[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have like one or two people that I'm still in touch with like after not working for like what like seven years now or whatever. But even then I'm not, I don't talk to them that often and normally what, what sparks our conversation up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I was meant to be, uhm, designated trick-or-treater for my kids, but then, uhm, my kids were like, nah, no, can, can we go with mum instead? So my wife's like, well, looks like you're on door duty, and I was like, alright, fine. So I just fucking sat around and watched, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The vault. Yeah, but just because they were on doesn't mean you have to watch them. What the fuck is the vault? I don't know, it's like, it's on Freesat. I never even realized I had access to this channel, so I thought, fuck it, I'll just put it on, see what's on. The classic Sabrina. They had the A-Team on, the classic A-Team later on was pretty good too. Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but it's like, we're playing the long game because we bought all these, all these candies and stuff for, uhm, for trick-or-treaters hoping that we'd have some left over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it just so happens we do because my son's birthday is gonna be next month and we're just gonna fill up all of the party bags for his friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We decided that this year he wanted a pirate-themed bouncy castle, so, so we rented one, we had to rent out a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just turn into like a fucking broken record though, don't you? You just like, you, you, you take a step back and you listen to what you're saying. You're like, I've literally said the same thing all night over and over and over. I haven't said anything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know. It's like a floodgate. One person punches you in the ass. Every once in a while, like I'm at a kid's party or something and either my son or some one of his friends will just donkey punch me hard in the ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's she doing? Was she doing that thing where she was like really like excited and laughing and stuff and like it was fine but then she punches you in the balls and then realizes that based on your reaction she's gone over the line she crossed the line so there's like that nervous laughter sort of thing and she's not quite sure if you're just gonna like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, into the upper atmosphere or what sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. I'm glad. It's uh, I was saying this yesterday and thinking about this too, you know, it's kind of sad to think that like in your life on average, you'll probably only ever trick or treat like 10 times, right? You know, whole life. That's not a lot of trick or treating. You'll only do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to like these candies called Runts, and they were like, they were shaped as-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's probably alright now, like maybe they fixed it. It's, it's actually a decent game, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I don't know, like, either I'm getting older, there's just nothing like that grayed out right now, like, I mean, I like Apex, but, you know, like, I can't remember the last time I was excited for a AAA game, like, they always seem pretty disappointing when they come out. I don't know, it's weird, isn't it? It's just, it's just weird. This is why Hatfields are playing Monopoly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's meant to work that way, but it doesn't always feel like it works that way. I think the system was designed to be something like that, where you know, you jump in with somebody who's like a much higher character level than you and either you scale up to them or they scale somehow down to you or whatever and it evens out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like, the one time I tried it, the bad guys seemed...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vastly overtuned for where I was at and I was just getting one shot everytime I saw somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like a headshot should just be you're dead. Like, I don't want to shoot a dude in the head four times to kill him. Like, that doesn't make any sense to me. But, I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever. You know what I mean? It's just like fucking, we could complain about this shit, the state of games until we're blue in the face. Like they're just like, it feels like they're just getting worse though. Like the garbage that just like, it trends with them and stuff like that. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, think of the games that you play on the regular. Flax, the games you play on the regular are games that are like 10 years old, right? Like, they've been out for a long time. Like, what, what has come out recently that has really been like, I, I, in, in recent memory for us,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, playing together as like a group of friends, probably PUBG, right? That was the last time we were all, or maybe Rust. Yeah, we played a lot of Rust. The revival of Rust sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know what I mean, it's really rare that something comes out that's just like, fuck, this is awesome, they nailed it. Like, everything's perfect, it's super fun, I can't stop playing it, I just want to play it all the time, sort of thing. I'm a bit like that with Apex now, but it's not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, WoW was like that, but again, there was like, it wasn't, it wasn't that, I think WoW was a pretty good game. It wasn't incredible though, but there was just elements that were outside of the scope of WoW that made WoW so great, right? Like in Vanilla. At the time, I mean, when it came out, it was amazing. There was nothing else out at the time that was like anything like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except for like EverQuest, but that was like very sort of like, I don't know, I feel like the people that played EverQuest at that time were just like really hardcore nerds. They were shut-in types, they definitely were. More so than your average WoW player. Yeah. But, I don't know, it's a weird one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a story-rich, like, single-player experience, which is just like, had multiplayer, seemingly like crowbarred into it, I guess. Like some people feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I mean I played Fallout 76 briefly and it wasn't as terrible as I thought it was gonna be. You know, based on like what people were saying about it. I don't know, like in a multiplayer game I don't think you can get away with having really clunky, laggy combat and stuff. Like in the single player Fallout games you can almost forgive it because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's maybe part of the charm somehow? I don't know, like it, it's, it's just a, you know, it's a survival game and not everything is like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't really want that experience I guess, like, I don't know, it's hard to explain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it does have to be good though. I can't just play a shit game with friends and the only thing keeping me in it is my friends. Like, if it's a really shit game, it'll drive me nuts and I'll stop playing it. You know what I mean? Like, it has to be a good game. To me, it has to be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coming back to what you were saying about inventory and stuff, I think if like the theme of the game is that you're sort of against, you know, against all the odds, you run out of ammo a lot and stuff like that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can deal with that, but man, I don't know what it is. Like, and again, I, I, I struggle because sometimes I think I'm just like getting like older than like the target demographic for these games and these things are annoying me. Like as a result or they're just poorly implemented. I can't figure out what, what it is, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' inventory management. I don't know what it is with games nowadays. Like, I was playing- I was playing this game called Graveyard Keeper, which-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the whole game is just so mired in this garbage inventory, like, you have about six inventory slots, you can pick up everything in the world and none of it does anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, do I drop all these fucking Sasquatch dicks that I'm carrying around? I might need them later or do I need, you know what I mean? And then it's like, oh fuck, I gotta run back to my house, which is like 10 miles away. I'm in like some sort of fucking sewer or something here. I found something that I need, but of course I have no space for it. And then you go back home to your stash box, which is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There just wasn't too much stuff, you know, there wasn't too many big resource chains to build things or whatever. You know, like the really big things, yea, you had to sort of like stock up on some materials, but you'd expect that, right? If you're gonna build like a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, I don't know, like the pacing and it just seems like they put a lot of thought into it. It never felt like cumbersome or shitty in any way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there you go, there's the strap line for you. What a motto. What a motto. It don't feel core, it feels like a chore. Much like this podcast, right? Am I right guys? I had a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, this is right, yeaah, the last time you went, you had this sort of like, uh, weird journey into the, uhm, you, didn't you do some research on the homeless situation in San Francisco as well? You had all these stats for us and everything? Yeaah, yeaah, I remember. That was really interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's songs about that area by a punk band. I don't know if you've ever heard of the punk band Rancid before, who are from San Francisco. I think they actually have a song called Tenderloin, which is about that area. So look it up sometime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh come on, London? They're all like, they're all like famous and like wacky, right? Like Wally Woobler Square and Wiggle Wigglebottom Precinct and stuff like that. You wanna go everywhere in London, like, I think the problem when you go to London is you don't have enough time to go to all these crazy places, like there's so many.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, there's like, there's, there's like council estates and stuff over here, same as anywhere else. Don't want to go anywhere near them, pretty much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are they really eccentric? Like, uh, like ultra American eccentric? You know, like, what I mean when I say that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you sure they weren't German tourists? German tourists. Yeah, German tourists would have, uh, like, uh, like knee-high black socks with sandals on as well. But they were playing a bit of um-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it cause there's more drugs? Or like, I guess there's lots of drugs in the UK though. I think. You see these people like on Spice all zombied out and stuff? Like do they have that in America? Do they have all that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, those are like the traditionals, but I'm talking like, what about like uhm, like over in the UK, like especially in prisons and stuff, like Spice is huge, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sniffing whiteout used to be like a scare story for us at school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like fucking don't sniff the white out and everybody be like all scared and we used to just like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We used to like dab white out like behind each other's like ears and stuff like that to try to get each other in trouble. When was the last time you used Tipex or Whitetail? Like in primary school. Well, probably high school actually, I think like, you know, sometimes when you have to hand in assignments or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back before you could uhm, well actually when I was in high school, it wasn't like ultra rare for somebody to have a computer and like print out their homework or whatever, but it was still very much like you wrote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like with a pen or pencil and you handed it in sort of thing. I imagine everything now is just like typed up on a computer and printed out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember in school where you'd like go over it, you'd go over it with Tipex, ours was called Whiteout, we'd call it Whiteout, but Tipex. Sorry, it's the brand name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's such a shit thing. You know, you get like this tape stuff now. You don't even need to use like liquid anymore. It's like, uh, it's kind of like a pen and this weird fucking like film comes out of it and it's like, perfectly covers like a line in a paper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh. I think the internet's been awesome in a lot of ways, but I think it's just been fucking terrible in a lot of ways too. Like, I really, it's, it's really a fine balance of like, utter garbage and just pure brilliance, isn't it? But like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't sway, like, predominantly either way, it's just like, just stuck in the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Alright, well thanks for listening to the podcast this week everybody. We're going to end this one early and, uh, disassociate with Lewis Brinley altogether, uh, off the back of this one. So, uhm, so this will be the last one. We didn't quite make it to a hundred exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean, you gotta draw the line somewhere. Sometimes you just gotta take a stance in life. And when somebody says they've been reading Harry Potter fan fiction, that's a, it's a blessing in disguise. They've done you a favor. You don't have to find out later on after wasting a lot of time investing into a friendship that is just going nowhere sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is absolutely a perfect thing to talk about following on from this comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has beta and whatever. Oh is it? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I've been outspoken about this in the past. I've still never gotten around to, and probably never will get around to reading Harry Potter. I'm never gonna read it. I watched the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My son is starting to become intrigued by the Lego, but knows nothing about it otherwise. Right. That's his gate. That might be his gateway into this sordid world of fan fiction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The human version of Jabba the Hutt sitting in his fucking nerd den with all of his Star Wars figurines still in the original packaging and sex dolls and wall scrolls all around him writing Harry Potter fiction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I normally just assume that fan fiction is sort of like, you know, always, I think it always starts off meaning well and trying to like not conform to like the stereotypes of fan fiction, but then can't help itself and then devolve somehow into like a sexy time with your favorite characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think these things are just so fucking, so incredibly hyped by people as well that it puts me off. Like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one more thing before we wrap up, alright? Before we fuck your balls. So, uh, I took a bath the other day, and uh, the plug in my bath, uh, it has like this twist thing, you twist it, and the thing comes up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man residue, uh, with this water that just couldn't drain away, we just couldn't get the plug, uh, out, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then slowly over the course of two days, it turns out that like maybe the plug is not as airtight as we thought it was because the bath slowly drained out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leaving like this gross fucking film and like all these like pubes and stuff like all of- but we couldn't rinse it out because the plug was still stuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this morning, finally, I get the plug out and I'm like, what the, what the hell? Like I'm trying this thing, twisting it, twisting it, twisting it. And I noticed that like once I finally get the plug out, I had to use a screwdriver to like pry it out, but I couldn't do it when the, when the tub was full of water. Like it would have been gross. I didn't want to ruin my screwdriver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So waited for it to empty out, pried it open. So I'm twisting this thing and I noticed the mechanism is still working and inside like the plug hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I made it higher so that the little mechanism is just a little like lever underneath that pushes the plug up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I made it a bit longer so that it would connect better sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I did like a test run. I filled the tub up. So I, you know, I was happy with like the length, put it in, filled the tub up a little bit. Fucking work. It's working better than ever now boys. Perfect. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, well, I mean, the thing is, like, I'm, I'm missing quite a bit of hair on my head, but it turns out that I'm like a fucking ape, uhm, on my body. I've got a lot of hair, so, like, when I take a bath...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, I'm so sorry. Last week there was no podcast because my audio was all screwed up. It's all static. It was probably the funniest podcast we ever recorded as well. We had a guest and everything. It was alien.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, back in the day, that's what they did, you know, like, it's like, it's like animals too. After a certain point, you know, without like all the modern technologies and stuff like that, you know, stuff is just ready to go at a certain age. You know, humans takes a little bit longer, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, back in like the caveman days, you know, you didn't live with your mom and dad in the cave until you were like 20, because you probably died when you were 15 of old age back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So everything, everything was like accelerated back then, you know, like at the age of six, you had to be able to hunt and forage and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No baggage that comes with a rescue dog. I don't think its worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, listen, uhm, on the topic of dogs and hating dogs, I, I wanna just make it clear, I don't actually hate dogs in real life. I think that most dogs are pretty cute. Uh, I would, you know, I would stop and cuddle a dog in real life if I saw one and it was cute and friendly and stuff, no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when I play Red Dead Redemption 2 though, it's a bit of a running joke like in my chat and stuff that I like to kick dogs in the game. So like every time I see one, I basically kick the shit out of a dog and often times kill it as well if it doesn't run away or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I walked into a shack the other day, and blew away a granny sitting in a rocking chair with a shotgun. And chat was just like, ah, whatever. And then I walked outside and kicked a dog, and there was a meltdown. I was like, uuuh, how can you kick a dog? I just killed a granny, what are you talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well that's, it's part of the joke, right? Like some people, it is funny seeing people's reactions to stuff and it's just a fucking video game. I mean, so like people are branding me as some sort of psycho and I think it's unfair. I mean in a game where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't get to the end of that game without killing about 10,000, you know, stormtroopers or men. It's a rockstar game, right? Imagine, it's like GTA. So we're saying that we value dogs over hillbillies? We're setting up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People have proven time and time again that they're fucking stupid and hopeless and useless, like the whole world round. It's crazy, I don't know why they keep doing it. I think I've enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, your own are great, but everyone else's can just fuck right off, like I have no time for them at all, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' swerve in between all the traffic and get to the front of the lights and stuff, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna understand this, why, so, what are the arguments for this? Because it seems crazy to me that anybody could not be trolling and believe that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's not trolling, it's gotta be a byproduct of like some, some really, uh, massive narcissism though. Like to, to think that you somehow have figured out something that nobody else knows or believes or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but what if, what if there's more to it though? What if, what if, what if they, they, they, they take on this role and they put out this information and stuff and they go to their seminars and conferences and stuff? And what if?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like massive plot twist, couple years down the line, they realized that this was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's a genius nowadays because they read Wikipedia, right? You don't have to have any skills or expertise in any field anymore. You can just go on the internet and say that you do and people will believe you. You say whatever you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no, there's no consequence to it whatsoever. It's crazy. No. It's just going to get worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the point though? Like that's the thing, if it's a conspiracy theory, usually it comes back to some sort of profit or something, right? Where's the money in blockading a nice wall?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd love it if they just dug really, really deep into the earth and they unleashed some sort of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, terror from the deep, like there's just, it turns out all this time there's this massive fucking snake living in the center of the earth, just waiting to be like, you know, let out of its prison or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And man, people would be so shocked, wouldn't they? Cause like all this stuff that we think we know about like life and the universe and planets and stuff like that. And then all of a sudden, just a gigantic spanner in the works like, what is this big fucking snake? And it wants to like devour all of humanity and stuff and nobody saw it coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, part of me hopes that that happens someday, but the other part of me obviously thinks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's leave that buried evil, uh, buried forever because I don't want to die like, uh, from that. I, you know, I just want to get old and die naturally sort of thing, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, how big is it? Like, huge. Like, you know, it, it, it coils around, like, the core of the earth. That's where it gets its power from. Holy shit. So like, heat power, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, oh yeah, huge, yeah. Okay. But nobody knows, you know, everybody's like, oh, there's Flint, and oh, nobody went to the moon, and nah, there's no life outside the solar system, and blah, blah, blah. And then all of a sudden, bam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gigantic lava snake that just lives in the center of the earth and nobody saw it coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll blow a guy's head off right after, but the dog kicking obviously the bad one. Jesus Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that my new horse, since the drowned horse, my new horse seems to crash a whole lot more. I don't know, like some of them seem clumsier than others somehow. Like, I never had these problems with my other horse. What kind of horse is it? I don't know, it just, the game I think felt bad for me and randomly gave me a horse that I haven't even stabled yet or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you know what's gonna happen, he's gonna go to this new family and he's gonna just be, the new family are gonna be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the best dog, he's, he's so good, he's, he's never bitten anybody, and he never barks, and he always shits outside and stuff, and, and just to make you feel like an asshole. Like that's- He's gonna be awarded dog of the year at Crufts. That's the real conspiracy in this world, isn't it? It's like other people's, like, perceptions and opinions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you gonna feed a whale in captivity? Other fish you have to, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every single day is a living hell for me, but I still have to go and do, I have to go to the grocery store and she's walking across the street and out of the corner of her eye, she sees that car and she's like, and for a very brief


