[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never. And I think they want that though, right? They want the engagement, they want to see your vacation, they want to like, see you beating off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This dude was in a whole other stratosphere, and it's crazy to me that nobody goes, okay, Bill Russell. Now obviously, like, athletically things progress, right? But everyone's a product of their era, and in his era,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you do that? I mean, it's like when you direct an act, we're in awe of you, Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did, but later in, um, Bill Russell's career, he also coached, like, wow players.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looks like he, when he would show up and give the MVP award. Or no, he would give the championship award.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. I mean, he looks like just a fucking cool-ass wizard when his hair got hella white. And he's like seven feet tall. Like, you don't live that long and be seven feet tall. That's wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet you could find a YouTube video of Bill Russell laughing. He's constantly on the stage just like full body laughs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's too hot. It's too hot now. If you keep them in your fridge, keep them in your fridge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just gonna let that land. Real quick though, Kyle, did you guys ever take the like cup wrapper, like the black cup wrapper, and then you like apply it to your teeth and from far away it looks like you got no teeth?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Theranos is a game changer, it's gonna change everything in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tonight on episode 101, Kyle says things, I guess?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I heard- I didn't watch Cruella and I heard it was not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, wait, one second. What? Yes, that's, how else do you think we get fur coats?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, it is a cartoon. What's the one I- Yes, okay, it's like the idea of a penis for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he's backing up away from the tiger and he says, all good teenagers, take off your clothes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I thought. Okay, here are my hands. Okay, good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember that he gets to her balcony on his magic carpet and she has like a pet guard tiger. That's right. Oh yea, that's Roger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and he's backing away going, all good teenagers, take off your clothes. And then she's like, Raja, no! And like, calls the tiger back. Uhm, and then I distinctly remember them, fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went over to some girl's house and they were like, you have to see this. And they played that exact clip to be like, did you see that? He said, I'll go dinner, take off your clothes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And who knows, maybe this was their like, their door in to like, necking. Man, necking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Uh, what's the closest they have come to that? Besides like the video. Oh, and we lost Blazer. Who cares? Moving on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like what's, I mean, cause these movies these days are like sad, right? They'll be like a parent or like a divorce or something going on that makes like the opening first act of the movie very sad, so you care. But there's nothing very like terrifying like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think it's a movie by movie basis, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the whole point. This is where I'm, I don't understand. And by the way, now the whole thing with Cruella is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In that movie, it was like, her backstory as to why she was so cruel. Like, explaining why people are evil in a movie and it's like, alright, but like, let's just, for the sake of having a 90 minute movie, maybe not get into the whole backstory of a bad, like an evil person. Yeah, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, I'm always kind of offended that she's like, I need another black and white fur coat. Like, okay, like, this is a bad person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I'm just kidding. Oh, chompers. Great joke. God, they were like, let's make her despicable. Let's give her like, yellow teeth. She's smokin' that long cigar thing, or cigarette thing. Yup. Yeah, we're still talkin' about Cruella, pal. Welcome back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been around it until, uh, Sarah, uhm, at Wargaholics, on the writing staff, would get them and have it, just would have to go peace out into her office and like lay down in the dark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have deeper voices, right? If your balls are bigger your voice is deeper, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you Belvedere yourself, do people know what that means? Yeah, Belvedere. I know what that means. I guess Mr. Belvedere, the actor, like would sit on his balls all the time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know what it was, but yea, he was like a nanny that was a man, which was like a whole new thing. Adam, you're kind of like, he paved the way for you on Modern Family, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like the baseball announcer guy. Oh, it's, it's Bob Euker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, by the way, like, I don't know. Look at this dude. By the way, what a cool grandpa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He played, uhm, he played professional baseball, and he's a current sportscaster and comedian, yea. Oh yea, he was, it's the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well anyway, he's on Mr. Belvedere and he just plays like a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He apparently, the actor who played Mr. Belvedere would often sit on his own balls and be like, aah! And then he would have to cancel. So they called him Mr. Belvedere. Already fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we in the same improv class when that dude showed up in short khaki shorts and his no underwear and his balls were just hanging out. He's one of the teachers for like a moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna say it was the guy who played the janitor on Scrubs. He like, John Candy told me about this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't do that. John Candy. I don't know if it was this guy, but it was a guy exactly like this guy. Uhm, like he might have, the guy I'm talking about might have been the guy who like lost every role to Neil Flynn, whose dick was not out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What an effort, they're like, and after the documentary, dude, I'm gonna be like the star of the next Avatar, and everyone's still like, fucking, it's the guy from Serial Mom who, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That. Who the hell is that? Uhm, yeaah. Well, Stephen Tobolowski has been like- Who's that? He's from, like, Sneakers. He's the guy who's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so good. River Phoenix, Sidney Poitier, Dan Aykroyd, like, come on. God damn. Stacked. Come on. Ben Kingsley. Fucking Kingsley. This is Seegers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should watch it, it's, it holds up, it's super good. It's about like hackers, it basically it's about a team of people who are hired by uhm, like a company to see if their security is up to snuff because they're the guys who can break in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, that's not what I meant! I'm joking about the sneakers, but when they are sneaking? Oooooh, they are sneaky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should check it out. It's got an all-star cast, it's very smart, uhm, it's cool. It's a fucking, I don't know, would I say it's a classic? You would, you would. I think it's an underground classic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just call me Mr. Tan, and this dude in the dead of winter was straight leathery. And it was like his whole thing, like his whole identity was wrapped up in his skin cancer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a bunch of substitute teachers. We had a guy who played in the NFL who like just took the whole class to tell us what it was like to be in the NFL. And he was like, dude, I remember my first game, I got laid the fuck out and I was like, I gotta quit this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. That's a trip. That's cool. I like, I like when people do that. We had a bunch of the, we had a bunch of ex- wild kids, uh, that taught at our school. And they-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Substitute teacher? I don't know, but like to get a- you need like a teaching credential. Well, now I don't know about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, and I think maybe even to like get insurance coverage probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, so you're poise- at the same time, you're poisoning teachers to get jobs. You're hitting teachers with cars to get work. Sure, sure. Have you seen the movie? You're taking them out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, people were getting murdered, right? Or like, or left for dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be tight. Wait, how do we feel about the, the like netting? How do you guys feel about the netting that should or should not be put up alongside so like babies aren't getting beamed by line drives?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you can't, you can't protect yourself. It's, it's impossible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what I'm telling you is that on top of that responsibility, you can't. It's coming at you at 120 miles an hour and your reaction time-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, did anybody reach out to you to get you to stay on the team?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad wasn't a coach, but for sure, yea. Who, you? Did you play baseball? No, I did another sport. What sport?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, your name's hard to remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did the com- I did the comedy show, I was on the swim team, I smoke weed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm kinda like, put up, put up, put up some nets. Baseball stadiums are just bars with a thing happening in the middle of it. Okay Kyle, wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kyle, think about all the people who've had like, fucking damage done to their craniums, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I will say, Blake, to Blake's point, if I may, to Blake's point, if uhm, if it's difficult for you to get an abortion in the state you live in, you can just, it's a little more expensive, but go sit courtside at an NBA game and just kind of sit with your belly out and they'll get it. They'll give you a little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is the second week in a row that Adam is just doing lines from the movie that we're hoping to save.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you'll find the love again because everyone whose dad got them to play like whatever position, the dads are dead now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A weird underdog team that wins a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, what's up? I'm Sexy Jean Simmons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guess what, Kyle? No. Tag me in, brother. The Rockers, we're back. Dude, come on, baby. Alright. We're back, baby. What are they doing to you? Are you guys picking on me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Animals or nature? No, nature's not animals. That's exactly- Animals are strong. I know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a cat and dog, but it was narrated by like British people. Like they're like, Milo, we gotta go, we gotta go to, to the mom's house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Michael J. Fox as a dog? Is that Homeward Bound? Benji, Benji Goes West? Uh, I don't know. Remember when Rodney Dangerfield was the animated dog? What was that one called? I don't know. And we're back!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm actually gonna, I'm gonna pull up to a farm in, uh, on the 15th of October. I'm very excited. I've never been to one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was chillin'. I thought it was at five o'clock. That's my bad. It's all good. But my streak continues. I still haven't missed a pod. I'm here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, so did you guys, like- What? Kyle, did you fill us in? Did you talk- Can we talk about Emmys two months later? Let's talk about-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, really fucking just put you- he's like, get in the game though, I don't wanna hear it brother, this is pickleball, this is war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kept everything real tight. Ooh, so you were looking extra fit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More than an x-ray or what? Yes. You have to buy tickets? What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're just taking food off people's plates? What's going on here, man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, Matt's- No, I met him at Comic Con, he's sick as fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, could be. And Durr's got the short end of the stick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, dude. He really wanted to meet you, bro. Well, he did already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's this jet lag? No time for me! Water trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it was the introducer, maybe it was the fact that it was like the agent and it kinda started to feel not personal and he wanted to meet you. Oh, maybe. Personal level. That could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, was that a fucking cheap shot, bro? No, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I will be fighting Pete Davidson next month in the ring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet you can guess. You don't have your wizard shit. What are you gonna be?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of cool. Is it costume, costume wedding? I've seen that before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's an essential holiday. Kyle, you can have a costume Halloween wedding if you are one of those


