[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, people just come up with these things, right? And then they go, why, why do you, why do you believe that? And they go, well, he's a scientist. And then they go, oh, okay, well that, that makes sense. But we don't, still don't know where that comes from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it was the prostate. It was a hole for a giant prostate back there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think really rich people go to the scientists and go, they go, how many brains are in there? And the guy's like one. And the guy's like, well, I'll give you a lot of money if you say there's two. And he's like, okay, there's two. I want to keep being a scientist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I'm way down with that. Yeah, I'm not against that idea. Yeah. I mean, who knows what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're like, they're always trying to go to space and I'm like, let's try to see what's in the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But I just, the bird being a dinosaur, I just, I don't, I don't get how we, like, cause weren't dinosaurs reptiles? Well, and then suddenly they're like, oh, the scales turned into feathers over time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a little bit of each blood, huh, to go with the two brains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One brain gets cold blood, the other gets warm blood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what about the triceratops? What did it look like with feathers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened? They were just here for 165 million years and then a meteor came and then like all of a sudden humans popped up? Is that the idea that they were like, Oh, well we'll try a different kind of species. We come from Hummingbird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why does the- Sega Force. Why does the T-Rex get two names? Don't go to that Sega Force. Tyrannosaurus Rex. It's like it's got a first name and a last name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And we're getting closer to humans, I guess, building us up for the Rex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it seems like that, you know, they were, they were some, a group of them that was here and then they'd like, what happened to the stegosaurus?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you stretch it out long enough, you can go, hey, it took a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they were around for a long time. Longer than us. And that, yeah, that a meteor came. Six months. Or an asteroid came. Asteroid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I'm just trying to piece it together because I think we are, I think it is, yeah, it seems very scientific and I just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta plan ahead. You gotta plan ahead. If you're gonna survive global warming. Yeah. Take to the oceans. I might as well start now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1550 BC were they really that deep though? Still some time. Oh, I bet the floor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been 65 million years, but still stepping over them. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they seem to have such an imagination that they created the thing that we now say existed long before these people would have known about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they can't just carbon date it. I mean, that's how they're telling us that things are 165 million years old, but they're like, this could be 750,000 years old or yeah, last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think it's funny that we'll doubt these, we go, no, I don't think these are that old, but 165 million years old, we're like, well, that's gotta be true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are the beginnings of the evolution. The feet came first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you just catch it from the front, a good straight on, you don't want a profile pick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, birds, dolphins are humans. That was the, that was your choice. That's how you switch it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they probably didn't call it a gorilla. And so then they were like, oh no, it wasn't that thing we were talking about. This is a gorilla.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Job described it. Well, elephants too, tiny tails.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, I'm still a dog. Like a phantom tail. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That kinda clicked. You know what, I'd like to, I'd like to walk more upright. Yeah. I'd like to get into that a little more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if it's just you and a monkey in this room, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe that's what caused the dolphins to go back in the water. They were like, it's skidding. How high, how high are we going to go? Yeah, these people have changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have been in a museum, uhm, and then you'll see a dinosaur like built and then it'll be like, we found this bone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then like the rest they made. And they were like, we found this big femur. And we were like, I bet it looked like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they're like, all this time they're like, it was reptiles. And now they're like, you know what? I bet they had feathers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where it's like, you gotta, you gotta switch. That's pretty, that's a pretty big switch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you know, I mean, there's a theory, right, that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some reptiles out there that never stop growing as long as they're alive, right? So if the flood happened and things live longer prior to, they would have just got real big. So you would just take small dinosaurs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They used to have feathers. Yeah, right. Right. Right. Alligators used to have feathers and they, you know, they couldn't fly. So they've got rid of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll just take some small ones. We'll only be on there for a year or so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm just like, it gets me when they're like 165 million years ago, we know this happened, but then we find these little figurines and they're like, we don't know. They could have been built last week. We don't know how old they are. It's like, well, why not? You know what I mean? Let's crack one open. Let's give it a check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I like this. This feels good right here. This feels like a big reveal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've seen that in my dad's pool. Yeah, I stepped on one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the T-Rex, he just, they were like, he just, he died off. There was no transplant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pseudoscience. Who knows? You know, I guess it's up to your interpretation. Whatever you find ridiculous. Could be pseudoscience, right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. It was fun. But I did learn something though. I learned that uhm, that the Hummingbird is a dinosaur. And that's pretty interesting to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, people get hung up on the fire breathing thing, but there's an insect that creates a little fire spark that's alive right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm in for the dinosaurs, but I just, I do think dinosaurs and humans live together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But people are like, oh, they came along into the year and I think they were all together at the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like my internet is, uh, my website's moving slow. There it is. Look at all these dicks, man. Are you excited? Yea, a bunch of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like why, it's like have you not lived life before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I've, I've revealed it. What was it? I ruptured my appendix. Oh yeah. Yeah. And it was gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's because of a personal, uhm, it's a self-esteem issue. I didn't like the way I looked on the last thing, so it was a me issue. It wasn't a power play the way that you're making it out to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's, that dictates how the kid is going to be raised if you vape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm excited to do it in Nashville because when people walk out, I know they'll be walking to their trucks. Boom. It's a big truck gun culture here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went at night and I got a degree from, uh, Cabrini College, a small Catholic college outside of Philadelphia in, uh, special education.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would imagine- Because you have to work a day job. You know, I worked with kids with uh, behavioral problems during the day, and then at night I would have to take classes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I, I see you taking shots at me, like we're dumber than the people who get their masters during the day. Day hours is all I'm asking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a working professional, Nate, you have to work during the day and then you needed


