[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Left, went in the Navy, I think served two tours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're glad to have him. I think I can play. Yeah, welcome. We welcome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. He was probably playing in Notre Dame when you were there. I mean, he was probably like older than you, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Thank you. I, uh, I hate to miss last week. My, my, uh, my mother-in-law passed away and, uh, sweet lady, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She lived with us. I think I told her a joke one time about we raced each other to the mailbox. Yeah. And, uh, she passed away kind of suddenly. So, um, so I was, I had a miss last week, but glad to be back. It was weird not being watching it as a folk about 30 minutes in. I was like, these guys are idiots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm joking. You look better than any of us now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You thought you got a Toledo jersey? Yeah. I was with you on that. I thought about that. That was, uh, their hockey team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You may, I didn't go with you to Scranton, but in Toledo, I'm pretty sure you got a Jersey presented to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was 35 when I started. And I do feel like comedy is the fairest of all the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Entertainments in that regard, because if you are funny and put in the work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got a few examples of stuff like that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got to do a check spot once in New York, a guy put me on, I didn't know what a check spot was and I was like, I'll take it, sure. Yeah, I get a check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I got up there and it was the whole time, it was like 10 people in the room and they're all just looking and I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to cancel one show, but last night I did a surprise birthday party for one of our folks. Oh yea? Yea, Kelly Rose, her husband Brian Rose, through her surprise 50th birthday party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he ran out of theater, invited all our friends. It was great. They were a lot of fun. Big fans of the podcast. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, it was fun. That's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kelly Kelly. Yep. She's 50. I couldn't identify.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When your parents were 40, you were probably, at least in high school?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? My father-in-law retired yesterday at 82. Wow. 82. So, that's a real retirement. That's a real retirement. He told everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a joke about mowing the yard and when I say it here in the south, that's what I say, but when I do it up north, they're like, they don't quite understand what I'm saying. They say cut the lawn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cut the lawn or cut the, cut the grass? I think I say cut the grass. I say mow. I say mow. Yeah, it's the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very helpful. Yeaah. Yeaah. He's great. We played that golf scramble last year together. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it a little bit like talking to your parents and you're trying to get out of there and they just break up one more topic that who cares? You can see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, today we're talking about animals. That was a popular topic a previous episode, the whole penguin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So on the way here, I saw a sign at a church. I didn't catch the name of church, but it said this Sunday, blessing of the animals, 2 PM. Do your church do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was surprised when you said uh huh like you knew about this. Did they explain it more or is it that's it? I'm asking y'all to explain it to me right now. It's just a sign that said blessing of the animals. I'm trying to figure out what it is. So you knew that and you know that means


