likely to break. An ancient Incan, uh, ceramic jug with fine embroidery and detail on the sides?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kathleen, uh, well, she's like, she's a bit older, I think, and she's had a few, a few tucks and nips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never even noticed. I was too interested in the story because it's an interesting tale of, uh, injustice in America. She does look terrifying though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's interesting how the media hype around it is portrayed. In the first season, uhm, they made a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is it. That's what's bizarre about it because for the longest time these people that were involved probably heard nothing.


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[Assistant] Because it was just a, you know, it's a backwater county and nobody cares and some white trash was incarcerated and everybody's happy sort of thing and but now that there's there's been so much analysis into it and you know everybody is weighing in with like their professional opinion and there's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is interesting and it, but the documentary is very good at highlighting how, um, terrible like the justice system can be and how unfair it can be and how incompetent people can be as well. Uh, and maybe at the time they don't feel like they're being incompetent or whatever, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I play Dota 2, I feel massively incompetent, uh, and that's, that's, that's a unique feeling. But no, generally in my day to day life, I don't feel like overly incompetent. I'm sure I make mistakes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of these positions come with an entire administration or a cabinet filled with smart people advising and pulling strings and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, the system is designed in a way and it takes time and this, that and the other. But the thing is, if they are innocent, and we don't know if they are or not,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's, let's say that they are innocent. Every, every fucking day that they're in there and they're innocent is time they'll never get back. These are human beings who will never get this time back. You know, like their whole life is, you know, has been spent, like the best years of their lives have been spent, uh, in jail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if, if it turns out that they are innocent, how do you, how do you pay that back? How do you make up for that? You know what I mean? Like that's, it, it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's tough. It's crazy. Like, you know, life, life is ultimately quite short. And if you spend your whole life in fucking jail for something you didn't even do. What exactly? It's crazy, right? Like, how do you pay somebody back?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Handle so many juggings, right? Your skin is- Does my skin not peel and burn when jugged? Yeah, that's it. You're getting older. Your skin ain't what it used to be. It might not be so resistant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, the podcast today is proudly sponsored by Woody Allen, uh, check out his, uh, latest, uh, movie in the, uh, on the big screen on the silver screen. It's called, uh, fuck, I don't even, I don't even think I've ever seen a Woody Allen movie. You've never seen a Woody Allen movie? I don't think I have, no. I mean, maybe I've, maybe I've accidentally seen one. Yeah, no, I've never, never seen one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we haven't talked about that, but hang on a second because there's more TV shows to talk about. Making a Murderer is back, yes. Hip Hop Evolution Series 2 is out and it's awesome as well if you haven't seen that on Netflix, I definitely recommend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An 18 wheeler turns up to a factory, okay? This is the biggest potato chip factory in all of Europe, possibly the world. I feel like we need like plinky plocky music running under this. An 18 wheeler chip turns up to the factory. This factory churns out 2.5 million


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One grab bag or packet of potato chips has one potato in it, okay? So 200,000 potatoes turn up to the factory, you're gonna get 200,000 bags of chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So listen, one thing I learned is that apparently potato, I thought potatoes were hardy, but they bruise easily, so when the truck turns up,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it docks with the loading bay of the factory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they immediately put this gigantic fire hose in the back of the truck and flood the entire truck. And then the potatoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the water starts going. It takes 35 minutes for 200,000 potatoes to turn into 200,000 bags of potato chips. Holy shit. 35 fucking minutes. That's crazy, isn't it? That's crazy. That is nuts. You should see the process. It's insane. They fucking peel the potatoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They cut them, they check to see how big the potatoes are, there's all these little machines that spin them around and jump them around and stuff and like the big potatoes get sliced in half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the small potatoes stay as they are, and then they slice them all up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they fucking tumble them in this gigantic drum and then they, with all the seasoning powder so that like, you know, when you have like cheese and onion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Barry, Barry farts in each bag before they get the potato chips go in. Just to keep it, just to lock the freshness in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mix it with water and it makes this like, it's like Play-Doh and then they-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, when they, they first cook it, it's like under like a tremendously high amount of pressure that's like this massive pressure cooker that this paste goes into. Right. Uh, which makes it even more Play-Doh-like. And then, uh, and then they just shove it like at high pressure through a mold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it comes out as like one gigantic gross tube. It's exactly like when you were a kid and you played Play-Doh and you had the fucking clown head and you, you know, you press down the lever and the Play-Doh comes out as hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of the top of his head or whatever. It's the exact same sort of thing and then it just gets cut into little individual monster munches and then again just tumbles