[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, well there's not like a monolithic, just Amish. There's a bunch of different types of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying, I don't think, there's not one big Amish group where they all have the same rules and live the same way. It's a bunch of different types of communities. So it really depends on where you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever see the friends episode where an encyclopedia salesman comes to Joey and he can only afford to buy one letter. So he buys a V and he just knows everything about V stuff. Ah, that's funny. But nothing else is very funny. It's a pingeolette. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew guys that did. But I went to one on a field trip when I was younger. We went to one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but I haven't been as an adult. I feel like it'd be much- How was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm furious about the bread. Y'all put syrup in the fridge?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Heinz? Isn't Heinz in Pittsburgh? Yes, that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He saw my notes, he wouldn't have guessed it. Oh yea I did, but I knew that one too. Yea alright, alright. Is he from Scranton? Whoever has the best show do we get a bat or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a pinkish red after this ad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you talking about? This is a great list, but then all these ads, these ads, they wait until you're actually using the site and then they just pounce on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well something happened here. There's gotta be an easier way. Here's the list. Okay, we got Razzmatazz. That's the pinkest red outer space. What is that? It's like a dark gray. It's like the color of outer space. Jazzberry Jam. A lot of fun stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bottleneck, we can get into it if you want, but the bottleneck in this process is not my ability to Google.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was an Alabama fan in Alabama. Well, you were in Alabama. I know, but it's like, it's split Auburn, Alabama. It's kind of the same. Yeah, both are pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Neither of them were that good back in the day. But like one was historically much better than the other. Yeah. Yeah. So it's the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Really? After the Eagles Super Bowl? Was it because they won? No it was because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At any point where you like, maybe I just, just quit this comedy thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a guy on TikTok that does that. He goes around to Beverly Hills and knocks on and just goes, what do you do? And most, a lot of people are, they'll talk about it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to have that conversation. I think it's amazing that in 19, so he was hired, 1992, his wife hired somebody to kill him for 300 bucks. Oh, that's good. But he was a circuit. I feel like that's so cheap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which people do by the way. And then this weekend I'll be in Phoenix, stand up live with Dusty Slay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm headlining gutties in Greenwood, Indiana, which Brian did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last month, uh, I'm doing that, uh, first weekend of November. So come out to see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so, like two or three. I could get it down by the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have it narrowed down? I think the deadline's like May. Oh, okay. Like final, final deadline, so. So did you do a safety school and stuff? I think most of them I applied to are safeties. So I, I did, do you want me to tell you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, I don't think we've covered it since like middle school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm taking environmental sciences, so like, can't talk about clouds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little too, I think just try to keep it too serious in school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like I'm a, I have a doctor in. You want to go for a doctor? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I think just masters actually. Doctors too much work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's not like set in stone. Like you have to like choose a major when you apply, but you can change it always.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't, no. I should. You should. I've heard it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really like the older ones, like the first few seasons at diversity day. Yea, the racist ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a, a counting. Counting. Counting one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got AP environmental science. Oh, there it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I love having it as my first class. And I already know how to play guitar and it's a beginner's class. So it's like, cause I need an art credit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you can leave it there, but I'd take it home on the weekends and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like regular art, like painting and drawing and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it's acoustic, but you can bring, like if you have an electric, you can bring it. So I haven't brought it yet, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The season ended in like, late October.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was from January to the end of October.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done a half marathon, but you're not supposed to, like when you're younger, it's like bad for you. So maybe when I'm older, I'll try one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, like my fastest? So my fastest is 17 minutes and 16 seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't want to be one of those people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see. I got more important things to focus on right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know I love camouflage. I used to wear it to open mics a bunch. I got trashed pretty, pretty regularly. I love it. I would wear it all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was in middle school, that was the cool thing to have was a camouflage jacket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They asked him and he was like, yeah, I'm never going to completely rule that out. Which is what you say when you're asked a question like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, probably. Well, there was, it was a big national news article. I assume they talked about it, but he's coaching the season as far as I know. I'm sure they've talked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a misleading headline. It was like River said he's still ready to leave or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's holding out. You see if the school can match his million dollar contract, probably not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just weren't a huntin' family. We weren't a huntin' family either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was more like an army camouflage. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's, you know, the different, that's the kind that you would notice the difference. That's real tree. That looks like, uh, you know, it looks like the real tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It says it on a real tree right there. That's what that type of camouflage is called.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a proof of concept episode, right? Cause people have talked, we talked about doing this for awhile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you think one day that a clip of you talking would be used in a class?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An interrogation and undercover operations by the federal government.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that they're like running in between it on this side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I know, if the West Wing is accurate, I can say, here we go, here we go. It's that you have Secret Service agents on family detail that will like accompany your kids' places. And those are people that are close to the family and you pick those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, and there's a plot line in the West wing, their daughter goes to college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have to send a secret service agent to be her roommate all through college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they like talked to people and interviewed and found one that they liked. And I'm assuming it's accurate because it's a good show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a great Disney channel. I think it was a Disney channel, original movie, my date with the president's daughter. Yeah. Anybody remember that? Oh, it was a great movie. The girls did. Oh, it was a great movie. It's a guy he made. He picks up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The president's daughter at the mall and doesn't know it's the president's daughter and then he spends the whole night trying to escape from the secret service and hang out with her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or she tries to. It's a good movie. Yeah. Disney movie. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to be embarrassed about the bank teller when I, I would have negative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, negative $8 in my account and I have like a $20 check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I just have to hand it to the guy. And you know, the guy like pulls at my county, like, oh jeez, like nothing. He must just see that all day though. And then what do you say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He deposits it and I get back in the black. I'm just trying to get above zero. Yeah. I'm depositing a check, but you know, anytime they pull up my account, I'm always embarrassed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do get overdraft fees. So you're losing money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm doing better now, but I was, I was trying to, uh, trying to establish myself at the banking world. Trying to build.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever not fill it up all the way cause you're bored, standing there waiting for it? I've thought about it. That's plenty. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I drove away with the thing still in my car like last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I got it. Nothing happened. It just, it just got ripped out. Um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got distracted or something. I've never done that before, but I drive it and then I just hear like people yelling as I'm pulling away and I look back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just heard like the woman behind me be like, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir. And I'm like, what's going on? And then I like pulled out and ripped out of the car and it was fine. Thankfully.