[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go full throttle into spring electric bikes, the number one selling e-bikes in the nation. Get your adventure started at, at electricebikes.com. And please mention that the Nate Land podcast sent you in the post checkout survey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think I skipped one, did I skip Jesse Briggs? You did. Uh, Jesse Briggs, I wish more podcasts than the general public talked about March Madness. Madness. Madness. Oh, I thought, that's what he put? March Madness? Oh, you know what March Madness is? Yeah, I read it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, March Madness, M-A-T-ness, is the NCAA Division I College Wrestling National Tournament. Basketball always outshines wrestling, but wrestling is my favorite sport, and I would love to hear more of these guys trying to understand the crazy sport of folk-style wrestling. Jesse, I win.


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[Assistant] What's this kid, I've seen a couple of things about a kid making the olympics.


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[Assistant] Alright. So we'll see. Look at that. The whole... See, Reston's gonna go by the wayside.


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[Assistant] It's great. You get to watch every, it just, you feel relief. You get to watch your sports or whatever. You just become not as of a crazy person. Well, so then you get it back off and just be normal. Normal. Yeah. Yeah. You're watching like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're, like, I watch the Masters this week, and, you know, it's like, but whatever it is, you're just life, there's just other stuff now, so you don't, you know, you're like, I'm not watching...


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[Assistant] I try to watch the titans every game, but like, if I don't, I don't. You know, and Mao...


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[Assistant] No, you keep... Yeaah, I was like with comedy, it was, uh...


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[Assistant] But I didn't play, video games just went away naturally too, just cause they, I'll play them some now, but you're just, he's about at the age where you start.


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[Assistant] No, it's crazy, man. I don't think I have it hooked. Stuff got hooked up so crazy and weird. There's no more just turning it on and just getting to it. Oh, that's for sure. I don't like, I never like playing online. And so there's no more just turning it on and be like, I just want to play.


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[Assistant] A regular game. I mean my, oh I had an old joke about it this season, the Vince Young joke. But like when you play in your, it's like, you know, what are you doing? You gotta, I gotta re-sign people and you're like, alright, gotta press hot dogs. Yeah, gotta show the price of hot dogs.


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[Assistant] Uh, we have a PlayStation 4. Yeah. My girlfriend knows.


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[Assistant] But I would do it like when I watch a movie or something, like some of it's just a, really it's background noise. So it's like I'm just, I have it on to, cause I'm thinking about a hundred things.


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[Assistant] That's why video games can be good, cause you can go in, you're like, it's, if you're playing football, you're like, uhm, you can just think about everything, but get it.


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[Assistant] I, like I read, uh, I read the Vaynerbelt forums.


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[Assistant] But you don't contribute. I've never posted. There you go. And I just, and I don't read them, but I'll read them as, you know, like you're just kind of like seeing like what's the vibe with what's going on. I just kind of look at a few of them and then you move on.


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[Assistant] Alright, Jimmy Trent. I called an Uber.


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[Assistant] To take me home around 2 a.m. As the driver pulled up to the drop off location, he was in the middle of telling some story. I didn't care and went to get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He reached all the way to the back passenger side door, shut it, looked me in the eye and said, not until I finish my story.


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[Assistant] I said, this is how true crime podcast started and took off. He did not get 5 stars from that night. Yea, that's crazy.


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[Assistant] They're, uh, what's a handicapped bark look like at your high school reunion? Pretty full?


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[Assistant] Lights just flip on, and then flip back off. Which was insane. Yeaah. It's crazy to be, you're in it, you know, it's dark, you're in the story, and then just, like, cafeteria lights. Yeah. And everybody's just looking at you, then they just go off.


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[Assistant] A guy, the guy fumbled, he's like, I don't know. Then I made a joke about it, like I was like, you think, as like, it'd be funny if like, the light switch for this


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[Assistant] You know, and that's, when there's mess ups, you're like, just don't, don't, you can get me anywhere. Don't get me on, you know, the closer is the one that's the toughest. Cause you're like, I got, I'm just, now I'm getting off. I'm trying to be in this rhythm of to get it off and fireworks started going off. And I, so I hear boom, boom, boom.


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[Assistant] Uh, and I go, I still gotta do the joke. Uh, yeah. No, so, there's an angels game that just got out. It's in the parking lot.


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[Assistant] I know, well yeaah. So you hear boom, boom, and like we had, you know, no heads up, like it's almost, because


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[Assistant] I think it's cause, you know, in comedy's a weird thing where you're like, you know, of a band, those go off, no one even can really tell.


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[Assistant] And with comedy is like everybody's kinda quiet and listening. So, so the fireworks start going.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. They go, uh, there's a guy sitting in the front row and he goes, I think someone's car alarm's going off.


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[Assistant] That's cool. So, Aaron's about done with it.


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[Assistant] A little fun side note, Nick Novicki, I know his, he will, if you're talking about something and he's done with hearing about you talk about that thing, he'll just say what the, you could probably see it.


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[Assistant] I wonder if he's done our podcast, like, say we're out here and we're talking about the eclipse, but Nick wants to move on and talk about something else. So he'll just wait for the quiet moment and he goes, Eclipse?


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[Assistant] He's done with basketball, and he could not even be involved in it. He's just like, he's got something he wants to bring up though. Anyway, so the fireworks go off, and you hear it, and everybody can hear it, but it's that moment where you go, I'm in the end, I need to just do it.


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[Assistant] I was like, I think I could just probably plow through it and like, people just can be like, hey fireworks going off. But then you saw flashes.


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[Assistant] And then I started, uh, and then I.


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[Assistant] So I talked about fireworks for a good little bit and I was trying to do it to just long enough, you know, where you're kind of being like, all right, maybe if I do three minutes on fireworks, these things will be done. And they weren't, they never got done. I just had to go, well, I got to do it. I think I finished in the grand finale of the fireworks.


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[Assistant] Historic plaza theater by hoomsburg. Oh, yeah, I got Starbucks.


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[Assistant] No. That's what drives me nuts about the game. Well it does, it does happen and that, that was the same. Somebody, yes. So everybody kinda said to him like, if you would just give this a heads up, like, the Angel game, and you don't know when that game's gonna be over.


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[Assistant] But if you said, when the Angels game's over, like, you know, so then we can maybe turn on the Angels game and kinda keep an eye on it. We started late.


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[Assistant] Because it's an arena, so sometimes you're, you know, you'll be like 7 o'clock star, maybe we try to start at 7, 10, 15, but sometimes it's like 7.30 because it's just slow, people getting in, especially in California where there's traffic and, uh,


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[Assistant] And so we were kinda having to push it, and then it was just, it just timed out perfectly. How long do you think they lasted? 12 minutes. That to me makes me don't think.


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[Assistant] No, they do. They do. So it had nothing to do with them winning. It just, that was... No, I know. I think it had to. I thought it had to. Well, I thought it was either them or Disney because they were in Anaheim. It could be Disney. It could be Disney. They said it was too far away. So, but everybody that worked there was like, yeah, yeah, they do 12 minutes every Saturday when they, I guess, in the Angels games or whatever. I don't know. Maybe, I don't know if it's a winner or a loss, but they did win. Huh?


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[Assistant] 12 minute fireworks show? Just for a regular season win?


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a long one, man. Yeah, it was definitely a long one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, I thought there was something else I was going to say.


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[Assistant] I don't, comedy, where we don't get taken.


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[Assistant] Serious. And part of it is none of us believe we should be taken serious. Comedy comes from that thing. But it's the only time, I don't care what you do to me. It's the show. It's the audience. I'm doing this to make the audience. I want it to be good for them.


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[Assistant] And the show to be, yea, like if you mess up on something on me, but comedy, we're the only ones that can really kind of bounce back from anything that happens.


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[Assistant] I think, but Red Lobster, I think, Red Lobster, I don't know if it can be sprung on me. Like, and I definitely don't think I could wake up and just get my, and I can get my mind right. I can eat a hamburger in my bed when I wake up, but I don't know if I can get it.


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[Assistant] Let me see if they got one. Well then I might. Yeah. But I, yeah, I think red lobsters, uh. You definitely get a steak. Yeah. It's just, yeah, it's, it feels, red lobsters are dark.


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[Assistant] Uh, it was the whole thing, it was, it was great. It was, uh, it was like, it was one that when you first eat it, you're like, I don't know if this is good, then you can't stop eating it, and you're like, I think it's pretty good. I think it was like, kind of grape slushy with ice cream.


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[Assistant] I thought it was that good. I think they got it right.


