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[Assistant] Once there, the current keeper of the light welcomed them in, gave them both warm drinks, and allowed them to dry off. They told the keeper of the man who had helped him, but he knew of no one else on the island who could have done such a thing. And that's when the boys saw an old picture on the wall and recognized the rescuer in the photo. That, they were told by the keeper, was Fred Jordan.


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[Assistant] There are countless stories like these, scattered all around the world like the debris of a ship that broke upon the rocks. The ghosts of the past have a way of finding us, it seems. Sometimes, though, it is us who create the most frightful experiences, not some otherworldly force. More often than not, it is people, and not ghosts, who haunt lighthouses.


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[Assistant] The Smalls are a collection of raw, lifeless basalt rocks that stretch out into the Atlantic, roughly 20 miles from the coast of Wales. The first lighthouse built there was small and rough, not much more than a house lifted high above the water on half a dozen or so oak and iron pylons, which allowed the waves and wind to pass right through them.


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[Assistant] It had been financed in 1776 by a man from Liverpool named John Phillips and constructed by Henry Whiteside. To show just how much faith he placed in the structure, Whiteside himself lit the flame and tended the light for the first winter.


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[Assistant] But this wasn't a room at the Hilton, believe me. It was a simple one-room shack affixed to the top of the platform, with the light room above it. A rope ladder and trapdoor allowed access from below, and a narrow galley and railing circled the perimeter, which allowed the keepers to step outside and do repairs.


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[Assistant] It was required that the trapdoor remain closed at all times unless someone was entering or exiting the house because the door itself constituted the majority of the walking space in the room.


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[Assistant] It was, for all intents and purposes, a treehouse strapped to a small rock in the cold Atlantic. But it served its purpose, and Whiteside survived the winter without incident. He even devised a system for passing messages to the mainland using the cliché paper note in a glass bottle method.


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[Assistant] After his short time in the lighthouse, Whiteside passed the torch, literally, to a pair of men who would be the professional keepers of the light. And that's how the Smalls Lighthouse operated for over two decades, with a pair of men living in isolation, twenty miles from the mainland.


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[Assistant] But during the winter of 1801, things were far from utopian.


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[Assistant] Thomas Howell and Thomas Griffith were the lighthouse keepers at the time. According to what we know of the two men, Griffith was a tall, young, powerfully built laborer. Howell, on the other hand, was a small, middle-aged craftsman who had worked for years as a cooper making barrels.


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[Assistant] Both men were from Pembrokeshire. They were married and had families that lived on the mainland. But the thing people remember most about them is that they didn't get along. They hated each other and everyone knew it.


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[Assistant] It was said that during their infrequent visits to the mainland, the men could be seen in local pubs arguing constantly. The fights covered a wide range of topics and witnesses claimed that there was nothing the men could agree on. Sometimes their shouting would get so out of control that the pub would empty just to get away from them. But not once were they ever seen to come to physical blows. People expected it though.


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[Assistant] During the winter of 1801, the weather contributed to their intense isolation. Relief keepers couldn't dock at the island. Supply ships tried to reach the rock itself, but failed. And because of that, fresh water and food began to run low.


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[Assistant] They even tried to use Whiteside's method of sending a message in a bottle, but no one ever answered. Most likely the work of those same storm-tossed waves that kept away the supply ships.


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[Assistant] One thing they didn't run out of, though, was fuel for the light. So Howell and Griffith stayed busy. After all, those same storms that kept supplies and human contact from reaching them was also threatening the ships that passed through the Smalls. Their duty took precedent.


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[Assistant] It was most likely in the service of that duty that Thomas Griffith took ill. Some reports say that it was a sickness that laid the big man low. Others make mention of an accident and how Griffith slipped and hit his head one day while working in the house.


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[Assistant] Regardless of the cause, every record of the event agrees on the conclusion.


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[Assistant] After weeks of failing health, Griffith, so young and fit and full of life until then, tragically passed away. And just like that, Howell found himself completely alone, stranded on a rock in the Atlantic, with only a corpse to keep himself company.


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[Assistant] Howl had a problem on his hands. Well, two problems, actually.


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[Assistant] The biggest of those was that he and Griffith were known to quarrel constantly. So he didn't have the freedom to simply toss the man's body into the sea and trust that others would consider him blameless. No, he needed to make sure that everyone knew that Griffith's death was not his fault. And so he kept the body.


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[Assistant] Which led to the second problem. With no burial, the body would be left exposed to the elements, leading to decomposition.


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[Assistant] It probably wouldn't take long for Howl to look around the small room he shared with the corpse to understand how bad of an experience that would be. So he began to plan.


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[Assistant] Taking apart some of the storage cabinets in the room, Howell constructed a makeshift coffin. He knew his way around a hammer and saw, and managed to build something that worked. But Griffith was big, and Howell was alone, and, well, he was in a hurry.


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[Assistant] When he finished, he took the large box, along with Griffith's corpse, outside onto the gallery that surrounded the house like a porch. It was cold outside, and that would help delay the decomposition. But it was also harsh there. Waves crashed against the lighthouse constantly. And so, as a precaution, Howell tied the box to the rails.


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[Assistant] The winter storm had other ideas though, and one night soon after moving the coffin outside, a great wave washed up and smashed the box to pieces. All the wood and nails and rope that Howell had cobbled together to contain the body of his dead partner disintegrated and fell onto the rocks and water below. All of it except Griffith's body.


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[Assistant] According to the reports of those who rescued Howell months later, Griffith's corpse had managed to get tangled in the rope and railing at the edge of the gallery. Even though waves continued to wash over him, and the occasional seagull approached for an inspection, nothing knocked the body free.


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[Assistant] Which means that rather than spend the coming weeks in peaceful retreat, Howell had a front row view of his partner's decomposition.


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[Assistant] I have to imagine that there were many moments when he regretted his decision. When he had to fight the overwhelming urge to rush outside, cut the ropes, and kick Griffith's body down to the waves below. It certainly would have ended the nightmare that he found himself living in. But it also would have stirred up the suspicion and judgment that he was hoping to avoid.


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[Assistant] And so week after week, month after month, Howell lived in the small room of the lighthouse, tending the flame and maintaining the building, all while the rotting corpse of Griffith stood watch outside.


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[Assistant] He later spoke of how one of the body's arms hung loose and would swing and wave toward him.


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[Assistant] It sounds like the sort of tale Edgar Allan Poe would scratch onto the page at night. Echoes of the telltale heart thumping monotonously in the background. But for Howell, it was reality. And it drove him mad.


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[Assistant] When a rescue boat finally landed at the small rock almost four months after the death of Griffith, they discovered the rotted corpse on the gallery and the emaciated shell-shocked howl inside.


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[Assistant] He was alive but the prolonged exposure to the sight of the corpse had wounded him deep in his soul and mind. It was said that even when he was finally on the mainland and brought into the care of his family and friends, many of them failed to recognize him.


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[Assistant] Everyone loves a good ghost story. There is mystery and horror and moments that put you on the edge of your seat. They're great around campfires or the kitchen table, and they have a way of uniting people. Fear, after all, is a universal language.


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[Assistant] But not every scary story has a ghost at the center of it. And while many frightening tales from the lighthouses of the world contain some element of the supernatural, perhaps it's the stories without them that frighten us the most.


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[Assistant] Isolation, loss, guilt, and hopelessness are emotions that can happen to any of us, no matter where we live or what we've been through.


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[Assistant] Maybe that's what makes the story of Thomas Howell so chilling. It could literally have happened to us if we had been in his shoes. And everything he experienced would be just as frightening and traumatic to you or I as it was to him.


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[Assistant] Alone and isolated in tight quarters with dwindling supplies, the rotting corpse of the man he hated swinging in the wind and rain outside the window of his bedroom, and no sign of a rescue ship on the horizon, day by day, week by week, month by month.


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[Assistant] It's a horror that would drive any of us mad.


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[Assistant] Ironically though, help had tried to reach him. Ships sailed. People watched. But every time they came close, they turned back, satisfied that everything was alright.


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[Assistant] It wasn't the light that convinced them though. It was something else. Something that multiple ships and witnesses confirmed together afterward.


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[Assistant] Every time they got close, they could see high up on the gallery surrounding the light, the shape of a man.