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not like afterlife, like they don't baptize them or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's fascinating if you're a real life example of taking your pet to church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we had a, we got, when you're for Easter, uh, my sister and I each got a chicken. It was dyed. They don't do this anymore, I don't think. I think PETA makes this, but like they were dyed pink. Why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was supposed to be like a cute little Easter, like, like someone died though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a little, like a baby chicken. Yeah. Yeah. Died pink. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like at first we just kept it inside and then in a box, two of them, and then they started flapping more and more and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had to go to school one day and we put them outside in like in a box and when we got home off the school bus they were gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we have, I mean, we don't know what got him, but. Something got him. There was a lot of feathers left. A lot of pink feathers all over the yard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of stuff I did. People talk about evolving as humans. Uh huh. And like some old tweet or something, I'm not that type of person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, growing up in the country in the 80s, we just chained our dog to a tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did stuff that now people would freak out about. And now as someone who has a dog who's like my child, I would never do that and think it's crazy. But at the time it's just the way we did it. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the fattest cat in the world right now is 40 pounds. No, he's not that big. Uh, fattest cat on the record ever was 47 pounds. Guinness World Record stopped doing this, uh, to discourage people from overfeeding their cats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two-thirds of American families own a pet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the most popular dog for 30 years in a row. Most popular breed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, most popular dog name for male dogs, Bailey. Female dog, Bella. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Horses and cows, uh, do sleep some standing up. They can lightly sleep standing up because their legs have a ligament, this kind of stay apparatus that allows them to lock it in. But once you get in deep sleep, they have to lay down. So it's just for light dozing. Just share that for your horse stroke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coco the gorilla, remember Coco? She had IQ between 75 and 95 and could understand 2,000 words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, humans and great apes are the only animals who suffer from gout. Oh wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I'd say stars, if I could count that. There's more stars than greens of salt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, animals with smaller bodies and faster metabolism like chipmunks and squirrels see things in slow motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how they, yeaah. That's how they dodge things like cars and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, shortest living animal in the world is the mayfly. It lives for 24 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's amazing they can stay around. I mean, they do a lot in that time period.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, swifts can spend most of their life in the air flying, not the family you go on vacation with, the birds. They can fly a year without landing. Wow. It's a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now how they eat and sleep, I think they get really high and then they just start going down when they sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are no male or female earthworms. All earthworms have both male and female parts, but it still takes two of them to reproduce. There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, koala fingerprints are so close to humans that they've tainted crime scenes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, I think if I was on trial for murder, I would bring up, it was Koala that was on the scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The loudest animal in the world is the pistol shrimp. It claps its, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever together, so it's claws together so hard that it causes a sonic boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, or I sound louder than the Concorde sonic boom. 230 decibels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this just happened like three months ago. A guy got swallowed by a whale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he didn't get swallowed, but he was fully engulfed in his mouth. It didn't go to his stomach, but he was clam diving and came up behind him and next thing he knows, he's in it. He's in it. And he thought at first it was a shark, but then he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he said, he realized, oh my god, I'm in a whale's mouth and he's trying to swallow me. And he was wearing a scuba gear and his breathing apparatus and he was completely dark. And then, uhm, he started thinking about his wife and kids and then the whale spit him out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said that, marine biologists said that it was probably just a mistake. Like if you were running with your mouth open and a gnat flew in your mouth, that's probably what the whale was doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it was a study they did. I think it was the newspaper called a marine biologist and said, you think they did that on purpose or something like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The animal health company Zotis is donating more than 11,000 doses of COVID-19 vaccines to 70 zoos all over the country for 100 different species.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just Johnson Johnson, one dose please. I'm not doing this twice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, dumbest animals in the world, the domesticated turkey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know. It just says domesticate turkey. They look up. They have a condition called titanic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have a condition called titanic torticular spasms which makes them stare up at the sky non-stop even when it's raining. Some drown to death by looking up at the sky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hawaii has no native snakes and it's illegal to own one on the island. That's what you think. You think there's no snakes. There has to be some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They try to keep it from that. They say they have no, uh, post serious threat to Hawaii's environment because they have no natural predators. So they keep it off the island.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is one of U.S. territories. They had no snakes until World War II.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When a cargo ship accidentally brought brown tree snakes to the island.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they've since taken over. Now there's 2 million of them. They've wiped out 10 of the 12 native birds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In New Zealand, they don't even allow snakes in zoos. They just can't take a chance at it getting out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have 20 professional snake handlers around the country whose job is to find and catch any snakes spotted trying to enter the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet your dog was smarter than most dogs. Yeah, it was alright. Sitting around the family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because that's a character in Guardians of the Galaxy. The raccoons rocket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, animals have affected professional sporting events. The most famous is Randy Johnson, whose pitch totally destroyed that bird. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you Google Randy Johnson baseball, it gets less Google searches than Randy Johnson bird. Dave Winfield got arrested for, uh, hitting a seagull with a ball. Do you remember this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was warming up in between innings and he threw the ball back in to the dugout and it hit a seagull and killed it. Was he trying to? There's debate about it. He says no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But some animal rights people said he was. So when he got done after the game, there were plainclothes police officers waiting for him. They charged him with cruelty to animals, punishable up to $500 fine and six months in jail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Took him to the police station, read him his rights, posted, he posted a $500 bond.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was supposed to come back, but they later dropped the charges.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said that he couldn't have done it if he tried. You can't kill a seagull trying to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think it was out on the outfield. I think this was the old Toronto Blue Jays stadium. I think they had a lot of seagulls that just kind of hung out there and he threw it in and nailed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then Steve Lowry, the 1998 Player's Championship was about to putt for eagle and a seagull landed and grabbed his ball and took it off and dropped it in the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It reverts back to its child state, uhm, after it reaches a certain level, so therefore never dies. It's called an immortal jellyfish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I've impressed Nate, finally. Where is this? In the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What'd you think it was? So you can't kill it at all? You can kill it, yeaah, but it's not gonna die of old age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This keeps going back and forth. I mean, it doesn't make sense. I mean, I think the only way they die is if something eats it or it gets killed. Like it's, yeah, it's not invincible, but it somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it, would it shrink and get small again? I think so. I think it's somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that, that's really unfortunate that much more if you're in an accident.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, you're going to live forever and then you bump into a boat and die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, male seahorse goes through pregnancy and gives birth to the babies. Only animals on earth where the male carries the babies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, if that didn't, I'm running out here. No, I've heard of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What animal, if you could own any pet, any animal, what would it be?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just carrying one around. My little puppy, that's what she rides on my shoulders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Works around the house, yeaah. It's just kind of her thing, she, she comes up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, have you guys heard about Operation Cat Drop?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the 1950s, there was an outbreak of malaria in, on the island of Borneo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To eradicate the mosquitoes that were causing malaria, the World Health Organization spread DDT to kill the mosquitoes. But it had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to cope with this problem, the World Health Organization had to parachute 14,000 live cats into Borneo to fix the rat population called Operation Cat Drop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's often used as an example of how sometimes when we don't think about the repercussions of an action, how it leads to unnecessary consequences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he was 16, he and his buddies went to county fair. A guy got out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, the guy got out at the fair, set up a cage in the bed of his truck, put up a little table, and went up to the cab of the truck with a orangutan and started yelling, five dollars, five to win fifty. Who can beat this orangutan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think just, I think you just have to spin, you just have to last with the, with it in the ring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then he, they drew straws. He drew the short straw among his buddies. Everybody pitched in a dollar. There was five of them. So he gets up there, puts on gloves and head gear and he had to sign a waiver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which he said, looking back, that was a bad sign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said the orangutan did not look like much. He came up to about my chest, though his arms were as long as he was tall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the match started, he didn't lift his arms. He kept them down at the side and used them to pivot and follow me as I circled him like Muhammad Ali.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just didn't know how I could miss. My strategy was to fake with my right hand and the orangutan tried to block the punch, I throw my left. My buddy's reeling, get him boo, kick his butt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I moved in close and faked it to my right, and the last thing I remember, I woke up bleeding in the back of a friend's pickup truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The orangutan can knock me cold with one punch, which I didn't even see coming. My friends thought it was hilarious. They said I had a glass jaw and called me glassy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After I came to, we watched the orangutan knock out guy after guy. Not one guy could lay a glove on him. He had reflexes like a cat and later learned that a orangutan could tear a guy's arm off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he said he didn't tell that story for a long time because he didn't want animal rights people upset about. But, you know, it was when he was a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's about it. Yeah. Hummingbirds is the only bird that can fly backwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we should, uhm, that, uh, game show episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well actually, the funny thing is, because we were out over the weekend,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the first time we see Nate, you know, that I show up and I'm wearing this in the morning. And he's like, why are you dressed up like you're ready to go to the show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, well, I'm not wearing this the rest of the day, I just, I'm wearing it for breakfast. Yes. It was like I dressed up for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's go back further. Kellogg. How about Kellogg the cereal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kellogg was first. They were living in, this guy from Post was working there as an intern. And they were like, ooh, this crunchy thing. And he's just an intern working there, steals it, and creates this Post. This is the 1800s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Erin looks like he could have been in that recreation though. You have like a 1800s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, luckily my wife helps, uh, so that, but before that, I mean, Nate would see what it looked like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to disabilityfilmchallenger.com. Nate will spell disability wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, unbelievable. Honestly though, there are hundreds of films you can see if you go to disabilityfilmchallenge.com and it's, you know, great films and include people with disabilities.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, rinse my mouth out. So I see this tube, what looks like toothpaste, and I just see the C. And I thought it was Colgate. And so I go like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I start to swish like this, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over there? But usually I can't reach the sink, so I gotta, it's steps. So I'm like, I gotta do like a pull up in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then move, I do kind of swim a little bit, towards the sink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Found it? I mean, it still looked identical. It was also Colgate, so in fairness. Wow. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I was, I was almost so excited that it happened just knowing I'd be able to tell you what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was actually the bigger kind though. It was the big tube that looked like it was legit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there was a lot of guys, there was a guy that went by Sun572. Sun572. And he had the greatest, uh, it was the greatest at the end of it. No matter what, it didn't matter if he killed or bombed, he would go, Sun572, and the sun always shines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this is like open mics. Open mics, and it would be like, you know, it would be a guest spot, either way. Kill, bomb, he was a great comp, he would do good always. But regardless, he would, son five, seven, two, and the son of a shot, and the man would come down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the greatest, cause we did have, this was, you know, it was town night, it was called, it was Open Mic, and this guy, The Legendary Wid, the best, first time I ever did comedy, he would do it in between everybody, but he would have to come back on stage and get the mic, cause we're all doing five minutes. Okay everybody, and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like they would think Aaron's on the team, just people walking by. Like, he's on the team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if it's alright to ask the dentist, uh, what cortisone does to your mouth, I would like to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would have helped to have that on the bus on, uh. Yeaah. Yeaah. So, Saturday night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we're doing the show and after my parents came.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to, you know, them to see and their friend inside of the bus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did it for Ricky, you know, I wanted him to have that experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's partially been organized by Krispy Kreme I feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the driving tour I was eating a lot and then I got cavities when I got back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean if it was in a mouthwash container.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is all, so it goes through different things, including Hershey actually. We're going, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's, there's a, uh, where the factory is, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but Chase was though, he, he was like, I never really played before and he knew how to do everything where he would like, we're kind of like, uh, should I bet more? And he's like, just betting a little bit and he has like the best hand in the world. He'd be baiting you in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's show business though. You see me on TV and then you're like, I'm trying to, you know, open it for some five, seven, two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the TV show, Crashing, uh, was basically like the lifestyle. It was our life. It was our story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, full time in like 05, but I was going back and forth for a couple years from Philly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we would see, you know, Kevin Hart was there all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We saw him get that over Gino. He was another comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's part of the craziness too where certain comics you're doing five, six spots in a night and things have to work out at that like, cause you're, it's gonna take fifteen minutes to get from point A to point B in a cab and you're getting up and you have to leave right away to get to the next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so excited that I had this gig and we show up after driving two hours and they're like, yeah, we canceled it on you guys. And I got to tell everybody because I was going to pay everybody. I'm like, oh, this is exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd like to point out that that's when Boston closed, when Nate started to do the math.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's, there's something to be said though about like working your way up and doing some things for free and learning things at a certain point because you do kind of need to do a certain amount of free work


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to do theater, you have to take certain things where, oh, didn't I just see you on TV and now you're doing this thing? And you're like, there's a certain amount of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get stuff from people at your level more, you know, it's like, like we would be late at night when there was four people on a show, we would ride the subway back together at four in the morning. And it's like, that's where you really bond with people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would have, you know, crazy nights with Dave. He hasn't drank in a long time, but I used to do these camp shows in New York for kids. And there was one that was four in the afternoon. This is what I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You never knew when they were coming too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the systems change too because of social media and other things. Now people could just be famous and you know, you don't have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I, uh, you can follow me at Nick Novicki. I'm very excited to do shows with you this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, also check out again, disabilityfilmchallenge.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Check out all the films, support people with disabilities, making films in front of and behind the camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People with disabilities, 25% of the population, even if you spelled disability wrong, still 25%. Well, that's a disability. That's a disability. Exactly. But yet we're in less than 3% of film and TV shows. 95% of those actors are non-disabled actors playing people with disabilities. So the film challenge helps people with disabilities by making their own films, telling their own stories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to Nate Land. Got a little special one here for you. This is a special episode, uh, that we're gonna put out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm here with Brian Bates, Aaron Weber not here, hates the Seinfeld TV show, uh, and so we got a new person in that's a big fan of the Seinfeld TV show, Mark Norman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's like, God, if I could just get down to that, I'd go, no one could stop me then. Don't do it, Aaron. Yeah. Stay where you're at. He's lost a lot of weight. Oh, okay. Yeah. He's lost, uh, I mean a ton of weight actually, but you know, he still has another you amount of weight to lose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now he, uh, he's on the road. He's on the road. Yeah. Aaron, yeah, that's why. That'll be great. I should have said it. I didn't even think that, but it would be great. So I told Aaron, no. I said, I brought in Mark Norman and Mark Norman, if he moves to Nashville, you're out, Aaron. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's, uh, yeaah, he's on the road. And this was very kind of last minute quick. You're in town, uh, you're at Zany's this weekend, which I mean, you would have already played there, about to have people heard this. All sold out. Added a show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You started selling some cut, like are you starting to sell more weekends out? And it's all, it's like, it's clicking.


