[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not immediate, it's more just like a, uhm, it's meant to be sort of like a gentle sort of exploration, uhm, you know, collect them all kind of thing. Like there is some, there's sentinels and certain things that if you pick them up they'll alert sentinels in to fight you and you can fight against them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's an option, uh, but just in the normal mode when you die, um, you just, um, you just spawn back with no inventory where you last saved. Which is a bit of a fucker. But you can go and find your body. Which, I died yesterday. Which is very standard in the game, you can't really... I was just curious, I just wanted to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can have a fleet as well, so you can buy like a huge, uh, freighter, and they're massive, and you can have like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, there's so much to do in it now, it's crazy. Uhm, I've tried playing it in the past and it's never really hooked me in any way, but this time I'm definitely into it, it's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're doing, there's a big campaign this week where there's going to be drops and stuff as well, which is kind of exciting, I guess, if people, if you play it, I mean, by the time you hear this, it'll be over, it'll be last week. It'll be over. Yeah, it seems, it seems pretty good. It's been fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was talking to, uh, Chad about this the other day when I was streaming and, uh, No Man's Sky is definitely, um, sort of perceived as one of those games that came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though it's old now and people don't play it as much or whatever, but it definitely went from being bad to good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Final Fantasy XIV, that which I play as well, uhm, started the same. It was, it was destined to be some flop and uhm, they had to basically redo the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That too, yeaah. I mean, you, you, yeaah, you have to take that into account as well. Yeaah, it's just interesting. Sometimes these games, they come out and you, you can almost write them off and say, oh well, you tried your best, but this game sucks and nobody's ever gonna play it, but then-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the standards for games and games as a service and stuff like that are so high now too that I don't even think a developer making a game can be 100% sure what people want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A game's now, when a game is released, like it's, I feel like it's very rare now that a game is released and it's just like, yeah, we're not touching this one anymore, it's just done. Unless it's like a platformer or something like that, maybe, but like, there's always gotta be scope to add more stuff to the game, now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, a couple of games that have done that very well, where it's like, yeah, you play it and you don't necessarily need to go back to it, is uh, Obra Dinn was amazing. Like, you play it once, you wouldn't really play it again. You might.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, yea, you know, it's, it's a, uh, it's a very contained experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, all giving chocolates to each other in like perfectly, beautifully wrapped boxes with uh, with like harpsichord music playing in the background.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Generally speaking, I'd say the only real way that I keep track of the progress of time is when we save the podcast after and we have to put the date on the file. And every single time, Sips goes, February 2nd, fuck me! Like every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think if we had, like as human beings our memories are very limited in a way, like we can recall amazing things, but I couldn't tell you really much of what happened over the last year. Although if I look back, actually quite, I did quite a lot this year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only hot dogs that get boiled, like, uh. So, they bring, it's very, very thinly sliced. So you basically, the whole point is that it's not just boiling water, it's got all, like, chillies. Is it like an Asian thing? Is it like a Korean thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I think maybe subconsciously, and I don't, like I said, I hate to read into dreams, but this feels like, is there anything currently that has frustrated you in the last few months? I would say- Just Dota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're never that literal. I think it's always just a, there's something that's frustrating you or has frustrated you and you're still processing it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's, it might not be Dota, it might be something like, do you remember when you had your problem with the, uh, the garage was flooded? That lingering frustration in the back of your mind, you've repressed it until now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm just looking back at my Google calendar for the year, and I thought I'd done a decent amount this year, but January, I did nothing. I did a Magic the Gathering stream, and nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that was the whole month for me. I just did, I had my birthday, I did a couple of streams, I did remote play and I did uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A charity stream and that's it. April went, did nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually had my booster on the 23rd, I think, and I felt, we spoke about it, Lewis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, uh, my eldest had her booster, cause they gave it to 12 year olds. She had it, and she was like, I feel a little bit bad, but I'm fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I come- did I- did I come down to see you guys in July? I've got- I've got- We did- we did the BoA action video. Oh, so that would have been mid-July. I've got Bristol on my calendar for like five days. I guess I came down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I still don't understand how every year there are that many people for whom shopping on the last day possible to buy things is still their go-to shopping day. Like, surely once is enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 100%. But honestly, honestly, season 3, I loved season 1 and 2, season 3 was next level. Like, there were a couple of episodes that were just mind bogglingly good. So yea, it's a really good show. I just need to do something, I will be one second. Carry on, carry on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not bad, it's enjoyably goofy, but uh, it's kinda depressing as well when you think about it. It's weird, didn't you think, Lewis?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence, this is just, we're not gonna spoiler it for anybody that hasn't watched it, okay? J-Law. DiCaprio and J-Law, uh, discover that there is a comet, and they quickly do the maths, and it's headed straight for Earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they discover it first. They go out there and they tell...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people that they think should be told, you know, the department of whatever, you know, the guy who's in charge of this kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they take it to the president and they're given this meeting with the president and they're left waiting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the reason it's called Don't Look Up is they have this slogan, you know, saying, uh, these, these people are lying to you, there's no comic coming, all this kind of stuff, and then there's like, uh, there's a sort of Elon Musk


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also a lot of stuff about climate change you feel is in there and stuff. So it's made from a very liberal point of view, which is this is the truth and you guys just aren't listening. And since I am on that side, I certainly feel their frustration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At times it's played for laughs and at other times it's quite serious and I think it kind of veers between those two tones a bit too much at times. Right. But it is good. It is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also, if you want a complete change of pace from Don't Look Up, I finished watching The Terror, which is a ten part series on iPlayer, it's made by AMC, it's got Jared Harris in, uh, who was, uh, he was the scientist in Chernobyl, if you remember, who gave the presentation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were so close to actually getting things right, but they still were like, well this tonic will relieve dropsy of the knee. You're like, dropsy of the knee. You know, and they, lots of tonics and stuff like that. Cause it's like that pre-Victorian era.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so they were starting to do things like anatomy and science, and the scientific method was really starting to kick in, but they still had these weird hangovers from the 18th century where they were like, this curative will solve your problems, and of course it just doesn't, so. Three drops of ball feed, eight times a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they didn't, they didn't quite understand, uh, scurvy. So as I understand it, obviously scurvy, vitamin C, uhm, and they, in fact, being stuck in the arctic circle for as long as they were, vitamin D would probably also have been a big problem, but I guess that might be easier to come by, because you can eat oily fish, I think, can give you vitamin D anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a good one. The guy that was originally gonna be Hicks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, my favorite part was the differences between the American and the English crews.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that the Americans, like the way they did things was very different, obviously for the Brits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the bit where they, James Cameron being a very precise director, uh, he didn't, he came across as kind of an asshole, but at the same time, sometimes you're like, I understand where he's coming from. And the film does look amazing. Like his films, his films age really well, apart from Avatar, I think, because he gets everything sort of just so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously in a creative industry, you know, people kind of get ticked off, but they had this scene with all this smoke that he wanted just so, and he got it just so, and then the doors open to the studio and in comes the tea lady. Anybody want a cup of tea? And all the smoke started seeping out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, is there an Avatar fanbase out there? I guess there must be. There is for everything. But I really, I've yet to meet anyone who talks about things they're looking forward to and Avatar 2 is one of the things I honestly...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a long running one, it's meant to be quite good. They serialized the original movie, what, ages ago, they turned it into a TV show. I'm not sure if German viewers may be able to correct me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They took the movie and cut it into bits for British television. I can't remember which, because it is quite long. But I know there's something, someone will know. Anyway, I can't remember, but let me know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But basically Das Boot, for anyone who doesn't know, is about a German U-boat captain, Jürgen Prochnau, I think, and his crew, and their mission to go out and fight in the Atlantic as the Wolfpack sort of thing. And it's great, it's a really good submarine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine it? Like, I'm claustrophobic because it is, but being underwater and they're like, we are passing 150 meters, captain, the shit, the hull is going conk conk conk conk. I don't know how they do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a guy, uh, I think it's Smarter Every Day is the YouTube channel. He does videos about science and sort of experiments that he's come up with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looking at the movement of ice and how the sub can break up through the ice, because it just crashes up through the ice and then they chip away at it, open the hatch and they're like, yay. Uhm, anyway, they have on these big submarines a piece of string that runs the length of the sub.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it starts off quite slack, uh, sorry, quite taut, and as the submarine shrinks under the pressure of the water,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The rope gets slacker and slacker. That's sort of a little measure that they've got for how much the hull has crushed. Everything in the ship, if you imagine if you had an office, you wouldn't have cupboards like right next to each other. There has to be some gaps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because as the submarine literally shrinks under the pressure of that water, everything gets a little closer together and everything has to be on these sort of movable...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that there's room for them to be crushed as the ship literally