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How it just got out, I was like, that's embarrassing. She was like, hope you're okay. Do a little five minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I did what you did, I started, I got it going then I went inside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I came out, it was done, so it's not, gas isn't coming out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I drove, it got ripped out, no gas was coming out of it. So it didn't break or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, just the handle part. Yeah. And then I just put it back and put it back in. It was fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'd look like a moron, cause everyone around saw it and I'm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is poss- yea, it's possible it could have been a couple days, but it was just in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright. It wasn't much of a reach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like Spencer found out the hard way and that's why he's a former bank teller.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was saying y'all thought it was dumb that I wanted a $25 bill, but then somebody pointed out in the comments, there's a 25 cent, you know, quarter, it's a quarter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So why not use the same? Logic. Yeah. For, for the bills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you got a penny, a penny, a nickel, a dime, a quarter. So it should be 1, 5, 10, 25.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see the fake business card somebody made? Yep. Yeah, that was great. That was really, really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You saying Selena dying wasn't a big pivotal moment in your life in the 90s?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, actually, do you know that bar right around the corner from Zanies in Chicago? It's right across from second city. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, when I was up there in June, everyone's like, you gotta go to this bar. It's like a famous comedian bar. Cause all, Chris Farley and all those guys. Oh yeah, in Chicago? Yeah. Oh, I've been to it. They go there right after second city. And they're like, you sit in this booth. This is where they all sat. It's really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the hoop sticking out. He traumatized you as a kid, I'm sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those teacups that you can really grab with just these, just the pinchers. Yeah. But this kind of mug, yeah, that is hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember saying that, but the guy liked it. So I'll take credit for it. Uh, I guess there was somebody named Harry Meeks and I said he will inherit the year. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I don't remember it either. I don't know what the saying is. Sounds like a joke. What's the saying? It's a biblical thing. Oh, the meeks. The meeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, Spark Notes was big when I was in high school. Do you read Spark Notes? No, I do. We did Cliff Notes. I always heard Cliff Notes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, spark notes when we read Shakespeare?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go through and they just have it side by side translated to normal English.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When shall we three meet again in thunder lightning or rain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what he said. Why are you in this family that I'm not allowed to be? I misquoted it in fairness. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are you in this family? Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Why are you a Romeo? Cause I'm not allowed to talk to your family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe I'm wrong, I thought that that scene was, she's asking, I wish you weren't from this family, that's rivaling mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's tough to hear about a weight loss journey that starts at my dream weight. You know what I mean? But if he's, but if he's not feeling comfortable and once, once.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you were kidding about a restaurant being called My Neighbor Felix. This is My Neighbor Felix, Mexican kitchen and bar in Denver, Colorado.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it might cause problems for Harper down the road. Oh, but I'm good. Yeah, you're fine. You're fine. Obviously I'm fine. That's like, if you had, if you had taken her name when he got married, this way, this is the way it would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but like none, not celebrities, just like people. Like what? Like people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can do like, you know, a personation like a server at a comedy club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's not like a generic, it's just very specific guy. You wouldn't get it at all. It would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't wanna. I can do a couple voices, but nothing crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think the sugar got to me. I think it was just the sheer volume of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that your first time co-headlining something with him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but we were there for, uh, you were there for three days. Three days. Yeah. Wow. I was there for two days. They filmed in Pittsburgh. Show's called sprung.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I play, uh, it's about a guy who gets out of prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Greg just wanted, I wasn't even originally in the scene. Greg was like, we got to get you in this scene next to Brian. So I'm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's what the mask looks like. You can see a better picture. Like this is me and Brian right here. That's what Brian's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say folks in my line and then I get there the first day and on the official call sheet, you get all this paperwork and on the call sheet, they have Brian named as breakfast on the call sheet. So it's like Aaron Webber above a breakfast on there. So it was really, really cool, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna say my scene that I take was the first scene of the whole show that they filmed. Oh really? In my scene I have like three lines and there's two other lines so I'm kinda...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In that scene and it's the first thing they filmed the whole time. I've never been in anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember just being like, oh man, we're doing this. Oh my God. Here we go, dude. And, uh, the weird thing about acting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So once, yeah, once he said that, it was, I felt a lot better about it, but it was just so nerve wracking. And I think I was telling Brian this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's my, it's me being naive, but I had no idea what I was walking into. I'd never been on a big TV production before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of just, it's like a whole college campus there. Different trailers, makeup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'd done smaller stuff that I thought was a large production, but obviously nothing compared to what this was. I mean, the scene I'm in, there's like 50 extras in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and there's like a hundred people standing around, the crew and everything. And I was like, oh man, here we go. Like, time to play ball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and, and extra, this dude just walks up. He's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey man, let me get a pic with that gun, bro. Because there's a sign in the prison that says no firearms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this extra walked up to me because there's so much, that's the other thing I didn't know about. There's so much just killing time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like standing around and they gotta reset the camera. So I'm talking to the extras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they all had their own backstories of why they were in prison, which was really fun. You know, they're just extras like, yeah, I killed somebody. But this guy was like, let me get a picture of the gun in front of this no firearms sign. I was like, all right. So I just give it to him. And immediately somebody comes over and is like, what are you doing? And I go, Oh dude, my bad. It's like, yeah, you can't just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I felt like so unprofessional. I was the only one that was cra- I mean, it was so funny, the scene that we were in, that I messed up a couple takes. Then Greg came out and was like, I don't need to tell you what you did, right? I was dying laughing. I'll take it as a compliment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is insane. And all the actors are so good. They're like nailing everything. They're not breaking. I just felt like, what am I doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Brian taped a couple different episodes per season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm an, I'm an extra. He, Greg put me as an extra on a Brian scenes too, so we could be staying in there together. I didn't say anything in those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but he's, he did bad things to kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeah, it was, it was awesome man. So thank you, Greg, for letting us be a part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, me too. It was, the scene was so funny and the script was funny. I think it would be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Howie Mandel All-Star Stadium Spectacular. It's going to be on the CW. Hmm. I don't know when it comes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like this, I was like, I don't, can't believe I'm here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like Ryan Hamilton, Natasha Leggero, Patton Oswalt, all these guys on it and then just me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome. I'm there in November, November 5th and 6th. So if you couldn't make it to Brian's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm going to throw out the first pitch and then I'm going to try to run over the Opry afterwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, somebody suggested and I won't do it cause it wasn't my idea, but somebody suggested immediately walk over to the ump and like undo my belt and take my hat off. Like I'm being tested. That was a great idea. John Chris did it. He threw out the first bitch. He made a funny video about it. I got to think of something unique to do. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he probably will say it's on purpose, but I've seen him throw a baseball before. He was probably trying to throw a strike. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's just as crazy that there's this huge thing that they just had no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love you. Say I love you, Ella. He used to say, yeah, olive juice. That was ours. People commented that too. And they said that. What does that look like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How is that in, I don't believe anything this person says at all. I don't know all the details, but what is this from?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate, uh, Brian Aaron Weber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, uh, to Viori for sponsoring this episode of NateLand. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keeps offers a simple, stress-free way to take, to keep your hair with treatments starting at just $10 per month. If you are ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keepskeps.com slash nate to receive your first month of treatment for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's keeps.com slash nate to get your first month free. keeps.