[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm appalled. Anyway, let's move away from Just Judy for a second and back onto the topic of disastrous stuff, but everything you've said, P-Flex, hasn't really changed anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a story. You guys, fuck me. So, uh, let's move on to games. Have you guys played any games this week? Have you seen any games? This is the worst part of the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hearthstone's always been Magic the Gathering casual, Magic the Gathering light, Magic the Gathering online. Everything that Magic the Gathering should have been but didn't because it got bought out by a massive toy company and never was encouraged to innovate or build platforms or build anything fun. Magic the Gathering


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, or the opposite of getting flooded with land. It's kind of stupid. And Hearthstone fixed a lot of those problems and it has done. Standard is a copy of Magic the Gathering Standard, which is their, this is their format.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you, you did it though, didn't you? You bought all of the expansions, but how much would it cost? How much did you spend on Hearthstone to get going? In the game? I dunno. As a new player? Quite a lot, I think. Yeah, I probably spent like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but for most people who are never going to spend close to that on a game, you know, they, they have to lower the bounds to entry. Okay, so what they've done here is they've made this standard thing. They've added this, this, this card called C'Thun which everyone gets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and so, and so what it does is it basically means that this game won't start losing audience, because the more complicated, the more long running, the more hard to get into a game is, the less people are gonna play it, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That said, I think that there are, there are ways, I mean, the quests do give you a decent amount of cash and packs. So certainly like you can get almost 10 old gods packs for free now, just from the quests. And so that's, you know, it means that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it's, it's a, it's a case of natural selection in that the games which are the most addictive on iPad or have the best profitable, most profitable business model


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are the ones that stick around, are the ones that end up being popular. And it's survival of the fittest, it really is. And so obviously this-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That whole thing of that psychological business model of free to play is, is, is just so effective and it's hit that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is another thing that I'm, I'm kind of, my current thinking is that I played a lot of Dota, right? And then I started to think how, I talked about this yesterday on DeckRivers, but cause I started to get to the end of an evening of Dota and think how many games I played tonight. I couldn't even remember how many games I'd played. You know, and I certainly couldn't remember what happened in them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I read a lot of stuff about this stuff, and it basically is that your mind, your brain doesn't remember stuff if it's too similar to stuff you've been doing before. So, for example, one of the classic things is that I used to drive back and forth to work, uhm, the same route every day. It was so boring, it was like a half an hour route.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically what I'm trying to get away from in my life at the moment is extremely repetitive things. And I don't think that's bad. Okay. I, I necessarily, I think that, I think that sometimes, sometimes something that's repetitive can be very soothing. It can be very enjoyable. It can be very relaxing. And I think that's something that you definitely need in your life. Okay. If you find something like, like something that's similar and you're good at and it's comforting, then sure, you know, do it and keep it, but be aware.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you're just doing it to waste time, then it's probably not a good thing for you. So I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not going to have another of these Saturdays where I just sit at home and play Dota all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think that it just, it's gonna be like, I'm not gonna remember it, it's just gonna lead out of my brain, I'm not really gonna enjoy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck it. And uhm, I kind of have that attitude. So I've, I've trying to be exploring a bit more playing games. So I, I installed, the game I played this week was Factorio a little bit more, which again is quite repetitive, but uhm, I installed a bunch of mods. So I installed, uhm, Bob's Mods for Factorio. Right. Now, if you know about Factorio Pflash. I still haven't played it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had uhm, like circuit boards, bigger circuit boards, soldering stuff, like components, all these stuff like running through as a main bus and then you just pull stuff off the main bus to build little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All sorts of miniaturized factories of like what you need and then they head back onto this main bus. I don't think the main bus can have everything, but certain, certain things are obviously needed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I was finding on Factorio is that you'd set up iron or lead or something that makes something, a little factory that makes like inserts on one side of the bass and then you build something on the other side of the bass and you'd realise, oh shit, that actually needs stuff from this side of the bass and the other side and somewhere else and then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, man, it was, it was, I didn't get very, very, very, very far, but I could see myself wanting to play another game of Modded Factorio multiplayer. And I think I'd probably play one more and that would be it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason this game has passed me by, and I think it's because someone recommended to me I looked on Steam, it wasn't on Steam. Right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, it's like the original Mojang Minecraft wasn't on Steam. You know, Minecraft still isn't on Steam, I guess. Um, obviously it works out for the guys, but for me, I've missed Rimworld entirely and I'm, now I've just bought it while we were chatting and so I'll still have a go at the weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, I was testing this game the other day, um, for me and Sips to play. And, um, we were, I didn't, I, I, I had like a pet dog and it said, oh, you know, the dog's hungry. And I was like, all right, so I clicked the door. I couldn't find any way to like feed it. I was like, well, maybe it's just hungry. Maybe it's always going to be like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great. Man, that's a great story to like, it's, you know what though, sometimes that's, those, those moments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not, they're not repetitive in the sense that Dota and Hearthstone is repetitive. Like, like you remember, I'm going to always remember that moment in, I don't know, Factorio when I missed out on those aliens and they got through the fucking wall and they ate all of my whatever, you know, you always remember those moments where you're like, ah, shit, I lose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think my philosophy probably on this stuff is to kind of do it or do a, do, if you do want to stay interested in Dota, then, you know, make yourself only play one game a day. So it'd be like, okay, I'm going to play one game of Dota and then we're going to go and do something else. You know, like, I think like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, I dunno, like, it depends, like, if it's something you feel at P-Flex that you wanna stay in touch with and learn, do, and not just devote an entire Saturday, you know, it's a little bit like everything, like, I think that you probably will learn more from playing one game per day than playing seven in one day, do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My analogy would be, is it better to run a mile every day or seven miles in one day a week?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I would, I would get it all over with, like, I'd go seven in a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's the thing, by the time you're logging in everyday just to do the daily or just to do the quest, at that point you fucking hate the game, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I mean I think they log in for their garrison, they log in for their daily payoff, they log in for their daily thing and at that point, you know, they might as well have quit because they're inevitably going to, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this is something, this is a different conversation. This is about what your job is versus, you know, what you're, what you really want to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes it tastes sweeter if you can't have it straight away, if you have to wait, if you have to, you know, if you put it off, it, it strings it out. I guess what I'm saying is that nowadays,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it does. It really does. Yeaah. But I mean, also you have to learn it. There is. There is. Somebody recommended.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's have a look. We'll just Google it. Let's do the questions while pflex does that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] P-flax is there, sitting on the sofa, maybe waiting for someone, maybe he's just finished watching an episode of Dead and he puts it down, and he's just, his eyes glaze over, okay, and in his mind,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think you are getting into the sort of land of, of sort of creepy kind of psychological, like, breakdown. They're really negative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like this thing where you say don't think of a crocodile and you always think of a crocodile. You're obsessed over a crocodile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a difference? Yes. Yeah, there's certain triggers you shouldn't, we shouldn't talk about, you know, crocodiles, it's going to get on people's nerves. All right. My weird habit or ritual.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think it's, I think it's, I don't do that. No, I think that's a creative thing more than I, you know, I'm not, I'm not necessarily that. I don't, I guess I don't listen to as much music probably either. What about doodling, right? So if you're on the phone or something, what's your go-to doodle?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's an amazing one. It's been two hours shaving the top lip. It's pretty good. That's amazing. What's your doodle sips?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure she was embarrassed for you to find that, but I think that she was probably not thinking, not looking forward to marrying you so much as looking forward to seeing how her signature would look if she married you. Okay. Cause you know, cause that can be a big turnoff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. This does not work for me. This does not work. You've got to change your whole name and what if it doesn't work? You know, think about how many men's names, think about how easily you could, you know, get your name


