[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're following like a rote script and a plan that has been made before, then it's gonna be something, like, like, Cyberpunk announced last year that they were not gonna do have a crunch for Cyberpunk, and they just said yesterday or whatever that there's gonna be, it's crunch from now on, right? And so they went back on their thing, cause obviously the game's not finished,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've got this huge, huge team now, CD Projekt Red. You know, I think originally it was, you know, a relatively small company, maybe, I don't know, maybe 10, 20. I don't know how many guys made the first Witcher game, but certainly not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fair enough. And each of them has 150 or 200 people on them. It's amazing. Anyway, I'm sure that's how many people they need. Whatever. Right? Fuck it. But, like, I just feel like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like those people are not being part of that process. You can't be when you're, you can't feel like you're invested in that product, right? You're just a cog in the machine. You're just a guy animating a snail, right? You can't feel like you're invested in the product. You have no, those people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have no share in how the overall success of that. I feel like the passion that you see from an indie developer, one or two indie developers making a game and they make some incredibly amazing, really polished, really detailed, rich


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Full of live games that we don't see from AAA studios putting two, twenty million dollars and, you know, two hundred people in a complex out in somewhere, you know, in America where they all have free fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine if big companies like Amazon and Blizzard or anyone gave any percent profit share back to their...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their employees, how much money that would be, you know, I think if Blizzard gave a 1% profit share, every employee would probably get 10 million fucking dollars. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know, like, well, maybe not that much, but it's huge. They make so much money, some of these companies. And on a relatively small staff basis. And I feel like it wouldn't kill them to thank the people who've done the fucking work that's made them that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like there's this thing that happens where people, sometimes their best years are when they're passionate in their first projects and they've got motivation. You know, it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they, they're like, they've come, they're fresh out of the, of uni or school or wherever they are. And they're like keen to make a mark on the world and they've got ideas and they know how the world works and they're at their sort of peak of like their, it's like, it's like a young football, you know, in their early twenties. They're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, they've got it. They're like, they'll be the best they ever are, like mentally, physically, and they know what the world's like. They, they're in touch with everything, the mood and the general people. And they're also like somewhere in the middle as well of like the young people who really drive stuff and the older people who are going to adopt it eventually, or at least they can, they know that in their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's very hard because they, because they're successful. They, sometimes like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, I, I do think it's like, if you've had a book that's been a success and everyone wants you to write another one and you're like, cool man, I'll write another one. But you haven't been thinking about that book for five years and planning it through in your head and coming up with it. And you're like, I can do another one. Sure. The other one was easy, you know, because it was easy because it was easy because you'd had all this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Build up to it, you know, you'd, you'd had infinite time often, like very often, very, when is someone going to come to a publisher and say, I've had an idea for a book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give me a year to write it. Uhm, I've not thought about it at all up until now, but uhm, I'm gonna do it. You know, and that's often what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She wasn't right, really, because like, everyone, you gotta understand, like, everything you do is not a waste of time, it's contributing to something different. Not sleeping in and missing out on a whole bunch of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but maybe you needed that rest. Maybe that rest is going to mentally recharge you so you approach a different task at a different, a different pace. Like I think, I'm not saying you should wallow in your depression and slob out in bed all day, but I think that you, there is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't feel bad for the decisions you make. Uhm, you know, sometimes they lead you to places that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That are, are, are okay, uhm, or better. You don't know, again, like, where, where these things are gonna, how these things are gonna work out, do you? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But respect yourself as well, look after yourself. Keep your pecker up. Don't beat yourself up guys. Keep your peckers up. Don't beat yourself up. We're all, we're living in this world where everyone's like, oh don't throw away that milk bottle, don't fucking kill a pigeon and just dolphin or stuff, fucking get that stuck in his blowhole and just suffocate, you know, you're killing the ocean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel bad, you feel bad all the time. You're like, oh, I shouldn't turn this fucking light bulb in, the planet's burning. Oh, I shouldn't wear this clothes, it's made by someone in a sweatshop in Romania, uh, who's underpaid. Oh, I shouldn't buy this game, it's made by these guys who, who make their guys crunch. I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't do that. Like, if you go through this whole fucking life, like, like that, you'll have a miserable time. Uhm, you just have to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a combined 220 years on this earth, none of us three know how the fuck-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You will not get a single date mate, I promise you. Thanks. That's my, that's my, you, you also have a, alright, well this, I, I, uh, that's not, let's get you some good pictures. You need like a picture of you next to a, uh, Ferrari.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you've got that far p flex, I will say you, you, you're a little, lot better in real life cause you're a big man. You're tall. You, you got good frame. You know, sometimes when you see someone in 3D, they look better than they are in 2D. You're one of them p flex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went, I was talking to Duncan yesterday. He was buying a dog groomer from Amazon, right? And he noticed something weird that there were like loads of, loads of these dog groomers. You can just Google it on Amazon and they're all like, they've got such weird names. Okay. And they all look the same, but they're all like, like different brands. So one of them is Omork, one of them is Petking, Kleborg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all, they're all like weird names, okay? And they all look the fucking same. Sminica, uhm, you know what I mean? Go Sophia, they're all Vaal, like, but they're all the same thing, from China, shipped from China, they all cost like between 20 and 30 quid, right? Which is quite cheap for a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Electric clippers, right? But if you go on like Alibaba, which is the Chinese, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dog clippers, right? But there's loads of them, like Rav's got sent a smartwatch by a fan, and I looked that up on Alibaba, to how much is like a smartwatch that looks like a knockoff Apple smartwatch? How much do you think it costs to make one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To buy maybe. How much to make? How much to buy on Alibaba? 10 quid. A fucking dollar. What? It was like one dollar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they must be making something or else they wouldn't be fucking selling it. This is crazy. Well, so you've paid for like the fees and all this stuff, like it's, it's, it's, we live in this insane world, so I just wanted to bring that up just cause, cause I blew my fucking mind. Cause I've bought loads of wanky shit on Amazon for like a 10 or 15 quid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] into that. We'll let you know about the goal. Keep us posted. I just wanted to share that madness at the end because it blew my mind. Alright, bye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's really a bad job. Like it's a really low res bitmap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the clouds in the sky at the moment. They do not look real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which feeds into the Flat Earth Conspiracy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I said that I was really into it. I'm pretty sure this is going back. I was really into following it and laughing at it and all the rest of it. And then I realized a few things. First of all that a lot of the people who were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there you go, but I mean, because if you take it literally, that means there is no room for metaphor and anything that's said in the Bible at any point. So if it says pillars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then there must be literal physical pillars holding up something, and it couldn't be a ball or we'd see the pillars so it must be flat. Like that's, so there's really no fun arguing with people like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, what if you're near the pillars on the round thing? You'd be able to see them. If you went onto whatever part of the earth the pillars are in contact with, you'd be able to see a fucking great pillar extending into infinity, holding up the earth, wouldn't you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, if the earth isn't flat and the pillars aren't beneath it, we would be able to see the pillars. If the earth was a ball, and the ball was resting on four pillars, when you're on the part of the ball near the pillars, you will be able to see these gigantic fucking cosmic pillars. That's the point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that it, the pillars don't allow for it to be a sphere, or you'd be able to, you'd just ask, well where are these pillars you're talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's part of it. The other part of it is people that are just kinda sad and lonely and like being part of something. And then you get the nutters who actually think it's true, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need to think about this again. And getting the gyroscope and doing the gyroscope experiment also proves them wrong when they're like, something's clearly wrong here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so there's no point. It's not funny when they're committed and there's no winning them over. It would be like trying to talk someone out of throwing themselves off a cliff and everything you tell them they're just like, no, I'm gonna do this. After a while you just want to look away because you've tried everything and they're just not listening and they're gonna chuck themselves off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that garbage pile has to have greater gravity than ours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is a giant ice wall, lads, remember? That's what they think. There's a giant wall of ice, like a mile high, preventing the water from going over the edge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the moon is flat bit. Well the moon is rotationally locked to us. And I think that had a major impact on early man, because you'd think that must just be like a disc, because we've never seen the other side of it, but Mars rotates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it Ad Astra? Ad Astra is that film with I think Brad Pitt going into space and never moving his face and showing no expression. It was okay. But they go to the space station and there is all fucking branded shit there and it's like, well I don't think the space station is going to be a bit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, it's, it's Elon. Oh. G'day sips. Listen, stop talking shit about, uh, the Musk station, okay? If we put the Starbucks up there, that's our business, not yours. I don't think he's got that harsher. That's a Sapphire accent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's now dropped to third. He was the second richest man in the world now. He's third behind, uh, Musk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But here's the thing, right, explain this to me, Lewis. Whenever I watch Dragon's Den, whenever I watch Dragon's Den, what do they say? They say...