[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I've been playing all week for the second week in a row? Well, hang on a sec. Before we talk about games that we've been playing, how about we talk about games that have come out recently or that are coming out this week? Do you guys know any?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and actually when the expansion came out, I, for the first time in about six months, played Hearthstone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I haven't finished like the solo adventures from the previous League of Explorers thing. So I was doing those. And I haven't even really seen any of the new cards yet. And I don't know if I'm going to play it enough to ever see them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, like, I'm a bit- I'm a bit bummed out about Standard, like, I thought Standard was gonna be easier for people to play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You still need to have bought the, the adventures, right? So you need Blackrock. So you need


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Argent Tournament wasn't a paid for thing, and same with Whisperers. Yeaah, so they were just card packs. It just updates the client and it's card packs. So you need to definitely buy two solo adventures, which for the full thing is like, it's like £20 each sort of thing. So that's £40.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus, if you don't want to grind your balls into oblivion, playing Hearthstone, to get some decent cards from Argent Tournament, cause there's probably a couple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, decent cards from this most recent expansion, you're gonna probably spend money on packs and stuff as well. So standard is still, there's, there's still money involved. It's not, it's not necessarily a case of rocking up and being like, okay, here, like, I'm just gonna test my skill at this game or have fun with it or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's still like a pretty big monetary barrier to overcome, to get started. That's sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would, yeah. I don't know, like, I think that it's a weird one, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of me thinks that part of it is fair and then other parts of me just see like this stuff sort of becoming like, it's not just Hearthstone but like a lot of the stuff that Blizzard does now is like, you know, they're, they're, they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're going big like on the sort of microtransaction stuff, and a lot of it is like cosmetic stuff or whatever, not in the case of Hearthstone, but like, they'll cross promote their stuff, you know, like Overwatch is coming out now, so like in Heroes of the Storm for instance, if you pre-ordered this super fucking special boner edition of Overwatch,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get Tracer as a hero in Heroes of the Storm. And that's the only way that you can get Tracer in Heroes of the Storm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's fuckin' bullshit, just like she is in Overwatch. She's like a fuckin' terror to play against, especially if somebody's playing her well. She's really fuckin' obnoxious. She moves around very fast and she's like really hard to kill and she's the same in Heroes of the Storm. And it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just fucking hate, like, some of this stuff, like, I mean, I like Blizzard, like, I really like Blizzard, I still really like their games, I like their IPs and stuff, but like, fuck, I just like, I don't know how- That locked door. It's just, it's so much fucking money all the time, and it's like, you know, they're, they're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or you just have an, uh, yeah, like an extraordinary amount of time, like invested in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything. You know what I mean? Like, if you play with people especially, you can just go off into a corner and like get one sort of supply chain up and running and just do that thing and it's pretty fun. It's really satisfying actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless they, unless they, they add more stuff to the game. Like, it's one of those, like, you sort of, you finish a game and you're like, cool, like, I'll come back, cause Factorio is the kind of game where the guys who make it will just keep working on it, I think. I hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The shit that happens in Dwarf Fortress is like nothing you've seen in a game before. Like it's nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's the random shit that happens too, right? Like, you're not always guaranteed for something. Like, I had a game of room world going one time, and I had a pretty cool base, you know, everything was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty, fairly efficient, not super duper efficient. People had like rolls and you know, they were off getting stuff. We had plenty of supplies, everybody was doing fine. And then this like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, and, and I could have done something about it, but I didn't know that I had to do something about it. Like, I was quite happy that it was there. I was kinda worried that if I went and investigated it, something would come out and just wipe out the whole colony.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, well I'm glad I didn't check it. But yeah, so in the meantime, if you don't check it, unless you're like having a lot of fun in your bass at all times to counter like the negative waves, you're fucked. Because your dudes are just gonna go crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that doesn't guaranteed happen every time you play the game. And I just think that shit like that is awesome, you know, like it throws in these random events and these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great. It's like, it's like Prison Architect, aesthetically, looks like a lot like Prison Architect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it plays different and it's, it's fun. It's definitely, it's definitely fun. Especially if you like Dwarf Fortress-y type games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, it's weird though, because it's not that kind of game though, is it? Like, I don't know, do you get much out of Dota if you only play once a day? Like one game a day? Nah, I think so. It's the kind of game where you, you know, you do have to play a couple of games a day, really. Because like, it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a meta progression thing, isn't it? Like you've got MMR that you want to like increase, you want, you know, your games, your win-loss ratio and all that kind of crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is better for you, but it doesn't apply to gaming because the nature of games and the way that they hook you into games, they're addictive in nature, right? So like the mechanics and the systems that they put into play, it's like, you know, it's like, wow, you don't just log in and do one daily a day and wow, and, and, and feel good about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another thing that keeps people coming back to these games though, uhm, and something that maybe you're, you're, you're discounting is that there's, there's community built up around this stuff too, right? You know, like, when you were playing Dota, you weren't just, you weren't just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grinding and slogging through seven games a day by yourself. You had a tight group of people that you play with. You'd have experiences with, you'd have a couple of laughs with, you'd tell each other to eat each other's shit from time to time and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the same as in WoW. You log into WoW everyday because you probably have a bunch of friends that are in your guild that you've probably met through WoW that you like to hang out with and do shit with and you maybe plan to do a wedding in Ironforge every Sunday or whatever, you know what I mean? Like, I think that is what keeps people coming back more so than just like the other shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we're lucky though, because we have the opportunity that not a lot of people have. Whereas we can combine, we can combine what we want to do into a job as well, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know man, I think like if you're into something, play it, then when you're done, move on. That means doing it like 9 hours a day till you're fucking just really sick of it or you've just done everything and you're ready to move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find it impossible to get into something if I'm only doing it an hour a day or an hour a week is even worse. Holy fuck, I have no motivation to come back the next week because I'm like, where was I? What was I doing? I'm not immersed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing, you know what I mean? Like, it's the worst. Like, I can't do it. I used to do YouTube content like that and so many series I just never finished because my gameplay was just so massively throttled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time I'd come back a week later to record or something, I'd just be like, where the fuck am I? Do I even care about this game anymore? Like, I've started playing other stuff in the Queen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you're just doing, I think you end up doing a lot of little things, but you never get anywhere with them. I feel like if that's all you're doing, you know, like, I'm only going to do this for an hour a day sort of thing. Like, I don't feel like you'd ever get anywhere with it. I think it would depend what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think like, I think on the opposite end of that spectrum, I think, you know, if you pick something up and it really clicks with you and you like it, just fucking do it as much as you can or as much as you want to. But that's a burnout. Oh, that's a burnout. That's a way to burnout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm at the point in my life where I find it masturbating a chore now, like I wanna get it over with. I know I have to do it, and I wanna get it over with as soon as possible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what I do is I limit myself to five hours a day. So even like if I haven't, you know, done my jism, I stop and I think, man, this is going to be way better tomorrow when I do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, listen. We got questions. We did not cover games. Let me quickly cover other games that have come out this week. There's other games that have come out this week, if you guys care about them. Offworld Trading Company, which is a game that we've played before, is actually fully out now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the fantastic voice acting. Uhm, another one that looks kind of interesting that I might pick up, uh, it looks a bit like game dev tycoon, but it's called pro gamer manager. I guess you just manage your own virtual pro gamers. It might be kind of fun. Oh, I heard of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fucking bad. There's a new adventure indie action horror game called Left Alone, uh, which will probably be picked up by every man child on YouTube that uses a face cam to like scream into. It'll be like the new one, I guess. Cause horror games tend to sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First, first question, post hot tip. Uh, Tessa van Loonenberg asks, do you beautiful guys have a weird habit or ritual?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you mean, yeah. That then counts. The top of that is a face. Right. Oh, the bottom bit, the bottom bits count as two faces though, right? So it's like, that is five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My weird habit or ritual, yeaah, is, well, like this happens with me, like in recordings and stuff as well, and I do it all the time, like not even, not even just like for recordings and stuff, but like when I'm at home too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I constantly sort of like sing songs with the wrong lyrics, like I replace lyrics in songs and sing songs and stuff and like now my son does it and my wife does it quite a bit now as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've done, I've always done it. I've always done that since I was like a little kid and I always, I'm not sure if a lot of people do that or not, but it's just one of those things that I've just always done. Uhm, kind of like almost borderline obsessively as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but I don't know if it's a dad thing because I did it before I was a dad as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like a line and shape guy, so like I'll, I'll just do like lots of like lines and shapes and then go back over those lines and shapes and like make them and then sometimes they just turn into buildings and stuff and other times it just turns into a big mess of like lines and shapes and weird patterns and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I do that sometimes too. I find, you know, I find girls write their names as doodles. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not going to work. Too much like mother fucker. Martha Fokker and Gaylord Fokker. Remember that one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know about you guys, but sometimes, like, people recognize me out and about, and they'll be with a group of people, okay? And one person in the group will be like, oh shit, like, it's Sips, like, you know, how you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, oh shit, like, I like this thing about this game, this one time and everything. And you're like, oh yeah, shit, I love games too. And then all these, like, three or four other people are just standing there looking at you like you're Hitler. Yeah, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You missed nothing. Another weird one just on the topic of this is when you meet somebody, uh, somebody who knows who you are and they're like with their parents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck planet are you from? Like they just cannot comprehend that like their kid knows you and that you make money somehow off playing video games. Like it's just, that look is so priceless. Like I love it every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had like a lady come up to me one time and it was the opposite, like the kid had like obviously just grown up and moved on past liking my YouTube videos, uh, but like the mom was like, oh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we found out you were here and I just wanted to come and say hi because my son used to watch your videos a couple of years ago and I felt like I just had another son in the room I could always hear your voice and stuff. And like the kid just looks like so fucking uninterested but the mum is like all over it and you're like what the fuck like this is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 625. He's always there ready to listen and help you through those tough times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you guys see the tweet? There was like, uhm, it's like Google Maps managed to capture a woman falling off a horse because the Google Maps van frightened the horse into a ditch and like injected this woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, just when you thought that like, you'd reach the pinnacle of funny shit that happens on the Google Maps street view pictures, like the dude


