[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, they have a weird, their own time zone, which is just 30 minutes different from anybody else. I'll be honest with you, I'm...


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[Assistant] They go Newfoundland. And they consider it a slur to call them Newfies, which I think is hilarious.


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[Assistant] World War I, in World War I, they had the highest percentage of countries of people who died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the British army was like, who are these guys? Like they were controlling Newfoundland and they were like...


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[Assistant] In Canada right now? Yeah. Well I think the main, well that's, I think generation by generation, like my generation is like, why are we still cut there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Queen on her money. Uh, we don't pay them like money or anything like that. I think the main reason historically why it's there is because we need every little thing to separate us from America just because we are, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a very unique thing, like if you're, there's only, there's only two countries, there's only one other instance in the world I can think of it where two countries are as similar. Uh, like Austria and Germany, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the thing about Austria is you are surrounded by a bunch of other tiny little other countries. Like Canada is, shares a border and nobody else with the most powerful, biggest media


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And most militarily powerful country ever. Culturally influential country ever, right? So if you want to keep your own country, you have to like hold on to these rinky-dink little things. Like to me, Quebec doesn't have that problem. They're like, we speak a different language. Newfoundland is like basically, if you, honestly, if you watch a Newfoundland, uh, movie, you need subtitles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it's like, us, it's, it's like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you're like, I had a lot of coffee, maybe I'm rambling, maybe I should shut up. But anyway, so it's like, that's, you know, the historic reason is like, you guys fought a war to leave England, and we were like, well, and like it's almost like a hundred years later, we're like, well if we just wait,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you, and we don't have to die, can you let us go? Yeah. And that's what happened. And they're like, yeah, but you gotta put the, the queen on the money. We're like, yeah, whatever, buddy. Okay, fine. If we don't have to die. How long is that gonna last?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The loonie is one dollar. And then when I was in high school, they came out with a two dollar coin, which has a polar bear on it. And I was always like, well, the loonie is called a loonie because there's a loon on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the two dollar coin came out and had a bear on it. I was like, we should call it a berry. I remember being in ninth grade being like, let's call it a berry. And it just became a toony.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Funny story about polar bears, my buddy told me, he lives up there, the doctor, is uh, say you're like going on like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, out of town or whatever and everyone has a ski-do there. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's how you, that's how you, like, you get around off tr- off the road or whatever. And, uh, if you go, like, if you wanna, like, go have, like, go to the bathroom on, like, like, take a whiz on a snowbank or something, uh, you gotta bring your gun with you. If you're, if you, because a polar bear will track you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're the only bears in the world that hunt people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, you can't see them because they're white and they've, they, they know how, they know that their nose is black and they cover their nose with their paw when they poke their head out to look for you. They look, look over a snowbank and like, like that. And then you're just taking a whiz and then polar bears, ah, and then you're toast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know that monster from the Empire Strikes Back that gets Luke? We have those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was this thing a couple years ago. It was, I didn't want any, it was like a headline in the news. I didn't want any of my American friends to see it. And there was a big maple syrup heist in Canada for like $2 million. It was like national news, big maple syrup heist. I was like, Oh no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's just a regional thing. Like, caddy corner, which sounds insane to me. Yeah? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come here, catty. We're not talking about cats though, we're talking about the house that's- I understand that, but isn't it like a reference to like cats? Kitty corner? No. What a cat. Like as the crow flies? Kitty corner? Oh, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the kitty corner it would go. I have no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you've never owned a cat. They go, they go for days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a very diverse country. We've got a lot of stuff we've contributed to the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I would say that they're like 30% of them resent the rest of Canada pretty deeply. Cause they don't speak French. Well no, cause they feel like they're subjugated in some way. Yeaah. They are, they feel like they're... I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They feel like they're second-class citizens in their own country, which is, I mean, I think that's nuts, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They historically, like they were, I mean, maybe a little bit before, back in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are great people. There's a Tony award winning Broadway play called Come From Away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like the hot the most popular play on broadway past couple years and it's about in nine eleven all the planes got rerouted all these like american flights we had to land in newfoundland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll give you the shirt off their back and they're just very hard drinkers and a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if it's just a, it's just a very different place. Do you know why their time zones just 30 minutes different? Cause they're just out in the middle of the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's, it's different. It's, uh, it's like rocky. It's beautiful. It's, uh, I mean it's all ocean. I mean, I don't know, that's, you could just Google image might be better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, uh, I would Google image Newfoundland. I think you'd get a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brutal. It's brutal. I had an uncle, like a great uncle, and we used to go, I go to his house, I mean he lived in Saskatchewan, and Saskatchewan is brutal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's brutal. And he would either do the national weather and he'd be like, no, wait for Newfoundland. That would always be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 35 and rainy. You know, it's like, it's uh, in the summer, it's very nice. It looks like that. All of those pictures were taken in the summer. Go in July.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go June, July, August. But the rest of the time it's like, uh, 45 and rainy and snowy. Yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. Looks a lot less fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I know. I think about that sometimes. I'm like, what if I just started comedy right out of the gate? Yeaah. When'd you start? Instead of going to school. Instead of going to school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I didn't, even back then I was smart enough to be like, what's the point of this? If you don't want to be, I don't get the point. But uh, yeaah, I started comedy when I was 20.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 26. Which is like about a year, it's like a year too late I feel. Like not too late, but it's like getting late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It adds up, actually. Yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah. You're right on. No, I mean, whatever. You start, you start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's like, there's a comedian in Canada named Todd Graham. No relation, because we have different last names. But, uh, he started when he was 40 and he's one of my favorite comics. He's so funny. He's just, you know, it's like if it eats away at you, it's better to live your life to try it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know what? He makes a bus driver's salary doing comedy, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was my dream. I was, I mean, I remember I, I waited tables and it was, I was a bad waiter, but it's the only jobs I could have that fit around comedy. And I just remember, I, you know, I did it for six years and I was just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I, I, I would, every day I would think about, there's like a Kanye song where he talks about like working at the gap and one day he's gonna make it and I would listen to that song like every morning and be like, one day I'm gonna quit, I'm gonna quit, I'm gonna quit, and then I, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember I was down to two days a week working at a restaurant, this is in Canada, and then I booked an Axe body spray commercial and I booked a comedy tour and I was gone for two weeks and I was looking at my finances like I'm good for the rest of the year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I was like, when I come back from this tour, I'm going to quit. And I, for five, six years in my head, I was like, I'm going to be like, screw you, screw you, screw, you're cool, screw you. I was going to have this big speech in my head I was going to do. I got back from a tour, walked into my restaurant, ready for this big, big speech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You all stink. I walked in there like, oh, you're Graham? We were wondering who that guy was who had two days, like Monday and Tuesday lunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I held off. So just to get them to learn who I was so I could make that big speech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause you're so, you think it's never gonna come and you're so, you're a little insecure. And when you finally do get good enough and make


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like money, living at it, you're, you're like, you're just more secure. You don't need to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it never makes, it's never a good look if you were to like tell them off. You just look like a bitter, you still look insecure. You look like you haven't made it in your own head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has like cicadas up there, huh? I guess so. I've honestly never heard of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a four hour drive north of North Dakota, I'm going to guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell you what, that is not a warm place. Winnipeg, not, and if it's north of there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very similar places. They would probably, if you're living in Edmonton or Winnipeg, you're listening right now, you probably don't agree with me, you're wrong. They're the same. They're very, very similar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just like a small town that's like, we need a tourist attraction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we know you flew here from outer space, but we've built you some stairs. In case you can't get down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did park in a handicapped parking spot, so we're sorry about that. We're right up front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is really sad. I never noticed how much we say it and my buddy comedian, Pat Bercher, just moved to New York from Canada, from Toronto and he's just like walking around the city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Embarrassing me. He's like, Oh, sorry. Like someone will punch him in the face. I'm like, sorry, sorry. So, okay. So like, like someone will, I mean, it's insane. I'm like, buddy, you, no one's going to take you seriously. You gotta like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's uh, it's also I think one of the reasons why it makes us funny. There's like a lot of...


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[Assistant] American comedy is dominated by, uh, like disproportionately, uh, like per capita disproportionately by Jewish people, black people, and Canadians. And it's cause it helps to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An outsider looking in and you completely understand the culture.


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[Assistant] So it's like easy to comment on something you're a little removed from, but you get every single word of that culture. So I think that's one of the reasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's weird. There's a little known fact about that mall is there, they used to have, uh, they got like a giant pool there and they had submarines. You could go like in the submarines. And for a period of time, they had more submarines than the Canadian Navy. An embarrassing fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yuck Yucks? I was at the Yuck Yucks, but the one in the mall I think is Comic Strip.