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, thank you. I want the cool deep cut horror.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy who basically looks like Bam Bam Bigelow, he's just like skull tatted. No dude, I'm talking like they're like makeup artists in the industry and like all their friends come


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bro, I know, I just, I'd never heard that term before. We just called it the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, strangle my nuts, I just wanna feel something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, I was like, I don't think Foo Fighters are on the crow, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their bodies are insane. No, but he's just saying like, from the perspective of hot, no gender, no nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole thing. God, nothing but organs and muscles, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely better televised because I've been to a few swim meets in my day. I come from a line of swimmers. My mother and father swam. Kyle, please talk about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad played hella water polo, man. My dad was a water polo dude. So yeaah. Swimming is better televised than it is in person, because in person it's very hard to know what the f- you can't see. You can't see what's going on. You can't tell, you're not- Right, it's kind of an underwater sport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well I guess that just proves he was working hard out there. He was working fucking hard. That's what it sounds like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get your ass to the triathlon, bro. Get it. I will be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. What's his name? Hmm. Let's see here. Let me do a little Google search.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Individual medley, right? That's what it is? Yeaah. That's where you're doing all the, all four strokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah? Anders, what is the order of the IM? What is the order of it? Is it, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, you guys, hey, you do need to check out this fucking Toomey ad. It's un-fucking-real. It's got like, it's got people parkour-ing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, Toomey, Toomey has released this new luggage that's like black and neon green and this shit is just so cool. But the commercial- Oh cool man, what the colors? The colors are cool? Has people parkouring, they are parkouring with roller bags. It's epic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You never did the vault? No. No, we had to do that. We had to do this. Yes, absolutely we did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you'd run and fuck around with it. Yeah, we had to do gymnastics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, Blake, we would drag it out of the closet and we would set it up and then we would do it. Drag what out of the closet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's wrestling, dude. Well that's wrestling, that's wrestling, Claire. You're in a completely different place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been flexible. I could never do the splits. I always want to. My brother could do the splits. Why did you want to? What do you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you had to do like 100 yard dashes and stuff too. I think all the running you had to get in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what is that? Three flies up as you catch three balls and then you get to be the guy who throws it. Yeah, you'd throw it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you guys play tetherball? I loved playing tetherball. Oh, what the fuck were the rules of tetherball? No one knew. Well, there was different ones. You just had to knock it to, to what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could play, you could play different with other people. There were different sets of rules.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys remember, do you remember bottlecapping?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, buddy, yeah, you know it. How, what, at the top of what? You would, you could catch the ball, grab it, and fucking throw it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's cheating if you're both on the same playing field. If you have a discussion beforehand and you say, are ropeys allowed? Okay, ropeys are allowed. Bottle caps? Fair enough. Bottle caps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, touch zones. You know what we used to use for our safe zones in those games was like juniper bushes. So you would just jump as hard as you could into the fucking juniper bushes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, butts up was a good one dude. Is that like wayo? No, butts up is great. Butts up. That's just dodge ball with kids bending over. Butts up is handball. It's handball where if you miss you have to go put, you have to put your hands on the wall and then people get to throw the tennis balls at your butt. If you miss, if you miss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fingers crossed. Did you have to pull your pants down? I don't remember pulling my pants down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, wow, way to walk back in apology. There's asterisks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I know what you're talking about, Durz, where there is like an arrow like hidden between like the X and the F or something. In FedEx.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like to think there's huge business meetings where they completely derail what's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sweet deal. That's weird, they're getting a ton of magazine, magazine subscriptions. What the fuck is happening? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think just due to the fact that I don't run it enough, it kinda like, you know, broke it in that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, and remember like, they would sell a grill pack, I think it was like 10 bucks, and you got quite a few items. But I recall getting major, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a real firing squad today, man. Watch yourself, dude. It's hot. It's hot today. Kyle, are you saying that actually like no one worked there except for like a guard at the door? I can't. I'm fairly positive there was like three employees. And they were stoned. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You missed the era. Let's talk about a local bar that nobody knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well when we were cruising around Vancouver, the most popular pizza chain is Boston Pizza.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it's like their sports bar pizza joint, and we were always like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know who has the best pizza undercover? No, who, Blake? Tell us. Low-key.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Motherfucking Detroit, baby. Detroit has THE BEST. Well, it's a certain style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] St. Louis, baby. St. Louis has a style. St. Louis has like a really thin cracker crush style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Inflation, I feel like, is an economic response. It's when prices of, you know, of goods...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like to think that if this was, uh, the president giving a speech and then, uh, one of his cabinet members is off to the side going,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After letting them sit in their room and think about it for an hour, then it's the little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they turned it on. They were giving each other haircuts on your seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, dude, their tails get tied together and it forms like one thing like a rat because their tails are all together tied together in a ball. I'm serious, look up a rat king, it's when all the tails tie together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like rat tails was right when, uh, peop- like dudes were starting to get, uh, earrings as well. That was kinda like co- I was wearing a necklace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, the starter jackets were so fucking- every team was sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was probably the toughest. Plus, the Raiders are silver and black. They're like the coolest colors. Hard, hard to compete. Although, like, the Hurricanes, uh, Starter Jacket? Or the Dolphins?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, I kind of feel like, I don't know, like now like, the louder the better as far as like color schemes go, but back then we were just kind of like, yeaah, I guess following like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'll take, I will, uh, apologize to Cincinnati Red fans. I took a low blow shot there. Your squad is better than my Oakland Hays, so I'll give you that. But I would love a take back from you guys about, uh, Rat Kings because everything I said was factual, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was my favorite. He was my favorite, dude. He is a great character that is grossly underused.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was an earthquake. Everyone in California died except for us. Your mother's dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Albuquerque pizza. It's cuttin' circles within the circles! St. Louis, baby!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, our principal was a huge Buffalo Bills fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This Is Important?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, where'd you go? Were you hitting 10k again? What's happening?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Just pinching it? Talk about a back to back. Yo, you wanna slam down and mash it? Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a, like a, not a barbell, or I guess it could be whatever, but yea, through like the urethra on the bottom tip part. That's so cool that you can pull that off. Oh my. I believe, right? I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a pair of these Adidas a couple years ago, maybe last year, that are like a tribute to punk in Germany, punk music, like the punk movement, and they come with a Prince Albert, uh, like roped into the laces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what a move. Congratulations Adidas for putting a cock piercing on a shoe. Oh no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then I guess I won't see you on Mash It Down Monday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys heard of nudicles? Where like they, when they neuter a dog and they take its balls, they offer like fake balls that you can put in there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See Kyle, this is why we're friends. Everyone's like, why? Everyone says, why would you be friends with him? And I go, you don't understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once every two years, he says something like this. And then I go, there you go. It's my guy. Four. Dude. This is my guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, go with a quadra. By the way, that's like, that's the best prank for Mother's Day. You're like, hey honey, let's, let's do it tonight. And then she's like, what the, I think you have, and you go, what? There's something, and you're like, I don't know, what do you mean? You didn't feel this? There's like a huge ball in here. Huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guess what? Hey, you tell me. Maybe three? Check it out. No, feel and then count one. Yep, that's one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's where it gets interesting. She's like, wait a sec, is that like a little one? Is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it next to a lovesack store or was it a futon gallery or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember looking at those and going, I could never afford that. And they were just like $160 of like hard plastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's what Blake made it seem like. You're telling me that right now with the supply chain, the 50? Yes, this is the supply.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I said that. Yeah, you nailed it. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I thought, you know who told me we should do some shots of tequilas? Your boy Greg. Your boy Greg's over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gave me a bed, Ders? I got a bed from you? I gave you a mattress, remember? And like the corner, something happened with the corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, uh, when I moved to LA, my folks gave me a thousand bucks to get furniture and I got a three hundred dollar, um, uh, mattress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a $400 IKEA couch. I think the mattress was $1,800 mattress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Ikea couch for $400 or $399, the Ektorp.


