[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had a list of about 100 things. It was basically like 50 kind of like games that we know, like publishers that we know, like all the big guys, like all the big games we've been playing over the course of the year, all the things I've done tips on, all this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we had like 50 things on like cosmetic stuff for like, so we had every game basically. It's like Dota, League, TF2, Path of Exile, every single game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so demoralizing because like all the people we know are like, sure, we'd love to try and do something, we'd love to get something in and then like, like they're like, oh, we just couldn't get it through like the big box or whatever. And I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake. So the guy in the suit, like shut it down at the last, like the last hurdle and it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just kill me now, like, so difficult. I know it'll be fine and we'll have like, I think again it's gonna be supported by like this...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, so I don't know, like it's tricky really. I mean, I, I don't want the jiggle jam to be like an advert, like a Sunday newspaper stuffed full of like, oh, there's some vouchers and some, oh, I can give you some money off or, you know, I just, I kind of want it to be authentic and like feel like people get like a good...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we don't live in like a stone age village, so we don't just palm off the kids on one of the other families and go hunt mammoth. We take the kids with us, like any modern mammoth hunting family would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm actually, I'm reading a book about that right now, which is quite interesting. So it's called Sapiens. Have you seen, read, seen that book Sapiens? It's quite famous. It's about sort of how we got where we are. And, um, it talks about that, that initial crossing that they made to North America. So that crossing from the Siberian sort of reaches of Asia across.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Bering Straits to Alaska, which would have been land at that point because of the, um, the ice age and everything. And they got across and then of course it all melted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They couldn't get further south because of glaciers at the time between Alaska and the rest of America, so they were sort of stuck in Alaska in this freezing cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they must have been thinking, what kind of choice is this that we've made?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but eventually, it must have been, there must have been some point where there was a generation whose parents had been able to walk across the Bering Straits and their kids then couldn't. There must have come a tipping point where it was like, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, how do they fucking do it? But I mean, I was thinking like in the book it says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For like tens of thousands of years of human history, we have no record. Like, we don't know what they were like. But they were like, I mean, they were like us mentally and physically. They were as... I mean, the guy makes the point that these guys must have been like the best generation of humans that ever lived. Because if you think about how many skills they have to have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So many things out there trying to kill them. And a simple infection is gonna do for you. Your teeth are gonna kill you a lot of the time. You're gonna die of any kind of bad fracture is probably gonna do you in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no help coming, and you've gotta keep on the move, traveling, how the fu- I mean those people were like super humans. Yeah. I'm just in awe, like the more I read about what ancient life must have been like, the more you- like we look down on them as being- which is a very modern idea, of looking down on people because they didn't have fucking phones or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were amazing and think of the shit that they had to figure out on their own with no books, no record. They had to say, right, I figured this out. I'm going to tell all of you guys. Cause when I die of a bison attack, you know, you don't want to lose the last. It's like in room worlds when you have one guy who can make


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Behavioural evolution, not uhm, physical evolution. We didn't evolve from, from, you know, 20,000 years ago man. We haven't changed much at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, we've been able to specialize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so you gathered what you needed, you went hunting every few days and then you were just chilling out. And like, what I always think is like, we think about the smartest people that ever lived is like Einstein and shit like that. But there must've been an Einstein back then, you know, there would have been geniuses back then born just the way they are now who would have been like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna figure out this shit and they would have fucking had like scientific experiments I guess that they would have done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because how else would they have figured this stuff out? Like, we always make out they must have figured it out by accident. They just, oh, we just stumbled upon this brilliant idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so prized because it only grows around the inner thigh of Jennifer Lawrence. It's the only place it can be found.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always a fucking cheat in nature in there, someone fucking it up for everybody else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I helped you. No, Sips is saying, oh, they were lucky and stupid. And you're saying, see, people nowadays are lucky and stupid. We haven't changed. My point is that people nowadays are probably not even as smart and as capable as the people back then because we don't need to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I'm sure that guy that gathers morels and dies to morel, he's probably a really good accountant. You know what I mean? Or one of them is like an amazing fucking dressmaker. Or this person is brilliant at making fucking-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went, I went to a vegetarian restaurant. It was like a really high-end one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree. I mean, I'm all for it. Like, I honestly, the more people that don't eat, like, I'm genuinely offended by people that have to eat meat three times a day and have meat as a snack, you know, multiple times a day and you don't need that much meat. And it is super bad for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I read a thing, sorry, Lewis, I read a thing saying that the wildlife in Britain, we are one of the most sort of wildlife starved countries in Europe, because of the way we farm and pollution and stuff like that and just changes to the environment that have happened so quickly and haven't considered


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That we're just not noticing. And I do think it is a concern. My, my, my problem is I've got some mates of mine and they're, like a lot of people, they're sick to death of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sort of, uh, environmentalist, what looks like bleating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, it's never ending, it's continual, and it's, a lot of it has been politicized by the left and the right, but I just say, just look at the science. If you don't look at anything else, just look at the science, look at the facts. If you, if you're anti-science, that's not gonna work on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at least say, alright, I'm gonna, I'm gonna look at this from a non-political point of view. Yes, there's a fucking problem. And I, I personally am with the people who are at least trying to do something about it, than the people saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is not worth it or we shouldn't or what about China and stuff like that. Like I don't think any of that's helpful. Even if you disagree with it politically, even if you don't care for that stuff, you've got to look at the reality of it and you've got to do something about it. That's the way I see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even that is still happening, like, if they say the temperatures could rise by one degree this century, that's a disaster. Scientifically, like, that's a disaster if the average temperatures rise by one degree centigrade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But to most people, they're like, fuck it, one degree, 2100, I wouldn't be alive, you know? It's like, it's easy to put that from your mind, you're right. If there was a comet that was on a collision course with her, guarantee you people would be doing shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And say, look, it's melting. People are like, well I don't live there. I mean, it feels like a billion miles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are very popular, I've watched a thing about old nuclear silos. So a lot of the nuclear arsenal of the United States, when it's time is up or they decommission it or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, you buy a condo. Like, you don't buy the whole thing. You have like an apartment underground and other people are there too. Now, what I think is interesting is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not murderers. They're not gonna steal your shit. There are assholes out there. But I feel like the reason it affects people so deeply when something gets stolen, or they get beaten up, or god forbid someone in their family gets killed or whatever, it affects you because it's not typical. In this country at least. I mean there are countries where it is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fairly commonplace, but even then the murder rate is, it looks terrifying. It's like 20 people per 100,000 or something is high, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for you it's like the organized factory style, life comes in, food comes out that you find unsettling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I disagree. Anything that you can buy in a shop is mass produced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, look at that guy that, uh, what was his name? He's like an incel hero. He was that, that guy that shot those girls. Uh, he was English American. I can't remember his name. Yeah, they like fucking memorialize this guy. I don't want to say his name. I can't even remember it. Who fucking cares?