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[Assistant] Big, uh, big highway. Yeah. I mean, I think everyone has in Canada. I think, I think, uh, cause it's like the, uh, the major, it becomes major highways at certain parts, I feel. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your Christmas? Boxing day? Uh, we call it Christmas. We have the same Jesus, believe it or not, but, uh,


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[Assistant] That is an upgrade, I will say. We did make fun of Canada earlier, but I will say that is an upgrade from Dominion Day. Uh, funny, funny fact, uh, you know, TD Bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Canada basically means Toronto in Canada bank. Yeah. And Boston plays in Toronto in Canada bank arena. What was the original?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was Toronto, Maple Leafs, Montreal Canadiens, Boston Bruins, New York Rangers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, uh, Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Redwings, and I think that's it. That's six. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And who's your team? Ottawa Senators.


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[Assistant] Expansion team in 1992, worst first season in pro sports history.


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[Assistant] We came out the same year Tampa Bay Lightning came out and they were like, we need to get fans so we're going to be good early. And we were like, we're going to be good. We already have fans because we're hockey fans in Canada. So we're going to be bad build through the draft and we're going to win before you, even though we're bad. And we have not won a single cup. They've won two. So pretty sweet.


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[Assistant] We made it to the finals once in 2007 and got slaughtered by Anaheim, another team where there's like 30 people in flip-flops that have never heard of hockey that are watching the game.


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[Assistant] If the, so the, there's only one baseball team in Canada, the Blue Jays. Yeah. If the Blue Jays, if the Blue Jays play. I think the Exposers are still playing. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I actually was an X-Post fan because they're, our Montreal is closer to Ottawa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, awesome. Great logo, so awesome. And should have won the World Series, best record in baseball in 1994, but they had a strike, very sad. Uh, killed the franchise. Anyway, uh, so to answer your question, if Toronto, which is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Close to Buffalo, New York, if you're trying to figure out where it is geography-wise. Plays in Seattle, which is right by Vancouver, West Coast. That's like a five hour flight away. All the fans are Blue Jays fans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's, it's, it's, it's like they come, the players complain. Yeah. Like if, if, uh, if a Seattle fan stands up and like tries to cheer, he'll get booed down because there's, it's all Toronto fans, even though it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because all of Canada cheers for the Raptors and for the Blue Jays. Even though they're, even though they're an hour, they're like an hour and a half drive to Seattle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I'm, I hate the Toronto Maple Leaf. Cause I'm an Ottawa fan, but I love the Raptors. Like, like I almost cried when they won. Like it was, I thought I was going to cry and I did, but I flew up to Toronto.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To, from New York to watch the, the last finals games. Because I wanted to be there. And it was like, it was so incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was so, I remember that when I was a kid. Touch em all, Joe! You'll never hit a bigger one! It was so awesome, I get goosebumps, it was so awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Black Friday. Cyber Mondays. Cyber Monday. Yea, that's our, I mean, and now, I mean, cause this is like, we can't even be our own country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Black Friday is like all in the media in America, like sitcoms. It's just in ubiquitous in popular culture and that bleeds over to us. So now we have Black Friday. It's like, but Boxing Day was our thing. It made sense. You stop, everyone bought your Christmas presents and then after Christmas, everything was cheap because you know, they're trying to sell the stuff. You get deals, but now we have, we have, now we have both and Boxing Day is barely a thing now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're welcome. Oh, is it? Yeah, cause everyone's like, oh, well we already got all the, I already bought everything on Black Friday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's the day after Christmas and it was the biggest day for sales because you, it's like the stores had-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, it's to start, it's like day after Thanksgiving. It's to start the shopping season to kick it off, I guess, was the plan, right? So now, it's like, now we have that, because we can't be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But doesn't it make sense if you're a business to like try and make the most money cause people have to go Christmas shopping and then after you put the sale, after Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like a, it's a British thing. It's like a holdover from the British. Boxing day is big over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the, that's the building that, uh, Drake had his album cover on. Oh, the V from the Six? Yeah. That one? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason why I stopped, I was listening to that, the reason why they stopped having World's Fairs is because like the internet. World's Fairs were so popular back in the days because people were like, they didn't, they were like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I love when people come together. I love that. I love the Olympics for that reason. I think it's like a, maybe it's like a science Olympics for that reason or like a culture Olympics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what is the world's fair then? I think it's like a culture olympics, right? It's like an expo. But you show, you show, you show, you show what your country's producing, right? Oh, we make this here, which is our, you know, look at this telescope we made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because they had the World's Fair, the Expo 1967.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They loved it. My mom would talk about it. She went to the expo and uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all got it on the 100 year. And they put it in the, uh, uh, a province that wanted to separate from Canada. So it's pretty sweet. This is the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the first, uh, Europeans to come to North America was Vikings in Newfoundland. Yeah. It's not that far. Yeah, it's not that far. It's like near Greenland or whatever. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they have, uh, there's like some islands up there that's disputed with Russia, and they have like this one island that, if you look at a Russian map, they call that Canada, and if you look at a Canadian map, they call it, it's a Canada map, or it's part of Canada, and uh, they basically,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's friendly now, but it might not be later, but like Russian troops will come.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Canadian troops will come and what Canadians started to leave, uh, we make rye whiskey in Canada. So we, we started to leave rye for the Russians and now, and then when they come a month later, they pick it up and drink it and they leave vodka for us. Yeah. So it's like a nice little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if we should keep, I don't know if they're doing work, like he said real science stuff. That's, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that Celsius or Fahrenheit? Said Fahrenheit. That's bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I worked, after college I got a job in Budapest, Hungary. And I worked for the Canadian, the Canadian government paid me to work for a private American shipping company that shipped things from the U.S. into Iraqi American army bases in the height of the Iraq war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we had guys that lived in the green zone in Baghdad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little, it's basically, it's like downtown surrounded by water and one wall where it's safe. And the other safe area was Baghdad International Airport and there was a highway, the most dangerous highway in the world at that point in time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, if you, and if you want to go home for R&R from the green zone, you have to go to the Baghdad National Airport and then fly out. And you've been to that airport. And... No, I didn't go there. I flew there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is the military, it wasn't the turkish, you were at, you were there. And, it's, eh, it camped victory is what they called it. Oh yea been there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and then, uh, anyway, so if you, there was something called a rhino bus, and it was a bus that I guess just was heavily armored like a rhino, and you would have four helicopters on either side, and it would just transport people, because there's all these, like, insurgents bumping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then anyway, they, uh, if you miss that bus, you know, you'd have to keep, uh, they give you, you're going to leave in the next three days and you have to keep a bag by your door. And they would knock on your door and go, Rhino bus. You'd be like, ah, and then get up in the middle of the street and like grab your bag. And if you miss that, you'd stay at, you just miss it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just miss your R&R and just stay for like four more months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but yeah, that was a, that was a very interesting job. Guys will come back with like, you know, like one guy on a rhino bus said that one of the helicopters got shot down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that, yeaah, in uhm, in B- in BC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it's a very deep, like, the funny thing about that one is... I don't think that's real. No, well that's... It's the same, uh, almost the same...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dimensions of lake as Loch Ness and it's on the same latitude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's very deep and narrow and it's on the same line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recently. That looks like waves from a, uh, a water ski boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, maybe I'm just going off the top of my head. Maybe the idea is that the ice age melted at that time at the same time because it's the same latitude and a dinosaur is able to survive there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weird. Largest bay in the world, Hudson Bay. Second largest bay in the world, James Bay, which is a part of the Hudson Bay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, one out of five families has a big foot in our family tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, grahamk.com. Uhm, I got a new special on YouTube. YouTube? Graham K. Stupid Jokes. It was only available in Canada. It was put up by Just For Laughs Comedy Festival and then, uh, it's available, uh, to the rest of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have two podcasts, one is about autism awareness called Autastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a brother who has autism and then I got another podcast, Nate just did it, it's called, uh, The Edgelords.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will be, uhm, in, uh, Houston at, uh, go to the Riot, uh, Houston and you can buy tickets. I'll be there. This weekend. This weekend. Yes, this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, uh, this is a big week. So this, this will tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this comes out Wednesday. Tomorrow, uh, uh, my new special, the greatest average American on Netflix comes out, uh, on March 18th. So this week, uh, uh, exciting, uh, week, pretty nervous about it, but we'll see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think no one can do it. Like it's spring break. And so everybody's kind of gone as far as like having a big watch party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, we're going to be out of town. I heard about all the Justice League. Brian Bauchner, uh, uh, texted me and told me about like why they had to move it. It's all kind of sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, yeah, so it comes out this week, uh, yeah, as always, you're always, you're always nervous about them because you're like, I don't know, dude, maybe it's terrible, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, we, I mean, they're nice, all rough cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And it's just, it's just never, you're just like ready for, you know, by the time you tape it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we taped it at the end of October to now. It's just, you always feel like this. You always feel, I don't know. I was, the Tennessee kid, I felt very, very good about, but I was in theaters. I was, you know, leading up to it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I knew it was going to be good. Stand-ups did not feel good about. Oh. So, stand-up season one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, oh, that was awful. It was like, you know, just, I was like, ah, this is going to be brutal. I don't know what's going to happen. All that stuff. And then, uh, yeah, we did great. Tennessee kid, it felt good about, it felt, you know, it was like the lead up to it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost like when they, when you, like, stand-ups is a half hour, so then you kind of feel nervous about that. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and then the Tennessee kid, I felt, I was like, all right, this one will be good. I just, it was destroying on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then The Greatest Average American, uh, which is my favorite title of all the specials. But it's, it's, it's the one that you're back to nervous. I'm like back to nervous again. You're like, I don't know, dude, maybe it's terrible. Just because the setup, I mean, it was just such a weird thing to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, never really got to, you know, I mean, I was on the road with it. I knew, I know the material does good.


