[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pitches of stuff, mostly just plugs of like when I'm streaming and stuff and, uh, occasionally pictures of things I've done and where I am and people. I tried to make an effort to post something every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found it really hard, like I really wanted to be able to use social media. It's something I've never been able to do this whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm on the wrong thing. Instagram Lewis Brindley. It's obviously not mine, but. It's not yours. Cause look at this dude. He's a hunk. He is. He's a hunk a chunk of burning love. Well, he's welcome to have that Instagram. Do you know what I mean? Like go for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically my attitude towards social media is I know I should use it because certain people want to use it and they want to be like notified of stuff that's gone out and I want to post some stuff somewhere, like I do have some pictures and interesting shit that happens occasionally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and I want to just throw it out there so it's got a place to, to, to go. But I think if it's like sufficiently interesting, go on Instagram and Twitter. Or if it's not that interesting, it could just go on Twitter. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I've never liked it. I really wanted to try and be like, you know, someone who, who used it properly and smartly, but I, I just, and I tried to train myself to be that egotistical asshole who wants to take a picture of his face every day. Right. And I couldn't do it. I could not, basically what I'm saying is that I'm, my ego is intact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see. I'm not, yeah, I had to, I used like a, there's like a couple of things you can use. I think I used a little, there's loads of little websites that kind of like, there's like a one called like if this then that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is quite good. Which basically is like an automation thing. I'd like to try and automate more shit in my life, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some people have all done that really well. Like for example, they'll be like, um, you know, when I get home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I turn off all the lights, show me like, like people have automated stuff a lot with these types of program and they can really be quite


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. No, every time I try and rig something up, it always doesn't quite work properly, do you know what I mean? Right. Like I had, uhm, I had a light sensor in my old place, and, sorry, like a motion sensor, and the idea was that when I, like at 10 o'clock, I would have the lights, like, dim a little bit, so I'd be like, oh okay, so I'm getting ready to like go to sleep, because I had like, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think in an ideal world I'd love to have like these cool automated things helping me out, but actually it's never, it's never all that straight forward is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit. I can't, I can't believe that. Is that, so that's a story you heard from a guy from his friend or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Christ. You might live with like the Fonz upstairs. I think, oh, it's fucking horrible, but no. Could be worse. You could be squeezing guinea pigs into a gas chamber all day. Holy shit. Fuck me. That is some nightmare fuel right there. That concludes this week's Stryforces on guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everybody and welcome back to the Triforce Podcasts today with me on the very last day of February where, where uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is weird that the older and more frail the people get, the bigger, the more dangerous fire we take them on their birthday, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that's how it works. I think it's like a graph, right, where you get better and better at avoiding fire until you're about, I don't know, about dad age, and then you're like at peak avoiding fire age, and then as you start getting older,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone's got shit that they can't eat that they, but I think some people just eat it anyway and don't associate it with the fact that it's making them fart or making them like have a sore, sore tummy. You know, people like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I get a salt belly every week and I also eat a fucking double cheese super pepperoni meat feast pizza on the night of friday. It's kind of related though, you know, it can't be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there should be like, mass bannings on, on YouTube and Twitch. Like, if you're like, doing that, you should get banned. I don't think you should be allowed to steal someone else's content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's tidy up Twitch and YouTube. Honestly, like, okay, so I'll tell you what happened yesterday. Uhm, I got acc- I got sent an email by YouTube, and it said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we've introduced a thing called the Copyright Match Tool. Frustrated by people re-uploading your content? Well now, in 2019,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could simply click a thousand buttons and remove that one video. So I went in and I was like, hmm, I wonder if there's any matches on any of my videos. And there's like a hundred thousand videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I have Yogscast reuploads. So it's like, you know, basic, most of them is like the songs and it's like people doing top 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Minecraft songs, and one of them has like 30 million views.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But so many of them were like Russians or like bots or like Arabic or like just, just literally straight reuploads or reuploads with the quality worse. And I was like, there were a couple that were like slightly transformative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I hope that all of those channels get banned from copyright strikes, and I hope that they- all of their content gets deleted off the internet. Let's tidy up the internet. It's like a trash b- b- it's like not- no, it's not a trash can, it's the opposite. It's just trash lying around on the floor, and I'm putting it in a trash can and then burning that fucking trash can. That's what I would want to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Deleting like any of the, the, the shit because it's like freedom of expression and freedom speech is all tied to that. It's like we give a value to anyone's contribution, right? And fair enough, sometimes


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a guy at Wikipedia who did like a bunch of uhm, an AMA this week, which was really interesting. He looked exactly like you'd think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was really, he spoke in a way that used incredibly long words that I didn't understand in the manner that only someone who either is I am very smart or actually are like a Wikipedia might use. Um, but no, it was, it was a good MA. He talks about it, but, but he talks about edit walls and how a lot of people like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Help to get rid of the shit, but that's the thing, YouTube and a lot of these places don't remove stuff. Like, oh, there was a big controversy this week, which I don't really want to talk about, because it really made me angry, but uhm. Someone used your cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was following this woman on, on, I saw some retweets of this woman on Twitter and she basically films her kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then monetizes them on YouTube. And I get it, right? You've got kids, you want to make them do work. It's done since the dawn of time. Everyone, you know, back in the day, used to have to have a lot of kids to get to work the farm, okay? And, you know, get the harvest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think here's the deal, right? Like, there's massive rules around getting kids and using them in making holly- in Hollywood, and in- and in TV shows, and in- and publishing, and the quality of it has to be a certain standard, and it has to- it has to be checked that it's not creepy, uhm, or- or ab- abusive, uhm, and the problem is on YouTube is that there's- there's people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Deliberately having another kid so that they can monetize it for the next five years. Right. And they also are like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Filming these kids and putting like these kids doing their gy- oh they're like, Timmy loves gymnastics! Timmy goes to gymnastics and does the splits! Like, like, like, those videos are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very dodgy. Yeah. Read like creepy stuff on the, on, on the internet. And cause huge problems. And also these kids are gonna have to grow up, like, and be 12 years old in school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're not really posting parents' pictures of your kids on the internet, you know, regularly. Like, especially in embarrassing situations, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I don't think they are extreme examples, I think this is happening as an absolute plague on YouTube, on places where it's unregulated, it's the wild west of the internet still, and you know, YouTube used to have this attitude of, you can't have an account if you're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get there's a legitimate, like, big audience of creative kids who are making cool content, like, and kids who want to watch it too, I understand who's watching it and stuff, and I'm sure a lot of it is legit, but it is a breeding ground for massive problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a picture of this kid, like, who's, who's like four years old and like wearing makeup and stuff and putting a dress on and his mum's like, I'm supporting this. And I'm like, yeah, good, good for you for supporting and stuff. But like, you know, did this kid be like, can he really give consent at like that age to have this stuff permanently on the internet now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just ban all these people who are re-fucking uploading, ban all the people who are reacting to shit, ban all the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when, and it was actually super, super nice to, um, got, had to get the old Southern Railways train. Right. Um, which was always, always a joy. Was it a sleeper? Uh, it wasn't a sleeper. No, it wasn't any like Scottish announcer or anything. Thank God. Just a regular old Southern Railways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of crappy. Little tap tap reference for last week. Yeah, they, uhm, that was weird. So, so, I, I just, you know, it was all lovely and emotional when everyone's touching their live flames together and telling everyone about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like, I guess it's, I've been to quite a lot of weddings and the vowels are very fixed and they're very standardized, okay, but I guess they came about before


