[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Y'all go to the- Hey, that's fine. Y'all go to the family calendar and you're like, I'm gonna cold plunge here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that was a standing O, man. That's great to hear. Yeah. That's great to hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has anybody, have you, so you said you can't have sex because of your dink strings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shrinks up, but could you attempt? Do you think maybe if you like tried to get it going?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's sucking all the way in but it's still hard and you can still like create life with it. That's incredible dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's brilliant. Oh, thanks. Well said, Blake. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying, your dick has fully retreated. It's gone. It doesn't want to be out, but it still remains hard. So you can technically still have- Procreate. Sex and procreate with it. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My shoutout is to the, yeah, the human penis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had to get down in the Arctic, in the Arctic area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're talking about the Ice Age. We're talking about fucking during the Ice Age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and loving- loving your kid goes a long way. Dude, right away. Out the gate. Out the gate. Introduce-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know man. I hate to get- I hate to get political. I hate to get polycharged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I hate the way they're taking away our Hooters, man. We need them back. Cause Burbank closed, Hollywood closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've gotten off. Yeah, I think the kids don't like the Hooters no more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah dude, we really miss Hooters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, we, we did celebrity family feud. Oh my god. When does it air? When does it air?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we come from the wharf. We come from the wharf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the Disney, the Disney one. That building's sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, like Jerry Springer could quite possibly be the like exact moment that we started to lean into just the decline of western civilization though. It went absolutely haywire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, I don't know, he just, like, lifted, kinda lifted the rock of these, like, just weird...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to watch the evolution of the show because I do think it started from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, he was sick, but didn't. And he's like, oops, looks like they didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't Donahue kind of, Phil Donahue sort of march down that road? He was a little tamer, but yea, he would do-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but that was the thing, they kinda tiptoed around it, and then Jerry Springer was like, I wonder, all the way full tilt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, we're, we're, we're tiptoe, we haven't mentioned that at the end of every single episode, it was Jerry's thoughts, where he wrapped it up with the lesson of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe you guys are fuckin' bein' ATI, go in their DMs and tell them that they're bitches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All my borders, I'm stickin' my borders on you guys, bro. They're trying to turn down the board, they need to frickin' turn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, dude, I might have tried to rob you for a fun dip too, man. You look like a mark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I call comments in my Instagram, uh, account. I call them compliments. Let's go through and read the compliments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy's compliment says, uh, my Down syndrome brother, uh, is cooler than you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that makes sense actually. We'll even put you in a spare bedroom. We won't give you the couch. How about that? Yeah, I like that. How about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be tight. I've had friends, uh, Scotty Landis tried to camp on my beach for a little bit. He was like, I'll just pitch a tent. Really? And then it was like day one. He was like, that was the worst idea. That was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, they're always covered in their own shit, dude. Really? They're diarrhea boys? Well, what they do, well, not when they first come out of the water, but as soon as they're up there for more than a few minutes on your dock, they shit all over themselves and then roll in it and then ground that down into the crevasses of the dock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't s- you said you're gonna sleep outside, I don't want that for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeaah, I wouldn't- I wouldn't dislike that. They- they, uh- No, that would be a fun thing to wake up to. You have to put spikes on everything? Or else they like, sank half of my dock? I had to like, replace half of it? For the seals?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're going into shock. They're going into shock on your dock. No dude, we saw once when like six of them got on this boat and like ruined the boat. It's, it's never been the same. It has like a gangster lean to it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A classic California sea lion. You've seen a million of them. Yeaah, they're always out there. Uh, uh, uh, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brother? Oh my god. Dude, I'm on fire right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, it was a- it was a canon, I've said it twice now, it was a canon, and I- Dude, go fuckin' see the Howerton movie. I'm not listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went around the bed, like I climbed over these rocks and you could like go around this little side and I jumped off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, essentially, and I jumped off, uh, a rock and just ate shit on this other rock cause it was way slippery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yes, but it was protecting its kids. I figured that was the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have some of the photos I took that day. They're in my... Okay. Evidence. Chloe hung them up as if they're good. They're way not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like. Hey, there's no, there's no time, you know, cause when these things happen, there's no time frame on it. You just don't know. You gotta, you gotta surf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And by the, hey guys, I would say 98% of the time, you're not gonna have beef with these sea lions, okay? But it's just that 1 or 2% that they'll catch you by surprise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're your best friends. Yeah, you can. You know, life's a competition, then you die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this scenario. Yeah, but then you gotta be around a loving wife and family and kids and then it makes you miss your family that much more. It might be helpful. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you kinda want your own space? Cause you don't know, you don't know like tape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you don't know how the fight broke. Maybe it was your beef that started the fight. And then you're like, okay, I know. Hey, I think, you know what? I'm gonna go stay somewhere for a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, yeaah, back in the day, fucking 06, you maniac.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know Durs probably has the best snack. You know? The snack game at Durs's house is probably the strongest, I would say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah dude, the amount of raisins I'm gonna eat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is why we've worked together so well for well over a decade, almost two decades now, uh, is because we each add a certain spice to our comedy gumbo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called, what is it? It's called, uh, Surfer Dude, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He like karate kicked at him. Oh really? I thought he was just like the most awkward dude of all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, he watched, uh, he said he watched the guy got to do it right before he retired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like six months before he retired. He watched what? He said he, he said he's watched every episode of WorkHolics. What? David Letterman? Oh, really? That's what he told me. That's what he told me right as like I was being ushered off. Like I did my like three minutes or whatever and he, he was like, he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, for sure he was lying. You know, there's no way he watched every episode. That's a lot. I mean he's probably seen five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe, maybe. I mean, he is advanced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the way up to the bay area and she's like, all right, you can come home. I'll be like, I'm up here. We'll see you tomorrow. Or like, I've got, I have plans tomorrow. I'm trying pickleball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All's forgiven. All good. Really? So it's just kind of a- Okay, that's an approach. That's- Back to the start again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She wakes up every morning and I convince her to stay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, nah, she's, like, all is forgiven. Or like, I forgive her. Whichever way it goes. And then you just go like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I picked Blake's house. I picked Blake's. Uh, that being said, I wanted the pool at Blake's house and Ders does have a pool and the snack game is better at Ders. It is an extra 20 minutes. So now I'm looking at 40 minutes to get back home. I think you gotta come up to the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. See, that knees can't handle pickleball. Like, I got nice gym. We were over shooting hoops the other day at Atiba's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you, I, I, that video of you, so the other day we all got together for the first time in like a very long time that we all. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Saw each other at the same time, which was so sick. Right. Almost on accident.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, we're just keeping you honest. We're just keeping you honest, bud. And, uh, she was like, you're giddy. She's like, my God, you're like flying high. And I'm like, yeah, the boys were back in town, baby. Yeah, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yea, we don't, I feel like when we see each other now, there's no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we aren't catching up. You're just talking about the thing you're doing. You know, maybe some slight like overarching themes of the catch up, but you're not, you're not going into details.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I forgot we had that for seven years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even cooler, the Shaq man. H-A-Q man? Kay. No. Kay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's who I would like to be. Yes. Perfect! Yeah, if they, if I'm cast in... Yeah, I think that's you. Fantastic Four, I think, I think I would like to be the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a little spark plug. Yeah, you should be Stretch Armstrong or something. I can see you as like a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know that leaves you, Kyle. And so that leaves you as, uh, you could be like the key grip or... I'm Mrs. What's her name? Mrs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's uh, yeaah, I think I did a wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's not allowed to do it in real life, so he gets these urges.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm gonna get the number wrong, but it was like an insane amount of, of brothers and sisters. It was like 11 kids or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a crazy amount, a baker's dozen worth of siblings. And so he...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What lived in like New York state and was like, I need to make money. So he moves to Alaska and is a crab fisherman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, like he was like a kid and he moves there. He's a crab fisherman for a few years, made enough money, moves back to New York, meets a girl, she's a professional ballet dancer, he gets into ballet, gets so good so quick, he becomes a professional ballet dancer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just not Clint Eastwood. Yeah, pretty sick, just not Clint Eastwood. Yeah, not quite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I remember that part, yeaah. That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's this like really charismatic guy, uh, with like a cool beard and he's like kinda young and they become friends and, and his name is Osama Bin Laden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's way, way funnier to just keep, uh, Keep it real. Just go fucking real. To just keep it absolutely as real as you possibly can. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did we just always have the, like, craziest, uh, animal wrangler people? Or are they all- Oh, I- I think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that. Because every time, I feel like any time that we had an animal, it was always like, oh don't worry, you'll be able to do everything. And then they're like, you absolutely can't touch the animal, don't even look at the animal. And you're like, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we weren't saying he was actually gonna kick the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we weren't asking to actually kick a real raccoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's just what's playing in your kitchen. So you always kind of catch it when you're coming into, uh, to snag some sunny D.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys had to deal with, uh, school bullies yet? Are they at that age? Where you're like, a bully's at school or anything like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who are you bullying? Yeah. Yeah, smart. I knew that about you. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no bullying yet. I feel like I was dealing with a lot of bullies at about that age, like 9, 9, 10. I think that was probably my bully age. Yea, you were in a wheelchair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, get away from the guy with the knife. I wouldn't say just try to immediately befriend him if he has a knife on ya, like just run the opposite direction, I would say. Yeah, let it, let it cool down. Cause you know, kids are also, some kids aren't looking for love, they're looking to murder a fellow classmate cause they're psychopaths.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also some are looking to stab their classmates, so, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you're out and about, someone sticks a knife in your belly, and they go, give me $25. Well hold on, I'm at a school. I'm at a school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but you wouldn't call it a bully. You could say someone's bullying you. Like sometimes I feel we pile on each other on the podcast and we are bullying each other. Bully. But that's different than if I were to stick a knife in your belly and say give me something and then you have to hand it over


