[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I never got on in any, any job I ever had was, I would be fine with most of my colleagues, no problem, get on with them really well. But the person in charge, the person that you gotta take orders from, that always burned me up, man. I can't stand it. I can't stand it! I'm a free spirit! This burn was not meant to be caged!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there's not, and I want to make a Bodega announcement. There aren't going to be any more on the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think maybe we should be more aggressive. I think it should be like, hey, mate, listen to the Triforce podcast or else you're gonna get glassed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yours is a little bit more elaborate. I really like that P-Flex. If you could add some piano to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't, doesn't rhyme though, does it? I mean the whole point of it is that it rhymes. I, I feel like any song or poem or jingle has to rhyme, right? That's just my thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got this. So, last week we were away. We missed the podcast last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, so we met, uhm, some people, me and Terz met some people from Valve at GDC and we were talking about Jingle Jam and what we'd been, uhm, doing and they were kind of very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, now it's gone, it's gone very silent in here, okay. Very silent, because obviously P-Flex works with Valve. Everybody's concentrating on not breaking an NDA rule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we, we, we basically met them at GDC and they were like, we'd like to talk to you guys more about, you know, stuff, the jingle jam and stuff like this. And also just generally, if you're there, it'll be good, if you're coming up, it'd be good to talk to you and have you talk to some of the teams about what you do. Because basically when we were talking to people at Valve, it was clear that they were very, very smart people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The dumbest questions in the world. Okay. And then they would answer them. They'd just be like, oh, that's easy. I can tell you that straight away. And we'd be like, ah, that's how that thing works. Amazing. They would ask us a question and it would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Creators and steam curators and professional podcasters. We had a lot of answers for them and they had a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sort of said, if we can get, um, some sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Help with the jingle jam, that would be great, and I think that's what we got. So I think overall, good trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we also, we also saw some stuff that we can't talk about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and that's it really, that's all we can say. I don't really want to talk too much about Valve, because people-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're in Bellevue, but they've got, uhm, they've only been there I think a couple of years in the office that they're at at the moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so yeah, I mean it's, it's, it's very, very nice. Really, really nice place. Yeah. I mean Valve is, is, is always, everyone's always talked about Valve because they're kind of very secretive. They're very mysterious. They're very, I guess like the North Korea of game design. They're very close to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy crap, no, absolutely everyone there was wonderful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this is the thing, like talking to everyone at Valve, they're not like isolationist or like shy or like kind of like secretive necessarily. They are very much open, but it's kind of not there because they don't have sort of very fixed roles. It's all very kind of, you can kind of do what you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't really have any sort of a greed way of talking to people and as a result


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole process is that, you know, if you want to talk to people about what you're doing and stuff, you could do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but other people might not be happy with the, with you doing that at the company. And so I don't know necessarily, I think what it leads to is that it's no one's job really to sort of do that. And so as a result of the culture, it kind of becomes what appears to be kind of quite unapproachable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're there, like, against a wall with like two cushions, like, strapped to it. Ohhhh. Just feel them. Uh, so no, so, I think, yeah, like you said, it's a bit of an evolution. I think that Valve has existed for a long time and they've found that they just don't need, like, these certain things or, I mean, I think Valve works because it's, partly because it's been going on for such a long time, partly because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They kind of don't have to do anything, but they like to and they want to sort of do stuff. They come into work and they're like, oh, what should I work on today? Ah, let's work on this, this cool thing that's going to be really good and do that. And I think as a result, some things fall by the wayside, but as a result, you get these incredibly innovative, creative things coming out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it that came out of that? Was it, was it Gmail or was it Google Drive or something? Is there some famous thing at Google that was very successful came out of these Fridays where people were just like, I'm just going to do what I want to do today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you can get robots to do that job. Exactly. If you've got jobs where you might as well be replaced by a robot, then there's no point. But if you've got jobs that require a quarter of a brain, then you know, people are smart and a really valuable resource and they're often like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found it working here that, you know, it's worth investing in people because they'll pay you back in the ways that you don't expect. You know, you can't look at someone and say, oh, you know, I pay him 30 K so he better make me 50, 50 K of dildos that I can shift on fucking, you know, dildos.com forward slash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So no, it was really, really interesting and I kind of don't want to say any more about it other than like, I think it was a little bit culture shock for me to go there, right? Because it was so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though we have a sort of similar structure in our office, i.e. a lot of uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but also we don't have any managers, we don't have any bosses either, particularly other than me and Terps, and Terps is almost never here, and I don't know any answers, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's kind of, well he's meekly schmoozing. Watching superhero movies by himself. He's playing Hearthstone, no. Terps is busy doing 101 things, like, you know, so, and- He always seems busy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd love to share some of the little anecdotes we've got, but you know, we like walking around and seeing some of these people, asking what they're working on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I have one guy tracking down, you know, Chinese key resellers and shutting them down or, you know, like, you know, it's kind of like, I think they, sometimes it looks to me like they're just having fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like, you know, it seems like a really, really good, it's a really good environment to like foster creativity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the big problem with Valve though is that the work that you expect to be done sometimes isn't done though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like, you know, well that's out now though, isn't it? It is out now. Don't they have valve time or whatever? Ready when it's ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shut up, Sips. I think it's true though. I mean, I can see like, we stopped doing it because it was, it had to be up to a certain standard, right? And it was like, became this incredible


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like weight around our neck. And everyone who originally was passionate about it had moved on to two other things that they were passionate about. And they'd gotten tired of making this, this thing. And so I was left on my own thinking, okay, how do I get people to do this? And the only answer really is to find people who are passionate about it and want to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so it was, it was our YouTube series that we did back in the day in Minecraft and it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it was kind of all scripted in a sense. Like we had, we had a lot of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coming in and playing as almost actors in game. So originally like it was kind of like this thing where we had other people of our friends playing as characters and it was kind of like we created this kind of living world with a story in it that Simon didn't know anything about what was happening. So it was a little bit like doing D&D, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was, this was like, you know, seven or eight years ago now, but every time I go to an event, every time anyone meets me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anytime I open a piece of fan mail, it's like, when's, you know, how, what happened to Shadow Wiz for, where's the next episode of Shadow Wiz for coming out? It's one of these things that I feel, I feel kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seven years now since, since we did that. You know how?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about our new audience? Are they going to remember it? Are they going to play it? Like with Valve, like, you know, how many people are you going to meet that have never played Half-Life 2? And, you know, didn't grow up with Half-Life 2 like we did. How many people have come along since then? And also, is this still a thing on YouTube that works?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this narrative Minecraft content gonna be what people are interested in seeing? Probably not, you know. So, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if, if, if Valve were to release, you know, episode three of Half-Life 2 or whatever, or if they were to release, you know, if they would start working on Half-Life 3, where would they start? Like how would it be like a kind of a thing that they could, could, think about how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Much pressure and demand there is to get it right, you know, when you're a company like Valve and you've got this incredibly high standard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much polish does it need? And, and, and, you know, you know, I can imagine like for us, like when we, when we, if I was to try and make our thing, which is nothing compared to it, right, nothing, you know, it needs talented coders and stuff and I'm just an idiot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it, it, it's, it's a very daunting task in my mind to, to try and do shadow of this film, which is why I haven't done it. And so, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you may, you may well laugh, Sips, that, that, you know, I'm trying to compare myself to the most successful games company of one of them all time. But he is!