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Divorces, right? Because some of the vows are like, they're just grammatically wrong in a sense. They're like, you know, do you pledge to be forever until you die? And they're like, yes. And then I was like, in my head I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Makes you go like, eh, eh, that's, it's kind of, it just put me off, I guess, a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying Martin and Nettie are lazy, I'm saying it's more that they wanted to do it traditionally, I think, and that therefore they just, they, everything was very, everything is very traditional in the wedding sense. They have like the, the, the, the cutting the cake and the first dance and stuff and it was all great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just see the family and, you know, just renew like the kind of ties that you have with your friends and family and say, look, you know, these are all the people in my life. Thank you for being in my life. And like, you know, this is how much you mean to me. I don't know. Like it's good to have an excuse to have a social gathering these days where everyone's there and they dress up nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they go to someone, have a nice meal and it's all very friendly and loving and really just wholesome. And it was, it was just, there were so many good things about it, right? Uhm, I didn't, I find it boring. It wasn't like too slow or anything. Like sometimes I've been to weddings that go on for fucking all day and you're waiting around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I haven't really talked about this, but like uhm, when we did the karaoke stream this Christmas, uhm, I was getting like, really nervous about it, and I was starting to feel like I was getting like, a little bit of a quickened heartbeat, and also like, slight shortness of breath, and I realised I was kinda having,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the same feeling actually, yeaah, when I get both. But I was having a bit of an anxiety attack and so I like, I had to take the evening off and it's the first time I sort of, it's not the first time like, I guess it's happened to me in my life, but it's certainly the first time I noticed that that was probably what it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't, I haven't really talked about it, but I sort of, I should have done maybe, because that's a good way to just get a load of uninformed assholes telling you bollocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was more that I don't know, like I was trying to think about it and I've never really, I don't know, like singing in front of people in karaoke is a very extroverted thing to do and I can usually do it with a couple of drinks and not have too many problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, but it was different, it was different, like, like, we've, we've, we've gone up on stage before, at places, like, in Somnia and done these things, and I've, I've usually, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, sometimes I never, I don't feel a thing, but sometimes, you know, most times going up on stage, you know, even if it's to less people than a, you know, a routine live stream, you know, where I don't feel anything, any anxiety at all, like, I think it is a matter of just getting used to it, but, but I don't know, I, I certainly couldn't get used to karaoke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also to have to like fire people, even like one on one, like, oh god, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially if those people are, don't even know who you are, and the pressure is on, and you're like, oooookay, well I guess we're just gonna go for this and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Super depressed. Look, I didn't, I didn't need it. It was great. But, you know, I've been to enough weddings. I know what it's like. I've been to tons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And honestly, I'm not a fan normally, but this wedding turned me around a bit because they streamlined a lot of the boring shit. They'd obviously had someone who'd gone in and been to a lot and been like, yeah, these bits don't work. Like chucking the bouquet and stuff over the shoulder kind of like the stereotype stuff was not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made a big deal out of and all that. You know, all the cliches were kind of stripped down a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it makes me, like, get heartburn. Does that what broccoli does to you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I let some stuff out today. Yeah, that's fine. I feel like I'm better for having it off my chest. Now go have your poop. Alright, I will. Thanks everyone. Bye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was 15, I did have a dungeon in my house when I was 15, but I haven't had a dungeon for at least 20 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we first started it off, there was no lasers and there was no shark tank or anything. And now, as you can see, we've come a long way. We've built the shark tank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello chums, and welcome to episode 99.6 of the Triforce podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I'm saying is, of all the stories to come back to again and again, that particular one is the worst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' crazy. I know. It's insane. My laptop, my PC, I've had this same fuckin' issue. Windows does it. Like, let's look at Windows for a second, shall we?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I think Windows 10 isn't bad, alright? There have been far worse, alright? That's the best I can say about it. It's not bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand, there's no other world where the owner of the OS


