[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're training at age fucking four and never stopped. It's like never stopped. You know, that was their life. They did nothing else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it is weird isn't it? It's impressive, it's very impressive. The art is both one point, on one hand, you know, something that kids and toddlers and we're really happy to expose them to and it's really wholesome and it's really enjoyable and they get a lot of joy out of it and then it becomes this thing that only


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretentious people do, or people who've honed their skill and are very good at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not too many casual artists. Like, you have a few casual musicians. You have a few people who are playing piano. But you don't see a lot of adults learning piano. It feels like that's something that you do as a kid as well. You learn to play music while you're in school. You don't, you know, other than a random couple of people pretending to learn guitar for their entire life kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I dunno, it's weird, so anyway, I just thought, you know, it's weird, it's good to get over these...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, pre, predefined ideas and just fucking get involved, do something weird, do something different. I'm also going to Japan. Oh yea, you mentioned, yea. In like a month's time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was your like reasoning to go there in the first place?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to like the winging and the unplanting, but I found that you can always


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the way I've sort of done things. I have more of a sketch plan for every day, rather than an hour by. Some people have a minute by minute plan, where they're like, we're spending 45 minutes here, then we're going, taking a 10 minute walk to here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went out, uhm, a week ago, I bought him a solar pad watch so he actually has to fucking wear it, cause otherwise he would just, like, not, not wear it. Uhm, cause, you know, he's like, oh, it's a special watch that my son bought me, I, you know, I want to keep it in the box, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was talking to Ben and Ben was like, you know, Oh yeah, Japan sounds great because it's, it's one place I want to go because it's literally about as far as, as alien as you can get, you know, without being literally little green men, you know, it's the most different, weirdest culture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I like a figure eight. I like a curve. Don't get me wrong. You don't know what you're talking about. Oh no I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, no, no, no, with me, it's like two sticks, like fucking rubbing against each other. It's a bad idea, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe. That's the same thing, it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like going back to the old folks thing though, it's almost like, I think to some extent people are attracted to people who are the same level of attractiveness as them, or at least


