[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We go to the connoisseur, he was the guy, Joe, Joe Rogan was a fan of that podcast. I mean podcast of that band.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we went to the, the band did a show that night. We went to a Joe Rogan, introduced him. I ended up talking to Joe Rogan a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a year into comedy, so I don't even really know what to talk about. Joe Rogan was super nice. Talked to me about comedy. All, you know, just would tell me, yeaah, I don't know, just a great dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Watched him. It was great. And then we got done. And then I went to, uh, we're in the back talking. And I was like, I was trying to do, he was like, are you going to go up here? And I was like, well, I was going to try to, but I had the open mic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You open mic there at the time, I don't know if you do it now, but at the time you had to, you had to go, you had to sign up the Monday before you waited in line on Monday to sign up for the next week. So I wasn't going to be in town the next week. And then he called and said, Rogan just said, Hey, let this kid go up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I gotta go up, I gotta go up on stage. I mean, honestly, maybe the first comedy club I performed at. Wow. Truthfully.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that I think of it, I've never said that. I thought it was Zany Chicago, but it probably was The Comedy Store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I, I wouldn't have been back here. I wouldn't have done Zany's. I would have just been doing bars in Chicago. It's either Zany's Chicago or that was the first club we can, no, it was, it was the Comedy Store. Wow. It was probably the first comedy club I ever went up. I never thought about that. I didn't even, I definitely didn't say that in the interview because I did not think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and so they introduced me. Here's an open mic, no one's in there at the time. And I remember they introduced me and they said, here's, uh, this next guy is like Joe Rogan's best friend. And I mean, I feel like everybody hated me because I got to get up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I got to skip over the process and then I was introduced to Joe Rogan's best friend, which I don't think Joe Rogan knows who I am now, like at all. So it's, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, it's just, it was funny to like get that, but that's, uh, yeah. So that's my comedy store story. I still go back there. I go to the comedy store. I did get, I'm in there now and, uh, it's, uh, it's a very amazing place. It's, it's, you know, there's a lot of clubs. I go to Laugh Factory out there in LA, Hollywood Improv. Laugh Factory is great too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they're all great, but the comic store with it, a lot, I mean, yeah, the stories, there's a bullet hole behind the sign where Sam Kinison shot a gun one night and the bullet hole is still there. I mean, the old story of, they're in the seventies, there's great books on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where they had a com- big comedy strike in the 70s and 80s and they didn't get paid. So one of the comedians, uh, that wasn't getting spots and wasn't getting paid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and that like just, it got real, obviously very dark over comedy. You know, this guy killed himself. It was like during a show, like they just did it and jumped and you know, uh, but they, I mean, at the time, right now,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now with COVID, I think they're still doing stuff outside, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now, the connoisseur is thriving. I mean, it was, it was, dude, they were, it's rolling. And when you go in there and the crowds, it's packed, it's, and it's just, I mean, the lineups are pretty, pretty nuts. I mean, pretty famous lineups of people that you see, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a, yeaah, it's an amazing place and it's, it's done, it's played more in my career later than it did. I mean at the beginning it was either, at the very beginning then it was nothing because I was in New York. All my stories are New York stories. And then it, it played it later in my life. Uh, so, but yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, great comedy store, documentary and showtime, so everybody check that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Helix, I sleep on a terrible mattress on the road and in the bus and I can't wait to get home to my Helix mattress. Nick was just with us. He actually slept on a Helix mattress and he loved it. He said he missed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he's gone now. He missed, he missed the mattress. Helix Sleep has a quiz that takes two minutes and matches your body type and sleep preference to the perfect mattress for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I took the Helix Quiz and I was matched with the Helix Dusk Luxe mattress because I wanted something that felt medium and I am a side sleeper. I sleep on my side. Does anybody, anybody do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked about that, I think. I do everything. I do. A mix of everything. Whatever it takes. Helix mattresses, whatever it takes. Roll it around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a big side, side sleeper. I like it. Uh, the delivery and setting up was fast and easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was fun. I loved it. Cause it was the, you open the mattress, like I've said, yeah, it just inflates out. I mean, uh, I'm going to order another one just to do that. Just have extra mattresses, but just to see it come out. If you don't do with the mattress and you should do with the mattress, but then also just do your clothes that do a bunch of stuff with that. That's amazing that they get a mattress in that box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're looking for a mattress, you take the quiz, you order the mattress that you've matched to, and the mattress comes right to your door, shipped for free. You don't ever need to go to a mattress store again, which is the new trend. You're never gonna, people are not going to stores, and you don't have to either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have a 10 year warranty and you get to try it out for, I mean, a hundred nights risk free. They're even pick it up for you. If you don't love it, you're going to love it. That's not going to happen, but a hundred nights. That's a, I mean, that is a go. You are having a go at trying this mattress up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go to helixsleep.com slash Nate. Take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a customized mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, here we go, uh, so we did a, we did a poll, uh, at, you know, last week to be what should


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, what should the fans of the podcast be called? We did it on Twitter and it was Nate Landers. Folks, Breakfast Club are the worriers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Warriors was 8%. This is at a 225 votes. I feel like that's a good representation of the listeners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, can we do an Instagram poll? We do much better followers on Instagram, right? We're doing an Instagram poll too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, you can do it on a story. We're doing another one on a story. Warriors is at 8%. Breakfast Club was at 6.2%. Nate Landers, 23%. Folks. Folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks. That is a good one. 62.2% is where they're at on that. So we're going to see what, what, what should fans of the podcast be called? Hello folks. Cause that is a good, it's a good start. That actually makes it pretty smart to start. Cause I'm talking to you guys. Hello folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you don't know what it means, if you don't know what folks really means, then I'm definitely not talking to you. That's what I'm saying. I mean specifically you, Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So alright, yeaah, that was fun. We'll put one on Instagram too, so you can see that. And, uh, if you, uh, I mean if you want to type in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so this weekend, uh, we're going to just, uh, try a new little different format. We do have a topic we're going to talk about, but we, we...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just kind of talk about what we did this weekend. I had a fun weekend. A lot of golf, a lot of gummy worms, as she said. And, uh, I did, we did golfing. So I did two, I did two scrambles. One was, uh, a lot of musicians, uh, Jake Owens, a musician.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he does a great charity event and then we golfed. A lot of musicians were there. I golfed, uh, Shay, my buddy Shay, Mooney, Dan and Shay. Go listen to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if it was that big of a thing? On carpet. If it was that giant of a... You're like, God, that is a huge difference. You throw the ball instead of hitting it. Not on a golf course. One of the main differences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a scrambles between, so it'd be four of us, so four of us get together, you tee off, you take the best drive, then you four hit into the green, you take the best shot, so you get, everybody gets four chances. Okay. And then you, and then four putts, you know, and you take your best score.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. And so that's when, that's, people get, you play scramble, stuff gets real dicey. I mean, because they have all the fun stuff, there's always, they didn't, this one, but, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of them will do, you can shoot a golf ball out of a cannon. Maybe it's like a t-shirt gun shooter. Like we did that and you shoot a golf out of a cannon and you play the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a bunch of weird stuff. There's some that you can, everybody gets one red tee. So you can use a red tee. So it's just the ladies tee. So you get to go up to the ladies tee and tee off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you decide where you're going to use that. But all that stuff, I mean, people get where they shoot 20 under and it gets nuts, you know, and you start, you're like, it's almost impossible to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost impossible to win. I went close to the pin at Jake's thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which was pretty fun. Nailed it early in the day so everybody saw it cause you write your name so you put a thing in with your name written on it and then whoever gets closer writes their name under it and I mean it was, it was this far. So there to the, you know, about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 8, 12, 10 inches. Boom. Right next to the rest of the day, everybody sees it and everybody brings it up. Everybody knows it. You get a little closer to the pin. I was like, is it still up there? You just act like, uh, but it was, uh, so he was a very, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it was a very fun trip. And then we did, I did another one, had him wearing Sweden's Cove, which is a golf course. It's, uh, kind of near, I want to, I feel like it's near Chattanooga, somewhere down that way. Uh, and they, it's a nine hole course and the greens have two pins on them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the greens are very big. The greens are awesome. And so you play nine holes going to the, you know, the white flag, and then you go back to the same tee boxes and then aim to the blue flag for them. So that's how you play 18. And so Mike Jischimski plays for the San Francisco Giants, Vandy baseball guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe it's found just for soldiers when they come back from PTSD. They have that to get them back into regular life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, to help him out. So it was a very good thing we just did is like 22 guys and he, we rented out, he rented out the whole course, which was unbelievable to do. Not as much as you think they have, uh, and I bet it's going to go away. It was like 4,500 bucks, which he's doing it for charity thing, like 4,500 bucks to rent a course out for the entire day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you get to, so if you wanted to just be like, I want to play a golf course by myself for the whole day, it's $4,500. And so then everybody pitches in, I mean, you could be, it's cheaper than a greens fee, uh, which.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] South Pittsburgh, yes. South Pittsburgh. Is that near Chattanooga? Marion County. Yeah. South Pittsburgh used to beat us in football every year until we beat them in high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we won, our senior. But they, and I didn't play, but I'm just saying. I was most school spirit. Were you really? Yea. I got most school spirit and homecoming king.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, not playing sports. Home cooking, not playing sports. I mean, that's uh, that's impressive. That's, that's tough to do. That's tough to do. But you know, I, girls from the younger, younger, I was always, they always liked me, the younger girls. Like if I was a senior, like, you know, the freshmen, sophomores, they liked me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the, I had the, I would talk to the other, I would talk to everybody.


