[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did they put them together? I guess, I don't know. I guess they have to do it that way somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the goal they think it'll be, it'll be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their website says create technologies enabling the transfer of an individual's personality to a more advanced non-biological carrier in extending life to the point of immortality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They think that it's not like biological creatures that are coming here. They're sending robots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, if computers ever get to the point like AI where they're smart as us and become conscious,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, it's called the Chinese Room Experiment, is basically, if you were in another room, there's a guy in that room that spoke Chinese, and everything he asked you, you had a book, you could immediately answer him in Chinese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would think he's talking to someone who knows Chinese, but would you really know Chinese? Hmm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a computer you could program to say, answer everything you say, talk to you, but did they really know what they're saying or is it just a program?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't, but I don't take it the same way on that. Nate and I had a bet years ago. You probably remember this. I said that by 2030, half the cars in Nashville would be self-driving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I still stick with that. Not that you're going to be able to take a nap in it, but I think pretty much every new car made now has some self-driving quality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She'll be right on the end, tail end of it for sure. Eleanor, based on what we said last week, may not even have an opportunity because most gas stations will be gone by 2035, 2040. She graduates high school in 2040.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gets a little, just wiggles, just enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, I lost taste and smell for a couple days. Two of the more underrated senses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you take them for granted your whole life and then you lose them and you're kind of like, what's the point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way things smell and the way things taste. And when that's gone, you're kind of a shell of a person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our friend brought over some, uh, some brownies for us and I couldn't taste them and I ate the whole thing. And I don't know why I was, I'll just keep trying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And then it still kind of felt good and I could remember what brownies tastes like. So like, maybe I'll just think it into existence and I ate the whole thing. I get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it wasn't COVID, I would have been doing shows. Yeah. You know? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've been to a few. That was my wife's first time. And it was freezing cold and sleeting and she still had a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was in the clear already by then and I wore a mask the whole time, pretty much. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guilty, even though I'm fine. I'm cleared by all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I just wanted, I wanted to be able to say that I did. Somebody gave me, gave me flag for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a seven o'clock show? Yeah. That's cutting it pretty close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was in Charlotte at the comedy zone, had a lot of folks come out. Very cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, uh, the headliner dropped out. So like Wednesday, I got the call and then Friday I was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's my first time headlining a weekend there. That's a big club. And I think, oh, I have the weekend off and then I get the call. Oh, my weekend's very different now. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I opened, two years ago, I opened for John Lovitz there, and uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's on stage and he's doing very well and I'm in the lobby and I'm just standing out there just kind of, you know, you're just killing time. And they say there's a crazy woman in the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now what happened was this lady had some kind of breakdown. She went in the bathroom, she locked herself in a stall, she started ripping up toilet paper during the show. So a server heard her screaming and walks in and goes, are you okay? And she's like, uh, she goes, I don't want to talk to a white person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the server goes, oh yeah, okay. And they go, let me leave. And they went and got an African-American server that they went in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she said, are you okay? And she said, I'm being, I'm wanted for murder. I'm on the run from the cops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is her story. Her story is, she's being wanted for a crime she didn't commit. She's being wanted for murder. So she's, she's freaking out. She's ripping up the toilet paper in the bathroom. And they go, well, you need, the show's going on. Like, 20 feet away. Well, here's, here's what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, you need to leave. She's like, I'm not leaving. And they go, well, we're going to have to drag you out. So they get all the female servers to go in there and grab this woman. She comes out. She's white by the way. So I don't know why she, I don't know why she cared about what race the person. She's getting carried out. She's yelling. It's so, it's so crazy. And I'm just staying in the lobby, tried to stay out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're dragging her out through the lobby to kick her out. Her feet aren't even touching the ground and she drives past me and she looks over at me and goes, Hey, you were great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it happened at that club. So it's fun to be back as the headline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how to, I did look up in like the Charlotte newspapers, like murders and stuff, and I couldn't find, I don't know what she was talking about. It was, I think it was drug related, she was just having.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had forgotten about it till I was there and I saw one of the other comics that was on the show and I go, do you remember when that? He was like, oh yeah, dude. I think about it all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's Matt Taylor, the comedian. Clean-up friend of ours, right? Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was a very good baseball player and he had told me about that. He faced Sonny Gray in high school. It's pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody from that era has that same look. You can just tell the mustache, the hair like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well Lucy will do that if she puts on like the, the, uh, the golden globes or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She goes, I just don't, I don't want you around. You're going to ruin my whole attitude watching this. I get that. I'll go somewhere else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never heard you bail out a word like that though, you had chroma white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good opening line when you have the, you know, if you got bad news about the baby. Listen, there's going to be a lot of tough deliveries coming up here. One is this bad news.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think that would be a good job? You could get contracted out by these hospitals. You could deliver the bad news to people because you can do it in a, in a fun way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say, Bryant, you say you have to tell me that I have gout. You throw a gown on, you come in and you have to tell me I have a gout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had knee surgery. I broke bones in my back. I've had a few different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had knee surgery in seventh grade and then in fifth grade, I broke two bones in my back and I had to have a bunch of MRIs done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I broke playing football and then high school. I heard my back again. So I've had three, I've had three different MRI injuries. Yeah. Did you have a concussion? I did have a concussion. I didn't have to get an MRI. Oh, they just said, they said it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I kinda, I could kinda tell what was going on. I was just so out of it. And then I just kinda came to in the, in the, uh, like the hospital on campus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey look dude, I know it wasn't varsity football, but it got pretty intense, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So are you, I feel like we got distracted. No, I did the MRI. It was fine. They did put you in a tunnel. Yeah, yeah, he's fine. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I wouldn't even thought about that. Now if I ever get one, I'll be thinking, I can't get out of here even if I wanted to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they have ones at the zoo. Oh yeah. For animals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coal could have run, see I would have put it, I would have written that as a contraction, so it's coal could have run.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get down to 200 would be great. 200? I haven't even thought about a goal. The best shape of my life was summer between junior and senior year high school. I was 215.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was big, but I had been lifting weights for football and stuff. I was just built completely different. But 215 was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know it at the time. I thought I was not doing well. Turns out it was the prime of my life. But if I get back down there, that'd be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, job out of college. I put my resume up on there and I applied for it and get it all through here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's legit, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never had to. I don't know if I've been even a passenger in a car that's, that's a manual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if one day your kids have to drive an automatic? Are they going to know what to do though?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's like the tooth fairy now has given out 20, 20 dollars all this time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not getting those, but I remember a dollar. I was pumped about a dollar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You tell me you used to tour and open with Bill Hicks, right? Oh yeah. And you tell me when you'd be waking up to play golf and then. Yeah, I'd pass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a moment like that with you, Henry. I don't even, you probably don't even remember this because it felt so routine for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were, I was opening for you at some theater somewhere and you were on stage and you were just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, alright. Tonight, Wednesday night, January 12th, I'm headlining Zany's in Nashville. Bates is on the show too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Athletic Greens is giving you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five green, five free travel packs with your first purchase. Visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate for a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. That is AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you to Viori for sponsoring Nate Land. We all got some of the new fall collection. Uh, we do love it. Uh, get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori dot com, VioriClothing dot com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get up to 30% on fire pits right now and use promo code Nate for an extra $10 off. Go to solarstove.com and get $10 off with code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm Nate Bargetti, Braun Bates, Aaron Weber. Uh, welcome, you know. This is it. Aaron, you were it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no. Uh, yeah, welcome everybody. We're, uh, we're back here. We're in it. Doing it. Trying to think. I mean, I guess we have, yeah, I was on the road. Everybody's on the road. No?