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[Assistant] Tell you my April, April 11th through the 13th. Grand Rapids, Michigan, Dr. Grin. I love Dr. Grin for the first time in April. And then, uh, at the end of the month, April 25th through the 28th, I'm in Atlanta, ATL.


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[Assistant] The Braves are at home that weekend, going Sunday.


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[Assistant] Alright, we love you all. Thank you to our sponsors, Delete Me, Butcher Box, Rocket Money, and... AG One, baby!


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[Assistant] The very center of the eclipse, it's going to be dark for like four and a half minutes. For us, about a minute and a half. So, okay.


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[Assistant] Well the more inward you go to the exact totality, you're gonna be dark longer. I thought that's what we are. Well we are, but just less time.


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[Assistant] Well, there's a line that goes all the way through the United States, and it's about 115 miles wide. If you're right in the middle of that, you're gonna get dark longer than...


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[Assistant] Greg's great because, you know how Kramer, when Jerry said, you want to go, and he's like, yeaah. He's like, I could have said pretty much anything there. I messaged Greg, said, hey, you want to go to Paducah, look at the clips with us? Gave no details. He's like, yeaah, I'm in. To the point where I thought, oh, Laura's already reached out to him, and he's just like, you're performing.


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[Assistant] No one knew, no one knew besides me that he was even, cause I thought Laura talked to him and then somebody said, I just heard Greg Warren on the radio saying he's going to go watch the eclipse with you guys. Greg Warren's coming? I'm like, yeah, I guess he is.


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[Assistant] Well, I was about to say- It's on the other side of the earth. A lunar eclipse is when the earth is between the moon and the sun, right? Yes. Yeah. But what is it when it's just not full? Like, is it that also the earth- That's what I was asking.


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[Assistant] They did, they did just slightly change it though.


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[Assistant] There's parts of Missouri now that they said was going to be in it, that are now you're going to have to move a little bit.


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[Assistant] There's a couple planets that don't have eclipses because they don't have moons. I gotta hear somewhere. If anybody cares.


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[Assistant] So, is Venus just, it's light all the time? I guess, but we'll see it once it gets total. Venus? Yea, we'll see Venus once it gets totality.


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[Assistant] We love DraftKings. March Madness has been a blast and now UFC is here. An action-packed fight card is taking over Las Vegas for UFC 300 and DraftKings Sportsbooks, the official sports betting partner of UFC.


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[Assistant] And it's giving new customers a shot to turn 5 bucks into $150 instantly in bonus bets with any UFC 300 bet. This Saturday, if you watch UFC, T-Bowl Arena,


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[Assistant] Looking to make his first defense of the crown. Is that funnier?


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[Assistant] Yeaah, he's fighting former title holder Jamahal Hill?


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[Assistant] Is that right? Jamal, I think it's Jamal here. Okay, well.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, so Draft Kings allows you to not only place your bet on who will win, but you can also wager on how many rounds it will last, or whether a fighter will win by knockout or submission.


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[Assistant] Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code NATELAND. New customers can bet $5 to get $150 instantly in bonus bets.


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[Assistant] But the sun is 400 times further away from the earth than the moon. So that's what makes it look like same size. Right. Oh, come on, Greg.


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[Assistant] This is the energy we need. It is starting to get darker. There was also a battle, I think I talked about this a couple weeks ago, a five year battle between two warring tribes and when a solar eclipse happened they both freaked out so much they put down their swords and like, this is God telling us we need to make peace. Really?


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[Assistant] That's another reason I'm glad you're with us. I'm no longer the old guy when you're with us. Yeaah. You still are, but. You still are. Just not the oldest. So the eclipse here in Paducah actually happens at 2-0-0-50. So almost 2-0-1, so.


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[Assistant] So this is called the Great American Eclipse because so many people are in the path. The one from seven years ago, 12 million people lived in it. This one, 31 million people.


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[Assistant] It'd be like this right here. Now I can tell. You don't think it'd be-


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[Assistant] I brought these too. This is another way to look at it. You're supposed to... Alright, it's not working.


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[Assistant] Right. Okay. And it said to, maybe because it's two, now it's probably two, I'll have to wait till it gets more sunlight. Supposed to be able to see it through there. Oh, that's kinda cool. Ah, that is scary, man.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it goes for like another couple hours. It does? As it gradually expands back out. Or at least another hour and a half.


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[Assistant] So the next, uh, the next eclipse, do you know Greg?


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[Assistant] How are they both right? We're talking about total eclipse. Alaska gets one in 2033. Ooo. Yea, but not total? No, total, but Alaska is the only one that gets it. And then one in 2044, it's just three states, Montana and the Dakotas that get it. That's good for them, because I don't think they've had...


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[Assistant] But the one in 2045 goes all across the whole country. Starts in California, goes all the way down to Miami. Oh really? So that's a good one. In 45. 2045, yea. Yea.


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[Assistant] The other thing you say, take your fingers, and do like this, and then you would somehow see the, see the eclipse.


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[Assistant] There was a woman who had like a crescent shaped burn on her eyeballs from the last one.


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[Assistant] There was a couple of references to eclipses even in the Bible. Do you know that, John?


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[Assistant] I don't know if that was specific, but, but anyway, it happened, and they think maybe that was an eclipse. They can look- Is that, d-d-dad knows.


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[Assistant] And then I mentioned a few weeks ago, Jesus was crucified. It got dark for like three hours and there wasn't an eclipse in 33 AD. Oh, really?


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[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah. Took a computer class. Huh? You took a computer class there.


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[Assistant] And, and for the record, Greg and I were talking through Facebook Messenger and I said, Hey man, here's my phone number. I send him my phone number and I'm like, and I'm like.


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[Assistant] I think that's what this guy might be asking though, like, these jokes were nope, not many people knew you.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I used to have Titans season tickets for like 20-something years. March Madness, tonight's the championship game.


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[Assistant] I don't think it tips off to like 820 so I should be able to watch that, but I haven't seen much of March Madness.


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[Assistant] I used to watch every gamer for good. Did you check out some of the madness?


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[Assistant] I think he's pitching against the sounds in Memphis this week.


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[Assistant] Nate, would you say you're disappointed with it because it was not as dark as last time? Uh, no, I thought it was very cool.


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[Assistant] It moved an inch. An inch. That was seven years ago. So seven inches, right? Uh, yes, seven inches. Barely even on the plant.


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[Assistant] I'm off this weekend. I was going to take my mom to the Capitol Theater to see Stephen Bargatze in Lebanon, Tennessee. Sold out!


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[Assistant] The setting of a story is everything. It creates mood and atmosphere. It triggers memories and helps our minds fill in the blanks, adding tension and suspense where there was only words and images.


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[Assistant] What would the Shining be like without the long hallways of the Overlook or the legend of Hellhouse without the dusty bones of the old Belasco house? And can anyone ever look at an old cabin in the woods without a chill running down their spine? Not me, that's for sure.


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[Assistant] But one of the most iconic and most visceral settings from any horror story without question has always been the insane asylum. These days we refer to the institutions that treat mental disorders as psychiatric hospitals. They're hard places to work.


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[Assistant] I know this firsthand thanks to a colorful college internship that featured a double amputee who enjoyed streaking down the hallway on his knees. Mental health professionals do amazing work.


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[Assistant] But a lot more than just the name has changed for these hospitals of the mind. In the late 1800s through the 1950s, asylums were a very different place. They were filled with sick people in need of help, but frequently they were only offered pain and suffering.


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[Assistant] When H.P. Lovecraft wrote The Thing on the Doorstep in 1933, he imagined a place that he called Arkham Sanitarium. Arkham is the seed. It's the first of its kind.


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[Assistant] Through it, Lovecraft brought the Asylum into the horror genre, and others quickly caught on. The famous super prison and mental hospital of the Batman universe, Arkham Asylum, is a blatant and direct callback to Lovecraft's invention.


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[Assistant] Before the days of institutional care for the mentally ill, the job was left largely to independent contractors, people who were hired by the state to look after others. But that was a system with far too many opportunities for failure.


