[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck you, Eric! And you're like, why are they having beef? And then two guys who aren't really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, or two dogs? Do you guys remember two dogs? I think that might have been a specific Midwestern thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two dogs is like, uhm, it was like a Mike's Heart Lemonade before Mike's Heart Lemonade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like the worm. Finish the bottle and be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well we can't get liquor this weekend, so uhm, we're gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like rob a liquor store or rob a, uh, a convenience store or rob a ride aid, uh, on Harbor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then just walk out and they had a security guard and he'd just be like, ah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or I would walk into the freezer section. Grab two cases and then just exit out the emergency exit. The alarm would go off and I just had a car there waiting for me and we would take off. That is fucking cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you always looked like, ever since I knew you, 18, I felt like you were my one friend and I'd be like, Kyle, you should go try to get a spooze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that, that was my move too. I had a fake ID since I was 16 years old. Uh, that, that was my name on Workaholics was Demamp because my friend Jason, he had the first, like the first generation, um, Photoshop. And so he could,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then I'd come in and be like, talk about the Huskers, talk about like the football or, or, or go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just be like, Jesus Christ, the traffic with the new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The housing over there, and it's, I mean, the, the, the traffic right there, all that construction anyways, and then I'd always like throw in right when I think you might ask me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that was the move. Also, I kept it in the plastic. Now I feel like 100% of the time they're like, take it out of the plastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't give them the whole wallet, I would just hold up in the plastic and hold it up to them and then look. And if they asked to take it out, I would just leave. I'd go. His wallet had the little window in it. Yea, it had the window.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you look like a gunner. You could be a gunner Torkelson though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So was I with either Kyle or Blake when I was living in Costa Mesa and we were friends and then someone told me


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, my Nebraska fake ID got taken away. And, uh, someone told me that I could get a new fake ID in, uh, on Alvarado Street in downtown LA. And downtown LA now is pretty gentrified, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's some sketchy places, but most of it is, is, there's just fucking, you know, fud rockers and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's all Staples Center. This is ringing a weird bell. I don't know what it is though. But I went down there, someone told me, and then I'm like, well, how am I gonna know? And they're like, just roll your window down and someone will stop you. And I'm like, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I go up there, and I roll my windows down, and, and I think I was with, uh, my buddy Zach. Yea, I don't think I was there. Yea, and, and he's like, how's this gonna work? I'm like, I've been told just to roll the windows down. We roll the window down? No joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I got two sets of headshots in my, in my years, uh, but, uh, the first time I did it, they're so expensive too, and you have to like- Unbelievably expensive. I remember having to call my parents and be like, yeah, I need like $600. Crazy. And they're like, what? And I'm like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You cannot be an actor without headshots. You need these. And they're like, ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And take it. And then you gotta get it printed. It's a whole thing. So, so I- It's fucking insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Adam actually did a great job, so for sure they looked professional enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you're, you're a young guy, you're gonna need three looks. You're gonna need like, you're an athletic look, like you're a, like you might play sports. You need, you need a, uhm. Okay, got that. Like a shirt and tie look, like hey maybe this guy could work in an office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he made me, uh, I need to find these photos. I have no idea where they're at. Uhm, but he made me hold onto a chain link fence and look over my shoulder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, that was probably a cool job for, yeah, for like a, uh, a young dude in their twenties. It just seemed like every beautiful actress who needs to get their photos, because you have to get them done like every couple years. You can't like look any different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, do you- I mean, I haven't used a- You don't- What's up now? Do you have to even have headshots now? I don't even think you need- I think when you very first start out, you need digital photos, but like, your Instagram photos are just as good as anything that we were taking 15 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Smart. Speaking of transitioning, does anyone have any take backs, call backs, or, uh, take put-put-put downs? Giveaways? Epic Slayer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like we didn't argue a lot, uh, today. I would like to, uh, I kind of apologize during, but I would like to re-apologize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that is C-A-N-N. C-A-N-N. Well that's the thing, like, he doesn't anymore. But still likes can. He drinks. He drinks it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Give me a t-shirt. Maybe, maybe you live in Belize and you're like a fucking hoodie? I don't think so, Jack. What's the weather like there? I need a t-shirt. Yeah, I need a t-shirt. And guess what? We have them as well. Okay, we do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the tall boys, uh, I think the tall boys, uhm, you're a little better on the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the, uh, board with a tall boy. The can, you were a little slow. I think you might have been a little bit in your head with the can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hell yeaah, baby. That was in sync.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Finally did it. That was in sync. Call me Lance Bass, cause that clap was in sync. Okay, Lance Bass. Yea, Lance Bass, it is. Thank you. Please call me Lance Bass. Where's he at? Do you remember when me and you went to a party at Lance Bass's house, uh, Jersey? With my brother? And he, yea, he wasn't there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm thinking of a totally different place because I'm thinking of a place in the valley on the flatlands worth a nice pool and being like, this is his house, and then people being like, yea it's one of his like, five houses, the guy's Lance Bass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how you spell it. That's how you spell it, Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when can we start to go to space? Are you guys, at what price point are you guys willing to go to space?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause you know how right now it's like, hey, you can go to space, but it's going to be a quarter million dollars or some shit. And I'm like, that's a little- Right, that's- I think that's what he paid. That's a little out of pocket for m- for me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, a hundred thousand? Like, would you go for a hundred thousand? That's a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. Is it good as hell? It takes a lot to get the space burger up there, get the grill working. Spice right. Cause you don't want that, that oil's just gonna be spraying everywhere and we don't want it to burn through your suit. So there's a lot of science.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I for sure wanna do that, but I definitely wanna like, go to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first ever music festival on, on the moon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guys that did Coachella, they're like, we're throwing the first ever music festival on the moon. Uhm, the only band that we can get up there is Muse. Muse is stuck there. I'm fucking there dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's how I do it. Hey, how about we ask any girl between the ages of 24 and 38. They know every music song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've already said the burger's phenomenal. Can we just stick with space burger, please? Hey, and Kyle? They've got a really, a really, a really nice salad. Like a really yummy. I'll take em.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, okay, what if, what if they don't? What if it's only a burger? Are you gonna break your vegetarian? Do you own the space station, bro?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much is the burger? The burger's a thousand dollars. No, the burger's included in the 100 grand. You get a burger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so you can dance on every- you can look up and people are dancing above you. Oh sh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, dude, Blake, I'm saying we're coming. What do you mean? You're not going solo. I'm saying we're... Yeah, I'm only going with you. Who am I gonna go with?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how much fuel that we have to use in order to get to the moon and safely land?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then as soon as, as soon as you are over like maybe