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the kind of things that your dad does and what does he like to do and what does he smell like? Think about those things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very detailed. Despite being quite small on the timeline compared to other times of history, there's a lot


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That goes on here. I mean compared to other empires as well. I think one of the most interesting things about the third empire is just how much conflict and bad things and chaos there has been within its time span.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, especially like, when you play Oblivion, and you're a kid, there's this feeling, well, at least we were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this feeling that the Empire is this, like, sunshine and rainbows beautiful thing with no problems. You know, like, they're the good Empire, they've, you know, they've got shit down and, and, you know, nothing is gonna go wrong. But the reality is, as soon as Tiber Septim basically conquered all of Tamriel, it was kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Downhill from there, like he declares the third empire and it just basically goes from being fully unified to just degrading with, you know, some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some upswings along the way of like, oh, but then, you know, this empire- emperor did some good stuff. But there's a lot of bad and a lot of strife as well, so there's a lot to unpack today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's more just like a nice title and an honorary thing and of course with the Amulet of Kings you have Akatosh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blessing, essentially, the person kind of being coronated as emperor, as having dragon blood, because really, Scott, you know, you made the video on the septum lie, and, uh, most of, uhm, the third empire, they don't come from, uh, Tiber Septum's balls, do they? They- His brother's, uh, daughter, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It quickly becomes, becomes Empress and then it all descends from there. So it's kind of like it all descended from Tiber Septim's father.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the one like unifying way to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all one big meme, basically. However, what actually does legitimize it? So it's more like a misconception than a meme, because if you can wear the Amulet of Kings, unless there's some like, you know, crazy sorcery involved, you kinda, you know, you have to have the Dragon Blood or it, basically, you can't wear it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they do, but it's like, it's, it's given to them when they become emperor. You know, or you're thought to be chosen by Akatosh at least. And, and that's one of the interesting things, you know, when you get into theories about is the dragonborn going to be the emperor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kinda like, he does send these people which do become emperors, you know, like Reimund, like, you know, the Akaviri invasion happens, they're like, oh, you're Dragonborn, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, um, so it's, and you know, then the Riemann dynasty comes from that. So it'd be interesting. Like imagine a situation, especially, I know we're going a little bit off topic here, we'll get back to it, but imagine a situation where Elder Scrolls 6 is actually set a little bit further in the future than anyone expected, right? Especially, I mean, there's been so long since Skyrim was released in 2011.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine if the dragonborn is an older figure and the current emperor is like the dragonborn's son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that would be cool, like if I'm just like kind of like brainstorming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It gets tricky, yeaah, it gets tricky especially when you look at hereditary stuff for being dragonborn. One of the most obvious reasons why it's a divine blessings, uh, divine blessing of sorts is because you could just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, you know, breed. You could breed dragonborns and you know, you'd have all these people who, you know, could basically learn the thorn and like you'd have, you know, if, if this dragonborn has like, you know, a bunch of kids, then they have a bunch of kids. You just have like a whole army of, you know, dragonborns, which, you know, we can assume that's not really how it works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Otherwise, the Empire would be the most powerful force.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the continent of Tamriel. I mean maybe they are and they just don't know it yet, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, maybe, maybe that's how, we'll get to the history, but I was just gonna say, maybe that's how Mankar Cameron did it, you know? He like, got the Amulet of Kings, hid it in a box, and then he comes out in Lake Aria's caverns, wearing a fake one that he's made, and he's like, ooh, look at me, I'm so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He outlives his son, but his grandson, Pelagius, uh, he basically ascends to the ruby throne, but then he gets assassinated in like, what, three years? And then- Yeah, by the dark brotherhood. By the dark brotherhood. Which is off note. And it's in the temple of the one, is it? A lot of things happen in the temple- I think so, yeah. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone dies there. Uriel the sec- uh, sorry, uhm, Kintyra comes into the picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's quite, it's quite interesting how it's kind of confusing when you look at like, dynasties, how they'll have, you know, Uriel second, Uriel the third. It makes it think, makes you think it's just one person naming their son the same thing over and over, but it's actually not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it, it, it's kinda like different people picking the same names and then they just put like the three or four on the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I guess so. I mean like Uriel the second who comes in at, um, year 64 and ruled for 18 years, he had like plagues and insurrections and basically accomplished nothing. But I suppose like compared to other things on the timeline of the empire, it could be worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's kinda like as well, even in addition to it being hard to maintain such a huge, you know, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's kinda just like hard to keep it anyway when you think of like the cycle of revenge and all the people that hate you, like you're gonna unify the land, but you're gonna make a lot of enemies in the process.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess so, we have uh, Uriel the second we just talked about, and then Pelagius the second basically comes in with the debt of Uriel the second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eventually, like they tried for like many years I believe before she actually gave him a son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And she's only doing this because she has this demon wolf's, werewolf soul. Like, there's the whole, the whole demon werewolf tail where she's in like, um, the ring basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so Quintilla, uh, which is, you know, the most agreed upon name was, um, her mother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole story with Quintilla is that her and Pelagius the second, they basically are kind of like, um, put together, but it basically, it says in the Wolf Queen, instead of wooing Pelagius and Quintilla together went out to save the kingdom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, with sword and sorcery and they slayed this demon werewolf. There's not a whole lot of description, like we don't really know much about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most important thing is that Quintilla decides, hey, you know what would be great? I'm gonna put this demon werewolf soul inside a soul gem, because why not? Like, that's pretty cool. Uhm, and Pelagius basically gets that stone, makes it into a ring, and uses this ring to marry Quintilla. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then, when they have their child together, which you can assume was probably conceived when Quintilla was wearing this demon werewolf ring, uhm, that's when Patima is born. When Patima comes out, it was said that, uhm, she was called like a little she-wolfomber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't remember exactly who buy, but she was, um, and then she gets it. She, you know, she's crazy. All the stuff you explained, right? But then she gets the gem from the ring, puts it into a necklace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's such a, it's such a bad way to go, isn't it? Like, back then they'd be like, oh, those horses, it'd be like car accidents. Yeah. Died in a horse crash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she, she smiled when she knew she was gonna die because she's kinda like, not only have I like caused so much chaos and civil war, but uhm, I've also ensured that the empire going forward is gonna be chaotic and have issues because I've made the emperor nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because when you try it, as the listeners can tell, when you try and map this all out and make sense of it, there's a lot of times where the dynasty doesn't exactly make the most sense, and it's kinda like one of those things where it is what it is, but then it retroactively tries to get made sense of like, oh you're this here, you're connected from this, and so on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It goes from, it goes from Uriel the 4th to Sephiroth's Septimus 2nd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's noticed, uh, he's, he's noted as the first non-Breton, uhm, or the first to not spend any point of their childhood in High Rock. Yeah, Nordic descent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a Nordic nobleman with sympathies from Skyrim and Morrowind and is detested by the Bretons of Highrock. Right. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then things go downhill, things go downhill again. You'd think that'd be enough at home to keep him occupied, eh? Feel like you gotta like really like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep Tamriel in your grips, like, you know, make that solid thick tie before you go off to Akavir and die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well first- That's heavy, but like it's all good rain, except that time I was- Well at first- Impersonated and captured for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be crazy. Like in terms of the paranoia, I mean like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For those of you who remember from Fallout 4, the whole feeling of like, you're a synth, no, you're a synth, that, you'd very much, like imagine, imagine you had a leader who was actually just them, but they did something which you thought was weird. You'd always be like, is that really them? Is this another imposter? Is the real leader I know trapped in a plane of oblivion?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it would, it would mess with your head. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got that ESP, he's kinda got like some psychic, maybe when he was locked away in oblivion, whatever nightmares he had to endure for 10 years, kinda like yea, okay, he got humbled, came back without being so ballsy, but he was kinda like, bit of oblivion's still in me, and I'm like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I guess Martin, as we know from Oblivion, then essentially sacrifices himself, uh, to defeat Mehrunes Dagon in the Temple of the One.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so they say so ends the septum dynasty, though we know the septum dynasty is a meme anyway, but Martin, if we are speaking about as.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May have sons as well based on his past, you know, we, we know he's mentioned, uh, having once possessed Sanguine's rose and kind of sounds like he ran with a cult of Sanguine worshippers who are all about that debaucherous life, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, just real quick as well, it is interesting to think, cause the empire, like the first empire, not the third one, started by Elysia, I'm talking about. That one, you know, that's when all the amulet of king dragon fires stuff, that's when that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but the whole amulet of kings and all of that was from before. And then you look at all the emperors that you've had since then of all different races and different groups and factions, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even the whole thing of keeping the Daedra at bay, I guess you almost have to look at it like Akatosh is trying his best. Cause, uh, there's been plenty of times where there's kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously there's the plots that kinda work around it with like the least amount of plot holes, but then there are just those moments where it's like, oh, this Daedra just comes into Tamriel. Just cause.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it makes it easier in those societies, or I don't know if this is a bad take, but I feel like it can almost make it easier in those societies for the lower classes to kind of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except the way that things are because it's just like, well, I'm not, I mean, even just like mentally, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm not divine, I was born like this, whereas nowadays-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without that metaphysical kind of aspect to it, it's kind of like, well, I'm here because of, you know, insert list of bad things, politicians, corporations, this, that, whereas before it was like, it was the same, it was the same bullshit, but it was just like, I'm divine though, so it's kind of like, oh, he's divine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I-I guess we should get back to the- So, so after Martin...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was crowned emperor. Not liked, but liked by the Elder Council more than Tidus Mead. And perhaps that's because, I mean there's two ways to look at that. Perhaps there's some witch warrior, he kinda had some charm kinda magic on them. Or perhaps it really is just like this witch warrior is really easy to control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we don't want Titus Meade because he's this crazy conqueror. And eventually Titus Meade does basically capture the Imperial city.