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[Assistant] But he wasn't calling for help or beckoning them to come dock on the island. No, according to those who saw him


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[Assistant] Stories of lighthouses always seem to be packed with emotion and chills. Maybe that's because of their placement on the razor's edge between safety and danger. Or perhaps it's due to the small space and big tensions. Either way, lighthouse stories never fail to deliver.


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[Assistant] Which is why I've tracked down one more to share with you. Stick around through this brief sponsor break to hear all about it.


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[Assistant] William was an observant sort of man. In fact, it was paying attention that brought him and his family to America from England in the 1860s. William had noticed that the lumber industry in the state of Michigan was growing rapidly and he saw an opportunity for a steady job.


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[Assistant] You see, he and his wife Sarah had seven children at the time, which admittedly is a lot of mouths to feed. So he packed up their lives and crossed the Atlantic, and then made that difficult journey across land to the eastern shores of Lake Michigan. When they arrived, they settled in a small town called Whitehall.


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[Assistant] Now, Whitehall is set a couple of miles inland from the shores of Lake Michigan. If you were able to stand there at the water's edge and look all the way across the Great Lake, you'd find Milwaukee on the other side. But Whitehall had its own unique geography and its own smaller lake. White Lake.


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[Assistant] It was named that because of the pale white clay that came up from the mud there. But as traffic and commerce on Lake Michigan grew over the years, the people of Whitehall cut a channel through to their smaller, white lake, making it possible for their little town to participate in the wider economic world.


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[Assistant] Like I said, William Robinson was an observant man. And while he might have settled his family there because of the lumber industry, he noticed how many ships were passing through that little channel and just how risky it was to navigate it. He was so worried about their safety that he would actually walk down to the edge of the channel at night and hang a lantern out on a pole. Something, anything to keep those passing ships safe.


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[Assistant] I'm not sure how long he kept this up, but no one complained, and it probably helped keep a lot of ships out of trouble. But it was clear that more than a little lantern was needed to truly do the job well. So William requested the larger lighthouse service to build a tower there on the edge of the channel.


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[Assistant] In 1875, they agreed, and soon the White River Light Station was constructed. And who did they hire to become the first keeper of that brand new light?


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[Assistant] William Robinson, of course. Talk about manifesting your own destiny, right? William saw a need, created a job, and then pushed until it became reality. Not too shabby.


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[Assistant] For nearly 50 years, that's where you'd find William Robinson. He and Sarah raised those seven kids, and a few more were born there on the shores of the lake. They were part of the community, and I like to imagine that their house was full of laughter and love.


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[Assistant] And doing the work was clearly a passion project for William. It's said that one of his favorite things to do was climb up that spiral staircase to the lantern room and look out over the water. Sure, in later years that climb was aided by a cane, but the view from the top always made the trip worth it.


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[Assistant] In 1919, at the age of 87, William finally decided it was time to pass the torch and announced his retirement. But the night before he and Sarah were scheduled to move out,


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[Assistant] And while it's obvious the lighthouse wouldn't have existed without him, perhaps that connection went both ways. Without the light, it seems, William had no reason to go on.


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[Assistant] But don't think for a minute that he's no longer there. Ever since the lighthouse was converted to a museum in the 1970s, there have been a lot of visitors passing through those narrow halls.


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[Assistant] And many of them have reported unusual experiences.


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[Assistant] Some claim that they have seen and felt the presence of Sarah in the bedroom where their children had slept, maybe drawn there by the power of family memories. Others say an invisible force has cleaned up messes and put items away. Maybe Sarah isn't quite done being the lady of the house.


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[Assistant] But the most frequent report over the years has been that of a sound. You see, most people who visit the lighthouse want to see the heart of the operation. So they put their hand on the rail and begin that long, slow climb up the spiral staircase, aiming for the lantern room above.


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[Assistant] But it's often on that quiet trip to the top that the most chilling sound can be heard.


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[Assistant] This episode of Lore was researched, written, and produced by me, Aaron Manke, with music by Chad Lawson.


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[Assistant] Lore is much more than just a podcast. There's a book series available in bookstores and online, and two seasons of the television show on Amazon Prime Video. Check them both out if you want more lore in your life.


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[Assistant] I also make and executive produce a whole bunch of other podcasts, all of which I think you'd enjoy. My production company, Grim and Mild, specializes in shows that sit at the intersection of the dark and the historical. You can learn more about all of our shows and everything else going on over in one central place, grimandmild.com.


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[Assistant] And you can also follow this show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Just search for Lore Podcast, all one word, and then click that follow button. And when you do, say hi. I like it when people say hi. And as always, thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Ask anyone in the mental health profession about full moons and you'll get a surprising answer. They'll respond with something that sounds incredibly like folklore and myth. The full moon has the power to bring out the crazy in many people.


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[Assistant] We've believed this for a long time. We refer to unstable people as lunatics, a word that finds its roots in the Latin word of the same name. It's built from the root word luna, which means moon, and for centuries has operated under the conviction that changes in the lunar cycle can cause people to lose touch with reality.


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[Assistant] Just ask the parents of a young child, and they'll probably tell you tales of wild behavior and out of the ordinary disobedience at certain times of the month.


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[Assistant] If science tells us that the moon's pull on the ocean creates tides that rise and fall in severity, then perhaps our planet's first satellite also tugs on the water inside our bodies, changing our behavior. At least, that's the idea.


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[Assistant] As modern people, when we talk about the full moon, we tend to joke about this insane, extraordinary behavior. But maybe we joke to avoid the deeper truth. An idea that we are both frightened and embarrassed that we even entertain.


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[Assistant] For most of us, you see, the full moon conjures up an image that is altogether unnatural and unbelievable.


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[Assistant] Science has tried to explain our obsession with the werewolf many times over the years. One theory is a disease known as hypertrichosis, sometimes known as wolfitis. It is a condition of excessive, unusual body hair growth, oftentimes covering the person's entire face. Think Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf.


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[Assistant] Psychologists actually have an official diagnosis in the DSM-IV known as clinical lycanthropy. It's defined as a delusional syndrome where the person believes that they are transforming into an animal. But the changes only take place in their mind, of course.


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[Assistant] But delusions have to start somewhere. Patients who believe they are Napoleon Bonaparte have some previous knowledge of who he was. I think it's fair to assume that those who suffer from clinical lycanthropy


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[Assistant] Close to a hundred Hollywood films since 1913.


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[Assistant] One of the earliest mentions of something resembling the modern werewolf can actually be found in the 2000-year-old writings of the Roman poet Virgil. In his Eclogue IX, written in 40 BCE, he described a man named Moeris who could transform himself into a wolf using herbs and poisons.


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[Assistant] About 50 years later, Gaius Petronius wrote a satirical novel called, appropriately, Satiricon, which honestly sounds like the equivalent of Stephen King writing a horror novel called Friticon.


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[Assistant] In it, he tells the tale of a man named Nicaros. In the story, Nicaros was traveling with a friend when that friend suddenly took off his clothes, urinated in a circle, and transformed into a wolf before running off toward a large field of sheep.


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[Assistant] The next day, Niceros is told by the sheep owner that one of the shepherds stabbed a wolf in the neck with a pitchfork. Later that day, Niceros noticed his friend had a similar wound in his neck.


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[Assistant] In the Greek myth of the god Zeus and an Arcadian king named Lycaon, Zeus took on the form of a human traveler. At one point in his journey, he visited Arcadia, and during his time in that country, he visited the royal court.


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[Assistant] The king of that land, like Haon, somehow recognized Zeus for who he truly was, and tried, in true Greek form, of course, to kill him by serving him a meal of human flesh.


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[Assistant] But Zeus was a smart guy, after all, and he caught Lycaon in the act, throwing the mythological equivalent of a temper tantrum. He destroyed the palace, killed all fifty of the king's sons with lightning bolts, and then cursed King Lycaon himself.


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[Assistant] The punishment? Lycaon would be doomed to spend the rest of his life as a wolf, presumably because wolves were known for attacking and eating humans. Most scholars believe that this is the legend that gives birth to the term lycanthropy. Lycos being the Greek word for wolf, and Anthropos the word for man.