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thinking that I'm going to stab you if I don't hand it over, that's called... Robbery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's being a fucking bully. That's bullying, cause he's not kidding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's how it's done. That's how it's done. Yes, that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, and then I said, I was being bullied, so I, I go, no, I'm, if anything, I'm the bully. I'm not the kid that gets bullied. That being said, we both were bullying each other. Did you guys ever end up kissing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He also hit me before, uh, except, you know, I just took to the next level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After like getting over the shock of like not being able to breathe for a minute, uh, I was like, yeah, I, I, I earned that. That was fine. That's big of you. And that shows me that you grew from that punch. So that's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you know what happened is I bought it, uh, I bought it right before the super spike, the COVID super spike of, uh, beachfront property. You know, so I, I was able to luck out and, and get, get one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a neighbor of mine pulled up in a super dope car, like a super sick Porsche, and he rolled down the window, I've never talked with this man before, and he just goes, TII NATION! And then fucking squealed away in front of my house. It crashed into a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh. Hey, well let's, let's save it for the next pot, cause I do want to get into, yeah, we gotta save it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Smith, he found some like golden plates that said like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, yeaah, they're, they're a little handsy. They are a little handsy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her clo- and her clothes. Yeaah, it gets weird. It gets really weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe when Adam watches it for the first time, we can, we can double check it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, a lot of people didn't, yeah, but I did hear that a lot of people didn't like that movie. It was a little too creepy. It's with David Bowie. He has kind of like a huge cod piece. It's, it's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Top Gun Maverick, not Maverick with uh, Mel Gibson, correct?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the hell? No, that's not hate, it's excitement. It's like, come on, man. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like a bunch of stuff is- Verver is like, intensity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah. Kyle, why don't you like go city to city and challenge people, like, put like a bunch of money on pickleball games, like play like one thousand dollar games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, which this has to stop by the way. This? That's Birdman hands. Birdman's allowed to do that. Birdman can do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not money. This is- It's more like this. This is the one I like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is! These are fervor hands. These are def-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey! Guys, let's- let's play Family Feud. What's the top five ministers for worst things a doxpert can say while he's staring at your asshole?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, no, that's like, it's really important to find those, right? Because don't those develop into colon cancer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's why you gotta see us live. You gotta see our hand gestures, our funny faces. We're trying to build fervors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I actually think the theater we're, I think the theater we're doing is super sick. Like it's a pretty...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turn it up to 11. Gravitron? Just do the show from a Gravitron?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did for about a year and then we got workaholics


