[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, there was that, you know, sort of paying attention to what's actually making it to air and then editing as you go.


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[Assistant] But, uh, once you got to the top five, and I got, I also got kind of lucky because, haha, alright, this is a little devious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know Dante? You know who that is? Yeah. Okay, so Dante was on my season. And for whatever reason, people were shunning Dante. They were just, uh, comedians didn't want to hang out with him, you know. They were kind of shunning him for being kind of a hack or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm just nice. If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you right back. Whatever you do on stage, I might have an opinion about it, but I'm not going to be a tease. So I was nice to Dante. Um, now we're in the top 10 or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, Dante's talking about, so we have to say in a confessional at some point on the show, I know I'm funnier than, and name another comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? And then whoever you got paired up against, you have to go against each other that night. Which is the worst thing, to have to sit there and say, I know I'm funnier than somebody, right? I hated that part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, what are you talking about? I was like, I mean, I've done all these commercials.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was running a sitcom with Rodney Carrington. They love me in the South. If someone says, I know I'm funnier than John Reap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think he went off and started telling other people, I wouldn't vote for John, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say that. Not if you want to get votes, I wouldn't say that against John. And then no one, no one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did not once that I have to defend myself or challenge anybody. I coasted to the top five. I didn't have to perform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there were times where it was more about the sets. Like I said, the shows had an identity crisis. It's changed its format many times and, you know, it would be canceled for a year and it would come back a year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the first year was when that fan won the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I really think put a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When DatFan right at the gate was the first one beating a lot of great comedians. No again, nothing against DatFan, but the, uh, the, uh, celebrity judges back then, I believe was, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, to pass and not that fan or some something like that. No, no, no, not that fan, but someone else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In terms of street cred, a lot of comedians are like, why would I go on this show? They're just gonna do what they want. You know? You have these judges for a reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that put a bad taste a lot of people's mouth in season three was a competition between season one and season two. They're not even for new people. It was just that. And then they took a year off or something, but I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, uh, my agent asking me, do you want to go audition? And I was doing fine. Like I, like I said, I already had the, I was on con, had already had the half hour special. I was, uh, had already done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a bunch of commercials. I'd already done this thing with Rodney characters. So I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I want to go down there and be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let someone edit me and look a certain way. You know, I was kind of like, I don't need it. No thanks. I said no for a long time until season five. And he said, well, this year they're going to do it different. They're actually looking for road tested comics who, if you win, can actually headline and do 45 minutes to an hour. You know, some of these people they would pass and didn't have over 20 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Established-ish comedians. You don't have to live in a house. First year, I think, they didn't have to live in a house. Everybody just got their own hotel rooms. And the prize money went up. My year, the prize money went up from $50,000 to $250,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll go down there. I had no, I didn't think I'd win. I knew they were going to paint me as the redneck. I sort of amped it up a little bit. I just didn't know. You know, so that was nice. So when you see me hugging LaVelle Crawford, one guy,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First place, $250,000. Second place, $0. Wow. Sorry, Lavelle. How much of that do you actually get? Well, after taxes, it's probably like a little more than half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sucks. And then, and they lock them down to like, uh, they, they get the worst contract. I've heard that too. Uh, the worst thing about this one was the actual tour that you had to do. Cause right when you win, that's when you got, that's you're hot. Let's go and make my money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna get, I'm gonna be, uh, in Hawaii getting married.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, oh, well, if you win, we'll see. And so they let me out of it. So they let me, which means Lavelle Crawford is now closing. Yeah. For those two weeks. So I got to come back on the tour after Lavelle's been crushing and closing. And then I go, uh, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The worst part about the tour though was, do you guys know Jerry D at all?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know who he is. I think I have met, yeah. Jerry D is great. Jerry D is one of the funniest dudes you'll ever see. Where's he from? Canada. So he's crushing it in Canada right now. He's, I think he's the host of the Family Feud up there in Canada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's had his own sitcom up there in Canada for a long time. Doing absolutely great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, me and Jerry got along. We almost look identical anyway. I mean, of course we're gonna get along, right? And then you got, uh, Amy Schumer. Cool. Fun. Uhm, then you've got Ralph Harrison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Lavelle Crawford who were always late to the tour bus. Like it wasn't even one time where they were on time. I'm talking 30 minutes, 20, a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so finally Jerry D is like, I'm going to say something to Ralph. This is enough, dude. He's not, he's, he's the MC. Yeah. And he's, he came in fifth and he's the last one on this tour. I was like, Jerry, I mean, don't, don't just let it go, man. He's like, no, I've had enough. I'm going to say something. You got my back. And I'm like, I don't have my back. What are you talking about? I don't have your back. Anyway, Ralph Harris comes on the bus late and Jerry, Jerry's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like really giving it to him and then, and then they just got this huge tiff or they're like face to face yelling each other like this and I'm pulling Jerry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Back this way, Lavelle's pulling Ralph that back, so it almost got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Literally pulling his back. Like I have your back to come this way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeah, that was the toughest part was doing the tour and Amy was funny. Uh, she ran out of material pretty much. She'll, she'll tell you that she was young and, uh, was happy to get as far as she did. Uh, but I would say in the challenges, you know, off the cuff, the quickest one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the quickest wit of anybody. Very fast, very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the room with a random situation that would take place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it didn't help, it didn't help Lavelle's case one time when Amy won a challenge. They did a speed dating challenge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, so now everyone's like trying to come up with jokes for that. And then you didn't even use them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you did speed dead, it was like, oh, it's a random clown. Oh, it's a random cowboy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you gotta, now you gotta do jokes on the fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not ones that you had 15 minutes to kind of come up with. Now it's like right now in the moment and, uh, Amy crushed it. It was the funniest one. Ben Lavelle thought he was going to win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that didn't make him look good. So I think over time people started not liking him for these little small reasons on the show. Meanwhile, I'm like, hey, let's have some fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think that helped me. Matt Kirshen, also very funny guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Matt's very funny. I love me some Matt Kirshen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For just the judges in the very beginning, is that, is that the level? Yeah, that's the level I got. All right. So that's the hardest part of all of it in my opinion, because there's no crowd. Yeah. You know, you just got these other comedians that are like, maybe they, maybe they know you, maybe they don't know you, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I got lucky when they said save it, save it. I got lucky that they kind of knew who I was and they liked me. Like Alonzo Bowden I've done comedy shows with and he was a judge. So I've, I felt pretty comfortable there, but you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he took a step out and was like, this is not going well, is it? And then he started roasting himself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then that went well and I think he went through just based on that. I think, I can't remember, but I remember him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause I know he's great, but he just didn't have a good experience, but he's so funny, he made fun of that and that was working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember thinking, oh, good for him for being able to do that in that moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish they would show old episodes of it. I would love to watch other seasons before me now. You know, John Heffern was season two or three. I'd love to go back and watch old sets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said, well, you know, this moment's not live. They're just filming it. And they, they want...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The best stuff, you know, sometimes they're fishing to get you to say something bad about another comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What Doug was, what Doug would do, and they tell you to repeat the question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you repeat the question. So Doug would do that, repeat the question, and then he would, he would sit there and think about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, he wouldn't be in a hurry. He'd think about it and be like, just put his head down. When he thought something good, he would present it that way. Whereas I was like, oh!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so, you know, I'm nervous, energy going, I'm doing all this stuff. Doug was just very calm and, you know, so Doug, Doug did well on the show, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a good way. If you're in that moment, you know, if you're in an interview like that, just really stop and think about it. Cause they're not going to air that. That's not live. They'll cut that awkward pause out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can make a documentary about anything. It's about one subject matter and you can just get in there and learn all about that one thing. And this one I'm talking about, the documentary is about this family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Deciding to air their lives for everyone to see. So that's what it was about.


