[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to eat a couple more things. And then, but I know if I did one thing, I would be like, ah, I'm done. If I put, you know, gum in my mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, I'm sure chewing it, I would be like, kind of like, I don't want anything else. Like I'm fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, oh, but I don't, yeaah, I don't know, I don't know, I haven't been, I'd imagine it went down. Jennifer, uh, yep, Jennifer Carr.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kachiriski. Kachiriski. Kachiriski. Kachiriski maybe? Kachiriski. Jennifer Kachiriski.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a huge fan of the podcast. You guys keep me company when I go on walks or clean my house or drive to work. Since I'm a teacher here's a word search I made for you guys to do. Make copies for everyone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that is awesome. Little word search, Nate Land word search. It's pretty up to date. Very up to date. Dustytown, Dyslexia, Great Savage American, Horse Divorce, Hey Bear, States, Tennessee Kid, Sour Patch Kids, uh, Bucky's. Yeah. Yeah, guest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Penguin. Oh yeaah. How about it? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got a pool. Yeah. Hey, can you make some there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make some copies. Can people do them? Mail them out to everybody. Uh, Brian will mail these out to everybody if you're listening. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome. Thank you so much. Did you see the vid? I thought you forgot you were even here. Go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the timing. Yeah, it's so funny. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Pride Rock 92. I am Aaron's age and it seems he has stopped trying to explain very explainable things because it gets shot down so fast. Explain that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is? Oh yeah. How old are you? I'm 31. Oh. Yeah. You were like a baby. You're an old man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe he's like, he's sad that he's watching you get old in front of his eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you don't go, yeah, here, you don't explain it to us. You're not teaching us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Young bucks. Young bucks going out. Bunch of college eds. Don't want to graduate college, right? Or you didn't graduate? Okay, you graduated. And then, uh, and you did not. No, no. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Uh, Scott Sales. That's a good last name. Uh, I wanted to share, that sounds like a Seinfeld name, Scott Sales. Scott Sales? Yeah, like they would have like, you know, uh, something. I wanted to shed some light on prison life. Oh boy, Scott. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I've done about five years between jail and prison, unfortunately. Drugs are mostly my downfall. Nothing stabby. That's nice. I've been out now for two years with no trouble. It's great to hear. You can pretty much decide who to sell up with eventually. Right off the bat, not so much, but when you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make some piles that becomes an option. Obviously you kind of scan the perimeter and decide who and who not to talk to. It's really not that bad. Now jail on the other hand, yikes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you could fly or if you could be invisible, what would you, oh gosh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just every morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. I think jail is, there's probably, prison's like an organization at least. Like once you get in there, like it's home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jail is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it could be somewhat crazier than you think maybe. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that, but, uh, awesome. That's awesome, Scott. I love that you've had no trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, that's great, man. Uh, got a great name, Scott Sales. I tell you, you gotta pick your own person. How you doing? I'm Scott Sales. I think you'd want to, if a guy goes, my name's Scott Sales, I'd be like, I want to be roommates with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, sometimes I like, like our last name is Bargetti, but I, sometimes you're like, godly, if your name was just this, you'd just never have to tell anybody anything. Like, y'all's names are all very, you know, not rememberable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's nice. Dusty Slick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are... Brian Bates. Yeah. Brian Bates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian. It's not Brian. It's not Brian. Brian Bates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're trying to buy a shovel. I got M&Ms. You can use the box maybe. Why does it say camp supply store if there's not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have a tent thing? Do you have tents? Do you sell tents here? Oh, we got popcorn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lebanon. Yeah. It's Lebanon for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian Bates'. I'm going to Brian Bates' house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian Bates' house. You gotta go over there, go Brian Bates' house. Bates' house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, get toilet paper, son. And he goes, I don't have, we don't sell toilet. I would imagine everything was, they go there and they come back and they go, where's the supplies? And the person's got skittles. He goes, they don't have anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm going to go look who's over there. Brian Bates. I'll go over there. Oh, let me go check it out. Comes back with, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sour Patch Kids and Popcorn. He goes, they don't got anything over. He goes, yeah, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I walked all the way down there. Brian Bates down there. Uh, how much was the candy? You remember?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] S-T-U-H-L-D-R-E-H-E-R. I bet when I spelled that, people thought I was going to stop two or three times. And then they go, he keeps going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Stolger. Got the pronouns built right in. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like 70. You know, that's a lot. My chin got tired. Uh, Hey Nate, Brian, Aaron, and Dusty. Thanks for helping me laugh daily. Check out this picture of my girlfriend. She was younger. Does Dusty have a long list sister?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I was like well that doesn't make sense. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, have you guys ever had bits or jokes come out of the topics from the podcast? Yea, I do. My next special, uh, I close on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A story I told on here, the day it happened, which I won't reveal since we're so close, but I'll show, I'll try to find that clip. Can we find that clip?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. It'll be interesting to see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I'm closing on it, which is crazy. I try not to like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I try to keep it someone I honestly think I have from the podcast. I have that. That's just a story that just happened. It wasn't like the joke came out of it. Uh, that one. Uh, one other one. Uh, those two. Maybe there's a third. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That might be it. Which is, would you be amazed? There may be another one. But I mean that's, I've been trying to, like I tried to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, uh, I want to be as little, like I don't want you to listen to this podcast and then go watch special and be like, oh, it's the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't, it's, it's, it's, it doesn't come from, you know, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I think it's, I think it's two of them. So, I hope it's two of them. I'm pretty sure it's two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think this new one I'm trying to build, I don't think I have anything. I need it. Uh, Madison Jones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I run cross country at Mississippi State, Mississippi State University. I just want to thank Nate for his advice to work hard and be happy for those who reach their goals faster than you. I took his advice and got 63rd at the SEC cross country championship this year and with 148 people in the race, that makes me extremely