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[Assistant] You had to turn your headphones all the way up and just damage your ears and to kind of hear and like hold your ears. The dark night, the dark night talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What did he have? The Tim Robbins, Jamie Foxx one? He had them all.


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[Assistant] I got a stack of twelve out that I'm intending to watch, but the stack's been there for a year, probably. Damn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, uh. Did we already talk about how dope screeners were, and now they're kind of like a burden? Yeah. I feel like we did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, I don't know, but I know what you're talking about, man. Like, they used to be the shit. You could get movies before they were out, at the crib, come home for Thanksgiving, everyone's like, what screeners you got? You're like, yea, you love me now, huh? Right, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, now, A, nobody has DVD players accessible anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all these movies are just streaming, so you're like- Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I could either... Yeah, that's the fucked up part. Find a DVD player, or I'll just click on this link, and they're like, and here's a link to get Netflix, and you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope they do. And have you ever broken them before? The little shards they shoot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, Snipes is driving and he hears De Niro calling in and being like, you guys should do this or you should do that, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Baseball game. Uh, is that the one? That's the ending? Okay. Cause I was thinking of uhm. Yea, where it's all raining. I was thinking the Damon Wayans Jr., uh, Bruce Willis. Last Boy Scout. Last Boy Scout also has a rain scene at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you were gonna say you watched both of those movies back to back. No dude. Might have to go down. That might have to be a double feature that you, uh, you do at like, uh, the New Beverly. Dude, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wasn't even the World Series, it was just like the League Championship game, and then like, they fast forwarded to the very end and he like, shoots the World Series ring up at the camera. Which I guess is like a cool thing, but like, can you imagine the executives being like, yea okay, don't have the end be the World Series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The pennant. I mean, they call it the pennant, right? Like, if you win for the American... The pennant race!


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[Assistant] What are they called? There's the American League, the A-S-A-L-A-L...


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[Assistant] Chris Nolan's talking to his brother who I think he co-writes everything with and is like, alright, I'm going to write the script. Your only job is to come up with a made up word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so tight, Kyle, that you just had that in the chamber. Oh baby, palindromes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if you're listening at home, uhm, we're just coming up with palindromes. I feel like I knew a girl in high school who had a palindrome for a phone number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your favorite dish there? Revenge. Yeah, revenge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He really was. He was. He was like down, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a voice. Larry said? I just remember him from Ghostbusters and being like, that's the guy from Ghostbusters when his show got syndicated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, but, I got, man, I got, so anyway, we're here at Lacoste, he would walk by on Rodeo Drive every morning for his, his like, exercise or whatever, and then I had a homie who sat next to him at a Dodgers game, and then when he went home for a Cubs game, when the Dodgers were playing the Cubs, he sat next to him again there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it just stings. That's pretty good. One of the producers of the movie I was doing in Mexico at midnight. Not to be confused with Yes Points. That's what it's called? Yeah, he's a dude from Mexico, owned this


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did that a lot when I was working in Mobile. We would go to dinner and I had to be like in shape for this part or whatever. So we'd all go to dinner, have some drinks, and then I'd be like, I gotta hit the gym afterwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that's what I was doing a lot in Vancouver when we were doing Game Over Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah, yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. It was big, it was big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember we had the hotel with the gym built in that was extremely packed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what they had at that gym in Vancouver that I want at the crib real bad? Is uh, one of those rope, it's like a treadmill for ropes. Like, it's just a big loop rope that's on a thing and you like, pull it down or you pull it towards you. I want that at the crib, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a climbing rope from like gym class, right? But it's a loop, and you pull it either vertically down, or you can set it up so you can pull it at yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I'm all about that. You gotta like, work your back, work your grip strength, that shit just seems dope. So, if you're a company that makes one of those, holler at your guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What we know about Blake, and it's all starting to come together now, is that he has a very pronounced ridge. So let's just say that shit. Whatever's going down, it gets involved, okay? It finds a way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do remember same era, like third, sec, er, yeah, it was probably like second or third grade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, swimming at the Northwestern University pool, right? In the men's locker room there. You could twist the shower nozzle. Uh oh. So that it could just be like a stream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if I can afford to just have that shit installed at the crib by now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can for sure fuck this guy, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? You can for sure fuck this guy, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounded like a statement. That was the question? Sorry, sorry, let me rephrase it. It's not weird if I, or somebody fucked that guy, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's, he knows, right? And when are these guys gonna just wear Spanx, you know? Or like the equivalent where it just goes above and beyond.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Superhero of health. I was gonna say, that's a rapper for sure. Superhero of health? How is that an image?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guarantee you there's a section in this where it's like, personal and it's like, went to jail!


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[Assistant] This dude goes so hard, is he alive? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's you and Adam. The picture I just posted for you is you and Adam. I don't see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zero, but he's, he's packing. I can see the Honda Ridgeline for sure. Oh yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow! Do that deletion. Oh, whoa, you grabbed my, uh, whoosie, whoosie, hey, I'm gonna take a five-year vacation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, last week, talked about a sketch. Okay. For SNL, where they do like, uh, of acupuncture gone wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone brought it to our attention that guess what? They already did it. And 80 Bryant was in the motherfucker. And it was very funny. Yes, I watched it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, it's all out there in the ethers, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Watching it, I feel like I'd seen it, to be honest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But God, she had the funniest line where she, he's, he's Jason Sudeikis. It's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They put the needle in and blood starts going everywhere and he's like, is it good back there? And they're lying and saying, yeah, it's fine. And then someone goes, what's with all the, someone, look at all that blood. And Jason's like, he goes, look at that blood. And he's like, did someone say, look at that blood? And she goes, oh no, that's just street talk. He said, what a blood. And she said, it's so funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The context of it is a woman trying to cover, and you never hear the doctor speak, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And how many episodes are up now for people to watch?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got to be rich. Is that the commercial? Have they done that for the commercial? The 2B commercial? Got to be rich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But apparently, not that I read anything, but so allegedly the dude is like a scammer with like a criminal record. So like, he might have been like, I'm gonna fuck with this dude and maybe collect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you want to end it on your own? Have we done that before where just Blake wraps it up? Go ahead Blake, I'm down with that.


