[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like a lot of comedy writers and uh, people who've been really funny on Twitter and then gone on to be comedy writers and all the rest of it. So yeah, it's a very interesting place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well he can definitely, uh, he can definitely accept as, uhm, solace I suppose, that Uwe Boll is one of the worst directors that ever directed film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the most pathetic response to criticism. If you are called out for being bad at something and people say, I don't like your movies, I think they suck and tell you why. To then say, yeah, well, I will fight you. It's the boxing rings and let's just take it to the mat. Come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to just say, I think there have actually been quite a few advances, but they're not applicable yet. So, I know that stem cells is a big thing, cause if I understand it, and obviously, I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm just saying what I've read.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you, it stopped making new cells. Okay, there you go. So when they get too short, you stop being able to replicate new cells and, and it all starts to go wrong and you get old and die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you could reverse that, you wouldn't have that problem. Especially, you know, if you could do it in people's brains, we wouldn't have people going senile and all the rest of it. Brains wouldn't decay. So I know that the fact they even know how this works and that there are ways that they can do things and stem cells, stem cell research is meant to be very promising.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So America obviously being a big engine of medical technology, if they're holding it up, you're kind of relying on other people doing it. And because of the nature of the American healthcare system,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's because basically you use fetuses, not like little babies, but like tiny clumps of cells.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of strange to me that that's the case in America, which has specifically limited the effects of religion, you know, in the constitution, all that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this week I finished reading a book that I'd started some time ago. I don't know if you guys do this, but I'll get a book, I'll start reading it, and then I'll get distracted by something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's about the special, I think it's special operations executive, which was basically- Special operations executive. You fucking-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should have international networks of spies to keep an eye on and potentially disrupt enemy activities and stuff like that. Uhm, so the SOE was tasked all over the world. They went everywhere. Like they dropped them into France and like Yugoslavia and all around there, Greece, Burma, everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was crazy because they'd be given these missions like, go into the jungle, meet the hill tribe people that live there, get them onside and then just give the Japs a bloody nose. And they would be sort of off there for months living off the land or very basic supply drops that the planes would come in and drop to them. It was bonkers, like it was like this un...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unseen side of the war. Uh, I don't know how much difference it would have made, but it certainly kept them, you know, them busy. I mean, because the Japanese were obviously trying to push through Burma and then potentially all the way to India, because that would have been a huge get for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going fr- from China all the way through to India, it's just like the worst infrastructure, the roughest terrain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But tribes of people living in the deep jungle and in the hills and those areas, in places like, like Burma, which is now Myanmar I think, and all the rest of it, that were sort of, you know, opposed to anybody fucking coming in. But the Brits went in and said like, look, we want to kill the Japanese as well, are you with us? And they were like, absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this was to mess with the Ottomans. So, along the coast of the Red Sea, and to recapture Mecca, that was the idea. So they got all the, this was, you know, the Ottomans were obviously, in World War I, uh, the Ottoman Empire was on the side of the, the, uh, Germans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's why we, you know, we got the Australians to, um, to fight them at, uh, Gallipoli and, and places like that, which was a disaster of our making. Um, so yeaah, I guess they sent him in there to try and, what they call the Arab revolt, which is where they got a whole bunch of the tribes and stuff to go and, uh, and fuck with the Ottomans. It was pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do think it's interesting how often things like this happen and then subsequently some awful thing comes out of it. I mean, for example, uh, like you think you're doing the right thing at the time, you're doing what's necessary at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then it, then it leads to catastrophe later. For example, the Taliban is a prime example of that, who were funded by the CIA and they were, you know, to fight the Russians during the Russian-Afghan war. And then subsequently, of course, became the Taliban.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this is the interesting thing is quite often, uhm, you would have to help a group of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, for instance, Greece was a mess because there were a lot of different factions in Greece. And this is something that I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you pick the right side to back you and you say, hey, we'll come in on your side, we just want help with, you know, overthrowing the government and then we'll be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what are those guys doing day to day? Like imagine if I'm, let's say, let's say I'm a communist revolutionary leader, right? What's my day? What do I do? I'm in, I'm in Greece in 1939.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there must just be all the time, and they're doing- I guess they're doing pamphlets. Giving speeches. Oh, they're doing pamphlets?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just wondering what they did, like day to day, how much of it was just talking to, like, I guess you're always looking to recruit people, but you, it would be like the Mafia in that you wanna keep a distance, you wanna have underlings to go out and do your bidding, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to the movies. Oh my god. Wait, did you go see Dune? No, I'm gonna see that. I was gonna see that this afternoon or at some point by myself. I was just gonna go see it. I might see it at the weekend. I don't know. I do. I do really want to see it, but I saw the French dispatch instead because I'm a big wuss out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's essentially about a magazine called the French Dispatch and it's a series of three stories, three, it's like a three-part. Does it have all the usual?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, but it is very, very good. It has some really funny moments, but overall I would say it falls down compared to his other works because it doesn't have that one central character who is so fascinating. Like Roar Tenenbaum, uh, from the Roar Tenenbaums.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a great movie, but like Steve Zissou, Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, his character is so good and everything kind of hinges off everybody's relationships with this character and how it all-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's kind of weird when you take away that anchor, how the film...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause she loved Modern Family, she loved The Office, and now she loves this show. But she also watches a lot of anime with her older sister. They watch anime. What's that one about a classroom? Something about a classroom?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're in a classroom and some kid has powers and they laugh their heads off at it. I'm like, this sucks. This is not funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember so? And so I was like, yeah, yeah, I do. I do, of course. Anyone of my age does remember that. It doesn't evoke emotions just because you've said it. That's not nostalgia. Nostalgia is a feeling. It's not something you can evoke by just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, it's just a wonderful, gentle show that really is evocative of its era and I just love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tempest is, I've never seen a game like Tempest, I think they remade it recently. But it's essentially, it's a video game where you're looking at a sort of wire frame tunnel and creatures come up the tunnel towards you. The controller was a dial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you have to turn the dial and shoot down the tunnel. That's the whole game. Like, you just spin the dial to move your contro- So imagine if I'm looking down a cylinder, although it's not always a cylinder, it changes shape, and there are things coming up the cylinder towards me, and I'm controlling something that's on the lip of the cylinder that's closest to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. It's too long. We had, we had fireworks night the other night. I went to, we did it at the kids' school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well actually my youngest school, sorry. Uhm, and I helped out this time, which I don't normally do. Holy crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck, we can call them dogs, but I couldn't call them hot dogs at this point, and I'm sorry, cold dogs. He's an ice cold, like they were literally rock hard, the fat had all solidified. Cause it was a cold night, and we would understand that. I thought it was gonna be like a minute left of the fireworks. Literally 20 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember, uh, in the, in the 80s, there was a, a uhm, there were a lot of warnings about fireworks. Yeah. Because I think prior to that, people just fucking shotted on each other, no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, there was one where a little girl picks up a sparkler that's just gone out, and someone throws it on the floor and she picks it up and, in the advert she's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want them thrown indoors. Well, they're probably just the, those snappy things in the little bag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a... Black snake is a term that can refer to two similar types of firework. The pharaoh snake and the sugar snake. The pharaoh snake or pharaoh serpent is the original version of the black snake experiment. It produces a more impressive snake, but its execution depends upon mercury-2-thiocyanate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or it just, it just either goes too fast and just cunts it down the stairs, or it goes two steps and then goes, uh, and just sort of gives up. It's a very, very precise, I mean the advert, they've obviously fucking done their lab experience. The correct angle of the stairs has to be as far as you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the fact is that the way the internet works, especially with things like TikTok that gets me, is that content is up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until it's been reviewed or reported enough times that they take it down. It would be like if in television we had infinite channels and you're browsing through the channels and you stumble upon a TikTok where someone says that, you know, I don't want to get political or anything, but vaccines are evil and here's me pulling a microchip out of my arm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that doesn't get taken down or challenged at all. It just exists. And your kids are watching it. That's what fucking burns me up. Is that at least with television, it's regulated. There are fines if you fuck up. There are departments at these stations whose entire job