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the serial killers sending in letters to the, to the press like mocking them. They fucking, they love it. It's all a massive ego thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just crazy, man, it's crazy. Oh, I've got a new- a new prison thing talking about serial killers, this reminds me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a, there's a TV show at the moment in the UK on Channel 4 called Crime and Punishment, and it's about Winchester prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they haven't mentioned jogging, but there was a new one that I saw called potting. Oh, right. Sounds better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's where you get your poo and wee pot and chuck it on people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, hugging. We do potting, jugging, hugging. That's the one. Honestly. We have a hugging tier on Triforce. We don't actually hug you, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want it to be a slow grind. Slow. Very slow. An old lady shuffles in, spits on her hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Lewis from that conversation, I can guess rehabilitation, not really something you're looking for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you're right, but we have very bad prisons. Like our approach to crime and punishment is very, very sort of Victorian and everything that was before it. Which is, you did something bad, you are a bad person, we are now going to grind you up into a sausage while pouring pee and poo on your head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the idea is it's meant to be so unpleasant that you say, I won't break the law because I'm gonna do a formula on my head that says, crime plus payoff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People still break the law. So prison is not a deterrent. You either look at it from a deterrent perspective, which is we'll have more guns on the street, more cops and beat people up more and feed them in the sausage grinder. Or we say, why is this person breaking the law? What is broken about them? Can we fix it? And if not, then we can obviously lock them up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I don't, I don't know, if you look at some countries in the world, they're testing out this kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More progressive, uh, theory of prison. I don't know if it's work and forum. I'd need to read up about it, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're thinking, better to have a more exciting and interesting society, and terrifying prisoners, and horrible prisons. It keeps things interesting!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The detective shows are things like, Mrs. Pluble's pie was stolen from her windowsill. We must find out who stole the pie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, cuz my, my eldest is in year 6, she's gonna be moving up to secondary school next year. So in fact, I haven't been inside like a secondary school since I was in secondary school. Like it's just, it's uh, I have no idea what they're like nowadays. All I remember is what my school was like in the 80s and the early 90s. It was a fucking dump. It was like one of the best schools in Bournemouth and it was a dump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now, they've got like, Chromebooks in the computer lab, and they're like, their art area is like, beautiful, they've got like, a wonderful theatre, they have, it's just everything. Like, it's obviously, this is a nice area, so the schools are reasonably well funded, I hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but it's just, I just couldn't fucking believe it. It blew my mind. I was like, this school is amazing. And they've got, like, counselors on hand. Because you think about it, being a teenager fucking sucks. You can't always go to your parents with what you've got to, to worry about. So you, they've got school counselors full time working at the school. You go in,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, yes I am. And I know the head boy at a school. So that's a, that's a celeb that I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, so we did the tour, like the, we were in little groups, like three or four parents, and then two of the students would take you on the tour. And they were like 13 or whatever, and they were, I was like, damn, when I was 13, I'm sure I could barely speak, but they were like, this way is the science lab, and this is what we get taught, and these are our teachers, and they were like, properly showing us around. I was, I was super impressed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, you know what kids, well, well fucking done. Like seriously, they were really, really impressively mature. I was very surprised. I thought, I mean, if that had been me, I would have thought great. No school this morning. Fantastic. And done as little as possible, but they really tried. It was, it was very sweet and their schools were very impressive. Did take me back to how shit my school was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I said to the lads that took us around, I said, right boys, here's a question, because we're next to the chemistry lab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys still turn on the Bunsen burner and let enough gas out so it creates like a cloud of gas and then light it with a taper and blast your mates up? And they were like, oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure there's a safety system in place. Totally safe. It wouldn't give the kids gas and fire if they couldn't control the situation, I'm sure. I know sometimes when we were leaving the chemistry lab you leave all the gas taps on and then run out. That was the other thing we did. Christ. Head boy. I was not the head boy. Definitely not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only till I was eight. I mean, over here, I'm talking about the schools over here. I doubt, I mean, they don't give the kids fire and gas in the states that I know of. I would assume. They just give them, you know, give guns and stuff. But over here, they had prefects and all that shit. They were always the wankers. You know what I mean? Like the absolute wankers. They call them hall monitors in the states.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's an actress, she's pretty famous. She is currently dating my friend Ben Richardson, who was like one of my best friends growing up. We used to play Blood Bowl and fucking Warhammer games and paint miniatures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. I'm so impressed. Fuck no dude, he lives in Hollywood. He's like a movie director. He's a cinematographer or some shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gareth Malone is like multi-millionaire, director of the choir, and all this kind of shit. I've got a podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair, it's my Prime account, so it wouldn't really be... Prime myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sexually active. Well, most dogs are, I think, yeaah. Lassie was in heat, and, uh... Jesus. Yeaah. I thought Lassie was a boy. I thought Lassie was always a guy. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is cheating for all this, isn't it? Like, uh, everybody's going out and buying Tupperware containers to like sort out their shoes and everybody's getting back to the gym and stuff. It's like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I must don't throw away from a beach at any given moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're beautiful beaches. Beautiful. Huge. And uhm, they're like, they're like top, the top rated beaches in Europe, like they're the cleanest, they're the nicest and stuff. Am I ever down on that beach? Fuck no I'm not, okay? I don't like the beach at all. Like I, I don't get, I don't get what...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fascination is with the beach. The kind of smells, like the dried up seaweed fucking stinks. There's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's this big loud fucking box with like this stupid ass control panel on it. It's like the ultimate boomer technology. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, it's like this like space age appliance that like your, your parents, uh, first came across when they were like in their teens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's something that you would see like on Fallout with the fake like 50's inspired future and stuff. So yea, I'm sticking by it. It is a fucking boomer appliance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about all these new space age, um, threads and stuff that won't chafe your nipples when you're running and stuff? Like that's not boomer technology, that's like clearly zoomer technology. Imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The popcorn maker that melts the butter at the top of it, that's a boomer appliance. You know the fucking popcorn popper?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say those are probably less so, but they're, it's just like a, um, it's just like an upgrade to like the old, right? It's like, you know, like some of the newer microwaves have like, you know, like they're digital and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like I mean, I sort of basing this all on like, uh, like appliances that my mom had when I was young. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like experienced or cultured tourists or something like that. It's like, they kind of like hijack something that like other people would be into and enjoy, but they do it in a very shallow way, right? Like any big sort of like cultural movement, there's always been people like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying that going to the beach is a boomer thing, I'm just saying it's just messy and annoying, like especially when you take your kids and they're covered in sand and then you gotta come home and there's sand everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's next? What do you guys want to throw into room 101? What's your hate for the- I've had two, so you guys have to come up with one now. What do you hate that we can discuss and play devil's advocate and call each other booners and stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it just, it just is what it is, I guess. Like, some people just wanna watch that kind of stuff, and that's fair enough, you know? If that's what you wanna do, if you're happy doing it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like where's the home? Well, it's like kind of like YouTube. Uhm, I know YouTube now is like, like the focus on gaming is, has gone down a lot on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, yeaah. Yeaah, it's a weird one, isn't it? Like, there's no rhyme or reason to what kids will watch, though. Like, I've learned through having two kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's just, it's, it's bizarre, isn't it? It's impossible to, I mean, some people, I guess, just instinctively or, or have this knack for knowing like what is going to do well with kids or whatever. I'm hopeless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We never had that shit growing up, like cards, packs of cards were the only thing that you got where it was like, you might get doubles or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know what's inside, right? But there's no toys like that. I don't remember ever buying something like that where it was like, I don't know what I'm going to get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Within seconds of opening these things, they're just like done. It's like, okay, that one's just going to end up in the garbage next week or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. But Happy Meals, you kind of knew what you were going to get because it was a weekly thing with Happy Meals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think, I think that Happy Meals, the way they did it back then, it was like an incentive to get you back every week. Right. Right. Because it's like, okay, I got Mario this week, but next week's going to be Luigi. I have to get Luigi. So we're going to have to come back to McDonald's next week. So we get Luigi and stuff. It was always like on a weekly thing. I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinder eggs are very European. I don't think I ever had them in North America. I don't think, maybe they were around and I just never got them or whatever, but I don't remember them being around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my, my son, like, I don't think he's crazy about Spider-Man, you know? He knows who he is and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I remember people wearing Spider-Man Halloween costumes when I was like seven. Like, that's a long ass time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be interesting to find out which iteration of Spider-Man was the first to acquire a