[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a couple of things. First of all, we shouldn't probably, we shouldn't probably dwell for too long on the thing we talked about last week too much, cause you know, we want to make a new podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the thing is, like, I think about that, is that, you know, if you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So back in the day, right, in the 80s, if you wanted to fuck a pavement, right, or a building, or the Eiffel Tower, whatever, you wanted to stick a fucking hot dog up your ass, you, you, you could go ahead and do it, fine, sure, but there wasn't really this echo chamber available for you, right, if you, if you, you were like, okay, maybe


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'm the only person I know who wants to fuck the Eiffel Tower, maybe there's something wrong with me, okay? But now- I am alone. You can go on the internet and there'll be like a whole fucking forum full of people, like, circle jerking, literally, probably,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over the Eiffel Tower and how it's such a cool phallic object and how I wanna feel it inside me or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quick! So, you know, but that's one of the things that I think the internet has allowed. In some ways that's good, right? It means you can find a small community of people who love playing, I dunno, fucking open transport tycoon or whatever, but at the same time, you know, you can find like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of it though is very positive. You know, I think with, um, I think in many ways it was difficult to go down to the pub and say, Hey guys, uh, is any of you interested in, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just really weird. I don't know whether that's the job that's ground them down into that or whether they started like that though, because I always thought, I've got a few friends who are teachers, quite a few friends who I went to school with who are teachers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really, the people who do it are always very happy people because they're interacting with so many people. They're learning new stuff every day. Every day is different. They interact with lots of people. It's a very kind of social.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And fun environment to be in every day. And so you'd wonder why they're so dour and miserable, but I had the same problem. I think that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going back to school, like thinking about it, you know, I don't think I could tell you any of the teachers were gay. Maybe I wasn't in the groups of people who talked about this kind of stuff, but I don't think even in sixth form, I knew a single person in the year who was gay. Um, it was a thing, at least when I was at school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I left school in 2002, went to university and, you know, I went to school, sorry, I went to university, the first year of university I was in residential halls and the guy in the room next to me was the most


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flamboyantly gay guy I'd ever met, okay? Right. And he was unbelievably ridiculously gay. And you know, we talked, we talked, uh, a lot. That's how I feel about you. We were like next to each other and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, you know, I was head boy at my school, but nobody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just flamboyantly gay guy voice and was like, you know, I, I just was, you know, I was just uncomfortable being that at my school. It wasn't accepted. You know, I don't know how much that's changed. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure the guys, I'm sure there were a lot of guys that I, cause I went to a little boy school as well, you know, we had 150 guys, I knew a lot of them like, really well actually, no. But I'm sure they knew that they were gay by the time they left sixth form. But none of them were open about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me and my brother used to like fight when we were kids, right? And everyone fights with their brother and stuff when they're kids. But my brother was obviously two years younger than me, but he got all of the muscle and size and nourishment that I lacked as a sickly kid, right? So he was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From about the age of sort of, when I was like, I dunno, seven or eight and he was like, you know, six or seven, he was, he was bigger than me. Okay, like way bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you know, when you're kids, like, and you're just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life is often very, very, well for me it was very, very boring, okay. You know, there's like these long summers where you're not at school or anything and you're just, all you're doing is staying at home hanging out with your brother, but we weren't really allowed to watch too much TV or play too many video games because it makes your eyes square and all this, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'd end up having to like, you know, just figure out what to do and, you know, play, I don't know, board games and puzzles and all the, all the shit we did as kids, it was fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were these few times where me and him, you know, got into fights over something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And occasionally go berserk. Okay. And so there was like only two occasions that it happened, but it was like, you know, when, you know, when you're, you just blow it, you blow your emotions and you just lose control. There are a couple of times that happened and he, he just hulked out. So one time was when I.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I let him back in, but he was still in full red face, super angry hulk mode. And he just like chased me down. Okay. And I was so scared. Um, but he's such a gentle guy. He was so, I'm so scared. I like ran away and tried to run up the stairs, but I like slipped on the stairs, twisted my ankle and then like, um, I actually broke one of my toes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just like, I dunno, it was one of those things where I hurt myself running away from him. He never actually ever hurt me at all, but I was just so terrified of him like, I mean, I've, I've, I've experienced these, you experience these, these moments in your life sometimes where you just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your brain, you switch to some sort of animal mode, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like there are times when it happens and it's like, I mean, I've never, I've like gone berserk a couple of times with people and it's just, I feel really kind of like, whoa, like it was almost like an out of body experience. Like what kind of things did you do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every single detail. It's really weird. You know, you remember it for the rest of your life as well. There's a couple of moments where, you know, I just lost it and I, you know, it's like, wow, I can't believe, you know, I sort of, yeah, I don't feel like I'm glad in a way that I wasn't like physically violent or anything like that. Just kind of ranting like some sort of madness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's all about, everything's about practice and just doing it for 10,000 hours so you're good at it, right? So it's the same thing with, I think with anything, like with chatting up women or with being like a socially interesting,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guy, it's just, it's just, you have to kind of put effort and do it. It's like, I watched this Louis CK thing of him doing a routine. And the great thing about Louis CK is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How natural, right? And almost improv-y he feels when he does these bits, right? And actually every single word, every single sort of tone, every single motion is extremely


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just, some of them are obviously extremely, and they are naturally very, very witty and funny guys anyway, but, but like, I think that you can, if you put enough time into something, you can make it feel like anything. Feel very natural. So if someone wants to fight you, they'll know how to press your buttons because they've, they've pressed the buttons of 10,000 people before you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pick what you get good at sometimes. I think that it just happens sometimes. I think that if you enjoy something and you put the end up, you don't realise you've put 10,000 hours into it. You don't ever sit down and think, hey, I'm going to spend 10,000 hours playing Overwatch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then again, I think that because Sips is a vegetarian...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's always funny going to like these places with sips in Vegas. We went to this sushi place and, um, you know, we order the omakase, which is, you know, bring, bring us whatever, you know, chef's choice kind of thing. Bring, bring whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way I would imagine it is imagine, like back in Henry VIII days, right, they would bring out like this roast boar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, with like a fucking apple in its mouth, it would be glistening and it would be surrounded by like bananas and apples and like fucking all colourful, like super, almost like some sort of plastic thing you'd see in Hollywood movies, right, just ludicrously overly colourful. Imagine that but sushi. It was like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a whole fucking fish formed out of like slices of tuna and salmon and it had like a bit of raw lobster and like a crab with like fucking, it was crazy. It was nuts. It was fucking amazing. Vegas, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go to the next one in this Blizzcon when we go. Probably go again, won't we Sims?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We then get salty when we can't play them all day, every day. It's like, okay. But yeah, it's, it's a funny old thing. I was just, uh, I just remembered there's that classic Japanese word, right? For the period of like sageness. I think it's called kenta kenja taimu or something like that. Sage time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, which is like that moment after a post orgasmic period when a man's thoughts are no longer impaired by his sexual drive and he can think clearly like a sage of clear mind. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reddit threads about, uh, stuff that you know about. Basically, I read all these ask reddit threads and I can't help-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you, what do you know about somebody else that they don't, they don't realise you know? Okay. And it was like, oh, I found out that this guy was gay or that, yeah, I found out that he was adopted or whatever. Um, one of them was my sort of sweet little mother, Asian mother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have bought a neck massager, okay, which is obviously like just a big old Hitachi magic wand kind of thing. Yeah. And uh, keeps it on the bedside table as if it is a real neck massager, like in full view of like the whole room, just this big, a big old, big old dild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, just lying there and she just uses it as a deck massage and has no idea. It's, it's, people are like giggling about it. I like that, right? I like that innocence. That's how I want to see women. That's coming around to the start of the podcast again, you know, last week, like, you know, that's how I, come on. That's nice, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that music by the way. Do you know what though, I think there is a problem with like people that you are actually friends with and watching their stuff. You know, I find it, I dunno, do not feel it's like a little bit like creeping on someone when you're watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's weird though, every time we go out, whenever I'm in Jersey and we walk around, we bump into people you know though, right? Every single time. Well, it's a small place, so you do


