[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and he was sort of, you know, went through these series of trials and eventually killed himself. Um, well, I think he died of a drug overdose. He had other problems, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was certainly compounded by this idea that his act was obscene. Um, whereas of course it's very much something which the first amendment was supposed to protect. Anyway, this is beyond our knowledge base.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, tits has become tips, tits is the lightest one of all time now. And also if you're in Australia you can call people a cunt anyway, doesn't matter. Not on the news!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, it's just like a friend, it's like saying mate, you know? It's good, it's a good word. Uh, jeez, anyway, let's get off this topic. It's been a bit of a stressful one. It's a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there is some light in the darkness. I think a lot of people are very loving and positive and there's been fantastic stories of support and care and people looking after people. I mean coronavirus has brought us, hopefully this, this, this will create lasting change. Hopefully this will make people, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think we're going to see change in terms of how business is done. I think we're going to see change in how terms, in how...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, do the right thing, not be the evil guy, not be the evil dictator, be someone who is, who treats people the way that they deserve to be treated, which is with love and support and care and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's sort it out. Anyway, thank you for listening to everyone and be good to each other. I know you guys are. We're preaching the converted here. It's just weird to get it off our chests, I guess. Go and tidy your room. Yeaah. Go and have a little cleanup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not too much, cause reading, reading the news can damage your mental health. And a lot of it is negative and a lot of it is, is what they want money, news that they want money. All of the corporate, all the news media is all owned by rich people who want money and they want to suck you in and addict you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So remember that as well when you read the news. You gotta take it with a pinch of salt and stay off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stay off angry reddit pages and angry twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or just like a, maybe like not even a creepy guy, maybe just like a really wholesome old grandad, like holding an ice cream. But it'd be really weird, like a smiling grandad, just smiling really happily in every picture. Somehow. How did he get into every single one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd say we definitely had two weeks in London where maybe, maybe slightly more where it was. And there was that one week when it was like 38 degrees or something. Well, I'm glad that, I'm glad that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's true. It does make things better. I do like the heat. I prefer to be warm than cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, honestly, the heatwave we had this summer made me pray for death. It was ridiculous at some point. Just walking around the house, just like lying down on the floor and just dying. It was, it was, uh, it was bad. And my dog, poor old doggo, she was, she was suffering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the dog just climbed in because she loves the smell of like old socks that have been worn pants. So she slept with her face buried, buried in a pair of my pants. She's like one of those guys. She is like a creepy pervert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they, they just, they love the smell of, of being around you. Like, there's no smell you can make that's gonna offend a dog. Like, very occasionally, I suppose a really bad fart she might give you a look like Christ, but more often than not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, but sometimes if we're cooking a particularly spicy curry or something, she's walking around sneezing because it's like upper nose, the curry smell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it would be the green that cartoons use to indicate poison gas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think it's, it's the sense of a bad thing has to be consistent. Right. Like I don't think we've got enough colors. There's what? Like seven colors?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're actually announcing that you, Louis Brindley of the Yogscast, does not have the same fidelity of smell that a dog does. That's an impressive admission.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could, they would be able to tell, but they wouldn't be able to recommend what to go with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now here's a question, right? You get, you get plastic bags of wine. Can you get plastic bags of beer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then wouldn't cans similarly deform? Isn't it the contact with oxygen that makes it, you would just need a special valve that doesn't let any air in. But I guess the problem there is how do you let, like when you, I buy wine bags with the little tap on the front, where you squeeze it and the wine comes out, and I guess some air gets in to displace


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, I watched a YouTube video where a guy tries to drive between two towns with his Tesla without touching the steering wheel. He was like, let us see if it can do it and I'll just be here to correct it if it looks like it's going wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the problem is that like you said, roads in the UK are very different from the roads in the States in that we will quite often have a very narrow road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would not trust a computer on those at this point. By the way, their net income was minus 862 million dollars last year. I know. I don't understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just don't understand. I thought companies had to make money to be worth something. But I mean, they've been around for a while, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, like other companies are also going to be making them. Like you're telling me that BMW and Volkswagen. Well lots of companies are, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would be worried about Elon Musk's, um, mental health and stability, because when you look at some of the shit he said recently...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he wants a brain chip. He called his kid with like a phone number or a formula for- He didn't do that, that was just a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's getting a little bit like the crazy scientist who at the start of the film you think he's, it would be like Christopher Lloyd's character, Doc Brown in Back to the Future, by the third Back to the Future film, he's sending


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't know the story well enough, like, of the decline of Blackberry, like, other than people liked the fact it had a keyboard, whereas in the old days you used to have to just type the numbers on your phone, so if you wanted to get to an F, you'd have to press, let me think, two, three times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, speaking of golf, uhm, I'm learning to play golf. Nice. I'm getting lessons. I have my first- IRL. Is this because you played PGA Tour? Yeah. Whatever last week, just for a week. This actually seems kind of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, on Sunday for a month, we'll see how it goes. I'm very, I'm very bad with anything that requires me to twist. Like I'm not a flexible, I'm inflexible physically as I am mentally, right? I'm very rigid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've just had the weirdest flashback. This is a memory I haven't thought of in a very long time. Alright, it concerns a kid I was at school with called Dean. Right. And Dean liked to play golf. We would have been about 13. Let me get my popcorn. This is a longan. It's about 13 or 14 and Dean was into golf. Okay, I'm ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What it really teaches anything, it was just running about on a field for an hour. And when it came to football, they stuck all the good players on one team and all the shit players on the other team. Or they would just say, Forsyth, you're in goal. And I would be like, fine. And I would just stand there. And me and my friend William hated playing sport. We just wanted to be inside and play Dungeons and Dragons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, what a lesson, this is bizarre. And the teacher was just like, goading him, he was going, go on Dean, let's see if you can hit this one, and Dean would shank it, and he'd be like, wayyyy. And we were also, god this is the worst lesson ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Subsequently, we go on the canal boat cruise, which was a trip that these two teachers would organize every year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where a bunch of kids would sign up, there's about 15 or 20 of us I guess, on a canal boat for like a week. And we would go up and go along all the canals. There's this one area, someone will know what it's called. It's a series of locks, canal locks, in a row up the hill. There's like 20 of them with something stupid like that. It takes a whole day to get up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and he was like, hitting golf ball, he had a, he brought his golf clubs with him on this school trip, which is just bizarre.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he would hit the balls and we would go and get them. I don't know why. I mean, you know, when you're a young kid, you do whatever. And one of them landed in a cow pat. And Dean, Dean bet Adam that he wouldn't eat some of the cow pat. And Adam said, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much? And Dean said £5, which obviously when you're 13, and it was the 80s, is a ridiculous amount of money. It's like a small mortgage. So Adam takes a piece of the cow pack back onto the canal boat, puts it, it's like an inch cube, puts it in a glass of water, dissolves it with a stick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, went into this pub. And we're all standing behind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Richard as he goes up to the bar. And the barman just put both his hands on the bar and sort of leaned over like, waiting. And Marrow goes, uh, he puts his money and he goes, pipe please mate. And he just looks at us and we're all obviously children. He's just like, just get out of here boys. And we sort of left and Richard was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you guys haven't been there, 100% getting served, 100%. And he was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five foot tall or something because he was just a little kid. It was so funny. Those were the days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there was no social mobility for a serf, other than I guess they might become a squire? I don't know if that was a thing you could do. Like, there was, most people's life was just one of grind, and if you were summoned to war, you had to go, even if it was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they can't. Right, first of all, you have the, you have the rule of law, which means that if the Prime Minister killed someone, he can't just go to the Pope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm not saying it's, we have a perfect system, but I think if you look at the average person's life now, as opposed to the life of a medieval peasant, and I'm not just talking in terms of healthcare and phones and, you know, buses