[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Conviction, uh, was the problem. Uh, turns out conviction was the problem. Uh, yes, that is, you know, this is a big week too. Your birthday is in two days, right? The third? Well, it'll be the day before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, your birthday, yeah, the third. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And this will be out the fourth. Uh, so, oh, bread baskets. Happy birthday. Got a little birthday coming up. Just to assume you guys got me something. I did. I got you this podcast. Uh, I, they, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's funny. Yeah, that's pretty good. Uh, Aaron approves. I, uh, uh, we will have an election, which we're not going to talk about that. Uh, it hasn't happened yet. It hasn't happened yet. It'll be happening tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to do a joke about it. I was debating if I was going to do it on this podcast or save it for on stage. I like to keep stuff, uh, to save it for the stand up. I don't know. It's about the idea of like celebrities telling people to vote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to do too many, you know, but it's just so funny. I mean, that's what we're not going to be. That infuriates me. Just celebrities that are like, hey, everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You somehow figured out how to log into Instagram, but maybe you don't know how to vote. Like that's the, like that's how stupid these people are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You figured out a password for Facebook, but maybe you forgot voting.


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[Assistant] I don't know if you've heard, but there's a president that's like the boss of the country and people vote. Do you know when people are at home like, what? What is that? That's what I think. How stupid do you, there are people, the audacity to talk to an audience is insane to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it infuriates me. I will never, I mean, I hope, I hope, but I don't ever plan on telling someone to vote. I just can't imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My high school education is the thing that you need to hear from. I just don't think that...


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[Assistant] You know, I'm the one that's going to be like, Hey everybody, I know you somehow have a Netflix account and.


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[Assistant] You figured that out, but you can't figure out voting. Stay in line if they come push you out of the line. Just telling them all these.


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[Assistant] The long things, they're gonna stop you, they're gonna, you know.


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[Assistant] Make sure you get out there and vote. It's, uh, these people are the worst, the worst ally. I mean, I, I think about it all the time. I think about how angry I get. I just celebrities telling, uh, people that are smarter, their audience that is smarter than them. Their audience is way smarter than them. We go watch your dumb movie and then you go, Hey, I never thought about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love Jennifer Aniston. I love her. But yeah, I mean going Instagram going, Hey everybody, you might not know, but there's an election coming up. Like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm watching, yeah, yeah, I've found you. You're kind of a popular thing.


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[Assistant] So if I found you, I would imagine I could find out that there's an election going on. And no one's just sitting at home going, is that today? Is that?


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[Assistant] It's unbelievable. That's the joke. I'm already ruining it. That's the idea of it. That's like reminding people to eat!


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[Assistant] That's like, if you made an announcement going, Hey everybody, if you eat, did you eat food today? And they're like, what? What is food? Well, I'm a celebrity and I know that you should eat. Remember to get out there and eat. Remember to get out there and eat. Is your stomach feel weird? That's cause you haven't eaten.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you gotta do it. Today's the day. Every day, actually, you need to eat. It's unreal, dude.


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[Assistant] It's, it's, it's, uh, the most talk. You talk down to just every person alive.


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[Assistant] That just sits there. If you found this podcast, I would imagine you've heard about boating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you found anybody that just is not in your house, like if you're living in a house,


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[Assistant] And your dad goes vote and you're like, I didn't know to vote, but I've been locked in the basement for 18 years. That person should hear about voting.


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[Assistant] If you know who Brad Pitt is, I imagine you've heard about voting. Just the, just if you flat out are like, I've seen one of the Avenger movies, then I'm sure you've stumbled upon something about voting.


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[Assistant] No, you like it though. You like that they say it, right? I don't care one way or the other. I think it's insulting. I think it's wild.


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[Assistant] And they go, oh, okay. Explain, Jeremy Renner, how do you do it though? Oh, wow. It is, it's, all right, you ready for this? You ready for this? Do you have a, do you have a driver's license? They're like, I don't know, you know, an ID? You have anything? You have a wallet? He's like, I don't know, I carry my stuff in a plastic bag. Okay. That's fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In that plastic bag, do you have a thing with your picture of your face on it by any chance?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well go show that. And then there's, there's buttons.


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[Assistant] And you press the button of the person that you want to be president. And you press that button and it works. And that's what's gotta happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen those mailboxes? You write it in. You gotta write it in.


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[Assistant] And then you write in the person of the, of that's running for the boss of the country. They're going to be the boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so we're all going to go decide, Hey, who gets to be that boss? And then someone at home is like, I mean, I get a choice. Yeah, you get a choice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] None of you went to school. How you doing? I've made millions of dollars and I'm smarter and more famous than you. That's what they're saying to everybody.


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[Assistant] Hey, whatever the date is, they go, when is it? Then where ours is, ours is coming after the election. That's what I'm talking about. We tell you to vote the day. I, was it yesterday? I didn't, dad gum it. I took my note, my Jen Aniston notifications off and I must've missed it. That's what I think they think. Like it's, it would be like if you went to a movie and you watched a movie with a, it's like Captain America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you only see stuff that he says and then he goes, Hey, do you have voting tomorrow? You're like, no, I was waiting for you to tell. I don't, I only listened to you. What's, is the weather going to be nice?


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, no, no, no, I didn't know that. I only watch your movies all day long and I just, I just follow you. So it's tomorrow. Wow. And I get to say in it, I get to push a button. It's going to be hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's eh, it makes me, I, I don't, I didn't know when it, like would that joke work?


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[Assistant] After the election? I mean, I thank you. I don't know. I think you can make it work whenever, and I think by the time I would ever shoot another special, we'd be back to another election.


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[Assistant] So I bet it can always come back around and I'm sure I'll have more stuff. It drives me nuts, dude. It's the nerve. You got one more day of it. One more day of, and they're going hard now. I mean, just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think your goal is to get famous enough to be like, I got to tell people to vote. And I love people. I love the not famous people doing it. The ones that like, we have friends that are just, you're like, nobody cares. No one listens to your art that you do good at much less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, let me talk to, dude, they're talking to random states.


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[Assistant] There's people that celebrities in California are going, Hey Georgia, crazy. Can't sell out a bar in Georgia.


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[Assistant] Hey, Pennsylvania, all my Pennsylvania fans, you probably haven't heard about an election.


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[Assistant] And you're like, do we need it? Maybe we need all of it. Or maybe we need none of it. Alright.


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[Assistant] But the point of this is we're still not talking about anything. We're making fun of them talking about this stuff.


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[Assistant] I don't think anybody's going to be like, guys don't talk about Paul. I'm saying you're right. No one should. You should listen to your aunt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Nicholas Jones, someone who gets significant anxiety, especially on current events. It's awesome to have such a funny podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, he's not sleeping tonight. Uh, Nicholas, welcome back up buddy. I'm sorry. Yeah, Nicholas is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pacing the room. Uh, Betty Boop, are we fans of the podcast officially called Folks or Nate Landers? Please share ideas so Biscotti can get a list going. Are fans of, oh, are they called Folks or Nate Landers? I like both of those. Folks or Nate Landers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can take a vote. Warriors? Can we do a vote for warriors? Warriors are good. You wanna just call the podcast your podcast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are the people submitting the ideas. Uh, the, I would say we should do a vote. We could do a vote. Folks, Nate Landers, we're all equal. I always feel weird kind of sometimes saying it. Cause you're like, you guys are doing just as good as I'm doing in life, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But remember to vote. Uh, folks, Nate Landers, we should do a vote. We should do a vote. Hey everybody. You feel weird? You get out there and that's our, that's our election is going, Hey, you might not have heard. How you doing? Nate Barghetti here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what? You feel weird saying what? I always feel weird about saying fans. You do say fans. I just, it always just, and again, I think it's come into the people just going, talking to their fans, I think is kind of disgusting.


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[Assistant] I think it's gross to be, it's like, I'm trying to be an entertainer, I hope that I can, I want you to be a fan of me, I want you to like what I do.


