[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw this thing, I think it depends on how far north you're willing to go, cause I saw this thing, uhm, kinda recently, and this happened recently, where there was like this tagged...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wolf or whatever it was anyway, yeaah. Used to cold climates and stuff. So they put this thing on, and there's no movement, like, so, they're trying to see, you know, is it a seasonal thing? Like, what the, you know, what's he up to? Like, where is he gonna go? What's he gonna do? Sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then uhm, all of a sudden this thing starts moving and he's like, he's, he's covering miles and miles and miles a day. Like he's just nonstop moving and they're like, what the fuck is going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and he went all the way from Sweden and he made it, like, all the way to Western Canada in, like, a record amount of time. Like, he was, like, in, like, Northwestern Canada, like, and all by foot, presumably, because I don't think they can swim or, you know, that, that much or whatever, but he made it all the way over there, just, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, but it, uh, it blows my mind that like that is a thing that they can do. Yeah. Like that it's possible for them all on foot to do that. Like I didn't even think that that was possible. Like, I mean, humans could probably do it at a push, you know, with the right gear and stuff like that, but it's pretty amazing, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a slow, um, evolution of adaptation though, isn't it? Like, over the spanning thousands of years, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but the only difference is that we're not as tough. No, but we don't have to be either. And like in other ways, we're, we're tougher if you, if you know what I mean, like, but, but again, like society's changed massively, like everything's changed massively. You know, we are more in control of like our environment and wildlife and all that kind of stuff. Uh, where, where we weren't before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That took a long, long fucking time. Imagine like, uh, like at first, yeah, it would have been rough. Like people like living in caves and probably people dying of old age when they're like 15 years old or whatever, but like slowly over like generations and generations of like learning how to do certain things and doing them well and then setting up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think probably once they started,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not just that, there wasn't as many people either. Like, you know, you'd have to spend 12 hours foraging food now because there's like tons of mouths to feed, but back then there was like five people, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, maybe they did, in some cases they probably did stumble across things that was like, okay, we know how to replicate this, but we don't actually understand it at all. Yeah, I'm not saying they understood the processes. It's just a miracle that it's working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Timmy the chieftain probably accidentally, uh, burnt some food and then, you know, didn't want to look bad in front of the village. So he, he like, maybe if I just like put a bunch of smoke on it, it'll be fine. And then much to everyone's delight. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was no formula to it, there was no, you know, there was no, like, uhm, uhm, I don't know, like, uh, like, epitome moments where they're like, hallelujah, we now know how to go forward. Back then, it was just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, again, slowly, we got here slowly. Like, like one generation's claim to fame was the wheel. And then nothing happened for like 500 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a couple of generations later, it was like, holy shit, Ugg discovered the magic of fire and then nothing happened for a thousand years. You know what I mean? That's just, that's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were dumb and lucky. They were not dumb and lucky. They had numbers as well. They had other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh oh. Ugg killed himself in the magic fire. Okay, Ugg, Ugg. Your turn. They keep trying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and we're lucky because 2000 years ago, cavemen were smart enough to put together the Morrell Initiative, which, uh, which made it so that they were able to harvest it more efficiently and they discovered all the ins and outs of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, please don't do this. Mushrooms are pretty amazing. I mean, like, you know that, you know, the corn brand, um, uh, food, you know, like, uh, it's all, it's all, uh, from, uh, micro proteins from mushrooms, fungus starts as nothing and they make it into something. It's fucking incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it could solve a lot of food problems for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went to this vegan restaurant while we were in Portugal and it was like, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't order from the menu. Every day they just had stuff that they made. And you could order as much or as little as you wanted to. So like, you could just, if you wanted to just order the main course. Or you could have like a bunch of like entrees, the main course, and then they had like some other stuff or whatever. So there's like five of us, so we just ordered everything. We ordered two of everything and just shared everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck me man, it was so good. Like the vegan cheese, they had like this risotto with like some vegan cheese on it and stuff. You couldn't tell the difference, like super good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's interesting though. I think it's interesting that they can do this stuff without sort of having to rely on animals or animal byproducts or even, uh, even sort of elements of animals' habitats as well. I just think it's amazing that people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it's, it's just, it's just not to stay, there's no long-term plan for it. Like, we, we, there's no way we can carry on like we are, like, consuming the, like, meat and even, even farming the way that we do in, like, a hundred years' time. Like, it's, I think it's so interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the problem with all of this stuff is that it's happening so gradually that it's never, there's, there's never anything like shocking enough to happen that, that sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, doing everything they can to help and do this or whatever, but because there's nothing like threatening you and your life like this instant, you know, it's like people just don't give a fuck. They're comfortable or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, half the time I can't even drain the water out of my bathtub, so. For instance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to be just absolutely pulverized into another dimension.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't wanna survive that. Because it's not gonna be Fallout. It's not gonna be, it's not gonna be cool like garbage towns and stuff. It's just gonna be a lot of weirdos who all of a sudden have nothing and can't control anybody anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there's gonna be a lot of like, really dark shit that happens, and they'll all kill each other, basically. Yeah, it'll be horrendous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of people who feel the same way, who are going, who are, you know, there's big movements towards more sustainable, more sensible things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's a very slow process because there's a lot of people who fight against them. They don't want anything to change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cheese made with coconut oil is not mass produced, I can guarantee you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of this stuff is just like, they get a crate of it and maybe 10 other stores get a crate of it as well and it sits on the shelf for like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Years, like when I used to work at the grocery store, there was always shit like that. There was like, you'd get like these like, uh, tins of, I don't know, something like that, you know, like cheese made of coconut oil or whatever. And it looked great. And like one yoga mum would buy it like once a decade, basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, fiber samples, DNA testing, all that stuff wasn't really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big, you know, it was like, it was still not trusted. Uhm, they still used a lot of like lie detector tests, uh, that, that were admissible, which aren't anymore and stuff like that. So like forensic science has come a long way since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's led to them catching people early before they become serial killers. So serial killing is on the decline, but nowadays, it is interesting, mass shootings are on the rise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normally, like, uh, have, have mental issues, right? Like they, they start to like isolate themselves from people, society. They plan all this stuff long in advance. They fantasize about things. And I think mass shootings follow the same thought processes, right? There's a lot of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, they manipulate the media and they try to make law enforcement look useless and stupid and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, we're gonna need another tier of Patreon now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think if you get caught jugging or potting, uh, while you're in jail, I think your sentence should be extended to life. Like, like just automatically. Even worse. You just couldn't help yourself, could you Billy? You just couldn't help it, could you? You just had to jug him. Well, now you're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think anyone comes out of prison the same person that they went into and I guess that's kind of the point, but I don't see that as a positive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like you hear about them and you hear about these places, but they're very sort of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Norway for example, okay, uhm, you always hear that they have like great social systems, they have great like prisons, they got great everything and stuff, but it's just a really boring place, like nothing really happens there anyway. So it's like, I imagine all their prisons are just empty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're responsible for one of your favorites, uh, Flax, uh, U-Boat. And, uh, they also do, uh, they also publish House Flipper and Train Station Renovation Manager and Junkyard Simulator and all these fucking fantastic games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's coming out. I don't know when. I've been waiting for it for a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Playway SA have just sent me a key for a game called, are you ready? Yep. Radio Commander. Alright? Okay. Okay. Are you interested a little bit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would like to offer you an exclusive access to Radio Commander, a realistic real-time strategy game set during the Vietnam War exclamation. Use the radio to give commands to the soldiers on the battlefield. Keep track of the situation based on their voice reports only.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, I also have some work-setting news for you. Guess what is back. Rust? That's right. The Apprentice has started. Oh, The Apprentice. Again. This week, it's started. Fucking you kidding me? Is that a bong bong?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They went to South Africa, one team had to do a safari, okay, and the other team had to do a luxury wine tasting day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a sick fascination though, like sometimes you just want to see what happens, but it was pretty bad. Pretty, pretty bad. They pick them. They pick them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, I would never admit to that, but sure, go for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just yanking your crank. Fuck porn by the way. The minute you mentioned headmistress, all I could picture in my mind was somebody saying, you've been a very naughty daddy. You've been a very naughty daddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, once an asshole, always an asshole basically. If you, if you detect that someone's an asshole at school, 100% guaranteed that person will still be an asshole as an adult. Even worse actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See how well everybody is done, make you feel bad about yourself. Oh shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks like Mandy went on and met some other stud and had five kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys, do you guys know anybody that you went to school with who is in currently serving time in jail?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to school with a guy who was implicated, uh, in, uh, September 11th stuff. He was like, yeah, he was arrested shortly after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guy went to school with, uh, died in a car crash as well. That's one of the only people I know from school who's actually died as well. It's weird, isn't it? Like, you go to school with a ton of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On average, you would expect some of them to do either exceedingly well and some people to end up just in like these hopeless situations or whatever. But for the most part, as far as I can tell, most people just are pretty average, you know? They've averaged out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. Nice. Did you wake up and was the poo, had the poo completely exited your ass and was just like lying delicately beside you on the bed or did you wake up with just shit all up in your ass crack like and a bit on the bed as well?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then two seconds later, my wife walks into the garage and she's got a cup of tea for me. I was like, holy fuck. Like, were you watching the stream? Could you just tell like by the look on my face that I need a tea? And she's like, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I look and I see my wife come to the door and I can tell by my wife's expression that she's like, what the fuck is this person doing here? That was that kind of expression. So the door opens and I see them like talking or whatever. Next thing I see my wife handing her a chair from our kitchen. What the fuck? And then my wife does this thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She thinks I can understand what she's saying by like doing like this weird like, uh, like not- Like a semaphore. Yeaah, kinda like using gestures and like, uh, not talking but I meant to like read her lips or something. Yeaah. So she's trying to explain what turned into- out to be like quite a complex situation. Like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's like, um, and there's like fucking three ambulances like outside of my house. And she's like, oh, uh, yeah, as our neighbor, uh, there's an old man just like collapsed outside by the road and she had to phone the, uh, paramedics and, uh, she wanted to borrow a chair so he could sit on it. Cause apparently he had like heart problems or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, oh, okay, great. And then she brought the chair back and he, I think he's okay. He, they had to be taken to hospital and stuff. But, uh, had it not been for that window, I wouldn't have known any of this was going on. I would have been blissfully unaware. I would have been in here. I wouldn't have known about the collapse, the, uh, the loan of my kitchen chair, nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, anyway, I'm out of stories, guys. I mean, it's been two weeks, so a lot of stuff has accumulated, but I've, uh, I've fully blown my load now. That's everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, you know what Terry did today? He climbed up onto his house and dropped a big one on top of his house. So when I came in this morning, he wasn't on his house anymore, looking at me with like this glint in his eye. He's like, Terry, what's going on? Look over his house. There's just a massive pile of shit on top of his house. He just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dropped a huge one. Yeah. So maybe he's dirty protesting. If you could do that, you probably would though, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I tell you guys about when I went to Canada and I smoked some weed, like in April when I was back for like a week?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We smoked some weed and I tried to tell people the story about, uh, my friend who shit in a margarine container and, uh, was opening it very slightly in the car and everybody was like almost barfing. It stunk so much. Anyway, I tried to tell that story and I could not stop laughing. Like it was so fucking funny. I don't know what it is about shit. It just absolutely slays me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna be reminded continually of your own mortality and the fact that your life is ebbing away hour by hour. Go ahead and write down everything you've fucking done and think, I'm wasting my life. Well, so every hour,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have no problem with that, have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is people being so obsessed with their own lives and what they're doing and how fucking fascinating they wanna be that they note down every single bloody thing they do and I'm sorry if the average day isn't thrilling for you, but Jesus Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, a lot of these Instagram models that you'll see, loads of the pictures of them chilling in their house, hanging out, they're just with friends, and all of a sudden they're on a yacht in the middle of the Mediterranean. No explanation for how they got there. Because they get paid to go out there and fuck a rich dude for a week, and they take a load of pictures, and that's how they make their money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I remember I had a bone to pick with you, Mr. Lovis, okay? I was playing games last night with my boys, and one of them said that you claimed that the microwave was a boomer appliance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is ludicrous. First of all, you can't just say, this was invented a long time ago, therefore it's boomer stuff. Well then, any telephone is, because Alexander Graham Bell was even older than the boomer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything that you would see on an infomercial, like save time when you're cooking popcorn, that kind of stuff. That's boomer appliances, because who the fuck else has the money to afford all this extra luxurious, oh when you cook it, it's extra crispy, like no one. Only the boomers have that kind of money. That's my point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The microwave is a standard appliance that students have. Even now! It's still a fucking boomer appliance. It's not!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but telling people, just get a job. That's some boomer shit. Claiming, claiming that you shouldn't have any debt when you leave university. That's ridiculous. Why have you got all this debt? That's boomer shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a fucking advert on, I was watching daytime TV the other day, which I never fucking do, but I was watching a movie on TCM, right? Strangers on a Train, and I was watching the recording of that. It's a Hitchcock classic. There are a couple of things I want to talk about in that movie. But first, there was an advert about equity release in your home, which is ONLY


