[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do, uh, uh, yeah, I use a company and, uh, yeah, I got, now I got people that come sell it and it's like, I, I thought I always said, I don't want to do that. I like selling the merch. It's fun for me. And then the first time somebody else did it, I go, that's the way to go. What was I thinking? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's great. So you made some cash. Yeah. And I got good merch, right? That's the point for me is it's like, I don't want to, I don't want to shirts that people like, I want shirts that people can wear even if, if, uh, even if you don't know the comic, you're like, this is still a cool looking shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd go up one foot and go, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do it right now, but I just wanted to show you that I could fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She, she bought the shirt for me. I handed it to her and then she went over to my feature and she goes, I'm trying to get in the club. And he's like, this is not how you get in the club. And she goes, is that Hardy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you give the shirt back to her? I refund it. Oh yeah, she kept the shirt, but I did refund the money. Oh, brilliant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love my Helix sleep mattress and pillows. What is great is you get to take a Helix sleep quiz and get matched with the perfect mattress for you. I've had my mattress at least a year now and it gets better every night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only is it the best mattress I have slept on, but the setup was fast and easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Helix Elite Collection includes six different mattress models, each tailored for specific sleep positions and firmness preferences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Helix is so confident with how great their mattresses are that they also include a 100 night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty. It's completely risk free. Don't believe me? Well, Helix Sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I like it a lot. It is very good. Five stars. I make a lot of jokes, but it is good. I would rate it five stars. And guess what? Here it is. Here's the kicker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20% off all mattress orders and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash nate and use code helixpartner20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starts now. Now, right now. Get on it. Give me a pillow. The pillows are really something. They come in a box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see how my reading goes, and uh, these comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Reviews, and NateLand at NateBargazzi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Lisa Meola. Lisa Meola. Is that how you'd say it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good though. I mean, last week he did have to replace me with two people, but, uh, that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be interested to hear if how Jerry Clower influenced your path to becoming comedians. As a sm- as a group of- I don't know why I was adding a word in. As a group of all southern comics, I have to think at least some of you were exposed to him as much as I was as a kid. Love the show. I'm a huge Jerry Clower fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He screamed a lot, like a preacher almost. He was like a preacher. He has a great bit about how he recorded an album and somebody from New York City, they contacted him and they were like, next time you're in


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, he was great though. As a, as a comic, like he's not my favorite comic by any means. I can't listen to a bunch of Jerry Clower bits, but I do like him. And my dad told me that he used to be a fertilizer salesman, Jerry Clower, and that he would go around to the feed and seed stores. And he remembers Jerry Clower coming to his local store in Alabama.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a fertilizer salesman and said people would come in off the street to hear this guy tell stories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably. I think Jerry, I mean, I think James Gregory is a much better comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my opinion, I mean, James Gregory is like his dry bar. I mean, you, you can see the age on him on that dry bar, but that man is sharp and he is nailing it. I mean, he crushes. He does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. Steven Parker. Do you know Jerry Clarno? I know of him a little bit. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, Stephen Parker, if he hasn't already, Dusty should start grinding his own ground beef. All of the ground beef that you get from the store is conglomer- is a conglomeration of scraps from multiple cows. You really have no idea what you're getting. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, I mean, I'm with you. I don't grind my own beef, but, uh, I don't even have any cows to, to kill and, uh, grind up that beef.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it doesn't really bother me. I mean, I think you have to, you have to separate a little bit when you're eating out at a restaurant or, or because you're like, I don't know where this is coming from. You just have to let it go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once you've accepted, I'm going into this restaurant, I don't know who's cooking it, I don't know if they're on a two week notice, I don't know what kind of attitude problem they're having today, I don't know where they got the food from, uh, the people working down at the plant grinding this beef, were they having a good day?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but you know, I think maybe somewhere along the line, it might matter some restaurant and some of these people may be very honest, but I just think I was told by a guy that works at Publix that, uh, you can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, you can feed a cow whatever and then like the last two weeks before you kill it, you can feed it only grass and then be considered grass beef.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what's cheaper than grass that you're feeding these cows? Well, I think that the corn fattens them up. So you get more, you get more money for the cow once it's fattened up. Since you sell it by the weight. Yeah. And then the corn is all GMO, all has all kinds of chemicals. And I'm told.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cows are not really supposed to eat corn, I don't think. They love it, but I don't, I think if a cow was just out in a field with a bunch of grass and some corn stalks, I think it would just eat the grass. Now I don't know, but that's what I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I, I appreciate Stephen Parker and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any- Why is this? Any name with a B, people try to come up with as many possible B names for him as they can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think when you, uhm, told us that you had a new son, you didn't include your stepdaughter?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know when it happened. It did happen at some point. I'm the worst with dates. I mean, it really is. I got like four birthdays memorized and that's, you know, people from like in my, my sisters, my dad and, and my mom and even my dad's, I have to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You don't know Hannah's. No, I know that now I have Hannah's and my own kids memorized, but it's like, it's just like all these dates that we gotta memorize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can do my, I can do my dad's number cause it's been the same since I was a kid. I can do my mom's old number that is, uh, not active, but I could do it. I don't know if that would count. Uh, and I have my wife's number memorized and my number memorized. Your dad's cell phone? No, no, his old home phone. He still has his home phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chris Kelly, for me nothing is more awkward than being sat on a plane next to someone who doesn't have any entertainment on board because I always catch them looking over at my phone when I'm watching a movie. So I ask, would you rather have a person next to you who won't shut up and wants to chat the whole time or someone