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[Assistant] But I'm not above you. I'm just like, here's my thing that I create that's funny that I try to just be your, your away-ness from all the nonsense. I'm not going to talk to you like I'm your, the lord of, you know, and that's how people, that's, and I think that's what it comes off to me as, as people going,


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[Assistant] Let me tell my, I gotta, you know, you gotta platform. Go tell your fans to do what you think is right. Like, I think that's crazy.


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[Assistant] You, I mean, you hope to have a lot of fans, but, uh...


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[Assistant] But I do see it, I do like the idea of folks, because we would all be one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would be a folk, or Nate Lander, or part of the Breakfast Club. We'd be in it too.


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[Assistant] Alex Irvin brought my 65 year old mother to the show in Houston and when Baba O'Reilly left the stage, I said, I love breakfast.


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[Assistant] And this of course raised an immediate question, which I was happy to answer. Yesterday, she and I were driving somewhere and talking about the show. She said, yeah, I like Billy Bob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just gave an improving nod with a golf clap. Very proud. She gets it. She gets it. She gets it. My mom is 65. Me and Alex might be the same age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Harrison Kesey I think was his name. Harrison Kesey, Harrison and Lauren, maybe you guys get together.


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[Assistant] Be honest with you, there's a great chance that show's not happening in December, so maybe I have to keep rolling it forward. All my shows are, they still...


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[Assistant] Look, these places have to open up. And that's the problem. So if you have these dates...


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[Assistant] I will reschedule these dates so you can obviously just hang on to these tickets and then they are just, whenever it comes back around, it's just going to be at a later date. I get asked that a lot. Uh, I have no control over this. I had some people, some guy in the Netflix, uh, special, he emailed, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My website or something and said, uh, yo Nate, what's up with all the hoops for the special? And you're like.


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[Assistant] And he's like, what's the, a test? Like you're like, yeah dude, it's co- I mean, the whole world shut down.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You're like, I don't, you're like, I know ma'am, but I'm just trying to be safe. And I want, I want to make sure you want it. How much do you want it? Jessica van de Putt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a chance I said that right. No? You don't think so?


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[Assistant] Hello folks, I'm a couple episodes behind, but this is in response to Harrison's comment, shooting my shot on Natalyn Harrison. I'm that single 29 year old woman ready for some popcorn at the drive in. Harrison, you got too much going on. I mean Harrison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He got Jessica and Lauren. I mean, I don't, you know, it's getting out of control. Harrison living it up, living his best life. I mean, I don't, he might not, you know, he's got a lot. He's like, I just got a lot to think about. He just paused the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just clicked on both of the, he's now, he's now going through the comments trying to find out where were they, where were their comments at? I mean, as they are doing the same, they might have already done it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they probably already did it. And so that's why they're like, wow, Harrison was a good looking fella. And so then they, they already


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[Assistant] I would bet, I would bet. And now Harrison has paused us and he's ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba typing in. Uh, he's like, uh, Lauren C and Jessica van de Poot.


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[Assistant] Coco Hubert. Love the podcast suggestion for Nate. If people can't be nice in comments, don't read them. Completely understand why Aaron would get offended at the comment by someone named White Bread.


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[Assistant] This podcast should be fun, not demeaning or insulting. Thank you, Coco.


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[Assistant] We try not to be, we try not to, like, you know, a lot of times, we talked about that earlier on, people do...


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[Assistant] You comment on the mean comments, those are usually the ones that you're gonna have a conversation with. Uh, but I think we've done, I mean you guys have done great with comments in the fact that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're funny and they're actually, there's something to them. We have a lot of them. Most of them you couldn't, if they're just, Hey, this podcast is great. You're not, no one's going to want to hear us read 15 of those, but these are legit long podcasts. They're actually, people enjoy hearing what they're going to say.


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[Assistant] So they've done a very good job, and uh, I agree. I agree with white bread though. Uh, I don't remember what white bread said, but something like that.


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[Assistant] Uh, sorry Cocoa, White Bread is, welcome, White Bread is sitting in this, he's our fact checker. Uh, Jeremy Powell, you know,


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[Assistant] You know how when you kind of look good, hold on, hold on, let's start over. This is like a trip to the starting line.


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[Assistant] You know how when you're kinda good looking and you hang out with ugly people it makes you more attractive? The same goes when you're funny and hang out with unfunny people. It makes you look hilarious. Somehow Nate assembled a crew that compliments him on both fronts. Oh, right into the mean comment.


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[Assistant] You picked the comments. Do you agree? Do you like that? I mean, I think Jeremy gets it. I wouldn't read it out loud, but I, you know, I don't know. Jeremy's inside my brain somehow. Uh, I mean.


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[Assistant] Me and Jeremy could have said that we would sit there. He sounds like my agent that's telling me. And I'm like, yeah, man. He goes, you're doing, yeah. Later tater nader. Just love it. How blueberry breakfast always says that.


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[Assistant] County of where the town is in before he says the town's name. That's how older people talk.


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[Assistant] You say you're from this small town and older people just hit you with the county name like it's a game show question. That is a very funny, I love like that, Wilson County.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, there's, I went to, uh, you know, Davidson County the other day. Dixon, I was in Dixon. Like, Dixon's always been described as Dixon to me in Nashville. I don't think I've ever really known where it's at either.


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[Assistant] I kinda do. What do you mean? Where Dixon is in Nashville.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. But isn't it Dixon County too? Yeaah. But it's, I don't ever know where it's at. People always go, oh I went to Dixon today. And I'm like, alright. I want to say it's uh, west. It is. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean I think I could get there, but it's just, I never went to Dicks in a ton.


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[Assistant] But Dixon's the most I get told someone's going to Dixon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eight old women that listening to this that perked up. Oh, finally getting some topical stuff going. Uh. He knows where Dixon is now. That mean.


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[Assistant] It's, uh, yeah, that was like, I feel like in Kramer, the Merv Griffin set.


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[Assistant] He goes, uh, what about a co-host? I'll pretend I didn't hear that.


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[Assistant] Candice Dot, hello folks! Just wanted to say I learned something new every time I listen to you guys. For instance, this episode, Urban Legends, I learned that I shouldn't have listened to this when I was grocery shopping alone at night. I was so paranoid while walking into my car and putting my groceries away. And yes, I checked my van for serial killers and had Journey Ready Play for my drive home.


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[Assistant] P.S. If Nate reads this, he is bound to say my last name incorrectly. It's pronounced Do-Tay.


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[Assistant] I like how she put that at the end. See, that's what I'm talking about, these good comments. They're good. They do it, and then there's a little surprise at the end.


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[Assistant] Jason Gott, when Nate said he thought Mr. Rogers was too quiet for the military, it reminded me that Bob Ross actually was a drill instructor and then he decided to be a painter. He also decided he would never scream.


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[Assistant] And yell like that again and just became super mellow.


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[Assistant] That's where he gets it at. He still wants it. He still wants to do it. What if his, uh, family at home was just horrified with him? I mean, we just only saw this. We're like, God, that super mellow. And then his wife and kids were like, I mean, it was, every day was a war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every day, we woke up to war. And just, he's just, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, all day long. And then he's just calm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dario Stolich, love the pod, love the whole crew, especially book show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just wanted to give my two cents on Nate saying that no one ever sees a ghost in like full human shape and form. When I was young, 11 to 12 years old, I woke up early one Saturday morning, was making my way downstairs into the kitchen as usual to make myself breakfast. But to my surprise, there was a man in the kitchen wearing a full white suit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looking sharp, almost as if he was going to a wedding or something formal.


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[Assistant] I kind of just nodded and smiled at him because I was shy, I was the shy kid and went downstairs where I heard my mom cleaning the ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who the man in the kitchen was, to say the least. She was very confused and in shock.


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[Assistant] As she proceeded to tell me we were home alone and there was no way.