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dirt bags. Dirt bags. I have a tank top. I will be wearing it at the live show. Be ready for that. Which is very cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we gotta switch them up, man. Global warming is changing everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What state is Arizona? This is, I like this game. I like state games. What is the Arizona, what kind of state is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every state is the blank state. Arizona is what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, get your LeBron James jerseys on, on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're sending out some texts and- Were you, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, yeaah. Shout out to... what else is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Minnesota or Minneapolis has a pretty good gay community. Gay scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'm excited for that. I have an aunt that lives in Louisville that I would love to link up with. That'd be cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, hey, so, we'll be in Louisville. And I say, and I say things correctly, Louisville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is not on the tour dates, but stay tuned for the second half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what, uh. Yeah, bro. That's what the comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, get fervorous! Get fervorous in the compliment section! Trying to build fervour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, yeah, we, we know a couple spots out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you can get a lot done in nine hours in Atlanta. Trust me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a combination of that and a little combination of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, even if you're not a drinker, get a soda pop and enjoy the show because it is a blast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's only like, yeaah, it's not like intense or anything. It's just like a vibe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like Cha Cha Lounge meets like a Jumbo's Clown Room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna learn the protocol, we're gonna talk about it on stage I'm sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if I bring in super strong buzz balls across the border, do you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our whole entire podcast has been leading up to this moment. We're leading people towards the Mormon Church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. My uncle was a Latter Day Saint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starbucks! I cannot wait.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get your Joel McHale and Adam Ray on, maybe those are our guests?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want his attention, you gotta talk, you want his attention, you gotta talk about buttholes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How far do you lean forward when you poop? When you poop, are you like back, back to the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is man, the human, big up to the human body. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if honestly, if we could, if we can talk about it, I watch a lot of Family Feud. That was an excellent episode. You guys were neck and neck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, I'm not a part of it, I have no stakes in the game, I would just love to say that that was an excellent episode of Family Feud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I love it! Yep. Perfect! Do you think I could do a whole episode where I don't talk? Yes. And I just use the board?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, my boy Szechuan Market, I will speak on this a little bit. Speak on it. So yeaah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you for bearing with me, guys. That was, that was very powerful for me. Thank you so much. Uhm, yeaah, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I was digging in the catacombs and I stumbled across a lot of like, I used to collect, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Marvel all over print t-shirts, and I had a little case of them in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I was looking at the shirts and I wasn't gonna give them away, but I noticed like a lot of the white t-shirts, the rings of the collar were like super like brown. So I kinda like text them pictures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess like the dead cells and stuff, yeah, and also I wear make- I wear makeup, so like the foundation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Correct, I, they were like eBay purchases and stuff like that, but. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I brought, I like, I like sent him the pictures of the dusty collars and he's like, oh yeaah, I could fix those, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's a Zelle situation, I don't know if you guys are familiar with Zelle, Zelle, Zelle money traps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, a good handful of the ones that were worth the most, I purchased around 2012 for about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A decade ago? 50 bucks. 50 bucks a shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay? Okay, you're going with 500. You guys are all going with 500.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That affected the price though. This is uh, on the market, it didn't affect the price that it is mine. Even though one of these shirts I did wear to Ant-Man 1 Premiere, you can google it and see me in the Venom shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The shirts had an estimated range starting in this where I'm never gonna throw out anything ever again. They went from $1,000 a shirt to $5,000 a shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't know if I'm supposed to disclose that stuff as like a dealer to dealer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's someone who I don't know them, but their name definitely rings a bell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we, no, we collabed, we, you know, he's, he's the homie, I've like worked with him before, so he's, he's like, this is his life, this is his gang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Andrew Santino did a collab with him. I did a collab with him. You're talking about Szechuan Market. Yeah. Oh, sorry. You're saying the person I sold it to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's someone, it's not actually a famous person, it's someone who works very closely with a famous person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, is it? It is Bentley Fonsworth. Yes, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I feel like, cause so then I had this whole night where I was, where I was at where I was like doing-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, potentially I can make a lot of money because I have a lot of the shirts. I have like 15 of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy. Oh my god, Becky. But I, I also think that the market is kinda like crest, like vintage is so crazy right now. I didn't realize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is growing because so, for instance, I bought those shirts, I bought those shirts for 50 bucks because like nobody was really searching like Marvel all over print on eBay. Now, if you look that up, you're not gonna find really anything under, yea, 500 is like low, like 300 is a low shirt, 1000 is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, basically the science of it, the science of it right now is that, uh, hold on, let me hit the board. It's science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like pro wrestling was hot for a minute, but I guess it's kinda down right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, AEW is like kind of like the challenging federation to WWE right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At all, right? Not at all. Completely separate federation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a rumor, I don't think it actually happened because remember Vince McMahon got in trouble for like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like having sex with employees and like giving them hush money. So he like stepped down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing, he still can. That's the thing about pro wrestling, you never know what's real or what's kayfabe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the best. Are you ca- Kayfabe? What? What? Kayfabe, it's, I think that- Kayfabe. Yeah, it's like the, the blurred lines of like reality. You guys are hitting some fucking- So, as far as he's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I've heard it talked about in other ways, but wrestling is its main, is when you hear it the most, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when you don't let down the character even when you're in, like, real life. You never show reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like kayfaded. I'm kayfade. I drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get drunk because of the character of Blake Henderson or the character of Blake Anderson that I've created.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then he like also said like racist stuff, so he was claiming that was Hulkamania?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, 12 million to four women? I'd watch that movie. I'd watch that movie. That's cash. That's- It'll be green wit. That's a lot of Marvel shirts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rolls about to get juicy for Adam. That's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. So I started to fall down this rabbit hole now of like searching out like, like who are these collectors and that's exactly what it is. It's more, cause I used to wear these. You guys remember I used to wear these?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, he looks great. He's gonna look really hot. He looks great. He's gonna look really hot, didn't he?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was big for me, cause I definitely cornered him, I was like, my buddy Durs frickin loves you dude, you're not rap again. He's like, I'm not going back to that. I could tell he did not want to talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I gotta go get- I have to get a charger for my laptop, it's going to die. Oh, can I run away really quick?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, Diplo was there. You guys have the same body too, I would say. You think so? He's pretty tall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all my friends were there for some reason. It was cool. Diplo was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are correct in one thing Durs, I think that the music market for vintage, like music is something that never like dips or it's just pretty constantly a high price. Right, yes. Well music is just kind of, it's not even nostalgic in a way because it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, you wanna know a, you wanna know an interesting thing about vintage, uh, t-shirts? No. This'll be the last thing. Uh, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something that is like really, really sought after now is not like the uh, sought after, right? Is that the correct way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet saw- honestly, I bet a saw t-shirt would go for a ton of money. I bet horror-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who is the richest, the richest Juggalo fan? That would be a fucking interesting...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's off the chain. That guy, I mean to be an energy drinker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are, I like this. You're becoming a really good, yeaah, you're like a good interviewer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of official merch, the things that are going and selling for a lot are vintage bootlegs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, you know, you come out of like, Staples Center, they got the Kobe shirts that are like, non-licensed, or you like, go to a concert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you guys were leaning in. That was a hot shirt. So that might go for a lot of money now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, the thing Kyle was referencing, RIP Jetset, the fucking legend, one of the sickest things, there's 8 million sick things about, well I don't know if sick's a word, but like cool things about Jetset, is that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At every rap party, every season, Jet Set would show up with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rap party workaholics bootlegs. So there's like a season one workaholics rap party and it would be a picture of him with us from the last season's rap party, just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they are, they are. Well, we gotta dust, we gotta dust them off. Yea, they might need to go on market. I hit up my boy Sejuani.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, I got the, what's the like, spinach paneer? It's like, uh, kinda like a cream spinach with the paneer cheese. Very good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it depends. Some of it has a lot of very heavy cream in it. Like, very heavy cream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say that I, I, I popped the new, the new flavor, Adventure Falls, for anybody who else is, uh, curious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kyle, it's the name of the cookie, like Samoa. It's the flavor of life, Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Samoa is the cookie Ders is holding up. Arguably the best Girl Scout cookie in my opinion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what the fuck that is. It's indulgent brownie inspired cookies with caramel flavored cream and a hint of sea salt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chug a gallon of milk, and like, some dudes are like, I could do that, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's truly something in the human body that when you reach a certain amount of milk, your body rejects it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Badlands Booker. That's fuckin' cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it was that movie I sent you guys. What was it called?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't splice. No, it's like- Splice?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, slithers or something? I don't know, I have to look it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's from that. I have never seen it, but it looks fucking cool as hell, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Elizabeth Banks is in it, I didn't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I shouldn't eat on the pot, I was about to eat it in ventriful, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has like, what, they have like six flavors, seven flavors, so if they're gonna add a flavor to the lineup, you know this shit has been tested, brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're saying we want, we want a Girl Scout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I'm, I'm saying cause I like the color brown, I think it'd be cool if we were wearing like brown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're drinking a pumpkin latte. You might drink pumpkin spice lattes. Get her done!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I wanna go, I can't believe I've never been. Hey, by the way, I'd go, that'd be fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, uhm, in honor of, uh, Mardi Gras coming up, or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mart-Marty Graw's been passed, but we are, uh, gearing up, so I'm gonna do a good ol' buzzer beater for the boys! Come on now!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] None other than Sour Apple Chiller.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think it's supposed to be cold, but I will be enjoying warmth. So, so thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I started to get the vibe. If you're talking about like American apparel, I started to get the vibe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, Kyle, you didn't have the vibe. You literally wore corduroy women's pants from the Salvation Army. The same pair every day, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've watered down the vibe. Yeah, it was a Satch, Satch Vi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I think it was dealing with some, uh, mental issues, some health issues. Yeah, that's a bummer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'ma be, I'ma get ahead of it. I just shit my pants and cheated on my wife. It's all G brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was literally no way of telling what was cool at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember the first time I ever saw a Vice magazine and it blew my fucking mind. Like the fashion I saw in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were like, well, if you got past the dicks and looked at what shirt he was wearing, it was pretty cool. No, that's, that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So legit. That was like before Zoomies and all that when you would actually get like the skateboarding catalogs and they had, yeah, just like flip through like jeans and shit. It was so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were all, uh, famous stars and strapped up. Yeah. I'm just wearing like Dickie's Dickie's shorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like Chiliz kinda started to lean uhm, bro. Ders, you're, Ders, you're lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, uh, my chemical romance probably was more like, yeah, like, uh, hot topic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Famous stars and straps, what do you mean? That's what I was talking about. Jesus. Yeah, that's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had one zero, I had one zero shirt. Zero skateboard, made cool graphics. What are you talking about? You saw me and you thought I was dressing aggressively skateboarder on Durs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you saying the only jeans I could wear were Kirkland jeans? Because that's like non-affiliated with any sort of subculture? Like, what is a neutral gene? What are you talking about? That's the best subculture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy to me. They didn't have the, they were late to the skinny jean party though and I was on that dude. Come on. Like. Yea Blake, Blake always had the skinniest jeans. You were definitely on that. I'm a jerk, I know. You're a jerk, I know. New boys, come on dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, man. You know, and then what, what kind of jeans sounds like he dressed kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, AG jeans? You dressed kinda Christian, but you're not about it, so maybe you're the poser, brother. Unless you could quote a verse in the Bible with those khakis on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to, what are you talking about? I tried to skateboard and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to. I'm not good at skateboarding. I was nothing. The two things I've ever wanted to be in my life is either a professional basketball player or a pro skater. I think those would be the coolest lots in life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I broke my back, dude. I used to be really good and then I broke my back and it derailed that dream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like you, you've said, I'm definitely not 6'1". I'm definitely not 6'1".


