[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You put your wife in the car next to you and the kids, you pop them in the little pegs in the seats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I've ever played life. Uh, Payday I actually got years ago. I, cause I used to enjoy playing that, um, I think with my mom a lot. And, uh, it didn't hold up for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, no, let's do Dungeons and Dragons. I'm like, no, I wanna play Pay Day. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why that made me think of this story. It's like not really related, but back when you were kids and you got your friends in town and getting together to play, we had this, uh, one of our friends, Maeve,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He'd just like not want to play that day and we're just like need one more person to play baseball, like to have, you know, even teams and shit. And sometimes he'd just kind of be like, ah, and he'd make up excuses. And my favorite excuse he ever made was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His, he had to go to the store, the grocery store with his mom, right? And we're like, why didn't, why? Why do you have to, why? And he's like, well, she's getting fruit roll-ups today. And we're like, okay. Then she can get fruit roll-ups. And he's like, but yeah, but what if they have a new flavor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guarantee we gave him shit about that for three years after, I guarantee it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell you what, to go back to Monopoly real quick, I had this Spongebob version of Monopoly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so there's a pro tip for any of you who want a quicker monopoly version. Just pull out a quarter and move it in one space around the board. Every turn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, What's-his-face-now's funny. He's a funny dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Depends on the kind of yellow, I suppose. I don't know. Probably would depend on the car as well. Yeaah. Some cars are yellow car, you're like damn that looks good. And then, I don't know. Some colors work on different cars, don't they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I grew up in such a whitewashed little town west of Minneapolis. I remember when we heard about the first black family moving there, we were all excited. All me and my friends were like, everybody got pitchforks and just for the no, no, go ahead and leave. What did you say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I mean, just such a dinky town, we didn't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' Farmville, you know what I mean? That's not the name of the town, but I'm surrounded by dairy. It wasn't a very diverse neighborhood. And I grew up in Cleveland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is one thing I was thankful for, uh, joining the Marine Corps, is like, it got me out of, uh, it got me out of a small town. It just introduced me to fucking the world or, you know, people. Like, just, yeaah. It was a really good thing for me that way. I appreciated, uh, the military for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It goes to show how important it is to get out of your bubble. Yes. Your small mindset bubble that just kinda happens where you grow up, like everyone's in their bubbles, their little tribal bubbles, like, it's really important to get out of those. It is. Meet the world, see the world, meet people, all different kinds. You just fucking meet them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like we're almost at a point where you don't have to work as much. Am I wrong in saying that, uh, Apsro?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like every time we say, like, why don't they just, and if the developers are listening, why, you fucking shut up, you shut up, you've never made a game before, you have no idea what you're talking about, and we're like, ah, it's easy, you just do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, uh, it's like when people, uh, ask for Duralys. Why, why isn't, you know, why isn't there more Duralys from when we were doing them? And they're like, we need more like now. And it's like, well these take a while to make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeaah, I can, I can talk about it, like, go for it. So basically, the contraption that you get into looks like a stand-up tanning bed, but your head's sticking out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And basically they just pump, uh, cold, like probably with nitrogen I'm guessing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, into it to force your body to go into like a fight or flight, um, situation. And all like, yeah, it just, everything goes to your core.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, if I, I work out, I work out pretty consistently, but I get sore. So that's a way that, that I'll, I'll go and do recovery because, um, what it'll actually do is it can numb pain or again, reduce inflammation. So you can, you can help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every cell in you up. So I'm just looking at a thing right here. The other, some of the other things that it can do, reduce migraine symptoms, help treat mood disorders, reduces arthritic pain, may help treat low risk tumors. Let's not read the maze. Let's not read the maze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May help prevent dementia and Alzheimer's. Treats atopic dermatitis and other skin conditions, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a couple things that we could do here to do some sort of thing where, you know, maybe we feature on a podcast where we, each of us do cryotherapy or something or a couple of us. And the other thing, we have some fans in town. I just saw the one guy, Adam, and his wife has a waxing place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, he told me, I was like, I was like, yeah, she, or he was like, she's staying busy, she's really busy. I was like, well, do you, do you get wax? And he goes, uh, his nostrils and it's a, it's a game changer. He does the nostrils. That makes my eyes water just thinking about it. But why? So he says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's funny how he said it was a game changer, like he says it, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. And then have good audio down there. You gotta hear it good. Selfie. But you can't film inside the studio. I was like, we'll just make a, we'll put up a tent and we do a drive through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You do the drive through nose thing or drive through ball waxing, whatever you want. Or it's a podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, normally around this point in the conversation, Neebs has some crazy thing that he's gonna suggest. So Neebs, go! What is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have one in a past life when I was a woman. Oh wow, wow. You guys are such men. That's incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's my problem is the nail thing, the stuff with your nails that they do down there, and then if they're, if they're, they're doing the cheese grater on your feet to get the, the roughage off. Yeah, proper maintenance, sure. No, I earned that. Oh, you've got that much. In case I need to go on, yeah, if I, if I go on hot sand, it doesn't bother me because I've earned the calluses on my feet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny how Meebs thinks that being tall is an accomplishment. Like you did something, you earned it. I never wanted to be tall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I do this, then Neebs has to do cryotherapy whilst playing the pocket saxophone. Oh god. You know why? I can do that, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want a sample? Yeah, yeah, it was a sample. But you gotta be cold!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey folks, welcome to the podcast. Today's topic is, what, cyber-tech? Yea, hacking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, eebs. Yeaah, then I get a text. Because we've been hacked before. And now we're ready. So yeaah. I get a text like, hey, are you trying to change your password? You know, from Google.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hell no! So, uh, so yea, they Google, uh, you know, barriers they have in place are working. It's gotta be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like Ren and Stimpy when they're not supposed to push that button.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit. So we're even now motherfuckers. Now let's tell them. Let me say this though, cause you, if you're out there and your stuff isn't protected, I suggest you do it. Yeah, two step verification. Two step.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it'd be fun to see it from the other, like, we don't know what English speaking people sound like in other languages. Right. It'd be fun to see what kind of dumb things we write when we're trying to sell our American toys to the Chinese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it'd be fun, uh, for like, did you ever do Dirty Santa? We've probably talked about this. Oh yeah, yeah. I'm gonna keep that. I'm gonna keep this one. Yeah, you get that and you decide if you wanna keep it or... Yeah. Are you gonna give up a turn to steal it from somebody? Listen, I would want that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a screen that came up. You gotta read it in a heroic voice. Oh yea. Conglaturation! I mean Asian voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be fun if you were, you know, politicians always have like speech writers. If, you know, just to mess with somebody say, well, we're going to give you an Asian speech writer who's only got about five years of English. Yeah, he's getting there. He's a nice guy. Really. We like him a lot, but he's only been, he's only been doing this for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck not, exactly. At least in the song, are we going to have some, some dialogue?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] $24, should I, should I order five of them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now listen, I don't know if anyone else has been in band, but spit valve is probably up there with one of the worst smells on the planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, I remember faking playing probably 50% of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You drink, well electronic, yeaah. I'm kidding, but I mean you could. But you didn't have that when you were a kid, you didn't have like, they got nice, nice digital drums now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does anyone here play the harp, Joel? Jaw harp? It's a jaw harp. Is that? Well, you can tell I don't play. What is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't want anything that vibrates my teeth. Now y'all shot this down earlier, but let me pitch it again. We got a band, one guy's pocket saxophone, next guy's theremin, next guy's jaw harp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want that too. I like them both. I'd like my argument to be they're both good ideas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, we could just do, like, speed photography of plants blooming. People like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you need to take a break, Simon, we'll wait for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the first time I heard that song, we were coming back from a camping trip. Yeah, we were on the way to, um, Jordan Lake? No, not Jordan Lake. I think we were going from, uh, now that you messed up the lake, I can't think of the lake. What is that lake? Damn it. With the skiing and the high dive and the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tucker Lake. Tucker Lake. Tucker Lake. Tucker Lake. Maybe. Lehman. Alright. Yeah. Lehman doesn't have all the toys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, to our surprise, years later, it shows up in GTA V.