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[Assistant] Someone else was in the house. So on my case, I did in fact see someone just as clear as I see any real person and it confirmed it to me. My mom looked around the house. Sure enough, no one was there. Wow. Dario Stoic. Dario. It's pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a pretty good one, man. That's one, you're not gonna convince that guy out of it. No. That guy's, he's like, I saw it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He saw what he saw. Man in a white suit. I believe him. His mom's still like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How, you know, his mom was like, uh, and it's like someone else is a, her boyfriend. I was gonna say her mom. Yeah. And she goes, no, it was a ghost. And that's how dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm just so lucky. I go, what does that mean? What? That would be the way to play it with a kid. No one's here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then just that guy runs out and then they still, they still laugh at it to this day. Ari was a ghost. Uh, Holly Stone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a good name. Holly Stone. I like that name. Stone's it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I briefly grabbed that stranger's baby and did not know the difference for at least a minute and only realized it due to the name tag. I still cringe about it from time to time. I could see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, you just can't know, but I, I do, I would get the feeling of just, it would, I would be like that. It would just, I would think about it all the time. It would never get out of my head. And just cause you accidentally, but you gotta just think of it as funny. I think that helps you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's gotta look at it, and I think the way to get out of it is like, you gotta tell it as a funny story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then that's what makes your brain go like, yeah, it was funny. Like obviously no one can tell. I mean babies are babies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brooke Hubs, I worked in movie theater. The popcorn is popped with a small amount of dried butter combined with oil, which gives it the yellow color and the option to add liquid butter is asked of the customer. Same for microwave popcorn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why you see the butter residue on the inside of the bag. If you get unflavored, unseasoned popcorn, then yeah, it's white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that was you, you said popcorn was white, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked to an expert. He worked at a movie theater. That's the taboo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Chris, love the podcast, but you're wrong about gang bangers and flashing headlights being an urban legend. I grew up in the country in Washington state and there were lots of drugs in my town growing up and the gangs that came into town were doing the headlight drive-bys. I was once chased and shot at twice and a buddy I went to school with took three shots all because we flashed our headlights.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chris, I'd like to hear more to that story to be honest buddy. I want a little bit more. I'm sure something, he's like, well we screamed at him. You're like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sneaky with the drug problem there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you don't think about it, but they have some, it's some real big problems.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's where they're at. Uh, alright, that is crazy though. I mean, if that's true, I mean, golly, you imagine that just, you truly, like, don't flash your headlights. Uh, why would they move to Washington state to do drugs? You know? What's up there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said there was a lot of drugs. Well, I think it's, yo, you don't think people move for drugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't think people move into town? I heard there's good drugs here. I think small towns across America just have drugs. Uh, you know, a lot of counties. Justin Barcellos. I'm pretty sure the swallowing spiders, bugs in your sleep is an urban legend. I always believed it myself, but Google says it's fake.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you never what? Never five feet from a spider?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ryan Dance, I love how concerned Bathtub was about the cardio conditioning of the Jasons at the end of the Haunted tours and making sure they got enough time to rest up in between scaring small children out of their tiny little baby minds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Truly a kind soul this world doesn't deserve. Love the podcast guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, we talked about that haunted house tour too. We looked that up after we got done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the one in Nashville, that's the scariest one. And that guy's just crazy. So, uh, yeah, it didn't look real, yeah, we looked it up. It's a, yeah. After we said that, we're like, if anybody, or I was like, if anybody goes to it, let us know, which, but no one's ever made it through, but I don't think anybody can.


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[Assistant] Because he's giving a hundred grand to make it through. He's not letting you go through. I mean, he's burying you alive. You would have to be willing to basically trust that this guy's gonna not kill you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what, that's what you would have to be. He's gonna push you enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're gonna have to go, well he can't kill me, but you also have to be fine with him killing you. And truthfully, killing you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, not a joke, not fun. I mean, he's burying people and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really a real life villain. He's not more level headed. Uh, you know, uh, all right, let's do some of these from the big foot and we'll get started. Dallas, Gambriel. I like how other podcasts bring in experts. We're talking about space today. So our guest is a theoretical physicist, physicist. Yep. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you guys doing? We're talking Bigfoot, so today our guest is a guy who used to work with my sister. That's who we want to talk to.


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[Assistant] Jeff Stapleton. Aaron took both Nate's place as the star of the show and Briggs' worry face, especially on video. Aaron seems to consistently struggle to contain his reactions and comments to just about everything Kevin says.


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[Assistant] Watching him react was absolutely my favorite part of the episode. There was nothing better than when we finally see him break with Nate's civilian stations comment. People like the civilian stations, right?


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[Assistant] That's what I'm gonna stick to. Well, I did that on purpose because I'm a comedian, a professional comedian. And uh, when Nate says civilian stations, I was in the carpool to pick my kids up from their new school. I was supposed to say their names so they could call them out. I could not speak and was ugly crying with no sound coming out. The carpool lady was not amused.


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[Assistant] They will be taking the bus starting Monday. Thanks, Nate. Totally worth it. Oh, got them out of picking up the kids. That was Garrison Richard. Oh, Garrison Richard.


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[Assistant] That's how, that's what a school is. Jason Lohorn, sounds like a guy that goes looking for him.


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[Assistant] Bigfoot. If we said, we're talking to Jason Lohorn today, he's the expert on Bigfoot, you would be like, okay. You go, alright. He's got some fossils. Yea, like I'd love to hear Jason. I think Bigfoot and aliens could be a demonic phenom, right? Phenomenon. Oh, phenomenon. Demonic phenomenon.


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[Assistant] That word just kinda keeps on going, don't it? Like, I mean, it just...


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[Assistant] It's like you kind of go finam, and then the word goes a little bit more. No? Almost there. Oh, fa-ma-ma-na-na-na. And they go perfect.


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[Assistant] How many people see it? I've heard that about aliens. Yeah. They're demons. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I'll just kind of briefly say that. I like that this is a kind of, oh yea, aliens are supposed to be demons too. Okay.


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[Assistant] Uh, CoreyMP, uh, I'd just like to just brush off.


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[Assistant] Literally just found out there's more than one Bigfoot. Oh wow. Quora. Who, y'all both believe that, right?


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[Assistant] I guess I just don't ever remember my first day of learning. Uh, y'all remember your first day too. Y'all, I feel like y'all go, I remember I was eight years old. It was a Sunday evening and someone brought a big foot to me. I just don't remember.


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[Assistant] But you're talking about one of a group, you know? What would tip that off though?


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[Assistant] I just don't know, I don't know how I learned about Bigfoot. I don't remember. So I just...


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[Assistant] Always, there's, I mean they're all over the country. There's Bigfoot sightings all over the country. I don't think Bigfoot, I wouldn't believe in Bigfoot if there was one and all these sightings were all over. I wouldn't believe then because he could, was he flying everywhere?


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Could be kids listening to this podcast too. I still believe in them. Oh man. We're going to bleep that out. How does that feel to just ruin everything for everybody? Uh, you know, I mean, we're supposed to be a clean podcast and then you come out here.


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[Assistant] And just- That would feel real bad. I don't think there's an- Hey look, my daughter, her age ain't making it this far into the comments.


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[Assistant] Uh, she checked out a while ago, to be honest. We, Holly might be gone.


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[Assistant] Uh, David Campbell, I've enjoyed every podcast, but this one, I'm guessing Bob Cack picked this topic. You'd be wrong, David. It's me. I love Bigfoot.


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[Assistant] I picked it. I think I said I picked it. I feel like anyone listening should be able to tell that. Yeah, I like that stuff. Uh, yeah. Yeah, well.


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[Assistant] I liked it. I thought it was kind of fun. Talked about a lot of different stuff. The point of it is to- that's-


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[Assistant] I can't talk about the same thing every time. I'd rather, I think we have a better chance of being funny when we talk about


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[Assistant] Crazy stuff, we got civilian stations out of it. You ain't getting that when you're talking about voting.


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[Assistant] Vote at your civilian station today. Is that where you would vote?


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[Assistant] Jay Durant. Maybe Kevin Durant's brother? Possibly. There is a rumor that this might be the best Nate Land episode so far. Such a great episode. Especially when Aaron lost it at the end. Fantastic show gents. Much love from Austin. Uh, thank you.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. Yeaah, that was a lot of comments. But again, we don't have- Two weeks worth. Yes, two weeks worth of comments, and we don't have much, uh, this topic might not be good this week. That's correct. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] You know, we, we gotta get back in the groove of it. I think we will, you know, I think this is about a fun one. This is another one that's, uh, not much. It's about a big, what is it? Another, it's another Bigfoot episode. I'm going to, every three weeks we do a Bigfoot episode until we eventually get everybody out and we're down to 80 people that.


