[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where people are talking about books. I do like books, I do read books, but what I find-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dull is, is those conversations about books. And Wheel of Time is the classic. Someone will start talking about it and everyone will start talking about how great it is and they'll wank on and on about it and they'll talk about some characters that you've never heard of and it goes on forever, much like the book series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just goes on and on and on. And I think, at least with a movie, there's a, you know, there's so many books out there and they're so fucking long. I do understand what that guy's saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was bored to tears and I thought the dialogue was fucking awful. I'm sorry, fans of this, the books. I really thought it was laughably bad dialogue and just, I couldn't get into it at all. If that had been the only book I'd read, I'd think books suck. I get it. I get it. I actually understand where that guy's coming from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That in, in Russian, uh, like a name will have like eight nicknames associated with that name, and you just kind of have to know. And you have to, like she said, there's a lot of thumbing back and forth and trying to figure out, because there'll be like three characters called Alexandra or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, you've gotta try and figure out what the fuck's going on quite a lot. She said it's a real bugger to read, for that reason. And there are other books, like, uh, what is it? Finnegan's Wake, and stuff like that, that have just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Red Rising books, the original trilogy, I read all those so quickly that I actually didn't take in to the long term memory the stuff that happened. And when I came to read Iron Gold, I got like two pages in and I'd completely forgotten every single character in the entire thing. So I gave up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, I'm actually super wrong criticizing this guy, um, but I definitely wouldn't write off books. That's a failure on my part to be terrible at remembering things. Cause you're right, I've had conversations with people where they're about Red Rising, like, what about so-and-so? Who's your favorite character? What about that bear? And yeah, and the same thing. I didn't analyze it to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I read the article about that, I think it was in the Guardian, might have been the New York Times, years ago, that essentially they realized that they couldn't just have one person keep winning this, but the company that was responsible, I think this is right, correct me if I'm wrong, Lewis, they were like getting people at the company, they were giving them the winning tickets and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, uh, loot boxes. You buy a, you buy a fries and then suddenly you've got a loot box on the side of it and you get to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, I got another show to recommend. I got another show to recommend. That I just finished last night. Uh, Schitt's Creek? You guys watch this show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, so it's Eugene Levy and his son and his daughter are in it. Uhm, honestly, I know I spoke about it last week. I've been caning it this week. Like, I've been- It gets better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very funny, it's very moving, uhm, it's, uh, it's beautiful. There's only six seasons of it. They created these excellent characters, uhm, and it's just, it's just a wonderful show. I really, really enjoyed it. Like, start to finish. It never tails off, there's honestly not a bad episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But honestly, the first two or three episodes, I wasn't into it. I really wasn't. And Mrs. F made me persist. And it was, it was fantastic. I absolutely loved it. So yea, give it a try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone that just stands out where you're like, oh shit, this guy's good. It can be such a subtle difference between...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And cows. So, uhm, as ugly as homemade soap, which is a very specific insult to use on someone. Homemade soap. Which I quite like. Tighter than bark on a tree means you're very stingy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was like a weapon. Just bones, just bones and like very lean, small amount of muscle that was there was very distinct. Cause there was no fat, my body fat was like zero. When I look at myself now, I think, I didn't, like I don't eat that badly, you know, I'm not like a complete slob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one yesterday, a text message, that said to me, Helen, let me find it for you. This was supposedly from the Royal Mail. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From just a random number, which is always gonna be bullshit. Royal-mail. Your parcel is waiting for delivery. Please confirm the settlement of 199 on the following link. Remember to link to rm-uk-delivery1.com. And I'm thinking, okay, so that's a load of absolute bollocks, but there's so many of them now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To most people, they'd think, oh, yeaah, I know what that is. Cause especially during lockdown, everybody's ordering stuff all the time. So you could easily fall for that. And it's probably just a cheap way for them to get two quid. And if they just send it out to every bugger, you know, enough people are gonna fall for it. It's just, this kind of stuff is out there, man. Like this, this phishing. And a lot of these marketing things, I don't think are much different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Properly, properly listening, not just sort of waiting for your turn to talk sort of thing. So I think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean, jeez, I look people in the eye quite often, but when I think about it, I look my kids in the eye a lot. Kids really do look you right in the eye when they talk to you. It can be about anything. Yeah. And they really look right at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you, you look right back at them. And there's no, it's your kids. So there's no sort of discomfort there. But it's, it's as you get older, I think, you start to doubt yourself in a more, uh, metaphysical way. And maybe that's why people tend to look away. It's easier to just talk when you're not looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So having a machine tell me, no, no, don't be stupid. It's normal that that's just like instantly calms me down. So that is a very real, but that's, I think that's linked to anxiety more than just an awareness of your heartbeat. Some of these aren't emotions. Like the underlying emotion there is anxiety about something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, there's a TED talk by Brene Brown, and she does, she's like a, sort of psychological, sort of researcher, and she analyzes like, um, human emotions and stuff like that. She's got some really good talks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like being under a balcony or some awning, and it's pissing it down, and there's lightning and thunder, and you're sitting there close to it, but not in it. That is very satisfying. Because you can smell the rain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it the last Sunday in March, or is it the last Sunday in April, or the first Sunday in April? Or is it the third Tuesday after Pentecostal Grunsday? It's like a fucking float.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was a kid, I don't know if this was the case for you guys, Easter was when I got chocolate in a large enough quantity that I felt secure. You know what I mean? It was like, oh, I've got enough chocolate now to last me a while, I've got like a stash. If it wasn't Easter, or Christmas... Like a squirrel, but it's like got a supply of nuts. Literally, this is my harvest now, we must, we must, look how


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but let me tell you something. It's so good, dude. It is so fucking good. Like Tony Chocolonely. The branding kinda makes it look like one of the Willy Wonka bars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sugar addiction is a real thing, your body craves it, and I think a lot of people would still buy the chocolate. I don't think it would affect sales that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a big report on the news last night about, uh, people who just fucking didn't give a shit, met up, had these huge parties. It happened all over the place. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People don't listen, right? So for example, a friend of mine said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they thought they already had COVID because they had a bit of a sniffle in March, so they think they're cool. They think they've had it. And I said, well, you'll know when you've got it because you'll be sicker than you've ever been in your life. It's fucking horrible. And everybody's wading in in the comments with, oh no, no, no, it affects different people differently actually. And I'm thinking that's become...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's funny, but uhm, my dad always used to say when we were talking about uhm, like whenever I go to Seaman Estates, there's a lot of driving because it's America, right? So you know, you're chatting and stuff like that. We were listening to the radio and there was some news thing about how, uh, the police had caught some guy with like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he gets busted because he's like, chair light sharp, and then he's like, yea sure thing officer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But my dad was like, well, if you're gonna break big laws, you're gonna break the small ones too. So these guys who are willing to potentially spend the rest of their lives in jail to smuggle a load of drugs aren't gonna be fucking signaling before a turn. They've already abandoned laws. They've opted out of the whole law thing in society.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a big dog. My dog weighs twenty kilos, I think. Jeez. Well, you do see him. Oh yea, how is your dog doing? Oh, Aggie, she's great. Nice. She's uh, she's involved currently in a long, ongoing power struggle regarding the sofa. Right, right. So, she understands that the ranking in the house goes...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's fond of the girls, you know, she doesn't go as nuts for them as she does for me and Mrs. F. They do feed her most of the time, so she's starting to begrudging respect, and they do walk her and stuff like that, but you can just tell...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very Game of Thrones in her little mind. So I sit on the sofa and she wants to sit next to me and she lies lengthways next to my legs and she like snuggles in and she's like very happy and she looks up at me and I have to pet her and when I stop petting her she looks up at me sadly again so I have to basically this is like her time for me to pet her on the sofa she loves it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so she will sit there and stare or she'll get up on the sofa and look at my daughter and me with this sort of horrified look and then she'll gradually try and creep and if a gap opens up between us it's like even an inch, she'll try and leap in there and like shove my daughter out of the way with her legs and stuff, it's uh, I don't let her do it because I don't want her to do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just, like, I remember this did happen, and, and certainly my, my eldest never tried this, cause she's just kind of, she's always been, if she's got a problem, she'll keep it to herself for weeks, until she suddenly realizes, nah, I actually can't solve this, and then she'll come to you. So she'll be like, three weeks ago, so-and-so said this, what do I do about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, you gotta look for help sometimes. My youngest is the opposite. So she'll just decide, she goes through these phases where she decides she's had a nightmare and she needs to sleep in with me and Mrs. F. Sometimes we let her. She's pretty good. She'll stay quite still and go to sleep. My eldest, whenever, when she was a very little, she used to sometimes sleep in with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now it's got this sky crane thing, which is like this rocket propelled landing craft that lowers the Perseverance down onto the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, like, I think this would be huge. Very unlikely, but let's say they found some that were still, they were able to somehow extract, not with this mission, but in the future, extract some DNA from one of these things, somehow. Like if they found one that wasn't maybe even still alive down there in the ice, you never know. If the DNA was the same as