microwave. Just, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right away, I would be, I would go fucking nuclear. I hate that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just, that's just human nature, isn't it? Like it's, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the context for this though? Like was, was she having like a breakdown or, or she was on drugs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just interject on the subject of poop. Uhm, I told my wife about the human centipede. Oh no. Yeah, I just thought like, you know, she needs to know. What did she make of it? She was not impressed. No. She was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I told her this morning actually, uh, I was like, have you ever heard of this, the human centipede? She's like, no. I was like, okay, well let me explain it to you. I explained it to her based on what you guys told me last week. She was just like, well, thanks. I really didn't need that today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then she was like, so the second I just die straight away, I was like, well, yeah, I guess so. Cause like you would choke on your own vomit straight away, right? Like there's no way you're taking poop down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so uhm. Fuck it all. Thanks for- Sorry. Anyway. Yeah, anyway, I thought I just mentioned that quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when, on the day that they'd train me, I won't love them so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have this conversation again, sorry to interject. Go on. I've been playing Luigi's Mansion 3 a lot recently with my son. And you get to a point in the game where you can play co-op. And the co-op in that game is you, as Luigi, have a backpack full of goo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the goo can come out of the backpack and form Gooigi, who is like a green jelly version of you, but he can slip through bars and help you solve puzzles and stuff. So my son plays as Gooigi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doesn't get that we're both the same person effectively.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he thinks that like, if he collects the gems, they're just for him. And he's always confused as to why when the little cutscene plays, it's me picking up the gem or the key or whatever. And every time I'm like, I have to explain to him, we're the same person. Like we're on the same team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't exist without me. So that's why it always shows me picking up the key and stuff, even though I let him like go pick up the key cause he's always like, Oh, let me pick up this key. Like, you know, I worked really hard for it or whatever. I just, I just thought it was interesting anyway. Carry on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's an ego that prevents the mind from accepting some of this stuff. It could be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That warps the logic of your brain sometimes or shrouds the logic of your brain sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it wasn't that complex really, like, you know, just basically you're saying that like we're all the same people, everybody, we're all people and some of us just need more help than others, you know, like the stripping Miami airport woman who was probably on drugs, offered kids on drugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think it's kind of cool that you could just generate like even even a little bit of your own energy and you could just like put in a battery and just be like, yeah, I, you know, I didn't, I, I didn't make this, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mostly because I think it would be fun. Like it's just another step towards having a Wallace and Gromit house kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know, I know it really does, but like, cause we're probably gonna, I'm gonna get my loft done at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And while they're up there, you know, doing work on the roof and restructuring the roof and stuff like that, I thought might as well just slap some panels up there, you know, just get some fucking, just get some fucking panels up there and then just, you know, just get a wind turbine. They're very expensive. I don't want a wind turbine. I love wind turbines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm thinking, I get some solar panels, right? And then I'll get a battery, like I'll house a battery somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the house. And then, if I get an electric car, I can like charge up with some solar power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be fuckin' pretty cool, wouldn't it? Like, I just think I like that. That would be pretty cool. You know, yea, okay cool, it's environmentally friendly, but that's not my motivator, I'll be honest. Like, I just think it's fuckin' cool to charge up your own car with, uh, with your own panels. I just think that's- With your own sunlight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Making people feel bad all the time. I think it's like, let's make people feel good all the time. You want to do something that's really fucking cool? Yes, I do. Get some fucking solar panels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, so I was just wondering, I just wanted to get like a consensus from you guys, like I value your opinions to some extent, so I just thought, you know, I'll ask, I'll put it out there. It's approved, you get the stamp for approval. I'll put it out there. You know, they're gonna be doing the work up there anyway, they might just fucking put some panels up there, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, apparently, if you get enough panels and you can generate enough energy, you can actually sell it back to the grid. So I might have a little money maker on my hands here too, if you know what I mean. Just like set up my own, my own gas station, uh, in my house. Come charge up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's face it, if you go to the normal gas, that's a, that's a, that's a boomer establishment, isn't it? The gas station? I mean, come on. They haven't fucking changed at all, right? They still have those goddamn buckets with the squeegees in them and stuff and like, they always stink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most weekends, I have to take a trip up to the dump to take like, cause we recycle stuff, so like, you know, I take my cardboard and we have bottles and shit that needs to go up or whatever, and it's a solo endeavor. You know what I mean? I go up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got the radio on, I'm by myself, you know, like there's nobody else in the car, picking my nose and farting and stuff, I don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I lay next to my daughter's bed while she goes to sleep. I've always done it with my son as well. It's just a time where I just like to fart around on my iPad or whatever. So I lay on the ground next to their bed and then they just fall asleep. So I'm sitting there and I'm watching some stream or something and my nose was super itchy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might jam my finger like right up there. It was like really, really having like a good scratch and a good pick. Uh, but I have my headphones on and I was like unaware of my surroundings and I look up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She still brings me tea like, like she has done just now, so it can't be that bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hang on, so your idea is that everybody has a work at home business that involves cleaning a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This stuff has existed forever, like those people, you know, what is it, the people that you like lick stamps all day or whatever. What's the other one? Like you can do data inputting from home and stuff like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think people just stream and stuff now though, right? That's the new, I'm at home, I might as well do something, and then they just like, either do YouTube videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing I like the best about my garage though is that it's just me. Nobody else is out here or ever really bothers to come out here. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have to worry about uninvited guests or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There. Nice. Just in time. Good. Alright, bye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it kept locking up. It kept freezing. Midstream everything. And uhm, we were streaming yesterday, I was streaming with Terps and it was doing the same locking up and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So at first I thought it was my audio interface, and I think there were problems with the audio interface. I got a new one. And that seems fine now. And then I thought it was my graphics card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got a 2080 Ti and I was like, you know, this is a beast. How is this like breaking or not working or whatever? And then I sort of ruled out, nah, it's not that. Like it seemed fine. Every time the computer'd lock up and hear like this spinning up sound and like fans and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So at one point I didn't have my headphones on, okay? I'm at my computer with no headphones on. Just typing in email and then the thing locked up. And I could hear like, like a hard disk spinning up. Cause I have like, uh, storage disks, you know, just for like all my porn and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I've got SSDs for like, um, you know, games and whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think, well, maybe it's one of the hard disks, like, you know, maybe it's faulty or it's about to fail or whatever. Okay. So I'm streaming and then people in the, in the chat keep pointing out it's like 58 minutes, uh, intervals on the dot. And so I'm like, hang on, that's, that can't be right. That's not, there's no coincidence. That's like, that's something like messages from alien.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it's like, it's like, it's gotta be something like, like in the window scheduler or like, you know, power saving options or something like that, right? Like, you know, for something to happen like that regularly and consistently. So I look in the power saving options. I've got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's crazy, right? So it's on high performance, which means that nothing should ever try to sleep or hibernate or anything, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It should just be on, going like full fucking tilt, like you know, just, just going like crazy the whole time, right? This is a powerful new PC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I look under hard disks and it's set to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity. For 20, like every 20 minutes. So it wasn't even working properly. It wasn't doing it every 20 minutes. It was doing it like every hour. So I set that setting to never. Boom. Fixed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terps have paid good money for all of these Pentiums.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Triforce Podcast once again bringing the realness and the rawness to the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a stream, Bill. Okay? We can't all sit around on our luxury yacht because we revolutionized the home PC market. Okay, Bill? We don't all have that luxury. Some of us have to do a little thing called work for a living.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of those things that you just don't give a fuck about when it's working at all, right? But the moment it stops working, all of a sudden you're like acutely aware of how shit it is. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I won't be doing that, but you know like how sometimes people speak about like, I wasn't meant to be born in this day and age, like I should have been born in a previous one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh man. So think about that, Bill. Hey, when you're designing your next fucking little, little Windows operating system or whatever, take that one into account for no specific reason, but go fuck yourself as well at the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the catalyst for all of these guys, like, you know, like, uh, a lot of, a lot of Hollywood people, their kids sort of, you know, watching YouTubers and streamers and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we went outside a lot last time I went on vacation, which is not something I would normally really do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I do actually, yeah. Oh man, well, it's weird because my-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My son is- is- doesn't do what your daughter does in the- in the sense of pretending that he's making YouTube videos. He likes YouTube a lot. He likes watching people playing Minecraft especially. He's like, you know, he likes that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, we, we make them read a lot as well because we're, we're, we're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scared that he's just gonna become like a screen zombie, you know, like a lot of kids become sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We make sure that he does a lot, so he's really into like, uhm, well now he's really into like Roald Dahl books, which is great, uh, and he gets, uh, he gets the Beano every week as well, which is like, you know, like a comic magazine that comes out weekly in the UK.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's weird with Dennis the Menace because they were both, uh, the American one and the British one, uh, both came out at the exact same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The exact same time they both came out. Uhm, so anyway, he gets the Beano, and what we're finding he's doing now is he's making his own comics. Like he's- Holy shit! March the 12th, 1951? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird, eh? What the fuck? So he's like, he's like got his own brand and he's like writing his own comics and they're, they're pretty good. Like he's seven, right? Like he's making his own comics. So we got him this like, uh, we got him some comic paper. It's just like blank paper with boxes on it already, like ready to go sort of thing so that he can make better comics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's great though, it's so good, cause he just fucking goes nuts and he just makes these long comics and stuff and it's really, really nice to see, like, that he's not just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he made a joke the other day. He's like, what, what is the worst? Uh, what is the worst day of the week for a chip? I was like, I don't know. He's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll take that. No, that's good stuff. Yeah. So he's like, so I think it's great. I think he's drawing a lot. He's like, you know, he's coming up with like ideas for comics and stuff. And I just think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and before that it was like wearing a skirt that exposed your ankles and stuff too, like daily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they're not even going to. It's gonna be all like synth drugs. Flax. It's gonna be like spice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is happening now though. People are, are, are like, you know, getting their kids into, you know, big, big streaming games and stuff like that. And then kind of getting them to become YouTubers or streamers as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, but it's not, it's not designed for you to be though. You know, it's, you're not the target demographic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't stand it. My big problem is that I've forgotten how to have fun. So like when I hear other people having fun, it makes me want to physically be sick. Um, and I try to avoid- Stop having fun in there!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, the excuses kids have come up with to not go to bed though, right? Yeah, no, for real. I can't sleep, I'm too. My son couldn't sleep last night because he was worried about ghost ships. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did she bring you back more money than she left with? Cause that's an important thing to accomplish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know you're listening right now, next time you go to Vegas, you gotta get your gamble on. Just throw some money away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, your body's a temple flax. If you're gonna fill it with garbage, you're gonna have a garbage body. That's how temples work. What an eloquent way of saying it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's human nature though, isn't it? Like you always like, you always expect somebody to somehow be naked or wanting to have sex with you, right? Well I do, but I don't think it's normal. I think it is though. I feel the same way and that's two of us so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very unsettling thing though, isn't it? To know that potentially somebody has been in your place, but like they haven't done anything, right? Like they haven't like, you know, most burglars would just like ransack your place, steal the jewelry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leave the taps running or whatever as a call sign and then, you know, they would, they would leave. But like, a serial killer would break in and just like leave like a pub tape to like your mirror or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time I move into a new place, I always change the locks. I'm paranoid about stuff like that. I wouldn't say I'm OCD about it, but I am concerned that somebody out there might have a key to my house and you know what? It's not even that I worry about the stuff in my house so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just don't want to like, wake up in the middle of the night and somebody be standing in my bedroom, like, looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, like, I don't know why you would be scared of a ghost ship, because what's a ghost ship realistically gonna do to you? Do you know? No, I'm, well, that's why I'm speculating right now, like, I'm going through the logical possibilities of what a ghost ship could


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that the ghost ship is anchored at sea, right? Because the laws of ghosts is that you have to sort of be in and around where you died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what we need though. Like just to like, you know, spruce it up a little bit, not be so, you know, depressing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Such a good business man. That's it, that's it. The key there is to have people that you pay money to to do the stuff for you. Like I've been watching uhm, oh, do you know what's back? Great British Bake Off. Gamora Season 4 just started and holy shit it's so good. Man, have you guys watched? What has? Have you guys watched Gamora yet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I watched the movie. It's about the Mafia and Naples. That's right. The TV series is like fucking amazing, by the way. It's amazing. You have to watch it. It's so good. It's on Sky, I think. It's called Gamora.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Season 4 just started in the UK last night. It was just made available last night in its entirety on, uh, NOW TV. So, uh. Is it subtitles? Yes, it's subtitled, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, it's not dubbed or it's just subtitled. It's really awesome. It's really good. Okay, I'll check it out. A lot of it is based on reality, too. A lot of the, uhm, like, storylines in it are based loosely off of stuff that's actually happened. Like, it's insane. The fucking Kamora is nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of uh, they control a lot of infrastructure too, surprisingly. Uhm, like in Naples, I think most of the garbage disposal for the city is mafia controlled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's insane. I'm pretty sure that they traced back some of their investments to like the original World Trade Center and everything. Like it's just, yeah, it's, it's, it's really worldwide like, and, uh, and frightening that it's so organized. It's, it's just nuts, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The series is awesome, really worth watching, I highly recommend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I do. Funnily enough, I didn't like McMafia that much. It was, it was alright, but uhm. What's McMafia? It was a, it was a series on BBC drama series called McMafia. How do I not know all this shit? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Gamora's really good though. Totally watch it. It's really, really nice one. I don't know, it's like gritty, it's gritty as fuck. It's like, uh, like the wire gritty, you know? Like, it's really good. Yeah, it's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say this a lot, but like, sometimes I feel like I'm in a gaming rut, but I don't know if I am actually. I've been enjoying games, but just not like the right games, if you know what I mean. You know, like, I definitely have-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, I feel like I was like that with Chernobyl, like the TV show. I feel like I want to watch something else as good as that, but what is there? Like it was just so fucking good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, cool. That sounds really good. I still haven't read the, uh, the new Red Rising book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they, they see the same things over and over and over again and so, and so they apply that to like any, any future situations that they encounter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is kind of like a good thing but also a bad thing at the same time, right? Because it means that they start profiling and stereotyping more so than they would. And as a result become probably unjust in some cases, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll, they'll pull somebody over and they're like, this has all of the ingredients for something I've seen before. And the person will just not fit the description, but they'll force it. They'll force the issue. Cause they're like, sure that this is like, this is wrong because they've seen it before or whatever. Yeaah. They know something's wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really their job to deal with things that are presented to them like, uh, like unbiased in a way, right? Like they, they should, they should be, but that a bias definitely develops like over the time doing a job like that, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, they're not, they're trying to get away with it, but primarily they are, um, like feeding a unfamiliar impulse, I would say. It's like, it's not something that you would ever consider, you know, like that's why like, you know, like Jeffrey Dahmer kept like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially if they, especially if they have a dungeon filled with trophies and stuff as well, cause then they're like even more so like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think I, especially in America, like, um, you should never speak to a policeman without, uh, like a lawyer, right? Like that's, that's like the number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you don't want to escalate, but at the same time, like if they, if they, if they say, can you come into the station and just like, uh, answer a couple of questions first or whatever, like always take your lawyer. Never fucking go in there by yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but you might start off with nothing in there and they're like, well, look what we found here. That wasn't in my car. Well, yeah, it was. We just found it. And they planted like a brick of cocaine in your trunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so this is where the family would get together around the, the, the shared whipping post. And they would all whip each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you! Thanks everyone! Bye! Goodbye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guarantee you that people are doing far more DIY than they would have normally because I have several of the guys I hang out with on Discord are saying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That all they can hear from their neighbors is like hammering and drilling, so I thought...