[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah. Yeah. When I brought the, uh, Princess hot chicken, I brought it. So me and Hannibal go get it. Mine doesn't come out. So I have to kind of just take it home with me because he's already done eating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then I take it, I take it, I wasn't living here. I wasn't moved back here yet. So I was just staying at my parents' house. So I go back and I had a show and I think I had a show with Johnny W and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we did a church somewhere and I remember I had to drive to that church so I just set it there and I was like, well I gotta go now, I gotta go do this other gig. And so I left and then my dad came home and then just started eating it because he didn't know whose it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he just started, he was like, oh, there's some chicken. I'll just eat this chicken. He just started taking big bites of it. Just eating, not knowing it's hot chicken. So he was eating it like it's regular chicken. And it doesn't hit you right away sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, so it's like, yeah, it's very funny to be like, he was just sitting there, just going, you know, it's like a couple bites, you know, watching TV, just not knowing. And then just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boom! Just lit him up. Changes your day instantly. Yeaah. Yeaah. He was like, what is with this chicken? Uh, so yeaah, you can go to Prince's, you can go to Hattie B's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, I love that area too. It's a great, like if you're coming this weekend, yeah, this weekend to Bridgestone, it is a good, it's on Broadway, uh, it's right across the street from Bridgestone, uh, there's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a bunch of little, you can go grab a bunch of different kind of stuff in there and, uh, you know, you can sit wherever you want. It's like a, it seems like a nice, it's like a nice cool food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were an arena football team. And we made it to the championship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I remember going to it. Wow. And we lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 19,000, because I knew some people that went and they were saying like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't like as all, cause they just did it last minute. I knew Mumford and Sons was 19047.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Awesome. Like you see the picture is just, you see where the thing is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I thought he did break the record that day, or I thought they said it in some things, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you what, you don't hear much about the Eastern Hemisphere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hear about it a lot. I've never heard. I only hear- Like Europe and- I only hear it's the biggest in the western hemisphere. I've never heard someone go, you know that's the biggest in the eastern hemisphere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. So, so it's like the equator decides it, right? Yeah. And then what decides the West and East?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just hear East. Eastern philosophy, Eastern. Eastern philosophy I've heard. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So what's the Eastern? Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, it's got two names. Prime meridian. It's just not, it doesn't flow. Yeah. Sounds like a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the Western is basically, it's everything, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so we would be the North West Hemisphere. And W.H. But no one says that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't, then there is no northern and southern hemisphere. I guess they don't say that. They say equator, north and south pole, north pole, south pole. So what is the northern hemisphere? It's broken up into quarters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm here to say that I think most people say it's the biggest in the western hemisphere. Most people go, okay, and they don't have any concept of, you're never like, oh wow. Yours is like, meh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they have to. Cause that's like, you know, this side of Mississippi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, people in the Eastern Hemisphere go, yeah, yeah, say that over here. They go, they won't say it over here. That's what they would say. Because we got indoor, bigger indoor stuff. What's the biggest in the world?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So how are you searching indoor on, you can just search a word on a website. Yeah, you do fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These college boys. Yeaah. That's crazy. Look at that. I know. I never thought I'd see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, cause you don't want to sk- I mean, you couldn't do a bot, uh, statue. I think you need to be big to have a statue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't see many, you see a lot of in shape, you need to be wearing a lot of clothes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the penguins, when we did the, uh, when I did the penguins thing, they had a game the next day at 3pm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, that's a quick turnaround. They turn it around, the one I was in, in Raleigh, they were, we, uh, I mean before we left on the bus, we were in there at midnight, they already had all the ice and everything up. They're waiting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, they just, I mean, once it's over, it's, it's, they, stage gets packed up, everything gets put back and yeaah. It's, it's pretty great. You watch them put seats everywhere and I mean, they, they, they, it's a tight ship. And if you want to double up on some comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you, it's, the Nashville Comedy Festival is a great thing. Look at these two here at the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bobby and Big J. Big J is a special route. Big J Oakeson, uh, he just put it out. If Big J is, uh, New York comic, very, extremely funny. Uh, I mean, one of our close friends. Uh, very dirty though. So just, uh, giving you that warning out, uh, you know, not all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you, if you, uh, you just, if you be aware, you know, if you're going to listen to some, uh, but yeah, someone I've known, uh, you know, for 15 years, but extremely funny, has a special out now. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yea, it'll be fun. The Nashville Comedy Festival is becoming, it's a good festival, man. Yea, it is. It really is. It's always been really, really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when you go standing there and they do your thing, what do you do? Crouch down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You get it the way, I feel you get your height the way we tell Bigfoot's height.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they just showed of you. I mean, it looks like, uh, you're on one of those, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, when it's in something, I don't, I don't know if I'm just crazy, but I like, I would support Marshmello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to paint a picture here. Yea, we're just kinda, just doing our thing, and having a good time, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As Dusty says, and then you just gotta, well, you're the bad news now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but they're during the show, but they're being- Don't go on the 15th. Sunday is Sunday family day. Trying to wind down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you're here, I mean, some people might be coming and staying for some of the Nashville Comedy Festival. That will be going on all week. Uh, and then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fun stuff to see. Yeah. Yeah, maybe is there, yeah, is there, we're missing any other touristy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Hard Rock Cafe's still there, yeah. I was wondering, that's been there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went there when I was a kid. Forever. It has. That was like the first big thing. That was the first big thing. And yeah, and it's our, it was, it's been there forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so you might think, ah, there's no reason to go to Hard Rock, but there's, I don't know, they've been there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So long and always kind of like, since the early 90s. Second Avenue was our, our street, uh, white horse saloon. Yeah. White horse saloon there. Second Avenue was a street that was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd go drive down it, uh, and listen to your music, people would listen to your music loud. Like that was a, that used to be, I don't, they don't do that now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but we'd always just go up and down second avenue. And then you would drive your car. That was the big thing. Go driving a car. I mean, it was really treated like a small town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nashville, back when we grew up. I mean, Nashville grew- Even though it wasn't, until we got the bat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if people want to go eat, whereas eating is probably a big thing. Yeah, I'm not a foodie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We said go to a food court. In Satco. In Satco. But that food court is really great. Yeaah, yeaah. We told you to go to two things that will cost you about eight dollars. Yeaah. Like, you know. Now, but, uh, Satco, yeaah, we like Satco food. What's a big famous restaurant? Husk?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Gulch. Walk over the Gulch. It's got restaurants. West End. Uh, West End's where Vanderbilt's at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's uh, right over, across by the Titan Stadium. Yeaah. Yeaah. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're walking with your like regular friends and you gotta go, hold on. Like when the lane goes, talks to those old friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right in front of the Home Depot. I'm there every other day. At the Herman and Starbucks? Yeah. Yeah, I've been in there all in that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry. Whataburger. If anyone wants to go to Whataburger, it's over in Hermridge. And you can see where this, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know I'll cry. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be, it's, it's going to be, yeah, I'm, I think I'm off the next week. I think it was a good, like. Yeah, take a break after this. Yeah, just to be, it's one, yeah, just to be like, take it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright. Well, we'll all be there. Good deal. Good deal. I'm excited. Uh, see you at Bridgestone if you're coming. Uh, if not, we'll see you out on the road. Uh, we love you. Thank you. And, uh, we'll see you next week. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Vargetse. And my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's episode of the NateLand Podcast brought to you by Fabric.