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is to make sure that you comply with regulations and laws. I mean, any things like gambling you can't advertise is very, very, very specific instances you can, but you have to be very careful how you do it. None of that exists online. And the idea is, oh, this is to enable content creators. It's the fucking wild west. And if you have kids,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They still, there is still a further gatekeeper they need to get through to get that stuff. They're parents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think it's so so sad that uhm, that this is where we've got to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to do these things, right? I remember, when I was working as a shitty medical typist at the Broomfield Hospital, the thing that got me there was that the hotel had quite a nice, weirdly, canteen, and I was excited to go and have the fry-up breakfast every morning, because I got it for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm only messing. I think it's a very, it's a very huge, it's a huge achievement for both of you. That is, as someone who isn't even married, like, I mean, how long, how old would I have to be to have a 20 year wedding anniversary right now? I'd have to be 57. That's pretty scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's unhealthy, for sure. The only way I could, like, at all understand what this is like is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I'd be reading Adam Buxton's sort of first book. Right, right, right. Big fan of Adam Buxton, he's a comedian, he's got a good podcast. He's good, yeah. You know, I think big inspiration for us as podcast people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He keeps a log, every time he has an argument with his wife, he keeps a little log of it, uhm, of what was the triggering factor, and then, you know, how, who, who, what the main points were on both sides. Who was in the wrong, it's always her. And then who ends up winning, if you like. But arguments are often precipitated by something incredibly trivial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then bring out more withdrawn frustration. Do you know what I mean? That is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That has built up over time. An argument often isn't about what you're actually arguing about. It's about like more stuff that's annoyed you over the course of, and it's often like slightly weird stuff that's triggered the argument that you wouldn't normally, it's not always about the dishwasher or leaving the towels on the floor or something. It's about, I don't know, like uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he wanted to get a picture of his face painted on his shed, right, because some local artists would want to paint his face on his shed. His wife just wouldn't allow it because she had to look at the shed every day out the window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can also understand how your partner, you could just be like, oh, I wouldn't think she'd have a problem with this, why would she have a problem with this? And then, even once she's told you why, it's still hard to get it into your head. But yes, so I'm reading this book, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's this kind of, I think it's part one and it's sort of a combination of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Random stories from nowadays, we're coupled with kind of looking back into the 80s, because I think Adam, he went through this trouble where his dad died, and then a week later David Bowie died, and they were both very big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kind of parts of his life. I think he always, some part of him always assumed that David Bowie was gonna be eternal and be, you know, when finally his time came aliens would come along and beam him up or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shagging around. That's how it works. So, I wonder whether I should keep a diary, not of my sexual conquests, because quite honestly that could be written on the back of a receipt. Well, I think in 2021.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do do stuff. I do do stuff. What have I done this week though? And I realised we did the uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Olympics thing this week, P-Flex, didn't we? Yes, we did, yeah. So, P-Flex came down and... Oh, I heard about this. I wasn't sure what it was. So, there were two British Olympians, Team GB. Yeah. One was a modern pentathlete, Jo Muir. Jo Muir. Jo Muir. And the other... She's Scottish. Yeah. I don't think you were supposed to pronounce it as


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god bless them. But of course she's a modern pentathlete. She is incredibly fit, obviously. Excuse me? Just really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, just, just, not quite, not very, not a big woman, not like, about my height, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good at everything. You know, swimming, cycling, fencing, horse riding, everything. And it's like, she's just obviously


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She just looks incredibly sporty, like, well, like, like, like, the perfect human, human, we sent her into space, do you know what I mean? Yeah. To like, colonise the future planets, like, the perfect human. If there was a scene in a movie where they were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, 100%. And really nice as well. And then it was, uh, Charlotte Worthyton, who also is incredibly, uh, obviously in great shape. She's the gold medal BMX winner. And me, slouching, slightly hunched over, slightly sweaty. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, my greasy hair, and uh, where are these, where are these clothes that they'd sent me that were one size too big? Uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like, it makes me look even worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I was just impressed because as a Brit, I still am not used to the idea of it raining, right? Because I don't go outside enough for it to be a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, as soon as it started raining, they were just, they didn't, they didn't bat an eyelid. They didn't like try and make for cover or pick up an umbrella or say, oh shit, I forgot my umbrella. There was none of that. That's what I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, okay, I'll just, I'll just, I'll just go over here, I guess. So we did like a sports day, uhm, for charity. It was for the Red Cross. We're gonna put a couple of videos out, and if you're interested in donating to the Red Cross, you can still go ahead and do that, uhm, and the video will be somewhere. You'll be able to find it. There's already a couple of fan cuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and so it was my team, of me and these Olympians versus Hat Films, who, uh, were both fine, but also they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It felt like it was a bit rigged, uhm, obviously. Which it was, because we did things like fencing and BMX. It was a little rigged.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're great fun. They're really, they're really, they're really positive, good energy. So yeah, so, uh, so for example, in the fencing, the first round was, was Joe, who's obviously an Olympic fencer. And she was like, oh, this is, this is the one I'm worst at in the pentathlon. And I'm like, what are you talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any of these guys. And so, she obviously went up to fight, I think Ross went and fought her with a sword, and obviously, Ross sort of looked at me and was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, he went out there and he just sort of danced around him and poked him a few times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, Sharla, obviously, who's, who's, who's uhm, obviously only does BMX, right? She's never picked up a sword before. Had to go up against Trot. And what was going through Trot's mind was, how do I hit this girl with a sword?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And not look like a complete dick. But it turns out that Charlotte is just like a devil, um, and just didn't give a shit and just totally went for it and he was left like trying to defend himself and like trying to fight her off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were just slamming into each other with reckless abandon, and uhm, well we obviously had these foam swords so it was fine, but man, like, one time he caught me in the neck and it was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's really what I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We started looking around for other places. Four grand! And I know what it's exp- it's a whole football field and they've got a whole like, indoor bit and they've got, you know, internet. They- they obviously- people- I think hosts- I dunno, weddings there, who knows what they have there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uhm, old, old Tom Bates starts looking around for other places and they found like a rugby, a rugby sort of field with a little rugby pavilion. It's sort of, it was kind of this wide boy who was touring him around. Right. So obviously he, he was, he was talking about, oh sorry, how am I going to get paid? Is it cash in hand?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, what's the deal? And so, you know, Tom was just like, oh, yeah, sure, whatever. And then, um, afterwards he emailed the rugby club, but accidentally cc'd in us, um, saying, I've got these mugs who, a quick 500 quid turnaround, no problem. Do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So obviously we were then presented with either use this rugby guy, this or, or nothing really, or pay a lot of money for Clifton College, but it turns out that we know someone who works at Clifton College


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so our guys got in contact with them, who got in contact with them, and we managed to knock them down a bit. So, we just didn't want to go with the rugby guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, just thought it would be a nightmare. So, in the end, they, Clifton College, were like, oh yeaah, it is for charity, we can, we can, we can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's stories, right? Like, like things that, when I'm an old man, um, my, your, your, your grandchildren come round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One to remember. Nice. So yeah, that was, that was a joy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why we, that's why we do it. I find it awkward, I don't really wanna do it, I must admit. Right. It's awkward. What, podcasting? Uhm, no, well both, yeah sure. Right. Let's just, we've done a good 189 episodes. That's just a lot of episodes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that too, it's worth watching. I do like the eccentric, weird, surreality of Tim and Eric's stuff. I like it too, but I like the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I thought it was okay until I watched the episode where, with the, the shithole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I have got the impression he is a bit of a weird guy, but I think, I think that, I think some people are just committed, you know, and I respect that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Playing a character. Well, I think you become the character that you play. We've talked about this before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uhm, I talked about me writing a diary. I noted two other things down this week. One was that I got the letter from HSBC that said they were shutting down my business bank account, which is a bit of a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's quite important. Uh, and so I had to fill out all of this stupid, uhm, anti-money laundering garbage, which is apparently