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[Assistant] No, I thought it was very cool. But ours were, yeah, I think our last time the moon was bigger, the moon has lost weight. Or it moved an inch. An inch.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And then so I, uh, but the last one was, the last one was the craziest. It was just in Nashville. It was, it was night time.


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[Assistant] No it was, no it did like this, but I mean it was nighttime. I mean, we're finding the video, you hear crickets are going crazy. I couldn't, I hit a golf ball, I couldn't see the golf ball. It was like hitting it dark. You could have always seen the golf ball the whole time here.


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[Assistant] Uh, you would have, no I think you would have lost it, but it wasn't, it was uh, do you, you don't remember the last one? Yea, I was there. I was in St. Louis. Oh, were you? So you weren't in Toe Tower. Oh yea, I wasn't in Toe Tower.


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[Assistant] Is that our drone? Oh, we got a drone. Was it, uh, yeaah, I think it is.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. It's, uh, just full blown sun right now.


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[Assistant] Major marketers. Yeaah. Yeaah. We should have let Brian go first. Yeaah. Yeaah. On our way down.


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[Assistant] Alright. I got, uh, I got a San Jose, uh, on this week and then Phoenix. Taping my special this weekend, uh, Footprint Center, Phoenix. Excited to tape it. That's great. Uh, can't wait. So, uh. That's what the Suns play? That's what the Suns play.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah, we need some, I think it's on the folks to enough it. You know, you set the trend last time. The last special taping? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] He was in, uh, he just happened to be in Phoenix that weekend. It was like great, it worked out. Yeah, but you see him on the, the tape. He makes quite a few appearances. He puts it on his website.


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[Assistant] Thank you. All right. All right. Well, that's it. This is our, yeah, this is travel edition. Maybe try it again. I liked it coming up. I want to thank McCracken high school. Uh, Amanda.


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[Assistant] Uh, my wife's, uh, best friend, she teaches here. And, uh, so she was, uh, uh, one that got us to be able to come out here and. Sweet. Cause they're, they, they closed school in Paducah for this. Oh yeah. Oh really? Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Football team six.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's Trinity. That's a big school in Louisville. That's like, uh, Trinity is, they play Trinity and they play in the Louisville stadium, right? They play in the big one. St. X. Trinity and St. X, they play where Louisville Cardinals play and it sells out.


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[Assistant] Uh, so, alright, well Mustangs. Thank you. We're giant fans. Yes. And we thank you for letting us come out. We hope, uh, alright, we hope you guys all have a great, wonderful, uh, week. And, uh, we will see you, uh, next week. We love you. Bye.


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[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Vargetse. And my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think you'll ever retire from comedy? Do you think you'll quit when you're on top or do you think you'll just fade away?


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[Assistant] Not for myself, but I think about stand-up comedy so young, there's not really like a playbook for how people end their careers or if they ever do. I mean, you thinking that far in the future is for both of y'all. Uh, I'll quit. Yeah.


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[Assistant] No, I was not getting emotional, but it was just too intense. It was such an intense energy and I don't even know what the guy was talking about. He's just yelling about stuff. So I had to step outside.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, maybe we should do a poem, poetry episode later.


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[Assistant] Pros is just like regular writing, like it's sentences, paragraphs, and like you're writing a story.


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[Assistant] And it's not artistic. The form isn't artistic at all. You know what I mean? Like you read a book, that's prose. Right.


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[Assistant] But if you're not, if you're not trying to rhyme it, it's like, why, why do you, it's not poetry.


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[Assistant] Including his best friend stab with 44 times or something crazy. Yeah. Yeah. He just got rid of it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, she have them a few times. All right, Jules.


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[Assistant] Did he have family? It doesn't sound like it. He had one kid.


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[Assistant] He's married to one woman for two years and then, uh, got married in 1985. Couple different whys, one kid.


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[Assistant] I'll do a dive on this guy, I've never heard of him. Henry Charles Bukowski.


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[Assistant] With the intention to actually deceive somebody? Yeah. No, I don't think I ever have.


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[Assistant] Biggest trouble I ever got in as a kid was our class photo for second grade.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I was sitting in the front and I had a bunch of pencils in my hand and


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[Assistant] I don't know why I was just trying to do something weird for the photo. Have I told you this story? I don't know. And I had a pencil between my fingers.


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[Assistant] And they took the picture, my teacher thought I was flipping the camera off.


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[Assistant] And it was a huge deal. I remember my parents got called in. I had to sit down with the principal. They thought I was just giving the bird.


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[Assistant] Yeah. To our class picture and I'm sitting there arguing, I was just holding pencils. I got in so much trouble, dude. Nobody believed me. Nobody had my back.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. Are you trying to be like the Wolverine or something? It was just like that. That's what I was kind of going for. Just being silly. I don't even remember what I was doing.


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[Assistant] Look at me slumming out here with these kids. I think it was just small enough in the picture that it was hard to tell what it was. But man, were they mad at me. Ruin the class picture.


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[Assistant] They're probably combined in a couple different pictures.


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[Assistant] And then, you know, you lose track of which hands where so now you got like phantom hands all around. It's odd looking.


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[Assistant] Now she had somebody do this, right? I can't imagine Kate Middleton sitting at a laptop.


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[Assistant] It must have been from another picture where Ham was on the other side of the...


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[Assistant] They were really cruising for a while. A few thousand years they were.


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[Assistant] Well, I wish them the best. All of them. Yeah. I hope family does well.


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[Assistant] Well, what was the line we kept saying about Vincennes? I went there once and I ain't Vincennes.


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[Assistant] It depends, the day depends on the climate and the suitable planting season, but it's typical arbor day stuff.


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[Assistant] Michael, why don't you type up some stuff, send it to us and we'll take a look at it.


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[Assistant] How about that? We just discovered that was probably for Arbor Day. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I forgot. I don't think Nate went, this wasn't Nate's. He didn't, he didn't take the initiative on this.


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[Assistant] Either flip side of that, as you ever look around, you're like, I'm the only one listening to this guy. So now I gotta really be like-


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[Assistant] I feel like I'm building it up too much, but I was buying my brother some plants and it was expensive. Plants are expensive. I got him this nice cactus that you guys trash, but it was a nice cactus.


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[Assistant] But this was a, I mean, you should see cactus. It doesn't have the prickly stuff. It looks like just kind of green blob smooth. It's nice and smooth. You could rub your whole hand all over it anyway. So I'm checking out and it's expensive. And I said to my brother, I said, if one of these dies, I'll be pretty mad.


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[Assistant] In the cashier, who I didn't even know was there, he just goes, I won't let that happen.


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[Assistant] Was that a threat or was he saying he wants to like stay involved with these plans? What did he mean? I don't know what he meant at all. I think he was trying to maybe get a, give us his card and like check in on them or something, but I turned that down pretty quick.


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[Assistant] I tried that on stage for so long. Nobody ever cared about that. It was funny.


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[Assistant] I love that you assumed this was a Home Depot. This was not a Home Depot.


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[Assistant] This is like some plant nursery, some kind of, they're all hip and cool.


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[Assistant] You don't understand how landing a plane works? Hard to listen to.


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[Assistant] Drew, I don't know why I even- But I'm just saying, give us a heads up.


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[Assistant] We might land a little harder than you expect, but everything's fine. I don't know if you can say that in a way that's not panic inducing.


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[Assistant] They're safer than cars. Isn't that crazy?


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[Assistant] This was why the movie Rain Man, the whole premise of Rain Man.


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[Assistant] Okay. So it's Tom Cruise and he has a brother who's Dustin.


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[Assistant] Dustin Hoffman, it doesn't often will not get on a plane because he knows all the stats of...


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[Assistant] Which airline had this many crashes? So he won't agree to get on a plane, but he will agree to go on a cross country trip in a convertible.


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[Assistant] You're like, well, that's way more dangerous. You're way more likely to get in a car accident than a plane is to crash. Right? You've seen the movie.


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[Assistant] I used to have player coaches way back in the day, so they would be wearing the uniform.


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[Assistant] Which I think might be why they still wear the uniform today, but NBA coaches still wear suits.


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[Assistant] Remember Al Golden on Miami? He used to wear a tie on the sideline. And he looked like a bit of a goober. Gene Stalin's for Al.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, well the old Bear Bryant would wear the suit too with the Howl's Tooth hat.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but he just looked like, uh, it was so rare when he was there. 2012, he was wearing a tie on the sideline.


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[Assistant] The more I talk about it, the more I see it, the more I kinda like it. We need to return to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice to just kill lightning bugs there with a tennis racket. Let's just go out there and just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hot summer's night with a tennis racket. Yeah. I go out there and just swat at them, dude.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well that's, that's the flaw, and I think Terry's comment is, you're assuming that the Earth is a closed system. I mean, stuff can come in from outer space.


