[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a kid, there was, remember there was a great Simpsons episode. That's what I remember. I don't remember the actual thing, but there was like an episode in the Simpsons where they reenacted what happened in Singapore where there was a kid that was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chewed gum or spit gum out or something. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, publicly like flocked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where was the whole thing and we tried to stop it, I think. I don't even remember if it was US or England.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I'm like, I'm not going with you there. You think you can survive being marooned?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also like in your head you think of being on this great tropical island, but like what if you end up like off the coast of Maine and you're on this like island and it's like freezing cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if it was like the NBA, you could get like traded pirate ships, like you could be like, I'm gonna go to this, you know, you're a free agent and you can leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like too when Pirates of the Caribbean was like the biggest thing in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that motivating more people to be like, I wanna be a pirate? Maybe I should be a pirate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you, when you go there, it's like, you just see these massive boats, which I agree with Nate's, like, they're so high up. If you're on a little boat or even just like a pretty big boat, you still have to basically have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 15 boats on top of each other just to be able to walk on like you used to be able to a pirate in the 1700s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, well, it's like, it's way less sexy now. It's like, we're taking Bitcoin. Yeah. Yeah, I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How great would that be if there's like a generation of marooned family? Like from there's like a little island and they just keep like, you know, no one knows about generations from like blackbeard's boat and they're just like, they're growing up and they're going to come out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's such a great moment in that we're, in the movie at least, I don't know if it's, but you know, he's talking about, he's like, we're going to get away. And Tom Hanks is like, you're not getting away. There's the US Navy going after you. There's like a plane. It's not going to end good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That moment where you're like, oh yeaah, this is probably going to be bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're in the different circle. I knew about- You knew about Pirates of- I didn't know about anything but this. I knew about this holiday and I know people that dress up and get crazy. There's Catalina Island off of Los Angeles. Has like a pirate day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where it's like they charge people like different rates to get onto the island, cause it's so crazy. There's so many boats and people just get nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that, like, you can't get a hotel. It's like, uh, there's just so many people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like everybody on the island is dressed like a pirate and hammered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And dressed up and everyone's in this. And people talk about it, it's like people travel from far to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the difference between the Raiders and the Bucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like there was probably also like, sort of like the comedy scene, like the alternative scene of Pirates, where there was like, one guy, one pirate ship was like, look, we don't do anything in black, there's no skulls, there's no patches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the ship you don't want to get taken over by where they're like, they're also going to eat us when the ship comes here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if we were pirates? Like what, what, what kind of job do you think you would have as a pirate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was basically like, uh, you know, my name was like trim right back. I was like the sidekick. I would throw like a line. Basically is basically like you just reiterate everything when you're like, uh, dinner's ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dinner's ready. You know, you like over everything. You'd be good with that. I was good at like repeating stuff. Yeah. But I feel like how many jobs that there's like maybe the accountant, right? It could be the, uh, like an accountant. Yeah. You'd be the, I dunno, cooker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What else could you be besides the captain? I feel like on this you're the captain of the ship. If you were going to be another kind of pirate role.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, get your sword! Everybody, like, that's it. There's a cook, there's maybe the guy that's in charge of the money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is so just great though. It's like, guys, welcome to chaos. Everyone, you have to tuck in your shirts, you know, like, uh, yeah, lights out by eight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there's not a lot of mobility in the pirate life too. It's either you're gonna like jump off the boat with a sword. There's gotta be literally going back to like one guy steering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One guy is making sure that the gold is like, he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and then everybody else is like, running, jumping off the boat to another boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also it's like the 300 Pirates, like the majority of them are just there for the audience, for the band. Like, we just want people to like- Fillers? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't take that long. I mean, it's only a couple hundred years. It's kind of like the hip hop artists from like the nineties that would be like gangster rappers and now they're like in family movies and yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, what's up everybody? Uh, this is Nate Bargetzi, this is the first episode of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Nate land podcast, I, uh, you know, I, I did a podcast a long time ago, uh, very, very long time ago, right when podcasts were getting big and then we stopped it. It was basically like, if you like got a tip about Google.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you were like, ah, let's get out of it. I mean, it was like 2010 or something, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but now we're doing it again. Uh, COVID has forced, forced me into a podcast cause I can't, I can't do anything. So, uh, we're doing it here. We're in Nashville, Tennessee. This is the first one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But so I just figured, you know, we're here, we're all stuck in Nashville. Uh, so let's do a podcast, you know, let's get it, let's get it going. We did all the proper stuff we did. We took people's head temperatures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean like, will there be bragging of like, like, my temperature's, like some guy gets mad when they get, they do it and he's like, I was in, mine's 93, so maybe chill out. Like he's a guy, I just watched, uh, Contagion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because of all this, I wanted to watch Contagion and I wanted to see, like, what it was and, uh, it's pretty crazy. It's exactly this. And the stuff that they talk about and the stuff that they say in that movie is all...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly what's happening in the world. And he is, Matt Damon's immune to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, this one, like, I mean, they were, had not to ru- but people were just dying immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but it's all the, it's all the stuff that's happening. Matt Damon's immune to it. And so he does a lot of that yelling, like they're like, you get back, sir. And he's like, no, I'm immune to it. It's fine. Like people were like, oh, okay, man. Sorry, man. We didn't, you know, like there's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it, I think you gotta be at 9, I think you gotta be right around it. I don't think it can go that low. 95 to, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, hypothermia is if your body temperature falls below 95.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's, you wish you had a little more wiggle room, and you don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At all times, I mean, we, at any point, you just jump in there, 95 degrees, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, that's, yeaah. Alright, 95 degrees is hypothermia. I thought it'd be, you know, what do I know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the point of this show too, we know nothing. And so that is what I do want this show to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I know there's a lot of stuff that like people want to use, uh, I was like, a lot of celebrities are using the platform in very good ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but that's not what I want to do this. I'm not a big platform guy. I don't like using a platform. I think it's embarrassing to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need to use my platform. Like it's insane to me to use it for stuff. I look at this show as like just trying what I want to do this podcast for us to be just funny and people can watch this. And then if you are fighting the good fight, I do think you need a break. You know, you can't just argue all day long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we should be the, the, the, our platform should be used.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we don't know what body temperatures were supposed to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so we should never say anything. I didn't, I'm a, I never say anything about anything because I, I mean, I went to high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's it. And I had a rough time getting out of high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, I got an A in speech though. I did a speech on Vandy's 96 football season and I had a highlight reel. Vandy by the way, I had a highlight reel. I'm a big Vanderbilt fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and Vanderbilt had a highlight reel that I got and they went five and six that year. And it was a year from, I think we played Notre Dame, which Aaron's a big Notre Dame guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was all we had, dude. I watched it. I mean, I watched this, dude. It was a VHS tape. My parents got it, uh, for me for Christmas. My mom worked at Vanderbilt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she was in like the ticket office and so they gave it to her and it was, uh, five and six. That was the year we lost to LSU. We had two delay game penalties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we got an extra point. Yeah. On an extra point, Van D.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead, they were going to go for two because we were beating LSU. LSU was ranked seventh, I think, in the country. And we, we score with maybe, I think 13 seconds left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're up six to seven. It's very exciting. We're going to go for two, might as well. It didn't really matter. If we beat this team, it's like going to be unbelievable. We get a delay game pill when you're trying to decide on the play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then so we're like, all right, fine. We're still going to go for two. It's only five yards. Another delay game penalty. They still couldn't decide. And then when now we kick the extra point gets blocked and then we lose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what this podcast, this podcast is going to be like that. It's like that play, like it's just where it's like, yeah, we tried it and it was terrible. Uh, so I don't know, but that's, that, that's what, that's what I think, uh, this show is and this, you know, we just need to be fun and hope we're funny. I don't know. We might not be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we're all, you know, cause we gotta get back in the groove of being funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a big thing for comics is you gotta be, uh, you know, it's like hanging out with comedians. That's why too, I did, I've always thought about doing a podcast and the fact that you like, you should, uh, being funny is a muscle that you need to work. And when you're not, you know, when you're just watching like sad, it's contagion all day long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you majored in a lot of things. That's what sent you to community colleges. You had some wrong majors. It was, uh, I think I said communication was what my major was going to be. And I think I wanted to be a sports.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, there was no concept of what I was going to get out of college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went there, then I went to Western Kentucky for a semester. Again, all remedial classes. I felt bowling at Western Kentucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How'd you do that? Huh? I don't even know. It was more impressive. They told me it was more impressive than getting an A was to fail it. Uh, and I'm an unbelievable, I'm not that bad at bowling either. I've bowled a 266 is my high. In that class?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, just, but, but like since then, as a, when I got out of college and just on the local bowling circuit, me and my buddy Jeremy, they used to have in Hermitage in Nashville, they did quarter mania bowling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we used to go, uh, and we, we got like really good cause we'd go every Wednesday and bowl for like four hours. And so we ended up getting like pretty good. And now we go back to it and they do, it's like disco or it's like music bowling where it's like a night because now we're older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you go in, just the lights go off. It's like glow in the dark. Cosmic bowling. Cosmic bowling. And so you're just, and music is super loud and you're like, you know, I'm not a, I want the music down. I'm not a fun car ride.