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, you just listen to a podcast and shut the video part down. Right. And then close your eyes. Yeah. Someone that won't stop talking to you is, uh, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even if I'm interested in talking to the person, once the plane takes off, the pressure of the ears kind of hits me and I don't want to have to keep this going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can prep for it. At least if you're on the phone, you can just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I say, I know you're about to read that, can I say that my, my daughter will, she'll get our phones and she just wants to look at pictures. We don't let her look at the internet, but we will let her just look at the pictures on our phone and she'll find that video all the time and she'll talk to me and she'll go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, just give a little extra. I wore a Viori jacket this weekend. Uh, my wife put so much of our thick winter stuff away because it's like summer in Tennessee, but I went up to Cleveland. So I just grabbed this thin Viori jacket that I had. Very warm. Worked out great. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cameron Betts. As a comic with rising careers, what is it like to do shows knowing things are going well as opposed to when you're starting out just making ends meet doing comedy? Does success at any level affect how you perform and write?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me it doesn't. For me I am just writing the same kind of way that I've always been writing. The only difference is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I just feel, I can feel the confidence of being like, all right, I'm going to go do this joke. And if they don't laugh, it's because it's not a good joke and not because this is an audience that hates me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a one liner. Basically. Right. Well, I got this joke that I'm doing now in my set and I, I, you know, and it's about getting sick in my car. And I had this, when I used to try to tell it, I mean, I had,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I think too. And if I write a joke down and then I write it and I go, this is the funniest way to say it. Right. And then I, and if it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, it all started cause I had this one line that I wrote and I thought this line was really funny and it never was getting a laugh. So one day I sat down and I was like, I'm going to listen to this song and I'm really going to figure this joke out. What was the one line?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it said, uh, Five O'Clock Somewhere is one of my favorite songs because I too, like Alan Jackson, believe I should never let my personal responsibilities get in the way of my alcoholism. God, that's wordy, huh? But that's what I, that's what happens when I write.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause that was the whole idea was, you know, it's five o'clock somewhere. So let's drink, you know, sure. I got a lot of stuff to do, but it's five o'clock and I'm an alcoholic. So what am I going to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I do right that way and that's why I had to kinda quit doing it like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is, uh, this is a big moment. Uh, I have stopped doing the setup for the, we're having a good time joke and I've stopped doing the setup for the wave joke. I just, I just have my last few, my last few weeks, I've not done that and it. Cause they know what it is. So what do you do? Well, I just, he does 15.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I still wave and I still say we're having a good time. I just don't do the. You don't need to. Yeah. And I feel like it still hits harder when I do the wave joke because when I, because then even everybody's in on it. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I just stopped doing it and it feels good. Same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Cody Mason. Actors can be amazingly talented.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does that seem to be accurate? I feel like I've seen so many more cringe-worthy videos of actors thinking they are funny than comedians who can't act.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like saying that it's easier for a comedian to be an actor than for an actor to just be funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's had success. What about, uh, about Brian Callan? Did he start as an actor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like local, uh, actors, like when I lived in Charleston, you know, like the com, comics and all the kind of artsy people would all kind of drink at the same bar. And it was like the, the act, the local actors were, I had, a lot of them were my friends, but overall the most pretentious of everyone, the, the local actor. And I just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying, you guys are just pretending to be a different person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Elijah Brown. Is it better to take a stand-up comedy class before doing your first open mic, or should it be the other way around when starting out in stand-up? I am signed up to take a class this year, but I have yet to do an open mic. I was wondering which way would benefit me most?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I never took stand up classes, but I started first doing improv. So I took a bunch of improv classes. So I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting into, and I had done improv shows before I ever did stand up so I got, I got into comedy a different way. I don't know why that's so funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't think that I'm necessarily a great improviser, but I was always funny and I could, I did understand the rules of improv and how to play the games and how to do, like I just am not good at characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm not good at looking like, like when you create a world and you're like, all right, we're at a farm right now. Everybody else looks like they're at a farm. I look like I'm on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm good at like, you know, I'm funny and I'm also, but I'm funny in a way that they, they call like, you can, uh, uh, the bad funny is when you say you're pimping out your team. Like you're getting a laugh because you destroyed the world at the expense of the scene or the team. I'm good at getting a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and, uh, uh, it's hard to do any other care. They call that being generous too. A generous comedian. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Counting improv, I've been doing it probably 15, 20 years. I've been shuffling my feet. I can't stop doing it and it's always gonna happen. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An eight, nine or 10 is, or I would say a nine or 10 is very good. And those people are knocking it out of the park. I'm not there, but I'm not, I mean, the, the, the it drops off quick. So I'm at top. I'd say I'm top of all the bad improv. Oh, that's good. I'm top of all the bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, and I also haven't done it in 10 years. I mean, I may, I may be a forward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, this is what I use the Monty Mitchell method. Monty Mitchell says that comedy is like a tree and your, your main set is the trunk and that's what you've written down and you're like, all right, this is my set.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when you, you do a joke and you go, Oh, I want to act, I want to on a riff on this. So you go off on a branch and you go out and you go out. And when the limb starts to bend and break, you go get back to the, get back to the, get back to the trunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But sometimes there's a piece of fruit out there. Yes, yes. You guys are deep. That's the Monty Mitchell method, you know Monty? I don't think so. It's a Nashville comic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, when I first moved to Nashville, 10 years ago, I moved here 10 years ago in April, uh, the 10 year anniversary of the national comedy festival is also my 10 year anniversary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the, uh, your video used to be on the beginning of every show at Zany's. Oh yeaah. The video about tipping and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I would say sometimes I'd go, uh, check's coming. And, uh, this is a part of the show where you're starting to realize that maybe it's not quite as funny as you thought it was. And, uh, but just, I say that a lot. I say, just remember, you know, Hey, we're having a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boom. Excellent. To the moon. Rocket money. Clips in the sun. Let me ask you guys this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you were watching the eclipse. Right, right. And the moon covers the sun. Yeah. Did you see the moon making its way across the sky? And the sun was up here and the moon was like just working its way. And then you're like, Oh, eclipse. There it is. It's covering the sun. Or did all of a sudden the moon just appear in front of the sun? It was cloudy where I was. So I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be out in the daytime and see the moon. Oh yeaah. So I wonder why on a cli- cause you would think that you would see the sun and then the moon would be up there and then it would just start moving in front of the sun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First off, uh, sometimes, you know, if it's somebody I know and they ask me, these are my two conditions, I think. If you're like trying to get into the club and you go, Hey, do you mind if I do a guest spot so the club can see me and potentially book me? Or, Hey, I'm trying to film a thing and I need five minutes. Will you let me do it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mhm. I, those, that's where I'm like. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, maybe, but people that just live in a city and like, Hey, can I do your show? Can I do a guest bottom? I don't like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love, because yea, it's like, I mean, I'm not, you know, but if he's got more followers- Oh, he'd have mentioned you ahead of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that though. He should, yeah, I mean for sure at least promote the show, do something. Yeah, I didn't give him a specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was it anyway. All right. Chase house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In recent years, the frequency of comedians putting out their stand-up specials has increased significantly. How does the group feel about the timeframe between stand-up specials? I personally love comedy, so I won't complain, but sometimes it feels like the quality is dropping for some with the fast put-out pace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to do it right, I think. I do think, I mean, because I always thought it was crazy to put out a special every year. Uh, but for me, I, I mean, you know, and I wouldn't say I would do it every time, but it's like, I put out my special and then from the time I recorded my special,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To the time uhm, it actually came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was already working on my new hour and I got a, and I got an hour that I really like right now and I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I want to do this hour for another year? Do I want to go to some of the same cities that I've been back to and do this hour again?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or do I think I could record it? Now, once I do it, maybe I don't have another hour that I'm ready to do. But I just think it's like, do you feel inspired? Is it good? Do you have it? You know? If you do, you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the past, I've agreed that they're coming out too fast and the qualities drop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, l-last comment, Katie Stuns with a Z.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a whole flower conspiracy that I think if he dipped his toes in, he'd sink deeper than even the eclipse hole. I'd love to hear his take on it. I will say this, I have bought a wheat miller, if you want to call it that, a wheat grinder, and I do have a lot of whole grain, whole wheat grains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I do want to do it. I want to get into making my own bread. Like I say, I don't trust any of this stuff out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they say that like, shredded cheese


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you buy shredded cheese has little bits of wood particles on it to keep this cheese from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I trust them a little bit more. You just look in their eyes and know, uh, well, you know, it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that, you know, there was a place, now I don't know if this is true, but they, they shut down. There was a spot I used to go to in Charleston that was like, uh, supposed to be organic vegetables. But somebody told me that they caught, then it's closed now, but they caught them at the grocery store buying stuff and then selling it over at there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it is true, but they're closed and that's the only reason I would say it. I even talked to them about them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, somebody told me Western Sizzling and Oplacca closed cause I've been feeling bad about the green bean thing since I did it. And somebody told me they closed and they opened a Japanese steakhouse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I looked them up and they were still open and I was like, well, are they open? So I called them on my, we're having a good time podcast and I called them and they, um, they picked up and I said, we're still Western Settling up in here. Nice. Good. I did. She seemed very happy about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you tell them it was you? No, I just said somebody told me that you guys closed down and became a Japanese steakhouse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, nah, we're still Western citizens up in here. Do you think they're aware of your joke? I think so. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think she was. Well, the guy that owns that particular one is still the same guy that owned it when I worked there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was driving through West Virginia on my way to Pittsburgh and I saw that my, uh, uh, opener out parents from California and he had never been to a show knees and there's not a lot of them around. We gotta, we gotta eat here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, uh, you know, the food was okay. I mean, it was like a chonies, but it was very nice. And I was so happy to be in there. What did you get? I got the fish and chips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was a kid, I used to get the kids fish and chips. My dad used to take me to show knees all the time and I get the kids fish and chips and I had not been in a long time. So I wanted to relive that and it was still good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was so good. It, yeah, I walked around it this time and it did not look that good, but it used to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think I used to order a big boy at Shoney's. Yeah, I think they're the same. I think it's like Hardee's and Carl's Jr.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like why, why is it Carl's Jr. out west and, and, and, or, or up north and, and Hardee's here. Right. I love a Hardee's egg biscuit though. Egg and cheese biscuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they're annoying fans. So I agree with you. What I'm saying is you can't brag. I cheer for Alabama, but I never say we. And you don't talk trash. And I don't, uh, you know, I, yeah, I don't really talk trash. So this is what I don't talk trash at all. Yeah. So this is, I may even stop cheering for them now that Nick said he's retired. Yeah. Yeah. It's the saddest thing that ever happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I grew up right next to Auburn University and my joke is where I come from, you're either an Alabama fan or you went to college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, once I learned to make sourdough, once I learned to grind my own wheat and grind my own beef. Yeah, there you go. I'll be making hamburgers homemade out here. I'll be grinding beef and wheat. And you can say we all day. Yeah. I'll make a roll tie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in this, in this rules list, you're not picking Vanderbilt because they're about to win a bunch of games. That's right. Right? It's like, if you live in, if you live where I grew up in Auburn and you're like, I'm an Alabama fan, you're picking Alabama because they win a lot or there's some family ties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you drop out, you drop a tear. Yeah, you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dropout should still get it. Yeah, you should, if you drop out, you're, you're just all other civilians. Bronze. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's be honest, you're dropping out with one credit. You've dropped in several tiers throughout your life. Oh, a hundred percent. You've dropped in a lot of different tiers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was horrible. Apparently it was not an actual graduation. It was just made to look, it was a podcast they were doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we is mainly bad when you're trash talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how I am with the NFL a lot of times. Like I'm like, I get interested in a team when a certain player goes there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Like 2-0 or Philip Rivers. Yeah, like, but I, I, you know, growing up I was a Dolphins guy. I didn't know a lot about football growing up, but I had a Miami Dolphins starter jacket. I was a Dolphins guy. That's all it took. That's all it took.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. I wish I had one. It was, I loved Dan Marino when Ace Ventura was one of my favorites. Uh, and when Dan Marino was in that movie, I was like, this is amazing. Uh, and so when Tua from Alabama goes to the Dolphins, I'm like, oh, this is great. Makes sense. Bringing it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, the pa- yeaah, Bryce Young, yeaah, the, and, and, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude was at the, uhm, Patriots for a little while. Mack. Mack Jones. And then, uhm, there was one other guy out there. Joe Namath.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it was like, yeah, it was hot. I mean, and I'm, I like that. I mean, now that, uh, Derek Henry is going to what the, uh, the Baltimore Ravens, I'm like, I'm interested in seeing what's about to happen. Are you going to follow him to that team? That seems like a, I'm not going to go out and buy a Raven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, I'm from Cleveland, that's why I'll always root for the Browns even though they keep doing you wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like to do a podcast called We're Having a Good Time and then talk about a lot of serious subjects. Yeah. That's what I like to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The last time I went, I saw a band at the Ryman and, uh, I forget what the name of the band was, but they were, I mean, they were great. They were a rockin' band. I mean, it was awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I wanted to sit down and the people in front of me kept standing and there was, you know, but I think it was cause the people in front of them were standing. Right. And then it's like, but I'm like,


