[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's still in Europe. I think they have a lot of them like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you mentioned bidets, they're finally starting to take off in America apparently. Six percent of people already have bidets in their bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good Christmas gift. Thousand bucks. Thousand bucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, people are switching to bidets because they say it's more hygienic and it cuts down on total paper cost and just helps the environment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I can't think of a good segway, but, uh, Nate, you wanna tell us about Aura?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, Harmonych Hotel men's bathroom was named the best restroom in America in 2009.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, and then the national zoo men and women's bathroom were named best bathroom in America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then the womens, it's a, uh, six-cottontop tamarins, whatever that is. Uh, critically endangered primate species.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, 75% people admit using their phones in the bathroom. I think that's low. Oh, admit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, busiest day of the year for plumbers. I mentioned this before, day after Thanksgiving. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do they? Yeah, they do. But the number one reason is not even that it's, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Food and chicken grease and our turkey grease has been put clogged down the garbage disposal. That's the number one reason plumbers are coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, only 80% of people wash their hands after using the toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That seems high, right? 30% say, uh, only 30% use soap and only 5% wash for the recommended 15 seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Supposedly that's, uh, famous because people in outhouses would hang it up for reading purposes or use it for toilet paper and they just, they started nailing it to the wall so now the farmer's almanac just puts the hole in it so you don't have to nail it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's why I was asking Dusty, cause he's the only person I know to get a farmer's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, anybody have an opinion on the correct way to hang toilet paper?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's this? Renard's kind of catch for it. Renard Hirsch's catch for it. What the? He says that. He said he got it from episode of Mama's Family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it says 75% over, to me that seems low. I don't know anybody that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Likes it under, but Anne Landers who's a vice columnist said do it under and she got more, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the under position argument. They enjoy their life more. The under position argument is it's more tidy. Uh, it looks better than the over that way. Reduce the risk of a toddler or a pet, like a cat unrolling the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever give it milk? No. Do you have two bowls? Or do they share a bowl?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it did end up being, I should have known 100% toilet pretty much, but that's the fun stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone's very happy about it. They're very excited that you're taking some time off. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been wanting to come and hang out with you guys for a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's hilarious. And a good hang. That's very important to me. Is, I have to feel comfortable around you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we spend way too much time together to not enjoy each other's company. And it has to be someone that you trust.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think uhm, I loved that you were married and so you wouldn't be like hoeing out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually did not get hit on a lot. It's different for girls. Like, I think it's like intimidating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, a guy doesn't look at a girl in a position of power and be like, oh, let me try a hit on her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not really a thing, you know? I think if after the show, if I hung out at the bar and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if I could ever go back to some of my old


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mhm. I just had an email earlier. They were asking about like, uh, oh yeah, when her exclusive rights to YouTube are done and then we'll put it up on our channel talking about like the next steps after this special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I get to decide how long I want it on my channel only? Cause typically there's like a boss that I go like, Hey, how long?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When's the contract up? And I can put it on other places. So I'm like, oh, when is the contract? I don't know. Who do I ask?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's funny because with that joke, like the nail salon was so, everybody wanted it. And especially during those like first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now it's almost like, uhm, nostalgic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? So now when I present it in my show, I present it kind of like a thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, hey, thanks for riding with me for so long. Like, I know a lot of you know of me because of this bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That piece that I like say for the end, like we just experienced a whole hour of like new material, nothing you've ever heard before. And then you know what? Thank you. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go. And then as, as soon as I even mention it, it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There would be times after the shows like meet and greet at merch when I used to go out to the merch table and say hi to everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoever I was working with as a road manager at the time, we tried to explain like, okay, we need stanchions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To like organize this and like keep people back. And they're like, we got it. We do this every weekend. We got it. And we're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. And then sure enough, it's just like madness and they're trying to like problem solve where we're like, this is why we told you and then fix it for the next day. But it's like, it was a lot of that, that we don't like, they were like, we got this girls cause it was like all girls coming in, me and a female road manager. And they're like, you're cute. We, we got it. And they're like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no one's prepared for that. And, and just, you know, people trying to take advantage at the same time because I'm so new, I'm a girl. And, you know, especially with like at the time it would be like a sellout bonus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had no idea how the business end of things worked in like, for those listening, like if you sell up to a certain point,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you get a bonus and then if you sell up to the next, you know, mark, then you get another bonus, right? You have to sell at least like, let's just say 500 tickets and you get your first bonus, right? I remember being at a comedy club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were going through the numbers at the end and let's say it was 500 and he was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not realizing anything, like I'm just like, you know, following the rules is how it works. And then I remember being at New Faces that year and sitting with Fluffy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, just talking to him about like business, cause again, I was just starting to like, people were starting to know about me and like what I was doing on the road and stuff. And I was telling him that and he goes, so why don't you just buy your extra tickets? And I'm like, what do you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, you're six tickets away from a sellout, just buy your six tickets. And I go, I could do that? And he's like, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make sure the manager sees you counting. I want him to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That we're, we're doing like, watch us watch you is what it was. Then we started getting a real like, okay, what do, this is what I got. What'd you get?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The nail salon video, I had been doing stand-up comedy for four months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It starts going viral and I remember