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I now consider myself to be the greatest average runner in the SEC. Thank y'all for some great advice that has helped me achieve average results. That is very true. He is the greatest average runner in the SEC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's a girl. Yeah. Yeah. Madison Jones. Great job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great job, Madison. Madison, welcome to the club. Greatest average runner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our junior year, you're like, she's not even listening to the podcast. All right, Madison, I don't know what happened here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's keep up with Madison Jones. It's very exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when you are at your best, you can do great things, but sometimes life gets so busy and you may feel overwhelmed or like you're not showing up in the way that you want to. Uh, better help is there to help you. You can, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give therapy a try. It's a great option. It's uh, convenient, flexible, affordable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Entirely online. Uh, you know, talking to a therapist is, uh, you know, the people have been doing it forever. It's starting to become more of a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it can help you if you feel alone, if you feel you got your problems and uh, no one can relate to you and no one can, or you feel like you can't get them out. Sometimes you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you, you just need to talk to someone that's not in your circle or just, you know, just to, to make yourself better. Like it's easier to change you than it is to change the world. And this is a way to go do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash Nate today to get 10% off your first month. Truly, if you are out there and you need help, I know people go through a lot of stuff after the COVID, after everything that you feel alone, you feel this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go, just go honestly talk to someone. You gotta think, you're making yourself a better person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you will then become a greatest average American. Cause you will, the average American, I would imagine does not talk to therapists. So go talk to one and go get help. And, uh, you know, you just gotta get stuff off your chest. It's not, it's a, it's a, it is a good thing that you go do this kind of stuff. Uh, but you make it, it's all your call.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you go do it, I want you to go to barehelp.com slash Nate. You get 10% off your first month. That is better help. H E L P dot com slash Nate. All right. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The nightly comedy shows. Where does cruise ship show rank in the career and quality of a standup comedian?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It used to rank a lot lower, I don't think it's that now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's a lot of great comics doing cruises. Uh, I, I did them when I first started. I feel like when I did them, they were, it was, it's a, it was a, it was more of a joke. It was, they weren't highly looked at, that, to do it. I was very young when I did them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was, uh, but I think now like, cause people realized that they were like good gigs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Carnival, they have, I mean they built a showroom in the back and then, uh, I think they were trying to make it more enticing for comedians and I think they did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so a lot of good comics go do them now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, the setting is completely different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so there's comics that are going to do it better than most, you know, that they're just going to destroy. But I mean, now like there's having like, I think Burr Crusher, is he doing a cruise or? And then, you know, practical jokers cruise I did. So there's a, there's, there's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's becoming a thing where people are doing these things. So, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I don't think it's got the stigma that it did. It used to have a bad stigma and I don't think it does now. And now a lot of comics that do it are comics that are very good. And, uh, so, uh, yeah, that's, that's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's maybe the saying was five C's. It might've been five C's. Yeah. Yeah, that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's right, corporates. Casinos. Casinos. Casinos is six. You don't want to fall into one of the C's. Casinos are its own. Casinos is a whole thing too. You can get on those circuits. Yeah. Circus. Carnival. I mean, we might only do C places. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come to concert halls. Come to concert hall, common. I think you're doing alright. Yeaah. It, it, uh, yeaah. You don't wanna, you wanna, yeaah, you wanna be able to do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yea, there's a lot of comics that are really good that are doing those now. But I definitely, it's, it's, you don't go in, I think, thinking, hoping you're gonna do cruises. It's not, you know, the end goal, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, you know, your end goal is just to do comedy, so there really is no end goal. Your end goal is kind of just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to be doing this full time. So if you're doing it full time, then you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're on the boat a lot though, like when I did it, you were, uh, you would take the, you would take it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To like the Bahamas or whatever. Or you'd fly to the Bahamas, get on it, and then just go back. So you really, like, I only got off the boat once I think. Wow. You just weren't off a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep rolling. Keep plugging along. 20 years, it's a long time, man. It's a long time to do something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you still feel like you can't ever make a joke. You would hope 20 years you're like, I'll be able to rattle off whatever. And it's still the hardest thing ever trying to come up. Like you're like, what am I going to talk about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wasn't involved in the fight at all, but he's now apparently kicked out of our favorite bar. Is there any chance Nate can write us a letter explaining global warming so we might get our friend back in the bar? Yeah, that's crazy. Why did he get kicked out? What if they were fighting about global warming?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I do comedy. Okay. And. Just getting started. Yeah. Uh, yeah, because the joke, yeah, it was, uh, the global war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, any chance is better. Yeah, they should let them back in. That guy did nothing wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would a guy, you know, and that's a perfect time to bring up global warring, right in a fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, yeah, and go back, let, let, let, whatever this bar is, y'all should be allowed back in. That's insane. Uh, Jamie Harris will go come back. Mark's like, all right, bye buddy. Do a bottle. And you're like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jamie Harrison Hobbs. My brother and I have the same name. He is James Jimmy and I'm Jamie. We're not twins. I think my parents just gave up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I don't mind the word, the name Jimmy for a girl. I kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I don't think I mind the name Jimmy for a girl. I think it's, I think it's, it's gotta fit. You better hope it fits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe they were Jimmy and Jamie Johnson fans. Alright, Jimmy Hendrix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The real world out here. He lived alone and forced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian Bates. Oh yeah. Brian Bates. Lived alone, 48 and got married, had a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when people always ask you how the family is, I don't think anybody here, they remotely care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's almost like, how's the family? Like you want to just, well, it's like you care. You're just like, everything's good. Yep. That's all I want is just like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're good. He's good. Certainly he's good. You go, well, they're on the moon. Uh, Heather Huffton, I am pregnant with a boy and my husband and I are trying to come up with a name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our only real requirements are that the average person has to be able to say and spell it and is still is a little unique.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I figure since Nate is the greatest average American and regularly mispronounces pretty simple names, I would test our top two on him. Aiden or Anderson? I'm pulling for Anderson. Ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my head, I think Aiden, but then I do think Anderson's a way more unique first name. I thought you were going to go Nate, which is pretty solid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anderson is more of a last name. I know, but it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, but you don't see it. Aiden, it feels like, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely unique. And it's old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not a good sign. The first one is that he changed it. Uh, that's his given name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is it, you know, there's a given name because someone gave it to you. Yeah. And then you're like, well, I'm, I'm doing something different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And then if I'm like, well, hey, I don't really like that I was given that. Anderson Silva.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, but it's not, it's, it's, uh, it stands out. I bet there's other Adens in your class. There's not going to be another Anderson. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, that is funny if it's, yeah, this is my daughter Anderson. Yeah. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like you would be saying, you're like, this is Jill Anderson. Yeah. And you're like, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd be by the critics or the people? Critics. You can't do the people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I think I'm the greatest average American because I know when people are going to be like, we're not on board with that. We don't like that. But you're the opposite. You're the, you're above the elite, elite, the elitist average American. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, but I don't, I think it's a trick that... It's the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the way like we always talk about like people say they're comedian and they're not comedian like they're, you know, but they're like funny on Instagram or, you know, they make funny things and they're always like, well, I'm a comedian. You're like, it's not, it's, if you're really looking at the art of like standup comedy, like you're like, you're not really doing it. And I would imagine artists paint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of like painting like that where it's like, you get some hype around somebody, it's about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they go, Oh, I did this. And you just go, wow. And you can just, it looks fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I bet there's, there's, there's the difference is probably wild. And it's like, it's like, oh yeah dude, it's like, you're like, that's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's more like, no, that's your Jackson Pollock. You'd be like, oh wow, you got that. But if the guy was, no one was doing that at that time, then yeah, then it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then, right? I mean, you would agree that it's like, oh, I've never seen anything, like painting was more, it was a painting and now it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has some method to this or whatever, and now you're just buying the name. Totally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's the, it's owning the, like it gets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like is that Banksy? Like is that a true artist? Like, I mean, cause he goes and just pops up and you don't know where it's going to be and then people find it. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like his is like, you know, famous because it's like, you don't even know who that guy is, right? There's some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you always see it under bridges where you're like, how did they get, I think it's about getting there. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's probably even, that's pro, that's like true art probably, like where it's, it's guys that are doing it and not making any money and they're just putting it out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, I would think, I, I get Laura likes, like some art, she always likes local, like if there's like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like local or someone we know, like some of my, uh, my buddy's wife, uh, Amy, uh, Moffitt, uh, she, they live in Charlotte. She's, uh, she became an artist. We got one of her paintings and, uh, she does paint. She was like, she's like rated in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Charlotte is one of the top artists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, but they're, they're, there's, we have one of hers. Is it abstract? Like that kind of. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's like that. I like that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's just, it has, I think it's a, it's a lot of adding color to a room and where they say like depth or they, which there's, you know, but it's, I could see owning or, but if you own like, what's the, you know, what is it? Leonardo DiCaprio? Da Vinci. Da Vinci.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I could see it being a collector thing if you were like alright I want to buy, I always want to get some kind of collecting thing, some hobby. And I could see it, like if you got one, like if you got a crazy painting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is, it's, it's, it's, it's, you know, someone could paint the Mona Lisa, you're like, well someone could...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paint that better now, but it's the, it's all, it's about the, what it is, how it got there. Like the Jackson Pollock is like, it's about that guy's name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you think of bands like that? Like if a band is just in a nightclub playing. I would imagine maybe it's not art yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it could be art eventually, but it's not, it's not art yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I'm saying it's not art yet. You're, you're, you're, you don't get a, the beginning is, it becomes art. I mean, I don't know if you ever really get it. The person should not be able to say I'm doing the art. It's up to people to decide when it becomes art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so if you're in a bar doing blah blah whatever, you can't, it's not art, you're not art yet. It's not even able to be art yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think of it as art though, like where you're like, you know, cause you're like, all right, you're just out there being dumb. Yes. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I, I feel like art is like, it's, it's, it's not for, it shouldn't be for the, uh, the artist to decide. If you're the person, it's not up to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't get to say if you're doing art or not, you just do your thing. And then other people can decide if it's art or it's not art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's no good. And I think that's a problem we have in the world today, is everybody tells you what


