[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I feel like what this is, is this is just, again, the psychology of humans, right? It's where people, when nothing happens, it's people get lax, lax, laxer and laxer and laxer with the rules. They become complacent. Until something happens that goes wrong, and then they're like, who the fuck was this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well like everything, like even like from like the Challenger disaster or like Aberfan where they had the coalmine slip in Wales, like all of these disasters have led to very quick and immediate outrage and action to change practices, right? Like uhm, you know, often


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the play, the flight industry is one of the safest in the world. Oh, those heady, those heady pre-COVID days where we would fly around the world and visit places. But they were very, and they still are very, very diligent and very like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obsessed with accidents and I think it's because the idea of a plane accident has been so glamorised and dramaticised in people's minds. A lot of people still feel that, right, that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plane travel is dangerous, when in fact it's the safest form of travel by some margin. I think a lot of people feel like they won't get hit crossing the road, but that's like the most likely time you're gonna be killed by a car, you know? Uhm, it's, it's one of the things that we...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we, we did, we've surrendered our, uh, our, you know, a lot of our land, especially the city, so these very dangerous places, I've almost been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hit by this, this car zoomed through a junction, uhm, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of it feels pretty seedy and gross, and yeah, anyway, I had enough of it, so I watched, I watched that, and I also watched The Flight Attendant, which is this TV show with, um, the woman from The Big Bang Theory, uh, which I haven't watched all of. What's her name, Penny, from Big Bang Theory?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's the fit one, yeaah. Okay. So she's in this, uhm, I guess now she's loaded because that's what happens to people who are in an incredibly popular sitcom when they get paid hundreds of thousands of pounds per episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, anyway, I really enjoyed watching the flight, it felt like this time when the flight, it was nice, it's like a nice pre-COVID mouthwash, I dunno, it felt like a kind of, I dunno, I just worry that the world's different now and I'm scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it doesn't matter, that's the thing, it's like, it doesn't, it doesn't affect your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't worry, Ernie, welcome back. What a dark, dark start. How you guys doing? Good, good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are feeling the good vibes of booze, generally, that is being served in public places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who knew that paying, you know, overpriced and, you know, sitting in the freezing cold to have a drink that you could just do, you know, and you have been doing for the whole year, uh, would feel so good, you know? Yeah. Strange, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, as I've been out in Bristol this week, I've been hearing, we were talking about the Bristol slang, right, and I thought I could ask you if you guys remember, or know, or can guess, what some of the local Bristolian slag, slag, SLAG, what some of the slags they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, go on then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, obviously, a classic, like, west country saying, would be Gert Lush. Right. Right, of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, it means rather nice. How about scrumpy sips?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There must be like this psychology of still kind of having it, cause Prince Charles is 73 or something, but he's a very old man, relatively speaking, but you know, Prince Philip was 99, and you know, he was married for longer than most of us would


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder whether, because, like, you always hear, like, people...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does it change who you are if you always have this kind of authority figure? Like, once your fathers died, I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unfortunately my father is still alive, so I don't really know, I don't really have a reference, but I wonder whether people feel more independent, or they feel like they're suddenly the patriarch, you know, or they feel more authoritative, because Prince Charles is expected to be alive as a prince.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which has a title very much associated with y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's checking, he's, he's, he's one mark closer to the throne! You know, he's one, one step further now. I mean, I reckon it must change you as a, as a, as the way you think and act and behave. These, these types of things that maybe...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, they sort of resolved after the Second World War to kind of just be this kind of cutesy mascot, almost. It's very strange, but they've obviously, their role has evolved over, there's been various outcries over time of them, and it's just, it's like history repeats itself as well, over and over again, with Harry and Meghan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being the black sheep trying to be normal human beings and kind of getting kicked out, you know, it's this strange cycle of, like they keep making the same mistakes as well, you know, of being so weird and stuffy and stuck in their ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can't help but alienate people in their own family and behave in this way. It's almost an unfixable problem but it's by its very nature of how it is and so it's appointed by God and all this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like having a dog though, do you know what I mean? Everyone, like, if, if everyone's, if somebody, if they've got, if some celebrity has a dog, everyone's gonna be like, oh, I hope that dog sticks around, what a lovely dog. It's great to have a dog, isn't it? What are you on about? How is the royal family