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, welcome everybody to the podcast. Uh, I started with the let's go. I don't know if that's going to be the, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do think I get to decide what I want to say. I mean, that is true. So, uh, I enjoy talking about it and, uh, being in the mix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go, folks. It feels great. I like it. Uh, I like it. I like the specific. It's, uh, when we did it, you threw a poll up on Instagram.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, and Twitter. And so what, what, what were the, the, uh, let's go and hello folks. Here's the Instagram results. Fourteen hundred people, uh, oh, I mean over two thousand people voted. Sixty two percent, hello folks. Thirty eight percent, let's go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I would say is a lot of this is, uh, it's people that don't want change. Yeah. And that's, uh, you know, uh, Laura, you know who over here? People that are stuck in their ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing too, did people listen to the- And hear the explanation and hear the context for it. Yeah. And everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Laura doesn't. Uh. Here's the Twitter. Hello folks, same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody still likes hello folks, because we've been doing hello folks. Hello folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm not saying I'm against, I like Hello Folks. I think Let's Go Folks just stands out more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's, it's different. Hello folks is weird just saying the same greeting that's been said for 100 years. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they're using it, but you're, that's, that's almost kind of the thing. You hear it a lot, you just notice it more. That's, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People, people said that with one fell swoop and I did the one fell swoop joke. And I've noticed it too. Once I started doing the one fell swoop joke, I heard a lot more people use one fell swoop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it's like that kind of thing. When you say hello folks, and we say it here, you start hearing other people say it. But they're not saying it because they're, they're one of us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I know the fans are using it, but I'm saying that you notice it, I notice it like just in, on TV and like you see, you just hear someone say it somewhere and you can tell that it's, you know, like, let's go folks is way more specific and nobody's saying that. Everybody's saying hello folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't either, and that's why we're making fun of them, is for saying, let's go folks. We are, it's, you know, it's like, uh, you watch UFC fight, you ever watch fighting, UFC fighting? If a guy gets in trouble, he doesn't go away, he gets closer. That's what this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, you go get closer to, like, if you watch a guy and he gets, he gets rocked and he's got to get it back together a little bit, it's something you've learned in fighting. If someone's going to fight you, run at them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, they say that with a gun. If someone's gonna shoot a gun with you, go to the guy. If it's a knife, run.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But so it's, it's almost like we're going, we don't like let's go so much. We're going at, we're going, we're getting up in it. We're getting, we're locking it up. We're getting up in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're in, we're in control of the let's go. And we take it over. And then we make it our own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We control the narrative. We're like, uh, we control the narrative of let's go. And every time someone says, let's go, we enjoy it more because we go folks. That's what I think afterwards. And I see someone, I see you see it on this weekend watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Golf was great this week and they had eight playoff holes, I believe. Unbelievable. And, uh, you see, I saw a guy in the crowd just scream, let's go. Like he's, you know, like the lunatics and I thought of folks and I didn't, I wasn't angry at that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I was like, I thought of my own thing. It's not, look, it's not for sure yet. I w we're going to do, we're doing another, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get into it. I might switch. Let me think about it a little more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, maybe it's hello folks, maybe I just want it to be back hello folks. Yeah, can we have both? Huh? Can we do both?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're getting nowhere. That's how someone gets where they don't, they go nowhere in life. Is they go, let's just do both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's, people listen to this podcast, like on way, we're acting like we're a live, like it's, we're on a live show and like we, you know, it's, it comes out, people listen to it, people are gonna think about it. I'm letting people think, we're making a decision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I see 90%, you better bet we're doing another poll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I contradict myself a lot. And that's what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go folks. I saw that. Yeah. On the Nate land, if you look at Nate land, uh, Instagram, uh, he started off with let's go folks. He did a good, he raised his energy up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it felt good. But you know what I mean? That's what I mean. I think the hello folks was easy. Let's go. He had to do something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would be fine with hello folks. That's how they talk. We're trying to get younger on this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They wouldn't like it. Uh, yeah, we can look. We're, we're, it's, I want a fair, all I'm asking for is everybody be fair. How does this thing, uh, every, I want everybody to just think about it. And then, uh, you know, I was, too, it made me think, I know I fidget with this a lot. People always bring that up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet, I bet you would fidget too if you were sitting here. It's like, it's so hard not to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, uh, let's read these comments and we can talk about some other stuff. Uh, uh, David Womack. I started a new job this past week and I have my own office. I'm quite introverted and struggled. I always have trouble spelling quite. Uh, I just had it this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm quite introverted and struggled to meet new people. I was listening to you guys on my lunch break and a guy across the hall heard you and hollered, hello folks. Anyways, we're now best friends. Thanks for breaking the ice and helping me make a new office buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] David, the fact that he's going to hear that you wrote that and probably bell on you. Uh, no, that would be funny. He goes, David, I heard Nate talk about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just saying hello to you. No, that's awesome. Bringing people together. Two guys, if they listen to this, they're going to get along. I like them to vote on the hello, let's go folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks is everything. Jen Stevens. Let's go folks. It's, it's like our secret handshake. That's what I'm talking about. It's a, it's, it, only us know this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so specific. That's the thing that kind of makes me go. It's so specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one knows, you know, let's go. It's just, it's ridiculous. That's the joke. We're in on the joke. We're so much smarter than all the let's go folks. Chase Whitney. Hello folks. Sound much more greatest average American. Let's go folks. Feels a little like we're trying to ride a bandwagon because you're looking at it the wrong way. Chase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you're, you gotta get it. It's not the, I get like we're doing a very saying that's very famous right now. But it's, it's, we're making a new one up. Hello folks is not, everybody talks like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go folks is we're making fun of them and it's new and no one says let's go folks. Nobody says that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ty Burham. Hello friends. That's what we say over at Aaron Land. So hello friends is, uh, Jim Nance. Doesn't he say that, uh, with golf? I believe someone else says hello friend. Hello friend. I think Jim Nance says hello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, that's along with, uh, like, his famous thing is Hello Friend. So yea, Aaron Land would seem like a place where y'all would steal someone else's stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] James Lackey. I have seen every episode. I watch every stand up special on Netflix from every comedian. The closest I ever came to blacking out from laughing is when Brian says Kent State massacre.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After talking about Vietnam and Nate says good night non-stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kevin Gorey. Butch Allman. Nate has gone from inventing words to inventing humans. Watch out, folks!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Much trucks. Yeah. He was in the Allman Brothers. Alright, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Butch Trucks. That's Derrick's uncle, right? Yup. Uh, I was wrong. Nick Buback. Nate with It's Weird That Usain Bolt Isn't There. Talking about the US Olympic trials. Usain Bolt, the famous Jamaican sprinter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I guess I meant, yeah, it was the U.S. Trump. He should be in it. I'll be honest with you. They, why would they not? He should just be around at all the trials.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let him come. Don't you want to see what he would do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's our guy. Send him to Jamaica, we give you same bull.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rusty Green. This is the only thing I know, Rusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 1985 during Live Aid, Phil Collins played the London show. After a set, he flew on the Concord to Philadelphia and played that concert as well. Making him the only artist to play both shows on the same day. Uh, yeaah. From London, yeaah. Flew on the Concord.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 50%. That's their motto. I know it's only 50%, but always remember that's better than 60%. Uh, there you go. 50% chance you get in the wreck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We could be 60% and they go, that's true. And you go, all right, I'll do it. That's how they would get you into doing it. 50-50, this plane goes down. Nicholas Wynkoop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If Aaron's dream is to be the reaction guy on the bench warmups, then he's literally living his dream right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You let him loose a little bit, I'd be appreciative.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tyler Gamil, or Gamil, while the disco demolation night promotion was a complete disaster, the worst promotion night ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has to go to the Cleveland Indians where they put on 10 cent beer night in 1974.