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At, let me think, what was that, 2% for £5 million? £250 million. Uh, oh well, uh, we are open to negotiation on the equity, and they're like, your numbers are just so far off here, Amut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How the fuck can Tesla lose money every year, which they seem to do, and they're still apparently worth billions and billions and billions? If it's not making any money, how much can something be worth? I don't understand. So yea, I need an explanation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I've completely lost me. I don't know what trackers or index markets or portfolios or any of that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so it'll be another 20 or 30 years after that, that you generally don't see, uh, crusty old banks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a big number. A billion is a very big number. People, people don't realize it's a big number, guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is that thing about how long you'd have to, if to count to a million would take you? Hang on, I'll look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, to count from zero to a billion would take you that long. Like that's the difference between a million is 11 and a half days and a billion is 31 and three quarter years. That's how big a difference a million takes 11 and a half days. If you just went one, two, three, like one second per, then it would take you that long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Currently less than 3% of our medium and exchange in the UK is physical cash. 97% is electronic commercial bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm reading a book called Bullshit Jobs by a guy called David Graeber. He's really interesting. He's an anarchist, so he's a bit of a nut, but he's very, very funny. Uhm, and it's about how many jobs out there are bullshit jobs where you just do nothing. And he's got all these, he got all these people to send him accounts of their terrible jobs. Oh gosh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was me. And there's like, uh, a guy whose job is... There's literally, uh, this woman spends months and months working at this company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's grim. And it's like how many jobs exist purely...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like he said, uhm, in the past, like medieval times, you had all these people that were employed as footmen who just stood around and sort of looked impressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and they did nothing. I mean, they didn't do anything. They just were there. Uhm, and how many jobs essentially are managers needing people so that they look important? Uh, it's a very interesting book, uh, and I recommend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people don't give a shit. They're happy to be terrible people if it means they might make a tiny bit of money. That's life!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, like, I mean, I think there is, it's just, they use immigrants. Like, I know that in a lot of parts of America, if you have labor jobs to do, you go, there's like a street corner, you go there and there'll be a bunch of, uh, immigrants there and you pick them up in a van and they do the job and you pay them cash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beep beep, need eight people today and the first eight lads on the van get paid. That's pretty much it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I know a bunch of people that have had eBay stores. My friend had one, but, uh, he used to buy Lego, bulk secondhand Lego or charity shop Lego, and then on eBay, he had a store and you could customize which bricks he wanted. So if you just wanted


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's extremely time consuming, low profit world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When we had ours done, it was a huge production. Like it took months. Oh my God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they flatten, they flatten it out. So it becomes like a sloping on one side and then it should be a flat roof that ends in a flat wall rather than a sloping. Cause that's like, otherwise there's no fucking space up there. Like they flatten it out and then you can, you put your room up there. But when they did ours, we had, there's obviously no stairs going up to the loft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the way we had the stairs in the house meant they had to remove a staircase, which is the most mind boggling thing when they do it, uh, especially because the staircase was just in a supporting wall. So they had to remove the entire middle wall of the house. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is scary. It's scary because they literally cut open your house like to it's most personal sort of points and you're like damn, there's nothing left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a really weird dream about, uh, digging in my neighborhood. Right. It was like, uh, cause at night, you know, sometimes at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At night, if you're lying there unable to sleep, sometimes you'll hear very strange, distant city noises.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something's happening, like sometimes from Heathrow a plane will go out that sounds like none of the other planes, and I'm like damn, what is that plane?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm thinking. So sometimes at night you'll hear really weird distant construction sounds. And I thought, I was lying there sort of dreaming half half imagining, like a lucid dream. What if they dig in a tunnel to hell?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a Twilight Zone episode. There was a Twilight Zone episode where people come in and sort of remove the old stuff from your time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you go away and you come back and then it's there. It's because they forgot to put your keys back when they were quickly changing over. So time is like a series of boxes. And when you move forward from one box to another, the deconstructors come in and remove all the furniture and trash everything and then go off and create the next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck. The box, uh, beyond the one you're in. And I thought, damn, that's like, that's a really cool concept. But this couple gets stuck there and they've seen it. Oh. And they're like, yeah, you, you, you know the truth now, so you're stuck here forever. They've exposed, yeah. It was a really weirdo episode. Yeah. But yeah. The box flat. It explains a lot. No, it's like, it's, it's just a visualization. It's not, you're not actually in a box. But the guy explaining it was like, imagine if you're in, like, we construct your bit of time, and then once that starts to decay and you move forward in time. But the time is flat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but, well no, we can only perceive it moving in one direction, right? But, I mean, that was the whole point of the film, uh, Arrival, was that those aliens could perceive time as...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The entire- in its entirety, like they were fourth dimensional beings so they could travel at will, mentally, forwards and backwards through time. Whereas we can only travel in one direction. I watched a video about this the other day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two people had an argument and one of them said, I'm leaving, I'm never coming back and walked away. They would eventually come back around to the other person and be like, how did this happen? Well, it's because they're actually living on a sphere, but they can't perceive it because they are one dimensional.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they think that their universe is just flat, one direction, that's it. So we are three-dimensional, but we can't perceive time, we just experience it because it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because the three dimensions are still the three dimensions, it's just that the fourth dimension would be time, by our understanding, so they would be able to perceive all time. Do you remember at the end of Interstellar,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the, the beings there who, you know, they built something inside the black hole to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Arrival has a really good example of how you could actually live that way, in that, her, she's in, she's in one period of time, in the, in the past, and uhm, a guy says something, he says it's a zero-sum game. It's a zero-sum, non-zero-sum equation, is used in a conversation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in the future, she has a conversation with her daughter where her daughter asks, uhm, what is that term for when something is, you know, balanced and then all the rest of it and she's like, uh, no, I don't know. And she's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She travels back into the past to remember that phrase and then goes back into the future and reminds and tells her daughter non-zero sum game. And you sort of think, wow, that was weird. But when he's watched the movie again, you realize that she's begun traveling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's brilliant, yeaah. It's about, these aliens arrive...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, hence the name of the film. In a big egg. I get it. Yes, but they're all over the world and they speak this weird language that they can't understand. It's all pictograms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sort of circular ink-splots, uhm, and as she begins to learn their language, she starts to have these weird experiences where she suddenly sees a child she's never seen before or a person she's never seen before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so what's happening is as she begins to understand their language, she begins to move to be able to perceive time as they do, which is as a circle with no beginning or end. It's just that the start of your life and the end of your life represent the ends of those circles, but you can move to any point on that track.