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Supplemental coursework at night. I mean, you're not familiar with secondary education. I'm not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll just go with you on it. After I was resisting it for a while, but you just kept battering me with jokes, and after a while I just go, you know what? You win. It's a twilight match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they figured it out. Yeah. Is it pesticides for like garden or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My parents, like, uh, you too, Nate, like, were your parents, cause my parents were like, you, there's no, you're going to college. So that's not a, that's not a discussion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever like throw a playful punch at your father and he goes, hey, that's how Houdini died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like this guy needs some pesticides. I would excel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you go like, what's your issue and then let them speak and then go yeaah, yeaah, we got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you go to, uhm, in the south, do you go to Waffle House on Sundays and just like chat it up with people so that there's a buzz? Is that how you spread?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They never thought about that. They never thought about it. It's like a metaphysical thing. They go, it goes up and down and it goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does your father have a problem when you bash other magicians, or? No, no. Does he take it personal? No, no, I'm just saying it's just funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty, your anti-museum? Anti-museum. Anti-dinosaur, anti-museum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Twenty in five hours is not that bad. Once you break down the ratio, I know you guys are not college guys, but once you break down the ratio, ratio's a, like a fraction, but once you break down the ratio, but it's, it's not, uhm, can we look that up? A fraction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, ratio for these guys. Uhm, but once you break it down, it's actually not that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you a big toast guy, Mike? No, I'm a fist pound guy, but I should start throwing in some toasts. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's a book on tape, I think, because people don't read it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys have reading comprehension in your schools?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does, does that mean like you understand reading? Yeah, you'd have to read a passage and then you would have to answer about five questions about the passage, so. So maybe I just learned. You could measure if you retained any of the information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good point. That's a really good point. Maybe we should be going to the cemeteries and then extracting all the people. God rest their souls. I wanna respect the podcast. But uhm, just taking them all and like filling up our tanks. You know? I think that's a great idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He starts off pretty arrogant. He starts off pretty arrogant. I'm a pilot. I'm a pilot. You don't know anything. I'm a pilot. At Denver. It's like, you know what David? Calm down. I know how to fly a plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that. I like a nice instead of a question and accusation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel that you gave Dusty a lot of credit and then you kinda came after me on mine. You kinda framed it in a derogatory way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Well, I mean, I, cause I have, uh, heavy, uh, I have much like the dinosaur's big bones. And, um, dinosaurs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, now I'm doing intermittent fasting, but I had problems with, uh, food growing up because, you know, I don't know how you guys were raised in your houses, whereas it's, we had a, you have an emotional dependence on food. We had that in my family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys take history classes here in your schools? It's a subject called history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So intermittent fasting, I resisted it a long time because when I did wrestle I had to cut a lot of weight and I hated it. So, uh, it's another thing I'm trying though. But my point is when, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Growing up, we had to like, I don't know if you guys had to do this, where it was like, eat everything on your plate. Like, we're not wasting food, so eat everything on your plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, that's a big, that's not a thing now. You know, you just, you don't have to eat everything on your plate. We'll save it for later. But back then, that was a lot of the parenting in the eighties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would seem abusive, you know. But it's just like, it's just like, you eat everything on your plate, that's just the way it goes. So, it's like, well I'm full. It's like, well figure it out. Because you're not going anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I like the fact that the, what some parents did, uh, where it's like, okay, you're not going to eat it now. That's your breakfast. You can eat that for breakfast, but we're going to get the job done. I don't care if it takes 24 hours or more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My father would go into a tirade, he goes, uh, he would go, you're gonna eat the meal, and what do you think this is? A hotel? You think everything is for free here? You think you're just getting everything for free? Is that the way you think the world works?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, my senior year, I wrestled, uh, in the state tournament at 160, but when I, you know, I play football and wrestled, so my weight for rep for football was about 190.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you want to have the, you want to have the least body fat and the most muscle mass to give yourself the best chance. You want to, you know, you don't want to be muscled around by somebody because everybody else is cutting down too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It depends, like I'm a thi- if you're like a thick, bulky person, you gotta cut more. You're gonna have to cut more. But if you- I- I knew guys in college who were real lean guys and just very naturally close to their weight, they just didn't have much to cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. It just depends on your body type. Do you do the, uh, wrapping a trash bag around your stomach and running?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I did all that, and uh, but in high school, I was, you're forced to cut it slower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a sauna, like, but, but the plastic wraps and then, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I won in uhm, high school. I was, I started in Ohio and I learned the basics of wrestling in Ohio, then moved to Florida and took some lumps because our program wasn't as good as the one in Ohio. Ohio is great wrestling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, but my, uh, senior year, uhm, I did well. But Florida was not good wrestling. Florida was not good wrestling. The South is not, I mean, that's not true. North Carolina is pretty good. Missouri. It depends, yea, Missouri is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the real deal, he's unbelievable. I was not, I went to Penn State, which we're third in the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was there, but I wrestled for a year and I was like, okay, I'm not, I can't do this again. This is just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it was, I was exhausted all the time. Yeah. It was just, it's like, like a professional sport. You know what I mean? These guys are training, there's Olympians, there's guys, you know, these guys are training like for the Olympics and stuff. It's, it's, it's pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Greg is, Greg was a great high school wrestler and a great college wrestler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's something real humbling about getting pinned in an auditorium full of people. I don't think people realize what that's about. They're like, oh, you're a wrestler. It's like, yeah, if you look like some guys are just unbelievable and other guys aren't. And I was a guy who and I had to work very hard to be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I had to work very hard to be good, yea, but so you take your lumps on, most of us take our lumps on the way up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just like, you're just, you're getting pinned in an auditorium full of people who are cheering either for you or against you. It's pretty humbling when another guy-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really, really, uh, play it up. But now it's gotta be worse because there's you, there wasn't YouTube. I would have been mortified just getting, just getting destroyed and then it gets put on YouTube. Oh yeaah. And then you get 5 million views.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a guy put, lift me, I was at a tournament in college, I went to this uh, Sunshine Games in Florida, and uh, I had a guy, I, he,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Picked me up in the air and then did that thing where it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Through a half Nelson in, in the air and pinned me. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's like he was, it was. That would have been on TikTok. Absolutely. Cause it didn't last 15 seconds. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It's like, it's pretty quick. Like a guy gets in that deep on you, it's like he's much faster than you. And before you can react, you're already like on your back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never, uh, I never mentally prepared myself the right, cause what we do for these tournaments is you would, in high school anyway, in middle school, you would go and uh, weigh in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was too worried about like, I want to win and I'm tired. It's like, no, you can't have that. You gotta be like, all right, now it's time to go. It's like, let me just like cut through this guy. Who's my first guy? I'm going to cut through him. You think those guys are just wired differently? No, I think it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a mental, I think it's, you know, regardless whether you win or lose, uhm, you can have the mental ability to be like, nah, I'm gonna, I worked hard for this and this is how I feel right now, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna get myself up and I'm gonna go take it to this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think it's wired. It's more of a choice. It's a choice. It's like, you can decide to be happy or you can decide to be sad, but it's a thing where it's like, no, I'm gonna decide, I cut all this weight, I sacrificed all this, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go put it on the sky. I'm gonna go have some fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does, but I think that what you're talking about is like you're getting more into like an addiction thing where it's like I'm addicted to this feeling instead of like mental, like I committed to this thing and now I'm, it's gonna, this thing is gonna happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, you know, it's gonna ha- it's scheduled to happen, and it's gonna happen. Now, what kind of mindset am I gonna take into this thing? I did- I took a mindset in where it's like, I wanna win, I'm gonna go out there, it's like, I was cautious, I was defensive, it's like, that's not the right way to go out there. If I had to do it over again, the right way to go out there is like, I'm gonna let it go- like the way you do st- like, I'm gonna go out there and just let it go. I trained for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for wrestling, let's just take wrestling. I didn't know that that mental, I didn't know that that existed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know that, I wasn't aware of it. It's like, oh, this is, you prepared yourself physically for this, but it's like, you didn't prepare yourself mentally for what's gonna happen out there. So it's like, there's a way, there was a way to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, and if you want to be successful, you'll subscribe to That Way To Do It.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're committed to comedy, but there's that, that, you know, we've all done late night sets, so it's a good example, like a late night set is what, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, we're all coming into comedy, you know what I mean? But when you have that, when you have that thing where it's like, uh, you know, a late night set, you're, it is a lot, it's like a pressure build up. Yeah. So it's like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're waiting to go on, there's waves of anxiety that come over you, and it's like, should I even be here? It's like, what, do I even remember my set? You know, there's a doubt that creeps in and all this stuff. So that's, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now we all have a way to mentally, it's still tough, it's still difficult, but we have a mental way to prepare for that. And in competing in sports, it's kinda like that too, but I just didn't, you know, I didn't have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I trained for this. You put such sacrifice into it. Wrestling is a huge sacrifice. No one, very few guys actually love the process. You know what I mean? It's a brutal process. But winning is, and I played football, I loved football, but like winning in an individual sport like that, it's exhilarating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You put yourself in a mental state to be effective there and I never, it's like uhm, I think a quarterback is amazing because it's like they can't be,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the, the Patriots, Falcons, like that's the most amazing thing I've ever seen pretty much sports. Like them just like little by little, like just taking each situation and just like, if there was a bad play, just forget about it. I mean, there was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were down 28 nothing or whatever it was. It's just like taking it one step, one step at a time, one step at a time. Bad play, forget about it. Like what's the down in distance? Like it's the definition of being in the present moment basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Orch, you get those crowds a lot of times that you have to like, uh, win over. You know what I mean? It's like, they're on the, they're, they're not really there to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To see me. So it's like, and they're just kinda like, in that phase, it's like, you gotta con- and you're, and you're losing. Like, you're losing. And I used to get angry at them. But now it's like, kind of a thing, it's like, alright, this is a- already is what it is. So why not have some fun with- because I find if I'm having fun,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard for them not to have fun. And the easy thing to do, and when I was younger comic, I did it, and probably a lot of people in that situation is to go


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to the crowd and do crowd work and have them pull you off what you're trying to do. But the right thing to do is to stay the course and stay with your material and bring them into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slowly claw and bring them into it instead of just giving up the ship and going, I just don't want to bomb. It's like, no, no, no, no. Stay the course and just keep coming at them with your jokes in a playful, loose way and bring them into what you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the points, right? That's the points. And uhm, the Weight Watchers is directly at odds with the Girl Scouts, oddly enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, that's what they say, but the problem with eating a huge breakfast is that your energy dips then and you're inefficient the rest of the day. So it doesn't really help if you eat a huge breakfast and then you're like, I'm just gonna take a nap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But how are you feeling? Are you going to be efficient with your day after a big breakfast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, as long as we're on this, I just want to point a reference that uhm, when you did your Netflix half hour that we uhm, stayed next to Richard Simmons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, I think there's a whole thing where they think his maid is keeping him inside. Yeah. And uhm. Still. And he's trying to get out. But she's like, keeping him something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been following the story. What do you think, do you believe it? Since we, that house, since we stayed in that house, I've been following the story. Do you believe him? Do you think he's okay? No, I think he's under some kind of a spell. Yeah. Yeah. Which probably burns a lot of calories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's still alive and he's still, like I said, he'll pop out once in a while and go, I'm fine, there's no problem here. But it's like somebody, I don't know if it's the house, I don't know if somebody has control over his finances.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We stayed, I mean, we freed Britney. Yeah. We freed Britney. Let's free Richard. Let's free Richard now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now we're talking. Now you're a big Atkins guy. I was, I did it for a while and it really worked. It really worked. But then, uhm, you'll start overeating on that and then it's a disaster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just meat, meat and vegetables. Okay. Basically. Yeah. And no carbs. Like low carb. Oh yeah, I remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I started thinking long term as like, people are like, you can't do this forever. It's like, I don't think you can. I don't think you can realistically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Intermittent fasting is good because it's like, it's, it's, there's some pain in it. It's like, okay, you're overweight or you don't, okay, you gotta stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta stop eating. You know what I mean? Like, just do one meal. But you're not gonna do intermittent fasting for the rest of your life, you don't think? I'll do it if, uh, it's a good thing to do if you're like, oh, it's getting away from me. It's like getting, like my weight is starting to get away from me. And it's like, oh, I know how to, I know how to do this now.