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fans are getting so drunk and rowdy that they eventually overran the stand serving beer and started carving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or carving. Started carrying full kegs back into the bleachers. Later in the game, one fan ran onto the field and got into an altercation with an outfielder from the visiting Rangers team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 10 cent beer night. I mean, a dollar gets you annihilated. A dollar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just chaos. I mean, just so, and people drink before they get there. So that's so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, I love the mindset of just going, it's Tencent Beer Night, we're doing something great for you guys. And everybody goes, yeah dude, we appreciate that. We'll go bring our family and stuff and uh, have some beers. And just to then a guy with a keg next to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I guess you write a book. First half this, second half that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was. There was a button already and you undid it. And now we lost the button. That's what you did with that comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, uh, sometimes, uh, cups are a little bit cheaper for, and they have to raise it. I went to a place the other day, they charged it for diet cokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I did go to a place, uh, a restaurant. That was a great restaurant and they charged you for every diet coke. And that makes me furious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, they, uh, you don't find out. Sometimes they come up and say, it's insane. McDonald's ain't charging for every Diet Coke. Don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, if you're going to a nice, it's like a steakhouse and you charge it. Look, if it comes in the bot, the bottles, you are obvious. That's different. But if it's, if it's, if you're bringing it to me in a drink, you can't, you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we got in a, one, when we were first married, Big Jay's birthday party, we go to this restaurant called, I wanna say it was called Ninja in New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, this is, uh, we, we have no money. Uh, you know, this is, whatever, 15 years ago or something. And so we go eat, Laura's doing one work and, and, uh, we go to this restaurant. It's our first time really going to like a super, super nice New York expensive restaurant. Where?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where your bill is gonna, you know, we got a large table of people where, I mean, I think it might be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a couple hundred bucks a person, you know, like it might be a thousand dollars for like a group of ten people. You know, so that where you're like, dude, we've never done. I don't know. We don't know what this is. Uh, we went to Sparks once to get off the first time we ever went to spend a lot of money on food. We went, this is how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Southern and basically Redneck we are. We go to Sparks, which is the famous New York, uh, steak restaurant where the mafia guy got shot. Paul Castellana. Yeah. He got, they killed him right in front of the restaurant. Uh, you ever hear that? No. Yeah. It was a big, uh, they named Gotti. John Gotti. John Gotti became the new boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like the eighties, right? I mean, it was, you know, uh, and they got them right outside. And so we went there and ate and, uh, dad died. And they, they, we, uh, we went in there and ate and it's like a big famous, it's a great steakhouse. And so I remember the check being like $200 or something. We took a picture of it because we just never.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is insane. $200 for food? Like that's crazy. And we remember, we took a picture of it and just like, we're just a bunch of dumb rednecks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they, uh, so the Ninja thing, so they come over and they bring, all of us were drinking Diet Coke. This was forever ago. And I mean, it's, it's like $30 worth of Diet Coke. And we're like, Laura was livid. I was too. Like, it's just crazy to be like, tell us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like come up and say, yo man, we're charging you for diet coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think we, I don't, I think we were already on edge with how much this was going to cost. This was before sparks. And so we were worried too, like let's try not to go crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, and it's one, like New York is very big. It's Jay's birthday. Now we're all going to pay for it. And we all pay everybody. It was like everybody's pitching in and that's also New York too. They do that with, uh, I remember a girl I worked in Chicago, uh, Kristen, and she, uh, had, she was from New York. She had to go to a, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was like working, taking extra shifts. Cause she's like, I gotta give him a gift. It's gonna be like 500 bucks. And I was like, what? You gotta give someone a gift worth $500? Like for a wedding? Like you're not your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not your daughter getting married, you know, it's, uh, you're just a guest at the wedding and they were like, that's what they, that's what they do in New York, which I kind of like it. New York is like, it's very much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very sweet. It's very nice. You're really giving them a gift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think you could give, I think $100 would even be a lot for a lot of, like you wouldn't even give that. But it's, you know, I mean where you are and stuff like, yeah, obviously the grandparents, they probably do a little more and stuff like that. But a friend?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you would ever expect someone to get- I remember I was like, golly, that's kinda crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, you know, they gotta buy the dress, they gotta, so it costs this person $1500.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason it seems unbelievable that Ronaldo was able to tank Coke's stock by 4 billion is because, well, it is unbelievable. This is a situation where people took correlation to equal causation and ran with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like Becky's, I like Becky's response to that. I like someone that comes in and goes, eh, probably not true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone, I was just talking about that, there's stocks with oil and stuff, like their company will be worth 2 billion to 30 billion and it's all like in a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'll make believe though. That's what I'm starting to think. I don't, you know, where's all this money? The older I'm getting, the more I'm like so confused with going. I think there's something, you're like, how does everybody have money now? It seems like everybody has money. Like everybody, you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the, you can't be doing, building a pool, construction. No one, there's no lumber. There's no anything. Everybody's got money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we went through a pandemic and everybody's just richer now because of it. Like yeah, I'm not saying everybody, but it's, it's just seems crazy to me. Like everybody's like just doing better. It's all it's where, where is it? And all the money's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no concrete money. It's all just kind of like, you know, who, they have four billion worth, nine billion worth, like what does that even, what's all just like moving around? I don't believe any of it. Uh, what is the stock market?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Curarie fan. Curarie fan. C-U-R-A-R-E fan. Wrong description of rope-a-dope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More commonly, Ali would be against the ropes away from the corner and cover his head while his opponent would be punching him out till he got tired. Then Ali would make his comeback after conserving his energy. Still pretty wild strategy though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was like a known nobody boxer or something like, you know, a guy that's great obviously, but not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He ain't doing that George Foreman. Uh, be Andrew Scott.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the band says their name is just Eagles and you don't have to add the to the front of a sentence, you wouldn't say The Metallica is a legendary band or the Duran Duran were great in the eighties. So you could say Nate performed for a member of Eagles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Does have something to do with being plural? I want to be friends with that person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If someone said, Hey, what time did Titans, what time did Titans play today? I'd be like, you gotta get out of this house right now. And he goes, why dude? He goes, we're about to get started. Let's go. Dude, get out of here right now. Are you kidding me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I have a Coke? Or no, can I have Coke? He can't even say Vee. I go, you know Coke? He never says Vee. You know Coke, uh, stock went down. I don't know if that, I'm trying to think of Vee. Maybe I don't say Vee that much either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll just tap out of that one. I'd love you to add a thought, just if it could be good. Uh, that's a lot to ask. It's going to be a while. It's going to be a while. We're working up to that. We're having new poll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, let's go pals. And I'm like, now let me tell you something. I know y'all are going to sit here and I'm trying to separate even us, the folks of this. I'm going to get my own group.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Matt Conrad. Ken Griffey Sr. was supposed to be on the Marshall plane that crashed. However, he got his girlfriend pregnant the year before with Ken Griffey Jr. and decided he needed money so he signed a minor league contract instead of staying on the Marshall football team. Wow. That's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is crazy. Did we talk about who, uh, did we say Wahlberg was on that 9-11? Someone texted me that. Did we talk about this? I don't know. I don't need to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk about plane crash, oh, like someone, oh, maybe that because they're talking about plane crashes going down, like King Griffith Senior is supposed to be on it. Like, you know, that's the 9-11, Mark Wahlberg was supposed to be on that flight. So was Seth MacFarlane, I think. I didn't know that. Supposed to be on the, uh, on the flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when did we talk, what did we talk about with that? The 70s, the plane crashes, Marshall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something I do remember is a new outlook on performance apparel. Perfect if you're sick and tired of traditional old workout gear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything is designed to work out in, but does not look or feel like it's just workout clothes, which I love. It's very comfortable. You can wear it all the time. I wear it all the time. That is what's great with, you know, people are wearing workout clothes kind of everywhere now. And, uh, so they need to look nice. And so you don't look like a bum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you go out and that's what Viori does. I have the Sunday Performance Joggers. They are super comfortable. Uh, Erin's wife has the women's daily leggings and she loves them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ordering online is very easy and the website is not cluttered. Very easy to pick styles and color options and everything has a great fit to it. Do yourself a favor and get your own Viori. Uh, Viori is an investment in your happiness for our listeners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are offering 20% off your first purchase. So get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate. That is B U O R I dot com slash Nate. They have a lot of golf stuff too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any US orders. Over $75 in free returns. Go to Viori.