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[Assistant] Yeaah, most people did it and didn't give me money. Yeaah. The guy who did it. The guy who started that. He drowned. Really? It's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? They started it? He died. Doing an ice bucket challenge? No. I think he fell off a boat or something. Isn't that crazy?


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[Assistant] I mean, also I could be wrong, uh, but I remembered that information and it felt real. He had ALS. Multiple sources. Right?


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[Assistant] This is impressive technology. Watch.


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[Assistant] It is crazy that he's in jail because of a stand-up comedy set that someone recorded in the back of a room. It would never have happened if there wasn't, uh, smartphones out everywhere and it's completely viral. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like young people heard Yanni, old people heard Laurel or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I moved like six, like three, I think like five months.


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[Assistant] Crazy. I agree with you. It's nuts. That last decade. It's like the first decade that I've been out of touch.


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[Assistant] I can't, I can't watch this. Some of those things where I'm like, this stinks, everyone's dumb. I'm like, I'm sure I'm dumb. And I just, it's not. It's not my thing. They're just, they're singing when they should be talking. Dumb. Makes me sick. They're not even singing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love The Sims. Well, the eight year heyday. Like seasons three to nine, two to nine. Like I said, seven years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they can't just do every superhero movie that they're only making superhero movies and they don't promote the real movies they're making.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, you have to live in the upper west side of Manhattan to be able to see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which I, I like, it sucks it'll be one less award, but it should be that way. I think. I think it made sense before when every leading man, there was only like, there was no leading woman roles, but now that it's, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you have to like, it has to be someone with Down syndrome who discovers that, you know, they're polyamorous and then get shot in the head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Radioactive blood was gone, and I just got bit by a spider. It just got real itchy for a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just followed him dying of cancer from radio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how it's played. An Australian tried to explain it to me. And then I was like, what? Do it again. And then he did it again. I was like, I gotta go. I have no idea what. Yeah, I'll see you later, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they gotta throw, they gotta, you gotta, the bowler, which is the pitcher, I think is trying to knock down the little sticks behind the batter. That's all I got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like there's a guy with a bat gonna hit a guy. There's a batter facing a guy with a baseball club.


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[Assistant] Do you wanna know the difference between, uhm, uh, Finnish people and Japanese people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Japanese people are like, no, we get it. We'll perfect it. We'll make our own league. Finnish people are like, well, we'll all just run around.


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[Assistant] There's no listeners, what they were wearing. I'm sorry about that.


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[Assistant] Basically, every once in a while I'll say something and be like, oh yeah, I am from a different country. Yeah. Yeah. It's a weird little things like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was awesome. I was living in LA and I went to go and I specifically asked my Chicago friend, I was like, can I hang out with you tonight?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, that was nuts. You see that 30 for 30? He like lives in Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it's the owner's fault. There's just not a lot of money in a town that's built on steel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love how they broke up the 98 Bulls in 99 because they're like, we're going to rebuild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To watch it at Comedy Bar in Toronto, uh, flew back to Toronto, I'm not from there, it was just awesome. It was so awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a problem because no one wants, free agents don't want to come to Canada. Cause they're, they're like, oh I gotta get a passport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He basically is like the king of the company now. He can do it anywhere he wants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you about that. I, I told myself I'd never go on vacation. I started comedy in 2007 and I got that in 2018. I said I'm never gonna go on vacation until an American late night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the way they film it is they film a bunch of comedians. They have a full audience and they just have six comedians. And then they edit the comedians out and put them into shows throughout the next couple months. You never know when you're going to be on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alone. Yeaah, Paris and Berlin. I didn't have a girlfriend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no. Okay, no. That suit, actually, I got it like, finally in the basement for like, 100 bucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which talk I don't do? I just, I do not learn. Every time one comes along, I'm like, nah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I remember Dan Soder was like, you should get, I was like, I chose my Twitter handle as Graham K Comedy because I want them to know I'm a comedian. He's like, you should do Graham K. I'm like, it is. But how are they going to know I'm a comedian, idiot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the exact same thing with Instagram like five years later. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is not bad, that's better. It's okay, it's hard to explain to people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta be like, like, GK, GK, or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Been here 500 years, I'll see it next trip, burnt down like a week later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. That was when you went when it burnt down? I was like, I, I, I couldn't, didn't have time and I was like, I was, I almost made it. I was like, nah, it's been there like 600 years, a thousand years. I'll get it when I'm back next time. And it burnt down the next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just on Instagram. Mr. Graham K on Twitter. Mr. Graham K. Cause Instagram K wouldn't work on Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have grahamk.com. But cause someone, someone bought my name and made me buy it for $300.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what happened? I was on the bonfire, and I said that it was unavailable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then someone waited for it was to be, uh, available and like they bought it off that guy and then sold it to me. Yeah, we had it on the bonfire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, if you want to get tickets for Nate's tour, you can get them at grahamk.com. That's the only place you can get them at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to Nate-land. Uh, what do you want to eat tonight? Maybe you want a home cooked favorite, but don't like to go, but don't like, don't feel like going to the store or you want something exciting and new, maybe a Sonic Blast like I might get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, DoorDash connects you with everything you want whenever and however you want it for a limited time. You can get 25% off and zero delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you download the DoorDash app and enter code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, thank you to our friends at Viori for sponsoring this episode of Nate Land. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but you enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75. Finally, fall is here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's time to get cozy around the fire with Solo Stove. Shop their fall event now and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shop their fall event now at solostove.com. Get an extra $10 off when you use promo code Nate at checkout. They even offer a lifetime warranty and a 30 day free return policy. All right, everybody. Welcome. Welcome to the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got a lot of stuff. I want to thank, uh, Chad and Kim. We got a little FBI glasses. They worked at the FBI. They came to the show in DC. Gave us some glasses. Had some hats and stuff too. Uh, pretty neat. He said he was like, you know, he loves after they wind down from a day. Cause they have a pretty,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eventful. Yeaah. I'd say so. It's just like, yeaah, just like watching, looking at just chaos all day. And so they're fans of this. Also Megan and Scott, I got, they wrote me a nice letter and thank you guys, uh, for that. Uh, and then the Titans, Titans sent me some stuff and they won.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Tides are doing pretty good. Yeah. Went to the game yesterday. Yeah. How was it? Good? Felt great?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was fun. I mean, they're, you know, this is our big high hopes for the Titans this year. I mean, you know, it's been more exciting than Vanderbilt, but, uh, you know, I got, I got all the messages about Vanderbilt. I get everything like, you watching this? Like, yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what, like all those guys had to go. Yeah. Fighting wars. Come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, welcome. We welcome. Open Arms. He's out there telling war stories in the huddle.


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[Assistant] He's older than, oh that is true. You could wear his jersey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean at college, you know, you're always being funny. Uh, welcome back Bates as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. You already lost a ton. Gave mud hens on.


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[Assistant] I have that, and I bet I have a total, I think I have a Mud Hens, uh, like a, not like that jacket, but a little jersey. I think I have that too. When I went to Toledo, uh, the Funny Bone, I think I got one there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I still haven't, I'm almost positive I looked at it last time, but then I do think I got that jersey. I do remember that. Yeah. Uh, no, that wasn't, that was Scranton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta go, uh, I was doing, uh, I got a lot of messages about golf. Appreciate y'all reaching out for that, uh, and stuff to do. We gotta figure out the system. It's hard when I have two shows, it's hard to go golfing. So that's a good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When there's two shows, it's tough and sometimes the night before and sometimes I got buddies with me, but I'm going to try to slowly figure this out because I would love to be able to go golf with, you know, just some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys on the road, you can meet some of you guys, go play. Uh, this one was kind of special, I gotta go golf with Tony Kornheiser.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was, uh, but I, you know, I play with everybody. You know, it was Tony. Tony lets on, you know, if anybody's PTI fans, we are obviously big PTI fans. Tony's always the, you know, I'm a big hack and all this stuff. Not, not bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For what he claims to be, he's not, I mean, I'm not, he's not, you know, a scratch golfer by any means, but he's...