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Earth DNA, I think it would give us a really good idea of where life may have come from on the planet, because one of the theories is that some comet came through and deposited organic


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To travel faster than the speed of light, right? It's impossible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like Tarkov desync but with the speed of light and causality and cause and effect. So I think that would be an issue. And also there are also physical constraints on the fact that travelling that fast requires so much bucking energy. Like even travelling at like 6% of the speed of light is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, here's the thing, you've heard about planet X or whatever it's called, right? I'm not talking about that ridiculous, what is it called, Nibiru shit where there's an exoplanet headed here. What they're saying is that the way that the outer planets, so Pluto and whatever the other shitty dwarf planets that nobody cares about in the suburbs of the solar system out there,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My first thought was, ah, so when we unlock the black hole wormhole technology, luckily our solar system comes equipped with a miniature black hole, perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so, alright. So, complete change of subject here. But uhm, I was watching a film called Witness, which is a Harrison Ford film, 80s film, very good movie, uhm, about a guy who, uhm, he's a cop, it's about a bunch of corrupt cops, and this little kid, this little armist kid witnesses a murder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he's, when he's on a trip to Baltimore and then he has to be protected by Harrison Ford because the corrupt police know they were the ones who did the murder sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So one of the problems is sometimes you get moisture, obviously getting into the silo, it's not airtight, a lot of them, and that causes a sort of crust of grain on top, and when you're stamping on the grain to sort of get it down, uh, that can break and you can become engulfed, um, in the grain. So there's, there might be a void in the grain below that where you're jumping up and down,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the grain acts a little bit like a liquid and then it kind of flows and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's also quite different. The pressure is very strange. Uhm, if you get into the grain up to your knees, just up to your knees, uhm, with some difficulty, you'll be able to extract yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay? Any higher than that, up to the waist, you're gonna need another person, at least one other person to help you. And any higher than that, and it's a full on rescue, special equipment, everything like that. Just up to your neck in grain, they won't be able to get you out. Because if you, you know, it's like digging in dry sand, you try and move the grain, of course more just flows in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they have this big tube of metal that they put around you, and they build it in parts, so it's like a four-stage thing, and they push that down into the grain, then they dig the grain out, and then they can pull you out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But come on, there was a lot of hubris around the Titanic, it's unsinkable, I would never have got on a ship that they claimed was unsinkable in a million fucking years, that's just asking for trouble, dare I say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then there was the the Salang tunnel fire in Afghanistan during the Soviet-Afghan war. There was this fire in a tunnel. A lot of tunnel fires.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the whole thing just fell, blam, and killed a whole bunch of people. Jeez. That's the kind of thing, like, you could be there, on fucking holiday, and a building falls on you, like, well, you know, you could be working day in day out in some miserable clothes factory, and you're forced to go into work, and the fucking building falls, you know, so those are all- I see cracks on the side of every building. And these were big cracks. These were big cracks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Soviets have not really, in very typical Russian fashion,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of the Soviet fashion anyway. They have not released specific details. They're like, oh, it was just an accident.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Afghans were claiming that they set off a bomb in the tunnel, and this was like a chain reaction of things exploding, and to make it worth, the Soviets put tanks at either end of the tunnel because they thought some insurgents might get out that had started this, so no one was allowed to leave, and there's smoke everywhere,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ship starts to sink, the oil tank is going down as well, fire breaks out, the ocean is on fire, and people have to jump off the ship into the burning ocean, which is also shark-infested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was the worst one that I could find, because it just felt like everything went wrong, and you could imagine people like, we'll put on the lifejackets. Ooh, we've locked them away and we can't find the key. Uh, why have the lights gone out? Because we're incompetent. Let's call for help. The radio's broken and we haven't got one anyway. Waaah! Just, how, how fucking awful. Can you get-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you go looking, you'll find all of these, and they're always like, here we still talk about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was that one, the, uh, Potter's Bar crash, uh, train crash a few years ago. People still talk about that. And we talk about, you know, crash. I mean, obviously if we take terrorist attacks out of the equation when it comes to disasters, they tend to live long in our memory if they're local, but they also tend not to have like a thousand people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason we have it is because we've been through this shit, and they don't have it, and now you've got people jumping into shark-infested waters to be barbecued.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, here's another one for ya. Shits Creek. Have you seen that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's like this, she used to be an actress, so the setup is that they were a very wealthy family, laid low by the IRS who'd taken all their money away, and now they've gone to the only place that they have, which is that they bought this town, Schitt's Creek. The father bought it because he thought it was funny, he just bought it as a joke for his son. But they actually do own the town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's so much, you know, for a modern man, you know, to deal with digitally. You know, because AI and Dogecoin and uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you go to the garden centre there? Is that what's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for sure. We had a greenhouse as a kid and I remember my parents would grow, grow tomatoes, things in there. Yeah. It was a big part of my, my childhood having a garden and having kind of strawberry patches and a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Raspberry bush and I don't know, various other bits and bobs around the garden that I'd be sent out to sort of do not first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was kind of just a fun thing really. It was never anything like a big, like any kind of scale. We never had enough to give to anyone else or barely enough to eat ourselves really, but it was kind of this thing just, it was nice I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I went to garden centre this week as well weirdly. Um, there's one up the end of the harbour that I didn't realise was there. It's like hidden behind. I bought a little cactus in a pot, um, a little indoor. It was just cute looking. It's just enough. Yeah. I've actually, I've actually got it here on the desk, but it's like, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a lot of bugs in your, in your, in your, I guess in your, yeah, in your carriage. No, there are tons actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you sure you don't need to like chuck a few in there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is what happens. The calling, you're being called to the country and then when you get over 60 you'll start being called to the seaside. Right. That's what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've kind of spent quite a lot of time pimping your place out though to suit yourself. And I think having to be confronted with doing that again feels like an insurmountable challenge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's, you know. The unexpected extra one. Yeah. Well, I think you've pretty much expected it. And they're not too, too far apart in age, are they? No, yeah. Seven years? Yeah, they'll be able to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm glad I don't live in some gigantic mansion, because with COVID it would have just fallen into disrepair, do you know what I mean? Like I live in like a two bed apartment and it's nice to be able to, it's easy to clean, you know, it's just like once a week I keep at Hoover and too tired to do the bathrooms, it's like not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like a lot of hassle. Obviously like I just, I like the idea that I see a lot of these YouTubers living in gigantic mansions, right? And I just think what, what happened? What happened?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happens to you in Covid in there on your own for a year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my whole life has kind of been on the computer anyway. Ever since I was, you know, ever since I had my first PC, I kind of felt like it was, it was, it was, it was everything from TV to books to everything I would kind of do at the computer. So it wasn't like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This last year's been that different, really, in a sense, to the rest of my existence. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I just, I understand, talking about gaming and stuff and you know, what defines a gamer. I was talking about the guys with this this week because it's like, do you guys consider yourself gamers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I'm someone who plays hundreds of hours of games a week, and I wouldn't consider myself a gamer, because I think that terminology refers to someone who plays FIFA on the sofa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, I guess if, if, if we're just using the term to refer to someone who plays games, but also though, I feel like I'm not immersed in gaming culture. I've never, I've never really played Pokemon. I had a look at the first one, or one of the first ones back in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These things, the culture of gaming, if you, if you like, I mean, this is a kind of supposed to be a gaming podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well. But, but I feel like I'm just, if I was called to do any kind of quiz about gaming, I'd be terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the same topic, this week, I was playing some Magic the Gathering, right? Because there's a new expansion, it's like Hogwarts basically, and they've launched the Magic the Gathering Arena app on the iPad, which I've had so many adverts for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I hate Magic the Gathering. Uhm, I really hate it. It's a game that is, that is just unfortunately pinned to its original design from 1996 when games were quite different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's stuck around and not innovated out of its.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically what I'm trying to say is, I don't like, one of the core mechanics of Magic the Gathering, which Hearthstone fixed and became hugely successful off of, which is the idea that your lands are mixed into your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, all the other way around, or you get flooded. And it's a part of budget gathering, and sure, like, people can fix it, and you're supposed to fix it, and blah blah blah, and everyone's going, oh well you just build your deck in a way that makes sure you get lots of land, and blah blah blah blah, and all that garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a failing of the game. And unfortunately for me, it happens too much that it really ruins the fun, I think. It really ruins the whole game, for me. And also, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically the rules that we have are we have a separate pile of lands, a separate deck of lands and a separate deck of, so you have the two decks. And so when you're on your draw phase or whenever it says draw, you can choose to draw from either pile, right? And obviously this does change some of the balance of cards, but mostly we don't play