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[Assistant] Just let's sit down for a little while. We don't have to stand the whole time there. We do have seats here.


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[Assistant] I would have said something like right away. I would have been like, Hey, are you filming? Right. What are you doing?


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[Assistant] You just indoors, just, let's just all stay on the ground here.


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[Assistant] The Ryman is such a, a weirdly intimate place that people, I was, I, I used to like Damien Rice a lot. He's a bit of a, you know, a sappy kind of love song guy, but I was into it. I'm not really into that music anymore, but I was into it. And I went to see him at the Ryman.


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[Assistant] And he's just basically out there with his guitar and he's like, he's got these, you know, this, this album of songs that everybody liked, but he's not really doing those songs, which I'm fine with. I'm there just to see this guy sing. He's a great singer.


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[Assistant] And people just keep yelling out their request, just random requests all the time, just yelling like constantly. And it's like, just let him play.


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[Assistant] The, the last time I went to the Ryman, that band that I was talking about, I don't know why I can't think of them, they're really great, but I, uhm, the Alabama Shakes, let me just


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[Assistant] No, and he got, I don't know. And, uh, but, uh, I'm, it's sad that I can't think of it now, but, uh, there was a couple about my age, really drunk.


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[Assistant] Alright, you want to tell us where you're at this weekend? Yeah, this weekend I'm going to be, well, tonight I'm going to be at Zany's. Show's already sold out, but I'll be there though. It's a hot show. And, uh, uh, Friday I'll be in Louisville, Kentucky.


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[Assistant] Uh, at a, uh, at a theater. I should have had the name of it pulled, pulled and ready to go, but I'll, I'll be at the Kentucky center for the performing arts. And then on Saturday, I'm going to be in Cleveland, Ohio at the Agora theater and ballroom. Nice.


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[Assistant] Hosted by Brad Paisley, just me and John roasting each other. Oh wow. For 90 minutes. That's gonna be great. That's a joke. Yes. I don't want people to be like, oh I'm going to that. No, it is just gonna be a comedy show, very fun, but I tried to not invite John.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the calendars episode, we did put it out about probably over three years ago, one of our early ones.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but people really love the episode. We talked a lot about leap day on there and leap year. And since today is leap day, we thought it'd be a fun time to revisit it. Talk about it.


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[Assistant] I remember going with you guys to a New Year's Eve party when Harper was two and she stayed up to past midnight.


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[Assistant] And she, I corresponded with her. She said she wanted to really thank you for doing shows for the troops. It meant a lot to her family. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And I was like, if I call myself my real name, they're going to get it. They'll get it. Let me call myself bracelet.


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[Assistant] You know, uhm, a lot of people commented on the downtown, like, how did you guys miss the Seinfeld reference? You did say it. You said it really fast.


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[Assistant] And you said Seinfeld reference, but we'd already talked about it before the show.


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[Assistant] It is, a few people did that math for us. Yeah. And, uh, you know, I asked my buddy, Ben Hall, who listens to podcasts about


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[Assistant] He's the one that lost out that night. And I was like, what were you thinking? He said, I took a date. That's how confident I was that I'm going to win something. And then when they announced we've got a tie, he's like, I've won twice. He thought he was going to win twice.


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[Assistant] This person's making the point that that's when lifespan started increasing greatly. We showed that graph last week.


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[Assistant] One's for uh, acid reflux. One's just a daily.


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[Assistant] I bet doctors get frustrated now with all the self-diagnosis from the internet.


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[Assistant] Cause whenever I go in, I always tell the doc what I think it is and he always just stares at me, lets me finish and then he tells me what it is.


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[Assistant] But I always look it up, you know, I feel like I feel like I need to tell him what I think it is.


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[Assistant] We're like, yeah, actually that's a good idea. Or we might do two parts of it. I got a lot here, folks.


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[Assistant] Uh, do you know how we come up with the year, 365 days, like that length of time? No, of course not. I've never...


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[Assistant] Yeah, so for a day, that's the earth spinning on its axis. One time around, the earth spins at a thousand miles per hour. Right now we're traveling a thousand miles an hour. Feels like it. Feels like it.


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[Assistant] I'll double down one more. Do you know how we come up with months? This is the toughest one.


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[Assistant] Yep. One cycle of the moon's 29 and a half days. The word month came from the word moon.


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[Assistant] So ancient calendars used to be lunar calendars. They go off the moon and, uh, so the moon goes through a full cycle about every 29 and a half days. Uhm, but it would start to mess things up because the sun and the moon don't cooperate with each other. Have you heard Roy


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[Assistant] So the Romans had the first calendar kind of like ours, but theirs was only 10 months long.


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[Assistant] They didn't have January, February. New Year started March 1st.


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[Assistant] Well, that's their reasoning. They just called it a dead period. We don't need it.


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[Assistant] The word octo is eight, like octopus has eight legs, but the October is the 10th month. The reason is before this, it used to be the eighth month, because there was no January or February.


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[Assistant] So it wasn't working for a lot of reasons with his name. So in 45 BC, Julius Caesar said, we gotta do a better calendar, guys. Come on. So. That's like if a president ran on, uh, right now.


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[Assistant] Julius Caesar's astronomer. This is amazing they could figure this out that far back.


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[Assistant] I know. I couldn't either. But they're astronomers figured out that the earth goes around the sun 365 days. So they made a 365 day calendar just like we have. Starts January 1st. Has a leap year every four years. Do you guys know how we come up with leap year?


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[Assistant] They said a day was 365 days and 6 hours. But a day is actually 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes and 46 seconds.


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[Assistant] In this case it was the guys Julius Caesar hired to do it. So it was off a little bit. I need to hire a calendar people.


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[Assistant] So he was slightly off by 12 minutes, which over time started causing a problem.


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[Assistant] Because he put in a leap year every four years. I learned this. A leap year is not actually every four years. Occasionally, we have to skip it.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, there's a, there's actually a mathematic equation to determine what a leap year is. You, uh, leap years fall, they gotta be divisible by 4, unless the year is also divisible by 100, and if the year is divisible by 400, you keep it.


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[Assistant] You're gonna add up. It is gonna be a problem. That's exactly what happened. I think I just lost mine. You're back. Okay. I can't hear myself, but that's okay.


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[Assistant] Uhm, so over, over time it became a problem. So by the year 1582,


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[Assistant] When Pope Gregory was running the Catholic Church, we were off by 10 days.


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[Assistant] By 1582, Easter wasn't even following when it's supposed to, so Pope Gregory's like, we gotta fix this. So his, his guy figured out this new equation.