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[Assistant] We played and then he's like, his son, he's like, y'all wanna play from the back tees or up or whatever? And I'm like, whatever, he's trying to accommodate me. His son is an unbelievable golfer. I thought like, alright, so I'm about to play with this dude, with his son and like I'm gonna end up, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I'll just, you know, he'll be like decent. Yeah. Whatever. I mean, not even, I think he was one over. I think I shot 85. Like, I mean, it was, I just got beat up by the course. I was playing bad and then he just was unreal. Great swing. Knows everything. Like just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very, just knows a lot of stuff about golf. A lot of cool, like just, you know, the way the grass is. I don't know, it's always fun hearing that stuff when someone's like really into it. Uh, but it was an awesome experience. And uh, Tony's just the, I mean, he's just a great dude, man. He's just a solid, solid guy. Like truly, he's, he's like what you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, he's just like a good, like I love that.


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[Assistant] No, I don't even know. We pulled up in the bus this morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Hershey, Pennsylvania. Had some great time. Great time in Hershey. Met a lot of people. Yeaah. I'll be listening to podcasts. Let's go folks. Get y'all out of every show. I love it. Uh, we went to Hershey. We did go to Hershey World. We went. Nick, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nick went in, he left us, we go to like, so it's an amusement park, it's a chocolate world.


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[Assistant] And there's a big amusement park. We walked around the amusement park, walked to the zoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we in Rodney Rodge, it was a kind of cra- like a lot of Rodges were a little long and then we didn't have a ton of time.


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[Assistant] Uh, and then Nick's like, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna stick around for a little bit. So we just watch, I'm just watching Nick just.


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[Assistant] We have to get him back here to tell the story. Like he somehow got on, he went on some tour on a trolley. He's got a bike, right? So he always brings a bike with him to ride. So you always got to watch Nick because Nick's got to talk them into letting him bring his bike in. So whatever you do, Nick's like, I'll get it in. And then you just kind of, we went in and then, uh, Nick just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, and then he ended up like on the bike. This is like a very, uh.


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[Assistant] Brief. This is the stuff that Nick tells stories. He goes, and then I got lost going back, I rode my bike to a golf course, met some really nice people out there. And I'm like, what? And then he doesn't really get into that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like how do you, I can understand, alright, you took a wrong turn, he's somehow driving on a golf course, riding his bike on a golf course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know where, he was asking where the directions, like how to get to, how to get to Hershey Theater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it weighs five pounds. It's my, I was going to buy a Harper's something and then I was like, you know what? This is pretty good. It's a five pound, I actually got a Kit Kat bar that this family gave me. That was a very sweet family. Uh, so it was fun.


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[Assistant] Oh, my favorite episode to date, I feel like you and him worked together on that.


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[Assistant] My favorite episode of the day, loved hearing about the experience that shaped you guys as comedians. It made me think of how life is about getting out there and doing it, and if you want to learn, you have to gain experience. Not just by performing, but by learning from other performers. Yeaah. That's true.


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[Assistant] Experience is everything, man. I guarantee you could, that'd be, just, you gotta, people don't wanna do experience. I mean a lot of people wanna, was gonna start comedy, actually, this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're starting when you're starting. You know, Lewis Black was in his forties, you know, Bates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Early fifties, he's making it now. Uh, you know, uh, Ronnie Dangerfield. He was in his fifties, I think, right? Yeah. I mean, a lot of people do good. I mean, I, you know, I'm 42. It's not like I'm 21, you know, but it takes a long time.


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[Assistant] But, you just can't get into that, man. You can't think about that. You just go try to be the best comic that you can be. And, uh, if you have true talent, I truly believe you get a shot at it, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know who you 60s. There's some guys in there. Uh, yeah, you just got to go. I say, I see kids and you know, there's like 16 year olds that want to start stuff. Uh huh. Uh, you know, Pete Davidson was 16 when he started. Uh, but I would, I mean, like you can argue, make an argument just as much starting too early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're 16, you're still in high school. I don't think it's bad. Maybe go get some like, you go up, you do some stuff, but if you do start very young, I would say you still need to go live a regular, you need to go, you know, if you're going to go to college, go to college. If you weren't and get a regular job, get a regular job. Don't like just think I'm going to pay for like this. Go do regular stuff. Cause experience is what you talk about and that's what you make funny. Jordan Lundeen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And said it was good to meet a fellow folk from Nate land. All right. That worked out. That's really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It may have been really funny. I'll be honest with you Jordan, it would have been funnier if it did not work. No, it's awesome to hear that it did work out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Brian Kinnelly. I don't know. Kinnelly. Kinnelly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet that's it. Brian Kennelly. Kennealy? Kennealy. Brian Kennealy. Kennealy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, sounds like uh, Dustin looks like a police sketch artist trying to draw Nate based on a poor eyewitness description. That's funny. Uh, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Robbie Lightfoot, tell Nick not to feel bad for brushing his teeth with cortisone cream. My dad was a college basketball coach for 30 years, so growing up my brother and I would attend all of the summer camps. My dad was an early riser and on the first morning of overnight camp he realized he had forgotten to pack toothpaste. He decided to quickly sneak into my dorm room to use some of mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rather than an alarm clock waking us up for camp that morning, the entire floor was greeted


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[Assistant] By the sound of my dead screeching throughout the halls, springing out of bed, I opened my eyes and see my dead violently rinsing his mouth out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quickly became evident that rather than grabbing my toothpaste, he had mistakenly brushed his teeth with my roommate's jock itch cream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was his roommate. Son's roommate. That's a joke. I know. His dad's like, well, at least it was my son. Oh, and then he finds out it wasn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He needs to do better. Maybe, you know, don't just lose weight here, lose it in your frown.


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[Assistant] If I don't go to Hershey, it's like those guys die for nothing, is the funniest line in the last year of this nearly perfect podcast. Well done, Aaron Lane. Thank you. There you go. Yeah. Came back.


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[Assistant] Yeah, clear things up in my head. That's good, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're able to just get out there and boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Nathan Burbank. Yes, Aaron's use of aux is pretentious. It's still correct. If we limit a language to only the words agreed upon by the lowest common denominator in any room, good night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would soon be back to grunts and gestures. Love the podcast and its members. Please never stop. Just admit that you need Aaron to occasionally inject intelligent perspectives. I don't know, I'll take any of that, Nathan.


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[Assistant] It's because we don't use aughts and the next thing you know we're grunting and just hitting each other in the head. Seeing who's head's harder.


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[Assistant] Nooo. Oh, he sounds like a cool dude. He gets it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kaylee Byrum, Nate kept trying to talk about the order from Barker and then the next step but never got to a finish. Inquiring minds want to know. Oh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk about the order from Barker and then what goes after that. It was like Barker, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Barker, you, you would get a, then hand out flyers kind of by the door. So, and that would still be bark intended actually.


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[Assistant] So you're handing them out, first step was you're not near the club, you're two blocks down or whatever.


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[Assistant] Then you're in front of the club and you get to kind of hang out there, which is nice. And then you just get to work the door. You don't have to try to get people in. And then you would hope to get to MC and host and you get to MC and host the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you would get to a point where you then want to just be able to do, uh, check spots was a big one. So in New York, you want to, you get to go up. You don't have to do anything for your stage time, but you go up when they drop checks for everybody, which can be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it really depend. Some places it was okay, and some places it was brutal. I remember doing them one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They drop checks to everybody and your, your, I mean, your job is a check spot. That's your job. You're going up there and they're, they did the waitresses know, do not drop checks until Nate is on that stage. And then Nate, you do not get off stage until everybody's done paying. And when they're done paying, you get off immediately.


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[Assistant] That's what makes you do like is that's what being able to go out there and handle that situation. I mean, I remember being up there and no one's looking at you.