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kinda cool, short basketball. That's a really good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you need to lower the rim. That's true. That's an exceptional talent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, the guy's a giant. He's humongous. The freak!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I'm going to be a slam-ball all-star, Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get in the water. It's like, what's the deal? What's up? Talk to me about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's trampoline basketball and you can like tackle and stuff. It's fuckin' cool, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say the only time my back kind of hurts is when I'm on a trampoline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you can pull this off. What if I start wearing Joker makeup?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't need your help, alright? That's what I'm telling you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, you're not crying though, you're like blubbering, like, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we saying he's gonna be, what is it, time sexiest man of the year, or who does, who does the sexiest man of the year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm sure. Vice, The Source, Us Magazine, People Magazine. CC, CCS. Highlights Magazine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lionel, yea dude, it's so cool seeing him come up. Holler at your boys? Yea, Lionel's the man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Him and Taco Travis on, on Dave, he kills it too. All those, all those young, odd future cats getting in TV and just slaying it, dude. I love it. Yeah, that's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mostly want, yeah, let's get into it. Dude, you went to the, the Fajard land.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What is Norway's deal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, what's up with Europe coming hell a week to food game? That's like- Yeah, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was unreal. It was, it was amazing. No, come on. No, I went to Como. Dude, the food in Italy is, it's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what's, so wait, what's the verdict on Norway? Is it passed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you're also throwing up and Emma's throwing up, so that can't make it better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go buddy. That's so tight. Good job. Did you guys do any like cool like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about like uhm, cause when I think of Norway, I think of like Norwegian like black metal and stuff. Did you guys do any, anything along those lines? Like, perch burning or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then my po- my poser ass was like, yeah dude, that's what it's all about. Fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Definitely read about it in Vice. That is where I got interviewed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they said they like burn churches and shit, it sounded kinda crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not strapped. I know I said I was strapped. I'm not strapped. I'ma come clean, y'all. I'm not strapped. I don't own any straps. I'm a really nice guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm doing my best out here. Shout out CCS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my fucking god, I love those pellets dude, with some root beer. I'll show you pictures of naked women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wake up bro. It's very loud, but it is hitting hard right now. It's aggressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, how are we? He just seems checked out. Is Star Studded checked out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. I'm gonna come back. I don't wanna, I don't wanna hear him. I don't wanna hear him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we had no idea, and that shit went wrong for that one person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's a, it's a legal, it's a penal code. It's a penal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a penal code. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a reference to a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you have to do a penal because it's a penalty, right? It's a penalty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just need to get out. We just, we need to go on trips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dutch is tight, and Holland days, Holland days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a fantastic shot. It's like a close up of like, uh, wiggling it up. He's like, check this out. It was like, huh? Huh? Huh? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so the problem is logic, that the kid would be like, fuck your card, I got hardcore porno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would say they're just afraid to act on their horniness because they're on their phones all fucking day. Wow, this one's. Yeah. So they don't know how to, how to interact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You say, handle this. You say, hey crowd, handle this. Why, and why is it called, why- Docs, yea why docs? Why docs? That's a great question. Let's talk to Webster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It originates from a spelling alteration of the abbreviation docs, or documents, and refers to compiling and releasing a dossier of personal information on someone, essentially.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Popcorn Adam. Popcorn Adam? What does that mean? Did you guys ever do that? I don't get- You never did that? I don't- I have no idea what- I don't know what you're talking about. I'm like- Oh, really? I'm like, will he just stop talking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you read a paragraph and then you say, okay, I'm done with my paragraph. So the way that you call somebody else as you say popcorn Blake and then Blake gets to read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was, yeaah. I think it was part of the curriculum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like they're not, they're not thinking back hard enough though. I feel like this is universal and they just missed it or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. So I wouldn't even do it. What are you doing? You're lying to the SWAT team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? But what you're saying, you're acting like a SWAT team is like Uber Eats. Like, what the fuck? I'm not, I've never done it. I'm not acting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the come down is live streamed, the afterwards is like, wait, who called us and pranked us? I'm learning something new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. So the aftermath, when they're doing the math, and they're like, who called us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, in March 2019, a California man was sentenced to 20 years in prison for carrying out a fatal 2017 swatting. This is sad. Popcorn Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please stop at a Karma. You're not supposed to stop at a Karma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. It says full cost and ten thousand dollar fines on top of the full cost. So you have to pay for the resources and you get fined.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well who does, you know who gets this kind of fine and has to pay this all the time is fucking Steve-O because he goes out and does those pranks and then he knows and he calculates the cost that it's going to be to get the firetruck