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, or is it that, is it that the downward force of the pendulum helps to, because it's independent of the building, its main angle is downward?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that, that's quite common in the, in American apartments is that the elevator opens into, like you, that's why you need a key to get to each floor. You don't just push button, you know, 15 and you're on 15. Yeah, you go in the elevator. You go in the elevator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that uh, I mean a lot of the uhm, obviously London prior to Brexit, there was an awful lot of apartments being built.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, especially if you go, if you go to Canary Wharf and around that area, there's all, there's like dozens of huge skyscrapers. And like in the East End too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also companies buy these apartments so that when they have people over, they can say, we'll put you up in our penthouse, you know, and then it helps liquidate the deal a little bit more, lubricate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so just checking my next door group for my area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, has anyone seen those sullen teenagers in the street? What are they up to? Uh, hi, I'm new to the area. Oh, and there seems to be mainly foreigners that do this introduction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, nobody else seems to bother. It always seems to be, hello, my name is, you know, Soto from Poland and I just want to say hello. And two people will say hello and someone will be like, why don't you go back to Poland or something like that. Like that's next door in a nutshell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People complaining about cyclists or electric scooters. People complaining about the bin men. Uh, and that's pretty much, I've just, I've just loaded it up. And those are multiple of the top posts. Just had a call from Amazon, it's a scam, blah blah blah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is no such, all property is theft and then it goes from there. Uh, the electric scooters is a, is a thing, you know, you see these around, you can hire them, uh, with a, I see them with an app and you get on the scooter and you drive it. Now, I do, have you ever used,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do have a question. Uh, they're always like at a station somewhere, like a docking station where they're charging up. You go up, I guess you connect with your app and it goes, and unlocks one. You take the scooter, you ride it off. When you're finished, do you just leave it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's a question, I wanna go shopping, right? I come down to Bristol in a few months time, I decide I wanna go shopping, find the nearest bank of scooters, head up to Cabot Circus on my scooter, cause it's a fucking schlep getting up there otherwise, get to the shopping center, where do I put my scooter?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if I, if I was going to a mate's house, would I take it inside, and that way I've got it, and it's just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Between that and the old people I see on their mobility sort of moped scooter sit down, what are they called? It's like, it looks like a tiny tractor. You know, those things, the mobility scooters. I see old people on the road. When I was in Bournemouth last weekend,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, I like, I'm just excited. I'm so like, I'm so keen to speak with my closest two friends in the world. Good ol' Sips, how you doin' Sips?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's my, that's my role at the Yogs as well though, to like, just surround myself with funny people who are enough that I can just chill, you know, I don't have to do anything. Like, even in this podcast, you know, it wouldn't work if there were two of us, cause I'd have to do, that's another like 17% more work. Holy crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so, so, go on, tell us, tell us what it was like. Did you, um, did you, did you do like, briefings and stuff, and like, rehearsals, or what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, it's like, one of three, but normally they're out of order, because of COVID, the majors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't I? I guess so, yeah. Which was quite, um, you know, Comic Con, quite, you know... Did you go to Comic Con?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was a really good Death Prophet cosplay I saw at Stockholm Majors. Well, they did the whole thing, in fact. Did you miss it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taking part other people, just want to entertain people, they want to show, they want to like, show off, or like, just have fun. You know, at least. You know, one year, terribly, the next, come on. What are you doing? I got a lot of, I got a lot of time for cosplayers, honestly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was talking to Simon this week about, uhm, he had to take his cats to the vets, right, and obviously his cats are kinda outdoor cats, they're very independent and they hate him. Uhm, well they don't hate him, but they're not really like cuddly friendly, they're not really on his side. They tolerate him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get him into these cat carriers. So he goes to the kitchen, closes all the doors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a lot of the time, or like, um, Vcars, who is like the Bristol based taxi service that, that we use, usually use instead of Uber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well Uber I think haven't had, up until recently had a no pet policy, but yea, they made a fuss about it, they were like, oh you have to call half an hour and we might not be able to do it, and so I think he had like missed an appointment because like the taxi didn't turn up anyway. Holy crap. Um, Uber Pets Now thing, which


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kind of liked, because I think any taxi driver who's like, wants, willing to like check the box that says they're gonna take pets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, like cosplayers, do you know what I mean? I think they're probably nice people. This might be like just a very sort of strange idea I've got in my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, like, I think that having a pet makes you, in the same way as being a dad, makes you a certain way, uhm, be like, protective of your creature, and, I dunno,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't volunteer even to have them, I don't think he even agreed to get them, I think he just actually ended up with them because of unfortunate circumstances. And so now he's a cat dad, and he's doing his best. He's just doing his best with the hand that he's been given. He's doing it, exactly. And so I don't know if everyone's... Nah, fair enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem that I had with my car when I had it was that I used it so rarely that every time I went to use it there was something wrong with it, cause it had been sat out for a month and the battery had gone flat, or, you know, something was, one of the tires had gone down. There was some dumb thing that was wrong with it, so almost every time


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was relying on it to go somewhere, like I had to go to a wedding or my parents or something, and it wasn't, it was fucked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't work for me, so I think there is a, I dunno, these days as well, I feel like there's also this service now, which some people have been encouraging me to use, where you can actually just, um, it's like an app based thing where you can just pick up a car on Queen's Square and rent it for the day, kind of like, because normally rentier cars are completely full.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not very... I mean, when I ride them I press the thing on full immediately, it gets up to max speed and then I hold it there forever. So it's never like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I'm not. Whenever I'm on one, I wanna go about twice as fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, you fu- and he wasn't wearing a helmet or anything, and I was like, who does that? Especially on his elbow, scraped up on his elbow, I'm like, everyone I've seen is wearing elbow pads, at least. I mean, I wouldn't go skateboarding without elbow pads and knee pads these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think these people are numb to that due to a number of reasons there could be. I mean, one, they might not have much care for, they might be unhappy and not have much care for themselves. Two, I think they've done it before safe and didn't get hurt, so they just have this level of confidence that seems to make them immune.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think also, possibly, sometimes they've done it before and fallen over. And they were alright, you think? And they were okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's, yeah, I think we've had that a lot as well when we've been on stage, like the bright lights just dazzle you and you sort of, you can't really see anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it is that good, but because it's number one on TripAdvisor, it gets packed by tourists, you know, for people who are coming to visit, and so it's always, there's always a queue all the way down the street, anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, this morning, not this morning, yesterday, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was walking past and there was a guy, uhm, guy there and he started waving at me and I was like, oh, okay, so I sort of waved back and sort of smiled and stuff, carried on walking, but he waved at me quite early so I was sort of approaching and approaching


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got this big idea of myself that he recognized me and I filled it all up and it was like, I wasn't, I was a little bit deflated and a little bit embarrassed because it's one of those, it happens all the time, right, when you're in the street and someone like nods at you or waves at you and says