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[Assistant] You're talking in a microphone. It's pretty like surreal to be in a room.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's what may, that's what helps you. That's what I think helps New York is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, waiting tables, no. Check, after check spots was you would just usually get, I think you would get, maybe you could get guest spots or you would get past at some clubs. So you kind of get to a point where you just were,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe like you want to do a check spot. You're like, I don't really do check spots anymore. Like I'm, I'm kind of like, you know, maybe you're not getting paid all the time, but you get to go up and sit and wait or some clubs are kind of paying you some or not. You know, you're not passed everywhere. It's not like there's a blanket. You're passed at every club at the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, but you would do some free shows, but you don't have, but you don't get checks and you don't get, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then so you'd go up and like kind of try to like get the crowd to pay attention and then J-Daves would go up and then the rest of the show would start. And uh, but yeah, that was a brutal spot too man. I mean, cause they don't even know. You just go up and they think the show started and it's not. You just do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eastern Bennett, it hurt me to my core hearing Nate call the Broadway straight, or as he referred to it, the royal straight, the second best hand in poker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He also followed up with calling the community cards the River. The River is the single card that came, that comes last. Last thing to mention, there are five other hands that would top the infamous Royal Straight, Flush, Full House, Four of a Kind, Straight Flush, and a Royal Flush. Please bring back Baby Ol to hold this podcast together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know that. And you would think my dad's a whole, I mean, I ate dinner off of cards. Someone being really good with cards. Maybe that's why I don't pay attention to him as much. Uh, we played this other game, AC Doocy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's another on the bus, little fun little card game. And it got wild. I mean, you, you lay down two cards and so it's like a king and a three and then you either got to bet the pot or not the pot to be like, so, so everybody puts in a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And with, I mean, he got destroyed in uh, AC DC and then came and we played poker afterwards. And I think one, I got it to a hundred dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He ended up being up 100. He had quite the swing. He would just be, you know, Nick can't see the cards. So everybody, someone flips the card and then Nick starts getting tired. He starts falling asleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he'll be like this and you're like, Nick. And he's like, what? And he'll just, he just sits there and thinks about it for a long time. And there was times where we said, Nick, are you in? And he didn't answer. And we would just play the hand and then we would be like, oh, chase one. And then we'd take the cards away and Nick goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would be like, I'm five in. And we're like, no, the game's over. Like you, we thought you folded. He goes, I didn't fold. You know, we came to you and said, did you, are you out? And you just didn't say anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Corey Alex White, the pitcher from King and his court struck my grandfather out from second base.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The right filter of one game is looking at the left filter of the other game. Yeah. Like it's, and so you're both just standing opposite of each other and you're playing. And so the king in the court did one of their, you know, games and then he was like, I'll stay around if anybody wants to try to bat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my dad, uh, pit, or my dad tried it bad. He's like, I mean, we never touched it. He's like, that's why they could do, cause he's like, no one could touch this guy. Like he was so good. He said, my dad goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said if you pitched the ball high and you think, oh, he made a mistake, I'm about to just, just rope it now. And the ball would just drop to the ground and you would just swing and miss it completely. And then Ronnie Barghetti, my cousin Ronnie, uh, he's my two thumbs. He's the one that told me about the two thumbs Barghetti.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just striking, where are they at? Like where are they at? So there's a guy standing there just so he doesn't, you know, and then the guy's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They get hits. Can you imagine? I mean, that guy's, yeah, I could, I mean, this king, you know, they just rope them. I mean, just, you know, yeah, it's crazy. So interesting. All right. Uh, Chris Kelly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hearing Brian's story of calling Al Gore reminded me of the first time I ever called into the Jim Rome show. I immediately got through, I was so shocked that I actually made it to the show in one try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scarborough is always feeling for me. I was always such a big Jim Rome fan. Uh, thank you, uh, to our friends at Viori. Viori is a new outlook on performance apparel.


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[Assistant] Perfect if you are sick and tired of traditional old workout gear. I have the Sunday Performance Joggers and the Core Shorts. Both are very comfortable. I'm wearing the Sunday Performance Joggers. Uh, actually wearing them on the bus, wear them out of the bus. Like I'm just wearing them all week. It's just easy to wear and you can wear. I work on the Core Shorts and uh, I'm getting jacked.


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[Assistant] And so everything is designed to work out in, but it's not, like I said, doesn't look or feel like you just work out in clothes, which is why I like them so much. They make it look so great in everyday life, not only in the gym.


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[Assistant] So many people are still working from home. So Viori, you can look nice, feel great, and run errands. You feel like you got dressed up. Ordering online is very easy. The website is not cluttered.


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[Assistant] Very easy to pick styles and color options and everything is a great fit to it. Do yourself a favor and get your own Viori. Viori is an investment in your happiness for our listeners they are offering.


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[Assistant] 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate. That's V U O R I dot com slash Nate.


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[Assistant] Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75 in free returns. Go to Viori.com slash Nate and discover Viori clothing like we all do.


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[Assistant] Also, uh, do you ever get in the driveway if you're going to the grocery store and you realize you forgot the one key ingredient for dinner? Now you have options.


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[Assistant] Get the groceries you need or a backup meal from your favorite local restaurant delivered with DoorDash. Sometimes, uh, we even plan to eat at home but the day is just so busy we don't have time. You know, we get very tired. You just order some DoorDash. Get what you want to eat right now and write to your door with DoorDash. Craving late night ice cream? Like, I mean, I've ordered. I mean, I've done the Sonic Blast a few times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you just need to stock up for the week with DoorDash. You get everything, uh, in one app along with the restaurants you love.


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[Assistant] You can now get groceries and other essential items delivered with DoorDash. Get drinks, snacks, household items.


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[Assistant] They have over 300,000 partners. You can support your neighborhood, go to or choose from your favorite national restaurant like Sonic, Chipotle, Cheesecake Factory. Uh, we get DoorDash for those, I mean, every week. I, all of, we do it when we eat lunch, we get DoorDash. Ordering is easy. They even leave your orders outside your door when you choose contact, contactless delivery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a limited, which I've liked, you know, it's kind of nice sometimes they just set it there and you're like, and then that way you don't gotta be paying attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solo stove. It's time. It's getting the time out to get it out. It's getting, you know, real chillies, real chilly this weekend, especially up north.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hot during the day, cool at night. We're ready to get into fall because we like the cooler nights enjoying a nice fire with our friends and family making s'mores over a solo stove and watching football. The solo stove has been so much better than any fire pit I've ever been around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not smelling like a campfire is just so great.


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[Assistant] Usually when you get home from enjoying time outside with friends or family, you have to immediately shower off the smell, but not with solo stove. There's no setup, just unboxing and enjoy a little fire story wood and you can just have a nice fire quickly. We have the bonfire version with the stand. I almost think we could bring this on the bus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we could put it on the bus and you know, and just have a little fire when we sit outside. It's not smelling like smoke is again, I mean that's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unbelievable. Like it's such a big deal to not, I'm not a big fan of smell like smoke. Some people don't care. I am not a fan. And I wouldn't make a fire because of that, but now I can with solo stove. It is easy to keep lit and even easier to clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get the perfect fire pit for those fall nights and make your backyard a destination with a spectacular fire pit from Solo Stove. Shop the fall event now and get an extra $10 off and use promo code Nate at checkout.


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[Assistant] They are so confident you will love it. They offer a lifetime warranty and a 30 day free return policy. Just go to solostove.com and remember, you get $10 off when you use promo code NATE. Alright everybody, this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, over the hill. Kelly, when did you start doing over the hill stuff? 40?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, well, I think, I mean now, I mean when I was growing up, over the hill was, yea, you would say 43. Now you'll say what, 43? Now I'll say 50. 50 is the new 40. 50 is the new 40.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you're over the hills, whatever it is. I feel like you got a good 40 to 60s like a, you know, is prime time now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, outside and inside your body is different ages, so.


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[Assistant] Inside's been beat up a little bit, outside- You're about to be 30, right?


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[Assistant] 30 is a big one, man. 30 is a, you know, it's your first, it's, it's like, you're like, alright, I'm an adult, you know? And then, yeah, and you, and it seemed crazy, 30 feels old and you're, you never realize how young it actually is until you're past it. And then you're like, God, I'm so young.


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[Assistant] But I think 30 is much different than it was. Like, our parents, 30 and 40. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] Our parents 40 was, it felt like they were about to retire. You know, not now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, 79, uh, 20, yeah. Yeah. I think so. I remember, I started comedy going to my dad's 50th. And I remember that was crazy. I was like, golly. I can't believe I'm at his 50th birthday.


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[Assistant] And I remember that. Yeah. And then, yeah.


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[Assistant] Well, he was, that was the big thing. He'd go mow grass. Yeah. Uh, my buddy, we would always mow grass and they, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was like, he was like, people would always be like, I'm gonna start mowing lawn.


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[Assistant] Well, I'll start saving this money. This will add up. They can wrap their head around all of it. Usually pretty successful.


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[Assistant] Because they just get it very early, and so then they start preparing. And then they're very prepared by the time they get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I don't even, like, I got paid five dollars to mow my grass in my neighbor's misgivens yard. Five, she gave me five dollars. Did you get Amazon gift card? Yeah.