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[Assistant] I love this podcast. I mean, like that just, you know.


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[Assistant] I saw, I thought I saw somewhere reddit, or maybe redditors, they said that we talk about a Bigfoot, but didn't have an expert.


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[Assistant] And then, but someone said they like, they were like, I think it's good. Cause all bigfoot people, they listen to the same experts over and over. So I think they just want to hear, you know, it'd be.


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[Assistant] Like being a Vanity fan, when ESPN talks about Vanity forever, I'm going to listen more than the average person. So Bigfoot doesn't get, we're not saying we're ESPN, but you don't ever hear, just, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the dog man is what Kevin wants to know about. So he thinks if there's anybody that knows about this dog man, have any, Kevin is, he's, I think he is like, we're going to get some dog man comments. And he wants to go down that.


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[Assistant] Uh, trail. Is that what you would say? Uh, that path. He wants to dive into trying to be more of a dog man guy. So if you got any dog man stuff, feel free to comment. You and Kevin were guys that connect you. My sister will connect you guys and then you guys can, uh.


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[Assistant] We'll do a full Dogman episode if you guys find Dogman. Uh, alright, so this week we're gonna talk about laws. You know? Uh, I guess kind of is election time, so we'll talk about the laws. How are laws made?


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[Assistant] I don't know, but they're just there. Yeah. That song, I'm a bill and they get stuff up. I learned about the government every day. I learned something.


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[Assistant] I like when they explain, I do, I make fun of them to tell me what to vote. I do like when it gets explained to me real dumb though. I'll be like, what is this guy? He thinks we're all idiots. I record it, secretly record it and watch it later alone. What is it? You think we're stupid? Press record.


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[Assistant] Uh, I mean, we're not going to talk about the basic laws, but, uh, one that I just, just to get us into it, uh, is the McDonald's, the hot coffee lawsuit. That was the big law thing. They did a Seinfeld episode about it. Uh, and there's a great documentary about that where it's, you find out it's actually, what they did was wrong.


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[Assistant] What McDonald's did was wrong. The coffee was too hot, it was an elderly lady, almost killed her.


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[Assistant] It's just a different class? Why didn't they talk about it in mock trial? Wouldn't that be the main place to talk about it?


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[Assistant] I just didn't have college, you know? Business school. I mean, dude, we talked about, uh, math. I did math problems.


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[Assistant] Like regular math problems at Ball State Community College. I did, I did speech. Did you have speech in college? No one took speech?


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[Assistant] Yea, we would do, I talked about Vanderbilt, uh, I showed the highlight film of Vanderbilt's 95, 96 season. Where we went 5 and 6. Or 96, 97 season, I guess. And we went 5 and 6. I think it was just the 96 season.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. We lost to LSU. It was the one where we lost, we barely lost to LSU that started it down. And I got an A plus on it. That's the only A plus I got was in that speech class.


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[Assistant] I remember not, I mean I say this in my act, I don't remember school. I would not, I, you know, so you learn stuff in school.


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[Assistant] Yeah. They got in trouble for making that coffee too hot. They were doing it over and over again and had a lot of complaints about it. And they kept doing it.


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[Assistant] And in the top two, I mean the Seinfeld episode is exactly it. Seinfeld is not that hot. And the woman was very elderly and a burner and almost killed her.


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[Assistant] It was that severe of burns. I always found that very interesting that, yeah, that's one of those cases that you end up going like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Cause it is, it sounds like a crazy one. And then you're like, no, I remember growing up.


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[Assistant] If you're listening and you can leave, just how many people still don't know that it was very serious and that it was actually the woman who was wrong?


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[Assistant] You know, it'd be like that Duke lacrosse, like that's always brought up is the, the Duke lacrosse case is always something that's, you always think, oh, that was the Duke kids that, you know, did all this stuff and they were wrong. And then it turns out they weren't.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Follow up. Yeah. And I don't remember that that lady.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So this was a 79 year old- So this is why iced coffee got made. Cause of this lawsuit. You know that?


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[Assistant] I thought, uh, I was like, I was like, ah, I wish Nick was here. Cause that's actually kind of probably timing wise works out to be like, and that's why they started making ice coffee. That's how that made enough sense for me. I bet if he watches, he'll still.


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[Assistant] Fall for it. The coffee, he's not watching, dude. Uh, the idea that you think he's watching. I promise you he's not watching. But the idea that it would work out that that's how the coffee people respond to it. They go, yeah? Well, do you want it cold then? Cause that's what we're doing. And then they just send them cold coffee.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. It makes sense. It makes sense. Could be the reason.


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[Assistant] Yeah, maybe right. Uh, what's a, what's, what's speed limit law?


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[Assistant] Hey, did Aaron do this? He's six years old. I haven't seen him in years.


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[Assistant] Uh, the thrill of st- I feel like you would be the one that's still something out of this podcast.


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[Assistant] Not today. We, uh, I don't think I've stole anything.


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[Assistant] Either. I've, I've, I've driven back. Like if I ever took something that I paid for, that I didn't pay for, just how it, some reason it got in your bag and maybe it didn't, it wasn't swiped or something. And I've gone, I've driven all the way back and I go back in and I'll pay for it. I'll say, I didn't pay for this.


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[Assistant] Uh, that's how much I didn't want to steal. And that's, that's almost, they look at you going, just take it home, man. You're, this is more of a nightmare. You're more of a problem. And I'm waiting in line going, I forgot, I didn't pay for this. I'd like to pay. And they're like, you were home?


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[Assistant] I mean, this is Kroger. It's a full gross, like just, if you're doing this, I'd imagine you're never stealing. So you, one just happened to life worked out and you got through. I turned in, uh, when I worked at Opryland theme park, I found $20 on the ground and turned it into lost and found.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's the one I always think about, should have kept that $20. Because it turns out, no one can really identify that. But in my head, I think someone's going to show up and go, I lost $20, and then they're going to go, well we have $20.


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[Assistant] But I bet that was the same part where people told me their name was John and Jane Doe. So there was a lot of, lot of stuff going on. There's no way.


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[Assistant] I mean I- Whoever you turned it into kept that. I mean, I would love to talk to that guy.


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[Assistant] That, cause that guy would be like, no, I'm a good person. That guy's probably a good person. And he's like, but you're stupid.


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[Assistant] And you handed me $20 thinking I'm gonna make an announcement.


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[Assistant] Hey everybody, uh, you may lose 20, uh, $20 bill, untraceable, no way to identify it.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm saying I would keep it, but I would probably, I've seen money on the ground. I mean, if there's no one around, you're gonna grab it.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, but I would may, you may be leaving the ground. I always just think, you hope someone else finds it that needs it. And then, you know, that's all I hope. So I try to, I walk around and go, do you need $20? Hi, I'm comedian Nate Barghetti and you look poor and stupid. Do you need?


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[Assistant] I found this money that you use to buy food for your tummy. Do you need it? That's what I go do.


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[Assistant] People find it insulting. You tell them to vote after that. I tell them, I go, hi, I'm comedian Ney Bargetse. Uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I've, I've been speeding. I got caught near my house. They get, they, they sit. It's a perfect, uh, it's Holly under me. No, is she in the room?


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[Assistant] Sorry, uh, Holly just sits behind you sometimes and we got these. I've rolled back on her.


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[Assistant] I, uh, killed a dog once, actually. Uh, well, that's against the law. Uh, I, yeah, there's a, there's a hill down here.


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[Assistant] You come down and there's, I think the cop could sit there and get everybody.


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[Assistant] Cause it's almost, I look at it every time now. He pulled me over.


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[Assistant] And I got a ticket and I look at it every time. I wish they would, if you get a speeding ticket, they should just, you should be able to pay it right there. Wouldn't that help just to go to a hundred dollars and you're like, okay.