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, we were talking about this in the office, the amount of people who've got really unfortunate names. Imagine when you marry someone. Like Woody Woodcock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More like, you know, well, there's loads of them. I'm not going to give you them. They're all of the, all of the flipping jokes from the stream. Billy Strongcock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, do you know what, it's not the interaction with the fan, cause man, I love talking to fans on the street, you know, if you see me, I'd much rather you, like, just said, hey, Lewis, and I'd be like, oh, hey, and we actually, I'd much rather that than you creepily, like, taking a picture of me or tweeting me afterwards saying, oh, I saw Lewis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But sometimes what happens, what sometimes happens is that someone does that, okay, and then someone else nearby sees you and assumes you're famous and then wants a picture with you even though they don't know who you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for example, that's happened a few times and uhm, you know, they've tried to get like, sometimes they do it wrong as well. Sometimes they're like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this woman for some reason wanted me to take a picture of her in turps, you know, and that couldn't possibly because, you know, he was like more famous or something. I don't think she knew who either of us were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you know what, that sometimes happens in queues at conferences as well because they've been queuing up for like an hour and a half to meet you. And the parents are so mad that their kid has made you wait for an hour and a half that they're, they're, they're really clearly got this pent up aggression. They're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my, my daughter's really excited to meet you, but I think you're shite. I fucking hate you. You cunt. You fucking made me queue up here for fucking two hours. I don't know if it's ever that bad. You fucking bastard. I hate you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sort of expect our audience to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we obviously had quite a young audience with Minecraft and I sort of expected what they would happen was they would, they would grow out of us, right? And we would be uncool. Okay. Yeah. When they were like 14, 15, 16, 17, then they'd come back to us when they were like 18 or 19 again. It'd be like, actually, you know, I don't care. You know, I think there's this, this, this age group when I was certainly,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Young, when anything that was popular was uncool, kind of automatically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeah, it was kind of quite reason less often. It was quite kind of vague and it didn't necessarily have a lot of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's tough. It's tough being a hormonal 15 year old. I don't, yeah, so if you're, if


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But more seriously, if you do have some tough times, there are other phone numbers you can call who are properly trained for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit, that's hilarious. Oh shit. Right. Well, let's, let's leave it there. Thank you everyone for this question. Thank you for listening to the trifles broadcast. Hope you have a lovely day. Uh, think about your dad and then, and that kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, think about those things. Uh, liquor farting ass. Goodbye! Bye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I think that's a majority of like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, don't sell yourself short. I mean, I find it a riot, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's always got some sort of accent, like maybe he's from Russia or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, double tick, double tick, you're right. Uhm, yeah, so imagine I'm your landlord, I turn up and I say to you, listen buster, you better be reporting damp in the bathroom or guess, guess who's going downtown, to Chinatown, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you probably turn around and say, I didn't have a dad and I've always wanted someone to take me to Chinatown for a day out. So that's me. And you raise your hand and you realize, hang on a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not what this guy's talking about at all. And then I beat your ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your dad is like, oh my god, this guy has the same birthmark on his hand that I have. That means that we must be either related or maybe soulmates, but maybe being related is closer to the mark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't- you know what I think it is? I think, you know, you found your soulmate when you do that thing where you're like, yeah, and then I got on the bus and then I- and then the person's like, slipped. You're like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's exactly what happened. You know, like you complete each other's sentences and you just have this ability to like know what the person is thinking and how they feel and stuff. That's how you know. That's how you know you've got a soulmate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you a huge narcissist if you really love the smell of your own farts and are attracted to yourself based on that- on the smell of your own farts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I broke down on my driveway, I dropped down onto my knees, yeaah, I held my arms up in the air platoon style, it started raining, and I said, my whole life is a lie, I married for a green car, and then I realized, no hang on actually,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lewis is just like a bit of an angry man and that's not the case at all. Rain stopped, uh, I instantly dried off and went inside and I felt good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I joke about this sometimes with hat films, cause they're younger, right? And I always say like, they're a bunch of filthy millennials who are like entitled and they don't appreciate the good things and all this stuff. And like uhm, you know, the reality is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they're not that. Well, it's a weird thing, isn't it? You don't- when you're really young, you can tell when somebody's, you know, one or two years younger than you or, you know, five years younger than you. There's like huge difference. Oh yeah. In that. When you're older,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not much difference. You know, people sort of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In terms of like personality and sort of like things that you do and you're into, you kind of like plateau in your mid-twenties, don't you? You just sort of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So were they real friends or were they just like, uhm, like drug friends? Did you have any just drug friends? Like people that you would never invite over to your house or introduce to your parents or even really talk on the phone but people that you were more than happy to just like stand outside and smoke cigarettes with and stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you would have got done for the weed. Done for smoking, smoking the reflux. Oh man, you would have gone to jail. Cause that's really strict too. You know, if you get caught with doing a weed, you're fucking. Back then it was, it was prison time. It was prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all like bohemians and stuff too, aren't they? You know, millennials traditionally all wear turtlenecks, hang out in coffee shops, they have like a lot of apple products. Yeah, they're very lippy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would never fight back if they got mugged. Like this is the thing. Generation X.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're part of Generation X and you got mugged at knife point, you'd fuckin' fight back, okay? Because that's the generation that you're from. If you're a millennial,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're a pussy, okay? You get mugged at knife point, you're like crying and pissing your pants and you can't get your wallet out of your pocket fast enough to give it over and stuff. And that's the difference. That is the difference, yeaah. That's the difference right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad, who's like the president of a Fortune 500 company, cause everyone's dad is nowadays, aren't they? Everyone's dad is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't wait to tweet about this like, traumatic experience, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're a funny breed, aren't they, millennials? I mean, having said that, you know, we did sort of say that you are a millennial and you don't really do those things. It's weird how the generations, like, the labels for generations cut off at certain points because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say that you and I are from the same generation. You were born three years after me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, early 80s, going into like the 90s, growing up in the 90s and stuff. We're from like the same sort of generation, aren't we? But we're not classed as being part of the same generation, which I think is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinda sad, you know? It'd be like, if they had to put


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People from Generation X on a boat, and people from Millennials, uh, on a boat. We'd be standing at the dock thinking, oh cool, you know, we like grew up in the same time, and you know, we're familiar with the same things, we're gonna be totally on the same boat. And then no, we're on different boats. And then it's like the Titanic, we're crying and stuff at sea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Longing to be at each other's company because you're just going to be stuck with a bunch of crying millennials who are like trying to buy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I'm always overpowered though. Like I always carry the team when we play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's pretty typical of somebody who's like massively flawed would say that though, you know, because they wanna, you know, they wanna justify like why they're so shit at everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, let's compromise then. Let's say you're stranded on a desert island, but you have, like, uh, supernatural power as well. What would that power be, and what would you do to survive?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go on, fine, what's your stupid answer? Okay, my stupid answer is the ability to cause people to shit their pants whenever I want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's too, no, super power to create.