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I mean my mind is gonna be fucking mush in 50 years. I don't, you know, I'm gonna be like. Nah, there'll be drugs and shit. I don't, well maybe we'll all just be fucking plugged into the matrix by that point, you know what I mean? Internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing though, right, you gotta understand, we're, we're men, okay, so we can- WE ARE MEN! Oh, first of all, I don't think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who've, who've blasted to these old folks' homes are always like leathery skinned, quite thin, quite tall, you know, the classic Casanova, you know, the strippings, they make it through, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think probably Henry Winkler, although he's 71, if he wanted to, he could probably date a fucking 40 year old woman, easy. Yeah, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he's 56, George Clooney. He could date a fucking twin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I read somewhere that the average like 20 year old woman has had like something like 4 or 5 sexual partners by that point. So it's like pretty, you know, it's pretty, pretty experienced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's possible that we were just like the fucking teen nerds who didn't get any action. Like when we talked about this before a little bit on the podcast, the community response was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it is, with the internet and with porn, everyone's like, fucking, oh, I don't wanna do any normal sex, we're gonna fucking stick a vibrator up your ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit. Wow, well we're all just now thinking about Playboys, and we're gonna have to have a quick break, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So alright, well I think that's a good podcast, I think that's a good place to end. We're going to let you guys go. Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with some more of this. You can check out me and Sips and P-Flex playing games together on Team Double Dragon as usual on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, when I ejaculate, it's like when you blow one of those dandelion clocks. You know? Every sperm has a tiny parachute. Oh my god, it's like a Disney film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like, like, nurses and doctors are meant to work hard, play hard, right? It's like, if you have to do something looking after other people, I think it's ironic that if you do that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mickey Mouse needs to pee on Minnie Mouse's bathtub. What the Christ am I watching?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm watching a video of Mickey Mouse pissing in the bathtub while the baby mouse is taking a dump and then Minnie Mouse comes in wearing a bikini. What the fuck is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But don't worry about the, don't worry about dabbing, alright? Here's the thing. Does anybody still Harlem Shake? Remember the Harlem Shake?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I promulgate my seed or a meme, right now there's the internet, it's promulgated much more quickly. It's out there in the wild like that. In those, you know, a few years ago pre-internet, it took years for shit to promulgate. Now you get daily promulgation. It's ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not just one of those things, like some people just like boobies, some people like arses, some people like legs, you know, that, some people like, like the weird stuff, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to shit on you, or I want you to shit on me and stuff. Yeah, that's a bit weird. Something has happened in your past, and that's become your hangup. Like, that's not just a fetish, that's like a mental hangup about something. I'd love to know more about what it is, but there's something going on. Nobody just one day goes, huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really like, uh, someone shitting on me. You know, that's, that's something that's in you from a very, very early age. Or eating shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've been sick for two weeks, and I've still turned up for recordings, Chris. All I'm saying is you could learn a thing or two from Papa Flax. Oh, what the fuck, man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, you know, the worst thing about The Apprentice for me is that if you're, let's say you're really, really good at being on The Apprentice, right? How much of the shit, cause the show has to have variety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and uh, I value my business at four billion pounds. And they'll write it down and they're like, okay, uh, Peter Jones has a question. Yeah, I've got a question for you. I'm just looking at your valuation here and it looks completely bonkers to me. Quite honestly, bonkers. Four billion pound valuation. How do you get that valuation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he really does. And they'll always be like, well, we looked at the cost of our unit, which is 8 pounds, and our profit on that is 5 pounds, and we counted the number of doors in the country, and we multiplied the profit by the number of doors in the country, and that's what we came out with, 4 billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, the things I watch now, like I watch the nature document, like the blue planet too, I'm watching that at the moment. I watch reruns of stuff, and I'll watch, uh, strictly come dancing, but only the intro, because it's such an amazing piece of television, the way they do this show. And they, like, the camera changes, the swooping shots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, another show I've been watching recently is this one where it's like MasterChef. It's got, uhm, I think it's Prue Leith is one of the people, or someone like that, and some other guy, the Italian chef, I can't remember his name, and it's like a family comes in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like families cooking competitively. So you'll have like the Smith family against the, you know, some other family and they're sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have to cook a dish and prepare it and they come to their home and they cook them a lovely meal and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be honest, how much TV do you watch? I'd love to know. Like, there must be some kind of fucking survey out there. I don't know! Cause I'm, I'm, when I stream, I'm sure you're the same, Chris, right? The same people tune in every night to watch me stream. Like, I stream pretty much every day of the week. Yeah, yeah. And I see the same people in chat every time, and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sure. I mean, you just got it on. But in the old days, you'd be on the TV. Also, a lot of people watch on their phones. So they'll be streaming and someone's like, oh, I'm in a lecture right now. I'm like, damn. So they're in a lecture in university with their phone in their lap, watching me play Dota instead of getting an education.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one lecture, you know, I was, I was talking about this the other day on Discord with some of my guys and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of Moot University, a lot of my students and stuff. And there was one lecture, like at the start of every year,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd got your timetable of all the modules that you'd have to do that year and everything. And we'd look through it and the ones that were called things like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Networking for businesses and stuff, you go, oh I could learn that off the course sheet, I don't need a lecture for that. The ones about database, like how to actually code a proper database and how to structure it, you go into that lecture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one of this guy, it was a procedural, uh, computing language. I think it was something called procedural. It was called Zed or Zee. And it was basically a way to formally structure what the program was going to do with this mathematical notation. It was incredibly hard, this lecture, right? It was like the densest fucking lecture that we had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So difficult, and the lectures were the best attended. There was like a hundred percent attendance of these lectures, because it's an important module, and it was so hard that we needed to be in the class with the lecturer, and he would explain it, and so we could put hands up and say, can you explain that again? And there was a whole, one week, the whole lecture was on recursion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you've not done any programming, the fact, the programmers joke for recursion is, if you look recursion up in the dictionary, it just says, see recursion, right? That's it. So you just keep, you know, so a recursive loop is just, it basically, it keeps doing it and doing it, but it's calling itself, which is a very fucked up kind of idea. And you're like, how does it ever not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's reading off a sheet, he's writing the notes on the board, and that's it. He can give you the fucking sheet and you can read it at home. And when you get the coursework, the questions are dead simple. You look at the coursework, you read the notes, bosh, you're done. I mean, that was most of university for me, so I could see why people could look at their fucking phones. Most lectures I just wanted to turn up so they didn't think I was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find it very, very hard. I mean, my daughter, my eldest daughter, she's terrible at listening. And when I, she got her report at the end of last year, and it was, it was great. Like, I actually cried. Her report was so good. I was so proud of her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, it was fantastic and I was telling her it was great. And it's all good, good, like it's all like above expectation, everything. Like they don't list it as A, B, C at that age. It's just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's where she should be, she's not where she should be, or she's ahead of where she should be. And everything was ahead of where she should be, apart from the art, religious education, which she didn't give a shit about, and I was like, I don't care. And the other bit was, um, listening. The listening skills need work. And I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a lot of people really listen and pay attention. I would come out of lectures or come out of a conversation and like Mrs. F, she does this all the time. We'll go, we'll talk to someone very briefly and later on she'll say, can you believe what someone said? I'm like, who said what? And she'll have to remind me of the entire conversation. I'll forget stuff that I spoke to someone about the day before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason for it is that you have to pay to go to fucking university. How do you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Totally a cycle. Yeah, exactly. If you limit access to good jobs, to people whose families already have good jobs, what are you doing? Like why would you ever think that's a good idea? And think about it this way, let's say you're, I thought this for a while, let's say you're a heartless industrialist, you're like one of those big fat guys with a cigar and a top hat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most people aren't like you. If you want a society where you can have educated workers, Mr. Industrialist, right? Why would you pass over the chance to get some really talented people who just had a shit start in life, even looking at it that way, as, as the most heartless conservative possible?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have all these people out there that you're, you're passing over on automatically. They might be brilliant. They might be the geniuses that you desperately need in your stupid fucking doorstop making business. And you're just, you're just saying, nah, fuck it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it just doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't, but it's- Even like, like health, if you're looking at healthcare and you're saying people should have to pay for it, even if you're the monopoly man and you've got a factory making doorstops, if your workers are getting sick and they can't work because they're all getting sick and you've got to retrain new ones, even from your perspective,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paying for healthcare should surely be a good thing, because having healthy customers and healthy workers is good for everybody. I just don't get it, man. I don't fucking get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you know, I was thinking, um, when you guys were talking about porn earlier, I was thinking, this is something I've thought for a while, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and they're like, they wanted to make like, a great western. Or like a really good drama or something like that. And these cameramen and the editors and the directors and the rest of it, they're like, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they'll have a shot, like they'll have a conversation shot that's like over the shoulder, like convo, so I can't remember what they call that, uh, one on one, like there's a specific term, but when you shoot it with one person's looking at the other person, you film it over their shoulder, but it's like forced perspective, so they're actually looking, and you look it up anyway, so they'll have those kind of shots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they'll have the cutaway shot for the editor, right? So anytime you're filming something, if you have a transition shot, you need to cut to something else. And often they're like, well, shit, if we're filming a woman getting fucked and we're like, from her perspective, like, you know, we're looking at her face and the dude's behind her, you can't really see him. How can I cut from this to the, the, the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they cut to the dude's face, cause there's nothing else to cut to, of him going, oh yeaah, uuuh, yeaah, this is good, uuuh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so- No, no, some of them are 10%. Oh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. You know, the guys that made the long war mod have made their, are making their own standalone game? No, I'm not surprised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's amazing. I mean, there's a game I play called, um, Civil War. And it's a ma- it's a fantastic game. I'll give you the proper name. It's called...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ultimate General Civil War. Okay, so these guys were the guys that made the Darth Mod for Total War, and like, if anybody's played the original Total War Rome and stuff like that, there was this guy called Darth Mod, and they did those mods. So they made this game. So, I love these, these small,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Game studios because I feel like if they started off in the mod community and then moved into making games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've seen what AAA titles and big games companies make and they're like, you know what, this would be really good if it just had this, this, this and this and this. And they make it much simpler and they tend to improve a little bit. And they take the gloss off and put more gameplay in. That's the way it feels to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right. So, there's a game I'm playing at the moment called Hold Fast. Sips, I think you saw me streaming it the other night, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like a helmsman, you've got a captain with a telescope and everything, you roll around, you blow up these ships, it's fucking amazing. The land battle is just like 150 players, literally 150 players. You'll form like a line of like 50 people, and you'll literally all say, right, ready aim, fire, and all the musketmen will fire, and you've got like drummers and flag bearers and stuff. It's amazing. That game was made by three dudes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a little studio called Anvil Games, they're in Malta, and there's three of them. One guy's a programmer, one guy's like the lead designer and everything, and the other guy's like the art director and stuff. They just fucking made it. And it's amazing. I was streaming it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were in the chat answering questions and shit, and I was like, this is, this is what I fucking like, man. These little game shooters, they fucking, they love games. And they, they, they're like, we're working on this, we're working on that. It's, it's amazing to me. I, I hope they do new stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] XCOM 2 was fantastic. I mean, if you look at what they did with the War of the Chosen, they pulled in a lot of stuff that modders had made and made it part of the game, because they were like, this is too good, like, we have to put this in the game. So, I really hope that, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they stay open like that. Like games companies, sometimes when the title gets too big,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they do. Do you know the most annoying fucking unit in XCOM I find is the mech dude that fires the grenade launchers. That shit always fucks me up. Every fucking time. He turns up, he runs forward, he kneels down. Choo choo choo choo!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blows up all your cover, knocks a bunch of dudes over, oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' mechs. I always go full like I want guys with the Talon rounds that take down the mechs. Or the Bluetooth or whatever the fuck it is. The rounds that kill mechs. Blue screen. I try to make my guys, yea yea. I try to make my guys immune to explosions and stuff. I fucking hate the mechs. Or I'll hack them. I'll get one guy hacking, I'll hack the mech, take it over, run it right into trouble, grenades everywhere. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know my honesty? Of the last few runs I've done, Sniper's not been a big thing for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rust is the fucking business, and by the time you're listening to this podcast, we will already be live with the Rust Yogg server.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plan limit, size of five, newbie friendly, everybody's just gonna get used to the game, basic rust stuff. Week two is gonna be unbelievable. You guys, if you haven't got it yet, get it and be ready for week two. Week two's gonna be phenomenal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I only have bitcoins. Well, I only take sexual favours as, as currency. For him, yeaah. You know, cause bitcoins could crash any time. Whereas a blowjob's always a blowjob. That's in the bank. It's very consistent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's like, uhm, you've, you've had worse, we've had worse, I've always, I've had worse, I just, I just, I feel fine, but when I laugh, I, I die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Worse than it is pneumonia, uhm, and better than it is a cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's when you know someone's gonna take it seriously, yeaah. Yeaah, I was like, whoop, and then she- There's like those certain warning signs, right? Where you first excite, you know, normally people think, oh I'm a bit sick, don't worry about it, I'll get better, I'll get better, and then there's that one thing that happens and you're like, okay. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean the last thing you want to do as well is call an ambulance and have to pay for it on the spot with a blowjob when you've got your appendix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's weird, cause I didn't know what they would like, but I mean, it's a common thing to have stones, isn't it, gallstones I guess they are, but also you can get kidney stones, can't you, and other types.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think my- I think like those- those little kind of- they look like little stars, don't they? Like little snowflakes or something, but quite big. Uhm. Yeah. I think you- I think it's supposed to be very painful. It's one of the most painful things apart from-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta break this down somehow, kids. Geez, I'm gonna die if I eat this cheese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I think people throughout history have always been very conscious of this and I think they've done their best to wear clean things and stay clean. I don't think, you know, sure, like, if it was a hot summer day and, you know, she'd be like really sweating her ass off picking apples all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But some people like it a bit raw and ready. And it's like fresh, fresh sweat isn't actually that bad. It's more like old date, like day old sweat is bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, no, so I don't even know how we got into this line of discussion, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like they all, sometimes they feel this pressure to try and make up for or do something else with their life that isn't that cliched, popular thing they're known for. And I think he was very, he worked for like, you know, like 20, 30, 40 years as this UNSF Goodwill Ambassador.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think those, those little moments or anecdotes really kind of, it's the little details in them, isn't it? It's the little kind of, it's, it's just such, so, so warming, such a better way to remember someone than, you know, a catalogue of what films they did or, you know, whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're, you're sad, but you know, it's the end of a chapter, you kind of, you know, you've seen everything, whereas if someone dies, sure, it's almost like, well, you know, there could have been so much more in that book, you know, so much, so many things that weren't, we never saw. Whereas when someone comes to the end of their life, naturally you feel like, well, that's, that was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've picked up so many books and they've just not held me at all. And I, I, yeah, I've been really disappointed lately. I've read a bunch of things and just been like, ugh, this is a slog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wouldn't have the guts. I would not mince my words about that. I don't think, I don't think you're offended by this p-flat writing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just fucking around. So, oh my god, I'm loving, yeaah, I'm loving stuff. I'm loving, it's, it's, it's the weather really, right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, being a- like you- you did a- you were at this morning on a sp- was it- what were you doing this morning, Sip?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go back to what I was saying before about sunshine though. Man, it's nothing like reading a real book in the sunshine. Cause you just can't do it on like, iPad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hotel food is not never that great though to be fair, is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had this conversation last week, those sips, and I think you're one of those people who doesn't know. Like, Jeremy P. Flax, you were talking about how people say, oh, the fruit's great here. Sips, you like what you like, and you like margarita pizzas. Right? Yeah. And like, pasta. Hummus. And chips. Cheese. A cheese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, and I don't think I've ever ordered like, room service food that I thought was good, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll be functional, it'll be, yeah, like chips and a basic sandwich, you know, but you can't get anything that's, you know, I never order a fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything nice. I never order a sushi or a steak or root service or do you know what I mean? Like anything that was vaguely upmarket at all. Like the grilled cheese or something. Yeah, I'll get like that maybe, yeah. And it's just not worth any risk on like anything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, me and Finn. Well, it's like one of the only things, you know, if James Bond was here right now, you know, he'd say, like, he was like, listening on his fingers, he'd be like, you know, fast cars, faster women, and slow food. Slow, slow food, yea. Slow food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People eat all sorts of horrible shit, so quite honestly, like, I'm surprised it isn't like a sort after spice, you know? Like, you know, it's got a, ah, it's a real, a real, sort of quiet taste, but, uh, yeaah, it's got a real pre-con scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know what it's like, it's like the inflation fetish thing though again, right? It's like 1% or not even 1%, like 0.001% of people, but it gets more publicity because it's so extreme or it's so gross and so weird. Because we're like, we just question it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think, I think what's more gross is like, you know, leaving milk in a flippin' thing with some mould and letting it go increasingly mouldy. And they go, woah, lovely, Stilton, oh it tastes so delicious, look, I'm just shoveling it down your face. Like that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is sour, fungus, moldy milk. Like how is that? Do you mean like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people find that really gross, but we're totally accepting of cheese, aren't we? You got a problem with cheese?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm starving right now. Yeah, go get some blood sausages. That has really set me off, cause man, I could, I could, I could really just go get a whole blood sausage. Well, my mouth's quite small though, so I could maybe put the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, food's an interesting thing, it's an interesting thing, and I, I, I sort of became a bit vegetarian, and then I became, I did vegan for January, and that was really hard, and then I sort of went back to being vegetarian and I tried lots of different things, and then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recently I've, I've uhm, I was in a few sort of restaurants, went out for dim sum, and I was like, man, I just can't, I can't just have the vegetarian options, I've got to try some of these things, it was quite nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so it was quite nice to eat a little bit of me again. Just, cause I dunno, it's like a treat kind of thing. But no, I feel like, I feel like I'm, I think being a vegetarian is really healthy. I, I'm definitely trying to do it as best I can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, man, there's so many vegetables. I've got a new little garden, I'm gonna plant some, I've got some, some plants I plan to plant in it. Nice. I've got some bulbs, I've got some little trees. Yeaah, so I'm, I'm moving to my, a new flat in like a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and it's got a little garden, so I'm looking forward to planting that up with some, some, some of, some of edge and just seeing how that goes. It's one of my, one of my goals. But yeah, I've been cooking lots of different things, cooking with, with weird stuff, drinking lots of weird like, teas and stuff. It's like a new health food shop nearby that's like quite cool. Been experimenting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say about half the things I cook are disgusting, and inedible. But some of them are like, wow, that actually was pretty, pretty good. And you know, I got some shiitake mushrooms the other day, cooked those up, and man, they were really fucking nice, actually. And it surprised me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I know a lot of people, cause I used to hate mushrooms, right? I used to- I know a lot of people- I used to- a lot of people hate mushrooms, cause they don't like the texture, they don't like the flavour, they don't like blah blah blah. But it's like the same thing with olives as well, that, olives, a lot of people don't like olives, but this, olives are such a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like, you know, you had a bad one once, sure, but that doesn't mean all of them are like that. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love mushroom and I think that I was watching this documentary about these guys who prepare sort of vegetables as the main dish, so rather than having like, you know, a big chicken leg or a big old whatever steak, they cook up a really nice squash or carrot as like a main dish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like how Sips is mocking me. Sips, you are the worst vegetarian. I visited you for a week and we didn't eat a single vegetable. Unless you count chips, which are not a vegetable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was like all cheese, pasta, pizza, like, like, like some salads, sure, but like vegetables wise. So, so instantly we did eat some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that you're not on my side here, as you're like, you're like a, you're like a, I dunno, like a half arse vegetarian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you can be a freelance science fiction writer, publishing your works on the internet under the pseudonym... Buck naked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't gonna be, I wasn't really implying that. Is there a bodega today? No, there's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, okay. Well, I'm ex- I for one, I'm very excited. Thank you for listening to the Dreyfus podcast this week everybody. Uhm, I- I'm a bit sad to hear there's gonna be no more Bodegas on the podcast, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did always feel a little bit tacked on, a little bit weird, a little bit unusual, felt a little bit weird having them. I think they deserve to be up front if anything, you know. We have to figure out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds good. If I'm gonna leave every podcast like drooling, uhm, this is probably not gonna, not gonna go so well for, for me. That is good. You might not need a bit of too much salt, because halloumi's quite salty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, same, looking amazing, feeling Minnesota, you know, the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I do. Unfortunately. What have you got? Tree. Give me the rundown. Some lights. We got like a garland and, uh, I had to buy some like, um, some of those zip ties to tie the garland because it's going outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it's like, uh, it's like, cause we have like, uh, a balcony, like, uh, off of our bedroom. It's, it, it sounds better than it is. It's never used. It's covered in bird shit too, but it has a railing and, uhm, we're gonna put like some,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever. Leaves or something on it with lights in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we got a couple of deer carcasses and, uh, some human skulls as well. And, uh, a whole bunch of dream catchers that were going to hang up all over the garden too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, these guys, like the, uhm, the amount of planning that like, uh, you know, they're not much to look at Christmas tree lots, are they? They're just like, some wire fence around them and a wooden sign and like, some dude wearing a lot of warm clothing, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That guy's a genius. He had to start planning like 20 years in advance to make sure that his stock levels were full, uh, for 20 years in the future. You know what I mean? Yeaah. That's a huge investment in time and stuff for, you know, he had to sort of say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a plastic tree, but it's not, it wasn't a cheap one. I can, I can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A test of that, it was a, it was a, but it's a, so it's a plastic tree that has tinsel on it already, like built in, also it has lights built into it as well, with different settings. Was it also made at Santa's workshop? I'm sure it was, yea. Santa just flew over. It's fairly magical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so this thing sits in the attic all year round and uhm, this year I went up to get it and there's no light in the attic so I had to fumble around. I got these like, you're seeing these like LED light switches, you know, you know plug, they have batteries and there's just like a, it's just a switch. So I put a couple of those up in the attic cause like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm up there rummaging around for all the decorations and stuff, and then I look-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so the corner of my eye I just see this massive heap of junk and, you know, that's not overly surprising. There's a lot of junk up in the attic. I'm already getting a fucking horror film vibe from this. Just, just put it out there. So I look over and my heart, my heart just sinks because the fucking tree sprung out of the box. Like I guess the tape