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[Assistant] They're, they're, they're all, I mean yeaah, I know you do it. Like they're, me and you were very similar in, uh, when we were both in New York. We were, we were the ones that did a ton of spots. Yes. We did, I mean, it would not, like we couldn't stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was so great when, you know, when you first came to New York and I was there. When did you start comedy? I was seven, I was six. So when did you move to New York?


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[Assistant] Late 07. Yeah. So, uh, I was there like three years at that point, but it's funny, New York, three years, you might as well be there at 10.


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[Assistant] Like it just so much. And I remember when you moved there and why we got along was because of that. Cause it was like, I was doing the spots, I left in 2012 and then it was like, then you were like, you just were like, I was like, yeah dude, you do everything. That's what I did. No days off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't want to, I always think that funnest time of my life. Yeah. But I wouldn't want to go back. Couldn't do it. And I think people do that with college.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, it's like, but you do it, I'm trying to think, I don't think I did comedy money. Like you go do, if you go to something, you're like, I mean I'd go visit my mother-in-law, uh, with Laura, and I remember going to Huntsville and doing shows. I'd be like, I'm gonna go out and do a show tonight. Like you just find a show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I don't, I don't let them sit up front. There you go. I always tell people they want, they like, if I'm giving them tickets and they're on my guest list and they're like, ah, is it going to be good seats? They're like, no, no, no, no. You should buy them if you want better seats. You're not going to be up front. No. You can't. No. If you're looking at someone that knows you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you just think they see through, they don't, you know, it's not, I don't think they think that, but we, it's hard. You think they see through you because they're like, you're like, that's not, you know, or something. It might be like, yeah, it's like, we're not all like that. Or I don't know, it's just hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my buddy, uh, Michael Clay, who I started comedy with, I remember I came out to Zany's once and it was like, when it was like kind of packed, it was like starting to, you know, I don't know the, the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it was, maybe it was one night or something, I don't know. But it was maybe sold out that night. And then, so I got him tickets and uh, I walked on stage and he's front row right there. And they put him there. And I mean, my first, my first move on stage, I just, the door opens and I just go.


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[Assistant] If I have someone, they can't be in my sightline.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, I have front row seats to Brian. Like you can go, you know, I am not a fan of you. Right, right. It's the least you see. Yeah. It's like, you gotta get your friends and family. You're like, well, I don't see them a lot. And so like they can, they can go closer and the closer to you, the farther back they go.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you do a lot of, I mean I hang, it's mostly at my shows.


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[Assistant] And I still see, uh, I see more people than most people see. Cause I'm, you're always going to their town. And then so I would go hang out and, uh, like my buddy Mitch from high school just came to, uh, Charleston.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he came, ate with us, hung out with us backstage, went to the show, we hung out after the show, and then they, uh, and then that was it. And it was like, you know, but you get, some of you just get so busy, you're like, dude, this is, if you want to hang, this is the hang. This is it. Like, cause I can't.


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[Assistant] You know, it's like, when I'm home, you're like, I'm barely home.


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[Assistant] Cause I can come home and want to golf or something or I like, I mean, I had this weekend, I had buddies come, some buddies came over. You're just kind of busy. And then it's like, I was talking to Lauren, I was like, I do like, I got to get better at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being like, oh, let me just get home with, you know, it's not like I don't talk to them, but yeah, it's like, it's just, you know, I bring a circus around me. Of course. And then, so then your circus kind of comes home and then you're like, you gotta be like, oh.


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[Assistant] It's all kind of new to me. And you're like, Oh, I gotta get, I gotta like, I need to like be better at.


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[Assistant] Being with them, you know, being, we're going to my daughter's softball game tonight. It's like.


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[Assistant] And you gotta go to stuff that you're not comfortable doing because that's, you know, and you want to be, you gotta live. You know, I remember, uh, Sinbad said that in a book.


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[Assistant] I wonder if that's a big part of it. Because it's almost like, what's he going to talk about in his regular life? He's in movies, he's famous, he can't do this, he's like, well I'll just be funny and talk to the crowd. And then maybe that's a way to adapt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, I think I've talked about it. I talked about opening for Paul Mooney on here. Oh wow. Uh, not opening for him, but we, so Paul Mooney, who just passed away, uh,


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[Assistant] This is like a legendary comic, uh, black comic, uh, if people don't know him. Like, he wrote for, yea, look at the camera.


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[Assistant] Uh, confirmed. And so he was like with Eddie Murphy and I mean, this dude's like a legend.


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[Assistant] And so he would do these Sunday shows. Remember the, he would always do like Sunday or something at Caroline's. So his audience would come and he would show up.


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[Assistant] Whenever. I know Jay, Big Jay opened for him once and they, when he goes up, they go, look, you might do five minutes and you might do an hour. We don't know. And so you just got to go up and that's hard. Like usually someone's, if somebody ever tells you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's his crowd. It's his crowd. And so, one show we're doing it, and he doesn't show up.


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[Assistant] And so they just put us, uh, cause they're like, well we got these people here, we can't have a show. So obvious his crowd is, uh, like him.


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[Assistant] And they're older too, like his crowd's older, and uh, I, you know, I don't think, they're not thrilled to be watching just a bunch of white comics. That's what they had to throw up, so we all just go up in front of Paul Mooney's crowd, and they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would you get, don't put us up there. Like, and they're like, well, I mean, we don't, what are we going to do? He's not here. And you are here and you are. And so they told them, some people left and some people were like, I guess I'll stay. And it just wasn't their cup of tea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. By the way, this is an episode about Seinfeld.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how I got here. Yeah, I opened for Bruce Bruce. That was the, the funniest. He was very nice. Didn't talk to him much. Was like kind of like going to his green room, going to the green McKay lines, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, that's good, man. He's like, good for you. Keep doing it. You know, like he was very polite.


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[Assistant] Uh, not in a bad way, I mean he's a dude that travels everywhere. Like you're, that's what they, some comics get so mad at headliners. Not like saying us, but like, even before I was ever headlining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just remember him being like, he never talked to me. Like dude, he has to talk to everybody every weekend. Yeah. Like you think he wants to talk to you've been doing coming six months and you got to go talk to this guy. Like, no, you don't, I would, it would drive you crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And it's, and you will, so just be like, how do I get his gig?


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[Assistant] You shouldn't be trying to say, how do I get on the road with that guy? It should be like, well, how do I become that guy? And that's what you do. And that's the problem. People just look at like, how do I become on the road with that guy? And you're like, well that's, that can end up being not working out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then so then you make it and then your feelings get hurt because you're got a lot more, you know, you look at it where you're like, I'm not relying anything on this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cool that I get to do this, and that's where it lies.


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[Assistant] Anything else is bonus. And just kill this show. Just kill this show. And so I went up and I go on stage, sold out, and it was good. And then, uh, when you bring him up,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think I was, I went up first and Mark went up. Maybe Mark was hosting because he was going to bring Bruce Bruce up. I was, Mark was farther along than me as a comic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think Mark, it's like that's part of the show is him being up there. Okay. And then, uh, so I go up, dude, like whatever. And then they go, all right, everybody's welcome to the stage. Bruce Bruce. They yell his name and he's in the green room and he's not coming. They start playing a song and he's not coming. And I almost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost, and thank goodness I didn't, went to him and said, hey, they said your name.


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[Assistant] Cause I didn't think, you know, I'm so new that I think like, I'm used to like, when I say your name, I'm sprinting to the stage. Of course.


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[Assistant] And so I almost, I don't know the theatrics of like what he's doing.