and TV, I'm just saying your rights are far, far greater than the rights of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To hold them to account, they weren't independent bodies. I mean, you know, you'd never hold the king before a bunch of other nobles to publicly answer questions about, uh, you know, what he'd been up to, uh, the way you do now. I mean, if, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And would obviously cost millions to put right, but which are huge pads with massive tracks of lands, but it's kind of like the house in the money pit, you know what I mean? It's like falling apart, you know, that if you step on, oh no, don't use those stairs! It's like, you know, it's like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's just like falling into disrepair. Those are always very cheap, but I think you'd have to be minted to turn those out. And then you see these houses that are obviously incredibly wealthy people live there, but it doesn't look like they live indoors because everything is just so, and I know they've done it for the pictures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, there's no, there's no element of humanity in the building. All these rooms are perfectly beautifully furnished, but you don't get the impression anybody actually lives there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but my other favourite thing is, and there are a bunch of Twitter accounts that do this and, uh, Instagram posts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bed is raised up, sort of raised bed over the toilet, which is just a little tiny, like so narrow you would just be like your shoulders would have to be in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people are like, I'm very lazy, so this would be perfect for me. But there's a shower next to the sofa. So you're on the sofa and there's the shower cubicle, like, to your right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's the shower, and then there's one window, and I just thought, 800 pounds, like, people must be renting these properties. Uhm, if you are living in a box room, please do tell us, I'd love to know more. Uhm, it's fascinating to me, the situations that people find themselves in. But obviously you must have been to visit it and thought, yeah, this'll do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In which case, what were the other ones you looked like? What was so much worse about them? Uh, I would hope this box room is in a fabulous area, because at least that might make it reasonable. But for instance, you couldn't bring anyone back to your house, there's nowhere to turn around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were like, yeah, you earn this much a year, here's a mortgage. And there were loads of properties. Whereas now it's like, there's fuck all places to buy that are cheap. You see all these new developments going up in London. And I mean, you see them, they build these huge tower blocks and there's always pictures. A new place to live in the sky seems like something out of 2018.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's all companies buy them, foreigners buy them, yeah. So where do they have, where the fuck do people live? Now they have to live in a box room, and they have to sleep above a toilet. Like that's what we've been reduced to. So maybe, when I was saying that the lives of modern people are better than that of medieval serfs, maybe we haven't changed at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, apparently, I've read all these articles saying that that would be dreadful. And that we, how dare we? Because what about the sandwich makers? And I'm thinking, you know what? I think people would love to be able to actually fucking buy a house. You fuckers should have seen this coming. Maybe if you hadn't just allowed, uh, Chinese companies to build tower blocks everywhere and sell it to Russian lads, uh, people would have someone to fucking live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you go into, have you ever been into like one of those new build houses, like those estates?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not building for the modern human, I think. They're building for the medieval human. The tiny people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the future, lads. We don't have clothes. What we have is a paper suit that is printed for you by a 3D printer that prints with recycled materials. Every morning. So at the end of the day, you take, you rip off your paper suit, put it in the recycling thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I suppose one of the reasons I have things, I've just, interestingly enough, I just got an email from Google giving me my Google timeline for the last, you know, it's just updating me. Hey, you can check out where you've been. In the middle of July, in the middle of July, there was a week where I didn't leave the house for four out of five days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well look, here's the thing, if it's a competition run by SMEG, the oven makers,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this was like four years ago. And it was as we were getting the kitchen redone, she won this competition. They were like, where do you want the oven? And she was like, holy shit, like, can you wait like a couple of weeks? They were like, yeah. So they held onto it. We had to redesign things to fit this thing in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it broke, uh, for the first time. So four years of everyday use, and finally the element, the filament at the back gave up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's basically, it looks like, you know, inside an electric kettle, you've got that big ring that just gets really hot. It's literally one of those and then a fan blows that air over the food. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. So the guy turns up, Anton, he says, uh, this oven sometimes you have to get behind them to fix them. If so, the big oven is going to be tricky. I was like, well, let's, let's hope. And he's fiddling around with the screwdriver and he turns to me and goes, we are in luck, my friend. We can do it from this side. I was like, great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't mean that I had some kind of attachment to the element at the back of the oven that was like, you know, it has sentimental value or something like that. I just, it was just throughout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think, I guess it was like I'd said, in his mind, I'd said, oh, well, it looks like the world's over then. Life has lost all meaning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'm telling you, see, Mrs. F's old job used to involve a lot less actual sort of like, like now her job is much more involved. Yeah, no, literally, it was a lot of progress buzz.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are so paranoid. Where has this come from? You don't live in a down, in like downtown El Salvador or somewhere. Like you're not surrounded by murderers and kidnaps. You live in Jersey. It's like super low crime, super safe. This is so typical.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's Hyacinth bucket, but she says bouquet. Yeah, yeah. And she looks down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's it, you can't win it if you ain't in it. That's my motto.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what got me about those 90s sitcoms is the audience was always much, much older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you could hear the audience was like old people and they would always howl with laughter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get up and they have breakfast so early that I've just barely drunk my tea. I have no interest in food. Whereas now the kids have no tight schedule. They're sometimes having breakfast at like 10, which is more my kind of time to eat something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'll eat as well. Where sometimes, most days, I'll get up, take them to school, come back, and I won't eat until lunchtime. And I might just have something to eat. Like I generally eat less when I'm just on my own in the house, because it's like, I'm just lazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like everybody else is pretty much, you know, you've got different computers running different operating systems, right? And that's all the different people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lewis is like some weird piece of technology that no one knows quite how it works. That's Lewis to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It has a very specific set of drivers, and it's just, you know, I mean, it's a good piece of kit, don't get me wrong, but uff, you don't want to get under the hood. That's all I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you have all these lockers that are coded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? And so you never have to interact with people face to face. And you would have some kind of system where they pay you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, online somehow, dark web, I dunno, whatever. Once the money's there, you text them a code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And on a burner phone and that code unlocks one of the lockers. Like you just say lockers so and so this is the code. Your drugs are there so that there's no zero face to face and any kind of sense of, uh, tracing stuff just goes, just snap the phones at the end of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you want to remove yourself from it as much as possible. Obviously you'd have to put the drugs in the lockers, and the police could just camp the lockers, but you'd just use different places, different locations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apart from it's a very, very, very thin man came in one day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was listening, Sips heard just before we started recording, the theme tune from the film Midnight Run.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is a Robert De Niro and Charles Grodin movie from the 80s. And it's on Netflix at the moment in the UK. If you haven't seen Midnight Run, it's a great movie. It's very 80s, but Robert De Niro is genuinely excellent in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's, it's funny and it's got goofy action sequences in and it's one of those sort of caper movies. Uhm, and I love it. It's one of my favorites. It's got a really good cast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And some good performances. And it's just, it's just a classic. It's just a classic movie. And it was weird because I often go into this hole where I look at the filmographies of actors. And I do this on Wikipedia quite often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when I look at Robert De Niro, he sort of, the movies he's made, some of them are so legendary that they almost overshadow a bunch of other films that he's made in a way. So people think of Robert De Niro, they think of Deer Hunter, they think of Raging Bull, Goodfellas, Taxi Driver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, stuff like that, uh, Casino, Heat, uhm, really really top movies. But then he also made Midnight Run, like in between Angel Heart and Goodfellas, he made Midnight Run, which is this kind of goofy movie that you wouldn't have necessarily associated him with. Uhm, and then straight after that he went and made like Cape Fear and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, it's weird because I look at his career, and he veers between doing very deeply serious movies, and then doing kind of, he'll do a few goofy funny movies, and then he'll go back to deeply serious. And I wonder if there's a balancing act going on, in someone like Robert De Niro's head, where he's like, ehm, I don't want to be known as a comedy guy, because he did like, analyze that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It got me thinking about