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The designer and all the rest of it enforces things on the owner that they have no idea is happening, meant most people wouldn't even know how to fix, and that it keeps turning back on. Xbox Live recording shit is a prime example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Xbox DVR thing, which fucks up your computer's performance. We'll just put that back in here. And they do that with all kinds of shit. I don't get it. It would be like taking your car to the garage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're always talking about how Windows is great and you can do what you want with it, then stop fucking with it. Let me do what I want with it. You keep your fucking grubby mitts off, Bill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what else used to happen in ancient Greece? I was reading about this. There was a big thing on Wikipedia about it. I didn't realize this was a thing. If you carefully Google paedophilia in ancient Greece, there was a big thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back then, where a son, like a young lad, 13, 14, would be basically taken under the wing of an older patron, like a guy, who would obviously fuck him and stuff like that, but also like educate him, so he was like his mentor and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've had quite a few against the odds wins in Dota lately. I'll tell you what. Mainly because if I'm playing, the odds are against you. But second of all, the games just seem really fucking hard. But Dota is in a great place right now. I'm looking forward to the interview.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, did you guys enjoy Keanu Reeves' appearance on the E3 stuff? I thought that was super funny. I re- I really do. I know there's a lot of memes about it, but I fucking thought that was hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just couldn't bel- I was just unbeli- I just couldn't believe it. So unexpected. Like, there's Keanu fucking Reeves. Like, he's now elevated to hyper cool status. Yeah, I guess so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your kids keep you young. That's not true. They add years onto your life list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do, they do get you interested in things that you otherwise wouldn't have been. Especially when you go somewhere on holiday or something, you, you do stuff with the kids you would never have done. Like you go see things that you, you probably wouldn't see, but you know will please them. And it's, it's nice, you know, it is nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, is it talking about, um, people, uh, want to, doing YouTube channels because their kids want to? My, my youngest loves YouTube. She watches Azzyland. Well, this whole generation does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. But so now when she plays, she's, we've got an iPad, she pretends to make YouTube videos. She knows she can't upload them because I've told her she can't have a YouTube channel because she's only seven, but she makes all YouTube videos and she pretends that she's got like a channel. Okay. So she gets her little iPad and she lays out her Barbies. She goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay guys, welcome to today's video. Thanks very much for, uh, watching. Uh, don't forget to subscribe and all this shit. Like she says the whole spiel that they all have, all these YouTubers. And it's, I think it's kind of sweet. Like she, you know, it's, it's no more harmful than when I used to pretend I was hand fucking solo or Indiana Jones or He-Man or whatever. I pretended I was hand solo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well look, no one wanted to be Luke Skywalker, he was like a drip, you know? And he was, he's just kind of a drip, Luke Skywalker. Even though he's the hero and everything, he's like, eh, no one wants to be Luke, you wanna be Han.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But do you know what's weird? When comics were a big thing, in the golden age of comics, all the parents were worried about comics. Do you know what I mean? Like that was the concern. Is that these kids, they're just reading comic books, but now, with screens, what you're saying, and what I think a lot of people are saying is, oh I'm so glad they're reading comics and drawing comics as well, but if you were doing that 40 years ago, that would be the thing people were upset that you were doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, look at Michael Jackson. His whole youth was taken up with his dad, drilling him to be a better dancer and singer and all the rest of it and the whole, the whole Jackson fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She loves, I mean, I've, I've watched some of this stuff just to make sure, and I can't fucking bear it, like- Well no, but it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they watch, they, like, they get into, like, she was super, they were both super into DanTDM and Stampy Longhead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's huge. Yeah, the dude makes a fortune. I mean, and you know, they were like talking about, you know, Dan and I was like, look, don't, don't worry about Dan. All right. They like, they were worried about something. He was, he said something like, oh, so and so, you know, he was some, some minor concern in his life. I said, listen to me, Dan's a millionaire. Okay. Dan is fine. Don't you worry about Dan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Mr. Zeph was away all week, so I kind of felt like Homer when he was left alone. But in a slightly different way, because I normally look after the kids anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my ideal scenario. She just went, I know, she went to fucking Vegas for three days for her company. Her company annual do was in Las Vegas, which sounds like fun at the like Bellagio or something. And then she went to LA because her brother lives in LA. So she went to visit him for a few days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, this is like the best fucking holiday. She's sending all these pictures of how amazing California is. It rained every fucking day. In California? Every fucking day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not talking about California, California is beautiful. I'm talking about here. So she's sending all these pictures of this glorious sunshine, she's at like a cool bar, she's gone to some cool restaurant, and I'm sitting here with the kids just thinking like, fucking hell, I got the raw end of this deal, but it really wasn't too bad. She had a great time. She brought me back some presents, so we're good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I worship the god of garbage, so bring it on. Oscar the Grouch, the patron saint of garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ghost ship is just an abandoned ship. It's not a ship that's actually a ghost. The ship is just a ship that's got no crew, and there's no sign of what happened to them. Like in Obra Dinn, remember? Yeah, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no spoilers. It is so fucking good. I streamed it. It was one of the few single player games I did. I absolutely loved it. Wow. He's a genius. He's a genius. He did that. He did, uh, glory to us. Papers, please. He's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the movie, uhm, I liked the fact that you had, that they looked at a lot of different influences that the mafia has, and organized crime in general has in that area. Like the dressmaking industry and the fashion industry. Oh yeaah, that's huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the turning point? What game gave you that impression where you were like, I can't just play a non-story game? What was it that came along that was like, that's it, this is me now, that's what I'm into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I played that. I quite liked it. I quite liked it. You're in a space station. You play an AI, and you have control over the cameras. I think the lady's name is Emily or something. It's got really good voice acting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stuff I played after that that's kind of in a similar vein, like when people say to me, you like Witcher 3, right? I'm like, yeah, I fucking loved it. I thought it was incredible. Like I played it through twice. I never do that. They're like, oh, great. Well, you should play so-and-so. It's like that. And I look and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of like that, but it's not as good, so I just don't care. Like I can't make do with a half-assed attempt at that greatness. And I think you played a lot of Red Dead Redemption 2, playing single-player games, and also Samuel Lewis, he played Obra Dinn, I played that, great story, you play a game that's got a story, but if it's not good, you just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, alright. This is, I would say this is really only for people, probably me and Sips's age, not so much Lewis's age, but if you're a little older, you'll remember, no I'm serious, you'll remember the comedies of the 80s, that's what we grew up with. People like Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, all those guys, John Belushi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all those comedies, there's a book called Wild and Crazy Guys, which is about the early days of the late 70s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's great. It's a really good book. I recommend it. If, if you have an interest in that. Okay. Cause it was, it was insane. Like the, the way comedy changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, my thing is watching stupid YouTube videos at the moment. You know, I was telling you guys I watch a lot of YouTube videos. I don't watch good ones. I don't watch good ones. At the moment my thing is live PD, which is like, it's like cops, but slightly better. So these are clips from this live PD show and it's like traffic stops. It's almost always a traffic stop. So they pretty much all go the same way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and it's almost always, they stop the guy, and the guy, uh, the, the cop says to the cameraman, alright, I pulled this guy over because he got a busted tail light, and he was doing 14 and 35, so I'm just gonna go and, uh, make contact with the suspect. So he goes up and says, uh, leave the circuit and wind your window down for me, and the, the guy's like, uuuh, uuuh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it seems to be the problem. Like they literally, it's, people all say the same thing. And I think it's cause in, in the main, you don't have any interaction with cops. So your brain isn't running at full speed. You're just saying what you think you could say and you're trying to talk them out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On your breath. And he's like, oh no, I had one there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] None of them could do it. They were all stumbling. One guy was like, well, of course I'm stumbling. Look at the camber on this road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's implying the road camber is so much he can't walk upright. And the cop's like, alright, well look, watch me do it. And the cop does it perfectly and then he takes like two steps and practically falls over. Then they do a breathalyzer and then they search the guy's vehicle and there's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there are some guys that they stop, and the car, like, they wind down the window and smoke comes billowing out. And the guy's like, I get a kind of a smell of weed coming off this car. You guys smoking? Oh, just a tiny bit. And they search the car and they've got like 30 pounds of crystal meth in the trunk. Just driving around. Like it's unbelievable. There's so much of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you reinforce your prejudices a couple of times, you kind of ignore all the times that count.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, but I don't know how you stop that, because I mean, I don't know how you stop that. No, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But again, they have a vested interest in not getting caught because they just want to get rich by doing this. Like it's, they're just naturally criminal people. There are people out there for whom the rules of society to them,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's, you know what I mean? Like that's criminals. So psychos are different in that to them, they're better than everybody else. So they should be able to do what they want to do. Like that's a big thing about psychopaths is ego.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's part of it. It's part of their legend and their ego. And that's why a lot of these guys like to face their opponents. Like, this is a big thing for, uh, for-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rapists, when you have to testify in front of them, is a lot of those guys get off on that power trip of making you uncomfortable in front of them. This is not the way normal people think. So it's hard for your first thought is, man, they could have got away for it, they were so stupid. They're not like us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got busted for something stupid like speeding, or drink driving, or a busted taillight. If you were a smart person...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he says, I want to search your car, do you consent? Cause they always say, you got any drugs in there? And they say, no. And he goes, you don't mind me searching it then, do you? And they always say, no, go ahead. What they can say is, no, I don't want you to search my car. And the cop needs to have a reason to search your car. You can't just pull you over and search your car. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The easiest way to do it would be have a clean car with a clean driver, and if you get stopped for speeding you just say, I do not consent to a search. Bingo. But they never fucking do that, because the reason you go into this shit in the first place is you're fucking stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless they can smell weed coming out of the car or, you know, you've got a joint hanging out of your mouth or something like open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ...containers of booze in the car that they can see if you've got your stuff in your boot hidden and they have no reason to suspect anything, even if they go ahead and search and even if they find stuff, they cannot then admiss- use it, it's not admissible in court because the search was illegal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, you can be very careful if you want to. But luckily most people are not and they're fucking idiots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Heh, big fan of the Try First Podcast. Uh, just, uh, Officer Jones has something he wants to say to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This huuuge scroll. It looks like something that you would use in medieval times to read a list of heresy charges. Yeah. It's this huuuge scroll explaining how to use it and what it does and stuff like this. So my favourite part was that one of the things you might have is inappropriate happiness. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's a, it's very mild. It's a, it's an anti-anxiety. The doctor was like, we can go a few ways here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't remember what the chemical is. It might have been cortonin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there's a hair trigger in your brain, and you're just like, ooh, I really want to say something super inappropriate and do something really bad here. I don't think that's most people. A lot of people are like that. No, I don't know if they are though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you can look at it as a negative, because first of all, in a way I actually admire the honesty of someone saying something that might be inappropriate, but that they actually want to say. Like sometimes you think, there is definitely a time and a place, but you wouldn't be Lewis if you didn't say shit that other people might not have even thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this happened to me two days ago. My youngest was trying to say chicken nuggets, and she mispronounced nuggets. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I do that all the time, but I do it as a joke. You know, when I'm playing Hell Let Loose, World War 2 based game, I always like to point out the fact that there are German servers out there that say German language and Mike only, and the name of the server is like a reference to some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny to me that there are a lot of, um, especially when it comes to World War II, because obviously so many people secretly, like if you, if there's a website called Quora that I, I, I'm, I don't know when I signed up to it, but I get messages from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the other side of Quora is a lot of history and military questions. And I would say 90% of them seem to be, the Germans could have won, couldn't they? They just needed to do this and they needed to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all, yes, it's an interesting question to ask is could the Nazi Germany have won? Yeah. I've read a lot of stuff saying no they couldn't have, like it was essentially doomed from the start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which is a good thing of course, but long term they couldn't have done what they wanted to do. It was too much of a stretch. Uh, and they lacked the resources that they needed to really do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think there's the fact that some people didn't want to admit that things weren't going to work out because you'd have to go and tell Big H.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you know what I do think is weird is like the S.A.S. for a long time like, especially now, we don't really know what they're doing. Like they're so covert that they-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's much easier to get your population on board with things like rationing and all the young people, uh, being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the mentality of the nation to focus them on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This could be it. And it really, it could have been, like, especially from their perspective,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What Sip said about, oh I think Hitler was crazy, I completely agree, and he definitely fucked a lot of stuff up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But even without that, the purely logistical effort required and the lack of resources that they had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would have been impossible. Like the lack of oil was fundamental. They just did not have the capacity to run this vast war machine over this huge distance. And you're just going to run out of dudes eventually. I mean, it's just, it's just, it's like, like, you know, manpower is going to dwindle. There's going to be losses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was also the, I think another part of it was that they'd invested a lot in the Maginot line. They had, they honestly did have the best army and really good tanks and all the rest of it for the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had an army that was seen as unbeatable, and they had to, because they were worried about getting invaded again. They knew that this was coming, but they really didn't want it. And all the generals were guys who were from the World War I, remembered it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're like, never again. Like, we cannot do this again. And they just did not want another war. So when it came, they thought, well, we can win this. There's only one way they can come. They have to do this. We've got all our best units. And they did the most unexpected thing and went through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, the attack, that they took France completely by surprise. Surrounded a lot of units and it was just like, well, fuck it. Rather than...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lose all these men, we'll surrender. Like uhm, I think that was a big part of it, was this terror.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sort of documentary historian style, especially military historians. So they, I watched this video a while back, this lad explaining that actually Goliath was the underdog in that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How a lad in heavy armor trudging towards David across open ground was essentially a sitting duck and David could just hit him with his sling and these things have like the kinetic power of like a bullet, like it's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Essentially, David was not outmatched at any point in this fight, was this, this military historian's take on it. And when we talk about a David and Goliath fight, what we typically mean is winning against all the odds, but if you look at it, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Heavily armoured, he's described as being bronze armour, he's got a javelin and all the rest of it, and David was always gonna win that fight. Like, if he was any kind of competent slinger, which we know he was from the story anyway, he was never gonna lose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it was, it was not a fair fight. So I think it is funny when we take David versus Goliath, you know, David always wins that fight. So it should, people shouldn't use it. I just thought it was funny. Fucking David wins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that a biblical, is it biblical? Yeah, yeah. Cause then, get this, it's not enough that David, David hits him in the forehead with the sling bullet, it sinks into his forehead, so it's gone right into his brain. What does David do? Goes over, takes Goliath's sword, cuts his fucking head off, and is like, FUCK YEAH!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then I was talking about my favorite, my favorite, and I feel like this Bible verse was personally written for me. Hang on. It's my reminder to take my tablet. I already did it. Anyway, I feel like this verse was specifically written


