[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got a neck there. Nah, he, but I've seen like videos of him like with kids and like he'll run back to home and stuff. I mean, and you got to know the impact he's having on that kid is because it's, uh, there's no one more famous, but it's crazy to be that famous. Like Messi, he's probably more famous than Messi.


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[Assistant] It's close, right? I don't know, but I mean, cause you gotta count.


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[Assistant] Everybody in soccer that knows Messi knows him. Now you gotta talk about the outside of soccer. I don't think people really know who Messi is, but Cristiano Ronaldo has been on commercials and you just hear his name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was into it. I was, I was thinking of something else and my brain was gone.


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[Assistant] By the time like, by the time 2026 comes around, it's gonna look like we should have it in Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's, that's what I would pitch in on this is like, you cannot pick us right now. And then in 2026, it's going to look like you should have. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you don't do this then, you do 20-30. We'll turn you down by that. 20-30, I don't know yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need you, so we can either, uh, you can either help, help us get to the level that we know we can get to, or you can, don't let us figure it out on our own or we will compete with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were burned quite hard to the ground. Give us the world cup in 2030 or you will be embarrassed. You have 24 hours. Nashville, a place you can drink. Yeah. Have you seen Broadway?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give us the World Cup. We won it on an off year. Even more. 24 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll give you 40 hours to respond. Yeah, until sundown. Yeah, until sundown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We like pickleball kind of, but I feel like we're going to love it. So either be here now and grow it with us. Yep. Or be our competition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get into it and I like start falling like some alerts on some guys and like messy and like, you know, it's like, all right, either these guys are wrapping their careers up. Maybe I do want to, I do want to see them play and that kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'd do it like that. It was like that with hockey at the beginning was like, I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, being like, alright, I watched Gretzky's last game. Cause it was like, I should be watching this. You know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a whole different like thing to keep up with. It's a whole different thing to keep up with. It's a, yeah, I get the Nashville soccer alerts on my phone. I get, I mean, it's, I don't keep up with anything like I did. Like there's, I mean, it's your, uh, it's very funny. You've probably noticed this with sports. Since you've had a kid, it's changed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I feel like you before would be like, why are we not watching it again? You would tell me this. And I was like, I don't, like cause you just lose interest. You were mean to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not that you're interested, you're not interested, but you're like, I'm not gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just have to, your priorities change. If I miss, you know, I try to watch all the games. If I miss a game, I'm not mad. If they lose, I'm not, you know, I get, I'm like, holy man, I wish, you're like frustrated like that, but you're just, you're busy. It is hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, is that it? That's it. Alright, I think we've covered soccer. World Cup, check it out on, uh, no, uh, yeah. Well, everybody cares on, uh, you know, times of the, whatever times. Tune in. Yeah. To, uh, cater. Mm-hmm. Qatar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. My stuff's all out. I'll show you. Keep an eye out. Uh, and uh, yeah. Being Huntsville next week at a arena, like a hockey arena. That's cool. I think it's- The Bron Bronson?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laura went to watch like a lot of concerts there and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You jamming out to that in the car on the way here? But I don't mind it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, alright, you guys ready for the last comic?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think yeah, they know, but they know me well enough to know I'm coming right back. You know, he'll get over it. He's just steaming a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to the NateLann Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you to Viori for sponsoring Nate Land. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at VioriClothing.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Barghetti, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber, Dusty Slay, and Hey Bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we pre-recorded this, if you're listening, uh, so you know. I'm in, uh, I am in, uh, got some noise going on out there. Uh, that's it. It sounds like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was fun. I'd like to drive one. It was definitely fun. Yeah. It was fun when they were like, go get the bobcat. You were like, okay. I don't, I don't remember really digging, but I remember moving it around. Yeah. And they allowed me to do that, which was nice. Yeah. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so if you're, uh, listening to this, I'm, uh, yeaah, I'm about to record my special, uh, in, I'm in Phoenix, Arizona at the Celebrity Theater. So I think this is, this is the week I recorded this weekend, so that's why I, uh, yeaah, I am not here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I don't know where you are at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can come hang out that whole weekend. Alright. What do you got that weekend?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah, yeaah, well a lot of comics, we're gonna hang out and have a, it'll be a fun, fun trip. Alright, I'll see you there. No, look at that. We're hanging out together. Alright. Dusty, you're dead to me. Yeaah. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, did they, yeah, I bet their people don't know if you're a singer or not, too.


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[Assistant] Uh, start off with some comments from you guys. Uh, Rebecca Gee, or Gee.


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[Assistant] I love Dusty and the dynamic of everyone. So fantastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The podcast has become a great method to determine if I'm taking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything in life too seriously. I know that I'm good if I just let the wild inaccuracies go and enjoy the conversation for what it is. On the flip side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, he's, that's how you should live life. You gotta just go, yeah. It's, that is the hard part.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of life. You gotta remember to like, enjoy the chaos and be like, God, didn't see that coming. You know? Exactly. Because it is coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and not even specifically talking about us, I'm saying like- Oh, just in general? In general, you could go, I didn't expect this to happen. Like you think, I don't know where I'm gonna be at in five years. That's right. Or like, you know, it's that kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, it's just the general rule of this is pure entertainment. So it's, it's, I'm not, we, no one's, I've come to the conclusion though that the people that think that it's nobody. And so when you address it.


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[Assistant] We talked about it. And everybody that is an active listener knows about it. And then the rest are like, you gotta quit, who cares? It's whatever's on social media, whatever they're like is saying, there's a point of going, it doesn't, I mean, it's, you're, you're, you can count the number of people. It's 10. It's 50. It's a hundred. There's 307 million people in this country. Like you just gotta be like, yeah, there's, it's nobody. It's literally nobody. And all the people that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's gonna do it. Everybody goes, I've done it.


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[Assistant] And you, you gotta look at yourself and just go, yeah, that is, I'm, I, I don't know why I'm not, I can't just enjoy it.


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[Assistant] I mean, Ryan saying that is great. Cause it's like, he realizes like, yeah, I gotta.


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[Assistant] Cause it's not like it's about us. Yeah. It's about, so like in life, Ryan's like the people that he's around the most, you're gonna be like, yeah dude, he can't. Yeah, I'm so fired up all the time. And if Rebecca


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron Langkamp. Sounds like they're making fun of you. Nate, every time you struggle through reading, it makes me feel good about myself. Just know that. I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's what we're here for. We're out here making people better. Making people better. They could be reading like me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] William Deacon, this podcast is great in the same way Inside the NBA is great. Brian is Ernie Johnson, constantly trying to keep the rest of the crew on topic. That's good. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is. Oh, it turns out you know everything about this. Really flipped the script right there. I don't really know who this is. I watch it every night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the lady who brought Dusty Candy in Lexington. Alright. Thank you, Jodie. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think we ever called it anything. I don't remember specifically talking about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I was, we were, we were still, I was still in a lot of that stuff. It's just, it's, it's, it's crazy to be pawning off a tablet and like, you know, and I'm not talking to you and you're not a child.


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[Assistant] Like that's the thing, you're not, the way you say it, I feel like you should be 11. Yeah. This was eight years ago. Yeah. Well, that's insane that eight years, you know, eight years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if this date was tomorrow, I mean, we would fly there in a helicopter. But right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That evening, or hopefully we'll watch the Tennessee Kits special, even though this is a very hard time for all of us. Nate definitely helped us get through it. Well, that's very sweet to hear. That's cool. That's great. Man, that's, there's poisonous grass. Yeah. I want to know more about this grass. Yeah. Yeah. Who put it out there? You know what I mean? Yeah. Check your local mayor's. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think HOA or something. You have to get them to come back in the neighborhood. Yeaah. You gotta bribe them a little bit. Yeaah, you gotta give them, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's outside of county lines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Are you in Davidson County? I am in Davidson County. We'll dig into this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think they throw it in your face. Maybe it's the recycling you gotta pay because that's not promised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, where, where's it, where's that bottle going?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think they, you ever go to the airport and you see those trash cans?