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, yeaah, I, I, yeaah, I say I have, uh huh. Yeaah, I don't think I ever- I've done it off men and women, it's not just, uh, it's not, you know, you're a wild party man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say, but you would, if you're thinking like, oh, if a guy's gonna take a body shot, he wants to take it off a hot chick. I've also done it off a fat sweaty man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like a, it's like a bid at a bar. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was the rich homies where you're like, woah, do their parents own a heating and air conditioning company? Like, are they wealthy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's, that's not rich, poor person thing. That's, uh... Fiber intake. Like, fiber intake. That's old people cereal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not buying the good shit. We would still have, like, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when I was coming up, in the 90s, dude. Uh huh, so tight. Blake's favorite record. Yeah, I feel like we, they cared a lot less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys missed out. I feel sorry for you. Yeaah. Me too. Me too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so then, since you guys have a very brand heavy palette, what is your favorite cereal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good for you. It doesn't really get you off on the right foot in the day. And as an adult who like worries about my jawline drooping too much, I've kind of just gotten away from eating cereal in general.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, but now if I'm gonna treat myself, if I'm being a naughty naughty boy, I will, I will, uh, have a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch. It's the best! And that's, and that's that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Team Cheerios. That's not what they're called. It's called Multi-Cheerios.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay, well I'm seeing this. I think they just call them, uh, like multi-chirios now, don't they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you do, I remember when we lived together that it would be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, I would have a banana. I'd lay a peel around because, you know, you're 19 years old and you're not picking up immediately after yourself. And you'd come into the, uh, the TV area and sit down and be like, Oh, is that a, is that a peel? Oh my God, dude, I'm going to puke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clean up on aisle vomit. And you're like, are you gonna puke? And then it was, and then it was watching you try to make yourself vomit for like a solid 15 minutes after smelling the banana peel. And I'm like, is this real, man? Is that real?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, you guys didn't know I know those dudes? Uh, hey, maybe that's, maybe that's our, our, those are my guys. You know how like our agents are always yelling at us about like, you guys gotta find an IP that you love and then develop a movie or a project around that IP. That's what's working right now. Like after Lego came out, uh, in KFC,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And KFC. I feel like we should do Snap, Crackle and Pop. The three of us are the characters Snap, Crackle and Pop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I feel like I would be pop and maybe I'm like the little pop star of the group. I'm always singing and dancing and I wear like very bedazzled outfits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then it cuts to him, and it's just him, like, just, uh, just, just ripping the crack pipe. Just kind of really down and out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Oh yeaah. Let's talk to General Mills. Hey, let's, uh, Mills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For sure they were just, uh, hey, can you get in the booth and- That was Hannah. And drop down this other character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fred Flintstone. Oh, Fred Flintstone, that's right. He played Fred. Rick Moranis was Barney. Rick Moranis. Rick Moranis. Yea, and he was like, kind of, cause I think it was like critically panned when it came out. So I don't know, someone mentioned it and he was kind of rolling his eyes, being like, oh yea, you know. And I'm like, hang on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, shut up John Goodman. You legend. I was like, do not shit on my total childhood. Because. Yea, and then you say, dude, you were fantastic as Barney. That movie rules. It's funny how movies like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're like, if you are of a certain age, they just hit you so right, and then even if the movie isn't that great, you still look at it so fondly, and you're like, I love, I love that movie, and I love it still to this day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cost too much money and so it didn't make its money back and then Hollywood is like, and that's done now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah! Woah, woah, woah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crazy adventure that they went on when they, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the fuckin' slick on the... What? Looking for treasure. Yeah, the slick. The Asian kid that had all the gadgets. That dude was dope. I think that's Indiana Jones. No one's not. That's the same kid. It's the same kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, it's fucking good. No, the film is not bad quality. It's the same. It's hella old, isn't it? Isn't it from like the 60s? Goonies? Yeah. Are you talking about like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, it was an epic adventure. I mean, like, it had Sean Astin as, when he was peak, cute Sean Astin little kid actor. Josh Brolin is like the jock. He rules.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Okay. What was your childhood like that you didn't watch it twelve times? Like I feel like it was always on, like- I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Dude, how can you think that, that, that going through those tunnels, like what was your imagination as a kid? To me, I had tons, I liked, I liked


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, and then you're, and then you don't like goonies. You don't fuck with goonies at all. Goonies? Fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we gotta get that footage. Do we have that hot footy anywhere? Cause I remember we all watched it together and you're like, right, rewind it back, right there, right there. There, there, there, there, there, there, there. Yeaah, there's the side of my head. When we, when, and then sure enough you, like Ders just, you know, he looked like, he looked like young, young Ders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's amazing. It's the dream baseball movie. If you have kids, you gotta, you gotta let them watch that. If they like baseball at all, they're gonna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's still probably, that was still probably super fun, like as a kid, like. Unreal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When everyone starts flapping their, their wings. It's cool. Danny Glover dog. Danny Glover dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Throughout the career. I bet you could pull that off. I think you could pull that off. Just a weird glove that you carry around with you in your trunk to get signed by famous people with the last name Glover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was awesome. I was, uh, I was an extra in high school. I worked at a grocery store and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His close friends call him by a totally different name. Uh, Alexander Payne was doing a bout Schmidt and they were shooting it, uh, at the grocery store that I worked at, at, uh, Baker's and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were, uh, they wanted to use like real background people, like people that actually work the store as the background to make it feel authentic. And people knew that I like, you know, liked comedy and acting and that kind of thing. So they're like, Adam, do you want to be in the background? I'm like, yeah. And they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Nicholson is gonna come grab a gallon of milk and turn around and walk out of the shot, basically. And I'm just sort of stacking yogurts in the background. And, uh, I'm like angling my head out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Jack Nicholson, you know, you're not in a movie, you're just stacking shelves, uh, you know, so let's, uh, let's just stack shelves how you normally would stack shelves. Talking to everyone as if I'm not the only one stacking shelves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is gonna make it so I can stay in the movie. And then they go, great, cut, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jack wants to see me. What do I have to say? They're going to give me some lines. I've been discovered. He might've seen me at my Aunt Cindy's wedding dancing and that was the first scouting of my talents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were like, here, you got to stock shells over here. And now I'm stocking shells like, and then I realized I'm no longer on camera at all. Like they put me down an aisle, just stocking, like I'm actually just working and just holding the boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crazy cool. It was so cool. It was like, it was fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a, if everyone can turn it down, I'd like to speak just to Alexander. You got it down. Okay, everyone turn it down, thank you. The floor is yours. Alexander, hey, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam here, from, uh, the Baker Supermarket, uhm, yes, of course, location. Uh, I would just like to say, if we could get those dailies, I think it would really help my career, and probably, I'd like to put it in my reel, uh, to show that I've worked with greats such as Jack, Jackie Nicholson. Okay, everybody continue back there now, and I hope, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's just coming, it was just like to show like- And are you sure it wasn't Christian Slater? It was just to show how like, I think depressed he was, and it was just like a montage of him doing stuff alone, I believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was also an extra in, uh, Funny People, the John Appetow movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was working at The Improv, I just quit working to do comedy full time and I quit like maybe four months prior or something like that. And I got a call from Rita at The Hollywood Improv.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she was like, get your butt down here, I bet we can get you a line. And I'm like, awesome. So I rushed down, I put on like my old uniform as if I'm working at the improv, and then I'm just deep background. There's like, you see me in one take, you see like a profile shot of me like carrying a tray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, movie set, you know, just to like be around people actually making movies and TV shows, especially like before we were, had really ever been on a true proper set when we were just kind of doing our own things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay, okay. Right, right. Right. It was there tickled me Elmo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Blake was, Blake, you were with me, weren't you? Weren't we together in, uh, when Arnold Schwarzenegger came to the Orange County Fairgrounds? I didn't go to that. Oh really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, when he was running for the governor, he, uh, our teacher, it was like, I was in like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Improv class or drama class or something and uh, our teacher goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where's the camera? Where's the fucking camera? We're not filming. I swam through the entire crowd. I kept seeing, uh, I had a little notepad where I would like write, uh, you know, like little bits that I was working on because I was trying to do comedy at that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I w- went through the whole crowd going, OCC press coming through, as if it was like a real credential. And I get all the way to the very front, and I reach out and I touch Arnold on the shoulder, and he turns around, gives me a double thumbs up, and goes, YAAAH!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, do you need to get in here? Well, it is a weird thing in high school to be like, to, it's one thing if you like are into drama, cause you're like, yeah, you like performing, but the kids that are like, I just like setting stuff up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say that, that, that, like as much as people shit on, uh, the drama departments in high school, like, my drama department in high school, like they won state, they were like, cool, but still like, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly, but still like everyone, all of my other friends that were athletes would like shit on it. So for sure I was, I would like make up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then it's me going to rehearsals and then suddenly like I'm in the play, I'm one of the leads of the play come, you know, a few weeks later and they're like, wait a second, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More than any other group in high school, I feel drama people are the horniest. Yeah, let's talk about this. They're all giving handjobs and blowjobs and fingering backstage. It's a real weirdo orgy back there. Tons of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is what's cool about just being in high school. You just do things that are a little bit, that you're just trying stuff out. Cause you don't really know what you like and what you don't like up to that point. So you're like, wow, maybe I, maybe I'll like this, maybe I won't. But it's kind of giving it a go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like, I look back at like, cause you're just so self-conscious in high school of thinking like people are judging you or you gotta be cool for this reason or that reason. And, uh, I remember like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I could always just sing, and so the, the, the, like, show choir, uh, teacher or coach or whatever, was like, Adam, we want you in show choir, like, if you audition, you, you will get in. And I remember- How did he know you could sing? Because, uh, we had, like, choir in school, so you had to take-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do, I do want to get a blowjob once in high school. So if I do both, I don't know if that's going to happen. Uh, little did I know that, uh, that these creative types, they, they were the ones doling out them with those early blow jobs. That was the thing. You go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, dude, that's so cool. I remember something along those lines for sure. That happened exactly to me when I was a, uh, I was a freshman and she was a senior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was right before we were about to go out, she just like whipped her titties out for me. And when you're a freshman, a senior's titties, I mean it might as well be- Woman's breasts. She's a, she's a woman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my, uh, my high school principal growing up, uh, under, it was a closeted gay man, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, he got, uh, he got arrested for like trying to blow an undercover cop in a bush at our local park. Wait, that's a good, since when is that against the law? Public, isn't that a public problem? Sex in public, yea. And maybe he made him pay for it or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pop and snap are cops. Yeah, we all know what the pop is. Yeah, you gotta snap. Pop is a cop. You gotta snap the button off. Pop is a cop?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called an epic slam and that was just a regular slam. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do the spotlight, dawg. Do the spotlight. Yeah, we'll just worry about, uh, setting up a C-stand or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, all, hey, guys, guys, guys, guys, all movies from the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 80s and also a lot from the 90s are just, it's so much slower. Like now movies have to hit you over the head right away and it's gotta be a 90 minute shotgun blast. When movies back in the day used to take some time to ease you into the world and now they just hit you over the head with it. So it's just a different type of movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's, I feel like I, I'm so used to that now, that watching an older movie does, I am like, well fucking get to it. Like I rewatched, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, yeaah, I don't, I'm not messing with the ginger peach as hard. I like that fruit punch. You're wrong and I hate you. Uh, I like that blackberry lemonade, or the raspberry lemonade are both great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can come here for a month and it would cost the same as it would be like for a week, which is like a week is expensive obviously, but like if you stretch that over a month at the fucking four seasons.


