[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. So my youngest, every time she plays, she wants to help out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With your city. So you build a city and she'll like join in. I'm like, no, no, don't, don't put it there. You, you want to go here cause you've got to get your guy in there and then we'll work together. She's like, oh right. Okay. And my wife always tries to build these cities on her own and I'll always, always, always, always try to screw over Mrs. F's city by like, she's almost finished it and I'll just put that one tile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great, you can really screw people over by looking at the tiles that are out and thinking what's left to come. Like there's one tile that's just city, the entire thing is city, and I always think it's funny when you know someone's waiting on that tile, there's only one of it in the entire set, and you just eeeh, just yoink it for your own city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever play Talisman, the board game, Talisman? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not a big fan. Oh, I'm not a big fan. There's all these extra expansions. I'm wondering if my kids are on, because I got the original edition Talisman I bought on eBay years ago, and I've never played it with anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's one thing I will say though, I grew up with Transformers, He-Man, G.I. Joe, Thundercats, none of those are gonna make a good board game. I grew up with it, but I don't give a shit about it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, let me make my point. My point is that those things didn't have anything really to them. So the enduring appeal of Pokemon must be because it has more to it. Like, it's not just that they grew up with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, two meters away, you gotta be, you gotta be two meters away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people are going nuts, yeaah. I had a bit of a, I had a bit of a wobble like the other day, but it was just because I hadn't gone outside for like quite some time, you know? Cause there's just, you're not really meant to go outside, so I just haven't been going outside, like less than normal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I thought, you know what? I gotta get out. I gotta go out and I gotta like, play some frisbee with my kids or something, you know what I mean? So I did that. And uh, I felt a lot better for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder how, so I wonder how life is for people who partake in the art of dogging, like public, um, public dogging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How does that- I wonder how that works out, like, now. There's gotta be like a secret underground resistance of people sneaking out to do things that they would normally do outside, right? Of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How the hell are people buying drugs? Like for example, they have to, you know, they got to go out and it's like, you know, it's hand to hand as well. There's no two meters when you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, more abilities now, uh, to, to arrest people when they think that they're breaking the laws of quarantine stuff. Over here they arrested three people and one guy they arrested just for sitting in the park, not exercising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was sitting on a bench in the park. There's gotta be more to it than that. I don't think they just like swooped in with the helicopter and like cuffed him and like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well nobody's gonna stop you buying that. In fact, you'll probably go and you'll find that nobody else has bought any because they're gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't buy a bunch of milk and then just like sneak an easter egg in there as well. And then when they look at you, they're like, just say, it's just a guilty pleasure. You know, just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like big eggs, the egg lobby. In these troublesome times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing I've fought, like with this, with the coronavirus and the lockdown and everything, it's so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Valorant, have you guys seen this? Have you guys seen the new Riot shooter game? No, I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it looks like a mobile game from ten years ago. Right. I don't understand the hype, I don't understand why. Is it Overwatch? It's Overwatch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was over a million people watching people playing it yesterday and I just don't get it. I feel like, I feel maybe like I'm old and I'm just missing out on something or whatever but it just looks so utterly unappealing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but here's my point. Those games are, are like, they, they look good and they, they play well and they look like, they look like big budget titles. This game does not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It act- it just looks like a free to play Chinese game. Like from 10 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, another interesting aspect of this is that it has such high viewership, but it's artificially inflated because they're doing these drops. It's got drops enabled. So what they're doing is for the closed beta, you can get access to the closed beta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Via a drop on Twitch, right? So you, you have to link up your Riot account to your Twitch account and then you have to watch streams that have drops enabled on it and you have a chance for like a beta key to, to, to drop while you're watching sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it has like this, this, the tremendous amount of viewership, like, I think Tarkov had the same thing recently, and I know like when Apex came out, you remember when Apex Legends came out, how big it was?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy though, but you gotta, you gotta like wonder how much, how many, how many people are there actually watching or how many people are just like, you know, AFK while uhm, you know, they're hoping to get a drop or whatever, you know what I mean? They're just like leaving the stream on but not, not taking part in it sort of thing, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, clearly it works. Like, you know, there's a lot of people being like exposed to this game and like people, a lot of people seem to be going crazy for it, but I just, I just don't get it. Like it just doesn't look that great. Like it doesn't look like it plays well. It just, I mean, I could be completely wrong. Like maybe if I try it out, I'll like it or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I'm going to this weekend though. I've promised my son that we're going to buy it. Because, well, like the, so the big thing was we went to the, before like the lockdown and quarantine and stuff, we were out, we were in town and, uh, Animal Crossing had just come out and we went to the store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, they were sold out of it and my son was like, oh, you know, I really want to get it and stuff. And I was like, I know, but like, you know, sometimes it's good to wait for something. It's good to like look forward to something and wait for it. You know, like we live in this world now where you can just like buy something instantly, download it, you've got it or whatever. I think it'll be good for you to like wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's like more tangible and stuff. And he's like, yeah, yeah. Okay. Like he wasn't like too happy about it, but like he understood like we're an eight year old to understand. It's like pretty good. Uh, but then, well, of course the lockdown came in and all the stores are closed and everything now. So I, so I just caved and I said, okay, well we'll download it like on the weekend and we'll play it and stuff. So he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shitting his pants. Like every time I go in the house, he's like, Dad, is it the weekend yet? It's like, no, it's Tuesday. Like, come on. He's like super excited. Can't wait to play Animal Crossing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean even with Valorant, like I'm, I'm, I'm flaming it, but I'm not really, like it's, it's for me, it's for me, it's my personal sort of take that like it just doesn't, but like I can understand why other people would find, you know, be hype for it, but I'm just like, I just feel left out cause I don't feel like any sort of like hype around it whatsoever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like games like that, like those sort of mystery games. Did you ever play the Vanishing of Ethan Carter? That was a good one as well, I liked that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but when you, when you're using your own hands in real life, obviously everything is, doesn't seem so fucking cumbersome and annoying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like even like VR, you know, when you pick things up in VR, everything feels very like, it's cool, but it feels very labored and unnatural, right? Like it's, it's not like, nothing beats your real hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's weird. I have no allergies normally, but the past like two, three days I've been sneezing and like, it's like hay fever or it's like allergy season, right? It is. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Xylus has been absolutely sneezing his butt off. Sneezing his tits right off. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that probably, I think if anything, this will probably highlight the fact that working from home, more people could probably do it and it would probably cut down on a lot of like congestion, traffic, pollution, all that kind of stuff as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people will probably be happier, healthier for it and stuff too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found a character in Mountain Blade Bannerlords called, uh, first name Para. P-E-R-A. Last name, Flatcakes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's well, cause like I said, it affects everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you notice that like when you are out and about and you're socially avoiding people, you notice that people are a lot nicer these days?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People say hello to you more and stuff like that. I think it's like there's cause there's like all of a sudden everybody shares this common ground. Like we're all going through this thing at the same time. So everybody's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, happier to see people or just more up for like saying hi and stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like I think it's, it's, it's, it's not, it's not bad. Like, like I said, people are just seem to be more friendly, you know, like there's, they give you sort of like a knowing, um, hello or sm or like a smile or whatever, because I think everybody just realizes, hang on, like this sucks for everybody sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My son was playing Minecraft on his Switch whilst FaceTiming his friend who was also playing Minecraft on his Switch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They weren't playing together, like they were just like playing together through FaceTime sort of thing, but like not connecting to the same server or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's a, it's a common thing for grownups to place like grownup values onto children who have no concept of grownup values, right? Right. Kids are very adaptable because they know they don't know any better. They have no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, I mean, yes and no, because it's... Because we're just big children. Yeah, but I mean, we, but we in a lot of cases know better as well, right? Like it's impossible to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's impossible to like it, like capture that the essence of a child because there's, there's, there's elements of that that are just impossible for, for adults to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they don't get it. Like, if my wife takes my kids out for their daily walk or whatever, she's like, okay, you gotta be careful, you can't go near anyone. And they sorta understand that, but they completely forget themselves all the time. Because they've been conditioned to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it's, it's the way that it goes sometimes like with this stuff, you know, like you can't, like there's, there's definitely like an element of, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like, uh, well, human nature with all this, isn't it? Like, we are morbidly fascinated with things and like, we, we, we...