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[Assistant] Patients were routinely placed in cages or stalls, and they were chained and beaten into submission.


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[Assistant] Violence, rape, and death were everyday occurrences. Thankfully, people began to look for a better, more humane way of caring for these individuals. And those conversations led to the establishment of a new state-of-the-art mental hospital.


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[Assistant] Plan started off on the wrong foot, though. The site that was chosen for the construction was the former homestead of John Hawthorne, one of the nine magistrates who oversaw the witch trials of Salem in 1692. Hawthorne was known for his vicious, harsh attitude toward those who were accused of witchcraft, and he pushed hard for their execution.


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[Assistant] He was so well known for his violent, hateful personality that his great-great-grandson, the author Nathaniel Hawthorne, changed the spelling of his last name, adding the W, to distance himself from that reputation.


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[Assistant] It was there on Hawthorne Hill that the foundations of the hospital were laid.


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[Assistant] The chances are pretty high that no one made the comparisons at the time, but hindsight is always 20-20. And looking back over the last century and a half, it's clear that Hawthorne's legacy lived on atop that hill.


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[Assistant] The Danvers State Hospital was actually intended to be a beacon of hope. There was a specific plan behind its design, one that was based on the work of Dr. Thomas Kirkbride.


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[Assistant] He designed the building with four radiating wings on each side of a central structure. His reason was simple. With more of the rooms exposed to sunlight and proper ventilation, more of the patients would experience recovery.


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[Assistant] All told, the hospital was designed to house 500 patients covering a wide spectrum of mental illnesses who were served by a team of roughly one dozen staff.


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[Assistant] When the doors finally opened in 1878, it was originally called the State Lunatic Hospital and there was no other place like it in the country. It was set up to be a leader in the humane treatment of patients and became the model for countless other facilities like it.


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[Assistant] And rightly so. The place was amazing. The ornate interiors, private rooms, and sunny corridors all connected to the central Kirkbride building. The patients were encouraged to exercise and participate in the community gardens. The small farm there even produced enough food for the hospital kitchen to feed the patients homegrown meals.


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[Assistant] Over time though, the hospital expanded. There were separate tuberculosis buildings, housing for staff, a machine shop, a medical building, and a pump house to pull water from the reservoir.


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[Assistant] All of these locations were connected underground by a network of dark, brick-lined tunnels arranged in the shape of a wagon wheel to allow for easy movement during harsh New England winters. But the hospital campus wasn't the only thing that was expanding.


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[Assistant] As with all good things, the bright days of the Danvers State Hospital didn't last long. More and more patients were admitted each year, and the staff continued to struggle with keeping up.


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[Assistant] In addition, decreased state funding prevented them from hiring more help.


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[Assistant] By the 1920s, the population had grown to over 2,000 patients, four times what the facility was designed to hold. One eyewitness reported that in November of 1945, the evening shift of the entire hospital consisted of nine people, and they were expected to care for the needs of more than 2,300 patients. You'll have to pardon the expression.


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[Assistant] But things at the Danvers State Hospital had begun to get crazy.


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[Assistant] Patients were frequently sick and filthy. It was not uncommon for some to die unnoticed, only to be found days later. It was nearly impossible for the staff to manage so many patients, and so they turned to the accepted tools of their time.


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[Assistant] Straight jackets, solitary confinement, and even restraints. However barbaric they might seem to us today, we're mild compared to some of the other methods used by the staff.


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[Assistant] Patients were regularly subjected to hydrotherapy and electroshock therapy, and yet it somehow still managed to get worse. That's where the lobotomy enters the story.


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[Assistant] First pioneered by Dr. Walter Freeman in 1936, the lobotomy was a complicated procedure. The surgeon would literally cut the patient's brain, severing the connection between the frontal lobes and the thalamus. The goal was to reduce symptoms and make the patient more manageable.


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[Assistant] But the results were mixed. Some patients died as a result of the procedure, while others would go on to take their own lives.


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[Assistant] Freeman, though, quickly grew tired of how long it took to complete the procedure. He had heard of a doctor in Italy who was operating on his patient's brains through their eye sockets. Working without drilling or cutting presented an opportunity that Freeman simply could not pass up.


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[Assistant] He called his new technique the transorbital lobotomy. It's fairly easy to describe, but it's not for the faint of heart.


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[Assistant] Freeman discovered that the only surgical tool he really needed was an ice pick. According to his son, Franklin Freeman, in a PBS interview in 2008, those first ice picks came right out of their kitchen ice box and they worked like a charm, he said.


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[Assistant] So by inserting the ice pick into the inner corner of the patient's eye, Freeman could punch through the skull to reach the brain. Then he would essentially...


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[Assistant] And he got good at it. So good, in fact, that he took his show on the road. He literally toured the nation in a van that he called the Lobotomobile, stopping at mental institutions where he would educate and train the staff in his own technique.


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[Assistant] And while he was there, he would perform as many lobotomies as they needed for the low, low cost of just $25 per patient.


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[Assistant] It might sound like Freeman was delivering a solution to a desperate industry, but that was pretty far from the truth. His patients often lost the ability to feed themselves or use a bathroom unassisted, and those skills would have to be retaught if that was even possible. And while many patients recovered, about 15% died from the procedure.


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[Assistant] Relapses were common, and sometimes the lobotomy would have to be reattempted.


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[Assistant] Once in 1951, at Iowa's Cherokee Mental Health Institute, Freeman stopped in the middle of a lobotomy, ice pit clutched in his hand, so that he could pose for a photograph. The instrument penetrated a bit too far, and the patient died.


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[Assistant] Some people still don't believe in monsters.


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[Assistant] The horror of institutional lobotomy ended in 1954, when a new drug was brought to the market. Thorazine was marketed as a chemical lobotomy, and the need for the surgical procedure dropped dramatically. The nightmare, though, never really stopped at Danvers State Hospital.


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[Assistant] But this was just one more tragedy in a long string of bad news that had wrapped itself around the Damer State Hospital, beginning in the 1960s.


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[Assistant] Massive budget cuts, building closings, and structural damage had all conspired to slowly push the doors closed.


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[Assistant] I've also heard rumors about teenage patients who went missing during the 1980s. One account I read put the number at over 100 patients in the space of about three months. The hospital never spoke about it publicly because the closure of their facility was already looming on the horizon. But they knew it was happening.


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[Assistant] In each case they said these patients had been assigned to this new doctor upon admission, but then vanished.


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[Assistant] It's also rumored that scraps of papers were found in several of the patient's rooms that mentioned a tall man and the woods. Some have speculated that this doctor had been taking patients outside the building for unknown reasons. Conveniently, this doctor was never found or identified.


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[Assistant] But again, these rumors may very well just be a product of decades of dark reputation. And I haven't found definitive proof that any of it actually happened. What is clear though is just how powerful of a pull the old hospital's past has on the imaginations of the curious. Even today.


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[Assistant] What we do know though, is that by 1985, nearly every building on the campus had been abandoned.


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[Assistant] The main Kirkbride administrative building itself closed down four years later.


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[Assistant] The last remaining patients were moved to another medical building on site, but were all eventually transported to other facilities elsewhere. They say it took the National Guard and 80 ambulances to do it.


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[Assistant] The hospital was officially abandoned in the summer of 1992 and stood vacant and derelict for nearly a decade.


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[Assistant] The rooms that once played host to the mindless victims of Dr. Freeman and his ice pick became a dwelling for homeless squatters. They built their lives around the decaying medical equipment, wheelchairs, and bed frames. It was probably the healthiest inmate population the building had known for decades.


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[Assistant] In 2005, the property was purchased by a developer, and much of the campus was demolished to make way for a sprawling apartment complex. But they left the front facade of the Kirkbride building, with its soaring gothic towers and intricate brickwork. But the hospital didn't go quietly.


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[Assistant] In April of 2007, four of those apartment buildings, as well as a handful of construction trailers, mysteriously burned down.