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[Assistant] I think the biggest disconnect here is I think you're thinking of the atmosphere as some kind of ceiling that's just there. But what it is, is that it's, it's, it's the outer limits of the gravitational pull from the earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those rovers are still there too, right? Didn't we leave those? So yeah.


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[Assistant] But you're talking about like it's a door or like we're poking a hole in a ship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not like that gas is trying to get out and it's being held in by something. It's being pulled down to the gravity of the earth. So if something goes through it, it's still going to be affected by the gravity of the earth. It's not like they're by a door that's waiting to get kicked open.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well have you ever wondered, I've been meaning to ask you guys about this. We're waiting for the right time. Have you ever wondered how much of your personal data is out there on the internet for anybody to see?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sold to the highest bidders online. Nate and Laura have been using DeleteMe for a long time and I signed up too. I get reports monthly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the internet. What are you waiting for? Take control of your data, data, and keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me. Now at a special discount for our listeners. Today get 20% off your Delete Me plan when you go to joindeleteeme.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And use promo code Nate at checkout. The only way to get 20% off is to go to JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate and enter code Nate at checkout. That's J-O-I-N-D-E-L-E-T-E-M-E dot com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just went to banger. Banger main.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it's Reno, Chicago, Fargo, Minnesota, Buffalo, Toronto, Winslow, Sarasota. What is Winslow?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know what Toka Pilla Baron baron killer or Padilla is.


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[Assistant] I think Panama City Beach counts as Panama. I've been there. Yeah. I don't know what La Paloma is either.


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[Assistant] Is that Kingston, Tennessee? Isn't there Kings?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then that counts, right? You've been there. What county is it in?


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I guess so. Tennessee, Tennessee, Chicopee. Chicopee. Never heard of that.


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[Assistant] And here are the big heavy hitters here. Verse 3 is where you really get into it, right? Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never. We start talking about this. You're from Baraboo and you're like, Oh man, they're going to talk about Baraboo. It just never happens. Chaska, Nebraska, Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was feeling the weight of it as I'm scrolling through. Look up Gravelburg. See, that's a city. Gravelburg, a small multicultural town in Saskatchewan and a key link on the Trans-Canada Trail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think he went to half these places. I don't think he went to Mount Julia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw, I saw Johnny Cash and Mel Julia. Is that when we saw him on the train? Yep. Okay. He lived in Hendersonville. Of all the cities I could have picked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I moved to Hendersonville, they used to say, you know, this is where Johnny Cash lived and he would get so drunk in Nashville, he would walk all the way back to Hendersonville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He walks all the way back to Hendersonville, but if you get Nashville to Hendersonville, Tennessee is how long a walk is this?


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's pretty awesome. They did a new, did they talk about the new one they did? They did one a few years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are the world 25 year anniversary or something. With Taylor Swift? Nah, I don't even know if she was on it, but Justin Bieber and like Usher and Snoop Dogg and everybody. Not quite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's ridiculous. If that, I mean, I'll be so mad if that's the case, but I doubt it is. Shawshank's still number one on the top 250.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dune to replace Shawshank. The Brian Bates personal ranking. What is this?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I don't know if it's like the go to reference list, but I feel like this is an aggregate of all the IMDB voters on here.


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[Assistant] We'll find it. It's not going to be hard.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Okay. There is room for discussion. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't know if there's reason for it, but there's definitely room.


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[Assistant] Self-screening? What is this all about? It's only at the Las Vegas airport for now, and only for TSA PreCheck customers, and only using the English language.


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[Assistant] Okay, so it incorporates a screen with do-it-yourself instructions telling people how to smoothly pass themselves and their carry-on luggage through pre-flight screening with little or no help from the uniformed TSA officers.


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[Assistant] How about that? They want to avoid passengers having to be padded down according to the Homeland Security.


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[Assistant] How about that? That's interesting. I can't wait to try that out. I'll be flying out of there in a couple of weeks. So you just let you do it. It's man.


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[Assistant] But if you can do it yourself and get through there quick, it's like, yeah, I don't mind it.


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[Assistant] Just a normal guy in a bit of a hurry with a gun on him sweating a bit.


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[Assistant] How about that, dude? Welcome to the future. Ladies and gentlemen.


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[Assistant] I don't really have a choice but to force myself to enjoy the experience.


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[Assistant] It's my new life philosophy. When you're dreading something, just convince yourself that it's going to be great. You know, find a way to enjoy it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. All right. I'm gonna, I love it. I can't wait to go through TSA Las Vegas.


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[Assistant] You're holding somebody by the neck. We're getting breakfast, right?


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[Assistant] Maybe pancakes with a side salad.


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[Assistant] Buffet probably changes things, right? Buffet is a whatever.


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[Assistant] But maybe like a second trip, like I want to go try something else over there.


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[Assistant] That's the whole point of this IHOP and Applebee is that they're like, let's, let's just, let's own the whole day. What's their name again?


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[Assistant] We're just Applebee slash IHOP.


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[Assistant] Just put both logos on there. That's like the Taco Bell KFC or something. Yeah, they have both logos up there.


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[Assistant] They're going to share a kitchen. The back of the house will be shared. And then they blend the front of the house for both brands. They said. Interesting. I love it. I can't wait.


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[Assistant] You have me doubting whether we did or not, but you've already agreed Brian has the best memory about this.


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[Assistant] Right, well that's what people were worried about and they're saying that's not what they were doing. But I, but, it feels like that's what they were planning on doing.


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[Assistant] I don't know. I thought you brought it. No, I don't know what this is. Oh, okay. Better put that away. Uh, sorry Destin. Oh yeaah. I didn't bring this. This is a magic wand. I didn't bring this in at all. I thought you seemed like you would. This isn't one of the ones that I recognize. It's not the Elder Wand.


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[Assistant] If you want to come do spots at wise guys, I'm probably give you a few minutes.


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[Assistant] I'll be there the other weekend you have off. I'm saying if you're trying to hop in there.


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[Assistant] This weekend is Aaron, by the way, I'm in Lowell, Arkansas at the Grove comedy club, Northwest Arkansas. Yeah, just, you couldn't hear the age in that. Um, and then, and then I'm in Las Vegas at wise guys at the end of March. So come on out, Aaron Weber comedy.com.


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[Assistant] 20, 30 seconds. Build in the laughter and then it's not there. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you can do that. Yeah, I'm not even at that downtown club. They have two clubs now. Oh, really? So I'm at the cool one. Yeah, and they're very... That was Tacoma or Spokane? No, Tacoma.


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[Assistant] Well, first we had a birthday party for my daughter. Oh, yeah. And then I hit the road to Columbia, Tennessee at the meal house with Heather Land and Landon Bright.


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[Assistant] Well, that's a good thing to get to sleep in your own bed and show's good. The show was good. Yeah.


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[Assistant] What was it last week? There was another profession that obscure and you were like, kind of making fun of like the same thing. Like you're the top three.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you can tell you're off this weekend. Finally bringing some energy to this broadcast.


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[Assistant] Just to clarify, it's Monday. It's already passed when this podcast comes out.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I gotta take some Lucy say if you want to roast John Chris and I told Dusty, I just gotta take some Lucy.


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[Assistant] Start drinking again. Well, I love it because the whole Calgate started with me asking you if you could ever be difficult on the road. And when you share stories like everyone has to order what I say for breakfast. I look at the camera like Jim from the office and kind of wink like, there you go.


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[Assistant] You're a big enough act where even, most people don't like how they look in photos, but you're big enough where it's worth it to them, even if they don't feel like they look good, to post it. I'm the type where the majority of people take pictures of me, I never see it. Because they're like, ah, that's not worth it. Because you don't look good in it.


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[Assistant] It's like the girl that I've told that story, but I was at your show and I was on it and I remember her and she didn't remember me.


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[Assistant] Did you do like an estimate, like a sort of section and count them? Or how'd you come up with that number?


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[Assistant] I don't know. Yeaah. No, let's say Troy's right. What would you guys be about?


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I would disagree with you and Nick, but you want the most secure. Well, I just feel like we, you know, I mean, nine 11 has been over 20 years. So now everybody's kind of, you know, forgetting about it.


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[Assistant] No, and then the shoe bomber guy happened right after that. So that's when we got to stop taking.


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[Assistant] I like that he thinks a college graduate is going to do some physics. I had a communications major.