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[Assistant] 17, yeaah, I know, it's, even 7 years ago, I mean, think about how long we, we had uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The liberal party in Australia, like, that's a long time. Like, think of your life while they're in power. That's a long time. So you can imagine how it would have felt with these just random emperors in for this many years or that many years. But anyway, Titus Mead basically, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a colluvian warlord. He captures the imperial city from this fool's the gibbering character and crowns himself emperor of this mead dynasty. Um, and he kind of does the classic conqueror cope where he persuades the elder council like, I'm not a conqueror. I'm a liberator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're kind of like, well, he just captured the Imperial city. So, okay. Yeah. Um, and then he basically goes and reclaims Hammerfell. Um, and the, the city states, Breville and Leowyn and elsewhere and all of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but then of course, eventually, ultimately, you get Titus Mede II descending to the throne in 168. And, he is kinda like, you know, by the time of Skyrim especially, viewed as this, this weak leader. And many people don't like him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, I was just gonna go back, even the name gibbering kinda like implies, like what I was saying that he was this kinda like, idiot, like some kinda babbling idiot that's easy to control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It depends though, I mean the, the, the red guards fought them off and they thought that, I don't know, it's so hard to know as well, like it's, this is the thing when like you have like an emperor who can kind of call the shots, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He may have thought that other people may have disagreed. I guess the thing is, and I guess it's not necessarily better or worse, but when you do sign a treaty like that and delay things and you have, you know, time to rebuild,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do as well. So it's kind of just like, you know, like they're not stupid. They're not going to be like, haha, they are bending to us and we're not going to bolster our own forces anymore. Like everyone will use that time as efficiently as they can. You can assume.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess the men, the men breed faster, so they've got a higher like, regenerate. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's the real red pill. True story. True story. But I think- And on that philosophical note. Yea, we'll wrap up on that philosophical note.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's, it's, it's an interesting one, cause there's like, a lot of complexity, but it's, it's interesting the more you dig into it and kind of like think of it in a holistic way and, you know, how it would have been like living through each of those reigns for the people and all that societal kind


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it's snake people now. And like, there would be a group of people, like, you know, you talk about lifespans, especially of, of the human races who would grow up, and all they know is snake people leaders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know, it's just, it's a bit of a trip sometimes, but uh, that all said and done. Uh, social media links are in the description. Thank you so much for tuning in and we look forward to nerding out with you again next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi everybody, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. We're, uh, not on the road today. Hooray. We've got Lewis. What is up? Sips. We've got Pirianflax. What indeed is up? We've got Sips. Hey, what's up everybody? Got a big dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's new guys? What have you been up to? Want to know what I've been up to? Thanks to period flax. Just playing Rust, like all the fucking time. I can't get enough of it. Ever since the podcast where you were like, Rust is amazing and I've been enjoying it, I was like, maybe I should check that out. And ever since I've been hooked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but what if it's like, what if you're at the mall, okay, and you accidentally bump into like a really hot chick, like with your shopping cart, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I pretty much understand that too. But I mean, I know what you mean, like, if it's a fucking boring dream about like, and then all of a sudden I was wearing a fedora and I had a Superman cape on, you're like, yeah, fuck off, I don't want to hear that. But sex dream, definitely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I broke my previous personal best of not washing for three days in a row due to working from my garage now. That was pretty fun. Is that true?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, thank god. But it's just to sort of highlight the fact that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing really happens in my real life other than me going to the garage and playing games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We bought a new baby stroller, like, uh, it's a really good one too. It's like a travel one, cause we're going on some trips. So we did, we did that, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you going? Going on some plane trips. Ah. We're going on a special family vacation at the end of May, uh, in the UK. Nice. Uhm, destination top secret.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but no, it should be good. Like meeting up with like people from Canada and stuff too. So it's going to be a big one. So we wanted to make sure we were ready. We want to take all the stress or as much of the stress out of it as possible by investing in technology and by


