[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just got disqualified, so it was just Eric.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's fun that it's just Eric, but you're like, the other ones, you were like, can you imagine if you got to watch like just three regular dudes race at the Olympics? How great that would be. How, you know, just because it's so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's so good and they're so at the peak of their, of athlete just to see, be like, that's us out there. And then just, if you watched the competition of that, just being, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, that's crazy man, that's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they have 1500 meters. You know, that's Katie Ledecky's big one. Like that one. I mean, you couldn't even fit it. Like that's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that, that, that race is like you have to fast forward. It's like a 20 minute race. Oh, is it that long? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I couldn't either. What is fifteen or four hundredths one time? Do you think track and field would be? Twelve, it's a mile. It's like a, uh, 1200 meters is one mile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one just looks at you, you go, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. You sitting there. Beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he ran it, I think he said, cause they've been talking about that. He said he ran it, I think in 422 and he goes, I did it in, uh, with, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeans and something on. Cause, uh, what's his face with the Chiefs wants to race him in the 40. Oh, Tyree Keel? Tyree Keel. But, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Tiger Gale said he could do it, uh, see him, he said he could beat him to 40 yards, but if you watch Usain Bolt, uh, yeaah, so Deion Sanders supposedly ran a 3.9, that would be crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Usain Bolt, when he raced, he was never super fast. So that's why Terry Gill, I guess, could probably beat him in the 40-yard dash. Like he starts, Usain like doesn't start fast. I mean, he's obviously starting very fast, but he starts and then he just like hits another thing and he's gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which he's like trying to call him out now to be like, I'll, I'll take him 40 yards. But it's kind of just like, who cares? Like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like they're at least, it's not like they can just phone it in. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually worked. There's a real process there. There's a real process. What if you're in Greece?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They run it. How do they get it to these other countries? So it's lit in Greece and they fly it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean like would they even be affected? Super has no alcohol tolerance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can still do stuff. That's like, uh, Shaq dunking now, where it's like he's 50 and it's like, and he's still dunking. He's like, I'm on it. I can get up there. Like that's him blowing it out. Superman's like, I can still do some stuff. I know I'm not on all cylinders right here, but don't. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the New York popped in and this is you trying to get, and he obviously crushed it. Uh, so I just, that's like, we had a state break dancing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, is he getting freestyles? Like I can do whatever I want, right? That's what the ink is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm more on this one naked. I'm more on this one no clothes on. That's cool, man. Uh, they did that. I'm watching Chernobyl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great. West Wing, I think I did the first episode and it just hasn't caught me right again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I gotta, I gotta get, you know, I gotta get caught. I'm just not in the- I get it. Uh, so I'm watching Chernobyl and then, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wave one, the 100 foot big wave. And then, uh, but Chernobyl, they, the miners would, they used to go, uh, they had them digging and they did, they did it naked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they go, where's your olive roots? It's over there. Didn't you come in first place? It's already gone. It just died like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Took that long. It's a long time. Just think about like 1500 years from now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And just think they went to the Olympics where they go, I guess the Olympics are over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're like, eventually it just comes back and it's normal and no one even knows that they were never not there. Those people that were in those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1500 years, there's people that were alive that probably didn't even know the Olympics were even a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and it was never within a hundred, never within 700, 800 years of ever even getting a chance to see it. And now I wouldn't even know that they stopped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do these things. Hey, we're doing this. You get it. And he goes, because he had the guy, like the guy gets a letter and he's like, all right, because there's Olympics, I guess it's all countries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was basically- Yeah, he's like, when is it? Tomorrow. I gotta be in Africa tomorrow. Like, when did you send this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, you want me to be in Africa tomorrow? That's what this guy, give me a break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's the part that like, but yeah, how do they get the information to the other countries?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you gotta send the thing, I know, but how do you give it to everybody in the country? How do you get all the countries to come?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt like it made it feel like a bigger deal. Cause it was like, truly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then so it was like wall to wall coverage, where now you're always like, you know, really the only Summer Olympics is the only one that people really even care about. Especially here. You think I'm going to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, but I mean, it's like skiing, like, you know, you watch like the skiing, they have, they have like Lindsey Vonn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Sean White, but Sean White, I think it was like recent, right? Snowboarding wasn't always like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're kind of doing like an X Games kind of thing. Sean White out, yes, I watched Sean White. Uh, yea, figure skating. Tonya Harding, it's here, it was in Norway. Figure skating is big, but that's, do we have a big star in that now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. Well, that's like the 100 meters is such a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's such a, like I watched it last night. Uh, they did the 100 meters last night. And without an Usain Bolt, it's, uh, you know, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's up there. This guy from Italy won. Italian. Italian. And like they, they've never won.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just cause I think it's, they work their whole, for four years, they work to try to get there for 12, for nine seconds, nine point. And dude, the guy that comes in second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I ran like a 9.84 and the guy that won is 9.79. So because of six, three one hundredth of a second or five or whatever, six.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds like the only thing that I would say you can't drink off. Like every other thing you'd be like, if you do one of those alone, I would be okay with it. And then that would be the only one that you're like, but you obviously, this one you can't drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I remember watching it live. It was a big deal. Yeah, that's not pretty exciting. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, I do remember watching it. That's why I was like nine. It's one of the first things I remember, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, still 35 minutes later, he gets back and goes out and lands it and nails it. For those of you listening, we're watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that sounds, they won an Olympic gold medal.


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[Assistant] That'd be great. It'd be great. So you're strong man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could just see it right. Every country just starts. They, uh, the two big fellows walk out together. Ropes are, ropes just laid down in between them. Cause they got it tied around on their waist and then they, then they go stand tight. And then, then the other men come and grab it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That country strength, where it's like that farm strength, where it's stronger than, it's just different. It's a different kind of strength. You feel like Nebraska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you do, I think you're in more tug of war situations than most people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to see you and her go at a powerlifting, well, wrestle, but yea, just a powerlifting contest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder what her, like is it, uh, what were they powerlifting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My ball up there, one of the baseballs I have, I threw a no-hitter in my little league baseball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, my coach was, uh, my coach Turner, and his son's Jeff Turner. And Michael Turner was his brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're from Nashville? They're from Nashville. And so I, but I knew them, like Jeff, we knew about Jeff when he was playing for Orlando.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But his dad coached me in, uh, uh, baseball. That's cool. Coached Jim Turner, I believe. And then his brother Michael Turner played basketball at Murray State. Cause I was a catcher, and I remember when I was, his brother Michael was a year older than me, and so Jeff was already in, was, I think already in the pros.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I remember Michael was like, obviously a great athlete when he played basketball at Murray State and I was catching and I remember he threw hard, so hard one time, it knocked my glove off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just cause I would see that on TV and I always wanted to do it as a catcher. Yeah. Yeah. So I would, I wanted to, I just go time out everybody and I run out and I don't have anything to say to him. I just went out there and he's like, looks at me and I was like, just keep doing those, those strikes, man. And he smiled and goes, okay. And then I ran back and I was like, all right, time back in. Didn't you have like a chiropractor or something who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, a guy I went to, he's in Mount Juliet, uh, he did, uh, Bob, I want to say Bob Sletty. Bob Sletty's with four guys. I think so. Yeah. Uh, and then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, uh, he did, he won, they won the bronze or something. He was a sprinter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, but he, but that was not good enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so what they would do, the bobsledding, they would sometimes get the sprinters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they need the guys that can run fast. So if you were not good enough to make it, I think as a sprinter in the Olympics, they would be like, well, can you, why don't you come do bobsled and then you can run and do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you gotta think, they won the bronze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he might have been, he might have been the, I don't know if he was the first guy or maybe he was the last guy, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're, but you're just running and he, uh, cause I mean, he's, they would compete. This sport is huge and Bob says it's really, I forget what country, but there's, there's some countries where it's like enormous and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, I was like, can you ever hear anybody? And he's like, no. He's like, you just don't. He goes, maybe.


