[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't, so my mom's family did that, but our family growing up, we got to open one gift the night before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the kids got older, we would go to midnight mass, yeaah. But growing up, we were morning of or early Christmas Eve mass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure, I never did, that was just how my mom, my mom's family did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they wake up and go to mass, I'm sure in the morning and just, but they open all the gifts the night before. Cause that's when Santa came.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now how did you guys, I'm curious, how did you guys open GIFs? Was it a free for all or was there some structure to it or how did that, how did that go?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Christmas morning and they're just going at it. And I'm like, man, this is anarchy in this family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think yeah, I think maybe it's my, I'm going to Google this in a second, but my thinking is it's, it's Santa Claus comes Christmas Eve and then Christmas is just the religious holiday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So maybe saying it just comes the night before to let you have the whole day be about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They weren't using a Gregorian calendar back then. So who knows what timing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the calendar that we all use, the Gregorian calendar, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm guessing if you're eating a poinsettia plant, you probably got some other dietary problems, you know? So maybe that causes it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, saying a bit of a creep. People don't talk about that, but the way he started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's what I was always taught is that Santa Claus is Saint Nick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That guy rid all the snakes on Ireland. You know what I'm talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I know that was Saint Nick, right? That was Saint Nick. I didn't, I thought I didn't know it was a different Saint Nick in Turkey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, that does, that does sound more like the Santa we know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever do st Nick, st Nicholas day? We did that growing up. It was like December 7th. Do you ever do st Nicholas day? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] St. Nick, that we'd leave our shoes outside of our bedroom and Santa would come and leave candy in our shoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was like December 5th or December 7th. I think it's a Catholic thing, but it's Saint Nick Day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm not happy about it. Not happy. Right. I would love to not look like Santa. Yeah. I'm stuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's what, this is what Santa looks like in Austria. And he looks terrifying, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, that'll get you in the Christmas spirit. Yeah. I mean, that's one of the scariest things I've ever seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Here's a picture with Krampus with kids in his little backpack. I mean, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I'm going to tuck them behind the fridge. You know, I'm just thinking something that's vert. Yeah. It'd be a certain height. Right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know. It's all just a bunch of exposed wires back there. I think it's probably pretty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's gross. Not really a fire hazard, but I'm just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to write Santa Claus letters when I was a kid, just put the North pole on the, and they figure it out. They get it there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is that? I type in Brian Bates and it comes up Brian Bates comedian and then Brian Bates wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian Bates born 1944 accurate so far is former chairman of psychology at the university of Sussex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Brian Bates is a private investigator serving the investigative needs of individuals and businesses in a professional.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thinks about that every day. I'm sure I would think about it all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quit and then you're just like, man, who cares? Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm guessing you just, you just call, just do surveys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they do any other, any other thing like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you working on these days? Well, I'm trying to actually bake in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think this is it. They, this is a picture of a electron microscope of, and it's got a picture of, I mean, I don't know what that looks like. It says season's greetings politically correct.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's good. Didn't want to offend anybody with the world's smallest Christmas card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does open. I don't know how you open it. You want to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is, it says it's 200 million times smaller than the stamp. It smashes the previous world record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's ten times smaller than the previous attempt. So people are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this is like an arms race to make the smallest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was your question? I was going to ask if they all, if they ever all line up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every planet? I don't think a few of them care for each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Dude, I don't want to be boggled about details. I went into the lab and I performed science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm saying why did that, she has other Christmas songs. Why don't people care about those? That's a good point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Sugar's very hard. It's not like you change it to something easier. You went the exact...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yell it at an airport and just see if anybody turns around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can choose. You can get, you can get a lady ship pack or lord ship pack. It's 50 bucks. That's not bad. That's not bad at all, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we spent 15 minutes on rolling the farter and then we were just like, and the crusades happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's just a solo pod this week. Just ranting. Just me going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'll actually be me going at Alan, like you were doing earlier. Alright Alan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a tough class. I failed it twice, so I technically I finished with a minor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I'm like, I'm literally one credit short of a major.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't know if you can just tap back in and like, I think I'm out, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody asked me about this recently. I don't know if you can just be like, Hey, can I just tap back in real quick? Was it your dad?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Maybe I could, I don't know. I don't know how much that would change my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I have zero credit. You have a little more than one credit to get. I have zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm wondering. I think to like to re-enroll, but I just want to tap back in real quick, take one class and then tap out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you'd get into teaching or you'd, you know, you'd be a writer or you'd go to law school. I mean, you can, you can do stuff with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think so. You can work for a think tank or something, but I don't know if they want some dude in there. I had a professor who I saw on campus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he would always ride his bike in a figure eight on the quad, and he'd smoke cigarettes and talk to himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The quad's just like the grass in between the buildings and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where they are. Yeah, it's just like a little courtyard area between buildings. Does everybody call it a quad? We call it a quad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's probably what the actual definition of it is. I guess I'd never thought about it before now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It makes no more sense than being a philosophy major.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, my dad was a theology major. I mean, it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I've heard of these words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you have? Do you have epistemology and metaphysics? I don't know. What are the other two?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know what all those words mean, but I don't know. I've never heard it broken down like that. Like there are four different types.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What does it mean? That's just how we come to know things, how we, knowledge, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Metaphysics is beyond, beyond physics. Meta just means beyond in a way. It's like, uh, metaphysics is talking about things that aren't necessarily in the physical world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, anything not, anything you can't put under a microscope and look at, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about like, uh, right and wrong? That would be a metaphysical thing maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've never heard that quote before, but I think that makes a lot of sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are all the smartest people who have ever lived, all these philosophers, I think. So, it's easy to look back at them now, knowing everything we know now about science and technology and stuff, and just think that they're ridiculous, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, you know, it wasn't until pretty recently that we made distinctions between all the sciences. So like when you hear that these guys are philosophers, they were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah, there's still a lot going on in the philosophical world.


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[Assistant] These are the building blocks of everything that we know. Of all society. These are like fundamental questions that people have been trying to answer for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, you gotta remember, these guys are starting with nothing. We have the benefit of thousands of years of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's try to figure everything out. We got nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, let's, let's do, I wanna talk about some of those, those paradoxes that I sent you. Okay. So, before all of the guys you've heard of, Aristotle, Plato, there's a guy named Parmenides, I don't know if I'm saying his name correctly, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's also the name of my World of Warcraft character for a while. Parmenides, he, the main thing he's known for is he believed that all motion and movement is impossible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anytime you think something is moving or something is changing, that's just an illusion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in order to get to that point, you would have to get it halfway to that point, a quarter of the way across the table. But before you get it there, you would have to get it halfway to that point, an eighth of the way across the table. You can keep doing that an infinite amount of times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Therefore, it is impossible for you to reach across the table and slap me in the face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's the paradox there because to get to any point, you have to first get halfway to that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it certainly looks as if you're doing that, but logically it's impossible for you to do it. Just test it out and see. Let's do an experiment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Uh-huh, but how, but logically, how, how can you explain that? Because you agree with the premises, right, of this, right, that to get to any point you have to get halfway there first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I'm saying it certainly looks like you're doing that, but logically it's impossible for you to do it. So this is all an illusion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Yeah, you just, well you zoom in a bunch and you just, you'd never get there eventually. You'd never get there if you just keep going halfway to the goal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what you want as your lawyer right there. Talk about that, I should be a lawyer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, obviously I agree with you, but that's, that's, that's just, that was, God, thousands of years ago, people, people were talking about that. So there's another one. He has another one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if you go outside in your backyard and you drop a grain of rice on the grass, that doesn't make a sound, right? You're not going to hear. But if you drop a thousand grains of rice on the grass, you will hear that. But how is that possible? Because it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A thousand zeros doesn't equal anything other than zero. So, that's all an illusion too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you have the benefit of all these guys' knowledge and you live now. Imagine being the first guy to even think about any of this stuff. Like, you know, pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you wouldn't see somebody's character put to the test like that in just a conversation at a restaurant, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, your 10th stroke. It's like, alright dude, relax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. His whole thing was about the goal of life is to live well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, just doin' all the right things. I mean, it sounds so-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think you've been on stage for more than 10,000 hours? I guess you start doing hours, then that starts to add up pretty quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they, they devoted their whole life to this. And they're also just by chance, like the smartest people ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These guys set up, Plato set up one of the first, the first institution of higher learning and they would just get all these dudes together.


