[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I've got this friend of mine who's got this, um, he's got a couple of young babies and he's also got like this big, big dog. And so the car is just, you know, the dad van is just basically, it smells like car, like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The weird thing is like some people stink and it's actually like kind of a nice cozy stink. It's like Tom obviously is a smoker, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, he's like, he has like this kind of tobacco-y aroma around him all the time. And it's like, fine. It's quite nice, right? But I guess other people might find that unpleasant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sort of, I do, I'm sure, look, I'm sure I'm not the best. Also my washing machine is broken somehow at the moment and it won't take the fabric softener, so all of my laundry is like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm thinking there's a couple of things here. One, when you asked her out, you didn't know that she'd had a breakup. But does that mean you didn't know she had a boyfriend?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, then the rejection of you, the rejection I feel like is a very easy excuse, right? And a very lazy one too. It's almost like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, like, my concern with that is that that seems like, yea, like Zip said, the ball is in her court now. I wouldn't ask again, because I think that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would expect another excuse along those lines, like, oh, you know, I've, I've got, um, still, still sorting myself out or, you know, I'm still, I think that she always has, I'm not ready yet. You know, there's always a very easy excuse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She'll make that clear in some way. You know, she'll find ways to hang out with you. She'll mention hanging out with you. You'll spend time together naturally. And then you won't have to ask her out inverted commas because you already have just been going out, doing stuff together, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think going for some sort of plan is, is, or, or Hollywood style. Would you like to go on a drink with me? Your kind of thing. Would you like to go on a drink?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess like, I guess like my just, my feeling is if like, in my experience, if they're interested in you, they'll let you know, right? They, they, I think that, and in some ways you can make yourself more attractive by just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, not being too hungry for it, right? Like I think that in some ways-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just be a cool guy to hang out with that is around and interesting and fun. And you'll find that other people would be attracted to you as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is a fascinating job. I'm imagining like all of these jobs, it sounds incredibly glamorous and we have this imagination of what it is, but the reality is 90% of the time you're sat around


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, doing, doing regular boring stuff. And then, you know, there must be these awful worrying moments where someone's unearthed something in the garden, you know, it turns out it's just an old lamp or something, you know, and it's not actually a bomb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, defusing these old bombs must be such a fucking crapshoot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, what's the worst word for dick that you can think of? But then when you think of like, the ones for women, like, I don't know, an axe wound or a sausage wallet, any of these things, it's just fucking awful. It smells so bad. Oh my god!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm, I think I only, I don't know. I don't know, let's say, I'd say, I'd say 20.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it from Team Double Dragon? We wanted to have a video game name, we wanted to be three, three of us, instead of double.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say it was probably, I can't go like half an hour without talking about World of Warcraft. I think it's probably World of Warcraft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're worried about Dexter's, remember they're good serial killers, so they only kill people who are suspected of or guilty of crimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but they're more like a vigilante though, aren't they? Do you know what I mean? Everyone loves a vigilante. Oh yeah. You know? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's life though, isn't it? You might have a lovely time in Singapore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, they failed to elect someone, and there's like no government. And it all plods along just fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or are we gonna get some new bureaucracy of apparatchiks and flunkies? You know, what, what's the, what's the situation gonna be? Or, you know, is King Charles having to make all the decisions?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it would obviously be awful, but how awful compared to what we have, you know? Uhm, I dunno, people always say that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's perfect. I think that's, I think you wanna get people in who, who, well, I'm assuming she applied, but uhm, I like those, I like those requirements, like, of being like a good person or whatever. I mean, god, like, that would knock off like most of the heads of state.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and the same thing with uhm, if you have an OnlyFans, you can be arrested. Really? Seriously? It's like, obscenity, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the hell are you gonna do if you can't vape then?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, what a theme song. We should, uhm, it's a shame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not everybody's dashboard is where you expect it to be, much like those aliens on Star Trek 6 when they're in prison. Remember when he's like, kicks them in the knee and he's like, aw shit, that was my penis actually? Maybe Jake's dashboard was in the back seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Jake, we're glad that you're alive to tell the tale and that you weren't too, um, busted up about it. But, uh, technically a 2009 car is not an old vintage car, um, and it's not reliable either. So that's where he went wrong, is that what you're saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes! Yeah, cause isn't there, there's like some component on farming equipment, it's like, is it like a computer or something that is very popular to steal nowadays? Like people are stealing all this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now I think they're opting for like some older, more reliable machinery and not using like the GPS and stuff, you know, they're just using their farming instincts like we used to do. You know, we're going back to our roots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We used to walk, uh, we used to walk above ground and we had clean water hailed by trumpets. So there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, we just wrote, uh, we just wrote a better game than anything that was featured in the Summer Games Fest, uh, that was on, uh, recently. So congrats, we've done it. With just that? With the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's real life, homie. That's a game. Art imitates life, flax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A bit of advice here, uh, but it is something that might make you feel a bit depressed about the stage of your life that you've gone to. You could install some rails in your, in your bathroom, all over the place, inside the shower. Maybe install one of those little seats that you can sit down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and use the shower that way, you know? Like uhm, it's nothing to be ashamed of if you're 15 years old and you're falling over in the shower or whatever. Just get a couple of rails and a seat and stuff and you're good to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever heard about uhm, people who pee in the shower? Cause apparently there's something in your piss that's actually quite good for your feet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's a gateway to just like taking a full dump in the shower, but I'm trying to think of like what the, what the benefits of doing that are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that. It's like the secret garden, but, uh, but like a rave and a toilet instead of, um, whatever happens in the secret garden. I think it's just they move some, um, some vines out of the way or whatever. And there's like a doorway into some magical place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've never heard of it, and uhm, I've never been to anywhere like that before. And uhm, if you speak to my lawyer about it as well, he'll also confirm that that's the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's uhm, there are some like old, old uhm, uhm, kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Classic, uhm, you know, restaurants and stuff still kicking around in Ottawa, I guess, though, like depending what part of the city you live in. I'm assuming if you're going to university there, then you live in and around Sandy Hill, which would make sense. It's an old neighborhood. So, but no, I've never been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a lot of that. Yeah, if you bought, like, if you bought this establishment a long ass time ago when it was like, probably cost pennies to straight up buy the premises and just keep operating, and you have a really loyal customer base, it just becomes your life, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry. You do all of your mental processing at night when you're asleep, so maybe you wake up with a, with a freshened perspective on things that you then feel like you need to catalog. Alright, alright, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Step counting, yea, you could probably mention, a quick mention to your Fitbit in there too, or maybe even integrate it into the app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What uhm, what was the first thing you did with your Nintendo Wii?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause the first time I ever played a Nintendo Wii was at work. I worked in an office and we had like a, you know, they'd fucking like team building shit they do, you know, like we had like, it was like a fun Friday, like the last hour of Friday. They had like a whole meeting room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, booked out and so like my whole department got to go and just like, you know, drink


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of that stuff you can just get on the Nintendo shop now, through your Switch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The original Bioshock? Bioshock must've come out in like 2006 or something? 2007.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hated broccoli when I was a kid and I eat it all the goddamn time now. Like it's, it's kinda the same, right? When you're a kid you don't know what the fuck you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know, you know, some of your takes are pretty, pretty bad and your opinions, uh, suck and my favorite band is better than your favorite band and all that kind of stuff. And then you, you become an adult and you, you change your mind. It's like, it's not that surprising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's interesting to think about chess and like modern games and stuff too, because I feel like chess


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? This kind of stuff would never happen, and hopefully one day chess is overtaken by this. Portal 1, no glitch speedrunning, I think, is the future, right? Cause you can really build the rules to be very