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello, fresh indeed and electric e-bikes. Hello folks and Hey bear. Welcome to the Nate land podcast with, uh, Brian Bates here in Weber, dusty sleigh. Uh, this is a nighttime taping. This is late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might like it. Are we going to start doing it all the time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. We'll see how the energy is. One o'clock comes quick. For a comedian. Yeah. You know what I mean? Uh huh. Is it not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, expect the sun to not be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, well one day, one day I do think that I'll wake up and it won't be there. Do you keep an eye on it? Do you go, do you think you wake up and just like, just a little, make sure you see it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wake up, make sure everything's- Just a quick peek outside. Just a quick peek outside, make sure the sun's right, and then be like, alright. And then kinda start your day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where does it go? It pops up from the east. Yeaah. I mean, it's crazy. It is wild. It doesn't make sense. Yeaah. Uh, you got a pretty aggressive hat on today. Uh, Aaron Weber. Yeaah, what is that? It's the Indianapolis Clowns. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. It was a modern league team? It was a negro league team. Is it? Yeaah. Oh really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does anybody, you know, Sheila Strojack? Oh yeah. Oh, I know the name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, we did, uh, yeah, we're doing this one tonight, uh, uh, uh, I just got back, uh, from the American Century, uh, championship. I watched the entire thing. Did you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do a hole in one challenge, so whoever gets closest to the pin wins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not no, on this golf tournament. Okay. So this golf tournament, uh, one of the funnest times, uh, of my life. I, I, it was the best. The whole thing is, I think if more, look, Tahoe, like I get, like if you're down here in the, you know, if you live in the South or it's like, Tahoe is not an easy place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are in a place that we think about going, uh, but man, what an event to go to. I mean, you signed, I was not prepared for what it was. I, you, uh, we got in and right when I got in, we kind of like, I had to go, I played in two programs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, at that course and fans are allowed to walk around those programs. So, uh, you got two days of the program, then three days of the actual tournament. And, uh, it's, I mean, right when you get there, I mean, you're just like kind of mobbed and everybody's like, Hey, you're signing autographs, you're taking pictures. It's a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty overwhelming kind of thing, especially not expecting it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's also done very, very nice. I mean, everybody's so nice. Every, the fans are so wonderful and they're walking around and they're, you take pictures and you meet a lot of people. And, uh, it was, I met, Laura just sent me that picture. I didn't meet, uh, my, my buddy, Kellen, uh, he came and I haven't seen him. Kellen, I did a polar plunge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy in the right behind him in the red shirt, I met him too. That guy hung out and kind of followed us around for like two days. That guy was a great guy. Uh, he's a big fan of the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and he, I made a video for him because his wife was watching the kids and so, so he could come back one more day. Uh, but, uh, Kellen here is the best. So that was the last time I've seen Kellen. We did, uh, uh, we did a polar plunge together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, I, Kellan had been doing on that whole day. He's, he's unreal. And I mean, and they, it was the funniest thing because they, when we did the polar plunge, we were, uh, I came out and they were like, you could go to the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, I mean, just a wonderful, wonderful surprise that I did not expect to see him there, and I got to see him. And he walked around me, uh, one of the days, and I mean, he's the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this was a few years ago when I did it with Kellen. And then where were you at this? That was in Minneapolis. And then, uh, Utah. I mean, Utah. Uh, Lake Tahoe. Oh yeah. Wow. That is something. But so like, I mean, you just walk around like, you know, you have the groups following you and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're playing and it's, I played, you know, it's a stable for, my goal was to, I wanted to beat all the comedians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta celebrate that. Ray Romano, Rob Riggle, Colin Jost, Cable Guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was out of 90 something maybe or something like that. I was kind of in the middle. I, I, I.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did not play good the first day. You're kind of nervous. Yeah. Uh, I didn't really know what to expect. I was nervous. And then, uh, and then the last two days I played better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You cannot double bogey, that's the big key. Cause you get, you lose minus two points if you double bogey. So being in the positive, once I looked at the scoring and you go out there, you're, you realize finishing in positives. Like, so you get 10 points for a double eagle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 8 points for a hole-in-one, which Steph Curry got a hole-in-one. Uh, I think, uh, for a hole-in-one, an eagle is maybe 6 points, a birdie is 3 points, a par is 1 point, a bogey is 0 points. Double bogey, minus 2 points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, double bogey would be on a, uh, one hole. Like, so if it's a bow, if it's a par four, a bogey is a, you took you five shots and a double bogey is six shots. Triple, seven, triple, but they don't, any, oh, no, no, no. If you're triple and quadruple and you're probably not even


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's why they, uh, only let you put, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they stop it at, at two points. So like, if you got a double eagle, I mean a double bogey before you're even to the green, like you've hit in the water and all this stuff, you just pick your ball up and you're just kinda like, alright, just minus two points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, it's like embarrassing, cause like guys are shooting 112. And then you're like, well I don't, you know, if they're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so they did it to stay before it moves it along a lot quicker, but you got to put everything in and out. I think I shot it in 88 first day, 82 second day and 85 third day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a lot of doubles and that's what, that's where I messed up. Uh, but it's, I mean, what an event to go to if you're, you know, with kids, a lot of kids, you can get autographs. They all, you know, uh, you know, obviously they go after the athletes mainly, uh, velocity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd been good. I bet on myself you could do it at the casino and it was 20, uh, I think it was 250. It was like 20 bucks to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2500 or something, or it was something, I don't remember. Uh, but they don't, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk to him for quite a while. He's the best and not what you would expect. Really not what you would expect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a super fun guy. It's not, it's honestly, I kind of expected like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it's just a good time. John Elway's a good time. Like, you can see if you're paid manning and you go meet him, you're like, this is my guy. This guy's awesome. Like, it's a party. And it's a fun time. And obviously it's John Elway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, met Steve Young, uh, got a picture with John Elway and Steve Young. Steve Young, found out he's coming to the Salt Lake City show. Oh, that's great. Uh, yeah, they all like, everybody's just, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so nice. And, uh, Baker Mayfield, hung out with him. Uh, Jim McMahon. I love Baker Mayfield. Love that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Jim McMahon's a fun time too. Uh, Charles Barkley was, uh, I saw Charles, like Charles is very nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I met him and I said, I introduced myself or whatever. I didn't expect him. He was like, I know you. And then that was it. They did it and I was like, oh, that's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was, cause you, I mean, you were there, you're like, I don't expect anybody to know. Sure. Yeah, it was a comic. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I like, everybody saw what happened like in all this stuff and like how good he is and he's unreal and like Marty Fish, the tennis player and like these guys are unreal. But man, when you go play with these pros, it's cause Steph Curry played an event and like he did good one day, but I mean to do it for four days and like you can have a round where you go, but I mean, dude, the pros are, they're still


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't make a mistake at all. Like if you, I watched the last, cause I got done early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I was in the hotel room and I just watched like the end of the round when they were playing. I mean, on one of the holes, it's like, you, you know, Steph went off in the woods. They all kind of went off the woods, like, and they get back and kind of, you know, can bogey it and whatever. And they're shooting 67th, like four, he shot like four under one day and like even and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An unbelievable golfer, but that course is not the long, it's altitude, not the longest. So these guys can bomb it far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and it's not taking anything away from him, but the difference of him and a pro is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty crazy. It would be, I mean, it'd be like a good, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone becoming Steph Curry, you know, like, uh, I mean, Dustin Johnson, I think could have played basketball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like in college and you'll be like, well, could he have been Steph Curry? Like, I mean, no, but he can go be Steph Curry in golf and like, he can do that. But I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, he, he's it, the golf, the real pro, the real golfers are, it's, it's another world, dude. These dudes, they bomb it and they bomb it straight. And it just never goes off. And if they would have been on the, where they were like in this altitude and where these tees were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they would have drove a lot of greens. They'd have went for them. They would have got way ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Eli. Yeah, I did. Eli who? Uh, this is their Pro-Am. I don't know his last name, but, uh, Eli.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, he's going to go play golf. I mean, this is the difference. He's playing, I think he might be going to college to play golf. Maybe he's in high school. And so we're playing. And then he told me if, uh, he can out drive me, I will mention him on the podcast. Pretty easily did that. I, I then proceeded. That's Nate. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you hit yours good? Here's how I was hitting my driver so bad that I did not use driver during the tournament.