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Infinity War is the last, like what, the last one, but a sort of a very, a much set up, relying on the last sort of 20 films for you to get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I haven't seen that Thor Ragnarok. He hasn't seen Thor, any of the Thor. He hasn't seen any of the Iron Man. He hasn't seen the new Spider-Man. He hasn't seen Black Panther. I don't think you've seen a single one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it was pretty rough. I feel like, um, I feel like the movie was a little bit like a slash who would ask who would win. Do you know what I mean? Like, I think that when you smush all these people together, it's like, oh, who's, who's most powerful?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, they've leaned into the comedy sort of aspect of it because it's done, done really well. I mean, Thor Ragnarok is a great example of a, basically just a comedy superhero movie, really. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just really funny throughout, and really fun. I mean, yeaah, they, they do continually reboot these things in different ways. I mean, just, I can, I mean, Spiderman's, like, rebooted like six or seven times, you know, it feels like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little bit like the kids growing up with it though, like I feel like, like that happened to Harry Potter as well, right, as the Harry Potter movies, um, and, and,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To start with Harry Potter, because the first ones are maybe a little bit too young and the last ones maybe a bit too old, you know, and it's so, so reading the series is kind of, they don't really have a very consistent tone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That doesn't mean you can't enjoy this stuff. We've been through this stuff. Just cause you like Star Wars, don't you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, a lot of grown-ass men are, and they complain when their Star Wars, new Star Wars movies are a bit kid-friendly. They're like, oh. Yeah, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you, did you see that solo, the new Star Wars movie? I've seen the trailer, yea, yea. And have you seen, uh, Donald Glover's new music video thing? I've seen it, yea. I saw that too, yea. This is America. This is America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I saw it last night and I was like, I was just blown away. I just, he's just, he's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, man, really good. Just hit more, like, sweaty and fucking running around. Man, I was thinking- You liked that, did you? Yeah, I liked it. And so, I mean, that's maybe, weirdly, I think he's the only thing I'm excited for in the new Star Wars movie. He's cool. I mean, he's multi-talented.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, I guess Dan Harmon's doing Rick and Morty and stuff, you know, so that's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it I saw Alice Sabrina? I think I saw her in The Post. The Washington Post movie, The Post. It's good. I quite enjoyed that. Sweet. Good God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's supposed to be sort of a parody of the Johnny Cash movie biopic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Walk the line. Walk the line. Yeah. It's funny. It's good. But John C. Reilly is, is very hit and miss, I think. A lot of his stuff feels like- He's fucking-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was, that was quite fun. It was very English, very much like, very, yeah, good though, good English.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People still watch it. I mean, I boot up Netflix, right? And I have, what's it called, where you have, you have too much choice, right? And you can't pick anything. Oh, that's, that is just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I wish, I mean, I wish Netflix was better, organized and kind of clearer. And I can see why they've added the sort of the trailers thing that autoplay to kind of get you into a series. Because although I hate that, I also understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That maybe helps to overcome that overchoice scenario of, and apparently the way you're supposed to overcome it is, um, like it's like if you're, if you're taking your girlfriend out or whatever and you're like, oh, where shall we go?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that's kind of like too vague a question and also too much choice. So you need to bring it down to like two or three choices.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've, I've been playing a lot of these, um, VR games on Steam, uh, you know, with, uh, and girlfriend simulators and stuff, you know, just making sure, just practicing, just getting a bit of practice here. Right. Yeah, of course. Yeah. End up with, hopefully one day, fingers crossed, the real thing. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But having the steam reviews is legitimately a really good way of actually telling me whether a game is bad or not, right? Because usually I look at something, if it's like very positive or overwhelming positive, I'm like, I'm probably just going to buy it straight away. And then I scroll down and if there's a guy with like 2000 hours in the game and he's like, it's like a funny comment, like, you know, yeah, this game made


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, that is, that is, that is more often than you think, because people are so, they're so invested again, they love a game so much. Like, we, we with WoW, they were incredibly critical of it, and as a result, they, a patch change comes along, they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If Netflix had some sort of steam style, even if it was just a link to fucking IMDB or something that told me, because the Netflix star rating system means that I look at a movie and I'm like, oh, is this going to be terrible or not? And then I have to get my phone out, I have to look it up and it's like four out of ten stars and I'm like, oh fuck me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The star rating is to do with whether it should be appropriate for you based on your viewing history, rather than any kind of measurement of whether the movie's good or not. And as a result, I've watched such a lot of wank on Netflix, like, that I just thought, fuck me, that was a complete waste of my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas I'm sure there's something really good on there that I've never heard of because it's not got good ratings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five out of ten? Are you fucking shitting me? Is this your film recommendation for people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crap. I'm saying it's okay. That's why it gets a 5 out of 10. It's not really worth watching. If you wanna watch it, go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're back. We always, we always apologize, right, for not doing podcasts or missing a week, but we don't have to because this is part of the understanding of the podcast that we're going to miss a week. We're not even going to be around next week because I'm in Gamescom. Well, I might be able to remote from Gamescom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmm, I mean the Witcher 3 I felt was very long, and that, I completed that in 50 hours. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because a lot of these games, the story is often secondary, but RPGs, you have to have the story up front and center, good. And I think that by trying to fill up empty owls or trying to hit an arbitrary cat, you end up with a lot of crappy story getting in there and that kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Deflates the whole thing. I think you're right, but I think something short will be good. But the other thing that I really noticed, okay, that this is the one, the one thing that really jumps out of the survey is when they start talking about co-op.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Multiplayer, right? So here, how much do you value these features in an RPG? Okay? So story rich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, basically, everyone said very important. Okay, it's like 90% very important. Uhm, tactical combat, people didn't care, they were like moderately, they were like in the middle on that one. Character progression, massively very important to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's very difficult to, the other thing that we found when we were playing together was that we were never reading any story, we were never sort of stopping at one pace, we were almost always dictated by other people's pace, and their pace usually was more, more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes it wasn't, sometimes you wanted to be slow and sometimes they wanted to be slow, but you were never quite in sync, um, because you're different people and you're interested in slightly different things and different ways in that RPG.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy's here, this guy's here, these things are gonna go off. You kind of, you have to know who's playing and what to, what to predict and what to expect. And you only really get that from playing the game. True.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you have there though, if you have a real expert, that's fine, but I think that sometimes Dota, especially even the pros and all the experts,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, don't see everything and, you know, it's because that it all happened so quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sometimes they get it wrong. I mean, I imagine that's one of the worst things about being a commentator, is that going onto Twitter or Reddit and just seeing things you've missed. It's like, oh shit, actually yeah, this is, oh my god, this guy's right, this guy's right. And I think that they have to kind of, they have to be, these guys have to be confident enough, convincing enough that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In, in their own stuff. They can't be, they can't be unsure about themselves. And I think having three people to discuss that and bounce off. If, if they have a consensus, fucking fantastic. But I don't know, I don't know if you're gonna, if they'll be as comfortable if there aren't extra voices. And also, we know what it's like, P-Flax, to have extra voices there. It's very useful because, you know, it means that someone is always waiting to jump in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So let's move on from Dota. Uhm, what have you guys been up to otherwise? You got any like real life stories?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so, um, Kurt, um, Sips' son, uh, sent me some art that he did. And he sent me art before. Man, he's getting really good at art. I was very impressed with it. So I was like, can you send me some more? And he sent me a whole pack of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 things he's drawn. It's like 20 pages of stuff. And so I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn, this is, this is some, some serious, some serious time has gone into this. I feel kind of bad, like, you know, I need to, I need to return, like, it's like, if someone texts you, um, like a selfie of themself, right, or something like this,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost like automatic that you wanna, that you, you have to reply with a selfie. I don't know, maybe that's just me. But if someone does so for you, you have to kind of like do stuff back, right? It's kind of a, that's how things are. So I feel like I need to do some art to send back to your son. So I bought a canvas, like a couple of canvases, half price.