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[Assistant] What's the elephant? How many episodes has it been that Carl's been with us? Are we at the over under yet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said less than seven, which was the over-under.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say allegedly, allegedly employees of ours were old blunts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that possible by the way? Is it possible for the rams to play the, the super bowl or do they meet before that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you, what do you say? Why do you think the Niners would beat the Rams?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are wondering where Adam is, so are we. Uh, I think he might be, his computer's gonna die. Right? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good feeling where you're like, hey, you took all yesterday to study that, did it today, not gonna get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or just like, watch everything Blake's done before. Or that. Guys, Hollywood, listen up. He's not auditioning anymore. Alright? Or that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's do that now. So everyone out there in Hollywood knows what's the price tag for the hair to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, you're amazing. So after you do that movie, it's just like, restaurants. Yea, then I'm a waiter. Like dinner. No, just going to dinners and stuff. Back to where you were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and Teddy, Teddy wears glasses for real, he's not just some fraud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All professionalism aside, do we think Daniel Radcliffe is the guy for Weird Out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you enjoy the polka? I could never, like I would borrow those CDs from friends or tapes or whatever and I couldn't get through the polka. I liked the polka remakes, the polka remakes of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That took the most guts. That took the most guts. He's like, I'm gonna get him here with Eda or fat or whatever the fuck else, and then I'm gonna feed him their vegetables.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how I know Al. So worried about the flowers we're giving, and I just want to say real quick, real quick, Chi Chin Chong also played at that show, and they were fucking unbelievable, but just to stay with Weird Al for a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, do you remember your first weird owl sighting in LA? Cause I do feel like it is a, uhm, like a, people are like, oh yes, cause I saw him at, uh, Paquito Mas, and I was like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is the backstory, and maybe we've told this on the podcast, but you guys saw Weird Al at the Orange County Festival or whatever. Yes, yes. And before he was coming out onto the poodle hat tour, before he came out on stage, you guys started the chant of, let's get weird. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, right. Yea, dude. Well, cause it was co-owned by, uhm, Guillermo del Toro, correct? Was it? Oh, really? Yea, I think it was co-owned by him and his homie and then there might have been like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had what Blake just said, uh, and then like a little tiny black box theater in the back where they were doing comedy and getting legit stand up stars to be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what Blake, what did they have that was the prized possession that I'm so mad I never bought?


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[Assistant] It was like $150 and I was like, I can't, I can't. I don't know what it is. I do not know what it is. It was a little, it was a little stuffed dren.


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[Assistant] Sharan is the funniest movie of all time, and like, in uhm- Splice. Splice. Splice. Splice is the funniest movie of all time because it's essentially like a doctor who's trying to like create a being or like a thing. Frankenstein's monster. And it comes out and it's actually kind of hot. Hot as fuck. And he's like, I gotta fuck it.


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[Assistant] Circling back to a couple things our producers put here, it is Bel-Air, uh, Kyle. Oh, way to go. Well done. And Guillermo del Toro, he was involved somehow though, because I remember, I met the guy. Yeah, where did you pull that from? Why do you think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He might have had stuff there on display, I guess? I don't know. Maybe. Or like he did sign things there?


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[Assistant] The real stuff was scarier to me, like I'm saying engineer the set pieces of the nightmares to be scarier than the reality. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. Cause I was like, whatever. This, this monster is not scary. The dude with the fucking bottle who like he busted the bottle and like cut the dude's throat open. That was gnarly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rad. That's supposed to be rad, I just thought that. No, no, you misread that. You misread that. Sounds like rad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that? Is it his or is it brought to you by him?


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[Assistant] I remember renting, I don't know if I rented it or like I would just catch it and be like, is this for adults? Because it wasn't for kids for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then there was The Hobbit. No, this was The Hobbit. The Hobbit is the one I had seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Man, maybe I don't know which one I saw. Cause I remember Gandalf. Is Gandalf in The Hobbit? He's in both. Okay, then maybe I saw The Hobbit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just play the very beginning, I think it goes right off the bat. So soft. I don't remember this part. It's so soft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the voice was that guy. This is the voice was. The voice was the Cunningham's dad from, uhm, Happy Days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's Dan Laura. He was my dad. Like that was as close to my dad as I ever saw on TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reminded me of my grandpa. Just someone who was always looking at you like, are you ser- are you serious right now? Fucking stop. Just stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he? Did he go to the same high school as you or not?


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[Assistant] I like to think that if we were cast on that show, like it would have worked out pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it would have. Yeah, for sure. I'm trying to think, like, would I be, would I be Saget? And then you would be, um, and would Adam be Uncle Jesse? Adam is Uncle Jesse. Or is Blake?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but Blake seems like way more of a Uncle Joey Dave Couye type. Or is Adam that? I guess, you know what? I'm, I'm fucking with something sacred. No, it's okay. It's okay though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or is Adam Saget? And I'm Jesse and Blake is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boy, and you know, uh, Kurt Cameron's sister, what's her name? So Kurt, whatever, Cameron, uh, Candice Cameron? No. She was like, I gotta get upstaged by this chick again. Dude, she came in like an urchin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well dude, you know, it's crazy, uh, and this is, this is a TGIF, like kind of jumping over to another show, but on Family Matters, uh, Eddie Winslow, so underrated. Oh, Eddie Winslow was the best. And I think I told you guys recently that I watched an interview with him on like Vlad or whatever, you know, that dude,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he did an interview with him where Vlad was like, yo, what's up with fucking Urkel? The dude who played Urkel. Um, like, Jaleel White? Jaleel White. Legend? Legend. Ten years ago, he said some shit where he's like, I'm never doing that fucking show ever again. And they were like, what's up with your boy? And Eddie Winslow's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real name escapes me, but this dude goes, what you gotta understand about Jaleel is that he's a perfectionist. And he already did it the best he can, and for him to come back all these years later?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So good and so professional as opposed to like, eh, what are you going to do? He's hung up on his old character. He doesn't want to be seen as that forever. And I was like, Oh, this dude is a smart and B just elevated his dude from the show and didn't have to. That's right. Darius McCrary. Thank you. Eddie equals equals Eddie is what I'm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't, I can't remember what season it was, but you know how he pulled those pants up at a certain point? You kind of, you saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got another one. You know what? I have a take back from a few weeks ago. Okay, here we go. Where you guys were like, you could become a professional in five years if you dedicated yourself. I like this. And I have two things. Okay. Not two things that I could become professional perhaps, but frisbee golf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like if I did that every day for five years, I could be knocking on that door. I got a pretty good arm. I'm pretty good at it and if I dedicated myself for five years, I could do it. And the other part of my argument is also that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not going to dedicate myself every day for five years to anything. I don't do it now in real life. It's hard. Why would I do it for some trivial whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still not worth it. It's still not, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is a, this is an Orange County tournament. There's not a tournament up north where you are now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, then you do it. No, I don't want to. I'm just not letting you do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I coulda gone forever. I know, you're a freestyle king, brother! Man, was that two whole bars there? That was almost two whole bars. Dude, what guy's got a hot, he's got a hot two. My boy went on a bar crawl, baby!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I got a little crazy, I got a little hectic, very stressful time for me, but I'm excited and I think I'm pulling up to the parade on Monday, so. Woah. Oh, you are? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what, what, what was the day before? Shit, what's even today? Today's Saturday? It was Thursday, right? Thursday, I was, I was in New York, and I'm like... Today's Saturday, though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then so Friday I spent the whole entire day at the mother freaking airport and I'm like, do I just take the trip to Boston and go to the game? But I'm only one deep. I didn't want to, I was a little scared. You should have did that. What do you mean one deep? It was just you you're saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was game three. That was, that was an L. We took an L that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That series was not super fun by game three, if you were a Warriors fan, because they had dropped a really, really precious game in game one. The huge comeback in the fourth quarter. I was deflated. And then game three, they were kind of getting a little stomp on them. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's just like, the Celtics couldn't make anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing, grandma, uh, jars her own pickles, so it's kinda like a funny thing. You know, that's how you get the idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, the next week, it was on ESPN. No. Yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, we talked about it, I think on the pod. No, we- Yeah, we talked about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Digital wavelengths or whatever the hell it is. Check the text chain, cause I, I texted you. Whatever. You're saying that the pickle boom is already crested? I mean, they're still making- No, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sex is on fire! Kings, remember? They were kinda low-key cutty. Dude, the kings are-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, that's when it started to be like, ehm, we gotta jump off the ship, they're getting a little sexy for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, but sometimes they bounce back, like, I don't know, were you guys on the hoverboard wave? Remember our little funky ducks? I got in the garage right now. Hoverboardin'. You guys remember all those little two-wheelers? Are they back? I'm claiming they're coming back, dude. Let's bring them back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh huh, I still got mine. Have you done the one wheel? No. One wheel haven't done, I saw a lot of those in Atlanta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what happens when you talk about one-wheelers. Adam goes off the rails. He's gone. Oh, there he is. He's back. He's back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually love that you brought up the onion because that's something I haven't tapped in with in a while, but it was. We give them flowers? Tapped in. I would love to because I remember the way I was kind of, I was 2000 and late to the onion, but I remember. I don't know what it is. You don't know the onion?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they have the hard copies, the papers of the onion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I thought it was so cool. It was free. It was hilarious. It was just like such a dope publication just to have just right there in the sandwich shop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And then me and Adams are the young go-hards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, were you a fake ID bro? 18, 19, 20. Oh wow, no, we, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I spent uh, 12 hours at JFK on Friday. It was uhm, absolutely atrocious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but it was wild because I was truly...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If there's a time when he's not, yeaah, he's probably taken a few.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, that, I just don't even consider that stuff. You know I'm an idiot. I float through life like a dumbass. I like, didn't even...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't even, I didn't even clock until like, the Delta terminal to the JetBlue terminal was night and day. Like it was a smack from reality. Like the Delta terminal, like where my flight first got cancelled. Just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The law and order of the terminal. Like, the JFK Terminal 5 JetBlue Terminal is just zany, dude. Like, huge lines. But like, what's going on? I need more words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, um, lounges. The only thing they have is what they call the rooftop, like where you can go get some air, but it's under like an interstate. It was just like, there was no escape from sound. There was no escape from people. I just, there were no seats. I was just, I was just there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ben Baller. Hook us up with a Ben Baller Bagel chain please. I feel like we're, we're, we could get to Ben.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, I think the way to go is, is 2000s, like, early to mid 2000s. Remember like how...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember seeing them open for Weezer. That was sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good line. Wait, hold on. This is their second most popular song. Let's hear what this sounds like real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are gonna fuck that up in such a funny way. Oh yeah, it's gonna be bad. I'm hoping the shotgun beers with Klay Thompson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're actually super dope, like. Show the side players? Dude, check out the, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're sick. I'm gonna wear them for a week for sure. If not a month. Riff raff warm first. Yeah, he's always first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened? Talk to us. What happened?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's the question. If Orlando Bloom listens to the pod, then he wanted you to come over. That's the question right now. Anybody who knows Bloom...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know that you, uh, about face. You didn't, uh, even give the wink a shot. So this is really a... What? You, you took off after the wink?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's small for me. That's small for me. Like, that's small. That was like the smallest I had been since P90X basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I got down just below like 200 and that was it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a thick gentleman by nature, like my bones are very thick. So anyways, okay, this is the big graph part though from fucking 207 in 2020 to 2021, January 267.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great. And that energy was going through the con, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You love that, right? You love- Me? You love Kevin Eastman. Don't you collect his stuff? I should've got it for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Wait, the night that you were DJing? Yeah. Oh yeah, no, I was with Matt and Kristen on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I kept saying to them, the last time I did Hall H, we got kicked out of Comic Con.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like Google like workaholics hall H and a video comes up. So I'm like, okay, we were at hall H. Right. And so I'm still telling the story to all the shadows people and whatnot. And then on Sunday we


