[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, I can do, he got to the end, to the punch, I was in it, I was in. He was doing good, the delivery was good. He had it all. I'm picturing it all, I'm with ya, I'm with ya, I'm locked in. He got to the punch line, I was like, hmm, that could be better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can't have animals in here now, especially not a monkey. And he's like, no, no, no. The monkey's cool. Monkey's cool. You'll see. It's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give me a drink, I'll take a beer, whatever. Gets a beer. Before you know it, the monkey's just throwing shit all over the place. Like shit. Grabbing his shit, throwing it, knocking people's drinks over, runs over to the pool table, grabs the stick, breaks it, and grabs the eight ball, swallows it. You know what I mean? Right. And then, you know, bartender's like, get the, get out. Get out. Kicks him out. They're gone. Never again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A year later, you know how jokes work, one year later, same guy, same monkey come back in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've been to classes. Monkey had some therapy. Better monkey. Trust me. And here, take my card. Pay for anything that goes wrong. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're sitting there at the bar, monkey's being cool, orders a beer, and then the bartender's like, okay, monkey seems to be alright. Slides over a bowl of pretzels by the monkey, he's like, help yourself. Monkey looks at it and grabs one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then just like puts it back in, shakes his head like, nah. And then bartender's like, you don't want any pretzels? And then the guy's like, oh no, uhm, what'd he ate last year? It came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the bars by my place, uh, last night they have like an open mic kind of thing, dude that runs it, him and his girlfriend, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, they'll jump up there and play, but she said, when I got there, she was like, I just did some stand up, did you see it? I was like, what? She's like, yeah, I did like five minutes on the mic. I was like, oh, do you have like some, like a set written or whatever? She's like, no. I was like, well shit girl, good for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Emily's gonna be like full grown by the time you see her again. So we should get on this. What can I bring? Can I bring something? Just don't come.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I opened a, I opened a Baron Weiss. A Baron Weiss? Baron Stark trademark, uhm, imported from Germany.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] During the, the, um, the sponsor, I heard Simon say on hands. It's on hands. Not hands on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not caught up. Fine. I don't care either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, is, it is one of those, yeaah. Like commonly, the first few, you gotta get past the first few.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I agree, but like the first time I tried watching it, after a couple, I was like eeeeh, and then I just muscled through after I like met a couple of the stars like working on shit I was working on and I was like, I'll go back in and give it a shot and I'm so glad I did because it is such a masterfully crafted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm curious what you're gonna think, Names, given that the chara- like, cause you love happy fluffy things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna propose something to you then, Simon. Cause I have heard, and this is what I'm gonna dive back into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not really reluctantly, but from a few people that I respect their opinions, I've heard that Watchmen has become somewhat amazing now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I kinda wanna give it a couple more episodes, but I have read some really- What's it on? HBO. Uhhh, I don't have that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] HBO. So that's what I'm gonna dive back into. Give that a whirl. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of that, and this is not going to be popular opinion coming from me, but as anyone, because everyone's like, uh, I don't know, like, jacking off about, uh, Letter Kenny, which has been around for a minute. What's Letter Kenny? I haven't seen Letter Kenny. Oh yea, I know what that is. I've heard of it. People love it. What is, what is it? I watched a couple, I watched it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a Canadian based comedy series. How old is it? How new? I think there's a few seasons for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I watch, but people love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, kids in the hall. It's not sketch. What about kids in the hall?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, but just like more, like I don't know. Trailer Park boys didn't do it for me either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a big thing on like, if I see it on a menu and I don't like a particular ingredient, I'm not gonna get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Menu item because I'm not having it as it's intended to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if we have like a little, uh, two of us or three of us and the other two or three are judges or whatever. Like a little top chef kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I love those movies. For the time, the first one was like groundbreaking and special effects. Story is very simple. Yes. Uh, Luke Skywalker is a little whiny bitch. Yep. Um, I still, uh, Empire Strikes Back is still like, that's a solid film. You watch that today. That is my favorite. That is a solid damn movie. Uh, Return of the Jedi is mediocre as fuck. The three prequels are mediocre as fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I would say this, Neebs and Apsro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They weren't amazing films back then, but they influenced an entire culture and that's why the Star Wars genre from that point in time


