[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's some 15 year old social media fucking idiot who's like, Crystal Knight? That sounds like fun. A Knight of Crystals? Yeah, sure. We're KFC Big Bucket Challenge. How many should you be on Crystal Knight?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, by the way, talking of KFC, I've been playing a lot of Football Manager lately, unrelated to the story, but it means between games and stuff while the game's processing, I have a lot more time to fart about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in addition to looking around a number of British towns and realizing how dogshit most of our country is once you get into the urban areas, I looked up about the history of KFC and Colonel Sanders in particular. It's a very long story. It would be a, it would be a triforce in itself in all honesty. He led a very, very odd and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, not true, not true. He was not a military colonel, but he was a different kind of colonel. So you can be given. I'll tell you what it is. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, he was commissioned as a Kentucky colonel, and the Kentucky colonel is the highest title of honor bestowed by the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Uh, it's like a, uh, an honorary colonelcy. So, if you're saying that that's not sufficient colonel-ness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that's fair. For one thing, what if I get to be a Colonel in peacetime and I never ever fire a gun or see action? Which definitely happened. Some people get to be Colonel without doing any fucking fighting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you wipe, like, what, like if you're driving and it's really raining, what, what do you do? Like, uh, you just drive faster and let the wind take all the water off the windshield?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the psychology is behind some of the bumper stickers, like the four doors, uh, more room for whores and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't have a sticker for ours, but we had a, uhm, like where we bought our car from. There's no sticker, but, and this is really interesting, there was like a customized


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's, it's, we have like, uh, we have like an insurance disc. It's like a, like a paper, but it is, it's, uh, it's, it's your actual insurance. It's displayed like right on your, your windshield.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It used to be the case, I don't think- I think it says UK now. You don't see them much anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about those, it's not like a sticker on the outside of your car, but usually stick it to like the inside of your windscreen or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ever seen those, those, uh, those eyelashes that they put on to like headlights and stuff as well?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when you're a kid, that's always the case, right? Like the first time I ever drank, you know, like, I don't know if you guys remember the first time you ever had beer in your life, but it's like, it's kind of gross, right? The first time, like it's a, it's a taste that you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get accustomed to, but when you're younger, I don't think your taste buds are ready for it sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right from the outset. Yeah, beer for me was like that. And then, like, I mean, liquor as well, but liquor is, is, uh, you can be a bit more subtle with it though, right? Like if you mix it with something nice or whatever, but I've definitely had instances where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At length, yeaah. I mean, like if we're both, if we both happen to be in Bristol at the same time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not super often, no. Even then though, like, I'll drink socially, but like, I don't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really get drunk, I get sort of like sleepy before I get to the point where I'm drunk, like so, like I'll get a bit tipsy or whatever, but I mean the last time I was like anywhere near, I don't ever think I've been blackout drunk in my life, like I've had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've definitely been very drunk, but uh, but, but not so drunk that I've made any