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our brain is, like, addicted to, like, uh, in some ways things that make you, like, uncomfortable or things that, like, you know, might, like, make you feel anxious or whatever, like, uh, like it tries to trick you all the time and it's, like, it's up to you to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To trick it into, you know, doing positive things instead and focusing on other things that will actually make you happy and not just make you miserable sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get two hours of exercise a day allotted to you through this, uh, quarantine flax. Why aren't you outside running laps for two hours straight, getting all sweaty and stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's parts of it that are actually fun, like the battles and stuff are quite fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just want to create a kingdom, you know, and then- Have you not done that yet? Yeah, no, I've created one. I've got a couple of cities and stuff. I just want to, I just want to see how far I can go with it and then move on. Train station renovation, uh, the game is, uh, is coming out at the end of this month. So that'll be, that'll be the next one for me. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get to fix up the trains and you get to clean up the stations and get it all running again and stuff. Perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was great too. You get, you get like a tip off that there's that, uh, old Panzer tank buried in a field in the middle of Poland and you have to go out, you gotta drive out there with your equipment and you gotta power wash it and everything and bring it into the workshop and like, you know, get all the rust off of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just asking for all of these old, old German tanks to be. Yeah, we know who that is. Yeah, we, we do know. Yeah, it's Rand, Randolf Schottler, of course, from Germany. So uhm. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See you, see you next week where hopefully we won't be uhm, just in quarantine talking about this, uh, this virus. Hopefully, uh, but they're saying like, uh, first of May, like, uh, is, is, is the new sort of like- We'll see. Potentially lifting the lockdown sort of thing, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta say, uh, get with the program, computer program, in brackets, before program. It's a funny joke!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have fun on this podcast. It's about jokes and, uh, Debian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a box that he said was the most efficient gear system in the world and he said if we put this into wind farms and stuff like that, these gears are so much more efficient


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were like, can we see inside? He was like, no, that's all proprietary knowledge. And they were like, did you have a business plan? He goes, no, I'm not a businessman. I'm an inventor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what I've invented here is, uh, a gear system that is, and they were like, no, no, we understand that. What do you want us to do with it? Do you have a patent on it? And all this kind of stuff. And he was just like, no, no, it's just the box. He had nothing. He had no presentation. He just, imagine he essentially brought in an empty shoe box. A magic box. He wouldn't show them what was in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he wanted a ton of money. It was hilarious, they were like, no. And I'm thinking, what if that guy's box really was the future of gears and was incredible and he was just so bad at selling the idea that that's that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at Marconi, dude, look at Marconi, the dude that everybody thinks invented the radio and everything, but he didn't, right? Marconi was, I watched this, there was a thing on BBC 4 or whatever, the channel is 7, BBC 12, the one that's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Marconi basically lifted all these cool ideas that science had come up with about the radio, and he knew how to sell. And this guy, I was hearing about it, Oliver Lodge was his name. He did loads of stuff for the radio, like he was one of the absolute pioneers of radio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he comes up with all this stuff, he's like, wow, this is fantastic, people are gonna love this, and he goes, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And ended up buying a bunch of Oliver Lodge's shit that he patented. And it was just like, if you don't have the wherewithal to sell your shit, I'm super sorry, it sucks. But, you know, some other fucker's gonna get there first. And probably do it worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If something lands in my inbox, I've developed a system for completing the work, I simply pick it up and move it to my outbox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the in-tray to the out-tray. Job done, lazy man succeeds again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, headache's gone now, perfect. Whack his head back on, stitch it up, Frankenstein style, bit of electricity to get him going and off you go, shop done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, you know what I think it is, mate? They're more interesting people. Cause you got, you got something else you want to be doing. Yeaah. It doesn't, it happens to not coincide with this boring ass job you've got to do. That's it. So you want to get it done quick. You want to get home. You might want to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People in a panic will apparently use cling film as a desperate last ditch. I've gotta have sex if we don't have a condom. Shout out to cling film, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mrs. F made a rhubarb crumble last week. It was delicious. Didn't put it on the ledge to cool. Put it on the fucking next to the oven. Unless your entire kitchen is itself a gigantic walk-in oven, which sounds like the worst. I mean, they've got walk-in fridges. No walk-in ovens. Think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that would be oven, yea. Like pasties. What's the difference?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you what the difference is, if it's meant to be crispy at all, that will not happen in a microwave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The microwave decrisps because it makes it, it heats up all the moisture and that kills the, by heating up the moisture in the pie, I think what happens is it, it vaporizes, gets into the, soaks into the pie crust and makes it go soggy. Because if you put pizza in the microwave, it comes out soggy. Pies, soggy. Patsies, soggy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got a new appliance on Father's Day. A pizza oven. Right. Used it at the weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And at the back, you put the fuel in and get a fire going, and the fire sort of goes along inside the, uh, the oven. Is it outdoor? It's got a little chimney, and it's got a door, like, you know, with a little wooden handle for you to open and close with a temperature gauge on there, and in the middle is a stone, like you said, a piece of stone. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we, like, we made the dough, stretched it out, rolled it out, put it on. I'm not kidding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This actually was one of the best pizzas I've ever had. I know that sounds stupid, because I made it myself, but it's super fresh, it's cooked just right. The dough is, this is the only way you can get the dough like this. It was so good. It was so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got to keep tipping them in the back to keep the temperature at about 200. If it's not 200, the piece is not going to cook properly. You've got to get it, you've got to keep it at a steady temperature. Too hot and it just burns, too cool, it doesn't really cook. So it's got to be 200. But you've got to just, basically it's a two person job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need someone just tending the fuel all the time watching the temperature while the other person is getting the pizza dough rolled out, made into pizzas and put in. It's definitely not a one person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the instructions on the back of the, the thing, like, you get a little manual, and it says, uh, light the pellets or fuel with a, a taper, such as a newspaper, whilst wearing fireproof gloves. And I'm like, jeez, come on, dude, you don't need fireproof gloves to light a fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couldn't get these fuckers to light. Just could not get them to light. In the end...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Luckily, I have a bottle of isopropyl alcohol lying around in, in the, uh, the, the old, uh, cleaning cupboard there. Cause it's good for getting stickers off of surfaces. If kids ever put a sticker on something and you can't get it off, you get the isopropyl alcohol, soak a little on it on a little sponge or something, put it on the sticker. The whole fucking thing comes off like that. It just kills the solvent. So I have that lying around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, what if I just fucking soaked some of these pellets in this alcohol? Let me tell you something, friends. That got the party started. Foomp. Huge ball of flame. Nice. And the pellets took off. A mini nuclear explosion in your backyard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't have to commute. I mean, I know Lewis, you have to go into work, but it's like a 10 minute walk or a 20 minute walk or whatever. It's not that bad. If you compare it to some people who've got to go like an hour and a half, two hours or whatever, all this driving and shit. I can imagine them thinking, fuck a pizza oven. At the weekend I just want to lie down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those lads, I mean men can have babies for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, if you wanna talk to me about being too lazy to make pasta and pizza, having a boat is a fucking job, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the whistle for, that's the whistle for the captain who supported the ship, I believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was recommended a YouTube video the other day of the Coast Guard in America trying to stop a mini-sub. Wow. That was, like, drug smugglers, they had a fucking little mini-sub and they're trying to take it underwater and this lad, one of the Coast Guard lads, is on the outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, these lads didn't even realise that if there are people, if you're on the surface and there are people on the boat telling you to get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One power is cheap, and those people wanna get into the country anyway, so you're like, here's what we're gonna do. You wanna go into America? We're gonna strap you full of drugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean they had that thing where they can turn cocaine into, like they can injection mold it. Like they found a way to liquefy it, injection mold it into shit, and then-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, also useful for farming. So we're gonna head, uh, we're gonna head over with our co and our cane and our, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take off with drugs on board, land, drop off the drugs via Raspberry Pi interface, of course, and then take off again and land back in Mexico.