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[Assistant] And so, I mean, you know, I always thought I was going to go up to them and go, they said your name name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he gets on stage and like raps the last part of the song and then like that's it. It was pretty cool. And so it was like, oh alright. But it was a fun, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does pretty good, uh, with, uh, urban African American, black, all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Lance Armstrong. What? So, uh, I did his podcast. I've got to know him. He's come to a few shows and we were talking about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because when he was on, he was in doing, he was in Europe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, he was basically Seinfeld. At that point, you look at Jordan Seinfeld, Lamps Armstrong, like those are the... Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods was like coming right at the end of that. He was like 2000. But he was like, all that kind of was like, those dudes were the main dudes that anybody talked about. True. Uh, so he was gone, so he was in another country, so he's like, never watched it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All his references when you talk to him are like pre him going to start riding bikes. Like it's like old Eddie Murphy specials are delirious. Like it's the only thing he knows is he'll talk to you and be like, what about this? You're like, yeah, dude, that was the, uh, early eighties or right eighties. And he's like, well, then he became Lance Armstrong. So he's like, I was like, he did nothing. I was busy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he goes, what's, he goes, man, what's a great running back? You know, I go, yeah, well, a lot has changed. Uh, yeah. Don't be shocked to your system, but yeah. So, uh, all right. To get started, as you have a couple of comments, we're going to, we're only doing a couple, uh, cause it's a special episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, if you listen to Norman, uh, I mean, you're basically, you do get dirty, but you're kind of, I always told you, you can do a Tonight Show tomorrow.


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[Assistant] Take stuff out. And that's the part of his comic. There's a lot of comics that I think people think they're dirty, but they're the ones that don't always feel dirty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they, you know, like you, you've done a million like late night appearances, so you can't talk about stuff on there. Uh, so you're, uh, you're, you're, you would be one that's like, eh, you're, you're kind of a cleaner act, but you, you know, you curse and you have some other jokes and stuff like that. But you know, not too far, like Vecchione was just with us. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Killer. Mike is the same kind of, Mike's basically clean. Yeah. And like some of it is like, oh yeah, just be clean dude. Like, uh.


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[Assistant] That's all you want, because you don't want someone to be like, they're there for that. I mean, some people are there for that, and so you want those people too, but you want other people to not, because I think there's just a tarnish on clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like you're just, and no one's doing it. So why, why don't I just try to do that and go after that? And cause then you're going to get the people.


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[Assistant] That, you know, I want people that come to you, come to Tom Segura, come to whoever, tell, and then I want them to come to me. And like, I want us to all be like, yeah, we're all the same comics. Whether you want this or that or whatever, these are all great comics.


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[Assistant] I'm not saying me, I'm not trying to throw myself in that, but you guys, but you know what I mean, like you just want to be a great comic.


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[Assistant] Maybe one or two. And one of them I talked about.


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[Assistant] And that's on YouTube, uh, in that article that was written where he talked about it was like, uh, a joke about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, prostitution. Like, and I had something like that. It was, it was clean, but it was like on my edge, the edge of your side. And I, and then I had someone reach out and I like heard this girl's feelings and I just hated it. And so I, I mean, I've never really told that joke again, but it's, but it got taped at a comedy club. So it's like, it's not my video.


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[Assistant] I, it's not a bad joke, but it just was like mean, spirited. And I didn't like that. I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. Like, no matter what they, no matter who they are, whether they're that or they're in church or they're on the street,


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[Assistant] Like I don't, it's just not, I don't think I found it fun to be like...


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[Assistant] And so then I get to be the guy that, oh, you gotta go see it, walk through it, and you're almost playing that, you're becoming that niche. True. Or, you know, weirdly enough,


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[Assistant] As he would go up, it's very funny. The stories are very funny. Like I mean, he went on stage when he first started and he would look at the crowd and be like, no, I don't like this crowd and walk off stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you look and now you're like, that's hilarious, dude. That's so funny to do that. But then you're like, in that moment, you're like, well, he's not good enough to do standup. And I'm not trying to say anything, but it's like not to trash him or something. Like obviously he's hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, obviously he's like brilliant. Yeah. But it's like in that world you're like...


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[Assistant] You know, dude, I mean, yeaah, your job is to go do, to go perform for these people.


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[Assistant] Don't do that job. And he did it. He did this job. And this was the...


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[Assistant] Yeah, we, uh, but coming up with stuff now, I would say, I just don't, my mind doesn't really go to that.


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[Assistant] So, it's, you really put yourself in the position to be whatever you write is kinda what you think about. It's what you're looking for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm not, since I'm not doing any of that stuff, you know, I don't have any sex jokes or any, like that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just not looking there for jokes. And so like, I just don't, it just doesn't come into my mind. Not saying it never will. I don't know. I don't want to say anything, but I just, it would be very forced. It would feel forced. And so I don't, I just don't, it just doesn't pop in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's like, it's always helped you with late nights and stuff like that. You're just like, I just don't think like that. So, uh, not saying it's better or worse or any, I have no, but it's like, I'm just, that's how my, that's how I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well people are cursing sometimes now, it's like, some of them you're like, alright dude, it's too much.


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[Assistant] And then you're even, then it blows for the part where you, it blows it for when you actually need that work.


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[Assistant] Like the way I say like. Like you're just, you know, it's like just kind of a brain part where you just go like, oh, I'm just trying to think of something real fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are, as you said, you've always stuck by Cosby's side.


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[Assistant] I mean, it's, yeah, when, I remember when you, when he mentioned you on the Mets game. So they had, or do you have all this stuff for- I have that. Yeah. Do you want me to play it? Yeah, yeah. So this is a big one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As all three of us in this boat, that's our guy.


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[Assistant] That's so good, man, to have people like that that's with him that understand how, like they like you. Yes. And so then they go, he wants this. I had my, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know my old manager, Abby Robertson, if, here, grab that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She took this one and I'm always grateful for that. She took this.


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[Assistant] Hey, and I don't know if you can see it, but it was like, this is, I've posted it before, but it's like, uh, it's with Fallon and Leno. Look how young you are. Yeah. It's crazy. Man. It wasn't that long ago. That's a fad hungover name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those were the bad days. Uh, but it's like, so they took, so she took this picture and that was the situation where like all this was happening and you're like, well, if I'm lucky, I can get a picture on stage, but this picture is more important than the one that's on stage. And I'm always grateful that Abby took that picture because it was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Happy Robertson. Uh, cause it was just, yeah, it was enormous. Like it was just such a good.


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[Assistant] It was such a good, uh, that was such a crazy experience. Cause when you're around those guys, I've now like talked to Linda, like, you know, we, uh, he called, he'll call him. He just called you and, uh, and then we're meeting, we'll talk a little bit and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm always like great, you're always like, I can't believe I'm talking to you. It's uh, you know, you're like, this is, you just feel like you're like, dude, you shouldn't be talking to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's such a cool thing. Seinfeld is the one that I haven't met.


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[Assistant] I, I would be very, very jealous. I mean, obviously you, I wanna meet him, but I'd be very jealous for anybody else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're just like, for you and how you're like us and you're a big, big, big fan that you're like, I'm happy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're a good person. You want good people to, like, get this and you're a great comic and so you were like, man. And it's crazy because then you're like, that's such a big deal that I can't believe that I was able to talk to you about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Like you're like, golly dude, like Seinfeld's the dude. Like being starstruck, it's gotten, it's less and less. I don't get it that much anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that, but him, I would be, I would be able to talk to him, but it's like, that's all I want. I want to, like, I'm trying to open, I told.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I told my manager we're going to try to call him. Seinfeld watches this. I'll open for you any town you want me to come to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, yeah. See, I don't even know, like- I've heard that. I've heard him say it. There's a guy named-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he, uh, yeah, I want to, yeah, I just want to go out. I want to go out with him. I want to go do this. I just want to talk comedy. I don't even care if I open for him. I just want to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be able to go sit and talk comedy with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, yeaah, it's, yeaah, I'd imagine that, but it's nice to be able to have that, you know, I do, like, I had it with, uh, Chris Rock, cause I opened for him, and, uh, I just did the Dar in, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] DCC and that's where they taped Delirious and Robin Williams special and they did Chris Rock special there and a bunch more. I think Milaney might've shot something there. And then, uh, so I texted him that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a picture, they got a picture of his special up on the wall. And he's like, ah, because the main one was delirious. And that's still kind of crazy. Like, dude, I can't believe I'm talking to this. This dude, I'm taking a picture of his face from a special that he did. And then he's like, yeah, Eddie Murphy is the one, the important one. And you're like, just the fact that you're able to talk to a guy that has seen all that stuff. You're like, this is crazy, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They want this. They want this hang. When Foxworthy was with us, it was like, I think Foxworthy would come on the bus with me. Wow. Like Foxworthy, they're at a point where like career stuff is like, they've done everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They like doing comedy, so they like making jokes and stuff, but it's like, they're at the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so now what they don't get anymore is that. Yes. You and him sitting at a table. Yep. Talking comedy. And that's all any of us want. I know. And so. The hang. They like the hang. Yeah. And like so we had, like when we were at Foxworthy, I mean we were just all the, he's like the nicest dude. I mean he's another one that's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't believe I'm talking to him. I had his cassette growing up. It blew my mind. It's crazy.