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[Assistant] Werewolves aren't just a Greco-Roman thing, though. In the 13th century, the Norse recorded their mythological origins in something called the Volsunga saga. Despite their culture being separated from the Greeks by thousands of miles and many centuries, there are tales of werewolves present there as well.


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[Assistant] One of the stories in the Volsunga saga involves a father and son pair, Sigmund and Sinfjötli. During their travels, the two men came upon a hut in the woods where they found two enchanted wolf skins. These skins had the power to change the wearer into a wolf, giving them all the characteristics that the beast was known for. Power, speed, and cunning.


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[Assistant] Undeterred, the father and son duo each put on one of the wolf skins and transformed into the beasts. They decided to split up and go hunting in their new forms, but they made an arrangement that if either of them encountered a party of men over a certain size, and most translations say that number was seven, then they were supposed to howl for the other to come join them in the hunt.


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[Assistant] Sigmund's son, however, broke his promise, killing off a hunting party of eleven men on his own. When Sigmund discovered this, he fatally injured his son. Thankfully, the Norse god Odin intervened and healed the son, and both men took off the pelts and then burned them.


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[Assistant] You see, from the very beginning, werewolves were a supernatural thing.


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[Assistant] Things get interesting, though, when we go to Germany. In 1582, the country of Germany was being pulled apart by a war between Catholics and Protestants, and one of the towns that played host to both sides was the small town of Bedberg.


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[Assistant] Keep in mind that there were also still outbreaks of the Black Death, so this was an age of conflict and violence. People understood loss, they had become numb to it, and it would take something incredibly extraordinary to surprise them.


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[Assistant] First, there were the cattle mutilations. Farmers from the area surrounding Bedberg would find dead cattle in their fields. It started off infrequent, but grew to a daily occurrence. Something that went on for many weeks. Cows that had been sent out to pasture were found torn apart. It was as if a wild animal had attacked them. Naturally, the farmers assumed it was wolves. But it didn't stop there.


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[Assistant] Children began to go missing after that. Young women vanished from the main roads around Bedberg.


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[Assistant] In some cases, their bodies were never found, but those that were had been mauled by something horribly violent. Finding your cattle disemboweled is one thing, but when it's your daughter or your wife, it can cause panic and fear. The community spiraled into hysteria.


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[Assistant] Now, when we think of historical European paranoia, we often think of witchcraft. The 15th and 16th centuries were filled with witch hunts, burnings, hangings, and an overwhelming hysteria that even spread across the Atlantic to the British colonies, where it destroyed more lives. The witch trials of Salem, Massachusetts is the most famous example.


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[Assistant] But at the same time, Europe was also on fire with fears of werewolves. Some historians think that in France alone, some 30,000 people were accused of being werewolves. And some were even executed for it, either by hanging or being burned alive at the stake. The fear of werewolves was real. For the town of Bedberg, it was very real.


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[Assistant] One report from this event tells of two men and a woman who were traveling just outside the city walls. They heard a voice call out to them for help from the trees beside the road, and one of the men stepped into the trees to give assistance. When the man did not return, the second man entered the woods to find him, and he also did not return.


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[Assistant] The woman caught on and attempted to run, but something exited the woods and attacked her. The bodies of the men were later found, mangled and torn apart, but the woman's never was. Later, villagers found several limbs in the fields near Bedberg, limbs from the people who were missing. It was clear something horrible was hunting them.


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[Assistant] Another report tells of a group of children playing in a field near the cattle. As they played, something ran into the field and grabbed a small girl by the neck before trying to tear her throat out. Thankfully, the high collar of her dress saved her life and she managed to scream.


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[Assistant] But these cows didn't like screaming, apparently, and they began to stampede. Frightened by the cattle, the attacker let the girl go free and ran for the forest. And this was the last straw for the people of Bedberg. They took the hunt to the beast.


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[Assistant] According to a pamphlet from 1589, the men of the town hunted for the creature for days. Accompanied by dogs and armed for killing these brave men ventured into the forest and finally found it.


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[Assistant] Interestingly though, they claimed that they had spotted a wolf, not a man, and quickly chased it down.


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[Assistant] In the end it was their dogs that cornered the beast. Dogs are fast and they beat the men to their prey. When the hunters did finally arrive though, they found the creature cornered.


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[Assistant] According to the pamphlet, the wolf transformed into a man right before their eyes. While the wolf had been just another beast, the man was someone they recognized. It was a wealthy, well-respected farmer from town named Peter Stubb, sometimes recorded as Peter Stump.


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[Assistant] Stoob confessed to it all, and his stories seemed to confirm their darkest fears. He told them that he had made a pact with the devil at the age of 12. Their deal? In exchange for his soul, the devil would give him a plethora of worldly pleasures. But like most stories, a greedy heart is difficult to satisfy.


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[Assistant] Stube admitted to being a wicked fiend with the desire for wrong and destruction, and that he was inclined to blood and cruelty.


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[Assistant] He told the men who captured him that he had taken off that belt in the forest and some were sent back to retrieve it, but it was never found. Still, superstition and fear drove them to torture and interrogate the man, who confessed to decades of horrible, unspeakable crimes.


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[Assistant] Well known and respected around town, Stoob told his captors that he often would walk through Bedburg and wave to the families and friends of those he had killed. It delighted him that none of them suspected he was the killer.


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[Assistant] Sometimes he would use those walks to pick out future victims, planning how he would get them outside the city walls where he could ravish and cruelly murder them.


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[Assistant] Stoob admitted to going on killing sprees simply because he took pleasure in the bloodshed. He would kill lambs and goats and eat their raw flesh. He even claimed to have eaten unborn children, ripped straight from their mother's wounds.


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[Assistant] The human mind is always solving problems, even when we are asleep and unaware of it. The world is full of things that don't always sit right with us, and in our attempt to deal with life, we rationalize.


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[Assistant] In more superstitious times, it was easy to lean on old fears and legends. The tuberculosis outbreaks of the 1800s led people to truly believe that the dead were sucking the life out of people. The stories that gave birth to the vampire mythology also provided people with a way to process TB and its horrible symptoms.


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[Assistant] Perhaps the story of the werewolves shows us the same phenomenon, but in reverse. Rather than creating stories that help explain the mysteries of death, perhaps we created the story of the werewolf to help justify the horrors of life and human nature.


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[Assistant] The tale of Peter Stoob sounds terrible, but when you hold it up to modern day serial killers such as Jeffrey Dahmer or Richard Trenton Chase, it's par for the course. The difference between them and Stoob is simply 400 years of modernization.


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[Assistant] People of Bedburg executed him for his crimes. On October 31st of 1589, Halloween, mind you, he was given what was thought to be a fair and just punishment. He was strapped, spread eagle and naked, to a large wooden wheel, and then his skin was peeled off with red hot pinchers.


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[Assistant] Then they broke his arms and legs with the blunt end of an axe before finally turning the blade over and chopping off his head.


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[Assistant] His body was burned at the stake in front of the entire town, and then his torture wheel was mounted on a tall pole, topped with a statue of a wolf. On top of that, they placed his severed head. Justice, or just one more example of the cruelty of mankind.


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[Assistant] More than just a trope of Hollywood films, these tales of monstrous transformations have been lurking in the shadows of human culture for centuries. And the werewolf of Bedberg isn't alone on the stage of medieval killers. In fact, nearby France had its own fair share of shape-shifting creatures, and there's one in particular I want to tell you about.


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[Assistant] Stick around through this brief sponsor break to hear all about it.


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[Assistant] It's amazing what people will say under pressure. For Pierre, it was more than amazing. It was downright terrifying.


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[Assistant] Pierre Bergot was a shepherd who worked in the area around Poligny in eastern France at the turn of the 16th century. Friends and neighbors called him Gros Pierre, suggesting that he was probably a tall, muscular man. But when he stood before a jury in December of 1521, he told them a story that was much larger than him. One that brought the supernatural to life.


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[Assistant] According to Pierre, he was working hard in the pasture outside of town one day in 1502, when a great storm began to blow in. All the signs pointed to a rough experience. Thunder, forceful winds, and the beginnings of a hailstorm. So he began to frantically gather his sheep so he could leave them back home. But that's when three riders approached.


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[Assistant] Pierre admitted to the court that he was afraid. How could he not? The men were all dressed in black, with billowing black cloaks, and the horses they sat upon were just as black, as black as the sky on a moonless night. So despite being a large man used to handling livestock out in the wilderness, he cowered at their approach.