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[Assistant] Kind of first reality show, also a documentary. Documentary didn't have to be about a reality show, it could be about anything. I love documentaries, docuseries, that's all I watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real people was awesome. They had Skip Stevenson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This good looking blonde headed guy that was kind of funny that mostly good looking. And they said, well, you're perfect for this. Um, yeah, they would just, uh, highlight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, by the way, who was the first host of The Daily Show?


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[Assistant] And I thought, wow, yeaah, this, this is before I knew who Vince Vaughn was.


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[Assistant] That show was, yeaah, they would just find almost people that were too amazing for real people.


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[Assistant] For your own good. Don't, don't say you're funnier than me. For you, for you, for you. I'm giving you this as a heads up.


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[Assistant] They're not gonna vote for someone they don't like. Yeah. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Luckily my kind of comedy lends itself to likability anyway. I'm sort of that kind of guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if, but I also think they're great comedians who are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I enjoy all types, so it's kinda harder for guys like that to do a show like that where you have to get people to like you to make them


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Call and vote. That's it's own, it's a whole, it's it's own.


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[Assistant] Danny Bonaduce, you almost killed that guy at an awards show one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Google, look up that video. You can see like.


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[Assistant] Johnny Fairplay is giving some speech at some awards show and everybody's booing him.


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[Assistant] And he bodyslams, and I think he broke his nose. Like he really hurt him. Cause Fairplay, as an idiot, jumped on...


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[Assistant] He lands on his head and he's literally broke his nose or something really bad happened right there and had to go to the hospital. Wow. What'd you get for jumping on the douche man? Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, that's, yeaah. You want fair play? I'll show you fair play. I'll break your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I wouldn't want to walk around in real life, people knowing that you're bad, not pretending you're bad.


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[Assistant] Well, there's a lot of that on Netflix now where they just said, oh, you want reality and a little bit of a raunchy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one I didn't, like I told you real world, I stopped watching them for a long time. Then when I moved back home, I started watching with my parents, the, uh, big brother, celebrity big brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that one because I kinda know these people a little bit and then you get to see maybe how they act, you know, reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope so. Oh, you should come out on stage to whatever song she sang. That should be your dream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, even, even like watching the OJ chase when the cops were chasing him, that sort of became a reality thing that we all watched together. Did you watch that live? I did. I happened to be at a buddy's house watching the NBA finals. We had people over there. They cut away from that to watch that, which was way more entertaining at the time because that game was not good. I remember. Yeah, there's a 35.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who was in that, that day, that game, who was playing it? And you'll look at the team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the Houston Rockets versus the New York Knicks. So that's the game that they cut away from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if that's the thing, like now you're so good at it that you go off and tour and worldwide you're known as.


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[Assistant] I would do it. I would totally do it. I wouldn't be good now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just cause I'm older, I would have been good, you know, 20 years ago, but now I would still do it just to, cause you know you'd be getting in shape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they're just basically paying you to work out. So there's exposure, there's health reasons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, February 11th, I'm going to be performing in Cornelius, North Carolina, a brand new performing arts theater. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, tickets at johnrape.com. There's more tour dates up there. I'm playing Glasgow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No peace treaties will be signs, but it will be peaceful and fun. Uh, johnreap.com for all my tour dates. Listen to my podcast from time to time, country-ish. Nate's been on it. You've been on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I am, uh, I was going to run for mayor of Hickory until I realized I don't live in Hickory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This just in. All these years, I've been sitting here talking about hickory, hickory, hickory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go down to the register of deeds. I make, by the way, I already knew the answer. I was just trying to get publicity just for fun. I dressed up in a seersucker suit. I called the radio station. I called newspaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, you want to come down to watch me throw my hat in the ring to run for mayor? They're like, oh, that'd be cool. Charlotte news vans are showing up. I'm out in the park a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give him a little interview and I'll walk in and I knew the answer. And I walked in and I was like, yep, John Rape would like to, uh, run for mayor. And they go, okay, what's your address? I give them my address. The guy's like, uh, you did not, uh, you're not eligible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you cannot run from there. And I looked right at the camera and went, whoopsie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the weird thing about this whole story, the current mayor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, he annexed, he don't, he lives further away from Hickory than me. He just annexed his house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said this outlet and the outlet in the kitchen for some reason are tied together. So you can't, if the microwave's running, you got to unplug your computer downstairs. And let me tell you, that's a big problem in my life right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mexico, that's been on the calendar for 11 months, so of course I didn't think to get a passport until two weeks ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at the picture. This is the picture that I got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I asked the guy, should I take this off? And he was like, nah, you're good. So that guy rejected. So I missed the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to fly to a passport agency and get a passport in person and the only appointment available in the entire country was Buffalo, New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So during the podcast last week, I was flying to Buffalo to get a passport, got it in in the nick of time and now I'm back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a competition show, and it's British. Sounds like it. It's British, but it's fascinating the difference between American television and British television because it's a competition show, but you know nothing about these people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They give you like a five second look into their life and then it's all just about, it's fun, it's encouraging, it's not overly dramatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's totally the opposite of what you're talking about. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, I like that. And you get to see some nice cakes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like cake week. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. Biscuit week, not so much, but I'm into the cakes. Why don't you like biscuits? Oh, like the cookie biscuit. Yeah. They call them biscuits. You don't like cookies? They were regular biscuits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel like you're healthier now? You eat less junk food that maybe you appreciate it more? Cause it's kind of a rare. I love it. It's like a treat. You feel like you've earned it in a way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sounds like a Jamie Johnson song. Yeaah. I was in Birmingham last night, I'm sorry, I siphoned some of your ticket sales, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think all your digestive problems, you don't need to be digging in the skyline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people are writing in that they have to pull over while listening. That's really nice. I want one of you to just keep going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be a much better story. I was in a wreck. And my car's totaled. Yeah, push through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was too upset, I protested. This parade looks pretty crazy, man. Is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this the square we're looking at right here? Yep. So the parade is just, so the school bus is coming through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you dig a hole in the ground and then the walls would insulate you. That's what I would do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was 12 hours of my life. You just completely misled me the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The movie is based on a true story, and it takes place in Odessa, Texas. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The television show is in a fictional town of Dillon, Texas. And it's loosely based on the book and the movie. You'd like both of them, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But everything's bigger in Texas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the DFW, uh, metro population is 7.5 million people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, San Antonio's Metro is 2.6 million. So we're not even, I mean, not even ballpark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1.3 million in the actual city. And then, wow, San Antonio, 1.4 million in the actual city. You're right, Brian. You did your research.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're in Mississippi. It would be a huge deal. Oh yeah. There'd be an NCIS San Antonio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're right in front of the opposing team's dugout, which I think never gets talked about, but it's pretty nerve wracking. Probably a lot of trash talk. I used to get, uh, people say some mean stuff to me back in the day. What was some stuff they would say about you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, this is, it was ruthless back in the day, man. You played third base. Oh yeah. East Montgomery baseball. You're standing in front of the opposing teams dugout. We'd be yelling stuff at each other. It was fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes, yeah. You were at third base? Played third base pitch. Oh, okay. I think about first bases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did catch a little bit. I got bad knees though, man. It is tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. How does it catch the squat down like that? You have the knee savers in behind the knees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just your sternum's just exposed right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now it's a national historic landmark. Oh, okay. Might not even be privately owned anymore. There you go. They got it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There it is, there's the lane. It's got a pool, looks nice. Yea, I couldn't see it from the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so. Were they like a teen heartthrob band at one point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is, if I were to remove one of these from the band, I'd definitely pick that guy. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a lot. He died in a plane crash, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they think it was found next to bones of extinct species of horses, camels, mammoths. Yeah. So they can use context clues. Yeah. Must have been around the same time, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But a relatively modest home, it looks like, unless it goes super deep and it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got a bit of a compound, but from the outside it looks like pretty modest home. Where's that at?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello apparel. Yea, it's a consignment store right next to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of the funniest things I've ever, it's one of the first times on the road with Dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's this local radio guy hosted the show, so he gets all of Dusty's credits, and your credits at the time were...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jimmy Kimmel, you just done Jimmy Kimmel. TMZ. Yeah. And you're from Nashville. Yeah. And that's what you asked him to say. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He could have been, he could have been free. It was a free for all in that show. I don't think there was a single employee of the casino in the room with us. Huge room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But off to the side of the casino, so they go, hey, it's Mother's Day. Everybody's there for the Mother's Day buffet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're gonna pop over and see the show. It was just chaos in there. I bombed so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the same casino we were at, but this is not where we were at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Global Helium production was centered near Amarillo with the production of almost all the world's supply for over a decade prior to World War II.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1% of $10 is, uh, yeaah, it's more than a penny. And you get that every day?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would have ten dollars and ten cents in your account. If it was one percentage, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's insured. I think it's all insured. Yeah. But that could go all right. Remember FDIC? Remember, it's a wonderful life. That's what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right, right. So they take everyone's money out of their accounts in the whole town. Yeah, yeah. Scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, they don't have that amount in cash at the bank. Yeah. So if everybody went to withdraw, it'd be a real big problem. Yeah, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just found my, uh, when I was born, people in my family, I got two U S savings bonds for like 50 bucks and they just matured to the, they're worth a hundred bucks each now. All right. Doubled in value. Took 30 years, but they, uh, they doubled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She seems pretty, I mean, this is a picture of her, it says Oprah vindicated. She seems pretty excited that she won.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Texas, I'm thinking the names that jump in when I say Texas. Yea, but would you say Rogan, he's not from Texas. Well, he's, he's Texas. Yea, that's a weird


