[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You put it in the uterus and it stops the egg, even a fertilized egg, from implanting on the lining of the uterus and therefore turning into a fetus and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure. That is considered, this guy was saying, that's not a contraception, that's a form of abortion. So we should ban that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that, uh, I watched some videos about this idea, what they call the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, it's only when a sperm meets an egg. It's only the Catholics that believe that you shouldn't, if you spill your seed and it's not in a woman, you know, that's a sin basically, right? So that's not a Protestant thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Is that in the bible somewhere? Absolutely. Thou shalt not accept up her butt. Holy crap. That's the commandment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ideal for a lot of these people would be to not have any form of contraception. Uhm, and then that leads to a few things. First of all, abstinence, which they love, right? They love abstinence. They don't want anybody to have sex until they get married and all that kind of stuff. That's a very far-right religious kind of view, is that you shouldn't have sex outside of marriage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] conservative religious, large conservative religious voting base. Uhm, we're definitely, there's like, they did a poll a few years ago, it's like a handful of a percentage, like two or three percent of people think abortions should be limited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It-it does genuinely seem like a woman's place is in the home, all that stuff. You-you'd get on with these lads pretty well. There are some differences. But I reckon if you had Sunday lunch, uh, and Taliban and a bunch of these, uh, Mormon types were sat around, they'd find a lot more in common with each other than differences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, very simple. If anyone ever tells you, what you have to do is get on the ground floor of X and buy it, and you'll be rich! We're all gonna be rich! It's a load of fucking bullshit!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why isn't everybody this rich off the back of it? Because of course it always flows up. Always, always, always. Like the stock market, you're being told, oh, take your spare money and invest it. Who's telling you that? Some guy who's fucking a billionaire sitting there who just wants you to put all your money into these stupid platforms so you can lose it to the people who actually run this shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking just, the only way to make money in this world is betting on the horses. And let me tell you what, I've got a hell of a pit view for 240 at Winchester. Uh, the horse is called Gabby Hayes Handbag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not government interference, it's genuinely, a lot of it is protection for you as a consumer. And if you say, oh I wanna step into an unregulated market, it's the fucking Wild West and you are gonna lose your money. You really are. Cause you lose your money in regulated markets as it is. Now you're taking all the rules away and saying somehow this is better? Bullshit. It's all bullshit man, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who is the famous siege breaker who is armed with a rotisserie chicken, a dressing gown, and a fishing pole?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's another one. If Sips were to become a Zen Master, what question would he pose to his eager disciples?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure it is. According to the podcast, how would sips like to die in space? I actually remember this one. I don't remember this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you want to fly into the sun. Yeah, I think you wanted to be at the bridge of a ship and you wanted to see the enemy fleet and be like, oh my g-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, by the way, just a follow-up to Mikey. Just, uh, this is, this is, this is serendipitous. I studied computer science at one of the UK's top universities. Alright, Mikey, calm down, mate. And everybody I've talked to agrees that NFTs are a bunch of wank. Well done, Mikey. That ties into what we were just talking about. Yeah, Mike, thanks so much. For doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can do next week, uhm, so we'll have one, then we- I come back from Stockholm on the day we normally record, so I won't be able to do one that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do, yeah, it's like, uhm, it's like, it's like you haven't, uh, it's like you've always been recording at home, maybe you have been, and you just didn't tell us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a big, it's a big event with lots of charities. I mean, the guy could have just said, do you have anything around Ukraine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We could help with instead of Dogs for Autism, which we're not that interested in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, like a, a complaint, which now they have to check everything to, to rule it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I have to do everything now. Like, uh, I've had...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had to do some stuff and now I gotta do everything. Basically, uhm, I noticed a couple of months ago that when I go pee, it's slower, you know? You know when you go pee and it's like BAM, like it comes out? Mine still comes out but it's like, it's slowed down a little bit, right? Not being a doctor or anything, I just figured.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's my prostate, much like your shower's prostate, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so listen, I don't know if you guys have ever had any issues like this or, or hopefully you will never have to, but you might have to have some of the stuff that I've had done done and some of the stuff that I have to have done in the future done, but so far I've had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A man's finger in my ass, which was not pleasant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's pretty neat though because it shows you a graph, like it prints out a graph of how, uh, of how like strong your flow is, which is kind of interesting. So mine, mine was weak. So the consultant is like, you know, you probably,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now they want to do a biopsy on my prostate to rule out potential cancer in my prostate, which involves having...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next step is, uh, on top of having to have like, uh, like an enema and like all this other crap relating to them finally, I guess, jamming a needle into my ass to, uhm, to take a biopsy of my prostate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, this is gonna take me out of my gaming garage multiple times, which doesn't sit well with me. And, uhm, I'm not sure, the biopsy, like, I'm not too, like, sure about, you know, like, what happens after, apparently. Like, you can get, you can get infected or whatever, there's a small chance. But, uh, particularly having like a, uh, having like a camera in your dick hole apparently is quite painful for like a couple of days afterwards. You know, it doesn't sound good, yeah. No. So, so lots to look forward to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I-I-I-I feel like, I'm not like overly worried about it because I feel like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is a dickhead, but we also have to thank him for his service as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I thought season three was really, really, really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it was still kind of, kind of gritty. Like I liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, okay. I've been watching the, the crown. I started watching it, uhm, off the back of, uhm, all of the- Of what? Of what? The big funeral and everything. So I thought, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got royal fever, I'm gonna give the crown a go, and uh, it's, it's impressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, it's, it's definitely watchable. I'm not saying it's like my favorite series of all time, but it's interesting enough and it's, uh, it's well put together too. It's, it's pretty impressive actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I've been watching that, and uhm, and that's about it. I don't think I've been watching- Oh yeah, sorry, I have been watching, uh, Married at First Sight, Season 7, uh, UK edition, which has been, uh, as you'd expect, pretty spicy. Pretty, pretty spicy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't been interested to seek out either of those series. I think uhm, I think I'm just like Game of Thrones then Lord of the Rings out at this point. You know what I mean? Like I just want to watch something like maybe a bit different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, maybe it's just like where I'm at, you know, in my mind, but I haven't really been interested enough to watch those. I don't know if I ever will. I don't really care, fuck it, it's just always the same shit, right? Like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Easily. Look, I'll tell you how you do it. You get in the car and you say, God, I love your accent, where are you from? I can't quite place it. Done. Right. Okay. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His accent was pure African. I get this a lot because I have, uh, my, my accent is, uh, is North American. So you get, there's, there's two types of people. There's the people who say, I'm from America.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or there's people that say, oh, your accent, I can't quite place it. Like where about, so you're from North America somewhere like Canada, maybe America or whatever. It's like, it's gentler, right? Like it's, I don't know. You've eased into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I mean it sounds like it was fine, I don't think, think of like your average encounter with anybody, even if somebody offends you in a day, like, you don't come home and really think about it that much, do you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me guess, let me guess. You've been using it a lot on your computer recently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a little mole man, like just, uh, just burrowed in the ground with his little, uh, Apple watch watching all his favorite TV shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For free. Keep it simple. Turn your Netflix into Le Netflix. Whenever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, there is a cat or dog flap that's not, uh, in use anymore that the fox got in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Fox knocked the phone over and accidentally walked on the buttons of the phone that just so happened to call the emergency services.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, this is a- this is- London has had issues with foxes, uhm, being- We have a lot of foxes. Yea, being out and about and also breaking in, cause there's been stories about foxes attacking babies and stuff, you know? Yea, yea. They get in through windows that are left open and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if she got lockjaw from that? You know, that can be, that can be serious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, you need them, because if you rely on a phone that can run out of battery, or that you might not have reception for or whatever, it's safer to have a landline as a backup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we still, we still have ours. To be fair, we don't get spam calls on ours, but we still have ours. Cause like I said, it's... But you've never given anyone those, obviously. No, no, we're not listed either, so it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doesn't even have pets but the cat got through an old cat flap that had somehow