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[Assistant] I mean, I'd go buy candy at a candy store like I was born in the twenties. Like, I mean, it just took such a big jump after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like I thought, were you not blown away that it was an iTunes card? That seems insane.


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[Assistant] That was big. I almost, I think, I just never heard it, I've never heard it like that. I almost, if you saw me bought CDs, I would be like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I bought candy and like, uh, $5 you go in this candy store and just get a lot of stuff. A dollar would get you a lot of stuff. It was on the telly and that store shut down pretty quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I always say cut the grass. Or movie, I dunno.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean, you're saying it's just us? No, I'm just, you kind of like, once he started spiraling down this, once that Henry Cho started, it's like, he tells the birdie putt story, gets it going. Henry Henry's a great golfer. I don't think that we, you know, we start feeling like a little sense of urgency.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel it at all? Yeah? Little like, you know people are listening to this and you're going like, and they're like, you know, okay.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Like he just trails off, like, you know, we're just all sitting outside with our hands. Like, I mean, the next thing is go big. Alright, I'm gonna get out of here, man. Uh, like that's, it's the perfect, I'm gonna get out of here and then go. Yep. Ahhhh. Hard, dude, I'm gonna hit it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't have to be crazy, but it's like, I shouldn't feel like I'm bothering you. They act like they enjoy their job, I really like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that's a sense of urgency, a little like, hey, make sure you guys are doing good, make sure you have a good experience. So it's not like, it's not just like you're sprinting, it's just a little like, I'm making sure that you have everything you need, you know? But I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had two people come with a pink penguin shirt. Oh yeaah. Yep. These two ladies had uh, two penguin shirts. We posted a picture. Very funny. One of the ladies.


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[Assistant] I think it's a fun family thing. It's like a, it's an afternoon. Like you do it as like, it's like a fun, like, you know.


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[Assistant] They did, why can't, why do we, why do we keep going with the church thing?


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[Assistant] Spider, I was a kid, our heater broke, froze to death.


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[Assistant] Fish jumped out of the back of the tank, committed suicide. We had a bird, uh, flew into a frying pan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you shouldn't have went to the blessing of the animals. It goes full circle. Mine needed it. We had to talk with them before all this stuff happened. They knew, we gave them the choice. We had multiple dogs. I don't think we were at a cat.


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[Assistant] You know, yeaah, dogs, yeaah. Your parents had a cat. Oh yeaah, the parents had a fat cat. That's right. Cosmo. A lot of this stuff is from Abigail. Cause she would get, my sister would get all these animals. Like she went, she worked at a vet thing. She takes in these dogs and all this stuff. So it's a lot of stuff, a lot of dogs we got. Some of it is like a, some of hers that she takes in and one of us has to take.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted a snake, I got a snake one year, and uh, my dad had to go, I remember he had to go buy it, I was 12. It was like a big, it was our first big Christmas, where my dad had a good


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, before that we never really had a lot of stuff, they always gave us stuff, we always had plenty of stuff, but like, it was the first Christmas where it was like, my dad like, got a lot of shows that Christmas, we were all getting, like, you know, it was a big one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it snowed that day. It was like this awesome day. And, uh, I, and we had, my dad had this aquarium set up in my room and I was like, I think I'm getting it. I think I'm getting this snake. And then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a hamster in the middle of the night. He put a hamster in there. Cause he knows, you know, we weren't kind of not off and on and Derek, my brother wanted a hamster. So he's like trying to make me think I got that hamster. And then when I woke up, I got a snake. Yeah. Red del boa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a clothesline hanger, like just let them go back and forth like that. And that was like, if you had money, you did that. Like that was, you know, there's like, well, real money, they had a fence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so crazy to think now this dog, dog just lays in, is in our bed. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of runs the show. Yeah. You know? Oh, that's so, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's just, you gotta imagine if he owned that, they ain't in the tip top shape either. No. You rarely see that and then you're like, okay, don't hurt them. Super healthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The new way. What's Holly? Labradoodle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take the fancy dog that's genetically built to be perfect. Doesn't shed. People don't want you behind them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they're like non, non, whatever that word. Yeah. Yeah. So people, those, we have, we know we have people that are alerts to dogs, but like, so then they, they can have them too. And so they just, you know, yeah. And so you got, last one, Annie was not. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Kat Luna. You look like you just struck a chord with you on this one.


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[Assistant] Like, I don't know, I mean, you know, cause it used to be. I just like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just sticks. So you, when you name your dog after the person and you meet that person, you know, ours is Holly. If you meet someone, she's like, I got my name's Holly. You're like, that's my dog's name. You tell them to their face. And there's, there's a lot of Bailey's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know any Bailey's in real life. It's a drink. Person or dog. Person or dog. I don't know any Bailey's. Uh, my buddy's kid named Bailey. Okay. Uh, but then, uh, I think I know a few Bailey's. Actually, no animal Bailey's. I actually don't know any animal Bailey's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, when, yeah, when Cocoa, if you're up against Cocoa to test, you know, imagine they make y'all do it as a competition. Against Cocoa? And you go, how many points did you get for not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just always think if you could, if someone could be like, you could have a dollar, which a dollar is kind of crazy, but you could have one penny.


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[Assistant] Of anything on earth, like what would you make it? I think about it, I thought about it this weekend, like would it be sand or salt or ant?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What would be the most, what would be the thing that you'd like guaranteed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I would think sand. I would always say sand. I didn't even talk about salt. We went, uh, we went, uh, where were we this weekend? Uh, I can remember downtown North Norfolk, Virginia. And so we went to their boat. I mean, they have a big battleship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you walk in, there's enough salt that they said if you grab all the salt in the world, it would be almost as tall as the empire state building high and cover all of North America. That's how much salt there is. Really? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, yeah, that's, that's an- Now who knows if that's true?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. You know. Sounds great. Sounds crazy though. Sounds crazy.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. I was gonna say Adams. How much money is that for p- I mean it's gotta be, could you ever, could you even figure that out? You would say Adams?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your families, you're the one who's like, uh, it's like a hunger game. You got, you got picked out of your family to go in and get the money for the family. And everybody's like watching on TV. Just say saying, just say, say, say, say it's here. It's on earth. There's so much of it. It doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, we're gonna say salt. And then they go, our salt. Yeah. Sand salt. Perfect. Right. Either one. Fine with either one. I'd go with cups. On shoes. Who cares? Who cares? It doesn't matter. We're going to be rich. Stars. Stars are not located on earth. Golly! You walk right out of there. Yeah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Animals with faster metabolism? Yea.


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[Assistant] They don't get killed regularly. They do something, I would say they do the most with it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. It's like the Matrix. That felt slower than slow motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a still photo here? I know I've seen slow motion, but I think that's a little slow. I mean they, they're, they're actively in like the street and the things are trying to hit them and eat them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're not big. So what do you think they would do? I don't know. They can't like kill something. You can street fight.


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[Assistant] Just some shenanigans for sure. Yeah. I think their life is shenanigans.


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[Assistant] That's kinda all they have. That's kinda all they got. It's a fun, it's not a bad life.


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[Assistant] Venus squirrel's not a bad animal. It's not a bad life. I would think. It's hectic. Busy a lot.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Always running behind. Always late for something. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I was gonna keep your eye out. You're always just kinda... There's always a hawk around. Very paranoia. Yeah, it actually wouldn't be a good life. Very paranoid, you know? Do you hear that? A lot of that. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe just a squirrel. What's that? He goes, nothing man, we're just talking. So the other day I was going to this store, I gotta get out of here. Is there something over there? You see it? You see it? Nothing's over there. It's a lot of that. They're very fidgety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's a lot. Get out, get after it. Colleagues. Alright, that's fair. That's 48.


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[Assistant] For like, you know, what's their alarm clock? How do you know to wake up?


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[Assistant] There's no eyes or nothing, you know, so you're just. It is hard to tell which ends. The guy had two families, once they finally find him out, they go, what's going on here? Nothing.


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[Assistant] And they go, I know, but I just looked over, who you talking to down into that end? I thought it was you.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well why would you not then look into the koala bear? That's what I would say.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would be like, you know, they go, ah, it's another quallbear fingerprint. But kid, then why don't we look into them a little bit.


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[Assistant] That can be kind of a tear. That is like, that's pretty crazy.


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[Assistant] I went through all takings this weekend. How many are there? Three. Three. Went through every one of them.