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's odd, I think a lot of people are wrapped up in the fairy tale idea though as well. These, you know, the classic idea of princesses and queens and kings and romance and living in palaces and that idealistic idea of what life is in a palace. It's just very strange.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is strange to have this kind of, like, this strange status, right, where you are at the top of that ladder, in the same way that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Schools like Eton still are going. And they've had these long traditions of the whole place is full of, you know, wealthy people with connections and they've always gone there and they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They still are elected Prime Minister every time, it's old Etonians again and again, and it's- I read a little bit about Eta this week, so it was this guy who wrote-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drama, I guess, uhm, we would call it. A lot of, a lot of tattling behind people's backs and telling one person and another person said something about them, you know, and a lot of fighting of that and building factions, uhm, it's, sounds horrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it feels like this sort of odd, very odd remnant of old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you meet people from, you know, with a specific way of speaking, and you can't help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'd find it very hard not to be respectful of these just bizarre kind of things that really have no relevance in the modern world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think JLo would make a pretty good princess though. JLo is a princess basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need to try out our sponsor today, Manscaped, as these products will be life changing. Is there, is there cream for my balls? Yes, and you can win a ball sack beauty contest if you sign up today, manscaped.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of that, of that stuffled hair, yeaah. We won. You can. And you can leave him smelling irresistible. You can make sure your balls are perfect for that Tinder date, you know, when she, she's gonna be blown away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Code Triforce, 20% off and free shipping. If you've still got Bush, you should fix that. Thanks everyone. Thanks. On with the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's sort of used if someone wants to be a bit flash. It's sort of a derogatory rhetoric. That's right. Uh, this one, you might...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually get pflex, but this is hard, uhm, gas head. A gas head? What's a gas head? What's a gas head? It is a Bristol Rovers hand, oh my god, that's very specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tass Wester. A fantastic show. It's one that all the people in Yogs watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was seven feet four, that's huge, but how tall are some of these basketball players? What's his Yao Ming or whatever his name is? How tall is that guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's tall, and then there's tall and wide. So the difference between- So Yang Ming is two inches taller than Andre the Giant was. Are you saying Yang Ming has to shit in a bath as well? I'm just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like toilets are like, I mean, the scale here is like, off, off the, off, off the whack though. It's, it's that, it's, toilets are not that small, they're big, right? They're big compared to you!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay look, here's an example. Here's an example. You know, in the toy, it's said that it's a kid's urinal, and that's the only one you can use, and it's like, lower, right? And you can like, you can reach it, it's fine, right? Are you saying that that's, that he wouldn't be able to use a normal human...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, baby? Is it a baby? No, it isn't actually, no. It kind of means, sort of, my loved one. Someone I care about. It's like a term of endearment. It's like something that you say to someone as a- my friend, my babber, my lover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beeshees. What are beeshees? No idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She'd be interesting. She'd be an interesting gal. Imagine she's here, put yourself in the mind of her, what is a growly bag? No idea. It's a handkerchief, apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know if I'm pronouncing that correctly, but apparently it's the Jersey word for snail. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a nice word for, uh, the people. Actually, it's not a place. It's not a place. It's homophobic, isn't it? It's people who infiltrate the Jersey Shore during the summer. It's kind of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a hard roll, with egg and cheese you have your pork roll. Right, you gotta have it just right. It's breakfast, it's just breakfast meat. You know, it's delicious. Probably like spam, right? It's like spam. Basically. I love spam. Well also, there's Taylor ham, that's a different one, apparently. It's like a rival. What are disco fries?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't think too hard, it's not that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I give up. What comes into your mind? Disco fries. Weed. It's, it's, it's just french fries topped with cheese and gravy. Oh. There you go. That's all it is. That's like poutine almost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's a hoagie? That's a big ol' sandwich. It's like a big sandwich, yeah. That, I guess, is, yeah, it's also known as a hero. Yeah, a hero sandwich. What is a tomato pie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, not really. It's kinda like a more, like, focaccia-y, like, pizzer-y thing. Right. Cause none of these things, none of these, like, American pizzas are actually like pizza at all, like, all these Americans are like, yeah, it's nothing like a pizza! It's like a bread with tomato and cheese on it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. Is that like something that you, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you bang a left? No, it's like a extra bit of an intersection that's been added to help you turn left. So it's an extra bit on the right hand side. So you turn off to the right and then you go on, it's like a slip way onto the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But apparently like, that's in a way quite safe, because the lack of markings gives people awareness, right? So they're constantly paying attention, whereas when you're given very strict markings, you follow them, and anyone who breaks that ends up, you know, getting caught.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's one of the things they do in the city centres is they've been nowadays removing markings, right, and making this weird, I watched a video about it on YouTube about how like it's actually safer to, you know, take out markings and just have this weird car plus person byway where everyone just mixes together and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is Britain. Alright, wow. Okay, what about Iceland? Nope. Bad roads, bad roads. Peru!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. I got some, I got some London slang here. I wonder if you know these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a painting, but not. Do you know what? This is quite a good one actually, irrelevant for the pub. What is next man? What's the next man? Next man. He's next man. He's the guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel, you find that sometimes at the pub during or like, you know, well, back in the pub, the heady pub days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, well, what about Chung? Chung? Yeah. Oh gosh. I'd describe you as really Chung. Oh, extremely handsome. It is, apparently. Big balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tiny, tiny little dingaling down there. So, chirpsing is flirting, of course, for those of you who didn't know that. What about fresh? Uhm. Like new?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard that a few times. I've heard that a few times, people use that. Barry mainly, I guess. Yeaah. What about, I haven't heard this, what's Tonk? Someone who you would describe as Tonk or someone who is Tonk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a muscular, muscular person. What about if you got taxed, or you taxed someone? You got mugged? I guess you steal from them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other one I've obviously had a lot of is tune. Tune!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's three here, there's three here, which I'll give you a clue, two of them to do with dating. One is link, can you guess what that is? Is that like, exchange numbers? It's to hook up with someone, like link up I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then lips. Well. What does that mean? It could mean anything. To kiss someone? Kiss passionately, apparently. And, um, lush, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, good looking, but also long. What does, what this isn't to do with, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna take too long, I guess. I dunno, I've never heard of these, but some of these... You know what a crepe is? Like a pancake. Like a crepe. No, no, not like that. Like a delicious pancake. Crepe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crap. It's, it's really bad, it's crap. It's a shoe. What? Yeah. Shhh. You're craps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it means it- Picked on a what? It's part of a longer one. Uhm, but, uh, face. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It means, it just means ugly. Right. Um, but butters. That's not nice. Yeah, I've, I've heard that used. That's rude. That's not nice. It's rude. You might say someone was well butters, sipses, sipses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As always, new episodes are available every Wednesday on Spotify and other platforms, and we have a Patreon, which you can support if you look it up, where you get the episodes early. Yes. Okay, that's all we'll have to say at the end of that. Thank you everybody! Thanks, bye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because he was wearing shorts. Wore his shorts up to the north pole. You know what they were dressed like? They were all, I'm sure they were all dressed like properly in further stuff, but I can imagine you coming back with like the beard full of icicles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's a, it's a, it's, it's a decent cover. And that has like little beardy icicles in it like the explorers do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first person to completely cross Antarctica on foot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I actually totally get what you're saying, P-Flex. Like, if you were like, if the only thing left was like, you know, visit the South Pole, like carrying a washing machine. Do you know what I mean? If that was like, I was the first person to visit the South Pole with a cat!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think, you know, there's quite a lot of satellites around, quite a lot of things that probes have been sent over, taking a lot of pictures. We have a very good idea of what's, what's there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you, like, I mean, would you have wanted to live in the great age of explorers when people were, like, going to New Guinea and exploring the jungles?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the, um, like, I think, I think there was just, there's certain people. I mean, obviously Randolph Fiennes is this guy who was originally some sort of baronet, wasn't he? And, you know, his actual name is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's one of these people who's always been in this sort of great aristocratic family, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His father was, you know, Lieutenant Colonel Sir Randolph Twistleton Wickham Fiennes, do you know what I mean? And he was a commander of the Royal Grey, Royal Scots Greys. And so he has this history of, of adventure really, of, of being a sort of, I don't know, kind of a, I guess an old school macho kind of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he did it with like fun stuff, you know, being a hero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's gotta feel pretty good to be a hero and take a hovercraft up the Nile and fucking go, you know, or climb a glacier in Norway, you know. I mean, there's gotta be some, some like camaraderie as well between like the crew of like big army men that you break, like SAS men that you take up there and stuff. Um, but man, like I, I, I think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He must know the dangers and the risks. He must have encountered these things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen to this. Did he tell this on returning home? His surgeon insisted that the necrotic blackened fingertips be retained for several months before amputation, allowing as much regrowing of remaining healthy tissue as possible. But impatient at the pain,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is in the year 2000, guys. I mean, can you imagine just being such a year 2000 and a baron, Sir Randolph finds, going into your garage and being like, oh, this is really annoying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Masked Singer had to pick people who, cause they can't have it when someone takes the mask off and no one fucking knows who they are. And it's Johnny Bilbo, he's the star of Misfits on Channel 4!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always respect that. Like, I mean, the thing is like, we see this every day when we ask Twitch chat, you know, does anyone know this? And there will always be some fucker


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who like, there was a thing Tom posted on his Twitter, uhm, he's been posting a dice of the day and so Tom collects dice and he's got like a million really fucking weird dice, like some of them have got like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like a, um, it's like a madness dice for example, it's got like different kinds of madness on it and you roll it and it's like, oh, your character now has schizophrenia or he has, um, you know, some weird mental illness frozen for paradise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, I think. Anyway, he's got all these crazy dice and he posted this one, and uhm, it was like a Star Wars dice from a, from some Star Wars game, and of course there's been about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 25 different Star Wars board games in the last 25 years. There have been about 25 different, you know, Star Wars role play games and 25 different Star Wars miniatures games, you know, and so there's this vast mess. And so Ben obviously has played almost all of them and was like, oh, I think it's from this. But then someone else on Twitter was like, no, Ben, it's from this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, damn, son. It always impresses me how some people have that, like, amazing knowledge, and I guess that's where, uhm, I guess that was the idea behind, like, Pointless, you know, the TV show, where, I guess, you know, in that case, Sips, what you've created is a pointless answer, the Wu-Tang Clan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm looking at this list and it's reminding me of like a humble bundle, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There must be, like, a cutoff for, like, I think, I think, like, for, for, for, like, exasperation, right? When you, when you see someone who's famous, you can always get away with saying, oh, they're in this band that you've heard of, right? It's like, oh, it's, it's Joe Boynes, and, oh, where's he from? Oh, he's from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, Sagan killed a girl in 1990! Ugh, do you remember that? With fucking old, um...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they tend to like, the last couple of episodes they just get rid of everyone really quick. Because it's a good idea, because otherwise you end up having like three or four episodes where there's like two people and it's quite a different show when you go from eleven to two or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, there's still a sort of cultural, traditional kind of attraction to it though, a nostalgic sort of vibe on these things that people are hard to get rid of, you know? It's comforting and familiar to see a thing about the Christmas number one, even if it's irrelevant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did loads of stuff. Yeah, they did. Yeah, they were great. And there's so many great old