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[Assistant] And just be like let's just figure stuff out. Let's just sit around and think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, these are all ancient Greeks. These three, Aristotle, Plato and Socrates, Socrates. Yeah. They all taught each other too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Socrates was first, and I believe he taught Plato, and then Plato taught Aristotle. And Aristotle briefly taught Alexander the Great.


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[Assistant] That's the dude, that's the stuff I really like about Aristotle of just the question of like, what is stuff like this table? All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A table. What are some of the properties of this table? It's made out of wood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? To wooden table? Yeaah. So if it were not made out of wood, if this were steel, would it still be a table? Yeaah. Okay, so it's not the woodenness that makes this a table. Yeaah. What, tomorrow, is this still going to be a table?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not a function of time, right? It's not a function of time that makes this a table. And what if we pick this up and move this in the other room? It would still be a table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well they were doing weird stuff back then, so I don't want to. There's a lot going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The point is that, uh, the, the, the essence of this is, is a table. Aristotle would say that it has the essence of a table and all these other things are just, he called them accidental properties of it. This is like revolutionary stuff at the time. They're like, what is a thing? Is it just a collection of all these different properties? Or is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean there's debate about, about what, what's the right way to think about stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, well what, yeaah, well exactly. Exactly. Big questions, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think they just, you know, Plato had these symposiums where they would just, they'd just sit around and just lively discussion. They'd just talk like this. That's like their whole existence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, Play-Doh was before, it was like the, Aristotle was like the generation after Play-Doh. They taught each other. Then Socrates was first. Yeah, Socrates was the first guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if Socrates ever met Aristotle, but definitely. So their connection to them. They were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would live till like their forties. I think Plato lived till he was 80, but like Aristotle lived till he was like in his forties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll get Alexander the Great, briefly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but the fact that the chain ended right there, and there was no famous philosopher after him. But he also inspired, I mean, thousands of years of philosophers all talked about Aristotle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, I can't remember them off the top of my head. Uh, the first, the first mover, that's the first one. These are, these are like logical proofs or arguments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First mover would be, for anything to be set in motion, it has to be set in motion by something else, right? And then that thing must have been set in motion by someone else. And then you trace that all the way back to infinity, eventually there has to be something that moves something without being moved by somebody else. The first mover. And then that's God. That's one of the arts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, that's that, yeaah, that's, that's ultimately what it is. Yeaah. Yeaah, well who, who did the first thing? Right. Something that didn't need to be moved by something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my editorialization of it, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to hear what you think is a more famous quote than Cogito ergo sum, I think therefore I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, I can't think of a more, I would say maybe one, one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. I can't think of another quote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeah, that's up there, I guess, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Renee Descartes, he, he wrote these series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they're called meditations and he just set out to, what do I know for sure? What do I know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is real. It's like those infomercials where you're like, forget everything you know about mattresses, you know, or whatever. He was like, forget everything I know about everything. Let's start all the way over. So let's just remove everything I think is real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then what can I build back piece by piece? So eventually he got all the way down to how do I know that I am a real thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's trying to anticipate every rebuttal to this. He's like, what if it's a demon deceiving me? Uh, but eventually he concludes like the fact that I'm here asking this question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Means that I definitely exist, because there's a doubter, there's a, there's a questioner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, I think therefore I am. That's where it comes from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of them didn't make a lot of money, but I think back then a lot of these guys were like, subsidized by...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever kingdom they lived in or whatever, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think they were, they were teachers too, so they could, they could make some money doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, Descartes doesn't sound like a fun dude to hang out with, you know, cause he's just doubting everything. Like how do we know that that's real?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I don't know how much these didn't feel like normal guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like they were more like the professor I had riding his bike in a figure eight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just so burdened by, they're so smart that it's like debilitating, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you, don't you have an open mic where you're like, they're a crazy person. Like this is like so close to being genius. It's like right there. If they just tweaked something, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was crazy, man. He believed in something called substance monism, which is, which means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, which means there's only one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you had to guess how many different things there are in the universe, what would you, what would you guess?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. He thinks all of, all of, there's only one thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're just, uh, not side effects, but yeaah. God, the language is so tricky with some of this stuff. I can't remember if it's modes or attributes, but we're all just, if you think like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you think God, God by definition is something that's all over and everywhere,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then how can there be something that's not part, not part of them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? If he's everywhere and in everything, then, then is he in this cup?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good point. Cause a lot of this is just like, we just know this from letters to each other where they're arguing about it. They're not like, these aren't famous, like let's go out and the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The town square and everybody's like, man, these guys are super interesting because they're not really a lot of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's everything. I mean, we're benefiting from all of this stuff having been argued and discussed because we have thousands of years of people figure, but like laws and concepts and definitions and what are things and how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That this is, they're all figuring this out before anybody was able to. That's all it is. So understanding like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The building blocks of, of civilization really, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you're good, actually, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's uh, yeah. Okay. It's a rule to live by.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause he said that God was just an explanation for things that we couldn't understand as a society. We just said, oh, that's God. And he said, now we know enough that we no longer need that, so God is dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. This is late 1800s, this guy lived. Okay. So in 1900, God said, Nietzsche is dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought that was Kanye. Nietzsche said that? Yep. You really thought it was Kanye?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What doesn't kill you makes- Oh man, maybe it is Katy Perry. I thought- Kanye had a song that was like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Working better, better, stronger, weaker, better. You know what I'm talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you saw a bunch of different furniture, you could group all the tables together, right? Even though they all look differently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, what are, what is the con- what is tableness then?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but, but what, what, what are the similarities between all the tables? How do you know they're all the same kind of thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I would have blown his world up. Yeaah dude. I would have blown his... I would have loved to see you go toe to toe with Aristotle. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That just sounds like a problem. I mean, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. To just have an angle that nobody else is taking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the broad, I've heard you talk about just using words that nobody else is using.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saying things in a way, but saying things in a way that other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I've heard you say that because you're clean, that forces you to use words that a dirty comedian or the guy that curses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're actually using a, a fewer words than, than you would use because you're having to use different words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just, it's great, but it's also not true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Assuming you believe in, assuming you believe in free will, which a lot of people don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, there's a clip from an old podcast where you were like, listen, this is interesting, but how many people are listening?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do they actually have freedom though? They don't have, they don't have rational minds. They're just reacting to stimuli and just, they're like machines, dude. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm, but I'm not just unique because of the way I look. I think differently. I have a unique identity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But is the, is the argument that if everybody looked the same, then you'd, you'd differentiate people based on what they believe and how they think and you know, the content of the character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think if the three of us came in looking the exact same one day, they'd be able to tell who we were?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah? Yeah. So all you do, you don't, you don't do anything other than words?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is like the categorical imperative. How do you decide if something's right or wrong?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you have to imagine if everybody in the world did that thing. That's how you know if something's right or wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it depends on what you do. If I punch you in the face, do I want everybody in the world to go around punching everybody in the face?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I met the grand old Opry this weekend on the 10th, April 10th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, what is silver surfer? What does that even mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why I wasn't sure if they meant me by beefy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How old before you start shoveling snow as a, as a job?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Opens up like a life raft and it's just a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not really man, that was just such a special moment for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You speak any other languages? Uh, a little bit of Greek, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen Cool Runnings. I didn't know he was the. Alright. I've seen a John Candy movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, they were like a couple weeks at most. Yea, I mean New York, their kids hate me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wanna guess how much that is now? Twenty-four dollars. Twenty-four dollars and sixteen hikes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did you guys feel on stage that night, a few hours later, performing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you mentioned St. Patrick's Day last week is Santa Claus, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was just pointing out that we pointed, we just said last week that we thought our parents, that was their tradition of Christmas Eve and you kind of ridiculed us for it, but now it sounds out your parent also did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can look it up, but she got to her second one, couldn't quite finish her second one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In your defense, someone else commented on that and said it would be 50% chance, but there was two winners, so it would be more than 50. It would be more than 50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Paul has commented on every show, and uh, I appreciate all his comments, and this was a very good one. I'd miss this, but yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, there's a, uh, elephant sanctuary here, down in Hollandwald, and they take people's used Christmas trees, real trees, not artificial, because the elephants eat it. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 60 Minutes did a piece on a guy, some billionaire who was buying up zoos, just so he could take the animals and put them back in the wild. Most of them, they don't make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, last week you said, we're debating which ones, the exhibits you go see, like the snakes or whatever. You go, uh, if I go alone, I might. A few people are like, you're going to the zoo alone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this week, because we released Christmas and Krispy Kreme challenge, we got about 400 total.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or it's just a car hop, car hops the curve and you're in line. It's going to take people out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron texted me, and I posted this, but he was like, hey, nobody's hurt, but a truck just ran through the wall in his 80s. And I was like, whose mural was it? Please tell me it was Nate's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just remember when I was growing up in high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, close to it. Yep. The guy I know still lives there and I immediately texted him and he said he was actually up already that morning. Feltage heard it obviously, shook the building pretty bad, but, and then he saw the smoke. And you have some damage on your... Not his unit specifically, but the building itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has some structural damage, and it's about a mile away from the blast site.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mom's friend said she heard it in Mount Juliet. My mom told me this Christmas day and I ridiculed her friend. I'm like, mom, that is the crazy, like, there was no way I thought that was true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was playing Downtown, the song Downtown, by Petula Clark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that one I'm not sure about. It was in between Lebanon and Murfreesboro, the community of Walter Hill, Rutherford County.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a box truck that I guess they said was playing the same song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some years are worse than others. 2020 was definitely a worse year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I was reading about this, some stuff surprised me. Most people would say the world's getting, uh, be worse, a worse place to live in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The prevailing thought is, the world's getting a much better place, but we have so much more access now to media. Social media, TV media, all of it, that we know so much more about the bad stuff happening. It's not that it's worse, it's actually getting much better, but we just hear about the bad stuff so much more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was worse. As a secular year, that's not like other years. What do you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The number of people around the world living in extreme poverty, which is recognized as less than $2 a day, goes down by 217,000 people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not out of 10 Americans polled said that global poverty is worsening, but instead over the last 40 years the world has seen the greatest poverty reduction in human history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 1981, 42% of the world lived on less than $1.90 a day. Uhm, now it's less than 10% who do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but by the time this podcast comes out in a couple days, it could be a totally new theory on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, according to the World Bank, around 88 million people were thrown back into extreme poverty this year because of the pandemic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, kinda along those lines. In 1961, food supply in 54 out of 183.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Countries was less than needed. Uhm, but now that's only true in two countries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So world famine has greatly been reduced. We're getting fatter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We thrive. Life expectancy has greatly increased, but United States, because of what you just said, we've slightly ticked down, but we're one of the few countries