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, this is MySpace days, so my MySpace page is blowing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I had a cousin call me in San Jose and she was like, hey, there's this video going around at work and, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My coworker sent it to me and it's you doing the nail salon joke, but they didn't send it to me because like, oh look, here's your cousin. They were, it was just being passed around. They didn't even know I know you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was like the first time that I remember being like, Oh, that's weird. Hmm. That's interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was replying to all the messages that I got on Myspace and these were like thousands of messages that were coming through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so there's no like etiquette or anything. So I'm just like replying to every single person who sent me a message. And then I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, I can't keep up. Let me copy paste. Like, thank you so much for the support. Copy paste, copy paste. Like, I was just saying that to everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, and I was trying to be an actor. I wasn't even trying to be a comedian. I was trying to be an actress. And I was like, oh, I'll just, you know, do this thing for fun. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I started getting messages from network executive assistants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they would send me a message on Myspace and be like, Hey, I'm the assistant to so and so at CBS, at Fox, at all these networks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they would like to meet with you. They saw your nails, somebody like to meet with you. And then I would come into these meetings and they're having me cold read for pilots. And I'm, I'm like not prepared for any of this that's happening. Like I have meetings. I'm like, I had to buy a calendar. Like I didn't know what was happening and completely overwhelmed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No agent to like organize any of this. I'm just showing up green to sitting in a network executives office and have no idea what I'm doing. And they're like, here's a script. Why don't you read that? And it's for like a CW pilot. And I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, sure. I don't know to say anything like, oh, can I step out for a minute and like run it a couple times? Like, I just like get this paper in front of the guy who says, yes, you're on a TV show for the rest of your life. And I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was a whole whirlwind of like what is happening in my life and I remember having a conversation with my sister and keep in mind too like this is, you know, 2007. I had just, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was the beginning of coming out of a season of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No jobs. No money. I was on unemployment. My unemployment checks had run out. I had like nothing going for me. No auditions. I had been an extra. I had been a stand-in. I got like a couple commercials, but like that was it. And I was like in this super dry spell and it was kind of like, okay, I think I have to go home because I don't have money to pay my rent. I don't have anything. My sister would send me money to pay my rent. She would send me gift certificates to the grocery store. Like family members would help out, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But my sister was really the only one that was like, don't come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stay. Do, chase your dreams, like don't just keep trying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so everything in my life is like, no, sorry, you tried, give it up. Then this YouTube video pops off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then this MySpace page started blowing up. Then all of a sudden I'm getting meetings, CBS box. All of a sudden I get a new agent. All of a sudden I get a manager. All of a sudden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All this stuff's happening for me and then that was January and then by February I got a new agent and then by like March, April I auditioned for MADtv.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then by May I booked it and then I was like, well, I better start writing more jokes because people keep asking me when am I coming to perform there. So then I start writing as much material as I possibly can. So by the end of the summer, I'm now touring as a headliner. And now when I started headlining, there was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so by the end of the year, my life had completely changed from January 2007, where I had nothing going for me, but all of a sudden this YouTube video just pops off, to the end of the year where I'm on MADtv, I'm touring as a headliner, uhm, and my life had completely changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tom Rhodes was the first person I opened for and god bless him, he was such a gentleman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So help like was not prideful in the least bit. I didn't know what I was doing, but they sent me to go do radio with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I didn't know that that's like the headliner does radio, not the opener.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To a headliner, I'm just like, I'm doing what I was told to do, this is my first time opening for anyone, like the comedy club manager told me to do this, so here I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was him first and he was so just lovely and kind and generous and I love him to this day, Tom Rhodes. And then my second time was Al Madrigal and that was at the Brea Improv and uhm, love Al.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, my last time was Steve Trevino in Houston.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was the last time that I featured for anybody because I was selling tickets. So it was like, whoa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just give her her own weekend then and that's how that started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hate me even more now? No. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I vaguely remember negotiating, uh, intermission out of a contract before. Like it's vaguely signing from there, like what? No, I'm not doing an intermission. Like they just warmed up the crowd. Now I gotta warm them up again? No way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what, uh, speaking of giving yourself a beat, I remember I would always watch Nate and I would be so envious and also nervous because he would sit in those silent moments and I'm like, I can't breathe, I can't breathe for you!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he just keeps going, like didn't even like phase it. I'd be like, Oh my God, how do you sit in that silence?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you take a purposeful beat and I'm like, ah, I'm nervous. I couldn't, I couldn't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a joke in your act right now that you get so excited, like you can't wait for this bit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, when viral on YouTube, was originally intended to be a comedy clip for Verizon Wireless cell phones, where you could download comedy for $1.99. They were gonna charge people $1.99 to download that comedy clip onto their flip phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then YouTube came out. They're like, well, we can't charge people now that this thing's doing it for free. So they just uploaded all those videos to YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How old are you, is she gonna be when you allow her to like actually have a phone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. My nephew has a watch like that and he can call or text people from the watch only three numbers. So it's like his mom is dad and then my mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I have something specific from like pretty much every fast food place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, there's a thing, I don't really like McDonald's, but chicken nuggets, that's the only thing I eat from McDonald's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's good. It tastes all chemically and what not. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I love Chick-fil-A, I love Jack in the Box, two tacos, um, curly fries, I love In-N-Out. Do you guys, there's no In-N-Out here? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, for your newer fans, can you explain the Hey Bear thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, just Adele's, the restaurant downtown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, let me, I'm just gonna go with a little more mashed potatoes, just one more scoop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, not even when the scene's over, just in the midst of it. It was a lot of improvising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and they warned me ahead of time, they're like, okay, here's a script, but just so you know, Eddie's gonna improvise. And I'm like, cool, fun, let's do that. Well, the thing is, with my role, I didn't have very many written lines. If you watch the movie,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not in it that much. Most of the lines that I had aren't in it anymore. So it's like, I'm pretty much like a featured extra in the movie, but it's fine. I was there and it was great. And the check cleared, so it's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really just Eddie Murphy and Tracee Ellis Ross, they have the lines and then like Ken Marino who's hysterical, he had a line, but they would mic up all of us and they'd be like, just find a window, just get in there, just say something, right? I was like, listen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was so nervous, I was so like, nervous, intimidated, but also like, knowing my place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it wasn't really a matter of like, just get in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a little bit of know your place type of vibe and I'm like, I don't even feel right trying to jump in on their written dialogue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if they start improvising, I don't know. And then the guy who plays my husband, bless him. There was one scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where, uh, we didn't have a line, but again, they mic us just in case we find a window to say something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Eddie and Tracy, they're saying their lines and all of a sudden he yells out something. Okay, this is a scene where, um, they're making the announcement that the grand prize was a hundred thousand dollars in Tony's tacos, um, gift certificates, right? This is for Christmas. And Eddie says something like, tacos aren't for Christmas or something, something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all of a sudden Eddie and Tracy go...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and, and then they yell cut and it's like a little bit awkward moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he turns around to like Eddie and Tracy and the people that play their kids and he just goes, I was trying to shoot my shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well here's the thing, even if it was just, I never went to dinner with him, never met him before this moment, but it was at least a written scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where he says something, then I say something, and then we're just gonna make up stuff going back and forth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, I'm not even supposed to be here. You know what I mean? Like, they just put me a mic on just in case, but I feel like it would be different if I had a line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I was there for like, I think three weeks, maybe? And then there was bad weather and they had to reschedule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, it was one scene that I actually had written lines for. And so of course I'm already thinking about like, how can I improvise in this scene? Cause I know I have lines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna play it like this, and I'm already thinking of like ways that I could like, I'll try it this way, I'll try it that way, next take, whatever. And then it started pouring rain, it's outdoor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they had to reschedule and they kept rescheduling, rescheduling, rescheduling. And by the time they rescheduled, I was already in New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Filming, uh, episode of Amy Schumer's show, Life and Beth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's fun. Light action, silliness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, well, this nail salon video blew up my spot. And then next thing you know, I got a new manager and an agent and they got me an audition for MadTV. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three original characters and three celebrity impressions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I can do accents, but not celebrity impressions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what I did was I took that joke writing class at the church, the free class, and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I took some of the jokes that I wrote in that class like, oh, I do this joke about my grandpa. I'm going to make it my grandma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I did that with like a few of my jokes, and one of them was Bon Kwee Kwee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, this is my sister, she wants to be a rapper. And then I turned into Bon Queique.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And for celebrity impressions, I've never done that before, but I went on YouTube and I was like, okay, who are three Latinas who are famous that I could possibly play on a sketch show? Yeah. Jennifer Lopez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Rosalind Sanchez, and then at the time, this is when Paula Abdul was the judge on American Idol.