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I guess what I'm saying is like, you know, imagine those guys, you're creeping on them, but they're creeping on you too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone does, yeaah, a lot of people do. Really? Yeaah. I mean, it was a thing though, obviously, I remember like I signed up to it obviously when it was fairly, fairly, when everyone was, when it was this huge new thing in, I dunno, 2005 or 6, so whenever it came out, right? And that was obviously when I was coming to the end of, uhm, my university.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went on Facebook the other day, right, for like the first time in years and years, and uhm, because I originally, like my Facebook kind of got abandoned because when I was, when I started off doing YouTube, I thought, you know, I'm just going to accept, I started getting like inundated with friend requests from people on YouTube. So I ended up just accepting them all and I went up to like 5,000 friends or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is like, was the cap or back then. And that was like, it was like almost a way to like promote and try and get some traction on YouTube to get started. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I went on there recently and uhm, looking back at actual people that I knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was, was tricky because there were so many random people they added who had changed a lot in the five years since I added them. So all the fans who added me back in the day, I slowly either removed them as friends or it was kind of like, I don't know, a little bit heartbreaking, right? To look at all these people who I was at school with and how they've


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, a little bit, sort of bittersweet almost, like, I obviously, this thing, I, I never went anywhere with this girl or whatever. Or, you know, we, we were like, I don't know, we went to a dance together or we went out one time or whatever and it never really went anywhere and it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of, I don't know, like it's weird because it's almost like suddenly they've got five year old kids to me and it's like, they've suddenly changed their mind because they were always frozen in my mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think in a way, yeaah, there was just one, one girl particularly, I think, and it was, it was a bit strange cause I, I just thought, I, I recognised her and I was like, oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it sounds less childish than it's so-and-so's fault. Like if you say it's his fault, it sounds like something my flight attendant would say. It does. It's like, he, he did it. Wasn't me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No more. No more do you think you're premium, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, it can man- I mean, if I was gonna get killed, I'd want it to be from a mile away. I don't even see it coming. Just, my head just snaps and it's all over. Rather than someone up close can smell their breath as they're hunched over me, strangling the life out of me. Fucking suck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not a, not a glass jar. They couldn't get a jar. They're like, there's too much of you left to fit in all the jars we've got. So we had to go with a wooden barrel with no windows. You just live in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was reading about this girl that fell two kilometers. Her plane broke up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In mid-air, they were flying over the Amazon jungle. This is a true story, you can look this up. And it was made into a shitty movie, I believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The plane breaks up and crashes, there's like 87 people on board, 86 of them die. Her, she's in her seat, plummeting towards the jungle canopy in her seat, obviously thinking, well, this is, this is it, I mean, this sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When she left the plane, I'm sure the Fast New Seatbelts light was on. Right? Until she sees that light come off, that seatbelt stays on. Or until she lands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? I was, I was thinking the other day, this is when I saw a tweet that Sips has made. This is a complete change of subject. But it really made me laugh, because we do this quite often on the podcast I've noticed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the one that plays Bunky Brewster. Like if you look at a picture of her now, she's 40, she's like, she's born, she's slightly older than me. She is, she is gorgeous. She's absolutely gorgeous. Me, I'm like not so much. But she's, she's nice. But she's not like a looker, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, I mean I know my kids won't get them, but I think most people who aren't in their late thirties or forties would even get. Like I remember watching them at the time and being confused, like references to Steve Allen. Like Steve Allen was, was, you know, funny, like he was a comedian in the seventies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know my kids would watch it now. I guarantee you they would watch Alf now, even though it's fucking awful, but I know they'd watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People didn't like it. It was too, too American. Honestly, too American, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know what, a lot of people liked Friends that you wouldn't have thought would like it. Cause to me, and this is gonna sound sexist, it always seemed like more of a sort of, a show that girls would be super super into. And, you know, I mean, I thought that, maybe you'd think that was unfair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it's towards dinnertime or around just post dinnertime. It's for old people basically. I think it was on BBC2. And basically there's this, it's a big setup, it's like all these shows. They have this house, it's got the repair shop on the outside, it's in a beautiful scenic area, it's like BBC stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what happens is they've got like a guy who specializes in repairing clocks, and a woman who specializes in restoring things to make- but still making them look old. There's a guy who's like a seamstress and a guy who's a carpenter, and they're like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, they're like this vaguely, very gently wacky band, like one of them wears a funny hat, uuuh. And people come in and they're like, I've got this old clock that my grandfather left me, stop working. Like, oh, we'll have a look at it. And someone came in and said, oh, this was a piano stool that I used to sit on with my grandmother, could you restore it? Like, yeah, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They watched the whole thing, like, wrapped attention. This guy has this old clock. You can see him undoing it with a tiny screwdriver. Now, well, here are the gears and the cogs. These will be tricky, but I'll do it. And then they cut away to someone cutting up some fabric and they were just in seventh heaven. They fucking loved it. I was really surprised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The gist is, it's like, what was that, uh, Chuck E. Cheese, right? It was the restaurant in the States, I think. And you'd go there for pizza and they had these animatronics and stuff. So the gist is you're there to mind them over the weekend or whatever. But a lot of other people have tried and obviously they've failed. So you have to try and survive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like those toy unboxing channels where all they do is buy a toy and just open the box and they get like 5 million views.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're listening to music, we're talking, and you know, we're trying to have a conversation. We didn't just give them a fucking iPad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the thing is, they can go, like, my kids will go two, three hours in a car, no problem. Because they've never had to be, like, we've never gone for this whole, we better entertain them, if they act up, just tell them to shut up and sit still. Like, I always say, I will stop this car and leave you on the side of the road. And they believe me. And I would do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's the other thing my kids like watching, talking about behavior and stuff. You know Super Nanny? Do you remember that show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They love it. Because my, my kids are both like, genuinely this isn't, I'm not bragging, I'm just being honest. They are so fucking well behaved it's ridiculous. My kids are incredibly well behaved. Mainly because I'm a, I'm a strict dad, right? And I watched Supernanny before I had kids and I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it was so wonderful for her having those kids. She loved it so much, she couldn't let go. And Supernanny comes in, she's like, stop all this bullshit. Your kids are getting older, you've got to start treating them like that. And she was really crushed. But, so my kids watch this, they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just, it was something else. But she was like, don't raise your voice. I was like, geez, I've been doing it wrong all this time. Cause I'll shout at my kids if they fuck up. I'll be like, what are you doing? You know, like my dad the other day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that the similar, the same shit will almost always work with different kids. Like they're all so uniform out of the box. They're just like this cut and paste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blup, here's a person. They're doing this. Oh, try this. Oh, that fucking worked. Who knew? It's like, it's like, everybody has a very similar model car. There may be some differences, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the mechanic can just be like, yeah, just tweak the carburetor. Yeah, that actually did work. Like kids are pretty straightforward. You just need to learn those techniques. It's kind of funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they're not, not too much, barely at all. I mean, but if it happens, it's rare. They're not, I mean, they do get sniffles and things. And the thing is when my kids are sick, they go into this sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That happens at my daughter's school, cause she's the younger one, um, she, uh, she'll come home and she'll say, Joseph was sick today. I was like, really? She was like, I was like, what do you mean he wasn't in school? No, he was sick in the classroom. I was like, wow, okay. And she said, yeah, and he was sick with another boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so bad. They can't get rid of that smell. They remove the carpet tiles that the kids have been sick on and they just bend them. They're just gone. Like they have a store room full of carpet tiles. When the kids are sick, they just like cut the carpet tiles out. They're gone. Put a new one down. That's it. Cause otherwise the stink never leaves. And kids are sick all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yes, when I started primary school, uhm, that was, uh, they were phasing out the cane around then, so this was like 85, they were. And the headmaster, Mr. Ledge,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he had this cane there, he said, boys, I have not had to use that cane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For five years, do not make me use it now. We were like, oh my god, he's gonna fucking beat us to death with the cane. So we were all like, yes sir, we won't do it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but by the time I got to secondary school, the cane was gone, and the teachers were obviously pretty salty about this, because it was a boys' school, and they thought whippiness was about the only thing that really stopped boys just doing whatever they wanted. Uh, so they just took to throwing things at us instead, like they'd throw...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chalk, board rubbers, stuff like that. Now, interestingly enough, I was talking about when I went to Bournemouth School, which was, which was the name for the school, Bournemouth School. It's like the least...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thought has gone into that name for a school. It is literally called Bournemouth School. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a kid who, I say kid, he's not that young, emailed me about a month ago saying I went to the same school as you. He was a lot younger than me. He was there in the 2000s. And he was saying to me, like, there were teachers that taught me that was still at that school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a guy there, Mr. Hawkins, who not only taught me and this kid recently, he taught my dad and my uncle when they were at that school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he'd been there for fucking 50 years or something stupid like that teaching at that one school, which was kind of insane. But they still threw chalk and board rubbers at people. And there were teachers that were still teaching there that taught when I was there, when I was 11, back in the 80s. They were still teaching at that school and still chucking shit at kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, honestly, if you did some kind of investigation into Bournemouth School, you'd be like, this school is like 50 years out of date, why are they still chucking board rubbers at kids? But they didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you know there's someone that you knew, like 30 years ago, is still doing the same thing that they were. Like their life has not changed. Yeah. In the whole time that you've been living and doing all this different stuff, you look back and you're like- Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I'm not sure that people like the current generation that's working will really live that way. I don't think people do that as much now. I mean, I know my mom and my dad are always saying that the whole job for life thing is kind of gone. I mean, that doesn't exist anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think a lot of employment is more transitory and kind of, I mean, you know, the zero hour contracts and people, a lot of people being self-employed and I just think, yeah, I think people have been a bit less stuck in the same place. But the weird thing is it's easier to keep in touch with people because of all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, your Facebooks and emails and stuff. So you kind of have a better idea of what everybody's doing, but everybody's kind of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do. The bodega? The bodega? We do. It's a longan. It's a longan apparently. It's a two and a half pager.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kytos had been born, for want of a better word, on the planet Sigil, at the same time as all the other Sigilese beings in the galaxy. All the Sigilese that had ever been or would ever be were created then, in a single moment, fully formed and conscious. One moment the universe wasn't there, the next it was, and the Sigilese were too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All their houses, roads, a sewer system, socialized medicine, and education, and really good internet. It was like Sweden suddenly existing. It was this infinitely unlikely double event that led the sigiles to believe that they were special. Extremely special. So special in fact, that their creation was even less likely than the creation of the universe itself. Imagine a cake suddenly popping into existence out of nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This also asks some pretty big questions. For example, what the flav? This was a common question among scientists when confronted with the sigilese problem. If the universe kind of made sense, the sigilese really, really didn't. And it caused a huge rift in the scientific community that lingered to this day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some concluded that the sigilese creation story was a myth. That they just happened to be one of the oldest civilizations around. The carbon dating of early sigilese artifacts proved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were as old as the universe. To the nanosecond, in fact. Because of their self-appointed status as the most improbable and therefore most important race around, the Sigillites were almost insufferable in their egotism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people were proud to be tall or strong. Some were proud of their race's grand history of conquest or exploration. The Sigiles just figured that their creation alone was much more than anything anyone else could really come up with, so they paraded around wearing jewelry older than some people's solar systems. Some of them even had pairs of jeans older than people's galaxies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you tried to reminisce near a sigilese, you'd better be prepared to have your anecdote trumped into the next dimension. Naturally, many people believe the sigilese to be proof of the existence of a divine creator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, come on, they would say. If that's not proof, then what the flav would be. And they were kinda right. It was nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the Sidjulese did not believe in God. The idea that there was something out there even fancier than them was just ridiculous. And the idea that God would create a race of people who didn't believe in him at all sealed the deal for many scientists. This was just one of those weirdo things that happens in an infinite universe. End of story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kytos was approximately 13 billion years old.


