[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I like, and I like doing that. I know you did. Uhm, but, but I feel like we've done that a lot. That's why this time I'm on the, uh, I'm, I'm on team. Let's bring the dinos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Well there's also the option, because if, if we do a, uh, a procedural map, because I know we talked about that. Yeaah. We could do the, uh, the updated map that they've done, or we do a procedural.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It pops up like, it's, it's one of the cards. Great. Oh, there you go. So pop it in a card. You'll find the card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got a standing desk. That's what I'm doing now. Ever since I got a standing desk, it's like, ooh, fuck my chair. Oh boy. I love it. Yeah, that's not a comfortable chair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, it's got that going for it, doesn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not. It's good to change your mind. Absolutely. Agreed. Agreed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was gonna bring that up! That's number 24. Damn, I was, okay, that's crazy. Okay, go ahead. Uhm, yeah, uh, Angry Video Game Nerd did an episode on this, it was really good, but go ahead, Doraleous. Uh, it's the A.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Berenstain, yeaah, it's a weird, it's a weird one to try to describe, yeaah. What is it? Uh, Beren, I used to read these books as a kid, the Berenstain Bears. Yeaah, that's what I heard. It's Berenstain, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't want to be New Yorker Los Angeles. Nope. No, that's great. That is going to get like dystopian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything. We get blasted by a solar flare and all our electronics go to shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People make fun of those guys, but it's not a bad thing to have. Hey listen, I got a few cans of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of, ehm, just on the topic of survival, anybody watch Naked and Afraid? Nah. I've seen a few. I watched the first, the first time I watched it last night, uhm, my, my wife had it on when I, and I walked into the living room and I was like, hmm, what's this? And I got sucked right in. Watched the whole episode. Did you? Yeah. These two people, like, this guy and this girl surviving for like twenty-something days in a swamp. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, it does seem like these people do, like, undergo, uh, like, the one I was watching, the guy, he was just not bringing in enough food. And I think the camera crew's there, but they're told, like, you can't help them unless they tap out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, it was a fascinating, it was a fascinating watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They give him a bag, like at the beginning they gave him a little bag, uhm, one had a little, uh, uhm, like a lighter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or like a little, uh. It's a good start. Not a lot of it, but like something that would just create a spark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the happy music comes in. It's like it made their day. And then they turn and it's like, you know, day, day 40, you know, or a day five is like, Oh my God, I'm so hungry. I'm so mad. We're so mad at each other. And it kind of rides down a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then like, oh, we gotta go, we gotta find some place to live. We can't live here anymore. Let's walk. Oh, this could be a bad idea. And then like, next day, he's like, oh, it's walking, they're walking all day. He's like, oh, my feet, my feet hurt so bad. You're still riding this downtrain. But then, look, is that dry land? It's dry land! Music comes up, music swells. Look at two pairs of Nikes!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if they do, they don't focus on it. They should. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, I'm sure that happens in that show you think too, Naked People.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That happens a lot. It's like you get two people together that just do not work well together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one I watched, they were like, this couple worked very well together. Like, they complemented each other very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I'm just saying like- They're just complete- They're so fucking old for the- Yeah. They're also fish. You can tell by the tail. Yeah, that's true. You know, all day- Did you just read this-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kinda nuts, we know more about the moon and other planets than we do about the ocean. About what we have here. Well, it's so dangerous to explore too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, just the amount of life around these things, when 30 years ago they were like, nothing can live down there, that'd be crazy. And then they get down there and it's like, holy shit, there's a lot of life down here. Because, like, they don't know, it's such a dumb thing to say, nothing can live down there. Well, I mean, the prevailing theory was that life needed sunlight, some form of sunlight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then we saw the bottom of the ocean. And then it's like, oh, that's not true. That's not true. Light can kind of live anywhere that there's like, minerals and energy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I just found this quick article. Superhuman tribe that can hold their breath for 13 minutes, uh, found to have evolved organs. So this is around the islands of Indonesia. Uh, they've been labeled, uh, fish people for their extraordinary breath holding ability for more than a thousand years. They've wandered the seas, catching fish by free diving to the depths of more than 230 feet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a new study has found that the spleens of this tribe are 50% larger than normal people. Uh, it's the first known example of a human adaptation, uh, for deep diving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can say that this species of human has occupied this area for at least a thousand years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's interesting I think about our species is like, what's gonna pop off of us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was, I think I told him I liked it at the time, but I was just being nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me try to explain what the sandwich was. It was like, uh, you know, so two pieces of bread, obviously, a little like a sub, but there was in the middle, there was like French fries, cheese sticks. It was like, it was so, so much bread and starch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, no, Sony has their own version of it. I think it's called PlayStation Now. Uhm, uh, Xbox has, I think, a version of it. I forgot what it's called. Yea, no, there's a few. I've been doing reading on it because I was looking at Steam's training. Steam's doing their own version of it. Really? Still latency though. That's, that's the big thing right now. I'm not interested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, that's, I think that's the hurdle. And latency is like, okay, so I'm playing, so if I have a controller and I go out of town and, oh, I can log into my, um, game, my Steam account or whatever on my phone with my controller and play my games. There's like a delay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I mean, if you live in a place like a, you know, big city, Google Fiber, plenty of internet, uhm, so latency is also an issue with cloud gaming. The other issue is, uh, the amount of data it takes up. Because if you log on to play a game, uhm, you're gonna be eating a lot of your data. So if you have a data plan, like, you might only be able to play-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that takes up a 65, or you said 65 hours takes up 1 terabyte of data. And you just accepted that fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm with you there. I like to see it kinda even itself out. I'm excited about the technology. It's kinda like VR. VR is awesome, but it still needs to go through a lot of evolution to where I think it has a broader appeal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And more people get into it. I mean, as it is right now, it is the VR we kinda wanted as a kid. But those headsets gotta get a little bit lighter. The uh, the touch controls or whatever. We gotta have a different method of control because like the Vive controllers, they work, for some games they work great, but for the majority of them, they're kinda, they don't really feel that good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, now you're in sort of the platform wars, you know, I mean you got Steam, which is well established, but now Epic's, Epic jumped into the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Yeah. And they're having, you know, Epic because they made so much money with Fortnite, they're just throwing money at game developers and saying, hey, you gotta be exclusive to us. They got some catching up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, future's gonna be fun, as far as entertainment. It's only gonna get bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should live across the street.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got like a row like downstairs, it was a row of what I would take a guess of, it's like 50 beer taps. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That all had digital screens that were like four inches by like eight inches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went up to the guy at the end when we went to pay, and it was just like, this is a really interesting business model. And it makes having a bar. Oh, it's still downtown prices too. Yeah, absolutely. It's normal beverage prices. Yeah, it tells you the price too. They don't have any waitstaff. You gotta do it all yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So many headaches of that industry, I'm sure just poof.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, here's something that I know that potentially, uh, this could be a thing, cause we've talked about it before, cause we're talking about beer, right? Like to have our own beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well you can tell me whatever you want, cause all I'm trying to say is, very doable. Super doable. We just gotta find the right, obviously it's all about the product being...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is true. That's fine, but it's globally from here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't want to be a version of somebody else's addition. I want to be our own beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, we just need to put one person in jail, like, yeaah, yeaah. Sometimes there's too many chefs in the kitchen because there are, there are five of us. Yeaah, but you gotta do it, everyone has to approve of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't mind, it's kinda like, if I'm out at a beach all day or something like that, like a White Claw is like a good beer for that. That's smart, that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw one in our local food line and I swear I turned around the next day and there were 20 of them. Yeaah. Like 20 different brands. Everyone jumped on that wagon. It was kinda like when Root Beer, like the Not Your Father's Root Beer came out. Oh god. For a second and then I felt like everybody was doing a Root Beer. Right. And then they kinda tapered back off. Well listen, there's a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they give you a sprite. Yep, and then I'll do a shot of whiskey. There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're asking him for, see, but we're getting a beer? Or you're gonna ask him about getting a beer sponsor? Because they're two very different things. What are you talking about? We want our beer to be sold in Australia. We want our own beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was being sarcastic. Yeaah, of course. Just like me by saying we're so awesome, obviously. We're awesome anyway, I mean we're awesome before that. You know, so. But I don't like to toot our own horn or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so we could just make it. It's not a big deal. We should also have a wine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, because nothing gets ladies wetter than a swimming pool. If you dump a bottle of wine on them. Exactly. Particularly. That'll do it every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, that, I, I don't think that's a dick move. I think that's a smart move. They're wasted seats. If they're, yeah. Good for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know for a fact that my father was one of those guys that would abuse things to get in front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so it's, you know, it's like, the way I am right now, just, just be thankful I've grown leaps and bounds above the people that I was around as a child. Sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, now you're a real douchebag. I thought maybe it was just one thing. Really, that's like a trick that you, I thought you came up with it on the spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's gonna be like, Simon, my dad was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, and that's what she did about this situation is like, that guy gets fucked. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I would not, I would not want that, no way. I wouldn't, cause you never know, that's the thing. You never know what shit went down in the belly of a, this, man, this is probably people, bagging in the belly of a plane while it's still going out. Weirdest shit's happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should, you should care. Cause you'll have a heart attack watching, watching two, all of a sudden, I don't know why I made the Puerto Rican, but all those two Puerto Ricans having sex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll be Puerto Rico all over again. Yeah, I'm gonna try to keep that thing alive as long as I can. I haven't been this attached to an animal in our gameplay in such a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I see. Right, or just distract him and have him, you know, oh yeah, but I get it, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is gonna be great. So how do we make some sort of a Deadpool? Or can we? Cause I brought it up and then somebody else did it. Like it would be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, you know, but what's a good payoff? How do we do that? Can we get, can we somehow get the audience involved?