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And watched videos of them. And so I watched Jennifer Lopez on the red carpet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so uhm, I copied one of her interviews and I said, this is Jennifer Lopez on the red carpet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any question that the producers and casting directors asked me, I answered the same way. I just laughed and waved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any question they asked me, I would just say the same thing. I would laugh and I would wave and I'd say, hi Philly, who are you wearing tonight? Nervous laugh, hi Philly, whatever. They thought it was hilarious that I made this, this choice to have Jennifer Lopez answer the same question the same like way, like that was a choice. It was really just the only thing that I could do with Jennifer Lopez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I did the same thing with each other one, like I could do her drunk clap and then so I just BSed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the other people that were auditioning, you know, they've been in groundlings and, and there have been year after year going to study sketch comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they've been working up to this point and they need this. Where for me, I was like, I'll try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what do I gotta do? Okay, impressions? Okay, let me go steady. Let me go do that. Like, so I had kind of a, an air of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I definitely, like, I approached it with, you know, seriousness, but I didn't have the, oh, I need this, please, like, I can't mess this up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One season pretty much. And even in that season, it was a writer's strike and then we just came out of a writer's strike. And the one that happened before that was in 2007 and that's when I was on mad TV. So after the strike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ended, there were budget cuts, and by budget cuts I mean me. I was cut from the show. And that was it. So I really only did four episodes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that was, so the nail salon blew up my spot. And then just as that was like trickling down a little bit, which didn't really trickle down because it still was crazy, but it started like slowing down. People knew of it already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I was like, oh my gosh, what do I do next? And all of a sudden this one quickly sketched. Now that blows up. And it was like, I couldn't even have planned that. That was just, it did what it did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, nobody expected that bong kwe kwe sketch to blow up like it did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially Fox, they wouldn't have let go of me if they knew that that was gonna blow up like it did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I came back in their final season, I think it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I disagree. Like I would say like Stuart is like a fan favorite. Ms. Swan because they've been on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] YouTube wasn't around when Stuart was blown up. So I think Stuart would have popped off, but everybody already knew of it, so his sketch is not gonna go viral on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this was a new character, a new funny thing, a new funny pla- a new platform, so it was just like perfect timing for it to blow up. So I was like, I feel like it was really Stewart or Ms. Swan or one of those would have been a fan favorite, but they named Bunk Weekly fan favorite, which again, I'm honored and I'm grateful. Uhm, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been told that by my team many times before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm the biggest thing ever and all of a sudden be like, wait, who?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you allow your daughter to be in the entertainment industry? She's like, I want to be an actress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has she ever brought that up to you, like wanting to be in this industry?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever accidentally posted your personal information? You don't do a lot of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yes, I have accidentally done that before. Uhm, like, mail with my address on it. Oh yea. Uhm, now I'm very, I have to check my husband's page is what it is. Yea. Because he'll just be flippantly out there in front of the house just with the address on the phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yes, somebody did get my phone number one time and I don't respond to people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That just leave me like a hi or something like that from a number I don't know. I'm like, what? No, spam. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and a lot of times I don't respond to if it's not programmed in my phone because I don't delete anybody's phone number. So if I don't have you programmed, then I for real don't know you unless you got any numbers. So if you're texting me, then you have to lead with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's me, I got a new number. Otherwise, you're not gonna get a response from me. Anyways, this person messaged me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How you been? I don't respond to that. I don't know you. You're not programmed. Months later that same number texts me again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another similar how you been type of thing. I'm like, I'm not responding to this person. Uh, and then like a couple months later was very specific and was like, Angela.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I loved your new special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, this feels a little more specific, so I reply and I go, I didn't program this number, who is this? And then they're like, you don't remember me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We met at such and such party. I don't go to a lot of parties. Yeah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I already know you're lying now. Cause I'm like, no, we didn't. I would have never given you my phone number, first of all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm like, oh hell no, I for sure don't know this. And then it's like delete, block, all the things. But I took the number and my friend had some sort of like software that is very like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] FBI type software, whatever, and did like a reverse search on that. Well, they started saying their name versus they were Googling their name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were for sure using this fake name and it was like a porn star or somebody. I'm like, that's not who's really texting me. This person is not somebody who's pretending to be that person. And they reversed the number and it went to some rando.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was just one of those moments of like scary, like somebody got a hold of my information and for months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's interesting about that is my name is spelled so uniquely, right? So if I ever am like, I wonder if this is still so-and-so's number and I'm like, hey, Janelle, is this still your number?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to say it's me, Angela, because of the way my name is spelled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because then if it's not their number and then somebody like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I'll just put like, Ange or something. Yeah. Hey, it's me, Ange. Ange J. At least that is a little like, something. Like, there's a little hint of who I am. Is this you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I loved both Saturday Night Live and MadTV because I loved Stuart and Ms. Swan, those characters that I mentioned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeah, I love them both. I didn't have like, I was never team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, rivalry. Like, team Saturday Night Live, or like, people who are mad TV fans are not Saturday Night Live. I was never that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I loved In Living Color. Oh, I definitely loved In Living Color. How about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Legend, like Jim Carrey, Jamie Foxx, like, yes, younger. I mean, Jennifer Lopez started as, you know, one of the fly girls in Living Color was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to be a fly girl for Halloween. And I really, I was just wearing like spandex with like a glittery headband and like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was... Neverland Ranch? Yes. I went to Neverland Ranch. For his birthday party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, this is a wild, wild story. I must start from the beginning. I had just moved to Hollywood. I was a cheerleader for the Oakland Raiders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I, I had an inn to get in places, right? It was just like my one little card I could flash. Anyway, so one of my girlfriends was in a music video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the artist that she was in the video for was throwing a concert. And so we went to the concert and we were backstage. We were total groupies. I was full on groupie mode. So we're backstage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, there's a guy there. We meet him and he's like, yeah, I'm a producer. And I had remembered, a friend told me, if you ever meet somebody in Hollywood, they say they're a producer. It's a big fat lie. Don't even, everybody says they're a producer. Don't even fall for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're like, if they're, they say, give me your information, our producer, don't do it. And I'm like, okay, noted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then so I meet this guy and he's like, uhm, you know, are you guys dancers? And we're like, yep, we're all dancers. Cause I mean, we were, but it was just like, yeah, we're dancers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, okay, well I'm throwing a birthday party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I need some go-go dancers at this party. Let me get your information. I'm a producer. I'm producing this live event. Let me get your information. I was like, yeah, sure. So I give him my phone number and like, okay, cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, he calls me, like a few days later, and he is like, hey, so I need six girls. He didn't say girls. Okay, nevermind. He said I need six dancers. And it's for our birthday party, and it's next weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, can you get me six dancers? I was like, yeah, I got you. And he's like, okay, cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Okay. Sure. I get six dancers. Got you. I hang with the phone. Now that I know it's Michael Jackson's house, I did not try to get six dancers. I called six of my friends and was like, do you want to be a go-go dancer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and I didn't even call girls. I called my homies. I was like, I called Chuck. Chuck is a real dancer. Harry is a real dancer. Harry Shum, who's actually a very famous actor now and like has blown up like crazy. But, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we were all dancers who do commercials and like music videos and stuff like that. And so I called it, I'm like Chuck, you want to go Michael Jackson's house? Harry, you want to go Michael Jackson's house? I call my friend DJ NGV. She's not even professionally dancing. She's just like good at dance. I'm like, girl, you want to go Michael Jackson's house? I just call my friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we went to the radio station and there was a charter bus at the radio station, uhm, I think it was like Kiss of M or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we load into this charter bus and they drive us out to Neverland Ranch and we get there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, you can't bring in cameras or anything. This is before cell phone cameras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so like you can't bring cameras or anything like that. Leave all your stuff in the car. So we, in the bus. So we get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's like the archway, these gates and you go through and the first thing you see is a train stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're waiting in the train depot. This is on Neverland Ranch. While you're waiting in this little train depot, they have like ice cream and like goodies. So like you get an ice cream and then you hop on this little train and the train takes you all the way to Neverland Ranch, right? So you're just eating your ice cream on a train going to Neverland Ranch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. It's like a huge property. And so like you see, and then you see Michael Jackson's house is like right there. Like, whoa, that's his house. Like right there. And then right behind it was his kid's playhouse, which is like a house that's like equally as big, but it's just the playhouse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we go to the ranch, we go see the, the games, there's, there's like a, uhm, just like when you go to an amusement park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have rides, the Ferris wheel, they had a movie theater, like a full movie theater with concession stand and everything. And I remember going into this movie theater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all the concession was free. So they gave me like this big bucket for popcorn, but filled it up with like king size candies of everything. You really were like a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's very interesting. Uhm, anyway, they have this big huge tent out there, like an event tent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you go in, they have a DJ, and uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had go-go dancers that were dancing on the boxes and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we walk in and the guy who booked us, he goes, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess they already booked dancers. Well, just enjoy yourselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we didn't even dance or anything. We literally were just at Michael Jackson's birthday party, just walking around. And I remember at one point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was their security guards at like every corner and, um, there was this like group of people that started congregating around this one area. And so I go up to the security guard and I'm like, what's happening over here? And he goes, just stand by me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, what? He goes, just stand by me. I'm like, okay. And I go, Angie, come here. And she's like, what? I'm like, just stand by me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, what's going on? I'm like, I don't know, but something's about to go down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're standing by the security guard. There's a bunch of people congregating all of a sudden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had pictures from Michael Jackson's birthday party and it was like a daytime event at the thing and there was all kinds of celebrities that were there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think he did like a thank you, everybody saying happy birthday, and he did like a thank you guys for coming, have fun, blah blah blah, and that was it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think that's it. That looks like at a charity event or something. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have never even thought to google images from that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't ever crack it because there's so many details. Like I gave you the abridged version. There's so many details to this story that make you go like, no way. Like, and then this led to this and no way. And then this, oh my gosh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then if I cut the fat, you don't really get like how big this moment was and everything. And so it didn't work and I was like, I'm going to save this for a book one day. And so I, when I wrote my book, I added it in there. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Santa Barbara. I think Santa Barbara. I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate, how did it feel saying the slogan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, the, uh, the live. I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool though. I would have been so nervous. I'd be like, oh my god, this is the one part I cannot mess up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I was like, hold on. Time check, please.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you'll be on tour. My hour special on YouTube is called Say I Won't. Check that out. Share with all your friends. And you're on the road. I'm on the road. So come see me. Go to my website, Angela.com and come see me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this Colonel Remy van Leerd, he was a Belgian pilot and fighter ace, fought in World War II.