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[Assistant] That's right. That's what it's all about. You know what I can't get my head around is March Madness is starting this week. The odds, how many different, I don't even know how to say it, brackets.


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[Assistant] There can be, it's some astronomical number and I get, it would be a huge number, but it's so high. I can't even.


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[Assistant] But if you're, I understand, but if you said guess how many it could be, I'd say 50,000. Wow. I don't know.


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[Assistant] I always thought the tip of the tie was supposed to touch the very top of the belt.


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[Assistant] You know, Mike? I do. You've asked that three times. Okay. Uh, that's not the same guy.


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[Assistant] Well, I feel bad for saying that, but when you asked it the second time, I was like, Dusty, you've asked that before.


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[Assistant] Uh, well this week, uh, a lot of people this past week and this coming week, spring break, headed to Florida.


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[Assistant] I think maybe we've never talked about Florida. Not as his own episode.


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[Assistant] I mean, there's always guys I think about if they ever came on, like I saved Colorado for a long time in case Dan Soder every can.


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[Assistant] Pennsylvania and Ohio, but do you consider Florida the South?


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[Assistant] The SEC, Florida is in the SEC. So I think Northern Florida is kind of like Alabama. But then Southern Florida, I think of old retirees from like New York.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I did a cummys own, I think Fort Walton beach. Right. And they have a mechanical bull. Y'all done that one? No.


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[Assistant] Hmm. Florida is the third largest state for population. That kinda surprised me.


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[Assistant] But when you think about Florida, it does have a lot of big, big cities. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] So many people have moved there, I think. I feel like it's a state though that people like to hate on.


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[Assistant] I went once, uh, in college with a buddy and


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[Assistant] The first day on the beach, I didn't realize how burned I'm getting.


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[Assistant] Hey, I was so fried that the rest of the weekend I just had to stay inside the hotel because I was just...


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[Assistant] Burned so badly, we were in like a $39 hotel that was just...


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[Assistant] It was just so bad, but the whole weekend, I couldn't even leave, I was just in pain.


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[Assistant] You go in at the end of the day, you're like, uh-oh, this is a huge, it like sets in even after you get inside. Oh yeah. I'm like, it's worse.


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[Assistant] My buddy's like going out bringing home girls and I'm like, hang on, the weather's coming on.


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[Assistant] What I didn't have then, which I wish I had, was ZocDoc. I could have used it then. I could have called from Panama City.


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[Assistant] That is helpful for people that are on the go or work different. I'm playing chess, you guys are playing chess. So work different hours like we do. I'll take over. Are you the one?


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[Assistant] Friend in the friend group that loves to treat yourself. Well, yes I am. It's okay. Honestly, we all do it.


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[Assistant] Opt for that extra leg room, seat on the plane because your vacation starts now. Right.


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[Assistant] Well, if you treat yourself to the top options with everything in life, why settle for finding a doctor? It's your health after all.


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[Assistant] ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search, compare highly rated and network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.


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[Assistant] Go to ZocDoc.com slash Nate and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today.


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[Assistant] That's z-o-c-d-o-c-dot-com-slash-nate-zoc-dot-dot-com-slash-nate.


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[Assistant] Or if it's a cheap sunglass, it could hurt your eyes because it'll open your pupils, but it's still those bad rays are getting through.


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[Assistant] And there, that's what. If you're listening, that's a brand. That's not Nate.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Well, I think it was Vince Coleman, baseball player, who lost a- Everyone knows Vince Coleman.


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[Assistant] It was always just a, could be one of those urban legend stories is not even true, but that was always the story about him.


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[Assistant] The baseball player, he like led the league in stolen bases every year for a while. And in the playoff game, somehow the automatic tarp that comes on the field got caught in his leg. His leg got caught in it and he got injured.


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[Assistant] Like, no, he recovered eventually, but he got injured somehow, like just a freak accident before the game.


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[Assistant] So Florida was discovered by Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon.


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[Assistant] Famous Explorer. Some people think he was searching for the Fountain of Youth in Florida. Dusty. You believe in the Fountain of Youth?


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[Assistant] The land is the same age, I guess, yeaah. But it was established, I guess, the earliest. 1565. It was founded by the Spanish. You know what Florida means? You like the name?


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[Assistant] More than Kansas? That's wild. The lowest high point is 345 feet.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the highest, the highest point. In Florida. Yeah, I don't know why it's the lowest high point. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I mean, it was just something as simple as that. There's no marker. There's no obvious. Some geographer found out what it was and he just went and stood there. Wow. That's fun.


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[Assistant] That's your favorite one. That's why they did the story. Because, you know, this guy's been all these great points and then this is just, all right, stand right there.


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[Assistant] They do have a lot of cows in Florida. A few weeks ago we were like, didn't think that would be a cow place, but it's one of the most. Probably a good place for butcher box.


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[Assistant] There's the most famous celebrity from each state, but then there's the one you associate with that exactly.


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[Assistant] A lot of famous people I couldn't tell you where they're from. Like we talked about Tom Cruise. We had to look it up.


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[Assistant] What did you say? Emmett Smith. Well, he is from there. He played in Florida. He played there, yea. Is he from Florida? I think he grew up there, right?


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[Assistant] I would say now he didn't, wasn't born there, but Trump.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I have a list here of some famous people from Florida.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Miami vice was so big back in the day. And then that Phil Collins song in the air tonight, they played it on that show and that kind of made it like take off.


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[Assistant] Last week it was the, uh, pilot over the intercom.


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[Assistant] And now it's just kind of become it's own thing of just any weird thing that happens.


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[Assistant] Largest single site employer in the U.S. Walt Disney World.


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[Assistant] Like Walmart's, Walmart's the biggest, but as far as one location, Disney World's the biggest.


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[Assistant] And Magic Kingdom is the most visited theme park in the world.


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[Assistant] Uh, sports, ton of professional teams in, in Florida. They've all won championships. Florida Marlins have won two World Series. Orlando hasn't.


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[Assistant] Well, I didn't mean every team. I mean, I guess every sport, there's been a championship that, like in baseball, the Florida Marlins have won two World Series.


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[Assistant] Yeah. When I, in the eighties, when, again, my day, the University of Miami was the college football team. Oh yeah. Yeah. The U.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Florida, the nineties with Spurrier was dominant for state with Bobby Bowden, but those coaches.


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[Assistant] I mean, I think we've covered Florida very thoroughly. I think even people in Florida are like, wow, that's everything.


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[Assistant] This weekend, I'm in Tacoma, Washington, Tacoma Comedy Club. Again, there's two locations, so make sure you come to the right one. Uhm. Your fan's gonna do some work. Yeah. I believe it's 6th and Proctor, I believe is the location.


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[Assistant] Uh, and then Sunday I'm in Portland at Oregon at Helium Comedy Club. Great club. Go downtown, check out what's happening down there.


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[Assistant] Uh, April 6th, I'm in Miamisburg, uh, Ohio, the Plaza Theater, and then April 20th, I'm in, uh, Moberly, Missouri, also at a theater. I can't think of the name of it. Right. I don't get the big cities, but I get the small towns. I'm learning a lot of news. It'll be in Gravelburg.


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[Assistant] That's where the real people are. I don't sell out, you know.


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[Assistant] So she goes, okay. And I see her walk out in the hallway and like a group of them, and they kind of all look at me at once and then look back. They're just talking trash out there, dude.


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[Assistant] Pope Greg. That's so funny. I've never heard that. Shortening it.


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[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Magic Spoon, Rocket Money, Delete Me, and Robin Hood.


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[Assistant] Hello folks, and hey bear, as always, I'm Brian Bates, here with Dusty Slay.


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[Assistant] It's all about timing. Aaron Weber. Nate is not here. I talked to Nate this morning.


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[Assistant] Now he, he is spending time with his family. He had shows in Florida this weekend, as did I. It was pouring down rain all weekend down there.


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[Assistant] So do I move it to Monday? Because it's usually Sunday.


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[Assistant] Anyway, there was talk when I was down there this weekend that the Daytona 500 may even be canceled because they had so much rain. Say all that to say.


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[Assistant] Nate stayed an extra day because he has his family down there and they're all going to Disney World, so.


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[Assistant] He's doing some family time and it rained them out, so now they're going today. Alright. So good for him.


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[Assistant] That I was like, dang, I'm just over here struggling and not seeing anything funny at all. You guys were great in that first episode.


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[Assistant] I, not the second part, the first, I did it. I didn't do it right, but I struggled. I have, I have, I mean, I was a mess there at the end.


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[Assistant] I mean, that's how bad I was. I was like, I just got a spit to get this heat out of my mouth.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think you guys were doing too well and then they're like, we gotta do something.