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] applicable to fucking boomers because they're the only ones with enough equity sat in their massive houses that they bought for two grand back in the 60s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gosh, I hope my parents leave some stuff because we've got, you know, we've got debt problems that they never had. Instead, they release that equity and they buy shit. So the advert is this woman saying to her husband, and they're obviously in their 70s, maybe even slightly older than that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I just don't know about, you know, I get this feeling guilt, guilt, guilt when I think about it, uuuh. And he says, yeah, but we could buy a mobile home and go tour the country. She's like, oh, go on then. And that's the advert. The advert is the mother is feeling guilt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. Rather than keep the equity and pass it on to their kids and their kids' kids. That advert, that advert is representative to me of the curse of boomerism and that's what people should be angry about. Not a fucking microwave!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you've got the ultra tryhard streamers, then you've got like the pro players in whatever game it is dipping their toes into streaming and they get a buck load of views because they're really, really good and they're playing like ultra high level games, and then you seem to have these people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That mainly seem to do chatting, and they're just sitting and chatting to someone about other streamers. It's super circle jerky, and they'll be like, they'll talk about this other guy, and then they'll have, I saw this kind of podcasting they did, nine people in the conversation. Nine! What the fuck, that's not a conversation!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I just feel like that whole talking thing, just chatting or whatever, or you know, RL streams, is just super easy, lazy content where they just walk around and they don't even say anything. Like I've watched it and there's nothing interesting, there's no conversation happening that I think, this is interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that stuff I don't get. Like, it's just not for us, I guess, is the main thing. But I guess if you really like these personalities, and you like, like, I think that the main reason people are watching is because they want drama, someone to say something that they shouldn't say. I mean, Livestream Fails, the subreddit Livestream Fails, is like, full of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, personalities into this sort of social circle where they all stream with each other and chat about each other and do all this stuff, and you hope there's drama. That's pretty much what it is. People are craving drama, like someone saying something cheap, something clippable. So that seems to me like a big chunk of Twitch, and I think a lot of the emote usage that you don't, or we don't understand,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It comes from those communities, because they're so powerful, they're so big, such a big voice on Twitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think it's interesting to talk about it. I just think it's, I mean, you know, I think it's alright to talk about it. I'm not, I'm not saying it shouldn't exist. If people are watching it and it's not illegal, go for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't want it to become just a lifestyle live streaming thing. I think it needs to be, we need a gaming streaming platform like Twitch. And I certainly wouldn't think that they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the best way I could think of it was when we have our babysitter around, she's like, I think she's like 18. And so my kids, that's like amazing because she's like a grown up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to them, this is the best of both worlds, because she's cool, because she's older, but she's still young and, and, and, you know, she's only a few years older than them, really. So to them, it's like, this is like this amazing crossover point between