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[Assistant] And the other ones would, I think, look down on them and I did it. And that was what pulled me through. You weren't an arrogant jock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's what pulled me through. And they, you could come up and talk to me. Yeah. I was the guy that got cut from.


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[Assistant] Basketball, my freshman year. I got cut from the basket. Every year I got cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But my freshman year I got cut from basketball and my dad was the coach and he cut me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that started a trend that I got cut every year from there on out. Wow.


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[Assistant] Set the tone quick at the house, that dinner, that dinner that night was awkward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was a, I was a pretty good ballplayer. I should, I should have been in a play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. He was too hard on you. I think you go over correct. You go over correct. I could see that. To go. I was a freshman. Doesn't matter. You can cut me as a freshman. And then I, but then I got cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From there on out, uh, the coach, I still think about him all the time. Cut me from it. I should have made it once. I was good enough to make, I'm not, I was saying I would have been a starter. We actually had really good athletes in our team. I went to a small school. I could have made it, I should have made it one year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, you know, something, one year. One year, I should have made it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but no one's, usually it's a kid with like autism and then no one's going to show my videos. Oh, that kid's a healthy kid. Uh, you know, like, and they just, you know, you're not going to see that. Here comes the equipment manager. They're going to go, that guy should be started. That's what they would say about me when I come out there and drain. Uh, I, I ducked to Nerf basketball my senior year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Duck to Nerf basketball, not a big deal. Couldn't get a real basketball in there. If you could pull down the rim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not saying I was crushing as an athlete, but I could make the team. I went and played church basketball. I'm out of that joke. And just dominated church basketball. I mean, just came in and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was the, was the leader. If I'm the leader of the church basketball team, I think I can get a spot on a local high school basketball team. That's what I'm saying. You know? But I'm over it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, doesn't bother me now. I can tell man, you clearly moved on. I tell you something, I think about it every day. Uh, I got a picture of that coach when I wake up, I look at it and go, I'm going to show you today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Michael, I am the Michael Jordan of comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that's still giant. That might as well be cut. For that, for that, for him, for that level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That he was, yeaah, that it was just JV. Yeaah. It's disappointing. It is disappointing. You're saying you would have tried more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you feel your productivity in your life slow down when you heard this? Like you think this was the drive in everything you do and then you found that out and you felt that next day was a little lazier than normal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should have been on the varsity team. I think then that was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you go to small school, it's like you're almost everybody's making the team. And then if he goes to JV, then he's basically not making the team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one of the big, one of the biggest grudge holders. I mean, imagine that you have no idea. You just gotta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, hey, turns out he never lets it go and we'll bring it up in his hall of fame speech. He brought up a lot of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, absolutely. I mean, look, I think even a JV Michael Jordan, I don't think we're competing. I mean, I'm not delusional. I'm just saying, for a small Christian high school, Donaldson Christian Academy. What's the oldest Michael Jordan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I, but I, I think some of them are freaks. You're a, you're a phenom that you go get. You ever see like the kids, the kid videos of them doing golf videos where they swing and they, like it's just a perfect swing. Tiger had it. Yeah. Where your Tiger could beat you in golf at eight. I mean, the only thing is his distance, he


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gonna run, I don't think you're ever gonna be able to stand in front of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the problem. Yeah. And actually that's why I think you would lose even cause he's gonna just be to run around you. And so you can't, so you're either going to tie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I thought we were doing by the way. You kind of shocked me when you said 11. I thought that's what we were talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm working on that. Best I ever felt. That's when I'm gonna say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can say this is the best shape. Right now it's probably the best shape I've ever been in. Yea. And it's still not good shape, but it's coming from nothing. You're a good shape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but I'm in good shape, but it's better than what I've ever done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Did he play in college? Uh huh. Where at? At Cumberland. Oh nice. I know Drew Jenton went to Cumberland. Played baseball there. Yeah, they've got a great baseball program at Cumberland. I don't think they did one


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just when he watched tape on you and he watched you steal that base. Still first. Still first. And run back. He goes, what's this? That's, that's the baits. That's the young baits. He's like, oh no. Chip off the old block. Chip off the old block. Look at it. He's confused.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool, man. That's cool. You go to college and stuff like that? He's like, yeah, yeah, you went to college, you gotta learn weather stuff. Uh, you know. Isn't that usually given to women? Mostly. Mostly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weather jobs? Weather jobs? There's gotta be more women doing weather jobs. Oh no, I'd say


