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[Assistant] Oh, okay, yeah. Just get the fuck back here, you stupid idiot, I'mma- Can you wire Ronnie 200 bucks? I'm not gonna- If I can find my laptop, I can, but I wanna-


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[Assistant] Don't be saying it was Ronnie this and Ronnie that if it's real. It wasn't Ronnie, it was Danny, uh.


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[Assistant] Aircraft characters, all that shit. They build that shit, they can build a big fucking fan that's big and high.


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[Assistant] Bigger and taller than the CN Tower, and it blows fucking clouds. Maybe it moves, so it kinda blows the clouds and follows them and keeps blowing them until they get to where you need them. We're just fucking shooting out ideas here, guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then it made more sense because it's, you know, after their name they decided ERS.


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[Assistant] I am normally pretty fucked up right now. I'm actually waiting on some hash to be delivered.


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[Assistant] What do you mean, Ricky? Am I sure? Yeah, no, here we are. It's all if you look back there. Where else would we fucking be right now, Rick? Right. We're in Hollywood.


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[Assistant] Have you met Donald Trump? I have Is he alright?


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[Assistant] I mean, wouldn't happen now, but if Chris Farley married someone with the last name Nearly, it'd be weird. And they hyphenated his last name.


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[Assistant] I've heard Elvis Costello talk about you, and Paul McCartney. Paul McCartney. Wow. Yea, no one knows who I am. They're pretty big.


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[Assistant] Can I ask you about that? Yea, sure, go ahead. You told, you said you went to Paul McCurtain's house. I did, yea. Can you tell that story, like for people that never heard of it?


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[Assistant] Did he at least offer you a drink when you got there, other than a tea?


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[Assistant] It's like, no, well, probably it just, it chills you out, man. Right.


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[Assistant] You smoke it, it's delicious. It's not, it's just like a vapor. Do you guys all smoke cigarettes? No. Oh, that's good. Just, uh, joints. Just joints? Yeah. I smoke everything. Everything that smokes, I smoke it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's a story behind the name Jukasa. It's a sad story, but it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I just- Well, it's a great- Probably made up a name and maybe he's really good at doing that stuff or-


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[Assistant] More like Africa, wouldn't it? Cork. Cork comes from Africa? I would think. Nice south Cork. It should come from Cork.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, just the whole time thing, how it works. We're shooting it now but it's gonna come out on Friday.


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[Assistant] So it's actually, it's Friday right now, uh, his tour just ended on Monday. Well, he just played in Halifax on Monday. Just on Monday. I thought today was Monday. See? Fuck, here we go. He just fucked it up.


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[Assistant] So I wanna ask you, you did a bunch of stuff with Elvis Costello.


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[Assistant] We could actually play that song next time we have to get away. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Can I play you a song that I wrote and see if you, uh...


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[Assistant] If you could draw a harmony on this, I could never figure out how to make this song.


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[Assistant] I think there's an E minor in there somewhere. Alright. It just goes like this.


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[Assistant] I found Daisy in a storm drain, covered in liquor and glue.


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[Assistant] That's good, I'm glad they got that shit out of it. I mean, that stuff's not good for you. That stuff will rot your teeth and fuck you over. Fuck you over pretty bad. Stick to this, and a couple pops every now and then, you'll be fine. Yup. Alright guys.


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[Assistant] Like, that's what I wanna know. You're making it more complicated. It's just weird, man. Alright, well, try to talk about some fun stuff, guys.


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[Assistant] It's more likely, more likely it is Ted Cruz than Tom Cruise married him. I wouldn't say he married Cameron Diaz, right? No, you, I don't know. You must be surprised because I thought you said he was gay.


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[Assistant] I said that I think he's a handsome man and he's a good dancer. Maybe it was my dad, I don't remember. Alright. Alright, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need a little, if you guys are continuing to be in the broadcast, I would like to have my payment in the comments. If that's okay with you. For people that can't see this right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he tried to tempt me with little lickermans, but I hadn't had a drink. In how long? About what, 20 minutes?


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[Assistant] When you let it back in, there's pots of bottles of people. Oh, so you didn't just have a big snap of a record there, that was just- No, it's a trick. Knock, knock! Who was there? Juno.


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[Assistant] I could get you another bottle, wasn't it, fellas? What's in that one?


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[Assistant] Sucknape is when you see a nice little scene, like the Statue of Liberty, and you fucking put your camera under there and get your body to get your corpse. That's all it is, balls. It's ballscapes, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck is that? Get for that, a bond shot. I'm trying to say, I, I, I haven't brought any of these, this, I'll just put this in your cigarette lighter, and you keep your drinky cool. And I was going to share it with you guys, because I wanted to dose your new bar glass. This one's for you, and, so is it, so is it.


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[Assistant] You don't do anything about it. Well I'm doing something right now, okay? I'm trying to fucking find some stuff that's worth talking about. Don't be a dick.


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[Assistant] Now you're the one getting fucked up, man. We're getting a good buzz on. You're getting totally fucked.


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[Assistant] Ricky, the Jolly Green John, he's not like a living fucking being, okay?


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[Assistant] Ricky, if I was a fucking kangaroo, I would just hop on and just fucking bram it in there.


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[Assistant] I wouldn't care. It wouldn't matter. I wouldn't be checking it out. Equal. I don't like your kangaroo. You're a kangaroo. You don't pick. You just fucking give her. Boys. Would you go like this?


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[Assistant] That, none of that exists, man. There's no such thing as fairies, Ricky. Come on.


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[Assistant] See, bubs, you're gonna get him all ranged up now because of this, because you know he's gonna fucking...


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[Assistant] Check this out, as many as 60% of Iceland's population think it is possible that elves may exist. That's fucked.


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[Assistant] That's a good idea. Take your lunch break and go, like, bang. Instead of watching porn. Just go do some banging.


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[Assistant] Are we done? I think we are. Can we finish this please? I need to go take a nap.


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[Assistant] Well, I prepared a lot of joints, Ricky, okay? Cause we were getting baked during the fucking podcast.


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[Assistant] They're three quarters. Oh man, this is kind of embarrassing. These are only like, what? We just got regular, regular sized joints. F**k! I didn't think you were actually going to have them. I would have rolled six people.


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[Assistant] You gotta be fucking kidding me. Oh my fuck boy. So they're uptight in Sweden then? They're uptight there? Yea, very uptight. Well what the fuck are we going to Sweden for?


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[Assistant] Lucy's acting pretty nervous about that whole thing, so I'm hoping she wasn't on there. Ricky, you can't use a fucking computer, man. She's got nothing to worry about. Alright. Dumbass.


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[Assistant] I wish I would have known we were gonna have a real fucking guest. I would have prepared some shit, man. We're here.


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[Assistant] No, I've got shit going here, I just have no questions or anything.


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[Assistant] Right? It might be good though, it might taste a little bit like bacon. Okay, it's not gonna taste like bacon.


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[Assistant] What do you think about, uh, efflate grades, or the, uh, the thing where the fucking balls got... ...efflated. Deflate gate, Ricky.


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[Assistant] That is pretty fucked up. I don't know enough about it, but the whole thing sounds really fucked me.


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[Assistant] So because they made a fucking movie about it, it's actually going to happen now, because robots are getting smart.


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[Assistant] That's gonna happen. Great. That's exactly what's gonna fucking happen. Well until then, we may as well just get extra high and drink a lot and have fun.


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[Assistant] See, we should make a movie about that. Fuck using guns and lasers. Just get them hookers and get them high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about that Halloween party that's coming up in Amsterdam? They're actually gonna spray real blood all over everybody at this rave. It's a blood rave.


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[Assistant] Why would you fucking do that, Rick? Well, if you got a cut or whatever, or a shot. And you just spray it all over yourself.


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[Assistant] No, but you fucking gotta wipe it on stuff, so. I've been covering it in my own blood. It's not a big deal. Like dancing around doing it, partying?


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's pretty, uh, was that what you said? Yeah, we did the same thing. It was in London, England. It was in, uh. No, it was in like. Moncton or Prince Edward Island. Charlottetown Prince Edward Island.


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[Assistant] Walnuts? I don't know. I don't play walnuts, I like peanuts. I like cashews. I like my nuts.


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[Assistant] Cider smoke, man. This is wicked.


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[Assistant] Absolutely. Damn right. Yea, you can come hang out anytime with us. Fucking right. Absolutely.


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[Assistant] Oh boys, look at our chips! They taste so much better and I'll try them. Ugh, those are decent! Okay, boys. What?


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[Assistant] I would have rolled about 10 more joints, much bigger, different flavors, and would have brought about 10 more beer. Fah!


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[Assistant] Yeah, I agree. Me too, man. I don't fucking play Skittles. I don't play Skittles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mean like your ladies or your garden hose or your penis?


