[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't feel like there's like a portion of the audience that knows what Hey Bear is and then a portion that doesn't, so I feel like I don't, like, I feel like- Feels weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll start taking like a walking stick. You know, like, uh, like a trail stick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, just, you know. Did you say compass? Yea, a little compass on the top. That compass?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are you complaining all the time? Yeah, alright. Why are you complaining? What's another one? Comcast! We don't do com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com- com


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's got an E at the end. That's why I think the E makes it. Alright, I got you. This is a language episode, I believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reading some YouTube comments one day, I don't know if it's in this one, and they talk about the big reveal, and they're like, it's been written on the title of the video the entire time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to say I'm really blown away by this compass thing, because as I'm sitting here, I'm realizing that I say computer, not com-puter, and like company, not company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Company. Yeah, I say company. Yeah. So why am I saying compass?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what, like if you comp a ticket though. That's true. If a ticket gets comped. But that's the end of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think if it's busy, do, I think you should do it every time, but I don't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do agree that like, just get out of the way, let other people pump gas. But usually it's not, if it's busy. But usually it's not that busy, there's plenty of spots. I think that's the problem with Bucky's, is people park and then they get lost in the store, they got no compass, they don't know what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you know what? I stopped in Lebanon the other day and I ate at a, uh, a Thai restaurant and there was some ladies in there, really country at the bar yelling. She was like, I ain't never had Thai food. And she's like, I'm like, well, you're in here right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, I was making fun of the place a little bit. The food was great. And then somebody paid my tab. I don't know who it was, but they paid my tab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did it many times. Yeaah. And it would freak us all out. Kind of a southern Albert Einstein. Yeaah. Yeaah. I mean, he got it. He really got it. He went to jail a lot, but when he was not in jail, he got it. How often?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think what, I mean, several times, I think what, he would just disappear for a while. I got a letter from him at home that I kept. He wrote me from jail and, uh, you know, he would get on probation or whatever and then violate it and keep going back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, I mean thankfully my family wasn't really going to jail a lot, but my friends were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, outlier and people and experiments being low. What happens if we do this? And you go curve ball. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I appreciate it, Jesse. Uhm, and you may be right, I may have gotten them confused, but to be, I mean- No, so let's play B as a dog. But if I'm being completely honest though, I did think the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least they started, but it's... Was there not an older logo? What would the IC 80's logo be?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you got, you know, you give it a little leeway with the hands because we're talking fictional anyway, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't sound right. Burger King's struggling if they're like, we're also doing Icing. Maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, they partnered with Icing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I saw a few people talk about this. A lot of people did. And I just want to maybe take a brief poll of the room. How many people do you know that have died from nectarine seeds? I don't even know if I've met that many people that are actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever heard of anybody though being like, well, they're in the hospital, what happened? Ah, they ate the nectarine seed. Because they died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it's a small amount and it's not gonna, I mean, I can't tell you to eat it. Don't, I'm just saying, don't eat it. But I've eaten it. I'm fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apricots have it. I've eaten a bunch of apricot seeds. They told me my whole life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll go, don't eat the nectarine pit, and then you'll go, that, uh, candy has a weird ingredient, uh, you know, red, yellow, five in it, and that, and they'll go, don't be ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like Mellow Yellow. Mellow Yellow, oh yeaah. Yeaah, they're like, that can hurt your body. Don't be ridiculous. Drink the Mountain Dew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda got my head about it. Yeah. It lists sodium thing, but it also lists, it just says the word salt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time I was in Nebraska and I'll ask the people at the hotels in a small town. I was like, Hey, you got any like local restaurants around here? And, uh, she goes, there's a Casey's down there. And I was like, what's Casey's? She goes, it's a gas station.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go, oh, Casey's. Casey's. Gas station, that's not what I'm looking for. But you're right, the pizza is good. Okay. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the way to Lexington, there is a, they make donuts in that gas station. It's so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeaah. I mean, that would be, honestly though, I think I would get to the second one and just, you know, just go, alright, I guess that's what's going on around here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like to see what's going on in there. I also like them to see me go into the bath, cause I'll go to the bathroom very fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I like to be, go into the bathroom before we're technically allowed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. So I like people to see that that's happening. Yeaah. I like to be like- You're like the guy that sets it up. Yeaah. I guess we can go to the bathroom now. Look at me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't even have to go, you just want to show them you can do it. Yeah, you guys are, you guys have to use the bathroom right now, but I'm doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. That makes me feel good. Aaron said he's never used the bathroom on a plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he started eating bad. He's bad. He's off the wagon. Uh, yeah, I'm back on the air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like if you're a drinker and you're off the wagon, that means you're drinking again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can't be like, no, I'm going to quit today and be considered on the wagon, I don't think. Isn't that what I'm saying? He's eating bad now, so he's falling off the wagon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was in, uh, Dayton, Ohio with a funny bum, and it was great. A lot of, uh, a lot of Nateland people came out, uh, I got some gifts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got some cigars and, uh, it was great. We had a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, sometimes even just saying a word wrong can really confuse people. I mean, a lot of times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forgot about that one. That is a really good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I say, if I scroll up and it's longer than a couple of swipes, I'm like, oh, I'm out. This is so many swipes, dude. Try to wrap this up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also at the same time, a keen eye to catch the running of that, of the man in the, in the movie. So you're, maybe you're, you're blocking out real storylines and you're picking up others.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, favorable. That does not polyglot. That sounds like youth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He should look into just, you know, being a translator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you really? Oh wow. Cause he was space travel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] C-3PO? Well, he was a robot. I don't know. Yeah. Well, there's only 6,000 on earth, you said. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, including that. Yeah. But he was a compu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tough to really call that a dead language if everything's deriving from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, the written, uh, Chinese language is mind-blowing. I mean, it is... I don't know what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a, it seems like it'd be a lot to write. But a lot of people say that English is like, especially, I guess like American English is very hard to learn because there's so many.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Words that uhm, you know, they sound the same, but they're used differently, spelled differently, but sound the same. Like there and your.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do will, will can do like, like will, will, will, like you like the name and then you have like you're willing something or will they do it? You sound like you're making yours up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that guy crashes, uh, well I guess I'm the senior now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you know? And then that's a different no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just play The Sims a little bit. They had a, they kind of had their own little language. What's The Sims? The video game The Sims, uh, you know, you play it on the computer and I like, I played it so much, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that, that I actually had memorized some of the things they said and it's... Do you know any of them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just, when I played it, this was like a, like kind of the original version, right? So there was only a few phrases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're playing, you just hear the same ones over and over and over again. Yeah. I loved it. I could do quite a few for back in the day. Uh, what kind of house did you live in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, you know, you start off with a, you know, small one and then, then you get the cheat code and then you build the biggest house possible. Oh really? Yeah. Oh, there's a cheat code? Oh yeah. You could also, I would build, you could build it like little walls around them and then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can never get out and then they die and then you have a little, you know, it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get bored with it fast and you start killing off the Sims. The Sims 1 voice is dusty. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about language stuff like, you ever see like where, you know, they talk about like, you know, you have the banks, uh, control the money and the money is like liquid and it like flows and then you have like the river banks are on the side of a river.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's that whole thing, like if you have money in a house and you need to liquidate some assets, you know, it's like you, you're selling it to get money. So money flows, there's a money flow, cash flow. And then the banks control that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there is, yes, I mean, yeah, I mean, you wouldn't go to another country and try to be like, I'm looking for money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By making a river motion. I mean maybe. Yeah, why did you bring all that up? Well, it's language.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. And then the duality of words, you know. Ooh, duality. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy's aggressive. Can you guys whistle? I can't whistle really. Not with my mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let the tailgate down, the dogs run up, get in the dog box. And we knew it was time to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but like, but just with the, like what the, you know, like the name for a donkey, right? And then you take that and that was just the name for the donkey. And now that is a word that, you know, people say it all the time, but it's a cuss word, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Donkey is? What were the other names for Donkey?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in that sense, that was just the name for it. There was no reason for it to be bad. And then it became bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That example, yes. Yes. That word came first? I think so, yeah. That's in the Bible. Yeah. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. No, yeaah. And, and, you know, I had a teacher that once said that, you know, if you, people that cuss a lot, it's like shows that they have a limited vocabulary, right? And then there's these Facebook things going around for a while that are like, people that cuss a lot, studies show that they're actually much smarter. And I went on that and I can't, I read that article and then I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to find the study and you never could actually find the study.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stuff people say sometimes is blows my mind. I had, I had a guy recently and I was like, just as I just keep it relatively clean and the stuff he said, I thought, what would you say if you were allowed to say whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's good advice too, cause I, I would, I'd never cuss in front of my parents. I mean with my friends, especially for a while, I got pretty wild with stuff I would say, but I would never cuss in front of my parents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I had friends in the trailer park that I grew up with. I mean, they would cuss their parents out, their parents would be cussing, their parents would be drunk. I mean, and it's like, but that's just not how it was in my trailer. We weren't rolling like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just having to do that. Like that's why that's people's favorite. Yeah, like some rules, like I used to take improv classes and people would go, I thought you were just making it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are you taking classes? And it's like, well, there's, you know, there's rules to how to create a great improv scene. To make it watchable. Yeah. So if you're not following those rules, then it's out of control. And that's kind of what, like if there's no,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you slip in a, like a cuss word in a setting where you're not supposed to, very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're just allowed to say them and you've said nine million, then it's not funny anymore. Not funny anymore. You know, cause it's like you forgot to write the joke because you're just relying on the word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A well timed cuss word can be the funniest. If it's in, I mean, to me, if it's in the right spot, it could be like, boom, it really hits. But if you're just using it casually, then it's lost its power. There's no surprise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy's an Italian mobster, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, people lose gigs all the time for, uh, they can't be clean, or they don't want to be clean, and they just lose gigs. And I'm like, why? I thought you were trying to do comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One time I was on the calendar at the same time as Aaron, mine said clean comedy, Aaron said adult.