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there any younger men doing it now in Nashville? Uh, I know of a guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's old data? Well that was based off, yeaah. That was, if it was on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's also based off, uh, nothing of my knowledge. You're right. I have zero, no, I'm not saying that. I'm saying me, my knowledge of being more women is never thought about it. Never crossed my mind. Don't watch weather on the news. And I just said that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's, so I could be completely wrong in the fact that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever done was it very hard to do the weather thing? Like get used to that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looking and pointing and, you know, I bet you learn it in an hour, but it's, I bet that hour's hard. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not trying to, you know, as I talk about it, they're not, you know, they're not working on it. You couldn't jump in and be good at it right away. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, yeah, they're not laying pipe somewhere. You know, it's not, they're not roofers. Right. I bet they picked it up in an hour and they got, you know, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, so anyway, I don't even know where we've ever been talking about. I was talking about golf, I did that. It was a fun weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all did that. Well, we also did, so we did the golf thing. We played 18 holes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of, a lot of Andy baseballs. I'm going to have some of them come in here too, uh, and sit with us. Uh, and they, we did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing that they did, cause you, since you run this course,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you run around for, Peyton Manning is very involved in this course. It's, I mean, it's maybe the number one nine hour, nine whole course in the country. And then it's starting to be known as one of the top courses in the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you had 45 guys, paid a hundred bucks, you know, that's it. And you just get to do what everyone. And so I can see how companies might.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that would be a great corporate event. I don't know many, many just individuals that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would want to do it, but if you've got a bunch of buddies together, it's like ordering a fight. I know, but if you have to think about, I'm a, you go member at a country club. I mean, there's usually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you know, if you just said, Hey, I rented this thing out, you asked a hundred dudes at a country club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would be like, oh, I'll do it. How much is it? A hundred bucks? Yeah, I'll do it. And if you don't want it, 200 bucks, you get half that, which is a perfect number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because what they also do, they set up a, at the end of it we set up a different way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where, I think it was called the Illuminati round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the idea of it is you start on like one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're, you gotta go like, you gotta figure what's the best way for you to get across. That's crazy. Yeah. Which is very fun to do. That's a very big thing that a lot of guys do at clubs. If it's late, it's not busy. They're do that. All right. We got to play from here to wherever the next place is, which is a kind of a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't really heard about it until, uh, if you join somewhere and then you find like a lot of the staff does that or like, you know, the younger, the car guys will do it and stuff. So, which is very fun, but yeah, it was a fun weekend. And so big golf weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I think that was all I did. And then, did y'all do anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's half, half capacity and reserve your tickets. It's the time to go. If you want to go to Disney world or any of that stuff, this is the time. I mean, it's they, I know something that went to Disney world. They were like, it's the best, best experience they've ever had. No one's there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Beautiful weather. Did you and Ruth sit next to each other? Yeah. You didn't have a separation? Cause your wife, you can't do it with your wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if me and you went to a, we would have, uh, I think you were talking about because.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no. You're talking about just people. Just comfortableness to go. There's no reason for us, there's no one around us. To spread out. So if you and Laura went, you'd spread out? Probably not, I mean, I would, I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I probably would ask, but I'm not, you know, I'm not the most normal person and Laura knows that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they've zip tied the seats, so you can't just sit in any seat. Oh, so you can't, well, I mean, if I have to go even farther, then we have to go farther. But I would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would try to ask if you could, so you couldn't have sit next, like you couldn't have one seat between y'all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, no. Yeah. No. If you could have, would you? No. See, why would you just be more comfortable? Right? Go to movie theater. Why do you not just sit, spread out? You do it with dudes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So with your wife, you don't. I know a lot of guys that don't even want to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And movie theaters. Those people are insane. And that's crazy. And that's uncomfortable. If you go with someone, I've been to a movie theater and no one's in there and I'm sitting down in a seat and I've seen a guy sit behind me. And it's me and him. Maybe, nah, I think it was me and him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just the two of us, some theater, I forget where, on the road, somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause people, watch people line up. When people go get in lines, people just naturally go to next to the person. And he said behind me, I didn't, I don't remember the movie cause I was so, I couldn't get over it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then, cause then I think, was that rude? Am I starting something? Is it, you know, it's, but it was, I was, I mean, I was, I was so angry. Could never, I could never let my mind leave that guy and just watch the movie. Cause I was, why, why, I'm like, why would you ever do that, man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would you not just, not go right behind me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I would, I would try to, if we can, try to spread out, but I'm not going to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be a problem. I'm not, you know, I'll, I'll, I'll sit next to each other and be packed in and I'm fine with that. But yeah, I've, I've been, when you go with a friend and they don't, you're like, come on, just spread out. Like, what are we doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's insane. But people just naturally, I like to watch that. I watch that a lot. Watch people go into any line. Watch people park. They park at a store.


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[Assistant] Anywhere crazy. You'll never be able to really be parked alone because people naturally will just...


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[Assistant] Pull in the, and they pull right next to it. Look at, you know, lines at, when you go to lines, I mean now with COVID it's a little different. Before people just get close, people like, they just naturally will go in a herd. Yeah. And you can watch them and you just think, just go this way.


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[Assistant] And you, I, and I think, I mean I think about it all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Aaron, what did you do?


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[Assistant] I mean, if you ride a tandem bike, do you go, do you go, I mean, we're already committed to the day. So we might as well also sit next to each other. Or do you go, maybe the guy in the back goes, I can't. And then there's like five seats in between you as you're going. It's too much. It's too much. We're two on each other today. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, this week episode, we are going to talk about malls. Did y'all watch the Jasper? I wanted to talk about malls. Did you watch the Jasper mall thing?


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[Assistant] Uh, I watched it. Did you watch it? Ah, here we go. Would you have all weekend of doing nothing? Uh, watch it real fast now. Uh, 85 minutes long, not that long. It is, I was telling Laura, it got great reviews. It's definitely interesting. It's a mall in Alabama, Jasper, Jasper County or Jasper something. And I, I, it was kind of slow, very slow. Nothing really to it.


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[Assistant] So I think if you're from the South and I'm, you know, Tennessee, and I go to malls a lot.


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[Assistant] To me it was like boring and then like my neighbors who were from New Jersey loved it and I think they love it because it's like watching zoo animals to them is honestly what I believe. I almost think it's insulting that back to having people


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[Assistant] They love it being, cause you saw these very old Southern kind of characters, these old men playing dominoes. They play there every day showing them all walkers. They say pledge allegiance to the flag every morning. It was just, I mean, it is showing a small town, but then I take it as.


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[Assistant] Yes, I loved it for that too, but it got, I mean, towards the end I'm like, alright, like this is...


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[Assistant] I could love 45 minutes of it. I love the pacing of it and stuff. And then like 85, you're like, and there's nothing going on. I think I'm thinking too, I think I went into it wrong. I'm thinking something's going to happen.


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[Assistant] And I mean, nothing really happens, but if you want to see Southern, I mean, I mean, Ozzy maybe captured small town living better than anything.


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[Assistant] Uh, that there is. I mean, there wasn't. It's that small town living. That's mall living. They go in, be mall walkers. Uh, it's pretty, it's that. But I, don't you feel like people like, I think people like it because they go, they want to see, they look at it as like that's what those people are like.


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[Assistant] They made them train and they go to the, you sign up for the army there and you have to do the training there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, yeah, the guy, yeah, who knows if he made it. Yeah, it didn't look like it. I mean, the mall's shutting down. They're trying to get a big, I mean, two stuff I never noticed that they said with the, uh, with the mall, they're like, they're asking, they go, do you have two anchors?


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[Assistant] And so anchors are stores. What are your two big stores?


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[Assistant] So now all they have left is Belt, but they used to have Kmart and JCPenney, so they used to have four anchors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had Kmart, JCPenney, Belk, and maybe something else.


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[Assistant] Whatever. So when you think of a store, the mall here, Cool Springs Mall, the anchors, they have a bulk.


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[Assistant] There's a Macy's, but like those big stores are your anchors. So if you lose those anchors, that kind of crushes them all.


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[Assistant] Old people be these like mall walkers. They come do it every morning and they get there. I was wondering when that guy slept.


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[Assistant] The guy that ran it. Cause he would be, he locks it up at seven.


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[Assistant] And then, I mean, they were getting there at dark and it looked like they were getting there at six in the morning.


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[Assistant] You know, and then he's back there. It made it look like he's there around the clock. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Cause I think you gotta unlock the doors where you can get in a mall. Maybe the stores, stores can open wherever they want to open.


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[Assistant] I think I would have thought that they're all under, like we're all in this together, but it's not. I mean, you're a business that's like, you're basically just renting out a building inside a mall, but malls are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean, this small, I mean, they said in the eighties they were, they were trying to drum up business. They had these quartets.


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[Assistant] Uh, come seeing one day and that was kind of a big event for them. And it was, you know, it looked like it was kind of crowded.


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[Assistant] Uh, I mean, relatively speaking, there's all these old, just older people come watching them, playing like gospel music. Gospel quartets and stuff. Yeah. And I was just trying to get, you know, get some people in the door, maybe see some stuff. The guy, one guy was a jewel, jewelry guy, jeweler.


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[Assistant] And he, is that right? Jeweler? Jeweler. Yeaah. I think yeaah. See that's why I would say jewelry guy cause I'm scared of that word, jeweler. I would avoid it. I would say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I try to too, which I think is a big thing to do in comedy. If you can avoid the easiest word to describe what you're trying to say and try to say it in another game. It's funnier to say jewelry guy.


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[Assistant] I do that a lot in comedy. Nobody ever, nobody cares. But just if you're wondering the, I do that a lot. So don't pick the main word that everybody would use to describe that guy. The proper word.


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[Assistant] Described it in a, like that way, avoid the word jewelry guy.


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[Assistant] And if you had a joke saying the jewelry guy comes over, that's very funny. Ring guy, he like makes rings, you know, whatever that guy is. Like that's, I mean, that's a way more funny description. Anyway, uh, I'm gonna teach a comic class at Jesper Mall. Uh, if you come sign up. My wife went to college. She went to, took classes in a mall.


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[Assistant] Really? Yeah. She went to like a college in Alabama at the Madison Mall in Huntsville. Oh yeaah. And she would win there.