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're going to Blackpool, okay? I didn't wanna say it, but we're going to Blackpool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good morning campers. But your kids are a bit too young, aren't they? Uhm, yeaah, to appreciate, like that sort of thing, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In an ideal world, yeah, but like, we're not really like that. Okay. Like some people, I understand that, you know, some people are like that and they do that or whatever, but like, we, you know, we're not- You do everything as a family. Yeah, that's right. Everything. Yeah. Like, you know, hey everybody, I'm going to take a poo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meet me in the bathroom. And then everybody comes in and we have a powwow and it's delightful. Team Sips shares the experience. No, generally like when we go somewhere like on vacation or wherever, we go somewhere like super suited to like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember when you were young and you were like in a, you went in the car with your parents and you'd always drive by really cool places and you'd be like, let's go there and they'd be like, ah, maybe next time or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there's like the insinuation there that if you break the rules and the clown finds out about it, like he's just gonna fuckin' appear in your bedroom window one night, like when there's lightning outside and stuff with like a really mad face on and it's gonna scar you for life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get pushed into the garbage and you get up and you're brushing yourself off and you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fine, it's fine, I'm fine. And the girl you have crush on is looking at you and she's like, Oh my god, are you okay? And you're like, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. And then you have that moment where she talks to you for the first time and you realize that there's just like a full hot dog wiener stuck to the side of your face.


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[Assistant] I mean, you go to a place like that and ideally you just want it to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A sunny day, not a cloud in the sky, or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, sometimes if it's a bit overcast, it's like a little bit cooler, you know, it's like, it's, it's a bit more enjoyable because it's not so hot, you're not just like sweating buckets and stuff. Yeah. That's not bad either.


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[Assistant] Man, that's such a dad thing, isn't it? Like, that is so specifically a dad thing, like, Man, I hope it's overcast today, so I'm not all sweaty when I'm outside.


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[Assistant] We're gonna have a good time. Oh man, holy shit. Hey, so I was, this morning I was making some, uhm, some breakfast. And by making breakfast I mean I was putting some milk on my cereal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, I was thinking like, I don't know about you guys, but do you guys have like, like home jokes? You know, like they're just like jokes that sort of happen around your house, but like they're not really, they don't really make a lot of sense or they're not really funny outside of your house, but in your house, they're like fucking hilarious. Like I was thinking like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason, I don't know why, but I got the Dexter theme music in my head. Like, I think it was just the act of, you know, making breakfast or whatever. Cause you know, the opening sequence has him making breakfast or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and it's like really weird, it's like, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong. Have you ever seen it?


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[Assistant] I've never even seen the show. What is it? I was just trying to like jog your memory with my awesome singing. It's a great fucking rendition. He's a, he's, he's a serial killer. Uhm, and he sort of justifies it, you know, he goes after, you know, bad people and he kills them and he like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was on the shortlist at one point, yeaah, because we were, we were like pretty into the show at the time. But then there were some questions, you know, should we really be naming our kid after?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A fictional serial killer and stuff like that. But also it turned out that the name was just very popular at the time and we didn't want to be in a situation where it's like, you knew like three other babies who were called Dexter. Yeah, you send your kid to school and there's like five other Dexter's and it's like, oh shit, that's not, not the best either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he had to be taken off the shortlist. But anyway, anytime I even think about the Dexter theme music now, I can't help but sing like these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something that we do is, we, we think that it's funny to give lyrics to songs that don't have like any words or lyrics in them. So like the Dexter theme music, it starts up and then we start singing.


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[Assistant] The first time we did it, we were fucking laughing our heads off, and it was like the dumbest thing, because it was just like, imagine this had lyrics, it'd be so funny, and the lyrics were just like so fucking bad, and specifically to do with Dexter, it was like, Dexter likes


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes no sense. It's like totally a home joke, right? Like, if I do it to my wife, she's like, oh yeah, that was really fucking funny, wasn't it? Blah, blah. Yeah. But, you know, outside of the home, it doesn't really make much sense, unless you take a lot of time to explain it or whatever. Do you guys have any? It's a private joke. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like not sexy ones, like do you have like any like really innocent ones that you can share or not really?


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[Assistant] Fuck, that's funny. Yeaah. Shit like that is amazing, isn't it? You get like these like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, that is funny. I mean, you can't really let somebody into like a family joke like that because they'll do it too much. Like your family has like a really good sense of balance, right, when it comes to making like reference jokes or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you let somebody into the fold, like somebody who's not part of the family, and then they're really trying to fit in or whatever, they might just make that joke all the time, and you're like, ah fuck off with that joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, family jokes, fuck me. Oh. Oh god. Lewis? That is a good one. Do you have any good ones with your, with your mom? Yoga teaching mom? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have to present themselves to you when you're doing something really dumb and unrelated, right?


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[Assistant] Kind of like a running joke for that trick. Sometimes it's good enough to sort of come back and like become part of like the main


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when we went on that trip to Paris, we had a whole bunch of jokes, like around Recherche and all that at the time, but like, they're still funny, but like, they haven't really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm not a, I'm not a picture taker. I'm very much a, I wanna experience the moment. I don't wanna have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, if I was going to a castle and visiting a castle for the first time, I wouldn't bother to take pictures because I just want to be like, oh, this is cool, you know, look around, explore and stuff like that and just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Enjoy it like that. And then, I don't know, sometimes like your memories of stuff are weird, right? Like, you could go visit the Eiffel Tower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, maybe people were being mean to you that day or whatever, but you'll always remember it being like a really sunny day, a perfect day and everything because you'll have seen postcards of it, like, and that it'll just like sort of meld into your memories of your experience of it so that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost like your memory of that event is perfect, but it wasn't at the time sort of thing.


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[Assistant] You want to use it as evidence too. You want to be like- Yeah, so she's like, you promised you'd take me here. Actually, I draw your attention to exhibit B, which is video evidence of me not saying that because I videoed it to make sure that I could get out of whatever it is you're asking me to do.


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[Assistant] I mean my mom's got like a big box full of pictures from when we were kids and stuff, we never fucking look at them. Like if I go back home to visit or whatever, we never get that box out. Like it's just buried somewhere like in their fucking attic or something.


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[Assistant] It is, yeah, because if you didn't grow up in the 80s or whatever, it just feels like you're watching something from another planet, because things were a little bit different, right? Yeah, yeah. Just the way advertising was back then, obviously fashion and everything was different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's gonna get upset? It's just gonna be something dumb like I went to put some fairy liquid in my sink and I didn't have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. Okay. You're gonna have an infestation before you know it. What do I do, dads? Help me out. Get a roach trap. Yeah, fucking, just pour some water down there or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's late, you're tired, all you want is a microwave curry and now you've got fucking a roach infestation to deal with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think you got it bad? I got blocked on Twitter this morning for making a death threat against Simon, which was a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said I will fucking kill you for tweeting this, uh, in response to a tweet that he made about people threatening to kill each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over like cupcake decorations or something like that on the internet. You know, typical internet garbage or whatever. So I thought, you know, be kind of funny. I had to delete the tweet. It's the first time I've ever had to delete a tweet on Twitter because it was a death threat. But it was a joke. Twitter blocked you but didn't delete the tweet? Yeah, no, they blocked me and then they forced me to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Log in again and fucking, you know, do my two factor authentication and stuff. And then they're like, okay, well now that you're back in, please delete this offensive tweet. And it was just like me saying to Simon, my friend, I will fucking kill you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? China? Yeah, the WWF wrestler China. You know, she used to chum around with Triple H. Back in the day, she made, uh, well she became a porn star. I didn't realize that she actually became a full porn star. I remember back in the day, there were rumors about a porn video where she had like weird looking vaginas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, that's right. And uhm, but yeah, they found her dead in her home in LA. Where did you read that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. Even the Vicar of Dibley, like if you put it up against some of like the more recent stuff, it's like fucking hilarious in comparison, but you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta say though, have I got news for you is fucking hilarious still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, people probably watch the shit out of that though. Like, cause there's nothing else to watch, right? Like, that's all they get. They just get Mrs. Brown's boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you live in Britain, like, there's definitely like a culture and an identity associated with Britain, right? And like, if you're watching fucking American comedies on Netflix and stuff like that, every time you're doing that, you're potentially losing those things that make you British, right? And that's why the BBC needs to make