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what, this is the Pro-Am. So Thursday, so Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I used 3-wood the whole time. Wow. Did not use driver. So Eli gave me the chance with this 3-wood. I was bombin' this 3-wood, Eli. So then we let Eli go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I don't think his dad's filming. And then, uh, we mentioned it, you can fast forward a little bit, like, it's, uh, Eli, Eli crushes it. I mean, cause this is, Eli's gonna go play for real. And he just bombs it right over the, uh, thing with all that pressure. You know, he hasn't swung a club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just immediately was better than mine. And like, and it's the, but that's the difference that, and that's just a kid that's going to go play in college. Steph Curry is very, very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is their life. Well, who won the whole thing? Steph Curry. Oh, okay. He had an eagle the last time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was a weird situation. If you go watch it, Marty Fish, tennis player, was up and, uh, on 18, right when he swung, someone yelled in his backswing and it was on purpose and it was yelled because it was, it was yelled perfectly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, but it was someone in the crowd and they yelled and then Marty Fish's ball went way right. And then, so he had to punch out and all this stuff and just make par. And then Steph Curry made a eagle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he birdies, he wins automatically. Uh, not saying he would have birded it, but it's, that's a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a, it's a crazy deal. He had a punch out and then have a long, he had a tough par to make going in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean that, yeah, I mean, I don't think no one rigged, but it's like, you get a lot of Steph Curry fans out there. And so they don't want Steph Curry to lose. And it's crazy that Steph even won, but it's, uh, it was, it was a, you know, it's a, it's a weird thing, but that the event is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Super fun, uh, very, very kid friendly, uh, you know, kids signing autographs and, or you sign a lot of kids autographs, a lot of like, it, it's a, every, the, the celebrities are all cool. I mean, the ones, you know, I met, they were awesome and it's, uh, I, I, I highly recommend, if you're,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either want to go to it or if you're around that area when that comes, that's a great event to go to. A fun, you know, if you want to meet some players, it's easy. It's pretty easy access to meet everybody. I don't know about me, you know, Steph, and that's, you're going to have to go. I think you would meet them, but it's going to be a lot harder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I golfed with him two days. Awesome. Brian Bump Gardner. He's great. He's great. I had him in a cable guy and then I had him and Rob Riggle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which was super fun. And then last day had Halle Ledbetter. Very, she's very funny and she does a lot of golf videos and stuff. And, uh, I did a video with her once and then, uh, she does stuff on golf pass and then, uh, Colin Jost. I've known Colin for a while, but we've never really got to walk and hang out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so that was pretty cool. When you play that 17, I mean, it's like music playing. It's, I mean, it's a lot of people out there. It's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is fun to watch and I think people like watching, uh, like what it would look like if they golfed out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Ray Ray played really good. Ray was, I was, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As the comics, being the comics, I was like, I got nervous, cause he was at zero, then he had one point, so he might have finished at one point, uh, but Ray seemed to play pretty good, and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you know, and then you got like, if I, we didn't, if I want to have had double bogeys, which is a big wish list to not have those, I would, I would have had 30 points, but double bogeys are, that's, I gotta get rid of those before next year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what a great event and it's super fun and yeah. And if you got, look, if you want to meet celebrities like me who will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can walk right up to me. There's a lot of us, you can come up pretty quick, uh, cause, but I think you can get close to everybody. If you go sit somewhere, you're going to get close to everybody. And you know, it's Vince Carter. It's like, it's all these, like it's like your people that you're around. Charles Woodson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's there? Uh. Mr. Peterman? Mr. Peterman, I talked to him. Oh, you did? Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, I mean, there's a whole circuit of, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people that like that do these events. Larry Fitzgerald said we, me and Larry had a side bet as well. I did lose to Larry Fitzgerald this time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know if I talked about it the last time. Last time, he, I won our side bet at Pebble Beach, but Larry pretty easily handled that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Handled me this time and uh, I landed with a text of a guy just going from Larry Fitzgerald just being like, Hey, hey, where's the money? And I was like, all right. So yeah, awesome, awesome time, man. A really good time. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your character should have been like a wizard that's like, well I haven't done this in a while. Like, you know, you kind of hung it up, you got a real life now, and then they brought you back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shaking the rust off. Yeaah. Yeaah. Trying to get your wand tuned up. Yeaah, stuff shooting plate. You're like, well I didn't mean to, you got a wall on fire. You're like, well I didn't mean to, I haven't, I'm trying to get back in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that, were you all doing anything? Nah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what a man's supposed to do. Yeah. It felt good. Uh, start with you guys' comments. Kevin Hansen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love how eclectic a group you guys are. Eclectic. Eclectic. Eclectic. It's a weird word. Electric. Eclectic. That's what you say? Eclectic. You say eclectic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eclectic. I thought that's what I said. Eclectic e-bike. I love how eclectic a group you guys are and how everyone brings their knowledge or at least confidence in the subject of the Nate Land table every week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This week's cars episode was a good one. Dusty pulled so many songs with car references out of who knows where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say you probably could create a great road trip playlist, but I don't think anyone who listened to the cars episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should probably get in a car he is driving. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Randy Moore, by far this episode is the best Dusty episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way he said don't drag gourmet into this had me tearing up laughing. His input in wild stories carried the whole episode. I've never related to something the way I did when he said he loves to sit in a car and smoke a cigarette. That is usually what I'm doing while watching the podcast. I love you guys and the show brings me joy every week. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How long would that tell you, how long would it take to check in there? Five minutes. And then what do you gotta do? Like go, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Ben Bryant, I love this episode. I am an auto claim adjuster for a large insurance company. Totaling a car depends entirely on the cost of repairs versus the value of the car and the state you are in. Most states are around 75% of the value, but a few are at 100%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is why an older car with minor damage can be a total loss and a newer car with heavier damage is not. That makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, I think I may hold the record for most total vehicles by a non-demolition derby driver. By the time I turn 30.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had totaled 13 vehicles. Wow. I walked away from all of them without a scratch. By the grace of God, I've been, I've been clean from addiction for four years next month. Congrats. All right. And haven't had an accident since. Keep the laughs coming. We love you guys. Well, that's awesome Austin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What if Austin's like, he goes, uh, how many cars have you owned? He goes, I've owned 14 cars, 13 when I was, you know, uh, getting after it a little bit and then 14. Yeah. It's the one and it's probably the one you want to be totaled the most in your, but you're, but you're living life great. So you're not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but now he's been, now he's good to go. He's, uh, off everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I turned pro. I'm a pro golfer now. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Congrats. Thank you. It's, uh, much easier than you think. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't really know what it was and I, I don't know if I even want to be a pro golfer, but when I was checking in, they were like, cause there's real prize money in this and you can win it. And so if you keep your amateur status, I don't know where the money, I don't like, does it go to charity? I mean, I want it to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm not trying to take the money. I didn't know. I just got asked, do you want pro status or amateur status? And I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, obviously, who would not want to be a pro? You just check the box. You just check the box. Wow. Way to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I asked someone, I was like, can I back out it? Like, I don't know if I'm, like, you know, cause it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could almost like, I don't think it really matters for obviously our level, but like you could be like, oh, you can't play in a local tournament or member guest tournament because I'm not an amateur and I'm considered a pro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could. It could. No pros allowed. No pros allowed. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Master crafter. Master crafter. I manage a tire shop. Aaron crushed that answer about tires having air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would also cause a lot of road damage if they were all rubber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they are working on tires called twills. They don't hold air so they don't go flat. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, as I said, the wheel hasn't, you know, it's been just kind of, I'm sure it's been, I know the run flat was a big deal. I remember that when they came with like the run flat tire, it can't get a flat, like it, if you get a flat, it'll work for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A hundred more miles or something. It doesn't go immediately flat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they're supposed to kind of get you, so if you get one, you're like, it can get you out of the situation. Grant Morgan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way you know someone's speed before radar would be to time how long it takes someone to travel between two points. It's a simple formula to figure out their speed. This technique is still used in some areas where they have airplanes monitoring speed. If you're driving on a highway and notice an X painted on the shoulder of the road,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is what they are using as a reference point. Oh wow. So they're being like, you got there from there to there in 30 seconds and it should take you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that must've been one of those. So if you see, I guess a helicopter just sitting over the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's an X sign right there. Oh yeaah. I would slow it down. For sure. Cause if that's how they're doing it. I mean airplanes, how could you monitor a speed with an airplane? You know, you'd be like, you were moving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, you know what I mean? Like he's, he's like, well you crossed X, you got it too quick. I go, well did you, what angle were you at? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go, this guy's speeding. That seems like a lot of work for a ticket. That's a lot of work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've, uh, what do you do? You have it open to public?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say go robbing that. I mean, they just kind of get up and walk out. Are you seeing it? I seen it too. Yeah. It's so funny. Yeah. Yeah. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a speed limit of eight miles per hour is effectively a ban on anything other than a walker truck. Identifiable? Identifiable. Identifiable. You did say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, you know, they have to be like, ahh. His name's Frank. I mean, you gotta be confident enough that you're like, I know it, I'm in the direction.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if it's like Aaron, you go, I, I don't remember if it's Aaron, but I know it's like, you know, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright. Well that's how. Walked about four miles of a trot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put a number to it. I would teach your horse to, when you canter to make it look like a trot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what you do. They're like, uh, I'm in a gallop. Yeah. Like if a dude's like boom, boom, boom, like really on a horse, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you're like, all right, dude, well this guy's smart. But, you know, a walk, four miles per hour. Is that not fast? For a horse?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Josh Cantrell, the reason cars have the capability to drive faster than the legal speed is so you aren't maxing out the engine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At, for example, 70 miles an hour. It would be like yelling all the time just to be heard. You'd destroy your throat in the same way you'd destroy your engine, pushing it to the limit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get going, people will go fast now. I thought about that on the way here, is like, everybody drives really fast. And you can just be in a situation, I guess maybe it's because of ways, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, cause they have the cop stuff and everybody's, you know, and so, but I mean, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just be going and you're, I've said, I don't know if I've talked about it, but I thought about it with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like that and I thought of that like everybody does go fast. You will be caught up in a group of cars and they're going 90 and it's like 11 AM on a Tuesday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think cars just go faster and you don't feel it. Like an old car, you went 85 miles an hour. It was like, you were like, you were, you were, you were going. And now, I mean, you know, yeah, now I do a hundred and a Toyota Corolla. No big deal. And have no idea that you want a hundred. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I own a Touro car in Hawaii and someone thought it'd be a good idea to use our car to rob a bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unfortunately for him to check the car out, he sent us a photo of his face with his driver's license and address. It made the police officer's job very easy. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nowhere to go, and then, I mean, it's so far away, I mean, really, what, what amount of money could they, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of robberies, like you want to go, what, how much, what are we trying to get? What was best case scenario here? Like I would hope if, if you're going to be a bank robber, you would have the conversation, what's the, what's our best we can do? If something's like $800, you're like, is it worth going to prison for $800?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you have no idea, like, are they marked? Are they, is that thing gonna blow up? You've seen enough movies that you're like, I don't know what's, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have a mask, my mom worked at a bank, they got robbed too. And that was a long time ago, but they're-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's next to you, but that guy doesn't rob the bank and you have another guy rob the bank. And everybody's like, dude, I thought it was going to be you with the ski mask. Little misdirection. And you go, I'm just a guy that looks ski mask. I don't think that's the truth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a, that was a, I would imagine a fun time. If you're a criminal. If you're a bank robber. But criminals in general. Criminals in general. Yeaah. Just was a, was a decent time. Yeaah. And now mask are, you know, it's kind of normal to wear a mask. If someone did wear a mask, you wouldn't like think, why are you wearing a mask? So, it's just a. I might.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overall, if so, if you have a place of business and someone walks in with a mask on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, mom will say it, I, when my father-in-law was a teenager, he drove a car with a broken cigarette lighter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He finally had it fixed but never bothered to tell my future mother-in-law. She decided to play a prank by pretending.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To activate the lighter and jam it into his sister's thigh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Just for fun. It's like a attorney thing or something, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, man, if you're, look, I think I remember someone doing that too, like, uh, they did, uh, a branding thing and it's, if you're young and you're in high school and you're in school, I promise whatever you think is awesome will never be awesome in your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I understand the moment and enjoy the moment of going, I can't believe her and let the other person get the branding. But you should just go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This will never, I will never be happy I have this branding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not even the, like, you don't even have to go, like, how's the infection or anything. You could just go a week later and go, so how's it going dude? Has your life really picked up since that branding situation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I know there's fraternities that do branding, so I'm not, it's not that situation. Like those guys, that's like have a tattoo, they have a reason they're doing this, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if it's just, uh, this was very off the books for the moment. I think it's, isn't it like, like Shaq has a brand or like, I think a lot of black attorneys might do something. Yeah. So like that reason is one thing, but I think in our circles, we're just people being stupid and going, do you want to get branded with a T? Like they just think it's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a cool design, it's not a, you know, something that's like, it's literally, uh, just, you're, it's idiots together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I mean, all this stuff, you will just be like, I don't, why would I, I'm not gonna want that in now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You will have a life that's longer than that moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see you have a stomach tattoo. Yeah. I mean, who knows? Who knows? I could see that. You have a good, you have like a good body for a stomach tattoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's a little, it could be out a little bit now, but it all just still works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got like a good redneck body. Yeah. I mean, I got the, I got a build for it. You got a Myrtle Beach body. Oh yeah. Yeah. A good Myrtle Beach. Like you have a tattoo on his stomach. You're like, no one's really, everybody almost expects you to have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might still have been cool with your look and everything and beliefs now. I think, I think you could have done it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you're a little older now, so it's, and you have kids and stuff, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think a lot of people feel that way. Well, it's like your sound is southern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Want it to go away. It's a draw. No. Alright. Yeah, it's a draw. Yeah, I worry about, I'm always worried about mine going away, but it's, you know, then I say, oh, and feelings and all kinds of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What we did, it was like when I left, it went to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was in New York, it's like I never wanted to lose it either. But then when I first left, it was so southern. And then, uh, then I went up there and now it's like, I think people are kind of can be confused by it. It's southern, but then they can't tell. I mean, other people think it's Australian or something. Like, I don't know. They just don't know what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it is probably a mix of kind of, but then now that I've been home, you just slowly start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're talking to all your old friends and you just end up being a little more. It comes back. It comes back. But, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sean Sessions, I was hot dogging in the rain in my mom's brand new 1990 Chevy Cavalier Z24.