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[Assistant] But it's, you know, it's like, would have, you know, could I got it better? Could I have done this? You know, all the things leading up to it, but I don't want to make excuses for it.


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[Assistant] But I, I, I don't, I hope I don't have to, you know, I would never, you know, I hope I'm not like, guys always remember when you're watching it, every, every joke think, well, you know, it is a tough situation. Uh, I chose to, I wanted to put this pressure on, I don't know, it just makes me, I'm just nervous. Uh, but we'll see how it does.


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[Assistant] I've done some interviews and some people that have watched it that they sent, they all said they liked it. I mean not that, I don't, what are they gonna tell me?


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, they're interviewing me and they're like, I didn't think it was that good. Like, yeah, but they can pick up on some stuff that I was like, I love this. And I was like, okay, great. Cause we have something kind of happened during it. Uh,


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[Assistant] That kind of runs through it just for taping outside. And I left, and we left it in and I thought, ah, I think it could be funny. Like it shows, it's, I think it is funny and it shows the realness of what we were doing. We were doing outside, outside taping. Right. So, uh, but yeah, here we go.


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[Assistant] Here we go! And I did, uh, yeaah, gotta get all new stuff, which is impossible.


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[Assistant] You never, as a comic, you're like, how could I ever come up with anything else ever again?


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[Assistant] I feel it every single, I mean then I think back like for the Tennessee Kid special after that I was like how would I, or even up to the Tennessee Kid, after standups it's like how am I going to come up with more stuff. And then the Tennessee Kid, then you're like okay.


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[Assistant] And you always feel like you're barely getting it in, like you barely get it down in time.


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[Assistant] And, uh, and then after that one, you're like, I don't know, dude, how can I ever talk for another hour? And then you do this special. And then, yeah, we're right back at it where, you know, it was this weekend or last week I was doing like 30, I was doing like 25, 30 minutes new. Uh, not all great, some fun.


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[Assistant] Uh, trying to be more fun. Not that I'm not fun, but I want, I love like fun silly jokes. I got one silly joke.


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[Assistant] I haven't done much from the podcast. We talked about that. I need to do it. I feel a little weird. You just worry that the audience has seen it.


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[Assistant] But I need to try some of the stuff that we've kind of come up with the podcast just to see.


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[Assistant] And so March 18th, and that's, that's, that's what, that's the, if, if I can be lucky enough, I mean, who knows Netflix could say no and never want to do another one ever again. Uh, and options always on the table. Uh, but.


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[Assistant] In my head, what I want to do is every two years. And my sixth one with Netflix will be when I'm 50.


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[Assistant] And then, you know, then I, yeah. Not including stand-ups and full-time magic, so I've been like eight.


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[Assistant] And then 10 and then B. No, I don't know. I have no, I have no goals past that. But that's kind of the goal now. Uh, so we'll see. Uh, alright.


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[Assistant] Well, uh, let's get into it. Oh, and your album is at number one. Is it still? Brian's been keeping an eye on it.


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[Assistant] Can you? Yeaah, every yeaah. Yeaah, I mean you should. That's, you legitimately are number one in iTunes. I had, when I was number two, like I wrote that. Like, it might still be in my bio. Uh, but it was, uh,


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[Assistant] It did, it was like good, like you always put something like that in. That's a good, uh, little thing to have on there. You know, it's like this guy had the number one album on iTunes. You know, it's a good, good credit. So yeah, put it in the bio. Get you a couple more.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Way to come through guys. Number two. He's getting mad at them. Uh, I think I brought my best and I think you guys could have brought your best. I did my part y'all. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, so here we go, starting the comments. Cindy Cra- oh man. Cindy Kreitzer Frazier. Kreitzer Frazier. Is that her real name? Cindy Kreitzer.


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[Assistant] Then hit the road, Jack wouldn't even go out. Uh, she met a lovely man. Uh, my name's John Smith. Oh, how you doing, John? Well beat it. You loser. I'm a Zara girl.


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[Assistant] Nate, you need to go out of town more often and come home tired. Today's podcast on the Old West was one of the best. You guys were hotter than a bowling pot of Donner parts. Bowling pot of Donner parts.


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[Assistant] Sounds like, I mean, the future when we're just numbers. Like that's what we're going to be. Like they, they just, uh, they yell that and then they shoot you in the head. This is the worst episode you have ever done.


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[Assistant] Nate is completely not interested in the Wild West. The fact that he has never even seen a John Wayne movie and doesn't appear to even know who he is is shocking. I know who he is. I don't know how I appeared. I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to give that appearance. It goes, I wasn't, you know, it was like John Wayne was behind me.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know if westerns are my thing. I mean, I'm not the most biggest superhero, uh, movie guy. I go watch the big ones, but it's not like I'm obsessed with it.


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[Assistant] That was, uh, man, they come over sometimes so low.


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[Assistant] Uh, I was very tired last week, so I did feel that. So I apologize for that. I, I, uh, you know, it was, I was like, uh, well, you know, I was, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a long, which is no one's fault but mine, but it's a long couple weeks. Uh,


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[Assistant] And, uh, yeah, I do know John Wayne. I've not watched any Westerns. Uh, I enjoy talking about the Wild Wild West, but yeah, uh, it is, I mean, maybe it is the worst episode. You've seen the Wild Wild West. That was the one you'd seen.


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[Assistant] John Wayne Gacy is, but who the, uh, John Wayne wasn't a good guy. What do you think is that? And I think it's John Wayne Gacy. Well, I would hope, I'd hope so. All right. I hope I don't appear that I like him. And they're like, no, no, it's a, come here. They had to pull me over and they come here for a second. I'm like, what's up?


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[Assistant] Matthew Gerber, bacon bits is taking whistle while you work to a whole new level.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, a lot of, a lot of, you know, I mean, I brought it up, I think at the beginning, I was trying to correct it. Maybe we could bring it up privately next time. Uh, but, uh, there's always an option to, no, this isn't live, so we could just, uh, edit it out.


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[Assistant] But, uh, I think, uh, I think Brian, uh, has, and wants to make a statement.


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[Assistant] I think we got, uh, so I'll introduce you to the statement. So, uh, as you listened last week, you know that we had some issues, uh, and, uh,


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[Assistant] Got some pretty close. Yeah, I got some angry. Yeah. You would have got the, you know, the, in your interview, you'd be like on 60 minutes, but like, did you get death threats? You're like.


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[Assistant] Their next step was a death threat. It was, I didn't get death threats, but the next step.


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[Assistant] They actually might give a death threat to someone now because they've opened the door to go, well I went after breakfast so hard. Yeaah. But no death threat.


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[Assistant] I think I want to do a death threat. And then they come out next.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You sound great, man. That's what it was. We thought it was the wiring, but maybe it was just Claritin.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. It's, uh, yeah. Don't worry about it. We're back.


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[Assistant] I was tired, you know, we're trying to give everybody a break from the podcast.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, that's funny. I mean, look, that's tough. Yeah. What are you gonna do? We tried to, yeah. What do we got that we could edit it out? The whole show? Your face is blurry.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. I like that one. Uh, all right. Welcome back. This is a whole new you. We love you, Brian.


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[Assistant] Seth Buchanan. So my wife is nine months pregnant and I'm about to go on paternity leave. I thought paternity is a weird word. I always thought paternity. Is it not, Phil? Sure.


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[Assistant] Oh, I'm about to go on paternity leave? So the dad says that? So my wife is 9 months pregnant and I'm about to go on paternity leave? So a dad would say that and he gets, he gets paternity leave?


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[Assistant] Uh, naternity. Brian's on the naternity leave. Uh, what's that? It's a whistling nose. He'll be gone for about two weeks.