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[Assistant] That's amazing. Is he a big guy? Just very in shape. His wife was a newscaster. Yeah, Channel 5. Yeah, you knew her. She came out


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So maybe not, you wouldn't win on just pure ath- being an athlete, you'd win on just pure, they don't know how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He carries his, he has his bag. He's got one that was like, uh, you know, the bags when you're trying to use plastic at a grocery store, he's got that bag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got just a tote bag that says Houston Oilers on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so young to be, you know, but I imagine, I guess it feels like forever because you're, you know, you're probably 10 years old when you start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that one girl that, uh, one, one girl is from here. Went to Harpeth. Oh, swimmer? Yeah, the swimmer from Nashville. And, uh, they showed her to swim, you know, cause we showed Harper, cause Harper takes swim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, they showed her in the old video. It's crazy too. The video of her is like on their phone probably. That's what's insane. Like it's, you know, our old kid videos are like, you have to, you can't just show them. You'd have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's crazy that they just have videos of just, it's like, look at this girl and oh that video. And it looks, he looks old and you're like, it's not, it looks amazing. Uh, I was thinking of that reason, like you're seeing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who was I thinking about? I was thinking about that watching like people's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just hilarious. I thought he was older than you. That you and him are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me and Shaq are the same age. 49. 49. So we're the same age. Same age. Martha Stewart is 79 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's great. Dr. Dre is 56. So there's a good one. Dr. Dre is 56. He's going to be 60 soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, he's only 56. Like, you gotta think, are we, have we really watched people, uh, I guess, uh, have you really watched people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On TV they're famous and then they die of old age. What are you asking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, have we really even seen that? Like, Snoop Dogg's been on TV. Oh, since TV's been around? Since TV's been where you've been the most around. 80's, 90's. They've been on TV the whole time. You know, you have Andy Griffith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like what we know now is like modern, I'm not saying dying young, like, like a tragic death, but I'm saying truly you're like, I watched this guy live 80 years on television.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I guess it's your, is you gotta think about your, I guess what would be your kind of thing. Cause I guess my, your age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like you probably wouldn't think Snoop Dogg, I don't know. But Snoop Dogg would be probably for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, you know, or something like that, or doctor, like they've been, or whatever, they've just been on TV, they've been, they've just been on TV and around. I mean, Dr. E is 56.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, and you're like, well, I'm watching, then I'm gonna watch this person be, you know, that's like when you see like Peyton Manning retire, where you're like, I remember him in high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember not in high school, I remember him in college. I don't remember him in high school. I remember when I saw Shaq play, and then you're like, Shaq's 49.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're watching people retire and then you're older, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, wow. Yeah, Cindy Crawford.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Brooke's show was a child, like a child actress. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they would be, yeaah, like they're, uh, how old are the Olsen twins?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Baseball movie with the kid that has the fast arm. Oh, rookie of the year? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What is it? Is it Gardner? He's Gardner in the, yeah. Oh, that's his character's name? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe that they let them do it. They let them do it like three times and then they won. And they're like, can you believe it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they, and it was like a big, they lied about it. I mean, it's, uh, it kind of ruined that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But something else happened that, I forget what it was, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think your ticket's over at, uh, yeah, I don't know where. What's the other, uh, not Bridgestone, but the other, the old arena.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. What if the Olympics were in Atlanta? Right? Yep. And then it's cause then they were here. It's always because people drove down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you won't be jammed in with some city trying to do all this stuff and you'll be like, you'll be alone. You'll probably get to stay at a very nice hotel. Yeah, get a Helix mattress instead of cardboard. Get a Helix mattress instead of cardboard. Uh, yeah, the surf and that's surf and stuff cause I'm watching that documentary or whatever on the surf and but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see, they're showing on TV that I watched the other night when we were at that restaurant and it seemed like pretty competitive. And you can't like, the teams didn't even make sense. That one guy was like, one, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One team was like, it looked like a married couple, like both in their late fifties, maybe early sixties. And then they're playing this like young kind of tatted black dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this like girl that kind of looks just goofy, like a white girl that's like kind of goofy looking like, and they won. And it was just like a very like, you were like, what is this? It's kind of beautiful. Yeah, it's beautiful. So cornhole, if they have that, you know, I could see that becoming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like that. But I mean what other, no other team would. I don't care. We would win. We'd be, we'd be playing ourselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, do they not do soccer in, uh, the World Cup is where they do soccer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to do, I remember doing sack race and, uh, you'd do that school three-legged race. You'd put an egg on a spoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd grab the sack off the kid in front of you, like he'd be over his shoulder and grab that sack and it's attached and then y'all hopped to school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, is that it? I think so. Alright, we did it. We did it. I think this, you know. It's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did it all. We will see you next week everybody. Have a great, uh, you know, couple. Let's go folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would like- No, no, I was saying I would like knowing. I would feel weird if they would just pretend that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the worst. This is one of these websites that you just open up and you're like, this is attacking my computer so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's check the source on that. What's the source? What is the source? It is, oh, link to the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Little alarming, we can just have your Wikipedia page edited like this, but I'm all for it. Cause I don't have one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're out here bringing people together, man. Bringing people together. It's kind of beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a loud whistle for a whole Walmart to hear it. Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I wasn't going to have a chance between now and when I'm in LA this week. I see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does it look like super cuts? You have a hat on, so I don't know. Oh well, there's a reason I have a hat on. No, I can't remember the name of the place. I typed, I just, man, typed it men's haircut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for like a big, I don't know. I'll figure it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I think it gets uh, casts a little shadow in my eyes, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be aware it's a, it pop it in a zany, he's doing a spot sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. If there's a practical reason for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where are you at? In the back? You'd have to be in the back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think just for me, it's like just the quality of the comedy. There's some, just, I had some terrible jokes not long ago. Still have some I'm trying to get rid of. I think everybody knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Yeah. You don't like the camaraderie of, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a chance. Yeah. And even if you know it, you don't see that in your head when you say hors d'oeuvres. You know, nobody does. Hors. You about to say Brian?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alan Meeks. Alan Meeks down here at the earth. That's what they say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, not about what was happening in the world. I remember stuff in my life from the 90s. You don't remember any events or anything? I was born in 91. Phew. That's when you graduated high school? 90 actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember the home run race of 98. I remember watching that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Play against Michael Jordan in the all star game when Kobe was a rookie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember knowing who Michael Jordan was, but not, not being old enough to be aware of the significance of all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw more of, I saw his whole career and I caught the tail end of Michael Jordan. And he's, I know him from Space Jam mostly, just in my childhood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the move was highly controversial. The conventional wisdom at the time was that high schoolers were neither emotionally nor physically mature enough for the rigors of the NBA game. But.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Garnet was selected with the number five pick in the first round by the Timberwolves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's crazy. Cause I remember when they went back to, you have to play one year in college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looked, he looked 48 when he was in college. He looked like a biblical character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now the Olympics. Did he really? Yeah. I saw the DeChambeau that happened to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So did you have an NFL team that you cared about here before the Oilers moved or were you just big cats?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I vaguely remember playing on that team. I was seven in those pictures. So this was 99. So I was seven about to turn eight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, good times. Those are my 90s memories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't know, the Cleveland Indians changed their name officially to the Cleveland Guardians starting next season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's different. I don't like that. I don't like the name being a concept.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like heat or fury or wild sounds. Give me, I need some sounds. Yeah, I don't like that either. You don't like the sounds? Give me something concrete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like we lean into the music thing quite a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I imagine every scene is like those deaths where the little thing flips out right in front of you and you just have a full meet and greet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Huskies. That's what the Huskies is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bat cages, they have the Louisville bats already. So it's not far off. So they kind of nailed it because they named themselves what other people would name them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So saying reds is nice. They were the red stockings I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Hard Rock Cafe. Okay. But like. But instead of music, it's just movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It closed, the one in Nashville closed in 2001. So it was a pretty, pretty short ride, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Has financial problems. Couldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it might be the best location of any place. Yeah. Right there on the corner. You see the river.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it's so funny, that's why you choose a team as a kid and then it just lasts into adulthood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Cause you liked the colors when you were a kid. I totally get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, also, did you care who OJ Simpson was at that age? Probably not, right? I mean, cause he was way before your time. Brian, you grew up watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, that's old. You play with like the one bar on the helmet. That kid looks so old when you watch the clips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta say petroleum, just to avoid. Yeah, I would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bigger than like the Casey Anthony trial was. I think so. Yeah, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to think of another trial that kind of dominated the news headlines for awhile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know Greta van Cessner from Fox news. What was she doing during?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would have to do that now for it to be as big of a story. Like if you could give a modern comparison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To somebody who's not only famous and successful and was good at what they did, but also beloved in the way. Peyton Manning you think is, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Peyton's beloved by people and it would definitely shock us if Peyton murdered his wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like Charles Barkley is so, everything he does, I think he's so funny that it would have a totally different tone. Do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the top of the world. You're making great points. I retract it.