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's easy to do. You don't have to go out to the doctor. You can get a prescription medication delivered to your home and it's very affordable. If you notice thin hair, this is the time to try keeps. So if you're starting to thin now, if you're looking at yourself and you got to be honest with yourself and look at in the mirror and go, you know what? I can see a little bit going. You don't want to wait too long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You sit there and you go, wow, it's starting to go a little bit. This is the time to do keeps. Did you know that more than 50 million in the U.S. suffer from male pattern baldness? 50 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keeps offers a simple stress free way to keep your hair. There are only two FDA approved medications that can prevent hair loss and Keeps offers both of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have virtual doctor consultants and medication delivered straight to your door every three months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you don't have to leave your home. The treatment starts at only $10 per month and keeps offers, uh, keeps offers generic versions as well. Discrete packaging. Uh, so it's not like Seinfeld where he has to put a big thing. Keeps has more five star reviews than any of its competitors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prevention is key. Treatments can take four to six months to see results. So act fast. This is, keeps is a thing for you if you, if you're noticing it, that it's starting to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, everybody. Uh, we also wanted to give a shout out to, uh, uh, Frank Turner. He sent us a book, uh, uh, Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar, Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes. You know this book?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, do some reading, uh, to go, let me see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, learning through that. So we have, uh, uh, one thing Vanderbilt's playing, if you're, I mean, we're watching this Wednesday, so hopefully they're, hopefully it's over. Maybe they're not playing, they just swept, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We will be finding out, be watching it tonight. We're, you know, this being Monday and, uh, you know, Vanderbilt, uh, got in to the people that don't know College World Series. Vanderbilt got into it. They were supposed to play NC State in an elimination game. NC State, uh, had players that get COVID.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so they had, uh, cancel. Are they, they did no contest, so they're not letting them play. Which is terrible. No one wants that dude. Vanderbilt doesn't want that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no one's on board of that. It's insane. I don't, they shouldn't even be testing these kids. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's unreal. I mean, just, you can't let, you're letting all these fans go in and watch games and it doesn't matter. It's like, let the kids play. No one's, but there was a lot of like crazy stuff. People started attacking Vanderbilt. Like, like we had something to do with it. You're like, Vanderbilt had nothing to do with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would be upset, but it's not like I'm going to be like, well, Vanderbilt should be kicked out too. Like that doesn't make sense. That's their logic. How about you go get mad at the NCAA? We will support you. We will be on board with that, but don't start attacking Vanderbilt. Cause now I'm starting to make me happy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. We'll go win and then let it, let it be known. We did get that extra day of rest. What do you want us to do? And then we prepared. It's not like Vanderbilt's garbage. It's not like we're lucky to be there. We're dominant. We haven't played great, but we, what we did in the Stanford game was unbelievable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and so we're, we're awesome, dude. They, they, one funny thing was like, I saw an interview and I don't know when it was with that coach, the NC State coach. And I liked that coach, but he, when he said something, he goes, I don't know what's going on. There's a bug running through our team. And you're like, I don't know, maybe don't say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I don't know what that was. That's all I thought. I was like, ah, just don't mention that. I don't know, dude, we ate some, everybody ate food last night and no one could taste it. I don't know, we're having a weird tournament. Anyway, next question. And then you get tested and they're like, well, we've got to test you now. And you're like, well, you don't, yeah, don't say there's some kind of cold running through your.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess I'm gonna bug. You got some bug running through us, you know? Uh, anyway, so, uh, and you guys had a good weekend, right? Uh, we did, you did, uh, Chicago Zanies. Chicago Zanies. Four sold out shows. Why is he sold out weekend?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome. So I think the let's go folks too gives them more energy. Let's go folks. Like it starts off, you have to bring the energy up a little bit. And so when you're, when you're meeting and it's, it's, it's, uh, you would, you would feel more comfortable being like, let's go folks. And it's a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They gave a soldier, uh, who lost his legs in, uh, Iraq and they gave him a car. He walked out and his name was Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, then they, they, they brought him up. They go, these two, these guys, they were giving the car away. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, it's, it's, it's Michael Finney's, uh, I got my billboard behind me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it was a great event. He would do a golf tournament and it was, I have a bunch of magicians on it and comics. My dad would do it. I got to hang out a lot of old comics, like a lot of guys that did Carson and were on Carson a lot. And it was, it was always so fun to talk to them about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 70s and 80s comedy and then in the boom and, you know, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I always loved it and they were always so funny, dude. These dudes would just murder. Like there's just such a difference. That old comic mindset, I performed in the round, it was the first time I ever did that in Phoenix, which I've done now since then, but it was one of the first I ever got to do. And uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you do the round, one of the, one of the best was, uh, I'll have to get some of these guys names. I'm blanking on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Dreeson has been there, uh, I met, he talked to my comedy class, comedy college, and uh, when I first started comedy, Tom Dreeson came and spoke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which is pretty cool. I mean, it was like very, when I, when I first started in 2003.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I would say, it's funny to start and then go see them again later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, not that he remembers me, but I'm like, you talked in our class. Uh, and then you're doing comedy and you're like in it. Uh, but, uh, they, uh, I'll get everybody's names. Cause you could look these guys up. They're all very, very funny. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when you perform in the round, you can get confused on where you're at. And so you don't, you're kind of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you kind of make a circle. I love the performing in the round, especially for me, I don't move a lot and it makes me kind of make a circle the whole show. And so it makes me move a little more, which I think is a good thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so this guy gets done and there's exits kind of everywhere, but there's only one exit off the stage and, uh, he just walks down the wrong way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so like it's a circle and it's very easy to get disoriented. You don't, cause you don't really know where you're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when you spin, so he goes, all right, everybody. And he walks down this ramp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then everybody's like, you know, everybody goes, give it up. And they keep going. And like, I mean, like three minutes and then he just comes back on the stage and he's like, the door was locked down there and he had to go out and they had, they go, no, go out that way. And he walked out the right way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but one of them, they gave a, this vet came, he lost both his legs. He had prosthetic legs and these dudes, they were giving the car away. They go, we're going to go up and talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's never good when someone doesn't really know how to talk. It was three of them. It's either they're going to do two minutes or 40 minutes and you don't know when.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they're either going to be too nervous and just fly through it or they're going to start liking it and get a couple laughs and then they're going to keep, and you can't get them all. It's not going to be great either way. Either way it's not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they went the 40 route and did a lot, a lot of time. And then they bring out the guy and now that they've, the show's gone long, they have to bring me up pretty quickly. So they bring the guy out. It's very awesome. Give it up to Nate. They give him his keys to the car. He's crying. The whole audience is crying. They're like, all right, everybody, please welcome Nate Bargetsi. And they bring up immediately me and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wife is mean, like just whatever. I mean, I have nothing and I just, just like basically get through the set for six minutes. You know, never maybe get a laugh on the last joke, but it's like, no, and then the show kind of went back to normal. Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. That is tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, also a big thing that happened this week, uh, uh, which we have video of. Planet Fitness is no more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, yeah. When Lucy starts looking at all the nonsense bills, you're bringing her, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An education she has to pay off, going nowhere. Friendship class in Notre Dame. She's like, oh great. I get, I just get loaded with, I don't know, the most expensive debt on earth. I mean, you know, he brought MTSU and that was, they went to college 45 years ago. So he's been, he's still paying it off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then mine didn't exist. My parents paid mine off, it was $1500. I had a joke where it says $40 cash, truthfully it was $1500.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. $1,500 is all they, because my parents once, I mean, my parents like helped, we'll point everybody kind of with their college debt. And I mean, mine was, they didn't even, it was like a, it was, they told our family kind of together. Like they said, uh, you know, like my brother and sister kind of was like almost like a Christmas present.