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[Assistant] Yeah, why not just go, how's there not more- Or an app.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just to go like, let me just pay real fast. It's like almost like that's what your-


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[Assistant] You're, it's almost like if you get caught, you're not as mad. Right. If you go, if I can just get this over with. I can just Venmo the city real quick, you know? Yea, Venmo the city. Hunter, you know how much money they would get?


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[Assistant] They should do that. It's probably bad though. Yeaah. People would probably be against that.


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[Assistant] Why? Because then they would take advantage of it. People would speak a lot more. I wonder, has there ever been cops caught where you just go...


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[Assistant] Uh, just give me a hundred bucks. Like I always did, like if you said, here's a hundred bucks. I'm sure that goes. I mean dude, he can make five hundred bucks a day.


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[Assistant] I, uh, I've been in traffic court. I remember going when I was like 17 or something like that. We used to have where, uh,


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[Assistant] A house that we lived in, a cop would sit at the top of this four-way stop and he'd be all the way up the hill in our neighborhood. So I, I grew up in Old Hickory, which is Lakewood and they, they had their own police department. It was Davidson County, but we had our own police department outside of Davidson County. So Lakewood was just a tiny area and with their own police department and it was,


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[Assistant] Ticket City. Everybody knew, right when you were on Orchard Boulevard, right when you passed through the golf course, Herman's Golf Course, right when you hit that Herman's Golf Course until you got to Madison or the bridge, it was like just obey the laws because it was only police.


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[Assistant] So now they stopped it, but it was, it was, it was such a small area that had all these cops that had their own police department.


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[Assistant] Because they're like, they're not covering a whole city, they're covering just this tiny part. And they would always get tickets. I remember my brother got a ticket.


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[Assistant] One time. And I pulled up to make sure, cause he was, he was just 16 or 17.


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[Assistant] And so I'd have been like 19 and I pulled up the cop and I remember the cop was like, yelled at me. I had to go on because you can't just pull up on a cop and then be like, that's my brother. Uh, he's, you know, he's just probably nervous about it. And the cops like, yeah, I'm pretty nervous too about what's going on. And you're like, that makes sense. Uh, and then I drove off and you got a ticket. Uh,


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[Assistant] But yeaah, I remember, yeaah, I've broken those kind of, yeaah, laws. Like, I'm trying to, I'm... What's the fastest you ever remember going? I remember, I've driven over a hundred. Uh...


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[Assistant] I mean, it doesn't, it's not like this jerk back and you...


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[Assistant] I mean, I've definitely been driving and you're like, I'm going 90.


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[Assistant] Every other lane you can be in. Left lane should always be empty. It's just there to pass, then you get back over.


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[Assistant] I wouldn't want to go around at 100. Uh, I would definitely go faster than, I'd probably at least be in between 80 and 90 on the interstate. And all that stuff changes. The older you get, it is the slower you kind of go. You just end up going, I don't, some of it could be just to straight up, I don't feel like,


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[Assistant] Turning like all these curves and you're, you're, it's just not fun. There's a, we just rented a car in LA that when you, uh, when you turn, uh, I got to drive a Mercedes there. And so when you turn the wheel, the seat holds you.


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[Assistant] Hold your body. So wherever you would be turning, so if you turn right,


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[Assistant] You turn left and you would have to bend that way or kind of pushes your body that way. In LA, there's a lot of curvy streets and you would do it and it just holds you. So you never move.


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[Assistant] It's something that, you know, you don't really think, but you ever sometimes you can when you drive feel, you feel like tired, you're like, I don't feel like going down this curvy road. It's just like, you feel like it's like, ah, you know, you just, you're, I don't know if your brain's tired, you're tired and you don't want to turn the wheel of your car. Seems real lazy, but I think everybody feels that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah. They, uh, yeah, you don't ever feel tired. Like I feel tired from driving. Sometimes you just, it seems like a lot.


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[Assistant] Like you could go out of my house to go to, if I want to go to the golf course, there's two ways. I can go one way that's more traffic, but just kind of straight. And the other way is curve, a little curvy. And sometimes I'm like, I just don't, it seems like it's just a lot to go the curviness.


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[Assistant] Maybe I'm the only one, you know? Nah, I get it. No, I get it. I get it. You break the law every time you, uh. Did you say you get it? Yeah. To your own tape? Uh.


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[Assistant] Well, there you go. There you go. You're listening. So you think it's like a radio?


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[Assistant] I'd be better if you did. At least you'd be looking in the same direction of the day you're driving. You're like, I do the right thing. I put it on the floorboard. You know, the new iOS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean a ton of hours, you know. Wow. Yea, just 20 hours straight.


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[Assistant] And then you look a little longer than you expected.


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[Assistant] I would never understand when they're real quick. Some of them go, you ever see some speed limits and they're, they'll be like 30, now 45 and then back to 30. And it's, you could never even get up to.


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[Assistant] But why would you not, but some of it is not, you can see the signs. It's, you know, it's 30 and 45 and it's back to 30. And it's, you can almost see all three. Like it's just, why would you ever even put the 45 in the middle?


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[Assistant] Yeah. What's the system? What's the fastest? Oh, what's the one that, that plays where there's no speed limit? And where is it?


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[Assistant] Everybody's moving. I mean, I guess if you don't want to go fashion, you can go in the far lane, right? I guess. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I feel like that's the Indy or something like that, where they, it's just that circle and it's just people.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just man, it's a roundabout. That's just, I mean, how does it, not everybody dead. And then people just sit and they're like,


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[Assistant] Now, like I mean, that's where people should learn how to drive though, cause that's where you go. I mean people go, you gotta go. It's almost like, see NASCAR, they drive up on their bumpers cause they know the guy's not gonna stop to let, you know, a dove fly by. That's what would fly by, I don't know, I couldn't think of anything.


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[Assistant] What's seatbelt laws? I never understand that, like, if you don't want to wear your seatbelt, I think you should, then don't wear it. You know?


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[Assistant] I don't, what's the logic behind making people wear a seatbelt?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but if you don't, but if they don't wear a seatbelt and get hurt, you're still paying for their medical bills, right? It's not like it's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be like, well, we put a law and they didn't follow the law, so we don't have to pay for that guy's bills. So you feel the same way about speed limit? Shouldn't be a speed limit?


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[Assistant] I can see a speed limit. That's just too much inconsistency because there's too many cars going.


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[Assistant] In and out, so you can't be like, some guy wants to go 150 and then an old lady wants to go 20. Well that can't.


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[Assistant] Be together on the same road, that's gonna be a problem. So you gotta at least have somewhere to meet in the middle.


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[Assistant] But like making you wear your seatbelt is, I don't know how that's, if I don't want to wear it then, I mean I wear a seatbelt. I like a seatbelt. I've always been a seatbelt person. I think most people are. But if some guy is like, I don't want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've heard that. There's, there's gonna be stories both ways. Right. And, uh.


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[Assistant] I don't know if we were talking about this. I, uh, I do remember a time where if you put your seatbelt on and your friend was driving, it was offensive to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I, I mean, I remember you got in my buddy's car and you put your seatbelt on and he's like, come on dude, like are you being serious right now? You think I'm that bad of a driver? And I mean, you would go, alright, I'm sorry, and you would undo it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you were embarrassed. You were embarrassed to have it on. Cause it was insulting to him.