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me and Mrs. F who must seem fucking ancient to them and other kids. So they see this young adult and they're like, this is awesome. And they're talking to me and that's fantastic. So they don't normally get to chat to teenagers. So to them,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listening to 16, 17, 18 year olds talking on the internet is like, oh, this is amazing. Cause this is like talking to the big kids at secondary school. To them, it's mind blowing. That's how I think it must be like that to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it Radioactive Man? No, no, it was the, uh, Itchy and Scratchy and Poochy where they were trying to focus group the kids to see which new characters they liked and what they liked about Itchy and Scratchy. Right. They must do that kind of stuff for these shows. Like, get a shitload of characters drawn up and some voices and say, alright kids, which of these do you like? And they go, we like that!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, like they're kind of last year, or even 2018 was their boom time, and they started off as just a plastic- Boom time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They start off as like a plastic ball and you open it up and there's a tiny shitty plastic toy in there. Yeah. And all these other tiny shitty plastic things and most of the packaging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean like my, my kids bought some Harry Potter plushies and you don't know what you've got. It might be Harry, might be Hermione, might be Neville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, the only toy that I can remember, like you said, when we were kids, trading cards, but I was also thinking, the toys you used to get in boxes of cereal, and the toys that you used to get with a happy meal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you'd be like, I've already got so-and-so, I really hope I get blah blah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a solo superhero, as a solo superhero you're saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting. I wonder if that was written by a zoomer, since it's slagging off every fucking generation before their own. This is, this is the generation with the biggest chip on its shoulder since the boomers, which is ironic, fucking love themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People want to impress other people when you're in a group, and they want the stupider thing they can do the better. Like, yea, Sips is right. It's just a group thing. I'm sure it's happened forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are like your consciousness. She was, she was like pointing to the top of her head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was like, don't you feel like you exist behind your eyes? Like don't you feel like that's where you're centered? Like when you point to yourself, people point either to their heart or they point to their, sort of their head. You know, you think about yourself as existing just behind your eyes and all the rest of this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is you, like that is the entirety of you as a person, as a personality, as your experience, as everything exists in that one thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think it's way more than just like an organ. So you gotta look after your brain. That's basically yourself. That's it. So everything else must be an extension of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wait, you mean like all the stuff that lives in our gut and stuff? Yeah. Cause I read that there are more organisms living in us than we have cells in our body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently, they did. They didn't, they didn't, they didn't die. They died because they got horrible infections and rotted to death, basically. That was it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Isn't this like the Gaia hypothesis? Yeah, I read that one on Reddit earlier and just thought it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that the problem is that the energy and material cost of making them at the moment means that the energy you would subsequently save by using solar power would take a very long time to pay it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe this is a new marketing strategy for environmentally friendly products. Instead of saying, you can save the planet, which Sips doesn't, apparently doesn't give a shit about, he just wants, cause it's cool. Yeaah. It would be fun. Let's, let's, I mean, try that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, yes! So if you had a watch that said to you, your solar panels have just generated enough electricity to power a television for an hour. You'd be like, fuck yeah! And like a little bar goes up, how many souls can you collect today? Perfect! Market it that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think if you're interested in it, go for it. Yeah, I think it'd be kinda cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't we talk about this in a previous one where I said that the future is that there won't be parked cars ever? Because you won't own a car. Like you said, you'll own a share in a car. Like you'll have access to a car for paying a monthly fee. I mean, people already make the decision, do I want to own a car or do I just want to Uber everywhere? And that's the first step to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, we're talking about the electric car that you don't even have to drive. So you could get in and you could pick your nose the entire way whilst reading a porn mag or do whatever you want to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast, uh, with me, also, P-Flex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grab, grip it by the balls and just fucking run away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's the drawback. Oh, that would be way worse. Inappropriate hand control. Oh, man. Like, imagine if, like, you were just, like, every time you were in range of a woman's boob, you just uncontrollably reached down. In range. I like that description. I have to, like, I have to stop myself, honestly. Like, I don't know, there's just this desire to, like, in my head. In your head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm always, humans are, right? We're always on the edge of doing stuff that kind of automatically that we don't quite, or saying things inappropriately that we don't quite mean. I think you are. Most of the time, 99% of the time you manage to stop yourself, but you can, I can always, I might, my fear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it's just her mispronouncing. I feel like that would be quite a common thing. Yea, absolutely, absolutely. I think kids because of the chicken nuggets being so close to you. It's like a vowel


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you always, we always do that. We just skip the, like when you're doing a phrase like that, you switch around the first two letters. And that's why, I mean, I was always told, like this one guy who said, oh, you're looking for like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Family friendly swear words. Just say chicken nuggets. And I was like, oh, chicken nuggets. I like that as like a chicken nugget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quora is one of these fucking websites that you Google question and there's some old woman or middle-aged woman on Quora saying like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's an army language that's been going through hundreds and hundreds of years. You know, you'd get some, some posh fucking asshole, you know, officer in World War One hanging out with the troops, you know, in the trenches. And he'd be like, my goodness me, the boys are using some very flowery language in the trenches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of the others. Cadets doesn't sound as cool. No, it doesn't. Alright. Thank you. Uh, I think, I think this, I think this is people, partly people envisioning like an alternate, yes, because people say, oh, look how close we were to nuclear Armageddon, you know, look how close we were to this happening, all that happening. Obviously it didn't. Um, but it's nice to like, but people often,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Hitler's at the door. He could, he could boat over here anytime. You know, they got their little motorboats. They're going to come over and fucking invade. We need to, we need to be, this is, this is it. You know, you have to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 21 boys each. If 2 bears decided on a crowd of boys, those boys would be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God came down and was like, fuck you assholes, here's two bears, suck this. And 42 of them got torn to shreds. Uh, so yea, if you call me Baldi, that's gonna happen to you, you fucker. And then, you know, that's basically it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought confession and all this and absolution and all this stuff and eating the body of Christ and he died for our sins so we didn't have to like, you know, fucking die as well, like, I thought, well, it's got just a fucking, just a, a fickle asshole just squeezing people like bugs to death, like just because he feels like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess like, there's gotta be some good things that come out of it, right? Uhm, but I also think there's some poison in there that makes people behave horribly in the name of, in the name of, of some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's not enforcing our society through any other way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think some things like modern things are like superhero stories, you know, a kind of this, this, this heroic kind of attitude where you're helping people and saving people and being good to people and, you know, being good to each other. Feels like these are the modern parables, you know, that we, we take. Iron Man's sacrifice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't cry when people, I don't cry when characters die. I cry when something epic happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think honestly you're right, like there are some really cool epic moments in movies and stories that make you think, yeah, great. And that's what it's about. It's about those cool moments where you think, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But sometimes it's very, I don't know, it's a good feeling to like be, well actually you must experience it in Dota sometimes when, you know, you've played against a specific team or something and you've lost to them before and then you finally