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a pain in the ass to take pictures of my passport and stuff and I blowed those. It was just a nightmare. And the thing is, while I was doing it, the website was logging itself off in the background every fucking five minutes for security reasons, so of course,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd have to keep starting again. It was a nightmare. I did that. I thought I'd mentioned that. The other thing I did was I hung out with Boba and I told her a little story and she told me a little story and it's the kind of thing that I want listeners to send me, right? They're like just awkward stories about everyday life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the other day I was picking up a box of vegetables for a friend from a shop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, fairly, there's, there's these big veggie shops, I buy vegetables, I like making stupid stuff, it's fine, I've never done this before though, I've never gone and come to this place and picked up vegetables. Don't judge me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I went there, and I turned up, and the woman at the counter said, oh yeaah, I've, I've, it's outback.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I laughed, okay, and she hurri- didn't sort of react and hurried off. And then a man, a different man, a man came back with a covered box of vegetables and he looked at me seriously and he said, sorry sir, it's all vegetables.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all turd, it's all turd. Sorry sir, it's all turd, it's all turd. He made the same joke. Uhm, so I was like. Ha ha ha. Really? Because I wasn't actually, at that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wasn't sure whether he was joking or not. And then obviously he looked at me awkwardly as if to say, are you an idiot? Uh, of course it's a joke. And then it was just a box of random vegetables that they had leftover that were all sort of going out of date.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It went through this like thing in my head where I was like, was the first woman not joking? And I just laughed in her face. And then, you know, like there was this whole moment where I doubted myself. I was still like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, so, so this was uhm, this was a bit of a moment for me, so, I, I, anyway, it's fine, we made some soup and it was all good, but uhm, it was a nice time, had a very, it was a nice social event. Before we carry


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's right. You can get 20% off of free shipping by going to manscaped.com slash triforce. Your balls will thank you. Uh, on with the show. Uh, what else? So yeah, Boba then told me her story, which I think I can recount. She won't mind. Um, she was getting an Uber Eats. It was just turnips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was just a story of awkward things that happened. So, she's waiting for Uber Eats, and the man turns up outside and starts putting stuff down on the pavement. So she comes out of her house, and obviously it's America, so she's got her cash tip ready. She's got


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you come up to the, to the house, I'll give you a tip. So he's expecting a tip as well, the guy who's just turned up. Oh crap. I know, it's a disaster. I've told the story worse than she told it, which is, which she'll be mad at me for, but I still think it's worth, worth recounting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you, do you wait for the other person whose delivery you mistakenly assumed yours was to come out of their house and tip? Because then that guy might get a double tip, is what I'm saying, but then you have to stop them and say, sorry, no, I've already tipped your man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not that, it's not that huge of a muddle, it's more of just a sort of slight, a small accident that leads to awkward social consequences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the problem is that what you tend to get is the companies always keep that, though, do you know what I mean? They're always so scummy, they don't give it back to Starbucks. That tip basically just becomes extra revenue for the Starbucks or whoever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the price you pay though, you know, for, for being a person. I guess so, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world is a maze of social traps, uh, you have to navigate it. Like a series of orcs blundering to their death, uh, blindly. So yea, I'm trying to analogize it for you. So depressing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, I feel like what you're leading to, though, is like, it's almost like a series of rules that are obeyed completely irrationally. It's like, our hero cannot have any help from anyone. Even if that includes someone putting a bandage on him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think everything has to lead into, feedback into that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not that mad, even though the rules are that they don't make sense when you think about them. At the time, it just brushes over the idiot part of your brain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it teaches bad lessons, you know? Do you know what I mean? Like, you certainly see, you certainly do meet people who, who it feels like everything they've learned has been from watching...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stupid TV. And they behave and say things that stupid TV characters say. Um, I definitely meet these people, and I'm always sort of surprised by, like, how they don't think about what they're doing. Like, it certainly happens when you see arguments and stuff, like, people just seem to quote contra- contra-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like TV characters, they say, it's a feedback loop as well, right? Because then people are like, oh, this is how


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is how people, I've recorded these people having a real argument, which obviously is not real because it's just them.


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[Assistant] I honestly don't think I'd buy a box of chocolates if I didn't know what was in there. Do you know what I mean? I don't want to get random. It's like a, life is like a box of vegetables. A box of turnips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of good food going to waste in your place apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're filling up your bag in a supermarket from one of those big things, take a picture and tweet it at us. No, I will not, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you everyone for listening today. You can follow Triforce or Spotify to get new episodes as soon as they come out every Wednesday. And until next week, I love you. Take it easy. Have fun. Goodbye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, no, she's starting to sort of do that, like uhm, if, if she's, if she's had milk and stuff and she's just awake and comfortable, she'll look back at you and smile and stuff, but any other time, if she's like trying to poop, she won't, obviously, if she needs milk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's just screaming, so she's not smiling much then either, but uhm.


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[Assistant] They're very simple, they're basic, right? But like a tremendous responsibility and they consume just a lot of your time and effort as well. But it's worth it, because then they grow up into little people who can like farm gold for you and wow and stuff. And I mean, the payoff is immense when you finally get there. That's the dream. Yeah, the dream, yeah.


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[Assistant] Well, this is the thing, like, in like, uh, Europe and stuff especially, there's no room to bury people anymore, right? They're just running out of space. So I think that's why in the end they were just like, let's cremate people instead. It's easier, right?


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[Assistant] I don't want somebody to find my bones or anything, like, I just want, like, all traces of, uh, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,


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[Assistant] I'm pretty sure it was in England. The only reason I know it was in England is because these people, they were holding up, they had like a festival outside and uhm, it was like a celebration of life for this young guy who passed away. I'm not sure of the circumstances, I only saw the picture.


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[Assistant] I feel like that would be such a cool skill to have. Imagine, okay, your full time job is arrow fire at like a, you know, at a canoe going down a river and you have to set it alight and you get really good at it and it turns out you can then sort of like hit any target but then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine you use those skills just day to day, like you're never in a situation of like combat or warfare or whatever, but it's just like, oh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. And you cast your eyes across the room and it's like, you're at a ren fair and you're like, hell yeah, time to go. Like everybody's dressed for the part to enjoy some archery, right? Like, you know that's your time to shine. So all you gotta do is find yourself in a room filled with people like that. That's all you need.


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[Assistant] They try, they try to modernize it sometimes. I feel like if they did nowadays, it would just be a total mess, you know.


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[Assistant] Trying to think of that, that line, that time. No, it's, it would be, uhm, I don't know if they can do it, you know. I think, I think it's gone, it's too old now, right? It's, it's now, people just want to watch it.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I can't remember at school if we did much Shakespeare. I think uhm, I think you could take like sort of an advanced English class, like when you got to the point in school where you could pick what classes and what credits you needed sort of thing, but I never did.


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[Assistant] Shakespeare, you know, like I said, I think you could do it, but I never did because I was, uh,


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[Assistant] I think actually there was, there was a lot of stuff that happened before Columbus though as well, right? Columbus was kind of like, he's kind of known. Yeah, there was, there was, there were a lot of expeditions before Columbus, but Columbus is, I think just for whatever reason became the, the most known or the most, the most popular, but like, like a lot of discoveries were made prior to him.


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[Assistant] I don't know how people leave their house and give a shit. You know what I mean? I was just amazed at that. I don't know how people leave their house and confront people that they don't know. You know what I mean? Like, I try to avoid speaking to anybody. Like, if I absolutely have to speak to somebody, I will. Like, to pay for something or if I need help finding something or whatever.


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[Assistant] But if somebody's doing something stupid, I just fucking walk away. Like I'm not gonna be like engaging on any level. I'm not gonna talk to them. I'm not gonna be passive aggressive with them. Nothing. Like it's just like I'm out of there. I don't get how people can be bothered to invite.


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[Assistant] Holy shit, man. That is a powerful move though, it's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People, uh, dying inside or something like that. And it was a video of a guy. He's holding like a yellow blanket and, um, and bouncing it like you would like a newborn, right? Like you bouncing this, like this blanket in his arms. And, um, he was like on a pretty busy, what looked like a subway car and, uh, some dude stood up to let him sit down.