around, gets seasoned and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In contrast with, you know, uh, the fucking portrayal of the legal system in making murder. And you think, how are we able to make all this fucking high tech clever stuff, but we're not able to, you know, do an investigation of a murder properly? Like it's, it's crazy, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My kids still watch like fucking, the, the, the big one now is Strawberry Shortcake on Netflix. Kill me. It's on all the fucking time too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean you are. People are talking about it on Reddit and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're looking around, and then uhm, we- we noticed fucking Mario Party for the Switch! Oh yeah, yeah, it just came out, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck, let's get it. Like, this game is amazing. I used to play Mario Party on the Nintendo 64. My son was like, yeah, fucking Mario Party, like this is gonna be great. So we, so we get it. And I was like, we're in the car on the way home and he's super excited. You know, like when, you know, when you're a kid and you get a game and you have the box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's fucking looking at all the pictures on the back. He's got the instruction book open and stuff and he's, you know, he's super fucking excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was great too. And uh, we're on the way home and I was like, oh shit, we only have like one controller for the Switch, right? We only have like, like we have the Switch and then the, the, the fucking things that slide onto the side of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we don't have, like, any other controllers, so it's like, gosh, shit, you know, like, I should've got another controller. We're not gonna be able to play or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we get home and he's like super excited, puts it into the switch and everything and we turn it on and he's like, can we play two players? I was like, well, no, we don't, we only have one controller, but you know, we can't play two players and he's like, no, look, this like, look on, look on this and on the screen, it was showing you that you could use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was getting like really quick at like adding up, you know, like the dice rolls of his and then his like ally can roll a dice and everything as well and it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, it was really good. Fuck, I, I, I, Nintendo, I know like people like slam them sometimes and stuff, but man, they make fucking great games when you were like a seven year old kid, right? Like they still, somehow still has that magic, like the, like Mario party of all things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just like my, my fucking, my son was just loving it. Like absolutely loving it. It was great. It was really, really good.


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[Assistant] No, you know what though? You're looking at it the wrong way because people still need to be in places to do these jobs, right? And I think what's happening now, like it's certainly happening at school and will probably start happening at work in, in, in some capacity I'd imagine is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, that's like a, that's something that, well, like specifically gamers now are conditioned to seek out that kind of stuff and like enjoy those mechanics or be fucking possessed by them or whatever. I don't know how you want to like put it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, I can see that happening in a job, right? Like, especially in, like, a very, like, weird, menial, repetitive job, like, strawberry inspector or something, like, so if you're on a line and you're doing quality assurance for, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they could like count up how many you've done and like fucking you could have like a leaderboard to say that all Jimmy inspected five million strawberries so he's unlocked an achievement and stuff like that and, and I think that it, it just sort of filters into that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, where people, you know, want some sort of idea of the amount of work that they've done and look at it as an achievement and have some sort of, I don't know, award or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a positive thing for you to do with all of your free time would be to grow all your own food because otherwise,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world's just gonna run out eventually, right? So like, if you have all this free time all of a sudden,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've said this many times before, uhm, I don't suffer from loneliness because I have a house full of people that, half of them I've made, and uhm, and a wife as well. So I, I reach my quota almost instantly from the moment I open my eyes of social interaction. It's crazy. I'm quite happy to spend all day in isolation in here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, so what are you doing for the week then? Cause like, I've never been in this situation. I hope to, you know, go out there one day and get to experience this. It's beautiful. So your wife and two kids are gone for a week. What's your routine like now? And are there pizza boxes like all over the fucking place? So here's what I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a paradox game set in like the cold war era could be kind of cool too. Cause you wouldn't have like potentially


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wouldn't have like, like so many ground battles, right? It'd be like a lot of like managing like air forces and like maybe like little sort of like contra units and stuff like that, you know, like with all like the diplomacy and the scheming and shit that you can do. I think that'd be kind of cool too, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's like, I played a game with Munt on the topic of Hearts of Iron IV, he was Germany, and he fucking, within like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like by the end of 1939, he conquered France and England, um, just by para-dropping onto the capitals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Answering all of, or was, was it, was it true answers or was it like lawyer answers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the problem is, is when you start, when you, when you're like really hydrated and stuff, you need, so you need to take a break to go get water, but then you need to take a break to go pee like every five minutes too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but this isn't TV, man. This is, this is Safe Haven away from the man and TV. That's why.


