[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, great. So what they do is they make an incision, uh, two incisions at the very top of your thigh where there's that big vein, I think it's your femoral artery coming up from your leg or something. And they put these lines up there, these very thin cords.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No she doesn't, no she doesn't. She's, she's, she's very, like I watched these to make sure it wasn't like, you know, that it wasn't like my daughter and a bunch of simps watching this, this YouTube channel. It's, it's literally just stuff for kids, like, oh my god we're gonna open loads of chocolate today, aye, you know, that kind of shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which makes me think that most of these YouTubers, like 98% of their audience must be 6 and 7 year old kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got it for my, uh, for my eldest actually. I got it on her steam account, uhm, that I have like total control over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's got this thing, this parental lock, where you can allow certain games through, you can block certain games, you can't go to the store at all, all kinds of stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good, yeaah. So he got Among Us for her because a friend of hers was having a birthday party and it was an Among Us party. So all the kids just played Among Us for like four hours or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, watching their meta is fascinating. I'm no Among Us expert, but they really are very poor at figuring out who the imposter is, uh, which is odd, because they're also terrible at being the imposter, because they're complete noobs, you know, and they're just like very honest kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. My eldest is just evil, but she's, she's, you know, she's to your face evil. She's just, she's just horribly mean to her younger sister. And if you tell her, did you tell, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My youngest is doing some Lego last night, and she was making a hospital, and my eldest, and she made a chair, and my eldest said, that chair looks like a toilet. And my youngest was like, no, it's a chair. She's like, yeah, that's a toilet. And that was enough for my youngest to be in floods of tears, stomped down stairs, like crying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I went up there and my eldest was just laughing her head off. Mission accomplished! You know, she's like, that's it, I made my sister cry just by telling her her Lego chair looked like a toilet. And I was like, why are you letting this shit get to you? Just ignore her. But she can't. They want their older sibling's validation so much that they can't even vocalize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get a lot of that. I always have. And after a while, you just sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think SirActionSlacks is my role model when it comes to internet comments because he uses it. Like he loves that. That's what he wants is the salt. And he wants to make people react like that. And he relishes it and he makes memes and videos out of it. And their comments fuel him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also think that some people lack the ability to actually put their thoughts into a sentence that is in any way...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's more like, uhm, I think some people are trying to make a joke and it's just fucking horrible and it just doesn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think so, a lot of people really lack the ability to, to make a joke and have it seem like they're like, well, is he kidding? It's like, well, that doesn't look like a joke. Like, a guy turned up in my chat the other day,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then I know that it's just part of a joke. But if you just turn up in someone's channel, never seen you before, not a sub, don't recognise the username, and that's your hello, work on your social skills a little bit. Because I have no fucking idea if you're just amusing me or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and at an event having dudes follow you around. I know lots of women that work in esports or in gaming in general, and there will be dudes at an event, say, who just follow them around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just watching them, giving them the old snooper elite, and it's fucking creepy, and the, I honestly, it is such a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have this crossover where you have gaming now being accepted and embraced by people who wouldn't have done it when I was a kid. When I was a kid, games were for little children or weirdo adults, right? That's it. Like you didn't play games. If you'd said, what do you do all day? I play video games. It wasn't a thing. They weren't vast social experiences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was something you did when you had your mates around when you were a kid, or you'd go to the arcade and hang out with all the creepy adults there and all the kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was it. And there were very few women involved in gaming in any way. And now that there are, these are women who don't look like the archetypal video game nerd. And there are lots of blokes who don't look like the archetypal video game nerd because that's not what it is anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's much more accessible. Anybody can fucking play it. Which is great, because games should not be something just for a tiny group of people. It should be for as many people as possible, because they're fantastic. We all love games. So I think the thing is you've got people coming into that space, or people who are now part of it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are also bumping into the people who are exact throwbacks to that basement dwelling nerd, like I am, who lives in his loft and plays eeeeh, plays dota all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And suddenly they're out there in the world having to socialise with people, not online, but offline, in real life, in 3D, and they have no skills to do that, and it's impossible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's exactly what Sips was saying, is that if you watch something all the time, someone every day, just like Sips said, people feel like they have a connection, you're familiar to them, but it's almost like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like watching a TV show and people going up and thinking you'll like the character on the TV show. Yes. You know what I mean? It's exactly like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if like, uh, like the super hot dude streamers, uh, get that. I wonder if they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I know that a lot of, like, if you've ever been to, uhm, uh, a Twitch event, like, we have, you definitely don't see as many women there as you do men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, when it comes to, I remember my sister was into a boy band back in the day, this is in the 90s. She went to see them and she was on the front page of the Bournemouth Echo, and all these teenage girls were like, had these animal expressions, like AHHHHH!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but it's also, I feel like the viewers are like ants, you know what I mean? And they smell the pheromones of a stranger ant who is an aggressive and unwanted intruder very quickly. And I don't look at chat very often, but people always notice that I do tend to look at chat