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beyonce is up there too, probably. Right? She's from Houston. I don't, I feel like I wouldn't even know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So I have to turn around and come back, tail between my legs, act like nothing happened.


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[Assistant] Some conspiracy theorists have connected the Jade Helm 15 military exercise with an apocalypse caused by a comet or asteroid striking the earth.


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[Assistant] Another, another way to go, we go, it did happen and you just didn't even realize it. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they didn't, it didn't sneak up on them. Y2K, it's like they saw it coming on the calendar.


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[Assistant] You wanna save that for next week to talk, like, I have some questions about the title and stuff. We can talk about that.


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[Assistant] I'm San Diego, California this weekend. Mike drop comedy club. Pretty excited Friday and Saturday. Three shows come on out.


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[Assistant] But then if you leave a house that hasn't been there for a month, nobody's been there for a month, you come, it's dusty.


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[Assistant] In the memo you put, orderly walked on the field.


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[Assistant] I remember when we were at the Vandy Tennessee game when Vandy beat Tennessee and you went on the field and told Derrick Mason you loved him.


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[Assistant] It was fun. I'd forgotten, uhm.


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[Assistant] And this is back in my heyday. So I worked this weekend with, uh, Marty Simpson, who was the kicker at South Carolina. He was an all-American high school kid, maybe the number one kicker in the.


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[Assistant] Country in high school. He kicked a 61 yard field goal in high school.


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[Assistant] And stayed at home, went to South Carolina and he said,


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[Assistant] And I forgot that, but they used to have, even on field goals or extra points, they had a little block out there where they would kick off. And then the NCAA said kickers are getting too good, so let's make them kick off the ground. And he said he was never quite the same. He was very average in college, by his words.


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[Assistant] But I've forgotten that. They used to have a block out there.


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[Assistant] For the kickoff and the field goals too. Field goals, they still have it for obviously the kickoffs, but field goals, the snapper would put it on a tee. Yeaah, when was this? 1990 I think they changed, his freshman year, right when he started college.


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[Assistant] He said he hit a trombone player one time. Really? He hooked it so far left that it nailed a trombone player.


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[Assistant] And their big thing they've been saying all year is they're going to do the checker board in a visiting stadium, Vanderbilt stadium.


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[Assistant] Oh, you know how the fans and they were going to do that. Had you heard that? Yeah.


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[Assistant] And, and I mean, I guess I'll still try, but I think some of the wins out there sell.


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[Assistant] I was with Leann Morgan in, uh, Fayetteville, North Carolina, Columbia, South where the night before the game, we were there in Columbia and then Chattanooga. Great, great shows.


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[Assistant] Well, because, uh, I was with Leanne and it was, Atlanta was the connection.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it wasn't our destination. Okay. But still it's just, it's amazing that quick of a flight. Like the plane just doesn't even get up in the air and it's just immediately. We had no drinks.


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[Assistant] What's the first, besides military, I guess first class, first thing they call it.


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[Assistant] She's in first class, so she boards. So now the lady stuck with me and she's like, I'm sorry, that, that's just, that was a famous comedian right there that we were talking to. And I was like, yeah, I'm actually a comedian too. She's like, oh, okay. All right.


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[Assistant] So then they start calling, I don't know what, priority, whatever. They go through so many, there's like 10 levels, you know, main cabin one make, and finally she has to go. Like, it's just so funny.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was nice talking to you. And then I get on the plane, you know, and I see her again. I have to pass her as I head to the back in main group 12 or whatever.


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[Assistant] I think Key and Peele has a very funny sketch about that.


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[Assistant] I was in TSA pre-check line of the day and a guy comes through, we're standing there, guy comes through, just has a badge of some sort and just kind of shows it to the TSA. And I mean, they immediately like, oh yeah, come on through. And I'm thinking this guy must be somebody very important.


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[Assistant] And then I get up there to where the, where you put your luggage in and they're patting him down and he goes through and it beeps and they're like, come back through. We got to do it again. So it's very strange. Like they act like he ran the airport and then I ended up passing him because they're doing multiple patties.


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[Assistant] Well my daughter always, uh, helps bring things back to reality.


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[Assistant] I think he'd be a fun teacher because he's like...


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[Assistant] If you do a good job, your answer is between 200 million and 500 million. Somebody says, how much? 200 million. Next guy, 500 million. Both good answers.


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[Assistant] I read the article, it seemed like it was very admirable. He wants his kids to grow up and...


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[Assistant] No, he's keeping it. I don't know, but.


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[Assistant] I mean it seemed like it was, he had good intentions for sure. Little secrets out now.


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[Assistant] That'd be, you'd be a better chance with the football field to get the right guy.


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[Assistant] We're all wearing devices under our uniform that tipped us off to the pitches.


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[Assistant] I don't think, I mean, I'm sure there's some degree of, you know, somebody that maybe puts in a good word and so, you know, but I don't know that everyone's doing what those people did. That was pretty severe stuff they were doing.


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[Assistant] I know, I love how we just got through saying, just go out and find your own way and we'll make it zero sum game narrow. It's all rigged. We're hopeless.


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[Assistant] Well FP, you would be wrong because I read every comment and go through and select them out. Now you did a good job of tricking me into getting your comment read, but I wanted to make the point that no, I read them all.


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[Assistant] Well the funny thing is, most people know now that I read the emails, cause we've read that, said that more than once. But some people still don't know, so they'll like, Nate, you're my favorite comedian, I saw you blah blah blah blah, I just think, you know, and I'll just reply,


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[Assistant] I was about to say, why don't you just wait to get into it when we talked about it?


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[Assistant] Well, I kept saying, let's talk about it. I thought I said down there, let's talk about it upstairs. Uhm, well, the topic's the World Cup.


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[Assistant] I'm going to frustrate a lot of people today cause I don't know that much about soccer. So the people who really into it are going to get really frustrated with me.


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[Assistant] I'd say in Alabama back then, especially probably wasn't up high.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And league's there, but we didn't. Brian's like, you could leave Lebanon.