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not me. I'm not doing that. It has to be officially in a place that it's stored almost like it's on a thread. Like everyone has their thing on the thread. If the community did it. Yeah, the community did it and it's all, it all has to be stated on one thread and then we can like maybe have a prize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I know somebody, the community that we have, it's not that hard, but the thing is they have to be, maybe it's only up to a particular group, like we have a couple of Facebook groups, but one, it's hard to get in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody's gonna pick the next episode, we have to have him out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has to be, he has to be out and about. We'll take him out, but yeah, it's one of those things where we have to be very careful with him. Just very careful. I am really upping his stamina and speed, so he's gonna be easy to just get away with. Also, the biggest danger, I think, is raptors, because raptors can jump on you and take you off the animal. Yes. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This could be dead next episode. You better do that quick. Alright, well listen, it's time to talk about our new sponsor. Let's do it. Isn't it nice to get away? I love getting away. You know awaytravel.com is where you get away luggage like we have. We have away luggage and they're our new sponsor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got one, Thick has one. That's right. Thick, what color did you get?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So away offers high quality luggage at a much lower price by cutting out the middleman and selling directly to you. And they have nine colors to choose from. I went for Navy, I went classic. And they have carry-on, the bigger carry-on, both of which are compliant with all major US airlines, and they've got the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Battery powered, like the USB battery port that pops in and out and that's all compliant with what you got going on with the airlines too which is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd think, or it's just made cause it's, it's made here out of, let me see, it says, all suitcases are made from premium German polycarbonate, which is lightweight and unrivaled in strength and impact resistance. So they're saying, listen, go ahead, try me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they wanted to say that in the ad, but I don't think they're legally allowed to. Okay. So it's not official.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? It's like, but the whole thing, yeah, no, but I mean it's just strange. The whole like, I'm gonna parade you around because now you're only gonna have this dick, this one dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I did too. One was in Vegas, and it was great. It's online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in some ways, isn't it also, uh, supposed to be like, or can be, I think, like verbally abusive. Yeah, it's used as an insult. Yeah, it's like an insult, like, not good enough, like, you know. And there was that one TV show that I watched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one's a verb. I talked about this before, but in this one TV show,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I have some neighbors that are like, that's their situation. I can't figure out their situation, but I'm like, there's gotta be something going on. Recently. Get their email.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he can do it with high energy, like, when he does his videos. Well, I'm wacky!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's wonderful! I love his energy too, it's different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I mean, I'm picturing your neighborhood. I've seen your neighborhood. There's not a lot of tall trees. I mean, I love a tall tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your opinion though? Uh, I'm glad that you told me it was short stories before going into it, because if I hadn't known that, I probably would have been pissed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, it's not a movie that you'd see in the theater. Yeah, no, of course not. Uhm, but it is, it's beautifully shot, uhm, immediately Buster Scruggs that first short story. I love that character and I hated it as quick as it did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. Would you agree, Simon? Oh well yeah, that's when I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, like this is awesome, right out of the gate. I love this character, I wanna see more of this guy. Yeah, very good take on, on that type of character. Yeah, he's like a badass cowboy, but yea, he knows how to have fun. It was like, I wanna see an entire movie with this guy, and then boom, it's over. I was like, man, why waste that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause that actor's, I mean that actor's great. I don't know his name, but I've seen him in a lot. He was in Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Yep. Great actor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, uhm, it's worth a watch though. Beautifully shot. And there was a couple of short stories that I really enjoyed. Most of them in tragically. A couple of them don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he was probably like, I can't sing because, you know, and Rick's like, he's all fucked up on crack and like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, uh, okay. So I'm glad they didn't reveal everything. This is the perfect teaser in this little okay emoji. And I agree. Because, uh, yeah, everyone's seen that trailer for Avengers 2.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it, this is when it's coming out. Cause you know you're gonna see it, you schmucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's history repeating itself with the comics. Of course. It's like, well, I mean, the comics were already kind of dumb, but it's just gonna get dumber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, he was, yea, exactly, fuck it, who cares, I've lost track. Yup. But they, like, Marvel, Marvel's been, even, even the other Avengers movie, I noticed, they had scenes in there that were not in the final film. Like, the, like, the final fight with, like, uh, or Thanos' little minions, like, creepy-crawly guys or whatever. Yeah. Like, in the trailer, you see Hulk running in there and fighting him. That didn't happen in the damn movie. Oh, interesting. Oh, never even came out in the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, like Marvel's been kind of cheeky with like, yeah, just because it's all CG and animated, they're like, we can throw things in our trailer that just throw people off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, good on Marvel. Albeit misleading. We'll see if, now, now early, uh, I guess early reviews are in for Aquaman. They say it's not bad. Good, I would like to see it. I would, I want it to be good. Visually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, and he's a, I enjoy him as a natural. He's very charismatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things you can do with camera technology. Camera and apple box. My next comment. This was from the church gone wrong animation. It's from chief mad dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember coming home from work and my son watching Niebz Gaming around a year ago. It was a 7 Days to Die episode. I remember thinking, what the hell is this? This is crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I always give things a chance and seeing my son watch it, I decided to watch a couple episodes and I'm glad I did because I've been hooked ever since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we like the older audience. No, no, not knocking you. No offense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's a dirtbag. Completely knocking your son. Gotta get his shit together. But yeah, it was just a nice comment. It is. Eat your veggies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next comment from our buddy Gunz that says, We're not ready for Atlas. Hold off! We got too much to play already. I feel like Atlas took us by surprise because we all saw the teaser trailer like way back in, while we were in Austin for RTX.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, the trailer looked like it was like, oh wow, you know what, they got a lot of stuff done. Yeah, so I mean honestly, I was just like, how do you guys know it's gonna take that long? And everyone did guess it would be about a year, but not me. Yeah, you were right, Simon. Not me! You never know though, Alpha 17 took a decade to come out. That was my point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My theory was that, uh, I guess because it's- that's the thing, it's not Studio Wildcard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Developing this. It's people that made Ark. I think they're an offshoot of Studio Wildcard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was my theory, but yeah. Shitty theory! Boom! It was a shitty theory. I think it's what? It's... It's too soon. We're recording this on the 13th. I think it comes out the 19th. They delayed it a week. They announced it and then they delayed it a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do it like aberration and go in and try a day and then see what happens. If we want to go back and it's fun, we try another day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just my take on it. I think we animate it. Just animate the whole damn thing. Yea, do that too. Perfect. Alright. Animated series coming up! But yea, I think we're all-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're certainly intrigued by it, and we want to play it, and well yeah, we'll try to do a video on it as quick as we can. Sure. Alright, this is my last comment. I believe this was from an Ark Aberration video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that says, uhm, hopefully with the new updates slated to be including in Ark, uh, making your bases will be much better. Alright, so this was from the Extinction video where I was making the base and bitching about the pillars. Uh, the dev says they'd be integrating structures plus into the game, and that mod makes creating so much more friendly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alrighty, that's amazing. Because Structures Plus is, uh, yeaah, it, it, it is one of the only, I think it is the only mod we use, innit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's the only mod we use and yeah, it's like whoever programmed that, it just makes building an Ark so much better. It's still wonky. Like the building in Conan is great compared to Ark. In my opinion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think you can pick certain things up in Conan, but it's like, yeah, I don't think, yeah, walls and shit you have to dismantle. Which is bullshit. It's like, if you put a foundation down in a game like that, just, just let us pick it back up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Yep. You know, you shouldn't have to break it apart. You just gotta listen to us in almost everything. When I say us, I mean you guys. But hell, I've changed the face of Seven Days to Die single-landedly, so. You do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does our audience know that story? Well yes, we've already talked about it, but yea, so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you like the sound of soothing ca-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. God. My comments are done, by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That right there, let's just say, that's the perfect thing to do when you first break into a place. As soon as you break in, you go right for the lawn mower, you mow it, everyone in there, hopefully everyone that's in the area cares. Look at that. There's that guy, and then oh, now he's inside, he must be house sitting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of the missions in the early game were so stupid. Just break a toilet. Oh my god. Break a glass. Why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because I was only a possibility and we recorded it on an off day. It was an off day. And I was like, I might be able to do it, but Doraleous could do it. You were too busy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well I had prior engagements. That means too busy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, we killed our gas bag with fall damage. Because we didn't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you want, you don't want, the swiss should be melted, the corned beef for pastrami, but it should be corned beef, but I'll accept pastrami.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Reuben is supposed to be grilled as well. I mean, yes, you can make it cold. You can do everything cold, but it's kinda weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God no. Gotta let it sit for three hours before you serve it. I don't like cold sandwiches at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have to pass this laptop around, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be dead eyed demon, and we'll all, some of us might get another go at this. Uh, dead eyed demon says Simon is dark soul, is the dark souls of common simple acts of life. This was in the last commenting on comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perfect. Yeaah. We'll see. Yeaah. Do the first one. Tom Curry says, High five Woody!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Woody Arnold says not really a fan of Dork Souls since I started writing comics. I haven't had much time for video games. Something had to give. I wanted to follow my dreams. Good on you, Woody! Wait, is Woody way down there? How come- Way down.