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, sort of fixed decks, we usually draft or stuff like that. And obviously when you're drafting cards, it's all completely, you might get like a really amazing bomb card or like a terrible


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That that is the most heretical thing to do, right? Cause the game developers know best, and blah blah blah blah blah, and all this crap. And I do it all the time though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the time. I'm one of these people who is constantly just saying, oh, let's try, let's try this, this game without this rule or like the house rules. Everyone has house rules for stuff and they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I think that there's, to some extent there's a bit of that, but I think that most developers are open to people challenging them and changing the game and playing them how they want and whatever. But I think I run into this all the time and people say, oh no, this is how it should be played.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And not that I, if anyone's gonna argue with me, I would usually just be like, no problem, like let's just do it the standard way, I don't mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, I just think it's more fun this way. It's more interesting this way these rules work and you find them quite quickly. And I think there is this idea that the original developers way of doing it is the best. And in fact, often it's not. I think developers are like a lot of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For example, like at GDC, for example, I talked to some game developer and he'd be like, oh, so this game does this, this and this. And I'd be like, oh, right. So it's like, um, it's like that bit in Slay the Spire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, what, what? And I'd be like, yes, Slay the Spy. So it's a bit like that bit. And he's like, oh, I've never played that. And I'm like, you're developing a game which is exactly like another game in the world of gaming and you haven't played one of the most popular games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, and that's that, but that's why I think that, you know, these guys are, and these games are fallible. These developers, these, these game modes. When I say game, I mean rules, I guess. I mean, I mean like the way it's set up. Like for example, proximity chat in a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's often there because it's the easiest way for the developer to put voice chat into their game, right? They've got two options, either everyone's broadcasting all the time to each other or it's prox based. And so they've put it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we, we often play on, like we played Trouble in Terrorist Town on Discord, and we don't have ProxChat. And it works fine, because we kind of ended up adjusting the rules to that setting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, Warhammer. And, I mean, if I had to name like two of the biggest franchises in gaming, they are Magic the Gathering and Warhammer, you know, they are huge franchises, right? They are massively successful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they are at their heart supposed to be, have a game. I mean, but they're not really, are they? Both Magic the Gatherer and Warhammer are about selling toys, selling cards, building a collection, collecting things. The game is kind of there as this adjunct, right? And it's not very good, and it's never been good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it can't change, because too many people are like, this game's really, I mean, perfect, this game's perfect, it can't change the game. Uh, and so, like Warhammer was the perfect example of a terrible


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, you know, I sort of, it was, it was okay. I didn't really understand it. She was trying to avoid saying that she didn't like it, right? And she had a bad time because Warhammer is a bad time. It's a bad game. It's a shallow


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a shallow, shallow game. It's skin deep and the complexity comes from a vast amount. It's like, it's like an ocean of complexity, but it's only a millimetre deep, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the time, these, talking about war, I mean, this is where war games come from, right? Even like, you know, Julius Caesar and, you know, the Romans would come.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Warhammer obviously make a lot of different games, but I think it is supposed to be this epic miniatures simulation, rather like a train set, you know, rather like a kind of historical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's grand thing, but as a result, it kind of, it just becomes not, there's a lack of strategy, there's a lack of things that we're used to in games. We're used to making decisions and I think this, I think Warhammer is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it is interesting. Like the people are so protective. I think mostly on the internet, you know, because they love their game and the game that they've spent a long time learning and they want to see that game continue and be changed and be updated in the same way that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is it, so you're right, so this is, I know why I'm feeling like this all this week, it's because I just played that voxel tycoon that came out on steam. Let me guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I probably, when I was a kid, played and still did play a lot of games that I have a very rosy, nostalgic view of. Like, obviously some of them are, I still think are fantastic games, like Here Is My Magic 2 and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, um, uh, uh, uh, LXCOM games, stuff like this, you know, stuff that burns colonization, some of the old Civ games, you know, and people might think now when they look at them are unplayable or terrible games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so Voxel Tycoon came out and it's basically Open Transport Tycoon Deluxe, which is the classic Sid Meier's game, but they've also built in Factorio a little bit in there. So you can sort of build, you can, you can ship your iron ore to a little warehouse and then you can convey about it out of the warehouse into a smeltery, smelt it into iron and take that to a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's quite a few frustrating things about the game, which took me like a couple of failed playthroughs to learn. Like I spent the first, I had to restart I think three times because something screwed me every time. Like one was that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to just give you a warning about that because the lag gets pretty bad if you have too many buildings in one place and so at a certain point if you're not careful it will become unplayable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is cool. It's so big and the scale's really great. You know, you feel dwarfed by your gigantic machines and space elevator. It is really nice. Yeah, I'm surprised. So tier 5 is like, you've still got some serious work to do and it gets a lot more complicated now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you basically have to pull together these huge amounts of material from disparate places. Which is, you need trains really, pretty, pretty, like, pretty pronto. Yeah, I'm about to unlock them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is an acquired taste. It is definitely. I, I liked, I liked Wasteland 2 and I, I couldn't get into Wasteland 3. It was just too, there was something missing about the tone of it. It was all just a bit, there was something, ah, it just didn't feel right. It didn't feel good. It felt like it was boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are throwing out some really hot takes today on stuff where we, and I think so many people, even in this very Discord channel chat that we have right now, have, have got disagreements, but that's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the thing, if you don't like the book you're reading, just pick another fucking book up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a huge area to like, oh not the sandy one, not the big, not the sandy desert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, that's, that's, uh, it feels like when you're playing games like Diablo and Path of Exile, or some of these, or Dota, like you're just constantly like rushing to do the next thing, right? And it's constantly this, you don't have time to think about how your character looks often. You don't really care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's not, you don't have a long time to tweak your, your, you know, if the, if you spend like two hours decorating your factory, it feels like, it feels like the idea of dedicating that time is, is a waste of time. You know, for some types of player, but some people,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a beautiful cloverleaf pattern, but actually in reality to live there is just awful because there's not enough facilities, everything's too far away, the traffic is terrible, you know, there's this one roundabout at the centre that everyone has to go around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there is beauty in, like, function to some degree. Like, you know, like, the factorio, you know, sure, you have to build these factories that are very specific and require things to, like, it's like being a circuit board. You know, a circuit board