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just went a bit rotten. The tape that was holding the box closed. It lost it's stick and then at some point it just sprung open and the fucking, all the parts of the tree, cause it comes in like three or four parts, like you take it down and apart sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are all over the place and I just thought, you know what? Fuck, I wish somehow they would just cancel Christmas this year so I could just leave this in a pile and not- Jesus Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Do you do the whole Griswold like thing where you go out to the lot with your whole family in the station wagon and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Future Perian can deal with the bird's nest of Christmas lights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we sort of start buying presents like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we accumulate presents, like throughout the year, so it's like, we don't just do last minute shopping, like although some last minute shopping does take place, uhm, generally, just like a mountain of toys starts to develop in my garage, like early on in the year and then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We sort of forget what's in here, and then we end up with too much stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then uhm, but yeaah, I mean, it's good though, I like, the kids obviously love it and stuff, they're like looking forward to it. And both of their birthdays are kinda like right before Christmas too, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of the lead up to Christmas is not only putting up the decorations, but then sorting through all their old toys and giving a bunch of them away to make room for like the new stuff, cause otherwise it's just a fucking mess, like there's just toys everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, our kids are so small, there's not even any consultation required, it's just like, yeaah. They don't play with this. Do they not notice if it's gone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, Mumsnet comes up on all the Google searches when you're like, my kid is barfing. And then Mumsnet's like, I had a kid one time who was barfing too. And then there's like 20,000 fucking posts about kids barfing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, some people often times seek out the, uh, consultation of other assholes to make them feel better, you know? That is a concern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me too, god, I'm so self-deprecating and everything, but some people, like, their real lives are terrible for whatever reason or they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, not quite what they expected or whatever, but then they can make up for that on the internet by sort of reinventing themselves sort of thing. You know what I mean? So it's hard to get legit feedback sometimes from people who are so, um, you know, broken, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are the kind of things that Reddit posts are made of though, right? It's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of clicking as well. I think he's like, he seems to be turning off and on a light switch all the time. Possibly LED, I'm not sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm in there right now. I don't know who I dislike enough to put up there though, like, it's not, it's not a nice...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be a little bit weird. That would be weird. Yeah. Oh my god. Fucking, you wake up every morning, go outside, pick up the milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fun to lose, uhm, sometimes, if it's not too bullshitty, right? But if it feels really unfair and bullshitty, then it sucks to lose. It's not fun at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Save. God, I hate that. So uhm, so guys, we didn't do a podcast last week, so I wasn't able to tell you about The Apprentice. Uhm, but I watched it last night and it was, it was just much, much of the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couple times I had to close my eyes, uh, it was, uh, I don't understand, this is one thing I'll never understand about that show. In what world would you ever develop a product and brand it and then turn up to a pitch?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, for like a big retail, uh, giant, you know, pitching your product to them. Uhm, and then why would you do like a gimmicky dance or something stupid and awkward like that? Like who would ever think that that's a good idea? Like I'm not even very business minded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would never do that. I would go in and I would say, hi, this is what we've made. It's really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're happy with the branding, but it can change if you, if you need it to change and you know, there you go. Do you want to, do you want to buy some of these? And I would leave. Like I, you know, I wouldn't ham it up or anything. I wouldn't do a dance. Nothing. I'd just be like, hopefully this product just speaks for itself and you guys think that you can sell it. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it, like these people just like, you know, they wanna make money, I wanna make money, there's no dancing involved in that, like. But yea, so anyway, they go to this pitch, and they fucking start dancing and stuff, and it was just so fucking painfully awkward, it was nuts, like these, I don't know what,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he laid on a bunch of crack for the contestants this week, it appears, and they had some bad side effects of them performing a dance in front of a sales pitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's sure, but still like, Jesus, I mean, he seemed like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I watched a bit of that show. It was pretty good. I liked it. Recommended. Recommended. I mean, I don't actually really like The Apprentice that much, but it's like watching a car crash or a train crash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see what they're doing is wrong, but at the same time, I'm not an expert, you know, like I don't know what I would do in that situation, but all I know is that what they're doing is not right. I don't know. I don't know much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is Brian-y the feminine for Brian? Right, good question. You just put, you just put like an- Ask her, ask her. Should've, should've asked that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or wait, is Brianna the, the, the feminine for Brian? Cause there's always a feminine, like, you know, for like Christopher, it's like Christine or Christina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, for Steve, it's uh, Stevie. For like, you know, George, it's Georgina. Like, there's always an equivalent, right? You have to try to find, I'll tell you what though, what do you think the feminine name for Kevin is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Edwina. Edwina. Yeah, that's a little feminine version of Edwina. That's gotta be for Edward though, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. It's a very American presidential name. It is a very presidential name. Speaking of presidents, George Bush Senior, did you guys hear? He passed away. He was like 95 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably. He single-handedly bombed Japan, just him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, so guys, I still play Red Dead Redemption every day, Red Dead Redemption 2, and uh, every day I think I make a lot of progress, and uh, every day I make like 0.3% progress. Even though I do missions and stuff, I don't know what the fuck is going on, but this, the game is huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a bog standard rifle is like 220 bucks and you need to be ranked like whatever and you don't rank up that quickly. Fishing, you need to be ranked 14 to even buy a fishing rod.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Not even joking. That's crazy. That is crazy. That's the world we've come to. Uhm, on the topic of, uh, of Macho Man Randy Savage, there is a, there is a intro, I can't remember the name of the podcast actually, but there is a- Joe Rogan Experience? Yes. And they had, uh, Jake the Snake Roberts. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, yeaah. And he was telling this story about, uhm, how Andre the Giant, like, in between shows, Jake the Snake had to drive him to, like, the next show, and it was like 80 miles away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Andre the Giant was like, beer. He's like, oh okay, I'll get you some beer for the trip, no problem. He's just like sitting in the back of this van. So he goes in and buys like a case of beer, 24 beers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he goes and buys two cases of beer, so 48 beers, just for Andre the Giant, just for this 80 mile trip. And he doesn't pee once, and he finishes all of the beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know when people say an absolute unit, I think that Andre the giant was the one, right? Like he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really good. I like that. I mean, I only watched that bit. I didn't watch the rest of the podcast, but it just, it was interesting seeing Jake the Snake Roberts. Yeah. You know. It was really good. Later on in life and his stories. He's really good at sort of telling stories and stuff too. It's interesting. It's very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was incredible though. I mean, the thing is, like, he didn't even need to jump to get a slam dunk, like, just walk up to the net, deposit the ball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's a fucking, Shaq is an absolute unit as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those two were always pretty funny, like they were always like, in their prime, they were always on commercials and they did appearances on like Saturday Night Live and stuff, like they were always sort of, you know, for sports personalities, they had like good crossover and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well it happens. It's just, you know, it's the way, it's the ebb and flow of that life, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like it's just, you know, it's whatever, like the, all it takes for you is to be like in the, in the limelight for two seconds for doing something stupid. And then you'll be the, the butt of jokes on late night for like a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, of course. Whatever like the, like the, the, the, the, the go-to, you know, let's talk about or roast this celebrity. That's, that's like the, the butt of the jokes for the time that they're relevant in that capacity or whatever. It's always been like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of all ages. It's that time again. It's the time again where the spacey sympathizer comes at you with a well rehearsed introduction to the Triforce podcast featuring