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Broke the soundbar. He's kinda like our version of Chuck Yeager. Very well respected guy. He said he was flying over the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate tells me that a lot. He says, you're difficult to be with. Yeah, no. And like Bates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great, what's the return? He doesn't know what a unit means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's before, all I know is that it's before a company goes public on the stock market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those super wealthy people can get an early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give, give some, give some funding early. Get in, get in ground level. A lot of that happened in Silicon Valley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like we're, it's the hypothetical we're struggling and then some big person comes in and is like, I'm going to give you a million bucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I want is a, yeah, what I want is a Nate land company, penny stock. That's what I want. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did. Yeah. You can make a ton of money on penny stocks if you're, if you know, if you know what you're doing, which I don't, but yeah, cause they're, they're tiny. They're, they're, you know, under small under a hundred million dollar companies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the whole bet is if somebody gives you a hard time about your horoscope, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say, Oh, you can remember an evil historical figure for all 12 horoscopes and then you can call it out for them. Yeah. So if you give me guff for being Scorpio, I can be like, Oh, Taurus, that's a good one. Hitler is a Taurus. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I, and then I go through the crowd and ask people what their signs are. Yeah, it's very fun. Yeah. I like that. Uh, yeah, it's good. Hitler, uh, Bernie Madoff and Saddam Hussein. All right. All Taurus. A lot of power. A lot of power in the Taurus. It is a lot of power. Yeah. Very authoritarian. Yeah. Yeah. It's known for being a bull headed sign. Is he stubborn?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scorpio we share. Between the two of us. I believe it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Known for being, uh, ambitious. That's me. Machiavellian. Oh yeah. And Charles Manson is a Scorpio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ares. Ares, I believe, is... I'm not remembering Ares. It must be a good sign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I believe Aries is Kim Jong Un's dad. But I'll have to double check.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, yeaah, I know that there's Kim Jong Un, his dad, and his grandpa were, were the bang dudes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But have you heard the story of his golf score? He went out on a golf course with 11 security guards, his first time ever playing golf. And after 18 holes, he said he shot a 26, which is like 12 hole in ones and six.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 26, which is about 32 strokes better than any other score in the history of golf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think you ever played again either. I think you played once. Well, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I calculated if I headlined 40 club weeks, if I've headlined 40 club weeks, I would perform for 10,000 less people than those two nights. Wow. That's how many people it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, yeah, it was like 10,000 people, 11,000 people, 8,000 people. It was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also, you get a little adrenaline looking up at, looking up at 10,000 people. It's, I, I'm like, I'm just a tiny man standing where the Utah Jazz play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Brian, all you gotta do is make everybody laugh for 90 straight minutes, the whole family in a giant arena. That's all you gotta do. That's all you gotta do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, both. Oh, okay. I grew up non-baptized and I was jealous of people that were baptized. Oh yea, you can get baptized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there could be a whole segment where you give Nate a word and he just tries to pronounce it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cause they were on what, TNT or TBS every night, right? Yeah. Yeah. Ted Turner. He made him America's team. I feel like they are. Still are. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's never, it's almost always, it's almost always a sign of a joke didn't work. And then the person's just scrambling, just scrambling to not look terrible. And sometimes it works. Sometimes you, you put it back on the crowd and sometimes the crowd buys into it and you're like, you keep, I've never done that, but you see people do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're like a Daniel Tosh, jeselnick type that has an arrogant, confident vibe, I feel like that's a fine move. It sets your persona.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard you say, if you ever see that on a special, like you said that, if you ever see that on a special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had that thought. There's people on specials that'll be like, Oh, you grown in now, or Oh, you don't laugh, but this, this and this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very, it's extra cool because that's your favorite show. You've probably seen more than any, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian Regan has a good story about opening for Jerry Seinfeld. I think when.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the early 90s maybe, early 80s, uh, but he, uh, some, some lady was waving, waving him at the end of the show, waving for Brian to come over. So he came over like, oh cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the shows, I mean all the shows are great. I don't think, I don't think for a Nate show that that time is better. Cause you did a 3pm in Salt Lake City that was just as good. A 3pm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, AI, AI is already stealing people's voices and scamming and calling people, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The AI will already call your mom, your mom with your voice. Oh, really? Like, can you send me a check? I need money. And your mom will be like, you need money?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, but it'll be from some random number, but people are obviously falling for it because it's the voice of a loved one. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you get a call from an unknown number and it's your loved one, it's probably, probably not a loved one if they're asking for money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exact people's voices. Wow. And calling loved ones, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mom, I'm, I'm in a jam here in, uh, in, uh, Saudi, or no, I'm in a jam here in, uh, somewhere in Africa. Can you, can you money gram me? $2000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he was trying to find India, right? I mean, he kind of missed. Big miss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, no, he's got a lot, he's getting a lot of guff. He's getting a lot of guff. For Columbus Day, and now it's what? Indigenous Peoples Day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People discovered it 5,000 years earlier. That's all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bargassi, your dad's name is Barge. Barge. Cause his grandpa drove a tugboat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Columbus got to America and the English got America, so it sounds like it didn't work right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, I did go to college, it's true. Your dad's a professor? Yeah. Yeah. Of history? He teaches writing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of money, a lot of money. Professor James Madison university. That's where the money is. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah. Of writing? Engineering. But he lived in India, so it comes all full circle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before I forget, Nate had a pretty good America joke in Australia that I haven't heard you keep doing. Pretty solid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Montana State University. Yeah, that's where he went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's also professionals that surveil stuff. They have those little surveil things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they use those little triangle things to fill all the, all the lines, but I don't know how they do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could probably find some old maps that were very phoned in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm amazed they figured out how to communicate different languages to each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, that is. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. That is amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whales make some crazy sounds. I just learned that they used to think whale clicking and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whale songs were ghosts. They were super freaked out by whales.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, apparently they're making sounds way below. And there's a, there's one, I think it's a sperm whale does a clicking, but then the other whales, you know, they do their songs and they didn't know what they didn't know. Those are whales. They thought it was ghosts in the sea. I mean, imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. How did he look like that? A lot of sun, a lot of smoking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found my family doctor that way and I found my therapist that way. I know Nate doesn't believe in therapy, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can find one in network. They also show you all the people in network. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to find. If you ever try to find a doctor in network, good luck. Like it's hard to find a doctor in network. That's confusing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost like there's something wrong with our whole healthcare system. I agree. I do agree. But ZocDoc takes care of that for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But so if it's flat, then what do those people believe all the other planets are?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you'd have to go to the Asia astronauts or the Russian astronauts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Richard, Richard Branson is the third one, right? They're building spaceships.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does it count? It counts? Does it count if it's underwater?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree. We should be living in the ocean before we should be living in space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So does it really matter? Now somebody arguing against you could be like, why not just do a dome above ground?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, Bezos is trying to get the people to Mars and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Musk is trying to get all the trash and Nate had a joke about, at some point somebody is going to ask him to take the trash with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This space is a much bigger ocean. Uh, yeah. I guess it's just how much energy it takes to get the trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the Kaiser, he's the Kaiser Sosa. He's the true brains behind this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think he was like a great stage actor in his 20s and 30s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've heard, I've heard him on this podcast. He's definitely smarter than, smarter than me. He knows a lot of facts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I mean, I, I've just surprised myself everything I've said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I think there's going to be a lot of fact checkers listening that are like what Joe said was a little bit off there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'll be at the Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis, headlining October 25 to 28.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Minneapolis. I'd love it if you came and then I'll be back with Nate in Las Vegas, November 11 and 12. That'll be very fun. And then I've got, I'm all over these little towns around the Midwest the next three weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which you can find on my website, but mostly just, I want you to check out the special Colt Classic on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone loved your dad last week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm mingling with people at the after party and Nate's like, Hey, behind, they're waiting for me and Nate's have to be the one to tell me there's these fans waiting for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, when you're big time, you're big time. Before the show start out in the lobby at NBC. And I'm out there with, you know, some wellest big time dance odor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big time comics in New York and people come up to me, you know, cause they know me from the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, so they, uh, they expressed interest here. I think they came to your shows at Radio City Music Hall a few weeks ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gave some advice one time, I thought that's really good advice and I've used it. Treat it like it's a nap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, when I told my mom you were gonna be on Saturday Night Live, she obviously knows Saturday Night Live and it's a big deal. She asked me, you know, what city they did it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, she, but she's, she's age, she turned 80 yesterday. She's not staying up usually for Saturday Night Live, but then when you're on the Today Show, all of a sudden, like a light went off. Like, how did he get on there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Asked to be on there and I said, yeah, I think so. Cause she watches today's show. So she was very excited about, she said you were, um, you're uptown now. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So you get there Monday, you do today show and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those cases aren't cheap either. No. Do they? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, all the sketches, cause I watch it, all the sketches were kind of centered around that Marcelo Hernandez, who's on, on the cast. He speaks Spanish and he was in every scene and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's funny, uhm, it's really, really hard to get tickets to SNL. I think you gotta be on a waiting list and I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe months in advance and then they call you last minute or email you and you gotta either be there soon or just get off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But big fans find a way, on his episode, it was clear a lot of his fans somehow found a way to get in there. Oh yea? Yea. And when the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the Korean boy band, BTS? I mean that was just like a concert for them when they hosted or when they were musical guests. So somehow these fans find a way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was a very young audience and I would, we're getting ahead now, but people that are sitting down front, I would see like hot girls and then some hotter girls would show up. So they'd get those people up and move them out and move in even hotter girls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So the rest of the week, you probably, it's always a blur to you, but Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, you're just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me ask you something, of the 50 that were pitched, who decides which ones work and how do they get whittled down?