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[Assistant] I guess so, other than like the, the way more like the George Zimmerman and that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did Tonya Harden end up competing that same year in the Olympics? So she was, everyone, she was being accused of this and then ended up and went out there and competed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I thought she had a rehab and then she came back the next time and almost won.


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[Assistant] It's kind of hard to cue somebody headbutted and you bite their ear. That's why he did it. Yeah.


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[Assistant] That is crazy. I missed that one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so she got stabbed in 93 and then she came back and started playing professionally in 95.


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[Assistant] They were the first. That's surprising.


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[Assistant] You use it for professional? No.


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[Assistant] Altavista, man, that was the search in the 90's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of. I, I was at a sub pop store at the, at...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The airport in seattle and all the new indie bands. They had cassettes there for sale. Did you ever have that was interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Mr. Rogers used to say that number a bunch, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well speaking of Amazon, did you know I was at the mall in Albany, New York this weekend. They had an Amazon Prime store in the mall. Have you seen those places?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like you get in and you show that your name is on Prime ever and everything's cheap. Oh yeah. It's great. I had never seen those places before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like a mixture of every kind of thing. A lot of Amazon devices and stuff. Yeah, like one of those kinds of stores. But it's all right there and it's all cheap if you just show them that you're a member. Honestly, you're going to take over the physical mall too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, look at this run that Tom Hanks went on in the nineties. Okay. From 92 to 99. These, these, these are in order, a league of their own, Sleepless in Seattle, Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Apollo 13, Toy Story.


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[Assistant] That thing you do, Saving Private Ryan, you've got mail, Toy Story 2, The Green Mile.


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[Assistant] Yeah. He's still, look, he's still making money in the two thousands, but there's Toy Story three and four and saving Mr. Banks. He's always there. Yeah. Pretty wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my, I think it's the best movie ever made. Just when you get some time, watch it. You'll enjoy it. You'll love it. It's so good, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an unbelievable movie, but there's a car accident in it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I didn't like the movies at all. So they remake it well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, the movies were not very good. I mean, they're objectively not very good. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me back up about a minute and restate. I personally didn't like them, but I know a lot of people did and I respect their opinions.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Watch my stories. Yeah. Yeah. Well, um, I feel like maybe it's just a function of who I hang out with, but does anybody talk about ER still or care about it in the way that they do Seinfeld?


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[Assistant] A couple scenes of that show that will make you cry. How come you don't want me?


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[Assistant] Man, what a great decade. All around. Got some great true crime. Originality.


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[Assistant] No, I didn't, I didn't, I know it's not in the zeitgeist. I'm just saying it's not talked about. It's not referenced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe when I was super, super young and then it became a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've talked about this before, but like what did I think Barney was watching that show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was a real, a real dinosaur singing to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I mean, but I see kids see mascots and I just don't, I don't know what they think they're looking at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're obviously not aware that it's, you know, a guy in a mascot costume.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're not freaking out that I don't think it's a real dinosaur.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little weird, right? It's a little weird. I mean, I did the same thing. I wasn't sitting there thinking about Barney that much, but now I watch kids watch it and I don't, I don't get it.


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[Assistant] He's not Garth Brooks level. I mean, he's definitely, he's transcended his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's transcended his own success for sure.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I only know that one song, April Yard and then the Lil Nas X song and then yeah, stuff with Hannah Montana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I tried to digital about that once. I couldn't believe that they started in like 76.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. Okay. They're just like action figures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spatula. Spatula was the number one. I had a spatula for a while and then hot wheels and stuff. Yea. I had toys too.


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[Assistant] I remember this kid, this poor kid showed up to PE one day with Jordans, but they're fake Jordans. The, the, the, the silhouette of Jordan had, you could see laces on the shoes. This kid got trashed so bad for wearing fake Jordans, man. I don't think you ever wore them again, but he tried to sneak them by.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never, it was never Pokemon. Jumping trains. Never any anime, anything like that.


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[Assistant] No, I mean, I know about it, but I don't remember it happening at the time. I don't think I knew who Tupac was till way later. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it bigger than princess dies? No.


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[Assistant] Yeah, for context, the, the, the next person is 96, Greg Norman in 97. Yeah. So it goes from 260.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. If people forget about that, he broke the record again the next year. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, that's wild.