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lewis Brinley of the Augscast. Hi. Pirian Flax, also of the Augscast. Hello. And myself, Sips from the Augscast. Here I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the guy who ate that spitfire, remember that guy? He ate a whole spitfire and it must have taken him, he must have eaten like maybe like a tiny piece of metal per day over the course of like 50 years to finally eat that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a rate of one small piece of metal per day. I don't know how you digest that, but whatever. I mean, I have problems digesting a banana, which is actual food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need a shopping cart, like that's some, you know, like I've thrown many shopping carts into creeks in my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they don't even bend or anything like they're made of like hard shit, you know, like it's hard to bend up a shopping cart, let alone how would you even start to eat one? Like how do you get the metal soft enough to like, you know, chew it up and stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not a case of just like, gnawing on it enough to like chew it to break pieces off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I watched that one too, the anorexia one, right? It's really, really, really quite depressing. I hate watching stuff. I know, like, it's a terrible, like, uh, condition to have and stuff, but man, it's like so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just feels so hopeless, like the people that have it. Like, did you see that woman who had it for like 45 years? She was like in her 60s or whatever. Just like her whole life revolved around it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It stems from a selfish place though, doesn't it? Because when people say stuff like that, it's because they want to feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they don't want to feel like dragged down by someone, right? Like, it's like, I think people say that, like, just be happy, just feel better or whatever because it's like hassle for them. Like this person who's not like feeling well or not happy or whatever, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's like the OCD thing, you know, when people are saying, oh, it's triggering my OCD or whatever and people with actual OCD get offended by that. Rightfully so, because OCD in itself, uh, is like this crippling condition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they're like the last thing on my mind when I use that language.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are potentially super offensive, you know, like calling something cancer, um, calling something AIDS. I mean, we do it all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it was, and think of the last like 10 years specifically of your life, what have you been doing? Playing lots of video games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then the 80s came along and like everything was clunky and beige and shitty looking as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, his blood sugar was low, he was just feeling like he was getting angry and annoyed with Princess Peach and he just needed to pick me up. Go for a Snickers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] IOS games are, are, are guilty of all this as well. You know, the whole concept of a whale uhm, in these games is like, so what they're trying to say with this is that uhm, basically a lot of these games are supported by a small amount of people who spent a large amount of money, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I think uhm, there's a, there's a, there's an article today I think it was on PC Gamer about Belgium potentially classifying Battlefront 2 and Overwatch as gambling. They're thinking about doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure. It kinda is gambling. It has the same addictive nature as gambling, doesn't it? It has, there's that, there's that risk reward thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't you think it's okay? I think Hearthstone is okay. Uhm, and I think it's okay in the sense that trading card games have existed for a long time and the, you know, it's kind of the same as like sticker books and like panini sticker packs. Remember those? Right. They still do. Yeah, you don't know what you're getting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you would often get doubles and stuff. I think the thing that with Hearthstone is that there's no ability to trade cards, duplicate cards with your friends and stuff like that. I feel like if they had something like that then it would be totally fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact is like, all of these games, stickers included, trading card games, magic, all of that have been around for years and there's never really been much of a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, in the fact that you get a pack of cards, you don't know what's in that pack, sometimes you'll get some really good, sometimes you won't or whatever. But the way that Hearthstone is designed is that there's always a handful of decks that are very very good, and some of them cost a lot