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[Assistant] That's right, I don't do, I, I, I'm my own man. I don't do what people say. I'm a loose cannon. I'll hand in my badge on my way out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Twitch streamer. You should, you should, you should, uhm, you should care for an animal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get too carried away, Lewis. You're the boss. Of course, people are going to send you a lot of stuff and try to... Brown knows you, right? Everybody's trying to climb the ladder. No, that's not true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That makes you better, but some people inherently are better at art without spending even a second doing art. Some people are just, are just better at, uh, conceptualizing and drawing than others. You see that in children, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, of course they do, yeah. That's all they do. It's like anything, like anyone who's good at anything, it's time put in, like for sure. You just, the more you do it, the more you practice and stuff. A hundred percent. The better you are. But something like art as well is so uhm, you know, like what, what,


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[Assistant] Art is the type of thing where somebody will be like, that's fucking amazing, and then the person next to me will be like, that sucks, it's not that great, sort of thing, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, there's that about it too, right? There's not like one standard for art. It's all like, art's different, it's all over the place. But, like, playing a video game, there's one standard, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get out there and fucking, you know, if you're not, if, if you feel like maybe the reason, uh, like some of these people, uh, have, uh, some problems with their mental health is because they're, they're doing something that they're not good at. Maybe they need to go find a toilet to clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you typing all this while you're singing it? Dude, you don't wanna lose this! You gotta, and then you look back at the lyrics. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, I think you do wanna lose this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a classic, and it shouldn't be made into a movie. I'm very disappointed that it's received such- Have you read it? I have. Oh! My dad's a massive fan of this book, alright, and he said to me, you'll love it, it's great. It is the most forced attempt at a feeling of nostalgia that I think I've ever read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, it's, it doesn't make any fucking sense. It's a, it's a bad book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I have that freedom, and because it's a big open world, you can pretty much do whatever you like. Now if we were playing the Witcher 3 player, for one thing, would you guys have followed me around for 20 hours while I went and got every Gwent card in the game? No, and that would be incredibly boring for anybody else, so it's like, that is a real single player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's much more strategic, much more. Every fricking fight in Bloody Divinity was a strategic battle. You bump into something that seems fairly simple and you get wiped out by it and you're like, Jesus, there's no fighting in this game that's easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so she, TI, TI this year, uhm, was very, uh, mechanical, it felt to me, compared to TI6. TI6, I think, was, most people that I've spoken to, that was their favorite. That was the previous TI, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it felt like it had a bit more charm and a bit more humor, but it also had great games and great storylines and it was just, it was fantastic. It was, it was a brilliant TI. It had a great meta as well, like it was a very, very good version of Dota. TI7 also had a very good version of Dota. Wonderful games, like some wonderful games and Liquid winning it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like an against all odds thing, all the Chinese teams seemed unbelievably strong, beat everybody else, and Liquid just did it, and some very clutch games, wonderful performances, and the games were great. But they went for this panel this year that was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without playing, it is harder to understand it, and a lot of the time I feel like if I didn't play Dota when I was trying to watch it, it would be a hell of a lot harder to follow what was going on. And I know there are moments when you're watching with people who don't really know the game, someone will do something, and people who play the game a lot will go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's, oh, you know, you see, you're like, holy shit, I understand exactly how hard that was and what a brilliant play it was and all the rest of it. But if you're just watching it as a casual observer, you'd be sort of like just looking for the team fights basically and the big spells. You wouldn't see the subtlety to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the analyst position is a little harder. So you've got your commentator, your co-commentator would generally be someone more knowledgeable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they're meant to do, that you could easily miss, but their appreciation