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I hope everyone is, is doing alright. I read today that, this morning I read that, uhm, this second sort of lockdown that we're all enduring has been much more difficult than last year. Uhm, and I think last year the lockdown was this kind of new thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and it was sort of interesting and different in a way because, and it was like, it was, and I think a lot of people dealt with it in different ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now I think everyone's really sick of it and bored of it. And I think that, I read today that sort of over 30% of adults of our sort of age group have signs of depression.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of, I don't know what it is. It's kind of like apathy and like listlessness and like things like just, just feeling not, not tired, but like just a bit, like just like sick of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, you know, I think, do take care of yourselves out there, look after your mental health, especially when it's so fucking cold. It reminds me of being in a fucking school field in my shorts, like, you know, in the middle of winter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so I'm going to wrap up warm and I'm going to go for a walk around and get some fresh air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello, welcome back everyone, uh, to the Travels Podcast. Apparently I'm too high-energy this morning, which I'm delighted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm in the Energiser Bunny, joined by an old wrinkly iguana lizard thing. Is that me? Period.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, look, I just picture you this way, I don't know, sometimes you have to, you know, I think about people's first sonas from time to time. First sona? What people would be if they were an animal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting that you had the same effect, because you'd obviously already had Covid. I thought that you would have... I thought that too! I thought you'd have a different effect, but no, it's exactly the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like, this is like some high level nerd stuff though, right? People who were really looking into all of the, I just, I don't, I mean, they're the kind of people who would sneer at the Astra Seneca one and be like, oh, I'm getting the, I don't want the inferior jab, I want the good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instantly try some wacky thing that I'm just, I dunno, I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My brain can't handle looking multiple moves ahead, I don't think. It's like, I think like, oh, if I go here, and he'll go here, and then I'm like, there's like a popping sound in my head, and I'm like dizzy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, totally. I mean, I've always been quite leery of chess because of the fact that it's kind of lumped into that same pool of games as Monopoly and Go and also, I dunno, backgammon and drafts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, forget about Monopoly, sorry, like, first of all, the old, the old games, maybe Bridge is in there, like, but certainly Drafts and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're older games, right? Even Snakes and Ladders is in there. It's kind of games that you are aware of, that are old, that have been around since you were a kid. You learned them when you were a kid. Either you were forced to play them, or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you at least learn them. So I've always known, I've always known how to play chess, because I think everyone as a kid at some point learns to play chess. And I think like you said, like I was talking to Rich about it in the office and he was like, oh yeah, yeah, just learn a bunch of openings, get a good board position and then you just, you know, just be careful and then you'll usually win because they'll make a mistake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, oh, that's good advice. But then I realised, so I read a quote that was like, play, play the early game like a book, play the mid game like a magician and play the end game like a machine. I don't know who that quote was from, but I really liked it because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It definitely is right. Like I'm sure that these, these uhm, you know, you can basically, if you, if you, if you're willing to put the time in to learn all these openings, you can do the first sort of 10, 15 moves just out of a book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I guess that's why it's inherently more difficult for the black, because if you're white you can just learn one kind of opening and the reactions to that, right? And if you react in this way I do this, if you react in this way I do this, whereas when you're playing black you don't know


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, so, so we, he, he loaded up, so we loaded up a game, uh, because obviously we don't have a real chess set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, or anything, we just sat next to each other on all these computers and played online and uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyway, I just, I just, I didn't particularly, um, enjoy it. I've never particularly enjoyed chess, I think, because I just feel like there's so much, I'm just never gonna, I can never perform well. I dunno, it's like playing football or playing- No, it's just practice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I don't know, like, there's just something inherently, like, I don't necessarily get a lot of joy out of it feeling, knowing constantly that I'm not doing, I'm not, I don't have the capacity to kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then, yeaah, Blitz Chess is, they're doing a puzzle faster than you can calculate. So there's no way to follow. You might as well just be watching a fireworks display. Do you know what I mean? It's like, it's just, it's mindless. But exciting just from the, from the idea of just seeing them physically knock each other's pieces over as they do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You are absolutely right. The fact is that, you know, in order for the executives to get their multi-million pound bonus, the thing has to grow and they end up in this vicious cycle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think it's a community thing, right? I think people like the camaraderie, the singing, it's like going to the theatre or going to an event cheering something on with other people, that's what it is. And if you have the right people to go with, or you make, you understand the community, I think it can be very, very powerful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, this going to a local club and seeing that. That's different to the idea of Manchester United selling their brand across the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And these Premiership teams are big money. Like, we've seen a lot of American money and foreign money come in and buy clubs in Europe because football or soccer is, is huge. Um, you know, Europe's a huge market. We sell it to South America as well. We sell it to all over the place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Premier League is like, selling the rights to that is billions, and it's, it's, it's, it's, even like uhm, what's his name, Rob McKennie, or whatever the name is from, always Sonny, he and Ryan Reynolds recently bought Wrexham, didn't they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's, they, cause they watched this, he, I think apparently he watched Sunderland Till I Die, which is this document, this, uh, TV series, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is, which kind of any, I think he said basically that, you know, it reminded him of, you know, his sports fans from Philly, you know, where he grew up, and it was like the same all over the world, that they were the same people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going to these clubs, supporting them through thick and thin and ups and downs. But I think that talking about European Super League as someone who knows nothing really about any of this, uhm, as far as I understand it, you know, in the American sort of system, they have, they don't really have relegations and promotions in their leagues. They have this kind of draft system where the worst teams get first pick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they were like, okay, we need to put a timer on, you know, because otherwise, and then it became the norm. And I'm sure at the time people were like, a chess timer? Putting timer into chess is going to ruin it. You know, there were certain people who decided that that was like, I'm sure there was an outcry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't know, I'm just saying that this certainly doesn't feel like there's a level playing field in the Premier League, does there? Because it's pay to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's my next annoyance about football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hear, you hear like a rumbling in the house like an earthquake and then out of all of the drains in all of the rooms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This week's sponsor is ExpressVPN. Thanks very much. If you don't use a VPN on your computer or your iPhone or whatever, you should. ExpressVPN is great. ExpressVPN.com slash Triforce. It's not a conspiracy that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just use a VPN. I do, uh, every day. It's actually quicker. You don't get data caps and stuff and throttles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, expressvpn.com slash triforce. You get three extra months free if you sign up for a year. So please do that. Support the show. Support them. Look after yourself. We care about you. We want you to be safe out there. You know, if you were, if you were my son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of stupid drama, and then at the worst moment, like, you know, like, it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's almost like this movie was written for, I dunno, some other fucking setting, like a boat on the ocean, or, I dunno, they found a stowaway. Do you know what I mean? Like, some more shit real world scenario. Because, like, as soon as they get the MacGuffin from across the other side of the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a solar storm and it's like, oh quick, we have to get inside to the stola storm shelter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like fucking ludicrous, like that it app- it happens to appear at this particular time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it's terrifying. I made the mistake of that, when my dad was looking down a manhole around the back, cause we had a similar problem in our house, uhm, I made the problem of looking down there, made a mistake, and I was like, oh, what I saw down there was very traumatising. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has met some absolute c-word like this guy, right? Everyone knows this guy, and you identify them as well, like you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With other, like, you know, like, you make eye contact with other people in the room, and they like, kind of, you know, signal, yeaah, they like nod, they're like, yeaah, okay, this guy. I know. It's, it's, it, ugh, you can't, these, these people are,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopeless. You get them from every walk of life, though, from religious people who are convinced one way or another, or people who believe in a conspiracy theory. You know, I've got a friend who is convinced about the moon landing being fake, and god bless her, she's lovely, but every time she brings it up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, she's just a bit, um, I dunno, like, just a little bit, uh, just, I wanna say, like, carefree. She just doesn't, just a little bit carefree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think she could well be suckered into it. Yea, she's the kind of person who could get convinced of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing you talked about before, but if you believe in a conspiracy theory, you're more likely to believe in other ones, but also, even if they are directly confrontational, like if you believe the royal family are lizards, but they're also vampires, you're more likely to believe both of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. She's really smart. She's doing a degree and kind of is, I've seen some of her work and she's, she's obviously very smart. Really nice and really clued up. And I asked her, cause I was like, is this, are you just doing this as like an interest? You know, cause some people like are into conspiracy theories just for the fun of it. Cause they like, they like the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The drama and thinking about it and all of everything around it. It's quite exciting, right? It's like, oh, it would be nice to think about if the Moonlands was fake, how would that happen? But no, no, it definitely believes that it was faked and like has kind of like, to the point where, you know, I don't really want to challenge it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if they didn't have that though? Like, it's interesting that, because technology does go in like different stages, right? It's interesting that the photography technologies were, and the broadcast technologies were at the same stage as like the stuff that was needed to get up to the moon, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, if they hadn't taken any photos and filmed up there, would more people be more suspicious?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the other thing is that people are trusting other people though. People have this inherent idea that someone they look up to, or they believe, or a role model, or someone older than them who should know and has known and has done their research, you believe them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, so you feel, you often these, these, the people, these cult leaders or people who are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These, these flat earth sort of leaders give themselves this aura of both being a nice person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These people also, these, these leaders are trapped, right, in that, that lie at that point. As soon as it's their living, as soon as these, these, you know, televangelist preachers