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Titans. Man. It's pretty frustrating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This really hurt. It really, I was like trying to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think about, I was like, I was almost thinking like, well, if I was a Packers fan it would hurt worse. Like, I was like trying to make myself feel better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, well if you're the Packers, I mean that's brutal. Brutal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you don't know if he's even coming back, Aaron Rodgers and like, so like, I was like trying to be like, well, at least we're one less than that. But we, but I mean, we, it's, it's, it's, it's tough. It hurts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean, it's, it's, uh, yeaah, there was, uh, I saw some, I got some of those, I mean, it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was crazy. The playoffs were unreal. Yesterday was, I mean, two of the greatest games I've ever seen in my life. Every game was great. Every game was unreal. Uh huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they're not children out there and they're, uh, it's a professional athlete. I agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, I agree that you could try to mix something up and be like, alright, what if we do, what if we don't? I do think that. But it's, you know, but I also think they can, they know how to focus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a ball game, right? The other team? Probably, cause it's the end of the game. So if you took the time away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one wants to answer it. Yeah. What does that mean? I've stopped everyone! Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta be fun. Yeah. Uh, well, I hope, ehm, if you're a Bengals fan, then congratulations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a heart, I don't know who, I wanted Tom Brady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got a ride in here, I was like, that was brutal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's gone. And so yea, I don't know. I don't mind Matthew Stafford. I kind of root for him a little bit. Uh, being, I don't know. I try to think like who, it's not as like crazy. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Niners with Soder. Eric Stonestreet. Eric Stonestreet Chiefs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chiefs are winning though, like they're like dominant, so it's hard to kind of be like, it's hard to, when your team's not in, it's hard to throw to like your buddy's team that's like, well you're the best team. I agree. So, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soder with the Niners. I know how excited he was. Uh, so that's very cool. So I'm rooting for, you know, I hope him. I just hope the games are good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it was an unbelievable, I mean watching it, like we were, it just, it couldn't even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a crazy game I've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sports section. We'll be right back with, that's what we kept doing, uh, Mike Vecchione, Greg Stone, uh, they have a podcast, uh, Macaroni Rascals, I believe. But I think it's Greg on their podcast, so we would do it on the bus. It's very funny. He goes, all right, we'll be back with, uh, uh, Third Eye Blind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does anybody do it like me by saying anything? You just go like, Oh, that's interesting. All right, everybody. We'll be right back with third eye blood or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it was fun here on the bus. Uh, Sam Hoffman, the smartest guy on the podcast thinks corn grows on trees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The nicest comedian in the world relentlessly makes fun of Brent's health and wellbeing. Brent gives all the listeners information on viewing an asteroid that had passed before the podcast even aired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone decides that now 82 weeks in is a good time to switch up the format of the podcast to change the structure to aimless rambling and then complaining about the aimless rambling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then top it all off, make it a story about a story that someone else told about Leonardo DiCaprio on a different podcast. What a show folks. That is when you break it down like that. And I mean, I just went in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just did something that was else on the podcast. Well, we're back to the old format, so I hope you're happy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my head it made sense, it was like, I think Universe scared me for some reason. The Universe episode. Like it felt like very like, what are we doing? You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 82 weeks in. You know? You just always see what happens. That's why you're never gonna get here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Silver hair thrifter. I am Canadian and it's pronounced toke as in fluke, toke, fluke. A toke is something else involving cannabis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who decides it? It's all arbitrary. It is Canada, like, well we got our own. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure they got tired by the time they got to toke, they go, I don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a lot left. They're having to do it every word in the, and then maybe he said, you sure it's not tooke? He goes, I don't, I don't care at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're in the tees, toke, put whatever you want. He goes, all right, man, you want to call a Canadian? And he goes, I don't, I'm not, I don't want anybody involved. I don't, I should never agree to this. Are we making money from this? Or like, I don't even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can't tell if it's like his life that easy, you know, his life that not easy, uncomplicated. That when you got ideas, you go, you know what? We should put all the words together in a book. And someone goes, that's a good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one ever thought to put all the words in a book. Like now you're, you gotta think of like the craziest stuff in the world to be different. And then it was like, what if we did, what if we just said all the words?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this guy kinda came in, we just went with this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's 2k. Uh, alright. 2k. So it's Tuke. Webster. Merriam. Yeah, I mean, there's no other dictionary either, is there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, we can, you can just make your own. If there's others, then I'll just, we're, we're doing an alien dictionary. We can copy the straight up copy that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they were like, well, what do you do? They go, we talk about them. We just talk about stuff a lot longer. Is that what they said?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that Aaron said Tony Robbins instead of Tim Robbins as the actor in Shawshank Redemption is absolutely phenomenal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking Tony Robbins when you said it, and then I just never paid attention after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should say, nah, that's what I meant. I meant Tony Robbins and Morgan Freeman. And then Morgan and Tim show up and you go, no, no, no, no, no. I wanted Tony.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they go, are you sure? I mean, we thought for sure you just messed up. And he goes, I said Tony Robbins, didn't I?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another one that people get, uh, curious. Never seen Shaoxing. Yeaah. Yeaah, we talked about that. Oh yeaah. Alright. Still haven't. I need to watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll watch it. I watch every Monday night movies. I'm going back to Sopranos right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't they just do more books like that if it works out so well? Short books. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's 50%, it's going to be the greatest thing that people talk about for the history of ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ross Christensen. Yeah, there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're proud of yourself? Well I stopped. I stopped and looked around before I got to the end of that. Can we officially drop Aaron's moniker as the smart one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had to ask Beanstalk what blood pressure is and he had no idea that corn is harvested completely with the stalk. Stalk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He also referred to the fill of dreams town as Dyersburg instead of Dyersville. Ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a helpful saying in the Midwest, a good corn crop should be knee high by the 4th of July. This is likely why they play the Fill the Dreams game in August.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pressure of the blood. And then I would think the person asking would go, okay, I guess that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you press the blood. It's the blood, it's the pressure of the blood. And then you go, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't have corn at Notre Dame, you know? But to even get Notre Dame, I just think they would, you would know stuff like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if it's because you're, you just come from such a high net family that y'all don't even...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're eating the, you're like, I don't, I'm sorry I've never seen it grown. I can tell you, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a helpful saying in the Midwest, good corn crop. You're like, yeah. Oh, well my guy that worked for me. Yeah. He loved that saying. I never, I never heard it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Mandy McKnight. If that was a competition to see who should read ads, Aaron came in first place. Lots of enthusiasm. There we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Justin Ratliff, almost got choked at Nate's reaction to Brian's talking about getting kicked at the water fountain. You could tell he thought everyone had the same experience growing up. I'm dying at the idea that the water fountain was like the wild west for Brian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is very, like just, you just like, you're holding off your thirst of going like, I don't know, I should do it today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were just in the, the last big run of water fountain. I guess we, I used water fountains a lot too, but you were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see when I was using water fountains, I could see them being on their way out. You were in the thick of it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was, he was like science. My family did. Yeah. Your family got water from a well?