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[Assistant] Why are you afraid? one of the riders called out to him, stopping his horse in front of Pierre.


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[Assistant] The shepherd looked around, at the dark weather, and the equally dark riders, and then answered the question.


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[Assistant] Well, what if I told you I could keep all of your livestock safe, that not one single sheep would go missing, and all you had to do was pledge yourself to my service? Acknowledge me as your Lord and Master, and this shall be so.


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[Assistant] We don't know how long Pierre considered the offer. His testimony from 1521 doesn't give us a lot of the nuances like that. But after some deliberation, he agreed. Right there, with the hail pounding the earth and the wind howling through the field, Pierre Bergot knelt before the dark rider and pledged himself in service.


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[Assistant] But he did more. He renounced his God, the Virgin Mary and the entire company of heaven.


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[Assistant] He renounced his baptism and christening and then pledged to never serve at Holy Mass or let holy water touch his skin. And with that, the dark rider extended a hand, removed his black glove, and told Pierre to kiss it.


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[Assistant] The flesh of the rider's hand, according to Pierre, was just as black as his clothing. It was cold and withered, like the hand of a rotten corpse. But he did as he was told and kissed it anyway. And with that, the riders left.


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[Assistant] Years went by. Pierre's life really didn't change much. We know that he continued to be a shepherd, but there's no mention in the record of whether or not he ever lost one of his sheep.


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[Assistant] But then, many years later, he received a summons from his dark master to attend a warlock sabbath gathering in the woods outside of town. And to keep himself company, he brought along a friend named Michael Verdon.


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[Assistant] There, during the dark celebration, the two men were instructed to strip naked and rub a strange salve on their skin, which caused their bodies to become hairy and wolf-like. And then, having fully transformed, they ran off into the woods, hunting through the night.


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[Assistant] After that, this new life as a werewolf became the center of Pierre's existence. For years, he and Michael hunted across the countryside.


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[Assistant] But their reign of terror over the town would eventually come to an end. It's said that one night in 1521, Pierre's friend Michael made a mistake. While attacking someone at the side of the road, he let his guard down, and a traveler discovered them, wounding him as he ate his victim.


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[Assistant] Michael and Pierre fled, but this brave traveler followed them, eventually arriving at a small house. Upon entering, he didn't find what he had expected. There was no beast inside, only a man with a bloody side and his wife tending to the wound.


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[Assistant] After a brief trial, a trial in which Pierre confessed this entire story to the jury, the men accused of being werewolves were taken outside and executed. After their death, etchings of their likenesses were made and hung inside the town church as a warning to others about the price of witchcraft.


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[Assistant] Pierre Bergot was not the first accused werewolf in Europe, and he certainly wouldn't be the last. But his story serves as a perfect example of just how deep our imagination can go. And how destructive and deadly one singular emotion can be. Fear.


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[Assistant] This episode of Lore was researched, written, and produced by me, Aaron Manke, with music by Chad Lawson.


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[Assistant] Lore is much more than just a podcast. There's a book series available in bookstores and online, and two seasons of a television show on Amazon Prime Video. Check them both out if you want more lore in your life.


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[Assistant] I also make and executive produce a whole bunch of other podcasts, all of which I think you'd enjoy. My production company Grim and Mild specializes in shows that sit at the intersection of the dark and the historical.


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[Assistant] You can learn more about all of those shows and everything else going on over in one central place. GrimAndMild.com


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[Assistant] And you can also follow this show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Just search for Lore Podcast, all one word, and then click that follow button. And when you do, say hi. I like it when people say hi. And as always, thanks for listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually got, I got real drunk and I lost the, uh, the ring one time and I wanted to get it, you know, go buy a new one the next day. So I broke off a piece of a broomstick and stuck it through. I didn't want it to heal up in the night so I stuck it through.


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[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nick Lam podcast is brought to you by Diori. Better help delete me and Helix sleep.


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[Assistant] Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bargetti, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber and Dusty Slick. All right. As usual, we're up in here. If you wanted something different, we're like again. We're back. Yeah. Yeah. You just go like, oh.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You're like think there's a retirement plan. Like you're trying to get your pension and then get out. Yeah. Whenever it kicks in. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I think I will, I don't know, the thing that I love about, uh, stand up is that I don't know, there is no ceiling.


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[Assistant] And I don't know what's gonna happen. You don't know what phone call you're about to get. You don't know what show you're about to get. And I've loved that.


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[Assistant] So that is, I mean, that's the most fun thing to that being addicted to that is like just being like, it just kind of keeps you going. Like you don't know what's going on. And so, I mean, I always thought I would know.


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[Assistant] I just always felt that. I don't know if it was like, maybe I felt like God would tell like, you know, you just would feel satisfied and go, that's, that's enough.


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[Assistant] I don't really feel like I need to go do anything else. And maybe then I'll still go do it, but maybe you're doing theaters and you're kind of just doing it like, you know, I enjoy it and whatever, but.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I could see, you know, I mean, I have another big tour after this. I don't, it's not now cause I have.


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[Assistant] This, finish this tour, special come out, and then, uh.


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[Assistant] And then I'll do the, I don't know when the next, the next tour will probably be 2025 or it will be, I'm just not sure if it will be the front or the start in the middle.


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[Assistant] So, if you want to come out, this is going to be the last until I'll stop in July.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if that either, but I would like, I would maybe be okay with that.


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[Assistant] More than ban, cause I feel like a ban, they're gonna make you come. In poetry, people do it kinda quietly and privately. And they don't make you come.


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[Assistant] But when other people start a band, you know, when you hear like some guys like he's got a band on the side, you're like, Johnny Depp has a band. Oh, they all, yeah. And they go, they go play and you're just like, what are you doing, dude? Like you're making.


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[Assistant] You're trying to make people go watch that now? Like, is it not enough? Have you not asked enough out of them to watch you do stand up?


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[Assistant] I can't imagine it's very good. Even if you're the top of the top, I'd imagine.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I think if you're into it, you could see that it's good, but it's...


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[Assistant] It's like improv. Like you can, even if you get the top the top, you're like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, I had a fun time. You're not, I don't think you leave the, you know, it's like.


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[Assistant] Oh, I'm gonna, I'm different now. I'm just gonna go, well at least it wasn't bad. I had to follow.


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[Assistant] I don't know if Brutus was just like, there's already been 38 stabs. You're like.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You're like, what's the difference? You know, you kind of say, you're like, dude, I gotta live. You know what I mean? Like.


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[Assistant] Alright, seems like prayer to... relationship with that kid.


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[Assistant] I don't even know what it is. I don't know what, I don't know what this story is.


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[Assistant] Well, if they're Prince Charles, I mean, you think it'd be them, wouldn't it be, what's, uh, Prince, what's his name? Uh, William, Prince William and her. And then they, then they'd be rolling cause he's young and if she's okay.


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[Assistant] Uh, this week, so I was in, uh, Philadelphia.


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[Assistant] Yeah, all unreal. They were so good. Uh, the Wells Fargo Center. That's where the 76ers play. Yeah, it was, man, they were so good. Uh, I mean, all weekend they were so good. Uh, but then, so we had, uh, go to Wells Fargo, then, uh,


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, so Fallon is out with this. It just looks absurd. That's insane. Yeah. Keep going over. So Fallon, uh, hit me up and he wanted to go do, uh,


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[Assistant] He, he'd been wanting, cause he came out in New Jersey and so he's kind of like looking and was like, alright, you know, he's like, I want to come to Syracuse and Albany. So I mean, he was on the bus with us, uh,


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[Assistant] And then we went and did, he did Syracuse and Albany. I mean, dude, he, when he went out, it was Syracuse was bananas. Albany was banana. They're both bananas.


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[Assistant] College of St. Rose. College of St. Rose. That's what it is. And it's going out of business.


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[Assistant] So, he, so, uh, he came out and he's been doing like little stand-up, I mean, he destroys, dude. I, so Friday he flew, he taped his show and flew in, got into Syracuse, uh,


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[Assistant] Basically, probably 20 minutes before he went on stage. So is when he landed. So I mean, the Syracuse had no idea.