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, but I mean, Factorio is a game where when you get past, um, you know, getting iron out of the ground and smelting it, your brain just starts to melt, right? Like thinking about how you need to scale and fit things in or whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's odd, I don't want to play a new game like that. I don't want to play a platformer, but I will quite happily go back and play for nostalgic reasons a platformer that I've played like as a kid or whatever. Like I played through Mega Man 2 somewhat recently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, do you think you could get a Deliveroo from that place? Maybe they've like, maybe they've gone into, they've entered the, they've entered the now, you know, maybe they're, maybe they're linked up. Maybe they're on the food delivery network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of infrastructure in like, uh, in, in Ireland for like, uh, payment processing and stuff like that, because I think they just subsidized a lot of these big companies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, alright. This looks like the kind of, uhm, this looks like a very, very, uhm, like assembly line type shed, right? Like you're doing, you are doing work in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what this is missing actually, uhm, uh, writer in? You need one of those integrated suction systems for all the sawdust and stuff, you know? Like it's like the tubes go, you could get the tubes like up in that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In that left siding, like where the, uh, where the wall meets the roof sort of thing. You get the tubing up there and then just get the, maybe even put like the cylinder outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, when you're in there doing your woodworking, uh, it can be just sucking up all the sawdust as you go. It'd be perfect. Gotta wear a mask in there too, I think. This is, this is a workshop, it's not a shed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My garage is not actually a garage, it's just a house extension. When you're in here, you feel like you're indoors, like inside the house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like, it looks like you're doing a lot of whittling in here, right? Or like you're doing like very like small specific things to wood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not like, y'know, cuttin' big planks and stuff. Like, everything looks very small and specific, like, even like that little saw on the wall at the back, it's just like a tiny saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ben, can you get a pair, you gotta be able to get a pair of boxer shorts with a print on the, on the, on the ass, which is like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He might just be part of like, uh, his own little like, uh, you know, cooling system or whatever, you know? He's busy, he's working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the plumber came round and it was Karma and Elektra and she was like working on your pipes and you could see her ass crack and stuff, you wouldn't be complaining, would you? You'd be like, oh nice, holy crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a look at the time, right? Like you look back now and you think, what the hell was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna look all out of proportion though. It's not natural, right? Like the rest of your limbs are, are, are, are, are sort of like relatively, uh, long compared to the other ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello. We made it here. We're live. Triforce Live. It's a pleasure. Thank you for joining us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So we normally record Triforce on Thursdays at 10. Uh, so this is a bit off kilter, partly because yesterday you had to go and have a camera put into your penis. Yes. Yes, I did. Thanks for bringing that up. We're just talking about now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Definitely the, we've noticed this year, the kids have been more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I bought something old manny this week, so I bought this pair of like, um, compression arthritis gloves or whatever for hands, because I felt my hands were getting really cold when I was playing games, and I thought like this might help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is my, I did this, you know, this is my art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've got those in the office. I've got a couple of giant pictures of myself at the office. Nice. But, you know, you've got to put something on the walls, haven't you? I can't, I can't have empty walls or buy some like Ikea artwork. You know, I've got to have something that means something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is, they do look like someone's thrown shit at them actually. But that's part of it, you know? You see what you wanna see. Is that how you did it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, you gotta put that kind of, uhm, story behind it. That's the art. So yeaah, I was nearly late this morning, and I'm doing it from home of course, I should be in the studio, but uhm. You gotta stand at the desk at home?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a washing machine delivered this morning, three men. I didn't know whether they would make it in time, because they said they gave me a window between nine and one. And of course they turn up at, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, we're gonna find out now. Oh, here we go. It's a logic. I have never heard of that brand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna have to figure it out. I've just, the problem is the old one just was slowly going wrong, like it wouldn't open after cycles and it was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not taking fabric softener, you know, it was just like gradually becoming just falling apart. And so obviously now I've just replaced it with another cheap one. Again, this is just, this is just what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like some moths in my cupboard on my clothes and I'm like, shit. So I went through the whole cupboard and pulled everything out and I found like four or five little clothes moths.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I've just forgotten that we are doing this live. Uhm, yeaah. I sort of forgot that we were for a second. Just to let people know this is, this is a thing. We can, they can ask. It's pickaxe. Potentially this could be mailbag live. Now some people obviously don't love the mailbag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go, look, lolip is in chat, says lmao hi, got, that's not a question, uhm, lolip, that's not helpful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, you just sort by, you just have all, you just have no filter. No filter? Oh, I have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi, I'm here to, I hear you ordered a new washing machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes we just pop to the loo in the middle or something and have a little, we can't do that now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I'm just too, I don't, I don't need much, I'm just in like, little flat, I don't want a bigger house or even a house, it would just be me in there, this is fine, like, I've got me and my moths.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think all the artists we've got at Yogs are like, pervs as well, cos Nina drew that, like, uhm, fan art of Simon as Simon's sexy cats for Christmas, and that's her favourite Jingle Jam moment apparently. Uhm, and it was like a sort of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Harry was originally a Sips fan, for sure, and did some, like, channel backgrounds. This must be 12 years ago now. 2011. And, um, and then eventually, eventually he, he, we recruit, we, we- Yeah, when he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he finished school or whatever, or college, I don't know what he did. He did a thing. We didn't, but with Sarah it's similar, she's not 15 years old, Sarah. Yolktok, she's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you could use the rinse if it's not like half, if it's half full.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big load accumulations, the thing that chat was like. You can't let a big load accumulate in the build up. You gotta let it out. You gotta like, turn that release valve occasionally and just hope for the best. My 27 year old fiancee still does the cup thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has, yeaah. Do you reckon Trump's, I think the, I think that they, the abortion thing has alienated a lot of people, but do you reckon, cause Trump's a big baby, right? He thinks that if people have more babies, they'll be like him and vote Republican. Right. They'll be more family oriented if they have a family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read a thing, I saw a thing this week that was like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The great funny thing about immigration is that they didn't come here first. We went to their country, took it over, and made them a British subject. And then they were like, oh, I could go anywhere in the Commonwealth now. And obviously that was something that was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talking about politics as well, obviously you mentioned that there's like a cost of living crisis, okay? Yeah. Aye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read this week that it is obviously going to put 350 million people into food insecurity, which is their new way of saying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just such a bullshit way of saying, but on the bright side, uhm, this is kind of like a carbon tax, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm setting up this by saying, obviously, we need to do something to help people, and it's such a nasty way, like food insecurity is such a nasty way of saying people are gonna starve to death. You know, it's kind of like hiding the problem. It's like, food insurance doesn't sound like that much of a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It obviously is a huge, huge problem. My thing is that a lot of people who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, like, this has happened time and time again, right? Covid, you know, there was a big sort of idea that, oh, the climate was better because, uhm, you know, people weren't going out. And the financial crisis as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the, in the, in the climate, in the, in the financial crisis, there was this huge shutdown of lots of stuff, which was obviously terrible, but it did help the climate, okay, but then afterwards they did all this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it- Well, what happened was that the stimulus that they put out after the financial crisis undid all of the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good, inverted commas, goods that came out of uhm, the, the, the, the, I think it's a similar thing this year. And I, I, I just wonder, like, I don't know, because I, I, I'm fascinated by these, like, ideas that you think you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, or I think it sounds like something would be good for the environment, right? If everyone was using the electricity, they would try, they were wearing more jumpers, they were saving money, they were like, you know, not wasting as much. That sounds good, but in reality does that actually lead to more pollution because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Food is like being made cheaper or people are doing, like what, what's?