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I felt the same thing. But then I'm like, you know, Tarkov is entertaining me. When I get bored of that, there's been a new expansion for Stellaris. Hold on, there's someone at the door. I'll be back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello. Hello. It was a delivery driver and he left the parcel on the doorstep and ran away. Nice. Which I understand. Uhm, it's my birthday on Sunday. Right. So I think Mrs. Efford ordered something for my birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm going to pretend that I didn't look inside, but it's like, uh, it says it's a bar in a box. I don't know what that means. So I guess you open it up and it's like a mini, it looks like a little bar and she can certainly drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. Microbar of radioactive material. This is on the back of the books. Do not open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm giving them home learning and stuff like I've been, uh, in the evenings when I'm, when I start streaming, they've been, or in the afternoons, they've been bringing up the essays that I make them write in the morning and I've been reading them and stuff and they've been quite good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mr. Dad, you may call me Dad if you want, uh, I will be your substitute teacher for the foreseeable as we are having to remain indoors. Uhm, yeaah, so please get out a pen and a piece of paper and write me an essay about, and then I'll have to come up with a subject.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I've been like, right, what about, uh, iCarly? Cause my youngest had been watching that. So I was like, tell me about iCarly, write about that show. And she's, so she wrote me an essay about iCarly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, my eldest wrote one about Pokemon today. I haven't read it yet. And, uh, yeah, I just make them write essays about stuff just to get them used to the idea of thinking about something, putting it on a piece of paper, practicing handwriting, spelling. And then we've got these exercise books, um, that Mrs. F ordered online that are things like maths and English challenges and things, um, just practice grammar and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's important they stay in touch with their brains, rather than what they want to do, which is lie on their sofa and watch the iPad all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're saying put them to work as a, as a sort of ad hoc child labor trading floor. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know a friend of mine did uhm, he works in banking and stuff, and he said that every year there'll be like a big tuha about who the trader of the year is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it'll be some guy who's made like 5 billion dollars in-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, buy, buy, buy high, sell as low as possible. Right? No, that may sound counterintuitive, but someone's doing it. Someone's definitely doing it. Because if I'm selling when it's high, someone's buying it when it's high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why they go low. Yeah. I mean, cause it's always surprising when they say buy low sell high that it can't, like some people must be thinking this is going to keep going up. So they buy it high and then it crashes and they lose money. But some, some guys made money and then maybe next time he'll be the one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I've read all this stuff saying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This re- this, uh, coronavirus represents an outstanding opportunity for the money-making and shareholding, uh, investment, uh, portfolio entrepreneur guy, uh, because, uh, this is- represents a- what's called a bargain. All these, uh, these prices have crashed. Now is the time to invest. And I'm thinking, are they saying that because they want to drive the price up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they're like, great, another crisis, awesome, prices are gonna nose dive, we'll buy low, and then everything will recover and we'll make a shitload of money. They must all be thinking that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, because it's too late, it's too late by that point. Missed out on the profit window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a pension, don't you? Whatever the state pension is, that's what I've got. I haven't worked for 10 years, and I never had a steady job, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, you know, I haven't been paying into a pension fund, I should've.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I wanna, I wanna be able to leave the house to someone rather than just sell it. Like those bastards on the nationwide ads that I was talking about. The ones who talk about fucking equity in their houses, right? I don't wanna be that old fart who's like, we decided to fuck our kid's future up even more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By drawing down the equity, so some bank owns most of our house, and then we can spunk it on a mobile home and fuck off to Spain for a couple of years. I don't wanna be that guy, right? I wanna be financially solvent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think you're missing the whole point of inherited wealth, which is that without it, you're in the same position as a lot of very poor people out there who, and a lot of demographic groups who have no inherited wealth. Like if you die and leave your kids nothing, there's been like the whole point of being a parent is that you want your kids to be better off than you were. That's the whole point. You want it to be better for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a- that's great. I think what I'll do is I wi- I will leave them something, but maybe they have to follow an international trail of clues and puzzles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it called? National Treasure with Nick Cage?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, it's a lot, it's a lot of, it's a big chunk, because the whole point is if someone earns that money and just leaves it to some idiot, then that money is entrenched potentially in a line of idiots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was, there was a bill called an acre and a mule and the plan was, or a hundred acres and a mule or something like that, the plan was post emancipation because they realised that essentially, like there's a really famous cartoon that illustrates this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's a bunch of people trying to watch a race, right? Or trying to run in a race.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And imagine if some people started on the start line and other people started right near the finish and claimed, oh, what do you mean? It's a fair race. Just get on with it. You know, everybody's, everybody's got in the same boat. If I start with a hundred billion dollar assets, I'm not running the same race as someone else. So that's an extreme example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you imagine, black slaves have just been freed in North America. And they're told, you're free. There you go, get on with it. Catch up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've already got people that have been living there that are inheriting things like farms and houses and money and pu- from their parents. So when you hand that down generation to generation, the other generation doesn't get a chance to catch up because shit's already owned. Like this idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes this is, so pay attention. So they had a chance to give reparations to the freed slaves of giving them some land and some, some livestock to get started on a farm. Because that way, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sips is poking me right now. Listen to me, you two, both of you right now. If you can't sort this out and enjoy this lesson, or at least endure it, I'm gonna do this again tomorrow. And you're gonna have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool, what were you gonna do? Uh, I had other plans. Okay, well that cancelled as well. You can come and see me after school, you can spend a couple of hours helping me tidy up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The teachers aren't other prisoners. They're not just picking on Sips. He was just sitting there mining his bits. You just don't remember what you were doing. You were probably doing something really stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to school, I know, there were a lot of teachers that were absolute pricks, but they wouldn't just kick him out for nothing. He'd literally sit in there quietly getting on with his work, because here's the thing, you're saying the teacher's authority is that everyone listens, if you're not doing anything and they arbitrarily throw you out, they've lost respect and people will rebel. You must have been doing something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So ju-just for anyone that went to Bournemouth School, I know there are a few listeners out there that went to Bournemouth School, Mr. Hawkins, who was still teaching until fairly recently when he died, Mr. Hawkins...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was the guy. He was still at the school, I'm sure, when some of you out there listening were at Bournemouth School. He was the guy that would wander around and say, and what are you out here for? And he'd say, uhm, I was talking in class. Ah, three, two, one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh good, I get to punish them. This will, this will put them back in line. Like it was, it was, he'd been doing it for so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he'd say what, and what were you boys doing? And you'd always confess. So he was the cop who says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you mind if I search the car? Oh yeah, go for it. And you've got a ton of weed under the backseat. He's that cop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But more importantly, that you don't have anything to hand on. Like, if you never get out of a situation where you're essentially in debt. Like, the only reason we were able to buy the house we live in now is because Mrs. F's grandmother left her some money when she died. And that gave us enough for a deposit. Now, if we weren't in that situation, we wouldn't have been able to buy a house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, you're completely right. And, and uh, I mean, I'm sure there will be some people who disagree and think it's other factors and all the rest of it, but you can't ignore that factor. It is a big factor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it explains a lot is like generational poverty is a, is a real thing. And the idea that, oh, you're just going to pull up your bootstraps. Not everyone that is born into generational. I mean, it's also a thing like, let's say I was born into a family that had,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An unemployed father and an unemployed brothers and I'm born and I am also unemployed and then I have kids and they're unemployed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where does that cycle break? You know what I mean? It's a real problem and it becomes a sort of an endemic and that's the issue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's not. I'll tell you why. We dog-proofed the downstairs. The rest of the house is not dog-proofed. She was eating the cat's food out of a bowl. The cat beat the hell out of her this morning when they met at the top of the stairs and I thought, well, that'll put her off. And now here she is in my office. What are you doing here, lovely girl? You're not meant to be here. No, you're not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a chart, a stair gate downstairs, we're gonna have to deploy the stair gate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is relaxing, listening to your soothing voice and petting my dog. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ever since the turn of the century, I think things have been getting progressively sort of crap and aggressive and everybody seems to beat each other's throats all the time and I'm thinking, what has changed that's made us this way? Everything seems like, I never used to be anxious, things used to be pretty chill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, it always comes back to esports, don't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Six months of meditation, everything. He's like, you fuck, I've been in a fucking line for three fucking hours with this fucking form that took me five fucking hours to fill out. Like he just went completely nuts. Like he just melted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The trip has not been cancelled. The event is going on. I was gonna go to Starladder in Kiev, and I was meant to be there right now. I should physically be in Kiev. Had things gone differently, I would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I should have been doing that, but uhm, you know, coronavirus and everything, I thought, my thing is not, I don't want to catch it there, which is like a relatively minor chance of that happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what if on the flight, you know, you want to get your flight back and they're like, Britain in a state of lockdown. And you're like, okay, so now I can't get in. Some guy on the plane has it. And so they quarantine the entire plane. Two weeks in a quarantine. I was just like, it's not worth it. It's not worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would suck, but this was like the more likely and scary thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if there's, if there's drying involved. Like I've never used a bidet. Ever. Because we just don't have them in the UK. And when I go abroad, I don't really know how to use


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, is there like, do you just use a hairdryer to dry your hair?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, like you said, I'm sure in Japan they have one that, you know, gently blows, it whispers at your butt until it's dry. Positive message.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so here's a question. I went out last night, I'm a little bit hungover today, went out to see my mates and we went to a gig, so like a comedian, and uhm, when I travelled there, I said to my mates, like we're all saying hello,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I was like, you know, I saw, I tried, I relayed to them something I'd seen on the underground that horrified me. They didn't care at all. What I saw was everybody holding on to the little poles, the poles you use on the underground, right? Just holding on to them casually with their bare hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Now I never do that because you're, the average person holds on at the same point on the poll as everybody else does. Everybody gets on and holds on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why we had to take such offence to the masks. Cause apparently, like, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you touch that pole, right? But would you put your hand on, like someone had just sneezed and went to shake your hand, you wouldn't shake their hand. Why are you putting your hand on the pole? It's not clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, I haven't had a sick day in 10 years, so you tell me. I said, yeah, but you're riding the line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People touching the uh, the escalator little, the rubber thing on the escalator, which looks like it's teeming with germs already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, my dad, um, when he buys a canned drink from the store, he would wash the top of the can. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also, yeaah, I also, when I'm moving around in town, I use a zorb. One of those giant...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember watching, uh, this guy tried to do the world record for, like, length of Zorb, like how long he rolled down this big hill in the Zorb, and he was like, he had a GoPro in there. He was, he got in the Zorb and he was like, I'm very experienced Zorber, don't try this at home, we've cleared this area, it's a good long...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's just like, you know, it's gathering speed, so each bounce is getting bigger. And the g-force inside is getting greater and greater every time the zorb lands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Round the campfire, Lewis with all his zorbing horror stories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna, I'm gonna tell you, Paul McCartney is astrally projecting himself into your dreams because he stopped listening. Why aren't you listening anymore, Chris?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I only got, for instance, last night I got a 79 on Fitbit for my sleep. 79. That's not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wear my Fitbit when I'm sleeping. Right. Because I like to see how my sleep has been. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, but uh, yeaah, so 79 for me is not good. I woke up a tonne during the night. I suspect because I had quite a lot to drink and it disturbs, uh, your sleep. I was awake for an hour and two minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you wake up without realising it all through the night, alright? Just for a minute or two at a time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're, um, so you've got the three stages. You've got deep sleep, light sleep, and REM. Okay? Right. And generally sleeping, generally sleeping, generally speaking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go BAM straight into deep sleep. It's deep light, deep light, deep light. And then you get into our REM later in the night. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, y-you don't really dream in the early stages of your sleep, which is why when you wake up in the middle of the night, you have no idea what time it is, there's no point of reference, you know, you're not in the middle of a dream, and then wake up for it, it's only, it's, it's, once you get into 3, 4am,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's when you sort of get into REM and that's when you have like nightmares and things like that and regular dreams. And then that's why you often are dreaming just before you wake up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you're in REM sleep at that point. Leading into you waking up. But it's interesting to look at. I just recently, uhm, I upped my prescription for my brain pills. They doubled the dose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, so it's, it's, uh, my, my doctor is awesome by the way. She's, she's awesome. Yeah. Um, and she said to me, one of the things- Is that the brain pill?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said the other thing we can do is give you some kind of counselling, but it'll be like a group session, and my face immediately fell, cause your idea of talking to strangers about this or mingling with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It disgusts me. And she saw that and she said, it is basically like a lecture. She said that you don't have to talk, you just sit there and they just talk to you about this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, that sounds terrible. Don't sign me up for that. And she was like, okay, I won't. I'll just give you more brain pills. Give you brain pills. Who wants to go to a fucking lecture?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well actually, we're just five good friends and SHUT UP! You know, yea, you can't. But so he-he-he would interact with the audience, he asked someone a question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She'd actually shouted P-Town, which is like Preston. P-Town is what they call it. P-Town! That's like a very American thing. I thought she said P-Town, which is weird. And then the set continued and he like made a couple of other references. But he was not funny. Like I literally did not laugh once. It was one of the worst gigs I've ever been to in terms of the comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My friends and I have a WhatsApp group. I don't know how much they would be comfortable with me giving away. So I'm going to maintain some level of secrecy about this. But we basically go on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's definitely a pub involved, generally. We'll meet at the pub, and we'll have a meal, and then we'll go do it. It's a real middle-aged thing to do, I think. But I wish we'd been doing it earlier, because we're just random things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a talk or something like that, you know? Or like a gig for a band that perhaps we're not that familiar with. Or a comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it was mainly a nice chance to chat to the boys and have a few bits, which was, uh, which was great. But it's interesting, I think it's a nice approach that there's no judgement about it. Even if we review it, you know, after saying I thought that was shit, I would never say, I'm never doing this again. You know what I mean? Or I would, I would flame the person responsible, uh, for booking it, although it was a poor choice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know exactly what it's gonna be. It's gonna be someone who I might describe as a hippie type, right? Standing up there, they probably think crystals have power and that molecules have memories. That's what I'm imagining they're gonna be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not re- respect this person's opinions about anything at all. Because I- to me,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The brain is just, it's just a chemical imbalance. That's what all this stuff is. You can struggle to do mindfulness when you like yourself, but there are some things I've been doing with breathing to sort of help control the panic attacks. But to me, I'm saying if it works for you, it works for you. But to me, if, if I think it's at all pseudoscience-y, I'm oot. And it will not work. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's actual hitnessism going on and you drool and watch Netflix. Netflix and drool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but you're listing two things that are specifically not random and actually make logical sense, and you're then throwing in a third thing, and you're just going,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a name I have not thought about in a while. What is Ricky Lake up to these days?