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[Assistant] Well, I was, uh, I was in Palatka, Florida. What is it? Palatka.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And, uh, at church of the heights and it was great. A lot of folks came out. Everyone was super nice. They gave us all, um, custom made Nate land shirts and I left them and my paycheck in the rental car.


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[Assistant] Oh no. Last night I'm like, I can get those shirts to take to the guys and I'm like,


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[Assistant] Where are those shirts at? I started digging through my luggage and all that.


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[Assistant] I retraced my steps, left it in the rental car when I dropped it off.


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[Assistant] Yep, I called, first I called my hotel because I thought I left it there. And then when they didn't have it, I remembered what I did. So then I called the rental car company and filed a claim of lost and found.


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[Assistant] They found it, uh, this morning they emailed said they found it. Okay. And I've already done a thing to have it shipped back to me.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, it'll be here in five to seven days. There you go.


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[Assistant] I'm not even joking. I'll say this on your Rated Red episode. The big thing was you rubbed your eyes by mistake. Right.


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[Assistant] I did not wash my hands after we just got here and I just rubbed my eyes and...


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[Assistant] Now I'm feeling it there too. I'm not just doing it because air did it. I'm like, what is going on?


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[Assistant] I mean, I could have just voided the check, but you know, if they made these shirts for us, they're very kind. I didn't want to say sorry.


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[Assistant] It happens. Wild times. Y'all wanna get in these comments? Let's do it. Let's do it. Who wants to read them?


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[Assistant] It's funny but I don't know. And then I didn't realize there's sound to it. It makes all the difference in the world.


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[Assistant] I thought it was just something that people joke about, like in the, in the, uh, Chris Farley movie where he takes Rob Lowe. Tommy Boy. Tommy Boy. But no one ever, but you never actually see it happen. I've never seen a video of it count being


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[Assistant] I didn't know that, but I knew Stephen King wrote it. No, I mean, whoever the other guy you named. Frank Darabont? Whatever that guy did.


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[Assistant] AMC. Yep. And sometimes if I'm on my computer working or something, I just want some background. Sure. That I don't even have to watch that close and just enjoy it. Sometimes I just miss my friend.


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[Assistant] I mean, I think I've done this before, but I've cast us all as the characters. No, I don't, I don't remember this. I'm Brooks. I think that's kind of obvious.


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[Assistant] I love that. Okay. Yep. You're the hardest one. I kind of said Morgan Freeman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, wise guy, street smart, probably did do the crime.


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[Assistant] Well Nate's, there's two. There's, there's Tommy. He's the warden, I think. And he's the warden. Ah yeaah. Now when the warden's like, you say obtuse, and he's like, what'd you say? Solitary a month. I'm like, that's Nate.


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[Assistant] But then when Tommy's learning English and how to spell, that's also a little bit.


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[Assistant] Uh, I'm all for that. Let's try to think of what a good one was that I, you know, I mentioned a few weeks ago, quiz show that movie came out about the same time as Shawshank.


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[Assistant] I think it's Grey Canary, it's about a guy who invented the intermittent windshield wipers and then the government stole his idea.


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[Assistant] Yeah, tallest, uh, mountain in the United States.


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[Assistant] You're out there on some windy road, dark. A lot of allergies. About to fall off away.


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[Assistant] It's allergy season. That is scary. Unless you take magic spoon.


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[Assistant] I always thought that too, but you pointed out on this podcast, at least on those, uh, some of those polls online, that's to draw you in. They do it purposely, an odd number.


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[Assistant] I know when I was eating hot chicken, I wanted some milk today, so I can see how buttermilk might help your digestive system.


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[Assistant] I think, uh, Guinness beer at pubs, people were like sharing fun facts and that's how Guinness Book of World Records.


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[Assistant] One of these blue zones is in California. You think they're all going to be third world, I don't know why I'd say third world, but places that eat much better than we do.


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[Assistant] I think it was somewhere where they have a heavy presence of seventh day. Is it Adventist?


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[Assistant] One of the, I looked this up, I'm not, I was not familiar with these blue zones. I looked it up. One of them is Okinawa, Japan, but they said in the 21st century.


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[Assistant] That's kind of started, started going away. They're not living any longer than really rest of what changed. I don't know. They learned about GMOs.


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[Assistant] I'd never met my neighbor across the street, but they came to my show a few months ago at Zany's that you guys were both on. And, uh, he and his wife, but I didn't get to talk to them afterwards. So last week they were standing out there and, or the husband was, and I went over there and talked to him for a little while. And, and he said, man, I had a great time at Zany's. And I was like, Oh, thank you so much. He said that dusty sleigh.


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[Assistant] I mean. You know what I love is when you tell me about rocket money. So we can laugh.


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[Assistant] Well, we're talking about the blue zones of people living longer. One thing I wanted to share from my research is what do you guys know about circadian rhythms?


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's tough because by the time you get home from the second show, it's late enough. You could go to bed if you could go to sleep.


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[Assistant] Move to Florida or? Yeaah. Somewhere like that.


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[Assistant] They still do, I think, right?


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[Assistant] Well, this, there's some guy who's a circadian rhythm specialist and he just wrote a new paper saying it can really affect your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Longevity by the light you expose yourself to.


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[Assistant] Uhm, he, there's white light and I think blue light and not literally the lights are blue, but a type of light, which is your phone, your tablet, stuff like that.


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[Assistant] That if you look at late at night, it affects your circadian rhythm.


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[Assistant] The triple tap on the back of the phone?


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[Assistant] Morning sunlight, sunlight in general is essential, but morning sunlight is the most important. Okay.


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[Assistant] Well, I still go to bed late and I sleep pretty late. Like 10, 10, 30. At night.


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[Assistant] I've never been a morning person and my wife is a morning person, so it kind of worked out well when the baby is born, she gets up with the baby and when the baby wasn't sleeping through the night, I would be the one that would stay up.


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[Assistant] And so I would on regularly, not now, but we'd go to bed like on average like 2 a.m.


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[Assistant] Well, it's not like she got up at 2 a.m. It's just that I would kind of be on watch if the baby woke up. And now if the baby woke up at 1 50, I don't in 10 minutes say get in here. I stay up with the baby until she's back asleep.


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[Assistant] I don't know. To me, I got the better end of the deal because I'm more of a night person than a morning person.


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[Assistant] In saying that I still stay up pretty late, but I sleep into the morning, meaning.


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[Assistant] Close to half of my sleep is after the sun come up. So.


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[Assistant] Uh, meaning that according to this and according to Professor Slay, that's not good. Yeah, you're done. You're supposed to be sleepy while it's dark and up when the sun's up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, sunscreen protects you from the dangerous sun rays that causes skin cancer, but it allows you to still be out in the sun to enjoy the benefits of sunlight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] April 8th, go look at it. What's happening on April 8th? I think it's April 8th, that's when the next solar eclipse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mentioned it at like the first episode of the new year that that's happening this year.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it won't be total like it was a few years ago when it came through for us, but it will be if you go just a little bit northwest.


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[Assistant] Like you're in a cave. Yeah. Can't tell. I tell you what, riding the uh, tour bus, which we've all done.


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[Assistant] It can be hard because of all the rocking, but when you pull that curtain, it's pretty blackened out.


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[Assistant] The last time we did, I think it was, I guess Johnson city to Bridgestone arena on Nate's bus. You were in the bunk above me and your, uh, CPAP tube was hanging down a little bit. Talk about that. Oh, sorry.


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[Assistant] But they used to be for athletes that were like passed out of the field, right? Oh, maybe that would wake you up though.


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[Assistant] That's what I envisioned like in the eighties. There's always guys laying out in the field. They didn't know any better. They just put smelly songs like get up and get back in the game.


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[Assistant] So, uh, you're big in the chat, GBT, right? I love it.


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[Assistant] I do, by chance Dusty. Good call. So there's a guy, uhm, he just goes by the name Gage. I guess that's his Instagram name or whatever. I know a guy named Gage.


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[Assistant] Those, are those real people that somehow they've given rights to use their image?


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[Assistant] That's amazing. Now that one, not so much, but those other closeups of those guys, I mean.


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[Assistant] Anyway, there was a guy, uh, this guy Gage, whoever that is, he


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has found a way to use his great knowledge to scam McDonald's at a free mills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically what he does, goes into McDonald's, steals receipts, which most people, they don't keep the receipt, they throw it.


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[Assistant] What's the worst answers possible? And then for the comments, I guess he uses chat GPT to write these terrible reviews of his experience. If it's not good enough, he'll tell chat to me to make it even worse. Then McDonald's quickly.