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if you, if you ever watched any other, like, Mexican music videos? Mmm, I mean, sure I have. They're fun. Like, they'll be like, look, we're just at the barn today, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Pedro's gonna bring his funny boots, and so-and-so's just gonna be throwing a knife against the wall or something. And everyone's drinking. Just show up, drink, party, have fun, and we're just gonna film it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that's, that's our video. It looks like it's the kind of music video I want to be on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's more about the party, less about the shot schedule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm just going to be, I'm not going to be directing this thing, I'm just going to be there. Yeah, you want to just hang out. Yeah. Okay. Let somebody else worry about that. I'm going to learn to throw this knife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna drink tequila. And throw knives. It's not much different than that ax tossing bar we got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw, I was flipping through Facebook yesterday and I saw, speaking of prisons, uhm, there was a picture, first I stopped because I thought the design of this room looked nice. I said wow, this looks cool, I like this, this is clean, I like the color patterns they got, the windows. Like, is it a cell? It's a prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, yeah, it's a sale in some Scandinavian country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they showed like the room where everybody eats, it looked like a fun like, you know, community to live in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm thinking, yeah, like, wouldn't that be cool if our prisons were that way? And like, you know, if most people in prison, it wasn't that serious, you know, like, everybody is pretty peaceful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You took a man's Cubano, you're gonna go to jail. That's gonna be nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes it looks like they're just experiment with drawing. They're like, let's just see if I can make a bunch of colors blend into something and turn into a flower and then turn into a teardrop and then be a puddle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I saw a little, I didn't click on it yet, but it was like, new season. Ooh. And then it was a thumbnail. And then end? No!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Space show. Space. Space and Earth. Future. It's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, season two, there was one or two episodes that were kind of mediocre, but a bunch that were good, good episodes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you see those villains that seem to have a weird personality, but they're scary. But you're friendly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just put them up. Can we put them up? They're in there somewhere. No one's gonna say anything. Let's just take them. We try?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking about friendly villains, like, uhm, I don't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like a sad show now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that role, that role of that villain is just, it's, well I wouldn't say he's a better actor, I'd just say it's a funnier role.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I love them both. But yeah, check out Barry. Gets boring in the middle a little bit. But it's pretty great. That's a lot of shots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm still watching it. There's a lot of moments that really just make me laugh out loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, my octopus teacher, you couldn't forgive that boring, could you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't do anything. Well, I've got a lot of parents. What? And then the parents have family. So you have. He's got like 15 parents, guys. You do. He's so kind. Well, if you have like step parents, and then their parents have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm pretty sure if Jesus was here today, he'd want chicken piccata.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's to a less sucky 2021. Cheers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A thousand other series. They had to add more? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And to tell you the truth, that wasn't, we were talking about, do we want to do it? Wasn't really excited at first until we talked about it some more. And then I was just playing before we started recording, and I didn't want to stop. I was like, nah, just do it without me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was looking through the menus, there's a lot of different, new stuff, new hats. I think hats is what we were all waiting on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I know I appreciated it. I'm sure Dralies does too, when you don't have a good angle. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're playing to have fun, but you're also trying to be a cameraman and show off what's going on. It could be just looking at the ground the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like if you're riding in the car and you're in your menus and you're, uh, AFK, just with your menus on and a robot attacks and I could have seen it from your angle. Had you been looking, that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, and our first season we did was kind of the same as Scrap. We all had to kind of be looking at each other and telling the story that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if we gotta do it again, we gotta do it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another game we were looking at after it was brought up a few times. Someday if it's ready, Breath's Edge. Breath Edge, yea. Oh yea, yea. Breath Edge. Just one breath?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is Thick Shopping from MULT right now? No. I don't know what he's doing. No, I'm talking to you. What are you doing, Simon? Are you attacking something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get one of those guys at Sketch Artist. What'd the joke look like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does anybody else, when you're watching the news and they interview, some people are home when they get interviewed. They're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laptop cam, I gotta do an interview with a national news source and you're like looking at their room and you're like, okay, I bet they staged that a little bit. They're like, okay, these are the books I read, I wrote this one, I'm gonna put this one up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's a length you get past that doesn't tickle. It's kind of like when your beard grows, it itches for a while. Once you pass that threshold though. So you two are going to just let them go? Just let it grow. Fingernails, all of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey! They were little hairy Houdinis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this the guy, I didn't, I don't follow golf, but I heard there was some guy in town who's just sweeping, sweeping all the wins lately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, kinda, Neibs, you're sexier. Dustin Johnson. Neibs is a better looking man. Yeah. Dustin Johnson is, uh, Budget Neibs. Budget Neibs!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One club per par, that works out. Anyways, yeah, uh, maybe we'll scream it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe they got strings like blinds have, and you can pull it and they go down to your ankles, and you pull it and go back up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I got something to talk about. You were talking about how good he must feel. For some reason, the other day, I was thinking about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know when you're in front of an audience and they're all just cheering? You know that feeling? Because we've had that a little bit because our channel and we've got a great community here. But we've had that before, anyone even cared who we were, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once, uh, Simon, were you there? I know Duralis was there when we did, uh, we had like a little make-believe premiere for a little dumb movie we made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we rented, were you there? What was the movie? It was something, it was that thing that, uh, Cheeseburger made. I wasn't there for that. Okay. But I know what you're talking about. We rented a limousine, cause we thought, let's just, let's just throw a dumb party. We rented a limousine and parked it out in front of our little clubhouse studio we had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we've got a red carpet. And then we all took turns getting out of it while everybody else there clapped and took pictures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might have been, but how great did that feel, just getting out of the car, even though it's just your friends there, and they're all like, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But as soon as I came out of the limo, I got in the audience and it was somebody else's turn to get in one side of the limousine and come out the other side, get a picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you, when you picture the space we had, and we all chipped in to rent this warehouse, but it was, it was dumpy. You could just imagine someone coming from the set of a Hollywood, you know, television production.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey but listen, a limousine and a red carpet goes a long way. And the velvet ropes. Don't forget those. You need them. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't the expensive limo either, it was the cheapest one in town. They had the fiber optic lamp from the 60s, 70s inside there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you say, here's my hamsters? I have a couple of hamsters at home. Only my fans can see the hamsters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like the light's at the end of the tunnel now, and people can't just hold off for a couple months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like if the vaccine, we got two vaccines that are 92.5 and 95% effective, they're gonna start rolling them out in December, maybe in the next four or five months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But why not just give it a couple more months, be careful for a couple more months, and just, we're so close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we're all, the things you actually see, you know, I know probably three or four people who have, like people that I know, their parents have died or friends of a friends have died. It's around us. We are hearing it and seeing it firsthand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The hospitals that are, you know, bringing in, like, trailers to put bodies in. That's scary, I think. Super scary. But, uh, a lot of people- Thankfully that's not happening here. Yea, a lot of people, uhm- It is happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aren't affected too bad by it, and that's great. You said there were like three nurses at the hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And fatter. Like if you, if you showed up at Thanksgiving...