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had 2000 in my mind, and then when I saw, when I saw Hall 8, yea, there's a lot of people. I thought that that was the biggest you could have done. I really thought that, but then when I got to Hall 8 and saw that shit, I was like, wow, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then we weren't allowed to do it again. I mean, I'm not trying to discount it, I just thought that that's what, that was that. When I watched the video again, I was like, dude, there was a fuck ton of people, and the story is so good that it's like, yeah, we were too rowdy.


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[Assistant] It was the people. It was the people. It wasn't us. It wasn't us. It was the fans. They came in and they were smoking weed. They were pissing in the corner. They were like drunk. Pissing in the corner? Yes, that was like the meme. Would you want it any other way? Yeah, that's exactly how I want our fans to...


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[Assistant] But in a Comic Con forum, when you're just sitting there and you're just like answering questions and it's very tame, it is a little rowdy. It is, in comparison.


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[Assistant] We did, because we did it twice. Yeah, those were sanctioned. Those were sanctioned. We always kept going, but outside of Comic Con. Yeah. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] That was, I think it was, that was still with Comic-Con. That was the one that they were like, okay, no more.


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[Assistant] Well, let's not talk about the Primus experience. Why? What's wrong with that? We got booed, bro. We got booed.


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[Assistant] When we started playing the French stuff, dude. I bet it was after one of the songs.


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[Assistant] I thought I was toast, bro. I was like, I never been booed that hard in my life. And I always had a big ol' smile on my face cause it was like, yeah, I'm playing. Oh, they don't like.


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[Assistant] You know, it's all kind of like, who's coming out afterwards? Okay, this isn't, you know, Primus. We didn't fit. We didn't fit for them, but we fit for you.


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[Assistant] For whatever reason they can't crack, they can't crack the YouTube so that's still up there.


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[Assistant] That's the, what is that, that song is old as fuck, and it is such a wise song. God, it's beyond its years, man. It really is.


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[Assistant] It was, uh, two, it's, if it's two asterisks, it's asterisks. Which is fucking nuts, dude. Asterisks. That is fucking stupid.


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[Assistant] Beatjuice. Of course I know what a drag suit is. It's a looser speedo that goes on top of the speedo. I have a harpoon cock.


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[Assistant] Give us a deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, your deepest cut, your deepest. Let's go, dive in the crates, go in the...


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[Assistant] Is that what that is right there? Is that a juice? That's a juice, right?


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[Assistant] Wait, what is it? What is Arctic ice? What is it again? Remind me.


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[Assistant] Decade. Is it a soda? Tangerine soda? Oh, are we talking Sobe? Is it Sobe?


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[Assistant] Wait, but they existed though? They existed, a company made them, and then they just fuckin'


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[Assistant] That's when eBay kinda took off. I think that's probably, they probably got on that and was fuckin' trading on the eBay.


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[Assistant] Well the Baconator's been around for generations now. Oh yea, the Baconator has been around for at least since the late 90s.


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[Assistant] I think, I think I would go like, right after Terminator 2. The 2007. 2007 is the Baconator's Conception? Yeah man. Oh wow, okay. So they had just the ultimate cheeseburger with bacon before that, huh?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know about the marshmallow though. I'm still, I'm still working the marshmallow.


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[Assistant] I didn't realize that was the point. I'm not sold on marshmallow or cotton candy. I know that there's a blank space there that needs to be filled in, so just give me a fucking second.


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[Assistant] No, those are the two best things you've named so far. No, celery and black licorice, that's what I'm, that's the corner I'm putting myself in and now I need to kind of figure out how to make that beautiful.


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[Assistant] Or else we're just naming... He's wearing it like fucking Arnold. Like, Hey Arnold. Things, you know?


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[Assistant] Boy. Hey, what's better? The pomegranate or cherry? Uh, those are both just so sweet. Like black licorice and cherry? I feel like black licorice and cherry would be yum.


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[Assistant] I think that would be interesting. They're good contrasting. Then the celery's not really doing much.


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[Assistant] I always gotta grab one though. Are they still on the shelves?


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[Assistant] Yes, yes, they're not as slimy, they're less slimy. Wait, Adam said absolutely don't, correct?


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[Assistant] Alright, straight out the tub. I'll give you some soft and fresh. No, straight out the tub. You get the plastic tub and you put that in the first couple out of there. They're warm and nice and wonderful. The last- They're warm? They didn't come from the oven.


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[Assistant] It's really good. Australian black licorice? What is this? This is it.


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[Assistant] It's in your grocers freezer. Okay, so it's celery juice. There's no third ingredient.


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[Assistant] There's no third ingredient, it's just the, I gotta try the Australian licorice, but I think it's specifically Australian exported licorice with celery juice.


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[Assistant] Cucumber, I can't get cucumber out of my head though, I feel like Ders, the cucumber might be better with a black licorice.