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[Assistant] Yeah, got to go to Hinesfield. Park a lot of Hinesfield. I think that's why they won. I blessed the stadium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you need like a docking station, you know, we're talking about that. They were also saying that people that were a little overweight would break them, and I was like, maybe walking is the option, if you're breaking a scooter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the bird, one of the bird screws or something. They had to reinforce them because people were too heavy for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think in the beginning you just need somebody to believe in you when you're not that funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, he had to adapt to his energy, you know, working in a room like a comedy club. And I think that was the, you know, the fight was always trying to like, you're going to do you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is the audience gonna come aboard? You know, are they gonna come to you or are you gonna have to like do this animated version of yourself?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And eventually you figured out how to do that. And so watching that was really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was funny, I also, uh, I was affiliated with a club in, uh, Utah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clean Club and it was called Fat Dumb and Happies and that was the funniest thing was bringing all the New York comedians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they're just drinking Mountain Dew and eating Skittles and then like, and then like Gino, guys that are just esconte, you know, guys that are just normally really edgy. And then they had to kind of reel it back. And that was, it was interesting to watch that and Pete Holmes was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was his first headlining thing was, was that through me and stuff. And you know, he was kind of more made for it, but a lot of us, you know, it was, it was a struggle to figure that out. Yeah. To be that clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this has been good working with you. It's like, I know that I have to kind of go in that realm and it's, it makes you a better comic because you're just, you know, you're more broad. You have to do two different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, that's the challenge of standup, that's why we do this. That's why we put up with all the stuff we put up with, cause of the challenge. If it was easy, it'd be boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well a lot of people use stand up, like a lot of actors use it to get more acting stuff as opposed to becoming a better comic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you see that, that's kind of the trend now where a lot of actors are doing stand up because maybe the acting role is dried up or something. That kind of drives me crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they headline clubs and they've been doing it a year and a half. And you're just like, what? You know, and they can't even handle crowd work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what's changed a little bit because I think people are more into stand up now as kind of an art form as before because I feel like they take it, you know, they're, they know the comics, they know who's funny and who's more of a craftsman than before. Yes. You know, instead of just this person's famous, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's, I mean, a lot of people complain about, you know, clubs being hard to get into and all that, that I think now some clubs is a little easier to get into. And that's, that's what hurts stand up. Like you're supposed to be frustrated with a club and then eventually pass. Cause you've, cause then you've done all that work to get past. And I feel like that's what's changed a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's all about your fan base too. I think that's, that's what's happening now and that'll probably continue in the future, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think you'll do comedy in your 80s? I think you'll be one of those guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. That shows, that shows really funny. Yeaah, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, George Carlin's stride was in his sixties. That's his best work. It was like late sixties. So, you never know. I like that, where it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though he's done all these big things. He wants to hang out. Yeah, he just wants to be a comic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, hey, good set, fist pump, you know, just a regular dude. And then he's, you know, and he gets up and he's got a funny, his stuff was really funny. Structured very old school, which I love just kind of set up punch and all that. It was great. I mean, he was the killer back then. I mean, he's so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, I mean, yeah, $300. But they were into it, you know, as much as they could be. But it's like such a weird thing because you don't know anybody, so you can't really roast, you can't really play, like it was just weird that they had con. It was two of us, me and Pete Dominic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you get a DJ. Play the radio. Play anything. Anything but a comp. But we need the money, so we're like, I'll do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the exit is big. I mean, that's like the hardest part. When you bomb, I think, we talked about what Big Jay did, the thing where he took his shirt off and then you gotta put your shirt back on with silence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, things, things where you're sick of big to do and then it doesn't work.


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[Assistant] Like, four comics go up, they'll have an intermission, somebody can go get their drinks, and then they'll have the headliner come up. And I had a headache.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I asked somebody from the festival, I was like, Hey, you got an Asperger or something? And she gave me something that was like coding and I couldn't even speak when I went back up. So I was just like, you know, my mouth was numb. I was like drooling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a movie, you know. It's like a movie, yea. It's a movie, go see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the key of that whole movie. Yeah. The key point to the whole movie, the blue and the red. Are you talking about the Matrix?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's what skydiving did for me. I did, when I did it for the very first time, it made me see how small everything was. You know what I mean? It was just so amazing to just, you know, just float down over the earth like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what they told us. The smokeless fire pit just in the sky.


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[Assistant] Before she snuck into the bear's house. That's true. Broken. Yeah. Breaking and entering.


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[Assistant] It is. She's Goldilocks, but she has locks. I think it's her nickname.


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[Assistant] I feel like they keep going back and forth on Mars. Like we can live there, we can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ray R. Hubbard. Yea, something like that. It was basically built off of a science fiction novel. And then the whole religion is based off of that. All their, uhm, I don't know that much about it. So I tried to watch that movie. They did the John Travolta movie, which was about the whole thing. You know what I'm talking about? Battle...Saturday Night Fever. Battlefield. Beyond Battlefield or something. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the John Travolta movie? Good evening. Besides Battlefield Earth? Battlefield Earth, that's it. That's with M. Night Shyamalan. No. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Time travel, uh. Are you for it? Yeah, absolutely. I've always hoped that things are real, you know what I mean? Which you would not be for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think anything new, you know, is always from something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you gotta renew. I gotta renew the membership. You gonna use mine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's like Sturgill Simpson has like a wailing ginning sound. Like everything kind of, you know, resurfaces to something else that's newer but older, you know. But he puts a cool spin on it so it keeps it fresh and you know, it's like that's how everything works. Yeah, well it's like stuff has really been


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now it's like anybody can listen. There's only so many chords. There's only so much you could do really, I think with music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, that's Nate's star meter. So what is his? 27?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, it's my website, dustinshaven.com. I have a show on Twitch. Uh, just check me out at dustinshaven on Instagram and all this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oprah London bridge, by the way, is a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was talking to Nate last night, we were talking about the podcast, and he's like, you know, like, I'm the guy that people say doesn't know how to read, and you're the old guy, and Aaron's the fat guy, and I was like, wait a second, you're the one saying that about us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it kind of sounded like Michael Scott when he went to that seminar where he, uh, the other, the other, uh, branches where he, how he remembers people's names. Yeah, yeah. Noel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the time of year when the fantasy football losers show up to do open play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a buddy that did something similar where you drink like a certain amount of beers, and then you have to run a mile, but you're kind of buzzed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought about this other day. I'll be 50 later this year. Average life expectancies around mid to late seventies. Well, I'm almost two thirds of the way done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, to be middle, truly middle-aged means I'd have to live to be 98.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of old people were like, I'm ready to go. He wasn't. He was like, I do not want to die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still working. Yeah. He said that on podcasts and he was like, no, I don't want to go. And wow. He was very honest about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's ridiculous. Cause think about if you back it up 500 years, a thousand to year 2000, you'd be furious if everyone just lumped you in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we're at the technology age or something like that. There's all kinds of different ages. So it comes in between, the middle ages came in between the fall of the Roman Empire and the Renaissance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the middle ages is also called the medieval period, same thing if you're medieval or the dark ages. It's often called the dark ages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because, uh, the Romans, after the Roman Empire fell, they were like very cultural and they kept great records and they were on top of stuff. And then after that, everything kind of went into chaos. It's just known as a time there wasn't a lot of scientific advancement, not a lot of charts, not a lot of graphs. You'd love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and there's, there's different, there's like early middle ages, late middle ages. Generally speaking, middle ages, the Romans kept great records. They were great with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stuff and then the dark ages, there's just a lot of wars, just a lot of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just not the best of times, plagues, stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But again, there wasn't a ton of people dying at 35. It's just that so many people die in childbirth. That's the average.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you get as an adult, I think you live to like 60 or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the Roman Empire basically ruled, now we're talking about, America's not even a thing yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless you're a Native American. So we're basically talking about Europe and the Roman Empire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically ruled most of the normal world, most of Europe, other places. Then it starts falling apart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they lose their power and it's kind of getting chaotic. And then the Catholic church becomes the most powerful entity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I looked that up because they made everyone tithe 10%. Everybody had to tie 10% to church and the church wasn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they got all their wealth during this period. But I was trying to figure out what made them do it. Did they have an army or what? It seemed like they just guilted people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the water was just guilting. Do you want to go to heaven or not? You better give.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the Catholic Church kind of called the shots during this period.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's an episode of Seinfeld where they're trying to do the roommate switch and George says, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, accomplish the roommate switch. In the middle ages, you could get locked up for even suggesting that. And Cherry says, they want roommates in the middle ages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He'd make the money off the crops in return, they get to live there. And that was kind of the, that's what almost everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. So this was like any movie, you guys didn't watch Game of Thrones, which is a fictional world, but kings, queens, knights, jesters. Dragons. No dragons, but. Maybe. Well, maybe. Yeaah. Yeaah. I wasn't there. I can't prove I wasn't. Could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they weren't like, they were actually held in high esteem to some degree. They weren't just licensed fools.