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[Assistant] It was a fire so big that it was visible from Boston, 17 miles to the south. There was an investigation, but it turned up no evidence other than webcam footage of the construction site, which inexplicably cut out just before the fire began.


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[Assistant] The image of an asylum will forever hold a place in our hearts as something to be feared and avoided. Whether new and sunny, or ancient and decaying, the asylum is a setting that causes people to back away, a ball of terror rising in their stomachs. But why?


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[Assistant] On a rational level, these were places of hope for many people.


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[Assistant] Still, the very concept of a residential hospital for the mentally ill, complete with 19th century decor and equipment, has become the stuff of nightmares.


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[Assistant] But death is chasing all of us. The curse of mortality is that we are already handing those things over, day by day, until the time when there is nothing left to give.


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[Assistant] Perhaps the stereotypical asylum simply reminds us of the inevitable truth that is our own death.


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[Assistant] The Danvers State Hospital is nearly gone today, but reminders still linger of its presence. Besides the brick facade of the Kirkbride building, one of the roads there is even called Kirkbride Drive. The reservoir that provided the facility with its water can be found behind the apartment buildings. And that vast network of ancient tunnels is still there as well, snaking its way beneath the modern structures and the people who live inside them.


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[Assistant] One final reminder awaits people who come for a visit, though. The old asylum cemetery.


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[Assistant] It's where staff buried patients who died and went unclaimed by family.


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[Assistant] There are no tall tombstones, though. Instead, each grave is marked by a small square stone with a number engraved upon it. And there are hundreds of them.


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[Assistant] Anyone looking for the cemetery today will know they found it when they see the large boulder that marks the entrance. It was placed there in recent past to explain why all those square stones are there.


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[Assistant] Humans are relentlessly curious, and that's often a good thing, leading to many breakthroughs. But as we just learned in places like the Danvers State Hospital, that desire to learn and experiment also led to a lot of pain and suffering.


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[Assistant] And there are more examples of the same. In fact, I've tracked down one more tale at the intersection of science and human suffering that I think you need to hear. Stick around after this brief sponsor break and I'll tell you all about it.


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[Assistant] Many places in our world have a heart that drives the life of the community there. London has long had banking and financing at its core. Los Angeles has made the entertainment industry their soul for the past century. These are the things that drive the economy


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[Assistant] And inhabit the minds of many of the people who live there.


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[Assistant] Way up in the northern parts of Michigan, though, away from the hustle and bustle of urban life, Mackinac Island used to march by the beat of its own drum, the fur trade. From its earliest days as a French outpost up through the French and Indian War and beyond, there had been a strong population of fur traders there.


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[Assistant] Which is why in June of 1822, it wasn't unusual in the least that there were more than a few hunters out at the same time, checking traps and tracking their next kill.


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[Assistant] Mackinac Island has never been large, but it was heavily wooded back then and sits in the middle of a strait. There always seemed to be something out there for trappers to capture.


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[Assistant] On June 6th of that year though, two hunters passed a bit too close to each other. One man fired his musket at an animal and missed his target. Instead, his shot struck another trader in the side. Thankfully, the first man rescued the injured trader and brought him back to town for medical care.


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[Assistant] The man, Alexis St. Martin, was bleeding from his abdomen where the other hunter's musket had ripped through the muscle and tissue there, making a hole in St. Martin's stomach.


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[Assistant] The physician who attended him, a man named Dr. William Beaumont, did his best though, and stopped the bleeding.


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[Assistant] When he was finished, he had a problem. He hadn't been able to sew the wound entirely shut. There was a hole in Saint Martin's side that led directly into his stomach, like an open window in the side of a submarine.


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[Assistant] But Dr. Beaumont had an idea that he wanted to run by St. Martin.


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[Assistant] This was a rare opportunity, he told the trader. Dr. Beaumont asked the man if he would be willing to allow himself to be studied for a while. He wanted to use this chance to study the human digestive system in a way that had never been done before. To help ease St. Martin's mind, he even drew up a contract for their arrangement. And amazingly, the injured trapper signed it. Life for Alexis St. Martin was


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[Assistant] Uhm, unique after that moment. He would do chores and hard labor for the doctor, but occasionally had to set all that aside and let his wound be explored and experimented upon. Dr. Beaumont would take pieces of food that he had tied to the ends of strings, insert them into St. Martin's stomach through the hole, and then pull them out later.


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[Assistant] And before we continue, can we be clear and just declare right now how weird this was?


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[Assistant] It was an arrangement that seemed pulled out of a 19th century gothic horror novel, and yet it was happening in real life. St. Martin had become a guinea pig under the care of a man who was desperate for knowledge, and it had to have felt more than a little strange.


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[Assistant] Dr. Beaumont had an opportunity farther south in St. Louis and left town, but as soon as he was settled there, he began to write to St. Martin, begging him to come join him so the studies could continue. St. Martin, though, politely declined.


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[Assistant] Beaumont went on to publish his research and earn a bit of fame from it all, while St. Martin moved on and tried to live a normal life.


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[Assistant] He got married, had a family, and eventually moved back to Quebec where he had been born. He died after a long and fulfilling life at the ripe old age of 80.


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[Assistant] According to the legend though, St. Martin's family was left with a bit of a problem.


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[Assistant] Fearing that the medical community might come and take his body away for further experimentation, they decided to let Saint Martin decompose before burial.


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[Assistant] With a coffin ready to be buried, they dug the grave extra deep, at least eight feet down, they say, with the hope that any would-be grave robber would fail. And honestly, I hope it worked.


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[Assistant] This episode of Lore was researched, written, and produced by me, Aaron Manke, with music by Chad Lawson. Lore is much more than just a podcast. There's a book series available in bookstores and online, and two seasons of the television show on Amazon Prime Video. Check them both out if you want more Lore in your life.


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[Assistant] I also make and executive produce a whole bunch of other podcasts, all of which I think you'd enjoy. My production company, Grim and Mild, specializes in shows that sit at the intersection of the dark and the historical. You can learn more about all of our shows and everything else going on over in one central place, grimandmild.com.


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[Assistant] And you can also follow this show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Just search for Lore Podcast, all one word, and then click that follow button. And when you do, say hi. I like it when people say hi. And as always, thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we'll see. That was a dumb comment. No, no. I'm just making fun of Notre Dame. Oh, yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I felt like I'd, I've never heard that. You never heard that? I don't think so. You heard it?


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[Assistant] I think I definitely ate more than Brian did. You hand, I think you've still handled it the best than all three of us. Now the one we did today, I don't want to give it away, but the one we did today was a lot easier than the one that me and you did. Yeah, that's amazing to me. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Now maybe I'm just a little more immune. My tolerance is a little higher now. But I ate, you know, I would not have ordered the hottest hot as a meal, but I ate it just fine. Okay.


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[Assistant] We started at mild and then medium and then hot and then there's two other levels. I think Brian was tapping out at medium.


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[Assistant] In a way, I think it would be really fun if it did, just so nobody else would want us to do it there.