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't listen to music in the car? No, no, I can, I can listen to nothing. Like I like listening to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can listen to podcasts or I listen, I don't know, podcast, radio, like sports talk a lot. I like listening to a lot of talk radio. Uh, and I can also, I've been known to not cut the radio on for quite a bit. Like where it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You mean to what they did do in good and contagious, like, so the kid dies at the very beginning. So I'm not, I'm not getting anything away. Uh, but again, it's a movie. It's an old movie. It's an old movie, right? Yeah. So the kid dies, uh, cause he gets it, the mom and the kid, when, when the Paltrow's in this and she dies immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, which is pretty crazy, like her, she's just like, it's like, she's like, I can do this movie, but not that long. And they're like, alright, we're going to kill you off real fast. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she dies and the kid dies, but they don't really show it so, so much of the kid dying. It's not this like long drawn out thing, which I was happy with. So it's not this like tear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, now that you're dead, yeaah, man. Like, uh, I mean, commercials, anything, when you have a, uh, a kid, I think the older you get, my dad, my dad can cry. He cries all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I think once you hit a certain age, I'm 41, so I think you get 40 and above, just the water works, it's open man. You can just cry. I mean you try to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Balling, you know what I mean? Like there's no like, it's just like, you're not like- You don't lose it. I don't lose it. No, it's a very much like a dude trying to keep it together. But you can feel more emotions come out than I think normally. Than I did when I was a younger man. And I think it just gets worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's what I think, that it's just gonna keep going and like, it's gonna be a nightmare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That will be the last episode we do. It will be the end. I can't even predict it, I'm not saying, but I'm saying in the second episode of All Three of Us Cry, then this show is cancelled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we just taught him that he can type in the browser. It was the funniest. We, we, we had him looking up something on Google. So we said, just search it. And he goes to, in the browser, he goes to google.com to then type into the google doc to go into the page.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try to find it. I feel like as you older, you get, you just get steps like that in your life that you're like, yeah, you don't need that step anymore. You're like, I'll still use this other step. You went into it as if the internet was made yesterday and we were trying it and you're like, go to google.com first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then I had you go to the private window too. You just logged in. I'm just going to get your emails now because I'm the regular one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember, uh, you know the thing I was blown away by in technology wise? DVR. I remember when DVR, so I, I'm not going to give this joke away, but like, uh, cause I talk about it in my new hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was in between, so I didn't have computers and nothing growing up, but then I did have them, uh, when I was in high school. We had AOL and stuff, we got that. So I've seen, like we're, you know, I'm in a world that like I kind of in my formative years, I've grown up with nothing and then some, and then having stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I remember DVR, when I first heard about DVR, I could not wrap my head around it. And I mean, I was probably in my twenties, I guess it's been around for a while now. Has it been 10 years or whatever? But so it's been around for a while, but when I first heard it, I just couldn't understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like how are you recording live TV? Like, you know, I was like, where is it going? Like what's? And it was like the first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Technology thing that I just couldn't believe. Like I just didn't. It was just TiVo at that point, right? It was TiVo and I was like, you can rewind it. Like it doesn't make, it didn't make sense to me that that stuff works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it took a long time for me to, I'm not saying I even really get it now. I'd like you to explain it to us right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't go into the future. I think you think it goes into the future. It goes, I know, I think I can see what's going on tomorrow. I'll check tomorrow's weather. Fast forward to tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean, what's a hard drive, you know? I mean, how is this even working? How are we hearing this? There's a lot of stuff that's crazy. I think there's a lot of stuff that no one knows how it truly works. Like even these microphones, someone could like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would kind of tell you and then I think they would be like, eventually you would, they would get to a point and they go, I don't know, I mean, you know, it's a thing. You put a thing in there. Like they could talk to you a little bit about it and then they would go, then it's like a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy in the back coffin, you don't know what a car void is, but a car void is in between the coughs. I mean, we're in a pandemic, man. It's all we did. We did temperature checking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That works. You had, you actually had a COVID test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To go do that. Yeah. So, just so, so, Zanies in Nashville, which you weren't a Zanies, but Zanies in Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I did a show there a couple weeks ago. They're doing, they're doing all the proper things. They have the seats spread out. It doesn't look like it when you're, when everybody's in there, it does feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was less people, but it feels packed. But it's cause when you, when everybody would leave and you see the tables, they were properly the way they should be. And then when everybody gets in there, obviously, and no one's been out, so it even feels worse, you know, than it is. So we did a show, then D.L. Hughley was there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he did a show and he passed it on stage. I'm sure a lot of people saw that video. He just like started like rambling, you know, like something happened and then he passed out on stage and then tested positive for COVID. So everybody at Zany's had to get tested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, DL might still be in Nashville. He had a quarantine for 14 days. And then, uh, and he's fine now. He put videos out. And then, uh, as, as we know, no one's tested positive at Zanies from it. So it seems like no one's got it. Uh, but everybody had to go do it. Uh, your fiance, uh, she said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She works there. She tested negative. You had to get tested too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He just ended it. That guy beeped for him and goes, got a car here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terrible joke. He let him go. He's like, no, no, no, no, no, we were fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like they, they just, how many people are they going to talk to? How many people aren't comfortable? And like, so it's like, yeah, it's, it's, I get it. You want to be fun and funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have it. That's good. Did they, did they do the antibody test too? No, I don't have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And see if you've had it. Yeaah. That's crazy, man. That's, uh, you know, I wonder if everybody's gonna have to get it, like the test. Like you think we're just slipped through the cracks and not do a test or does everybody have to go do the test?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just a cool time to say you had it. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's like a pig or something. And then, yeah. Yeah, a pig had it first. Just, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, yeah, and then it makes it way worse. He's like, I've never done it like this. Like you don't want them to say, like that's the thing they say before they do it. I've never tried it like this. I'm what you do. What have you pulled up and you hear the guy just go, I'm going to try this one with my left hand. And then you just see like, and he's just like, he's nervous with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you would let him do your left hand? Hold a pen with your left hand. Are you like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you not feel a little sketchy with this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And if you had a, like, you don't think you would be, you don't think you would, you would be like, no, no, no, no. Now do your right hand. I mean, I prefer he uses his right hand. Yeah. I feel amazing. I think I could give you the test with my right hand. With your right hand? Left hand, I feel uncomfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we had, we tried to get it, uh, when I was growing up, my brother had it. And so like as most parents do, they, uh, my brother, they would make us sleep in the same bed. They were trying to make me get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they want you just to get it, to get over with it. And I never got it and I still haven't had it. And I think we even did it to see if I like, maybe I did have it, didn't know, but, and I was like, Oh, maybe I'm immune to it. That just told people that. And I don't think that's true. Uh, the chickenpox still, I think they're still around. Let me get on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, so come back, we're going to do a commercial break as Brian looks up this for 40 minutes. He's still typing in the Google, uh, checkbox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now it's preventable by a vaccine. So now you shouldn't get it, right? There, uh, yeaah. You shouldn't get it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, that's good. That's something. That's the positive news today, guys. Chickenpox is out of the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On to the next, like a news person that goes, turns out guys, chickenpox is on the decline. Anyway, up next, Aaron Weber, as in not the basketball player, the grill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next, we're going to talk to Aaron Weber, like the grill, not the basketball player, about his COVID test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, at the Houston Oilers drive in, they said that it's a real, that would be like a sports, like they get someone non-sports to go cover it. And they're like, I'm at the Houston Oilers facilities. And it was like, what? Uh, speaking of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One, pronouncing a name, first of all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like my name, uh, has been pronounced many different ways and, uh, uh, it's something I do get asked a lot and by a lot, maybe six people, but they asked me how to say it. So Jimmy Fallon would always say Barghazi and that's how he said it. And I honestly think I say, we say it wrong as our family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think we pronounced, I think our accent just made us trail off and we pronounced it wrong. And, uh, we say Barghetsi. Barghetsi instead of Bargottsi. But I, I accept all sayings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been, you know, whatever anybody's going to say, which we, I did a little fun fact. I did the ancestry.com thing, right? So we're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, what I've always been told, we're Italian. Our family comes from like Northern Italy, I guess, near Switzerland. Uh, that's when I learned those two places touch. And they, uh, and I think it's Northern, I don't even know, could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they, so that we're Italian. That's what we've always said my whole life. We're Italian, all that stuff. I used to have a joke about I'm Italian, but we're not good Italian. We're all that. So then I do ancestor.com. Get it back. Zero percent Italian. Zero. None of it. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my whole life, I thought I was Italian. And I told someone in my family, who's older, I said, it said zero percent Italian. And he's like, well, that's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not right. So he is against the science of it, which I love that he's like, that's, he's old enough to be like, I'm not, it's not, who, who, who are they to know? Which is true. You're just spitting in a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole ancestry didn't come. Uh, which I, you know, good. I mean, you do just spit in a thing. So you're like, I dunno, who knows where this thing goes, but it said zero. It wasn't a little, it wasn't a hint. It was, I mean, it was like they drove to my house and said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're out of your mind, you've been telling people like they were upset about it. Yeah. And, uh, so that, that changed everything. But so I actually, I was like looking up some stuff and when I, if you type my name in Google, I saw, uh, pronunciation came up and you can listen to how people pronounce it and, and to see which one's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good. Yeah, he's got a little bit of an accent. Go to the third one. I think the third one is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I think that's about right. Now let's go to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. I've been, by the way, my name, people have said my name like this, that are all just American. It's like a different- That was Nate Barkensa? Do a, do a, go to Dutch. See what Dutch is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so another thing, so I have a Google alert set up on my name. And uh, I'd imagine, I hope a lot of comics do, and I don't seem like I'm just a nightmare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's usually nothing that you get Google Earth about. It's like your album's been downloaded illegally. It's all just that kind of stuff. But sometimes I'll get like a net worth thing and my net worth is, it's always like kind of ridiculous. Uh, you know, cause I'm not famous enough that like they haven't like scoured