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[Assistant] Yeah. And it's like, and it's like recycle and regular trash. And then you look in there, it's the same, it goes to the same bag. So I mean, they're doing, they're that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brazen about it that they go, yeah, I don't, we don't even care if you know, this is the same bag.


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[Assistant] I don't even think they are either. Ben Shaw, I played golf with Barry Sanders once. Barry Sanders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And most, most instinctive fast twitch athlete of our lifetime does not translate to golf. He was a great player and the best guy ever, but took like a full minute over the ball. All right. Oh boy. Well, yeah, it sounds like stuff you would have been able to say 15 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if a bear came to fast Twitch athlete, it's also, you're like, I don't


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[Assistant] Oh, my glasses. I don't wear glasses. Uh, he is the, yeaah. I asked, uh, Rogan, and he said, it was embarrassing, it's good to be a bear, and he goes, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. He didn't entertain it at all. He's done full episodes. Yeah, yeah, he wasn't even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Willer Garrett. I am from Auburn, Dusty's neighboring town, and rival high school. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was at a game my freshman year at Opelika's stadium and a big fight broke out in the stands during which someone yelled, gun! That sounds about right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone fled the stadium and the game was canceled. We later heard that the person who was suspected of having a gun was found in Western Sizzlin'. All right. Is it Sizzlin' or Sizzler? Sizzlin'. That's where he worked. Yeah, he just worked there a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Western Sizzlin' after the game. This was the first and only time I've ever heard of Western Sizzlin'. I'm curious to hear what Dusty thinks of kids from Auburn High School and the Auburn Opelika Ravelry.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you have to be willing to fight. If it's just sweating the green beans, you just gotta know. I mean, I'm probably gonna get...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I just realized when we were down there, my wife's friend, Gigi, was here and they were, and it was like, we have a lot of Alabama here in this house right now. A little too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I handle one. I got it, I got, I got one under control. It can't be.


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[Assistant] Absolutely. The most worried about it. Yes. Uh, Spencer, I'm going to start, it's going to be my most worried. I'm not trying to make fun of it, but I think I'm going to just, it's a fun one to be pretty most worried about global warming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, but global warming is also climate change, I go. Just global warming. I go, you worry about what you want to worry about, I'm sorry I don't have the time to worry about multiple things. I'm focused on global warming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At a basketball tournament in high school, the locker room they gave our team was a creepy room in the school's basement with a single toilet in it.


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[Assistant] The whole team walking in and you're just sitting there.


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[Assistant] Uh, they gave, no, he said they gave our team. So he was on the team, but he's like, oh, let me just jump in there and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right, we did great out there boy. And then you're, and then you got to sit there and you're like.


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[Assistant] And then they don't leave. Dude, we had, that just reminded me. That's like an awkward, like you want to stop and go, Hey, everybody get out.


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[Assistant] Yeah. And there's almost, people are too uncomfortable to know what to do. So they try to act like it's normal and you, and it should have been like, all right, the coach.


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[Assistant] The coach has got to read the room and go, Hey, let's wrap it up boys. Let's go back out. That was, this is Spencer's not done. And he goes, there's bathrooms in, uh, by the concessions. All right, go ahead. Do what you do.


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[Assistant] I was saying, I hear people watching videos and you want to be like, you're not in your house.


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[Assistant] That's a hot song. You should play Lee Greenwald. Lee, uh, what's his name? Proud to be an American. Proud to be an American. I mean, you'll get people fired up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think everybody would sing. And I think they'd wait for you to come out and they'd shake your hand before you wash them. They go. You gotta have them wash them and they go.


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[Assistant] Yeah, American like that. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Thank you, sir. He goes, uh, I, I would put headphones in and play music and drown it out for me. I mean, I'm not.


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[Assistant] I know, but I feel like that's like annoying. I know, but I don't want to watch your, like, uh.


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[Assistant] I'll walk across the whole airport to find like the least...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've seen people do that. That's insane to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they just don't talk about the times that Jesus got in fights. Exactly. Uh, Senator?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, we're affecting, uh, you know, what senators do, what effect they have.


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[Assistant] My mom loves the Chick-fil-A cups because they insulate her soda better, but their drinks are more expensive.


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[Assistant] My parents aren't rich, but they definitely aren't broke.


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[Assistant] However, every Tuesday my mom drives to Chick-fil-A and gets a Diet Coke, then saves the cup all week long and goes to McDonald's to fill up on a dollar soda.


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[Assistant] Transferring into her Chick-fil-A cup. I only found this out because she once told me to be careful with her Chick-fil-A cup on a Saturday because she can't get a new one for a few days.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I kinda like it. I mean, I get the idea that it's insane, but it's like, you know, your mom beat the system and you wanna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like- I think I have a weird...


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[Assistant] I have a weird thing, I don't want your, a different soda inside the cup of a, like,


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[Assistant] Like, I don't even like, I don't even like if I have a McDonald's cup, I don't like to pour a bottle of Diet Coke.


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[Assistant] You don't? No. I'm like, it's a McDonald's soda, that's what I'm drinking when I'm done with it, I'm done with the cup and everything.


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[Assistant] That's what she should say. Senator Crawford should go, yeah, I'll tell you something about my mom. And there you go. We need to do that now with taxes. So what are we going to do? Take it into other places? Yeah. Grab it, save it, take it a little bit.


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[Assistant] I don't like, yeah, I like my, if I get McDonald's, I want a McDonald's cup. I don't want a McDonald's soda in a different cup.


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[Assistant] If I get Chick-fil-A, if I get Arby's, if I get anything, I want what's in the, I want where it came from. How often does that come up? More than you think, but. Where you're in multiple restaurants with other


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I'll, I'll, I'll drink out that cup, I like the ice.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I eat all of the ice on the plane. I've heard that. Why?


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[Assistant] I asked for the most ice, and I've heard that. Do you ever say the most ice? I'll take a good bit of ice.


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[Assistant] And then when I'm done with it, I give it back and I go, little more ice. I like the Crane Apple. I could drink those Crane Apples.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my goodness. They're, it's like cranberry and apple. I mean, it's. I figured that. Talk about it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. It's just sugar I bet. I've learned with like calories, like especially counting calories, you start going, you're like drinking your calories is just, it's, it's like, what are we doing? You can't, that just, you're, it's once you start having to, once you pay attention to your calories, you're like, your food's already going to go down and you're like, I can't be wasting this nonsense on, I used to drink so much of those on a plane.


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[Assistant] I've had, yeah, my, my, I think I have a much bigger food problem than I've ever even realized I had. But I used to drink these on every flight.


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[Assistant] I mean I would drink like 3-4 cans of them. And it's like, I mean that's gotta be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just the count, like, yeah, it says 110 and whatever, but I'm drinking of per serving, eight ounces. I think I'm drinking more than eight ounces. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It's, it's, it's a lot, but it's, man, that stuff is nice. Carbs, carbs. Yeah. Hey, this week we're, cause we're recording this special and this is my Saturday after the taping of the special. People come to the show, we're doing two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Not taping Friday, but I'll be running, I mean, LB as if we're, I'm running it like I'm running it that way now. But I have been for a long time and Saturday we're taping, but Saturday after that big cheat day.


