[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it gets worse. You kind of have to say to these people, just, just know that it's, it gets worse. It gets worse. Buttholes is like the fucking entry. Then you have to be like, yeah, that's the entry point. Cause you kind of have to say to these people, so you have to look at them in the eye and be like mom.


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[Assistant] Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.


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[Assistant] Well he doesn't have long hair, that's why, that's why Blake keeps the long hair, right?


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[Assistant] Who's it about? It's about an early family. What is it? Do you know?


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[Assistant] I think that's, I think Van Doren is Vans. I think Van Doren is quiz. That's Von Zipper quiz show Vans. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like pre WWF, right? Isn't it like?


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[Assistant] But I thought it was like the traveling. I don't know. Who's directing it? Who's directing it? I don't know, I can look it up.


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[Assistant] Well, you have to cut your fucking hair, bro. You gotta cut your hair, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was, you know, that was a movie. He played Ted Bundy in a movie. And he- Yeah, he was great in that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta go. We gotta do it. Can we broadcast from the house? Can we do those? I mean, we're in Chicago to do a podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should have, we should have food there for the shows. I'm gonna be hungry. I want a gyro plate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is- I- I don't do that. Negotiable. But I have- I am very, very angry when it's like, yeah, we're preparing your order, we got it. And then it's like, uh, it's making it- And I'm like, where the fuck's he going? Oh, and then they drop-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're like- Is this with an app? Is this using an app or is this straight- Okay, it's the fucking apps, dude. Oh. Well, okay.


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[Assistant] It for sure did, it for sure did. Well the dominoes, I think the dominoes did, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was a whole thing. Well, that's, that was a value rating. That was a value system. And also, I know what it is, and we didn't talk about it, the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's Costco. Oh dude. Value, taste, everything. Costco pizza. Fucking rocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. That's what I, I couldn't believe I didn't mention it last time when we were talking about value.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably unlimited relish too, huh? Doesn't that scare you?


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[Assistant] Bro, it's always on a laptop, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today. Uuuh. Yea, no, today it was, today they were like, he froze and then it was like, hey Mitch, did you hear the question? And he was like, yes. He said yes. Dude, he was gone. Uuuh. He said he heard the question, yea. Always say yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're so- yeah, well, we need the youth, baby. Where are the youth at?


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[Assistant] Like I don't, I don't. That's youth compared to, that's youth compared to what's in office right now. No, 35 is youth. You know what I just found out?


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[Assistant] Let's get back to the table, come on, let's get back to the table. A mental sparring, huh?


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[Assistant] I agree. I'm retired bro, I'm about to retire. Fathers of children. I'm about to fucking retire early dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I can't go that deep. I cannot get those details in like any memory.


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[Assistant] I have no problem with that. Just gonna have to work out the whole, you know, nerves thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chicago. It was, uh, I think it was that song on an old clip on Arsenio Hall where the woman is, uh, the woman who starts off that song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yes, it was her, it was her. That's right, that's right, that's right. Different songs, same vibe. Whoa, wait, it was Ders, that's the doc.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, is that right? That's right. I didn't know.


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[Assistant] Did the Milli Vanilli bros get the same treatment? Did those guys get out in front of the camera? Because they were doing the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, of course. What do you mean? Uh, not about it. What do you mean? Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good. What do you mean about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I knew today was gonna be on fire. You felt it? I knew today was gonna be on fire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just knew my boys were coming on fire today. We were coming on fire, dude?


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're all great. I feel like do we, do we go back to that era of music where it's just fun and, uh, we have beautiful people, uh, doing it while the talented people are behind the scenes. That is admittedly pretty good era, pretty good era.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was the musical act, so I was just like, damn, Ellen throws down.


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[Assistant] Like, Ellen just gets fucking ripped before a regular Tuesday show. It would've been very cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ran down the hall, looked both directions, looked back past me again to their publicist, whoever, and they're like, where is he? And they go, he's right there. And then they look at me for five seconds and then they were like, oh shit, what's up, man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then at, you know, they were very, they were very cool once, uh, once they clocked, once they registered that it was a, I was a human being with feelings!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, truly, maybe. Like honestly, Adam?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not everybody. Not everybody. Sure, yeah man, we were all hot as fuck when we were children, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you glue up. At some point in there. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I'll take it. I don't want to argue my glow up, but yeah. But by the way, why do you guys, why do you associate glowing up with, with your body?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Adam was associating the glow up with his physical transformation. I say Adam glue up in several other ways. He glue up in ways.