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[Assistant] It says you guys should join or set up a server that is role playing and agree that your base doesn't get touched while offline. The end. Woo!


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[Assistant] Hey, tried something new, it didn't work. But thank you all for commenting though. It could work, I appreciate that. Here's what needs to happen, like yea, if you find a good thread with people arguing, you print it out. Print it out, so you can give us a script. But I didn't want everybody to do it, it was somebody else's idea and I said okay. Yea, I know, I know, I know, I'm saying next time. Next time, next time.


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[Assistant] Well, when I was driving a boat for years, I never had one.


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[Assistant] The rules were different back then. That is a new thing. No one had ever heard of a boat. But no, I mean, I could drive a boat. No problem. And I was driving with people who had licenses in front of water police.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did not need a fishing license, but you go other places and it's like, oh yeaah, it's like, this is such a bullshit thing, I'm visiting somewhere, I gotta pay you 15 bucks so I can fish for the day, go fuck yourself.


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[Assistant] Well I never worried about getting a ticket and I worried about other things.


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[Assistant] Maybe not. I fished a lot in like county parks.


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[Assistant] He's really hard to work with. He is an asshole.


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[Assistant] That's why I didn't upload anymore. Really? I heard he was...


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[Assistant] That's it. The cremification. The topest of the comments. Everything else from now on will be shite. From you, not from, not from Nibs. Nibs is gonna pull his zinger right now and knock you right off the pedestal.


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[Assistant] He was also a frickin forward for the Knicks. For the Knicks, he was, yes. Yea, anyway sports guy, go on.


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[Assistant] You're like, I wanna grow one! Yeah, it may have been, it may have sometimes it go down and I just wanna shoot him one more time. Just one more. Because I got my bow pulled back already and just like, fuck it. That's what happens with me most of the time, and I'm like, ah, might as well just, ah, what are the odds it's gonna kill him? And you voice it. It lowers the level. Yeah, that's the thing, yeah, it doesn't kill him. That's it, it lowers the level.


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[Assistant] Well, what I've gotten into now is I just, I just shoot up. Yeaah. And then you say, fuck it, thwump.


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[Assistant] Wait a second though. It's been a long time. I get what you're saying, but they're game developers.


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[Assistant] Unless they're doing other things on the side. They're not doing anything. Right. And if this is just their thing, like if we were just doing animations, we would be putting out a Duralias every couple of months for the love of it. Cause we need to.


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[Assistant] It's just his hobby. It's a great game. It is. We just love it. It worked well for us. You'd be curious to know how much money they've made from it.


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[Assistant] Like, yea, that, I mean that's why I feel like they should put out more maps. You know, you would think just from the views on YouTube and everything, they've made a chunk.


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[Assistant] Man, Tippi was a meaningful character for sure. Yeah, no, it sucked. Significant. A very worthy ally. It was our first, uh, hyena. Not hyena. What? Ravager, right? Ravager, yeah. The most powerful thing that we kinda had, right?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, cause I, yeah, I just got ambushed. I was out just gathering wood and all of a sudden I think...


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. It was uh, yeaah. It was sad. I'm still sad.


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[Assistant] Oh, okay, well Anthony, uh, did, um, he did shoot it though, right?


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[Assistant] He spectated, and I remember him showing us that, when it was just like, oh god, there it is, and I know him, when he's, whenever he sees us doing something that we shouldn't be doing, yes, he's just like, oh great, this is a good shot. Can't wait to see it just happen.


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[Assistant] Uh, alright, well thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. And, uh, Neves?


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[Assistant] It's okay. Sorry for that bad audio, guys.


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[Assistant] So we did the one day, uh, probably about three or four weeks ago. Right, we're almost done with it.


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[Assistant] From Joshua Hogan, who works at a place called Greenbrier, and apparently this place is actually featured in the game. It's a location. But he sent a brochure. Up in West Virginia. Yeah. So he's like, if we're ever around there, he'll show us around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Makes sense. But anyway, Joshua, thank you. If we're ever up there, we're going to take you up on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he was renovating it. I mean, there was still huge sections he hadn't even touched, but, uh. See, when it comes to that, I...


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[Assistant] Are you just gonna let the bugs or the giant dogs kill you? No, look man, you ever see me play seven days? I'm not worried about bugs. Right. I'm gonna set up traps. Yeah, come stay in my bunker.


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[Assistant] Yep. I'm just gonna go around gathering trampolines from every home of the deceased. Okay. And building a huge trampoline park that goes on for miles.


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[Assistant] Meet me here. Yeah. Are you still alive that accidentally take your trampoline? 40 miles this way. These are real issues we talk about here.


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[Assistant] I want to thank Scott and Cindy for this drink I'm drinking. Oh, did they leave you a message? They left me a drink, yea.


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[Assistant] How do we teach them to not like houses? We wouldn't have a problem with that.


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[Assistant] Is that good, Simon? Makes me feel great.


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[Assistant] He puts the code and everyone's mode comes out. Damn. They're gone. Son of a bitch.


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[Assistant] I asked you to send me a link to the hard drive you want. You never responded. Oh, get on that. Okay. We need another hard drive for that computer.


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[Assistant] Well, we may be seeing her all the time because Spectator in that game is broken. It is weird. She's supposed to be invisible, but she's not half the time.


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[Assistant] I would say white if I had to choose right now because that's what I've had the most of.


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[Assistant] It is. I gotta go in and look cause I know they still have some things, but yeah, they've been working on it. Yeah. They keep updating.


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[Assistant] You know, we've talked about this before, but- We try to play popular games, and that one's not very popular, but uh, maybe, maybe people would watch it anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does the hat stink? Probably. Do the NPCs react to you like, oh you got a stinky hat? No. That'd be funny. So now it doesn't. All 500 some voice people.


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[Assistant] We could do, yeaah, that actually would be handy. We could do a lot of things different, but where's the fun in that?


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[Assistant] Yeah, we got separated in our recordings. Those videos probably aren't out yet. Yeah, that's true. But, uh, Absurde kind of ventured off by himself. I don't blame him.


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[Assistant] For me, like, I haven't gone very far because it's so dangerous, but I haven't got bored of that area because it's so challenging.


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[Assistant] Can you add a message to the premiere launch? I dunno. Like can the video be called this, but it says hey guys, premiere in 30 minutes.