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[Assistant] Uh, skip it. Yeah, don't even touch it. What is it? What is it? Let me look.


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[Assistant] Alright mate, excuse me, Australian literature. Future! Have you guys noticed this when you go to the airports and stuff? The, uh, international currency exchange acronym is ICE and the global currency is where we're headed. So ICE actually is the currency of the future.


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[Assistant] That's how I always thought about the show.


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[Assistant] I don't think that's true at all. He's ignorantly blissful. He's ignorantly blissful.


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[Assistant] Absolutely. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, Bliss is his, and he's Blissful. Ignorance is Bliss.


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[Assistant] Yeah. For what it was. He would be confident in what, what it was without knowing. Yeah. He's like, I don't know this. Yeah. Which.


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[Assistant] But that wasn't intelligent. That's not intelligence. No. It was just he's likable.


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[Assistant] Clippers, baby. Also, there's a world where the two play dumb to get Durs to do that. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, because they know he can't help but step up into the role of the leader because he's so dumb. I go, oh, you guys want me to be a leader? Of course you do.


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[Assistant] But he's a, he's a parent. I mean, he like has a house. Yeah, he has a kid. He has a house. He has... Yeah, he's functioning. Couple cars, like... He's married, like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, I don't think he did anything really stupid. He was always just wrapped up.


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[Assistant] What? This is making me uncomfortable. You're okay.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, we're all getting a little weirded out about this one. You guys are just...


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[Assistant] So that's, that's what I'm talking about. Why is it off to the side? Why is it off to the side? Cause I yanked it over there, dude. Is your finger touching the very end of it? Yeah, you're touching your own dick in that moment. I'm probably trying to tickle it a little bit. Try to get it. There's no doubt in my mind.


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[Assistant] They're back! We're back! There's crazy shirts in Hawaii, bro. I saw one when I was over.


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[Assistant] Well, or just in the island, they're on island time, that's it.


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[Assistant] What's up? Oh, Dead Ringer. Oh, Keanu Reeves, bro. Me.


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[Assistant] We got a muncher! Getting the underwear, it's a little bit tighter, it's a little bit looser, it's always great.


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[Assistant] Good for you. What do you mean? You just didn't have a day where you didn't put on pants?


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, you probably should think about doing that every once in a while.


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[Assistant] I want it from you, Anders. I want COVID from you.


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[Assistant] It's also cool because it's in a Sony Pictures television bag.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that they came, they came with their initial designs and you guys were all your characters and it was me dressed as like the director. I was just, it was me.


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[Assistant] That would have been- I forgot about this, this is actually frustrating me right now.


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[Assistant] Which is so cool. When I was wearing like a fucking red flannel, I had my glasses on, hat, and a black hat, and I could have probably said like, hey, could you put a camera in my hand? Oh, right. Yeah. Kyle, you know what I mean? He's basically Steven Spielberg.


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[Assistant] I don't think they ever made a prototype, man. If there is, holler at me, uh, send it to me, DM me, I'll send you my address, give it to me.


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[Assistant] That would have been super dope. I do think about that every time I see a fuckin' pop. Pop, whatever they are.


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[Assistant] He was hella interested in the orchids at the checkout. Like, he was hella looking at them like, let me get this orchid.


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[Assistant] But he didn't- Yeah, he just came down. Pusateri's in Toronto.


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[Assistant] You could definitely start phasing yourself in as Elton John in all of his glory now.


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[Assistant] Yes, of course. Who are you to say that? You know what I mean though?


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[Assistant] I think if you fall down any staircase, like more than like 20 steps, you're going to come away with like a fucking.


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[Assistant] Break something or do you think you'd roll it out? Like roll out. I could, I could. I don't know. I could.


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[Assistant] See, but I don't know about the landing. I'm actually talking about you can't control yourself. So I don't think we have the right data.


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[Assistant] Are they rounded? Yes, those are very dangerous. I have fallen on those steps.


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[Assistant] Dude, last time I slipped and fell on those same Spanish-style steps, I slipped and fell on four of them and cracked two ribs.


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[Assistant] I miss the days when I can walk around the Grove. You can do that today. And pick shit up. I like to physically touch. We can all go together after this. Are there still stores?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I'm good then. I'm golden, let's go. I do need to go shopping, and I'd love to go with you bros. I would love to go shopping with Kyle. Underwear, apparently. Oh, pants, um, shirts, and underwear. Yes, I need to go to, specifically, Saks. I'm not moving from that brand. Does Saks have its own store? Saks? No, Saks is like in Nordstrom Rack and shit.


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[Assistant] Well they, cause they change it up. They have different types of like, um, pouches.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, good call. The industry must be bored as fuck if it's doing that. Why? That's not a hole. There's no hole in the market that they need to fill with that. You know what I mean? They're just bored.


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[Assistant] Cause nobody knows, nobody knows you're there. Nobody even knows you went. But you could get it every day, bro.


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[Assistant] What are you talking about? The old fashioned? Are you talking about the old fashioned? That's a cake donut. That's a cake donut, right?


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[Assistant] Do you know that you said that? Eating shit now. Now it's just like eating shit.


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[Assistant] I think you get that, I think you get that for dunking. I think you dunk it in your coffee. I think that's the prime one that you would dunk in your coffee.


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[Assistant] That was so much fun to watch that shit in the theater. The only time I ever seen stand up in like a movie theater.


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[Assistant] I don't, yea, just let her talk though, man. You don't need to fucking, come on now. Yea, yea, yea.


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[Assistant] Okay. I'm all for more talking, less listening.


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[Assistant] Well also, also though, also, also though, he's a deep fake now.


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[Assistant] What just happened over there? My dude is crushing- Did you just crush that? Was that the whole thing? Are you okay? What's up?


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[Assistant] Yeah, and FX2. With the clown. Did you just say FX, like FX, F slash X, the movie? You just referenced them? They should bring that back. Except for practical effects don't happen.


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[Assistant] Even though that was their back, but that was...


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[Assistant] Who's, who's, what? I think they took that from Poltergeist. Yes, but they said we're back. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.


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[Assistant] Back in New York from the 90s, I think John- Didn't I send you that poster? Yea, I think you did actually.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, no, it's called We're Back. It was kinda like a- Was the clothing cool?


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[Assistant] Was All Dogs Disney or what? It was! All Dogs Go To Heaven is Disney? I don't think so.


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[Assistant] I believe it was DMX. No, I don't think it was. Yeah, exactly. Brave little toaster.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's a great example. Second tier. But these were like indie cartoons, not at all. They were major studios. Indie comedy. But they would really bring the thunder, man. It was, those are great films. If you have time, check out Oliver and Company. Check out We're Back.


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[Assistant] Okay, so the greatest non-Disney cartoon would have to be undoubtedly the Iron Giant, correct? Am I correct?


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[Assistant] That was after. I'm gonna say Toy Story after Iron Giant. I'm gonna say Toy Story was...


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[Assistant] Dude, I didn't even realize that. Pixar just got bought by Disney like in the last 10 years?


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[Assistant] That's probably the largest omelet you'll see all day holding smokes.


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[Assistant] Over Beauty and the Beast? Over Robin Hood? Beauty and the Beast is great.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he refuses. He'll just give up. I've seen munchers funko and I'm in brother.


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[Assistant] You open it and just vomit. I'm sorry to hear all this. Yeah, that sucks.


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[Assistant] Well, because probably if you are climbing the wall, you can't like...


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[Assistant] Like, pulling things over the wall? Like- I- I could. You've seen Mission Impossible, you can-


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[Assistant] There's a really, like one of the best investments I ever did was cash out on a really nice, uh, rice cooker. It's this company from Japan, Zoji.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got cooked. You've been had. It also will like steam vegetables. I mean, like, I don't care about- Oh, well, steaming vegetables, okay, that's dope. Dude, I don't really care about like products, tech, all that, but this shit makes rice.


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[Assistant] Is this for just like- Yeah, bro- broccoli, you know, you lay a little chicken on top of the ride, everything that goes with it. And I- but if I wanted to get into-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sriracha for days. Little sriracha, put an egg. You know I'm a sriracha boy. Oh yeah, oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Has this ever happened to you before? First time in my life. Nice. Ran outta gas. Huh.