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything they're telling you because they have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, have a reason for why they're doing this. And so they tell you, well, it's, but I'm an art, like I'm this, I'm that, this is art. What I do is hard. What I, they got to tell you where it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I would think, uh, anybody else, you would, you know, it's like if he made that painting, he just makes that painting. And if it becomes what it becomes, that's on us that made it become that. He didn't go, this one's going to be a big one. I would not, I don't know, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, but it's up to, it's up to him. It's his thing. Like he, or we call him the artist. He doesn't call himself the artist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think too many people call themselves The Thing now, which is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the end, dude. Like you can't call yourself, you don't get to decide. That's the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the, I think the whole point of art. That's, that decides if you make it or don't make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I think people say artists maybe just out of like, what are we going to do? I'm not going to have a four hour conversation with you about stuff, whatever. So you might just, you'd probably like, I'm an artist, like I'm a painting art, you know, and you'd be like, okay, you're just trying to move on. But in general, like, I mean, that can even be the title. Like I'm not trying to get into the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it semantics or of it all? Like cause some of it's like you're moving on. But you could, you know, paint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, the thing, like the Nancy Meyer's kitchens, the way her kitchens are designed in all Nancy Meyer movies became a very big thing that people are like, Oh, I love the kitchen she had. So them coming up with those kitchens is like, there is an art to that. And the fact that people are enjoying, like they see it on the, they see it in the movies and they're like, Oh my gosh, like look at these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the way it's set up and everybody wants that kitchen. Like there's, that is a, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's an art to that in the fact that there's design. And that's, I mean, if you go look at an old church, like, you know, whatever, it's like the way it's built and set up, you're like, you know, the architecture, all of it, I'm sure there's something to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you just, you don't get to say you're, it's not up to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't, they don't consider stand-up comedy. Cause it's- Now we're mad, like, we are honest. I go, let me tell you something. This is the hardest art I've ever done in my life. And if these people got the nerve to not call me an artist, I'm the best artist. Nah, just all the stuff I say, I just throw it out the window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's either great or it's like, to some degree like, ah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, so I understand that with improv. It is hard to come up with stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's, but I mean you get, it's a lot of work. It takes them a long time to get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean to get to a high level of it is, and to be flowing like that whose line is anyway to those guys to be, that's pretty, that's a lot of years. They're like amazing. Yeah. I mean, I know that that's why it's like, there's a lot of years that go into that. And so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I would, I would argue that the, the improvs that you don't know and they're complaining when they're young, you're like, yeah, well you're not good. But to get to the highest level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you're Chris Farley and you're those guys, that's a different, that's a completely different kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, so there, there is something different to that. But yea, I know what you mean. Like it's, the bar is lower. It's, uh, you can save it with being dirty probably at any point. Same argument for standards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Is that an art? It's got to, I mean, it's a loose, like it's, it's, you could say, I mean, cause it's an art to reading people to, uh, no, it's a, I mean, it's a skill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but there has to, you have to have, I would imagine the great ones have some art to it. Like Tiger Woods is, you know, like Michael Drew, like there's some art to it. There's the skill to it, but then there's the art, the vision that they see to do the, you know, shot, to take the shot is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you really wouldn't consider that to be an art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I'm drinking, I'm drinking, I just got a coffee, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I just drink out of a straw? If I've been, it's been, uh, like 12 days since my- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 12 days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's though where I think the giving away movies though, why it's tough is because you got to think people that are in their twenties and thirties would never have seen these movies. So then they go back and you're as a movie critic as you just claimed yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're one of the worst ones in the fact that you give away most of the ends of movies.


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[Assistant] That's all it was. And then... And one day he's a pro. One day he's a pro. Pretty wild story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wear it all, this is one of my favorite jackets I've ever worn. I have two of them. I went and got another one, because I like it so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I got a different color, but this jacket I wear probably almost every day. I like a jacket. And this is super light. So it's, uh, you can even wear like, I like even, you know, during the summer when you're like, well, I'm going to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Inside, somewhere that's gonna be cold, like, it's just, it's nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, if I heard you say that word and you go spell it, I would spell it the way the British spell it. I was like, well, definitely O-U-R-S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Who says that? It sounds like a dream came out there, like a drunk maniac right there. He just like, he woke a bear up over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian Bates. Brian Bates? He got a little hundred grand. Someone tries to rob you, walks out with just a bag of change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn it, Brian, Brian, Brian boats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before you read this, ask if it seems like anybody's gonna care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many, is there like a quick answer to that? 10,000. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, alright, well with the Wall Street Journal, okay, you're a good writer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found some hobo writing about it, but I can't find just a solid article about, oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's tough to find. Go to the color blonde test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If people can see this, Larry, I'm colorblind. We've done this, haven't we? Did we do the color test? I don't remember. Not while I've been here. Yeah, here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, so I cannot, so, uh, uh, yeah, we'll get it to the, yeah, did we do it? Maybe we...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I can see, so I see 12. The second one's kind of tough. Uh, I'm trying to think. That, the, I see, is that three? Right there. Second, the bottom one on the second, I do not see a number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like it just pops out. 12 pops out the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What did they let this person work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, it's, yeaah, some of the stuff with his art, like how did they, was he in a hurry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it feels like if you, if for this one you go, well how long was the trial? And they're like 10 minutes and you go, oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just protecting your own privacy. Like I don't mind the, the drawing of it. Like I don't, I think I kinda like that it's, it's kind of old school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I go, that would say that. And then you go, well, that's Tom Brady. You go, well, that's definitely Sylvester Stallone. I'm sure they hung out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Robert Kraft, probably in the back. White hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that that went to where to go is that's the big court, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder, is it, if you're a sketch artist at a police thing, are you just, is that your only job?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like, do they, are they also go work at the fair? Like, you know, is it, is it, you're like grabbing those guys or is it like the guy just sits in a room with a big board and it's just like, when he's, when they need him, they need him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, yeah, I mean, that's the part that's like, so they start being funny or they start being creative, then the artist is gone. But people are still going to want, you still want like, uh, we want to be around each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'll read it. So I'm a farmer, right? And I've got these chickens on my farm. Now, I don't know if you've ever tried to herd chickens before, but let me tell you, it's not easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like the teenagers of the animal kingdom. They just wander off and do their own thing. So I'm out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just trying to round them up and I, and I see one of them making a break for it. It's running across the field, flapping its wings and squawking. And I'm like, hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get back here. But it's, but it like doesn't even hear me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I chase after it, I finally catch it and I bring it back to the coop. And you know what it does? It looks at me and says, I was just trying to cross the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what they're hoping to find on the other side. Maybe they think they're find some kind of chicken utopia. All I know is they never make it. They just end up as poultry in motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But hey, at least they're providing me with some good material for my stand-up comedy career, so I guess I can't complain too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, but I think that it is bad, but it's, it's, it's, uh, it's how it's presented.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure there's something to it. But it's, I do think a lot of it is, but that's how everything is. Everything is, uh, it's being presented.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's why, I guess people would say stand up though is like you, you say the same stuff over and over again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like that's, but that is the, the art of it is like, you know, cause otherwise you're like, well then it's not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like even like in improv, there's just a run of risk of improv. You're like, you're going to hit a stretch that's, you know, unless they're great, it could be really bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where stand up, it can be bad, but if you get to a higher level, it's like what's hard to get it to. I mean, it's, it's hard to get it to that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's like, is there like fame, like uh, statues and stuff of like, you know, Obama have a weird one, uh, a statue that's like, wasn't great. Like, we talked about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is like, how do you get to that point? It's, it's, uh, it's, uh, it's gotta be, it's honestly someone at the top that does not care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's almost what it's gotta be. I guess I don't know what that guy really looks like, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does look like that. Uh, you know, it's like, it is like, how do you get to that, at that level?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, where you're doing something like that, unless it's like a, I guess it's if it's a small town and I don't know the best story, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you're going to get more and more to that because I don't think people care about anything anymore. Yeaah. I think you're going to, you're going to run into, uh, you know, people just want instant and so there's not, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll take some M&M's. Golly, you get a look at this painting every day as you sell these. I tell you, I used to sell M&M's skittles, but it's out in the woods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll, yeah, I think I'm in Jonesboro, Arkansas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember, Jackson Mississippi, maybe Jackson Mississippi, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something. I'm going out there. Be Funny Tour starts. Special coming out January 31st. Be close to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jackson, Mississippi, Jonesboro, Chattanooga, Columbia, South Carolina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wichita Falls, Texas. It doesn't stop. We'll be out there. Be funny to her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, all right everybody, as always, uh, well, say this, uh, thank you to our sponsors, Athletic Greens, Helix Sleep, Better Sleep, Draft Kings, and Viori Clothing. Uh, don't forget to use our promo code Nate. Uh, and yeah, as always, we love you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're great. Uh, and we will, yeah, we'll see you next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Barghetti, Brian Bates, Aaron Webber, Dusty