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely, the optimal pattern is not necessarily going to be something that's symmetrical or shapes in it that are like in nature, necessarily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they get a lot of fun out of that. Going back to what you said about going to Dorset and like seeing nature and how beautiful that is, often that is not. That's very random. The trees and the sort of hills and the sort of way the world is generated, like almost said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, shit. So no, I'll be going back to this planned London with its hard edges and its kind of squared off sort of systems. Or an American grid city plonked down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like in a sense, you know, still considered like an array of, a very standard array. You know, I've seen like these geometrical patterns that look very


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, as artwork on walls, you know, that look very beautiful. And I've seen things that look like these modern art, which are just so random splodges of paint that, you know, you could think, oh, that looks beautiful. Isn't it strange how


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can see beauty in all sorts of different shapes and things, you know, from entirely random to, you know, chaotic to entirely organized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was too, yeah, my brain was overloading a bit there. Anyway, it's very good to talk to you guys and keep up with all of what you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think, like, the pubs need to change to, like, accommodate people's new, you know, new normal? Instead of being at the pub, they've been at home in their pajamas, eating cheese on toast, and you know, do you reckon pubs need to start catering for that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of just, it's kind of just forced people to bring themselves up to date with the latest sort of systems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went and got like a rice bowl yesterday and you know, there used to be this kind of dingy kind of cafe where you'd order and they're from a person and now the doors even shut and they've just got a little table outside and an iPad on it and you just put your order in and you have to beep your card on the iPad


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe. I don't know whether it helps the other person though. If you're working retail, you know, those, those little interactions probably grind you down in the, in the way that you, you, you don't experience as a, as a customer, you know. Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's it. Alright. Thanks everyone for listening. Uh, that's us today from, from Shorts. Fucking Salty. Yeah. I don't know whether that's you or me, P-Flex. Mr. Computer Deliveries, man. I'll take it. And Gamer. Gamer. Gamer. Self-loathing Gamer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looking tip top, not looking tight or fresh, really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that? It's grumpy. Isn't that like a type of cider or something? It is. It gets you proper fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After Prince Philip died, Prince Charles came out of one of his houses and made a little brief statement and referred to him as my dear Papa, which is, uh, which is, uh, kind of, I don't know how to feel about it actually. Like it's on the one hand, it's kind of like, oh, you know, whatever, like that's his dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But on the other hand, who calls their dad, dear papa, like, uh, other than the royal family, you know what I mean? Like, it's just such a, such a, an upper, upper, upper, upper class thing to say, right? I wouldn't know a single person who would ever refer to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, listen to this though, okay? I like, on the topic of it being 99, and I was thinking about this, cause of course, uh, uh, Rap Superstar DMX also passed away on the same day. He was 99 as well. He lived a good life. He was not 99, uh, correction, he was 50, which is pretty young actually to, to, uh, to die. Wow. He's had some, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he had issues with, uh, with, uh, drugs and, uh, addiction, like, uh, pretty much his whole life and stuff. And a couple of years ago, he, uh, he almost died as well. I think 2016, he just, in a parking lot in New York, just stopped breathing for a time. Uhm, and, uh, people were kind of worried about him then as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but interesting to think, uh, DMX had died at 50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's insane, right? Like, he's already kind of like pretty old, and uh, and DMX is only just a little, little babby, and then goes on to live 50 years, and then Prince Philip and him die on the same day. Rich life, filled with hip hop and drugs, probably. Yeah, and uhm, you know, hanging out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well that was arguably his, like, biggest song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pissy-pissy-crissy? Little pissy-pissy-piss pants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was probably a time where all he wanted was to be, uhm, king, and then he's probably now that he's older, I mean, I don't know him, obviously, and I have no insight into this whatsoever. I'm just pulling this right out of thin air, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just see if you can get past like the, uh, the anti-pleb devices that they have installed on their properties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but no, I, like, if I, okay, if I put myself in his shoes, uhm, and, uh, and I got to the age of like 70, whatever, I think I'd be done, right? Like, I would just be like, you know what, I was ambitious at the time, and now I'm just like, whatever, I just, you know, I'm tired, I, I don't really wanna do anything now, I'm kinda glad I didn't have to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jubilating. You'd have to, whatever you call it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coronation, there it is, coronation. Yeah, he'd have to go through all that. But you know, I mean, it's uhm, it's, yeah, it's interesting. I like, every once in a while when the royals do sort of like feature again heavily in the news, you get these like little insights or whatever. I like it when one of them dies. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just like the little insights that you get into, like, their lives, but like, you never know if they're genuine or not, right? Cause they're so public based.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd say- Arguably nowadays there's a lot of calls for them to not exist, they're not relevant anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's still a tremendous amount of support for them though, like the outpouring of like public support for them any time anything happens or anything they do, anything, it's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't want to go there. I wouldn't want to even send my kids there. And then you have to spend a lot of money for the privilege as well. It's like, I don't know, it doesn't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it is, that is like a very sort of, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, do you think you ever get to a point where like, you know, like the first time you meet the queen, you're very, you know, aware of like the, you know, like the traditional stuff and like whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, like, the more you guys hang out, like, you're playing Super Nintendo every day or whatever and you're hanging out a lot, do you think you'd get complacent with that? Like, you'd just, like, stop


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think it's the same for most, uh, like, you know, big celebrities and stuff like that. You know, often times you hear them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Influence of money, would this person even care sort of thing, you know what I mean? And they, they think that about everybody, even other celebrities, right? Cause