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[Assistant] They would go, nah, this shows, like, it's like, it's not even our fault because you're already going bankrupt before it airs. Right. Right. But we're like, uh, we're like the, what is it? The Madden curse? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I'm hurting right now. My stomach hurts but I feel pretty good.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, at times I couldn't tell if Brian was faking how much it was affecting him because it was, it was a little over the top at times where I thought about, well, you're, you're really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The poltergeist would have been, that was the big one at, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was too much for me. That was like an insane amount of heat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if I go to a Thai restaurant and they go, this is our hot, cause I like a little spice. They go, our hotness is one to 10. I'll go maybe a seven or eight because I like a little spice, but I feel like if you say 10, they're going to be like, Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even mild, you said, you noticed even with mild. Well yeaah, we came in there, we didn't start with the regular, we started with the mild, and right away I'm like, oh I can feel this. Oh yeaah dude. But it's like... It's in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like they, you know, this place we win, they're a little, a little longer in the game and I feel like they have a more balanced approach. A little more established. Yeah. Whereas where, where party foul was like good, good, good, good. Every pepper in the garden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're pulling out peppers that nobody's ever heard of. A reaper pepper. It's like, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I was in Tulsa, Oklahoma at BrickTown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it was great. I've not been to Tulsa in a long time. Last time I was there was at, well, the last club I did was a Looney Bin there in Tulsa. And I always liked the Looney Bins, but, uh, I never headlined the Looney Bin in Tulsa. And, uh, it's my first headlining weekend in Tulsa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I told him, I was like, this is the best show I've ever seen you have. But the audience was just hot. They were there for it. They were into it. We had Adam Bush hosting. He's very good. So it was just front to back, a good show. Everybody was just, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For sure, in a way that I'm like, ah, I hope this is as good as what they're expecting it to be. Whereas before I'm like, oh, half this audience doesn't even know who I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so yeaah, so it is a bit different, and it's like, you know, people are real, like I did radio, and it's like, now that I have a Netflix, people have always been nice to me, but now that I have a Netflix, people are like, so nice to me, they're like criticizing their own cities. They're like, what are you doing in Tulsa?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also a major American city. Yeah. Tulsa is great. It was very cold, so I didn't do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. I love that. I left my laptop in my hotel in Milwaukee two weeks ago. They emailed it to me. I mean, not email.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know that like when you're doing those and you, you work with this guy, Alan Rommelfinger too, and when they, they, he will line up hours of radio in a row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, I've done four hours where I call a new radio station every 15 minutes. And it's like, yeah, you get tired. And so it's like when, when they answer the phone and want a small talk with you before you do the interview, it's kind of like, all right, you know, I've been talking all day, like, let's just do the interview.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, yeah, so the small talk of that is the worst rating. Like if I'm first two or three calls, my small talk is great. I'm funny in the small talk by call.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 25? I'm like you. I'm like, yeah, I just had a funeral.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they don't include a hotel, right? When the club books you, they book you a hotel or they have a condo or something. Yeah. So if I'm taking a comic to the theater, it's like, I'm booking my hotel and their hotel. So if I can do an Airbnb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Greg Warren, I don't know if he ever told that story on this podcast, but he told me a story about working with Ron White at like a loony bin type place where you all stayed in one condo together. Right. And at the end of the weekend, the room was so trashed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause Ron was the headliner and it was so trashed and like, I don't know if Greg's saying he was just trying to clean up a little bit cause he wanted to get invited back and he found Ron's check for the weekend just crumpled up on the counter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, hey, you know, Aaron is, uh, really on it these days and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I just was like, you know, I'm on the podcast. So when I see the clip, I'm like, well, I saw this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a pasture? Oh, maybe I'm not sure. I have no idea. Now I'm lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All this time you thought your friend was just a good old wholesome. Just abusing animals. You find out he's doing drugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was a trick to just get people to try to do it just as a prank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's a good way to go because listen, the more you start to realize what's going on out here, the more you'll disagree with because nothing is the truth. There's no truth out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything's a lie. Everything that you see all the time is a lie. Nobody knows what they're talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, nobody knows. We all are just reading things and we're like, well, this is true according to the person that wrote it. Right. And we don't know history, science. We don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're now even saying that the whole six foot, uh, thing that we were supposed to be doing was not based in science. The whole stay six feet away from each other. They're now admitting that there was no science in that. And it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're friends, sometimes you can have dialogue, but I've had lots of friends lose it on me over stuff, you know? And I'm like, okay. I've been that guy. Yeah. I don't know if you guys have lost it on me. No, I've never lost it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe some type of cut of meat. I was thinking about prime. A prime number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like anybody that knows any director other than the Coen brothers is obsessed with movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Morgan Freeman's really great. No doubt about it, but I could see, I could not see Tom Cruise being Andy Dufresne, but I could see Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford's great. He could have pulled it off. Tom Cruise is great too, but I don't see him as Andy Dufresne.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about a Lawrence Fishburne? He could have been a good...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A combination of the Warden and Tommy. The Warden's great. You know, isn't the Warden also in Ace Ventura 2? He's in a lot of stuff. I don't know about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Seventies era movies are the best. You've seen Whiplash? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, my dad raises hay every year, if that's what you could call it. But he, every year, he, he, he has these fields. Harvest? Yea, he grows hay, he grows this tall grass, and then he comes through and he cuts the hay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're the only farmers that don't want rain. You want rain before you cut it, so that it will grow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But after you cut it, it needs to lay on the field and dry. And if it rains on it, it can cause it to mildew. Can you cover it up? No, that would be a big tarp. Yeah, it's huge fields. So then you go and maybe block the sun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but the, so then, you know, you have a tractor to cut and then you go back to rake it and you need the tractor and then you need a tractor to bale it. So my dad would have me rake the hay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then my dad, uh, would yell at me from the other tractor if something went wrong that I didn't realize it was going wrong. But I couldn't hear what my dad was yelling. I could just see him yelling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talkies or anything like that. I mean they existed, but we didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever do the Haunted Hayrods?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. That was a lot of fun. Why is everything going to be haunted, Dusty? Well, that's the only time they were offering hate rides.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell you what, I've been trying to cut back on sugar and magic spoon makes that easier than ever. They offer variety packs. Four flavors are cocoa, fruity, frosted and peanut butter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This pack has zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, four to five grams of net carbs, only 140 calories a serving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's high protein, has zero grams of sugar, keto friendly, gluten free, grain free, and soy free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Personally, I like the peanut butter. I'm a big fan of the way peanut butter taste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to Magicspoon.com slash Nate and grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code Nate at checkout to save $5 off your order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product. It's backed with a hun- 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. And that's a good deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember, start the new year off right with a delicious bowl of high protein cereal at magic spoon dot com slash Nate and use the code Nate to save five dollars off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you Magic Spoon for sponsoring this episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't mind it when it's my spoon hitting the ball, but if it's somebody else's, I wanna tip over the table. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a problem with like chips or crackers or pork rinds when people are eating them around me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stop eating the pork rinds. What are you doing? Throw the pork rinds up in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Tell it on a podcast. Back then I ate pork. Uh, now I would not even, I wouldn't accept it. No, you wouldn't let it in the car. No, I don't care what people do. Put whatever toxins you want in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. In Florida, but it's like Florida has all this coastline that is just way different than what's going on in the middle of the state. I mean, the middle of Florida is a different vibe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, buttermilk, uh, yeaah, I mean, it feels like in this that he's taking it like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what else he would use buttermilk for. I just eat a stack of pancakes. I'm eating buttermilk. My mom growing up said they couldn't, you know, buttermilk was the only thing they could afford. It was like a cheaper milk and that they would call what we drink now, sweet milk. And that was a real treat for them. I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Buttermilk and cornbread. I don't know that, that was more from, that's more of a Chambers County thing. I don't, don't blame that on Opel. Elmore County. I got a, I got another.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's milk like, like when you milk a cow, like I think you like somehow like scrape the, like butter comes and it's kind of scraped the butter off the top. And then so buttermilk is just like, you don't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess so. It's just something about there's less going on with it. I don't know. You've done less too, haven't you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I used to drink milk a lot when I had heartburn before I realized that the milk we have today is maybe not all that good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of Tums are you rocking over there? These are regular Tums today. Regular Tums? What do you mean? Well, I, I do a lot of chewable digestive enzymes. Okay. But I just have loose Tums in my pocket. So this is, uh, you know, just, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just got a bunch of chalk in your pocket. I got vitamins and digestive enzymes, cow gut pills, a lot of different things in different pockets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got cow, uhm, what is it? Cow gallbladder pills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's supposed to be the gallbladder of a cow in a capsule. It's supposed to help your stomach produce the bile that it needs to digest food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was a tribe that this guy used to talk about that they found.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were living to be like 120 years old and they were eating, uh, apricots and they would eat the apricots and then crack open the seed and eat the seed and also they would make a oil out of the seed and put on their skin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they, they looked really good even at 120 years old. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they probably don't want us to know that there are people living that long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know that I wouldn't want to see an owl eat a bath doll in the backyard. I'll be honest with you. Yeah, I thought you'd be all about this. I just didn't want the owls to eat like the neighbor, the neighbors, cats, cats and things like that. And I also like the rabbits that we have around. I thought the owls might eat those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can eat rabbits? I don't know, but I would think so. They'd probably take a shot. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I mean, that's, that's good to know though. Anything new with the bad house?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I want to redo it because the dad borrowed my neighbor's ladder. He has a 40 foot ladder. I borrowed it and it was like real cold that day. And then my neighbor, my wife and my dad are in the backyard like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Making fun of me about hanging the bat. I'm like, I've never hung a bat house. I didn't claim to be a professional bat house hanger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wife's filming, everybody's making jokes. I'm like, why don't you help me figure this out? Cause my tree wasn't wide enough for the way they had you wanting to hang the bad house. I think it's better if you put it on the side of a barn or something, but I don't have a barn and my house is not wooden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was just doing what I could do and they're all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, guy, uhm, I sh- I bought a cabinet from him. He said he went to high school with Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, in school, that's what I would get in trouble for all the time is laughing when you're not supposed to laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing funnier than laughing when you're not supposed to laugh. Yeah. It has the opposite effect. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Jameis Winston very well could be a terrible person. I don't know, but he is so funny in interview. He goes, one interview I saw, he goes, it's like coach said, wait, what'd he say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe like a order of things were supposed to, they were supposed to be in this certain order, like waking up in the morning. We should probably wake up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the sun comes up and open the window and look at sun before cutting on a fake light, letting some real sun come into our lives and go to sleep at a decent time. Get some real sleep, not be so involved with electronics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I get, I get done doing shows. I don't party. Now I've not been smoking cigars. So I just go back to my hotel room and look at my phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the saddest. I don't even know what to do anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, get rid of all your bad habits. And I'm like, yeah, but what am I supposed to do with my time? Just sit in the dark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why when I'm at home in the spring and summer, I go out in the yard or I go out to the land. I take my shoes off. I walk around on the ground. I touch some trees. I get in the dirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I feel the sunshine, I feel wonderful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but in the winter time, what are we supposed to do out here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it is kind of special, like Wendy's used to have off the side of the restaurant. You remember those?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the spring and summer, I like to get up and like, I got some chairs out back. I'll go just sit out back in the sun. It's really great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what's messing me up the most right now. Cause I'm on like, I get up with my kids, right? So I'm on dad schedule. I'm waking up six 37 every day when I'm home. I get up with the kids and when I'm home, I go to bed nine, 10 o'clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I'm on the road though, I'm going to bed at two, three o'clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, so I do that and then I go back to my hotel, can't get to sleep, but yet I still wake up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm listening, Dusty, I'm sorry. And I still wake up at six, seven o'clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did. I would say you did by staying up. Yeah. It's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Hannah would, it was kind of the opposite for us. Hannah would do night duty. I would do daytime duty and I'd be on daisy duty. But, uh, yeah, I definitely feel like I gave her the worst end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's what I think is one of our biggest lies that are out there and I got no way to prove it. But one of the biggest lies out there is that the sun is bad for us and that we should be out of the sun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the sun is great for us and like people wear sunscreen all the time and I just think, I realize that certain people are more pale than others and they can burn and it's like, you know, but it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are like sunscreening up all the time. I just, I don't think we should burn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think that our, our burning is, uh, a warning to our body to say, hey, you've been out here too long. But if you aware...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're wearing sunscreen, you're not burning, but your body is still being exposed to the sun, so you're not getting that warning. You're basically just putting that on your skin going, don't warn me when I've been out here too long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think that, you know, sunscreen's only been around for a little while. And since the beginning of time, we've been out here and the, the sun is the life giver. I mean, without the sun, the plants don't grow. I mean, sun's the real life giver. I think it's a big part. Can I counter that or are we done? No, no, let's keep you going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's hard to do. I'm still a little terrified of it. Uh, but, uh, well, it's pitch black. I'm lying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't like blackout curtains in a hotel or anything? No, I do, but I don't want it to be pitch black.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like when I can't see something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta see a little bit bleeding in. Yeah. When it's pitch black, I feel like totally lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did Burt's tour bus. Yeah. Yeah, I slept pretty good on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do like a wind chamber of a, of a, I like a fan. I like a, what they call the wind machine. Oh yeah. And it just, that's all you hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, is the leaf blower not cool? I dunno, I just feel like it'd be a warm heat. No, I don't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want like a, a chamber of oxygen that I could just lay in and just get real good oxygen. Okay. That's what I want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was called smelling salts. That's like, if you get knocked out or wherever they put that in there, they wake you up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I smelled it 20 years ago. Smelled what? I think my buddy had some. Oh yea?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you should do that and then do it till you throw up and then that goes on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crazy reaction to it. Let's do it again. I should have brought some in today. Let's put that in your, uh, what, what do you, what do you call that machine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you got Delete Me and they started deleting your show dates?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The club's like, oh, we never, we don't have anything. We thought you canceled your show. Who are you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I've put teeth in, I'll be honest with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This looks like a video game to me. I mean, it looks very good, but it looks like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, probably, I mean, it really is. It's like, who knows?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe in the future, every video they show us of the president is just AI. And we actually have no president.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some deep states just running the whole country. Maybe. Can you imagine something crazy like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that this guy is a complete genius and yet he's still eating McDonald's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As the, the thing is running, that's what I would think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like the printer. I think that's what it would be called.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are you stealing it out of the till though? I don't know. Maybe like it prints out and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I don't know. Cause see the drawer would be underneath the cash register.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My complaint is that the Nashville airport, clear is slower than pre-check. By the time I go through clear, I could have gone, so I don't even do clear in Nashville. I just use pre-check because it's not even, but it's like, yeah, if you're in that situation, like the Denver airport, clear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is what happened. I'll tell you what happened. I was in San Francisco one time years ago, doing Clusterfest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, they had me do this late show, and it ran me a lot longer than I wanted it to, and I was coming to meet you, I think, in, uh, some other place to do comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and I was like, I think I'm going to miss this flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a person from clear approached me and they said, Hey, if you sign up for clear right now, you can skip this whole line. And I was like, what? And so I was like, okay. And then they go and you can cancel, you know, in a few days, if you want, you don't even have to pay. So I go, okay. And then it's there like, Oh, we just got to do an eye scan. And I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know what? I didn't miss the flight. I don't know that I would have otherwise. It was still faster than that line. I mean, it was pretty rapid. And now I just didn't cancel and it just auto renews. And I'm like, when there's a lot of times that I'm like, Oh, this has just made life real easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all going that way. Minority reports.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I thought your rant was going to go a different direction because you're actually, you were, your complaint seemed to be more at the frequent traveler. See, I feel like I'm just encountering people all the time in the airport that never fly and it's not fair to them. They're confused. They don't fly a lot. They're like, where's my seat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But me, I'm like, I'm like ready, I know where, I mean I'm flying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's like, no, I don't think I'm better than the people, but I do think I'm more experienced and I should get some respect on this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yesterday at the airport, uh, uh, I'm flying and like there's a guy in a wheelchair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And his whole family, like eight people get to board the plane with him. I'm like, there is, that is completely unnecessary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't go cheap with the rental car. I feel like if you go enterprise, it's usually pretty fast. If you go budget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not everybody has a clear background check. You know, some people have made mistakes in their lives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The main benefit of the pre-check is that you don't have to take shoes off and you don't have to stand in the x-ray machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not. Maybe the airport employee checking you in TSA Pre would be available to help with general boarding if TSA Pre didn't exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't feel like it's not, it's not on me hurting anyone though. We're just moving right past you guys. What? We're just moving right past you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are, you know, I don't want to just stand around with people that can't get the latest technology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what they say is the last time this eclipse passed through on this similar path.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a hundred years ago. The one that I remember for a few years ago came from the north west down through the south. Oh, it did. This is making an X.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then, and then there was a lot of they say it was, this is just some people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of earthquakes followed some of the biggest earthquakes our country has ever seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that came on the path that this next one is about to come on. Gotcha. Okay. So like, Cape Girardeau should watch out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe the whole country though, I don't think it's saying just where the X comes. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's some kind of fault line around, around like the Mississippi river.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe this guy's coming after the earthquakes. Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I don't think this guy's faking it, eh? Cause he's not even saying anything, he's just saying this is weird looking.