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[Assistant] Just the names he's saying, you're like, you're like, is that guy alive? Like, you know, it's like the most famous people ever. He's not doing it in a bragging way. It's like, that's the life that he's kind of doing. And like, so it's just kind of a crazy, it's a crazy life, but he loves talking comedy. It was fun to like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, hear stuff that you're like, well, you would never say some of this out loud and you're like, but I trust you and you're like, oh wow. You're like, this is great. I mean, it's unbelievable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to talk to him about his New York days. Like what they did at the beginning. I've always wanted to know that because he's like, what are they getting paid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when did you start doing the road? Clubs like, you know, cause you don't know, like Eddie Murphy was always someone that you're like, you just figured he was famous immediately. And then, you know, talking to Chris Rock, you're like, no, he would go to stress factory and he'd go up there and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do something and you're like, what? And he was like running his act and you're like, oh. So like, he's a phenom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like even doing comedy, you're like, I can see how hard it is, but it's, you know, he's 22 and that special is legendary. Unbelievable. That you're going, maybe he is that good. Like I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's one in a million. Yeah, that's like, I mean with Cosby, which all, we keep referring, this is old Cosby, we're talking old comics, uh, one of Norman's heroes. Later stuff. Later stuff. But like, where did he go run? Did he ever run stuff? Did he ever...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you just did it on the road. Like you just have to do the road and


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[Assistant] It's a good point. Yeah, it's kind of chapelle-ish. And then, yeah, it's fun. You wanna come here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the special episode, but this is, uh, our daughter Harper. That's Mark. Harper. He hasn't met, she hasn't met Mark. We're just talking Seinfeld. She just got home from school. She got a softball game tonight. The Nightmares. That's the name of the team name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We ordered a painting that I thought, uh, uh, from using two different pictures of Harper and her favorite forest flame. Uh, it was...


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[Assistant] What do you tell someone if they're going back to watch it? If they wanna, the only thing I would say to watch the first two,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like they're bad. It's just they're shot very old. Like it's always just like a little different.


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[Assistant] I would say, look, it's not bad to watch the first two, just so you can get these characters, and I think you'll enjoy the rest of it more, because you really know who they are. If someone is like, I kinda know them and stuff, I'm always like, start at three, episode, season three. Agreed. Just start there and go. Three to seven is the best, that's the good stuff. Yeaah, I think, but I'll argue some, we can argue some eight and nine. Let's argue.


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[Assistant] How much do you want to work with that guy? Larry Charles is his name right? Yeah. Like you see him on something. I'm like, every time I talk about a TV show, I'm like, will he do it? Like I just want him to do it. And it's like, he's like doing so much of this stuff. You're like, I just want to work with him. Yeah. You know, like he's ridiculous. Looks like a guy that wouldn't have created. Yes.


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[Assistant] That's where stuff makes the best comedy. When you use a real person,


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[Assistant] Everybody can, everybody gets on board with that. Cause they're like, everybody's like, oh.


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[Assistant] Oh, you know what, he's like my, like if it's, if you're creating someone that's just a full blown character that's like doesn't exist, then we're just watching. But if you're like, oh, that, that was my real neighbor, you're like, oh, you know what, I do a guy that was kind of like that. And then like people are more invested because they just think of someone that they know.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. He's, I mean, he's done, uh, he came up with so much stuff and like, I mean, that whole series and that show is, I always say that everybody loves Raymond. It's like, I know it's an amazing show. I was at an age when that show came out that it was, I was probably.


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[Assistant] 20 or 19 or I was doing comedy, like, it was a lot, no, 2001 maybe when it came out. And then, uh,


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[Assistant] So it was like, I was like about to start comedy. I was just an age where I like wasn't watching TV like that. And I'll go back and watch it now. And I'm like, oh, this is unreal. How good this show is.


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[Assistant] And, uh, it's almost one I need to go back through all completely. But it's like, I just kind of like, I remember my parents watching all the time. He was like talking about a lot of his marriage and stuff. You're like, I just, you know, you're at that point, you're not married. I'm starting comedy. Uh, but now when I go back and watch it, I'm like, oh, this is, I used to want to go pitch shows.


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[Assistant] And I'd be like, let's just pitch him Everybody Loves Raymond and we'll change the names. Cause I always thought if you pitch a show, let me just, I'll just say the exact pitch of Everybody Loves Raymond and I won't say his name. Cause that's what they want. And you go like, you want to go like, I'll make that for you. You want that? There you go. You like that? I'll make that for you. Cause that's essentially what you're making anyway. It's going to be me in it.


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[Assistant] They're the ones that last. Those are all still on the air. Yeaah. They're the most watched. True. And they don't go back to it. And they have, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, so he did, well I had it with found, found, tried to do it, we tried to do it with me. And, uh, like that's when my two shows were found is like he wanted to be Letterman and Ray Romano is the way he looked at it. And they just, it didn't work out. But I, the problem comes when you pitched up, they always want multicam.


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[Assistant] Multicam lasts the longest, I mean we're still watching, Seinfeld just sold to Netflix. Yes. And so...


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[Assistant] They just like, that's how good that show is. Is that it's 25 years later and it's on and now the most, it's being probably the most watched show. So was Friends. All those shows. And then you go try to pitch that show now and they're like, nah, I don't think people are watching. You're like, well, they're still watching that one. So I'd imagine if you hang on.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I would have known before I got into it, but Multicam is you're on a set, everything's already built, it's in a studio, like, you know, you have four cameras, it's like a play.


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[Assistant] And then when you do it and I know it from my pilot and then, you know, maybe ours was good enough. I'm just, but like you go.


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[Assistant] They don't, and that's where Netflix is kind of moving forward is like they had, you know, that squid, I haven't watched squid games, but it's.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, someone said it's the most watched show ever on Netflix. Already? That's what someone said. That's what someone told me. That's going from...


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[Assistant] You know, bigger than the Super Bowl, you're like, how is that? Uh, what's another one?


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[Assistant] You gotta go with people you know, and that's tough. That's what always like you say, like you've put people's real names in. I don't know if it's, if it works out. Yeah. But, and you didn't put his, in his last name's Sansa, that's probably the mistake. Yep. Is you just go, just give him a different name. And then the guy could never know who it's based off of. He's in an episode.


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[Assistant] The ice cream truck. He's driving the car and he goes, hey, I got ice cream.


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[Assistant] Melting back here. I gotta go. It's some of them fighting for the parking spot. Uh huh. It's the parking spot one where they both, one backed in, one pulled in. And he goes, yeah, I gotta move it. I got an ice cream truck. That's him. That's Costanza. Yeah. Whoa. And so he, and then they moved the cars out and then they move them back exactly where they were.


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[Assistant] I mean, they might have been still friends at that point. Uh, that's hard, cause I mean, he's just looking at like, well, Jerry's based, I mean, it's tough, I, you know.


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[Assistant] It's one of those that like, look dude, you could have created a show about you, and then...


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[Assistant] There's Jerry and Larry David came on that show about you. He came, he added Kramer, Stanza. It's people in his life. Uh, you know, do you give them money? Like there's sometimes you just think like, do you just throw them some money? I mean, I've made so much, like, you're a big part of it. Uh,


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[Assistant] Or do you not? You know, it's tough. You shouldn't, you can't use the name. That's the, not only Kramer is such a good name, Costanza is such a good name. It's tough.


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[Assistant] But it's, it's, uh, you know, give them a job on the show. Like, you know, hire them.


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[Assistant] It's truth is what, like you're, that's why everything feels real.


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[Assistant] Even though it's crazy, and you just add a little more jokes into it, add a story with it, they go like, this is all based off something.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would imagine. I mean, look, it's always a tough thing. You always get lucky when you hear a bad story about someone.