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[Assistant] The king liked them. They can make jokes about the king that no one else could make and get away with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, warmed up the crowd. They wore the bright outfits like you imagine with the crazy hat, stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had executioners for sure, and if they didn't get your head off, a lot of hangings, a lot of public hangings going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The court jester also gave people bad news, like the king, they often had to give the king the bad news, cause like, you break it to him, and do it in a funny way. So there's examples.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Francis complete naval fleet got completely destroyed by the English. And the jester had to go tell the Francis king that their navy was completely destroyed, all their ships destroyed. So he said, he told the king,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those English don't even have the guts to jump into the water like our guys do. That was his joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was an example of a young, I mean, sometimes babies were born as kings and there was a young teenage king and he never read any of the royal decree. He signed papers, didn't even know what he was signing the documents. So the jester wrote a royal decree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The jester wrote a royal decree that made himself ruler of all of Scotland for 15 days and the king signed it without looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this was a teenager. After this, the king never again signed a document without. It was a baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let me tell ya, he was a medieval flatulist who lived in England.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Roland the Farter was a medieval flatulist, lived in England. He was given 30 acres of land in return for his service as jester for King Henry II. Each year he was obliged to reform one jump


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One whistle and one fart for the King's Christmas party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they had money. I don't, I don't know how much should he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was 12th century English, so 11th, this is the year 1100. To fart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope those people are watching when they- I mean that's pretty fast. What if you're in the bathroom and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's entertainment. Of rolling the farter. You just want to see what the guy looks like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That says he was giving hemmingbone, hemmingstone manner. So he was given a, a manner. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another big thing in the King's Court was dwarfs, court dwarfs. And so, uh, jesters were only part-time employees. Court dwarfs were like permanent in the King's Court. There was, uh, the personal dwarf and the chamber dwarf and the court dwarf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the king liked him sitting next to him because it made the king look much larger and it made his position look more powerful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they, uhm, so dwarfs live lives of privilege in that time. They got good money, benefits, it says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A favorite dwarf of Peter the Great received a state funeral including miniature horses and a small priest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, archery became a big thing in that time just for protection because during wars and stuff like that. So the king made, uh, in England at least a requirement. Every Sunday men had to practice archery. Every Sunday just to become good archers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is when they launch from long distances and it just comes down and hits you from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone was playing golf on Sundays. He actually out rolled golf and football, soccer, uh, during that time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, that was King James II. King James IV lifted the ban about 50 years later because he became a golfer himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he got addicted to it and he had the first set of special make clubs made by, um, a bow maker made him a set of clubs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think so. The first, so St. Andrews is the oldest course and that opened in 1574. That's a Lynx course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uhm, so also during the middle ages, Islam started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Muhammad lived during the middle ages. He started Islam in Mecca, became a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was basically wars that went on for years and years and years between Christians and Muslims because the Catholic Church wanted to take back the Holy Lands. And so... Well, I'm glad they figured that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Knights Templar was a group of devout Christians that fought to allow people to visit the holy lands, um, travelers, and they became fierce fighters during the crusades. Some people say they went underground 700 years ago and still exist today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me give you some people from the middle ages. Uh, two out of these five aren't real. See if you guys can guess which ones aren't real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's real. Okay. Joan of Arc, King Arthur, Robin Hood, William Wallace, that's who.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mel Gibson played in Braveheart and Marco Polo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's not real? Two of those five probably aren't real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they are based maybe on some, some real people, but they're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mentioned going to the dentist, uhm, how that was. Most people couldn't afford a doctor or a dentist, so they went to the barber. And that's how they got treated by the barber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he went to all of it. So the barber pole, the red and white barber pole, that came from red and red blood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean the other thing, it was leeches. For the same reason. To get the blood out. They put leeches on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the barber pole is what you gripped, uhm, when they're drawing the blood out of you just to hold onto because of the pain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's how they knew if this barber also did dentists and medical stuff, he had a barber pole out front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, most people probably don't know what they symbolize. Well, I think there's blue in them now. There is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the other thing, if you weren't doing bloodletting and leeches or couldn't go to a barber for your medical treatment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine if he did all that to you though and he was like, anything else? Well, I'm here. We'll touch up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He also does your hair. He watches the blood off and he gives you a trim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So another big medical thing people would do is just beat themselves. They'd just whip themselves or have a friend whip them. They're called flagellants, not flatulence, but flagellants, I think it's how they're pronounced. And they basically thought