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[Assistant] He'd done everything he ever needed to do, satisfied every desire, and achieved more than any non-Cigulese being could ever achieve. The list was so long it would take around a billion years just to read it.


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[Assistant] And so, like all old people, Kytos had started volunteering a lot. He had the free time, he didn't need money since his bank account had 13 billion years worth of interest in it, and his kids were so grown up they were older than 90% of the known universe. When that young Puck Bodega had approached him asking for help,


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[Assistant] Kytos had said yes instantly, even though what Bodega had asked him was so trivial to Kytos that it barely deserved his attention.


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[Assistant] The late era Kytos turned no friend down, no matter the request. It was hard enough to make friends anyway when you knew you'd outlive them by billions of years, so he clung to the ones he did have.


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[Assistant] As requested, Kytos parked in his unbelievably cool ship in Krem Slumdump's home system, GERK, in orbit around the lush green GERK-1.


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[Assistant] Krem wasn't home, but Majesta was, and Kytus was the one who had introduced her to Bodega. He was here to clear the air between the two errant lovers, since it was too dangerous for Bodega to come to GERK himself.


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[Assistant] Kytos reached out with his mind, knowing Majesta would hear his thoughts. Within minutes, a sleek blue vessel spanned up gracefully from the planet below and positioned itself alongside Kytos' ship. Majesta materialised on his bridge a moment later.


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[Assistant] You don't need the ship, do you? He asked her. No, of course not, but I like the ceremony of it, she said, looking around and smiling. Kytos admired her perfect beauty. She was tall, yet delicate. Her hair was so thick it looked like a few dozen birds could easily nest in it. Her breasts and buttocks seemed locked in a battle to outdo one another, and her face was so perfect it was hard to look directly at it.


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[Assistant] When she smiled, it seemed that no other achievement was worth striving towards.


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[Assistant] Kytos had long ago given up on love. He'd had trillions of lovers, but Majesta? She was something else. Naturally, Kytos would wait until after Bodega had died before making a move, and he'd wait a good few millennia after that just to be polite.


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[Assistant] Bodega didn't want children, and I did. What about Cranemast, Kytos? I'm seeing where that goes for now. Bodega sees people through their actions, as most do. I don't. She stood with her back to Kytos, staring at GERK-1 through the viewport.


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[Assistant] I know every facet of someone's personality the moment I meet them. Every lie they tell themselves, all the things they regret and the things they don't, but should. For a long time I held off reading Bodega's mind because I wanted to experience love the way others do.


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[Assistant] But eventually I became curious. One night while he slept, I journeyed into Bodega's mind and what I found was, well, it scared me.


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[Assistant] What was it? asked Kytos, genuinely intrigued for the first time in around 15,000 years. That's private, said Majesta, admonishing Kytos with the gentlest of glances that still crushed his spirit more deeply than the time he'd accidentally landed his ship on a Dildonian school bus.


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[Assistant] Ask her why, said Kytos, turning in his seat to face Majesta. Looking up at her this way made her seem so imperious and alluring that Kytos decided to shave a millennia or two off his polite waiting time.


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[Assistant] Majesta's face contorted into something like anger for a moment. So subtle that Kytos almost missed it. She vanished from the bridge, and her ship blasted back towards the planet's surface. Kytos would return to Bodega with a message. He would tell Bodega that, eventually, she would be his again. No woman can resist a man she cannot change. The end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you say that. I mean, I don't like, I've got less to talk about than ever now. Like we went on a trip, nothing really happened. We came back, nothing happened really. And now here we are with nothing to talk about. So.


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[Assistant] This, this is probably more interesting than our trip. What did you get up to while we were away on a trip?


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[Assistant] It was actually a two episode mini series where the whole family goes to Italy. I mean, it was just as bad as every other episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.


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[Assistant] I think Ray Romano is clinically depressed, that he's gotta be. He just seems to hate life and everything.


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[Assistant] And Larry David is probably a thousand times more concentrated than that as well.


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[Assistant] You say that, but there'd be no Seinfeld if it wasn't for that. And I'm super grateful that Seinfeld exists. I'm not at all grateful that Everybody Loves Raymond exists.


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[Assistant] I've never met a person who loves that show. Like for me, that show was just on and obviously people watched it because it's on all the fucking time. Like it's on TV here every day for Christ's sake.


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[Assistant] You know, there's a big culture gap there where, you know, I think, I think it was like Seinfeld, like Seinfeld didn't translate super well in England, you know, like you'll meet a lot of people in England who've just never watched it or just didn't get it.


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[Assistant] For some reason, Everybody Loves Raymond is somehow more relatable. It's, it's on TV every day here. Sunfeld is. Yea, maybe. Like it's so weird. I don't know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a, it's a pretty weird show. You are right. I mean, Frasier's on every day here and I think that's a great show.


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[Assistant] I mean, another show where all of the characters are terrible, uhm, not, not like, not, not badly acted or whatever, I mean, I mean, just like their personalities or, or whatever are, are, you know, terrible is always sunny in Philadelphia, but that show is fucking hilarious.


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[Assistant] It's super good, like you should, you should, you should watch it, it's funny as hell.


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[Assistant] Churches are really hit and miss like that because sometimes you go to a church and the altar is really crappy. You know, it's just like a, just like a block of wood and it's boring. But then other times you go to church and like you said, it's like,


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[Assistant] No, but honestly, I'd rather go to like the nice one than like the shitty. You know, like churches in North America, I don't know if you've ever been to them, but...


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[Assistant] We didn't get enough donations last year and all we could afford was this fucking boring piece of wood.


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[Assistant] Oh, it's incredible. There's no, like they get to the point where like the baby iguana is going to get eaten by a snake and the lead up is like two minutes of basically silence and for those two minutes you feel so fucking helpless. You're just like, oh shit.