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks at you in some way, and you're like, oh, am I supposed to recognise them, or do I know them, or did I go to school with them, or like, you know, do they recognise me from somewhere or something? It's really kind of weird, uhm, to like, to know what they... And you can never like, kind of be rude about it, or like, you always have to be like, super polite,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess my go-to is just assuming that they're a fan, even if it's just like a... So I just randomly wave at people in the street now, uhm, that are even closely looking at me funny, you know? I'm like, oh hey, I don't think it hurts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not only boring as fuck, but it's like, so personal to me. It's like, just me keeping notes of things. It's like, oh, you know, I watched this TV show today, it was boring, I played this game today, I didn't like it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a cheese sandwich for lunch or whatever, you know, it's super dull, but it's almost like, just for me to kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just found like I was, I think this year particularly has gone by so fast, and that's partly because I have a pretty good routine, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do this every Thursday, I do the stream every Monday, I do recordings Tuesday and Wednesday and we play the pretty much similar game type with similar people. It's all a bit revolving and stuff and to keep it fresh and exciting and I enjoy it in everything I do. I think that's linked as well to why it's so fast, but I think it's just, I can't believe it's June, you know, and it's just so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my first entry, I've actually left it at home, but I was gonna read it out, but basically, I ordered this fucking diary on Amazon, and of course... Is it on Amazon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like just a... no, it's like a Moleskine, uh, journaler thing, right? Oh, okay. When I... MOLESKINE. When it turned up. That poor mole. Moleskine, or whatever it is. Moleskine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably Swedish. The fucking, it turned up and it looked like it was like a big one on the fucking Amazon page, but I got as always scammed. And it was like a fucking half A5, like A6, like tiny, this fucking tiny gyri that fits into like a sub smaller than my phone. And I'm like, I can't fucking write in this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, so like, I started writing like a journal entry in it about how I was worried this diary would be too small and I'd already like filled the page and I was like oh my god I'm gonna have to A. stop waffling so much and B.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I'm a waffler when I'm apparently writhing as well, like, I'm just concerned that I'm gonna fill up this whole fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so I got a bigger one. But the bigger one has like this mantra on the front of it which says, never give up, don't ever stop. And I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not really, I think sometimes you should stop, you know? Like, there's like a lot of times in life when you should not take these fucking buzzwordy self-help things to heart, because they're harmful. You know, they make you think that you're inferior or something, or they make you feel bad when you have a date,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of things you do learn gradually, and you know, your progress might feel...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Slow, but you know, if you compare, if you keep a journal and see how bad you were a year ago...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, you know, the dream is closer. But I think that there is also an aspect of your friends and family will always tell you you're amazing, so sometimes that poor guy might well have had praise from every single person he's sung to up until that point. His mum and dad. And sometimes that's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, you know, I think their standards are a bit higher on old X Factor. You know, it's not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like that scrappy, back scratchy sponge thing to get the dead skin off? It looks soft though. It looks really soft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm really struggling to get into it. Well part of that is the idea that you are supposed to not look up any guides, because as soon as you do it completely ruins it and you realise how shallow it actually is, right, within these games. Part of the, like with Sunless Sea, or even like with Elden Ring,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you have this big world that you're, it's better not to look at a map or a guide, and you really have to focus, you really have to work hard not to, because I think we do get easily frustrated in these games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, even back in the day when playing point and clicks, like, my god, Sips, when you played Grim Fandango you must have got stuck a couple of times. A couple of times, yeah. And had to look up something, how to get out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I shout out a game? I got to shout out a game called Patrick's Para Box. Uh, look it up. It's like, if you liked... did you guys ever play Baba Is You? No. No. I heard it's really good though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More, more you as well. It's a really cool, very complicated, very deep... Oh, it's really clever. It's really, really clever. So, Patrick's... Patrick's Parabox. I wish, I wish I did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how petty I am. The whole point of the game is that that's such a big element of the game, Barbara, is you, like, it's a lot of the time you're pushing that and that together.


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[Assistant] I have a take on this, which is that I think the evolution is that difficulty breeds good reviews, right? Because no one is willing to leave a bad review that said this game was too hard. Because that makes them look like a pussy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. Do you know what I mean? So everyone's gotta be like, yeah, this game was rock hard, and I felt satisfied and I joy I felt strong when I beat it. I'm a genius.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's longevity too, right? Like, I think just playing games, if it's easy it's boring, if it's too easy it's boring, and I don't think all games ramp up difficulty


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love Lord of the Rings, I actually recently watched the M4 book edit of The Hobbit, um, I really enjoyed it. It's basically a guy that actually had the book open when he was editing the three Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit extended editions together with all the behind the scenes, and there's quite a bit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The book edit actually, you know, it's pretty good and there's another couple of edits out that I recommend, but there's a huge fan base for Lord of the Rings. I mean, I remember playing this back when it came out. I think you originally had to pay


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, along, because there is this hardcore fanbase of, and I think there's always people coming into the Lord of the Rings fandom, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think it's, it's, I don't think it's good, but it's certainly a universe that you can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get a feel from, uh, get a feeling of being in the Lord of the Rings world, which is kind of what some people want. You know, some people just want more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Codexes and tomes and maps, y'know, lore, it's coming out of the fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are still playing Warhammer online. We gotta stop. We gotta stop this. Uh, thank you everyone, uh, for listening. We gotta stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm feeling great, uhm, my mum was up last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to go to the GPs, just to, all you need is a prescription for a Moxicillin or something like that, some kind of, you know, uhm, like a penicillin based, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just really worried, but she also didn't catch Covid. She just had a really bad chest infection. Uh, and a whole bunch of people that week that I play Dota with or that I know in the UK came down with the exact same symptoms and feelings. So it's weird how, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We kind of think we can control these diseases, but like we said before, like, I don't know how it's possible that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know like 10 different people that same week that have the same cold. It's bonkers. It's absolutely bonkers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's interesting because when you, if you think about the role reversal, I'm now the one who has to tell my mum how the remote works and how to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How to do things, and previously, you know, she would be the one teaching me stuff, so, uh, I just think, you know, you gotta pay back what they did for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so I'm always gonna look after her, and I hope other people do the same thing if they can.


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[Assistant] I understand that we have a very strong desire in the west, I would say. Uhm, I'm not gonna speak for other places, because I haven't lived there. To be independent from your parents as soon as possible, really. People wanna get out, they wanna get on their own, they basically wanna just drop in and see them at Thanksgiving or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A way for things to be, to be isolated from your family. We basically should be with them all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and imagine now I know a lot of people that talk about the cost of healthcare, uh, sorry, childcare. The cost of childcare is prohibitive to a lot of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine if you had some old person or a couple of old people living with you, who had their pension coming in, looked after the kids while you were at work. Right then, you've got some extra income, right? You've got childcare sorted, you're with your family, even just from an economic point of view. If you want to be that brutal about it, I think it might actually be pretty beneficial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'd just be finishing dinner and the dishwasher's already going on. I was like, what the fuck? Like, sit down and relax for a minute. She's like, I can't relax till this is done. Having some old person around, breaking their back, doing all the shitty jobs you don't want to do, is great, in all honesty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even their pair is, it's like kind of a gotcha. And I think when someone has done something where they're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This person is a complete arsehole. If you can get their parents to come out and say, yeah they're an arsehole, everyone's like, wow, like, that's even worse!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I kind of think that going to people's parents, even though they're not responsible, like once your kid is a grown up and off doing stuff, like, I mean, the parents of the guys that did the Columbine shooting, they spoke to them, it was like a documentary with an interview with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were like, we didn't know this was coming, and everyone- there's kind of two implications. One, wow, you must be really ashamed. It's like, let's get that on camera, which is kind of shitty. But then also-


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[Assistant] And that's the other reason why they're being interviewed. So did they ever, uh, you know, uh, when they were five, uh, what were they like? Did you know about them? Did they torture insects? And you did nothing? You guys did nothing? Is that right now they're an asshole? It's like, fuck off, like, jeez, what are they meant to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've definitely spoken about Philip K Dick previously on the podcast. I apologize to anyone that's caning through all 200 plus episodes and here's this again.


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[Assistant] Because a lot of writers in that era were really fucking cranking out.


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[Assistant] There's a 15% after that are a seemingly endless war between two sides on an alien planet and one side comes up with some clever strategy.