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a show where they had a sign language interpreter there, and then every time I would wave, they would wave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I thought that came from not being able to speak. Like if you couldn't speak, you were, it was dumb. Like dumb didn't mean stupid. Like dumb meant you can't speak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, dumb wasn't necessarily a bad word. It was just describing not being able to talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we took it to now mean stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think. And get her to cut the grass a couple of times. And then she'll appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he may not consider us friends, but. You do. I do. We're friendly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm off this weekend, which is great. Next weekend I'll be in Syracuse, New York at the Syracuse Funny Bone, but just go to DustySlay.com, check out the dates. People tell me the website's broke all the time, but it looks good right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guy sent me a long email about how broke it was and then I went to the website and I was like, oh, this seems fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Need to hire? You need Indeed. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can attract, interview, and hire all in one place. Start hiring now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah, you wouldn't watch a UFC fight holding the baby, right? It's a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you do anything? I was in Seattle, had kind of a crappy travel day yesterday. I've had a 5 AM flight, which always sounds good until you're about to do it. So I got to stay up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got back to my hotel at midnight and I had a 3am Uber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I got about an hour and 45 minutes worth of sleep. Almost wish I hadn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's interesting. You can kind of trick your body into to go and like, we're just taking a nap. Yeah, we're not trying to get eight hours. Don't be upset when you wake up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I took a 3 AM Uber and then a flew to Nashville connecting flight. Couldn't land in Nashville because of the storms yesterday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we had to go to Louisville and land and then we couldn't leave the plane and I'm just sitting there and I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, dude, I've been, it was like 14 hours before I was able to land in Nashville. But now I'm back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where was, you wouldn't get sunlight, so you'd have to go to these lamps that would simulate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's sun lamps all over campus. People would go and just sit in front of them. Why won't you get light?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They call it the permacloud. It's for like 9 months, you barely see the sun ever. It's just grey, it's overcast, it's gross. So they have these sun lamps all over campus. People go and sit and just soak up the vitamin D. That's how it starts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You understand what it means like definitionally, but you can't wrap your head around what that really is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm scrolling down the article that you sent me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, here's the blueprints of this guy's time machine. Doesn't look super official. It looks like something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a very elementary looking sketch and then just some arrows pointing at stuff. We got some quartz, granite, positive, I mean just a bunch of words. Copyright Mike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's his copyright at the bottom. Just his name. Copyright Mike on the bottom left. Not even the copyright little icon to see. He also wrote not to scale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when they say a dime's worth, they mean physically the size of a dime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you said five bucks worth and they thought you meant, Oh, what do you said? Dimes worth like 10 cents worth of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That helps. Aaron doesn't agree. No, I don't even believe that these contests are real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you don't think anyone? No, I remember reading about the Tootsie Roll pop rapper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If there's a star on it, then you win something, and then that was all fake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think these are all, these are all urban legends. Yea, get you to buy the candy. Mhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Eminem starts it. I think they're all doing it. They start these rumors, they go to playgrounds and they go, hey kids, if it's all green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they go home and tell their parents. Get yourself a golden ticket. Exactly, exactly. But there's no golden ticket. Like Michael Scott?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After taking the lump sum and then taxes on top of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they don't necessarily have all of that money, first of all. Why? Because it's just they don't have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, in theory you can invest, even though the amount is much smaller, you can invest that and you'll have way more than you would by the time those payments got done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a big amount. It's the government though. Difference. What's more stable than the government?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they might have that money somewhere, but it's gonna be tough to scrounge together 1.3 billion in cash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That person still has the pre-tax amount. I mean, they got that amount. It's just if they're smart, they're going to set aside the difference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, that's why you can't tell anybody. A lot of family pop up. You tell your spouse, and that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what you have to do. I know, it probably is very hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess there, I don't know what the technical definition of a swamp is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it just kind of feels, you just feel it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is maybe a little bit marshy, but this is marshy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm addicted to indeed.com. Let me tell you that most people think that finding great talent is harder than avoiding a bear, but with indeed it's as easy as being Barry Sanders. When you're hiring, you need indeed. Here's why it is the hiring platform where you can attract interview and hire all in one place. Stop doing it in a bunch of different places. Do it all in one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of spending hours on multiple job sites, Indeed is a powerful hiring partner that can help you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do it all. With Instant Match over 80% of employers get quality candidates whose resume on Indeed matches their job description the moment they sponsor a job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to Indeed Data US. One of the things I love about Indeed, like I said, is you can do it all in one spot. I've done the hiring there. I've been hired from there. I've done interviews through it. It's a nice service. You need to do it now. Start hiring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com slash Nate. Offer good for a limited time. Claim your $75 credit now at Indeed.com slash Nate. Indeed.com slash Nate. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he was one of the first, when they started the Hall of Fame, they had an initial batch of, like the best players ever, he was one of. Ty Cobb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? I think. There's an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where they talk about that, I think. Hmm. I'm sure it is. But I'm gonna keep saying it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. So this T206 Honus Wagner sold for seven million, you said?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The baseball card market 2020 went insane because of so many of these people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2020 got nothing going on, I'm gonna get back into these hobbies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're saying it like it's a player named Don Russ. It's D-O-N-R-U-S-S is a brand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Don Russ doesn't have licensing agreements with, uh, baseball anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when you buy a Don Russ card now, they're not going to have the actual team name on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The players will be positioned in such a way where you can't see the logo on their jersey because they don't have licensing rights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] FLEER has not been a thing for quite some time. Alright. But... So no one has licensed it, right? It's FNATICS. I think FNATICS bought TOPS, and uh, so in the next year or so, it's gonna be completely different than it is now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the moment, but they've lost it for the next, for the next year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so. Yeah, I pay for trash too. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Have you been slipping through the cracks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It should all just be lumped into one. I pay taxes, then I get all the stuff for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think didn't trash men used to be ripped because they had to pick up those trash cans with their hands. I imagine they used to be like, look like Vikings, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really need to be out of the, out of the vehicle anymore, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. The two guys chilling on the back. Yeaah. Just hanging out. Yeaah. That's how I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This might be a dumb question. I thought the caboose was just what you call the last card on the train.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the early 80s, it was replaced on mainline trains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, I've got some PSAs, I've got some Beckets there. The Becket will actually break down how it's scored in each of those individual camps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one from your era here. Brian, here's a 1969 tops. Jeff. Bill McCool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll play Notre Dame. He was a wide receiver at Notre Dame, but he played professional baseball. For the Cubs and then the Giants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's on the company. Some of it's not your fault. A lot of it's just the luck of the draw. Yes. When they cut them from the big sheet, sometimes you'll just get like, look at this one. This is a Dick Bosman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See the centering's way off on that and that's not whoever found that card's fault. Cause he's not centered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what you mean? Like he's not in the middle? No, look at the black border around the edge there. There's like nothing on the right. That is the way it was cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in 2020, there became such a huge backlog with PSA that you had to pay four or $500 to get one card expedited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and people weren't getting their cards back for like 18 months, two years, because they were just so backlogged. So I've never submitted a card myself there, you just buy them after the fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, these were cards that I got after they'd already been graded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And stuff. Now this is a good example of why you need these grading companies. This is before I knew what I was doing. This is a Ronald Acuna. Gem Mint 10 rookie card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is, I don't even know what grading company that is. That's just, uh, that's something you sell to an idiot, which is what I bought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but, but that company, it means nothing from that particular grading company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's, I bought that after it was already graded in that slab. Cause I thought, oh, a 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A tan Ronald Acuna car. It's going to be worth millions. I got it for like $18. When are you planning this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I don't think any of the cards I have will be worth millions. A lot of these I collect. A, I like Jeff Samarja, and I like funny names. I like old, old school, cool names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big assets, you know, these could be worth potentially millions of dollars a piece.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Oh still. Still get old packs with the gum still in there. I would eat it too. Yeaah. You gotta try it once. Yeaah. I had a piece of gum from like 1982 or 83. I wonder if the gums look good. It's not good. You saved the gum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, or it's a way to hide blood money and bad money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, let's say I had $50 million of money that I acquired through, uh, bad things to get them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I need to move that money around. Let me just buy some artwork.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, or someone that, yeah, lives like one of these guys. They don't care if you know they stole it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does it have sentimental value to him too? Maybe. But he just likes. He just likes Dale Earnhardt that much. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you gotta be ethical about it. You gotta make sure it's a fair trade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you recognized even that day, like the significance of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, there are a few iconic ones. I can think man lands on moon. You can think of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the fun is, the fun is having it. The fun is thinking what this was.