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[Assistant] Big that Saturday and Sunday is going to be nice. Do you know what you're doing yet? Are you just going to shoot from the hip? I got some ideas. Uh, you're going to have a good source here. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying, you should stay. Bring in a professional. If you want to, you should, you should stay cause you should stay there that Saturday and then Sunday come and stay too. Cause Sunday's going to be a fun day. It's going to be fun. Uh, and I mean, it's, so I'm thinking afterwards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is maybe some cake, chocolate cake and ice cream, some along those lines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then the next morning, I'm like in between, like I want pancakes, you know, or French toast, but I also want donuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I might go somewhere and get some french toast and pancakes. Maybe they have a donut and then I'll, I'll do that kind of route. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You need to weigh in before you do all this. See how much I gain. I mean I didn't eat good when we were in Hawaii, and I mean I only gained like a couple pounds, so this will be like a day and a half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, I, yeah, I'm down. I mean, 30 pounds. That's great. That's awesome, man. And I'm trying to keep going. I'm going to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to go, I think my build is probably in the 150s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's funny is you realize your build, like I realize that's how much, like your body is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, you're, whatever size you are. So you're going to be as big as, like you're a big dude, but you're like never going to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're never going to be a 130 guy. I mean, you would look sick and it'd be, it'd be bad. And so everybody's build is how they are. So like even when I was at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My most, which I never saw myself way over 200. I saw 198.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so that was it. And then, so now you kind of go in like, all right, well, yeah, I'm not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'm 5'11", like I'm just not a, I'm not a big dude, uhm, uh, so my frame would be very small. Everything's our family, our whole, everything's very skinny on us except our...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is getting down though, when you first go, I want to get to a weight and I want to see what it is. That's the part that you're like, it's not, it's not fun to get in there.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, but you're gonna, you know, like when I was in Maui, you just, you don't, I don't eat as much as I did. And then you start knowing, you start feeling stuff more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to have fun and go do stuff. So it's going to be, you know, you just learn that your body like kind of figure out, but the hard part is getting to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so like- You're feeling it right now? No, no, I'm okay. Yeah. But it's- It's a relatively healthy meal. Yeah. We just had- Chicken salad chick. Yeah. Ah, I mean- I could take a nap. Uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chicken salad chick's great. Uh, I love it. I love them. It's so good. And then so, but I, uh, no onions in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like a lot of stuff. You don't throw onions in it, man. I'm on board. And, but like with that, like that was a big meal. I bet that was, uh, you know, that salad with, uh, I had the, uh, grape side and the broccoli side, which is, they're too great. I mean, I probably had to be,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that's crazy. Yeah. And that's good. That was a comment. I am playing in it. That's awesome. I didn't, I didn't, I'm seeing this now. So this, this is out if you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, I've- You already knew it. Yeah, I didn't, but yeah, that was like, I don't know if I'm supposed to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, I mean, it's like, I don't, I don't know. Me and Kevin both might get kicked off of American citizenship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I know, uh, yeah, I just found out. Oh, well, congratulations. There you go. That's awesome. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's the dream. I hope Jamie Johnson's there. Let me say something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jamie Johnson. Jamie Johnson. Yeah. Yeah. Singer. Singer. Yeah. Songwriter. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I want to surprise you. Thank you. Well, that is a surprise. It is a surprise. It's crazy to see this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I might have acted, like, I mean, I just, I literally got the email this week. I, I saw that last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? So I just, yeaah. Yeaah, I, I, I, I got it this week. Uh, which is, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have some Nightland stuff, uh, I need to wear it like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I did a cruise with Mutti. He kills. He shows a big flashlight and crowd, does crowd work. And I mean murders. Shines the flashlight on who he's talking to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, he's not like he's saying I want this or that. He's just like, I finally have some money in the bank. And like, you know, I've been doing it for this long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And supposedly, you know, it's like two clean, three dirty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never even have dirty material, so I just, it was all clean. And then, uh, but- You did cruises? Yeah. Okay. And then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You cannot come to every single show of mine. I, two of them will be different. The rest of them are going to be basically the same. So make sure you pick wisely. Don't be showing up every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thinking I have a new act. I mean, I just told them that because they were going to go to him and because he would have a new act.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, the whole podcast crew loves their Biore. We, uh, we all got a few new items to add to our favorites. Laura got the energy tee and the dash shorts. She wore it in Vegas. It was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is great. Sorry, it is so great. It is great. Viori's awesome. And, uh, I have their core shorts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that I've been wearing as I've been working out. They're great because you can work out and swim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I actually bring them as my swimming trunks. And so if you're going to do either, or you just wear them, I wear them out just walking around. I'm a giant fan of uh, Viori. Viori is a new outlook on performance apparel. Perfect if you are sick and tired of traditional old workout gear. Uh, Viori is an investment in your happiness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For our listeners, they are offering 20% off your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Vioriclothing.com slash Nate. That is V U O R I clothing dot com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Arizona. Type in the special. Celebrity theater. End of round. Uh, we're gonna talk about Arizona.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like they, that's like where the guys like, look, we're, we're lucky we have these guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that the, uh, is that how you would say it in a sentence? That'd be illegal, right? Or would you? Like if you say- Oh, you mean like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I thought it was more. I think the sun has to have all to do with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a different, the dry heat thing, if you, I mean, if no one's ever felt it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm freezing on an airplane, so I wear pants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I'm not a bit, I, I would say, I've wore shorts, like, five and four. I always think it's funny, cause it's like, where someone's going in their head, they dress for that at the place that they're at. So you see them, like, you know, they'll be like, uh, went to Hawaii, like seeing people, like, they get on a plane, they have a tank top. Or when they land or something, they're like, they have their,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever, they have their tank top and they're like, I don't know why dude, like flip-flops tank top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're like, you've been on a plane for six hours and you're like, it's freezing. Like, I don't care. If you're on a plane for that long, it gets chilly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, I picture a commercial. Like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know those questions like those old people, like get their lives back, whatever they take, like, you know, I don't know if it's, you know, something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Viori's great. Uh, yeah, Viori's great. Golf pants. I mean, like that's, dude, you're wearing these golf pants. I mean, I wear golf pants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everywhere. And it's like, I got some that are so thin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you could do golf pants, I would do that. Okay. You know? I'll try it out. Yeah, lay on some ice or something. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably the weight thing. Like they're almost like they're just making it worse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like some of that you want to go, they have to just, just one bend that has to go under.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I would think then they, they said they had to recalibrate, calibrate, is that the word? Calibrate. Calibrate. I think that's the word they used. And then, I don't know if I believe that. Did you give the guy the stink eye?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's what I mean, I don't think they do anything that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. He goes, there's a crack in the window. He goes, I'll hold it with my thumb. I'll pull that thumb right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The door's cracked, open already. Let's get a head start just in case, because I'm going to tell you what, we ain't making it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he should just go, we'll get back to you guys. I mean, that's going to be, uh, uh, you have to tell her what they have, then she picks and then they have to retell you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the whole time it looked like you were listening, but you didn't hear. And you're like, I didn't catch all that. I think it's in one of the things. Oh, and behind the seat? One of those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can look in the thing, decide, yeah. The snacks can be different though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Social aspects, it's like, we're losing that, which is just separate to everybody. And then you're like, I mean, the extreme version is like, then eventually you're gonna watch someone die in front of your eyes and not care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? The war started on Southwest!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. Well, speaking of wars. By the way, I love Southwest. So do I. That being said, I'm a giant. I fight Delta a lot, but I am a giant fan of Southwest. I really am. Dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's, I've used it. You feel the safe, their planes feel safer. They're always, they're always big planes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, for that, for you not to get a state and it's like, it's, I mean, 35 to 50 people, how many people die on a normal cruise? 30, 40? I mean, like, it's not that many, you know, it's, uh. But this is over, I mean, I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I was just curious what a word is. Like, is it like, is it like jawbucka kiki? Is that like how they go? Yeah. And you go, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, people are listening to this, so maybe don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that you hear those words and then you're like, it's over at Shiprock, Farmington, Bloomfield, Four Corner. And then like they don't go with, they're not even starting on the same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no? A redwood tree. I better just say them. Alright, go ahead. What about the Mississippi?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where the Christ the Redeemer statue is. Okay, yep. But why, why does that harbor the natural wonders? What's so, what's so crazy about it? I don't know. I don't look it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of shorts. A lot of shorts. Yeah. A lot of airbrushed t-shirts? Yeah. Is there a Southwest flight here or there? There? No, there's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've been, uh, can you drive up there? No, I was a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's what I don't understand. Like how, if the Smithsonian, who, who is the Smithsonian?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That gets to go, we don't believe it. Is that, are they allowed to do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but they go, well, Smithsonian denied it. You're like, well, can they? They're not like a country. Yeah. Well, give them the right. Yeah. Am I crazy or is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, you know, I didn't go, uh, yeah, well, I'd love to believe it, but, uh, Home Depot has a pretty strong stance that it never existed. You go, oh, I didn't know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that too, you want to go just show it. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The conspiracy stuff needs to just be like, it's either there or not there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that, it's the, it's the, it's the coincidence of like, why would you be talking about that stuff? And then you see it there, you know what I mean? Like you're being scared. I remember this. Uh, I do remember this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are those lights? And then they just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. So they started a drive thru window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I still would, I might still use what you're like, a, why I don't care. Exactly. And maybe it was, I don't know. This is somebody trying to make a name for themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it says how in Arizona McDonald's made it. I mean, the whole story is just there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Going off. There you go. God, how many mules I got. There you go. Mules aren't allowed on this trail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty cheap for a bridge, I would think. I don't know the, you know. I think 68. Much less a famous one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] London, London bridge is the bridge. Right. And then you're like $2.4 million. I'll take it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's too embarrassing to say I didn't find anything. Yeaah. That guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you wouldn't, you don't look at a pond and think a crater hit it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I mean, people are hanging out. It's a big pool. This guy had a lot of money. It's a big pool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy that figured it all out, you call him dumb, Aaron? Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I don't ever, they're like, this is going down. You're like, I need to know the con- like, the context of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, we get our water here, you know, or something like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they found dead bodies because mafia and they think Vegas. Maybe yeaah, or just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could have, you can just throw a rock on this side, everybody looks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty nice. Just showing you the time lapse video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What if he had to move? He's like, we're moving. I'm moving in the house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Otherwise they're saying you can only drink out of our cup the water, because you are then denying them the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't watch a game, but I watched, uh, Sonny was, uh, there and we watched like them practice a little bit. It was cool. I've been to spring training in Tampa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're always there, Mike Yashemsky, like the Vandy guys. I think that they might be there when I'm doing the special. Cause they're always in Phoenix around September. Like I feel like they're there. Wait, September will be still the season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all we played. Well, we had like, yeah, Goatsville, Maul Strait Park. That's where I played. It was Little League. They went to the, they went to the, uh, did they win? They won. They won. Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, I would think that it's like, I wouldn't think it's, it's like they started it and then if you're like, it's not like, I guess. I would joke a little bit, but I just wondered if.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was just going to say, yeah, I go, that's enough. Let's not. And then you were like, yeah, think, let me think. Hold on. I'll get back to it. Uh, wait, well Waverly County, Knox County, Waverly, Humphreys County. I just wanted to throw out this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that, well now that you share that after I did what I did, it doesn't sound, my part sounds bad. But, I agree. That's awesome. And I'm rooting for Waverly. It just, there was a moment in time in that moment. What if, by the time this-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I couldn't pay for them to go. And we're praising them. Wait, really? They're all in PEDs?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what they're called? PEDs? Performance Testing Drugs? Oh yea. Hey guys, Kid, Kid is 45 years old out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, best, like, famous. Yeah. Oh, uh, I would say Charles Barkley. Yeah, that's a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. All right. Yeah. I think most people think Seattle. Oh, we went to a football game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I would think it's, uh, yeah, Charles Barkley's gotta be. I mean, they might have someone else that we're not thinking of, but, uh, Steve Nash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I was number, he gave me, I did a show once, he was there, he gave me, he's like the mayor, he's like the son of Sacramento. Really? Mayor of Sacramento or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Try to get him to sign it. Uh, alright, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A few things have polarized, uh, the listeners as much as this discussion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one got pretty serious. As serious as a discussion about what to call a hat can be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty Slay's wife, Hannah, who's Canadian. I heard her call that once, but I, you know, who's calling that in real life? You didn't say anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I use context clues, I figured out what she was talking about.