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leave that name again. Alright, that's enough. Uh, thank you everyone. That is, that is our podcast for today. Yes. Uh, you can follow Triforce or Spotify to get new episodes as soon as they come out every Wednesday. Please, please do, please do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Patreon. We do. Also, uh, Pitch Please. I was, I actually recorded my Pitch Please episode, uh, yesterday. Nice. So, that should be out soon. Uh, it's a podcast where some of the guys talk about games. It's great. Because you've been on it. We've all been on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can search for that, so that's actually returning, uh, it should be out by now, the first episode of the second season, so I'm very happy, cause I'm a great fan of that podcast. Um, yeah, and thank you for listening everybody, we'll see you next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's completely different. Like even the second one, but with the third now, suddenly, you're such a veteran, you know, it's like, it's like in a war, Lewis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is your third tour and you were in the shit twice, like you were really in the shit. The first one, explosion goes off, you're hitting the deck, you look like a complete rookie. Second tour, bomb goes off, you just wince a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Third tool, you're walking head first into an artillery barrage and you just don't even give a shit. You know it's gonna be fine. Artillery doesn't really hurt that much, that's what you're telling yourself. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is crazy how simple it is, but how much those little details, it's very satisfying. The last game I played that it makes me think of was Slay the Spire, in that it's just progress and, y'know, card based and everything like that. It is very difficult.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there, is there a meter that indicates when he's uh, when he's gonna come through?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this fucking sucks. So I was gonna go to a gig. I was gonna take my eldest daughter to see Everything Everything, which is a band that we both really like. It was gonna be her first gig and it's in Camden and it was gonna be great. And they had to cancel it because of Covid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, we booked the tickets ages ago, um, like, it must be like, six months ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they announced it. And I guess this was pre-lockdown too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but this isn't just research for some future series of where did I come from or whatever. This is just a way to keep track of who the fuck they got and where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of the information that you're talking about that's like, um, like it's not, it's not just one source, is it? Like you'll have the census that'll dictate, you know, who's living where and with whom and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you've got your birth and death certificates, marriage certificates, you've got all the other bits and bobs you can find. We're not, I mean, geez, there's so much information about us nowadays compared to even a hundred years ago. You can find out so much just Googling people and finding all these, uh, all these things. You've got fucking LinkedIn and Facebook and all, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if in a hundred years time Facebook is still going and you go crank out, they'll do some show where they go and dig out someone's old Facebook posts from, these are from 2009, oh my god, oh look what they're wearing, they're wearing clothes, oh my god, you know, it's like unbelievable. So I don't know, maybe that'll be the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess people from sort of, you know, people in their, uh, early twenties now, uhm, you know, if you pay the right amount of money, you can probably get a close up of their fucking butthole. Like that's how open they are about being on the internet. They're just fucking everything's out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so here's my, here's my question regarding these, these, uh, these dangai picks. Uhm, and I'm, this is going out to the, the few women that listen to this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A solicited, so not unsolicited, but you are perhaps attempting to engage romantically with someone, maybe you've met them on the internet, or they're a friend of yours and you're trying to get closer, uh, and you start exchanging rude pictures, uh, when they send you a pic of their dick, are you thinking, mm, yes, mm-hm, yep, excellent, that, that's, that's acceptable, and are you thinking part of you is relieved


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That this is actually just, that'll do. You know, that's a, that's a moderate to decent penis acceptable. And is that in fact a weight off your mind, so that when the, when you do come to, to fuck, there's no sort of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A nice thing to know, that everything's in order, it doesn't, it doesn't look like a banana, you know, it's not got some crazy Tower of Pisa thing going on, it's not misshapen in any way, it's a perfectly acceptable penis. Or, perhaps sometimes you get a picture like, wah wah wee wah, it's like it's a whopper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole thing is so fucking ridiculous. So here's, here's, I've got another question. So at what point in the texting and the conversations, uh, is it clear that the exchange of pictures of body parts is gonna start taking place? Cause you don't wanna just jump in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's not, this is not about some titillation to get you literally to, to wank to their picture. I think it is just an escalation of the, let's, let's start talking about sex now, you know, and it's sort of like, let's send a picture of tits and, and penises and holes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, you know what it comes down to is even famous people with a public image to protect send nudes. Jennifer Lawrence and all those other women sent pictures of themselves to whatever fucking idiots they were having sex with and then the Apple cloud or whatever it was got hacked and they were all out there. So it must, it can't just be a sales pitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the people who take a lot of selfies, they look really good in those pictures. Like, for example, and let's talk about some other members of the Yolkscast here. A lot of people in the Yolkscast, when they're going live, tweet a picture of themselves to say, hey, I'm going live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pictures of their penises or tits to people and people who haven't and the age gap would be, it would be like a brick wall between the two. It would be like, after this age almost never, prior to this age almost definitely, uh, but there'll also be people who were like, thinking, listening to this, they're probably, they might be 19 or 20 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, in the middle of all this, everything's going well, it's looking great, he keeps doing it. He sends more dick pics to this other woman, and of course all that comes out, and now the whole thing falls apart. It's a really, there's a documentary called Weiner, cause his name is Antony Weiner, uh, it was on the, it was on Netflix a while ago, it's really really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Procedure. And it's widespread! I know a lot of people who've done this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, don't swipe left or whatever, you know, as in when you're looking, when they show you a picture, you're not allowed to swipe either way. They're sending each other pictures of their bodies the whole time. It's obviously like, people are disconnected by distance or whatever, and they want to send pictures of themselves to each other to get them horny, and then when they meet up, they have sex and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was like a, uhm, a cartoon television series that starred Goofy and, uh, somehow somebody had decided to have children with Goofy because he has a son named Max in it and, uh, his neighbors, uh, his neighbor is like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's his neighbor like? He's like a keeping up with the Joneses kind of guy. He's like a grumpy middle-aged guy, but he has like the big RV and he's got the nice pool and everything. And his son is friends with Goofy's son and they're called the Goof Troop and they just do everything together. He's a single family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, this was made in the 90s, so it was kind of relevant at the time, like divorce rates were definitely higher than they'd ever been. You know, single moms and single dads were a lot more common than they'd been, especially like in the middle classes, I guess, which is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Goofy and- and Max and his neighbor seem to be, like, middle, upper middle class, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good take, Lewis. The girl from, uh, Goof Troop. It's gotta be. That's gotta be the, one of the contributors to the whole movement, right? I'm gonna look up on Wikipedia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the movie about crumb? Um, it was it, um, there was a movie. It was called crumb. Oh, it was actually called crumb. What was the other one that, that you keep getting confused with thinking that it was about crumb? It was the one. American splendor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it wasn't about crumb, but I always think that it, that it is. I always get like the whole sort of, there's like three or four movies and like two of them are to do with crumb and then two of them are not. But like, uh, I always assume that they're like, I always get them mixed up for some reason. I don't know why. It's like they came out like early 2000s or something and I always get them all mixed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, wasn't he, didn't he do like lots of, uh, like, like he had like a, a drawing style, like he would draw females, but they would always have like, there was, there was quintessential sort of elements to each of his drawings, like they were always big or, but like, yeah, I don't know. It was, I can't remember all of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't know if like I've ever had anything like that happen to me, where like I've been so nervous or so keen to get out of somewhere that I've tripped over something and then had to run away because I was so embarrassed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good to accept that we got, we don't often but we did get something wrong and we've admitted to it and we've said sorry and now we're ready to move on. I think we should do a public apology.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been, uh, browsing the, uh, the Steam Queues, uh, video games again, uhm, and, uh, I've come across a couple of pornographic titles, which again, I'm not, like, uh, thrilled about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but one thing that, uh, one thing that always surprises me about browsing through Steam queues is that it's like, it's kinda like going to a flea market or like a garage sale, right? You're rummaging through title after title after title.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sometimes you just find some gold, right? Like when you're not expecting it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for every one game, there's gotta be a thousand terrible ones on Steam. And some of them, I'm always left thinking to myself, who bothered to do this? Like why, why did they come up with this mediocre idea? Why did they decide to pour time, effort and probably money into?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This mediocre idea, it looks like shit, like it doesn't seem at all interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oftentimes it seems to just be trying to like cash in on some trend or whatever, or sometimes too late, you know, like this is, this is like, you know, sometimes a game comes up five years after that trend has expired or whatever, and you can tell that they just thought