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is true. No, it's so true though, because a lot of these decks are expensive. If you want to be competitive, you want to play on the ladder and stuff, uh, you need the cards to make these decks. They're not cheap to like make, they're hard to find as well. And they keep bringing out new cards, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They get given like a big bunch of packs of cards like at the start of expansion anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus for them to just buy cards and stuff, they're doing it for a living, so it's not like a huge thing. If you're a casual player who, you know, works a normal job and you get home and you have a couple of hours to spare in the evening and you're playing this game,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it all, it is all cosmetic. There's no hero unlocks, there's no, there's nothing like that in Overwatch, to be fair. Yeah, and so I think I'm much less worried about that. Yeah, the fact that you can buy these boxes though does tap into people's like, uhm, you know, some of them,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of the events that are run only run for a certain amount of time, okay? So if you're in a spot in your life where you're not able to actively play, cause it's quite easy to actually get these boxes for free, if you play for a couple hours a day or whatever. But let's say the Halloween event runs for two weeks, uhm, and you just haven't been able to play that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's going to be, there's about 10 or 15 skins that are exclusive to that event, which are unobtainable after that event. So you have to either play a lot during the event or buy loot boxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In their mind, and if it doesn't go completely according to plan, they just fucking melt down. And that is it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you're constantly just trying to prevent them from melting down. So you're, you're, you're just trying to pacify them at all times. Yeah. Skirt around them and stuff. Get their mind off whatever it was that they decided that they were going to do. Like they're fixated on putting their like tongue into a wall socket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like going into the house at the best of times, but I had to, okay, I had to go to the bathroom. I was out here in the garage, I was streaming, I was playing some XCOM, I was having a nice time and stuff, and uh, we got to like a natural point in the game where it's like, okay, listen, I gotta take a break, I gotta go to the bathroom, so in I went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put the stream on pause, put some music on for the boys, and uh, went in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you could see that she was just in the corner getting really fucking frustrated about something. So I looked down, and she's got rubber boots on, but they're on the wrong feet. And she knows it. And she's about to have a fucking meltdown, okay? So I was like, oh, you know, let me help you with that. So, you know, I went in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, got on my knee, got right, right down there to help her. Was just reaching towards a rubber boot to help her. And she was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting increasingly agitated by this, okay? Just starts going nuts and slap me in the face so fucking hard, it was crazy. So I just got up and I was like, well, fuck, I bitterly regret coming into my own house at this point now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, to sort of say like, it's not right to hit people and you shouldn't be having to melt down just because you put your boots on the wrong feet in the first place and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so the whole thing is just like a big shitstorm brewing at all times. And we really have to just be careful and delicately tiptoe around my daughter like for the time being until she's about three. And then things sort of even out a little bit. They're more reasonable and stuff. They have less tantrums. But yea, they call it terrible twos for a reason and holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a great idea, but to put it in context, I think in her life, we've done it twice. Okay. And it's just because there's nowhere else to put her, because we can't force her to like sit on a step or anything like that, because she'll just get up and my son will just come over and like make fun of her and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well like, like rarely, rarely have to punish our kids. Like I think I've sent my son to his room once. Yeah. And it was just because he was just like adding fuel to the fire where my daughter was just like having a meltdown as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he was like teasing her and stuff, and like, we were both pretty mad at him, yeaah. So, so we sent him to his room, but in, for the most part, just the threat of punishment is enough for my kids, which is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And with my daughter, she doesn't really understand, like we, sometimes we threaten her, we say, you're gonna go to your bed, and she'll like, and she'll stop or whatever. But actually, the most effective threat


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know like, obviously through like, school and stuff, we know other moms, we know their kids and stuff like that. So like, eh, you know, we'll be like, alright, come and lay down, have your diaper changed. She'll be like, no. She'll start running away and be like, alright, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go ask, uh, Henry's mommy if Henry can come over and have his diaper changed then.


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[Assistant] So I was babysitting, uh, and when I babysit, it's like again, you're constantly tiptoeing around like these potential meltdowns and stuff. So I just, I let them both stay up because I thought there's no way I'm putting them to bed because it's just going to be a shit show or whatever. They can just stay up. So earlier in the day, I said to my son,


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[Assistant] You know, mom's gonna be going to a movie tonight, you wanna play some Mario later? And he's like, even then, holy shit, he almost lost it. Like, he almost shit his pants, he was so excited, like we were walking outside at the time. And then like, uh, he's just like so excited to play, but it's great because now I can be like, if, if ever there's any trouble, I can be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I know you like Mario and it'd be a real shame if you never got to play it again.