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's not so much that because everyone was dying at that age, so many people died early, like as a child, that it set the average down. If you got to a certain age, you can live to be 50 or 60. But so many people died in child childhood that it put the averages way down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in the year 1800, so 220 years ago, 43% of the world's children didn't make it past the age of five. Wow. It's almost half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It says by seabirds and fish. Wow. That's a tough life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you're Michael Scott, he's Pam. Pam, look up how long animals survive. She just makes up some numbers to tell them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sent Aaron a bunch of grass for today's show that I thought might be helpful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so that shows what the life expectancy was in 1770.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, yeah, depending on which country you lived in, it was around 28 to 35. And now in most


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Developed countries, it's anywhere from 60 to up to 80 in Europe, 60 in Africa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was later in the 1920s. I don't know, Aaron. That's a good question. You remember going to your first, you remember whether it's being put up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Smallpox, which last week you said instead of making the world smallest Christmas card, this guy should be working on smallpox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But life expectancy as you see has went way up, uh, since the 1920s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. In Africa, the life expectancy's went up 10 years just in the last decade. That's... In where? In Africa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they are making progress. In the United States, the cancer death rate fell by 25% from 1990 to 2014, saving the lives of 2.1 million people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, vaccinations. 86% of all one-year-olds in the world now have been vaccinated against diphtheria, tetanus, and whooping cough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the child mortality rate and how it's, it's dropped drastically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a good one though. People were having way too many children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone thinks the world's global population, we're going to be way overpopulated. But according to UN research, it's going to stay, it's going to level off. And by the end of the century, we're going to be at 11 billion, which sounds like a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, but it's not gonna, we're not gonna be overpopulated like a lot of people think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, everyday 325,000 more people gain access to electricity. Wow. It's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was overrated. Uh, 300, every day 300,000 more people gaining access to clean drinking water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the worst year ever. It's actually, according to these statistics, the fourth best year ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The three best years were 2017, 2018, and 2019. In terms of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Violence is way down, conflicts are on the decline. I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That shows there's been two major countries fighting with each other almost every year since the 1500s, but none of that's going on now for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's how it spread so quickly. One, because there's soldiers all over the world. And then when they came home, it, it ticked up again. Well, it was hard to tell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they don't even know where it originated from, but it was called the Spanish flu because Spain was not in World War I. They were neutral. So their news, all they were doing was reporting on the flu. So everybody was like, God, at least Spain is just, it's terrible over there. Where the countries involved in war said they were censoring their news to make it more positive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they weren't sharing all this information. So it got called Spanish flu just because they were being more honest about what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first reported case was in the US, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, back then in 1918, medical professionals advised patients to take up to 30 grams a day of aspirin, a dose now known to be toxic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This says many of the deaths attributed to Spanish flu were actually caused by aspirin poisoning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, people are working fewer hours. Uhm, 31 of the richest countries in the world says 14% decline in hours worked per week per worker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, people have written books about it and they all get pushed back. A guy did a Ted Talk, people don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wasn't there a hair company that wanted to sponsor a podcast and wanted me to do a trial?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, education. Education is way up around the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there's more democracies in the world than ever before. Yeaah. And today about half of the human population is living in a democracy. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Violent crime has dropped dramatically, I think I already covered that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the United States, it's up this year, especially in cities. Overall, it's way down since 1990, like by 75% or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I'll do the last one here. Education, enrollment, all education levels way up around the world. It was 74% just making it through primary school in 1970. I didn't know that. I didn't either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All across all levels this went up. A half a century ago the majority of the world's people were illiterate. Now almost 90% of adults can read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one knew it was coming, not even basically you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome, we decided, if we're recording this today, my special, uh, is out right now, and uh, so this is what we're gonna come out tomorrow, 19th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and we just wanted to do one, uh, you know, just a thank you to everybody that's, I mean, people have already watched this special. Came out, you know, it comes out at 3 a.m. Eastern. And, uh, you already, I already got people to watched it. And which is nice. I mean, it's crazy. I mean, like sometimes people, it's like, well, if you're in Pacific time, it's midnight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's not that hard to, I was up to like 130 last night. Yeah. And so I use it, you know, it's two here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last time I saw it, this time I was like, I was pretty beat. And so I was like, I'm just going, it's, it's going to come on, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was so cool. I know. And I, I just had stuff today. So I had to do a bunch of stuff. So I had to get up, I mean, early, like, nah, I had to wake up at like 9, 15. Come on. That's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I knew that was coming. I woke up the day before, 7.30. I had to do morning radio yesterday, uh, or no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, no, after Rogan, after we did Rogan that morning, I had to do, so you have to do radio tours. And, uh, so it's where you call, a guy calls your phone and then you just sit and go to different stations. So I'm just on the phone and he's like, all right, we're going to go first. It's a rock station in Indianapolis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and tells me who they are. And then you go to it and you're just on the air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're live. Sometimes they're pre-taping them and sometimes they're live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then so you just click and you're on. They're like, what's with sitting here with a neighbor I got to see? He's got the greatest average American special. And then you just start talking to him, whatever. And, uh, and then you just, he's like, all right. And then when that one's done, he's like, all right, now we're going to Cincinnati. This is a country station city, you know, and then you're just on. And so you just do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The timing of it is like so scheduled that I mean, some of them, I would be mid sentence and he's like, I'm like talking, I'm still like, yeah, you know, the special is exciting. The guy's like, all right, we left that one. We're in the next radio. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I'm just, then it's like, yeah, I'm excited about the special. He's in another, talking to another place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, it was very funny how quick it, how quick it went. Uh, so yeaah, so we wanted to do, uh, just kind of a, since the special is out, kind of a special episode, uh, also the Nate Land live podcast taping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know if you know, but it is sold out. It is? It is sold out. Wow. Pretty crazy. Pretty crazy. Already sold out. Something that I know that I know that you guys do not know though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we're still figuring that show out. But I think it's go- I think it'll be good. I think it'll- I think it's gonna be comment heavy. I think it's gonna be kind of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'm hoping to get some live comments and all that kind of stuff and, uh, you know, and do something more for, uh, all the folks out there listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, what, yeah, so, the, the specials. So yes, I, uh, Promotant has been, uh, pretty wild. We did, I went to, uh, Austin, I did Rogan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which was the first time. I, you know, I've told the story about meeting Rogan here. So that was my only real experience with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe a couple of times here and there I've been around, you know, cause I'm friends with all his friends. Uh, but dude, he's the best. Just the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean a super like humble guy, you know, signed a giant Spotify deal, but just a real guy. Yeah. Comic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Loves comedy, loves being a comedian, and that's, which is my favorite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cause, you know, it's like guys that are true to like, no dude, we're just, we all just look at ourselves as like, we're just road comics. Some people get to get up to the top, some don't. It's like, but that's, we're all the same. We're all just bouncing around doing comedy on the road. And, uh, the, the, the show was awesome. That's such a giant show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was very cool. Then afterwards we went to him and Chappelle did a show at Stubbs barbecue. They do a show there. And, uh, I got to go to that and hang out and watch it. And so, uh, you got to see Chappelle and it was in Michelle Wolf was there. So I'm friends with Michelle. And so we just hung out back there and, uh, hung out all night and they hung out till, I mean, until like one, that's when I slept, got no sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then woke up the next morning to that radio thing. I woke up, weirdly I woke up at 4.45 that morning and I was, I was so confused. Like I was thinking I had to be up at 7.45, uh, Eastern and I was thinking I was in Pacific time and I was, and I was like, I guess I gotta get up now. Cause I gotta, cause I gotta do the radio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, I'm just like looking at the clock and I'm just confused. And then I, but then man, when I found out I have three more hours of sleep, that was not much better than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And, and no, and not like just, oh, 10 more minutes. I mean. Three more hours. Three more hours. You're like, oof. That was nice. Yeah. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, the whole, the whole Rogan experience, I mean, it's funny as I've got, I mean, I've got a lot of texts about it, like, what's Rogan like, what's Rogan, you know, it's like, because I'm, I was with, I'm like, everybody else, you don't know, I don't really know, know the guy that well, but I mean, he's, he's just a great dude, man, like he was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, not that I would tell you if he wasn't, but I wouldn't be saying that he, I would just be like, had a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's that good of a guy. And Yanis told me, which we had Yanis here, Yanis said that, he's like, dude, he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like a, just a sweetheart dude. That's just what he is, you know, and, uh, he's roots for comics. And that's what I love. Someone to get that high up and to help out comics is, is, is a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, not that I, I mean Conan, if you do Conan's thing, I think it's pretty big. Yeaah. But, I don't think there's anything like Rogan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's just so different. And it's, uh, I mean, dude, I mean, if he's in the Smithsonian, like, couldn't you be in that? Don't they do TV stuff in there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they have like the Cosby chair, the, yeah, they have the, uh, Seinfeld puffy shirt. Yeah. Seinfeld puffy shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Archie Bunker. Archie Bunker. His like lazy boy that he's in. I feel like Cosby has a sweater in there. He always wears a crazy sweater. Yeah, Archie Bunker had a chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Cosby one, they all just, I just pictured them hauling that back out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if they hauled, if they got a sweater out. They probably did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, yeah, but yeah, I don't know. I mean, Rogan's gotta be, I mean, it's, it's the top man. I mean, it's, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he's made people. Yeah. And so that's, I think that's the sign of if you're making careers and he has done that, which is insane, you know, to be that, that big of a thing. Uh, so, uh, yeah, so the special, so, I mean, this, this episode we're, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not going to be, uh, the longest one. We just kind of wanted to get on and, uh, eh, I wanted to thank everybody for watching and all that stuff. Uh, and then, but it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to talk about specials or any of, you know, the, the world around that. You know, you get asked a lot of stuff about it. I get asked a lot about the, is it, can they watch it versus to come see me? Is it going to be different? And I know we've addressed that a bunch, but again, do whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm hoping by the time the theater tour starts, I'll be an hour new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I got 25, 30 minutes new now. If you come see me at one of the comedy clubs coming up, I think I'll have half new and then half probably not new. Uh, but you never know, maybe I'll get a nice 20 minute chunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what you're, that's what you're looking for. Just a nice run like that. What do we have on specials?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I remember the, yeah, mine is, uh, Sinbad Afros and Bill Bottoms. Oh wow. And so I remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't, I don't know if I remember that well. Uh, it was, uh, I remember Emmy wore, I want to say purple pants or something or a purple jumpsuit, something like that. And I remember watching it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he was a clean comedian, so we were allowed to watch him. And I just remember ordering McDonald's, like someone sitting at the McDonald's menu, not knowing what, uh, uh, how to order McDonald's and he was just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like it's insane not to know what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is Africa. That's the outfit. What a power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It fits him. I mean, it's kinda perfect. It's, uh, it looks good. For a sec, crazy of an outfit too, it does look good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still think it looks good right now. You know what I mean? Like sometimes you look at these outfits and they don't stand the test of time. Some don't hold up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? They have jumpsuits. But Santa Claus has, it's a two piece.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want a two, you can't have a two piece dude. Like he's, uh, I don't know. Did you have any wardrobe issues this one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did not have any wardrobe issues. My hair's got a kind of a weird thing. I don't know if you might even notice it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it, uh, my, I had a, when they fixed my hair, I just had the front of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was kind of the issue. I had to, so the hoodie that I'm wearing in it, I had to buy that morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went, because I had a shirt, just a t-shirt I was going to wear with that, with my jacket. And I mean, when we went and looked at it the night before, it was like 56 degrees. And I was like, I think I'm going to be too cold. Like I don't want to be cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you do this shivering, you know, like those drives, some of those driving dates were just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you were shivering and it was freezing. And so, and in 56 degrees is not the coldest, but standing for an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just don't want to be tense. You don't want to be, you know, I needed to try to be as relaxed as possible. And I went that morning and bought that hoodie. So then that was the quickest I've ever bought something that. Yeah, well, that's a wardrobe issue. Yeah, that is. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, it's a wardrobe, but there was no, yeah, nothing like there's a hole in something, but it was, yeah, that was a little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember my shoes. Yea, yea, we've talked about that, right? Yea, Tennessee Kid. Tennessee Kid. Shoes got put in a cab. It cost more for the shoes to get there than it did me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, I, uh, I haven't watched it like on Netflix yet, but I've watched it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the people that have watched it, you know, you're always very nice that you have a lot of people that will watch it right when it comes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, they were all very nice and they loved it. And you know, I mean, that's, that's all you want. You just want, you hope people just really laugh and have fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it is what it is. I don't, you know. It's hard. It's exciting when it comes out. It's crazy that it's here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially just with what we've had leading up to it to go from, I didn't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A year ago. I mean, it's crazy, dude. One year ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be doing theaters. This podcast does not exist. We're doing theaters and I'm going to tape a special where everything's going to be normal to then now what all, you know, this podcast, we did a bunch of drive-in dates. We did shoot a special and the special was the only thing that was really planned that actually still came and came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just to have to do stuff outside and, uh, not be able to really hear crowds. I mean, it was, you know, three months of really not being able to hear the crowd outside of like doing some zany shows. You just, you know, and like, and it's, and that's almost the way you can trust it because you would do the zany shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they'd be half capacity, but you're at least here, I can hear the laughs and you, and then you got to take that to the special taping and to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even, and we did those driving shows, so when you're telling these jokes, just trust, like, these, I think they're doing good. They've done good other places. So as long as I deliver them the right way, they do good now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, I, I don't want it to be where it's like no one watches it ever again cause it's like feels too timely. Uh, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did capture that. A with, I mean they had masks on. We were trying, I was like saying, and they, and the director, uh, he was saying, we didn't want it to be Troy Miller as the director. He, he, he was like, we don't want it to be like too masky, like showing too many masks or too...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too much like COVID, right? Like this is a COVID special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the helicopters also captured that. I'll be interested to see what people think of it. Helicopters is the thing that I want to see what people think about. Just because it was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you haven't watched it yet, and I mean, you're, you know, you're C, but it's like, that was not planned at all. There's not even like a thought about that being a worry until it happened. And then it happened a bunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For people that have either watched it or they're about to watch it and not give anything away. But we did find out the reason there's only helicopters is there's a police chase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Near the Universal Studios where we filmed it. And so there was a police chase going on and that ended up being why there was so many kind of flying over throughout the show. Cause I think there was even a little bit more than we put in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we put in just, I think like four times or something like that.