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I had like a pint of cider or something with food, I'd be fucking dead. Like I'm just ready to go to sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I always just figured that that was the case because usually the places where you would see that happen, and I mean, I've only ever seen it happen in movies or on TV or whatever, but they seem to be a lot more low key.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Situations, right? It's kind of quiet, there's no like, PA, there's no loud music or anything, you know, it's like, so it would be kind of weird to have somebody just speaking in a normal speaking voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love, I love me some big pipes. Oh yeah, I see them. Oh shit. Yeah. Look at, man, the engineering is so fucking impressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta feel so satisfied to be involved on a project like that and see that as like the end result. Like it's fucking awesome man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you know what I think they should do? They should flush, uh, Boris down it. You know, like to test, like to do an end to end test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slide at center parks or something like that. You know, you just wait at the end. That's what I think they should do. That's how they should open every, every piece of civil engineering. They should just flush force. Just drop some MP down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Line, the Queen Elizabeth line, which costs like 10 billion or something to make. It was a bit delayed. COVID delayed it as well, but it opened this year, right? Like earlier this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the engineering around it is insane. Like they used some old, but they had to sort of retrofit some old buildings and attach new stations onto them without, because a lot of the old stuff is listed, without damaging it. Some of the brand new stuff is just fucking insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy though how much we take for granted, right? Like anytime you leave your house, there's a road, there's drainage, there's sewage, there's lights, everything, and we take it all for granted. Nobody ever thinks like how this stuff gets there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a magazine. Yeaah. Yeaah. A PC game or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can change the T to be all sorts of things though. You could say, it means I have a tender penis. I have a throbbing penis. I have a uhm, a tight, tactile. There's all sorts of things you can change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, uh, my final project for programming in, uh, in college was we had to write a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, multi-threaded chat application in Java. So I had to write software to host a server.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I had to distribute in the lab to 10 other people that were in my course, uh, chat client, and they had to open the client on their computer and connect to the server that I created and chat for like 10 minutes without it all crashing and throwing up errors and stuff. That was my final project.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're trying to find a perfect, uh, betrothal and, um, the text in the dialogue box says, careful, this could result in the children becoming inbreds, so. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this wouldn't have happened if that person hadn't done what he'd done in the first place, though. You know what I mean? Like, they're upset rightfully so, and through their grief and upset, they think that other people must know the truth, because it's, you know, essential or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get it, some people might not want to know that, or might not need to know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no accounting for the fact that somebody's upset about something. I mean, think of the last time you were upset about something, you weren't 100% rational either. Like it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not just that, but they also have to be careful about who they, cause they, cause they have no idea who they're actually related to, because this guy behaves so unethically, like it's, it has longer terms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't break any laws? No, but the thing, there's probably no strict laws against it because it's not something that happens commonly at all. Like there's probably like a handful of cases like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Designed for, uh, horses and carts, right? For, for agriculture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, all they've done is just paved them over with tarmac. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, but the problem is that there's lots of like what they call green lanes, which appear to be the size of a one-way road, but they're two ways. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, but you're trying to get, you're trying to drop your daughter off at her gymnastics lesson, which is at like a fucking house in the country. And then there's three other houses that use that same road to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like if you live in the city, you're not, you're not just driving in the, in the countryside all the time. Like, uh, like a hundred percent of our driving is this. Like, cause you can't help but be driving in the countryside, right? So. Yeah. You're basically a series of small villages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's hilly too, so we have like lots of, uhm, lots of roads that are quite steep, so lots of hill starts and stuff like that. So when you're learning to drive, you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mid-October through to about, uh, April, uh, a lot of stuff closes, like, hospitality, like, winds down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. There's lots of little weird Christmas traditions in like what is shown and stuff too, right? Like a lot of people say that they watch Die Hard because it's a Christmas movie. And like, it is, I guess, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was a kid, the big ones for Christmas were how the Grinch stole Christmas, the animated one from like the 60s or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that was always on and, uh, Mickey's Christmas Carol. Right. So another Disney one where it was, uh, it was a Christmas Carol, but it was, you know, with Mickey and Goofy was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and Scrooge McDuck was, uh, was, uh, was Ebenezer Scrooge, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's six degrees here, partly sunny at, uh, 1007, uh, a.m. Uhm, my, uh, my longitude and latitude are, uh, fu- I'm not sure, actually. I don't know how to figure that out, but I was just trying to be really specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I didn't even get a chance to talk about stuff that I wanted to last time, because you guys were- Did you know- Not really, no. Like, I had a whole bunch of stuff ready for once, and uh- Well, fuck it, away!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and now, uh, a fully and proud owner of a modified Game Boy Advance, okay? Right. It's, uh, it's been modified in many ways. Uh, the original screen has been replaced with, like, basically, uh, a current day phone screen, so it looks wonderful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got cartridge reader, it's not just got all the games on it. No, no. So you do need to have the cartridges, which you can just buy off eBay or whatever. You know, there's places that you can get the cartridges. I have a couple of games for it, like WarioWare 4 and this other one that has like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can tilt the Game Boy Advance, and it's got like all these mini games where you have to like, feed a guy, or like, uh, you know, do like a clock ticking in time and stuff, but you can like tilt the Game Boy back and forth to achieve this sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and the original Game Boy Tetris as well, which, which works in it. Very OG. It's also, it's also been modified so that it doesn't need batteries. You can, you can charge it up with a USB-C thing, so it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it's awesome. It looks nice. It's got like all the beautiful sort of of its time pixel graphics. You know, these are all the original games like the cartridges and it's really nice because my son was playing it the other day and it made me think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How great like the, like the old technology was in a lot of ways, but in this way specifically, it's not online at all. There's no like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Him and the game, and I think, you know what I mean? I think that's a powerful thing, I think it's an important thing as well. Like, you can get bogged down with all of this other crap, but like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course, so, it's, it's, um- Oh, you have to paint, do you have to paint a rail- railroad? You have to, like, paint-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, once you have, if you have a shovel with some efficiency enchants on it as well, that shit melts like butter. Boom, exactly. Jump down and we can crack on. You can dig so much of it in such a little time, it's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to, I would like to add to the final eight, if I, if I may, uh, iron, an iron block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The finished iron block. Just the block itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, just an iron ore block. The reason for this is because they're so hard to find in the current patch, because I don't know if you know much about where Minecraft's at right now, but this caves and cliffs update came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, uh, it's made the world deeper and it's made the world higher. So remember like, uh, years ago, you used to go down to like, uh, minus, uh, 12 or whatever, right? Was like the sweet spot for finding diamonds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's, that's all, that's no longer the case. You have to go down to like minus 58 because everything has changed. Like there's bigger mountains topside and deeper caves like down, down under, right? So you have to dig even further to get to the sweet spot for diamonds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is annoying because, uh, it used to be the case that while you were at minus 12 and you were, you were strip mining for diamonds and stuff, you would always come across lots of gold and iron and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Iron doesn't tend to spawn like low where the diamonds are now, so you have to find like a sweet spot to find iron and it's like, it's tedious and you're always without iron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of the best, honestly, because you need iron for so many things. Like, uh, like eventually later on in the game, because you don't find that much gold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you beat the, uh, if you, if you get the, um, the, uh, the wither star thing and you want to make a beacon so that you can like mine faster or, or whatever, you need tons of iron to make iron blocks to make the, the, like the pyramid, right? For the, for the big buff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, like, overall, yeaah, I would say it is, yeaah, iron ore is better. Diamond's really good, like, obviously, but once you've gotten enough diamonds to get gear and you've upgraded all your gear and stuff, you don't really need them anymore. Like, you just end up having a ton of them and you just don't really need them. But iron you always need, right? Like, you need it to build stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, now I do, yeah. Don't get me wrong, I love finding some Dia Mondays, but uhm, it's really nice to find some iron now too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, you could put lava in a bucket and you can use that as a fuel source instead of like coal and stuff as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You end up getting tons of it and it's just like you use it kinda, but it's so common, right? Like it's just not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just not exciting enough for me, you know? Like, I wouldn't put it into a top eight, for sure. Okay, what about cobblestone? No way. God no. Man, you just get so much of it. It's like, as much as I like dirt and cobblestone and stone and stuff, and like, I store it, you just get so much of it. It's just not, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say no. Yeah, no, I wouldn't say it's one of my favourites. It's a cool block, but it's not. It's not the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think glass is like so, uh, essential, right? You, you end up using it all the time for different bits and pieces. Like it's gotta be in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's not entirely true though, because you can use glass as, uh, like say, uh, like a platform where mobs, mobs can't spawn on glass. So that's useful as well, if you need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A spot where it might be dark and mobs could spawn on it, but they won't because they can't spawn on glass. So it's kind of useful in that sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but half slabs are kind of annoying because they, uhm, you can't, like, you have to put it on the lower part of the half slab, right? Because if you put it on the upper part of the half slab, they can spawn on that. It's the lower part that they can't spawn on, but then, you can't place anything on top of that either, because you'll have the gap, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really, but it just is useful sometimes, like if you, if you have a place where, you know, a creeper could spawn for example, you don't want them to spawn, then you can use glass to make it so that they don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say grass, yeah. Let's put grass on there. Dirt, not so much, but grass, for sure, right? It looks nice. It's iconic. It's nice, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you could buy a plushie of a grass block. That's how, that's how big time the grass block is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ever just wanna, you ever just wanna, like, nestle your face in between two gigantic silicone worlds?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, you couldn't, you'd, you'd just, you'd die, like, it's too hot, right? It's like, it's way too hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What would you do? Yeah, but what would you even do down there? There's nothing to see. It's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can make beams, like log beams in your house and stuff, which is kinda cool, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you have to have one, but it's not my favourite block. I mean, who cares, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kids love to make roller coasters, yea. Even though the roller coaster was awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I wouldn't say so, no. They're pretty, like, they're useful, but like, kinda boring too, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think water could go on there, yea. If lava's on there, then yea, water should be on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was pretty, pretty sweet actually. Like, you just say, if we were to put something on there like, woah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. The concrete block, there's like millions of different colors you can have, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, yeah? Well, I mean, it's good, it's a good one to use for decorating, uh, you need it for like enchanting and stuff too, like it's a really useful block. I honestly rate Bookshelf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm pretty ambivalent towards it, honestly, like, I've never thought about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, take glass out there, out there then, so that we can keep on, I think glass can, can go now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like doing a book report at school. It's like doing a group book report at school and nobody wants to do it. But you know you have to hand it in in an hour, so everybody's just like, reluctantly trying to finish it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So how iconic a block is seems to carry a lot of weight in this, uhm, in this analysis that we're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's the guy he was streaming, right? And he...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lit like a little piece of paper on fire or something and then it just got progressively worse and worse and worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing, yeaah, without people doing the lists and spitting the truths, how are they ever going to get the feedback they need to make a better game? Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Placing it in the world normally renders it as a block. Unless you're placing an item into an item frame, which is not a block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, ice is great, it looks nice, uh, it's good to... it's slippery. It's pre-OG as well. You can row a boat on ice very fast as well, which is nice. Can you? Yeah, you can. So it's good fun? It's good fun, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, less fun, it looks cool, but it's, uh, you can now, you can now sink into the sand, and, uh, and- It's a snow. And, and, sorry, snow. And like suffocate and freeze to death in it, so it's- Oh god. Yeah, it's scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you can keep going and going and going. It's procedural, right? You can keep going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but that's, uh, some people are just like that. Like, uh, for example, kidnappers. You know, like when you kidnap somebody, they don't like you. You're, you're holding them against their will and, and stuff, you know, it's just, uh, it's, it's like a gateway into a life of kidnapping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're okay, but like, not, not like, they're not my top blocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just forgot about cake, honestly. Like, I can't remember the last time I even made cake in Minecraft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Glowstone, yeah, glowstone is pretty good, right? It's like, just a natural illuminated block, which is always useful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dennis Hopper as a block. Yeah. Driving a bus, he's driving- Being furious. He's furiously driving a bus and laughing at somebody. Uh, slime block?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can make basically like a slime block in Minecraft and stuff sticks to it. So like a common thing that you would use it for is to uhm, uh, attach like a big row of them together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then just instead of having like eight pistons to move eight blocks, you could have one piston to move eight slime blocks because they just attach to each other, right? So you just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmm, sea lanterns I really like actually, they're really nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's an illuminated block, but it's like, uhm, you know, like how you can get like different colors of bulbs, but like, you know, like you can get like the hot white or like the sort of like, uhm, almost like the candle glow color, you know, it's like almost like a, like a brown, like golden or brownish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sort of, you know. Yeah. So the, so the, the sea lantern is like a hot white, but it's not super bright, but it still illuminates and it just looks nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just looks really good. You know, it's like an LED or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Magma is kinda like a hardened lava, so you can walk right on it without sinking into it, and it will damage you, but you can also-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well in Minecraft, I don't know, but in Minecraft that's what it is, and if you place it under water and you swim over top of it, it will pull you down towards it. So it's good for like elevators and stuff, if you wanna make water elevators.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, it almost looks like a tile or something. It's like a purple tile-y sort of texture, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As much as I love iron ore blocks, it's gotta be log, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've changed my mind. I think log is just a bit more iconic, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's gotta be bookshelf. It's bookshelf for me. You're the decider.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let the world burn! For me, I'm going grass. It's up to you, Lewis. Whatever you decide is gonna be the, uh, the outcome. But yea, for me it's grass, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you have to do like they do on The Apprentice. And for that reason, you know, I can't decide. I'm torn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys were not into that anyway. That was a bad choice by me, I thought you would be more interested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we didn't. They got, they got, it got a lot better. So, uhm, anyway. I mean, these, this, this complaint is out of date already, basically. We've solved it. We've solved it. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That one's solved. Good job everybody. This is the podcast where we go over things we've already talked about, which is the essence of the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like tennis now. We cannot have this, we cannot have the same, we cannot have every podcast going back and forth saying these, sorry, like the Mailbaggy sort of takes his back, his episode, right? Well, it could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the, here's the situation. I'm sure some Jehovah's witnesses go out there, first knock on the door, convert, right? Others.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thousands and no one's, no one's, everyone's slamming the door in their face, they're getting bitten by dogs, you know, like they're getting lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, you know, being invited in for tea with an old lady and they're in there for hours and hours and they're trapped and then, you know, locked in the basement and then finally escape, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe they're just naturally more charming. Maybe they're, you know, maybe they've got, you know, that little sales technique that works, you know, they, maybe they're like, I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a map actually that showed like how three generations of kids have grown up in the same house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They showed like the areas that they, uhm, wandered to, right? Or played in, right? Or were allowed to play in. And the grandparents were like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's a different, it's really like- The world has shrunk a bit in that sense. We're so fit, we're so scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably, it's probably rightly so. I mean, probably, probably a lot less kids are being abducted. I don't know if it was out there. Yeah, that's the thing. Jesus. Man. I'm joining in in the fear. I dunno. I feel like, is it actually scarier out there than it was? But I think certainly you, you would be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's it, yeah. We were back when it was dark, and we were often playing inside anyway at someone's house, y'know, it wasn't like we were, y'know, the Lost Boys or fucking, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever rules for dating my daughter or whatever, like yeaah. Something like that. That did sound way worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's hilarious. Sorry, this is unbelievable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a spy being bugged in a hotel room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how bad- It's how you make it. Were you shitting on Wisconsin or was I? Is this like a Canadian thing that you- cause it was over the border from you from- No, no, no, it wasn't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it's awesome. I thought it was, I just thought it was like, I think I thought it was in a different place, I thought it was more on the north, well I guess it is on the Canadian border, but I guess it's not got a land border has it, it's like one of these lake states. I thought it just got very cold, it was very homely, I thought it was very Fargo, but I guess it maybe isn't. Yeah, I think it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just a throwaway comment, right? It's probably an interesting, nice place, like everywhere, with millions of people living there, so, you know, I guess it's got a variety. It's known for dairy, it's the dairy steak, got a lot of cheese there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it feels to me like it's one of those states that people would forget about when they were now trying to name all 50 of the states. You know what I mean? I could be wrong. Wisconsin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, along with like Nebraska.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Connecticut, you know, and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but is that more or less distracting the music, you know? I certainly could imagine our chat getting people riled up and angry, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, people, you can imagine like the rage building up. No, I don't know whether any of it, it must happen. It's just, it's just a matter of numbers, right? Yeah. Like, car accidents. I wonder how-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always wonder how, sometimes you see these like places, you know, filled like graveyards filled with cars that have been involved in, you know, write-offs basically. And there's just as far as the eye can see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, J from Tesco or whatever. Don't say Tesco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is just, to me this sounds like a conspiracy, but also just feeds into my paranoia about everyone, about corporate greed, and everyone trying to take advantage of you, and like, oh. But you can see how it's the case, right? Like, so, these days, everything... You buy a TV, people would... Who's buying a TV in a store?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, like, I'm older than that shit online usually. Or if I buy it in a store I'll be looking it up online to see how much it is online, and see if the prices, like, match, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my tip is, fucking just go there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On holiday, see if you like it, stay there for a month, and if you fucking can't stand it because it is freezing cold or, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, oh, okay. We got three different angles there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember when you came to Bristol Zoo when your son was pretty young and you spent like two or three hours there but it was entirely on the toy in front of the zoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is true, yeaah, I've seen this before. It's always accompanied by like a, a sort of, a specific sort of sound when you sort of see it. What is it, like a wedgie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very much like a wedgie, yeah. But it's, it's, it's almost like a wet wheelie or something, I guess, except it's, it's like you poke, you poke him in the arse. I don't think it's supposed to go- You like poke him up the arse. Yeah, like right up the butt. Like right up there. I think it's, yeah, but like fully clothed, so it's kind of like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely not okay. We should stop this. Kancho should be shut down. You wanna shut it down. I bet you there's gonna be a fervent group of hardcore Kancho lovers who are obsessed with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's a fetish and they're gonna be like on the right, you know, the alt-right Cancho fans. You can't stop me doing Cancho! You know, all these woke modern millennials coming in saying I can't figure someone's butthole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a lot of this weird stuff in Japan. You've been, uh, Sips. Yeah, I never had that done to me, to be honest. No, but you've seen loads of weird shit. I have seen some weird shit in Japan, yeah. So that just fits in with all the other weird shit just fine. It is a weird place, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like a good- Unions are great, aren't they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're coming from a place of good, right? It's not like they're, they're, they're somehow the work doing the devil's work. They, they're trying to, they believe that they're helping us by saving our souls or letting us know that this, this thing that we don't know. I think that's the point is that they've, they've got this