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeah, that's what you're definitely getting kicked at the water. I mean, like you're, you're probably looking at it too long. You're so blown away by it. Fresh water! You're like, mama, today at school, you turn this knob and this water comes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I swear. I ain't never seen nothing like that. Look at this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think the way he talks could just be because his brain and mouth are not working at the same speed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's something I experienced and was even sent to speech therapy for as a child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With, uh, Julian McCullough, who's with me this week, who's with me this past weekend. But we were talking about it, it's like, yea, it's like how you like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get, it is like your brain's faster than you actually can say. So when I'm reading, I'm reading super fast. Within my mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a family physician, uh, Dr. Bernard Alpidus. Alpidus. Alpidus maybe? Alpidus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a family physician. Triage is a medical term to assign urgency to patients. For example, a patient with chest pain will take priority over a patient with a runny nose. I like that Nate thought it meant the third time coming in. That actually makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I say that? Here we go again. Every time he comes in. Got a triage. This guy won't leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got so irrationally mad at Nate's inability to understand the Taco Bell membership.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would not be required to only order one taco at a time. You would be able to go and add one free taco to whatever else you were ordering. For instance, I like order number six with a large Baja blast and also the free taco that my membership allows me to get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way he is only able to understand this is, I'm only allowed to order one taco as baffling to me. I would expect more out of a fast food aficionado such as yourself. I think I gave up on some of those middle. Aficionado.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aficionado. Aficionado. Oh, that's right. Uh, yeaah, I think, I think it kind of meant, what are you saying? Maybe it wasn't coming out. Again, I think we have AEDHD and not dyslexia. We just found out from Izzy. Uh, so I think I'm ahead of the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know, yeah, it wasn't like you could go in. That would be very funny. It would be hilarious if you go, I'm starving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like one taco. Then you have to go stand at the end of the line. You come back. I'll take a number six with Baja Blast. Like that would be, I would do it because that's hilarious. The Taco Bell made you do that. How much is a taco? I think it's gotta be a dollar. A dollar forty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd have to eat ten. Ten times. Ten times. It makes, it's not a good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a good system. I agree. That doesn't make sense. One free year, you use your time alone. I mean, I'm saying unless you are, you go, I eat Taco Bell every day and then it's going to save you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you would have to get it free taco every day. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we have like, yes, you're saving 20, 20 bucks. So like, are you going to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it worth saving 20 bucks to have to go eat taco to make sure like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Right? That's what I'm saying. You're giving them a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're doing the opposite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you talking about? I think getting them a job at Taco Bell would be the fishing pole. I think you're just getting them a free taco every day. You're basically like, come here every day, I'll give you a fish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, come right here to this bank. I catch fish every day. I'll give you a fish to eat. And then he goes, okay. And then the point of it is to be a fisher pole is like the means to like then go get, it's not like he goes, you know, I started getting this free taco. Now I work for wall street.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if he, if he works there, then he gets a job and he probably gets a free meal and then he goes, when he gets his employee free meal, I'll also take one extra taco. That's a fish and bowl. The job. The job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's soft. So, uh, what did Ken Jennings do? Did he have to leave? He didn't have to leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so they're saying even like Kenny Jennings shouldn't have that record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how we need to go back to like people making dictionaries. Like that was a time where like you was at least bringing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, do people just write stuff now that's like, they write, you know, like what do you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he shouldn't be doing it. Back to Five Way. Why would you write the article about Ken Jennings though? Like why would you not? I guess he didn't think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it doesn't, but I mean how many streaks have we had and the fact that it's been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's not, I mean, she's not even, she's almost half or she's a little above half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if they can't do it, then you're like, well, like, it would be one thing if they're, if it's all like 38, 40, and like everybody's kind of doing it. Other than that, you're like, people are not doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think more people will watch a streak than they will go in to watch Jeopardy every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're talking about Jeopardy now. Versus, if you don't have this happen, you could be like, oh, I thought Jeopardy was off the air. Didn't he die, Alex? Like, so who's doing it now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but Alex Trebek is the, you know, it's like these shows do well for a long time with like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have a person there that's like been there forever. Like it's, it's, that's why there, you know what it is. Yes. The shows, it's a simple idea. You can have it on every day. I'm not making fun of Jeopardy, but I think the streak gets you talking about it. I don't think we'd be talking about it. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the, but that was so long ago that Ken Jennings, I mean how long ago was Ken Jennings thing? 20 years ago? Close to it. So for 20 years they haven't been doing it. So, I mean how long were they doing the 5 Ways Before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's being like, they've changed this rule for a reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then now it's being like, well now the second person, it's like, well what if we do go back to the old way? The old way might be a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. 30 years later. You go, okay. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now we're getting, this, now the article makes complete sense and I'm actually on board with this guy riding it. Uh, alright, uh, the long spring. That's, how do we even get into all that stuff after Taco Bell?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like trying to figure out where we were in the comments. I'm like Taco Bell to Jeopardy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'll party till I puke. Yeaah. I could see it being a Saturday, you know. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About the best way you could say it. Like I would think it's a teacher that's like, I get it. And I'm not saying don't wear it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, I got the same shirt. Yeah, I got the same shirt at home. This is Tuesday. This is Tuesday. It's not a Saturday shirt. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tracy Thielman. Thielman. Thielman. T-H-E-I-L. Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm an English teacher in New York and one of my favorite lessons is one I do on dialect as a literary, a literary technique. We go through color coded maps about the different terms people use for various things throughout the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even within my class of small town central New York, students there are fun disagreements. When we get to bubbler versus water fountain, it always makes my 11th graders laugh. I can now add toboggan versus beanie to the list. Thanks for the laughs and smiles every week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Colder nights are here and when we can, we have a nice fire with our friends and family making s'mores over our solo stove, uh, neighbor Felix. He had his solo stove the other day out, uh, when we had the big snowstorm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, solar stove, uh, you know, we have a fire pit in our backyard and solar stove is better than that. It's better than a fire pit. It just doesn't, there's no smoke. I mean, that's the biggest thing. It has been great. Uh, we're getting rid of our fire pit actually. And we just need a solar stove gun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no set up, just unbox and enjoy. It becomes your own fire pit. A little fire started wood and you can have a nice fire quickly. We have the bonfire version with the stand. It burns down to white ash. Uh, super easy to clean up. Uh, it's the perfect catalyst for getting outside and spending more time with family. The fire looks awesome. It's very, you know, it's a, it's a real, it looks like a real, you know, like a good, good fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A good fire means a lot. The way it's like, it kinda keeps it all st- together. Oh yeaah. And it looks very nice. Uh, slow stove fire pits are brilli- brilliantly engineered, made with premium grade 304 stainless steel. Which we know that's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And 360, uh, 360 degree airflow system that maximizes efficiency while minimizing smoke. Easy to light with a few bits of starter. Your fire is blazing in minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shop now and get up to 30% off fire pits all month long and use promo code Nate at checkout to get an extra $10 off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got a few new things for the winter months. Laura got the performance jogger, uh, with the halo hoodie and she says it's, it's super soft. I felt it. It's great. She wears it all the time. I got a, the performance joggers that I wear all the time. Uh, you two, y'all got stuff. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Vioria is a new outlook on a performance apparel. Perfect if you are sick and tired of traditional old workout gear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Workout gear is stuff that you're wearing more now. Uh, people wear it outside of working out just to go do stuff. And uh, Viori looks very good. Viori can be worn for just about any activity, running, training, yoga. But it's, I mean, like we said, you wear it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To go out. To go when you run around during the day. You look nice. Uh, I see people wearing, uh, stuff and it looks great. The website is very easy to order from, not cluttered or busy. Uh, order something today. Viori is an investment in your happiness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our new partner has a product I've started using every day. I had it, uh, today before I came up here. We all had some. We had some. Uh, I started taking athletic greens, uh, you know, like I don't eat the best. It's a way to get all the vitamins that you're supposed to get, uh, and just pound a drink. Makes it super easy. Laura made them. She made us all one and then we just pounded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she got you going. Uh, it's, it's just good to like, you know, you got like taking vitamins. Uh, it's just nice to like, you just, you know. You feel better afterwards. You do feel, I felt better right away. Uh, you just, it is, you can tell that you're like, all right. Yeah, I'm doing something right. It's like listening to your body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to be more healthy like I said, so it's a great way to start the morning. The taste is great, easy to start your day with it. One scoop, I do one scoop of powder with water, shake and drink. The travel packs are great for when I'm on the road. Uh, contains less than one gram of sugar, no GMOs, no nasty chemicals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now, it is time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially heading into the flu and cold season. It is just one scoop and a cup of water every day. That is it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All you have to do is visit Athletic Greens, athleticgreens.com slash Nate. Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash Nate to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just went, so basically you just went to whatever country you're most scared of and go, well, who do I think is going to take over? And I'll learn their language. So I'm at least.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so this week, uh, yeah, we were, we're gonna talk about, uh, people like- I'm gonna take Canadian. Yeah, there you go. I mean, when'd you think of that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. I was hoping at least it was right now. The fact that you said on it. I liked it. I'm gonna take American. Like I don't, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like a. Like CH? Like it's, or SH?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grocery. The grocery store. Grocery store. Grocery. Grocery, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your first joke was like when you opened with the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want something that murders. Alright, alright, I'll do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, most, a lot of people say Laura to her, and we, it's Laura. L-A-U-R-A.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but she says it Lara. So a lot of people say Laura. It's Lara.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you call- She's educated. She is educated. That probably, educated probably throws you out of the South.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she's lived in- Like it's like if you go to, I would think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like you, they're not gonna be, they might, you say stuff proper, like you talk, you gotta talk to people that like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And say, sir, can I help you with some of that? You go, well boy, come on over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, yeaah. Freeway. But it's so interstate. I always hit that. I'll change that. That's the one that you change. I'll sometimes change in my act.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I think I'm, I'll just say freeway for some reason. I'll just think like, well, if it, not that it really matters, but if you're like, if the joke doesn't really, I don't really care about that word and I just want to make sure you can picture what I'm picturing. Yeah. So I'll say whatever word I need. I need, I want you to hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if I think you think, I think if you think freeway, and I've actually thought about interstate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In highway. I don't know if I even say freeway, I might say highway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So then I'm like, so I need to probably go back to interstate. And I think I went back to interstate, but I'm just picking the word that when I'm just trying to make you picture it. So the word doesn't really matter. I just need you to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just painting the picture. So whatever makes you, you know, it might not be the word that I say, but whatever word helps this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's like everywhere. I think that's the biggest mistake we make is to adjust.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're doing a show there and people are there to see you, they know, like they're not dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People like get it. And it's not saying that they're like, everybody kind of has that feeling. I think there's a feeling with that everywhere. Everybody thinks everybody's dumb. So they think no one, no one's going to know anything. And I'm saying, I think Canada feel that they come here. We all like have that feeling. I think it's probably one of the big problems in the world right now is everybody assumes everybody except them is dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're gonna go, actually everybody's actually very, very smart and people are not dumb and majority of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can wrap our head around what's going on. And so if I'm laughing at your jokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go ahead and do your jokes. I'm not, I'm here. I'm not going like what is that? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is a Walmart? You don't have like a gas station. What's a gas station? Then you have to walk out. Cause you're like, I didn't get any of it. Like if they're, if they're there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just assume, there, I always assume my dotting is smarter than me. So, I mean the only thing I could even, where I, if I'm doing anything is to make sure the picture gets painted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it could be, if I'm really trying to make you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Picture this in your head. That's the only time I would, but it's like, I'm not doing it cause, and I have done it. I'm not saying I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Figured that out. And it's hard not to want to do it, but I, you gotta remind yourself. You're there doing comedy. They're not dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, it's your first time going. I mean, honestly, I think everybody has this feeling. I think everybody would, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But not enough, but I mean yeaah. So if you have, if you're, if you're going up there and you're a toboggan heavy comedian, and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're like, hey, my act is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want this to go good, I would say toque. If you want...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To have, because I don't know, but Toboggan works so good. He goes, do you want to sell them afterwards or not? If you're selling them, Toboggan does merch. Say, guys, you want some toques?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, everybody, I mean, everybody thinks, I think that's the, oh, well I think, I honestly think the only problem, the problem with the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you just, like, they assume everybody's dumb, like the vegan thing, they think the South, and this is me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get a little defensive, but I think they have an image of the South that's not a good image. And they, uh, you know, and people just come to the South and they'll be like, what are y'all doing? They're like, someone that came, which is funny that BB gun, I think I said it here, but like guys, like you'll see a lot of guns down there and you're like, that's just like, that's someone now, 2021.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, you're 22. That goes like, well they got a lot of guns down there. Not saying that people do have guns down here, but you're like, I don't see guns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't walk around and just see like it's the wild west, but they, in their head, you're going to picture that. And that's the problem with every, like we all picture, if you go to Canada, you're like, what is it? You know, they're going to be Eskimos. Syrup everywhere. You're going to think whatever you think of it and you want to go, Hey, just assume everybody's as smart as you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go ahead and assume that. That's what everybody should do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every interaction you have, assume the person, assume they're smarter than you maybe. Just assume that. That would be a better, you have a better experience if I treat you with that than if I treat you dumb. And I think most people treat people dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so if you, if they feel they're being talked down to, that's the disconnect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My audience is probably smarter than me, realistically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, I get that I'm funny or something, like I get, I can be creative or whatever, but they are going to be smarter than me. Most people that come to these shows, I'm not going to be able to talk to them about like real stuff. Like I don't, like they're super smart. Like they like have real jobs and like they did stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you're at least showing them the respect, but we don't do that. No one does that. Everybody goes, well, I'm just, I'm the one. I bet the other ones are dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think I've even started saying sneakers just because enough people. That would be one that was like sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I, it's not like you're not too dumb to get it, but if I felt you were going to ask about it, then I would just do whatever to, you know, if like I was like, ah, I went and bought some tennis shoes and I just don't want you to go, what? Why did you, I would just say, I'll say whatever to stop the conversation. Cause I'm talking to an idiot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are just dumb dumb dumb. Alright, go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's what a real abusive relationship is. How often am I really hitting you? You go, I guess not every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it rains and I think my like every day they get it. They always say that they get like just a hard shower. Uh, at some point during the day, they don't stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I've never heard, that's crazy. That seems like a lot. Like if someone said that, that would be like, what's that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it's in the education, the teachers are using it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, the devil's beating his wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what the shirt is. That's what the shirt is. If you, I've been a lot of people that say that, have that shirt on and then there's just a lot of like, whoo, like