of the game and their ability to spot that stuff is so much higher level, that to them it's obvious, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, too much. You don't need three experts because there's generally one agreed version of what happened. Why did Liquid win? They did this better than anyone else. Okay, end of conversation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but that's the problem. It's not about the dead air. It's about trying to have a conversation. And imagine if I would say to you guys, uh, the Triforce podcast is a podcast that involves me, Lewis, and Sips. We would all agree on that. What do you have to add to that? I mean, if you want to add detail, you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were, were way, way, way worse than the guys that won. Because in other tournaments we've seen, like OG for instance didn't do well at this TI, but they won four majors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, one of the things that matters at TI is who understands the game as it is best played right now? Like, what is the best way to play the game right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still do it. Like I just, I played it this morning. It was great. I mean, I just love it. I mean, I've reached this point now where I'm kind of philosophical about it. And when I, when I make a mistake or someone makes a big mistake, you can laugh. Like there's a guy that I play with quite often and he was Tidehunter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he double tapped his blink. If you don't play Dota, what that means is you blink back towards your own base. So he was trying to blink in as Tidehunter to Ravage, which is a big spell that stuns everybody in a huge area. He was gonna blink in, he was gonna Ravage, we were gonna win the fight and win the game, and he double tapped blink and Ravage. So he blinked away from the fight, Ravaged, and we lost the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, if I was like your average raging pub player, I would never play with that guy again and it would be awful. But I play with him all the time. People fuck up. It's funny. I don't mind a big mistake like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is hilarious how much easier the game is. Like if you play enough against good players, you'll spot the stuff you can't get away with, and you'll know exactly how far you can push your hero, cause they will. When you play against the absolute shitters, the game is like, it's like easy mode, it's wonderful, and you just run all over them. We want a game that's like a 20 minute stomp, just crush them, these kids have no idea what to do, it's brilliant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not just a threat, it's the intention. It's not just whether they're an actual threat. They're intending to- What is this portrait? You'd have a painting of your wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think of that? And every time we're making love, you can look up and see Todd. It's Todd's painting. Staring down at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at this, I've made, I've unmade, I have an unmade bed and I'm going to display that. Like that, that's a talking point. I mean, we all know Tracy Eamon's unmade bed, right? Which I can't remember what the name of it is, but it's basically the bed that she slept in and like it's, it tells all this story. You look around it, there's like cigarette ends and underwear and stuff and it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start people talking, even if the only conversation is, is that art, is at least a conversation about art. Yeaah. I mean, I'd rather people were talking about it than just going, oh don't care, no, don't know anything. Like it is interesting. Yeaah, exactly. I get to a lot of galleries as well, and I also roll my eyes at a lot of the shit they put in there. My worst ones are the ones where you go in, I saw one, I went into, uhm, the Tate Gallery, not Tate Modern, but Tate Britain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just three fluorescent lights on a wall. And that angers me because I think, what is that? Like it's just, it's literally three lights on a wall. It's cheap. It feels like they're attempting to make art without putting any fucking thought into it. But you know they agonized over what colour to make those three lights and what angle to hang them at. It's like it's a big deal for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they're fucking hideous, like a big toad. Damn, that is one ugly fucking animal. And they can, they can be kind of weird orangey browny colors. Could have been a toad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm not sure what the expectation was. You were like, I got canvas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I'm going to the doctors today. I've got like my, my eye is all like swollen up and it's like weird and I look like a kind of, like I'm half asleep. Like sometimes when you wake up and you're like, you're like looking in the mirror, you're like one eye is like more open than the other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's called Tosis, you know, because there's that actor who has it, isn't there, that black actor who has that drooping eyelid. Excuse me? Tosis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this list of actors who've never been in bad movies. Tilda Swinton is one of them, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People