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[Assistant] Why wouldn't I smoke the three joints before this had I known that you were actually gonna pull Snoop together? Wow. You're doing fine right now.


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[Assistant] Maybe the lecker will level me off. Or maybe it'll make you more fucked up. I hope it does. Maybe I don't need to get leveled off, do I? No man, you're doing great. Nah, stay high. You should have been more prepared. I would have been, but...


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[Assistant] No, I know, but you don't usually get this fucked, so it's kinda, it's fun to see ya.


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[Assistant] That just feels weird that it goes into these things and then comes out wherever.


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[Assistant] We should keep drinking and go somewhere tonight. Maybe go look at some ladies. Maybe we should try down the line.


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[Assistant] There's different, I don't know what we smoked, it could have been weed, or it could have been honey oil. Maybe hash, or a mixture of all three.


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[Assistant] This is the best part of life, right here. Feeling like this. Talking to Snoop.


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[Assistant] Jesus, that sounds good. Make my mouth water. Fuckin' stir. 12-pack bitch.


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[Assistant] There's no wall burgers over here yet. See? I'm working it boys. We're having a fucking barbecue tonight. What? We're having a fucking barbecue. Okay, we're having a barbecue.


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[Assistant] You're fucked, pups. I am, I'm not denying it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well let him go eat his breakfast. And we're gonna go have a big fucking barbecue, I guess. Cause you made me hungry talking about all that barbecue. Fuck! Let's get the barbecue going.


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[Assistant] Snoop doggie doggie dog. It's just- It's Snoop Dogg. It's Snoop Dogg, Ricky. Alright, Bubs, you know what? You fucking came through. And next week, I'm gonna have some shit prepared.


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[Assistant] We've got sponsors now. I don't know how you're gonna follow that. We have sponsors now. We didn't really talk about much of anything for them, you know?


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[Assistant] They probably are delicious. Those guys are pretty fevious and rich. They probably have a really good fucking burger.


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[Assistant] Cause they'd have the time and the money to fucking spend on developing a good fucking burger. I bet it's delicious.


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[Assistant] Ditch burger. Ditch burger. Probably tastes shitty, so I don't know.


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[Assistant] Anyway, I thought it was a bit of a dumb name, Burger that Hangs Me Wall, then I realized that it was those guys, so it's kind of...


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[Assistant] You know, it's kinda smart, I guess. Alright guys, we can end this now, okay? Cause it's their name, you just add the ERS. Ricky, you're soundin' really dumb.


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[Assistant] Well, it could have been because the thing's hanging on my wall, which pissed me off by the way. And I was like, okay, I guess that's the whole thing. It's a burger that hangs on a wall, you see.


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[Assistant] Boys, boys, we gotta end this thing. I thought we did. We did? We're still going. We gotta sign off. Alright. Did we talk, Snoop Dogg? Yes, we did.


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[Assistant] Okay, we're the fuck outta here. I hope you're more prepared next time. Cheers everybody.


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[Assistant] Signing off. Who fucked up? Barbecue.


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[Assistant] Cheers. Lots of sauce. Alright, signing off for real this time. People's syrup. Signing off!


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[Assistant] Honey? You don't get to just yell and then we'll find out. I'm one of the fucking hosts, okay? I can fucking sign off. Lots of fresh garlic. Lots. Fried onions. Fried mushrooms.


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[Assistant] Oh, Julian's leaving. I'm gonna go fucking start up the barbecue, you dumbass. Well, we gotta go to the fucking store. We don't have any of this shit that I just listed off. Who's driving? Cause I'm fucking drunk. I'm not driving, I'm big. Whoa, actually I'm a lot more drunk than I thought I was. See ya, boss.


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[Assistant] Ricky, think about that. That is so fucking stupid, Ricky. How can a bird fly- Who's flying them then, Julian? It's a remote control, an RC. It's a guy, like, fucking flying them, man, from land.


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[Assistant] I can fly. Go south and get back. Yea, but they don't know how to fucking fly drones. They don't know how to fucking... How can they even move the switches, man?


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[Assistant] They have a mountain, like a small mountain of legally imported fucking European cheese. Alright, well that's not that.


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[Assistant] God, okay, this is one of the craziest things we've ever seen, what the fuck.


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[Assistant] Made routine traffic stop early Thursday morning and got more than they bargained for when Roy Tivett, 51, stepped out of Zalcamino.


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[Assistant] How many attempts to pause it right at the perfect spot did it take you till you got it? Because I know you did it. You paused it, didn't you?


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[Assistant] I don't know what made you think of that.


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[Assistant] It's not going to the moon, man. It's just out there on the internet. People are like, you know, going on iTunes.


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[Assistant] Good to get like anybody as a guest because it's not happening.


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[Assistant] No, no, what about that chick, uh, Rhonda, Rhonda the fighter, UFC fighter that just kicked the shit out of that other chick. See, she'd be a good guest. Rhonda? What's her name?


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[Assistant] I forget her name now. From her, from school? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That Rhonda one.


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[Assistant] Rick did teach me something the other night that was pretty cool. Check this out, man.


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[Assistant] Welcome to the podcast. Okay, so are we started?


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[Assistant] Well I wouldn't have got all fucked up if I'd known that. Does he smoke? Cause I did save half a joint actually.


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[Assistant] I thought the song wasn't that bad. What is the song again? The fucking song was singing about islands and the tropics and their fucking chickens. And how'd it go?


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[Assistant] Blindfolding. Well I can't see it either now, so there, we're even.


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[Assistant] Right, if I can't see it, I can't smoke it and I can't drink it, right? So I'm gonna try to knock it to five times.


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[Assistant] So now I can't drink that anymore. Bye, get my bird right in your drink. Who sponsored us this week? It better not be those fucking crazy beer people again.


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[Assistant] Mine's not believing that I'm drinking cause I can't see it. So I won't get drunk.


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[Assistant] Now I don't know whether to take it off or leave the fucking thing on. Kinda look like a superhero.


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[Assistant] You know what? I'm gonna leave it on, cause I want the fucker first guess to be a surprise. Oh, is that right? He better be somebody fu- Is he cool?


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[Assistant] What the frick are you being such a jerk for, Ricky? I thought we were gonna get someone fucking cool, like a real gas, not a fucking idiot. Dumbass jerk deck. Well, I'm not gonna do this either, but he's gonna be a-


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[Assistant] Alright Randy, but if you fuck around anyway, you eat any of my shit, you drink any of my shit, you smoke any of my shit, we're fucking fighting. That's all I'm telling you.


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[Assistant] Can I make something clear first? What I mean guest, I mean guest, not fucking some dick ass cheeseburger fuck locker from the trailer park. I think next time I want a real fucking guest.


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[Assistant] Maybe that's the way he hooks now, who knows. That's the way he hooks?


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[Assistant] You should use a fucking finger condom if you're gonna have any, cause I don't know where that mouth has been today. Just use a finger condom.


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[Assistant] You put the fucking joint in deep, so you're just, you're not touching the actual joint. Yea, see, he knows what a finger condom is. Not surprised. Ricky, that's good shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a twist-off, man. I was just fucking with you. God, you're so stupid. There you go, bud.


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[Assistant] Holy fuck, why did you all of a sudden bring up dog poop?


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[Assistant] It was you, wasn't it? You're the one that smeared that fucking creamy dog shit on the front of my fucking trailer, wasn't it?


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[Assistant] He brought it up. Okay. I thought he was, and actually now that we're talking about it, there's a certain recycle bag with cans and...


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[Assistant] That's an important fact to people. See, I'm doing a show called Getting Learned and that'd be something good to put on that. I came up with another good one for Getting Learned too. Big fucking block of ice and a fan. Air conditioner. Cheap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't come up with that. People have been doing that forever. Really? Well it's fucking smart. I only thought of it when I was really fucking high and drunk.


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[Assistant] But I can- Well you also probably have to be funny, and you have to be fucking able to act, which I don't think-


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[Assistant] Hairy bitch. Nice one, loves. So we killed the wooly mammoth, that sucks.


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[Assistant] Which makes no fucking sense. I mean, Greece. They must have made a lot of movie off the movie and...


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[Assistant] You fry all the shit in their stuff, so. What do they do with all their money? They just fucking blow it and waste it? How the fuck does a country like that fuck up so bad?


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[Assistant] Where do you think that's from? Why do you think it's named that? Because it's fucking from Greece.


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[Assistant] They make grease, they make fucking all kinds of greases you use on your car.


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[Assistant] Why would they let him call it that? You are so friggin stupid, Ricky.


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[Assistant] I don't fucking need to hear from you right now. What did you think Greece was from? It's two different things, Ricky. Totally different. You're just saying that because Bubba said that, you don't fucking know him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do they fucking put gas in their fucking cars? Holy fuck, this is stupid. I think they drive mopeds and stuff.