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[Assistant] But there is a little bit of suffering involved in it.


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[Assistant] Honeycombs. Count Chocula. Frankenberry. I never got into the chocolates. No.


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[Assistant] What's the difference between lamb and sheep?


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[Assistant] You're gonna die, you're gonna have an embarrassing haircut.


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[Assistant] He couldn't even see the hair. No, yeah, that will cover up, cover up the eyes.


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[Assistant] Wouldn't it be great if he was just telling people that as he sold the merch? Yea, well people think it's him. He just fueled the rumor?


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[Assistant] You're on the road too, right? Yea, I'm on the road. I got dates, uh, mikevecchione.com, at Comic Mike V on all social media platforms. Yea. And then, where you at this weekend? I'm in Vancouver at, uh, House of Comedy. Oh yea. In British Columbia.


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[Assistant] And uhm, and then Cleveland Hilarities, April 14th and 15th.


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[Assistant] You know, it was right there. It was getting too serious. It was getting too serious.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Those are all panels though. You know what I mean? That's the count.


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[Assistant] On your window, you can have everything she has. They design and measure and install. And so if you have questions about your windows, like


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[Assistant] Buy one, get one 50% off when you head to 3dayblinds.com slash Nate and use our promo code Nate. One last time.


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[Assistant] That could be snapnote dyslexia. Which would you rather it be?


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[Assistant] I say tennis shoes. Tennis shoes is whatever.


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[Assistant] Oh, how would I say garage sale? Garage sale too. I say garage sale.


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[Assistant] Yep. So they told us. They said the devil's beaten his wife.


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[Assistant] Uh, cold drink. Here's some guys, cold beers. That's what they say.


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[Assistant] Porter Potty? I hate saying that. Porter Johns? Porter Potty? Maybe I say Porter Potty. I hate Porter Potty.


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[Assistant] Right. That's why, you know, my buddies, they're like, hey, let's do dinner on, and I go, hey, hey, just call me last minute.


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[Assistant] And then people always go, Hey, you want to go see this show? No, I really don't want to go see anybody. But you, but you know, I'm real. Yeah. And he didn't want me there. So we're even.


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[Assistant] Yes, see, BTS. So this was right before COVID. BTS, you know, the biggest band in the world.


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[Assistant] So my daughter loves him, obviously, she's a little teenager, and so uhm.


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[Assistant] Buddy mine said, Hey, they're going to be on James Corden. You want to bring her out? And I'm like.


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[Assistant] I'm on the other side. Yeah. And I'm sitting there with her. We're front row and the cameraman looks at me and goes, what are you doing here? And I said, uh, uh, my daughter, he goes.


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[Assistant] Right. It's kind of like when someone's driving your car. Yeah. You know, I, my son was in town. He drove my truck the other day and I was in the passenger seat and I went, wow, this is, I don't like this angle.


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[Assistant] We hadn't left our neighborhood. And I said, pull over. This ain't happening.


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[Assistant] That's true. That's true. But yeah, but when you're, yeah, having my kid drive, it's I got, so all three of mine are driving now. It's crazy. Yeah. Can they drop stick shift? Yes. That's the rule of mine. Yeah. So yeah. You know what? Number one theft deterrent. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Those punks get in the car and go, wow, can't drive that. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And I actually got that truck to teach my daughter how to drive a manual because my boys have, uh,


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[Assistant] 2000 F 250, 98 Ram 2500. I had to go big diesel to get a straight shift for them to learn, but they learn.


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[Assistant] And it all happened there and I probably told y'all this story. We're in Honduras on a mission trip.


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[Assistant] And I yelled at 12 high school seniors. And I said, Hey, one of you boys move this truck. And they're like, we can't Mr. Cho. And I'm like, why? They go, it's a stick shift. I'm like, Oh really?


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[Assistant] And I'll never get, Jackson was like 12 and I looked at him and I said, that's never gonna be you.


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[Assistant] You're gonna know how to drive a stick. So I went back to the parents going, you understand you're sending your kids to third world country that is super dangerous and they can't drive one vehicle in the entire country. I mean, if something happened and they got to get away, they can't. And it changed. Everybody's thinking they're like, wow, never thought about that. I'm like, yeah.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Three out of the four gigs we did.


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[Assistant] You know, when that thing shows up, you just throw it in the trash. Yeah. Can't face it. I got it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's it. Once you start, show up at the Hampton Inn and they go, Hey, I'll give you 15% off if you're here. Oh, okay. That I'll do.


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[Assistant] In, uh, I don't know what year the venue was. It was one of the last ones. Uhm, Craig Stadler had turned 65, so he got to play from the whites.


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[Assistant] Have you, you've done a lot of those celebrity golf, uh. Yeah. Back in, back before kids did tons. Yeah. Did you do AT&T? I did not. You know, I was on the, uh, uh, I was an alternate and, uh, Tom Candiati, uh, was.


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[Assistant] Uh, I was there with him and this is before 10 cup. No lie. They didn't have a range back then.


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[Assistant] Yeah, still really don't. Oh, pebble doesn't. Right. So we went down to this little area where you just kind of hit some wedges, maybe. And we're on the far left and.


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[Assistant] Candiati shanks his and almost takes out Tom Kite and Lee Jansen. And it goes almost literally, I mean, just parallel to with us.


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[Assistant] So to answer your question, I was alternate and then I got to the point where I couldn't give up five days. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Moved here, as you know, uh, you know, I coach my kids baseball and basketball teams.


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[Assistant] Say Atlanta on a Friday night, I drive home, coach a game Saturday morning.


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[Assistant] Go back, I mean, you know, this is first, second, third grade sports. It's not that, but I was a coach.


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[Assistant] For years, kindergarten through third grade and, uh, I'd coach baseball and basketball and I made it work. I mean.


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[Assistant] When Jackson start playing high school sports, his senior year.


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[Assistant] That's how I work Saturdays, but so I was doing a lot of one-offs in the middle, you know, and one-offs are hard. You know how you like to try to do a tour and.


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[Assistant] You know, I'd go, I'd watch my son play sports on sat Friday night, fly out on Saturday, come back on Sunday. So, you know, I did that for a long time. I couldn't do all these big pro-ams that take several days.


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[Assistant] You're just not just playing golf. I mean, there's stuff every night and they expect you to do shows and expect you to be here. So, I mean, it's a week and you sit there and go, holy, holy cow, I can't do that. And then I was, like you said, I.


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[Assistant] The times when i was an alternate was the times i could have done it i was single and then i even had it with the kids were that mobile and then there's came a point where i said no to stuff for like a decade.


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[Assistant] You know, I do a few here and there. If they're local, I could bop over here.


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[Assistant] And, uh, yeah, doing the celebrity golf is always tons of fun. I mean, we had a circuit for a while.


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[Assistant] Something like that, uh, so Rocket Ishmael didn't play, didn't play. Yeaah, he shot 81-81 because they gave him a 9 on each hole.


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[Assistant] But the worst was Chris Weber. Uh, I'm getting ready to tee off and...


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[Assistant] Yeah, so I'm in college and, uh, I told my buddies I wanted to do stand-up. I was gonna try stand-up. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And they're like, dude, what are you talking about? I said, I really think I can do it. And they went, really? All right, but you're really not funny. I go, I know, but I think I can do this.


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[Assistant] So I never hung out in comedy clubs, never been on stage, nothing.


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[Assistant] So if somebody drops out, we'll let you know. So on Friday I get a call, somebody dropped out. Still been trying, I've been trying to find out who that was. Yeah, that is so great. And so they go, you're on it Monday, be down here like at seven, shows at eight or whatever. So.


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[Assistant] I told my buddies I'm in and they're like, what? So we're driving down there. I'm, I'm riding my first set ever on the way there.


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[Assistant] And they're going, well, if you're going to do it, tell the story about this, tell this story, tell that story.