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like you go look at other people's stuff. It's like all like very scoured. I'm on the fringe where maybe someone's kind of trying, but they're not really trying. And, uh, I mean, one of them said my net worth was $80 million. And I showed my wife that I was like, we were getting the pool. We have a lot of money. Uh, there's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's wrong. It's my birthday is March 25th and I was born in 1979, but it says June 30th, 1976. So right off the bat. Dude, I think I just got a happy birthday from someone. It's the, it used to be that when you go, if you, my Wikipedia or something, something said June 30th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know where that came from, but today, that's pretty funny. Today's my happy birthday. Man's big day. 1976. How old am I? Uh, 44, 44 years old. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm 41, March 25th. I wanna make sure. I'm like, how does that stuff get out? As I just said, I'm the only one that's saying it. You're like, well, you're saying it. That's how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it says I'm from Old Hickory, Tennessee and he was also raised there. I was, uh, I was born in Old Hickory and also raised there. I was born in downtown Nashville, Baptist hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, my, my real parents, Steven and Dorisa, uh, had me, I was born in Old Hickory. I had three siblings. Okay. This is, I've learned of, I thought I only had two, but it turns out I have three. Uh, one brother, Warf Bargetzi, W-R-F.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Warf, Warf Bargetzi, my other sister Paige, and my other sister Hardy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hardy Barghetti. And that's a girl? Uh, it's a girl. Worf, Paige and Hardy. They're all my siblings. Worf? Worf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's just like, just put stuff in, you know? Uh, I am married. My wife, uh, Nate Barghetti is married to his wife named Shaddy Barghetti. S-H-A-T-T-Y. Barghetti, that's my wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Shaddy. Which fits in, I mean, you would think, like, his wife's name's Shaddy. You're like, well, that's a weird name. You're like, well, he grew up with a wharf and hearty. Do you think it's that weird, like, that he married a Shaddy? Like, that's not, that would be, it would fit with, like, what you're attracted to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's like a breakfast hearty. She's a big girl. Uh, she's big and war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Warf, we've lost contact with Warf. We haven't talked to him in a while. Uh, we don't know where he's at. But, who got into some deep?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As well, uh, it says I'm five foot eight too, which I'm like five, 10, five, 11. I like to say five, 11. I think I'm pushing five, 11, but probably five, 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So you think that was like when we named her, when we named Oliver. Yeah, cause it's a girl. So it's not Oliver. It's, uh, Olivier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So maybe that's the Olivia joke. Maybe that's where that, and then they went Olivier. Cause then someone said, I bet his daughter's name is Olivia. He talks about that on Netflix and they go, he's not going to use the real name. I bet it's Olivier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had a couple girls, Dutch and Olivier, you know? Dutch is a solid, could go boy or girl name. Uh, that might be it. Uh, I've had no, I've been linked to no controversy rumors and legal issues. So that's wrong. Uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, there's a real wharf on Star Trek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, like, uh, Billy, uh, that's like the opposite of, uh, when, what's it, when you sleep, when a baby sleeps on their head and their head gets flat. Oh, the cone head thing? The cone head. That's like if they, if he slept face forward, like too long and the parents never gave him a helmet to straighten him back out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like an owl. I posted a picture of that yesterday. So they, uh, this is how owls sleep, apparently. Baby owls sleep face down because their heads are too heavy to hold up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I know, well, he's asleep. Uh, that's how my sleep too. Uh, don't presume this podcast is not about presuming. We don't know what the motive of that owl was, if he killed that mouse or not. Uh, but they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get sent like, uh, animals lying down, like how they sleep. That's like my thing, you know. Like I just get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get, I get coffee stuff all day long and then I get any animals. But this one was a good one. I mean, and Al sleeping like that is just, it looks like he had a night. I mean, he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just couldn't make it. I mean, can you hear me? He's like, oh! He just wakes up the next morning, just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The barred beard or barred owl can turn its head, it's at 270 degrees in each direction, which means they can look to the left by rotating all the way to the right or vice versa. So they can basically,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go, uh, look up an owl x-ray. Someone posted that. They said, look that up. And, uh, cause their legs are real, something's real weird. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they, I think someone, well, I don't know, you know, I've been called out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before I had a guy message me cause I posted a dead horse, you know, but not dead horse, the horse laying down. I have a joke about that. And a guy sent me a DM and said he wants to punch me in the face for, for, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For posting dead animal pictures, like that's my thing. Which to be fair to him after this owl one, it might be my thing. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, but he did this whole big thing. You, who do you think you're, I mean, he was like real mean. And, uh, I never really comment to DMs, especially like mean ones. They have a rule. There's a good rule that I think everybody could use in real life. If you get something, if someone's mean to you on the internet or they do something, you give yourself 24 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you want to comment after 24 hours, then you're more than welcome to comment. But you will never want to comment after 24 hours. You're over it. You don't care. But in the heat of the moment, you want to engage. So you got to give yourself 24 hours. This guy...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw it said seen, so we saw it. And that's all. And that was enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, who does this guy, what world are we living in that this guy can just post it in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, people, it's disgusting, the people that like it, that like that kind of stuff. Uh, I always get, I'll get some mean ones sometimes where they tell me my comedy stinks, but you can always look at the time and it's always like 4, 30 a.m. and you're like, that guy is about to go to sleep like that owl, like he's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is loaded and those are kind of fun to sometimes cause, uh, sometimes you're like, ah, I'm sorry, man. Yeah. I wish I, you like me and whatever, but I hope you have a good night. I just say something like that because the next day they're like, I'm so embarrassed about me. Like they just feel so bad. Like, cause they, cause they were like, I got tore up last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were doing it before COVID, but trying to get through, uh, I was showing my daughter, uh, the Star Wars movies. And so I, I can end up looking up a bunch of stuff. I look on like how you're supposed to watch things. Uh, I like looking stuff up. And, uh, I, the route that we chose was the machete order, which if you don't know the machete order,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like most things, he's mostly skeptical and then I make sense. Probably 95% of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they have the, that's when Luke and, uh, Leia, Princess Leia