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Help the anything, you know, it might lead to slow up uptake of, you know, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know anything, chat. As you know, this is not the podcast for informed discussion. It's the podcast for me having weird theories about stuff and asking you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the, this is the campaign of modern warfare too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so the plot of Modern Warfare 2, not really a spoiler. Don't spoil it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who cares? Uh, is that an Iranian general has teamed up with Russian arms dealers and Mexican drug cartels or possibly Colombian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they set up this, like, they smuggled this missile through Amsterdam, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this was just one of my jumpers that didn't have any moths on it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As far as I know, although I have been like, all the podcasts I've been like, feeling itchy, almost like I am covered in moths. Uh, it's ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard mothballs are really bad for you. They're like not even allowed anymore. They're like illegal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not concerned about, I'm not concerned about moths, uhm, well I am, but I'm not concerned about saving them, do you know what I mean? I think there's, there's, on the list of things that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe you. Already. That's weird. So you prick your finger, give it a little bit of blood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, this is how we end up with a global apocalypse, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I think that's a good, good thing to say to him as well. How do you feel about bees, Sips?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got some great bits in it, old father Ted. Someone in chat just asked if we've seen the new season of the crown yet, Sips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is really good, but it's one of those stupid things where I kinda don't wanna watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played a bit of Cyberpunk 2077 and a bit of the Campaign Upon Warfare 2, which, which both didn't, neither of them particularly grabbed me. Uhm, but I was really sick last couple of weeks ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's taking me a couple of weeks to recover. Fuck, I don't know, I keep saying this, I think it might, I'm worried I'll have like some long COVID, because every month I get like two or three days of like fever and fatigue, and I didn't believe that long COVID was a thing until I started getting it, you know, as is the way of humans, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My loads are not building up in the dishwasher. They are being in full flow. I'm getting up, I'm not dizzy and I'm coming everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, and also, you know, I've made a note of that, uhm, I'm on camera so I can't pretend that I've actually made a note. I've made a note of that porn star, P-Flax, for later. What was her name again? Eva Elfie. Eva Elfie. Write that down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I also feel great. So I played a bit of Anno, which is my like return to game when I just want to turn off my brain and not think about anything. Sometimes I use like Factorio Satisfactory for the same sort of, it's almost like a chore. It's like doing the dishwasher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, taking all the plates out, putting them in the right spaces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One single solitary cup. I'm wasteful on, you know, I've got plenty of space, you know, so I can just use multiple cups and glasses myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, we want to make sure, I've got space in that dishwasher, so, you know, we want to make sure the, it gets good use out of the, so yeah, sorry, no, I, I don't know, I just like to, I like to play these, which, they're basically jobs, uhm, these games, uhm, when you really get into them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, like any game that's addictive becomes this kind of, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you don't see it necessarily. You just, it's always like a, it's like a habit. You know, you just automatically load up the game that you're playing that you're not enjoying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think generally a lot of people do only play one game and if you tell them, you know, if you ask them, do you love that game? They say, uh, uh, you know, and so I think that like I've tried to fight that with, you know, jingle jam and, um, tiny teams and like these, these, these things where I try and force myself to play somewhere different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I always return to the world of Warcraft because I spent 10 years in there and met all of you guys there and this is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's got a lot of fond memories, a lot of pathways in my brain, a lot of like serotonin or whatever the chemicals are that feels cozy even though I know it's shit. It's dopamine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think again, my, my mantra is I refuse to do a daily quest. Like I refuse to do the same thing again. Like even in Dota, I try and play different heroes every game. You're like the guy that goes to the restaurant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is easy, the easy option is just do what you, do what you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, for example, Ravs and Duncan went out a couple of times this week. I couldn't even go out with them though. They were a couple places. They went to Spitfire, which is this grill place. That sounds like a meat place to me. And they went to this steak place as well, which had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember that sushi place we went to in Vegas? I always bring it back to this, Sips, but we went to this sushi place, really, really fancy with you, and they brought out this like mound of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mound of fish. It was a literal, it looked like a hog roast, only it was seafood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it comes with like a hot stone, and you have to like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it's like certain things like hot pot or whatever, and some people like their cr-carrots crunchy, other people like their carrots fucking mushy, whatever. I feel like that's fine. But, but, but, but steak?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, do you know what they could do? They could fucking go to a restaurant, you'll sit down, and you'll be like, I'll have the chips please, and they just bring you a fucking raw potato, chop it on the table, give you a potato peeler, and give you like a fucking little hot pot of boiling hot oil, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You asked, yeaah, you're selling an experience, and like you said, Pflax, it makes people, people do it because they think, this will motivate me when I get back home to cook for myself, you know? It makes people hungry and like, feel like, oh man, I could just, people, it's like people paying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the gym, like a massive subscription to force them to go. They're like, man, if I'm paying this much money, that will force me to go. And of course it doesn't. Right. Um, never works that sort of trying to trick yourself with that, those sort of things. Yeah. Like where- God, I hate the gym. Where does it go? So boring. Fuck me. I haven't been in years and years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I think people were different kinds of overweight back then though. All the women on those machines were, looked like perfectly normal women. That's the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, three times or four times a day. You know, I've, I've been 39 years of, well, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grimsbird. Grimsby. Uh, yeah, I, uh, I mean, look, just, I'm just saying, let's just, let's, if you're gonna do it, let's do it proper. Let's do it nice. Let's push the boat out. Let's not shoot past.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Oh, it's, it's been a busy week, but I'm full of Christmas cheer and festive joy and holiday energy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you have a low-key celebrity intending on doing it? I don't know, I don't think so. Did Henry Cavill do it once?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be scared to dig in a garden in London, because you'd hit, like, a water pipe or a fucking electricity cable or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you might just have to fucking move it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about you ask them if you can rent it from them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe they're gonna turf it, yea, and they don't wanna have some exact listing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The World Cup is in full swing, there's been a lot of upsets, I mean, this is, it always, we get, someone's got a TV on in the office. Right. And so, most of the time, it just, it's watched so little, that that TV has mostly had, like, catchphrase of Loose Women or whatever is on after. It's the one in the corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we moved it to the, uhm, to the, to the, we got two big TVs that normally show the streams and stuff, but the football has been on, and there's usually a couple of people stood around, uhm, discussing something else while watching it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the way that you're watching it now, are you not really giving it any attention? Just keep an eye on it, in case something-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the best. Oh, the mic sheds. I, I was, I was the same with, with lectures and, and I just, but I had a friend of mine that was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very, uh, compliant with sharing their very, very, uhm, anally written notes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was like, very much like, if I didn't come in, I'd be able to just copy the notes, and I'd... Honestly, I wasn't more of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But some of the highest level professors also have got there because they're very compelling lecturers, right? They're very compelling. Some people are just researchers and have to do their amount of lectures and really don't wanna get it done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think in, you have to try and find someone that you wanna listen to, because if you don't, you will not take anything in anyway. Why bother going to the lecture? Anyway, that's a little hot tip for you. It's a week before Jingle Jam, as we record this, and last night we... And all through the house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not something that happens very often, fundraisers who are doing their event don't tend to put on, like, um, you know, a dinner, or whatever, for the, or, or, it wasn't a dinner, but we had a meetup at the office, we had some drinks, and then we