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they thought if they had any type of disease or sickness that God was punishing them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they would whip themselves to try to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, the Black Death, the bubonic plague, was the worst pandemic in history. Well, they haven't seen COVID.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This lasted for about three years. It killed 20 million people in Europe. 30% of the continent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 12 ships sailed into the Black Sea in Italy when they arrived. They were almost all dead, the soldiers. They were oozing blood and pus. And they all died eventually. And a lot of people would just go to bed at night feeling healthy and be dead by morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to Wikipedia. Yeah. What was it? It was like, the bubonic plague. Someone's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just let some blood out. It killed cows, pigs, goats, chickens, and sheep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So flagellates became a big thing by going around whipping themselves to try to get healthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, uh, scientists believe the plague started through the bite of an infected flea or rat, both which were common in the middle ages, especially on ships. They would eat rats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either a flea or a rat, they think. Just like the bat they think for Covid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't think they would think about quarantine. I mean, I'm sure you just think I'm going to stay in my house and keep away from everybody. I don't think you're thinking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of sayings came from the middle ages that we say today that, well maybe you don't, but a lot of people do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But basically bakers were accused of selling underweight loaves, so legislation was put in place to make sure they didn't. So to make sure they didn't sell underweight, they would start giving an extra piece of bread away with every loaf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Peasants used to collect eggs from chickens and they would leave one egg in there to, it would encourage the chickens to continue laying eggs in the same nest. So now it's, uh, now it's thought of as like something you keep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nest egg? Yeah, little extra money on the side, but it was done to keep an egg in there to keep the hens from, keep the hens laying eggs in that same area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a medieval practice of judging whether a person was innocent or guilty by casting him or her into a lake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they would like tie you, like you couldn't just try to swim. They tie you up and throw you in. And if you floated, then you're guilty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, maybe you're just your arms, not weighted down, but, but you can't, I don't think swimming was allowed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a lot of people being called witches during the Black Death, by the way. A lot of people thought that they were causing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, pay through the nose. Vikings did this. If someone did not pay, they suffered punishment by having their nose slit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably so. Don't kill the messenger. I think you guys can probably figure that one out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being killed after they broke the king bad news. So finally laws were enacted to protect messengers for such events.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bouncers. Bouncers came from the middle ages. Oh wow. They used to make you give a coin before you walked into a tavern. Coin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Sorry, what did I say? Cone, cone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I say it like that too. Will and will people are still confused about what we're talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A coin you had to give at the front of the door and the guy at the door would bounce it to see if it was real or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if it didn't bounce, that means it was a fake coin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During the noble times, nobles were given a taller breed of horse to ride to signify their status and authority.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Often commoners would tell each other to get off their high horse when one was acting like a nobleman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this phrase comes from the 12th century practice of dipping a thief's hand in berry dye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The dye would soak into the skin and stain the hand for several weeks and so serve as an act of public humiliation of being convicted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Xerox. That was actually a person, it was a scribe who copied a bunch of history into different languages. Uhm, so the company was named after him because they're a copy company. Uhm, I'll do one more here. Uh, Nate's saying it forward like, God, wrap this up. Please.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll give one more. Give someone the cold shoulder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the middle ages, lords and nobles were often faced with the common problem of getting rid of unwanted or obnoxious guests at feasts and gatherings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so they would serve the guests a cold shoulder of meat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The toughest and most undesirable portion of a roast. This was a symbol in giving the guests enough of a hint that he or she have overstayed their welcome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the pupil of the eye was known as the apple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Valentine's Day started during the Middle Ages, at least the Romantic Valentine's Day that we know of. St. Valentine was St. much earlier, but Jeffrey Chaucer, the medieval poet, invented the holiday around 1375. He wrote a poem celebrating St. Valentine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a guy in prison, Charles Duke of Orleans wrote a letter to his wife and called her his Valentine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, February 14th is known as a day when birds and humans both go in search of mates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The renaissance came after the middle ages. That's when things started taking off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the music I choose to play in my car. So as you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good progression. I haven't listened to your radio. Oh, enough. Enough. That's what I was saying. Enough. That was a joke. I'm a comedian. So you gotta stay with me here. That's true. I'm not quick enough. You're not. But it's, you know, I gotta check, uh, you know, I gotta check out your radio station as well. I don't really know. So you're talking about like when you, when you pull on Dan and Shay radio that plays other music that is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder how much people like in their mind, the people who are played next, they judge you based on what that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you hear a bad song, you're just like, I hate Dan and Shay, it's not even us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all, I'd just like to say, you know, I'm a pretty philosophical guy. Oh man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I almost got philosophical in there. You didn't do differentiate very well, so I can say philosophical wrong. That's a hard one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was a pretty famous wrestler actually back in the day. I didn't, I didn't think it ever come back, but we don't need to talk about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, got it. I was going to say this doesn't, uh, she's either a huge Justin Bieber fan, or that's her name. Her name could be just Amanda.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can stop right there. I teach medieval literature. It's an incredible insight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're changing minds over here. You're changing lives. You know a lot about middle age. So it's, that was a joke. That was a good one. I nailed that. I got it. I got it. That should be the name of your podcast. It's called Middle Ages. Middle Ages. It's just you guys. I know. Well, he's passed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you got a real problem with this, Chris. Unbelievable, dude. Yeah. Huge fan, been supporting you for years and this is how you treat me. Is he behind there? Who are you talking to? I'm not really sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 100%. I mean, we got to places that we would never would have. Like that song had like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, hundreds of millions of plays in like China and, you know, all over Asia, places that we'd never...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I just, uh, yeah, an email email. Hey, listen, my name's Shay. We've known him for a second. I think we met him probably back in 2014 or 15 or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just made sense. It was like good timing. So it was like, we're at the point where it also benefits him. So he got his first, you know, country hit and got his first, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, got his first sit on country radio, which is a cool thing. He's done everything. Anyone a Grammy? Anyone a Grammy. Yeah, it's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. It's called Community is the app and it's really cool. We actually go on there and actually text people and make videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure, uh, it's just in the left side of it. Yeaah? Yeaah. Just down there. That's how much y'all know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's called Natural Dam, and there's, there's 511 people, like as the population.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not from there. As far as Arkansas, my area, I was definitely the only.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he left, so that's a pretty good start. But no, it's close to Fort Smith, it's probably like 45 minutes away from Fort Smith, which is a bigger town, they're probably...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At that time, I think there were 75,000, but it's probably much bigger now it's crown, but uh, it's kind of in between Fort Smith and Fayetteville, which is a big, Fayetteville Rogers, Walmart land. It's uh, yeah, that's exploded up there. So yeah, but it's, I mean, it's literally the middle of nowhere, just like out in Arkansas. So yeah, my parents are out there and it's pretty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My uncle told me a story one time that he, he was like five, nine until, and this is a true story. He was actually, he was five, nine until when he graduated high school and now he's six, two. He grew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want to look, whoa, whoa, what happened? Like all my family is tiny, but my, my wife, her dad and her aunt are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very tall, like giants, like her, I don't want to say it like that, like they're giants, but her aunt is like six, eight. Wow. Like very, very tall. And her son is like seven foot. Man. So like there's a lot of height, her dad's like six something. Wow, she did it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And her mom is very small and the whole, her whole side of her family, which is the loves, which is like their last name was love. Very good last name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're all tiny, so we'll see which way Asher names go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I'm kinda like, I want them somewhere in the middle. When they start to pass it, you're like, look, do you think you're just better than, than they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he's from Hope, Arkansas, I think. Possibly, is that right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only reason I know that is because there was, I used to do this choir thing for a couple years. It was like a church choir. We'd go around and there was, uh, we played in Hope, Arkansas and there was a girl on our choir tour named Hope and she was from Hope, Arkansas. And so I knew that, that old Billy was from there. We call him Billy. He's a good guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea. You grew up, I mean y'all had... Full on, like my, I feel like, yea, I feel like I don't, people probably don't know that, they're probably like, he's probably from Seattle or something, you know? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was like our thing, like I'd wake up at like, you know, 5.30 and milk cows was like my, that was my main job. Before school. Before school. Yeah. And so I'd go and we had to drive an hour to school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it was like, cause the school, I don't know, like people, people from Cedarville probably listen to this. It's way better school now, but at the time it wasn't, it wasn't great. It wasn't a great school to go to. And you were an hour away. I don't know if they were like accredited as a school. Was it a school? Like kind of. People go there. You know, there's kids that go there. It's like a daycare. You were getting more schooling probably on the farm. 100%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I actually homeschooled for like the first five years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I beg, my sisters went to school, like they started going to this other school in Fort Smith, Arkansas, and I was just like, I was home alone by myself. I was like, as if it wasn't isolating enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, I did. Did you? 100% yeah. I rode horses growing up, but I had a pretty bad horse experience. Like there was this huge hill by our house and I was, uh, I was just getting into like riding horses. Like I'd gotten a horse. And I think his name was, I can't remember what it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, uh, we had Bolt, which is just a sign right there. It's like, he was so fast and angry that they like, I think they even told us whenever they sold it to us, they're like, he's pretty quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like in a way where it's just like, he's got, he's got issues. He likes to run real fast. And I think he was like a racing horse for a while and then he retired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think his, one of his shoes was like, uh, messed up. Yeah. And it was, uh, it was slippin'. And so like, we'd go down this hill and I was like sprinting and he's sliding. And so like, he's running down this like, it's a, you know, paved road. And so he's slipping and I'm going what feels like 180 miles an hour, just terrified out of my mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then yea, actually I didn't ride horses for a while. This was a couple years ago. This was last week. I think I was probably 8 or 9. I was pretty young. So that kind of traumatized me. Then I got kicked off of a horse one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, let's, let's get on this horse that's barely trained and try to get on his bare back. So I got on there and uh, yeah, he kicked us off and, and then kicked us onto the bucket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could have died. So, near death experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you're just- That was, that was the best time probably. Not the best time of my life, but one of the things that I cherish, being able to like walk outside, like, I feel like that's a generational thing too though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've just, we're in a different world now where you can't do like, I would never send my kids out. I'd be like, be back by dark. Like you would never see them again. Like, all right, go wherever you want to go. Like there's no way I'd do that now. But then it was just like, we would come back at nine PM and we would be fine. I could go camping. We would be out all night in the woods. My mom was like, they're probably camping. It wouldn't, it wouldn't go look for us. Like, like he's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, my mom was new though. She was close to Jesus. She always knew. Yea, we're fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, yeah, we do it there. Like my sister, they still live out in the middle of nowhere and it's, it's nice. Like when we go visit, oh, we're able to just be like, yeah, you guys go play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I do know that's uh, that's Ricky's spot. My dad's name is Ricky. Rick. Do you know that one? I do know it. It's right across the street from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah. So Grandview Assembly of God Church was where I, my dad built that church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the gym there. And there's actually the original Grand View Assembly where I grew up going is right across from Heroes Arena. Uhm, and it was, uh, you can see it. There's my friend Logan's house right there off the peaceful home road here. You guys go check him out. He's got it right here. It's fun. So yea, our friends built Heroes Arena. It's a rodeo arena. Ah, that's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's uh, so yeah, if you go down natural dam road right here, you see natural dam, kind of go to the left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you go left, that's the natural dam. That's where I grew up swimming and yeaah. There's all kinds of stuff in their bodies. You can find just about anything in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have a ramp. They go there. They have to ride the train. Seven hour trip. Is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't be down river people, I don't think. We'll think about all the things that go down the river. Like those people are drinking out of that water. The people that are upstream, what do you think they're doing in that river? Probably, you know, not, they're probably putting some things on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of, that's a crazy, I'm pretty sure that for a while it was like illegal to spit on the sidewalk in Little Rock. Like you'd get jailed for it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that those things came from like small quarrels of like, there was just like a guy, like a lawmaker, and then there was just this guy named Jim, he kept doing, drinking out his bucket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's everywhere. It's not like New Dip, where you're spitting into a small space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cause you got till one. That's why they had the uh, they had bells on cows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. That's pretty good. I would have believed that. Because the cow, you know, they trained the cattle or it was like, ah, it's just about one. He was just like, and they'd wiggle it and it was like, so that's why they do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we had milk cows, obviously I said, it wasn't, we didn't have like a dairy farm where we had like machines. It was like, you had kids. The machines are the shade. It was our children. It was me. And so I went down there and I could literally, I could do a gallon. I don't know if I could do it now. At that time I played drums. It was like my first instrument.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No joke, I had my wrists were like freaking unbelievably strong. I mean, it was incredible. I could milk a gallon in probably