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[Assistant] I don't wanna watch anything new anymore. Yeaah. I'm going through the- I'm watching the interpreter now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think I've already watched it. What is that? Nicole Kidman. Yeah. There's one scene I was like, Oh, I've seen this movie. And then I kept going. I was like, I don't know if I've seen this movie. Yeah. There's one scene though. I think I've seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be a great name for a modern league team. Pistol Shrimp. That would be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the pistol strip. Uh, let's get through this ad. I mean, this is, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean think if you eat something, you could not swallow it and be like, get it back out. Spit it back out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think the well was creeping up on him for the past two months, keeping an eye on him. I would imagine it was a mistake.


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[Assistant] I don't even think I would have even blamed the well at all. I never thought, man, this well ate this guy on purpose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think most people would think... That he did it on purpose? I would think it's a mistake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think mo- really? Yeaah. Cause they eat just big things of fish. There's no signs that they want to eat humans, a whale. There's no signs of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like besides a killer whale, I would be like, oh wow, you just got called in the thing. I assume the whale's doing it on purpose, man. You did too? Yeah. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many whales have eaten people? I don't think they've eaten that many people. Nobody. Well, how many people are hanging out around whales? That's why they're not eating people. How many mistakes have been made?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that many. I mean, you would hear about them. Unless they get swallowed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Less than, less than 10 people. I mean, so that means the scientists had come give


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's what, that scientist comes in and goes, after the study that we did, we would like to conclude that we think the well did it just like if you were running and you ate a gnat and did not do it on purpose. And I'd be behind him like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're saying like, uh, if you bought one at a store, took it home?


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[Assistant] I like, can you jog for me real fast? You can't jog. No, but jog. He's not going up and down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To look at the, see if there's snakes. To look for snakes. Yea, if you don't want them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty wild. Yeah, so you can't do that. I mean, so they just don't want them in there, so they just don't let them, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta be a freedom to know there's no snakes. You don't have that fear of walking on a snake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, it's one of those where you start to make a mistake where you're like, you're about to start feeding it rabbits and stuff, like you're just going down that road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You said the hamster was dying, and then she fed, so she said, I don't want to go buy mice for the snake.


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[Assistant] Rocket? Like rocket mortgage? Cause it was fast.


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[Assistant] Cause it was fast like a dog. I would almost think your dog's not- I'd like to see how fast his dog is to be like, he had some normal dog speed. Like it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all never met a person that named that. Rockets not a bad. Slithers. None of them are great, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are they called the Blue Jays then? You know? It's not one Blue Jay out there.


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[Assistant] Pretty crazy. One was on a wire or something, is that not that one?


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[Assistant] You made it here. You made it here. Yea, I did. I can't make it today.


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[Assistant] Watched a video that went viral. Only reason it could go viral is because this thing had to live. If it would have died, they never would have went. You know. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it gets old, small again, and then goes. What if they're like, you know what, turns out just lives 500 years and we just never pay attention that long. How would they know that? That's good to say. How long do you observe one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad watched this and now I'm watching it. We're all watching the same things in a cup. So it must be just in a cup. They just sit out. Must be immortal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Yeah. This is an immortal one I've never heard of.


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[Assistant] Yea man, dog shows you love, like a dog, you know, it's like how much like a dog...


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[Assistant] You wanna be able to hug something? You like, could it be your friend? You know it won't kill you? Sure. Well otherwise, why would you want a tiger?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think they would just like, let it be like, just let it be it's own thing then. Just don't go to Bornea.


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[Assistant] How big is it? Oh it's a pretty big island. Oh, we need it.


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[Assistant] This is a smaller one, we could have probably just been like, how do we get there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until the Garfield, the Muhammad Ali of cats refused to go. And then, and then he, and that's when it stopped. I said, I'm not fighting your war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's big. He's like 6'6". Oh really? Buweekly's a big dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's pictured, I've told this story, much stuff. They're what this guy would set up at a fair, right? You just said like, you know, nowhere Georgia, where, you know, middle of nowhere. The South, you know, boo's probably about my age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the old dude. I've not heard that story. I've told it. It's one of the best stories I've heard. I mean, just so, if you think it's a fake to my right, go to my left. It doesn't even easy to welcome back in everybody's truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The orangutan, you gotta just really, if anybody's at home, you listen to this story, you gotta really picture an orangutan. Arms, the gloves are probably touching the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he just stands and goes in a circle and just kind of follows you. And it's shorter. It's much smaller than you. Yeah. And then right before it, you don't ever see it even swing. It just goes poof. And it's so strong that it knocks you out. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's, I mean, it's not like you see him get into it, there's no like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got my legs into it. It's just out there. And then they carry up and lay in the back of the truck. And this was, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet it's going to be pretty tough to find that now. If you want to go watch an orangutan fight a guy, I don't think you can just go find it. It's not as easy. There's not public orangutan boxing matches. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, it's just so funny to think of just have no idea what's happening and just boom, it just comes up out of nowhere. Wake up in a truck.


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[Assistant] I mean, he became a professional golfer. I mean, if you told him that like, hey, you're going to be a professional golfer and actually have a, you know, you're going to be a big time golfer, famous golfer and you know, in his life and you look at his life's resume and part of it is he was knocked out by orangutan, like just seeing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, ask them about it, they'll tell you. Uh, alright, that's it, this is a short, this is a little bit shorter one.


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[Assistant] It's like I'm just not back in the groove. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a little bit quicker, but that's alright. I rolled up this morning the bus. Last week was, uh, two and a half.


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[Assistant] Uh, we gave him extra last week and that was good. So we're, we're even it out. Even Stevens. Uh, all right. I am, uh, going back to, uh, Washington DC tomorrow. If you're watching this and I'll be in Richmond, Baltimore and Red Bank, New Jersey.


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[Assistant] Wichitaal come out. Wichitaal. Alright. Thank you guys very much. Talk to you next week. Bye.


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[Assistant] You ever see a room you've been in a bunch from a different spot? It looks like a new room.


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[Assistant] I know. It's kinda wasted on him, huh? Yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm getting something out of it.


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[Assistant] We're always, I'm always reminded of your line, Nate, where Brian was reading something and he was like, you don't find that interesting. And Nate goes, I mean it is, but people are listening to this. It's just something to keep in mind.


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[Assistant] I know. I thought you were trying to name another social media platform.


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[Assistant] Is it a free for all, putting stuff in the suitcase, or is there a science behind it? You roll stuff up, how do you do it?


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[Assistant] When you struck out at the Royals game, right? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] They would beat everyone. They would play teams of nine with just four people and obliterate people.


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[Assistant] I used to do cold calls for my job. I would have, I would have liked to have had some kind of a line, something like that to at least keep me.


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[Assistant] Let me ask you guys, can I float it to y'all? What do you call the decade after the 1990s? After the 90s? Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. This was Nate's solution to save water, was to get rid of sinks.


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[Assistant] I've got the cortisone and the Colgate logos pulled up. So you can see here's cortisone and here's Colgate. And you can see, so here's a tube of cortisone and I could see how you'd think that was a travel size Colgate.


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[Assistant] For external use only. Right there in the direction.


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[Assistant] Kinda on the back end. It also means any adventurer engaged in a quest or a band of heroes. Argonauts.


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[Assistant] I know him, he's a comedian from Alabama. Spirit Walker. Native American? I've done a couple shows with him.


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[Assistant] Oh wow. Dustin and I are wearing basically the same thing. Yeah, so we do. This feels a little...


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[Assistant] He changed, he changed his last name to Potter, but kept, but Kay is his first name. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Hershey. There's a bunch of different stuff there. The whole city is like Hershey themed. It's pretty cool. I did a weekend in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania at the Comedy Zone there, and it's equidistant to Hershey and Gettysburg. And I was like, what do I do? I want to see Gettysburg. But Hershey is


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[Assistant] I remember thinking, I was like, if I don't go to Hershey, it's like those guys died for nothing. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] It was like an hour from, or maybe even less than that from, uh,


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[Assistant] Did you sleep in your workout clothes?


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[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta ease into the day a little bit, man. I think the water's probably good. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, Travis took a picture of it. So like- I think the river's the last card. It's the flop, the turn, and then the-


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[Assistant] I just call it, that's what's on the table. That's what's on the table. But the first three are the flop and then the turn and then the river.