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[Assistant] I agree that I, I remember watching that one and I remember when he talked about riding, uh, the Sea-Doo and, uh, the Wave Runner and getting stuck behind it. And then, and, uh, when I saw that joke, uh, the week before I had that same problem with a Wave Runner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so man, that, I, it hit me hard. Like I laughed so hard. Just cause it was, it was such, it just happened to me. I went with my buddy, John Paul, like, and it just happened with that. I just had trouble with this and he just described it perfectly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't want, he will take his own car. That's what you do. That's what we throw, we just throw Brian in his own car.


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[Assistant] I, uh, I did, uh, I like the idea of, like, I live, like, live my life like that. I know in comedy we're not doing that, but I, I go in, every business I go into, you're just trying not to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not to be a bother, not to be, you want to be just the most normal experience that they've ever had. And there's, and they don't, you know, they go, yeah, they were very nice. Oh yeah. And they don't really remember you and you just get in and get out. That's the best. That's the best way. What was your first special? Andy Griffith?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Andy, uh, I don't know if people know, do people know Andy Griffith was a comedian? There could be a lot, did you know that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had a joke about watching football for the first time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, uh, it actually might've been like he went to a game and just having to explain to him. And, uh, I've listened to some of his stand-up. They played on, they played on like serious. You'd be able to listen to some of his stand-up. I would say your first special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, uh, I mean, would it have been Eddie Murphy role? I mean, you would have been, is that what it is? Oh wow.


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[Assistant] I wish they would do that. Kevin Hart had his do that. I like that idea.


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[Assistant] Kings of Comedy, what's so good about that special is, I mean, is all of it, but Bernie Mac. Bernie Mac was a killer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ain't scared of you. I ain't scared of you. If, if, yeah, it's, I mean, it's, yeah, obviously it's a little dirty if, if, if that, if that's your thing, if you are, if you, if it bothers you or doesn't bother you, but it's, uh, it's a very famous, like as comedians know,


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[Assistant] You know, it's like that dude, that's like describes comedy. Like that's like him doing that is representing every comedian to every audience. And not the great audience, but like rough audiences where it's him up there, I ain't scared of you. Like, you know, just keep saying that. Cause isn't it, supposedly everybody was bombing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it is, like the confidence and the control. Cause he's not, I mean, he's been killing forever at that point, but no one really knows who he is. But he's been in clubs and everybody that everybody that knows him knows this dude's a killer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he does that. And then it's kings of comedy. I mean, he goes on at the end of that. Uh, I mean, that one's unreal. Uh, and someone else was like, who, uh, it was Cedric Cedric Cedric was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he does, when he backs the car up and stuff like that. I mean, that's such a show. Steve Harvey's got great, I mean, everybody's great in that one. And then, uh, DL. Steve Harvey, when he calls out that guy in the front, I mean, it's unbelievable. It's in an arena.


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[Assistant] I mean, just, I love like how, that's such a big audience in that special. And like for them to capture that, that is, it shouldn't work in the room that big, you know? It shouldn't. It just does. That energy is just too, they're just that big an axe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their energy is so big and it just works in that, in that arena that they were in. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the first show was bad and then the second show they did again and he like, and it became what it became. I mean, the other famous bombing one of some of the bomb was, uh, uh, Mitch Hedberg. Mitch Hedberg is like Comedy Central Presents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's kind of become famous but that, it's him not doing good.


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[Assistant] Like it was not good and then he sat down and it was almost like it came together.


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[Assistant] And it's crazy just to be in that moment and you know, you got that feeling of probably something not going good and then it becomes this legendary special.