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[Assistant] I went to Hickory Hall and Mall once a year at Christmas and that was getting out of Lebanon.


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[Assistant] Uh, but it is the most popular sport in the world.


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[Assistant] Not as many as other sports. Been it like Beckham? Did you ever see that?


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[Assistant] He says, of all, of course they call it football, of all the unimportant things, football is the most important.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Uhm, so it originated from a Chinese sport called Kuju. C-U-J-U. They, uh,


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[Assistant] Similar, kicking a ball, had to go through a net, but there was no goalkeeper, you just had to get it through the hole in the net. And it kind of, I mean, that's around, uh, second, third century BC. So even during Jesus' time, there was some soccer going on.


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[Assistant] You gotta kick it high. You gotta do a lot of bicycle kicks.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I don't know if you could hit it with your head back then, but. That ballpark is so heavy. Yeah. Yeah. Just a rock. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Uh, modern soccer came about in 1863. That's when the football association was formed in Europe. And, uh, the reason it's called soccer and not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Football. Everybody thinks that's an American word. It was actually, it's not, it was a British word. So.


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[Assistant] It was invented by Oxford students. Rug, there was, they called soccer associated football. It's still called associated football, but then there was rugby football.


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[Assistant] So people are getting confused, which football they're talking about. So they shortened rugby to rugger, and they shorted, they shorted association to a soccer. Okay. Which I know is a little bit of a stretch, and then they shortened it to just soccer.


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[Assistant] But it never even took off there because it became so popular that if you called it football, everybody knew you were just talking about what you were talking about.


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[Assistant] Somehow it's stuck here, but not, and we're not the only country that calls it soccer. I thought we were the only country. I think Australia calls it soccer.


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[Assistant] I think there's two or three other English speaking countries that call it soccer.


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[Assistant] Uh, it's so, it's such a popular sport worldwide. Uhm, a war broke out because of a soccer match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 100 year, 100 hour war, uhm, or the football wars it's called between, uh, El Salvador and Honduras. And there was some...


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[Assistant] Questionable calls in this World Cup qualifying match that people got so upset that they started rioting and fighting.


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[Assistant] And then international relations between these two countries just got so out of hand that a war broke out.


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[Assistant] And uh, after a little bit over three days, they worked out a peace agreement and got things straightened out, but, but people died from it. That's crazy.


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[Assistant] There was one riot, uh, there's been a few where people have died, uhm, the worst 300 fans died. 500 injured between Peru and Argentina.


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[Assistant] Well, that's next week's episode, but, uh, yeah, that just happened in South Korea. Like a few weeks ago, there was some type of big festival and people got out of hand and people die.


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[Assistant] You'll like this one, Dusty. So this soccer match in Congo between these two teams and a thunderbolt struck the field, killed all 11 players on one team. Other team, nobody got hurt.


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[Assistant] And the rumor is a voodoo doctor did some black magic on the visiting team. Wow.


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[Assistant] I don't know if this, this is just, no, this is magic. Like magic, magic. So, uh, it's not with a K.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and did a voodoo curse on the other team.


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[Assistant] It's in the Congo, I bet they don't. I don't think this was like a big, like.


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[Assistant] So now the World Cup started, uh, it's in Qatar this year and... Qatar. Qatar. Oh, I thought


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[Assistant] On the news, they were calling it Qatar. Okay.


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[Assistant] Over in equator, but we don't like any word with a Q that doesn't have a U next to it.


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[Assistant] Well, it is so hot there that it's the first World Cup held in the winter time because it's so hot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's still so hot there, even now, that...


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[Assistant] All the stadiums have air conditioning piped in to cool the field and the, and the fans. It's equivalent to 45,000 air conditioners going.


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[Assistant] But during the day it's probably. Yea, it's night time there. I think even during the day.


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[Assistant] It's getting pretty warm. They said the winter is the most humid time of year there. Oh, so dry. It's a wet heat. Yeah. So it'll be 82, 83.


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[Assistant] World Cup's the most viewed, uh, sporting event in the world. Although I kept...


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[Assistant] It's amazing how you Google something, you get so many different answers. It seemed like that would be pretty cut and dry. More things I read, said, the World Cup.


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[Assistant] But, some things said the Olympics, a few things said Tour de France.


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[Assistant] I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you guy, I'm just telling you there's articles out there that say it's the most viewed and- It doesn't seem fun to watch.


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[Assistant] Well, there was, you asked once on this podcast, I think, because we were looking at the most viewed, because it was like three and a half billion people that watched the last World Cup. And you said, is that one event, is that over all those weeks? And I don't think we ever got the answer. That's over like three weeks.


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[Assistant] Well, I'd say out of five articles, three said the world cup, one said Olympics.


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[Assistant] We lost, we haven't lost since then or? No, we won in 2012, 2016.


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[Assistant] But that championship game, wasn't it? I mean, Spain was tough.


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[Assistant] Yea, Vegas training. They go out and party, have a wonderful time. Dwayne Wade, I think, is telling the story.


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[Assistant] And then they come back in to their hotel like four or five in the morning and Kobe's in the lobby lacing up his sneakers and he's got like on weighted vest.


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[Assistant] They're like, what are you doing? And he's leaving to go work out.


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[Assistant] Because he was taking it so serious and then pretty soon they all started getting up and working out and by the end of the week or something they were all doing it.


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[Assistant] I love that. Yeah. Carmella said, I never got up that early, but I did start getting up.


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[Assistant] Uh, but anyway, the World Cup, the last World Cup in 2018, 3.5 billion people watched it. The final match between France and Croatia, 1.12 billion people watched that match. Wow. That's like Taylor Swift numbers.


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[Assistant] Only eight countries have won the World Cup. That's kind of surprising to me. Only two continents.


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[Assistant] How many World Cups have been played? Started in 1930, so it hadn't been around forever, but however, every four years since 1930.


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[Assistant] I would've guessed those two if you said there's only two, but it's amazing, like Asia, nobody in Asia. Mhm. It's won the World Cup. Only eight countries, Brazil's won five times, Germany and Italy have won four.


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[Assistant] Argentina, Uruguay and France twice, and Spain and England once.


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[Assistant] Yep, yep. So this year the format, there's 32 teams.


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[Assistant] So there's 32 teams and they're, I barely understand this, but there's four teams and eight different groups and.


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[Assistant] The two top teams from each one of those advance to the 16. And then once you get to 16, it's single elimination.


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[Assistant] Two for a tie and one for a loss. And then the two top teams with the most points advance.


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[Assistant] I don't know, and I may be wrong, but I'm making all this stuff up, but I think that's what I read. Could you look that up to see? But I don't know if they like, if there's, yeah, if there's two teams have the same amount of points, I don't know what they do.


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[Assistant] So this year is by far the costliest World Cup in history. $220 billion. They built seven new stadiums in Qatar, seven brand new stadiums, uh, for this event.


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[Assistant] So the big, so there's no alcohol in Qatar and they'd made a deal with FIFA that you couldn't sell it. Well, maybe you could sell it in the stadium.


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[Assistant] I thought there were certain stations, I guess, set up that you could still buy beer. Budweiser is the sponsor and then last minute the, I guess, king or whatever it is of Qatar said, no, no alcohol.


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[Assistant] He said he watched the podcast and you talked about how much it's changed your life and he's like, nah.


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[Assistant] So the England, I think that's what you're about to talk about England's, uh, wags, wives and girlfriends are all in a billion dollar cruise ship called the party palace. And because it's an international waters.


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[Assistant] A lot of people arrived and they found out when they got there and were like, oh boy.


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[Assistant] So you'd be right down front with your berry gargle binoculars?


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[Assistant] It was great. We had a great time. We had a very fun time.


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[Assistant] I think yesterday's opening match was Mexico or someone, they started chanting from the stands, we want beer.