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[Assistant] And so I get there and I thought it was 12 guys like me just trying, but it was the funniest person in Tennessee competition for Showtime. Oh wow. Yeah. So it's 11 working comedians and me.


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[Assistant] So I watched the first couple guys go up and I tell my buddies, man, you know, I'm just going to, since we're here, I'm going to do it and I'm never going to talk about it again.


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[Assistant] So I go up fifth and destroy and I get a standing ovation. So I walk off stage guy named Jerry Kubach owned 12 funny bones at the time throughout the Midwest starting in St. Louis.


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[Assistant] He's like, wow, do you want to MC this week? And I go, what's that? He goes, oh, you do 15 minutes introduce, introduce the other acts. I'll give you a couple hundred bucks. And I'm like, 200 bucks. Yeah.


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[Assistant] So I said, I don't have 15 minutes. He goes, well just do what you did tonight. I don't care.


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[Assistant] I said, all right, so I did start working on, so that was a Monday. I started working on Wednesday.


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[Assistant] I just went for it and it worked and it worked. So, uh, you know, my big break came, uh, funny bones, uh, Koobach said, Hey, whenever you get out of school, he goes, when you graduate.


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[Assistant] I'll let you do all my clubs. And I said, well, I'm not going to graduate. I just quit. He went, wow. Okay. Here's what we're going to do.


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[Assistant] So I did, I went to Cincinnati, then St. Louis and Kansas City, and, uh, then there was a gig in Mizzou, at, uh, Freddie DiMarco's, Deja Vu's.


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[Assistant] Biggest break probably came six months after doing comedy punchline, Atlanta had Jerry Seinfeld. They didn't have his clean, his opener couldn't do it. So they needed a clean opener. I was the only clean comedian anybody ever heard of. Cause this is 1986.


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[Assistant] And so, uh, I went down to work with Jerry. Jerry was like, man, you know, are you, he goes, they're going to offer you the moon.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he was, he was probably the biggest name on our circuit.


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[Assistant] Did some more with him. He goes back to LA. He tells, uh, Dennis Wolfberg, Carrie Shanley, Bill Maher, Leno, uh, Rich Jenny, uh, you know, the top headliners in the country.


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[Assistant] Hey, you know, Jerry said, you're the guy. I'm going to be here and need somebody. Can you be there? I'll get there. So, you know, next year and a half, I'm working with the top.


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[Assistant] 10, 15 guys in the country, sold out shows, smart audiences. So I learned how to work. And then Jerry gave me the greatest advice. He goes, you need to work everywhere you can. You gotta get your chops. You can't be this gravy boat. I said, all right.


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[Assistant] I'll never get me in a gym to lease. Uh, we're doing a show in Greenville, Mississippi and the guy tried to pay us in cocaine.


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[Assistant] So, uh, Galish is upstairs, up on stage. And I mean, this crowd was awful, eh, you know, eh, just awful. And we're both eating it as bad as you can eat it.


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[Assistant] So I go get my truck and I back it up the back door and I'm just sitting in it. Just, I don't, and sure enough about Tim Ischler, that back door busts open and Galis jumps into my truck, bad, jumps in the bed.


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[Assistant] So I pull out of this roadside bar, we were doing comedy.


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[Assistant] And we're at a comedy condo, which you know is in a condo. It's the cheapest apartments on demand they can get. So it's on the second floor.


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[Assistant] There was no door. So you finally, I think he talked the club owner into paying like for a hotel or half over or something.


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[Assistant] No, it was bashed since Sunday night, probably, and this was Tuesday. I mean, that thing's been wide open for two and a half days.


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[Assistant] You know, and the waitress should go clean the, clean the condo.


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[Assistant] So Jimmy Tangle, a great comedian out of Boston, used to do this bit when the stamp was going up from, uhm, I think it was going up from seven cents to 12.


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[Assistant] For a nickel, some man will come and get something out of my mailbox and take it anywhere I want. For a nickel!


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[Assistant] I remember when they went from 25 to 35, I was, I was doing a joke about, uh, Billy Ray Cyrus having to change his song lyrics from Here's a Quarter Call Somebody Who Cares. It's like, hey, in a dime.


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[Assistant] Uh, so I go out in 88, do some spots, uh, stay with Bill Ingbal and, uh, crazy thing is, so I did a spot at the ice house, uh, and.


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[Assistant] Uh, Robert Guillaume who played Benson on Soap and had his own show.


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[Assistant] So, uh, his producer came up to me after I did five minutes at the ice house and said, Hey, uh,


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[Assistant] He goes, you gotta move out here. I said, all right, well, I will soon. So then I moved January 89.


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[Assistant] Uh, lived in LA, used to do the Bay area all the time, punch line. I mean, there were seven clubs back then. Yeah.


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[Assistant] So, it was hard for us young guys, new guys to get spots at the Comedy Store. It happened, but it was hard. It was easier for us to get spots at the Improv. So that's where me, Adam Sandler, uh, David Spade, uh, Judd Apatow, all these guys I started with, that's where we would go.


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[Assistant] And so it was one of these, we'd go back and forth.


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[Assistant] All night long, just seeing if someone didn't show up and maybe one of us could get on. Not all of us, just one of us.


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[Assistant] You know, every once in a while, so then it became apparent to us it was working better at the improv.


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[Assistant] So we became improv guys and, uh, cause there wasn't the whole process there was to get stage time.


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[Assistant] Work and get up to the belly room and the whole thing. So I mean, I did, I was blessed enough to do shows both, but it became.


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[Assistant] You know, I think, uh, what a year and a half, two years later, evening at the improv is on A&E, all this stuff. So we became improv guys.


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[Assistant] Cause the store, when I first went to the store, yeah, that's where Shaggett started. I mean.


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[Assistant] To you guys, it would be Chappelle going on. Yeah. Okay. You would just go, holy crap. Chappelle's here? That kind of thing. So, um, you know, back in the day, you know, we just moved to LA and our only.


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[Assistant] So, we just knew how to do stand-up. That's what got us there. So, we didn't know anybody. We were not going to go hang out at a restaurant. We hung out at comedy clubs. So, and The Laugh Factory was non-existent.


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[Assistant] And then the improv opened up one in Santa Monica. So now we had another spot, but we would just hit them all every night.


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[Assistant] You know, we, and this was way before texting and all that, like phone calls.


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[Assistant] And we just do that and we get stage time that way and then we became pretty good. Yeah.


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[Assistant] My name's on that board. And so when I first moved to LA, I had all these LA comics who I toured with. Yeah. And so they were like encouraging me to come out. So my first time ever at the improv, uh,


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[Assistant] So I go up and I read the list. I call my buddy back home in Knoxville and I read a list. He's like, who's there? I went, uh, Jay Leno.


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[Assistant] Jerry Seinfeld, Rick Doverton, Kevin Pollock, you know, I'm reading this whole list and he goes, I've heard of every one of them. I go, yeah. He goes, and I know you, but I hadn't heard of you. Shut up. I'm trying. So I go up and.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I went up in the middle. Uh, I know I went on after Overton cause he just destroyed.


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[Assistant] He goes, you got it. So I went up there, did my thing, did great, came up and there's, you know, all the big guys right there and no one stays. Yeah. You know, you do your spot and you later. Yeah. It's almost like having, during, having COVID back then. He didn't stick around. He didn't stick around.


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[Assistant] Yeah, before everybody leaves, right? No, you're right. If they stay, so I'll never get, so County Magic Club, it's my weekend, it's my week.


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[Assistant] And Gary Shanley, first time ever hosting the Grammys. So he's working on all this material and.


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[Assistant] So he calls and goes, Hey, I got some jokes. I want to run. Can I come down and do a guest set? I said, sure.


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[Assistant] I said, why don't you go on right before me and then you just introduce me. He said, okay.


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[Assistant] That worked out great. Cause then I can do whatever I want. I said, yeah, I don't care. So he comes down. Just so happens.


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[Assistant] Louie Anderson's doing five minutes cause he's got a tonight show spot. Uh, I can't, I can't remember. It was like, it was crazy. Who was that? Uh, and uh,


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[Assistant] And so I go, hang on, Gary wants to come out and try another. So I come out and stand with me, pull up the yellow legal pad and he tried. I'm holding the mic.


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[Assistant] And, uh, it wouldn't work. I go, that's not going to work here. Try it. I go, try it this way. And then I'd say something and he'd try it and hey, that worked. Okay. And we're sitting up there writing jokes just on stage and those days can't do that now.


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[Assistant] They're not, cause everybody knows The Beatles. Everybody knows The Beatles. And those can name a song.