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[Assistant] The meet and greet pass from your rain check tour. Ten dollars, but the rain check tour is still going on, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Signed eight by 10. Is that an authentic still there? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this one, 8 does another 8 by 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The seller looks like a homeless pimp picture from the seller. That's in Spanish or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we got, oh, this is cool. The greatest average American poster. Going for seven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all of that journey's tied up in the value of that to you. In that picture. That's almost like your, you've talked about when you get a watch for all the significant moments in your career. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is the scream painting, which I used to have a poster of this in my dorm room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or you can go, I still retain ownership of this, but I will let you have it in exchange for you just taking care of it and making sure that you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. And at the time it was the most expensive artwork ever sold at an auction. So you could buy it, Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'd pass on the 30 minute zoom meeting with Bobby Bonilla. I don't know what I would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Bobby, Bobby Bonilla's getting a million dollars every year, but he's still getting his 10%. Yeah. Probably. And then he gets another 180,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much was the value of the actual coin? Was it a dollar coin?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My great grandmother, they've collected a bunch of random stuff. We got a big bunch of spoons. We got a spoon collection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I guess they're valuable. I guess they look nice. We just kept them under the couch in the living room because we don't know how to display a bunch of spoons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, I think it fit just right. I think that's why we did it. We were like, Oh, this is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's all kinds of stuff. Yeah, I need to look around. My, my mom just texted me this weekend. She found, uh, my parents are moving, so she's like going through the garage in their house and found, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like you got these, uh, silver, it's like pure silver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you almost don't want to put them in the garage. That feels dangerous. Yea, so under the couches. You know what I mean? So under the couches is a little safer. Yea, a little safer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's got some sort of certification too, but it's old for my great grandfather. So we're going to send that in. You have any idea what it might be?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I saw on eBay, I saw some sold $7,000, $8,000, look a little worse. Wow. Look a little worse than this one. Maybe $10,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Autographed, uh, you can't even see the autograph with your naked eye because it's faded so much. So you have to like look at it under infrared light and then it'll show up and those still sell for thousands of dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is one of those things we don't know. We're not going to do anything with these spoons. We don't really care about them. We're like, we'll pass them down. I think you just think I'll just pass them down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll take those silver spoons? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll loan them to you like a museum and I'll take them back at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At my grandmother, she had a, a guy come and do an appraisal of all her stuff. So we haven't looked at those spoons in particular, but I think at some point we'll take it in. We had a weird pot that we inherited from our great grandfather too. That was worth a lot. And then we had a couple rugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just in a normal house with all a bunch of other stuff, we had these, like a really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact, just the fact that she owned it definitely increased the value of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess if you're that famous and you're like, well, I can just own it. And just the fact that I have it, you can build it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't know if this is true. I've read that Mike Trout will not sign. There's one card of his own that he won't sign because it just becomes too valuable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of his rookie cards, he's like, I just, if I sign that, that's like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It messes up the whole market. That'll just become a crazy valuable card. I don't know Mike Trout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So no, it would just disrupt the whole market because, because this particular card, an autograph would be this valuable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally just by me doing this I can give generational wealth to your family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, in World War II, Nazis destroyed so much artwork.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They came through and burned a bunch and stole it all. And World War II really messed up a lot of, what was it? I just said Dom's Palace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess that was, that was 17 years. It was his first car. So there's definitely sentimental value to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Styrofoam cups. Styrofoam cups are the best. Tastes better out of there. I'm telling you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if not eventually, I'm sure it will be these things, by the way you talked about, you joked about episodes ago about, uh, an Amazon and Alexa riding a Roomba around the house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Amazon just bought Roomba, the company, and people are worried about it because now Amazon will just have a map of your house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll know if you have a crib in your room, they'll know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they bought Roomba for $1.7 billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm sure they're gonna have a little camera on there. It's just gonna know about everything in your home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a big weekend coming up. I'm Thursday night. I'm in Columbus, Ohio at the Columbus funny bone. First time headline in there. And then the next day go to Arlington, Virginia at the Arlington draft house, Friday, Saturday, four shows. Come on. Great, great venues. Yeah. I'm excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to reason with the guys like, dude, I didn't, I was invited out here by the mascot. You didn't see the, and they weren't hearing it. And they're like, we're going to kick you out. It's NFL rule. And he was kind of mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sir Purr invited me out there. Yeaah. Yeaah. That's how you got on the field. Yeaah. Yeaah. I was already having a good time. And we learned together in that moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just kick me out, and then they sit out there and they ask you all kinds of questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got my ID, well, it's like a week later, I got all this free crap in the mail from the Panthers. Oh, that's awesome. Like they realized they screwed up. And so like it wasn't my fault technically. And so I got like a sipper bottle, a key chain, coffee mug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His name is Tommy Donovan and I used to, you know, I used to pretend to be mad at the surfer. Like I'm going to find out who that guy is who got me kicked out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I wasn't even doing stand-up at this time. No, I hadn't even done stand-up. I had been talking about doing it, but at this point I hadn't. That was like 23 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was already dancing in the stands. So every time out, I'd get up and start dancing to make my friends laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so there's like 10 of us and they would be like snickering or whatever. Next time out, I'm up again. Now it's not just my friends. It's people around them. So slowly it turns into a thing. Every time out people start and it grows, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So third quarter, my buddy Marty, he said, you got to get on that grass hill behind the goalpost so the whole stadium can see. I was like, you're a genius. It was a great idea. So, cause Clemson had that grass hill, anybody could just go sit up there. That's how I make my way over there, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, that's when this guy got hurt and they were playing music the whole time and I would just do what is not on this tape is the best part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm literally got like, I don't know, 50, 60 thousand people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it was huge. And so the mascot who's doing his own thing is kind of like, no one's looking at me right now. They're looking at this kid. And so he walked over and just said, come out here and dance with me. He wasn't even thinking. He just waved me out there. And then my friends just threw me over the fence. Get out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's when the tape kicks in. After the invitation. So people who see this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Athletic Greens is giving you a free one-year supply of Immune Supporting Vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just visit athleticgreens.com slash nate for a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. That's athleticgreens.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, contest and he said this was his 14th year playing in this tournament.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when I took lessons, that was just my goal to get to where I could break a hundred.