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And ultimately the good ones do in a way that is satisfying and not just some sort of cop out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I mean, even in this sort of dystopian attitude where the good guys don't have to win, it feels like modern, since Game of Thrones, the good guys don't have to win. Apart from at the very end, in which case it just gets thrown out of the window. Just please ignore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, you know, certainly in the middle seasons, it didn't feel like, like for me, it's all about unpredictable stuff. That's what I like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone's been following this thing, this story, and so they have, so you can bring in new people, but you can also, you know, make it very fulfilling for everyone who's watched the entire site. Right. I think in some cases like, I'm torn actually about it now, maybe I'm wrong, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, like at the same time, like, you know, I can, I can enjoy watching, like I watched, um, like Dunkirk and The Darkest Hour and some of these like war movies about Churchill and Dunkirk and things. And it's a very epic tale. And you know, with the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck, man. It is all that macho-y wank though, isn't it? It's always led by these kind of people who fucking give you a wet willy and stuff. Do you know what I mean? Those types of assholes. People who play sport, people who play football, or, I watched this thing on Netflix, the Aaron Hernandez, have you watched the Aaron Hernandez? No, I meant to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, push you or do things like physical things to you. And they don't even think it's like, it's part of who they are and like their attitude of what's friendly and what's behaviour and it's like this learned


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like two gorillas, I don't know, like just in position, you know, it's like a weird animal instinctual thing that they do and they learn in these sports teams to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like so like, I don't know, so adrenaline fueled and wild and crazy and dramatic. And I think that that all became part of his, I don't know. I think it just changed who he was and he became this weird, weird guy, like physically violent to people, like women and men and other people. And it culminated in him just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing this crazily macho things, like, like, like he thought he was in the Mafia or something, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that it's a billion dollar industry where these guys are willing to put themselves through this for the, you know, it's a little bit like, I hate to say it, but like sometimes when