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[Assistant] And uh, the guy sits down, and it's just like, it's not a baby, it's just a sweater. Like he sits down, he's got this look on his face like, oh hell yea, I'm sitting down, but like, it was just, just his sweater, and the, and the guy who stands up, like, the footage goes to his face, and he's just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck, like he just has, he just looks like, uh, like, like quite annoyed about it, but also...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, maybe a little bit like Lewis's, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was like, you know, soothing a baby, like in his arms, but he wasn't. He was just doing it to get a seat. It was pretty funny. Genius. Yeah. Sorry, I thought I shared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, I've done the exact same thing, pretty much. I started playing Final Fantasy 14.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, we made a guild and a whole bunch of Hogan's have joined. So there's like Hollywood Hogan, there's Primetime Hogan, Young Hogan, um, like there's a whole bunch of different Hogan's and then we've also opened it up for like other wrestlers like Ric Flair joined yesterday and stuff.


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[Assistant] Okay, so the way that the auction house works in this game is like, you know in WoW you just have stuff in your inventory and you just post it up on the auction house and away you go. In this game you have like retainers, they're like valets, they're characters that you summon and you can send them away on little missions and stuff as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You give them the items and then they run to the market and sell them for you? Sort of thing? Yeah. So, so, and you can customize all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I made, you get two retainers and then if you want to have more than two retainers, you pay to have more. So you can have like up to nine if you're very serious about all this stuff. But you get two for free and it's more than enough sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This game is, has a lot of the stuff that WoW has, you know, it has like the end game rating, it has...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dungeons has gear and stuff like that, but there's so much to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of the people I know who play it aren't even max level. You can just do so much stuff along the way and people get into this stuff along the way that there's no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no burning desire for people to just hit max level and do all of the hard stuff, you know what I mean? Like there's all these professions, crafting, there's an economy, like there's all sorts of stuff that you can get really stuck into that you don't need to be max level for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's uhm, it just makes me think it's just such a shame the way that WoW's gone because it could have been a lot more.


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[Assistant] You can choose to partake though. I mean, that's the thing. You don't have to be a big weeb. You can, like my guy, my guy looks like really like hunky, but not like anime hunky. Like he looks, he looks like 1980s hunky, you know, he's got the mustache and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The group, the group sizes are smaller, the requirements are smaller, you can do anything. So like as long as you're up for leveling something up, you could have, you can be any class and there's tons of different classes and you just swap between which one you feel like playing that day. You don't have to roll an alt if you don't want to and stuff. This, it just does a lot of really nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quality of life stuff and, uh, you can tell that they've just studied the genre a lot over the years and there's just a lot of really nice systems in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, other than that though, I haven't really been doing much. This week has been just lots of dad stuff. Kids are back to school next week, which is uh, well great actually, it's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to get like a pee kit sorted out and new uniform bits and pieces that they'd grown out of and stuff like that. Cause like when they're, when they're small, they still grow a lot, right? Yeah, God. Constant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean both of mine, like normal food, oh my god, it's just like, it's such an endeavour to get them to eat. Like if you put like a plate of cookies in front of them, it's gone and like, there's like fucking sparks coming off of the plate. But then if you give them normal food, it's just like...


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[Assistant] Man, I get stuff set up to move them along a little bit, right? So like, like normally like I'll make their beds, get their rooms ready and stuff and then I'll put toothpaste on their toothbrushes and put them at the side of the sink cause I know within the next 5-10 minutes or whatever


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to be sending them up to brush their teeth or whatever so they can just go in there, grab their toothbrush and they're done sort of thing. And the same thing, they come upstairs and they're just like chatting, they're doing this, they're doing that and you're like, have you done your teeth yet? No, not yet. You're waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. And then finally you're just kind of like, okay, whatever. Like they're just going to be done in a minute. Let's go sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, wait, so this little magnet, if he feels it tugging, it means there's magnetism around because it's being pulled towards something. Is that, how else does it work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are you gonna do if you detect a magnetic field? What's the plan? Do you run? Is it dangerous in some way? Is it, like, what's the deal with, uh, why do you need to know? That would be part, part one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it drives you to make new friends, cause your old ones will be sick to death of your fucking magnetic finger trick. You have to keep making new friends.


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[Assistant] Like, Bob Ross' painting, like if you, if you really did it, would it look even close? It would always, it would.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just the nicest dude, like Roy Hodgson, football manager Roy Hodgson. I know you guys don't like football, but he's been a football manager for like fucking 50 years or something like that. He's been all over the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's retiring this season. Semi-retiring. He's not say- he's not retiring retiring. He's saying, I'm stepping back. He's like 73 or something like that. And he's saying, I'm stepping back.


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[Assistant] And I'm just chilling, but I'm not gonna say I'm never gonna come back, cause he said he hates it when people say, oh that's it, I'm retiring, and then two years later they come back. Feels kinda sad, so uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he's stepping back from football. Everybody's got a story about how nice Roy Hodgson is, like, and how nice it was to work with him and everything like that. It's a shame that those people stand out so much. It makes you realize how unpleasant most people must be to work with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the many of these fields, like movie stars and all the rest of it, and you know, people, musicians and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think those are the, like you said, those are the two options. I think there are certainly people out there who are super famous and apparently also super nice. But there are a lot of people who perhaps weren't, let's say you're not the best at what you do.


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[Assistant] You know, so here's my question about Bob Ross for you guys, okay? I've been watching The Office recently, and Andy, the character Andy, Andy, uh, the Nod Dog, right? He's recovering from anger management. He was a very angry guy, and he went through anger management.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, I've gone, I'm unlike season 7 now. He basically, he went through all that and now he, there's, if something gets, pisses him off, he sort of gets this weird look on his face because he's thinking about, you know, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, like serenity now, that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You look at someone like Bob Ross, he's like, you can imagine Bob Ross getting really angry and just like smashing easels and throwing paint at people and screaming.


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[Assistant] Do you wonder if, if all this stuff like, uh, like planting things, like, like sips is enjoying this stuff. I'm not saying we're in the twilight years of our life, but we're a little older. So the things that we're starting to enjoy now are things that when we were 20, we would have thought, gardening,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, even if all Bob Ross did was paint, I don't think that can give you a complete life. If all you ever did was tend your garden, I think that would be... You've gotta have a mix of things. The cornucopia of life shall be yours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think you're wrong, and I'll tell you why. For example, Lady Gaga was bankrupt after her, um, monster, little monster tour or whatever it was called. She was, if you, there's an article all about it, the cost of the tour was so great that she ended up going bankrupt. She was actually three million dollars in debt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but for most really big acts like that, the cost of the tour is gonna be very steep. I think her tour was an exception because it was like unbelievably elaborate. Bruce Springsteen, for example, his tour, he made a lot of money from it because they don't have all the fancy light shows and everything. You too, when they went on tour, very expensive tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going on tour. Because there's a lot of bands. There are a lot of musicians that do this all the time. A lot of these bands will play very small shows. The cost of going on tour isn't going to be very great, but the amount of money that they make isn't going to be very great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And quite often with all the costs you have to pay, you know, the promoter and the venue, management takes a cut, all the rest of it. It doesn't end up making a lot of money and they don't shift a huge amount of merchandise. So if you go ahead and dig into Google, I would urge anyone that said, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Period's just wrong! Just have a look, uhm, cause I definitely heard, uh, I was watching a documentary about touring.


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[Assistant] So my problem is, if they're not making money from the record sales, where are they making their money? Like if they're not making a lot of money from record sales, where's the cash coming from? That's the question you've got to ask. And there is a big problem with live music venues closing because, not just because of COVID, but before that, there was, there was, there is honestly, look into live music and how many venues we've lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The robot drummer is super fucking hype by the way. Uh, go and have a look at it. I can't remember the name of the channel. I'll find it right now while we're talking about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pushing against the nerves and giving a sixth sense of magnetic vision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right here, like a supervillain has created. Corroded man. And he's like, becomes corroded by this tiny neodymium.