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yes. I mean, it was literally, she would produce milk so intensely that you would just, you'd barely have to have to milk her. I feel like we should move on because it's getting weird. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we did have, I will tell you this story about to keep her from, because you basically, you can get diseases if you, if you, if it's not, if the, if the cows aren't milked, they get


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like diseases. So we had, like we had lost a cow. She had had a baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, like, they lost the baby, and so she had produced all this milk and couldn't, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you have to get it out there. I can't remember what it's called. It's mastitis I think is what it's called as you get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can, it can kill a cow. So we had to have it milked like every once in a while. And when we had this goat that was, uh, that was given to us, like someone was like, I got this goat and we had it. Almost like they knew you. You're like, you're going to take it. We were, we were that too. Like we had stray dogs. We were all, they would, people would dump their animals and we were like, we were hoping that this would happen. So we would, we had all these animals and then we had this goat named Lucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he thought he was a cow because he would, he would actually nurse the cow. And that was how we, we kept her healthy and safe is that he needed milk and to be fed. So we had a goat named Lucky and he had a big horseshoe. He was black and white, had a white horseshoe on his side and you could yell at him and you'd say, Hey, Lucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he would scream back at you from the house. Yeah. And it was really great. Yeah. We had 60 guys. Why did he have a horseshoe on him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well, we did. We went to Brahms. I don't know if you guys had Brahms right now. Brahms was like the, that was kind of a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a chain, but it was like a local-ish. It was a bigger, it was a biggly wiggly-esque. Yeaah. Yeaah, but they had like ice creams, great spot. Still there, I think. And, but my mom would always sneak it. Like, cause she wanted us to drink like unpasteurized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Milk, cause it was like, it's healthier for you, for sure, without all the stuff in it. So like, she would sneak it into the Brahms, like she would get empty, she would pour out the Brahms milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so we used to call it that. We would call it, we'd ask her every time, like, is this, is this, is this Brahms milk or real milk? Then we'd ask her every time. She was like, what? I don't know what you're talking about. I think you got a pretty good idea of what you did this morning. You know what's happening here. And we would make, we would also, we would make our own butter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And stuff like we get on the trampoline and you put it in a big jar, you take the cream and you put it in there and you shake it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first time I noticed that like we lived out in the middle of nowhere and that like not everyone lived on a farm was when we went to school and we had a uh, field trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You never- You're asking me if I've drank from the teat, is what you're trying to get at. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty different. It's very different. It's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thought of it just now, yeaah. And they're gonna be like, very confused whenever they hear it, like, so you don't deliver milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they, or they will get, or they will be kind of, it'll disease like basically from the inside out, they'll get like their milk bag will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, but the reason that they did that, so going back to, uh, back in the day, like if a cow tried to, if there was a huge field, it's not like you can see them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if they can get out, like we have like, you know, there's like 300 acres around there that they could just walk on. And so when you go to like, if you had your one milk cow, you'd be like, ah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta go find this cow. And it's not like everyone had four weathers back then, where they're just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, their GPS, where they're just finding their cow, like, she's in the car. They could be in the back. And you'd have to carry like, four bottles? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you'd bring them in like you would with feed. Oh, okay. But yeah, it would be, it was so they could find their, I'm sure there's other things, but I'm pretty sure that's why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they like it because it hurts to have that much milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every day. Every single day. Sometimes twice a day. Yes. Not all of them. If they're producing milk then they do. They have to be milked every day. And we weren't like the, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how they make it. Actually, there's no such thing as milk cow. They're able to hold it. If we feed it to them, they can hold it to us for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a cow that we had that, they're very smart animals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, they would get, like she would get annoyed that she was, you know, having to be milked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you would get, like you have, I would milk in a pan. Betsy, come on. Betsy, calm down. I'm trying to think of the name of, of what her name actually was. It was Daisy. Daisy was her name. Yeah. She was a Jersey, Jersey milk cow. And, and you would get her in by going. She's from New Jersey? That was like the call. What was it? Yeah. No, I'll do it only once. No, do it one more time. So you go, suck, suck, suck, skiff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's also how we had a family reunion. It was a real problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. Pigs are a little bit different. I also don't know where these calls come from. I just know that my family did that one. And it was a different one for ghosts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that my, at one point we didn't, my mom bought these goats because this guy was selling them and she loved animals. Like this was not how we made our living. My dad has a construction company. This is like for fun. This was for a good time. My dad was not an animal lover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, then he was later, after we had a hundred million of them. So we had chickens, cows, we had goats, we had horses, we had the whole gamut, we had geese, wild animals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Llamas. Oh yeaah, he got emus. Emus yeaah. He got emus, those were aggressive. And they killed, yeaah, it's a whole story. It's a whole story. For another time. Yeaah. But she had got these 60 goats and she was like, she was super excited about it. And there was one that came out, he was the billy goat and his name was Big Jim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you spanked Big Jim, it was like a thing, like the guy, like it's the only thing he talks about, like there's 60 goats, there's gotta be other things you need to know about these goats before my mom, you know, buys them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And but, but big gem, the only thing that he told us about these goats was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't spank him. Where it was like, that was the first thing I was gonna do, like I can't wait to spank that billy goat. I can't wait for this dude. But they were like, I think they might have done it, like the kids or something, like on the farm had spanked this goat and he would chase him. And this, this goat is literally like the size of you and me. Like it's a he looks like a horse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally looks like, like he would be, he's, he was bigger than me. Like if I got an all fours. Yeah. Yeah. He's massive.