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[Assistant] Still actively involved in the show creation.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, Dusty has a joke about country songs about going to the lake.


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[Assistant] Don Pardo, the announcer, was like 96 or something when he stopped announcing.


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[Assistant] In between, right before the Fran Drescher sketch blocking and...


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[Assistant] Got to, uh, for that one, one upstairs.


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[Assistant] And it's all about camera angles and blocking that day. It's very interesting.


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[Assistant] Like the set's kind of built, but they don't go all out and everything's kind of enough that you can kind of envision what it's going to look like, but it's not like done, done like.


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[Assistant] Props, they'll give you another prop to kind of just practice with or things like that. And, um, it's a lot of just doing it. So you did the Fran Drescher, then you took a little break, then you did the, uh, which


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[Assistant] I mean, and that one's funny, but the blocking is really hard and the camera angles and that one I'm down, Nate said, just come on out here with me. And I'm out there just, I mean, right there, right off camera.


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[Assistant] Standing by and James Austin Johnson was in that one and it was a very funny one. And then you did, uh, I mean, you didn't want you to the airplane blocking that.


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[Assistant] And you went to about midnight and then the last thing before we left, they said, Lauren wants to see you in his office. You went up there and met with him.


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[Assistant] Not goofing around, but, but super nice and, and friendly and.


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[Assistant] And uhm, got right to this now, you're doing rehearsals in costume.


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[Assistant] And I think, I think George Washington was the first one you all rehearsed that day.


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[Assistant] You know, maybe not being there, the security guy who I got to know that yeah.


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[Assistant] After everything got rehearsed on Saturday during the day, the only thing, two things left to do were the cold open and the Foo Fighters rehearsing. And I'm just sitting upstairs, I'm on my laptop, just whatever. And he came in and he's like,


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[Assistant] You know, he, he didn't say leave, but he was kind of saying like, you know, we got to make sure blah, blah, blah. And.


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[Assistant] I was getting ready to leave anyway, but he was just like, because of the Foo Fighters, if anything got out.


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[Assistant] Slightly encouraged me to maybe get out of there. Yeah. And I did. You were taking a break then in your dressing room.


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[Assistant] There's you, uh, taking a break.


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[Assistant] Yeah, let me, before we get to that, cause we're about to do the dress rehearsal of the audience. I went back to my room briefly, watched a little sports because I'm into DraftKings, NBA seasons here now, the weight's over, basketball is back and DraftKings Sportsbooks, official sports better partner in the NBA is celebrating with an unbeatable offer.


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[Assistant] New customers can score $200 instantly in bonus bets for throwing down $5 on the NBA. Nate loves the NBA. NBA!


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[Assistant] The trading season is one of your favorite things in sports. It's a, it's its own sport. The free agency market.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Basketball is more fun when you're in on the action and download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now and use code NATELAND.


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[Assistant] Alright, Saturday, now it's time for dress rehearsal with a live audience.


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[Assistant] Dress rehearsal, I get over there. I'm the only one from our group that went to both and I'm so glad I did because there is a difference between the dress rehearsal and the what makes them a live show.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I mean the cold open. Well, first of all, for both, I don't know if you know this. Uhm, Michael Che comes out first. The band's playing the whole time people come in to get seated. Then Michael Che comes out and kind of does a little audience warm up just to get people going, tell them what's going to happen. Then Kenan comes out and sings, uhm, that song, So Glad We Made It. Is that the, I don't even know what the title is. You know what I'm talking about?


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[Assistant] So glad we made it. You got to. Give me some love.


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[Assistant] Well, anyway, he comes out to get the crowd pumped up. He sings that song. Three of the female cast members come out as his backup singers and they sing and dance behind him. And it's just to get the crowd going. Yeah. And then, uh, there's a guy who's.


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[Assistant] 30 seconds, 20 seconds, you know, five seconds, whatever. Then the show starts, but the cold open in the dress rehearsal.


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[Assistant] A lot longer, there were two characters that got completely cut from the code open. Keenan played, uh, Clarence Thomas.


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[Assistant] Trost maybe is her name. She played Jill Biden. Both of those got cut from the show.


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[Assistant] Just cause they didn't get a good reaction. They changed a lot of stuff up.


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[Assistant] And audience, that was, got the best reaction.


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[Assistant] Of any of them, and the second best was the, uh, chef competition.