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does that make sense? It makes sense. It's preserving the Luke storyline is what the guy says. What's funny is I don't even really care. Like I'm not even, I like Star Wars, but I'm not a, I'm not a huge Star Wars guy or like I'm not, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, uh, Marvel, like, I'm not, my, my brother, my dad and my brother are way into this kind of stuff. I was never Harry Potter. I was never, like, I'm just not into like fan, a ton of fantasy. I like Superman. I like all this. I like him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm just, there's, uh, this is a very intense way to do it. But I was just looking for some, uh, you know, way to like show her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so that's how I stumbled upon this. What, the one thing that she was like, Luke being...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her big surprises, I think, for her, when we did this order, A, when the Death Star blows up, was one of the funnest moments I got to see as I'm gonna cry. No, I'm joking. I think I started crying the first episode. I didn't make it out of the first episode, I'm gonna start crying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then seeing, uh, when we actually watched Jar Jar Binks, we, at first we started, I was going to just write them, watch them all in order. But then she sees the Luke, the father, and then, uh, but Princess Leia being his sister was a big surprise too for her to figure that out. And then, so, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, she's seven, so I don't know if she was diving into, I mean, watching a couple were pretty easy. Then after that, it was kind of making her, I'm making her watch them. Like, I mean, she got kind of like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She teased me with it. She said, we can watch Star Wars. Like if you let me stay up, we'll watch Star Wars. Like that's how she gets to watch it. Uh, but so she did that. And so yeah, I mean, I kind of told her, but like, you know, I don't know how much she.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're better, the older ones. I think it's easier to watch. It's not as scary as, uh, the newer ones. And so it's easier, it's easier for them to watch is, you know, not as bad. We're thinking about Harry Potter next is, uh, the plan. I don't think I've ever watched. I've watched maybe a couple of Harry Potters. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I read, uh, I've read some books. They, what have I read? Uh, I read, uh, what's the... Hunger Games? Hunger Games. I read the Hunger Games. Oh, okay. All the Hunger Games. I loved it. Uh, I went through a nice book phase. Uh, kind of out of it right now, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read, uh, Hunger Games. I loved the book was awesome. Uh, I read, I remember my dad wanted me to read Hobbit and I just was like, yeah. And I thought I was like, he wants me to read it just to read it, but I was, I just don't care. Like, and then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never seen Lord of the Rings, never really watched those. I read, but I read, I read a lot of military, like, you know, like some of those lone survivor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, so, I don't know. Start trailing off, I don't know. I've read some stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of Seinfeld references. I read his unauthorized biography. You ever read those? It's kind of crazy. Someone writes a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's a, it's a guy that writes these books. And so they, they, like they did one on Jordan. That was a big one. It was doing Michael Jordan, like, uh, and you read his, like the Jordan rules was all just a guy that, that, that was not like a part of the group. They talked about it at the last dance, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was, you know, that's a big thing, but they had one on Seinfeld I read a long time ago and they're all pretty good. I mean, sometimes those are the ones, you know, it's hard to tell if you feel bad because it's like getting written by some dude. Uh, but those are the ones I think that you get more out of it than you would from a guy that's not going to be open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To talk about stuff, like, you know, I mean, Jordan's not going to talk about being mean to BJ Armstrong in his book, like, but that guy did and they fought and all the stuff that kind of came out in Last Dance that, uh, that he did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I don't know. I read, I like that kind of stuff. I haven't read a book in a while though. It actually has been a while. And I enjoy it. I enjoy reading. I would read it at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, or embed, I should do that. Do you read the Dan Brown books?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I did. Oh yeah. What's that movie? Da Vinci Code? Da Vinci Code. I read Da Vinci Code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, wait, have I seen this movie before? You think that, but I think I've watched movies twice and I don't even have that thought. Like I'm just like, ain't it good? No, we haven't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't seen it. Yeah, I can do that where your mind kind of wanders and then you, you know, you don't know where you're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You know, you don't fold it, fold the- Fold the page, Aaron. Oh, you're right, I mean yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you have a bunch of folded parts, and then you get too many and you're like, well which one was the one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, you know, you can get a bookmark, note card works, just regular paper at your house. I mean, there's a lot of things. You can put a lot of stuff in them. A pen, you can just throw a pen in the middle of the book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All these things. Baby Al style. Just put it face down. Face down. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you just do that? Do you go back and try to read it? Oh, no. Yeah. No. You just get done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might knock something out of the COVID test. Did y'all watch anything while you waited in line?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever get in a car when someone talks, like has their music super loud? And like when they're driving, there's like four of you. Like have you ever done that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone dying and I'll be like, just like, you know, fun listening to it. Cause I like to beat. I'm not a good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ignore the words. He's all about the beat. I'm about the beat. I don't think about the words. I don't think, like, I'm never listening to it going, what's this song about? I don't know what any songs are about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, is that, is that like a thing that people talk about or is that just you saying that? Is that like something that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 40,000. The rhythm of that was just so good. I couldn't, I couldn't do it. You know, maybe it is. Uh, all right. Uh, we're doing good. We got to be close. Are we like an hour? Uh, we're right at an hour. Felt it. Uh, it's pretty good. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think we will do these. I mean, I have ideas of just doing this. We could, uh, how long this goes? An hour? More? I don't know. You know, it's about being fun and funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one thing I do want to try, and I want to try it for the next one, we brought Krispy Kreme donuts. We had them today for everybody. I get them every day, but I thought I would use it today. But yeah, I'll go by there. Are they still open? I always act like that every time I go, are they still, or is it the one that's over the, you ask a few times. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we had crispy donuts for people coming today. And, uh, Aaron...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, so he said he could, you said you could eat 36, but I mean, how many do you honestly think you could eat? I think I can eat a lot too. I don't, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I was starving, but I would get, like, I can eat a lot, dude. I can eat them almost every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I could probably, I could maybe do a dozen, I could maybe not, but I mean, how many do you honestly think you could do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well how many of those could you eat? Do Krispy Kreme. See if there's a record for Krispy Kreme.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You like eating so much that you are into the athletes that do it. You know, I had a fun joke about the hot dog eating contest a long time ago, uh, about that, like, there's no fat people and like, you would think the guy that eats the most hot dogs should be like, weigh 400 pounds. And the guy's in the greatest, the guy that Joey just is in terrific shape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So fat people are not even good at what they're good at, that they get beat out by just tiny skinny. Like it's so crazy to me that you have to be ripped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like muscular to eat all of these hot dogs. You would think, I mean, don't you think you would just have a dude just plops up there? Where he's just enormous and just pounds all these hot dogs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now we're talking, I know, we're talking about the podcast, we'll do it. But so, you're saying that they had a show, and it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we do it where you, you just keep getting served and you, and who has to end up leaving the table? Who can stay? How long can you stay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just, you hear them go, what's that? This is a competition? Uh, I thought this was the line for hot dogs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In an hour? Yea, just the link to this podcast, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't, I mean, you shouldn't be doing it if you, if you have to do, that's a problem. Yeah, do we need a doctor? Yeah, like that's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you got a hotel room? Go get a hotel room. They did, there was a Ray Romano, they, uh, and some thing he shot, uh, about doing comedy. They did that somewhere. They, they actually got a hotel room. Wow. Cause they, like, you know, they had to go to the bathroom and did something they couldn't do. So they just, they found some hotels like 50 bucks and they're like, yeah, it is what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you gotta sit, it's what you think you can do here. So you think, yeah, 24, where we get 24?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll have 36. I'll have 36 here. Okay. And we'll see what you can do. Okay. And I think me and Bates could do, uh, I'm, by the way, I'm not against, I'm not like being like you're a big dude. Let's try to see how much you need. You say you could eat 36 to a breeze. That's interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta be. You can't mix it up. Yeah. Right, just glazed. Uh, might get some chocolate for myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd just be curious to see what you can do. I mean, we had people, I think you could eat 12. I'll sit here with you, I'll try to see what I can get through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll do, I'll see if I can do a dozen. I'll see what I can get through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's out. He's out. This is, uh, he's got it. I don't want to get the computer dirty. He's got to take his medicine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, so next week, we're gonna get it. I'll see what I can get through, you see what you get through. Okay. He'll, he'll do it and then we're, uh, and we'll just be doing that as we do the podcast. Sure. It'll be fun. So, alright, uh, alright, well that, I mean, that was it, this first episode. I think we did, you know, we did it. It's something, this is something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have something going on, hand sanitizer. Everybody's temperature was below what they're supposed to be, uh, which is good. So, uh, all right, I think that's it. So we're seeing, see you next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that the idea? It's like a nostalgia thing, like you show up with some friends and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do they have a TV, not from the 90s? That might be a deal breaker. They have some old, you know, huge,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're rubbing it in at this point. I mean, come on. Do you think BJ Maxwell is dropping that word in conversation very often? I don't think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I've never heard, I never said it out loud. Cause people don't speak like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you maybe want more than one source on a three page essay. Was it just one fact, the whole essay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's become my favorite running joke is just calling Brian different names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember your hitman theory is if you kill a hitman who's coming for you, then you have to become- You have to, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember reading that a long time ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't know if it's true. What did the plot end up being?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That the original plot of that movie was that Tim Allen kills Santa Claus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's what I was saying. I was, I would read that the original plot was that he murdered them and then they softened it because it's the children's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nothing's done. Pedia sure is the, for kids, right? For dogs. I don't think it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you start trying to write marriage stuff, like from the get go? Cause when you started, you're already married, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they go, Oh, he was raised this way. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. You've had plenty of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next memorial day to get married, so we're gonna be engaged about a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you connect me with some of your census takers, please? I'd like to talk to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Usually they go door to door, but I don't know if they're doing that with COVID going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying is next year we'll have more. You would do it. We'll have more data.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? But 26 is a little bit older than...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if it's coming waves, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're that worried about it, why not just sign a prenup? Cause you want to avoid an awkward conversation with the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause she set it up with me when I was like 15.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I wanted to get a savings account and I just, you have to go into the bank to take her off. I'm just so late. She's still on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She hasn't given me money in a while, but, um, yeah, she could. She could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She did call me a couple of years ago and was like, Hey, could you stop getting into negative? Cause it's messing up by, it was like messing up her credit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because she was like, you can't go below zero. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can do it. So you're $20 in 1997. I'm going to guess. $34.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's probably not healthy if you're in a relationship where you figure out what percentage of the household income you account for and then you only pay for that percent. Like that would be, that sounds like a nightmare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say that's really interesting because I've heard, I've heard it said the other way. I have too. Where just the idea of wanting to bring another person into this world is selfish with all, you know, all the people that, you know, orphanages and well, that's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I can't. I'd love to coach my kids little league team and all that. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not, there's no choice involved at this point, right? It's still. Certainly not for the women. Yeah, I'm guessing a lot of these marriages are just, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Arranged and set up by the families or whoever else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what was the, I bet the average life span back then was probably, I mean, if you made it to your forties, that was impressive. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think like a renaissance fair. That's what's going on. Walk around with turkey legs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have a good time. Yeah. But also loads of death and suffering and disease and everything else. This is the black plague was around then, wasn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a big s- yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah, there weren't many... advancements.