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I lost control and slid into head on traffic, getting an elderly, an elderly couple that took the jaws of life to remove them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a funny story. A funny story. They took the jaws of life to remove them and take them away name it. I assume they're all okay. Uh. Well not anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of stuff, yeaah, you need a lot of stuff to work out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I don't remember people talking about that. What do you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that came a little later, like I think I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, maybe it's just also the circles I was in. No one had to cover him. Yeah. You know what? I do remember like when, uh, I went to high school. Whitewashed tires or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like, some of the kids in high school, they, like, they had money, and so they would get like a brand new car, and I think they would talk about rims, or their sound system or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I do. They, y'all, y'all don't. No. Oh, yeah. You're looking, I would get a Wills and Dills and you would look at it and just like, if you need it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Wheels and Deals. It was a great magazine. It was like fun, like if someone was in the cars, they would look at it. You know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, but at wills and deals was the one that I remember the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, before we talk about this, I, uh, I would say, uh, Justin Smith, if you listen to this, uh, he has a comment, he has a show at Zany's, uh, tomorrow night. This comes out Wednesday, right? Thursday. Uh, Nashville, Zany's, uh, 7 PM. Uh, also our, our buddy Dustin Nickerson is there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, great comics, all friends. Dustin, we've shown, he hasn't been on the podcast yet, but he comes on the road with me a lot. Uh, but for Justice Smith's show, I'm gonna, I'm also gonna go on that show. I'm not gonna like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put it on social media or anything, uh, just kinda letting you guys know. Uh, Joey McCullough, who also opens on the road with us, he's gonna pop down and Justin's gonna let us pop on and, uh, do a set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, yeah, the show's at seven, uh, Thursday. I'm gonna work on, I gotta get, I'm going to Australia, so I need to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, need to work on the accent, need to work on just kind of get back in the rhythm of, uh, saying some jokes because I've been off for probably two weeks or feels like forever. Uh, and so, yeah, so this, yeah, this Thursday, July 20th, Nashville Zanies, if you're here,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will be down there, Justice Smith, uh, it's his show. And then, yeah, and then go to Dustin Nickerson's show. Guess who else is on Dustin Nickerson's show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. Yeah. You can knock everybody out. Yeah. You can knock everybody out. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of podcast fans yelled, Hey bear, a lot of, Hey, hello folks at the, at the golf sir. Yeah. Yeah. Like a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's great. You know, you never look these pockets, like we love doing this podcast and it's been in your head. You just think you're like, is this going to anybody?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's nice. Yeah. So it's, yeah, when y'all come up and say stuff, uh, it's always very, very much appreciative. And, uh, yeah, and it means a lot, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To like this weekend was like a lot of people like saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I love the podcast, Hey Bear, all that kind of stuff. And that it's cool. Uh, yeah, I get a lot of hay bears at my shows. Yeah. It's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it gets, appliances can be a dicey subject.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I mean, out of all, there's, I mean, I just said, there's so many people listening to this podcast, and I would think you are the only one. It could be. That thought, like, Maytag, were you going to say Maytag?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was kind of thinking a toaster too, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never heard of a microwave on the fritz. I've never heard of a toaster going, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You move and you don't, you lost the toaster. You buy a house and you get microwaves usually in a house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One's just left over. I know. There's a lot more to it. A toaster is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not much to it. Yea, you're, you're proving my point. I think it's a microwave. Alright, what is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I just don't think I've thought of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An old refrigerator, I think. You've won those old white ones that got the two things. I think those things can run for 75 years. But the new ones are going to break. They break a lot because again, it's just too many parts. With wifi and all that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause they're just, yeah, there's not so much in there that it's gonna, it's gonna work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was I just, I was about to say something. Uh, what are you talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you don't think that's gonna be, that's pretty awesome if you're like, some of them now, you're like, we need milk, and you just press, we need milk tomorrow, and you go, oh, we got a little milk left, you press it, and your milk gets delivered to your house tomorrow. Pretty amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right. They're not, no one's lives are as hard, but they're busy and they're like whatever it is. And you're, so you look at like just the time of going, all right, uh, it's just going to become that. I mean, I'd imagine like, do you think like in our time, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what's the point of a grocery store? It's like all good. I just thought about this week. Is it all going to be factories? So it's just going to be a factory that's just like doing it and just sends it out and then goes with a drill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pro, I mean, yeah, maybe a drone, but it's, uh, yeah, it's going to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nashville has its own factory and just all the food comes to that. I mean, you know, it's not ideal that... Sounds gross. I agree. But, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're gonna do it. I've had, I've started thinking a lot about microwaves too, a lot. Oh yeaah. Cause that's, you're just like, this can't be good. I know. What do you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, it's heating up this food. Like I'll just sit there. A, your head is, you're staring into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The glass like still when you go to the dentist to get your teeth x-ray they stand behind multiple wall and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's the same, I don't, maybe it's not the same thing, but you, my head is looking in the glass of something that is heating something from stone cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To within 40 seconds, 40 seconds, I can't touch it. It's that hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, it's not, there's no like warm up, there's no, like a stove or an oven is you gotta preheat an oven and eventually it gets to 400 degrees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Less than a second, I will appear at 500, whatever degree you want it to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why, I've just thought of it recently. That it's just like, man, that's, that's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that we just have, and look, I know it's the convenience of, I use a microwave and I'm saying I don't, but I just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you start thinking of all this, you know, they say stuff about like having your phone in your pocket and like all this kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just like, yeah, dude, you got a lot of stuff around you. That's just like, what, what is happening?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mic wave is insane. It is insane. That's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I would, I think if they had microwaves and they still were like you, you had a room built for the microwave and you shut the door and you left. Like that would make sense to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you just, but you want, I think stuff needs to take time and microwaves don't take time, which is the point of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything else is like an oven. You're like, alright, yeah, I let it sit there for 30 minutes and now it's 400 degrees. And you're like, okay, I can wrap my head around that. A microwave is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, no, I get it. I get, I get why you love it. And it's, uh, it, but it, it just, uh, I'm just saying you don't think about like, you don't, I just lately I started going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. I've had that happen. And, uh, cause I'll have to ask Laura, like, I should say it in my joke about my, like, I have a microwave joke about not knowing how to use a microwave. And, uh, with, and I used to have it in there. I'm like, does this have metal in it? Like, so if I can microwave? Cause I didn't know. Cause I would microwave, I microwaved a plate once that had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I mean, yeah, I don't, who knows what's going on, but then now you got, now it's all blended together. It's a, so it's a mishmash. Yeah, there's a lot going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, it doesn't, it's not as sorry. What do you think? This is like not based on anything? I think it's not based on anything. I think it's based on someone saying that on the internet and I think no one does it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you have, so you have, you bought a microwave that has extra room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, you can fit a juice glass in your microwave. That's crazy. You can't, there's no way you're gonna fit a juice glass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you're buying, I mean, look, mate, look, maybe you got a real deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't, I think the, the circle goes, cause if you get off the circle, if that gets off a little bit, it's just. Oh yeah. It's a mess. Yeah. It's chaos. A lot of stuff doesn't go right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think maybe I have. But maybe you don't have the room he has. Why would you not, you know, right? That's true. Use the room. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well she's trying to prove, yeaah. But I mean, oh by saying like, this is our bad microwave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I gotta thank my buddy Rich, uh, that with this, uh, he is, it's MedWater. It's a water company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a water thing, they filter water, but they can filter it so much that it's like, uh, it can almost kill you. It's like, too clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need some stuff in water. There's like minerals and there's like, there is stuff that you need in water. You can filter out too much stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? I think I'm, yeah, hold on. I might need a red back. And you also said spiritual animal, animal. I didn't understand that. Spirit animal? Yeah. You said this lady is your spirit animal. What does that mean? Somebody I relate to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He just pulled over and saw a watermelon stand and was like, I'll take a watermelon. Yeaah, I've done that many times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it. But it's solid on it. Why don't you do that? That's good. I would do that. I'm not a big watermelon fan. I love it. You ever do a watermelon eating contest?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This goes along with the, uh, brand getting branded something that probably you look back on. You're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's he doing now? Uh, I think he's a teacher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All that Chick-fil-A, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think we could afford a fundraiser. We just stayed poor. Yeah, we couldn't afford the trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chick flake, I might not have, I don't think it was invented, was it? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I say his family is unbelievable when you're making...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, even, but I mean, how would you even get to a level where they would let you hire? I was a manager.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, is it because, but you didn't hire a Notre Dame person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were hiring like someone that smart that went to college degree. Actually, you weren't hiring a me or dusty that were like, you're like, I was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you can get your sodas to have a little ice in them but not be froze, it's pretty nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't expect the hotels you're at. They expect a lot of people to bring, uh, lettuce. I get a lot of looks. Yeah. When I come in with all my groceries. It's the first vegetable in the hotel room. You think, uh, when you check in a lot of hotels, they go, you go be here for a while. You got a look of just like, like, yeah, like there's a lot of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got a check in date, but they don't expect to hear a check out date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they recommend just zero. Zero. Yeah. And then they say mid thirties. That's what they say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they don't say mid, they give those 33 and 37.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah. Hot off the presses. Don't want to give people the, just fill it out somewhere in the mid thirties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of people are gonna go check. I think there's a lot of young people that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I can tell you from full just life experience that you're just not going to run into that situation. This is not going to be a problem. Maybe if someone's a big chef or there's something, there could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're, if you're a normal person, I don't think it's going to be a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you cook something that you would have it be hot and then you want it to cool off and you put it in the refrigerator?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but your life's, life doesn't work like that. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, you gotta really think if your plans change to where you go, I had this big dinner, but I'll just put it in. It's piping hot. It's a, an emergency. So you're not going to, then you're not really worried about your meatloaf and being at the, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Otherwise, I think it's either emergency that your meatloaf is, you just come home and it's still sitting out, the dog probably ate it, but it was emergency. Or if it's like right outside the emergency, it's like, maybe it's not like immediate family. It's, but it's like, you know, we need to go to the hospital. We gotta be there a couple hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we do, Laura says a lot, just put the light on in the oven and you put stuff in there and that light in there is enough to keep pizza. Like just now, is it true that the tray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But is it like a little, it's the thin door, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think, I don't know if I believe it, like it's wood around it. You know when wood falls in your food?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like most people don't do it, that's all life is now, isn't it? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A video everyday of going, you're not doing this right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I look at them too, and you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't know that. There was, I never heard of that. I didn't go with a ketchup packet like that. Do you know what a ketchup packet is? A bottle of water. That's what I think of in a video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is like you just go through social media and you're just like, what am I doing, dude? Like, and I look, I have probably a year. What on earth is everybody talking about? Absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And the little things go, oh, I never knew that. And it does. I tie my, I'm not saying I'm better than it. I do it. I tie my shoes away because I saw a way to tie your shoes. It goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. And so it's like, and it saw it on video. And it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but you know, it's like that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. I did. I knew that. That one I figured out on my own. Lot of toothpaste. Like a mini toothpaste has it. Yeah, they have that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which means there's no better time to get on Explorer. We have a electric e-bike, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Electric e-bike, they're awesome. They're so fun to ride. Uh, me and Harper went, she's, we're riding the other day and, uh, we rode around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I like it cause you can go be nice and lazy and just press the little thing on it. It's like riding a little motorcycle. You're, you know, it's, it's, it's fun to go do it. It's, it's, I mean, I really am a big fan of them. Plug it in. It's super easy to go ride around. I mean, get around the neighborhood. Like we just pop around the neighborhood pretty easily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they have, uh, quality feature-filled models and finances lowest $73 per month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they have a powerful removable battery, a bright LCD display, and they have, now they have like stuff on the, like the little thing on the back, you can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could like tie stuff down to the back. And if you live in a city, like New York, this is like how you're going to get around. I think like that's, it's going to be the go. And so for us to live in neighborhoods and you still have a lot of cars, it's, it's very fun to go ride around it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's over 250,000 riders on the road so far. Roam freely and reach up to 28 miles per hour with the twist of a throttle. Our next level pedal assist. We just started doing that, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You pedal and it kind of just shoots off, but there you're getting a little, getting a little movement, you know, still working, but you're going, you're pushing. You could get pretty far, pretty quick, which is all, which is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, rediscover your independence this summer with the XP 3.0 from electric.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Visit electricebikes.com to learn more and explore the epic models electric has to offer. That's L-E-C-T-R-I-C-E-Bikes.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever have a house that didn't have a dishwasher?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I mean, or like, I think when we moved to Chicago, I want to say we might've even had an apartment that didn't have a dishwasher. I mean, dishwashers weren't, it was like kind of advertised, like this place has a dishwasher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, I, we did not have a dishwasher growing. It was a big deal, I think, when we got our dishwasher. I forget when we got it, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, it was a really big deal to get a dishwasher. Like it was crazy. Like, it's like borderline deal breaker. Well, you would almost, well now I don't know if they, yeah, most houses, they're going to just come in houses, but you could buy like separate ones. You have to plug off on the side or something or you could, but I mean, yeah, I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, we would, we would, I would have to, uh, god, I think we had a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a dishwasher in the apartment we moved into New York when it was broke for, I mean, the whole time almost. And then finally it's like they went and came and fixed it. But we didn't have a dishwasher in New York for a lot of the years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do too, that'd be the problem with, uh, yeaah, we're not the most environmental, like, you're just trying to solve the problem of going, like, I'll just do all paper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably this, the plate, I'd imagine. I don't even understand how it affects the environment. I don't even know any of this stuff. But I mean, I just can't imagine the water you're using to clean it. It's a lot of water. It is a lot of water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Washing machine too, you should do that. You need to leave it. I've never done that. Or maybe Laura does that. Leave that door open. Yea, that door is open a lot. I don't know why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, I mean, it's just close to 70. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, well, I don't know if the fridge is going to do it. You got, Hey, I don't know if a 70 year old man can do any of this. Like he can't survive a fall in his bathtub. Like, yeah. So you're like the fridge thing. You're like, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you might as well. I'm believing a 70 year old is going to grind it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the hot deserts of whatever to look for something. Yeah. Crystals. Then yeah, I would think a fridge would stop a nuclear thing too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, yeah, again, I'll be go, I'm gonna go down to Justin Smith's show this weekend, uh, or Thursday at Zany's in Nashville, if you're, you know, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2930 Sydney at Enmore Theater, August 1st and 2nd, Melbourne, right? Ben or Ben? Melbourne.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Melbourne, Victoria at Anthonium, Neum Theater, I mean this is like, they use like our American language.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, uh, August 4th, Perth, Western Australia, Astor Theater, August 6th, Brisbane, Brisbane, Brisbane, Queensland at the Fortitude Music Hall and August 9th, Auckland, New Zealand at Bruce Mason Theater. And then, uh, the middle of August I'll be at, uh, Alaska State Fair. So, uh, pumped about that. Uh, so yeah, let's go check, check everybody out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me ask you this when the opener gets off and you ask them, how are they? What do you want to hear? I don't want to hear. I always just say they're great. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're looking for ways to cut, sorry, if you're looking for ways to cut costs, you need rocket money. You could be wasting money and not even realizing it. I've told you a million times, I've subscribed to a hundred different things. I got to get ahold of this. I got to get on a rocket money, which I've done. It's a personal finance app that finds and can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have needed to in the past, but not anymore because I'm on rocket money. It cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All in one place. Over 80% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about. Chances are, you're one of them. Like that Starz app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to watch one show, really taking a shot at stars. Or that free gaming trial you've never actually used. Rocket Money also helps you manage all your finances in one place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And automatically categorizes your expenses. You can track your budget in real time and also get alerted if anything looks off. I get this quite a bit. I get a little notification.