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So she knows that she's going to have a daughter and she also knows that her daughter is going to die and does it anyway. And when she tells her husband this, he's livid and storms off. So the film starts and we think she's just a divorcee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she's, whose daughter has died, but of course that hasn't happened yet. That is the, literally the biggest spoiler in the entire film, I'm so sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can play her on chess.com, Elizabeth Harmon. You can play her. So that the ch- they programmed the chess bot to play like her. Oh, right. And, uh, and it plays like her. Cause all the games are based on real games of chess. And there's a YouTuber called Agadmator who does, um, analysis of chess games, both current and historic. I watched a couple of his videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, it's not what you expect it's gonna be at all. I was expecting any minute for the subplot to pop up that would be fucking dull and shitty and it just didn't happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was brilliant. I thought her and her mum was great. I mean, they were obviously, it was kind of a toxic, they enabled each other to be terrible alcoholics and, and you know, but they, you could tell that they, they were both just kind of visible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, be honest, you know, when she's in the basement, very early on, learning to play chess with that old guy, I really assumed, this guy's gonna fucking molest her, isn't he? Like, that's what's gonna happen, this is gonna suck. And I was like, thank god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, I don't watch daytime TV. I watched a film called Dark Waters with Mark Ruffalo, uh, kinda boring in all honesty. Like it's about a guy who...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, oh, look how bad my cows are all, they got sores on them and they're all sick. He's like, oh, okay, I'll have a look. And they, it's like, it's a true story, so it's actually kind of not that dramatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's all about how DuPont chemicals dump stuff in the oceans, and I didn't realize this, but Teflon, when they made Teflon, it was like this miracle product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if you wanna know, any miracle product made in the 50s or 60s is gonna kill us all. Like that's pretty much the way it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Teflon is like, they make, they invented Teflon, it's like a long chain of carbons with one fluoride atom in it or something. And it's fucking indestructible. And it exists in like 99.9% of all living things on Earth. Now, because of the way they dumped Teflon, it's in them. Apparently. That's what it says at the end of the film. And if that's true,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like dystopian shit. Like they find, I've seen them go find, they take samples from the deep ocean of animals and they've got like plastic in them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone and welcome to the Triforce Podcast. We're back. Uh, we're actually recording half an hour late this morning because Sips was showing me and P-Flex's CK3 Empire. The Pengwhacker Empire. Monster Empire, yea. And motherfucker, it's huge. It's a big one. I've never seen anything like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand how you've done it. It's like watching some sort of spiffing Brit stuff. I recommend CK321. I played it this week. I had a good time. I think you do have to play it with a little bit of role play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, you have to, you have to take your time. You don't want to rush. You want to, you want to watch, you want to watch things happen. You want to see your children grow up and turn into crazy motherfuckers or, you know, you want to sleep with your auntie and have a hunchback child. You know what I mean? You want to, you want to enjoy it. Savour it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is some Game of Thrones shit. He's like your spymaster. He is? Yeah. He's like little finger. You need a Munich, you need a dwarf, you need everyone, right? You need the whole crew. It was really something. It's very, very Game of Thrones-y. I can't wait for the Game of Thrones mod actually. I think that'll be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you never know, like, this is the same case for you, you know, you've established a period of fact flax bloodline and sips bloodline as well, and you, you know, you have a set a certain reputation, a certain threshold for greatness, right? For behaviour, for comedy, for attitude, for being cool, for looking good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm saying, I'm saying your kids might be like fashion models, really talented photographers, or like, you know, expert writers, you know, they could be like, could be, they could really put you to shame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just starting sixth form. So like 16, and he was telling me, so this is sort of second hand through him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was telling me how they were chatting about what they're doing going, getting ready for going to school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so what they've done is before the sick form started, they, all the people have looked at each other's accounts through Instagram. Okay. Right. This is some black mirror shit, right? Right. But apparently this is what people are doing now at school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before even like meeting each other, they've, they are, they, first of all, none of them ever got phone numbers of anyone else. If you have a phone number of someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like really close. That's like your mom kind of thing, right? Everyone else talks, and they don't use WhatsApp, they use Instagram like messaging, and they all have an Instagram and they will check each other out and they all know each other before they've even met in school, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, this is a world that terrifies me, right? Because Instagram is this place where people just mostly pitch, post pictures of themselves looking good, right? Looking perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's definitely a lot of influence of stuff on that. Like it's quite funny how I speak to people and they are fans of some Instagram influencer and they think that they're the only person who is their fan, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, but for example, one, one thing, you know, some, some nail polish or something will be delivered to the office and it won't have a name on it. And there'll be, you know, five different people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who think it's theirs, because they're all actually fans of this Instagram person who isn't small at all. They're selling millions and millions of products. And it's a really crazy different world. I think that it just sort of shakes me up a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they're like, I dunno, some people who were like involved in MLMs were just particularly weird and they're not usually good people or pleasant people either. It's like they just sort of, I wonder if that's like part of it, like this kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're often, they feel amateurish and they feel real and they feel ghetto, but they're often very staged little jokes that are quite clever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, made by people who know what they're doing and, and it's got this, TikTok has got this amazing, amazing algorithm where when you watch, according to what you watch, it knows what other people have also, it's all about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How you, how you don't interact, okay, rather than how you do interact, right? So it's all about how long you sit there while something plays in front of you, okay, and don't turn it off, right? Rather than what you do click on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People, it's all about that watch time thing that YouTube built in a few years ago as well. It's like, if you watch something for longer than a certain amount of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] YouTube will just give you more of the things that similar people have watched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same amount of time. It's weirdly clever like that. Anyway, TikTok.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's this weird thing. It's, it's not unusual, it's not weird, but I wonder whether, I always give people the benefit of the doubt though, in general, and like, when we say people,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, why do people, why are people into this? And I think there's, there's, I think that easily when you watch something, when you watch some weird guy, you're like, okay, I can see why this guy's weird and interesting and people might want to watch it. I think most people are similar in many ways as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why. It's just one of those things I really like. It's comforting, it's familiar, it's like, it's, it's, I, I, I do it too. I have this list of YouTube subscriptions and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I actually have to unsubscribe to things that I feel like, ugh, like I used to watch so much like Hearthstone stuff. And I used to watch a lot of Starcraft like pro games and stuff as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of TV stuff, a lot of copyrighted stuff by the sounds of it, like not a lot of original stuff there. It's all like, it's all clips of TV and movies that you can't be asked to sit through the whole thing or don't want to. Or I've seen it before and I just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, that's all that. That's very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I dunno, watching that sort of atheist sort of rhetoric was very, it was very powerful, his, his arguments, weren't they Chris Hitchens?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great speaker. Wonderful character. I mean, he'd be incredible now on YouTube, wouldn't he? If he was, if he hadn't died. Terrible. Well, I mean, yeah. I mean, he had a really good way of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you see that often in these debates where people are poorly informed on one side and they say something that is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wrong or, you know, kind of this stereotype and the other person doesn't realize that it's wrong and can't really call them up. And even if they do call them up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They can't, they don't have the facts at hand or whatever, do you know what I mean? They don't have, it's like, it's like when you write


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An essay or something, you could constantly put in citations as you go through, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, this, this great memory for, like, like you said, those, those kind of, uh, kind of unerring moral arguments that, that mean that, yeah, okay, you've just, you've just made me a believer in one sentence, you know, because even if that isn't, you know what I mean? Like, you can't even argue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we do live in the era of the professional politician. You know, it used to be that presidents came from the law or doctors or you know, different, different other