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[Assistant] There was no reason for him to be there. There was no, you know, anything. So, uh, joy goes up and then joy brings them up. And I mean.


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[Assistant] They don't believe it and they see them and then it's just, they, it's, I mean, the most, the biggest applause ever. It was awesome. Uh, bigger or smaller pop than when Brian got brought up the other week.


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[Assistant] Oh, now Brian's, yea, still the biggest.


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[Assistant] So, Syracuse, they go up, and I mean, it's, it's insane. So he goes up, he, and it's funny, he's like, I was joking there, I was like, and he figured like, all right, like, Fallon's gonna, you know, he hasn't done stand up. The last time he did it was with me in New Jersey.


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[Assistant] But it's, you know, he's like doing a little stand up, but he hasn't really done stand up in a long time. So you're like, alright, he'll go up there and be excited, then he'll get up. But he goes up and like destroys. The set he was doing from New Jersey, it's longer now. And it like all closes, it's all just like a solid set.


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[Assistant] So he goes out and there's 50, I'm like, good night, now I gotta go follow. You know, it's one that like New Jersey, I don't think I really thought he destroyed, but it wasn't, I didn't really think about it, but he like destroyed.


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[Assistant] And I mean, really top to bottom. And so you're like, all right, now I got it. In New Jersey, he was like not doing it a lot, right? Now he's really kind of working it.


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[Assistant] But not really, I mean this is, he went up in New Jersey and I think this is the second time he went up, but he's thought about the act a lot. Yeah, yeah.


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[Assistant] So I go up after him and then it was great. Syracuse was great. So then we go, we hang out. And he was like, I want to do the whole hang. So he rode the bus with us. So we end up hanging out, you go to bed at like four.


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[Assistant] We're already kind of not, you know, I mean, we, we stay up late, but we, it's usually not four. And so now we're up to a four, right? And so Jimmy's like, I'm like, what time? He's like, I want to get up and go do stuff tomorrow at all. Like he's fired. He's like a child.


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[Assistant] He is the energy. I would tell you if you, I always say, but if you meet him, he is.


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[Assistant] He's going to be what you want him to be. If you can meet him, meet him.


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[Assistant] Because it's, you're not going to be disappointed. Like it's don't, don't think you're going to be. He's got a ton of energy. He's excited. He just loves it all. Loves hanging out. Is very fun. Uh, so it's, uh.


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[Assistant] He goes and then so then what's his song? Uh, they play, uh,


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[Assistant] So we stay up, it was like four o'clock and then they're on the bunk.


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[Assistant] So I'm in my back bedroom. I did not show him how to turn the light off or open the doors and all the doors and shit. So if you don't know the, the there's, there's a front lounge on the bus, then the bunks are in the middle and there's, and then my bedroom is in the back.


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[Assistant] And so there's two doors that are sliding doors and they close. So when you're in the bunks, you, my door is closed and the door to the front lounge is closed. Well, we didn't shut, we didn't, I didn't tell them how to get out or turn the light off.


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[Assistant] So he says he got up to go to the bathroom and I mean, he's like, I don't know. He's like trying to push the door. He's trying to lift it up. He doesn't. It's just, it's like a electronic slide door. So it's not, and there's a little screen touch pad.


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[Assistant] But it's not, it's just not obvious. And if you don't, if you know, it then becomes very easy. And then you couldn't figure the light out either. So you slept this light on. It is just the brightest light.


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[Assistant] Like the trumpet? Yeah, like the, uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like something like that. One of those songs.


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[Assistant] So he's just doing that to all of us and it's like, all right, I guess, I guess we have to get up. And it goes on for a long time. And it was all for him just to do right when it went off from his bunk, he just goes, hello. He goes, no, everybody's asleep. I'll call you back.


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[Assistant] It was all for that. And then I told him, I was like, and you did it at nine 54. I was like, not 10. Right. It usually is around. It's just such a weird number.


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[Assistant] So then we're like, all right, we're up. So then we go in and then we go and we go look at his college, uh,


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[Assistant] And he's like telling us to walk around showing his college, go to his apartment where he lived, knocked on the door, two kids come down.


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[Assistant] They know him. They are like, they can't believe he's there. Uh, he's like, I used to live here. Like, and then we go to this, they're having like, they're, they're, they were celebrating Patty's day early there. And so this one road is like all these frat houses.


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[Assistant] And we're like, okay, uh, you know, we're like, all right, yeah, I mean, you know, it's fun, you know? And so we get out of the van and I mean, I mean, we get out of the van.


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[Assistant] He, talk about the fame, like I always mention this to comics, like you say, like talk about fame is like, there's just levels, there's just different levels of it. Where yeah, I'm, I can sell these arenas, I can do whatever. Uh, I mean it's, it's a high, high level. That, it's like Mickey Mouse walking out.


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[Assistant] There's, there's no, no one, no shape, size, color, everybody knows.


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[Assistant] It's, it's the equivalent of Mickey Mouse coming out. So Jimmy gets out and it's just boom.


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[Assistant] And then he's like walking into the thing. And I mean, it's already kind of a chaotic kind of thing. So then he goes in, he goes at the front. I mean, he's just surrounded. We get separated from him immediately and then we're not going into the thing. It's just too, it's mayhem. Travis stayed with him.


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[Assistant] So Travis is just kinda next to him, just kinda, you know, with him.


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[Assistant] They go into the, we have video, I mean, it's just, there's like TikTok videos of it. It's where, and he just went through. So then he goes in the house and he gets to the backyard. Then he comes all the way back to the house. And then we leave and we leave. I mean, they're trying to get in the van. Like we have to slam the door and knock everybody back. I mean, it's, it's like Taylor Swift.


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[Assistant] And then we just take, then we had, then the runners had to take off and then so we take off and then, uh, you know, then we go to the show and then the whole night. But it was, I mean, it was very fun. I mean, those kids will have something that...


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[Assistant] It was so crazy he couldn't have hung. Yeah. In his head, I think he thought like, I'll go in there and be playing beer pong. Like, you know, we're like, you know, he wasn't almost famous. I was about to say.


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[Assistant] So in the scene of Almost Famous, that guy goes in, everybody's like, whoa, you're here. And then everybody drinks and hangs out and it's like calmer. Right.


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[Assistant] Well, he goes in, it's, I mean, it's immediate, like once he goes in, it's like, all right, well, this is, you know, he's, it's, it's like, do it to do it, but it's like, there is no, Hey, can we just hang out? It's just insane.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. He just looks, he just looks like Jimmy Fallon. It's, it's just, there is no, is it or isn't or anything. It's just like, yeah, dude, that's Jimmy Fallon. And so he, uh, just comes, I mean, just gets mocked and, uh,


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[Assistant] But I mean, they were, they were very cool. Like they were, you know, it was crazy, but it was, you know, people were moving. Once he went through the door of the house, of this friend house, there's a bunch of different friend houses.


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[Assistant] And so once he went through the door of the frat house, one of the frat guys, we watched him. He then stood in front of the steps and he goes, it's a hundred dollars to get in and started charging other kids a hundred dollars to get out, which I mean, almost no one else really should be in there. Right.


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[Assistant] But it was like to shut a dance. And he just decided that that quickly. At that moment. That kid's gonna be successful. Yeaah. He wasn't even really, Jimmy wasn't really through the door. And then he just stood there and goes, $100 get in.


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[Assistant] It's once he goes, it's okay. I have my hat on and hood on cause it was cold. But I mean, it's just the idea of like being a recognizable face like that. There's just the difference between being on TV every day. I always like to say this with.


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[Assistant] You know, in their head, they thought they were Jimmy Fallon. Like they, they started acting like, Oh, I need.


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[Assistant] You know i need security or like they wanna be kinda diva ish.


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[Assistant] And then you're like, yo dude, you're not, I don't know if you know how famous like fame is, like it's, it's a different thing.


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[Assistant] It's, it's, yeah. I mean, if I walked in, you know, it's like, I mean, I, you know, I don't know. It's...


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[Assistant] I did not get recognized once there, but it's the attention. I mean, they're, they're just on another planet.


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[Assistant] When they come to see him, they're so, they can't believe they're seeing him. He just lives on TV.