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[Assistant] Uh, but that's how it was back then, you're right. I mean, Shanley, everybody watched the award shows back then. It actually meant something.


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[Assistant] You know, that's when Billy Crystal was hosting the Oscars. It was that whole genre. And so Shanley doing the Grammys was ginormous.


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[Assistant] Uh, all the, all the ad space now for uh, award shows. It used to not be that way. Not that I was a big fan of award shows anyway, but you know, I will tell you when Shanley got the Grammys, we all went, holy crap, they're letting one of us do the Grammys. I mean, that was it.


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[Assistant] You know, you get actors, I love them, but you know what? It's like Seinfeld says, you stand here and you say what we tell you to say and then we'll give you a trophy.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, uh, so I was doing the Irvine Improv, did you ever do it? Did you do it when it was across from UCI or was it at the Spectrum?


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[Assistant] You know, this is LA Orange County, but it's still LA. So it's the longest shortest gig in the world. Cause it takes, you know, it's 50 miles, but it takes two hours.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I did do it. Okay. That was the great, that was a great room. Yeah. Right across from UC Irvine.


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[Assistant] So, uh, yeah, it was me, Jim Hope and Jimmy Fallon emceed. And so a buddy of mine, so Jim Hope, you know, we're talking about this and.


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[Assistant] Uh, he goes, remember when Fallon MC'd? I went, oh yeah, that's right. And I said, wow. I said, I, I vaguely remember that. He goes, Henry, you were like,


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[Assistant] You were one of the guys, you know, you're not expected to remember Jimmy Fallon was sitting at the green. And I go, yeah, yeah, but I do remember because he goes, Hey, you were super nice because we went out afterwards. And I remember you invited Jimmy to go.


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[Assistant] And they're on Saturday Night Live. You know, I never get, Dave, Dave and I did the Tempe Improv and he's from Scottsdale and he's on Saturday Night Live and he's my middle act.


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[Assistant] Very hard after, after one or two guys goes up and talks about stuff you may have talked about. So it's.


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[Assistant] Even more difficult and, and that's the whole thing. I mean, those guys, we used to tour and they were like on their way to being super famous, but we'd still do it because we love to hang out and play golf and do all this kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] So, and then they got entrenched into SNL and they stayed there. So that's the same with Fallon. Fallon was this guy coming up and you know, as talented as he is, obviously they jumped on it.


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[Assistant] Uh, Adam and David were, Spade and Stanley were at SNL. You know, they, they called me and go, man, I just wrote.


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[Assistant] Five of the funniest things I've ever written in my life and it didn't get past stage one. Wow. We, we may be home pretty soon. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And I'm like, oh really? And they go, yeah, it's brutal, man. So, and you know, and they're getting paid.


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[Assistant] Not tons, enough, but not to live in New York. So, you know, they, they just kept, you know, battling it out and pitching, pitching, pitching. And finally, you know, they both got breaks. Yeah. And got on the show.


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[Assistant] Yes, they were writers. They were writers. They weren't even supposed to make, they make the little cameos and, uh, I'll never forget.


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[Assistant] No, yeah, I understand what you're asking. Yeah, it was like the Wild West because comedy was booming.


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[Assistant] Was the thing and there was a huge wave going on and luckily I caught it just that just before it all busted.


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[Assistant] But it was, so everybody was doing comedy. I mean, Aubrey Pippen, you stone a bunch of.


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[Assistant] And well, that's where we started. So comedy started in those establishments. But so, that's how big comedy was. It's like, I can make, you know, however many times more money


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[Assistant] Getting three guys, no one's ever heard of to come here and tell jokes than having 20 women I got to take care of and whatever. So that's what we did.


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[Assistant] We did, we told jokes everywhere and then they came up with creative entertainment.


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[Assistant] Where are the chicken wire gigs came in and so they'd go to a bar.


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[Assistant] Two of us would show up on a Thursday night and we'd do comedy. And so that's just how it was. And so all these bars had their schedule, but there was always one night they didn't have something. And it was the Wild West.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah, there was, uh, a notorious one in Seattle and, uh, so, uh, it was...


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[Assistant] Jeff Dunham, me and Jake Johansson were back to back to back. All had door deals. So we knew something was up. And so I.


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[Assistant] Called Dunham and I said, Hey man, I think you really shored me, blah, blah, blah, blah. Dunham goes up first show Thursday night packed and has people count off.


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[Assistant] He does. He sits there and goes, Hey, let's try something here. Cause you know.


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[Assistant] A friend of mine, Henry, was here and so we told the whole story and by golly he had people count off. One, two, three, four, five, six, the whole thing.


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[Assistant] But that was the thing, you know, so we would do three shows on Saturday night. Yeah. Eight, 10 and 12. And you know, your headline and you're doing 50 ish. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Holy, have I even set this up? Did I talk about this?


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[Assistant] But uh, but it almost, those shows you had to just compartmentalize and just, here's my set. I'm doing it three times. Yeah.


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[Assistant] No, and it just, and it, and it's sad cause you do it by rote and you're not really performing. You're just getting into a show. So that, I always argued about doing those third shows. I said, you know, I said, I get it. We're packed. We're sold out. We're all making money. I said, but it's no fun. It's no fun. I'm here to have fun.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And so, and plus three shows, good night. I mean, just the wear and tear. Yeah.


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[Assistant] When the improv opened in Chicago, North Wales.


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[Assistant] It was so popular, we'd do two Thursday, three Friday, three Saturday, two Sunday.


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[Assistant] That's crazy. And that didn't mention the one on Tuesday and the one on Wednesday. I mean, that's what I tell these guys all the time. You guys have no idea. We used to work Tuesday through Sunday, Wednesday through, uh, Wednesday through Sunday, Tuesday through Saturday. There wasn't this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And there were all this hotel.


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[Assistant] No credits, no name, Funny Bone, St. Louis, Tuesday through Sunday, nine shows, probably make it.


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[Assistant] I'll never forget. Yeah. Uh, we were in West Palm beach, Florida, Foxworthy and I used to go down there in spring training. So we go down in February and this one place was awful. They have a phone. So he had to use the phone down the street.


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[Assistant] But he made a thousand dollars that week and he put $10,000 bills on his bed and we just sat there and stared at him. He's like, can you believe they paid me a thousand?


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[Assistant] Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, I know guys that did the exact same show verbatim for at least five years. I mean, identical verbatim and there was no turnover and that's just what they did.


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[Assistant] It was hard to turn over because you're working 50 weeks a year. I mean, we worked, my first two years of doing standup, I worked 50 weeks.


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[Assistant] A lot of shows, so you, you, you, and we, like I was saying, we worked all week. It's not like we had.


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[Assistant] Four or five days a week off and just did weekends.


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[Assistant] Crazy, I sleep in rest stops in my truck, you know, I had a 38 on my chest, stuff like that. There were some pretty rough places. Come home with $800.


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[Assistant] No, so here's what happened. I was supposed to be Johnny's last new guy. And so...


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[Assistant] It was all, everything was set and you know, it's like it is now, maybe even more so having to run your spot. You're sad 10 times in town. They're nitpicking it, but I had my.


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[Assistant] And so I was going to be Johnny's last new guy and then Johnny, Mr. Carson announces retirement. Yeah. Like three weeks after I got my date. So, uh.


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[Assistant] Everybody and her brother wanted to do Carson one more time. Yeah. So I was backstage at NBC countless times. I was in TV guides supposed to be on all these things. TV guides and magazines. Anyway, so, uh,


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[Assistant] Uh, and then I'd be standing there and all of a sudden Bette Midler would walk in. Yeah. Not scheduled.


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[Assistant] And then Clint Eastwood and then Burt Reynolds and then like, so I went, okay, I guess I'm getting bumped again. Well, I'm getting bumped again. Just kept the whole thing. Mr. Carson, very nice.


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[Assistant] I always apologize, said, you know, I wish I'd have waited, blah, blah.


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[Assistant] Yes. Did he do it a lot? Who, Jay? Carson. Carson? Yea, he had a lot of guests host. He never worked on Mondays.


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[Assistant] Oh really? No, Carson. So Johnny, so the tonight show with Johnny Carson used to be 90 minutes. Wow. It was an hour and a half long. And then he cut it down to 60, and then he cut it down where he only worked three days a week.


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[Assistant] Yeah, my dad was fine after this. Yeah. My mom was always behind it. So before the Tonight Show though, I was, I'd already, I was doing Arsenio Hall. Yeah. Uh, I did Pat Sajak's show.


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[Assistant] They flew me up by helicopter. Yeah. Yeah. CBS. This is the difference. CBS and Fox. So, uh, Fox would have sent a car. CBS sent a helicopter. Wow. From where?