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[Assistant] I prefer not to do that, cause, cause YouTube be crazy.


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[Assistant] The one thing that made me laugh out loud was I'd spit if I knew how.


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[Assistant] Ooza booza. Hey, where's, uh, the, the box jet city rascal scent? Cause I want to get that collar. Oh wow. Yeah. I don't know. You want me to go get it? Would you? Would you be a lamb?


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[Assistant] Yeah, alright, well, Abstro's walking out. We should play him out with his theme song. Yep. Ahhhh. More music for you to add. Here we go. I like this stuff. Oh, I like it too. Music from Melio.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a, uh, Jessity Rascal sent us a box of goodies and, uh, there were two dog collars in there. Yep, one had a Neves Gaming logo all over it, which I'm gonna put on Harley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is. That's awesome. Uh, so, I can't wait to go put this on Harley Bear. Hey, you put it on Harley. Take a picture.


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[Assistant] We clash in some areas, we're all flat earthers here.


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[Assistant] I'll try to tone my act down a little. Can I go first?


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[Assistant] But I don't know what it is. Perfect! What shape do they think the earth is? I think they're rounders.


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[Assistant] So, uh, listen, all my comments are from like three weeks ago when I thought we were going to be doing a podcast and I finally get to read them. So, this is from whenever we did the arc, uh, arc golem, the rock golem thing. Groovy. So, my comment is from Colton Fisher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe we've heard of this game before, but it says you guys should do Unturned. It's like, uh, it's kinda like Minecraft. It has a buttload of guns, uh, it is free on Steam. Called what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. The graphics are real simple, but you can craft guns and other things and kind of survive in this world. I think it looks pretty cool. Anyway. That's Unturned. I wouldn't mind trying it someday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I do my next comment? Yeah, please do. Uh, it's from, uh, Seven Days to Die, the fin- the finale. The comment is from DudeMan9339. Does Simon think it's called Bob Wire? No.


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[Assistant] Or is it B-A-R-B? How does Barbra Streisand spell her name? Her- B-A-R-B-A-R-A-


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[Assistant] Hey, I used to climb over it all the time. Did you? In prison? Yeah. Okay. Just places they don't want you in.


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[Assistant] That's weird. It is. You don't put barbed wires on barbers, usually. No you don't. You want another comment? No.


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[Assistant] No. Nooooooo. No from, okay, from both of y'all.


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[Assistant] I'm pretty sure Apster's wife does not, uh, and mine, sometimes, depends on what it is. Scribble.io, things like that that are just like cutting up, drawing, uh, sure, because she doesn't game. So if it's something that she loves, she loves Subnautica because she could just listen to it. She didn't even have to, cause it was a lot of conversation. She likes stuff with conversation. Right. So, no, a lot of nos and then sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go. My last comment is also Ark. Uhm, and it was, it was the Cooter's second chance. Mmhm. Where Thicc went back into the Wyvern ravine. And it says, uh, this is from Takt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is thick trying to play us? It looked like that wyvern was already, uh, mostly dead when it came out of the ravine.


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[Assistant] That answers that. No, I was not rigged. Not at all. You'd like to see what? The All-Stars debate that. Oh, sure.


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[Assistant] See, Joe Rogan would consider this, but you guys are just like, nope, nope, nope.


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[Assistant] I can see why you were the closing act. I don't think I should have been the closing actor.


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[Assistant] I thought so. Good job. Thanks. Was that the closing act?


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[Assistant] You're probably right. Thick, you mean, cause we're started. Uh-uh. I did it!


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[Assistant] Oh man, hello everyone. This is an actual podcast. You know that it's very rare that people do these.


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[Assistant] I have noticed as of late that podcasts, people doing podcasts and the amount because of, because there's such a large amount of people doing them.


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[Assistant] I actually, you hear it in like, you know, TV shows or movies, how like everyone, everyone and their mother is doing a podcast. Like, oh, there's so much shit out there. Is it really? Is that really? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same thing with YouTube videos, but it doesn't mean people should stop making videos.


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[Assistant] It's just, do they say it in an interesting way? Well that's what it comes down to, that's what thins the herd. And that's what thins the herd, but the more they do it, the better they're gonna be, like us. We're getting better, hopefully. It's stupid how good we're getting.


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[Assistant] Like, I wanna do a podcast that just talks about


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[Assistant] Well, it's not a really, it's not a good podcast, but like movie trailers. You do like the movie trailers. Yeah, I watch a lot of movie trailers.


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[Assistant] That's why mine's different. I've said this before. I don't review the movies. I review the tracks.


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[Assistant] It's something that I think is funny. So if I think it's funny and I think it could be entertaining, that's all that really matters. Like I can't sit here and go like, what do I think everyone else is going to really like? Like, well I can kind of, but I have to go with my heart. We should review cereal box art. I would do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what the hell is going on with Thicc, man? Where is Thicc? Yeah, it's-


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[Assistant] They got me. They got me. Yeah, but the good angle, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the angle kinda like two?


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[Assistant] Meaning Woody is realizing that maybe he doesn't want to go back where he wants to go and Woody's kind of like lost. Like, oh, maybe it would be better to be here. I mean, that's the same damn thing.


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[Assistant] You blew up the mic on, you were very passionate.


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[Assistant] But I did it. So I mean, I know we can fucking get people to do this.


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[Assistant] No promises. That's the new title, but I'm gonna call it Mob Squad Season 3. Promises. No promises. No. Promises. You promised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I promised. Or call it, Get Your Hopes Up. Okay, but it has to be Mob Squad Season 3.


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[Assistant] And you know what we're going to do? We really should strike. Anyone who's got season two freaking dubbed in Spanish with three million views an episode, we should really be like shutting those people down. Drop the fucking hammer. You know what I'm saying? Like for years, like I've been saying, I know, but for years I've been like, come on man, we should stop this or we should


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Report them and it's gonna be like, ah, well really should we?


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[Assistant] It is very nice. I assumed it was kind of like a template that you would just type in and the font was there. You drew that? I had to grab a font, then I had to alter the font and then...


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[Assistant] No, that's not what they said. Yep. And do you guys find it weird that you have made a living off of people watching


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[Assistant] Keep up the great work. It's all downhill from here. Probably.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you'd think, I think we're, it makes, it would make sense in my life that this would be the top point and then everything's... We're, we're getting ready to go over the edge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right, Brian Short says, Hey guys, been following you for a long time.


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[Assistant] Well, soon there were 10 or 12 people huddled around my laptop laughing hysterically. It has become a regular thing. They are sad I am being released, but say the tradition of Niebz Gaming will roll on. Keep it up, and again, thanks for lifting our spirits. That is awesome. How freaking cool is that?


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[Assistant] Connor Smith says weren't you guys supposed to switch to Red Dead?