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, fraction of a millisecond a thought enters their mind, I hope this guy just plows me over, I hope, I hope this is it. I don't have to deal with this pain or anything anymore. And then, he swerves and hits the dog instead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to look, I had those little boxes of cereal, you know, the eight pack, the variety pack, right? Where you got, the idea was that you'd have like one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Different breakfast here every morning, right? Like you'd have Frosties, then Coco Pops, then et cetera. And Coco Pops were always the favourite, right? Because you get to put milk. Sorry, we've started this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go! That's it. Welcome back everyone. I'm joined by Sips and P-Fax. Uh, so now, like, like, over those variety packs, man, honestly, let's just talk about those for a second. I'm sure we've done this before, but that's what they call them. They call them tetrapacks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's butter effectively, I guess, but no, no, these days they would have, uhm, also these days, right, you wouldn't get that shit, you'd get all this other fucking milk, like soy milk and coconut milk and oat milk and, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So why did this stop? Why did we stop having Milkman delivered? What changed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I mean, that used to be the issue, I guess, that it just went out of date so, so quick. But I, I've switched over to like, oat milk and coconut milk now, and it's like, just, it never seems to go out of date. Like, it takes me about two weeks to get through a car, and I'm sure it, I'm sure it is going out of date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it because you're, like, do you, is it because you're getting old and quite slow that you think he's like- No, I was like- Moving quickly? You know, is this a perspective thing? It's like a Doppler effect? Not at all, like they are-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a character. So okay, so first of all, Terry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1844 to 2004. She was the oldest resident of the UK. Her name, obviously, she was called Timothy before, uhm, she, yeaah, they didn't know. Like, like, like, I guess like Terry. So how's Terry? Well, Terry's like two and a half years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, let's talk for a second about Timothy, right? Fuck it. So how do you think Timothy was found, right? What, dead, you mean? What's the earliest record? No, like 500 in the first place in 1844.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Captain John Guy Courtney Everard of the Royal Navy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was, he was, um, I think he, he obviously did, I don't know how he got involved with this, but they were raiding a Portuguese privateer. In the 19th century. He was in the hands of a, of a Portuguese privateer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically, he was thought to have been born in the shores of the Mediterranean, or maybe Turkey, and he was found in this privacy around ten.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The captain adopted him as a sort of mascot on the ship. Or her, I guess, eventually. Uhm, found out. And they were on a series of navy vessels and then eventually ships mascot of HMS Queen during the first bombardment of Sevastopol in the Crimean War. Wow. So she was the last survivor of the Crimean War.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then she kept being bounced around through lots of different ships captains, like passed along like some sort of, I don't know, like ceremonial ships mascot. And eventually the Earl of Devon