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[Assistant] But in terms of technology and stuff like that, I mean, what's the difference between 500 and 1500? I don't know.


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[Assistant] So you were thinking of cannons.


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[Assistant] An arm rest above the year, you can lean up against it. That's the dream.


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[Assistant] This is interesting, you don't have your, Brian's wearing his wedding ring.


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[Assistant] You're not wearing yours, why don't you, you just don't like the way it feels?


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[Assistant] So part of your relief that it was that you found it was part of you. Like, man, I wish.


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[Assistant] But the gap also matters less as you get older.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I guess so. I mean, when you're younger, it does.


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[Assistant] That's true, there's no, there's no legal status.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but she wrote the notes. That's so funny that she wrote the notes. He couldn't write his own note to give to him.


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[Assistant] I'm always fascinated by this couples that commit crimes together. It's like who brings it up first?


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[Assistant] You know, nothing's ever truly mutual. It's like somebody has to bring it up first and then you're saying you just know deep down she would be down.


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[Assistant] But those car rides after the bank robberies were, were brutal.


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[Assistant] And just the adrenaline and the shared experience of robbing a bank together probably, I mean.


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[Assistant] Where, I mean, Beyonce couldn't date a normal person. There'd be no shared life experience at all. It'd be impossible.


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[Assistant] I bet Oprah's life is much different now than it was when they started.


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[Assistant] So Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep, that would be a tough marriage.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's okay to compartmentalize like that. You know? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Stand up over here and then I go back and live a life that's not revolving around.


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[Assistant] Too much. I thank God every day that she doesn't do comedy, but she's in comedy, so.


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[Assistant] I thank God every day. That's not, nothing to do with her specifically, just, you know.


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[Assistant] But, but since she is in comedy and knows about it, we can...


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[Assistant] Talk about it and, and she's okay with me traveling and being gone nights and stuff. Yeah, she gets it. Yeah, for sure.


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[Assistant] What's up everybody? This is, uh, Nate Bergetse at the Nate Land podcast. Uh, this is the second episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, the first one, I think that we're going to plan on releasing both we released, uh, today or, you know, the day that this is July, which is my daughter's birthday. Happy birthday, Harper.


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[Assistant] Uh, I've gone through some hole, like, I mean, you're getting, uh, some, uh, rabbit hole, is what they say. Uh, I, I don't do it often.


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[Assistant] So I don't have it. I'm not really checking it much. And I feel like that's helped, you know, just, especially now, like when we're just at home and it's like, you just end up just staring at it all night and I'll do it. Like Sarah, I would try to watch TV and then you end up just looking at your phone. I get so annoyed with myself that I'm like watching TV. That's it's not like I'm.


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[Assistant] Reading a book or something that feels like, you know, like a lot of work. It's just watching a show. And, uh, so I'll just end up scrolling, looking at my phone. So I took everything's off my phone right now.