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the guy, fuck me man, jeez, a former butler to Princess Diana, and like, you'll always know about it, like, every time he's on-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the worst, the worst thing is that anytime there's like a show of like, you know, looking back or anything like that, they always get them in. Like I don't know why they can't just say like, okay, let's not include burl this time. Let's see how it goes, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a JLo movie where she's like a maid or something and then she falls, or like the rich guy falls in love with her or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and she looks great, like considering she's like kinda old now, she's still looking pretty, pretty good. You know, like, uh, I guess one day maybe that'll change, but enjoy it while it lasts, I guess. I'm sure J-Lo is, geez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A show that I've discovered recently that I'd never really bothered with before but I am actually liking, and it's on tonight, is Taskmaster. Holy crap, what a show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's procedural, yeaah. It's quite funny. It's like a very very police procedural show, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you had really gi-gigantic, uhm, tits, would you, like, just be used to having them? Or do you think as a superhero, maybe sometimes they would get in the way? Sort of thing. Like, as a guy,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, you know, like I, I got a pretty big Johnson, but like if it was any bigger, for example, comically bigger, I would find it hard to fight crime with, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you never see a male superhero with like just a big ass. Like, you know, just, you know, you know, sometimes you see like a, like a man who just has like kind of a big ass, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An actual dumper, but like still, I don't want him to be so big that he can't move around and fight crime, you know, like he still has to be, but like I don't want him to also be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be a good taskmaster challenge actually. Do, do diarrhea into an egg cup, but none of it can spill over. So you'd have to have perfect control over your diarrhea. And aim. And aim as well, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lots of, lots of opinions, lots of passion in this one as well. Everybody really wants to get their, their bit in, you know? What is, Sips, what is a baper?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sideburns. Oh right, bichis, okay. Sure. I mean maybe, uh, my wife's mum would probably know a lot of these. We should get her on one day, actually. She'd be interesting. She's an interesting gal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are probably like things that 80 year olds say though. A push dang is a bicycle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, my wife's mom would say that sometimes. It's like a really, really, really old Jersey saying. But it's like, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there is a, there is a Jersey dialect, uh, called Jerseyase, which is a, like an off, like an offshoot of French. It was like, the French, the, like, uh, France, French, the French used to call it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still around, but it's more like historically used. Like I don't think people actively use it, but back in the day, like a long time ago, it was, it was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are really, these, these would be, these are really old things to say, like, again, like my, my mother-in-law's generation probably wouldn't even say it, it would probably be like her parents that would have said it, right? So, people who were born in like the 20s or whatever. You've done terrible. You've done terrible. Sorry, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Assault another prisoner with? What else do you finish chucking him? A jug candle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got a lot of stuff like that on American roads to, um, to help get around, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love Sweden, man. I would like, I actually would love to live in Sweden one day. I just think they've got it sewn up. Like, it just seems like such a, such a great country. Everybody I've ever met from Sweden has been pretty nice and stuff too. They're always like pretty chill, you know, like, I don't know. It just seems like such a nice place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get that on airplanes sometimes too. If you're traveling with somebody and you're having a chat, sometimes somebody will just like butt in, you know, and then you're still on a 10 hour flight and that it becomes really awkward because they've joined into a conversation and then you sort of have to acknowledge them for the rest of the flight and maybe talk to them again and stuff. Have you ever had that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of it sounds newer, so it's like maybe like, maybe a bit sort of like, uh, you know, like all of the Twitch things that like we don't understand, like pep- pep- peepee hands and all those ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you would get like the, you know, you're killing it kings like back then, uhm, you know, like I think, I think people would have thought that you were some sort of, uh, magician or maybe a witch or something who discovered like where the dragons live. I think explorers go south.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, do you know what, I got it in the morning, it was like 11 o'clock in the morning, I got home, I felt fine all day, no side effects, no nothing, I was like, okay great, you know, like I guess I'm not gonna get any side effects, and then that night, when the moon came out, all of a sudden, I didn't turn into a werewolf or anything,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I just got like the shivers a lot, you know, like flu like symptoms. I got, I got like the shakes and the shivers just felt a little bit like, you know, you can feel like, uh, you can feel something coming on sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit of a headache. So I went to bed and I was like, you know, okay, I'll probably just like sweat it out in the night or whatever. Cause that's just kinda how my, my, my system works or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sure enough, I was like sweating like crazy all night long, but I woke up on Sunday with like just the whitest hot cranial pain you've ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then all, all through Sunday, I just felt a little bit tender, you know, had a headache in the background that the paracetamol was like, you know, keeping at bay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a little bit sort of like shivery and, and fluey, I guess. And then, uh, Sunday night went to bed, woke up Monday and it was fun, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's just, it's just the way that your immune system deals with, you know, like your immune system, your body like will deal with, with stuff differently or, or the same for the most part. Like I find any time I'm going to be sick,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or coming down with something, a virus or whatever, it's always the same. I get, I get sore muscles, like, uh, you know, like I'll get like stiff, uh, shoulders or like arms or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, that's good. That's good. Uhm, yeah, the eligibility for vaccines here is slightly less because it's a smaller place. It's like 40, between ages 40 and up now, like, have been able to go in and get vaccinated and stuff. But like, I think half of the population here, half the adult population here is done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They felt a bit ropey and then the second one there was nothing. So, I don't know. We'll see. We'll see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause it's like 75% effective or whatever, which is actually pretty good in vaccine terms, but because the other ones have like higher numbers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always going to be some little experts. People who, there's like, yeaah, there's min-maxers out there who want to maximize their chances of not getting it or whatever. Flax has already had it, so he's like the ultimate min-maxer, right? You'd think so. And he's getting the vaccine as well. So this week I've been feeling a bit inferior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the sardinian crush as the opener, and, uh, I'm not feeling too good about myself. Come on, it's chess. This is how you're meant to have fun, you know? Like, you're meant to do some booyakashas when you take their...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but the catcher's gotta catch it when the pitcher, when the pitcher, um, jukes the batter though. So, the catcher's gotta be ready, like if there's a curve on it or whatever, like, cause if he misses it, that's embarrassing. That's why, you know, they gotta coordinate with each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looking at his glutes, looking at his hamstrings and stuff, trying to see where he's shifting his weight and all that. You know, it's intricate. It's a lot more intricate than you think. They're relaying information to each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's an old game, and it's been around a long time, and I think that it's still appreciated by a ton of people. I don't think they have to jazz it up much at all. I think the personality of the players is gonna be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like a big part of that, like jazzing it up. Some people are just more exciting to watch than others.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, you know, some teams, uh, suck for a while and then they, you know, a couple of good trades, they get good again, whatever. Like, I don't think that they need to make any sweeping changes to baseball. I think it's been fine and will be fine for some time. Okay, you're wrong. I mean, that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stadiums are still full of fans, people are still buying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their kids will start going and will be middle-aged at that point. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I see a lot of middle-aged guys wearing football shirts still. Honestly, like, I think they are buying shirts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of this is the same old though. They want growth, they want exponential growth year on year on year and something that probably can grow a bit but not how they expect it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people who want to make money off of this want it to scale up and up and up and up endlessly, right? Like, that's, that's just how everything works. It's how capitalism and the free market...