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, booked out Kong's, which is the, a local bar. And, uh, we didn't sort of expect anyone to come down, but actually every charity sent someone. And I don't know what I was expecting, but obviously it turns out that people who work for charities are very nice people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think it weeds out all the cunts, doesn't it? You're not gonna last very long at a charity if you're not a lovely, lovely person. I feel like if you've dedicated your life to working for that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Treat their job like it's, you know, let's get away with doing the bare minimum, or they hate it because they're forced to do it or they have some awful manager or whatever. But I feel like if you're working for a charity, there's automatically this feeling that this money that they're paying me to work for them


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could be going directly to the sort of good causes, but instead it's playing stupid me. So I feel like they are almost like in the back of their mind, they're like, I better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I better do a good job, or I better put the effort in, or I better try and make this worthwhile, you know? I feel like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, in a sense. And uhm, everyone was so nice and so positive that actually, like, it kind of infused us with a bit of good energy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got actual charity work in it. Oh, on the street. Well, the thing is, I was talking to them about these, the people on the street, and Ben actually used to do it, so he knows what it's like. Edgar, Ben? Ben Edgar, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it has happened to me once as well, when I was younger. When I was living with my parents, I was very lonely, some chugger knocks on the door, and looks all bedraggled and sad and wet, and I was like, oh god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before I knew it, I had a subscription to whatever, I think I'm probably even still signed up actually, and that was about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 15 years ago, so. But it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen since I'm in an apartment. I guess because you've got an ordinary house in an ordinary neighbourhood, people still do door to door stuff. Is that something you- do people randomly knock on your door? Like, I was saying the other day, I don't think I've met-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had a lovely time at Kong's. It's very loud in there, but we still had a good time, and I tried to speak to everyone from the charity. Was it an open bar? Uh, well, I think we were buying, but I don't know if it was open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, they were a bit later. It was more, uhm, it was more like, I guess...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, in The Jiggle Jam, am coming at this from a different angle, I guess, of slight anxiety, slight fear, everything's gonna fall apart or go wrong, slight worry that I've forgotten to organise something, or I've upset people, y'know, a lot of people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When there's 91 games in the Jingle... Jingle Down will be happening now, by the way, if this podcast goes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During December, which I think it will do in the first week. Um, so Jingle Jam is live, please support jinglejam.tiltify.com. Please. I'm begging you. So, and you guys coming down, you guys do stuff, you guys are involved, but it's a big, I'm kind of cresting, I think, the organisational


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Surface now. I've been under the water for a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm just breathing air again, and I'm not aware that I'm breathing air, I think I'm like still, I'm still gagging for air. But actually it was quite relaxing to talk to everyone, because they were almost like, oh you know, sounds like everything's sorted, and I was like, oh actually maybe it is, and I was able to relax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, um, it was had a really nice time and they, they, there's lots of interesting stories from all the charities and lots of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really good causes, and they're so excited to be involved, because I feel like they got to meet all the other folks that were in. It's not like they're competing, and even if they were, I don't think they're the kind of people who think that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I dunno, it was just a really nice time, but I'm a bit hungover today. But it was nice to see what my tolerance is, and it turns out it's about two pints.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I think that's generally how, that's the best way to experience Jam. Indeed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, PFLAX, every day, in the office, we need to do something. Like today, we need to go and buy some fucking Christmas jumpers. Well I'm not up for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I suppose you're also gonna get increasingly belligerent as the drink goes in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're wrong. You're great company. We wouldn't have done this podcast for six years if you weren't good company, people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think me and Sips have been chugging them down before the podcast to get through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, just on the high of life and probably like petrol fumes or whatever is leaking into the garage from the generator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, how is, how is the, the diaper situation generally?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, I found it. It's all caps, all caps, baby, born...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's also a My First Swim girl, but I guess she's not interested in the girl one. She wants the boy! She likes the blue. Baby, there's those, um, baby-born magic unicorn girl, and... Yes. And magic boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I had been abducted by, sucked up into an alien spaceship, I blinked my eyes. Abducted, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, for example, like, instead of saying, pass muster, people say pass mustard. It's like, that doesn't pass the mustard. You know. Pass the mustard, yeah. Cause it sounds right. It does, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, yeah, there's tons and tons of them. Yeah. Biting my time instead of biting my time. Best thing since life's bread.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think so, but I think it's also just people mis-hearing stuff. Like, there's always this in your life, or other people, I remember the classic one that one of my friends always thought was ham bag, instead of handbag. Because they thought it was round, like a slice of ham. I didn't even put any thought into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might be right, you might be on to something with regards to doing speeches, or, y'know, cause there weren't any microphones or anything like this, and when someone had to speak in parliament or speak to a group of people, they didn't want people to mishear them. And so they had to have this very clipped way of speaking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely, definitely, it must be the same in other countries as well. I find it fascinating that, you know, if you're a native speaker, you can hear the differences between South and North in your country. And of course it's so exaggerated, in the UK, so exaggerated, the differences. Like even, like, um, cause I was telling you, did I tell you this, I was playing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Modern Warfare 2. And I had, um, cause a lot of people don't realise they've got open mic on their PS5 controller over the phone. And so it's constant