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[Assistant] She said she took classes and, and then just left and moved to Nashville, not much after that. And because it was, she was taking, she couldn't, she stopped going because it was learning history and you're like, but we're in a mall. Like you could never get over the idea that you're, you're like, we're in a mall. Someone's buying toys in there. Yeah. People are doing, you know, and you're like,


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[Assistant] In history today, like it would be very, it's kind of weird. You don't feel that full experience.


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[Assistant] I think once you get in, I don't think I ever thought of it like that. I love malls so much.


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[Assistant] That I, I'm excited to be in there. If I find a one and there's a comedy club in the mall, I'm very happy just cause I know I'm gonna walk on this mall all weekend. And I love walking around a mall.


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[Assistant] You're in, I mean, I love being outside, but like, I love also being inside. There's people.


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[Assistant] That's why I think so many people go to it. It's really, you feel like you're doing something. If you're going, I'm going to the mall today, it's like, oh, I'm going to do something. Whether you buy something or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an activity. You're actually doing something. You're walking around. Right. You know, I've been to Mall of America, one of the biggest malls in the country. I don't remember what the biggest mall is, but it is the biggest mall in the country. It is the biggest mall in the country. Yes. Uh, I've been to one in, there's one in Canada too. That one's bigger. Yeah, that one's bigger. I've been to both of those.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're huge. One in Dallas is huge.


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[Assistant] They have ice skating rings and I mean you walk around at your, I mean it's a haul man.


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[Assistant] So in high school they used to do, so they did fashion shows at that jazz mall, they showed that. So they used to do fashion shows, they were really big to do at malls. So we and my buddies would always go and try to get on these fashion shows. I never got on one. They all got on it. So four of us would go.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I, and they would cut me and they, or they, I would never get it. They'd go, all right, my buddy Nick did it. Nick Newman, he did it all the time. He got it. He did every one of them. And I think Kenny did one, but Kenny and Travis Morris are like kind of four guys and, uh, are three guys including me. And then.


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[Assistant] They all gotta do it. Everybody was like, yeah, yes, absolutely, absolutely. And I would go, can I do it? They'd go, no.


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[Assistant] They would say no, they would not let me, like I wasn't good looking enough to be a model.


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[Assistant] I mean, regular guys, I mean, yeah, I guess so back then. I guess, I don't know. I mean, but I, I mean, there's, uh, where's, I don't have the pic. Lar, bring that high school picture.


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[Assistant] This is my high school picture. This is what I looked like in high school. And, uh, it was, it wasn't, I mean, I wasn't just, just a problem. I should have been able to, at a local mall,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's what, well when you're modeling, you're not going, uh, do not best case. You're doing best case. You're bringing best case to the table.


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[Assistant] I had a lot of stuff there. I got, yeah, why did I get told no so much? I got told no all the time.


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[Assistant] I mean I'm in a business that is just constantly no.


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[Assistant] You want a TV show? We're gonna let you get as far as you can and then no.


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[Assistant] Stand up, no. Everything's no. You can do this, no. Everything's no. Everything, yeaah. You're in comedy.


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[Assistant] And which is what I love about this business, it is, it is the most no's I've ever been told. And I think it's, I mean, I, for me, it was dating. Yeah, that was your nose. Have you been told no in comedy? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Is that how they say it in Batman? Penguin? I don't think they did. Oh, I don't know.


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[Assistant] But did they? I don't think that's how they say it in Batman.


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[Assistant] The person watching this now, watching this goes, I think I did the right thing.


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[Assistant] Because you're not having to wear that jacket for the...


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[Assistant] And you were just the person fitting that, like you were just the guy that's going to be, yeah. So she's like, that's the whole point of this. Did you have to pay full price?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, but that, yeah, you, but you're, yeah, you're, I mean, see, I would've wore whatever they wanted.


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[Assistant] Penguin. How do they say it in Batman? We can pull it up.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I'm very curious how they say Penguin in Batman. I think, I think they say Penguin. I don't know if they say Penguin. Here comes the Penguin. The Penguin of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you'd be looking up Jasper Moll. I hope that crashes so bad. There's, uh...


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[Assistant] Trying to figure that out. Or trying to watch that. I did enjoy it. If you want to watch, you know.


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[Assistant] Real Alabama, and they capture it. Which is pretty crazy.


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[Assistant] I love the older guys. I could be, I mean I definitely would be an old mall walker. Definitely.


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[Assistant] And you fit right in. You fit right in. Well, that's your sign of your age is you slowly just start figuring it out. You start figuring stuff out on your own and you go, you know what? A mall would be great to go walk in. So that's, you know, it's you, you've stumbled into basically, oh, you're the, you're the young guy there.


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[Assistant] But now they don't want you indoors.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I agree with that. I think you should, I love them all. I love every mall and I would go to all the malls and I'm a giant fan.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we go to the mall. It's a big deal to go to the mall. I mean, malls were thriving when I was growing up. That was, you know, but now on the road, I love, you know, if I'm someone that's mall, I still am like excited and I will go to that mall and go, I just want to go walk around. I'll go walk around every day. I just enjoy it. It's fun to, you know, it's just fun to do. Yeah. When did malls start? They started in the fifties. Yeah. Yeah. You think I thought it'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like here's a different version, but it was started in 1920. You know, I mean, would the pilgrims, they had, they probably had a version. You had to go buy stuff.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Outdoor used to be, outdoor is probably older. I guess.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I loved about LA cause the LA would have, California would have all these outdoor malls. And so they were.


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[Assistant] Just awesome. It would, you know, I mean, when we moved to California, I would go, I would go sometimes if I just have anything to do in a day and I was at home and I just wanted to go.


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[Assistant] Out and go do something. I would leave my house and go walk around the malls in California. They were outside. I enjoyed it.


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[Assistant] I don't think I buy that much stuff. It's not like I go and buy stuff, I just enjoy walking around.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, you couldn't, they couldn't find you. Uh, I remember getting to go by myself.


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[Assistant] Uh, they used to, people used to fight though at Rivergate Mall. That's when it started changing. People would meet there for fights.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. They would say come meet here at the Rivergate Mall. This was after. In the parking lot? No, sometimes in the mall. Oh wow. So we're all gonna meet there and then that's where they're gonna fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I just, I think it was after me, but I remember going and then cause malls have taken a turn.


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[Assistant] Well, that's, I remember Opry Mills, Opryland theme park was there and they knocked it out for the mall. And I remember I was like, and how much I love malls. I was still a little excited that the mall was coming, but I was like, that's so stupid. Why would you do that? And I still don't agree with it.


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[Assistant] They should still have the theme park there. Cause the theme park was the best to go walk around in high, like if you go in high school, you get a, we'd get a patent. That was my first job. I'm actually going there today. Uh, or the grand opera today, but there, uh, that was my first job was to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do that. I was 15 and I was a sweeper. I just swept the park up and went and walked, uh, I had dogs.


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[Assistant] I would sit, people leave their dogs, like we left, went to Dollywood, we had Holly. And so we put her in the kennel and I would be in charge of those kennels and one dog got out. Cause they'd had these S clips to put in the cages and they did, they were one short.


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[Assistant] So I was having to like guess on which dog do I think would figure out, cause he didn't, how to get this thing open, so you just kind of like.


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[Assistant] Which dog do you think is not going to be able to figure it out? And, uh, I did not choose correctly in this dog. The doors, someone's the doors open.


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[Assistant] And I remember someone was paying or something, the doors open. I'm 15, 16 years old. And I just see the corner of my eye. And I'm like, and this dog is gone. Just in, you remember the parking lot would just be packed.


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[Assistant] And dogs in the parking lot. So then we've got to run out there, but I can't leave because then there's other dogs.


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[Assistant] Clips, it was, they were short on the, you'd put these clips in cause they, they, if a dog could hit the cage, he could get the little lock. So you had to have that in so they couldn't. But it was just pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa


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[Assistant] Dogs bring, I'm trying to think of anybody bringing weird animals either. These were vacationers? Yeah. Huh. So they come in, they bring their dog and then you just put them in there. And we put Holly in when we went to Dollywood.