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[Assistant] Okay, well, some people think that and some people don't. Whatever. I guess we never really figured it out, did we? Who was right and who was wrong on that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're making it worse? Like, that's good. That's real fucking smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had some news. I was reading through one of the paper things that tells you thoughts. And, uh, the, uh, what is the fabulous for? Fucking tanked, I heard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Fantastic Four, the movie? The movie. Fabulous. Fantastic Four. Is that what it is, really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's the same, it means the same thing, right? Fabulous or fantastic. So maybe the poster, it could have been a different poster I saw, or it was a picture anyway, so it was probably the same movie, just a different poster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, fuck, that's exactly what was just going through my mind. I wonder if they go on a fucking cheap night. Holy fuck, Randy.


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[Assistant] It's still pretty cool from last night. Boys, what a fucking bit of a mission here. So that's it, we got nothing else?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got other things. Alright. Randy, you got anything you want to talk about? You guys, excuse me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a fuck mushroom. What else does it look like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's get a fuckin', I don't know, a rocky guy. Like a rockstar guy. A rockstar guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that, is that it? Cause this is probably the worst one ever for me. I guess. Much of a buzz on. Randy's here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey folks, Aaron here. It's been a while since I've been able to pop in to give you some news, announcements, and some heads up on cool projects. But, uh, I'll make this quick. Don't worry. Let's dig into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First, I had a chance to do my first live lore show since COVID at the end of October, and it was such a blast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you've never seen Lore Live, just imagine me on stage reading you stories out of an old leather-bound book while my best bud, Chad Lawson, plays on the grand piano. And after doing the show, Chad and I were in total agreement. We need to tour in 2024.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is where you come in. If you live near a major American city and you want us to include it in our planning, drop that city in the comments below.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now listen, we can't go everywhere. I think that's understood by everybody. And we need to focus on big cities because it's easier for travel and everybody's hotel stay and all that stuff. But if we can get into your neck of the woods, we would love to see you there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next up, I've got a challenge that I think you can help me with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A few months ago, we started making episodes called lore legends. Now these are stories that are maybe a bit less historical, but so incredibly important to communities all over the place.


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[Assistant] Because as our society becomes less rooted in one physical location, those local legends are at risk of slipping away. There's no one left in town to pass the stories on to a new generation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a small thing, but I would like to think that Lord Legend's episodes are helping to preserve that local lore. And that's where I need your help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have a special, spooky, or strangely unusual story from your town, my team and I want to hear about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I can't promise that your particular story will make it into an episode, but we really want to find ways to make that happen. At the very least, we'll be able to build a database, one that I hope to make available someday in the future for everyone to browse through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why? Because these hyper local legends deserve a chance to be documented and saved, and maybe even get their moment in the spotlight. So if you have a cool local legend you want to share with us, head over to the lore website, that's lorepodcast.com, and then click on the story submission link under learn more in the menu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, I can't guarantee that all of the stories you send us will be featured on lore, but there's no denying that every story is valuable. And with your help, we can preserve them for future generations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And last, I launched a brand new podcast back in August that I think you'd really enjoy. It's called That's Just Weird. And you can think of it as a weekly weird news show. But it's more than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every 20 minute episode has three parts. Recent weird news, historical events from that particular week or month in history, and then one bigger weird story from the past.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you love lore and cabinet of curiosities, this podcast is going to feel like part of that family. It's hosted by me, it comes out every Friday morning, and has a healthy balance of weird facts and some dad jokes. Because, well, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can listen to the trailer and read more about the show on its website over at grimandmild.com slash weird. I'll put all those links in the description below so you don't have to worry about jotting that thing down while you're driving. And that's it, folks. Thank you for your support. And as always, stay spooky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you fucking serious? We've talked about this, Ricky. The podcast. What is it? What? Oh my Jesus.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you can get as high as you want. We just gotta sit here and talk about, you know, shit that's going on around the world and- It's a- it's like a radio show kind of thing, Ricky, and we're-


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[Assistant] Buzz, I'm gonna have to get high for this fucking next half hour. Okay, so- This is where to fuck.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but we're getting this for free, okay, and they're paying us money right now. So this came right from them, to us, is that what you're saying? It probably came right, yeah, a dude dropped it off that works for these guys for bone shakes.


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[Assistant] Okay, take a drink of it. Look in the camera. Are these twisties? They're not twisties, you gotta pop them.


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[Assistant] Fuck, who's complaining about smoking someone else's joint, eh? I'm not complaining, I wasn't going to smoke dope for this, but you're fucking driving me crazy. Coat the palete with a little...


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[Assistant] How do you- Ricky, how can his bones be asleep? They're not waking up. Give me that fucking thing.


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[Assistant] Instead of a podcast, it's a podcash. We're making money to do this.


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[Assistant] That's cool. So we could put papers there in the future if someone wants to sponsor us.


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[Assistant] How the fuck, how is a horse gonna pay us money to be in the podcast? And where, where the fuck am I gonna put the horse? I'd build a horse thing. You'd build a horse thing.


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[Assistant] You know, I usually drink rum, but if I was a beer drinker, it would definitely be a bone shaker. 7.1, are you kidding me? Get pretty drunk off that shit.


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[Assistant] Yes, that's a, that is a current event.


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[Assistant] He's, he's smart. Maybe he can do a good job with the whole thing. I don't know. Or maybe he could fuck the whole thing up and wreck the whole place. Exactly.


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[Assistant] Well, okay, how would you fix the drug problem in California, Ricky? First thing that comes to mind when this buzz on is...


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[Assistant] Blow it down there. So you're gonna have fans up in the fuckin', like two miles up blowin' fuckin' clouds down, well over. Why?


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[Assistant] You're talking like a big fucking like spaceship, like something from Star Wars or something here, Ricky. You can do that.


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[Assistant] Catch a fucking cloud. Are you kidding me? Catch a fucking cloud. So you want to catch clouds on a big aircraft carrier type thing that's in the sky and ship it over to California.


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[Assistant] We're just fucking shooting out ideas here, guys. That's one of the dumbest things you've ever said.


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[Assistant] I can't, I can't even listen to this anymore, man. As an aircraft carrier, not a character.


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[Assistant] I don't have a fucking clue. It's 30 seconds altogether, Ricky. 30 minutes. See, you're fucking me up now. 60 seconds times 15. No, times 30.


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[Assistant] I'm sorry, I thought you'd know that's not a bong. Just rollin' on the joint, Ricky. There's no bongs on the table.


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[Assistant] Okay, no, no, we're gonna talk about some other things. Okay, we got Hulk Hogan here. He threw the N-bomb a few times, a bunch of times.


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[Assistant] Like, okay, I could see if you're like, okay, you know, Angelina Jolie, she's got a beautiful tan. That makes sense, but Hulk Hogan's got a beautiful tan. No, I was saying-


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[Assistant] Because no, but he's got a beautiful tan.


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[Assistant] You're attracted to him. I'm not. Let's not get off topic. You call another man beautiful because he has a nice tan like- I didn't call him beautiful. You didn't call him beautiful, man.


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[Assistant] Okay, check this out. If the green bastard was in the ring with Hulk Hogan. Oh god. And they got in the move.


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[Assistant] And some tingling things started happening for the green bastard, which would probably happen, because he's got such a nice beautiful tan. He's beautiful. Jesus, boys, I'm trippin'. Would you try to bang him? If you could. If you let ya.


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[Assistant] If it kinda slipped in there by mistake, and he didn't push away, would you keep going?


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[Assistant] What the fuck are we talking about? Just say man, you've got a crush on Hulk Hogan and you want to bang him.


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[Assistant] You do think he's beautiful. He's got a beautiful tan, he's beautiful, and you did say he was handsome.


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[Assistant] It's not, it's not a better thing here. It doesn't make any sense.


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[Assistant] That is fucked up. Okay, moving on. Fuck you, Hulk Hogan. Can't do that. You got five more minutes here, Bubs. Really?


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[Assistant] Oh, we could talk about other things, man. What about, uh, 50 cent, man? All the shit he's going through right now.


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[Assistant] Guy's getting sued, you had to fucking declare bankruptcy. You know he's got all kinds of money in some fucking vault somewhere. Cash.


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[Assistant] No, he's, you know he's got a fucking big vault somewhere, filled with cash. Alright, he's just playing around. You know what? It's time for my drinking nap.


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[Assistant] Why didn't you just go into the living room and go on the fucking sofa?


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[Assistant] Bone Shaker, thanks for the fucking beer, it was great. I'm not a beer guy, but these guys said it was awesome, so. Beelish.


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[Assistant] It's one of the few things we all have in common. All of us need food. And we have for as long as we've been walking around on this planet.