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Star Wars always- Star Trek, you mean? Star Trek, I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand why don't, why they don't get the writers from those games to write the movies because they have great storylines and you like care about the characters. Hollywood arrogance. Like, that's probably what it is. Like, oh, you're not the writers guild of Hollywood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was one thing about George Lucas, he didn't deal with- No, he was- Yea, I think Spielberg was supposed to direct Return of the Jedi, but he couldn't, because, uh, it was a non-union show. He was doing ET2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weird music, everything's flat. Symmetrical shots. Everything's always flat. Yeaah. Yeaah, he's got such a weird style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be like, uh, that'd be the smartest thing Marvel could do. Guess what? And him. Scorsese's doing adventures. And him. Yeah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it's one of those things, yea, if you're a big studio, you wanna make an Avengers, you know, you wanna make something like that. They wanna make all the Marvel shit. Said also something that you could sell overseas. You can't really do that with a movie like that. Yeah, it's like the gangster thing has like, passed. It's had it's time. Uhm, and that's probably what they were thinking. It's like, yea, this is... Yea, maybe. Yea, there's no superheroes here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I was at that right, I think, I don't think I had ever seen like an adult superhero movie the first time I saw it, and I had no, I had no, uh, no connection to the original comic book material, so it just caught me by surprise, like wow, this is something I've never seen before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zack Snyder was good for that movie, not so good for Superman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should probably do the next Superman movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, poor Superman, just can't catch a break. One of the greatest superheroes of all time! And they keep screwing his movies up!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the first one, the first one's I think still good. Yeah, so do I. Because, because it like, the movie kinda takes itself seriously, but it also like has a little, little fun with it. The second movie, like they fired Richard Donnerbrunner and another guy, and he threw in weird shit like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fighting Superman's fighting in his ice house against these three other people and all of a sudden rips like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a well-written Superman. And like, that's what, like, we said about, like, why don't they get these writers to write the movie? Because they understood the character. It's like, Superman is like, yea, a little bit goofball, a little bit naive. He's the Captain America in the DC universe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I actually, I have drank beer from a straw one time. Uhm, it was Halloween. I had a latex mask on. Only way I could get beer in me was through a straw. There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Annually? I wish a service like that existed when I went through college. Nope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, it's a symbiotic relationship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's kinda how weed started. Sure. Bringing on dogs, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like Sansa bread. It's fun. It's like raccoon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Very nice. Anyway, I wanna see these monkeys train this dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, we can, we can go out, we can find other stars. New, young, fresh stars. We want young stars. Ones with water! Like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Morse thing kinda confuses me. We need a nice young star, a nice young planet. Let's start all over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I guess you just walk, right? You just take the train?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, why doesn't Elon start to develop something that could, uh, stop an asteroid, uh, from hitting our planet? I think there's already- That sounds very military. Yeah, I wanna know this. I wanna know what's going on with that. The best I've heard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless we get to it first. We need to start selling real estate on Mars immediately. Niebz Gaming needs to get there first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's as simple as that. I'm gonna put that on Twitter. We called Mars. There you go. Yep. Heh heh. Talk to our Mars Realtor. Mars Lawyer. Our Bar's Mars Lawyer. Mars Bar. Mars Bar Lawyer. Yes. That's the, yeah. Okay. Yeah, now living there's gonna suck for many, many years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if, you know, you start looking, hey, who around here would probably survive on Mars? Those guys got a pretty... You know, that's true. They got the experience, they got kind of experience, like hey, listen, we've been roleplaying for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's more variables with going into space. Okay. Things could go wrong. Yea, well I mean even SpaceX has had a couple of their rockets mess up. But that's the point of it. Yea. Oh yea, no, they're figuring it out. Work the kinks. Yea, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aging. Benjamin Buttons. For dogs. For dogs. Is that a big thing? They working on that now? It's a thing now. It's not. That's another Elon thing, isn't it? Yeah, I don't know. That's some other like crazy stuff they're doing with genetics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, people have had, uh, their dogs clumped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was watching some sort of, uh, documentary where they were talking about, like, designer human beings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It goes too far when yeah, you just, you decide to create some sort of superhuman or yeah, an athlete or supermodel. But if you can eliminate like all sorts of diseases. Oh, without a doubt. Definitely do it. And a lot of that stem cells stuff. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm fine with cloning football players, that sounds fun. I'm just saying. Take the best football player, clone him so he can fill both teams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I'm, I'm anarchy when it comes to genetics. Let's go crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw, uh, are you guys familiar with the rapper 2 Chainz?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cows can go extinct though. Seriously, they're worthless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would have been impressive. That'd be a good test to see. Does this hold up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would try it. I would try it. I have a little heartbeat. I'd eat it regularly. I'm not vegetarian or vegan or anything, but I would still try it for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was good, but yea, I had the book in my mind. You know, yea, the book's always better. The book is always better. There was more tension in the book for some reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. It's just a butt with legs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we do it for three seasons and then it gets cancelled and then you're stuck with your thumb in your ass figuring out what to do next. Right. But now in our next animated series which is called... Mr. Tiger Pants!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy. Well, what now? Pitch that to Adult Swim. Get our agent on the line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to watch an episode of that new animated Fox show, Bless the Hearts, and I just, I couldn't do it. I made about, made it about maybe, I don't know, 15 minutes in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very impressive cast. I don't understand. Yeah, it's too tame. It's like there's nothing in it that really grabs you. The only thing I thought was funny was Kristen Wigg every now and then talks to Jesus and there's an actual Jesus character that's very flamboyant and fun and like always tells her one thing but then like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quote something from the Bible that's completely opposite. That's the only part of the Trailia first episode I enjoyed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we are the best comedy, animation, Star Wars writers in the world that no one's ever heard of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, it's hard to grab my attention with an animated anything. Rick and Morty was the only thing I can even think of recently. Or I watched the first episode and I'm like, I'm in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, how did they not know it? We gotta write a PG show for Fox animated or PG-13.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Avengers 12, whatever number we're on now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that's what DC should do instead of Marvel. DC was smart. Let's bring in Scorsese. Let's make him do Batman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they do so well with. Joker was almost a Scorsese film. Anyone see it yet? I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't. Um, it's okay. It's kind of exactly what you think it's gonna be. Yeah. And that's kind of the problem with it. It's like, eh, okay. Gotcha. It's like, ooooh, he's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it gets interesting, like the first half of the movie I'm just kind of like, ehh, alright, yep, yep, yep, he's down on his luck, he's getting beat up, everything he saw in the trailer. Second half of the movie kind of gets a little bit more interesting with his, like, backstory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I was kind of in from then and then there's a wonderful scene at the end that I just absolutely loved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. Yeah, he's the white claw of vampires. He was working with what he had with that piece of shit. Alright. I mean, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're a handsome young boy. You had a bit part in a Harry Potter movie where you died. A studio approached you and said, hey, we're doing this Twilight movie. Oh yeah. We want you to be the lead vampire. I don't blame them. You read the script and go, fuck this sucks, but this is good for my career. I'm gonna do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say, I will withhold judgment until I see him as Batman because I had the same instinct on when- Ben Affleck. No Heath Ledger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, he alleged he was gonna be the Joker. I was like, what the fuck? The kid from A Knight's Tale? That's gonna suck. Man, I still think that's the best Joker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. Even Joaquin Phoenix is as good as he was. He's legit to me. Still the best joker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I enjoyed him, but I enjoyed Heath Ledger. The Heath Ledger, or the Joker-Two-Face story combined, I thought was wonderful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does not care for the kid. He's just gonna be a shitty Batman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you so much. And the deworming. Thank you so much. Glad the worms are gone. Me too. Thank you Skillshare. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lie a little bit. We got about five pounds of salami in the fridge. Do we? I think his name was Dennis. Dennis brought it from Zebulon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's Carolina Tropical. He and his dad have a salami and cheese company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trapical salami? They put pineapple in it. Push. Yep, and his name was Dennis and he was super nice. Well played. Nice, well played. What a lucky guy. I bet they're going to get so many orders now. It's going to be insane. They're going to go out of business because they can't handle it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got a stuffed snake for one arm. Anyway, people would stuff comments in there. So all of our comments this week are handwritten. That's what you meant by all the comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me start with the first one, because I think the first one was from the actual creator of Niebzbot. Okay. Uh, Niebz, fellas, our intentions with Niebzbot is to get your fans to handwrite comments. It's our first big event.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost like the cyclone. Was it Chubby Thunder?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda read one. Quick one. Love you guys. Marshall Jedi Mind Trick. Thank you, Marshall Jedi Mind Trick. Hell yea, Marshall! And then this one says, this is really neat. Keep up the creativity, Strange Shorty. Love, Strange Shorty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I love these comments, but we're gonna have to do some other comments. This one's more wordy, let's see. Uh, Dear Simon. Yeaah. Hot dogs are sandwiches. Damn right. The rest of the guys can kiss your butt. You're the sandwich pro. That's from Ryan. I'm on his, I've been on his side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they were deciding if women should vote, there was only a handful of people that wanted women to vote to start with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hot dogs are not sandwiches is the clean energy debate of today. Or the flat earth. We're moving on. Yeah, let's do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it just had a letter L on it. This one's a short one, it just says- Like a superhero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or break it up. Maybe they're sick of this. Talk about something else for a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should have done the, is it white? Because when we first got the Tim Tams, we were like, let's do that scene from American Beauty. Where she's laying on the bed and all the rose petals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, should get notes mailed in every week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also pretty rice-y. It is. There's a ton of- I'm not even joking. Oh, too much rice. But it was a great way to put it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I love the smell of jasmine. It's blooming right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking, like, uh, next year, if we do this again, there needs to be like some icebreaker things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people were just- But like, imagine this. You got a icebreaker section.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe there's a big dry erase board, and you can just walk up and write a topic. You can write like, football. And then people go, oh, what team you like? Like, just some kind of conversation starter. That's a great idea. Or there could be a Pictionary Corner. I feel like we're just using the word great, like. Listen, no, no, no. We're just throwing it around. I'm not going to say lovely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember meeting them. Might have been the first night. I think they were actually the ones from Thicc's comment. I believe so too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it. I'll knock some out. I also just wanna see Simon do mundane tasks. Yeah. When you were the short order chef, that was great. Right, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That one, that first drop is... It's mind blowing. It's whatever number you just said. 325. That's how many feet it is? Oh jeez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The tables are starting to turn. Now it's just Simon and Thicke that are on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I don't want to just go and do a dance. A lot of gamers like dancing, I guess. Well now it's a prerequisite to work here, so we all have to learn to dance. You're the kind of guy that likes the line dance, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would enjoy a line dance, but I really wanted to learn one of those German dances that Adahop knows. Where you slap your shoes? A German dance maybe. I just want to slap Ada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, most handshakes are taken. That was the only one that wasn't taken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. So yeaah. So I went to Baldhead Island once with Brad and Baldhead Island is a, is an island that doesn't have roads. Uh, they just have little pathways where you can ride bikes or golf carts and they have houses and they have a marina and a few restaurants. Pretty cool little place to visit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so Brad and I go over and just go, we'll just, we'll just go bar hoppin' and get a golf cart and drive around for the day. And we went to one of the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clubhouse places they have where they have events and stuff. And so the bar's open so we go and have a few drinks and they're setting up for something big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Brad's like, what's, what's all this going on? It's like, oh, it's a big party for all the homeowners here tonight. So, are you homeowners? And he goes, no. And he's like, well, it's a private party, so, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's funny cause he goes in with no plan and it's obvious. That's how he does. Yeah. And it's not even smooth. He's just like, he goes up to the table where they're checking you in and he's like, and he remembered the bartender's name. He's like, ah, we're supposed to go meet up with Rick over here. And, uh, they're like, okay, well, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't leave a message or anything, and he's like, well, I can just walk in and talk to him if you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just sloppy. Eventually they were just like, just, I don't know, just, just go in. Like it seemed like they just didn't want to deal with it anymore. And it was funny cause we go in, we sit down and then we look over at the bartender and he's just shaking his head, like smiling. Yep. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, it's a good skill to have. And if you're the person who, like, hopefully you wouldn't use that power for evil, but if you're trying to start a business or trying to, maybe you're in sales, you know, sometimes you just have to not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kinda when there's things like, it doesn't hurt to ask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've had some good thumbnails. You've also had a few questionables here lately. I'm curious about the scrap derby one recently, which was just a road. You thought that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, not every time, but like today I've got several things going on. Uh, my lady's booking our air and B for our