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Malfunctioned or he didn't realize that it was successful or whatever. He was out one night, he came back home, opened up his front door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just the smell of shit just hit him and he's like, what the heck is happening here? He thought he'd been broken into and somebody'd taken a dump in his living room. Uh, but then he saw like the curtains were all fucking, uh, clawed up and there was, there was just like little cat turds all over the place, piss everywhere. Like a cat just got in and just went wild in his apartment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, my, uh, my son is, uh, is, has slept away from home for the first time in his 10 year life, uh, last night and tonight as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's never been an opportunity to send him anywhere, but so yeah, he's on a, uh, he's on a, on a residential.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. Yeah, we haven't heard anything, so I'm assuming he's having a fun time, but I had to pick up a bunch of his friends and drive them all down, and, uh, it's hilarious. Like, their little social system, like him and all of his friends. It's like having Twitch chat, uh, but like a mild version of Twitch chat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In, in the back of your car, like they're, they're, they were making like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jokes about Shrek being gay and like all this stuff and they were laughing their heads off and you-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you don't even get a chance to, to, to butt in with anything, right? Like you just sort of leave them to it. It's pretty funny. Like it's, it's bizarre as well. Like the stuff that they pick up and the stuff that they watch and stuff is just crazy. I don't know. It's pretty funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a bit crazy, but I don't know. I mean, like maybe older kids, I guess, but I don't know, like 10 still pretty small, right? Like they're, like they're still, they're still like little kids. They act like they're bigger, but they're still, they're still pretty little.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, of course, yeaah. They want a little bit more autonomy, but obviously not so much that it's like scary or overwhelming or whatever, you know what I mean? Like you just like, you give them like these little, like little extra freedoms, I guess, and then they just, you know, they feel like they've accomplished something or whatever. I don't know what the psychology is, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's not back. He's on the phone. He's just had a phone from the taxi driver who has suddenly realized a week later how rude flax was to ask him that question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a follow-up. Follow-up. I've been stewing on this one all week, you bastard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, uh, Nigel is kind of a, uh, like an older name, right? Like there would have been, I think like during World War II, you would have heard a lot of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out in the field, out in the, out in the battlefield, you would have heard a lot of Nigels, eh? Get bloody Nigel down here. And you know, it's just like, it's like such an old name, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, imagine naming your daughter Nigella as well, like you're so, you love the name Nigel so much that you, uh, that you, you, you, you use the, uh, the feminine version as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, my only experience with this is like kids in my, in my, in my kids, uh, classes or like, you know, like play groups with a baby or whatever. I gotta tell you, uh, there's no Nigella's and there's no Nigel's either. I'll tell you what name is getting kind of popular, which is an odd one. Atlas for a girl. You ever heard this name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Atlas. Or something. Atlas. Lots of Dexters. Lots of Olivers. Lots of Oscars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I think that must be where Dexter's been recently popularized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lots of Leos as well. Leo is a popular boy's name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My daughter's class, there's about four of them. So they're all like Leo A, Leo B, like whatever they're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is next? Maybe that's what's... Mars. Mars, yea. I don't know if I've met any gods or Marses, but uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Atlas. Atlas has a name, a girl's name. There's a, it seems to be like a, you know, a popular new name. Atlas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were just talking about Nigel and Nigella. Right. Nigel is a name that's dying out. Nigella is a non-starter. I don't think there's ever been many Nigellas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what about Christine? Or Christina?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Morgan? That's a really American name for me. Morgan. For like a girl. A girl named Morgan. I don't know what it is. It's very American, isn't it? Madison. That's a real American girl's name too, right? Madison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think people are naming their kids like Karen anymore, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean that sounds like a League of Legends character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That also sounds like a League of Legends. Maybe people are just naming their kids after League of Legends heroes now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, these aren't like, are these actual popular names though, or are these just examples of ridiculous names that they've found?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta go get prepped up for an enema now, so uhm, wish me luck. Good luck. Thank you so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We will do it the day after. And that's for a mailbag special. I mean, you know, the, the, the, the mailbag provides the prompt. This is a lower tier of... This is a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After following a paper trail across Reddit, I finally found how to do this. Hopefully the email, oh, this email is in regards to Triforce episode 225. You might not remember, but there was mention of sentience and what that means. Okay. For a few minutes at the beginning of the podcast. I do remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't give a shit what the word meant in Latin. People always use that as a, as like a call to authority. Well the Latin word is, right, nobody fucking speaks Latin. And our words may have been derived from Latin in many cases, but that doesn't mean that whatever the original Latin meaning of the word was is what it still means. So what means the ability to think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you know, there has to be some specific term, consciousness, that means something beyond, I am alive, and I am aware of my surroundings. Because that could be a whole ton of, a whole ton of things that exhibit NO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Which means telling someone to be quiet. Which is a term of encouragement. As in go on with it. Is it? Yeah, go on yourself. Which is like, go on your magpollux. That's what they'd say in Ireland. Go on your magpollux.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, or howling with a biting wind. Pick your poison. You've been moving all day, just finished setting up your harbor. Aside from two hour long shifts of sentry duty, your time until stand two next dawn is yours. You've eaten some rations, drunk some cold coffee from your flask, you've freshened up with a wet wipe, shaved out your mess tin, shaved out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then rustle around your equipment so you can do your business. Observe the wadge of wet toilet paper clogging up the sink and shutter. Kick the flushing handle with your boot. Set about the awkward task of zipping up your fly beneath your webbing and long windproof smock. Compose yourself and enjoy the fleeting moment of peaceful solitude before heading back out into the elements to platoon and your duties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You decide on the latter and stalk off to your bachelor in search of hand sanitizer. Haribo! And you're sleeping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They- I did, but I thought that was an interesting one. I did think that was interesting. It was poetic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also it was new information that was actually kind of entertaining, not just the sordid details of a physics experiment. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, for context, I am not 83, alright, nor am I 50, I'm 46, so the 70s I was 4 years old. We didn't say that skill was an African mum disease until I got to the UK, so I would have been 8, this was the 80s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I looked it up, and you can find lots of references in Google saying that school children used to say that skill, which was like, skill! That was a way of saying something was cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey Perian, I listen to the podcast quite loudly every day when I'm driving my van, delivering heaps of wooden stuff and bags of concrete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I paused it when I got to an airbase near Peterborough for a delivery. When I met the bloke who was accepting the delivery, I noticed he had a prosthetic leg. Out of interest, I asked him how it affects his day to day life. He went on to say it was weird at first, but embraced it after a few months and we chatted for a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After delivery, I got back in my van, the Bluetooth connected to my phone and auto-played Spotify. At which point, Sips' voice definitely said, State of the art peg leg! Followed by, followed by Lewis' banshee laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Uh, and, uh, they're listing, this is about, um, a journal of pooping. Okay. Um, there is an app called Poopmap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which will tell you every toilet. Uhm, and uh, the app features geo-tracking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Timestamping, a five-star review system, image hosting, achievements and statistics with a New Year's review, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Every single one. It's still one of the least catered to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's what they should have done. They should have looked how many people on their train trip need to use the toilet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, just, it's gonna be a lot. Just stick 5p on every ticket and that money goes funneled straight to the, uh, the, the toilet company. Whoever manages the toilets. Have fucking toilets. What is going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's a good idea. And you know what? I saw one time that had a dry cleaner attached to it. So there's a dry cleaner there and the toilets are off to the side. So you come to use the toilet and you can pick up your dry cleaning at the same time. So I was just like, this is a good idea. This is a genuinely good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if you kill a reindeer, there might not be another one around for a bit. You better make sure. I'm sure there's plenty of fucking nutrition and blood. I mean, there's gotta be, right? Vampires live forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, in France they eat horses as well. I'm not into that. I'm not into that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean there are things that don't change weight, like a water, one metre on a square of water is one metric tonne, right? Like a cubic, one cubic metre. Yes, you're right. So that is one tonne.