[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least two. Diet, diet, diet, diet pepsis. A little bottle though. Yeah. A 10 ounce, 12 ounce bottle. Something like that. Least two, three. If I go to a restaurant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I'll, you know, I'll, I mean, I'm gonna have four cause they're gonna just, they go more and they keep bringing them out. And I kind of forget that in my head that counts as one, but I'm having four. But there's ice in there though. There's ice in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they, so, uh, so I was like, you know what honey, I want to quit drinking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cokes and soda products. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to say it on the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I'm going to stop the day my special comes out. So I won't have any soda that day. Uh, and just start that day. Just one day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that, uh, one to two more will be the most. But I do it every day. Yeah. And I think diet, I think even, even though it's diet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I drink diet Pepsi. Diet's the worst. I think diet, I think it leads me to other bad, it makes me want other bad stuff. Like, you won't go eat McDonald's if you, if you're not, can't have Diet Coke. I won't. I just can't imagine eating a Big Mac and drinking it with water. I don't think I'd want popcorn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] None of this stuff, pizza's a little, like you want coke with pizza, like all these kinds of things that I eat that are bad, all, I always wanted a diet drink to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do it with. And so I, to me, I'm just trying to pick like, I need to lose some weight. I need like, I'm working out. I just like, you can nothing, the top part of something's not going down. And so I was like, you know what? I think if I just targeted, it's not good for you anyway, to drink all that. If I targeted cokes and I was like, let's just start there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we can see maybe that's a problem. So March 18th, I'm starting to the day that my special comes out. I will not drink soda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they start getting rid of aspartame, but it gives you the taste, the cravings to want other things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, so I, I don't know if it's the problem, but I just, that's the one consistent thing that I was like, if I can just drink water, I could tend to eat healthier things. Cause I, you know, salad is okay with water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I have no idea. I might be completely wrong with this. It's tough to have a salad and a coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do it. But it's, uh, I mean, I still do it. Yeah. I could drink a soda. I would drink Diet Coke if I was working out as my liquid. I would be fine with that. I, I, I'm a big fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Don't say it if you, because I mean, everybody knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be pretty good. I'll answer you. If you, if someone even sees me out and they can, they can look and see me, they can make sure I'm drinking. I'll drink tea, unsweetened tea could be count, not sweet tea. It's gotta be unsweetened or water. I just think no coke products are sweet. You need those kinds of drinks. Uh, probably juices are fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you have something that you want to quit, and you can just tell us whatever, like, hey, I want to quit this, we'll keep a running tab, uh, you want, should they email probably best? Email, email's probably the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll be completely honest if I fall apart and have a diet coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you do it too. Uh, that's why I put all this at the end so no one gets to it. What are you quitting? Uh, well, nose whistling first off and don't worry, he did that. That was the first step. So let's just get past that and then we'll go from there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, all right. Thank you guys as always. We love you guys. All right. Fist bumps around, baby. High fives, high fives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Next week. See you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I am Nate, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates. Uh, thank you to Viori.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For sponsoring this episode of Nate Land, get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] V U O R I dot com slash Nate. More on that later. Uh, all right. Welcome everybody. We have a big, you know, big week this week. Uh, today actually just now we just announced Vanderbilt has a new head coach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Clark Lee of Notre Dame, if anybody cares. I care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm right at the good coaching age. I mean, this is where coaches are the new wave. They're 38 year olds wouldn't have been hired as coaches a little bit ago, but now that's a new kind of thing. Sean McVeigh at the Rams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause he's going to go. Yeah, right. He's going to go. He's gone. I'm very excited about it. Uh, it's who I wanted from the beginning. There's a few other guys you get very exciting. Coaching searches are fun, but, uh, we're, we're celebrating West End, celebrating at Vandy, Clark Lee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got a new chancellor. Big things are coming down the Vandy pipe. It's a very Vandy name. Clark Lee. Clark Lee. We mean business. Law firm. Clark Lee. Uh, so that's, that's all we got for today. Uh, and Sarah Fuller made two extra points. Yep. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's accomplishment. It's accomplishment. We got in the end zone. She kicked some extra points. Not a big deal. She did great. Congrats to her. I, uh, all right. Let's start off with the comments as usual, YouTube, Instagram, our podcast reviews in Nate land and neighbor gets you.com. Uh, which you said with emails, you do get emails.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we do. We get a ton. We're getting a lot of comments. A lot. So, you know. Twitter, I love Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Twitter, Twitter as well, uh, we, we, we try to get to what we can. We get a ton now, which that's to you guys, you guys listening or that's unbelievable, man, how much you guys listen. Uh, so it's very fun. I mean, you guys, you know, you gotta be good. You gotta get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, to stand out and, uh, some of the emails though were pretty long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but this guy knocked it out of the park. Our girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Travis Barkley, every week I feel like I'm asking myself at the start, how is this topic going to be funny? Then Nate gets confused by bacon bits, harrowing versus harrowing experience and I can't stop laughing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm so glad you guys are putting out something so silly and fun, I feel like it's the antidote to the rest of the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, Travis. That's true. That's what we are. We're the medicine. Is that an antidote? Antidote's the vaccine. No, that's what makes you not die. Like you get poisoned. And there you go, we have an antidote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Turler. That's the guy's name. T-U-R-R-L-R. Turler. I think that's his real name. I don't know. I don't. You don't? How do you not think that that guy's name is Turler?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ooh, Tyler. Tyler Ler. That's what I think. Alright, you going Tyler? I go with his name is actually Ter Ler, and he has to live with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does he want it to be? I don't know, right? Yea, go get the Ted Talks podcast. Yea, I mean there's other podcasts, like that's what's like, uh, that would be like if you're watching the Titans play and you go, it's just too much football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like they're resigning, like leaving a comment. He goes, he didn't even give us a two week notice. He just goes, like, it's so funny to think like, uh, you think he's at home and he's talking to his, his wife, his roommate, and he just goes, I can't listen to this podcast anymore. And they're like, ah, it's cool. So you go stop listening to it. I'll probably let them know. And then I'm going to stop listening to it like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you, what are you, what are you gonna do for that? Uh, you could just unsubscribe. I'm probably gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I am, I mean, I haven't looked at it in a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dylan? No, Dylan. I bet that's D-Y-L-A-N. I bet it's Dylan for sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's always Dylan, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This episode has been one of the most exciting things to happen on our honeymoon. Thanks guys. Congratulations. Dylan, the Pascal family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We lose one, we get another one back. Uh, that's very funny. Yeah. I mean, that, that does stink, man. Tastes positive for COVID. And then you're like, you gotta do any of these big plans. And then, you know, but you know what? Maybe you guys will be immune going forward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we appreciate it. Congrats you guys. Uh, look who's back. Sore Cigorb. Sore. Sore Cigorb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is very funny. Yeah. I mean, Sword gets it dude. Sword, keep your calendar open in case one of these guys fall out. You be, I'll be flying you up from Spain, you know, maybe I get some dead weight over here and you get some, uh, liveliness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Might hire a tour allure or just two, just to make a point. Uh, there's Miriam Gregory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron, I can't believe you made fun of my name after I stood up for you about the Disney logo. Also, my performance on TV was so local that even my own family could not see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea? Oh, that's good. Ryan goes a little too deep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maryam was like, oh wow. Okay. She does not have to, oh boy. She said, if I could pick one person to watch my YouTube clip, it was definitely not him at that table. I just got blogged by Maryam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're going to get another one by her next week. I just moved in with tour allure and he makes a lot of sense. They'd moved in together. Oh my God. They're mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I hit that tree with this golf ball, then you have to give me a kiss. I then stood over the ball and thought to myself, just don't duff this ball. I hit the ball and to both my surprise and hers, I hit the tree and got my reward. That girl on that date is now my wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Married her. Wow. Something like that, girl saw that, she goes, you only let something like that go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guy's going to stick an eight iron on a tree, 150 yards out. Our first day we're hitting golf balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was like I was in a sprint and got tired at the end when I read that sentence. I came out the gate. I was active here in the United States Navy security. Then