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's 51, she looks fantastic. She looks fantastic. Well done, Ricky Lake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Years of depression, weight loss, pregnancy, and the use of chemicals in her hair that dated back to her work in hairspray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said during the filming, she said, uhm, I went from hairspray to hairless. That's terrible. Poor Ricky Lake. God, now I'm really bummed out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing that's helped me the most, and I don't know if anyone else has panicky episodes like this, the reason I control my breathing is not for some spiritual reason, but because your body responds to, your mind responds to what your body's doing. It's like a vicious cycle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So your brain panics, it makes your body do things that you don't want like heart going up and your breathing starts to accelerate and then you start to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can hyperventilate and you get too much oxygen and it makes your limbs go numb if you're breathing too much and you notice that you're doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what you do is you take one deep breath in, and you hold it for four seconds, full four seconds, and then you breathe out again, and then you wait, and then you do, keep doing that until you calm down. And that really, really fucking helped me. But that's not some mystical shit. That's scientific. That just makes sense. To me that's like, I understand why this works, and the science behind it backs it up. And it's effective.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like fucking, like, like John Wayne. Like Robert De Niro. Yeah. And I noticed that I tensed up muscles in my shoulder and my upper back and everything. Uhm, I mean when you're as swole as I am, you know, you could hurt someone tensing those muscles. That's it, yeaah, one flex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I was watching, I watched the other day, me and, like, uh, channel four, film four, uh, is a good shout for movies that would have been blockbusters in their day, but they chuck them on at like five, six o'clock in the afternoon now, nobody gives a shit. Die Hard 2, prime example. Shit. Commando, prime example, right? So, me and Mrs. F have been watching these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I try not to get too nostalgic, because I think it's a really bad thing to do. You see a lot of people saying, I don't make movies like this anymore, as if there's no good movies, and yea, they don't make them like that anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just your subconscious, it's just, it's just bored. I think your brain is just bored when you're asleep and just goes like, ugh, digs back in its spilling cabinet of memories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Lewis, did you find out whether Ben knows the rules to Starfleet battles? Oh, should I see if he's in today? No, no, no, you don't need to because he sent a tweet. Someone said, someone said on Twitter, do you know the rules? And he replied,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The show is trying to speak right now, come on. So, Starfleet Battles, Lewis said, I don't know the rules to that. Bring it down next time you come down to Bristol. I said, I'm not being funny, Lewis, but the rule book is like, it's like three volume, it's like a legal document. It's like, you know, it's like, cause 14 AB, 14.117 and all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was a guy there and he's like, do you want to play Starfleet Battles? And Ben was like, well, I've never played. He's like, don't worry. I'll, you know, I'll show you the ropes. The guy gives him like a rough, a rough sort of overview of the rules. They sit down to play and the first thing he had to do is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ben forgot to allocate any energy to life support. So the turn starts and the guy says, right, you haven't allocated any energy to life support. And Ben's like, oh, yeah, sorry. And the guy's like, so yeah, all your crew is dead. And Ben was like, okay, can we just like, and the guy's like, no, no, that's it, game over, sorry, I win. And Ben was like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like anybody sees every single game, like when I- I know Ben's philosophy about games is basically the same as mine, which is that I don't really play thinking I have to win. I try to win and I want to- No, you want to have a fun game, right? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The more fun the game is, the better. Like if you're playing Dungeons and Dragons, or you're playing a board game with friends, it doesn't work if you don't play to win. Like you have to try and play the best you can. But the idea that I'm gonna destroy fun to make winning more likely to me,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is bullshit. Like the idea of saying to Ben, getting all the games so we get on the pieces, getting everything ready and then going, well, you didn't allocate life support game over. It's like, all right, so you don't actually want to play, you just want the W. Like that's all that you want. You don't enjoy the playing of the game, you only enjoy the winning. That's that guy's attitude in a nutshell. Whereas I feel like when I play games with Ben,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a laugh and he can, he'll say, oh yeaah yeaah, don't do that, you know, and he'll help out and stuff like that. Which is the right way to play games, I think, to play them to win, but the winning is not, for me, the best part of playing the games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my, uh, my youngest at the moment is obsessed with the idea of making board games. And she makes these board games and they're terrible. But she, I have to play them because she gets really upset if I just say, no, that looks shit. So she'll say, I've made a game. Will you play it with me? And I'm like, yeah, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the track, and then you build the game around that. And there's really only so much you can do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With just a track, and a dice, and two counters. So I was like, why don't you think of a cool idea for a game, and then we'll build it, like, properly, and you know, it'll be good. I said, look at the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a bad example. Think of Carcassonne, which we play sometimes. We play Carcassonne. I said that's interesting because- I play Carcassonne this week. Because there's a random element to Carcassonne of what tile you draw, but the strategy is where you place it. I said any game-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can. But I said to her the fun of it is that you have some choice. I said the problem with your games is that it's one track.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're, whether you win or lose is entirely down to the dice roll. I said, so it's not really a game of, of skill or anything, there's no fun. It's just rolling a dice and seeing what you land on. But because she's made it, she wants to play it. And I play it and I say to her, look, why don't we come up with an idea for a game and then we'll make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, alright, alright, so here's the thing. Lizzie Maggie developed what was essentially the Landlord's Game, okay? That was self-published beginning in 1906. So this guy...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Darrow, Charles Darrow, he was the one who wrote Monopoly, based on Lizzie Maggie's original creation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the game of Monopoly was made by Charles Darrow, but it was based on Lizzie Maggie's game, The Landlord's Game. So that's what it was. I knew it was a dude behind Monopoly, but Liz Maggie, she came up with the original idea for a game that Monopoly was based on. In. Your.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The universe board game Block War. It's a fantastic game. You have two tower blocks and you have to destroy the other player's block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, honestly, it's so much fun. And it's got all the, all your favorite Mega City 1 characters. Like, uh, the City Death Force and the, all the crazies and all the rest of it. Nice. Uh, it's great. It's fantastic. It's a great game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember what I was watching recently and they said like, it's very unusual for a company to last longer than 40 years. Like even a company that's very successful, they get about 40 years and then it just starts to go to shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they also are reluctant to get into a new market or a new idea that could actually help. Kodak is a good example of that, right? Kodak, huge name for years and now nobody knows Kodak, like they're basically...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, it's just like- Film and stuff is just- Digital film came along, they did not jump into it the way they needed to. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they were used to making physical products. So the limitations of what a company...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it could, we could be talking blockbusters and chill, but we're not. And it's just, I just think it's incredible really that these huge mammoth companies like you say that's such a big name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey guys. Well, look, it's just a little thing. I don't know, it gets me in the mood. You know, you gotta psych yourself up for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's part of the language to speak with. It's part of the, part of the, the, the, the vigor of that, that passion, you know, you have to do it as well, or else you don't get the message across. Honestly, words are not enough. If you could supplement them with hand gestures and like, pictures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, graphs, great, I'm down. I think we should all be more willing to do presentations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder how many times, like, people have got the wrong idea from words and it's led to, like, bad stuff to happen, you know? Cause it's not, it's never clear. Like, I watched, um, 1917 yesterday, which is, um, was it good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I guess you've heard that it's shot in one shot, that's the idea. And that kind of really enhances the movie, actually. It makes it feel a lot like Mad Max Fury Road or something like that, in that there's this constant thing going on. You know, it's always, it's like a roller coaster. Which is how I think movies should be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One stop, one throw, one action, shot in one shot. I think it's, well, I just feel very strongly that it suits the medium well. You could do other stuff too, but I think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I remember like rental VHS's, you used to have to, if you were a rental shop, you had to buy a rental VHS and it was like a hundred quid or something like that. And so it was quite an expensive like, um, I guess it stopped the shops from like just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the novelty wears off quick, but I think the psychology of that is actually really powerful, that the whole going to some physical place and putting your tape in the mailbox and then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, like for me, for me, it's been about like looking at top lists, like top 10 lists of movies, top 10 lists of like, um, top 10 lists of games, but also like some other like top two lists of like books and things like this. And I've been sort of working my way down these lists and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've actually found a lot of joy out of that, like, just sort of ticking off, like, okay, there's these top five sci-fi books that I've never read, you know, and I've been going through them, and some of them are fucking super out of date. So, Bottega's still available, second edition. Big