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[Assistant] Or is it just a money thing and you guys need the more popular content for the income reasons? Sorry if I sound overly negative, I'm just a bit disappointed to not see new content burnt out on the same content.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're waiting. We're like, we're also though, I mean the forest is definitely different, satisfactory is different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, I think most of these comments were on today's GTA video that came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great White Kong says, and on today's episode of Damn It, Simon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, lol, love your videos guys, keep up the great work. And yeah, I definitely heard that a lot. And Neebs, man, you got, you were getting a lot of love in the comments. Was I really? I mean, you. What'd I do? You were a pro. I mean, spoiler alert, but it's really not too much of a sore. I mean, you killed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Karma Ninji? Ninji? Says, a thick hunt. Is that another version of Mike Hunt?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and yeah, like, you know, Mike hunt. Yeah. Cause that was like one of the first things you said when we started rolling with all good. It's a thick hunt. And then I was like, oh yeah, that is a very childish way to get the word sounding like you said cunts. So that's why I titled it. Yes, it was. I'm juvenile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I would have gone nowhere, cause I've not, I've been bad at a lot of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want an old boy shirt that's becoming Neebs catchphrase. You do, you do a lot of old boys. So work on it Neebs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And I'm done with my comments and guess what it's time for? More comments! Nope. Nope, we gotta talk about a sponsor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, seriously though, uh, this podcast is brought to you by Wolverine The Lost Trail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you probably heard about Marvel's hit scripted podcast, Wolverine The Long Night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gizmodo called it the X-Men Crime Drama Podcast. I never knew I wanted. And now Wolverine is back in a brand new season of the podcast and you can only hear it on Stitcher Premium. This season's called Wolverine The Lost Trail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] and it picks up with Logan in the Louisiana Bayou Wolverine heads to New Orleans looking for redemption and his ex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only she's nowhere to be found, and dozens of humans and mutants have gone missing. It's up to Wolverine to find out what's going on with Weapon X in pursuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Along the way, he'll find biker gangs, gambit, and a refuge run by a powerful mutant. You can listen to Wolverine The Lost Trail now on Stitcher Premium. People who are in it. Richard Armitage, he was in The Hobbit and Hannibal in Berlin. Bill Irwin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bill Heck, see this is what got me, cause Bill Heck was in the ballot of Buster Scruggs as Gambit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but he was in that and it made me think that, my god, Buster's making its way back into the podcast. And he's gambit in the podcast, okay. And Blair Brown is in it as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to wolverinepodcast.com and use promo code Neebs. And there you go. Thank you very much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't fucking know! Actually, he went to Nassau Community College. No, he went to Cal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could do 15 minutes just on hot dogs. Yeah, that's true. Won't be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I've been background in a song or two.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we absolutely could. And the flavors that we had from that comment, they would be good. The only thing is, is getting...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The design for each label, they're all the standard size, but a design for each flavor. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just- Yeah, we have the flavors. Were you not here last time? No. Oh, his flavor was white. Somebody had suggested- And I'm not white. Well, no. That's what you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, or we'll just call you, instead of white, we'll just call you, we'll call it Caucasian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which salami would be good. I mean it's not good like good, it's good like gimmick. Let's face it, I mean like we want to have some good flavors, but salami, nobody's gonna really want to have salami flavored. Not many, I would. One out of a hundred. A good salami, like in Genoa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if I were to be the foreman, I would need to see some sort of blueprints on what it's supposed to be. You'd be in charge of the blueprints. And you would tell us what to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, I mean, but I'm a union guy that cares. I'm a union guy that can get fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a friend of mine that's in, that's in New York right now and he's just like, he's going through the union process. He's getting in and there's a six month like probation, but pretty much after six months, he's like, you can't get fired. People that are going into work and they're getting shit faced at work or they're getting high all day. It's like union. Sounds like a good system. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Heart, uh, I'll be playing the part of Heart Attack Jack. Don't you mean Dark Souls? Check YouTube for that animation, it's a perfect parody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not a part of that channel though. Yeah, I know, but I liked their video. No, I know, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dammit, I was gonna say I can't afford the shipping thick. Okay, great. You can now!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's kind of a miracle, isn't it? Yeah, it's a Christmas miracle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I consider myself smart. I like to be in a non- like, I'd prefer San Diego weather.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would tell you about the one year my one pumpkin, uh, carved. It was a perfect spongebob carving. This was years ago. It turned to black, uh, mush. I'm gonna mention that at one point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like it's got a little element of all the previous maps here and there. It's got a little bit of aberration, I believe, as well. It looks like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So getting the hell out of there. That's good news. I love it. I'm excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it can compare to what we've dealt with. I mean, we learn to love aberration more than we expected to, I think. Most of us are the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without a doubt be better than Extinction and Scorched Earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna meet Kim Jong. Why don't we? I wanna meet, I wanna talk to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The outrage game? Uuuh, can't do it. I know, it's so obnoxious. It's disgusting. I was just trying to be silly. I know you were. I know. I do want to meet him though. Just want to talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. They found the tomb, there was like the gravesite, and there's our voices behind some door, which is the kind of big funny one with our voices. I don't know what else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's a song thing. So what do you mean comedy? But it's kind of a- Like a funny song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The question, like, where did it come from musically? I'm picturing a DJ. Right. And it seems like it, like, started almost like with, uh, in the reggae-ish world, like a D, like, I don't know. Someone added it to some of the DJs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There should be a song made just of that. Like, that's... Yea, you'd think somebody would have done it already.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we could get some country up in there. People like- the kids love it. I'm a fan, I'm a fan of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like our, I don't know, did you guys know the Gossan Brothers? Mm-mm. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So they were formed with two other girls down in Nashville and it was Gloria and I was their band. So they were opening up for Taylor Swift on her tour and like they've hit, you know, they've played it big time, but they're well off-ish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty boys, that was, it was all like a fabricated thing. It's like, it's the equivalent. And super talented too. Sup, they're fucking wonderful. Yeaah, they're great at what they do. They can make up for a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, without a doubt. No, I'll always give them that, but they ended up in like, this uh, formed like, backstreet boy-ish country band, you know? That was completely put together and, it was, it was just, yea, nothing. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. Oh no, Chris Stapleton. Dude, like that guy is the real deal. His voice is frickin' flawless, like man, he adds soul to the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's great. Now I'm excited, but I've never been so excited to shave my nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've only done it once and I nicked it twice. And man, that pain lasts for a couple days. Yea, it doesn't feel good. No, it doesn't go away quick. Good talk. You ever thought about laser hair removal on your nuts? No. No, because I felt it on my face. And knowing what that feels like on my face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't do, uh, waxing down there, do they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck that, I feel bad for women in that realm too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't rhyme with anything. Floor and balls don't rhyme. Go ahead, fuck. Uh, how do your balls feel right now? They feel great. Cool. Anthony just went in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There'll be a proper time at some point. Yes. We'd imagine. Alright, this is from, uh, the, uh, that Sirius Sam VR thing. I just picked the top comment.


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[Assistant] I guess I brought that up, I mean, we do love, but as far as the VR thing, uhm, yeaah, I'm gonna, I brought it up to the guys today, I'm gonna give a shot at a different series, and it might crash and burn, but whatever, I was inspired to do it.


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[Assistant] Well, you guys helped for a bit. I was helping. We did start it.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. We got an email the other day from YouTube saying that Tesla's giving away Tesla's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that makes sense. Sweet. I'd like one. Yea. Officially. I'll take it. I tried to respond. Apparently I marked his jump to YouTube and Tesla. Sorry to interrupt.


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[Assistant] Saying positive things about it.


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[Assistant] I'm, I'm just looking at the comments on here, uh, Burt Macklin has a good comment on your video, the house flipper. I sat in my messy room watching someone play a game where they tidy houses slash rooms. What a time to be alive.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Kinda reminds me of that old onion.


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[Assistant] Uh, news article where the guy, they, they pitched it as a positive story. It was like, man, donates like 50 human livers to Earth.


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[Assistant] It's gonna be a $10,000 budget, you know.


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[Assistant] You guys put Minecraft up, I'm putting a full game of Madden on our channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our dynamic. I think we needed that to, like, yea, you're right. I definitely appreciate what it had done for our channel, but you have to move on. Of course, and we have.


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[Assistant] Well, there was that one dream with you, Doraleous. Uh huh. Well, you had a landlord, this lady, who swindled you out of like $300,000 in a bad sushi deal. I was so pissed at that lady. Yeah. What was the deal?


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[Assistant] So it was to open some sushi restaurants. It wasn't the sushi bag. But it was to open some sushi restaurants all over the United States. And I remember that Idaho had moved away from where it is and it moved closer to Hawaii.


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[Assistant] That could be a one-off for us, is that we have to infiltrate his place somehow.


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[Assistant] I saw it in the comments, I didn't notice that I scrapped it.


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[Assistant] I thought it was every three days. Every three days?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Read some comments. Here we go. My first comment is from the battlefield video. Uh, which one is it from? I think it's from it's one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was actually funny with that play session, cause I remember it. Me and Pool Shark and Mugs in Gamescom, we were all talking about that.


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[Assistant] And one influencer in particular who was there, I'm not going to say his name, but, uh, the guy who was just sucking off everyone. Like not, like Dice couldn't do anything wrong. I love it. Just ship the game. Ship it now. I love it. Everything about this is perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's okay, that's okay. So, uh, next comment has nothing to do with Battlefield, but, uh, Craziest Kraken had a question and said,


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[Assistant] Hey guys, loving the channel right now. I feel like it's in a really good place. I have a question though. I was wondering what happened to the GTA cinematic series. It was really good, but it's been a few months since the last upload. Thomas, please discuss on commenting on comments.


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[Assistant] Uh, my next comment comes from FiniteGalaxy88 and it's on the Ark video, the most recent one. Uh, what's that one called? Which was... It's like, someone's gonna burn.