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[Assistant] It's just gonna happen. Like I can't do anything. I have to sit here and watch this. Even Attenborough's just not talking anymore. He's done. And then fucking it happens. And then the baby Gwana dies and you're just like, and then it's like, so cruel, mother nature. Fuck! No!


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[Assistant] And like, holy shit, the fucking shit that penguins put up with is unbelievable. They are incredible animals. They really are. It's insane. Like, I don't even know how they do it. I don't know how they manage to have babies and make more penguins and stuff. It's insane. Like, they live in the harshest conditions ever.


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[Assistant] Man, I don't know if you've ever seen penguins at the zoo or whatever, but to add insult to injury after all of that, they fucking stink so bad too. Like they shit everywhere, it stinks, it's putrid, it's awful, and I just think like, give these penguins a break, give them something. Give them a break.


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[Assistant] Man, they're like, they're like torpedoes when they get in there. But they don't, don't spend a lot of time doing it, which is weird. You know?


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[Assistant] Oh man. Anyway, so, Rome. What else did you get up to in Rome?


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[Assistant] Oh, Comic Con. Shh, don't say it. Oh shit. Oh, sorry.


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[Assistant] Did you just, did you just tell them that they had a uhm. No, I told them, I told them


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[Assistant] There was that one year where that fireworks factory blew up. You remember that? That was like the ultimate one. Nobody could top that one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, everyone was like, oh shit, what are we going to have to do next year? Like blow up two of them or like, and then, and everybody just sort of set off. Okay.


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[Assistant] I'm sure it did. That would be a bit convenient, wouldn't it? No, I'm sure it did though. Like, I remember clearly this happening at some point.


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[Assistant] Constantly for like 12 hours. Like it was insane. Like just when they thought they were like, okay, I think finally.


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[Assistant] Did he have the big, did he have the big sand pit like in your backyard and nobody was allowed to go close to it? He'd have to like launch them and stuff.


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[Assistant] From inside, like, like from the kitchen window.


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[Assistant] If you, if you got double glazing, it does that thing that windshields do, you know, like it just cracks a lot, but like none of the window, like no fragments go flying or anything like that. It's all contained. Okay. Yeah. It's good to know. It's got like a, like a, like some sort of film over it or something that holds it all in. So you'd be fine.


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[Assistant] Like in Canada and in America, well Canada on the 1st of July is Canada Day, so that was like our firework day. Like that's when you do your fireworks.


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[Assistant] Throughout the year, not really, you know, it's just Canada Day and New Year's, New Year's Eve, like fireworks as well. But Canada Day was the big one. I remember like they do like massive fireworks like from Parliament Hill and stuff in Ottawa. And I guess the 4th of July is the American one where they go out and they buy all their humdingers and


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[Assistant] And, but, I don't know, like, it is weird, like, we, we didn't really, like, it wasn't like a, like the done thing, like over here, people buy, like, a lot of fireworks in France, I guess, and bring them back over here, and make a big deal about launching them in their backyard and stuff, and, and all throughout the...


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[Assistant] Yeah, so people do that. But like, yeah, it's pretty weird. I don't know. There's like, where I grew up anyway, there wasn't like a lot of like home brew fireworks. Like you just went downtown and watched like the real show, you know?


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[Assistant] This year was the first year where it was the double whammy and it caught me a little bit off guard. I went into, we went into a store to buy a couple of Halloween things. Cause when you have kids, they want to like decorate the house and they, you know, they look forward to trick or treating and stuff and that's, that's all fine and stuff. So we go in and we, we go in to buy the stuff.


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[Assistant] I like like the week of Christmas. I like like Christmas Eve, Christmas day, Boxing day and like the couple of days leading up to the new year or whatever. I don't mind. Like, you know, if you, if you have a like a normal nine to five job, normally if you're lucky enough, you can get that time off. So you just, you know, lays around a lot, eats.


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[Assistant] There's lots of movies and stuff on TV that you can just watch during the day and stuff is pretty cool. I like that time. I hate the fucking lead up. Like it drives me nuts. I hate the fucking stores and all the shit and all these fucking weird frothing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he'd love it. But no, like Christmas, we put up a tree and like we put up a couple of things, but we don't like put lights all around the house. And that's another thing that's not like super.


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[Assistant] What about a homebrew nativity scene outside on your front lawn?


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[Assistant] Crazy they're going as well. Like the stress is building up, there's a lot of pressure. They probably have like family flying in from fucking who knows where to stay with them for a week and stuff. And these people are buying like four turkeys and like just all of this shit and you're like oh fuck off.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's what's gonna happen.


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[Assistant] I mean, there's plenty of pictures like that available of us as well. So like, you know, they're going to be able to put together a pretty solid case about how bad of dads we are with all the pictures of us pouring over video games.


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[Assistant] Oh man. Poor dad. Fuck, you gotta feel sorry for a dad. Nah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're forced to wear like, you know, like a salmon pink dress shirt or something like that with a pair of jeans and you just think.


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[Assistant] Holy shit. Man. Anyway. Sips will be called up to the Mounties. Of course. Yeah, gotta police those mountains. You never know what's going on there, you know? Could be like some...


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[Assistant] Could be like a Navy SEAL team or something trying to invade the mountains. Gotta get the horse back.


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[Assistant] And like, I don't understand why those guys didn't. Like it's nuts.


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[Assistant] It's like, it's like, it's weird though, isn't it? Like, I understand in a way that I'm not surrendering until they got the all clear to do so sort of thing, cause I think, I think the Japanese army was trained that way, you know, like, you're talking about an army with an air force where, you know,


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[Assistant] Alright, well hey listen, uhm, so we went on a trip, right? And, uh, as is custom when I go on a trip that's like a week long or whatever, I catch up on TV, I watched,


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[Assistant] The latest series of Game of Thrones, and man, did I ever like it. It was good. It was a really good one. I don't want to spoil anything, so if you haven't seen it, stop listening now, but uhm, for those of you who have seen it, holy shit, who wasn't satisfied with Ramsay Bolton's demise, because...


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[Assistant] It was so great moment, but like, I mean, all the memes and stuff had started before I'd seen it, so I knew it was coming.


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[Assistant] No, I mean, if you fucking rip, he's dead too. And that's been kind of satisfying as well, just Cersei slowly losing everybody that...


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[Assistant] You know, she's such a wretched cunt as well. She's the worst. You know, like it's, it's good that like slowly she's just being chipped away at as well. Like it's, it's pretty good.


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[Assistant] Next season she's, she's the, she's the chief though, so who knows.


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[Assistant] Not more so than the mountain, who is just like some sort of fucking undead abomination.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Jon Snow's story is pretty cool too. Like, you know, like he's, he's, he's a likable hero sort of thing, isn't he?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but it's, it's got to do with the whole sort of thing like that Robin Hood guy who's,


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[Assistant] He could still die and I think that like, he, he needs to come back for this thing because there's, there's definitely some sort of like higher power at player or something anyway. But I don't think that that means that he's just immune from death forever now. Like I think, I think, I think as with


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[Assistant] Anything in Game of Thrones, like once they've sort of served their purpose or run their course, they're gone, sort of thing.


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[Assistant] Equally, I'm glad that Sandor Clegane is back, cause he's fucking awesome.


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[Assistant] I'm playing a lot of Overwatch and occasionally just in like the, in like the match chat, which is like, you know, the non-team chat or whatever, some dude will just be like, I have a small dick.


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[Assistant] You'd be playing a game against somebody for like 20 minutes. They'll, they'll show no sign of recognizing who you are at all. And then when you're watching the cards come up with the play of the game, you know, all chat is just like, I have a small dick. You're like,


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[Assistant] Siete, it's uh, it's imported directly from Buno's Aries.


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[Assistant] You have to have a little bit of a list as well.


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[Assistant] And then you have to, you have to have a little bit of a silence, and then in your angriest voice, you have to say, puta.


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[Assistant] Oh my gosh. Oh no. So, two things, okay? In this, in this world of crazy sort of like lingo for things. Right. Jerking it.


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[Assistant] You know, what about like, warvin' it or something, you know, like instead.


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[Assistant] Also, I'm a little bit sort of...


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[Assistant] The, with the majestic shard, okay? I feel like...


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[Assistant] It's in, it's in Bodega. It was? It was. Maybe, maybe corrupting him a little bit while it's in there. And uhm.


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[Assistant] Man, I am not on board for a story of corruption and fel, okay? I'm just saying.


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[Assistant] Okay, good. Let's just make- I just want to be clear that like-


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[Assistant] No, not evil, just, just somehow corrupted him to do things that maybe he wouldn't normally have done.