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[Assistant] And is bonkers. Because there are moments in it where people see the alternate reality. And with their own eyes.


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[Assistant] It's like not clear, as usual, being Philip K. Dick, it's not clear whether it's a hallucination, or whether they're actually seeing some other reality poking into their own. It's unclear. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That does also sound pretty cool, but a lot more dangerous and you've got less money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I just wonder how much the effect of the amphetamines made him question reality. Like, it's such a strong theme. They're like, what if nothing's real? Dude's out of his mind on coke and, and amphetamines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they're huge. And you could just pour through them and there is a lot of similarity between them, which is funny. But I'm sure if you had to pick 10 Philip K Dick stories, you would still struggle to not be locked into the what if nothing's real kind of theme.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just found it funny. Whereas if you look at Black Mirror, I feel like Black Mirror had a very similar kind of, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overriding trope, if you like. There was occasionally, there were variations, but it was like near future, something that currently exists, taken to an extreme.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so there's, there's one of the earlier episodes, uhm, with Bryce Dallas Howard, who is, who is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's brilliant in it. She basically, you actually have like a rating, like your Uber r-rating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and when you interact with people, they give you a plus or a minus sort of thing, and they rate you, and you have an average. In order to get the really good jobs or, you know, get a really nice mortgage or whatever, you need to have a very high rating. It's close to five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being racist to the driver and stuff is like, no, I, I, I just, I don't know, like sometimes I think I forget to rate them, but I almost always tip them and, and, uh, you know, we chat and everything like that, but I must have pissed off some driver at some point. I don't know if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they want someone that people are gonna basically, because it's like a mutually beneficial thing, right? The shark is the show, and the contestants are like the pilot fish, right? And they both benefit. The show benefits from having good looking people that then develop a big following over the course of the show because you wanna tune in and look at these attractive people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one guy that just escaped. It was quite a big deal at the time. They did a This American Life podcast where they talked to him and essentially he was on one of these shows, I don't know if it was The Bachelor or Married at First Sight or whatever, uh, but he just legged it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, Lewis, what you better remember is that in that experiment, I don't think it ran


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ...for several months. If you think about the Big Brother house, these people are isolated and I think they develop...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes there's no way to get around a parked fucking car in the main lane. You have to go into the bus lane. Don't fucking send me a 75 quid fine. I was in there for two seconds. There was nothing on the road. How am I, what am I meant to sit there for a minute while this fucking twack does his turn? No it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So these are some of the casting decisions that were almost made, uh, for the movie. So Daniel Day-Lewis was the first pick to play Aragorn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Russell Crowe was also offered the role. Of Aragorn? I think Russell Crowe as Aragorn would've sucked, and I don't mind Russell Crowe in certain roles, but I don't think it would've been good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so. They look greasy. He was also offered Dumbledore. He was also offered Dumbledore and turned that down. I don't do fantasy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm a big Star Wars fan, but you know, the prequel trilogy, I know that people, people that are in their twenties now kind of grew up with those films and have a lot of fondness for them and a lot of, you know, you can watch them for the memes and everything. They're terrible movies. But the Jar Jar Binks ones. Yea, they're all terrible. Oh man, I know. The Force Awakens. The new three, The Force Awakens was pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but there's a reason for that. Is that sometimes the movie or the source material is bigger than a star. Like if you look at say Mission Impossible, this is a Tom Cruise vehicle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? If you look at a Russell Crowe movie, it's a Russell Crowe movie. You can't have an ensemble cast for Lord of the Rings of big stars because then which of them


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about, how about Jake, Jake Gyllenhaal as Frodo Baggins?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But no one told him he was gonna have to do a British accent. And he was like, oh no, I can't do that. So he didn't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's quite easy to do an American accent that isn't particularly placeable, if you're American, to hear a Brit, like for example, in The Wire, uh, when, uh, what's his name, uh, Dominic, uh, is it Dominic West's accent?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just kind of vaguely American, and he's joked about it since, that his accent was, he just went, oh, like, you know, we gotta solve this case, geez. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's meant to be the hardest one to do. Like the really specific...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if it's really unusual, then you just practice that. But if you just want to do generic American accent that'll sort of get by, you can do that. But a British accent is quite tricky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like my first introduction to fantasy. And you look at what he made with those three movies, and it was like, it felt like a fan film of Lord of the Rings, but with an unlimited budget. Because that, the Lord of the Rings trilogy made so much money, that I think they just said to him, just do whatever you want. And so he just chucked effects at everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, what Peter Jackson did with All of the Rings, I can't doubt him, and his heart. Like, I just honestly have to think, assume as a studio. If anyone knows, do tell us in the fucking comments, I'd love to read them all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you look at what religion is, it is incredibly intolerant. Very, very, I mean, we're literally listing Mr. Rogers as an exception. And we were like, he's very religious, which is surprising because he was really progressive. That's it, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we don't need religion to tell us, oh well there are some good sides to it. No, there are some good sides to humanity. Religion is one of the worst bits that you stick on top. That ruins that good side, but claims to be the best of us. That's how I feel about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's only two out, the next one comes out tomorrow, it's on Apple TV. So interesting. What is it? It's about, I don't wanna spoil anything, I'm not gonna spoil anything. Okay. I will give you the opening...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couple of scenes, I guess. It's, uh, the show opens...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a woman on a table in her conference room, unconscious, and her voice comes through a tiny speaker, and she's dressed like an office worker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's clearly in a place of work. And you think, is she drunk or something? And then this voice comes and says, wake up. And it asks her these five questions. Uh, what is your name? You know, what state are you from? Where are you right now? And a couple of other things. And she gets them all basically wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, office that they work in and it's fascinating. There is one scene where he's having dinner, uh, a dinner party at his, I think it's his sister's house with her and her partner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's a dinner party with no food. It's just exactly the sort of stupid fucking trendy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy, the main character, had studied history, and he was like, well, they didn't call it that because it hadn't been World War II, and they're all like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome to Tri Force episode 200!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a great meme from that, YodCon, where the two of us were listening to you read Bodega.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is, this is how trifles works. You know, we say mark and then we all get a boner and then we all just sort of carry on from there. That's usually how it works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I think TJ's got the extended intro, so it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh thank you. He's left. He's doing it. He's doing it. Oh that's so much better. We shouldn't need any help. We're fine as we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who can manage? Do you, do you, do you need the birds singing and, um, a dog niffing at your ruffles?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's what you get when you play with, you know, the, the Yogscast Poker Champion himself. He's gonna, gonna slap you down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, holy crap, we got a donation, of course we're doing this as part of the Jingle Jam, um, jinglejam.tiltify.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast actually goes out though. Oh no, we do it live. We do it live. Sorry, no. Uh, Casu, thank you. He says, hello, Louis Sips Imperion. I'm very happy to announce that I have a tiny penis. Have a very crimbus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For you, for me it's just been an awkward fest. It's, it's been horrific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's been in all sorts of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like one of these people who will do any shitty like reality TV show that comes along.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so he was, I mean, I actually sort of got grudging respect for him as a defense lawyer rather than a prosecutor, because prosecutors are these, supposed to be these heroes, these like kind of, it's like the go get, it's like the jocks of the lawyer