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was a conversation going on, which essentially Twitch chat is like, they're all chatting away while I'm playing, and occasionally I'll come in and say something or respond to it, but I mean, you can't, I can't play Dota and read chat. I do see some people doing it. They're streaming and whilst they're like fucking in the middle of a team fight with D warding, they're like looking at chat and like, how the fuck can you do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for me, if you arrive in a conversation or a group of people and that's your opening gambit, that's a pretty shitty gambit. Like, I really don't appreciate it. And I don't think it's clever, I don't think it's me misreading it. That's just very, very poor social skills, I think. And I see that kind of thing all the time. The first time I've noticed someone's name and them say something,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a big thing for the players a couple of years ago. Somebody did a, um, a dump of all the shit that players had said. Because if you look at the public match thing, it saves the chat, like you said. And so somebody went and did like a word cloud for all the top pros.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was, this was from the raw data. Like this is not something that you could doctor or fake. This is from the raw files, the raw replays. So it's just provable right there. Yes, you said that. And it's interesting because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People love privacy on the internet, right? That's a big thing. They don't want to be traceable, they don't want anything to be said. And you've got to think, well, if you're in a public place, which a Twitch chat essentially is a public place, and you're saying stuff, and you think, I should be able to say whatever I like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there should be no record of it and no comeuppance for that. Then, really what you're advocating is for your own private space, where you can say whatever you like. But the moment you're around other people, the stuff you say has to have consequences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think it's a bit like a top footballer recommending a pair of football boots, in that you get those boots and you think, now I'm gonna score free kicks like Lionel Messi, but you don't, because you still suck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can wear clown cheeses and still score. Exactly. So I think a lot of the time those decks lull you into thinking it's just, oh it's just mathematics, but a lot of the time these guys are like disgustingly good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How can we keep people playing the game and spending money on it? We'll just give them tasks that they have to come back and do every day. Because I'm sure if you have an in-game store, the number one hurdle to people spending money is not the game, but making them come to the page. Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just need to get people onto the main screen, into the game, then they'll spend money. Like that's the biggest hurdle. Getting them on the phone if you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what it's like? It's like the classes of boarding on a plane. We now invite our ultra diamond titanium platinum passengers to board. It's like that. So do you feel like you're better than everybody else because you get to go on third?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's gonna be terrible and wonderful at the same time. I was actually dreaming about it last night. I can't wait. Yeah, scrub CSGO. It's gonna be great. Alright, thanks everybody. See you next time. Bye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, maybe we could have a miniatures painting stream. Miniatures are out! Six rolls aren't into miniatures! Kinder eggs! I want you all to open Kinder eggs! I'll stream endlessly!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, there's a reason for making people feel good. So they feel good, right? As uhm, you know, and like as a person who wants people to listen to their podcast, you want people feeling as good as possible. Because then if they're feeling good, they'll come back next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the whole time, I don't think, uhm, the way wishes work is you can't, uh, articulate them out into the world, right? Or they won't come true. So they have to be in your mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Much like the scene in Ghostbusters when, uh, Gozer tells, uh, the Ghostbuster crew,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, right. And everybody clears their minds except for Ray, who can't help but think about the Stay Puppy Marshmallow Man. So I feel like, coming back to what we were just talking about, I feel like if I threw a pound coin into somebody's butthole and made a wish in my mind,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would wish that I never had to experience throwing a pound coin into somebody's butthole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gently? Or would you like whip it in there? Would you like, like a major league baseball pitcher? Just like, like a big windup and then whip it in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just pound coin right in the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need a picture, not a belly itcher. We need a catcher, not a belly scratcher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh see I slouch, I like recline back, so like my belly is like protruding at times, which is comfortable, but uhm, embarrassing too. Sometimes I look down and I'm like, what the hell have I become? What the hell am I doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think that that actually harms the fish? The coins in a fountain?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was always looking for something else because, well, you know yourself, like we make fun of it a lot on this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Work and, and life and everything, uh, can be really, really fucking awful. Like, you know, if you, the wrong, if you're at a place where the wrong people are working or, you know, you just don't gel with, with people or whatever. I mean, you have to do that every day, all day, every day. You know, it just, it, it wears you, wears you out after a while, right? You just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I joke about it, but I'm so fucking glad I don't have to do it. You know what I mean? Like I would have been pretty miserable if I had to just carry on like, like I would have been all right, like, but I would have been one of those guys who just, uh, was like counting the minutes at work every day. I wouldn't have been engaged. I wouldn't have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think like, uh, that's a sort of like a common thought. Like when people go to university, people sort of, uhm, people think of education as like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they mix it up. They think it's like training or whatever, you know. So they think because you went to university for this one specific thing, you should know exactly how to do just that. But you, you go to university, you go to college and stuff where they teach you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't, it doesn't feel like that when you're doing it, right? At times you still, you don't, it doesn't feel like a job, but you just sort of so naturally take it in your stride, especially if this is your hobby leading into it, that it just doesn't feel like a job at all, right? So I guess maybe that is a dream job?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The nature of jobs is that when you're young and you're a lot more maybe ambitious than you are as you get older, it feels a lot worse working somewhere, right? Because you feel stifled or you feel held back. And like I felt like that a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt like why am I like, why am I wasting my time here when I could be doing this or I could be doing that or like, you know, I very much thought that like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt like that when I was younger and I was just getting into the workplace or I'd only been working for like five years or whatever. But now that I'm older and I've done what I've been doing for a while or whatever, my attitude would be completely different. Like I know we're joking around about Louis saying his dream job is being at a sorting place or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if I had to go back to work now, I would just want to work somewhere like that where it was just like, I didn't need to even really think about what was going on. You know what I mean? I could just get lost in my thoughts all day or nowadays I'm sure I could just listen to some music while I did this really fucking mundane job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just got through the day because realistically, dream job or not, nobody really wants to be somewhere else other than just like at home doing whatever you like, right? And I think that's why we have a dream job now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we are for the most part just at home doing whatever we like. You know what I mean? You're completely right. I can wake up and say, fuck it, I'm not streaming today, I'm just gonna watch like all three original Star Wars movies today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other people's kids can just fuck right off. Honestly, I don't, I don't want to, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a good teacher is priceless, right? Like my, my kids have been lucky. They've had really good teachers and you just think, fuck me. Like it makes all the difference just to have a decent person as a teacher. But then every once in a while, um, they get unlucky. They'll have a year where their teacher isn't great and you notice it straight away. You're just like this fucking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, it's a tough one, right? Because it, because it changes around, I guess. Maybe that's the big difference between health care. You know, like your doctor's, your doctor's your doctor, right? You don't really change doctors that much. Like, I've had the same doctor for a long ass time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. No, but even growing up when I was in Canada, like we went to the same doctor all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right. I've never really had that before. We've always sort of just had the same doctor. You, you make an appointment with that doctor and you have like a backup doctor in case your doctor is just like not there. But for the most part, I'd say 90% of the time I see the same doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had all that as well. And then it turned out that, um, I had to have my gallbladder removed. Like they just like, they really just fogged me off. Even though I was like in crippling pain, like I had to go to A&E, I was throwing up in A&E everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, like, like, I don't like going to the doctor, but I will go if, if it's, if it's, if I'm in bad shape, like I had the ear infection and I didn't know what I could take to alleviate those symptoms. So I thought I got to go to the doctor and maybe get some like antibiotics or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like that's when I'll go to the doctor. If I know I need sort of like antibiotics or something that I just can't handle myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One more time! Oh my god, you've actually gone to that point? I don't think I've ever been there. I've never done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, it would have to be so utterly intolerable, but added to that, it would have to be super intolerable, plus my wife would have to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I put a, when I put a mask on now, my face and my head have gotten so fat during all this. It's like I'm, I put a face mask on to go outside and it's like, uh, like a postage stamp over my, uh, like on my, my face. Like there's just too much flesh like on either side. It looks small.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get that bitch over here right now. Is that how they refer to him in the movies?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They refer to Captain Marvel as a bitch. Even her friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're going. They're like, we've been, we've been looking forward to our trip to Marbella now for too long. And now that we're vaccinated, fuck all of you. We're going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And hopefully not. I mean, most people spend all their time trying to avoid these people in the first place to then for those people to then become like instrumental in day to day logistics and stuff like that would be a nightmare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's been a lot of beef over the years with France as well. I'm surprised. I would have thought that they just didn't like the British at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eat an apple. You know what, Lewis, if you're getting a lot of heartburn, may I recommend, I know I'm not a doctor and you shouldn't take my word, but can I recommend something that works for me with heartburn? An apple a day, baby. Just one apple per day. I feel like having an apple is the last thing that you eat in a day, okay? So like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You eat your dinner, maybe like six, seven o'clock at night, have an apple, I bet you, uh, I bet you it'll help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, not even for dessert. I mean, have a dessert if you want to. I have, I just have one apple at night, like maybe with a, like I'll have like some tea or something and then I'll have an apple and if an apple is the last thing I eat in a day, I will not get heartburn at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flax, I know like I'm not like a restaurateur or like a foodie or anything like that. What I find is when I have a cheese plate, if it's the last thing I eat, uh, like of an evening, maybe like seven, eight o'clock at night or whatever, I'll get a bit of cheese on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, some crackers, like you said, maybe some grapes or some apple slices or something and then just like a little, just a dollop of some chutney, you know, some sweet mango chutney.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everybody and welcome. Good morning, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Welcome back, Sips. Welcome back. Welcome back, Perion. Thank you for having me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it sounds like. Like, tight and fresh sound like terrible rappers from the 90s. Tight and fresh. Mmm, I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I know what GameStop is, it's a failing retailer. I know what Wall Street is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, let's define this as well. Let's define what Wall Street is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I wasn't, but I think what Wall Street is, is actually represents the older generation of investment and massive investment firms who have, who have existed for a very long time. Sure, the stock exchanges are on Wall Street and there I'm sure some firms work there, but it's, it's really, it represents more of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's exactly the same. They don't have an online presence, you know, they don't have plans to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I've always heard of GameStop described as the very lucrative used game market, which I don't deny is possibly very lucrative, but certainly the model of it is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But me, for me personally, uh, having, I've only a couple of times bought or traded in used games and then they were when I was younger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and the thing about it is, is that it's not even that. It's, it's almost like derivatives. So the way they work is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead of doing this with Sips and buying the share off him, you kind of buy fake shares. You go to a bank and you say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to make a bet on these shares and even though you're not, you're paying a small amount, like a very small premium, a little fraction of the money to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By 10 or 100 or 1000 shares worth, um, so you can play that position. So it was as if you were buying the shares and selling them back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that means that you're liable, not always, but often liable to these potentially massive losses if the trade goes the wrong way. And I think most people expect GameStop. It's like a house of cards. Everyone looks at that and says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not going to be the next Tesla. This is not going to be the next Apple.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, even if somehow they turn around and they have an e-store selling games that brings them into the 20th century, uhm, do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's not, whereas the point is that with someone like Tesla, you think, well, maybe the US government is going to say, let's put money into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like stuff that Tesla has, but with GameStop it's just nothing. But what's happening here is that the price, well, the GameStop price at the moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's $350 from $3, which is crazy. And so it's causing this kind of distortion, I guess, in the markets that have always been abused and manipulated so heavily by conventional money players.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Invest in this thing, let's pump it up, let's pump this stock up, and then everyone jumps on the bandwagon, they pump it all up together, and then at a certain point though,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's the, the money has to come from somewhere. If people are making money, other people are losing money. And at the moment it feels like the big banks are losing money and the individual chumps on Reddit are making money. But like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I, if anything, if a hundred years of financial finagling, you know, has like gone to like, who has the gigantic mega buildings in America?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To some extent this is a good thing in a sense because I think GameStop probably was, uh, fundamentally undervalued when it was really, really cheap. You know, because I think that, I think the pandemic has caused everything to be, I think, I think a lot of the times this is, I imagine, I don't know, I imagine this is how it works. Someone in a big company,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a big bank will be like, will identify a company that they think is undervalued. They will and then they will flag that up and use their massive corporate power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they've made a hundred times the money. That's a, that's kind of a, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assume this kind of stuff isn't illegal, right? If you, if you just tell all your friends, you tell all the other banks, you tell the CNBC, you tell that weird financial guy, you know, it's a stock tip. You know, I, I assume all that is totally illegal to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like even Bitcoin, which feels like actually Bitcoin feels to me like a cool, good idea, right? It feels like it's a kind of limited thing where you've only got a certain amount of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's playing a game with money, often. That's the thing. And I think these, I always think of Wall Street as the professional poker players, you know, the old guards, those men at the table, you know, you see these poker games with these men who've been playing poker for, you know, a hundred years, it feels like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prime ministers in the sort of 70s and 80s having to worry about, oh, inflation's out of control, we have to devalue the pound. Oh, I don't know, there's like, and that's enough to get a prime minister out of power, you know. Oh, well, you know, the financial system was falling apart. I don't know, I feel like, I feel like now it's just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not a big deal anymore, like, we can just, like, no one complains about the, that sort of economy and stuff and thinks about it these sort of ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of weird like where, like they had, like they treated countries more like they were companies. And so, you know, when a, when a country