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[Assistant] I don't know. I see a lot of positive stuff about it. A lot of people say a lot of really nice things and, uh, it's nice. It's nice to have people listen to it and like it and say, say nice things. So I think we should give a shout out.


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[Assistant] It does true, Sips. That means that a lot of people's armchairs are gonna have demon arms coming out of them and attacking them and sucking them into a fridge in very short space of time. So watch out, ladies and gents.


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[Assistant] They never stop growing. That's it. Your ears don't stop growing. So you end up with big old, old man ears. I think that's true of men's ears anyway. I don't know if it's true of women's ears.


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[Assistant] What are you thinking of doing with it? What are you going to use it for besides the obvious things?


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[Assistant] I just wanna swing it around. I mean, do you look around the house and think, what could I fix today? And you think, I wonder if I could fit my dick in that, and that would fix it.


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[Assistant] No, you can't do that. You can't do that. Why not? Because if you trim it with like clippers, it doesn't get it all and you have stubble and that's really annoying and itchy and you get ingrown hairs.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but that was part of his whole look, wouldn't it? Like as a kind of a guy that looked like a grifter.


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[Assistant] I see people, uh, you see a lot of people in pornography that have obviously waxed their entire bodies.


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[Assistant] How can you frown on that? How can you frown upon that? Like, women's arms, they're not hairy like a man's hairy arms. It's like light hair, you know? Even if it's dark, it's not bushy. They don't look like Popeye.


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[Assistant] Coming out of, mainly out of Hollywood. If you think about all this kind of stuff like colonic irrigation, obsessive hair removal.


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[Assistant] What I wanna know is can you get scrotal smoothing so it's perfectly sheer like a globe, like a perfect globe.


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[Assistant] What happens if you go into really warm water? Cause I always feel like my scrotum gets bigger in warm water, like my balls are desperately trying to find a way out, and there's no way out.


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[Assistant] I think, uh, I think obviously there's the hint of something.


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[Assistant] They're, you know what I mean? It's like, it's not like a pair of boobs. Like boobs are almost impossible to hide. They're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, a guy can wear just slightly baggy trousers and unless he's packing a fucking cannon down there, you know, you're not really gonna know. You're gonna know there's something in there cause he's got like, just that little zip is all that's separating you from what you seek. But instead, with a pair of boobs, you can't even hide them. You can't. They're right fucking there.


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[Assistant] So I do feel, uh, you know, I feel bad for ladies that perhaps don't want their massive knockers, their massive glorious orbs on show. Tough. We can see them and we appreciate it.


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[Assistant] It's like, wow. It's the best thing about summer, honestly, is seeing all these wonderful, beautiful people.


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[Assistant] I think it depends on who you're working with, like if you're, it's like anything, if you're, if you have a shop and you're expecting-


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[Assistant] Yeah, probably not, but yeah, you know, jeez, I've been to mechanics. It's mostly guys that work in these places. All the mechanics around here I've been to, it's all a bunch of young guys working in there. They're stuck around stinky men all day. Christ, let them have a fucking calendar of some women. Jesus. Is that really such a problem? I, I, I don't think there's an issue with that. No, I mean, I'm not trying to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's gonna march in there? You're gonna tell the mechanic, the guy who's got your car? You shouldn't have that counter, that's offensive. He's gonna be like, oh really? Well guess what, your gearbox just fell off. Like no, he can have the counter.


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[Assistant] Just because you go to the fucking gym now, you can't just suddenly say, hey guys, I'll be going to the gym for a week. Let's go, let's get him out. Woo, look at my guns, woo hoo hoo. Maybe give it six months, Lewis, and when you're fucking huge, then you can push this again.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and there was this one dad who obviously felt that he had this like terrific relationship with the teacher. Cause he thought that the assembly wasn't like a one way thing, like there was some kind of fucking audience interaction.


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[Assistant] So the guy's constantly chipping in with these funny comments and like making, having jokes to the teacher. He had a really loud AHAHAHA kind of laugh after all his jokes. And I just thought-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you shut the fuck up? Like, I wanted to say to him, I wanted to tap on the shoulder and say, excuse me, sir.


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[Assistant] This is not some kind of Brechtian, you know, fourth wall is gone, audience interaction shit. Just shut the fuck up and let us hear our kids sing the songs. If you wanna have a little joke with the teacher, have a little joke with the teacher on your own time. I'm trying to record my kid singing her song, holding up a picture she did of her mum, and you are not fucking helping. But I didn't say that, I just touched it.


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[Assistant] But he was one of those guys, like he had, obviously, I was like, I go to pick up my kids and I see the teacher, and I think, alright, maybe he knows the teacher, but he's one of those guys, and you see these people, he seems to know everybody a little bit.


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[Assistant] But his interactions with each of them is so over the top that you'd think that they'd literally just come from some amazing party or they'd all just been on holiday together and I hadn't been invited and they have some kind of crazy good relationship with everybody and he's like, hey, how's it going? And I listen in on what they're saying and it's nothing. It's just like empty talk. It's like the one thing that he can remember about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His previous interaction with these people is for some reason the funniest thing.


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[Assistant] Like that's the funniest fucking thing. Alright, see you next time. Alright, peace everybody. Thanks for watching. I'll be here tomorrow to pick up my fucking kid again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, so he's like that guy, but, but in assembly, so. But other than that, the assembly was great, I give it 8 out of 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That reminds me, do you remember that there was that, I still have yet to figure out if it was just a internet rumor or if it was true, that the guy, what was his name? What was the guy that wrote Garfield? Was it John Harris or something? What was his name?


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[Assistant] If you look at the very sort of, there he wrote these very dark versions of Garfield, where Garfield, that Odie and John and all that had died, or had left him and he was just abandoned in the house, and all it was was this unbelievably bleak, like it was drawn just like Garfield, I'm sure it wasn't real.


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[Assistant] I'm looking up the Garfield thing and it's true, it did happen. You can look it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you look up Garfield, it's on the Comic Alliance website. The scariest comic of all time is a Garfield story from 1989. That's what the title of the story is by Chris Simms from 2014 and it's real. And it was, it was, uh, it was published and it ends with him.


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[Assistant] Clearly hallucinating that, uh, that everything is real and he's just living in a dilapidated house. And the final panel says lot fast within a time when he no longer exists, Garfield grapples with his greatest fear, loneliness. That's the end of the fucking panel.


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[Assistant] And then it, and then it goes on and, uh, he just denies everything and carries on living his life. But, uh, yeah, he just imagines that everything's all right. That's how, and then just Garfield just carries on. As if nothing happened.


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[Assistant] Decades. I mean, have you ever read Garfield? Has it ever made you laugh? Have you ever thought, oh Garfield. Not once.


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[Assistant] I mean, do you remember Disney went through that stage in the 70s when all they seemed to do was make, I'm sure we've talked about this before, movies. Fuck me. And last time we talked about it, I forgot her cocking name as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the, well her, but the woman out of, uhm, Science of the Lambs, what's her fucking, Jodie Foster, right? Jodie Foster. I'm sure those Herbie movies were Disney movies. They just made all these live action fucking movies. Uh, I think they would, they had no idea what they were doing. And then along came,


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[Assistant] That 80s, 90s revival for Disney when they suddenly realized why don't we just make cartoons and stick songs in them and they made shit like The Lion King and all that stuff and it was huge.


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[Assistant] Cause that was when you didn't used to be able to buy movies on VHS for like a decade after they came out.


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[Assistant] I remember, you'd go to the video store and there'd be nothing, and then finally- Oh shit, the turnaround.


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[Assistant] And it costs like 200 quid to buy Star Wars on VHS when they very first came out. Cause I'd go in the video store and they'd have the videos there. And you could buy the video, but it would cost you...


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[Assistant] Do you know what, when I used to come over from the UK to the States, one thing that always surprised me, in the UK when you hide a VHS tape, it was in like this protective fucking attache case sized box. Right. That had the cover and everything. Yeah. And when we went to the States, they were just in like a little card sleeve that fit right over the tape.


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[Assistant] And now it's like, alright, peace out Blockbuster, you're gone. It's so tragic. I do wonder why they never got in on like that themselves, like the whole Netflix, cause you remember, like it, what was it called, Love Film, I think, you used to get a DVD in the post from Love Film, and I think Netflix did the same thing, and Blockbuster never really did it.


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[Assistant] Cause if you suddenly, look, but they should have diversified, they just said, you know what, fuck it, nobody's gonna wanna walk into this grimy video store when they could get it delivered to their house.


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[Assistant] It's part 18. 18-0. Bodega. Part 18. I don't like it, said Bodega, glaring out of the viewport on the bridge of the Disco Volante.