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[Assistant] That's, is there, what is, do you have the first stand up special? Yeah. What's the first stand? I don't even know what would be the first. I mean, George Carlin or Bill Cosby, uh. Mark Twain. Do you record any of his?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, can you imagine, I mean, he's a lot. Like, so the first, that's, that's how young standup comedy is kind of what it is now is that Robert Klein is alive. I mean, he's, you know, I mean, he's probably 70 or something. At least, I mean, that's less than 50 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, such a big deal for me. And so, and there's people at Netflix that, what I love about Netflix and what I love is the people that have done this, my, any, everything I've done, uh, is you, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, uh, work with these people over this long period of time. And, uh, Grigioni, uh, is over there. She was a producer. She works with Netflix.


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[Assistant] And uh, they, and she, she's been with me, I've done, she's not with me, she's just been, I've just, she's worked at Comedy Central and Netflix, but since my first appearance live at the Goth, live at Gotham.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so she's done all of them, to the Presents, to the County Central Special, the Hour Special, and then now she's at Netflix. And I mean, it's, it's pretty wild, like that you're just with these, you know, she's been in every single one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, Robbie Prawl, who's also at Netflix, he was at Montreal.


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[Assistant] Uh, just for last festival. And so, like, you end up working with these people, and he did new faces. I did new faces with him. That was 2008.


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[Assistant] And now it's 2021 and we just did our second Netflix special. And he was, and he's, I mean, he's the reason he asked me to do the standups. He came to me, he went to Netflix and he goes, Hey, we want to do, uh, the standups. We want to do like a half hour thing. And I was like, I don't know, man. I just did an hour economy central special and Netflix is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think Segura's on there, I know Netflix is big, it's big, it's not.


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[Assistant] It's about to be Netflix, Netflix, but it's like, he's like, we're doing this thing where I want to get like six comics. I'm going to do like a half hour and I want you to do it. And I was like, I don't know, dude, I just did an hour. Like I don't want to go back to a half hour. Like it takes forever to get to it to be able to do an hour on TV. Now I got to go back to a half hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was like, I think it would be good. And I remember just talking to her and talking, uh, talking, you know, me and Brian went and had dinner. I broke it down to him and gave me the worst advice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, but I remember talking to my managers and agents at the time, or I don't know if I had agents at the time, but my managers and, uh, talking to them and just like being like, I've, you know, then realizing like, look, I think it's bet, I think it's better to do it.


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[Assistant] Because, it's, I think Netflix is gonna be, just to get in that family.


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[Assistant] And you want to be in that Netflix family. And it was like, I should do it. And then, I mean, the rest is, it's we're here where we're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Michelle Wolf was supposed to do it too, and she did her own HBO special, which I think she's going back. She did another Netflix special, right? I think so, yeaah. And then, uh, but I remember Michelle going to do the, and I was like, I don't think, I was like, I feel like she should do this half hour. Cause I was doing it and I was like, I think, in the half hour, I think she would have destroyed it and done great, whatever. But her HBO special was so great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she obviously made the right decision to do what she did. And then she went back to Netflix after that. Soder has an HBO special. And it seems like HBO, Netflix are the two top. One, I mean, no one's, Netflix is the, I just don't think anybody's touching Netflix right now. Where it's, Netflix has made it where people know stand up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one, we're not having to do TV shows. I mean look, I wanna make a TV show. I'm still gonna try to make a TV show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's nice to be like, I don't know, if it doesn't happen, you just keep putting your specials out. I mean, hopefully Netflix keeps letting you, but if they do, you just keep writing new hours and putting specials out. That's what's, you know, you get to be a comedian. We get to be a stand-up comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the older guys had to do Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Kevin James. All those guys had to do TV shows. George Carlin, I mean, he was known as the stand-up his whole time, but he had to do a bunch of movies too. A lot of stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean, it's, yeaah, I don't know. Netflix is, obviously I'm there. I'm on it. It's on right now. But I, I, they're just, they're just so gigantic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drybar is great. Drybar is great. It's the future of standup. Uh, if you want to check out, uh, Brian Bates as a Drybar. Yep. It's special. Drybar is great. Drybar's got huge clips. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, a lot of people see it. I mean, now people are doing internet stuff. They're doing YouTube. They're doing, you know, we had Mark Norman, uh, Sam Real, Joe List. A lot of people were putting out stuff on YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's, it's tough to get in, like Netflix, Netflix is tough. It's, it's tough to get in there. They have a lot of comics. They got a, you know, once you can, you kind of build your audience in Netflix and so you kind of stay in and you hopefully do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And keep doing more. Not that they don't add new people, but it is tough. I mean, it's tough to get stuff. And a lot of it's just timing, man. It's like, when do you get in? I was lucky enough to be farther, farther, farther along in comedy to even get a chance to do that half hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That then led to all that, all this where it's like, I've got to do more from there. And the Netflix thing did really good. I mean, it's everybody watching is the reason I got to keep doing more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the first weekend where you're, I was, I was like, oh, have y'all heard these jokes? And they said yes.


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[Assistant] Now you kind of know. Everybody's asking, should I watch special? People come and they know. But yeaah, it's a crazy time in your career.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, cause that's all you ever want man, when you're a comic is like, you want people to be like, you want them to know who you are. And they're there to see you. And I remember, you know, you, you, you saw comics, you saw,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Burr, Louis C.K., or, you know, any of these big comics. I mean, Chris Rock would go on stage with his notebook and, you know, stuff. And they were having to do their new stuff because people were coming to like, they gotta have a new act. And so they would always say, well, once I'm done with the special, then I retire that act.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, it's always funny too, cause you always say, younger comics say that, where you're like, don't worry about it, dude. Like, you know, you put an album out, you're like, keep doing this stuff. I mean, yelled at by a clown, I did some of that stuff on Comedy Central.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you can. Your, your, and your fans that find you at that point, like on your CD, they know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they're growing with you. Do they, they get in so early as being a fan of you that they realize like, you're like, yeah, I gotta go. Like if you had to go, if Comedy Central or Netflix said, do a special tomorrow, you're going to put, do your album. What you just did on your album, you're going to go put on that special. And everybody that watched that album, they, they're, those people are,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you see it where people, they're commenting like, yeah dude, he got a, a bigger thing.


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[Assistant] He's gotta, that's what, they know what comics do, like this is how it works. I always get it with YouTube comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause people are like, I feel like it's the same act on all these YouTube clips. Like yea dude, cause when I was coming up, YouTube was new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you were putting everything on YouTube because you just were, you know, you would hear about the word viral and you're like just trying to make something go viral.


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[Assistant] And so like, I mean, you have the same jokes just on different comedy clubs. And so then now people are like, why are you all the clips the same? You're like, dude, that was 10 years ago, 15 years ago. I don't, what do you want me to do? I don't even own, I don't have, I don't, I don't have control over those clips. They're all posted by someone else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're not like on my YouTube page. Most of my YouTube old stand up clips are posted from somewhere else. Like I would have to ask that person to take them down. And then it's, it's like, you can't, you can't just get it taken down. You have to be a lot more careful now. Like now I'm realizing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to, I have to be, you have to be so much more careful to your state, your material. You just get way more protective over it. And you, and you have to be like, are y'all, we're not filming, right? It's not going to go out anywhere because you don't want it to go out because.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, you get a, you know, that's the hard part now even about doing a tonight show is like, you know, it's five minutes and then it's usually a really good fight. You pick a good five minutes and then, so, you know, my tonight show, those jokes are on the Netflix special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so then people see it and you just want to be like, I just, I want like the next festival, like I don't want any of that stuff to be like, it's not on anything. And so then when people watch it, it is zero to 60 minutes of, I've no one's ever seen, unless you went to a live show, nobody has seen any of this material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I, that's what I want for my next one. I don't know if it'll happen. Tonight Show asked me to do it again. I'm like, alright, I'll do it. Like, you know, I would love to do Tonight Show again, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember I was at, uh, in Raleigh, Raleigh, North Carolina, uh, Charlie Goodnights.