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you read about this stuff and you're like, you know, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a, uh, uh, some sort of, like, there was some sort of ceiling on how much money you could print and send out. And I, I just, I just see these, these news articles where it's like, you know, Biden's new rescue package. And I'm like, where does this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand where this money comes from and what it really means and why it's not a problem to do it. And so it's kind of this bizarre


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] World we live in, uhm, and it worries me really in a sense, like the, you know, the pandemic has caused these, and I don't want there to be another


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's okay, so this week pretty much all I've been doing is playing Dyson Sphere program on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a sort of, the idea of it is that it's colourful, you're building around a planet and the first time I realised that it was quicker for me to send a production line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Round the entire other side of the planet and, you know, circumnavigate the little planet I was on rather than go straight forwards was really interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be, that would be factorial. Factorial would be making sure that the pipes were taking the most efficient route to their destination.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that most games are a simple mechanic sheathed or hidden in pretty colours often, right? Like you're doing something over and over again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's something, that gameplay loop they call it, needs to be satisfying. You know, like digging a block in Minecraft is something you do again and again. And I always go back to that one because it's very satisfying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In, in Fact-Factorio, in a lot of games like Anno, and even, even simple games, you are just trying to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get one resource and provide it to a place. And so it's like, even if it's like a sim city where it's like a town and you need to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give it food, you know, it's, it's simple, right? I think factorio is the next evolution of that. It's bringing together multiple things from multiple locations and putting them in to combine to make something else and then taking that thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm making it something else and taking that thing and making it something else and before you know it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the Factorio is the simplest, most easy version of the game, whereas Satisfactory, I think, is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, like, you know, imagine the thing that you built in Factorio in half an hour. That's what you've built in 24 hours of satisfactory. That's the same level of complexity, but satisfactory is much more satisfying to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right. It's very list-like. It's like, in Factorio it's like, I need to do this, then I need to do Lion, then I need to do Power, then I need to do this thing, then I need to do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a, that's a symptom of the bad, in a sense, something that I don't think that was intended. I don't think that when Cities Skylines developers sat down around a table and were making the game, they were like, okay guys, so the core gameplay loop here is going to be traffic management.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels like they intended it to be this, that was just a side effect that you have to wrestle with and it's a frustration, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, I always have this paranoia in games that like, that hell, that the devil is sat there, right, and he's like, coding, and he's like, hehehehe, I'm going to make it so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, yeah, that hours go by and I'm like, fuck this, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, I can't stop. It's very, and I think that's part of it with the same thing with Factorio, right? It's like, it's like, it's a chore. It's a tedious chore, okay, to build this stuff and do this stuff over and over again. And honestly, like Factorio does have blueprints and things like this to make it simpler. You know, once you've built something once, you can just copy paste it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, sure. No, I totally get it, and I think that they are very different games with very different gameplay experiences, and I think that uhm, I think that in some ways you are just going through the motions, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I've spent hundreds of hours in RimWorld. I think the thing that always frustrates me with RimWorld sadly is that the random events are, once you've seen them all, and there's not that many. Yeah, yeah sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think this is something about like how long a game should be as well. Like I think sometimes games don't, like the roguelike genre has come along and it's really kind of put a tight