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The defense lawyers are like these, like they're, they're, they have to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's easier, isn't it, to be the superhero guy arresting people, getting them, ah, you, you've done a bad thing. It's not as, it's not as easy to be like, oh well, he was only, he only stabbed him three times, Your Honour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's have another one. So yeaah, I just noticed someone in chat, the Omnitrix tugs, cause I met Lewis for the first time in August at a Lego show. So there was a little Lego, everyone had brought their Lego to the ground floor galleries and had a load of tables out and were showing off all the Lego they built.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yes, but there's a lot of what's called AFOLs, isn't there? Adult fans of LEGO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Call themselves Loafs. Right. What's, oh, what, Lego of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of a donut shaped table set up and so they could have, they could stand in the middle of the table and people could walk around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, should they be less, I mean, is it one of these terms that is basically just because they're ashamed, you know, and it's just better just to be open with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'd get the Lord of the Rings Lego. I do actually. You know what we should do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like some sort of, some sort of background history that you wanted then? That's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not ashamed of being an adult fan of Lord of the Rings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got to be something, something, look, they would know, but you'd know, you'd be like, I got hairy feet. It's like, oh yeah, me too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sackville Ball Machine Baggins. Hyphenated. Triple, triple barreled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got some donations though. Benedict donated. He says, still hoping for a PFLAX postman pat dub from episode 92. And I have a tiny penis. Do you remember that at all?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, try to just, that, that's a, that's a good challenge. We should ask, we should ask like, what about like quiz questions about this podcast? We probably won't be able to, um, try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why has he put that in his head? That's not going to happen. We're not going to make like the best player in the yoke scales play the worst player in the yoke scales.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 5v5 invokers all the way. Invoker only, yeaah. I would actually watch that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can have two spells active. So you can save, you save two of them, you type in the codes to save, but if you want to play with more than those two spells, like in combat, you then have to type in the codes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] EEE. What is, uh, what's escape? What's the invis?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is QQW. Quick, quick one. What's the ice wall? That is, uh, Q-E-Q. So normally what you get is you get the evoker doing the, the, the, the meatball or the, the, the, the wind. Which is E-E-W. So it's the wind, the wind, they wind you up and then they meatball you, and then while that's happening... What's the one where they're right


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yes, that is, it is a nightmare. Uhm, I've tried it and I can't stand how, how some people only play that as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so I'm looking at Sips' Dota buff activity. Look at the gaps! Look at the gaps, but look at the consistency of these gaps. So basically Sips plays Dota for what looks like about 10 weeks and then stops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just unlocked the secret to how to win a dose of every game. You go 0-15 on bounty hunter. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're also playing with an Ancient, a Legend 4, and an Ancient 5. Who's the Ancient player? The Ancient was, I think... Oh, it's Ashwin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're queuing in with like, this H, this Invoker who killed you was a decent player. He's played like, you know, 10,000 games of Dota. He's not a noob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the end of the game, that's going to be what happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we can do another one of these if we've got anything to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I usually have a little, a little note. I haven't done any research this week though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, you're gonna do that. You know, when your kids are old enough, you'll come around to their house and tell them to tidy up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know whether that ever works though with kids. They just think you're suddenly into it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you think, oh, why, why did I just store my stuff on the floor? And then before you know it, you're just a even bigger slob than you were before. Slippery slope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think when you give your children to people who don't have them, they're terrified, but it's hard for them to say no, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also kind of just annoying to look after someone else's kid or pet or something for the weekend. I agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this is the mailbag special number three, uhm. That's the, that's a perfect intro by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A whisper. A whisper in the, it's like something out of Twin Peaks, you're out, you've just been to the diner and then you're walking home along the side of the road and there's like the great pine trees of the northwest and it's all quiet and then you can just hear a whisper through the trees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, or, or like cut the diff, if you do a super cut of all the ums and you get like all the tones and stuff, maybe with a bit of auto-tuning, we could do an album.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of just, uh, of just umms, you know? Right. It could be like that, like Mongolian throat singing, except that it's, um, it'll be like, uh, us three humming and oing to, to, to some of the greatest hits known to men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. My parents, the last time they picked up something new was probably Facebook, which, you know, years ago or whatever, and they haven't really touched anything else since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just like to go on Facebook and share casserole recipes and do whatever it is that they do on there. You know, I don't think they're doing anything crazy. You know, I don't think they're like, uhm, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chiming in with like, uh, you know, like, um, people that are, are, are spewing out like hate speech or anything like that. Like I think they just, they're part of like a couple of like, uh, enthusiast clubs. Like I think my dad's part of like a world war two enthusiast club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a, it was a cartoon that was on kind of at night though, right? Which was at the time was not, not very commonplace, you know, like it was prime time. It was on at like eight, eight PM, you know, and it was a cartoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, I know it's such a weird fucking show. And then there's a, I think there's like some other series, um, like beyond that, uh, like in the same universe, but it's like, it's like the stories moved on a bit. Like, uh, there's one called like, uh, Cassandra or something. I don't know. It's like some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, that might be it, yeaah. It's like, uh, it's like a girl, but she's like the great granddaughter of like the bald kid or something. I dunno. He was trying to explain it to me the other day. And it seemed like kinda interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like uhm, he has it on in the background, so like I watch it from time to time, especially like if I'm just like, you know, rocking the baby off to sleep or whatever. And it's not, it's not too bad, you know, like I don't mind if it's on because like, I can just, if I'm just sitting there doing nothing, I have at least something to watch and it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels a little off beat, doesn't it? Because it's uhm, it's, it's a cartoon, but it's not, not really like a traditional kid's cartoon, if you like, you know, like the stuff that they would watch on like, uhm, like Nickelodeon or whatever, you know, like they, and they watch some of that stuff, you know, they watch like a teen,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, uh, I was interested, I've never read or watched, uh, Hunger Games, like, because I, when it came out, I just figured like, ah, this is just probably, it's not for me. It's like a, you know, a teen thing or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But after reading, uh, Red Rising, I was, I was interested like in that sort of, um, cause you, cause you know, like a lot of Red Rising, especially like, uh, like I guess it's the first book, I think, or is it the second book in the first trilogy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have that really big Hunger Games-esque bit, right? And uh, and I kinda liked the whole


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, of course. Well, coming back to what I was saying originally, Mad Magazine is something I used to read a lot when I was young, and it just made me think, I remember drawing, do you remember Spy vs Spy? That was really good, the comic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might be like similar to the, I'm sure there was an NES game, but man, I used to love drawing like the little, uh, spies, like with the, with the, like the big cartoon bombs and guns and stuff. We used to, we used to draw them like all the time and at school. And another one that we really liked was, uh, was captain klutz. You remember him? He had like the, uh, he had like that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had like a mask, but it was uhm, I can't remember the artist's name, but he basically like, everybody looked like a, like gonzo. They had these big fucking like weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, magazine, but there was so many things that I remember from it and, and I remember loving it. I used to love the, the, um, the, the, the back of the page, uh, the back of the magazine. Remember you could fold it and like, if you folded like the big picture to what always make the, like the Alfred E Newman's face, like out of the pictures.


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[Assistant] Nice. I mean, it was, it was, it was a weird comic for sure. A lot of Mad Magazine was really odd, but.


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[Assistant] I think they're still, still making them, by, by the looks of it. Is it an online thing now? No, I mean, I think it's, I, I think it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, but I think they're, they're, uh, they're, they're back though. I think there's, there's more coming out. It looks like there's been some new ones recently. And the guy who, the guy who did, uh, Captain Clutz, Mort,


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[Assistant] Mort Drucker? Mort Drucker? I don't know how to pronounce his name. He died in 2020. But he was born in 1929. Holy crap. It's a long time ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like it's all owned by DC now. DC, DC Comics.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, Mad TV, that was like, uhm, it was kinda, it was like a, like, kinda like a Saturday Night Live sketch comedy sort of thing.


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[Assistant] Man, it had some, it had some moments. They had, uhm, do you remember the, uh, the skit Stuart, the grown man who's like playing as like a child? And like he would, he would go to like the doctor or whatever and he just, it was very sort of like, like physical comedy, you know, like he would,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you've never seen, if you've never seen Stuart on MadTV, uhm, it's, I mean, some of it's kind of funny or whatever. It's like, it's, it's, it's, it's probably like a, like a bit of a chuckle, but, and it's such an odd reference. I was watching some of like the, the, the Jubilee coverage over the weekend.


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[Assistant] And, uh, fucking Cliff Richard was on TV and they were interviewing about something, and he looks exactly like fucking Stuart from MadTV. Like, complete with the, he's got fucking blusher on and shit, like it's unbelievable.