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that the future is actually that they're just gonna legalize all this shit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you decriminalize it, at least, having it doesn't mean- like here's what I was thinking the other day, let's say, uh, cause in America you get banged up a lot, like there's a lot of fucking people in jail in America, they've got the biggest prison population in the world, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're definitely at the forefront of the war on drugs, as it were, because they've got their whole border is South America, right? Yeah. Central and South America. It's like drug central. A lot of those countries produce an awful lot of the world's cocaine and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What should be ibuprofen and a sit-down and just be patient is, well, we're gonna pump you full of morphine, cause...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but if you legalize drugs and you allow companies to make synthetic versions of those drugs or to make some fancy new drug, imagine if Coca-Cola put cocaine back in the coke. You know what I mean? What would that change? If people are doing coke anyway, if you could now buy special cocaine plus Coca-Cola.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the deal? Like, uh, I've been trying to think about it. What would be the end game? Would it make things better? Would it make things worse? Are we better off with drugs being illegal? Give the number of people that die the number of assholes that make money from the drugs trade. If we take that away, what are they gonna do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, here's the thing, how many people do you know that, that smokes some weed and then think, I fancy some fucking, uh, bath salts, actually. You know, this weed has got me hankering for some bath salts and they take something that's really gonna fuck them up. Like I don't necessarily see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if the idea is, oh, we can't sell this because it causes lasting damage, we already sell lots of shit that causes lasting damage. Cigarettes is a prime example of a very bad fear. Alcohol is a prime example. Fatty foods. We let people drive cars for God's sake. Cars are incredibly dangerous. Any old fucker can drive a car. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At all. Like, I really don't know. I would want to know what would happen if you decriminalized all these drugs. Would people suddenly start doing more of them? Would you do heroin if it was legal? Or is what putting you off the idea that you don't want to be spending the fucking rest of your life on heroin?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you gotta fight this war on drugs, which is putting people in prison, which is costing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trillions of dollars globally to, to fight this, uh, and it's not working. It's clearly not working. I mean, there's, there's still, it's not like drugs is a thing of the past now because we've been fighting it for 40 years. It's still there. So what's, what's, what are we hoping to achieve?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're happy to see the money go on the war on drugs. So if you stop the war on drugs and spend that money, as you say, on helping people to not be poor and desperate and shit like that, would that kill the drug trade in itself? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you've grown up with shitty parents who do crystal meth and shit like that and all your friends do, you're gonna do it. Like that's pretty much the way it is. Like if you grew up in a puritanical place where nobody drinks and smokes, you're probably not gonna do those things either. Like people, people are influenced so much by what they see growing up. It's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if your parents smoke, you're much more likely to smoke, right? Both my parents smoked growing up, so as soon as I was old enough to smoke, I started smoking. If they'd been doing shitloads of, uh, heroin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could smoke everywhere. I remember going to New York. New York was the first place I went to where there was, I was in a restaurant and I couldn't smoke there. It blew my mind. And when I went out on the street to smoke, this one was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me and, we used to go to, uh, there was a, me and Mrs. F and a couple of our friends back in Bournemouth that we were at college with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just smoking our arses off and talking. Yeah. And it's weird to think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That we were thinking, let's go somewhere and sit down and just fucking smoke and drink tea. That's what we're gonna do. We're just gonna go smoke and drink tea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, when we went to Berlin, was it last year or a year before? The TwitchCon. I guess it must have been two years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me and Tom went to a pub in Berlin where you could just, there was a smoking room. Indoors, underground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was always the worst. Whoever came up with the idea of getting people out of the nightclub at the end of the night by just turning the fucking lights on, genius. Cause the moment you see it in the light, everybody looks all dingy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's amazing to think that people used to think smoking was perfectly good for you. Like it honestly is one of those things that even while you're doing it, it's kind of a badge of honour with smokers that you don't care, right? I don't fucking care, I smoke em, uuuh. But you do, I mean it is obviously bad. Like I know vaping probably isn't good for me, but I really fucking love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a state by state thing. I know that there's places in Florida you can smoke. There are bars I go to when I see my dad. There's a couple of bars you can go and you can smoke in the bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that seems to be, smoking in Germany, when I, when I was there, I'm always surprised how many people smoke there. Like I always thought, like when I go to Sweden and stuff, they all do in the snooze, right? They're not, you don't see many actual smokers. You just see them with their little pouch they tuck under their lip. It's disgusting. You see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't see that many smokers. You do see some, but when I went to Germany, it was fucking tons. I was like, wow, people love smoking in Germany apparently. I was kinda surprised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wouldn't you just, if you get 60% return, I mean, you're getting a return, you're getting a 10% over the odds, right? On heads, yeah. Yeah, so if you just keep betting forever, you're gonna make money, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, wait, so why wouldn't I? If it's got a 60% chance of winning, why wouldn't I just do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you get to a point where you're very rich, which he was, and then you just don't make shit decisions, which a lot of people do, like if someone comes to you with a business plan that just doesn't really make sense, just don't invest in it. Most of the ones that fail, it's like, how did they ever think that was gonna work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they managed to find people that are gullible and stupid and give them the money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, you're surrounding yourself with people who are going to say, here's a really good investment, sir. Oh, that looks good. Yeah, brother, I've got no money. Bye. Bye bye bye. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Open fire, open fire. It's another one, it's another one. It's gotta be like episode 130s, 50s, whatever, fuck. Yea, it's a lot of numbers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, same. It's just always like, hey, hey, I was listening to Triforce here. And it's always, it's like a picture of some nice outdoor place or whatever. And that's, that's about all I get these days. I like that. We asked for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been, I've just been using Twitter a lot less, uh, recently as well. Just because like, I don't know, I like, I go through phases with Twitter. Sometimes I'm like, yeah, it's great. Like, and, uh, and I use a lot. And then other times I'm like, oh, it's miserable. I don't want to read anything on it. Like I go out of my way to avoid it and stuff. Like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I think it's just like the, I think it's just like the peaks and troughs you have mentally, just in general. And social media is a good one to get in there when you're feeling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sick of having, I'm sick of having people just constantly banging on about issues and drama and shit like that. You know what I mean? Like when your timeline is just full of it, you just think, man, there's just more to life. It's overload. Yeah, it's just too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, not behaving well or whatever. I don't know if there's a pet one. I'm sure there's probably a pet one. Uh, and then there's definitely the bootcamp for overweight people, right? They want to, they go to those, those uhm, they're like retreats, right? But it's always an ex drill sergeant that just drills them to death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was on set to, uhm, to advise who, like, you know, as like, in, in like a, like a, sort of like official, like, I've been a drill sergeant, this is what would happen sort of thing. Yeah, yeah. And then, uhm, I think when, I think as he was like advising- Kubrick was like, he's great. Yeah, he saw that he was really good, he was like, do you want to- But you know, he played a drill in school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a different approach I think, you know, they do like that, uhm, it's like almost like a, like a, like a class thing brought into it as well, you know, like, it's like, like a, the, the gentleman, uh, officer or whatever, but like instead of screaming at you, he has to like, he has to like, outwit you constantly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of Ross Kemp, I've been watching Extras, which I've never watched before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's, uh, it's, it's, it's been really, really good. I'm, I'm just at the Christmas special, like the, the last episode, I guess, or was there two Christmas specials? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, the Ross Kemp episode was pretty funny. I like how you just, you know, you think you know these people and like, I know it's fictional, but it's just a funny take on like, you know, how different people are behind the scenes to, you know, how they portray themselves like in, in films or TV shows or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean the, like the office extras, these are all like, the people in them and the attitudes and the personalities all have to be loosely related to like real life experiences, right? Like it's, I think it'd be hard to just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, it's kind of funny to think that maybe he's known people or maybe he himself is like, uh, how he portrays himself in some ways, or maybe that's how he thinks he is, or like seen by other people or something, like it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like even Curb Your Enthusiasm, I'm not actively cringing while I'm watching it, even though there's probably parts where you're meant to or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I just find like I was watching like the British office recently and extras and there are moments where I'm in actual pain from cringing like, you know, it's really, some parts are just like horrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think partly it comes down to like British culture in a way too, because there's definitely a passive element, you know, if somebody was saying something that was like really like cringe worthy or upsetting or whatever, there might not be an immediate reaction, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same, it's like, it's pretty rough, but it's clever too, it's funny. But, uh, yeaah, it's just, there's just definitely contrast between like, uh, like any other show I've seen, and those ones specifically, man, there's definitely some moments where you're just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's, there's the comedy, the comedy elements to it. There's a lot of like, I don't know, like, there's like a lot of slapstick thrown in there too. It lightens it up a little bit, I guess. You know what I mean? Like, I think, I think with, especially stuff that Ricky Gervais does, like everything is so sort of, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a surprisingly reasonable take from you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a, it's an odd one. I think like, I think, I think, I think one of the biggest problems is uh, soda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should, they should try to like, spice it up, you know? Like, why not, why not have like, a gamer version called G-HULE and stuff like that, you know? Like, just, they could really go places with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or is it just, it's just some slop that you stir up and then you just eat it like porridge or whatever. That's right, it's like, it's like, it's like made out of, of uhm. Why not just get some fresh vegetables and make like some salads and stuff? Alright, here's one reason. That would taste way better, I'm sure. Here's one reason. And probably cheaper too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is where, this is where we become like the people on the movie WALL-E, you know, just eating some fucking slop and drinking soda all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm just saying you don't have to necessarily have the hule. There's lots of little snacks that you can have in between that are probably going to be way better for you if health is what you're worried about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't have any junk. We don't have junk in the house. So when I go to get a snack, it's usually just like carrots or some shit that's in the fridge already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What meals are you making a day? Like what are you making? Like a cooked breakfast? And then what are you having for lunch? Like I have toast for lunch, normally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's bad as well. You shouldn't skip breakfast. It's like, they do say it's the most important meal, but it is. You need to, you need to have some food in you after not eating or doing anything for like 12 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you should have something in the morning though. Even if you don't feel hungry, you should have something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would I eat otherwise? Because I think the problem is if you leave it and leave it and leave it, when you do come to eat, and this is the trap that a lot of people fall into, when you finally do come to eat because you're hungry, you eat way more than you should because you're fucking starving because you've left it too long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't eat in the morning after you've slept and everything, your body's gone for like 15 hours without any food. So when you do get to lunch or whatever,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're doomed. Man, we're, like, fuck, you gotta lose so much hope for the human race when, like, we can't, people just can't even...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, like, you know what I mean? It's crazy. Fuck, how the hell are we ever gonna make it properly into space at this rate? Like, we're never going to, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're just gonna flounder around here and like we're just gonna get, we're gonna get dumber and dumber like as, as the generations progress and that's it. No space for us. The dream is lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been playing Death Stranding recently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's really weird, isn't it? But it looks great though, like the graphics and stuff are fucking awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole first zone is a big tutorial though. But it's such a big tutorial dude. And just when I thought it was over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I, I like BB. I didn't like BB at first. I thought BB was very creepy at first, but I've learned to love BB now. He's great. I like every once in a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you, when you put your finger on the glass though, he puts his finger on the glasses. I mean, I say he, I mean it could be a she, but whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's such an odd thing, it's such an odd thing stumbling around in a game or making a mistake. And then one of the downsides of making a big mistake in that game is to have to listen to an infant crying whilst like all this stuff's going on. I'm having a massive fight with like these mules and they're throwing like spears at me and all in the background.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so the player is walking up some rocks, and then he will get attacked by a ghost, and if he gets attacked too much by a ghost, that's when we send in the octopus. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy, but think about any, any game really and imagine the conversations people must have to, to design and develop these games like in the end, right? Like, and they go through iterations too. I mean, Death Stranding is, is what's come out the other end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause Flitamide made, well, I mean, it's not, not nice. They used to call them flipper babies, but they, uh, they, yeah, the defects were like extremely physical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that maybe they didn't take in the true value of pi when they were doing x over y equals z3 to the power of 25 when they were trying to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't even remember the town names, you remember the face of the person who is like the town coordinator or whatever. When you look at Cargo, you never look at the name, you just look at the picture of the person and then you know where to go sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking I would love to play a game like, you know, being like a medieval like courier or something like that, you know, you're just like walking around like these like shitty villages with like a big backpack on and you have to deliver like, you know, grain to another town or whatever like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without all like the weirdness, you know, it'd be kind of like, like a walking simulator, but you know, set like in a more realistic sort of setting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I'm ready to play that one by the way. And I wish it was made. I wish somebody made it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think they liked it or do you think that they were just saying that they loved it? No, they liked it. Cause they were on a podcast. Oh, I see this, yeaah. Did you get like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's very different. And much more fun. Wasn't there like an XCOM game that took place like a long time ago? There's like a bureau thing or whatever. I remember the grey guys dressed up like Dick Tracy and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my experience, Flax, because I've talked about Dudes Sim Alaska at length. I've given everybody all the information they'd ever need to make the game. Nobody's made it yet, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get your hopes up is all I'm saying, but you never know. You never know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they were, Bill Murray and Harold Ramos were, uh, were really good friends when they made that movie. And, uh, unfortunately as their lives progressed, they fell out and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't have the same friendship. They couldn't work with each other and they fought a lot. And, uh, Harold Ramos, um, was dying of cancer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, and Bill Murray flew to his town and went to the local police station to say, where does Harold Ramis live? And uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sheriff is just like, oh yeah, we'll take you to his house cause you're Bill Murray. Like we know who you are sort of thing. And Bill Murray, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like right before he passed away, Bill Murray like got to talk to him and like buried the hatchet with him or whatever. God. But he couldn't, he couldn't talk back. Oh no, he was talking back. They like, they reconciled. They, they were like, oh, you know, sorry, sorry, we had like a feud and stuff like that. And it's like, oh, thanks for visiting me and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a pretty interesting guy and I think he'll, Ramis is really interesting as well. And it's just a, such a shame that it just shows like, um, how sort of like fame and everything can, can transform you and change, change your life sometimes in really good ways, but sometimes in not so good ways either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another deathbed story that I really like is when George Harrison was dying of cancer. I think he was in Switzerland or Sweden. He was somewhere for tax reasons basically, but he decided that he was going to die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, uh, he's, he's basically on his deathbed and Ringo Starr came to visit him, uhm, and they were having a chat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're having a chat or whatever. He came to visit him and he's like, Oh, well, listen, George, I gotta get going. Cause like my, my daughter's in the hospital as well. She's really sick and I need to go visit her or whatever. And George Harrison like couldn't walk or anything at this point and he's like bed bound and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, he just like looked up to me, he's like, oh, do you want me to come with you? It's like, uh, no, it's fine. It's fine, George. Just like, I'm just going to go sort of, I just thought it was just like, it's like such, such sort of like dark humor, you know, but to be sort of like aware of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like stories like that. I don't know, I don't even know how I come upon them, but it's just, uh, it's just like one of those. I like that one. I like the Bill Murray one too, but sorry, Flax, uh, stripes. You were talking about stripes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was, lots of it was to do with