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[Assistant] Alright. And this is a pro tip, and I didn't know this, and maybe you did, Neebs, because you research a little bit more than we do. Uh, you guys should get a torch and white dye, then use the white dye on the torch and it will light better than the flashlight and have a longer lighting distance than a normal torch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for the pro tip. Uh, the next comment from the same video is from Shay Montes. Me and my daughter who about to be one next month. Love you guys. Please give her a birthday shout out on the next commenting on comments. Her name is Imani Rose. We watch you guys every Friday and Saturday for seven.


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[Assistant] Wait, how old? She's gonna be one next month. She's a big fan? Big fan. So by watching... This ain't for her. She's there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next comment is from Hibiki the Ink Fox, and this was from the Battlefield video. Okay. So it says, oh my God, you got to play with Ravix. So jealous. Is he cool IRL? I love his chat reaction vids. Full on fanboy mode right now. Also, so happy to see you guys doing Battlefield again.


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[Assistant] Love you guys, ogbffs. So Ravik was one of the former competitive players, he's a YouTuber who I played with.


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[Assistant] Uhm, while I was at Gamescom, like the whole time I was with Ravik, Music, Ponylion. And, uh, so, to answer your question, Ravik is very nice. He's a bit of an introvert at first. He's very quiet and sheepish. Ooh, kinda like Jack Fraggs? But then you, yea, a little bit, but then you give him Mountain Dew and he goes CRAZY. Mountain Dew? There you go. No, no, he was, yea, he was very cool. Like, uh,


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[Assistant] Very nice. Are you done with comments? Yes, I'm done with comments. And, uh, Simon, you asked for like gaming news or gaming stuff or anything. While I was at Gamescom- To hear about the Minecraft, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While I was at Gamescom, I got to check out World War 3. And it's the game that looks a lot like Battlefield 4, at least in a lot of the trailers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I had a lot of fun playing that game. Uh, it's pretty ambitious for a small studio. Are there tanks? There are tanks! Are there planes?


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[Assistant] I did not see any planes, but there are... Do the tanks spawn at the base? Tanks are at the base. They don't just appear? They don't appear. I hate that. Now I can tell you this, with the customization, holy shit, like the customization is... You know what? I might do a video on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so I will tell you about them. Uhm, customization, you can customize everything. Even your vehicles. The treads, the armor, the turrets, the guns. And with tanks, in this case, if you're the driver,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, your optical is like a TV screen. And you can with just a regular gun, infantry gun, you can take out the optic on a tank. It kind of sticks up out of the top.


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[Assistant] It's a cross between Battlefield 4 and Call of Duty, to where your kill streaks are new points, you can call in air strikes, you can call in drones, you can customize your drones, you can customize your air strikes, so you can choose like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A frag shell or a high explosive. They're doing early access, they said in the fall. Okay, so sometimes there's so much shit this fall. I know, I know, but I'm probably most excited about, about this one, especially from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of the stuff that I saw that I probably can't show, I can show the gameplay that I have. If you want it, I can give you the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good idea. And I will say this also, uh, there are two things that they want to do. They want to put our voices in the game and they want to put, uh, Niebz Gaming stickers available for customization.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but the, the, when I got there, they were like, oh my god, you know, we love Battlefield friends, all this stuff. That's awesome. We would love, you know, for you guys to do some voices in the game. Hell yea. We should do Latter Guy. Oh, only if we can do Latter Guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feel them in the comments, please link to some, uh, Polish tourism videos that we would enjoy. Well, okay. I'm not going in the winter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, in case anyone didn't see, we do have new Ark t-shirts. They are our heads. And I just want to go over some numbers.


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[Assistant] I've been keeping track of whose shirt has been selling the most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mine sold one more. Yeah! There you go. Is mine still, uh... Yep.


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[Assistant] Fit, there have been 50 Apsro head shirts sold.


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[Assistant] Alright. Simon's right on his tail. Yep. With 49. That's the way I like it, staring at that ass. Then, thick 44 with 44. Wow. Get out. Really? Wow. Perfect.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, and then Duralis. Duralis you have eight.


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[Assistant] I can tell you this, the, well the highest selling shirt on our


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that was the Cooter shirt, uhm, that was the campaign and it's over, but beyond that,


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[Assistant] And my 13 year old daughter who thinks everything we do is cringy actually laughed her ass off at that episode. Wow. She couldn't stop laughing. Cool. Nice. And uh, so we, yeaah, we've got somewhat of a fan, I guess. Thanks for your patronage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To hear who our sponsor is. Well, I'll give you a hint. One of them's real fancy. Like you're gonna get dressed up and you need tuxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what, who though? Black Tux. Yes, the Black Tux. And the other one is? Simple Contacts. They both go hand in hand as well. They do, because you want to be able to see how good you look. You're damn right. The Black Tux is a really easy way for guys to rent suits or tuxedos online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Place your order online and your suit will arrive 14 days before your event. Then send it back 3 days later and shipping is free both ways. Now when it comes down to your choices, you can pick from stylus selected outfits if you have no clue what you want. Or you can build a custom look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because Black Tux has tons of suits and tuxedos to choose from and they're always adding new selections. They will even let you feel the fit and quality of your suits months before your event with a free home try on. So to get $20 off your purchase, visit TheBlackTux.com slash Neebs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's TheBlackTux.com slash Neebs for $20 off your purchase of premium rental suits and tuxedos delivered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Needs and oral sex is a lot of bellybutton action. You were fine too. He's nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, but guess what? Sharks will eat you. This is- you're gonna make me argue at this point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for instance, we're learning new facts. In 2016, let's just say 27 fatalities due to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes they do. Yes they do. The US average is just 19 shark attacks each year. Attacks. Attacks. That's a nibble. That's a little level. That's a nibble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I get that though. Like I grew up on the water and I would never go skiing all the time. I'd always be swimming in the bay, but I've been out with you kind of recently. And when I jump in that water, if I can't see what's below me, it freaks me out. I'm like, there could absolutely be a shark in here. You know, you never know. So I don't like it.


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[Assistant] You had every swing just seemed like you were just dead on.


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[Assistant] Well, it would be nice if you could actually get a knife, imagine this, get a knife and be able to cut off one of their arms.


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[Assistant] Where were you working at the time? At that time... He was just gonna shave his head. He just shaved his head after. That was the whole thing.


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[Assistant] Do you, do you mess around with, uh, I don't know much. Shitheads? Yea, yea, no, no, no, I mean, uh, live action stuff, I should maybe know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you could do whatever you want with that. No questions asked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, that's not true. Once in a while, and I'm only saying this cause it's funny, cause it always happens to you. You had a recent one. Just the other day I got my hair cut. It's like one of those luck things. It's very rare. I've never had this happen to me. It's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, you can't. You can't. Like, let's just say I read something like, and there's probably tons of them out there, like Simon's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Biggest piece of shit, he's the worst guy ever, he's just annoying, his voice sucks, everything. You hear all these things, but honestly, you don't, we don't know where these people are. I always assume that they're just in a really bad place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you? Well, he used it for sure. I mean, I think when you do something that we all, like... I get a bunch of negative comments too. Lately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So whenever anything's negative, and you can determine pretty quickly that it's not gonna bring any positivity to your life, you go, okay, I'm done with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like it, move on. And if you think about it again, say fuck that, stop thinking about it, and then think about something else. I'm done with my comments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the difference. You're right, but you know what? What you just said, like, your idea. We all said we were okay with it, but it was your idea. You know whose idea it was to go out recently with very important animals? This video ain't even out yet. I know. All I said was, I kept it very vague.


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[Assistant] He's got the best of both worlds though. The only reason why I haven't gone over yet is because yea, I have access to everything. To go to you would be, you know. Well, I'm thinking about it pretty hard. Well yea, but he doesn't want you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be fun. Actually, and that's not a bad idea. I think that would be fun. I've learned a lot lately. I would do that. He would please, he would be supporting me because he knows so much more than I do. And yet he gets shit.


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[Assistant] Let's think about that. Of course I would. We should do it then. Of course I would. We should go and do that and then get the... See the edit.


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[Assistant] In a perfect world, it'd be great if we had these fucken, we could train people, we could have our little army and they'd be going out, we're developing relationships with people and animals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys, you guys, well that's, it's okay when the slaves are all from all different races, it's fine.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's all inclusive. Yeah. Or if they're animals. Mhm.


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[Assistant] He brought chips too, so he wasn't that guy that brought some.