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you show up at Thanksgiving just wearing a long t-shirt. No pants? Like that makes people, no pants, yea, just, but the shirt's long enough to cover everything. Like a pajama shirt or something? No, just a t-shirt that's a couple sizes too big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, did we ever talk about this on our podcast? Uhm, remember, Dralis, when you, you and Afro's mom started Facebooking a lot? Uh, well, I mean, that was, that's been a while, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I remember Drows is like, man, Astro's mom keeps like commenting on my, my post on Facebook. Oh, listen, remind me of his story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's hilarious. I love when you wave at somebody you don't know. You think you know them. You're in it at that point, like you know you've committed. You can either just go, yep, just keep waving and let them figure it out, or you can go, oh wait, sorry, thought you were somebody else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're always nice. Dralia's taught me a new way to wave at people a long time ago. Uhm, you basically take your hand and you throw it way over your shoulder to where you pat yourself on the back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you throw the hand straight up in the air and your head straight down to your chest. And you just hold it there. You don't even get- My brother created that. Oh, is that your brother? It was a great wave. You don't even get to know if the person you're waving at saw it because you're looking straight down. That's how a lead singer ends a show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I thought for sure I saw Duralius one day and I gave him the best Duralius wave I could and I looked up at the end thinking yeaah, he probably enjoyed that. Wasn't him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do that. You get two phrases in your brain and you try to say them both at the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well Adahop put a clip from our Minecraft video up on Reddit, uh, the Minecraft subreddit in particular, and it did very well, got lots of likes and all that stuff, but the title of that particular, when he put it up there was like, it was something like 40 year old men who try to play, don't know what they're doing, hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, I have the title verbatim right here. It's, when you're in your forties, you have no idea how to play Minecraft, and you're trapped in a pillager outpost by a zillion pillagers, but you have TNT. And so PewDiePie is watching the video, and obviously it's well edited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks to Adahop. Right. And so the whole, when you're in your forties and have no idea how to play Minecraft, it's like, obviously he knows how to play Minecraft, he's editing videos, he, PewDiePie doesn't know us, he doesn't look, he doesn't know that we're a group of like seven people that edit our stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. He doesn't have time for that. Well, I mean, that's the thing. That's his, his video, which just makes me think we're doing it all wrong. He literally just gets on Reddit and browses and just turns on a cam and records himself. Probably does this for, I don't know, two, three hours, just browsing the internet, trying to find fun stuff and then edits it down to a 10 minute video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, you know. There's ten minutes in here. I browsed Reddit for four hours. Right, you got ten minutes. Ten minutes in here. Yeah, go ahead. Find it. Like, when you find something, shake the camera, zoom in on me, add a sound effect. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that sounds fun. Start a whole channel just reading newspapers. Yeah. Yeah, newspapers aren't getting their love anymore. They're not. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We already have an issue with that. But, I think newspapers, I mean, they're already doing it, they have to evolve. They have to be a website now. And, you know, they have to be available on tablets. But you can't have, you look, I still think local news is important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you still want, yeah, I mean, guy, the news industry is so tough because you still want good reporters, you want good reporting. And it's weird because yeah, when you lie, rely, especially like on local advertisers, you know, if like there's a local business doing something shady, you can't really say anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's the hand that feeds. That's a big problem we have in this country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can't have good independent reporters here in local news anymore. What's the mayor doing? Everything he's doing is great. Oh, I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, that's great. Anywhos. That's fun. Look at us, schmoozing with mayors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, no, he's fine. But yea, he's talking about mic quality. I watched, uhm, I clicked on a video of his not too long ago, it was he and Jacksepticeye and they were playing a VR game. And they were just using the VR mic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which we've done. Which we've done, but yea, I was like, I was surprised because, you know, you think at that level, I know the money he's made, like, his production quality could be sweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, I'm not the guy, I'm not PewDiePie's core audience, for sure. So, but yea, they don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I don't know, like yea, somebody needs to hit up all these fast food companies, I think there's a place to make some money here. A lot of it. Hit up all these fast food companies and be like, I can finally solve your mic situation. We're gonna get good mics so that people on both ends can understand what the fuck each other's saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I've been curious about that, like why do these things still sound like shit? Doesn't make sense. Doesn't, not in 2019.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it's better than it used to be because now at least they have that digital monitor where you can see them punch in your order. Sure. So you can look at it and go, oh no, I said no pickles, you know, put no pickles here on the list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they all put the two windows in thinking this will make things faster and then just said fuck it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, get the jerseys, go all out. You have bad ideas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know, it's like a little, I mean, it's still alcohol, I think there's still like 90 calories per can. Yeah. Whereas like, you know, a Bud Light, I think it was like 110, something like that. I have no idea. It's not far from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like our brains, we consume sugar, our brain goes, yay! More of that. But, uh, we live in an odd period of time where it's in abundance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I demand satisfaction, sir. We demand the slaves be free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was, I watched that movie like last year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Red Dead actually has a part of that in the story mode, where you're kinda playing two sides of, it's basically Hatfields McCoys, it's two rich families down in the south, and you're kinda pitting them against each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. Because it's a lot, well, it comes to PC on the 5th, right? Today is the 29th. Uhm, if Editor comes with it, we're gonna jump right into doing stuff with Editor. Let's have some fun. If not, I still wanna jump in and just goof off with you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When GTA V came out on PC, the editor was already in place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like after the release and after a few online updates, then an update came with the editor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's keep the optimist in butt. If it's not, I still say we all get in and goof off and have fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they know. Rockstar, trust me, they know. Because, like, on their Twitter feed, the last couple of, like, their update for the PC release, one of the biggest upvoted comments was like, so the editor's coming, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll play in that world for sure. Multiplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when we do the podcast, we need five different cameras or five different phones filming us and you're going to collect all those videos. Seems like a lot of work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was listening, sorry, but yeaah, this is cute little Al and the eyes just are not right. And it looks so goofy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, cause Doom's all about running around shooting things. Yeah, why would you like, fall? Yeah, all of a sudden they just stop the game. It's like, you gotta jump over the wall. I'm like, oh god, where do I jump next? Is it up there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Play one of the battle arenas where you're just fighting demons, you're kicking ass, your adrenaline's pumping, and then zzzzzz.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it doesn't bring down the whole game, but it's just the only thing in the game that annoys me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there was a story in the 2016 one. But again, their stories are always just like, nah demons are invading, you gotta kill them all. Okay, that's the gist of it. In this one it's fun because the demons have invaded Earth. I think the first one took place on Mars, 2016. This one...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, okay, I can kind of keep my eye on everybody and manage the rest of them. But when that guy shows up, just everything, he'll corner you into a wall and you'll just get swarmed by the time. Yeah, it sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that's what makes Doom fun for you. It's like when you hit that moment where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just, yea, you find that groove and you're just jumping from demon to demon, you're pulling out the right weapons, you're taking them all down, you're doing the special moves, it's like, it's fantastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there an anime girl? Because that's the thing on Twitch now, right? Yeah, try to find an anime girl. Yeah, we can, we can start live streaming as an anime girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there we go. You're on average. You're not showing enough boob, Neebs. Uh, yeaah. Hmm, nope, I'm trying. Trying to show boob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Supposedly it's a very chill experience and uhm, I did read something about it that I didn't know. Apparently, the game supposedly like lasts a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you start a new game, there are things that happen in that world that like are, that won't happen until like two months later. Because I guess you live in a little village, and then maybe, maybe like month number two, if you just play the game regularly, it's like, oh, a new person moved in, or grandpa died, I don't know. Fuck. Like this world kind of exists. Now I don't wanna play that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you play Animal Crossing, leave a comment explaining why you like the game, because I've never played it, but I'm sure there's something to it, because it has a huge fan base. Oh yeaah. I think it outsold, uhm, what in China? It outsold Pokemon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what? You're still playing the new Call of Duty, right? Yes. Warzone. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm probably the most at risk at home because my lady works at the hospital. And now you're here. And now I'm here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For business. Wide open. Yeah, uhm, I think, uh, I think I read in the news, uhm, Cheesecake Factory basically told all of their, uhm, tenants they're not paying rent. Not until this thing blows over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody across the board is like, alright, and it would have to be that. It would have to be everybody kind of treated equal. But yea, of course, like you have certain lenders that probably need it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a fun morning, I uhm, took my wife to get Lasik surgery. Outta go!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was fun, uh, I got to watch, I got to watch it on the, the, the monitor outside of the room and watch them cut her eye a little slit, fold the flap back and do a thing. I just peed a little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's fine. Um, she's sleepy because she, uh, she popped a, um, what is that? A clonopin? Yeah. Something she, she wanted something to help her relax and it relaxed her, but like as soon as the surgery was, was over and her anxiety came down, she came down with it and she was just ready to take a nap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was, it was neat, like right before she went in, they showed her, you know, the letters. And it was like, read these two. It's like, oh, E and B and then read this. I can't do it. It was just like OPLD.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right after the surgery, came back. Alright, read this. OPLD. And then it went even down one. Read this one. BBBY, you know, B.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, she was, uh, excited to have it done. And yeah, she said she wanted to cry once, you know, she could read those words. Yeah, because her eyes hurt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it worked out. She was, um, she was actually supposed to go on vacation with a mama. Um, they were supposed to go to the mountains, but obviously this happened. So they canceled the vacation and then she had this appointment scheduled for later in the year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But since she had five days off already for vacation, she called the eye doctor. She's like, listen, this would be perfect timing. I got five days off. Is there any chance you'd get me in? He was like, yeah, let's knock it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Close to a face. Oh, that place, like, we walked in, like, they had rules on the door. Once you walk in, hand sanitize. It's like, you know, don't hand, like, couldn't hand cards to each other. Like, it felt pretty clean. Yeah. Like, no one touched each other, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, absolutely, my wife works at the, uh, she's a nurse, she works at the hospital, and any elective surgery, they've cancelled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, my boobies are gonna have to wait. Yep. Yeah, but it's uh, yeah, I need that elective stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The trailer turned me off. Not saying it's a bad movie, but yea, just that initial trailer was like, what the he-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I just, it seems like a dangerous pet to keep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I started, I started watching a documentary about like internet cats. Uhm, I only made it 30 minutes in cause I got bored. But that first cat they showed was a little bub. You ever seen that cat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well yeah, this was this documentary I started watching kind of featured him. Yeah, I'm sure. But yeah, weird how this guy makes millions of dollars just filming his fucking cat running around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my daughter watches one. It's, I forgot the name of it. It's like, it's just a dash hound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The owner like puts in text, like what the dog is thinking or saying. So the dog's running around. Yeah. It's like, I watch it and I'm like, that's terrible, but my daughter loves it. She's like, oh, it's a new blah, blah, blah video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of, that's one of the ways you could pitch it. But wouldn't that be fun? It would be fun. We'll make more money just filming cats though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Way easier. You know, I will say, I will say this about whatever Dash Hound I was watching. I thought it was filmed well. So that's one of those things where I think a lot of people do think, oh, I can just go out and film it. But you know, it was steady shots. It was in focus. I was like, you know, okay, that, that takes, it was well lit. That takes a little talent. That takes a little bit of what you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think I've gotten used to like the Joe Rogan format where it's like I like that long conversation with even like pauses in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I think they're doing, you know, you know, they do those dumb, like, um, you know, the wrestlers aren't in the ring and they're doing stuff outside of the ring. They're doing stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's, I'm more into that one. Oh no, I'm more into that as well. I mean, that looks great. Yeah. Yeah, that looks gorgeous. It's, it's just, I have a hard time going like, wait, are we just driving through mud and... It would dirt. The four of us helping each other make a delivery and that shit, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I probably have like some sort of things in my bodies that just fight off all sorts of shit. Because I stay dirty for, I actually smell really really bad right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is that thing, what is that thing that Joe Rogan, uh, wasn't it like Alphabrain or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that we heard the sentence, speaking of cocaine, but don't judge me, like out of neves was, that's, that's the best part of, uh, 2020 now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those guys are working for a lower rate than the Marvel folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I lost some shingles, uh, I've got just one like small tree on my fence and it kinda busted a board. But that was about it. And I didn't have power for a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm out playing in the storm. Now, Dralis, I'm confused.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the picture that I saw was your car, and butted up against it was the Tesla Cybertruck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they were in another zip code and you're still way too close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I got something to talk about, just to switch gears. Go ahead and do it, Thick. Get it out. I know, I know. Listen, and I don't know for sure, cause...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people at Jeep are still voting. There's a chance that Jeep is doing the first ever top canine search. And I've entered bear into it. And uh, there's a chance that you can vote for bear. I don't get any money out of it or anything like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm good with that. No, but seriously, if he's chosen, there's a link in the description, please, Simon, put it in there. No, it's your fucking job to vote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when it's not in there, blame Thicke. I know, I know many, many, many people out there may not like me, but I know you like Bear. And Bear's the perfect Jeep dog. So if it's not there, it means he didn't get picked. Right. Which means, uh, Russians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of trailers, after I sent him a weird, weird trailer for some sort of Mexican western called El Topo,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't think you would like it. I just think you should see it. To be like, because what I imagined you saying after that was, what the fuck did I just watch?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I feel like I would have sent it to you and you'd have been like, ah, I haven't watched it yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll share, I'll share it with you. I will share it with you, Neebs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I still love that show. I like Schitt's Creek better. Schitt's Creek, I give a solid nine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it would be on just a hard disk, not a CD. Nobody does CDs anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I have this, uh, idea for a video game, uh, obituary speech writer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the challenge is you never know, you never know the person you're writing about. You just have to get clues from people at the funeral. Okay, now I'm in. Now I'm in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know the entire story. I wasn't really paying attention to the XFL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much is this thing? Yeah. What do you do with the DVDs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the fact that they would even produce it like that is mind boggling. It's like if they offered it on cassette tapes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, there's person like me. There are so many articles about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You saw it last night too. Remember I told you. Oh, I thought you did. The whole movie is on YouTube. It's like two hours long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wait, that reminds me. I'm glad you brought that up, Simon. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think, once I get caught up on this little thing here, I'm going to release some of our music in karaoke form.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what he's good at is finding out what makes people tick. He's a good listener. He has good questions and he's able to, I don't know, communicate in a way that is pretty universal. It's not one way or another.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a hand up. Simon, would you do stand up for an opportunity to be on Joe Rogan's podcast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the reason why I asked about Simon, you doing stand-up, you want to do stand-up, but you have some sort of anxiety about it, right? You don't, yeah, yeah. So I'm just like, Hey, I dare you to do this, but I'll get you on the Joe Rogan show. And I can't, I don't know Joe Rogan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real quick, uh, Neebs, you had an idea for doing a show a while back called Leave It to Ether?