Bill Murray's film career. Because he started off obviously on Saturday Night Live, and he made meatballs, and he made, uhm, some really bad movies. He tried to make a film about Hunter S. Thompson, which was a disaster. Then he made Caddyshack, which was a huge hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then they made Stripes, which wasn't such a huge shit, but it did okay. And then he kind of stopped making movies for a while. He was in Tootsie as a bit part actor, and then two years later, Ghostbusters. Biggest movie of the 80s, I think. Yeah. Uh, huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he makes four movies that year. Three of them I guarantee you've never heard of. Nothing lasts forever, you ever heard of that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was completely derailed by him. I think he wanted to be a serious actor. And it's so weird because he's obviously a comedic actor. You can't look at Bill Murray and not laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in the same way that Robert De Niro veers between doing lighthearted movies and then going back to more classic De Niro, serious stuff, all Bill Murray wanted was to be a serious actor and his early choices in film show that he wanted to be serious, he wanted to be taken seriously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He didn't get nominated for Oscars. This was, this was like, I start looking at old Academy Awards, like 1979 or something like that, and I'll look at what won and what was nominated and what didn't make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well we, my friend, my friend Lee did one, he did it on Sunday night, we all tuned in for that. And it was slightly different because I think it was a really smart idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a series of almost like PowerPoint slides. So round, round one, and all the questions come up at once and they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which Lego figure is this meant to be, for example?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's no talking over each other, there's no, what can you repeat that, that kind of thing. All the questions are right there, and when everyone's finished he's like, everybody done? Okay. And then he just clicks a button and all the answers are revealed underneath and we all mark our own. And then give our marks at the end of the round. It was really smooth. And it was good. Really cool. Much better than...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You drive, you'll go past them all the time. Like they still got the front, the same front, and you'll also go past them on the train sometimes. You'll go, and you'll go past a blank station. They're very eerie for some reason. I think anywhere that was meant to be busy and is not busy is inherently


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you gotta find someone you're not gonna hold up traffic. Like, you'll often, I mean, I know when they made, uhm, Midnight Cowboy, all the street scenes in that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We shot, they weren't closed streets, uh, all the time, like they tried to close some streets, but there's a very famous scene where a cab almost hits Dustin Hoffman and he bangs a cab and he's like, I'm walking here, I'm walking. That cab had just gone through the closed road sign and just fucking caned it straight through the chute and they just carried on, they used it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you'll often see shots of actors in New York walking around. And there's like hundreds and hundreds of people going about their day. They're clearly not actors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because if you think about it, if you wanna, if you come up with a script, and it's a good script, and they're like, yeah, we definitely wanna do this, like, okay, one problem, uh, we kinda need London to be deserted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it must take so long. And think of the pressure as an actor. They're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what you could do now is just go out and film that stuff if you had a good camera. Just take loads of shots of empty streets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my friend's, uh, my friend's quiz had a round that was all named the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cops, like the names in these buddy buddy cop action movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, the problem was, for a lot of these movies, I know the movie, I know the actors, but I'll be damned if I know the names of the characters. Like, everybody knows Riggs and Murtaugh from The Weapon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What were the names of the cops in, uhm, what's that one with Jackie Chan and, uh, Chris? Rush Hour. Yea, Rush Hour. What are the names of the characters in that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I had that problem with Game of Thrones, where I didn't know, I recognized the actor and the character and I was like, oh it's that guy from that other thing, but I didn't know his name, like at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, if you get bored, there are a ton of videos of people just slagging off the last couple of series of Game of Thrones and going into detail. Some of them are very funny. Pointing out stuff at the time. I mean, I don't want to get into a big Game of Thrones chat, but there's no denying the last couple of series went seriously off the rails.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's hugely insulting to the audience. I mean, it was a phenomenal show. It was a phenomena. Everybody watched Game of Thrones. I know people have no interest in fantasy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, but my issue is, there are lots of talented writers out there. It's not that difficult to take what you've already been given and find a nice resolution for it. That is coherent. Like, they do this with shows all the time, where they're like, these are the characters, we want you to write an episode for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea that when I'm 70 or 80, assuming I get that far, that I'll be able to talk about how much things have changed. Because that's the only real record you've got is personal experience. That's the only, I mean you can read about these things, but you can't really ask questions of data. But if someone is sitting there and you can say, what was it like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before this or that. I, I, I think that's really interesting. So I, I, I know I probably come across as boring when I talk about the past and maybe we all do. But I, I personally find it fascinating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think sometimes it comes across as, you don't know how good you've got it these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but that, that, if everybody else gets a special interest question, and one, one question for one person is like, what do you call a backstabbing bitch who I fucking despise? He'd be like, wow, this guy's real specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? I have been playing probably way too much Path of Exile, but I'm really enjoying it. I've been really enjoying playing an action RPG again, and I think Path of Exile is really, really, really good in the sense that it's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like my life is sort of like, like waves, right? Like I'll have these waves where like, I'll be really into something and then I'll sort of come out of that and then not really have anything that I'm into. And that's like a low point. And then I'll start gradually ramping up towards getting into something again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'll like peak and usually peak is me screaming in the middle of the night at my computer because I'm so mad and frustrated at the game, which then leads into like another dip where I'm, I'm not into anything, but like my whole life is like that with games, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can have builds, right? You can build yourself to be tanky or like, or like, it's, it's like a, it's a, it's an ARPG, right? But it's a roguelike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to say something about this, cause I was, I had you on the other night, uhm, you were playing Tarkov and I was just playing some POE or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, I looked over and I watched for like a solid like couple of minutes. And when I'm playing Tarkov, I feel like my reaction times aren't too bad and stuff. But if I were to go back and watch my footage, I'd probably...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it's, it's unbelievable though, but I, I would be the same. If I look back on my footage, it would be the exact same. And I think it is that we're older, right? You just, you do lose that, that reaction time. It's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have, uh, speaking of reaction times though, children have a, uh, like a delayed reaction time as well, right? Cause like, when you, when you tell them something, it takes like a solid 10, 15 seconds for it to actually sink in. Like their brains are just like going faster than


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like reality can, can allow for sort of thing. So like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they don't. Not physical reactions. No, like if you threw a ball at a kid, uh, they wouldn't even move. Like it would just hit them right in the face sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess that, and it comes from the parents, it has to, right? Like, that kid has been fucking playing football with his dad, going to football matches with his dad, like his dad is just like, molding him into like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This man wished only to see the sea one last time, but he could not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you know what, you can, you can have like lots of like, uh, you know, blocked arteries, you get heart disease and stuff like, you know, even if you're super healthy, like your diet is a big component and all that too, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe he was just fucking eating like, you know, bacon for every meal every single day and it just caught up to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The worst ones are like, you hear, like, don't get me wrong, I think having like, um, you know, like a family history of like heart attacks and stuff like that is, um, is, is worrying for sure. But the worst ones are, are, are families who have histories of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew, I lived across the street when I was growing up. I lived across the street from these, these two guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And their dad was like, he was like, this is the eighties, right? He was just like this old school blue collar worker, right? He worked like three jobs. He was never home and smoked like a chimney. And just like when he was home, he was just like fucking yelling and angry all the time because he just worked so much and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one day, one of his jobs was he worked at a gas station. And this is back when you had full service, right? Like they pumped your gas or whatever. It was in the paper and everything. He was just putting gas into a car and he just fucking dropped it. Like right there. Like just no, no warning, nothing. Didn't, didn't, didn't tell anyone he was feeling off or anything like that. Just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just keeled over and it was, he just, he'd had a, a, a, an aneurysm. He just said, like, that was it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, basically. Yeah. But similarly my, um, my boss, when I was working at the bank, uh, like when I was programming at the bank, uh, my, my sort of like, he was like, well, like our team leader or whatever, he was in charge of like, uh, like 16 of us or something. Um, he was just like sitting down one night watching TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And his wife was just like sitting there and looked over like, cause something like funny happened or whatever, looked over at him to, to like, you know, laugh and say like, Oh, it wasn't that funny or whatever. And he was just like staring blankly and she's like, what the hell's going on? And he, the same thing just had an aneurysm and that was it. He wasn't, he wasn't fully like, he hadn't fully passed away at that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they kept him on like, uhm, on life support basically. He was in a coma and they thought that maybe, you know, uh, he could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always know mine isn't dead, cause when I finally stroll up to bed at like fucking 3 in the morning or whatever, she's always like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because our kids are still small, every once in a while it'll be like, gosh, one of them's been up or like one of them had to take a shit in the middle of the night or so, you know what I mean? Like it's always like something, right? So like there's never any.