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's time to get in on this one, but it, but then they're too late sort of thing. It's like a minefield. It's crazy. It blows my mind every time. I just feel like a lot of these things, like if a lot of these people just got together and actually made something decent, it would be better than just lots of little shitty games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think in a lot of cases they see their older siblings playing it and they think that this is the thing to play or whatever. Cause kids will just play anything. Like, you put them in front of any game and they will play it. Like, I mean, I was the same when I was a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I got a game for Christmas, that's what I would play. You know, even if it was like Kid Icarus, you know, they were sold out of Final Fantasy and I just got Kid Icarus or something. I'd play it. Like, you know, you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were great games actually, those were really fun. But uhm, yeaah, it's a weird one. But like uhm, like among us, with some of these games, their loops are different, right? Like if they're multiplayer games or competitive games or whatever, like the loops are kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but, well, so Power Wash Sim is actually pretty good. And, uh, and one of those games, it's like, it's just like, you're just like, it's like a painting puzzle, but, you know, it's very satisfying at the same time. And it was just, just kind of chill and enjoyable or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, surprisingly, because it just sounded so dumb, you know, it was one of those games where it was like, oh yeah, here we go, like it's just a dumb sim, like I'll play it for a bit, see what it's like kind of thing. Uh, and then ended up finishing the whole thing, which is, which is pretty good. And then more recently I've been playing Weed Shop 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is, uh, weed shop, weed shop three. Yeah. You have to grow weed and sell weed to a variety of customers and you can sell them bongs and stuff. And it's, it's a bit like crude in, in places and stuff. But again, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's just got these like, these half-decent sort of gaming loops that, that kinda keep you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you have to grow stuff, you have to buy supplies, grow stuff and then sell it to customers and you make profit and you slowly upgrade your shop and it turns into a better shop and you get different customers and stuff and it's all like fairly satisfying. It's a bit grindy or whatever, but it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, but it's, again, it's so simple, like it's such a simple sort of concept for a game. And again, I don't know how so many of these games on Steam can't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't do it, like they get it wrong, like their, their simple ideas for a game loop or concept or whatever just seem so bad. I, I, I don't know, like it's, it's just crazy. It baffles me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not really, the aesthetic is not like for me really, like I can't tolerate it if there's a good story or whatever, but it's not like, it's not enough to sell to me like just based on that, if you know what I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm getting into it at the start, uhm, like, in my mind, I'm thinking, oh, it's almost over, it's almost over, I can't believe, like, this game is so short, you know, but like, you're in, in reality, you're nowhere close to finishing it, sort of thing, but you, you, you're like, oh, I hope it doesn't just end here, like, I hope this isn't the end, sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, I wish, I keep saying this, but I wish that they would, uh, like after you've done the story, and maybe they, they would need to add like some DLC or something for it, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love it if you, if it would just open into like a kind of like, you know, you fix the world a little bit in the game, like with leading up to the story, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it opened up a little bit more into a sandbox where you actually fixed more of the world and just kept doing the deliveries, building stuff up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, little, like little side things could come up or whatever, but really the focus was just like creating good logistics routes and doing deliveries and like building up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the fighting could have just been sacked off entirely, you know, like the, the, the random sort of uhm, what were they called?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been, like I said, I've been playing a lot of like weird stuff lately, which I've actually enjoyed. How long is Subnautica? Have you finished Subnautica now? Yea, I finished the new one in about, I think it was 18 hours? So it's, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the nice thing with that game though is that you, you, there is, there, there's like a sandbox-y element to it where you could, you could really increase that time, uh, if you, if you wanted to spend a lot of time building your base, collecting resources, you know, exploring, there's tons of stuff to explore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you can for sure, yeah. Uhm, so that, that adds a lot of life to the game and probably a little bit of replayability as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the story is very sort of like, once you've done it, like, I don't know if you'd really bother to do it again. Uhm, I don't think there's a lot locked behind the story either. Like, you have to go to different areas to get blueprints for stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you knew all that was going to happen again, but you'd already experienced it. Yeah. I mean, they can never recreate that. I mean, the game takes place on the same planet. It's all the same timeline technology and stuff like that. You know, it's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it's odd, but the aesthetics are just so displeasing to me. Like, I hate how everything looks in the game. I hate that the space stations are just these big cubes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And stuff like, I don't know, there's just so many things that are off-putting about it to me, and it's just impossible for me to get into it. Like every time I've tried, I just find it just so tedious, like I just can't get into it. I don't know, maybe there's just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it's, it's worth it. Honestly, it's, it's good. I enjoyed it. Like I probably went through it a bit too quickly. Like I probably could have done a bit more exploring and stuff, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I was satisfied, like it was pretty good. I didn't dislike it. I don't think it was as good as the first in the sense that like what we said, like the first one had those moments where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It felt magical, like, you know, you just, it was, it was so different, right? Like, I'd never played a game where you have to explore the ocean and stuff. Like, it was just, it was great. And the second game does it very well, as well, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you've played the first one, you know, most of the surprises are like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's weird, it's weird, right? There's certain games that universally everybody just thinks that everybody should like. And then oftentimes, or maybe not even oftentimes, but there's definitely been some times where I've come across a game


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I wouldn't say that's No Man's Sky because I think like No Man's Sky has like a healthy raft of people who just don't like it.


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[Assistant] No, no, but that's like, that's just such a Twitch chat thing, right? Like, if you, like, I imagine that most people come by your stream and see you playing something that's not Dota and say, wow, they changed Dota 2 a lot.


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[Assistant] It's a twitch chat. They just do it all the time for every game.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. Yeah, it's insane. It's hard. It's nuts. I'm due for my second jab pretty soon, actually. Same. I thought I was going to hear from them this week, but I haven't, so I might have to chase them. Say I want my second jab.


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[Assistant] No, funnily enough, a virus that kind of targets like, uh, your respiratory system and stuff doesn't really give much of a shit about all that. It just goes for it, you know? Just says, fuck you. Yeah, it's true.


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[Assistant] It's like driving your car around with no gas. It's, uh, makes sense.


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[Assistant] I can hear the keystrokes of you moving to deliver the hotdogs right now.


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[Assistant] Are you concerned that you're not gonna be, I mean, think about MMOs.


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[Assistant] Quests, if you just started from literally ten years ago, and you've got like four expansions worth of trying to keep people a monthly subscription going, it's massive. They may have the full ten in that game. Oh yea, it's surprisingly big. Everyone's jumped ship from wow after all the blizzard stuff, and everyone's now


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talking about Final Fantasy XIV, it's the hot new MMO. There have been some other ones come out, like New World.


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[Assistant] I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I played it, like, um, during the lockdown, cause I was getting a bit lonely the year ago, and it was on offer for like, I dunno, 95% off or something, so I was like, oh, I'll pick it up. And it had a free month, so I was like, oh, I don't wanna pay it for a month, but no, I didn't renew my subscription.