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[Assistant] That you would put a seatbelt on. And I would never, if I got in a, I don't know if I would ever be getting in cabs. I mean, New York, you don't, I mean, now you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you put a seatbelt on, but I mean, I remember really that's, that's one, that's my first, I don't remember necessarily the seatbelt law, I guess, but I just remember getting into people's cars and they would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you said, I'm gonna put my seatbelt on. And I used to, I used to think, how could I, what can I say to get a seatbelt on without being, without the person getting upset about it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I would try to think of ways that I could cool, say, well let me just put it on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just trying to find a way so the guy doesn't make fun of me. He's like, alright, that makes sense. You know, if you're like, I just, why not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I was like, oh dude, I love seat belts. Yeah. Seat belts are fun. You looks comfortable. Or I would try to make it click where he couldn't hear it. Yeah. Cause I didn't want them, especially when the back, I could just put it on and like, how can I do it? Like, can I hold the button down and put it in and slowly let it up? And then he doesn't hear it. So the guy doesn't get mad. They used to get mad. You remember them getting mad? People get mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a direct reaction to their driving skills. Was, was by going, I'm going to put my seatbelt on. Wasn't just the chaos. That was, that was the way that you would do it. You'd say, what's the other people I'm worried about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're a great driver. That was a good one that you could do. And he goes, but I can avoid it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being out past midnight, my parents used to say that. Nothing good happens at midnight. And when you get older, you realize nothing good happens past midnight. It truly doesn't. Nothing, it's all trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well 3, yeaah, I guess 3am would be, yeaah, midnight is not, that's true. A lot of stuff happens at midnight, nevermind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're having some of the buses. We talked about the tour bus, we're trying to get a newer tour bus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if we get in your butt, they're gonna have to have seatbelts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the bu- new tour buses are gonna have to have se- they have beds in them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not about coming to bed, but in the, in the chairs, the couch and the stuff that they're going to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like everybody. I mean, it's going to be just a straight up. I assume he already buckles. Does he not buckle? He probably does, but I would bet that they're going to have to figure a way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One kid goes flying, one's safe. Let them all fly. Yeah, that's probably good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I think even before COVID, I don't think they're just jamming. It's like, again, you're thinking about the subway in Japan. Uh, you saw that video and you think that's how we take kids to schools, but they're just pushing the back into people. That's what you think kids. I don't know what's going on, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over in Shelby County, we got a bus problem. Not too many buses and too many kids. Memphis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who knows the county? Daylight Savings was just happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can this go either way? Is that good? That's enough. I mean is there something else that's crazy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd rather just talk about it like that. You know, like so Germany started it. Wish I could get this hour back to be honest. Uh, there, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not for farmers. I know Indianapolis does our, uh, I don't know if Indiana, the whole state does it, or Indianapolis does it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's ridiculous that we do it. I don't, I don't. Do you know what daily life savings time is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just the hour going forward. I thought it was for farmers or something. So I thought they was for farmers. You don't like Daylight Savings? I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, so shouldn't we just stay on Eastern time? Kinda? Where we would kinda be, where we lose an hour. We should always just stay spring forward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And stay there. That's right. Yeah. Some people think that. Yes. So that's not daylight savings times. So this one, this one- We just left daylight savings. Yes. We just left daylight savings. Cause we were saving the daylight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? And then to now we're not saving daylight. Yeah. And I still don't know why. I know you explained it, but you lost me in the World War I in Germany. I kind of belled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had different feel things back then, so they had to... Why didn't they do the speed limit of the autobahn then? Right? Is it auto, autobahn? Yeah, autobahn, yeah. Sounds like a transformer. But it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why didn't they do the speed limit? They go, no, we're not doing speed limit. Just make an hour, lose an hour or whatever. And then they go, that doesn't make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. He's a little scientist, got a little too, riches for his Brian. You know what I don't feel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pacific. I would be the guy that always gives Pacific time. Just to throw everybody off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? You'd probably just say 9 Eastern. You just have to always say Eastern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just gotta pick, we're doing Eastern. That's what we're doing. When you talk to me, we do Eastern. I get it with, uh, when I have to plan stuff, cause I have to plan New York and LA stuff. And so I have to, mainly all LA stuff, I usually get their times. So they're, they're say, I might watch it, I have LA time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just so I can always kind of quickly look at it. So when they, my managers and they're like, we got a meeting or you got this at 2 PM Pacific, you know, I try to just kind of keep it Pacific. It's easier. They understand it. And then it's like Pacific. Let's do Pacific time. You got to just pick a time. That's what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So why do they do daylight savings time? I still don't know. Uh, alright, this is a driver license requirement, is that just as boring?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the idea of getting to see if it's going to be fun or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's make everything 18. I think make everything 18. If you can go fight. I always like that. If you can go fight for your country and die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a war, why can't you have a beer at 18?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, maybe you say only military people can drink at 18. Maybe that's the case. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Drive up some people joining the army. His numbers will go up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's fun. I bet they just go, you get it, right? You know, the guy wants to sell a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounded like my grandfather was telling me something dumb. We're like, alright man. Like that's honestly, this is a story that just felt...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, you're just like, Oh God, how long do we got it? You just waiting for your parents to go, all right, let's go. And you're like, thank God. Huh? It just felt like that story. I'm not saying it's not interesting. It just felt like a story that, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I wasn't listening. That was one sentence that you go, yeah, I got it. That's a pretty cool fact. That is a cool fact, man. Whoa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think that's, I do think it's a cool, I'm just saying the way it was said, the timing of when it was said, it felt very much like your grandfather and you go, honey, yeah, that's crazy. And we got to just keep going along and we go, we've heard this multiple times. I'm not saying I've even heard that, but the way it was delivered, it's, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I don't know, you know, it's the overweight law. Yeah. So they're saying if you're fat, it's against the law. Is that it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, can I keep going? Oh yeah. I don't know. Is it, what would, just describe it. I think, just describe it real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like your fact, you just did, what did you just do? The driver, the sales driver was very fun. Yeaah. And then Aaron brought it down with his woe story. So like, let's do it that same way again. Companies could incur a pill. How much would Aaron have to pay to live in Japan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can he even visit Japan? Or does he have to, does it cost a little more? He goes, I can't afford it. And I'm like, well, it's not that much. You go, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's, so they're trying to tell them that's why they do those workout videos. And that's also why they jump out of buildings. It's a mix of both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, they do do that. And this is part of why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, what's he gonna go to? Another job that goes, ehm, what do you need to talk about your weight as he sits in? Here's my resume. I'm the smartest person ever. This is all good and great, but you're a bit, uh, you know what I mean? Little, two, you know what I'm saying? I don't know. He's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they're the biggest man on the sea, but as George says, they don't have to be. What's that? That's how, I mean, can you imagine just them, they're weighing you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if, if you would just find your biggest guy and go, like for me, I'm not saying I'm skinny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because if I get with someone that's super skinny, then now I'm starting to get looked at. So yeah, I got a place you got to put your, you should go behind a sumo guy. Where they go, they go. I mean, this guy is exhausted from, he's go to sumo guys go in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, ah, and there's a third and you get right in the middle. So when they get to you, he's like, no, go ahead. You're fine. And then, so you don't even get measured because the guy's too tired from measuring the tapes of the sumo guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How often do they measure their? Everyone. Every day. Do you know what your waistline is? 30, 34.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 33, could be 32, we've had some 32 pants. Yea. I'd say 34. Let me look it up here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's against the law, I mean you can't. Can't anyone have one kid, two somewhere?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah. Well, for a brief stint then, uh, well, the women one, I think it's great, but the, no, they go, let me just say that. You're like, I'll be honest with you. I get it. Yeah. And no, uh, yeah. Why are the men smaller than the women? Maybe Aaron's right. Because they get to 35 for a woman. I mean, women are just crushing it over there. They can do whatever they want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's crazy. So 30, uh, 33.5 is phew. It's against the law. They get fined, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's crazy because we can't, we know you're, dude, you bring a lot to the table, but we can't afford to hire you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After 40? 40 to 74? That doesn't even make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're saying, that's when your metabolism was slow. That's when it's probably the hardest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that if you, but if you stay in that window. Right. Except women, they get to be these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She'll be your fatso's over there and those men have to get it together. I mean, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's, where else is there one, uh, child? Isn't that somewhere in China?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I feel like you talked to someone over there and you're like, uh, speed limit laws are crazy. They go, yeah, I don't even know, man. We have a lot of stuff going on. Like there's just no one you can't bring up. They're listening to this podcast. Isn't daylight savings time nuts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why we have to deal with that? And he's like, yeah, I for 34 years, I had my waist measured. I'm not allowed to read a book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then he goes, he's like, 34 years out of my waist phase, I had to lose all this weight. He's like, well, at least I bet your women look good. He goes, yeah, you would think so, wouldn't you? But no, they're allowed to get as big as they want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess you would almost say they should just say, look friendly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Just be friendly. Just be nice. Just be nice. Yeaah. Just be nice and friendly. Uh. That's so funny. Uh, what's uh, I went to Singapore, they have some laws. Yeaah. They're super clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that fact or you just? Yeah. Oh, is it? Uh huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No swearing in public in the Caribbean. That was an old law. I used to do a joke about laws. Something about a bucket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was there a lot of people drinking out of a bucket? I would do something like that. It was, eh, I forget. There's always your, everybody's first joke is like you pick it cause all these laws are very easy to make fun of. Cause they're ridiculous. And so you just explain the law.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't drink a bucket out of a George. There's a lot of people drinking buckets out of Georgia. That's the gist of it. I'll probably bring it back. Sounds good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The show? This show should be number one podcast in the Caribbean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should be, it's not. Yeah, we've actually had trouble breaking in there, but if anybody knows anybody in the Caribbean, uh, then there you go. All right, let's do a couple more and then we'll be done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, every patent, I mean, so the law, the, the, I wonder if it's like some of the, the, uh, attorneys are like, love it, but I guess everybody brings in their own attorneys, no one's from there, they're just using.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they could do, I wonder, I wonder if that town just gets all the cool stuff. They do. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, probably some nice, they probably have some nice hotels. Yeah. Get new phones or, you know, like, you want, yeah, I mean, it's brands that want to be treated nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And it's just all day long, the patterns are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if you shared a password with your wife? No, they don't live under the same roof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're divorced, then it's against the law. And how would they ever catch anybody doing that? Ah, they don't. Didn't Netflix even say they were like, we don't care? Somebody, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe it was HBO's president. Yeah, there's no way. It has to affect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get, I was still on, uh, my buddy Dan Shackey's, uh, Google. I get YouTube, no ads, and uh, Google play music. And I get it. And uh, I get YouTube TV all from Shackey. Cause he signed up a long time ago. It was like five friends. So I'm still on his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, yep, yep. But you do eventually just, you're like, I just want my own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I own my own Apple ID. That's my wife. We always have one. I think we pay, I'd love for that. It all gets interlocked together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I don't wanna do it, I mean ours is just different cause you gotta have your own. But I could see...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if I, if I had a private one and I was like, just put me and Laura on it so we can see what's going on. And like, she could just check and cause you know, a lot of it, you just want to see what's up with your friends and kind of keep an eye on people you grew up with. Uh, so I could see that, but yeah, I guess it seems weird. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Usually it's one person dominating that. That's true. That's that kind of thing. It's not like the other person. It's, I would imagine a lot of times it's the wife and the husband doesn't even know that the account's there. And then that's, and so, and she just goes, this is me and let me tell you all my political. What's the purpose?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's exactly what I said it was. It's a woman that, it's a wife that once has it and says here's me and my husband's Facebook, but they're not equally using it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea is generally let's just do one together. Yeah. And I don't think they ever do. One way, one person's gonna dominate it and the other one's not gonna ever check it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like just to stay in touch with people. That's the logic behind it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She has all the money. I don't, she knows all the, where all the money is and all that stuff. I don't know any of that stuff. So you're not going to do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just too emotional when you're dating. You're dating. So it's like still a competition in a way. Like I feel it's too emotional and too, uh, you know, they want