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always got on really well with her, I was really close to her growing up and everything, and uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I moved and then things just like, there was a whole bunch of stuff leading up to like, just like before I moved where she was like clearly uhm, she, you know, having some like episodes and stuff like that. And then it just sort of progressively got worse and then she was put into like a, like a retirement home, like she wasn't really,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She, at that time she didn't need like full care, like full time care. You know, she was like, she was alright to be left alone sort of thing. Uhm, and you know, she didn't like need a nurse on hand or anything like that to help her with like day to day stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it feels like it's like a typical kind of, it wasn't like a bad, bad dream, but like I was scared in my dream sort of thing. And I actually woke myself up cause I was making some weird like, you know, like hooting noise or something. Like I was like going like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was in this like field that was surrounded by kind of like big trees or whatever. And I was, I was streaming. I remember just like joking around like with chat and stuff saying like, oh, okay, watch this. Like I'm going to, I'm going to pretend I'm like angry or something like that. And so I was like stomping around this field, like pretending to be angry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like doing the, like it was like, it was like something out of Monty Python, you know, I was like doing like this, like silly walk or something. And like, I had my pants hiked up and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, like in my mind, I was like, oh fuck, I'm hilarious. Like I'm so funny. Like my stream probably love this right now sort of thing. And I'm, so I'm stomping around this field. Then all of a sudden I feel like this, this sort of like almost like a hand on my back, on my shoulder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like as I was walking through the trees, and then I kind of realized that like the tree was grabbing me like by the shoulder, but then quite violently by the shoulder, like holding me back. And I started like panicking. I was like, uh, uh, uh, and then I woke up, I woke up in my bed and I was going, uh, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was just like, what the fuck? Where does this shit come from? Like, I can't remember the last time I was in a field. Like, where the fuck does that come from? You know what I mean? Like, why a field surrounded by trees and why is a tree trying to grab me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to get me to stop doing this stupid Monty Python routine that's like maybe not too funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, okay. And the tree, the tree grabbed my shoulders, chat, trying to say, we don't want to watch this stupid game, you asshole. Can you play something a little bit more relevant or like, uh, you know, like maybe some, uh, phantasma?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, I love games like that, but you know when you're just like, when you're playing like one thing and you're into it and that's all you want to play? Well, of course you guys know that. It's shitty when it's a game that doesn't really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do well. Like, you know, like there's certain games that I can play on Twitch where I'll have a lot of viewers and I'll feel like, oh, this is great. You know, like I'm glad I'm playing this game that everybody seems to like, or that I get more viewers because of, and I don't even really care that much about viewers, but it's just like, I don't know. It's the nature of this whole thing, isn't it? You do sort of look at that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it always feels a bit weird when you play something that isn't as popular, but that's what you really want to play. You know, it's like a, I feel like it's an age old thing with all this, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's, I think it's again, like you talk about the ebbs and the flows and stuff like that. I think that it's all right every once in a while to just play something that isn't necessarily popular, but it's something that you want to play because it just leads on to something else eventually, doesn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like an age old thing though, taking advantage of elderly people, taking advantage of sick people, like, there are some real assholes out there for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think that, I don't think they ever think about it. I think that it's just a means to an end for them. Like maybe they just like, I don't know, like, like, I think oftentimes people who, you know, scam people, take advantage of people have like problems with addiction and stuff as well, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I like to think that most of these people, well, I don't like to think, but I think that like most of these people don't have moments of reflection. They're either just like in the middle of satisfying this urge or need to be horrible to people or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I took my son to the, uhm, to the, like, it's over here, it's called the German Underground Hospital, but they've renamed it, they've, they call it the War Tunnels now, cause I guess it sounds better, whatever, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jersey was occupied during World War II and during the occupation, which went on for years, there was a lot of like, uh, social trouble, right? Like, uh, in, in, in that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the allies invaded France, Jersey was cut off then from like the Nazi supply lines, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so these poor people had to live with the occupation. They had, you know, all these soldiers over here. There was like, they ran out of food. There was like, there was nothing like making it to the island because the supply lines were cut off and stuff like that. And as a result, people started going crazy. And there's all, it's interesting because there's all these old letters that they've found.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of people, and they're kind of like poison pen letters really, because it's people, it's people just ratting on each other, and it's awful, and like doing it for favour as well, right? They're like, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I thought you should know that, uh, Reggie from number 10, uh, Downing Street is, uh, is all of a sudden flush.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With bacon. And, uh, it's a little bit weird that nobody else has any bacon in this town. And I did see him speaking to Nazis down the alleyway one time as well. Like, it's just, it's just people like being really fucking petty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, squealing on each other for like all these stupid little mundane things, hoping that, you know, somebody will be like, oh, you know, good spot. Thanks for letting us know here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like that level of, I guess desperation that just brings out like the worst in people or whatever, but it's really interesting. Like you always, you think that like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're kind of sold like, you know, in, in that era, you know, like the resistance and everybody band together for the common good and stuff. And people are just shitting on each other like all the time. Like, you know what I mean? Like they don't give a fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's clever that they do that though, because for the, for the couple of people out there that refuse to obey or whatever, it doesn't work on clearly, but it does work as like a glue for like kind of the rest of decent society, right? Like, cause a lot of people will just sort of be like, oh, better turn off my lights, you know, like that's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just not with me, okay, because I feel like I am, I'm a very unique snowflake with really unique hot takes on that aren't part of like the herd mentality or whatever. And, but I'm fragile enough where if you question me on what I believe in,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or at least what I say that I believe in. Yes. My only defense is I would have to start screaming at you because I'm dim. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One man, one man and his poison pen letters managed to do all of this, to wreak all of this havoc. So let that be a lesson listeners. If you're out there thinking of doing a poison pen letter yourself, don't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love how like, sort of strictly regimented like everything was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so fucking stiff. It's so fucking stiff, isn't it, but it's great. Man, it's so fucking funny, holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always the advertisements, like some website or something. It's always like create your own website for next to nothing using shitspace.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want my advertising to be like fucking death metal, screaming and then the messages