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[Assistant] I started watching, uhm, I started watching that, uhm, that show that's, uhm, by the guy who did The Wire. That, well, the team that did The Wire. Uh, We Own This City, I think it's called.


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[Assistant] It's weird when you watch, uh, when you watch footage of like, um, people, like, uh, like, uh, people doing like say like press conference or whatever, like Americans in like, uh, say like the 50s or the 60s, their accents were, were, were far different than they are now, right?


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[Assistant] Like you almost, they almost sound a little bit, um, I wouldn't say like, like British, but you know, like they don't, they don't sound as sort of twangy as they become, right? Like they, like that, that sort of general, that general American accent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where the confusion is setting in for me. Cause I remember growing up in North America in the 80s, and we had on TV all the time a lot of those old ass TV shows, right? Like, they would play them during the day, and they were just big filler shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the live action Mr Bean is great. Honestly, if it's on, I'll watch it. No, the live action Mr Bean is classic. It's so funny.


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[Assistant] Yeah, some of it is just painfully British, isn't it? But it's like, uh, I don't know, it translates, I guess cause there's not, uh, there's just not a whole lot of dialogue in the show, right? So it's all, a lot, a lot of things are just implied sort of thing. And I guess that, that, that sort of breaks down those barriers, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one thing that you don't, I don't find you get as much on North American TV because like, uh, I feel like a lot of the shows that I watched as a kid, um, in, in North America, a lot of the, the scenes and the settings were, were kind of like idealistic, right? Like, uh, like the house is all looked,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, bigger nicer, you know what I mean? Like you, you didn't really have, I'm sure there was some shows, but I just don't, I can't remember like off the top of my head. But, uh, in, in Britain, there's, uh, there are a lot of shows which emphasize like.


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[Assistant] How shit things are, you know what I mean? It's like rising damp and like, you know, shows like that where it's just like, it's just kind of unapologetically, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, they rebooted MacGyver a couple of times, did they not? I think they tried.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On this topic, apparently the new Top Gun movie was pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weren't most of the flight scenes filmed in, uh, in Britain? I dunno, maybe. And apparently they spent a shit ton of money, um, hiring out these, these jets or whatever for these scenes and Tom Cruise was not allowed to actually fly whatever.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he does. He just went to like, he went to like Formula One and he just showed up to everything, right? Like, I think he showed up to some...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, my brain, like, recently, my brain is just all about, like, when I'm just about to go to sleep, I'm thinking about how to do, like, optimal layouts for coal mines and processing and shit like that. Like, that's all I think about nowadays.


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[Assistant] A lot of American sports work like this. There's kind of like a minor league, uhm, but like that, that is below, uh, like the, like what would be considered the major league. So like the NBA, the NHL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, major league baseball and uh, NFL football are kind of like the, like the, like the, like the major pro leagues and then below that you've got like minor leagues and college, uhm, leagues and that's where all the, all of the drafting comes from.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's a, it, it, it takes uhm, I, I think it takes a little bit longer. I, I'm trying to think if, if, if anybody is, is really that young joining uhm, I think, I think the NBA is the most likely, but even then normally they're kind of like already in their 20s because they're usually drafted out of college, right?


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[Assistant] Well, this happens with North American teams. They'll get bought out and sometimes relocated. So you'll have, I'm just trying to think of examples of this, but it does happen. There's tons. I think the Dallas Stars, the hockey team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any hockey or anything. I've been watching some basketball stuff recently though because I watched that winning time and then off the back of watching that we had like basketball fever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we watched The Last Dance. I've seen it before, but I watched the whole thing again. It's really good. My wife saw it for the first time, but it was interesting because she, she's never watched any NBA basketball. And I mean, NBA basketball is, is popular worldwide now, but in the nineties, not so much so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, she only knew about Michael Jordan, uh, because of, uhm, his, uhm, his, uhm, clothing sponsorships, like shoes and stuff, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she didn't really appreciate that, like, how good he was, you know, at basketball. She'd never seen, you know, the Bulls play or anything.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I think she was surprised. It's a really interesting story, but uhm, yeaah, it was nuts. It was good. It was a good repeat watch. I enjoyed it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a great series. Long, but good. Oh man, well I have to watch some of these things. Have you not seen the last dance? Oh, it's really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so no, no recommendation this week. I can tell you what to avoid this week though, because I know Diablo Immortal came out and a lot of people are complaining about it. So maybe that's a must miss. I don't know. It could be like a reverse recommendation.


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[Assistant] Death Effect 2, uh, and I'm sure I've said this before, but I'm gonna say it again because I don't give a shit.


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[Assistant] I finished Mass Effect 2, I did a full playthrough, and I immediately restarted and played through it again. It's the only game I've ever done that with. I just wanted to like, do different things and see different parts of the game through the dialogue and shit like that. It was awesome.


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[Assistant] But all the mechanics around the butthole have changed now anyway, so it's not as great. Uhm, you still have to survive, right?


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[Assistant] I usually just justify it by time, personally. Like, I've bought stuff in the past, like I've bought, you know, cosmetic stuff in Dota, when I played a lot of Dota, I've bought bits and pieces. But I always sort of think, if I'm playing something that I haven't had to pay


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While I was away to just jog my memory about things that we had thought or seen, um, that we thought were funny while we were over there. And as, as much as I love America, and I'm sure Americans listening to this will understand where I'm coming from.


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[Assistant] I love it, but it's insane. The whole place is insane. Uh, and a lot of it makes sense, a lot of it really doesn't make sense, and a lot of it just seems completely bonkers. Uh, and yeaah, it's kinda hard to, uh, kinda hard to say why it's mad, but it is mad. It is definitely mad.


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[Assistant] But there's also just stuff that they do differently where you think, why would you do that? You know what I mean? Like it's hard to explain. So just to give people a quick recap of where I went. We went to California. Mrs. F had been there previously. Uhm, I've been there for work. I've been around LA a couple of times, but never really into LA.


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[Assistant] This was in Inland Empire, which is way out, really. Uhm, so I didn't really get to see much of, of LA itself. And I've certainly never seen the rest of California. We went to San Francisco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then we, we were there for a few days and we went up to Sonoma, which is like wine country, north of San Francisco. Nice. Then we went northwest to Sacramento.


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[Assistant] We didn't mean to go to Sacramento, which I'm sure is true of most people that end up at Sacramento. We didn't mean to go to Sacramento.


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[Assistant] Looked at the trees there, were there for a couple of nights. Then we drove all the way from Sequoia over to Monterey, which is on the coast. Then we were in Monterey for a while, for a couple of nights. Then we went down, uh, to, down the coast and we went to San Luis Obispo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we went to, uhm, LA, and we went to Santa Barbara. Before that, sorry, so we went to San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, LA, then we went to Santa Clarita to go to Six Flags, and then we came home.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and yeah, it was, it was a great trip. It was, we really saw a bunch of, of, uh, California and everybody said, well, you gotta go to San Diego. We didn't get a chance. We'll go next time. So I'd like to get a San Diego and Las Vegas next time, honestly, uh, and maybe spend a bit more time in Santa Barbara because it was gorgeous.


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[Assistant] You know what I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say, uhm, that obviously, you know, we, we, we both got kids, I'm way out of that stage now, uh, and I'll, I'll be honest with you, I feel like the early stages, like pre, pre-10, that, that's like being in a battle. It's like being in a serious war of attrition, it's brutal, but after that, it's, it's like being in,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that would be like, your first is like, the capital city, you've taken that, that's cool, the area around it is getting more and more chill, but now that whole new front has opened up, and you've gotta, suddenly, you've gotta, all these troops are gonna come out of reserve, you know, your already depleted forces are now like, oh god, we gotta handle this whole new front, it's gonna be tough. I feel like the troops already came out of reserve, that's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so I made some notes while I was away on the trip and emailed them to me, uh, so I could remember them. So these are just things that either we said or thought. It's like a tense digital diary. Yes, uh, there's not many.