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, okay, you can cure cancer with your hands, but it has a detriment on you though. It sucks the life out of you when you do it, okay? You being able to summon a bus,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever you want. What is the detriment to you? Like, maybe you have to have something where it's like, like you were saying before, like there has to be a great strength, but there has to be like a drawback to a weakness. So anything that you summon has to land on your head first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It like, it controls like the power creep of your ability, right? That's the point. You don't want it to get too out of control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's like the rarest thing on Earth, like, it's never a problem except for when some, some fuckin' bozo, yeaah, mines it from outer space and puts together a huge conspiracy against Superman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if she had, like, really important things to say to you, like, No. Louis, you're inheriting the family fortune. Okay, there wasn't anything important. Don't piss it away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but the thing with dads is that, I don't know about your dad, but like, my dad never said anything, so when he did say something, you knew you had to listen, because it was like gonna be profound or important or whatever, but like with your mom,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mums just talk all the time, don't they? They tell you about all this crap that you don't want to know and stuff. So, when something serious happens, you're still not listening to them? That's right. It's like the boy who cried wolf, that's right. That's exactly what it's like, yeaah. It's exactly like that, the boy who cried wolf. Oh my god. He cried wolf so many times, nobody...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the thing is, I just wanted to sort of say like, you know, you clearly like Woken, and I feel like maybe now, people who really like Bowie and were really upset.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that you were almost making fun of the fact that he died by doing the singing voice thing to offend them. Now they can get a little bit of sort of vengeance back on you because-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it just me or did they- You know when Terry Wogan left BBC 2, Radio 2? Yeah. Uhm, they found a guy who sounded exactly like him to replace him. Did you notice that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I mean, I don't watch that much of their stuff, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You seem like really sort of beat up about this. I'm surprised actually. I figured that you were just like really angry, cynical, and you didn't really care about anything, but now, sort of turns out that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You sorta had like some secret obsession with Wogan or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you're just feeling a bit down and like the whole sort of wogan thing has, you know, revived some old feelings in you or something? Uhm, no. I'm surprised man, I didn't think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today so far has been a poop-free day. It's been nice. I haven't done a poop myself because I don't poop in the morning and I haven't had to deal with a baby's poop either. It's been pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think before we carry on, we need to say a quick thank you to our sponsor, which is uh, Visit the UK 2016, the uh, the travel board. Kindly sponsored us our little chat this morning, which almost deviated to poop, but now has turned into a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's sort of weird, come visit Britain, whether it's really nice here. Well, it's summer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember how nice the weather was when you came to visit in the summer? Holy shit. Oh, it was so nice. Oh god, the weather was crazy. We were outside like in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kind of felt like that this morning when I woke up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's playing uhm, fuck. I don't know if you do this, Kate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Re- reason with me a minute, or listen to me, or something, because I'm half paying attention. Sure. But, uhm, do you do this thing where you're like, I feel like I need to just get stuck into something, and like, sometimes that thing is just a really crappy iOS game that you randomly find on the app store. Do you ever do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, go on, because I'm already addicted to a couple actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, only since yesterday, but that's enough for me anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dinner. Crack for your lunch. No, anyway, so I went onto the, uhm, onto the Apple Store thing and I was like, fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just wanted like a game, cause I was playing this game called Tap Tycoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tap taikud, okay, which is terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I really like that as well. So Tap Tycoon is one of these games where you have to like furiously tap your screen like an asshole for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rest of your life and your hands get sore doing it. Wow. To make money. Yeah. So I, so in the end I thought, fuck this, I'm not playing this one anymore. I'm gonna move on to like something a bit better. But I like games where you build stuff and there's like some progress and whatever, you know, like kinda like city builders, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, buy a key for 500 bucks and then uhm, you know, you can speed up building a school or whatever. I didn't want to do any of that either. But then I did opt for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well anyway, we'll, uh, we'll talk to you next time more about my obsessions with iOS games, crappy eyes, cause there's another one as well that I play like in between, cause one is never enough, right? Cause you always run out of things to do in one, so you need like a backup. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you switch between them? Yeah, you rotate around like during the day. So I'll tell you what my other one is next time. Team... Dribbling... Doggy. Bye. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Louis is mad because I ended the last episode without using the team double dragon generator. I don't have it open, Louis. I'm busy trying to win. Team dispassionate drywall. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Team dispassionate drywall, that sounds good to me. Anyway, we're back. Uhm, we were talking about iOS games and the games that we all love to hate to play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wogan. You were getting all depressed about Wogan, and it wasn't becoming of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't say that. You can't say that. The problem with Radio 1 is they play all this music that I have no idea what it is. You know, like, it's all- And here's the latest from Superzoomers Zoomer 5 million and it's Dubstep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm just like, what the fuck is this? It's like, alright everybody, get ready for breakfast, let's listen to Dubstep. Well, what, what, what, what, what, well, well, and I'm just like, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean for us it was Smells Like Teen Spirit. That was on loop a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, nothing like that, no. It was just, we had, you know, I had one of those cassette players, like a double, so you could tape other cassettes on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Piracy. Yeah, it was like early piracy. And uhm, so basically- Home!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, so you'd borrow the tape from your friend or whatever and then you'd be like, just lend it to me tonight so I can tape it. And then you'd tape it onto your own cassette and you'd like photocopy like the album art and stuff to make it like almost like you have the tape but it's not quite the tape sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever make a mixtape and give it to a friend? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like a ton of Little Richard on there for some reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking, I don't know, we were talking about this yesterday, we were saying, I was talking to Shin and Alex about it. And we were saying, remember when Napster first came out? And I was saying, yea, I remember when it came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when it came out and I downloaded Napster for the first time and searched for a song, I think the first song I searched for was You Can't Touch This by MC Hammer. Okay. And it was just sort of like to show my household that I had this ability now to obtain


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Random music whenever I wanted to. And like I didn't have to own the CD or go out and buy anything. Like I could just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Download this music and everybody was like so fucking blown away. They were like what the hell and here we are the whole house listening to you can't touch this by MC Hammer on full blast like out of my computer and then that sort of, you know, prompted this whole like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like these are my parents asking for all this stuff. And they're, you know, they're like, oh, find this one obscure song that I don't have like on a CD somewhere or whatever. And it was like this huge thing, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody was like, oh my god, we can listen to whatever music we want to whenever we want to. We don't have to have like a gigantic cabinet filled with CDs and stuff like that. And it was pretty exciting. Napster coming out was huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got an MC Hammer at my fingertips here, everybody. What do you think about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, all the time. God, yeah. Like, even now to this day, like, I have a pretty cool job now, and like, still I'm like, finding reasons to like, not do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and oh no, all the time, like at least once a month, I would be like, fuck this. I need to stay home and play WoW.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't even see, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll go to the doctor's tomorrow if it's not better. I might need three days off, because that's like the standard thing at a job, isn't it? You know, like, they'll give you like three days off without needing a doctor's note.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing, I think your average job, like most companies and places and managers and in my experience, you know, they value you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Occupying a seat and being there more so than you actually doing any work. Like, it's a weird thing, isn't it? It's like, we need you here in case something happens, but you know, if nothing happens, then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want you around so you can have coffee with you and stuff. Like, you know what I mean? It's like such a weird thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to always think like, just fucking, let me come in, do my work. If it takes me an hour to do my work, I'll go home and, you know, rest and then I'll come back ready for more work next time sort of thing. But you had to like do your nine hours a day or whatever it is and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, the Augscast has a whole bunch of very exciting job openings, uh, for potential candidates. If you'd like to send your CV to, uhm, Louis Brinley at, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tinder.com. You can, um, you can send him all of your, all of your skills and abilities and I'm sure he'd be pleased to consider you for a future position, um, with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To make room for those massive massive breasts. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But maybe you have like, maybe, maybe it's like a system in certain houses where it's like, yeaah, I lock the bathroom door, there's no way for me to unlock it, but I always have a buddy that can unlock it for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whether that be your dad or your mom or cousin or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody comes along and they're like, eh, what's going on here? And then they see like, oh shit, somebody died in the crapper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Advanced Rigor Mortis and all that, they've been dead for a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That kind of reminds me of, have you ever seen that documentary about that woman who died in her apartment and she was dead for like three years before anybody found her? And she was still watching television. And the TV was still on? That was the fucking creepiest shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can just about handle somebody dying and being dead for three years or whatever, but when the TV is on and like you think over the past three years, like all the stuff that would have been on TV, that creeped me the fuck out actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just thought, and like, her heaters were still on and stuff, like, oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a bit of a shame when some people do it as well, cause some people...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people have aged well and would look alright without it, but you can tell that they've still had it done anyway, for whatever reason. And it's like, why did you do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I didn't have much then, I just had a little pinch. And it's like, well...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that little pinch now has made you look like a clown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe we can call you Pinchy. Pinchy the Clown. You know, it's like, sometimes it's a bit of a shame, you know, like, I find that it's definitely more so women than men. It's very rare that you see a man with like, excessive cosmetic surgery, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Liz Hurley has aged phenomenally. Like, she still looks like she's 20.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I don't know. Even if she has those, I think it's subtle. Like, it doesn't look too bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A bit of the old this and that. I don't know if she has, you know. I don't know if she's... Maybe she has, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, is that one from, uhm, The Walking Dead?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's not Maggie Smith. My dad. I mean my dad's not British though, is it a British woman? That only British people know about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A british woman, woman for british men only?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but, uh, lizards have feelings too, and they need lovers as well, Louis. Yeah, maybe they're tra-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make 2016 the year that you finally love a lizard. Love a lizard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is- Lizard love is driving me mad. It's making me crazy, crazy, huh. Lizard- I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's bullshit. I don't think that ever hold up in a court of law, for example. Like, I think maybe like, for alibi purposes you could be like, I was locked in my bathroom and here my dad can testify to that because he spent three hours trying to get me out. Yeaah. But the bank holiday thing, I don't think it works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you'd just get off, like, at the next stop, wouldn't you? Like, you wouldn't have to go straight to London. I mean, that's stupid. That's dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck, one time I fell asleep on the bus, I had an exam at school, fell asleep on the bus, and I woke up, and I was like, at the other end of the city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was late for my exam and I was like, oh shit. It's not actually a really interesting story though, because in the end, I just got to the exam a little bit late. They let me sit it when I passed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You woke up in crew. I was like fuck. Were you wearing pants?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At first I thought you said Peru, and that's why I was like, woah, that's nuts, how the hell would you have to take that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too many marmalade sandwiches and fucking one thing led to another. Next thing you know, we're in deepest, darkest Peru. Shit, that was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're pretty good actually, cause sometimes you don't realize it, but actually it's late in the day and fuck all you want is a breakfast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's nothing more disappointing, I don't think, than turning up to a place, wanting a breakfast, and then somebody turn around and be like, oh, we stopped serving breakfast approximately 50 seconds ago, so uh, couldn't possibly cook you an egg. No. But it's stupid, because it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We stopped serving breakfast, but you can still get like an egg sandwich, you can still get a bacon sandwich, you can still get like a sausage, so all this stuff basically that goes into a breakfast, they're still making, they're just not making it in that specific format, which I find bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another guy, breakfast guide to, uh, work longer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think the last time I ate at McDonald's was literally when I was like 12 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically what you're saying is you read every reddit thread as a whining complaint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Excellent. Now you can have breakfast. Oh, damn day. It's gonna be like really, it's gonna be really exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the uhm. They gotta get on the horn to me next. The classic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because that's the thing, they're like, what did you eat today? And they're like, well, you know, I had a salad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a Nutri-Grain bar and stuff, and you think, hang on a second, you know, that's all this person's eaten, how come they're so fat? But it's what they're not telling you, and that's that they're waking up in the middle of the night and eating like 10 gallons of ice cream, but they don't count that as food for the day, and they don't realize it. And that's the worrying thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just- I didn't eat that, it just sort of melted all over me and then dripped into my mouth. But I didn't- I didn't mean to eat it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they say that like, like, coke and stuff is the worst for gaining weight, like if you drink a lot of coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but, you know, naturally occurring sugar and fruit and fruit juices is not as bad as


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, it's not the same, and it's not the same amount either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, if you're listening to this right now, don't let Lewis convince you that eating fruit is bad, because it's not, okay? Eat fruit, and don't drink coke, and you'll be healthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like smoothies and fruit juices and stuff came about because of just the way that we live now though. You know, like just the way that we are. Because nobody really wants- eating healthy is such a huge lifestyle change. Nobody wants to commit to it, right? Everybody wants to- every- like, people want to get it over with, and that's why it's like, well I could just drink one


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the mentality. But it doesn't work, you know? It's like a whole lifestyle change, isn't it? Like, you can't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, you can't cheat health like that. You can't do it. No. So if you're trying to like, cheat it, you gotta think again, Jack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, but processed food is infinitely worse for you than sugar that occurs naturally in like fruits and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of sugared stuff that you wouldn't expect it to be in though, it's true. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta consider how many calories you're burning in a day as well, though, too. I mean, if you're not very active, it's not gonna be many, but simple things add up over the course of a day to actually burn off quite a few calories, too. You don't always realize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I'm lucky, I'm just genetically predisposed to be just buff as shit. Like, I don't work out at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, I'm ripped to the gills. Like, it's crazy. I don't even know how I do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a lot of sit-ups. A lot of sit-ups, yeah. It's like, you can see it in my abs too. Like, my abs are the abs of a guy who's at least done 365 sit-ups in a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is the motion of actually hoisting myself out of bed, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's the thing, never underestimate just your day to day. You know, go to the gym, fine, but don't forget, you're getting at least one free sit up a day. Just by getting out of bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, it's a lifestyle choice, right? You have to want to be healthy, but you have to live being healthy. Like you can't just, you can't game it. You know, you can't count calories and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a super smoothie to be healthy sort of thing. You have to like, be active, eat right, you know, eat fresh. You should always eat fresh food. You should always make your own food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make it, eat it as fresh as you can. Uhm, thanks, big thanks to Subway for sponsoring our little chat today and Fitness First as well. And uhm, be safe, always brush your teeth, tie your shoelaces, and wear a coat when it's cold outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is. I went to Disney World one time and had a salad there and honestly it was as good as eating an ice cream. It was so fucking good, but like the dressing was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no. Maybe every other day. Yeah. To start with. Yeah, to start with and work your way there. It's a slow...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, for more health tips and general well-being, uh, you can visit our, uhm, health blog? Healthspot, sir?