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reading of something, it's almost like Pascal's wager, right? You know, Pascal's wager is a very classic idea that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of work really to, to, to go and pray a little bit, uh, just to, uh, just to avoid the risk. Sure. Of, of eternal, um, hellfire. And, and, and so these, I always, when I look at religious people,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Understand where they're coming from it from a place of A, they were brought up in that community.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're brainwashed in a sense, but they're trapped, right? All of their family and friends and relatives and place where they live, they have to be in that community and they can't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not do it. And the cost of it is too high. It's not just the risk of eternal damnation and all the other negative things that the church tells you it'll be, but it's being alienated by your family and friends or spouse or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, whatever, like, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of trapped in it. And so I feel sorry for people who are trapped in it, um, who are rational and, but can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, screaming inside, but maybe it is, um, also a nice thing to do. Gets you out there walking around banging on people's doors, meeting some interesting people. Maybe it's, maybe it's a good life. And, and so, you know, if, if you're, if you're doing it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then again, it's like fortune telling, isn't it? Or any of this stuff. You're gonna, what you're doing is you're exploiting the ignorant and the vulnerable. You know, the people who you trap into your religion and suck in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are people who are at their lowest point or weak or unable to resist, you're preying on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the, the, the ignorant and the, and in a sense, maybe you're saving them. Maybe, maybe someone is having a really bad mental health day and they need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rational thought is, is surely a better, a better, better thing. But maybe, maybe I'm wrong and I'm willing to be wrong. And you know, you guys do you. I'm a pretty rational person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't let other people tell you what to do. Don't let me tell you what to do. If you're happy doing what you're doing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Knock it on people's doors or you've got a life that, you know, you're content and you found contentment in. I'm happy for you. And I wouldn't, I'm not trying to change your mind. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to anti convert you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't wanna. We care. We care! Fuck! Alright, fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but uhm, I don't expect you to, not knowing what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's reached the point now where you could definitely use it and people would love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're trying to steal this idea from Sips, bear in mind it only works with him in it. It doesn't work with you in it. Exactly. So don't try and steal it. You will fail. Timing is everything. Both of you will look foolish. You will both have eggs. You will both have eggs on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea of women speaking out and just being grabbed and other men policing other men and saying, what the fuck are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That didn't happen back then. If you know dudes were just grabbing these women, like that was it. And when the women were crowd-surfing, they were just getting groped the whole time. God knows how many sexual assaults took place. I would say if you were a woman at that event and you didn't get sexually assaulted,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the music was, but oddly enough, I think it was a pretty chill decade. It was, not bad, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, when I think back to the 90s, I don't think about, I mean obviously, I'm just talking about UK-centric here, but uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it was like, it wasn't, it wasn't that bad. It didn't feel like, uh, like nowadays where everything seems fucking insane. The other, the other thing that I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all, you spent several days winding this crowd up because if the music is making them angry, which it does, normally that's just a release.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The organiser, that guy, the guy with the curly hair, the organiser, he had the most punchable fucking face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A friend of mine went out with him, uh, not as in on a date, but uhm, to a nightclub. Uhm, and they went like super late and Ordain was like, let's fucking go. Like I'll get the full story and I'll tell it on a later podcast if I can, but it was essentially my mate who was a young lad was, was absolutely fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In awe of just how much Bordenka put away, his stamina, his energy, the dude was just like a machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I think obviously that's not normal to be like that at that age. And I think it's just a constant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but to be constantly looking for that buzz, uh, you know, he needed, he needed something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he went off and, uh, I think he quit showbiz and he went off. Did he do a country music album I believe? Let me check. Rick Moranis is an interesting guy because he was, started off with Second City and all that stuff in, uh, Canada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ghostbusters, Brewster's Millions, Little Shop of Horrors, Spaceballs, Ghostbusters 2, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Parenthood, LA's Story,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then nothing, basically for the rest of his career just did some voiceover stuff, and uhm, I think he just kind of stopped. He just decided, you know what, no, I'm done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, interesting, uh, I-I-I guess he had, uh, a pretty great, uh, career. I mean, he was certainly, he was in all kinds of big movies and would have, he's like, uh, you know, Saturday Night Live and, uhm, Second Scene and all that kind of stuff, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like leaving your keys in your car, and instead of the car being outright stolen, a group of strangers you've never met go over every inch of your car, take notes of all the little details, all everything that they can find in the vehicle, they make notes of it and sell it to other people, so they can advertise to you about what a filthy, dirty car you have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, people can't deal with a title that's too descriptive, I think. It's either overly descriptive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go in, if the movie is called Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, you're like, I know exactly what this is gonna be. If it's called Shrunk, well that could be edited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I also like to watch some bad movies. I like to balance it out. Because sometimes a movie that's been very badly reviewed is actually really good. Sometimes. And sometimes a really good movie that everybody loves you don't enjoy at all. So it can't be too dismissive. And I'm also fascinated to see bad movies. Like I really am. They're fascinating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The setup is really poor. Like it's, it's like he's seen a bunch of other movies and then tried to stick them in. So there's a kind of, uh, Mark Kermode does a really good review of this if you, I watched the movie and then people said you should watch Mark Kermode's review. I did. And I was like, the problem with Kermode's review is, and bear in mind, Mark Kermode loves the Twilight movies. Alright, so let's take Mark Kermode's reviews with a pinch of salt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's a big fan, legitimately. Like, there's a bunch of things that Mark Kermode is like, he's a film critic, so he's never gonna just be a normal person. He's always gonna have some weirdo take, because that's how you get column inches, and that's a nice way to make people think, wow, isn't he interesting, but no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Twilight sucks. Moonfall sucks. They can both suck. Both things suck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and we don't need to be cute about it, so I find that kind of annoying. This is a bad film, because the characters don't make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of the script. Like I think a lot of the time when it's that stupid, no one's read it and thought, does this make sense? Is this even logical? Is this in any way adhering to science? Even just a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then they say, if we can get this alien out of there, uh, the moon should just return to its original course. Halle Berry says that line. And I'm like, why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just because you changed its orbital path. It's now been slowed down or sped up. If you speed it up, it's gonna go further away. You slow it down, it's gonna come closer. You can't speed up and slow down the moon, Earth. We don't have it in us, alright? It's beyond us. We're sending space shuttles up there, which is another thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just makes no sense. And then the guy who was his mate, Jon Snow's mate in Game of Thrones, he was the one who said, oh, Jon, I, yeah, I don't know about that. Jon, the sort of panicky, Mr. Mannering one, uh, who could have been a dad's son. Oh, Sam Tarly. Yeah, Sam Tarly, him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2011. Okay, so that could have been the last flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, it was weird. They just didn't believe him. When he says they got attacked by aliens, they're like, pfft, solar flare. And there's no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you, what, there's so many films where this is the case, once you notice it, it's hard to unsee. How do you set the scene for, this guy's kind of a fuck up, he lives alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His apartment's a mess, he wakes up and opens his fridge, and there's just a beer in there, and of course he just, bang, opens the beer, smokes a cigarette, and they're like, where are you, McClollock?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he has probably a motorcycle or a very cool car, uh, and uh, you know, his place is just a fucking dump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy in reality would turn up to work stinking of booze and B.O. His dog would be a mess because I don't think he would ever bother taking the time to brush him or clean him or fucking walk him. When's he walking the dog? When is this character taking his dog for a walk? Never.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently, called a moonfall is a perfectly acceptable, uh, way to portray a character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think that a lot of the people that write these are just fucking hacks. And it's much easier to just copy another character than it is to write a new one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to see the grizzled, uh, veteran detective who has a terrible memory and has to constantly write the name of the suspect on his arm and then he gets confused because he's got all these old cases. Alright, looks like I'm gonna catch the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The clown cap killer? No, uh, Detective, uh, Forgetful. We, uh, we did that two years ago. Don't you remember? Here's a picture of us with him in handcuffs. Oh yeaah, right. Alright, well, uh, what about this guy? You know, he's going through all the names on his arms. Every ten minutes, he completely forgets the case, but by God, he's the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's describing me? Oh, my wife wasn't killed, but yes, up to that point. Drunk older guy with a sad backstory, I'll take that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The good guys don't fucking cut people's heads off. You know what I mean? In John Wick, he will butcher people. Like he is a fucking animal. He will do the worst things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got excommunicated from the assassin underworld. It's sort of, they've got this big thing set up where all the assassins are like part of some sort of, there's like a code that they