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[Assistant] You remember your personal trainer and your fucking broken relationship you had with your personal trainer?


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[Assistant] I mean, if you make a lot of stupid jokes, which I think I'm confident in saying all three of us do that quite a lot,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you're gonna, you're gonna fuck up. That's the, that's the way it is. You know? You're gonna miss that three-pointer. You're gonna score an own goal. Uhm, you're gonna, some other sports analogy, you're gonna do that. Skid off the track or whatever. But you gotta keep racing. You gotta keep chucking and you gotta keep shooting. That's the way it goes.


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[Assistant] What's that going to do to shut your big yammer up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, here's what you can do. I know, so sometimes the timing is crucial in a joke, right? All I'm saying is, especially if you're typing it, when you've typed it out, think of the worst response that there could be to that joke before you click send. Just imagine it.


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[Assistant] Right, but just remember that this guy, like, I always think about the situation as, could this person tell me to fuck off if I make a bad joke? Like, could they just say, fuck off, I'm not having that, that's ridiculous. No, because he's your personal trainer, so he has to eat this shit.


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[Assistant] They sound like the names of, like, grunge rappers. You know what I mean? Like, uh...


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[Assistant] What is it called? Grime. Grime emcees of some kind, uh, rather than office workers. But yes, that is, that's a tough one. I would just smile and then go and ask Harry and say, Harry, is that person's name really X? Harry would go, yea mate, yea, yea, totally. He's a lovely bloke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I was like, you know, curled up, like shivering and like, like hot and cold. Uh, it was, but it was like a really fucking cold night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, one degree, and uhm, my house was just freezing cold, and I was just in a state, basically, I got up at like, three o'clock and I just thought, fuck, if this is even close to what Covid is like. Like, seriously, it's awful. It's so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw, I don't know where I saw this on Reddit somewhere, but Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly or something, awful man, were getting, were doing some thing on, I don't know, some stage show thing where they were talking to the audience and they both sort of confirmed they had had boosters. And there was like a group of people in the audience who like jeered at them. And I was like...


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[Assistant] That is the state of America, isn't it? Do you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] It's, it's marketed as like fulvic acid, okay, which is obviously, um, decayed plants. Like, it's a compound derived from decayed plants dug up from a peat bog in Canada, right? And so there was this sort of thing happening where you could buy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a gift from the ground. You can drink it, wear it, you can bathe in it, it can be taken by anyone at any age, as well as animals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there something that they, they don't like? Do you know what I mean? Like, can you inject some, like, something into your bloodstream? Like, like, Brussels Sprout Extract, or something? Some fucking herbal, some fucking remedy. They probably don't like, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, using weeb as a kind of derogatory term, it's not really, it's more just uncool, we mean, you know. Someone that the TikTok using leech would not, you know, want to be associated with, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Leeches. That's what, that's what these MLMs are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah, so, I'll take us back onto this thing. So basically what happened was, it tended to be a specific group of people, basically kind of these alternative health seekers. What, MLMs? Who were buying this mud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so, it's kind of like, it was obviously embraced by the anti-vax and covid deniers who were all very much like, oh, you know, these days, our kids don't play outside and eat dirt, so you should buy them some dirt from this online place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it always worries me that there's the idea that somebody could be buying over pro- buying a 110 dollar bag of dirt and then serving it, giving it to their kid like a smoothie. Right, yeah. It's quite scary. I feel so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's targeting people who are vulnerable and sick and looking for something to help them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that it's one of these things that sounds, could be, especially since it's spun into this idea that it's black organic oxygen or fulvic acid or any of these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they sound like real things that you need, like you need folic acid, sure, if you're pregnant or whatever. That actually sounds like something you need, but fulvic acid, it's actually just nothing and it's not good for you and there's no


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sh- it would be worth it. She bought some black organic oxygen. For two months, she dissolved half a teaspoon of dirt in a glass of water and drank it every day. But unlike people in her Facebook group who posted miraculous testimonials of cured diseases, weight loss, clearer skin, whiter teeth, regrowing hair,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reclaimed energy, expelled worms, and even changes in eye colour from brown to blue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't feel like any toxins were leaving her body, and started having stomach pain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Amazing. Yeah, so uhm, yeah, it's just, it's just this whole, this whole scam. I mean, it really kind of like, it's part of the whole world we're living in now, where it's kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinda hard to get real information though, right? Cause no one trusts anyone apparently. No one trusts the government. No one trusts pharmaceutical companies. Everyone, no one trusts like the president. Do you know what I mean? It's kind of so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's mad that we could literally start like a farm that, um, you know, I've heard that there's these, uh, there's these snakes, right? That produce this oil and it could be like really good for you. It can like- Snake oil?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't mind people being an entrepreneur, but I think there is a certain element of ego with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even in 1989 was fined and sanctioned for practicing medicine without a license. You know, he's not got, he's not even, he's been doing this for 30 years without any education. In medical, any medical, in fact, he was told off for doing it 30 years ago and he's still going. I like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm impressed by his, like, just insane, idiotic, blind drive to scam and injure people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Awful and blind and don't understand the damage they're doing. But they think that, but he somehow deluded himself. It's almost like, I dunno, these people who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know we're not, we're not American, this is not, but the problem is we get so much of their culture and we sort of feel very influenced by Americans and America and the things that happen in America tend to happen here as well, but on a lesser scale. You know, there's certainly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you miss it? Uhm, the thing is, there's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you rent a car when you were in Canada? What was it like driving on the other side of the road for the first time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Novichok that they used the Russians to poison a couple of these people in Salisbury. It was quite, I guess, I don't know why, I hadn't really followed it or like, I wasn't really aware of it at the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened was, if you don't know, it was quite an interesting thing because there were these, these two folks who, apparently it happens all over the world all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we, this one happened, we happened to notice, you know, cause it's quite unusual that you would test for nerve agents, right? Like if, if you, if you spray someone with a nerve agent, they usually dead very quickly and of, and you wouldn't necessarily think to test for that, right, as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a little, a little perfumey spray bottle can kill like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so obviously when they closed the door, they got poisoned with it. But then everyone else who came to visit that house then, and touched the door handle, they would have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tons and tons and tons of shit in a vault. So they put like 30 cars, a helicopter, 10 ambulances, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Napoleon and Hitler. And look how well they went.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but, well, but that was, I mean, do it once, you know, sure. Shame on, shame on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was this whole thing about the sort of a region doing a kind of a referendum where they were like, we want to be Russian. And so obviously that, they voted, the idea was that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of the, all of Lithuania and Estonia and Latvia in NATO, Turkey's in NATO, like Poland and, what's that fucking, is it Romania? Fuck, I don't know. I can't, I can't look at them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think a lot of these hits on people were just things that were hanging around for a long time. They were like, oh, you know, we put a hit out on this Sir Guy Skripal back in 1989 and we've been hunting him down ever since. And it's like, you know, it just comes up for some of this, oh, we got an opportunity to kill him. Uh, should we do it? Well, they're like, well, still on the hit list, let's get him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, they just, they just fucking do it. I don't think, I don't think there was any, certainly with Sergey Skripal, it was a, it was a long time after he'd defected and done this sort of spy stuff, or at least it seemed to be. And I think, I think, you know, like I said, people have been knocked off all over the world, but it's quite worrying because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened a month later? So obviously what happened was these two people were killed. They actually quite quickly realised it was weird.


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[Assistant] And then one of the policemen fell ill immediately and he was the one who had gone to the house. They were like, okay, this is, this is weird. Uh, there must be some sort of agents being used, especially since when they Googled his name, they found out that he was, you know, a Soviet agent or ex like double agent, whatever it was. And so they, they were sort of on high alert and then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they didn't really know where it had come from, who had done it, anything like this, or any of the kind of things, so they just sort of sealed off and like, like, like just vaulted, vaulted


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Originally the sort of news around it was that they had been drug users and they like touched a vial or a syringe or something because people assumed that it would be in one of them. And they wouldn't have known if the guy hadn't survived.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guy and his wife or his girlfriend, she unfortunately died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and he said that what he'd done is he'd found in like a bin a sealed bottle of like fancy perfume.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he found like this really cool bottle of perfume in there, and some dirt. You know, this good for you dirt. Anyway, he found this fancy bottle of perfume, gave it to her for a present, she sprayed it on, was like, oh weird, doesn't smell of anything. Wait, so.