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[Assistant] Do you think they'll ever like reuse those sets or bring that back later?


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[Assistant] I'm sorry, I was about to say, I always thought, why don't they just memorize it? They rewrite so much. It changes.


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[Assistant] That scene got, the end got changed every time in the rehearsal, in the practicing, leading up to it, and then, uhm,


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[Assistant] You know, Dave, at first it was Dave Grohl was gonna come out and said, I'm a rock star. It's number one or whatever.


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[Assistant] And he's going to say something and I've slept with up to five women, something silly like that. Then they change it to, you know, and you're like, well, why do you fly? Why are you in coach then? He's like, it's not a con, it's coaches of comedy plus.


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[Assistant] It shows them breaking down the set and getting ready for getting everything cleared out while they're introducing the cast. And it shows you standing back backstage waiting to walk through that door. And then the floor director, she's back there. And then talk about the woman who holds your hand and runs back and forth.


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[Assistant] I mean, she's pulling him so fast, like you're almost about to fall down.


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[Assistant] In the, uh, Fran Drescher one, originally in the rehearsal, like she like throws a kid. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Or something like that. It was a prop but she acts like she's throwing a kid.


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[Assistant] When you were rehearsing Friday night, it's like 11 o'clock and you're in that air. No, you're doing the ghouls and there's a kid in that one.


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[Assistant] And they spray, it's not just water, it's like, uh, some type of goo or something, right? Uh, it was like a brown water.


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[Assistant] Okay. And a guy comes up, the mom of that kid is sitting up there where I am. He comes up and he said, Hey, he doesn't have any.


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[Assistant] Allergies or anything right? Cause we're about to spray this stuff and we don't want him to have some allergic reactions.


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[Assistant] And I would just say on, uh, Seth Meyers, that Laura said, if you can do that, you can do Saturday Night Live.


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[Assistant] I was like wanting you to be a writer on this Noah's Ark sketch cause you'd be like, hold on guys, God wouldn't want him in cause of mankind's sin.


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[Assistant] You know, I think you showed that on this podcast once. Cause that's when you were trying to model at the mall or something.


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[Assistant] Oh, did I have to read Jones? Well, he's good. All right.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I watched it. Right? When you say goodnight, you turn around and you're talking to him and he was like twice.


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[Assistant] Now I did walk, uh, somebody walked me through there once and showed it to me. I was joking about that, but they did. They'd go get you coffee or.


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[Assistant] Somebody said more, it's like a mafia don. He sits back there at that table and people just come back, just talk to the godfather.


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[Assistant] I thought so too, but then you're like, I don't know. I'm so close to it. I'm biased. But then when you read online that everyone's saying that it's great.


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[Assistant] Uh, Keegan Michael Key came from a Halloween party. Dressed in full costume.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think it is. He was in the Gold Open. For me, it's uh, Dana Carvey is my favorite cast member.


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[Assistant] Somebody said, and I feel like it's kinda true, everyone's favorite cast is the one from like when you were in junior high. Cause that's like your...


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[Assistant] I love, I mean, I love all the Chris Farley stuff and one of the, my favorite sketches, it's not that many years ago was Tom Hanks when he went on black Jeopardy. Yeah. Oh, such a good one. Yeah. It's just so funny.


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[Assistant] I mean so much of it's, our pop culture is from that show.


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[Assistant] Yeah. But the, the van down by the river, uh, the, what's his name? Foley, the motivational speaker. Matt Foley. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love Dana Carvey, church chat and all that stuff. Uh, I liked spades when he would do the, Oh, like the Hollywood gossip. Yeah. That was very funny. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's some rumors floating out there the next year, their 50th anniversary could be their last and you can eat vibes on that.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, 50 years, the world will be nearly 80.


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[Assistant] There's another internet rumor that Tina Fey may take over. You know, it's just stuff floating out there.


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[Assistant] Well, I mean, it's funny you mission Seinfeld cause it got.


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[Assistant] But in that case, you'd be more the Jerry character. Like if he asked you to help him move, you would have totally said yes.


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[Assistant] And now because you've been on SNL when you reschedule those shows you can raise the ticket prices.


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[Assistant] Uh, well I had to cancel my shows, uh, at Hyenas in Dallas and Fort Worth, um, to get to come with you and, uh,


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[Assistant] Uh, one of your guys was nice enough to reach out to them on my behalf. So the next day I'm waiting, you know, to see what the guy says at the club and I get an email from him, like, here he goes. He's like,


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[Assistant] Hey, uh, ticket sales for all the shows are, are really low, like every show. And he starts asking me like, can we cut this show or whatever? And he doesn't know yet that I'm not even coming. And you're like, yeah, we can cut that show and a couple


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[Assistant] But I mean, soon after he found out about it, but I was telling Nate, like,


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[Assistant] I was, I found out about a show I didn't even get to do. I still found out that ticket sales are really low.


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[Assistant] So the six people who bought tickets, thank you. I'm sorry. There was one person that emailed me that said they drove there, uh, just to buy tickets or not. I know I feel bad about that. Always buy anything.


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[Assistant] Well, I agree. I mean, please start buying tickets early so these clubs will, you know.


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[Assistant] Nate's canceling arena shows. So he can do SNL and I'm just like, please somebody come. But November 8th is your chance. Come to Zany's Comedy Club here in Nashville, November 10th and 11th. I'm at Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky.


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[Assistant] And, uh, November 18th, I'm at Studio Theatre in Little Rock, Arkansas. So please come to all those shows.


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[Assistant] Oh wow. Look at that, uh, animal. Oh, you mentioned animal fight. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And the McDonald's gift card, look, after the after party.


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[Assistant] That's your dad performing. Huh? It's probably an old copyright. Go update that book and it'll put you in there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, have a little bit more positivity than Dusty. He's always around the green room at Zayn, he's always something, always something going on. Something's not right.


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[Assistant] You know what's, because we were just talking about going up and doing some TV in New York and I was like.


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[Assistant] It's way more people that meet and greets are out in public or on Broadway say, we know you from this.


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[Assistant] No one has ever said like we know you from laughs on Fox.


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[Assistant] What about the one, uh, it's kind of late at night and the black guy, no, yeaah, is it the black guy that's the host?


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[Assistant] Do people ever say like, oh, I know you from Comedy Central?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think, if you're not in comedy, I don't think you would piece this together. No, no. That it was like choppy.


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[Assistant] The other guys bit, right? Yeah, you don't go, wait, what? There's no like, you just let him go.


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[Assistant] Think about like 457 million. And then another.


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[Assistant] People are going to watch it, it's not, it's like on the TV, like if you turn on the hotel TV and it's on the last channel from like the news or the game and it's like, that's whenever I would see it. It's on every night, commie.tv.


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[Assistant] That was a big comic. Yeah. Well, it's just kinda like, uhm.


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[Assistant] You know how if you're like, we had this discussion the other day, if you're like Miss Alabama, like how many years after are you allowed to leave that in your Instagram bio?


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[Assistant] Nah, it doesn't come up. Nah, yeah, it doesn't. But I had it for a while. I had it for a long time. You did Gotham? Yeah. And on, uh, it was on, uh, Axis or whatever. When it's off Comedy Central.


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[Assistant] When I got, we could do promo at our show and I was like, Hey, get like.


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[Assistant] My buddy up in, uh, is one of my best friend's buddy, I think, in Chicago. He went.


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[Assistant] To a comedy show and then they were like filming it and he was like.


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[Assistant] Laughing at like another joke that wasn't that joke and then they put him in laughing at that joke and I think he got fired from his job.


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[Assistant] He was on stage? No, he's in the crowd. Oh. Cause you go to the crowd shots and it was like some kind of topic that was like way like very inflammatory and they took a laugh.