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[Assistant] Yeah. And so I got CBS, television city, helicopter.


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[Assistant] But so it's great, he had a talk show. And so, cause I'll never forget, it was at the time I was


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[Assistant] I was in the queue to do the Tonight Show. They were coming out to see me.


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[Assistant] And all these things, and Jim McCauley was the guy. Jim McCauley said, thumbs up, thumbs down, you're on or not. And so I asked him, I said, Jim, what do you think? And he said, you know, I think maybe in a year or two. And I said, okay, I get that.


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[Assistant] Nope, right. He goes, nah, he goes, you're, you're, you know, you're blowing up and everybody's going crazy, but I really, a year or two. Yeah. And he goes, unless Johnny sees you somewhere.


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[Assistant] That can happen. Maybe he'll be watching TV, you know, stuff like that. So then Sajak comes up and my agent's going Sajak wants you.


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[Assistant] And I'm going, I don't know. I'm, you know, I'm going to hold out for the tonight show, blah, blah, blah. And then our senior goes, Hey, can you do, you know, October 12th? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Well heck, if I'm going to do Arsenio, might as well do Sajak. So we told Sajak and Sajak went, no, I did Sajak three times in three weeks, I think. Wow. It was six weeks, something crazy. Yeah. And, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] Cause I knew it was going to be a year and a half before I did it. So whatever. So I'd already done those shows. So my, my mom was, you know, once I did Pat Sajak, my mom was fine.


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[Assistant] You know, I think had a, it, it didn't hurt me. Yeah. You know, it doesn't sound like it.


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[Assistant] No, it didn't hurt me. Cause I mean, this was, uh,


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[Assistant] I did the night show first time, 92. So, I mean, my first six months in LA, I get a spot at the improv. I get a agent, I get managed. I'm reading for everything there is to read. The problem Hollywood had was.


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[Assistant] They'd never been around an Asian guy who talked like I did. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, what until I start hosting Friday night videos on, in 94, 95? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] And the producer came out, Gary Konstantinovich, and he was over all NBC late then. Uh, SNL, Tonight Show, Conan, all Letterman. He was over all of them.


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[Assistant] And my little show, Friday Night Videos. But he came out and goes, I can't understand a word you're saying. He goes, I hired you cause you're a great host and I like your look and I like you, but you gotta move your mouth. All right, I'll try.


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[Assistant] So that night is when this voice became what it is. Cause I hadn't started enunciating. So, but still Hollywood couldn't figure out.


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[Assistant] There's not, there's not. I know y'all fly over, but there's not. And so it was really hard to get something unique. And there was a lady at NBC over development named Shana Landsberg and she got it.


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[Assistant] So she got me meeting with, uh, uh, Brandon Tartikoff, who, who is why Seinfeld happened, the show.


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[Assistant] He's the genius behind it and uh, he's the one who kept it on the air. He's the one that liked it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that, that saw what it was. He saw what it was. Yeah. So.


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[Assistant] I was gonna go in to see Brandon and, uh, Shayna said, I said, really Tartacom? She goes, yes.


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[Assistant] He flipped out. He said, what? Asian guy? An Asian guy leading? Are you kidding? She goes, don't think Asian guy. Think, think cowboy.


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[Assistant] And he's like, Shana, we got to get him on TV. You know, there's never been anything like it.


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[Assistant] You know, I did, uh, the comedy festival in Vegas, 89. I come off stage as Steve Allen.


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[Assistant] Steve Allen goes, you ever heard that thing? There's no such thing as a new joke. I said, yes, sir. He goes, you have like 10. Yeah. That no one's ever told. Yeah. 10.


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[Assistant] He goes, no one's come from your angle. He goes, we had Southern guys, we got Asian guys, maybe one or two, never both.


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[Assistant] And then Shana came up then and he's like, we got to get him on TV. So it didn't hurt me.


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[Assistant] To do the tonight show when i was already already had stuff going on you know but you know as well as i do.


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[Assistant] The Tonight Show with Johnny back then? Yea, that was the Holy Grail.


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[Assistant] Oh man. Yeah. I remember that whole, uh, it was unbelievable. And there was so much tension. Um, cause I remember I was doing Arsenio.


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[Assistant] And it was a couple nights before I was supposed to go on and I ran into Jay at the county magic club. Yeah. And, uh.


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[Assistant] He just said, Hey, you know, I know you're doing Arsenio and they're supposed to be this big thing, but there's not. So he didn't say if or when, if he said, when I take over the tonight show, I still want you to do both shows. And I went, you're seriously taking over the tonight show. And he goes, and I go, Hmm.


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[Assistant] I heard different, but okay. So sure enough, a few weeks later, he took over. Oh yeah. Y'all were here in Letterman.


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[Assistant] Jay would go on Letterman with his beef. Yeah.


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[Assistant] What's your beef today? You know, my beef today is, why do people do, you know, he always had that. So it wasn't like he went on and was just Jay.


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[Assistant] A great host. He was a great host. And his monologues kill. No one did a monologue better and longer time-wise.


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[Assistant] No, no. So when Kona took over, here's the crazy thing. So mid nineties, I'm doing front app videos. I talk, uh, NBC and so we piggyback the tonight show.


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[Assistant] So now all of a sudden I'm on that stage every week for two years.


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[Assistant] Same stage, same camera guys, uh, Jay finished his statement. Hey, good night everybody. Whatever the theme song was. And then boom, audience sleeves. I come in, I sit in Jay's chair.


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[Assistant] Put my feet up on his desk, we run through sketches, blah, blah, blah. So.


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[Assistant] Same deal. Okay. Then I say, okay, let's break for dinner. We go cater, come back. We shoot from seven to nine. Every week.


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[Assistant] Every week I get super comfortable and then it became this weird.


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[Assistant] Thing where, Oh, I know what's going to win. So I get to host NBC's New Year's Eve.


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[Assistant] So I'm downtown watching a ball drop. I'm up there. Got Andy Richter with me. I wrote all these sketches. I wrote one for me and Conan for us to be underneath the tree at Rock 30 Rock.


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[Assistant] And we're inside the barricades. And he and I are touching the tree. And he looks at me and goes.


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[Assistant] During the holidays. Yeah. And I, and I told everybody, I said, if I do this in one take, it'll only, you'll only be on for 10 minutes.


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[Assistant] So everybody pay attention, I'm gonna do it in one take, and you know what? I'm just doing one take. Even- Dude, y'all been off and up. Let's go.


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[Assistant] So I shot it and I skated out there and I did this whole bit and Tim Meadows came out and we did this whole thing.


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[Assistant] So we do all this in Conan, so I'm doing all this.


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[Assistant] And so they asked me to do some, hey, come right back, you know, stay tuned, come right back from his desk. Yeah. And I said, no.


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[Assistant] You know, until he's not here, I'm not getting in that chair.


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[Assistant] Are you, are you, I go, I'm doing nothing, dude. I'm here just, I piggyback Jay. It's the only reason I'm in New York.


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[Assistant] And all the stuff, I said, but I got nothing to do with what's going on with you. I said, you're the best one out of everybody.


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[Assistant] So, just keep it down. So, he was like on the chopping block, but somehow you got over it, and then he just boom.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they didn't get it. And he was, he was on, I mean, he was literally on, cause they were grooming Craig Kinnear and all this stuff. And I'm like.


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[Assistant] I got nothing to do with any of that. I wrote these bits just so I could like do stuff.


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[Assistant] Captain was, wasn't clean until, uh, I talked him into it. He was dirty. You kidding?


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[Assistant] Anyway, but yeah, we're Connie Magic Club. So me, Alex, Murray, we're all sitting back there.


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[Assistant] Gaffin's got to go pick up his now wife. She still doesn't like me for this. And I'm like, send a car service.


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[Assistant] Alex was like, you know, why can't you do it like Henry? He goes, well now we can do it like him. I don't know about all this stuff. And I said, not one of your jokes has a cuss word in it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's all throw away. You'll tell a joke and they go, what the F is that for? All this is all outside noise. I said, just stop that. Just do your show and tell the jokes. County match club goes up. Probably only does 25% profanity than normal destroys. Yeah.


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[Assistant] So, you know, you got your other guys, but that they stay in one genre. Like Christian comedy? Like Christian. Yeah. And as I get slammed all the time, cause I always say, I've never labeled myself a Christian comedian.


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[Assistant] There weren't that many, it was, uh, you know, like everybody considered Bill Ingbaugh at the time clean and then people go see his act and they go, man, you know, he said it f-word a lot. Oh yeah, but that's just talking, you know, cause you hear that, but you don't hear it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Right. So, and, uh, Foxworthy was super clean. He had a couple of jokes where he had to throw in a cuss word and we re we had rewritten this one joke every way you could.