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[Assistant] So if you're listening, it's 437 votes for Toboggan, 1,844 votes for Beanie, and then Toque came in last at 216 votes. Kinda probably read those wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I call it a beanie, but I hear toboggan enough that I don't even think about it. Who started the poll?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love the read, the different regional terms. They're really funny to me. I had a buddy in college from Wisconsin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, one day he was like, I gotta fill up my water bottle with the bubbler real quick. He was like, what are you talking about? That's crazy. Yeah. The water fountain. Bubbler. It was a bubbler. I've never heard that. And where is he from? Milwaukee. Yeah. Wisconsin. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A very small little region in that, in that part of the country that calls it a bubbler. Most of the country calls it a drinking fountain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've always called it, I've always called it a water fountain. I call it a water fountain. Water fountain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not always, if you're filling up a water bottle out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's your most vulnerable position.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say it the way everybody I've ever met in my entire life says it. You know what I mean? Until now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until now, yeaah. I mean, does it bother you that you're, that most people don't say it that way? Do you notice that? Are you aware of it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, just a half an inch, just a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a comment on Reddit that said, can somebody post a picture of Nate's 23 year old son? And somebody who didn't listen to the podcast was like, nah, dude, we should respect his privacy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the United States, do you think that there are more wheels or doors?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the, in the whole country. If you can add up all, including bikes, including everything, everything in general, more wheels or doors. Doors. You think there are more doors?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Lawnmower or something out there. It's got wheels. Think about all the wheels on, uh, Harper's toys. You got Lego wheels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is also, this also depends on how you define wheels and doors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's happening all over Twitter. It's all over social media. Oh yeah. It was the talk of the town a few weeks ago. I'm just late to the game here. I just want to hear what y'all thought. It would be, I thought it was obviously wheels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's 12, there's 12 wheels. There's 15 wheels in these, in these chairs the three of us are sitting on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, yeah, well, I don't think in this scenario you have to collect all of them in the country. Is it just a, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta think, you gotta think that every car, wheels win cars. So there, there's always going to be, at most it's a tie. At most it's a tie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because a lot of cars only have two doors, but they all have at least four wheels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's all part of it. Those are all, we'll count all those as doors. I still think wheels wins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the fact that Lego makes 100 million wheels a year has to make them a favorite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want to hear a crazy story? It happened this weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we have a buddy of ours, Steve Byrne, stand-up comedian who lives here in Nashville. He was on the road in Fort Wayne, Indiana with, with Joe Gatto. They went to an antique store and he texted me a picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of this, from the antique store. It's a baseball glove with the name Aaron Weber on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Written with a Sharpie. And he sends it to me as a joke and he says, did you leave behind a baseball glove in Fort Wayne, Indiana? And I said, no. So I took that picture, I sent it to my parents just to let them know, hey, isn't this funny? My mom goes, that's my handwriting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She used to write our names on all the gloves with a Sharpie like that. So that's why mom wrote my name on the Sharpie and my dad goes, that's 100% your glove.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In an antique store in Fort Wayne, Indiana, which we've never lived there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, here's the best guess my mom would come up with is that when they, the last time they moved, they had a box somewhere that just accidentally got left behind and then this got