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[Assistant] Some people can't fucking help it. If you had a skip outside your house right now and you started putting shit in there, people would go over, they'd have a little peek at it and be like, ooh, it's thrown out a table. That's a perfectly good table. That would take an hour.


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[Assistant] Anyway, this, they think that that was, it's possible that that was the source. And I don't say I like that, but I feel that that makes sense to me. Like if you were, uh, like an intelligence service, you'd want to disguise your nerve agent in a little bottle


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[Assistant] But you've gotta, like, sneak it through security, and if they've got, like, if you've got your cheese ham and pineapple lube, that's kind of gonna maybe raise eyebrows. No, it's not. No, that's perfect.


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[Assistant] I just said 12 hours but I made that up, I don't know if it even sticks around at all.


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[Assistant] It says between 2 hours and 9 days. So it depends on the type of surface, temperature, humidity, and strain of the virus.


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[Assistant] Up to 24 hours on cardboard, but 72 hours on plastic. Okay. So that actually is, that actually is a thing.


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[Assistant] I think this is the general perspective. People are like, great acting.


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[Assistant] I'm just a bit surprised that they kept the same bad people for the second season.


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[Assistant] Obviously, I feel like The Witcher is succeeding despite itself.


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[Assistant] Whereas some other things are uhm, you know, failing despite


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[Assistant] And honestly, these worlds, like Halo, have clearly got huge amounts of really cool backstory, and interesting characters, and almost like, it'd be hard not... I mean, this happened with the Warcraft movie. They picked a really shitty thing to make a movie of, from the Warcraft universe.


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[Assistant] Was that what you have is with Dota you have this amazing melting pot with multiverse


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[Assistant] Yeah, just type ggff in chat, and then fucking move on with your lives.


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[Assistant] I don't know if that's necessarily tied to, it doesn't feel as like anything like the game.


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[Assistant] That's okay. It's still really good. Um, but yeah, like Halo, I just think that, I think that we have talked about this before a little bit, but


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[Assistant] There was, there was this sort of spate of bad movies, like the, we've talked about Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter and stuff like this, and I think people would put off the, and the Mario Brothers movie, people would put off that kind of video game movie thing, but then I think the Lego movies, I think, were the, were the, were the start, on the Transformers movies where the start of brands were like, bam.


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[Assistant] Let's get back on this. It's a big money spinner and it does work if you do it right.


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[Assistant] Oh, fuck. And sometimes still RPFLAX DC have really struggled, haven't they? Yes, they have. The Marvel franchise has been very consistently good.


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[Assistant] I think it's very Mass Effect-y. I've never really, not really got into it. In fact, I think the whole Halo story has gone pretty fucking fucked up over the years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, why don't you treat yourself to playing a game that you love from, from, from history? Why don't you, why don't you get it out and give it a go? Why don't you play Fallout 76? Oh man, don't tempt me.


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[Assistant] But, I will say on the flip side to that, you did eventually really enjoy No Man's Sky.


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[Assistant] Alright, thank you PFLAX. Love you. Go and get some rest and go back to bed. Wrap yourself in a blanket and stay warm. This podcast is going out after Christmas, so I hope everyone had a good Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in fact, I hope you have a good new year too, because this will be going out for a happy, happy new year. And the next podcast we record will be in the new year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I have got a few ideas. I have got at least, I've got at least one idea that we can try out, if you like. Good, that's more than usual. I had a cool, I had a cool idea that I wanted to do, so we'll see whether that happens. Alright, take it easy everyone, see you next week.


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[Assistant] Do you remember the, do you remember the board game buckaroo? I guess you'd call it a board game. The one where you had to load things onto a donkey.


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[Assistant] There was like a hair trigger on it and it would kick and shit would fucking go everywhere.


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[Assistant] It's so bad though. If you remember back, it was just shit. It was a shit game.


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[Assistant] Yeah, through the inner barrel, he's smiling. Tell you what, he ain't smiling for long, cause sometimes he's starving with a dagger. But yeah, you can tell when it's gonna hit it if you feel very carefully. I may have watched too many episodes of the lock picking lawyer on YouTube, picked up some chips.


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[Assistant] Hi, this is the Lockpicking Lawyer, and today we'll be looking at this.


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[Assistant] He is incredible, like he gets this huge padlock that if you were any normal person or some kind of thief, you'd look at it and go, fucking hell, look at the size of that padlock, no way mate, it's impossible. And he's like, binding on two, nothing on three, little click out of four, and there we go.


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[Assistant] So I feel like it's a very, uh, I don't want to sound sexist. It feels to me like I only know dudes that are like that. I know lots of women who are into something, but it always seems to be something where you think, yeah, fair enough. But this dude has dedicated years of his life to lockpicking.


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[Assistant] He sells a special kit for lockpicking. And I'm thinking, as a lawyer...


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[Assistant] I mean, I just think it's interesting. You would assume that he would be like, no, no, no, you can't just sell it. But he sells like a lockpicking kit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he could kick you right in the balls, and you'd have to take his word that he hadn't. Because the other guy would be like, that's a low blow, he just kicked me in the balls, and the ref would be like, I didn't see it. He's like, I'm telling you, this guy's kicking me in the balls over and over again.


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[Assistant] So, as I understand it, when he eats something, like, it's not clear whether you can see the food until it's been digested, sloshing around in his stomach.


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[Assistant] I would say it's one of the few pleasures that is universally appreciated by our species


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[Assistant] Do you suppose part of it is that being a vegetarian, everything you eat sucks?


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[Assistant] Here's what I think it is, right? If you go back to the comics, there are a huge range of different kinds of Batman in all the comics. And some people like the Frank Miller version, some people like this version.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but he's not been reimagined that wildly differently to the way he's pretty much always been. Like in the 80s he got a lot darker.


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[Assistant] I actually thought the movie was pretty good. But here's the thing, those filmmakers all want to be like, yeah, but this is MY Batman. Like, they all think they've got some fucking massive insider genius take on what Batman is meant to be like. That's it.


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[Assistant] So I thought that if you've seen the French Connection, which is an old film with Gene Hackman in, it's really good. Uh, the car chase, very famous car chase in French Connection. It might even be French Connection 2, but I think it's French Connection 1. Uh, that's a really good car chase. Like really, really good.


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[Assistant] Exactly, but it's like, most car chases are just kind of shitty.


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[Assistant] Like I feel like if the car chase is just, they were chasing on foot and now they're chasing in a car. Like in an on foot chase it's always the same. At one point they'll run into a chain link fence and then climb over it.


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[Assistant] That was insane. I would say Dwayne The Rock Johnson is quite big at the moment.


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[Assistant] Tom Hanks is still making a shitload of movies and very successful. Leonardo DiCaprio is probably a big movie star in most people's eyes and I would say they would be right. Tom Cruise is still box office. George Clooney's still pretty big. Brad Pitt's still pretty big. Matt Damon seems to be very successful.


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[Assistant] Apparently he did a Batman voice, and they were like, please stop doing that. Like, they told him to just not do it.


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[Assistant] Oh yea, Halle Berry was, what is it? In the worst fucking movie. Oh, Zoe Kravitz. I assume this is Lenny Kravitz. Oh, she's the daughter of Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. So, Lisa Bonet, by the way, uh, who was big in the 80s if you ever watched the Cosby show, she was a big star in the day, um, she is married to Jason Momoa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lisa Bonet is 54. It's quite unusual in Hollywood to have- Who's the other one? Lisa what? Lisa Bonet. B-O-N-E-T. Oh yea, she just came up immediately. She was big in the 80s. Yea, she was big in the 80s. Lisa Bonet. Oh yea, was she?