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be a certain game length before you can start again and try something new and try some new stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what people want. People really want wipes. It's a weird thing to say, but like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People love wipes. It's 2021, no one wipes with paper, you use wipes now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this does feel like that, yeah, that does feel like the middle ground now. You don't tend to get new games designed that are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's interesting, like they're the two choices really in terms of you, you have your.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lightly fragranced wipes. Auto wiper. Oh man. Holy crap. Lots of wiping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happens is that you as the players take control of the game and you find certain things and certain things become fun. I'm sure that Tarkov didn't intend to develop this kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you, when you wanna reach out to new players and bring them in, you know, everyone's gonna have a different opinion and I think when you, you're very,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be down there in your game, playing actively everyday, passionate about it. Those are the people who know, the community really know what the game needs, you know, most of all to make it good. And sometimes that's not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is that's not going to bring in money, is it right? If you advertise your game and you're like, okay, this, this, this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's funny how, like, it's a similar thing with Sackville, right, cause I saw he posted, like, uhm, that he had this whole, like, two hours of hell where he went in with a full two million gear, just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you have enough of those bad experiences, they are gonna grind you down and you're gonna find a game that doesn't have that. I mean, this is why people are playing Tarkov, I guess, because it gives them an experience that the other games didn't, right? Like PUBG and whatever came before that, World War Z, god knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I looked at this thing and it was like, I was watching this talk by this game dev guy some time ago and he basically was describing how there are these like pillars of game design and one of them is to have a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost like having a bug in your game that you need to fix. You know, you need to build these facilities in any way. Maybe I'm just ranting about it. But yeah, I think a lot of people are just, it's just guys in an office who don't really, they don't have anyone even thinking about banning the hackers. You know, there's no, there's no process at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd think it would be quite a simple process, right? Like someone files a report, a copy of that game is like filed away as a replay, the dev, you know, whoever's going through the report just looks at the first one, this is clearly hacking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder how people who cheat on exams, but I think, I think if you're one of these, if you've cheated on an exam, right, do you go through your whole life feeling like a kind of, like you, you, or do you think, I've got one over on those fuckers, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This week, uh, as I was playing Escape from Tarkov, not Tarkov, I was playing Dyson Sphere Pro, um, cause I wouldn't be able to pay attention. So I was watching, cause I watched, we watched Nightstalker, all of us watched it last week and I moved on to the Netflix show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So first of all, it's, it's bizarrely formulaic and repetitive and the stories that you get out of these people are almost, almost the same every time that I've written it down, but it falls into like sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and so that, so these people often did their crime when they were young and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a sense, like, there is like an element of they were just young and stupid, right? There's this, there's this great episode where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a DA, um, who actually did a lot of stuff, really stupid criminal stuff when he was young, but he's now the DA and he's deciding whether someone who was, you know, his, so he's sat there on his, in his plush leather chair saying, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it doesn't matter. These guys done the crime and in Texas we kill them kind of thing. You know, and they're like, but you know, you did a very, you could have very easily done something almost the same and you in fact did do, it did go to prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not trying to defend. Anyway, it's really interesting because you've got, on one hand, you've got these criminals who obviously did these terrible things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and a lot of the time when you're interviewing them, they go one of two ways, okay? They either are completely admitting what they did, they're really embarrassed about it, they're really, they're like, I was young and stupid, I didn't know what I was doing, it was a terrible thing, I shouldn't have done it, I was an idiot, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other thing is they have this story that they've been telling, or maybe telling themselves, but telling ever since. And it's, it's obviously not true. Um, or at least, but, but they're convinced that it is. They've almost told themselves the story so many times that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they're then confronted in the interview with like, well, you've just told us this story. We've gone back and checked it. This is what everyone else has to say. They're almost shocked. They're like, well, I don't remember it that way. Have I been?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, sometimes they're completely forgiving and like, look, I realized that he killed my dad. I can't believe it, but I've forgiven him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get this guy who's killed all these people and he tells his story, or her story, uhm, the female ones are actually more interesting. They're in the second season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Her story is this thing and then you go to the victims and they tell what they think and then you finally go to the police and the lawyers who were involved and they tell their thing and you realise that actually, you know, the criminal telling their story left out a lot of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I was just sat in a car and my friend went and killed someone and I got done for capital murder. I never even pulled the trigger. I never even done anything, you know, and I'm now here and I've spent 50 years of my life in prison for capital murder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, that's like, god, you're like, holy shit, this guy, this is complete injustice. What's going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One guy was like, you know, really upset about a relationship and sort of just got really lost his mind. One guy was drunk, one guy was on drugs, you know, and so it was all like they, they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In general population you get like regular meals, you're like, I don't know, it's weird, like in a sense that apparently being on death row is almost like, to this one guy that I was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's, he's keen to be on death row. Um, cause he wants to die. He, and some of them were like, you know, I'm guilty. I did it, you know, the lawyers to kill me. Why aren't they killing me? He's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Films is a different ball game. It's a different… Well, it's not a ball game. It's like a racket game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bloody Holland. Bloody Dutch coming up with creative ideas! Always creating mates with tulips!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, however you play this game, you come up with a brilliant idea, but I'm always going to fuck you! Like, I'm always going to find a way to make it so the traffic doesn't fucking work, and I feel like so many times


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be good to each other, stay frosty, go fuck yourselves, all that good stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I think it is is that I think most of it is that they want it to go to YouTube. And if you're not like regularly uploading let's plays and playthroughs and previews and shit to YouTube, that they just kind of take you off the list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was, I got it last night and I played about an hour and a half of it and I played it again this morning as soon as I woke up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Luckily for you guys, I just glanced at the clock and I was like, oh it's 9.59, shit. And I ran downstairs and, uh, hewled up, did the dishwasher and then came up here. I feel like I'm already a cyberpunk guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually do remember you, I do remember you talking about it and I remember thinking, why is he so excited for Junkyard Simulator? It is very much your type of game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, I, I saw the trailer and everything, I was like, this doesn't seem as, this doesn't seem worth getting that hyped about. I hope he's not disappointed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't like that mechanic either, because it kind of felt like, like you said, I mean the reason it's there is because you have to decide what you can live without.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think what, what, what makes it annoying in that regard is that uhm, it's kind of a time-based game, right? So, it's like, it's not like, like you said, it's not like, you've, you've, you've figured out this first bit, like in Hades say, where you go through, and it's a lot of the same levels over and over again, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're slightly different and you're improving as you go and you know, like you said, you're unlocking stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I also feel like normally in a game, once you've cracked that first bit,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You blitzed through it. But instead, because of the design, you still have to wait for it. And you're just waiting there for five minutes or whatever, yeaah. But I thought as a concept, I love the idea of being-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, it's completely the opposite. I would much rather have the private experience of playing the story and goofing about and doing what I want to do and taking my time and, you know, fucking up and reloading and not worrying about it. Like, for me, the idea of playing a multiplayer game or anything like that on my own is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas like, the kind of games like Junkyard Simulator and stuff, I would only ever play on stream because I basically don't really enjoy them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it the one where you are like the robots and then it's kind of like a system shock kind of rip off that thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] as a genre is so fixed in a way that I think if you describe say fantasy or sci-fi is not as fixed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cyberpunk is very defined, and it was defined by just a few things early on in its sort of genesis, Blade Runner, Neuromancer, everything comes from that. So when I heard it was set in Cyberpunk, I thought, okay, you know, that's cool. I find that, I like the idea of the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I, I quite like that because I really like the Blade Runner and Neuromancer. I read it when I was a very young man and had a major effect on me. Like uhm, you know, as, as a sort of future shock book, I thought, wow, this is like amazing. I can't wait for this future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right, right. But like, think about the difference between the Witcher and Kingdom Come. Witcher was magic and, you know, monsters and stuff. And Kingdom Come was literally a medieval story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was so scuffed. I finished it. I'm the same. But it was such a weird game, man. It was just, it was, there was so many fucking infuriating aspects to that game. And the combat has to be the worst designed combat. I've never played a game with worse combat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't care, they're wrong. In terms of 1v1 combat, I thought it was quite fun, doing the duels and stuff like that. But the moment you have to fight more than one person, it's fucking awful. I'm sorry, but it is fucking awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you've gotta remember that your character starts off as just a peasant. Yes. So you literally cannot fight. Like even if you know the moves, you suck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it is satisfying to see your guy grow, and by the end of the game you are like kicking ass, which is quite satisfying. I enjoyed that. But fighting against more than one opponent, you'd ended up just having to back up constantly, and alright, you know, maybe if I was fighting three people I would just continually move backwards across a vast landscape. It just feels silly. It doesn't feel cinematic, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I've enjoyed it. I've read some people saying that it's only so-so. I've enjoyed it. Because it's kind of like, it's got Deus Ex stuff in it, where you can, I mean I've gone for more of a hackery route, so my lad is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I had a question for you, like, something I, um, I read an article that they, they finally made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would say, yep, that's fine. I'm switching back or, you know, I'm happy to eat fat chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the flavour would be, the flavour would be chicken, rather than mushroom. No, but I mean like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But how many people would say no, uhm, even if it's grown in- Yeah, I wouldn't-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, it's not just that. I mean, for one thing, it would solve a lot of the problems of things like the pollution caused by mass farming. It would be much easier and cheaper, as Lewis says, to just pour in a bunch of ingredients into one end of a thing and it's your dream factory sips. You put things in one end and something comes out the other. That's literally the whole point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Right, but the whole argument of vegetarianism is that it morally, it's impossible to argue that killing an animal for food when alternatives exist is a moral position that you can take. You have to opt out and say, yes, I'm making an immoral choice, but it's my choice to make. That's the whole point. There's no moral argument.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the point is, we are gonna have an impact. Can we lessen that? If this lessens the impact, that has to be a positive step. I mean, we can't just say, oh, it'll be another problem. I'm sure it will be. So, I mean, like, I know this term.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, but if you look at cattle farming for example, it's a big polluter, a big polluter, because not only do you have all this land dedicated to just cows and millions and millions of cows killing those cows, then you have the methane that the cows produce and all the rest of it. That's obviously a bad thing. Now if you didn't have that side of beef production,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you'd have to put in more energy than you'd get out or you'd die. Yeaah. So you're saying we'd first, first, alright, step one, Elon, I hope you're listening, I know he's a, I know he does. Step one, you need to invent a perpetual motion machine, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because otherwise, we're gonna, the, the, if we have to run to generate the energy, or send emails to generate the energy to feed ourselves now via our cyber stomachs, there's gonna be, we're gonna be losing energy the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen up, fellas. 2020 sucked. It's a new year and we need new balls with our sponsor Manscaped, which is the best in men's below-the-waist grooming, offering precision-engineered tools