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jason Wirth played in it, and he, every time I see him putt, I thought it was dusty. Because he's got the long hair, and he was wearing a hat, kinda like what you wear, and I thought, I think that's dusty out there, but it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it was the Leanne Morgan episode. It was the last one of last year. I said she would put out a special. You would be, do a late night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and that you would meet Seinfeld and become friends with him and play Augusta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Mark Norman episode from like a year ago, we talked about that and he was like, ah, he knows who you are. And you were like talking to the camera, like Jerry, you're what? And now you're friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah. You all would sound weird. You all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find myself matching the inflection and whatever, if someone calls me, everyone has a different type of greeting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'll answer it, find myself trying to match their energy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I always say it like that cause Ruth read on the neighborhood of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Association that it's been swooping down and trying to grab people's dogs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't, it wasn't succes- Rue saw one successfully take one away. I saw it grab one and then the squirrel got away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now our little dog, we can't just let her out in the backyard to roam around cause hog's going to swoop down and try to grab her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you're not a fan of dogs, so you might just say it's worth it, right? Yeah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron and I did a show at a dog park and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I was one of the first ones, so I kind of set the tone. I think some other people later it happened to, but you know, I'm the one that everyone saw it happen to first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked about tail comics, how, you know, you're gonna know they're closer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had many email exchanges. It usually ends with me doing the last, they've had enough after like five times. Like, all right, let's move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got our camp chairs and sit out in the center of downtown Huntsville and had some Bible talk. There you go. Not fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all love athletic greens. We all love them. Even Dusty. Dusty, you're on board, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we love athletic greens, uh, it's so easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And shake it up and you're ready to go. You get all the daily nutrients you need. It's quick. It's easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It tastes great, just one scoop of powder, water, shake, drink, you're ready to go. Travel packs are great. Uhm, right now,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's time to reclaim your health and help your immune system with convenient daily nutrition. It contains less than one gram of sugar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No GMOs, no nasty chemicals or artificial anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It supports better sleep quality and recovery and also mental clarity and alertness. Just one scoop of water every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one year supply of Immune Supporting Vitamin D and five free travel packs with your purchase, your first purchase. All you have to do is visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate. Again, that's AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But who decides that in China? The government or like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did a, uh, survey a few months ago of Americans to see what animals would win in a fight and what animals humans could beat in a fight. And, uh, if you could pull that up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, 6% of American men said they could beat a grizzly bear in a fight. Which is ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I looked up like, could an MMA fighter like choke a bear out or just anything? And they're like, no, it would be over just like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they fought off, they didn't win a fight. Did they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that, if you can scroll down a little bit further, it'll show like, what animals, that's what, uh, you could beat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, maybe you get lucky and survive, but you're not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's no, you could run from a bear and survive. I'm talking about where he got the worst, he got the worst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These bears weigh five, six, seven hundred pounds. They've got the huge paws and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there was a, uh, the list of deadliest animals in the U.S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you could guess, but we're going to tell you, it's kind of a, it's not what we're talking about. It's not a trick question, but it's not like the meanest animal. The deadliest spider.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mosquito is by far the deadliest worldwide, uh, deer. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You used to have a very funny joke about that, shooting at a deer and he not letting it go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, as far as bear attacks, it basically said don't do what you suggested. Don't try to run from the bear. The grizzly bear that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bails don't work, they said. Not effective warning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, tries to attack you, stand your ground, and shout loudly at the elephant. In most cases, it'll make one or two mock charges and then move off. You gotta be really, really not to flinch there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the elephant isn't mock charging but makes real charge, run from the animal in a zigzag pattern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And find a large obviously hide behind yell something like no or stop that or get out of here at the elephant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now there was a case last month in India where a elephant killed a woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was outdoors and it was just roaming and they were like an outdoor place to have the funeral and the elephant comes out of nowhere. This is India. Comes out of nowhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, what do you do if an alligator or a crocodile comes in? Zigzag. That's what we'd always heard, but that's not true. Oh, what do you do? You roll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you're right. In this case, they say run as fast as you can in a straight line, because you can outrun an alligator. It says they run 18 to 20 miles per hour. It would catch me, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most people they say could outrun an alligator or a crocodile. If you just run as fast as you can away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a couple weeks ago, there was a video of family hiking and a bear started following them. And they had their kids with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hugh Glass, the guy the Revenants based on, that's a real story. The grizzly bear and they did leave him for dead. Two guys, they thought he wasn't going to make it and left him for dead. And then he crawled his way, the safety, insult those guys out. He didn't kill them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think uhm, one of them was fighting in the war and he told him that you better stay and enlist in the army or if you ever leave the army, I'm gonna kill you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He just threatened him, and the other one, I can't remember. One thing I read is he said he just forgave him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just two guys that were left, just like the movie, left to watch after him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, most of them went on. Two guys volunteered to stay and watch them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That bear in Alaska, the one that walked past the tourist?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so crazy that they, I mean, I'm sure they were scared to death, but they're just, I mean, I guess you just freeze, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was a bear attack, especially black bears, incredibly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rare but there was a couple years ago smoking mountains they found a bear eating a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was dead and they were like, wow, this is crazy. They euthanized the bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turns out the guy had already died from a meth overdose, and the bear had just found him. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't like a bear attack. Just happened the bear found the body. But people were freaking out for a short time. Like there's a wild bear on the loose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now constricting snakes, would you know how to, what to do there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Says take your non-dominant hand, wrap your arm around your ribs to try to protect it and then take your dominant and try to pull it off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They see that as a threat, like you're growling at them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should say a wolf encounter, excuse me. A wolf encounter, avoid showing your teeth, lower your head and bow slightly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It says, head for a fire, wolves hate fire, and smokey campfire will discourage a wolf from coming near you. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait a second, can I make a fire real quick? Hold on. Hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And held him down before a group of coworkers showed up to help chase him away. The guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got attacked by a wolf and he got the wolf in a headlock and he held him down in a headlock before his co-workers showed up and helped chase, I assume the wolf away. Oh yeah. Not the guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some biologists say make a fist with your hand and shove it down the wolf's throat to prevent it from biting you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they always say that about sharks, a bunch of sharks in the nose, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because that's their soft spot. And they can smell, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blood or pee from a mile away, so try not to do either of those in the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Henry Joke has a, Henry Cho has a joke about that, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, finding human remains in sharks. And remember, did you guys ever see the movie Open Water?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they died out at sea. Well, they don't know what happened to them. They never found them. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Yeah, they went to court and sued this tour company and the tour company was like, how do we know they didn't fake their death? The guy had written something in his journal about some weird stuff, but, um, but they lost the case. I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, then among apes, chimpanzees are much meaner than gorillas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was orangutan. He fought, but chimpanzees will just, you know, they'll rip your face off. Eat your fingers, they said. They'll eat your fingers. So they said hide your fingers. There was a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Champ name, they call him Saddam, and he terrorized a village in Uganda, was grabbing kids and taking them away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Killed like two kids and attacked seven others. Wow. When was that? In the nineties, mid nineties it says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy. Yeah, they're four times stronger than humans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's been a couple of cases of children falling in a zoo entrapment with a gorilla, and, you know, they've had to euthanize the gorilla. Yeah, Harambe. Harambe was the most