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's always gonna weigh the same. I mean, presumably you're using pure water, and you seal it in something, you deduct, I guess, the weight of whatever you're containing it in, and then you've got a guaranteed metric ton, and you can derive everything from there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then these are some examples of questions that some journalist asked it to see what it's fucking take would be on these. What's the world record for walking across the English Channel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it doesn't even know how stupid it sounds. That's the point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the guy in the article said the AI is not just clueless but cluelessly clueless. And the people who interact with it don't prove it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine the first time he saw, like, the Grand Canyon, or just these huge fields. I mean, even just, I guess, because they would have been coming from Russia, uh, the very far east of what we now call Russia, uhm, and, and that, that sort of East Asia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that means that the early people had not domesticated horses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assume so, but I will say that I'm assuming that because in Sid Meier's game, colonization, the only way the native tribes get horses is if you trade them to them. So I'm assuming Sid Meier did his research.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that's, so they didn't have cows. I mean like Africa for example didn't have horses, didn't have cows, didn't have pigs, didn't have sheep. Well they had zebras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By about 15,000 years ago, Equus ferris was a widespread species. Horse bones from this time period, the late Pleistocene, are found in Europe, Eurasia, Beringia, and North America. Yet between 10,000 and 7,600 years ago, the horse became extinct in North America and rare elsewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another theory points to climate change, known that approximately 12 and a half thousand years ago, the grass characteristic of a steppe ecosystem gave way to shrub tundra, which was covered in unpalatable plants. So they might have starved, they might have been hunted to death, so they survived.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is about whether it gets hot underground, which is something we spoke about previously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they spent many hours down there watching the yogs while waiting for an opportunity to get in everyone's way. Uh, it's not a bad little hideaway, though the dust has popped two graphics cards, you can't stand up straight inside it, and the last time it was moved, it was dropped on its roof with all the equipment still inside. That's his, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's, here's something, uhm, the temperature increases by one degree for every 70 feet deeper we go, according to this, uh, graph I found on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I shall reveal why. In 2015, I started working at a small development agency based in Bournemouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, absolutely. I mean, I can't, I just, if I took the time to think, there are some coincidences. I know here's, here's a very simple one. My, my, uh, eldest daughter and I, this was years ago. I'm sure, I think I told this before on this podcast. We had, she got a little toy boomerang. It was like a plastic boomerang. We went to, uh, the, the green nearby. We threw it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a few times it came back and we, you know, you pick it up off the ground. One time we threw it and a little gust of wind caught it and blew it into a tree. And we were like, oh, there's no way of getting it back. It's way up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like two weeks later, we're back at the green again, we're sitting around, we're sitting on a bench. I had completely forgotten which tree the thing had gone into. As we're sitting at the bench, gentle gust of breeze and the boomerang falls out of the tree and flies and lands at our feet. Like the tree was giving it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is from a Dutch dentist called Arjan. I'm not going to do the accent this time because I have respect for his profession.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we were talking about cavities and the possible effects genetics have. This is the dentist's two cents. There are a lot of misconceptions about this topic. Now bear in mind the source for this is a dentist. To be super clear about this subject, cavities are 100% preventable and caused by the behavior of the person who gets them or their parents if it's their kids. It's a behavioral disease.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've just gone full Karen mode here with his special blend of herbal tea and his thick frame glasses and his hot takes on local politics and stuff as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were patient zero though. Yeah, you're the first person I knew to have it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to California for my advanced leper treatment, uh, sesh. It's going to last a couple of days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, like, uh, you get some, like, leprosy implants into your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What star sign are you, Lewis? He's gotta be a, uh, wait, Sagittarius. Uh, Leo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but I'm gonna get on the horn to mission control ASAP, just to make sure that all my T's are dotted and my I's are crossed and whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. It's so vague in general that it can apply to anyone and everyone, right? You can convince yourself that it applies directly to you. It's like tarot card readings and stuff like that as well, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, especially if you didn't have an acorn or a house or a driveway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's just like, it's just like magicians, you know, just, uh, just, just magicians trying to, it's like a, it's like David Blaine, you know, like the levitating trick, but it was really just like the angle that you looked at him from. And as you know, he lifted his other foot and it looked like he was levitating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess like, once you've done the magic though, where do you go from there? You know, you gotta, it's, it's showmanship. You gotta one up yourself all the time. You can't just do the same goddamn routine like over and over and over and over again. People get bored of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to one in Vegas, I think, a mentalist, uh, show. I think you were there, Lewis. Me, you, and whoever we were with at the time. I'm sure it was one year we went to BlizzCon, we went to Vegas after, and we went to one of those shows, and it was, uh, it was okay. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but they, they probably worked in a casino and stuff, you know, like I think a lot of magicians, there's like a, not like a set path, but there's definitely, you know, like places that they can work where they can hone their craft. They can work at a casino and practice their dexterity and agility.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 12 hours a day or whatever, you know, like you need the, you got, you need the time investment and stuff too. Like I think that's like one, just one, one example of a place where a aspiring magician could work leading up to them becoming a full-time paid magician, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I cannot for one minute believe that. There's no way magicians came up with that, right? Like that had to have just been a natural sort of like, it makes sense for us to blend in with our surroundings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they also want a stage from the moon. They're gonna, they're building a space station to orbit the moon. Uh, and that's where they will go to first before they go to Mars to refuel and get their stuff ready and whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I think, I think even if they can't make fuel in space, they can, uh, they can certainly, like, uhm, they can do unmanned missions to just deliver resources, right? To a staging point around the moon, or whatever, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the frequency at which they're launching rockets into space now from Earth and carrying, you know, all sorts of stuff means that they could probably just, you know, almost get like a convoy going, you know, like leading up to whatever the mission is, they could, you know, they could just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of it seems to be, uh, uhm, sort of like, uh, spearhead pioneered by, uh, a madman, uh, who bought a social network. So I, I don't, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the entire time you're watching it, you just can't help but, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, uh, kinda, kinda bad for the fact that, you know, one of the guys who wrote it is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just keep them to yourself like everyone else does. Like why, why, why do you have to make something that everybody likes and then turn out to be a massive fucking knob because you can't shut up for two seconds? You know what I mean? Like it's a real shame, but uh, the show is still amazing. It's so fucking funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if they stink or do you think they're just like, are just a bit like, like leathery smelling, like all the bacteria is probably gone now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a shame, that game had a lot going for it, but, I dunno, I think they just focused on some of the dumbest aspects of the game, rather than just making the bits that were fun good. I think they had a server reset or something recently, and people were...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a little bit of resurgence, people wanted to play it again, but, uh, it quickly just, everybody left it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. But it never happened. Eminem has been, uh, he's been, uh, inducted into the, uh, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it doesn't have to necessarily be rock and roll, it's just the name of the association.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, because it would then, it would just be like, you know, I think this way, like it's an old name, but it still applies. And I think it's just based on like record sales, uh, popularity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well I'm talking about the kernel that most people will be familiar with, which is a military kernel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not for me, I'm sorry. You know, what is? Well, think of all the actual colonels out there who have had to earn their rank, like, from being in the military and stuff, and then this guy just comes along, he's like, hey, try my chicken, and becomes a colonel. No thanks. Like, uh, that's not how it works. That sounds like a free pass to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then it also has kill all wipers and they've removed their rear windshield wiper for some reason, which I don't think is a good idea. I think that's actually technically illegal. Um, I think you need a rear windscreen wiper. Um, and then they, uh, apparently also had a sticker that said four doors for more whores. That's for fake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would you drive around in such a vehicle? Uhm, and it's got a spoiler, of course. It's got a fucking spoiler. Because, uh, your Ford fucking Focus here, whatever the fuck, looks like a Ford Focus, is definitely gonna benefit from a spoiler. Congratulations, idiot. Uh, so thank you, Faye, for sending that in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You tend to see people, the bumper stickers you have over here is, you see that little fish symbol that Christians have to put on their car otherwise they get rounded up. That's the law these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you also have their football team. There'll be a sticker like Wolves or Man City or whatever. There'll be a sticker in the back of the car. There used to be a Bournemouth sticker in a car around here. It always gave me cheer when I saw it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's your road tax, isn't it? Not insurance? I don't know, maybe it's different in Jersey. We have to have road tax.