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[Assistant] She flag us. I love to be educated. Flag me, bitch. I got a friend who just moved there and she said she had to lock it down for two weeks.


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[Assistant] I'm with you. I know that's gross, but I kind of want to see what's up in, in underneath that smog. You know what I mean? Like I want to go to New York in 77 and see what that was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a picture of like a buff dude so you're like, oh, this is the steroids over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember when I broke my ribs jumping on a trash can when we were filming Workaholics? Like I, or I cracked her ribs? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Super hurt, uh, and they gave me some big fat fucking pain pills.


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[Assistant] It's not that, I just was like, I don't want these in my body.


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't know, I'm going off of like 80s, like, save by the bell shit from uh, AC Slater. I'm so excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'm down. Uh, that will be tight, just to fucking, and we're all wearing like kilts, like those super white, those


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ultimate prank dude, so good. Dude, prank wars. Hey, how, seriously though, how were the shrimp tacos?


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're talking about colors and I'm like, I feel like colors are, they're doing their thing already for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that dude Mike Rowe has his own line of Mike Rowe dose?


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[Assistant] Hey, it's me with the hat. I got micro doses. Damn. That'd be fuckin' sick. You're onto something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bathtub, by the way, this laboratory you're imagining is like some fucking dank funky ass kitchen where they're like pulling it all together and you might die, you might not. Yea, this isn't Cal State Berkeley, brother. Just put some Palm Olive in there to give it some texture.


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[Assistant] But that's the dumbest thing ever. You're gonna give everyone a week to go fuck around and like, be social? That's stupid. You're gonna get, you're gonna have things, you're gonna get, somebody's gonna get it, right? So you might as well not have those breaks, cause you're gonna have those breaks at some point anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sex, I should say, what do we say? It's the sex. Cool. That's a scoop. We got the scoop, guys. Arugaloids, you have your princess.


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[Assistant] Text? You know how like some guys have like the clit right above the penis? Oh right.


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[Assistant] And it tickles. I wish I did. I wish I had it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my workaholics office that I had, I got from my grandma's like garage and put up in the workaholics office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, just the boats, just like paintings of boats and ships and vikings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, a lot of people, you just, you pick things up from your travels. Like I think my parents had some fuckin' sick honeymoon that they went on like way before they had kids and shit, you know? So they had like, I think they went to like Russia. My mom was a stewardess, so she had like unlimited miles and they just fuckin' walked the earth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so you're a weak ass and that's why you don't like owls. No, I just, I don't like- I wouldn't, I wouldn't stop my stride. I'd go owl and I would keep walking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's how you get rid of the rats is you get a snake and then you get that owl when you're done with the snake.


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[Assistant] You mean like Star Trek where he kicks the dude in the knee and it turned out to be his nuts? Fucking classic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a classic. What was that? That was the famous, uh, Star Trek movie. What's it called? Rathicon, where he's like fighting this giant dude and he kicks him in the knee and he goes down hard and he's like, what the fuck? He's like, that's where his testicles are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you want to take this chance to, just real quick, off the top of your head, favorite bird?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, dude. We're good. Yeah. Cardinals are fucking, when you see a Cardinal, you turn into like a different person. You're like, that's a Cardinal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was in South Africa on my honeymoon, we went on safari and there were these bird watchers that were in the ride with us and they were fucking insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jumping out the window trying to get the shot and they were like telling stories about shit I don't care about they're like Every 30 years you gotta go to here cuz there's one time where they come and we went we saw members and I'm like, bro Nobody cares


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. There it is. But that's the whole thing is that like you get the book with like the checklist and then when you meet other bird watchers, all they do is go, but did you see this? Yes, I saw that. But did you see this? Yes, I saw that. And they go back and forth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that a concept too? It's not a concept too. No, it just, it says stamina on it.


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[Assistant] No, no, I want challenges. I want challenges coming from people.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I felt like, you know, let's just get high school about it tonight. That's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not hungover, but uh, the mouth, like the teeth are just coated. Oh, you didn't brush? Yea, I didn't brush.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get me started on quebs. I brush them every morning. But not at night? Yea, cause when I brush them at night then it's like super minty and then I go to bed and I'm like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I already can't fall asleep, like I don't get in bed and like knock out, like Adam, you knock out pretty quick when you take your sleep potions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh right, hang on, but let's get back. I guess I'm crazy for not brushing my teeth at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly don't, he's probably the last person I want to watch work out. It doesn't, I don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People have been doing the chains for, for the, for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The chains have a purpose for when there's more chain hanging in the air as opposed to on the ground. So like, it gets heavier as you're lifting things up and away from the ground.