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[Assistant] No, it was great. It was great. It's nice. It's nice to see. It's a nice reminder. It's nice. Everything just to kind of, you go like you can think in your head. You start getting a little, then you're, and Jimmy's not doing this for that reason. I'm saying I, I, I, this is something I just take inside. I would never even, I'm just saying it on this podcast. I would never even talk about this.


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[Assistant] I would have just quietly, you just, but it's just, it's nice to remind like, wherever you think you are, you're like, yeah dude, there's still plenty of places to go. You still can keep going and you can still be where, you know, I'm known as stand up.


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[Assistant] It, it, it's, it's very, very fun. I mean, it, it was very...


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[Assistant] He's the best. I mean, he's always been the best, but then even getting to hang out with him this weekend, like, you know, uh, we've hung out quite a few times.


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[Assistant] Our bunch, you know, we're friends, but then it was, but like something like this where we're with him all day, every day for two straight days. And, uh, he saw his old friends from Albany and people he lived with and, uh,


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[Assistant] So it was in the, you know, he kind of started a comedy in college at the, in Albany. So it was, uh, yeah, the whole thing was awesome. And look, I do get like, I'm selling these. I don't think it's just a different thing. It's, uh, Spade, David Spade is, you know, it's movies and stuff. People tend to know you're just everywhere. So there's.


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[Assistant] When you're in movies and TV shows and you've been around and found's been around for...


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[Assistant] 20 years, like on TV, it's like, so it's just, his name is kind of everywhere. Uh, and his face is just everywhere. He's a universal. He's a, you know, it's a ride and universal. And so it's just, uh, a different kind of thing. I think if I was like,


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[Assistant] I thought like if Shane Gillis walked in there though, I bet it could be cause that is exactly his, his group. Uh, but yeah, I mean, it was, man, it was wild.


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[Assistant] It is shorts out though. I wear every day. I got all of it on now.


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[Assistant] To work, I mean to work out or like around here. I said I don't like to wear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I was golfing or basketball or something active, it's hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This episode is a gift in the highest form. I am an aborist and I am obsessed with trees.


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[Assistant] Arbor Day is a big day, right? Are people talking about Arbor Day? I don't think so.


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[Assistant] I think so, probably, but I never thought of it since that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could you wrap it around a bark on another tree and see if it...


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[Assistant] Michael Dacco. Michael Dacco. Dacco. That's good. Sometimes these guys are hard to listen to.


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[Assistant] It made sense when it was described to me last week. But I would imagine most people don't. Cause I, you know, it's like, what?


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[Assistant] I think a lot of people were like, I don't really, if you ask them, they're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really know and then maybe if you really pressed them, they'd be like.


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[Assistant] Whatever they said last week, I thought made a ton of sense about it getting dark in the morning.


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[Assistant] Well, you were, you were like 11 30 in the morning. It's still moons out.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I do get it. I do get it for that reason. I understand it. I get why everybody thinks it's dumb. And then it's, it's like, it is, it's like, typically some cities are going to like probably get, you know, be like, you're just making our life miserable.


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[Assistant] Casey Howe, when Breakfast asked if anyone had planted anything, they responded, not a day in my life.


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[Assistant] Need I remind Nate that in the Tennessee kid, he talks about planting trees at the DuPont plant with black smoke coming out. That is true.


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[Assistant] Dusty, invest in some soaker hoses and an automatic timer. I'm probably not as busy as you are, but I do work a lot and it's a great way to keep my vegetables happy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you have a camera out there, like a trail camera?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cut it on and off from your phone.


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[Assistant] Working on two levels. That was nice. Uh, Jennifer Forrest, talk about trees.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but you're like, I'm just standing. How can I zoom out and get in the helicopter? Cause you're like Michael Dacco, who's always like, drone.


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[Assistant] Aaron said he's been, you know, if you go to anybody that talks to any normal person, people repeat stories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quick. Oh yeaah. The average person, I mean, I'm sure when we do it too, we try to be good about it, but the average person, I mean, people have maybe three stories. We're on episode 191.


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[Assistant] What, I bet people that, I bet the average person has three stories. Uh huh. Like three good stories. If I'm at a party. It's more than I got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to, you ever tried to get everybody, you're starting to tell a story, you got a funny story, Sam's saying it to Brian, y'all's kinda trill off, and then I gotta just be like, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he, and then he's like, well I was just telling Brian here, and then you gotta say it all again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you already read ahead. No, I did not read ahead. I just, uh, I want to know what happened. Well, Jennifer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is for, uh, just Jennifer and Aaron, everybody, including us, allowed to, uh, think about something else while he tells the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell it a bit differently. Look, I'll be honest with you, as long as you do comedy, more of that stuff, you won't let that stuff be out. Like, you talk yourself out of that before you're out. Oh no, you should've heard. Can I buy that from you? Yea, you take that, right? What was the joke, what, you just went on to say like what that guy...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well they might have, you know, been like, hey, we're staying on top of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bought my brother a plant. No reason for you to ask how many brothers you have. They just, it goes right into the plant story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jerome Link, I'd love to know Dusty's thoughts on planting techniques like no dig or the push for getting rid of traditional grass covered lawns and converting them into native species gardens or similar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The outside poster. I saw someone putting a fence up the other day and they had the inside of their yard being the flat side. And the backside was, uh, not that. But I think it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there was like some trees and bushes, so I don't know if it was like that because it was like, they really couldn't see anything. But yea, almost made me think it was weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I can admit that I was wrong. Zach Morgan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to say how proud I am of Nate for saying that airplanes land harder when it's raining.


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[Assistant] I'm an airline pilot and while landing hard is far from what we want to do, sometimes necessary depending on how wet the runways are. Landing a bit more firm helps us to cut through the layer of water sitting on top of the runway and prevent hydroplaning. Planing. Hydroplaning. Planing, right? Planing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are all the reason I start my past year announcements with hello folks. Oh, I love that. Look at that.