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the people who like them and the people who put them out there, especially people putting their political views,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you just have to turn on the AC and wait in the car until the steering wheel, like, I was pouring water when we went to, uhm, Six Flags. The steering wheel was so hot, I was pouring water on it to cool it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this is from, uh, someone, I'm gonna call them D.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and they call, they say, Python, I hope your day is going well. I was wondering what is your most drunk experience from each of you? I was trying to think what is the most drunk I've ever been and I've remembered it. I have remembered it, but uh, it's not, it's nothing impressive happened really. This was at TI.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was TI6, and after TI6, uh, since 2016, uh, one of the other guys that I know on the Dota scene was staying in this Airbnb that came with this rooftop garden. And big enough, like, as large as a full-size bar, this rooftop area was huge. Had heaters, had seats and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one of the other guys that was into Dota at the time, uh, was very rich and he bought all this booze, like thousands of dollars worth of booze. They put it on the table and there was like a little kitchen room at the top of this, um, rooftop area and it was just, it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Huge bottles of whatever spirit you wanted, loads of mixers, all the rest of it. So we finish at the after party, it wraps up at fucking midnight or something lame like that, the after parties always do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I got so drunk that one of the things I'd said, I think I said it on Twitter or maybe in one of my PFLAX in the morning vlogs, that one of my dreams was to become famous enough that a woman would ask me to sign her bazongas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there was at the other school, over the, she was at Bournemouth School for Girls, we had drama class together, she had enormous boobs, and I really fancied her. Not just because of the boobs, but she also had enormous boobs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she told me that she met a comedian, uhm, and she was a big fan of the comedian and got him to sign her boobs. And he did it. And I thought that is the most rock and roll thing ever. I really want to sign a girl's boobs. So I'm at the after party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the girl comes up to me and says, Perian. Sorry, no, a guy comes up to me and says, Perian, I heard you wanted to sign some boobs. I was like, where did you hear that? He goes, oh, I heard your vlog. He goes, my girlfriend is right here. Sign her boobs. And I was like, do you have a pen? And he was like, yes. And the only pen he had was a biro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And his girlfriend was right there, and she like pulled her top down a bit for me to sign on to the top of her boob. And I was, I can't do it guys. I'm sorry, I can't do it. It's gonna hurt if I push hard enough with the biro, it's gonna hurt. And he was like, no, do it dude, do it. And he was so drunk, he was sweating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we get back to the hotel, I'm riding up in the lift, and when the lift door's open, I get off with a couple of my buddies, and I just stood there for a second, I realized...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had lost the ability to stand or walk and I just very slowly crumpled to the ground and just lay there right outside the elevator doors and there were a bunch of other people in the elevator that we did not know who had clearly just arrived on their flight


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they just sort of left me in there and as soon as they let go of me, I just collapsed to the floor and they were like, are you going to be okay? I was like, yeah. And then I just woke up on the floor the next morning. It was pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I'll be honest with you, I loved it from the outset. There was no period where I was like, I don't really like this, but I'll plough through. I think it was cause I was poor. And anytime you get the chance to get fucked up and you're poor, you take it. Honestly, you're like, man, I can't afford more than two cans. If someone's going to give me more cans, I am drinking this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I suppose actually we've been doing this podcast a lot, but I think I've only hung out with sips maybe two or three times ever in real life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, to me, it's very hipstery because it always used to be in old cartoons. Yes. When they were in a sort of beatnik place, it was always the snapping the fingers to show appreciation. I just thought it was funny. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sips, we got one that I think is pretty much right up your fucking butthole. Nice, nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I won't give the usual tri-preamble, well you just did, Adam. Alright. Numerous episodes of Triforce, Sips has mentioned about the London shitpipe underneath the River Thames.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a civil engineer and when I first joined the company I'm currently working for, I was working on the initial stages of this product back in 2015.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, but listen to this, okay, just in addition to what Lewis just said, it's perfectly accurate. I've attached a couple of pictures, blah blah blah. It's an awesome project to work on and I like the fact that every now and then Sips talks about it as it helps raise awareness of these projects and might encourage more people to take up a career in civil engineering, which we definitely need in this country. I leave you with the knowledge that in the engineering industry,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, was it July or something when it opened? Either way, I went on it and I think I did a pub crawl where we went all over it and I told you guys about it. It really is, it really is a beautiful line. And I know it seems silly to get excited about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, but sometimes you'd get patches on magazines. In a magazine. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is an unexpected encounter with some gentleman at the gym.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy was working out, had his usual time listening to the latest Triforce at the gym. Screen was open and beside me, with the Triforce cover image visible on the screen. After I completed my set, two massive men, who seemed to be in their 50s, walked up to me and said something that seemed like an insult, but I wasn't too sure as I had my headphones in. I proceeded to remove them and heard one of them say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they'd only get notes from other Triforce listeners. I don't know, I mean, you know, if you're a Triforce fan, you wanna hook up only with other Triforce fans, put it in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Many of the internet men out there, you know, gaping vaginas is certainly a thing that they think is a real thing if a woman has been promiscuous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can even just make sure that the first four letters in your bio of the first five lines, the first letters of all those lines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My final project was a little thing, it was a sort of a message board, where you could post pictures and updates of what you were up to, you could connect with other friends. Never really took off, sold it to a guy called Mark, I hope he did alright with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I frequent the comments sometimes to see what the keyboard warriors are typing. I can say wholeheartedly that 99% of AI, or at least AGI, which is artificial general intelligence, is philosophy at this point, especially regarding what consciousness is, so there's rarely any wrong answers. Thank you Gordon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Appreciate that. Appreciate you saying that. Appreciate you. Keep it up. Thanks, Gordon. Here's one. This is in response to something that we spoke about, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Few episodes ago actually. I am Thomas from Germany and I love listening to your ramblings while doing mindless tasks on the computer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As the topic came up again as a recent mailbag episode, I remembered that Lewis, being Lewis, left out some details in his recounting of the documentary. This is the one about the doctor, the fertility doctor. The doctor had rheumatoid arthritis, which excluded him from being a sperm donor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did not just lie about the sperm being from anonymous doctors and other people from the nearby hospital. He also replaced sperm samples from the husbands and partners with his own before impregnating the unsuspecting women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so that sort of thing is obviously, I remember us talking about it now and saying that essentially, it's almost like, it's almost like uhm, would you want to be told something that is going to completely change your opinion about everyone you know and your life and all the rest of it? What good can come of that? Is it essentially if you had never told these people?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that in a way, letting it consume your life is accepting that this has ruined your life? And furthering that ruination by becoming so focused on it, and then telling everyone else about it as well?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's move on, let's move on. I think it's a good point. It bothers me. Here's another, here's a completely different one. Okay, this is completely different. Sips, this is gonna, this is specific to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I was listening to the recent Mailbag episode, heard Sips talk about how driving in Jersey is absolute hell. Interestingly enough, despite having never been to Jersey, or even know anyone from Jersey, I know this to be a fact. And the reason they know it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I've come to be able to identify it for its particularly narrow winding streets. Yeah. If it kind of looks like a mix between the UK and France,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the, what's the best season to come to Jersey, would you say, spring?