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're doing, uh, I wore it with confidence because we, uh, we pre-recorded this, so I do not know what happened in the vanity game. Uh, but you know, I feel...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, it went great, but we still did it. We did it. We're bowl bound. We've already got our bowl


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got World Cup, I'm sure we got nice emails. World Cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we did good. I feel great about it. Celebrate Tristan's birthday, we got Lauren, Nick, your birthday, we got everybody's birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nick helped us with the soccer, so if you also don't agree with it, then call Nick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, aerospace. Anybody, if there's a, some physics or an astronaut that meets Dusty, uh, I want you all, we're doing the, we're doing the quotes. Hey, I'm in, uh, I work in, uh, science and NASA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd imagine the amount of knives that get dug around that place is probably pretty high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I mean, we got next trip to town. Next trip to town. Yeaah. You went down there and said, daddy's gotta do one quick stop. Yeaah. Then it popped up in there. I mean, could you, did they see you put it up there? I went to the bathroom, you know. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. And it was just sitting right there? It was right there. Oh. No one knows the look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So we can say if you're seeing, if you see Dusty about to go into a thing that you imagine is going to be no knives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Under your seat. It's, uh, there, no. I don't think so. I don't know. Maybe we- To hide stuff from Laura?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if we really have one, I mean, you know, some drawers you might have, but I don't have anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, uh, yeaah, I don't know if I have anything that I don't have a lot I would care about outside, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't get, I mean, I just, I think I look at everything as like, ah, we'll be alright. I'll move on. And you know, it's like, you just grabbed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess I don't have anything like that. And so if I had something like that, yeah, there could be something. I, yeah, I don't know, but I don't know if it's like that kind of stuff means, but I don't know. I've never had it. So maybe it doesn't. Do you have something? You have something that you like been passed down or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, let's start. We don't have any, uh, top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a good lunch. Uh, I hope everybody had a good Thanksgiving. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Alexis Torres. I started listening to Nate Land after I graduated law school. I listened while I studied for the bar exam to make it through 12 plus hour study days. Then listened while I waited three months for results to drop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I recently passed the bar exam and now a licensed attorney. Alright. Thank y'all for making a rough period of time a little better with laughs and positivity. Alright. Congratulations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I get, then I was like, oh, it's like a mafia kind of thing. You're like, oh, I didn't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah, it was great. It was, it was very fun. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I thought Jack Nicholson was coming on at some point, but he didn't show up. That had Gene Hackman in it though, right? Gene Hackman? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, that's the other one that he's in. You can't handle the truth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know where the truth would be. Father Jim Olufson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Past the hordes of tourists at the Coliseum, I can't help but be a bit self-conscious as I laugh out loud listening to you guys. Thanks for all the fun and don't forget to get to church sometime. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's nice. We're being listened to out there. Look at that. Next to that. That's great. That counts as, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of those that I wonder if they were like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should do it. And then you're like, no, they never did that, dude. Like how'd they go get that water? How'd you go keep the water in there? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, football guys, they're like, they have it tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But like, does he have CTE? And you're like, I don't know. I mean, I was stabbed. I don't think it's heads attached anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I think the CTEs went out to look into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine just, and Pete was just going to watch that, you'd go. Would you have season tickets? Oh, I would hate that. I'd be the last guy to want to see that. But at the time, I mean, I know, but think of that time where it's, you know, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the whole everything. I think you're right. The sport becomes a sport when it's like, well, let's just not die out there. Yeah. But people are injured, irrevocable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, I mean UFC like they, uh, I think they say it's better than boxing because the boxing's just your head the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, professional athletes like know this craft. That's so crazy. Right. And so, I mean, there's a level, I guess the sports of that is like, well, you're watching these gladiators and stuff, but I mean, the UFC also gets, they get paid. They get, I mean, again, this is, uh, they're using slaves to do this. Like, I mean, just there's a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably, I'm just scratching the surface, probably a couple different things than this in the UFC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I'd imagine it's still better than the Coliseum. Uh, and we just go look at it. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no idea what they do, but they're on call. That's with cancer, oncology. Oh, that's pretty big. Uh, the other was a gas station attendant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clayton Stevens nailed it. He gets it. He gets it. That's what it's all about. That's what it's all about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jessica Pruitt, after a few amazing days in Nashville, I stopped at a gas station before heading home. Some loser backed into my car, refused to give me his information and got so aggressive, I had to call 911. When the situation was handled, I left the parking lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shaking and upset. I was disappointed by a trip with him on a low note when I turned the corner and saw Nate's giant face on the side of Zany's. I busted out laughing and my mood immediately improved. Nate, thanks for always cheering me up when I need it. Love you guys and the podcast. That's so nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, yeaah. He's like, I won't give my information. They're like, well, we're just going to read the side of your truck that has all the information on it. Uh, that's awesome. So, I mean, it stinks better than your car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sean hates, hates. I went to my doctor to get blood work done. I got a call early Saturday morning around 7.30am from the doctor's office. Telling me to give them a call when I have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Call back when I have a chance. I called them back ready to hear the worst case scenario since it was Saturday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And not thinking about what date it was, all it was was them wishing me a happy birthday. Needless to say, I was happy and upset at the same time. Blood work came back fine. I mean, yeah, that's, that is crazy. And it's also.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if it's like a doctor, like maybe it's a, uh, you know, it's not like a hospital, it's like a- A family doctor. Family doctor, I mean they might-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be most upset about 7.30 AM. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd be like, golly, that's early. Yeah, give it some time. Let the day come on in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said they got a call one day to the station that said if a kid missed the first bucket in Bozo buckets, they need to let the kid try again. Seems nice enough, but the caller went on to say that the Chicago mafia was gambling on how many buckets the kids would make and zero was not an option. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you, it's, you would want to go, why do you not just make zero an option?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then go, well, zero should be an option.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess if it's only three. It better be greater than zero. Yeah. You have 24 hours. You have 24 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I gotta go to, he goes, John, I mean Bozo, he's already in makeup. He's a, he's a, what's the actor called? The method actor. Method actor, Bozo's method. He's already, John, he looks at him with his clown face up. Bozo, sorry. I know you're already in, in Bozo mode. You're in the zone. Did he talk? Bozo talked, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If a billboard went up in Lebanon, Bates family was there. Y'all went to everything. Any, like it was, it's that like bozos come in town. Count us. Titans tickets, like every, you go to every, but I'm just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I know, but you go to every single thing that came to town y'all were at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I don't think much stuff is coming out there, but I mean, if it came...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We make one out of every four shots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to jinx anything, but one side of the court.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the nice cakewalk. We do them at church. Yeaah. Yeaah, cakewalks are fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy though, when you think about it, like going to Lebanon, like some of the people you saw, it is like that, even that new space per person or something, but you are like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you know, especially if someone comes out and sees you and you're like, no one saw us, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's the most famous person from Lebanon? Me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] W- W- AC Wharton, I know. Yeah. You know him? I know him. Wharton Storm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, what's crazy is, uh, hold on, what was the names, uh, I don't, I don't know what names, nah, I don't know what that's gonna say. Give me a clue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I was going to name, I was going to say something, uh, at, uh, reading one of these names or something but I forget what I was going to say now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the fact that you're still, that guy, you just go, yeah, no, me and him were best friends in kindergarten. And just like, after that, you're like, I don't even remember kindergarten. And you're like, no, no, no, we were, we were tight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty much. And that goes plays in the minor leagues. Yeaah. And then you. And then me. Run back to first base. Yeaah. He saw that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Probably remembers it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm 12 years old and I love the podcast and y'all's comedy. Just recently I was on a plane from Houston to Baltimore as an unaccompanied, unaccompanied