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[Assistant] I don't think I've ever thought about it at all. I thought, I just don't think I've ever even questioned it. I didn't know that the husband gets to go on paternity. I didn't know he also gets to leave. You missed out when Harper was born.


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[Assistant] I mean, I was, I was always on paternity leave. My whole career has been on paternity leave. Uh, alright.


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[Assistant] I thought, why not get a new game to play during the off time? So I saw Red Dead Redemption 2 on PS4 was 30% off and bought it.


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[Assistant] Now that it's spoiled for me, spoiled for me, I guess it's back to NCAA 14. Thanks a lot college boy. Did you skip your friendship class that day? Love the show. We'll mute Aaron's parts from now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the main one, the main ending, uh, maybe we'll get lucky and get one of the other random, no one gets ending.


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[Assistant] Uh, Katie Denny, Nate, you often say you're, you were too dumb for college, but I actually think you're plenty smart. I think most people are smart enough to make it through college if they apply themselves. It does, however, require you to attend class, even if you don't want to learn how to keep score in bowling. Yeah, attending class is gigantic. That is one of the main things.


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[Assistant] That was one of the, that was the one of the harder things. It was, I was at, you know, the semester of Western Kentucky, it's a straight up a hill. And so you're, we, our dorms are at the bottom and then you have to go to the walk to the top. I mean, that just, no one was going, like you were like, I'm not going to that. They're very easy to not go to class.


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[Assistant] Mike McCannily, I sit on an advisory board for the marketing department at the university I graduated from. Though we are a state school with state funding, you'd be amazed at how much of our focus is just on how to bring in more money.


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[Assistant] We spend so little time focusing on education and opportunities that we can provide students that I have become very disheartened in the education, in the idea of higher education.


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[Assistant] I even suggested that we stop requiring students to take classes such as oil painting. I can't even say the word. Oil painting and racquetball to earn a marketing degree.


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[Assistant] But the reasons I was given for why these exist was purely because we can require them, which increases total tuition paid per student.


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[Assistant] And when you look at how much the cost of tuition has increased over the years, while the actual education a student gets has remained the same. Something is definitely wrong, and it's a bummer.


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[Assistant] I love that. Look who's back. I mean, people got upset. I never really.


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[Assistant] People never get upset at the stuff I say, which did I, it was funny. Did I talk about the context of that video that we put out last week? I didn't talk about that, right? Well, you talked about how some people were upset. People were upset, but it was very funny.


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[Assistant] To the video I posted, uh, with Aaron about that was like, it was the whole context of it. It looked like I was attacking students and that, and that did look like that and I'm not attacking students.


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[Assistant] Uh, but it's funny to be like, why can't you, I'm like, well, it took me out of context. The video did. I posted the video. Like, which is very funny to be like, you took it out of context. I'd like you'd be like, dude, the media is taking me out of context. You're the, you're, you're media.


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[Assistant] That you need to watch the whole video. It was extremely funny to do that. It made it look like I am not attacking students at all.


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[Assistant] Uh, I, I have, I am confused on what an endowment is. These schools have these giant endowments. Harvard is $40 billion. You could do, you could make 40 other Harvards for people to go to.


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[Assistant] Just around the country, you could be like, let's, we think you need to know our education, so we're going to use this endowment. It should, your endowment should always be close to zero. Like usually, we are using it to make, right? Is that what endowment is?


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[Assistant] Okay, which makes sense. And you want it to be...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I just, it's, they keep raising prices. Schools are getting stupid expensive.


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[Assistant] You know, and then they always are just raising money. This college is always, you know, we need to do football stadium. Let's go raise some money. Like how much can you ask of your alumni?


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[Assistant] They went there and you're like, so I gotta, that's the one thing I, you know, I guess I do enjoy of not going to college. No one calls me and asks me. I don't have to, I don't, do you have another name to ask? They do.


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[Assistant] Well, they always ask and if you become just mega rich, I mean, you're just like, oh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, when everybody does that. I understand giving to the college, but I just don't understand. It seems these colleges have a lot of money.


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[Assistant] Some of them. Yeah. And so I don't, why do you keep, that's crazy to keep asking the students. They're doing fine without my donation. Yeah. But it's like, that's, you know, it's like, it doesn't make sense to the, you gotta keep asking, like you keep going, can we have more money? And you're like, what are you doing, dude? Like give, go, I don't know. Like it doesn't make, there's gotta be, these colleges have a lot of money.


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[Assistant] I think, uh, but yeah, I also don't know at all. Just seems.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so someone that's an outsider hears that, we do think.


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[Assistant] You know, because that's what someone else said, they're like, you know, where everybody takes roads, so no one, you know, but not, I'm not going to be allowed to go. I can't, Notre Dame's not letting me go there.


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[Assistant] They're just not. I'm not, I don't have the grades. I'm not smart enough. And because I wasn't good at education, I wasn't good at taking tests. That wasn't my thing.


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[Assistant] And so, but so I don't get the option to go. Like I don't, Notre Dame's not like, well, we also set aside some, you know, dummies that want to go.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they should bust in some dummies. They should, every school should be like, we have a hundred scholarships that are just for losers that barely made it to high school, but we want to change their life. And we think that they should, they deserve a chance. Maybe they didn't do good in high school for whatever reason, but they get another chance. Right? It said, I don't get that chance. Just have a hundred every school. We do a hundred scholarships. You're an idiot.


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[Assistant] That's the guy we're talking to. You should set up a fun like that at Vanderbilt.


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[Assistant] Not being braggy. That's what we're looking for. Just someone that's like, it's not like,


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[Assistant] Book smarts are not his thing. Right. Like it's not clicking.


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[Assistant] But, but they're, but they're smart in other ways. And you just get, man, mix those guys in.


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[Assistant] Mix those guys and girls just to have them just, I mean.


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[Assistant] And that's how you can tell. He's just walking around, just...


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[Assistant] And you can't tell them no. They're allowed to smoke, that's what I would allow. If they want to smoke cigarettes, they can get to smoke cigarettes. We're trying to help them out.


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[Assistant] My two favorite podcasts collided today. It made me wonder if Nate could share on an upcoming podcast all the shows he's been interviewed on recently in promotion of the new special so all the folks can know where to catch more of his humor and antics that are so welcomed in these strange times. I can't wait for Thursday's Netflix release. Uh, so, uh, yeah, what if I, uh,


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[Assistant] I don't know if I'm allowed to say some. You're know about one. I'll post them. You just did Ryan Roscillo again. Did Ryan Roscillo again. Bustin' with the boys. Bustin' with the boys. Did you do Burt Crusher? They just did Burt's. Nice. Uh, we talk a lot about golf on Burt's, so don't head over there if you're, you know, I'll give you a heads up. Uh,


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[Assistant] Uh, I, I, I, man, I forget. I'll have to look and I have to, I cannot remember. But you got some more coming up. I got more coming up and so you'll know about some, you'll hear about that I'm going to do. Uh.


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[Assistant] 29th or 30th. That's cool. Nice. And then, uh, yeah, doing Access Daily. It's like Access Hollywood. Okay. It's like, uh, I got that next week. I'm doing Barstool Sports again, Wednesday. Uh, Aaron Land?


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[Assistant] Aaron Land, I'd love to come on. I mean, I think I'm on in the background a lot. I'd love to be a focal point of Aaron Land. Send me a tape.


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[Assistant] I will. Uh, so yeaah, and I, I can't think off the top of my head. But, uh, I have a big one.


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[Assistant] And I just don't know when it's gonna come out, so.


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[Assistant] Uh, oh. Alright, let me get, alright. So that was the last. Alright, Robert, I am actually a descendant of one of the families that was in the Donner Party. No way. The Breen's. That's crazy.


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[Assistant] Patrick Breen is my great great great great grandfather and his journal is the only surviving written account from a party member as it was happening. The Breens and the Reeds were the only families to not lose a family member during the ordeal and our family has always proclaimed that the Breens did not resort to cannibalism. Dude, that's crazy. I know.


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[Assistant] That's, that's unbelievable. The descendant of one of the families that was in the Donner party that brings. Wow. Wow, dude. That's so wild. Yeah. Huh? Look at it. And look, look at it. It's all coming together. Yep. And our family.


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[Assistant] And he just gets furious at him like, are you crazy?


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[Assistant] No, I won't smile. Say cheese. No, I will not. No. I'd love some cheese. I am dead inside. Uh, you look over there, Don Donner sizing your camera guy up.


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[Assistant] Are they, I like to do their family, like just constant, like how many times do they have to go, we did not resort to cannibalism. Just as a statement, as a family, you have to always just kind of say it. Like you bring it up. Just a lot of statements that you got to make. Yeah, we were there. No, we were there.