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Donated to Goodwill or something like that. And it just made its way to, we've never been to Fort Wayne. We've never lived there. Somehow made its way up there to an antique store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. I remember this glove specifically. Oh wow. Now that I was like, oh I didn't have a mag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if somebody showed it to me, I don't know, just this whole story was so crazy. Do you want the glove back or do you want it to? I'd like it to round off this story. Like the fact that Steve was there and found it, we had just exchanged numbers. It was like a crazy coincidence that he was there and saw this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would have loved to. If you get it, we can put it up here. I'll make it happen. I will, I will find it and we'll end the story in a good way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Steve Verne got the glove. He brought it to me. I have it. I have my childhood baseball glove back. Where is it? It's, it's at my house right now. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you, how would you not bring it? Yeah, cause I came, I was in Denver this morning and I came straight here so I didn't get a chance to grab it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I didn't bring my baseball glove from when I was eight to college. So that's not where it was from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm glad, I'm glad we said that because I'm still getting a lot of messages people offering to go grab it for me. And I need everyone to know, it's been grabbed, it's back in my hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, can I, while we're on the topic of this, just to, just to put an end to this story. I know we're past the point of caring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I've got, this is the baseball glove. It's been brought back to me. I appreciate everybody. I'm still getting messages asking to go pick it up for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So I've got it back. Thank you, Steve Byrne for doing that. Thank you everybody for reaching out and asking about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Milky Way candy bar was created in 1923.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not trying to eat a meal at the candy bar, dude. I want the Milky Way. It's just nice and smooth. Caramel chocolate. It's the right texture. It's the right size. It's everything you need. It's everything you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got hey beer all weekend for people. It's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But people have done it before. People have fought off bears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say if the bear left, I mean, I saw the revenant that's based on a true story by bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got boxed out by some geese on a hike in Bristol, Tennessee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This little narrow passageway, this goose just stood there in the middle and just wouldn't let me pass and it took like 20 minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the juicier shake and bake. Barry Sanders could evade a grizzly bear. Yeah, I bet so. I bet Barry Sanders could tackle it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I heard. So I sat in the second show. I watched the whole thing. It was awesome to just sit in the crowd and watch. And I had a real out of character moment. The guy in front of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every joke you did, he would turn to his side and be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I would do that. Yeah. Like relating to all your jokes, but in an annoying way. Yeah. And I had a really out of character moment. I leaned forward, I grabbed the dude on the shoulder and I go, enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but you know, thousands of other people were doing that without conversing about it right after the joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if I just see a car, I see a car accident.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is how it's spelled. I've never heard it pronounced that way though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you're listening, what we've got on the table here is a tub full of water and in front of it we've got four different caffeinated beverages. Not necessarily caffeinated, but carbonated. Diet Coke, Coke Zero, regular Coke, and then a Pepsi Wild Cherry. Pepsi Wild Cherry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I think that the Coke Zero and the Diet Coke are completely suspended in these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If the bucket were deeper, we'd get a better illustration of this. So Brian, why does the diet float in them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying, okay, yeah. So are you going to ask Nate to make a pitch for Nashville?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's still very upset about the Notre Dame loss and he got out of hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give us that, yeaah. Dusty looks like every Greg Garcia character wrapped in wash. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it. Yeah. See if we can figure it out. We have a very tough standard here. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I could see it cause you're like, I can't. Justin Herbert probably helped too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 400 bucks. 50 bucks each. That's it. And two cushions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From Aaron's story about chastising a guy saying enough, that Aaron was in the very back up at the top. I'm watching the special, like third row up, there's Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Dusty, I apologize for that. I will work on that in 2023.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you mind saying at the top where we get these? Cause people are just emailing me directly now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty believes in Godzilla, but not dinosaurs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chris mccall pennies on grave and read what people do do that but i don't know with her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I assume it's with other people as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was too long to put in here, but I'll just tell you, John Bricato, who watches, said that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were trying to get more kids interested in the space shuttle, so they were working with Sesame Street to send one of the characters into outer space, and it was going to be Big Bird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you see him on there with other astronauts, you're going to know, what's up with Big Bird?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're a kid watching this, no, Dusty doesn't know a song about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you guys had em. Oh, so he didn't go because the costume sheer bulk and out of control zero gravity environment was part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I'll do it. Oh, looks like they're still doing it. I mean, it says Orion Test Capsule. They're sending Sesame Street artifacts.


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[Assistant] Grover's cape, the rubber ducky Ernie sings with, and cookies from Cookie Man.


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[Assistant] Yeah, she said she, this was like 60 years ago, she called her sister recently and said, we saw that, right? And her sister was like, oh yeah, that really happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She thinks maybe he couldn't go out and kill like normal big foots cause it was injured. So gotta go through some trash.


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[Assistant] Does ox mean with? A-U-X? With tomatoes.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm the one that made that accusation, so I'm sorry if that's not true. But I always, yeah, Jose Otoove, there's a scene where he's coming in home plate and everyone's greeting him and he like covers up almost like, don't touch it. You know what I'm talking about?


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[Assistant] And he still got cheated, I feel like, because when Mark McGuire did it, the whole country was watching.


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[Assistant] And he cheated, but now this time people barely even knew about it.


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[Assistant] I just went for my, uh, one year stroke checkup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looked like he was. Yeah. Uhm, but I guess they're staffing shortages everywhere. I've been to a restaurant before where they'll call your name and then they'll go ahead and call another person's name and take you both to your tables. I was at the doctor. This is at a hospital and the lady calls me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I walk up there, she comes out, date of birth, I give her my date of birth, then she calls another name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And another guy comes up, she asks him his date of birth and she's like, all right, both of y'all come on back. So now we're walking together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Down this long hallway, it's very awkward.


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[Assistant] Did you ask him what he was in for? No, but I mean, I think we're both looking at each other. Like, what's this guy's problem?


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[Assistant] Alright, so this is the end of the year.


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[Assistant] Last episode of the year we decided to do, uh, stuff we didn't get to in 2022.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so as we wrap up, you know, usually Nate said, are we good? And I was like, yeah, but sometimes I got some leftover stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so the first one I want to throw out was just from a couple weeks ago, World War II. So, World War II ended in 1945 when Japan surrendered to the United States, ending the war. There was a Japanese officer, positioned in the Philippines, did not know the war ended.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or he didn't believe the war ended. He stayed hidden, still on his post for 29 years after World War II ended.


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[Assistant] He didn't, he didn't step down till 1974.


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[Assistant] Now they try to tell him, they would drop flyers from the sky, leaflets, but they didn't, he didn't believe it. He thought it was a trick. Misinformation. To try to get them come out. Perfect. So at first he and his other soldiers hid out in the jungle. And then after a while, those guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The story about how he's found is pretty equally crazy. There's this Japanese explorer and he said, I want to go find three things. This guy, Hiro Anato, a panda in the wild, and, uh, a bonnable snowman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, I'm gonna start with this guy. After four days of getting there, he finds him. This explorer. Takes pictures with him, becomes friends with him, becomes buddies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he goes back to Japan, shows him like, look, the guy's still there. He's, he's really there. Cause they'd heard rumors, didn't know if it was real or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Japan's like, well, we gotta do something. So his superior officer goes to the Philippines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so then he finds him, so then he goes, finds a pen of the wild, then he goes to the Himalayas, says he sees a Yeti from a distance, 1975.