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, probably double or triple is my educated guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, oh yeaah. Well I think you're getting the billboard stunt plus the SWAT team. You're getting everything. Who cares? Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, MacGruber is a good one. MacGruber is really really fucking good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what? What are you talking about? Is that, oh, a homing pigeon? Like you put a note on him? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you sure about that? They're not going to the mall? Are we sure about that? Uh, yeah. We're sure they're not going to the mall? The malls are still around though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is so fucking cool, I had no idea that you had, that you shoot in a refurbished mall. That's, hey guys, that's creepy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 8 degrees, 8 cents, baby. 8 cents. I love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's probably why they were doing popcorn, cause it was just like a better, more fun environment out here on the west coast, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, have you never gone to the Grove when they put, when they shoot the snow? I feel like that was the thing that we used to do. Was that just me and you, Adam? That was us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he's been... No, they don't like Tom Hanks. Why? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blake, points yourself, points, well, give yourself. So it's not Stanley. Uh, give yourself points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chester Hanks, I'm gonna look that up and see what comes up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Blake, I'm so sorry, dude. Wait, oh, so this is like problematic for you? The, you know, Kane's traffic is problematic for my guy Blake? What's up, dude? Talk to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you park somewhere else and then walk, and then walk to it? So you, you've got, so you've been to the canes, so you're saying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's actually a problem. That actually makes me upset when there's no ice in the machine. That actually makes me fucking pissed off, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and if you put root beer in it, the root beer tastes hella good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, dope. Oh. Yeah, when? Like when? How long ago? He's doing the math. Like this year?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, an algorithm is just a math problem. I guess, I guess not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, my computer was about to fucking die, so I had to go get a charger. It was very interesting, I had to go get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, but that's just a storytelling technique. That's just fun. Yeah, that's just fun. You're like, why would you wait? But dad, these, this isn't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mash that bell, get yourself a notify when we put new stuff up, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, step away from the mic. Yeah, and people hate you, Kyle, and people hate you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm upset about people eating on my- like who gives- nothing bothers me, nothing bothers me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was acting and I knew that years and years ahead, that would be a really cool moment. That would be a really cool moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't suggest you do, people really dislike it. They really dislike it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like what is it that people dislike about hearing someone masticate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm blacking out, dude. I can't even hear you guys at this point. What the fuck are you talking about? You guys have all touched your own shit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, she was cool. She was a style icon. I would argue to say she's a style icon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, she's, she was anti-style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No dude, I'm, I'm all in because how often do you discuss the wardrobe of a character on a television show but everybody talks about her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's, that's your opinion, but- Sue, sorry about it. Sorry about it, dawg. It's not like she was wearing-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got em. She wasn't... She was wearing... She was wearing...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Legit, like, clothing articles. They were just pieced together in a bizarre way where everybody was like, wait, what the fuck is this person wearing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we, can, yeaah, can we get a look behind the curtain? Have you ever seen your mom, like, be like, ehh. Thank you grandma! Like, I'm, uh, like, fuck, fuck em. Fuck people. I don't, I'm not, I'm not feeling em. Have she ever let down the curtain of being nice? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you've never seen your mom, like, be like, I'm over, I'm over people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm over them. No, not really. Really? That's cool. Your mom rocks. I love your mom. Penny rocks. Shout out to Penny. Not really. I mean, I'm sure there's been a time, but that's not like- Yeah, she just never gives in. Cause my mom would hit a point, and my mom's pretty sweet, but she would hit a point, like, she had a daycare where she would be like, yo, fuck these kids, bro. Oh, interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about driving? What about driving? Somebody cut her off? Is she ever like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we post, uhm, pictures of, of your mom, like, in college on our Instagram? Cause I don't think I've seen Penny in college. Well, she didn't go to college. Okay, college years, college years, college years. Fair enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During, during that era, I bet she was cool as fuckin'...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bigassforeheadclub.com Yea, big, bigassforeheadclub.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Malkovich, great answer, great answer. Bruce Willis? Uh, hey guys, it's The Rock. It's The Rock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every, wait, wait a minute. Hold on, every actor who's bald fucking rocks. Maybe going bald is the way to go. Wait, but does, well who? Michael Keaton, John Malkovich, Samuel L. Jackson. Why can't I?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian Husky for everybody listening, you would know him as the best test in the west, Robbie. From the very first episode of... First episode of Workaholics, great actor. Work, a small dicks. Great guy. We fucking love him and I miss him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm, I'm getting, I'm getting wrapped up into a porno. Oh, that's right. Where I'm just humping different furniture, uh, for work that afternoon. Yeah, that was so good. Mom's ham sandwiches. Yeah, ham sandwiches. That's a really good episode. And then, and Ders is getting his ass eaten by a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No you don't. Yes I do, I'm Irish, I gotta see it. Is it Irish? Yeah. Hey, crawl-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're on like day 76 of taking a buzz ball to get a role on the movie. Alright, turn it back up. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, were you listening to this? Yeah, you shouldn't be listening. Dude, the movie's not happening, you- That was for him. Oh, sorry, I'll turn it back down. I'll turn it back down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't hear anything, but I'll tell you what, I've got our- I know, I asked if you said that. I've got our second guest lined up and he's gonna be good, dude. He's gonna be good. I don't doubt that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 76 days in a row. He's pretty deep. If not 72, he's taking a buzz ball a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's how good them buzz balls are. Yeah, maybe the buzz ball gotcha. Maybe the buzz ball gotcha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can move laterally, right? Is that right? So you have a meniscus in your cock? No, in my hip, homie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what happens if you drink white blood cells?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if we took a shot of it? Like it was like Jaeger and Adam's white blood cells.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is literal like blood sausage, right? Am I, am I tri-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Filled with blood that is cooked and dried and mixed with a filler until it is thick enough to solidify when cooled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gross. It's, it's literal blood sausage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I- for some reason people- Oh, is it Nick DiAgosto?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How come people are trying to tear down, tear down Arby's? I don't like that people are trying to tear down Arby's. Cause I've heard this little like pink, pink goo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys remember, I think that Bob Odenkirk was in this, uhm, commercial where, it might have been for Miller Lite, where he's like, it's a, it's a Trav Shama mockery or whatever. He's like running for president or something. Chris McQuantica?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Woah, save that. Yeah, we're gonna get that at the end. No, you don't remember the Trab Shama Mock- Trab Shama Lockery. Nobody- I'm probably not saying that right.


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[Assistant] Ders, can you join in the mic real quick, please? What are you eating? Yeah, if you could just get into the microphone and keep chewing. What is that? Uhm, some pepperchini chips. Pepperchini chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they can change a freaking sandwich. Peppercinis are dope, dude. They're like, are they banana peppers? Wait. No, very different. Very different.


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[Assistant] Extremely different. No they're not. No they're not. Are you sure? I'm positive. I'll die on this cross, Jesus Christ. Uh, no, they're the same. They're the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Banana peppers are thick, they're yellow, pepperoncini's are thin, they're green.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got a little something, a little kick. That was the end of the bag, so there was a little bit of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You took the crumb shot? You took the crumb shot? The crumb shot. Yeaah, Durst took the crumb shot.


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[Assistant] Is he the voice? Is he the voice? The guy's, the guy's a stud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, these raisins, these- Yeah, who eats raisins? Fuck. Nobody eats raisins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm saying straight up box of California raisins, raisin, or milk. We have and we put them in our kids lunch. What's it called? Milkmaid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like how, how big is your box of raisin at home? That shit's a snack. You wanna see it? How big is your box of raisins? That shit's important. He's gonna go give a box of raisins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, go get us. If this bro brings out a 40 ounce of raisins, I'm gonna be so hyped.


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[Assistant] You really are about your raisin game. That is crazy. That is crazy. I'm hyped.