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[Assistant] The, our family did not resort to cannibalism. We held out as we said the donors should have. And honestly, I think the donors always wanted to do cannibalism to be honest. If you ask me.


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[Assistant] I was trying to keep the joke going. You know, uh, Ben Tucker, I'm distantly related to the Donner party on my mom's side. My grandma's maiden name is Donner. I can confidently say that I haven't felt any cannibalistic urges.


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[Assistant] Gets less and less funny every year. I mean, how do you not, you know, that's tough. That's what the donors left you is, I mean, man, two people related. That's crazy. Uh, yeah, that's, uh,


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[Assistant] Distantly related to the Donna party. Wow. That's pretty wild. I mean, that's how do you, yeah. What have you done? I mean, everybody hears, how did they tell you that?


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[Assistant] I think political correctness is all thrown out the window once you start eating people. I think you don't, you know, it's pure survival up there. Like it's a, it's a war. You don't go, that's not, that's not, you know what, as you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Jill Donner doesn't go, Jim, I think we should honestly eat someone in our family cause it's looking bad. And Jim's like, what do you think this is? We're eating people.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's good. They had to go, yeah. Uh, imagine the jokes, if Ben Tucker's still hearing jokes, imagine the jokes those kids are. Like, I mean, like, uh.


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[Assistant] Matt Oregon, my 10th grade English teacher taught us that on a- on a mon- on a- what is it? On a monop- On a monop-


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[Assistant] That felt like I was like trying to jump over and not fall in the water hearing that word. Rhythmical. Rhythmical. Like I just go, like trying to cross a creek and not get my feet wet. You got to kind of, the last one's a little bit farther in my, I'll get there. Rhythmical word in the English language.


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[Assistant] When we asked her what the first most rhythmical word was, she responded without missing a beat, gonorrhea. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, rhythmical. I don't think, you know, my family, we've never said the word rhythmical. Just didn't, you know.


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[Assistant] Never came up. Never, you know, I don't think it was bounced around. Uh, maybe. Maybe it was. Maybe my family can all say it. You know, they all went to, uh, my mom or my dad and my


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[Assistant] Brother went to college with my sister.


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[Assistant] And my brother-in-law teaches at a college. So, he's an adjunct professor. He is. He's an adjunct professor at college. So, uh.


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[Assistant] Manna Acosta Robles. Robles. Manny. Manna. Manny. Manny Acosta Robles. Robles. Acosta Manny Acosta Manny. How you doing Manny? Let's go with Manny.


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[Assistant] Justice League was originally by Zack Snyder, but his daughter committed suicide during the filming, so he stepped down and Joss Whedon took over. Many felt the version Whedon made was horrible, rushed, many changes to the story and things taking out. Zack Snyder, who did his own cut of the film, did it for free, I believe, and finished the film this way. That's why it's being re-released. Makes a ton more sense.


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[Assistant] Makes sense. Thank you, Manny. Thank you, Manny. I approve it. Manny and Balkner texted me that too.


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[Assistant] Cocktail MD, shaving haircut, was used by POWs in Vietnam to make sure a new person on the other side of the wall was American.


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[Assistant] They tapped the first part and only Americans would know to tap two bits since it was, since it wasn't well known to the Vietnamese. That's a tough one. Vietnamese? Vietnamese. Vietnamese. I would, I mean, that's a word that sounds like, it's, you know.


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[Assistant] I don't know how to speak, dude. Trust me, I promise you, that did not, I did not mean like that. Look, get Bartholomew over here. See? You think I'm making fun of that guy? No, I just don't know how to say these words. Rhythm of McCall.


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[Assistant] I always thought a modern version would be up, up, down, down, and they know left, right, left, right. That's pretty good. That's fine. That would be a modern version. It'd be our version who he's talked about it at dinner parties. You've never heard it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Up, up, down, down, left, right. Yeah. You would not know. So we'd go up, up, down, down and you would go, what would you think you would say?


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[Assistant] It's not the end of the world. And then they, and truly they would go, we're mad. It shouldn't have happened. We are sleeping terrific. No, I'll be honest with you.


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[Assistant] One of yours in, Brian Bates to do an interview with you and they go, that's it? I thought you'd go waterboard me. They're like, no, that's it. Just Brian Bates is going to interview and then he just sits down and he goes.


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[Assistant] He'll talk. I can't whistle right now.


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[Assistant] Constantly stepping on the words of Beethoven and Notre Dame and talking over them. But throughout the episode, Nate slowly loses interest and talks less and less until that moment comes where he hasn't spoken for several minutes and inevitably says, all right, is that about it? We're almost done. Love the show. Keep making us all laugh.


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[Assistant] I agree. And that feels like, and that, guess what in the comments? That is it. Uh, yeaah. Last week I was tired. But I do get, uh, you know, gotta keep it compelling.


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[Assistant] And it's hard, you know, uh, I can't do everything myself.


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[Assistant] So, we, we got a guest, uh, coming up this week. We're going to talk about the, uh, lovely state of Alabama. There it is. Another state.


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[Assistant] Another state with, uh, our, uh, very funny, uh, uh, fellow Nashville comedian from Alabama, Dusty Slay. All right. All right. My wife is from Alabama. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Not on the episode. And Aaron's from Alabama. So we had enough and then my wife, she said, I would like to do it. I said, I think, I think we've done enough. Uh, I think you've been on enough. No, my wife is, they went to, uh, they're at, uh, Universal.


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[Assistant] Uh, Florida, yeah, right now, they, that's, they sent me a picture. You have to wear a mask there the whole time. And I think, and Disney's like, Universal Disney, they, they are on it. Oh, really? Like they're, I mean, that's their, like, you know, Disney's, Disney's an unbelievable place. It's really, really, have you been to Disney World? No, never been. Have y'all, have you been? I've been, yeah.


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[Assistant] That's, uh, that's, yeaah. Uh, I could have went with it. Oh, it started in 82.


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[Assistant] Yeah. All right. Cause I was gonna say, did I, I don't know if I saw it too. We went.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I don't remember. I've actually been a few times now, just cause I'm now traveling so much, I'll end up being near it. And so my daughter's actually, I have a joke about it, but uh,


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[Assistant] They're, they're on you about the mask. Like, I mean, that's their, they just walk around. I mean, you just, it's not like you could be like, there's a lot of people, I'm sure you're probably pulling it down, walking around trying to, and someone pops up and is like, Hey, put your mask on and then you have to do it.


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[Assistant] That was a big, uh, that would have been a big one to get. Disney World?


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[Assistant] Man, that would be a big contract to get.


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[Assistant] What, uh, what were y'all talking about? Like when y'all have a sales meeting, y'all go to a sales, you're like, all right, this year we're going to do more weed stuff.


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[Assistant] That like already from that, just thinking that that's what you were thinking about while they were talking, having serious talk about weed stuff. Oh yeah. If they would have ever known that they would have been like, well, just quit now. Cause you're, cause you're like, I'm going to quit. Oh yeah. I've just got to find that, you know.


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[Assistant] I would be that guy, probably though, if I was into weed. Like if that was my thing, I would be way like, oh, we're getting a new, we ain't trying to go tell your wife that, you know, we might as well just go all in.


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[Assistant] And so that, uh, is that what they, do they? Well, that's the UPC.


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[Assistant] So you got, you have to go in and fix it. Like you gotta correct, make sure it's all set up properly. Yeah. Oh yeah. So it's not like it's the stock people are doing that. You have to go do that. Oh yeah. They'll do it, but it'll be bad when they do.


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[Assistant] So they're like, go, so your constant job is to go to these stores and make sure, so when you see product at stores, that means like the sales people, that's what they're having to go do.


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[Assistant] I like, if someone's just turned into this, they're like, well, I guess they're interviewing a weed killer. That's what it sounds like.


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[Assistant] Could you tell grass on a golf course? I know you don't watch golf. Nah, probably not like that. Like Bermuda grass, you know that.


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[Assistant] Like where some guys would, yeah, they know, in golf it's very much people know the grass. It's pretty crazy. I don't know the grass, but they're like, what kind of fairways you got? And they're like, I don't know, Georgia or. Oh yeah. And it's a different, but it's, uh,


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[Assistant] Like when I just played in Arizona, I want to see someone at Georgia. It was very nice. And it was like the, that's where you hit and the divots, like it's this.


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[Assistant] I, and I, if I'm, if I'm right, and then, uh, it's very thick divots. It's where you see on TV where the divot flies up, they call it a pancake. It looks like a pancake lands ahead. And it's like, you just, I mean, you just cut into the grass. It's the greatest filling alive.