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do, like, a shoot or whatever. So for example, when Game Grumps came down, they were doing crazy stuff. They were just, like, jumping off a fucking, fucking, like, fence and, like, just falling on, like, twisting their arms and stuff, like, actually physically hurting themselves for, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it's like cultural or something. But everyone's done it as well. Everyone gets this idea to like play it up. Like if you're doing a play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You kind of over egg it to put on a good show and you do things that you wouldn't otherwise do. You like, um, physically anyway. And I think with wrestlers and footballers and maybe they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe they push themselves beyond, they can't help it. Everyone can tell them, don't push yourself. Like the whole team could be like the coach and everyone in the medical people could be like, push yourself. Do not do these physical things that will hurt you. And they do them anyway, cause they feel they have to, or they feel they want to. It's like their decision, but that ends up giving them these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it is interesting. It's because we have this, we have, with the English speaking world, you know, we've got us and Australia and New Zealand and Canada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and a lot of people in, in other countries as well who are English speaking and we, we, we consume American media. We consume American propaganda. The internet largely is very American centric. There's a lot of creators and stuff and a lot of the shows we watch and you know, we are very associated with the American news, the American story. They won the culture war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did, and we feel like, I mean our country, we have these things that work and we just, we look at their country and we're just like, how?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are you not, like, making these changes? Like, are they just good for everyone? Like, there's not, I'm not saying you have to stop playing football, I'm not saying you have to stop having guns, you know. I'm just saying, like, take these steps towards, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rationalism. Like, I don't know, like, like, you've won the culture war, but you've forgotten about science. Like, come on, put some, put some points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, here's the thing about like that, like it doesn't even have to be permanent. Like these people, sometimes people go through bad times and within a couple of weeks or months, you don't have to be on these drugs forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you just need to, like a lot of times you just have to zap something or, or, or, you know, like, like it doesn't have to be the be-all and the end or sometimes people are just having a bad time for a few months because of various reasons or things have piled up or they're in a bad state of mind for unknown situations in their life. If people have a troublesome life, then that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this that World War II thing again? It's like we're all saying everything is terrible so that we force people to change for the better. Like we have to assume that everything is terrible or else we're like, oh, everything's sorted. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, we're, we're doing a thing then. But we, it could always be better. Cause we're humans, right? We always assume that the grass is greener. We always assume that everyone...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's very biblical. That's very biblical, P-flax. That's like a modern proverb. Like P-flax 1-1. You should always be looking to make things better. Or what's, for other people, what's the point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you're like the footballer. I think you are different though if you're a monk. You've had this different brain chemistry going on for too long and it's made you weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dry force crew. Yea, you gotta like have a lot of effects and stuff in there too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They always have a news helicopter, like they always have fucking, just the dumbest shit. They got the Doppler radar for the weather and everything. I don't know what, I don't know what's up with the American radio stations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I think this is one of the longest things I've ever committed to in my life besides being married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's been a lot of podcasts come out of this and it sucks. They're all the same. I mean, Lewis, you're a lot like me, I think, where like you, you start something with these great intentions and you're like, yeah, this is going to be awesome. And then after a while, you just stop doing it. You just give up or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Flax, I guess you're in the same boat. But with Tri-Force it's weird. Maybe now I'm jinxing it though. Now that I'm, now that I'm sort of drawing attention to it, watch, it'll fizzle out and we won't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the other one. There's only two guys in crisscross but I see what you mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ones back in the studio always have that, like, uh, that garbage charm, don't they? Like, it's not charming at all and you just, you end up feeling just a sense of loathing towards...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More tolerable somehow, you know, like especially you hear people that have been on the radio for years. I mean, I think this kind of applies to us as well. You know, we're very sort of confident in front of a microphone, right? Like we can sit here and talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, and be like expressive and stuff like that. The first time you go to record yourself, you're not like that at all, right? Is this something that you just get better at? No, it's like you're holding in a shit the first time you try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Studio news announcers, particularly it seems in North America, I don't know if this applies elsewhere. I mean, in Britain, they're very, very sort of low key and conservative, aren't they? They're, you know, they're not over the top at all. They're just very sort of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just, you know, give you the information and it's all presented in a very sort of, uh, I don't know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have to be like that though, cause it's, you know, they have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot to like in Bodega though. I think it's good. I honestly, I think it's good. I used to love listening to the stories. It was nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes, sometimes though, and I'm not saying that he doesn't like it because I truly believe that he does, okay, let me just preface with that. Don't do this. But sometimes people in that capacity open with that all the time. You know what I mean? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They open with, with it's garbage if you're like top of the pile, right? Like if you're the guy who owns like EMI records or something like that, yea, he'll open up with that's garbage because he's looking for the next big thing or whatever. Anyone below him is always going to open up with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First off, let me just say, amazing. Because they're hopeful that they can spin this for you into a big money maker, cause they'll profit off the back of it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How does this work then, Flax? I mean, you did the whole thing, so I assume that you're just gonna get paid for it, like just you, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Open strong. That's it. That's what you gotta do. You gotta, you gotta, you gotta like scare them away from making any, uhm, any, any fuck over decisions. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could do, you should do a Bodega press conference at YodCon, and uh, we could stage a whole bunch of like, reporters and flash photography and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the storm office is, is, is particularly nice. You know, when you try to leave, like, uh, when you hear the crackle of the microphone as well as say, you try to leave very gracefully and, but then you like, you turn around and you get like all the, the, the camera snapping, the people like, you know, shouting for you to come back or whatever quickly, but then you, you bump into somebody who's in the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Under fire for something, right? They have to give a really tough...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Press conference where they have to, and I admit, yes, I was masturbating on the bus. No more questions, I gotta go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say my top one is, okay, I think it's this order, okay? You ready for this? I think it's in this order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, the top three. My number one is The Sun on Sunday, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I think my number three is the Sunday Times. You know why I'm saying this? Because I think most people, I think a lot of people buy the paper daily, but I think a lot of, and a lot of people buy the paper on Sunday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're individually selling. Top 10 UK newspapers by circulation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nando's? Maybe there's no dining in Preston except for one Nando's. Maybe that's all they got. Nando's is revolutionary. Is Preston a big place? Preston.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's true. They do have hundreds and hundreds of football teams in England.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, speaking of Elton John, there's a movie coming out about him. There is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's right. Is it called Elton? No, it's not. It's called Rocketman or something like that. But it's, um, it's in the same sort of vein as your, you know, Bohemian Rhapsody, the, the, the Queen Freddie Mercury biopic. And they, you know, like there's the, that Molly Crew. I think these biopics now are, are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are, are, are, are getting a bit more popular, you know, maybe now, now that they have like the technology to go back over like really famous concerts and stuff and, and almost like remake them and whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is kind of exciting, isn't it? Cause like, you get to learn a little bit more about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's probably a really different, um, experience than, you know, perhaps seeing- Four years ago, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to see like a boyopic made about uhm, like a, like a really good, uh, Beatles one could be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a, a really good Led Ze-, like they have to be really good, right? I thought Bohemian Rhapsody was really well done. I thought it was really good. Yeah, I liked it. Yeah, I thought it was good. I thought it was, I thought it was pretty good. They put a lot of attention to detail in it and stuff and I thought it was just pretty, pretty decent. It was alright. And if they did that with some other like bigger, you know, bands from like the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like all take that music as well, isn't it? Like every song, like every song take that have ever done is just like, you know, you know that if you're going to go to an office, like a quiz or something that they're going to play that today, this could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe she was just going through a phase though. Or do you think that now somewhere out there, there she is just still listening to Queen. She's old. She's like 43 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just imagine- I'm just imagining you going to this girl's house and all she's listening to on repeat is Bicycle Race by Queen, which makes it even creepier. Like that's a really weird song, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was hated when it first came out. People did not like it at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of those things that just became, I think, funnily enough, I think it had a resurgence in popularity after, after like, uh, the 90s, like Wayne's World. It was in Wayne's World, yeaah. It was sort of, sort of introduced it to like the younger generation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, fair enough. I mean, I mean, if you don't like Queen for that reason, then that's fair enough. That's just one of many reasons. I was just interested because you just seemed to like, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Surprising. It's not something you hear everyday. Most people don't hate Queen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was the girl in the yellow dress in Apollo 13. Uh, she was, she played the surprised Who in How the Grinch Stole Christmas from 2000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Restless. No. No, she produced that one. Nevermind. Uh, Pete's, no, that's not M. Night Shyam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2? No, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Yeah, so she is gonna be in Rocketman. She's, she stars in Rocketman. She's in Rocketman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's scary. You know what else is kind of crazy about China? They can build like a high rise building in like two weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uhm, they, they, they manufacture in, in their factories. They manufacture, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, like building a Jenga tower. It's already all built. They just like, they slot them all in and weld them in place and then boom, you've got like a high rise built in like two weeks. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, that is just so fucking stupid. If you, if you are a manager at Halfords or the owner of Halfords and you're listening to this, uh, by any chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think anything would taste good if you were stuck in a trench, like fighting for your life, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your standards are all of a sudden drop because you're so fucking hungry and, uh, your life is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and you have to like figure out who did it or whatever. Do they ever do those? Do they do more elaborate ones where you go out to the woods and it's kind of like maybe a bit like... I do, I think you're talking about laughing there. I think probably if you want to do...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's more like a medieval murder mystery though, I'm talking more like a modern one, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you just like, you go, you set up your camp and stuff and they're like, alright guys, now that you're all set up and everything, let's take a look at the evidence. And they take you out and there's just like some, some woman crucified on a tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think stuff like that is going to become, you know, I think, I think these escape rooms and stuff, these experiences, like this, this, uh, this experience economy, right, is going to just evolve. Like VR is going to help it as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's gonna be shit like that where you have to solve like a very elaborate crime or something that's, you know, like fictional, but you know, you immerse yourself into it and it's very well done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People do like that dark tourist shit. I wish I would have thought of that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe I need to start thinking about a, uh, an experience for people, the people of Jersey. Like we'll have like, pretty soon I'll have the whole island on, on lockdown with all of my, with all of my business ventures, right? Like you land at the airport, we're going to have the titty bar up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you drive into town and then you can go to like my, my, my cutting edge experience bar, which, uh, will have like a murder mystery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have any search now, we're gonna put you into your Alcatraz cell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, so it would appeal to people who like to, like, flash p-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The last one was about, uh, post-natal depression and stuff like that. And I just was like, oh, I can't fucking watch this. I just- Yeaah, it's just really-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck me. Yeah, goddamn, it's about fucking time. Like, it's such a fucking irresponsible show that's been on the air for fucking so long now. Like, Jesus Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fucking garbage man, it's just, it's a show designed to make people look stupid, and he's just feasting on their fucking misery as well, like some parasite. What an asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about Trisha? Remember, remember Trisha? That got cancelled as well, didn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, well yeaah, but then you have like a lot of those, remember they had like Phil Donahue back in the day? Yeaah, Geraldo. And uh, who's that other guy? Montel Williams? Montel Williams. Dr. Phil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all property, cookery, gardening, and like antiques and shit. Yea true, yea, really like traffic crime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's funny what's like how, how different it, I don't know, maybe cause I haven't lived in North America for a long time, so maybe it's different now, but I remember it being.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a lot of fishing shows as well. Have you ever seen a fishing show in North America?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have like the simple grunt works at the bottom, you know, just the simple- Like the drone. The drones, and then you have like, they go up to very complicated- The vibrating delirium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess you get like the, those big machines, like the fucking bronco ones and stuff. Those aren't for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, I like, I like the footnotes. And also I like, the reason I like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was younger, I read a lot of his stuff, yeaah. But that footnote, for example, does remind me of... Yeaah, that's exactly the kind of thing. Something you just want to do a little bit of worldbuilding and make a couple of funny jokes. Yeaah, yeaah. And it just works nicely in that format. I like that. I love them. And I like the little kind of, the little just jokes that aren't like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna, I think we're gonna see if we can get like a studio near where he lives and you can just go there for the day and read it to him. I'm not going to join, I'm not going to go down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh. So is that it? Is that all we're getting? Yeah, I think so. We've got some questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, at the end of some books you get like a sample chapter. Oh, right. To give you a flavour. Yeah, yeah. And you read it and it's like, oh, nah, nah, I'm alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so uh, I'm excited, I'm excited for, for people to get their hands on it and see what they think. Have people got it yet? When's it come, when?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Good answer, that's right. Yeaah. Stick to the script, flax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry. What script? Well, there isn't a script.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I dunno, like, I feel a bit bad, cause he was like, oh you know, keeps the flow better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He wasn't like an old man. He was grizzled enough that he was still good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was directing films, wasn't he? Didn't he do one with a horse in it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes people treat spaceships like submarines, you know, and they have this kind of, or like pirate ships, they have this like ship mentality to them, where you're isolated and other people are more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like, like Futurama's more wild and bonkers and kind of crazy sci-fi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the different choices and it feels like bodega's, there's a mix. It's a whole mix of all, all bits of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And deliberately so, to have this universe of wonders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean, you must have seen so many, so do you worry that like, that, you know, we forget obviously what we've talked about in the trifles podcast last week, you know, do you worry that like you played or watched like some sci-fi thing 10 years ago and you're unintentionally ripping it off or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Must happen all the time. You know, I'm constantly stealing people's ideas and thinking they were my ideas. It's just part of, can't avoid it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like world where you just have to kind of roll with it, you know? It's like, you know, it's like a lot of history and a lot of stories that we're told about history are obviously written by the victors and it's not necessarily


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, yeah, there was some guy contacted me about doing some comics actually, and I was really thinking strongly about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think how cool it is, like, it's just a thing to have, you know? Yeaah. They're such a cool medium, really fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's quite, it's like it's being read out by you. And I think it works with a little bit of stylistic tidying up, which me and Richard did. Yeah, thank God for people that know how grammar