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[Assistant] Uhm, took, took her to his home, powder, powder him castle, and etched on her underside, where have I fallen? What have I done?


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[Assistant] Which is the English translation of the Courtney family motto, okay?


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[Assistant] You can do it. The oldest tortoise in the world is Jonathan. He is 187. Wow. Uh, it's Seychelles giant tortoise. How did he live so long? That's nutsay. He lived from St Helena.


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[Assistant] And, uh, the Saint Helena 5P has a picture of him on it. Wow.


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[Assistant] Amazing. He is alive and well, however, he is blind from cataracts has lost all of his


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[Assistant] No, you definitely wouldn't want to do that. But I think like a little couple of splashes on fabric is probably fine. You're okay.


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[Assistant] So, I'm looking at this fucking hotel, it's super fancy. I know the kind of meal. How much was it? How much was like the...


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[Assistant] I think words, they change over time. Like, certainly you can, certainly you can start off with a pair, but then one of them becomes, you know, like, I don't know what the opposite of like, um, well, I'm not going to start digging into words we can't use anymore.


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[Assistant] There's usually a reason we can't use them anymore. I'm not sure what the reason behind, um, using Oriental is, but it's certainly like, it doesn't feel modern, does it? Does it feel kind of like a modern, approved way?


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[Assistant] By the way, the filet, the reason I said 1830 was the filet of Hereford beef, uh, is what you had circa 1830. So it's the same sort of design of something they had, you know, a hundred and...


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[Assistant] Back in the day, okay, let's link all this whole podcast together. Back in the day, when maybe Terry's great great grandmother, Timothy, the tortoise, right? Back when she was lovely, sitting, being born on the beaches of Turkey, in England,


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[Assistant] When during the time, colonial times at 1830, people in Hereford were eating filet of beef with mushroom ketchup and triple cooked chips.


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[Assistant] The tipsy cake. Ooh, the tipsy cake. Spit roast pineapple, circa 1810. It was £18.50. Oh, it was amazing. And what about, uhm... And the other things you could have had were chocolate drops. So they were combining stuff back then, you know. Amazing. Brown bread ice cream.


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[Assistant] Sips has a ghost, he's fried some stuff, there's a tortoise, a word, still racist, probably, don't say him, uh, eat healthy, or not, with air fries. Just do what you like, christ. Fucking be your own man. That's right. Or woman.


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[Assistant] Totally moot. Totally moot. I still reckon he could pull off the old Captain Picard. When did he do Captain Picard?


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[Assistant] Oh god, these games. I'm so glad I quit. I've played so many different games over the last, like, cause I've been going through all these top games of 2018, right? I've been playing...


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[Assistant] I watched a movie yesterday on Netflix, for some reason. Right. I watched a movie, I just had it on in the background while I was playing other stuff, and it was called Christine, right? And it was about Christine Chubbuck, and I recognized her name. Who? I recognized her a little bit, but I didn't know why. Christine Chubbuck?


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[Assistant] She was the first person to commit suicide on live TV. Ever.


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[Assistant] Never. Well, I mean, I, I assume there's not actually that many people who've committed suicide live on TV, but uhm.


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[Assistant] Yes, that's the thing that we were talking about already, like, you know, back when Sips was in Vietnam, when that picture was taken, you know, the press was all like, hungry for...


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[Assistant] And drivel and salacious stuff, you know, sex sells and all this, you know, it's a big time. You know, journalism always has to strive and fight against the increment, you know, the tabloidy


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[Assistant] It was a bit tragic, and, and, uh, I, I enjoyed it. I've been watching tons of, tons of shitty movies, and it wasn't a great movie, honestly. I'd give it like a fucking solid 4 out of 10, but.


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[Assistant] I felt like, when I was watching it, I was like, I'm like PFLAX now. Cause PFLAX just turns on the TV and watches whatever crap movie's on that day, right? Whereas I'm the same, I just click on whatever...


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[Assistant] So do you reckon they had to do that to just like pad it out to like the recommended novel length or else the book would be too thin and people wouldn't buy it? Why is it called Bird Box?


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[Assistant] Uplifting to have like a sort of a clean workspace and like clean, clean stuff, but the thing is it's very different to, um, store, storage, right? A lot of, a lot of what we were all taught previously was that like we all watched hoarders, right?


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[Assistant] You come down naked in the morning and you f- fumble through it. Yeah. Until you find a clean pair of pants. It's fine. It works. It's fine. You know. It looks just fine.


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[Assistant] There's lots of aspects to this, right? And I think that some of them are like psychological stuff, right? And I think that the main thing that she sort of talks about is that if you look at an object, it has to spark joy, right? But there's also a classic adage, which I always remember, which is,


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[Assistant] Don't have anything in your house that you do not find useful or beautiful, right?