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[Assistant] Uhm, couldn't get to it. He got married later that year so his wife made him take some time off. Uhm, but then he goes back and in 19, like 10 years later he gets killed in an avalanche in the Himalayas looking for the Bonobo snowman. So people really believe there's an Bonobo snowman?


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[Assistant] Oh, he's like the, their version.


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[Assistant] Snow version. I feel like maybe Bigfoot's got a little bit more believability even than the bottomless snowman. Why's that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rams and mountain lines, they can get way on up there.


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[Assistant] Alright, this is from the, since we're talking about that, Animal Attacks episode. It's a favorite. So, 1985.


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[Assistant] This is another crazy story. In Knoxville, a guy found a body in his driveway. It was strapped to a parachute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy had like 15 million dollars of cocaine on him, uhm, a gun, all this kind of crazy stuff. The guy ended up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was a pilot from Lexington, Kentucky that was flying, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drugs for the cartel from columbia was a former.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, officer in that military knew how to fly. He was flying back and forth. He had to dump some of his load in the woods.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he was going to, I guess let his plane crash and jump out and land and get the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stuff. But he, his parachute got tangled up, he fell to his death in Knoxville. So now they're like, well now we gotta find the cocaine that he dropped. And they did some searching and they found


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Black bear found the cocaine, tore it to pieces, ingested the cocaine, and that became cocaine bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well in the movie, cocaine bear goes on a killing spree. In real life, he just overdosed and they found him dead.


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[Assistant] It's now on display at the Kentucky for Kentucky Fun Mall in Lexington, Kentucky, which will be at February 3rd, so. Oh yeaah. We'll go check that out. Check out the fun mall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now he circulated for a while, uhm, after he was stuffed, he got, somehow made it out to Vegas, he made it to a pawn shop, then Waylon Jennings bought him from a pawn store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so it's made the rounds, like Waylon Jaden's Jennings Oden for a while, but eventually got back to Lexington, Kentucky, and now it's on display at this fun mall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's like snakes on a plane. It's just to be over the top. Yeah. Silly. Alright. Would you see it? Uh, maybe, yeah. Yeah. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this is from the Aliens Part 2 episode. It's a very popular one. So there's a guy, wrote a book, Eric Londanken.


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[Assistant] He wrote a controversial book called Chariots of the Gods, and it's about UFOs in the Bible.


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[Assistant] Now Moses was led in the wilderness when he was wandering the wilderness. He was led by a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day. And this guy theorizes that that was actually a UFO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that the Ark of the Covenant was, they were communicating back and forth. That way.


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[Assistant] Well there was another theory, I don't know if it was in that book or not, that when Moses part of the Red Sea, it was the exhaust pipes from the spaceship that would, that blew it open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they part, they cross and then the spaceship took off, so the exhaust pipe, water comes back down, kills the Egyptians. I'm guessing you're not buying that either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think if you were one of the Israelites, but one of the slow ones, and you're trying to cross and the Egyptians are coming behind you and God's like, come on, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they would have just called me and put me back into slavery. Just finished out with the Egyptians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this is from the Missouri episode with Greg Warren. We didn't get a lot of Missouri facts because we started talking about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] High school wrestling and college wrestling, stuff like that. So the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, it's the tallest man-made national monument in the U.S. 630 feet tall. How wide would you say it is?


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[Assistant] It's uh, 630 feet. It's the same. Oh, I almost said that.


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[Assistant] It's the same as what? It's the same width as it is height. It's an optical illusion that makes it look taller than it is wide, but it's the same.


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[Assistant] It's from the Missouri Bureau of Investigations, the latest stats.


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[Assistant] Alright, Conspiracy Theories episode, which was our most viewed episode of 2022. Oh wow.


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[Assistant] This isn't so much a conspiracy theory, but I had it on the list and it's kind of funny. I thought I'd talk about it. So Terrence Howard, the actor.


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[Assistant] He apparently has given up acting. He's come up with his own, he calls it terriology. And it's his own math equation. He says one times one is not one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He says there's actually two. He's come up with a math equation to explain why this is. And...


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[Assistant] He's come up with a lot of other equations that he's figured out, like why are bubbles always round? There are no straight lines.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but he's kinda given up on acting and become this physics.


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[Assistant] He had a disagreement with the professor over the complex math problem, one times one. And he was on the red carpet at one of the award shows and went off on this weird tangent that nobody understood. But he's come up with his own


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's patenting some stuff, his inventions.


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[Assistant] On the red carpet, he started some, I mean, he was using words like, you can't even


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[Assistant] You couldn't mock him because it's like a crazy person talking. Like it makes no sense. A bunch of big words.


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[Assistant] This is what I was just trying to get to. You created your own path. I just figured Dusty's got something that's good.


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[Assistant] Were there people who worshiped numbers, like numerology? That's a thing. And you can kind of see like how you could get into that.


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[Assistant] Where words, you take them different ways, different meanings, different... Numbers are numbers. Numbers are numbers, and even if aliens came here, we might call the numbers something different, but they still know that two things is less than three things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dinosaurs episode, dinosaurs episode, another very, very popular, some people's favorite episode of the year, the dinosaurs episode. Oh wow.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, this just happened. So I didn't leave this off. This just happened. So now a lot of people are buying private investors are buying dinosaur bones.


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[Assistant] Christy's auction was going to sell one, I think maybe this past weekend, a T-Rex named Shin. S-H-E-N.


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[Assistant] With most of these dinosaurs, they do replicas of the bones that they're missing to make them full. And this one had a lot of similarities to some other ones, so they, so they took it off because there's some questions about it being a fake.


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[Assistant] So they would be like, would you know how much is real? How much is? I think they advertise it as 54% real, but then.


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[Assistant] Some other paleontologist, there was another dinosaur named Stan, and they're like, that looks a lot like Stan.


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[Assistant] And then they looked at the bones, they're like, I think those are Stan's bones. And they think they maybe made a plastic cast or whatever, whatever it is that they do.


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[Assistant] We gotta go to this auction. I'm thinking about Sotheby's, but Christie's is another one, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Yea. You clicked on Christie's Cookies? Mhm. Anyone? Anyone? All biscuits. Alright. Not bad.


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[Assistant] That from the dinosaur era that very similar to the birds we have today. So now they're.


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[Assistant] Saying, well, how does that fit in the whole evolution of dinosaurs to birds, if this bird?


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[Assistant] I'm throwing that out there for you Dusty. I'm sorry, say it again. They recently found a new skeletal remains of a prehistoric bird. They said it's very similar to the birds we have today as far as beaks and stuff.


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[Assistant] We gotta figure out how this fits on the evolutionary scale since dinosaurs came from birds. Or birds came from dinosaurs, excuse me.


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[Assistant] We all did. Alright, this is from the maps episode.


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[Assistant] There was a restaurant in Great Falls, Virginia named Serbian Crown. It was open for 40 years serving French and Russian cuisine.


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[Assistant] But all of a sudden they notice on the weekends, steep decline in their business.


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[Assistant] They eventually figured out that someone had hacked into Google Maps and said that they were closed on the weekends. And they think it's one of their competitors and they could not get back in to, uh, change it. Eventually had to close their doors.


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[Assistant] They think, uh, I don't know if they know specifically, I just read it as one of their competitors. Why could they not get back in and do it?


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[Assistant] Well, I think the, whoever got in there took control of it and then by, they had a long time getting Google to respond back to them to fix it. By the time they did it, they said it's too late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a woman in LA who went for a walk and got hit by a car.