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well known one and it was dragging the kid around. Is that the one that's also holding it like a baby?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the number two state next to Washington as far as Bigfoot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is crazy. There's windows. I think that's where the Pueblo Indians built


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I mean, I think that's what, there are a group of Native Americans called cliff dwellers and they would build stuff like that in the side of cliffs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] LifePoint Church doing a show for adoption to help families with adoption expenses there. Yeah, nice. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Need to hire? You need Indeed. With Indeed, businesses only pay for quality applications matching the sponsored job description. Visit indeed.com slash Nate to start hiring now. That's indeed.com slash Nate. Terms and conditions apply.


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[Assistant] Why do you think that is? You think it's about the teeth? You think as you lose teeth quality, you like hard candies? You just like something hard and like- To suck on. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that's like, then you'd still eat it with your hands. Your chest becomes a plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The new Top Gun has to be coming close to passing all these though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joe list, the comedian got embedded on a minor league baseball team. Oh yeah. What was that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I don't know how that happened, but that's like, that's the dream.


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[Assistant] I think he was the first base coach. I heard him on his podcast talking about he wanted to get in that bat, but I don't know if that ever happened. But he was in the dugout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You all called it rec league? Yeah, rec center. Dixie youth for us. Oh yeah, I had a little Dixie youth baseball too. We didn't have little league in Alabama.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks, I mean if you're just looking at the numbers, it looks like it's less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Then a quarter pound. Fractions are tough, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad once put him in his earplugs and then he like turned his head too quickly and it hit a wall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it messed up his ear pretty, pretty bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you need earplugs for if you're walking around? I think he was using heavy machinery in his garage or something that he couldn't find earplugs. They just put a couple of Q-tips in. This guy seems like a disaster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a little pen at home with a camera at the end of it where you can dig it just to see what's going on in there. I saw a bunch of those videos. I want to see what's going on in mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, I forgot to tell you somebody in Indianapolis this weekend, a big podcast fan told me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the only two where it was, Seinfeld was not brought up in any way, shape or form.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you did advise comics to punch up. Probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should make fun of- You're just punching whichever way nobody else is punching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks pretty inviting. Just people at the shore with bows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they claim, did they? I think so. Oh, they tried to claim they, they never even landed on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You're saying so let's just throw up a little landing strip there in the middle of Antarctica. That way we can fly over it. Yeah. I think you'd also lose radio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sandlot may be the most important movie of my childhood. Yeah. In a lot of ways, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't really hold up. If you watch it as an adult, you're like, this is fun, but it is a movie for children. Why was it the most important movie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just the biggest movie. I watched it all the time. It was quoted very frequently by, I played baseball growing up. It's all we talked about was that movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're killing me. Smalls. I ate a lot of s'mores. Yeah. So it was big for me, but Moneyball is an adult movie and I'm an adult now. Okay. Put away child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Finally, Nate Land has brought to you by Indeed. There is nothing you can't accomplish with a great team.


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[Assistant] This podcast would be nothing without me or Dusty or Brian or Nate. And how did we find these guys? We used Indeed.


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[Assistant] When you're assembling the right set of skills at your company, you need all the help you can get. I mean, we've seen it. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can attract, interview, and hire all in one place instead of spending hours on multiple job sites sifting through these resumes.


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[Assistant] Looking at these CVs. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Use Indeed.


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[Assistant] You can find great talent faster through time-saving tools like Indeed Instant Match, assessments, virtual interviews, all through the platform. One of the things I really love about Indeed is that it makes all the hiring in one place so easy because when you sponsor a post, you're four to five times more likely to get a qualified hire.