always say about Nicolas Cage though that it was because he had a tax bill he couldn't pay and so he had to just take any work that came along. And so he ended up just doing a ton of shit. But man, I don't know, maybe he just enjoys it going out, doing stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see, what was it, like, I was watching some American TV show, and the kids, like, they made, like, a hundred grand, okay, between them, and they instant, and I thought, that's not very much, like, money to make between them, but instantly they went completely off the rails in a completely unreasonable way, and one of them bought a car, and I thought, well that car,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a start, it's more than your share of that hundred grand. Like, if you got a hundred grand and you were like, okay, I've got twenty grand, let's buy a forty grand car! I was like, how, how is that even, but that is, that is very American.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] High flying industry, you need to have a nice car, a nice place, you need to pay loads of bills, you need to go on these tollis, you need to pay for golfing. No, it's not, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even at the top end, living that rockstar lifestyle of a super celebrity like Johnny Depp, does he have to pay for these things in order to be that and carry on living that life?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they're having this much money coming in at the moment and they, and they think, oh, you know, I'm going to have so much more future income. Like when you get your mortgage, you get your mortgage based off the fact that you're going to have a job, hopefully, for the next 20 years, you know. So does Johnny Depp think he's going to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like bad investments? Is it like wives, divorces and stuff causing like half of your money to go in the toilet and then you have to like think, oh well, you know, I have to pay a half of everything I've owned. So I guess that means, you know, selling a lot of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think this is a very similar story, p-folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have to have a credit card and they have to take money out on that credit card in order to actually pay the fucking bills because, you know, they're living in London, they're working, you know, they're getting, you know, not very, not very high starting salary and, you know, they literally cannot live month to month without.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of very smart people are in debt, and I think it's because they've been trapped often. You know, I remember staying with this, when I was working my first, when I was doing an internship for Pfizer, I stayed with a lady who rented rooms out in her house temporarily, so I stayed with her for like a month while I was looking for another place, and uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, she, she had, we were chatting, she had like loads of loads of credit card debt and it just sort of got on top of her really. And you know, she was like, it just, just kind of got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit out of, it just, she didn't think it was too bad originally and then so she used another credit card to pay it off and it just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a little bit like, it's a little bit like a psychological problem though of something you don't want to deal with, you just don't deal with it, you don't escape, you just, it's like escapism, you just put it away and you let it get worse and you, you know it's there, you just, you just don't deal with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this, this exact same mentality can apply to, you know, lots of other issues, you know, like, like, like gaining weight or being depressed or these other problems that, you know, not solving something and then that makes it worse. And it's a vicious cycle though. You know, it gets worse. You don't want to deal with it. It gets worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeaah, but then again, like bankruptcy is a very common, you know, I think Donald, didn't Donald Trump?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, like 8 times or something. I mean, well, 50 cent was bankrupt as well. But that was his company that he'd set up, you know, so he set up a company, it didn't go well, blah, blah, blah, yeah, but it is very different from personal bankruptcy, but you can see


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wasn't there this thing about students, you know, declaring personal bankruptcy, but I don't think you can do that on your student loan, actually. Oh, maybe not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's exactly, it's like a D. It's not a fail, but it might as well be. Yeaah. Yeaah. I mean, it's like a D. It's bad. 2-2 is a C. It's a fine grade. It's not. It's a C. It's a pass. I was so fucking late. It's a pass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't degrade, lots of people out there are saddled 2-2s and, you know, they're fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. I mean, that's how, that's how, you know, some people like to go through life though. Some people judge it by like the day of work. So it's like, oh, you know, a day I get paid, you know, like like eight quid a day. So, you know, exactly. That's like they measure it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Geez, but okay, so let's, let's, let's go back. So uhm, were you, were you, so you're, were you seriously sick, P-flax, or can we talk about this, or were you like- What, about when I went to hospital, you mean? Yeah. Have you talked about it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so you were, you were feeling quite a lot of, uhm, stress and caffeine. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then again, like, paramedics are, uh, they're really heavily trained, but they're more trained around those types of things, I think, like, around, like, heart stats, stuff that, like, they actually have to have quick response for, rather than something more like, you know, you don't see a paramedic, you're like, rash, and they'll be like, why? Did you guys ever see that movie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People, I have this thing where I don't want to bother someone with a problem. It's like one day I wake up and I'm a bit yellow and it's like, well, you know, my face is a bit yellow, but you know, I'm sure it'll go away. Next day, bit more yellow. So I'm like, I ring up the doctor and he's like, oh yeah, you know, come in if you want, but you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, I rang up the doctor for an appointment yesterday and they were like, yeah, the nearest, the closest we can get you in is October the 9th. And I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, and they'll schedule in for the daily stuff, and that's okay, but like, it was just like, holy crap, you know, I felt like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt like, you know, so I can see why people don't want to bother someone and then they get very bad, you know, and then obviously this guy probably came in and he was in a, you know, got even yellower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, you know, he was like, oh, okay, I better go to the doctor now. And they're like, right, you're going to hospital. And then there he is, a day later, even more miserable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they think it's bad. They tend to get like a bad infection or something. Then they end up in A&E on Monday because they, because of this, because of the way that we operate. I think that the majority of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's almost like every little thing that you do puts you off going to get seen. So, you know, having to ring up at 8 o'clock, having to sit on hold. I had to sit on hold for half an hour today to get an appointment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like, look, we have a very, we're very lucky, we have the NHS here in the UK, you know, it's free, we don't have to pay for it, you know, so that's, that's nice, but again, like, I feel like, I feel like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think it's a little bit like there's so many good people in the NHS who work, um, very hard to keep it going and work overtime for nothing and care and really, you know, if you work in the medical profession, you've got to, you've got to have a certain, you know, desire to look after people and I think that's an incredible amount of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing like, it's people who are doing good to try and make it better but also, you know, there's a lot of unfortunate, I was talking to Ben about this because he used to work for the payroll people at the NHS and he saw, you know, all of the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of the mismanagement of funds and like, all the, all the poor, all the shit that was just done lazily and badly and, you know, like, for example, like, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always a tricky choice though, isn't it? It's tough putting a cost on lives because we have this information, right? We know that, you know, if we did have more doctors and we did staff Sundays, we would save this many lives, but we don't think it's worth it. Do you know what I mean? Lives aren't worth that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it is reassuring, and I think that peace of mind is, is good as well. I think, yeaah, I think we're very lucky to have, have this. So I'm a bit worried about you now, PFLAX. You, you, you look, is this, when was, so this happened, this happened last week? Sunday night. Sunday night. Do you know what provoked it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wouldn't do that, Sips. That's not your idea of a lads holiday, Sips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, we'll be together, the three of us, it'll be magical. Yeah, thanks, thanks, I hope your backs alright, sips, hope my eyes okay, uhm, we're all fine, don't worry about us. Get well. We're falling apart, we're getting old. I hope all of you guys out there are not pooping in people's lawns, and if you are, don't do that, for god's sake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everybody and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast with me, Lewis, uh, also here is Sips, from Jersey, and Ted. Good afternoon. Ted Woodpidion, Alfage, Heath.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever think, like, like, I have these moments, okay, where I'm like, man, time has gone by. Occasionally, you're excited for something, you're like, oh I'm looking forward to this holiday, looking forward to this thing, and then it's over.