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are all cultural programs that Americans will not understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still have one. I don't. My computer doesn't even have one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got a disc. Man, okay, they got, they have a disc from like three years ago of this thing called the Battle of Flowers over here, which is basically a parade, right? It's a parade where they, they make floats out of flowers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, it's this like age old tradition over here or whatever. That sounds quite sweet. But anyway, there's a DVD that they release every year with like the latest one or whatever. And it's just footage of like the floats going down the road with like some music playing and shit like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and for some reason my kids love it. Like they fucking love, they watch that shit over and over and over, but there's nowhere, there's no other way they can watch it. Right? Like it's just on a DVD, it's just like on a disc. So we still have a DVD player. Like just for shit like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, didn't Ardman had a big, uh, uh, thing like similar, like one of their prop warehouses burnt down. All the, the original wallet and grommet, like clay figurines and stuff were all lost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I still have a subscription to Final Fantasy XIV. Okay, I've had this subscription for like a year, and I played that game for like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We actually are. Oh god, it's the worst. Hey, you know what? You know what film I bought? Okay, I bought three films recently. Try to guess which ones. Bought? Oh, you bought three films. Yea, I bought three films. Cause they weren't available on any streaming services, so I bought them on iTunes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gentleman Bronco, but I've also bought Menace the Society, Boys in the Hood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most recent Twin Peaks series, you know, the one that was, uh, that they, the, the, the, the current one, like the one that came out 2017.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think Twin Peaks is about the limit for me in terms of like spooky weird stuff, you know, like it has its moments. It's not, the whole thing isn't spooky and weird, but it does have its moments sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was watching, uhm, just like, briefly I had, uh, it on, but I didn't realize what it was, uhm, I had to ask chat what the movie was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think it was it too, possibly. But he was like, there's like some kid and he was in like, uh, in like, uh, you know, like a haunted mirror, uh, thing, like at a fair or whatever. And then like this clown appears and they like, he's like licks them the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. There's like, I remember my friend read the book when we were like in high school or whatever, and he said it was like pretty, pretty weird, pretty graphic. There was like lots of like weird like sex shit in it. It's really weird. It is. Like for me, for me his best books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is nowadays I find sometimes they try to crowbar too much movie into the movie, right? Agreed. Like, and we're in the age of docu-series, so like, you've got like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't, you can't get away with it anymore. You can't fit like a really complex story into two hours anymore. It just doesn't work. And even then, they used to write movies better a long time ago, so they could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, almost fit, uh, you know, uh, uh, a complicated story into two hours or whatever. But like, just make it into a series if it's, if it needs more detailing than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't watched any of these, uh, surprisingly. Normally I've watched stuff, but I haven't watched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, it's been really great though. I haven't watched Sopranos since like maybe 2005 or something and I've forgotten so much of it. It's like watching it for the first time again. It's been great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck me, I was laughing so hard. I don't know if you remember the episode where, uhm, uh, Tony is, uh, is accused of going off with Adriana, you know, um, Christopher's fiance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He starts to like notice that these people are just like trying to kiss his ass like constantly sort of thing. Like he makes these dumb jokes and that's where the slow motion Paulie thing comes in. But yeaah, I was laughing because Christopher comes in and he's fucking furious, right? All these guys are laughing and he thinks that they're laughing at him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, what's so fucking funny? Like, what the fuck are you laughing at? And that, and that Vito, you know, the big guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like saying like, ah, they're laughing at my dick or like my dick size or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, fuck me. I love the, I love the part when he's like, he's trying to get with the, with the therapist, you know, like, you know, he goes through those couple episodes where he's like, you know, he's trying to really appeal to her and say that he loves her and that he just needs her and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they have that sort of like showdown where she's like, he's like, you know, why, why won't you go out with me? Why won't you give me a chance? And she sort of starts saying like, well, I don't agree with your morals. I don't agree with how you live your life or whatever. Just the sudden outburst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mum, my mum always stays with us. She's, she's come up, I'd say, I'd say four or five times a year for the last 11 years. Sure. Because she's on her own. So if, the last time my parents were in the same room was in my wedding at 2001.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and my stepmother was there as well. So that was kind of all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were obviously under a lot of stress at that time, and uhm, obviously I'm not going to name any names or anything like that, but they've sort of ended up-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's all, I mean, obviously these are, these are, I'm not saying that when I have someone I don't really know very well stay, it's immediately comfortable and I'm some kind of relaxed, you know, like you said, some Mediterranean, eh, of course, you come and stay at the house, eh, you know, that's not,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's someone I don't really know, uhm, then it is kind of awkward.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, you know what, maybe it's time to, to let some of the rest of us try and, and see what the issues are. I think that might help. Cause I have no idea, like I, I always imagined.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, wait, wait, I just thought of something. We need to explain what this all means. So just in case there's people listening who maybe don't know what the jingle jam or the humble bundle is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Jingle Jam is an annual month-long charity fundraising series of streams that the Yogscast do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the Humble Bundle is a pack of games that you essentially purchase with a charitable donation. Those games, you get all of them and the money goes to the charity fundraiser that is the Jingle Jam. That's just so you guys understand where we're coming from with all this. Was there a trade in the background?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see, so now I understand the analogy. So you see, you have a good date one day and a bad date next week, one day you get lots of responses, another day you're not, so you're up and down, your mood is swinging, up and down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like handing a glass of water and saying this needs to get all the way to the end. And you know, your motivation to hand that water further and further down the line without taking a sip or spilling some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is lost, and by the time you come to the upper boss, you've got a guy who's not motivated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, uh, the Tinder dating. How many Tinder dates with different people would you say you went on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's do part one. How many Tinder dates would you say you went on? Because I know a friend of mine who used Tinder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And went on a bunch of dates, and never spoke about it, because I get, you know, you don't want to say to everyone, I mean, first of all, why would you email your mates every time you have a Tinder date? It would be like, I guess it would be fairly constant updates and not very interesting. And I don't know what you're looking for, affirmation there or something, like the people are saying, go for it, like how many times can your friends say that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I mean, they don't want that to be the impression. But it is, like, Hannibal Breast said, it's just an app where you use it for geographical-based sex. Like, that's it. It's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But can you imagine, you'd see someone on the screen, you'd be like, they look nice, and very pretty, and you'd swipe, and then there they are. Like, you've magically summoned them, and then you can have a chat with them and maybe even sticky dick in them. Like, that's pretty, that's pretty awesome. That would be exciting, I'd love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go and collect this money, go and rouse these guys, go and burn this bar, but it seems like it always very quickly turns into...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a bit where he goes to a bookie and he wants the money and he goes in and he goes, Hey, you got that thing for me? And he goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Tony, I thought you was laying it. Thought I was laying it? I ain't laying it. No, I want my money. And he's like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I don't know what, I don't understand. You know, and suddenly he's like, how about I put your fucking head through this fucking glass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, okay, okay. And he takes it out. He goes, oh, you just fucking had it right there ready, huh? I was like, it's just literally the guy's day is going around and collecting money that people owe him or lending it to people and saying like, oh yeah, get it back to me whenever you can. Then when we play, where's my fucking money? Like smacking their heads and stuff. What a life. That's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's interesting. And it works. It almost created a culture of gambling and money lending, but then they, like you said, they take advantage of the people even that are within that. Yeah. Like people within the mafia owe money to people who are further up. Of course. And they get clipped. Yeah, they set them up, they steal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well that was one of the big things in Goodfellas and in the book especially was that the, the mafia is essentially, it's almost like the authority and the police for people that are essentially corrupt and criminals. Yeah. So it's a way, it's essentially, let's say I'm running a real,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm running it with a bunch of my friends of the mafia and we borrow money all the rest of it to get it and it's a pretty shady joint and everything or adjourn all that sort of stuff. The whole point is if I have a problem I can't go to the police. I have to go to the mafia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they have a set of rules. So it's like, it's essentially a framework for criminality. And so the bookies can run their, you know, legitimised by the mafia because that book, that bookie,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. And if you go to them and say, look, I would pay you guys this week, but these five guys are not paying me their debts. Then they're like, okay, we take care of it. They go to these five guys and they collect the fucking debt and then they get their money, you get your money. That's the framework. Like that's the reason it exists.