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[Assistant] Uh, in Spanish, whatever, however that translates. It's a, it's a big deal over there. Are they in jail now?


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[Assistant] The home country automatically gets to go and they start the opening match. And I think I heard Qatar was the first home country to ever lose in the opening match. Oh, really?


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[Assistant] But like the Titans are, are fighting to get a $2 billion stadium and that's $220 billion for the World Cup.


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[Assistant] I mean, some, the Titans said they'll chip in some, the state of Tennessee said they'll put in 500 million if it's a dome stadium.


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[Assistant] There's like a 1% hotel motel tax that the hotels have to pay, but they're like...


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[Assistant] It's a 1% increase on the hotel motel tax. One free ticket a year.


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[Assistant] So the favorite this year, uh, to win is Brazil.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, all about Argentina and France.


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[Assistant] They play over in Europe, but then there's guys from South America that play over there. So it's, uh, yeah, it gets confusing. It seems like a lot for us is what it, yeah.


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[Assistant] But we know every football player, where they went to college, where they're playing pro, and where they played in high school.


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[Assistant] So I looked up greatest soccer player of all time. Again, there's some.


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[Assistant] It's just their culture. I mean, I think they just.


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[Assistant] Somebody's always going to have won the most. It's not like they've just dominated, but they have won the most.


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[Assistant] But I would say Alabama is so dominant football because in Alabama, there ain't a lot else going on. So they care so much about it that they will always find a way to take it really, really serious.


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[Assistant] He's like, everyone makes fun of us, but just lucky that we don't have our best guys go like LeBron. We dominate that too, which I don't know if that's true, but the USA, you would think we're never close to the best in soccer because we don't care as much.


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[Assistant] So the top player, uh, FIFA rewards that, like the MVP, it's called the, I can't say it, the Ballon d'Or winner. Messi is one of the most.


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[Assistant] Well, the top, the guy who's won the most, Messi, he's won seven. Wow.


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[Assistant] Messi's won seven, he's won the most, Ronaldo's won five, but they, the award was only given to European football players up until 1995. So Pele never had a chance to win it. They went back and looked and said, if he were in the running, he would have won seven also.


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[Assistant] There was a Rinaldo before this Rinaldo.


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[Assistant] It's massive. Oh, okay. The most famous, uh, American player? Because no.


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[Assistant] David Beckham is by far, they said the most famous major league soccer player we ever had. Cause like you said, he came over at the end of his career and played for LA galaxy. Okay. So a trick question. Landon Donovan. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Landon Donovan is the most accomplished Major League Soccer player of all time. The MVP award is called the Landon Donovan MVP award.


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[Assistant] The major league soccer. Now there's a guy, maybe here, you're talking about Christian Polasek? No, no, no.


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[Assistant] You know, Jack Nicholas was probably still considered the greatest golfer, but Tiger was so dominant. They're like, well, this guy's good.


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[Assistant] There's two guys from Nashville SC on the World Cup team. That's cool. There we go.


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[Assistant] Alright, so uhm, greatest moments in soccer history, uhm, two I found were in the same game, four minutes apart.


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[Assistant] So Diego Maradona of Argentina is called the Hand of God.


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[Assistant] Little bit of his hand and the referees didn't see it and it counted and later on when they asked him about it, uhm, I guess that's it right there.


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[Assistant] They asked him about it later, did, you know, and he's like, well, there's a little bit of my head and a little bit of the hand of God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the one that Argent, no, no, no, no. Argentina won this game against England because, partially because of that. And uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called the hand of gods, maybe the most famous moment in...


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[Assistant] Soccer history. The jersey worn by him.


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[Assistant] In that game sold for 9.3 million dollars at auction earlier this year.


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[Assistant] The ball from, from that goal, the ref somehow kept it even though he's the one that messed it up. He sold it at auction for $2.4 million.


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[Assistant] So he didn't put it on public display, he sold it for 2 million and then he hopes whoever bought it will do that. Yea, to get his life back after making that.


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[Assistant] In the same match, the same guy had the goal of the century.


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[Assistant] Same guy, four minutes later and he marches the ball all the way down and just runs through everybody and then kicks his scores, goes nuts.


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[Assistant] You know, every year for 2022, three of the top five are soccer players.


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[Assistant] Messy's number one. He's worth 130 million.


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[Assistant] Daniel earnings, they get more in endorsements than they even do in salary. Uhm, he's number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, Renato's number two, $150 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think LeBron was number two, uh, Renato was three, Neymar was fourth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a lot of basketball player, uh, uh, Roger Federer, tennis player was up there. G, uh, Giannis was up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, so, uh, there's a documentary and I think it may be a 30 30 called, um, the two Escobars and it's about Columbia and how Pablo Escobar was bringing fear on the country and everyone was scared to death of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then on the Columbia national team, there was Andreas Escobar and he was bringing hope and.


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[Assistant] And then in the 1994 World Cup, he accidentally knocked the ball into his, deflected into his own goal and they lost the match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then two weeks later when he came home to Columbia, some drug cartel people shot him in his car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. So. The goalie? No, he wasn't the goalie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He accidentally deflected the ball into his own goal. It caused them to lose. Two weeks later, when he's back home in Columbia, he gets murdered.


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[Assistant] Uhm, there's a couple of famous fog matches.


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[Assistant] There was one where the goalie stood in the goal for 15 minutes after the game had been canceled because it was so foggy. He didn't know.


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[Assistant] Finally a police officer came 15 minutes later up to him and said, why are you still here? Like the games. And then he said he went in the locker room and everyone had already showered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Snopes, Snopes looked into it. That's not the actual guy, but they said it really did happen. There's, it really had happened. That's just not the actual photo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there was another one many years later, this was after World War II when they were back to doing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like friendly matches. It was Russia and England's 50,000 people in the stands and it got so foggy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That Russia started sending extra players out on the field and nobody could tell because it was so foggy. That's awesome. Hey, I think both teams maybe they said did it, but it's classic. There's some video of it. I think I've maybe sent you. Is friendly.


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[Assistant] Like it doesn't count, it's just an exhibition I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe I didn't say too, I thought I sent you a video of the thong. I don't have that one. Okay, not bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the 2026 World Cup, uh, is in North America and it's going to be in the US, Mexico and Canada. So we're all in the US.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's a few locations. I think Atlanta is hosting it. Nashville bit on it and, uh, didn't make the final cut, but I think the closest place to here is Atlanta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Michael Scott? What is it he says? You have 24 hours. And you have 20, yeah. Or something like that. She's like, what does that mean? He's like, I don't know. They always say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, in the host country, they, you know, gets to do it, but there's three host countries, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess Mexico, US and Canada, if your dad or your father-in-law still wants to coach. They'll have a team in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have interest. The interest is the same. It's just that you just gotta, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] January 6th, going to be in Washington DC, me and Dusty are going to finish the job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now January 6th, I'm going to be in Atlanta, uh, ASW Whiskey Exchange, uhm, one night there, come, tickets on my website, come see me, say hello.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It reminded me of when you start and you're just doing shows and you're like, people don't, they're like, I don't, you know, where are you up there? And you're like, and I was doing my act.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're, which always feels weird when you're really like in your jokes and you're like, dude, nobody. By the way, 20.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life is busy and your well-being is important. Athletic Greens makes it so easy to get the vitamins you need everyday with just one scoop. Athletic Greens is giving you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and