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[Assistant] So bear with me, so this is the first one, I was watching Telly with Mrs. F and she just said, we were watching some adverts, and she said to me, they're just obsessed with cheese, aren't they? And honestly, they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one quite, that was quite popular while we were there, where they said, do not take this drug if you are allergic to this drug.


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[Assistant] But they were like, ask your doctor about blamamaquil. May cause anal bleeding, uh, penis tearing, eyeball explosions, hair loss, like literally like that.


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[Assistant] You think they've added as many things as possible, like, I think this was from an old McDonald's Burger King ad, where they drop the parts of the burger onto a very bouncy looking, no doubt fake bun, to show you all the many things in this burger and how obviously wonderful and fresh they look in the advert.


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[Assistant] You're gonna bag it. They'll always say to you, do you want me to do a box for this? And we're like, no, we're on holiday. Like, oh, okay. Like, I wish you could say, I'd like this burger, but in like a regular human portion, not the massive one. Just offer the price in half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But half their adverts, like, so many of their adverts are for food. It's either food or drugs. Or, I mean, the other big ones are law firms. And there was an advert that we saw actually for an advert out there, a guy comes up and says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My name's Chet Hanceville, and I represent you. And blah blah, call this number. And he said in small print at the bottom that he was not licensed to practice law in California.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so here's the next, the next reminder. All this, this, this is three words. Cabbie. Fresno? Jesus. So we got in a cab at one point and the guy asked us where we were going next and we said Fresno and he literally went, Jesus. Like we'd really insulted him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everyone we spoke to in California when we said we were going to or had been to Fresno had the same sort of visceral reaction.


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[Assistant] Uh, no, to be fair, when we were there, it was 41 to 42 degrees. It was unbelievably hot.


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[Assistant] It's just, it's like one of the worst parts of California. That and Bakersfield and-


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[Assistant] Because California is shaped like, it's like, there's the coastline, then there's a huge mountain range, then there's a vast, beautiful,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Farming valley, which is like, if this was Civ, if this was Civ, this is like, the ideal place. You, this would be, you would feed every city in your empire from this little section, it's unbelievable. Then there's another big mountain range, every, what did I say?


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[Assistant] So you see these reservoirs, there's this reservoir, I think it's called the California Reservoir, I could be wrong, it's probably called the Sand Something Reservoir, but either way, it's on the way into Monterey from Fresno, we went past it, Californians will know, it's a vast, vast lake surrounded by hills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is their reservoir for like this part of California. Obviously this is connected by irrigation to all of these farms because you just, it's so much farmland. They're growing so many different things. I wish they weren't growing so many fucking almonds because apparently they're like the thirstiest plant. Stop growing so many fucking almond trees. You're killing yourselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so almond milk is meant to be better, right? But California is growing all of these almonds, like we went past mile after mile after mile of fucking almonds, and they're just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was like, as we're driving in south towards Sequoia, we can see Yosemite on fire. There's this huge pool of smoke hanging across the horizon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And people like, oh yea, they closed a couple of gates, I heard they lost about 10,000 square


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was like last year's burn or something that this part of Sequoia had burned. It was terrifying. Luckily, we didn't see any burned down, um, like big Sequoia trees. These were all like pines and things like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're really worried about the fact that if they have a big fire, they're gonna lose like the general Sherman tree or whatever it's called, which is like this unbelievable living thing to see. It's like seeing a whale.


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[Assistant] That's unbelievable. It's, it's, until you've stood at the base of it, you can't really appreciate how large it is. It's, it's insane.


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[Assistant] And, uh, our ears were popping the whole time we were driving up there. The air was so thin, I was knackered going up like half a flight of stairs. I was like, fuck it all, like we had to keep stopping. It was really, really awful. Uhm, but it was beautiful. It was absolutely beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't, I can't possibly imagine otherwise because we saw some elements that my kids were not impressed by, the musty crusty stuff. So what else have we got? Oh yea, bear attacks, youngest very concerned. That's a note I've made here. When we got to Sequoia,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, but I was like, just in case, you know, you never know, I want the plan to be, I don't want to be dying to a bear attack and then Mrs. F and the kids are just standing there screaming, I want them to be running away so that at least my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Americans, you cannot drive. You cannot fucking drive. I've driven in Florida and it was bad. I've driven in, uh, all over California and it was fucking awful. Maybe in the other states, it's okay. I'm sure you, some American folks are like, well, you should drive in Texas, mate. We're all really good at driving. They cannot fucking drive in California. The roads suck. The markings on the roads suck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The quality of the roads is abysmal, and they all drive like it's fucking dodgems. Everybody's just signaling and turning, not signaling and turning, weaving around, overtaking, undertaking, they're all either driving way too fast or way too slow, and you're constantly surrounded by these enormous trucks that take up the entire lane, so when you are trying to overtake them, you're like practically, it's like fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In like, huge thick work trousers, big work boots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, or maybe they're just used to it. Most of them seem to be, uh, like Latinos, so maybe it's much hotter in Mexico, they're just used to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, oh, it's quite cool today, it's only 41. But yea, maybe it's like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, a lot of the prostitutes, you're like, holy shit, like, this girl is like, really good looking. And she doesn't have like, all track marks all over and look like she's sleeping rough. She's like a really high-end- She's got all her teeth and stuff? Yeah, she's like a really good looking girl. And she's right there in a window, and she's like making eyes at you. It's like, oh my god, I could see how people would come here and just lose their minds. But I, but I mean, I am not someone who's just gonna


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They hate us in France, as in people that don't live in Paris, they hate people that don't live in Paris, and now there's gonna be a ton of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was something the Americans were complaining about the petrol prices. It was half the cost it is here. Half the cost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That we could have walked. But I said, look, let's get a lime scooter, one of those little scooters you can get, and I'll give the kids lifts back to the flat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you end up walking for miles with this thing that's running out of battery trying to find somewhere to park it, cause you're gonna need to park it in certain areas.


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[Assistant] Absolutely shocking. It was shocking. I could barely, I didn't get a signal, I would say 70% of the time. I didn't get any kind of signal. Because Vodafone goes to T-Mobile, I know you've got to go. Vodafone goes to T-Mobile, it sucks.


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[Assistant] Wait, I've got something. I've got something. Don't be Joe Hickson. Be someone who clicks on the link to ExpressVPN. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I liked it, I liked it because he was like, uh, he was, he was a Batman for our times. You know? Recession Batman. Like, he doesn't have all the fancy gadgets that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, uh, that the other Batman had. His car is just like a souped up car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His motorcycle is just like a motorcycle and he gets his arse kicked quite a bit. Like he's just like a lad trying to do his best rather than some, like he doesn't flaunt the whole billionaire thing. Uhm, they don't really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's got fucking Andy Serkis as his butler for Christ's sake. I mean, you'd think you could afford someone better than Andy bloody Serkis, but no. So I liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that means the, the, the back mobile is a Masili Argo mobile. That doesn't work at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I am 100% sure we've mentioned this before, but for any Germans watching, the thing that they always talk about is this British sketch about a very old wait butler serving a very fancy old lady drinks at New Year's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they play this on TV, and everybody gets around, it's like a big family thing, and they all know every bit of it. It's like, it's only ten minutes long, like, I've met multiple Germans, young and old, who will say to me, ah yes, you must, uh, you're British, you must enjoy the sketch. And I can't remember what it's called, but they always get one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, George does, cause then, oh wait, is it Jerry that gets him and then, but it's the assistant for that old guy that they steal the records from, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Super FX, yeaah, I think it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't end the ride, because you need to have a signal to say, end ride, and the bike needs to be in a specific place, a parking spot, that's what they demanded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you have to put it in this parking spot so if you can't get the signal