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[Assistant] I think people would be camp, you know, people going to Opryland would be camping a lot, RVs. And you would, and they would have their animals. I don't think they're bringing them into hotels. I don't think they would have allowed it then, you know, but they're bringing them those other way. But we did that, but now then became a mall and now it's a mall. 1950s is, it's pretty crazy.


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[Assistant] Maul's had a good run, then. It's funny, Maul's lifestyle, life...


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[Assistant] What is it? Life expectancy or life lifespan lifespan. I was bad and I was around, you know, it's getting there. I knew, I knew it's like film for a, I can't bring up examples. I can't say the wood and the.


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[Assistant] Drywall? God. You know when you kind of hit on a wall? To find the stud? Find the stud? Yea. I was like...


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[Assistant] I don't know how many you think there were, I mean would you say? I don't know at it's peak what it was.


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[Assistant] Yeah, 5,000 or is that? At its peak? Insane, yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I think I don't know if it's, it's, it's, oh, where, how many, nice open, uh, at least one new shopping business. All right. We're looking stuff up. And it's, uh, how many malls are left?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's definitely speeding it up. They are. Uh, the expert, we've got an expert, Aaron Weber. Uh, COVID guy is COVID, COVID is bad for malls too. Oh, never thought about that. Indoor things, the old people walk around and you think that'd be bad for COVID?


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[Assistant] Columbus, you know, like, you were at the Columbus Funny Bone, right? Yeah. So, like, Columbus Funny Bone, one of the top comedy clubs in the country. And, uh, that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do that kind of route more, where you have movie theater, you have that comedy club, and you have, like, go that route and be like, it's the center of these towns, and it's, this is where you're gonna go. Have bars, have, you know, restaurants, but they need to be good restaurants. They need to be, you know, they gotta, it can't, I think it's like,


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[Assistant] We kinda grew past all the stuff that was in there. I don't understand why people are shopping. I don't know how to shop outside of going to mall when someone...


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[Assistant] Is, says they're going to go buy clothes and I'm like, so you go to the mall, right? I don't understand. People are like, no, I don't go to the mall at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's always crazy to me. It's either Walmart or the mall for me. Yeah, online shop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess I'm just not into online shopping. Like I think I gotta try stuff on too much to see how it fits. And I, you know.


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[Assistant] Dan Soder, I might have told this story on there, but he would, I remember one day we were driven, he was opening for me somewhere, I want to say Pennsylvania or something, and, uh, we go to Walmart.


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[Assistant] And he buys, uh, we go into this Walmart, we just walk in there, we're in the middle of town where, you know, we've been living in New York for a long time. So it's like, he's like, ah, like, you know, he grew up in Colorado, but like outside of Colorado. So he's like, ah, this is like old memories going into, cause when you're in New York, I mean, there's nothing in New York outside of like real.


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[Assistant] And, uh, a real stores and then Soder just goes in and, uh, buys, this is a long time ago, but he just buys, uh, like a six pack of jeans and he goes, all right, and puts them in the cart and goes, I'm good. And I was like, this is how you buy your jeans. He goes, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, about six of them right there. I mean, he was buying stuff that...


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[Assistant] Walmart jeans, just bought a six pack of, six pack of them. Like he was a 80 year old man that just goes, oh, I need new jeans. These are the size. I love it. Yeah. He died and he doesn't do that now.


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[Assistant] I can assure you that he's probably not far off from, he's probably still clo- he's closer to that than he is away from it, but I don't think he's doing that now.


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[Assistant] That's, that's, that's what they're going to have to do is, is do that. Like just, I mean, you go, you gotta like live there. People can shop, walk around, just create.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yes. And it's a one, you go there and we get it all done. And then, you know, I mean, I, I, I love them all. I don't know if people do, I mean, do people not like them? I guess. I think this, what's the big stores leave?


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[Assistant] If a big store goes out of one, then you just, you know, you gotta, I guess there's gotta be a reason for us, for you to go there. But that guy, the, the jeweler that we were talking about earlier, I don't think I finished, that guy said on that Jasper, he had one day, he goes out at a $24 day and a $16 day.


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[Assistant] So in his business that day, he made $16 one day. He's like, yeah, I mean, that's just not gonna, not gonna do it. Uh, I don't know how much they're selling. I mean, I would think, I think malls around here are doing good. I mean, they're definitely not, some will be crowded. The weekends will be crowded. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. That guy said he would sit in his office and there's days where he wouldn't see a person walk. Like, so he would be in the back room because that's where he works on the rings. And then he's got a window and he could look through it. And he's like, there's days where you don't see a person walking. It's not like they're not coming into your store. You're not even seeing people. That's crazy. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean it's, what's, yeah, what's another fun fact from yours?


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[Assistant] So it's either a destination place because now if you live there. Yeah.


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[Assistant] That the only thing they would have to do is you gotta make it easy for the people that live there. Cause if you live there, you're like, I'm not going to that mall. It's going to be, it's a night I'm not paying to park. I'm not like, you know, if I'm just trying to go to the gap, I'm not going to go through all these hoops to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember just seeing like, cause he's from there, Minneapolis and uh, or Minnesota. Yeah. And yeah, he, he was a, like, he worked in the, for the Vikings, like he was a ball, or his dad worked in the ball, maybe his concession stand or something. He worked in the Viking stadium.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, so, and I saw him just, he was like hanging out at the mall, like they were walking around on those rides. But if you have stuff like that, the thing is the stores have to feel good. Like you have to, you got to want to go to these stores. And I don't know if malls have a bad, you know, people look down on them. I think, you know, they think they're gross or they think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm above them all. I go, I don't go to them all. So people have that kind of air to them.


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[Assistant] And so people that would actually spend money are not gonna go.


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[Assistant] I guess they're not gonna go to a mall, but if you had some real stores in it...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean, there's one in Atlanta in Buckhead, I think that's a mall that's just super nice stores. But I feel like if someone's buying something crazy, they want to buy it, not at a mall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like if, if you're trying to buy say a purse, that's whatever the expensive Louis Vuitton or Louis Vuitton purse. It's you want it to come from somewhere other than that store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm saying even if you went to the Louis Vuitton store, I don't know, in my head I think, I don't know how you would get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess you would go to the store. They buy it online. Like, would you want to buy it online then? Or you'd want to buy it from someone that sells those purses. Like, oh, there's this person, she, they, yeah, I got this Louis Vuitton, like there's a story. You want a story? That's what I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm trying to say. If you're buying something like that, you want a story of how you got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want it to be, I went down to the Louis Vuitton store and bought it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's why people buy all that stuff in New York, those crazy purses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they want the story attached to, how'd you get this purse? You're like, oh, we went to one of them in Chinatown where they have the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would go down like this, you know, you have to like say, some guy goes, go to that guy and that guy's looking, you go to that guy and he's like, y'all here by person? They go, yeah. And I remember we walked, you go down these steps and you walked down this real long hallway and shut the door behind you and you're like, I don't know what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you get in, so I mean, there's like, you know, it's like this guy's telling you to go to this guy. It's like a drug deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you go walk down and you go in this room and then he's got all the, all the purses that you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're, I think they're real at that point. They're not, they're not knockoffs. They're, I think they're real, but maybe they're not, maybe the knockoffs are, they're straight up knockoffs where it's not, you know, usually there's something they would, they would always say, I don't know if I talk about this in New York, if you go by