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[Assistant] You always got to think, well, where are they at that time? Like he's, he's probably the busiest he's ever been in his life. The most stress on him he's ever had in his life. All this stuff, he's got his.


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[Assistant] It's kind of what comes with the territory and you got to be like, just be polite whether you want to do something or not and something gets, is inappropriate to ask.


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[Assistant] I can't imagine it's that inappropriate for Kathy Griffin to ask that. Uh, but it's funny that he made an episode about it and brought her back. So it's like...


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[Assistant] You know, you make it kind of cool in that way where you're like, Oh, you know what? Well, now you get a whole, I think few more episodes and people know her from Seinfeld now because of that. I don't know if you would have known her the first time. And then the second time with that one, like the storyline was like, Oh, this is great. You know?


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[Assistant] And that's what helps is like you're not, you're not, uh, you don't take things personally.


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[Assistant] And so you're not getting offended by something and you just go like, Oh, that's hilarious. You know what? Let's have her back on. And then that's, that's better than anything you would give her. It really is. Is that, and then you get to make fun of yourself and you know, and be like, it's always like good in that way.


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[Assistant] He wouldn't do it. He would be like, all right, what do you want me to do? Like, and then he'd probably just do something, you know, you could write some crazy stuff.


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[Assistant] Yeah, still died, but they got him there faster. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's crazy. Wow. Like how does it ever get to that? Life is long. Life is long. And then you get, uh, yeah, it's, it's, I mean at that point you're not even.


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[Assistant] It's not even a dream to meet him or become friends with him. Like there's no way. No way. And then you got to see. That's what I mean. We are turned a little bit before air. Like you look at goals.


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[Assistant] And that's how people gotta look at them. You gotta like, you can't just have a goal that seems like you can't be in high school going, I want to be friends with Seinfeld. That's impossible. And so you gotta wait and then you see when it opens up, you go, Oh, I can be friends with Seinfeld. And then.


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[Assistant] Then it happens. But you gotta wait till the door opens to be like, there, it's happened, you know? And then you kinda go from, like, you know, and that's just an easier way to accomplish things.


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[Assistant] Don't go, don't go too far ahead. Just be like, alright, if you can't go, I mean, I guess someone could think, well, I look at like how do I come from this side and then I figure out a way to do it.


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[Assistant] That's, you could do it that way. I guess if you think like that, I don't, I think like, just let me get to this. I don't even like, my goal is not even to, I mean, obviously I want to meet Seinfeld and I want to do whatever I want to open for you. I'll host for you and Norman in the middle. And then they, uh, but so I want to like do that. But as like, I don't think I could ever.


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[Assistant] Figure out like how to, like I would just be like, well I need to just do my own thing and then I will hopefully get to myself to a point that he will know who I am and then I will be able to somewhere, I will be able to somewhat meet him.


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[Assistant] And so that would be, I might be doing, he might be doing the stand up for heroes thing with Jon Stewart.


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[Assistant] Is he on that? He is on that, I think. I don't think he's listed. Is it Burr is on it? No, maybe he's not on it. I thought he was. Gaffkin is. Yeah. It's whoever they posted. Oh man.


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[Assistant] Well, it's alphabetical order. So that works out though. You don't, I mean, usually you're just not supposed to say that.


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[Assistant] Jerry. Come on. Just pop in, you're there, say hello.


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[Assistant] Underrated too. But he, he's like, that came up, I mean him and Regan, they came up in that Seinfeld era.


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[Assistant] I mean, it's not if I was older than them, but it was, yeah, it was like that, you know.


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[Assistant] Interesting. Yeah, maybe they did. They, that's tough cause it's like he was in one episode. And like, so it's like then just to get canned. I know. And then you're like, and then they hire better. Yeah. Like it just, it's like, that's what show business is like. You got to sometimes be like, yeah, dude, sometimes, you know, Ray Romano got fired from a show, or a news radio.


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, it's like they sit there and you're like, what if they tell her no? Like that's where you're like, if I was like, Hey, what if I just have my daughter play my daughter? And they're like, you don't want that because then they might be like, Hey, this ain't working. And then you gotta go get rid of your, you gotta fire your daughter. And so.


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[Assistant] You're, you're like, you just can't put that pressure, which art, the girl that did ours was great. And so.


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[Assistant] That wasn't going to come to it. But it's just even the idea of thinking that, I'd be like, I'd almost quit the show. That's what I want to, like, adults you get, but like a kid, you're like, hey, I can't do that. That's tough. I was playing a son.


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[Assistant] And uh, and there's one episode of, in that George's parents are not that.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah. That's right. Yeah. Oh, that's the episode that they did it. Yeah. Yeah. That's the, uh, I mean, unbelievable. He goes, yeah.


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[Assistant] Go, will you go? Like he's just like, I think that rhythm, right?


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[Assistant] Boca. They don't have anything in Boca. Exactly. It was gold. I mean, he was unreal, dude. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I guess. It's just a weird thing for them. I mean, that's, that's like one of those things that's like, that's a funny line. I don't know if you can make an episode about it.


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[Assistant] It's a very funny thing to maybe that's one storyline or something, but you know, you look at it and you're like.


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[Assistant] It would almost be like, it'd be a line that you're like, how quick do you think you can buy a gun? And everybody's like, I think it'd take me five hours, two hours, one hour. And then Kramer just walks in with a gun. And then you're like, all right, well, all right. So he wins and you go, yep.


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[Assistant] If someone has a gun, it's like, that changes the feel of what the show is.


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[Assistant] But he came back in a lot of episodes. It's almost like that was a set up for the rest of the show.


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[Assistant] Like it was, she was fun, it was kind of great, like it was, she was a different feel.


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[Assistant] It was almost like a good, it was just perfect in that scenario to be like, you don't want another Elaine. No, no. You liked her being like kind of out of it, a girl-girl, and then just being this kind of story.


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[Assistant] Well that's the, which we would talk about in my favorite episode, Andrea Doria. When he says, uh, you know, you gotta look at breaking up is the most important part of a release show.


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[Assistant] It's so, yeah, it's, I mean, it's perfect, dude.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I didn't love that episode. Shooting a star, I think. Shooting a star. Yeah. Pull an eyelash out. I like it because it always, it just, like when you go back to rewatch it, it feels different. Uh, I could see it being like, you couldn't watch it a ton, but sometimes it's like, feels nice to go back and like, oh yeah, this one is different.


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[Assistant] That's his least favorite. Oh, his least favorite, okay. Yeah, the pretzels making me thirsty though. That's what's crazy. Even in his least favorite, it's one of the better lines. Yeah, that one's stuck. These pretzels are making me thirsty. Yeah. Like them yelling, like that sticks with you. Oh yeah, for sure.


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[Assistant] Some of them is like, yeaah, it's a funny idea and it's like, maybe it doesn't play out as much, but it's a funny, the whole idea is great.


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[Assistant] That's where like, I know Raymond had a lot of stuff like that where you're like, that really happened. And so like, that's why this stuff works is like, when you write a show, and I think that's what hurts shows.


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[Assistant] Is they write these shows and they don't take anything from the writers lives. So all like, if you're a writer on that show and you're like, I like this episode, you're like, yeah, that's my life. Like, uh, office, when he walks into the water pond on, on video, like you remember the one where they show it on the mall. No, no. Yeah. Not the, not the one where Jim falls, but like he falls into another one.


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[Assistant] But the one in the office where Michael Scott walks, uh, he's in the mall and he's not paying attention, he walks right into the- The fountain? The fountain. Yeaah. And I believe so.


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[Assistant] Okay. And then, uh, there's a video of that and, uh, Halstead Sullivan, who I know was, he wrote that episode. Uh huh. And then he, he, that happened to one of his friends. Oh, there you go. And so they put it in that and it's like, so like everything's kind of got that kind of real feel to it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. He was hilarious, but that's funny that like, it's like they go, no Kramer spinoff, no, you think let's do Jackie Cha. I mean, maybe they're thinking like, well, there's the least about him. That's a big, big problem, man. Spinoffs, I mean, how many have worked? Frazier. That's it. That's maybe it.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, something like that. And it just went nowhere. They all did. Yeaah. You know what? Julia Striva said, she was amazing. Christine, that show was good, lasted a long time.