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I bought like a starter pack of oil paints. Sure. Uh, so I'm gonna paint something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sips, I'm garbage, like, you know, but, but your son is so, so open to like just doing anything, it made me think, damn, you know, if he's willing to give it go, I should be willing to give it go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think you've got this all wrong, guys. Look, if he comes in, right, and he's like, oh, you're like, oh, you've done a painting, good for you, come and see. And you watch the awkward interaction as he presents it to your wife. You just let him dig his own grave. There's no, he's not gonna suddenly like sweep her off her feet and she goes, oh Todd!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever drawn anything or been artistic in any way? Or ever? I'm not bad at art. I'm okay. Okay. I can hold my own. What kind of things have you done lately or ever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm keeping much more in terms of like, for me it's all about like, just, just taking up dumb ideas. Like, like, I've been to a lot of modern art galleries, okay, because I've had, I don't know, I've just ended up doing it and I feel like I've been to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A clergyman, a priest, a priestman in English. A preacher man. And he used to be a sort of molecular biologist and the reason he went back to, he had this sort of story about the reason he sort of, after being a scientist he went back to religion was because there were certain things that, that science couldn't explain, right, and one of them was uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, actually I quite like that and I don't know why. I find that beautiful or interesting or pleasurable to look at and I don't know why. Uhm, so I sort of, I feel like I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've, I've, I don't know, it's just, I hate portraits, I hate portrait galleries, I hate like some of these realistic things and landscapes and I hate a lot of the tat where it's like my unmade bed or you know some of that gibberish or like half a cow stored in a piece of plexiglass. Like, I'm not a big fan of all that crap but sometimes-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in a way, like, as I've grown older, and this may sound totally weird, but I have found that I quite enjoy the feeling of little bit of kind of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get beer like, I think the stronger beers, like, I'm not a fan of like, ales and stuff, but again, I can drink one and be like, mmm, I wonder why I don't really like this, but I, I like it in the same, in the sense, like, they're, they're very quiet tastes and people don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the past 20 years I have been responding thank you to a thank you card that was originally sent to me in 1931 and every year since


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi everybody. Welcome back to the Triforce Podcast this week. I'm sick. You're sick. I'm getting sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well no way. He's a grinder for sure. He's in a lot of movies. Some good, some bad. Some more notable than others. Right. Ghost Dog Way of the Samurai. That's a good movie. That's meant to be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He bathed in horse semen in printer ink. That's what they all, all the celebs do that though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I like this place so much, I'm gonna buy the whole place. How much is it worth?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I rate him, I think he's like a good actor and stuff, but I guess, I guess if you have out of control spending habits and maybe drug addictions and stuff, I feel like a lot of them spend money on drugs, whether it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the shortcut mentality though, right? It's like, you make a little bit of money and you convince yourself that you've arrived, but you also need to convince everybody else that you have as well. So you go out with like the 50 grand that you made, uhm, and you spend it all on a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it looks really nice and everybody's really impressed and then they realize like after a while that you're driving like in the evening when you say you're going home to like a phone booth and sleeping in there because all you have is a very fancy car and nothing else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I sleep in the back of the truck and I do my toilet in the back of the truck and I brush my teeth inside in the truck. I eat all my meals in the truck and nobody else wants to come in the truck because I live in the truck and it stinks and I'm weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a weird one because I think like, like in, in his, like in his case, like, yeah, he probably does spend a lot of money on stuff, but he probably, there's probably a lot of opportunities for him to not spend money as well. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I got my first job, I was about, I must have been about 15 years old, I guess, when I got my first job. Like, it was a part-time job after school, like a couple of nights a week, weekends, like for a couple of hours as well. And it was alright. And uhm, with my first paycheck,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a lot of people that I went to school with and that, you know, I worked with and stuff around that age were, I guess at that age, maybe a bit more responsible than me. They learned how to drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they bought themselves like a car, not like most, most of the time it was like a second hand car. You see, like back, back when I was younger, people used to buy Honda Civics because they were like ultra customizable and that was like a thing, so people...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People would get like a second hand civic and then they would spend money doing it up if that was their thing or whatever and that was fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember every time I got paid, like, I would spend


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, all of my money was gone, like instantly. But like, I didn't make that much because it was a really crappy part-time job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, I don't know, like I, like I think in my, like when I was, when I, when I got a bit older and I had a proper job and I lived on my own, I was like much more responsible with money sort of thing, but like, early on, fuck I was terrible. Like, I know, like I wasn't like Johnny Depp, like a millionaire spending money and stuff, but man, you can see like how easily you could do it, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a weird way it was like that when I was young and working. Cause like, cause I got paid every week. So I was just like, ah fuck I'm never gonna run out of money. And every week I was fucking broke, like within seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try the flip side though, if you're getting paid once a week, you'd have to keep money aside every week to save up for like your big bills, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you got paid every week, you'd have to set money aside, like to pay, cause in the states, you might get paid once a week, but you probably only pay your mortgage once a month, right? Like, so like you'd probably have to put some money aside every week to say, okay, I need this for the mortgage. It's going to come out on the 14th or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the same time, you need those experiences too, right? Like, if you never have a job, like in your teenage years and you, you know, you, you finished school, you've never worked, you go to like, um, higher education, you're still not working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you do all that, you graduate or whatever, you still haven't worked. It's gonna be a real shock when you finally do start making like some money for yourself and stuff like that. Like I feel like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I have no debt, honestly, like a mortgage, that's it, that's the only actual like debt I have or whatever. But like I don't have, I don't have like a credit card bill, like we barely use our credit card, like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we, we use it like if we need to, uhm, you know, and it's usually to pay for stuff like in advance, you know, like if, if we're planning on going on a vacation, we have to like rent a car or something like that. We, we, we'll pay for that on a credit card and then just pay it off like over the course of between paying for it and then going on the vacation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like sometimes people are like really smart, okay? Like academically, they're brilliant and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they lack common sense. Like, in things that, like, just very simple things seem to, like, evade them somehow, okay? But they're like, you know, they're like smart people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you said, she was like, she was really intelligent. You know, she had this like really good job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She, she was really well-schooled in everything. She was like super like advanced in her field and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she just could not fucking handle her finances, like, at all. It was, it was, it was just stupid. It was like, it must, like, I know how people feel, like, watching me play video games now. Like, I was actually facepalming the entire time. It's like, how the fuck are you so stupid? Like, what are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you're a smart person, why are you letting this happen to yourself? And she just could not fucking get a grasp on it. She was just like, I don't know, there was just like something in her brain that prevented her from grasping the concept.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was infuriating to watch though because it was so, so easy to fix the situation and she was just incapable of doing it. She was just like so... I don't know what it was. She was just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had this, uhm, we had this system at my high school. We had, uh, vending machines, like coke machines. And, uhm, what you could do is you could go into the office and you could say to the lady in the office, you could say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, I just tried to buy a Coke from the Coke machine and it ate my dollar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I be refunded? And she'd be like, yeah, sure, just fill out this form or whatever. They had like a whole form, it was like this huge procedure, okay? So the people that came to fill up the vending machine could like track like, you know, if it was faulty or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you go in, you get your dollar, and then you can either just go to the drinks machine and get a free drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was a D average student. Thanks to Metal Slug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god. I went to visit somebody in the hospital one time. It was my, um, my, my wife's great uncle. He was in the hospital. He was in a pretty bad way and he was in this room with a bunch of other people. It was like a ward. There was like six beds in the ward, I guess. So we went in to see him and, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To, to visit him. And holy shit man, there was like some other people in there, like there was this one guy who was just like the most jaundiced person I've ever seen in my life. He was so fucking yellow, and he was just like laying in his bed like moaning and groaning and stuff, and oh god, it was horrible. Fuck me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of hours surgery, like we, we had to take my daughter to out of hours uhm, one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The joke of it all as well is when you finally do get in to see the doctor, he's on a