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[Assistant] If you were like, this means the end of the world is coming. I think you'd be more on board. Well, yeah, but, uh, but, but, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it was just a weird looking thing that happened. Like the wind is blowing in such a way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's just like, wow, look how the wind caught this in a weird way.


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[Assistant] I think that's, I think there is a whole thing about the form right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally, but not with four people though. Well, you're right. Three people and depending on who you got and it's 3d printed, it's like, we can't just build it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That people off like my 600 pound life, I mean, they're like, they're already doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could go maybe an hour and I'll be like, I'm out. Let's try this as an experiment between us to see how long we can stand. I mean, you stand for an hour when you're doing comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a treadmill, and sometimes I'll do two miles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want, that's what I want. I want to take more stuff with me.


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[Assistant] So it was like, I had this great desktop and I'd be in a town for, you know, I'd be there four nights. So now I could watch YouTube, I could send emails, I could do, I could edit videos, I could do stuff on the road. Whereas if I didn't take it, I couldn't.


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[Assistant] Uh, this weekend I'm gonna be in Indianapolis at Helium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm doing three shows on Saturday. So if you.


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[Assistant] So they're all close to selling out, I think, cause I was like, they wanted to add the show and I was like, well, are all the other shows sold out? And they were like, well, they're very close. And I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know that we should be adding a show if they're not sold out, but they feel pretty confident in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we went ahead and added those and uh, Indianapolis has always been a hot city for me. I've been going there for years and years and years and I like Indianapolis. So my show's hot. I got a new hour and it's, I think it's better than my special. It's a hot hour and I feel good about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I do have a new one now, but this one was written for me. This is tough. And I hate it and I want it to disappear, but they never will.


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[Assistant] And I did that in 2019 also. So there's just a lot wrong with the bio. I don't think it mentions Netflix at all, not the half hour or the full hour that I have. Uh, it has, uh, it lists, uh, uh, Comedy Central's Clusterfest, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jimmy Kimmel Live, Last Comic Standing, nothing about doing The Tonight Show, which I've done four times.


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[Assistant] Um, and no Netflix hour. I don't even know that, uh, helium here is from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] or in my new hour, uh, and, uh, I don't even know that helium has put anywhere that I have a Netflix hour out here, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not hurting selling out these shows. So, but I wish that that bio would go away.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, this dude's been my best friend since I was a small child.


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[Assistant] Listen, I appreciate all the people that, people that come out to my shows are so nice. The Neatland people are so great when they come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nate land podcast is brought to you by draft Kings, Helix sleep, electric e-bikes and grand Canyon university.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to the Nate Land podcast 2024. I'm Nate Barghetti, uh, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay. All right. We did it. You're here. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome, new year, starting off fresh. Well, we already have one episode that came out that we recorded last year with Angela. But this is the first real 2024. But this is us together, first time, 2024.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I'm in the world. 2001 was pretty bad. That was odd year.


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[Assistant] Well, the way the world feels, I bet it's going to be awesome. Uh, seems like everybody's getting along.


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[Assistant] We're getting along. We're having fun. We are. We are having fun.


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[Assistant] That'd be, I would be wondering how many jobs, I had a lot of jobs too. Yeah, you probably.


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[Assistant] Well, we had, I had that with the water company. We're eating water. They would have been, that's what the plan was there to start a company. But yeah, I mean, I've delivered pizza, I've delivered.


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[Assistant] I wonder if two week notice is still around. Do people, they even care anymore? I would think people just quit now. When I got fired from my...


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[Assistant] I always wanted a job where I had an earpiece. I never got it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he did. That's the difference, man. Yeah. It's just like, I don't have a story where I say when I watched Obama speak, I'm just was never in, I was never within six miles of a president. Yeah. I mean, there's just, you're not going to be around like we weren't hanging.


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[Assistant] Someone from a powerful person. We're under the same roof.


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[Assistant] Versus, like, where, yea, where we're, I mean, I never had a job, you're like, no one's, you know, I went, we just delivered a washer and dryer to the Dixie chicks.


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[Assistant] That's pretty cool. All three of them? Now it's like they're a studio or something or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they had, it was, uh, it's the chicks now. Yeah. Yeah. It was like their music office or whatever or something. Okay. I forget. I remember delivering there. Probably platinum records on the wall. That's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doesn't even need secret service for you. They go, we feel so comfortable. We're going to put you in a room alone with Al Gore.


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[Assistant] Do you have a hotel? Could you walk back to the hotel or?


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[Assistant] Cause it is, there's, there's a person that wears a coat when it's cold, when they take it off, they have short sleep cause they're just gonna be, they somehow get so hot inside. Well, it was like, you know, usually I would, you have, if it's real cold outside, you have long sleeve.


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[Assistant] Both, but then, you know, there is people that would just have button down short sleeve shirt.


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[Assistant] They would say that in the mirror. Well, it's gonna be packed, so it's gonna be hot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, very fun birthday party. We had the velcro pygmies, uh, they're a cover band, uh, that is kind of a hair cover band. Yeah. There's me, Bates and like eighties hair. Yeah, we all dressed up and kind of an eighties kind of thing. And well, not everybody, not everybody here was wearing a cardigan. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It was, uh, yeah, the whole thing we, uh, we was at exit in, which if you know in Nashville is a kind of a, he's a very famous legendary rock venue. And, uh, yeah, a lot of people were there and it was really, really a fun, fun, uh, night. It was fun to get out and to play all the music Laura likes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's start you guys, uh, the Christmas Christmas traditions comments, Gabriel Hernandez, Aaron needs to be canceled for never seeing home alone and his dislike for rocking around the Christmas tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, Home Alone's super funny. Okay. I mean, it's just a great movie. It's just a fun movie. Next Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're great. Uh, what's his face? Daniel Stern? He's so funny. Yeah. So fun. They're really great. Yeah. Old blue arms.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's no one who want to eat it. What do you want to eat? Reese's Pieces? And you're like, no, I don't know. If you really look at that name, that's a very weird name for candy. So it's bizarre. But Reese's Pieces sounds, it's got to flow to it. It's got to flow. And I'm not worried about like taking someone's thing Reese's Pieces.


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[Assistant] Hershey's a good name. That's not, I know, but Ree, cause it's Reese's Pieces just is like, who's Reese?


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[Assistant] No one ever sees Reese. Yeaah. They don't put him on the wrapper. No one's ever talked about Reese. No one ever, we just go Reese's Pieces. You think it's a guy? I think it's, oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I want some Hershey Kisses.


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[Assistant] Why didn't you tell him earlier? I know.


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[Assistant] E.T. was big, but E.T. was, uh, but I mean, that came out in, you know, eighties.


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[Assistant] Did he do the cups? Oh yeah. Yeah. The cups were probably, yeah. The cups is what he got in for.


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[Assistant] So the idea of the PCs was to do what, like, small cups? Just try to do little M&M's.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but it's not even close to him. Well, yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, Josh Ellenberg, while listening to Christmas episode, Nick used the phrase, she could care less while talking about his daughter. While I love Nick, my gears began to grind after that comment. She couldn't care less would be the expression. Curious if you fellas have any expressions that get under your skin, cheers and how's your year go?


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[Assistant] See, I like it. I like worst come to worst. I like it because it makes me...


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[Assistant] It's like when you're about to solve, when you're about to work on a problem, you, I just, I will tend to go, what's the worst? The worst is this. So if that's the bottom, then it's like, well, if I'm not scared of that bottom, then I, then it's, then you can give it your all.


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[Assistant] I think it's, I say worst of the worst, or wait, worst of.