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The purses on the street in New York City, you don't ever buy them from the guys that are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can properly just sit there all day that are, they have a stand. You gotta buy it from the guys that are, if they're laid out on a blanket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are the guys, because those guys are constantly having to grab it, wrap it up and run. So they're the ones that are going to have the real stuff. If you buy it from a guy that's allowed to just sit there all day, well, he's got the proper documentation to sell stuff. So his purse is not going to be as good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need them from the guy that's on the blankets. I would have thought right the opposite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, they're the ones that go get more trouble. So their purses are more, if you were trying to get a knockoff purse, that's the one that's going to be more legit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, not like, or not something that I remember. I mean, I definitely have forgot where I parked or I'm trying, nothing off the top of my head that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got an iPhone and an Apple watch on you? They can track you no matter what.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to pay it? I don't know, but. They should pay him. To be like, if you can't do that, if you can't find your car, does he not, does he not have the ticket on him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you, so you, and you don't believe in Dog Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this is, this is, you're on the verge of, I mean, if I was, say I wanted you to believe in dogma and I would think we have a window, a door has opened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're not far off. I mean, you're wearing a jacket with, that looks like a jacket that goes, here's all the malls we have in our store. It's just, all it is is just, I mean, logos. Logo after logo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Type that in. I want to see it pop up. Aroma Task Force at Starbucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying that, yeah, I didn't think that there was, I'm not saying even their thing, but I don't even see anything just popping up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need to open up my Tor browser. Yeah, you're like, do you think this computer is going to, do you think Apple is going to let me see this stuff? No. And then you pull out a, you got like an old DVD player that you've made a computer. That's how you go, well, look at this website.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like, listen to music, I always think I don't listen to music a ton. And I've actually tried to listen to more music when I drive, just to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That kind of fits your comedy, fits your, it's the experience when they walk in, you want people to maybe sing us, you know, they're kind of singing a little bit with the song. They're like, I love the song or whatever. Just, yeah, it does get you in a better mood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that boom boom, like that was a American Eagle, was like the DJ music type, wasn't it American Eagle? Hollister. Hollister. Hollister. There's another, Abercrombie and Finch. Right. And that was, uh, Abercrombie and Finch, they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They wouldn't sell sizes over like 34.


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[Assistant] It looks like that guy looked like a guy that you said, you can't say that. He's like, what? Why can't I say that? Like he just doesn't, he's just learning that. Yeah. No, you can't. That's just mean to say. He's like, I don't, I don't think it's mean. Right. Is that an Abercrombie or Fitch?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they play that music and that music will run you out. I could see that. I could go in a store and you're like, I can't listen to this music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you just know, well, that store is not for me. And then kids are going in like, they love it. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, man. You're being manipulated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you mean? Old sales tactics, all of it. The problem is like, it's getting scarier now cause it's on, it's in your phones and computer. Like, so it's, you used to have to go somewhere to enjoy the, I think you're going to miss the days of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going to a mall and being manipulated, like you're, you know, you see an old man, like it's an old trick and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My stories are what sell this. Yeah. Merchandise. Oh, that's what Peterman said. Yeah. It's what Peterman says. And then he says. Cheap fabric and. Yeah. Cheap fabric and dim lighting. That's how you move merchandise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, towards the end, I was kind of, we kind of kept moving along. We're like, all right, I, I'm kind of, but it's like, it's watching the Santa get ready in a very nice, quiet thing. It's kind of, you get, it's in trancing, in trancing. It is, but they show the guy with the shirt off. No, that worked. In trancing or trancing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't make a life, can't be a full time job unless you're crushing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, just you have a big year. I mean, imagine that, you're pre-retired, you're making money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have a real beard, I mean I think you moved to the top. You're just gigantic at the top. Cause you have to be committed to that basically all year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you look like Santa all year and everybody's going, you look like Santa all year long. You're like, I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you like make some pretty good coin on this and, but imagine that you just work for six weeks, 20 grand out. Yeah. Especially if you're retired, that's great. Yeah. You're tired. Yeah. I mean, you're just like, get those money. You get that fun. You go to get them all. Yeah. That's crazy. Uh, we're about to have to wrap up. Is there any more fun facts?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which I always look up the future, like I always like to look up the future of something. And it's funny that malls there, there's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna need to do outdoor malls, probably seasonal malls. You're gonna have to make them events.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought Memphis was called Murder Mall. Look at Murder Mall. Murder Mall in Memphis. And I think it was like known as like gangs would be there and, uh, I mean some malls were crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mall of murder. Mall of murder, sorry. Uh, ladies in early nineties, several, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Several deadly shootings and irrational robberies occurred near the mall's parking lots. These events led to the Mall of Memphis developing a reputation for being unsafe and being nicknamed the Mall of Murder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that, I mean, that hurts. Number of anchor tenants, three. They had three anchor tenants. Uh, what's another crime?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to have a fake store and they're like, oh, that's funny. And it's like, uh, it's just going for people. Guy was a family who's tied up in their, uh, truck of their car and they were luckily found and, uh, they both lived and, uh, yeah, pretty crazy. Wow. You're like, who did it? Still don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Las Vegas was the first, I saw an escalator outside and I was blown away. Outside, outdoors. An outside escalator. I don't know if I've seen it, maybe I have. At an airport, they probably have. Now, once you see it, you realize, yeaah, it's not as crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember thinking like, wow dude, like I remember going to Las Vegas, they have escalators, they're just outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not like you're like, I don't wrap my head around. It could get rained on. It can get rained on. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think so, cause they have stairs also.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I don't think so because they have regular stairs. So if you want to go walk, then go use the regular stairs versus like a moving sidewalk. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is meant to walk on at an airport because that's meant to just speed up your walk because it's a long way to walk.


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[Assistant] Amanda's airport's got enormous ones, but those are, you ain't gonna walk those cause those are, it's so long, no one's walking.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And I'm like, if no one's in front of you, I would say keep going. But I think the general is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, yeaah, it's a, it's a ride. Okay. And then, you know, so. Alright. I mean, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. Support your local mall. Support your, go to your local malls, man. You know, they are regular people. They are just regular people stores. There's not, I think people can think two malls are a chain. Right. And they think that these, these, these guys just start these stores. It is no different than a store being on a corner of a street. Yeah. Go to your malls, buy some stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some fun stuff in the mall. You can get a t-shirt with a wolf on it. Where are you gonna get that? Gonna get it at a mall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, thank you guys for listening. As always, leave in the comments. Uh, I got two more dates for the one night only tour, drive in dates, San Diego and Anaheim, December five and six. You can go check that out. Y'all have anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got nothing. Wide open. Uh, alright, well thank you guys. Listen, leave your comments, all that stuff. Truly, we love you very much. And uh, yeah, we'll talk to you soon. Folks! Folks might be the thing. We'll find out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can fast forward. But what I find is people realize we may not know what we're talking about a lot of times and they want us to know it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel that way at church when like the preacher's like, later on we're going to be talking about 2nd Thessalonians, you know, oh boy, I'm already checked out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also noticed that whenever it's a nice fun comment, people like to say, oh, Brad was funny or Matt, you know, whatever I've been called. But when it's this, they're very specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So far we've promoted COVID, smoking while pregnant, and now dying from laughter. And we're still in the comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, like I don't know. I do that. You talked to three people? I don't think I'm famous, but I, there's some that didn't get a lot of viewers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Depends on what the poll is. If they ask me a poll about jobs, yea, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, when you don't read the questions and just want 10 bucks, they go pretty fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Vol State would be like, look, we can't give you anything, but we'll come to your house and clean your house for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why Volstate would be the best, because they don't have to go anywhere. No kids, soccer. They're like, hey, I'll finish this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're unusual because most people just moved here like a couple years ago for a job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or grew up here like us all our life, but you kinda came, what'd you say, your junior year of high school?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they're all in sync with each other, couldn't that car in the very back start moving the exact same time as the car up front?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but Uber, I mean Uber's working on flying cars, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I used to drive for Uber and I would pick up a lot of teenage kids from school or wow, take them to a friend's house or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a couple of friendly bets going. I just told him, one, his daughter will never pump her own gas. She probably will, but yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think most of her life she won't be pumping gas, she'll probably be electric. And the other thing I said is by 2030, half of Nashville will have self-driving cars. Now, I'm not talking about, because Elon Musk was talking about level 5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is what he's, where it's just all autonomous. I'm talking about some level of self driving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, but I'm saying that by 10 years from now, like half the cars will be doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, I'm not saying everyone will just be kicked back reading a book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that is the job of a futurist. Futurologist? He loves it. Follows all this, what do you? Yeah, I read a lot of that stuff. Who's the futurist person you follow? Uh, this is Ray Kurzweil that's on here. He thinks we're going to live forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, he thinks computers will get to the point where they'll be advancing medicine fast enough that our, the average lifespan will increase by more than a year, every year. So if the average lifespan now is what, 78 maybe, you know, and then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But AI, so it's hard to understand why would a computer would want to take over the world. But all these people, Elon Musk, Stephen Hawking, when he was alive, warned, Bill Gates warns about if you're not careful, it could happen. And basically it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you pro-program computers, once they get so super level that they're above us,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Program computer, the example of what he gave was, you program a computer, make staples the most efficiently way possible. And then, uhm, it starts thinking, well, to perform my task, and it has no morals or ethics, it doesn't care what it has to do, it just wants to perform its task, it'd be easier for us to kill