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if, obviously it goes without saying that if you truly do want to be healthy, don't take our advice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, uh, you will have less existential dread. It won't hit you every single week. It'll only be every second week. But with that all said- Well, what did you think about that theory? It was just one big theory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you know, if we recorded this exactly in a week from now, which is, uhm, you know, cause we record before it goes live, it would have been April fools and everyone would be wondering if you were serious or not. That would have been funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, anyway, let's get into some Elder Scrolls theories that you have all sent in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one at the top of our last theories video is by Michael Yeats and it says, here's a small theory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Osma don't have shorter maximum lifespans than other mer, it's just exceptionally rare for orcs to live hundreds of years due to their brutal lifestyles, temperaments, and culture leading to violent early deaths. The strongest evidence for this theory is Ura Groshab, the Librarian of the Arkanium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some dialogue, some dialogue from Urag indicates that he's hundreds of years old. For example, if the PC, the player character says to Urag, you take your work very seriously, he'll respond by saying this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean, he does, if you do ask him about, um, he goes, a mage is only as good as what he knows. I try and make sure as much knowledge is available as possible. We've been keeping this collection since the second era. Books have come and gone during that time, but it's mostly intact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now obviously anyone could say that, you know, like you go and work for a business that's been around for a hundred years and people say, oh, you know, back in 1910, we did this, but it's, you know, it's a 30 year old speaking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in combination with the like, if I didn't, most of these books would have been burned, uh, to nothing before the third era. It is, it is quite interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, to be fair though, right? We're not trying to say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All- I guess the evidence indicates that all orcs would have to live a long time. It must have something to do with magic in the Librarian's case. But in general, there's not- I wouldn't say there's strong proof that they don't live as long as elves. Like if you're playing the games and you meet elves, you don't know how old they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you can't, you know, you know what I mean? Like when you're talking about like, oh, um, how they look as they age and how that kind of differs, like you may, might look young when you're 120.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is beyond even the lifespan that a natural elf would have without magic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he does say that the library is like his own plane of oblivion. So, uh, maybe he's a Daedric Prince.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other thing, the other thing I'll just jump in and say is like, it's not just the Cyrodiil order of vampires that can conceal their appearance. Like, the whole idea in Skyrim, when you have those vampires that live out at that mill, the ones I'm pretty sure you go kill them for the Dark Brotherhood quest,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not meant to be able to tell- The Dawnguard DLC gave everyone glowing Super Saiyan eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, you couldn't really hide being a vampire as much anymore. But before that, it was like, you couldn't tell so easily. You know? And I kind of preferred that. I almost think it would be nicer if it's a Volcahar thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it kinda like, you know, denotes, like, this is a more powerful, dangerous vampire. They've got orange glowing eyes. They would struggle to blend into society more because it would stand out. Anyway, you get, you get what I'm saying, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But does it though? Cause they've been around for a long time, this order, like they're not brand new. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeah, it's one of those things where it's like, it's not like a bad theory. It's just, there's not enough juice to make it feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a bit of a like, source bro thing, but uhm, where is the source for the thing? It may be true, but I can't find him tempting, by trying to tempt the dunma into treachery is how he


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tests them. I know he does test them for mental weakness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About tre- about treachery, yea. But it may be true, like, don't take my word for it, I'm just saying. I mean yea, like a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. That's it. What a zinger. That's the real tribunal. You've got Maek, who is Rajin. You've got Shay Agorath and he's cheese. And who's the third character that we could have?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Urag the Librarian. Who is also a Daedric Prince.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If only. So Autumn Apple has a theory. Uh, the heart of Lorcan is a massive black soul gem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lohkan's soul or a portion of it was trapped inside his heart when it was cast down to Red Mountain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is how it can give godly power to those using it, such as the tribunal. This is also how it could be used to power the Numidium. We've seen soul gems or souls used to power similar golem-like or mechanical beings and creations before. When Kagranak struck the heart with the tools he created, the entire Dwemer race was soul-trapped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If Malon Varin was able to exist within the Corrupted Black Star, so this is, you know, the evil mage from Azura's quest in Skyrim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is plausible that the Dwemer could be existing in a similar manner within Lorkhan's heart. Even though it's believed that the Nerevarine destroyed the heart, it's very possible that they simply banished it elsewhere or into oblivion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Septimus Cygnus believed the heart was inside the lockbox, which it wasn't, but if we assume that Hamaeus Mora fed him this idea, does this mean he knows of the heart's location?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, sorry, right, but you could trap a mortal soul in a Morrowind soldier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, hold on, when I look at the description for Morrowind, it says soul gems are gems that contain the souls of living creatures through the use of the spell soul trap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess the point is like as far as these regular looking soul gems go, the black ones can absorb mortal souls and the other ones can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe because they're blessed by Manamaco, who's a necromancer and is involved with mortal spirits and reanimating them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because interestingly, liches use a phylactery to like, kind of like put their souls or the souls of other people into, uhm, but they don't have to be gems necessarily, like they can just be like artifacts even, uhm, or you know, or an hourglass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost like the ideal masters are just good businessmen and they created a receptacle. Patent and uh, uh, pep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I meant to say. And it's a soul gem and they're all identical, there's different sizes and makes and you can find them around and they're the go-to receptacle for mages. And they like that because it feeds them souls. But all other receptacles don't really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, to be fair, the Elder Scrolls really do look like some metaphysical blueprints, don't they? Like, they look very, um, you know, here's my blueprint and you open it up and it's got all the info on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it makes sense. Well, the next theory looks super kind of like complicated, but we're gonna try it anyway by Psychofang Senpai.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was hoping my theory would have been covered, but in a way I'm glad it wasn't since I've thought of more to add on to the initial premise. The original theory was that the last dragonborn achieves Draco Chrysalis and goes on to mantle Alduin at the end of the day- of days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought this idea seemed fitting based off the sole premise of acting as balancing force in brackets row force to ensure the kalpa's survival until the time in which you must serve as the final push, dar, that ushers into it into the next cycle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems commonplace that the protagonists of at least the recent Elder Scrolls games go on to attain some form of immortality, and this theory may even be hinted at by the canon itself. We know The Last Dragonborn develops their mastery of the Thorn to the point that its power surpasses that of any other dragon, to the point that Oda Ving pledges allegiance to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Given time, more and more and more dragons may come to bow to your power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Time the Dovahkiin may have an abundance of thanks to vampirism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, though the developers have not canonized whether the player sides with the Dawnguard or the Volcar, we can assume from the promotional material for the DLC,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That the last dragonborn was at least intended to contract vampirism. While this could be chalked up to the marketing power of the vampire lord, it's worth noticing that the choice is given to you twice and the game actively punishes you for not accepting it the second time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I'm so hardcoded to see all this as just roleplaying stuff and not like punished or not punished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the grammar here sometimes just breaks down. It's not me, believe it or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it makes sense. The theory ends by basically saying that the Dragonborn would use all the knowledge they've obtained to basically mantle Alduin and become the World Eater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and basically parallel Alduin's role in existence and try to escape Mora and then-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why not? I could do a whole episode by myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not because I love Maik, it's just that now in making this video I've had to learn every single thing about him, I've had to learn every single theory and every angle of it. Like, you know, my own theory that I put forth in the video I'm making is kind of fun, like, you can't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 100% certainty say he's any- anything, really. Like, all- there's multiple theories that have, you know, decent points to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, not really, like, they're all, I mean, like, he's achieved Kim, or the, I mean, I don't even talk about that, there's the idea that he is the dreamer, um, I guess, but, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but he has his own, he has his own life outside of the player though. I mean he goes, seems to go to pocket realms of oblivion and have different, like he has a flute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold up, people always say the three of us are the tribunal. And like which character are they? Who are we all in the holy trinity of cringe? Let us know. Who do you think you are?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always Scott that starts it, so he'll have to be the leader of his trinity. Who would you be, out of Maik, uh, Sheogorath, and the adoring fan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmhm. But just keep watching Fudgemump's videos, put them on auto, put them on auto.