inspiration, I'm actually reading these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This very retro thing VHS is that I remember, one thing I remember is that they would sometimes get a little bit, you know, glitchy and blurry and sort of, you know, like that classic thing when a bit's coming up where there's either a bit of nudity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, do you know what that, that sounds like such a trendy man thing to do, right? Like you can see a guy with his walkman, like getting the tape out and then getting a pencil out and just walking along the street, like rewinding it slowly. Like that's such a, it's, it's that physical, again, it's that physical like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like action. It's part of the reason why Tom and Barry like still smoke, right? And I'm like, why do you, why do you smoke? You know, come on, it's 2020, like no one is smoking now, like vape or something. I don't know, like get with the times. And they're like, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's why board games in person are so much more better than them digital, you know, because I don't know, like it's hard for a game to even replicate that action of rolling a dice and satisfaction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I think when you're truck- I-I-I assume, I don't know, I've never had to do a long-haul trucking, but sometimes I think when you're driving along a straight road for 12 hours or whatever in America, you're just gonna wanna be like, fuck it, what would happen if I just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think people would do, but I think they'd get that stupid little idea in the, in the, in their head of what would it be like? You know? Sure. And what would happen? Probably shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It always reminds me of that, I can't remember that quote. Someone, actually someone famous is much smarter than me and I always, I remember the quote, but it was, it was that sort of, you know, mankind advances by providing safe outlets for their animal urges, you know, so, so, you know, like violent video games are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, comparatively it is though, really. It provides like, you know, a way to get your frustrations out. You know, people are raging at Dark Souls and not raging at their mum, or I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I love it. I, I, do you know what, like part of, I mean, I'm terrified about, you know, this stuff as much as anyone is and it's very serious and you should be careful, blah, blah, blah, but I do think it's like a little bit of a tingle of like excitement that like people are, you know, there's zombie viruses out there, you know, I can see why people are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not even like eating a rat's ass, it's like having, like, on the counter of a convenience store, you know, it's like a little impulse buy, a whole tray full of like, deer, deer heads or whatever, do you know what I mean, like fucking, or like deer livers, it's like weird fucking shit, like, oh yea, just pick up a snack pack of 15 deer livers, like, what the fuck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've got this big, like, um, fridge, um, and, well, half the, like, the menu's in Chinese, so obviously it caters to, like, the Chinese students and, like, the local, sort of, Asian population. It's great, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, they've got this massive sort of huge fridge and in it is just, you look at it and you're like, oh my God. And it's like, it's full of like, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you're right. I think it's more likely to happen if people are, if it's in the culture to eat sort of cheap meats. But speaking as someone who's, you know, now like, a bit of an asshole about that stuff, maybe I shouldn't be criticizing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you're right, that's the other thing, I think media has built this coronavirus up to be this vast threat, and I think people should take it seriously as well, but at the same time I think that like, it's a bit of a hysteria.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should, people are gross, they're sneezing and fucking, honestly everyone needs a fucking bit of advice on not to sneeze on their hand and then, you know, kiss someone with it or whatever, I don't know, fuck, whatever you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think some people are like eating their popcorn, like following it really closely and passionately. And I don't know whether they should feel bad about that or not. I don't think they should. Um, I think that it's just a part of, it's part of who we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he, is he a little bit politically incorrect, kind of in modern terms? Like is he, cause some people are kind of quite unapologetically-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, exactly. He's, he's got a finger on the pulse of kind of, of, of not, why, why do I have to be a sheep? Why are people really saying that? Like, and it's the questions that we've all asked in the back of our mind, but we normally just ignore or don't care. He's the guy who actually just challenges every norm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing the same material every night to a crowd who are gonna boo you or not laugh at some of your jokes and crafting that thing and working and trying to make funny jokes. It's tough to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's very hard for people to do that, to come to terms with, you know, declines of their.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of their, of their industry or, or you know, when you're on top, it's, it's everyone, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like people, people aren't, it's not part of our culture or education to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He'll do anything! Well that was a tax thing though, right, too. He had to like, he got like, in trouble and had to, he didn't have any money, he went bankrupt, so he had to just do some quick work to get back in, get paid for his mortgage and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's, that's about where, again, it's about, it's about where they've been, right? If they've, if they're going from something big to something small.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, you see like James Bond gets older every, you know, the same James Bond or Daniel Craig gets older every episode, but his, his girlfriends or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love interest in the movie stays the same. Leonardo DiCaprio is, I mean the movie version of it, you know, he's like 55 now, but he won't date a woman over like 25, you know, because he's just like constantly recycling new ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That kind of stuff is really true. Like, you know, you see it in Hollywood remakes where they get the same actors back. But obviously, in many cases, it's like, you know, I don't know, Harrison Ford coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem is Hollywood has this sort of responsibility to set the tone, right? And often like, it doesn't do a good job on this thing. If it normalises kind of old guys kissing young women, that's how we get Donald Trump being normalised kind of thing with his like, you know, young


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, male sexual assault in movies, you know, if, if like a, if like a school kid is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the South Park and lots of people have talked about it before, but like if a school kid is like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A teacher, a school, a school, a schoolboy and a teacher are getting it on. The schoolboy is like, oh, well done, high five. You know, whereas like if it's a school girl or teacher, it's like completely, you know, demonised and terrible. You know, there's this double standard then and Hollywood kind of has helped to perpetrate that to some extent. Um, we don't necessarily see


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A good thing, you know, it's not cool. Um, and then people were not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you're not kind of consenting to this stuff, you know, it can be very dangerous, but Hollywood has had like a history of making


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, certainly prison rape is a good example as well. It's like so prevalent in Hollywood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, I mean, I always, I mean, part of it is that, you know, don't go to prison or else you'll get raped by a man. It's like, woah, okay, I never want to go to prison because I don't want to get raped by a man. But it's almost understood that that's like a ground level, like, if you're going to go to prison, you're going to get raped by a man. So maybe in prison, the prison officers are like, yeah, do you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a bit of man raping going on. It's all kinda cool. We allow it. Like, just because of Hollywood. Like, I dunno. It's... it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that actually cool? Is that actually still, should I be laughing, you know, I mean, it's a little bit like you're a sheep though, you're just laughing along, you're just, you know, saying to the soldier, thank you for your service again, you know, is it something which we should be kind of more aware of?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you should just be more sensitive to what you're joking about. Like I think that if you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, I think it's hard, like you look back at 20, 30 years at these things and there are a product of their time and there are products that the people who wrote them and we're a product, we're not that smart, we're a product of our...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes the way to bring attention to these role reversals is to, is to satirize it, is to do an extreme example where people are like, oh shit, yeah, like, cause in South Park, the way they did it was very much like aware. It was like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause, cause I think like Kyle or someone goes to the stand, goes to the police and is like, you know, um, there's like a guy in my class who's like seeing one of the teachers and they're like, nice. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's very much like, it's very cleverly done. And so, but, but, but we, I mean, I don't think that we should like cancel


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is very funny. Exactly, I don't want to devalue like that. Like, a good comedian will make you laugh at jokes and you can still enjoy stuff. Like, I think that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, a good example is like JK Rowling and uhm, you know, actually, for example, someone tweeted me this week saying you should unfollow


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think when I signed up to Twitter about 10 years ago, I automatically followed a lot of people who I was a fan of. Sure, or thought you were. Jimmy Carr and Bill Bailey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, cause I wanna see funny tweets on Twitter from them, you know, I wanna, I like Father Ted, I wanna see his funny tweets, you know, and someone tweeted me and said you should unfollow him, uhm, because he's done a load of anti-trans stuff and commentary and I, I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't think they're evil if they have flaws like that or beliefs necessarily either. I think it's that they're a product of their, their cultural


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uhm, like teachings, like what they have been informed of over the years via media and Hollywood and books and people and friends and family and