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? And we're getting dumber though, because like, think about, I don't know anyone's phone number now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except my mom who still has a landline, but because our computers, they remember everything for us. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think about movies, how it's always been, if there's some type of heist or some type of exchange, they always have a briefcase full of money or- Right. It's very tangible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just gonna be, you're gonna have to hold up a laptop, like, look what I got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They mentioned that in the movie. Richard Pryor was a computer genius and he did something similar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian, go ahead. Elon Musk, among others, is concerned about that, so he wants to, you know, create, he's got this company Neuralink that, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically would hook your brain to the internet and ideally first it would help out people like paraplegics or those that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I have motion issues to help them, which, you know, I hope, I hope it does work. That would be wonderful for that to happen. But, but then it'll go further and hook our brain so we can keep up with the computers. Which concerns me because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know basically I can't ever afford the nicest package. I'd get the basic package. So Nate would be like, Hey, look up, uh, when Tom Patey died. I'm like, uh, I don't have that. I give you a brave score. I just, I just got the basics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was a different guy, but uh, he's got a Netflix documentary as well about they're trying to do that. And it's, it's, they're going to do 3D printing of organs. So if you need a new heart or new kidney, they'll just print one. They're doing some gene therapy stuff, some DNA stuff where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've already done it with mice where they've made mice younger. Uhm, or at least physically seems younger, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he's a... Yeaah, there's people who think it's already happening. That seems...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to a thousand. Yeah. Life expectancy has gone up over the years, but lifespan hasn't greatly increased heartburn this because the mortality rate, infant mortality rate is so much less than it used to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of children, babies dying early at births, which would bring down the overall age limit, but now a lot less of that. So the average lifespan is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, some people think if you didn't have any predisposed genetics, like your family, cancer or anything like that, since you're one of the first people ever that maybe you could live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My fear is this is timing out where it's right when I get really old, it's going to be when they figure it out and I'm just going to stay really old for a thousand years. Like, so they, it's the time that you're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a Russian billionaire went to the International Space Station.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cosmonauts, yeaah, they, they took him up there, he paid uhm, you know, a ton of money obviously to do it. But commercial space flight, I mean, it's supposed to be very soon, 600 people have already put down $250,000 to fly Virgin Galactic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's not like you're up there for that long. I think it's six minutes of weightlessness. Yeah. Where you'd be floating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I think this one is more like a plane where the giant jet takes you up. It's supposed to say a rocket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Orbit, sub orbit it said, where you can see the curvature of the earth if you believe in that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can see outer space, uh, and they said they'll have lots of selfies. Like they know that people just want to take pictures of themselves. They'll have like every angle you can find to see the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe not, uh, well eventually yeaah, but eventually just set up, set up some type of base. NASA set up some type of base there and eventually people will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You live there. I mean, NASA and rational people have one timetable and then Elon Musk has a totally different one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could be. Alright, uh. But would you take a flight, cause they know about taking rockets to other countries, like New Zealand in 25 minutes, stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An hour. Could there be like a really fat guy that he like wants his money back? He's like, dude, it didn't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. Hello folks. Uh, you know, all the good stuff that we've been saying, we've been saying it on stage. Yeah. You think people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were doing all weekend, uh, about, if I just ended it and I was like, good night America! And just like, that's the last thing on this special. Just good night America! And then just, and then be done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a good, you know, starting is sometimes the hardest thing to do. You have your start. Uh, we had a, we had an awesome weekend. Uh, all of us were out. We had amazing shows. Everybody came out. We were in Louisville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Indianapolis, St. Louis and Kansas City. And, uh, these drive-ins have been great, man. We have, uh, a few more, just the last little run, three more coming up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dallas, Austin and Houston this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I think I'm going to, I'm doing two in December, I believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Anaheim and San Diego. I think just Nick will be with me out there. Uh, the bus, you're doing those, right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be awkward if I'm like, well, you know, I just, I can't. So busy. Uh, December five and six out in California. Uh, so those tickets are on sale now as I believe they're on sale. I could be saying this and there's a chance they're not even announced yet, but I, I believe it's on sale. San Diego, Anaheim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna say that December 5th, 6th, uh, me and Nick will be out there. These drive-ins have been good. They, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think everybody's going into them with the right mindset. I think the audience is there with the right mindset. I think they enjoy it. I, uh, I've actually enjoyed


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing them, I haven't minded them as much as I thought I would. You thought you would not like hearing that crowd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They honk or they, people have been sitting out front. I mean, it's been cold, man. It was, in Kansas City, it was 39 degrees and it was super, super cold. I mean, I remember my, I've learned that I hold the mic with my left hand a lot because how cold my left hand was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, golly, it's almost like it showed you your, whatever your habits are on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but they were, everything was, every show's been great, every show's been fun, we went to NASCAR race, we, I played with me and Brian, we got hooked up, uh, Brian hooked us up, we played Valhalla, uh, played, I played terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, it was an unbelievable course. Tiger Woods won his PGA Championship. I said U.S. Open, but he won his PGA Championship there. So did Rory. So getting to play there was unbelievable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It already went to the draw cleaners. You just bought it. Oh, I was like, God, that's a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a lot of stuff. And you kind of ducked out on your own. I mean, you just, when you went into that jacket, you didn't want a lot of people there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you bought, when you said I wanted that jacket, did the people on the counter go, Oh, I figured you already owned it, but yeah, we'll give you one. Did they just assume you walk up and just, I'll take that Bush, uh, I'll take Kurt's then, uh, 2007 jacket. You know, the, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's his old colors he used to run with. Uh, Kurt Busch, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kevin Harvick had a good race. We were there with Eric Stone Street, uh, and so Eric was awesome and we all hung out with his buddies, his friends, a lot of police officers and those dudes are the best. They were fun. They were super fun. Uh, we got a police escort in there just cause they know all these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, they're like high up in the police, so they helped us out and got us in through the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't that crowded to begin with. Cause they're doing the social distancing. And everybody's wearing masks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's something that, I mean, you know, people get mad, it makes you furious, people yell at the middle of the country thinking we're not wearing masks. We were at a NASCAR race, that's number one who they're gonna blame for not wearing masks. Everybody had a mask on. Everybody was wearing a mask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we were the problems. We came in their world and we were the problems. Uh, we took pictures, we didn't wear masks. That's right. But, uh, we wore masks, we wore ours, and it was an awesome, awesome time. Uh, it was a fun weekend. Uh, the new bus was good, slept in the bunks with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With some comments from YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, uh, and NateLand at natebargetzi.com if you want to send an email in. Joshua and Caleb, two people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember when I was a kid and TGIF was a thing on Friday night TV. I used to be so excited to come home and watch the best shows on TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel the same way now about Wednesday mornings. You guys are the best. Uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Thank you, Joshua and Gabe. Uh, TGIF was a big deal. I remember TGIF. That's a pretty big honor. I mean, they put you in with Family Matters right there. Yeah, we're as good as Family Matters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, it was, it was a big Friday night, was a big TV night. ABC. They had Full House, Family Matters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were both. I mean, you'd all sit and watch them. That was TV was, I mean, that was, it was the best. Urkel. Urkel still, I mean, still, that's when, like, that's about the last time TV shows you were,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Superstars. Modern Family, Eric, Eric's shows. That was, that's as far as the later that they got where they became these gigantic hit hit hit shows. Uh, so it's awesome, very nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, Aaron and Blueberry have gotten me through these recently tough times and your podcast is a true escape from our hectic and complex world. Wow. Uh, I love it. Good for you, Harrison. And you know what? You're better for it. She's out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta get back on the prowl. You're 31, you're a young man, Harrison. Yeaah. Get out there and go live it up. It's a good name, Blueberry too. I like that. Blueberry is a great name. Blueberry I think would be a funny name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To say in comedy. Blueberry. Blue, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might be walking Harrison's outside, out there hanging out, handing out his business card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love concession stand food, so we've eaten a lot of it. I love concession stand burgers. Uh, every one of them I've liked. Every burger.