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, next theory, Michael, hit us up. I'm looking and I found the next ones in my ink theory, so you don't want that, let's get it. No, you don't want it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, gentlemen, I think a great thing to do would be to hit this comment, which is Theory Lightning Round. It's got six theories in one and they're all extremely short without elaboration. So we can hit them fast and you can say what you think. It's by Alamedikson. Yeah, Alamedikson. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Goblins are degenerated slash corrupted mer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it seems like goblins have been around before, like in other areas, or like it just gets difficult to say. You know, like. Yea, but I guess it's the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and they all became goblins basically. Some of them did. I mean it's possible. Anyway. I think it's unlikely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aside from all the points being said, the whole idea that the dragonborn is a chezereine isn't really like a super deep, like it's a very well, like known, it's a commonly believed theory. Like that, that's definitely out there. Um, I mean, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four. The hero of Kivach is a Shezareen too. He fulfills the role of Pelinal Whitestrike, a theorized avatar of shore. You're a Shezareen! You're a Shezareen! So, fulfills Pelinal's role, a theorized avatar of shore, and mantles Shere Gorath, who is said to have been born from the void left behind when Lorkhan lost his divine spark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Asking everyone to elaborate so much on their theories, because we just got hit with walls of text, so that's our fault. No, I think they were good, I think they were good. It's kind of, it's refreshing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To have the short, the short as hell ones. It's almost like a blend between like, uh, elaborate, but make it as concise as you can with the elaboration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meet me too, because when you hear Hero of Kvatch, that's what you think of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you like that? Hey look, what if they got sucked into this realm and then became those big floating soul gems and they rule it now? How about that? Yeah. Nah, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then before you know it, you'll be talking about- You know what, are you- The master from Fallout is like, an avatar of some god from Elder Scrolls- But, I actually-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey look, my ache was just an easter egg and now he's officially Rajin. So like, you know, sometimes theories become canon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, we could try it. Let us know if you want that big pile of cringe. And number six of the theory lightning round is, Koda is canon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's also interesting that some get added, like, you know, like the giant stuff, like all the stuff that got added in Skyrim that wasn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Alright. Do we have any other theories we wanna hear in this episode?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't need that extra pressure. I got two kids, I got a wife, I got a job and a family. I don't need no pesky job interview pressure from you, you son of a bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think about this from time to time and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The past four years of playing games, uhm, on the internet for a living have made me not give a fuck at all about, like, the future. Like, if it all dries up and I have to go back to a job or whatever, fuck it. I don't give a shit. Like, I'll work it. What are you gonna do? I don't care. Like, honestly. Like, I could care less. I will not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I've worked with people like that. Like, all the places I used to work at, I was like, aw shit, you know, it's important, it's a career, I gotta like, do well, I have to like, progress and stuff, and like, none of that shit matters. Yeah. At like, those jobs. Like, it's, it's who you know, it's who you went to school with, or like, if you fucking fit in with like, these weird, awkward, fucking middle-aged people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Such as myself. Uhm, you know what I mean? And that's how you get ahead and that's how you get your opportunities and stuff. Doesn't matter how hard you work or how much you care or don't care or whatever. So, if I ever have to go back to work, my motto is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck the world! I think the older you get, the less of a fuck you give as well, so it's like, whatever. Yeah, that's where I'm headed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feels like I have been out of work though. Like it is a totally different mindset, just like sitting in your dad pad, playing video games all day, rather than, you know, fucking talking about TPS reports with Jenny from accounts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Goldsips, you start. I got a couple of new computer games. I'm playing those. Oh, for crying out loud. Sure. What about you, PFLAX?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well first of all, it's been that kind of year, man, games. I know that PFLAX you went to Malta to play poker. Oh yea, this is an exciting story. Fill us in. That does sound like crazy. Fill in the cracks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Wreckful does play like poker online and stuff a lot while streaming. Like he'll have Hearthstone open in a half window and then some fucking poker game open in the other and that's like his part of his thing sort of thing. Like he's mad into like card games and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that's what it was and they just like fell out of favor and they just haven't touched it since sort of thing. Yeah, I think so. Locked in the past. Uhm, you know, on the topic of strip clubs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to work at this place and we had clients that came in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, well, everyday sort of thing. And you know, I used to have to like speak to them and find out what kind of stuff they wanted or whatever. And uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had this one guy who's like, you know, he's, he'd come in and he'd be like, oh, you know, like he would talk about like his family from time to time and stuff. And you just sort of like, you know, from working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alongside him and, you know, taking his requirements and, and, and shit like that. You just sort of get to know these people, like superficially, right? But you know, like bits and pieces about them and you form some sort of opinion about them based on that kind of stuff. So he was just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seemed like a really sort of straight family guy, you know, like didn't, didn't seem like the kind of guy that would really go out and like drink a lot or, or do anything other than, you know, fucking mow his lawn on the weekend and spend time with his kids and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just shit like that, right? He came in one time and I was like, oh, you know, I've got to go to fucking, I think it was like Birmingham or something. I had to go there for work for like two days the week after. So we were just chatting and I said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you know, I got to go to Birmingham or whatever. He's like, Oh, let me give you an address to like the best strip club I've ever been to. I was, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if I go away for work or whatever, I go in there and, oh man, we spent so much money there, but oh, it's worth it, it's so fun and everything. It was like, woah, I like my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My fucking world was like upside down cause like I had this guy pegged as just like, uh, you know, like I, I assume that maybe just like went to church and stuff and maybe he does. Right. And he just likes to go to a strip club anyway, but it's weird, right? Because it's a weird thing to say to somebody that you don't really know super well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of embarrassing going to a strip club, isn't it? Like- Especially on your own, yeah, Jesus. Well yeah, like totally by myself. Like I wasn't traveling with anybody for this work trip, so like, just turn up and like, yay ladies, it's me, just on my own, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, it was just so, it's just such a fucking weird thing, like, I just, I couldn't really believe it. And then, I don't think I ever looked at the guy the same again, like, I just thought he was a bit of a fucking deviant after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever been to one, Louis? No? Never. I've never been. Have you been to one, Sips? Yeah, a couple of times. Okay. I went, like, the first time we ever went was, it was my friend's birthday. He'd just turned 18, okay? Right. And then, so we went across the river, cause where I grew up,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got Ontario and in Ottawa is very close to the province of Quebec. It's like right across the river.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And their age laws and everything are different over there. So we, we could go there a year early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we felt like driving there to get alcohol and go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, one of those fucking shaping moments of your life, right? Now I'm here talking to you guys about it, and I feel pretty good about the whole thing, so there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well those are the most likely people that go to a strip club too, right? If like, stereotypes and stuff, you know, like, big jocks just wanna like, ogle at girls and play FIFA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be a hard song to strip to as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, like I went to Amsterdam a couple years ago with my friends, met them there, uhm, cause they came like to Amsterdam from Canada, so it was like a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not so much of a big deal because Amsterdam's not that far from here sort of thing. And I'd been a couple times before. So I met them and we went to Amsterdam and we did all the stuff that you end up doing in Amsterdam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We tried to go to the Heineken Museum at like 4 in the morning and it was obviously closed. We spent a lot of time in the red light district and there's strip clubs in the red light district and I always just thought


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the point of a strip club in the red light district in Amsterdam? Cause like, you can just go next door and pay to have sex with somebody if you really wanted to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We spent an awful lot of time in the red light district, yea. I think actually we spent the whole time there just because it's kind of a nice place to walk around and stuff too. It's like pretty like vibrant and active.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You really do get proposition for Class A drugs. Yeaah. Literally every second. Yeaah, it's kinda busy. It's crazy.