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[Assistant] You just run, but I bet you run into a thing where someone's going to be like, that you, a signal where if someone wants to sue the airlines, they get to go, all right, well now he's. He warned us. He warned me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but even if you weren't, you know, just laying hard and everybody's like, oh, glad you're safe. I think everybody's just, you know, once you- No, I was agreeing with you. I meant-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't hard at all. You know, when, um, uh, when people said we have flying cars, we'd have led them, but the airplanes are, I was thinking that this weekend, like we do have air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't, but I always think that that's, that's a weird stat. Why is that weird? Because you're interjecting, it's every other driver and blah, blah, and all that stuff like that. And there's so many more people driving than there are flying. So it's like the percentages and all that would be off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I feel myself thinking about how I wish I had more time in the day. Uh, what is the first thing you would do if you had an extra hour in your day? Maybe go over a run, nap, uh, might watch a movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. I do think you figure out more. It's hard to, to, when you have time, because you realize when you, uh, you have a lot more time than you think. You know? And so to know how to use it proper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For no additional charge, learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Nate today to get 10% off your first month. That is BetterHelp, H E L P dot com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to do that, figure out better, like, you know, realize you have time, you know, sit there during the day and you go hours of just, you know, turn TV on or do something. You're like, I'm not even doing anything. Go learn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. I once flew from DC to Detroit for a job interview and back home on the same day. It was a no lug goods situation and I was wearing a suit. It felt powerful. That is nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been thinking, I mean, I've been going where I've been thinking about like wanting to dress up more, like just during the day, like get up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know about suit, but like actually like having a put together outfit. Yeah. It's like, man, every, it's like, I'm not dressed dude. I dress like this all the time. And I just like everything, which I love this stuff. It's all comfortable, but everything's so comfortable. And it's like a weird, you know, where you're, it's just, you know, there is no more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone wearing a suit or someone, you know, adding, you know, it's like, wow, he looks very nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get cause it's like, I mean, it does look, but there is just something that's nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could've is maybe, I don't even hate to look. The tie is maybe the best length I've ever seen of a tie. Well, maybe that's it. I would use that picture to show people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lacking, lacking, lacking or lacking. Your discussion of Ernest, who I've never heard of, made me realize, know what I mean, Vern? Isn't just a phrase my family says, now I know the origin. This is an educational podcast after all. How about that? You know what I mean, Vern?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When Dusty referred to insects landing on plants by saying they light on them, I knew exactly what he was talking about. I'm from Kentucky and we always said bugs would light on things, but my husband is from California and had never heard the term.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assumed it was a southern saying, so it's surprising the other three guys did not recognize this phrase. They didn't grow up like us, Jana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terry, with regard to the weight of the planet, the planet has always weighed the same. You cannot make or destroy matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we die, our bodies go back into the earth. Matter can take different forms, but cannot be destroyed or eliminated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. I mean, there's more people. So there has to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rachel Pankow. There are six Pankow. Ninevahs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the U S and four of them are on the route of the April 8th solar eclipse. Don't doubt dust.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jacksonville. I've been to Pittsfield. Pittsfield, Mass. Oh, I lost 500 dollars. I lost 500 dollars. Oh yeaah. Life change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet they did. Look at this. Gravel Burge. Like, well no one mentions us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm kinda where we've been. This is the stuff that you should do with the time you have here in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's quite, it's pretty hard to get people to do stuff like this anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think me and Laura tried to watch it one time, like I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I started watching One Flew of the Cuckoo's Nest. I've never seen that. That one's really good. It's super sad though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I kind of stopped watching it. Uh, I bought it. It made me so mad. I was just trying to, you know, I'm trying to be like, all right, let me go watch like some culture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah. And I have really liked, like, seeing, uh, Jack Nicholson, like, being like, I wanna go watch, like, see if this actor can, like, pull me in where, you know, Daniel A. Lewis does, where, like, he watches you and you're just like, I can't not watch this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I was like, alright, I'll watch this. And so I was trying to get it, uh, it was like, it was like not that much money or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know where it's like one of those where they're renting it or buying it where like it's basically the same price. So I just bought it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, I started watching it and then I stopped like halfway through or something, uh, and then I saw, it's like on Netflix now. And I think about it every, it just makes me, because I couldn't find, I looked it up and I didn't know, now it's on Netflix, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, oh no. No, that would be fun. Vegas is its own thing. Yeah. Vegas is, it's kind of different. It's not, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's not like going to your town, like, you know, it's not like, it's, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I get it. It's a little, it's a little different. Cause you know, if you're at, where are you at? Wise guys. Wise guys. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I mean, there are, yeah, people are going to that club. Like there are people kind of go into the venues, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a trap. I'm all about it dude. I can't wait. Why do you not want them to, but you think people should be allowed to take guns on planes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, you're like, well, if we all take guns, and if someone is bad with a gun, the other people have guns. When you have a shootout on a plane, and then we just land safely, and then it's all to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, chicken, broccoli, alfredo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I like, I'm like either we're all eating breakfast or we're all eating lunch. Why do you, why do you think you care about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's, I feel, it feels weird and gross. Like if it's like someone's doing pancakes and someone's got a burger and I'm like, what are we doing? Like it feels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I understand it's 11 o'clock, you know, but I mean, you're, it's, it's, you know, we're not, yeah, we're not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess it is. It's like someone from the outside coming in your world. Cause it's like as comedy, you're like walking around. You're like, well, we all stayed up till three. We're all eating breakfast at 11 and you're just like in your own little thing. And then just someone comes in out of nowhere and is like, I'll take a salad. You're like, well, you should probably leave this table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if someone did that, I think it's a common thing, but yeah, like if someone that was on the tour did it, that would be insane to me. That I wouldn't, I don't know. It would be tough. I think I might've brought it up before, but it would be tough for me not to be like, what are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say we're all eating breakfast, right? And he'd be like, yeah. And someone's like, I want something else. I'd be like, what if I would say something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thing, I guess there's a little wiggle room with the buffet, but I still would want us to be on the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, are they gonna really mix breakfast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think if you're eating lunch, you're just saying, what are you doing here? What are you doing at a place that even is offering breakfast? The reason you're going to a place that's offering breakfast is to get breakfast. Right. That's the whole point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not called something distinct from, but that kind of works. I think that that works for like fast food. It doesn't work for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, I can't, it's too much blue cheese falling on the table and you got syrup on pancake and you're just looking at that blue cheese and you're like, dude, why don't we have blue cheese? Why is it even mozzarella sticks? You're trying to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the story that came out. Then Wendy's talked about this. I thought we made jokes about this because it was maybe on the bus. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you go in, you know, it's like try to get, you know, you can see that line at like, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three PMs like everybody knows go in there and that's when it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, just be a business or go out of business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do surge pricing. I've seen it on an airplane where you, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, I was doing it to myself. One time we were flying and I was buying, it was like us three and then my mom and dad. And so I was buying all five tickets. And as I bought the seats, they would go, like after you bought three more and I was trying to get two more, they went up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think we try to call them, they're like, it's just, it's crazy. It is what it is. Be like, but I'm trying to buy these five. Individually, these are all not that high, but because I'm trying to buy five, they're like, well, then the other two are expensive and you could watch it change. The number would change. So we had to call them to be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is this number changing? I don't know. And they're like, well, there's a lot of demand for that seat. You're like, yeah, it's me. I'm the demand. So I'm trying to buy them for this exact price.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, home this weekend and then it gears up hard as always Vegas. And then, uh, two shows, Boston garden, then Reno, Sacramento, Anaheim, uh, then the special, I think in San Jose and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Special taping, two shows, April 13th, April 14th at the Footprint Center. We're very close to this special taping. Closer than them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even, how many shows do I have to special tape me? Uh, oh, I'm doing a bunch there though. It's like 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. 12 shows. And then I'll be taping the old special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I have a weekend off after that. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it was. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have, uh, this week and then next week's kind of crazy that I'm off. And then after that, I think it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bananas, uh, until the end of the year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. All right. That's it. Well, hope you have a wonderful, wonderful week or having a week and, uh, we will see you next week. All right. Love you. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna wear the pants, but they made me take them off too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It says on the glass is limit continuous use to three minutes or use intermittently for several hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starting to, man. Starting to, man. We're only a few minutes away from totality. Yea, what time is it? It's 1.45.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say if a volcano is about to erupt, the animals will start to just run away from it. It's like they feel it in their bones or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't care about stupid things like the eclipse. Don't you think the amazing part is that we can predict exactly when it's going to happen. Just like the math of it all. Trigonometry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in a hundred years? This century, 24 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did Columbus know that, uh, that the eclipse was gonna happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true, and how did he think he had already gone around the globe? If he, if he thought the Earth was a different size than it actually is, but he still had the trigonometry there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they just stopped it. And there's been peace ever since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a open mic in Nashville years ago, full on crazy incident, guy with a kilt went insane. It was like a 30 minute disruption and I was up next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, we're totally done. Oh wow. Yeaah. Yeaah, it looks about 6.30pm right now. Yeaah. But it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you what, I'd already be back inside by now. For sure. If I were just at home. I'd go alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did that really happen? You tell a story, you change it so it works on stage, and you tell it enough times you start to just believe that that's really what happened. You know? Yes. You know what I'm talking about? My whole act.