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As people who fly for a living, I was wondering if you have any tales of sitting next to weird people or being in strained situations on a plane. We covered that last episode. Erin opened it up with it. Sorry about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Matt Goodell, between Dusty's enthusiasm for ad reads and Aaron's seemingly inescapable laughter during, during, you guys really make them fun. You're one of the few pods where I don't skip the reads. All right. All right. Send that to the, uh, to the sponsors. Yeah. Yeah. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, Jessica Humbert, I had nose surgery last year and I remember waking up from anesthesia being willed out of the OOR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is OR? Operating room. I heard two nurses have a conversation about how I was doing and the nurse who was with me during surgery responded with she's doing great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she got so sweaty that halfway through we had to change her gown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing like waking up from surgery and finding the whole room had to stop surgery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, the nurses, yeah, they don't have that conversation. Like that's right there. She's doing great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I was reading it as. When I first read the, uh, so I started on the top sentence, but I got a little peek of that OR and I thought, I go, it's going to be a little this OR and then it was OR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean just, like, she's just like limp, like limp, just like, and they have to, and they go, you doing alright?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Braden Verner. We were cooking out of my dad's backyard when the song Teddy Bear by Red Sovine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta deal with your dad? Yeah. I think it makes it where like your mom starts crying, everybody's like, your mom's cry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your dad starts going, you're like, oh gosh.


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[Assistant] Oh, how do they even get that into a song? Cause he says. And then he was sad. He's doing, he's in a wheelchair. And I went. You're like, what? Oh, there's the line right there.


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[Assistant] So how does he even know? I guess the key goes, yeah, I heard him. And then, yeah, that's, can you play the song or?


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[Assistant] Men, I think they hold the tears in until you hit your sixties. Then it's like, you just, you're getting 60 years of crying and it all just comes out. And then like, you know, your dad, you just.


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[Assistant] She starts crying, you know, Walmart, you know, he's all fun. He's gone down an aisle. You're like, I don't know what's going on. Uh, Andrew Daltry.


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[Assistant] Dusty reminds me of mad Mike Hughes, who crashed his homemade rocket trying to prove the earth was flat.


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[Assistant] They're both obviously smart but skeptical of widely accepted scientific facts. Fun fact, Mike, or Mad Mike Hughes also set the world record for the furthest full-sized limousine ramp jump before he crashed and died in his homemade rocket. So be careful out there, Dusty.


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[Assistant] I was watching challenger footage this weekend. You have a hat that's got a wolf howling at the moon. Yeah. How do you feel about that?


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[Assistant] Sometimes it looks bigger than sometimes it looks smaller. Why is it sometimes half? Why is it not? Sometimes it goes, I'm not going to show myself. And it's a different color every night.


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[Assistant] Maybe it's cause when it has surgery, it gets sweaty. And so when it's half, they're taking the gown off. That could be it. Yeah. It's a lot of surgery. Where are you going to say challenge?


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[Assistant] So that's not even, that didn't even make you go watch it, you just. It's just every now and then I just wanna see.


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[Assistant] Did, how close was she do you think to the finalists? I mean do you think?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. I mean that's gotta be crazy just to be, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Nate, would you consider writing a book? And if so, do you see your humor translating well onto the page? Uh, no, because it's gonna be me.


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[Assistant] So, yeaah. I, uh, I, I've had, I've had somebody ask about writing a book. Uh, so we'll see. Fiction? If I get, uh, yeaah, whichever one that is. And, uh, that's the fake one. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] So yeaah, uh, yeaah. I've had people ask, so we'll see. We'll see if it happens.


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[Assistant] So why would you say, well this is the fake one, this is the not fake one? You would say like, the-


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[Assistant] The, the two word one should be the one that's having to be like, no, no, we're not real. Don't worry. Like we're, we're the non-real one, but then this real. So here I'm reading real.


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[Assistant] And this is non-real. Cause everything's non- you don't ever go like that's the-


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[Assistant] Uh, business is built off words. And the smartest thing you can come up with is put non in front of it. Right. You can't think of another like thing to go, it's this. Is it fiction or is it fraction?


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[Assistant] You can modify those words. Like fiction and fraction. Like I'm just making that word up. My book's going to be fraction. Yeah. But it should be a different word. I agree.


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[Assistant] You're saying they should have just done it. They have non-scripted. It's reality TV though.


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[Assistant] That's reality TV. And so yeaah, it's like they should just do something like that. Cause I always get messed up cause it's like you don't think the one that says non in front of it is gonna be the truth.


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[Assistant] You don't really hear about the, a book about the truth that starts with, now this is not a, I guess this is not a lie.


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[Assistant] I don't think it should, it just, I think when you look at it, I look at like, if it says not in front of it, I tend to think that's the fake book. Like it's like, this is not, this is not true. And then this is true. Okay.


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[Assistant] Because it's just one. So they, but I'm saying if you did a different, a whole different word, you would never get all mixed up.


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[Assistant] Mark it off. Cause it means the holidays, you gotta start by presents. It's like earlier and earlier.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that goes away once those girls get older. You'd think.


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[Assistant] You think they still do it? I think they still. No, I don't think they do. I think a lot of them do. No, I don't.


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[Assistant] You don't cut, you don't turn your air condition off until after Big Friday because everybody knows that.


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[Assistant] Is that a resolution? This means that they're like, all right, we're good. Like a trial run and now we.


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[Assistant] Right. And then, but you look at me and it makes me feel like I'm the dumb one. And everybody's like, well, what's the answer? And he's like, well, you know, it's something, something. Right. It's like, yeah, it's a 10.


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[Assistant] But you gotta make, you gotta, all the calendar people gotta know. Yeah, that's true. You gotta make a calendar. You know, that's, they're making cal, regular calendars. It's like, some guy got ahead of it. When did they pass this? Or is it a guy's like, already made next year's calendar, dude. And he goes, oh, I mean, then the calendar people get their lobbyists. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're.


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[Assistant] So you're going to be like, today's fun. You go, what are we doing? Thanks. Oh, that's nice.


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[Assistant] There's a plot, like, someone doesn't want Thanksgiving on Wednesday. And he's like, nah.


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[Assistant] Big Friday tomorrow. Super Saturday. And then we're going to do those people. All right.


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[Assistant] A gift of love, like a gift of, here's my something.


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[Assistant] I'd love to meet the man that you talk to the most.


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[Assistant] That's when you probably would've, if you could pick to be alive, right then.


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[Assistant] You didn't have the pressure of buying everybody something.


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[Assistant] I was looking up like future stuff, like phones, like it's, I'm so over my phone and it's, you know, and it seems like they're getting a new phone every year. Like that craze is like kind of over.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Got a few acres up there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You probably are a lot more like than you think. Yeah. And then, but he's like, sometimes it'll be an electronic tattoo.


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[Assistant] It's a lot of ends up being chipped stuff. It's a lot of, it's kind of like, I was really thinking like, what would cell phones be? And it's like, well, you just have chips and then it's going to be so normal that you would be, feel very weird not even having it and like all this kind of stuff. But that's a big thing to have to switch a lot of people to, to be like,


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[Assistant] Just put this like chip in your brain or something and then you're like...