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[Assistant] Well, it's, well yeaah, it's the five that are on the, yeaah, I get it. I might not even be right, but, sorry.


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[Assistant] I did the Ryman, I headlined it. The Ryman here in Nashville.


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[Assistant] I think, yeah, well, 13, 14 minutes, but, uh, pretty amazing.


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[Assistant] Uh, so that was a lot of fun. And I was in St. Louis Helium, did that last night, drove in this morning. Who'd you go with there? Dustin Nickerson. Oh yeaah. I was there with him.


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[Assistant] This is in 2004, December 20th. Yeaah. Yeaah. That's, that's kinda what it was. Yeaah, so I mean, you can see it. Yeaah, so look. So right up in the New York Times about this. Yeaah. So that's cool.


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[Assistant] Did you ever see that clip? It was a clip that went viral at MSNBC years ago and the moderator is arguing with the guest and finally the moderator goes, uh, do you have a degree in economics? And the guy goes, yea, highest honors.


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[Assistant] He's doing a bunch of shows with Leanne. He's all over. So check both of us out on social media. We're out there on the road. We love seeing podcast fans come out to see us. Saw one last night in St. Louis that came out. It's great.


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[Assistant] Are you doing the Lyric in DC? No. The Constitutional? DAR. The Constitutional? Yeah, D-A-R.


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[Assistant] I was more nervous about that buildup than going on shows.


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[Assistant] Missouri is a wild state. There's a lot going on in Missouri.


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[Assistant] I don't understand why every bathroom doesn't have the dividers in between. I'm in the airport the other day and there's still a bunch of open urinals. And not even the one that you can get real close to. It's like a half trough. Is it O'Hare?


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Oh. You think the donkey-


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[Assistant] Like all of it. Get right in there. What is the saying? Hook, line and sinker. Hook, line and sinker.


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[Assistant] Well, you know, the, yeah, when the big companies, I mean, they always send out the free samples when you're, I was the second, I was fighting for second in pesticides, you know, and we don't have free samples to give out. Even second place does it.


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[Assistant] We had outdoor events and the big company would have a grill grilling out hot dogs. They had a 50 foot inflatable ant and we had, I had a little, you know, some mosquito wipes, you know, I'm like, ah, hey, uh, you know, I'm just, and I'm sweating, you know, and


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[Assistant] Also the fact that Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos and Lay's is a billion dollar industry. Maybe, maybe that's the problem with some weight loss. Yeah. Makes it hard for sure. Real good. I don't know anybody that's like, you know what I went all Doritos lost 50 pounds.


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[Assistant] So you would eat, I would eat like the sides off of it.


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[Assistant] I did, uh, in 11th grade. What'd you take? Spanish. You speak Spanish now? I got a D.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so we all shared it. Four hours I might have drank an open one.


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[Assistant] You're like, yeah, you don't want to start off with four hours.


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[Assistant] You got land, right? I got some land. Yeah. I'm working on a cabin. Yeah. You know, I got a cabin. I mean, it's like, you know, but you got to get out there.


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[Assistant] I got some land out, you know, I'm trying to build a cabin and I got, uh, I'm growing some fruit trees. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, let's just say you went to the grocery store, right? And then there was no food in there, right? Okay. So one time you're like, this is pretty scary, but then everybody you know is going to the grocery store and there's no food in there. How long before everyone flips out?


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[Assistant] And then like everybody's an alcoholic, right? So the liquor stores are empty. Now nobody can get and then like pills. I mean it's chaos out here.


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[Assistant] They have planes. Well what can you really grow there? Can you grow, I mean is there enough land to like grow stuff? I don't know what's going on down there.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm learning to grow food. You know, I got, uh, you know, it's not, it's like I grew peppers and tomatoes and cucumbers last year, like abundance, and now I can't grow them this year. I don't know what's happening. So, so I'm like learning.


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[Assistant] Woah. Wow. So. That's good. Yea. But will we have electricity?


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[Assistant] Somebody said Kid Rock had something like that, like a trailer and then an underground house under the trailer. Is that true?


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[Assistant] Yeah. It's a whole retreat. Yeah. And if it goes down, we go out there. Yeah. We just start shooting for no reason. Yeah. There was that show people know what's going on.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And then I introduced him onto the stage, uh, for his comedy segment of the show. Oh, really? So I'm on doomsday prep a little bit for a sec. I love that you're just in the.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I still do it. It gets a little inconsistent, but I still do it.


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[Assistant] Well, the wifi is wild, right? If you think about this idea that you get anything you want to your screen, right? Anything you want pulls up, but where's that coming from? Right? It's just floating around in the air. Is it going through our bodies? And what is that?


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[Assistant] They, uh. We're always a bit closer.


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[Assistant] And you're like, what are you talking about?


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[Assistant] If we've destroyed the climate so much that it's about to kill us, what are we about to do now to fix it?


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[Assistant] Well okay, but that's not a climate change prepping though.


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[Assistant] Because that's my thing, if the weather got so bad that you couldn't grow crops, how good are the seeds gonna do you?


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[Assistant] I knew a guy, we used to wait tables together and he would get so close to the screen, like to, to put in the order.


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[Assistant] Would you even know though if it went down? If you're living out in an earth ship and everything collapses, do you even know?


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[Assistant] I've driven across New Mexico and like for hours not seeing another person.


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[Assistant] I don't know, you know what I mean? I just, they're always like shooting a probe out and there's things apparently rolling around on Mars. I know, you know what I mean? They found a cave. On Mars. Yep.


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[Assistant] You know about this? Yeaah, I think I've seen it. You know about this Dusty? Yeaah, I mean there seems to be a lot of accidents happening.


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[Assistant] Snopes is, yeaah, Snopes is sketchy. They're like, oh listen guys, that's all fake.


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[Assistant] Some people think that they have some theories that they think the world did end. Yeah. And we're just living in the aftermath now. Oh really?


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[Assistant] So I've heard people say that and some people say that there is a shift, like something's wrong with our calendar and that we're like eight years off. So that actually 2020 was the Mayan calendar 2012. Yeah. And that, that it ended then.


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[Assistant] Well it's like, at least the way we knew it, it ended, you know? I mean like, 2020 was a wild time.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Like they, yeah, they're anything when it's for them. Especially suicide. I mean, really, like that doesn't even make sense. The world's ending in May and you're like, well, let me just do it now. Yeah.


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[Assistant] No, that's good. I can see it leading to his death, yea, but not anybody else's.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. I'm off this weekend too. Yeaah. I'm going to Dauphin Island, Alabama. Oh, that's fun. I'm gonna hang out on the beach. They have dolphins? That's what it's called. It's spelled D-A-U. Dauphin. Oh.


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[Assistant] But I would say it the same way, I guess. Maybe get a Charcotite.


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[Assistant] Is there a podcast? You don't listen to the Breakfast Club with Charlamagne the God? Yea, I haven't caught up. It's in my list.


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[Assistant] Oh, who's it named after? King George, man. Alright. Come on, dude.


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[Assistant] Can I guess? The steps. The rocky steps. The rocky statue. That's a good guess, but no.


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[Assistant] Not the bell, is it? The bell stinks. No. It's not in Philadelphia.


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[Assistant] So alright, so it was 2005, uh, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Oh, that says us. Are you on there? Okay. Oh wow. Look at that.


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[Assistant] Hello folks. And that doesn't mean that there's been a decision made. I'm just doing it, uh, that way to start it. Welcome to Nate Land podcast. Uh, as always, I'm with Aaron Weber, Nate, uh, Brian Bates, Nate Bargatze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're carrying a credit balance month after month, it can feel like you're in a never-ending cycle of debt. Upstart can help you make that final payment so you can get ahead. Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to upstart.com slash nate. That's upstart.com slash nate. Don't forget to use our URL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keeps offers a simple stress free way to keep your hair with treatments starting at just $10 per month. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To receive your first month of treatment for free. That's keeps.com slash Nate. To get your first month free, keeps.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also thank you to our good friends at Viori for sponsoring this episode of Nate Land. I love Viori. I got some. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the podcast, uh, I did Hello Folks. There's been a lot of people still, you know. When's the re-prevote? I don't know. I don't know if I'm gonna let anyone know. It's gonna be when I decide.


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[Assistant] Uh, it's gonna come out of nowhere. And it's just gonna pop up and be like, this is it. And I'll announce it. I don't know when it's gonna be.