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[Assistant] To Google's thing, Stadia, for a year, by accident. Oh, nice. And, um, yeah, I just cancelled that this week, but I, I, I, I signed up cause it had Orcs Must Die 3 on it.


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[Assistant] I enjoyed it, yeah. I thought it was pretty good. Yeah, it's got the whole of it now. It's a bit weird, but it's pretty good.


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[Assistant] Well but look at Mark, Mark Hamill got big and chubby, didn't he, before the, uhm, kind of, he got, he got, before the new Star Wars movies, he got, he got fit, he got like, a trainer and stuff. He was quite out of shape, I think, uhm, before the Force Awakens and stuff.


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[Assistant] There's a couple of actors, though, who are kind of like Brendan Fraser, who you would mistake for Brendan Fraser, and, do you know what I mean, in movies? I guess, like, Nathan Fillion and some other people in the industry have got that similar


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[Assistant] Ramesh Ranganathan, I think he's shit. Oh, I like Ramesh, I think he's really funny. He annoys me, uh, I don't think he's very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just- he's just irritating. I also- there's loads of people actually on this list I don't really like. Uh, I don't really think Jason Manford's all that funny. Uh, I don't like- I don't like Ja- I don't really get James A. Castle, I know some people like love him to bits, I dunno, I'm just not a fan. I don't- I really don't like Jack Whitehall. Well, there's a list of these guys.


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[Assistant] I think there's, like, it's all about context, though, right? Like, I think that if you're with a crowd of people, and you're in the right mood, I think we probably would laugh at any of the people we mentioned, given the right setting and mood. Laughter is all about being comfortable, you know.


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[Assistant] I seem to recall watching this with my girlfriend, and she didn't find it funny at all, and it was like really hard. I was like, I was like laughing, but then like, I'd look over and she would not be laughing at all, and she'd be like on her phone rolling her eyes, and I'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there is a formula and there is a science behind it. I think a lot of people do, these comics do study comedy and have to figure out, you know. But also they do a lot of testing. I think that's the other thing, which is really obvious. Any good act that you see has been tested for a year.


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[Assistant] They're like, well, I've got like my hour of material that I'm using and has been very carefully prepared for the next, you know, that's gonna be my touring material for the next year. I'm gonna do it over and over again.


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[Assistant] Do you know what I mean? It's, it's, but I have to make it feel authentic and like I'm telling these jokes for the first time. There's a whole, there's a whole science to it, right? It's meant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome back! So this week, by the way, I thought I'd fill you in on something really interesting that I did. It's a friend's birthday, and we drove a couple of hours into the Cotswolds to this little, like, hobby zoo, it feels like, called Crocodiles in the... Crocodiles of the World. You can look it up.


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[Assistant] Kinda feels like some rich guy or, you know, like kind of, or animal enthusiast set up this sort of, I guess a sanctuary. It's quite small, it's quite, it's quite weird. It's basically a very very hot warehouse. Really hot.


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[Assistant] With loads of crocodiles in it, but they've also got some Galapagos turtles, uhm, tortoises. I can't remember which one it is. Is it tortoises? Yeah, tortoises, yeah. And they're the huge ones. They're like the biggest ones in the world.


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[Assistant] Yeah, do they own one? Cause I do. Yeah, they own one, uh, they've also got a bunch of other reptiles, like a snake and a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so we went here and obviously for his birthday we got him this present which was you get to hang out with the Galapagos turtles and feed them and like, you know, and meet them basically, right? Right. So we get our wellies in and we go and then we have like a safety talk and they're like blah blah blah. It's like you have to wear these steel toe cap wellies because if they step on your foot


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I didn't really know what to expect, uhm, so we go into this little, uhm, sort of enclosure they've got for them, and immediately these giant turtles, like, they're, you know, they're very big, like, they're huge. I've got to post a picture later, uhm, on Instagram, but uhm, they're huge. They came


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess not tickled, but they, the, um, the finches that come down and like, um, nip off the dead skin and the bugs and stuff land on them. They like all the little animals surrounding them, basically. And it's obviously just, it's called finching the behaviour. And they just stand there, like, so they're so docile, and you can like...


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[Assistant] It's kind of, kind of sad in the sense that they're, obviously it's very, anytime you go to anywhere, it's always tinged with sadness that these fucking animals die now or these, these, these fish are being choked by


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And these turtles are obviously very endangered, but you can see why, and it's because they're so trusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They didn't even know how old he was. They said 80 to 100 years, uhm, or more. It could be older. Because when they pick them up off the Galapagos, they don't know how old they are. And it's been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if it's a hundred years old, you know, no one's checking. They weren't breeding them back in, you know, the 1920s for us to know. So it's, it's really, it's kind of interesting to see animals that are...


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[Assistant] But man, it's just so cool, it was so cool meeting this girl, I had a really great time, I didn't think I would be as endeared to it as I was, but I think I was just surprised by how


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't give a fuck, um, and was just like really friendly. So cause you, you, I think like you understand that with domesticated animals, they've been trained to, to behave a certain way. But this clearly isn't that, you know, it's a wild animal, but his behavior, I guess, is not through his reaction to humans. It's more through natural reaction of, I'm the biggest thing on this island.


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[Assistant] Uhm, there was this book I was reading, it was written in I think 1963 or something like that. And obviously they hadn't sent the probes up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was Voyager or something, one of the missions in the 70s, early 70s that saw that there definitely weren't Martians. But up until that point, I guess that it was just in the popular consciousness that it was, it was the easiest way to describe aliens as Martians, you know, write this whole story about people coming from Mars.


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[Assistant] A lot shorter these old sci-fi and horror books than the modern books. You read a Brandon Sanderson book, it's like...


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[Assistant] Anyway, I had that to say. The other thing I was thinking about was, uh,


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[Assistant] Uhm, it's just a big smiley face, it's just pictures, you know, it's like, I don't know, it's, it's, it's very, it's a mark from a more innocent time, is what I'm saying, you know?


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[Assistant] And I just, I know some people like the more, the more titillating thing where they don't see anything, do you know what I mean? And it's like, it's hotter for them to have all the clothes on type thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I just, I just, I just, for some reason, you talking about Zooey Deschanel, because she was that girl next door, she had a classic, she had that sort of innocent, cutesy look about her, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and she was in the romantic comedy as that, you know, that girlfriend material, and I think being what, however old she is, 40, 41 or 42 I think now, it's, it's like around the age that is, you know, that's like, that's like our generation.


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[Assistant] Hey, on, uh, over here on Monday, no more masks, baby, we don't even need to wear them anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to wear a mask anymore on Monday, which is, uh, which is really good timing because I'm getting my second jab on, uh, on Friday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When surgeons use those masks, uhm, they wear them once. Like uhm, I don't think they're designed to be worn for like 10 hours at a time and then washed, you know what I mean? Like, I think you gotta wear one like, you know, maybe like one for an hour or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what I breathed in in one day. No, so I'm gonna stop you there. In my local paper, there was a really interesting article submitted by a reader of the paper who said that this is simply just a natural warming cycle of the earth. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] That's too close to home for me, but uhm.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I'm glad that things are relaxing. I'm glad that people are thinking about getting back to normal and stuff. But uhm, I'm also interested in some stuff I've been reading about people not wanting to go back to work in offices and stuff. We discussed this at length before. We all know how we feel about working in offices.


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[Assistant] It feels like there's almost like a mini revolution now. People are like, no, I don't wanna go back. I don't wanna have to deal with you people anymore.


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[Assistant] Like the weird silo power builders and stuff like that. Like they're the only ones that want to go back because that's their whole life. They're so sad. But most normal people who have a life don't want to be around those people all the time. So I say keep them home. If you can work remotely, why the hell not? Like it's a lot better for everything. It is. Yup. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's something to be said for people who do the same job for too long as well, right? There's definitely some complacency, there's probably a little bit of resent, maybe some bitterness, like I'm not targeting older people or whatever, but there's certain people that have been in their jobs way too long and need to change up.


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[Assistant] Yeah, what a show. Man, what a show. Uhm, I don't know if you guys have, you guys probably haven't really watched any of that stuff. Casualty especially since the lockdown, since the pandemic.