homosexuality, which just doesn't, um, it's, it's aged very poorly, you know, like there's just not as much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's like stuff that doesn't really hold up anymore. You know, like it's like, we're a lot more aware of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy that directed Stripes was also the guy who directed Ghostbusters, right? That's Ivan Reitman. Yeah, and he was uhm, and Ghostbusters was, I was watching that again, the movies that made us or whatever, the Ghostbusters one, and it was just like, it's a miracle that movie even came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then the movie was due to come out the next day and we still couldn't find Bill Murray and like all this stuff. And it's just like, oh man, you know, like I love stories like that. I really like music documentaries for the same reason. I like all the stories of people like on the road and like the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still think it does happen, honestly. It's just, it's probably different, but it's still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I feel like we uhm, we have this perception of like production companies and uh, and big businesses and stuff where we think because they make so much money, they have to have their shit in order and often times they just don't. It's a mess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think that still exists, I think even more so now with uhm, with the, the quality of equipment that you can get that's just, you know, like there's a lot of shows now that are just shot with like one camera, you know, like the moving cameras, like look at like the office, the way it was shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The shield was shot the same way. You know what I mean? Like they didn't, they didn't need as big of a crew as they would normally use because of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know that the big special effects blockbuster was like a uhm, was like a fine tuned thing, right? Like you'd had all the big action movies of the 80s uhm, you'd had like the rise of like the, like the computer


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Graphic stuff in the 90s and everything. So by the time I think they came around to doing like the Avengers, it was like a well-oiled machine. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, for that genre, absolutely, yeaah. But there's still a lot of like, there's still a lot of independent movies that are made like on a shoestring budget that are, that appear very professional and stuff, but behind the scenes are some mess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then really small budget. In terms of a big movie, this movie made like fucking almost a billion dollars in the box office. Like it was one of the biggest movies ever. Like it's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they had to, they had to build the entire house inside a school gymnasium because of all the stunts and everything. They couldn't just use a real house. So it's like, in the end they had, like they ended up spending a lot more money than they thought they would, which was the right call because they ended up making so much money. But you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mess. Made half a billion, didn't it? It was huge. Yeah, it was fucking huge. It was in the theaters forever. I remember when I was a kid, it was in the, in the theaters for like two years. Like it was just insane. It was just around for so long. That and the original Ninja Turtles movie and Jurassic Park as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like excited to go, but it's just again, it's like, it's just relative to the time, right? There's just like, what else were you going to do? Like you go to the movies or what? Just like go to the mall. Like, you know what I mean? Like you didn't have like MMOs to like plug into and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People really care that much about cinema now, like because there's just so many other things you could be doing. It's easier or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty terrible. I mean, even at the time a lot of people didn't really like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like a lot of comedy doesn't age well. I mean, there's definitely examples of comedy that's that's like timeless or whatever, but I like even even shows that I like used to watch as a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to watch this show called kids in the hall. It was like a Canadian. Oh, I loved it too. But when you go back and watch it now, it's just not funny. Like there's some of it is still kind of funny, but it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like I was a kid. So like, it's kind of like with Weird Al. I used to love Weird Al. I used to think he was so funny and stuff. And then we saw him at BlizzCon. I just thought, I can't, just can't watch this. Like it's just, it's too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that I'm 40, like I just, it's just not, and, and it was a different time too, right? Like some of the, you know, like the, the topical, uhm, elements of the comedy, just, just, you know, like they just don't matter at all anymore. Like it's not even remotely funny because it's just like such a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like there's nothing, nothing else has been even close to as popular as.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, there were some really good Seinfeld episodes, like, you just like, when you think back, like, that fucking episode where, uh, where Kramer and, uh, Jerry swap apartments with the Kenny Rogers sign with the chicken and the fucking neon sign outside. Fuck me, man. Like, what the fuck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of the episodes were so funny. It's just, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Julia Roberts is currently, uhm... I'd say 51. She's 52 right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I'm replacing mine with Kate Moss then. I feel like she's still got it. I've never been a Kate Moss. Oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was her, that was her big, uh, that was her big role, right? That's a great movie. No, Pretty Woman was her big role.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, hey, at least we didn't have any like really fucking depressing chats about prostitutes this week. Like, uh, it could have been worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks to Emmy-worthy performances from a reputable cast, The Normal Heart is not only a powerful heartbreaking drama, but also a vital document of events leading up to and through the early AIDS crisis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just another one here quickly before we go. I've just spotted this movie called First Cow, uh, which is 95% uh, rated fresh on tomato meter. First Cow finds director Kelly Reichardt revisiting territory and themes that will be familiar to fans of her previous work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With typically rewarding results. Geez, what a thrilling fucking introduction that is. There you go. This one stars...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, isn't you and, is you and Bremner spud from, um, train spotting? I think it looks just like them, right? It looks just like him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there you go. First cow everybody, 95%. Never heard of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. The rabbit holes that the internet leads you down, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a good one on now TV now, which was on, um, I think Showtime in America is the, the four, four part docu-series on the Wu-Tang Clan of Mikes and Men, which I watched again recently cause it was on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched it like years ago when it came out and then just recently I saw that it was available. So I was like, oh, whatever. I'll watch it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find it interesting. It's a, it is a, it is a, it is a interesting story though about fame and money and how it changes relations. Like these nine guys all grew up together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All your best friends that you robbed the bank with will turn on you and try to steal money from you and everything. It's crazy. That's why I wouldn't rob a bank. Yeah, me too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not just the hassle afterwards, but like, just imagine having to plan it, leave your house, do it in the first place. You don't even know if it's gonna work out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, if you set a rule at a corporate level, and there's no leeway, you know, it's gotta be written very precisely to say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have hair, you must wear a hairnet, but I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, jeez, I would refuse to wear a hairnet if I was bald. Those things look ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think any office-based jobs, uhm, for sure, because they're all using computers anyway. I'm sure there are some companies that don't. Uhm, yeaah. I mean, things like manufacturing and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Service industry jobs, manufacturing jobs, picking things up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean yea, if you work with a computer and most of your transactions with customers are done online, you know, you basically. Well they're the sort of ones I'm talking about really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right, right. But it's funny, when someone tours their hometown, it's the kind of tour you get that's more personalized than, here is the school, here is the library. This building is famous because in 1512, you know, it's not like that. No, yeah. It's like, that's where I worked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over here for sure. Because they didn't, a lot of them didn't grow organically. It's just like estate after estate after estate that were all built because you could buy the land cheaply.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of impossibility. It was bizarre. We walked through this huge car park for this building. It was like a bank or something. And the car park was like the size of multiple football pitches. And then right in the middle is this bank building. And we're just walking through here. Like, can we walk here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys heard, to change the subject, have you guys heard of Bazooka Joe Gum? Sips probably has.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever send off, so Bazooka Joe gum was a famously awful chewing gum that you bought and it was like a block of pink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the opposite of that. But it came wrapped in two pieces of like greasy, not grease, greasy, like grease proof paper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like wax, waxy. So it had a comic wrapped around it, and then it had the outer wrapping around that, I think, and you sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Open the gum and then there was the gum inside a comic starring Bazooka Joe and his gang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it, every comic said that you could send away for something. So for instance, on the Wikipedia page it's got number 204, free telescope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why they call it free telescope, because it's not. Get a close-up view of distant planes, buildings, etc. with this powerful telescope. Opens to seven inches. Planes? I thought it was going to say planets, but they're planes. No, it's a, yeah, it's not like a... It's not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a, I had the Nasher badge, which was a cardboard badge with a furry Nasher sort of ring around his face. Uhm, I had the, what else? You get a wallet that says you're an official member of the Denis de Menes fan club. You get a certificate, that's stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the 70s there were a lot of comics where I think there was a big splurge on comics that were like, you know, so and so goes to tame the wilds of Africa and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just deeply, deeply wrong. Uh, and kids grew up reading those. I guess that explains a lot about people's attitudes, I think. That generation of people might hear it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll have writers who just storyboard it and then they just give it to the artist and the artist is just plugging away all day writing and then it goes to the inking guy and everything and like it's all written ahead of time because it's not like it needs to be topical. Like Dennis Domenis isn't making, it's not like Private Eye or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it always seems to be pretty much, pretty much the same. The adverts in the back of Private Eye, have you ever read the adverts in the back of Private Eye? No, I haven't. Very strange. The adverts are always