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[Assistant] Five free travel packs with your first purchase. That's athleticgreens.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd love to dig around, even just drive though would be fun, but dig around. Digging around with some stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'll be two, doing two nights back to back at the grand old Opry. Oh, nice. That's nice. It's going to be a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they don't know what I'm up to in there. People normally don't talk to me until after I've done comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But prior to they're like, I don't know who this guy is eating all the popcorn back here. Yeah, just the confidence on this guy. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if Rebecca Guy can come around, we can all come around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I'm curious about is, what did you need money for so bad?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What'd you say? He said self-poison for gas, but I think he meant for grass. Did I say gas? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it was my job, so yea, I was getting money to buy gas. I was selling poison for gas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never known any of this. I don't think any of my neighbors are getting free trash pickup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like maybe glass. I could see you melting down glass and making something out of it, but not the plastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I don't think, I don't think they're recycling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it Sizzlin' or Sizzler? Sizzlin'. That's where he worked. Yeah, he used to work there a bit. Was there a Western Sizzler? No, it was Sizzler. I think Sizzler is on the west coast. The Sizzler. The Sizzler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's a couple people I like from Auburn, you know, growing up, but for the most part, I didn't care for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They felt like they were, you know, in the Lee County area, Auburn always felt like they were better than, than Opel Ica.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some trailers over there. They act like there's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tables in there, we had steaks too, you know. That's when the guy sweated in the green beans. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Customers aren't far from wanting to fight you, uh, as their waiter in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In elementary school, we had, they had taken all the stalls off the toilets and there was just three toilets there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this guy, Opelika, and this guy was, uh, on the toilet and he's like, uh, he's like, oh, this is so embarrassing. And I remember just continuing to pee at the urinal. Like being like, yeah, it is. I don't know what to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm already, so it's like, I kind of feel this basketball team where they're like, yeah, this is weird for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That just seems like, I mean, if I'm on the toilet in the stall, and then a guy comes and sits next to me, and then America, horse with no name starts playing, I mean that just, I don't know. That's a hot song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Lowe's, in the Lowe's Home Depot days, I mean, people are always blowing up those bathrooms. I mean, non-stop. And people will just be in there taking calls. You'll be on, and they'll be like, oh yeah, I got a job coming, you know, and they're like just conducting business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a logo on it? Yeah. Hey Bear is really taking off. Like, like really like, like people in my, in one of my shows in the audience yelled out Hey Bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, but that's it. He got a laugh out of you. And then he's like, Oh, I'm, I'm helping this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, I don't think so, but yeah, Columbus, Georgia is where my, my dad first saw me bomb and, uh, I was just featuring, uh, and, but this-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it just went downhill. Does she have a clean toast? She did come up with something. She bumbled around and came up with something. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our next partner has a product we've just started using every day. We all started taking athletic greens because none of us eat very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we are all looking for simple ways to try and be more healthy. This is a great start to the morning. This special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy recovery, focus, and aging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The taste is great and it's easy to make and drink quickly. One scoop of powder with water, shake and drink. The travel packs are great for when any of us are on the road. You can easily pour into a bottle of water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Consulate contains less than one gram of sugar, no GMOs, no nasty chemicals or artificial anything. Supports better sleep quality and recovery and also mental clarity and alertness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a cheaper, it is cheaper than getting all the different supplements yourself. It costs less than $3 a day. Right now, it's time to reclaim your health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And help your immune system with convenient daily nutrition, especially heading into the flu and cold season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just one scoop and a cup of water every day. That is it. No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.


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[Assistant] To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate. Again, that's AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To take ownership of your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, since we're talking about people getting kicked out of the club and we're talking about Arizona, uh, me and Aaron were in Phoenix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He could not banter with him. He was blacked out. And like the, uh, a guy from the club goes, some of these guys are on their fourth warnings or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like if you're inside, you're okay? Or does it destroy your house?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine two tank tops in, in like the, you know, in your rubbing up skin shoulders. Yeah. And you got your shorts bumping knees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, wasn't what they ended up doing, but after the bags in there, tape it shut. Let's get out of here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like the emergency exit row. They're like, sir, are you able to hold your thumb on this the whole time? I need a verbal yes. Yeah. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you not watched it? No. It is really good. I've never been a Wild West person. Have you seen it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, I mean, I've not been to the Grand Canyon, but you go to the Smoky Mountains at the right time. I mean, that is people's galore up there, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My uncle, my uncle used to work at a hotel over there and some tourists came in one time and was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When do you turn, when do they turn the smoke on to the mountains? Like it was a machine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I don't know, I mean, my uncle could be lying, I guess, but, uh, he told me that. Turn the smoke on. I know, that's what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll, I'll dig into it and I'll try to get some information. I'll try to get information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, at the Grand Canyon? Yeaah. Yeaah. This is what we were talking about before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They say the Smithsonian does stuff like that, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just wanted to show the opening, but, uh. Well, there's the article. I didn't know if we were going to, I didn't know we were going to UFO Mania here. Yes, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was driving in Chattanooga, nighttime, and I could see all these lights, like clear lights up in the sky. And I was really like, I was like, what is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I realized that it was so dark that you just couldn't see the mountain. And so it's just houses sitting on top of the mountain. Yes. But the, but the mountain was so dark that it looked like floating lights. I mean, it was blowing my mind. And then I was like, oh, it's just, that's just houses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I was like, I was like, thought I was like ready to film it. I've seen that too. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I also would believe wherever they opened it, wherever they opened it, I would believe it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have their mail delivered by foot? By mule. Oh, by mule. Mhm. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean it is huge, but that don't mean a meteor crashed into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, some type of, uh, resource in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you see a shooting star or whatever and it just kind of burns out and it just, you know, it's like, I don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what if this crater used to be just a big pond? That's true. That just dried up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe killed her husband and then in the twenties, it's like, yeah, you kind of just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm gonna have to explain to the gas station when they're like, there's a chain shortage, and I'm gonna go, well there's a guy in Arizona that has a million pennies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I, you know, I give it up to the guy for the work, but it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really see what I mean here with these guns? Geez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just gonna say that cause that's about the only guy I know and I saw him play and he's good. He's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to the Nate-Lan Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, here's a little word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Nate today to get 10% off your first month. That is BetterH-E-L-P dot com slash Nate.