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all, you can't be mean to a prophet of God. And then get this, this is the sign off in this explanation for why this is acceptable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this blows my mind. God did not break his own moral law. The Bible says, do not murder. Murder is the unlawful taking of life. But all people have sinned against God and are worthy of death. So God had them killed according to the law. I'm like, hang on a sec, that doesn't make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're big. But here's the thing, what the Bible verse doesn't mention is that the bears were equipped with slings and all the boys were dressed in heavy armour and were slowly making their way up the hill. So really, the bears just used their slings with their long arms and killed all the lads. That's what I reckon might happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even think it needs that. I mean, it's not like, I don't think stories need to be grounded in fact. You could just come up with stuff. I mean, it's so dumb. I don't know why you would read that and think, oh, this is, this is definitely true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I just think that the explanation that since we are all sinners, God can kill any of us and we're worthy of death is kinda, that's kinda crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I just think it's not consistent. That's the issue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, we inherit this thing from Adam and Eve. But this isn't, this is all just made up. Like obviously, we're saying this is non-religious. No it's not. No it's not. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zen kind of Buddhist, uh, unsurprisingly stuff that comes across and says, look, let's just be chill to each other and be nice and treat your neighbors as you want to be treated and all this kind of stuff. And it's like, these are actually quite nice lessons and it's rare to think of a book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you don't need, you don't need to be threatened with eternal suffering if you don't do it. I think it should be something that we should just explain why it's a good idea and how it's gonna help people. But instead, obviously at the time it was much easier to convince people to do things if you said if you don't, you're gonna burn in hell for all eternity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I cry at movies all the fucking time. Inspiration and stuff. I'm such a softy when it comes to films. Really? I mean, yeah, I literally, like I was watching Great Expectations on iPlayer the other, I think it was last month. Mrs. F was like, watch this. This is like, you know, Dickens classic. Yeah, I saw it recently. And, uh, it's got a very young,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I wish they all were. It's brilliant. And, uh, cause I'm such a fucking idiot, I had, I didn't know the story of Great Expectations, like I never watched it or read it or anything like that. Uhm, it was great and it was very moving and I cried and all the rest of it. And I'm, I'm just, anything, anything like that. Like I've seen commercials that made me cry, cartoons, anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, I mean, it's weird because you, I feel manipulated, but at the same time, I want it to happen. Like I don't feel, like I think some people get very paranoid about crying at movies because they're like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that's because, as uhm, and I hate to seem lofty, but as a modern audience, I think we are more sophisticated. Not us, but people. When it comes to watching movies and TV shows and stuff, we want our media to be more complicated, and people are willing to sit through


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our TV shows and our films, I mean if you look at the Marvel Universe, right, just as an example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think as long as you can empathize, that's the most important thing. If you can't empathize with the characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think part of it is that if you're constantly, and I mean day in day out, having people screaming at you, you gotta be competitive, you gotta win everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, not just teams, but the sport. Because people love it so much. American football, or in this country, football, or basketball. But when it comes out that actually, this is going to really fuck people up in later years, there is a knee-jerk reaction of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You cannot take this away from us. And I think it's weird because I don't know if you guys know, but at the moment in Virginia, in the United States, there is a big, big protest because they want to bring in what people refer to as


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also wanted to ban what they called, like, assault weapons. So, like, heavy weaponry. Uh, like, you know, if you- do you need an assault rifle?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you need a 50 caliber sniper rifle? And I think the attitude from a lot of people in the States is, well, if I want it, I'm an American, I can have it. I have a right to own it. It's a very tough argument to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially with people who are essentially really into guns and, uh, militias and all that kind of stuff. They're like, that's a part of who they are. They love it. It's like trying to take football away from them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you say, look, this is really bad and people are getting hurt. We need to stop this. They're like, fuck you, aaah. Like, they're very defensive because this is their thing. Oh yeaah. This is what they're into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Change some dudes, change some dudes over. I think uhm, what you were saying about mental health is really true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a big poverty problem in terms of the gaps in society between people who have enough and people who don't. You have a huge drug problem in America and you have a huge mental health problem. And now, in a lot of states, you can buy extremely powerful, uh, guns.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And easily, which is combined together leads to what you have in the states. Which is not, I mean, America is not out of control. I mean, you know, most people are fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but there are places, there are places where there is a huge problem with like opioid crisis and stuff like that. Sure. And there was, this is funny because I was watching a clip this morning, it was on livestream fails, which is just, they should rename that subreddit, it's not, most of them aren't fails.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this guy, he's, I think he's a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Dr. K, I think his name is, he's a streamer. Uhm, and he was talking about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why there is a crisis in mental health, from his perspective, as a practicing doctor, if you look at why people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm getting better and why people are being put on drugs so much is because when you go in to see the doctor they can make a hundred and fifty dollars from the insurance company for an hour of their time talking to you and finding out what's wrong with you and trying to help you get better and all the rest of it or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, I think it was 200-200 bucks for that hour the insurance company will pay out. Or for a 15 minute appointment you get 150 bucks if you just prescribe that person some medication.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the obvious route is that doctors will prescribe brain pills and after a while they stop giving them to you or the insurance company stops paying out and you then either go back to having mental health problems or you turn to drugs and you have that problem. So when we talk about solving the problem, it is soluble. It is completely soluble. We just need to not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think it does work, because if you compare the life of the average person, even a poor person, in Britain, with the life they would have had a thousand years ago, they're arguably better off. Or even a hundred years ago. Yeah, I mean, they're better off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we aren't getting there. It's just very slow. Like, human nature and society is extremely slow to change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. No, but we shouldn't. We shouldn't. The moment we say everything's cool, we will never go anywhere. We have to, in our nature, to strive and complain and not be happy with our situation. And you should never be. You should always be looking to make things better. Otherwise, what's the fucking point? For other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the fucking point? You can see, this is just like the bible, you misquoted me!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you gotta have all those dumb sound effects.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, yea. They love that gimmicky soundboard and you can tell that the DJ's been doing it for absolutely fucking years. They always have a news helicopter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the Kirk, Spock and McCoy. It's the, it's the James, it's the, the Clarkson, Hammond and May. You know, it's like the purpose of hat films. It's the cross, the criss cross, criss cross trot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not criss cross criss. It's like, bros, and uh, uh, yeah, T's company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's never the case when I'm in a conversation cause I will always try and fucking try and do the counterpoint even if I don't think, even if I don't have any education on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, this is me, this is what I sound like. And then you play it back and you're like, oh my god, I don't sound like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They want to kind of joke with each other, but I think the other thing is it has got this kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Authenticity attached to it, right? Like when you're watching it, when they do speak with that cadence and that kind of, in that specific way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very much like familiar and authentic to you and you think it's true and you think it's real, right? You believe it. You don't question it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the British newscasters have their own sort of, it's kind of a copy though of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to say western style, you know, very much reading stuff to the, to the audience kind of in a, behind a news desk, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's to get arrested. It's to get in the news. It's to be, it's to live that crazy drama. It's such a crazy place. It's like, you know, it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Bodega book is being, is being done and, um, and it's, it's, can I say who, can I say who I've got a bit of help from? Anyway, I can say, I guess I can say, my cousin, uh, has had a look through it for us, for me and Pyrrhon, um, and he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he's like a professional. He actually works as a guy who reads books for a living and then recommends them to which one gets published. So he sits around reading books all the time. So he read Bodega. He really liked it. He was really positive about it, wasn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not, we're not publishing this through him or through his agency or anything. All he's done is, all he's done is like, he gets nothing from this. Other than an independent person who doesn't, this is a triforce, doesn't know anything about it and just has no clue except works in the industry. So no, he liked it, he wanted to, he wanted to just take a couple chapters out the middle because they were a bit out of place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And save them for, I don't know, some other book or something. And he wanted you to change a couple of things around, didn't he?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's mostly just commas and stuff, but the thing is mostly it's the same thing. It's like the way you, you do, you, you, you choose a grammatical style, like when you write, like p- p- pard, for example, the correct