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't shut your phone off. Well, I believe in karma because recently I played Minecraft and I got a taste of my own medicine. I played with the worst people alive. Oh, you knew this was coming. Yep. I played with my kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, little one, nine, older one, fourteen. There you go. Alright, they're both girls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So little one, she's like narrating. She's like, like she's on her own YouTube show. She's like, Oh no, there's a creeper over there. I gotta watch out for the creeper. So let me just go over here. Oh, there's a chicken. I love chickens and just narrating everything. I'm like, are you on cocaine? Stop. And then the older one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm getting her tested because she'll talk to a cockroach on the wall. It's insane. But then the older one, she's like trying to be the boss, but then wanders off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Yeah. But the best was when they almost got into like a fight, like, like the older one was getting ready to run upstairs and fight the little one because the little one decorated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her space, the other one's space, she was like, she was like, oh, she's gonna love these blue flowers here all over, you know, her house and whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you- I didn't say you could go in my room! I didn't- I wanna come up there right now! That's my Minecraft room. What does she have a dirt-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All done now. That's it. Alright. It's a game I don't really care for, but I saw an opportunity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I think, I think here's what's, here's what's happening. I, I do enjoy, uh, some of the stuff that's going on in Minecraft and, and I think since there are more threats and, and not just more threats, more things that I don't know about, I'm intrigued. So I want to find ways to enjoy that. I'm trying to find something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I hate watching, I've watched both the episodes that are out right now, those are probably going to be three out by the time this comes out, but I've hated all of them. Really? Hate, hate, hate watching them, but I watch them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I hate it, like, generally I don't like watching gameplay videos of any kind, really. I mean, maybe like, you know, really good players playing like, Battlefield or Apex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but, but in this case, uhm, with like seven days, if there's a moment that, that I can kinda, it's a game that I like, so if there's a moment that I can look back on and I wanna, you know, generally like relive it again and see how it's kinda cut and then I'll go back and watch it, or something recently happened,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're fine with it. You guys refuse to work with each other anymore. You've gotten like so big in the show business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey Thicc, your hands up. I have a great idea. You know what we should do? Go get more eggs? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get a group of them. Yeah. Like you get. Oh, that'll be great. You get like a dozen. A baker's dozen. That is a fun group to find.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know three locations just off the top of my head where there are eggs. Help us with that next time, Thick. So it could be, yea, it could be like Easter egg collecting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what's crazy, like with the drops, we've talked about this, the drops are much better in Valguero, but I have six wind turbines that I've found just in random drops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the only problem. You probably have to take it to somebody to do that. But wait, wait, wait. So is it, is it almost like flair? You like get different pockets all over it? Absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's your solution. You wear socks that are like knee high socks. They're under your pants. When, when, when you get hot, when you're, you roll them down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'll actually wipe it down before and after, and here's why, because I had a friend, I'm not gonna say her name, uhm. Got cooties? Uh, no, she got like, scabies. Like, she, she was convinced that she got it from the gym, from equipment. Eugh. So, that kinda freaked me out, I'm not like a germaphobe or anything, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, Henry Winkler in that is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taking acting classes. I sat down with my wife to watch it and I don't think she got really into it. So I'm getting rid of her. Uh, but you're welcome to come. Anybody's welcome to come over and watch it with me because I'll watch it again. Is she going to be there? Oh God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the pleasant surprises of Dora is the girl who plays Dora also played Alita.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen to me, it is an excuse, but when I pulled up the girl who played Dora on the thing, I saw the transformer and I was like, oh, that's, that's Alita. There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're also a sociopath, so. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Snow planet, city planet, desert planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That caught me by surprise. I finished watching the first one and I was like, that's it. Yeah, I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God of War was fun, yea. Yea. You were a part of it though. I enjoyed, what do you mean? We're saying would you sit down and watch it played through? I, I was in it. I know, that's what I'm saying. Of course. Did that in God of War and I liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You put Simon on the control, it's one video, start to finish, you play it all the way through until you're done. None of this broken up into 12 episodes. Oh yea, no we won't do that. One playthrough. Right. 8 hours long, Simon, start to finish. Silly. You're being just silly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, yeaah, I got called when I was 18.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was excited, cause I didn't have a job at the time, and I was like, this will be cool. We get to go do adult things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They spent a lot of time asking people questions. How you feel about this? What about this? Do you know about this? Hmm, you might be a good jury duty guy. They asked me like one question and said let's, nope. Do you wipe after your poop was the one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I enjoyed Half-Life, I'm like, why is everyone so crazy about it? About what? Half-Life. Half-Life 2? It's a good game, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're just drinking raw egg whites. Pretty much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I liked them, because you know, you know what's got gravity, so you kind of hit it, assuming it's going to suck you towards it. Yeaah. Yeaah, I did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd do it too, but I think we have a schedule to go by. I'd want to play scribble. I like scribble. I'd do golf over the scribble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tell us all about it. Oh yeaah. Why don't we just all go? Make a vlog. Yeaah. Go to Charlotte. Yeaah. You can schedule. Day trip out with Talamans. Day trip with the boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't they make cars? Why don't they make cars like they did in the 50s? Like that was the best looking body designs, right? Cars aren't pretty nowadays. Not really. Cars can be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good ones and bad ones. You got these old, like, uh, 50-something Chevys with the, like, the green and the chrome. Let's make cars like that, but modern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to, go to Havana. Look at all those cool looking cars they got. Wouldn't that be cool if we had that here? But modern?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like my handle just broke on my truck, if I could just get an update. Right. That'd be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's possible. Not your truck. His truck. Yeah. My truck wouldn't care. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I get a letter every year from the state or county, like this is probably a collector's year, you probably should pay like collector taxes on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the thing is, maybe, I don't know, but my truck has got rust on it, it's not a show car. But they're wanting to tax me like it's a show car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't worry where I park it. I don't worry if someone borrows it. I don't care if something, if a grocery cart hits it while I'm in the store. No concerns. Bam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pick and pull. Pick and pull? Yeaah. Is that where- I've gotten parts from there before, yeaah. Gotcha. That's pretty neat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. There's not many things that make me want a new truck. Uh, one of them though, one of them is I don't have a good backseat to take friends with me somewhere. And two is the lights aren't automatic. Cause my buzzer doesn't work anymore for when the lights are left on. So I gotta be careful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you saying to fix that? No, yea, like just, no, just to have a car that- Oh, to have a whole new car. Have a whole new car. Yeah, still a good car. Just cause the light buzzer doesn't work? You should just get it and just have it on the side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just doesn't add up, does it? You're like, I just don't think this would work physically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a shame because it's a fun world. I think I told you, uh, I saw that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That new Chucky movie. Well, it came out what, last year? I don't know. Child's Play? Child's Play, there we go. And I was thoroughly impressed. Cause I went in expecting nothing, I didn't even like the original ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mark Hamill does the voice. They did a nice new twist on it and it was uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like a smart toy. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. And of course it's a glitched out one. So at least they didn't pull in like, the devil. The demonic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, on the spot like that, huh? Spatula.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just mix all these, you know? Ask all these superheroes, how'd that happen to you? Okay, and then after they tell you, you go do that, then you go do this, and you like, collect all the powers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we gonna have a basketball involved at all?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell you what, they really think of, uhm, some out, out there ideas on, uh, his channel, don't they? Oh yeaah, yeaah, that's his old, his old shtick. Saw the other day, 24 hours, they spent 24 hours in the Bermuda Triangle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd watch it. I would too. How about let's get back into some game stuff, even though we didn't start talking about any game stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things like this until we get the Rockstar editor and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These, these will be good if we do any more of these before the editor. This is good just for those of us who haven't played as much as you. Just to practice a little bit. Cause it plays, those games do play so different from any other game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's Red Dead. How about ARK? How about the PvP? Oh yea, we tried PvP.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People can't help it. They're just, there are so many assholes out there, aren't there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we could be digging underground little things and, you know, that'd be a different story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The biggest risk in life is not taking one, and that's why NOLS, the National Outdoor Leadership School, empowers people to get outside where you can find your purpose, leadership style, and go beyond your comfort zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] NOLS believes in the wilderness and experiential learning. Founded in 1965, NOLS is the leader in wilderness education, serving over 350,000 students since it opened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] NOLS offers adventure expeditions, wilderness medicine clinics, and basic wilderness safety courses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Students can choose from 16 campuses around the world where they embark on extended wilderness adventures ranging from one week in duration up to a full year. Instructors teach outdoor skills from backpacking to sea kayaking to rock climbing and mountaineering in the world's most spectacular mountain ranges.