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For your family jewels and helping 2 million men


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Around the world, if you want to keep your balls as sheer and attractive looking as a pair of well-trimmed kiwis that's manscaped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what the best thing I did in terms of streaming, and I think, like let's say uhm, I stopped streaming, let's just imagine I stopped streaming. For some people of course that would be a great day, but for me it would be a real shame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, let's call it a corner anyway of dad Twitch. Um, the, the best thing that I did was the, the sub discord and creating a community there because I like, we, we do the in houses on a Tuesday night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there'll be like a ton of people waiting to play those games. Last night I fired up Hell Let Loose for the first time in like, probably four or five months I feel like, because there was a big new patch that came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Loaded that up and straight away there were 20 of us playing it. And if I want to play Among Us and I'll just say something to Discord, I feel like that to me, like I've created a community where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you don't play the kind of games that, like we were saying, like you, you like, uh, like people watch you for a very different reason. They watch me because they want to see me fuck up in a multiplayer game so they can clip


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you gotta keep an eye on it. I think the main thing is that I've got really, really good mods. And I think, I mean, every streamer I speak to understands the value of good mods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, they're just, these are guys that I've known for years now. And I trust them and they know what I'm gonna like and what I'm not gonna like and what I'm gonna say is like, that's unacceptable. But then also they'll come to me and say, you really need to do something about X.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, we sort of moderate the community as a group. Uhm, it's, it's, it is, it is a little bit of extra work, but to me it's very satisfying. Because it's just, it's so nice to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People that I can play games with and people that are funny and chill and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we were playing code names if you played that. Oh that's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's just not something you'd ever read about or notice. It's like the, not a dark corner of the internet, but the internet is so vast and there's so many different avenues you could go down that if you don't, there's no crossover between reading about the news or football and suddenly finding yourself on a smut-filled OnlyFans. It's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas to me, everybody knows about it, like, you know, people joke about this kind of stuff. But yeah, my mates have no idea about it. Mrs. F had never heard of it. I had to explain to her what it was when I was relaying this story to her this morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, it's just kind of, kind of funny how, uh, how different, uh, my view of what the internet is and, and everything like that and, and the people that I think of as being on the internet are and the average persons, uh, of my age, uh, it's just completely different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're horrified and interested. Yeah, it's like a, uh, what is that? It's like sort of morbid curiosity about this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking, since there's obviously a lot of things, big things to talk about, I wanted to talk about small talk. Because I was thinking today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I, I want us to try and do, I realize this podcast is essentially just small talk, but I want us to do a few minutes of 100% guaranteed small talk. So here's the settings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, the three of us are colleagues. We work for, uh, an office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretensions of grandeur, but it's actually just a shitty, boring ass block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A classic slal. Let's say in fact that we do work in slal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we all commute but not far, just from some small village near Slough. Like that's the best you could describe about. Where do you live? Oh, uh, Twattington. Where is it? Oh, it's near Slough. Like that's as good as it gets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've all been working there for about 12 or 13 years. None of us really knows each other that well. Right. It's just not that kind of office, you know. Uhm, but we're all standing around the water cooler area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, Lewis and I are already there. Sips, you come in and you're gonna start the small talk. Lewis and I were in mid small talk conversation when you turned up. So let us talk for like 5-10 seconds and then you turn up, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stretch it out. Okay, ready. Stretch it out. Roll your head a little bit. Just a tiny bit. Just relax and get in character. Alright, Lewis, I'll start. Are you ready? Yeaah. Yeaah. So, uh, it turned out it was the, um, carburettor, which is quite annoying. Had to get a new one. New one fitted. Oh. How's your car doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's inappropriate. That's inappropriate for this office. And as your line manager, I've got to say, I'm just fucking kidding, dude. I'd fucking spray all over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think they must have put it up at the weekend. Okay, it's time and a half, isn't it? At the weekend. I didn't see that. Yeah. Well, you can go have a look at it on the way back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right across from the SO, yeah. Yeah, you'll see it there. Big giveaway sign. I mean, yeah. Anyway! Well, that's weird. Anyway, small talk over, right? Right, yeah. No, I mean, that's about it. No, I wanna carry on! I wanna carry on!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but people do it, people do it all the time. You find yourself doing small talk. Well, because it's very awkward otherwise, right? But here's my question. My kids don't do small talk, right? Kids do not do small talk. You may think they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you hear their little wittery conversations, it's all just about nothing. But to them, these are big deals, you know, their toys and what they're watching on TV. It's not the same at all. What age and what is the point where small talk becomes a thing? Because it can't just be when you get a job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the thing is, when it comes to parenting, you can always talk about the school and your kids. Like, you guys at least have a common ground and common interest. And gossip is also a thing. Did you hear about so and so? You know, that's not small talk, really. That's gossip. Like, I think the school gate conversations are actually pretty decent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing for me is, a neighbour you don't really know, that's a big one, work colleagues, or family members at a function who you're not particularly familiar with, uh, and people at a wedding say, like, I think once you start going to functions,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a, essentially an adult, someone's standing there with a drink, cause that's the key, you gotta have a drink, cup of tea, glass of water, beer, glass of wine, you're standing there, that's an invitation to some kind of social...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, that's the point where you'll say, oh, it's, uh, cousin, uh, cousin Tony. How are you Tony? Yeah, not bad, you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's small talk. That's small talk. You talk about things, things you can see, or things that, like, did you see the news yesterday? No. Ah, yeah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's why the, uh, the company do is always, whenever I work anywhere, when the company goes out, that's always the most fun. Because, if you're with a half decent company. But I find that any company, once people get a few drinks in them,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The jokes come out, everyone relaxes, and it veers from small talk to drunk talk, which is far preferable. And then it's much more, and loads of gossip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think in a way that that, like the reason that the office things go so nuts is because that gives you something to talk about for a good few months after the office party. And then you can start to rib people. Because remember, in most workplaces, you don't really know. Like Sip says, you don't really know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the people, some of them you do. Like I, I, I know Mrs. F has some colleagues she's very tight with. I've, I've got some friends I've made over the years at various places I've worked that I'm still close with and, and friends with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and those people are different, like then you might become friends with them outside work and you actually become proper mates, but the, the party and the gossip and the things that happen there,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give you something to talk to other people about, and to tease about. Wheeey! Look at this! It's Kevin! You want another pint, Kevin? Wheeey! Have a sit down mate, mind the table! Wheeey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So finally, the small talk has a focus, and it's making fun of that time Kevin tried to get up on the table to dance to Beyonce and fell off, which everyone thought was hilarious. I remember when Kevin fell off the table, ahhh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the small talk has sort of been buffed by the, by the office party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you know, from what I've learned from, say, Game of Thrones, staying on the throne for that long, she must have had a lot of people wiped out. I'm talking whole towns. She's played the game. She's played the Game of Thrones. She's been on there for fucking hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] David Icke and all his lot. Uhm, I mean these are people that believe they're gonna get injected with microchips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now my question is this. First of all, what's that microchip meant to do? What do they think it's gonna do? That it's gonna somehow interface with their brain and control them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or do they think it's so that they can be tagged? And it's like, if they go through a metal detector, where it's them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what you're thinking, let's, let's fuel this fire by actually putting tiny microchips in people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a thread the other day, I think it was on Instagram.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's this woman saying that she found out that the chemical, uh, dihydrogen monoxide was present in vaccines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that every, every child who's ever had autism has ingested this dihydrogen monoxide, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not Botox, is it? I thought that was silicon, the lip implants. I thought Botox was the forehead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you read that thread about Steve Ballmer as this was an ex-Microsoft employee?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the cinema and on streaming platforms. Now, that's never been done before, really, to have a major movie not get a cinema release first and then transition later into, uh, you know, streaming and DVD or whatever people wanna watch it on these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, that's a big thing and there's a big battle between the gym producers and the owners, if you like, of the film studios to say no, we just want to get it out there on streaming services and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, I know you have to pay to rent a tenant, you don't get it. It's on Prime, I think. And Mrs. F was like, shall we work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a way, I think, uhm, it's actually not a bad move, but I think the problem is, like, I saw Tenet in the cinema.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And because it's a Nolan movie, I actually wouldn't recommend seeing it in the cinema because you can't do sound mixing properly or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's what I'm saying, it's too consistent and he's too skilled a filmmaker for it to be accidental. It's obviously deliberate and one of the things I read was that he wants the dialogue to almost be lost in the background sound so that you have to lean in and really pay attention. I'm thinking, Chris, I've paid