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[Assistant] Of course, food can serve all sorts of purposes. For a lot of folks, it can be a source of comfort. Offering an oasis at the end of a difficult day, like a messy plate of tacos. Or soothing our aching bodies, like a steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup.


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[Assistant] But food isn't always sugar and spice and everything nice. It can have a sinister side as well. All throughout the pages of history are alternate examples of the stuff we eat, where items usually seen as positive have been transformed into something darker.


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[Assistant] Just look at the story of Hansel and Gretel, where two young children are abandoned in the woods and stumble upon a house, but one that isn't exactly a shelter. It's a trap, where food is used by an old witch to lure children in and fatten them up so that she can cook and eat them.


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[Assistant] Then there's the poison apple that puts Snow White into what can only be described as a glass-enclosed coma. And there's more, from the Gingerbread Man to Goldilocks and the Three Bears. It seems that food has always been a key ingredient in so many of the legends and lore we know so well.


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[Assistant] As I said earlier, eating is a necessary part of life. For many, food is associated with positive thoughts and experiences. We might eat turkey at Thanksgiving and remember a time when the family was once all together. A certain flavor of birthday cake might take us all the way back to our childhood.


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[Assistant] Family Recipes. Favorite Meals. You get the idea.


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[Assistant] But food and folklore, specifically fairy folklore, is quite different. It doesn't always bring comfort or joy. In fact, many stories throughout history have portrayed food as something painful or punishing, such as the Irish legend of the fairy dance.


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[Assistant] According to the tale, a beautiful young Irish girl slipped and fell. When she looked up at her surroundings, she realized that she had been transported to someplace else entirely. She noticed several people gathered around a bonfire in the distance, so she stood up and hurried off to investigate.


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[Assistant] Upon her arrival, an equally attractive young prince approached her and asked her to dance. Now, if this had been a movie, the music would have suddenly crescendoed around them as they circled the fire, lighter than air.


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[Assistant] They danced for what seemed like forever until everyone and everything disappeared around them. Afterward, the prince asked the young woman to supper, leading her down a flight of stairs that took them underground. The steps ended at a beautiful ornate hall with a large table in the center covered in delicious foods and wine.


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[Assistant] The woman took a seat at the table, and everyone else who was there encouraged her to eat and drink her fill. It was all so tasty and satisfying. The prince even handed her a golden cup of wine, which she accepted and lifted to her lips. But just as she was about to take a sip, a man walked by and whispered in her ear.


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[Assistant] The girl immediately placed the cup back on the table, watching as her host's demeanor shifted around her. Their party attitudes quickly curdled as one man stood up, furious, and told her that anyone who joined them had no choice but to drink with them.


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[Assistant] As they tried to force the wine down her throat, a redheaded man grabbed her hand and quickly pulled her out of the banquet hall. Then, he gave her a sprig of ivy, telling her that she would be safe as long as she held onto it.


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[Assistant] After that, the girl ran, the sounds of pursuits growing closer behind her. But she didn't look back. She kept running and running until she finally made it home, and then barred the door shut before her assailants could capture her.


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[Assistant] Unsurprisingly though, at least to any woman who exists or has existed at any point in history, these men refused to accept no as an answer. They told her that they would dance outside her home until she finally caved in and joined them. But she held tightly onto that ivy, and the partiers were never able to bother her again.


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[Assistant] Unfortunately, not all stories about stolen maidens end quite so happily.


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[Assistant] Take, for example, the tale of a man named Mr. Noy. He was from the civil parish of St. Berrien in Cornwall. There was, in fact, a William Noy who lived there, according to our research, during the late 16th and early 17th centuries. He served as an English jurist and eventually attorney general.


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[Assistant] But whether this tale concerns that real guy is up for debate, the way it's told, a first name is never given.


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[Assistant] One day, Mr. Noy was helping his neighbors with their harvest. It got late, and after the sun had set, he packed up and headed home. Unfortunately, he never made it. No one saw Mr. Noy for several days, and as the community grew increasingly worried, they began organizing search parties to try and find him.


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[Assistant] Subluck was had on the third day though, when his horse and his dogs were discovered, but Mr. Noy himself was nowhere to be found.


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[Assistant] Those dogs led the search party on a trek through ancient brambles until they reached a cluster of old trees and a set of ruins that none of them had ever laid eyes on before.


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[Assistant] And it didn't take long before they found their missing man. Mr. Noy was there, among the brambles, where he'd been sleeping for three whole days.


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[Assistant] When they woke him, he was unaware of how long he'd been dozing. He didn't believe his neighbors when they told him that he had been out for so long. At least not until he saw that the harvest was completed. But his recollection of how he got there was even more incredible.


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[Assistant] He told them that he had gotten lost on his way home and that his horse had been insistent on taking him in a different direction. At some point, he caught the sound of music in the distance, so he tethered his horse and walked toward it until he came upon a party in the woods.


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[Assistant] There he witnessed a gathering of hundreds, eating, drinking, and dancing merrily. But one detail stood out. Mr. Noy said that the people there were much smaller than him. Too small to be normal humans, he said. Only one person was of average size, a woman playing the part of a damsel.


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[Assistant] As he got closer, he recognized the woman. It was a farmer's daughter named Grace Hutchins. She and Mr. Noy had been in a relationship together until her untimely death several years earlier. As it turned out, Grace wasn't really gone after all. She now lived among the fairies.


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[Assistant] When he tried to kiss her, she stopped him, warning him that touching her or eating or drinking anything at the party would curse him to the same fate as hers. It seems that she had eaten a plum from a beautiful garden that had caused her to faint, and when she woke up, she was surrounded by fairy folk who kept her as a servant.


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[Assistant] Hoping to rescue her and bring her home, Mr. Noy tried to scare the fairies away by using an inside-out glove. Which sounds odd, I know, but it's a fairly common fairy repellent in a lot of the old stories. And for him, it worked, causing them all to disappear.


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[Assistant] Sadly though, they took grace with them when they did, and then someone knocked him over the head.


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[Assistant] After being found and revived by his neighbors, Mr. Noy refused to speak about anything else after that. At night, he would venture back to the Moors, hoping to see his lost love again. And yet, she never reappeared.


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[Assistant] When it's not acting as a trap, food can be a blessing. In many cultures, that's a feature that's meant to be experienced in a group, by sharing with loved ones. But what happens when those family members and friends are no longer with us? After all, the dead can't eat, can they?


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[Assistant] Many of us, especially those of us with kids who love Disney movies, are familiar with Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. But I don't think a lot of people understand just how ancient it really is.


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[Assistant] It's a tradition that started life in Mexico and South America as an indigenous pre-Hispanic death ritual. In fact, a number of indigenous groups, including the Aztec and the Maya, honor their dead on certain days.


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[Assistant] Then, after the Spanish conquest of Latin America, those traditions slowly combined with the Catholic All Saints Day, which takes place on November 1st, and All Souls Day, which takes place on November 2nd. Over the centuries, those two days have become treasured holidays for Latin Americans all around the world.


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[Assistant] But it's important to remember that this is a celebration of life, not death. Dia de las Muertos is a way for the spirits of those who have been lost to visit the living. They are welcomed with open arms and an open kitchen. After all, the fastest way to a spirit's heart is through their stomach. I think. Maybe.


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[Assistant] Families build altars called ofrendas in honor of the spirits of the deceased. These ofrendas are adorned with photos of loved ones who have passed on, along with items that are personally or spiritually significant. And food. Always food.


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[Assistant] Now the most traditional treat left on the ofrenda is known as pan de muerto, or the bread of the dead.


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[Assistant] It's a sweet bread flavored with orange and anise that's often decorated with bone-shaped pieces of dough. It's symbolic of a few things, too. It represents the living family's generosity, and it acts as a gift from the Earth itself. But Pan de Muerto is only one type of offering.


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[Assistant] Others can include bottles of alcohol, tamales, and dishes once loved by the dead. Much of the time the food and drink is consumed by the living as a gesture to honor them. Although for those who believe that the spirits consume the food first, that meal is thought to contain no real nutritional value.


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[Assistant] But Latin America isn't the only place where the dead dine among the living. If you were to travel a ways north during the 19th century, you might have found people sipping wine and enjoying meals in cemeteries all over North America. In fact, cemetery picnics were a hot trend.


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[Assistant] But the reasons were not all that macabre. For one, many American cities lacked public parks. Cemeteries were about as close as folks could get to enjoying nature. Just, you know, with dead bodies resting six feet below.


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[Assistant] Couples there could promenade arm in arm and socialize with others they bumped into as well.


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[Assistant] Of course, cemeteries became social gathering places for other reasons that were darker than a simple day outside.


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[Assistant] Illness took a lot of lives back then, including yellow fever, tuberculosis, and just the general results of poor medical knowledge. Women often tragically died while giving birth, and many of those children who survived would never live to see adulthood.