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[Assistant] When you're an adult, if you're, if you're at work and you're in your business suit and you're playing up or whatever, uhm, and your boss isn't happy with it, he's not gonna smash your Xbox, he's gonna smash your wife.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. That would be something else. The thread of it would be enough, like we wouldn't need the wife to be right there.


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[Assistant] So uhm, I missed The Apprentice this week, chaps. I didn't see it. I mean, I watched the one last week. Did I tell you guys? I told you guys about the one last week with the tour guides and stuff like that. I did not watch it this week sadly, so I don't know what's happened. We're gonna watch it tonight apparently.


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[Assistant] That's the thing, I feel like, you know, like, when people are desperate, it turns me off. It just, you know, like.


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[Assistant] On ITV. Don't ask me why I was watching Doc Martin, but there she fucking was. She was the typical American, lost in a small English village, didn't know what she was doing.


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[Assistant] Was kinda having some troubles with the locals and stuff.


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[Assistant] I'm Sigourney Weaver. Welcome to Aqualand, or whatever it was called. Remember that? She was in that. She was in- alright.


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[Assistant] She's gonna have like the Mon Mothma role in like, in future sci-fi movies, right? She's not gonna be like the, the hero or anything. She's gonna be like the motherly sort of like, you know, elder sage sort of person, right? So she'll be an avatar too, but she'll probably be like,


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[Assistant] The first one was, I don't know, actually I saw the first one one time in the movie theatres and it was okay. I don't remember much of it.


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[Assistant] Oh god. I gotta see that actually. Is it really really good? I'll tell you what I saw recently that I just didn't see for whatever reason. I saw Matt Damon's The Martian. What'd you think?


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[Assistant] Alright, okay, I didn't realize it was based on a book. But anyway, I thought it was perfect for movie format because the story was sort of simple enough to fit into two hours. You know what I mean? Yea, yea. Sometimes movies feel a bit rushed.


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[Assistant] And I think we're a bit spoiled now with these long ass like, um, uh, drama series like HBO, Netflix and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy who wrote the, uhm, the guy who wrote the Witcher books, like his royalties off the back of the Witcher were like pennies, like he basically didn't get paid anything.


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[Assistant] Uh, cause he did, he just like, I read this article, he just thought like video games were dumb. He didn't realize the industry was as big as it was. Uhm, he wasn't confident that like the studio was gonna make anything worth anything, sort of thing. So he sold the rights for like 60 grand or something like that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, hell yeah. Well that just goes to show if you're out there and you're writing something right now, make sure that you go for a percentage based cut in royalties.


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[Assistant] And funny like how back in the 80s, I remember growing up and like I guess this is, this is the case for us now with shows like Frasier, Seinfeld, uhm, stuff that's still kicking around that was on like a long time ago. But I remember in the 80s when I was growing up, my dad used to watch like,


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[Assistant] I remember growing up, there's a couple of shows that really stand out where I remember my parents were watching them and I'm sure that like there was a lot of fuss around them but I was too young to really realize like at the time. Uh, Dallas was one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's really strange, but yeaah. Yeaah, it's really weird, I guess. So like, so now, like, now we're watching these old, well, old shows like Seinfeld and Frasier and stuff the same way that our parents watch like those other old ass shows that probably nobody


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[Assistant] It is nuts, isn't it? Yeah, I never thought that Louis CK would be next on the chopping block, but there you go. So uhm, so yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Richard, Richard Pryor coming back after lighting himself on fire in a, in a cocaine haze is funny, okay? Like it's self-deprecating enough to be fucking hilarious, okay? And the thing is, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What he was doing was, well, you know, pretty controversial, I suppose, like at the time or whatever, but...


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[Assistant] Nuis, also Sips is here. Yep. Yep. And Pirianflex. Hello. Is here. How you guys doin'?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm good. I've been on non-stop for about two weeks now and I'm feeling like I'm getting to the end of my candle burning. You feel like a husk.


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[Assistant] So we had RTX this weekend, me and Perian went down and met up in London and we did a little stage show, a little panel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so, so, well, I mean, me and Duncan and Shin wanted to go to Australia and New Zealand, uh, January, when it was, you know, our winter, their summer, and we were like, let's go on holiday. We wanted to go to New Zealand anyway. They were like, RTX is happening.


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[Assistant] You know, it's a good excuse for you to swing by if you're basically going to be in Sydney anyway.


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[Assistant] Um, so we were like, yeah, let's go, go to Sydney for a week and, and do RTX. And we did. And in return they were like, oh, you should come to our one in London. We were like, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, so, so we actually, me and, me and, it was originally supposed to be me and Sheena Duncan going to London, but for some reason Duncan said he wasn't available, so Terps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. So, I mean, that's, that's partly what happens with us. You know, it's like if someone can't make it for whatever reason, some of the others are sort of still filling in. It was a slight obligation, but not really. It was more they did us a favor, so we did them a favor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, quite a busy, big event, honestly, for, I mean, if we did a YodCon, it would be even smaller than that. You know, Rooster Teeth are bigger than us, really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's the thing, we've been to Comic Con at the same venue before, and it is huge, but that, Comic Con is huge, you know, you get, I think when you label something, Rooster Teeth Expo, we automatically feel out of place there, right? Yeah, that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interestingly though, uhm, very few people, if only one person I'd met before, now normally we do insomnia and comic con, there's a good like, yeaah, I'd say, you see repeat offenders, don't you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was originally very, very low, but I think it's now like 10% or something of people who come around I've usually seen before in some way at Insomnia or Comic Con. Whereas at Rooster Teeth Expo, there was no one I'd seen before, and they were all clearly big Yolkscast fans as well. Mostly wearing t-shirts or knowing stuff that I didn't know, like do you remember this thing that happened? I was like, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a lot of people have been watching for a long time and it just showed that we have definitely an overlapping audience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because that's the Comic Con crowd, it's the weebs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, so me and P Flex met up and we hung out for a little bit, didn't we? It was a nice time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was normally when we do these events, we are like full on. Okay. So normally we do like a two hours of signing followed by another two hours and a half of signing followed by a show in the evening, you know, and it's like.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, that's gonna happen in London, isn't it? London's like a different world, Pflats. You might as well be living in a different country. Jersey too. I mean, you guys should just declare independence right now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's that the rich people who make the decisions actually like to have it as a tax haven. Just in case. You never know when...


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[Assistant] It's nice to have outs, you know, if you're rich, you gotta have like, yeah, contingencies, secret escape boat, like a pack, a backpack. Do you guys ever feel like you, cause I watched a lot of these Doomsday stuff, right? Do you ever feel like you need like an escape pack ready to go in case the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but everyone knows someone who has got a Land Rover in a garage and, you know, has got like an escape.


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[Assistant] Preppers. Well, I mean, it wasn't as much a bunker as it was the eighties or the seventies, I guess. And it was kind of the cold war where people were being told that, you know, nuclear war could like bust out. And so you should.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I tell you, I saw this thing about, there was this state agent that posted a thing back in the day, well about a year ago or something, and he basically posted the place where if nuclear war were to break out with North Korea and everything.


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[Assistant] It's gotta be, like, I reckon it's gotta be somewhere like Skegness, right? Or somewhere like on the coast, mile, like, really at the pinnacles where- Just go to the fucking Sheffield.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Likely to be boats, and a lot of people on boats have supplies like stored away, right, for long journeys on a boat, like tins of stuff, right? And also, like in a fallout sense, you know, if the zombies do like come swinging in, you know, it's defensible as like a coastal town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of, people get used to it, right? People get used to a certain way of, of being and hanging out with people and speaking and that sometimes in, in,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That gets into the culture so that you forget where you are. You forget that you're in a professional environment. And then when new people come in, they kind of, they kind of either get inducted into that quite quickly or they, they are too scared to sort of call people out on it. You know, most people don't want to rock the boat. You know, certain, certain people like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like me and Tom like butt heads sometimes because he's like actually willing to speak out about stuff that I'm blind to or no one else will tell me about. He's like, yeah, this thing's shit. And I'm like,


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[Assistant] Maybe this guy, the shagger, right? Maybe he just knows someone who he calls the shagger, right? Like, I don't know, imagine he's got a friend called Steve, the shagger. Shaggy Steve, yea yea. Shaggy, yea. The shagger. And so he's like, oh that guy's the shagger. Maybe that's why Shaggy was called Shaggy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this might be just a case of like, you know, he's actually just got shaggy hair. But, but then he's like, well actually, you know what, I'm not going to shut that down because it does sound like, you know, I've got this accolade as being, oh manly shagger. Oh yeah. And you know, you got to keep their reputation. If you meet a lot of ladies, they're like, oh man, this guy's the shagger.