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[Assistant] Also Helix, Helix Sleep, Helix is offering up to $200 off all match orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash Nate with Helix. Better sleep starts now. Hello folks and hey bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm sitting here with, uh, Brian Bates, Dusty Slay and what Aaron thinks he looks like. All right. All right. Now we're cooking. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are, uh, lucky enough, I know you, we, we talked about you a lot on this podcast, uh, with Greg Garcia, uh, created Sprung.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gave Bates, uh, his what I would call ego.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, since that time, it has really blown up. Yeah. He goes, I'm an actor. I don't have to do this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we have to type out all the stuff he says, because he only reads scripts, so everything you hear is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, uh, uh, so, uh, Greg, creator of, uh, the awesome new show sprung on fr-, on Amazon freebie. Uh, I've watched the whole thing. And the nicest guy in hell. And the nicest guy in hell. Which is, I've added to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There needs to be a corner that is also some nice people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Greg's going. So if you, I'm saying if you're there, you might not think you're going to be there. Let's just say, hope you don't see Greg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coming from a big guy like that, uh, that's tough. Uh, so he's done. Yep. And we have Greg now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get him through the thing. I have that one for you. Ooh, the American re, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, this is, oh wow. If you're listening at home, you're probably bored. Uh, Kyle Petty, uh, we have everything. I did have that truck as a kid. This truck is awesome. It doesn't get much better than this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's alright, this is great. Well, there you go. I look forward to meet my daughter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it was very big, you know, it was big where you were at. Oh yeaah, I used to drink it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it is true. They spin it in like, that's the idea of when they have all these cars and you know, like you and all this stuff and you think, well, why do they have it? It's like, they just, that's what they would rather have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, uh, you're, you're, you're, so, eh, the people that don't know, Greg Garcia, you've created a bunch of shows and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Giant My Name is Earl, Raisin' Hope, uh, You Got Sprung Out Now, uh, Guest Book, and uh, Yes Dear, right? All of them. And all awesome shows, and I've watched all of them. But with My Name is Earl, if you started it now,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause you could see, like, with all, yeah, with all your shows, you're like, I mean, this is your, you've been looking for this man for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's dusty. You're talking about you in third person?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think your name would be Earl. Okay, but we said was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something like that. I think it's confusing. Yeah, it definitely is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I grew up in Detroit, I'll do it for free. Just four Nintendo games. And I'm on board. And then he's on board. Uh, so we're excited that you came down. Uh, Aaron is in Naples, uh, uh, this week. I think, you know, this comes out as he's still there off the hook. I don't know if he's still there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go see him tonight. If you're there, go see Aaron tonight. Uh, he's there. So Greg was, uh, and we were excited to have Greg come down because Greg, you, you started this off with, you know, sprung, you got Aaron and, uh, Bates are, they're in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right, well, yeah. Creator of the... Creator, sorry. He's already putting them down. He goes, I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But it was fun. That's probably like a good sign. Cause you know, it's funny, but then it can get frustrated. Oh, it wasn't frustrating at all. It's a good sign, but you could be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a point where you're like, alright dude, we gotta- If it was day 59.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did, uh, does that happen like when you're filming something, like a TV show, if people are laughing that hard or they can't?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, is there, what do you gotta, do you have to just like, let's go to a different scene or is it like, you gotta get it together?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just easier to go buy a parrot for the show than not. Like they say, I like something that crazy. Like it was a dog you're supposed to be talking about and they said, parrot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's just what's gonna happen. That's what's gonna happen. We're, we're parrot people now. Yeah, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. There, like with our show, the pilot I shot, Greg was there, Greg helped us do, he rewrote it, uh, the day he came in. That's when I met Greg, Greg was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I, I like, I mean, obviously I knew who you were, but I didn't like really put it. Danielle was like, uh, our showrunners, Danielle's the best. Yeah. And, uh, she was, and she's like, Oh, my friend Greg's coming. So, but she didn't, I don't get introduced as like, this is this guy and he did this or something. And then he's just sitting there like this and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, very like you would have no idea. Uh, you know, you took an Uber X over to my house today. What is the one thing that I've kind of get off topic that you took back? Didn't you take back some furniture or something one time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not like a store. This is a factory. You're like, I'll be right over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you could do, and someone's like, said that, and you're like, oh that was so funny. And you're like, ah yeaah, I just had that happen. That's a big part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I go, well, why do I even need to bring the wheel? The wheel doesn't work. I'll keep doing it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but it was like, it was fun to like see it cause it was like, that was like that moment where y'all, you would, you're sitting in that camera and as we're shooting it and then you're coming up and you're like, hey, what if you tried this? Say this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it was like, y'all, when y'all at all say that, like, you're like, almost like the jokes, you're like, it doesn't really matter about the jokes, the jokes are gonna be there, we're gonna, and then you're gonna be changing them as it's happening. You gotta get the bones of the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and Multicam, I don't, I, so, I mean, I don't know, I wouldn't have known this, but you know, Multicam was, Yes Dear was Multicam, right? Yes Dear was Multicam, I did


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, yeah, big Family Matters fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like TGIF, like that whole thing. So like was TV back then, like in Hollywood, I mean it was just like, that was the biggest thing in the world, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it all on, was TGIF, was that just, that was AB?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I thought I had something but I forgot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's some of the T, think about that TGIF. Like, why don't you think they do that, like, now? I mean, they still have blocks of wheat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't you DVR and then fast forward or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody in theory doesn't want commercials, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You look at it, you're like, but I also can't buy 50 different things. It can't sustain itself. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's too much. It's, it's, yeah, you got, and you got $1.99. Everything seems like you can afford it. Oh, it sounds cheap. Everything sounds cheap. Well, that's what they're saying. People with cable bills are like, uh, are like, you know, that now with the streamings, he was like, cut the cord. And you're like, well now you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's the thing, is when you pay for NOAA, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have no ads on YouTube and that's been my favorite thing ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, cause you just can pay for it and skip it or you can do whatever and, uh, but if you do, uh, like the freebie like thing, you're like, I don't mind it. Like, but then some of them, when you're paying for it and then they still like sneak them in. Like that was the thing I thought with Hulu was like, I was like, even if you did no ad, I was like, I felt like I still would see an ad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, DirecTV did it with, like, maybe it is the red zone or something where they're, you're like, well you're showing me an ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you, cause there's not a, you want to go, I don't want to see a single ad. But they have to take a break and they have to, this stuff's going to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good. We did, yeah, you, uh, was, uh, you were the reason I did, uh, Family, Drew Holcomb on my last special. Yeah. And it was good. And I, and I've talked to you about this new special I'm taping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it, you're, I don't know if I could ever go back to, the only one I didn't have was the Tennessee kid was like, they make a song that kind of sounds like a song. I thought it was the Lumineers. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, they bait you go like, Oh, I came out to Lumineers and try something like that again. And then they get someone to write it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like kinda play a song that kinda sounds lumineerish. Cause it doesn't matter but it is. It's when you have a real song, it just is very different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I, that's what I like. Let's uh, speaking of we were talking about ads, let's read some ads. That kind of really worked out. You know? This is all the stuff telling you that they shouldn't have ads. I'm like alright, here we add up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our ads are good though. Yeaah. We love our Helix Sleep Mattress, uh, as I would say, unbelievable to unbox, delivered free, very comfortable, uh, the young Greg or C will be on it tonight. I can't wait. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you could feel the tone when you walked in. I sensed it. Yeah, he goes, he's here again. I go, he's never been here. Doesn't matter. Uh, Helix Sleep. Take the Helix Sleep quiz. Personalized mattress is shipped straight to your door, free of charge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A hundred night risk free trial. Helix has been awarded the number one mattress picked by GQ and Wired Magazine. Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows. For our listeners, go to helixsleep.helixsleep.com slash Nate with Helix Better Sleep


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Betterhelp.com slash Nate. Sometimes we get stuck focusing on problems instead of solutions. I like, you do do that, I like that. You do, you get too worked up about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The imaginary scenario, and you're not actually just like, get it solved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can be tough to train your brain to stay in problem solving mode when faced with a challenge in life. This is a way you can get a therapist that can help you become a better problem solver, making it easier to accomplish your goals, no matter how big or small. They can help you talk through things you may not want to share with your family or friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are all talkers and we know the benefits of getting things out. It's a, it really does. It really helps you and it helps, it'll help you be, if you feel like you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Feel crazy sometimes. This is a great way to do it. You can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours and switch therapist any times.


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[Assistant] Uh, when you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash Nate today to get 10% off your first month. That's better h-e-l-p dot com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're still doing it. We're still doing it. Nothing mellow about it. Uh, so, uh, we kinda started off just talking about Greg, so we, we're gonna get to the comments a little bit later. Yeah. Right now, I mean like right now. I made it sound like, I go, God, when are you gonna do it? Right this second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So first up, uh, Holden Af-Affart. I think you said it. Affart. A-P-H.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds like a gamble because it walked from 50 million dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was, I mean, he already was making a, he was already Dave Chappelle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, he was, he was set. But I mean, I get the idea of what he's saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, it definitely is, I would imagine. Yeah, I would imagine. I've done it a couple times. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After a very quick Google, I discovered Adam Sandler makes all his love interest, VV, to keep a continuous pattern in his attempt to create a Sandler verse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you don't, that's, talking about doing stuff and creating stuff, like, after I take this special, I gotta do another hour, and you're like, alright, I have to go, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do, like I said, go take cushions or go, whatever you're going to go, whatever you're going to go do, go do them. You take a wheel back to the luggage store. Enjoy the conversation. Yeah. Take a wheel back to the luggage store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, yea, but then the show just becomes, why does he do this? It's because of this. Next. You know, it's like, you don't want it to be that. But I'm not against, I'm, you know, Bryce, Bryce looked it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was being funny. Very quick. Read it as funny. Alright. I think you may be Bryce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jen Pavlik, Nate has gone on many opinionated rants over the course of more than 100 episodes but I am not quite sure how people can be offended by them. He almost always ends his rant by completely changing his mind and saying the exact opposite.