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[Assistant] This is tense. I thought there was drama. The second comment's not gonna be able to be nearly as good as this one. It's gonna be a letdown the next comment. You wanna talk about a sponsor, Simon? Yeah, oh, that's a perfect time!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Simple Contacts lets you renew your prescription and reorder your contacts from anywhere in minutes. You just take a quick self-guided vision test from your phone or computer. It gets reviewed by a licensed doctor in 24 hours. Then you get a renewed prescription and you can reorder your contacts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's that simple and the prices are unbeatable with free standard shipping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now everyone can get $20 off the first Simple Contacts order. Just go to simplecontacts.com slash Neebs20 or enter the code Neebs20 at checkout. That's simplecontacts.com slash Neebs20.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we weren't there in the beginning because we got there. The day of. We got there the day of. They opened in the morning and we probably landed the plane at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. So we were just like, when we got there, there were people there. Our Uber took us straight there. Yea, we just went right there, hung out for a couple hours. So that's, but other than that, we were there. So...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The plant was, listen, it was all, I think it was 80% because of the plant. Guaranteed. Where did you steal that plant from?


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[Assistant] I don't even know, like, what I think is a gourd is something that my mom would put out fake, you know, the fake weird shit. Yea, you don't even eat them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. But back to the CVD though, it does work, it's right, so if you're, if you're...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Suffering from any of these things, any, so many things. Just do research. So it could be pain. What are some of the symptoms? Pain, anxiety is apparently very big. Pain is big and pain is really, it's not like it's making the pain go away. It's the perception of your pain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's also great for healing so many things.


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[Assistant] No, it's not supposed to, it's not supposed to come up in your screen, but a lot of websites will tell you that they can't say it won't, but I've heard from so many businesses that claim it, big businesses that claim that it doesn't. Plus there's a lot of THC free products out there too. So anyway, options, research. Dr. Simon Poop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. And they're, and they're really good food. So if you happen to be in the region.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think even if he said it's good, we just need to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, Penneball Jack. What a good brand. The best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Harry Potato says, guys, the parasaur radar ability doesn't only detect enemy players, they detect unfriendly creatures. Also the reason you couldn't do that before or never knew was because it was added very recently in an update when useless was around, it was never a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need to take our parasaur out. I agree. But does that other information, detecting other animals is good? Huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rusty Garnet says, Jim Carrey, enlightened.


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[Assistant] Right, but that was so long ago. But it's over, and you just go like that's something that you can't judge somebody on like a choice that they made for four months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could think that. Imagine being him. Imagine being somebody like all of a sudden he went from being like a regular person struggling who's fucked up with all like crazy things going on in his head to like being crazy famous. Imagine what that would do to somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is my last comment, and I brought it up before, but I want to see if, you know, if I officially get it green lit, I might do it, because it's so fucking easy. Go for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the Fallout player says, and this has been said many times before, Simon's sandwich cooking show. Would you guys be okay with me making like a three minute video on a day that we weren't doing anything over the shoulder, you just see my hands and I make a sandwich?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Will you do me a favor? Maybe you can't, or whatever, I'll figure it out, but uh, I mean, I could ask Anthony, but Anthony's also shit the bed when it comes down to this as well. Yeah, he has. So, I don't know, like, I know I'm not the best person, but I also know that I'll be able to make it look halfway decent, and it's gonna be more about the content in which I'm saying, which is gonna sound good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good quality. Uh huh. The visual will look pretty good and it'll be me making a sandwich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you be there and talk to me while I do it? Yeah! Fine! I love cooking! I just, I mean- New channel! Fuck these guys! The sandwich that I would make, it's not like I know how to make great sandwiches, it's just that I know how to make sandwiches that I like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, trust me, I know, but the thing is this, I want you to be all in on what I'm making, I don't want you to give me shit, I will agree upon it, but either that or I gotta do it solo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I started watching, uh, Arrested Development again. I haven't seen it since it first came out. And, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you know what though? I like Marc Maron. I think he's fucking- He is so good. He's great. I love his pocket. Yeah, he's, he's the guy, and I like his show on IFC. Yeah, it's just Maron. Maron. Yeah. Which is really good too, so I highly recommend that. I don't even know if they do that anymore. But the chick who's in it, you ever see Community? Alison Brie. Yeah, she's great. She was also in a movie that I just saw in the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Theaters or something, but anyway, uh, she's really good at it, and it is funny, it's very 80s, but I'm not, like, I've seen it up there, and I've not gone to the second season of it. I'm also like that Westworld, and for some reason, the hesitation with me, I might not go back, I don't know why, even though I liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That freaked me out when I was a kid, cause I know it was like repeats that were, you know, old shit was on TV when I was a kid, and I couldn't watch more than a couple minutes of that, and like, back in the day, like, Fantasy Island reruns, for some reason, that show always had a scary element in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he's such an interesting character, I would find it hard to not be interested in him. Like how he became to be, you know? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In those kind of movies? Yea, I know. I think recently there was somebody who was directing some sort of action type movie that had only done comedy and did really well. John Favreau, well that's different though, there was a lot of comedy in Iron Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was their fault throwing them under the bus. I'm just kidding, sorry. He just did. But uh, but you didn't like, I never saw the movie.


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[Assistant] I'm just happy to be here. This was a blast. And thank you to Black Tux and Simple Contacts. And for real, you need to just sign us out though, for real, like officially you, Daniel. That's what anytime people come, that's what they do. So make it entertaining. No one ever comes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sold them hostage. Walked out. Oh boy. Ada, I was banging the mic around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Naked. We just got off the recording of a fresh Minecraft. The freshest of fresh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got a comment right now from Thicc44. Oh, what's Thicc44 have to say? Thicc44 says he's having a little bit of fun playing Minecraft. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, I was getting a little frustrated. Flip flops. Because, uh, that's my key to happiness, or the key to making myself feel better. If I play Apex or something and I do bad, then I just get on Battlefield and I farm everybody. Do you? I do! Go farming on Battlefield. What's that mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, Neebs, you're completely disconnected from every


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have no idea. Hey, you're holding the comments hostage. I am, I am, but it is. I'm just trying to beat you to the punch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of portraits. Yeah, that's good to know. Portrait, if you see a portrait, smack it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll kill anything that moves. Neebs and I found something fun. No spoilers though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I've seen that, but yeaah. It's not the farm we're staying at. No. Carl's corn. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen mods on PC where somebody's replaced that guy with like Shrek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a multiplier when you damage a zombie without being seen? I feel like there's a multiplier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thick, are you looking for one? I'm looking through our Twitter comments because someone posted a death count and I think, I think it was Sea of Thieves, like. Oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can only imagine who's died the most. Only imagine.


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[Assistant] Yeah. It was all of a sudden, whap, whap. That's one of those games you really gotta be looking around constantly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta Minecraft this too. I mean yea, there's creepers. Creepers will mess you up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's great. I think yeaah, I am too. It's just fun being in that world. We got a great, uh, uh, Alex set us up with a great seed. That world has a lot of different biomes, a lot of variety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if 18 comes out and it resets everything and we have to get in there and create new characters, I propose- I do too. We cheat!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we'll figure it out. I agree. Cheat. No, that would be a situation where I feel cheating would be justified. We'll make it as seamless as possible. We've cheated on someone. That'll be the title.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yep. Right. Bam. And we all have, uh, Lamborghinis that Daniel's sending us. Yep. He doesn't know it yet, but I've. That was our deal. We hacked this. I sent the email.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why not? What if I wanna yell at somebody? Well, it's good for the end of days. The lights? Yeah. Lights are good. Lights are good if you're, uh, fishing, hunting, or camping. A winch?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when's, when's she going to get you out of the mud if you get stuck? If you do muddin'. I just got, I just lifted my Jeep and you talk about your dream car. That was my dream car. I want, I wanted a Jeep. I wanted to lift it. I want to do muddin' and I'm, yeah, go to the mountains. This is big 44. I don't need that. I'm going muddin'. I get kills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to drive the Tesla pickup truck. It looks like something from Halo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that? Is it from Halo? The Warthog? The Warthog. It looks, yeah. Okay. Yeah, look it up. It kind of does. Now they're sharp looking trucks. They are. I'm, and the stats on it, uh, seem pretty good. Yeah. As far as towing capacity. And distance. Never even seen this thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy looking. That looks like something I drew when I was seven. Mommy, look at this car! The wheels are covered, the doors go up. It looks like a Batmobile. Yeah, it looks a little bit like that. The squareness on the wheels freak me out. I don't like the wheel look. I can't wait until there's a flat tire.