fucking strict time limit. He can only see you for like two minutes or whatever because he's just got a fucking gigantic schedule of patients he needs to see that day. Like I went to see the doctor a couple of weeks ago and I went in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, see you later I guess then. Like thanks, you know, I was like kinda concerned, but you haven't really put my mind at ease, but I guess it's nothing to worry about, I suppose. Like ah, fuck me, it was just like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god. We got like our own system over here, uhm, where we have to like, so if I go visit the GP, I gotta pay. But my kids don't have to pay. Like, up until a certain age, they're covered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but then anything to do with the hospital, if I had to go in and get like a treatment or a surgery or like what, like when my wife gave birth to the children or whatever, that was all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was all covered, like we didn't get any sort of bill for that. Uh, prescriptions are covered as well, they're free, we don't have to pay for them. It's just basically just to visit the doctor you have to pay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. How much alcohol do you drink in a week would you say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Might be a cholesterol thing. Might be like- It ain't no cholesterol thing. You might have some fucking like slimy ass clumpy cholesterol clogging up your-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well let me know when you go flax, we'll coordinate it, we'll go together. It just can't be on, it can't be on the 27th, because that's my daughter's birthday, but I think, I think everyone's going to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The last one I went on, we went to Amsterdam. We stayed in a hostel in the red light district and that was crazy. It was really fun though. I would love to do it again, but like it's just the older you get and the more responsibilities you have, it's like harder to carve out that time and justify it and coordinate everybody as well. So it's like, oh my God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I, did I ever tell you guys on the topic of finding a shit, uhm, did I ever tell you guys the story about the time, uh, a homeless guy shit in my grandma's lobby?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. Okay, so like, my, my brother, my younger brother is re-is about six years younger and when we were younger we would go to visit my grandma who lived like downtown, okay, she lived in like a 12 story apartment building.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Downtown. We'd go down every once in a while, like our parents, my, our parents would drop us down there to like, you know, spend the day or sometimes we'd like sleep over and stuff. We were very young. I was like 12 and he was like 6 or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, one day we were there and it was kind of cold outside because it was Ottawa, so it was like, you know, minus 30 or whatever. Uhm, but we wanted to go buy some magazines. There's like this magazine store up the road. So I got my brother and I said, come on, let's go buy some magazines. He's like, okay, fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Walk up the road to, to the, to the magazine store or whatever, and then we get our stuff, we come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just as we're like entering like the lobby, uh, to like my grandma's apartment building, we had to like buzz. We didn't have a key. So we had to like, there's like this huge like panel with all the buzzers and you like buzz and she could let you up sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm looking for like the, the button to press to buzz and then all of a sudden this like overwhelming smell of shit just hits me. I was like FUCK!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was crazy. I was like, I turned to my brother, I was like, fuck, did you shit your pants? Or like, what's going on? Did you fart? And he was like, no. And he just like mortified. I was like, what's going on? He points at the floor, and we looked down, and there was like this gigantic


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It had streaks of blood in it and everything, and we were just like, fuck me. And so what it was is like, because it's so cold over there, uhm, and these lobbies are like open and they're heated in most cases, uh, homeless people often times just come in and they sit in like in the lobbies to warm up or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this, this guy obviously did that and then decided to like, just shit on the floor as well. And, and leave. Like we didn't see the perpetrator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The common sense factor. That's the problem nowadays. Not enough people possess common sense. So that's why they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dogs aren't even really allowed to do that. Why would a human be allowed to do it? Like, it's stupid. That doesn't make any sense. Like, we live in a society where there's rules, and one of those rules that's unspoken most of the time is just don't fucking take a shit on somebody's lawn. Like, it's disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And clear your fucking debt too while you're at it for fuck's sake. So I don't want you coming back next week to this podcast with seven grand of credit card debt, okay? I'm watching. I'm paying you time watching you, okay? So fucking sort it out, okay? Jeez. Alright. Bye. Love you everyone. Bye. Thanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the thing that counts is steps, what the hell is that thing? I did 11,000 steps today and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you, do you, um, find yourself using street language like, like number one bae? I consider that to be the young people's language of today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it's because you can't see the faces of the people that you're talking to, right? And so, like, sometimes when, you know, I'm sat in a livestream room or something, playing a game, or next to someone, you know, they'll sometimes look at me sideways and, you know, and it'll be like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can hear the tone of voice and stuff, it's different. But they're always a little bit formal as well, like even this conversation, because you kind of have to, you kind of have to, sometimes, sometimes, language


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always limited, okay? Like, the context and complexity, it's massive. You know, it's like, in Italy, you know, you can't learn Italian without learning all the hand movements, for example, you know, because Italians gesture and gesticulate and do this wild stuff and it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very important when you actually see Italians speaking that you also see their hands, um, because it's part of the language. And that's because the more complexity, the better, really, because it helps you to convey exactly how you're feeling. You know, if you're seeing someone talk and they've got this expression on their face, then you think, okay, I can understand way more about what's happening here, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Find your own new thing. I'm terribly sorry to say your nan's gone into hospital again. LOL. LOL. From mum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but I think that it's a kind of, that is a bit of a joke of that she's out of touch kind of thing with modern lingo and I think that those jokes are always going to work. I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you end up finding is when you get a community of people who speak the same language, if you like, they're going to, you're going to understand what monk ass is and stuff. And you're going to, you're going to understand it kind of what it does is it acts in a way to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stop other people from entering that group necessarily. You know, they're, they're, they're gonna have to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're kind of not one of your clan, if you like. You know what I mean? It's not exactly hiding it from the police or anything. Uhm, but it certainly kind of helps to form this kind of companionship amongst people. Because I think everyone is, does watch a lot of Twitch. They type a lot of emotes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, they know what these are. It's, it's, it's not a bad thing. Do you think like, gifts are like, another thing that... Gifts, you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think women are more on edge than men though. I think men are like fucking will do whatever, but I think women are more like kind of, they're very much like, I think they're always thinking that you're going to be an axe murderer or they're going to get like, you know, like tied up in a dungeon or something. You know, I think they're always a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so they're always looking for like, any, any red flags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's come back to that complex question. So you're walking on the street with your, your wife and she asks, she sees this hot woman coming along and she says to you, you know, do you find that woman attractive? And that question, you know, she might as well put an emo on the end of it because we need to know what she actually fucking means. Without seeing her face, without seeing like, because that question could be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go back to that question though, the hand-packed guy, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His, his wife is asking him that question, you know, do you find her attractive with the underlying, underlying message of- A threat. Like you find Sandra at work attractive! No sex for you for a month! Exactly, for looking at this woman. There is this stereotype of that though, right? Yeah, but I think that's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This might just well be an opinion though, right? Because I'm pretty sure I saw studies that showed that kids in single parent families were not necessarily


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people, as a result, when sort of divorce rates, in a sense, I think have been dropping because I think people have been more educated and more, are more sure with their decisions. They're finding the right person. Yea, they're finding the right person. Don't snap to get married, absolutely. We used to get married and have kids a lot earlier and you know, I can't think how much I've changed since I was 21. You know, imagine most people got married when they were 21. I was 25.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus Christ. It's pretty scary, like there were a couple of days on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm, I'm, I don't know if I'm allowed to say anything about this, but, but I can, I suppose I can say that, that for some reason, I've been really interested in Dota again. Um, and I dunno, it's like, it's like when I played Hearthstone, I got really into World of Warcraft. You know, it's one of those things where,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember, I saw that, so there's this Twitch clip of you saying, if you have one bad on a team, it's okay, but if there's two bads on a team, we can't carry those people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fives. You know that's a one in three chance of you hitting, right? So you're thinking, okay, five-five, ten shots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three and a third of them are gonna hit, so you know, on average, you know, that's a five to wound, so one third's gonna, so I'm gonna do one wound on average, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he's got an armor save, so I could probably do a wound if I shoot him with these 10 guys. So you roll with 10, that's your decision made, and you can, it's kind of an intelligent thing, whereas with Dota it's all so quick and so fast, and the levels are 1 to 25, and you don't know what items they have, you don't know where they've put their skill points, and you're not quite sure how much damage these abilities necessarily of every hundred of heroes do, and so