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that in John Wick the subtitles were sort of graphically fancy on the screen, weren't they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's me, I'm that way. Right, but remember, remember that the way the time travel works in tenor is that you don't travel to a point, you go through the thing, which they never understand, I'm gonna call it the thing, and then you're moving backwards through time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rather than going, I'm gonna go to point A, you just travel backwards. So you actually have to do the walking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somehow, uhm, which is kinda nuts. And also they were like, oh, an inverted bullet hurts even more. And I was like, that's like when they tell you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I very much enjoyed the time stuff in Interstellar because he's just communicating across time rather than actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, they did it right, didn't they? He goes back in time, and he demonstrates how he fucks up the timeline and has to fix it. I thought it was pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where we're going, we won't need explanations of time travel. That's what he should've said. I thought it was fine. It's gonna be real straightforward, Marty. Trust me. Here's one question though, when he comes back to the future, to present day, before he gets in the car with Doc and zooms off to the terrible sequel about the future too,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the third one. That was Back to the Future 3. So anyway, he comes home, his parents are completely different people. Now if that had happened, his entire upbringing would have been wildly different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he doesn't actually know his parents or his brother and sister anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, look how much better your life is. Because your brother and sister are cool people that have jobs and are functional adults, and your parents are in love and everything, and they're wealthy and biff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you don't know that. Your parents are saying, do you remember that holiday we had? Exactly. They were erased. You're now out of time. Back home. So you've arrived back home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all the holidays, all the upbringings, all the family jokes, everything, is a mystery to you. And they'll have to, they'll, you'll have to do the thing where you go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're still in the same fucking house though. That's, that also doesn't make sense. Like, destiny led them to that suburban house. That exact house. Regardless of what Marty did, they bought the same house. The only real difference is they're happier and he has that truck he wanted. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's, uh, I, I, like he, yeah, like he said, I think it worked well because it was so, it was straightforward. He travels once. He goes backwards and then he goes forwards. Like, that's it. There's no fucking about. There's no, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, uh, there's some good time travel movies, Tenet, for anyone that's watched Tenet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same with Back to the Future. And here's another movie I watched when I was a kid. Oddly enough, we all took a cinema trip. Like, you know, a few of the parents took like a bunch of us kids to see The Hunt for Red October, which is a great movie. I watched that the other day on the telly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll give you some lines to help you out. Verify range to target Mr. Facili. One ping only. Remember that bit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You heard the torpedo hit the hull and I was never here. Contact Dallas. Give him the go. Do you remember that bit? No. Well fans of the movie will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the reason that certain movies, and I could list them, but I'll save you the boredom, the reason that certain movies are embedded in my brain is because when I was a kid,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We recorded stuff off the telly onto VHS, right? That was what you did. You recorded movies onto VHS. You'd have a stack of fucking tapes next to your telly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when my mum was at work and it was just me and my sister and there's nothing on telly, we'd stick a movie on. And there were certain movies that I'd stick on because, you know, you've got a limited selection. There's nothing else to do. There's no internet. I didn't have a computer. I was fucking bored out of my mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't want to watch the news or whatever the fuck was on telly. There were only four channels. Most of it was wank. So we'd stick a movie on and things like back to the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hunt for it October, Goodfellas, stuff like that. We've seen like a hundred, two hundred fucking times. Because we just didn't have anything else to watch or do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe. It's got Tom Hanks in, young Tom Hanks doing comedy roles mode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where he was at his best, I think. It's got a gorgeous Carrie Fisher in it as the archetypal hot mum. She's gorgeous, right? Yeah, yeah, she's his wife. Alright. It's got Bruce Dernas in it. I think it's Bruce Dernas as, uh, his sort of ex-military neighbor. Yeah, yeah. And, um, he was in a lot of stuff in the 80s. He was, yeah, he was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but the guys who play the Germans that live in the house, the crazy house, they really crack me up. The old guy whose mouth is completely upturned, like a pug or a fucking French bulldog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just love so many bits in that film, uh, and my sister, my sister and I used to watch that film all the time, so The Burbs has big, big nostalgia energy for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 80s film, John Candy and Steve Martin and they're stuck and he's trying to get home for Thanksgiving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steve Martin really doesn't have any funny lines in the film. Like, it's weird. His entire role in the film is to be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This suffering straight man. Which is so weird for a comedian like Steve Martin. It's like this weird transition from like the jerk and all those films where he was just a clown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And being a bit of a wide boy and, uh, he smokes, you know, cigars and, and he has the, the, the core battle in the film is him and the older daughter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She wants to go out with this guy, Bug, who's a complete piece of shit. And he's like, no, don't do it. And that's basically the film. Uhm. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all high concept, right? It's all high concept.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. I've definitely spoken to Mrs. F about this before, about the plot for a lot of movies. It feels like the elevator pitch was never expanded on. You know, it was literally as simple as, uh, okay, uh, how about this, uh, robot travels back in time to kill a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard your like 30 second review of it, which was just that it was, uh, it was basically why, how have they tried to design a game deliberately to be so boring?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this week I've been playing, I've played a bunch of more board games. I've been trying to play like a new board game every day or two, right, so I've played a bunch of board games this week, uhm, and learned a few. And board games are this thing where you buy a copy and it's like, you know, 40 quid, and you play them once or twice usually, and with maybe a couple of friends or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you're joining pretty late to the party, right? Like it's been going for a year and the people who are still playing are the ones who are decent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, according to my spreadsheet, I've played it 78 times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the kind of car where on a cold day like today it might not start and someone has to get out and push it down the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember the days when, I've, I did that to my dad's car a few times when I was just sort of, you know, like 10 or 11, you know, the car wouldn't start and we'd be stuck in the village and he'd, he'd sort of, I wouldn't be allowed to sit in the driver's seat, you know, be the one, you know, on the wheel. It would be him, him sat there while I, me and my brother were out pushing it, like two kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But however, every time you do it, every time I've seem to have done it recently, I've forgotten the fact that, you know, I'm basically standing above the exhaust pipe and so as soon as the car fucking sputters to life, I just get doused in fumes like a coal miner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've dropped shit on Mars before that's big though, like I think the- I saw the last Mars rover and it was like the size of a fucking small car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the best way to do it. There's some really interesting orbital, like, uhm, mechanics for like moving stuff between...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're careful, you can just give it a little bit of thrust and it will just go in the right direction and then Mars will just catch up with it kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get the impression it's called Perseverance because we all remember the poor British one that just crashed and sort of burned on the surface.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what happens when that thing gets stuck? It's like Farming Sim, do you know what I mean? Then someone has to get another one to free that. And then before you know it, you've just got this conga line of probes stuck in each other on Mars. Just bumping into each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, like, at what point do we, does it, does it become like, just a disaster? But I'm assuming technology's increased in the 10 years, or 20 years maybe, since it was sent. I can't remember, I don't even know when it was sent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think one of the interesting things I heard was that there are other reasons. So you know, at the moment it's like an Nvidia chip shortage, um, because everyone's buying them to make bitcoins and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit, because of course you bloody well your graphics card broke and you had to try and buy a new one. Yeah, let's talk about that in a moment. Oh my god. Well, they're like, anyway, just, interestingly, I think, like, there's a lot of, uhm, they kind of, they kind of understand when they make these chips, right, that the errors will go in and they can't stop them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what they do is they make all these chips, all these, all these chips with all the multi-core chips, and then they test them all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they find that quite a lot of them have cores that don't work. And so what they do is they just disable four or more certain amount of the cores that are defective and then sell those as like the lower end graphics cards, right? And the ones that are all working are just sold as the high end ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's kind of the, it's the same, it's a really strange thing, but I guess it just must be a part of the manufacturing process that these defects just can't be avoided, right? They just slip in and a certain percentage of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it is so bananas. It makes me think like we are living in some alternate, like this is the kind of stuff, I don't know, it's just so complicated. Some of these technology things are like so crazy how they get, how they figured out how to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, because it uses quantum, like, theory and stuff to like, do some of these things as well, which is crazy that... Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, it's too crazy, but the point is that I think when you send something into space, there's a lot of cosmic radiation, and it can, you can understand how that could uhm, you know. Fuck it up! Well, fuck it up basically, because the Earth shields us from almost all of the harmful cosmic rays, but when you look at astronauts' helmets when they've come back, and stuff like this, you see that the cosmic rays have like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We almost created this kind of like these, these jagged, uhm, microscopic pieces of damage through their space suits, right, in space. And so if you're sending a mission