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they had a calling and a job and a life in the real world, and now we have this career politician, the idea that you can go to school, study politics and be a politician. I will say this, that makes us feel that they're out of touch. Most of the politicians in America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've changed a little, so. There's this TV show called Yes, Prime Minister from the 80s. And Yes, Minister before that, yeah. Yes, Minister. And Yes, Prime Minister. It was, it's great. And actually, that's one of the ones that I get recommended on YouTube. Same here, same here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so much better than like F1. It is. If you like, if you think you like F1, you will love. You will love it. All the Olympics, like just cause it's like all of the randomness and all of that exciting commentary, right? All that hype without any of the real shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's brilliant. There's, there's some holes. Tom recommended me a hole in YouTube this week and I looked at it and I almost puked. Uh, there's this guy called Sausage, Sausage Steve or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With Steve Lamb in the River Cottage? No, it's this guy who makes ordinary sausage. There you go, it's called ordinary sausage. Ordinary sausage. Okay. And it's a guy on YouTube who makes things into sausages. Oh, the Travis Scott sausage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a KFC bucket, he puts it in a sausage maker and makes it into a sausage. And yeaah, like it is repellent, um, and you have to watch


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A stupid YouTube channel where they crush things or they put a thousand degree hot knives. Oh man yeah. This is, this is the guy who makes things into sausage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he made like a sausage out of a block of cheese and some ice, and I don't know, just- Does he eat the sausage at the end? Yeah, he tries, he tries them all. And some of them, it turns out apparently great. He made like a lobster one that was really cool. And it was like a 30, 30 bucks sausage. It was like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate noisy eaters, I can't abide it. Sometimes, like, someone, like, being a noisy drinker is just as bad as someone big glugging. Because it makes me paranoid though, it makes me think, am I a noisy eater or am I a noisy drinker?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's actually really good, cause very few people are, especially dads, because you often, you haven't got time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love this. This is so healthy though, right? I'm that. I'm that, right? I'm the one who's, who's eaten like, yesterday we went out for burgers, me, Ravs, Ben and Joe, uhm, I had eaten


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My onion rings before, and they'd finished their meals. I hadn't even touched my burger yet. And I sort of forgot it was there, actually, because the onion rings were so filling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, oh fuck, I've got a whole burger left and you guys are finished. And then I had to like, eat it like in, I felt like I was eating it like at speed. I was like, I was like pacing myself, like, fuck, how quickly can I get this thing? Yea, I'm not a fast eater either. I felt awful afterwards. I don't know, I mean to me it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically your attitude is that your kids are trying to trick you into somehow not noticing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People, it's people I know. Maybe it's my fault. If you're a crier and you don't know why, let me know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it's, you gotta understand though, sometimes there's deeper layers, you know, much like a tiramisu has like, uh, the, the tiramisu itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The theft of the tiramisu may not have been the trigger, it may have been the aggressive action that was, that was the snatching of it. No. It might have been the vitriol with which your wife stared at your child. No, it was just the loss of a single mouthful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to find a solution and sometimes what they ju- what they want from me is just to tell me about their problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, but men come to me with their problems as well and they're not often looking for a solution either. They just want to, they want to vent or they want to talk about it. But I always have to, cause I always catch myself trying to think up an answer. Like when you were telling me about your kids, like, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so weird because it is all about these hidden meanings, right? You have to almost be a detective or a dad or used to it in order to sort of dig deeper. You know, what is the real issue? Life is like that often. Like people don't mean to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not say or, or, or like what they mean, you know, like even when people, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think a lot of people, first of all, a lot of people don't know even what they want when they tell someone something. You know, they, they don't know what they want. You know, when someone tells me about,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. I think, I think I'm constantly, um, making assumptions about your parenting, you know, whenever you say things. And, and it's so easy as an outsider to do that, right? To judge you and just not have a clue what it's actually like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, or what you go through, or even really understand the full context of these, these stories. I think that sometimes it's easy to get the wrong understanding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, I was talking to someone this week, I don't, I don't want to necessarily veal, veal the stuff about this, but I thought it was funny. Uhm, and they have a relative who went on a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A hike, okay, in Scotland. For a week, on their own. It's like a trail near where Ravs lives. It's like a common trail. The Ravsian trail! I can know it well. And it's like this commonly walked thing along Ben Nevis. It's quite beautiful, Scottish Highlands. You know, it's a nice time to walk it as well because the weather's quite good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they wrote like this sort of, um, blog post of them, of the story of them going on the trip, right? And I happened to read it. I was just, it was just sort of, you know, you know, it just pops up in your, in your timeline or whatever. It's like, um, I think, and they're, they're quite a healthy person, right? They're quite fit and healthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But their attitude towards food was really weird, right? So they started off by, by having a Greggs, okay? It was like, I stopped a whole Greggs, that was like the first thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sausage roll. I think it's like, it's like a sausage roll and like one of those pre-made sandwiches maybe, right? So not too, too bad. Two things! Two what? A sausage roll and a sandwich. It's a long trek! It's a long, it's like five days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And had sausage sandwich. Right. Okay. For, for breakfast, basically, cause they like saw a Scottish place and they're like, oh, a sausage sandwich on sale. Oh yeaah. Sausage sandwich!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was, I was, I was, I was sort of like, I understood like the attitude, it was like, I could eat high calorie food because I'm walking 90 miles, right? Fair enough. 90 miles is a long way though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast, uh, so honestly, the whole trip, I don't think they ate a single healthy thing at all. Well, I think if you're walking 90 miles, it's all getting burned off. It was just Scottish fare. It was chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I bet when it got to like, eight, nine o'clock at night, those, they were tired out and they didn't have to fuck around with rice pudding or doing some papi and meche. None of that shit. They were just in bed. Maybe that's it. Maybe you need to tie the kids out a bit more. Run them around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People know what, people know what they look like, the people are hyper aware of it as well, and like they, they, I think there's this weird disconnect between what people-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, that's, that's a great, I look great in that picture. And you realise that you don't always feel like that and it's just the nice angle or you, you know, you've, they caught you at a good moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. It's like, and they're the Instagram pictures that people have. Do you know what I mean? That's the face that you present to your... So I think what's gonna happen is when all these sick formers meet each other...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all gonna, they're not gonna recognise each other at all because it's gonna be like being catfished. They've got this idea that they're all going on this hot date with all these cool people who look really amazing and are all, you know, all have their faces like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, improved using these apps. Everyone's using these like, face changing apps to like make themselves look better on Instagram and thinner and everything. It's all fake!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when they meet people, it's like a bad internet date. So I'm just worried that all these sick formers are gonna get together and just be like normal kids. Not this sort of weird Black Mirror episode. Don't worry about it. Yeah, you'll be alright. They'll be fine. I'm not worried about it. I'm just saying, I think, I'm looking forward to seeing...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part two of the episode from Ben when he fills me in on what actually happened because the way he said it made it sound like I was living in some sort of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't understand Snapchat at all, but apparently that's how they chat. And I'm like, it just terrifies me that I'm getting so out of touch. And even when your kids grow up, it'll be even different again, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So being in the Tesla, I, cause I hadn't been one for so long, I had bigged it up in my mind to be this revolutionary, I thought I was going into space in a space capsule. It was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just a car. And I think it's the same with Snapchat. Like it's, you know, we had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello and good morning everyone and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. That's right. Oh, we're back again. Hello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your, you know, it's, I can't remember what the thing is, I can look it up. It's like, it like basically just tracks where you've been on your, on your maps, your timeline, that's what it's called.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my Google timeline is my flat and the office. Literally that for like months and months. There's like, I haven't been anywhere. I've walked, I think I walked like up the road once to Wilco. I think I walked like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So speaking of tracking what you do, I watched A Social Dilemma on Netflix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it is, uh, worth watching, yeaah. So they've basically got a bunch of guys who were like 5 years older than me. I suppose actually, it's probably about your age actually, you guys. Yeah. Uhm, and they- And how old are you? I'm 36, um, 37.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, we got you a birthday card by the way. Oh, thanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's okay. I already told you about it now, so now you have to get me a vertical. That's how it works. I can't be disappointed. If you missed it, you could say I didn't get you anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, uhm, it's basically, they've got all these tech guys, right, who worked for Google, the guy who designed Gmail, the guy who designed the Facebook like button, like about 20 guys, and a couple of women too, who were involved. The guy who basically joined Facebook to make sure it monetised and figured out how to monetise Facebook, which was ads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, basically he was like, Google use ads, so I think we're gonna use ads. Uhm, what a revelation. It was that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they basically, all these guys who designed all this stuff in a sort of very.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Awakening, where they now believe that all these social media sites are ethically compromised and, and, and basically the way they sort of work is, is wrong. Because one of the quotes is the classic quote is the only, the only two