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You didn't get enough footage, huh? Well listen, a lot of people, we have a lot of community footage in this thing, so we want to give a shout out and thanks to those people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He might answer for you. Let's see, let's see. Probably will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he doesn't. Hey Adahop, we're recording a video right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, the guys want to know if you could do the thank you in your voice. This is on Commenting on Comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Does my phone, does my phone sound good? It's all right. Sounds so great. Oh, I'm getting, oh, I'm also getting another call. Good thing I turned my phone down. So anyway, okay. So you're going to record the thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, cool. Thank you. Good to talk to you. Thanks buddy. We love you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at how much time we saved right there. It's from Mrs. Niebs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's probably because what she's doing is important. She's booking our Airbnb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, all good. Uhm, Airbnb's getting figured out. They have this strict, like, no parties rule and they have like, I guess cameras in the backyard and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's official, we're going to RTS. Yeah, we'll be there. Make sure you book your travel now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But RTX is like, there's a lot of hangout time at RTX. EA plays like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, while I'm thinking about it, I want to give Ray a big shout out. Uh, Cerebral Emesis, he sent us that, uh, heavyweight belt, like a while back and I love it. And we actually brought it on stage. It worked out good. At PLGX. Uh, Doraleous won the honor of wearing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna piss me off real quick. I like to see different types of games. Cause there's a lot of fun games. Oh yeaah. Is there? I definitely want to see more Mount Your Friend, like even that thing, the Granny Simulator. That'd be hilarious to watch a round of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you weren't there, just the sound of the audience. It was amazing to feed off of that. There was so much energy just for climbing with a floppy ding dong to a top of a man tower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you have the controller, it's very easy to tell. But... Well, I always came from the right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll do that. Pick the colors. You won't look the same. So, maybe we can get the pink, uh, afro and blue mustache in one of them. That'd be awesome. But it always randomly. It does randomly do that. Drops a new person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made this game, put it out. Well, that's it. It's over. Nope. Second win. This is your John Travolta moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I want this to be a good thing. I don't want people to go, uh, mount your friends, come back and it wasn't really that good. It was just like. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not a real statement. That's like saying I could eat chocolate for every meal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. Or something. Or something, anything. Come hang out with us, we wanna see you. Yeah, we do. Later!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know that too. I kinda understand the restaurants a little bit more, cause I don't know, you know, your cook's in the back, hot stove, wants to keep a little cool, I understand why they keep the restaurant a little chilly. Also, I feel like movie theater has no excuse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll stay in here for a year, you will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I gotta go. Simon liter- he has to leave, there is literally a car on fire that you have to go deal with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thicc, you were talking about we should go somewhere and make a video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's probably, you don't have to, yeah, obviously your insurance company wouldn't get involved. You just go and play a, pay a flat rate. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boom. I need, I need this. How much were you doing for? 2-3 grand. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want to see your smiling faces. We want to hear you arguing. But imagine us arguing on go karts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'd do the same thing. Well yea, Chuck Norris would obviously kill the rat with his mouth. But I feel like anybody in that situation would try to do the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you put my bag, like my head in a bag and then put a rat in there...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now everybody's just had at it, you know? Oh yea, everybody's got their little mitts on Chuck Norris. Now it's all a girl yelling at a cat that doesn't give a shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I don't want to, yea. Well, I mean, I wouldn't mind one, but I know I'm the one that's gonna end up having to take care of it. I already have, like, my schedule. Yep. Yeah, that's always the dad argument.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta like walk the dog in the middle of the night. No, you need to be on board too. Exactly. And I'm not on board. I love my dog. Yeah. So. And I could love a dog, but yeah, it's just like, it's, it's, we like to travel a lot too. We like to go on the weekends sometimes. And it's like, now I gotta worry. That's certainly a thing. Who's gonna keep the dog? Who's gonna kill the dog?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good boy. Simon had Kramer. I never met Kramer, but I've heard the stories. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good on Netflix. Bringin' some stuff back. I had a little surprise last night when I got on Netflix. They had like a, they got like a 45 minute special of uh, Rocko's Modern Life. Which was a cartoon I adored when I was a kid. And it was a new special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was like, it's like they came back for like a 45 minute episode, and uh, I was just like, I haven't watched it yet, but I went, ooh, I'm gonna watch that sometime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because yeaah, I mean I'm, uh, Rocko's Modern Life for me is up there with like Rin and Stimpy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, like it was around that time of Nickelodeon. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm what? Probably five years younger than you guys? So what is Rocco? Rocco? It's like a, he's a, well, a dingo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a show. It's a manic cartoon. It's one of those nonsensical cartoons where nothing makes sense. And I loved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, that'd be a perfect place for a Marina. That's a good idea. Yeah, now we need sharks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And go to Margaritaville. Nope. They got a waterslide near Margaritaville. It's a, it's a really shitty waterslide too. Not impressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had to teach my daughter text etiquette. It's like she'll send four or five texts asking different questions and I'm like, look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get your thoughts together, put everything in one text, and then send it to me. That's a pet peeve of mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it is. Honestly, yeaah, that's everybody. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're probably right. Oh, he missed that note. Cause I think at that same event, there was a black guy there and every song he got up there and sang just killed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The difference is Apex Legends, you can get in and play a couple rounds in what, 30 minutes? Oh yea. The thing with golf, that is a day commitment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, EA decided to add microtransactions. It's worked in the past. Yeah, but uh, yeah, it's like the- the price they're selling them for is like really high. I guess there's like a season- there's something out- Thicc- Thicc probably knows more about this than I do. I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it cosmetic? It's all cosmetic stuff, which isn't bad. But the problem is, is like, if you're the type of player that like, you know, you want everything, like in the DLC or whatever, or like what they're offering, it's like, with just this new thing they added alone, it comes to like 170 dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to buy it. I think the, uh, even if you're doing aesthetical things, infinity items, they need to be more reasonably priced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I guess... That's my opinion. My opinion is like, okay, the game's free to play, so the devs have to make money somewhere. And I think skins and, like, for guns and shirts, it's perfect. But...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No more than five, and even five dollars is a little like, that's too much for a hat. Yeah. You know what? It's like, you know, charge two bucks for like a shirt, or I don't know, some gauntlets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean, well, it depends on the shirt, but I don't know. But yea, no, GTA, they've been egregious too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that's the only thing I've ever, like, that's the only time I've ever bought a shark card in GTA. But at that point, I think I had something like, like 600 hours in the game, and I was like, yeah, you know what? 30 bucks for a shark card, I've put this many hours in, and we're doing it for the series, it's gonna be cool. You know what? I don't feel like grinding for it, I'm just gonna do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, not itself. The DeLorean itself was like, uh, like one million something in the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think the shark card gave me like 5 million?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I mean I can understand why that community's upset, just cause it's another like, shady business practice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, what about a Lamborghini? Well, I mean, that you have to work for the money, obviously, yeaah. Well, kinda the same thing, innit? Well, now, now, if you're talking about you gotta grind to get this item, or you have to play the game every day, or whatever. No, you can pay the grind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, if, if like, you know, you log in, it's like, if you play this week, you get this special t-shirt. GTA does this all the time. It's like, hey, if you log in right now for the next week, you'll get a special t-shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I personally don't like it because I think it preys on people who like, have that addiction in the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I want to have everything, and I need everything in this game, and I love this game so much. And then they come out, it's like, hey, this costs $170, and they just can't help themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gambling, that is. Oh, oh, it's, yeah, it's a real, it's a real addiction. It absolutely is. And yeah, that's unfortunate. A lot of the big publishers right now, they're preying on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These microtransactions, this DLC, they know that the fear of missing out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had to explain to PS4 Trophies what a caper was. And then Simon said, you can't explain what a caper is. And I said, it's a salty pea. And he goes, it's a good explanation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can explain what anything is if you try hard enough. That's what I meant, I was talking about the flavor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least now he knows it's a small green thing and there's a lot of salty flavor to it. Oh, that's good. Good for you. Before that, it could be a flamingo-shaped banana or something. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You weren't thinking anything. You're like, I'm just gonna leave your brain completely void of any information. I was talking about the flavor and I left that word out. Well, if you ex- if I ask you to explain something to me, at least try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But a lot of people that they talk to, these other, uh, you know, pro gamers and stuff, I'm like, man, these are good ideas. They're like, well look, these two objectives are too close together, here's a place where, you know, everyone's gonna get sniped, like, it's just a sniper game, it needs to be balanced out in this way. I'm like, man, that's good feedback, I should give feedback like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say it, Nabes. The ceiling? Mhm. Were you gonna? I wanted to paint the ceiling. You did? Or at least clean it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, whenever we get a new office or whatever, we need carpet, cause we spill stuff a lot. Yea. We need like one of those textured carpets where you go, I can't tell. Yea, like a movie theater carpet, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are we gonna talk about? I'm drinking a root beer. Oh yeah, the uh. And after that I'm drinking a cherry cola.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I had the orange cream, it was good. Did ya? Yep. This was actually made by a fan in Wisconsin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fan made this. This is like a venture that they're doing on their own. What'd you think? I was drinking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can jump on me if you want to, cause I remember they were preparing for takeoff, worried about if everyone's gonna have their seatbelt on and all this, and you were like, just stopping there like, look, before we take off, my monitor ain't working. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well here's the other thing. I figured out my monitor's working and I also figured out I could access their wifi through my phone and watch a movie there. So I'm like, here, either we switch seats and you can have this one and I use my phone or here use my phone. Yeah. So he had a way to watch a movie. I did. But he was not happy with that. He wanted the flight attendants to fix it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, then he said, you guys gotta do Guardians, and that is like Tower of Terror, kinda reinvented, kinda the up and down drop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before we go on there, everyone's like, let's, let's get the fast pass for Spaceman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And probably less, less, uh, lines. Yeah, you would hope. But like Harry Potter, was that Universal? Yeah. Like I bet that's, that's worked out now. I bet that's good to go. Probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gralish never wants to hang out with us. He's always just leaving. That's it. Am I? Yeah, you're gone like 80% of the time. What do you mean? From the group. When?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would much rather take those transactions off the streets. We had people from Canada at the event and they said like, crime had dropped in Canada since they had legalized there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sounds like a superstar. Nah, he was a nice guy. You move on to day two? Or day three?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll take a look at the game, then we'll decide. Yeah. Well, it's gotta be good. Some games are fun to play, but they're not fun to turn into a video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, imagine Battlefield. Imagine Battlefield, you got four classes. You got Medic, Engineer, whatever, and they go, here's a new guy that does all this new stuff. You go, cool, let's see what kind of new tools we got. If you're into it, you would be happy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? That's clickbaity. That's super clickbaity. Come on, man. I mean. You know he's not dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's easy to get the information out, but yea. But I don't think that'll go away. I think people like coming together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've only ever been to Dave and Buster's once before that. We met Speed Eraser in Phoenix. Yep, I remember that. That was the only other