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, I mean, I just, I just find it so interesting that, that, so I think you have to have redundancy, right? You have to have, like, multiple systems. Like the film Armageddon, right? You have two rockets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this, is this, is this, a lot of cards do, you can remove the coolers on them, and put aftermarket coolers on, can you not do that with yours?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. One, one could. I've done that on a couple of my cards before, uhm, in the past. Good for you. But, a lot of them now have this, are like this one big block, right, and they're not designed to have the stuff removed anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeez. So yeah, I feel like it's time for an upgrade when you're opening your PC and putting a poor fan in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does look pretty, it's a pretty, I mean, I can't really think of many other games that are as graphically intensive at the moment. I mean, given that, bear in mind that like, things like, the newest things like Cyberpunk are kind of designed to be run on a fucking Xbox 360, do you know what I mean, or whatever, like a fucking garbage


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we know this, but it's kind of this thing where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's actually to do with Taiwan being shut down, like the factory where they make some key components or some key thing being shut down because of coronavirus. I think that's what actually has caused the shortage. I think the Bitcoin thing is part of it, but I don't think it's the overriding factor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I mean that's it, that, I mean Bitcoin, are you guys, are you, how's, did you, how's your Bitcoin done? Cause it's gone up crazy, it's, it's crazy Bitcoin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could probably say it's gonna keep going up until you understand it, and then as soon as you understand it and buy bitcoin, that's when it's gonna peak. No, I would never buy one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where did you find out about this hemp farm business opportunity, and tell me more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly don't think that old folks are that against weed, like, I mean, some of the old folks are, sure, but I think, if I spoke to my parents about it, and said, y'know, would you, would you like this doobie, uhm, I wouldn't say it like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure they should, like, have a backwards cap on and be graffitiing Jersey Weed Farm in bright green spray paint. I'm just saying that it's like- Jersey Weed Farm!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you wanna, I think you wanna call it like, fucking, um, you wanna, you wanna be, when you pitch your thing, you have to be honest about what you're doing, and if they're calling it a hemp farm, then I assume...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you might be just investing in a rope farm, Sips, which doesn't feel...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly think we should, uh, uh, uh, uh, most of the old grandmas that I've ever met have always been, oh, a bit anxious about this, dearie, and I think they could do with just a chill out kind of smoke of a little, you know, a little spliff, you know? They could do with a little toke. Just saying. We don't need to give them like a full on bubble bong and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think she'd get that on her own, though. I think the point is, you'd hook her up with some, like, you'd teach her, like, one time, and then you'd come back next month, and she'd have, like, been on the internet and ordered, like, a fucking mega-weed load or something. A mega-weed. A mega-load.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, there is that cultural cons- you know, everyone knows someone who is like a stereotypical stoner, even now, yeah. Like, it definitely feels like that's the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before we continue, this week's episode of the Triforce Podcast is brought to you by Manscaped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think I could speak for all of us when I say that we've let ourselves go a little bit during lockdown. And if you guys think it's getting a bit untamed down there, maybe you could use a bit of spring cleaning. I can recommend Manscaped, they sent us all a great little package, the perfect package, and I've been maintaining my package with Manscaped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can get 20% off and free shipping using the code triforce at manscaped.com. There is also now a cologne available.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a signature scent. I think it's quite nice. It's light, approachable and gentlemanly. So yeah, it's, uh, as we, as we move on, maybe you haven't seen anyone for ages and you've forgotten what