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] NOLS is known for its proven leadership curriculum that teaches personal leadership styles, teamwork, and decision making that can easily be applied to everyday life. To get started, take advantage of 20% off your next NOLS expedition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to NOLS.edu slash Neebs. That's NOLS.edu slash Neebs. Offer expires December 31st, 2019. Terms and conditions apply. Find your course today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be fun to, uh, catch red-handed, bust the person that's got a cell phone and, you know, you see the Domino's delivery guy pull up. I was hungry. He's got a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also the, the treat as well. Those snowballs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like eating that shitty cake right now. At track practice, yea, I'd often just run, like certain days the, uh, coach would be like, alright guys, just go out and run, kind of your day, you know, your day. So I'd run to the Dairy Queen, have a block up and get me a blizzard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was Jack. Well I was a long jumper, so yea. I'd go do a couple run-throughs and I'd scratch anyway at the meet. Pink snowballs or white ones? Dairy Queen. Pink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I liked ho-hos as well, swiss cake rolls, chocolate dials, star crunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. Yes. You do. Yeaah. Yeaah. I like comparing. Especially like, uhm, you know, the whole, the Popeyes. Was it Popeyes? Popeyes? Popeyes. You know how you're saying that? Popeyes. Chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their chicken sandwich, their spicy one that just came out that everyone's like, you know, jacking off over. I'd love to review food. Yeah, apparently. It's that sandwich versus the Chick-fil-A. Oh, Chick-fil-A, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a massage on Sunday. At P.F. Chang's. At P.F. Chang's, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really, where'd you go? No, I had a friend come over. She's, uh, we played, what? Tinder date. What's going on? No, no, no, I've known her for a long time. I swiped her. We played a bunch of 7 Days to Die. She brought over a breakfast quiche. Ooh. And I got a full massage. It was, uh... Is she reasonable? I need a massage. Well, it was free for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's wonderful, man. It was, it was really impressive. Like that's a, that is a talent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or it certainly can be, I'd imagine. That's not only my second professional massage I've ever had in my life. You guys? I love massages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just leave. Oh boy. Anyway, it was a pleasure. Mixing it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, first thing, we contact somewhere like Massage Envy and uh, you know, it's publicity for them. Ask them what they think about Brexit. No, we just gotta lock in some free massages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I hope so. God, that'd be great. We played almost 12 hours of 7 days. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope tomorrow is cool too. Not just today, I hope tomorrow is a really good day for you guys out there. Now say goodbye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to ruin it. Okay. Hey, we're switching gears real quick because we got a, we got a email from Ada Hop. I saw that. Wait, wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] RFID blocking, and if you use the code NEEBSGAMING, they charge you double! No!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get a higher CPM out of this. Well, I'd have to explain CPM to the audience, but you can make more money on YouTube by saying these things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he was talking about 3D printing and keywords.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, keywords like extrusion, ABS fulfillment, and whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and I'm going to talk about it because I'm on the Wikipedia page, and not in really conversation, I'm just going to ramble off some keywords.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dorales, I'm gonna get you a subscription to Highlights Magazine, too. Why? Uh, to go with your pop-up books. Oh, so you don't wanna see them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wolverine's bones made out of? I want that. Yea, but make it the shape of your bone used to be. I'd like him to straighten out my legs though, I'm bow-legged. I'd be like, at least 5'11".


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well here's the thing is that most of the time you have a, uh, a sassy black lady working TSA and she's like, ooh, I can't wait to frisk this boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hit the groin button. They love you. They love you. It's just a sassy black lady conspiracy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Between you and I, Doraleous. Well, I just talked a bunch. Okay, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll go. Okay. Alright, this first comment is from our Satisfactory video. Oh yeaah. Yeaah, this is from GmanMovies09. Says, I'm glad that we don't have another prehistoric slash caveman themed game this time. Really looking forward to this series and hopefully the bugs in the game get dealt with sooner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was, I'm, I'm glad that we have something different. I do want to see where it goes because I, yeah, I have no clue, but you do have a clue. Well, I kind of have a clue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I actually have a behind the scenes for you, uhm, from Satisfactory, Duralius. Duralius does our, uh, behind the scenes for our Patreon. If you aren't a patron, you can be. You're missing out on some clothes. You don't, uh, you don't, I mean, honestly, you don't have to. We can have another channel from the final stand, too. Of course they don't have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In any crafting menu, building, crafting bench, workshop, etc. You can add it to a to-do list that displays on the right side of the screen. That's great. Uhm, so what you want to craft and what components you will need and how many.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, also don't worry too much about crashes, they're annoying but relatively uncommon and the game's auto save feature is very unforgiving. You'll rarely lose more than a few minutes of work from a crash, which is very welcome assistance in early access title.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The to-do list. That's gonna be good. That's gonna be helpful for the whole team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you for that comment. Uhm, my next comment is from Kevin's... I don't know how to say that. It's from Kevin! Hey, Kev! And it's from our most recent Conan video, the Trebuchet video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, uh, this was actually at me. It says, veneer armor is better cold weather gear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I know you guys like showing your hair, but you're losing armor and cold resist by not wearing helmets. And each armor has a set bonus for wear all pieces in each slot, i.e. hyena armor gives you plus five survival. But if you only have hyena pieces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look here for what armors have, what resistances. So any, there's a link here, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I can tell you what it also doesn't have is a Simon Sandwich song. That's true. So, yeah, better get cracking on that. But I was thinking about that. We could have some fun with the Simon Sandwich song. Yeah. I have my ideas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sour cream and tomatoes, not just lettuce. I could have dealt with just lettuce. Yea, because who couldn't? Just lettuce, I mean. Just lettuce, yea. Yea, but sour cream. But when you have the sour cream and the tomatoes, which I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, my last comment comes from TooManyLucies. It's on the Conan video as well. It says, You gotta admit, it's so freaking cool every time a new boss is introduced. The editing and music makes it such an incredible intro to an epic battle scene. Love it. Kisses. I do love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was my question about this comment. Should we give Ada Hop any more props? I feel like we talk him up a lot. I feel like we give him enough praise. He gets enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're usually like scraping trash off this rolling computer that's, that's left by Anthony to like get everything up and running. So when it's time to comment about him, it's usually bad comments, like how big of a slob he is. You always bring that up. Yeah. Well, this is the computer that I use. I leave like a dirty diaper here. He doesn't even have kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now it's just us. There'll be a thousand more videos of that. What is it? Well someone had an idea of doing a base building thing with a capture the flag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if, I'm not a big scrapper, but like a capture the flag sort of thing could, could be fun. I don't know how that would work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think not. Someone made a mod, they posted it on Twitter, someone made a mod for Doom where everything was Tim Allen. Oh, I think I heard about that, yeaah. Oh god. It looked ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of DJs, I was in, uh, I took my daughter to that store, Claire's, my little daughter, took her to Claire's. I was at Claire's yesterday. Yeah? Yeah, I had to get new hoops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't care. I was like, yeah, okay, so. Without a daughter. I said, uh, we saw a little girl there getting her ears pierced and I said, oh, Hailey, should I get my ears pierced? And then she's like, no daddy, don't get your ears pierced. You'll look like a DJ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're sticking with the hoops. I have since I got out of the Marine Corps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, let's just talk about Ridge Wallet. They're features like RFID blocking, sleek, slim, futuristic, and lifetime guaranteed. Right. If you go to RidgeWallet.com forward slash NeebsGaming and use the code NeebsGaming, you get free shipping, 10% off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm. And an amazing wallet that, that will, will outlive me. And they'll give you a plot of land and heaven. And cockroaches. Yep. Not tardigrades.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've said it before, we will crash and burn if you take a break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go back to the Smithsonian with that please. I love the Smithsonian. Have y'all been there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Historic waterpark. Like, just a waterpark based off of history of the United States. Yeaah. You got the George Washington, like, luge thing, whatever. Nah, listen, listen, we got some stuff in D.C.