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[Assistant] He stood, hands on hips, shaking his head, staring at his hideout that sat motionless in the small asteroid field. Maybe she's on vacation, said Nebesh. I don't think so. She'd have told me, replied Bodega. He ran his hand down one side of his face, then the other, and Nebesh thought for one moment he'd seen a tiny spark fly from Bodega's stubble.


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[Assistant] Nevis trusted Bodega's trouble sense more than he trusted the ship's sensors. He may have been a computer nut, but he also believed that evidence spoke for itself. Bodega was never wrong. If he thought there was trouble, there was trouble. End of story.


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[Assistant] Want to send Varu aboard? Check it out, asked Nebbish, cocking his head. Ain't fair to send him out there just cause he's a robot, Neb, said Bodega, turning and walking towards the cargo hold. He is a robot though, why risk a life? He ain't a robot, he's a friend of mine, said Bodega, and that's that. Fine.


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[Assistant] Wish we had a drone or something, sighed Nebesh. Will goes, called Bodega, and Reb too. And with that, Nebesh could hear him readying his lasgun.


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[Assistant] Five minutes later, they filed out of the Gretham insertion shuttle. Rab had his gore hammer ready, Bodega his lad's rifle, and Nebish his needle pistol. Reed had been needed back at corporate HQ for some big meeting, so he wasn't present. And Variel was staying behind on the Gretham. Sheila!


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[Assistant] Sheila, called Bodega, rifle raised. Reckon she'd take off. Been away for a few weeks, man, said Rab, checking the corners of the docking port while sipping from a can of spatial brew. The base wasn't large enough to accommodate the Disco Volante, but if there was trouble, Rab was glad they hadn't put all their eggs in this one basket.


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[Assistant] Where did you find Sheila anyway? asked Nebesh. Recruitment agency. Couldn't think of anyone I knew that would want to push papers and make scoffee all day, said Bodega ruefully.


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[Assistant] Let's check the office, said Bodega. They carefully moved through the cramped base, checking corners and angles, wary and ready for battle.


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[Assistant] Grab and Nebuch began turning over papers on Sheila's desk. Nebuch began checking her computer. As Bodega entered his office, he saw a note pinned to the whiteboard. A piece of paper folded in two. On the front it said Bodega, so Bodega lifted the folded flap. He heard a tiny SNICK sound. Behind the flap, embedded in the whiteboard, was a small green disk about the size of his palm.


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[Assistant] It had a digital readout on the front that flashed into life, displaying red numbers. 00.04.


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[Assistant] That's a bomb then, thought Bodega calmly. When everything was about to go floppy Bodega's mind became tranquil. This was partly a gift and partly training. He'd also been in these kinds of situations so many times that he was able to assess each one with the detached nonchalance of a man mowing his lawn in his dressing gown.


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[Assistant] First things first, thought Bodega. Got to seal this room. He glanced left and saw Rab about five meters away. Their eyes met for a split second, and Rab instantly knew just how floppy things were about to get.


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[Assistant] Bodega began breathing as rapidly as he could. He was getting as much oxygen into his bloodstream as possible because pretty soon he was going to have to empty his lungs and last time he checked...


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[Assistant] Some more breathing. Bodega could see a small car-sized asteroid behind the base through the viewport. He leaned backward as much as he could and raised one leg in the air like he was about to start some kind of crazy drunken marching. He raised the rifle. Zero zero point zero one. Bodega exhaled as hard as he could until he started to see stars around his peripheral vision.


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[Assistant] He pulled the trigger on the lasgun. The rear of the room vanished in a blinding flash, and Bodega was blasted out into space along with everything around him. His desk, a moldy cup of scoffee, paperwork, his computer, a chair. Zero zero point zero zero.


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[Assistant] The tiny charge went off behind him, but Bodega was already travelling so fast he never felt it.


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[Assistant] He felt all the moisture on his tongue evaporate and his eyeballs began to freeze over. He couldn't really see much of anything and for the first time he heard real silence. The true, total silence of the void. He also saw that asteroid coming up real fast at his 12 o'clock. He brought his feet together so he looked like some kind of insane cowboy missile system in flight.


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[Assistant] His grand boots maybe had enough juice in them to slow him for impact. When the asteroid was scary close, he fired the boots by tapping the heels together just so.


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[Assistant] The g-force of the deceleration brought more stars to his already clouded vision, but a moment later he landed on the asteroid, a tiny plume of dust and pieces of rock erupting at his feet. He was about five seconds into this unwanted spacewalk, and he knew he had around ten to fifteen seconds left before he blacked out.


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[Assistant] He turned carefully to look back towards the base. One side of it was spewing gas into the void, and it listed badly, tumbling slowly so that it was about to go end over end. He could see the disco volante parked up around a kilometer away. He had to cross that distance soon, or he was going to die of being in space.


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[Assistant] If you could plant the charge facing outwards, it might be able to get this little roid moving towards the disco.


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[Assistant] He slapped the charge on a spot he felt pretty sure was in line with the ship and ripped the go-cord. A moment later it went off silently and Bodega noted with detached interest that the roid was now rocketing through space towards his ship.


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[Assistant] But was off-angle by about 20 degrees. Close enough, maybe. He saw the Gretham spiral out of the dying station and begin burning away. The disco fired up his engines, and he saw it turning rapidly on the spot like a carousel.


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[Assistant] Baru looking for him. No time to run a scan, the robot was eyeballing it.


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[Assistant] Five seconds left, till Bodega blacked out. The disco was around half a click now. He fired his lasgun wildly into space trying to get Vario's attention. It worked. The disco froze for a moment, then burned hard towards him.


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[Assistant] With the last of the juice in the scramboots, Bodega launched himself off his rocky steed and held one arm out in front. He guessed because his brain was saying, Pard, that ship is moving awful fast towards you. As he began to black out before seeing Varu in the cockpit of the disco and then nothing.


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[Assistant] Hello and welcome back to the Tri Force Podcast. This time, not on the road. No. Not in a van, not in a, not in a tour bus, not in a tank. Not in the tank or the bus. Yeah, it's a shame. One day. Just from the dad garage, it's a spare bedroom, and I don't know where we're about to you, P-Flex.


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[Assistant] Ah, right. Is it got a bed in it? It may have a bed.


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[Assistant] Right, yeah. Right, like reminders or notes or just memes. Shout out to Sephiroth69 for the big donation and stuff.


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[Assistant] It's always funny, you see these sort of knickknackery shelves in the background, Sipsis always, you had some in your office, didn't you? And it was just a sort of eclectic mix of crap that you'd either been given or picked up or been sent in the mail. I feel like a lot of these shelves in the background are largely just full of tat.


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[Assistant] And kind of crappy, like, there's not a lot of thought gone into it. You know, like for example, I think with you, it was an old Garrosh poster.


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[Assistant] It's difficult, right? That's obviously something that's close to your heart. It's stuff which means a lot to you, and therefore it's okay, I suppose, to have it on the wall. But then again, what else would you have? You know, what would you put up? What kind of pictures would you hang there? Would you choose some artwork or something pretentious?


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[Assistant] Steam trains? Yeah, but it's got 34p, how long is a tank, a stamp being that expensive?


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[Assistant] Do you think there's ever gonna be a time when you might get some stamps?


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[Assistant] So I was thinking that would be really nice for you to have on your wall of your dad garage would be a blown up picture of stamps with you on them.


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[Assistant] I guess so. Maybe you just need to find things that please you though, because, you know, Terps, we, we met, um, Matt Dixon, the Hearthstone card artist guy, and Terps is a big fan, and he, he bought a autographed piece of his art, you know, of one of his, um, I can't remember which picture it was, you know, but got, I think it was like, um,


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[Assistant] Hello, hello, like the, um, anoyatron. Yeah. And so, you know, that's a cool thing, I think, to have a signed picture of a Hearthstone card that you like on the wall or something like that. I think that's, that's, that's something, or something that, that means something, you know, like now we've talked about that piece of art with the stamps on, that's, that's iconic.


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[Assistant] Well this is an issue, a modern issue isn't it, that we don't take pictures physically anymore, we have to take them on a...


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[Assistant] Do you, do you, I mean, this is one thing I relatively noticed when my dad came around last Christmas and so then he was on the livestream. You know, when he was on camera, I realized how old he looked, but because he was my dad, I didn't, I didn't notice, like, that he- Did you take him aside after?


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[Assistant] So the second pitch you sent is of you doing a sort of a strange leaning forward and squinting pose. Did they send you to a local sort of high quality pitches parlor or something?


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[Assistant] Yep, he's good. Yeah, got some really good guys. Everyone else is great too, but Harry especially. Harry's right up there.