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[Assistant] Well, it's like, that's the, uh, yeah, it's probably the human aspect that you should learn to love to go like, yeah, that is interesting. Humans say, they don't say stuff grammarly. You know, when you're reading a book or something, it's, it's, that's what the book is for.


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[Assistant] What should they have said? To go boldly. Oh, to go boldly where no man is.


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[Assistant] I never watched Star Trek. You missing out? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] All right. The one eighties comments. Josh Stringer. I know it's Nate's podcast, so it makes sense that Brian did a year interview review for only Nate. Let's get her a review for everyone. Would also be cool to hear some goals and plans for 2024. Didn't you say some other reviews?


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[Assistant] Have you not been, you've been keeping it in for a year? I don't know. I was just.


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[Assistant] That's all we wanted. I don't know if you had to read more than that.


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[Assistant] They choose the only type of dining that absolutely requires the use of both hands. That's some tough luck. Good luck kids. We'll see you out the table.


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[Assistant] $1,200 if you go that. Oh yeaah. Like a, oh Charlie's.


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[Assistant] I remember when champion was dirt cheap. There's an episode of Seinfeld where the guy who shaved his head got depressed due to actual baldness. He had a champion shirt on, he had a champion shirt to show he gave up on life.


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[Assistant] Now Nate ends SNL on a champion hoodie with 37138 on it, complete 180. Yeah, that is crazy. Uh, yeah, it's good. Uh, yeah. Champion. I think champions is cool now, right? Right.


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[Assistant] You guys listened to all the worst parts about video stores with such a positive tone. Lack of options. Popular movies sold out. Late fees. Riding the tape. Sounds awful.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I mean, it was the frustrating things, but when you look back on stuff, the frustrating is usually what makes you as a person in general. And so that's why you look back on it with fondness, because you're like, yeaah, you were like, you had nothing to do versus, you should have some restriction in your life.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was the, you know, when you had to go there and you had to guess what time you like, you thought about a process, you thought, I mean, no, you didn't have phones. So you weren't just staring in onto, you know, any movie on earth. That's why.


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[Assistant] Take away, go look in Netflix. Netflix, you go sit there and you walk, aw jeez, things, you just flip. Any movie that's ever been made in the history of Earth, you can get to. Well now, now I don't watch anything, cause it's like, where is it gonna stop?


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[Assistant] Win. You think win? Sandra win? Wow.


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[Assistant] When? Wow. My dad would dub every single movie we rendered.


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[Assistant] Then he kept them organized with a checkout list for people who wanted to borrow them.


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[Assistant] Uh, the video store called to tell us that we accidentally returned our dubbed copy of the movie instead of their tape. My sister and I spent that time thinking our dad would face a $25,000 fine. Our five years in prison.


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[Assistant] Instead the video store happily gave my dad his bootleg copy back in exchange for their VHS. Yeah, I wonder if you really got that. That's very funny that I like to, you know.


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[Assistant] No, no, you just, you, I think you have two VCRs and so you would just, he'd rent it, record it and then, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, when would they, uh, when did they do this?


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[Assistant] Well, maybe it wasn't all. Well, no, 1902, that was.


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[Assistant] And they're putting y'all on the cover of it? Oh yeah. Well, not me, but uh, yeah.


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[Assistant] Isn't it like that? Ohio. He said, oh man. Yeah, yeah. It's like a little bit of that. So yeah, like a little.


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[Assistant] Everybody serious stuff right now. We got too many to watch.


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[Assistant] You're like, I mean, would you want to hear that? Tornada? That's what I'm saying. Tornada warning? I mean, no. Boys, there's a Tornada warning coming out right now and they're like, I don't know if this guy is serious.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's why the tour bus is all here. That's why, I always heard that's why country music was so big here. Cause all the singers and all the buses and everything would live here.


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[Assistant] I feel like it was probably because of the, you need to be near the water, the ocean, the breeze. Some more flat or something? Yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't know. It feels like he came from Ohio. He did. Uh, yeah. What do you know about that?


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[Assistant] It just felt, I don't know why. I don't even think cause he's fat. Tats felt to me like he came from Ohio.


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[Assistant] You think pneumonia was such a killer back then, you think they would take it a lot more serious.


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[Assistant] What an idiot. Yeah, come on dude. You're not impressing us.


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[Assistant] If he can't figure out that there's other floors, I don't imagine he knows all the bands.


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[Assistant] Right. I don't, I think he would have known as much as he, whether he went up there or not. It was the same experience.


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[Assistant] You look like one of the things they put behind the glass at the country music hall.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. They just show you, you're the mannequin.


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[Assistant] Look up that as I tell you about electric e-bike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We love the electric e-bike and all of you will too. Uh, we, it's awesome. It's fun to ride around. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, lucky you guys have quality featured filled models, financed as low as 49 per month. There's, I mean, they're just super fun. You just charge them right around. I mean, if you live in a neighborhood, it's just super easy to do. Uh, I mean, if you live in a city where you don't have like, I think this is how you're going to get around is all this stuff.


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[Assistant] They cost way less than the competition and are foldable, ship free and come fully assembled.


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[Assistant] Explore 2024 with electric e-bikes.


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[Assistant] The most accessible, adventurous e-bikes ever visit electric e-bikes.com to learn more and be sure to mention that Nate land sent you in the post checkout survey. That is L E C T R I C e-bikes.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it kind of funny that the first names, you know, now you got to change names because they're offensive and the first ones were like the least offensive?


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[Assistant] Apparently. And then they, then they, it's funny, then they changed and they're the ones that they've had, uh, cause the Indians in, is that it? Yeah. Yeah. And the, what are they now? The guardians? The guardians. Yeah. Bad. That's a bad name too.


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[Assistant] Uhm, it only lasted 25 years. It's a long time.


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[Assistant] You know, you look back, you're like, oh, barely made it. Then you're like, oh, just people.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're all, yeah, there's like a real, you're like, oh, okay. I didn't put a lot of thought into it.


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[Assistant] I mean, you couldn't go anywhere back then. So I think it was, you know.


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[Assistant] Dayton was probably gonna be, we were like, we're there, they're a big town. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Still a big town, but they're not, you know, you don't think of dating, dating flyers though.


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[Assistant] So what do y'all play? Like, 12 times? Y'all lost every time? I don't think it's, has it been 12 times?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't even, yeah. I mean this year, so a safety and a touch.


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[Assistant] The OSU. Yeah, which I've never heard.


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[Assistant] Hang on, Sloopy. And they're like, yeah, it seems like a mean bully song.


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[Assistant] I mean, I say my alma mater, my alma mater is my high school, and I think it's kind of fun to say it. I don't think I would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I was involved in your state community college, so I was probably over by you, right? Weren't y'all in here or something? Well, I was in Alabama. Oh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your day is full of to-do's, responsibilities, and balancing work with spending quality time with loved ones while finding time for yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With everything you have on your plate, earning your degree online seems impossible, but at Grand Canyon University they specialize in helping you fit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] GCU is an affordable private Christian university based in, uh, beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. Been there a bunch. Offering 330.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Academic programs with over 270 available online as of June 2023.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From scholarships to academic support, your GCU graduation team,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lead by your own university counselor, provides you with the personal support you need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your personalized plan and team can help you achieve your goals. Find your purpose at Grand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Canyon University Private Christian Affordable. Visit gcu.edu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea, Dave, where was I at? Where, Dave Grohl's from? He's from... He was at Saturday Night Live. He was set to go. Yea.


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[Assistant] Uh, no, but I was in a town where I was, cause I said, New York.


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[Assistant] No, no, no. No, I would say Dave Grohl's from the town. I was saying it as a joke on stage. I was like, I was in Peoria and I was like, Dave Grohl. I go, he's from here. And I would tell the city that. And they cheer. Well, they'd be like, oh.


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[Assistant] I mean outside of a president or like Taft, is it fun or is it not fun?


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[Assistant] They had the longest wooden roller coaster at the time. Outside of Cincinnati, right? And what's the big one?