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was incoherent. It's just, it's just, you're just watching kinetic energy on the screen. Just thrashing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't remember. So the problem I have with John Wick is that he doesn't just shoot the baddies and they fall down like a normal stupid goofy action movie. He will then go over and like shoot them in the head point blank. Like every time. It's like holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like there's no, there's no mercy with this guy. He's like the bad guy. If he, if this the bad guy did it, she'd think, what a fucking asshole. That guy was down and out and he just fucking finished him off. John Wick will go up and press the gun into your mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys that made John Wick 3, which I think is called John Wick 3 Parabellum, I could be wrong, Wick fans, correct me in the comments, I'm sure you will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there's a scene in it where he breaks in, he's being chased because the call has gone up saying, it's midnight, John Wick's, you know, he's a, he's a, you can kill him now and there's a big reward if you do. That's the set up for the whole movie. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the, the, the conceit is that there are assassins coming out of the fucking world. Like how they, the, the, the, the market is saturated. It must be impossible to make a living. It's like Uber. They've basically done what Uber's done. There's drivers everywhere. There's less share to go around for the rest of them. So that's the, the situation, the John Wick economy does not make sense. Anyway, he runs into this gun museum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to shoot one guy, and then he keeps running. And that whole scene was meant to be an homage to like, this particular scene, you can look it up, of uh, the guy who was like the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fat guy in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. I can't remember his character's name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not Lee Van Cleef, nor Clint Eastwood, the other guy. Where he goes into a gun store. Right, the ugly, exactly, he's the ugly. He goes into the gun store and he like, puts together a gun from different bits of guns and gets it just right. That's an homage to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, that scene has nothing to do whatsoever with John Wick. They just shoehorned it in because the guy liked it. That's John Wick in a nutshell. Is this not very- it doesn't make sense. It's just a series of action sequences with the shallowest of possible plots. And it's brutal. It's brutally gory and unnecessarily so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna watch a documentary about, uh, this American football player, this Hawaiian American football player. Right. And, uh, he's gonna be like the Heisman Trophy winner and he's gonna go play for the NFL and all this kind of stuff. And then it turns out, he'd said his girlfriend had died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Uh, but she didn't exist. Oh. Uh, that's the whole setup for, it's like a three or four part documentary, and Mrs. F was like, shall we watch that? And I was like, I don't know, it seems like a pretty weak-in start to a series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it doesn't really seem like such a shocking story that, I mean, it's no, it's no double LeBron James. You know what I mean? That's the story right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this is literally, oh yeaah, he invented a girlfriend, but then the story is, well, maybe it was another guy who was catfishing him and he'd only ever really met this girl online. That's pretty much it. That's the drama. And I'm like, this needed multiple episodes? This is like a half hour show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can sum it all up. Like, I read the- I read it off Wikipedia, to me and Mrs. Everett, I read the Wikipedia, I was like, summed up, job done. There was that other one, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uh, it's for anyone that doesn't want to watch the show but wants to know more about DB Cooper, there are like three or four really good YouTube vids about it. Uhm, well they sum it up very nicely and that's all you need. It's like 20 minutes or whatever and then job done. Like, it doesn't need to be all those episodes. But they need to, they need content, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love, there are tons of movies that I would love them to stick on there, and they just don't. They just don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you see it and you think, oh, the, the new June is up on so-and-so and you look and it's like, oh, it's the old one. I've already seen that a hundred times. I don't need to see that again. I wanted to see the new one. Like they'll, they'll say like, oh, well here's the original that was made in 1932. If you want to see that. It's like, can you not try to get in on the coattails of this movie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you're gonna fool me for exactly two minutes. Yes! I'm not paying any more for this. It's not like you've tricked me into a movie theater and now I'm like, oh, we may as well watch it. I can just press back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My friends popped my tyres and I never forgave them for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some lads had the streamers, yeah. Uhm, but yeah, so my bike was a pedal backwards, it was a BMX, so that was the thing. Uhm, I mean, you know, it's actually pretty good because in a way it means you don't have brake cables in the way, which is a big thing if you're a hot BMXer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but unfortunately, there was a suspension bridge near us. It's called the, it's called the suspension bridge. It's not a very fancy bridge. Um, but it's a suspension bridge and it's covered with, you know what? This gives me massive Triforce deja vu. I am a hundred percent sure I've talked about this before. It was like a sandpaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, then obviously we've never spoken about it before. On the bridge, on the sort of planks, they had adhered a sandpaper-like gripping surface that was like pebbles in glue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that was the point where I remember when I described the surface, I thought, aha! I've talked about this before. And my friend cycled my BMX really fast, did the back pedal, and skidded like 20 feet and burst my back tire and had to carry it home. It might have even been this year that I told that story, so I do apologize regular listeners. But I don't give a fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I was not injured, no. He burst my back tyre with friction. But the bike was. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's lunchtime we're stopping, we need fuel we're stopping, but otherwise we ain't stopping. You're stopping if someone needs to pay. Okay, but if you stop for fuel, someone needs to pay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I stop for petrol, of course, I'll come back with Haribo, I'll come back with, with, uh, with Tic Tacs, chewing gum, Mentos, normally not gum actually, cause you gotta then leave it in the car, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I'm certainly gonna comment and critique. The best one I find is when they're like, oh my god, you're such an idiot, do this. And you're like, what, you can actually do that? And they're like, oh, I don't know, I've never played this game before. Okay, here we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm imagining eight women in a hotel room dressed up in chipmunk costumes, like, making chipmunk noises and stuff like, whilst listening to this podcast, you know? Like, imagine bursting in on Santa's workshop, like, and all the elves are like, busily working away or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just imagine that, but it's a bunch of women dressed up as, uh, as animals and listening to a podcast instead. So thanks for that. That's wonderful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy crap. I mean, Jesus. Yes, please. First and foremost, I would love free entry into the Tower of London, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that's solid flax. I would give the same sort of advice to his mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if Adolf is still like, uh, was still a popular name after World War II or if it was just one of those names that nobody went near sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a million bakers out there who have never once, uh, baked a loaf of bread in their life, and never will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, I think it probably, the only, the only real tangible effect on their life is that they're more likely to just have their name legally changed at some point. Whereas most people probably don't bother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His name, his name, he was not born, uh, his first name was not Magic, though. It was, it was Dunks. It was, uhm, what was it? Okay, hang on a second. It was 3-pointer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but Minnie, Minnie for me is a name where if your kid is called Minnie, it's okay. But then, uh, as an adult, it's, it's probably less okay, right? Minnie is just a bit of a, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They probably milk it every damn day to, uh, to keep, to help them keep going, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just imagine. Imagine, uh, imagine, like, it looks like, uh, the scene out of a spaghetti western, if you've ever seen one of those, right? That's kind of what, like, the landscape looks like. You could just imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really, really good actually, really nice. Good vibes in that game, definitely. Yeah, but the story was, uh, like, that sort of built up in, in, like, while you were playing it. It wasn't what you expected, for sure. Wasn't what you expected, but it was pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I especially like the fact that nobody's called me out on any of my nonsense, uh, today. It's been especially good. Cause I don't know if you're listening to the last mailbag, Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was the, there was the charitable bozo guy and there was the Wisconsin guy as well if you remember. That was, you brought that on yourself. I did not. Maybe I did. You criticized Wisconsin and believe it or not a bunch of people from Wisconsin