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you don't wanna put those businesses out. You want that bookie to keep earning. He's a good oiner. You know, and he's gonna keep being a good oiner. I don't wanna, you know, we wanna keep an eye on him. So they just wanna make sure that you're not stiff in them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was just the rules, isn't it? Like if you have rules and a chain of command and everybody understands those rules, even if to all of us, and I would hope everyone listening, you would think, I could never do that, that sounds terrifying. It's, I mean, if you're going to be a criminal, at least there's some rules and there's like an understanding of what's going to happen, what's allowed, what's not. And because of that whole made man thing,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is when I was in the States. Some older friends, they're not my friends, they're like family friends. And they all worked very senior corporate jobs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they've retired subsequently, but this company had like a corporate whistleblower.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Had come out and said to the press or to the authorities like, this is fucking disgusting and illegal and you need to do something about it. And the company got in big trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember all the people I was chatting to about it, it was like three or four of them, like older, like I said, they're like my parents age sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, I don't know where companies get this idea that you're actually meant to really like them. You know what I mean? That being, being working for a company means that you're essentially now part of some family and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't turn your back on them or criticise them or question them because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How could you? You know, we've deigned to employ you and now you want us to treat you decently? Oh my god. I can't even look at you right now. It's like what the fuck? Like any company I've ever worked for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who do you think, they're gonna, they're gonna fucking fire him. They're not gonna say, oh, we couldn't fire him. No, no, we like him too much. Like, no, no, sorry, we need to make some cuts. You're gone. They don't fucking care. There's no, there's no loyalty from the company to the employee. Why the fuck should the employee have loyalty to the company? I do not understand it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you wanna demonstrate loyalty to your employees, good luck. And that's awesome. And I think that's how you actually build loyalty in employees. And if you're just gonna fucking pay them the least you can, give them the minimum benefits that you can and then be amazed when they're not happy and wanna leave, go fuck yourselves, companies. You know what I'm talking to!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think one issue a lot of the time is that uhm, just like, it's not often that you get an author or a director whose career spans


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Games, games, if you think about it, uhm, I know that- I think it might be the difficult


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, look at, I mean, if you look at, look at bands as well, how many bands' first couple of albums were like, amazing, and then nothing they've done since then was really particularly good. There are so many bands whose first album was amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And those little things become the focus. Whereas when you're starting out, the focus is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just get smarter about those fine details of life. And I think, well, definitely, when I was in my 20s especially, I did all kinds of dumb shit. I was really unhappy. Like I had some great times and I enjoyed the complete absence of, like at the weekend I can remember sleeping until like fucking midday sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember that thing your, your, your mom would always say, get up, you're wasting the day. And you'd be like, yeah, I mean, that's, it's mine to waste. Uh, don't tell me to when to wake up. And then you realize when you were grown up, it's midday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you basically saying, let it, let the chips fall where they may, everything will work out in the end. Everything does end up where it is. No, specifically does not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you open with the line, are we gonna have sex at the end of this? Is that a good thing to open with?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand, all this flame is coming my way. Oh, we're going to need to get some better pictures done, period. Cause, you know, you're a big troublemaker, you won't get any matches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to, join the academy, you spend a year as an academy member, you get 10 free lessons with the pro, you can play any time you like, after 1pm in the week, 2pm at weekends, in you come. And I was like, done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Signed up then and there. Bought a set of clubs, they're sitting right here. I went to the drive-in range yesterday, near me. What kind of clubs did you get? T-t-titalist? No, no, these are just links. It was, this whole set of clubs was 300 quid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a full set. And I thought that was actually pretty good, for something I'm gonna use for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where did you buy them by the way? I bought them from the pro shop at the club to support the club. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good morning everyone. Hello and welcome. It's a two degree celsius morning here in Deep Bristol. The sun is low on the horizon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, he's, that was the, in fact, when we met, those were the first things. He leaned in for, we had a handshake and Sips grabbed my hand and leaned in. He said, keep it tight and fresh. And I thought I'm going to remember those words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ju- it's like one of the- it's a very- it looks like a thick book, but it's actually just two very thick pages. And on one page it says tight, on the other page it says fresh. So you need to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the home of the big banks, isn't it? Of the biggest banks, uh, in America, and therefore probably by extension.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean apparently there is like one blockbuster store left in some remote place somewhere, I think, in either Canada or America. Apparently. Uhm, I don't know if that's true. I saw an article or a video or something on the internet. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm just guessing that's the way you could stay alive would be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is where people post pictures of their horrific losses, and sometimes it's mind-boggling, and also their gains, and sometimes that's mind-boggling too. And there's all kinds of memes there and stuff, it's kind of a crazy place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never invested and uhm, I probably wouldn't because I think it is, it is a little risky. But even I might get a little app and uh, you know, chuck a hundred bucks on there and uh, if they're, if they're going after a stock, why not? I mean, they've driven the price of GameStop up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over, like, I think 3,800% or something like that. Like, it's just going up and up and up as they're all buying. And because the share price is going up, this is where it gets difficult for these short sellers. So you've got these hedge funds, which are basically gambling institutes for wealthy people, and they've got billions of dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, a short position is when I say, like, one of the things you can do with short and long positions is, I'd buy some shares from you, right? Let's say Sips has some shares. Let's say Sips has a thousand shares in GameStop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I borrow those shares from you, and I say I'm gonna give them back to you, uh, you know, in three months time, uh, you'll get your thousand shares back, and for letting me borrow them, I'm gonna give you a little bit of money. So you say, well, they weren't doing anything anyway, and I'm gonna get them back, so no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you give me your shares, I give you a little bit of money. I've now got those shares valued at $3, so I sell them immediately, because I think the price of the shares is going to go down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I sell the shares at $3, the price drops to $1 a share, I buy back the thousand shares and I keep the difference. And I give you back your thousand shares. It's not my fault they're now worth $1, I just have to return you 1000 shares of GameStop or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the short position is that they're saying we, we, we owe a whole bunch of people shares in GameStop when these short positions come due.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And give you back your thousand shares, and I keep the difference in profit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem is if those shares go up, I still owe you a thousand shares and I now need to buy a thousand shares for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I'm returning to you and that might end up costing me money. Now normally the spread wouldn't be that big, but because of what's happened with Wall Street Bets, all these hedge funds that had short positions on GameStop, when they bought these shares at fuck all, like they got them and sold them at fuck all,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now they're worth like hundreds of dollars per share, so they're gonna lose billions. And a lot of them have had to close out their positions and buy the shares. And because they have to buy these shares to then give back to people, that's more shares being bought, so the price goes up even more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, and I think that's where the biggest problem for people comes in is that now Wall Street and a lot of their defenders and buddies are complaining because it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeah, but manipulating the market is wrong when other people do it, because a lot of these short positions that these hedge funds have, they'll then go and get their media buddies to say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, GameStop is fucked. The share price tanks even more, and their short positions come good. Like, that's, that's a thing that happens. And I think it's interesting to me that this subreddit, WallStreetBets, is not. They're not manipulating the media, they're just basically saying to each other, this is what we're gonna do. And committing to holding on to these shares, and watching the price go up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not the same as going to your buddies at CNBC or whatever and saying, uh, hey, uh, we're, we're, uh, short on GameStop. We think it's really going to go bad. And they just go, oh really? And they go on there, oh, short position on GameStop, GameStop's going to go bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but, but this hasn't happened before. That's the thing. I don't think this is ev- this is, this is a new thing that banks have had to deal with. People outside of financial institutions organizing something like this. It's never happened before to my knowledge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But imagine, but imagine if those guys are gambling with other people's money, and if they go bust, the government. It fucks over a lot of people, yea. Yea, so their money is like, tied up in people's pensions and houses and jobs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if they lose, they just go to the bank, aka the government, and say, we lost all our money, and we're important poker players. They say, well, have some money back. That's, that's the kind of poker game it is. And I think that's what pissed a lot of people off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See now as much as you guys, I like sips of saying yeaah, doesn't get it and has no interest and far from what you'd be concerned with when it comes to this WallStreetBets stuff with GameStop. When I look at Factorio, to me, it looks like someone has just spent