it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was conducting my foot patrol through the hospital. This is the place where all of our wounded warriors come to a treatment following any injuries overseas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the TVs switched over to President Obama making the announcement that we had killed Bin Laden. It went from quiet to everyone, soldiers, sailors, Marines, nurses, and doctors in the world clapping, high-fiving, and chanting. Never felt camaraderie like that since. Loved the podcast, listened every week. Respect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Respect you do, Elliot. That's, that's, yeah, that's gotta be, that's gotta be, I mean, that's a moment to be there when that happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that went kind of crazy. Zoom Twitter was kind of new. Uh, and probably bad, probably can't say it now, but right when he, uh, been lying and got killed, I said, my cab driver is furious right now or something like that. Yeah. And I'll tell you what, the time it happened, people love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the first like thing that kind of went so crazy. I was like calling Soder. I was like, dude, I go, I get to have like 10,000, 20,000, like all, I mean, it just kept getting, then, uh, Donald Glover retweeted it. Uh, it was a whole, I mean, everybody retweeted it. So, but now, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's probably just the other Rasmussen family, the not successful one. I think he's at the successful. Why do you think he ain't made it, dude? I think this dude is crushing it. All right. Let's see what he has to say. Aaron's stupid. Oh wow. Uh, Whitney Houston wasn't a clutch performance. It was pre-recorded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coming from a pretty decent source in the Rasmussen poll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard that. I was upset by it. Oh, so she lip-synced it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, despite it being considered one of the greatest live performances by Houston, she actually didn't perform it live, but lip synced to a pre-recorded version of the anthem. I mean, they're probably doing it because it's like, there's just too many, uh, there's too much, too many variables. Right. That you're like, we don't want to get hung up, you know, and the mic goes out or like the mic picks up other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We pre-recorded this. Uh, we're lip-syncing this entire episode. Emily Miller. Hey guys, y'all asked about having an early experience with someone who later became really famous. When I was in high school, our assistant cross-country coach had the girls teams over to her apartment for a sleepover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guy would come over to a high school girl sleepover, but it happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It took a few years and confirmations from a couple other classmates for my husband to believe it. I didn't make this whole thing up. Keep up the great work. My husband and I love it. Emily Miller. That is. That's y'all mayor. That's figured it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's going on over there? Uh. High school girls? She's in her early twenties. It's like, I had nothing, just a bunch of high school cross-country girls. You know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's good. Oh, uh, yeah, I don't know. I'm probably, you know what? I'll pray. I don't know. I'll just, maybe I'll bring the guitar. Yeah. You may bring the guitar. I play guitar. You may bring it. He's so good. Uh, should it come to you? Maybe you would have the same story to go. I wasn't on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Derek Trucks is a child prodigy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Derek Trucks is unreal. I love him. 13 of Dom and Brothers. Yeah. Yeah, pretty crazy. He's my good buddy, Derek Trucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so maybe we have a pretty good source. John Mayer is my good buddy. Yeah. I've met John Mayer. He did, he did comedy too. Standup comedy. Why not do everything? Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cappedblack85, cappedblack85. Guys, love the podcast. Today's mention of Nextel made me remember a story about my late brother. We all had Nextel phones when we were younger and me and my mom worked at our church. My brother would wait until she was at the church and then in a deep and raspy voice come over her walkie talkie saying, hello Deborah, this is Satan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they would do a menacing laugh. He did this often, and it was always funny to see her scramble to turn the phone off anyway. Thanks for the reminder. That's pretty funny. Just to be doing it. At church. At church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And his mom, and she's probably just, you know, well, my boys are just so sweet. Is he from the South? I don't know if he's from the South, but I make him from the South. My boys are so sweet. They're just good boys. Hello, Deborah. This is Satan. He's like, I'm gonna kill him. Johnny Weiner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They held the NCAA D2 cross country national championship. You listening to me? My buddy had a terrible race and got third to last, which is not ideal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the awards banquet later that night, they were about to show a video presentation. My buddy assumed it was a highlight video of the race from that morning, so in frustration, he proceeded to loudly declare in a very annoying way, We know! We were there!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Immediately following his remarks, tragic music and leveled homes appeared on the screen, to which was the beginning of a tribute video for the first responders of the huge tornado disaster from the year prior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a ex's party, I asked every neighbor how many donuts they could eat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they had to. I proceeded to be very judgmental about all their answers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Needless to say, I never got invited back to any neighborhood functions. For the record, I put down 15 donuts and stopped just because I was doing it by myself and no competition and no one really even questioned me on how many I could eat. I know a Kyle Cox. There's a musician. Oh, that's him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but there, that's, that's super funny. That's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one really even questioning me on how many I could eat. That's my favorite line. That's, that's what, that's a great line. Cause that is the, the, to think of that, that's what everybody, you're like, you're eating this, you're like, no one even is asking. Like no one's going, hey, how's it going over there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're just like, yeah, no one cares dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would almost be a good, we should like, people should go and just be like, go to a party, bring a ridiculous amount of donuts and then see how many you can eat before someone says, Hey, how many donuts have you had?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just quietly try to eat as many as you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you are, if you're, yes, if you're zooming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you for you for sponsoring this episode of Neyland. It is a new perspective on performance, performance apparel. Perfect if you are sick and tired of traditional


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Old workout gear. I actually wore my sweater today for working out. It's cold here. I've been working out. Might have an injury, uh, but it's, uh, felt comfortable in my, in my nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sweater. It's, the pants are very comfortable. Everything is designed to work out in but doesn't look or feel like it. I've actually worn mine out too because I like, it's, the pants are unbelievably comfortable. So comfortable you want to wear it all the time. They make it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They make it so it looks great in everyday life, not only in the gym. Perfect for any workout. The Sunday Performance Joggers are so comfortable and great for my outside workout since they are warm, but not hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is how you get, especially when you're working out here, it's getting cold, we work out outside. And so you need little, you need balance. You need balance. It was easy for me to go online. I found all my stuff there. It's a perfect fit to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free return.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to Viori.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. Also, we'd like to thank


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, our new, our new sponsor, we had him one other time, BetterHelp. That's Better H-E-L-P. BetterHelp is the largest online counseling platform worldwide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Professional, licensed, embedded counselors that you can trust. BetterHelp makes professional counseling available anytime, anywhere, through a computer, tablet, or smartphone. They will, uh, BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Connect in a safe and private online environment. It's so convenient. I think it's a good thing to go get help. You can do it during this Zoom times. I mean, this is the time that therapists have got to be just slammed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With, I mean, people who are alone, you know, I mean, licensed professionals, counselors who are specialized in depression, stress, anxiety, grief, relationships, sleeping, self-esteem, self-esteem, convenient, professional and affordable. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want you to start living a happier life today. As a listener, you will get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash Nate. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp, H E L P dot com slash Nate. And one more that is brand new for us. The episode is brought to you by Magic Spoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Growing up, I loved cereal. I'd love, I mean, I'm a big fan of cereal. I like what cereal's doing. Uh, I eat it all the time. Uh, but it is full of, you know, it's got sugar and junk. It's all this stuff you're not supposed to eat. That's what cereal, it's the main thing. It's a dessert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Magic Spoon has this awesome cereal that tastes like kid cereal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are your breakfast routines? Do you guys have routines? Yea, we eat cereal. Yea? I didn't do it until I got married actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's, it tastes like. That's what I had. Yeah, it's great. Chocolate. I mean, it's awesome. Zero sugar, 11 grams of protein and only three net grams of carbs in each serving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all the free stuff you want. Uh, I love it. Cocoa's been my favorite so far. I had fruity too though. I need to get fruity. Cocoa's what I've had the most. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like chocolate cereal. Uh, go to magic spoon.com slash Nate to grab a variety pack and try it today and be sure to use our promo code Nate at checkout to get free shipping. And magic spoon is so confident in their product. It's backed with a hundred percent happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's magic spoon.com slash Nate and use the code Nate for free shipping. We thank magic spoon for sponsoring this podcast. Truly appreciate it. Uh, all right. We had, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, last week's episode did really good. The, the weather episode, people thought very funny. Said it was our funniest one. Yeah. You know? Except Turler. Except Turler. Thought it was too... For Turler, it was the final straw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, oh god, what are you talking about this week? Weather? You know, you do want to go, what do you want to talk about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I don't understand, that they, there's so much stuff out there. There's so much. You know what I've been watching? Ted Lasso. Ted Lasso is unbelievable dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched last night, I can't wait to watch it again tonight, uh, it's so, it's just positive. And it's so wonderful and it makes you so excited just to see some positivity and it's about whatever man, who cares? I mean, as a coach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually know Jason Sudeikis, uh, and he's that guy. He's, he's kind of a Ted Lasso, he's a very positive guy, awesome dude. And it's, like, that's what I mean. Like that's where you're like, it'd be like watching Ted Lasso being like, I don't, it's just, you know, who cares? You know, you're like, yeah, dude, then go watch any House of Cards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go watch 50 other shows that are depressing. I mean, like, it's, it's just a breath of fresh air to have something that's not that, not that I'm harping on Turler, but I'm gonna tell you, you know, but it's, uh, I'm glad, you know, we don't need you Tur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, but Ted last week, if anybody hasn't seen it, Apple TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, it's, I mean, it's an awesome, awesome show. I mean, I've watched three episodes and I'm gonna watch it tonight. I can't wait to just kind of do two a night. I just enjoy it so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Such a great episode. But last week, I thought we were, I thought it was great with the weather episode. It was very funny. It was, you know, we're getting in the groove, man. We're getting in the groove. What is this? 23, 24 episodes or something like that? 24?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we're going to, you know, cause we've got the holidays coming up, Christmas coming up, new years, uh, travel's interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're going to talk about travel. We're going to talk about, you know, what are you going to do? Are you guys traveling for Christmas? I'm not just because my family's all here. Yeah. You're going to Lebanon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no way he's going. Everybody's staying here, dude. Oh yeaah, I'm staying at home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Puffy coat, puffy, big coat, big coat. Is that what he says?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it as big as, uh, the Memphis one? You know, the Memphis is the one in the pyramid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on. Yeah. What have you not, have you, has COVID affected your life at all as far as you going out? It has. Cause it doesn't sound like it, Aaron. It sounds like you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know, have you heard that people should wear masks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody at Bass Pro shops wearing a mask. Yeah, they do. NASCAR race, NASCAR race. Everybody's wearing a mask. Right. I feel like when you see the mass, you see one guy, there might be one guy walks around no mask. Yeah. And you're like, all right, but there's, there's always one guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody else, when we went to Target this weekend, uh, everybody had masks on. We're, I think we're doing something. I don't know. We're doing something. Uh, someone's either coming here or whatever. Nothing, we won't travel far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Close spot. You like drive down to Alabama? Is your family still there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna head down there. Oh. You drive? Uh, I think we're gonna fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. It finds it's safe. Right. More stuff. What are you gonna do? Take a boat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does it matter? I can't smell taste. Are you there? No fever though. I feel like the taste and smell thing is the thing. I know I've known now a couple of people that have had it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And taste and smell is the, that's your, that's your ticket right there. It's the best indicator. Your telltale sign. Yeaah. I feel like you either don't feel anything or you lose your taste and smell. Which is, it's at least nice that there's something. Cause you get, we're so scared that it's just, you sneeze and you're like, it's it, it's happening alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, alright, I'm listening. This guy's talking about what's going on currently in the world. Uh, so traveling is a big deal. It's a big deal during the holidays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's, is it the most, when's the, do you know like the most? Most traveled? Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Why is Thanksgiving? I guess Santa, Santa Claus travels, so Santa's gotta come to your home, so that's, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would that be the conversation comes up? Maybe man. And you go, it's my favorite secular holiday. And your family would just, you come from a smart family though, right? So you guys probably use. I guess I remember using.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's, you use it in, I mean, I don't, you know, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just stomp on the ground when you want something. You know, it's like how horses talk to each other. That's how, that's how we, that's what goes on in our family. Just walk in, just hear noises. You listen to the whale sounds. You're like, no, my mom's cooking something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not using secular, I'll tell you that right now. If I threw that around my family, we'd all be like, oh alright, alright. Woah, someone's taking some online classes somewhere, aren't we? Oh wow, must be nice. Must be nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like a smart family. I mean, y'all, I think that's what, yeah, it's like, it's probably good. It's good for y'all to debate. You got to Notre Dame. I mean, you've failed them now, but up to Notre Dame. I mean, he's like, it worked. You know what I mean? Like everything going up has worked. He did his part for sure. And then he come on with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it uh, is it Mandarin? Mandarin?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, and then it can go anywhere. Yeah. And you just float around, you just go in the ocean, you live in a submarine. Yep. I have claustrophobia, it wouldn't do good. I'd ask to go to the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if it's, if it's up your alley, you know, you feel you're down there alone and then you just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, what are you going to say, you know? Uh, where, where are we at? We're at a hundred feet. Let's do a hundred and fifty feet. You know what I mean? Let's see what's, what's going on down there. And he goes, all right, let's do a hundred and fifty feet. And then you do that. And then he's like, all right. And you go, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you go, we went down to 2000 feet, did your ears pop? They didn't actually. And I think that has something to do with the submarine. You're like, oh, I bet it does. Sealed. Bet it $150,000 a night. Never left the back of the truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's great. I thought it would be like on top of the Disney castle. Yea, something like that. There's something up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I can pay for your whole week. I just went to Vegas. If you're a big spender, you could stay there for free. So everything they do in Vegas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I figured out what they do in Vegas is, you know, like if you go golf, I stay at the Wynn hotel where I did show at the Wynn. So if you go golf, there's like 500 bucks to golf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But all these numbers are just up there. So when you, when they give it to these high rollers, they're able to go, I gave you 500. They gave you a hundred thousand dollar night hotel room and you go, man, it was a hundred thousand dollars. It's like a fictional number, but they need the number to be high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the person that feels like they're getting something, I mean, the, the win golf course is awesome. I played shadow Creek this last time I went, uh, with my buddy rich day. He's a, he listens to the podcast and, uh, and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We go and do it and then they, uh, the Shadow Creek is like unreal how nice it is. That's where they did the match, the Tiger and Phil match, the first one. And so everything is like top notch, but it's like, yeah, they're, they gotta make these numbers be, otherwise if you were high roller and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I learned too the odds of uh, blackjack. You know the odds are low on blackjack? It's cause of the people in the middle. That's why the odds are low.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you gamble blackjack, if you raise your money correctly, so like, blackjack comes in runs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're either be like losing, you gotta just sit there. And then when you get on a good run, you gotta double, triple, like keep raising your bet. That's how you win money. And what happens is people in the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like people that just go to a $5 table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they bet $5, they always bet $5. They don't ever go to 10 or 50. Like you should be going 10, 20, 50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just talking about like, well, I was in the middle, the whole casino. Like the, if you go to the high roll of tapers, they're like always on the edge or something like that. But like the, yeah, where everybody else is. Where it's like a $5 table or $25 table or something like that. And those you got, you got to raise your bet. And then that's, that's how you win. That's how you win money. So when you're on a run in blackjack, you raise it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there you go. There you go. Little fun fact everybody, go to Vegas. Spin all of it. Vegas is depressing right now. I bet. It was, we were there and everybody's got masks on, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just seeing the signs for like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bruce Springsteen coming and you're like, he's not there. It feels like it would be like a movie or an apocalypse where they're just seeing, it's just very weird, man. I mean, all the places are closed and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the casinos are closed right now? No, no, the casinos are open and then, but it's half, it's like all half. But I mean, you, you, you have, they have glass in between where everybody sits. You gotta wear your mask the whole time. Even if you're gambling, even if you got a drink, you get to take your drink and put your mask back up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just kind of- So the high roller poker guys, they're wearing the mask and sunglasses? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't even see their face at all. Yeah, I walked by, there was a lot of people playing poker, but they all had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had glass in front of them. You sit down, there's glass behind you and in front of you. So you're just in your own little bubble. And then they, I mean that guy had his hood up, sunglasses, hat and a mask. It's like a stormtrooper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's just, you know, can't get a read, can't get read off this guy. Like there's no tell when you're hiding everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think so. I think if you got a view like that, you're going to wake up and look at it every day. And before you go to night, you're going to look at it and you're pretty like, man, that's crazy. Like you, you're just like, I can't believe this is like, look at, you're just in, you're laying in bed. There's something about laying in bed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna, you know, for all those times we've had to stay in those hotels where you just see the roof. You know, like you're going to want to see these. That's like Salt Lake City. When you go there, you stay in one of their hotels, you can either pick them out and view the other side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mountain views are like, you know, you see the mountains every day, you know, and you're, you go look at them every day and you're like, cause you don't see that at your home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then you go from that room to a Bass Pro shop with no windows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you see the sun? How much you think you saw the sun that day?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sun- The sun's going down at like three o'clock right now. I know. I mean- It's ridiculous. But if we- So we talk to the sun and he's like, you see Aaron? He's like, no, I don't know. Did he- Was he out? That's what the sun would say. Oh, did he go? Was he at- Was he in Springfield? I didn't even- Why didn't he say something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, these are all weekend. Dude, I would've dimmed it for you. I had no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome. You know, that's like show business. That's uh, Bill Ingbaugh, when he...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I opened for the last special he taped. I opened for him and he was telling me, God, it was a theater. We went to the theater. It was in, uh, maybe it's in Peoria, Illinois or something like that. It's something like that. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah. And, uh, we go to the theater and he told me when he, he goes, when I first started doing blue collar, he got on, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His name was, he was doing a theater for the first time, right? So he's blue collar, doing a theater first time, gets there, his name is misspelled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, all right, whatever. You know, and it's like, you got a little, you're selling out this theater. You're like, you could spell my name right, dude. Like it's one thing at comedy clubs or whatever, but then whatever. So, and then when I opened for him for a special, which was like 20 years later, he gets there, his name was in his spell. His name was spelled at both times. Wow. Which he tells a very funny story of this is true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I? I don't know if I've told this story. About them flying private the first time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first, if it's, uh, uh, the first time they're flying private, so, uh, what I, from, if this, if, when I was told this story, and I believe it, I could be wrong in all of it, but we're just, Bill Ingvall, Jeff Fox, whether they're flying in a private jet, it's like the first time kind of really making it. And so if you get in some of these private jets, they don't have bathrooms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the bathrooms, you have to pee. Basically you don't pee because it's like 40 minute flight. Usually it's kind of quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but if you have to pee or something that's usually under a seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so that's where the tool that would be. So, but you don't use it. So they get, they get up in the air, they're going, you know, on a private jet, dude, this is like, you made it. And then the pilot comes back and he goes, you know, look, I don't know, I don't know what to tell you, but it's, I mean, it's happening. Like something, he ate something. And so he had to lift the seat up and then just go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the bathroom, not peeing. Number two. Number two. Just had a sip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two pilots. And so the other pilots are there. And the whole time he's just going, I'm so sorry, Mr. Fox, I'm so sorry. And he said, I sit there and you're like, that's all right, man. You go from this amazing time to like, we made it dude. We're in a private jet just to the pilot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That quickly, dude. And you know, you know the moment where you're like, everybody's at the moment where you're like, yeah, dude, it's, it's over. Like, there's nothing I can do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the last thing the pilot wants to do, is do that right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And for him to have to do it, you go, it's bad. And just to sit there and be like, I don't even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be like going, just going into a bathroom with someone. It's awful. Yeaah. Pretty great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grass is not greener. Like that kind of thing, like where it's, yea. You could think something's going green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once you, the first thing that I've realized that I've tried


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's when you're like, oh, I wish I had that airplane. But that's, I know, but that, but you do wish you had that stuff. And then you realize it's all happening everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the bad stuff is happening. You do go, I wish I was flying private, but then in that private plane, that happens. So isn't that grass is greener?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so, I think it applies. It's something. On the flip side of all this. They, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like I've, I've tried to get, I've tried to get better with, you know, cause we get very kind of competitive in this kind of field and you do think you're getting slighted a lot. And so you're thinking like, I didn't have, you know, what I, I dunno, it could be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, your hair being done for a special, you're like, they don't even give me someone to get my hair done. I look like an idiot for my special. Why don't they care? Or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you talk to someone else and you're like, oh, they didn't do that for him. You're like, they don't do it for any of us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't, no one wants to spend this money or no one wants to, you know, I'm not talking about the hair thing, I'm just making it, but whatever it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody is getting sighted and it's just a matter of level that you're getting sighted at. Maybe it's just another guy that's nobody or maybe it's a network on TV, no matter what.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one likes us. No one's in favor of us and they're trying to screw you. I bet that applies for everybody in every business and you got to just wrap your head around. You're, you're not the only one that's getting treated this way. Yeah. And once you could do that, that was, that's a big help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause otherwise you just think everybody else is getting treated amazing and you're not. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do whatever you want when you're on your own island. We have seven stars. You're like, all right, so not six. He goes a little bit better than six. You go, well, five is great. Five's the best. Hotel staff, outnumbers guests. Six would be amazing. And he goes, yeah, well, six would be amazing. Too bad we got seven. Like that's just never styling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I'm not believing your seven is the problem. I would have believed six. And he goes, you believe whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I was about to say. I didn't know it went beyond five. It goes to, yeah, well, apparently it goes to seven. Apparently. I think there's that you're just being ridiculous though, but you're, if you're on your own island, then it's gotta be unbelievable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I got a camera. I got to grab this, uh, camera. I'm going to go. I got it. They're blowing my Ford fusion up right now. I didn't know that you'd send a Rolls Royce, uh, but it's got, it's a, it's part electric. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do we need to charge it? Nah, it does gas, most gas. That's like some of those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Prius, you thought Prius was like, I thought it was like this electric car, you know, when it first comes out, you're like, no, no, it's just a gas car. It does some other stuff. It's like full on gas. Oh, it's not electric at all. The Prius, the first Prius is just gas. They're just good gas mileage. Maybe the motor or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it's a hybrid, but yea, but a hybrid is, no, but you're not charging it. I think it charges as you drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which, you know, I think it's just better. It's not like Tesla.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mattress. I mean, I would, if you gave me 17 pillows, I would bet money. I would just go, I would want one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just don't, you know, I don't want to be that guy, but it doesn't, I don't think we got a match here. I mean, how big, would you do a big pillow or a little pillow?