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't, when I was reading them through, I didn't, I wasn't like, it felt like I was reading them for the first time, so it wasn't like, even though I'd heard them before, I wasn't like super familiar with it, and it was a different experience, so yeaah, I think that was all good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a cycle, you know, every like 10 years, Muppets get bigger again. Yeah, I love the Muppets. Yeah, I reckon, I reckon that'll be alright. Muppets in space, have they done that? Yeah, they have. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing's changed. I'm literally the same. If anything, I feel like I feel guilty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm at home all the time, I'm bored, I don't get to go outside. I'm like, I never, should I be going outside? Is this what I've been doing wrong all this time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. I'll just wait. I can wait a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everybody and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast 2020 Triforce Podcast. Uh, welcome back. Hey P-Flex, how you doing? Doing alright. How you doing, Sips?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's Serenity Now. So, uh, I love, I love, I was thinking about Serenity Now in the lift yesterday, when I was, when I was stuck in there and I was like just looking at myself in the mirror, just like thinking,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, do you reckon like, okay, here you go, here's my question about Serenity Now. Serenity Now is from, um, Seinfeld. It's obviously written by Larry David, and very much like the character of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I think that sometimes the memorable stuff, some of the, some of the, I certainly remember a lot of these moments where you're like, you know, where Larry David is like being told, oh, you know, this is unrealistic. This didn't happen. You know, this couldn't ever happen. And then he says, well, this actually happened to me. That's why, you know, it's why it's in here. Anyway, I get, I get the impression that like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of like guru to the stars, you know, in the nineties and Larry David crossing paths with him and just thinking he's just fucking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like who gives that kind of advice. So anyways, for some reason I always just sometimes think of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a new thing. It's a new thing for 2020. Um, so, so how are you guys doing? How are you feeling? You feeling good in the new year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can happen. Could be. Oh, could I just say it's lovely hearing the bird song? Yeah, it's nice, yeah. You know it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, it is, right? These days you get some estate agent, some posh woman, she'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me show you around this lovely ecologically friendly house that where we have let the front and back gardens go to wilderness area to help the local wildlife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, inside, there is a treasure trove of goodies. Uh, there's an escape room. Uhm, you know, you have to navigate the small tunnels. We've done it to make it feel big. Feel big, you know, but it's actually- Watch out for the foot traps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, welcome back everyone, um, I read a story this morning on the news, I thought I should tell you this news because I read it, it was interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's much more uplifting. Uh, the family of a pair of miniature schnauzers


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They launched, they launched a rescue campaign. Okay. And contacted mountain rescue teams, friends and family. Of course they did. Uh, more than a hundred and twenty people and two drones answered the call. Right. Answered the call. I like how- The call to arms. I like how two drones, like, they turned up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a real mixed bag of fucking local fuckers. Uh, after 96 hours of searching, as a last resort,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were shocked and thrilled when, to the smell of sausages, their beloved pets appeared. When they first appeared it was like a mirage. I couldn't believe it was them, said Mrs. Hammerson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh. That is, anyway, you know, I've seen a bunch of these things where some guy has gone on holiday or to France or whatever, his kid's gone missing and 20 years later he's still looking for his kid, right? Cause he's like, he's obsessed with it. He can't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just the level of effort here, like 96 hours of camping. When were they gonna stop? When was enough?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think any of them will disagree with you, but I think they think that the pecking order is very, very close. Do you know what I mean? It's only a fraction of a millimetre.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what happens is that gets deflected onto you though, because you're then supposed to treat your pets the same way they treat their pet kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We obviously live in this age of humanism where, you know, the human is the big priority in our society, you know, at the expense of everything else, at the expense of the planet, at the expense of, you know, the billion chickens, or 20 billion chickens, or how many we eat every year. It's insane. I eat a billion myself, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I watched this documentary on Netflix that I'd been told not to watch by a bunch of people. Like, everyone was like, don't watch it, it's really upsetting. And I was like, okay, I won't. Uhm, and so I didn't. And then like a week ago, I was like, actually, why am I not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since when, since when did I not watch something based on someone telling me? Okay, the only other thing I haven't watched is The Human Centipede, do you know what I mean? Oh, don't watch that. I kind of, do you know what I mean? Like, that's a, feels like therapy. It's just terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the nutrition gets less and less, and they can't make it that far. That's part of the experiment, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a genuinely awful idea, something to consider, just genuinely bad. But on the other hand, this movie I watched is called Don't Fuck with Cats. It's like a documentary. Oh, I heard about that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watch a lot of this stuff. I watch a lot of like murder mysteries and sort of stuff of detective-y stuff and how people got caught.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] posting videos about him sort of hurting cats. Some of them, obviously there's some, some little bit of footage of some of them and it's quite unpleasant, um, obviously cause no one wants to see a little cat being hurt or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I didn't think it was all that bad actually, but what it did make me realise was a little bit of my vegetarian-y, vegan-y trigger. I was triggered, right? From the point of view of just being, I was kind of angry because people were so, so uptight


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About little cats being hurt, but they don't give a shit about stuffing their gobs full of like, really cheaply made meat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it feels like cruelty and casual animal cruelty is this thing which is just part of our world. Like pet shops, you know, are still a thing and puppy farms and all of these things, you know, cheaply sourced and smuggled in pets and animals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that was the argument that was given to me as well, and also that cats are pets, we don't eat cats, they're separate, and maybe because they're malicious and evil and thoughtful and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, even if you're said to peed it up, you'd still, you'd starve in, you'd eat like, you peed it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you reckon it's like fucking, when everything's new, when you're like a little kid or a baby, you know, you take like your kid to the zoo or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what it's like, cause everything's new, right? But actually, the animals and stuff, they've already seen those all in the books, they're boring. They're already boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great. Oh, fuck. Okay, no, sure. Uhm, I've, I've invited you two in, and, no. Which one's gonna be the front? No! So you two have moved in together. You're living together. Right. In, in a town called Buttermere, in Cumbria. And you've taken your, your lovely dog, your lovely doggo, out. Charlie and Theo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. You're going out for a walk with your lovely pooch. What's the name of your pooch? Uhm, Agnes. Agnes. What a name. The name of my gran, my 96 year old gran. See, it comes round. It comes round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so you're out on Red Pike, which is like a little moor, I guess, in Cumbria. Right. That's a thick fog. Okay. And Agnes, she scampers away from you, chasing a sock. She smells the sock, disappears into the fog. What's happening? What are you doing? Give me your reactions. I'm calling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How big is this hill? Quite big, yea. How thick is the fog? Well, sometimes they call that mountain rescue. Thogs are very thick. Thick fog. The thog is the thog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, you'd be lost like the dog as well and then we'd have to lure you back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember fucking SAS, seriously, cause when I was in cadets there was one camp that we were every year which was the SAS camp and it was like, the one which everyone was terrified of, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a lot of kids, innit? Yeah, we only had one combined, um, four. But I remember SAS Camp being an absolute, just a hellish weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I think the other, it's like, the way it is, it's a little bit like, not playing World of Warcraft, it's like playing Fallout Shelter or something, or where you've got like, your character, and the parents are playing the kid's character, right? They're like, the kid is our character, and we're gonna, cause they're the ones sewing the fucking badges on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, I mean it is. It's like this ritualised weird thing for adults and it's supposed to be, it's a different thing for everyone. It's for people who have real problems. The kids don't have problems. Like the kids don't want to think, ask divine power to pray for their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I used to go to Sunday school, which was like held in a little sort of shack next to the, next to the church. And, you know, it was fine. It was just like an activity thing to do in the mornings. You'd meet a different crowd of people. You'd be taught God stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it wasn't too, too bad. Like I remember though, have I ever told you about my Santa theory about this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I probably have. I found out that Santa wasn't real about the same time I was able, I realised that God probably wasn't real too. Right. Like, there was like, at the same, at the very- What a day! What a fucking day! What a fucking day that is by the way. The day I became a man. Double whammy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I obviously went to Sunday school and it was still very fresh in my mind, okay. Like, you know, I was like very shocked at this Santa lie that I'd been fed for a long time. And there were all these guys trying to teach me about Jesus. And at that point I was just like, and God and stuff, and this sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I also like, I linked that to God and I was like, well, look, if God is an old bearded man and he's magic, he's clearly not real either. And I wonder whether the rise of Santa has caused the downfall of people believing in God. Is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, who gets in with a bad crowd and joins a gang and accidentally, like shoots a gun and accidentally kills somebody. I like the idea that he can be redeemed and won't, you know, even, you know, will