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[Assistant] She can do whatever she wants. Yeah. Kills it on curb, V like she can do, she's unreal.


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[Assistant] But she's like someone that you're like, so if she even, she came from that, you're like, she's got all this on her own. Like it's, you know, sometimes you always think that and you're like, oh, they got that cause they're blah, blah, blah, whatever. You're like, no, no, no, she's on, I mean, we're one of the better actors. Definitely. Comedic actresses. Yeah. I mean, not even close. Yeah.


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[Assistant] We gotta think, in that time, think about like, I mean that show's so big. Say you're an actress, right? And that's towards the end, so you gotta know this show's the hottest show on television.


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[Assistant] But if you're that actress and you're playing, like you're just not watching TV. And you're, you know, like I'm trying to think, what's the biggest show now?


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[Assistant] I mean that's an actress that like, her world is like, I don't know if she has time to watch TV. I guess I just think of her as a...


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[Assistant] I think that is probably more of what happened. I mean, you're going to get, how many people that are on that show, you're going to get the people that are like, yeah, I don't know what this show is. There's, I mean, I think about what the musicians, there's musicians, uh, that you see out now. I'll see them on like Fowl and then I'll.


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[Assistant] Like, look at who they are. They have 60 million followers. I'm like, I didn't know this person was born. And they're so not a re- like, so it's kind of, you go back and you're like, you didn't know they were the biggest band touring and you're like, I just wasn't paying attention. I didn't know. That's what I think.


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[Assistant] Well, you know, talking about Elaine too, he is another one that's like a comedic actor that's, he's so amazing.


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[Assistant] And so, I mean, they're all actually great actors. I'm not trying to say, like, Julia Louis-Dreyfus was able. Jason Alexander's done some other stuff. Uh, he's a great actor. He's a great actor. And so he's been able to do it. Yeah, he is a great actor. Uh, so not the same. They're not all, they're obviously all amazing actors, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus just seemed like she's spread out.


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[Assistant] And uh, like really shed her character. Every time you see Jason Alexander, you're still just thinking that. But he was great in that one, uh, he had a tail.


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[Assistant] Shallow Howl. Shallow Howl. He was great in that. That was a pretty fun movie. And like, uh, he was great in that. And I, I didn't really think of him being George there. Uh, and then Michael Richards, I don't, but I mean his early stuff being a, he was just,


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[Assistant] Is there some Fridays? Yeah, Fridays. Oh yeah. Yeah. Uh, so he was unreal in that you're watching old clips of that. Oh yeah. He's playing like a weight lifter and stuff. Yes. On Leno. I mean, it's unreal. Like he's, so he's, uh. Was he smoking or something? Yes. Smokies.


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[Assistant] He's someone that would be great now and he should do videos on Instagram that are kind of fake health videos. He would be, he would crush it on that because he's so, that's what he's so good at. And so now you can just sit in a studio and be like, let's just shoot a hundred of these and you just be funny. And he would be better than everybody.


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[Assistant] I mean, I can pull it up. Yeah, I don't even know. I mean, you look at Kramer's and he opens the door and he's like up against a wall.


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[Assistant] And so you're like, that one, you're like, well, that's not, no one's house does that, I think. Uh, but I never like really cared. No, no, it's about the jokes. Yeah. It's, uh, just click one of those links.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I see that. Like, uh, cause otherwise the hall wouldn't be straight.


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[Assistant] I mean, so his kitchen could exist, there's a little, there's a quarter of it that could exist.


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[Assistant] But, it's a television show, and we gotta make a show.


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[Assistant] Uh, and so you gotta have some exaggeration.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I would have noticed it either, but you just think like, this has got to be the last big pro, I would imagine last hurrah of selling this show. I don't know what you're going to do next. Uh, I mean, they're just older. I mean, maybe it gets sold again. You never know. But it's like, to me, it feels very much like,


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[Assistant] Netflix is the home. He has a great relationship with Netflix. It's like, I'm done. He gets one last big payment and he gets to be like, I'm not, I don't want to talk about this show ever again.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's, uh, there's, I don't think there is. I mean, his, his, his career is what you wanted.


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[Assistant] We wanted his career to be like, a show about him, and I always looked at it, you want a tour? I'll do a show about him, and about myself, and play myself, and then, you know, and then after that just to like,


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[Assistant] He played, he did B-movie. I thought B-movie was great. Like he did Comedian, that documentary, that changed my life. Like that's why I moved to New York. Uh, I moved to New York, I mean, months after I saw that. Yeah, I watched it in Chicago at a movie theater alone.


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[Assistant] Uh, I mean I went, like, during the day, you know, and it obviously wasn't...


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[Assistant] Uh, it's not like a big crazy movie. Most people didn't even know probably what it was. And I remember I went maybe with a couple people from my restaurant and I watched it. I have it on DVD. I watched it so much I could recite same lines from it. And then, uh,


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[Assistant] It was a big, big reason. I mean it was, I knew then I gotta go to New York.


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[Assistant] And so then I was like starting to figure out, all right, I gotta go to New York. That's where I gotta be. And it's because of that. I don't know if I would have known to go to New York. I don't remember exactly what I was thinking, but.


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[Assistant] I don't, like watching that, you're like, yeah, that's what I gotta go do. And so like that, that DVD affected my life and career. Like you, I mean, I'm where I'm at because I watched that and had to go to New York. And then that's how you, I think become a great comic is being around New York comics.


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[Assistant] It, it, yeah, it was, that was, I don't know if he's had a mistake in his career. I mean-


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[Assistant] Yeaah. But I almost think the marriage riff could have worked and it just didn't work at the time. Tom Poppa's great. They had Madonna, Larry David, like on, I think it could have, I think it was almost maybe a little ahead of its time.


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[Assistant] Uh, I saw something, I was watching Die Hard 2, and someone, uh, this woman's on the phone, I'm going through Die Hards now.


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[Assistant] I don't think I've watched any of them. I'm like Lance Arm- I'm the Lance Armstrong, uh, but I was just, I wasn't allowed to watch any of these movies. Oh, I didn't know that. So I'm catching back up. I mean, you just grew up. I mean, we, we're, you know, Baptists.


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[Assistant] Christian parents, like, it was, uh, my parents became Christian when I was born, like, so I was like, they, I just wasn't allowed to watch a lot of stuff.


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[Assistant] Which is fine. I don't have no, I don't have a bad upbringing because I had a great upbringing. But I just wasn't. So I missed, so everybody was like, how do you not see that movie? I was like, this is right in the prime of me not allowed to watch anything. Sure. So I would have never seen it. And then I just got out of, whenever I could, I just kind of started there and moved forward. I also don't remember movies to this part of that.


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[Assistant] But, uh, in Die Hard, she goes, one part she goes, he goes, you gotta do this, move something, like, you know, we gotta take all the calls in the, cause they can't use their phones in Die Hard 3, I think. And they can't, the police can't use their radars, so like every cop has to now call to the,


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[Assistant] Boards, like 911 boards. And then she's like, well, how am I going to handle all these calls?


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[Assistant] And uh, he goes, we got to do all these calls or something. She goes, oh yeah. And I'm going to marry Donald Trump.


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[Assistant] That guy was just, that was the line. He'd be like, oh yeah, you know what? That's, this is as easy as me marrying Donald Trump. Wow. It's funny to see that now. And then like, but at that time it was like, yeah, I mean, he was. He was a famous.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. So, uh, yeah, that's crazy.


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[Assistant] Jane Bruner, y'all, y'all trade, is that the one he traded for? Yeah. I mean, how good of an episode is that? Where George is dead. Right. And the first thing he says, how could you trade Jane Bruner?


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[Assistant] At the beginning it just, I mean, it's, it's, it never would have lasted now.


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[Assistant] I mean, you gotta hire the right people. There's a lot of stuff that is kind of luck. You gotta, you know, everybody's gotta work out. You gotta let these shows try.


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[Assistant] They would do three episodes and we're done. And you're like, nothing can be, Modern Family was probably pretty quick. It was out the gate. It was like, this one's a monster. Killer show. But yeah, now they don't give them a chance.


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[Assistant] It's great music, it's not words, it's just, you know, it's just the sounds, which is perfect.


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[Assistant] There's something in it that I don't mind. It's one that like, the Portland Day Parade one was one that, uh, I think I watched where you're like, did I ever see this one?