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[Assistant] And so I would always like, I'd have buddies come over and like, we thought it was hilarious. You'd just kind of give them a little swat and he would chase you around until he butted you very hard and knocked you to the ground. And it was awesome. It was almost like a heat seeking missile where you just like, when your buddies up there, you slap them and you get in cover and it's all hells about your break list.


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[Assistant] We also, the best one though where I was going with the 60 goat thing, the other thing was the, the way that you got, they would go like and stay in like the South field and there's 60 of these goats. And so you would literally yell in goats. That was their call.


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[Assistant] And 60 goats come run around this corner like it's a freaking stampede. And it was amazing to watch.


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[Assistant] And those were, we had one named Gibraltar and we played with him like a, a pet when he was a kid. Big mistake.


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[Assistant] Because he got bigger and he still wanted to play and he was massive. And he was a jersey bull, which is like the number one most dangerous bull in the world. And he, but he was cool. He was, he wanted to butt heads with you.


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[Assistant] But he was, yea, he was a sweet bowl, but very, could've just unleashed him.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I didn't, I didn't do that. My grandpa did. They had, they had like actual like beef cattle and they did that whole deal. So I'm, yeah, I did it.


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[Assistant] Yes, maybe not each. We're not, we're talking about the whole, uh. How are you talking about the whole thing? The whole thing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, my cousin, Tori, had pigs. His family, like, they had pigs. And it was, they actually had a, like a pig, like a full on farm. Like that's what his uncle did.


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[Assistant] And it was pretty disgusting. Like, they're eating stuff that's like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you, you know, we had people like, not people, but it was like our, you know, our family members and there was other people, there's other farmers around.


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[Assistant] We didn't, we didn't go on much. But there was, it's not that, there was like one cow, we didn't have 50 cattle to, to.


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[Assistant] I mean I didn't like getting up at 5.30. I'll tell you that. I hated that. Cause then you had to drive an hour and I had basketball practice like first to school.


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[Assistant] Well, that was just to know, so we could get everything done. Yeah. So it was, you know, it was cool though, especially looking back now, it was literally like, it was paradise being out there, but growing up in it, you just think I got to get out of here. Yeah. It's just like, there's no, there's nothing going on around here.


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[Assistant] I had no option because my sisters were like, they, when they went to like college, I was still in like, you know, 10th, 11th, probably actually the point ninth grade. So there was no one there.


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[Assistant] I was in third grade. And that's when I was born. So I started to pick up the slack, but I had to do it. There was nobody else there. My mom did a lot of it. We had like, she had like a farm hand that would help us.


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[Assistant] Yeah, chicken, to go back to your question, your original question of what's the easiest to have, I'd probably say chickens are pretty, chickens are great.


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[Assistant] Like they're just a, we, I mean, she had a lot at one point where it was like, but we would, we would eat the eggs and like, you know, we would actually use it. And I love eggs. It was like a, you know, there's nothing like a farm fresh egg.


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[Assistant] A lot of snakes would get eggs. I mean there is actually recently I went to visit my parents in Arkansas and I was, we had taken our bus down there. My dad put like shore power at the farm and we parked it down there and I get a call from my mom at like 11 o'clock which she doesn't stay up.


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[Assistant] So I thought honestly that someone was like, I thought someone had saw our bus.


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[Assistant] I'm on the, we're on the bus, like my kids are on there and Hannah, and I was just like, she calls me and she's like, she was like, Shay? She asked me this, first of all, I don't have, it's not like I did not have a gun.


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[Assistant] We don't know what's going on. Might be aliens. No idea what's going on.


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[Assistant] These things are like nine to ten feet tall sometimes, or long. Huge black snakes, and they'll just like, calm chicken snakes is usually what they call them because they're usually the ones who try to get in there with the, you know, get the eggs. And it was just massive, and it's dark, there's no lights on there, and I have literally, yeaah, yeaah, there they are. Right there.


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[Assistant] That's exactly what they, what they look like, they're massive. And so a lot of times you see that picture up there with the, uh, what looks like probably a, a dominicker chicken, I think is what that's called. Or it's a, no.


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[Assistant] Anyways, the snakes would get up in there, they'd wrap around, like, they'd get in there with the chicken, and the chicken doesn't really know what to do, it's not like they can just, like, peck them to death, like, fully.


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[Assistant] And it was, yeaah. But yeaah, we had to get that snake out. I had to get it out of there for her.


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[Assistant] And it was terrifying. She was trying to hold it down and it had like.


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[Assistant] It looks like it had eaten like a hundred eggs. It has this huge thing in the middle of it. It either ate an actual chicken or it just had eggs in it. And so she, and then at one point she goes, I lost him. And I was like, oh my God, it's dark. She has her phone light. She's trying to like do this. And this snake is like eight feet long and it's like running around the side and I'm sitting there trying to.


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[Assistant] Catch it and get it out of the barn. But yeah, we got it. We got it. The extermination.


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[Assistant] We just, we took him out to the, to the side. We let him live. We took him to the neighbor's farm. Yeah, we don't like him.


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[Assistant] How much is a chicken leg? I mean, it's, it can be, if you have a bunch of chickens, there's, I mean, there's eggs every day. Yeah. But there has, yeah. It's, I don't remember anymore. I know we always had eggs every morning. We'd go and gather eggs, so.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's why they walker. They don't say much. Yeah. You know, they're just like, yeah.


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[Assistant] Wow, I mean it's significantly more. Walmart has significantly more. Amazon's gonna go buy that. But they're also like, it's a lot of technology, it's a lot of...


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[Assistant] It's like music, where it's like the indie stuff. Yeah. When people become super successful, they're like, oh, like they sold out. Metallica was like,


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[Assistant] That's yea, he's from the, uh, uh, people in my, Justin Morris from, uh, uh, Arkansas, country singer. Uhm, Joe.


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[Assistant] I think Billy Bob Thornton might have, we might have the same birthday. Oh yea? I don't know that for a fact.


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[Assistant] I feel like if someone was like guessing who's older, you or Nate, I feel like that would be a harder, like why? Cause I feel like I look old. I could look anywhere. I'm going to look like this for a long time and you're kind of the similar


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[Assistant] Situation. I know, but if you dyed your beard, people would, there would be no indication of how else you are. Yeah. Nate's reverse aging. He is. Yeah.


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[Assistant] If I told someone I was 45, they'd be like, sounds right. That sounds about right.


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[Assistant] Well, we call it the fifties because we didn't keep track before that. I just found out a couple of years ago that like the forties, thirties, and twenties happened. Yeah. Yeah. So, I don't know. Who knows? No one knows. No one knows. In Arkansas. No one knows, but.


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[Assistant] Do you ever know that? It would if we were like a, you know, if we were making our living like, you know, sowing the fields. Is that why? Why does that matter?


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[Assistant] Yeah, and we had to do that. There was a call for that as well because we didn't have time. So it was a, you know.


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[Assistant] It's Mayberry. It's Mayberry. But there's like, you know, everybody, yea, you knew everyone.