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[Assistant] And, but, but, but like a lot of the time, you know, it's hard to get over that psychological barrier when you've got like a little fucking thing that someone gave you or a little, like for example, I get sometimes I get these bits of fan mail. Okay. And they're really nice and really nice messages or they send me a little gift. Okay. And I don't know what


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[Assistant] Right? Because I think all the things that clutter up your life are kid related stuff. Like, I remember when I was a kid, it was always...


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[Assistant] Like, lego. Like, I built something out of lego and then, or you know, that would go on a shelf and I wouldn't want to break it up, right? Or like cards, or like toys, or like games, and like, even today it's like warhammer models and like fucking stupid little


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[Assistant] Plushies and mascots and little toys and, you know, Simon's desk is always covered in these things because it's hard to like...


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[Assistant] Oh my god, but no, it definitely is like toys and that kind of thing, which, which for me is like, definitely like a major source of clutter. Uh, cause I'm not actively playing with toys and I think that growing older makes you automatically realize that you don't necessarily need to surround yourself with this clutter. But then again,


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[Assistant] God bless his soul. I think he's actually still alive. I haven't spoken to him in a long time.


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[Assistant] Body switching as well. Yea, no body switching. Because the first thing anyone does in any fucking movie where they get switched into someone else's body is take a look down their top.


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[Assistant] Then again, what you could do is just do what fucking Donald Trump does. The kids would love a trip to the fucking White House.


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[Assistant] Oh my god, so Donald Trump is like my great uncle John. He's just a big child. Does he have all of that?


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[Assistant] Oh, by the way, just quickly, uhm, you know how you drink, sometimes you'll come back to like a cup of coffee that's gone cold, right? And you'll drink it and it's room temperature but it tastes like cold. You know how the same thing happens with beer, but if it's room temperature it tastes warm?


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[Assistant] Because we say, beer's gone warm, but coffee's gone cold, but they're both the same temperature. Uh huh. Just, let that just explode your mind for a second. It really hasn't.


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[Assistant] 98? Man, what if we just stopped at 99? Like we just lost interest all of a sudden and just...


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[Assistant] No, not yet, actually we've taken a break because everybody's been busy.


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[Assistant] So we, we last left off at, uhm, what's the last album we listened to? The Band, by The Band, was the last album that we listened to. Wow. Which was, uh, an interesting one. But yeah, we haven't listened to anything else since.


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[Assistant] But it's just been a busy time for the album boys.


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[Assistant] There's more busyness coming up too, cause I'm going away on vacation next week for two weeks. Oh my gosh. Where are you going? I'm going to sunny Canada, where the temperature is a low of zero and high of five. Uh, I'm going to be there for about 10 days, freezing my, um, tabernacles off. So that's going to be nice, but, um, I haven't been back for like 10 years. No portage this time of year. You're not booked to.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the Great Lakes are still frozen over completely, so they don't thaw out until June. So uhm, so yeah, so there's not gonna be a podcast for like two weeks after this one. RIP. Yeah, RIP indeed. I'm gonna be-


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[Assistant] And it's like, well fuck me, neither one please. Like that's just a hell. Like that's an eternal hell, isn't it? Like that's probably some form of hell, like if hell exists. I talk about this a lot, I guess, but.


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[Assistant] I, I truly believe that, you know, hell isn't just like this, this, you know, cave underground with, full of lava and, uh, you know, a, a hoofed devil or whatever. It's, it's like, uh, it's like your own personal hell, right? Everybody gets a personal hell. Like mine would be, once again, I said this.


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[Assistant] Be asked would I rather questions whilst eternally crawling through a ventilation shaft that's very dark.


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[Assistant] And it never ends. You know, you're all confined in there and you can't, you can't ever leave. You'll never see daylight again or whatever. And somebody's just whispering in your mind to you, would you rather questions and it drives you mad.


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[Assistant] Well, that's what I'm saying. I think that, I think hell is specific. I don't think it's just like, you know, ah, hey Larry, ah, you're in hell too. Ah, God. Okay. Well.


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[Assistant] Well, that's what they, that's when they say hell on earth, I think that's what they mean. You know, they're not talking about a war zone or whatever. What if, what if we are in hell right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Listening to this podcast for the rest of eternity with Bob and Larry and you haven't managed to find a comfortable spot to sit near a pool of lava in hell.


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[Assistant] Those ones, those would you rather questions to me are like the which is better Star Wars or Star Trek. That's from a lazy person who doesn't, doesn't really do would you rathers. You know, they haven't thought about it much.


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[Assistant] That's a piss poor excuse for a would you rather, alright?


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[Assistant] The idea is that if you're an atheist and then you end up in hell, you're like, oh crap, maybe I should have believed in God all along. I think you have the notion of God and you, you're, you yearn for him when you're in hell.


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[Assistant] While I was, while I had the chance, and then you, you repent for the rest of your, uhm.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, that's the thing. It's not an airtight case. Uhm, you can poke holes in it all day long, but it'll always come back to you. You're going to hell for questioning it. Yeaah. That's the catchall.


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[Assistant] What about, what about eternally being stuck in a, in a, um, hospital waiting room with a bunch of bronies? That would be pretty bad too.


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[Assistant] Just fat sweaty butt cracks. That's a heaven for me, but uhm, it just shows that one man's trash is another man's treasure, I guess?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but what if in 500 years time, and nobody could predict this, the, the earth is fragmented because it's been, um, uh, it's like another big celestial body slammed into it and there's no life left on earth. So you, you, you go forward 500 years and you instantly burn, burn to death and die. Well, I mean, that would be bad, obviously.


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[Assistant] Well then you could do window shopping and you could like, you know, min max your experience and stuff.


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[Assistant] I think back in the day though, blacksmithing was like the new and you know, like now it's like I design iPads and that's, that's like the new big job, isn't it?


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[Assistant] But back then it was like, I'm the town blacksmith and everybody's like woooooo, cause he forges metal and fire or whatever. So that's what, like back then, that was like the big upcoming job and everybody was obsessed with it and that's why a lot of, a lot of the-


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[Assistant] That's it. That's why a lot of the imagery around, you know, heaven and hell and stuff is based in and around blacksmithing.


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[Assistant] You know, nowadays, like, if any of that stuff happened, there'd be some way around it or some-


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[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. We got sandbags and whatever, you know, like there's, there's, there's ways to like deal with this stuff so that it wouldn't be the world ending catastrophe that it's like described in the Bible. But the Bible didn't, uhm, somehow predict things like...


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[Assistant] For example, the Bible never once mentions the internet. And I think that it would be a bigger catastrophe if everybody just lost internet access. You know, like straight away.


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[Assistant] They never mentioned, yeaah, they did in, I'm pretty sure they did in the Bible, but they never mentioned satellites either, like what if all the satellites just stopped working and we couldn't like, you know, do our Instagram posts and stuff. Fuck me, that's, that's...


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[Assistant] It never goes out, yeaah. There is a fire that never goes out. It's a very famous song by Morrissey, who's probably also going to hell at some point, just for being such a joy vacuum.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, I could as well. What I've decided recently is, and I don't know if you agree with this being a parent yourself flax, is that for me, I don't understand why people insist on sitting down and eating together. Like I find, I find dinnertime a nightmare with kids. It's very strange.


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[Assistant] No, you can't be full, you've only had one month, like that's the, like, it goes on and on and on the entire duration of a meal. But then when you meet up with like extended family or friends and stuff like, let's go out for a meal. You're like, huh, fuck no, like I'm not going, like I'm not going to subject you to this. It's bad enough that I have to live through it every day.


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[Assistant] He does everything in the tub. He gets home, he takes all his clothes off, he eats in the tub, then he doesn't need to get up to go to the bathroom or anything, he can just do it all in the tub.


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[Assistant] Well, you can add water, like, to wash away the filth after you've, you've fouled in the tub sort of thing. It's like the guy from, uh, Truman Show. Remember that guy that just sits in the tub all the time? It's like that. What a life. We should all aspire to be more like that guy.


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[Assistant] Uh, you showed me your place last time I was over. It wasn't actually as hellish as you described. It's pretty nice. It's a pretty nice place. I never saw the basement dungeon place, so. Oh, did you not? No, I never saw it.