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you, can you think of a way where I can ask Alexa to play radio-friendly versions of, uh, of otherwise very explicit songs? Because I would love my kids to be able to listen to some hip-hop classics, but


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[Assistant] It's impossible to get the radio versions to play on Alexa. So maybe that you can start with that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, exactly, like it's not, they exist, they do exist, but it's just, it's impossible to pinpoint them.


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[Assistant] Thank you, Ryan. Thanks so much. Finally somebody said it, you know.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, they're beautiful spots. Yeah. And, uh, not, uh, very, very unique, like compared to say Wisconsin, for example, because it's, uh, well, they're mountain resorts. So, you know.


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[Assistant] Sorry for describing Wisconsin in an unflattering way or whatever. I've never been myself. I only hear things about Wisconsin, okay? Like people tell me that Wisconsin is just...


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[Assistant] Kind of, kind of, kind of plain, kind of boring, like a little bit, a little bit Fargo or whatever, and I believe them. So, you know, if you're coming at me with, uh, with some knowledge bombs,


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[Assistant] She knows like the sound of the words that she needs to say in certain situations. So like she's got a lot of lift the flap books. She's got like lots of spot books, you know, with uh, lift the flap.


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[Assistant] And, uh, if you've ever read one of those books before, you'll know that 90% of the book is no. Like you open a flap and somebody is saying no on the other side because they're always looking for a spot or they're looking for his bone or they're looking for a school bag.


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[Assistant] Just everything like babies, they just develop. They're constantly developing, so there's just always...


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[Assistant] That's cool. Yeah, they say ba-ba a little. I think anything that goes like, uh-uh, like, I think like, muh, duh, and buh are like the kind of go-tos at first. Those are the easy ones. They're the easier ones, yeah. But like, trying to get them to say like, ta-ta, or something like that is impo- like, they can't do t.


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[Assistant] Another good one that we played one time was that Terraforming Mars was pretty fun.


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[Assistant] If you're from Wisconsin and you have a bone to pick, pick away. Let's hear some nice things about Wisconsin. Let's turn the negative into a positive. Let's turn the frown upside down.


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[Assistant] You know, we almost lost Jeremy Renner this year, of course, was in a terrible snowplow accident. Yes. As I understand it, he was snowplowing, got out to talk to somebody, and the snowplow started to roll away, or roll over, and he got in it to try to stop it, and then got run over by his snowplow.


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[Assistant] What if it was headed towards five people on a train track and you either get in it and divert it and potentially injure yourself or let it roll into five people?


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[Assistant] I think you'd go to prison though, if they could prove that you'd left your snowplow in a...


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[Assistant] This was the Renner app, uhm, or something like that. Now, we were talking about this when I was streaming the other day, and...


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[Assistant] Jeremy Renner has been in some big movies. He's been in Oscar winning movies. Uhm, I still think if you showed a picture of him to most people, they would not necessarily know who he was. They'd be like, oh, he was, uh, he was a Hawkeye. He was the bow guy in the Avengers movies. Or, you know, they, they-


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[Assistant] Right, you know them from the superhero, but yeaah. I mean, I always get which Chris is mixed up. Cause there's like Chris Pine, Chris Pratt, there's a few other Chris is knocking about. Uh, so I know it's a Chris that plays Captain America, but I wouldn't swear to which one.