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[Assistant] You know what's really legendary about that is in Rookie of the Year, he goes on set with Ray Charles and does that song with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're saying that milk was down so bad that they did got milk in like everything. It was in comic books. It was like they were like really charging commercials. Like milk was down that bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I am. Is milk some like USA shit? Like does, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if- Dude, yes, it's such a USA shit thing. No, really, like, were people drinking milk at the table?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anywhere else in, in, in the earth. Uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys ever drank Yoohoo? Cause that shit is disgusting. Dude, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Yoohoo, it's not even milk, it's disgusting, it tastes like shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you were doing dry, if you were doing, doing like, uh, dry dust, like the powder, that's weird. That was weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's honest or whatever. What does that want? Like, it's honest. I was gonna say, you feed your kids like healthy stuff. Like half sugar. Like half sugar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmm, I'm unaware. This is Costco.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I thought it was better. You're claiming it's worse? It's not good for you. It's not healthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're saying if lunch is free it's bad? You're saying they're not even trying with it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, food's gotten better, man. Shout out to food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where I'm from, we had cheese zombies, dude. We had cheese zombies. Oh zombies. And I'll just say shout out to conquerors, shout out to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I had freeze-dried, uh, Starburst. Not as good as Skittles. They're a little harder. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gittles, which are off the chain. Freeze-dried Starburst. They're kind of a little too hard. But I, since, have been on YouTube and looked at every freeze-dried candy. They do Jolly Ranchers, they do Pchios, they do, dude, it looks delicious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. You gotta play with Atiba and Akko. They're in the field. You gotta do it. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so I see, you're trying to lead into like the epic adventure we had in New Orleans by, by segwaying through our shit. We're coming through the poop system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a roofie, ohhhh. Yup, mhm. It was a roofie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, no, I've shi- Yeah, I'm shitting well. No, it's actually okay, Adam, if you want the true honest answer. And thanks for asking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want the true honest answer about my poops? Always. I'm listening. It kind of hit me last night where like it really, like I started to unfreeze up. Oh wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stuff in my system, some shrooms, I was doing some shrooming, like I think it's just like my body like held on to it. And I just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, just didn't want to let go of nolens, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then five minutes ago you wrote the script to talk about diarrhea and now here we are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, good. Yeah, they were, they were, and they, they, what, they said, say hi to Kyle and Dyrs, and we said, Nope. Hear it, nah, nah, not happening. Hell nah, nah, dawg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's going to my head. Kyle, you can start your own parade. You really can. Harry Connick Jr. did it. And his is- Yeah, he's doing pretty well at it. So you can start a crew, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh Kyle, there's so many parades, brother. There's so many parades.


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[Assistant] No, I don't wanna start with the poop part, but we'll get there. We'll get there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit happens. New Orleans. But the whole thing is kinda scary. Even walking on, like, it feels very like lawless. It is an interesting


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, no, no. I say this in the best way possible. It feels very like, oh my gosh, anything could happen. Even like, good stuff, bad stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't go down, uh, Frenchman Street. Dude, that's the thing. I had no idea where I was at any time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything you think is about to be like normal. Oh, like there's a black tie event with dresses and all that. Then they're like, is BYOB. And you're like, what the fuck? It just took.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Brian Wilson was not there. That sucks. No, not Brian Wilson. I don't think so. Uh, Mick Fleetwood, uhm. Mike, Mike, is it Mike Love?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good. I like that too. Dude, I couldn't help myself. I was with Zach. I wish I was pizza. We're like California boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I only hear Californian girls, I've never heard the actual lyrics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the end of that night I was starting to feel like a little sick. I was starting to feel sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like carry me out of here. We caught him. He did a trust fall. We all caught him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was at a World War II museum and I shotgunned beers and they're like, this is a museum, you gotta stop! And I was like, yeaah dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, they're all just one big night, really, but uh, there was a night that me and Mikey Lovano snuck out to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mom's ball, which was a really trippy thing that Kyle I think he would have liked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Kyle. So it was like, it was like costume mandatory and me and Mikey rolled up with just like some hats. Like, oh yeah, this'll count.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take your shirts off. So, me and Mikey, we're like, we don't have tickets, we don't have- She's like, whip your dicks out. Right. We would have. Put them in each other's butts. We would have. We didn't have any tickets, we didn't have anything to speak for, so. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They threw me in lingerie and like put a tail on my ass. Thanks man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, don't worry, there's more where that came from. But it was like basically like a warehouse party with three stages, there were like these crazy jam bands going in too, and then in the third warehouse was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like there's saxophones in every band and shit, but it was fucked.


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[Assistant] That's what, so, the reason I even knew about Mom's Ball is like, I got a few DMs that are like, dude, you need to pull up to Mom's Ball cause it's like, fucking, gets weird and I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so there's a, like, this fourth part of the room that supposedly is, like, sex show shit, but when me and Mikey got in line, it, for some reason it closed down. They came over and they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I had to see it all, man. I had to see it. And they w- and they didn't give a- Well, you did. You did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, so you didn't get to, you didn't get to go in? Kyle, I, we didn't get to go in. Some like old lady came out and she's like, show's over, not, it's not happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, I like talk to people who went in and they're like, there's like these drills with dildos that it like, it sounded like it got weird in there, dude. I don't know. Like part of me is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We beer-bonged water the whole time.


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[Assistant] I mean, I have my shirt off a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, nah, nah. I gotta lose a few. I gotta lose a few. Alright, fair enough. I got the, uh, New Orleans 15 on me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea? Ders, all we did was fucking eat, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually the most refreshing thing you eat of all the New Orleans foods, is like a po'boy. Cause it's- Cause you're like, it's solid, it's at least- Yeah. Yeah, it's like a deli sandwich has lettuce on it. You're like, okay, cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, not it. Yeah, it's animal on animal. It's, it's, it's nature shit. Other animals. It's other animals. It's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, before people go there, it is, some stuff is really hard to watch, cause there are things where like, animals are fucking crazy bro. So like, they'll have half their fucking body eaten and just kinda be walking like nothing's wrong. And you're just like, oh my god, what happened? What attacked this animal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta find that track. Yeah, which one do you think it is, man?


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[Assistant] But it's different. Surviving 20 years of Hollywood and surviving 20 Mardi Gras, you got stripes, dude. Like, that's incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, if you could read it like a poem, it would be really cool. That would be really, really cool. Alright, well...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it's, it's, it's- Probably Brian Wilson took it off the, off the rails and they're like, that's not what this song is about, dude. What are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish I had a machine to put girls in and turn them into California people. It's like, what the fuck is this bro talking about? What? Uh, huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Showed us the, the ropes. The ex, ex-king.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Wait, hold on. Hold on, different version. Now this is New Orleans music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, eh, everybody, everybody kinda turn it down. Yeah, yeah, you, I feel like this is you. Alright, yeah, yeah, we'll turn it down, we'll turn it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nar Nar Biggs. Yes. And your fronts are gonna be all shiny and bright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would have been booking something. Yea, but you weren't an actor when you were a young boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just have too much things in your mouth, or you're always talking like this. Hands down, favorite podcaster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I know, I know Blake, Blake is always, you, you get your teeth whitened, right Blake? No. Yeah you do. No I don't. You get your pubes bleached and your teeth bleached. You get your teeth whitened, don't lie to the fans. No I don't. You have before. Ooh, this is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he's like, no, there's been advancements, as Jersey said.


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[Assistant] And it was fuckin' great, and then, uh, the next morning, I woke up and had five cups of coffee. It's science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kids that are born after 9-11 are drinking, are drinking right now. Okay. That is crazy. Dude. Thank you. And we're back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Into talkies. The talkies. I love that, I love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's uh, it's super cool, but it's so long. I pissed three times. I think just watching movies now at home has like gotten my bladder to the point that I'm like used to just every hour or so going to the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. Yeah, that's not gonna be yours. Yeah, they'll find something else. They'll find something else. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you get towed back, you have to call a towboat, and it sucks. Why don't you get a tugboat boat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I was thinking, uh, on my drive down to Orange County today,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a disability. These are just the troublemakers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the homecoming court decided where they go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was like an old, it was like a, it was like when it was just farm country. So it's like essentially just like a few- No, I know, but you said brick. And I'm just, for con-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you've, you've looked into it, so you would know the, you would know this answer, Blake. So what is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet it would scare me, like this, there's like a giant walking, walking talking pig. I bet that would terrify me when I was a little kid. Like, just this- It doesn't cut together well. This pig who, and not cute looking, like really scary, like looks like a fucking pig.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess Lisa Kudrow is gonna be the lead of Time Bandits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True. So you think it should have been shorter? Yes, I do. But I also- Did you see Wakanda Forever? It was a late night, so I was like out of the theater by 1am, so it was like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who, like, I like old Hollywood, but do people really like old Hollywood? But you saw like the notes from the studios, they're like, okay, well this is like niche, we don't know if this is like broad enough, but... Did you see, did you see Mank? Did you see the movie Mank that's kind of in the same period? I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, curious. But, uh, but they were like, you saw the studio execs were like, well we'll make Margot Robbie