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[Assistant] First of all, a lot of the world, especially in hot countries, do have a siesta in the afternoon where they take an hour out in the hottest part of the day. And it's, you know, with climate change, you know, it's going to move upwards.


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[Assistant] Second thing. Yeah, it could be bucking the trend. It's definitely, that's, that honestly, PFLAX, bucking the trend. That's, that's, that could be the name of your autobiography right there. It could be the


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[Assistant] Like sat there asleep, you know, just perfectly and you talk to him and he's just like, Oh yeah, I was listed on this. And then he smiles and he knows that he's just like fall asleep.


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[Assistant] I mean I do put a lot of people to sleep when they talk to them and stuff. It is a thing that I have found in my life that I can do. It's one of my super powers. Talk people to sleep. Yeah, definitely.


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[Assistant] It's a, it's a tough thing. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, that's when your brain starts going at that time. I think it's the parallel, I think is that past a certain age, you kind of start become, it's like that film where that guy aged in reverse. What's that film? Benjamin Button. Oh yeah. Benjamin Button.


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[Assistant] We'll see, did he age somehow in reverse? Anyway, I think that, I've, I think that past a certain point you sort of become a toddler again, okay? You have, you have to be looked after, you can't be let out, you know, you can't- Similarities to a toddler.


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[Assistant] Toddlers play, you know, simple stuff. You know, I, I don't think we're going to be in an old folks home playing Scrabble and Monopoly or whatever, you know, we'll be playing Magic the Gathering or playing Starcraft.


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[Assistant] The original, original Starcraft. Back to, back to basics. I don't know. Back to basics, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, it's an interesting, interesting question. So touching on the, uh, the period of Flax autobiography, you did actually prepare something for this week's podcast, didn't you? Oh shit, yeah.


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[Assistant] Okay. Bodega. Part Uno. Oh. I'm hoping that this is gonna be like Gentleman Broncos. You'll see. Okay. Can we just interrupt any time? Of course. No, feel free. Okay.


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[Assistant] Magnificent. Oh my lord. Magnificent p-flex. That was...


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[Assistant] Spodega style. Oh, the sp-sp-sp-spoopies. Spoopy and strippers, what were they? Oh yeaah. Jesus. Well we know about-


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[Assistant] They can represent themselves, they can see themselves in Bottega.


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[Assistant] I don't think we can top that. Oh my god. So, have you done anything else this week? What have you guys been up to? What have you guys, have you been anywhere? Have you done anything?


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[Assistant] Is it that classic GIF or, or image of the before and after? Do you mean GIF? Yeah, sorry. You said GIF.


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[Assistant] I've switched team. Where the kid looks really excited to go off to school and then just really exhausted and dead when they come home. Just overwhelmed by- That is the beauty of school. It ties them right out.


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[Assistant] It's great. I'm so tired. Is it just like, completely overwhelmed with, with new information? It's like overload, sensory overload.


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[Assistant] No way. Jesus. Kids smoke in your school? Was that a thing?


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[Assistant] Wow. So how did you two both, cause you, I mean, I guess you did smoke, but then you quit Sips and you smoked and then quit P-Flex and then you, cause Sips has been talking about getting a vape again lately and getting back onto that crack.


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[Assistant] So it sounds like a pretty typical, just teenagers rebelling, listening to- I think it's like a fairy. Metal music out in the woods and smoking and drinking.


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[Assistant] I mean, when you're a kid though, you're at the school as well, you're doing so much, you've got different groups of friends, you're doing different things, you're doing all these things that your parents want you to do, you're going to, you're learning the piano or whatever, you know, you've got so many things on the go.


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[Assistant] Me and my friends wouldn't go outside though, you know, we would, we would be trying to get, you know, red alert to multiplayer or starcraft to multiplayer, starcraft 1, multiplayer, working on the LAN. That's what we would do when we were 13.


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[Assistant] I think it still is that, it still is this very social thing where you meet other smokers. And yeah, I think that's one of the things Tom told me about why he likes smoking. Cause you end up just stood outside somewhere, talk to someone else.


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[Assistant] But at the same time, I think the body is very, very good at healing you back up, but very good at replacing. Yeah, flushing you out. There's certainly some evidence to show that if you do quit smoking early enough, it doesn't have any major impact on your life.


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[Assistant] It's something, probably something along those lines, isn't it? That sounds, like the amount of time it takes chewing gum to go through your body.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just looking, looking over down, looking over down the end of his nose towards, you know, with his dark eyes, hooded towards that blue peep, he's just come in, he's eyeing him up.


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[Assistant] Oh, I can't wait. Oh, and then we'll assemble them all. I think we should see, it's like old school, um, sci-fi used to be serialized in these magazines. Yeah, short stories. Yeah. Yeah. Put them all together into a book eventually. So if we keep, I mean, there's enough there.


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[Assistant] So we finished recording that yesterday. Won't be on Team Double Dragon for a little while actually, because we've got a lot of WoW Legion going out and also the editors are really, really busy and we're going away and stuff. So this podcast is a bit flaky, but you know, I think


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[Assistant] We'll be, I'm not sure I will be able to do one next week because I'm going to go to EGX, but we might be able to record it on a different morning. Yeah. We're very busy. So, so yeah, thank you for listening to this podcast and supporting it guys. Cheers. Yeah, thanks.


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[Assistant] Appreciate it. It's really nice. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.


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[Assistant] Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of all ages, welcome back to... I'm sick.


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[Assistant] Julliet! The best a man can get! Sponsored by Julliet.


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[Assistant] That's such an office-y thing as well, isn't it? Like to pick up on something stupid like that and just mention it every day.


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[Assistant] It'll toughen you up, son. You don't want to go to prison, do you? Like I did, for 30 years.


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[Assistant] Shut everything down. In some ways it's exciting, right? My kids are like really excited because they've never seen snow before. Also, everything's closed and they get to stay home all day in their pajamas and stuff, so they're pretty excited, but...


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[Assistant] Maybe I'm a bit ignorant, but I always figured in China you could just smoke inside. Like I thought it was like that episode of Always Sunny in Philadelphia where Frank gets like all of those Asian guys in and they're playing cards in the back room and the whole room is just like


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[Assistant] I didn't find that many people spoke English when I went to Japan. I don't know, maybe I just was unlucky or whatever, but we found that a lot of the places we went into, if we asked people if they spoke English, they just, like Flax was saying, just literally had never heard a word of it before in their lives and just didn't know how to react.


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[Assistant] What, what is, and I'm sure everybody else at home listening right now is, is thinking the same thing. What is their Pornhub like? Oh my god.


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[Assistant] We in Terps did the same when we went to LA. We did this Hearthstone thing in LA. We were only there for like two days. Uhm, and it was a good trip, but we upgraded to business because it was super cheap. We were on Air New Zealand.


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[Assistant] There was a chef, okay, and he like, he came over to each of us and he's like, hey guys, I'm the chef on the flight today. I was like, what? There's a chef on the flight? He's like, yeah, you guys want anything to eat? I was like, uh, yeah, I guess so. He's like, I can make this, that, this. I was like, uh, can I just have some pasta or something? He's like, yeah, no problem.


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[Assistant] If you really like snorting cocaine, then that's the only way that you'll do your cocaine.


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[Assistant] When I was, when I was in my teens, I used to smoke a lot and I had to quit smoking when I got pneumonia. I had to quit smoking for like a month. And then after, when I was feeling better, I was right back on the six.


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[Assistant] Just before you continue, they're building a building, or it's a hotel in Dubai that, like, uh, the floors can revolve around. So the whole building,


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[Assistant] Just completely worked you guys out of my schedules and stuff and, you know, just like.


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[Assistant] They really streamlined a lot of like the stuff that just didn't feel great, like originally. So now, you know like how influence used to work, Louis? You know, like you'd colonize a planet and then influence would slowly creep out.


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[Assistant] Planets, uhm, you know, when you build a planets and then you can build a star base, you used to be able to do that. Now you can build star bases anywhere.


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[Assistant] And they've introduced the Cassis Belli sort of stuff like, uh, claims. So you can, so wars aren't just these massive long-winded, um, attrition fests now. You can have very specific goals for like a small war. You can just like claim


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[Assistant] Make a claim to a system that you want and fight over that and literally resolve the war in like two seconds and take the system.


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[Assistant] Oh, it's been great. God, it's nice to just get stuck into it and play it for like, cause I can just play it for like eight hours a day. So I'm, I'm in five days of streaming it. I'm already like probably past where I was in my original YouTube series of it, which took months and months and months and months to do.