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[Assistant] Well anyway, Pope Gregory's got figured out we don't need a leap year every time.


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[Assistant] So last time it was skipped was the year 1900, the next time it's gonna be skipped is the year 2100. And that keeps us...


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[Assistant] Back on pattern so we don't get ahead of ourselves. But we're still off by 26 seconds. Even now.


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[Assistant] So, we're losing time here. By the year 4909, the Gregorian calendar will be a full day ahead than it's supposed to be.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the seasons and Easter and...


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[Assistant] But some Protestants view the Gregorian calendar as a Catholic plot.


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[Assistant] So countries that weren't Catholic were like, we're not doing this. We're not going to fall for this Catholic nonsense. So countries held out, England held out until 1752.


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[Assistant] And then when they finally changed over, the citizens got mad because the counter went from September 2nd to September 14th and rioters said, give us back our 11 days.


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[Assistant] It took some countries so long to switch over that in 1908 the Russians missed the first 12 days of the Olympics because they were still using the old calendar.


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[Assistant] But can you imagine training for four years and you show up and they're like, it was last Tuesday. Why? What happened? Uh, wrong calendar. I mean, that's crazy.


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[Assistant] Uhm, some churches, Orthodox churches still don't use today's calendar. Orthodox churches, like, uhm, if you're Latvian Orthodox, if you convert, Nate, you're Latvian Orthodox. I will. Your Christmas, that's a George Costanza.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah. Uh, Christmas, Christmas day is January 7th. So Orthodox churches are celebrating Christmas this week.


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[Assistant] That's a good question. I don't know. Maybe they take their kids out of school. They might not believe in school.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, there's a lot of different types of orthodox. Greek orthodox, things like that. But they celebrate some of the holidays different. Uh, China has their own calendar.


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[Assistant] China calendar. They go by animals. So they don't go by years. So this is the year of the ox.


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[Assistant] The rat. The year of the rat. Uh, that says 2010 though, right? Oh, it is 2020. You're right. You're right. The year of the rat. So they're still putting rat on all their checks right now.


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[Assistant] Ohhhh. Yeah, their new year is February 12th, so. So. It'll be a metal rat year. Well this is mo- oh, okay, a year of the ox will follow. Oh yeah, 2021, a year of the ox.


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[Assistant] So it's more ceremonial than everyday use. They don't write that on their chat. It's very funny to think about that.


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[Assistant] Uhm, in Afghanistan and Iran, it's currently the year 1399.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so our calendar started, uh, current one started when, with the birth of Christ.


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[Assistant] And there started with Prophet Muhammad made his journey from Mecca to Medina in year 622.


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[Assistant] I think they really go by it. I don't know how many legal diagrams they have, but in Ethiopia,


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[Assistant] Yeah, she knows some stuff. In Ethiopia right now, it's the year 2013.


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[Assistant] Because they calculated their calendar differently when Christ was born. They have him being born in the year 7 BC by our calendar center. So they're eight years behind us.


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[Assistant] That was. So that came from a, uh, a monk. Sixth century monk said, Hey, we should start the calendar on when Jesus was born. And he did some- One guy said that. Uhm, and then- He's the one that came up with it. I think so. Yeah.


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[Assistant] A sixth century monk known as Dennis the Small.


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[Assistant] What he said was with the year 1 AD, probably Christ was born between


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[Assistant] 6 to 4 BC. So he was a little off. And they left out zero. There is no zero. It goes from 1 BC to 1 AD. So that's why Newman's Newmanian party was off.


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[Assistant] That makes sense. Mayans, the Mayans had a calendar that went from the year 31-14 BC


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[Assistant] To December 21st, 2012. And that's as far as it went. So many people thought the world was going to end. I shouldn't say many. Some people thought the world was going to end in 2012.


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[Assistant] Yep. So uhm, now people are trying to change BC and AD. Uhm, you guys know BC and AD, but people don't like it because it's based on Jesus' life, so they're trying to change it now. They want to call BC BCE before Common Era, and AD change it to CE Common Era.


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[Assistant] Like BCE, they call that like post or pre-modern times, I guess.


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[Assistant] Yeah. But now like modern day historians.


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[Assistant] The scientists and historians come up with the human era calendar.


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[Assistant] And it's, begins 12,000 years ago. So this would be the year 12,021. He had 10,000 years to the current calendar. Cause he says all of humanity.


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[Assistant] Is basically been during the last 12,000 years.


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[Assistant] So he wants this to start from when hunter gatherer lifestyle went to fix settlements.


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[Assistant] A, uh, Frank Costanza type guy came up with his own calendar. Uh, the international fix calendar has 13 months. Uh, there's some random days just thrown in there, not attached to Monday.


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[Assistant] And, uh, Easter always follows the same day. Christmas would always be on Wednesday.


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[Assistant] My bank is changing names. SunTrust is changing to like Truist or something.


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[Assistant] It's a very slow rollout. First I just noticed it like, what is that written on the bottom of the website? And it's getting bigger and bigger.


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[Assistant] From 1928 to 1989, he used this international fixed calendar at his company.


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[Assistant] And he was like the only one that kept doing it. Nobody else would try it. He even opened an office for headquarters for the International Fixed Calendar League, but it just never took off.


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[Assistant] Soul is a month that he added. He created. This is a 13th month calendar.


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[Assistant] Uhm, the Soviet Union tried that, their own calendar, where you each get a date, like your day is blue day, and your day is green day, stuff like that. And, and it just didn't work, like.


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[Assistant] People were working different hours. There's been a lot of crazy.


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[Assistant] Like, uh, they would assign families, they thought it would pick up productivity, did a five day week.


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[Assistant] And then they're like, your day's blue, so those are the days you work. And then your day's green.


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[Assistant] Some guy came up with an invention called the Positivist Calendar.


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[Assistant] Every day, every day is 28, every month is 28 days. There's a standalone day at the end of the year for the dead. Down to the dead. And every leap year they have an extra day dedicated to women.


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[Assistant] No, it's a standalone, monthless day at the end of every year. So one day a year, it's dedicated to the dead.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was on a Wednesday, so you couldn't celebrate with the rest of, if you worked there.


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[Assistant] Uh, the, a new day starts at midnight and I always thought it should start like around sunrise. So I would change the new day. Yeah, something like that.


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[Assistant] Cause if you're like, I was out partying last night till 3 AM, you don't say, you just kind of count it as that, that previous day.


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[Assistant] Well I would say 5am. 5am. 6am something like that.


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[Assistant] I mean, we kinda do. Don't you, like, like, you don't look at the calendar, say, if you're playing, cause summer starts June 21st. If you're playing golf on June 6th, it's 90 degrees. I mean, it's like, oh, it's springtime.


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[Assistant] I could see that. I looked up what, I didn't even know how Easter fell.


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[Assistant] The rule of Easter is the Sunday after the full moon that is next after the March equinox on the Gregorian calendar.


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[Assistant] Well, I think I just read that's impossible, didn't I? After the March equinox. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it can range from late March to all the way through April.


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[Assistant] Uhm, do you guys know how we came up with a week being seven days? I don't know why I keep asking this. Yes, I do. Okay.


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[Assistant] Alright, give it a stab. So why we came? And I read two to three different answers.


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[Assistant] Yeah. The moon has four main phases. So some people say per month. So some people say that's what a week was based on. And the other thing I read, the Babylonians,


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[Assistant] They gave it the number seven for the weeks because there were seven objects they could see in the sky. The sun. Sunday. The moon. Monday.


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[Assistant] No, they're Greek gods. They're other gods. They named it after. What was Friday?


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[Assistant] Uhm, days are actually getting slightly longer because the Earth's rotation is slowing down.


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[Assistant] Tomic clocks show that the modern day is longer by 1.7 millisecond than it was a century ago.


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[Assistant] And it's creasing by 2.3 milliseconds every century.


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[Assistant] This is one of those days I can. This is one of those days I can. You know what I mean? Do you want to segway into, uh, I mean I got more here, but we can segway into New Year's resolutions if you want. Do a couple more.


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[Assistant] Alright, I'll do one more here. We got, uh, so the Julian calendar named after Julius Caesar. He was the first one to make it January 1st is the New Year Day.


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[Assistant] But in the, during the middle ages, which we've covered, we


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[Assistant] Don't know much about, but during the Middle Ages, Christians


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[Assistant] That weren't Catholic, they got mad about it and they're like, we ain't doing that. So they started changing their own new year.