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have like a style guide when you start usually, which is that PARD is written apostrophe P A R D. And I think you were doing it with like a capital P. So a lot of the changes were just grammatical stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so halfway through the book, there's just like a bit where period's like got shopping lists, and then there's like a bit where he's like yelling at someone, and it's like, why have you typed this out? It's like, what are you doing? Put that down! Stop putting that in your mouth!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Anyway, so yeah. In other news, a book written by Pyrrhon Flax will soon be hitting the shelves. At episode 100 maybe we'll do it. How about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're doing it ourselves. We're putting it ourselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's like a reverse encore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We tend not to see like too many of the reporters walking out on the guests, so, but it does happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you write the question out, the biggest circulation weekly newspaper in the UK is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh fuck, because it's free. That feels like bullshit. I think a lot of those fucking doubles are just not picked up or like pigeons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The biggest circulation, uh, newspaper in England is the Metro. That's right. Uh, 300 pigeons. A free leaflet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, look at that downward trend. That is a fucking sad downward trend in newspapers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Criminal gangs? Like using fucking toasters to like, like fucking steal pennies from parking meters? Oh quickly! Get all that, put those pounds out there!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a rugby team where you live. Fucking, you don't have a football team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's part of it as well, isn't it? That you, you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he portrays something, even a good guy, like Freddie Mercury, that you just don't like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they play, we are the champions every time your team wins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like an office thing though, it's like the fucking, it's like that, oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is like that safe office generic thing that they would play at the pub quiz, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have any problems. When you're like 50, you'll have a lot of problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like her. She's great. I like her. So the, the thing, I mean, she, she was in that great Black Mirror episode, right? And I, I hear that like, uh, Black Mirror is quite popular in China. Okay. Really? And, um, yeah, very, very popular. I think it's popular everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's like scary blacklists you could be put on and things for, for, for jobs and travel and cars and things like this, like in driving and other people can report you for stuff and like take pictures of you and submit it and get paid for submitting you doing traffic infringements and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of stuff like QR codes are apparently like incredibly prevalent everywhere and you have to kind of, I'm not, I saw a thing about it and I was like, holy shit. China is like an amazing, you obviously went to China.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's this huge, incredibly amazing place, uhm, with some really kind of interesting


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've got like really good, um, like facial and like gait recognition cameras and stuff that can track people, um, and like walk where they go and stuff. And, um, you can like, I watched this video of a guy who was driving along. It was like one of these, um, uh, you know, like they, everyone has these, like what they called, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cameras on the front of their car, uhm, dash, dash cams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, like there was this crazy like car that just pulled out and like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, because they'd, you know, done this overtaking in the wrong lane or whatever to get away from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy who was driving like a nutcase. So like there's a lot of people kind of willing to take advantage of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Measures that they're putting in ostensibly for good reasons, but leading to this kind of crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also, everything's changing at such high speed as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking of opening a branch of Halfords here on Jersey but no more. Good luck. I can't keep dreaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you get your shit food yet? Your, um, meal replacement food. Do you mean the MREs? High calorie, like prison, um, apocalypse food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't you go camping or something? Fuck, you know, like have an excuse. If you enjoy it so much, you gotta do it in the right scenery, right? It's like, it's not the same, is it? You know, it's like, it's like, you know, if you're going to enjoy like a delicious, I don't know, steak, you want to like get, you know, light the candle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, get it all grilled up nice, you know, and like, you know, lay the table, put the, put the fancy cutlery down, get the china out, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, terrific business venture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you could also, like, do all the, you could do all the, please, please put your underpants in this bag, you know, bend over, cough, like, you know, the whole thing, you know, like, it could be like a whole prison. Yeah. Yeah, on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really way too heavy. I think the difficulty partly is that sometimes people, when they know they're on camera, it can change their, the way they act and the way they behave and things. And I think that's always like a dangerous thing, isn't it? When you point the camera in someone's face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, you're, you're kind of, you're not sometimes getting a snapshot of these people's lives. You're kind of, you're kind of interfering and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another victory for Jersey's finest employer sits today on Judge Judy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As Judge Judith Shideland rules in favor of the lady whose handbag was stolen, the guy was forced to return the handbag with the, the containing box of tampons and uh, lipstick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have fucking shows for anything. They have shows for everything. It's just any old garbage you want to watch, there's a show about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're coming up, the crew of the Disco Valencia, coming up with a plan. That's the setup. Okay, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It still is a thing. I mentioned it a couple of times I think. Okay. So Earth is a thing. So this is like the future and we've all met up with all these other


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[Assistant] It's just like reading stories to my kids, it's unbelievable. Alright, you ready? Yep. Alright, so this chapter's called Zero One. They stopped being numbered sequentially a long time ago. Just gotta get comfy here. Alright. Shall we take our shoes off?


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[Assistant] That's some model you got there, Neb, said Bodega, wearing only his space underpants.


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[Assistant] Hands on hips as he surveyed the vast diorama Nebesh had constructed in the cargo bay of the Disco Volante. So much detail. So much accuracy. It looked like the work of pilflorian ants rather than the work of a single man. Okay, pilflorian ants. Right, okay. I'm good.


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[Assistant] Can you bodega interrupted with a simple raised palm?


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[Assistant] Lots of dots, exactly. That's the best you could come up with. And then when the stars move, you gotta release a new edition with the adjusted star positions.


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[Assistant] Whiz. Anyway, sorry. That's alright. So Tamira was, uhm, a woman in an earlier chapter.


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[Assistant] We get as far as a 20 arena part. It says quints, but I guess that's...


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[Assistant] Yeah, so Tamira was way back there and she kind of is a spy, do you remember? And they met in a bar.


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[Assistant] Still, for a chance to meet with Bodega, she figured the odds were in her favor. Yeaah. It goes on and, uh, eventually I think they get captured by...


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[Assistant] Bodega gets glued, loads of glue, he chants at her to run away, and then there's some stuff that covers what happened to her, they don't want to give away.


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[Assistant] So, Nebuchadnezzar's been maintaining his focus. And I said, probably because he fancy the pants off of Tamira.