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[Assistant] Because of all that loss, cemeteries weren't just serene places. They held special meaning for families who had lost loved ones unexpectedly. In fact, it wasn't uncommon to see Thanksgiving dinner being held at the grave of a departed relative.


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[Assistant] And while some people considered cemetery picnics to be uncivilized and gruesome, that didn't stop the trend from picking up steam.


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[Assistant] The truth was, a whole lot of people were looking for ways to honor lost loved ones in a manner that brought everyone together and celebrated their lives.


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[Assistant] As the years progressed, though, things started to change, for the better. For one, mortality rates dropped, medical care improved, and both mothers and their children lived much longer. And the number of public parks also grew, so many towns and cities soon had specific areas for people to get out and enjoy nature.


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[Assistant] No longer did people have to spread out a blanket beside a gravestone if they wanted to enjoy lunch in public. By the 1920s, the trend of cemetery picnics, if you'll pardon the pun, had simply died out. Today, many cemeteries actually prohibit picnicking on their grounds, claiming that they're worried about litter and other nuisances.


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[Assistant] But there are still burial grounds out there today that allow a person to crack open a bottle of wine and a basket of sandwiches if a traditional picnic seems a bit too vanilla for them. As long as folks are respectful, I don't see how the dead would mind breaking bread with the living.


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[Assistant] Try it sometime. I often took my kids to the local graveyard when they were little, and we sometimes brought food for a summer meal. It can be relaxing to eat under those large trees, and the quiet is almost therapeutic. Try it sometime for yourself. Just be sure to bring enough to share.


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[Assistant] Most of these traditions make sense. Food as a magical meal that traps or lures a victim into danger still fits the practical aspect of eating. And so to a degree does the concept of dining with the dead


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[Assistant] But one bit of folklore shifts food in a whole different direction. It acted as a fortune teller.


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[Assistant] Food was part of many rituals, including one that would reveal the identity of a person's future spouse. This ceremony was practiced all across the British Isles and the United States, although for the latter it mainly showed up in the rural South and Appalachia. It was called a Dumbsupper.


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[Assistant] Now sadly, when these events were created around the 16th century, the concept of ableist language was not yet understood. Dumb in this context meant silent, not stupid. But the word is problematic regardless of how it's used. They were called dumb suppers because they were meant to be carried out in complete silence.


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[Assistant] To make an event like this possible, people had to find a venue that was devoid of interruptions. Oftentimes, this would be an abandoned house or some other empty building where participants could gather without being disturbed.


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[Assistant] A good example was documented in a 1959 article in the journal Midwest Folklore. In it, a pair of teenage girls in Kentucky tried their hands at a dumb supper, and silence was only part of the recipe.


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[Assistant] And you can kind of think of these events as sort of a dinner party meets magical ritual. The moment someone spoke it all, just one syllable even, the whole thing would fall apart.


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[Assistant] According to that article, when everything was prepared exactly right, then at midnight the spirits of the husbands-to-be walk through the door or even arrive in person.


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[Assistant] Now, in America, preparing a dumb supper backwards was quite common, typically at Halloween, but methods varied elsewhere around the world. For example, in Britain, the meal was prepared with a single cake. It was known, unsurprisingly, as a dumb cake, and it could be served at Halloween, St. Agnes' Eve, Midsummer's Eve, or even Christmas Eve.


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[Assistant] The idea behind the single cake was similar to the supper, but instead of putting on a whole meal, it was scaled back quite a bit.


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[Assistant] Two young girls would fast the entire day in total silence, and if they succeeded, they would then start to make the cake. Each of them were responsible for adding ingredients, too. Like a team effort of sorts.


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[Assistant] In fact, every step of the process had to be carried out in equal measure by both of them, from mixing to baking and even removing it from the oven.


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[Assistant] Then it had to be cut into two identical halves, with each girl carrying it backwards to their bedrooms. Then they would eat the cake, and go to sleep.


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[Assistant] If they pulled it off successfully, the girls would dream that night of their future husbands.


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[Assistant] Now, in some places, it was believed that the future spouse did not appear in a dream. Instead, they showed up at the front door in the middle of the night. The other regions held that the object of one's affection would turn the cake over while it was still baking in the oven or carve their initials into its surface.


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[Assistant] These dumb cakes eventually proved so popular they even started attracting critics. Publications soon started to rail against them with claims that the fickle food was foolish and evil.


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[Assistant] Sadly, dumb cakes also prove deadly every now and then. If the people baking them were not careful about what they added into the mix. Three young servant girls in England back in 1813 made the grave mistake of including a poisonous plant when they made their dumb cake.


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[Assistant] We're not sure what led them to make such a terrible decision, but the reason doesn't really matter at this point. The girls ate the cake and not long after began screaming and retching in their beds. The owners of the estate where they worked ran to their rooms to see what was the matter and found the girls in excruciating pain.


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[Assistant] One died shortly after ingesting the cake, while the two others barely survived.


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[Assistant] Americans, on the other hand, didn't place much emphasis on the cake itself. To them, how the table was set made all the difference. But performing each task backwards was only half the equation. Some people were so committed to the act of preparing a dumb meal, a meal, mind you, that they would often never eat, that they did so with their arms behind their backs.


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[Assistant] Now, The Dumb Supper was not all about romance. Sure, a future partner or lover might appear in one's dream or even in a mirror's reflection, but that wasn't all that might be revealed after its completion. It could also give insight into one's death, and a great example of this use took place one night long ago in Missouri.


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[Assistant] According to the legend, two young women had prepared a dumb supper of their own to get a glimpse at their future spouses. They had met inside an abandoned house with everything they needed and worked to make sure that everything was just right.


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[Assistant] Hours later, at midnight, a terrible wind blew open the front door of the house. A man carrying a knife entered, followed by an empty coffin that seemed to move with the mind of its own.


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[Assistant] Suddenly the man dropped the knife, and so one of the girls picked it up and placed it inside the pocket of her apron. The mysterious man then sat beside her, while the coffin parked itself beside the other girl.


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[Assistant] And this vision seemed to have served as an omen of things to come. Several years later, the one who had been closest to the coffin died without ever marrying. And the woman who had picked up the knife eventually married the man who had dropped it.


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[Assistant] As the story goes, one day many months after their wedding, the woman was going through the trunk full of her old things when she happened across that knife. She presented it to her husband, who remembered the night he lost it. Without warning, he snatched it from her hand and then stabbed her in the throat and chest, killing her instantly.


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[Assistant] It's hard to deny the power of food. From life-giving sustenance to markers of significant events. It's been a companion to humanity since the dawn of time. So it's honestly no surprise at all that the things we eat have attracted some folklore of their own.


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[Assistant] Of course, the branches of stories that highlight food's flexibility the most is probably the fortune-telling aspect. And while England and America seems to have loved their backward meals and special cakes, folks in Ireland had a much more simple way of divining the future with food. All it took was an apple and a mirror.


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[Assistant] Here's how it worked. At midnight on Halloween, a young man or woman would peel an apple while looking at their reflection in the mirror, and sure enough, they would see their future spouse peering over their shoulder.


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[Assistant] It sounds innocent enough, right? Well, as you've probably guessed by now, this little custom did not always yield such fortunate results.


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[Assistant] According to one story, a young lady named McDonough, hoping to see her future husband, took an apple into a darkened room at the appointed time. She stood before the mirror inside and peeled the fruit, expecting to see the man that she would marry one day in its reflection. And she did.


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[Assistant] All was well until one day about two months later as McDonough was on her way home from town. She looked up and there he was, the man from the mirror, now standing before her. But the sight of him frightened her.


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[Assistant] Not him, exactly, but his arrival. It seems that the stories had been true. She had actually caught a glimpse of her future husband, and now here he was, as though fate had destined them to be together.


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[Assistant] The shock was enough to cause her to faint. She fell unconscious in the middle of the road and, as the legend goes, she never woke up. McDonough died three months later without so much as a hello from the man of her dreams.


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[Assistant] Another story out of Ireland involved two women named Peg and Etna. They wanted to see who they'd eventually marry, so they peeled an apple in front of a mirror. But their individual personalities played a role in what happened next.


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[Assistant] And as expected, the man's face soon appeared in the reflection, a face that was accompanied by wicked laughter.


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[Assistant] The next day when the owner of that face appeared on their doorstep, Peg didn't think twice and jumped into his arms. They decided they would get married immediately and then run away to start new lives together.


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[Assistant] That night, the man returned to their home and knocked on the door. Peg was still preparing for her big day, so Etna answered the door instead. She greeted him before pointing her gaze toward the floor. And that's when Etna noticed something odd.


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[Assistant] Etna quickly ran to her friend and told her what she had seen. And just like that, the wedding was off.