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[Assistant] I'm Johnny, I like, I, you know, we talked about it, I, I lean to, uh, I like the idea of hello folks and the response being that let's go folks, you know, when the person mentioned that.


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[Assistant] Uh, with our buddy Greg Garcia, uh, who's just starting a new show. Uh, he, he said he likes that too. Like the response. He, that was, he thought, he thought that well when he heard the comment. He's like, oh, that's what I think too. The response to it in a while.


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[Assistant] When we're out in the wild, it's hello folks, let's go folks. Okay. Huh? I like it. A call and response? A call and response.


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[Assistant] If you can throw a video, if you can throw a football like he did into that.


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[Assistant] People are saying that, you know, uh, you get a shopping cart that's not, I got a squeaky wheel and you go, let's go. And then you're finally.


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[Assistant] Get around this grocery store and not be a nightmare. That's when people are saying let's go. And that's the guy that should be stopped.


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[Assistant] It's the, like, you know, if it stays in the athletic world.


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[Assistant] It's, it, that's where it belongs. You can't be, you know.


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[Assistant] Working at McDonald's and, you know, fries get done quicker than you thought. You go, let's go. All right.


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[Assistant] Which maybe that would be a big deal. They don't have to clean it. It's four o'clock in the afternoon. Hey, go ahead and clean the ice cream machine. Let's go. And then they go clean the ice cream machine. So maybe that's where the problem is with these sayings.


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[Assistant] Is, uh, is that the let's go. Tom Brady.


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[Assistant] That video, I guess it's real, right? I guess. People are saying, I mean, it doesn't seem like, I think they could do that.


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[Assistant] That's pretty amazing. It's pretty, if anybody hasn't seen it, uh, he's just, in those, the, if anybody, those football, they had those two wheels that spin and shoot a football out and the guys catch it. So he throws it into it and then it spits back to him and he catches it and then throws it back in it.


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[Assistant] Three times. Three times. But I could see it.


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[Assistant] When he went back, but I mean, you know, those guys are, yeah, that's how good they are. Like, so, uh, but I mean, would it just, you know, if you barely miss, I feel like it's going to knock it out.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, even if he did it for hours, I mean, it'd be very funny to go try it and then be like, oh, it's actually unbelievably easy.


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[Assistant] Like if the wheel, he just spins the wheels. Well, if he spins the wheels the other way and you're like, well, you can't not, not make it. Like it's the hard thing is to make it not stick in there. How do you find that out?


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[Assistant] That would be, if I was, uh, if you wanted to get under Tom Brady's skin, they should, like another quarterback should be like, and just like have his baby throw it in there and go.


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[Assistant] Just cause you haven't seen this. No one's seen that. No one knows how real, like.


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[Assistant] You know, if someone makes some crazy videos, sometimes you could be like, yeah, just no one knows what that is. And it's a very simple thing. I don't, I have no example though.


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[Assistant] I'm hoping that it is hard. It looks hard.


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[Assistant] So it looks impressed. I'm not saying I'm not impressed by it, but it would be funny if you're like, dude, everybody.


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[Assistant] A bunch of putts, which was 10 foot putts. It was like everyone he made.


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[Assistant] Uh, for 10 footers was like, you know, whatever money on that match, the tournament that they played in, whatever money would go to, uh, uh, to a charity and Phil, they just kept setting a ball down and Phil just kept hitting and makes, uh, I think every one.


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[Assistant] Except the last one, so maybe made 20 or 15 in a row, 10 foot putts.


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[Assistant] That's crazy. And just to be like going, just that repetitive where you don't, none of them slide off in the last one, like, but it was like kind of the last time. I mean, it's pretty wild.


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[Assistant] I mean, you know, I was gonna say like free throws if you made 10 in a row, but I mean,


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[Assistant] Uh, I dunno, forever. Well, you know what I mean.


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[Assistant] Ten in a row threes, I guess. I mean, ten feet is not long, but it's, I mean, putting's hard. But if it's a straight putt, that guy should be, Phil should be able to make, if you're at that level.


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[Assistant] You should be remake these. That's what it should be.


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[Assistant] Uh, you should be. Again, maybe you go try it and you're like, oh, it's actually, yeah, you can find the right putt. That's when you go to like Dick's Sporting Goods. You go to a sporting goods store and you let them, you can practice putt. I swear, our Golf Galaxy, their holes on the practice putting green, I think they lean in.


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[Assistant] Because you'd be trying to putter out and you're like, you just drain like four 40 footers and you're like, that might be, I might have to go buy this putter.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Okay. Elaine tries on a dress. Okay. In a skinny mirror. In a skinny mirror.


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[Assistant] You got my weight is I need to put on some weight and then you're delusional that you go, I'm going to go eat. I look malnourished.


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't, I mean I have a hard time thinking that.


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[Assistant] They could have the lighting and stuff, I think make you look really good. I don't know if they're skinny mirrors.


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[Assistant] It leans different? Oh. Oh. It's at a little bit of an angle. Yeah, and so then you're like, oh, I look, yeah. So the bigger the angle.


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[Assistant] There's a team back there with ropes. Hold it. Hold it. Guy's sweating. Easy fella. Easy.


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[Assistant] Alright, psychology episode. Oh, these are, these are the comments from the, didn't someone tell me not to do that? And then, then someone said yes.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. I feel like someone said don't do it and then someone, then people are like no you should.


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[Assistant] Three weeks, I think. Three weeks. Yeah, three weeks. Yeah. We're talking about all the stuff we did. Uh, but let's first talk about you guys. Uh, Meg, psychology episode Meg.


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[Assistant] My husband was not a fan of the pod but I dragged him down to Nashville anyway and he laughed so hard the whole time. It was awesome that Nate's wife greeted us at the door and the guys met with the crowd afterwards. Thank you for the much needed comedy therapy. Uh, yeaah. Thank you. Uh, yeaah. We did meet and greet.


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[Assistant] I think, I mean, I think everybody stayed, which is cool.


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[Assistant] My wife passed out gifts when they came in. I don't think people knew we were doing the year anniversary show. So they were like, oh, but we, uh, yeah, passing out those gifts. I know we mentioned it twice, I think in the episode, cause it was, we talked about it to two different audiences.


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[Assistant] Bryce LK, I was hoping little Albert would come up. I've taken a few psychology classes and that's always stood out because I'm pretty sure that's how you create super villains. If I remember correctly, it was a nurse's baby.


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[Assistant] That she had to bring to work and the psychologist would experiment with him either under the guise of helping to watch him or just sneaking in the experiments when mom wasn't around.


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[Assistant] Say, my babysitter, when I was a kid, she would smoke cigarettes in the... Really? Oh yea. Would you go out there with her and smoke? I'd take a hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She, uh, she'd light mine. She'd give me mine. She'd light hers off, her next one on and just give me her half smoked one. Cause I was a baby. I can't smoke the whole thing. And, uh, we'd sit out there and watch the construction workers go by. Uh, boys work on the stoop.


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[Assistant] She, but that was like, you know, so when I was, I mean, I think I was one or two. I was in, uh, my parents had to work. They just had no money. So they.


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[Assistant] It was her house, right? It was her house.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, in like 80, 81? I mean it wasn't even...


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[Assistant] You wouldn't have even, you would have maybe not wanted me to be a baby to be around the smoke just cause you don't want to, cause you smell like a cigarette the whole time. But I don't think you're thinking of the lungs. You're not thinking about the actual health. Like the health of it. I don't think any of that was on the table then.


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[Assistant] I mean, that was, you know, I've been, I talked about cigarettes a little bit. I like, um, you know, I mean, you shouldn't smoke if you don't smoke, don't smoke, but when you see an old timer still smoking, I'm kind of like, all right, good for you.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're just hanging on, you're like, you just don't see it too much and you're like, yeah man.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You can't be new in smoke. That's crazy. But if you're, if you're old.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah. You've got the good cigarettes. Uh, this is the opposite of good advice, but no one's here.


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[Assistant] Uh, this is where people are going to tell their kids, yea, just do everything they say that's cool. Opposite of that, you'll be in pristine shape.


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[Assistant] Connor Smith, the test about delayed gratification has recently been disproven in multiple other studies.