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[Assistant] And she sued Google Maps because of the direction it told her to walk, which was not safe.


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[Assistant] Final lawsuit seeking more than 100,000, uh.


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[Assistant] She got hit by a car, but she said the GPS that suggested was dangerous and took her down some dangerous roads on her walk.


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[Assistant] This is from the, uh, artificial intelligence episode we did. Dustin Chafin was on that one. So scientists at Georgia Tech.


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[Assistant] Have come up with a artificial intelligence developed that can detect cancer, like bowel and colorectal cancer, by listening to the sounds of people's farts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this machine hooks up to you. It's called Synthetic Human Acoustic Reproduction Testing, SHART for short. And... Is it? Yeah.


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[Assistant] If you may have cancer, so they think it could save lives by AI listening to your farts and maybe detecting it quicker.


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[Assistant] Well, I'll stop there, but I wanted to say...


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[Assistant] I made some predictions at the end of last year, about this year.


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[Assistant] And uh, Leanne Morgan was on our last episode of 2021 and I predicted that she would record a special in 2022.


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[Assistant] She just did it. It's going to be out on Netflix. And, um, so I nailed that. I predicted for you, you're going to have a late night special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then for you, I said you'd meet Seinfeld, get to know him, become buds with him. It happened.


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[Assistant] But I got some predictions for 2023. Well, first of all, let me just say when this year started, you were maybe occasionally headlining.


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[Assistant] Clubs like a Wednesday night or occasionally and now you're headlining every weekend clubs, right?


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[Assistant] Dusty joins our podcast. He's now selling out clubs everywhere and starting to do theaters, right? Going to 2023.


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[Assistant] Well, I did it as Dusty, but yeah, you mean I mean a real.


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[Assistant] Anybody want to say anything about my hair?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mizzen and Mayne dress up with ease, any other dress shirt just won't feel as good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They combine comfort and flexibility of your favorite athletic wear with the fit and style of a custom dress shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you want the best dress shirts money can buy, check out Mizzen and Main. Right now you can go to MizzenandMain.com and use promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more. That's $35 off when you go to M-I-Z-Z-E-N-A-N-D-M-A-I-N dot com and use our promo code


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[Assistant] Nate. There we go. Look at us. Y'all did it. I get into ad rating. I like that.


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[Assistant] I mean, I aspire to be as good as Aaron at it though. I mean, he reads.


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[Assistant] You know, my favorite is the mayhem man from Allstate. That guy rules. I want that to be a movie, like he should be a villain in a superhero movie. He is in movies, right? He's a real actor. But I want his character to be just going around blowing things up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause you're, you're hurting the store. It's not like, like if you buy, uh, you know, some fancy clothing, you're hurting the store cause the store made a big sale and now they gotta take it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But even the individual store, you know, they still got a store manager. They still got numbers to hit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was gonna host a Thanksgiving at my house and then it didn't pan out, but I had already bought the oil. But I kept it for like 10 months. How much was the oil?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's gonna squeak in the whole time that I've. Oh. Since he's, since he joined the show.


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[Assistant] Really? That loud? Maybe it's getting worse, but...


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[Assistant] I bought a Carl Hart hoodie this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd come out of his shell. Is this Mike Terry from the Opry? From, uh, from, uh, serious XM. Yeah. Mike Terry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a great idea. I think I've, uh, talked to Christie Pickens about this, I believe. Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't know, but I've, I've heard this idea before and, uh, I think it's a great idea. I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it would be best if I were unemployed. Yeah. For the plot to make sense. Yeah. And you were a pro golfer. Yeah. I may be a semi truck driver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the hat on like that, you need the hat. I mean, that's not the pose, I don't think, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tim, is it Tim Robbins? I bet he runs like that president in Salt.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we've talked about that before. Cause that's all I mean. Uh, you think he's a good runner?


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[Assistant] Yeah, once you've completed it and seen them all, what's it called?


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[Assistant] I don't, I'm not good at names. I don't, I never will come up with them. Thanks for bringing the question.


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[Assistant] Dave Couye cut it out. Wow. Yeah, it caused me a lot lower than


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[Assistant] I think in the end it's mean though. Cause you're up there, you're going, wow, we are, it's really happening. It's really taken off. And then they go, nah, we pulled it together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if the story ended with, you know, like, and now that band is CCR or something like that, where you're like, all right, it did work out. What is that? You know, Credence Claw. So it's like the fact that you- Y'all call them CCR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that band went on to be Pink Floyd.


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[Assistant] There's some holes in this story here from Christian Graybrough.