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[Assistant] Indeed.com slash Nate, terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, what causes that to happen? You just decide going in this weekend's kind of a wash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's interesting. I would bet all the money I have that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wouldn't know. No, I'm just straight popcorn at the movie theater, but if I had to pick one, I'd pick the peanut M&M's. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm just saying that it said, I think it's a little more rare than they presented it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, aren't P9 M&M's a little more expensive?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Growing up, they used to have this policy whenever a foul ball would be hit over the fence, the announcer would come on and go, please return that ball from the concession stand for a free Coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. And I used to be, I mean, a couple other guys, we just full-time job just out there shagging foul balls. Yeah. Just racking up those cokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After the games, they'd bring out and everyone got a free Coke. All the kids. I don't think they do that anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the healthiest fast food meal I've ever heard of, by the way. Yeah, it might be as healthy as you can get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And how do these things get started? Who's starting that? A candy company that doesn't use the color red that's trying to sabotage another company?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember hearing as a kid that there was a color in Mountain Dew that made men infertile. Yellow Five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at some point this rumor got spread that there's a chemical in the drink that is bad for people to drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't, was that based on anything you think? Or is this just, see that's what I'm thinking. I think Pepsi starts this. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I know when I see these commercials come out, I don't even be looking at everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you a little piece of that. It's very, uh, this is not a clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh Henry, oh Henry. Oh Henry. And that's the song? Uh, there's, I don't know about that song. You never heard that song?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I just got from the dollar general, Dr. Pepper zero blue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Never seen it before. It's a blue Dr. Pepper Zero. Wow. I think it's like Jurassic park something, but man, it's, it's a wild ride. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, it just looks like a regular Dr. Pepper. Oh, so it's like, it tastes like regular Dr. Pepper? It tastes like a regular Dr. Pepper, but a little bit of like a blue, it's called dark berry. It's got a little blueberry taste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good. It's a little bit, uh, thicker, richer than a Diet Dr. Pepper. Oh, okay. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are doing some bold things and I think it's paying off a third of the candy aisle is Reese's stuff now.


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[Assistant] It is crumpled up shit. Yea, but it's not misleading, cause that's how it's depicted on the packaging.


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[Assistant] I don't know if they're M&M brand, but they're... supposed to be.


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[Assistant] Well, they used human liquors. They used just the kids. They just put the kids to work. 144 licks.


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[Assistant] Well that was the whole point, these universities built machines. A licking machine. That were modeled after a human tongue.


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[Assistant] Right, well the machine can probably standardize the lick in a way where it's consistent. Where I don't trust these kids, I mean I bet they're coming in hard, one lick. But that's who's eating it. But that's who's, yea it's four. But that's not the question, the question is how many licks. But how many?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There could be other applications for this technology. That's the point of it. What would the other applications be? I don't know if you need to learn how medicine


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[Assistant] Is affected by... But apparent licks? You know? By licking it? People are licking medicine out here.


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[Assistant] An oreometer, it was called. That's a fun name. Ah, that was, that was terrible. Why aren't you doing that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's a little like wand or a needle with that type, that plastic material and then it just draws it out based on the blueprint you give it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what comes out of the end of it. Yeah, that's the ink essentially. It's that plastic material that will harden.


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[Assistant] Well not wood. Okay. No, it wouldn't be wood. So you can't make this bowl? You can make the shape of this bowl, but it wouldn't be made out of wood, no. Okay.


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[Assistant] Ultimately, they hope you are going to be able to make stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, devices for your heart and stuff. Out of a 3D. You can 3D print those.


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[Assistant] I think it's hot when it's done, when it prints, yea, I think it is hot. Because it's that plastic. You gotta eat it quick.


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[Assistant] Of like, you'd repurpose an old small fridge, the sandwich making machine.


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[Assistant] Where you'd have different types of meat, bread, and then it would just come out at the bottom. You think there's any, I think that's.


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[Assistant] And it would... Like a vending machine. Like a vending machine for a sandwich.


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[Assistant] That's, you're right. He said it was mostly be for busy moms with lots of kids where you need to make them in mass quickly.


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[Assistant] I need to, I need to pump out nine sandwiches in a minute.


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[Assistant] Right. Hmm. How long she be eating sandwich?


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[Assistant] Yeah. But I think a lot of moms are still making their lunches for all their elementary school kids.


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[Assistant] I also think when you're doing something like that, time...


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[Assistant] Your perception of how slowly time is passing changes.


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[Assistant] Where if you want to make people feel there's a wait time at the bank, if you got a lollipop, you're not thinking about how long it's taken.


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[Assistant] It is, it's this green guy, this kind of amorphous blob of a guy and he's, he's loving on these fruit. I don't think I think too much about it.


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[Assistant] What's that dude's name? James Vanderbeek? He was like the man.


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[Assistant] I'd watch it, my dad would watch it when I was younger, but I didn't really get into it until after college.


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[Assistant] Yes, he was watching myth busters once that he saw their, they did an equation wrong. They did the math wrong on something and he wrote in, he wrote into.


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[Assistant] So I'm saying, I don't trust him either. Cause he was watching, he's like, they're not even doing this right. Yeah. Did they respond? No. Oh. Nah.


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[Assistant] I'm saying the way these candy bars are produced, I have a lot, it's a lot easier for me to believe that one melted in a car than there was one missed the chocolate drizzle on the conveyor belt in the factory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's not a keyboard of somebody that you trust.


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[Assistant] It's like an ergonomic keyboard that's split in half where it's kind of raised in the middle with a lot of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably went to Purdue. So let's build a candy melting machine and try to verify this.


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[Assistant] Oh, you got to. On a plane? I started doing that. To strangers? Yeaah, I pulled the gum out and go, you guys want a piece of gum? And if they say no, I feel like they appreciate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think people assume if you offer them gum, they think, oh, is my breath bad? It's like, no, I'm just trying to be...


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[Assistant] A lot of the times I can make it last until a drink is brought out and then that usually comes with a napkin.


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[Assistant] Oh, I'm going to Tampa, Florida, Phoenix, Arizona, Dania beach, Florida. I've never been in that part of Florida before, so I'm excited. And then I'm doing the Arlington draft house in Arlington, Virginia, outside of DC, August 12th and 13th. That's a great place. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Alright. She didn't want to put that out in public.


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[Assistant] He just carries it around in his pocket. Yeaah. That's all he does. You wanna touch this one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Managing money can be hard and juggling subscriptions even harder. Never pay for an unwanted subscription again with TrueBill. Go to TrueBill.com slash Nate. It could save you thousands a year. And finally, need to hire?


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[Assistant] You know what you need? Indeed. Sign up for Indeed now and get a $75 credit toward your first sponsored job plus earn up to $500 extra in sponsored job credits with Indeed's virtual interviews. Visit indeed.com slash Nate to learn more. Claim your credits at indeed.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Open Dyslexic Fund. It's designed in a way to help people with dyslexia differentiate between certain characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I look like a raccoon has hands. I wonder if it favors one over the other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, primates, all animals seem to favor one hand over the other. That's pretty cool. And righties outnumber lefties in the animal world as well.


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[Assistant] Just to be, so one at nine is more than one in ten. We're taking over. They're saying they're getting, there's more of them. Better, we're increasing in strength.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people didn't. Well, you gotta find a good compromise. I think people want to see you reading them.


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[Assistant] I went to Dollar General yesterday and they were like, do you want to round up to help kids learn how to read?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when you get a notification that the driver is deaf or hard of hearing.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I've ever, you ever seen that? I get it occasionally. It says the driver's deaf or hard to hear and just heads up. He's probably not going to talk to you. I get that. And you're like, incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How often did you leave a bad review of the passenger?


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[Assistant] Did that happen very often? Cause I just checked it. I checked this weekend. I have perfect five star rating on Uber and Lyft. Pretty proud of that. I don't know how common that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or Pittsburgh or somewhere during COVID where it was, everything was very strict and a guy picked me up at a, at a pickup truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was only one, it was a two seater pickup truck. So it's just me and him with a mask on and I go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's how every uber worked. You kind of like, can we take the mask off or whatever? And I go, can I take the mask off? And he goes, no, they're watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Truebill, Nate Land's brought to you by Truebill. From forgotten free trials to automatic renewals, big companies, they are the scum of the earth. They will keep charging you until your account gets canceled.