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Predominantly, uh, it's probably changed a lot the last time I watched any North American sports, like in the nineties, but, uh, so you have like major league baseball, which is like, you know, the, the one that was all the big teams that you probably heard of on TV and all that. But then right below that is like the, like a triple A league, which is kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a big league, it's just not as like, not as massively commercialized as major league or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, kind of like, uh, you know, like sit like, you know, younger brother teams in that league where they're, you know, looking for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this stuff shouldn't really block it all up. Like, there's gotta be something in there. Like, maybe there's like a Tonka truck in there or something. I don't know. Cause it's like really, really blocked. Like, eh, it's unbelievable. It's just draining very slowly. Yeah, cause I, so like, I had my suspicions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I flushed the, uh, our downstairs toilet, the guest toilet, uh, as I like to call it. I flushed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think the drains are blocked and uh, my wife was like, yeah, you know what? I think the drains might be blocked as well. So I went out this morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I've had to call a company out to look at it, but so I lifted up the manhole and there's like a pattern on the back of the manhole and there was so much like toilet paper and junk in there that it was like shaped like the back cover of the manhole. Like it did, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta make sure I close all the windows, the house when they get here and stuff because I don't want any like particles flying in or anything, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it one of those ones where like everything goes wrong and like he's like aw shit they, you know, they already want to float me and now they're blaming me and stuff but then over time the tides turn and somebody else turns out to be a big jackass and they want to float him to death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, me and my wife, we're not like shout at the TV kind of people. What we'll do is if something's not very good or interesting, we'll gradually just start having a full conversation to the point where we're just not paying any attention to what's on TV anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some shows will just be like dead silent the whole time watching it, like we'll be super into it or whatever. And then other ones, it's just like, it'll be going on, going on and going on and we'll just be chatting or whatever. And then eventually if the show is still going on, we'll be like, oh, this fucking shit is still on. You want to switch over and then that's it. It just ends there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So at the time they went to all this effort to fake it, uhm, just to say that they were the first people to ever land on the moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the big payoff. That's what made all the effort worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, do you know what I'm more excited for? That I'm kind of excited for. In our lifetime, I would be, uh, thrilled to see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the other thing as well is uhm, I wanna do the thing where you take a rocket from a sea platform like here and then you can get to Hong Kong in like, you know, five minutes or whatever. I think that'd be awesome as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I mean, I'm just saying, like, you know, a, uh, just,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think that would be such a, uh, such a good compromise. Yeah, I know we're not going to have a Star Trek teleporters in my lifetime, but at least.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like controversial or, or, or against the grain or whatever, you know, it's like, it's like, it's like people who like seek out bad attention and stuff too, right? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to, but I have no way to prove you wrong on this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. We've had a couple of weeks off, during which time many things have happened. I'm joined by Sips, who is sweating his balls off in Jersey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fresh, we literally heard him running up the stairs, and he put this headset on, he sounds broken. I am very tired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gosh. I actually said you could take a shower before the podcast if you wanted, we're in no rush, but you replied that you can't because the cleaner's here, and you can't have the fan on because it'll get on the recording, so you're just gonna, it's like being in a sauna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I for the first time have turned my shower, I had my shower this morning, I turned the lever the other way. For the first time ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. It's the Wim Hof thing. It's like a thing he sort of teaches you where you can take control of your heartbeat and stuff and control your body and freeze your literal balls off. I think people have different levels of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll discuss whether we want to whack anyone off, or uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is because it's run by children and teenagers. The internet is run by the children who are searching for poop and teenagers who are searching for phone assistance because they got a shit phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually, I actually told my Alexa to fuck off, uhm, well, a couple of times, because there's now notifications, right, and it goes brr brr, and it's like, I'm like, I already can't sleep, I'm like sweating my balls off, I'm like, you know, it's 30 degrees in my room, I've had the fan on which is loud, there's a car and I'm going off outside,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's another alarm going off across somewhere else, you know, cause it's like, I got, I got told there was a, I walked through my building and there was alarms going off and there was a guy fiddling with them and I was like, what's going on? And he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the heat alarm. The fucking heat alarm. I just nodded and said sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Heat alarm? Maybe he was joking, but I don't think so. He looked dead serious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't do anything about it now, and they're obviously usually embarrassed because, you know, they thought, some of them were just, just like, oh, I'm, I'm really fit, you know, I go to the gym and I run every day, you know, I'm like, I can beat this thing, you know, it's not gonna hit me that hard, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched, uhm, I got recommended a YouTube clip of House.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why you should get vaccinated. And then she changed her mind, right? And the top comment was, this is unrealistic because she changed her mind. In the face of all the evidence, these people don't change their minds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like the presiding thing, isn't it? People dig their heels in, if anything. And the internet gives them this...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely bizarre. It's the same thing as, as you know, people saying thank God for like, you know, saving my, my, you know, son or whatever when he's been in a car accident and there's like 14 surgeons stood around exhausted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should have, in your, in your perfect package sips, so Manscaped, uh, Ball deodorant and anti-chafing moisturizer. Oh shit. Which does, does, I wouldn't advise fully shaving, uh, but with the Manscaped trimmer, you can like, just shave it down to like, I use like a one or two. You get like a five o'clock shave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll propose it to Manscaped because they are the best on the market for those of you in need of looking after your personal grooming. PFax, I hope your chest hair that you're displaying right now is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's 20% off free worldwide shipping. Manscaped.com slash Triforce. Trim your chesticles with the besticles and join two million men worldwide who trust Manscaped with their perfect package.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a mix. It's a mix bag. It must be so different to, you know, what I'm, my tech today is, where I'm just this independent guy. Yeah, it's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My parents send me little pictures of what they're doing. They went to a folly. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made by, what was his name, Capability Brown? Is this like a rapper?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Uh, no, he was this, uh, Victorian landscape gardener. Yeah. Who was a famous guy who built all sorts of dumb English architecture all over the country with all these rich families. All these rich families wanted, uh, you know, like a little shack for the beggar to hang out in and stuff like this, you know what I mean? He was a gardener.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I read that he got his name from the fact that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he went round to people's houses and, well, country houses and had a look at their landscape, he would say, this has the capability to be good. But yes, it's a, he's quite iconic as this master gardener.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very famously built, a lot of weird stuff that then sort of went out of vogue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, but then sort of came back into vogue more after he was dead. Like Victorian, did you say? Was he Victorian? Maybe older. 1783, quite a lot older than Victorian. He caught a lot of shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's a few, there's obviously a few sad stories about people who've tested positive and can't go, which is always a problem. And it's, it's kind of, kind of exciting. I always like watching the weird stuff that I've, sports that I've never heard of. And I dunno, just people, it's almost like watching that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Massive sex party where the 15,000 hottest people almost fit people in the world, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're probably like fucking taking like, they're probably having blood transfusions to like, you know, make sure they can, you know, drink the most wine or whatever, do you know what I mean? Anyway, I always hear about this because apparently they gave out, I think it was like 150,000 condoms or something, which was enough for... But this year they have it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, that, that is some Olympic, that is some Karma Sutra shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus Christ, man. You can see where it comes from though, right? Like, he's very self-aware, and also he obviously takes people's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He probably takes people's, people's comments too seriously, unfortunately. I think that you can, there's a line, isn't there, right, where there's constructive criticism and then there's trolling. You know, I think that it's like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he needs to understand that it's not a two-way street. He just needs to just put those videos out. Just do him. Do him and not interact with the people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this like an issue of people being horrified by finding out who their actual audience is? And to say, I always go to Notch when he finally found out that the only people playing Minecraft were kids, you know, or so many people playing Minecraft were kids. And he was, he was shocked kind of thing, I guess. At least it felt like it. It felt like he didn't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or realize this, right, at that point. And it's kind of, I think maybe this gun guy doesn't, realizes that, you know, he's dealing with a lot of idiots and maybe he doesn't think of himself as one of those people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it's the overlap as well, like going back to the anti-vax thing. You know, I think that a lot of these people in kind of alternative medicine, there's a lot of overlap with that middle class. Oh yes. Oh, our Tarquin doesn't eat soy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I installed TikTok, and I, I, I, I, I felt it was like, affecting my brain, I could feel it, like, I felt I was too slow for it, I was like, I just, I, I couldn't handle it, it was like too much, it was like overload.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we were trapped indoors though, we didn't have anywhere else to go. It's still going, the pandemic, it's not over yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, our friends, Hat Films, have started doing their podcast on a weekly basis as well, Hat Chat. So, uh, you can check those out Saturdays at 4pm, uh, give it a go, listen on Spotify, Apple, wherever you guys listen to your podcasts. Are they paying for this plug?