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[Assistant] Look at that crazy guy loving his lights. He must love flashing them lights like that. I mean, it is fun. I know it would be abused, but I would love a system where I could send a text to the car in front of me. Yeah. Like if every car was just wired into the same network and had a little screen in there. What would you say? Uh, sometimes, uh, merge right?


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[Assistant] Yeah, as far as using Manscaped, I mean, probably once every five times I would nick it. I would nick them. And I would curse my family's name for giving me hairy balls. And I'm like, God, why do I have these hairy balls? And then now I didn't. Yeah, it's, it's freedom. Silky freedom. Like a newborn mountain goat. That's what I meant.


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[Assistant] Uh, recently, had a great price for free shipping, for real, it's a really good deal. Recently we've lost six pounds of gold here, so if you the viewer has found, it's probably ours. Any gold, it's ours. Yeah, let's go ahead and send it back.


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[Assistant] I'll say $6,000. How much does a hound? A bar of beer.


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[Assistant] They were all dirty too. Like Prince dressed like that for a while too though. And he killed it. He can pull it off. Well the wig thing, if I'm not mistaken, was to hide syphilis. Okay.


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[Assistant] I heard that. I heard about that. Alright, so the symptoms of syphilis, sores, rashes, blindness, dementia, and tellingly, hair loss. So because of its association with the disease, baldness was a highly embarrassing condition. Thicc.


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[Assistant] Long hair was trendy, uh, practically a status symbol. Going bald can make you lose your reputation. Yes, even if you were the 18th century equivalent of Vin Diesel.


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[Assistant] You see where this is going. Wig makers, wig makers started cranking out artificial cofus? Coif, coifers? Coffee?


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[Assistant] The last, yeah, PlayStation, uh, State of Play was just going on. The only news I saw from it so far that had anything was that The Last of Us 2 is coming out in February?


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[Assistant] Well, you mentioned the revolution earlier. I saw a play, Hamilton, the musical that had to do with the revolution. That was wonderful. That was probably one of my favorite musicals that I've ever seen right up there with Mamma Mia.


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[Assistant] And to see it all come together was great. Saw some old friends, Pony Lion, uh, Stone Mountain was there.


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[Assistant] Chris Mansel. Braddock. Yep, Braddock. Oh, Braddock. Syphilis Rabbit was there. Syphilis Rabbit, damn me tree. All of our good friends, or a lot of our good friends at least, had a blast. It was my first time in Chicago. Have any of you guys been to Chicago? Many times.


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[Assistant] Chicago, Chicago. I feel so uncultured because.


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[Assistant] Luamades, did you not take a picture of it? Yeah, I took it. Can I please look?


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[Assistant] The ever, the ever seeing pizza. Uh, and they like tweeted to me and stuff, which was cool. Um, because someone was like, Hey, you should go down there and get a pizza. And they, they tagged me and I was like, Oh, I went there. And they're like tweeting back and forth and they actually deliver, they, they ship pizzas out to people.


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[Assistant] Like $35 a piece though, like across the country. See, to me that's nothing. Across the country. Yeah. That's, that's really not bad. Do it, Simon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do it, yeaah, do it for us. I think that would be- We can put it in my mom's oven, or, or Apstar's oven. I don't think I'd want to, I want to do it.


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[Assistant] It was heavy. 35 bucks, that's not bad at all. It was, it was great. I'm not gonna say it's my favorite, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. That's a better out than what I had, you're right. Yep, yep. No, let's go back to that. Yeah. A guy choked on a deep dish pizza whatch, proposing to his wife.


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[Assistant] Yeah, by the way, in case you've forgotten, we are missing


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[Assistant] I think we're gonna do some comments, okay?


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[Assistant] What I was gonna bring up, I learned today on the good ol' NPRs was uhm, you know your dry spices in the cupboard? Yea. Apparently, you're supposed to replace those like every 90 days.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they can go bad. They go bad. Yeah, but 90 days is insane. Well 90 days, this is coming from a top chef person.


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[Assistant] She doesn't gain anything by you replacing. She wanted you to know that that's the way to go.


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[Assistant] Yep. Or is it in your fridge? Glue? Glue doesn't go bad. It goes bad. Not glue. Baking soda.


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[Assistant] That's like saying, like, I hate noses, but actually I just hate snot, but it comes from a nose. It's not like saying that at all. It is. That's a horrible example. I disagree.


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[Assistant] No, wait, wait, wait. Here we go. It's conflicting, it's conflicting.


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[Assistant] But you know what? This is the problem, Simon. Yeah. Is your mention of all these things that no one else gets to experience. I know, I'm just making conversation because we're doing a podcast. You're crying wolf, to a degree.


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[Assistant] Because on the video it also said there'd be a part two. So good job reading. On the bright side, something Duralius made actually works for once. And I was like, oh, they didn't see the tank. Oh, it's my little, it was the retreat.


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[Assistant] I like that. I'm in. Uhm, let's see, uh, this one is also from that same video from, the text is very small, so I apologize.


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[Assistant] Been a lot of short videos being cut up into two-parters and such lately. Hopefully it's a temp theme because of holidays, your vids at 25 to 30 minutes are a great sweet spot. Nonetheless,


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[Assistant] An entertaining but short video. I think there were two? Well, yeaah, I split human fall flat into two.


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[Assistant] Which worked. Which ends up being four. So now there's four. So there's two videos. Two videos cut in half.


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[Assistant] So, uh, yeah, our weekend lineup, they tend to be in that 20 minute range or more, maybe 18 to.


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[Assistant] Nor do I, because I don't think a lot of people have the, I mean, I'm sure a lot of people want to see a 25 to 30 minute video and that's why I brought this comment up, but that is a lot of time.


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[Assistant] He was really edited down a little bit more. At some point, because we record two days, we all record, timing wise, a 30 minute video, that's like, that's a week dead and then I still need another video for the fall, you know how this works.


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[Assistant] God, and this snot is just horrible smelling. What's it taste like? You said it taste weird. It's, it's so unique. This is a fun.


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[Assistant] I can't compare to any of yours. No. None of this is like bile. I can't compare it to anything, not even bile. But it is not good.


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[Assistant] Keep it in. Show some pictures. Why would anyone? Because it's real life stuff. It's a science man.


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[Assistant] What is it? So this is uh, Human Fall Flat.


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[Assistant] Why, you seem like a guy that would condition. I put product in my hair, so it's like, I make it from the soft fluffies to this pasty mess.


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[Assistant] But, uh, conflict in comments. Farmboy1529 says, dumbest fucking game ever. Even you guys can't make this shit entertaining. Yeah, I totally disagree. And then of course, uh,


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[Assistant] It's like, that's a game you could show someone who didn't game, and just the, just seeing how the characters walk around and how they interact with each other is genuinely entertaining. In my opinion.


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[Assistant] Next one's from, uh, let's see. This is from an arc that I don't think I was in, where you made the wolf box.


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[Assistant] This is from Alyssa Marie. She said, can I just point out that the wolf box did technically do its job at trapping a wolf? The one that abstract was writing. Yes.


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[Assistant] But that was pretty funny and obviously a good point by Alyssa because yeaah, it did capture a wolf.


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[Assistant] And I'm all over the place and I apologize, this is from a Conan episode. And I think it's from the last one that came. So it might have been... The snake. Uh, the sewer snake. Maybe. No, or, we don't know. Gargoyles? I'm not sure. Doesn't matter. Wee-jone. Wee-gee-on. Wee-gee-one. Says, this is quoting you, Simon. It's a bridge waterfall. That's weird.


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[Assistant] It's an aqueduct. They are in almost every movie that involves the Roman Empire. I know you aren't that dumb, Simon, but you should stop taking the role of the dummy in every single video. Let Neebs take that role once in a while with his redneck science.


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[Assistant] Alright guys, I gotta run. I gotta run. I'm so shortly behind you. Wait, no, we're only 20 minutes in. I know, but I need to get me some antibiotics. You two left the last podcast as well. They did. No, but listen, Simon.


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[Assistant] Oh no, it, it, like right now after I blew my nose, I am smelling it every breath. Like it's going into my, you know, my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Auto is conditioner. Alright, probably a good time to leave then, eh?