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[Assistant] But the damage of starting a relationship with the devil was already done because Peg's situation never truly recovered. She got sick soon after that night and then went on to lead a quiet, lonely life. And of course, she became a cautionary tale for other girls and boys looking to have some fun on Halloween night. It seems that if the legend is true, an apple a day won't keep the devil away.


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[Assistant] Food and folklore, they go together like peanut butter and chocolate, or arsenic and lace. Throughout history, cultures around the world have paired their favorite meals with specific rituals, cooking up some amazing stories in the process.


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[Assistant] But I haven't emptied the pantry just yet. I've got one more helping of folklore on the table that I think you're going to enjoy. Stick around through this brief sponsor break to hear all about it.


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[Assistant] Most folklore regarding food covers the what and the why. It explains the reason for eating that special food and prescribes the exact ingredients and dinner setting. But one avenue we haven't explored yet is where.


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[Assistant] According to one story there, once was a man from Louisiana named Pierre Antoine Jourdan. He wanted nothing more than a beautiful place to live in with his family, so he bought a house around 1788 that needed a lot of work, and slowly turned it into a home.


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[Assistant] This shell of a dwelling eventually became Jourdan's own palace and the one possession he valued above all others. Unfortunately, he also had a terrible gambling addiction and those urges were too strong to fight. He wound up losing his prized home in a poker game in 1814.


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[Assistant] Unwilling to part ways with his beloved house, Pierre instead took his own life within its walls. Over time, the building passed through numerous hands until 2001, when it became a restaurant named Muriel's Jackson Square.


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[Assistant] But Muriel's was no ordinary restaurant. The owners wanted to do something special with the second floor, the same floor where Pierre Jourdan had ended his life hundreds of years earlier.


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[Assistant] They turned it into a seance lounge. This room is lined with comfortable couches and bathed in a glow of atmospheric lighting. It's a place where visitors can feel a little closer to the restaurant's guest of honor, Mr. Pierre Jourdan himself.


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[Assistant] According to the venue's website, and I quote, patrons and employees of Muriel's have reported seeing the sudden shattering of glasses and objects moving around the room and hearing unidentified voices on the second floor.


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[Assistant] And while Pierre isn't the only spirit present at Muriel's, he's certainly the most famous. Those who have seen him have noticed a sparkling light floating around the lounge. Heck, he's such a celebrity there that he even has his own table, complete with a glass of wine and some bread, laid out fresh each night.


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[Assistant] As for the other ghosts, one has been known to occasionally throw glasses across the room. The reason is a mystery, but perhaps the spirit is upset they haven't been given the same red carpet treatment as Pierre.


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[Assistant] Over the years, paranormal investigators have noted female voices emanating from nowhere, even when no other people were around. And another common experience is the sound of knocking on the lounge's brick wall.


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[Assistant] It seems the restaurant is active, whether it's open for business or not.


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[Assistant] But despite the clear presence of restless spirits, one bit of good news is that no one has ever felt threatened at Muriel's. It's a similar situation to those cemetery picnics of old. It's just another way for the living and the dead to sit down and share a meal.


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[Assistant] Oh, and for the brave few of you who might be interested in dining with Pierre's ghost,


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[Assistant] This episode of Lore Legends was produced by me, Aaron Manke, with writing by me and Harry Marks, and research by Alex Robinson. Don't like hearing the ads? I've got a solution. There's a paid version of Lore on Apple Podcasts and Patreon that is 100% ad-free.


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[Assistant] Plus subscribers get weekly mini-episodes called Lore Bites. It's a bargain for all that ad-free storytelling and a great way to support this show and the team behind it.


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[Assistant] Lore is much more than just a podcast. There's the book series available in bookstores and online, and two seasons of the television show on Amazon Prime Video. Information about all of that and more is available over at lorepodcast.com.


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[Assistant] And you can also follow this show on threads, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. Just search for Lore Podcast, all one word, and then click that follow button. And when you do, say hi. I like it when people say hi. And as always, thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] There is a link between horror and sexuality that has persisted for generations. For example, in Brom Stoker's classic novel Dracula, Jonathan Harker is beset upon by three lustful women while staying in the Count's castle one night.


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[Assistant] In the book he says, there was something about them that made me uneasy, some longing, and at the same time, some deadly fear.


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[Assistant] He was attracted to them, but is clearly scared of engaging with them. He loves his fiance, Mina, back in England, and he possessed a palpable fear of embracing something frowned upon by the moral standards of the time.


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[Assistant] And in using words like uneasy, deadly, and fear, Stoker has planted a seed of doubt in the reader's mind, pairing sexuality with danger, that if they were to act on their urges, it might lead them down a path of pain and death.


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[Assistant] Throughout history, monsters have been used as cautionary tales to deter young people from engaging in ill-advised love affairs. Today, those monsters can be found in the form of vampires, werewolves, or in some cases, succubi.


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[Assistant] They're not often thought of as particularly attractive, what with their hairy legs and clusters of eyes, but spiders have a number of tricks up their eight sleeves to entice and deceive others.


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[Assistant] In Native American folklore, spiders are often portrayed as tricksters, such as Iktomo of the Sioux, Lakota, and Dakota tribes, or Vihu of the Cheyenne tribe. One moment, they can be clever anti-heroes that push against social boundaries, and the next, they can be quite violent, their stories meant to be taken as warnings.


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[Assistant] Among the most well-known folkloric spiders is Anansi, who originated in Ghana and became ubiquitous throughout West African, African American, and Caribbean cultures. Anansi, like the others mentioned before, is a trickster, but also a prolific storyteller.


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[Assistant] He doesn't just weave a pretty narrative like his intricate webs. He's known for his wit and wisdom, present in the stories he tells.


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[Assistant] But he doesn't always present himself as a spider. Sometimes he's portrayed as a man with eight legs, or a spider with a man's head, or occasionally as a man with spider-like features. He's something of a shapeshifter, another common trope among spiders of ancient lore.


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[Assistant] But few are more feared or frightening than that of the shapeshifting spider of Japan, Jorogumo.


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[Assistant] Jorogumo is a yokai, which is a class of legendary ghosts and monsters rooted in Japanese folklore. The first written accounts of the creature date back to the Edo period, though word of its exploits most likely existed in oral tradition even before that.


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[Assistant] The name Jorogumo originally translated to the unflattering moniker, Whorespider, but that was later altered to mean, Intangible Bride, which described not just its behavior, but its appearance as well.


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[Assistant] Jorogumo, like many mythological spiders, is said to be a shapeshifter and can change between a spider form and that of a beautiful enticing woman, or sometimes a blend of the two, with a woman's upper body and the legs of a giant spider.


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[Assistant] And what would an enticing bride eat? Well, young men, of course. Men in need of companionship. The Jorogumo catches its prey by donning the appearance of a young, attractive woman who lures a desperate hopeful to her lair where she entertains him with music.


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[Assistant] Although that's nothing more than a distraction. While he listens to her song, the Spider-Woman wraps him in silk and thread before injecting him with venom to weaken him. Once he's been completely entrapped, she devours his body, slowly, over a number of days.


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[Assistant] According to some tellings, the Jorogumo will get the man's attention by begging him to hold her bundled baby. Except it's not a baby at all, it's a giant sack of spider eggs. And as if that wasn't bad enough, this yokai is capable of controlling other, lesser spiders to do her bidding.


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[Assistant] All one needs to do to see if a woman is a Jorogumo is to place her in front of a mirror while she's in her human form. The reflection will reveal her true self.


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[Assistant] One particular story about a Jorogumo dates back to the 17th century. It tells of a young samurai who takes shelter in an abandoned building. He notices that it's full of spider webs, but doesn't think much of it, just that it must have been vacant for a long time. And then suddenly, a young woman appears, holding a small child.


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[Assistant] And she approaches him, insisting that he is the child's father. The samurai, however, having never seen the woman before in his life, refuses her and tells her that he is not the child's father. As she continues to press the issue, the child inches toward him, and the samurai grows impatient.


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[Assistant] He unsheathes his sword and slashes at the woman, sending her scrambling away.


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[Assistant] The following morning, the samurai explores more of the building only to stumble upon a hidden attic where he's staying. And it's there where he sees the impossible. A giant spider dying from a gaping wound across its back. Exactly like the one he had given to the strange woman the night before.


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[Assistant] Beside her is a stone grave marker for a child, and all around them, dangling from the ceiling, are the Jorogumo's victims, hanging from spider webs.


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[Assistant] It's no wonder that the Japanese use the name Jorogumo for a very real arachnid, too. The golden orb spider, which can grow large enough to actually eat small birds. It's been said that when a golden orb spider reaches the mythical age of 400 years old, it gains magical powers, along with a taste for human flesh. And that is how the Jorogumo of legend is said to be born.