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[Assistant] Yep, by myself, mhm. Okay, that's good, as long as you weren't like with kids or anybody else. That would've been- that's why I'm here to joke about it. It was a pretty- Uh, wait here!


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[Assistant] No, I was in the old Krusty Busty. Oh word. Cause I kinda only take that to like go for jogs. So it's really like short trips. But I was right in the red line cause I'm not trying to get that fucking ten dollar. This is how, uh huh.


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[Assistant] Dude, it's a, it's a, that jeep means a lot to me. I love that jeep. Like, and I stripped it down as kinda like a little hooptie pickup truck at this point. But man.


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[Assistant] Yeah, for sure. Because Adam glanced over it just a little bit or breezed past it, but my Jeep truly was... Oh, that's right. Adam saw yours, right? An American flag with a bald eagle on the hood. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what was wild about when I, because uh, that American flag like Jeep, it was like perched outside the dealership like full display. And when I like went in and I switched up and I'm like, I want to buy that one. The dealership was kind of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically the run down they gave me is like, look, I can sell you this jeep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, don't do some fucking, like, weird anti-USA shit or whatever. And I'm like, no dude, I'm a cop. How?


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[Assistant] He definitely knew who I was. I mean, it is my hometown.


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[Assistant] Yeah, by the way, having never experienced it, that shit would have been scary as fuck if that happened on the freeway.


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[Assistant] They canister. No, with the cracker and everything, like the good shit.


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[Assistant] Dude, this was a casual wedding. Come on, it's Zach and Chels. They're like great people. They're funny. You can be yourself. It was a lot of fun.


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[Assistant] You know, I am sorry, I will apologize later, but I will say...


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[Assistant] Yeaah, it was. It was uhm, where was it? Newport, man, it's so cool. I love it out there.


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[Assistant] I feel like Zach's starting to get real naked in his old age.


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[Assistant] No I've always wondered how much


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[Assistant] It's a secret what our big size is, but once you just know, you pass that part. Once you know everyone else.


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[Assistant] We talked about this. It's what region you're in.


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[Assistant] Okay. You're dead, and then that's the ultimate prank, dude.


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[Assistant] It's a mess, but I can't help myself. You might slip. Well, I've been, I've been deep on my 80s shit for a while now. I feel like that, that was the decade. I feel like I would have really shined in the 80s. I love all the music from that era.


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[Assistant] I, uh, you know, I could, you know, wear a letterman jacket, I feel. I feel like I could pull off a letterman jacket. Talk to me about your 80s. About my? I was, what, I was, you know, a child.


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[Assistant] Emilio Estevez? Yeah, men at work. No, I'm more of like talking heads, the cure. I think I went to the cure.


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[Assistant] But I also, talking heads I love, but also I'll fuck up some Eddie money dude, I'm not afraid. Okay, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are. Dude, they are. Well, they're afraid to admit that they like Eddie money. A lot of people think that that's not cool. Right.


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[Assistant] Beer on a beach, or you wanna be on a boat, I feel, uh.


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[Assistant] Well, I think, I think he's, he's going with his girl or whatever, uh, you know, but yeah, I mean, trips, trips are more fun if, if, uh, you go with a group of friends, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yeah, we just, uh, we talked about that a few podcasts ago about, uh, we, that- Having sex with each other? If, if it's you and your girl and, and another guy is gonna be involved, it can't be, it can't be a homie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then we'd go there, we'd go there for workaholics lunches and every once in a while we would dart over there and it was cool, it was right on a restaurant at the Van Nuys airport and you'd go in there and there was like a lot


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[Assistant] I believe it was the B-52. It looked like the, it looked like the Batmobile flying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You outed yourself playing pickleball and that's why you left the podcast just to get better at pickleball.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and it's- Is it Smashball? It is Smashball, yeah. I live on the beach, it's Smashball, I see it every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the trampoline. On to the, on the trampoline, yes. I believe that is called Smash Ball, I'm almost positive. It's not called Smash Ball. This is important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Chloe, like, ish. She's not gonna play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spike ball with me. Yeah. Spike balls.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's basically miniature, miniature tennis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it's tinier tennis. Is it, what is the purpose of it? It's for people that don't want to run around on a whole tennis court.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. I feel like I would like that because I can't play tennis. My knees will explode if I play tennis. Tennis is hard as hell. I can't, I can't do it, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you left the podcast, you watched a ton of, uh, pickleball, and this is what you did with your, your time? You watched a lot of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I play a lot of disc golf. When I'm in Charleston, I take my discs. You know what I did? I took my golf clubs, because there's a lot of great golf, uh, golfing in Charleston. And then I never went golfing once and then went disc golfing like 15 times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I just watched a movie the other night, uh, called The Fallout, that Julie Bowen star is in, and, uh, it's all about, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened after a school shooting and I didn't know what I was getting myself. I, I watched it. I got like an advanced screening because of Ellen and uhm, you know, you're supposed to like watch what your guests are up to and blah blah blah. And so I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, okay, I'll ride the bike and watch this movie and I'm riding the bike and it starts off and it's this girl who's a great actress, Jenna Ortega. She's a young girl and she's playing a high school student and she


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the hallway, and it's, uhm, a school shooting movie. It's a school shooting movie, and then it's all about, like, the fallout of, like, how they're dealing with that afterwards. It then becomes, like, super heavy, and I was not expecting it. And I'm working out while, uh, doing, while watching this movie, and it, halfway through the workout, I'm thinking, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I should, I should be like, uh, honoring this movie by like not doing something else. Right, pedal backwards. Yeah, uh, but then it got me thinking like how many...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] School shooting, uh, how many there has been to where, like, there, like, I had one at my school. There was one at my local mall, where multiple people died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, since, uh, ever, since it's like Columbine, like people are, now it's like such a normal thing that like, it's not even about like the actual school shooting, it's about what happens afterwards. We're already at like, beyond making movies about the actual shootings, now we're like, oh, it's about, uh, what happened afterwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, it shows how like insane of a time that we're living in that I feel like if I was at a place and a shooting was going down, the last thing I would think of doing would be to go Instagram live, the event.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hopefully not all the time. What would you guys do if like, uh, if like, someone pulled a gun out on the pickleball court? That's the real question. That's the next bastion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anytime we're doing something, like, pretty absurd on the Righteous Gemstones, I ask, uh, John Goodman if this is how the Coen Brothers, uh, do it. Right. I'm like, is this a... He likes that bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, that, that's what, uh, uh, oh brother, how art thou is country music?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know what move, or show I'm really liking is, is it 1883, is that right? Or 84? Uh, the Paramount Plus show, that's the prequel to Yellowstone. It's fucking awesome. Mhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do watch Yellowstone, but uh. Does that help or does it matter? No, it doesn't matter at all. It's like a prequel and it's just like, it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kevin Costner is like a land baron who like owns all this land in Montana and he's trying to keep it, he's trying to keep Montana, Montana and, uh, and, and not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To, to that and it shows like this, the family and how they got to Montana and like their, their travel across the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, now man. Yeah, Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are the, are the, the leads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I really, I really liked, uh, I, I watched the first one, I, I need to, I need to stick with it, but, uh, MacGruber's damn, damn good.


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[Assistant] It was funny. Yeah, I watched a handful of episodes. It is good. I'm excited to dive into some comedy.


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[Assistant] When they don't make you wait for it, when they don't make you wait for it, and you just binge everything in one sitting,


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[Assistant] It's like, it's like you just hit a candy bar, you forgot about it like 10 minutes later.


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[Assistant] Uh, people shit on Red Notice. I actually liked it. It was like a big, it felt like a big blockbuster oof action comedy. I gotta watch it.


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[Assistant] I mean nothing, I liked, I liked that Netflix is doing, it felt like a big action movie from Blake. The 90s.