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[Assistant] What county are you from? Wilson. Wilson. And we ain't doing that.


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[Assistant] Uh, in the year 567, the Council of Tours, that's T-O-U-R-S, abolished January 1st as the beginning of the year. And it went, for a while it was December 25th. Then they changed it to March 1st. Then they changed it to March 25th.


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[Assistant] We, uh, well, we covered a couple of weeks on the Christmas episode. That's when people, that's nine months before Christmas and they think that's when the angel Gabriel came to Mary and said, you'll be with child. So nine months later, December 25th is how we came up with Christmas. So there you go. The council of tours right there.


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[Assistant] There's two of them. Oh, 567. They had two tours. Uh, anyway.


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[Assistant] But if you ate at Applebee six hours ago when, when the reverse, you'll remember in six hours, I'm back at Applebee's.


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[Assistant] I read where there's a group of scientists studying right now why time always goes forward and never backwards.


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[Assistant] I mean I can't get my head around even why you would have to think about that.


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[Assistant] Going forward, you're going to stuff that hasn't happened to us yet. In theory, going back. Yeah.


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[Assistant] That's fair. Uh, you wanna get in some resolutions? Uh, let's do a couple of those. Yep. Alright. Alright. Well, do you set your resolutions?


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause you don't, I don't, I think Panera, if you can let that slide. Uh, it says the Pew Research Center says...


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[Assistant] Uhm, so the most popular resolutions, uh, number one, getting rid of debt.


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[Assistant] Number two, eating healthier. Number three, exercising more. Number four, losing weight. So the three of the top four are all kind of the same thing.


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[Assistant] But according to US News and World Report, the failure rate for New Year's resolutions is said to be about 80%, and most lose their break-it by mid-February.


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[Assistant] And research shows that on average it takes approximately 66 days for a habit to become automatic.


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[Assistant] Because I just think if you gotta come in to do it, you won't do it. Oh, that's their business model.


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[Assistant] There's an episode of friends where Chandler and Ross go down, do it together. They both go to cancel it. Yeah.


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[Assistant] You never just want to go once. Just immediately you're like, I'm good. Could you work out alone?


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[Assistant] Yeah, one final update on a previous story. The, I meant to mention this last week, the balloon boy parents got a pardon from the Colorado's governor. Oh really? Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The dad had to go for a while, yea. A while? Like, maybe 30 days or something.


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[Assistant] And his record's expired, so, so he's no longer a felon.


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[Assistant] This is about, uh, the shortened, uh, episode. I haven't read this yet, so I don't know what it says.


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[Assistant] No, uh, actually it was my decision to shorten the podcast. Nate wanted to do three hours, but I'm like, guys, come on, I am so busy.


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[Assistant] They wish they could comment during the episode. I get it. Cause I, I mean.


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[Assistant] Even the ones I'm not on, if I listen, I'm like, these guys are idiots. I listen to Dusty's every week and I'm like, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about.


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[Assistant] Well, maybe we have different news sources, but, uh, I think the first of the year they were saying we're going to go back this year or make a trip around it.


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[Assistant] 2025, we're gonna land on the moon. Now they've already scrapped the 2024.


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[Assistant] Well, let's don't get ahead on furniture talk.


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[Assistant] Have you ever seen her Instagram story? There's something right now that's the greatest thing. She's awesome.


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[Assistant] You can read the first one, but I want people to know comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple podcast reviews, and naiteland at natebargetzi.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian Bates' Gmail or Brian Bates' social media. Or my Twitter.


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[Assistant] I uhm, I've never been a hero, far from it. If anything, far from it. I've called some detriment, probably.


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[Assistant] Angela Johnson, who was on our podcast a few weeks ago, I opened for her at Stardom and


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[Assistant] Uh, and Hoover right, like two days after the tornadoes came through Tuscaloosa did so much damage. And she stopped and bought all these supplies. I don't know, I can't remember if she had a contact there and knew what to get.


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[Assistant] Will we stop the target and bought all these supplies that apparently.


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[Assistant] Maybe rescue workers need or something and she paid for it all and we took it to the scene and. That's cool.


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[Assistant] It was a lot of stuff, so Angela stepped up. Wow.


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[Assistant] I always reference Seinfeld. There's a Seinfeld episode where George puts a dollar, I can't remember what it was, a bill in the tip jar and right when he reaches to do it, the guy looks away. He doesn't see it and he wants the recognition. Yeah, sure. I get that.


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[Assistant] I wasn't there, but Nate's bus driver, Ricky, was really a hero.


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[Assistant] Nate's road manager at the time started choking on food.


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[Assistant] And Ricky gave him the hamlet maneuver and saved his life. Yeah. Really? Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I did take a infant CPR class when Eleanor was born. Oh, okay. And, but they also did it for, you know, adults and she was talking about, I have a joke about this, the woman from the Red Cross teaching it talked about abdominal thrust.


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[Assistant] And I said, are you talking about the Heimlich maneuver? And she said, yeah, but we don't call it that anymore because Dr. Heimlich had some beliefs we don't agree with. He was a Nazi, right?


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[Assistant] I think it was about a actual procedure, like the proper way to do something and they disagree. It was like a scientific


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you mean do this one? Yeaah. Joshua Heimstrider.


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[Assistant] Friday at work we sometimes watch a show during lunch. I picked Dusty's new Netflix special.


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[Assistant] Within eight minutes, two people had spit out food laughing and one guy choked pretty bad. Oh, perfect timing for that. He is okay now. This is Heinz Streiter. I mean, that may be related. This is all related.


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[Assistant] The manager declared that this is not work appropriate. I guess not.


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[Assistant] However, everyone in the room asked me afterward who that comedian was. I think Dusty made some new fans.


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[Assistant] I think a lot of church comedians use visual effects.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's financial decision, maybe I should use Robinhood.


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[Assistant] I drugged my wife, oh, I drugged my wife and six of my in-laws to Aaron's show in Columbus. That's a good way to put it.


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[Assistant] During his act, Aaron had several very funny bits about the city of Columbus. It got me wondering, how do you guys go about creating material for a specific place? Has it ever backfired and upset the audience?


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[Assistant] Did the dead horse and the Mount Rainier that day. I was blown away by crazy how great it was. Very first time he told it.


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[Assistant] Pretty well. I've been to a small town in Tennessee where I've made references to things there that they didn't know about.


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[Assistant] Yeah, one of them was, uh, I did a Christmas party in Lewisburg, Tennessee. And I, when I grew up, Lewisburg is a very small town. There was a guy who made it.


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[Assistant] I think all the way to the majors from Lewisburg, he was my age and I thought this guy is going to be a hometown hero.


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[Assistant] And I started talking about him. Nobody knew who I was talking about. Not one person. Wow. Now granted that was 35 years ago, but I'm like, oh boy.


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[Assistant] I think it's supposed to, the emphasis is supposed to be on six. Oh, six flags instead of six flags. Well yeah, maybe not quite that strong, but yeah, that's the point they're making. Six flags. I don't know how to do it, but yeah.


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[Assistant] I mean, I could see it being like her mom, like six flags instead of six. We'll see, I can't even.


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[Assistant] That Aaron, Aaron, what was that word you corrected me on just the other day?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean my last two bombs have been two of my higher paying corporate gigs.


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[Assistant] Well, I was gonna say the same thing. I started when I was 35, but I was single. Uhm, to me that's more important than your age.


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[Assistant] A few hours before the show, I got the wild idea to dress like Dusty to just sit in the crowd and laugh and enjoy the show.


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[Assistant] My wife talked me out of it, but I am really regretting listening to her now.


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[Assistant] Just wanted to know what Dusty would think of performing in front of a crowd full of imitators. Would you be into it?


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[Assistant] There was a guy in Lightington at your show that we did that was very much looking like you. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Uhm, alright, this week we're talking about furniture. I gotta ask you guys, when you come home, at the end of the hard,


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[Assistant] There's not three adults in our house. Okay, then why have a couch?


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[Assistant] Uh, sometimes I like to sit there and then if there's somebody I'll just stretch out and keep watching television. Lay down.


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[Assistant] Have you ever in the time of your life, the couch has been your bed?


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[Assistant] The average age of a mattress is seven years.


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[Assistant] They do, uh, gain weight over time.


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[Assistant] Uh, back to couches. I don't know if there's a difference between a sofa and a couch.