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's that level of just ludicrous, getting every hair out from between every floorboard, uh, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but I'm trying to put it in terms of something I know I hate doing, which is cleaning. So it's just like, it's just mind boggling to me when I see, I'll see, I saw, I think maybe it might've even been a trailer for Factorio where it's zoomed in on a little part of a factory and then it slowly zooms out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what I like in gaming, uhm, is the chaos and trying to make it through the chaos, the random events, trying to respond to changes and things. So for example,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason I think I dislike Factorio is because it's about creating this order and it's all very perfect and, and everything, and I, I just, that's not me at all. I'm a very chaotic, badly organised person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we get some weird thing happening that's unpredictable and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I-I love that. Like I-I-I- My favorite kind of gameplay is like the kind that emerges from a fairly simple setup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Rimworld, and then the layers of stuff that you add on top add complexity, but there's still this very lifelike random event coming out that sort of, you know, changes things. I like that. Rather than predictable, methodical, almost like chore-like, like you said, tidying up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a game, to me, the equivalent to doing your chores would be Factorio, where you can plan it out and be maximum efficiency. Some people love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Christ. And then the next is CS GO with 750 hours, then Tarkov with 630, then Rust, and then, unbelievably, Blood Bowl. But I've realised where that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there's no achievement if you've just got a billion rubles and you're a full hideout and there's no quest to do and nothing. Like, what's the point? There's no scoreboard or anything, so it just becomes pointless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they keep talking about stuff they're gonna add to talk of. You know, you know, the weird relationship between like, people that are playing a game and the devs is that you kind of trust them to get why everybody likes this game. You read about some of the plans that games like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soon we're gonna add so-and-so and everybody's like, oh my god, please don't do that. So, one of the things they're talking about is adding traps to the game that you can plant, like, I don't know what those traps would be like, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Presumably things that explode and wound you. And I think that would be disastrous for the game. I think it would be really, really unfun to people just planting mines and tripwires and stuff around the place. And some people are like, oh no, that sounds like quite fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's also issues like, they call it Pika's Advantage, and you can watch clips of this all over the place. A lot of the time the person who's running at you and being super aggressive, you just can't hit them. Like you're shooting and they're just, if they're moving, the hit detection is so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are a lot of big streamers that stream Tarkov, and I think if they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy just like, one bangs, he's like, what the fuck is happening? Like, what's happening on screen is not what's happening behind the scenes, and that's frustrating. It's what you expect. And also, like, in CSGO, you expect that holding an angle is gonna have some advantage, cause I'm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really, genuinely very tense firefights in action. It's a very pretty game. The sound design is incredible. There's so many sound effects, it's incredible. Uhm, the weather effects and everything. I mean, there'll be bits where, as a sniper, I'm watching an area, and the cloud cover changes, and that means I can't see, or then suddenly the sun comes out and you can suddenly see a lad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, oh shit, the sun came out and now I can see him and, and now I shoot him. And so, you know, little details like that, that are really, really immersive. Um, but then I think Nikita is the head game designer and sort of the guy. He keeps saying things like, we want to add gun jamming into the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, bad usernames, you know, abusive language and stuff like that because there's a log and presumably someone somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just get pleasure from cheating. It's, it's, that's all it is. Like, they love it. And you see videos of, uh, I know that there was a guy on the talk of subreddit posted, he got into this cheaters discord, which sounds like hell, and he was in there and played with them and he filmed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And recorded all their audio and everything like that. And they just went on to labs and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's my question, right? There's loads of famous French actors in the show who are big in France. And they're like, I thought they were actors playing actors, but they're the actual actors. And if you look them up, they are actual actors. So their talent that they get in and that they are representing are actual


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The agent suddenly in comes, I dunno, Tom Hiddleston or someone like that, you know, or whatever. Uhm, so that's quite funny, but you miss out on that because I don't know who any of these actors are. Right. So I'm, some of the jokes might be about the fact


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh look, can you imagine if, uh, Hervé Geoffray-François said this? Ahaha, you know. So that element of it is lost to me. But it's clear that there is a French film industry making films just for the French.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And lesbian vampire killers with, I think that was James Corden or someone like that. Like I'm talking about, I'm asking people to just give me examples of films that were made in Britain, didn't go outside Britain, much the way the French did. And obviously in France there's a difference is, it's in French. So a lot of the movies that are in French, it's not gonna, you know, people don't want to watch some tells. I get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For Britain. Like, this would not translate. Like, Sips is saying. This would not translate outside Britain. People just won't get it. We may try and sell it over there, but where are the films just that are like so UK-centric that they would never sell internationally? And I think that French Film History makes films for France.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the big one at the moment, the Masked Singer, it's South Korean. Oh, is it? Oh, so what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The funniest thing about watching Masked Singer is that my kids don't know who any of the celebrities are. None. Not one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right, but what I'm saying is they'll just give us the American show. We don't feel a need to remake it. The Americans feel a big need to remake it. So by the way, Dragon's Den was based on a Japanese show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Especially, or if they do have parking, it is city hotels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like he didn't even like put it in like a bit of kitchen roll or anything, okay? And he was like, smell this. I was like, I don't want to smell anything that's just come out of your pocket. But anyway, so I picked it up and it's like one of these Yorkshire tea biscuit tea bags that they've been talking about that tastes like custard creams or whatever. What? Just give me a cup of tea, fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea of it's like, it's like, imagine you, it's a cup of tea where you dip the biscuit in and it, and it breaks apart and you get all those scummy bits in the bottom, but you don't have to do that anymore because the tea just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a technique that's very comforting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fine. I was talking to Harry this week about how he had, uh, a build around and he started slipping into local, you know, uh, local draw, you know, local Bristol slang and stuff, you know, because you want to seem like a normal everyday kind of guy. Not a me Lord.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The movie just, it's basically like made me realize that the TV show was just like you said, it was all censored in Melon Farmer and like so, but so much that it came across as a kind of hokey, soapy kind of dark comedy. I didn't think of it as dark and Sips and everyone always refers to Twin Peaks as dark and I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's got that light-hearted 90s sort of soapy background, it doesn't feel as, and then the movie, it's the first scene, there's like tits everywhere, Laura Palmer's got her baps out in every scene, it's like people, like, it's much, much more


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were snorting it in every hole and it was, it was quite something. So I watched the Twin Peaks movie. And then I watched Twin Peaks, the missing pieces, which is the bits that got cut out of the movie. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, she's, she's sort of spiritual. Yeah, she's just sort of in tune with the forest. And so she's actually, she's one of the rare characters. So in the, in the sort of David Lynch style, the maddest characters tell the most truths kind of thing, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Homeless people, believe it or not, are like really good sources of like, they're really good like sources of, of getting, getting criminals. Cause there was that case, wasn't there, where the guy robbed the bank, do you remember? He hired people on Craigslist to come and like hang out outside the bank and he, there was a, the, the money van pulled up, he grabbed the money and ran off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he came along and was like, oh yeah, what are you doing with my stuff? And the homeless man broke down his number plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love how Sips is trying to make a mafia family and like adopt these like kids and make them into