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never heard so many people talking in that in the game, but it's so funny because you've got this like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It crashes. It crashes all the time. And for everyone. And it's frustrating. And it's full of bugs. Like, this one... Like, just leaving fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, and uh, so it's, it's, well I'll show you at pflex, it's uhm, play one night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a common bug with Steam. You might have to restart Steam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a few sweaty hot dog juice drinkers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's actually, but it's also a, uh, it's a, it's an everyman's game. It's a, it's a, it's, it's kind of, um, a well known triple A game that's played by ordinary men, ordinary folk. Ordinary football watching, tea drinking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The controller aim assist is pretty exaggerated. Now fair enough, you do need help on that. But actually, like, okay, a couple of things about it that are interesting. One is, you see very strong...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, lens glints when someone's got a sniper scope on you. So if they're looking at you, you know they're looking at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what is it called? HAPPY LENSGLINTS EVERYBODY!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm buying your daughter a glint stole for Christmas. Thanks. I love that word! Well, I didn't know how to express it, but it's funny because the thing about it is, in the DMZ and the Battle Royale mode, you have armour plates, and they're pretty tough. Like, you could take a hit from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if you're down-downed, but if you die in the Battle Royale mode, you do the second chance 2v2 in the Gulag, and then if you die there, your mates can still buy you back at a buy station, so it's kinda like, there's so many ways you can actually like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It surprised me with the few hours I managed to play it between crashes. When you crash and lose everything in the DMZ Tarkov mode, you will...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's super light, I went in with Kirsty, cause she was like, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because Kirstie's one of these strange people on our Discord who is mostly a watcher. She'll be delighted to hear that, yeah. She doesn't necessarily, like, want to get involved, but she loves, like, seeing what we're doing, like, Dota, even like Dota or anything. A gaming voyeur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we went, cause she was like, um, she was really scared of playing DMZ with us, right? And so me and Monk went on a run with her, and I was just dying, and she was like saving me and killing guys, and like, I was getting knocked out, and she was just like this hero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the circle is retreating into, it's inevitable that we'll have to play in the same group at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I, I, Modern Warfare 2, honestly, uhm, there's something about it, like, the, the, the talk of light, it's, it's, it's, it's chill, and uhm, yeaah, until it crashes. Extremely frustrating at times as well, I'll say. Especially because of the voice chat, my god it's so funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a game mode with zero second respawn, right? And so it's for these people who need action. I guess it's a good way to quickly train yourself with a gun, and get used to a gun, because there's people to shoot all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, it's a weird recommendation from both of us this week. I haven't been playing particularly much else other than games in the jingle jam. I've been playing a lot of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this is an eternal problem in game design. Like, the fact that you can netdeck, or you can just... A lot of people don't want to have to come up with their own list, and so copy someone else's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes, uh, come down to luck, you know, or they become very overwhelmingly complex too quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and so, it's a very fine line to walk, and some people want complexity, and some people want simplicity, and so, you... I like the simplicity, but also...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please don't look at my puffy hands. Avoid looking at them. Obviously a frightful year. Mommy died. Which is very bad, very sad. Thank you to everyone that stood in the queue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a young man on there, he said to another young man, I have a tiny penis. Uh, if this is what the country's come to, really it's awful. I was shocked. Have a good Christmas. Please, don't talk to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People only come to my door if they have something to give me, like a present, like a letter or package or... No one should be coming to my door unless they have- unless they're dropping off something for me. Maybe a child, I dunno, like whatever is in your case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they maybe just looked at it and were like, look, look, is this not giving us the return anymore? Yea. They just looked at the numbers and were like, it's just better to just go to Africa or somewhere. I think you're giving it far too much thought, really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my mind, though, I thought you were actually opening in real letters, so when you said emails, it kind of pulled me out of the... Oh, I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so by the way, I owe my cleaner an apology, because for a long time, I've been living in this flat like 3-4 years now, and for a long time, the washing machine's been a bit fucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Right. I got the plumb around finally yesterday, so look at it. And turns out, ever since I've lived there, the hot water has been plumbed into the cold water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She does one, she puts a load on when I'm, when she's, when she's, cause yeah, she puts one load on. Cause I leave it like half full. How often do you get a cleaner one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she just does whatever like Hoover or whatever's needed. She's great. Love her. I love her to bits. So sorry. But it's fine. It's, it's, it should be fine now, hopefully. I don't know whether it's fucked the washing machine though from years of hot water going through the wrong bits, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that is what's happening. But I also think what's happening is it was like, cause the hot water pressure is not as high, so it wasn't like getting enough, but also it was like, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was like stopping cycles early, cos it, I dunno why, like maybe it couldn't, maybe it was like, it wouldn't do a rinse cycle or whatever. Right. Cos it couldn't, I dunno, it was like, oh this, I've gotta wait for this to cool down, and it's like never cooling down. Yeah, that could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uhm, I'm excited, I've started to have like, nice, fresh clothes again, and I'm like, oh, finally. So I've gone through and like, washed everything in my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which countries do you think are the most densely populated in the world?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brunei? I think Brunei's quite big. 137, it's massive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Haiti? Okay, you're going abroad here. Uh, Haiti is again...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Decently put, 30 second. 30 second, right. It's better than Belgium, but less than India. The Isle of Man!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Isle of Man. No, that's not, that's not all that densely populated. It's 86th. Less populated than Jersey and Guernsey. It's actually some of these little city states. Gibraltar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gibraltar is 5th, Singapore is 3rd, you're getting it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Macau's really small, but it's got a lot of people in it. Um, in Hong Kong, Singapore, yeah. But because Jersey was so high up the list, I was like, you know, I feel like I've walked around Jersey and there's a lot of farmland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you buy tickets through Ticketmaster or some scam site? No, I think we just bought them through a scam site.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ticketmaster, isn't Ticketmaster just a whole scammy scalping thing where they, I watched a whole thing where basically you can, basically Ticketmaster work with resellers to like, just sell the tickets on their own site for up, up prices. They don't give a shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that's gonna be out of your comfort zone sips, going to Wembley Stadium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever hear, like, football from your locals? Because Twickenham rugby ground is near you. Do you hear it? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh I suppose, you can ask around. Yeah, yeah. Um, they, everyone knows you, everyone knows each other. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, a lot of the drugs we have these days have been around for a very long time. This is, I've googled it, it's Rogaine, it's developed in the late 1950s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is because a lot of these drugs, um, are developed for common things, like usually heart stuff, or in high blood pressure, things like this, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what minoxidil was originally used for, it was originally used to treat high blood pressure, right? And so, what happened, and that happened with Viagra, and it happens to all these things, like a lot of these things are just, they fuck with your brain chemistry, because they're biological chemicals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got, oh my god, he got gangrene in it. On examining him, brace yourself everyone, the doctor said his penis was swollen, as expected, uh, however it was also black, uh, ulcerated, and oozing a foul smelling discharge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh. His clinical condition slowly improved, so he refused any surgery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the problem is, this is like one of those decadent rich people problems, do you know what I mean? It's like, these people who are, who are so crazy about, like, living wild, that wild life, you know, of cocaine and drugs and sex and all this, it's not us, guys, we're playing World


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate the idea that opinions are given equal weight to facts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a seesaw there. Just be nice. Be nice to people, alright?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This does rhyme, like Santa's sleigh, that rhymes. Yeah. Right? Buble is here to sleigh. Buble is here to sleigh. That would be a very different kind of band though, wouldn't it? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before we carry on, have you been naughty or nice this year? Well, just like Santa knows, your ISP also knows what you've been searching


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And other not, not very nice people. So give yourself the gift of privacy this Christmas with ExpressVPN. You can get three months free. ExpressVPN.com slash Triforce. The app works on all your devices, phone, tablet, laptop, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's super easy to use and super fast. I don't even know it's on and it gives me peace of mind and lets me get around those annoying content blocks that stop me from watching the television shows on Netflix in America that I want to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can get 3 months free, expressvpn.com slash triforce, e-x-p-r-e-double-s-vpn.com slash triforce. Take yourself off the naughty list and sign up today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Means hit. Yea. I think it's just a, isn't that French football player? Frappe Mephiss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An Orangerie sounds so fucking amazing. I'm looking at the Orangerie Wikipedia article and it's all like, there's like little, they're like little castles built in beautiful landscapes in like Prussia and Belgium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's do some fucking, uh, letters or else we don't have any put through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mini-chedders are great, especially the red Leicester flavour, apparently. Although I haven't had one in years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Patfilms did a thing where they went through all the best UK crisps, and it was like, it's kind of strange because at some point in my life I have eaten every single one of these. And I kind of, you can kind of recall... The Real McCoys. Yeah, it was really interesting watching them, in a way, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how sometimes you watch these YouTube things where people try things that you've never tried, right? Like, it's all these Korean chocolates and they're like trying to describe them or whatever. Oh yeah. Oh, these are some sweets from Australia. And you're like, okay. And then, but doing the British one, me knowing exactly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What everything tasted like was kind of interesting. I used to love a Time Out wafer, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this thing on Netflix, which feels like an advert, but I know it's not. It's about the, in the 90s, there was this, uh, Pepsi, Pepsi Points thing, where you could, you know, collect Pepsi wrappers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And get like, get like a sunglasses and a leather jacket or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got some HUGE stars to do stuff for them. Obviously Pepsi had, like, Michael Jackson sing. They had the Right Now song, um, Ben Halen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Citation needed. Uh, but yeah, the documentary was about how in the advert, they said, you know, if you collect seven million points, you'll get a harrier jump jet. And that was like the whole sting of the advert, right? But there's this kid who...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Found out a way to get that many points and then tried to claim a Harrier Jump Jet from Pepsi. From Pepsi. So it's a story of all these people. It's quite good. It's very 90s, it's very kind of interesting. It reminds me of that McDonald's one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is an interesting one. It's like where marketing collides with, like, gamers basically. People try to game the system or exploit the system and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get one over on these people. But ending up getting more publicity out of it as a result, not on purpose, you know, I don't think they were looking for a lawsuit, but uhm, it does make the news at some point. It's just such an interesting