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[Assistant] Sends him vouchers for free food because of the bad write-up and he says he's gotten hundreds of vouchers for free food.


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[Assistant] He says off the table or off the till. What's, what would that be? The till?


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[Assistant] You know, at the airport, he doesn't say this, but at the airport, I feel like people really just take your seat, just throw it somewhere.


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[Assistant] Here's my travel complaint for the weekend. I think you can help me with this, Aaron. I love it. Because I've heard you, Mitch, I was thinking about you this weekend about renting cars because you have set up now where you don't even have to go to the counter. Is that correct?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get there and I tweeted about this. It's like every car company all lined up. You're like, oh great, man, there's nobody there. Why is everybody in this one line? Because thrifty, dollard, all of them, you got to get in line for budget for that one person.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's not always the person that had nothing to do with it, which is frustrating in itself. But anyway, yeah, the last few times it's been such a long way to the counter. And this weekend I was like, I got to talk to Aaron about this way to bypass this because this is crazy.


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[Assistant] But did you guys know that even if you have a 401k for retirement, you can still have an IRA? Did you guys know that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Robinhood is the only RA that gives you it. That was so good, you didn't know what was going on, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it has the only IRA that gives you a 3% boost on every dollar you contribute when you subscribe to Robinhood Gold. But get this. Now through April 30th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Robinhood is even boosting every single dollar you transfer in from other retirement accounts with a 3% match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. No cap on the 3% match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should have read this ahead of time, sorry. Robinhood Gold gets you the most for your retirement thanks to their IRA with a 3% match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This offer is good through April 30th. There'll be a solar eclipse and this will still be going on. Get started at robinhood.com slash boost. Subscription fees apply and now for some legal info.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Claim as of quarter one, 2024 validated by Radius Global Market Research. Investing involves risk including loss. Limitations apply to IRAs and 401ks.


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[Assistant] 3% match required requires Robinhood gold for one year from the data of first 3% match. I got hot chicken in my eyes, so it's hard for me to read this.


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[Assistant] Must keep Robinhood, it's all blurry. Must keep Robinhood IRA for five years. The 3% matching on transfers is subject to specific terms and conditions. Robinhood IRA available to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like that means Nashville should have gotten an earthquake a few years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's, I mean, they've been warning about that for, you know, a long time. That's how Realfoot Lake was formed. Earthquakes.


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[Assistant] If you're listening, there's a palm tree floating in the air.


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[Assistant] And it must just be the currents that somehow keep it still? The four great winds.


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[Assistant] Well, I hate to even bring up this one then, but uhm. I wanna hear it.


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[Assistant] Whether you believe going to Mars is real, Dusty, this is real as far as them looking for volunteers and...


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[Assistant] Wow. So that sounds great to me. Now our current house that my wife owned when we got married is bigger than that, but 1700 square feet would seem like a mansion to me. I'd sign up just to get some space.


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[Assistant] Maybe that's true. I don't know. It seems like that, if you've got that good education, you're not going to want to be hanging out for a year doing volunteer work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember that. That's interesting. Did you see the base? You fall majorly based with the guy whose regiment was to stand all day.


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[Assistant] Look, this would be torture. This would be torture for me. I have to sit down.


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[Assistant] Then I have to get off. Uhm, that's true. And I could walk, uhm, which I guess you could do that too. If I'm moving, I could stand longer, but just standing in place. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I get, so he would say about one o'clock and I don't know what time he got up, but one o'clock in the afternoon, he was in agony, just standing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no one told him to do this. He did this on his own. The knee's bent for a reason.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna be at the Comedy Catch in Chattanooga. February 29th, leap day. Great green room. Yeaah, yeaah, we keep talking about that. Best green room.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, my green room is pretty much anywhere past three rows in the front cause I got some space there.


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[Assistant] Uh, no, just February 29th, weekday. It's so funny. Wheelchair accessible. Oh, I guess that just means say why are the ticket prices the same, but.


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[Assistant] My joke is they let me come once every four years. Uh, then the next day I'm in Hudsonville, Michigan at Fellowship Church. That's right outside Grand Rapids. And then, uh, following weekend, I'm in another town I can't say, Vincenzo's Indiana, I believe.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and, uh, March 16th, I'm at the, uh, Mule House in Columbia, Tennessee. Nice. Yeah, nice. That's just south of Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I think we're supposed to, Nate's supposed to be saying this every time, but he never has. Thank you to our sponsors, Magic Spoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they love you. I like you. I think we're all here next week, right? Yes.


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[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nate Land podcast is brought to you by Viori, Rocket Money, Delete Me, and Helix Sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. I'm Nate Bargetzi, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slick. Alright, welcome. Everybody's here. We thought we, we thought you would be late, but you made it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And it just knows this guy, this guy doesn't want to be on the main stuff.


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[Assistant] Yeah, this is great. My voice, I think my voice is getting beat up. Uh, oh yeah. Or just mind, I think to cough away from the mic.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I'm an uh, I'm my own functioning man, sometimes.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, yeah, my voice just got bad. It's, it's, uh, it's not bad. It's just, you know, we've done a lot of shows, a lot of shows, a lot of crazy. I got my, uh, Georgia Tech Go Jackets. All right. I'm happy to find out that's what that means. Yeah. Cause you were getting Go Jackets yelled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we got a, uh, uh, we got a picture of, uh, signed, uh, next to Go Jackets. I think I have all this. I was like, oh, we'll show this. And then I didn't do anything with it. Uh, but.


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[Assistant] We went to, we got to go tour the, uh, uh, golf facility, met the golf team. They have like, their golf thing right in the middle, it's like really in the middle of downtown Atlanta. They have like 14 acres and it's just, there's a little par three and it's their own practice facility and stuff.


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[Assistant] Some simulators, yeaah, they can't drive her and it goes, it's like 360, they said. Wow. Which is, I mean, these guys can hit it, you know, far.


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[Assistant] But the whole thing was, uh, they, they were very, very cool. Uh, we saw the football stadium, saw the locker rooms, and they did, they were really nice. And like, she gave us a big tour. Was, was hopefully meeting Chris Winkie.


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[Assistant] He was 29 or something. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Uh, yeah, I don't feel as good like that.


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[Assistant] Uh, but it's, yeaah, so, but they were having like recruiting or something, like, it was like recruiting me so that he and I would get it out to meet in time. Uh, it would have been fun, but.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it would be like, you think about it, Vanity and Georgia Tech and Northwestern, like we had our own little conference going.


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[Assistant] You know, for what, like a trivia competition or sports like a Southern


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[Assistant] And they ran, their big thing was the option. And he was like, they ran that. I mean, do they have Calvin Johnson?


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[Assistant] Uh, obviously a lot of Demetria Johnson, right? I think he passed away, he's from the Broncos. The guy that died. Demerius. Demerius. Thomas. Yea, Demerius Thomas. Right.


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[Assistant] Well, he was, they said he was like a four star recruit out of, uh, high school. And you know, I don't know, Georgia Tech might've been good then. The Georgia Techs, I mean, they won a championship in 1990.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. But I mean, that's not that long ago.


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[Assistant] That's, you know. Oh no, I guess he got an offer from all of them.


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[Assistant] Uh, but yeah, we were in, so we did shows, Evans, Georgia, uh, two shows, State Farm Arena, the Hawks play. Crazy. How many shows were there?


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[Assistant] All in all, this weekend was about 50,000 tickets.


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[Assistant] It was, uh, yeah, it's crazy. It's, uh, Evans and Evans, you know, Evans I've been 2,500, 330,000 or something. And then it was a beautiful theater. It's brand new. That's Augusta.


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[Assistant] It's like, I mean, they don't want, it's a tad, it's not Augusta, but it's essentially, it's a part of Augusta, like, uh, but, uh, great place. The crowds are so good. And then.


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[Assistant] Especially these big arenas. I mean, in Atlanta, we did a thing that I haven't seen, uh, for, from January on, I'll be in the round.


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[Assistant] In the middle, like you've seen the Bridgestone arena pictures, I'll be in the middle. Uh, this one, I had people behind me.


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[Assistant] So they sold, uh, but this wasn't an in the round show.


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[Assistant] So, but they sold tickets. I didn't realize they did this and I got there and they were like, well, there's people behind you. And I'm like, what? And then there's tickets and they're sitting right behind me. They're like, they're, it's a, it's a rear view seat.


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[Assistant] Well, yeah, there's a big screen in front of them. I almost think they weren't bad. Like if you think of seats.