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[Assistant] What? Like, you know, that's going to be a lot to get, you know. I don't think that's as close.


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[Assistant] You never escape your phone and you never escape, I mean- There's no-


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[Assistant] I guess there's pros of, yeaah, it's like, but there's no any, uh, human nature of the fun of life of being like, you know, or like, you know, of originality or all that kind of stuff. I guess you, you would have your personality and so it would just be like almost best personalities would win, uh,


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[Assistant] Our bet would be a lot more, uh, killing people. Yeah, I mean. Cause you're gonna be like, he knows everything I know, I know everything you know, it's like...


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[Assistant] And you didn't go likely odd to me. I know how to not get caught. And then, you know.


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[Assistant] You're just like, alright dude, you're just everywhere.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well this was probably great to have John here. I mean, it's still, but, you know, he was great and, uh,


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[Assistant] That's why I get to stuff, but it's just, I feel like it's a commercial, it's like the stuff where you're like, I can't be seeing you. Top Gun 2 is where you saw him recently.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I just, yeah, you're like, I just can't be seeing you too much. Like, and I think you gotta be, once you cross into commercials, you're like, I can't see you every day. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Elrond, look, I mean, they might, cause it's, you know, Harp is 10, you know, Elrond is 1, uh, yeah. I mean, by then, who knows. Well, I was even getting, I was even getting,


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, they could be, I'd be, I'd have to be 143. Be tough. It's been done.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think I had a He-Man. I think I got one big. Yeah, He-Man.


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[Assistant] Because you always end up, you end up having the time on holidays where you're like, I just want to get out and you can. Oh, you do like it? Yeah. Okay. I mean, I feel bad, you know, people have to work there, but it's like, it's the idea that you're like,


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[Assistant] Movies, it's a big day for movies, right? Movies are super fun. Yeah. You go do something, it just feels, you're like, you really feel like we're all off. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, I like going to play. I'd like, I'd rather, uh, go somewhere. So brick and mortar. See it. Yeah. Yeah. Brick and mortar.


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[Assistant] I can't believe they just didn't trust that you were a guy being honest with a will.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think they sell luggage piece by piece.


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[Assistant] They should have some, they should be able to not mail it out. You should be like, Hey, my zipper and my wheel came all right.


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[Assistant] I think they're usually a button on the thing. Usually, yeaah. I'd throw that away. Walk around with it for a while.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't like it either. Yeah, yeah. Figure it out later. But I do think it's kind of, they weren't completely wrong. For a man like you to walk in with a random wheel.


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[Assistant] He just thought, boy, I'm just going to throw that other wheel away, I might as well take it back out with me. And then they see you build a suitcase. This could be true, this could all be true.


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[Assistant] So go buy more. I figure you'd just be like, you could go in there and boom, boom, boom, just buyin'. I think someone a little faster, I thought would spend more. Depends on what kind of store it is.


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[Assistant] What's going on in there? I used to too. It's crazy. You're on the road. You're just like, well, I don't buy hats like you, but I would, I would always poke in to see their vanity section.


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[Assistant] And I haven't done it cause I just don't know if I've seen a lids, but if I did see one, I still go look and see what they got in the panty section.


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[Assistant] I don't get that far, I just look at- cause I was always so mad that the vanity section was in the back and small and-


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[Assistant] They would always have some, but I mean, it's like, they're like, eh, you know. You'd find some, I'd find some really cool hats there.


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[Assistant] That's what's crazy. I think they caught him, right? I don't think they, I don't think they, I don't think they ever had, I think they never tested positive for it at all. I thought they, I think everybody else got caught.


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[Assistant] And I mean, you imagine, yeaah, just, it's the, your fegatard embarrassment, I mean, you're barely making it in there.


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[Assistant] This is what people want you to do to them.


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[Assistant] They don't try it on there. I would think you're buying it to just be like...


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[Assistant] I mean, it's good that the person wants to wear it, but I would think, pardon me, like in the scenario that they're buying it out of your trunk, I would say, I would be just, I'd kind of be like, yeah, I'll just give it to someone.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Is it, how much would it cost? $13,000. No, $224,000.


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[Assistant] We're going to have a live swan. Yeah, the swans are live.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, your house would be so loud. Your house would be a nightmare. I mean a nightmare.


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[Assistant] There's a little bit of everything out there. I think I would like to see, uh, you go get all these things. Dusty. Yeah. Just to, how you got it, you know, cause I think the swans would be, they'd come from who knows where.


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[Assistant] Yeah, let him swim out. I mean, if I'm near a lake, I'll let him stretch your legs. Yeah. You walk your dog, don't you? Gotta walk the swan. Yeah.


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[Assistant] He was like, I got chip in it. He goes, we'll get a chip in that swan's neck. Tell me, let me know how that goes. A little different game in the swan business. Yea, you can't get it wet. Can't get it, the chip wet.


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[Assistant] I don't know. I don't know if there's a hot toy. It's like, I mean, the toy stuff is probably...


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[Assistant] I mean, if they're, get Harvard's edge, it's like, you give them, they want money to buy.


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[Assistant] Some game or something like, you know, you get to a phase of, I don't know what big thing you get them like, yeah, she's not gonna, we're never gonna get her like.


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[Assistant] I mean, the point of like, she could probably be saying I want this stuff and she doesn't, she's just saying I want something, but it's, uh, yeaah, I think you could.


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[Assistant] Yeah, boys, I think you can like, I mean, I mean, and the girls that are into it, but like gaming systems, you know, I got the,


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[Assistant] PS playstation VR one year, but it's been cool. It's been, I mean, it's crazy. Uh.


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[Assistant] But it's like, hey, you know, she doesn't play it a ton. Uh, the VR is crazy. I think it's the craziest thing I've ever seen. That's the future of like that you would see stuff.


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[Assistant] Get wild where you can like. The metaverse? Yea, I don't understand the metaverse. I don't know what it means.


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[Assistant] So you wear VR and you just like go to work or you go to...


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[Assistant] It's, but you, you go in, you get off your regular life, you put those glasses on, and then you just...


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[Assistant] That's the attitude of a lot of people.


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[Assistant] So then they create a whole new world. That's what's crazy. It's like all this stuff that you're like, well, I want it now. You're like, well, you can go get it. You're like, no, no, no. I mean, I want it.


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[Assistant] I want it now. They're like, alright, well, and then it's, I guess trickier.


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[Assistant] I put in the time. There's a lot of, I mean, you see that with comedy, like, wow, you know, I did the time and you're like, that's nuts.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, I don't even know if there's, yeah, there's part of you that you could even like, it should be way higher than that. It will.


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[Assistant] Even the word lie is weird because you're like, I mean, someone gave you something. So how could you even be like, uh, you're like, do you like it? Maybe you're like, oh yeah, I love it. You're not going to use as much, but you're like.


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[Assistant] I'm not really lying. Like it's like, maybe it's not exactly what I thought, but I'm not mad at them. Yeah, lie is too harsh. It's like, you just go, yeah, yeah, no, it's awesome. Maybe I'll use it. Maybe I'll never use it. I'd imagine most things we all buy. I mean, look at how much stuff's in this room. It's like, you're just not touching stuff.


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[Assistant] That's a, like a minimalist life, like you get it where you're like, I've been trying to, I've been really trying to do it on the road with packing.


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[Assistant] Is just get it down to what exactly am I wearing? And outside of show clothes, but it's like, like when I travel, you go, I'm wearing this. And if I just had like,


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[Assistant] I wear golf pants, you know, like you wear what I, like I have these certain things for in these situations and I wear these every day and just be like, that's what I'm wearing. You should be able to pack.


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[Assistant] I don't change, well the show stuff is, I leave a lot of them on the bus. But the show stuff I have, I mean, you know, like, the show stuff I do think, it's, the shows are big now, like, so it's like, you know, you wanna dress.