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[Assistant] Is there anything dumber than you? Can you imagine?


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[Assistant] Hey, today you're gonna, you're gonna swear on this one today, Rock. Ah, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't get me started on like the fake rivalry between him and Kevin Hart. I want to hear about the real rivalry with Vin Diesel. Because I know there's real beef there. The Kevin Hart beef is fake and like fun. Give me the real beef with Vin. What's the real beef with Vin?


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[Assistant] It's like in sync how Justin Timberlake took over from JC Chavette.


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[Assistant] The title had been used. But it's not a... Really? But it, yes. But it's not a remake of that movie.


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[Assistant] I think that they just used the same title. You don't think it was a car movie? It was a car movie, I know that, but like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without Limits is a movie about Steve Prefontaine, I highly recommend it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, mash? Fucking mash? Clute? Guys, invasion of the body snatchers? Clute? Is him and Jane Fonda getting fucked?


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[Assistant] He looks cooler than ever. He looks like a regal, like an old Siberian tiger.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's fucking dope. That's a cool place to take a lunch meeting just to feel like you're, you're doing the Hollywood thing. Yeah, that's so Hollywood. Let's get a lunch at the Chateau. Mhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you brush your teeth at night, you did. Did Farley, too? No, right? Did Farley die? Farley was Vegas? No.


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[Assistant] Allegedly, you're saying that he threw a woman into...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think he like podcasts now or something. He's not on the terrestrial radio. I think he left that in like, oh, fucking six or seven? Like later aughts? Yeah. Crazy, crazy.


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[Assistant] Here's my thing, when something like becomes a trend to tweet about, like, and some people you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who you're like, oh, they're not gonna like drop a tweet about it. They do. And you're like, do you have no restraint? Like, do you feel like if you don't tweet about the thing that like, you're not part of society, it's so fucking, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Trump must have been like, look at this. I get a text by accident and the entire planet goes...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Should we reveal, uh, uh, something that completely got buried in the edit that just got lifted out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without using names, can we tell the best fucking story about how we weren't able to get a specific actor into Canada to play Adam's, uh, onscreen father? Sure, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, we had a bunch of stuff we lifted out, including like Adam's parents storyline, which is that they abandoned him to live with his grandma so that they could go, uh, be porno actors and producers in Vegas? And he was raised in Los Angeles?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when we like got famous and rich at the end of the movie, like we were on TV because of the whole, uh, hotel takeover, they showed up at the very end and it was Air Force Amy and this other fine actor, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys muted me? That's so, okay, then I guess you don't want one of those names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but we tried, we tried to get, we tried to get this porno star who everyone knows into Canada to play. Everyone knows. Everyone knows him. You love him. You love his work. He's arguably the best actor. You love his cock. You love his cock. He's got great lines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's when you're drunk and you're doing a crocodile mile in public.


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[Assistant] Uh, there's not really any pools in my town. Really?


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[Assistant] It's literally wor- it's worse than, uhm, it's worse than you think. Basically my brothers swam and my parents were like, well, we're just gonna drop you off too. And then-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so there's like a big pool and a little pool at the high school where we had the club team. It's like as expensive as gymnastics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I do, I still love the water. I do like to just fuck around in the water and move underneath water. I mean, Adam, you guys saw me. You are a goddamn fool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pulled the sheets off and just started putting a hair brush on my ass and I was like,


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[Assistant] I said, I said flotation devices and she looked at me like I was teasing.


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[Assistant] And by the way, mine is completely based in fear. I don't know about boy.


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[Assistant] If, uh, if you're having a barbecue with, uh...


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[Assistant] Bad Barbie dolls. Dude, Mattel would fucking bury her so fast her head would spin. And not like a doll.


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[Assistant] No, he's not a big guy, he's like five, he's like five-five, right?


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[Assistant] Dan Bilzerian is not over five cents. Oh, he's a small guy. Yea, that's why he wears like those stacked Wolverine boots.


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[Assistant] Any other spoilers about that movie we can give away? Cause we didn't even get into the brothers thing. We were brother-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soft dick BJ's with the nuts involved? Is that a thing? And I don't know, workaholics? God DICK!


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[Assistant] I don't know that there is for sure, but there's everything. So whatever question, is there a, there is. It's out there and the internet has pulled back the curtain. It exists.


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[Assistant] I mean, that's what they are. They are ear holes. I just listened to us. That's it.


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[Assistant] Oh baby, nice. That's, there's 10 seasons there.


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[Assistant] How about, how about Kyle, uh, I'll do the pilot to get all the monies and then I'm leaving you. Yeah, that's his new thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, baby. I mean if we had our own barbecue sauce we could sell, like, I mean, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're playing the same characters, it's just a different format.


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[Assistant] And is it called Multicam? Cause like there's a lot of people named Cameron.


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[Assistant] You fucking film with five cameras or three to five cameras simultaneously recording from multiple angles and then either live you edit between the cameras or later you edit from that footage whereas single cam you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're lit for one side as if you're using one camera, whereas Multicam you're lit for all the cameras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, did you ever do that on Workaholics or not? I did. Absolutely I did. Huh, when was that? Boys, did you see it often enough? Hey, very rarely, very rarely. I remember going, I gotta remember that because we're not fucking cross shooting and explain what cross shooting is. Please don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the hell is a show that does multi-cam and single-cam? Cam?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's not correct either because I shot a pilot called How I Met Your Father, or I think it was called How I Met Your Dad, and it never happened. And it was a multicam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They film like a multicam. There's no audience. Uh, yeah, that was a shit show. They like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sick Santino, that's where I really met, uh, Andrew Santino, who I just want to notate. Just want to notate, uh, I believe on the charts today we're at 150, he's at 152. Okay. So he is where you at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do like how everything in Adam's mind was for an audience. Yes, you got it. Like I was just shooting hoops.


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[Assistant] I will say this, I would, no I wasn't. Uh, I was never trying to impress people I thought.


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[Assistant] When there really is. But I'm not talking, there's two different things we're talking about here. There's visualization about a race or a game, and then there's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I would say I differentiate those two from the execution of something and you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but my point is, are you trying to nail the dance move to nail it? Or are you trying to nail the dance move so someone comes up to you and goes, hey man, you nailed that dance move. Yea, but you know who that person is? Cause there's two different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're talking about, you're imagining the payoff for something. As opposed to just getting it right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The difference is, he's doing it to be the guy who shoots the game winning shot, as opposed to just working on the shot.


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[Assistant] You're doing it for the, you're doing it for the attention of the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're doing it for the people as opposed to yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, ready? How about this? Homeboy who learned, the dude who was surfing the Mavericks for like 10 years before everybody. When he just would go out there and do it. Yup. Let's get him on the horn right, right now. And find out if he was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up? Hello? I just always imagined everyone watching me, or if he was out there just fucking surfing. Yeah, no ex- no, he might, he might be going,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm wondering if he was like, I'm doing this so that someday it becomes a thing, or if he was like, I'm doing this because I love this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If someone had a mallet and they just hit your fucking steel toe, it chops the toes off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no. Yeah, I would have a jumbo jet. Yeah. And I would just fly into you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would have one, uh, like katana sized sword that's like light that I can fucking work with, uh, and then in the other hand I would have a short dagger type blade that I could kind of jab with, uh, slit, slit, slit throats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna want a blade, because if someone gets in close combat, they just grab the handle, if you're swinging it down, they grab the handle close to you and stop it, and then they go, with that short blade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm there with you, Blake. I'm gonna have that, uh, that dick knife from Seven. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I'm just gonna chase you boys around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Predator 2? Yeaah. Like Danny Glover on the GP?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna say there's a Ninja Turtle graphic novel where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had like short broadswords that had like the spiky handle so they could punch and slash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, have you ever pulled out, yea, you threw a kid down the stairs with a book, right, or something like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this like a movie reveal like the likes of Fight Club where like all of a sudden your face is on his body like you thought you were at the bottom of the stairs and he was looking down on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you're dripping with it. I think there's an energy.