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there, but I, I like a thicker, like a lot of hotels have too thick of hotel pillows. It's a big problem. You lay on it and the pillows are just gigantic and you're sleeping like with your neck cranked and you're like, I don't sleep like this regularly. But it's like pretty tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we stayed in Vegas, the pillows were too big. And I bet you could ask for one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 17 I would be. That's a lot. I'd want to lay them out. The fact that you get 17, I'd be like, well, I'd like to see all 17. You know, I mean, you want to go, I want to, let's do it. If we're going to do it, let's do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of duck feathers, tell me, I was looking to tell a story, but my buddy, uh, Travis, he had a friend, uh, and she, her, their, her parents, her dad or something bought two ducks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two baby ducks, right, to keep when they were kids. Hey, I got you baby ducks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then how much is there two, three more weeks where you go, God, this thing is just rockin'. This thing is getting enormous. Enormous. And geese are so mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they would just get home and the house would be ripped apart. Cause these, imagine sweetie, I bought you two baby ducks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they get to the point of that, I mean a geese looks very different than a duck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when there are babies, they all look the same, but then they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are ducks acting so different than what seems how ducks act? When I walk by a pond and I see a duck, I just don't see them being problems. But our ducks are starting to steal stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, what, what, at what point, first you just think, Oh, I misjudged ducks. Ducks are not as good as I thought they were as pets. And then you're going now, I bet it's a full on goose, a full on goose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't think you can get them in your car and go properly, let them go in water. You gotta let them go in your regular neighborhood. It's a goose that's furious. That's the goose. They never let up. They don't want to leave. They don't want to leave. They never let up. A goose never just goes time out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I don't think a goose ever, you know, is like, hold on, time out. That's, and you, I don't think you'd ever get that moment of relief with a goose in your house where you go, all right, all right. And then you get everybody to stop for a second and go, this is, we need to figure something out. This is not working. I don't think you get to say that with a goose. I think a goose is just full throttle. The second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You realize it's not a duck. It's, it's a problem to the day you get really good. It's like owning a boat in the first two days. The best two days of buying a boat is the day you buy it and the day you sell it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Up afterwards that I don't, that one hour of enjoying it was just, it's, I wouldn't, it's not worth, it's not worth it. You know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unicorn poop. Like he just says stuff that's like, to make believe, I'm going to go, you know, that's just an idea you're throwing out there. Where are you going to go stay on? Where is it? Mars? No, this is just like the space station. Oh, you just stay, it just floats around in space. Yeah. Like the submarine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Working on it. Yep. Sorry, I'm not as up to date to Mars travel. We're taking hotel guests next year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be a big deal. I'm not saying it's not a big deal. I just asked a simple question. I didn't really think that people on Mars, I haven't been up to date. Right. And I hear about Mars a lot. I don't think the tone should have been thrown back at me. I'm trying to make a horrifically boring podcast be funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's Ryan Span. You're quoting Ryan Span over you. That's fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys want us to come pick you up? Nah, we're gonna, we'll just drive down. Take Southwest, that pretty easy flight down to go to Mars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your password? I need to check. Did you guys look outside a lot? It was on my phone quite a bit. I had a fantasy draft. So I did that up in space. You know, did drafts of Cam Newton third round. I don't know if that was worth it, but it's just like, that's what, you know, that's what would happen. I would be like, I just don't want wifi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a straight up soap opera. What is it? It's Beverly housewives on a yacht. It's called below deck. Yeah, dude. The way you saw that. I thought it was on PBS. The captain, Mr. Spinner over here. You know what? I watched something about, uh, the history of Beverly Hills. Oh, that's cool. What is it? It's these four women and they.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, argue and fight over, uh, having just a lot of money and stuff like that. And you're like, oh, that's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they have a lot of money and they go, yeah, and they, a lot of them have to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, like you got tired of this Las Vegas view. You think you'd get, how much do you think you're going to go up there and be like, let me guess, the earth again? Uh, yeah, I'm good. He goes, guys, you want to watch the sunrise one more time? Oh my God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you still just go, I can't believe I'm in space. It's like when you stare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you can stare at the ocean a lot or if you can, you know, there's stuff like in the wilderness. You could watch trees. If you're out in the mountains, you can go stare at mountains. You go to, uh, you know, Wyoming. I think you could stare at mountains for hours and just keep staring. And I bet there's enough other stuff going on. I mean, you're floating the whole time. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, no, I bet they get, yeah, yeah, I think they get tired of it. I think it's just the, like, you just want, it's a long time to be up there. The one guy spent a year up there and then, uh, came back. He thinks for the year alone, right? Uh, Kelly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The body changes. The ball head dude? Yeaah. The twin bro- oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who drove this? My twin brother? Can't even put my feet on the pedals. Uh, 6'5".


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He thinks they are there. I think I would have heard about it. I said, where's this going? Mars? There's a Tesla floating around in space, dude. I don't know what's going on up there, man. We better go up there in two seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the most expensive flight. The Martian, where was he at in that movie? He's at Mars. That wasn't a documentary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you click on that? So it's first class. So there's people in coach and then you're in the front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How, yeah, yeah, that, I mean, is it like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The longest fight is like 24 hours, so. Uh, that's, I got that here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a long, it's a long way to wake up and you're like where are we? Newark, New Jersey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess we made it. Yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. You just get off the plane and you're like, alright, this is a, Elise, where, where are we? Newark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably was Denver. Denver's number five. I'm getting pretty good. You're getting a lot


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not weather. Weather delays? Yeah, weather delay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, newer, cause all that Singapore traffic comes in. Uh, guys, we're about to make the descent. We're going to have to circle around for another two hours. You've been on this flight for 18 hours. I couldn't, you know, I've been asked to go to Australia a bunch and I do, I want to go. I kind of now want to, I want to wait till Harper's like 10 or 11.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so she can, so we can take her and enjoy it. But that flight is, makes me, especially now feeling claustrophobic. It's like the flights so much. How long is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. That's a long day. Where'd you go, Springfield?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't sleep? You just, you did one night? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the, when the people, or there is reoccurring people, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's the same crew. Yeah. So is that a sign to you that it wasn't documentary when you go, wow, this girl seems to be sassy every episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good. I've never watched it, but it's, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say working at a restaurant, but uhm, yeaah. No, yeaah. My aunt loves it. Go ahead, bruh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I've been to Turkey, Istanbul with me, Joe List, Louis Katz.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we, you know, the, you know, there's a big fight scene in, uh, taken or taken two or something where he fights at a bath house and we went to that bath house and we did, we did the bath house thing. It's weird. You just lay on a like thing and a guy just hit you with branches. Yeah. Like all that stuff. And then they, and he, and he rubs you down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's pretty crazy, you know, it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it did. Would you do it here? I mean, it's honestly, as a guy, it's like, it looks like your dad with no shirt on, it's like rubs your back and you, and then just hit you with stuff and you're just kind of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After a minute, you're like, ah, you're like, you're like, you know, you're like, okay, this is good. I get it. You know, I mean, it's, yeah, it's a little uncomfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the guy it looks like you get in a bar fight with right out, like it's that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, oh, I'm going to wash her back. I mean, there's, it's, it's the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feel like testosterone in a room, right? Doing the most, the least testosterone things a lot is basically what it is. It's just like, how can we get men?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crammed in and didn't make them do not man stuff. I don't even take a bath in regular life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like eating a dog, you know, in other countries. I don't know, I made that up. But they're, it's, I think it's, uh, uh, I think they, you know, they like it. I think it's like going to somewhere here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like other countries are like, it's like nudity is not a big deal in like other countries and like, you know, that you grow up wine and, uh, France, you're drinking wine or in Italy, you're like 10, 11 and you're having sips of wine. So I mean, I think it's similar to that, except it's a, it's a man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What's a big, I mean go watch the scene from Taken when he fights, we're laying on that. Like a merry-go-round kind of thing. Like is there, look up like Taken. Yeah, it's like the, he fights, uh, someone on that table. Yeah. And that's the one we went to. We went to it. That flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we'll screenshot that. That jumped up quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, you know, we, so that flight we go, and a little fun fact, if you fly over a certain amount of time, I want to say it's 12 hours or something like that, and if you have a, oh no, if you're layover, I'm sorry, if your layover is over 6 hours to 12 hours, I can't remember what the number is, you get a hotel room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They give you a hotel room, which we did not know that. So we, we, we specifically, we were going to Kuwait and Iraq. And so we specifically got a flight that had an 18 hour layover in Turkey and Istanbul. Cause we go, Oh, let's just go walk around Istanbul. You know, we can go see it. And so we go and we got a hotel room at first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we were like, we get one room to shower and stuff in. But then we found out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you get that long of a delay, they, they, they have to give you a hotel room. So they gave us a hotel, we all got our own hotel room. We just went and showered real fast and then we were out and about and we just walked around the city basically for the rest of that time until we went back to the airport. It was pretty great. If you ever take a long, if you ever take some ridiculously long trip, get a long layover in some town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some country, and then just go see that country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we went and did that. And then one time when I flew to India,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember, uh, this girl, I was sitting on the edge. I was in the two seats cause I've, dude, I've flown to Germany. I've been in the middle, uh, going to Iraq. And I remember I moved my seat back. I leaned it back and the guy punched the seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I like looked at him and I was like, you know, and that was about it. And he's from Germany, probably kill me. I mean, but he was just like, oh, he just hit it. It was like, don't do that. And you're, and then like your seat's back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the seat, the seat leans back. You're allowed to lean it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what, like, you're just making up that you're like, well, you can't do it. You can, that guy could lean his seat back and we're in the same situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the difference of if you both lean back, it's the same amount of room?