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was big. And I'll tell you this right now, like, to me, yea, it looks like a, it looks like a kids game, but I don't think it's like insecurity, it's just like, you outgrow shit. I don't wear fucking underoos. Yea, but this is, but I kinda don't want to. It's a creative tag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, creatively I like the decision, but like, but that's not a game that I would play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think us playing Minecraft is more palatable because of Nievesylvania, because that was something. You know, when you go from, yeaah, Ark, which is very realistic, to kind of the kids version of it, and again, you know, Nieves is probably right with people thinking that we might stay there, and then they're hating on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then yeaah, it could seem like we just watered something down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. And there are certain things that I like as an adult that are kids things. It's not about insecurity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the funny thing is, Duralius, like, I made fun of you for the mimosa and then you were like, oh, well, Thicc probably drinks wine coolers. A mimosa is a fucking wine cooler. No, it's not even close. It's not even close. It's alcohol with juice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A highly distinguished, like, you can find six dollar champagne. It's not hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like beer like right off the bat, but I still to this day don't really care for whiskey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so. So guys, I have control of our PayPal account, and I think what I'm gonna do is, uh, dump all of our money into eSports. Cause that's where it's at! Yeah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their gates are flooding, like, right now with everybody wanting to get in on the action and everybody starting to put, like, teams together. There's a ton of money in it, like, the number one team in the world, OG. Og. 2018, made 11.47 million dollars. Wow. And they're like a Dota 2. Yeah. So how many people are on this team? Guessing so. Why, are you looking to get rid of one and play Dota?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, coming back to OG, the highest grossing team in 2018.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have, uh, what looks like five main people, and then there's kind of another, other players here, like, which might be either past players or a different roster, but I guess it depends on the game. Like Overwatch, it's a five on, is it five or six? I can't remember. But CSGO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The number one team right now, 2019, is from China, and it's, I don't know if it's VC Gaming, or, yeaah, I don't know how to pronounce that, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeah, they're, they're another one of those Dota teams. They dress like, uh, NASCAR drivers. Gotcha. So when do we start our team? We should probably start a team. We just find...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We find like five or six of our community members that we think are the best gamers. We slap a sticker on their already existing shirt. That's not going to cost us much. And then we pay an entry fee of up to five dollars for whatever large tournament that they want to enter. And we're second stringers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the shirt that I tried on was very comfortable. I'm already wearing a shirt, so I'll dirty that one tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then we, then we quit while we're on top. As soon as there's another team where it's like, hey, we're retired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we just put a for sale sign on Neibs Gaming but only to Disney?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they'll probably pay a lot of money for us. They'll pay anything. Just, have you seen our stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I have, but here's what I'm saying. They'll be like, yeah, well, it'll be one of those things like where the kid asks for the, uh, pack of gum in Walmart. Yeah, go ahead and get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, we have a large reach, so I'm sure somebody from Disney is out there watching or listening right now. Probably somebody who purchases, you know, YouTube channels like us. I'm gonna say right now, we're up for sale. Uhm, Walt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His name was Abe. Yeah, y'all wanted me to be a part of that. No. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd have been a non-factor, though, I think. Yeah, and forget it, you would have been hit. Oh, yeah. He took one look at you and he's like, fuck that. Yeah, he's not gonna make it over my fat ass. I couldn't jump that on a dirt bike. No frickin' way. He's too solid up top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's first? Give them a holler. Would it be Ridge Wallet? Could be. The fanciest? Actually not even fancy. They're just like a great great wallet if you're a minimalist. If you like not feeling like there's a catcher's mitt in your back pocket if you want something sleek. It's RFID blocking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Los Angeles. It was. It's the precursor to E3 in a way. We didn't stay for E3. It's foreplay. It's E3 foreplay. Because EA did bring us out to EA Play to play Battlefield.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was awesome. Uhm, I will say this, Neebs, we really need to reach out to your favorite restaurant in the whole wide world, California Pizza Kitchen, to see if they want to sponsor everything you do. Honestly. Hey, where should we eat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where do we start here? Well, I can say this, EA Play, it's an outdoor event, but they have something called the Creators Cave, and that's where, like, the live streams take place, and also, uh, game capture takes place, but it's also almost an icebox. That place is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good thing, because Disneyland is a fun place. Cause I feel like that was day one. It's the land of happiness. First day we're there, yeah, we went to Disneyland. Yeah, I actually skipped it because I recently went and I have to go to Disney World. Sure. In like three weeks, so. Yeah. I don't want to be Disneyed out. Disney overload. But you guys might tell about your experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the reasons why I didn't go also was because we were not able to go to Galaxy's Edge, the Star Wars thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah, so I know many people are probably asking that right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good. I was about to say, Dralis, you have time in your life to talk about our Lord and Savior California Pizza Kitchen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was Simon's birthday recently and they brought him a cake with ice cream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say this. The rest of the country needs to get on board with legalizing marijuana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, most people know I don't smoke weed, but I certainly, uh, endorse it, tax it, use it to, uh, use it for education.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You move on to day two? Or day three? The first day of EA Play. Okay. Uhm, where we played, uh, the new maps in Battlefield. Yeah, those two. What else was there? Trevor Noah was there. Trevor Noah was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, you know, you kinda let the game sing, you know, in its own way, like that, because everybody has a cinematic trailer and doesn't show a lick of gameplay. But this was just all gameplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Agreed. And I am excited for Fallen Order. We're going to be doing a playthrough on the channel, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, announced some new stuff with Apex Legends, which is a game that I like, and it's about time they've announced something. It was a new legend, wasn't it? A new legend, uh, she's a French lady, and I think they're gonna have some changes to the map.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also some new weapons, so I'm excited about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they only got what, five or six now? I just wish it was like a cooler look at, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's the tenth legend. She's the tenth. Okay. Like if you had thirty I wouldn't be impressed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they had, um, they had some celebrities there. You mentioned Trevor Noah was there. Hey Trevor. Um, and I, I'm- Okay, go ahead. This is fun. No wait, first I'm, I'm going to talk about Dave, is it? Fuck, I'm going to get his name wrong. Dave Dobrik?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he is a YouTuber. Uh, I don't know. My daughter was like, hey, Dave Dobrik's gonna be there. You gotta get your picture taken with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to say he's got like 13 million subs. The kids love him, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our neighbor girl, she texts me, she's like, Mr. Thick, can you please get your picture taken? I'm like, no. Here. And I saw him, I just took his picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the kids in the, in the neighborhood, they ask me about things all the time. Oh, do you know, do you know this person? Do you know this person? I'm like, no, cause I'm not 13.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried, I tried, look, I tried to make it happen. Cause I, I wasn't gonna wait in line. Cause that was a long line. They had to cut the line, they had to cap the line and like turn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did that, fuck. But now I'm looking at like, I hate him already. Because he's got a video putting a puppy into the microwave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he seems, yeaah, he seems like a nice guy, uh, I guess, but yeaah, it's a lot of the clickbaity stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Amanda Cerny was there, she started off on Vine, I think. She's just really pretty. Uhm, she's famous for being pretty and I guess she does some videos and with her kind of money. Wait a second. I think she doesn't know anything about this girl. I know, I do know about this girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not so many videos, but she was really popular on Snapchat for a while. I don't know. Do they play like Battlefield or? She does not play video games, it seems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so she does a lot of little skits and stuff and she's super pretty. I mean, she's, yeah, she's really, really good. You've already mentioned that. Yeah, I know, but I can't say it enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got such a presence. He does, man. Yeah, and I watch, I watch his channel a lot when I'm just doing thumbnails or whatever, but uh. So you kind of fanboyed out, did you not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because, so Chris, who we know in EA, he comes over to me, he's like, hey, does, or he comes over to us, he's like, hey, does anybody want to get their picture with Dr. Disrespect? I saw he was there and I didn't get up and go do it, but I'm like, oh, okay, well if she's, he's downplaying it. Or does anybody want to go meet? No, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Neebs, god, you just, you are the worst friend alive!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, Neebs, you would come up to his belly button. That's how tall he is. I respect his content. I think he's pretty funny. I love him too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, he's got a personality though. Since I do watch his content, he has rivals, like he has a rival. He has a rival with, uh, with Shroud, Tim the Tap Man. Okay. Are they outrageous like him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, Shroud is, uh, he's been described as the voice of a sexy dentist, but he's very, he's very calm in his videos. He's down here. I think this game could use a lot of tuning, fine tuning down here. So that's Shroud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah. Nothing wrong with that. I was also excited to see Madden there. I play Madden in my off time. Yeah. Uh, so, yeah, it looks like the same game!