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played Dance Dance Revolution and I played a game where you threw balls at a bunch of lights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, strict nine and, uh, forget her name, uh, Bonnie. From Seattle? Down from Seattle. That's a long ways, but they can't, they were coming down for yeaah anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two folks came up from San Diego. One just finished his SEAL training. Yep. And the other guy was a swimmer. He had a picture of him and Michael Phelps on his phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember one moment we were in the car going somewhere in an Uber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, yeah, Richmond has a bigger skyline. I'm like, I don't think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it seems like it's a big skyline. It's not. You don't think LA has a big skyline? Nah. I think New York, like if you would have said New York, I'd have been like, yea New York skyline is really big. It's massive, it's so wide. Yea, New York's huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we were all concerned for you. Cause we knew you'd already had a few meltdowns. Yea, the legal weed helped. We didn't know how many more you could afford. Locked your keys in your room at one point. Everything. I'm a shit show. We know this. Absurd bought his daughter a gift, gave it to Simon and he couldn't find it. Couldn't find it. I didn't lose it though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they can figure it out, okay? We're gonna use them. We're gonna pee in those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Okay. So welcome everyone. Hey. How are you guys doing that I'm looking at right now? I'm good, thanks. Yeah, good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The muscle in my neck. I'm just wondering how you guys are doing. We're doing good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a girl that works at the Walgreens by my house that looks like a female Ada Hop. Oh wow. Ada Hop. Like, I kind of want to snap a picture of her and show everybody. Jada Hop. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know her name but she's terrible with service. Have any of you guys? Apparently she doesn't take the trash out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, your butthole is dry. I remember you saying that and you're like, I'm gonna get this chapstick from it. Put a full thing of Carmex up in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. It's in that area. It's a stone's throw away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good. It's nice. So just let it go. Lettin' it go. Simon's probably taking that medication that they give to dogs when they have to like cut their nails or something. They do that to cats too, like feisty cats. To sedate them? Yeah, they'll sedate them or yeah, give them something that makes them a little loopy. That reminds me. I want that. Give it here! Hand it over!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he's looking good. Crossfit. But, uh, we were over at your house, Neebs, and Neebs hopped up and sat on his, uh, counter. And then Harley got really concerned. He started whimpering a little bit like, Neebs, don't do it. Your life's too precious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she had me start her a Twitch account, like to start streaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ladies, ladies weekend. Speaking of ladies, do you know that we are now 90, 10, male to female. We're at 10% of our audience is female. That's great. I'm proud of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Minus one. Sorry. I got a couple more. Absorah, you're thinking of the hustle with Rebel Wilson and Anne Hathaway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll kick your door down and show you what the future is with their sleek, slim, beautiful wallets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And fix it, and fix it, and fix it. Yep, Ridge Doors. Now available at Ridge Wallet, Duck. Yeah. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Head over to RidgeWallace.com forward slash Neebs, as always. Thank you, Ridge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was only doing it to see if I could actually do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like I'm gonna change it. How much did yours change though? It didn't seem that much, but it seemed a little better. It's a big like, there's a lot of intent behind it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone on Twitter said that they said Graboonie while sneezing. They were trying to change it and they said Graboonie. For those who don't know that Graboonie is a mythical creature from our series Duralys and Associates. Go check it out if you haven't. Leslie killed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the like, which is used for the epic armor sets you can make at level 60, which you will need to fight the better bosses and the like. So keep our silver and gold. And the like, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think we're gonna toss it, so, good. No, no, it's way too shiny for us to toss that. Uhm, on the same video, oh man, this guy's name. I cut off his name, Simon! I'll find it for you, and I'll resend it. I'm gonna do the work for you, without me reminding you!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This next comment is from insert name here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you go slightly west of the Black Galleon, the big river island in the desert, uh, there's a camp there. Look for a pike with a hyena skull on top of it. If you near it, you can learn hyena fur armor, good for cold places, and looks cool as balls. Same stats as Thick's reptile armor, if I remember right, except his is for hot places. Oh, good to know. I wear that everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My next comment, uh, is from our most recent ARK video, and it's from Ry Cooder. And I hope to God it's the blues musician Ry Cooder. It's probably not. Ry Cooder is an amazing slide guitar player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The circle with the spear is a male. Oh, I always knew that. For some reason we went on about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron Burr. Who's the, who's the chef lady?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you done? You're not done. I've got one more. Uh, ANL animations says, uh, on the ARC video. Did you say ANL animations? What? ANL animations. ANL. ANL. Oh boy. ANL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Animations. Alright. Keep going. Just find a city terminal and upload the gatches to that. Once they're uploaded to it, you can go to the, uh, area next-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it might be near the mountains? What's the closest big city? Sacramento? Yea, Sacramento? Uhm. Yea, I mean, I'm looking at, I don't know if Medford's big. Yea, it's really close to the Oregon border. So it's up there. Northern California. Yeah, Redding! Yeah, Redding's a big city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A great way to do that is, uh, abandon your political party and join your community. Unite with them. Because then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's sort of like an unwritten like law in my neighborhood that we really just don't talk about politics because the people in my neighborhood, we're all like family. It takes a neighborhood or it takes, it takes a, it takes a neighborhood. What's, what's the saying? It takes a village to raise a, it takes a village.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we have a really, really strong community. We don't talk about politics. We were friends with every, even though I know for a fact that certain people in my community, you know, swing more left or a liberal and certain people are, you know, more on the right side. We have abandoned it, abandoned it as a community and we're stronger that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we can be stronger that way in America, in general.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a question for you guys. Have any of you eaten rabbit? Yea. In real life, yea. Yea, in real life. I don't know that I have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Tennis Mexican is one of them, and he actually brought us the arcade machines, correct? That's right. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the comments will be coming a little later because Absarov was like, Hey, I think we should talk about this. And he's talked about it before. And we were like, what the hell? Let's talk about it today. Absarov, let it rip. Well, I just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to start just because, uh, since I am the least prepared, there's a chance that mine are pretty obvious ones. I know that you guys...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's wonderful. And it's not even like something where I'll sit there like, and of course I can listen to it, I can multitask when I watch it, I listen to it before I go to bed, but I'm watching it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From his main trainer, you know, the pretty famous old guy. He's like a 70 year old white dude. I think was the basically Mickey, but fat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think fat Mickey and maybe taller Mickey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, oh and his mindset, it was like he taught him how to meditate and how to concentrate and all it was was about war. It was just about all out war and destroying and it was just inbred into him so severely as a child. This, this, he was, you know, since he was a young teenager. That, that affects your entire life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like really, you know, like it's happening all the time and it's such an interesting experience to watch happen. Okay. The chicks who do, who do, uh, uh, fucking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, you have these people on Hot Ones. He's got a lot of name people. Big names. So anyway, those are my two that I'm bringing to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] DeFranco, time to time. I've watched, I haven't watched much of him, but I do like him. I like DeFranco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Half in the bag seems like it's a phrase, though, like a thing. You're half in the bag, I think you're drunk. What I- It's in the bag. No, but half in- Done deal. But you've heard-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They probably have, there's probably many people, there's probably many things that we don't know. The world is mysterious. Well there's our universe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and they sell ponies. Which is something that is hard to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is fine. It happens sometimes. It was like, this is a quick and easy, let's do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He thinks he's good for the year now. Oh, he might think that. Son of a bitch. It's like Groundhog's Day. So it happened though. I witnessed it. Good for him. Yeah. Good job, Rick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have my father sneeze. You do? It's the same one, eh? And it's very loud and weird. It's hereditary, huh? I just copied it. It just happened. I sit when I pee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's black flippin'? Alright Absurro, whatcha got? No, I, I kinda wanna say something though. Back on this. You're saying that your whole thing is, you're saying that you're trying to teach or learn. I like to learn new things. So why don't you learn on yourself and try to change your sneeze?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta do a really hard sniff. I'll tickle your balls, that'll get you to sneeze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's up to you guys to decide. Okay. Imma go. Oh, well hold on. Hey, listen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when you add Eero Plus, you get total network protection with the ability to block malicious and unwanted content across your entire network. By checking the sites, you visit against a database of millions of known threats Eero Plus prevents you from accidentally visiting malicious sites.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ad blocking improves load times for ad heavy sites you can browse and stream faster than ever before, but you know, I mean that wouldn't be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so I've actually used this stuff and if you guys know me. I do. You actually set it up yourself. I set it up myself. Oh shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So get $100 off the Eero base unit and two beacons package and a year off Eero Plus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By visiting Eero.com slash Neebs and entering code Neebs at checkout. That's E-E-R-O.com slash Neebs and code Neebs at checkout. Thank you, Eero. Thank you. Thanks Eero. Thank you all. So who was the next comment?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, right. You know, but it's good to, no matter what, it's good to just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I'm down with you building. Okay. And me going in caves. And these guys coming in. Yeaah. Like chocolate and peanut butter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That should happen. See, that's the thing. Didn't you talk about are we playing tonight?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I didn't see, well there you go. What? Uhm, I didn't think it was that amazing. I thought it was funny as shit. You know, Larry. Because, because, as soon as he came in, as soon as he came back in, see I jumped on lightning, got him off and started fighting, nothing was going wrong, it only happened as soon as he came back in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, this is what happened, what I did was I got onto lightning, I brought him to the, to the back of whatever the inside of the thing that we were in, got off of him immediately, listen to me, got off of him immediately, and then shot the owl 15 times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but you thought that I jumped off means that he was gonna attack right away and that didn't happen. I jumped off immediately and he didn't do anything until you came back in. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But I thought it was bull- I thought I got bullshit at the end of that. That's why I'm passionate about it. Cause I watched the episode and he's like, I didn't think you could be so stupid over it. I'm going, I just watched what happened. I didn't do anything stupid. In all fairness, no, no, no. I just, like I just said. I just didn't put him on passive. I didn't put him on passive either. Got him away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you were really smart, I think you would have said, put him on passive because I'm so dumb. I'm not that smart to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zip it. You're offended. I know you've been offended and that's why you're jabbing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm done. Alright, listen, I'm rolling into this. Okay. Girl who nerds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hunting treasure from caves, getting rabies from bats, crafting scissors for shaves and saddles for cats. Missing old friends, Jeboah named snooter, to the saddest of ends, the time we lost Cooter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Always a great time. I love Niebz Gaming, so I put in a rhyme cause it's so entertaining. Happy Valentine's Day. Credit to Craig Jarvis for the final line. Very nice Craig. I was impressed. It was a really good poem. It was a very well written poem. Thank you very much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, James Huggett says, the comment shown at 45 minutes does not match what they're talking about. And I'm such a douchebag. And when I, and when I, when I like rewatch these things, I'm like, oh, this is good. Um, I, I must be losing attention somewhere. Cause I obviously put the wrong comment in a spot and I'm showing it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I wanted to say, oh sorry, and it was the comment that Thicc sent about the really positive comment. It's like, I showed the wrong fucking comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apology accepted, Simon. Liz LaFleur says, and I saw this on Facebook. I think this might be my first Facebook comment I'm sniffing. Ugh, the guys are wrong. I've seen this happen a couple of times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, I'm sure it's very rare. Well, what happens sometimes, I think if you have, god, I'm probably wrong, but I think I heard something like if you have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two uteruses, which believe it or not, maybe can happen, and I'm remembering it's probably wrong. You think it can be even more crowded. Something, no, it can, uh, the baby can grow in a way where it grows inwards back towards your spine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can have a tummy, or you can have whatever, but maybe it doesn't show nearly as much?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fail to their death. Well, we're gonna have to not do the research on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what's funny is, I went to school with Scott Perez, used to be my best friend. I had a best friend named Scott Perez. I'm not even fucking lying, you guys are laughing, but this is real. I had a sleepover at Scott Perez's house when I was in like 8th grade and we looked at comic books and shit and he lived in Oceanside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit out of you. Like if you are just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The right brewery. It's a matter of like, locally, we've got some really good breweries now. It'd be a matter of like talking to one of them potentially and you know, hey, we've got a wonderful community and maybe we could get one of our names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, we should look into that. That sounds fun. Oh, absolutely. There's probably somebody in the audience right now that's like, I know how to brew!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you talking about the particular beer that we put our name on or the process of which we go? The whole process. Every bit of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not all the best breweries in town are downtown per se. True true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like seltzer water, but with alcohol in it. That's the thing, you know I like sparkling water. Yeaah. And I know they are probably healthier, but still, I'm gonna get a beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a wine evening last night. Really? What sort of wine? Uh, it was, it was, all I knew was red because it was like, uh, at the, um, we went to that Brit Floyd, the Pink Floyd cover band show. My family's in town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Had some box seats with our, our buddy Brad and his family. I thought you were gonna say boxed wine. Boxed wine. Oh, but the bot, like up in the bot, you feel like, talk about feeling like special. Oh my goodness. They bring you all the drinks. There's all the snacks. You can stand and move around. Everyone's all squished down there in the seats, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel pretty good, but it was just, uh, I assume it was a cab or a Merlot. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So don't do that if all the box seats are full, like look around and then lie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These days one of the most abused things and believe me, I think it's justified in many cases. I'm not at all saying that it doesn't make sense in a lot of cases, but the service animals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our audience. So this is what makes it kind of enticing. Uhm, the fact that we can all kind of agree, which I know, I think you said that that's what makes us doomed in this, but if we can all agree that we want to keep that little shit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alive? We have to all, like, put ourselves in danger to protect that thing. That will guarantee the, uh, you guys out there that nothing's gonna be manipulated regarding this. So, it's a lot more fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just makes, yeaah. We've seen these relationships happen. Like he treats you like shit and you just stay, you don't, you know. I just can't quit him. He does love me. And he's getting better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what's interesting about the bachelor party is the reverse end of it, the other side of it. Have you ever, cause when I bartended and stuff, uhm, divorce parties? Have you ever seen those? No, that's a thing. It's just the opposite side of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Equally a celebration, in a lot of cases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why, why is it, why that? Is the full word cuckold? I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wife getting nailed by another dude? Or vice versa. I think just whatever partner wants to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a live-in, uh, third person, uh, female, like, with a couple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that had, uh, you know, he's gone through two and this last one fell in love with him and she moved back to New York. So, I mean, like, I'm talking about a unicorn situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mhm. Okay. Just acquaintance. But it's like, yeaah, I can't relate to it, but uh, you know, good if it works. Wait, who's the unicorn?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course, Miami. I've never been to Miami. I haven't either. That place is going underwater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And soon! Yeaah. Tomorrow! Next hundred years maybe. Yeaah. But soon! Yeaah. That's pretty soon in comparison to- And maybe it's not, who knows? Oh shit, we can't talk anything about politics! Not at all! Zip, bop, beep, boop, beep! We're not doing it! We're not doing it! Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, alright hold on, we gotta talk about Podsurvey.com!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, so please go to podsurvey.com slash needs and take a quick anonymous survey that will help us get to know you a little bit better. That way we can show advertisers just how great our listeners are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus once you've completed the survey, you can choose to enter for a chance to win a hundred dollar Amazon gift card terms and conditions apply. So go to pod survey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had, oh man, you know what probably happened maybe twice, driving on, we have a highway over here that turns into an interstate. Yes. So our exit is the last one before you have to drive up the road five miles before you can turn around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Yeah. I'm sorry, this is disrespect. It is. No, I'm loving the stories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This goes to show how not far we've gone. How far we're going back. Right. I mean, the animals and like, there are people, animals, pets, that are doing much better than us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But dude had a room for a cat, like that's crazy. Well, I mean, that's pretty, well, it's not that crazy. I mean, people who are lonely, no, no, I think it's crazy, don't get me wrong, but it's probably not that uncommon for people who are lonely, who have pets, and, you know, yeaah. And if they have money, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you've seen, I've seen people buy, it's probably stupid shit on like reality TV shows where it's, you know, where they've got, you could pay a thousand dollars for a fucking coat for a dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like, like, or more, more. It's just, but then you go, oh, I'm going to get that and I'm going to get that. And it's like, I'm, I'm trying to get jeans under 50 bucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I don't wanna spend 70 dollars on jeans, I think that's too much. Just saying. I'm with ya, I'm with ya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not bad. That's usually where I try to land. Fuck that. I don't care how much I like them. I'm not buying them for 100 bucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first sign was for me was when I got really excited about buying a vacuum, and I took it out of the box, and I looked at it, and I'm like, aw man, I'm gonna clean that floor. Clean that floor, and then I was like, what the?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to lead a- more? Sure. How much more? Give me a score. Give me both of them a score.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think I'm just pleasantly surprised that I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I liked it all the way through, I'm looking forward to it. There are scenes that could freaking get the hell out of there for sure. But I was impressed with just the fact that it was, uh, just so unique. Really love the, the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The creative style of it. No, I like the style of it, but I really, I really like one of the actors in particular. Like the head dude? I'm not really like one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did. Well, I don't know, or he's just that character. I don't know, maybe he's trying too hard. I think he's great. I mean, I just think he's a really good actor. I think looking at him, he could probably do a lot of different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do that everyday at work. Eat food off a truck? Eat food off a truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she lost her velcro wallet. Let's, let's talk to another one of our wonderful sponsors that we have today. Chegg Study. You know what that is? I hope you'll tell me. All right. Whether you need textbook solutions or expert Q and A, there's no better tool to help you ace your class than Chegg Study. Need an expert right away?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then simply use Chegg Study app to snap a quick picture of a problem not covered in your textbooks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then submit it to Chegg's expert and get a response back in as little as two hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or tap into Chegg's massive library by step-by-step textbook solutions, video walkthroughs and practice sets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can study at home on your desktop or on the go with CheckStudy mobile app. Subscriptions are affordably priced and can be canceled anytime. And let me tell you something, I wish I would have had something like this when I was in school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I didn't, and I didn't do very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your first month's subscription. Thank you, Chegg Study. Alright, so, who's up next?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drink water? It looks good. I'm okay with that, just if you're jumping into a new game and you don't have to worry about that, that's kind of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you kind of looked. Come on, two. Hold on. Uh, advice is like kissing. It costs nothing and is a pleasant thing to do. Unless you go to jail and it wasn't wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Touching each other's nips. Get some parrots involved. You're on a roll there for a minute. Yeah, get your friend that tried to bang you and the... Yep. Your, your missus. The three-way lady. The dog and the candle. Their new roommate, you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You say golf? I did too. What's that? Sound like you're saying golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Golf. Oh, that's how people from Minnesota say golf? Maybe. Maybe it's just me. Golf of Mexico.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is she lying? Oh, she is. She's a liar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's a liar and it's sad. So that's why I brought that all up, because uhm, somebody needed to call out the dirty liar. Someone needed to. Seriously. It has to stop. It really does. Intervention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. Yeaah. Let me go, uh, let me go next. Okay. All of my comments are from the last commenting on comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it says it's a scum? Like a skank and a cunt. Maybe. Combine. That's a wonderful word. Cause we were talking about, uh, I guess Umbrella Academy. Uh, and then below, Shadolay McKeck said cunt, and then Gavin Demurecy said scone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's, what's ham-fisted mean? A bit ham-fisted at point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that might be it. I'm gonna look at it right now. Ham-fisted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is better, the first Ant-Man better than Captain Marvel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jimmy Jam says, Simon, no pulling nose hairs can damage facial nerves, trim or be a man