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[Assistant] I thought it was kind of weird when you're like, eh, do you want to come see my house? And the whole house is like covered in plastic and you insisted on me wearing a diaper, but I went along with it anyway, cause you know, we're friends and stuff, but.


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[Assistant] You kinda, you kinda do already control electronics with your mind though, don't you? Like, I mean, you have to use your fingers, like, at your mind's request to, to, to action at all. But, I mean, you can't really control, mind control an animal.


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[Assistant] I could struggle. Uhm. You're like, don't call it his dick, call it his throbbing love pump and things like that, you know? Yeah, his throbbing love pump. His feathery love pump. You have to put a lot of like, yeah, colourful terminology around it.


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[Assistant] Why didn't he just like Wallace and Grom at his house and put like a whole bunch of like levers and pulleys and stack the cars up like, uh, alongside the house and work on them that way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm audibly masturbating on the podcast, yea. Just wanna raise awareness that it's okay if you're, you know, if you're rubbing your piña colada daily.


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[Assistant] No, not a sledgehammer, no, but I do have like a pitchfork and a shovel and some other stuff.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I needed it. For what? Well you needed it for one specific thing and then you just have a sledgehammer for the rest of your life.


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[Assistant] I gotta do lots of weeding now for my tortoise because he eats all the weeds. He eats the weeds? He eats dandelion leaves and stuff. Oh, that's so handy. So you just like, you pick it all, cause you're gonna pick it anyway and then you just, uhm, wash it off a little bit for him and give it to him and he eats it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. He responds like if you go up to his cage and you talk to him and stuff, he looks at you and comes over to you sometimes and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got any more of those dandelion leaves?


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[Assistant] Yeah, he's like, yeah, it's surprisingly, he's just like this little like slow moving guy, but actually can move pretty fast when he wants to and surprisingly has


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you look at his face and you're like, oh, he's a little conniving shithead, isn't he? Like, I've seen that look before. But like, then all squirrels look pretty much the same, I guess. So like, I don't know.


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[Assistant] Do you ever think you'd find yourself in a situation where you favor one squirrel over another?


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[Assistant] That's incredible how, how hardwired animals are like, you know, like, uh,


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[Assistant] Guinea pigs, from the moment they're born, they know how to do everything they need to do for the rest of their life. Like it's insane. I don't get it. Like they know, cause guinea pigs eat like, uhm, uh, certain shits that they produce. Like every, every couple of shits that they do.


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[Assistant] Most of their shits are just like, you know, shits that are, you know, just pure waste or whatever. But every once in a while...


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[Assistant] And they have to eat it because it rebalances their gutty work sort of thing. Oh, giddy pigs are in hell. But they know to do this, which blows my mind. Like, if you, if, if I was expected to eat


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they'd have to be like, uhm, they'd have to have like, uh, like sentience first though, right? Like I don't think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess so, yeaah. What do you think is the most likely then to, to, to, probably like, what, dolphins I guess are like.


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[Assistant] I wouldn't say they're close, but I suppose they're closer than most. Like, I would say a dolphin has a better chance than like, fucking like a garden worm.


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[Assistant] This is why I think it's, I think it's as dangerous to travel 500 years ahead of time as it is to travel 500 years back in time. So what if you travel 500 years back in time and you're expecting to see some hippos and it's like, yeah, no, there's, they, you know, the whales haven't reached land yet.


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[Assistant] No, it's just an example, I'm not saying that, you know, what if there's like some weird thing that you're like really disappointed about? Going back?


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[Assistant] That is such a neckbeard thing now, isn't it? Nobody uses M'lady except for fuckin' fedora wearing neckbearded cheeto flake covered mountain deuce stakin' ass breath.


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[Assistant] I hope that that's becoming a thing now. I really like the, uhm, I really love the format of Buster Scrugs as well. I just thought...


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[Assistant] Man, the Green Mile was like, uh, like a five part short story series sort of thing, wasn't it?


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[Assistant] Well like, we would have grown up watching, like in the 80s and stuff like that. A lot of the comedies and stuff were just super fucking simple. Like a really simple idea.


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[Assistant] But like, you know, pretty funny or quirky or good or whatever.


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[Assistant] And uhm, and it fits the space of a movie perfectly, right? Like, you know, an hour and a half to two hours. But sometimes now, if they're trying to adapt a movie based on a very, very big book and they're trying to cram it into two hours, they have to skip forward so much stuff, you know, like it's too detailed to fit it all in.


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[Assistant] We gotta wrap it up. Listen avid listeners, two weeks, we're on a two week break because of me. You can blame me for it, but uh, we won't be back. You'll be missing two weeks of a podcast, but we'll be back the week after that two weeks. Unless one of you guys is going away as well.


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[Assistant] My number one man, Terry, who's currently pooping in his food bowl.


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[Assistant] Like he was, you know those, you know, you know, like you picture a guy who's just like on a steady diet of hot dogs only and doesn't really go outside much and maybe just spends too much time reading Reddit and stuff like that. So me or you. Me or you, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Uhm, like a, like a, such a, such a thing wrong. You know, it says air fryer, so I just thought it was an air fryer. I didn't really look into it, uh, beyond that because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it doesn't really have like that huge of an effect on my life. Like I don't, you know, is it, is it an air fryer or is it not? I don't care. I just want to eat food. Like it doesn't really matter. Yeah. He was cross. He was very cross. But no, I mean that, that, that guy was very angry about it.


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[Assistant] What about those people that the Triforce gets them through long car journeys as well? I like that. You know, I like- picture this, somebody right now probably like in America or something is on a long road trip, they're driving to see like their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're Nan in California or something and they're not from California. They're in their car and they're just listening to Triforce. You know, they're just driving down the highway. It's stark.


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[Assistant] You don't have to include yourself in the picture unless, unless you're like a really sweaty hunk or you got like big gazongas or whatever, you know, like.


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[Assistant] Like the Diet Coke guy with no shirt on and he's got like a moist chest, you know, like his chest is glistening cause he's been like, uh, I don't know, washing windows or whatever the Diet Coke guy used to do.


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[Assistant] I hate that. It's like, you know that scene in Minority Report when Tom Cruise is showing off to his kid in the pool and he goes down, holds his breath and he's like, look, I can hold my breath for a minute. And then he gets back up and he's like, Timmy?


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[Assistant] You watched a preview by accident, yeaah, so you probably saw, uhm, Samwise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, listen, so Enthusiast and Jacob were telling me about this yesterday, we were playing some Apex, and uh, they were like, oh yeaah, he calibrated his Guardian, and I, I for some reason wasn't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they're like, oh no, it's, no, it's for Dota. And I was like, whoa, what, Dota? And Jacob's like, yeah, I know, I've only played the game for like 200 hours and, uh, he's like the same, same rank as me.


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[Assistant] What happened, what happened to like the, uh, like the golden stack, like the, like the munt city?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, that's harsh. I don't think you need to be like, uh, again, like going back to the guy who sits in his basement, his mom's basement, eating hot dogs all day and playing video games all day. I don't think you need to be that guy to get invited to events. Like you're, you got personality, you're a good commentator and stuff like that.


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[Assistant] But it's still, it's still hugely popular and the people who make money off of it are very successful as well. So there's that side of it. Like, I mean, if you're sure it's a kid's game, but like if you're fucking becoming a millionaire from playing it, you're probably not going to rub you that hard, is it?


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[Assistant] Yeah, they didn't invite me to that Twitch Rivals thing either. I was like, you know, I was wondering, I've, you know, I do a lot of good moves and good shots and stuff and like, I guess they just didn't recognize that.


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[Assistant] It's like, uh, you know, they get like all these like streamers together and it's like a tournament. It's kind of like.