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can't, I mean, look, I get when some of them lean back, I get it, people slam it back, but if they do, then they just, then you're behind someone that does that, and that's what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then sometimes you don't get it, sometimes you do do it. I am now so self-conscious about doing it that I'll do it a little bit, but I won't do it much because I'm just so scared. I've had someone on one of those long flights I took, uh, the lady goes, Hey, could you not lean your seat back? My husband got, he's very tall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, I mean, it's like a 12 hour flight and you're like, what are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and then that guy puts his seat back. So he gets to put his back, but I don't get to put mine back. He is tall. He is tall. Like there's a weird, I think just put it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They get on, they get on whenever they want. And then they go, ah, can I sit there? And you're like, yeah, you could pay to get up earlier. Why don't you do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they don't, they don't do that. Anyway, so this is the thing I was talking about. I was sitting on the edge and this girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, uh, so she goes, I go, okay, whatever. And, uh, so I switched seats with her and dude, she did not move from, it was like Washington to India. Jacket over her head. Didn't move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, you know, when the sun sets and you got to close the window, cause you're going, I don't know how to do all that stuff. And they, I know you're just kind of looking at her for movement at some point to be like, are you okay? What's happening? I guess I get, I, yeah, she's either the greatest sleeper that's ever lived and we landed and she's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't even know what's been going on dude. Like, you know, there's been, a lot's happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. That's insane. That's insane. If someone ever did that, that's where the line gets drawn. That's crazy to me that that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What you cannot put that on there. That's not the seat goes back. That's the deal. If you want to argue, it's not a, we're not policing each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not doing, some guys not going, he's, he's not rigging the seat to go back a little bit farther. You know what I mean? Like he's, it's going back, whatever it goes back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he wants to lean him back, he can lean him back. That's his right. If you don't like it, maybe your fight's not as comfortable. Sometimes they are, sometimes they're not. Sometimes you get a comfortable fight, that person doesn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't want to deal with stuff like that, you can go sit in different parts too. You can pay more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can go sit where there's comfort and you're a little bit farther away. There's other options.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if a guy wants to throw it back, then he gets to throw it back. That's it, it is what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's, that, that guy puts it on there and he wants to start a fight. That would be, like if you see someone, like I saw one guy at Target with no mask. That's like that guy. That guy wants you to say something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's not majority of the people, that's not even 1% of the people, it's 0. whatever percent. But there's enough guys, that's the guys that wear a t-shirt with a saying on it, that want you to say something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw this woman at Target yesterday, I felt like she was putting on a show. She was, uh, she had her two kids and they were asking about toys and she was just like trashing her two kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Junk again. Like making, trying to get like, you know, the couple of the women are like wives and as they walk by they're laughing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, and she just said, and I'm kind of standing over there cause I'm like, I think I'm watching her do a show. Like as someone that tells jokes for a living, this lady's getting some laughs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so she just, I mean, she stood in the one spot and was just getting a new audience every couple minutes. She was at one aisle and you'd walk back, you'd walk in front of her. So, but people are coming left and right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just, and I mean, she just would throw on the jokes and I'm like, this lady's put on a show. And I like kept, Laura's like walking around and I was like, I want to follow her around because I think she's going to go to a different section and put on another show. I couldn't tell if I liked it. Like in my head as a, as a performer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're like, oh, this is, this is the person that would tell me that she could do comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's put on a full on, full on show. And killing. Yeaah, I mean doing pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's also a rattlesnake for sale. You're like, wow, can I see it? It's like, yeah, I mean, it's somewhere in this building.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll give you a deal on it. If you make us find it, it's 500 bucks. I don't know what else that goes for. It feels like 500 would be a decent, decent, you know, cause I can go catch it for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Knowing there's a rattlesnake. If they lost, if they lost the bag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if they lost it, it's lost. They keep it at the airport. Well it's not lost, it's at the store now. Well the word lost, it's lost. Like, but if you're, I think it's gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know what, what is like a camera that they used on the space shuttle?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to, you know, yea, I mean, you definitely can't go back and get that back. You wanna go back and get it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you gotta tell the person, let's just go back and get it. They said they're finding it. They said they called and found it. It's like, I gotta, I gotta tell you something. Uh, I had it live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bought you a live rattlesnake for your birthday. That's what he had to tell that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, oh man, he goes, I know, but they got it. I was holding the bag, wouldn't get lost. I was going to check it over overhead, but then I just didn't know this thing rattles. You know what I mean? You hear it in the bag. I'll say the snake wasn't thrilled to be in the bag. Let me tell you that when I put it in there with my clothes, it didn't feel like this was going to go good. So I thought I better check this back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you're in, if you go on an 88 hour bus trip, I think as a group, you've, you've become friends with multiple groups and you've hated other people. I think you use it as a pod and you're just circling. I mean, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly, it would be like Survivor, the TV show Survivor. If you're on an 88 hour bus ride, I think you would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just be, you'd go through just wild swings, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would just, you know, just points of, I mean our...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 18, you would go sit next to just a stranger and be like, I don't know if I can do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it, are we crazy to be doing this? And she, cause you have 70 more, no 18, you'd have 60 more hours. Yeah. 60. No, right? No 70.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 70 more hours after 18. Can you imagine? After 18 hours on a bus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even think you're trying to. I think it's just. It'll happen. It's gonna happen. It's just pure survival. It'd be like if you were trapped in the wild, like if you were lost, if you're in deserted island and another guy showed up, you would be like, oh my god, I can't believe you're here. You would start, you're talking out of that desperation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think on a bus, I think you're in there. I think some people don't make, they just make noises. I think you're, you know, I mean I, I'd be disappointed if there wasn't a live rattlesnake just in someone's back. I think there's a lot of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're on a, if you're on a bus, I did a bus, the one was that does New York to Boston. It was pretty great. It was super smooth, easy. Some of those buses are unreal now. They, I mean, they, you know, they have wifi there. You're all set up. It wasn't crowded. We got our own row.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think you can get a flight cheaper than that. Yeah. There was flights, uh, in, when we were in Anna, from LAX to Las Vegas for $12.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 12 bucks. Really? Is that not crazy? I don't feel like you are giving it to me. And that's $12. I mean that wa- I mean it's wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Free would make more sense to me. Cause you'd be like, what are they doing? Something? 12 bucks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, yeaah, let's speed through some of these, we're about to be done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just looked at, I was like looking up YouTube stuff and what these guys, MrBeast, I mean, they make, and they're making like $10 million a year. Like these guys and they, and he does, I think it's the guy that someone's described him as being like, it's a guy that, that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually does the clickbait title that he says. So it's like, it's a title that would be a clickbait title and he actually does it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he paid him to drive back. Yeah, so like, that's, that's so, I have a, uh, the only thing with his YouTube stuff, like that kind of guy, I don't mind that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's like coming up with stuff. But like that's the thing that where creativity is like going that like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, as far as like your, your product that you're known for is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And look, you gotta be the guy that wants to do something like that. Hey, we're going to do this and shoot it and put it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, you know, it's like, I don't know, it's like, I don't know, how creative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's like to me, that's the only thing that I have, I have a hard time wrapping my head around. It's cause like, I think what we do as far as like in your stand up is you're making this up out of thin air and you're making