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[Assistant] You're like, I mean you're pretty close, I mean I'm never looking at you, but you're looking at the screen.


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[Assistant] And you've been, but they're right there. Like it was, uh, and I've never done that.


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[Assistant] I'll tell you a couple other things I read about your show.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, that happened. That was cause they mute. So they, when my dad takes, cause my dad has to walk on with the mic, uh, like on his ear and.


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[Assistant] Yeah, a hand free mic. And, uh, so they, but they usually, they just got to mute it. So when he takes the stuff out, like when he turns it off and all, he wouldn't pick it up. And it just was a mess and they did. So Nick was up there and it was coming through the monitors and then Nick just kind of, Nick Thune just played with it.


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[Assistant] And he did great. Yeah. I feel bad for those people. Yeah. I didn't know that. I don't know. Like some of that, I don't know what's going on. Sometimes if you buy tickets to, I'm not saying these people did this. I have no idea, but you know, be aware of like, uh, when you buy tickets on that second market or whatever you're doing.


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, that's, you get out of control of.


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[Assistant] Really anything. You don't know what's going to happen. Uh, I think I've had, I've had it happen where I bought tickets and you get there and I've had double two tickets sold.


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[Assistant] Where you just sit there, like at a, uh, it was a long time ago, dude, uh, Florida, Tennessee football game in Gainesville. I went with all my buddies and then we bought tickets and it was like, these people had these tickets and the other people had their tickets and everybody just had, and then everybody just squeezed in, you know.


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[Assistant] Uh, but yeah, it was, uh, it was, uh, it's wild, man. These arenas are wild. And, uh, super, super fun. Everybody's so nice. It's great. It's great. Yeah.


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[Assistant] You know that my cat will bring you. Yeah, that's like a little sacrificial.


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[Assistant] He almost think, uh, just buy the tickets and don't go.


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[Assistant] That was just super fun. I mean that corporate gig and that stuff, that warms my heart. Uh, I like seeing it. I like it. I like it a lot. It's just so.


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[Assistant] Nobody agreed. Yeah, that's good when you, yeah, when you know, you go, guys, it is, my career is going good. Yeah. Like don't. There's no evidence.


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[Assistant] You know, and it's crazy cause you like, you think you're going, it's going to happen once. You're like, nah, it happens a lot.


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[Assistant] You're having so much that you get not bad at it.


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[Assistant] I would do, I remember doing the, I don't know if I said the community, uh, community college, you do nooners.


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[Assistant] Is what we'd call him. And a guy, I was late, 1202, I showed up and he goes, you're late. I got him. I was like, I'm sorry. And then, uh, he had a box with a microphone. He took it out, handed it to me. He goes, I'll be back in an hour.


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[Assistant] And then that was it. And there was no, hey there's a comedy show, like you don't see any posters.


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[Assistant] Uh, I brought, uh, Ben, uh, uh, what's his name that wrote his? Ben Bergman. Big Bergman. Yeah. Ben Bergman came and he had him open. I remember that. Thankfully. And so, I mean, he goes, I mean, so I mean, I can't go, I mean, there's no, we're in a stage in the corner. We're just in the cafeteria. He said, where were you?


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[Assistant] That's, you know, that's the special part. I mean, I really do, even though I'm sorry it was not fun. I love it. I love hearing it. But just because I know it's, you're on, that's the right path to be on. Cause you either that path, you have to be just down this path of just, you gotta get where when you're up there, it's really insane. Well, cause when someone thinks they want to start comedy.


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[Assistant] And they're like, I'm going to go do comedy and they go to open mic, right? And say they stay in open mics and whatever. They can be.


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[Assistant] Bad. They're not as bad as when you go alone. You drive, there's no one to talk to. You don't have anybody. You drive by yourself. And then you're on stage. And people don't even know you're on stage.


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[Assistant] Anyway, yeah, to get done, to already be done for the day, to already do a status.


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[Assistant] Man, that's nice though. I always liked that. I always felt even, I mean, I mean, that one got bad, but even if it's bad, you just feel it's like you worked out.


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[Assistant] I didn't get nominated for next year. I also found out today I did not get nominated for Golden Globe Globe, so.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Uh, so I'm ready. Yeah. People are, I mean, I think we've got a lot of offers and people, we could do it at a lot of places. Uh, people are into it.


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[Assistant] Just show drive of someone. It's a short drive.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I think I would enjoy that. I'd like to try it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like it's fun to go, like if you get to do some of this stuff. Yeah, I don't, I mean, I don't know. You know, we've got a lot of stuff that we're working on. A lot of stuff comes and goes.


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[Assistant] It's, uh, yeah, it's all going, yeah, it's all going great. It's all, it is, it's for like, they was the Grammy thing, the Golden, like the Golden Globes came out. It was announced today and we, I was like, you felt good and I just didn't get nominated for anything. And that stuff's hard.


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[Assistant] It's not hard. Like you really, you can feel yourself. You don't really care that, you know, you're like, this, this isn't what you're doing it for, but then it's also like.


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[Assistant] No, yeaah, it doesn't, uh, yeaah, it doesn't, you know. I just wanna, yeaah, I, dude, I love stand-up. I love, you know, this weekend, I was like, I just love it so much. I love hearing people laugh. I love trying to write.


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[Assistant] You know, like doing this hour and just like, I mean, it's so fun. It's so, I get pure joy when I'm up there. It's, you know, to hear the laughing is there's nothing more rewarding than that.


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[Assistant] Whatever I would maybe want to win or something is, is I understand there's no depth with that and I have the depth that I want.


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[Assistant] It's, you know, you just competitively, you can send them blood. I have, I have everything. You've already found meaning. I've already, yes. And so now I just want to continue to make.


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[Assistant] That kind of stuff and then hopefully do stuff like that where you can do a movie or TV show or whatever it is to continue to, uh,


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[Assistant] You know, make stuff for all these people that want to come because a lot of people want to laugh and have a good time.


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[Assistant] No. And that's why I was the Tennessee kid. No one knew my name. No one.


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[Assistant] I like it. I think I, I, I actually agree. That was a Netflix thing when they said that, or they, or my manager might have come, but then they came up with Tennessee kid, but it's, it's what could, what's the title that you go? Like I basically know what I'm getting into.


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[Assistant] And then they, and then, and then it's just, you know, then they watch it and they love it. And working man is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I liked it. Chrissy Watson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I laughed so hard when the most heated political debate this podcast has ever had.


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[Assistant] Was heard on the mythical creatures episode. I watched a presidential debate where the main question was, how would you fund the hunt for Nessie? Y'all are the best.


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[Assistant] Alright, we're going to figure this nasty stuff out.


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[Assistant] I would say Nessie, I understand not doing it now. That's just for the town. It's the lure of the town.


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[Assistant] Well then tourism would be, it would be insane. Yes. It would be the craziest year, but that risk reward is probably too much to be like.


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[Assistant] They still haven't, I mean, I'm saying the second you pull a body of something out, if they pull a big foot body or if they do it, everything's different.


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[Assistant] What does this even mean? Like I don't even know, you know, even though it's like fun and they're telling you still, there's no.


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[Assistant] I just, I mean, you know what's crazy? Two days after we...


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[Assistant] Recorded this podcast or the day after I talked to, uh, one of my business managers who was there that she was there the day we talked about this. Really? Yeah.


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[Assistant] That is a lot. Joanna Marie Zimmerman.


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[Assistant] Uh, Brian's got to start speaking up during these reality based conversations. Watching Aaron go head to head with Nate and Dusty when discussing anything of substance is brutal. Just as for Aaron, he needs backup. He should have to phone a friend during these debates.


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[Assistant] You think we can just see farther then? Like we get to Mars.


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[Assistant] Do we bring everybody to the end of the driveway?


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[Assistant] This is going to be like when they, they would show this video in four billion years and hearing us talk, and it's going to sound like.


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[Assistant] I feel like his family just gave him Doug just to give him a break, you know, like, yeah, like, you know, I'm sure it's Douglas and they're like, but just go by Doug just so we know, we know what's happened.


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[Assistant] That's a name I don't think anybody wants to spell because Brule, if you're a boss of him, you go, I'm already Doug B on all your checks. And he goes, yeah, that's, that's understandable.


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[Assistant] Two L's and two T's. We were Mr., my dad was Mr. B as a teacher. Smart.


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[Assistant] Love no so to no end. All right, Doug's coming around on me. He might have to name the ship after his family's name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The USA does have N O A A national oceanic, oceanic, oceanic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oceanic and atmospheric administrations, but they are pitiful and stuff like the Loch Ness Monster and octopus cities. Great episode. That's true.