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a large, you know, a lot of money, just what happened. Just making sure everything's okay. That's nice to have. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash Nate. That's rocketmoney.com slash Nate. One more time for the people in the back. Rocketmoney.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the team name but a lot of these teams will do, uh, alternate jerseys and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you get into it with a woman at the airport? Did you ever get confrontational with an employee like that? He didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There have been rumors swirling around the internet that Barghetti is battling an illness. Nothing says sick like looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In addition to a stand-up career, Barghetti has a successful acting career. Thank you. He's appeared in several television shows, including stand-ups, Orange is the New Black. I was great in that. Were you in Orange is the New Black?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It appears he is on the mend and continuing to make progress. Fans can take comfort in knowing he's still performing and taking care of himself. I'm still not convinced though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you're not sick. I gotta tell you, this is the dream to lose so much weight. People think you're ill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As your whole workout routine here, he began by taking walks around his neighborhood, gradually increasing the intensity and duration of the workouts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He then moved on to resistance training. I don't know how accurate this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a tall comedian, which is one of the reasons why he's such a hit on stage. He also has an athletic build, which gives them a commanding performance when performing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is all just throwing keywords out there so people click on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all of these, so these things all throughout the article, these are all based on impressions, how they get paid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is some third, usually how this works is there's third party companies that will populate these with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was from your, uh, first pictures from your origin, the new black.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's interesting. I never thought about what the other side of the apartment looked like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he's been there for a while. I think my buddy worked his show and he's convinced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is not actually Bob Dylan performing these shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That it's, it's a guy dressed up as Bob Dylan. Oh really? Yeaah. He, he, he worked it, he was like, he showed up, had a hoodie on, would never interact with anybody, didn't want anyone to see his face, and then on stage he stands back really far, and he doesn't want the camera zoomed in too much on his face. He's convinced it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an imposter. People are just milking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I relayed that to somebody in the industry involved with concerts and I've never looked dumber in it. I go, I heard it's not actually Bob Dylan. The guy's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went, it was the roughest concert I've ever been to. It was, uh, I wish I hadn't have gone. Cause it tainted my memory of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't play a song written before 2010 when I saw him. He was playing the new stuff. Nobody knows it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, we were sitting around waiting for a song that people recognized and he would just refuse to play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was big. It was, it was Marvin Gay. Marvin Gay's estate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Did he or? He, on court apparently, he brought out a guitar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just played through like a bunch of songs in it and won the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people do that because it's just, there's only so many chords that sound good together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just yeaah, all of it. The vibrations. Simulated in an earthquake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's what I, the way I was thinking about it later is that if you, you know, sometimes if you pull a chip out of a bag and it's shaped like something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would all be like, wow, that, uh, if a Texas-shaped chip, you'd be like, there's probably a million chips that look like Illinois, you don't even notice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so think of Iowa as a head. Minnesota is like a little chef's hat, and then this is a guy right here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Louisiana's feet and he's hold Tennessee's a frying pan, Kentucky's a piece of chicken or something on top of the pan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could, a bad faith reading of this, you could interpret it to mean this upcoming Saturday and Sunday. But you're having to, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could, yeaah, that would just be more clear that this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you don't put the S's, is it fine too? I think it works either way. It just depends on how you read it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was never trashin' Cheesecake Factory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All your meals have to come from this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's 308 Cheesecake Factories in the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there are 2100 Panera breads. So look, we work on the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is, it depends on how you want to determine what's the windiest. This is average annual wind speed of the, of the, well it might be, it's a pretty good way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna find one that has Cheyenne as number one and I'll agree with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No less really has Cheyenne on it. Corpus Christi and Lubbock around there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would eat one burrito and half of a hash brown and half of a muffin for breakfast. And then he'd eat the other halves for lunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be the healthiest thing at Cheesecake Factory, I know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. A lot of four and five digit items on there. Let me tell you. Wow. Yeah. Five digits. 11,000 calorie meal would be pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is the supreme law of the land?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is weirded in a way that I understand why you could get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you name the three things the Constitution does?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sets up the government, defines the government, and protects basic rights of America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. All right. What is one right or freedom from the first amendment?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, exactly. You really spin this thing on its head. Yeah. What do you call the first 10 amendments of the constitution?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll take it. What did Susan B. Anthony do? We're jumping around here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was Betsy Ross. Yeah. She actually didn't do anything that specific. Yeah. Yeah. She just fought for women's rights, fought for civil rights. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the golf war, early nineties. I mean, yeah, you barely got that. You could go one or one more too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Yeah, they were in like World War II stuff. What was the main concern of the U.S. during the Cold War? Temperature.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it wasn't a hot war. Because it was cold? Cold war. They weren't actively fighting. Because there wasn't an actual, bullets weren't fired. More like a build up of TGN.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could call a war, you could call it a, you call something cold. I've never heard hot war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the territory? The- Puerto Rico is the one that- Guam is the one to have been there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Alright. Boom. Why does it have 50 stars? 50 states. Yep. There you go. When do we celebrate Independence Day? July 4th. Now, name two national US holidays. This one's a little tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the only other one that already advanced to the elite eight was the hippopotamus over the spider.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, remember the, the Roman Coliseum has all types of terrains in the middle. So there's enough space for a whale to kind of swim around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well, we'll, we'll worry about that next round. Should we go ahead? I mean, I think we agreed. The whale, I don't know how, what the whale's gonna do. I don't know how they even fight each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're jumping over to the other side of the board here. We've got an interesting matchup. I can't remember what type of snake we agreed this was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even think the venom is going to be the problem. It's the strength of the bite alone. I think it just, it just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, there's no video of these two actually fighting it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the more I watch each of them, I gain confidence in each. I mean, the Python strangling the alligator was impressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or the anaconda, sorry. People are excited about this fight. Yeaah, this is like, this is... Look at this thing. Prime time. This is on prime time. You're like not looking at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going Komodo Dragon. Yeah, I just think it's too, it's too powerful. I don't think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting one. I like, uh, I like when it's a flighted animal. Is that what you call it? Flighted? It's called a bird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, as opposed to flightless, we've got a bald eagle, America's symbol versus an anteater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got, I mean, this is an anteater unrelated to this particular matchup, but this is an anteater going toe to toe with a Jaguar. Let's walk away from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it stood its ground and then just goes, I'm getting out of here and I'm not even scared of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so you think it could just pick up the, okay. What's polar bear? You got a polar bear versus a killer whale. And then this happens, right? This must be a matchup. We've actually seen this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a bit of a size difference here we need to be concerned about. A killer whale is 26 feet long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is much bigger than a polar bear, which...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we got to come back. We'll talk about it a little bit. Let's give the eagle the courtesy of at least discussing. It is America's animal. We've got exactly. Let's not be disrespectful here. We've got two here. We've got an emu, which no longer has a gun versus a wolf. I gotta go wolf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we're going wolf too. I'm still upset the cheetah's not in there, but we'll go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now it's going to have to fight the winner of this next fight, which is a moose and an elephant. I'm going elephant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, we're giving this one to the elephant. It's easier, they're getting easier as we move through the bracket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, now we're down, we're down to the, uh, Elite 8 now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's get serious so we can jump back. I don't know which one we want to do first. I say we do the cassowary verse hippopotamus, which I think this will