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[Assistant] And I have looked at YouTube comments. Uh, sometimes I don't know, occasionally you go check and then start looking at some stuff and YouTube is the most brutal. It's awful, man. Yeah. YouTube's tough. They, people aren't there. It's the wild west. I mean, they go after you hard and, uh,


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[Assistant] I've tried to think I had, I mean, I did it recently and it can affect you. It affects like how you do comedy. Like you're B, you realize, you know, I always get, like I say, um, a lot or um, like, you know, and so then I've consciously tried to think of that sometimes during my act and I'll try not to say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It still does, you know, try to still, you're going to say it, everybody says it. That person that comments says it. Yeah, exactly. So it's just the way we talk and the humans talk. They, as they think, you know, they use that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, those are, those are tough. Well, people be nice, you know, cause people always, you never post the nice stuff. People always post the mean comments. Uh, so that probably doesn't help that they're the ones that get the most. If they get anything, it's that you post the mean ones, but the mean ones can sometimes be the funniest or, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, that's why you end up doing it. I mean, the nice ones are always truly appreciated when everybody's like, it's great. And there's definitely more of those than there is the hate from it. Maybe not on YouTube comments, YouTube comments, I mean.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, that's like, uh, so I've heard people talk about that where you should have to, like on social media, like you should have to have your name next to it. Like you don't matter what it is. If you're leaving a comment, you should have to have your real name. So that would, you know, cause yeah, you're not going to be like a crazy person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you, it's like your actual name and people can track your jobs right there. Because I mean, look, people, regular people can get fired from their jobs. You know, it's not like it's just this celebrity cancel culture thing. It's regular.


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[Assistant] Yeah, pull up one of these. Yeah, click. I don't, it doesn't matter. I don't know which one.


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[Assistant] Uh, full time magic, something a lot of, a lot of people haven't seen. A big reason for that is it was, uh, it aired the same night of the Mayweather Pacquiao fight.


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[Assistant] The same night, and I, so we were, I was doing the Tonight Show, uh, to promote it, and that's when they told me that


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[Assistant] Backstage or, and I asked the conversation, I was like,


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[Assistant] You know, you're, we're airing this the same night the Mayweather Pacquiao fight and they're like, ah, you know, that fight's a hundred dollars. Like, I don't think people are going to pay that for that fight. And it's like, I mean, they actually were in some third world country. You're like, a hundred dollars is not insane. And you can get 20 people to come and throw in $5 and everybody watches it. That's what people do. They watch it in these big fights.


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[Assistant] So, it's not that, what's funny, we watched, I watched the fight, didn't watch my own special. It aired, so what I, what I ended up doing was, uh, which we talked about, I ended up trying to make a joke about it, like saying that it's airing this same night, cause I was hoping like, just, you might as well accept it. And they aired it, they agreed, they aired it back to back, so they aired it at midnight and 1am. Uh, but the fight started, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it was running late, that fight was, and it started the second my special started airing at midnight. I mean, to the minute, it just like, they both started and I was like, were you over there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, there's other stuff. Football was, did football mix in? No, it was in the spring. Yeah, maybe it was NBA playoffs. There was a golf tournament.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it was a day that's like one of the craziest days ever in sports. Uh, and then the Mayweather Pacquiao fight and then the neighbor gets like that magic.


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[Assistant] That's what it's like. Yeaah, yeaah, it was like that. O.J. Simpson just got out that day, no. Uh, yeaah, it was, the best one I heard, uh, and I don't know if it's true, but someone said, uh, Norm McDonald's special aired on Earth Day, where they told everybody to turn their TVs off. And so if that's true, he would win, uh, as far as, that's a pretty great win.


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[Assistant] I mean, every network, every people that make television, all television was like, do not turn your TV on today. Go outside.


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[Assistant] You know, spend a day out, everybody's like, all right. And his special comes out that day. Uh, ours was, so that was the Mayweather Pacquiao fight. And another thing too with that, so if you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you see my s- that special, which I don't know if you can see in that clip. Just play that clip, you don't have to play the volume. Uh, sorry, see my-


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[Assistant] My hair kinda does that little, above my right eye, it kinda curves over.


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[Assistant] When you do a special, you tape two shows and then you edit together the best of those two shows. So when we got here to do this special in New York, they did not have a hair person.


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[Assistant] What's funny is like, so I'm, my buddy Anthony Jesling, I was talking to him about, we were talking about taping a special. He goes,


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[Assistant] And then we have someone that person that did my makeup was like, here, I'll just do your hair. So my hair, I have this swoop, but then in the other show that swoop is not there. So in the edits, I don't think anybody, I mean, some people noticed, but if you, if, if you can't see now it's gone in this clip.


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[Assistant] And now, that's a huge difference. And I mean, I just don't think people pay attention. Those people are laughing at me.


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[Assistant] And so now when I do a special, I'm soup, I have a hair person and we take a picture and to make sure that it's the same. Cause people can have two like shirts. You can wear a shirt that's like, it gets weird. Uh, the collar could be different in both shows. I mean, TJ Miller, he has an HBO special. His is so funny cause he gets, he pours water on himself. So like the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The wet spots are different and they just go back and forth. But I mean, I think that's part of what he does is like, but it's just funny that, I mean, his, I mean, it'll be like, his shirt's like wet, then not wet, then back to wet. Uh, but mine is just that hair. The hair looks good there. And then for some reason.


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[Assistant] Before that, it was, uh, not good, you know. So when you did the Tennessee Kid...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had a hair person, but then your shoes. I'm the Tennessee kid. I forgot. So the shoes that I wore and the Tennessee kid, uh, I.


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[Assistant] We're staying, is right, we shot it, uh, outside of Atlanta, Duluth, was it, not Duluth, Duluth, Georgia? Yeah. Uh, and so we were staying downtown Atlanta at the hotel, cause that's where most of the hotels were.


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[Assistant] We, I go, you know, everything's laid out, we get to the show, uh, we're about to, we're, I mean, 10 minutes from starting, and I go to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I finish getting dressed and I go to get my shoes. My shoes, I left them at the hotel. So, and the hotel is 30 minutes away.


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[Assistant] And so they take a picture and they were just going to bring my wife's running shoes. Like my wife's like regular sneaker shoes. They're like pink.


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[Assistant] Just some shoes. I mean, I had my brother, I was going to wear his shoes and he had like some kind of boots. We were just looking to go in the audience and be like, everybody put your feet up. Let me see what kind of shoes you got. And thankfully, uh, it got there. We started late because of that.


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[Assistant] Uh, Brian had to go on and just like stretch in due time. Like we had to wait for these shoes to get there. Uh, and they made it.


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[Assistant] Stuff like that, that's little, that's like smart, where you see someone do something smart, someone that's been in that situation before, where they go, no, you need them to take a picture because they might bring the wrong thing. And I mean, it was a good 30, 40 minutes before we got them. And I mean, if you went through all that and then they just show up


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[Assistant] You know, my daughter's shoes and like, you're like, no, that's not good. Uh, and then you're just back to like square one. It would have been, it would have been bad. I could have, that special could have went with a bad shoes. Uh, so is there any YouTube that 20 to 40 thing was funny? Is there any more?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I get that a lot. Uh, but he's smart because no one makes it in comedy without being pretty sharp. Well, thank you. Uh, I get a lot of people just being like, this guy is, uh... Somebody said Rich Voss did. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I get, a lot of people tell me, you know, they're like, ah, you're smart. Like they, they, you know, they, they tell me that as, uh, it's like, no, man, you're, you're really smart. And then you're like, okay, I appreciate it. I'm not like book smart. Like, I don't know. Like I can't.


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[Assistant] You know, I know what I'm talking about in my thing, and I know when to not get into something. I know, like, I don't ever get into, if there's an argument, I'm not diving in some, I'll get crushed in an argument.


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[Assistant] I mean, that's, everybody says that all the time too. They're like, no, you're just, cause I say I'm dumb. And then they're like, you're not dumb. I feel like they want to like root me on, you know, like, oh man, you're like, all right, appreciate it. You know, it's all very nice, you know.


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[Assistant] I feel like you have a good, you're like, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's a, yeah. Hey, thank you guys. Yeah. Yeah. You know, makes me feel good. Uh, I was the, like Tony Soprano was like fat, but he was like a good fat, like he could take his shirt off and you're like, all right, like, you know.


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[Assistant] That's a good, that's a good fat. Yeah. I'm not saying I think you look worse than Jim. Bobby Bacala over here.


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[Assistant] One of the kids in the family. Okay. You could, you could definitely show up. John Candy, dude, I, uh, you know, I asked someone, I was like, if you could, you know, they talk about like, if you could bring back someone to life, like who would you bring back to life? Like, would you bring back him, between him and Chris Farley? Who would you choose? John Candy or Chris Farley?