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[Assistant] Direct me to that dick, I'll get on it. Geez, but I mean, Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know what? I haven't been on Twitch Rivals, but to be fair Twitch did do that farming sim thing plug for me, so I can't complain too much. Like, you know. Twitch Rivals farming sim. They recognize that I'm really good at farming simulator, at least. Uhm, so there is that, but I mean. Anyway. I don't know.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. I've got some important news. Well, it's not important. I don't even think it's interesting actually, but so uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I set out, uh, recently, in the past month or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I took a look at Spotify one day and I thought, you know what? Fuck, all I do is listen to these random ass songs. I don't even know what album they come from. You know, they're all often recommended and you can see that they're like listened to a lot by people on Spotify or whatever and they're, you know, normally big singles or big hits from bands or whatever and I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like even, like even in, even like, so I, so I started by saying I want to listen to classic rock albums because I know a lot of classic rock singles that have been played on the radio or whatever, but I've never listened to these albums fully and a lot of them are rated like, like highly by, you know, music critics and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I, I got a list and I started sort of working my way through it and then I roped in some of my, um, my Canadian high school friends to, to do like almost like a book club, but it's like we listen to albums instead and then talk about it. So like we, so what we've been doing is we've been listening, we've been picking an album.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, and just sorta trying to like, cause sometimes you listen to an album and it's like, I don't like this, like I can't, it doesn't gel with me, but if you listen to it four or five times, you're like, oh shit, you know, actually some of these songs I'm starting to recognize, they're catchy, I can appreciate this, like it sounds really good, the lyrics are nice or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you start, like, you start looking into it a little bit more and you find out that there's all these interesting stories behind recording the albums often involving, like, bathtubs full of cocaine and stuff like that. Excellent. And, and, but like, you know, sometimes they, they have, like, these, like, unorthodox methods for, like, recording.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Certain things like, uh, I think we were listening to Rumors by Fleetwood Mac, the whole album. There's a song in that where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of the drumming is done on a chair, like just like hands on a chair, slapping a chair sort of thing, but you can't, they change the sound around a little bit. So you can't immediately tell that that's what it is. But then if you listen closely, like, oh shit, yeah, he is actually slapping a chair. Just things like that, right? It's kind of cool. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the albums I've done so far, I did a couple by myself before I hooked my friends in for this book club, uh, album club thing. But the albums I did by myself, uh, to begin with was, uh, I wanted to listen to some Beatles albums, cause I, you know, I was like, whatever, I've heard a lot of Beatles songs, never listen albums.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I listened to Abbey Road and I loved it. I never even knew that half of these songs existed on this album, but I'd heard most of them just through TV and stuff. You know, they always use like tunes, Beatles songs and tunes and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I listened to Abbey Road and then I moved on to Sgt. Pepper and the White Album. So I listened to all those fully a couple of times, really enjoyed them. Some of them I went back to and listened to again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then once I got my friends roped in, we did Led Zeppelin 2, which was amazing. Really, really good. We listened to that a bunch of times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We take recommendations, but we sort of decided as a group that some, some albums and artists are gonna be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now is a bit of a challenging one. We're listening to, uhm, to, uh, Armed Forces by Elvis Costello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably like talking heads, uh, but like not just rock, we'll probably move into like some pop stuff as well, like we'll probably need to listen to like an R.E.M. album at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like daft punk and stuff like that. But yea, it's just to try to like immerse ourselves into these albums. I just thought it was like an interesting thing to do, you know? Like a little side thing, you know? You're walking somewhere, you can listen to an album, or like you're putting your kids to bed, just put an album on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've always, I've always listened to lots of music, but like I said, I've just been ruined like with like technology with Spotify and stuff, you know, with playlists of like, you know, top hits or whatever. There's all these songs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not, not like recently. Like I used to buy albums back when, you know, that's all you could do. But like since, since the internet and Spotify and like Napster and all that kind of stuff, like, no, I have never really listened to like, I've never listened to a new album. Like it's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another one we're dreading, Pink Floyd. Like, I've never really listened to a lot of Pink Floyd. And neither have my friends. But we all, we all sort of like, just assume that it's very boring. But, highly rated. Like, I think Dark Side of the Moon, it like, appears on many like, top 50 lists as like, number one rock album and stuff, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I truly believe that because I don't listen to any new music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's, you know, it's not, not necessarily like playing a game or something like that. Like, you know, sometimes I'm just putting my son to bed and I'll just have like this album playing in the background and just like fall asleep and stuff. It's nice. It's really good. I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem I'm finding with it now, I don't know if you guys have noticed this, is that like, because I've got it integrated into Spotify, uhm, I think there's like some fuckery going on in Spotify where like, it's almost like YouTube with like SEO or whatever, there's like bands and albums that are somehow