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[Assistant] Far away from Spider-filled Japan is the Arctic, where one might think the only things to worry about are polar bears and frostbites. But the region is also home to numerous Inuit tribes who have passed down their own stories of creatures that use love for nefarious means.


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[Assistant] Yet one of those mythical beasts doesn't lure men or women to their deaths with promises of romance or illicit trysts. Her fate was born of love, which she had misplaced in two important people in her life.


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[Assistant] The tale of Sedna paints her as a beautiful young woman, one who has no shortage of suitors knocking down her door for a chance to be with her, but she has no interest in any of them. Until one day, when a hunter wearing fine furs and carrying a great big spear enters the village, he's clearly rich and can offer her a good life.


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[Assistant] He invites Sedna to join him on the open sea, where he will shower her with riches such as ivory and furs and lamps that never run out of oil. She accepts, and she leaves her father's home to accompany the stranger on his grand adventures.


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[Assistant] But quickly, she realizes that something is wrong. As soon as her homeland is out of sight, the winds change, and so does Sedna's new husband. His arms become monstrous wings and feathers sprout from his skin. She soon discovers that this hunter is no man at all, but a great bird spirit.


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[Assistant] He takes her back to a rocky island, the land of the birds. There are no jewels or fur waiting for her, only hard walrus skins for her to sleep on and a diet of raw fish. Her new home is icy and harsh with rough winds that cuts against her skin.


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[Assistant] Sedna panics and begins to call out to her father, hoping her voice will carry over the waves back to him.


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[Assistant] And miraculously her words reach him and he sets out in his kayak to bring his little girl home. In another version of the story, however, Sedna's father sets out on his own volition and comes to the land of the birds for a visit and finds her miserable, begging to go home.


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[Assistant] Either way, upon reaching the island, she boards his vessel, and the two sneak away, paddling far from the land of the birds.


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[Assistant] The other birds fill him in on what transpired while he was asleep, and he becomes furious. He flies over the water, beating his great wings and diving beneath the surface, kicking up waves. The sea gods know what Sedna did, and they are just as angry at her betrayal.


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[Assistant] Her father, terrified that the gods will kill him for helping her, does the only thing that he can think to do. He throws his daughter overboard. But she doesn't go easily. She clings to the boat and begs him to pull her back in. Afraid that she'll capsize the vessel and drown him, he pulls out a blade and cuts off her fingertips.


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[Assistant] They tumble into the sea and become the first seals. Still, Sedna refuses to let go, so her father keeps cutting, this time up to the first knuckle. As the segments of her flesh fall into the ocean, they become the first walruses, and her blood turns into a school of fish.


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[Assistant] Finally, as he cuts her one last time, she releases her grip and falls into the water herself.


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[Assistant] At night, she sends her seals and whales and walruses up to her former home and tell them to drag her father and her beloved dog back to her below the waves where they will live with her forever. And to this day, that's where all three of them live.


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[Assistant] Even today, fishermen believe that Sedna determines whether they will have a successful catch or not. Sometimes she can be generous, while other times she can be withholding.


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[Assistant] On days when the fish just aren't jumping, the shaman will visit Sedna in her underwater home using a kind of astral projection. He'll enter a trance and make the journey past her guard dog and her father, who have been given the job of greeting the dead.


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[Assistant] Once there, the shaman takes care of the things that Sedna cannot do for herself due to her lack of fingers. He will comb her hair, removing the crustaceans that have gotten lodged in her tangles. Finally, he'll wash her skin with sand. Only then will she grant the fisherman a bountiful catch.


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[Assistant] Sedna's story has been interpreted by anthropologists and scholars in a number of ways, such as an explanation for the loss of the warmer months represented by the goddess in her human form being taken over by the long harsh winters. The sea in this story.


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[Assistant] But it's also reminiscent of the plight of Persephone in Greek mythology, who becomes Hades' bride and straddles two worlds, her presence in either affecting the seasons above.


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[Assistant] Today, the Sedna myth has taken on new meaning due to climate change, and that our actions on this planet have very real and tragic consequences. Sedna's rage is not unlike the rage of Mother Earth against the people who would do her harm.


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[Assistant] But all of these analyses start with one foundation. That's of a dangerous, shape-shifting lover. It's no wonder that a dwarf planet discovered on the outer reaches of our solar system was named after her.


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[Assistant] Several tropes and cliches about artists have persisted over the years. There's of course the starving artist whose creativity is unburdened because he's not constrained by material needs, choosing to funnel whatever money he earns into his art.


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[Assistant] Or the artist who only feels inspired when on a controlled substance, playing into a commonly misunderstood quote misattributed to Ernest Hemingway that advises one to write drunk at it sober.


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[Assistant] But perhaps the most morbid belief is that many artists just don't live that long. In fact, they tend to get cut down right when they're in their prime.


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[Assistant] There's even a name for it, The 27 Club, which boasts members such as Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin, all of whom died when they were only 27 years old. It seems that in America, there's something about being an artist that makes one less likely to reach old age.


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[Assistant] But the thing is, Ireland's artists are no different.


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[Assistant] Luke Kelly, for example, was a founding member of the Irish folk group the Dubliners. He died of alcoholism and a brain tumor when he was only 42 years old. Author Oscar Wilde lived to be 46, passing away from meningitis in 1900.


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[Assistant] His brother Willie lived to be the same age and perished from alcoholism. And the novelist and playwright Gerald Griffin only made it to 36 when he died of typhus fever in June of 1840.


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[Assistant] But what's notable about all of these creatives is not that they died so young, nor that they passed away from heart attacks or freak accidents. It's that they wasted away, as if their life force had been slowly burned off. Maybe those were the cards they'd been dealt by fate, or maybe there's a supernatural explanation. One by the name of Lan and Shi.


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[Assistant] Lan and Shi translates to Fairy Sweethearts or Fairy Lover, and as with the other legends discussed earlier, this one also takes the form of a beautiful young woman, although occasionally it may also appear as a man.


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[Assistant] The Lannan she selects one mortal to be her beloved. And she has a type, too. Poets and musicians. When she finds one, she becomes the object of his obsession, and to everyone else, she is invisible. But the artist is suddenly filled with a fiery passion that fuels his inspiration.


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[Assistant] But that love and intensity comes at a cost. The poet's desire for the fairy lover is so strong it literally burns him up from the inside out. She doesn't just inspire him, she consumes him, feeding off of his life force.


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[Assistant] Others claim it's an unfortunate side effect of the human-fairy relationship, and that the Lan and Shi will often leave her lover when she begins to fear for his safety. Sadly, though, he's in too deep. His longing tends to do him in, regardless.


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[Assistant] It makes one wonder if something like writer's block was once thought of as an artist losing their Lan and Xi.


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[Assistant] Meanwhile, on the Isle of Man, a very similar creature has been written about for generations. It's spelled differently but pronounced the same. Lannan She, although this creature is far more dangerous than her Irish counterpart. Once she finds a lover, she clings to them until they expire, draining their life from them as she inspires their work.


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[Assistant] They say that if the artist shuns her advances, she must become his slave. But if he accepts, then he belongs to her, and the only way out is to find another to take his place. Suffice to say, that doesn't happen often, and the artist is eventually sapped of the vim and vigor that had kept him going.


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[Assistant] To the writer, musician, or poet, life is about creation. It's about bringing something new into the world to enrich others.


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[Assistant] Almost 20 years before Yeats' book, Fairy and Folk Tales of the Irish Peasantry, was published, another author by the name of John O'Hanlon wrote about the Lannan she in his own book, Irish Folklore. And she was even mentioned in the quarterly Journal of Science in 1872.


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[Assistant] But despite Yates' extensive writing about Lan and Xi, he wasn't actually the person to popularize the folklore. You see, in 1887, an Irish poet by the name of Speranza also wrote about the fairy sweetheart. Speranza was perhaps the first person to immortalize the being in print.


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[Assistant] Speranza not only conveyed the legend itself, but expanded its lore with the story of a great king who vanquished his foes in battle thanks to the valor and strength his Lan and Shi had bestowed upon him. After the war was over, the king went off to Spain where he lived in the lap of luxury for almost a decade. He even married the king of Spain's daughter.


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[Assistant] He eventually returned to Ireland, though, only to find his kingdom in shambles. Strange people were living in his castle and eating in his banquet hall and spending his kingdom's fortunes for their own gain while his people went hungry.


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[Assistant] His people hated him for leaving them, so when he finally tried to retake his throne, they refused to listen to him.


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[Assistant] Desperate, he turned to the Lan and Shi who had helped him the first time. She gave him the power to take back his kingdom, which he did, and he returned everything back to the way it was. But Speranza was not this poet's true name. It was a pen name.


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[Assistant] For as long as humans have been around, it seems we have been interested in the spirit world and romance, among our many passions as people. Knowing that there are whole worlds of folklore that combine the two is both eye-opening, and it makes perfect sense.