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I hope that someone will turn up and save me? Do I like back out? And like, then, and it's added to the mix by the fact that there could have been another fucking invisible guy, like just, just around the corner, or he could have spawned just out of the fog. And you have to try and weigh all these things up and then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And as a result, it's kind of this thing that just kind of, it becomes this sort of feeling that you just get for the game, right? You just get, rather than it being like a concrete decision backed up by any kind of numbers, by any kind of sensibility, by something you could be trained in and learned, like if you went through all the damage tables and stuff and you kind of learn, I mean sure you can, in a tabletop game you kind of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, roughly how good units are against units and your Osmo's that stuff in, but, but in a sense that we're used to playing XCOM and things like this where like, yeah, I'm happy taking an 80% shot. Yeah, I'm happy, I'm taking a risk on this one. Whereas with Dota it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You never, you know, I'm never sure, and I really kind of, that frustrates me in a sense, because I'm, and the only way you really get it is through doing it. Like, the guy who plays Witch Doctor, he knows if he can play it enough games, like with Hearthstone as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's the way I ended up getting Legend and the way they recommend playing these games is you just play the same fucking deck because what you do is you learn all the fucking scenarios and when I got Legend it was because I knew every single thing that could happen. Yeaah, I was the same. You just know your matchup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's, it's nice to be able to do that and think, okay, I've achieved that. But with Dota, there's so many factors, there's so many things, there's so many different things. And I feel like the other thing about Dota is I'm always a little bit scared to become


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good with one hero, because then I've put my MMR up too high with that, and then I'm no good with anything else, and it's like, okay, I can only ever play this one hero, and that's not how I like to play those, or I like to play with random heroes every time. Like, I like to play Hearthstone, but when I play that, I never leave rank 20.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like, we, so I played, uhm, we played Space Hulk yesterday on, on Battle Boys, which is one of the streams where we're sort of trying to play miniatures, games and board games. What a name. It's a great, great stream, check it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and Tom, Tom, we were playing Space Hulk, and obviously this is a game that Tom and Ben have played, and I played back in the day, but obviously nowhere near as much as they did. And it felt like Tom was going into the game with basically perfect information, right? He kind of knew the game so well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It almost became a game of chance, right, for him, because he knew...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously, like, his decisions were all locked in, in a sense, right? Whereas with something much more complicated, like poker or Dota, uh, I think that the osmosis of the world that's around you is still, like, key. Like, you just have to immerse yourself, like, so much in the game and play so much of the game that you're just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, another level. You know what I like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're also very much, I think, like, they get tempered by people like Alex, right, who is this guy we play with, who is, he's, his sort of attitude towards games is that he doesn't give a fuck about winning. Right. In a weird way, like, some people don't give a fuck about winning for different reasons, like Shin just wants to troll, he wants to make a laugh, he wants to kind of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Sips to two to some extent, like, has always been this guy who doesn't really care about winning, he just wants to kind of make weird shit happen. Right. It's almost like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a weird one. But I don't think any of us are necessarily coming at it with the angle of, of, I wanna make this, like, fun for other people, or I wanna make this fun to watch. Like, I think a lot of people still come at it with the angle of, I wanna make it fun for myself, and the way that I wanna make it fun for myself is not to win, it's to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or you've done, yeaah, I can see that, like, you'd either taken an ability that was just mathematically worse, or you've done a move that was mathematically stupid or wrong, deliberately, because it fits into the narrative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that's about, that's about karma though too, right? It's about, sometimes you, sometimes when you're playing a game, you have to be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just doing this. I know it's wrong, but I'm just doing this. And I think that some people, uhm, have different character types and they will never take those wrong decisions in a sense, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if you, if you set something up, the audience sees it to its conclusion, right? So if you say, you know, if you get a guy drawing a gun on someone who says, I'm going to kill you, it already in your mind, you've seen that guy getting killed. So you kind of in a story for me, like you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kill him at that point, right? You've almost like, for me, cause it's just not, it's like an inevitable, unless it's unbelievable, I don't know, that's a bad example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So often, like, you know, the best twists come when everything you think is leading towards this end where you're like, okay, I see where this is going, I've predicted it, aren't I smart? You know, I've figured out who it is, you know, and then, bam, it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't, a lot of people were like confused about the word Mark being used because we've got Humes in the office, we've got Terps, he likes to be called Mark now. It's confusing. Does he? Yea, he likes, he prefers it I think. He doesn't want to- Shin wants to be called Paul as well. No he doesn't. You would like to be called Christopher. Right. And Pirro would like to be called Edward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one thing I remember about Windsor was that when I was just starting YouTube, I went for a job interview at an advertising company in Windsor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they, it was one of these like drug, I've told this story I'm sure before, but it was one of these drug companies where, where, you know, you had to sell, you had to come up with ideas for selling pharmaceuticals, right? That sounds exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you could feel like a, like a million bucks, you know, with these, and this like, new shoes, but they're like, got the pills name on them or whatever. Do you know what I mean? That kind of shitty stuff. With buckaroo anal spray. And it was, it was like this advertising office. I've told this, definitely told this story anyway. I went in there to the interview.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we'll, we'll just do, I'll do what you said. I didn't want to rock the boat, I just met the guy. Anyway, came back through into like, uhm, this, this room with this boss guy. And he was like a Simon Cowell type figure. And he sort of, you know, I sort of presented him my ideas and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he just fucking lost his shit. He went completely ape shit. It started like fully, fully, like it was, like it was X Factor and Simon Cowell was just going off on one. Like the, um, the poor fucking chump who clearly can't sing. I was the poor chump who clearly couldn't sing apparently. So he just like lambasted me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first thing I heard about the Eden Project was that I thought it was like some sort of bubble dome where basically they sealed it off from the rest of the world and so I thought for some reason I thought it was a thing where I just thought it was like a bunch of greenhouses. I thought it was like a tester for if like we cut off a little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably already in production, P-Flex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason I thought the Eden Project was some, it sounds like a sci-fi film, doesn't it? And I always thought it was something weird, but no, it's just two big greenhouses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a- fixed at the, um, rainforest environment and one that fixed at the Mediterranean environment. And I guess we did a very similar thing when we went to Singapore. They have this thing called the Gardens by the Bay, which is one of the biggest sort of tourist attractions there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, again, two massive greenhouses, one rainforest, one Mediterranean. And to the people in Asia who come and visit Singapore as like a tourist resort, seeing the Mediterranean sort of climate and gardens and stuff there is quite interesting to them because, you know, the place, Singapore is a rainforest, it's a jungle sort of climate and so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, having the rainforest simulation is almost like a bit weird as well because it's almost like we've got, sure, we've got