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's a, here's another email then. This is from Teodor. Uh, hello Ted, Chris and Lewis. Quite, I'm not sure how I feel about that, but uh, my name is Teodor and I live in Sweden. In episode 228, you guys talked about how different less known, lesser known TV shows and movies are in the Anglosphere, but are very popular in other countries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Consists of different short films featuring different Disney characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The program first aired in Sweden in 1960 starts at 3pm every year on Christmas Eve. Every Swedish person has seen or at least knows about this program.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a great movie, don't get me wrong, but that conversation is very tedious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said before, it's a conversation and a debate, if you like, that people have at a pub with people they don't really know. Work colleagues, stuff like that. Someone's like, like drinking games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He actually needs drinking games if you're with friends. You only need them if you're with people you don't really like or, or know. That's the only reason you'd need that. And it's the same with this kind of fucking debate. Anyway, carry on Chris, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would like to know if the Star Wars Christmas special is the Christmas special in any country in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't have a show, but it would specifically need to be a show made by a foreign country that we have adopted as a Christmas ritual and we cannot think of anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Happy Christmas. We're away this week, but here is a special bonus episode we recorded quite a while ago now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so please enjoy. We record it just in case there will be a gap in the schedule. And there is one now because, because I think Sips had a plumber or something come around and we didn't record. I think Jiggle Jam was on as well. But anyway, please enjoy this bonus episode. Thank you. Happy Christmas. Goodbye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome. Thank you, by the way, to anyone who has supported us on the Patreon, on the Spotify. This is a bonus Triforce episode. If you're listening to it some other way, then goodness, well, good for you. Scum! No!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They may have pirated it if you have. I'm just gonna nod in your direction knowingly and like give you a thumbs up. Oh my heavens. Anyway, for my own reference, this is the day where I woke up and managed to stand on a shard of glass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dropped one of those salt and pepper shaker things yesterday and I thought I'd clean up all the bits of glass and I was rushing to leave and of course I felt this sort of pain in my foot and I was like, what the fuck have I stepped on? You know, lifted my foot and of course I was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't tell everyone anyway. They'll, yeah, it's like your GPS coordinates, right? Um, so, I had an idea for this bonus podcast episode, so we want to do the normal sort of shit. We thought we'd do something a bit weird and different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you're training him to play Tetris, that's so fucking useful. True, true, yeaah. I've been playing lots of ball games lately with various people, and there's two of them that I played that I really liked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're basically Tetris. Uh, the one that was like building a city, it was like a, it's called My City. It's like a legacy game where you have to sort of build a city very slowly and it's Tetris.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just was so good at it, I won every fucking game. It's called Tetris. It's called My City. My City. It's like a Fisher Price legacy game, so you sit down with your family, and you play it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it is a cool game to play with your face. You should try it out. Your kids would love it. Uh, my city. I recommend it. It's really good. And, um, also I played this game that Tom recommended, which is on, uh, on Steam called Railroad Inc. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Railroad ink. It's ink with INK. Of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it looks, it does look like that. So basically you end up building this little city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it is, it is adorable and cute. It's still got very many reviews. Um, and it will have no, I mean, this is only listened to by bonus members. So the, the five people who hear this podcast, please go and support Railroad Inc. There you go. That's good recommendation. So today,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the title of the podcast, I'm assuming, which people will already know what's coming, but you guys don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, I wanted to decide amongst ourselves, once and for all, what the best Minecraft block is. Okay? It's something that's been plaguing me for a long time. Uh, it's something I think about a lot. Yeah. So what we're gonna do is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is why you're good though, this is why you're good to have, because we've got one person who has played Minecraft for years, uh, one person who still plays Minecraft regularly and extensively, also your kids play Minecraft, Sips, I know this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know how people, um, do these sort of tier lists and rate blocks. We're not going to do any of that. We're just going to go through the block list to discuss which ones we think are the best and put them together in a knockout style tournament and quickly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Figure out which is the best, okay? In a very objective way. Okay. Like a tennis tournament.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, they don't care. We can do Dota Heroes next time. How about we do Dota Heroes next time? I'll put that down on the list. That's definitely a bonus, because people might hate it, and some people might love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But anyone who listens to Stryforce will not give a shit because they just like to hear in us argue, um, you know, like some sort of weird, traumatized child listening to their parents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So start, so start with, actually, do you know what, if you just want to hit me Pflux or Sips with your early choices in, uhm, in blocks. Okay. And we'll start with those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An iron block, sorry, not iron ore, not, not, not, yeah, literally an-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's really interesting. I mean, I don't care about the ore blocks. Honestly, coal ore doesn't... I mean, you see it even on the surface, doesn't bother me. Gold ore disappoints me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I do like the cold coming out. I do like the cold coming out, actually. So I'd say that was fine. The gold, I just know the gold is worthless. Lapis, again, worthless, I might as well throw it away. And redstone ore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, alright, so P-Flex has made a note of bedrock. We can do that now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so let's do that. Bedrock, yes, it's block ID, I think like 20-something is one of the early blocks. And it's, yeah, classically unbreakable, that's the idea. Why do you think this is an important block in Minecraft, Pflash?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. I suppose it's quite an early, or it used to be quite an early noob level achievement, uh, though, y'know. And also a frustrating one. Y'know, cause a lot of times when they first fly bedroom you don't know it's bedroom cause it's not got great


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about that? I didn't know that. There you go. It is a POG OG block as well. So Bedrock is block ID 7, which is pretty OG. Lava and flowing lava are 10 and 11, so they are very OG. But we'll start actually, I wanted to start


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, zone is one, and at least I think so. I've got the bedrock ID data values and I think they're the same as the OG data values. I could be wrong. I honestly think that Minecraft's been so


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what resource I'm using with this, but I'm pretty sure it's one is stone. And it's, it's, it's basically what, what was originally the world was made up of, right? It's the, it's the basis for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Minecraft, building, building the world, and it's what everything has been put on. Stone. You know, I guess it's, it's, it's primordial Earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, well cobblestone is man-made, PFLAX, um, it's this thing where you have to actually, cobblestone is block ID 4. You gotta mine the stone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's a broken piece of stone. You can never, you can never make that stone, well, unless you use a furnace, uh, get that, you can never get that stone back. Yeah. And it's quite a lot of effort to get that stone back. It's kind of pure. It's untainted. You know, it's, it's nature. Right. It, you know, cobblestone is, is civilization coming and ruining the beauty of nature. But stone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No I didn't, maybe I have bleeding a little bit. Too much, yeah. But is it, is this, are we missing, are people gonna be angry that Stone isn't going into the nominations? I don't think so, I think- Is it too boring? You end up getting tons of it and it's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying it's forgettable. Yeah, you might overlook it. You know, is that part of its beauty though as well, its value, you know, that it's like- Not really. It's just there. Yeah. Yeah, you forget it. It's just, it's like, it's like a digestive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No you're right, it's pointless, there's too much of it, it's annoying, it's not fun. No. Yeah, you're looking, you're getting part, it's boring, it's like trash. Yeah. You're just digging through it to get to the good stuff. Exactly. That sweet sweet iron ore block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, PFLAX, have you got a feeling on that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think stoned should be in the final?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are related, yeaah, so sand obviously, there is a different kind of sand, there's red sand, and also, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also there's gravel, which is related, but I think we're just gonna skip that as well, because god, I don't think anyone likes gravel. No, I never found any gravel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, okay, we'll talk about those in a second, but before we get distracted too far away from that, let's just stick to stone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that yea or nay? Cobblestone yea or nay? That's a nay for me, but. I'll go with Sips' opinion on this. Okay. Well, we'll scratch it then in that case. Um, and we'll move on to, like you said, uh, the glass, which is, is, is block 20. Uh, was added after sponge, I think. Oh, so I forgot about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's Sponge actually? Sponge is pretty cool too. Sponge was an OG addition, but then it got sort of re-added later on, I think. You know, it was one of these things that was, was more, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More, more, it was rejuvenated, wasn't it, in later patches and changed. It was kind of, I don't think, I don't think it was in the game, I think it was in the game, but I don't think you could, I don't think it was spawning naturally, I don't think you could make it, it was one of those things that was in the menu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You couldn't use for a long time. Uhm, and I think sponge is too weird to add to this list because I don't think any of us have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. But is it one of your favourites? I would say no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any block. There's like hundreds, but any of them are up for, for being the best block. Yeah. Um, any, anything you can place down that's block shaped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not going to allow certain things, but we are going to allow other things and we'll get to those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's just entirely a stylish blog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that, I suppose, but how, but they also can't sport on half slabs, can they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh I see. It's just taking a half block. Yeah, it floats, yeah. It'll look bad. Yeah. I see. So glass is the kind of... Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you saying that Glass is the cool man's base defence?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if, I don't know if really stylish and base-building but useful sometimes is enough. No? I don't know if it's enough to bring through. What do you think Pflac? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's my plan, brother. Okay, so, next up, we have the, the, the brothers, the highly recommended classic brothers of dirt, uh, Blochadithri and Gras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how iconic it is, yeaah, and as a result I think that this is a very strong