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[Assistant] Accordingly to that and, uh, and it's fun to, you know, do that, but it's like, yeah, then I get done and I put just golf stuff back on or, you know, you could have one pair of jeans, maybe because occasionally you'd be like, eh, I've had a little bit recently. I got golf stuff on now, but it's like, uh, where I've been like, I could, I could wear some jeans. Like you just feel like you want to wear some jeans.


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[Assistant] And you know, you feel like too dressed down, but we're also going to like, uh, what am I doing? I think dressings could be a big thing.


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[Assistant] That's what it could hurt. Cause dressing up feels good.


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[Assistant] I think it does feel good to like put something on, like if you go to work and you put a suit on and you're like.


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[Assistant] You go out and you're presentable and you're, you feel good versus like if you get, everybody gets too dressed down, it gets too comfortable, it gets too like seeps in your mind that you go, I'm not being productive cause I'm too com, you know, the idea of it is you want to be comfortable. Like this part of you wants to like, I don't, you


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[Assistant] Yeah, you can, you can, you can wear stuff that doesn't look sloppy.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I could see, like I don't, uh, I'm always thinking about it. Dressing up has been, I've been thinking about that recently.


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[Assistant] I think you should dress, like yea, like if you go, in a lot of places, LA is the king of this. So LA is, you know, no one's really dressed up, people are wearing.


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[Assistant] They're dressed down a lot. Uh, and that's the vibe of like California versus New York is, you know, but I think a lot of stuff is leaning to that. You know, you can get away with a lot of golf stuff now and you know, golf stuff actually does look, you know, you can wear a collar, you can tuck it in, you can have a vest. Like it looks kind of nice.


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[Assistant] I like all of it. So I get it. But it's, yeah, I think you should, I mean you should dress up better than you're going to dress.


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[Assistant] There. I mean, it's that fake confidence. You don't want to go show that. Like I don't think that's a good- I don't think people like that.


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[Assistant] Alright, I don't know if people do. I don't. I don't like it. I wouldn't want to fake confidence. Like if I was dressed like this and you interview for a job for me and...


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[Assistant] You know, it's like, I would probably be like, yeah, you should come in a little more prepared. Cause you're...


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[Assistant] Be a part of the team for a while before you come in and you're, can dress down a little bit. Like it's like, don't just act like...


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[Assistant] You know, now some people might be like, dude, don't just dress normal like me because I'm not comfortable with it, but I would at least want to know that you're, you're thinking about, uh,


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[Assistant] You know, that you want this job and like you're not taking it like, it's, I need to know that you're not a loose worker. You know, before you, I would then be like.


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[Assistant] And you can even, look, you can wear, I mean, clothes Missing in Maine that we did, like that's a athletic shirt.


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[Assistant] You can just wear stuff with collars or like, you can even dress, you know, there's even a world now too, you can dress cool.


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[Assistant] So you can wear something that's super comfortable, but it's kind of stylish and it looks kind of good. Like I have like, uh, Travis Matthews.


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[Assistant] They have some jeans and like this button down shirt and I wore one of their shirts underneath it with it unbuttoned.


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[Assistant] And you're like, I got dream jeans and I'm gonna shirt this when their hat's on. You're like,


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[Assistant] I mean, you kind of look stylish, like you kind of like, you know, and stylish is like, oh, that's good. Like you're in a time now where you can be stylish. I think back in


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[Assistant] The older days is like, you had, it was much stiffer, like suits are not comfortable and all this. They're making stuff so comfortable now that you're...


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[Assistant] Can be like, yeah dude, just, just even put any kind of effort, just look cool. And then that's like, you know, or, you know.


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[Assistant] But did you have like your first, uh, like few months you would at least dress up a little bit?


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[Assistant] But at first you're, you know, it's like, hey, if everybody's dressed, if, if people are not wearing a suit, you're like, I'm not going to wear a suit cause it's weird. Right. And I understand that, but you're like, I'm going to wear, I'll wear like a shirt and a button down shirt.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's, it's, yeah. I mean, you know, the guys have the right mindset and you're like that guy, you know, but it's, yeah, when you're waiting tables, it's a little different. But even if you go in there, you should look.


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[Assistant] It's not a bad. I mean, yeah, that person's at a clubhouse. So some of them might be like, yo, this ain't the vibe, but, but in their head they think, well, this is a private golf course. And then that was the


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[Assistant] Yeah, I like it. I think men like dressing up. You know, it always comes off like it's a woman's thing, like the women like to dress up. But I think men like to, if you, you know, it's like, now if you had to do it every day, you wouldn't like it. But it's like, when it's like, no, you could wear a tuxedo. I think most men are like, ah, it's pretty fun. I don't ever wear it.


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[Assistant] I think you're right, and most men probably don't dress up because


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[Assistant] Someone's gonna be like, what are you wearing, dude? And that's why most, so you either have to do it, uh, ironically. Yes. Are you, are you, are you looked at as like you're a jerk? Like you think you're better than me, dude? Like you're like, ah, you're the worst. And so like, that's why it's that.


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[Assistant] That never happens. And you go, that picture looks good. Yeah, it's probably the only picture they have. Exactly.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause a dude would feel very weird. That is true. Wow. That's cause a guy would be like, if you had to go get a picture of myself, you would be like, I don't have a picture of myself.


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[Assistant] They go, they look into it, I'm not trying to get too involved in your life, uh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, girls could do it and it's like by themselves and you're like, oh, that's nice.


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[Assistant] I got my buddy Kevin Morrow, my buddy Kevin, I know him and my dad's phone number, and Laura's phone number by heart.


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[Assistant] I was thinking of it with my three numbers that I know by heart. Like if I went to jail, it's like it's, I have all the options covered. So it's like I got my wife, if I'm not, you know, and then I got my wife and dad. So you're like.


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[Assistant] Can't be my fault while I'm in jail. And then I got Kevin in case it is my fault. Like, so you have, you at least got, you're like, everything's kind of covered to be like, who do I need, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, and they go, alright, what's her number? And then you give it to em, and he goes, what?


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[Assistant] No bye. Bye. Louis J. Gomez called me once.


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[Assistant] I was like, I don't even know what to do, Louis.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well I sent him to Carla, Big J's ex-wife.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I was like, let me call Carl. Uh, you know, and I'm like, I don't know how to call you back. I don't know how it all worked, but it's like, well, he got out. So you got out. He's doing good. He's doing great. He's doing all right.


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[Assistant] All right. All right. We did it. Well, hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Uh, and this week I will.


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[Assistant] Tennessee games. Oh yea, it's Wednesday. Huntsville. All that stuff.


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[Assistant] Uh, maybe it was this year, but it was, uh, it was, I tell you what, I love some of these places you go. Roanoke, Virginia, like they were, uh, Asheville. I mean, they're all great. Uh.


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[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


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[Assistant] Oh gosh, hundreds. So, but you know, the, the silver lining of that is I'm not going to look at any of them. You know who does have to look at all of them? Brian. Yeah. So you have fun sifting through those Brian.


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[Assistant] It looks cool. Thank you man. I love the freedom of, I was talking about this downstairs. I love the freedom of sunglasses. Yeaah. I don't know where I'm looking at right now. I'm not looking in the eyes. You know, I'm like a poker player. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] No, I don't do it in a creepy way. I don't do it in a creepy way. I just, you know, eye contact can be awkward sometimes. I'm not used to looking across the table and seeing dust.


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[Assistant] Mid, mid podcast. I might do it. I might do it.


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[Assistant] I mean, I was there. It was great. It was great. I said that. Yeah, it's his best. It's his best hour. I think for sure. Yeah.


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[Assistant] So does she think she was buying shirts from Hardy? I guess so. He just happened to have a pop-up shop.


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[Assistant] You know, micro from dirty jobs? Yeah. He started on those home shopping networks and I read a whole thing he wrote about the interview as he walked in and they just gave him a pencil and they said, just talk about this. Talk about this as if we're selling this on the network.