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[Assistant] A sofa's average life expectancy is 2,958 days. That's roughly 8 years. A sofa's life expectancy?


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[Assistant] Uh, we eat on average 13 times a month, we eat on the couch.


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[Assistant] Well, if you haven't seen the video, it's very funny video that these guys are in. So go check that out. It is funny.


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[Assistant] And I know when you're not eating hot chicken, you're eating Hello Fresh.


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[Assistant] Alright, let's talk about the television. You got a certain place when you moved into your current house, the TV's gotta go there.


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[Assistant] I agree. Our TV is above the mantle above the fireplace. Oh, it is brutal. It's, it's, uh.


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[Assistant] Now in our defense though, we cut the back legs off our couch so it tilts. Exactly. So we're kind of looking directly at it. Exactly.


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[Assistant] Current prices because I had no idea and of course there's a lot of deals right now for the Super Bowl. That's when they try to get you. The most expensive TVs I could see that you could buy like in a normal store like Best Buy or whatever was $5,000.


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[Assistant] I read where desk chairs were basically invented by Charles Darwin. Oh.


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[Assistant] He was doing a lot of research and he wanted wills on his chair so he could quickly go back and forth on his stuff.


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[Assistant] Do you guys ever check into a hotel and be like, what is this? Oh, yeah.


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[Assistant] I think it's dusty every time. I think it's not plugged in up there. What is?


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[Assistant] How would you decorate the White House? Like what's one bestie sleigh touch?


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[Assistant] That's true, because as a kid, that's where we put a lot of stuff on.


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[Assistant] I think, uh, like a stairmaster or treadmill is probably one of the, it becomes furniture.


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[Assistant] I'm gonna be in Palatka, Florida. People tell me how to pronounce it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think I was saying Palatka, but it's Palatka, Florida. February 17th.


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[Assistant] Although he, he starts with it, doesn't he? Uh, February 29th, I'm at the Comedy Catch in Chattanooga. Alright, hot club. Yeah, my buddy Alex Valuto, who's been on this podcast, is coming with me there. Alright. And then March 1st, the next day, Hudsonville, Michigan at Fellowship Church. Nice, dude.


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[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform. Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


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[Assistant] You guys couldn't take the heat from all the blowback about the one hour episodes. That's right.


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[Assistant] Omaha nebraska and then kansas city the night before the super bowl the heart of america.


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[Assistant] When they introduced me, I would get such a pop that Nate was having a hard time following me.


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[Assistant] Yeah, somebody did come, more than one, like, wow, he went up those steps better than I expected. Well, we don't have a, yeah, cause there's no railing.


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[Assistant] I know. That's tough. Look, I didn't even, I wasn't offended by the comment. I went out better than I expected.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Well, when they put a, somebody honored, make her get a five second call.


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[Assistant] You won after midnight? I did, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Wanna ask y'all this, how much steak do you think you could eat in one setting?


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[Assistant] Well, our buddy Michael Clay came along with us this weekend on the trip and I think I sent you a couple of pics of this, uh, somehow.


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[Assistant] No, I'm just asking about, alright, I'll start taking.


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[Assistant] What, are you out of your mind? But every time you're like, I said no you didn't. Oh yea, you did actually. You know, send an email. You're lucky you got an email.


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[Assistant] You eat that much steak, you're gonna need a doctor. Maybe ZocDoctor.


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[Assistant] There were some I took, but I guess I just sent you the ones.


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[Assistant] Well, there's a few out there fighting for the title because as I've said before, I get Google alerts every day about Brian Bates and they're all doing a lot better than I am.


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[Assistant] He brought your mom into it. I mean, it was out of hand.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so someone, uh, Katie Stuns made this shirt for us and, uh, I survived the hour of Nightland Podcast.


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[Assistant] Donuts are delicious. No one's still new. They're like, I don't understand this part. No, they do not. He's eaten a lot of donuts.


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[Assistant] Oh really? I can't get up. You mean you keep dropping your daughter?


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[Assistant] I'd say you gotta take care of yourself as well as your child. And the best way to do that's AG1.


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[Assistant] Uh, one of the owner's sons had a ball called the super ball and the owner said, well, we should call this championship game, the super bowl.


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[Assistant] Where do you live at? When we get a phone book every year, first thing we do is flip to make sure our phone number and address is listed correctly.


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[Assistant] Uh, alright, so this week it's uh, Valentine's Day. So, I thought it'd be a good time to talk about farming.


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[Assistant] Some people say we deliberately sabotage the podcast.


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[Assistant] Like Coke did when they introduced new Coke. Oh, interesting. And then quickly after backlash, you went back to Coke classic and it drove up numbers.


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[Assistant] Some people think we were like, did it on purpose too. Oh, an hour? Yeah, yeah. Oh.


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[Assistant] Can I say, I think Nate's new hour is the best one yet. It is really, really good.


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[Assistant] I'll be the first to tell you. But to your point about stand up comedy, you make a movie, you don't know it's bad. I guess until maybe the audience doesn't go, but stand up, if they don't laugh, that's the first clue.


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[Assistant] It's everything you need in clothing when it comes to working out or just lounging around, which may be more.


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[Assistant] My speed. Oh, I hadn't read this in a head. Uh, seriously, it's more comfortable than whatever you're wearing right now. I'm wearing the, uh, uh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Viori is an investment in your happiness. For our listeners, they're offering 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate.


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[Assistant] That's vuori.com slash nate. And not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns.


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[Assistant] All right. Farming, uh, farming has been around pretty much from the beginning in the body.


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[Assistant] Uh, in the Bible, Adam tended the Garden of Eden. That's kinda like a farmer, right?


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[Assistant] And some gals, I guess. They say early man was hunter gatherers. That was like the first. And then they eventually evolved into farmers. And that's when people really started to flourish and thrive. Cause you're not now hunting for your food to live. You're growing it. Oh dude, all of us.


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't know if this is true or not, but, uh, red on the line, half that habitable, is that the right word? Habitable land on earth is used for farming.


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[Assistant] We, uh, I think I told this on the jobs. I, in college, I would, summertime I'd help local farmers in tobacco. And one time we,


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[Assistant] It had rained and the leaves had gotten wet in the, on the back end and it somehow seeped into our pores.


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[Assistant] From the beginning, you, uh, you know, I always just helped out for it, but they would grow these tobacco slips. And then first you pull them, once they grow a certain length, you pull them up, gather them up. Then you, there's a tobacco setter where that was my favorite part, you and.


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[Assistant] It's either a two person setter or a four person setter. You sit there and a wheel goes around and you just plant the


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[Assistant] In the wheel and then it plants it into the ground and that makes the rose.


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[Assistant] That's fun. You got a friend there. You're just hanging out doing it. I was left handed. So it always worked out good. Cause you know, they needed a left handed person, a right handed person over there. And then, uh, while it grows and you have to cut it to, well, you have to do things, get rid of like weeds and stuff and then cut it eventually. And then hang it in the barn and let it dry out here. And then it eventually goes to market whole process.


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[Assistant] Yeah, especially like the- I don't know, I don't know. I didn't do it well. I didn't do it well.


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[Assistant] I mean, I had a full, I had a hair, and then- No, I know who enjoys cutting- You never grew out long hair or anything? No, no, no, no, no, no.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they go crow. Goes back to Adam, naming those animals. He got tired because he'd been farming all day.


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[Assistant] Those strings just, even if you're wearing gloves, you gotta wear gloves. They just go right through your.


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[Assistant] Cows eat it in the wintertime when grass isn't growing. It's dead grass that's dried out.


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[Assistant] Could be. Farm Aid, uh, started in 1985 by Willie Nelson.


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[Assistant] John Mellencamp, Neil Young, to help farmers. They thought it was going to be a one-time thing, raise enough money, we'd be good. And they've been doing it now for, what, 40 years? What did I do, a show? Yeah, it's a festival kind of thing. Yeah, like a Woodstock.


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[Assistant] It's usually like in Illinois and just help farmers out. I want to do farm aid. I should get on that. Seems like that would be something.


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[Assistant] When is this? Yep, she just recently, I think, joined. Uhm, they haven't announced the date for 2024 yet that I can find, but it's usually in the summer, I think.


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[Assistant] Cal's lead to global warming, but from what I read, I mean, I guess it just depends on who you ask. That's not that big of a contributor.