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm going hippo too, Nate. I'm sorry. I know cassowary was your, your dark one. But let's hear your argument for the cassowary though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next year, Casper. Next year is, uh, uh, uh, we're going Hippo. We're going Hippo, advances to the final four. Over here on the other side, we've got a grizzly bear versus a Komodo dragon. I'm going grizzly bear. I think it fights the same way a Komodo dragon does, and it's just bigger and more powerful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, they have, you think it's four on each part? I thought they had only had three, like a Disney cartoon. They only had three fingers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, either way, it's going to have to take on the winner of this just slugfest, a bald eagle versus


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they talked before this fight. And the grizzly bear goes, look, you're not getting advanced. And the eagle goes, I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we've got our, we've got one more fight to get into the final four. I think this is a quick one too. We've got an elephant versus a severely damaged wolf because it got hit with a switchblade. It's gotta go elephant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now we're down to the four, four juggernauts here. Four blue chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody sent me a video on Instagram last night of an elephant and a rhino fighting and just the size difference was so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taking on a, a damage, a half blind hippo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First time it's really been close, I think. This went 15 rounds for sure, but I think the elephant takes it. But Hippo, Hippo's an early favorite for next year, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I think we agreed it. It's missing two claws. It's missing two claws. On his back foot. So not that damage. Not that damage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's unfortunate they picked maybe the oldest elephant I've ever seen. I mean, this thing, this thing was struggling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just let me and my baby get away. I think maybe it was talking, talking some smack and then the elephant got going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So rhinos weigh between 1300 and 2000 pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Six hundred pounds? Four to six hundred pounds. So it's smaller than a rhino. And what is it, elephant weight? I mean, thousands, yeaah. Multiple tons. Elephant weight is gonna be, I mean, four. Four thousand pounds. Yeaah, four thousand pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The largest ever is 15,400 pounds. It's Asian American elephants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a lot of surprises, a lot of ups and downs, a lot of corruption. I mean, this was like, this is like the world cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice July 7th and eighth. I'm in Bristol, Tennessee at the Blue Ridge comedy club. Come on out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the first time I ever saw you live. So it's, I know you were already doing better than that, but it is funny to see you there and then now see you at this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I've had, I mean, people have said that to me at comedy clubs. They say it's like people that work at clubs will say, it's just so nice to see someone that's just like telling stories and being funny and not like telling us something. Right. Yeah. You know, I feel like so much is people just, I gotta, they're just telling you something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he probably wasn't even expecting that too, right? 9,000 people? Not in a show, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say like certain people's blood have like an allergic reaction to alcohol. And when they drink it like, it just, and that's what happens to me. Like two beers and I'm like, you know, people go, let's go have a couple of beers. And then I'm out the rest of the night. Cause I'm like, oh yeah, two beers gets me ready to go. I think we were the same way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cigars are like that for me too. Like nicotine is really like that. Like I went like, I don't know, almost a year without a cigar. And then I was working with Aaron and we were in that West Nyack and I think I had my first one in like a year and then I had probably five that weekend. I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was like, but I was like, ah, I was like, nah, I knew it'd run out eventually. They're like, do you want to renew? I'm like, nah, I'll just go, I'll just go back out where I belong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there was a TSA agent out there who was like, Hey Dusty. And I thought he had seen some of my tweets or something. I thought I was in trouble, but, uh, ended up being a nice guy. He had been to my comedy in Dallas. TSA agent. So I'm making some, making some friends. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where were you at this week? Uh, ComedyWorks, Denver, downtown. Hot Club. Legendary Club. Five sold out shows, hot shows, a lot of podcast listeners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And saying, Hey, I've been following you and I'm, but I'm still like, I'm like, Oh, this was an upper class, but I still feel weird about the email. And it took so long to email him back. And then I finally did. And then he never responded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought now I wish I had not sent it. Now I'm back. I feel like I'm back in the lower position.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sat there and talked to him for a long time. He told me to get Gas X, but he used whatever the ingredient on Gas X is. So it sounded like he was really recommended something great. And then I couldn't remember it and I asked the front desk, I go, what's that he recommended? She goes, Gas X.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just gave you real problems going on in my life and you recommended gas, as if I'd never tried gas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, what is this? And then I went to a, uh, like a, uh, uh, whatever you call it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, natural doctor kind of thing. People would say that they're like kooks. You know, I went and saw them. They were like, the lady goes, oh yeah, this is it. And then it fixed it. Now I don't have that problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, so they're like, what was it? Well, she said it's like a hiated, hiated hernia is what she says. If you have too many stomach problems, your stomach can actually lift in your chest cavity and cause the, the thing that won't cluck thing that traps in gas that won't close. So there's like a move you can do to where you like push it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I started doing this move all the time. And it, like, fixed the problem. Do you have to keep doing it every day? I haven't done it in a while. Okay. And, uh. What's the move? You know, you lay on your butt and you just kinda, you like really dig in there. You push down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. See, I don't have any weight problems. So I would say no to that, but there's a lot of, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just, it just feels like it goes in there and then just doesn't digest and then I just burp it all out over time. And it's like, I've been on stage before, like before I go up, I go walk around and just burp a bunch and then I get on stage and I feel like just the whole time I'm up there just building up inside of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where i can't wait to get off so i can just burp again. You ever let it out on stage? Only small ones. Off mic? Yea, off mic. Sometimes it's funny on mic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a guy featuring for me one weekend and he goes, he had featured for me a bunch, but he goes, if you die, I'll, I'll be like, well, he was burping cause it was pretty intense. Yeah. Yeah. It gets raw. It gets wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's foods I have to avoid, you know, things that are hard to digest. A lot of breads, real hard to digest. Our bread's not good. In the world out here. Well, in the country. I don't know about the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is some where they'll do the New Testament where it'll be characters. And it'll be different people though. It won't be the one person. They kind of act it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now my dad is, is a character, but he doesn't, whenever I've tried to get him on, on my podcast before, my dad is like, he doesn't really do a whole lot of technology stuff. So when you put a microphone in his face and set him in a room, it changes a bit. He's not, he's like, he doesn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, uh, he's very excited about it. I had a call with Jeff Foxworthy and LeeAnn Morgan, a Zoom, and then when we were about done, my dad was at my house, when we were about done, I text my dad and told him to come into the room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he came in and talked to Jeff Oxrally and Morgan. Very exciting. He loved it. That's awesome. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. I lit a tire on fire one time, early 2000s and in the trailer park. And, uh, I mean, here we go. I used to build fires all the time, right? We had a couple of old tires out there and I just, they always say don't burn a tire, but I didn't really know why. So I wanted to see what the big deal was about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I threw a tire on there and started burning it and it is thick. I mean, I never seen anything like that. The fire department showed up. I mean, I didn't get in trouble, but people were just like, they kind of were just shaking their head like you can't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I've never seen anything like it. I mean, I've built fires all the time and this was wild. We were kind of freaking out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You let them sweep it up. I mean, if you find a dead cricket, just go ahead and get rid of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't actually spray, you know, I sold pesticides. I wasn't a pesticide man. You know, I just sold it to people. I told them what to do with it in their own home. Okay.