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do, I do, there's sections that I read every week. Like I always read all the, you know, there's all the funny stuff, and then if there's an article about something that grabs me, like sometimes it'd be, they do some actually very important, uhm, sort of investigative journalism, really, in private eye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but in an entertaining way. I think that's the thing. I know that Jon Stewart, um, had a big problem where I think it was, it might've been Tucker fucking Carlson, or it might've been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might have been, uh, Bill O'Reilly. I can't remember who the fuck talked to him. It was someone and they said, you don't understand. Oh, I think it was Tucker Carlson actually. Cause that little prick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I saw your show and you didn't even grill him and all this and he's like, guys, we're a comedy show. Like first and foremost, that's what we do. And his point was that the show that leads into them...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's about like animated penguins. That was whatever the show was on Comedy Central before the Jon Stewart show. And he's like, if you're looking at us and saying you're not with upstanding journalists, it's like we're not journalists. Like we're just saying look at this shit, isn't it funny? How fucked up is this? And making stupid jokes about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think it's interesting that journalists were looking, I call them journalists, Tucker Carlson, was looking at him and saying like, oh, you're letting the side down, as if he's comparing actual news programs that are deeply serious with fucking Jon Stewart, who's a stand-up comic and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was all played for laughs. Like it wasn't often that you had an episode that was deeply serious. And if you look at John Oliver, it's the same. But he's a bit more serious, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had a responsibility in all this and he let it down. He's like, like, cause I think he interviewed Obama and I think Tucker Carlson was unhappy that he didn't grill him about something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And John Stewart was like, well look, it was someone he interviewed and he was like, look guys, we're a comedy show. Like if it's not funny, if we, if we in the middle of a comedy show have a deeply serious 10 minute discussion with someone, that's not the point. People don't tune in for that. Like I used to love The Daily Show. It was really fucking funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there'll be like a hundred replies to it and people riffing off this same joke and they're all...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, anti-funny. It's like a black hole of humour. Reddit just sucks anything funny into it and destroys it. It's such an awful thing. And then, you look at the power that Reddit has, it's unbelievable because so many


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lookbacks at TV series and movies and why they're good or bad in her opinion. And she did like, you know, a big thing about the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit and a big thing about Game of Thrones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't remember, there was another series that she did where the show developers were like pissed off that Reddit had guessed how the show ends and changed the ending of the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because of that. Now, I know, I know, I have personal experience of companies paying too much attention to Reddit. It does not fucking matter if some twat on Reddit has guessed the ending of the show. This is not your audience!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people losing their shit saying, oh my god, this is, you know, this is unbelievable. Everyone's, this opinion is obviously what everyone is thinking, but it's not. It's a subset of people. And that's the thing with Reddit. It's the same thing that, I mean, you see people who call themselves, I'm a Redditor. Like that's what they do. Like it's a fucking profession. No, it's not. I go on Reddit sometimes. I like, I like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very hard to get feedback. I think this is the essential problem. If you're a TV show maker or a film maker or a game maker or any, and you're making any kind of media, how do you get feedback from people? How?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, who's gonna answer? Either people with nothing better to do, who probably, you know, who cares? If there's people trolling Reddit all day looking to respond to something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are either obsessive or obsessed with their own opinion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, that kind of thing. Let me tell you something. Go for it. 99% of these games are so fucking bad, I honestly cannot believe it. I don't know what is happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I understand that, but my point is that they're an awful lot. First of all, there seems to be a huge subset of gamers out there who will buy games that are adventure games where you have to marry an anime character of some kind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have the filter on, anything that has the word anime in the title, any sexual content stuff, gone. I do not want to fucking see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, if it was good, people would talk about it. Sure. I'm talking about just the constant recommendations that Steam gives you for shit. Like you go and look at new games and I'm just going through them, I'll make these all look bad. These are bad, bad, bad. So many of them are just like, how many particle effects can we cram on screen? Frenetic 2D action. It's just, it's just mindless flashing lights. There's so many.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think the issue is, I don't think it's just, I don't think it's just to do with the games that you play. I think it's also, there is a difference between


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Playing a game on your own, and playing a game knowing that people are watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy in chat accused me of cheating and said he was gonna report me to 2k games and like stomped off. And it was because, you know, your chat was like obsessed that my shots were too straight, the up and down was too straight, even though my timing was awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The up and down on my, the controller I've got is very limited. It's not like a very wide range of motion, which is actually quite helpful. So I can go back and forward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But don't you just find like when I played it, I dunno, I did play it a few years ago now, it was just everything that you do takes like five times longer than I thought it would take. It's not a fast paced game. No. It's a very slow paced game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was great, yeaah. There was a lot of just flying about looking at the prices of things, making notes and everything, like I, you know, it was fun, uhm, because it was, it was new and there wasn't anything like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I play games like that now, I just, I do not have the patience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To spend doing and learning all these incredibly intricate controls and everything. It just drives me mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I guess it's the same with me and Dota, you get people saying I just don't understand how you can play this and it just looks so dense. Totally, absolutely totally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and you think, uh, I mean I don't know if there were other people involved, but I remember it took him quite some time to make it, which made me think it probably was just him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like too many of the indie dev games that I've been looking at are either, you think there must be a troll. Like I think this has to be a joke, right? There's no way someone's made this thinking people were like this. They've come up with one idea. They're like, what if we had, uh, like a shooter, but you're a dog and you shoot bones at people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when they, you know, when Southburg, how they said that family guys written, they get some manatees to pick things out of a tank or something. It's like that. They chuck a bunch of things in a hat. Okay, so, uh, cutesy anime girls and what's this? Uh, battle arena and uh, tile based combat. Okay, yeah, let's do that. It's like, what, what is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That there must be some technical ability to these people to be able to make this game. It clearly runs, right? It's got animations, it's got everything, but there's no idea. We have two ideas right here. Dudes in Alaska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And untitled crime empire game, right? Yeah. Because the one that everyone said, oh, period, have you seen? So-so just came out, it sounds like the game you made. No. It's shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's my problem, the animations are fucking abysmal, the gameplay is incredibly slow, it's taken a brilliant concept, Slay the Spire, and added