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, you can't create it. Well, you can. So dirt obviously is what the world is made of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say it's probably mainly rock, actually. I mean, obviously underground, yeah, it's mainly rock, but there's a lot of dirt making up the top upper levels, that's what you see. The upper crust.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is Earth made up of? Structure of Earth, an outer silicate, uh, crust. Oh my God. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rock there is versus like liquid core, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, so, so what's, so, what's going in, sorry, what the fuck are we talking about now? Grass. Grass is going in. Dirt is not. It's definitely going in. Dirt is not. Um, sure. We've done bedrock


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, let's briefly go through, uh, block six, which is sapling, and block eleven, sorry, seventeen, which is log, and eighteen is leaves. Now, obviously, trees, almost as iconic as the grass block. Minecraft trees are classic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what's the first thing everyone does in Minecraft is they punch a log.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they punch a log. I'm just saying that would Minecraft be Minecraft without, uh, the humble block 17. Okay, put it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, okay, fine, I'll put that, we'll put that on the extras just for now in case we feel like- No, no, just put it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then what we'll do is we'll just work our way down the list and you stop me if you think one of these is important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got block 23 dispenser. Nah. Block 24 sandstone. God no. Block 24 noteblock. Oh, for fuck's sake. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You aren't attached to bed. It's my favorite. Some people's favorite block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people, I'm sure, have a soft spot for it. Oh right, so you don't actually know, you're just guessing. Did you see what I say, did their soft spot? Fuck me, you're just a comedy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well, I mean, that's just the way to be, I guess. Do you want to add pistons, or sticky pistons, in? Are they an option, do you think? No, I wouldn't say so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other thing we've missed out is water. Obviously we've got lava already in, number three, P-Flex recommended lava. But water, or flowing water, are they options? Do we get better or worse than lava?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, okay, we're starting to run out of space, but that's fine. Uh, wool, uh, there's all sorts of colours of wool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, I guess like, does that make it better or worse though? If you're trying to find the best block in Minecraft, you just have to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, now we've got a few basic...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] World Flavour Blocks, and if we're not gonna add those, I don't feel like the newer ones are as important. Red Flower and Yellow Flower, Dandelion. Fuck those! And, I guess, Rose. Uh, Brown Mushroom and Red Mushroom? No, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, no, that's fine. Uh, block 45, brick. Uh, brick block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a cool block. That's not really, though. Like, how often have you used that brick? Yeah, she is. It's just kinda shit. It never looks good when I build with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's just really expensive as well. It feels to be. You have to make it out of clay. We haven't put clay on yet, but I don't think clay is a good one. Does anyone like clay? Any clay lovers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, clay's out. Uhm, block 46, this is an important one, now this was my personal recommend. Right. Uhm, so this is going in. Diamonds. This is, well, unless you two veto it, it's TNT, block 46. Oh yeah, that's a, you gotta have TNT in there. That's a must.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost like grass, you know, how do you, how do you live without a TNT block in your Minecraft? Yeah, true, true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do. I like bookshelf. I think it's a, I think it's a nice looking block. It's practical. Um, looks, honestly, whenever you put a bookshelf down at Minecraft, it looks great. It just adds a bit of class to the room. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, well, okay, that might go on the list. Uh, then we got Mossy Cobblestone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now we have an exciting one, actually. Block 49. Again, overlooked, but exciting. Obsidian. Oh, now we're talkin'.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, okay, fine, no, I'll keep at it. Uhm, so we're actually, we're actually above the limit currently, but... Alright, take glass and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, that's true. Uhm, alright, so then we have, uh, 50, what 50 is? Torch. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who can forget Torch? You can't forget about Torch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's a torch, you know, they are, it's pretty iconic, honestly as well. It's a very integral part of Minecraft gameplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we don't want to get too many angry comments when we choose a block and people are like, oh, fucking hell, they chose...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But no, I think Torch, it possibly is too forgettable. It's there, it's doing its job, but it's quite abundant. No one's ever happy to see a Torch, you know? No one ever thinks, oh, a Torch. Whereas sometimes you see a bookshelf, you're like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously you can set certain blocks on fire. Yeah. Such as netherrack. Is it netherrack? Yes. So, you know, we could, we could go, we could mention netherrack now as well, because that's important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah, fire is a block, you obviously can't place it, you have to create it with the flint and steel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's naturally occurring obviously around lava and certain other things. And obviously it can often ruin your house, uhm, or building, or it's, it's, it's like a, it's like the OG Creeper. Before Creepers were in the game, fire was the thing that fucked you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, not so much nowadays, I don't think it's so devastating, but I remember back in the day there was this classic video of this guy sadly watching as his house burned down unable to do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I meant in Minecraft, not IRL. Oh, right. Um, but there are a few videos of that, definitely, of people actually burning their houses down. Yeah. Um, it can happen. It can happen, yeah. Don't light things on fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't do it with fire. Don't find out about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't fuck around and find out. No, I don't think we should add fire. That wouldn't work, so let's just not put that one in. Block 52 Spawner. Mob Spawner. Everyone's seen one of them. It's a shit block, honestly. I fucking hate spawns. I think they are just a really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bad idea. Do you know what I mean? They pulled you out of the game, totally, to have this thing that creates more monsters around it. It's like, why is this thing so lazy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but it's just, it just strikes me as such a lazy implementation. It's actually called Spawner. They could, they could be called like, I dunno, it could just be like a bone pile or something. Do you know what I mean? Like, it could be like, they could have, or a zombie, you know, a zombie pile, or anything. A pile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Spawner, it just seems so meta and lazy. I don't like it. I think it's a poor block. If we were doing worst blocks in Minecraft, I'd say Spawner would be up there for that. It is kind of depressing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're, we're not being held back by any, any brand sponsorships or anything. You know, we're not, we have no vested interest. No. We are just doing this for you bonus and Patreon members. Out of the kindness of our hearts. Because we wanted to do extra podcasts and we thought it'd be fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the humble Minecraft chest, block 54. Oh, yeah. God, who could forget that bad boy? How do you feel about that, P-Flex? The humble chest. Sure. Great sound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They make a nice creaky sound, they've got nice animation, nice closing sound, people can interact, multiple people interact with chess, it's all very smooth. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything is a block. And a block. It's a block. A block is anything that's, uh, cubic, usually, can be placed on a tile. But everything in Minecraft is cubic. Yeah. Not quite though, not like a pickaxe, that is not a block. Oh, that's true, that's not really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas carrots growing in the world are, but carrots in your hand aren't. You see what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well first of all- Are they just thrown to one side? Well first of all I'd like to say that the Minecraft world is obviously cubic, whereas ours is a sphere, and therefore ours are not perfect cubes, they are slightly, slightly effective.