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[Assistant] Or we're going to send you a raw, like, Dropbox tomorrow. Just send us back.


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[Assistant] What do you think if- 2010? No. What do you think the average person, you've probably talked about this before, what do you think the average person thinks you would get paid to be on The Tonight Show? Like 10 grand? 20 grand?


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[Assistant] So there's no- Oh yea, it's not filming right now. No, yea, yea. And it has been for a long time.


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[Assistant] I guess people, cause they don't assume, they think you're like dumb. I don't mind, I don't mind that at all.


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[Assistant] No, they're just thinking, unassuming about like what we do. I don't have any problem with that.


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[Assistant] It's like, if you think I'm in the perfect position, if you think that I do other stuff.


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[Assistant] I don't know, we get like from our like booking, like booking at johnchriscomedy.com and someone's like, hey, we saw you last night, our youth group has a lock-in next, it fall, can you come, I like that you saw what I did and you saw it.


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[Assistant] It's like a place where like people, you've ever seen them, they're like, ugh, that place, you know, they're, yeaah. But they would still assume that about you.


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[Assistant] Ordered, one of the guys in the crew ordered, uh, Uber Eats to the tour bus this weekend. And I was like, he was going to go out and like, I don't, I go, hey, give them.


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[Assistant] Also this twenty dollars like tip them also this cuz they're definitely gonna go.


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[Assistant] Who's in that bus on the way home. And see, and think it's you who ordered it. And me, I go, Hey, like also tip this.


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[Assistant] Cause it's gonna come back on me always. Man, John Chris tipped a dollar on a doorstep delivery.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I always say, I always say that about, like, whatever, I was like, yeah, but I'm a, I'm the comedian. So I don't.


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[Assistant] Well, John Mulaney does. That's the only guy I know that like always does, right? Oh, Steve Byrne does. That's like part of the, like I know there's like, uh, there's like all the comics that have like dresses like they're like bow tie.


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[Assistant] I think I had Pipe and Drape on curtains on the fifth row of one of my shows one time. At a church. There was no, they put them in the fifth row.


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[Assistant] And I was like, yep, but they came in from behind them. So they know.


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[Assistant] It doesn't help. Cause I can put them on any row. Just cause the church was whatever, 2000 seats and there was 60 people there maybe. Wow. Maybe.


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[Assistant] Hey, we can turn all the way around. I heard somebody say on a podcast, I think recently they go, if a comedian, they go, if I knew this successful comics, if I knew I, if I had to do it all over again, I couldn't.


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[Assistant] Like if you had this guy couldn't do it, it was so, all those, all that stuff is so emotionally, all those colleges and all those soirees, like it's just so emotionally taxing the guy.


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[Assistant] Like we did the, we did the Elkhart county fair and like all like leading up to it. It's like.


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[Assistant] We were selling like average of what I sell in a city and they were like, yeah, but the, it's, did you ever do one with me?


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[Assistant] I did the Washington State Fair. They were like, well, the, the, it's on the racetrack and there, it's an 18,000 seats. Oh yeah. I go whole.


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[Assistant] Based on how many tickets they sold, they set the stage that night, and how far back. Basically. Yeah, yeah.


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[Assistant] And it always ends up, it probably always ends up, everything you're stressed about it ends up great.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Some of these big things. Thanks for putting me on the roster with all these other, yeah, Keith Urban and like all these other monster acts. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So just when everybody listening, when they, when somebody, artist, musician, or comedian says, we found some, we added some more seats. That means they thought it was going to be this and they just popped them back one section. Yeah. Right? Well, whatever I say.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Whatever. Doesn't Taylor Swift, I think she's, she just puts them behind and they just have a screen behind. In the stadium. Oh, I didn't see that.


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[Assistant] My buddy named Johnny, we went on a mission trip to uh, Morocco. This is like when I was in college. And he slept.


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[Assistant] But you could probably, if you didn't have anything, you think you could sleep on the floor? Oh.


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[Assistant] I don't think you need a night to figure out if the mattress is gonna be the one for you. You don't need a hundred. A hundred nights is so much.


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[Assistant] That's like the, it's like the similar with the Domino's pizza, you know, they're like, if you're not satisfied with this pizza, send it back. I go, no one that has received a pizza to their door.


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[Assistant] Sending a mattress back. That's a lot of work, I bet.


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[Assistant] Yeah, because then everybody would just, the argument on the other side is everybody would just like fumble it down the field.


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[Assistant] Cause if you're out on the 1, you have it at the 1. If it goes in, the other team gets it at the 20.


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[Assistant] You can't go as, as if you're on the 10, you can't just pound it. Yeah, those short kicks would be tough. You gotta chop it.


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[Assistant] Cause the kicker does the exact same routine and you watch the kicker, not the guy snapping it. Yeah.


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[Assistant] We went to the, uh, Wichita, Canada, we went to the zoo. Cause you gotta go to, you gotta go somewhere.


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[Assistant] Yeah. That's like saying Ken Griffay Jr. He's so popular, you shouldn't miss that one.


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[Assistant] The guy, he was up to bat, Shohei Otani was up to bat last year. You remember that guy that got fired?


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[Assistant] He scored a touchdown this and he's been rumored to be dating Taylor Swift. And the, and Ian Eagle, who's the announcer goes, and he found a blank space and he's open for the touchdown. He said that. And that's one of her hit songs. I would have been proud of that.


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[Assistant] But it's like one of those things where if you get it, you're like, oh yeah. And if you don't, it doesn't, it just goes over your head.


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[Assistant] Did you think he goes, he tells the other guy, yo, I got this Travis Kelsey lunch? Or do you think he just like, keeps it?


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[Assistant] Really, all you can do as an announcer is like, you're gonna be canceled.


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[Assistant] Now at some point, cause you're so now like baseball announcers got three and a half. Imagine if we had to call a game and we go.


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[Assistant] I followed the Falcons game yesterday on ESPN and they have the win percentage. So if you're up by


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[Assistant] We should have that, but you, it has to run through, it has to run through like you or something to like adjust it for the reality.


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[Assistant] Really? That's what he just made his first tackle? I guess everybody wants to DM him about that. How'd you find him?


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[Assistant] No, it was, uh, uh, Phil Palisades, a comic that I came up with in Denver. He said, if you, if you're in hockey, professional hockey player hits somebody else, it's $15,000. He's like,


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[Assistant] That's the penalty. Yeah. Seven grand. But I guess if you, but if you're, if you're catching a foot, if you're a wide receiver, that's no money to you.


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[Assistant] That's a problem, by the way. What? That's their most famous alumni?


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[Assistant] No, but nobody knows the real Rudy. He's not recognizable.


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[Assistant] What do the, what do the fans say when you're not there?


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[Assistant] And Kate the great is that that's her at on Instagram or that's just her Facebook name or what is that?


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[Assistant] And you don't have a- yeah, there's no comment on that. We just leave that alone. You can, I mean, she-


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[Assistant] That's like a point of it in like embarrassment for people that you shouldn't be embarrassed about as things that you don't know because you weren't alive.


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[Assistant] Inside, inside the astronaut helmet.


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[Assistant] Well, what is- what is in a cigarette that it stays in, like a car, but you can't ever get it out? The smell. What is- yeah, but nothing else sticks like that.


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[Assistant] If you lit a charcoal fire and then cooked a hot dog in a car.


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[Assistant] Well, did you ever start out when you started out with comedy as the host, you were like, any birthdays?


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[Assistant] If you could have just do it. Just do it. Yeah. Maybe you guys are like, Hey, do any of you guys drive cars? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just do, just do it.