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[Assistant] And I don't know if that's cool anymore. I think you gotta let her just kinda do her thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like that. I'd like that. I feel like that was done. No? Didn't, uh, who was it? Chelsea Peretti? Or I guess that was a comedy special? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gotta be up to something. Didn't he do a big ass Netflix movie? And the, the stall tactics have kicked in. What's he doing? He is constantly working, obviously. The last thing he was working on, we all know, was the- I heart Huckabees too. Yeah, I don't know what he's been up to either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo, he did the fucking, he performed at the MTV Rock N' Jock B-Ball Jam and basically like ran around with his pants and his ankles in those underwear and I was like, this dude is winning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Nobody's hitting up your- Hey, guys out there, if you think, uh, Kyle's a hottie with a body, go ahead and slide in his DMs and we'll talk about you on the pod maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. In a major way. Thank you. And, you know. Yeah, I've, uh, for the record I've never punched you, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I want to compliment everyone at home for uh, listening to that, just, just bearing with us. But hey, this is uh, these are real friendships, you know, you don't always, uhm, have smart friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I'll say this, and I say this constantly around my household, no dreams here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How old are you telling, hey Adam, how old are you telling people in Hollywood you are? I'm, I'm, I went up an age, I'm 47.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can already see the blocking, it's fantastic. You in the middle and them on either side of you, you know, it's gonna be great. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't they just do that with Fuller House and the Conners? It's kind of in fashion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One cute, one- We didn't even write that part yet. How was I supposed to know that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so it's Adam DeMamp, same character. Yes. He got de-married. Very good, yes. He got de-married. And Ders is the next door neighbor, but it's Ders. Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that's where you get the audience to engage in their theatrics. Like when we would do house party, you ask them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like when you're in Universal Studios and you get pulled out to be in part of the stage. It's like you're there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They call it multi-cam because back in the day they would put in like, you know, there was the only medium that you could put like four cameras on, four or five cameras on and they had limited sets and the camera, the characters always visited the same sets and that's what it was. It wasn't until like, multiple cameras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, now we do something called single cam. Normally what you see out on location, like Arrested Development, was single camera. And I don't know, workaholics? God!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obvious, Ders, you know that. But in Workaholics, we would shoot with two or three cameras. So the, it's more about the setting than it is the actual cameras. You fucking-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cross shooting is when you have cameras pointing both directions so that you can capture everything at once. The improvisation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really about the, it's really about the audience or not. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And about the simplicity of the blocking or what you're doing with the cameras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're both about you. One is about how you perform in the game and during and under the line, when you're in, when the moment counts. And the other one is when you're performing and there happens to be a scout out there that can give you the tickets and the keys to Hollywood. What's the difference?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And winning in entertainment. Yeaah, and winning in entertainment. Whatever those bars are. There's not an actual ribbon, there's not an actual judge, but what is the difference there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big wave surfing wasn't a thing until that documentary came out. That documentary made big wave surfing a thing in the sports eye. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's the only way I can answer this question is imagine myself as an action figure and what comes in the package with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I imagine myself as an action figure and what comes with me, I think I'm going like fucking raw with, with like a baseball bat with some fucking sharp metals in the end of it. So I can swing the fuck out of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ooh, that's good. So what's yours? Okay, what other weapons? We got one weapon. Uh, machine gun. What the fuck? You can't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, right. I mean, that's what I'm wondering. That's the bonus set when you get my vehicle, which is obviously a Tesla.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good combo. Yes. Like a carbon fiber, carbon fiber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, Blake trolled before trolling was a thing. The motherfuckers got the brain power to handle this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys, now we're getting into two weapons though, by the way. Is this okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was, I said one baseball bat, I didn't know, then you had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like the fucking, like tree climber boots, you know, where you grip in and so it's like spikes on top. So when I kick with the toe, you're fucked. And if I step on you, you are fucking cheese grated player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, no, that's a bad idea, because I got a sword. I got a baseball bat that I'm swinging.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that is groundbreaking shit right there. That is silly stuff. I'll be in that sitcom for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he's been working on his Instagram a lot. He was in Spencer Confidential.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Transformers, no good. Yeaah, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Transformers was no good. Daddy's home was cool. I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Size to the thighs, bitch. Size to the thighs? I had my baseball bat and fucking spiky boots, so what a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, in all honesty, you don't always see eye to eye and some people like to spar and uh, in conversation and that is where it should be left at the end of the day. If I wasn't virtually away from you Anders, I would force you to hug me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I squeeze, I cut, I cut off the stream, and then I let it go back on. Small cut comedy, grandpa!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dope. You guys, let's freakin' do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or the kids opening up their Christmas presents on Instagram. They were like getting a PS5. They're like, got the PS5! Let's go! About a Christmas gift?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a thing I've always wanted to kind of like step out, but then I just forget because it's not that important. But this is important. But it is important. It is. This is important. So right now it's let's go. Before that it was that's what I'm talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before that at some point it was like booyah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is the history of that exclamation sports thing in chronological order starting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause people used to just say that to, they could have not said anything, but they would go, that's what I'm talking about. That's a long one too. Yeah, that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was the Ric Flair woo. Like, people were doing that instead of speaking for a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's probably where it started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeehaw, of course yeehaw. But I'm, I guess I'm circling the, I'm going around like sports. Like popularized sports phrases that are said once by a pro and then 12 year olds across America go, I'mma say that for 18 months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I will, I didn't, I didn't retweet this, I didn't retweet this, so we don't know what the, uh, the Mindy Project fans that are just, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like Rodeo Drive, like people just are like, we're changing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is it like, wherever the word is from, is it pronounced like, sher-bay? Like sor-bay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know what you're talking about. I watched, I watched that episode of John Wilson or whatever where people were like, great show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great show. Don't you remember? It said, it said Stouffer's Stovetop, and it's like, no, you fucking idiot, it never said it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the dumbest fucking thing in the world because what they're doing is they're going, no, when I was five years old,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's missmem- it's missmemories that a bunch of people have together and there are conventions where they go together they're like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the movie quote was this, but all of a sudden I watched the movie and it's different? But we all said, Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so the, these people have found each other, they think they're like onto something, and it really is a collection of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People with hope. You know, that's the nicest way I can put this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're hoping that they're not idiots. They're hoping that they're not wrong because there has to be some bigger explanation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they can't believe how shitty their lives are. Do you think Neo ever sits down and goes, man,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, and guys, look for that on our next merch drop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But here's, here's my question. Does anybody ever go like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, there's gotta be another life. And for me, it's, it's much worse. Like, I am a fucking toilet liquor in ancient Egypt or some shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think you whispered it. You would say it to a friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] YOLO, right? That's a great way to live your life. I think you're right. I think that religion was the OG, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that it said Stouffer's Stovetop. I agree. That's how Christianity started. They were like, no, I saw, there was water and then it was wine. It's a miracle. Meanwhile, this motherfucker's like switching it behind his back. Like, duh. You see that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's what's fucked up. As we get into this digital era, right? Oh, hit us with it. Where like everything can be kind of constructed in a way that you're like, yeah that's a 100% believable photograph. We're fucked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, right? Like, cause then all of a sudden there will be pictures from 1985 that have stovers over the stovetop. And who's the idiot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These co- like commercials or like movies and shit, explaining like the CGI is not real to my kid. He's like, are those real dinosaurs? And I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exploding into pieces and reconforming and like driving up buildings and stuff. And he's like, can we do that? And I go, no. And he's like, well, why did they show it then? And I go, exactly son. Now give me back my.