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[Assistant] Also, I've done that, but then I thought I'd pre-ordered something, and then it turns out I hadn't pressed checkout or whatever, so I looked at it, I was like, where the fuck is my thing? And I looked at my orders and I-


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's super scary. Sometimes when you're a kid, you really just chose, sometimes you do that though, you choose the wrong movie. A little bit like a clickbait, you know, I feel like movies have always had this kind of, you don't necessarily get a good picture of what a movie is from the poster often, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And as a result, you end up sometimes just, just, just going into the wrong thing. Like parents taking their kids into movies that they shouldn't take them into because the poster looks like it'll be a kid's film or looks like it'll be happy or something. They don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They really look at it clearly. It's amazing how often that happens too, like, but back in the day.


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[Assistant] You just saw Prince of Doctors and you thought, fuck Prince of, that sounds like a great fantasy. Yeaah, there wasn't like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, those things are required by the BBC as part of their, their like license. So this is pretty unique in, in the BBC is a non-profit channel effectively and therefore it's, but as part of its mandate, it has to do country file and the farmer's thing and songs of praise. I actually kind of like country.


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[Assistant] I don't think people think that much about them though, and also TV's always been crap.


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[Assistant] Like, I remember, I remember when, it was the same when we were kids, like.


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[Assistant] I added this incredibly huge textbook, like the biggest book I've ever seen in my life. And it was like a film review guide thing. And every time there'd be like a TV, a movie on the TV, I'd get the fucking book out and it would have like this shitty paragraph and it would be like half a star, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was like before Rotten Tomatoes, you know, you used to have, well we had, like, in our house, like this, the 2006 fucking, oh more than that, 1996, um, Barry Norman Reviews or whatever book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so, so, so I, so Pirin was complaining about something, and I was like, man, you shouldn't be eating so much meat, and Pirin was like, I don't really eat meat, and I was like, whaaat? I couldn't believe it, it was just a classic.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was exciting. Everybody was, everybody was like on board after they got through the group stage. Everybody's like, oh, maybe, you know, they'll do okay. And they did. They got to the semi-finals. Pretty nice. I guess that Europe is in 2020, so we have two years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, uh, cause I was on a trip, I was on a trip to, um, to Canada at the time. I didn't have kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I don't think I watched the World Cup in 94. I think I was like balls deep in all of the North American sports at that age, like hockey and basketball and American football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the North American influence. Yeah, so I mean, if there was like a, an international baseball tournament, it would just be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, of course, yeaah, yeaah, I guess so. It's crazy then, so here are the teams. I'm just thinking of like actual teams and leagues and stuff, but yeaah, no, that makes sense, yeaah. It's the same with uhm, the Olympics, right, with hockey, like you have all the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? This, this, this movie chat has reminded me that I haven't seen Solo yet. I still have not seen that movie. Did you see it, Lewis? I haven't seen Solo either, no. Really? It was, it was actually...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard with games because you kind of know what games you like to play and you know what genres you like to play and you get, like, especially when you create content or you stream or whatever, you get a lot of people recommending their favorite games. Yeah. But it's like, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't played Hearthstone in months. I haven't even touched it. They just announced a new expansion too, didn't they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, great. I go through, like, I'm a very sort of like, phasey gamer, right? Like, I pick something up and I play it to death and then I move on, sort of thing. So I'm sure I'll gravitate back towards Hearthstone at some point, maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for now, it's just like, I'm just not interested in it at all. Like I can't-


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[Assistant] I think a lot of the board games that people have played in the past have been ported to tablet and stuff because it's easy enough to do that. The rules and stuff are easy to code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, you know, they can make a nice like UI and they play against people online and I, I feel like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are getting into them through there and then thinking, hang on, I would like to actually sit in a room with five other people or whatever and play this and like have a couple of beers or whatever and it's probably almost revived the like the board game market I guess.


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[Assistant] It's, it's half and half. I think you're putting too much stock into how many people are watching every minute of the video as well. I think, I think with a lot of this stuff, it's on in the background while people are doing other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it doesn't have to be ultra, ultra like engaging and stuff. I think it can just be on in the background and you know, I think that's fine. That's the way that I use it. Like I'd expect people to use it the same way sort of thing. Unless I'm missing something or I'm just old and dumb or something. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit. Battle Brothers Royale. Well they've gotta like fucking do something. There's a Battle Royale tycoon coming out soon. God. It's like a management game. You create your own battle arena and, and, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tycoon. Uh, well the, the, the, the next like big one that's coming out is Two Point Hospital, which is like, um, you like, you remember Theme Hospital?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the modern day theme hospital. So that's, there's no release date, but it's, it's, it's being worked on. There's like footage of it from E3 and stuff. So that's like probably for like management, tycoony games. That's the next like big one. Before that was Jurassic world evolution.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This mom is distraught because her 10 year old son is addicted to Fortnite. He thinks about it all the time. He doesn't want to go outside anymore. He just wants to play Fortnite all the damn time. And there's like this huge fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, article about it with a big picture of this, this mom looking like really mad while a kid is playing Fortnite and stuff and it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels like Fortnite is almost becoming like the next Minecraft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yeaah, cause I mean like my, like, like my son knows about it, because some, some of the kids in his class, I guess their older brothers played, or maybe they even played, I don't know. But, you know, there's like a lot of cosmetic stuff in Fortnite, right? There's like a lot of dances and like costumes and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, so does, so does mine now. He comes home, he doesn't even, he's never even played the game. And he's like, doing this dance. And I was like, what the, what are you doing? He's like, I'm doing this Fortnite dance. Oh, okay, great. Thanks. Thanks for making me feel really old!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like PUBG, I like the setting, I like the graphics and stuff, it was a little bit gritty and it felt like a bit hardcore and stuff and I dunno, I like PUBG. Fortnite, I can't imagine I'd ever get into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fun, like when we were playing it and we had like, you know, like consistent squads of people that we played with and stuff, it was, it was really fun. But again, you just sort of gravitate out of stuff, right? Like you lose a little, a little tiny bit of interest or something else comes along that you want to play instead. And it's not that I dislike the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played, the last time I played The Sims, I had, uhm, this, a gigantic woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just had a new, uhm, like a new pack recently with like all vintage stuff. So like, like Zoltan, the fortune teller and like claw machines and shit like that. All like the old Victorian pier amusements sort of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it added a whole bunch of other dumb assets that I can, I can add to buildings and stuff. It's great. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I wanted to finish Rimworld. I had it in my mind that we were going to have a colony and build the spaceship and get off the planet. Cause you know, I wanted to see if I could do it. Turns out that's really fucking hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That game just has this tendency to just throw torrents of bullshit your way, like, you know, it never rains, it pours in RimWorld, right?


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[Assistant] Man, it is, it's a great game, it is a really good game, but I have such a love-hate relationship with it, like it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you really gotta be in the mood for it, holy crap. You really have to be in a state where you, you particularly hate yourself at the time to put yourself through it sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it's awful to look at too. It really takes a while to get used to the fact that you're looking at ASCII characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was so bad. It was so bad. It was terrible, but it's one of those games where people can tell you stories of the time that they played and make it sound incredible. You know, like, I welded a guy into a locker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's such a mess and it's kinda hard to look at and stuff but...