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[Assistant] Form a girl is only like in, in like hotels, if you choose the breakfast. It's the only time you ever see one.


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[Assistant] We have those in like college. Even if that's- Yea, but he's saying, he didn't, he's never even seen one. He didn't know what they looked like. But he'd never seen one. He'd never seen one. He never had one. You don't, you never seen-


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[Assistant] These are very, let's just say at minimum, these are very Brian-centric.


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[Assistant] You know there's a Christian, uh, there's like a Christian Netflix. What's it called? Pure Flix. Pure Flix. And it's all Christian movies. That's it.


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[Assistant] There was a, uh, yeah, they can't, they took out all the, like, customers, like when ESPN would take some of my, some of my, uh, sketches, they would, like, their football coach, they would edit out certain, like, they said, hey, can you give us permission


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[Assistant] That's fine, but don't, this is like the art, those are the funniest jokes. Yeaah, those are the best ones. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Did we film that at a, uhm, it was a band, like all the high school bands. You were playing out with us.


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[Assistant] Zanies and i was like i don't know who that dude is but that is the funniest thing i've ever seen my whole life and i go lucy who i think you all even knew each other or did you.


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[Assistant] How about that? What, what, what were you, uh, that was your closer? Oh yea, dude. Oh yea, in my opening, in my middle. Well I was closing on a bit on the, a Lion King bit, so. I can't judge.


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[Assistant] Well, you shouldn't get rid of it. You should just keep that closer for- No, no, no. Cause nobody knows it. No one knows it. Mine was a trampoline. A trampoline bit. You remember that bit? No. What's the trampoline for? Nah, we're not gonna do it, but yea.


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[Assistant] Kids these days, probably some of them. When I was growing up, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, did everyone, did everyone, every comedian has had a kids these days?


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[Assistant] I think I learned from you because at the exact same time that I had a kids, what's the deal with these kids with peanut allergies? You had a.


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[Assistant] It's not their fault that they have peanut allergies. And I was like, and I was like,


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[Assistant] And now, like, I've heard, like, some podcasters, like, do whatever is, like, in the, in the environment that we didn't have, like, we have it. So... Right.


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[Assistant] It's like a, it's like an old, it's like an out of time. It's like an expired bit. Kids these days, like when I was going down slides, there were metal in the monkey bars and you could pass out or whatever. Remember the merry-go-round? You just go on every playground. Yeah. They don't have them anymore. Yeah. Remember the monkey bars? Swing sets were crazy. We used to have swing sets too. Yeah. That was the best.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, it turns. Wait, are we, is this not the end of the episode? No. It's a new episode?


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[Assistant] That was the first time I ever did a podcast. Did you guys get any trouble for that?


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[Assistant] John Chris part six. I think I told somebody, I go, it's cool that comics can like, comics can


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[Assistant] Build other comics, other comics have been made popular by other comics.


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[Assistant] Like Rogan or like, you have the power and I have the power in my pocket to bring people on. They're like this guy, you don't have to wait for TV or anything.


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[Assistant] Or like something, I saw somebody do a bit about like, my son was wearing these jeans that were so wide you could hide all kind of stuff in there. I go, oh, yeaah, that has to be old.


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[Assistant] Or like getting up here like dude after like I had, I'd go outside and get a taxi or like.


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[Assistant] At least you could still do that. Yeah. In some, yeah, I can say on Broadway or it, but yeah, you would change it to an Uber. Like I've been doing this bit for a while.


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[Assistant] We got, we got, uh, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Hicks, Keenan Thompson, me.


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[Assistant] Where is, no, Keenan Thompson's hosting. Oh, you're right. You're right. Yeah. Bill Hicks.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm the guest spot. Yeah. It's everybody, it's everybody in their prime.


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[Assistant] I wonder who the, yeah, I mean, cause everybody's like, I'm from, like they don't claim that they came up.


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[Assistant] They don't come up in that state, like I came up in Denver, I would be like, where do you start comedy? I'd say Denver where I'm from.


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[Assistant] I started comedy in Atlanta, Georgia at the Laughing Skull Lounge but I'm not part of that graduating class or whatever you call it.


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[Assistant] Everybody does, everybody does one or two things. You either invite everybody or you invite nobody. Your first time ever doing stand-up, which did you guys do?


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[Assistant] I didn't tell him for three months. I didn't tell anybody for three months.


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[Assistant] Alright, so what am I, I thought I was doing the stats. You're doing it, I'm just defending it, or just saying if it's true.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a president. Just for how we grew up, that you would say, yeah, you wouldn't- Well, this is all time. Yeah. Young Jeezy's not in there.


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[Assistant] That's a current person? Hip-hop is everything, well that's not the state of Georgia, I guess that's Atlanta. But Atlanta is also 60% of the population of Georgia.


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[Assistant] Ayy, Conan Young, jeez, ayy. Mmhm, nothing.


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[Assistant] Burned to the ground. Oh yea. We will rebuild. That's before me too.


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[Assistant] And then I was like, you know, you get older and you're like, I should stop with these like rivalries, like my buddies that like love Georgia. And I'm like, listen.


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[Assistant] Their fan base was so insufferable that it was like I re-ignited my hate for the University of Georgia. And I'm grown. I hate.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they are having some. Yeah. I don't like it. I just don't like it. I don't... They look very beatable this year though. But you think you would graduate out of that.


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[Assistant] I didn't get accepted, all my brothers went there though. It's a really good school.


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[Assistant] And, and Bill Gates is doing that now and everybody's critiquing him.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, where is he doing it now? He's dropping mosquitoes on it in Africa or something like that. Not in Africa.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I knew about the, yeah, when Savannah, they stood, they're all still there by the way, if you ever go down there, it's brutal.


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[Assistant] How are you talking about granite monuments and you're not bringing up Stone Mountain? Well, it's gonna get there. Oh, that's, that's our thing.


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[Assistant] Now, nothing, nobody goes there because it's like problematic to even be seen there.


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[Assistant] Well, they have the Confederate generals on the mound. And it's like, the nose of the Confederate general is the size of a school bus.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Timeline wise. Yeah. But that used to be like, uh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I performed it. I was in Tulsa this weekend at the Brady theater, but it was, it's now the Tulsa theater. Cause Brady, whoever's named after it was like a leader of the KKK.


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[Assistant] So you can ride that somebody, you know how they do like, uh, like if you went to, when you start becoming like popular, you get like, Hey, we'll take you to a.


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[Assistant] Yeah. To get in there. But like the people are down below like, and you can get in there and like they watch you.


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[Assistant] I'll give you a quiz. Do you know what three animals out there eat meat?


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[Assistant] So you're like, if you're like an elephant in a giraffe, they're like, well, they, they don't, you could be, they don't eat or, cause we were out there in open air.


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause that'd be like the cheetahs have to, they kill a gazelle and they drag it up into a tree to eat it up there. So that, yeah, it's unbelievable. But we were out there in an open air Jeep and I was like, this is terrifying. And they were like, no, they think the Jeep is an animal and they also have never.


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[Assistant] Ben conflict with the jeep is never so they're like enough you step out of the jeep it's over for you.


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[Assistant] Nothing. Cause he's like, we live in harmony and then the Jeep has never attacked them and they've never like, I was like, and they don't have a.


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[Assistant] No, also they don't hunt during the, they don't hunt during the day. So you're not worried. Unless there's like an extreme like famine or there's like a wildebeest were everywhere. So they were like in the hierarchy of like, they would never do that according to them again. But isn't that same in the ocean with a shark who wouldn't eat you?


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[Assistant] Magician? Yea, it was something, and then he was gonna like cut himself out of it or something like that.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Then they got all the different cokes from the different, what, what is the best, what's the best way to you guys would consume a coke?