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think they, a lot of games tried to copy Slay the Spire. Which, I mean, this is the other thing. Is that when we get one of these games coming along, like Slay the Spire, the reason I've got so many hours in it, is because all these other games that try to copy it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just try to copy it and stick other shit on. They don't put an interesting twist on it. They just think, how can we add more detail to this and get some of that Slay the Spy on money? I assume it must be that cynical. Because you cannot make a game this bad with so little love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And half the fucking games on Steam were something to do with zombies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I just think, you know, if, if you actually stopped for a second and thought, yes, zombies are popular, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for something else, uh, or we can do something interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have. We have. Yes, and that's the thing. Out of all of this, you see some things you think, alright, this is actually quite interesting. Uhm, and some of them have like a really cool look. I, I absolutely understand being inspired by, if you want to put it that way, or as another way, copying other games. That is absolutely fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are plenty of games that are copies of other games that are good. Slay the Spyro didn't invent card-based combat. Absolutely, they did not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they did it really well, and I just, I worry that a lot of these devs are just churning something out. They've obviously got talent and they can do what they do. I just wish they would wait, get a really good, the idea has to be the core of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd worry that they'd jump in and sort of code something and they'd think, alright, what can I add to this? I would rather they spent fucking six months getting the idea perfect, but like you said-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's why a lot of these people I think try to do the designing and the coding but they are two very, very, very different things and I think often people who are unbelievably good coders and can obviously do it don't actually know what's fun and that's a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good day. Good morning. Welcome. Good afternoon. Hi. Wherever you are. Yo. To the Tri-Flux Podcast. Oh. We're back. Welcome back. Sit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, indigestion. Oh, can I just mention, by the way, before we start off on that, on that topic, Sivs, some, I was listening to that Adam Buxton podcast today, big fan of Adam Buxton, always happy to join the show. And I follow, I always listen to the Adam and Joe, cause he's friends with Louis Theroux as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I listened to the Louis Theroux grounded podcast while lockdown was on, it was alright. I think they're all pretty, some of the guests he has are pretty uninteresting, but he's pretty interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a Malcolm Gladwell one that was amazing as well. The John Rawlson one I also recommend. Adam Buxton. Oh, sorry, yeah, Grounded. So anyway, there was some good Grounded, some good Adam Buxton, but he did, he had Adam and Jo on at Christmas, I hadn't listened to this episode, and Jo, he just left in this fart that Jo did. Yes, that's right, it was like a really sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he had so many people who were like upset, they were like, I had to turn the podcast off, I was like retching, and I, I must just be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These people must never fart, because I think some people never fart. I am, like, a fart, like, expert, machine. I fart all the time, like, I think it's because I've had long problems with, like, food intolerances. I'm just a fragile fairy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, weakling, and I've, and as a result I've always had like just, I'm such a special, mummy special boy, you know, sitting on the edge of the swimming pool because I've got an ear infection, all this stuff, right? Uhm, throughout my whole life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm always, but at the same time I've always been a skinny kind of, like, elven, nerdy kind of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds nice. Well actually, so, so I, but just to say, I always find farts, and I've kind of, I've had this psychology and mentality that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think it's a decision you can make too sometimes, right? Sure. Sure, I think a certain really wet, sloppy fart is a bit like, oh god. Well, you know, I didn't think, I didn't think Joestrom was that bad to warrant this sort of audience backlash and this big apology that seemed to come after it. I think where I win is that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been at Sips' house, right, and I think he has either let one rip, or I've let one rip, and everyone has just, like... I dunno, it's like it's a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And obviously he actually shot him with a real gun and wounded him. And it was the 1868, so a different time. He was the second son of Queen Victoria. It was a different time. Yeah. And so yeah, like obviously in those days, they didn't think that these, obviously that was a very different crime. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it wasn't a political protest. The fact is that, you know, when it was a political protest, it wasn't even a political protest, I guess. It was just an assassination.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could imagine someone getting into a situation where they've done humanitarian work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've worked, they've seeded the plight of these Cambodians and they're like, well look, something has to be done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like actually a selfless action when you frame it like that. It sounds like something, a very brave, heroic action, right? That you shouldn't be sentenced to jail for or hanged for, you know, or even, you know, be judged to be crazy for, you know, especially when you, when you look at it like that, when these people could very easily have been


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, what were the reasons I did it valid? Probably, you know, it's, it's an interesting thing that happened, but it's, it happens again and again all the time, every day with people make doing actions that seem crazy, but actually are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally, and uhm, as a, as a box office here, yeaah. He's huge. He's huge now, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh please, jingle all the way, forget about it. It's very difficult for you to, when you're an actor, I'm sure, to really know whether a movie's gonna stink it up that bad or whether it's just gonna be, you know, your agent's like, well look, you're not doing anything for the next six months, this movie's okay, you know, here you go. It's like brand deals for us, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well here's the thing, it's not though, it's vanilla ice cream, it's the same movie that's been made, it's Die Hard, it's the same movie that was made before, and then before Die Hard it was another movie, and before that it was another movie that was generic. How do you guys feel about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look how much money this made, it works. It's relatively inoffensive, got big name actors, they've been inclusive and had China, it's just a generic plot where everyone can get away with Christmas


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that we're bringing up new generations of people who, it's been long enough with Star Wars 2 and with Die Hard that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The generation has moved on and the next generation has come through and don't want to watch black and white movies, they don't want to watch movies from the 90s, and they don't want to watch the old Star Wars, they don't want to watch the old Die Hard, they want to watch the new one, and they want to see it in modern day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An old sci-fi idea that once we've made enough really good movies and enough really good TV shows and enough really good books, you could put someone on like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's this idea that we'd eventually have, I guess there's so much stuff that's, everything we have though is built on previous stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Often copies or similar or borrows things from other things that were good or tries to be successful by...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I feel like there's only so many things you can do and still be appealing to that sort of family values. Excuse me for a second here, bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, is that, is what you, you try to say you're cherry picking the best ideas. Cause a lot of people think they're doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got a, I've got a challenge for you. I also saw Sips, uh, not Sips, uh, P-Flex crashed into the Shard. Yep. Yes, I saw that as well. It looked like a really terrible act of terrorism. Yes, that was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've been a pilot for about two hours and you're like, I couldn't be arsed to fly this plane anymore, I had grown bored.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hang on, before we go, I'd love to know if anyone in the audience has the answer to this, because it's something that's always interested me, like, I love Google Maps, and I sometimes find myself just like, looking around on satellite imagery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before you know it, you're like, I wonder where that is. And then you go there and you're like, oh, there's a little town called Honeydew or whatever in California. And you look in there and you zoom in and you see some people's farms and stuff. Or, or you, I don't know, you look at something and you zoom in and you're like, oh, that's a weird grid. And you zoom in and you realize it's just farms. And you're like, oh damn, where am I? Northern Canada or somewhere. Like, fuck, there's loads of farms. I wonder what they're farming. I wish there was like a way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting like explanation or Wikipedia or Reddit or something where people talk about stuff they found on, on Google Maps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was so polite, he wouldn't end it. It was just bizarre. I, I, I sometimes get...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'll see like a notification for it. That doesn't come up as me having read it, you see? Right. So usually the notification is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretend that I have, obviously don't open WhatsApp and read it because then it would show that it's been read. So I just let them think it hasn't been read. And then I've gone to bed. Uhm, and then. Sneaky, very sneaky. Next morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. That's how I do, that's how Sips is on to me. I'm sure everyone else does that as well. It's not just me. No, I don't. I'm perfect. I, I, I, I don't, I don't try not to take stress. I try not to check my emails after about nine o'clock at night as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always people with some sort of problem. Some people have always fallen out over something or someone's got a problem with something. It's always usually a trivial or an easy explanation, but there's certain people who are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As soon as you name something, you fucking, it starts to have a life of its own. This is how we're gonna have the machines rise up against us, P-Flex. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're treating your pets even higher than your car?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to Triforce. Uh, Sips, how you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for asking. How are you doing? Good. PFLEX. How are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sheep island is what it comes from the old English. Sheep, sheepy island. A plentiful source of fossils. So it's, it's like, um, it's basically, I don't know whether it is an island, but we it's got like a river


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also it's like the psychology, right, of going away somewhere like that. It feels like you've, you've isolated yourself or you've like, you know, like, like Jersey, you know, it always feels to me like, even though it's very British, very