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, groups of people who call their customers users are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drug dealers and social media companies. So it's because you are the product. That's the idea of the movie, right? You're, you're what's for sale. If you're using a service and it's free, you're the product. So they, they basically expose how, I don't know, suicide rates amongst sort of teenagers have gone up about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, it hurts your self-esteem, it hurts like your, the things you're exposed to, you're exposed to things that are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wrong and lies, the whole thing around, I don't know, rabbit holes. It's really, it's a really interesting documentary about how all these people who made this technology ostensibly for good, or at least for neutral, they didn't care what it was doing, but the fact that it was made by, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if, if, if, if not poorly understood, at least like, very risky in a sense. And these guys who were interviewed for the documentary are certainly very much convinced that it's going to lead to the end of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, what's up, or at least yeaah, the end of the world as we know it. Yeaah. So, it's very spooky. Very spooky movie. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's going to make you anxious. I think it's stuff that, it's interesting. Um, I think it has a few sort of a little bits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, of the role. So you'll do a little role. I think movies have to do this, right? They have to have a lot of this. Cause when you, when I left the movie, I was, when I finished watching it, I was like, I'm, you know, oh yeah, totally makes sense. I'm going to quit social media. I'm going to delete my Facebook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to go to gym again. I don't know, like it had that effect almost like, you know, to try and make you make it want to change and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Always when you watch something like this though, that effect fades after a week, right? And so the movie has to be strong enough that it stays convincing, you know, after a week. So it's fairly persuasive, you know, it's written quite, it's persuasive. That's good. It's good. It's interesting. I'd watch it. I'd watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really gripping to hear from all these people and see some of the people behind these systems that we use every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crazy. You're right. It's the same situation. Everyone's only sort of focused on themselves really and their own problems. It's the classic thing of, you know, everyone's always paranoid about their own looks. You know, oh I've got a spot on my nose and everyone's going to be looking at it, but no one's looking at that. They're worried about the spot on their own nose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does feel like the trends currently are lurching. There's been this sort of thing where Fall Guys was this massive, massive thing, right? Really popular. And then it kind of lurched into Among Us, which is obviously very popular as well. And now it's sort of some proportions of Twitch have lurched into


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Phasmagoria or whatever. It's this odd horror VR game that obviously isn't for everyone and has no sticking power, but it certainly feels like it's good for a cheap fright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sort of constantly, I'm so bipolar on it almost because some days I'll feel like super positive after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand, like, that it happens because someone in that chain of suits is like, well, you know, I don't want to risk my job for this if this goes sideways or if this backfires or if this looks bad or if this, someone says this lost us some sales. You know, that's, I don't want to lose my job. It's not worth my, why bother?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why join this thing? You know, and so that's why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think innovation is tough, like you see it happen in all sorts of things, uhm, where people are given, I think, given sort of free reign to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just be creative. And sometimes without that direction and the guidance, things fall apart. Like uhm, you know, the vampire bloodlines, the masquerade too recently kicked off their sort of head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like one of those bingo balls, bouncing ball machine things, where the bingo ball bounces around and people put their hand in and they pluck out a fucking twitch, plucks out a game at random. You know, for every one of these phasmophobias, which is a shitty game made by a single dev with a kind of an okay idea that we've seen before in like 10 other games,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, this one happens to be the one that gets popular. That's what happens. It's just someone...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somehow one lucky game gets the momentum and it's, you know, suddenly sells, you know, 10 million copies and it's crazy because there are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's probably a, literally a better version of this game out there, right? But no one knows about it. It's buried in steam somewhere. It was probably made ten years ago. Do you know what I mean? And it's still better than this one. Well, you live in this bizarro world of, we can't predict, like, what's gonna be the next one. Often these games don't have any


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Merit, you know, and who knows how long this will last as well. It's so weird. We live in this, it's such a weird time. I don't know, it all kind of, to me it all joins together almost like the four guys brought everyone together playing the same game and then they all fracture back out into these weird little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know if I play this stupid game on Twitch, I'll get twice as many views. So therefore I'm going to play it. And I hate that. But everyone says I only play it because I want to play it. I only play games I like. You say that to any fucking pro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they hate it. They'd rather be playing anything else, but when they do, when they try, they get 10 viewers instead of the 200 or 500 they need to live. You know, they're stuck, it's their job. They hate working on the production line of Hearthstone, and sure, it's quite, they're used to it and they're quite good at it now and stuff, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they don't love it. Like, they don't wanna do it. Like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was, um, during the beta test of Ultima Online, which was, he's kind of- Ultima Online. Ultima. Ultima. Ultima Online. Ultima Online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always called it that, like ultimate. It's ultimate. It's ultimate. It's ultimate. Yeah, whatever. Whatever online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He logged in to the server and did these sort of role-playing events, right? Um, and during one of them... Oh yes, this is famous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody, somebody cast this fire spell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world and so the assassin got banned and then, you know, various, it sort of became this very first famous video game event. And so ever since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, in every other Ultima game, his character is almost impervious to player attacks, but there's like, there's always, apparently in every Ultima game, there is a way to kill Lord British with an out of the box thinking, right? So like, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can apparently like nudge him towards the docks and use one of these NPC cannons to kill him. It's still going Ultima.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry to interrupt the podcast, but this week's sponsor is ExpressVPN. You can get three months for free at expressvpn.com slash triforce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This podcast is actually really relevant because we were talking about the social dilemma. It really shows how if you do not pay for these free services you use online, you're the customer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] ExpressVPN.com slash Triforce. I use it on my computer. I really like it. It works really well. It's really easy. I recommend you give it a try. ExpressVPN.com slash Triforce. Just protect your data if you, if you want some privacy. I, I recommend it. And on with the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you choke or something? Or did it, or was it like you were so, you were rushing to catch up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, this, this reminds me of every time I would go to Pitch and Putt when I was like a teenager or whatever, my parents, they'd sometimes take me to Pitch and Putt and I was fucking terrible as well and I would, I would slice the ball off into someone else's fucking, on someone else's green and be like, oh sorry, there's like a family there like angrily staring me down as I fucking hoof it back towards where my family is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love hearing period golf adventures. It's like, I hope it's like an anime redemption story where, you know, you've had this like down, but there's, it's going to, this is the, this is like the Nadir and then it will climb to the highest point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, you have been terrible at Dota for years, and that's never stopped you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hadn't played, I thought, you know, Shadows of Mordor was good, I'll play a bit of Shadows of War. Played it within like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking two hours, I'm like backflipping onto an orc and like fucking stabbing them in the eyes. I'm like the feel like the most, the proest gamer of all time, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, you know, any other game, a regular game that you play, an hour is not long enough for you to not be a complete fucking noob. Like, name another... But that's what conventional games are, right? They're supposed to be sort of fun and make you feel powerful, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We recorded a video for the main channel because I thought it would be fun to do one with like 10 people and in the first round,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I am not aware of because I haven't caught up. There's like loads of them as well and it's so interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they all know where the security cameras watch. They've all got like a little picture of the map on their other screen and show where the vents link to each other. I was so sweaty and I'm like, oh what is this? I had a game the other day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, people play these things in different ways. So uhm, they have, we've been playing Trouble and Terror's Term, which is very similar, except for it's a lot more shooty and wacky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is this thing where you have to get really indignant, right? And be like, fucking hell guys, come on, seriously, what are you, ugh, fuck, I'm not playing this shitty game anymore with you guys, fuck you. Do you know what I mean? You have to do that kind of shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fake IRL irritation. Okay. And it's so shocking to me when I see that because I'm instantly like, oh, I don't want to play with this person again. Usually. But also like, are they genuinely upset about the game or are they just acting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and as soon as someone starts doing it and they realise that's a technique you can use, other people start doing it as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, you know, if someone is indignant enough, they can't be guilty, right? Surely, right? But it leads to this odd, uncomfortable meta, right? But also sometimes the ways people play, like some people like to play a longer game, some people like to play a sort of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, just, some people are just like, I'm just going to kill everyone as soon as my buttons off cool down and risk it. You know, different people play differently. And I think you do have to learn that from people. And I think that that's why the Yogs meta is sort of different, I guess, because everyone knows each other and has evolved together. Do you know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just have to horrify those kids and really just-