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[Assistant] But I don't like that they're even throwing in ocean and atmospheric. Is atmospheric space? Yeah. I don't need you to do both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that's why we're not getting anything done. Cause you're like, well, we do both. We do the ocean and the air and you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, why don't we just focus on one, and then we start a new one. Again, I mean, the whole argument is- What's the point of-


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[Assistant] Yeah. 200. I don't, there's no way they walked in and go, I'm a 200 year, you get out. 1823. They're like, ah, the waves are bad out there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're in. Yep. Uh, yeah. Two hundred years, huh? Reed Jones. Uh, what do they get off? What are you? I don't understand what you're. And what was the constitution? 1776, right? Yeah. So they're like, better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody goes, meets people and goes, I'm Sam and they go, what's your last name? He goes, just, just call me Sam.


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[Assistant] Listening to Nate make a passionate case for how to solve the world's largest problems while wearing a ketchup hat is peak Nate land and I am here for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. This is what ketchup, ketchup gets the pizza started.


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[Assistant] Do you wear a lot of hats to other, when you go to a new state?


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's the whole point. Uh, Katie Shea.


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[Assistant] This has been the funniest dusty episode ever. I'm dying. Zucchini peenie is killing.


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[Assistant] Uh, Kristen Flavel. Flavel. We're getting some people today, boy.


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[Assistant] There's an episode of drain the oceans where they actually did scan the lake that the Loch Ness monsters supposedly lives in and they did not find any large creature. I think it's more fun to leave it alone and let people believe in the myth. I agree with that.


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[Assistant] Bigfoot is, there's like, there's just such a defiance with the.


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[Assistant] Lake, it's a lake, right? So I don't even know why it's on Discover the Oceans or Drain the Oceans.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would think, you know, a Bigfoot, like you're like, all right, well, they're not in that where you're looking, but it's like, it could be anywhere. And this is like pretty, like it's either there. It's pretty contained.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And so they're just saying, it's, that sounds like a good episode. We're going to get to the bottom of luck in this month. I'll watch that.


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[Assistant] Can you imagine, that's why you watch it, can you imagine if they find the


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[Assistant] Which we would have already been to a hundred years of the D whatever that was. Yeah. Noah. Noah. Noah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, Charles Soden.


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[Assistant] The problem with Nate's rant is that many of our current day inventions came from thinking about the future.


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[Assistant] I'm sure people thought NASA was wasting their time creating things like the laptop, computer.


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[Assistant] Camera phone, wireless headphones or insulation. They were invented for space, but became widely useful everyday items. Velcro. It's another big one. Came from NASA. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] If you're making this stuff though, what, I mean, so what are they doing? They're making all this stuff for space and they're like, you know what? This would go great in Target as well.


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[Assistant] It has unlimited of our money. Right. And then they go, Oh, and then on top of it, we're the ones that were the only ones that get an invent this stuff. Cause you can't even have tried to invent it and then they resell it to us.


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[Assistant] And we pay taxes on the resale. And so, that's the system.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. It may help make everyone's seats more comfortable.


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[Assistant] Aaron talks a big game with a lot of things, but Brian is closer to David Beckham than Dusty is to Michael Phelps.


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[Assistant] Uh, Dusty, I'm with you on this. I'm baffled that everyone thinks breakfast could blend in on a soccer field better than you in a swimming pool. Having played soccer my whole life.


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[Assistant] Well, he's just trying not to ever spring into action. But I mean, the thing is, is.


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[Assistant] Play the competition. If you're trying to blend in, you kind of need to be in the thick of it so people don't notice you. So I mean, if you get tired, I mean, you can't even be walking that far back.


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[Assistant] And they played for 45 straight minutes and then you're going to complain about, but the clock stopped. Why is it still going?


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[Assistant] We can find that. Yeaah. And we, we, we can find that. Where you could just go. But you gotta stand there with speedos and no shirt on.


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[Assistant] We want to see like the local swim.


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[Assistant] I mean, you know, I think you get a couple of days notice training. If it's a real mission, I don't think they're like, hey, in six years. You don't jump off a board, do you? You jump off something.


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[Assistant] I mean, I would want to just see you in these, you know.


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[Assistant] Do you think an offensive line could hold a defensive line long enough for you to get to 30 yards? How many yards? How many, like, how many yards, uh,


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[Assistant] Do you think, you know, this might be a fun question, like, uh, I'm doing manning cast to, if, if you. Oh, that's on there. But it's like, it was maybe a funny question to bring up. How good of an offensive line.


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[Assistant] Could some, like, if it would be like to get me to get to, or to get you to 30 yards away.


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[Assistant] The quarterback's gotta be, it's gonna be like, you're gonna make it, you're running a 30 yard out. So that means you run 30 yards and then cut out.


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[Assistant] So right when you turn, I was saying, could you like the, could the old line be like.


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[Assistant] Cause he, he's going to get caught up at the line. The D back is going to, he, I don't know if you even get past, but even if it was no one guarding you, just.


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[Assistant] Just as straight. No one covered me. No one covering you straight 30 yard out. And then he goes, huh? Could any offensive line hold?


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[Assistant] Long enough. For the quarterback not to get crunched. Yeah. For him to be like, I can't, you gotta get there sooner.


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[Assistant] And then you, and you can see like what would be the out.


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[Assistant] The average time, because it's like they get like three or four seconds. I think you could do it. How far do you think you can get 30 yards?


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[Assistant] I know I couldn't. I think you would go, your best guess is to go. Go underneath their legs. You butt fumble it dude.


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[Assistant] Oh, Brian is severely underestimating how much soccer players have to run even when they're not near the ball. Okay. Uh, Kelly Manning.


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[Assistant] I've listened to all 176 episodes, some multiple times. Nate telling Aaron he could do a cannonball to start us off. Might be the line.


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[Assistant] That's made me laugh the hardest. The visual of Dusty and Nate on a starter block and Bates holding his stopwatch on side of pool with Aaron doing a cannonball is absolutely gold. Episode was hot. I agree.


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[Assistant] We'll do a little bit more with this episode. Uh, what is, uh, what is this? Mythical creatures part two. Oh.


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[Assistant] Guitar lessons? Uh huh. When you, honestly, when you pick classes, you have to go, hey, what does this mean? And they're like, oh, we'll go talk about like bugs and stuff. And you're like, all right, I'll do that.


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[Assistant] I like how they're already being critical of, you know, you're seeing possibly alien type things.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would, I would not believe in it. I mean, I would imagine, how do you...


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[Assistant] Act like you're, you look like you're on a, uh.


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[Assistant] Uh, like Prince Harry. Yeah, yeah. It looks like you're on a, something like a, that they go to all the time. Right.


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[Assistant] Well, I agree. And if they found, like, it, and too, like, what if, if you saw something like this, how would the government not, like, fly in and be like, alright, we're going down to find it out?


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[Assistant] You know my thing about the, didn't we talk about the basketball players being like in 50 years they're all 7 feet? I mean I'm seeing videos all the time now, uh,


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[Assistant] And maybe cause I, look, it's like a 12 year old that's 6'10", this, you know.


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[Assistant] Eventually, 50 years, like that, I mean, there might be.


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[Assistant] 1911, no way. You cannot get past that. They've already been, they're 90 years in.


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[Assistant] Before the light bulb wasn't, yeah, they've been just going around. Yeah. We've been doing 200 years.


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[Assistant] Yeah. But I mean, I think that's supposed to not, that's not supposed to be here. And that's the, that's the problem.


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[Assistant] I don't know how that doesn't, I don't know how in a war two countries can't come together and go.


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[Assistant] Maybe we had to be that big. But we don't, you know, just a pet zone. Uh, Trenasaurus rex were, you know, they're big. So they needed to be the size of like a, think of a little turtle now. We're not scared of a turtle. So for us not to be scared of Trenasaurus rex, we need to be as big as that.


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[Assistant] Like the idea, I don't know, you know, when they, it's like you, you're evolved over time to get used to something. And I always like, you think, you're like, well, I can't do that. And you think, uh, I won't worry about it because in a million years we'll be able to do it.


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[Assistant] But isn't it like, what's like an animal has to evolve to...


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[Assistant] Uh, eventually, like, it's like, I don't know, like, say we're all underwater, and then some gotta go out of water. Yeah.


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[Assistant] So, and that's what I'm saying. And I'm not trying to say anything. I just think it's, it's just funny to me to be like, the first one came out and died immediately and they're like, this is not good. And then they kept coming and then I guess they make it a little bit farther. Yeah. And then the females.