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[Assistant] She was still notionally a member of their crew, even if only loosely. As a friend of Bodega, she was considered non-expendable, and friends were never left behind. Never.


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[Assistant] Don't worry, Tamira, we're coming, Nebesh said as he adjusted the tiny brim on the tiny hat on the tiny bodega model with a tiny pair of tweezers.


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[Assistant] Sadly for Nebesh, the craft and detail would almost certainly be totally underappreciated by his compadres. So he's built like a big model to explain the plan.


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[Assistant] It's true, he was mainly joking for grammar-spilling. Guys, this is it.


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[Assistant] There's also an extremely good chance we'll learn the location of Tamira and be able to rescue her, assuming she's still alive three years down the line.


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[Assistant] Not that my entire interest in this little caper stems from the promise of money, but it is nonetheless intriguing. Well, I'll come to that part in due time. Reed, I assure you.


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[Assistant] This, he began wearily, using his vidscreen projector to generate a large holographic panorama in midair, is the planet Zero-One. It is a machine world.


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[Assistant] Spinning before them, they saw the holographic projection of a steel grey planet that looked more like a ball bearing than a habitable world.


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[Assistant] It had deep scratches that ran in perfectly straight lines on sections of it, mainly around the equator, but for the most part it was smooth and featureless. No water. No climate visible. It was like God had lost his most boring marble.


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[Assistant] Asterisk footnote. Now this is what you were asking about. There's loads of footnotes cause like...


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[Assistant] Expressing outrage at this situation kept a few Earth politicians in jobs since they could point to the Galactic Council and remind everyone that yeaah, they were bound by it but they voted against it so it wasn't their fault.


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[Assistant] That's what I said, it should be little and dusty and, you know.


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[Assistant] If you're sleeping, and you wake up and it's still going, uuuh.


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[Assistant] I think the average book is about eight to ten hours to read. So two minutes fifty. How long can you talk for?


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[Assistant] I don't think I can afford to even play. See what I can do. Okay. Do you want to hear some more? Sure. Okay.


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[Assistant] People started to drink more, take drugs more, and to fight more, first among themselves, later among the different races. New and powerful anti-machine political groups formed. Religious groups quickly amended their hot takes on their race's particular ancient holy scripture to reflect the change in public opinion.


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[Assistant] That artificial intelligence should never again be permitted to get within half the mental capacity of sentient beings.


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[Assistant] Computer programs aren't edible, but the AI ones were certainly intelligent. Smarter than people, in fact.


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[Assistant] So it was decided the machines would get their own world. And that's all one, asked Bodega.


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[Assistant] No, said Nabish. The machines were to be given a brand new world, colonized for them by Galactic Council member planets, and kept secret as a sort of surprise. Naturally, the machines had learned of its construction and had a vast simulated eye-rolling upon reading the plans and laughing amongst themselves. It was, frankly, all wrong.


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[Assistant] And I've been constructing their own world in secret for several years.


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[Assistant] So that's a one, said Bodega, firmly, yet somehow still uncertainly.


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[Assistant] Precisely said Nevesh. Bodega grinned and leaned back perilously further in his chair.


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[Assistant] There is no inherent planetary atmosphere, no water, no clouds, no wind. Down here on the surface is nothing but machinery.


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[Assistant] Computers stacked up in arrays miles high, each containing millions of artificial intelligence beings living out whatever life they lead and whatever virtual worlds they've constructed for themselves. All connected.


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[Assistant] By the frankly dizzying network that snakes around the entire planet.


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[Assistant] A planet that's nothing but computers, said Reed, shaking his head. What about power? We're not sure.


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[Assistant] Nobody knows exactly what powers this mammoth sea of electronics. And I don't want to really read too much more because it...


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[Assistant] What was that guy's name, the actor? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.


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[Assistant] That guy. I'll have my people call his people. Yeah, yeah. Do it.


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[Assistant] If you have a question that you want to ask us, stick your hand up. Very brave. Keep it cool. Let's go with his hand over there.


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[Assistant] Uhm, there's a, there's a very big chapter that's not from his point of view at all. And I think there are other points in the book that aren't really anything that he can see. But most of it is, you know, it being called Bodega.


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[Assistant] The book. It would be kind of weird if he was like, hey, it's me again, remember me from chapter three? We haven't seen him. So yea, it's mostly him, but I try to do the rest of the crew as well sometimes.


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[Assistant] I was like, oh yeah, and he explained why and I was like, yeah, that's a really good point. And then I sent Lewis the final version where I'd


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[Assistant] The thing that you sent me, I'm crap with words. So I just put a note saying, yep, fine, cut these. And I thought they would handle it.


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[Assistant] On a planet that Reed and Bodega turn up to in the sort of break that there is in the book before Nebesh reveals his plan.


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[Assistant] He gave me the nicest comments. He'd be like, this was great. Lost out loud at this bit and stuff like that. I was like, wow.


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[Assistant] For some reason. I don't know why. Cause I said to the editor, I'm like, reading back through this, I haven't actually described the characters very much at all. And he was like, yea, don't worry about it.


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[Assistant] I thought there's already, people have already done fan art and stuff, so I don't want to ruin it by saying no actually, you know.


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[Assistant] I'm thinking he's in his prime, that kind of...


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[Assistant] Not like Star Trek where it's all kind of clean and defined. Yea.


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[Assistant] If I think of something that I want to put in it, there's no strict rules, so I can just chuck it in.


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[Assistant] I love it, but- Yeah, we've watched Red Dwarf, and- Yeah, all that stuff, like-


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[Assistant] Anything sci-fi-ish. I've probably watched it at some point. And then some of it's probably been stolen and shoved in the book. More recently it would probably be Stellaris, right?


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[Assistant] You should bump into some guys that are way ahead, and Stellaris does kinda have that, but I always turn it off. I just want it all to be even.


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[Assistant] So there's an episode in that where a guy gets stuck in a sort of egg and time passes incredibly slowly to him. It sort of sucks his brain into this thing.


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[Assistant] Like I do this to my mate all the time, I'm telling him a story, and he's like, I was there. And that's not how it happened. And I was like, oh, yea I know, I've been telling loads of other people this story, and I was telling them wrong this whole time.


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[Assistant] Love comics, I read comics all the time. Uhm, I always have. I've got piles and piles of them at home. In fact, Judge Dredd is probably one of the biggest influences for Bodega, in a way. As he's kind of mysterious, you don't really know what he looks like.


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[Assistant] Unbeatable character with a ridiculously strong gun, but I guess I just kind of realized, basically Judge Dredd in space.


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[Assistant] You know what I mean? He's like a lawless bandit, where his dread is all about the law.


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[Assistant] Every month I'm off to the comic book shop and there's one in Richmond near me and I'm always spending way too much money in there. It's weird but yeaah, I just never stopped buying them so we should do a comic actually.


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[Assistant] And, uh, scary and nerve wracking, because I thought it would be horrible and crap.


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[Assistant] And spent a lot of time thinking about stuff to put in it and then panicking that it wasn't any good and everything. So it was a lot of, it was really quite scary.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but now it's actually, once the editor read it and said, yeaah, I like it. I was like, okay, thanks.


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[Assistant] Like if it's Raab, I try and like look like an ogre, I guess, or Bodega's just kind of cool, but.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it is weird. You kind of get into the, you get an idea of what they're like in your head. The problem is you gotta then put that down on the page so that other people can get that.


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[Assistant] I'd like to flesh out the characters a bit more, because at the moment they're just kind of like following Bodega around and doing stuff, but I think, uh, yeaah, that's for another book maybe.


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[Assistant] Because if you're having the same characters...


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[Assistant] So how much of the podcast? So the podcast takes you up to there, so it's slightly over half again, is new stuff.


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[Assistant] And then the other stuff is reprints of the hodcast stuff. And uh, you know what, one of the main reasons I wanted to put the originals in there as well, is a lot of people do fan fiction.


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[Assistant] No, of course I would. Yeah, of course I would. Love Tom, but yeah, it would be funny. We could do all kinds of stuff with it really, whatever, but yeah, I think, uh, I mean, it's definitely something I'd like, you guys would like to...