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[Assistant] This is from, probably, this is from, uh,


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[Assistant] What was it, the Andrea Doria? We called it the Ella Fitzgerald? Yeah. Yeah, I don't. He's a singer.


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[Assistant] Yeah. No, no, no, we're done. Uh, you're in Florida this weekend in Florida. I'm in Florida this weekend. Go to nature. Go to mine. Your choice. I've seen nature.


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[Assistant] I'm in Palatka, Florida, Church of the Heights. Free show. So we drive home night night. Just remember that. Where's that at?


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[Assistant] Just keep that in mind if you want your money back, just remember that. Yeaah. There's a local Christian radio station that paid your ticket. Uhm, and then, uhm, February... And they didn't buy all the tickets.


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[Assistant] I did have a show when I walked off stage in Kansas city in front of what 16,000 people felt so great. Walked straight in my dress room, look at my phone. I had a text from a comedy club coming up in the future and said, Hey, so far we've only sold eight tickets. Do you mind if we do some discounts? And it's just a great.


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[Assistant] Just bring you back down to earth. Just reminder of, you know.


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[Assistant] So this weekend I'm in, uh, Palacca, Florida. Uh, I got the comedy catch coming up in Chattanooga. Uh, March 1st, I'm in Hudsonville, Michigan. Uh, and then we'll go from there.


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[Assistant] I feel like even years for whatever reason, more stuff happens in odd years.


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[Assistant] I guess I just think Olympics happen even years and I feel like the World Cup happens even years. A lot of stuff. Elections.


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[Assistant] Are you worried that total working man, people are going to do some background check and find out you didn't live in a trailer park?


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[Assistant] You probably had more jobs than any of us.


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[Assistant] I did have that old school mentality that doesn't exist anymore. You get a good job, you just stay there, so.


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[Assistant] I got thrown out by the secret service at a Al Gore event once. What were you doing, causing a ruckus? Didn't have the proper credentials.


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[Assistant] Oh, really? You were there at New Channel 5? Yeah, I was in New Hampshire, the New Hampshire primary when Al Gore ran for president and, uh,


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[Assistant] Company that we were working with didn't have enough media credentials for everybody. So.


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[Assistant] Uh, we were like one shorts of me and the camera guy had to share.


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[Assistant] So you should, what I should have done was just hang tight close to him because he was wearing it and not make myself known, but I started.


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[Assistant] Like they grabbed me and they hauled me out in front of everybody and they questioned me. Like that doll.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, he was vice president of the United States. And there's some guy pretending like he has credential and he does it. And I got questioned and then finally they were like, all right.


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[Assistant] I wasn't wearing it and I should have just stay low profile, but I started wandering around.


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[Assistant] But I didn't think, ah, who cares? Where's this story been all this time? Yeah. I thought I told it, to be honest with you. No, I never heard that.


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[Assistant] I was waiting for the, an even year to tell it. Yeah. Stuff happens.


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[Assistant] I think I did have a cell phone cause I remember calling and saying, well, when you leave, at least bring my coat. Yeah. I couldn't walk back to the hotel. We were at some of, I mean, it was like far away.


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[Assistant] It's how long were you outside? I felt, I feel like I went to like, uh, there were satellite trucks there and I knew somebody that was inside, you know, running on the satellite trucks. So I just went in there and sat in the satellite truck.


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[Assistant] They're not going to arrest me, but they're like, leaning you back in.


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[Assistant] What was the other person doing? He was reporting. He was a reporter, a photographer, and me as producer.


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[Assistant] So you were the most expandable. Why could they not get three badges? It was some...


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[Assistant] Yeah. Iowa and the New Hampshire. Yeah. So just up there in the thick of it. And Bush was there too, which is funny because Ruth worked for Bush. So should have been there. Uh, I don't think it that I don't, we've talked about, I don't think she was there, but it'd be funny if she heard about it.


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[Assistant] Ruth pointed out to me that she, well she didn't point out, but she was the, uh, deputy chief of staff for Condoleezza Rice. The person who replaced her.


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[Assistant] Huma Abedin, whose husband would, which would make me Anthony winger. All right.


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[Assistant] We've had a couple of fun things. Uh, we did a surprise birthday party for Laura.


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[Assistant] Too much. Nah, that's not true. But Dusty's wife was like filming me all night. Like the point where it was awkward, like I'd move and I would just see her moving with me. I'm like, what are y'all doing? You're stealing the show.


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[Assistant] Literally, I feel like at least half the time when someone says literally, it's not literally.


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[Assistant] Can you do a CPAP recall Philips respironics or whatever?


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[Assistant] Whatever. Yeah, whatever. It's living life, man. If it happens, it happens. Yeah. Worst comes to worst. I just got breathing.


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[Assistant] I mean, one of my goals for 2024 start smoking. So, Oh, nice. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Starts now. Don't mind, can I light up?


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[Assistant] Maybe it's a good time to tell us about DraftKings.


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[Assistant] Well, this week we are talking about Ohio. Ohio. I believe all three of you are performing in Ohio this month. January. Oh really?


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[Assistant] They have, of course, Ohio state, they have a hockey team, soccer, but I think about baseball, football, basketball.


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[Assistant] Ohio is the Buckeye state, because there's a lot of Buckeye trees there.


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[Assistant] Well, I was being funny that because people always call me out. I'm the one that writes it and then I'm like, according to this.


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[Assistant] Uh, if you carry, uh, one of the nuts in your pocket, legend is you'll have good luck.


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[Assistant] They have the only state flag that's not a rectangle. It's a pinet. Like a... It's a confusing flag.


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[Assistant] You've heard that before being a news? I have. I mean, most of the broadcasters do come from the Midwest because it's centrally located so it doesn't get too strong any direction.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. Uh, but I do, we talked about Tom Brokaw was from South Dakota.


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[Assistant] Peter Jennings and all those guys were from, but I think they are usually from the Midwest.


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[Assistant] In Columbus, 50% of the country lives within 500 miles of Columbus. Oh wow. 50%. So that's a good place to live to do comedy. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I don't know, but I know how they got home. They landed in Dayton. Sorry suckers. Did they?


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[Assistant] Three presidents have come from Ohio. It's called the Mother of Presidents. Taff. That and Virginia. How'd you know that?


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[Assistant] They're all like, nobody recently. William Henry Harrison, ULSSS Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, William McKinley, Taft, Warren G. Harding.


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[Assistant] I think Virginia also has eight and they also call themselves the mother of presidents.


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[Assistant] Now my favorite is William Henry Harrison. I think I told this story in the president's episode, but Dusty wasn't here. He gave the longest inauguration speech of any president, nearly two hours. Kind of like you at theaters.


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[Assistant] He got pneumonia and died a month later. Shortest term as president.


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[Assistant] So the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a pyramid with multiple floors. Okay. And I went and did not realize this. So I spent all day on the first floor and then.


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[Assistant] They make an announcement, we're closing in 10 minutes and I see people coming downstairs. I'm like, what, what are they doing up there? And there's like six other floors and I just try to go through them in 10 minutes. Wow.


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[Assistant] I would have totally enjoyed it if they hadn't told me. Like if I had never known, I'm like, oh, that's pretty good.


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[Assistant] But it, this was 1997, I went to the World Series. The Indians and the Marlins. Oh, why'd you go up there?


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[Assistant] Uh, me and my buddy just like, Hey, let's go the world serious. So we just drove up there and went. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a pyramid.


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[Assistant] Pro Football Hall of Fame, also in Ohio, in Canton. That's where anybody been?


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[Assistant] First official professional football game in Ohio. That's why it's there in Canton. Dayton triangles versus the Columbus Panhandles.


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[Assistant] Panantels, how about that? Yeah. Yeah. Dayton triangles, Thomas Panantels.


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[Assistant] When I was doing my research for this, you and Dusty both posted on the road at the Dayton Air Museum.


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[Assistant] I was with you on yours. I think it was the first one you put out and y'all both saying yours. I can go through a museum pretty fast because I don't read.


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[Assistant] Uh, the Ohio, Ohio State University, third largest in the country, over 60,000 students. Third winningest football team in college football history.


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[Assistant] The last time Ohio State lost to Notre Dame was 1936. That's embarrassing.


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[Assistant] Ohio has an official state rock song, which is played at every Ohio state game. And I think most Ohio sporting events hang on, Sloopy.


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[Assistant] Uh, did you know Shawshank Redemption was shot in Columbus? Outside of Columbus. Mansfield, Ohio. I'm sorry, Mansfield, Ohio State Reformatory. I saw the outside of it one time.