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[Assistant] I was so bright that they didn't even look at me.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, for sure. And they were super cool and I ended up working out at the same gym with them like a year later. They worked out at that unbreakable gym. What? Wait a minute.


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[Assistant] Hi. I know they performed at Coachella.


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[Assistant] That's cool. Do you guys watch Coachella on YouTube? Do you do couch, check Coachella or do you just skip it all together? You don't, you guys don't give an F.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've, I've done it. I didn't, I didn't watch any, uh, I watched, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, did you do it, Blake? It was tight, dude. I actually, I actually love watching, uh, Coachella from YouTube. I, it, it decreases my FOMO. As you guys know, I have insane FOMO for- Yeah, that's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do. A lot of events. Yeaah. Any event! So uh, to be able to wa- Yeaah. So to be able to watch it live. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He cut the feed for his, he cut the feed for his YouTube. You couldn't even watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, in case, uh, by the time this- In case this hasn't been covered,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still super interesting. Now this is interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, do you, uh, how many times have you been to Coachella, Blake? I wanna say I have been to Coachella life. Have you been? We were working a lot. Every April. We were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It always- So when did you go? I just wanna say I went like four times. I'm not sure what years those aligned with, but I wanna say I went four times. One time I even like slept in my car in the parking lot. Cause I didn't have- I never had like a room to sleep in. I really roughed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sometimes I- sometimes I- Sometimes, just like you come home and you're like, I don't wanna walk up all those stairs, I'm just gonna sleep here. Or just like my drive- my driveway or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened? Michael Jordan's father was murdered that way- that very way.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like getting a hotel would be the more responsible choice.


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[Assistant] But that's what's cool and edgy about Blake. Not, you know, he's not as edgy as you think he is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, if I know, if I know I'm going out and I'm going to have some drinks, I definitely Uber. I don't, I do not drunk drive. That is a very silly mistake to do. With that said, the last time I fell asleep in my car, probably two months ago, cause I had drinks and I didn't know I was going to have them, so I slept in my trunk. I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you are asleep, in your front sleep. No, you climb in the passenger seat. If you sit in shotgun, yeah. Yeah, you sit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you? Are you lying right now? Tell the truth. No, I never have. I wish. I wish. Wait a second. Have you? I was lying. I was lying. That's when he was going through his kinky phase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Yeah, come on. Wait, did you say piss yourself? I did say that.


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[Assistant] No, it's not national, it's worldwide, baby.


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[Assistant] That part just always- We didn't hear that you pissed yourself. You let- Oh, really? I mean, we heard it was a gun store. Yep. Yeah. But we didn't hear that it was- Loose butthole. You pissed yourself, which is a fun-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it doesn't matter man. It's, it's uh, it's definitely a whop-hop and not a good whop-hop.


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[Assistant] I think it is real, Bam. I really do. I think that is a real thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love to, I would love to drive through Kyle's wacky town where he's the mayor and all these, he's made a lot of new different rules. Wacky town? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're eating some shit. Well, that's Nevada. Nevada. That's Nevada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, how do you say Nevada, Blake? How do you say that state? Nevada. That's how you say it? It is definitely Nevada. You think it's pronounced Nevada? I certainly do. Who cares?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do too. Nevada? Nevada. Nevada, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're piling on Blake a little bit because he said Nevada. And I'm just saying- Okay, it's the same as- I've never heard it pronounced that way. I feel like that's- Okay, it's the same as, you know how everybody says zebra? It's definitely zebra. It's definitely zebra. It's not zebra.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not joking, dude. It is definitely supposed to be pronounced Zebra. Dude, motherfucker, so if you're in a safari and a lion is chasing its prey and you're like, Dear God, I hope that lion doesn't get that zebra. That's how you would say it. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's why the English language is a very confusing language to learn, but you as a person


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[Assistant] Who has grown up in America as English being their first language should know that it's Zebra. Okay, you want me to dro- I didn't wanna drop the frickin' bomb on you guys, but you know who pronounces it? Zebra? Drop the bomb. Okay, fuck it, dude. Oh, shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit, charge! You want, you want it straight from the freaking authority? It's charged! What is the name of the Daily Show dude? Trevor Noah says, Zebra. So, that is the right way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they say a lot of things, so you're aligning completely with South African and how they say all things. Yes, where the animal is indigenous, yes, that I'm gonna side with them, okay? I'm not gonna side with eh- First of all, I don't think zebras are indigenous to South Africa.


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[Assistant] I think they are in F, are they? I think they are. I think they are.


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[Assistant] I thought they were more like Sudan or Sudan.