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[Assistant] Okay, so these are, these are, there's no, these aren't good topics. Okay. I was in Ibiza on holiday by the pool, and I was just sitting around thinking, and like I do, and I just thought of a load of crap, and then I thought, shit. Well let's not make


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[Assistant] Which makes it sound like an Italian podcast. Right.


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[Assistant] And the cast is always the same, a beautiful woman, very, very proper looking, dressed nicely, nods a lot, doesn't say much.


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[Assistant] And he's watching, and then the popcorn ad comes on, and then the muuuhhh THX sound, you know, and all that stuff, and then trailers, and then maybe some more adverts, and then it fades to black and he thinks, here it comes. And then another trailer.


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[Assistant] I think if all the other actors were like really intently eating their popcorn and being quiet, would the person be...


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[Assistant] That's another social experiment you could do, Lewis, in a restaurant. How badly can you treat the customers before they say, this is, I'm leaving?


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[Assistant] It's for pepper. What do you think is gonna happen? It comes out of a mill. That thing is...


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[Assistant] I was, my, my, my daughter watches a lot of YouTube, right? Right. And she was watching some absolute garbage, and I said to my wife, I can't understand why she likes this stuff, it's just some random guy, total garbage coming out of his mouth. And this, she actually said to me, it's a bit like Triforce, yeah?


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[Assistant] Have you ever done surfing? It seems like the kind of crap you would have been into for a couple of weeks.


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[Assistant] But now you're just casting your neck in a wider geographical... That's it. It's just a convenience, right?


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[Assistant] The source engine makes me feel sick. It gives me travel sickness. So when we do a half hour session I feel like I'm gonna puke.


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[Assistant] Do you mix it up? Do you think you'd mix it up? You don't want every picture to be business casual, business casual, business casual. It's like, I love to unwind. It's like you clearly don't. So you'd want to have one of you surfing on a tiny wave at Bournemouth Beach, one of you overdressed with your friends wearing t-shirts. What else could you go for?


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[Assistant] Not necessarily true, by the way. A lot of the episodes were written by not Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. Any show of that length, especially American, has writers. And like, the Super Nancy episode wasn't written by them.


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[Assistant] I mean, the funniest part of it is that he yells it.


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[Assistant] I think a lot of vegetables, um, might, like, I know you guys eat a lot of vegetables, so I think that when they're, uh, yeaah.


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[Assistant] But when they're, when they're digesting in your stomach, I guess, you know, there's maybe a lot of, uh, a lot of vapor and gas gets released. It can happen.


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[Assistant] There's a tree, that's it. But the tree wasn't there when we moved in, and you know the Russian spy house, this is an old Triforce staple that is behind me, where I have not seen movement for a very long time now.


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[Assistant] And in fact, their entire, um, rear of their house, which is like one of those extension, you know, it's like, uh, they've extended the kitchen out. And so it's like,


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[Assistant] Yeah, but something's going on here. They let weeds grow in the garden to the point where, when we first moved in there was no tree, and we've been here long enough now there is a tree in their back garden. It's still a young tree, but there is a tree so the birds love it.


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[Assistant] This is not just messy, this is literally wild land.


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[Assistant] I've got two old cups of tea, a plate from yesterday, a couple of empty cans of cider, and a load of boxes for things that I opened and I've still got the boxes, because that's a very, very dad thing to do, I think, is you open something, oh don't throw the box away, I don't know why I have that impulse now.


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[Assistant] I thought you meant it would measure me, uh, it was gonna measure something else. Stop masturbating! Beep beep beep!


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[Assistant] I got into an argument on Twitter a few months back where, you know the way those people on Twitter post a thread? They always do this. Thread! It's okay!


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[Assistant] At breakfast, or lunchtime, or dinnertime, and everyone's like, yes! We got that!


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[Assistant] And I just ignore those. But then sometimes there's one saying, how dare you tell me that your kids are more important than my pets? And I was like, they clearly are. Like, I'm sorry, but they are definitely more- your pets are not as important as children. That's the end of it.


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[Assistant] No, this person was like, no, you can't tell me that. My, my, my, I love my dog the same way you love your kids. I was like, no, you don't. Like, I've had kids and pets.


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[Assistant] I don't think I'm better, I just think it's stupid to say.


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[Assistant] That you understand the experience of being a parent because you have a cat. Yeah. Like I'm sorry, but you really do.


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[Assistant] Have a problem. If you think that you can relate in any way, like, it's one of the worst conversations you have as a parent, and I'm not one of those parents who goes around banging on about


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[Assistant] My kids all the time, oh it's so hard, I'm lecturing people and making out, like you're worth less than me because you haven't got kids. I don't give a shit. Like, I, I, I don't, I have plenty of friends who don't have kids and I don't think less of them. I don't think I'm a better human being, nothing. But if they say, honestly, if they say,


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[Assistant] With a hand on their heart, yes, no, I absolutely love my cat in the same way that you love your kids. I'm sorry. But you cannot. It's impossible. And if you have kids...


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[Assistant] Alright, what if it was less sci-fi than that and was more the sort of surgery you would see in, say, a garage?


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[Assistant] Arse to mouth to arse to mouth. Nice. That would be, cause it's a three person sentence.


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[Assistant] That's part of the experiment, I think. He did it with his three dogs, first of all. Center-peded them. He peded them. Alright, so he saw the idea.


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[Assistant] I think. And the guy at the front was like, he, he has to eat cause he's starving. So he feels the poop coming and he's like, I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry. Like apologising. It's horrible. It is horrible.


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[Assistant] Because animals are innocent, by their nature. They don't act with malice. Well, not many of them do. My fucking cat sometimes does, but you know, generally speaking.


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[Assistant] They're, they're very chill and they're, they're, they live for survival and instinct and you don't think that they're plotting to really fuck people over. They don't get, they don't have the same evil in them that people do. They have a more natural, like, there's nothing evil when a bigger bird eats a smaller bird. It's just doing what it does.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they do in China, for sure. You see them in the, if you go to the street markets, especially in sort of more rural China, you'll see them just hanging up like, uh, like, you know, when you get, if you've ever been to Chinatown, you walk around, you'll see in the window, they hang loads of ducks, right? They do, in some parts of China, you'll see cats instead. They're like skinned and cooked or ready to cook. Look at these delicious cats.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you just eat anything. They'll fucking eat anything, I mean, you know. But that comes from their history. Yeah. The history of like, there's been starvation in China for fucking...


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[Assistant] I don't know why I find it more objectionable than the shit that came out of my kids.


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[Assistant] But it grosses me out. The smell is much worse than human shit. There must be some big psychological thing going on.


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[Assistant] We got one from, uh, my kid's school, has like a tree sale, to raise money for the school and stuff. But we only got a small one, cause we had to raise it up, cause of the puppy, we can't have it on the ground, so we had to put it on like a little thing, so that she couldn't get to it, cause she fucking


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[Assistant] Any, anything, like we walk, when I'm walking the kids to school.


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[Assistant] But if she sees anything on the ground, she's picking that up and she's carrying it with her until I get her to drop it. So if she sees a stick that's like a mile long, she's picking that up, she's trying to carry it along. If she sees like a cigarette butt,


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[Assistant] She's picking that. And you gotta open her mouth and drag it out. She found an old sock.


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[Assistant] And she fucking ran ahead, like she's on the lead, lead is maximum, she like runs and grabs this socket, she's trying to make a break for it, like this is like the best find.


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[Assistant] Who cares? That's pretty much the way kids think of things.


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[Assistant] Are we, are we, are we a couple? You're a couple, yea, you've taken your dog. So Sips and I are lovers.


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[Assistant] I wanted a human name. I think it's funnier. And it's just better. I think it's demeaning to call a dog Mr. Fluffles.


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[Assistant] And if she doesn't come back, I get one of the kids, I say go up the hill and see if you can find Aggie.


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[Assistant] Alright, so uhm, the dog ran up the hill, into the fog? Yea, well it ran into the fog, you don't even know where.