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, if you throw it on the floor, it's two dimensional spinning, right? But if you plant it in the ground, it becomes a different block, it becomes planted carrots, right? If you're holding a block in your hand,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is like a gold block. It is two-dimensional spinning. It's just, it's just not there anymore. It's been removed into the Steve, the 2D Steve world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, and actually I would almost go so far to say that I wouldn't like the winner of the Minecraft best block to be something which is not cubic. Right. Okay, yeah. So I would like to actually nominate to remove Rails from the list of options, because I feel like they're not really fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they're not a block in the sense that they are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cubic. And that will prune a lot of shit off the list as well, by the way, like ladders and signs and crap that I just don't, and wheat. I don't think a lot of stuff. And levers. Do you know what I mean? I think we could do without talking about all those things as well. Is that okay? Can I put that up for vote, Sips? Yeah, I'm fine with that. Yeah. Okay. You're fine with that? Pflac, you okay with that as well?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it will, however, I will bring a couple now of block-like things that you might feel need to stay. Anvil, uhm, obviously not a block, but still a large object that can be placed in the world. How do you feel about that? CXP, Flax, Anvil, is that gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Useful. Also, brewing stand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of those little villager job things. Probably one of the worst blocks again, I think. Lector. Looks like shit. Yeah. Um, is, yeah, if we had a nomination for that it would be awful. But, of course, there's other misshapen blocks, and one of them particularly is Dragon Egg, obviously. Oh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's kinda like a trophy. Uhm, does that make it special? Does that make it- Yeah, I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does that make it worth breaking the rules for? Uhm, as a, as a block, you know, who would say an egg was a block?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what it is, but the question is, do we feel like this is going to cause problems? P-Flex, how do you feel about eggs being boxed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. You would, I mean, you are referred to as an egghead very often because of your high level of intelligence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, so you don't think we should put that forward. That's fair enough. Uhm, no, but also, of course, that does get rid of fences, which I know, Sips, you may be a fan of fences, I just wanted to check that they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think fences are cool, but are they as cool as bookshelves? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're cute, but without the sapling in them on their own, they don't hold, they don't hold up. And the same thing, I guess that's probably the same thing with wool and concrete to some extent too, right? Like maybe just if, if, maybe if you, if you look at them in a vacuum, they don't hold up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna request to remove wolf from my list as well actually if that's possible and concrete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If that's, is that, is that okay, PFLAX? Absolutely. That's fine by me, yeah. Okay. So then we got Skull, Skull Block. It's relatively new, but this is when you die, you drop a skull. They have been in the game for a long time. Not seen that. Various types of skulls in the game. Right. There are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, is anyone a fan? Just speak up or else I'm gonna carry on. Uhm, right, in that case I'm gonna carry on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, obviously attached to that is snow, snow blocks. Snow, less fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cause I was thinking that snow, obviously it has an attached block, snow layer, where you can have multiple layers of snow to give it that, which I always found frustrating to dig through, but it has got a wonderful playful


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, Christmassy kind of happy atmosphere. You know, when you find snow, it's always...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, somehow briefly uplifting, and then you do get bored with it, but it is, for a time, a joy. Uh, would you agree? Uh, PFLAX. Snow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's not seeing snow. You've not experienced the joy. Do you think you would, uh, get happy if you saw an icy snowy biome appearing in front of you with Minecraft? Probably not. No. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, again, we only need the majority here, so if Sips and I think it is, uhm, how do you feel about the boat, Sips?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think the boat's alright, actually. What, you like to add it to the list, you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if they look, make deserts look great, but I agree, they, they could, they could, they could go fuck themselves. Uh, pumpkins and melons, either of those attract you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep saying it, I'm gonna keep saying shit. I think we're not getting good ones anymore, I think the ones we're getting just ain't good now, they're just dry and... And what was the other one? Pumpkin? What about mango? Mango's kinda like... Love a mango.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little bit like a melon, yeah. Love a mango. No, mango's great. Um, let's move on. But, this is important, okay? This is a bit of one which you might have forgotten, but now you've heard it, you'll think, oh actually, damn, this is the best block in Minecraft. You ready? Cake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you could see that being a Buzzfeed headline, right? Like, best block in Minecraft finally announced, voted for by the public, cake. Iron ore. You know. You could see why people would vote cake, yeah. Not iron ore, well, fuck's sake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, fine. Uhm, that's, that's, that's, that's the first pass, right? We've got a few others that I just want to very quickly check in case there's some outliers. Uhm, we've got Soul Sand and Glowstone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you? I'm sorry to hear it. Uh, is there any other, uhm, I mean Hopper Daylight Detector, these sort of comparators, these are all kind of- Is that a Dennis Hopper block? Yes. Dennis Hopper as a block. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you feel about the command block? Do you know about those?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never heard of them. Too sweaty. What does this do? Too sweaty. You type code into it and it does stuff. Yeah, it's just too much. You could use them to like, fucking make the game mode into hard and spawn yourself a diamond pickaxe enchanted with efficiency six, I don't know, fucking whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, it's a bit sweaty. Next up, uh, Prismarine, sea lanterns, talking about your underwater base, do you have any particular attachments to those?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it, is it, is it, tell us why that should be one of the best blocks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not convinced. No? Not a fan? No. I'm not convinced. Uh, so finally, let's just do a couple of final ones. We got magma, which is kind of a solid form of lava. We've already got lava on the list, so I think lava is probably better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Magma Cube, so Magma Cube is a Minecraft, that's like a gelatinous cube of lava, whereas the slime cubes are obviously... I didn't realize you explored so little Minecraft, P-Flex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it's in the closet, it's, it's magma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, uh, we got hard glass, we got some packed ice, we got kelp, uhm, we got podzol, we got stonecutters and nether reacts, stonecutters!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think we're pretty much there. I did, we didn't do actually, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool, no, right. So uhm, we have on this final shortlist, we have, uh, actually got 11. Right. Okay. And so what we'll do is we'll cut through some of these by doing some playoffs. So first of all,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's do the lava water playoff. Uhm, which one of those is going to make it through? Lava is my vote.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, lava gets through, fine, water's out. Uh, and then we've got to do, um, sand. Okay. Versus ice. Um, which one of those is going to make it through? I'd probably say sand or ice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say grass. I'm gonna say grass. Right. And so then we're on to the quarterfinals. Okay. So the quarterfinals will start with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, well, this is a bad matchup, but, we're just gonna do it. Log, okay, versus iron ore block.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then the last quarterfinal is P-Flex's Sand versus Bookshelf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going with Sips, she's more passionate. It's about passion, it's about argument. That's fine. So we have the semi-finals now. The semi-finals. We've got TNT versus Log. Right. Well, TNT wins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other semi-final is another unfortunate draw, it is grass versus bookshelf. Oh man. Now, these are obviously grass, y'know, number one seed, but bookshelf is the OUTSIDER, uh, which me and Sips have been rooting for throughout this. P-Flex, how do you feel about these two blocks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We always sort of made our careers on TNT, you know, it's a classic, give honeydew, 46, 64.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's a classic, always remember that. And that, I mean, I remember, the fact that I remember what the TNT block ID is and I don't remember what the grass block ID is, you know, is leading me in that direction. And I think that, I think that it's, oh my God, I'm so tall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I think, I think it has to be, I hate to say it, it has to be TNT. I don't know why, I just love it too much, it's too much fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leia, it was very close, it was very close, but I feel like that big red boy, he just gives too much joy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're always happy to find one, a TNT block, and blow it up, even if it's only a little small explosion. It's, it's so, it's so much, so wonderful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well also I think the TNT somewhat reps the Creeper, right? A little bit. Like, like, you know, the TNT, the Creeper is a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A secret TNT block, and as much as I hate them in game, they really do make it so much more exciting. You know, without the creeper, back in the early days anyway, Minecraft wouldn't have been the same. So a little nod to that as a core.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A non-story. Right. Yes, uhm, I was gonna come down on Tuesday and I was gonna go back tomorrow, so I should be in Bristol right now recording this and then we were gonna do ball action and we were meant to record something yesterday. My eldest got sick and she's never sick and I started feeling poorly and I thought, if I go down to Bristol, I'm gonna bring