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[Assistant] Lucky for you, we have one more tale to share. Stick around through this brief sponsor break to hear all about it.


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[Assistant] Not all supernatural lovers are insidious. Some have been known to bring joy and contentment to those they are with, and perhaps none more so than Bessie Brown.


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[Assistant] This story appeared in a single newspaper article from October of 1900, and it was reprinted verbatim in newspapers all over North America, including Canada, which I think speaks to its popularity.


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[Assistant] Bessie Brown was a young Christian woman from a wealthy family in Oklahoma. She lived in the town of Cameron and was described as being possessed of many natural charms, one of which included her great beauty. Her neighbors thought quite highly of her too, believing her to be honest and truthful in all of her endeavors.


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[Assistant] Sometime around 1898, Bessie fell in love with a man named John Allen, and the two were quickly engaged to be married.


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[Assistant] Bessie, assuming that she and her husband-to-be would have a long, fruitful life together, made a playful vow that if he were to die before her, then she would marry his ghost instead.


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[Assistant] Two weeks before they tied the knot, that macabre joke came true.


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[Assistant] John Allen lost his life in a tragic railroad accident. Bessie was despondent, to the point where her parents called a doctor to check on her. They were worried that her grief was so intense, it would cause her to lose her mind. The good news, according to the doctor, was that Bessie's mind was safe, but her physical health was flagging.


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[Assistant] Once again, her parents got involved, assuming the worst. In fact, they started to think that she was taking drugs. But as it turned out, the only thing she was high on was love.


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[Assistant] Days after her miraculous turnaround, Bessie confessed to her parents the reason for her abrupt change of mind. John Allen's ghost had appeared to her, and that meant that she could finally honor her promise to him.


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[Assistant] She was going to marry his spirit, and the couple would finally be together.


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[Assistant] As you can probably assume, this did not alleviate her parents' suspicions. Her mother sent her to a specialist to examine her brain. Not only did he give her a clean bill of health, but he suggested that her story was so strange, she must have actually seen the ghost of her lost love.


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[Assistant] Bessie assured her parents that while they couldn't see John, he was always there with her. And it didn't matter what they thought anyway. She was going to marry him no matter what. A short time later, she rented a five-room cottage where she and her betrothed would live. Well, live might not be the right word. Cohabitate, maybe?


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[Assistant] She then called the family minister and asked him to perform the ceremony.


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[Assistant] As you might imagine, being a man of God, he refused, claiming that to do such a thing would be a sin. But somehow, over time, Bessie was able to convince him, and in early October of 1900, she and the minister met at midnight in the cemetery where John Allen had been buried.


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[Assistant] And the pair were wed, two years after their original engagement. Bessie moved into the cottage, and ever since, witnesses claim to hear the two talking, laughing, and sharing their life together as if John were still alive.


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[Assistant] People in town would often see Bessie talking to someone beside her that only she could see.


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[Assistant] Because she was so beloved by her friends and neighbors, they just assumed that her husband must really be there. Her parents, on the other hand, were less approving. According to a quote given by her father, we are trying to do everything we can to make her forget her ghost, but it seems as if we are going to fail.


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[Assistant] This episode of Lore Legends was produced by me, Aaron Manke, the writing by Harry Marks, and research by Jenna Rose Nethercott. Lore is much more than just a podcast. There's a book series available in bookstores and online, and two seasons of the television show on Amazon Prime Video. Check them both out if you want more lore in your life.


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[Assistant] Information about all of that and more is available over at LorePodcast.com.


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[Assistant] And you can follow this show on YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Just search for Lore Podcast, all one word, and then click that follow button. And when you do say hi, I like it when people say hi. Then as always, thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] Just a few weeks ago, England did something that it hasn't done for a very long time. They crowned a new monarch. And with it happening in our modern world, with social media, online video platforms like this, and major cable news networks, there's a good chance that you watched it happen. Or at least saw a video clip, or a few photos from the coronation ceremony.


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[Assistant] One thing that I absolutely love about this moment is the place where it took place. If you've never visited Westminster Abbey, it's a destination that you need to keep on your bucket list, if only for the splendor of being inside it. And while there's a lot to take in up above your head, one of the things that most people notice when they visit the place is what sits below their feet. Graves.


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[Assistant] Not just a few, either. No, there are currently 3,000 people buried inside the walls of that church. And there's a reason for that. It seems that for a very long time, there was a belief that being inside meant that you were closer to God and closer to the prayers of people every day.


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[Assistant] Prayers that could help their soul move from purgatory to heaven a lot faster than normal.


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[Assistant] And that idea of being buried closer to God is also why churches have their own graveyards. Of course, if you've ever been to England or Europe, you know how romantic those church-centered burial grounds can be. Crooked stones lined up like geriatric teeth, covered in lichen and water stains.


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[Assistant] But even there, outside the walls of the church building, there were rules about distance and location.


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[Assistant] The good folks, and please notice the massive air quotes I gave it there, were often allowed burial spots closer to the physical church than those who lived on the margins of life. And often it was a corner far off in the edge of the graveyard where criminals would be laid to rest.


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[Assistant] So I think you get the idea. The more famous, the more moral, or the more wealthy a person was, the closer to God they were allowed to rest.


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[Assistant] We want to be closer to the sacred. Wherever we find holy sites, there's usually a history of human burial there.


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[Assistant] Some even predate the arrival of Christianity, focusing instead on proximity to a sacred object, like a standing stone or an ancient tree.


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[Assistant] Whatever the reasons behind these burials, they emphasize the obvious. We have a history with holy places.


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[Assistant] And that history extends well beyond the confines of the grave.


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[Assistant] It's one of those words that immediately conjures up imagery. Even if we start with its oldest form, way back to Latin, it wouldn't take long for you to connect with it.


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[Assistant] Let's start with sanctus, a word that meant holy. It's the trunk of a pretty big linguistic tree. But one of the branches early on was a word sanctuarium, which literally meant a sacred place or a shrine. And if you know anything about the world of the ancient Greeks, there was no shortage of sacred places and shrines.


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[Assistant] Maybe because of that, the Greeks sort of set the template for the idea of what we would call sanctuary. In basic terms, anyone who needed a safe place to go, whether they were running from their enemies or from the law, could step inside a temple and be granted sanctuary.


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[Assistant] In most cases, people had to leave their weapons outside, and the people pursuing them were not allowed to step inside and drag them out. If that rule was violated, bad things could happen, usually at the hands of the god who was worshipped at that particular temple.


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[Assistant] And we have some great examples from antiquity. Most people today have heard of the Trojan War, but we often forget a lot of the finer details. Cassandra was the princess of the city of Troy, the daughter of King Priam, and she was also a prophet thanks to a divine gift from the god Apollo.


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[Assistant] Now, there was a twist though. She could see the future, but no one would ever believe her. So when she predicted that whole Trojan horse trick thing, everyone laughed at her. Until that is the Greeks took over the city. And Cassandra, knowing what would happen, made a beeline for the Temple of Athena, where she took sanctuary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the Greeks, a guy named Ajax the Lesser, decided that the Covenant of Sanctuary wasn't important to him though, and he went inside and he dragged her out. The rest of the Greeks, including Odysseus, quoted Han Solo and said, I've got a bad feeling about this, expecting Athena's wrath to destroy all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Ajax turned the tables and he returned to the Temple of Athena for some sanctuary of his own, which had somehow now become important to him again. And then he later escaped by ship. And that's what had happened. For violating Cassandra's sanctuary, Athena sunk his ship and killed him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then there's the story of Cylon of Athens, a political traitor who tried to organize a coup in 632 BC. When his attempt to overthrow the government failed, Cylon and his fellow insurrectionists tried to hide out in the Temple of Athena. But they didn't plan well for their stay there, and nobody brought any food, so they began to starve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not wanting their deaths to take place inside the sacred space of the temple, the authorities finally agreed to let them leave and head to trial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the criminals were still a little worried about how the rest of the city might treat them, so they tied a super long rope to the statue of Athena, and then they all walked out still holding onto it, like grade school kids trying to bend the rules. How did it end?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, someone snuck up behind them and cut the rope, disconnecting them from sanctuary, and then the people of Athens slaughtered them. Their bodies were buried in a mass grave and lost to time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now over the centuries, the Greeks kept refining the rules of sanctuary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It became pretty clear that clever people were taking advantage of this religious system, so more and more limitations were added on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when the Romans arrived on the scene, they did even more editing to the concept. Under Roman law, sanctuary became a temporary state, not a permanent one. And the list of offenders who could seek sanctuary inside a temple got smaller. Specifically, murderers, adulterers, and debtors were no longer safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which probably saved those temples a lot of time, if we're honest. Oh, and as the cult of the emperor grew in Rome, statues and temples in honor of them also became divine places of safety.