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[Assistant] They've been filming throughout. It's been not like as regular as it normally would be. But one thing that we've noticed in Casualty is that none of the actors are within two feet of each other like ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, uhm, I think they've been like, uh, like close up recording like people kissing like their loved ones and then they sort of like cut that in like to the, to the kissing scene. Oh man. Yeah, yeah. Cause like, well I guess, you know, they gotta, they don't want to get the, uh, the rona, right? So they have to like do distancing.


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[Assistant] I would have thought so. I mean, it's probably not like that now because of like the easing of restrictions and whatnot. And, uh, you know, people getting vaccinated and everything, but for a while, like it was, it was kind of noticeable. It was pretty funny. I mean, I guess they had to or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was good. It might have just been old, like, you know, stuff that was recorded early on, sort of thing.


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[Assistant] That's just only now being aired, like after it's been edited or cut up, but it was interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever have those lapses of, like, you know when you kinda go on autopilot, like, uh, you know, sometimes you just put your, like, toothpaste on your hairbrush and stuff like that, you know, like the things you do every day, you get used to doing them, sometimes you like mess them up because it's just like your brain's not paying attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever do that one where you get into the shower but you've forgotten to turn it on and like warm it up for a couple of seconds before you get in and you have to then turn the shower on while you're in it and the first like two seconds is like super cold water and it's annoying? Do you ever get that? No? No, I always turn it on first. You always do it first, you never forget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got some potatoes growing now. They actually, the shoots have come through. They burst through the, uh, the earth at the top of the, uh, at the top of the buckets. And it looks like all four seedlings are now going to make me a whole bunch of potatoes, which is exciting. My kids were super excited too. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I got big, like, uh, I got two big 40L buckets.


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[Assistant] I filled them up with uh, with compost, like I put like maybe like uhm, a couple of inches of compost at the bottom, put the seedlings in like where like the uh, the little like, you know, seedling bits are like face up, uhm, and then I covered the rest in compost and then just watered it every day for like two weeks and now


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boom. It's uh, it's all growing. It's getting there. Man, you should see the stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've had the same with, uh, strawberries. Like, uh, I-I planted a whole bunch of new stuff in a, uh, in a pot that had strawberries in it last year. And, uhm, the new stuff has not grown and we now just have more strawberries. Like, all- they've just regrown, like, tons of them.


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[Assistant] 22, Coventry Lane, um, west. That's what I told him. West, uh, Bishop's Gate, uh, Lisa. No, sorry, we can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think countries are dealing with this differently though. I think that like in the Netherlands and like Finland and Norway, uh, they've pledged something like, you know, 500 per child or in some cases more. It's like 1,250 pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pro child to get people caught up on the education that they missed out on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should just cut some stuff. Like, I learned Latin for a year, I don't think I need to do that. On the scale of this, where all these European countries are spending all this money on children and stuff, the UK came in at the bottom with a pledge of £50 per child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It escalates to the point where then they get killed. Or, it's usually, it's usually they, they prey on people who are weak, who have like, you know, vices, like gambling addictions, shit like that, that always need money. Uhm, and, uh, and- Or on geographic.


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[Assistant] It's a, it's a loose end, right? It's somebody that knows a bit about how they operate, who they are, what they, who they're affiliated with and stuff. And they just have to get rid of them because they could potentially spill the beans on them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's just, don't borrow money from them and then you probably won't be really affected by them. Uh, indirectly you might be, there's a lot, they still have their hands in a lot of pies. Like, uh, surprisingly to this day, it's crazy, but, um, but yeah, direct involvement. If you can avoid it, you'll, you probably won't get killed by the mafia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did a Jurassic World challenge with Lewis one time and Lewis can probably tell you that I'm pretty good at actually making terrains out of handmade beach out of like breadcrumbs and uhm, some grass out of uhm, some marzipan and stuff. Like, I was on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I know, like, just the thought of Saturday night, right? Like, the mystical Saturday night that everybody loves so much. I mean, it means different things to different people, I guess, but like, uhm.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's true actually. Not so much now. I don't know if you've ever watched Saturday Night TV recently. It's pretty bad. Honorable mentions to Soul Brother number one. Also quite a good title. Mr. Dynamite as well. Come on. I mean Mr. Dynamite. Mr. Saturday Night. They're all good ones.


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[Assistant] I feel like the machine could be like, it could deprecate though, right? Like what if you were nicknamed the machine like in the 1920s?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mr. Saturday Night TikTok or something like that, you know, like you can, you can make some modern ones that, that means something nowadays. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I mean if you're saying Mr. Saturday Night and you're thinking of like Saturday Night TV now, I mean that sucks. You might as well just be called Mr. Sucks, like that stinks. But if you're Mr. Saturday Night,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In, uh, in the context of fun things to do on Saturday night. I don't know what people do for fun on Saturday nights now. I mean, I gave up having fun years ago, so like, I'm not in the know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go to like poetry recitals and stuff or is that, I guess that happened a long time ago too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, this leads onto an interesting topic, one that's relevant for me right now. In the spirit of just doing it, uh, my son is learning how to play the saxophone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, at school, you know, they have like, uh, they don't have a set music class. I remember when I was young, we actually had music class. You went to music class and if you wanted to hire a instrument,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which a lot of people did, but like I never did. My parents weren't into skiing and like, you know, just to send me


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My son doesn't have a full class. It's just like, it's, it's, it's private, uh, tuition, uh, tutorage, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like uhm, I don't know, like I always feel like if, if my son wants to do something, I always make sure that he, he does it, you know, like I support him in doing it because I feel like the more stuff he's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, sort of like exposed to like, you know, music or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a chance of something sticking, you know what I mean? Rather than him just growing up and not being interested in anything and not wanting to do anything and, and that being off the back of me being like, oh no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not gonna stick with that, so I'm not gonna send you on that or spend the money or whatever. I always feel like it's always worth just sending them on anything they feel like doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, their dads were super into football. So they were super into football and they were really good stuff. My son was not into football. I'm not really into football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't have any football skills or whatever, but he enjoyed it. Like he just ran around or whatever and like, you know, tried his best. And then, you know, after a couple of weeks, he's just like, nah, I don't really feel like going anymore. And it's like, yeah, fine. I mean, whatever. Like you tried it out. Like, you know, it might've been something you liked or not. Like it doesn't matter. Like as long as you had fun, he's like, oh yeah, I had fun. So, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. You know what would be so good though? Like imagine you were really good at like playing the bass and your daughter just starts playing cello and you just come out slapping that bass like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but again, like, you will naturally just do the things that your parents do, but at a certain point you'll branch off from that and want to just do your own things, right? There's a good example in, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The notorious B.I.G. actually, uhm, coming back to what you were saying about you being like the leader of sort of, you know, what, you know, if I was doing something similar,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, he was just his mom, he lived with his mom. His mom like listened to a bit of music, but not much music or whatever, like certainly nothing to like really catapult him into being interested in music and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He befriended this guy who is this local jazz musician.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Opposite though, right? If my dad wants me to do this, I'm not gonna do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, I mean, I can imagine, right? It's probably not what you'd expect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know about you guys, but I feel like everything that I've done that's been worth doing in my life, I haven't thought about it much and I haven't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've tried very hard for it either. Like uhm, like things that I've thought about and tried to do, I've, I've 100% of the time given up and walked away from. Like, just thought, ugh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do hear about it, yea, but I think for me specifically, like, I just like, if I'm not living it, I'm not doing it, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I've sort of come to, like, I never feel bad for not completing stuff because like, especially the older I get, I look at it as like more of an experience rather than like a start to finish thing, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd happily send it to them, cause I am definitely done with it, so they can have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard that it's really good. Like, I've heard that people who like, who have liked Dishonored, the game Dishonored, have really enjoyed it. And this is by the people who made Dishonored. It's not the same game, obviously, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't picked it up. I mean, that doesn't mean necessarily- But reviewer reviews are great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't picked it up and I'm not gonna pick it up until I'm sure I'm gonna play it because I've just, I've acquired too many games that I've never played that I've spent money on and I just think like, why have I, why did I buy that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, nah that's, it was yest- it was yesterday, and it fucking owns. Uhm, and I'm not even being-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really good. No, I wasn't. It's really good. It's like a, it's like a, it's like painting. You feel like you're like Bob Ross or something. You just, you're cleaning all the grime off of, uh, all these different cars. Was it cold? It's called power wash simulator. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except, I think this comes back to, we're different, we're different types of gamers, right? I think you're more of a habitual gamer than I am. You, you, you, you have, you have a roster of games that you will play, uhm, regularly. Right. Like Dota, like Tarkov, like CSGO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's, I think it's a nice, nice thing to be able to do though as well, because, I don't know, like, uh, it's fun as...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As, as fun as it is being into something and I've always wanted to like be more into like one specific thing, I'm kind of glad that I'm not, you know, because I feel like a lot of things