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[Assistant] For me, I would choose John Candy. And I think, by the way, you'd want both. They're both unbelievable. Uh, they're both amazing. But John Candy...


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I think he was on, was he on SNL? Or he was on... Nah, he was on the Canadian version. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Okay, but he's just so funny and just, and he could do, he, he could, I mean, he would do like serious stuff. Like, you know, even in playing transolvables, he has this big speech. It's like just beautiful. Yeah. I'd be curious if that held up for you, like seeing it for the first time.


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[Assistant] It's good. It's, it's, uh, he, John Candy to me is like, when you just go back and watch him, it was so, he's so impressive.


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[Assistant] It's so funny and it's, he's just, I don't know, he's loving it. I mean, Chris Farley is the same way. It's, you know, it's a tough, you know, it's a not, it's a tough question to, but I think most people would think, say Chris Farley, but I don't think they think about what John Candy did. Great outdoors.


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[Assistant] I was, uh, I don't think you really wanted to do it.


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[Assistant] I have a doctor, but they, it's like, just like a new person that's in that office. Like every doctor you go to, we can't take new patients. And I just get someone that's just, I mean, they're, she's very nice. I think they know what to do. She's just super young and like, you know, like in training, I guess. She's not an actual doctor.


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[Assistant] It's fine. It doesn't look that bad. And that would be enough. You know, they should be, you should have an office of that. We're just someone that's like, I'm not a doctor, but I've worked in a doctor's office. I've seen everything come in and out when you just want a quick, like, Hey, does this look cool? Is this weird? And they're like, nah, that's probably fine. And that person you should have, we should start that business of just, it's you go in and just for the quick and easy, you know,


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[Assistant] If you start a new diet, they're like, talk to your doctor. You're like, I'm just going to start it. I don't know. I can't. I just think like dieting.


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[Assistant] You know, uh, I've done millions of diets and tried different things. All of them are just, you know, like it's because the problem is like everybody we hear about, like my old joke about it, like the four body, you know, like they're, but everybody that starts with it talks about a diet.


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[Assistant] They, it's a very like healthy person that tells you like, you don't want to do that. Like it doesn't, like when they're, you're like, I'm going to do no carbs. Like you don't want to do no carbs. You need car. But when someone that doesn't diet, you're like, yeah, man, just stick to something. If you ate cereal every day, that would probably be better than what most people, if you just stuck, if you were like, I just want to eat


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[Assistant] I dunno, any, any, like I'm just gonna eat like, you know, no bread, like just steaks, whatever that, the carnivore diet.


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[Assistant] I'll be like, I'm going to start, I go, I start the most extreme diet. You know, I tried the carnivore. I was like, well, I'm going to just do that. I'll just eat meat three times a day. The carnivore diet? It's just steak. You just eat like, just meat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, and so you start that and, but then, you know, when you read stuff, they're like, no, you don't want to do that. It's bad for this and bad for that. But it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, what I'm doing is bad. What I'm doing regularly is bad. If I'm eating fast food, I'm eating all this stuff, that's bad. So just start, you know, you don't gotta talk to your doctor about this stuff. Just start it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's, you're not gonna, I just don't think you're gonna go from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is going to just a regular person that probably eats fast food, you know, a few times a week to then just go eat meat every day. It's not like that person's like, you're like, well now you're going to be, you have a heart attack because you did. No, you were on your way to a heart attack. So just eat the meat all day. That's what happened.


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[Assistant] I saw my doctor at a red light and I rolled the window and I said, hey, I'm, uh, that's the only time I talk to him about seeing him. Oh, there's my doctor. Uh, I don't, I mean, there's times I don't know if I would even recognize my doctor out. I never had a doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, until recently. I don't even know if you have a doctor now. It's half and a half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't know if I do. I don't, yeah, I've never really had like a, I was, how do people get these doctors? I don't even know where you go. I had to look, I would Google, how do you get, what do you got to do to get a doctor? Or I asked my wife. I'm like, I need a doctor. Like I should be going to someone. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd wait. Yeah, what if they just, they want to wait? Could you have said that? I guess you can, but I'll wait till he gets back.


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[Assistant] What's up man? What's wrong? Like, I feel like those guys take it less serious. What's up man? What are you talking about? But did he answer your questions? I mean, I guess. He seems surprised that I would come see him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. He dives in. He's got a note, dude. That's like nurses. They always say that, like nurses at hospitals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do everything. Like, they're the ones that get to do- Pure chicken. Uh, fish. Yeah. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The nurses at a hospital, they do, they do it all. That's who you're seeing majority of the time. The doctor comes in. You know, when Harper was born,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know 20, I don't remember how much time it was because it's such a crazy moment, but it's like 20 minutes. He's just in it and then he's like, all right, see you later. And then he leaves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think they do. I mean, I think they have to time, you know, they just do it. Like how quick can they come and go? Like he's like, I mean, I bet there's times he can be at a dinner and then he's like, I gotta go. He delivers a baby and can make it back to the dinner. Can you imagine that? Like you're a doctor, you come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Just leave it. Can you imagine coming back and then you just sit there and you're like, what'd you go do? Did you go to the bathroom? Be like, nah, I delivered a baby. I welcomed a life into this earth. And now you're just back like eating and your food's not even that cold. I bet that happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you just, a lot's happening. Uh, you know, I mean, you got a baby being born and so it's, it's, it's all, you know, I cut them, my wife and mom had a bet if I'd cut them bill


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I did, because I mean, I say it, I talk about that, obviously, I'm not on that. But, uh, but like they, cause they just put the baby in front of your face and then they like cut the cord and you're just like, you're just in like a daze, man. Like, you know, uh, and it's, and then you saw I cut the cord and then that was it. Uh, then he went back to his regular life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that baby, they try to do C-sections sometimes cause they want, they want it. Oh, you need a doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your Kevin would just be, but Kevin's there the whole time. You had more rapport with Kevin. You could have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know if I would know the doctor that delivered our daughter. Like if I, if he walked up to me, I'd be like, what's up man? Like, you know, like I wouldn't, it's not like you're like, oh yeah, I know this guy. This is this. I mean, maybe I should, but whatever. So, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, the whole point of this, we're not doing the Krispy Kreme doughnut. That was the whole, we tried it and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we, we really thought about it and then A, watching us eat for an hour, I don't think is good. I think we, we do need to do it one day and we're, we're do it filming as a separate thing and I'm going to do it with you. I'll, I'll eat the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean w-watching us eat for an hour can't be good. Awful. Awful. With a mic right in front of us? Yeaah. That's not fun for anybody, man. We did build it up like, I mean luckily no one's seen this, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joey Chestnut, what's his net worth? I want to know that. How much money could that guy make? Joey Chestnut, net worth, uh, no one cares about the glaze, 257.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Kobayashi was very briefly the guy. So when, when this became, uh, when hot dog eating came, it was, uh, it was, what is his net worth? 1.5 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Oh yea, it was worth estimating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For just eating, uh, yeah, Kobayashi was, he came in hot, Joey Chestnut, like he was the guy and then Chestnut came in and just has never let up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And almost, but you know, I remember Kobayashi first, like he was the first one when I first saw it. I thought he was the main person. And then Joey Chestnut's been just on a run. Uh, you know, I mean, there's a major league eating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] MLE. It's a, it's a whole circuit that they go do like Buffalo wings. Like it's different season of like what you, you know, what you end up doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you know, I was thinking like, when's it, when's enough? Like at what point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you, Joey Chestnut, you go, this is, we're good. I mean, I think he was what, 34? When do you go like, that's, you know what? I'm stepping back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You walk over his house and you're like, it's asparagus season. You just know without even. Yeah, I'm training. I'm training. He's like, yeah, I'm getting into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I don't know, you know, when's it gonna be?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, yeaah, I don't know, I mean what's, I mean he's in good shape, so it's again, it's not, I'm sure he talks to his doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could you, if you do this, could you, uh, like I don't like onions. So would I be allowed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet not. If I'm like, can I do mine with no onions? If you did the Big Mac? Would I be allowed to take, to have?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never understand calories. Like, what are you supposed to, how many are you supposed to eat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, who knows what these calories are, man. I mean, you know, that's like, when you go look at diet stuff, I think you could write anything on a diet thing to make anybody convinced. If someone just aggressively and confidently talks about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Calories don't matter. And they just tell you why. If that person's persuasive, then you're like, I'm on board with this guy. What this guy says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember a guy I worked with before I started comedy and he lost a ton of weight and all he did was eat tuna fish for like a year. He just ate tuna fish. Still drank beers, drank sodas, but just did tuna fish and lost