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Comedies for British people, about British people, like they kinda have a responsibility to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he does for real. He was trying to tell me about Death Note or something the other day, and I had a venue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just kill him. Just kill him, Daredevil. And the nice thing about Daredevil is that he is all for justice. He embodies the justice, but he's not so fucking overpowered that it ruins the show. He gets his ass kicked all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, aw shit, he's about to bust into the big base and he accidentally hit a kid in the face with a pipe, aw, and then the next like five episodes are fucking Matt Murdock just like sitting in the ER like hoping against all hope that he's not going to jail because he accidentally killed a kid and stuff.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. You know what? There's many flash games that you can play on the internet. It's disgusting. About all of your favorite hentai heroes as well. You might want to check them out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like Harry Potter. Why not? Cause Daniel Radcliffe, I don't like him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gonna be sitting in his living room tonight, right, on his couch. He's gonna be in a pair of white boxer shorts, no shirt on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a pair of ill-fitting brown socks on, with like a microwave TV dinner in front of them, surrounded by anime pillows, and cockroaches, watching anime, and he's gonna turn around to one of his anime pillows and really smug look on his face and say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well done. You- Well done. Uh, uh, I'm not gonna- I give up. Do you-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like books. I like books. I was joking. I just, I just don't want to ever admit to liking Harry, well I don't actually enjoy Harry Potter, cause I don't really know much about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You knew you weren't gonna really like it. Man, you're not the target demographic at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen guys, you know this whole conversation about anime? This is gonna be the most controversial podcast we've ever done. It is really gonna divide. Like, it's gonna be like Moses in the comments section. It's gonna be crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how it works. Pretty much. That's how the world should work, right? That's what happens when you spend too much time on Reddit, Louis. Just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck me. Fucking hell. Alright, listen, if we're gonna talk about games, it's gonna be a quick one because literally there's no fucking games out. Like, Dark Souls 3 came out, nobody, none of us have played it, and we've all played Rust instead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we've all got Rust Fever now, don't we? We've all been playing it. Everybody at the office is now playing it. We've got like a community server with people from the office and people out in like the fandom playing it as well, which is really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's about it. If you wanna play Rust, you should play Rust. The guys from Rust gave me a hundred keys to give away, and I've been giving them away. Are you serious? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I've been giving them away on Twitter before I got blocked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just tweet at Sips if you want a key. Yeah, just tweet me. Just tweet me and say, you know what? The Triforce podcast is the best fucking podcast I've ever heard in my life. I love it. I live for it. I don't do anything. I wait patiently for 4pm GMT on a Wednesday for the new episode to come out and I'll give you a key for sure. Nice. So shall we do some questions?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think that online games are great because you get to play them with people, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ohhhh, like a, as like a sort of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anti-piracy sort of thingamajig. Well, I guess that's why. I mean, they don't want people pirating their games, so they want to make sure that they know who's logging in and playing them or whatever. It makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, and it shows why now we're in this place where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Games are free to play and you're just being charged through the nose for cosmetics and other shit like that. If they're selling something through a store that they know people are gonna buy, they're gonna make their money that way. And they're not gonna lose out to people not buying their game and just pirating it or whatever and putting them under.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, I dunno, it's, it's such a weird one. The whole thing has just been such a weird, like, evolution around...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Protecting against piracy and it's with piracy that they're always at like two or three steps ahead, right? You know, like there's always ways for them to get


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, always online and DRM and stuff is just another step, but it'll just keep going and it'll just keep evolving and in the end, you probably won't have to pay for a game, uh, but in the end, you probably won't be able to enjoy a game without buying a bunch of shit in the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they've somehow managed to ring fence and make safe from piracy or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's a shitty direction to go in, but it's just the way that it's gotta be, because, you know, these guys work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They need to make a living or whatever and they want to make money. And it comes down to it as well, like sometimes these games are really fucking shitty. They're overhyped and they're shitty and you pay money for them, but you got Steam refunds now, right? So if you buy a game and you don't like it, just fucking refund it and just show them that you dislike the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pre-order something if you know that you're gonna fucking love it. Pre-order the new WoW expansion if you've played WoW for the past 10 years and you love WoW and you know you're gonna play it and get value out of it, enjoy it, that's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't fucking pre-order, you know, Ubisoft's next game or whatever, because chances are it might not be good, you know, given the track record, but then again, a lot of people like The Division, including myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy to think that it's probably easier to download a full pirated copy of a game than it would be to just play a demo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was your way of additionally hyping yourself for a game, you know? You play the demo, you play the shit out of it, it was super limited, but you enjoy it, and then you're like, fuck, I can't wait for the full game to come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was saying this to Lewis the other day, like I was just out in a field and like the weather changed and it was really quiet. It was in this remote part and I just thought, fuck this game is amazing. Like every little fucking detail about this game is awesome. You know, like you could hear bugs and you could hear fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could just hear like, gunfire very distantly. And I felt like I was like, oh great, you know, like they're fighting, but like they're super fucking far away. And I can tell that, like in the game, like it just feels like this alive world sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have any other quick ones? Come on, we need to answer more than one question. And you also have to say who they're from, too. Sips. I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not really. I think it's fine. It doesn't bug me too much. You know, like sometimes when things are broken, it can be annoying or whatever. Like recently there's been this thing where if you start uploading a video, normally you can just add a thumbnail to it straight away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason, they've changed something and you have to wait like five minutes before you can put a thumbnail up. It's just a little thing, but it's like kind of annoying, you know, cause like you, you develop like a workflow, you know, right? Like when you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you make a video, you render it, you upload it, and then you have a certain sequence that you do things in sort of thing to get it ready to go. But overall, no, I wouldn't change anything. I think it's fine. Like it's just this great big


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beasts that just is constantly changing and things change on it or whatever. And you just, you just got to roll with it, I guess. Like it's just one of those things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'll say Watchmen because pretty much it's the only one I've read. Man. Like, I don't read lots of like, comics or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I don't know, like I'm a nerd, but like I'm not like a super duper nerd. Like there's a lot of things that like- You still don't see yourself as a nerd, do you? I see myself as a nerd in the sense that like I play video games and I really enjoy video games and I enjoy like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weird fuckin' obsessive aspects of video games and stuff like that. But I've never been like, you know, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nerd tendencies, but even then, like, I probably was playing, like, Pharaoh or something, and just being lazy, and I didn't wanna, like, go out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then I probably thought to myself, uh, maybe I'm like a bit of a nerd, like I'm just staying home and playing a video game instead of going out or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean nerd- nerd was a totally different thing when I went to school, right? Like a nerd was like you had-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But nowadays it's obviously like, go fucking look at this nerd who like knows everything about fucking anime or whatever, he's the best, I wanna be like him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's come full circle, like it's gone completely the other way now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, what nowadays would constitute you just being a unappealing nerd? Yeah, there's certain things, isn't there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My son like still doesn't understand the concept of the weekend. So like every day he wakes up, he's like, do I have nursery today? Yeah, yeah, it's Wednesday. It's like, do I have it tomorrow?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, that'll be Thursday. What about the next day? Yeah, Friday. And the day after that? No, no, Saturday, you don't have nursery. But I have it today, right? Yeah, yeah, you've got it today. Yep, every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's amazing. That's amazing. Listen, before we leave, I have one shoutout, which I'm sure that you'll all join in with me in shouting out to. A man on Reddit named the one in the underscore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've imagined them all shitting. And now they're just normal people in my mind. Shout out. They are no longer super humans. Sad day indeed. That's what we were told. We know, man. We know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's sad. Now you've pictured us all sitting there, pants around our ankles, taking a shit, and you realize, you know what, we're just average, everyday, ordinary nerds. I'm shitting right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that would make, that would make Uruk over 600 years old. Uhm, you know, fairly, maybe 700. So I feel like, wait, wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoever's recording the, you know, the information doesn't really care about orcs, which makes a lot of sense because all you really have to go off talking about the orcs having a shorter lifespan than other elves is kind of like the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weird, vague, mythological story of orc-y, old knock-o, like, you know, shaw pulled the years off of the nords and threw them onto the orcs, and it sounds a bit ridiculous, so... I mean, like, there's not much evidence...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's hard to say, because I feel like the evidence, you'd live the evidence, wouldn't you, if you were in the world, but we just don't really hear it talked about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From a gameplay perspective, we can't ask them how old they are and what their lifespan is, but you have to imagine that for the sake of like, immersion in the world and it being a realistic world, that if Orcs did live ten times longer than