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[Assistant] Well, I'll tell you what, we are loving Mizzen and Maine dress shirts. With how much we travel, it is nice to have a shirt that is wash and wear with no wrinkles. Comedians are not known for packing everything neat and we don't want to look messy with wrinkled shirts on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is amazing to not have to go to the dry cleaner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I stay on a first name basis with the dry cleaner because my shirts are a wreck. That's why you've got to check out Mizzen and Maine. The company was born when Mizzen and Maine's founder saw a sweat drenched DC staffer running into a meeting. He needed a refresh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what drove Mizzen and Maine to make the world's first performance fabric dress shirt. Ten years later, and they now make incredibly comfortable flannels, no tuck-in shirts, performance polos, chinos, and more, all the same performance fa- fabric they've become famous for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More, all in the same performance fabric they've become famous for. I got into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, they make really comfortable men's clothing that you need to try and believe. I can't read. I don't know what's happened to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, they make really comfortable men's clothing that you need to try to believe. Possibly the best part of their dress shirts is that they are machine washable. That means no more expensive trips to the dry cleaner. They've got over 30,000 five-star reviews, so you know it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you want the best dress shirts money can buy, check out Mizzen in Maine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now, if you go to MizzenandMain.com, use promo code Nate, you'll receive $35 off any regular price order of $125 or more. That's $35 off when you go to M-I-Z-Z-E-N-A-N-D-M-A-I-N.com and use our promo code Nate. There you go. There's a lot going on in that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Better than ever. Nothing like the Mizzen and Main ad to get me fired up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a friend that she told me that she didn't even think South Dakota was a real place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] North Dakota, uh, I've been to Devil's Lake, North Dakota, did a corporate gig up there, small town, lot of fun, very cold, very cold place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flat as you're driving, you just see kind of snow drifts coming straight across the road. I mean, it's, it's wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Music venue? Yea, Neil Young and Crazy Horse. They had a band together. Oh, it's a band.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So 90% of the skeleton, they said they've dug that up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it the skull? Yeah, skull's there. Is the skull part of what they said?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's why I mean the skull. Is the skull a one they really found?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is like comforting narrated by Morgan Freeman. So that's what makes it like, you can really, I mean, you feel like you're, you're like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bear, yeaah. The bison, you might get into throw it on its back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you're building a village and you got all these bison around, you're probably like, we do gotta get rid of these because they keep running through attacking us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like apparently Atlanta, that area used to be overrun with bears, like where that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, before there was a city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, when, when, when there's no, uh, civilization there, the animals are there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when you're like, well, we're going to start living here. And then bears come in and like drag your kids off at night. You're like, oh, we gotta get rid of these things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the, what's the animal that they have most? Bison. Bison? In South Dakota. What, what, what do you got? What else you got there animals wise in Dakotas?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I bet there's some ducks up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good point. I also think that South Dakota is right there with not being very populated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had, I spent like two days in North Dakota and Fargo. I had a great time. It was really fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean. The people nice? Yea, the people were nice. I don't drink, but I kinda did some bar hopping, eating some food, doing various things. It was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Devil's Tower or something is in the Dakotas? Or is that Wyoming? That's Wyoming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I like you guys. We should change the name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Get TV. Really tough for the satellites to get to em. They gotta put up big towers, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, well, you know, I mean, wow. Yeah. I mean, it seems like they would just, they're up there. They just come right down. No need for tower that big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a great celebrity that guy was. Bob Barker. Still is. Rest in peace. Happy Gilmore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just take a knife into the grocery store and just cut into the package right there in the store. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the most boring ones. Hubert Humphrey though, that's a fun name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would think that- Why? Why is that? That's gotta hurt the tourism industry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what that horse is saying. Excuse me sir, I'm looking for the file.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Cause they're going for these rallies. They're going to see Mount Rushmore. That's all South Dakota. That's South Dakota. North Dakota's got, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's tough. Maybe put that on a brochure. You could, that's tough too. Don't get too close. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a tough thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what Canada has going for them is they have a border that doesn't allow you to leave if you're born there. You know what I mean? You can't just move right out. If you're born in North Dakota, you'll go, I'm going to move to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, I, yeah, I mean, I, yeah, I try to not make fun of people. You, you're still upset about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, when I, I mean, it was so cold when I went. I don't remember what the date was, but it was like, I was like, wow, this is unreal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I enjoyed it. When I, when I was in Fargo, when I was, when I was in Devil's Lake, very cold, when I was in Fargo, it was summer. It was great. Bounced around a little bit, went to like an Irish pub and we did some like tobacco that you, uh, like they, it's like snuff. And, uh, uh, not for me, but I enjoyed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not really sure what we established by when this was coming out, but okay. So I'll be in Syracuse, New York at the funny bone. It's going to be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, rinse my mouth out. So I see this tube, what looks like toothpaste, and I just see the C. And I thought it was Colgate. And so I go like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I start to swish like this, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, first step is, put the toothpaste in. Second step, go under the sink, get a little water. I like that you go under, like, I mean, you get, you're like, you gotta swim to the sink. Well, it's like, it steps. You jump in it, you just hold your nose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then move, I do kind of swim a little bit, towards the sink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still today. I mean, it's been like, uh, it's been like five days. Two days of like serious pain in my first... They're gonna fall out. Not before. Not before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a regional in Pittsburgh and it's, it's not in the city, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Saturday, you know, a group of little people were like, let's go and see downtown Pittsburgh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this one girl, she has a new minivan. Alright? We're all little people. Her dad just bought this new, brand new, beautiful minivan. Accessible van.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, very expensive. So we go into downtown Pittsburgh and everyone's drinking, you know, and I'm not cause, you know, it's early and I was just tired. So the girl whose minivan it is, she only had like one beer, but she was like, I probably shouldn't drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I'll drive, you know, I'm fine. You know? And so now we're on the fourth floor of a parking garage that is on a very heavy, steep incline, okay? Fourth floor down. And so I get in, very confident, okay? I'm a good driver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I start the car and I, and I, you know, put it, I put my foot on the brake now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I put it in reverse. Now what happens is the pedal extension falls off the brake. So you have to, you put an extension on. So I drive with pedal extension. So it's like a regular pedal, but there's two extended bars that attach to the pedals. One on the gas, one on the brake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when I put the car in reverse, and I put my foot on the brake,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That girl, um, you know, I see her all the time, but a couple years ago, she's like, you know, we're still paying off for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grab your Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 15% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code Nate at checkout. Liquid IV hydrates you two times faster and more efficiently than water alone. That's 15% off anything you order when you shop


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[Assistant] Better hydration today using promo code nate at liquidiv.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was in Fort Mill, South Carolina last night. Did a show for, uh, at LifePoint Church for adoption agency. It went great. Met a lot of folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I just hit the, uh, the Wilford Brimley cocoon line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked about that on a previous episode. I don't think you were here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When Wilfred Brimley did the movie Cocoon, which is about a bunch of elderly people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was 50 years old in, however many months. So now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For celebrities or anybody now, there's a Wilford Brimley cocoon line when you hit it. Like there's a website that shows you. Okay. Great movie though, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know if I've seen the movie. I've never seen it. So good. But they, so. Tom Cruise was the first one to did it. Cause someone pointed out Tom Cruise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is 10 years ago, cause Tom Cruise is 60 now. When he hit...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 50 years and however many months, they're like, he is now older than Wilfred Brinley was in Cocoon. Which is crazy because Tom Cruise looks amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And since then it's become it's own thing and now you just track.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh. Oh, so I hit it three days ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he played an old man, and uh, he looks like an old man, but he was only 50 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I looked up an article that talked about blocks of wood that they put in some Snickers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it was supposed to have gotten out, but I think they did do it to test the wrapper for strength.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was way off on that one. We've talked about how that guy was a millionaire. Now, I looked up the article that I found it from. It did say $25, but the article was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wrong. I should have known in 1904, they're not selling boxes of cotton candy for $25.


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[Assistant] You know, I started thinking about it, I started to agree with Aaron, actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because uhm, to get a good standard average, seem like you just want one that's going to do it the same way every time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess the package is red. I don't think there's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kinda orange. No, Hershey's just announced that there's going to be a candy shortage for Halloween, because some of the ingredients supply demand some of the top candies. They're not going to have enough this Halloween.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now some people said they just made the machine to see if they could do it. It was the mechanical part of it more than the actually trying to get the picture of the Tootsie part.


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[Assistant] Uh, is he still alive? No, I don't think so.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I got a lot of people calling me out on that because I said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You couldn't kill a bear, but yeah, if God's on your side, then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like he was however many cubits tall, and I think it translates to like nine feet something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a story now in the news. I think it's monkeys that are like snatching kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I want to clarify, that's the name of the company, electric. A lot of people have said, stop saying electric e-bikes. The E stands for electric.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when Woody Woodhoffer would call it, we play in the SEC conference. The C stands for conference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a guy on one of our shows that Zany said it's not hot water heater, it's just water heater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of hot, the hot summer months are here and we need to be proactive about keeping our body filled and hydrated.


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[Assistant] Making hydration a priority can help us feel healthier in our everyday lives.


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[Assistant] That's why you should try Liquid IV. Liquid IV tastes great with 10 refreshing flavors like Concord Grape, Lemon Lime, Pini Colada.


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[Assistant] And my personal favorite, tropical punch, which I'm drinking here today. It's great.


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[Assistant] It contains five essential vitamins, B3, B5, B6, B12, and vitamin C.


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[Assistant] Uhm, liquid IV is on a mission to change the world for every purchase they donate a serving to someone in need.


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[Assistant] Today Liquid IV has donated over 24 million servings globally.


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[Assistant] Grab your Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 15% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code Nate at checkout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's 15% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code nate at liquidiv.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did calendars, that was a big hit. Right. We're gonna delve down a little bit further, go into some time. Do you guys, uh, know how many time zones are in the United States?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For just the stage, yeaah, it's 6. County, Territories, it's like 11.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some are on daylight saving time, some aren't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then it gets even cra- like, sorry, right now in New York it's 3.45, they're on Eastern. Here it's 2.45, Central. Denver it's 1.45, Mountain Time. But Arizona doesn't do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Daylight saving time. Oh. So in Phoenix, it's 12.45.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, whatever. Whichever one. Yeah. Uh, so LA, it's also 12.45 because they're on Pacific time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then there's the Hawaii Aleutian time, which is part of Aleutian islands in Alaska and Hawaii. So it's 10.45 there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then the main island of Hawaii does not do daylight saving time. So it's 9.45 there. So that's eight different...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. At the airport. He didn't make it. Yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah. There are uh, 24 time zones in the world. One for, evenly split up for the 24 hours in the day. But,