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[Assistant] That's another classic something awful, like, here's my experience playing this game and it just sounds so fucking good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to be really hardcore to play that game for like a length of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way that, the way that the, like that the, the corp is, is structured, it's, it's an alliance, right? And there's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have like people who are like set as like, like diplomats and political people. It's like, it's, it's, it's super, super complex. It's nuts. It's unbelievable. They have, they have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely an experience, isn't it? But I just, like again, like most things, I just, one day I didn't play it and then something else got my, I think it was They Are Billions that got my attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's a combination of everything. It's probably, I get the feeling that a lot of, uhm, developers are very aware of, like, the genre that they're working on and what works and what doesn't. So, you'll find, like, a game will be released and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll just get this jarring sort of like, why did they put this in? Like it looks like they put this in because it's popular or, you know, another game did it really well, but they haven't done it as well sort of thing. And then those things just start cascading and just creating, I guess, a bad experience. And then there's, you know, like gaming culture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's reviews, there's lots of like, um, your friends suggesting it and stuff. And, you know, I guess a couple of people play it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't like it, so they say it's shit, and then everybody just assumes it's shit, and then nobody, like, I can't, I can't count the amount of games that I just haven't played off the back of a bad recommendation, you know, so they said it's not too fun, so I've just said, oh fuck, I heard it's not fun, I'm not gonna even bother trying it, and like, who knows, maybe I'd like it or whatever, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just the way it works. I think it's just a combination of all of those factors and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Slay the Spire just had a cool, it was like a sort of progressive deck building. Like Hearthstone had something similar more recently with like the monster hunter thing and the uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and some games are just needlessly complicated as well. And that's a huge barrier for people too. You know, like Hearthstone and Blizzard games in general work so well because uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For, for people just playing the game for the first time, they're simple, you know, like you, you can accomplish things and it feels good and, and they're simple to play, but they just become harder and harder to, to get better at and master, like as, as you, you like delve into them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Blizzard are really good at doing that, and there's a lot of other game studios that are really good at doing that as well. And then a lot of these games that come out that fail probably just aren't very good at doing that. You know, it's just a combination of a lot of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people that, the people that design magic, uhm, know the kind of people that are playing magic. And, and so they, the decisions they make, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reflect that, right? So, it is, it's a, it's a much more, I've never even played Magic. From what I've heard, it's a lot more complicated, like you were saying, there's like, there's a lot of different mechanics, there's a lot of different effects and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and that, that appeals to the, the sort of like core base of people that play Magic. But like, a game like Hearthstone, they're going for mass appeal, right? They're trying to make a game that on the outset is simple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that more and more people get into it. You know, like my wife doesn't play games, but she's played Hearthstone before. Because it was simple enough for her to just go through the tutorial and play a couple of matches with just like a dumb deck that she...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And say, uh, fuck, okay, no, I don't, you know, I gotta go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The kids poop their pants, even though they haven't. I need to leave the room right now sort of thing. It's just, it's totally different approaches to design, but totally different audiences as well. And don't get me wrong, there's some really hardcore Hearthstone players as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, you know, the game will always be designed, uh, more for everyone else than them. They just take it to like a further degree sort of thing. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like a lot of like the balance changes and stuff that come in, you know, like pro players would be like, this isn't good for the game, but yeah, it's probably not good for the pro scene, but for the game overall, for like all the grandmas and stuff playing it on the tablet, it's probably great, right? It's the same with, but that's who they're thinking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi everybody and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. This is the last one for the summer, right boys? Is that right? Yeaah. It's like the big, it's like the big summer, uh, blowout. This, this one. It's gonna be amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her, her mom was like the big trade, uhm, tycoon mogul person. Yeah, like I remember this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I didn't have that problem with the Game of Thrones series of books though. Like, I read a couple of them and then I had to wait for some of the newer ones to come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a couple of characters, right? The other characters didn't change much, but like they played their parts and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but in the Game of Thrones series, the characters all developed a lot, didn't they? There was a ton of character development for all of the really big characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well listen, there's this one show, it's an hour long, okay? It starts at 8 o'clock on BBC2 on a Tuesday, okay? And the show is called Inside the Factory, and it's fucking amazing, okay? Last on Tuesday, like a couple days ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you, it's insane how much toilet paper they make and the process that the toilet paper goes through to be made and stuff. It's nuts. So it shows you like a, it shows you factory and how they, they, they make something from start to finish. So like next week, I think it's like a, like a meat processing plant. They're going to show like how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you know, they make a million, you know, processed hot dogs or sausages a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very thin, solid, frozen coffee, right? But it's like, it's like freeze dried.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they, um, smash it up into like little granules and then they evaporate all of the, like the moisture out so that there's no, you know, cause it's like frozen or whatever. Uh, and then they put it into the, then they put it into like, cause it's like instant coffee, right? It's just like, like nabob or like nest, nest cafe or whatever stuff. Um, and then they put it into the jar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be like, you know, ready for- to sell or whatever. They just like blast a little like puff of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crucially, you've also missed two episodes of possibly the best documentary I've ever seen in my entire life. It's incredible. It's so fucking interesting, okay? So, I don't know if you've heard about this, but in London, right now, I'm sure it's still happening right now,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like thousands of people died, uhm, there was like a big panic and then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically Westminster turned around and said, well, fuck, we can't keep pumping shit into the Thames. It's going to kill everybody. Uh, we need a solution. So they got this like, you know, grand Victorian, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all, you know, this beautiful Victorian, uhm, sewage system underneath the city. At the time when it was designed, it was to cater for two million people, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the way that the sewage system was designed was that it would process as much as it could and anything that it couldn't, instead of it overflowing up into the streets and killing everybody and making people sick and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the overflow was to go into the Thames, right? So every day the overflow is like hit instantly, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, but it's pretty bad. I mean it's a fairly large body of water so like a lot of it will be dispersed out and stuff but there's a lot of junk in there and basically they can't keep doing it the way that they are because it's just gonna start causing more and more problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got the super sewer going in, and uhm, the way that they've done it, because the, the, the current plant, the current processing plant is, is completely overburdened as well. It can't handle it. It's, you know, it was built like 150 years ago, and it just wasn't designed for the volumes of today, sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of dumping it into the river, right? So all this shit is gonna travel down the shit pipe all along like underneath the Thames and it's gonna get to, uh, this new


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All these people in London who are just like, eh, I moved here 20 years ago and this is too noisy.


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[Assistant] The way that it works though is that I think they go with the simplest thing first because 9 times out of 10 that is what's happened. Like the simplest possible thing has happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So their line of investigating and questioning is around the motives behind that. And normally they can find those pretty quickly. They can find little cracks in the relationship or they can find little character flaws or things that they can use to convince a jury to say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This person isn't who he's claiming to be, you know, he's, he's claiming to be, um, you know, like a husband, but he's got like another life or, you know, like they'll, they'll discredit him where they can to sort of paint this picture that, you know, quite simply this person had some motive to do this and, and he's done it. And that's the simple, simple solution to this sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In finance, who accidentally, you know, ran over his wife or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And lock him up and put him in the same cage as, as, you know, a guy that has spent the past 20 years jugging everybody in the jail relentlessly because it has the adverse effect, right? Like that person is meant to go in and think about what he's done and try to better himself through that process or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you put them into a jail with, you know, all of these other assholes who don't care whether they're there or not sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, broken the law and had to go to jail sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, absolutely. I think they need to take some of that stuff into account as well. But, like Flack said, if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit. Like, they can't just send everybody to jail just for safety, right? Like, cause where will it ever end? You know, people, innocent people will be spending a lot of time in jail and we don't want a lot of people in jail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy George one was pretty sad though. His, his, his grandmother was, uhm, in Dublin at, in like 1910, okay? And 1910 Dublin was, it had like one of the biggest slums in the world, like it, there were a lot of unemployed,