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can also follow Triforce or Spotify to get new episodes that come out every Wednesday. There's, that's it. Bye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're back. Oh, I'm back, yea. Oh baby, and it feels great. Oh baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you've been gone, you're there for like a total of like 15 days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I guess with covid and stuff you can't really gather much, right? Like it's, like normally in an event like this you'd be hanging out with different people and there'd be like little stuff to do in between working and stuff, but I guess all that is a little bit different this time around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, it's like one of those ones that you, the more you play it, the more you get like a, a feel for it, right? It's a, it's a tough one to get a hang of like straight away, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what they, you know what they put a lot of games into as well? Roblox. And you know what they put into Roblox? Squid Game. So, uh, you know, that's gonna be the next big thing. Uh, I'm, I'm saying it right now. Squid Game on Roblox, uh, it's gonna be the talk of the town. It's already the next, it was talk of the town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's like a, an account that's shared through, by the whole family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wife and I have been watching Squid Game and I must have forgotten to, like, I think I just, we finished the episode, it went on to the next episode and I paused it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and then I just turned off the TV and everything and we went to bed, whatever. My son woke up the next day, turned on the TV to watch cartoons in the morning before school, and of course it was still paused on Squid Game. So when we woke up he's like, Mom, Dad, what's Squid Game? We're like, Oh my God, did you watch that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I didn't watch it, but I've heard about it, like people at school are talking about it and I didn't realise it was on Netflix. You cannot watch that. Please, please do not ever press play if you see that. I forgot to move it back to the children's thing. Just stick with the children's shows. A 9 year old kid can't watch that. No, no, no, no, it's much too violent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes, sometimes you do a barf and you're just like, yeah, I feel great. Like I just needed to, to just have a little barf. I've, I've done that a couple of times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, probably the last time I was in Bristol, which is like, what, two years ago now? Like, it's, it's, it's been a while. Yeah, no, uhm, I was there in, uh, we, YodCon was in August and then we had, uh, Jingle Jam, right? Right, yeah. So it would have been that December. It was the last time I was over. So yeah, it's coming up to, coming up to two years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, that's where all the action happens, it sounds like. You gotta get out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually, at some point this week, in fact tomorrow, uhm, I have to wear something other than shorts and a t-shirt, because uhm, for the first time in a long time, and for the first time in a very long time, I'm actually meeting up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a bunch of people I used to work with at an old job that I haven't seen in like 10 years. But we're going out for a curry, and I haven't been out in a long time. I don't even know if my jeans fit me anymore because I've been like exclusively wearing shorts for two years. Your social skills are going to be very rusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know like how schools do that advertising like, uh, for tomorrow or like shaping tomorrow or whatever. But like, uh, you know, it was like kind of like a rough school or something and they were just really honest with their advertising and they had like a slogan that's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And cum shots. You can't, I can't just come up with this stuff, you know, like I feel safe around you guys, but I'm going to be wearing some jeans probably, like maybe a shirt. I can't say this kind of stuff. You know, it's, it's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There we go, there we go. No, I just thought it would be like a funny thing, you know, like, you know, you know, sometimes you think of these like absurd scenarios or whatever, you know, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Certainly at first it'll just be like the ludicrous display chat about whatever, like sports or like the weather or something. And then, and then you just see where you go from there. But like, you know, I, I don't know. It's, it's hard to, it's hard to read the, the room, you know, when you're, you're not used to being around people and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, Lewis, the standards for people meeting him are so high, like the American guy that, you know, sacrificed his date to ask him questions for 15 minutes or whatever, to then be presented with this woman who just doesn't want to know, that's gotta be, that's a huge contrast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I'm meeting up with these people at work, but they all still work there, and they have done for all this time sort of thing. So while my life has changed a lot, you know, theirs hasn't really, I mean it obviously probably has, like their personal lives, but their working life hasn't really changed much sort of thing, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The conversation is often like, oh, what's so and so doing now? And it's like, oh yeah, just the same thing. Oh, okay. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's, it's pretty, it's pretty easy, but I think meeting up with somebody from school because so much has changed since after school, right? Like you finished school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Depending what age you are, but like, you know, when you're young normally, and then, you know, if you're meeting up with somebody 20 years later, it's going to be like, oh my God, you know, like, especially if you completely lost touch with them or whatever. I think that's a little bit potentially more awkward, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where maybe you've lost touch with them for a little while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you, you get back with people and you just pick up where you left off, right? You're still on the same wavelength.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You remember everything the same and you can laugh at it and stuff. But like I've found that there's a couple of people where uhm, you know, I've been, I've talked to them on and off for sure like throughout the years and have remained like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or whatever. Uhm, there's definitely a fork in the road somewhere, right? Where they just kinda go down a different path or something and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like specific or particular troubles in their life, you know, like I know of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, people like we used to hang out with at school that like everybody had lost touch with and then you find out that like, you know, they'd gotten addicted to drugs or they've had like real major issues in their life or whatever. But most of my close friends from school that I'm still regularly in touch with and stuff,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know anybody who's had any of that, you know? Everybody's just gone on to have sort of a pretty normal-ish life, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I mean like, it's more than just Facebook too, like you talk to them every day and stuff so you still have some idea of like what they're doing in their life and stuff so it's not, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but like, like definitely I've heard of people, but I'm just, I don't know, it's weird. Like I don't know anybody that I'm close to that's had like any major issues, I guess is, I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't know that it matters at all, but it's just interesting, I guess. I don't know. We're just, we're just agreeing with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll think of some other stuff as well, we don't have to, we don't have to commit to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well you know this, the hangover feeling that you had, I had for about five days straight and it's because my garage was damaged and I had to move out of it and it was really tough for me. I couldn't work the way that I've been used to working for the past like six years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flax, you could appreciate this, right? You used to just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it only lasted for like a week, luckily. Okay. Uh, because uhm, I had carpet in the garage. It wasn't like a flood, it was just a lot of water got into the, into the garage and, and just soaked the carpet. Like, it was the worst thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, so nothing was actually damaged, but uhm, I had a couple of, like, uhm, you know, extension, like power bars, like, you know, the multiple socket things on the ground, uh, that got filled with water, but then it just, it just tripped the circuit in here, uh, so luckily there was no, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Underlay, but it's all dry. Uhm, I got a dehumidifier, which is now like not, uh, accumulating anything. So it's nice, nice and dry in here. And with the heating and the air conditioning and stuff too, that helps. Yeah. But yeah, I just need to get some new, some new flooring and, uh, probably a new door as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not too bad, and I'm back here at least now, which is good. But yeaah, I had to temporarily rent the office that I used to rent like 6 years ago, but I was only there for like a week. But I have it for the rest of the month, so you know, just in case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is obviously, this is obviously the, um, like the tabletop magic, right? Like there's ways of cheating because you're, you're, you're letting people do the, the sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad plays Scrabble on Facebook with my aunt, like every day. Like they just, uhm, you know, like you can like do your move and then like the, your opponent can do their move like, you know, tomorrow or something, you know, like they just wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just gonna justify it to myself as making it more fair for me, so I have a chance at winning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, it's been, it's been fun. It's been nice play. It's a, it's a nice MMO. I think it, I think it's got some promise for sure. I think, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the sort of like the gathering, the crafting, like that sort of stuff. I'm not too interested in the PvP, which is like a big part of the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but uhm, no, Age of Darken is pretty good. New World's been pretty good. I think, I think I'm kinda like coming to the end of like the hype for it though, like, you know, like I played it a bunch and I've enjoyed it, but uhm, all of our towns got taken over by sweats and stuff and it's just like, I don't know, like I'll, I'll probably wait now for some,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Updates and some, some, some different mechanics and stuff to come out, but I've enjoyed it. And, uh, and Back for Blood I played a bit of as well, which came out this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the air, okay. And my biggest problem is, cause I played that other one, what's it called? Ancient, old world? Ancient world? Oh man, what was that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the thing with Old World is that they took one of the most frustrating parts out of all of those forex's, out of every forex I've ever played, which is, it takes forever to move your fucking units around, like really frustratingly, and that's what makes it board game-y.