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[Assistant] It was, yeaah. And then, uh, and so then I watched it. I don't mind. What was in it? That was, I know it's the green saw, right? Penny packer. Penny packer.


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[Assistant] Mr. Pennybacker trying to use the bathroom. That's very funny. Uh, George has got the light. Yeah. He's got the maroon. Yeah. And then, uh, no, it's the maroon something. And I think Jerry's got the. Oh yeah. Jerry's got the black.


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[Assistant] And then, so, but the laser thing's very funny.


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[Assistant] Like he does, isn't that where he gets the, that's not where he has the line of like to walk out. That's gotta hurt.


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[Assistant] And then he goes back and does it again. About the Hindenburg.


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[Assistant] Yeah, very funny. That's a very funny story. George Costanza was, you know, characters, I think he's my favorite.


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[Assistant] I was a big Kramer guy, you know, but I, it makes me, which you want to talk about, well, uh, well, I just, the thing to talk about is like, you know, people don't like when the show, when Larry David left.


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[Assistant] Jerry did the right thing. He got all these great actors around him. He never tried to do too much. He just said I was kinda here just to kinda move y'all.


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[Assistant] That's what made the show. That's a hard thing to do. Jerry's ego could have came in and said, no, I want to be the star. Even though his name's on it, but he could be like, people like y'all more than they do me and I want the other way. And the show would have went down and he kept his ego out of it.


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[Assistant] That's, that, you know how hard that is? I mean, George has an ego. Jason Alexander, in fact, that he goes, am I going to be written out? These people are always super worried. And Jerry, and Jerry just knew like, it ain't about who's who. It's a great point. It's like, it's me. So.


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[Assistant] People just act like, well once Larry David left, it's not, Larry David's always in Jerry's, Seinfeld's good. You're like, you're out of your mind. They couldn't have done this. I mean, look at Kerb. Kerb's unreal. But what makes Seinfeld special is he made him do it clean.


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[Assistant] But then they had to do it where they chose all this other stuff and choose all these, the contest and all these kind of other things where they talked about all this kind of crazy stuff, but did it in a different way. And that was the appeal of the show. And uh, you know, like it's almost Larry's edginess.


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[Assistant] Needed, needed Seinfeld to kind of clean this and be like, we can create something amazing.


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[Assistant] You gotta have both. Curb is an amazing show. Curb will never be what Seinfeld is. Never. In a million years. So, they both created that.


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[Assistant] How, I don't understand how you like, I get like, the importance, I'm not trying to downplay the importance of, uh,


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[Assistant] Larry David, I think Larry David's unreal. And I mean, a guy that I would love to meet, I want to golf with. Larry David, if for some reason you've never watched this. Big golfer, I mean, I would just love to talk comedy.


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[Assistant] Uh, I'm a standup comedian. Uh, but you can, like with Jerry, it's like, they just dismiss, like, he's just nothing. It's true. And people want to, and you're like, are you crazy, dude? And so getting into once Larry leaves and then it's eight, nine, don't do eight, nine, dude. It's pretty great.


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[Assistant] There's a lot of crazy episodes. Uh, Season 8 is Andrea Doria. Yeah. I believe my favorite episode. That's Season 8. Yeah. Larry's gone. True. Look at 9. Didn't Larry come back for some of 9? A little bit of 9, yeah. But towards the end of 9, I didn't mind the last episode.


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[Assistant] I didn't mind it either. Yeah, I think it was a great idea to get everybody back in. Everybody's like, well, everybody didn't kind of like it. And you go back to watch it, you're like, it's actually a pretty great episode. And they're so brilliant. And this is back kind of where Larry comes in, but I'm sure he comes in with Jerry on this. They did a reunion show on Caribbean enthusiasts.


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[Assistant] To do a reunion show, that's not a reunion show. You do that friends reunion show, I didn't watch it, but that's like an interview and them talking. I don't care. My wife watched it.


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[Assistant] To do that. And that's, look, it might be Larry, I don't know, it's gotta be both, probably kinda came up with, you know, talked about that.


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[Assistant] So them together is the best option you can have. Yeaah, of course. And them separate, you know Larry was like someone that wanted to quit all the time and like, you know the headache of dealing with that, where like Jerry's got a star in this show, they gotta write this show.


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[Assistant] And then the main guy he's created with is just always threatening to quit. Which you need that guy that has that cause they got a lot of stuff through because of that. But that's a lot of stuff you throw on Jerry. And then the show's the biggest show on earth and you quit.


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[Assistant] They didn't dip. Look at the office. The office crashes. Oh yeaah. Crashes. Drops off a cliff. I mean like, cause Michael Scott leaves, but Seinfeld, they didn't crash.


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[Assistant] Season 8? Yea, Season 8. Season 8 was, uh, Seinfeld's gone. But I mean, you look at it like the foundation. How good is that? I mean, that's where she dies on 7 and they come back out with the foundation. The Soulmate. Bizarro Jerry. The Little Kicks episode's an amazing episode. Oh, that was a hit. The package.


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[Assistant] The fatigues was where they were trying to get them to cook. The chicks. The chicken roaster. The chicken roaster.


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[Assistant] It's season eight. Uh, Andrea Doria, my favorite episode. Cause it's the one where I feel like it's the most flawless of everybody's stories. I need to probably go back through and maybe rethink that.


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[Assistant] But that's the one, the Van Buren boys. The comeback where he goes, that's what I should have said. He goes, hey, the jerk store called. Uh, the Susie, the pothole, the English patient was like, I didn't care about, uh, yada, yada, yada. I mean, the millennium, the muffin tops, the summer of George. I mean, it's, it's unreal, dude.


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[Assistant] They're unreal. They're great. Look at the bottom of 9, like the start of 9, cause he didn't start at the beginning. Then you got the butter shade. Oh yeaah. The voice. A lot of people love the voice. Hello. Hello. I was never a big fan of that voice, but it's like the idea of that show. I like that whole show. Yeaah. Uh, the blood. The blood's a great show. Like he puts blood in his car.


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[Assistant] And he goes, and they're hiding blood, and Jerry's like, is it in here? Is it in, like, uh, the junk mail? Uh, the Murph Griffin Show!


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[Assistant] That's- you say that all- Merv Griffin episode is unbelievable. Uh, they have, uh, The Slicer. Oh yeaah. A great line in The Slicer where they're sitting there gonna-


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[Assistant] He's going to put that to just, uh, they slice the food for the cat and he needs to get in the house that to do the electricity. That scene is so good. So Kramer's like, why don't you do it? She goes, no, you just do it. He goes, I know, but you're.


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[Assistant] And he goes, alright. And then he goes, just the way he shots, he goes, oh, you alright? And he goes, yeah. Uh, the strike, the dealership, they're verse people. Verse people's great episode.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, Strongbox, Wizard, The Burning, The Bookstore, The Frogger, The Frogger!


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[Assistant] And so you go, just go kind of to the end and like see if they, uh, yeaah. So Larry Dave, did he come back in just for the final? He did. I think he did, yeaah. So that whole thing, the clip show is like obviously just whatever. The Puerto Rican Day Parade, they all wrote. I don't think it's bad. It's like,


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[Assistant] Yeah, a lot of people in on it, but I mean, they're at the end. The Frogger is a great episode. These are great episodes, man. Like these are, I argue that these are some of the most lines said are from this. All that stuff. The most famous lines are from eight and nine. And so people just act like Seinfeld's a joke.


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[Assistant] Yes. How could two streets intersect each other?


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[Assistant] That fire department that's just in the west side. You wouldn't call that fire department for the battery department. You'd call one of their fire departments. So he knows west side where they're at.


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[Assistant] And then the joke of it is like, well nobody, you know, but he thinks battery, battery park down all the way down by wall street is a different area. And then if you're in New York, it kind of, there's times people are like, uh, they could be like, I ain't been down past 14th street in two years. Like they don't know what's down there. Right. Cause it's like, you don't end up going down there. That's very New York.


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[Assistant] And so if the line was maybe one of my favorite, there's a few favorite lines.


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[Assistant] But when he goes, why don't you go to a doctor? He goes, I'll take a, so he's going to go to a vet over a doctor. He goes, I'll take a vet over a doctor any day. They got to cure a chicken, a dog, a turtle, a frog, all in the same day. And he makes a point there where you're like, yeah, I mean, I guess they are versatile.