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[Assistant] It's weird because they have like these big theatres with like a live sex show that you can go in and watch. So we turned up to one and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you, you do a lot of drinking when you're there too. Of course. And some, and whatever. And so we turn up to this place and there's this tour bus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's like families, like tons of Japanese people piling out of this tour bus going to a live sex show together. Like it was crazy. There was like old people, young people, like whatever. They were just like so pleased to be there and just so excited that these people were gonna have sex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it could be, could be gone and lost forever, but it may come back and it may be better than ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, with a lot of these places, like closed refurbishment means that like they're no longer able to launder drug money through it. So they just closed it and they've sold the property and then they'll knock it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Maybe we should open a strip club. Makes you think. Yeah, maybe we should actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could apply for a license to convert my garage that I use as a studio right now into a strip club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, okay. Yea, for the rugby crowd. Do you think women go for that, that, like, as much as men go for it sort of thing? They do as a group. As a group, yea. Like on a hen party or whatever. I think yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was good. It was just a nice, nice wholesome family vacation for a week. We went to Center Parks, uh, in the UK. It was really nice. It was a nice break. Which one? We went to the one in Longleat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the magnitude of a second, we would not have gotten home until like Sunday instead of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's like all of my karma bank is like depleted now, like I have to like re restore it now because I pretty much used it all up just to get onto that fucking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's nuts. It's like a dirt fucking road. Like from the city to the airport that every car in the world needs to be on at that time. So it's like impossible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's the start of the end. It's probably not going to be a direct flight to Bristol anymore. I'll probably have to like fly to fucking Amsterdam first.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you wouldn't even need a license or anything. Just get a stage and a pole set up on the stern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and three strikes and you're out too in America. So like, if you get arrested three times for shoplifting, death row motherfucker, you're dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It happened to, uhm, Kutra and the creatures, you know, like Uber, Haxonova and all those guys? Yeaah. Do you remember that one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were streaming and like the SWAT team had their like fucking, you know, when they hold your head down on the floor with their foot and stuff and point a gun at you and everything, it was really bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why we have a strict no dog policy at Yog Towers. We don't want a dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all of those replica medieval weapons too, like the swords and stuff. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy. Hey listen, before we start talking about anything else, I just want to apologize, there's a man working on my roof, my dad pad, garage roof, is being fixed, and there's a guy up there right now, you can probably hear him from time to time banging away and stuff, but yea, so if you hear like weird


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know what he's doing up there, but it's all good, I hope, anyway. He hasn't fallen through or anything, so. That's a good thing. But yeah, that is happening, so I apologize for the noise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The roof need to be fixed because basically the roof on this garage has not been touched since the 1960s and it was, uh, made, uh, it's like a rubberoid roof, you know, like rubberoid, that fucking weird, um, felty-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That weird, like, felty sort of fucking rubbery shit that they used to put on roofs, like, way back in the day, uh, that, like, melts a bit in the sun and stinks a bit and they, like, stuck it down to the building with tar and all that kind of stuff. What the fuck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like the new thing now is like fiberglass, right? And it's like this, it's this coating that you, you know, you sort of paint over like a wood finish or whatever and it's like super duper fucking waterproof and it doesn't melt in the sun and it's got all these benefits, got like a good like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, like the stuff that's going on there now has got like a 20 year warranty and stuff, so it's like, really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like the depths of that shit, yea. It's been like three days of this. Anyway, the Finnish stinks too. It's like resin based, so it really fucking stinks and I'm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sitting in here, in this enclosed space, and like, I don't know if I'm gonna die in the next couple of minutes or not, cause it's really overwhelming. Like, it fucking stinks. It's too noisy out there, the door has to stay closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what my daughter has started doing recently? Like she...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like when, when a baby learns to like, um, grab things and grip them, but they don't understand their own strength at all and they don't really know what they're doing. So she,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause I thought that your protective, like, thing in your ears was wax, right? Wax like traps the shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a huge drain on the NHS as well. Like they get kids in there every day with like fucking Q-tips shoved up their noses and stuff and like, you know, there's people. Q-tips are not for shoving in anything. No, no. That's not what they're for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, the pain already, like just imagining. It's very sensitive down there, of course. And it's like even the thought of something hitting you in the dick hole or in the balls is enough to send any man into like a blind panic sort of thing, shoving 180 darts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, uh, you can see why like those jock straps are so popular, like the ones with the cup, you know, like they protect everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then, like, inconspicuously so that you didn't look like you were some panicking guy who lost his diary in a suitcase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, like, I don't know how I feel about pranks. Like, I like like, like little jokes, you know, like, you know, when somebody says like, hey, uhm, is the car here? And you say no, but it's actually here and stuff. Like, I don't mind stuff like that, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, like, like, you know, the game starring Michael Douglas, that's taking pranks too far. That's too far. That's way too far. That's too far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he was really fearing for his life legitimately at various points in that movie and then at the end it's like, huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're designed to hold lots of stuff, so you know, they have to be sturdy and whatever, and if that falls and hits you on the head, then there might be a lawsuit in there somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That reminds me actually, I was in the airport, sorry to interrupt, but I was in the airport and I was looking at the children's books and lo and behold, there was Harry Potter. So if you ever need, um, proof that they are indeed children's books, well, they were in the children's book section. So that would signify to me that they are indeed children's books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They ain't for their kids, you know, cause like, you have to. Cause like, they'll, they will not shut up. They ain't for their kids. Yea, they ain't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we went to Universal, uhm, after Blizzcon, like two years ago, they were still building all that Harry Potter shit. Uhm, so I guess it's done now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, the minions was another one, kind of like what Lewis is saying about, um, Harry Potter and stuff, where the, they, they were originally


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, like, the comic relief, I guess, in, in Despicable Me and Despicable Me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty good. Like maybe like dodge the bullet there or whatever, but holy shit, like every fucking toy store you went into leading up to that movie coming out was just like, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The same as the Harry Potter shit, it was like minions EVERYTHING, like fuckin', those like, they had those little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean the thing is now though, I don't know like how often you go into toy stores, but like new stuff has come out and is obviously better than all of this minions junk. So all of the bargain bins are filled with all of this fucking minions shit, you know, like it's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't fucking despise the minions. I don't love them either. Like, to me they're okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not, they're obnoxious, yeaah, but they're not like overly, like there's definitely worse out there, I would say. Like, My Little Pony's still fucking going, I think that they're fucking obnoxious as hell. Like, and they're having like a comeback now, you can buy toys of them again and everything. Is this new to you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is new to me now, yeaah, because we, cause now that we have a daughter, we're sort of like starting to look at girls toys, but like we never had to before with my son. Cause he would just, we'd walk into a toy shop and he would just like beeline for fucking Power Rangers and whatever, you know? So like yeaah, it is new to me now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I did that with Duncan last time I went to LA with him. We went to, we went to like a pharmacy that sold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, what are you talking about? Like have you ever seen hamburger, like meat, like uncooked? It's pink as shit, man. Like it's not well, like anywhere close to well done. I think legitimately you asked for well done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got really fucking shirty about it, but it was okay in the end. Thankfully. There was no scene caused. He picked it out. He picked it out. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get like some asparagus and it's fucking wrapped in bacon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit. I mean, don't get me wrong, like, bacon is, like, I remember, like, when I used to eat meat, having bacon and stuff. Bacon's good, but like, fuck, I wouldn't put bacon on everything. I'd put ketchup on everything gladly, but like, not bacon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, the amount of times I've walked by somebody looking at a laptop hoping that that would happen, like, did he, does he realize that that's like a pretty big thing? Yeah. I mean, that's not something that happens to everybody in their lifetime and it's happened to him. Like, does he realize how lucky he is to have seen