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[Assistant] And he goes, you know, it just don't work. It does. When my wife comes out and goes, I'm not going, I look like heck. I look like crap. I look, it doesn't work. He's got to say, and so he goes, I tried. I'm just telling you, Henry, I tried, but tonight I'm saying it. So there were guys that effort was there.


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[Assistant] And Seinfeld, of course, was super clean. Larry Miller. And, uh, Dennis Würthberg was crazy clean. And, uh, so I was a Young Life leader when I started comedy, so that's why I was clean.


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[Assistant] I thought I might have high school kids showing up to my shows and I knew I couldn't do that.


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[Assistant] And, uh, so yeaah, there wasn't a lot.


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[Assistant] Which is a huge thing. Yeah, matter of fact, that's something else about uhm, you know, going to


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[Assistant] Auditions and doing TV deals as we were talking about, uh, back in the fall.


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[Assistant] You know, one of my agents when I was young said something, uh, uh, uh, still resonates with me. He goes, you don't understand. Henry will be there on time and he won't be hung over.


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[Assistant] And you won't have to bury something in the tabloids.


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[Assistant] He's going to show up and work, and you'll never have to worry about him. And I just thought, wow, okay, that makes sense.


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[Assistant] And so, uh, Hicks is on stage here. Hey Henry, you in the room? I go, yeah, Bill, I'm back here. He goes, hey, uh.


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[Assistant] Uh, he was the guy, and he was unbelievable. Yeah, yeah, he was, he was probably, I probably worked with him, oh my goodness.


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[Assistant] Few times we did, uh, I did West Palm beach with him. I'll never get walked upstairs. He's up there like he's, uh, in the Scarface movie, big mound, you know, man, you're the clean guy. Put his head back down.


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[Assistant] And then I was on a plane with him, America West, that's how long ago it was, America West Airlines. And, uh, we were flying from LA to Vegas. And it was, he was doing a bunch of gigs in Laughlin, which actually, you know, shortly after that is where he died, car wreck, going to Laughlin.


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[Assistant] So yeaah, Hicks was, uh, Hicks, Kennison, the whole, uh, outlaws, uh, from Texas.


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[Assistant] Uh, carla bow who stills around the most around, but Hicks was, um, I'm telling you, I.


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[Assistant] I've never seen anybody who could take something, I couldn't, I've never seen any comedian take something and.


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[Assistant] Just twist it somehow and make it even better. And I'm like, I mean, he was, we were in a Walthouse one time and we're, you know, he's sitting there, he's got a book and.


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[Assistant] You know, I don't know, it's like four in the morning or something. We both had books. We just sit there and just chill and read. Yeah. Get out of the condo. And so we had a paperback and our waitress said, uh, what you reading for? And he's like,


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's when you'd see Hicks, you'd go, okay, what he just did, I would never do. Like him smashing the wall. I would never do that. But you know what? It was hilarious.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're like, oh, I'm running this place right now. They'll still be here when I get back. I remember Shirley Hemphill dropped the mic to go pee one time. That's genius. I got to go pee y'all. Hang on. And she just dropped the mic.


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[Assistant] You never leave it empty. I still do the same. I do that when I'm doing a corporate thing and this, you know, the CEO or whomever introduces me.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Saget was the guy and, and you know, everybody knows if you've seen him, you know, the contrast between his television personality and his stand up live. I mean, he was filthy and he was irreverent and he was hilarious.


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[Assistant] Hilarious, but he always took care of everybody. Um, you know, I think back in the day we'd all be hanging out and there'd be.


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[Assistant] A lot of names. Yeah, but like, you know, we'd be sitting around and it'd be like.


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[Assistant] No one would do that until Bob said that and they're, and you're looking around the table going, well, heck, every one of us are there that can do that. But we always just.


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[Assistant] One of my favorite stories is, uh, their manager who had a lot of big clients had a dinner. And so there's like, I don't know, eight people at the table. And so Gary Shanley sitting like here.


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[Assistant] And Bob comes in and a joke they used to always do whenever they gathered, uh, one of them would fake trip and put their face in the other's lap.


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[Assistant] And says, Gary looks down at him and says, I don't know who these other two people are.


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[Assistant] Uh, Hard Rock Hotel Vegas, that I do remember and.


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[Assistant] So then sag, it's MC because he takes care of everybody. So.


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[Assistant] Saget's getting ready to introduce me, but before that, he goes off on a tangent about he and Tom being together the night.


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[Assistant] Last night and all the things they were doing and just got as graphic as you can imagine Bob Shaggett would get. And he looks down the list and goes, Oh, sorry, Hank.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so, uh, I moved 89, L.A., uh, I'd worked with Dave Collier previously, and, uh, they have just started Full House. I don't even know when it started. Maybe 89, could have been the year, maybe 88.


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[Assistant] Um, so, and I knew Saget from the, you just know names. Yeah. And, uh, you know, cause everybody toured back then and, uh, you didn't just pop up and boom. Um, uh, Kuye.


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[Assistant] Turn 30, that's how long ago this was, and he had a birthday party, so we all show up, and there's all, you know.


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[Assistant] And that's probably the first time I ever really hung out with them. Not at a club, just saying, Hey, or something. So.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you take away his, his standup act and I love the way his mind was bent, but.


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[Assistant] You look at his television persona and that's who he was. He was the guy.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So I'll never forget when he started doing standup again, shortly after the videos.


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[Assistant] You know, so, you know, my daughter, she's, uh, you know, I don't know, seven like that. I am nuts over her. Well, she's about that tall. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And, uh, but that's how his brain worked. And it was, I'll never, the first time he did that, that I saw, uh, was at a showcase, you know, he was doing a spot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we, we got ripped off. Yeah. Yes. We got ripped off some years here. So, I mean, 65. Come on. That's, that's how I feel. I feel like we, uh, you know, you always do the rest, rest in peace and you know.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, no, but like Bill Hicks, you know, guy had cancer and Mitch Hedberg and all these guys, you go through them all and you just kind of go, you know, there's some, but what.


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[Assistant] I don't know what happened and we don't know yet. And maybe by the time this airs, we, we know, but, um, yeah, we got ripped off. That's how I feel.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, and not many guys, I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut you off, but my-


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[Assistant] Not many guys you go through, Norm MacDonald you said, and, you know, a lot of these guys, you sit there and go,


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[Assistant] I personally, I sit there and go, oh wow, what's, when's the last time I saw them? What's the last conversation we had? Um, cause none of them come as a, they shouldn't come as a shock. And this one's a shock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one hurts. This is worse than, you know, when the old guys go, you know, Don Rickles goes, you sit there and go, wow, that's crazy. You know, and, but that's a different thing. He was in his, you know, he was, he was in the waiting room. Yes.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, but those are the guys. So, uh, but guys like...


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[Assistant] Y'all and I don't want, I don't mean to put you in a, it's just different age bracket. Okay. And career, uh, starting point.


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[Assistant] Uh, so, I mean, guys like Sagat, Seinfeld, Shanlin, Shanlin's Gone. I mean, those guys, to you, were like...


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[Assistant] When, you know, Newhart's still around, Cosby's still around, Rickles was in his nineties, Bob Hope.


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[Assistant] They were doing press things, so we took a picture and I wasn't going to ask for his autograph. And I took the script that we had, or five comedians, six maybe.


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[Assistant] Crazy, so he's 92 and they prop him up and say, Hey, I got to tell you, you know, he played, I think, I mean, he was amazing.


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[Assistant] Just amazing. So Bob Hope, Milton Berle, George Burns, all these guys I met and, uh, uh, Rickles was to.


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[Assistant] And as a matter of fact, Saget is the one who's always said,


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[Assistant] When you get insulted by Rickles, it's the greatest thing in the world. And Rickles used to always come up to me, we'd have a conversation.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're right. Thanks for having me, man. You know, they're our guys. And you're the guy. It was funny.


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[Assistant] Yeah, stay close to home in January. So, Tullahoma, uh, Friday night and, uh.


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[Assistant] America runs on it, dude. That's what they say. America runs on Dunkin'.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but it's beautiful. People aren't friendly, that kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, something like that. Never heard of it. Yeaah. Joseph. We were, you were talking about a whiskey and you thought that we were all talking about a guy. A guy. Yeaah. Well, he's smooth. Yeaah, it's not like that.


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[Assistant] I also, we did just find that out and you're really excited about it.


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[Assistant] One of the production people just switched my cup. Yeah, why did they do that? Does that mean I was drinking out of a dirty used cup? Oh, you were. Oh man.