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[Assistant] So get this, for her performance, Tomei was nominated as Best Supporting Actress and won over Miranda Richardson, Joan Plowright, Vanessa Redgrave, and Judy Davis. American film critic Rex Reed created controversy and a minor Hollywood myth when he suggested that Jack Palance had announced the wrong name after opening the envelope. While this allegation was repeatedly disproved, Tomei called this story extremely hurtful.


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[Assistant] I tell you what, I'm a big fan, I was watching, uh, Friday night dinners, had a retrospective thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was doing a lot of good stuff. I think he could have been the new, what's his name?


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[Assistant] What is that thing that Boris Johnson talked about, the dead cat thing?


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[Assistant] Do you remember, do you remember that rumour that Richard Gere shoved the hamster up his arse for sexual gratification? Do you remember that?


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[Assistant] So apparently it was a gerbil. So the rumor goes that he once got a gerbil stuck up his ass and had to go to ER to get it removed. And that is it. That's the end of the story. It's apparently a real thing.


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[Assistant] I mean, I honestly, they've got little claws and teeth. Why would you do it? Like, just get a fucking vibrator if you're a, you know, fucking put a gerbil up there. So, I don't think it's actually true.


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[Assistant] But yeaah, there is something to do with small animals that people do, but I don't know if it's this.


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[Assistant] Right, it's still spread everywhere. That was pre-internet, it was pre-24 hour news, that was just one of those things that got out there somehow, might have been in the fucking National Enquirer or something, who knows?


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[Assistant] Please let's stop this, everybody. Let's get together collectively as a species and say, let's stop this. This is silly.


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[Assistant] I think that would be the best thing. Uh, the worst case scenario is we all fucking die. So, I'll take that. At least there's still people. We can get back to where we were. Uhm, maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That essentially, we are alone in the world, and there are very few people out there who are gonna help you or give a shit.


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[Assistant] Uh, I think just fucking sitting back and watching some TV and just chilling out. Having a, having a bit of an adult cheer you up.


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[Assistant] I think that is absolutely shocking. I think that is shocking. For a guy who's already successful author, many times over, to then kickstart a book and not cap the kickstarter, it's not gonna take him a million bucks to write a book. And then to make it to 25 million and be like, oh thanks guys, here's the book. Fuck off. I think that's disgusting.


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[Assistant] You've got, here, there is a fucking top ten ranking, the artist called Lil something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got Lil Dicky, Lil Pump, Lil Yachty, Lil Bow Wow, Lil Durr.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Median Wayne, we could go for. And Mean Wayne, and Mode Wayne. Any statisticians out there might like that. Carry on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in the United Kingdom, Esquire historically was a title of respect according to men of higher social rank, particularly members of the land of gentry. Somewhere above the rank of gentleman, but below the rank of knight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I've developed to get my kids' attention. So this has been working now for such a long time. I don't know if I mentioned this before.


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[Assistant] Uhm, I, I, I, when dinner's ready, in order to get their attention, because they're always up in their rooms, fucking farting about, doing whatever, I do that whistle up the stairs, I can whistle quite loud, I can't do the thing with the, whoop, you know, where you put your fingers in your mouth. Yeah. But it's loud enough, echoes with the hallway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it gets their attention, they come charging downstairs for dinner. Occasionally...


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[Assistant] I weaponize it and use it when I want them to do the dishwasher or something like that. But!


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[Assistant] Salivating, because I thought it was dinner time. I was like, no no no, ten minutes till dinner, I need you to do the dishwasher first. They hit the roof, so I've had to lay- I'm trying to develop other whistles for other occasions, and I only know that one. Oh my god. So I need to learn another whistle. This is like sheepdog training. Come by!


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[Assistant] She asked me a question about HTML the other day, I didn't know how to go look it up, and we looked it up together, and all this kind of stuff. I was like, brilliant. But then geography teacher was like, does Jean not like geography? I was like, oh no. I said, why? What is she doing? She's like, oh, she's just, she's always distracted, and she's just kind of...


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[Assistant] Chatting and she did badly on this test, so.


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[Assistant] How can I convince her that she needs to listen? So I got my office chair, we put it in, uh, the bedroom where Mrs. F, she's got her office set up there, put it in the middle of the room so she had to sit in it like mastermind while we grilled her about how she'd been doing at school. She fucking paid attention then, I'll tell you what. I think you've gotta come up with something original each time to really get their attention.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I'm cool too, I'm cool with either. No, if you guys had a good week, we had a couple days of lovely sunshine.


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[Assistant] It's gone back to freezing as cold again, it's like five degrees today. And now it's just, yea, it's of course turned around. Crap. Crap! All of the beautiful people, we didn't get to go to GDC in the end, except we were gonna go to the Game Developers Conference. We both punked out a bit.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, or maybe you're just, um, just a big macho man who doesn't feel it, just shrugs it off, you know? Well, obviously, obviously. Just like, yeah, no big deal, I'm a dad, I'm always a red.


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[Assistant] Sure. Well, I think with the Matrix, you reckon...


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[Assistant] Do you reckon they did their research, they were like, oh, let's watch back all the Matrix movies, you know, but that was a trap, because the second and third worlds were garbage, and they were like, they learned all these terrible lessons from those movies. Or was it just, was it just the hammy editing, hammy acting?


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[Assistant] I mean also, you're looking at people who are 25 years in the future. I mean, I think that you've got to understand that you're aiming at a very specific demographic here. Me and Ben were talking about this because we want to sort of make a miniatures game.


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[Assistant] Uh, but it's tough because you're like, well, you know, there are, you just have to assume there's people like you, I think. It's like, well I like this, so other people must be like this, but I guess as you get older and older, the pool of people who are like you shrinks, right, because people diverge and diverge and diverge. Like, when you're 13, the things you like are probably also liked by


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking millions of other kids, right? Sure. Whereas, when you're very specifically, you know, getting on, the thing that you played, the Matrix that you played as a kid, or the thing that you did 25 years ago, that you're still into now, has made it kind of a niche, right? Yes. And then everybody...


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[Assistant] I think it's like a style thing, right? Like, he has looked consistent for the last 40 years, right? He has looked the same. And so, in that sense, it's not like other people who tend to go through phases where they dramatically change their look or change up their style, right? Where they... Especially changing their hair.


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[Assistant] I think it's probably just, he probably bought like a hundred, a thousand pairs of underpants in 1980, and has been working his way through identical ones, brand new ones every year ever since, until, you know, he's got enough to last until he's a hundred. And I think he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, he's, that's, that's, I think that's the thing we see in celebrities often is that when they change their looks suddenly, they look ten years older, right? Or a bit younger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, you know, and you think, oh shit, they've, they've, they must have had some work done or done something. And I think he has been nipped and tucked. Look at his hairline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Tom Cruise is 59 now, and he's playing as this test pilot. I guess, how old is the average US Army test pilot? When did Chuck Yeager retire?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Chuck Yeager's fucking air combat came out in 1991. In 1994, PC Gamer named it the 9th best computer game ever.