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[Assistant] We had some fries that were really good, uh, that had almost a hint of a popcorn. It's very like a, cause concession stand food is.


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[Assistant] He's got, they're french fries with little, like if you went to a nice restaurant, little, little take, might taste a little popcorn. Cause that popcorn's cooked right next to those fries. And you're like, oh, I'd like to try that.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And that's cause they're made in the same thing. And that's cause one guy left. And so now we, the guy that has the popcorn has to do fries too. Cause we, uh, he only had one set of tongs. Like that's the story behind, uh, there's a little hint of popcorn butter in the fries. Oh, why is that?


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[Assistant] Uh, we had a guy try to, uh, beat up another coworker. We had to fire him. So now we only have one person working both stands.


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[Assistant] And his hands get, they have butter on it and he also messes with the fries. And so it combines a great butter fry taste. And you're like, okay. That's like a redneck nice restaurant.


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[Assistant] The big St. Louis cake was, yeaah, they, someone put butter, someone cooked it.


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[Assistant] Gooey butter cake, and someone cooked a cake wrong, and now St. Louis is famous for it. And then, you know, yeaah, and it was unbelievable.


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[Assistant] And I didn't think I was gonna like it. I'm always not. Sometimes I like, I like sweet stuff. I love Sour Patch Kids and I love ice cream.


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[Assistant] That's like my world. I'm not a big, I don't get too crazy in desserts. I'm not a just whatever dessert, let's try it. And I thought this could be too much and it was just right. It was nice. They know what they're doing.


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[Assistant] So the problem, just so everybody knows, cause everybody wants this Krispy Kreme challenge. And everybody, you know, we weren't doing it cause Aaron didn't want to do it, but Aaron.


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[Assistant] Throws out how much you eat. Like for how much Aaron makes us feel bad, I don't want to be eating a bunch of donuts.


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[Assistant] Aaron's go-to in any situation is how quick do you think I can eat that?


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[Assistant] And that's, if anything pops up, that's a lot of food. How long do you think it take me to eat that? So Aaron, I think you want to eat it. Oh, of course I want to.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, but you said that in, if you, if you see it, we'll post a picture of it on the Neyland social. It's in the video that you put up. Oh, okay.


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[Assistant] I don't ever put it on popcorn and mine's as yellow as, I think my popcorn is always yellow. I never go wild.


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[Assistant] So a guy walks out and just shaving butter off in the farm.


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[Assistant] You don't see, then you would see it turn yellow. We would notice that. It'd be like, you'd be like, oh no, have you ever seen him make pop? Like we'd be.


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[Assistant] You would have seen it at some point, you'd go watch it as a school kids. Watch this, watch the popcorn turn yellow.


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[Assistant] Caitlin Blanchard, I will personally sponsor this podcast if you please dedicate an episode to Nate trying to pronounce words. I'm only eight minutes in listening to Nate trying to read the comments and I'm for real crying. Caitlin gets it. That's the...


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[Assistant] Just sponsor us, Caitlin. Might already be sponsoring Aaron.


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[Assistant] So far I've done pretty good. Kaitlyn Blanchard sounds like someone that would give you a hat that would be, Blanchard sounds like a NASCAR name.


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[Assistant] The Blanchard family. Chandler Shaw. Nates back and forth with Nick's.


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[Assistant] But Nick proves his own hypothesis that if you say something with confidence, people will believe you.


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[Assistant] Also BamBam over there needs to wear a hat. The light shining out the story is blinding. Love the show. Keep doing a good job. You think people watch this show on TV and they go, hey, turn the, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're catching on to it. Uh, Smith B. Morgan. Honestly, just thankful Nate said what I was thinking. Obviously a non-sports fan writing that article about Manti Tal.


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[Assistant] If it says the ESPN Awards Show, I love that there's something left in the world that isn't just people ranting at each other about serious things. Thank you, Smith v. Morgan. That is true. I'm glad that, yea, that's the ESPN Awards Show. That is crazy. And that was an ESPN article, as someone said.


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[Assistant] That's why it wasn't a Heisman award, so that's why his phone is on.


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[Assistant] Never heard of it. Why are they showing that? There's an ESPN award?


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[Assistant] It won't be in this act, but for the next act.


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[Assistant] Uh, that I come with. But like, you can make anything sound like you're, like someone, you know.


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[Assistant] We're, you know, I was the first comedian to perform on Late Night since the pandemic. Like that sounds awesome. But like how much can you say that you, you could say that about anybody, that anybody, anything that anybody does.


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[Assistant] Not even comedic or it could be regular job stuff. And you could put that to be like, wow.


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[Assistant] I was the first man came, like you could word it to go some guy that on the janitor at Ford.


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[Assistant] He goes, I was the first guy, I knew I had to be the first guy back since this pandemic and I started this going back. And you're like, well, did you? And you go, I dunno, I just opened the, I had the keys and there was a line behind me and I was the first one to go in. You could make anything sound where you're like, wow, dude, like you could make yourself sound


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[Assistant] You like, you should be in a history book. For any situation? For any situation. You could just be...


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[Assistant] And there's some guy at home wearing all that going, oh, you guys, I've been wearing this since the nineties. Just, I imagine a guy sitting in his recliner. He's got that hat on, that jacket.


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[Assistant] And that's good. So you can tell when you're, if you're getting too far away and too, cause that, that helps to know like, Hey, I'm getting too quiet.


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[Assistant] Versus, I like, I like hearing, it's able,


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[Assistant] It's easy to really hear everybody. You don't miss anything. Even the little subtle kind of lines. I'm not sure I...


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[Assistant] I uh, but it feels like pro. I, I like that. It feels pro. I think the main, I like it cause it feels pro. You feel, I think it keeps you in this world too. So when you're coming out and doing a show and this is a show, it makes us feel also you were in this, I'm not


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[Assistant] Distracted by, you know, we're, we're at my house. Is there a door going to open? Is Holly walking around? Like nothing distracts you. You kind of just, you feel very much in the zone of the show. No, you do not need headphones and some people don't wear them.


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[Assistant] I've always liked wearing them. And the main reason I liked it at the beginning was I do think they look cool. And that was the only reason.


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[Assistant] I'm doing a podcast. You know how long it took me to look for these headphones? I mean, when I got them, I mean, I dove, I dive in. It's a nightmare. I ordered some other ones and then I went back to this one. These were the ones that are most used in podcasts. I mean, it was a whole thing.


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[Assistant] CCM1, can Mick become a permanent addition to the podcast? He is awesome. Mick, what do you think? I would love it. I would love it. He lives in, uh, California, so he's not going to do that, but if he was here. Yeah. If Nick moves here.


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[Assistant] That seat's always there for him. We gotta talk my wife in, my French bulldog. Yep.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the dog too. She's, you know. She gets it. She likes to go down, uh, and walk the Chinese theater. Yeah.


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[Assistant] She likes to see Robert Redford's star every day. That's where she goes to the bathroom. Alright. Barbershop Harding Society. Here we go.


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[Assistant] Not sure if it's considered a hoax since we didn't let it go on for days on end, but for April Fool's 2019, we at the Barber Shop Harmony Society announced that in January 2022, we would be hosting our annual mid-winter event in Nome, Alaska.


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[Assistant] We created an event logo, had a webpage with hotel information, and released a teaser video. We knew the staff would get calls once the announcement went live, so we presented the info at an all staff meeting the day before. And there were cheers. We told them this was an April Fool's joke, there was an audible grunting.


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[Assistant] You would think the fact that Nome is only accessible by plane and dog sled, let alone the notion of Alaska in January would be a dead giveaway, but we still got calls.


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[Assistant] So they did a whole thing and, I mean people were like, oh great, we're going to Nome, Alaska.