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't even have accomplices, cause everyone can't- any-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, like, no one could keep a secret. Like, if you've told more than one, I think maybe one person could keep a secret, but if you've told two people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no way that secret's gonna stay secret. Like, everyone's gonna know. This is how these crime criminals all get got. They have their little gang. One guy gets drunk and tells his girlfriend, then she tells her mates at the pub, and everybody knows then, and the whole town knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems to be like, for me, it seems to have to be like the whole, you have like the onion router, whatever the onion, I've never actually used the onion browser. I understand that it's like an encrypted encrypted browser though where you can look up drugs, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I sound like my dad, um, right now, but I understand that you can buy basically anything. You can buy prescription drugs, you can buy legal drugs, you can buy fucking pre-rolled weed sticks, whatever. Weed sticks? Good heavens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so first of all, no one is gonna, there's no, that's not, there's no chatting, right? They just mail it to you in like a sealed package. I think that's the way to do it, just through the fucking Royal Mail. That's how they got that diamond, the world's biggest diamond back to London, didn't they? Do you remember we talked about this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they found it, they were like, they cluck-charted a ship at a private like security firm to like bring it back on the boat. But that was all just a decoy. They actually just put it in the post. Amazing. You know, and it just went through the normal postal system and got back to London just fine. You know, I like that. And that's how we should, that's how the drug, drugs should be done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, but they're always one step ahead, you know, the drug dealers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dogs are lovely. I saw a thing the other day of a dog, um, cause daylight savings happened and there was a dog expecting a walk at daylight savings, you know, ready to go, very excited. And the owner was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, it's another hour, the park's not open yet, we can't go for another hour, and the dog's like, just has no idea. Uh, cause there's no way you can tell that, you know, there's no way you can communicate through dog language that the park's not open. My heart fell a little bit for that, that pupper, right? Because you gotta think, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope the owner just played with him for an hour or something. Do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's old though, like she's in her 70s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say- I find it funny but rude as well. Yeaah. What about number 2? I need a number 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you, do you have a toilet? Or kind of very, like, uh, kind of, like, not directly approached?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I love that though, like that, that, that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like desperate politeness kind of where you're just trying to work around. But that's one of the things that got the uhm, sort of Japanese and Korean sort of pilots into trouble because they're, they found that, I've talked about this before, but like their politeness got them into trouble because they wouldn't tell pilots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What they would like, there was like a, they were overshooting the runway or there was, I don't know, something like that. Do you know what I mean? They'd be like, oh, that runway is looking a bit far away, isn't it? I wonder whether they built that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They wouldn't tell, they wouldn't. So they actually were kind of given like training to be direct, um, and standardized. I think they all speak English now as well, which, which is more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that helps them be more direct, you know, because it's less...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like I really like, or I really like, like realistic dialogue though. Like sometimes, you know, something, stuff, stuff is so stilted when you watch it. You're like, this is, this is not too fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've watched, I've watched that relatively recently. It's very good. It's a very, very famous, it's one of these movies that always hits the top 100 movies or whatever you should, these black and white movies you should always watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The system of court, the jury, cause it's still almost identical, really. So many bits of it haven't changed in 70, 80 years. No, yeaah. You know. But it's interesting- Oh gosh, I think it's from the 60s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got, we've got, I think it kills two birds with one stone. And I'm all down for like those, those types of initiatives. Like I saw a thing this week where in Sweden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were dropping off like mail and deliveries and stuff with the van, but then in the back of the van, they would pick up all the recycling and I was like, what a genius. In one end, out one end, the van is always full. I'm like, come on, this is more, this, these ideas, we need these, these types of things. I'm just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are a hundred times crazier and more scary. And you want to get them on a jury. Well, I'm not saying we do this in America. Fuck it. America's fucked, dude. I'm not trying to fix them. They're on their own. They managed to get rid of old fucking Cheeto face. Thank God he's out the door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they dust themselves off, put them in a hotel room, get them in a nice bit, a lot of homeless people are actually just unable to get a sort of a start. Because it's so difficult to break that. And a lot of the charity stuff focuses on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, let's move on. Oh my gosh. So this podcast, by the way, is sponsored by ExpressVPN. Oh my gosh. When you use the bathroom you always close the door behind you, right? You don't want random...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You scared me. So I, I do, I, I, I use a VPN. Using ExpressVPN is easy as closing the bathroom door. You just, just load it up, click a button, and you're protected from prying eyes watching you poo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I have like, I have clothes scattered around the house, so sometimes for example I'll have to walk naked through the entire


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I don't know, P-Flex. Like, for example, if someone had to manage, if someone had to look in my, and this is the case I think in Sips' house too, like, just a casual delivery guy or guy popping around is not going to be able to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they get scarred by it. That's their problem. Do you know what I mean? I'm not responsible for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, no no no, if you're robbing a bank and you fall through the skylight and break your neck, that's not the bank's fault for that, right? Do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit short of it, Zips Lives at 17, Evergreen Terrace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's alright. Like, so, I mean, I think there was a time when I was definitely more protective of my nudity. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. When I was younger, I was for sure. I was very paranoid about like, even like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I think I'm going to be going in the sea or in the swimming pool, I'll just wear my trunks underneath my jeans for the whole day. Just so I don't have to change somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a good thing to have, and I think there is some element of giving low income families support to get into good schools, because once they're in, a lot of them do just as well, and it's a great leveler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there were some, I remember a couple of kids at my school were low income kids on scholarships and stuff and there was, were some programs and I hope, I hope they do exist still and do stuff like that. I'm sure they do. They have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's horrible, it's horrible, but also, like, such a kid thing, such a schoolboy thing to do, isn't it? Getting your head flushed at a toilet or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They form their little cliques, yeaah, like, and, and in order to survive, that's what it is, you know. This is so weird, like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shabbier your school uniform was, right? You wore it as badly as you could without getting caught, do you know what I mean? You'd have, you know, like loose tie, like shirt untouched, just like as messy as possible. It was the people who wore it smart that were the squares, do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was the mythical locker filled with copies of the daily sport that we had in our school. And if you were very lucky, someday someone would find the key, open it up and like, I don't know, pass them around and put them back in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a product of my environment. I had seven years in a boys school. Do you know this? Do you stare at tits?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I've really even like fallen out with anyone in a sense, do you know what I mean? Like, I've never really had an enemy in a sense or someone who I feel like they've...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, wronged me somehow, or done it. Even like, girlfriends that I've broken up with, it's never really been that sour, you know? It's always been like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, like it feels weird to, to have that level of drama in your, in your everyday life. And it definitely was like that with the girls that I knew from the girls school who were on the bus. We were all just so, I dunno, so much, much meaner to each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but, but it was definitely, it was definitely a zero to 100 when you're a, when you're a, when you're a kid, when you're a boy though, when you're like, you know, it's, it's almost like someone says something really now thinking about how stupid it is, you know, someone calls you some stupid name. It's a fake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And suddenly like, you go from zero to a hundred, you're like raging. Whereas I don't know if girls like, bottle it up, or like, kind of store it up, or I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have no perspective of what goes on in there. And it's like, we just think of it as this wonderful, angelic, you know, Harry Potter style place, right? Full of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It happened occasionally. But I'm sure there must be fights in girls school as well. Maybe it's just different. It's a mysterious world. We're never gonna know. Who knows what they're thinking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure I really even want to know actually. I'm quite happy being ignorant. I'm never going to understand women anyway. Well, then we're all very happy. 37 years. Maybe in another 37 I'll understand women. Ah yes. Finally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not down. Well, I am a little down. I just saw the Cadbury's Twitter had replied that someone, that cream egg is actually pronounced cram egg.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I d- I kinda feel like Weetabix with baked beans might work though, I haven't tried it. I feel like it's- Did you see the picture?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some, there'll be a name, there'll be a fucking name for phobia of beans, do you know what I mean? It'll be some dumbass, long ass name that someone's created. Leguminophobia, there you go, thank you. Is that actually, you've looked it up? An irrational, irrational fear of baked beans, yeah look here you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, man has crippling phobia of baked beans. Mr. Griffiths, it feels faint and gets shaky if someone puts the breakfast favourite meal anywhere near him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's loads of words that mean these sort of emotions, right? So I saw this thing on Reddit last week, it's like uhm, 23 emotions people feel but can't explain. Okay, okay. Right, right. What's one of them? Uhm, and so there's like words for them. So well, obviously, sonder, you might have heard of that. S-Somber? S-Somber. S-Somber. S-Somber.