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he plays, uh, Coppola, yea, and he's in Fantastic Beasts, uh, what is his name? He played Coppola in-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is about the Making of the Godfather. That's Francis Ford Coppola's play. Making of the Godfather on Paramount+.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Chloe is going to a screening of it. Uh, she just finished, I think. She saw it before me. Is she texting? In LA. In LA. She, uh, a screening of it at midnight. Did she text you that it was WPAP?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah, she said, uh, I hated Durz's part. Ohhhh. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the whole thing nowadays. It's already, it's out now. It's already out. It's on Paramount Plus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well dang. Let's get my butt in the seat. I worked with Zac Efron and he didn't fucking bring in a meat guy at all. I'm pissed now. Well he was the meat. You gotta lick that meat off of that bone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I feel like it can be a collective.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, points! Cause my birthday is first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, once the pain of the shot wore off, I felt great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Get the scans. No, I'm, I'm super, I'm super into that modern medicine, dude. Oh yeah. And every, I'm thankful for everyone that fell into the DMs. They fell into my DMs, they don't- Okay, stumbled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, dude, my stand up to cancer post, I like did it super quick. I was like doing something else and I wrote stand, uh, like hashtag stand up to cancer and kiss cancer goodbye. I wrote, uh, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to This Is Importance, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about... My body's built to process vodka, so I'm gonna be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, here's what you do, just pretend. And then you'll believe. This is a weird conversation to have at a Hooters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you have to. Yeah, you do. You do. Relatable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is interesting, right? Right? This is an interesting thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you let him sing, it's a concert. It's a concert. You have to, you're at a concert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just clarification. It's okay to clarify right? It's okay to clarify.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think I know my most transcendent moment at a concert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think so. This dude was old. The guy playing the theremin was fucking old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's an electronic device that works in proximity. So if your hand gets close to one of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was like the high point of a fucking ripping set, dude. Like if you're into Jack White's guitar, it was fucking ripping, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the strangest part, is it was like, it actually worked with the way that he would- It was really wild. Dude, this was-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me and Durs used to just walk places at festivals. Oh my god. And be like, we're supposed to be here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Reggie Watts was a king. He's a king of the loop. Big shout out. Yessir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ders, I'm like trying to remember like Ders. Yeah, we had great dinners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I never have done that before. I've never put them in the same... White Southern. I group people together by races.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeaah, cause he's a movie star. Machine Gun Kelly's a movie star now though. He's got movies. Yeaah, but kind of. No, he's got movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't stop eating! Yeah, you don't look like a bowl of mashed potatoes. You're okay, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are they fucking closing? I heard they're done, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this, you're not gonna have that issue. Because 98% of the stuff that's on the shelves, you need. Yeah, that's true. It's as simple as that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's probably been pretty picked over though, don't you think? If they've announced it and they're not resupplying, it's probably picked over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just like hello my name is for like- Hello my name is? I think it's for new members, right? You hope to not wear one every-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, do you remember where you guys went in LA? If that was in LA?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Orange-ish paste. I think that is uni. That's unari. That's, that's inari, I think. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then he's like, Yeah, maybe not. I don't like E.O. I'll tell him, yeah, I don't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't evolve, you can't be like- You can't, yea, you can't become- We're not talking naturally funny though, we're just saying funny funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. There's tons of these type of people, but go. Yes, I know a lot of these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Classic phrase. Or, or you're like, dude, you gotta come on set to Workaholics and do this scene and then you put a camera in front of them and they're like, uuuh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. You just gotta give them a freakin' six pack and let them go off, man. They're hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. It is. Wow. Blake, why are you outside today, bud?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, I'm just, uh, just switching it up, switching up the vibe. It's, it's, you know, starting to get chilly. It might start raining. Are you outside? I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hit the 30 second. You hit it four times. For our show, you hit it seven times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Dude, I don't rap gifs anymore. I'm a bad guy, I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I put them in a plastic bag, I tie the bag. Come on man, we don't got wrapping paper laying around. And you know what sucks now? Cause back in the day, in the 90's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You used to have newspapers laying around. So that was instant. As if. That was instant wrapping paper. But what happened guys? No more newspaper. Say it with me. No more newspaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, I also somehow I still have a subscription. I don't even know what magazine


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other, uh, magazine I get that I don't know how I get it, I still, and I have gotten Maxim for so long, I still get...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, now it's like super ultra like rich guy shit. Like that's what they kinda leaned into. When we were reading it, it was like college, like all this stuff, but now it's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well now it's like, uh, this is like the car that can go underwater and it could be yours for fucking two billion dollars or whatever. Right. That's expensive by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But doesn't rapport mean something else? Probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no way to tell, dude. Man, and if Kyle was here, still wouldn't know? Oh, god damn, Kyle. We might know less. Oh yeah, the bitch. See ya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the source was sick for a minute. I still have some of my old source magazines. I used to have ESPN magazine, which was sick. I have a couple of those. Uh, Slam was a cool magazine.


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[Assistant] That was my shit. Should we give highlights it's flowers? Absolutely, as long as we won't tank the company because they still are in existence. Yeah, let's not talk about them too much.


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[Assistant] That show was the shit. Yeah, she used to shoot the koosh ball at the camera. Wooo! Oh my god. Shit killer. That was so sick. Shoot the koosh. You gotta shoot the koosh, man. Flowers to Rosie without killing her, man.


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[Assistant] What's your other, what's your other mag? My other mag that I had a subscription to for years, probably a decade. Stuff.


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[Assistant] Mm. Mad Magazine, baby. Oh yea. None other than Mad Magazine. What a legendary magazine. I still have most of them too. Cool art. Cool art in this magazine.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it would just be like a huge dollar bill and it would be like they're sucking your money out of your ass.


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[Assistant] We never got Diarrhea We never Diarrhea We never got workaholics in Mad Magazine. And we were right there. I remember them like sniffing around.


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[Assistant] No, they, I think they would, uhm, lampoon the people they loved. They, you know, they would, you know, that was their way of shouting you out by making fun of you.


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[Assistant] Uh, well I think one of the director's choices, Brandon Dermer, was to pull my hair back and put a hat on. So, there is that, yeaah.


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[Assistant] I think it was a note from the producer, Kyle, that came through the director. I think it was his way of kind of fucking taking a shot at me.


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[Assistant] By the way, shout out to all the, the boarders out there who were like, Hey, there's lawyers with long hair. They sent a bunch of really cool long hair lawyers that are from like, there's one from like Texas and I think one from Florida that was, it was very inspiring.


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[Assistant] But do they have a way to, like, talk to, like, the judge? Or are they like, yeah, I'm in here every other week. Dude.


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[Assistant] For as cheap as possible too, probably.


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[Assistant] Dude, that was the first thing, like this was the first time, cause I, I think I've talked about it, like I used to look through my, my aunt's like encyclopedia serial killers and like look at crime scene photos.


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[Assistant] But like, for some reason watching that series, like I think it's cause they kept talking about the smell of it.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I just don't, I just don't like being here in this world. I bailed after three because I was just like, uh, uh, I didn't like it. I mean, dude, the second time you watch it though.


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[Assistant] And homophobia for sure, they just did not give gay dudes the time of day.