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[Assistant] Uh, great comedy club, kind of a famous comedy club, comedians love. Uh, I think Helium owns it now. And they, uh, I remember being there and I, I was asking that weekend because that's the special that aired the same night at the Mayweather Pac-Yall fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I asked people in the audience, I was like, Hey, did y'all watch this special? And I remember they, you know, I, there was like five people that said yes. So I could do all those jokes. I mean, they, no one was, no one was there to see it. And so it was like, I could do it. I mean, you know, I remember wanting to build a new act. I knew I needed to get a new act. I just had an hour special, but that was, that was the thing that was hard to come essential. They.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they, they, they would air the special twice and then I don't know if it ever, they ever aired it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you were, I mean, maybe someone, someone they can buy, you could buy it on iTunes right now if you wanted to buy it. But it just sits there. That was kinda central.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, you know, I don't, whatever their system is, I don't know, but it's like, how do you not, they had everybody, dude. Those Comedy Central presents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're enormous. And that's where so many people watch this stuff. Dane Cook, Headberg, you, you saw all these Dane Cooks was the one that blew up. Nick Schwartzen, Adam Sandler saw Nick Schwartzen's half hour and called him and now Nick Schwartzen is works with Adam Sandler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he saw a special and like talked to him and was like, man, I loved it. And then that's how their relationship kind of began. Uh, and so you would see, I remember the conversation, you would see them all, everybody got to pick their backdrop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, so you got to really decorate your stage. That was a big deal. I was the first year they didn't do that because the whole, when you're coming up, you're going, what do you go, what would you do for your conversation? Especially you're like, Oh, you're going to put like a barn door behind you or, you know, you're going to Decker, like Ted Alexander had a basketball goal on some trash cans. Like, and that's his, that was his backdrop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, and so I was like, ah, I don't know what I'm gonna do. And I remember they just go, we're not doing that anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just put our names behind it, which honestly was better, just to have your name sitting, uh, sitting behind you. That was right. Cause you don't get a, you don't, you're not in control of editing those specials. Like at the half hour on Common Central. So right when you get done, you, I did it with me and Chelsea Peretti tape the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Breaking Bad, when he gets shot in the gun, he goes, do what you're going to do. Right before you get Hank. Just do what you're going to do. He's already made his decision 10 seconds ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think that was on something else and they bought it. Oh, maybe that's why. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where, cause that was a big thing too, was you wanted to try to get, like Mulaney has new in town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe was a Comedy Central special and then Netflix bought it. Maybe that's the difference. Because that's what you'd want to do. That's what I want to do with Full Time Magic. I would love if I could ever get it off Comedy Central and have it put on Netflix. Uh, but they don't, Comedy Central and Netflix, I mean at one point we're not getting along.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they were just doing comedy and Netflix got such known as a stand-up place that they're just, I mean, they're losing all their comics to Netflix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which I think standups are 2017 is when I did that. Okay. I believe so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause 17, 19, 21, I think I've done every two years. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, yeah, I mean, who knows, they're probably just filling out what the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What works, what happens. I mean, they've become so big now. I mean, and you can see that now, like I've watched, uh, The Crew with Kevin James. Uh, it's great. He's worked at NASCAR. It's a great show. And it, but it's like an Everybody Loves Raymond type King of Queens type kind of sitcom where they're starting to figure that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like that's gonna be where Netflix becomes a problem. Like once they start getting where you're like, you're just going to Netflix and you're like, oh, let's watch this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, sitcom, like those funny sitcoms are what I think make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Networks almost, like that, the comedy sitcoms are just really good. They have so many documentaries and all that kind of stuff. But you gotta, you gotta get the casual, like, look I'm not trying to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, I want to eat dinner. I want to watch a fun sitcom. Me and Lars are watching The Crew and The Crew's great. The cast is great. It's very funny. Uh, and that's, so I, I feel like they're fluffy. Uh, he's, he's got a, uh, a sitcom on there and they, so they're, they're starting to get into that multicam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or a little later to Netflix. I mean, I was later to Netflix, like even getting it. I mean, I think, I don't think I had it when I did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's a pat. I mean, Schultz just did Netflix, you know, cause, uh, I mean, he was the one that, cause he made fun of himself cause he said Netflix is over and then he's doing a Netflix thing. But, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the, you know, are, do they have live shows on Netflix? Like, are, are that kind of like weekly? You know, like John Oliver's like weekly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like if they get that too, like that, that kind of aspect to it, I mean, they're going to end up becoming like, they are like TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they just, I mean they're there, but like once they start figuring that kind of stuff out, then you're just, you're the television. Netflix is the word for TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that too. I, I, I, and they've done it. They're doing that with some shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Like, so you, you, you make it where, you know, water cooler talk or people don't really get around. What does he say? Water fountain anymore. Water cooler. Water cooler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, is that what? Oh, you're talking about? Costanza says, and they go, we look, we, we call it a water cooler show. He's like, oh, that's interesting because people don't really talk, you know, water fountains anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, comedian Drew Michael did a special, no audience. It was just him talking. It was a one man show and it was on HBO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always think sometimes you don't want to get too cute with things. You don't want to get, you know, it's like do what it is. You know, not saying that he should, he can try that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, try it. Look, if you, if it works, you could be the guy that changes everything. But I, you know, it's like just, I like doing stand up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the oldest format of the way that I know it as stand up comedy. And you go up there and you tell your jokes and then you're like, all right, there you go. And I think it's a wonderful thing and I kind of stick with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in Maria Bamford, you're, you're kind of buying into that world. So like it's, it's whatever the world is that you're selling. That's what, that's what really works is that kind of thing. Like, you know, you're just like, yeah, I dig Maria Bamford's unbelievable comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I remember they said, uh, with him, with that special, I believe it was that special. So that was the one that set him off, right? So I remember, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it might have been Louis CK telling a story or something or someone like that. So Chris was on SNL, Chris Rock was on SNL and then he got done and like, and then went on the road. And so no one really saw him. And I don't, I wouldn't say like, I mean, he was on SNL, he's famous, but it's not like he's, he was becoming Chris Rock that he's become.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so Chris goes on, leaves New York and just goes on the road, so no one sees him. And so they don't know where he's at. And they're like, well, he's not even, he's like on the road. He's not working or anything, whatever. And then he comes back to New York and does a show and they go watch it. And it's basically, it's bringing the pain is what he goes. And they were like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, Louie's like, I gotta be different. Like everybody's like, I don't know what I'm doing. I always think about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's what you want to do. When you like, when I left New York, I was like, when I go, every time I go back, I want the other comics when they watch, they go, oh, okay, alright, well we gotta go get it together. Like this is crazy. And that's what it was with Chris Rock with Bring the Pain. Like they, the other comics watched and he was murdering so hard and it was so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they go, oh, that's where he's been. And it's unreal. That's what he's been up to. And you know, like you can just tell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At that point they could, they could, they're watching, they're like, well, he's about to leave us. Like we got our little crew together and he's about to be gone, dude. Like, cause this dude, he's, he's going to film this special and it's going to be, it's flawless. Like it's pretty crazy. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ever see Eddie Murphy's like raw, like when he, him working on that material? No. Uh, cause I always wondered that there's YouTube clips of him at the comic strip doing like the ice cream bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's pretty interesting to see it cause you know it from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, I mean, on stage in the red suit. And to see him doing it on a Tuesday night at the comic strip. Cause Eddie Murphy, you felt like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you told me he made all that up, I know comics don't make stuff up on the spot. If you told me he made that whole special up, I would believe it. Cause you just never heard about him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that was delirious. Delirious. You never heard about him traveling. You know, I mean, I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one, I mean, if you're like my, you know, Chris Rock and Seinfeld, if you ever hear them talk about it, they would hear him, like they saw him doing spots, but you never, you know, we never, I never heard he was doing spots, I never heard he was like going to a funny bone, you know, he was at Zane, he's doing something, like you just never heard that kind of stuff.