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[Assistant] The quality of home life and the financial stability of the kids' families were overwhelmingly the determining factor in the success of the children tested.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Well, that's just such a long, like you do that test and you're like, all right, let's see what happens in 18 years. Like it's that long of a, you know, and then you're like, did they do better? And you're like, they did. You know, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. After 18 years, he goes, I don't know, that doesn't make sense. And the guy's like, this is all I've been working on for 18 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the ones that took this stuff slap him and he goes, that's what I would think out of you. Next. That's how he goes. Uh, yeah. He marks it down. Figures. He took the, I don't know if you remember, but he took the marshmallow a little earlier than everybody else. And that shows when he's next.


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[Assistant] He's late for both days. You're like, you only have to work two times in 18 years and you, and he goes, I know, but it's.


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[Assistant] If he makes me believe it'll be me, cause I just forget, you know, that I have to be in that day.


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[Assistant] Still not going, no? No, no. I picked, what if that is, they go alright, you gotta spend your time on a, if you were a psychologist and then you gotta pick one thing to do and this guy was so smart, he picked this. So he's like, I don't, I mean, just the sweetest gig. So I have one hectic day when they're like five.


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[Assistant] And then 13 years later, I just see how they do.


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[Assistant] And then you go, all right, you mark on a calendar, 13 years, 9 AM.


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[Assistant] Uh, Eric Kindred, the Stanford prison experiment was a joke of a psychology experiment actually. The doctor skewed the results by doing things to make them act the way they did. I wonder how most of us still remember it as a legit experiment when it's been long since proven not to be.


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[Assistant] The whole idea of it doesn't sound like it's a good idea.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah, of course. I mean it sounds like a nightmare.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just the idea of the, that they shouldn't be doing it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and you're having to act like a prisoner and so you're like, well, how can we get this moving along?


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[Assistant] What you would have to do, cause the other, that actually makes a ton of sense if the experiment is actually nothing. Cause that means Stanford students are so stupid.


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[Assistant] That they can't, that this guy goes, he gets into Stanford and then you go, now you're a prisoner and he goes, I don't know how to act anymore. And then he just becomes a lunatic.


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[Assistant] Like you, I mean you would need to really like lock them up for a month or something. And I mean they really, they can't, like, they can't, they didn't do that right. They let them leave or something or?


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[Assistant] I mean, over a couple hours, it's like when Dwight pees in the corner of the elevator. Immediately. Immediately. He just, one kid. You gotta establish a pee corner. Yeaah. That makes a ton of sense now.


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[Assistant] What if we hunt a human on TV and, and I mean, some networks like, all right. I mean, if it's, you know, pay-per-view, I think we could do it. Just sign a waiver. I mean, just sending people to prison as just a fun, so people can sit and eat popcorn and watch at night.


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[Assistant] That had A&E written all over it. That's A&E, that's what they're about. A&E's just finding just the mess of people and then just hoarders.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a pretty good dream. You enjoy it, don't you? Jennifer Weiss, no offense, but I'm 100% sure Nate would be one of the guard's beating students. And the students would definitely be Brigadoon. Brigadoon?


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[Assistant] My best first date story involves a guy trying that 30 second question I stare a bit on me. He tried to play it off as something his roommate who was in school for psychology wanted to know. I had happened to read an article about it.


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[Assistant] Before the day, before that day and knew what he was up to immediately, but didn't let on that I knew three hours later after he had asked all 36 questions while sitting in a booth at Topgolf, not hitting golf balls. This is like a new story.


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[Assistant] We walked out to the parking lot to our separate cars and was one and I was wondering when the eye contact would happen. He asked me to sit with him in his car. I couldn't say no knowing what was coming and wanted to see this thing through to the end. So we looked into each other's eyes for four minutes inside his hardtop convertible while I was internally dying.


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[Assistant] Validity. I bet if you gave validity a choice, it would choose validity. Cause it'd be like, I'd appreciate that. Like that's a little more. And you go, no, you're validity. He goes, come on, man. He goes, no one cares about validity. Let me be validity. That's like valid. That's validity is son. Valid too.


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[Assistant] You don't say valed. So he goes valid, he goes perfect, I'm valedidity. And they go, no, you're validity. He goes, that's stupid. Of the claims that those questions make you fall in love, but they sure do make a great story, date story. I think, uh, Bethany sounds like a fun girl. She does.


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[Assistant] It's crazy too to think, she's like, I just happened to read an article about it. And so they're going to Topgolf. It's like on her phone.


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[Assistant] You're just, he's like, I was on my phone and I saw. Like you just wouldn't.


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[Assistant] Before the internet, you wouldn't see that. Right. There's no, like, in my head, I almost...


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[Assistant] If I'm thinking this is an old story, it's crazy that you think you realize that like, oh, people dating have only headphones.


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[Assistant] What would you do, online dating, but once it started online, what would you do before online dating?


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[Assistant] Yeah, Seinfeld has that where she wrote her, well, that's the, on the... Speedo? No. When, uh, the, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Uh, but yeah, that, that is, yeah. Did you do fantasy football where y'all did the box score, right?


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[Assistant] There's something, there was something great about the box score. Like there's something great about waiting the next day. And like, you know, I mean, obviously it's better, but I looked at some box scores this past weekend. Uh, see what's happened.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's funny. Uh, discovery episodes.


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[Assistant] This is the, the comments on that. Neil Curran. Curran.


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[Assistant] Serendipitous science. Nailed that one.


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[Assistant] And it was pretty rough. True story, at the end of the semester, the professor pulled me aside and told me endearingly that I reminded him of his late son. I thought that was nice until my grades came in and I got a C-.


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[Assistant] So maybe the guy didn't care for his son. Maybe so. I guess that's the story.


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[Assistant] Demarie. Demarie, that's a good name.


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[Assistant] No D, so D, let's stop. Let's walk in another room. And then you walk to press the last name Marie. That's how much separation you have to put it in. How you doing? My name's D. Follow me. Let's go in here. Talk about something else. How's the weather? Where are you from? Marie.


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[Assistant] I am a special education teacher in Michigan and Nate, you are a true role model.


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[Assistant] It is inspiring to see an adult has learned to read despite possibly having dyslexia and never knowing you had it.


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[Assistant] Sadly, it may be more common than we think. PS light colored printer paper or colored overlays is a known strategy for dyslexia. Larger print may also help. You're going to see me reading one comment. It's like, I'm a special education teacher in Michigan and Nate, you are a true role model.


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[Assistant] You're like, oh no. That's the, well, we talked about that one, the, when someone says I'll get to that, I'll get to that later. And you're like, oh no, there's going to be a later. We're not even to that.


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[Assistant] I've heard someone say I'll get to that later and they get to it pretty quick, which is kind of funny.


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[Assistant] You're happy that they get to it quick, but then it's like, that's not later. Don't say that.


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[Assistant] You know, don't be like, I'm gonna get to that later, but right now, alright, I'll talk about that.


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[Assistant] And then they get into it, you're like, let's just get into it. I think people put that stuff in there when it's there, that's writing out a speech. So when you write out, it doesn't ever sound, you write.


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[Assistant] Much more like professional, like you, you don't talk like that.


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[Assistant] And so, that's what I always learned with writing comedy. I didn't like writing it out word for word. Cause when I'd write it out word for word, I would have like a lot of jokes in there.


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[Assistant] And I remember even thinking like, oh, these are all good jokes, but then if I tried to say it like that, it was like, this sounds terrible. And even the joke is funny written. It's not funny when I say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you can put more jokes in cause when you look at it, even like when I do a tonight show and you got to type out your set for the lawyers.


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[Assistant] So they have to like for standards and practices, whatever. So they have to approve it. Like you sit there and you'll be, I'll be like typing my set out and A, you see, I'll say like a lot. And then so you see where, how many times you do that. But, uh, you can then be like, Oh, maybe if I added a joke here and you're like, nah, it just doesn't flow like that. You're like, uh, it doesn't work like that.


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[Assistant] Podiatrist. That's how that's spelled? Yeaah. Wow. How would you thank podiatrist to spell?


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[Assistant] I was hoping you were going to say what it is and it would be something I'd never heard of. That's where I was at with podiatrists. I'm a podiatrist. Okay. You wouldn't, you wouldn't go to that.


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[Assistant] Guy. Woody. Do a podiatrist. Podiatrist. Podiatrist sounds so much better. Yeah. I'm a podiatrist. She's like, oh, this guy's a pretty good podiatrist.