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[Assistant] Big breakfast was his big break, if you like. And then he left that and they brought in Johnny Vaughan and Denise Van Outen, if you remember. And then he did TFI Friday, which was huge. And then he did Don't Forget Your Toothbrush. I think that was the order. And then he sort of, I think he, he


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[Assistant] Was on Top Gear, isn't he, on Top Gear? His peak was in the 90s.


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[Assistant] I mean, now it is very chill, like I literally sat on the sofa for whatever it was. My mum was up as well, which is a whole different kind of stress, but she takes, she does a lot of the menial shit that I can't be bothered to do. She enjoys doing it, which is here. I tell her not to, and we had an argument about it, but she wanted to do it, so I was like, fine.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean the ones that you can get, they haven't got a huge amount of mileage on, I'm sure they're fine cars, but they're little and they still cost like 8 or 9 grand. I looked up, so I looked up an auto trader, second hand electric cars, I had to go within 50 miles of London, which is quite a big chunk of the country, like a 50 mile radius circle centred on London, that's quite a big area.


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[Assistant] 12. There were 12 electric cars for sale.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and they were all very expensive or reasonably priced but tiny. One of them was that one that you've seen that looks like they got part way through building a normal car and then stopped.


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[Assistant] Nissan Leaf. Is it a Nissan Leaf? No, no, no. No, no, listen. It doesn't have a body like a car. It looks like a forklift truck.


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[Assistant] Where am I going to put the kids in the luggage? The dog? Like this is impossible. Um, so I said to the kids, look, I would like to get an electric car. I'm sure they're great. I know Spiff has the, uh, the Teasler and was telling me about that and, and, you know, I know other people who've got them in everything.


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[Assistant] I can. The telephone poles around here, or the light poles, what are they called? Street light poles. They have a little latch, you open up the thing and there's a charging port there. Like that's quite common in London. So there are about four or five people on the road that have electric cars. They charge them. You see at night there's like a hose


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[Assistant] The only thing is, if they're all being used, what do you do? And also, how long does it hold the charge? Cause I really only drive the car like once a week. Uhm, it's good for a couple hundred miles, honestly. Like it's, uh, I think it's like- I mean overnight and stuff, like if I charge it up, is it good for a week?


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[Assistant] No, I wanna talk about the Thomas the Tank Engine fandom.


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[Assistant] So, this is a long route to a very weird part of the internet, okay? I follow an account on Twitter called Take That Darwin.


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[Assistant] Which is people generally saying, If evolution is real and we came from monkeys, why are there still monkeys? Uh, which you can type verbatim into Google and it will give you multiple articles explaining why. I'm not gonna do that here. Do it on your own time. It's very obvious when you think about it, but the answer is right there. This guy tweeted that.


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[Assistant] And whenever I see this, I always check the replies. And it's either people saying yeaah, or people saying you're an idiot.


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[Assistant] And I looked at this guy's profile and he was saying people call me the most toxic member of TTE fandom and they call me the scum of TTE fandom but they're wrong. And that was one of his tweets.


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[Assistant] I noticed he had Thomas the Tank Engine as his portrait on Twitter, and I noted that a lot of the other people he'd interacted with also had Thomas the Tank Engine characters as their avatars, and I dug a little deeper, and there was some big drama in the Thomas the Tank Engine community. Fuck me.


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[Assistant] These are adults who are really into Thomas the Tank Engine and still make fan movies about Thomas and his friends. A lot. And they're all CGI, they've made these, they're full stories, they try to stay true to the original canon.


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[Assistant] It does. He put together an hour and a half long review video of that year's the community's best fan-made movies and stuff like that. And then he got called out for using other people's content even though that's pretty much how a review works is you have to show snippets of it


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[Assistant] In order to review it, you can't just say, try to imagine the following scenes that, I mean, that, you know, it's not using other people's content if you're reviewing it. If you just put the whole thing up, that's fair use. So he's showing sections and breaking it down and saying what he loved about it and giving them awards, the steamy awards, as he called them.


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[Assistant] But he was then called out, people called it disgraceful and disgusting that he'd made this video because he decided on what he'd enjoyed most that year and hadn't asked the community to vote. He got a lot of stick for that. Um, it's a fascinating dive down into the drama of a micro scene and how everyone involved is just insane.


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[Assistant] Have you done any? No, I haven't done any reading yet and I got, um, I got Alan Rickman's autobiography.


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[Assistant] Did we cover the targeting computer in the lessons? We didn't. I didn't even bring it up once, and here he goes in the fucking x-wing, what's the first thing he'd do? Fucking targeting computer.


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[Assistant] And it's interesting to see the way people dressed and acted back in the 80s and 90s.


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[Assistant] They would travel from all over the country to do this stuff. Nowadays they would just do a TikTok. They were always wearing a pair of slacks.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they travel to do this thing and they're on for like a minute or two and then they're gone. But nowadays you wouldn't do that. You would do that on TikTok or something and you would instead do what someone like Ellen did where you just find these big TikTokers and then put them on your TV show and everybody's like, oh wow, Ellen's so clever and creative, but it's just like advertising. It's all just stolen from the fucking internet.


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[Assistant] I saw something the other day, it was a really, really old meme. It was like a three year old meme. Oh, you know what it was, you remember the guy, it's, he's uh...


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[Assistant] No, not that one, no. It was the one where there's a, there's a couple of guys in a car and one guy says to them, hey, Mufasa, you know what day it is? He goes, huh? It's Friday, then it's Saturday, Sunday. And he opens the door of the car and does a sort of dance walking next to the car while it's slowly moving, right?


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[Assistant] It's, it was huge on YouTube, you can look it up. It's called, the kid, the guy's name is Mufasa, he's a gigantic, uhm, guy, and he does these really cool dance moves, but also he's kind of goofy and funny. It's really good.


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[Assistant] Creative department sits around watching YouTube videos all fucking day.


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[Assistant] Really? I can't remember if it was some insurance company that just lifted the concept from that okay go.


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[Assistant] If I had, we had talked about something, and I had suggested something I wanted to do, and then you went and did it, that isn't cool.


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[Assistant] I'm just saying if, if, if subsequently something I had an idea for comes real,


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[Assistant] But do you think the really famous people, the way they get to be ultra, ultra famous is by being that way? Yes. If you're the nice guy, you're not gonna be like Taylor Swift or Beyonce or Fred Sheeran or something like that?


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[Assistant] I mean, I know, it's pretty, it's a pretty cutthroat industry, most of entertainment, right? Because, you know, you're only as good as your last movie, and all that kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] I, uh, I know someone who worked with, uhm, Mariah Carey. Yes. In a similar kind of thing. And, uh, she had, at the time, uhm, a lighting supervisor who followed her everywhere.


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[Assistant] When it comes to being a big star, I don't think it's possible to not be a bit of a dick in order to get things done genuinely.


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[Assistant] Because if you're Elton John, and you go out there, and the piano's kinda wonky, and the sound's not great, and they fucked up the lighting, the audience isn't gonna think, oh man, Elton John was great, but all the other stuff was really bad. They're gonna say, Elton John's shows suck. He's the face of the show.


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[Assistant] He's the guy who has to go out there and be perfect. He's the guy who has to go out there and nail it. He's the guy who's gotta do this. Same for any artist, any actor, any musician, any of them.


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[Assistant] Nobody's gonna know the name of the lighting technician that fucked up, or the sound guy that fucked up. All they're gonna think is, wow, insert star here, really, that sucked. And that's not, they're the only person who the show reflects on.


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[Assistant] I think most of them are. I think pretty much every single big, big act has to fight for everything. I think they've got this kind of siege mentality where if something's wrong, why are you trying to sabotage my show? It's all gotta be just so.


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[Assistant] If you're a big star, genuinely, think of the pressure


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[Assistant] Uh, but with a couple of twists, but it's basically like, the one is they can seduce people and they go to them at night and say, you either join us or we're gonna murder you tonight. So you add new traitors to the mix. So if they've lost a traitor, they can add a new one in.


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[Assistant] And then throw them under the bus if they want and say, I told you, you know, and sort of, so they recruit someone as a traitor and then out them as a traitor. That's, that kind of shit could happen.


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[Assistant] Give it a try. You're talking about the apprentice, the traitors is also there, and it's all up there, I think you can watch it all.