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[Assistant] There's only one bald idiot in this.


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[Assistant] If you're, if you're new, the first thing you have to, you pay us to appear on the podcast, cause this is like for exposure, okay?


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[Assistant] It's for every person that listens to the podcast, you give us £100.


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[Assistant] I had appendicitis when I was a kid, that was pretty bad.


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[Assistant] She, cause she used to be a nurse. She, you know, she knows a bit. She was like, right, lie down. And I was like complaining about my stomach and she, she pushed the part of my stomach where your appendix is, which is like on the right hand side.


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[Assistant] That's why they have the most competitive ambulances in the world.


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[Assistant] She'd, you know, she'd be, she'd have to be like, turn around. Don't look at mommy sucking off the ambulance mount. This is for you.


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[Assistant] Can I just say, I don't want to spread around the lies of alternative medicine. Even as a joke, I think it should be a topic that we do not journey towards. Cause down that path lies anti-vaxxing and bullshit. I get furious about people who say, you know what?


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[Assistant] My gallbladder is enormous as a result of all this bullshit that I have to hear. All this bile is just stored up. I'm just waiting for someone to come up to me and say, I hope you didn't vaccinate your kids and I will vomit bile in their face. Black bile.


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[Assistant] Any of that shit. Any of that shit.


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[Assistant] It doesn't exist. If you can't test that it works, there's no point saying it worked for my mate Terry. Like I don't give a fuck. Or fuck Terry. That's not scientific enough. It's not scientific. The sample size needs to be big. Right.


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[Assistant] Get Terry the fuck out. He knows nothing. He's clueless. There's a whole bunch of people spending their lives very carefully studying that all the medicine that we've got and the tenis and everything are working. If a better one comes along, great, we'll switch to that now. That's better. That's progress. Saying they've used Rosehip to heal people's


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[Assistant] Sips my boy. Do you think the average Egyptian dude that just ran like a papyrus stall, do you think he can afford perfume? It's for the wealthy! I'm not talking about the wealthy, I'm talking about your average girl in the street, girl next door, she's an apple farmer, right? She's out in the sun all day.


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[Assistant] After dad, yeaah. So she's in dad's old bath water if, if they have a bath, a lot of people wouldn't have done. Maybe occasionally she takes a dip in the river. But I mean, alright, so second of all, she's gonna be hairy as fuck. Like everywhere. Like super, super hairy.


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[Assistant] You're gonna be hairy and smelly. Man, I don't think it's that bad. She's not French, she's England. You're mocking Lewis's only having one tooth, right? This woman's lucky to have any teeth. By 22?


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[Assistant] Sweaty. Unwashed. Stank. They're gonna smell like they're homeless. Basically, if you go back in time, medieval time travel, fuck, with a apple seller, it's gonna be like fucking a homeless woman, that's all I'm saying. Just consider it.


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[Assistant] Are you into that? Do you know what that- that's a branch of pornography that I haven't seen catching on? Ugly people. Like where's that category?


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[Assistant] You know, some of the weirdest stuff is the stuff where people who are into inflating things, like there are these guys who get inside a rubber suit and then you put it into like a thing and it pumps up and they can't move like they're stuck in a small corridor. I mean, I feel like that would kind of remind you of being born, right? You're like, you're stuck in a very tight place and you can't move.


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[Assistant] I think if you're into that, that's not really a concern. Like, if your fetish is inflating yourself inside a suit so that you can't move in a tight corridor, I'm pretty sure you're alone in the first place.


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[Assistant] Okay, so this is a story about Roger Moore. Hold on.


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[Assistant] Granddad comes back with the autograph, and he looks at it, and it says, Roger Moore.


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[Assistant] He's like, why doesn't it say James Bond? Like, he's James Bond, he's not Roger Moore. Like, what's up with that? So, he goes up, the granddad goes up to, uh,


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[Assistant] To Roger Moore and says, uhm, I'm afraid you've signed the wrong name. My grandson says you've signed the wrong name. It should say James Bond and Roger Moore.


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[Assistant] He's working on this recording, uh, for UNICEF, he's like a script writer, he's doing stuff for them. Roger Moore does a piece to camera, he's like an ambassador and everything. And he re- he tells Roger Moore the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's the thing, if you know, you don't hear bad stories about Roger Moore, people say now he's a real shit, you know. Like for instance, Sean Connery, if you look on YouTube, you can find a conversation that he did, I think it was in the 70s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I hate that. You finish a good book, you finish that last page, you close it, and you realize, I'm never gonna be able to really read that book again. Like, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate it. The sun bounces off the page. I've got a squint. I'm either looking into the sun so the sunlight isn't hitting the page or I've got the book with the sun hitting it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I watched on TV last night? You don't, but I'll tell you. I watched a show called Gordon Ramsay's Hotel Horrors or Hotel Hell. Have you heard of this show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the weird thing is, like, he goes to this hotel, it's in New Orleans, and it's like right in the, the old town, so it's like, it's a, it's a really historic building. Ulysses S. Grant stayed at this hotel, like, you know, obviously a while back, but they, they bought it like recently, like nine months ago. These three guys, they're like college friends or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guys must have been in their thirties, maybe, maybe early forties, but I think more like thirties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they bought this place and none of them have a fucking clue how to run a hotel. The main guy, the guy that got most of the airtime because he was the biggest dickhead, he said he'd only stayed in a hotel maybe 20 times in his life and he thinks a hotel, that's what we'll do. And they bought this historic building.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just had no idea how to run it. They just wanted to go to the bar. So every night the bar opens, stays open until ultra late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gordon Ramsay's upstairs in one of the rooms, and all you can hear is people screaming downstairs in the bar. And then there's a garden outside the bar, and people are there in the garden drinking and shouting, you can hear the street, and the rooms are right next to that garden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyone in that room just has people reveling all night long, and just screaming, like, waaaaaah! You know the way Americans do when they get really drunk? Wooo! Like all that kind of stuff. They love a good old woo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you get bar fights in the states as well, definitely. But these guys- More whooping. They didn't have any general manager. They just were all in charge of a different section. So this guy's in charge of the bar. This guy's in charge of the food. And this guy's just the front of house guy. But there's no GM. And none of them had eaten the food in the restaurant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so they were talking about, Gordon Ramsay ordered the food, it was disgusting, obviously. And he said to the guys, the two other guys, have you ever eaten your head chef's food? And they were like, oh no, no, never have, absolutely never have. But I know he's fantastic, he's gonna love it. And Gordon Ramsay was like, no I've had it, it was fucking awful, like it was so, so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever had a margarita pizza that you thought, this is, this is fantastic? Rather than just, that was the default margarita pizza. That was what I was expecting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said to her, if you, like I ask her these questions all the time, if you could never do ex again, uh, you know, but we can stay together, and if you want to ever do ex again, we have to get married, would you stay with me? You know, I ask her those sort of questions. They're very tedious for her, but it amuses me greatly. So the one thing I say to her is, would we still be married?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if in order to stay married, you own, you could only consume a life sustaining gruel, like a thin gruel, that was the only choice of food that you had for the rest of your life. Nothing else. You could never have any other food again, just the gruel, but we get to stay together. She pauses for a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A troublingly long amount of time, but she does eventually decide that we can stay together. She's thinking about it, because she's thinking, Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been able to have good food again, just the gruel, every day for the rest of my life. And I worry if this ever comes to pass, which I'm sure it will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Will she at some point come to resent me and she'll think, you're not worth the gruel, you know? The gruel, I, I, I change my mind. Like, we'll have an argument with her and she'll be like, you know what, fuck this, I want some ice cream, we're getting a divorce, I'm sick of the gruel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Sips' problem was that I claimed that you have to eat meat to have fun. And what I'm saying is that if I had some people around for dinner, or I went to someone's house for dinner, and they said, we're doing a roast, and I was like, fantastic, and they said, here it is, and presented a roast squash, I would punch them in the fucking balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all, the assumption that vegetarians always make is that somehow everyone that eats meat eats the worst raised, shittiest quality meat that you can. Like, you know, just dragging baby chicks out of a battery farm and shoving them in our blood-soaked faces. I'd say like 80% of the meat that you get in a grocery store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was looking for a flat. He was, uh, my sister's boyfriend at the time. And we got, you know, have you heard of Yotam Otolengi, right? He's like this, he's, he cooks all this vegetarian stuff. His stuff was really good, you know, it was really good. We just had all this vegetarian food for dinner and everything. It was fine. I mean, geez, you don't miss meat that much. But I wouldn't want to do it full time. And I hate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you might have to sit next to them there at the next desk where, you know, you just have to deal with it. Day in, day out.