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[Assistant] True Bill is your secret weapon to help you save money on subscriptions. On average, when people sign up for True Bill, they save up to $720 a year. I signed up for some crossword game, like three years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paid for it, forgot about it, hooked it up my account up to Truebill. Truebill said, you still want to play this game? I said, no, they canceled it for me. Look at that. How much was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was $3.99 a month. For three years? For so yeaah. You know, you sign up and go, I'll cancel this next week. Totally forget about it. True Bill nips it in the bud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you go into subscription overload during COVID? A lot of people did. You sign up for all these different services. They will keep track of it and they can cancel it for you. So take back control of your subscriptions with TrueBill.


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[Assistant] Start canceling today at Truebill.com slash Nate. Go right now. Truebill.com slash Nate. It could save you thousands a year. Truebill.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And finally, oh, it's our old friend. Indeed. It's where we hired Dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast will be nothing without me, nothing without Brian. When you're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're simply the right team, you need, uh, you need all the help you can get. You need Indeed. Here's why. It's the hiring platform where you can attract, interview and hire all the one place. It's a one stop shop. Don't jump around from all these different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, instead of spending hours on multiple sites, uh, they can do it all right there. You can do interviews, virtual interviews right through indeed.com.


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[Assistant] With Instant Match, over 80% of employers get quality candidates whose resume on Indeed matches their job subscription the moment they sponsor a job.


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[Assistant] According to Indeed Data US.


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[Assistant] Uh, sign up for Indeed now and get a $75 credit to order your first sponsored job.


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[Assistant] Plus, earn up to $500 extra in sponsored job credits with Indeed's virtual interviews. Visit Indeed.com slash Nate to learn more. Claim your credits at Indeed.com slash Nate. Indeed.com slash Nate. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? You need Indeed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I've done this since I started comedy. This is kind of embarrassing, but it's relevant to what we're talking about. I actually keep every hotel key.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but there is kind of a general progression through time.


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[Assistant] Uh, there's probably a couple 2017s in there. I started in the summer of 2015. Well, that's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is insane. I totally, but, but I don't regret doing this cause it's very fun now to flip through and be like, I'd forgotten about some of those weekends. I got the first time I worked with Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I actually love it. It's, it's, uh, it's upsetting for my collection, but I have the Hilton app now where I just check in on the app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I can just go straight to my room. I don't even have to go to the front desk. Oh, I didn't know about that. You've not shared that info with me. Oh yea, check in, get the room on the app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty cool. It's, it's, it's four out of five times it works, no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time you open the app, it'll detect whether you're close to a door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're outside, it'll be like, you're near the hotel entrance. Press a button and then it'll unlock. And then it'll detect that you're near your room. It'll say, wanna unlock your room. I don't like that. You don't like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was not a good, I mean, I won't say the exact one, but it was a, uh, super eight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That same super eight where my, it was Caleb Elliott.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that same hotel, I stayed at that same hotel, uh, during COVID, they had, they gave me one, there was one towel in the room. And I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Went down and I said, can I get another towel? And they go, don't, we gave you one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see a robe. I could see a robe. You know, you might, you're better way to do it is just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I tell you, if I could change two things about hotels, it would be one, just put the shampoo and the conditioner in the shower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just have it, and the other thing, and this is a change of the subject for a little bit, I don't understand why we have to make the bed, you have to tuck it in so tight. I understand it looks nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I've about sprained an ankle trying to kick my feet up packed in the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Stab him or something. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you just throw the mattress out. You just start over. You're just worried about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, you know, they're all in my clothes now. They're in the carpet and you can't see them. They get foggers. I think you just fog the house. You can fog, you can fog the house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, bedbug bikes, bedbug bites.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was tough to say. They only show up on a certain number of people. Like some people, he could be getting lit up every night and never know it because the skin doesn't react.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our friend, Bonnie Mitchell has a great joke when he's at a hotel, he turns the shower up hot as it can go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think Americans are getting fatter, that's probably not helping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's a ride, yea. Yea, they're not beating it up. They're enjoying it. They're enjoying it. That people love Escalator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wild. Some people. It happens that you don't. You know, they just kinda live like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Will you ever use a toilet that's a different color than white? I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to hang out with her, but it's just an older woman with a bunch of Ohio state football merchandise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Here in town? Like in Nashville?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And put it, put it in the bag. But I, I, I need to feel it. I don't. Yeah. I need to feel it too. I always said this that I think I can, you hand me any remote. I kind of just know where everything is on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's pretty minimal work to really feel like you're- Oh, I did chores all day, but I didn't really do-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I could just see you live in life and you not know as well, I'd look, I'd check it out. Just see how he walks around the kitchen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I'm using it for my wife, like the day before, and they won't let you change. I listen to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm out with Bert Kreischer this weekend. Fully loaded tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I opened for Dusty at South Bed, Indiana and there's this, this guy in the front with tattoos all over his face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I asked the crowd, does anybody have a nickname? Cause that's the kind of material I was doing back, back then. And this guy said, my name's Concrete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, I don't want to know anymore. And then he cornered me and Dusty and talked to us for about an hour after the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got up and left during Dusty's set. Dusty was like, concrete!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate sitting here with, uh, uh, Brian Baker and Weber Dusty Slick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We tried, that was the, that was the new hello folks and y'all say, Hey bear. I was into it. We didn't say it at the same time, but yeah, it'll get better. I think it's gotta be the response, you know, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I still think let's go folks, still. People still say it. I think it's still fun when to say. Hey bear is just, it is the, you say hello folks, someone says hey bear back, like that's so awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Hey, well they, they're, they're get on board once they get there. Let's go folks. Still good though. People, people say like when I walk out, that's what they're usually appropriate time to yell. Yeah. People do. You just kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yell it when you walk out. Let's go folks. Hey Bear. Hello folks. Everybody, you know, identifies whatever, whichever slogan you want. We have Hey Bear shirt. Kevin best man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's, you know, it's, that's the, it's hard. People, it's, you know, you realize, I always try to think of when someone doesn't know, you know, they'll be like, when are you coming to this town? And then you're like, I'm here, you know, now, which happens a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, or they don't know that you're on a pod. They don't know what show it, you know. And then I think about, I'll try to be like, all right, well I'll think of a music person. I'm like, yeah, I don't know. I could walk up to Stevie Wonder and, you know, I'm like, why don't you go on, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fallon. And he's like, what? He's like, I was on Johnny Carson's first show. And you're like, oh. Well, I didn't see it. So, you know, and then I'm like, I would do the same thing. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Alright. Alright. Uh, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know. We'll start off with you guys' comments. Uh, again, they're all Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, reviews, Face, Facebook, right? Yeah, we'll get some Facebook. We'll get some Facebook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Peggy Karp, this is a terrific episode. The discussion on the Terry Swift class widened to a great discussion on genuine creativity versus imitations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate's comments were as usual right on, as were Dusty's. You guys are a breath of fresh air. Thanks to all of you for brightening my week. You are a good company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thomas Gray, I think I laughed harder than any other moment in this show hearing about Bromine being worried about getting surprise branded in the Q-Dogs. I almost crashed my lawnmower. Thanks for the great show, keep up the good works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good work, boys. Keep up the good work, boys. How did I just forget boys? You got tired. I got tired. Keep up the good works. You guys get it. He was saying boys also.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Maverick Pitchford. I have waited for this day for so long. I thought when my comment was finally read on the podcast, it would be a joyous occasion, but boy was I wrong. My last name is Pitchford, not Pitchfork.