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[Assistant] Is, uh, just, you know, and then they have Bermuda, I think is tighter grass, maybe. And so it's like a little bit, the fairways are just tighter, tighter cut, I guess. And, uh, maybe harder. I don't.


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[Assistant] Yeah, which is the truth. It is, you know, it is true. Uh, so, uh, Alabama, uh, I mean, we're, I feel like we're already in it, talking about it. You know, I'm talking about weeds. It's, it's, it's how I pictured the episode would go.


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[Assistant] Is that, you moved, you, uh, where were you born?


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[Assistant] But automobile is nice, or is it, or like if you get to the, the Gulf Shores, there's areas that are, Gulf Shores, Alabama. There's some really nice areas down there, yeaah. Really nice areas down there, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Like it's a place to be. And so you, you grew up, I know you can talk about your acts,


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[Assistant] Was it, uh, do you ever remember seeing anybody early, like big, like stone cold every year? Would you ever remember that? I don't think so.


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[Assistant] Cause it was like, those earlier, you ever watch, I read Stone Cold's book, which is, I don't know, I probably talked about it, it's very funny. I read it, I hate that I read his book. But his book is read, it's how I should read a book though. It's a lot of like, let me tell you something. And then I went over, I mean, there is, Rhythmical was not used once in that book. And I mean, I flew through it. I was like,


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[Assistant] What a quick read! Which is very tiny words. Uh, but he started in, uh, wrestling in those circuits. They would go to Memphis a lot, but like those kinds of things.


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[Assistant] Where you would see those people come through and, uh, you know, then they become, I mean, he becomes the most famous person alive, you know, which is pretty, the rock going through that kind of stuff. Pretty crazy.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Well, we didn't watch wrestling, uh, I would see it on TV. I remember watching it younger where they, it was a big back then where you'd have the matches like, you know, Saturday, Hulk Hogan would wrestle like a guy.


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[Assistant] You know, it was just, that was, you would get to see Hulk Hogan, but it's not a, they actually did it, I think in a good way in the fact that you, to see the big events, it was pay-per-view.


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[Assistant] Like, and in the regular events, you would have, then Monday Night Raw was like, all right, you see, there'd be a couple.


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[Assistant] Someone, uh, someone would know a guy that was one of the regular guys and they would always be like, Oh, I know a wrestler. You're like, Oh, what's his name? Like a Brandon Bale. I don't know. I'm making that up. And you're like, Oh, he's one of the guys that.


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[Assistant] You know, just has like red trunks lose it. Oh, and you're like, oh, but that was like a guy to know. And you're like, wow, that's pretty cool. He's on, you know, it's like knowing a Washington Senator.


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[Assistant] Like the, was that the Harlem Globetrotter? The generals. The generals. Yeah. The Washington generals. You're like, I know a guy that plays professional basketball. And you're like, oh, that's cool. I would rather meet a guy from the Washington generals.


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[Assistant] One guy played at Memphis and I remember hearing about him, he played college in Memphis and he could jump, I mean he could like touch the top of a backboard.


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[Assistant] And uh, I think those guys go there, like if you can't make pro,


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[Assistant] Then you're like, if you get into that, it's not a bad gig. And that's the Harlem Go Trotters are just a wonderful.


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[Assistant] I think it would not get serious. Cause then they couldn't do all the crazy stuff. Cause it would be, it would be like two. I think they have played each other. Look at them and see if they've ever won. I almost think the Washington Generals have won a game. And then I think they've even played, cause the Washington General is not like they're bad, they're very good.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a fun, uh, homegirls are great. Did they lose?


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[Assistant] Like what happened to that day?


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[Assistant] So I wonder, are they trying to like somewhat, yeah. I mean, how would you, you'd much rather talk to a guy that plays on them to be like, what are y'all trying to do? Do you just, are you like, yeah, we let them.


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[Assistant] When they're out there dribbling forever, we just let them do it. I mean, there's nothing called when you go, well, a guy touched the ball that was in the rafters, so I guess we're not calling out of bounds this game.


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[Assistant] What's his face? Jim Carrey played him in the movie. Andy Kaufman. But Andy Kaufman and then who was his alter ego? Tony Clifton. Tony Clifton. Tony Clifton would be like a Washingtonian. Like he does not want to ever do good. He wants to be remembered. Neil Hamburger is like that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, always, but people like Neil Hamburg. So maybe even more like that.


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[Assistant] There is just going to be three times.


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[Assistant] Hard, I guess they, they were that game.


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[Assistant] I would, I think I would love it to be at a game where it'd be great as a comedian to say the only Harlem Go Tarts game I went to is they lost. That'd be, and to have that story. But if you, if you went to that game, you would tell like, this has never happened. So it's good. It's better than saying I went to watch them, is I went and saw them lose.


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[Assistant] That'd be a ticket you could sell. You could sell that on eBay.


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[Assistant] Someone would buy that ticket over anything else. Right? Yeah. So children cry.


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[Assistant] If you're after the fact and you go, what's so special about this date? And you go, if I would hang up a ticket to go like, they're like, you went to the Harlem Go Tartars in 1971. I'm like, actually that's a ticket from the first game that Washington, uh, generals won. Yeah. People were like, oh wow. Isn't that more of a collector's item? That would be really cool.


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[Assistant] So, uh, alright, Homegrown Charters, weed killing, we're in it!


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[Assistant] It's kinda highfalutin with your uniforms, you know, stuff like that.


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[Assistant] I had the same, uh, my football experience. I only played it very little bit. And I kind of quit, like, I mean, I love sports and I play a ton of golf now, but I was like the same way with, uh, once the kids got bigger and like were taking it more serious and I wasn't, I was like, oh, I'm going to get hurt.


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[Assistant] Like it's like when you go from 12 to third, like 12 year old baseball, was you're still pitching on that, on the mound that's a smaller field, the little league field. And those kids are close.


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[Assistant] And then 12 year, 11 year olds are not throwing hard. 12 year olds, they start throwing the ball, dude. And you're so close to them that you're kind of like, it was, you're like, all right, then I remember going to 13 year old league where the mound moves back.


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[Assistant] And then that was like my greatest, that was my home run off of walk that didn't count. Joe was a 13 year old. And, uh, that was the best because the.


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[Assistant] It was like, they couldn't, the kids weren't strong enough to throw it hard yet. So I, and you're, and then your second base, I played second base and you're far away from the ball. It was like, I don't know. I was like petrified of getting just hit in the face with this baseball.


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[Assistant] And then 14 year old was like, oh, kids are back to serious and they're really throwing some B. And then I was like, then that's when I was kind of like, all right, I'm out.


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[Assistant] I remember this guy, Jeremy Lyons, that went to our school and he, uh, was, played in college, couldn't play pro, wasn't the best athlete I've ever seen. But I remember playing baseball against him when I was 12 years old.


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[Assistant] Just cause we were all grew up in the same town and it was, it looked like at 12, it looked like your dad was in center field. He was just enormous. I mean, just to see, I mean, he had legs, just enormous legs and you're just, we look out there and you're like, is he supposed to be out there?


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[Assistant] I think we would do better now, cause now they're very more sensitive to kids getting hurt. We came up in an era where the rules were off. We had the same thing, uh, where they did... Bull in the ring? Bull in the ring.


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[Assistant] So I remember doing Bowling Ring and playing with Old Hickory Bulldogs and, uh,


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[Assistant] Oh yea? And so, and then, so they, uh, are we, they, you have a single stripe or a double stripe. This was like probably 11 years old. Uh, single stripe, double stripe. So if you weighed too much and you were a double stripe, you had to play the offensive line.


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[Assistant] So the big kids that were like on the line, they would make them run laps with trashcans, with trash bag trashcans, with trash bags on them to lose weight because they got under the weight. It's like cutting weight. They could play running back. They could play running back.


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[Assistant] Cause he, cause he, cause he lost just enough weight to do it. So like, that's when you're like, well, that's not.


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[Assistant] Well I, so I was bowling the ring, so you, the idea of it, you, you stand in the middle, the team's around you in a circle, and you just make circles, and he just yells out numbers, like 25, and if you're 25, you gotta run, and you just boom, boom, you guys hit it, but you don't know where they're coming from.


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[Assistant] He's just yelling out people. So I remember doing it in, uh, when I played when I was like, I don't like this at all. And what I would do is I'd always break my own helmet and then be like, I can't get this stupid helmet. And I'd go off to the side and try to fix the helmet the whole time of playing bull in the ring. Cause I did not. Oh, is that.


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[Assistant] And you had to read some ads for Aaron Land. They've started their own podcast. It airs during this podcast.


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[Assistant] So, they, yeah, so you, but I remember I was like, I don't want to do this at, it was insane. And I was like tiny. And I'm like, and the coaches would want, first time I ever heard, I think someone curse was one of my football coaches.