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a cool idea, but it's unlikely, I think, to sum that one up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because there's no doubt that the Vampirium Order is very active, high up in the politics of the Empire. Like, there's a lot of suggestions that they're intertwined in the Elder Council and things like this, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really, all of Solitude politics is in favour of the Imperials, and it's really the only thing that could possibly connect her, obviously, is the fact that she's likely a vampire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of just seeing two things that are vague, like a coincidence and then just, you know, kind of doing what you do with the conspiracy theories and just shoving them together. But yea, as you said at the very beginning, the fact that she's been so ingrained for so long kind of goes against it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus obviously, you know, it's only a small thing and it doesn't necessarily go against it, but you know, the fact she's a Breton as opposed to an Imperial, which if she, maybe if she was an Imperial, it seemed more deliberate that she was in there. Like, you know, if she hailed from Cyrodiil originally, then that would be a good link to make, but it doesn't really exist, the link.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, a lot of the way they ruled Morrowind can just be chalked up to mortals when they're given enough power, you know, corruption, hubris and arrogance all coming into play. But at the same time, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can definitely draw those connections because there is a lot of mental illness going on with those three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And even if he did send it down, I almost, I wouldn't necessarily associate that with him kind of like losing it. It would just be deliberate in a very cruel, sadistic, as I said, kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean yea, like a bit of treachery is kind of ingrained in their political structure anyway, you know, like uhm, between houses and, and, and what not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like tre- treachery can be very meticulous and, um, you know, carefully considered to the point where I wouldn't call it Shayagorath's madness. It would just be kind of like a- a first for power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess if you want to make the argument that like, you know, being somewhat sociopathic would fall into Shegorev's domain, then fair enough, but we are kind of like, stretching it a bit to make, you know, to make Shegorev's focus


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least in terms of, yea, simply depriving them of their access to that power is going to fast track their descent as opposed to them, you know, say Daegotha weren't there, they still had access to their power. It's much less likely that the events that unfold would have happened the way they did and Amalekse wouldn't have gotten so unhinged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, but you know, once you, once you pull that away from them, just about anything can happen, and that's maybe when ShayagoraFlex slips into the, into the situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The cult of cringe. If only we were in charge of the new law. If only. If only.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the end of the day, this theory, you almost can't argue against it, it is 100% true. The problem is, it's like, what do you distinguish as being a black soul gem, or like, what clarif-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are both just gems that essentially function like a soul gem. It sucks the souls of these characters in and powers something like the Numidium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess yea, it's just whether you choose to call it a black soul gem or not, it's just a receptacle for the power of souls to like, or the power of whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you call, would you call the Amulet of Kings a black soul gem? Or would you just call it like, kind of like, the idea is more that it's, I guess you could put them all under the umbrella of soul gem, but there's this kind of, yea, the sinister connotations of the black soul gem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, maybe we're being shallow and pedantic, but at the end of the day, it's like, it's just, in the Elder Scrolls, there are receptacles for souls, and you could say that the Heart of Lorcan is that in a way, because it is his own heart, and it contains his power, but not necessarily his soul. There is connections there between that and all the gems that hold souls in the lore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, it's just whether or not you want to specifically call it a black soul gem is up for debate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like the words you used to describe Magnus and his role in creation was very much like, the terms like, the architect, like it's very deliberate in kind of like the way it was going to be created.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you, you know, like uhm, you've got kind of, I don't know, this, I'm going on a tangent, it might not be super related, but you've got like the Order of the Waking Flame, which is a cult devoted to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't done properly, but it's supposed to like, adapt and learn and change and then become something better. Uhm, does tie into the vision of Magnus and the Magnege.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a long comment. I mean, if you're happy, uh, I'm like, I'm kinda happy to just hijack it a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, because, I mean like, unless you wanna go properly into detail on all of it. I don't. It's, okay, cause it's like, it's very hard to answer this, answer any ideas around Draco Chrysalis, because there's one time on the channel that I covered it on like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea was Isgrimora dragon, so like the idea that perhaps the last dragonborn could mantle


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alduin and kind of, or like achieved Rayco Chrysalis isn't impossible and there's obviously a lot of supporting evidence there which to be honest has kind of gone over my head, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The basic idea of Draco Chrysalis, which is actually supported in...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually no, it's not in the lore, it's in the Numantia Intercept, which is extra canon written by Michael Kirkbride. But there's this mention of something called Draco Chrysalis, which is where you could kind of like, focus your energy, or like try to transcend by becoming a dragon, and because dragons are timeless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Therefore, you've achieved immortality. And there's the idea that Tosh Raka did this in, uhm, in Akavir by becoming the Tiger Dragon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in the Was His Gomorrah Dragon, um, theory video, to put it in short, uhm, there's a theory that the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people who overthrew Ligg, this adjacent place where Meryn's Dagon came into, you know, where he became relevant for unmaking the world, the slaves who rose up were actually the Nords, because there's some Michael Kirkbride texts that draw distinct, draw connections between the downfall of Ligg and ancient Nord heroes. So the idea is that maybe,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the, these Nords fulfilled the role of the World Eater in League and therefore achieved, like essentially became Alduin in that world, mantling him, becoming dragons, becoming immortal, and that's what allowed them to sail into the New World, sail so to speak, sail into the New World and become the Nords.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of this iteration of the universe. I don't know if I've worded that well at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They achieved Draco Chrysalis that way, which is all like really weird theory crafting anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if the last Dragonborn is being a good character, is being a protagonist, then in what way would he be mantling?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Super canon. But uhm, I mean like it- and obviously we don't mean to shit on this theory, but it's like, there's a lot of information and it's probably quite interesting to look into seriously, but it is based on a lot of assumptions, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even a, even a strong theory of Draco Chrysalis is still very like, can we, can we believe in this at all? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'd be interested to hear your opinion on this, but the one tru- bit of trouble I'm having with that is, you know, definitely the idea that Talos being kind of composed of some she- like, you know, at least one chezereine in, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I almost see Talos as being an ascended aspect of Lorcan or Shor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not necessarily a replacement, because one kind of special thing about Lorkhan, which you can't really apply to other gods, is that his role is very much physical as well, you know, he physically is the world. So, if you mantle aspects, or like, you know, the god of man aspect of Lorkhan,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How then, like, how do you justify Talos as having mantled the physical side of Lorkhan, if that makes sense? Or do you think it's just not relevant? Like, that God is just no more, and it's just... do you know what I'm trying to get at?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then this also could be cute. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talos, and you know, the Shezarenes in general, is a kind of extensions of Lorkhan, of his way of trying to reassert some control over the world, as opposed to being trapped as this corpse, as this... just a heart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, I guess it's like, yeah, but where I had the difficulty was, would him having extensions of himself in the form of chezerines, would that count as mantling him, or would they just be carrying out his will as kind of slightly lesser versions of him? Which I guess is up to debate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to sate a couple of the Maik stans without spoiling your video too much, can you think off the top of your head of one of the weirder theories you had to look up for Maik? That you could drop here as a teaser?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just one of the tools that keeps the franchise alive while we wait for something more. We just need, whether the memes are overdone or not, we gotta have them. You gotta have the memes. So I'm all in favour of that tribunal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just need the, the, the voice of Maik to, to reveal themself and, and like start a TikTok or something. Then we'll have endless entertainment. Next theory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] TikTok is a plane of oblivion. You're hearing it here first. And Wes Johnson is its mask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly I feel like the shivering, if you had to physically spend time in either the shivering isles or if TikTok was a realm and you just had to land there and walk through it, all the sections of it, I would lose my mind way quicker in TikTok land than in the shivering isles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but like, the shivering aisles is like, is, is insane, yea. And if you open TikTok, literally everyone is insane. What is the difference? Dude, I think, hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair, I don't open it, but like the TikToks that make the public eye, I guess maybe they make it, like they're very visible on the rest of the internet because they're insane. Maybe I've got the selection bias.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll be honest for a second, I don't like endless scroll. Anything that is endless, I'm like, no, that is gonna destroy my brain. So I'll like make sure it's something where you have to actually hit the end. Finish it. You know what I mean? Fair. Yeah. Advice for anyone who's got a social media addiction. No endless stuff. Things that have to end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you do have the idea, obviously, that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The gods, as well as just mortals, is an interesting idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, like, if you're taking the, the, the bad side out of something, that means the good side is in there too. If it's, if it's an entirely bad entity, why not just throw it away and replace it? The idea is that Akatosh was already Shazaar and, um, Oriel, and they're trying to remove