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sometimes do, like when I was playing Farming Simulator I was listening to copyright music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get like, uh, get some little umbrellas out there for some alfresco, oh wait, hang on a second, it's already, get some like, um, pfff, man, how do you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is why I can't open a restaurant. I mean, I don't even know where to start with all this stuff. It's a problem. It's a huge problem for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know man, I was watching that, back to the topic of the 5 billion pound sewer pipe. Uhm, big problem in London is wet wipes. Yeah. Uhm, going into the sewage system and coming out onto the, uhm, onto the banks, the Thames. It's not just that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prostitutes are so, so very often off the grid though, like they don't have dental records and stuff, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard though, like, uh, I don't know, like, I don't know if you've, like, looked into it much, but it's really hard to burn a body, too. Like, you have to have- I'm sure it would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't just put, well that too, but you can't just like put them in a fire pit and they're gonna, you know, it has to be a very intense, consistent heat over a long period of time and stuff, like it's insane. Trust me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again. Big Coca-Cola. Yeah, that's right. Big dentistry is screwing this country over. Big dentistry. They're always out there doing these unnecessary root canals. How do you know you even need one? Sure your tooth is in pain or whatever, but like Christ you might not even need a root canal. And there you are getting one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they got you exactly where they want you all tired and flustered and you feel like you feel like giving up and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, sometimes you just want to go where everybody knows your name, and they always sound the same and stuff, but you want to go where people see the problems are all the same. You want to go where everybody knows your name, you know what I'm saying? Yes!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zeitgeist, was it like the uhm, something like that? It was that one I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you thought about it. You were watching it and you felt angry at the time and you're just like, this is fucking bullshit and I don't believe this at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you went away and you couldn't stop thinking about it and then it got its hold on you and corrupted your brain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like, you know, we're sort of accustomed to believing things that we read, right? Like you look up information, before the internet even, you looked up information in like an encyclopedia or you read something in a magazine or a newspaper or whatever and it felt...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It felt legit, right? Like it felt almost official and you believe it. Yeaah. Uhm, and now with the internet, it's the same. You're reading something and you think, I'm reading this so it must be true and it must be legit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the internet, and I mean even with magazines and stuff like that, you know, who's writing this stuff? Like, do they know what they're talking about necessarily? Or are they just writing it like, or are they insane or whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, I guess now that there's, it's easier to put together like a documentary, like you look at stuff that's on YouTube or whatever and, and, and it's very easy to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, at the end of all of it, he will judge us, and uh, if he, if he deems that, those decisions, the anti-vaxxers, to be stupid, they're going straight to HE double hockey sticks. I'm sorry, that's all there is to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's by design though. I bet you this was all, it's by design. They created this gigantic, um, shit clown fiesta on purpose so that everybody would concentrate on this and ignore all of the other dumb shit that the Tories do on the side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're so, they're so dedicated to root as well that they don't want you to eat any, uhm, non-root vegetables or, or anything. Like, they're just like, you know what? No more fun, all you can eat is potatoes, and uhm, your teeth will be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With roots on the front of it. And uhm, that's how they do it, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you did decide to take the plunge and listen to it, we want pictures of the space that you listen to it in. And please no pictures of creepy dungeons or jail cells or whatever we don't want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I suppose it's like a drum beat, I guess. Yeah, you could do a drum beat. Can you do, uhm, can you do any percussion like on your, on your chest with your hands or like on a chair or something like that? We'll think of something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a responsibility involved too. It would mean that we'd have to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might actually, yea. Oh my god. It might be 99.9, holy crap. That's almost been timed perfectly, cause how far away are we from the big live 100 episode? Couple of weeks. Two weeks? Couple of weeks, yea. Two weeks. About two weeks away?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's not going to be one next week either. Well the week after I should say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the, when the horn blows and all of the other, uh, Fred Flintstone people leave right on time, there we are, working the extra hours, putting in, putting in work, putting in that extra effort to make another podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? I've only ever watched the UK one. One thing that I always liked about the UK one was how shit everything was. The office was just so depressingly...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just seem kind of depressed and like, not depressed, I don't know. It's like, it felt like a little bit more realistic. Like I think, I think a lot of people could identify with the characters in that show more easily. You know, there was no gloss over it, right? I've never seen the US one, so I don't know if that's the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they must have moved away from the original format fairly quickly, right? Or have they just extended it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does the US one have, like, uhm, a guy like, uh, what's his face? Like the, you know, like the, the typical office jobs worth who, like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people have trouble with that, like remember like Joey from Friends, same, same problem, just like completely typecast. Kramer never went on to do anything because nobody could see him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, yeaah, sorry yeaah, he went on to do something a bit controversial, but, but no, you know what I mean, like, he's never been in a, another show or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and, and he had like that sort of like bro dynamic with Chandler, right? Where they had like their own lazy boy chairs and shit like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, that had, uh, what's it called, uh. Can you remember? Uh, fuck, I'm trying to think of the name. It had Denise in it, right? A different word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they had, Cosby, there was like a, like a reinvented Cosby show that wasn't part of the original Cosby timeline that came back when he was like much older. Yeah, it was like just another Cosby show and it was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Similar in format, but completely different. Like, it was bizarre. It was just so fucking weird. And I think Theo was in it as well, possibly. But, I don't remember it well. I'm not sure if that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So coming back to some of the Seinfeld cast, it was like a, it was like a very sort of George, Elaine and Kramer all suffered massively, like not being able to land any roles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She did, but that was only, only very recently though. Like, I mean, not very recently, but like, it took her a long time. I mean, Seinfeld ended in the 90s, right? Veep is like a couple of years old, I think. Like, it took a while for her to like, actually break out into anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, watch the TV, watch the crappy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I always imagine you doing it in like a sterilized room like, uh, like in a bubble or something with like a turtleneck on and like your mom just like only lets you watch like casualty and maybe like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So get this, get this. You ever have those sock suspenders? Like, you know, the ones that, like, corporate, corporate men wear, you know? Hell yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of what was in the show was sort of like, you know, like, you know, in the, in the actual show when George and Jerry pitched NBC the show about nothing and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of that stuff was more or less their story. Cause there was a lot of Larry David's comedy is infused with like his real life experiences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never watched the American office. I kinda, I kinda just brushed it off or shrugged it off and didn't bother watching it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the reason I, the reason I didn't watch it was because I, cause it's Steve Carell's in it, right? Yeah. And I just thought it was just gonna be him being him, which was like funny years ago, like I found him really funny, like, you know, when he was on the Daily Show and whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, you know, like when he started getting big in Hollywood and being in movies and stuff, you know, it just like, it just makes like all those sounds and stuff. And it's like, again, it's pretty funny, but I thought that the office was just gonna be that, you know, it's like, oh, here comes our wacky boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That girl that's selling the bathwater on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was away this weekend, I was at Coxcon this weekend, which is not a porn convention, uhm, it's, uh, it's for Jesse Cox. Was she there? No, she wasn't there, but people were, people mentioned like the whole bath water thing or whatever, and it's one of those things that people sort of mention, it's like, oh, I can't, I can't believe that sort of thing, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But apparently she's got like, uh, on her Patreon, she does...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should do this. I think her top, I think her top tier one is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll do anything basically. Uh, and so somebody did the top one and said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eat like a raw egg, shell and all. And so there's a video of her on the internet fucking eating an egg and there's just like fucking yolk and shit dripping down and she has to eat the shell and you just hear like crunching on the shell and stuff and oh my god it's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever been to her Twitter page? No, I didn't. Oh, go check it out right now, flax. Go to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think there's any nudes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't really, uh, I didn't know much about her until like, uh, obviously, you know, the whole sort of bathwater meme thing started going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And delighted. No, no, no, I want to say for the record, I wasn't particularly delighted, it's just, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I don't get anything like that on Instagram. My Instagram account, okay, I started it up because I have a problem where I live with seagulls shitting on my laundry that's drying on the line. And, uh, so I kind of use my Instagram account as a photo evidence journal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I can compete honestly, I think like, I think I gotta find a different way, Lewis. I don't think I can match, you know what I mean? You haven't got the figure of the young Instagram star. I don't think I do, I don't think I got the looks, I don't think I got the personality, I don't think I have the chutzpah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's like, hi, I am sips or something like that, I think. Hi, it's sips. Hi, it's me sips or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, well I told you, I set up the account very specifically for one thing, I'm just, and then I kinda like lost, lost interest, you know? It didn't, it didn't get a million overnight and I was just like, eh, it's not worth my time. I'm gonna follow you guys, I'm looking out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, like how old are we talking? Like the Vegas Minecon pictures and stuff? I'm talking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's those, those are the ones. Nice. Dream. Dream, dream boy. The dream boy pictures, yea. Fresh face, young, chubby, water retaining ass, motherfucker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. You water retaining motherfuckers. You water retaining ass, John Travolta, necked fuckin' chipmunk cheeks motherfucker. Uhm, yeaah, so uh, sorry Lewis to Instagram, what kind of things, uh, do you post on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find social media, I don't know about you guys, but I find it utterly soul-destroying and depressing. I get like no joy out of being on social media. No, neither me. It's such a fucking cesspool, isn't it? Like holy crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when you post on Instagram, Louis, does it post to Twitter as well? It can do. I have a program if it doesn't. I have it linked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're taking pictures of bird shit on your shorts, they're triangulating. They, they know, they know where you live and they know you're, they know the kind of stuff that you're buying and fuck those shorts that they bought from H&M.