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[Assistant] And this is how I played for the Donaldson Warriors. I played two years. And then, uh, and they, he would always call me Nat.


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[Assistant] And so I picked my number, I was, so we played for the, uh, Donaldson Warriors. So we had their colors of the Washington Redskins or the Washington football team. Uh, which I actually liked the name of the Washington football team. I actually don't mind it. I actually really do like it.


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[Assistant] I actually think they should. I like the uniform. I like the numbers on the side of the helmets and I actually like WFT, Washington football team. It just kind of feels very old. That's a very old franchise. And so it feels very old school to me that they do it. I don't know.


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[Assistant] I honestly don't think they should. And uh, you know, not trying to be politically correct about any of it. Like, it's just, I'm saying I like that name better than even the Redskins.


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[Assistant] I was trying to do a joke about it. I feel like the joke's been done, but it's like that because it is ridiculous to be as a grown man. You're, you know, you're like, who are you guys going to go watch? The Ravens. The Ravens are playing the Redskins. Let's name them all the football team. Yeah. It's like they should all be the Tennessee football team. And then you're cheering for your state, you know, uh, let's change the football.


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[Assistant] So, when I played for the Warriors, I wanted, I was a big Art Monk fan. And they had Gary Clark, no, I'm sorry, I was a Gary Clark fan. And I think he was number 84. And so, or 82, 82 or 84. And, uh, 84, yeaah.


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[Assistant] And so I wanted, I was like, Oh, so you got to go pick your Jersey. And I was like, I'll be Gary Clark's my favorite football player. I go, I'll be Gary Clark. And I go, uh, number 81.


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[Assistant] And then I just had to become a big Art Monk guy. I had one interception against, uh. Alright, look at that. That's a real career. Real career. One interception and they said the other kid's name cause they thought what had to be. We had one kid that was really good. So they just said it was him that did the interception cause they just assumed it. Cause there's no way. And we played this school, UNA.


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[Assistant] Uh, which is Samirna, which, uh, Sonny Gray, he gave me those bats. He played for Union. They were the best. They were, they were the best team.


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[Assistant] So your brother-in-law came to your kid high school games?


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[Assistant] So how is your sister, how much older is she?


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[Assistant] If you had a kid already, she would be an aunt. You'd have a kid. Like in high school.


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[Assistant] She would be older than her aunt. Yeaah. Wow, that'd be something.


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[Assistant] I want people listening not to think we're trying to drum up some Alabama stories. These are natural conversations that are happening. Two guys from Alabama. This just gets pulled


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[Assistant] Laura went to, my wife went to, uh, she went to a college, which I need to ask her more because I don't need to do a joke about it, but she went to her first college she went to was in a mall. And it was like, she was like taking.


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[Assistant] She just said she remembers just taking these classes and being like, you know, I'm learning about history next to...


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[Assistant] You know, a nail salon, like penny shoes or something like that. You're hearing people walk around shopping at a mall. Where's that at? Uh, she was living Huntsville. Okay. And so in Huntsville and, uh, so yeah, Alabama is, I go down there all, I have to go down there all the time now. I don't think I went a ton growing up, but I, and they're the most now.


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[Assistant] Uh, cause our, we have my brother-in-law in, uh, Birmingham, uh, and so, uh, yeah, we're, they're all, they're all down.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you get the, you were never too far from that experience.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Tennessee's got, we're, I feel like Nashville's a little, not, you can go, there's, you leave Nashville and you're in.


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[Assistant] Same places as Alabama. It feels like maybe all of Alabama is like that kind of rural kind of feeling where Tennessee, Nashville, you know, I grew up in that, growing up here, but when I moved to Chicago, I was like, oh, we're, we're a Southern.


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[Assistant] So you got, and that's when, I mean that's when lead poisoning was your biggest fear as a kid.


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[Assistant] How is it, growing up in trailer park, is it just, uh, I mean it was normal. It was great.


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[Assistant] Uh, is it, I think I would like a trailer park too.


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[Assistant] Man, as a kid, you just don't, just to think about how much you don't want to shower, like, they just, like even my daughter, who,


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[Assistant] They just wants to play and they can go to school. They never feel gross.


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[Assistant] You know, like I, I can take two showers a day. Like you just are like, I feel gross and I want to take a shower. And they just, as a kid you're, yeah, you go and you're like, you're going to, you're sweating all day. They don't care.


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[Assistant] Not wearing deodorant, it doesn't matter, you don't, you know, uh, the other day, when we went sledding, when it snowed that week, my daughter, hair, she had ice in her hair.


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[Assistant] And so, uh, cause it was just so cold. That's how cold it was. And, uh, she wanted it out. She was like going to some of our friends house and she, maybe we had to come in and comb her hair. She was like, my hair's a mess. It looks terrible. And she's like, and it was like the first like kind of.


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[Assistant] Uh, alright, what, what, let's, let's learn, let's learn. You guys know Alabama. Alright. You guys know the...


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[Assistant] What's the ram or jam? What is it? The yellow bird?


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[Assistant] So the Alabama State was named after the Alabama River? Okay.


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[Assistant] Yeah. That's why it's great. It's not great either. Yeah. That's why it's great. Cause you go, well, this isn't even like a swamp. Exactly. Have you been to a real swamp? It's a nightmare.


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[Assistant] Nashville's a great desert. And you'd be like, well, we're not a desert. You're like, exactly.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's in Huntsville. That's what that is. My father-in-law, uh, was there. So all the military stuff. Yea, it's all the military stuff. It's a big time military stuff. It's huge. And they, uh, it's in Huntsville. Yea. And I've golfed there.


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[Assistant] You ever, what's the most normal place that you would want to, uh, is there a normal place that you would like, you could pull into Walmart, you're like, what's really happening back behind that?


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[Assistant] You would explore it. So if you, if the red zone are, you would, you would never be scared to know.


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[Assistant] With Huntsville, they, uh, yeah, I mean, so many people are, are, are moving there that it's, it's so many people not from there. I mean, it's, it's getting pretty crazy. And yeah, that, that will, that place could be huge. It's a good place to live, man.


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[Assistant] I think there's a lot of property fighting in Alabama. There's a lot of like, it's my property. That's my favorite kind of fighting.


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[Assistant] I just watched, there will be blood again. I think he talks about that. Like he owns, I think he says that he owns the mineral rights because the guys, well, we own this other land. He's like, cause what he bought, he owns the mineral rights to all that other stuff. I don't know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and then, so it's in the museum.


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[Assistant] I just, I kinda picture it like, did it come through her house? Yea. And like how big, was it the size of a brick? Grapefruit size. Oh.


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[Assistant] I mean, from the, I mean, galaxy. It's not, you know. Pretty far away. Pretty far away.


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[Assistant] The atmosphere didn't do enough, but I should get some siding done. Talk to those roofers. That's good work.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's a, okay. What's the, I'll take some pricing on that then.


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[Assistant] Okay. Most trailer parks. Yeah. Probably the reason, right? Probably so, yeah.


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[Assistant] And the reason, and they always go, you guys, you guys can't be like, why are y'all not prepared for this? And they always say that you're like, because it doesn't happen enough.


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[Assistant] It's not enough that we need to get prepared. You know what I mean? Like this year was so crazy that no one could drive. Nothing's getting plowed.


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[Assistant] And it's like, yeah, but this was, it was a week and then the next 10 years we won't have this. So what are you going to do? Go bring everything in that just sits waiting for the one week that we had, you know, it's like, it's, it's better just to like, yeah, that week's kind of done. You just, you know, scratch that week. People get mad like we're not green bay.


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[Assistant] Being like, why are you not prepared? Like you're like, cause we don't get it, dude. Like we don't, we don't get it enough. We get.


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[Assistant] We get ice and snow. I was, you know, it's these, but you were, so,


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[Assistant] Would you have been, I thought about this, the kids that always get out of school, you know, they, I might have talked about it that week, but, uh,


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[Assistant] When there's a big snow week and there's always like, and you'd be like, the roads are fine. And they're always like, well, there's some kids that we can't get to in the buses. Yeah. That'd have been where you're at. You weren't up in the woods.


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[Assistant] Cause I always wonder where do these people, where do these kids live? There's always kids that they go, well, we can't get to everybody. Like who? Like I'm driving, like you're like, we're all driving. I mean, you're, you're no, you have no snow in the South. They're like, well, we can't get everywhere. You're like, is a guy on a mountain? Like one kid that we can't get to?


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[Assistant] That's so crazy to think in high school, like your friends would text you and say, and you're like, I mean, that's so, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. No, it's not. It's just funny. It's just like, it's, it's, there's times you have moments of feeling old and you're like, God, in high school, you were friends with texting.