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so the idea was that Alicia was bringing together Nordic Shor and Elven Auriel. That's how Akatosh is created, but they kind of pushed the name Shor Shazaar under the rug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's why you've got the man and the dragon and Marook is pulling the dragon out of that because like that's the elven side we want the human side. So I'd say it was already there otherwise it wouldn't be a taint it would just be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I might be missing something here, but if I'm just thinking about the Khajiit pantheon, Shagaraf has nothing to do with Lorkhan's birth in the darkness and the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's actually have an episode where we try our very best to find evidence that supports Fallout being associated with Elder Scrolls, the same universe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, the idea of it being canon comes from outside of the canon, the idea of abolishing the canon comes from outside of the canon, so inherently it's not canon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's so much argument about canon, but I feel like to me it's so simple, you just like, you obviously have what is canon because it's in the games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you can still acknowledge stuff that isn't canon, so long as you just identify the fact it's not canon, given that disclaimer, but it's interesting to think about these things, especially if they come from people who used to work on the universe, because, say Michael Kirkbride, obviously,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything he did after working with Vezda isn't canon, it's as simple as that. But, you can give some credit to somebody who was there for the, you know, for coming up with a lot of these ideas. So obviously,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, yeah, if they decide to include it, then that's fantastic, otherwise you could just kind of consider it, yeah, it's like a theory, maybe unreliable narrator, you could be like, oh, because of the unreliable narrators in the universe, we can justify these ideas, but obviously, you know, it's fun to talk about, just don't take it as gospel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always this paranoia in the back of your mind that you're gonna, like, be, that everything's suddenly, this joyful job that we have is suddenly gonna come to an end, right? And I think that's the same for everyone in every job, right? That they like doing. They're always paranoid about losing what they love. It's just a natural human thing, right? But the reality is, is that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm never gonna go back into chemistry. You know, I haven't done it for like 10 years or whatever. It's not gonna be a thing. I mastered that already. What have I been doing for the past 5 years? Well...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we don't have, you don't have to go back and try and find a job in a bank again, sips or whatever. You know, it's, there's different jobs now based on what you've been doing for the past five years. It's not like you've been out of work. It's not like you've been, you know, not doing anything that wasn't successful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, I imagine us, like, at the worst, being like a crappy character in Star Wars, like the guy who was Salacious Crumb, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I honestly didn't know any- I watched quite a lot of- I know quite a lot of esports people, I didn't know any of the people around the table at all. Right, right. And the person who came first was actually not even an esports person, it was- she was like a pro poker player, but I think they just added her because they wanted a girl. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think strip clubs are certainly, they feel like a relic of the past in a way, don't they? They feel like this kind of like American film thing, like seedy kind of goes out to like, you know, you're staying in a motel kind of, I don't know, just kind of a thing where bad stuff happens in CSI or whatever, right? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the same time, right, I feel like people, right, like this guy, maybe they have to balance being all church going and good and family like super good all the time with just letting go and going crazy like when they can get away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also maybe he just like slipped some one time and he just, you know, let you know about this. Maybe he just, I don't know, maybe he just wanted to test you Sips and see if you were like, you know, into like it's secret and you could have been like his kind of strip club buddy. Maybe he was looking for a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand what that process, what that is. You go to a thing with a group of guys and what you just all like sit there with like a bunch of guys sit around with erections in their trousers like what is, what is that? Have you ever been to a strip club? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I was just completely naked, but I didn't have an op- I didn't have an alternative. And so I was there, like, you know, with my- all of my flatmates, three of whom were girls, just stood there completely naked in the kitchen. I had to, like, run through, uh, like, screaming like a girl, uhm, to get some clothes on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh god, I, I remember that very well. Um, that was good, good times. So yeah, I, I was hanging out actually, uh, Alex's wedding, cause Alex, our editor got married to his, uh, long time girlfriend and it was a really nice wedding. It was at the Arnold's Veil Cemetery and I overheard these guys talking to Tom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, I really recognized his voices and I realized it was because I'd been playing Dota with these guys who were Alex's friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a long time. But I'd never met them in real life. And so I went up to them and they were all...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's two brothers and their friend, okay, and they're all over six foot, very well groomed, quite muscly, you know, wearing nice watches, you know, proper kind of like real 35 year old men who run companies, right? Almost like they looked, because they were wearing suits for this wedding, they looked super smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About like Bristleback and like the Dota games they've been playing with him and like, oh, you know, you did this thing to me. And I was like, oh hey, you know, and they were like, oh my god, I recognise your voice. So we talked for a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, it was really strange because we talked for the whole night about the nerdiest games. So they started off playing Ultima Online and played like five years of WoW and now they play Dota all the time. Ultima. Ultima. Do you have to fucking pronounce it that way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ultima. Thank you. Ultima. Thank you. I've always pronounced that. Just suck it up. Ultima. And so we went to the pub, and we were drinking all night and chatting with Tom, and it was a great time. It was really crazy. And it got to like 2.30am, and they were like, oh, we got work, we got work tomorrow, we better go home. And so they all said, oh, should we go to the strip club before we go home?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you just need a little triangle, right? And then we need to hire some men to dance and strip. It's a lot less hassle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The council is against it. No, I'm saying we do a male strip club, so it's like men stripping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I know they like, I know they're much more touchy than men are in general because they're just, but I didn't know they were like full on that kind of crazy level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just be a just total free for all strip club. Just men stripping, women stripping, hen nights get bring them in. Who knows? Who knows what they're going to get? Who knows? You know, out on stage today could be anything. Could be anyone. Could be P-Flex on stage or yeah, you know. I was thinking what my market would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's move on to something else. Alright. For god's sakes. So, uh, Sips, you've got your roof done?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, the airline's been bought out as well, hasn't it now? It used to be Blue Islands, but they've been sold to like a big thing and they've changed all the timings. Yeah, they sold out big time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pump up the volume. That's what that is actually what they used to do, isn't it? They used to park up, like, casino ships and stuff from outside, uh, yeaah. Oh, that's a really good idea, Sips. Man, I'll start adding. I mean, my yacht is only about six foot long, actually. It's not really, it's dingy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A boat is a hole in the water that you pour money into. Someone smarter than me said that. The two best days of your boat are when you buy your boat and when you sell your boat. That's what they say about jail too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As soon as a policeman says anything to me, I become like the most scared, stupid guy ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should be like headmistress or something. I'm terrified of her. Although what happened at Comic Con was that there was like this police woman banging on our door of the private room. Okay. And I opened up and said to her, are you the real police?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, but yea, so I didn't really, I wasn't nervous about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like so many, we've got so many in Smith as well. They've got so many airsoft guns. They've all got their, like, sniper rifle shotgun. And they just walk around the office with them. They're not, you know, they look like an actual gun. And so the problem, the danger, I obviously is that, is that, you know, if we did get swatted, we would have like a load of airsoft guns around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we've had to like lock them all in the, in this room, which Duncan's not too pleased about, but I think it's for the best overall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you were supposed to be fixing your roof, not just banging away at your strip club. Oh, I heard a boom. I heard a boom. Yeah, did you hear that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, mind your mouth, but uh, as long as you keep the- Careful, if you're wearing your dressing gown, you're wearing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what you're wearing, but I do know that it's usually slippers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen to you with all your fucking chest hair. Some of us aren't so lucky to have such a beautiful, like, toupee of chest hair, are they? You're like a gorilla. You should be thanking me. You'll get it eventually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't put a light, don't light your ear hair on fire. Listen, I think that is legit though because I think that like hair, I don't know, I don't know if you can get like an ear infection for example if you like trim all your ear hair and just leave all the hairs in there, you know? And don't like clean them out properly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the body's like, it's pretty much self-cleaning. As long as you don't, don't ever shove stuff in your ears or, you know, don't shove like cotton buds. Anyone who's listening to this now, do not shove cotton buds into your ears. Fuck so. It's a huge chore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never do that, no. It doesn't. Don't. It doesn't blow, it sucks. Yeah, your body is like, it works on its own, with to some extent. Like, you still have to clean your teeth and stuff, right? There's certain things you have to do. That's true, yeah. Right? But, stop shoving Q-tips down your dick hole, alright? Yeah. Just don't do it, it's not worth it. Use a dart instead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it. It's a good one. So do you guys, so I went to LA for two weeks and I wrote a little bit of a diary kind of as I went through. Oh please read us some of this. So I thought it would be interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That wasn't even a part of the flippin' trip, that was just unrelated, that was different. So anyway, we went to LA for two weeks, it was good, I had a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, on, on the first day that I got there, right, I accidentally, I went up, you know, I checked in at a hotel, um, and I went up to my room, but I accidentally left my suitcase in the lobby. Okay. And I was, cause I was totally out of it. And so Terps, seeing that I'd got in the elevator,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I thought, oh, I'll just take his suitcase. So Terps went and took the suitcase back up to his room, okay. Now I realised almost straight away that I'd