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[Assistant] Okay, the two, those two actors, I, I. Those guys, they weren't acting, which was, which was a little bothersome, but it made me feel like how Arnold never really acted, he was just always Arnold Schwarzenegger. Exactly.


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[Assistant] These big fun action comedies.


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[Assistant] Yes! Points! Well, is there, would we like to give any flowers or take backs or giveaways? Yeah, let me just take back the rock.


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[Assistant] Hit that button and let's record late night podcasts, ladies and gentlemen. That's what cigarette smoking will get you up. Oh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was seeing them. And how do you feel about rental car companies? Yeah, Adam.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Damn bro. This is weird. I got you so good with that one. You did. I threw it out there and you were like...


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[Assistant] And is it early, and is it early adopter? By the way, before we move forward, is it early adopter?


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[Assistant] I don't even know if that's called adapting or if it's just. Yea, yea, alright. Let's keep this thing moving down the pipe. Let's keep this thing moving down the pipe.


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[Assistant] Metaverse. Anyway, metaverse. You're gonna adopt to it, Blake?


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[Assistant] Didn't we talk about this, how I got on those goggles and was trying to figure out how to sit courtside and they were like, you have to go to this place and then some guy just rolled up on me and was like, hey, and I was like, I just was quiet.


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[Assistant] But, like, you can still, like, I think on that show, uhm, John Wilson, right? The HBO show. He interviewed some dude the other day who, like, runs a business in the metaverse and has people working for him at this pretend business and has had to fire people who did not, like, deliver at the job in the fake world.


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[Assistant] Well that's, that's what's coming down the pike. Is that like, people are going to be making stuff.


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[Assistant] And you know what, there might even be pikes made, pipes made, I don't know. It's science. If you create something, uh, like a world that people want to go to, or like real estate that people are like, this is fucking sick, I can go into this house and do these certain things, people will then buy with real money, fake money, which is a whole other like,


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[Assistant] Crypto type coinage that's like, exists there.


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[Assistant] Like a journalist, right? And didn't realize he was still on Zoom and they were like,


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[Assistant] Have we talked about how we, we had people call their parents and ask, parents who were bosses, back to the Workaholics writers room, we were doing an episode, we were talking about, instead of a smoke break, can you take a stroke break to go beat off if you're like, you just need to, right? You gotta just, sometimes you need to.


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[Assistant] Right, and so we had, people whose fathers had people who worked for them. There were no mothers, but so we had, Kyle called his dad and was like,


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[Assistant] But our writer's assistant who, he'll go nameless for now because I don't know if he wants this out there, but he's a good man.


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[Assistant] And I don't know, if you guys, I guess I wouldn't give a fuck, like...


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[Assistant] Yes, but that's not exactly what it is, but I'm sure that there's some remnants. Yea, right? You're getting gas, but like yea, there's for sure that one particle that was like there to attack your nose. Like true poo.


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[Assistant] No, it's methane or whatever, like it's actual gas.


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[Assistant] Well that's just, that's the midwestern in you. You just, you look at it, you read it, uh, phonetical, English-ly. You don't know that there's a, there's a up and a down in there.


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[Assistant] Uh, you know what I'm saying? Like eventually you're gonna be putting on that suit or whatever and it's gonna be tr-


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[Assistant] I'm so stoked. There's a song that Kristen Wiig does in there that if, like, you know how there's moments in comedies that are super famous, like the orgasm in When Harry Met Sally and everyone knows the like, I'll have what she's having or whatever? And it's super famous, right?


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[Assistant] I know, we spoke, but what I'm saying is that that is like a seminal moment and it's not even like that great. There's a song Kristen Wiig does in this movie.


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[Assistant] That is the funniest thing I've seen in a very long time, and if this movie came out,


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[Assistant] Oh dude, if we're gonna go Martin Lawrence, Blue Streak? Blue Streak?


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[Assistant] Bluestreak, Nate, Bluestreak found it's, it's, really found it's audience when it came on, uh, HBO or Showmax, Showtime, whatever the fuck it was. Uh, then Showmax, uh, H, HB Show.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and that's when people started seeing it. Ugh, classic. Uh, Pop Star? How did that do in theaters? Pop Star!


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[Assistant] I have a sick style boys sweatshirt that I gotta rock when I have a Halloween that I'm not fucking working on.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and I, so this makes me wanna think that, I think, cause I think Jorma did write some of, uh, MacGruber, so maybe he wrote the song. Yeah. That I'm speaking on.


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[Assistant] Do you think for just a moment he was like, I can't believe that guy just didn't say anything except for bye to me.


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[Assistant] Thank you for letting me do that. Cool. What's weird is that, you know he's listening so he turned it down. Oh shit, I needed to tell him.


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[Assistant] Actually, you know what, speaking of us talking about people and then it getting back to us, I always do get, uhm, Simon Rex hit me up and he was like, yo, I heard you guys showed me a little love on the podcast and he actually has to be on it and I had to go,


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[Assistant] By the way, it's crazy to me that it's called Ma Groober. No one says Ma- but nobody says Matt Groober or Mick Groober. Mick Groober. You should be saying Mick Groober. You shouldn't be saying Ma Groober. Anyway.


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[Assistant] When I was leaving, I talked to Will Forte for a moment and he goes, hey, thanks for the shout out you guys did on Workaholics way back when.


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[Assistant] And I was like, oh yeaah, we had a line where we were like, that's not my Will Forte.


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[Assistant] Oh, sick. Speaking of like needing to change your number, I got the craziest, like, most insane cross the line Robotext today with like a link to click on to like give your life away. Yes. It says, OMG, she's gone but not forgotten. Fans say goodbye to Betty W.


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[Assistant] But it's what Betty did before she was gone that's just shocking. See the full story here.


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[Assistant] Of course they're good. I have one I barely use. I just look at it and I go, I'm sure there's a lot of cool shit going on there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, dude. Cause- What are you doing on this thing? I just- I- All I do on it? You know what he's doing. You know what he's doing.


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[Assistant] Hear me out here, and I'm gonna trademark this shit, but like, if you have a uhm,


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[Assistant] I can't see anything. That's what mace is, Anders.


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[Assistant] But it's just called the police is my point. So like the police are on their way. The house is fogged. And are they really gonna take the time to be like, fuck, I can't see anything, let's wait an hour? No, the police are gonna be there, they're gonna fucking bail. Did I just change the world?


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[Assistant] Cause remember when we did that scene in Workaholics? We couldn't see anything.


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[Assistant] But where did- and Blazer, you can use their name or not. Where did this come from?


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[Assistant] That seemed sinister. That seemed sinister. I think Kyle, well then Kyle must have pitched it, but it was one of your homies' ideas from childhood. Oh god. That was like if I ever get fucking really pissed at somebody. I mean, no.


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[Assistant] So the answer is he was standing on a block of ice and then it melted and he hung, and he hung.


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[Assistant] A kid gets hit by a bike. That's what we did before television. His dad brings him to the hospital or something. Okay. And then they're like, is this my life story? And then they're like, no, uh, were you on a bicycle?


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[Assistant] If your parent, if your, if your mom is a doctor, the whole riddles and no, everyone goes like,


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[Assistant] They go, well, his father was here too, and you're supposed to be like, how did that happen? Like, how is his father also here? And it makes everybody sound sexist because you forget that like a woman could be the doctor in the room. What?


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[Assistant] I feel like they're doing it and it's gonna be like, uh, the family man. What's his name? And we talked about last week.


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[Assistant] You're not gonna beat DeVito as the original Penguin.


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[Assistant] Oh my god. Have you rewatched Batman Returns recently? It's fucking...


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[Assistant] That character is bizarre. He just bites some woman's face, like bites her nose off. Or no, a guy. Yeah, a couple pot. Bites this guy's nose off after telling like a bad joke.


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[Assistant] Yeah, dude. And he fuckin' eats Catwoman's birds? It's heavy. And then spits the blood.


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[Assistant] They took swings in Batman Returns, like the son was played by that guy who was in every football movie ever from the end. He was Butterfingers from Hudson Hawk. Who was that guy's name? The big muscle headed guy from the program who like busted his head through the car window.