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interacting with other people. Looks like get yourself cleaned up before you start going outside again. Thank you very much to Manscaped. You can get 20% off of free shipping with the code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Triforce, uh, Manscaped.com, you can look good, smell good, feel good with Manscaped. Triforce, Manscaped.com, 20% off, free shipping, please, please support the podcast. Thank you everybody, uh, on with the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, for example though, like, if you were to invest in something, right, like, what, like, and I gave you, like, you know, there was like hemp farm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe like a graphics card manufacturer, maybe like, you know, maybe like something like, what would you, would you, like, one thing that, for example, I've always thought was fun is, do you remember when we went to Seattle Sips, with Valve, and we went to a board game cafe in Seattle? Oh, that was nice, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a kind of cool place, it was like a board game shop, really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like well designed, it didn't feel like overwhelming, you know, I think it could easily be, like a lot of these board game cafes that I've been to are very sticky, like the games are like really old and really shabby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they, yeah, you're almost like, in a, certainly in a post-COVID world, you're like, oh god, um, I'm dragging out this board game and I'm like, oh god, do I want to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do the gang signs. Oh my god. It did have, it did have like a gang. You don't want to know about that. That's another story entirely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it sort of felt like that sort of size, right, like the board game, you know, you'd sometimes go to clubs or things at the village hall and they'd have like, you know, like, I dunno, like there'd be some, some event there and it would be, it was almost at the same size as this thing and it wasn't, but it wasn't too big, sips, to feel like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vast arena with tables stretching into the distance, you know, in these straight lines. It felt like a bar restaurant, but anyway, was that something that you would invest in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We never managed to like get in touch with the right people to like get a chocolate milk that we could market as like, cause I want to drink Jersey chocolate milk. It's really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd be surprised, like, sometimes the way businesses happen is there's like a local cheese manufacturer or something like this, and you talk to the person who runs it, cause sometimes I meet these random people, and 90% of their cheese just goes straight to China or Japan or some weird market. Yeah, there's something weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, so I mean, obviously, uh, these things are much like any asset which is limited in terms of how many there are. There could only ever be 21 million bitcoins. So the point is that, how much it costs to generate a bitcoin, I think, I think bitcoin currently uses more power than, I think, something like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, so it's exponentially harder to get them, and that means that the cost of making them will always increase, so eventually, to make a new bitcoin it will cost sixty thousand, or eighty thousand, it'll keep going as much as, in the same way that it costs, there's only so much gold or silver in the earth's crust, and it'll cost more to get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be purchased by? No. Alright. You own it at that point. It's in your wallet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a, so a millionth of a Bitcoin is called a Satoshi, which is like, um, named after the person who may or may not exist. The pseudonym of the inventor. The pseudonym of the creator of the code of Bitcoin, originally. And there's a lot of people who theorise, it's an open mystery of who it is. A few people have admitted to being here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the idea is that the process of generating new bitcoins also processes all of the transactions, right? So it's kind of a self-fulfilling thing, right? All the servers that are used to deal with all the complicated shit is part and parcel of the mining a new one, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But listen, you can see where those bitcoins went and were spent eventually though, right, as well. So you can see, I mean, it goes through systems, but for example, if someone tried to buy a Tesla with a load of stolen bitcoins, you'd know that the stolen bitcoins were the ones that were used. And you'd be able to say, okay, the Tesla turned up on this guy's doorstep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, there must be a way that you could get away with it. I don't know what that is though, and I don't know how complicated it is. I'm not an expert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It felt like it was a safer place for their money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dan, the currency and I think that people are, we are living in this post-truth world of like, of kind of madness and worry and fear and people not trusting in governments, people not trusting in


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Financial systems, look at the stock, look at the Reddit thing, you know, it's this definite sentiment that the existing...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's always been, for as long as there have been systems, there has been people who are skeptical of the systems and don't trust the systems, and you have to have those peoples to keep the system clean, right? You have to have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do have to have, like, there's always been people who've been keeping money under their bed and, or, you know, buying gold coins and burying them in a fucking wood. It's been, there's always been these people, and there's always gonna be these people, and Bitcoin is just the latest version of people feeling like they need to protect themselves. Because a lot of people's idea of what quantitative easing is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just causing, you know, printing vast amounts of money and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's like, it feels like, I don't know, it just feels like, like you actually own something, I don't know, it's, I'm not really a confer, because I guess, but I feel like it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a, there's this, there's this sentiment right out there where people are, want to try something different. And it's, I think it is as easy as buying like Path of Exile, doing Path of Exile trade sips. You just log into a website and you just do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you have bitcoins in your wallet, you know, it's not like, it's not like completely difficult to do. And I also think that what we've got is uhm, I think the mainstream have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Caught on. I think a lot of big investment houses, a lot of big banks and people who manage huge amounts of money for people have put 1% of their portfolio in Bitcoin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and so that's, that's made it huge. And I think that will always keep it, you know, at a certain, I think it's, it's got over this threshold where it isn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To some people they like it as a compa- like a way to compare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Value. And I, I don't know, like as a currency, I just think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think because people have hooked onto it. I'm not sure about all the others. That's what I'm more dubious about. I don't really understand why all the others are so successful as well. I assume it's just people hedging their bets and thinking, oh, maybe, maybe someone's going to adopt Bitcoin as the official currency of something. And I don't know, like, are we, are we going to get to a point where we have credit cards and we just beep them and they, they pay for everything in Bitcoin?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's tricky, right? I think the big problem is that, you know, what we've learned, it's supposed to be, what we're supposedly supposed to have learned over the last 50 years is that, you know, you, the government needs tools to mess with the currency of their country. Very much. And if we do,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was one of the main things that caused the problem in Rome, because these things just don't work. People will find a way. It's like the classic story of the fucking people paying in India for the snakes, you know, it's like, oh, you know, bring a snake to us and we'll pay you a dollar, you know, to get rid of the snakes. And suddenly everyone's making snake farms and so they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they did it recently with carbon capture as well, so they had this idea of carbon capture credits, like if you didn't, you know, if you created these things which basically were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, to do with processes that use less CO2, then you would be able to redeem these carbon capture credits and get tax free or save money or whatever. And what they found was that these companies were just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I completely agree. We can't help it. We love board games, we love video games, we try and game everything. Everyone tries to game everything all the time and there's some people who devote their whole life


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he was the parish clerk of, of Doddinghurst, right, and which was the only, I believe it's the only paid, it's the only actual paid member of the parish council or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you don't get paid very much, but I think it's like a kind of local accountant for the village, and you sort of do things. Uhm, I don't think you have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These awful people who, you know, in the village, who were generally old busybodies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the kind of shit you see on, I guess, village Facebook groups, you know, or village WhatsApp groups where they're incredibly nosy and they complain about things like, there's an unusual car been parking in my road, you know, for the last week. As if that's something you'd call the police about, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and they're incredibly upset about this, this thing, right? And these things are full of people complaining about mostly dog shit, uh, in the local region. Okay. And there's always like, I read this on the other day, but there's, there's this great story and people have stories about like what's going on and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's usually local vigilantes dealing with the dog poo in some way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, like the classic example is Wanksy, who was the guy who spray painted dicks around potholes in the road. Do you remember? So he'd see a pothole in the road and to draw attention to it and get the accounts to fix it, he'd spray paint a fluorescent massive cock around it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and it would be hilarious, right? Um, and so, but other people have sort of taken his message on board, and so this one person has been, every time they see a dog shit, they've been just spray painting it with fluorescent yellow paint or whatever, right? So I think that's a good idea. Avoid turning it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently one thing he did was uhm, he spray-painted, he saw a guy who did it and was walking away from the dogshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we should start spray painting arrows in front of their houses, in that case, because then someone's gonna send some help around, do you know what I mean? They need help!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause, cause when I sold this to Duncan, he was like, upset because he thought-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think 99% of the people who leave dog shits outside are not thinking, oh I'll come back and clean this up, or are actually doing it, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that is. And the reason is, is because, um, I was hanging out with some of my, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Easter weekend's just been. Now, Easter weekend, a time when the bunny has hidden things around for people to find, and you have to scavenge around for them, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is what, what I did this weekend was, I won't name these people I hung out with from the office, but uhm, they were using this app called