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause there was literally that one dude who was a minor who like was like out like


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[Assistant] Like, yo dude, this dude is fucking torturing me. And then Dahmer was just like, we're just doing gay stuff, man. And they're like, go take that inside. And even the neighbor called and was like,


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[Assistant] You're zero. You're one. Not just a good movie, also. Let us not forget Jack the Ripper. Jack the Ripper, quite the serial killer. From hell. Yes.


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[Assistant] Dude, it's crazy, but that, yea, that can fuck you too. Sometimes with those fibers, they put, put the wrong people in the wrong place. It's like, come on now.


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[Assistant] That's true. Cause it doesn't matter. But entertainment lawyers, that, you're never like in front of a judge. That's just reading fucking.


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[Assistant] Yeah man, sometimes you just gotta tackle the family Christmas.


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[Assistant] Trail mix. What kind? What are you working with? Like the tropical kind that has the little dried mangoes and the pineapples and the chocolate chips. Oh yea. Look at this guy. Ders, looks like such the guy that like has his trail mix game on lock. You look like human trail mix.


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[Assistant] Well Terz, the reason I called you trail mix is because like trail mix is-


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[Assistant] You're like the friend, you wear layers, look at you, you have layers on, you can peel down, you always have shoes that are active. I love that you said peel down.


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[Assistant] I think I say peel down because I heard Durr say peel down. Yeah. Cause I don't think that's from anybody in my family.


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[Assistant] Uh, I'll, I'll take you on sausage, but you're- I am- I am-


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[Assistant] Wow. Okay, that explains it though, cause you pulled that real quick and I don't associate him with that character like, first things first. That's not what goes up front of my mind.


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[Assistant] Yeah, dude, so the movie falling down is about this business guy


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[Assistant] Yeaah, it, it, it is funny, it's kinda ca- Well explain what the movie is, Blake. It's like this dude, I can't remember what his inciting incident is, but he's kinda like a- Traffic. He's in traffic.


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[Assistant] It's definitely a weird movie to watch now because it's just like angry white guy on like a shooting rampage. It's strange. I don't know that it would get green lit without like, I mean it tries to say things but overall it's kind of like just watching a video game where it's just like a guy going from place to place.


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[Assistant] Yeah, this is the last day, he's about to retire, and he's like, aw shit, I gotta solve this one. And the wife's like,


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[Assistant] That's actually a great question. What the hell do I know Michael Douglas from? Romancing the stone? Come on!


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[Assistant] Like are the ones where I'm like, yeah, that's where I know Michael Douglas from. What the hell?


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[Assistant] Sorry man, what do you want to think of one?


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[Assistant] Yeah. R.I.P. Let's see Jordan. R.I.P. Flowers to him. Uhm, well, I guess I'll give flowers. Any giveaways?


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[Assistant] I'll give away a shout out to Kyle for I'm Totally Fine in theaters November 2nd. That's what I was going to do dude. Well I would listen to the recording but it's very long. Uhm, I'm in it. Yeah, we don't want to listen to it again.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm excited to be a part of it, and it's cool that it's gonna be, what did Kyle say? It's in some movie theaters, so if it's around you, yeah, but-


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[Assistant] For sure. Yeah. I mean, we can't do the movie. You can't wear a wig in the Workaholics movie.


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[Assistant] Okay, well people are talking. He said it funny again, couldn't say it regularly.


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[Assistant] Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today on This Is Important,


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[Assistant] You know what? I don't like it. It's, they play, it's a little too loud. When you walk into a hotel where the music's just a little too loud already. We're not talking volume.


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[Assistant] No, I hear you. I mean, we stayed at the W. And that's Adam's major priority is what helps him wash his face. All the body lotion has glitter.


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[Assistant] To do the podcast live at their exotic locations, like, Croatia. Happy to be there.


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[Assistant] I, I think I, somewhere. $10,000 whiskey? Is that in the? Yeah, wait, what? It's called Pappy Van Winkle?


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[Assistant] How much better is it than like, fucking four roses? Wild turkey.


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[Assistant] Talk to me about wild turkey. But like it's $10,000. You're drinking it, why are you spending $10,000 on it? How old is it? And also why is it called Pappy Van Winkle?


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[Assistant] And then the liquor store's like, we don't care because no one's going to come in here and buy that bottle of $10,000 whiskey.


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[Assistant] Dealers too. It's like, hey, I already know this much about weed and have this much experience. Let's make it legal.


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[Assistant] And was the, was the Kennedy presidency a fuckin', uh, slapback? Was that fuckin' like, oh, he tried to do the not-go-way-now-we-knew-uh?


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[Assistant] And it was like, she had legendary dome apparently, which is great. Cool.


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[Assistant] Nancy Reagan is trending for allegedly being renowned in Hollywood for performing oral sex. Here's why it seems more complex.


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[Assistant] True. Oh, slurping? It was, this was like, yeaah, this was like...


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[Assistant] That's what I'm saying. It's like, uh, that was not like on the checklist of when you're in middle school being like, alright, I need a hand job, I need to like suck some boobs, get a blowjob and fuck. Nobody was like, dude, you know you could slip in booty eating right between blowjob and fucking.


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[Assistant] You know when they throw the ball and you're caught between like a tag out or whatever? What do they call that? Where they're trying to run by it? Yeah, your hot box. That's called pickle. That's the original pickle ball.


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[Assistant] You gotta like get your clothes off by the time you get to home base. What?


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[Assistant] I mean, the Cubs were so bad for so long that that was also the vibe of Wrigley. It's just a giant bar.


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[Assistant] I mean, it's, yeah, it is fun, but it's also just...


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[Assistant] A lot of drunk people kicking it, high fiving, the high fiving.


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[Assistant] It's not like that, because I was there, I don't know, a year after you, and we went and fucking kicked. I think I talked about this on the pod how,


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[Assistant] Em and I went, we were there on July 4th, we were just in France, and we went over to Monte Carlo, and it was July 4th, and we saw these people setting up for like, a fucking July 4th USA celebration, but it hadn't opened yet, it was like lunch time, and we were hungry, and we're like, are you guys open? They're like, yeah, we're open right now.


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[Assistant] And then, in whatever French accent. And then all of a sudden... Do it, do the French accent. Can you do a French accent? The waiters and waitresses start coming out, and they're all in Indian headdresses and like, basketball uniforms, cause they're like...


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[Assistant] Like super hot waitresses in like the headdresses with the feathers and then all the dudes were dressed in like Kobe jerseys.


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[Assistant] Well, I also saw, and Kyle, I don't know how much time you had to kill and like scope out the scene, but I saw a Gucci kids store. Oh yea. Gucci! Yea, I was all around that. This is hilarious.


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[Assistant] And you kind of are, like, when you're there, if you're rich, I imagine... You're like, do I get a hundred dollar beer? You buy it because you're like, this is hilarious, I'm so rich, they price, a hundred dollars, yes, two. I'm right.


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[Assistant] We can do that. So this is the problem. Cause they did this in China and now there's like ghost cities where like nobody lives there. But it's people who are buildings, buildings, making money, acting as if people are going to be moving there and then no one moves there and there's entire cities that are just like empty. But good luck. This place looks like it's out.


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[Assistant] What do you mean horizontal? Cause that means flat. That's what I'm trying to find.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would love to do one of those like crazy Instagram vacations out to someplace absurd. You know, where you're like working out on top of a skyscraper. Yeah, that'd be kind of cool. Like that's where you do yoga. You're like, we're just beer bonging. Yeah, we're not.