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Mandela effect is, uh, how hard it gets your pecker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't do it. It's gonna go straight to a crazy porno land and then it's just, uh. They do have Oculus porno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And did not enjoy that. I was like, this is fucking stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause I thought I was going to fucking step off this building. They're like, go ahead and take another step. And I was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, it tricked my brain. I was like, I can't, I'm not, mmm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like those, uh, those dark sand people in Seoul. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe she heard that we talked about her, maybe she didn't, either way, she's reppin'. The other, like, side of this coin is that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the bear coat and saying let's get weird is just now like ubiquitously part of culture and she didn't even realize she was doing it. That would be weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I feel it's a huge compliment that her most recent album was basically about us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like little things you can pick up on, but yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First through last tracks, there's little things about us on each.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone else, stop listening for just a moment, turn it down. Taylor Swift, who's got the best butt?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause like, honestly, I don't care about any ball that is out there. Whatever Taylor Swift says, that's the one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, I suppose we should be done, but it's only been thirty-something minutes, so uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are looking at, you guys are looking at me. I never took them off and you're pretending like you can't see me. I'm not, I'm not letting this bit fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you guys had the Zoom set up so you only see who's talking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, is there a little yoke on your face? I like looking at all of my friends. I got you guys set up. I got the boys on top. I got me in the middle. Got producers and people on the bottom. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, talk, like, I do, I have a new podcast. Oh, really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all connected. Uh, went to his home. Mmm. Not a big deal. Soweto, shout out. Is that where he died? I don't know where he died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did he die? Just kidding. No, he hasn't yet. So I get to the car rental place and the woman's like, Hey, and I'm like, Hey, and she's like, all right. And I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, she's saying polo, I don't know what's happening. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I turned to my wife to be like, help me out here. She's got nothing. I'm like, what are you asking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she slides like the, the like list of cars to me, and it's, she's talking about a Honda Fit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta fuckin' figure out this fuckin' language. God dammit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys seen the mom recently? I saw like an interview with her the other day and she's fully silver hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still very, still very attractive, but it was like when you saw Ted Danson in Saving Private Ryan the first time he had like the shock white hair, and you were like, whoa!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did she just kick it after? Like, is she just like, I did it and I'm out, or was she like chasing other stuff? I mean, I feel like I would kinda...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the show where like this, oh it was the Brady Bunch, right? Where like the oldest son like, actually like, got it together with the mom, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's the whole, I think they like, they always wink-winked about it to like, interviews, cause they're like, the rumor is, and they're like, I don't know, did we?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, by the way, even if they're winking about it, it's fucking so tight. It's weird. No, no, no, it's awesome. I mean, that's a kink. It's like how Bob Saget's all like, uh, the other day I was paying for an abortion cause he was on like a super clean show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sorry we had it so twisted about that, very specific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the guy from like, The Fugitive, right? Who switched the samples?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interesting, I like how dark and quiet this got suddenly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird for me that people want to see that guy be hella Christian. Cause like, right off the bat I'm like, nah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, yep. I do love that he bridged the gap. He was like, wait a second, there's a whole untapped resource of youth money. That gets my pecker hard. Yeah, he cashed in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Magic is scary! I used to love Midnight Mass when you were hella young. You're like, I get to stay out past midnight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm drawing in Bibles. I would just take a Bible and then just draw in it the whole fucking time. Oh, you're going to hell. You're going to hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go, hey, hey, you want to trade? And he goes, excuse me? And you go, oh, I'm on a call. Yeah. So high. So high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a homie, the move would be, you'd go to the bathroom and whatever, at a bar or something like that and it's super busy. Bunch of people are in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, if you haven't gone to the bathroom yet, are you the guy who does it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turning the lights out in places, the power, you get so much power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You invite his family to watch? For sure, yes. Right, right, right. You start going, let's go. Yea, walk me through this. I squeeze, I cut off the stream, and then I let it go back on, and then I do it to like a beat, I go, do-do-do-do-do. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Any, uh, take backs, apologies or compliments guys?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll give a compliment. Kyle, the painting in your, uh, in your background there was painted by, uh, your wife correctly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a story? Is there a story that goes with that or no?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm very- Yeah, no that's true. And let me give a compliment to Adam real quick. For knowing that 400 people is more than Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, okay, copy you. And then started saying, this is important, and then we're like, oh, it's over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I wanna apologize for Blake's creepy voice there. Just say it normally. You don't need to whisper it like that to her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're out our motherfucking tunnel that we've been working on for a couple weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, litty, like, I think litty's kinda tight. Yeah, I'm into litty. I'm a litty guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Litty, that's like when somebody says like true-y, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was definitely not. What, Liddy or Truey? Truey? Truey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ben Bong said it one time when we were in the hot tub and it was like, yo, make sure you put some, like some, some limes in those coronas when you bring them out. And he was like, to Rui! And we were like, hell yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean, I'm holding on to it. I'm holding on. This is like the last time I'm gonna be able to do the long hair, so I'm like fucking going for it. You know what I mean? I'm aware of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be the star of your first porno movie, Kyle. I'd be the star of that. You would if I came to the table and was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if I came to the table with some financing and was like, dude, I'm like, I'm gonna make a career switch. I need you because your name is gonna help pop it. Like, you'd be there? No pun intended. Something's gonna pop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you wanna fuck but not like, show your dick coming. It's for sure me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Must have been on like a real player or something. Remember that shit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Dude, the sublime director used to give you so many viruses. Oh yeah. The most insane amount. I remember my dad came down and was like, let me fix-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was like, let me come, my dad was really good at computers and could clean it off. He knew how to use Norton antivirus and all that stuff and he would come down and like when we visited in LA and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me see your computer, you got a problem with it? Alright, cool. He's like, and then he'd run the scanner and he's like, you have 38,000 viruses on your computer right now. Uh huh, that checks out. Yeah, back in the day it was like, I mean, which, I have a question, do viruses even exist on computers now? Or did the, like, flash just kind of, just get rid of that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you ran for, I think you ran for president first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he ran for president and like made a decent run at it, but then after that decided to go down to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Costa Rica or whatever where it was like more of a lawless land and kind of hired everyone to be his, he basically outfitted his own army down there and started extorting all the businesses and basically running, running it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Extradited. Extradited, that seems about right, allegedly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, fingers crossed. I feel like he killed the dogs of somebody who was like trying to stand up against him. There's a documentary on him. It was his neighbors. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does that mean? Please explain. Oh, his physical appearance?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pointing a finger at anything, I'm just saying it's been drooping since 25, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But who's gonna die first? Holy shit, dude. This is not fun for me. I'm, uh, like, I don't wanna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, I don't drink at all anymore, just so you know. Yeah, but you, but you had, uh, uh, I don't do, I don't drink at all. But you smoked forever. Water?