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you everyone, that is, that is a podcast. Uh, we gotta, we gotta stop. Covered a wide range of subjects. Man, did we ever. But we're back! We're back on our, back with the bang!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tell him time and time again, don't do it, but he just goes and does it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. That's right, with me, Lewis, uh, your favorite, just a millennial, uh, PFLAX, uh, who is the world's truest boomer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Sips, who is probably uncategorizable, he just went and got his driving license renewed. That's right. Uh, congrats. Did you have to queue up at the DMV for like 12 hours?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, no, let's go with that. Start with that. Start with the interesting thought. I think that's what it is. This is like old man shower thoughts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, I think that that might be because you love, you've been playing Planet Zoo, I noticed, and whenever I tune into your stream, you are building a wall. There is some sort of wall being built, like an oriental wall, or a stone wall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't believe that you managed to like create something so, I mean, I don't know whether to put it down to them building really good tools.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I don't know. I think, I don't think about, uh, home decoration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mostly because home decoration is what you do once you have a tidy house. And I feel like my house, my place is like, my flat is always, there's always mess to clean up. So before I have like, you know, I have to pick up all the dirty clothes off the floor and put all the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're thinking about loft conversion. They're thinking about building a conservatory. They're thinking about, oh, maybe we should do another fence in the garden. Um, but you have to start from like a baseline, you know, there. You can't, I can't even hold the capacity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I saw a tweet from Duncan that he had like a flamingo or whatever in a pool of water and it died of dehydration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally in, uh, a pool of water. Yeah. He was complaining a bit about it, but he's been addicted to it too. So I suppose that's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It needs, it needs, it needs superfund, uh, to cover, like, sort out the site. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So no, I uhm, so I went on holiday, uhm, as a result I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have said, but to be in this, you have to have no microtransactions. Uhm, and, and so a lot of the games obviously were in development. Like people were making a mobile game and they were thinking, oh, how am I going to get this publicized? You know, what am I going to do? It's full of microtransactions. And they've had to like pull all that out at the last minute, but it's still got all of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're so like unfinished or like, like bad or like just really like, like base stock unity assets, um, or like weird like unfinished UI. And some of them are just like shit. Like one of them is called like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How is this a fucking, you know what I mean? It's like, how has that made it into Apple Arcade? You know, at least I thought it was going to be a little bit more premium than that. But they have obviously attracted


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some legitimate decent-ish games in there, and I've played a few that have been good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, is it not one of those cases where, I thought the story was going to go that you didn't find them all. Oh no, well we found them all. There was like one, there was one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like the chicken in the back seat, you know, classic, like just forgotten about or put a fish in someone's glove compartment, like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is like, if you wanted to take revenge on someone in that way, like I read a horrible one, which always gives me nightmares, which is like someone getting like a tub of like fish paste and then like just a paintbrush.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just painting it like, you know, in the, in the door cracks, you know, like behind the door in the hinges, you know, where you can't easily get to and like on the inside of plug sockets, you know what I mean? Like the kind of places where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, the FBI, like, unscrews when they're looking for, you know, drugs or something, you know, these, these like inside the panel, inside the fridge, you know, that you don't think it comes off the fridge door or whatever, but you can get it in there. You know, these kind of places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and they'll find it in the movie by like, they'll be like, they'll be with the detective like at the end of his tether and he's like drunk and he's like, and he knocks like the whiskey bottle, he's looking at himself in the bathroom mirror and he knocks the whiskey, or he punches the mirror and he punches his face and his face cracks and it knocks like a glass of water, a glass of whiskey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the thing I'm most looking forward to at Christmas actually is watching back like good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, okay. Good lord. A very, very, it's a one and done Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's such an excuse. Like, you just get em, just get em. Look, if you can get your kids to work, P-Flags, put em to work. Do you know what I mean? They're just hungry mouths. Oh, I put em to work, but they're fucking hopeless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think humans, I think we, we're just the same as lazy as them, but we've got better at hiding it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hang on a sec, let me just talk, let's talk about this for a second, cause this is some fucking real talk, right? I think, I had a shower thought this morning. Okay. Now this is a weird one, but because, partly because YouTube,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have come out finally with their announcement that if you are making videos aimed at kids, you need to check a little box that says you're doing that. And I, and obviously there's a bunch of reasons to do that, partly to protect kids from things, but also


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also been told to do on YouTube is to make your videos kid-friendly, right? Because if you make your videos kid-friendly it gets better ads, can't mention Hitler, can't say anything at all, can't say bad words because you get blocked so everyone should be making happy kids' videos and also so many kids watch YouTube that in fact


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is, it is like, an adult sees a pop-up ad, they won't click it, but a kid will. And so that, those, those things that are attractive to kids are what the algorithms push forwards, okay? And so that's why they said that, a little bit like how teenage girls used to drive the top


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess my shower thought is that, I guess like, when we were kids, like we had the Sears catalogue, the M&S brass section, you know, and we had maybe a dirty copy of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we were lucky, we had a copy of Daily Sport in the woods, or we fucking had somebody who had managed to get like some horrible like, like Dutch magazine with like some woman shoving candles up her vagina. You know, that was, that was it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was it. Do you know what I mean? You know, someone got it on a French trip or whatever. Do you know what I mean? It was like, it was, it came from the continent. I'm not saying we were like, it was censored, but it certainly wasn't in, it wasn't easy to get your hands on porn when we were kids, right? Or teenage, even teenagers. Like it was, it was tricky and the internet was really only dawning for us and you know, it wasn't really until...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But equally I feel like there's this, this, we're being told, we're constantly being told like that things are happening like kind of in the world, that obviously like, like in Japan, you know, men aren't interested in women because like, you know, and they- Well, if you look at their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got this generation growing up. I sound like a boomer. Okay, I do here. But I guess like I'm interested because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it does make me feel detached now I'm a bit older from what kids grew up with today. And you know, we've had, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ten years of internet porn, that's like a whole generation of kids growing up with very, uh, access to, you know, stuff on their phones that, you know, we could only dream of back in, you know, when we were teenagers. And they can get it a lot younger than us. Like, you know, there's kids, I was thinking, you know, this morning about like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I was clicking around about something and some guy died, and I was like, oh, I wonder what that disease is, and I clicked on it, and I was like, aahhh! Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I dunno, I was like seven or eight or something and my mum had these like medical grade textbooks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not traumatic, but certainly like, like, like unpleasant and it affects, it didn't affect me. I remember it now. I don't know if it hurt me or anything. I'm fine now. Kids are very resilient, et cetera. But like, I'm just, you know, I think that I read this whole bunch of stuff about self-improvement and I, I don't really watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to, well there's a series of guidelines for squeezing the hog, you know, it's a heavy goods vehicle, so you need to ensure you've got, you know, got the correct safety equipment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, first of all, uhm, some people are circumcised. Wow. Uhm, yeaah. So, you know, you gotta consider that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a lot of shoutouts today. You need to discipline that. What's wrong with prune cocktail? What? What's not wrong with prune cocktail?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's just my personal belief that anyone who likes pro cocktail is probably going to be a serial killer in the future. I love it. So watch yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? And it must've, must've come from somewhere. Like they, they probably had a traumatic experience that led them down that path, an untreated mental disorder. Um, or they're just a, a nan. Like, do you know what I mean? They're, they're old before their time. Is your daughter like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does she sometimes, does she like knitting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not, no one should be fisting their crisp packets, you know, grab a fistfuls of crisps. That's madness. I don't get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you offer someone a bag and they put their fist in there and grab a hat, like a five, like a popcorn fistful of, I mean, a popcorn fistful is fine in the cinema. Like if you're grabbing someone else's popcorn, you're having like a lot. But even that's rude, right? That's rude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's yours and you're sharing it, maybe you can do that and then you can hold your, you can eat it out of your hand for a while, you know? Uhm, but straight from the fist to the mouth? No. I don't get it. I mean, who eats like that? Is that a search term? A popular search term? Fist to mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, it's like the fucking, it's like the big gulp, right? It's just a way to get people to eat more of your product and pay more of it under the guise that you're gonna share it with someone, but actually you're just gonna eat the whole fucking thing yourself. Do you know what I mean? No one's sharing no fucking grab bags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grab these fish. No, but it's a sherry bag. That's the point. It sounds like it's, it's got this illusion of sharing, you know, whereas actually it's just more greed, fatness. It's like ex king size, you know? Do you feel like a king now you're eating a king size one? No, just fatter. Do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went on holiday, but I'm not telling people where I went. I've told a few people, I want to see how soon it gets out where I was on holiday. Because it wasn't anywhere weird or anything, it was just fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You left the country though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to a nice place. It was nice. It was sunny. Really sunny. Anyway. Portugal. Uh, went to... Close. He went...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the forbidden fruit. I think maybe that's it. I'm just trying to rationalise it because I find, I don't like the idea that all those people out, like that search term, I can understand