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's like, it's like giving someone the keys to your apartment or something. It's too...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stakes are too high. Yeah. Cause you're dating, you can still not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could break up and it could be over. So I feel like they want control over. They're, they're trying to, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show me some kind of like that this is gonna go farther. You're not hiding anything or whatever. And then yours is the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's claustrophobia feeling of going like, I gotta give me something that's my own. Right. Like I'm not, you know, and then you get married and that gets beaten out of you, you know, and then you don't know what's going on in your.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, uh, you walk around and you don't know where anything's at and you just, and they control everything. She's like the government. I rely on her. You just walk around and where's this? Where's that? And they got,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I can see the beginning, right now you don't. Yea, cause you're still like, we're not married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They keep, yeah, keep your stuff separate. You should, you know, I know guys that with the bank accounts, they don't, they get married. They, people have, there's an article about someone that had two separate bank accounts being like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause most fights in marriage are, are going to be up money. So it's, we both split our bills, we pay the bills. And then that way, if I want to buy stuff, she can't say, why are you buying that? And he can't, you know, same way for him. She, no one's bothering them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's, they, they do that. They do that. You just have two different bank accounts. And then, so yeah, do that. I don't know. I had, my parents used to put money, I had a bank card, a separate bank card, even when I got married and they would always put like a couple hundred bucks in there. Cause that'd be on the road and I want, if I wanted to go do something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we didn't, we had no money, and I'm not making any money on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Laura was working and so I would always just still get money from them. And I was married 26, 27 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You haven't taken any since comedy? Like they haven't given you 20 bucks, 100 bucks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright. Alright, that's it, right? Yup. We're good. Uh, alright. Thank you guys so much, uh, for listening. Uh, we appreciate it. We hope you have a good, uh, week, and we will see you back here. Uh, yeaah, we recorded this on Monday, so it comes out Wednesday. Usually we were doing Tuesdays, so that's why, if, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if the voting, if you are wondering, it's like, it is the day before. Cause we usually do it Tuesdays, so. Uh, but we will be back next week. As always, thank you so much for listening and, uh, see you next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it was about you or Aaron? Oh, I thought white bread was the one that called you out on your ridiculous mask skills. Yeah. White bread gets it. Sorry, Coco.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost any town in Tennessee, I could tell you what county it's in. Memphis?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's, uh, let's see, Johnson City is up in Washington County, Bristol, maybe Hamlin County?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was a drill instructor. He was?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people said that. You ridiculed us, but people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think most people probably still think if they know that story, they think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I just want to talk about like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I was thinking what laws have I broken in my life? And besides a few traffic laws like speeding, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of people want to go to traffic court to keep it off the record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea. Although a lot of people do if the slow person is in the left lane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, in 1901, Connecticut was the first state in the United States to impose a numerical speed limit for motor vehicles sitting the maximum legal speed at 12 miles per hour in cities and 15 on rural roads. Speed limits then started