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, they're li- there's little, they're little like Swiss, they're little mini rolls. For, you know, this is the, this is the thing, right? Like, it is about laziness. You don't want a, a Colin, right? It's difficult, you have to cut it up. You need a knife. This is, this is not bite sized. These are mini bite sized ones. These are ready cut up ones. They're much more middle class. They're good, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It depends on like, how much cake there's to see. I think Colin McAllister for Caterpillar is middle class cocaine, isn't it? They're not injecting cocaine into their dicks, they're fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From Priapism, which we mentioned earlier. And he basically, the reason they had these statues of guys with big dicks, was to scare away birds. That is apparently...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just trying to think how much hair my grandpa had, my grandad. I don't think it was very fucking much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's always an exception to the rule, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is the thing that happened recently on Great British Bake Off. They had a Mexican theme, right? The American audience went mental. They lost their mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Worcester sauce. This is what happened. It's just totally different. So, Great British Bake Off did a thing with peanut butter and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fruit, right? Right. And apparently, the quote is, one viewer wrote,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently, Sayabira just introduced the British to peanut butter and jelly. And the thing is, it's a huge thing in America, and it's not a thing in Britain. Peanut butter and jam, peanut butter and anything. And that, you're right about the cultural taste profile thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We definitely don't see eye to eye though, on like, some stuff, across the channel. Across the pond. Like, I think that us, I think a lot of Americans do watch Great British Makeup, it's really a global show, a lot of people watch it from, and I think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're often surprised by the things we do and don't know. And it is... there are certain things...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it ended, I think the episode ended with them conceding that, that it does work and the combo is, is, uh, um, what's it, complementary. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that this is like a common issue really in the world, it's that you don't realise, like we get so much American information about the elections and the Supreme Court and all this stupid shit, we hear about it all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't watch, like, any of- we don't know any references to any of the sport, or any of the late night stuff, or any of the- any of those TV shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever I think about this, I think about that, that, that thing where you've just heard of something and then you seem to see it everywhere. Yeah, right. Whatever it's called. Uhm, because, you know, so often, if you don't get a joke,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're onto the next one already, or if you don't understand the reference, you don't remember that. You're not like, oh, I better look up who, you know, Prue is or whatever. Do you know what I mean? You don't have to like, you don't have to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, that was part of the culture. It became- I used to have peanut butter and jam sandwiches in my lunch when I was a kid all the damn time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks so much. Hope everyone is listening. Hope everything is going amazing. Oh yeaah. Where you are. Hope, hope, uh, all of your cupboards are filled, uh, with, with food. And, uh, your wardrobes are filled with, with clothes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, I mean, for the most part, yes. Okay. Unconventional, uh, wishes, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was walking down the park street with my parents the other day, okay, weekend, it was obviously cold, very frosty, and I'm walking side by side with my mother, and uhm, and we're having, just chatting about stuff, you know, and she, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's, she must be coming up to 70, I'm not, I shouldn't really be saying that, but she's, she's, she's getting on, right? Uhm, but she's quite, she's quite fit, she's quite fine, it's fine. She's, she's, she's full of it, she's full of it. Is she, is she butch? No, no, but here's the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit, yeaah, yeaah. So, we're walking down pastry, and uhm, there's like this massive, one of those metal, like, uhm, patches, you know, in the pavement, right, which obviously-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Manhole, but like, it's a big rectangular one. Anyway, my mum-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, I'm like, oh god, are you okay? But, because, what, but she actually fell, like, kind of, with one leg under her, so like, one leg went out, but one leg went down, so she sort of half fell onto her leg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, like kinda like, yeah, not like, not like uhm, it wasn't like directly back, she didn't fall backwards, she sort of felt like directly down. Right. And then like, kinda caught herself under her other leg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uh, she was like, like flat on the floor, and cause she just like, from my point of view, just gone zhoomp until it disappeared. I turned around and I was like, oh, are you okay? Are you okay? So I was sort of just checking that she wasn't like hurt, like I hadn't broken her ankle or like, wasn't actually like, cause she was obviously dazed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And two people behind us. Okay, we're walking down. Were they just filming it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they didn't skip a beat, right? They, I don't even know who it was, they just grabbed my mother, one on each shoulder, and pulled her to her feet, and just plonked her back down on her feet, okay? And then they walked straight on, and it was so quick that it happened, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good, that was really nice. So my mom was fine, by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She does yoga, my mom. She's been a yoga teacher for a long time, so like, falling. Uh, so she's, she's probably familiar with those moves. I think she honestly, if I'd fallen, I think I probably would have been more injured than she was. From falling over on the ground, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you kicked your legs out and we're like, oh fuck. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see that exact shit happening as well to me. Like I went ice skating occasionally and I think if I went now I would just be so scared. I'd be like one of those people you see like leaned over, like with your hands, like, shudder, like, touch the ice, you know, like crouched over like a gorilla.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so that's technically, I suppose technically that's her first, but even though, it's like babbling that you can make out and believe that it's something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called that. Uhm. Maybe, yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah. I think that's because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ExpressVPN. Uh, alright everyone, please support that. ExpressVPN.com slash Triforce. On with the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is astonishing. So you can look around. So the idea is it's supposed to be for if you're like reading off a script on the other monitor or you're like, uhm, you know, it's basically to try and like keep your eyes


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well actually those things are fascinating. We had one on the shoot recently. What they have is they actually have the camera lens. Uhm, it's like, it's like one of those trick Disney mirror things where the mirror, the words are in front of the camera lens, but the camera can't see them, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the camera is shooting through a screen where the words are. That's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, so that way you are directly looking and your eyes should only go to the left and right of the camera lens rather than like above or below or to the left or to the right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's obviously really clever, but, but yea, like deep faking is the, the next solution, uh, the next best solution to that. If you're a, a Vtuber and you want, or a YouTuber and you want to make an apology video. If you're a Vtuber, you don't even need it, cause obviously your eyes are just deep faked already, right? But, uhm, if you like it, if you like it, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think for now people would be able to see it, and I guess it's for professional use, but I thought that was interesting news. Michael Bay in- Oh I heard about this. Is facing charges in Italy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if it was, as the story goes, it wasn't, it was like one of the, it was just an onset accident, I assume. But apparently he's saying that it was just a paparazzi photo that was on the ground, it died, unrelated cause. But because homing pigeons are protected, there's like, there's like a warrant out for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a prank YouTuber. And obviously his phone had like, it was like a really shitty ringtone of like, sex sounds. But like, kinda hard to make out honestly. It was like, uh, uh, it's all sounded, it was like, it was like, it was kinda bad, right? No sex sounds either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus, sorry, I got distracted. But no, Gary Lineker handled it like a pro, and was like, oh, someone's playing some weird sounds, I don't know if you can hear that, must be some sort of joker. And I don't know, he just, he was like, really, he really handled it well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He put out like a tweet afterwards that was like, you know, this is what hap- we found this thing sellotape to the back of the set kind of thing. It was quite, quite funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People who are watching that are a certain, a certain population. Anyway, uh, the other thing on this news thing is, so apparently this is the thing that happens if you have like these leaf piles, right, like big leaf piles that decompose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the deer in the local area have learned that if they dig into the leaf pile, they can take a huge breath of nitrous oxide and get fucked up on it. And there's videos of them


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got my, my calling. I missed it. But yea, I wonder what that was. I thought it was, cause it was right at the top at the back of the bus, right? It looked like where the kids would be sitting. Do you know what I mean? So, I, I, there's no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that's not what's on fire, it's like above the engine, like, it's, it's like the windows, but that's where the kids like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, good. You solved that one. So they're being, they're being, I'm assuming they're looking for some...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like, I love, that's stuff that kids do where they, they need you to reply as well. It's like, uh, immediately. They almost like make it as easy as possible, like stabs just envelope. I think they still do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's kind of a comedy, it's like a kind of comedy music, isn't it, I suppose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's certain instruments that are not like, ever gonna be cool. Like the harmonica.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, well maybe I'm, maybe I'm picking it wrong, but I just, that sort of clowny like, with a, with a hole under your armpit, and you know, the symbol between your knees, or like a rubber chicken like, you know, on your butt cheeks, and so you could squeeze like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like every different part of your body and make like a, you're like a honking, smashing mess going down the street.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I, I, it's just too comedy, it's too clowny, like, so these instruments, like, you wouldn't see, like, Drake playing, uh, the, you know, the kazoo or the accordion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This week is them getting up in people's faces about basically trying, so the, the, the Twister Coast is owned by Hasbro, which is a massive megacorp, and they want to monetize people with a monthly subscription through, you know, their systems, and they, they want people, they want to hook people in and charge people ever increasing amount of money for,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically nothing, and you know, and it's kind of, I think it's gotten over to, got to a boiling point where they've been trying to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read the book relatively recently and so it was interesting to see how that was changed. Very different, very different actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Partly because the book is written by a soldier who was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, apparently this is exactly what the problem was with the s- the s- we might talk about this before, but with the s- the follow-up season to Band of Brothers, uhm. The Pacific. The Pacific, yeaah. That was too- and I think a lot of people had that same criticism that it was just too miserable. Yeaah. They- they forgot that- and I think a lot of people forget