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[Assistant] And that's so crazy. I feel having a good night right here. This guy, they sent an owl out.


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[Assistant] Then everybody else. Yeah, cause there's a reason for that.


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[Assistant] I think some soccer stadium. I've been to Talladega.


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[Assistant] Because, uh, Billy Elliot, uh, his son, uh,


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[Assistant] It's, Bill Elliott, the fun fact about him was he once lapped the entire field. That's how his car was going over 200 miles an hour. This is when they, they finally like slowed him down because they were going too fast and he lapped everybody. Wow.


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[Assistant] That's unreal. Like, how do you ever get so far ahead that you lap the entire film?


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[Assistant] Not whispering, whispering Bill Anderson. I went to actually high school with his, uh, son.


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[Assistant] And, uh. Wow, Beaver, uh, Penn State, Ohio State, Texas A&M.


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[Assistant] Indian national cricket team. Uh, man, cricket is, I need to, I need to, I do not understand cricket at all. And I would like to, I would like to, cause so many people are watching it that I would like to, where you want to go, like I want to know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but they throw it and it bounces and then they hit with a paddle into a field. Kinda like baseball.


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[Assistant] But I mean, people like the guys are the best cricket players. It's so big.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would like to know who's the best, who's the, like, that's what anytime I know a sport that I don't know, I want to go, well, who's- Who's their LeBron right now?


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[Assistant] Well, my, well that's where, like with hockey, Wayne Gretzky, that's why it's so fascinating, Wayne Gretzky, how good he is. Cause I know everybody talks about Wayne Gretzky, but hockey, especially here, is not the most talked about thing. But Wayne Gretzky is, I mean, more dominant than Jordan. I mean, he's, the records he's broke.


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[Assistant] I mean they're impossible to catch. He's the only one that they, Lebron's probably going to be the all time scorer. He can probably beat it. No one thought that record could ever get broken to be the all time scorer. It's so far ahead. And Lebron's got a real shot at it.


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[Assistant] Uh, I mean, no one's, Wayne Gretzky's records are, I mean Simon, dude, no one can, have you looked, it's like two times.


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[Assistant] If he wouldn't have played or something, like he, or would have left, years off, he would, he would be so far ahead.


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[Assistant] Uh, that's the boxer that just can't, the guy that's currently, the big, big heavyweight fighter.


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[Assistant] Deontay Wilder. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Deontay Wilder is from, uh, Tuscaloosa.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've always heard that. It's funny, they haven't really been down there to play, but, uh, yeaah, they are unbelievable.


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[Assistant] He never bets. He just goes, look, I'll tell you.


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[Assistant] And he was, uh, I don't know if I ever told about that. Yeah, you told it. Yeah. And he would flash his light.


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[Assistant] Sometimes the shows that are the worst are the ones you do the most time at. Yeah. For some reason you end up being- I'm punishing them at that point.


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't think so. So it was in Michigan too. We performed, it was, the bowling alley was had, uh, like, so when you did the show, they had to build the stage. And so you're performing, bowling alleys are behind you. Now they're all dark, but.


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[Assistant] Down, they still let bowling happen. So the whole show is you're hearing bowling.


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[Assistant] And so I'm opening them for Big J and then, uh, I'm on, they just put the stage up, they put the lights up and all this. And so I'm doing the thing and the crowds like sitting there and, uh, you know, you're sitting in the crowds, like sitting in like seats, like they had like actually kind of stadium seating because I think they do like bowling competitions there.


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[Assistant] And so they had kind of stadium seating and then tables, but the stadium seating was empty. No one's there. Everybody's just kind of down at the tables. And I mean, it's a lot of room. I mean, it's basically a whole bowling alley is kind of shut down for you except at the end.


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[Assistant] And so when I'm up there, the spotlight goes out. So I'm just in the dark. Whole set, I'm just in the dark. And so I'm like, you know, talking, I'm like, ah, making jokes about it, the guy comes over, brings the ladder, climbs up with the ladder, fixes the, uh, the spotlight, comes back down the ladder, everybody claps, they go, alright, do it again, blah, blah, blah. And then, uh, within three minutes, the light goes out again.


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[Assistant] And I'm like, ah, I gotta fix it again. And he goes, alright.


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[Assistant] That ladder hits you. Yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. Like just all of these up there, having to fix it. Uh, that's my bull in early story.


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[Assistant] After the top 10 malls would be enough that you go, that's enough. If you're like 11, if you're 11, you want to, now if I'm in the 11th mall, I'm going to be like, well, I think we should still do, I understand it. Definitely not past 20.


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[Assistant] Biggest mullet, but I mean really 10 to me is.


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[Assistant] How much is it in American money when y'all use your own quarter that you, that y'all have that.


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[Assistant] You go, uh, you go, is this country, you asked, after I said Alabama, you can't go, is it country Alabama? Like, he's just, Aaron Lane is.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no wheels. Well, if they had wheels, they would never be able to get it back, you know?


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[Assistant] You were gonna kill things? You were like, well not, not live, not the same as animals.


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[Assistant] That's another like the Vietnamese, like the, uh, Arab, Alabama, they go, where are you from? I go from Arab, Alabama. You're like, okay, man, that's enough. All right. That's, that's rude. And you're just like, what? That's what it is. Like, you didn't be, you know, that's


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[Assistant] Oh man. I knew Doc, not we, as I knew Doc Holliday. Alright, well.


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[Assistant] Do you have the 5200? How much that is?


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[Assistant] Like a truck goes, you know, like a truck gets loose on the interstate and they have to go up that ramp that slows them down. That's where I feel like we're at with this podcast.


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[Assistant] I'll be honest with you, it feels, we were a truck rolling and we're not hitting the ramp, we're almost, the truck driver's already taking a sigh of relief. That's how much this.


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[Assistant] Uh, what is he? 12, 13, 13 now. He may hold this for a while. He's done zanies once, twice. He's done zanies twice by nephew Caleb. Very funny. Him and they wrote jokes and, uh,


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[Assistant] He's, uh, did very good. The first set he, he went up and did, he, he, my, I was doing the headline zanies, my dad was opening and then he brought Caleb up and Caleb went up and destroyed, destroyed and, uh,


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[Assistant] Did very good and brought me up and he's just so confident. And then the next, like my brother teaches at the, he goes to school, my brother's at, and, uh, they teach us and my brother's like, well, we're doing a, you know, uh,


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[Assistant] What is it? Talent show. Like at school. He's like, you should do your stand up.


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[Assistant] That was very Zany's paid him. They gave me, we wrote him a check from Zany's and, uh, he got paid. And I mean, really worked hard at it. Him and my sister really helped and they did really good.


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[Assistant] That was it. Uh, we did it. Alright everybody, uh, this week.


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[Assistant] Folks, uh, The Greatest Average American, Netflix, please watch it, please tell everybody that you can. Uh, as always, Dusty Slay, check him out, all his dates that he's got coming up, his website, very, very funny. He's got a good, very funny podcast. Very funny podcast, what's your podcast about?


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[Assistant] We're having a good time podcast. So make sure you check that out. You have dates, more dates?


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[Assistant] Yeah. So, uh, yes, I should have probably opened with this. We can talk about it more, uh.


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[Assistant] We're, we're mentioning more next week, but we are doing a live Nate Land podcast at Zany's. When is it?


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[Assistant] April 15th, Thursday night, tickets are on sale now.


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[Assistant] Uh, so go get your tickets. Uh, yeah, if you've made it, this is a little, you know.


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[Assistant] Uh, April 15th, if you want to experience this live at Zany's, uh, I don't know what exactly we're going to be doing for the, I think we have some ideas though. I think we're going to take some live comments, so it will probably be a comment heavy show.


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[Assistant] Uh, and I honestly, I think we're going to do some standup too. So, uh, if you want to come check it out, each of us do like, you know, just a few minutes, nothing crazy, but just a little, some sets and then do a recorded little podcast. And, uh, we'll make sure to put the podcast out so you guys can hear it that are not in Nashville.


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[Assistant] But, uh, April 15th, zanies go check it out. Uh, and, uh, yeah. All right. Do you want to mention that you're giving up soda? Oh.


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[Assistant] Uh, this is for the Patreon people at home. No, we don't have Patreon, but this is the, so, uh, yeah. So I did, I'm glad I told you, because I would have said it. God, I would have gotten away with it. Uh, but, uh, I, I want to quit drinking.


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[Assistant] Cokes, soda. Yeah. Would you always say coke growing up?


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[Assistant] So, uh, that's how I did it. But I want to, I don't need to be drunk drinking. I want to lose weight. I think soda is a big problem for me. I drink a lot of it. I think I drink, I'll have at least, if I'm not going out to eat, I'll have two, probably two to three.