you have to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just keep, I know one keeps bananas in the cabinet. That wasn't a good example, but would someone ever keep a banana? That would be real weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, can I have a banana? And then you open the cabinet and they gave you a banana. Would you think you would say, you'd probably have to say something and go, you keep bananas in that cabinet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I just think, why not? You never think about it. We talk about, you know, I put ketchup out, might start putting my bananas in, might hide them in my cabinet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got like a, I think Seinfeld used to have a joke, but like some of the eating fruit, but you have about an hour with the banana. Like you buy it, it's like not good. And then you have a window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty quick. It's pretty quick. And I like bananas a lot, but you gotta, you gotta be thinking about them. If you buy them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they go to bad, I think they gotta be on your mind the whole time you buy them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you gotta just be, in the back of your head, it's gotta be like, banana, banana, banana, banana, banana, cabinet. No, that's crazy. That's, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's funny. Uh, yeaah. The cabinet thing's crazy. I mean, they call you on a cabinet a milkshake, cause I think they would even feel embarrassed about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Rhode Island does. How many Rhode Island's is it? How many Rhode Island's will fit in a cabinet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rummage sale sounds like you'd be, oh, you got a rummage sale going on? You're like, it's a little better than that dude. Like it's, you know, I would be offended if someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is this, a rummage shell? You're like, I don't know dude, we're not doing that bad. I got some good stuff here, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Just showing up. I always feel embar- it's always kind of like weird walking up. To a yard sale? Yeaah. You like park and then it's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And like, you know, and you're like, you feel like, well, I got to talk to him. It's like so personal. It's not a store. You're not like a target being like, yeah, man, I'm just like, you know, it's like, it's the guys, these kids are running around. Like, you know, and you're like, eh, eh, and you get a, and then you get a hat, you know, I give you $2 for it. And you're like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I like the idea, I like the idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a hat? Is that what you said? No, I just said two dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say, like, my mom says ire, like for an hour. She'll say ire. Really? We'll be back in an ire. Shire. We'll go take a shower in an ire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's like that kind of- Sounds Irish. There's like a little, there's that kind of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Northern, like Abigail says a little bit like that. So I think we have, that's why my accent is always kind of weird. Like I have, my dad had a speech impediment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not even really, I didn't really get a fair shot coming out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad has a speech impediment. I, and my mom says iron, washer, washer, washer, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you're lucky that I speak the language. The fact that I make money speaking is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's so many times when I am talking on Sage, I'm like, I don't even know how people are like, go, like I, there's times I'm like, am I getting too, I think I'm, it's too dumb or it's too like, people are like, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I mean there's times in my act I'm like, I don't, man are people just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I mean, you're like, you're like, I think they're laughing. Like they gotta be laughing just at you. Being like, I don't know, we're actually like a zoo animal. It's like going to the zoo. It's okay, they'll go feed them in an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do check it before, but then when you get there, you're like, let me make sure. I just, you just like do, you wave, you're just going to touch the, make sure it zips up and go about your day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I thought it was like the youngest, like. The last one. The last one. I'm like, oh, good for them. 30.7 is the average age in Maine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say Alaska, I guess cause you can't get out. It's like they're there, you're there. You thought they'd be the oldest? No, I could see them being the oldest. Like you're not going to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you're born in Alaska and you get like, you have a greater chance of people don't leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though you think like people would move away from Alaska, but I think they love it and they're proud of it. And so like the people that live there, yeah, they're going to stay there forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the most ownership you could have of a state. I feel like Hawaii, Alaska, Hawaii, like those are like, you're, you're your own thing. You're like, this is what I am, dude. Uh huh. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] South in general has like your, you know, I definitely can feel, you know, I was like excited to move back home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you just, but I think New York, I guess everywhere does that, but I would think Alaska and Hawaii's got the most. Cause they're just on their own. But yeah, New Yorkers like that want to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm Julian again that we're talking about. We're talking about moving, like moving back to New Jersey, East from New Jersey or Philadelphia kind of area, but then New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people just want to go back there and like, it's always crazy to me when they think like, I just want to go back to New York. It's like, it's great. You just walk around and go get whatever you want to go get. Like, and you're like, well, that's all they know. They're like, that's what they, that's what they love. They love that. And so it's like, yeah, I get it. But I would think Alaska and Hawaii has got to be the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't talk to my uncle. Sarah. Sarah, can you get my uncle on the phone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's having a cold drink, he said he'll call you back. Alright, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say, I started saying soda and I almost say soda now. I always said coke, but then that was one that I, it's not, it's again, I don't think I was, I was like, I was saying coke. It's like, I'm, it was not enough people knew what that like, and I get it cause I'm, and then I was like, why don't we just say soda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lots of, if you change it just for the jokes, I'm trying to just make it as.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the easiest way to understand what I'm saying? You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I think if you said coke on stage, you'd have to like, make a big joke about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, cause it's not saying that they're, they could get it, but Coke, if you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think, I think they would get it, but it's like, do I want them to even have a ounce of confusion?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if I don't want them to trail off at all, like I don't want, I don't want your mind to go like, oh, I bet he means soda. Like I want you to be so into what I'm saying that I'm just going to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that gets you there. That's not saying that they're done. That's saying I don't want you to distract.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna be distraction. So that's not. Wouldn't you agree? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy. It is exactly that. If I don't want you to be distracted, I'm just trying to get to the point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's not, there's a difference between being distracted is the difference going like, do y'all know what a Walmart is? Like it's like, that's being dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are y'all in the south? Y'all just have guns? Everybody walk around? That's talking like they're dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're going like, I'm gonna say soda, just so people don't. Everybody knows what soda is, and I don't want you to be distracted from the joke. That's how you make a joke really work. You should try it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a lot of, uh, Travis thinks his old man to his dad, the old man's coming, you know. It's a weird, some of it like I don't, we never said that. But then old lady, I think it's funny to hear old lady. I want you to be really country if you're saying old lady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I want you to, I want you to, you have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A truck, you have some land, you live on a, you know, like you could survive on your own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it is, but I want you to be like, I want you to be, I want all that you could live off the grid. If you can live off the grid, then I think you can say old lady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, if you're something like that, if you're, if you're like that, I feel like someone's doing it and you're like, you're not that Southern. Like, you know, you're like, you can't, you can't live off the grid. That's what I consider most, most Southern. You're modernized Southern. Y'all were close. You, I mean, you kind of did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean the tipping thing, I saw someone, it was just like one of those like some fact or something, somewhere in here in America someone just said they just paid the servers and stuff more money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, yeah, I mean, look, I, I mean, I worked on tips. Uh, tips are great. Like that's how I got started. Like I'm not against tipping, but I also am not against like, if you just had it like, you know, just standard or whatever, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or pay, yeaah, whatever it is, if they pay them, and they should be like, as much money as they could with tipping. And then they always make that money. And then that would be, and then, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I would almost, like I, like I like that. Like I like the idea of being like, you're like 20% added to everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could not, tipping's getting now. I mean, it may be not, but I feel like tipping is just like, it's so standard that you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if your service is bad, I think a lot of people still tip 20%. I don't, I don't think you're even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't make a point. It's not a statement anymore. It'd be insane. I mean, you would have to have a fight with the server for it to be zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For you to go, I'm leaving nothing. Like you would have to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, knock down, drag