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[Assistant] And Arby's is Boardman, Ohio. That's tough. That's a tough one.


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[Assistant] I was speaking to a school that day as a representative of New Channel 5. Were you really? Yeah.


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[Assistant] What were you speaking about? My alma mater, they asked me to come talk about the news business. Your alma mater of your high school, your elementary, yeah. You say alma mater? No, I'm just saying. Can you not?


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause Al Gore was 2000. Pre-911. Have you ever thought about, I'm sure you have it?


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[Assistant] The Columbus Blue Jackets, why they're ca- why they're called the Blue Jackets?


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[Assistant] I think I always thought it was like a hornet or something, like the yellow jackets. Jackets are blue.


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[Assistant] Uhm, they sent the most soldiers to the Union Army during the Civil War.


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[Assistant] Uh, some TV shows shot in Ohio. There's a few famous ones that have- Shot in Ohio or take place in Ohio? Take place in Ohio. Okay. Take place in Ohio. Uhm, can you name any? Strange to be there.


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[Assistant] All right, uhm, WKRP in Cincinnati. That's probably before y'all's time, but yeah, big for me. Hot in Cleveland. That's more recent. Those have.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's a kind of cool story. I think it's a small town, not a lot happens there. And then he makes it big. And some guy said, we should take this dingy old alley and make it something great and show that you can accomplish great things. So they named it Dave grow alley and, um.


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[Assistant] That's cool. So 21Pilots, Dave Grohl appreciating, Jason Day, Dave Chappelle.


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[Assistant] I mean, I've met him. You've met him, but, uh, that wasn't, I mean, those are all famous people, but I'm like, wow, Nate knows every one of these. Josh needs great.


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[Assistant] Alright, who do you guys really think is the most famous person in Ohio?


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[Assistant] And what I did not know was Steph Curry also from Akron. Oh really? Did you know that?


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[Assistant] Marilyn Manson. I guess he was born there. Sarah Jessica Parker. Wow.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So who are the three biggest actors on West Wing?


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[Assistant] It's doing great. Uh, I mean we can wrap it up.


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[Assistant] Let's see here, uh, Third Rock from the Sun, Family Ties, also set in Ohio. So. Great shows.


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[Assistant] Uh, some good amusement parks there, Kings Island.


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[Assistant] Oh, uh, the Toledo Mudheads. So on MASH, Maxwell Klinger.


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[Assistant] Uh, on match always, he was from Toledo. He always mentioned the Mud Hens, his favorite baseball team.


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[Assistant] So uhm, Toledo of Mud is. I think our friend Doug Bachler gave, I think he sent it through you, this hat and shirt. But when we were in Toledo, we did shows together and there's a Jamie Farr's restaurant there.


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[Assistant] I mean, Pete Rose, Johnny Bench, those guys were the team of the decade in baseball.


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[Assistant] Uh, they've fallen on some hard times lately. The Reds have.


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[Assistant] Uh, this weekend I'm at the Palace Theatre in Crossville, Tennessee with Henry Cho.


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[Assistant] January 26th, I'm co-headlining two shows at the Walnut House in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, which I've done shows there before. It's a great place with, uh,


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[Assistant] What? Our wills don't go up. That's how we can afford to charge these price for these tickets. We have to fly with our wills down the whole time. So we add about 45 minutes each. Yea, it takes a while. It takes a while. We don't go as high. Velo. We don't go as high as the other guys.


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[Assistant] It's just they have, they, but the seats are comfortable. What if, because what if someone tried to cut cost?


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[Assistant] Another way, instead of the seats and the food. Just flying lower. Just flying, you know, lower. Keep the wheels down.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's no reason to. I learned something. You can't talk about how cold it is.


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[Assistant] People will immediately. Oh yeah. Oh, that's cute. You know, and then they tell you how cold they are. And you're like, I'm just making conversation. It's cold for us. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Oh wow. We've had some real problems. We weren't ready for it. Pipes frozen. I mean, yeah, we had some serious stuff. We had some pipes froze.


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[Assistant] I won't think about it till next year when the pipes burst again.


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[Assistant] Oh, I saw the video you posted. Man, it's crazy out here. It's crazy. We're figuring it out.


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[Assistant] They said that in Montana this weekend, they were saying we don't have a problem with ice on the roads because of the humidity. It doesn't freeze the same way.


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[Assistant] You ever use those hot hands? I was using those all week. The hot hands.


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[Assistant] Magical thing that they've invented.


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[Assistant] You think the shake is the thing holding it back from being used on?


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[Assistant] You know, I don't, I think the shaking is just getting oxygen in there, right? It's just, so if you just find, if you get a big enough one, you put it outside.


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[Assistant] Look, I'm not saying actually get one, the big one, but like, you're not doing anything else with that?


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[Assistant] He goes, you're here, he goes, you ordered the washer dryer, right? I go, yeah. He goes, I got good news for you, man. I'm the best in the business. He said I'm the best in the world at this.


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[Assistant] And then, so I could do that really. Did you ever come in with that kind of crazy confidence though?


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[Assistant] That looks like, uh, somebody cut the crust off of a piece of bread. Yeah. That's fatback.


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[Assistant] Let me ask you this, you were in Dayton this weekend, the first weekend since the special came out. Did you feel, was there a difference?


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[Assistant] You can be the king of that city soon. How often do you talk to the electrician?


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[Assistant] Just dip it, his toes in an arena in the round. It's crazy.


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[Assistant] What do you do when you get kicked out of a game? You just go sit in the locker room?


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[Assistant] I remember when I was a kid, I used to think it was their car. Like it was their personal car that they were driving and I used to feel bad when they got in a wreck. Cause like now that I can't get it.


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[Assistant] I wanna, I, we drove down to Tuscaloosa, Dusty and I to do a show. We showed up, it was the worst possible situation for a show. We walked in, we were like, oh no dude, packed bar, no stage. Years ago. This was a long time ago, this was pre Netflix, Dusty.


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[Assistant] Uh, I'm in the same place, but uh, Dusty's moved on, but we show up and the owner comes out and goes, Hey, I just don't feel like doing a show.


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[Assistant] It feels like a long time. I'm happy to be here guys. I'm happy to see you guys.


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[Assistant] Yeah, she was transcendent talent back in the day. Very funny.


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[Assistant] Delivery services, parenting apps, it's endless. I'm guilty too. Look, I talk about it all the time. I use rocket money to help me find out which subscriptions I'm actually spending money on.


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[Assistant] Cancel your unwanted subscriptions right now by going to RocketMoney.com


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[Assistant] That's rocketmoney.com slash Nate. One more time for everybody in the back. Rocketmoney.com slash Nate.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you should. I'm thinking about getting back into it. Just a new look. I went through a phase where I just had a pocket knife on me.


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[Assistant] You don't think about the things you need, like, a lot of times I need a knife.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's a good look dude. That's like one of the coolest things you can do.


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[Assistant] Lean up against a tree and eat an apple with a knife? Like you're not telling that guy anything. Yeah.


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[Assistant] He's not talking about, it's not associated with Ohio a bunch.


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[Assistant] He's credited for inventing the light bulb, but there's like, uh, people say now, people say now he like stole it from uh, from somebody else.


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[Assistant] You don't believe that they feel great or that they're actually getting that little sleep? That's happening.


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[Assistant] I can tell dude, you got bags under your eyes, you look tired, you yawn in a bunch.


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[Assistant] Self-educated. That just means, that means no education. Yeah, I mean, get it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's crazy. He would do this pop and set away shows.


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[Assistant] Nate at checkout. The only way to get 20% off is to go to JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate and enter code Nate at checkout one more time. That's JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate. Code Nate. There it is.


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[Assistant] I didn't like it just now. Yeah, I could tell you didn't like it either. That's why I did it the second time. That makes sense.


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[Assistant] Yeah. When I open for Ali Siddique in Huntsville.


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[Assistant] He saw on stage somebody snapping at his server.


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[Assistant] And dude, he, he stopped the show. He's like, did you just do that to another human being and just tore into the guy? I do think about it now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know if it's pronounced Soray, but I think it's, uh, uh, from a different country.


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[Assistant] I don't know which one, but somebody tagged the Instagram of that person.


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[Assistant] I mean, I get what you're doing. You're sliding down a hill.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I like sledding. Sledding's fun. You know, when you're bigger, you can catch a little, a little momentum.