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the thing is, we're yanking. When you yank the hairs out, that's causing the problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One night, my friend Alejandro and I were going out to eat. An officer then pulled us over. He says, your license plate is expired. Without warning, Alejandro sneezed louder than the volume of the passing traffic. Before I had the chance to say bless you, I noticed the officer's hand had whipped around to the handle of his pistol. In a fit of panic, I stuttered,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta work on that sneeze, son. See? I don't remember ever hearing Alejandro sneeze since. And it's really kind of the perfect, I hate it, but it's the perfect reason why you should learn if you have a very especially loud sneeze. So you don't get shot. So you don't accidentally get shot because you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This made me, this, this is a very important, thank you Mords Odyssey, very important comment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he says, and he says, hey, the guy sneezed so quick, it was so loud that the officer reacted. You ever have someone sneeze next to you many, many times?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was so loud. But it was clearly a sneeze. No, it wasn't that clear. He watched him sneeze. No, you know what he was doing? They left it out of the comment. He, at that moment when he sneezed, the guy just happened to look over his right shoulder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Well, if I'm at 60, right, within five minutes, I'm flashing right. But within five minutes, he's dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Teach a man to fish. Teach a son to fish. I have fought. I fought. I have fished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do know how to cook it. It's just, I find it very annoying still. I can imagine what it is right now. I don't like the system yet. I probably never will. I don't like how it works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, or just take it off. I have to go up to it and I guess it automatically puts it in there and then I have to scroll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should probably tell them and not, um, have them hear it from the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. Get em all watching. Wouldn't it be nice to see a war between those two? Like a hand to hand combat. Each country just go at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two perspectives from two kids that I never saw but I read the, the bio of it. It was like two kids experiences of him. I think one was good and one was bad from what I read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't sure if it was like, one was like, oh, completely innocent and one was a nightmare. So I didn't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, apparently, supposedly, he had a very abusive childhood as well. And there was weird stuff going on around when he was a kid, he was a kid performer, and then he might have even been passed around. Right. So it's like, you know, it's, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. Seriously, it's a different name probably for a four way when you're having it in the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just gotta fit it all together like puzzle pieces and you'll be a-okay