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They lump and, you know, uh, so, uh, you're playing at fitness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which we have the video, I'm sure some of you watched it. It was on air. We reposted it, right? On Nate Land. And then, uh, so if you haven't, we're going to play it for you. Uh, it's a quick video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joking. That's always the word someone says like that. Guys, don't worry about it. I know Yarson. It's a very, pretty quick video. It's going to go through quick. Uh, I wouldn't play it if it was that long. Uh, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a man that's here to cancel. You don't have to say it. It's either cancel or sign up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a thousand probably are the worst. Uh, over four years, that's not that much. But man, that's so many people that are doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It works. We, if we don't do it this way, the people that do, will use this and can afford $10 a month is like, there's a lot of people that do actually get better and healthier because of that. And then there's a lot of yous that are going to die off in groups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's such a good answer too. They're great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I'm going to sign up for Planet Fitness. I had a Planet Fitness. I think I canceled. My mom would have gotten. Your mom went in there and did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm the, I'm the white well that they, that they, that they're like, yeah, Newman, that they haven't chased in the scuffle. They've been chasing forever. Uh, yeah, that I do. I do like their business model being like, no, look, we don't care. You can cancel, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're too lazy to go work out, you're too lazy to cancel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're not too lazy to go sign up because that day is a good motivating day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I remember as they would go in and someone would say they'd have like pizza parties. I think Lewis, uh, told me that it was very funny. He's done like going to work out there and he's like, Hey, go in there like, Hey, today not working out. We're gonna have a pizza party. And you're like, yeah, that's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, you gotta, you're just trying to get people to do something. Like it's, it's, it's the people that work out real serious. They're the ones that are like, you're like, yeah, dude, you do your own thing. That's where you go to your own place. Right. This is not that. It's a judgment free zone. Judgment free zone. No grunting. Right. Turn the lung alarm on. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think there's like 70, but is there one guy that's like 79? Is there one human that is 79? With an extra organ? It's gotta be one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if I was, if you're, if you may, if whoever makes X-Men is listening to this and you want a good Southern, you know, person that's, it's not acting, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna get an overall, you know, trying to, uh, cut some weight. I've been carrying around some, carrying around a little too much. And so I started getting rid of stuff, having a garage show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Got a pretty big role. Like I would say the heart knows my name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The heart, yeah, dude, I can walk up to the heart and talk to it. I don't have to. It's not like the heart's like, who's this guy? Who's what organ is the heart? Like who is, who is, who is that guy? That's the Conor McGregor. Who is that guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, that doesn't make sense. No, I'm saying which part your heart would know about the lungs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean like, it's like the spleen. Doesn't even know it exists. Like doesn't even know, you know, like what, what is your tonsils is the heart's like, what? What are you even, who let you in here? And you're like, you're barely in. That's what he would say. You're barely in the body. You're out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I need to know what the weather is, I'll hit you up. Like other than that, beat it. Like you're, you know, I'd rather talk to the tongue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the spleen is, you know, respected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Might as well get rid of it. Might as well get rid of it. Do you think there'll be a day where they get rid of it? Like the tonsils? Like they just want to go? There's no reason for it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we don't need that. You just get rid of it. Should I? Should I just run in the store real fast and go get rid of my Pinnix? How about you not throw that in my head and let it live?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, still there. I got my tonsils and I have my wisdom tooth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, I keep it, if I relax, I'm going to go away. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People can have tails. Yeah, just to have to cut a hole in your jeans your whole life. Yeah. Just that alone. Just the tailor cost of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like you're playing a fitness. That, if you have a tail. Who had a tail and what movie did they, uh, George, or Jason Alexander has a tail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had Planet Fitness, it's gone. That was like your tail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how much we eat. Six elephants. That's all. You know, you'd think he'd eat more elephants than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Six elephants. If you think, just think of it in the elephant realm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't know, dude. There's no one, there's no way a person even knows that. There's just zero chance of that. There's zero chance I believe a doctor could ever know this, or a scientist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just go along with it. That's what you do when they tell you stuff. Two swimming pools. Come on. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How's that come without your pinky? Can't do it, can you? Yeah, no you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny cause you would know whenever it goes, what's your favorite dish and means plate or cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your favorite dish? That's a person that's kind of like, just ask it like we're talking, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be normal and just say what do you want, what's your favorite thing to eat? Like don't say dish. You saying dish, the dish, the guys, whoever asked the question is the problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. I agree with that, but like why she gets confused is cause how many people go, what's your favorite dish and mean like food? Like no one really says that either. I know you say in the right circumstance, you can say, but if you're asking me a hundred questions, just ask what kind of food I want to eat. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What, uh, what was the, if you go back to it, it said one thing is what animals have chins? Is the question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That happened. Yeah. But the human doesn't know that. So it's them against each other. And he doesn't realize he's like 16. He finally goes, are you serious? And then they come together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so someone's got to give you one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we should people just give livers away. Should give them away a lot more than you do. Once a year, just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you start just asking a couple other questions, so I can do this forever. And then he goes, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's when he goes, you know, we're the only ones that have chins. And you go, are you serious? That's how they get you off. You go, Grilla doesn't have a chin. You go, well, it doesn't. And then once you, once you start challenging that, you go, he goes, you know, you eat six elephants a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta fill some time so we can do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, yeaah, mentally you just know. We talked about that, right? Like it can be, it can be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But everybody's body is always going to be different. You're going to grow. Like that's what you always see. Everybody always says it. Like look at kids now. When you see young kids, like kids in high school, you're like, were we that big in high school? Like I don't remember being that, everybody's so big. And you're like, I don't think we were that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we had some kids that were that big, but it feels like kids look older now, a lot quicker, uh, you know, uh, all this kind of stuff. So, yeaah, I don't know, does it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it is crazy thinking like when, what would stop. Like Usain Bolt was the fastest. Someone, someone's gotta be faster than him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know if they, silly, I mean, they always, the records always look silly anyway in the fact that it's always like .5 and they're like, well, that's ridiculous. It's not, you, you, in your head, you want it to be like eight seconds. I mean, Katie Ledecky, oh, I watched hers. Did we talk about that? We've talked about her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, so, uh, the girl that came, the race was the second place and the girl that did it was 15, uh, which was kind of crazy. And I like, yeah, cause I have it, I think I got to record it cause those are show Harper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this girl was like 15 and then she...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy. And so like with her being that fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. Maybe someone's going to catch up. I mean, it's, uh, she's so, I mean, that's, she beats them by so much. They're not even in the screen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just watch her and you almost, you can almost just watch the second race and then be like, Oh yeah, by the way, just so you forget Katie's race and then she's going to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's up there getting the Diet Coke at the concession stand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she's back eating popcorn. You're like, oh, she's not racing this? No, no, she finished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, you, you, you, you've eating half the hot, like you've, no one's going to come and go, did you bite that hot dog? They realize you've eaten enough of it. They're like, oh, that's your hot dog. And how far up the stands can you get? Can you go buy it? You know, like I was like, have you already showered? Could you change? Could you have jeans on? Could you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I was gonna say. That would make the Olympics more interesting. That would get ratings up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then she's got something to race towards. Yeaah. I mean what is she racing to?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I want you to go get some, you know, have a, have some jeans on a hanger. In the locker room?