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[Assistant] The, uh, the stores where, you know, you've seen like the Genius Bars, there's those big open stores. What they'll do is they'll deliberately leave their laptop a little too closed like this. Yeah. So that when you walk up to it to look at it, you have to adjust it and touch it, forcing you to feel the quality of the product.


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[Assistant] But do you, do you do that? I've, I've heard a guy who was here and talked, a comedian said when you have your merch set up, you don't want to put the, the piles don't want to be too neat on the table.


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[Assistant] Because that will discourage people from grabbing it and looking at it. You want it to be a little.


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[Assistant] A little scruffed up so people are more comfortable.


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[Assistant] Okay, you do the exact opposite of everything I've been told how to do. But it's working alright for you.


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[Assistant] What happened to the window? Did you ever figure it out? It just spontaneously combust.


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[Assistant] It's fun. It doesn't matter. It also helps that David Tell was in the main room. He sold out all his shows. So I had a lot of people.


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[Assistant] I had a lot of people go, I couldn't get tickets to Dave. I'll check out this guy. And it was at least a third of good of a show.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think so. I tried to get it there. You talking about this just made me think I had a plumbing problem at my house. This was last week. And, uh, my wife was in the shower upstairs and it's just, what's up?


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[Assistant] You know, between eight and two PM or something. So I just wait and they finally get there. But by the time the plumber got there, the leak had stopped in the wall. Right. And I can tell this guy. Now I'm trying to convince the guy that there was actually a leak because the guy doesn't seem to believe me that there was a leak in this wall. So you can't replicate it.


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[Assistant] I can't replicate. I tried turning on the shower again. I can't replicate it. So this guy thinks you're just hallucinating.


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[Assistant] It was soaking wet yesterday. So he cuts this huge square in my wall and he just looks in and he's like, yeah, I don't see anything, man.


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[Assistant] Give me a call if it starts leaking again. And I go, well, can you put my wall back together? And he's like, well.


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[Assistant] Is that we want to be able to keep an eye on it, so let's just leave the hole open. So there's, you know, it was a week ago. There's still a huge hole. So no more leak though? No more leak. I don't know what happened. I don't know. It'll probably happen again at some point. Was it raining when it happened? It wasn't raining. I tried a lot of things.


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[Assistant] But man, you think it would start leaking after a certain time? Like it just gets tired? I don't know.


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[Assistant] Well that guy just, uh, yeaah, well I wish he would fix the hole in my wall. Cause I don't even know how to start doing that. Just a big hole in my wall. Yeaah. That's too bad. Yeaah, that's alright.


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[Assistant] You're like, I could see it through the wall. There's no stains? No, it's like a white, it's like a white plaster kind of dry wall. But no water stains at all? No, not really. That's bizarre. I mean, I know it was there. I believe in my heart of hearts I saw it.


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[Assistant] But anyway, that's what I've been dealing with. Wow, that's bizarre. I also had another problem where the, uh, all the power shut off in my house and the electrician comes and he goes, well, you can't, he's like the way this house is wired.


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[Assistant] You can't have your lab, you can't have your computer on downstairs and the microwave on at the same time.


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[Assistant] It was just the guys looking at, he's like, whoever put this together is an idiot because I'll just be straight up with you.


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[Assistant] Fix that wall. Maybe all this light stuff will get figured out, but.


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[Assistant] Well the oven, you gotta, takes 45 minutes to eat up. Takes a little longer, but I need to eat now. Urgency.


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[Assistant] There's a little like, not rust, but just like stuff that like, it's discoloration. Like a residue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little patina. Okay.


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[Assistant] I think I'm spelling patina wrong cause I just Googled it and said it's an Italian goat meat.


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[Assistant] Your guns natural. Yeaah, this is Patina. This is what it looks like. Take a look. See all this like disc. It looks kinda old. That's what Patina is.


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[Assistant] I was. No, Universal Studios, not Disney. Not some nerd.


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[Assistant] This all predates Harry Potter world, unfortunately. I'm sure he would've loved if that were the case, but, uh, no, I didn't bring anything home, I think. Okay.


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[Assistant] You step into the Harry Potter world. My favorite part though, and I said this on stage when I was there, is that


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[Assistant] You know, a lot of the employees at Harry Potter World are supposed to be people from Harry Potter. They're supposed to be like, I don't know, the train conductor or whatever. But they didn't ship in British actors.


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[Assistant] To work at Universal Studios. It's just people that live in Orlando, Florida.


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[Assistant] And they don't even try to get in character.


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[Assistant] Uh, it was so much fun, dude. And I'm the only guy here without kids. Felt like a nerd, but uh, I had a good time.


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[Assistant] It's, no, it's a lot of, it's a lot of families with, with small children. Yeah. And they're all. A lot of families exposing their kids to sorcery. Witchcraft. Families giving their kids wands and telling them to cast spells and stuff. Yeah. But they also, I think they know that. Next generation is going to be wild. I mean.


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[Assistant] But my generation is the generation that grew up with that already. So if there were to...


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[Assistant] But there's a lot of weird stuff going on. I mean, Harry Potter is probably the least of their problems. You got Dr. Seuss Village and...


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[Assistant] She said, cause people were asking how the book ended. She said, if you, if you don't have the Bible, if you've read the Bible, you already know how it ends. So Harry Potter comes back.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, he does actually. Okay. Hate to ruin the book, I've already ruined this stuff for listeners before. I didn't know he even went away, but uh. Well, he dies. Okay. Him and Voldemort kinda kill each other and then they come back and then he kills them once and for all. Wow.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Oh guys, speaking of, uh, growing up, growing up, cereal was one of the best parts of being a kid. Did you guys know that? I did.


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[Assistant] And less sugar. The magic spoon variety pack is awesome to try out. All the classic flavors, cocoa, fruity, frosted, peanut butter, zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein. That's a lot.


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[Assistant] And four to five net grams of carbs, only 140 calories is serving. I got the frosted kind, you know? Yeaah. You can just eat that.


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[Assistant] You don't even need milk, just put that in a little bowl, it's a nice little snack. I love a peanut butter cereal.


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[Assistant] Well, you would love the peanut butter magic spoon flavor. I think I would like to. You know why? It's all the amazing flavors you love. Both high protein and less sugar. And I know you're worried about that.


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[Assistant] Off of your order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product. You'll appreciate this. It's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked.


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[Assistant] Remember, get your next delicious bowl of high protein cereal at magicspoon.com slash Nate and use the code Nate to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon for sponsoring this episode.


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[Assistant] So they would send me the question. So you, so Bars would contract out to Trivia Company.


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[Assistant] Well, I don't think this guy's in prison for mail fraud. Maybe this might be one of the better things he's doing.


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[Assistant] You do get paid in prison for your work, but it's not a lot.


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[Assistant] Well, where's the line between, uh, the game being rigged and the, the officials are just bad? Cause that was one of the worst officiated games ever, that game last night.


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[Assistant] You think somebody, so just, let's talk about how this would work. Somebody from the NFL concludes.


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[Assistant] That the Chiefs advancing to the Super Bowl would be.


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[Assistant] Talk to the referees and they say if there are opportunities, if there are any 50, 50 calls.


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[Assistant] See that? Hey Jeremy, that was a masterclass on how to stay calm. Did you hear that?


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[Assistant] Brian challenging dusty every step of the way and dusty remain calm.


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[Assistant] He might've been offsides, but the game was already, uh, the game was already won by that point. So we also don't like Rudy that much.


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[Assistant] Not unreasonable to say it's a top five sports movie of all time, right?


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[Assistant] You don't even go to school here. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty crazy. It's like, it's gotta be Rudy. Yeah. I put. Oh, you're ranking them.


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[Assistant] Moneyball. I've never seen Moneyball. I'll have to check it out. I think we only, that's the only two up there right now.


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[Assistant] Waiting on the next. Remember the Titans? I can't stand to remember the Titans now.


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[Assistant] It's, it's one of those where you watch it as an adult and you're like, Oh God, it's so cheesy. It's so corny.