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially when they're around for too long, they just get worse, right? Like, you look at your, like, you know, World of Warcraft and all these things. Like, if I'd still been playing that game, would I be happy still playing it? Like, I don't think so. Like, I'm glad I gave up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's probably some element of that, uh, you know, like I don't think you're crazy for thinking that generally because I think there, there, there probably is one or two, you know, in there amongst a hundred others where that maybe is the case. Cause it's like, it does stuff like that kind of does happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you also get people who uhm, I don't know if you've had this before, like, I've certainly had this before, and I don't mind it or anything, it's fine, but like, people who donate uhm, you know, to your channel while you're streaming, or whatever,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, to try to like, almost like, raise their profile, cause they, they stream as well, but maybe they're just starting to stream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I think it's just one of those things, right? I think it's, it's, it's a different like landscape, right? And, and, and particularly like, well, Flax, you, you've always sort of streamed even before you met Lewis and stuff, but like, I never did any of this stuff before Lewis to ask me to, to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How I feel about Hideo Kojima is please just open up Death Stranding to be a parcel delivering, uh, sandbox, like once you finish the game. You know, like, let's get some updates where I can just deliver more parcels to more places and fix more stuff up. He's not gonna do that. I would play that game a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's when you go back over to like, uhm, you know, cookie clicker or whatever. You just, you take a couple of months off and then you come back to the uh, to the Sunshine game. Come back when it's summer for vampires. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put together your fan design document for an open-ended sandbox parcel delivery add-on for Death Stranding during the downtime, you know? And then when the sun comes back, boom, you're back onto the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a gameplay loop leading into a bigger payoff, I think it's great. And the way that they've done it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another great idea for a game as well that I wish they would make. I wish they would make a game in the Star Wars universe where you weren't the hero. You weren't at all a hero, okay? You work on some shitty Tatooine-like planet where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a scrapyard of all the old starfighters and shit that just barely made it back from like the old wars and stuff.


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[Assistant] And you've just, you basically are just following a recipe that millions of other people have as well, right? Like you're getting more or less the same experience, like with a couple of little differences between whether you play with friends or not or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, prescribed way to play the game, if you like. It means that they can, you know, all these people can print fucking.


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[Assistant] Man, my daughter plays it now, like, she's five, she's never showed any interest in video games, like whatsoever, ever, and now her and my son play it together, split screen, like on the Switch or whatever, and she loves it, it's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take your fancy clothes and your silk underwear. Go back to Disneyland.


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[Assistant] Listen to this, Flax, uh, Bloodsport, Delta Force 2, American Ninja 3, Cyborg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't let me play any music, well now I'm playing every music. He's got, he's, I'm seriously, I think he has like a hip hop album, like everything, like he's done, he's lots and lots of different music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey listen to this, there is a controversy involving Steven Seagal in relation to Jean-Claude Van Damme, would you like to hear more about it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 2008, actor Sylvester Stallone declared to the British magazine FHM that, at a party in my home in Miami in 1997, Van Damme was tired of Steven Seagal claiming he could kick his ass


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he offered Seagal outside into my backyard, according to Stallone.


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[Assistant] Flax, I just want to point out to you that uhm, sorry to derail this once again and talk about Van Damme, but he is still actively making movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, uh, he's searching for a distributor and an editor for a film to be announced, uh, titled Frenchie. So.


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[Assistant] Was it the 2017 direct to video, kick em all?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, I know, his name is Jean-Claude-Camille-Francois-Van-Verenberg.


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[Assistant] Kickboxer Retaliations, that's a thing apparently. Kickboxer Vengeance, Kung Fu Panda 3. I think he was in all the Kung Fu Pandas by the looks of it. Universal Soldier, I remember. The Expendables. The Expendables was the sort of, uh, the whole slew of 80s action guys, right? Bruce Willis.


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[Assistant] And look at this picture of him, his eyes are so fucking red, like he's probably damaged his eyes beyond repair from doing that as well.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was like, I didn't even know those things were around anymore, you know? We're full of the joys of nature, the earth is healing.


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[Assistant] It's nice to have a bit of sunshine on the pavement and just see, I dunno, it's good, isn't it? It feels good. It does feel great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're feeling good, good, like, positive, um, endorphins, stuff, like, so, coming through. They always say, like, exercise, and, what do they say, like, just ticking things off, doing things. Chocolate, chocolate's really good for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's right. It's all good, it's all good. I'm just feeling some good energy. It's been tough, I think. It's been a weird


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very soon, I'm sure. British summertime. You gotta make the most of it. Well, we don't get much of it. I just feel like I'm the same, like I've said this before, but I feel like I've, I feel like for a long time I've just been waiting in an airport, I don't know, during that boring, like, just passing time, like. Yeah. Like, don't wanna get your book out, cause it's like, ugh. You don't wanna commit to anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, something else, something better might come along. I think that's just how I've, just my general psyche has been in that, waiting in an airport phase, even though like, it's not like I would go away that often or even do that much of it, it's just knowing that I can't. I dunno, it's just like, I just feel...


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[Assistant] England is a big audience for Eurovision, right? We're a big sponsor. We kind of don't have to qualify. We just get put through because we give them money. You know, it's like most people sing in English, you know, it's still, but getting the, oh, it was so, so juicy. I just, I just loved it. Oh, so no.


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[Assistant] It was a, it was a night of madness, you know, you can tell there's gonna be some folky old, so Eastern Bloc countries are gonna do some folks, classic folk songs in a dance style, right? It's almost like you can get a bingo card to


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[Assistant] It's quite morbid as well, sort of generally sounding. It's quite sort of one of those very, I don't know, semi-depressing sort of ideas. You always hear it in Eurovision because they think that it will conjure up some sort of patriotic


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone's trying to game it though, right, because like, of course what you get is you get things that are pop, like, when something wins, the next year people do a similar thing, right, because they think, oh well that's one, we can do well if we, you know, we could potentially win again if we-


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[Assistant] They said a song called Earland Doos Point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is the plot of the Eurovision movie, as well, uhm, in Iceland, because like, part of the plot is that they don't, they, they, if they, if they, if they win and have to host in Iceland, it'll bankrupt the country, that's the idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of it, but it makes a lot of sense. I guess there's a lot of, Eurovision has been, I don't know, it's been going a long time. It's got this kind of campy sort of, it's almost like a sort of gay icon as well. It's very, very inclusive in terms of like, gender and also like, just everything. It's just super inclusive.


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[Assistant] And, like, really just nice. And it doesn't really matter, like, no one really, like, didn't vote for Israel or whatever because of what's going on.


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[Assistant] Doesn't feel like that, but, I dunno, the whole contest, like, was just full of little bits of joy. Like, like you said, like, seeing the guy...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I just loved that. Like I was just like fully believed it at the time. It just made the drama so much more. Agreed. They had like a couple of, um, stage sort of, last year remember they had people invaded the stage a couple times. There's always this stuff happening. It's just so- It's bonkers. It's so cool. It's just so-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I recommend you get through it, cause it is actually worth, it's just worth, it's not a good movie. This is the one with Will Ferrell. Yes.