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know, she barely won, but I'm sure she's 15 and she's going to the Olympics. She's gotta be. Yea. But no one's even, no one else is even close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think you could hold your breath for over three minutes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Handing that computer like a gorilla just got it. You just bent it backwards. I mean, god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have no hope, you can't survive three minutes without air, three hours without shelter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In four hours, what shelter do I, I guess the cart, I've walked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three hours out of shelter, like in a hurricane? I think it's like, extreme heat or cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can survive without air or in icy waters for three minutes. You can survive without air or in icy waters for three minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can survive for three hours without shelter in a harsh environment. You can survive for three days without water. You can survive for three weeks without food. There it is. You can? Insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you can survive without ice and water for three minutes. Oh, I read that. That was all, that was the guy, the dish question. How did you read it? I was reading it completely wrong. I was the dish guy asking her that question. That's how that was being read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you can survive, like it's- Like it's a positive. Like you can survive, like I easily can survive. But they're saying that like, no, this is all you can do. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three hours without shelter in a harsh environment. Which those that are naked and afraid is that three days without water, three weeks without food. Wow. All basic. Your body tells you this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, maybe good if you don't have the rules, maybe you can do four days because you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet I could do longer than people. I could do longer than a normal person. I never just nod off. Really? Never. I mean, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the only way is if I like really did something, like if I am not on much sleep and I'm laying there and like I could close my eyes, but I don't like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never wake up and go, I've been asleep for an hour or something like that. Like I never not off. I mean, I tried to think yesterday we had our golf club championship this weekend and I've been getting up at like seven every day and I don't go back to like two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm not on much sleep and I lay there and watch golf. And I mean I would, I would close my eyes trying to go to, but I'm trying to go to sleep. I don't ever just like, just not off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My club championship, I just missed the top 25.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I've done about the same. Like you know, you choose, sometimes it's like you're weird flights or you're not, and I don't just fall asleep. I have a hard time kind of getting there. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just don't know if I'd believe this. You can hold your breath for 17, and this dude did 23 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I wanna, is there, is it just as simple as holding your breath? Like, most of us have seen...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, plate. I don't know why I said that. Let me just catch my breath for a second. You go, I don't know why I said that. It's stupid. Uh, plate. You know. I'm sorry, let me get my brain. A bowl. A bowl. That's, okay, go ahead. And they're like, no, you're food. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It's a great Seinfeld joke. The involuntary, the bobsleigh, uh, involuntary. It's a luge, right? Luge. Yeah. He goes, ah, they put you on it. He didn't, he didn't even want to do it. World record. Mike just threw him down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just seen everything. When did she, when they die?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk about em. She was an adult. She was an adult. She could drop. 25, I mean she was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that person's gotta be like, uh, what is it? So it says, she's born 1875, 25 and 1900. 1925, she's 50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of Velmas out there. I didn't know that was an actual name. It's a good name to survive death. That's why I don't know this story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what got you headed that direction was cause you said scooby? Wait, what do you mean? Cause scooby was a made up name and then you said Velma. You go, there's another one. Pretty good. No, it's just, I never.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I've never met a shaggy either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking Shaggy. I know Dan Shaggy. But they have Shaggy clothes. Like Shaggy is like a term. Velma is like a name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. Take that. Get some, get some good stuff? I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, they're absolutely the best. But not the healthiest. I would bet they're the healthiest for you to even get to that level. You have to, you eat better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're on the side of a cliff. That's why. Like you're not, you know, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're putting yourself in heat exhaust. Those guys are in the, their activity that they're doing can put them in a bad position, but they're healthier than a guy that runs in better shape than a guy that goes, I run a mile a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I don't know. I was gonna say, I don't care. But, uh, uh, 266 is a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Like the, like Earth, like the lakes. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it ran its course. Yup. You know, uh, this is like, I think this, this would be, if this episode is a human body, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, alright. Uh, alright, that's it. Uh, let's go, folks. We'll start doing that, we'll figure that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I'm a good age though. I can identify.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To some degree with your, like why you would go out on a Monday night at midnight. I can get that, but I definitely identify now with old people, like why they don't drive at night. Cause you know, I identify with both groups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll make you feel better about yourself, as far as your intelligence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guy talked about how he did email and emailed his brother. Yeah. I was like, that's crazy, but I'm not going to do that. That's like for computer nerds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A few people suggested to make it seem more authentic, go to the bottom of Wikipedia where they do the sources and then cite them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, she didn't say that's all it was, but it was like, I think we talked about the aliens episode about how, uh, you talk about how you gotta be skeptical because you don't know what they're trying to make you do out there. Yeah. So it's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Just rooting for a girl. Just throw a tack on that joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is anybody else called president? Well, like presidents of companies or, uh, yeah, there's other countries that are presidents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We watched season one, and uhm, I mean, you see her, that's when she became queen, and her relationship with Winston Churchill, and he consults her, obviously, and she's in on all the stuff, but ultimately, it's the Prime Minister's decision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May as well not a good comparison then, because we're not going to say long live to Kardashians. They do obviously, they're very important to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jimbership? Yea. Oh yea? Yea, there should be more words like that put together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want to do that in a future episode? Yea. Alright. Have your mom on as a consultant?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so I was shocked at how many just crazy things happened in the early days of US presidents. I mean, it's just, it was just a different world back then as far as the personal


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know the three qualifications to be a US President?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, natural born citizen. Meaning, if your parents were US citizens and you were born abroad, you could still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't know. I mean, probably every city has different. Like New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know about Bill de Blasio, uhm, Cooper was raised in Shelbyville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably most are, I'm sure there's some that move there, but I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, so the other thing I, well, one thing is the security back then. It's crazy how lax it was. Like it was almost to the equivalent of maybe a celebrity now where if you go places, you got to maybe a couple of people with you. You got a guy who makes sure nobody gets too close, but does about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, the White House was still open just to walk in, even during the Civil War. Wow. When we're, this country's literally fighting against each other and people could just enter the White House every day. They just left Pennsylvania Avenue's door open all day long. Sometimes even to the evening, they said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it didn't change till the late 1800s when they had to have a door policy for people coming in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you could, you know, maybe like a mayor or something where you just, you might just run into him somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Wilkes Booth killed Lincoln. He was an actor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Wilkes Booth was. His brother was the most successful actor of 1800. He was like the Tom Hanks of that time. Oh wow. And of course they didn't have movies, but they had plays and he was a huge star. And John Wilkes Booth's brother saved Abraham Lincoln's son from falling off a train track.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So that story is pretty crazy about talking about security.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he had no security when they shot and killed him. And no one like stopped him coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ulyssa says Grant, the Union General, uh, was supposed to go with him to the play and he said he always regretted it because he thinks he could have stopped the guy, but he never did. But the guy who was the bodyguard that let him, that let it happen, did not get fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got reprimanded, but kept his job, ended up body, uh, guarding the Lincoln's wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this is just a crazy stat. So John Adams was the second president of the United States. Thomas Jefferson was the third. They both died on the same day, July 4th, 1826, on the 50 year anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then five years after that, James Monroe, the fifth president died on July 4th. Really? So three of the first five presidents died on July 4th. Patriotic. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the surplus? Thomas Jefferson claimed to be an accomplished architect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he designed his famous home at Monticello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] James Madison, the fourth president, was the shortest, smallest president ever. He was five foot four and weighed a hundred pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, John Quincy Adams was a huge fan of skinny dipping every day. He did it every morning at the Potomac River. Finally, a female reporter knew it and sat on his clothes until he granted her an interview. First female reporter to get an interview with the president.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if he's alone, but apparently cause she got his clothes. Wow. She could get to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, killed a guy, didn't even hurt his presidential candidacy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were just into it. It did. Back then it said, many American men, especially in the South, view duel as a time honored tradition. Dueling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one time while he was president, a guy tried to assassinate him. It was the first...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Attempt on a president. The gun, uh, misfired. He pulled out a second pistol, it also misfired. Andrew Jackson, now furious, this guy's tried to shoot him twice, took his cane and beat the guy to a pulp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Davey, Davey Crockett had to pull him off of him before the guy got killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got so many deals, he got tangled up twice with the governor of Tennessee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? John Sevier, who was the governor, they traded shots in a crowd, and the only person that got hit was a woman standing close by. Uhm, and then they met a second time in Knoxville for a duel, and they got so heated that John Sevier's horse ran away with the pistols, and so they had to cancel the duel. Oh, that man's just the frustration of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he's the Governor of Tennessee, and he's just meeting people to f-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they said they, Andrew Jackson could have fought 12 duels, could have fought a hundred. They're not sure. They have no idea. He was out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe married him before last marriage was annulled. Okay. So people accused her of being adulterer and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rachel Donaldson, who Donaldson's named after. And he would fight for his wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it got so bad at Jackson's funeral, they had to remove the parrot from the funeral because it was cussing so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1400 pound block of cheddar cheese in the White House for anyone to come have some of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, people loved him, the politicians hated him because he was so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm. Martin Van Buren, Van Buren boys. He was the eighth president. He was from Kinderhook, New York and they called him old Kinderhook and then they shortened it to okay. And that's where the phrase okay comes from. Oh wow. Like if you said you're okay, that means you're with Martin Van Buren.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Number nine, William Henry Harrison. He gave the longest inauguration speech ever, hour 45 minutes. Unfortunately, he did it out in the cold with no coat or hat, developed pneumonia and died 30 days later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, John Tyler had 15 children. One of his grandsons is still alive today. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Tyler, the 10th president of the United States. He was president in the 1840s and his grandson is still alive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a few that I was like, I think I've heard of this guy, but you were told me to list all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then his dad, I guess he had, I mean his son, excuse me, lived a very long life and had a kid and then had a kid pretty late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The 12th president, Zachary Taylor, was munching on cherries and ice milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And bacteria either in the cherries or the milk led to his death a few days later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They exhumed his body in 1991 to see if, test to see if he was poisoned, but the results showed he did not have enough arsenic in his levels in his body to be poisoned. So I think it was just bacteria that killed him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was never convicted, uh, because there's, there's insufficient evidence, but he was charged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, he kept letters and documents in his hat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's in the, uhm, yeaah. He's in the Wrestling Hall of Fame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had 300 matches and only lost once. Wow. Cause he was so ugly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] James Garfield was shot a few months into his presidency by assassin and died 11 weeks later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doctors tried using a newly invented metal detector to locate the bullet, but the metal bed springs kept messing up the results, leading doctors to cut in the wrong places. On top of this, the doctors kept introducing bacteria into his body with their unsterilized prying fingers. So they led to his death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Chester Arthur wanted to redecorate the White House and they didn't have the funds for it, so he had an auction and sold all the old stuff, including Lincoln's pants and one of John Quincy Adams' hats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grover Cleveland was the 22nd and 24th president. He personally answered the White House phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He became the legal guardian of his friend's 11 year old daughter and 10 years later he married her at the White House. Alright. Different time back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had mouth cancer and they tried to keep it secret, so they rented his buddy's yacht and they went out in the water and did emergency surgery so nobody would know about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so, yeaah. They said he had a, uh, huge depression in his mouth, so they didn't, didn't completely do it well, but he survived.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so now we got white, now we got electricity in the White House. This is, uh, late 1800s. Uhm, Benjamin Harrison was the first president to have electricity, but he once got shocked. So he and his entire family were too scared to touch the light switches and would leave the lights on throughout the night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. They're too scared to touch it. But who knows, back then you probably would get electrocuted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what you mean, what was in it? Probably feathers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] William McKinley wore a carnation as a good luck charm, but one day he gave a little girl his carnation from his lapel and was shot by his assassin a short time later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got shot in the chest, but his metal glasses slowed the bullet and his days of hunting realized if he's not coughing up blood, he's probably okay. So he finished his 90 minute speech. Told the folks, folks I've been shot, but I don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but there was a lot of attempts and a few that succeeded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was the youngest, uh, president. He, he took over because McKinley was assassinated at age 42.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, John F. Kennedy was the youngest to be inaugurated at age 43. But was shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a story about him refusing to shoot a bear on a bear cub on a hunting trip. And toy makers thought, oh, we should make a toy. So they call it the teddy bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then the next guy that came along, uhm, William Howard Taft, he wanted to do the Billy Possum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got, there was a rumor that he got stuck in his bathtub and they had to pull him out, but they think that's probably not true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was the first president to throw out the first pitch at a baseball game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next president, Woodrow Wilson, was the first golf-loving president. He loved it so much that he would even play in the wintertime in the snow and use black golf balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Warren G. Harding played poker at the White House and he lost a bet one time and had to give up an entire set of official White House China in a poker game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most people do. Wow. Most people are dumb. Most people are dumb like you, Aaron. Most people are dumb like you, Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, Calvin Coolidge made someone rub Vaseline on his head every morning while he ate breakfast. Supposed to help the skin. This is when it made the turn. Yeah. Yeah. Well, not yet. Herbert Hoover's son had two pet alligators who ran around the White House. Oh, that's awesome. Pictures of them, I think. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh that's a good one. James Buchanan was the only president who never married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Dwight Eisenhower put a golfing, putting green in the White House.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now we're getting somewhere. Uh, we're almost done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So maybe talk about what we would do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lyndon B. Johnson fought in World War II, he was on a plane that was about to take off, got off to go use the bathroom, his plane took off, he got on another plane, but that first plane crashed and everyone died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he became president much later, but he was fighting in World War II.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. He, uhm, played golf a lot and he was terrible and one historian said he would take up to 400 swings during an 18 hole round. He just hit another one until he found one he liked. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who was the last president even, George HW Bush fought in a war? He's probably the last one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gerald Ford had two different assassins try to take his life within a span of 17 days. Both were women. It's kind of crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I remember going with my mom, went to the voting booth when she voted the 1976 election. Yeah. Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I looked up the presidents when you guys were born. Do you know who the president was when you were born?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. Who's still alive. That's pretty crazy. The president, when you were bored, is dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 years later. We're not 20, 15, something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first time I could have voted, uh, I guess the 92 election?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll do a couple more. Jimmy Carter was the, he's the longest living president of all time. He's 96.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he and his wife have been married almost 75 years. The longest couple to ever be married. And he saw a UFO before he was president.