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[Assistant] He was arrested back in the day as being part of a terrorist group, if I remember rightly. And he was nicked and spent time in prison and came out a changed man.


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[Assistant] And he was like this voice of liberal reason. He's a, he's a Muslim guy in Britain on LBC talking about how, you know, we should all get along and all this kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] The moment the covid stuff hit, he's now, all he's talking about is the new world order, they're trying to put vaccines in us to control us, like he's literally gone from this supposedly reasonable guy to fucking batshit.


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[Assistant] No, I just think he was a bit of a, he was a bit of a nut. People change, but they also don't change. You know what I'm saying?


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[Assistant] And people were like, this is bullshit, he's wrong, people can absolutely change.


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[Assistant] Can I, uh, can I, can we end this podcast on a poem for a change?


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[Assistant] If they fuck you up, your mum and dad, they may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had and add some extra just for you. But they were fucked up in their turn by fools in old-style hats and coats who half the time were soppy stern and half at one another's throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf.


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[Assistant] Get out as early as you can and don't have any kids yourself.


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[Assistant] At some point during the day, I don't know when, uhm, I suffered from a, uhm, like a burst blood vessel in the white of my eye. I've never had that before. But apparently it happens and apparently there's nothing anybody could really do about it. It just clears up after a while.


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[Assistant] No, no, it's not like bleeding out of my eye, it's like inside the white of my eye.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like a very red eye, like it looks like it's bleeding.


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[Assistant] Yeah, which is worrying. Like my wife was like, holy crap, like maybe you're having a stroke or something. I was like, no, no, I don't think like, I feel fine. Like there's no loss of vision or like, you know, it doesn't feel, um, you know,


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[Assistant] No, no, no, like no bigger than usual, I mean, minor.


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[Assistant] Just doing normal stuff, you know, just gaming, eating, uhm, you know.


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[Assistant] Villains. I don't know if I'm super familiar with all the villains. Like, I'll try. Like, I don't mind joining in, but like, I'll just say, like, I'm not a big superhero guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are the, these are like the, what about the guy from, uh, fucking Mad Max? Uhm. Immortan Joe. Immortan Joe, yea, he is scary. And, and honorable mentions to the bad guy in Blue Velvet as well, who's like, like a mini-


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[Assistant] What about the, okay, another David Lynch. How about just every bad guy in the, in the David Lynch? Cause they're all really creepy, right?


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[Assistant] Yeah, well I mean Hannibal Lecter is bad too, but like he, he gives you insights into the mind of Buffalo Bill, who is the actual bad guy in Silence of the Lambs, right?


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[Assistant] He's like a, he's like a cat, you know, like ready to pounce, like he's all, he's all like, oh, young Skywalker. And then all of a sudden his eyes go red and he goes like, you know, which is, I think makes it a better bad guy. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think if we're talking Star Wars, the only other bad guy is probably like, uh, Grand Admiral Thrawn, right?


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[Assistant] Oh, the T1000 was pretty cool. Yeah. And terrifying as well. The running. It's tricky though.


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[Assistant] The thing with bad guys is that they usually start off pretty badass and you're scared of them, but then once you get used to them, they turn into almost like clowns, right? Like bumbling idiots who can't do anything. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but so, but if we're talking about villains over the course of multiple movies, I'm, I'm saying that the clown effect...


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[Assistant] Persists and grows over the course of the movies. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think so.


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[Assistant] I know, but like, you can still be an arsehole if you're a crazy dog, right?


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[Assistant] That's a lot more personal, that's a lot more personal than Kujo. It's in the eye of the beholder, right? Like it's, it is gonna be like a personal thing. And I, I, I took Kujo's affronts personally, is what all I'm saying.


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[Assistant] You know animals gone wild if you like and uhm, you know we touched on a couple but there's definitely more out there right?


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[Assistant] Nasty Nick from Big Brother or something like that? Right, but that's-


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[Assistant] Superhero. Yeah, probably. Superhero. Superhero. Superhero. What about a bad guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and Mortan Joe, I would, I would put the T-1000 in there as well. Or even the Terminator, like himself, because in the first movie he was the villain, right? Oh, the T-1000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to imagine these guys fighting each other as well for the ultimate supremacy. So like imagine the T1000 fighting the Emperor. That would be fucking nuts. That would be a tough one.


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[Assistant] The thing is though, is that, I like, you know, like, Palpatine had, uh, more of like, uh, you know, he wanted to, he wanted to rule the, the galaxy, right? Like, with an iron fist. Whereas the T-1000 really only wanted to find John Connor. Like, he was, he was just programmed to do one thing, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To go back in time and kill John Connor and that was it. He didn't really care about anything else. So like, like in terms of ambitions and stuff, I would say, yeah, the T 1000 is formidable, like on the battlefield, but like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know it like in the overarching like medicines it's kind of simple you know like he's not a fair point.


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[Assistant] I saw a bit of one of the more recent It movies, and he was in like a house of mirrors, the clown, and he put his tongue up against the glass and was sliding down and it looked, he had like tons of teeth and stuff, it was horrifying, actually. It's horrifying, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The T-1000, they're animalistic, really, aren't they? Like, they're, they're, they have, like, a very simple, narrow purpose, right? Whereas a horror villain is a lot more psychological and, uh, there's more to it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they've gone through the clowning process that I was describing, right?


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[Assistant] Yeah, let's get him on the list. You should put him on the list somewhere. Yeah, that guy was fucking insane. And like the, uh, you know, like when he thought that like he knew like all along what was going on and he used that as like the fuel for the one last hurrah at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just think, this is such a problematic relationship.


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[Assistant] It was astounding really, like, it's just, it was crazy. I would put him on a list of villains for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think there's a lot of horror that I haven't seen, serious horror that people are really into. And then the horror I have seen is, like you said, just become a joke. Like Freddy Krueger, Jason, like all the sort of like tropey old classic slasher villains. Nobody cares anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I see, when I see the cover of the movie Hellraiser, man, it takes me back to the eighties. It does. Going to the video store to run the movies with my mom and dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Child's Play, there's definitely links with Child's Play to some of like the-


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[Assistant] Nastier incidents of like the late 80s, early 90s, in the UK especially, right? Like, uh, wasn't Child's Play something to do with Jamie Bulger and all that as well? Like there was- Oh god. There was- I don't know. There was definitely- There was a real panic. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I haven't seen it. I've heard of it, but I haven't seen it. I haven't seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But chuck Pinhead in there as well for the scary factor, but I think Pennywise again, like with Pinhead, I was too young to watch Hellraiser and too scared because of the cover of the box, but it is a bit more accessible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course! Do you know what? Cause if I'm wrong, I'm going there. Oh yeah, I'll be honest with you, I at times sometimes worry as well about hell, you know? Like, and I'll say