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20. Not very fast, but they got fast pretty quickly. By 1930, they could go pretty fast. Yeah. That's when, I mean, they started racing moonshot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nevada and Montana had no speed limit until Congress clamped down with a national speed limit in 1974 of 55 miles per hour because of the gasoline shortage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, so 1973, you could go Montana and it was, uh, do whatever you want. Even better, they, uh, they found a way around it. So they just said, uh, they made the penalty $5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some drivers just kept a wad of $5 bills in their glove compartment so if they were pulled over they would be ready to pay the fine on the spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Nevada, that was in Montana, in Nevada the penalty was $15.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, uh, uh, the highest posted speed limit in the country is 85 miles per hour. Where's that? It is in State Highway 130 in Texas. Ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like some areas are more curvy or more populated, so they have to learn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Germany? Yeaah. Yeaah. So I was reading where you get in some serious trouble there if you run out of gas. Like, Aaron's got a joke about that, but like here you call AAA or whatever, there you get like heavy find.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and they just think it's ridiculous, so they're not as nice about it. Like it's cra- it's, you're stupid. Yeah. I mean, you are stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it seemed like the speed limit loss kind of went into effect because of fuel shortage more than even danger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like to conserve energy. I guess there's a certain speed you get and it's burning too much oil, too much fuel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the first national speed limit was 55 miles an hour and that was because of the gasoline shortage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know this, but I think it's just, you feel the same way like helmets and stuff on motorcycles and things like that. And I think it's just because it, uh, taxpayers have to pay, if this person gets injured or hurt, we have to pay for medical bills or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I grew up, I mean, I can, I can remember when seatbelt law came into effect. I mean, it's like, I mean, it was in the eighties. You should be able to remember it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People did not like it. And there was always stories about like, well, I knew a guy who was killed in a wreck because he was wearing a seatbelt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, skip to hit three hours. Yeah. Did you, do you find it weird that school buses don't have seat belts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason, partially is what you said, they feel like the buses are so safe. Usually when you hear about a school bus wreck, it's the other car that's getting the brunt of it. Some people say, or some argument was the kids would use the seatbelts as weapons on each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some said if one's wearing one and another is not and there's a wreck, it'll injure. Differently? Differently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, uh, I found that interesting. Uhm, do you guys know the history of ALS Hamings?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've tried it in the US. What's like the quickest way. The idea was unpopular, especially with farmers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the farmers didn't like it. Correct. We always think it's for farmers. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had less time in the morning to get their milk and harvesting crops to the market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From 1970 until 2006, most of Indiana was in the eastern time zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And did not observe daylight savings time, but the entire state started to do so in April 2006 after eight counties in western Indiana were shifted from the central time zone to the eastern time zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not daylight savings. That's not? No. What is that? That's standard time. Daylight savings is when you get darker later in the evening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a pretty good summary. That's essentially why. Yeah, it was to conserve fuel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably now. That's been a lot. I mean, I have a joke about that. It made sense a hundred years ago because people, 16, you were adult.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Back then you were going to war. But now, it just, it's crazy to me that 16th of May-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why does it not? Well, I don't know. I mean, I think some things, things are different. I mean. So what do you want it to be?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a driver's license? I would say at least 18. You should at least be an adult before you can drive a movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 1903, Massachusetts and Missouri became the first states to require a driver's license, although it wasn't necessary to pass a test to obtain one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then, can't find it right now, but it basically said that in the past to learn to drive a car, you just learn from the salesperson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you'd go in, buy it, and then they'd show you how to drive it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In January 2008, Japan passed the Metabolol, named after the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Metabolic syndrome, to reach its goals of shrinking the overweight population, the government imposed financial penalties on companies and local governments that failed to meet specific targets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a new law, for example, a company that makes a product had a mission.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, companies could have some penalties to pay, yes, if their people did not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how to say it, but you're... companies measure waistlines of all of its employees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's no longer. Okay. But it was for a long time. You can only have one kit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, what's the Milan's smile law? In Milan, Italy, you have to smile. It's against the law if you don't smile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless you're attending a funeral or a hospital worker or at the bedside of an ill family member.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They think it brings tourism and joy. So you just have to walk around and smile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's another one of these laws that's never enforced, but it is on the books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they have, of course, litter laws. You can't chew gum there. There's a lot of chew gum, so that gum you can't chew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. No, cause they're too afraid. They don't want you to throw it down on the ground. Yeah. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have very serious litter laws in Singapore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, 50 Cent was arrested on, at a concert for swearing on stage during a concert in St. Kitts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, the small Texas town, this is one Aryan had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll share a couple more unusual state ones. In Tennessee it's illegal to share your Netflix password. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Past in 2011, this law was directed at hackers who still log in credentials in bulk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't like we sat down day one and here's all my passwords. It's just over time, there'll be a reason like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need her to log into something for me. And then, you know, and so I give it to her. She may not know all of them, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the biggest arena the G-League has ever had. It's like, uh, 15,000 seats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, absolutely. It was crazy. Cause it would be like at first, you know, cause when we started, you know, two weeks ago, it was still hot out. So most people were just out of their cars and it was like a tailgate. Now it's like everyone's starting to just be in the cars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was that time where it'd be like, honk, honk, light, light, and you're like, woah, woah. But it was like a fun rhythm where it felt like it was laughs from me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Justin Smith, I slap him on the last day. Oh, we made a nice video. That's funny. I slap him and then we're like, alright, bye now. He's uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Harper just comes in with like a math table. Boom! Boom! Boom! 34!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the word precious though. It's a lovable, it's like precious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also can't pronounce the word dwarf correctly, so I'm not the right dwarf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have been on, I have been on several TV shows where I had to go into ADR booth, paid after the episode because they're like, you cannot pronounce dwarf correctly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Oh, cause this is W. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody thinks, oh possum, oh possum. So it's not possum. Everyone, she's like, she was literally ready to punch somebody in the face. She's like, it is not possum, it is oh possum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Opossum. Actually, I think she said in Australia, there's possums.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's something, but the crazy thing is they can do some stuff with their tail, but they can't hang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We also saw, they had this amazing animal that I can't remember what it, some kind of bird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it throws, like, it takes its food and it throws it against a rock. Like a lizard. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they lit, they said that they lit, sometimes they would paint the rock like Michigan. So it'd be like an Ohio state, like, ah, just throw the rock in Michigan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just kept like, like one more time. It was just, they were like, usually this is just a one time thing. And we're like, one more, one more. He just kept going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a hard consonant, huh? I think also your accent, dentist sounds like dentist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like that, like a bottle of wine, you know, in a case they say one's bad, in a lactate pill box, you know, one of those could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeez, that would be- Yeah, that's a lot. What if he just died on the table? He's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like there's not enough, like, random questions pointed at people during, like, a hot dog eating contest where you're like, just tell us about your life, you know? Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron's just blindfolded, like eating like 86, like Nate's like, we're, we're still eating, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I want a doughnut, I want a regular doughnut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, uh, you know, I wanna eat Chinese food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna have a couple. I wanna be like, I'm in the competition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might just hang out after. How do you feel? It's everything, you know? Yeah. It feels great on camera and then, then you're done and you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We only got about 8 hours till the next, like, stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, but where's the o- you know, cause literally we're Cape Cod, so there is- Oh shit, everywhere?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there was like little, you know, just inlets where it's like just a little bit like a canal. And I want to see like the crazy ocean. Yeah. But it's funny cause she's, she's literally working the gift shop and everyone's like, how much? And I was like, excuse me, where's the ocean? I just came in like a psycho.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just like kind of trails off and pirate like, arrrrr.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that every pirate ship had a doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, I kind of have a headache, like, ahh, it's got the foot off, you know, like, just like, no matter what, like a crazy Monty Python, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like for that kind of like Ted talk conference, you know, like that's gotta be really hard talk to follow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or if you're like talking about like, you know, your life as whatever, a dentist and you gotta follow that where she's like, I literally took over an empire in Compton and like, here's this story. Here's that story. Uh, you know, people are getting shot. I had cocaine in my shoe. You know, you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's so crazy though to think about, you're in the open ocean, and you have to get off your ship, like walk from one ship to another, jump in the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just called it drink. Like a, like a. Just drink, yea. Drink. Grog. Never heard of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm now just catching on that you're seeing what he's typing in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'll tell you what, there's nothing more fun than just talking about this thing. I just like getting into that. Like it's just so silly. Yeah. What was that? It was called a pirate camp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were like teaching these kids like how to be pirates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't even know. I was like, uh, I think we had like a skull cap and you know, it's fun that you dress up like a lady like for the day and like pirate gear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Wow. But I know nothing. All I was good at was just like, just complaining in pirate talk. We're just pirates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like Monty Python have like stolen a lot of these kind of like bits, you know, it's like, I'm not dead yet, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, it's like Calico Jack's is also a restaurant too, right? I don't know. John Silver's. Calico Jack. I feel like I've heard like a lot of these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Had you heard of this before? Yeah, there's like all kinds of crazy legends where like, you know, as a kid, you're like, if you just go to this little area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the Long Island Sound is like, it's not huge. It's Long Island to Connecticut, where I grew up is like, it's a small little area and there's all these little mini islands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still, they're, they're taking boats out and trying to find it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At your museum you went to? We went in the museum too and there's like a, you know, paper mache kind of like ship. And at first I thought that was the actual ship. When we went in, I was like, wow, this is a nice looking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the guy that found it got all that money. They sort of didn't talk about that. They were like, this guy found it, but they weren't like, he's the richest guy in Cape Cod history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a parrot at the Columbus Zoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could say, you know, a couple things, like hello and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Kramer, his name was Kramer, so you could say Kramer. So we kept like asking, what's your favorite Seinfeld character? And he'd be like, hello. He wouldn't say it when you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if also, like, that's not true? They just make that up, like, no, no, no, I'm really good in the dark. I've been doing this with the patch. Let me go down there and just, can't see anything, you're just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just, everybody has one guy that's like, look, this is the multi-patch guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like there's been present day flogging that still happens.