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, I think different players have, like, special abilities, like, uh. We can fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, also, uhm, Zach and Josh from Zydax were there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the first time we got to meet Zach, and Josh really, but uh, but Zach especially because we've been dealing with him for years. And his teeth! Good folks. So white! Get the whitest teeth in the world!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Cam was funny because she was like, Hey, I heard, I heard you once say that Dorale is a single. Should I give him my phone number? And I said, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she wrote the phone number down and then she wrote her name and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you'd have thought she was like on a, uh, like on a roller coaster or something while she was writing her name. I was like, how do you, how do you, how do you say that? Is that in a different handwriting? Because the handwriting looked really crazy by the time, like the numbers looked fine, except they were going diagonal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he was talking about, like, it was the whole point, counterpoint, and then he goes into, oh yeaah, it's nothing like Manhattan. He said something. Oh yeaah. And then we just jumped all over. Everyone. The Tappan Zee Bridge. Oh Manhattan! We just let him have it as soon as he gets into New York. And yes, I am looking at pictures of the, uh, Richmond? The Richmond, Virginia skyline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone should document one of these things sometimes with- It'd be easier for us. Yea, have a camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's true. I was just saying you wouldn't do it for ten days. Alright, well yeah, you probably wouldn't do it. But four hours later, then I saw you guys. Right. Yeah, after the party. We all saw each other after. Yeah, after the party. It's like, hey, look at you! Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were gonna take your order from the car, then go to the store and just like kind of improv whatever happened there, just like make that funny somehow. I was like, fuck that, we're not getting these drinks. Let's go to Bobby's bar. Bobby's a bar owner at a bar. So we went to Tavern Lawn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then was that the panel we were going that, uh, the king and queen were crowned? Yes. Yes. I think that was due.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll make it a thing, that's gotta be a ceremony in and of itself. That'd be pretty awesome. That means they have to come. They can duel for it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was taking my time, I thought I was gonna meet him at the bar up the row, up the block, you know? So I was just taking my time, I'll get there when I get there. I was so like, tired after uhm, just having met everyone, it was wonderful, but it was like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what I said, there was one possible, one possible thing that would have had me come back out, and it wasn't even Daniel hitting me up from downtown, per se, a couple blocks away, if he was like, come to this bar, like, nah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, things will obviously be different next year. Just more fun and more diversity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have. And the progression of intensity and excitement from the crowd, like the growth of that throughout is really awesome. Yeaah. We need more of that. Yeaah. Agreed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we, uh, closed out the show with, um, country roads. Yeah, um, impromptu singing of country roads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She had a seven hour drive to the Sydney airport. Wow. From where she lives or eight hours or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never. And you can't just be done. So many people didn't want to be just done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before we got there. They had two waitresses. They had one work in the bar, and I know her, and then someone work in the floor. And then we came and we filled that fucker out. And I saw the owner at a bar, not while I was walking there. I saw the owner of Hell's Kitchen and I was like, hey, you should, uh, you should probably swing by Hell's there a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The staff, they were in the weeds, but I'm sure they were happy, and I talked to them, I was like, this is the coolest group ever, so just don't stress, you know what I mean? Don't worry about it, they're not gonna give you a hard time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does our audience care about? Well, do they care about Tech Gear? We got Tech Gear. They've seen us have Tech Gear for a couple weeks, but we haven't really addressed it, have we?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I'm Simon's mom. Like you know how a mom can go, uh, he's not feeling well. I can tell. Like you've got that mother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's weird. It is weird. His face is always dirty. How does he not feel it? But then he's got the dried up-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have puppy's breath. No, it's adorable. I'm in the sinking chair. Oh yeaah, we have a sinking chair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I'm at home, and most of my day is editing or something, I stand up probably 98% of the time. I've got to stand and guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can talk about flip-flopping. Flip-flopping isn't always a bad thing, is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it could be a bad thing. But yeah, if you realize, like I realize, uh, our friend from Wisconsin didn't make this. Right? I'm on a flip-flop on my stance on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they made no, uh, claims that they made this in the letter. Done. Somehow in my head. They must have made this. My friend makes Pepsi. Look at this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should I flip-flop? You always gotta ask yourself. Am I right? Could I be wrong? Let's do some research.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you understand it, Simon? Let me explain it. Everyone thinks in the movie Casablanca, the character says, play it again, Sam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never says that. Just, for somehow that's just a rumor that's, everyone just assumes is in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he never says play it again, Sam? From what I understand, he does not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we just listened to the studio version. At the very end, there is no of the world. Nope. But you're saying there is in the middle of the song, so that's what I'm thinking now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, I learned what biochar is the other day. Biochar? Biochar? It's like when you burn wood...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's just that kind of charcoal stuff left. It's really good. It's really good. Tell us how good it is for gardening and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is shit. And I'm already done with my topic. I'm not gonna go on for 30 minutes about it. That didn't help you much, Simon, did it? Nope. As far as killing time? Nope. I saw this TED Talk where they went to El Dorado, is that in South America? And all the soil was bad, but there were these patches of just really fertile areas and they're like, that's what they think they were doing, just making like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Charcoal and like, making unplanable areas, planable. I'd imagine there's at least 30 El Dorados out there, in the states, everywhere. Well listen, Simon has a real fear


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of society collapsing one day. This could be useful information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you've talked to me, you're like, I'm just afraid the whole world's gonna go to crap and we're all gonna eat each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, every couple years, we're, uh, or so, we're reminded here on the coast that you gotta prep a little bit, cause when a hurricane comes, you're like, then you start realizing, how long can I stay in this house without food? Yep. I desperately want to be that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're good. Well, it's not a whale, is it? Alright, listen. He just got legs. The ancestor of the whale had legs, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True. What you got, Names? You're holding like a... Well, I'm gonna talk about this in a second, but while we're talking about that topic, I saw a TED Talk where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were just figuring out how, uh, how well the brain is at processing information, no matter how it gets it. So they were doing experiments where they would put like a little, a shirt on someone or some sort of pad against your skin that's reading information, it could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever, sounds you can't hear, or light waves you can't see, or if you were deaf, just normal sound, and it would record the sound and then make little, like, pressure points in your skin, and you could feel it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now you could, you know, theoretically perceive something that you couldn't perceive before just by little pressure points. Imagine you're like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so yeaah, I had this piece of paper in my wallet since we were in Los Angeles. It was given to me by Big John, who brought a sandwich to Dave and Buster's. He did!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So his question was, did you like the sandwich?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's too early. Look, I'm not a first, uh, adopter of technology. I let people work it out, then I jump in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're already there, I mean, on Steam, we don't physically own any of those games. No, but you have to play it on your computer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you still have to have a computer. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My last comment, Delorean, absolutely love your thumbnails and your scrap builds. Your creativity is truly inspirational. Love you Dora, from Anthony. Thanks Anthony.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's going on with you folks who, who subscribe to us? Niamhs, what are you doing? Turning my phone down cause Thicc will have a cow if I don't. Thicc will? He mainly. Yea, I kinda do. Yea, he's, he's the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Simon was the big cow haver. I'm just mad. I'm kinda numb now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since we're talking about food now, can we talk about Simon's ordering habits just for a second? I know we've done it before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't ask for this. So here's what happened. I ordered my food, Abstra ordered his food, and I started watching TV on one of the many TVs in this restaurant. And I think two commercial breaks happened, and I looked back at Simon, he was still ordering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Asking, what kind of cheese is it? Are there onions on it? There are? Can they be, uh, caramelized or sauteed before they go on? Oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, like, I can't even remember all the details. I know before he left, he's like, can I get, can I get my drink to go? Oh, actually, I don't want lemonade though this time. This time I want to, what other drinks do you have? Just on and on.