out, fight. I, the only time I've ever done it was with a cab driver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got in a huge fight because they in New York, uh, when you live in Queens, if you got a cab from LaGuardia to go to Queens, they would be furious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they wanted, they, they send that long line to wait to go get a fare to New York. So they, and like, I, I understand it, but it's like one of those that you're like, well, what do you want me to do, dude? Not go home. Cause LaGuardia is in Queens, right? Yeah. Okay. So it'd be very quick and easy. And like, so like the dude you would get in and I would get so self-conscious and embarrassed to be like, I'd almost want to go to New York just to get in a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I got out and I was like, I, I tipped zero on that. Like, and I, and I showed him I was tipping zero. Like it was like, it was, I made it a whole point, but it was, it was, but it ruined me where anytime I go now, I don't want to get in a cab unless I'm going to where I think they, New York got real bad with that for a while where you get in cabs. And if you were, if you were like even going home from New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you were like in Manhattan, you're like, I gotta go out to Queens. They, I mean, they, I'd watch, they'd drive away from me. You go, where are you going? Queens. They'd, they'd leave. They'd want to stay in the city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, I would be very, I'm not always just like, be very self-conscious, but like, I know you could be like, who cares? Most people can be like, who cares? It's, but I could never, I was always like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the, there's an ice cream place where you do it all yourself. And they have a tip thing. And that's infuriating to me. I mean infuriating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the only one that I'm like, and I get, like, you know, I talk to Felix, he's like, it's just a kid, like, it's not the kid's fault, it's the store's fault that makes me mad. You're like, I'm literally doing, I'm getting it myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do everything cool until you, I think you're treating me dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you, when I feel like I'm getting your, you think I'm stupid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I, that's my, I'll give you money. I don't, I'll get, I don't, I cannot feel any emotion to, I don't want to be mean to anybody, but if I think you think I'm stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that point you do, cause you go, I mean, I get the cup, I get the, I do this, I do it, I do every, all they do is flip the eye pattern. They, they could technically not just have it turned around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I could put it on this scale and then be like, it's like almost a checkout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing that they do. I guess they clean the machines, but then you're like, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why even have a business then? So I like, I guess we're all tipping to, I got to tip the guy. He's got to clean the bathroom. Like, you know, that's the only one that I.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the hand. That's where, uh, Laura needs to move to Brazil. Where it's just like, who do you think you are? You said it was five o'clock, I thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to go 8.30 and we start at nine, but then your end up starts showing up too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's, I was like, how you doing? That's very funny. The next day?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's gotta be. What a, like a dentist appointment? They call it Moroccan time. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, I might be, it's half hours, like amazing. That's like a guy that's life is put together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the extreme is just the next day. And the fact they have to see you, they would be like, yeah, we got to let them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you're just like, yeah, I'm here. It's Moroccan time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just slippery slope, like your other ego's, might as well just have dinner at midnight then. You go, I don't know, it's only an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like bathroom is like, uh, washroom, I don't like, I like washroom. It feels, if washroom feels a little more, uh, like proper. It does. And so like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm arrested. A restroom. A restroom is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? We have one in our driveway right now. Uh, Porter John. Porter Potty. Yea, I think I say Porter Potty. What do you call the bathroom on the plane?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lavatory. Thank you. Lavatory. Yeah. But you don't even go, I'm going to go to the lavatory. You go, I'm going to the bathroom. They say the lavatory when they tell you, so you know, but no one goes, I'm going to go to the lavatory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can imagine, I can see that. That's the job, I had jobs like that. It's a very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, it's like, they're like, we just can't teach an animal to do this or we would do that. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's most of my job for, like, if we could train, uh, Gorilla to do it, it'd be, like, we would, but it's like, just, you just do it. You, you'd be out of the way. I mean, I were, you know, recycling tires when I did that job is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe the most uneducated person. Just a warm body. Who's not, yeah, who's not bringing anything to the world. No, I'll do it. You can do it in a cave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Garbage can, I've heard yea, garbage can sounds better. I think we say the garbage just gotta go out. Yea. Like you gotta take it to the. We say take the trash out. Take the, well you take the trash out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take the trash out is take the trash out from your house to the garbage can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True. And then you go take the garbage. The garbage has got to go out today. That means you got to roll the... Roll it up to the street. Roll it up to the street. That's a good point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can think of a couple that, Rob Haney, you told me. One- I don't think you, uh, how would a conversation starter, I guess-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so now I gotta follow you in the kitchen. So I didn't, now I gotta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, come over here. You want something to drink?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is how the monkeys do it. And if they, you do it not by the, what is that? The stem? The stem? The handle. The handle. And you do it up at the bottom and that's how monkeys do it. And it's the easiest way to open. I haven't opened a band in the other way in forever and it just goes, it opens. You know, the other one you would, it would sometimes break off or that you just open it upside down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't had many problems with the other way. I bet you've had more problems than you realize. Cause I mean, wouldn't the monkeys who this is their world. Lynn, you know, do it the way they do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not. It's very easy. You can squeeze it and like it just goes and it's the easiest thing ever. You squeeze it? You can do it. I mean Laura, she can bring a banana up here. And I'm gonna show you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, they would always say roll them up. So you, if you roll your stuff, you wouldn't have to iron it. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you, uh, like if you, if you even do a suit, one way I looked, one way to do a suit was you turn the suit inside out, put one sleeve inside the other sleeve and then roll the suit up. And then like it takes up less space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta cause it like on the bus. And so when I pack, it's like, I've started wearing like, you know, it's like, I kind of wear athletic gear, like, uh, like Viori, like you wear, I kind of wear that everywhere. Cause it's like, then that stuff doesn't get wrinkled. And then, you know, and maybe I'll have one outfit if I gotta go. I don't, you know, my life is not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most people have to wear suits or stuff to work, but that's how I pack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Carry on. Well, maybe if you're on one of the smaller, you know, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be a little, I think you fit it sideways. And then I have another one that's could, that could fit in a, if I'm in a regular plane, it'll fit like in a carry on and then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I have a very, then I have a big one. Uh, and so like that's the, that's the system. But I always like leave it. I have one, two, three. I kind of leave it open. I mean, I kind of live in my suket. Like I just, I don't really take everything out. Just kind of, you know, I'll take it out, wash it. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, I just, but I mean, it's helped wearing athletic stuff. It's like, kind of keeps everything a little more simple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] T-shirts, golf shirts, like, I could get like not wanting to, but it's like just kind of easy when it's hanging, you know? Oh, look what we got here. Sister Abigail. So, here's Hal. Hey, everybody. Uh, so this is Hal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's a perfect banana. After you broke off the thing at the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm all right. I always use my hands. People offer me napkins a lot and I got it. I just do this. I don't, I have a weird thing with napkins. Like what? I don't like them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can, I'll use them. I like, uh, I've really used a towel. I have like, like the cotton, like cotton or like a napkin. Like if it, around my teeth gets me like, ugh, like I can't handle it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I have a, we have like at home, I have a towel. So if we ever have dinner over here, I will always have a towel and everybody else will have napkins. I can use napkins. If I go somewhere, I know how not to look like a wild animal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can be appropriate and do it, but I, it's, it's, I can get very like, I don't like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the fabric of a napkin, like it's like the paper, like I can picture if it hits my teeth, I'm going to be like, uh, and so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I would, I use paper towels, but if I mean, if I start thinking about it, then like, but I, but I, I use paper towels, but I'm just wipe my hands off the wet or something. I can, I have to use napkins a lot because you're going to places that that's all they have. Uh, but I mean, if I go to a place and they have a cloth,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, you know, the cloth napkin. I mean thrilled. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it always makes me way happier. I'd rather use a cloth than a paper napkin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could never hold a napkin, my napkins never get crumbled. I fold mine, mine always look kind of, I can't crumble one, that like gets me weird. And so like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd do it to not even, like Laura, do we do it where I don't really mention it to Harper? Cause I don't want her to get the same way. Do this weird thing. Give a shot at a normal life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be a very like person from Lebanon life hack. Like never been traveled before. You're like, this is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they make suitcases that look a little different. You're like, all right, I got one to her the other day. Never heard it. Uh, put a piece of tape to the top of the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you get this person's suitcase too, that they're a picture of, you're going to be the only one with that suitcase. It looks pretty beat up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're, you're like, you don't worry about it. Other people, most suitcases are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, yeah, I understand it. Mine are pretty, mine looks pretty different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but, I mean I get the idea of it, I get the logic of it, I understand it. I think it's, it's uh, that's like someone that's, I think this travel stuff is like once you start traveling a lot, you're like, it's not, you look at like how much time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How, I don't know, it's like how much you got to tie this thing on versus how much time are you really saving? How hectic is the getting the bags in your life that you're like, we got to streamline it or we're going to, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand that maybe you don't want someone to take yours. I've had someone take my bag before I understand that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Airplanes like airlines losing bags. Like I know that happens, but you're like, when someone can play, you're like, don't quit acting like this happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every single time you travel. Pretty rare. It's, it's, I would think you, I don't know if it's once a year for an average person. I doubt it's even once a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so people complain and like they just throw into like, well, I don't like, and so this like, I understand this, but I'm just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're at like, you could also go like how much, if you really look at it and go, are you that upset at, that's why I started shaking my bag a ton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's like, am I that, you know, people are like, I don't want to deal with the people down there. You're like, well, is it that crazy for you? If you really, I travel every, I would travel every week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, now also I travel at different times. That's my life hack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is don't do this. It's try to travel. Don't try to fly out at 6 a.m. That would be my life hack for you. Uh, try to leave at even 9, 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, the difference of the amount of people you're around is crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy. You gotta think, that's, that's my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My life hack on everything is kinda, I look at, I look at the situation, I look at lines. And I look at, cause I can just, you watch people, people just, you know, we talked about the, the experience, experiment, like where the, people just get in line, people just do stuff. If you're just a little aware, you shave off time all day long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then the line is just at the 10 feet mark instead of up against it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, so what I would say, some of it is like, you gotta think, I'm trying to avoid frustration. All that stuff is like, when you get mad, you're trying to avoid the frustration. That's how I looked at everything. Uh, I would, when I travel, it's like, what can I do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'm gonna get frustrated, that's what's gonna ruin my day. It's not the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the frustration of the experience. Right. So like some of that will be like, well, I'll go stand at the end of the belt where there's not a soul and I'll just wait a little longer for my bag to come just to avoid, just to avoid the chaos squeezing and fighting. Just go stand at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then be like, it's like, instead of trying to like, you don't try to solve everybody's problems. You go, I'll just do a thing that no one, I don't think anybody else is doing. And then I go stand over there. You're the last one that, I mean, you just get it and be watched. You're, it's not like, where do you act like, we act like this time is like these people are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bag out with everybody kind of jammed in. Let everybody jam in. If you just go look, everybody kind of in any situation, everybody kind of goes like that and goes together and they want to eat in a line to get food, a line to get any, everybody kind of does this. So if you just kind of look and go like, all right, let me just make sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not going to, like, what's the least frustrating way to try to get my, whatever I'm trying to get. That's how, that's my, there's a life hack. Find the least frustrating way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you, he's never flown. It's not, so when you, when we first started going, you've, I mean, maybe 12 times you've been on it. Like it, you got to realize it's, it would be frustrating when you do this every single week and then you got someone that approaches an escalator, like it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's just kind of vented yesterday and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, he's getting on everything's like how fast like it's going to like, like it's jerking, like it's not just a constant speed. It's like, well, I don't want to get it when it takes off, you know? And so it would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that would be, it was very hard. So it's hard for me to travel with some, cause I have, so it's, cause it's like, you have your system. You're like, I do my thing. I'll go stand here. I don't always go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, when everybody gets up to that line and everybody's going to board and everybody just goes crazy. Yeah, it's annoying when those people stand there. That's super close. But you stand back. You watch the chaos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when it's your turn to go, I enter the chaos at my speed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I'm kind of like either the back of the chaos, maybe I can even get in front of the chaos cause the chaos can sometimes they're so chaotic that you can just go like another way. Cause you're like, they're not even, no one's even paying attention to this is everybody's moment is like, this is the most craziest moment of my life is getting on this plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just go like, I'm going to make it nice and easy and I'm going to just go and just, you know, it's like, there's a little, like even when you're, I know they make you pay for seats and all this kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're picking seats out, it was like, I would tell always tomorrow, it's like, well, keep checking it. Like he, if you want to move a seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're thinking about it, like keep, keep really checking it. Look at the price for real. Sometimes people don't want to do the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laura, you know, they just, I want the cheapest one, I don't want to think, blah, blah. We go like, well let's take a look at it. Sometimes, it honestly might be 50 bucks to get a first class flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe not. But maybe. Try it. Maybe you don't, you don't pay to check it back. Just look at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you looking at the trip and go, I want to be that, is that crazy? Is that like, you know, you think about your time and then you, you, you go off of that. Hmm. That's a good life hack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some stuff you're like, yeah, I want the cheapest thing and I'm, I welcome the chaos. Cause I'm, I'm paying for the chaos to save the money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm not mad at the ca- It's also how you enter the chaos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I enjoy, then I can enjoy the experience. But if it's, if it, if I go, this ain't going what I like. So I have to remind myself sometimes I would have to do this. I have to go, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, I would do it with food. I always had a big problem, like too, like eating or me and Lark again fights where I would be like, we were supposed to be going to do this and now we're not eating there. We're eating this. And like, so it doesn't go the way I want it to go. And sometimes I would have to, so the mind would be as stupid as that. And I'd have to tell myself like, all right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if I don't get to do what I want to? And then I'm like, I don't really care. And I'm because I don't really care. I just care about my.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not happening the way I want it to. I don't care about what is happening. I care about me not getting to do what I want. So if I, if I can look at it and go, you know what? I got to get there. That's like, you talk about playing like Henry's being nice with you golf. I think I've been nice with you golf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's like, cause I can go, you don't know how to play. You're not, I'm, I'm okay. Like I enjoy helping. Like I don't, but if we go and we're playing and I'm like expecting you're like, yo dude, this is not what it was supposed to be. Then it's like all bets are off. But if I can go in and be like, yeah, Hey, I don't know how to play. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what I'm buying. Otherwise I would just not play with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so like that's, that's all you, like, I don't, it's not like I have to play with just good golfers. I just want to know what you're just like, what am I, what am I walking into? Right. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you did what I told you to do, it would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, but you think you're, like who's, I travel all the time and you don't. So you would understand the frustration to be like, there's a system, like I'm doing this every weekend and then I just, it's like walking with a child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like, you know, like if people travel with kids, it gets hard because you're like kids don't know how to like do and you would, you know, the one flight you almost missed, like that, I mean, that was like, you almost missed the gig because you go, the flight was delayed and I was like, it doesn't matter. They can drop of a dime, just change your flight back to the time it was supposed to be. And you stayed home. Like it was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's like a concrete, like it's in concrete, can never change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so yeah, like seeing that to be like, if you almost missed the gig because you think, well, I'll just go back home. That's very frustrating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause then maybe I have to do a show that night and I have to go do longer time. Cause you have never heard of an airport and you think you're like, well, they, they, they mailed a letter and it's in stone. It's written in stone. They can't change the flight back. And I'm like, that's not how it works. They can flip it just like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you feel like, if it feels like a day that where flights are being flipped, you can kind of fill it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I make it pretty easy on you now. You get on a bus and like, I would fight first class. I mean, let's act like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm throwing you in the back of a, I mean, my goodness. No one's ever treated, I've been treated that as the opener. Just go like, Hey, you want to fly first class with me? Do you want to sit on the bus? Do you want to get like, how easy can it possibly be to be at the beginning?