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think maybe this, maybe in fact, I don't know if this is even true, but Band of Brothers, I think, does have lighter moments with them, you know, doing something that isn't just s-s-s-slocking in mud and bleeding to death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely a hard topic, and I see, I think you're right, the war has, has, there's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it feels somewhat irreverent, um, or disrespectful to make comedy about it, but we obviously did the dad's army video on ball action. You know, we, the people are comparing that to like, so people saying it feels more like mash, you know, it feels more like, I mean mash with the cream or, but it's, it's, it's kind of these, there's not many comedies that have tried to tackle


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're absolutely right by the way about this, P-Flex. Like how, like for us, 9-11 was a huge event, right? Whereas to a lot of kids, or even like, you know, 30 year olds, they have no, that was in the distant past to them. That was a different, different time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, you go, you go Seps. Sorry I interrupted. No, no, it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about like the age range as well, because there's like, you know, uhm, if you look at all the wars, like ancient wars before 500 AD, you've got medieval wars, 500 AD. Well yea, I've got a list, I've got a full list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Trojan War. Is it actually called, uh, like, the Trojan War, or does it come under, like, another larger war?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just the Roman Empire, like you got the Punic Wars, uh, you got the Gothic War, you got Probus's German War, like it's just that you got the Samnite Wars, another Gothic War, the Hunic Reclaims, like man, it's just the Romans going nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, we're talking about, like, cider presses, like, with, uh, you know, mule powered, you know, like nothing. Barely even a wheel, right? Right, but what weapons do they have?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't have much else to do back then. They just, I mean, they turned up into, in a field, they all lined up with their sticks and they just wailed away on each other until something else happened, I guess. Like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just going around Hastings. They had a water park there at the time and uh, fucking shit just hit the fan big time. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The story of that. Yeah, but what about the Reconquista, or like, uh, the Crusades? You know, we're in the- we're coming up to the right date range for the Crusades, the Mongol conquests.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Originally it was the Byzantine Empire versus the Seljuq Empire, uh, but then of course, uh, obviously evolved into Christians versus Muslims. So, uh, you know, the rest is history. I rest my case. Subjection, your honor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the Crusades was lots of, lots of wars in one big, big sort of container war, right? A bit like, a bit like World War II was, uhm, you know, it was just like, there were just a ton of wars, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Related to overall, like the main conflict, but the crusades was kind of the same in that sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, it's kind of wild that it went on for like 200 years or so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you pass the court, John? People only lived till they were like 25 back then, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it, you gotta wait for the next generation to, you know, you gotta train them. You gotta, uh, you gotta get them ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta build some factories and you gotta get your, um, you gotta get your, your, your AA guns built and your railroads and everything. And then boom, you're ready to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, how the tables have turned. I know. Geez. I wonder what it could be. It's gonna be, you know what, he's gonna come back and it's gonna be something way more exciting than any of your doorbell rings on previous podcasts. Guaranteed. It'll be like, whoa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yes, it was just the professor of botanical science at the Royal Bristol Institute just dropping some CDs off for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You also have the conquests of Timur happening at the same time. The Timurid Empire versus several Middle Eastern states. I don't know if you remember that one. Uhm, it's like roughly the same. It was a shorter war, but happened like around the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the Mongol conquests happened, uh, much earlier actually. Oh, okay. So this is maybe, this is post the Mongol conquests. Mongol conquests were apparently 1206 to 1368.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was that bullshit wave of uh, unkillable units coming from the east at the end of Crusader Kings that everybody disliked. Right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, let's move on to like the Spanish Conquest of the Aztec Empire, the Spanish Conquest of Yucatan as well. Those are pretty good ones. The German Peasants War. Wait, what was the German?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was the German Peasants versus the Swabian League, which happened in Germany. It was also known as the Great Peasants War. It happened between 1524 and 1525, a very short war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but they still go down in history as, you know, they turned up, they tried.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Ottoman Empire versus several Balkan African and Arabian states. This went from 1521 to 1566 and claimed more than 200,000 people's lives. Uh, yeaah. I don't know much about Suleiman the Magnificent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a big deal back in the day, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really annoying to deal with in Europa Universalis as well. Yeaah. Depending where you start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eighty Years War is the Dutch War of Independence. Okay. There's the French Wars of Religion as well, Protestants vs. France vs. Catholics, also known as the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about the Anglo-Spanish wars gotta be on there, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trans versus Jersey for the, um, the fishing rights, you know? They had an armada turn up here as well. Disgusting. Disgraceful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have, uh, we have, uh, further east, we have the Japanese invasions of Korea, which happened in 1592 to 1598. Uhm, I don't know if that's worth adding to the list, seems like a big one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, another uhm, one further east, the transition from Ming to Qing, uh, in China. It seemed like a really big one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, 25 million plus people died in that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It went on for a long time, 1616 to 1683.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we got, uh, the 30 years war, pro Habsburg states versus anti Habsburg states, Franco-Spanish war, and then the English Civil War leading up to, uhm. Well that's a big one. Yea, English Civil War is a huge one actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a bit, yeah, it wasn't, the war itself wasn't huge, but the impact of that war was huge, right? Yeah, of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So listen, just before we skip too far ahead, between the, uh, the war of independence and the American Civil War, you've got some notables as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've missed it. Alright, so in between that, we missed, uh, the Napoleonic Wars, big coalition powers versus the French empire and allies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Napoleonic wars is where a lot of people draw the similarities to Hitler's big blunder of invading Russia when he already had an open front in the west.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, one of my friends from Canada that I grew up with is obsessed with that fucking movie. It's so good! It is good, I know, but like, it's, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably, I'd say after the Napoleonic Wars, like, uh, in terms of stuff that we would be familiar with or have heard of or whatever, I'd say probably the Crimean War.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Crimean war I think is when wars started featuring rifles a lot more, sort of thing. It was like the first wide use of rifles in a war. According to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leading up to the American Civil War, which we already talked about, but right before you got the Indian Rebellion of 1857 against the British East India Company, which is a fairly big one, but maybe not that important in the grand scheme of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we've got the, we've got all the Prussian wars, right? The, uh, the Austrian states versus German states, the Austro-Prussian war, the 10 years war in between that with Spain and Cuba, which I don't know, it's also known as the Great War. Spain versus Cuba, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the, but then the big one is the Franco-Prussian War, right? Which was, uh, which was a big, uh, a big precursor to World War I, right? Some of the- Were we not in this? We weren't in this. France versus Germany. It was the Franco-Prussian War.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think some of the alliances and stuff, uhm, that were, or some of the long-standing agreements and alliances in the Franco-Prussian war were, uh, things that, uh, that caused World War I to happen in the end. Even though there was quite a big amount of time in between them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, Korean War then, yea, South Korea and allies versus North Korea and allies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1950 to 1953. Of course, if you've seen MASH before, MASH takes place during the Korean War, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say the cold war is maybe like how we would have described like, uh, like the, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The crusades or something, you know what I mean? Like it's like, like a lot of stuff happened, but like the cold war itself wasn't sort of a war, you know what I mean? It was more like a container for lots of conflicts that were somewhat related to what was happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the Cold War overall is the ideology, right? Kind of like the idea of Christianity back in the Crusades, but with the Cold War it was very much like the West against the spread of Communism, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me it's the German peasants war in that one. I don't know, it's just something about it, just a little bit more interesting for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As interesting as, uh, colonialism was and all of the, uh, the wars, uh, that, uh, that resulted off the back of that or whatever, I think the American Civil War is, well, super familiar for me as well. Like we've learned about it a lot at school and stuff and, um, yeah, I'm just- I think so. I think that goes straight for me as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where's eating a peanut bar? The sexual sounds of the rain falling above me in Bristol, and sips, noming away at a fruit and nut bar probably, or Nutri- Nutri- grain, some- some breakfast bar. It's a peanut bar. Just peanuts. Oh, wonderful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, last night I went to the pub, and the, the heavens opened, and we all got absolutely soaked. We were all sat outside, and I looked up at them down at the table, and it was like me, Lydia, Ravs, like a bunch of others, and uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, none of us smoke, why are we outside? Because of course, we follow the lead of Harry and Tom, you know, the trendsetters in the orgs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're the cool guys, so we'll sit outside, and of course they were not there. We had one umbrella that barely covered, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drenched about half past ten, but I don't know if it was nice. It wasn't cold rain, it was kind of just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't heavy enough to refill our pints.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taskmaster ripoff, uhm, I don't know if you've seen it, pflex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Simpsons like this though, he's a contrarian, like he won't, uhm, anything that's hyped or anyone's talked about, he will put off it, he'll be like, uh, I can't be all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll leave the hype. Anything that's hyped at all, Sips is like, I'm not into it, no. He likes the underground good stuff. I know. Yes. Oh yeah. Or you like discovering your own things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The hype is the reason for its downfall, right? In many ways, like a lot of times people are like, oh this didn't live up to the hype, and therefore, I'm gonna give it a negative review.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He and his colleagues and everyone has suddenly did a big turnaround on the old energy crisis, right, because it costs a lot more for them to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pay for everything at the office. Like, one of the main- I read this article on the money supermarket and it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go into the office more. You know, do your washing in the office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, cook me lunch in the office, cook me dinner in the office. Like, literally. Yeah, yeah, use all their energy, yeah. And so, now what's happening is, all these people are like, oh actually, well, do you know what, maybe if you stay at home, uhm, well, you wouldn't cost us so much, you're cheaper, right? And so, everyone is suddenly doing a 180 on this idea that we have to fucking be in the office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Delboy, IRL Delboy, with just like, just somehow managed to integrate himself in, because he offered it the cheapest, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's partly how he's got to where he is though, by treating people like shit, you know, I think that that is his whole thing, he has no- these people have no qualms to produce shitty products and treat people shittily and make money doing it, you know? I think if you are an absolute fucking scumbag-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do a good job with this at all. Like, I don't know. My opinion is always the same as yours. It's like, if you're working for someone, you should get away with doing the absolute bare minimum you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We obviously have people with fairly, like, simple tasks, I guess, mostly, like, you know, they feel like they know what their goals are quite clearly, I think it's very hard when you're in a job and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone tells you, oh, just, just, uh, just do some, do something. You know, and you're like, well, what? Like, I'll just, uh, file those, file those pieces of paper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, okay, I've done that, now what? And they're like, oh, uhm, just, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm feeling like, I think you are part of a group or a team, and are rewarded for doing so. Like, I don't know if you guys know this, but obviously we do like a profit share with Yogs. So like, 10% of our yearly profits, or if in last year it was like 20%, goes to staff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that, and then there obviously also has to be, to some extent, like a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An independence factor where people know what they're doing without a manager.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like the idea of managers. I think managers should be assistants to people who are doing the job to help them get their job done rather than