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I smoked, yes, correct. But I just wanted to say he drinks the least. I don't drink at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it's, it's definitely, I kind of agree with you on you going out first. Uh, I, I definitely am there with ya. Yeah, yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Doris said we could just sprinkle it, but I think it's gonna be somewhere, I think we're all gonna live a little bit later. I don't think anybody's going out anytime soon. I feel like we have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah. That's how human beings all do that though. I'm going to a hundred. I'm going to a hundred.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is the contents of lean? It's coding and what, what else? Fruit punch or something? Sounds good. Sprite!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Well, I mean, you really can't believe that? I mean, I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like there was a time when I didn't really even know about ICP, but I did hear the music and I was like, yeah, this is, this is, this is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Horror, yeaah, there's something really cool about horrorcore. I'm not gonna just like fucking... Okay, here we go. Yeah, well I mean, why not? It's like, just like, I feel like as an artist it's like a fantastic expression of just like the darkest, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The darkest of them all. It kind of is, man. And I think I'm all about art that gives an outlet for that. Cotton candy machines! Oooooh!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, that was her first American appearance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda, uh, You'd be called, you'd be called wonder they.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What else, what other superheroes have they gender swapped?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, like I mean they had versions, they had male-female versions, like Hulk and She-Hulk, but like have they done like the full-blown, this doesn't exist in comics? Yeah. I feel like on Sublime Directory,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can we get McAfee, can we get McAfee to come handle the coronavirus or what? You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, 100%. You let him out and he cures the virus. And then what? And then? And then? And then, uh, he runs for- and then he goes on and takes on Trump, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I followed that first movie at all and I tried and I wanted to and it looked very cool but it was just garbage storytelling from my opinion, allegedly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hopefully there was a commercial right before that and we just caught you right up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it was David Ayer, and he's a good filmmaker, like he's made some, some good flicks before, that's where I think, and I heard that the studio just grabbed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw it in the theater and I was very, very sad that it was so bad and then like... You don't have to be sad, it's okay. Cause it's just, it's just unfortunate that, that movies make it to the theater and they are that bad. With all the checks and balances and people weighing in, it means that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are just quiet collecting a paycheck and then they move on. It's just fucking sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the question now though, when you get into a new world where it's like, we don't have movie theaters open right now and in fact they are threatened, then what is going to be the point of even making a movie like Suicide Squad at that caliber when it's just, you just have to put it on a streamer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's gonna be no point. We're about to see the resurgence of the indie film where the auteur reigns supreme. So it's going to be... We're about to see like a really cool changing of the guard in Hollywood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they will though, because it still costs so much to make one of those big, uh, video games, and it doesn't cost as much to make a small flick. But they make it back. They make it back hell easy. They still make it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I'm more interested in the rebirth of the indie than the video game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I saw, I was driving around, uh, and watching them do some brush clearing the other day, cause we got fires all around here, and there was this one dude, they all wear yellow shirts when they're working for the city or whatever, and there was this one old dude, had to be like 65,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I had, the Tesla was driving itself, so I was all good, but like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I started wearing mine after, like just a year ago, cause I figured now I can. I don't, I didn't think I could do it back in the day, but now I'm like, I think it's kinda dope if I wear it. Didn't I tell you guys I was at the grocery store? Is that dope or wrong? Just, I mean, what do you guys think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's dope. No, I think that's dope. It's your claim to fame. Okay, thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I totally agree. I love it when, I love it when Adam just like stream of consciousness like gets these great ideas. It's fantastic. Yeah, and they just come to me. Should we, should we do this? Like crazy, right? We just ask for money for nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the coolest. That is a great use of prisoners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's like where we gotta bring back volunteer firefighters and just, you know, get them on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What were they doing making, he made like little, little pants for, for his girl?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's cool. I could probably watch it twice. It was captivating the first time. I was like just in it the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought the performances are just unreal, like, like best performances I've seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would definitely try. I don't know if I would make it, but I would definitely try.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Durz, I think if you and I, if you and I were cellmates, I think we could hatch a plan to escape. I think we could figure it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah dude, I would definitely go to the library and find a way to talk to the warden and talk about the building and the architecture and get the schematics of the place. I would work that ship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how we're escaping actually, because when everybody's over here looking at Ariana Grande, whoop, we're out our motherfucking tunnel that we've been working on for a couple weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you suggesting that our friendship is the strongest thing on earth, so that basically if one of us goes to prison, all of us go to prison? That's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that you also can have an Instagram in jail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so you'd be able to be recording and giving us live updates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Depending on probably the prison, I'm sure you can make money while you're in prison. What about people who are like, you know, those white collar, like Epstein who was like, I'm in prison but I'm leaving six and a half days a week and I'm there just at night or whatever. He was making money the whole time he was in prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, I'm, as I've said before, do I have to answer this? Takes off his microphone. It's like, dude, that's your hot. Amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, I'm gonna take my microphone off, I can't handle this. Oh, but you can handle every other question, man. But when you start coming after your weird-shaped dick, you're outta here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's okay. You can take back anything mean you said, or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grab the dick from the inside and then reach underneath and throw your finger up the butthole and now like, what's that bobcat actually gonna do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard he's a car salesman out in Calabasas. That's tight. That's so tight. That's what I heard. I heard that from a guy who rents my house in Studio City. That's what he told me yesterday. You got the plug. What's your address there again? I'm not telling anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh! Hey, tucked up in the hills, baby. We'll find it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 12 miles. I made a wrong, yeah. It was gonna be 7 and I missed the trail to go across the ridge and ended up going down and then had to go all the way back up and then it was like, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's an aggregate. It's uhm, basically I'm tracking through the phone, but then I also go into this very meticulously laid out map and I click my path. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually click every turn and it lays out. On map my run? What it thinks it was. Yea, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That dude was wild. Only when he got wasted, he was Agro Craig.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, we, the phone said like 14 miles because we like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Afterwards, we kinda drove around a little bit. It was like, well that's, that's not it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. But so I knew it was like grabbing too much. Then I went in and clicked on map my run and it was like, okay, it was 12 miles. That feels about right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No rattlesnakes. Actually not a ton. Oh, we saw a frog. That was about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oliver Rayon, he, he, he backed out like after about like, you know, probably five miles. He was like, I'm out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? And he just, yeaah, he didn't- He was like, bye bye? Yeaah, cause then we were about to go up, we were about to do a 2,400, uh, feet climb and he was like, fuck that, I'm about to walk down on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he did it by himself, and then we climbed up to the top. What if he tripped and died? Well, that's on him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's cooler. And you get to, and going out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, my son goes to bed around 8 and so I'm like about 9, 30, 10, I'm in bed and then I'm up 3, 34 o'clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I don't know, it was kinda cool walking at night. You guys ever done a hike in the dark? With just flashlights and stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, I had never done like a dark hike before. This was the first time I'd done it and I realized like this would be super sick to do at night. It's just like a whole new way to see the world. It's like, fuck yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is like just the, I mean, the trailhead by my house. Yeah, you're right. I mean. Dude, what if the sun didn't come up though?