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got a biodome, which is simulating all the plants you're growing anyway, in here, but it's the same thing with them. But this was on a much, much grander scale, and I think it's, it's relatively new. It was built in the last sort of few years. It's very, it was kind of nice though, to like walk around, but also kind of weird to see how artificial and, and uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of stripped down the whole thing is, it's like, it's really very much managed gardens. It's not, there's no, nothing is allowed to grow wild at all. Every leaf is in its place, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, well I suppose that is a nice thing. Who doesn't like a trim bush? I guess the other thing is that because it is this constant, fixed,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we just go back one second? I mean, I've just looked up Essex on the map, right? There's only two coastal towns in Essex really collapsing in the south end. But also, like, the other places on the coast are like, pretty shit. I mean, Grays, Gravesend, fucking Falness Island, Malden, Mersey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Essex coastline. What a fucking, what a fucking choice of holiday. I mean, you could have gone into, uh, if you got up, if you got up the coast a bit, uh, like Albury in Sussex, that was much, much nicer. Have you been to Kent? Yes, the, the Garden of England. I lived in Kent for two years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weirdly, I know you guys have way more responsibilities than me in terms of like kids and, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like families and just, just the complexity of, of that, right? But for me it feels like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I'm not, like, like you said, PFLAX earlier, you know, you, you, the dream holiday for you would be just sitting around in your pants, drinking cider, playing video games. Kind of, I, I could kind of have the opportunity to do that, but I don't, I don't, I feel like I also have a responsibility to kind of- Not do that. Keep everything going here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Babinson Court like, set up ha-hazardly in the garden. It wasn't actually, it was kind of, there wasn't enough space, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was one of these things, and we had like a garden party there, like, you know, for some, for some, like, my dad's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like trampoline, you know, you remember, you remember, trampolining? Yeah. Oh, what a joy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, no, I've been listening to podcasts too. So, so, for example, I think the typical thing that they have is 30 seconds of ads at the start. So I've got an app called Pocket Cast. So as soon as I look at the podcast, I hit the 30 seconds skip button and it skips those ads at the start, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then in the middle, they are usually required to run like a minute of ads in the middle. And so I can, again, as soon as I know that's coming, as soon as the little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you know, I, I never have to really listen to ads, but occasionally I, I catch the intros and outros of some of them. And so I've been listening to the Vox, uh, podcasts, like Today Explained.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's kind of- Okay, first of all, it's a bit depressing. Well, so is the Triforce podcast, I mean- No, but let me explain a couple of things to you, right? So first of all,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, because I moved from Apple to Android about three or four months ago, and I've had this thing on my phone since I got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everyone must have this as well, because anyone who's got this phone, it's a really common phone, it's Android, so everyone must have this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And turn off its notifications. The reason I wanted to turn off the notifications is because they were always very stressful news notifications, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Breaking news! Missiles fired from North Korea! Kinda like seriously like spooky messages and stuff like, you know, Donald Trump executes major missile attack on Syria, Russia, war, blah blah blah, right? Like terrifying stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck this. Like I don't want to hear this like stressful shit, like it was really kind of, it was really kind of making me like, I kind of, but the way it was, the headlines were so sensationalized that they didn't really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you heard about strip fortnite for example? No. Tell me more. So there's like, one of the biggest like things on YouTube at the moment is strip fortnite where it's like kids playing fortnite but they've got their girlfriend or sister stripping off clothes every time they get a kill. Oh shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, how old are these people who are stripping though? But often it's like, but often they even do that to even make it even more clickbaity. So for example, some people aren't even doing that, it's just a clickbait title. So the clickbait title is Strip Fortnite with my 13 year old sister or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a real problem. The world of clickbait that we live in and YouTube has got this massive issue with it and it's pretty disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of the problem is that it's a negative spiral, right, where everything is, everything has to be clickbait because only clickbait gets the views and therefore everyone starts making their videos be more clickbait and then the trending just is full of clickbait where it's like none of the titles


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The kind of people who work in YouTube like this, this stuff. They, YouTube hate gaming, they hate like other stuff, so they want vloggers, they want like, they want, they want dead bodies hanging in forests because it's dramatic and it's trending and it's, it's newsworthy. They like it. They don't like us not liking it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fox is good, like, it's not, it doesn't feel click-baity, it doesn't feel, it's kind of, the whole idea of the podcast is that it's kind of going to explain the stories of today and talk to actual experts about stuff. So for example, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With, you know, for example, like drug stuff, like specific court cases, the police brutality, like each, each kind of episode is quite well-tainted and it's, it's very modern podcast. In a world where news media, you know, like for example, they did this one great podcast where they were talking about how there's this hedge fund that owns like a hundred


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The adverts, right? So they have these fucking adverts for, for toothbrushes, right? And I'm not gonna say the brand, but the way they do it is, is the most awful cringe-worthy ad-like thing ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I guess what they've done is they've, they've, they've had to do the same, they've had to advertise this toothbrush for a whole month, right? So for 30 podcasts, it's like the same, it's like them still advertising this toothbrush and it's like, oh, it's like rough because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've kind of run out of creative ways to do it, and so they're basically like, ringing up a guy. They're like, Hey Jeff, it's like, hey, uh, I know you're not at work today. No, I'm not at work, uh, but you run the, uh, the sports desk here at Fox. Oh yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I dunno, I think that's, I think that's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is, this is kind of like part of like where my, the links to what I said earlier in a sense, because I, I sometimes like see that, you know, the company that we have the, you know, is, is, it's, the, the Autocast, it's, it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the most popular thing in the world is it used to be a lot bigger, you know, but as a result, like we, but we also have a lot of expenses. We have a big office here, a lot of people to support and stuff and do a lot of things that cost money. And so when it comes to doing these brand deals,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It did feel like we, uhm, we always wrestled with this, like, the brand sponsorship, the adverts, like, selling out and stuff, and I think that the way Vox has done it is pretty hands-off, obviously they're like, they just like, go ahead and do it how you want, and I think it's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's like, it doesn't make me stop listening to the podcast particularly. It's more the, it's more the news that's so depressing that fucking makes me not listen, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I think Terps said to me that, you know, anything Blizzard, he'll just drop his, anything he's doing for Blizzard. Just he'll, he'll, he's, unfortunately his, Terps' weakness is Blizzard though as well. Like, when Terps goes out to do stuff,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For, for people at like games, at gamescom or wherever, he kind of works his ass off and, and always ends up feeling like really kind of frustrated like though, because they kind of don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I think you recorded like hours and hours of funny stuff at Gamescom and then it went away for approval and they, they, they, they said, oh, can you redo it? He was like, I've done loads of funny skits, I've come up with loads of funny, I've spent weeks preparing this because I love Blizzard. I've come up with loads of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They set back pages and pages of changes, and then they set back pages and pages more of changes, and then pages and pages more of changes, and at a certain point, I just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I threw my hands up and was like, this is fucking ridiculous. You know, like, the things they're asking for are mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and completely unnecessary, like, you know, blurring out Twitch on a t-shirt, you know. And it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Like, do you know what I mean? And so, and it's obviously not, it's just someone is worried about something and, and they're more worried about, I could, I could see, I could see it from like an advertising exec's point of view though as well, that, that they, they don't want to lose their job over, you know, something that they ostensibly approved, you know, and so they're being super, super careful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could, I could completely see that. And honestly, like, when Terps is a Gamescom wearing a Blizzard t-shirt representing Blizzard, they've got to, they've got to be very, very careful and stuff, and sensitive around this stuff. And I get it, I get it. Like, but I think when it's on our channel, and when it's in our voice, and when we're doing a video,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want it, I want them to say hey, make a good video to promote this thing, you know, and we'll be like, okay, here's what we think's good, um, and if they come up with changes, we'll be like, well, here's why we don't think any of these changes should be made, because this is our thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, whereas, you know, sometimes you don't get that. And every time that happens, every time someone comes to me and says, oh, you know, this is, we're sponsoring this video, therefore you need to change this. I instantly am like, I'm going to fight my hardest not to make any big changes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Equally it's like, you know, the point is that, you know, we edit a video around like, and so there's long running jokes throughout the whole video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they say, okay, this, this one, this one can't, can't be in it. And you're like, well, okay, if I have to cut this joke out, I actually also have to cut out the set up for that joke. I have to cut out the repeated joke of it at the end or else it doesn't work. So, okay, you want me to cut out this 10 seconds, I'm going to have to cut out 30 seconds or maybe a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were like, what do you mean the super, we can't say Tesco. And they were like, yeah, can you rerecord it to say supermarket? And I'm like, yeah, do you know what? We can, we could just go and go back out with everyone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I guess sometimes the people I want to work with the most I guess are the most difficult to work with because they're so protective of their stuff and I get it, I get it, it's fine anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If a sponsored video is going out on our platform, it should be in our voice. And I feel very strongly that, you know, we swear. I'm not going to bleep swearing on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your brand deal video, you know what I mean? Because you, you, because you, you don't like it. Or whatever. That's not how it works. You're on our platform, to our audience. They expect a certain thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not really complaining, I'm just sort of musing on it really, because it is something which we, I'm concerned about. I don't, I don't like doing sell outy stuff, right, and I never have. But sometimes I feel like it's good money. But I just love money so much. I love money. But on the flip side, like, I actually legitimately have never