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[Assistant] And, uh, so it's pretty neat to see. There's great comic strip clips. The comedy club in New York called The Comic Strip, if you go on YouTube, they have great clips that are, you can see Ray Romano. Like a lot of comics that are just popping in when they're first starting out. And they're just doing a show for 50 people. Yeah, that's cool.


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[Assistant] In my head. I know Chappelle was very, very young, but I mean, he put that special out. That was his first one, right? 22 years old. That's so young. And that is an adult special. Like that's like, uh, you know, a 20 year vet comes up with that special. It's so crazy. That's still, you


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[Assistant] His, so his big thing when he turned, uh, got big too was like, I think I've heard him talk about it where he said, uh,


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[Assistant] You know, he like had a joke about a dolphin and he just was like, what am I doing? Dolphins. And then he kind of went in with the like, I hate my kids. And then you start talking about it and went that route and that registered with like so many people that, and then then he became, he changed. It was like a different comment.


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[Assistant] So some of that, if you've ever watched the pilot of the Cosby show, he does his act in that, which is funny. The pilot of the Cosby show, we talked about that before.


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[Assistant] It's one, it's one of the best episodes ever. In the pilot. The first episode. I mean shows changed dude. Seinfeld was called a different, it was the Seinfeld Chronicles and


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[Assistant] The parents were different. I mean, they, they, they changed Seinfeld so much after the pilot and for, and for the Cosby show to be like,


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[Assistant] The most memorable lines are from the first episode. That's wild.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I haven't seen that. I don't think I have either. Yeah. I don't think I have either. Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, I mean, Patrice.


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[Assistant] Patrice would have been fun to be alive right now and see what he, uh, did. He was a, Patrice, Patrice would have been, I mean,


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[Assistant] It would have been nuts too. Like what he would have just produced and the specials he would have made. It would have been unreal.


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[Assistant] Uh, alright, well yeaah, we weren't doing much, you know, today, just pop it in, uh, just talk a little bit.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we're, I mean, yeah, if you, if you want to know anything about, uh, what I've talked about in my, uh, in this special, The Greatest Average American, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, ask, email us, hit us up, comment, whatever, you know, do what everyone do. And, uh, we're collecting, once we get enough, we're, we're maybe do it. So it might be a month or something, I don't know, went out, however long it takes people to, once we feel like we got enough questions. But yeah, if you want any questions about any of the,


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[Assistant] Uh, so, uh, yeah, definitely let us know that. Yeah, that could be fun to talk about that. Uh, and then yeah, I mean, look, and then we, we did, I know we did the voting on Instagram about like the March Madness, the greatest.


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[Assistant] Everybody that voted in that, thank you for doing that. That was a lot of fun. Uh, it's, it's been interesting to see. I mean, some of them got close ranch dressing and drive ins is which is the, which is more average American was very close.


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[Assistant] Very, very close. Drive-ins or drive-throughs? Drive-throughs, I'm sorry. Okay. Drive-throughs. Or ranch dressing. Which drive-throughs is an interesting one to think about.


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[Assistant] Ranch dressing is very funny to me though, as an answer.


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[Assistant] Uh, and so yeah, and uh, so yes, thank you for doing all that. Thank you for everything that you've done. Remember we, uh, the second show that we are at is on sale.


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[Assistant] So by the time this comes out, I don't know if it will be sold out or not, but make sure you get your tickets if you want to come watch our first live recording.


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[Assistant] First, maybe last. We will see. Live recording of the Nate Land podcast. Again, thank you. Thank all you folks. We love you. And, uh, we will talk to you next week at our normal, normal time. See ya.


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[Assistant] What's up everybody? This is Nate Barghetti. Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm here with, uh, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, as usual. Uh, we are, it starts as week of Thanksgiving. It's pretty fun. Pretty fun week. Uh, no, everybody's trips are canceled. Is there y'all going somewhere?


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[Assistant] Yeah, everybody, like no family or anything. Uh, are you doing family and you're just not, you're lying. You're not telling it because the government is listening. I would say, I don't care. Are you, you're not meeting with them?


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[Assistant] I was going to say eight. 45 years old. She's 73. You're like, gosh, she needs to be careful then. That's just the opposite of what you think.


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[Assistant] Yeah, dude, keep an eye on her, man. Good night. 20. Yeah, it doesn't mat- you know, 20 seems to be fun. We're doing- I think we are going, uh,


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[Assistant] To, uh, Birmingham. I think we're rolling.


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[Assistant] I think that's what either people, I know a lot of people's trips are getting cancelled.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And a lot of people are just staying home and doing whatever. Uh, but it'll be interesting to see we, uh, I believe we're trying to do something, but it could also, I understand any moment could be like, no, we're not doing it. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, I know a couple of guys trips, but what are you gonna do?


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[Assistant] COVID, it's a good time, you know, it's making everything fun. I got two shows still next week. Uh, right now, still next week in California, San Diego's, uh, and, uh, Anaheim, the one night only tour, uh, it's still, still on.


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[Assistant] I mean, yeaah. Uh, you know, they said they're still doing Hollywood stuff, like as far as that kind of, of course they let those guys do whatever they want, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Uh, that's why we're absolutely moved to Nashville from California. Uh, but they're, so yes, I, but I am happy because they, that could have definitely been just pulled. But I mean, these shows, I haven't, I'm trying to find out if they're going to happen. You know, I know I, I, uh, people ask, but there's still, no one's telling us no yet.


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[Assistant] But I, that could easily change, so. We'll see. It's all crazy. It's all, when is it gonna start? When's it gonna be back to normal? You know? You know? I don't know. I mean, unbelievable. It's unbelievable.


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[Assistant] When do we get to get back to regular, like it's pretty crazy. What point?


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[Assistant] I think back on the road, yeah, I guess would be for me going back to the theaters are open again. Yeah. Theaters are back open at full capacity. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah, that might be.


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[Assistant] You're from now. I know, that's crazy though. At what point? I'm telling you, we're gonna all start something.


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[Assistant] What point do we just go, we're just going back out. And if you can't, then go home, do it everyone. You know, what does it matter?


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[Assistant] You have to prove that you took it. That's a good time. It's a good time. That makes it real fun.


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[Assistant] You got to have, uh, I don't know if everybody's familiar with the mark of the beast, but this seems like everyone who always watched those movies was like a mark of the beast movie. And you see that it is funny. Like sometimes you always think about that stuff, like, oh, would that, you know, cause you're like, no, that's never going to happen. And then you start seeing some stuff, you're like, all right, all right. Like you're like, you have to, I saw somewhere, some,


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[Assistant] It's, it's like the government won't make you take the vaccine, but like businesses could be like you have to have proof that you took the vaccine before they allow you in, maybe fly on an airplane.