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or at least caught a glimpse of somebody just being a massive degenerate in public.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adventure is the thing. It does happen to people. Maybe he's like, maybe he's, maybe he's got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She doesn't actually look fake enough, uhm, it's just what you can do. And uhm, you know, there she was in the hotel lobby, just editing her, editing her butt off to get, to make that deadline. You never know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the opposite for me. Like, I love the routine. When you're out of the routine, it's like, wow, what the fuck? Like, what am I doing? It's all new stuff and everything. Like, I'm happy with the routine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like, there's no chance of those things happening in my life right now, so I'm totally fine with the routine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I haven't played it in, in some time now, but yeah, I think it's fully released. It's, it's a fun game, it's cool if you like that kind of thing, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, a bit of like a tycoon sort of kind of game. But the graphics are, they're okay. It's a bit weird. It's like, it almost, it seems like, like it reminds me a bit of like Minecraft sort of, like the, like graphics wise. But yeah, I mean the goal is you just like run a shop, a medieval shop, people come in and buy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You try to make some money off them and expand your shop and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you bought 11 games and you played none of them, so you're not actually playing anything currently?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been playing Overwatch. Like, I don't even know if I've really been enjoying it, but I've been playing it a lot. It's fun!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like typical polished Blizzard game, it feels very nice, it, you know, plays very nice and everything. Agreed. I'm not sure, like, what the future holds for it, like, I don't know what their plans are, I guess there'll be new game modes and maps and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eventually heroes and shit, but uhm, so far so good. It's pretty good. It's pretty fun. A lot of people are raving on about it. I don't know if like I feel that strongly about it, but I don't hate it as much as I thought I was going to after playing in the closed beta. So at least that's something I guess, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like uhm, it feels like one of those games that I'll play as like, while I'm waiting for something else, uhm, better to come out, sort of thing, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I'll probably stop playing it, you know, when Legion comes out or something, I don't know. Like, that's probably a bad example, because I probably won't play Legion for longer than like two weeks either, but uhm, you know, like, something else will probably come out and I'll just play that instead or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, it's fun for now, it's pretty good. And I've been playing Prison Architect as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you have to tick it before you start a prison. Okay. To like enable it. And then if it's in prisoners who turn up and depending on what gangs they're like, uhm, you know, aligned to or whatever, they'll attack other gang members. Right, right. It just makes it like a bit more unruly, I guess. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's cool. It's a, it's a fantastic game. It's like, well, well worth the buy for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tweeted out this morning, let me just go through here and, uh, pick some, um, random ones. Oh, here's one, okay. This is from Raccoon Shoon, who asks, who in the Yogscast would you be least surprised if they were a serial killer? Kim. Yeah, it's always the quiet ones. Kim's not quiet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say Al Smithy. No, seriously, I think he is a serial killer, but whatever. Uhm, okay, this is from Adam, who says, uhm, to each member of the Triforce Podcast, what goes in to your favorite sandwich?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I eat a lot of that as well. Goes really well. I still think that my all time favorite sandwich has got to be peanut butter and jam though. Like I can't get over it. I've always enjoyed peanut butter and jam and still do to this day. So there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What kind of jam? Uhm, raspberry jam. Has to be raspberry jam for me. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I had a Subway Veggie Delight while we were away and I haven't had one for a while and they're, they're good. They were good. She toasted it as well, which was nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, last question for the day then, from a person named Becky. Who's the sweatiest of you three? That's a good question actually. I actually, I don't know how sweaty you guys are. I'm gonna say...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not overly sweaty, I sweat sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm probably pretty much the same. Like I don't sweat profusely or anything. Like I don't sweat like just before I'm about to eat or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what was that? No, there was like a knocking at the door and stuff, so while you were talking about being sweaty, I thought I'd just go check quickly, but turns out it was just the roofer doing his roof thing, so. Falling off the roof to his death. Yeah, I heard like, I heard a crunch and a scream, but I just ignored it, so. Okay, good job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I haven't, no. I don't like to, uh, I don't like to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I- It's the etiquette! Offer a cup of tea and a biscuit. No, that's, maybe that was the case in like the 1960s, but it's not now. So, you know, I don't want him to- Oh, you have to. He's expecting it. No, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flax is in the, uh, Insane Asylum, um, doctor's room. Yep, yep. I'm in my filthy dad garage, which smell like eggs this morning. I had to open the windows. Again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me eating eggs has nothing to do with the way that my garage, that was, nobody was in it for like 17 hours. Okay. Smelling like that. I mean, you know, it just, it's got its own smell. It's like its own beast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well now come to think of it, yea, I do. That makes good sense. There's a field of ostriches right next to my garage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean eggs, eggs, eggs don't smell like when they're in the shell, in the shell still, right? Like you wouldn't walk into, you wouldn't walk into a like a hen battery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, we were, so we walked, uhm, to a coffee shop, which is like about... Is this what you were half an hour late?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I'm about to tell you is going to change your mind on that one. Because we were walking along like the front, like the coast, and there's a big seawall, right? And uh, so we're walking along.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like the sea as it does on the, on the front, on the coast. And there's like a little bit of a sniff of something else, but you know, you just sort of think I'm by the sea, so it could be anything. You know, I'm not going to worry too much. And there's this woman walking towards us, pushing a stroller and she had this face on her and it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the hell, like, is this woman okay? And she's like, don't go close to the wall. It's disgusting. And we were like, well, okay. She's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody's puked on the wall and it's absolutely disgusting. So we're like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like a freight train in the night smashing right into your face this wall of hell smell. It was disgusting. God, it was so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I, for some reason, like I remember one time I was really sick, okay, and this is kinda gross and maybe a bit embarrassing for me, but there was like, there was barfing and shitting involved and actually the smell of my shit at the time made me wanna barf more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Right. But I can happily sit in a room and fart. For god's sake. And be perfectly content with the smell of my own farts. But other people's farts I find very offensive. The smell of them is just too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what's the deal with that? And barf, it doesn't matter who does it. Even my own barf is gross. Like the smell is just really awful and I never want to smell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I would, I would lay the smack down at that point, personally. I would, I would literally open a can of whoop ass at that point. I'd be like, I'm sorry. Like, we have a pretty good relationship here, but if you're gonna do this again, fucking, you better go somewhere with that, because.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm picturing your wife as like the girl from the IT crowd, you know, the one, she always seems to find herself into these like, pukey situations, or like, you know, she's wearing like a trench coat, a work trench coat that like a lady would wear, but just has bar for like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you did the dance of your people, puked on her, to show your love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you basically, if you're eating seafood, you wanna be eating it on a pier, out of a newspaper, where you're sure the fish just came out of the water and it was like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this girl that you had a crush on, was she barfing as well?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She had like, she had the same disposition as you, just like, very barfy and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Maybe like, maybe this could be, uh, like a plot line for Bodega as well. Maybe he could visit a barfy planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, honestly, if you turned up here every week with the new bodega, I would die a happy man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, we'll talk for a bit and then we'll do a bodega, okay? We'll have our weekly slot for bodega.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna add that I have nothing to add on the barfing front because I'm quite proud to say my whole family are not barfy at all. Like, very isolated moments of barfing due to like a sickness or a virus or whatever, but even my kids, not pukey in the slightest. That's very good. They poop every day, but they're barely ever sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think the only time my son was sick, like, fully growing up, like, from being a toddler and stuff to now, was right before he had, uh, chicken pox. Like, he broke out with chicken pox, you get a bit sick before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The really gross thing about chickenpox is that they're contagious when you scratch the sore and it pops and the pus is like infected and that's where, when it's contagious and that to me just makes it even more gross than it already is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's disgusting, like thinking about that. So that's why they say not to scratch, because uhm, you know, you get it in under your fingers and stuff and whatever, your fingernails and shit and it's all infected and that's how it spreads around everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it can be very serious when you're older. Like it can kill you. Really? Do you want to get it when you're a kid? Yeah. It's like some people die from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I got the windows open, the egg smell is, uhm, is, is dissipating now, it just smells nice and fresh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a condenser dryer in here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, they'll make a stink. They'll make a stink. It extracts the moisture from the clothes and stores it in a little plastic thing and that's probably where the egg smell comes from. Nice. Yep. Could be my butt as well though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The old egg butt. Yeah, could be. Man! So like, recently I've been playing a lot of WoW. I'm not going to talk too much about WoW, but I've been streaming a lot of WoW as well, and I've been sitting in here for a long time playing WoW, and maybe my sweaty butt is causing my chair to stink a little bit as well. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't think anybody realistically has ever done that, but possibly. I mean, I knew a guy who, uhm, needed to go poo really bad one time. We were at a skate park.