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God bless you. God bless you. Especially on this one, man. Oh, and now, you know what, now we should talk about politics. Let's do it. And here we go. I'm voting for-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should start using the music from Mamma Mia to score our aberration. Well that's what I think of every time he, Absurd says it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I'd want to look at squaring its nose and say, come get me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Simon, I'm gonna haunt you. I'm gonna, I'm gonna poke you in the middle of the night in your, in your tender little butthole. Simon, Simon, it's ghost thick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm not scared of it. And why are you poking my butthole? Why not? I have a soft spot for you. It's your butthole. Okay. Oh wow. I didn't know. All right. I think what I'm saying makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I've been using it for a while. I like it a lot more than that fat, wet, like, catcher's mitt that I used to have. I've grown to like mine a lot more too. He sweats, his hips sweat. Yeah, these hips don't dry. Or stay dry. Sweaty hip, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, these, uh, ridge wallets, they're for minimalists. They're, they're, you know, made of either carbon fiber, titanium, um, banana strings. No, they're not made of bananas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I went through my wallet and I realized how much dumb shit I have in my wallet. True. Just things that I don't even need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Countless. Yeah. Countless. Uhm, but yeah, it fits in my front, it's like a front pocket wallet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's right. Um, but I keep mine in my front pocket and it's, it's like, it's not even there. So, um, I love it. I've been using it for, uh, God, since my birthday. Yeah, that's my birthday. It was a good birthday present.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, yeah, you can go to ridgewallis.com forward slash needs enter the code needs for free shipping, free shipping and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. My comments are from the arc.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jake Gentile says, Hey Thicc, I just watched something for Extinction about a new dino. It's called the Velonisaur. It looks like a bigger spike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that? Spiker? It looks like a bigger spiker dillo, but you can ride it. Plus it's literally a mobile turret. It shoots loads of spikes at whatever you're attacking. Please address this on commenting on comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next comment is from Destroyer Yo. Says, so Ragnarok Fridays, Aberration Saturdays, and Extinction Sundays. How's that sound Anthony? So, it's not gonna be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seek shelter. Next comment and my last comment is from Osadar Mopzar. Sounds like a real name. I like that. Space alien. Yeah, it's our alien friend. Uh, if you need a more safe spot for your next last episode,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try following the stream southeast out of the lake. Stay close to the northern cave wall and do not veer southwest. And eventually you'll come across a part of the stream with mangrove trees. This is the safest part of the map as far as I'm aware.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could name, I bet you could change the name of the video to, this is the name of the video, Premiere 30 minutes, and then change it back after the premiere's done. I prefer not to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found... Draw me like one of your French girls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're just gonna vouch for him. We're gonna put words in his mouth. Oh no, you be abstract. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unturned. I've seen it. I've actually played it. Someone sent it to us a long time ago. Sent us a link to the video, so I decided to download it and play it. On your leapfrog?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still would have came out on top. We don't know that. Yeah, we don't, we don't know. I don't have it in my mind. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to see more VR on the channel just in general, but one of my favorite videos was when, Simon, you were playing that one scary game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hit that, like the reactions on that. Half of it was being scared, half of it was you didn't know what the fuck you were doing, which was perfect, but I love that video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got, as soon as I started turning a lot, it just fucks with me so bad. And I want to be able to condition myself to not have motion sickness. And the only way I'm going to do that is like do things that give me motion sickness kind of over and over again, which I don't want to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only do I have to pay attention to playing a game, I also have to pay attention to where the bucket is for me to throw up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna be able to kick like that. That guy can kick hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing I like about Rogan is, uhm, he doesn't get triggered a lot by people who have different opinions than he does. That's why he's a good interviewer. Yeaah, he tries to find out the root of why they think the way they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, hey. Cher was supposed to close, but she couldn't make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean really, almost everybody's got something interesting to say, don't they? True, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you go on YouTube, imagine you're some kid that lives out in the middle of nowhere, I'm using a real example that I've seen, and you build huts out in the woods, or in a mud hill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't live there, if you're the guy's neighbor, you're like, ugh. Billy's out there building a mud hut again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I've never lived in a big city in a high-rise. That's interesting to me. But some people, that's their everyday. Or their whole life. They're like, yea, I just go up to the 50th floor and I'm in an apartment. And I look out over the city. To me, that's alien.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's probably less competition in that area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what I'm gonna do yet. Well, Thicc's two minutes away. Okay. Cool. So, he's fine. Yeah, I was worried. Me too. Everybody relax. It's unlike him. Yeah. It's not like him. He's very punctual. Well, no. No, he's not. No, he's punctual. You know what he likes to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? He likes to go, okay, y'all going out to eat? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we're going out to eat. We're gonna be there, we're gonna be there at noon. Okay, I'll be there at noon. And then you get the text. I'm only about 10 minutes late. Go ahead and order me a Diet Pepsi. And then, or... He drinks Diet Pepsi? Yeah. Diva Juice, I call it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you use your, your, uh, app? Did you get points for your Chip-A-Lay? I did. How many points you up to? Oh, fuck. God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just used like 700. 399? 399. Man, you poor pitiful person. What's your uber score? 2711. Why don't you use yours? Because I'm waiting for the collapse of society. And I'm gonna live on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, well you're the hoarder. Yeah, uhm. No, I have everything I've ever made. I might, uhm. Including my two fillet points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, if you guys want new or whatever contract apps are assigned, sure, go for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, are you, is this a scenario where it's in English? Or they've re-dubbed everything into another language? Different language, different language, sure. If it was continuous, I was, let's, we got a deal here. We gotta work a deal out. Nibs. Live your life, steal our stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna jump in? Can I mention a sponsor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These t-shirts, I wore it again. I love it. I noticed that. How? It's thick designed it and it's my favorite thing he's ever done. Really? Yep. Huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's subliminal. I think I'm changing minds everywhere I go. Oh, I love it. Nibs, I picked a side. The shirt says if you're listening, uh, Nibs gaming. Hot dogs are not sandwiches. It looks like a baseball tee jersey. It's very, it's nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, also there is Simon's version of the shirt, which says, Neve's Gaming, Hot Dogs, R, Sandwiches. I'm on that as well. I'm with her. Dralis is with that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the point. We're not there yet as a society. If you asked years ago, should women vote? They all said no. Right. But now, everyone's on the right page.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna give more sandwich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds great! That made my heart happy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a- With a laugh track? Yeah, it's a Kung Fu temple right in the middle of the Midwest somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. And we have a rival school next county over. No, your rival is a church. Okay, Kung Fu Church. They don't have Kung Fu Church.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that comment seems like it's not really well thought through because like, we weren't playing The Forest or Conan like 5-6 months ago, you know, so no matter how many new videos you bring in, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, and no one's uhm- We're not gonna play, uh, a series for like a week and be done with it. It takes, you know, five, six months to get through it, or even a year sometimes.