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for sure. Like, I mean, it feels to me almost like there was no, you know, winter is a kind of time where everyone's sort of stuck inside anyway, because it's raining and it's cold and it's miserable. Sure. This week is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of ready and they were just starting to go out again and kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do stuff and then at least, at least that's what it's like here a little bit. I guess it does get pretty miserable for the winter months. You know, something we, we always complain about a lot, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We sort of, we sort of, it's long enough between summer and winter for us to forget just how bad it was and how dark it is. Getting up at sort of eight in the morning and it's dark and then go to, you know, getting home at like five and it's dark and it's like, geez, you know, but, but we get, we have it great compared to Scandinavia or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds like every British childhood holiday I had from the ages of 4 through to, you know, 15. I think, honestly, my parents had been through the same thing and realised that English holidays were just kind of drab and miserable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you were, if you were unlucky, you just got a shitty, miserable, bad weather week, even in summer. And it was just like being trapped with, with the family. Uh, if you might as well have been at home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was just, it was just not, I mean, I remember we went to Norfolk a couple of times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was, it was pretty miserable. I mean, me and my brother would play Magic the Gathering or something like this, you know, try and keep ourselves entertained.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But after a while my parents were just like, yeah, we're going to go on holiday less, but we're going to go somewhere abroad. So it was like, instead of going away every year, we'd go away every other year to like a Greek island or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those types of shitty holidays that I went on with my dad, cause he was, uhm, back in the day, he was a scout sort of leader when he was in his twenties. Uhm, you know, back up in Derby, he was a big scout. He was part of the scout sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. That was what he was doing during his twenties and he really enjoyed going out on the Peak District when he had a lot of friends in it and he stayed friends with them his whole life really. Anyway, as a sort of scout master, I think he'd done his time. And when I was in the scouts, he was one of the sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rather than being a scout leader, he was kind of just a dad who was keen to get involved because he remembered everything and had all of his


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of his, all of his kicks, he kept everything. You know, he kept this old knackered old tent that was clearly like 30 years old when he got it. Um, but it was this sort of heavy canvas tent with these really heavy metal poles. And I feel like a lot of his idea with camping was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was it. That was like part of it, right? And so it was this very kind of, there was no trekking into the wilderness to camp. You know, you were camping in a campsite that had a toilet facility and a shower facility and a probably like a little chef next door or something like this, you know? And so it was kind of this,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was nice in a sense, but it was also kind of not quite what we were expecting because sometimes, you know, the people were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we have to check, check some distance, you know, trying to bring my dad's tent was, was not doable. I think even then it was like even sort of 20, 30 years ago, it was, it was knackers. It was nice. I will enjoy, I will say like I, and I did, I did a lot of this stuff. I mean, you guys must've done the Duke of Edinburgh and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The cadets and all this stuff where you went out and you went somewhere fucking miles away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It almost felt like, imagine that wasn't a thing. It almost felt quite reckless anyway in a sense. Cause you know, you're out there with all these, these kids who are kind of not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but, but I guess you're just kind of scared straight often in these places because you know that like you're in the middle of a fucking wilderness area if you wandered off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you'd probably get eaten by a fucking, you'd probably be found savaged by badgers. No, you'd probably find like a main road in a fucking McDonald's actually in England. But, um, you know, it's, it's, it's one of these things where it did feel kind of slightly risky, slightly unsafe doing these scout camps back in the day. I always just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt, I don't know, I was always scared. I was, I think I was always just scared the whole time that, that something would go wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You did get that. You did get that a bit, didn't you? Like people who were way too old for something like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go like up through the different school groups and you sort of get promoted to the head boy or whatever of your primary school. And then suddenly you're a year seven and you're a chump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because if they went into the territorial army or they went into another cadet group, they'd be at the lowest level again. But because they, they, they, they're holding onto that fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Artificial, I remember those, those kind of, there were a couple of people like that who were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So very highly ranked in those groups, right? But in the rest of the school and the rest of the world, they were kind of a nobody. So they were obsessed with this kind of idea of holding onto this power that they had in these groups and they, they did boss people around and they enjoyed like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But back then it wasn't a problem. You could see, you could see it being quite addicting though, like to, to be like, to have people listen to you and, you know, actually have useful things for you to, you know, almost like being an educator suddenly, like you're able to like teach these kids how to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They spoke properly. They weren't like muscly, big, scary Ross Kemp guys that you see in the SAS, you know, like we're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're the actual British army, but we're led by, hello, yes, my name's Douglas. Uh, I'll be, I'll be your Colonel for today. Uh, so we're going to send you into France. Uh, they've, the bloody Nazis have taken over a little town there called Calais.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mike, you're going to fucking, I mean, you're going to take those, you're going to take those blighters by, by shock. That's right. You're going to shoot them, take them over, uh, take Calle back for the good jolly old breath. And then we, me and my family go on holiday there once again. Jeremy, that's, that's the kind of, they were oddly now today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, it's like seeing a teacher at the supermarket or something in their casual clothes. It really was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was mostly, I assume, just friends of teachers or someone like that, right? It was, it tended to be a couple of the teachers who were passionate about this. And if the school didn't have a teacher who was a member of the territorial army or something, or even vaguely interested in it, then they wouldn't have a cadet force often. They'd just have to sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, put it to one side because it, cause this, you know, you've only got like how many stuff, how many teachers you've got at school? 30 teachers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It did feel a bit like that though, you know, with the, with the, with the costumes and the, the wands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our psychology is so, so different. Like yeaah, like speedruns are this thing where if you do watch a speedrun of a game, you can't possibly play that game again, right? Because you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to spend 20 hours trying to complete this game, whereas this guy's done it in 15 minutes and I know how to do it. And I, I know I'm never going to do it as well as him or I don't know. Like it's like, why, why, it's like, why am I doing this? You know, kind of, kind of is really odd. Speaking of speed runs, there was this thing I played this week, which was interesting, which is kind of the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This sort of odd horror game that isn't actually, it's an accidental horror game, which is this, um, house. Have you seen this, this, um, house that's for sale in Louisville or somewhere?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically there's this, it went a bit viral and there were speed runs on it, which is why you reminded me. But the whole point of this thing is this is a house for sale in Kentucky and it's got this 3D walkthrough because I guess everyone is locked down now, but also it's just easy for the guy who's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Selling it to just set up this 3D camera around the house and then it generates this 3D walkthrough of the house and then you can just walk around the house like Google maps style, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so uhm, you, you don't have to go and tour a house. You can buy a house online, especially across the country. You know, imagine in America, you want to move to Kentucky. You don't have to go to Kentucky and like fucking look at all these houses or whatever. You could just do it online and be like, yeah, this, I think I know what I'm dealing with here. There's, I can see there's mold in the ceiling and there's like the showers, like all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, manky and I can see that the garden is fucked, you know, whatever, you know, you, you know, but normally when you get pictures on a house, you can't see all the floors, right? So you have to go there in person and be like, Oh yeah. Um, you realize that it's all really small and pokey or the seedlings are really weird or shaped or the floorboards are all manky, whatever. It's good, right? Anyway, there's this horrible house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, you start off in the sort of, in this sort of lounge area and you could tell there's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can tell it's weird already because it's first of all a shithole. It's full of mess, it's full of like monster energy cans and like weird things like they've got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like multiple, like sometimes you've got three or four TVs in the same room. Like a massive TV on the wall, a massive TV, like personal bed, a massive TV. It's kind of looks like it's lived in by, I don't know, like three or four crazy homeless people or students. Do you know what I mean? Like really messy students.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you sort of gradually sort of explore the rest of this house and you realize that they've got this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's the, that's the point of the game is to discover this bathroom. And I encourage you to try it just because it's so weird. It only takes you like 20 minutes kind of thing to look around. It's super interesting. I don't know how long it's even going to be up, you know, cause it's on like a real estate website, right? This fucking thing.