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would have had to have introduced you in some other way first. Not to defend Burbiglia. I was a minor character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or just fly through the middle of it. Give everybody a good view.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yea, it's just a little thumbnail of the sun still, but you know, the sun gets some work done. Chime!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all know building our credit score is a nightmare with the Chime Secured Credit Builder Visa credit card. It's easy to start building credit with everyday purchases and regular on-time payments with no annual fees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or interest. I mean right there, no annual fees or interest. That's pretty incredible. With the Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card, you can use it anywhere Visa credit cards are accepted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And where aren't visa cards accepted? If you're at a place where they won't take a visa card, you should just leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever overdrafted too? I have. I used to do that all the time. And then the bank charges you a fee, which you don't have because you overdrafted, and then you're trapped in a loop for generations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stop. Stop doing that. Overdraft up to $200 without fees with SpotMe when you set up qualifying direct deposit. So with Chime's secure credit card, you can start improving your credit scores right away. Get started today at Chime.com slash Nate. That's Chime.com slash Nate. Chime feels like progress. And now we got some legal jargon here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so, I think you can just call them in theory, you can just call them forever. How in theory? Indefinitely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. So it's not moving relative to us, but it's, it's, I mean, it's going pretty fast through space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a video clip. There was an eclipse in the 70s or 80s and there's a newscaster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he signs off and he says the next eclipse is coming in 2017. May it shine on a world of peace or something. And that didn't happen. But they predicted it that far out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a big debate of whether that actually happened because there's no video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, we'll go do one in a hurricane. I don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I said was that I didn't become overcome with emotion the first time and cry. Cause I saw people crying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not doing it. Your left thumb is pretty curved. Yea, that one. Yea, that one. Yea, that one curves more. My toe! Your thumb has scoliosis. What about mine? Oh my god!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree. If you're hitchhiking and you're gonna, life or death, I would not do this. No. Like both of you have distal hyper extensibility. Both do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John, hold your phone up again. Tilt it about 45 degrees to the left there. Other way, other way. Yea, that's your thumb, right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I feel myself thinking about how I wish I had more time in the day. What is the first thing you wish you would do if you had an extra hour every day? You ever think about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've said this, I don't know if it's been revealed on the podcast yet, but I'm having a kid soon. That's a lot. It can be overwhelming when you think about how your life's gonna change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes it helps just to talk to people. If you're thinking of starting therapy,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give BetterHelp a try, it's entirely online, designed to be complete, uh, convenient.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's flexible, suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch anytime for no additional charge and you don't even have to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I don't know when. Oh, you're right. I hope it happened. In an ad. I told it in an ad. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Nate to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't, I was, it's a surprise. Yeah, John might be the only person to not blame for this. He didn't know it was gonna happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's Pac-Man? I don't know if Pac-Man is famous for it's music really. I couldn't tell you the Pac-Man theme song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We met a couple times, he knew you, he knew me through you, DM'd a couple times, I think I just overplayed my hand a little bit. Yea, yea, yea. You know what's funny?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I give a little laugh emoji maybe to just ease my way back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not, not a lot. I'm not, I haven't been crazy. But yeah, enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Like thumbs up? Yea, like yea man. You killing it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In theory, it stinks. It's just a guy talking. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four minutes ago. I worked with a comment, he gave his host a very specific intro. And in the first ten minutes, we're just trashing the host for that intro. And I'm in the back with the host and he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Cena and the Rock went at it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. You're doing it. You're doing it. October 17th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The spontaneity, the spontaneity is gone. Which I think I'm kinda ready for anyway. I was living like, you know. It's great. You get to watch-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mean just download like a routine update? Like a patch? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was playing the new MLB The Show, the baseball game, and you have to like recruit and scout new players, and I'm like, I'm simmin' all this. There's no way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you been on stage at Zany's when it's raining really hard? Yeah. Dude, it's the loudest noise. You can't even hear the show. I had a buddy, my buddy Tanner was just, he got a spot at Zany's. Soon as he goes on stage, it just starts. Can't hear his set at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sour Patch Kids, what I meant to say. I had Milky Ways in mind. Oh yeaah. Thank you, what's your name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Oh yeaah. I thought it was based on how much time you're there. Well, time and status, same thing, you know, people putting their work. I'm guessing those are the pros, you go Sunday after church crowd, those are the five stars. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna be playing chess on those rocking chairs for a couple of hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start with me, I guess we'll go around. This weekend, April 11th, 12th and 13th, I'm in Grand Rapids, Michigan at Dr. Grins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because there's nothing to it. I hate when you have a, like a opening local reference that's really hot and you're able to do that all weekend and then you're like, how could I recreate this to be in my set all the time? But it never works again, but you're like, this was so good. It's better than the opener. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very confusing. I don't think the two clubs are far from each other and they're both called the Spokane Com- or the Tacoma Com- Com- Com- Com-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we have to, I have to really be like, all right, well let's, you know, let's get back in. I wouldn't, I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't know the three of us did comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never seen it. And uh, yeah, that's crazy. It almost seems like the last name is made up though, that he's a yo-yo guy like John.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That seems brutal to do that in front of college students though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't get to, you know, I didn't work with the number one yo-yo guy in the world, but I did, you know, I did. Did he host?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, you know. You're on the bonfire. Yeah, we're having a good time out here. Crackle, crackle. Yeah, it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big Jay and Robert Kelly, like, you know, they're talking about some pretty wild stuff. And I'm like, well, I'm not doing, I'm not doing any of that, but uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I just went, I did that and I did like, uh, bar stool sports. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm there for the hang. Oh yeaah. I mean, yeaah, I don't know. You know, it's like I go to the club, I do three hours of comedy, I have a great time, a little over, you know, I do a little over an hour a show, and uh, but it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I get a spot, you know, I don't know, I'm doing, you know, five or ten minutes and then I gotta, then I gotta watch a lot of comedy and, uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you are right about that, Winslow, but it's like when you're just reading a list of songs, you don't necessarily think about it. I love that song, Take It Easy, and I know that line, but I didn't think about it when we were doing it, but I was also, you know, defending my overall idea, so it was hard to focus on the city names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what if you had just done comedy in Winslow? For instance. Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They really didn't though. I'm not offended, but they really didn't. No one told me about it at all. His girlfriend. His girlfriend put together the list. I met her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but- I went to his party. He did. But you gotta realize, you're not- He stole your album release. Yeah. Yeah. We know each other very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know Lucy pretty well too. Well, I think she sees you enough. Yeah, pretty well. But I appreciate the invite though, guys. I'm happy to be there. I hope the party goes well. I hope John has a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew about it though. This is not a surprise. I like bringing it up though. Yeah. Oh, you knew about it? I knew about the party, but I also knew that I wasn't invited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Do you think Rory Allen though, wanted the, I guess he did want the bodyguard or else he wouldn't have hired him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm not seeing it. Well maybe that's- Nah, he's doing- I'm sure he's doing a great job, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your take on uh, on soda? Start drinking again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that you, you know, you just go for eating the food. I think that, uh, even drink, like drinking while eating can affect your digestion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you're supposed to like, your saliva is supposed to like, it's all part of the breaking down process.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cole's a good guy. I'm joking. To you and to the podcast. That's right. Yes. So much so that you're like, what is he doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find the autograph is weird because uh, I just think that it's like me signing my name is worthless, but it doesn't bother me to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, I mean, I, you know, I'm okay, but I just, I dunno, it seems like, like, as a person that used to get people's autographs, it feels weird to be the guy doing it. I'm like, oh, who am I to be doing this? Right, right. But, you know, I don't mind doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did have some guys do that recently and I was like, they had a stack. I was like, I'll do two of these. I was like, that's too much. I don't know what you're doing here. It just seems too weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I said I'll do a couple of these, but I don't know what, it just weirds me out. You're waiting at the show, you got a stack of them in some FedEx envelope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, why do you want me to sign all of these? Cause if you have a, either you're, I don't know, trying to sell them or you're, you got some weird shrine going on either way. I'm not trying to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're like grubs, right? And then they, uh, become those little skeletons on the tree. They emerge from the skeleton on the tree. So what are they doing on the ground? Just hanging out, waiting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think, you know, people often misinterpret what I'm saying. I'm saying in the, in an ideal world, we would wake up when the sun comes up, irregardless, I know that's not a word, but regardless of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would wake up when the sun comes up and then we would go to sleep and it goes down. Maybe we'll, you know, maybe we're up for a couple hours with some candles or whatever, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'm not saying, uh, but I just think it's better to have the daylight longer in the day than in the morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can wake up, have yourself a coke, wait for the sun to come up and then go to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you got sonned later in the day. Come on, J-Fed. Well, you've already replied to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think? I try to not do it every week, but sometimes I'll go, I'll be, you know, I'll be like this Wednesday, I was at the airport when the podcast came out. So I'm just hanging out and I'm like, Oh, podcast is out. Let's see what people are saying. And then I'm like, Oh, here we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a move, you know what I mean? It's five o'clock somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was just there, and uh, yeaah. That's the way to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think a metal detector, you know, you make sure people, you know, you go through something, you don't have guns, you don't have knives, but the rest of the stuff, there are no guns though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm fine with a metal detector, but it's like, yeah, I mean, like no water. You can't bring your water in here. And it's like, and, and I got honey taken from me one time and it's just, I couldn't take my thing of yogurt through the other day. It's like, come on guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go, Oh, I'd just like to opt out and do a pat down. Then they really come at you hard. Like you're like some kind of criminal. And it's like, well, what I did was I just bought a ticket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good, no record. I bet some, I mean, you know, they scanned your ID, so all that stuff comes up.