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[Assistant] Man, dying in your sleep's gotta be the way to go, but at the same time it's kinda depressing to think about it, eh? Like, cause you've got a whole day planned and you're just never gonna wake up again. I mean, that is sad, isn't it? If you wake up in hell, that's bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah I know, I feel like with fantasy it's just like Lord of the Rings. Like what other fantasy that's, that movie fantasy I mean. There's so many. Because like there's so much more fantasy in books and games and stuff where there's like, you'd have more to pick from, but for movies I would struggle. Voldemort.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my son tried to read the, the first book and he did not like it. He was just like, but I think he, I think some of his friends at school are into it now. So he's like talking about getting into, yeah, he wants to keep up sort of thing, but like, I don't know, maybe it's just like not for him or I, I don't know, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to see Willow in the movie theaters for my eighth birthday. We had, uh, like me and a couple of my friends, my parents took us all to, to see Willow in the movie theaters when it, when it came out. It was like, cause it came out in what, like 87? Something like that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Conqueror. The Destroyer. The Carpathian. Vigo the Carpathian. That was Ghostbusters 2. That was Ghostbusters. I think, and the thing is, like, Gozer, I think, I think if you're talking about really big bad guys, it's gotta be Gozer, right? The Gozerian? Because, uh, he was like the god. He was, he was like, uh, like the, the, the god. Yeah. Of all of that, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, do you know what I'm thinking about from Die Hard? I'm thinking about the guy, uh, who was like, uh. The police chief? No, the big, the big like Wall Street guy who thought he was gonna like talk to, you know, he was like doing cocaine and stuff in the office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Gozer, uhm, uh, resurrected, uh, themselves through the Keymaster and the Gatekeeper, which turned, uh, Lewis and Dana, yeah, Zool and all that stuff into, uh- That was a great bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Grozer does have a mortal form in a very athletic looking Asian woman, uh, which is gotta have bonus points there, no?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who've you got? Well, I was gonna say like, uh, the, uh, the guy from Game of Thrones, you know, the, uh... Charles Dunst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joffrey. Cersei. All the Lannisters. What about the Night King?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Night King one, uhm, the, uhm, the Withered one, uhm, the one that can ride the Ice Dragon and shit like that, like, I dunno, like, they were kinda cool, no? They were! I know nobody liked the last season of the show, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're gimmicky, like, one-hit wonders, like, they're so bad, you know. They do all this, like, uh, they do all this work to, like, get the base set up and everything, and then they just bumble through their plan. Like, they're always foiled by James Bond, they're garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, what about, uh, the alien from Alien for Action, the Predator for Action, uhm, Predator, I think Predator is pretty good for Action.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, like, come on, like, have like a little bit of situational awareness. Like, you're in a fucking bog, basically. Like, what else is he gonna do, right? Like, you have to be able to think about this stuff ahead of time. What about Nurse Ratchet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I wanna contest Kids, though, because in a category where Cruella De Vil exists, come on. She's worse than Grandpa Joe, for sure. But she's such a parody-like of all this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I'm saying it more tango, because this, the setting and everything, the movie was just way better than the other two as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was fucking wild, eh? I know! That was so scary!


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[Assistant] I've seen Thanos in one of those movies, I think it was Infinity War that we saw maybe in Seattle possibly. Uhm, and he seemed pretty cool and honestly I would take him over the Joker any day because man the Joker is just so tired and like.


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[Assistant] Lomborg was a bit of a fucking doofus, wasn't he?


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[Assistant] I really like, uh, no country for old men, uh, Anton Sugar for this. And the drum teacher from Whiplash. Those would be my top two.


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[Assistant] I think there's better apples out there, you know?


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[Assistant] Right, uhm, wow. This is an interesting one. Like I would say Palpatine because


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[Assistant] Of, uh, you know, his, uh, ability to channel the force, and, uh, he controls an empire and stuff, but, there's no fuckin' around with a minion of hell, you know? Like, it's gotta be the ultimate, really. Like, you're right, that's where I'm struggling.


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[Assistant] You know what, it's gotta be palp for me every time. Okay, palp it is. As terrifying as Pinhead is, I just think Palpatine's got the edge. Okay, so now.


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[Assistant] Construction is like a fucking air-powered ca-


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[Assistant] I mean, it's fucking wild. It is horrific. Are we gonna get an Anton? Yeah, I'm leaning an Anton here. I love Biff, but man, it's gotta be Anton for me.


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[Assistant] He is, but I think with Palpatine he's always had the force and so all he's really had to do to get to the place that he's at is use the force and do lots of like, uh, lots of like behind the scenes backstabbing, gentle manipulations and stuff to get to where he is. Whereas I think in Mortan Joe's,


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[Assistant] Rise to power was probably a lot more difficult, you know? Like, you gotta hand it to him.


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[Assistant] I know, but the environment that Immortan Joe exists in is a much harsher one than, um, the galaxy that Palpatine knows, right?


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[Assistant] I mean, he created the Star Destroyer, let's not forget.


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[Assistant] I thought you were going to say Antoine du Bec there. I was going to say, gosh, this is a tough one. Actually, this one isn't a tough one.


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[Assistant] In an actual fight, I mean, Joffrey is a punk ass bitch, right?


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[Assistant] I cannot, I cannot, uhm, live with myself knowing that Joffrey has won something though. And for that reason, I'm gonna go with Anton Shiger on this.


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[Assistant] So many of the characters in that show were utterly hateful.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but it was scary, cause like, you just don't know, like, uh, imagine being the survivor, like, this guy just went on like a multi-day murder rampage. You find out about it after the fact that the only way you got out of it was because you guessed the


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[Assistant] Man, what an episode. I enjoyed that a lot actually. The, the toing and froing was fantastic. It was tough. It was tough decisions. Really good one.


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[Assistant] That's funny, we were, we're gonna do a summer holiday in the UK this year as well.


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[Assistant] Uhm, because last year we went to California and obviously that was a big- that was like two weeks in California with the flights and the-


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[Assistant] Combination was not a cheap holiday, it was like a big holiday that we wanted to do for ages. And this year, Mrs. F was like, right, we gotta go somewhere. I was like, let's just go somewhere in the UK.


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[Assistant] It wants to be nice and special, but at the same time you have to think practically.


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[Assistant] Well, I wanna register my discontent. I'm not happy.


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[Assistant] Adults, go to adult things, don't go to Disneyland. Go to Amsterdam.


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[Assistant] Yes, for families. That implies there have to be children present. I'm just saying.


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[Assistant] I think it was about 2004 or 2005, the US Navy off the coast of California started spotting these weird flying objects that they couldn't explain. And they traveled much quicker than was possible and they sort of


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[Assistant] The footage was made public of them catching these things on their infrared cameras and all the rest of it. Some of it is explained fairly simply, some of it is not.


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[Assistant] That is not crumbs. I think one of the big things is that they'll say, wow, look how fast that thing's going. But there's like, when you're looking through these infrared cameras and all the rest of it, uhm, it's not really showing you reality and...


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[Assistant] With further analysis, actually, these things aren't travelling as fast as they thought. But some of them are, so it's a bit weird. But uhm, this footage is real. It was released by the American military, by the Navy, the US Navy.


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[Assistant] They're drones, some classy new kind of drone, and they just haven't figured it out, you know, how to study them yet, or they haven't really got a handle on how to capture these things in a way that, that you, like,


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[Assistant] To give you an example, one of them, they're like, wow, look at that thing go, and it looks like it's moving incredibly fast on the infrared camera, but it's actually not.


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[Assistant] And they say, hi, we're from the planet Omicron, uhm, Omicron Signii 17. Uhm, we've been studying you guys for about 50 years now and we've decided, uh, you're not very interesting and we're gonna leave.


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[Assistant] So the third way, the other way it could go, sorry, is uhm, that they decide to conquer us.


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[Assistant] Now, my problem with that is, and I think Stephen Hawking and a few people have said that if they did, we should be very scared of aliens' turn ups. Because when we, uhm, in Europe went to places that were less technologically advanced, like the United States and South America and places like that, and Africa,


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[Assistant] We just conquered them, uhm, and basically got rid of them and nicked their land. And so the idea is that the aliens would conquer us and nick all our stuff and enslave us or just wipe us out.


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[Assistant] So, I don't know why they would bother doing that. No.


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[Assistant] We would have to agree as a species on one thing for the first time that we need to pick a person who represents the entire planet


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[Assistant] It's impossible. That's how they could paralyze the entire planet. By saying, choose one person, and we're gonna deal with them, you've got thirty days. We'd just annihilate ourselves rather than pick somebody. That's how you'd start the war. The third world war. Guaranteed. As soon as it's getting...


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause it would be like, every- no country's gonna accept them sending, like, you're gonna have to pick someone from a country that nobody really cares about.


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[Assistant] So I mean, there have been quite a few aliens throughout the history of sort of alien movies. There was a movie called Life with Jake Gyllenhaal where the alien is basically like a tiny plant almost, like blob thing.


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[Assistant] That's a big one. I think dabbing, explaining dabbing would be difficult. The nature of fads, people doing gestures because everybody else is doing them. Yo-yos, very hard to explain yo-yos, I think, to aliens.


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[Assistant] I think, uh, certainly none of our technology would be new to them, but if they, if they had got as far as we have, and further, obviously, they would have, I think, had to go through very similar, um, evolution, because the key to life sort of persisting


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[Assistant] Is it at wins a contest of some kind, either against others of its own kind?


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[Assistant] Or it's environment, right? It's a contest-based evolutionary system. And it's not a competition in the same way that it's like, you know, you're not playing football and whoever wins wins. I'm just saying you either out-compete your neighbours