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, after like 20 minutes of worrying about where it's gone and asking everyone, I asked everyone downstairs, I finally fucking texted Duncan and Terps to find out if either of them had like seen it or done anything with it or whether I left it in the Uber or whatever. And Terps was like, oh yea, I have it. And I was like, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't believe it. I can't believe you didn't even tell me. It's not like, it was the worst prank ever. How do you feel about pranks like that? Cause that was not a cool prank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, like, like inviting someone to a strip club. It turns out to be like a main strip club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did that ever happen to you? Did that ever happen to you? I actually got hit by one of those buckets on top of a door and it really fucking hurt. The bucket fucking was heavy. It hit a fucking heavy bucket, hit me in the head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, day two we went to Universal and did like the tour around, right, and it was similar to what we'd done before, but they've built this big Hogsmeade, so I guess they couldn't get the rights to Diagon Alley. Okay, Harry Potter Diagon Alley. So what they did was they bought the rights to Hogsmeade instead, and they built like a Hogsmeade. That reminds me actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, well anyway, they built this entire place, like this entire Hogsmeade, which honestly


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[Assistant] It feels like Diagon Alley now. Cos Hogsmeade in the books was kind of this wintry place down the road out of Hogwarts, right? Where, uhm, Harry Potter and that go for a beer and Dumbledore's brother lives there. It's not a big deal particularly, it's like got a pub.


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[Assistant] I think it's supposed to have like a sweet shop maybe. It's kind of like a crappy little post office-y area, right? You know, you know the sort it's supposed to be. Anyway, they've turned it into this incredible theme park full of everything and it's got a branch of everything right there in Hogsmeade. So it's got an Ollivander's. So we went around and we did the thing, right? And it was great, honestly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Possible, kind of merch, Harry Potter related, you could possibly fucking imagine. Okay? You name it, there was some merch for it, and you could buy it. There was like everything. Fuck, did they have t-shirts? Luggage straps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bookmarks, what are you talking about? There was, there was t-shirts, no! There were, there were fucking bath robes and-


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[Assistant] You could buy a broomstick, they were like, wax seals, you could like, put your fucking family crest on, they were like quills, like, uh-


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[Assistant] So obviously it was great going around this place with Duncan and Terz because they both are big Harry Potter fans and Duncan was just in heaven buying everything, you know, just really into it, getting dressed up and stuff. Sheen was kind of just like looking for the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We fucking went into Ollivander's, which is this wand shop, and we watched, uhm, the sort of ceremony, right, where a guy, a little kid, well it wasn't a kid, it was like a 15 year old with a full beard or whatever, comes up and he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I like Harry Potter, I'm, I'm, I would like some wand please. And the guy, Ollivander says, oh, and it's just like, it's a little theme parky kind of ride jokey thing where all the wands shoot out. I don't know if you've seen Harry Potter, but it's like this whole wand selective thing where you get the, the, anyway, Terps and me were just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joking in the background and we came up with an idea for like a sort of a sketch. Almost like a, like, can you imagine, you know, I don't know if you know this right, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way it works is that he gives, he gives like the person a wand and they try it out and they wave it around and they always say, oh, you know, this is a dragon hair core and it's like, it's made of oak and it's like 13 inches and it's quite, quite willowy, right? And so me and Terps had the idea that instead that Ollivander would just start getting out like a dildos and giving them and saying, oh yes.


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[Assistant] Thirteen inches latex, quite floppy, black, hard. You know, like, like, I don't know, do you know what I mean? Like, he basically stuck going through all these, it would be like a dildo picking shop. Anyway, it was fantastic. We had a great time, we went through into the back, and you could literally buy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A wand themed for every single Harry Potter character. You could buy fucking, like, every minor character. There's like hundreds of them. It was so weird. I couldn't, ugh. It was just such a, it was such a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's odd, surreal thing to, to, to, to go through. How heavily.


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[Assistant] Merch heavy it was. It was bizarre. And everyone was buying stuff as like super busy as well. Like there was no, there were massive queues for people to spend money. I don't know. But this is what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No more anime shit. It was an experience. So I feel like, like, with the strip club thing and the Harry Potter thing, I feel like, I feel like I should be, like, expanding my mind a little bit, right? I feel like I should be willing to, like, go to these things. I think you've got a pretty expanded mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, it was the, the Harry Potter one was the queasiest thing I've ever done because you were, you were basically on a simulator that was one of those ones where, you know the rides where you uhm, basically just strap in over your shoulders and it goes uploads into the air and then it just drops you back down, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're sat in one of them, but it's in a simulator, and you've also somehow got fucking 3D glasses on. Okay? It's like too much.


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[Assistant] Well, what are you going to do about that? Holy shit. So I had a good time in, in LA and you know, it was great being hanging out with, with, with Duncan and Sheeran and Terps for like a week. It was, it was really cool. There were, I've got a few notes here. So on the last day that we were there,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did one of the most, the things that Duncan was the most excited to do, right, which bizarrely was to go to Target and buy a load of t-shirts, uh, that were themed around, I don't know, Iron Man and, you know, just stuff. Like just, that you can't seem to, I don't know, it's just the thing that he wanted to do.


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[Assistant] So I've got a couple of anecdotes, well not anecdotes, but I've got a couple of things that I've made a note of which Duncan did or said, right? So first of all,