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So old world doesn't really have that. You can move your lands quite far. Uhm, and what limits it is that you have a number of orders that you can give per turn. But your unit mobility is quite large. And it should be. Yeah. Because if you're saying five years have passed,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why have my lads moved two tiles in five years? Like that doesn't make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like to have this historical thing that's like, this is going to take us 15 turns to build, that's like hundreds of years. Okay, fair enough, but then why does it take my lance that long to move from one end of my small empire to the other? It's kind of silly. So they kind of took that out. It made war and it made responding to war so fucking difficult and encourage you to just have a small, turtle-y empire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, like not, I'm not even talking like conquering half the world like ancient Rome or whatever. I'm just talking about a little three or four city empire. Why does it take me ten turns to move my lads? It's daft. So they took that out of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is it still like an almost top-downish, you're a lad surviving in a town and you go around and try and like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, cause I, they've just, uhm, this ideology thing has come out for it where you can design a religion. And some people were asking, well, what's the point? But if you think about it, a lot of people that play Rim would want to play it a different way. Some people like, uh, like, I, I just like to sort of turtle and try and get my guys into a decent place where we can build the ship and fuck off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other people want to build like, uhm, oh I harvest the organs of my prisoners and all this kind of stuff. So if you want, like I actually, but it's difficult because sometimes people want to escape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you wanted you could make it so that your people actively seek that out. So previously sometimes you would have this funky play style, but your people would get upset about it. Like they'd be like, eight human meat and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if they're, if they've got, um, any kind of brain injury, I think if you take the smoke leaf, it essentially counts as like an injury or a modifier to the brain. So I guess it just pushed them over the edge or something like that. But, uh, yeah. So if you want it, you can design a religion where that was like your whole thing was getting high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and you can also have a bunch of cannibal nudists, uh, and they get upset if they're not eating human meat. So if you want to build that kind of sort of run, you can do that. Uhm, and you know, you get bonuses and you get special rituals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we have two rituals in my religion, Baldism, or Goontopia, I think this one is, and you can, uh, we have like a big celebration, we have like a big conversion ritual where we try to convert people to our religion, and we also have a public execution ritual, and the best thing is you do the execution on one of your prisoners, and the people will be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So talking about, uh, about famous people, I was just looking up Zoe Deschanel this morning, because I remember that she was in everything a few years ago, and she's not in anything anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's a list of, of Zoe Deschanel, uh, in the 2000s, between 2000 and 2010, 28, 28 movies between 2000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, she did a TV show called The New Girl, she was in that. But apparently now she's a mum and she did some singing as well, even though her voice kind of annoys me. But it's just weird to think, like, that an actor could be everywhere, in, in everything, seemingly, and then just vanish in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then he did nothing for five years. And then he was in two more things you've never heard of. Then another two years and now apparently he's back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so we arrange to go out, someone will arrange it, and we will go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if it's just a song, why are you clapping? Why are you clapping? I don't need to hear that. Shut up and let them play. Let them play. We should do that in classical music, just to rub their faces into those classical music twats. Turn up to some concert, everybody starts clapping. Waaaaay like that. Let's see how you like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, one of my favorite sketches from that is the one where there's been a car crash in a clothing store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was fucking funny. But then there were some sketches, like you said, that are just like, either just incredibly cringy, awkward, he's saying some unbelievably awful thing in the wrong setting, and I think, I don't find that particularly funny, like I've never really enjoyed that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody's laughing and stuff, it must be awful. I have, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Popped up on YouTube for some reason, Louis CK at George Carlin's wake, like the funeral or whatever. Now, you know, this isn't, I'm not talking about Louis CK, I don't want to get into all that stuff, but as a comedian, he was very funny and I thought Louis was a really funny show and all the rest of it and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The interesting thing is, is he had been around forever, and if you look back at a lot of 90s comedy stuff, Louis C.K. pops up occasionally on shows, like he's just there in the background, not making it, he's not big, nobody knows who the fuck he is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the reason for that is that he spent 12 years, I think he said, touring with the same material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He spoke to George Carlin and said, cause he saw that George Carlin was bringing out a special every year. And he said to him, how the fuck do you do it? And he said, well, all I do is I do my year on tour, hone the material. At the end of the year, I've got it just how I like it. We do the special and then I throw all of it out and start again. And he's like, what do you mean? It's taken me 12 years to build up this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because obviously he was watching these people for so long as a kid and probably very quiet because he's not a big guy, he's like a little skinny kid watching these people and just absorbing their mannerisms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys remember, this is almost certainly before your time, there was an author called James Herbert, who wrote a lot of books in the 70s and 80s, there were a bunch of them, Sean Huston was another guy, that were like horror novels, and Frank Herbert's most famous is The Rats, which is about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, James Herbert, correction, James Herbert. I get my Herbert's mixed up all the time. Right, me too. He wrote this book called The Rats, which is about, like, the UK being overrun by these killer rats, and it's incredibly graphic. It's incredibly similar to that dream. Very similar, that's what made me think of it. And I thought maybe Sips had been reading The Rats, but he had clearly not. No, I had not read The Rats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just gonna look up a list of Sean Huston's books. Here's one called Spawn. There's one called, uh, he did the UK novelization of The Terminator. He did one called The Skull. Slugs was probably his most famous, which is about a group of killer slugs. Man, I'm gonna have to read these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, relatively small waisted, but that wasn't that important. Big bosoms, big happy smiles, big hair, because it was the 80s. And yeah, there was a type. Like that was, they all had to basically fit the mold of like, like Sam Fox. If you look at Sam Fox from the 80s, she was like the archetypal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can have a 30 year old girlfriend in a movie and no one's meant to blink. Like, if you look at In the Line of Fire with, with fucking Clint Eastwood, he's a million years old in that movie. And uhm, Renee, was it Renee Russo? I think it was his girlfriend. Hold on, In the Line of Fire, which was a movie that came out in, uh, let me think, 1993?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's got Clint Eastwood and Rene Russo. So she, so he was born in, uh, hold on a sec, just let me do this because this matters to me, this is important. So Clint Eastwood was born in 1930. Rene Russo was born in 1954. So she is 24 years his junior. But in the movie, there's no doubt that she's attracted to him immediately. Like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great, and then you get 10 years of that, and then it's like, what have you got for me? Eh, nah, we found someone else that can fill that role now, so you'll have to wait until you're in your 60s, and then it'll be like, oh wow, Zoe Deschanel, she still looks great, and you can come out of the woodwork and act again. Now you can play the hot mum, basically, when you're older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast, thanks for tuning in. Good to be back, thanks very much for inviting me back. Hello, hello, and also Perience here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. You're the third man. What? I just, I just order, so it's alphabet. Hang on. No it isn't, is it? Awkward. Maybe I should be introduced to you second in future. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we've got a lorry reversing in the background, by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like your houses have been properly constructed, unlike this one. I've said this before, but the office has, it's a listed building, so it can't have guttering on the outside. Listed for what? Listed as being shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All you need to do is like, you know, like make the drain pipes kind of full, right? But guttering is always half drain pipes, right? That's the idea of it. It's like, it saves money and it's also outside so if it overflows it doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, you know, when you come, like, we just, like, don't do anything, we just sit around and, like, sit in an airport, it's just a waste of time. With PFLAX, it was like, action. And we were, like, we were dancing and shouting and doing, doing karaoke. It was amazing. It was a full week of excitement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone you know is going to be doing something at some time of day. It was kind of like a relay race. You know, I don't know if you've been watching any of the- no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I always want people when they come down to be entertained, to be busy, but there was never that much effort or thought put into anything as always with the odds. It's always like, you know, fuck it, we'll just swing it and see how it goes. It just turned out, luckily I think, that we had stuff to do and we wanted to do and people were around at the right time and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, it was good, we had a good week, we played lots of little World War 2 games, played a couple of board games, um, rolled some dice, shouted at the ceiling in frustration when they didn't go our way. It was great. It was top fun. It was great. Yeah, so there should be plenty of content coming out of that as well to be recorded a few little things. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which, and also we recorded a scrub Dota game, of all things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called like Mr. Win Update or something. Right. And there's two, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If someone stumbles on it, they think it was like some fucking ancient ruins, which it may, it may well be, you know, they just made it for a YouTube video and now it's obviously all gone horrible. Cause I don't think it had any, they made like a really cool looking water park, but I don't think it had any drainage or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any of the practical stuff that it needs, right? So it's probably just now a stagnant pool. But man, oh, those YouTube videos really get me. I just, I just love them. They're so weirdly...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think Clarkson is a particular example of someone who is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I'm just gonna watch it just to see what it's about. And it's like, uh, it's vampires on a play. It's like die hard, except instead of bald, uhm, what's his face? Why are you gonna jump to that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of, there's a lot of TV shows like that that I see as well popping up on like Amazon, stuff that is very similar in vibe. I think one of them, oh god, what was it called? It was something along the lines of, of what you just mentioned, I can't remember. I'll dig it up, hang on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think it's just, it's just people who like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anna Margarita Martinez, a Cuban exile living in Miami, was always taught the importance of finding a good Cuban husband. When she met Juan Pablo Roque, she thought she had found her perfect mate, but it turns out


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Juan Pablo had been using his marriage as a cover while he secretly worked as a Cuban government spy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Madness of these people who feel like, I've said this before, but they feel like the main characters in, you know, in the world, right, where they have these really weird


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Half of it you will get swept up in that, right? Like people get swept away in the, in fame or success or money or, you know, I don't know, drugs particularly I suppose. But it's this kind of life that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grabs you and makes you do stupid things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen to this podcast by Malcolm Gladwell, where it's called Revisionist History, and he talks about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's this one thing about, he talks about this idea of the threshold where uhm, there's this sort of, there was this very famous basketball player who threw underarm and he had this sort of very high