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[Assistant] Well, I guess we call the dog a load and try and get some food and tempt her back if she doesn't come back after like


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[Assistant] I don't know, I'd give it a good few hours. I'd hope for the thog to clear. If it doesn't clear, it's like, shit, we gotta go home. What can I do? The dog's gone. I mean, that's it. We've lost the dog. And then I guess we'd go home, come back the next day, try and find her, bring some extra treats that she likes and stuff.


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[Assistant] Not- I'm not even saying the name of the other so-called survival expert because he sh- he shall not be named here. Ray Mears is the survival expert. Not-


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[Assistant] No, Ray Mays is just a lad who has studied him. Right, okay. He can build a canoe out of like a fucking tampon and everything and the dude's fucking G.


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[Assistant] Did you have, uhm, CS gas training? Like tear gas training? We had that at army camp. So we went in with the gas masks on in the room. They filled it with tear gas.


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[Assistant] They open the door, and then you take your mask off, you have to say your name, your rank, and like, uhm, what school you go to, and then they let you out. And when the moment the oxygen hits your face-


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[Assistant] I was, I was the fucking head cub of my cub troop. Jesus. The senior sixer. You were the fucking badge master. I was the badge guy. Jesus. I was the badge guy. I had a lot of badges. I went to cubs every week. Because the, because the church, right, that we had that had it in,


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[Assistant] Like all churches is actually just a fucking disgusting front. For badge collecting. For badging.


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[Assistant] If you want to keep that whole, you better turn up at church on Sunday. Because that's all they fucking care about, right? Is squeezing people into their church.


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[Assistant] Because that'll fool the omnipotent God. He'll suddenly think, oh, this church is very popular. Like he's some senile old man who's up there, just sort of barely in charge of his own bladder, let alone, you know, the universe and everything. So God is going to be fooled when you drag a bunch of kids reluctantly to church and plonk them in the back row.


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[Assistant] God's fooled. We've got a full church here, God. Look at all these happy kids looking at their watches and desperate to go home.


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[Assistant] Alright, you can ask for forgiveness, maybe God can forgive you, but the priest's like, hey buddy, it's out of my hands. You'll have to wait till judgment day and see what they say then. That's the only way. I mean, the priest can give you, you know, if you wanked on your fucking cousin's underpants or something.


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[Assistant] Stop Paul, get out of my dreams. Get into my car. No. Stay here creepily in your garden until you start listening to number one, the album again. Number ones.


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[Assistant] Do you do like uhm, when you're, when you're talking and stuff, do you do lots of arm and hand gestures? Like an Italian? No.


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[Assistant] I think that's what that Mr. Big song was about, uh, more than words. The song more than words was talking about.


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[Assistant] Say, I mean, no. They just rhyme say, it's lazy. You can't rhyme say with say three times. Like there's, you could say way, blue J.


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[Assistant] That movie that we saw, the, uh, the Shining part two was like that. Remember? There's like one dude in the theater. Oh, you're right. We went back in the middle of the day. Doctor, doctor feel good or whatever. That was fine. Yeah, that's fine.


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[Assistant] I used to work at uh, I used to work at Blockbuster Video when that came out on video. I remember we had like a wall of...


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[Assistant] That stupid fucking, uh, well, it was like a DVD at the time when it came out. He went rewinding them.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, there was a whole bunch of movies like that. I can't think of like specific ones, but it did happen for sure.


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[Assistant] You'd get like a wall of them. Yeah. And it'd be like.


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[Assistant] They thought, like, they were anticipating that, you know, these copies of these would just be fucking rented out constantly or whatever and it was just like, it was, it wasn't like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uhm, yeaah, like a certain movie would come out and if we didn't have enough of them, then yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but like a big movie, if a big movie came out and we had tons of copies of it and a lot of them didn't rent out, the week after that, half of them would be on sale, like as previously viewed, like it would like cut down like the rental wall sort of thing and then put them on sale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was still, it was still like tons of VHS. Like when I started working at Blockbuster, maybe a year after I worked there, that's when DVDs started like getting bigger and got to the point where we were just getting DVDs in instead of VHS. But that didn't last for very long because it fucking went bankrupt and closed down like a couple of years later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you just become spoiled for choice. It's kind of like, um, I don't know if you guys like remember those, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were like illegal game cartridges you could get for like Nintendo and I think they had them for Super Nintendo as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you like plug it in, you put it in, but it would have like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like a hundred games on it or whatever, but they were, they weren't translated or anything. They were just like all Japanese or whatever. But I remember like borrowing one off my friend thinking, oh man, like a hundred games. I can't believe it. And then I would play like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe five of them for like two seconds and then just move, move on. Like cause you just become so spoiled for choice that you just don't even care anymore. It's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not even exciting. Like you said, you're just like, yeah, whatever. 100 games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like that with my Steam library now. I got all these games, I don't want to fucking play any of them. It's just like, I've got like 600 games in my Steam library and I could care less, like half of them I haven't even played.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about, please be kind, rewind the stickers. Yeaah. You had to, cause like, that was the thing, when you had to return, when it was time to return your VHS tape back to the video store, uh, you had to rewind it, like, or uh, you were considered, I think some places actually find you, if you didn't rewind the tape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well sometimes you had to do that if your, if your, um, car, car stereos were the worst for eating tapes, right? But some Walkmans were really bad too, especially if they started running out of batteries. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terrible fucking standards to do with, like, the preparation of animals, uh, for consumption and everything. And it's like, I don't know, I don't know what fucking people expect. Like, of course shit like this is gonna get out and spread and stuff, like if people are just being fucking, uhm, not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I get, I get that once it's contracted, it can, it can spread and everything and they gotta, they gotta be careful. Like, I mean, like a couple hundred people dying is, uh, is, is, is pretty bad. But I mean, I just, I don't think it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And honestly, I don't think that in itself is at all a problem. As long as it's prepared, like, uh, in a clean environment and stuff. I think what's happening is that in a lot of places, like, there's just a lot of complacency.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, people probably aren't washing their hands as much as they should. People probably aren't like taking enough care with preparing some of this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then it's just inevitable that shit like this is gonna get out and spread around and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a worry if you're, if you're from that place, for sure. No, but I don't think people should be freaking out about this stuff either, like they seem to, you know, like, even the news and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, that's a bit racist. Geez, you shouldn't be touching them anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like go to any bookstore and look at like the categories for books and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The true crime section is massive and people have an appetite to read all of that stuff. They're fascinated by it. Yeah. So yeah, every time something happens,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if there's a big earthquake or like the tsunami or whatever, I'm sure that disaster movies saw a huge uptick. Like it's, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just human nature, right? Like, I dunno, we have these imaginations that need to be fed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not excited about that though, like, uh, so no, I don't feel guilty about it because I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, it's not something that interests me in the slightest, like it hasn't prompted me to go and seek out books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very, it's very themed around cancel culture this season, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think he's, I think it's typical Larry David in that it is massively exaggerated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He avoids like a lunch date with a guy he doesn't want to have a lunch date with. Another really funny thing this season is that he has like an altercation with this guy called Mocha Joe who runs a coffee shop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and he decides that he, he is, he's, he doesn't like the way that mocha Joe operates. He's got wobbly tables and his coffee is cold and all this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so he leases the place next to Mocha Joe's. He's gonna open up his own spike coffee shop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, something always comes back to bite him in the ass. And it's, and sometimes those are very intricately, uh, drawn out or whatever. And sometimes they're like immediate, but it just, it's just the charm of the show, right? It just makes it so fucking funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and when he does it feels great, right? Like it's very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's that exaggeration and like this almost like the worst possible scenario thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way that he's- But it's still realistic though. You can still almost see it could happen. Yeaah. The way that he's commenting on like sort of the cancel culture and stuff is that you know his manager Jeff Green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, no, no, come on. It was innocent. It was innocent. And then they see him with Jeff and then they're like, ah, fuck. No, it wasn't like you're, you know, you're an asshole. You hang out with Harvey Weinstein. Um, but like it's just like, it's just funny stuff, right? Like he goes on a date with this woman and like,