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[Assistant] I mean, I don't think these companies ever began with an intention of making money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a lot of these tech startups, the plan is, you start this up,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You run it for a year or two. You get loads of investors. No, you get loads of investors, yea. You make loads of money personally, and then you just go, ah, well, fucking pack it up. And then you can go around and say, oh, I was a part of the tech startup, but we made this much. We did this many rollouts. They're like, oh, you sound like you know what you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what I'm saying is those investors can't be that stupid if they've got shitloads of money. So they must make some good investments, but I think a lot of the time they just think, well look, if we invest in a hundred things this year,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And three of them explode and make us a shitload of money. Job done. And if we have to write off a few billion along the way, then so be it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need the app for each one. So you have to go along. It's like, well, there's no limes around here. Well, there's this fucking whatever it's called, the, the booth bikes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? We could get a Booth bike. And Booth's got her startup company, Booth Bikes, and you can scan the thing, and then you can add the thing, and blah blah. You gotta pull your payment details in, or confirmation balance, blah blah blah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 minutes of faff and about, now you can ride their bike. There is no central app, is there? Where I can just say, just get me on this fucking bike, and I'll worry about it later. That's what you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think of the waste. All those lithium batteries gone. Just clogging up the streets. All the materials in these fucking bikes. And then when you- I mean I've ridden one. And I'm sure I looked a cunt when I was on it. I had fun doing it. But you see people riding them all the fucking time and I always think they're a cunt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, there was a lad that, uh, a lad, I think he either died or he got very, very bad head injury. He was going along near me, near, uh, in Twickenham, and came off his...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either way, he, uh, gosh, that sounds really dark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, sorry, I'm genuinely sympathetic, it's awful, but he was going along on one of these electric scooters, I think he came off it and got hit by a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so they had to, the air ambulance had to land on Twickenham Green and airlift the guy away, unfortunately. So they are, they are very dangerous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they wanna take him to like a super hospital, so they pop him in the helicopter and zoom him up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are some police that fucking use segways. What a shit looking vehicle. Like honestly, they just, you look a twat on a segway. I don't care what you're wearing or who you are. You could be the coolest person ever if you're on a segway. Eh, it's like the bum bag of transport. You just look a twat. It really is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In June 2020, Ninebot, the owner of the Segway brand, announced it would no longer make the Segway. Only 140,000 units were sold during the lifetime of the product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd bosh it on, but they don't. And when you're drunk, you make bad decisions, so even worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I can, I can give you guys a little thing that we did around the house. We did it ourselves because it was a small job. We fitted, if you've got Velux windows in your loft conversion, those are those windows where you sort of pull down at the top of the window, sort of lever that you clonk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love them, they're great, they're great, they're great windows, very good windows. It's this blind that you can get for the outside of the window. So we've got blinds on the inside, they're built in, but you can also fit very easily, and the Velux people have thought about this, and I like that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you install the Velux windows, it instructs you to drill these little holes in the wood at the top of the bracket where the Velux sits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you remove this bit of plastic there that you, I don't know, know what it does, you take that bit of plastic out and you put this blind in above it and then you attach it to hooks on the outside of the window that you installed. The screw holes are there already on the window. When you close the window, the blind is automatically drawn down because it's attached to the bottom of the window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you've got a blind on the outside and it reduces the light from the sun hitting the window because the problem is our top room


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you were against them, but I'd be happy to give one. No, no, remember we started doing one big up, uh, per podcast. Okay, well, if I may, if I may, I'd like to give a big up to Velux. Velux Windows, very good. You may, you may.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that means you have to really understand it and get involved in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all thought, by the way, we all thought we were over jet lag because yesterday was so easy. And I'd forgotten that the second day is when it really hits you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this morning, I woke up at about 4.30, uh, I was having a mad dream that I was playing in a golf tournament. But the golf tournament was taking place in an office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was a, it was a big office, but it was literally, I, I, the, the green was just about 30 or 40 yards away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jet lag has struck again. Because my dream was so weird, I couldn't get back to sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The worst thing is there's added pressure in the dream, because occasionally, like I said before, my dreams cut to like, a different person's perspective, like I'm watching TV, and I was watching the TV coverage of Rory McElroy, who was a famous golfer that I was playing against in this tournament,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the jet light, I guess. She's got a minging headache, you know what I mean? Yeah, so she was like uuuh. And she was crying, she knows that when the door is closed and I'm recording, please don't come in. So she was worried about coming in during the recording, because yesterday she did it just to say hello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, uhm. Mostly by you. I just, uh, for the record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not selling it either. People, uh, people turn up and they're like. What do people want now? They want exciting. They want fresh and exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't want predictable content. They don't want to turn up here and think, these guys are just gonna go off on one about getting a boner at a funeral or whatever shit they come up with next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, like it's all, it's kind of hammed up, right? We're going more for the vibe of three old men sitting in your kitchen. Just imagine we're sitting in your kitchen and we're in the middle of a big boiler installation and we're taking a tea break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, maybe not so much in the mainland, although I'm sure this exists on the mainland. We, we refer to you guys as the mainland. Uh, in Jersey, there's not many forests. So like, uh, if you're Canadian and you go camping, you camp in a forest, right? Uh, predominantly, I would say you, you're, you're, you're camping like in the woods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. But I find, but my experience with camping over here is that you camp in a field. Same with a caravan, you park up in a field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and away you go sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ottawa, you could do, you could pretty much see all the interesting stuff in like a day or two. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ottawa, so if you, if you wanted to drive from Ottawa to Toronto it would be about six hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ottawa to Montreal is about two hours. It's a little bit less on the train. Train's maybe a little bit easier, more interesting. Or it's like a, like a, you know, an hour flight or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a little bit more chill Canada for sure. It's a bit, it feels a bit more laid back somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the spin that you put on it. Um, there's, uh, you know, with the whole, like, uh, with the Queen passing and, you know, members of the Commonwealth, um, some, some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's, let's, let's say that, uh, that, that Canada, uh, were to leave the, the commonwealth and to sort of like denounce the, the, the monarchy and no longer take part or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The influence of America, especially with Canada being so close, is that without some of these things that are uniquely Canadian in that part of the world, they just become another America, right? Like, there's not much differentiating. Like, you know, there's nothing that really sets them apart anymore if they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they drop all this stuff, right? And then they just become a, um, you know, a Western, a Western country in close proximity to America with, you know, a high standard of living or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a couple of referendums like in the 90s, uh, where Quebec was wanting to separate that they never really, they never got anywhere with. I mean, so I guess it's a little bit like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they just, they, they just keep pushing for it. But I think it's, uh, I think that wasn't, uh, it wasn't even close in Canada. It wasn't like, you know, just slightly less than half or anything like that. I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the big population center in Quebec is, Montreal is the biggest city in Quebec. Montreal is very close to the border with Ontario. So Montreal is a French Canadian city, if you like, but there's a lot of English Canadians living there, right? Because of how close it is to the rest of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like deepest, darkest French Canada, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's mostly French, but the further north you go in the province of Quebec, the more French it becomes, right? And like, to the point where there's some people there that just do not speak any English or will just refuse to speak it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't realise it was that close actually, holy shit. Traditionally in Canada, the federal government is represented by a French Canadian, like it's pretty rare, like that, uh, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the long-standing prime ministers of, you know, days gone were French Canadian. You know, like straight up from Quebec or at least from Montreal or whatever. Like the representation of the, the Western provinces is not, not huge and never has been, uh, at least in my lifetime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, I don't know, it's like, it's like an essential part of it but they, you know, they want to leave or become independent for whatever reason. I don't know what...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That looks like after they achieve independence, like what the hell do they do? I mean, it's a, it's a huge province. They have a lot of lumber, uh, they generate a lot of hydroelectricity, I guess, um, which is, I mean, it's all good stuff, but like, I don't know, like it just seems, you seem a lot stronger as a, as a full country rather than, you know, an independent


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You left, and you're like, yeaah, I'm just gonna keep all my whorehouses, uh, are you? You know, it doesn't work like that, does it? I mean, in the- In the real world-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think, uh, Wales and Scotland and stuff, these, these places became part of the United Kingdom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when's your video expected to come out? Is it dropping today? Are you dropping your big reaction video today?