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[Assistant] Yeah. That's how we do it on Batesville. I'm a germaphobe and that's gonna...


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[Assistant] You're almost too big to do crowd work now. It's like you up there in the fourth level. What was that?


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[Assistant] You're gonna get some homemade shoes. Yeah, I gotta get like, yeah. Some psychopaths gonna whittle you some shoes.


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[Assistant] This morning we worked out and the, the workout guy, uhm, uh, for whatever reason, uh, Matt, so whatever reason, like the countertops came up in conversation and Nate kept calling it granite. He said granite.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's collusion. But, but I, he told that story and I was like, man, I just can't even get past how you say granite. Yeah.


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[Assistant] 20 years I've been saying this. We had the 20s, 30s, all the way to the 90s, and then the year 2000 happened.


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[Assistant] I was a young boy and I was like, what are we gonna call it? And there was no answer.


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[Assistant] For a decade. And then I was like, a next decade happened. I was like, what are we gonna call it? And everyone just...


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[Assistant] They just said that they called the whole 20 years the 2000s.


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[Assistant] They say early 2000s, late 2000s, which makes no sense.


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[Assistant] It's the, you know, I mean, I go, okay fine, you can go early 2000s, or the aughts is the first 10 years, and the next 10 years, I still, the teens, that doesn't make any sense, cause what about, you know, 10, 11, 12? There's no answer. It pisses me right off.


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[Assistant] I heard, I hear, I hear most often the early 2000s is the first 10 years.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing, it's 2021. We're halfway through 2021, people.


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[Assistant] In the, in popular culture. You don't hear it. I do not hear it. Psych guys. Yeah. So we don't have it yet. We're still on this charade.


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[Assistant] Just floating in purgatory, not graphing, grating on anything. Man, I'm gonna nerf.


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[Assistant] Wait, I wanna know where I am. Where am I? Where am I? Just where do I live?


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah. It's crazy. I, yeah, I have a little, slightly less of an uptick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, different. Were you in the US?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was probably doing the same thing in the beginning of the decade and it's a couple years ahead of me. And then, uh, in New York, I was in New York and then in 2011, I had to move back to Canada for almost four years. And then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2019? That would have been in New York? I'm gonna start working at the...


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[Assistant] I've been, you know, this decade I haven't had a day. I can't remember. Like it's been so long since I've had a day job. That's something. That's a win for sure, man. I have savings somehow.


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[Assistant] Well yeaah, well I was like on a tourist visa the whole time I was there. And so it just got, that was like, it got to a point where like I needed to get, I got a Conan audition and I wasn't legally allowed to do Conan. So I just was like, okay, let's do this properly. Let's do this right.


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[Assistant] And I tried, I was hoping it would take a year and it just takes four years. I had to save up money to hire a lawyer.


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[Assistant] Cost like almost $15,000. I took out a huge loan and had to like basically become like a D-list celebrity in my country of origin in order to like achieve all the little check marks that you need to basically prove to the American government that I am so funny.


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[Assistant] That I won't be on welfare when I come here. That I will contribute to society and not take away.


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[Assistant] And in order to prove that you have to like do a zillion things and hire a lawyer to make sure all of your things are in order and you do it right. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Within a year, I didn't have a day job. I remember I worked at a restaurant for years and I, I, I hated it. And like people treat you, treat you badly. And then, and I remember just being like, one day I'm going to be a full-time comedian and I'm going to walk into my job and be like, you stink, you stink, you're cool, you stink, you know, do one of those big things.


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[Assistant] And I got, I booked an Axe body spray commercial and I had a two, uh, a tour out west in Canada for two weeks. And I was like, I looked at like my finances and I was like, I looked at my bookings and I was like, Oh my, I think I can quit my job.


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[Assistant] And like, so I went on tour for two weeks and I came back and I walked into my job and I was like, so excited.


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[Assistant] To just let it all out and be like, you stink, you stink. I walked in.


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[Assistant] They fired the manager and completely changed the staff and no one remembered me.


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[Assistant] Uh, when I first moved to Toronto, I wanted to live on my own and it was this, the size of this room and I had everything in it my whole life.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's like almost like New York prices, but I got, it was 600 bucks and all, everything was included.


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[Assistant] This is like 2011, 10 years ago and uhm, and like I had to pay in cash. I paid a Russian guy in the basement in cash. And there was a guy who lived beside me or below me and he had a bunch of like, it was a kind of building where, where the,


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[Assistant] This guy had like a bunch of like, uh, printed out of a printer, Harley Davidson, uh, logos and, and he had a bunch of like handwritten, like cops keep out. It was a good building.


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[Assistant] I have my own bathroom. It was a fully contained apartment. One time I was like partying with some friends and my friend was like, you know, that girl likes you. And we were all going back to my apartment to like hang out and like basically, you know, sit on my bed and drink. And, uh, she came like a bit later.


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[Assistant] I had like a, one of the walls had a sink and a microwave. Yeah. Yeah. Everything. Yeah. It was like, uh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, it was, it was good for that time in my life, but, you know, it's like all of a sudden you're like 32 and you're like, I don't have a car. I live in literally a closet.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's the smallest apartment I ever had. I had more after parties in that apartment. Now I live in a two bedroom by myself and it's like hard to get people.


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[Assistant] Because it doesn't matter in that little tiny place. It's like this is temporary, this is not an investment. All this furniture is a dollar.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And watching people like, I think there was a big baseball game happening. Yep. And everybody checking their phones.


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[Assistant] Oh my. The place goes nuts. If you want a man in jorts, you're probably not wrong.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Kate Middleton really got overshadowed by Meghan Markle, didn't she?


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[Assistant] Yes, we were, uh, the, uh, what's it called? Good, uh, oh my gosh. Good, uh, my brain's broken. Fellows. Oh my. Commonwealth. I kept saying goodwill, no. Goodwill, no. Brain, we discussed this. Good money. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, my generation doesn't care, but I think my mom is the last generation to really care. She's like, my mom is an immigrant and she loves the queen. She's like, she just loves the whole thing, the pomp and ceremony.


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[Assistant] That's what I'm saying, it makes no sense. She just loves it though.


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[Assistant] There was a wait in my household when she died. Like I just remember being a little kid and just being like, man, this is bad. It was like, I dunno, what would JFK got shot or something, I imagine. It was like a week long problem in my house.


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[Assistant] There's a big, The Crown had it all played out. I want to watch that. It's the only show my dad can get my mom to watch with him. This is The Crown.


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[Assistant] To like, new people? To like, Gen Z? To them, Seinfeld is like, the Andy, uh, riff-a-show to us. That's how far it is away.


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[Assistant] Okay, Batman. Batman. The bat from the 60s. Or Star Trek from the 60s.


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[Assistant] They're doing a 90's show, like, for the 70's? That's interesting.


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[Assistant] Well, it's, it's this, these are huge franchises before their movies, right? So they know it's going to be a hit movie because it already has this built-in fan base that is going to watch it even if it's bad, even if they...


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[Assistant] I just think that they're, they're out there, all those things are out there, it's just that the studios are, they're, they seem to be...


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[Assistant] More risk averse than ever. Yeah. So we're just like, if we make this superhero movie.


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[Assistant] We know and we don't have to worry about a lot of dialogue. We just make as long as it does.


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[Assistant] People are going to watch it in America and it's going to do well in China. Those are the two biggest markets we care about and the less dialogue.


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[Assistant] The, then the better it is because we, the more sense it'll make in China.


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[Assistant] I think people are like you, are like bored. We're getting pretty bored. I mean I was bored from the beginning.


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[Assistant] There's new comic books. There's all sorts of new ones. I mean, I don't...


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[Assistant] I'm not a comic book guy, but like I'll go in, like I, I'm always looking for stuff for my brother.


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[Assistant] And so every once in a while I go to like a comic book store and...


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[Assistant] And then they're like, what about this? What about that? This is a cool new series. And I'm like, I, you know, it's, there's a lot out there.


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[Assistant] They're the suits. The suits are not creative. They're just, they're just.


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[Assistant] Just a break. No screens. Just a break from screens.


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[Assistant] If I ever bike, I would, one of the things that got me through the pandemic is looking at used cars, just old cars and being like, I could buy that.


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[Assistant] You know, three victims that day. The Bronco. Bronco. Yea.


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[Assistant] Yeah, positive. I took a challenge that was like the first ever. It was kind of fun because it was like everybody in every country was doing it. It was like we're all connected doing this fun thing that ultimately had a good cause.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, I don't know. It was great. Did you do one? It was great. No, no.