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty easy. Flight's a normal time. Flights are never 6 AM. I know you were never getting up at 5 AM and going. We always leave at 11. Might have to pay a little extra for that, but I'd pay for your flight extra. But yeah, go ahead. Tell me, how am I frustrating to travel with?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's unreal. I pay for every flight, hotel, all of it. And I cover everybody. Yeah. But I guess I'm a little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you wander through an airport and you've been like, what has happened? Like we're, like we're moving across the country. Every day is like we're moving across the country. That's what I would say with you, traveling with you is like, it would be like the Oregon trail every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's like we're, like I said, we're moving to Pittsburgh. You're never going to see your family again. Get it all out. That's how I think you travel. I think you've gotten better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were that bad. You didn't show up that time. You just didn't show up. I mean, I made the flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so that's frustrating when your guy that you're with is supposed to be with is not there. That's, that's pretty frustrating to be like, it's the stress of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I gotta make sure you get to this show. That stress is new. I learned a lesson. I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I understand. I get the idea of not knowing, but that could have been maybe if I, it is when I know what I'm dealing with, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where I would, you would want to be like, well, I just want to fly separate. I mean, look, I don't think I'm easy to fly with. I'm not bad to fly with, but when you travel every day, every week, it's, it's different. If you worked out every, if someone's a fitness person and they work out alone every time, and then I go work out with you, you're going to be annoyed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I don't know how to do everything you know how to do. Anybody on earth, it's not like I'm a bad person to travel with. This is any situation. You would be frustrated if you had your job at Channel 5 and I come in and you got to show me how to do stuff. You're like, dude, let me just do this. So anybody would be frustrated with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when you get in your little bubble of like going, I travel and you're like, yeah, I kind of just like to, I do this because I'm here every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, you know, it's, it's, it's not, that's why sometimes when you would fly to go into like Orlando or something, you're like, it would be frustrating because you're on a plane with people that are on vacation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it's frustrating to be like, everybody's taking pictures. Everybody's doing this. It's like a party and you're like, it's Thursday, dude. I just, I just landed two days ago and I got to fly out again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, cause you're just, the way you, the, no, cause it's, it's, it's just a different experience. I mean, I'm, I travel, so I would, there's stuff that I might enjoy that they would, you know, so it's like a different, it's just a different experience. But people that try, but I don't, you know, I fly, I bother, I try not to bother anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how I travel. So yeaah. I had to get frustrated with like, and I saw all this stuff, like Laura will be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She could sometimes not change seats, right? So I would lose my mind over this. So like if her and my mom and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then she doesn't change, like, they buy the ticket, they just get the seats wherever and they go, well, I'll just ask people to move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They think, well, I'll just deal with it when I get on the plane. It's not that big of a deal. Or even if you're going Southwest, where you got to get on the thing where you're like, well, if we want three to be together, it's like, I'll work out. Like I'll just, you just ask and someone, and a lot of people will move in the sense I fly once a year. Yeah, I don't know. I'll let you sit together. I don't care. But then there's people that are flying like me, they're flying every week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's very annoying. And I might even give in to what you're gonna do just cause I'm not a maniac. And I've said in the middle seat cause these...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These two girls were like, can we sit next to each other? They had a middle seat. And like, what are you going to look them in the eyes and say no? Like, that's brutal. That's so hard to do to look someone in the eyes and go, absolutely not. Are you insane? That's what you want to say. Are you crazy? You're not trading a fair thing. You're giving me a middle seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like just so you can, and now, like it's not fair. And no one ever trades fair either. You can always see that too when people do want to trade seats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They never trade, they never, they never give you the better seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They never go, like if you, if they have two aisles or something like, like I always think like if I'm going to have to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you do, like so if me and Travis or me and you were flying or something and we have different seats because I couldn't get them together, then at least have an aisle and a window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got the bad end of the draw. But usually you're going to find someone that's like, hey, I'm trading you the exact same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can almost even sit in that seat. I've had that happen where they're like, Hey, I'm sitting here. Do you mind just sitting on that? And you're like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, but people, I think people, they don't fly a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll just figure it out when I get there. Well you end up asking, that's not really fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it's like, that's what that you're, you're, you're making people move around and you think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever. It doesn't matter. Like I don't care. Like, you know, it's like, I look at that. And so then that's when I get, you know, so I'll get on lore about like, I mean, how we can get some fights about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't like, we're just gonna sit, I mean, I almost like, we're gonna sit separate on, for, on, out of, out of, uh, principle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's our, our one-year-old is going to sit in a chair alone to make a point that you should have just at once just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either, either, like if someone wants an extra, like if a big dude wants the extra row, I always think, then you gotta buy the extra row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta buy it, man. Like it's, it's, it's, I understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like a guy walks on the plane. He's six, six, but he gets in on Southwest. He lands at, you know, he's on road C or where he's in whatever boarding group D. And it's like, it's like, well, come on, man, I'm six, six. You're like, then pay, you can go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you go to Southwest, you, after you check in, you can go to the check encounter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. 30 or 40 dollars and you get moved up to A1 to 15. Right. And somewhere in that thing. And then maybe you can talk to one of them about switching into the Southwest thing. Maybe you could, but like 30, 40 bucks. So either, either deal with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's ways to try to figure out how to get to the, get a little bit up sooner. You can do something, but I think people just get on, they go, I'll just guilt, they don't care about guilting the person into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I mean, you know, if I ever see a man, ever see a guy, he goes, no, I'm always like, I'm like jealous of that person. Like, how could you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would have given it to the guy. I would have been like, yeah, I guess, you know, you're not even boarding, you're not even giving me an aisle seat now, dude. Like I don't even get anything. I get something bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, are you going to buy the, uh, it's, I mean, it's Southwest is the hard part of Southwest too. A lot of people don't know. Only really one true exit row. If people want to go, I'll give a little life hack. If you go in Southwest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, there's only one real exit row and it's, it's, uh, it's the three seats that are together. The seats on the left, the one with the, the really long, you got, you got the long seat in Southwest with no seat in front of you. The other seats around it are regular seats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I watch people sit in them all the time and they have no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, they go to it first. If you want, I don't even like the really long one. I think it's like too long. It's like almost an odd amount of space. It's awkward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always go to the exit row in Southwest and uh, I go right to the, it depends on how long the flight, you can go to the window or the aisle, but I just go right to the exit row. And a good thing too, sometimes in the exit row is a lot of times the, the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The flight attendant will stand in your middle seat. So you go to that exit row and you have her stand in that middle seat. And most people are not paying attention enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just go, oh, and they don't, and you can end up getting an empty Xero seat just cause people are not paying attention. This is all people not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A life hack is just pay attention. Right. If you just pay attention. I've seen people walk by the exit row just cause the flight attendant is standing in the third row of the exit row and they just think, oh, I guess she's sitting there. And they think, well, it's a flight attendant. So she's just, that's the only, that's the most space she has to stand in. So that's why she stands there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause there's no other exit roads. So they just, people just walk by and you end up seeing where like no one's in an exit row.