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not, not, not that I can remember recently, done something for a brand deal for something which I genuinely didn't like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so like for example recently we played Skyforge, which is like an MMO that I played a bunch of like, about a year ago or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just for no reason. They tried to sponsor us and help us out on the Jingle Jam and offered to give us loads and loads of stuff. We ended up not putting it in because we thought it would be a bit kind of, uhm, because all of their games are free to play, right? And so it would only have just been like stuff in the free to play games. Stuff that was worth quite a bit, but it fell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't quite sure what to do with free to play stuff in the jingle jam last year and how it fits in. I'm still, I'm still trying to figure it out. It's one of the things I talked a lot about with people at GDC. Like how do we make it so it doesn't feel like just a Sunday newspaper with tons of adverts shoved in, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I don't, we don't need the money that bad, uhm, but I think it's hard to, uhm, turn stuff down if we like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome back to Triforce Podcast. Guess what? This week's gonna be three hours long, cause last week was only forty minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. Yeaah. This one. This guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're gonna get out there. You're gonna get out there and get all wet with the babes, aren't you? While I'm in here staying all dry in my garage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beautiful breasts that I could just get lost in every time I go for a personal training session.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I go out of my way not to go out, but the thing is, when I do go out, I'm fully functional. It's fine. I don't make dick jokes to the wrong people, nothing like that. I'm fine if I get out there. I don't wanna go out there. You!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think some people are endearing with it and other people, unfortunately, are just cunts when they do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You did the classic, didn't you? Or you're gearing up to do the classic, aren't you? Your jealousy and your envy is gonna be so severe with this guy because he's buff, he's got tattoos and stuff and he works out a lot and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hop up on that bike and you'll be like, yeah, okay, fine. You hop up on the bike and then like a piece of paper falls out of your pocket and it opens up on the ground. You're like, oh shit, I dropped something. Let me just pick that up. And he gets a look at it and it's a printout of your YouTube channel and the views that you got for the month previous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you look at him and you're like, how do you like them apples? And he looks at you and he's like, you're mama. And then that's it. It goes full circle. He becomes the child who's lashing out and you've taken the upper hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An event where people go to seek you out because you're on the bill as a ticket seller.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was 10 years old and I liked Minecraft, now that I'm 25, it's not the case so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But how old are these people though? And are they lying about their age?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you send a copy of those stats to Duncan? Because dude is spamming out Minecraft like there's no tomorrow. Like it's, like it's 2011.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, no, it didn't. The first colonization came out, like, was it 97? It had to have been earlier than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The music is so good too, the uhm, like the, like the good old, like colonial Canadian music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I'd say the period's already at the next tier, being 40 and all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What'd you put in there? Roses are red, violets are blue. I love you Duncan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually squats is usually not something that they make you do too many of unless they have some burning hatred for you deep down inside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's pretty good. We used to do that at school. Sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, fuck. I just, I sleep in my boxers. I'm just wearing track pants and a t-shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, my boxers aren't old. I got a strict policy. Socks and boxers, I replace them like on the regular. Six months. I don't let the elastics go nothing. I get them once. I'm like the John Travolta of the Uggs cast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I fucking change up my clothes all the damn time. You know, John Travolta wears like Armani shirts on, on, on set and he changes every hour and he just throws it in the garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy owns a plane, okay, he does. I read it, I read about it. He's on set, he wears only Armani shirts on set and every hour he changes and he throws it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. That fucking reminds me, I played Blackwake yesterday with Shin. I hadn't tried it yet. And the voice emotes when you're Navy in that game are fucking incredible. It looks fun, is it good? You have to check it out. It's clunky as shit, but yeaah, it's pretty fun. I like clunky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if, if you wanna, if you've, if you've always dreamed of serving as a crew member on a, on a ship. I love that era. It's good. Yea, like you literally have to put the gunpowder in the cannon, then you have to put like the cannonball in the cannon, then you have to use the ramrod on the cannon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you gotta push the cannon like into position, and then you gotta light it and fire it and stuff, like there's lots of little things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cool, it's pretty fun. It's clunky though, like it's pretty early alpha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good, but it is like in its, its current, its current iteration or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it is limited. Like you, like you, you still get like about 20, 30 hours out of it easy and enjoy it, but you will get to a point where you realize, hang on a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No matter what I do, this map, the way that they've designed the map for this phase of the alpha or early access or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Means that it's super limited. You're not going to be able to push further.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like some people have dug all the way down to magma or whatever. Okay. And you can, there are ways of recreating water once you've run out with steam and stuff, but it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I don't think it's intended by the devs for you to be able to do that as like a long-term thing. People just done it because they want to just push the alpha, like, or the early access as far as they can. But there's, there's definitely things where you can tell that the devs have just said, okay, yeah, we're going to make them run out of this so that, you know, they just can't keep playing or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's where the Axis works well. Like Subnautica is like that too, if you've ever played that. It came out, it was pretty limited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've got a roadmap, they've got regular dev updates and stuff. It's going to be early access for a long time still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, it's updated regularly and the updates that they're putting in are good. You know, they get feedback from the community, they listen to the community, they put stuff in, you know, you know what I mean? It's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think when early access is at its best, you're investing in the game that you want and you potentially have a say in how that game is going to be through feedback and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it definitely has its flaws, but when it works, it works pretty well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And listen, uh, another, um, another thing that, um, I did recently that leads on to something else that I wanted to talk to you guys about. I hope you don't mind. No. Um, I had to take my car into the mechanics again. Classic. Recently. Well, I had to take my bike in and get the chain. Hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and uh, you know, it'll be down a few days and then we can fit it. And I was like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, yeah, it's going to be like 250 bucks though. It's like, oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All this stuff, all this stuff had to happen to the car. The car's fine now, by the way, in case you're wondering. Uh, it's, it's running like a dream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it now. I'm not having anything else done to this car, okay? Cause it's like a, it's like a 17 year old car. It's a, it's an okay car, like I'm not too attached to it or whatever, but man, I'm not paying any more money to keep this car on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, poop everywhere and there's just like garbage all over it. Yeah. So, so I was like when I, so when I took it in for a service, I was in the showroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's just like, there's like a finger on the floor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's it, yeah. So I'm in the showroom and I'm just looking around and like I've never bought a new car before in my life. Like I remember my parents bought one when I was young and we had to like go to all these fucking dealerships and look around and stuff. It's pretty boring. So I just like looking around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brand new for like seven grand. I was looking at those. And they're like, they're okay. And I'm just looking around thinking like, okay, when the time comes, you know, like what am I going to get? Like I'll start looking around and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the corner, all by itself, with like fucking cobwebs on it, nobody wants to even go to that corner of the store, there's a fully fucking electric car. And I'm sitting here thinking, holy shit, this, like, there's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's powered by electricity, like I wouldn't need to go to the gas station ever again, nothing. And so I'm looking at this car and I'm thinking like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you know, what's, what's, what's the, what, what are the drawbacks to this? Because it's not the norm, right? Like where am I going to fucking charge it up when it needs to be charged up? You know, how, how far can I go without charging it up again and stuff? So I look at this car, I'm looking into it and I got home and I went on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but listen to this, okay? You can get a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you, you can just plug it into like your, like a normal plug at home. You can just charge up your fucking car at home. Like overnight, okay? So