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I definitely have a camelback and in that camelback I have water and I have some protein bars and I have some dried figs and I also have a taser gun and a knife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like on a, I don't know what it's for. I put it at the bottom of the, it's like in case a bobcat shows up or something like that. You know what I mean? Oh, you want to get close enough to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm, I don't know. I don't know. Dude, all you gotta go is go. I'm, like you said, it's dangerous. I do have that in my gut. So it's like, you know, dude, I don't know. You go, listen, cat, Robert, you get the fuck out of here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do understand how, I do understand how you could, how you could stop their, their grips if you're grabbing there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grrrr. I hear what Blake's saying, I hear the logic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You grab the inside, so how do you get it back away when you're grabbing its throat? Guys, oh, you have the uvula in your grasp? No, you're past the uvula player, you're like grabbing the stomach and shit. That's how deep you have to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That if like a pitbull does attack you, or if, like how to get the pitbull off of your dog if they're attacking, you can't reach in and grab the jaw and just like separate him, that's not gonna happen. Gotta fuck him. What you do have to do, you do, you have to put your finger in its asshole. Like that's the way to get it to stop. Oh my god!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Think about it. What else are you going to do? I thought I was going to say like, do that with the bobcat too. So reach in with one hand, grab the dick from the inside and then reached you're making me underneath and throw your finger up the butthole. And now like, what's that bobcat actually going to do? It's not backing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, would you come out here and hit the highways with me on the bike? Do you have one of those bikes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have cool ass fucking shirts with like pockets on them. I'm very envious of these shirts. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I think the first, that's a cool thing, just the first celebrity you ever saw when you came to Hollywood. Yeah. Oh yeah. The first one, I remember when I went to film school, I was going up to pavilions up by UCB.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come out of the store with a couple of frozen pizzas, hop into, hop, hop into a fucking car and drive away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was like a bigger car, I think it was like a Bronco type thing, and the pizza, I don't know man. Red Baron? He seems like a Red Baron guy. I was kinda far away, I was nervous!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In my pearl azumes. The best part of that is immediately quiet, just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Those types of relationships are always like, oh, there is so much hope in this world. They see past the face, they see past the hair, they smell past the stanchion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alpine, the Alpine woofer. Yeaah. No, we're just like watching Scream 1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alpine tweeters. Yeah, it's like, it was, that's just what it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mom would fart and then say, what? She'd go, what bitch? That was a big thing when we grew up. Like I don't, women don't fart. They boof. I remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and the, we had a, we hung out with a family that had a whole bunch of girls, like five girls and a mom, and that was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the most part. You know what though? I'm gonna go ahead and go, I'm gonna tell you this. If you're farting, it actually is a sign of a healthy diet. You have more of what you need in your body. That is... no. What? Do a quick Google.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I would have to, I'd have to know what each side of the spectrum is for you personally to be able to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. What's up with that? That's a very fibrous food. His baby is just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not that farty. That's because you don't take, you don't take responsibility for what comes out of your asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I grew up in a household where it was like cool to fart. We all farted. We were like, when you farted in the car, you just yelled airflow and everybody rolled down the windows. Yeah. And it's like, you say we are new at Chex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, you gotta do both sides of the spectrum on me right now. Like, what's a bad- Okay, so when you eat bad, what is that food?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mhm. That's one. The greasy is what you equate to the farts, not the fiber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get that vibe when you don't claim it on set. It feels like you don't want, it feels like you are ashamed of your smell. And I'm here to be like, bro, it's all good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sick. Isn't it Rodeo Drive? It is Rodeo. It is. Okay, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it the, is it the, it's the same shirt twice, right? That's what, that's what it is? Yeah, yeah. Or was there one without buttons or something? Like was there a special undershirt with a collar?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, what happened to the sleeves? Did the sleeves show two colors too?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get that though, it's- Did you do- didn't they also do the embroidery? Did you ever do that? Where it was like, you could get like embroidery on those shirts? Like your name? Is that not a thing? Yeah, I thought you would get it- or no, on the bottom of the collar!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah bro, I remember that. This is real? See, I was always jealous of that look, cause I agree, it's just so absurd that I wanted to do it so bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a lot. It was a lot. I think that's forward. That's cool man. I still think that's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the tight shirt, big pants phase, like tight shirt and like wide ass jankos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But my mom would measure the- she's like, you can only have like a 12 inch leg. Like she didn't want me doing the fucking- cause I wanted the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I loved my pants falling off me dude. Like, I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think I just pushed the limits inside the house and then walked out the door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there was like rules when we grew up where you couldn't sag at school, so it was like an act of defiance with sagging, you know? Like, they were like, you're not allowed to do this, and so if you walk around at recess and sag, you were like, fuck you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I remember doing the weirdest thing with my socks and my Osiris shoes where I would actually stuff the tongues of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we like stuffed the tongue of the shoe with like two or three pairs of folded socks to make it look like big. And I truly don't know why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was when you could skate in basketball jerseys. Like, it was all good. Like, that was, that was correct. And like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bro, you just said run looks? I can actually run looks? Like, that's the sickest. Run looks, dawg. Yeah, dude. I mean, who are you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I spent like fucking 40 bucks on that cause I wanted it to look good on me so bad. And then I wore it and it was like, I look like shit in this. And then you came over and I was like, put this on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's still the photo that when you call me, it comes up. Oh baby. Looking like a god damn viking. You look so god damn good. And that was when the rule was, I mean the rule still is this, like if you look better in it, you take it home. Yeah, you get to keep it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the whole rule though. I think that's a good rule, especially amongst homies and friends. It's like, if you put on your friend's clothes and you look better in it and it's like, you know, objectively better. You should go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It really, you don't, we'll judge it, but really you know, like when you see the person in the clothes, it's like, damn, you look so good in this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No hipstamatic filters? Yea, this is hashtag no filter. There's only a few filters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what? I'm trying to do it. Okay, would, okay. There's some, uh, pairs allowed I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I never jumped on that raw. I was too rich for my blood, man. I never was able to. Oh yeaah. I smoked a bunch of cigs at that time. I was buying cigarettes, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I never, I never did. And I would, I used to like, you know, when you flick a cigarette out, you get ashes all over yourself and you're like, whoa, who gives a fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, dude, I mean, I'm cleaner now than I used to be, but I used to be very rough with things. And I didn't, I always, I still do this. I find something I like and I wear it. Like I'm not like changing all the time. I'm just wearing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I'll wash it and put it right back on because it's my favorite thing. I don't know what the fuck that is. I'm like, I don't get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, that's a strange job to have for a 17 year old child to take your shirt off and strut around the mall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Orla is just like the people that party out at Bogies. They're running that hardy, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's bedazzled somehow. Everything is a snap button. It's all snap buttons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you were like comedically opening them all the time. That was a move. And so I respected that. Yeah. Well, that was, that was my, my running bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm still not mad at that. I'm feeling the cowboy creep up hard out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like just with me personally, just with me personally, I'm feeling it. Like I wanna get into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be like, yeaah. I would respect that, yeaah. This is right. Well dude, I'd get up at five in the morning and go on these hikes and now I'm like, wait, you mean I could take a horse on these trails? You could take a horse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just like having animal, I just like to have animals around. Like I want to get chickens out here now and I'm like, I'm thinking about getting some ducks and then it's like goats and then it's like, oh, a milk cow. And then it's like, well, a horse, let's do that. So I'm like, I'm, I don't know. It just, I dig it. I would like to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I don't like doing it, but I do it because they, they, when I open up the cage they're like, where am I?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're eating my green beans and they just live under my shed and it's like there's- You can't rock a rabbit fence around your property? No, I'm, I'm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm working on it, but these little guys are smart, dude. They can like get in and dig a little bit. I haven't quite figured them out yet, honestly. I'm like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I have no clue. That's, I would buy that one to two, one to two years. So there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You always put your finger in the ass of whatever's attacking you.