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're, you're, you're creating a show and with everything and this kind of stuff is, you know, it's, it's just like, are you crazy enough to go want to do this? Yeah, that's what it is. And then if you are, then you are going to get paid million dollars. I mean, you know, I mean, Jackass was kind of that, I guess. Right. It's like these guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they would do like dangerous, you know, I guess you're paying, you're paying for their personalities too, I guess, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that had to be a couple thousand dollars per year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are all the people that, uh, not the ones that need it. There's plenty of people that, that you can tell when they need it and it's, it's, it's, it's a serious dog. Everybody else, uh, I never believed it for a second. And they, what's funny is these are the people that take advantage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're the people that don't want you to take advantage of anything, but they're taking advantage. They are mocking the idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's a mockery of just the person that actually does need the dog. I've seen like military guys, they have like a big dog. Like, you know, you're like that dog's there for a reason, right? All that kind of stuff. And then all these other people that have these little dogs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they're just, and then it's like, well, I get anxiety when I fly. You're like, you, everybody does by the way. I've started in class for everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody gets all this stuff. You could take something for that. You have a dog. You want to take your dog for free and you want to make it up and be this scenario. And you're completely lying and taking advantage of people that actually need it. And it's actually disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a mean thing. Yeah, I agree. Now in 2021, they can't. They can't. It's great. Good for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm good, yeah. I love it. I love it. It is infuriating. Uh, some of the, Sebastian Mascalko had the, as the joke where he said someone took a peacock. You have no one in your family?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That just goes, what are you doing? Like, you know, like, that's the, like, that's the best, that, I love that exhibit. Like, no one, you have no one in your life that goes, what? No. You can't take a peacock on a plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy. Uh, all right. Is that it? Is there? Yeah. I mean, I got more, but that's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, we're gonna need a surface animal for this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that's what you're doing with this material. You read the breast stuff right when we're about to leave. Good night. Get it open with that one. A little more funner. Uh, alright everybody. Uh, as always, thank you guys so much for listening. We love you, uh, guys, uh, and, uh, everything. We miss you. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be careful out there. We'll see you next week, right before Christmas and the holidays, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks everybody for listening to the Nate Land Podcast. Be sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes, Spotify, you know, wherever you listen to your podcasts. And please remember to leave us a rating or comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by me, Nate Barghetti, and my wife Laura on the All Things Comedy Network. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Consulting in partnership with Center Street Media.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I was thinking I could eat, but I'm walking my back. I think it might be less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what have you been doing, Brian? Yeah, what are you doing? I already murdered today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't have a heart attack because he was so nervous about bowling, right? I don't know. You've never heard the story?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what they were saying about the wine. You don't know, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the people in that class actually did begin...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. Dude, they should do that. I think they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I wouldn't believe, I wouldn't have told people that. I wouldn't have told people that years from now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I see her walk out in the hallway and like a group of them and they kind of all look at me at once and then look back and I was like, they're just talking trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Pope Greg. That's so funny. I've never heard that. Shortening it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How'd it go, man? It sounds like not a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like a celebrity, they might get paid more, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, no, they don't get paid as much. They don't get paid as much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pete Buttigieg was an adjunct professor at Notre Dame when he was mayor of South Bend. He taught like an urban development class or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're making dangerous assumptions there, Lauren. She's just assuming other places have it too. I mean, that's for commercial use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I want a residential. Residential units. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I've lost confidence in the, in the invention idea since I said it. I'll say that. I've lost confidence in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You know, all those interview moments that have gone viral and are famous among sports fans, like the playoffs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they are who we thought they were. There's like one of those every week in the UFC I feel like. All the time. There's something entertaining and hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was it? No, that's just part of a larger issue, which is that I have no credibility anymore on this podcast. Any prediction I make any statement is just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what my strategy is though? This is my strategy in life. I had a friend in college who,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Play beer pong a lot and he would always call, he'd call every shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I didn't miss most of them, but you remember the ones that you make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And be like, oh, like I called it, you know, that's my strategy. Long term.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I'll do it whenever, man. Yeah. I, I'm not, I literally just keep forgetting until we talk about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I dread phone calls. Yeah. You know, I just dread them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I worked at the country club, I throw chives on everything. That was part of my job as the expo guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just adding some green to the plate does wonders, I think, for plate presentations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where I worked, man, we did it with chives dude. And that was like my main job was just to add chives to stuff. So that's hilarious. I'm surprised you didn't know that it was an onion. No, it's just green. It's little circles that are green, right? Yeah, but it's an onion. I never thought about what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. They're just there in a little bowl and I would just sprinkle them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But have you walked out of a restaurant cause there were chives on your eggs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I worked at a country club in Hendersonville called Bluegrass Country Club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they didn't let me anywhere near the golf course. I worked in the kitchen, mostly as a expo food runner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they, uh, you know, they get a ticket and they prepare the whole plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it was my job to take the plates and put them on a big tray and then bring them out. So I just kept track of what was going where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the expo was also, you did a lot of, uh, little things like add chives to stuff or. Yeah, I've done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Expedite, like get everything ready to be taken out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not super high volume, but it's always funny. What I used to compare it to, the great analogy I heard was like a geese swimming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the, on a pond. Yeaah. You know on the outside it looks very smooth and then you go under the water and it's chaos. Just to walk from like the, the dining room with this country club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back to the kitchen where it's just animals back there. It's just everybody yelling and cursing and everything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. I think my favorite part of that job, I'm just remembering this, my favorite part of the job is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The upper level of bluegrass, you're not allowed to wear shorts. This is a country club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I got to, we got to take turns kicking people out that were wearing shorts. And that was like the most fun you could have. You loved it. It was the most, it was the only moment where you had any power at that place. You know, you're just an idiot with like a black tux on standing there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then some dude would wear and have like flannel shorts on and you have to walk up and tell him to leave. It was so great, dude. I remember this guy had green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you go down to our pro shop, you can get some long pants down there. It was like the one thing we had. So when you saw somebody with shorts, you're like, Oh, it's going to be a good day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, especially cause I was an exp, I wasn't getting tips from these people. If I were a server, I would have been more delicate about it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a 19 year old kid with no money. You get to go tell these guys. Exactly. You get to tell them they have to leave. Feels pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they could go eat at the card room or whatever downstairs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need you and your white calves to get out of here right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does that work? I had, that was my last job before I quit in one full time standup was doing that. I made zero sales in all the time that I worked at this company, but I made hundreds and hundreds of phone calls, cold calls to people. And I couldn't, I never could get good at it. Cause I'm sitting there thinking, if I were this guy, I'd be like so annoyed that this dude's calling me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So I just started to try to be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, hello and I go, Hey, this is, uh, Aaron with this company. Um, I'd love to just talk about like what you got going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy's like, why? I'm like, maybe to, maybe see, you know, I could sell you anything. He's like, no, we're not interested. I just couldn't figure out how to frame it. You know, it's just, it's just, I'm not, some people are good at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To just cold call people? I could never separate myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The company I worked at, they were even like, just say a different name if you want. And just like get in character. And I was like, I can't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, high school kid to move a truck like that? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The 15 person pagan wedding? Yeaah. I'll let you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you feel great for a little bit and then you felt sick? I just remember feeling sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is before TV and stuff, right? Radio ads. I'm kidding. Yeah. Right. How does you, yeah. How does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, just the TV ad is a whole new thing. You can date online now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I built websites as a kid. Yeah. I had a Creed fan website. Oh yeah. And a POD fan website. You know the band POD?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. Payable on death. They had some big songs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here comes the boom. Here comes, oh yeaah, when I was like 9 or 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're still around, yea. They're still doing it. I kinda, my musical tastes have changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I met him once. Yeaah. At Zanies. Oh yeaah. Yeaah. He came to a, uh, Burt Kreischer show. Yeaah. And he came back in the green room and I shook his hand. He goes, Hey, I'm Scott. And I didn't realize at the time that's who it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just go, Hey, I'm Aaron. Nice to meet you. And he left and Burt Kreischer goes, you know, that's Scott Stapp, right? And I was like, you got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like the coolest band I was allowed to listen to as a kid. I still think they're kind of awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like there are comedians where if somebody were like, this is my favorite comedian, you'd be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think they're, they're, people started to think that their music was super repetitive and just sort of formulaic and kind of cheesy, white angst became like the narrative around, you know, I think there was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unfairly kind of got, got a lot of that, that pressure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it became a joke. It's like Dane Cook. It's exactly like Dane Cook. Where you're like, why are you really making all these jokes? I mean, he was good, you can't deny how good they are, how successful they are. It just became a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like a kid building something with blocks that they build it up just so they can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. My uncle does this for a living really Huntsville for the army. Yeah. He leads a team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where they launch campaigns against the military to hack them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they'll just decide as a team, my understanding is they'll just get together and they'll go, let's try to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not going to, I don't know. They'll go, this is a potential weakness. Let's try to hack in and exploit this and they'll do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, where my uncle's team would be the offense of the government, yeaah, the deep, and they would score touchdown every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He loves it. It's like the perfect job for that kind of guy, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you just grow up loving computers, I mean your job is to be a hacker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure they do. Yeah, I'm sure they do to just to let them know about their weaknesses, where the holes are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My older brother was very good growing up. He taught me how to do the websites and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at what cost? You know? Uhm. Having to protect your hands like that all the time? Yeaah. Having to wear gloves? I mean, it depends if, uh. Is this that crazy lady that you found? Who are you talking about? This woman?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, dude, you got, you can't shake people's hands. I mean, I guess you can't do that now. I bet they're living well now during COVID, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do it pretty good. You got a nice look in the hands. How do yours look, Brian?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have, yeah, just for money every now and then I got the service. I subscribe to this, send me emails every now and then looking for males, 18 to 34 who do this or brush their teeth every day or something. I don't know. So you can go in and do those and get money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went through some, uh, dark times in college. I had no money to sell plasma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I went to that pond, a bunch of my stuff. What happened? I just, you're a college kid, you have no money, you just blow it all every weekend like an idiot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, so yeaah, so I do, you know, you can do focus groups like that and make like 50 bucks for like an hour. It's not bad. Plasma was a big deal. Have you sold plasma before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. Yeah, I have no idea. I have no idea what it is. It's the same thing, like the same process though. Oh. Let's go draw blood for me. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. But you'd make like $75 your first time. I think it comes out silver. You can go once every other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you can make 50 bucks every other time you do it. So it's not a bad...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did it in college. Yeah. I was struggling there at the end. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I hope I didn't have gout when I was 21. If I've secretly had gout for eight years, that would be embarrassing. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I have gal dude. I looked it up. I don't think that the, I don't think that's what it is, but I should probably look at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody did, but I, but now it's on me to call and get that scheduled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they're milk, they're collecting venom. Yeah, it's not milk, you know. It's not milk, but I figured it was innards. I don't know if you don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Snake innards for maybe for what everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I've never milked a snake before. I'm sorry I haven't lived a worldly experience like you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never heard of this. So they, they collect vent, what do they use the venom for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never seen that, no. I don't really like the way the inside of the snake's mouth looks. It's not fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you're crazy. I think, I mean, I probably should have been able to tell right away what that meant, milking a snake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you do it like you're taught, you know, like when you're taught how to safety rules and like a lab when you're supposed to smell, so you're supposed to just like put your hand over where the sense and just kind of waft it towards you. That's what you do. You don't put your face in somebody's armpit. Probably. Maybe you do. I don't know what I'm talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta take a lab class in high school or anything like that, like in a science lab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you not seen this? I have. Come on, dude. Have you seen it? Have you lived a life, man? I'm turning off the TV. I've seen chicken sector.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's sad. Is that what I think it is? Somebody doesn't have enough friends?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have y'all been, uh, uh, like in people's weddings before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a weird feeling to reciprocate that on your own wedding? Cause I'm just going through it now, planning my own wedding. And I'm just thinking like, there are people not going to be in my wedding that I was in their wedding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zero. Yeah, that's a lot more than zero. That's for sure. I was in one with 12 once, man. 12 people. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not too worried about it. I'm just thinking about it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not going to make you do a whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, this is too long to top out, so I'm just gonna tell ya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are our fans, Aaron, that you're... laughing at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, an idiot is technically a mentally challenged person that maybe shouldn't be getting married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's on the books anymore because I think people feel like mentally challenged people should be able to get married if they are accused. Alex, are you stupid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only reason I feel like you should do it is to keep her from feeling awkward and scrambling to pick up all this. Say, no, no, no, that was on me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I got this. Yeah, it's just very soft, very comfortable. I'm not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you guys know, I'm not great on the laptop, but it was very easy to order online. Did it have any problem?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought of another, uh, clutch performance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paulo nails two home runs for that little boy in the hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, so that helps. I did it once in college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was a class we took. It was like a broadcasting class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got some, uh, clips of me doing the news in college that I could bring in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, I've been in, in Murfreesboro, like throughout. Yeah. So everybody saw it at home. Yeah. Did your family see it?