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to, you don't have to go if you don't want to. Okay. It'll be really fun though. Trust me. It'll be really good. No, I'm, I'm up, I'm, I'm, I'm down. I'm up and down. He's a legend. He's a classic, right? And you can't, it's his official UK tour as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say he's probably like, uh, he's gotta be, well, part of the Wu-Tang, they gotta be kinda like founding fathers of that, that golden era of hip-hop leading into what's now modern. I think the, I think the Zoomers shun them now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think for a while there they were like considered, you know, the best, but now. The zoomers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His style is still very much like that, you know, there's still a very like 90s vibe to his music, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it is like Jam Master Jay. Jam Master Jay, yeaah, he's uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it evolves somewhat, but it still has like a foundation sort of thing. So like a lot of like rappers that you hear from the nineties, they still sound very much the same. Although their voices are like a little bit deeper because they've gotten older or whatever, you know, their bodies are starting to portray them and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I mean like, uh, like all the Wu guys are like almost 50. Are they as good as ever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I mean, it's like anything. When you're younger and you're hungrier for things or whatever, your music, your output's gonna be much different, isn't it? Like, if you have something to say or whatever. I mean, these guys have been millionaires for decades now, so it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their experiences and stuff. Yeah, they can go back to them and talk about the old days or whatever, but you know what I mean? Like most of them are like pretty happy and comfortable now. So like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kids stars that happens with a lot because I think even to get your kids into that sort of thing to begin with, I mean a kid's not gonna want to become an actor or a singer or anything at that age. They don't know what the hell's going on. So that's like purely driven by the parents who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then can see the dollar signs in their eyes sort of thing, right? Like you see like a lot of YouTube kids are like that now too, you know, like the ones that open toys and stuff. Just the way that they woke up and thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, of course, but then the kid is fucked up going into later years because then the kid's like, well, hang on, that's my money. Like where's all my money? And the parents have just like pissed it up a wall. That kid is fucked up because he's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what have his parents done with it? They bought a whole bunch of rustic themed wooden ornaments for their house. So that's all they got to show for it after it's all done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Country home. Home is where the heart is. With a wire to hold it up and, you know, like those ornaments that you get, like those like rustic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was talking about this yesterday when I was streaming, talking about selling out and degrees of selling out and stuff and there's, it's weird, isn't it? Like we're talking about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like how I, like I'm playing Minecraft now and for a while I was always like, Oh God, I can't believe people still play Minecraft. It was a fad from like a while ago or whatever, but I've actually like enjoyed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm playing it recently because I'm actually playing the game properly instead of just, you know, recording it for YouTube or whatever. Like, I built some cool stuff that I'm proud of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I feel because I'm enjoying it, I don't feel like a big sellout just for picking up a game that was like trending or whatever because I'm genuinely enjoying it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I don't, I don't feel like I'm forcing myself every day to play it for money and for, you know, more followers or whatever. And there's like, there's, but there's a very fine line, isn't there? Like it can just quickly become like, I'm just doing this for the money or I'm just doing this for the fame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've been trying to join a pro team. TSM Lewis, you're trying to become the next big 16 year old pro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've gone like the opposite way because I used to actually just record Minecraft for the money because it was popular and I knew I could make money and get views from it. And now I still can, but I actually enjoy playing the game now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't feel like I have to justify it much, I just find it interesting, you know, like how easy it is to sell out, uhm, but then what actually constitutes selling out, right? And there's like varying degrees of it, like selling out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, it's close. I've, uh, I've, interestingly, I've made a lot of money off of other people's Minecraft parody music recently as well, which I'm not sure legally where I stand on that, but it has been fairly lucrative because I hate them all so much. People are willing to donate a lot of money to get me to play them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't refuse. Somebody gives me 50 bucks to play a song. I'm playing that song. You know what I mean? They're selling out and then there's just like hating money, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a balance in there somewhere, so. Yeah, there is definitely a balance. I do, I do love money. I don't dislike money, so somewhere in there there's a sweet spot, but I don't want to listen to those songs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do sponsorships, uh, deals more often, uhm, if they were offered to me, because I, I truly believe that nobody wants to touch me with a barge pool. Like, uh, they just see me as some sort of, uh, like leper on the platform, and they don't want to give me any opportunities to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody wants to sponsor me. So I mean, so yeah, so of course I can, I can berate sellouts and stuff because I'm not getting any opportunities. This is the kind of fucking chat we have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an interesting viewpoint as well because there's a lot of people out there, more so than ever now. It always has been popular thing for people to dabble in and try to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make it on Twitch and stuff like that, but I think, I think it's good to, I think it's good if you're an aspiring streamer, YouTuber, whatever, to get some of these insights, at least most of them are joking, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fairly often, but it's always like what, what are some, what are some tips I could use to do to get into it? And I never know what to say because my whole experience and journey has been unlike many others. Like I was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the main thing is, is that they, you, when you're, when you're setting up a game, stuff that was introduced in a, in a DLC previously that people, some people liked and some people didn't, I think you just need to have an option to enable and disable stuff, right? Like, cause, cause I heard that the, uh, like the, the, like the trade,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have some very tight children. The last run I had a CK2 was like the fucking best. Holy shit. It was so good. I owned everything. My empire was enormous. It was so big. I could not control it anymore. It just descended into chaos almost instantly. But man, it was fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How does this happen man? I don't want to jinx myself but man I've never lost luggage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Features a lot of, uh, disgusting soulless architecture like Soviet Russia. So I'm just saying, that's your thing. Stop on by.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They announced a lot of stuff, didn't they? I played that, uhm, after Surviving the Aftermath, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's promising, it's surviving Mars basically, but in a different setting with a couple of different mechanics and stuff, but I think it's alright. For a city builder, resource manager sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are they gonna do? Just chuck it all in the garbage? What a waste. Perfectly good lasagna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, lunchtime, I'm certainly not gonna want it now. Yeah, well, I mean, uhm, some people might have loved it so much at lunchtime that they were like, fuck yeah, dinner too!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cheese comes from an animal, uh, and therefore vegans don't eat anything to do with animals, like nothing that comes from an animal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it starts, it starts with uh, with milk, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cows only produce milk to feed their young. So a cow, a cow is purposely, uh, impregnated constantly to keep it producing milk that is then not given to a baby cow and bottled for human consumption. And that's why vegans don't drink milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like their babies are normally slaughtered for uhm, for like, uh, whatchamacallit. I think- Veal? Renit and, uh, yeaah, Veal I think, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thing for kids to drink. It's got a lot of stuff in it that they would normally not get because kids don't want to fucking eat anything. They just want to sit around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you eat properly, yeaah. But I mean, for people who don't eat properly, which is the vast majority of you unfortunately, I think milk is pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your gutty works change, right? Like I'm the same with a lot of different food. A lot of different food that I didn't like when I was younger. I guess my palate has now decided to accept it. You used to swallow a lot of cum. Well, this is it. And now, uh, now I find myself eating a lot of shit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's the byproduct of a living thing. But the thing is, like, I've spoken about this before, like, not on here, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other thing as well for, for vegans is that there's, there's degrees of veganism as well, right? Because some vegans are just like, yeah, okay, I don't eat honey, I don't have dairy or whatever, I don't eat meat and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not that, it's the, it's to get these things set up and to, to get them ready for mass manufacturing. You have to tear down like tons of forest, rainforest, everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so you have to take into account the, the habitats of animals as well through all this. So like, any, any component to mass manufacturing is going to have, take its toll on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we live in a western society, you know, we're used to getting everything in a can, uh, instantly off the shelf where there's just an abundance of everything and whatever, like we're conditioned in a big way, but so like you have to think about all of that stuff too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but there's, there's ways around everything now. Even like, there's even like vegan cheese now. There's, you know, we're making, we can make like fake meat out of fucking mushrooms and stuff. Like it's, it's the best time to get into any of this stuff. And it's a lot more sustainable to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's good that some people have cut all of that out of their diet and I'm glad that those people have the willpower to do it and are aware of the issues.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You really got that cucumber did not see what was coming. All of a sudden it was in this dark cave and it smelled like poop up there and it was, where am I?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is this man doing to me? In and out and in and out faster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Right. But uhm, you know, like, I, I think, I, I think aiming could do those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think thinking long term and trying to do things that are a bit more sustainable in the long term is never a bad thing, right? Like, wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I know, but there's, there's degrees too. You know, it's never, it's never black and white, right? There's, there's always, there's always bits in between. Some people take it further than others and stuff. It's just what it, how it goes, right? They won't have eggs. Fuck eggs. What kind of eggs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't even have cream eggs. Cause there's, yeah, Lewis can't even eat chocolate. Uh, he has to get vegan chocolate, right? Cause there's no, I can eat dark chocolate. Oh yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Dark chocolate is really nice actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it. That's one thing I used to hate when I was a kid. Now I love it. I love dark chocolate now. I used to hate it. I used to not be able to eat it at all. Now I eat so much of it that I make myself sick. Almost daily. I've got a problem. Send help. Can't stop eating the chocolate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever played Rainbow Six Siege? Oh man, I've been playing it recently. I've developed a love-hate relationship with that game. I get owned from so many nerds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it and hate it at the same time. I love that you can like melee a wall and poke a hole in it and then shoot through that hole at somebody. I think that's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Clancy presents Rainbow Six Siege by Tom Clancy. Music by Tom Clancy. Written by Tom Clancy. Sign up now for 25 free tombucks. He's been dead for 10 years. But he's back!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a sick burn the other day on the Jingle Jam bundle, uh, when I said that, uh, you guys are going to get artifacts in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Further to that, because they just announced a subscription model for Fallout 76. That's gonna be in there too, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just thought I'd make you wear the burns just in case you guys were considering adding any of those two games, because uh, shame on you if you are, because that's garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we got a customized Fallout 76 trinket that you can attach to your gun in Fallout 76 as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the wrong year to try to push your free Hong Kong t-shirts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Games they announced! They've got a, they've got a first-person shooter coming out, they've got a Diablo-like game coming out, they've got a, the card game that's just come out as well, they've got TFT, like, all of a sudden this company, like, the joke has been that they've had one game for like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over a decade. Now all of a sudden they potentially have like eight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure a lot of them are just ex-Blizzard. Like, I think that, I think people just jump ship from Blizzard and go to Riot and that's like the career path for them or whatever. We should start a games company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hang on. Oh, there's a reference. Good. Anyway, so uhm, well, Lewis, send me the list so I can add some more games to the list and maybe we can get some other stuff in the bundle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about, what if we get, we could try to get some Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege. Sign up now for 25 TomBucks and also you can get a customized Lewis avatar put onto your Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege gun. Or face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not Siberian Nomads either then? No. No. No. No. Cause I mean, we are.