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[Assistant] Cedar Point. I've never been to Cedar Point, but that had the one that's the craziest, they had the craziest roller coasters.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so this week I'm in Columbus. I'm in Cincinnati.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, yeah, these shows coming up, they're all being the round. So two in Columbus, then Cincinnati and Charlotte. Nationwide arena. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be, it's, uh, going to be a wild run.


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[Assistant] Not till July. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is the big, this is the second half of the be funny. You've had some good time off some rest time. Yeah. I've had some rest, uh, special somewhere in there along the way. And, uh,


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[Assistant] And then yeah, the fall and I think being 25, I'll be kind of chilled out. And, uh, and then I think, you know, sometime in 25, we'll probably start another tour.


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[Assistant] Uh, all right. That's it. Uh, I hope you guys, your 2024 is off to a, uh, a running start and, uh, we will see you, uh, next week, I guess. Yes, as always. All right. We love you. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I figured you just want a different path every time to keep them from tracing.


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[Assistant] I don't support Georgia Tech because they beat up on Cumberland a little, a little too much in football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone posted on the, I think the fan page, I can't remember, were you in Tampa?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can too. I can't remember if it was Atlanta or Tampa that somehow the arena messed up the seating. They had like 10th row center.


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[Assistant] They're whatever seat they had, it didn't exist and they posted their photo and they were off to the side in a corner, like up high.


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[Assistant] They weren't blaming you, they were blaming the arena. They were actually cool about it. Like, this is kind of crazy.


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[Assistant] Well, I was a little bit different. I was on the, I'm still on the Christmas party circuit. I did do a show.


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[Assistant] Yesterday in Knoxville at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.


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[Assistant] Don't try doing a show at three o'clock in the afternoon in Knoxville. You cannot sell tickets there.


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[Assistant] Why? Why? Because didn't you just do that? Yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. I just did it. And sold it out? Yeaah. Now, I was open for, uh, Karen Mills and she basically sold out the Bijou Theater and it was a great show. It was a great show and, um, so that's where I was.


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[Assistant] This is, uh, our last episode of the year where we're all together because we got to do some episodes where some of us can't be here.


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[Assistant] And one of my predictions for 2023 was that you do a one hour special and put it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Nate, in retrospect, I wasn't even thinking about it. I said you'd win a Grammy for Hello World, which.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way that, that it came out, you wouldn't even have been nominated this year.


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[Assistant] My prediction for you for 2024 is you'll star in a movie. Now it won't be out in 2024, but you'll at least shoot it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't help to notice you're wearing Viori. I am. As am I. We all love Viori.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Viori can be worn for any activity like running, training, yoga.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like you want to tell me something. No, I just, I do all those things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The website's very easy to order from. It's not cluttered or busy. Seriously folks order something today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Viori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's V U O R I dot com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to Viori.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viori clothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got over, almost 600 just on YouTube. By far the most comments we've ever gotten on an episode. For which episode? Mythical Creature. Really? We barely even talked about a mythical creature.


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[Assistant] But a lot of times there'll be a conspiracy video where you see something and then the government will say, no, that's just something else. And you'll say, ah, they're probably covering it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it seemed like that town would want that to exist. So tourists would come see it.


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[Assistant] They have safari, they have elephants, have lions, things like that. They make a lot of money off people coming there to go on these safaris. So if you have some new creature that no one's ever seen, you make a ton of money. Okay.


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[Assistant] I think there's another kind of North American Loch Ness monster.


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[Assistant] Jump in there, but I'm here for you today. I'm ready to fin you. I agreed with you about we should be doing space exploration.


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[Assistant] I didn't agree that the focus should be 4.5 billion years for the sun.


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[Assistant] But I kind of understand what you're saying now because everybody was like, Aaron, if the sun explodes, Mars.


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[Assistant] Well, now we're going to send people back soon.


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[Assistant] Pizza hat on now. This is assistant over there. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. So they got it locked down. They probably are like. Yeaah. Guys, didn't you suggest maybe you went through like a tunnel or something out in the ocean? Yeaah, who knows what's going on?


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[Assistant] If Flockness is there, this TV people would love to find it.


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[Assistant] I guess if it's just one episode on the Loch Ness, they don't care.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was going to say that for the next comment, but we'll go ahead and look at this if you want. Um, the next comment.


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[Assistant] Mike Hunt says, Brian is severely underestimating how much soccer players have to run even when they're not near the ball. Here's Messi this weekend.


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[Assistant] It's the- I know that's why you picked the worst one possible. Swimmin' stuff.


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[Assistant] Okay. Because they said, you just gotta go 10 yards and they'd have to cover you. Just don't throw it to him. And I don't know about that, dude.


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[Assistant] Yeah, football might not be- I would never fumble though, because whenever they-


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[Assistant] Try to determine if that was a catch or not. They always like, he didn't make a football move.


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[Assistant] What I'd like to see is the goalie first and goal with one.


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[Assistant] There's a few that now there's a whole pseudoscience called cryptozoology. A cryptid. You're going to.


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[Assistant] There's a Cryptozoology and Paranormal Museum in Littleton, North Carolina.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, so these people are out on a paddle board, I guess, or whatever. And, and then they see these things out there and they're kind of like, uh, some type of monkey with


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[Assistant] Crazy legs and we don't have audio but they're, they're basically playing music.


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[Assistant] Now I didn't watch the whole video you sent me, but the explanations given is it was some type of performance art piece and those were people in costume.


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[Assistant] Well, I think they're talking about one of the guys in the boat that sees it.


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[Assistant] It's like kind of freaking out, so they're saying if this is a performance where everybody's in on it, that guy is not playing his part well.


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[Assistant] It would be fun. There's a, uh,


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[Assistant] Native American tribe that talked about these group of giants that all had red hair.


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[Assistant] And they said they, legend was they would fight, fight these giants. This was in Nevada.


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[Assistant] And of course people just thought it was myth and legend. And I mean, a lot of people still do, but then in like 1911 they found, uh,


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[Assistant] Giant skulls and remains in a cave in Lovelock, Nevada.


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[Assistant] Right where this tribe lived and they found red hair and they found a bunch of other like giant footprints and things like that. So, uh, there's a lot of evidence that maybe there was something to these legends.


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[Assistant] I've watched a History Channel video, which is weird to me, the History Channel is even getting into the...


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[Assistant] Yeah. They were like, it was nine feet tall and all this stuff, but Dusty, I figured you'd be more on board with the native Americans.


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[Assistant] When troops were in Afghanistan, the story is a troop, a whole group.


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[Assistant] Uh, then what happened to him after that, nobody knows, but legend is that, you know, this troops in Afghanistan found this giant a cave.


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[Assistant] Well, I am because we have fossils of those things. We have nothing.


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[Assistant] What were you trying to say, that rule evolve to the point where it'll just take care of itself?


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[Assistant] Well, figure your way out is what he's saying. You start going to other planets and you live somewhere else.


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[Assistant] That's true. I'm behind on my ads. So Aaron, you want to tell us about delete me?


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[Assistant] Yeah. Okay. It's not here. All right. Well, you're supposed to according to my list.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think Mexico is where it's prominent. This did not, I would have thought this has been around for maybe hundreds of years, the legend and maybe it has in some ways, but 1995.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so people turn up with their, pretty much that, their livestock killed goats and something that there was holes where something had bit them and sucked blood out of them. And now I read where.


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[Assistant] The woman who first claimed this Chupacabra was in Puerto Rico and she just watched the movie Species, which has an animal that looks exactly like that.


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[Assistant] And she was a little delusional and thought that that was like a real thing, the movie. So.


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[Assistant] Hold on, uh, you might say the government is trying to make her look crazy.


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[Assistant] But maybe that's what the government's saying she did to try to discredit her.


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[Assistant] Now there was a video. Do you have the video of the Chupacabra from last week? Yea, I think you said it. Here we go. This will get to the bottom of it right here.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're talking about bringing animals back that have gone extinct.


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[Assistant] I mean, I think from our previous episode, we talked about it and...


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[Assistant] Talk about breeding just two really hairy elephants.