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Working at home in his pants, I assume. Uhm, and. Sure. And he, we've had no problems with anyone working where they want at Yogs, and it's been really great. I think like, for example, one of my friends, Dan,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he works for the government, uh, defence. He works for the government in some sort of defence role. And he has to sit for these long meetings. And he's a really, really smart guy. And he's been doing it from home. And he's been doing great lately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has he done a lot of good defense? Well, well, I don't really know what he does because he's very vague about it. So he's either a spy, or he's uhm, or he's just did a really boring office job. Anyway, he's a super smart guy, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He finds it so hard to pay attention in these long meetings, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what he's been doing lately is uhm, well for the last couple of years actually since lockdown, is he's been painting Warhammer models in the meetings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I often find that when I do that, like it shuts off, cause I'm always like listening to a podcast or something when I'm painting models, he finds that it actually really helps him concentrate in meetings, um, when he's painting


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Warhammer though, painting Warhammer is an example of something which, uhm, I'm sure I've talked about it before, but it's like this thing where you can, I used to do it in front of the telly, and then I'd look up on like season 3 or whatever and I'd be like, oh my god, that's what that guy looks like, and I obviously had never


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually looked up the three seasons or something. But I'd followed the story like perfectly without being able to see it. Like a blind person watching the telly or something. I dunno, it was very, I guess cause a lot of TV is so basic, right? And so formulaic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, how about, is it, is it, is it about actual art? I, you know, art galleries and Leonardo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think in that case, like, let's- that's two things you've just suggested tips there. One is favorite, like, bit. Let's know your favorite stand-up bit. Um, cause that way we can leech off their humor and enjoy it. And also...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course Jerry Seinfeld's doing that, and no one calls him on it. Let us know your favourite, um, vacation spot for sips to go on holiday. What are your suggestions?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dreaming about waking up, cause that's a thing that you can very much do, is uh, in your, you know, dreaming about things you're excited about doing the next day. And then you wake up and you're like, oh shit, I've still gotta do em. All the opposite, yeah. Oh, that's a great, that's great. It was funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you have a- so yeah, the other thing you texted us about was, you got the ferry over, for some obscure fucking reason, with a baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess you are right, like, like, you don't know, normally it doesn't happen often enough for YouTube to think about it, right, but then occasionally someone will bump into me and say oh hi, and then I'll be like a little bit anxious for a couple of hours because I might be-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. We owed it though, P-Flex, you know. I know. It's been a dry summer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of people get struck by lightning golfing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think so, I think it's more the fact that it's very very flat, there's no trees, and so you are the highest point, even though you're just a little bit above the surface. Do you see what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, honey is a digital tool, it's free, shop, it's free, you can just do it on your browser, uh, imagine you're shopping at one of your favourite sites.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, when you, when you check out, the honey button appears and all you have to do is click apply coupons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, honey will automatically search for discounts, and if it finds a working coupon, you will save money. I notice it every week, for real. I reckon I must have saved, like, at least 150 quid using honey over the course of the last few months, so it definitely, definitely does work. Uhm, I recommend it. Uh, if you don't already have honey, you could straight up be missing out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting the show by getting Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash triforce. Join Honey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when you use the bathroom, you always close the door behind you, right? Of course I do. You know what random passes by looking in on you? Well. So why would you let people watch you when you're online?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, instead, if you press the button, it will put a little frosting filter on. And, uh, that's what ExpressVPN is like. You can still put it in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, no one will be able to see what you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, if you like being believed that your online activity should stay private, be your business, uh, you can secure yourself now with expressvpn.com slash triforce today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's our exclusive link, expressvpn.com slash triforce. You get an extra three months free. You should definitely be using a VPN, uh, for all of your online browsing needs. You can change your country. You can do all sorts of stuff. It works with my phone and my iPad. I use it when I'm in hotels and stuff. I recommend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yes, happy to have ExpressVPN as a sponsor. Thank you for coming back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, obviously you guys like it as well. So yes, expressvpn.com slash triforce. Thank you, on with the show!