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[Assistant] I mean, I really like that you're tracking your kids, your phone's tracking your kids, the social media's tracking you, everyone's tracking each other in this big circle of tracking. I love that. I remember like when I was a kid, the one thing that I dreaded was the phone bill, right? Because we obviously had to use the modem to dial up to the internet and I would


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it only came like every month. After a while I'd be like, oh man, I've already used like modem for like two days this week for like three hours. I might as well just go ham now, Jamie. And so we'd end up with this like, I don't know, 80 quid phone bill or whatever. And my parents would sort of go ballistic cause it was this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't, I mean that wasn't what I was doing really. I think I did ring the Nintendo hotline like once or twice, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, it was mostly like kind of the, the, the, the internet in its early days or there were other like internet services that were similar, right? They were like little micro internet. So you dial into wire play, which was like a sort of online lobby where you could play various games with other people online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe he's had like a traumatic experience in the past relating


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, it's just lots of sort of, I don't know how I feel after actually, I've never really stopped to think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the desires just ramp up again slowly over the course of the five minutes after and then you're just back to square one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't imagine a lot of people do actually feel that one, uhm, or maybe that's why it's on the list of feeling something and not being able to explain it because you feel it like so seldomly or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like a lot of people don't realize that about other people. They just think that they're the most complex person in the world revolves around them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very weird one. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very sad individual, but I'm happy to say, not that sad. So that's something that I've got going for me. You've got that. At least I have that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I find that, I find it's the people who always seem to have their shit together the most that, uh, tend to not, and then hard the fall, uh, hard the fall, fall the hardest, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, striving for perfection as well is like a common trap too, right? That people just get carried away and then they can never, nothing can ever live up to this standard or expectation that you've set and then they just fall so hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just sort of think, well, I don't know, like you just have to have like a healthier or more realistic view on life, right? Not everything is as perfect. And sometimes, but like, you know, things are, are, are perfect the way they are. Like even though you might not think it at the time, but it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes the way something is is the perfect way for it to be. You just don't realize it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we renamed it, it should be that. It's weird with podcasts though, because I think our friendship is based on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because normally when we'd be chatting, we'd be doing something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes sense too, you know, like we would have been playing WoW together, we would have been playing something else together where there's times where you're concentrating on something else, not necessarily listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But even in real life with friends, it's like that sometimes too, right? You're not always listening. Sometimes you're just talking, feelings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Filling air or whatever and not listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I think it's like, I think that's surprisingly more natural than a lot of people think, you know what I mean? Like, you guys aren't listening, are you? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not even, you guys have done this, I'm sure you guys have done this before where you're speaking to somebody who has, they, there's like a, there's just a certain way about them where you've decided, I'm not gonna fuck with this person. Like, I don't want this person to talk any more than they need to, but I'm stuck talking to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no point in you genuinely being yourself around them and then you, you just sort of like compromise and agree with what they're saying sort of thing. Just to, just to flow a conversation to its end and then leave or, you know, just get out of that situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but you don't necessarily, I feel that in your mind you're like, I have to know everything going into this, but if it's written well, it'll jog your memory like when you get to a point, right? You'll be like, oh shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if it's something that happened way, way back, they'll go into some sort of, um, you know, like overview detail of, of the thing that you're meant to have remembered sort of thing. And that is usually enough to sort of, oh yeah, I remember that happening now. I hadn't thought about it for a while, but it's still there in my brain somewhere. Like, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, I couldn't, I couldn't have a conversation about the books now, uhm, without, you know, I'd have to go back and reread them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And with the, like making a point to really soak in every detail ready for a conversation about that, right? Like if you would have hit me up,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shortly after I'd read the books for a conversation about it, sure, but like years down the line, there's, you know, I'm not into reading or books that much. I don't hate them. Obviously, I, you know, I have read lots of books, but I'm just at a point in my life now where I,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, for whatever reason, don't have time or just don't have the inclination.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world's different now too, when I travel now I don't bring a book, I bring a tablet, you know, I play games, or I read on that, or watch movies, or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Been out of the hab- again, out of the habit of watching movies for so long that I just- I'm not even interested, like I- I- I rarely see trailers for them, I'm not a big fan of like, Marvel and stuff like that, which, you know, there's a lot of movies around that stuff coming out, and still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where, where is this, where is this available? I wanna watch this. It's on HBO. Alright, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is this the monopoly, like, roll up the rim to win stuff? Like, that, in the 90s? Like, when you used to have, like, the, you get the cup, you scratch off, boardwalk and park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All loads of really cool stuff. All that stuff. They live for that shit, right? That's what they're looking for. They're looking for scams constantly. That's how they operate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You learn more about his, uh, his upbringing. His, his mom is interviewed extensively in it. Um, Puffy is, is, is in it as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, it's just sort of like the, you know, the right, I mean, he's just a young guy when he, when he was killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, just interesting to see where he grew up, the people he grew up with, the stuff he was, he was getting into the people that sort of like mentored him or tried to. And, um, yeah, it was just, it was just really well done. Really interesting. Worth a watch for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, what is the term for wishing that you didn't have such a big pot belly that is preventing you from gaining the agility to suck your own wiener? Is there a term for that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not unsettling, uh, it's just like, I don't know if I feel unsettled when I hear it, but just sometimes I'm aware of it. Like sometimes, um, when I go to bed, I'll lay down and I can almost like feel my heart like in my ears or something. Like, you know, when you're, you're like laying on your pillow. Yeah. But I don't feel unsettled by it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is a weird thing, yeaah. I think it's because we are aware of ourselves and stuff like that, that we can think that way, sort of thing, you know? Like we can, we have an imagination, we can imagine like a scenario sort of thing. But you always imagine it as like a bystander of yourself, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't, I don't imagine it like how, how would I feel like, you know, seeing the ground like come towards me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, like I feel like my brain is like, okay, you can't really be complacent here. Just, you know, be aware and, and watch them or whatever and, and it'll be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're responsible for them. Kids aren't, kids don't think like this. Like they, you know, they don't see the danger. They don't, you know, they don't understand. They're just like, they're, they're, you know, they're outside and they're losing their minds because it's not inside, you know, like it's as simple as that sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I mean just, we're back on this point again, unfortunately, but I just wanna stipulate as well, I-I-I, Lewis is not a stranger, right? Like, I don't mind actually if Lewis takes a shit in my house, like, I'm more talking about, like, the plumber. I'm one of the family. The plumber is around and he's meant to be fixing pipes, he's like, mind if I just take a quick shit in your house? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I guess some people do this though. I'm not sitting around worrying about this stuff. I don't think that this is going to happen, but again, I'm aware enough to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just for example, not to leave my kids. You know, ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's certain things that I know, tangibly, I can do to fully prevent this from ever happening. And they're easy things that I incorporate into my life every day. And that's why I don't have- Carry it Go!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anxiety, exactly. That's why I have an automatic rifle on me at all times, in my car, strapped to my back, and I have a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll really hear the waves like, you know, like, and we're quite, you know, we're, we're not like right on the sea, you know, like it's still like a good five minute walk or whatever, but you can hear them loud as anything like it out at night when it's quiet and stuff. You just hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can just imagine all these waves and stuff and you just think, fuck me man, nature's crazy, like it's so powerful, like eh, you know, at any given moment if nature just decided, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're fucking toast, like there's nothing we can do to stop it, right? It's a lot of water. Get the switch! Yeah, exactly, it's crazy. But yeah, no, the only other thing I would say, a feeling that feels great relating to rain and thunder and stuff like that, is I don't know if you've ever had this, but you're out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, Charlotte's dad was playing in our game the other night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it, I think it is like even more so will become an MMO in the future.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think it's the familiarity. You know, like, especially with Regan, I find. He was on TV a lot when I was a kid, you know, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Growing up in North America and, and seeing him on TV a lot, it just, it kind of just takes you back to being a kid, not understanding anything about the world or politics or whatever. And it's almost like a comfort thing. But you know, as an adult, when you read up about him and you look back on it, you're like, okay, well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like in some ways even Trump being so old, like he, you know, he's quite, he's quite old. He's like, you know, previous to previous generations from us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're, we're like middle-aged or whatever. At the same time, I feel kind of like he's a product of the time, you know, like he's the, the, this, this day and age kind of demands like TikTok sound bites, like they want to be outraged. They want people to say outrageous things. They want, you know, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and you had elements of that in the past, but never like now. You know what I mean? Like I, I feel now it's at, it's at its worst and Trump really played up to a lot of that. It's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe neither here nor there. I think it's one of those things that at now, right now, it's, it feels like a big thing. It feels like everything. Uhm, but I, I feel like even in four years time, you know, nobody's really gonna look back on the past four years as significant in any way. Like it's just significant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's one of those things where maybe, where maybe, uhm, some, some things that have happened in the past, like a couple of years will have like a longer term impact or whatever, but I'd say most things won't. Like I can't, I like, I think COVID is something that people will


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll remember back for sure, obviously, but I don't think anything sort of like recently before COVID is, is overly sort of impactful or memorable. I don't think it's going to set the, the tone for like pop culture in 20 years time or anything like that. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But maybe they felt like that in the 80s, like with, like you were talking about with like Contra's tape decks, the CIA and all that kind of stuff. I don't think anybody really thought that that was going to be the memorable thing from the 80s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I don't know if it is optimistic though, Flax. I mean think of like, what do you think, what do you think that's happened is, it has like any legs that's gonna, is gonna be mentioned. Like even, even big things or, or seemingly big things like Brexit and stuff already feel like they're forgotten. Like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I mean. We'll ease into the shit show. It's not like, it's not like a hard stop where it's going to be like, fuck, the day everything changed because of Brexit, you know what I mean? Like it's, it's going to be so gradual and probably terrible, but I don't think it's going to be looked back on as like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, he's older, he's retired, maybe he's like, seen some shit, you know, like, uhm, I don't know, it just seems like- The brainwashing of my dad. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To some degree you have to be seeking this stuff out too, right? Like it's not like he's just stumbled across something that's just all of a sudden opened his eyes and changed his life, right? Like he has to be sort of looking around for fringe sort of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's part belief and then there's, there's hope that it's going to happen too. Like these are, these, these people are kind of desperate, right? Like everything that they wanted, everything that they believed in was being taken from them. So of course they're just going to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which it wouldn't. I mean like, you know, you're talking about a person who...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of, uh, America in the 80s, I watched a four part documentary series on Netflix called The Night Stalker. Have you heard of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but the thing is, it's, it's, this is the, this is sort of like the age old issue, and this is why in the 70s and 80s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next time you walk into a house where somebody's been raped and murdered and, uh, and you're the guy who has to investigate it, way up what you just said as well. The fucking toll it takes on people in general having to deal with that shit and then to say that they're shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not shit. They were fine. The problem is, is that police, uhm, precincts back then did not share information. Never spoke to each other. There was so much bureaucracy. There was so many more mistakes made by mayors and other politicians leaking information and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's blood on everybody involved's hands, and it's because the system was dogshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, it's, but like, can you fucking imagine living in that city at the time this is happening where every night, like for a period of six months, one or two of these crimes is being committed? You would just be like so fucking petrified, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like you had people following the bus that, you know, people were yelling in the streets, he's on the bus and people were like following the bus and he got off the bus and he was running and people were running him down in the street, hitting him with a lead pipe and everything. Like it was unbelievable. Like, cause all of a sudden they just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sort of, they knew who they were after, and the information was out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, he came back and he's like in a convenience store buying something. He looks at the paper and he's plastered all over the front page of like every newspaper and all of a sudden everybody's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I can get the fuck outta here. It was crazy. Fuck me, man. Like it, yeah, it's crazy. But honestly, like I, again, saying that, I mean, the documentary, I know what you mean. Like maybe it was a bit hammy at points or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a huge fuck up, but again, it was just the way, I mean, he's, he's one of many serial killers who got away, well, quite literally with murder, but were allowed to go on these sprees for long periods of time because of all of these problems with like the structure of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, police precincts, sharing information, uhm, just the cascading of information across like different bureaus or whatever you wanna call it sort of thing, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it was hard for them to even work together when one of the killings or two of them were done in San Francisco as opposed to LA. You know what I mean? It was like this big thing where they had to like come together and share information and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then even then they couldn't control what was happening because the chief in San Francisco wanted to do one thing and the guy in LA wanted to do another thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I have a cat, and every once in a while the cat scares me at night, like I open my eyes and the cat is staring at me like after I've been sleeping. And then I imagine that it was the killer, and I was like, yeah, but it never was for you. What are you fucking talking about? People have been fucking killed here, you crazy bastard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I think it was her editor, like, you know, all this is going on and he's like, oh, you know, she really, she really went through the mill, you know, you can see scars. No, she fucking didn't. Like, what are you talking about? It's, she made it worse. She did make, actively made it worse. Like she's has,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think she was affected by any of this, like, you know, there was no, nobody, nobody in her family was, was murdered or anything, like, wha-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean it's just, it's crazy to speak about somebody like that when there's people who actually were killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well even, uhm, even like Steven Avery, uhm, has gotten married. Yea, like that woman that married him. Yea, like I mean, I think it's, I guess it's a thing, but I, I, it's, I'm not sure the psychology behind it, I don't know, you know, like even, you know, when they were saying that, like, women were sending him pictures, like, with their tits out and stuff like that, uhm, Richard,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Enthralled by this person who you know has done all these horrible things and then like, you know, marry them or whatever is just seems crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, and then to, and then to a couple years later, get a divorce because I think they got a divorce because she was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's a big turn off for me. All of that. If you're a criminal, uhm, that, that doesn't do it for me. That's, I kind of, you know. I mean, there's degrees of criminality, you know. If you're drinking a bit of weed at lunch time or whatever, you know, I'll still be attracted to you probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would be attracted to it. It's like key stenders, I guess. But I don't know how often that really happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never, I've never seen it, I don't think there's any, it's rare. That was a very sort of, uhm, maybe Hollywood, I wouldn't even say Hollywood thing, I think it just happens in EastEnders and maybe from time to time Coronation Street when they don't have like a hot pie to talk about. Maybe very specialized pornography