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[Assistant] No, there's like, nowadays what you have is you have to have these people who are enthusiasts for this, you know, and they have a series of these cabinets in their garage. And you can actually get them, we were looking to get one for the office, you can get them and they have like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, you wanna get your boys looking and smelling like the fresh tulips that your partner wants. Yes. Uh, or if you're a partner, maybe, maybe get your lad sorted out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Thank you to Manscaped for the We Save Balls initiative. Also, smell oh so fresh and clean this spring with Manscaped. Use code triforce at manscaped.com to get 20% off and free shipping. That's 20% off and free shipping with the code triforce at manscaped.com. Upgrade your life. Well done. Thank you. On with the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been educated. You get a lot of this stuff on like, um, Reddit, with like, ask historians or whatever, there'll be some guy asking some weird question, there'll be some...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either no responses, because none of them are suitable, and then finally there'll be like one Netflix documentary essay style, you know, like whole megathread, which some historians actually have taken the time, it's like their thesis, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of my go to reading though, ask historians, like if I'm trying to go to sleep, you know, there'll be something about... I'm sure they'd love to hear that. Thanks, you really helped me get...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went through this. Alright, give us the next one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They should do that. They should call them things that we don't, we don't, like, not, like, slight gentle insults. You know, hurricane dickhead, hurricane prick, hurricane asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think that the, that's gonna cause problems though, and confusion, right? Because what if you have to like, report on the ship going missing, or transfers, y'know, people, it needs to be... Just give it a number, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People like consistency. I think the, there is that option, remember, where they have the geo-located areas based on like three random words joined together, right? Because there's so much variation with that, that you can basically do anything. You can, you can, you know, if you type in like cucumber, um, tabletop,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you could just call people that, you know, just give them a three-word, like, consistent designation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. See, that one's fine, but I think that thick rich's foal is a problem, because those words are not clear how they're spelled. Does rich just go on e in it as foal? Well alright, here's a better one then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good one. Mental invite pump. Mental invite pump, I like that. See, they're all, like, very generic, the things, they don't use, like, cool words, though, like, mastermind, or terraforming, do you know what I mean, they don't use, like, interesting words, they use, like, fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ordinary sentence words, they're boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my gosh. So anything else interesting happened this week?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, true that. I watched a documentary that came out this week called The Hunt for the Crypto King. Oh, I saw that was recommended but I did not watch it. Yeah, it's alright, but it was kind of an interesting story about how this guy basically


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His name was Gerald Cotton. Oh yea, of course yea, I went to school with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, so like it was going really well, everything was fine, and then he sort of died, um, mysteriously in India. And obviously he was the only one who knew all the passwords to all the crypto, and it was all the crypto was missing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and so the documentary was really kind of unsatisfying because they haven't figured it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I saw it, you know, it was definitely, definitely real, real death. It wasn't like a fake death certificate or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they reckon he did actually die. But there was no suspicious circumstances around his death. Well they also found that he was a member of all these hacker forums, and he'd run all a bunch of scams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Previously, he had this secret identity, he was like this super nice looking nerdy guy on the front, but behind closed doors he was like this...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Scam artist. So weird. Like, weird sort of story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it's weird, like, some people you know from the outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this guy who goes to this meetup that I sometimes go to. We refer to him as creepy guy, and he's a creepy guy. He kinda speaks like this to people, and he's got like, dank hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, what world do I live in where this guy is so clueless that that is like, just a question you open with, y'know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She just, god bless her, replied such a perfect response, I don't give my age to strangers, you know, I don't give my age to strangers. Just this casual, like, great response. And so, sort of undeterred, he turned to the next girl and said, uh, where do you live? Like a robot, right? And she replied, I don't know Bristol very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know Bristol very well. It's just, like, such a, like, I dunno, like, I guess people, I just wanna shout those guys out for being so practiced in their diplomatic responses, but, I dunno, like, that guy wears who he is on his sleeve, right? Well, rightly or wrongly, I guess, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know what you're getting, really, with that, I guess. I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck? Unless it's actually about, unless it's about latest of crufts, or like the dogs show. Do you know what I mean? I'm not down for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you get this when your partner, like, or your wife watches something with you, right, and you hate it, but they love it, or vice versa, and they can't convince you, or you can't convince them it's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy. It's weird though, sometimes that, I'm, I'm, I know I do it myself, I'm like, resistant, I'm like, no, I'm not gonna watch this fucking thing, I'm not gonna watch this with you, Jamie. Well I was like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was talking to one of these folks in the office and they were like, oh yeah, I love married at first sight Australia, but what's better is the undatables. Have you watched any of that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently it's kind of a more wholesome version. I don't want wholesome, no. I just want...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, oh god. Right, well no, that's fine then. I guess that creepy guy is one of the undatables. Yeah, I feel bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think they wouldn't date me though, because they are, I'm not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like them, uhm, you know, in their world. Well you have to find people who are kind of passionate about, I dunno, trains, like overly passionate, like insanely passionate about trains, and they have to meet someone who's insanely passionate about something similar to trains, but not trains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I think that you have to have similarities with your partner. You do have to share things in common, right? And I think that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not trying to say I'm too normie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For these people. I don't know. It's... I've never thought about it. I'm definitely not, like... I definitely wouldn't go married at first sight Australia though, in a sense, because I'm not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normal enough for that, right? They're all normal lads and ladies, they're all, you know, they go to the gym and they look good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If this is the best movie in the trailer, yeah. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please, they're talking a lot about, like, retiring Geralt, and having a new Witcher being the main character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He should have been arrested before he was allowed to get his Oscar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it called, what was the name of his place again? It was like, uh, la casa or like, uh, la, something like that. It was, it was, um, yeah, he had like an island, had like a zoo on it and everything, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you're about to say something I'm familiar with, but then also, uhm, carry on. Just carry on. Because I have some things to add to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the quest to have fun, sometimes you just have to, you know, a sprinkle of botulism here and there. It's gonna happen, I feel like, no?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but once you're drunk, um, equally, I feel like, uh, you don't necessarily, um, want to die either, like of, um, you know, some, some, some damages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys remember the first time you ever tried beer? Like, uhm, like, you know, like, ale? Like, were you a kid? Like, did your dad let you try some?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was so gross, like I shuddered, like it was just- I think everyone does, it's not nice. It is very very acquired, isn't it? Like I love it now, but I think your taste buds have to mature or something to get to the point where you can like it, because it's just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first time I ever even drank with my friends when we were like in high school, we got somebody to buy us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A case of beer, like 24 beers, and there's probably like 24 of us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, sharing like this one, one case of beer, but like none of us liked it, but it, but it was, you know, you couldn't say that cause you were drinking with your friends, right? And everybody had to be like the big experienced drinker or whatever. Um, and I remember that people just would, would drink like finish like one or two beers and you'd be like, Hey, do you want another?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause we, cause we weren't acclimatized to the taste or anything yet, right? It was kind of gross. So then I think the, the first time we ever drank, we did that. And then, uh, the second time it was just liquor, liquor mixed with like juice, right? Cause it's a lot easier to drink than, than suffering through beer that you don't like the taste of or whatever. It's pretty funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's easier times. I was thinking about this as well. I don't know like if you guys have this, but I find like the older I get, I look back more often on like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but the, the, the total lack of self-awareness when you're a kid and a teenager or even in your twenties is, is, is kind of staggering really, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess she is now, yeaah. Holy shit, by the way, okay, I'll give you some context for this. I've been watching S.A.S., the celebrity S.A.S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. So they all jump off the boat into the water and then they have to run up a hill to get to this compound, right? And, uh, so Eureka immediately gets hypothermia and can't run up the hill. So they have to take her off to like the hospital. She's like 53 years old, whatever, like I guess she's not in like amazing shape or whatever, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not sending her to war, obviously. They're not even keeping her in the show because on the second episode they had to discharge her because it was the, uh, it was the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then uhm, I was looking on Reddit and Cindy Crawford is like re-shooting, at the age of 55, she's re-shooting all of these like famous uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, man, she looks like better now than she did back then. It's unbelievable. Like maybe there's like some airbrushing or something on the pictures, but even then. And this is, I don't think she's had anything done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, uh, in actual fact, like her agent in the 80s or the 90s said, you should try to get rid of that, um, that birthmark, like by your lip. And she was like, no, no, I'm not getting rid of that. And, and she never did. So I wouldn't imagine that she's had anything else done, like boobs or like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but you know, like, they've got all their makeup on and everything in between bits when they're interviewing them and they're talking about stuff and everything. So you do see them in makeup and stuff. So you get the contrast as well. But I know, it was just interesting. We talk a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So super young, jeez, you think 39 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a whole lot of life left after 39 for sure, uhm, that's too early to, uhm, to pass away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've heard him say it as well. It echoes across the heavens. He's so angry about it when it happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've added it, they've improved it a lot, and they've added a bunch of new stuff to it. And the stuff I'm more, most interested in is uhm, you can, you can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a whole bunch of automation stuff that you can do now as well, like you can set up, uh, like, um, atmosphere extractors, like mines and stuff like that. But you, so you can have multiple bases across different systems all connected with teleporters and stuff. Like it's,