you can just get, you can get it on like its own circuit if you want as well. And so like I can put a thing out in the driveway where I can just plug the car in, charge it up overnight. And while you're driving,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The kinetic energy from breaking charges up the battery as well. It's fucking crazy. And it's got like a 250 mile range. So like, you can't go further than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like Frank Butcher from EastEnders with the used car lot just trying to fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard the word electric a lot, does it also have an electric engine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I'm always ultra cynical about like the automotive industry and like the shit that happens because fuck me, like, like the fucking, I remember being a kid and going to like this like science fair, whatever, and they were talking about electric engines like back then and like, like hydrogen engines or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that you're excited about it. It's great. It's been around for so long and they've done everything they can to prevent it from coming about because they just want to fucking sell gas like all the time and it's crazy. It's just nuts. It really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really nuts. I remember, I literally remember being like a 10 year old kid and seeing this, this technology and they were talking about it and they were saying like, just think in the future we're never gonna burn fossil fuels again. We're gonna be driving electric cars and stuff. This is like fucking 20 years ago. Like, like still we're not there. What the fuck is going on? So I'm gonna buy an electric car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's pretty cool. There's charge points in some of like the parking lots and stuff, but you'd never be over here. It's such a small island. You'd never be so far from home that you couldn't just get home and just fucking have a cheeky little lunchtime charge or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, just fucking push it. If you run out of juice, just push your car to like a hill and then just fucking break your way down it and give yourself-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Charge to get some, charge to get home. Yeah, you just break, you break on your way down and you charge up the battery a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Einstein. Okay, look, I was just getting excited. I was just, you know, I'm filling up the column of pros, and that could potentially be a fun pro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time I rent a car, it's a Nissan. Every fucking time. I just hate those tiny windows. What's the deal with Nissan? Like, is it just like the- I don't get it. It's like the rental car's wet dream to just have a full fleet of Nissans or something? I don't know, they must be cheap. They're okay, but fuck me, like, gimme s-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the shed, oh, shed car. Yeah, of course. Did you see the multi Volkswagen? It was maroon. Yeah. God. Yeah, man. We talk about it often, actually. It's like the place isn't the same without it. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got some Chinese food, man. The cops dropped him off and they, they were like, oh, he was like, oh, thanks officers. Thanks for your help. And they turned to him and they're like, hey, so what are you going to go in there and order? And period sort of turned around smirked and he said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to have the Ramones rocket to Russia on cassette tape in my car. That was really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember all of my, all of my cub scout leaders were, all had like fucking jungle book names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I didn't learn. No, I learned over here. I didn't learn in Canada. So I learned how to drive over here. And actually the dad van, the one that you've been in, I crashed that. It's the only time I've ever crashed a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were, we were moving, and uhm, to save some money, I decided to move a bunch of stuff, like, manually, like myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we got, we got the removal guys in to just do the really big furniture or whatever and, and then a lot of like the sort of like shitty little things I just moved like in the car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I had, I had this like real honkin' load, like, inside the, in the car. It was like stacked right up to the ceiling and there was shit like, the minute I like, started driving, stuff was like falling down and slippin' off and,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I'm driving down this like totally empty road, okay. There's, there's, there's nothing on this road except for like a white trade van, a really beat up white trade van. It just was rusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin', it looked like it, it'd been in a war or something. It was just like really rough shape and it was outside a house that was being refurbished, right? So it was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Driving down this road, all this stuff starts fucking piling down, falling down. I'm like super tired and stuff. So I'm like turning around, putting my arm trying to stop everything from sliding down to where like the gear stick was and everything. And I looked back for a split second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I fucking rammed right into this trade van. I was like, oh shit. So I fucking turned the car off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like falling everywhere and I took my eyes off the road for like two seconds and, uh, fuck I'm sorry, I like ran into your car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No fucking way. Um, there's no fucking insurance claim. This car is not even insured. It can't be. It's a, it's a write-off. Like how is this even on the road still? But he was like, he was adamant. He's like, no, no, no, give me your phone number and stuff and you might hear from me. I'll see what my mechanic says. If you can't get the dents out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck? Like it was, it was, it was, it was surreal. That's the only time I've ever crashed a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Thanks very much. We'll see you next time, next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How's she gonna- this is the 50s, right? How the hell is she gonna do the dishes now? She won't be able to see all the stuff on the- on the dishes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either that or kids TV. It's kids TV or if we don't know what to watch, dinner date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and what's the difference? What are they putting on this that makes it worth that much?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So just putting a chocolate covered pretzel on top of the donut drives up the price by like 300%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of fucking witch, by the way, I am sick to fucking death if I'm streaming in the evening. Here's what I get. Where's Sips? Anyone know what Sips is up to? Hey, Pirian has Sips. Any Terry updates? Isn't Sips awesome? In my fucking chat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last night, that's all it was, like half the fucking people were there to talk about you, you motherfucker. And I told them to get the fuck out of my channel. They love you so much, go watch your shit. Go watch a fucking six-vlog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I went there with Mrs. F, because it's half term, right? So, uh, the kids went to my mum's, we went up to Edinburgh, we went on the sleeper train, and we were there for one full day, stayed in a beautiful hotel, and then we came back again by sleeper train. So we basically had most of that day, because you go at like 11 at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The train is like 11 at night, you get on the train at 11, you stash your shit, you go to sleep, you wake up in wherever you're going, so in this case it was Edinburgh. Let me tell you, this was the worst fucking train ride I've ever had in my fucking life on the way up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that actually, that really, uh, that really, I don't know, I'm a sentimental, soppy old fucker, but it did make me very, very happy to see all these people all over the fucking place, really, sending us pictures of their, either where they were working, or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was just like, wow, this is, this is really cool. Like all these people and they're all saying the same thing, which is it gets them through a commute or it gets them through a day at work or they're, they're studying and they're kind of bored or they're in a lab somewhere doing something. You know, the one guy was like repairing electric bikes. Once you know how to repair an electric bike, I guess his brain is on autopilot. He knows what he's doing and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he sent us a picture of him and his mate in the cockpit. Wow. And he's a fucking pilot. Him and his co-pilot listen to the Triforce podcast. Hopefully not while they're flying the plane. But they're fans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I thought, this is gonna be fine, I'm just gonna go to sleep and I'm gonna wake up at Edinburgh. I thought it was gonna be like, you know those modern Pendolino trains that are like super smooth, they go fast, you can barely feel them moving? This was not that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This thing is bumping and rolling and it keeps pulling into all these sidings to pick up post, I think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, it's banging around all the time. There was one point where part of the train was being separated, and it was pulling it for such a long time to separate these two carriages, and we're in one. I fe- I felt like I was being pulled apart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you want to know the worst part? The worst part, alright, is it's 6am. I've slept maybe 2 hours. And at the point of 6am, you basically arrived, but they boot you off at 7, so it arrives at 6.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people get off and leave, other people like me sleep a bit because they're exhausted and then they boot you off about 7, 7.30 or something like that. Now we did not order drinks and this guy, the, the, the steward guy comes around and he's got coffee for people and stuff like that. This is how he knocks on the door. Are you ready? Like that. Just tap, tap. But he was tapping on the next door as well, so it was like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was literally like something metal on something metal tap tap. Like he was hammering in a nail or something. Like there was no indication that this was someone knocking at our door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With some name like, yeah, something like that. Yeah, that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looked at it, there's this bit where it's all split apart, the rocks are all split apart and sort of bent at a weird angle and Lee thinks, what's that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know the way sometimes something's happening, you don't know what's happening, you suspect it's not worth the noise, but someone's opening and closing a door, like 20 times. So it's like, they'll open and close the door, and it sort of just wakes you up a tiny bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five seconds to go past. They open and close the door again. Another twenty seconds, thirty seconds to go past. Fucking door opens and closes again. This went on for like ten minutes. This door is open and closing. I don't know what's going on.