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, maybe a hundred pounds. Uh, and I always, I still think about that. I always like think, Oh, I should just do it. Cause you're like, I should just do that. That's easy. You just eat tuna fish. Uh, but I didn't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he, but you're, you know, what, I mean, if you do anything, I think if you do anything to your system, you will lose weight. Like if just any kind of aggressively just change, you're, you're going to drop something. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're eating less. No, you eat, but I mean, just consistently doing one. Your body is, you know, my body's just, it doesn't know what we're going to get. There's no consistency. It's, I mean, it's all, it's a map.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's a, what's a, you know, are we gonna have donuts in the morning? We might. We might have pancakes. We might have nothing. There's plenty of stuff. So, that's the message. Just do whatever you want to go through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] David, I remember my buddy Justin Silver used to always, he would be like, don't give her the ketchup. He's like, just give her the ketchup, you'll be fine. And, but I didn't, you know, I didn't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, at that time I would do a lot of ketchup. I would always, I like to do enough that it makes the person next to me uncomfortable. Like they have to bring it up. That's how much ketchup I like. I like the ketchup enough that someone goes, it's a lot of ketchup. Like they, they can't not say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like it's that much that they're like, huh, you could use the whole bottle. There's some comment that they have to not let go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't anymore, uh, I like ketchup, but I can eat fries without ketchup, just as easy. I mean, they're, you know, they're just as good. Uh, I don't know if I think if I use ketchup on, I don't use ketchup as much as I used to, but there was a time. I mean, I would use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that a thing? Oh yea, that's a, you look like real red neck. If you get like a- I've never even heard of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's not as, it's not as classy. It's not, you know, you don't want to cheers that looks like you have something on the rocks. You're like, oh, what is that? Scotch, uh, Cabernet or whatever. I don't know. What's Pinot? What's a, whatever white wine is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the one you would put ice, white Zinfidel was, if you get a cup with ice and white Zinfidel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a wine person though would be like, what? Like white Zinfandel is like, I don't think. But it's a wine person asking me for a recommendation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, but it was a very nice restaurant. It was like those servers, that's their career.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like those guys make a hundred grand a year being servers. So there, it's like that level of serving. Cause there's different, like if you're at Applebee's, if you're at like, you're just using like a college kid or you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, or like you just, I mean, sometimes people come bartenders and work their whole life because they can make a lot of money. Uh, but then you get to that next higher level where it's, uh, that's an actual like profession. Like you're, so you're there, you have to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything. You have to know all wine and you have to really, you can't just phone it in. Can't just your standard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I feel like, once you say house, you're out, like it's out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little bit living on the edge to go, we know feta cheese can kill this girl, but we do like the feta cheese pizza here. So let's get that, just no feta cheese. And you didn't type it in to say, hey, no feta cheese.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Do you ever hear what happens? It starts with the head coach and that's you right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I could remember people's, I loved the idea that you just knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You knew all your tables kind of orders, like, you know, you kind of just, it's like you're in your own little world. So you know, like these, what these people are eating and drinking and you know where they're at, you know, when to stop by back by their table and be like, Hey, I remember one thing I learned from waiting tables that I think was a good thing to learn was, uh, they'd always talk about sense of urgency.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you should always have a sense of urgency. So you should always feel like you're in, you're, you're, you're hurrying to get these people what they want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like a great lesson I learned, just for life. Like you should have a, like, your life should have a sense of urgency. You should like, whatever you do, you should be like, we need to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do this and do it correctly and do it as quick as we can. And I'm, and now like I see it even just in regular, if I go to somewhere and like you can tell when they don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no sense, like they don't care. Like it's like the food's going to get there when it gets there. There's no, there is no sense of urgency and I can really see it. I always thought that was like, uh, that was like a good life lesson that I learned and just how you live your life is just have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An urgency about yourself that you should be like, I, whatever thing I'm trying to accomplish, I go, I need to accomplish it. Don't put it off. Don't do, you know, you go accomplish things. You learned that at, I learned it at Jake Melnick's in Chicago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I learned it there. Me and Michael Clay, who I moved with to start comedy, we used, we were the first people hired at that restaurant. And we went in and I mean, I went back to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I showed it on, uh, if you're my YouTube, the road life clips and then, uh, were you there? You were? Yeah. And we went, we went back to the restaurant and I mean, we walk, I walk in this restaurant, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's like, how you doing? I'm back. I mean, I come back like, I'm back. I haven't worked there. It's been 17 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those were your college years. That was during my college years. I was, I still talk to people that, I was texting with a guy two nights ago that we worked with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there, when I meet people in my life, if I do meet you in some step of my life, you're usually in my life. Like I don't, you don't leave. I don't like, it's like, especially then, like I kind of know you kind of keep an eye on what everybody is doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I was there, I was in Chicago for the Bartman years, uh, Steve Bartman. I was at the, I waited tables that night for that game. Uh, I remember we made a lot of money waiting tables cause it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just the atmosphere of Chicago. Like, I mean, they were, they were, they're going to win it this year. I was like, I can't believe I'm here in Chicago. We're going to win it. And I remember the Bartman thing when it happened still to this day, Chicago people make me live it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About the Bartman thing. They, I think what they did to that guy.


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[Assistant] I don't think they deserved a World Series after that. I wish they would have just lost for the next 300 years because they, it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, dude, the newspaper like posted that guy's address. They like ruined that guy's life. And then these Chicago fans


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have all still been upset about it up until maybe five years ago. Then they were finally like, all right, I guess we should, you're like, yeah, well you've already ruined this, this dude's life. This guy can't do anything. He can't go back to another game. Can't, he's never done interviews, never done, you know, it's not like he,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody. And just, cause they've ruined his life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I remember working that night, if you watched the 30 for 30 on Steve Barman's Great, and if you watch it, so after, when they had to escort him out,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the girl that they talked to that worked for Wrigley Field, she ends up having to take him, take him to her apartment because they, they get him outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next, she goes home, the next morning she comes back and we're just like, you know, all the news is Steve Bartman. That's all that was on ESPN and you watched it and you're like, man, so crazy. The girl that I worked with, she was roommates with the girl that took her to her apartment. So she got home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, this is really before your text, like this is before any of that stuff. So she walks in the door and Steve Bartman's just sitting on her couch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Headphones still on, listen to them, just trash them like he's the reason. They, you know, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that stuff wasn't around when that happened or I bet. I'm talking about now even. Yeah, but now it's been so long that like, I'm sure people, yeah, I mean, I'm surprised that you don't see something, but it's, I think he like lives in a town outside of Chicago. Like my pride keeps himself in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and then he just kind of missed the time of like Twitter and like, I mean, if Twitter would have been around then, I mean, he would have, I mean, yeah, you would know everything about him probably without him wanting, but him just staying out of the light and not doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Anytime you, anytime you want to come buddy, you're welcome. Uh, with the pressure of interviewing that guy for the first time, I'd be like, I don't even do interviews. So what's going on, man? How was it? How were things? Were you excited when the Cubs won?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think affected you more? When the Cubs won the World Series or when your life was ruined by the city of Chicago? Which one? Uh, yeah, it was a crazy time to be in Chicago during that, during that run. It was, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just the, I mean, even before that, just the energy of that city and like, I don't know how much, you know, I mean, you wanted them to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then, I remember going to, I went to White Sox games too, uh, cause the people that, Levy Foods, uh, who was like, owned the restaurant or something, they had a box, and so they gave us tickets, uh,