as well. Maybe, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't know, it's a weird one, isn't it? I don't, yeah, I like, I, I don't, I think like, uh, I wouldn't be attracted to a, uh, like aggressive street fighting woman, uh, but then again, I don't think I'd be attracted friendship-wise to a street fighting man either, uh, or whatever, you know what I mean? Like, I, I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that that's, I don't want to generalize, but I think that that is a, it feels like a fairly common, um, situation for women and men in a relationship, right? You've got this man who might be a certain way and you have a woman who thinks,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can change this person and then inevitably they can't change that person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that happens often enough, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, and to go back, I think it works vice versa as well. I'm not just saying it's only women who think they can change men and that's a bad thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm talking about like, this guy picks his nose a lot and she thinks that she's, you know, gonna swoop in and stop him from picking his nose. But men will do that to women as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, uh, like, uh, like, uh, abusive men who sort of like, you know, will like dress their wives and stuff like that and, or maybe, maybe that's not the point. Maybe that's just like part of the cycle of abuse or something. But like, you hear about that too, right? I mean, it's, it can work both ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, that's a good idea, yeah. Uhm, I thank you both for, uh, once again, uh, doing, we've done so many of these podcasts now, it's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm here to confess to you, in your holy light, I have been street fighting once again. I didn't want to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have a voice that they use. So it's like that. And now they're trying to do a funny in that voice. It's the worst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that's what makes it nice, like business class, like I've flown business class a few times for work and stuff like that. And what makes it nice is the comparison to economy. That's it. Like you still get a shitty little seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My problem with the whole airport vibe is, it's like a public toilet, the whole place. It's filthy. It's grubby. It's like going into a public toilet, thousands and thousands of people with all their disgusting human


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grossness coming through there every day. It sucks. It sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is self-obsessed, wealthy and stupid enough that this could be true. And for me, the fact that you say vegan solids...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought they only lived on the left bit and the right bit and all the rest of it was just, uh, inhabited by dingoes. That was, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I've got a problem with this. Alright, number one, it's conceivable because obviously a lot of businesses are turning towards ecological stuff these days. Alright, number one, I don't see how hair is going to absorb these oils, so I'm not sure about the physics of it, but maybe there's some kind of treatment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if it's a joke that only translates if you know about the Ibis, it would be like making the diaper-eating seagulls of, uh, Bristol, an emblem of Bristol, so I wonder if it translates for Brisbaneians or whatever they're called.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because whatever you tell them, whatever confidence you-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The inside scoop on Liz's handbag. It's like, what the fuck, dude? You know, if you did that to a friend...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be a big betrayal if you confided something to a friend or your friend came up to your house and immediately they went and told all your other friends what it was like inside your house. You'd be like, jeez, can you fucking calm down? And when you're the queen, it's like now it's news, it's out there in the press and you'll have journalists like Nicholas Wichell or whoever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. You gotta watch it. It's about how they, they, uh, so in the States you'll see at the very start of shows this, this contains product placement, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I want to know is, how do these stories get to the press? Are there journalists going around and knocking on farmers doors? Got any chickens to predict the lottery numbers? Uh, yes, actually we have. Uh, this is Harold, uh, he's not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, take it to the press, quick! Hold the, hold the press, says the papers thing. Stop it! We've got a big page 17 story here. How do they get this? Does the farmer call them up? Oh, are you interested in hearing about my chicken? Like, what happens? How does he get to the papers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, how much of the paper, on the average day, there's probably two pages of news and the rest is like, we've gotta fill these pages. Cause we need, we need a hundred pages, and we've gotta fill it. So get out there and find me a fucking lottery number pickin' chicken. Get me the pickin' chicken, and get me a snake that can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Climb up a pole and get me a spider that can do maths and get me a fucking crossword puzzle doing loafer bread. Do all those things. Alright sir. And they just come up with this shit. I mean, how does it get out there? How is this news what's happening?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But still, these are vast manipulative corporations that are destroying the planet, so haha.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm not, I'm not being funny, I know several people who are completely tone deaf, and it would be, it would be pretty nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are close, but I don't think you are not as tone deaf as my friend Shane, for example, who couldn't hear a note if his life depended on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But here's the thing, he tries, like he, and he throws his, you know, there's a lot of effort in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't know, this could really blow up in our faces. Let's put it out on April 1st, and if it's shit and the response is really bad, we'll just say, yeah lol, that was just an April Fool's. That's a clever way to slip some shit marketing past the public. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, but what I'm saying is if I'm out and a bear or something is like, on the other side of the path, we are running. Like I don't care if there's an alternative, the very, the very most basic fundamental human instincts are fight or flight. I'm choosing flight, unless we have the tools to fight. I wouldn't go for a walk in the woods without a fucking gun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you think they're in league with the- with fucking Greys? Like, the company that sells tiny packets of seeds for a fiver? You think they're in league with them? They got- Greys got on the phone with-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck that. Fuck that. They can eat the dry meal worm and I'll leave them some water, but yeah. I was like, Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mother Teresa was a piece of shit. I'm kinda surprised they did a comic book about her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go and uh, do your research and uh, and you'll find out all about the wicked Mother Teresa and the only power strong enough to stop her is the combined forces of Jill Biden, Kamala Harris and Dolly Parton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you know what, you know what I find interesting is, you know, when, when you become a saint, you have, you're canonized, right? Unfortunately, that doesn't mean they shoot you out of a cannon. It literally means,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you said nowadays, Mother Teresa did some healing and the next day there was a hill there, people would check Google Earth and be like, there's no fucking, that hill was there last year, this is ridiculous. You could get away with a lot when it came to canonising saints back in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's exactly, I'm just reading the Wikipedia entry for her and that is exactly, she was canonized for owning Tavo in a game of CSGO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And of all the things to- I mean, that's just so fucking- First of all, that's completely tone deaf. Second of all, how is that funny? Actually, like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole point of an April Fool isn't to just fool people into thinking that you are going to die of an infectious disease that people are dying from around you. If he'd said, I got the bubonic plague, lol, then, you know, at least it's not topical. But to literally pluck COVID out of there, that's so fucking dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not using it, like, if someone cuts me up, or someone is reversing into me, or someone is clearly about to step out in front of my car, or someone has just endangered my car by being a prick, then yeah, they get a toot of the horn. Okay, I guess what I'm asking- Just in case they don't even fucking see you there, it's worth doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you'd encounter that as much in North America. I think the main reason is to alert another driver to your presence. Like that's pretty much it. So if they are pulling into your lane,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's a better way. There's a better way. And I spent a lot of time, in fact, when I'd been driving down to Bristol, this idea came to me. You know the way we have likes and we have all these emotes on Facebook?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about, cause we're gonna have heads up displays in cars. We need those. Urgently, I think. The other cars on the road have a rating. Like a, like a Google reviews rating out of five, or like an Uber rating out of five.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when you're, when you're coming along, you know when someone's waiting to come out, and you stop and give them a little flash of the lights, which you shouldn't do by the way, my driving instructor was very clear about that, you can point to a specific car and wave them, but you should never flash your lights, because another person might think you're flashing them, and then you have an accident, and you're liable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But can you imagine, you could upvote, you could have like, rate, you know, it's essentially a rate my driving. I don't want to see you, you'd get trolls going around there just downvoting everyone, but if you're doing that, then your rating is deleted. So if you're just going around downvoting everybody, you, like, you, you, your rating is diminished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but you'll get people, you know, so I'm driving along and I see someone pull out of a side street. Now I could slow down and let them out, and it pops up on their rating, 2.1. Fuck that, I'm not letting that guy out. That's the- that's how they learn. And they're like, oh, it's that bloody rating again, ugh! But they're getting pumped!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because if I let that guy out, he might have cut three people over and beeped an old lady on his way to that junction, and I'm there going, after you sir, and he's like, dickhead, and driving off. Whereas now I see his raking and I'm like, he ain't getting out, I'm gonna fucking go in front of him.