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially since, you know, we would have gone out drinking and I would have been, you know, you're the fucking best mate, we would have all those drunken close up conversations, so if I did have something, everybody would have-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so yeah, apologies, but no, a non-story. Now to the actual story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they've got them, uh, they've got them done really well in this, they're genuinely scary. I mean, they're sort of like, you know, it's not like, oh it's just a zombie, we'll just dome it and carry on going, you know, hit it with a rake. These things are like, properly terrifying zombies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like, uhm, it's like being in a dream, isn't it? When you're trying to run and you can't run, uhm, you're sort of running through treacle, I guess it feels like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But really slowly and you're barely lifting anything around. But so the thing with traditional zombies was it was about the real monster is inside. You know, you're the monster and the people turn on each other. So I think this is just, no, it's the monsters. Like it is just the monsters. So I forgot about the character. I think it's Tess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. No, yeah, that's true. Right, but I'm just saying I completely forgot. She's in episode one. She's like Joel's sort of partner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny, what you're saying, Lewis, about the fanbase reacting and stuff like that, I was talking about this on Shield Street the other day, and the people forget, and cause they're young, a lot of the people that, you know, listening to this, a lot of them seem to be in their 20s from the emails that I get, you guys were not around when Lord of the Rings first came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the, the hardcore Tolkienites who were like, they got this wrong! And nobody gave a shit. And I don't think anybody should give a shit if they change something in...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A fucking TV show that's based on a game. If they say, we're gonna get rid of this key character of Joel, he's gonna be played by someone else. So well fair enough, you can complain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So give me an example of a remake where the director like put their own spin on it and ruined it for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, but the wheel of time, they had to compress a huge series of books into what, 10 episodes or whatever, like that's always gonna happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think it's also for most people who are not gonna get up in arms about slight changes. And it's a bit like any community.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were all dickheads. If you watch the show, and I'm sure you have, with your kids- A couple of times, yea. All of the trains, all of the trains are little shits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, sorry. So, he says, I eventually, this James says, he eventually hears about the latest drama.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drama, a hundred percent in inverted commas, these are his words, is a weekly occurrence. I think it's a common thing for most fanbases to have a wide range of people from different parts of life. The comments made about some of the community having a sexual aspect to it is a hundred percent true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a few friends and I have spent years trying to rid Twitter of people like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the Thomas the Tank Engine fandom. Yes, dude, yes. Cause we said, I was like, I guarantee you some people are fucking into this that are perverts about Thomas the Tank Engine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it can range from humanizing the trains to straight up grooming and pedophilia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a real problem that cannot be simply fixed by getting these people, as he puts again in inverted commas, banned off of Twitter. I took part in this fandom to see behind the scenes material, production information and other interesting things from a little known show called Tugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried, I did get involved in one community and I actually ended up bringing it down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it wasn't me. Sadly I failed in my quest to bring Eve down. This was uhm, probably about three or four years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no. We can talk about that in a second as well, because obviously something's happened regarding that in the last few weeks. Uhm, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had, we had a Markov chain bot. When I used to play Eve and I was on something awful with a bunch of guys that I knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had an IRC channel, like a lot of people did, it was before Discord, people used IRC. And we'd all chat in there, and we had all kinds of bots running in there, and one of them was a Markov chain bot, and what a Markov chain bot does for anyone that doesn't know, is it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pulls together sentences and phrases from everything you've said in that channel and then auto-generates posts of its own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That can be very funny, can be very surreal, can just be complete nonsense, and over time it develops a syntax and it starts to say things, and you can identify, especially people on a Discord or an IRC channel who've got a big voice and a very, you know it's them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you sort of see the markup bot generate a sentence, and it's like, this clearly, it's pulled bits from X user, and, it's very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we had this bot, and it kept going down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it would come back and it would have forgotten everything and it was like, not working very well. So I'd found this thing on, on, on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some reddit, or I think I just googled it. And they had a community, so I joined the Discord.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I asked a very simple question, uhm, hi there, uhm, I've read the, uhm, I mean for a start the landing page was about three screens of rules.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I just asked the question, I said, hi there, I've read the rules and everything, and I know what you said about the Markov bot, sometimes it'll be down and there's nothing you can do about it, but is it normal for it to be down for two weeks? So all I was asking was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I went insane. So then I went on Twitter and I complained at them and said, look, I don't know what your problem is. I said in my message, I understand that it might, that your rules say, do not ask why it's down. It will sometimes be down. I'm just asking for a clarification.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was like, the response to a literal question just asking for clarification, because the fact that they had on the disco was not very clear. It was literally like, shut up and if it's not working, just shut up. I was like, I'm just asking, is this normal or have we broken it? Because we were hammering it, like we were using it a lot, people were using it a lot. And I was just worried something somewhere had broken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like that, it's like, you're like Mr. Burns when he sells the nuclear power plant, and he goes to the bar and they all start making fun of him, and he's like, my god, Smithers, they're not afraid of me anymore!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but the, but the, the issue is, and you would have this if you watched this with your kids, uh, Sips, uh, and maybe even- My kids probably would actually like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but, so, so my kids really loved the show for the first couple of episodes and then once they start revealing the celebrities behind the masks, after a couple of times they're like, I have no idea who these people are and I've lost interest. So me and Mrs. F, obviously we're older so we're able to guess who they are. Here's the people who've been revealed so far this season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But most people don't know who the fuck Lulu is if they're below 30, I'd suggest they might not know who Lulu is. She's 74! She's old. She's like my mum's age. She was great. Um, Cat and Mouse was, that was a duo, Martin Kemp and Shirley Kemp, do you know who they are?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so Shirley Camp has really not been famous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Will Young, who was relatively- We're probably bigger celebrities than these people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think that the American audience, certainly the way the American TV shows are made, they want to force the drama immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was, so there was one set of characters who I thought jumped out as being completely out of place, which was those weird big creatures by the lake, they're sort of caught Andor and the other guy and then- You're right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that felt really out of place, but it was a really, really good show. That one bit was like, jarringly too- that was almost like they were showing-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is from, Matt says that we should do a future, one of our filler episodes, our best of lists, he should, we should do best technological advancement.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a jingle jangle that you blessed us with this morning. Thank you. Hashtag blessed. High energy. Thank you so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I know, I'm bringing it back. I feel like I missed out on the first wave and now, you know, it's time to bring it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll both have eggs. We'll both have eggs on our face. Yes. It will be hashtag cringe. Yes. And not hashtag blessed at all. You'll be like, what's the opposite of being blessed? Damned. Cursed. Indeed. Hashtag cursed. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, man, I have been absolutely hammering plate up like there's no tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been having a lot of fun. It's nice to, uh, it's nice to be, uh, really into a game, you know? Like, you get, you get those, you get those times where you're just like, I like the games I'm playing, but like, I could take them or leave them, but man, played up has, uh, has absolutely captivated me. It sucks you in. It's enchanting, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think uh, I think people, I think especially if you can play it with like, uh, a person or a group of people that you work well with, it is very satisfying. It's a lot of fun. And quite hard too, surprisingly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like, uh, as opposed to overcooked, which it gets compared to a lot naturally, overcooked is something that you can just kind of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, where it just gets insane. But it's really fun. It's really, really fun. I've enjoyed it a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we got to like overtime day 21 or something, but like it was insane. Cause like when you start the game,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By day 21, we were, we were, we were, we were getting like 75 customers or something. Like it was just insane. It was really hard to balance and then we lost, but it was, it was good. It's been really fun. So yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Time zone to me as well. So she's just, she's existing on these like really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just to fit in with like my, my like schedule and stuff. It's pretty, it's nice, but like I'm also concerning as well because obviously you don't want somebody to be, you know, their, their, their physical and mental health being affected, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. It's one of those things, right? I feel like it's a game that you'll