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[Assistant] No matter what your opinion is on a subject, you should just keep listening. Eventually, we'll back you up. There you go. That's kind of similar. Yeah. That's similar to my, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, it wasn't trying to be apology. I've just meant like.


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[Assistant] It was almost like your emotions I don't want to get. Like if I'm like, well college is, you know, you're like, all right, take it, let's calm it down. Just talk about pizzas. Pizza. Yeah. I'd rather talk about that.


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[Assistant] Uh, BJ Keith. The fact that Nate refers to Vanderbilt football as wee when he talks about them is bad enough, but when he used it, talking about the Nashville, South, soccer's almost at South Carolina.


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[Assistant] So the we with Vanderbilt, but I mean, you're just like talking. So you're, I don't, you know, it's, it would be, it's like we've just accepted that it's we. I say we in a lot of stuff. I say we, if I go on stage, I'm like, oh yeah, we got a big tour. We got a big tour. Like I have a big tour, but that seems weird for me to tell everybody. So I say we.


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[Assistant] I get the idea, but I think it's more people like to make that joke. We, what did you do? And you're like, I'm a fan, man. I paid for a ticket. I'm that money. Go. You're like, I yelled a lot at the game. Yeah. You're like, and do I think I'm literally doing something? No, it's just.


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[Assistant] It's easier than saying Vanderbilt did really good today and then trying not to say we, you just say we. And you know what, Nashville has a soccer club and it's your town.


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[Assistant] So why would you say we are good? We have a very good team this year.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's like your traffic, you could say that to anybody, like our traffic's bad, your traffic, I think it's a lot of people's traffic. And you are, you know, something you're like, okay, well I'm just trying to not have a long conversation with you. That's where a lot of it boils down to.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. First guys, uh, big time dude. I-I-I'm for we when it's your home, like-


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[Assistant] And I would say if someone goes, we, you're not doing anything, you're like, well then we should stop talking.


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[Assistant] Cause I'm just trying to, you know what I'm saying. Like I'm just trying to have a conversation about the Titans or Vanity or Nashville. Like I'm not trying to get into the.


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[Assistant] Uh, that's the, you know, like on Twitter when they correct like the, you know, all that kind of stuff. I get a lot of those. Just a very quick Google search.


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[Assistant] And Vandy's off to a pretty good start, right? Well, we lost against Wake Forest, which hurt. But, uh, yeah, the first two were two and one.


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[Assistant] When, yeaah, when someone's like, I always got it, I never liked that, like LeBron was like a fan of the Cowboys and the Bulls and the Yankees and you're like, alright dude, you have no heartache at, in the 90s he's a fan of these.


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[Assistant] And so like, sometimes you're like, you're just choosing for everything. But it's also, I'm at an age, I don't care.


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[Assistant] I, I, I get that. Yea, when they named you the commander, like the Cleveland Guardians, you're, I bet you lost people, fans, because they're just like, I can't do this. Yea. Yea. Be the Cleveland baseball, yea, the watcher of all team is such a good name. I thought so too.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I was on, I was on board. So great. I was like, why you made, your name is so good that you made every team look, yeah, why are we calling these teams?


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[Assistant] The bears. Yeah. And the tie, like, you're like, we should just be the Tennessee. Everybody should just be like whatever there are. Yeah. And I was like, I really thought let's be adults and change the whole thing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and it's, it feels better like, cause then it's your town.


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[Assistant] Did you know the Boo Weekly, have I ever told the Boo Weekly story on this podcast? Oh, I did. Do you know that story?


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[Assistant] And it's my favorite story I've ever heard, read, or, uh, heard. Uh, Jenny Weiss, I have an urgent question I need to get to Nate and I have surgery on Friday. I can't go under until I know, does he say duct tape or duct tape? I say duct tape, like the animal.


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[Assistant] Yeah, for sure duct tape, yeah. We say duct tape.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he probably too rough for the baby. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing your body said. Yeah. I mean, I didn't know there wasn't a lot of people. What's that movie where he doesn't know that he squeezes the lamp.


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[Assistant] Being too rough for the duck and they're like, well, you're too hard, but I mean, I didn't know.


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[Assistant] How would you touch a duck to be right? It's not a, you know, I think I just chased it. Yeah. Just ran it.


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[Assistant] Uh, Krista Wilson. You can definitely tell Nate doesn't listen to song lyrics by his choice of Cleopatra by the Lumineers as his song at the beginning of his 30 minute Netflix special. It's about an elderly woman who's dying alone because she's so overwhelmed with grief after her father died.


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[Assistant] She refused the proposal of the man she had loved when she was younger. Now when I listen to it, I think about Nate just bobbing his head along to this depressing song. I had no idea.


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[Assistant] She refused the proposal of the man she had loved when she was younger.


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[Assistant] I mean, you know, it's like none of us are going to get over it when your father dies, but it's, it is a, when it's, when they're that, you're elderly. Yeah. And then the guy, neither one of you got married.


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[Assistant] Andy King, rumor has it Hotel California is about an insane asylum. I believe that. Do you?


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah. Check in, but never leave. Oh, that makes sense. Jesse Pope, Hotel California is a metaphor for the music industry in Los Angeles.


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[Assistant] Alright, everybody has their theories. Yeaah. Do they never say what it is?


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[Assistant] Well yeaah, that's a big, like in Hollywood, like that's a disgusting scene. You're like, yeaah, it's going pretty good for you. You're still cashing the checks, aren't you?


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[Assistant] Like yeaah, the real country guys wouldn't say a chance at that cause it's all watered down.


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[Assistant] Isn't there a new show coming out too? Monarch. Monarch. Monarch.


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[Assistant] That's a new one. I just see the commercial, every show is just like, family. High drama. It's like Nashville meets, the thing they say, Nashville meets... Empire. ...succession, an empire. Yeah, that's what they're saying.


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[Assistant] Uh, I hope he does great. I can't wait to watch his show.


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[Assistant] How did you guys not know Hotel California is about doing drugs, mainly LSD. Maybe it's heaven or hell, a trip. You can check in, but never leave. Come on, man. Well, the dead, let me tell you how. You didn't allow me to listen to anything. That's how I let alone take


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[Assistant] Yeah, dad, maybe remember who you're writing a comment to. You were in charge of me. Yeah. And I was never allowed to listen to the Eagles.


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[Assistant] My dad had, I mean, my dad was wild and he's got an amazing story, uh, obviously with all that stuff. But yeah, he says stuff and I'm like, you weren't.


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[Assistant] It's about doing drugs. Maybe it's heaven or hell, a trip. You can check in, but never leave. Come on, man. Yeah. Alright.


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[Assistant] Uh, my dad just had back surgery, so. Oh yea? Yep.


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[Assistant] And the hard part is it's on an open Facebook post. And then he's, he's like, what? He, yeah, he had back surgery, made a walk to the dumpster. We were pretty excited about that. Uh, and that's where he lives now. And.


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, he's doing great. And I'm gonna have him, uh, he can't do anything until January. So, everybody...


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[Assistant] Yeah, don't knock on the dumpster and he's going to open the door. Then you go and do like 30 minutes tonight where he has to stay home. He has to, or he can't go do shows. Uh, and he'll start back up in January.


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[Assistant] Wake and bake now. The Eagles stated that Hotel California is about the materialism of California being sucked into the Hollywood musical entertainment beast system and how the industry is basically like selling your soul for fame metaphorically and it runs people into the ground.