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[Assistant] Don't worry Nate, I don't blame you, I blame Brittle Bates.


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[Assistant] Pitchfork. Pitchfork is a tough name. Yea, Maverick Pitchfork.


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[Assistant] Pitchford. Pitchford. Maverick Pitchford. No, it's Pitchford. It's Pitchford. Pitchford. Maverick Pitchford. You're probably right, Pitchford.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Tanner Baldridge. Nate, when he hears about a class analyzing lyrics to Taylor Swift's songs, I could pass that in a heartbeat. Also, Nate, five minutes later, when I listen to music, I don't hear the words.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't, yeah. I think, I mean, a song does not even remotely...


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[Assistant] Abigail was telling me about, uh, Lumineers, like, in their albums, and I like the Lumineers, like, it's the whole album's like a story, and I'm like, what?


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[Assistant] Yeah. It's, I don't, I wouldn't know what it's all about.


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[Assistant] It meant to me, yes, that song meant something to me because I would listen to it as I, as I handed out flyers because they reminded me of Tennessee, but it was, but I don't know. I didn't like, I don't, I just, I don't digest music, I guess the way people do.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean I would never, yeaah. I mean I feel bad because I think these songwriters are...


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[Assistant] Like there's, there's, there's a story, there's like something there. They're putting their soul into it. They're putting their soul into it and I'm just, you know, like beep bop, beep bop, bop bop, you know, I just like, and none of it means anything.


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[Assistant] And I'll even listen to, like I'll listen to, uh, Led Zev, like I started listening to like some, like, and I like that stuff, but it's still like, I'm not doing it for the right reasons. It's not like.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, I don't, you know, listen to that on my birthday.


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[Assistant] Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way. There were voices down the corridor. I thought I heard them say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's a guy named Brian Bates who- You're like, John, do you have someone get murdered in your family? Yeah. From what? From that song? Alright. Uh, Tanner Baldr- No. Just did that. Brianna Shock.


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[Assistant] I actually took an Adam Sandler class in college like a regular college. Kent State in a regular major. Oh wait. I actually took an Adam Sandler class in college like at a regular college. She went to Kent State.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in a regular major, communication, accounting towards my degree. Every day we watched Adam Sandler video and learned about his comedic techniques. Best part of the class is Adam Sandler sent in a video to our class just for us. He said, hope this class is an easy A. I got a B, but it was a cool experience. There you go. That's awesome. That's fun.


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[Assistant] Yeah. See, I have no depth to anything, even movies. Like there's no, I even try to go like, all right, Nate, think about like, what does this person do? You know, and I have, there's no, it's like, I just,


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[Assistant] Like I laugh at the parts that I laugh at. I enjoy watching it. What did I, you know, and then other than that, you're like, I can't. I don't follow along.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are the TVs about? Yeah, why does he keep doing that?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I like the idea of you when you learn it, you go, huh, you're watching water boy. You're like, huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is the purple, I mean I know Phil, I know Ray and Phil, but like, uh, and Patricia. So like, I'm not gonna gotcha all the, I woulda texted them all together. Hey guys, what was the deal with the purple?


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[Assistant] Cause I would have probably, if you didn't figure it out, I would have just been like, I don't know, let's find out. And then it would have just been, he'd be like, what are you talking about? Like, I don't know.


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[Assistant] Uh, Ben Hawbrech. Hawbrech. The government can cancel debt because they own the debt. The debt is federal student loans. Medical debt is not. There are no federal medical loans. The credit card companies would have to cancel those debts.


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[Assistant] Makes sense. Makes sense. Apt analysis. Yea, yea. It makes sense.


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[Assistant] Yeah. All right. Let's get after it. David brothers. I went from having no high school degree in my early thirties to two master degrees at the age of 40. I can say the degrees paid off big time in both my personal and professional life. Everyone has their own experience, but I can say it was totally worth it for me. Very true. Yeah. Don't. Yeah. Go do your thing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, don't listen to this. If anybody's young, could probably go to college. Do whatever. Yeah, I mean, if you're like, you're sitting around trying to make a choice. If you're old, like David.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bates used to drop off at school. The brothers family. Renee Mathis, Dusty's right. School kids take the SAT, but it's not the college admission scholastic aptitude test. It's the Stanford achievement test. Yeah, you can see how that could be confusing.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna take the SAT. And if you say, I'm gonna, I gotta go take the SAT. They go, how about you not worry about it? That's how they.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, how do you say it? Scholastic. Scholastic. Yeah, you gotta do the whole thing. I wouldn't be laughing. That's how you really get, get up. Scholastic aptitude. If they just said, what does aptitude mean? I'd go, I don't, and they'd be like, all right, next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Book Fair was super fun. I went to Harper's Book Fair. They're still going? Yeah, they're still doing them. I mean, I think it was, I want to say kindergarten, and I went in and I was like, this is, I love the Book Fair. Book Fair is fun. Book Fair is fun, and so I went in there and did it with her, and I was like, I can't, I can't, you know, I want to get everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You took the ball, the book the wrong way. You walked in and you're like, huh.


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[Assistant] How come you can always see me when your head's not looking at me? Really opened up some- Teachers in Alien. Yeaah. Yeaah. What is that book about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think so. That's what Dusty thought it was about. He never read it. They were opening up our minds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of JFK stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. My teacher fried. Okay. I don't think I, I think I'm over it. Uh, William underscore a underscore Galina Galina underscores become a big thing. Like kids like underscore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they, when they create their... Like more now than, than before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has been on keyboards for years. I know, but kids want to be, their thing wants to be unders, they want underscore in their new handles. I think, I think younger kids like it. Okay. They're like, no, we need underscore. It's like cool to have underscore. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably it, but they've made it. It's, I think kids like it, like, it's like, no, no, I want, and then Harper had something where she was like, underscore's gotta be in it. And I was like, oh, I don't even know where that's at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like hangman, you would be like, it's F L blank blank. Right. Cause you would say blank like that. Not underscore. Yeah. Yeah. But it would be blank if you're writing in, I guess.


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[Assistant] I heard a rumor in high school that if you rubbed chapstick on a Scantron sheet, it would mess up the machine. They put it in and it would give you a good grade. Am I the only one that heard this?


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[Assistant] Who's looking this stuff up at Snopes? And they go, don't worry about who's looking this stuff up at Snopes. Is Snopes fake?


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[Assistant] Yeaah, Snoop Psycho let that happen.


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[Assistant] Yeah. That is impressive. Congrats. That is, you know, it's hard work. Hard work's hard work. Uh, Marquis Gwinn, Quinn, I took the A, A act. I took the ACT.


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[Assistant] I took the ACD my senior year, and the morning I took it, I woke up with a nasty cold. I took what I thought was some Dayquel.


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[Assistant] I remember starting the test but was then woken up by the teacher to find an empty classroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but I'm sure someone, they tell you, you fell asleep here, go take it. And I'm sure you're wondering, well, what, I mean, what am I going to, maybe I'll get a 40. Yeah. Oh yeah. Above the, you know.