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The pervs, all the nerds, Overwatch, that's the other one as well. Obviously that's largely played by kids and stuff like this, and it's like Hentai, I think it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's an idea that so many people are kind of into something repulsive and I'm just trying to rationalise it and say, okay, who is this, where is this coming from? And the answer is, the people who control the internet! That's right, teenagers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And often abroad they have a very laissez faire attitude towards if you're a vegetarian or a vegan. Okay. You can, you can tell them and they'll usually be able to give you something. Um, but I'm really more of a, when I'm on holiday, I just don't want to not die of nuts. Like I had a couple of times when.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually did have allergic reactions to nuts. Like there was a thing where a guy brought me a smoothie and it was like, I had like a banana, strawberry, and I think it was like avocado or something smoothie, right? And I was like, okay, that sounds weird, but I'll have it, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I drank it and then I started to get really itchy and I knew immediately I'd eaten some nuts and I couldn't figure out what it was. It turned out that he'd used walnut milk in it and I was like, the fuck is walnut milk? Like, where did you even get that from? He just said nut milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think he basically, I think, I think he, it was just milk and he put, I think he put nuts in it, walnuts in it, just in the smoothie, just hadn't told me. So that was one time. And then there was another time, like uhm. So what happened? Did you break out in hype?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, yeah, a little bit. I got really, really itchy throat, it's like, it's like, slightly awkward feeling, it's like really, like heartburn and stuff. Anyway, it was horrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so that's one thing that happened. It happened again when I had some like churros or something, which I shouldn't really have anyway because they're like made with butter, but you know, fuck it. I'm not one of these guys who's gonna not eat anything or just eat a fucking banana or be a bitch about it. If someone like brings me food, there's this thing about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If someone brings me some food and it's wrong, I'm going to be like, sure, I'll fucking, I'll, I'll eat it or whatever. I'm not going to order more. I'm not going to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Faff around. I'm usually going to be okay with it. Anyway, this thing happens. I was in a sushi restaurant, which I like. I like sushi because you can get vegetarian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sushi. And Japanese food generally is very easy to go vegan on, right? Because it's just rice and vegetables or like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you can get like edamame beans, you know, you can get like a bunch of stuff, like just some, some, some leaves in some fucking soy sauce. It's a piece of piss, right? Usually for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I ordered like this vegetarian sushi and it was like, you know, it was like a sushi section. So it was like, you know, I'd seen someone else on one of the other tables have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And obviously I was ordering it in the menu in Spanish and I sort of pointed at it and said, I vaguely pointed at it and said vegetarian sushi to the guy and he obviously didn't understand me. And anyway, what I got brought was, which I found out when I got the bill later, was actually the modern sushi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, now they were like, so on the menu, I remember there was like vegetarian sushi, traditional sushi and modern sushi. And it used to be that I would eat like these sushi sort of selections, right? You go, cause we used to go out with humble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sometimes you can still do, um, and they have like an omakase, which means kind of chef's choice. It doesn't actually mean that sort of means we'll cook, but anyway, it's the thing that they bring you a selection of whatever they, the chef's recommendation. And you remember Sipsk, we went to Vegas and we had a Vegas omakase, which was in a sushi place there and they bought this incredible plate of sushi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had a bowl of rice. We had loads of crazy stuff and you just had a bowl of rice and it was funny as fuck and we all laughed about it a lot of the time. But I actually remember that being a little bit gross. Okay. Now here's the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember going to sushi restaurants and all the time I really liked the experience of eating, but the fancier it is, the grosser it gets, okay? And I've had this experience so many fucking times and I sort of came to a realisation


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The food they were bringing me was just unpleasant. Like, like, and the same thing when you go to like a fancy French or English restaurant, they bring you stuff like the most fancy food in the world. Okay, let's just pick the two most expensive fancy foods in the world, caviar and oysters, both of which


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Immediately turn my stomach, just the thought, and even before I was like a vegetarian, I just, they're very strong, very fishy, like, like slimy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking caviar, or also some of these things that they make at like posh restaurants, like sweet meats and things like this, which are like fucking basically...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The internal organs of fucking birds or some shit like fucking deep fried in the fucking jism of a fucking ostrich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Waterland, I mean exactly, like, like, or like a century egg, or like, do you know what I mean, any of these things that are just, just honestly like the, and it's a scale, like, I guess it must be this thing with like fancy food anyway. I went, I, I, I had this, this, this sushi, modern sushi, and for the life of me,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had, I've had sushi all over the world. I've been to Japan. I've been to fucking Vancouver. I've been to San Francisco. These are all like pretty fancy places and I've been to some fancy places with some fancy people. It's been nice. I've had a nice time. I've had a nice experience. But the idea of bond sushi, okay, was like a little, a little nigiri, um, rice roll thingy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why shit you not, the other two in this modern sushi selection were two more pieces of rice, with two-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, you could not have like, fucking misfired more on, on, on, on anything. It was wild. Ugh, oh man, so, so that's- Sorry, I gotta, I gotta question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Yeah. Which a lot of people do. Why would you? What really set it off for me, this sushi, was that they just handed me a knife and fork, as well. Like, as they put the plate down, they handed me a knife and fork, and I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just sort of looked up at it. Like, I was so stunned. I couldn't, I couldn't process it. Um, it was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It floored me. It was like one of those times where I like, I laughed in disbelief, right? And sometimes I was watching this thing on fucking Netflix. I watched a lot of these criminal things, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find it very hard to find things to watch with other people. You know, we certainly, when you like, when like, you know, tips you're coming over tonight, you know, and if we were trying to watch something on Netflix, it would be like, have you seen this? Oh yeah, I watched that. It was good. I was like, okay, have you seen this? And you're like, uh, no. And I'm like, well, I have, it's quite good. And do you know what I mean? You'll go through between you, you'll find absolutely fuck all to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, it's, it's basically this thing where he is, uh, this American guy who lived in America as like an auto worker for like 30 years in relative peace, um, and tranquility and got a family who loved him and stuff. And then they found out from this sort of.