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[Assistant] You are just such a good driver. Man, I don't know. So confident. Comes easy.


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[Assistant] You should be in it, Simon. You could do your New Orleans talk.


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[Assistant] Stitcher Premium. Wolverine was my favorite. X-Man. Man. X-Man.


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[Assistant] I don't blame you for not buying me Andralis. Our heads are dumb. Right. Yea, I don't blame you at all. Don't come up with new heads. I'm not butthurt about it.


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[Assistant] I think you made it work, kind of, but that was a crazy song. Okay, well, I'll get to that comment then.


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[Assistant] He had to bring four chains of clothes, cause he'd be just so nervous. There'd be lots of dead space. What would be fun is something really long. He'd be eating half the time.


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[Assistant] I'm just wondering if I, if I want to go on a road trip, how close I have to be to the car in front of me to save 30% fuel or something.


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[Assistant] Get busy with the noisy cricket. That's how it goes? Is that a lyric from something? It's not the chorus, but it's the only lyric I can think of. Oh. Remember? That's all I remember.


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[Assistant] One system that's always set up for communication with collabs. Yes. Yeah, I agree. For us to do a collab, we have to bring in laptops and set a mic up and do all this stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of finagling. It'd be nice to just switch it on, get them on Discord or whatever and let's do it.


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[Assistant] And has he been talking about this on his streams and channel? That's what he's streaming, huh?


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[Assistant] Maybe we've talked about this and I just ignored it. Uhm, this is from UncleCreepy27. Okay, please play Generation Zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My next comment was from The Forest. It's from, uh, let's see, Rebate? Jalees? Rebata Jaleedlees? Yup. Okay. Uh, it says, ah, come on!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just don't build anything, not even an ark. That was what I liked to see the most. Uh, your creative side. So uhm. Well, we got some building coming. So yea, in forest, uh, I prefer to build than look at caves. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I do want to build more in everything else as well. Uhm, Ark, like I don't feel like I have anything I'm proud of except for the desert thing I was starting on, I was liking that and you guys drug me away from that. Now I like our new bass cause it's useful. I don't think it looks good. No, it's a hodgepodge. Yeah. I'd like to build something nice in there.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but not to its full potential, yeaah. Okay. Uh, I think this is from Ark from Magic Dave, and I've heard you talk about this, uh, Thick. If you feed owl pellets to the gotchas, they will give, uh, you way better stuff. Do you know, I know you had the owl part beside the gotcha the other day. Yeah, but, uh,


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[Assistant] I like Dallas's reasoning there though. See a dead kitten on the road. It wasn't your fault, so. It's not really that big a deal.


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[Assistant] Simon is the project manager and he sent his team here to set everything up. He communicates via comms and occasionally does a site visit to check the progress.


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[Assistant] So, uh, we recorded a Satisfactory. It may be out by the time this podcast comes out. I don't know. But yeah, if we ever wanted all five of us to be a part of it, we could do a Seneca kind of thing. Yeah. I think we could do something like that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we had to turn a vpe on and we could finally get in.


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[Assistant] I think everybody can agree on, protect the worker, but don't abuse it.


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[Assistant] I was hoping they weren't waffle fries in there, cause that's gross. Yeah, once the waffle fries get cold, it's gross. Yeah, they don't work. You gotta put them back in the oven.


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[Assistant] No. I worry like when there's a food that you eat and it's not good cold that makes me think maybe I shouldn't be eating it. If it's not good warm.


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[Assistant] Yeah. We're starting without Neebs. Hello everyone. I love it. Hi. Hey. Hi. To everyone. Oh, it's not just you. You think you want to say hi? I want to say hi. Yeah. We'll say it.


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[Assistant] Hi. Hi. Hey, App Store's not here. He's, uh, doing his own thing. He sure is.


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[Assistant] Let's try to not curse for the first 10 minutes.


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[Assistant] We won't know when the ding happens because we won't be looking at the time. Yep. Anyway. You know what Thicc just did?


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[Assistant] What? You're making a sandwich. Yeah. Why not have a lot of butter? Cause it makes things taste good and thick said.


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[Assistant] Listen, I'm going for, I'm going for garlic, absolutely. Very easily, if I was to make a certain sandwich that I was thinking about, I could very easily just do the old school garlic powder, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put that on the butter, cause our, I mean, when I was a kid, when we had garlic bread, my mom would get a big loaf of Italian bread, she'd butter the living shit out of it, and she'd put garlic powder on it, and put it in the oven. Yea, how ghetto you are. No, but that's what you would do with the butter sides of the grilled sandwich. Everybody had to be a poor bachelor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'm gonna make this, I'm gonna make this sandwich that I want to eat.


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[Assistant] I mean, you could do it if you want to and you might like it and go like, oh, or you might not and go, oh, this is too much of this, but that's not the point of the video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The point is, this is what I would make because I am the self-proclaimed king of sandwiches, and I, my opinion matters.


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[Assistant] Because I say it does. It doesn't mean it really does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perfect. No, no, I want you to try, but, but the point of me being like, Oh, you should make these videos. They're not good sandwiches. Now they're going to be good to me. The last time we've cooked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I might make, let's just say I made a pizza sandwich. Which is very basic because it goes with the gimmick.


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[Assistant] When I say the gimmick, I mean like, I'm Italian, I like the pizza, you know, whatever. I'm gonna make it a sandwich just to piss off Neebs.


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[Assistant] You know, but it's made with just straight up bread, and I'm not gonna have elegant bread. What kind of bread? Listen, you're gonna shit all over it, I don't know yet.


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[Assistant] Let it happen. So it's gonna happen. Maybe we'll get a couple thousand people watching the stream tonight.


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[Assistant] And their backpack is in my back pocket right now. Can't even feel it.


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[Assistant] I know. I didn't see that coming. Yeah, no fruit. And also we have another sponsor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's that? Genlock, which is a new animated series starring Michael B. Jordan, Maisie Williams, and David Tennant. Get out. David Tennant's one of the... Doctor Who's? He was one of the Who's, yea. Yea, 50 years in the future, a daring team is recruited to pilot a new form of weaponized neuroscience that powers devastating mecha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, the, the suits, mech suits. Yeah. But they must be willing to sacrifice everything to save the world. Watch it free Saturday, January 26th, exclusively on Rooster Teeth. Look at those guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would have given you a handy right there in the pinpoint. If I was, if I was the girl with you, that'd be it. Are we five minutes in? We didn't curse, I don't think. Maybe. Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seriously, if it is what it is, you are married to a mad...


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[Assistant] I have a comment about it. You've, you know, something about cling wrap. It's gonna bring the house down when I bring it up. What you got? I don't want to start. I want needs to start. Okay. You go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got eight. He made up for- Made up for some. Some slackers. Most of ours.


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[Assistant] I just found out about this today, remember? You didn't send me the- Oh no, I know. No, not at all. I was just, just talking the talk. I know. Uh, Anthony!


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[Assistant] That bond says I would 100% rather watch you replay old games with or without Simon than watch you guys play Ark or another Ark aka Conan honestly.


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[Assistant] Uh, look more forward to the indie games y'all play nowadays. It's not that I dislike Ark on your channel, but it gets old now that you started.


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[Assistant] So, we've heard that stuff about Kona before, but this was in reference to this comment too, which I might as well just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just one playthrough on normal or easy would suffice, uh, and that was by Wallaby Inertia. It was great during its time and I still love the story. Jenkins' little video clip in the first Halo was hilarious and a good way to introduce the flood. And at first when he said that I was like,


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[Assistant] I don't know what the, I don't know what you're talking about, Afro. And now I go, I would, if, I would come in on Wednesdays if he wanted to play it and I would play that through them. Because I, if the story is good, those are fun. Campaigns are fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Gunz says, so by now you guys probably know about machinima purging their channels. Not only did they remove content made by you guys, but they removed their entire archives of videos. Private legal matters and state of BFFs aside, do you all have any comments regarding this situation?