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[Assistant] They're not all up in Chad? They're more indigenous to that area than to frickin' Nevada, which is crazy. It doesn't matter. Thank you.


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[Assistant] So wait, so were you saying it, Ze-, so, okay Blake, so we're supposed to believe in this made up world, we're supposed to believe that you, that you watch The Daily Show. Yes. Daily. Enough to know. Yeah, yeah, we're already out, no I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So one, I don't think you watch the Daily Show, I think I call for shit there. And two, okay, you got me there. So, you've been saying Zebra forever, then you hear Trevor Noah once on the Daily Show, a show I know you don't watch. Like a commercial for it maybe, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That climbed into your brain for eternity, enough to tee off on your three best buds who obviously are right in this very instance. Yeaah, yeaah. Yeaah, I'm taking it back. I'm taking it back. No dude, it, it, you hear it and it makes sense to you. Definitely is not Zebra. There's no way the word is Zebra.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's how, it's how we pronounce it here in America. So we- How many words can you think about that start with ZE that are, are pronounced ZE. It's always ZE. Zeppelin. Ziplock.


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[Assistant] Ziploc. I know a guy with the last name Zeman. But it's not- That's an I. That's Z-I. It's not Zebra either.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Z-E-Z-Z. It's Zeppelin, Ze- Zebra, Ze- Zenith. Producer Becca has how to pronounce Zebra.


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[Assistant] Where is it? Can you play it through yours, Blake? No, no, he'll con- okay, I- Can you play? It's in the link. You play it, Blake. Yeah. And the- and the audience at home is waiting with baited breath.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go. Are you ready? Here we go. Here goes the reveal. Get your life together. Yes, we're ready. Are you, are you ready? Here we go. Well don't puke on the microphone. Oh wait.


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[Assistant] Shh. Shh. Here we go. Here we go. Ready. And, acgeberzabra.


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[Assistant] American Zebra, ya bitch! Oh, American Zebra! Where it- American Zebra.


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[Assistant] Here's what I'm gonna change right now. Being American doesn't have to be mean being ignorant. And the way it should be pronounced is- And it's not-


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[Assistant] You feel like I'm betraying my country? Blake. Yes, Kyle.


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[Assistant] How do you pronounce that name of that? It's a cool flex. It's a little bit of a glow up right here. Okay, go in a can. I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So can is spelled C-A-N-N-E-S. And, uh...


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[Assistant] Yes. Well, I know how I've been told to pronounce it, but I, you know, I've never been there, so. What is it? What is it? How have you been told? I've been told it is can. Can?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not James Con. Con is cons. It just can't. Well, you think like it's in France. Dip it! You wanna put some extra stonk on it, you know? You wanna- It's a con-ese. Juge it up a little bit. Con-es. Yeah, it's weird that it's the most boring- I would say it's probably pronounced con-es. Con-es. Word. It's con. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to Google, it's con. Hey, when it comes to France, I don't give a mu- Hey, straight up, I don't give a fuck.


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[Assistant] How do you do it? Yeah, dude. When, uh, when do you get to go there, Kyle? Yeah, when are you leaving?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the south, it's the south. Oui, oui monsieur. Weird how worldly you guys are. Zebra, zebra. Uh, well that sounds very, very cool dude. That'll be fun. It's gonna be dope. I guess the thing to do is ask French people how they say zebra.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] California. Like the rest of the country is like, what? What the fuck is this? Dude. Yeah, that makes sense. Almond Brothers? Kyle, you know in France what almond milk is, right? I know Almond Brothers. Yeah, more like the Almond Brothers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's almond milk? Frank, hold on, I'm interested. What's almond milk? You know in France what almond milk is, right? What is it? What is it? Oh my god. You don't know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the, so the strike, the Writers Guild of America strike, technically, is it still going on? Dem boys, uh, are on strike right now, and we recorded this in the strike. You guys think it'll still be on by the time this? I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you say over 9 months or under 9 months?


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[Assistant] Will you pick the line? I will say, uh, four months. Over under four months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Under four months for sure, yeaah. We're gonna get this figured out for sure. I think as we-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's going to be over, I think it's going to be over four months. I think it really is. Just, just with the AI component, me and Ders think that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you kind of with us or, uh, or you're, you think it's gonna be under?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the issue is is with the writers guild and what they're fighting for right now and what the studios won't give them essentially is they're saying like you can't have, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Bullshit, man. The cavemen wrote stories, Ders. We've- stories are infinite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we can put things in place so it isn't. So in the movies that we make, right, aren't done by AI. I know, but what are you fighting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which of course, that's just the negotiation tactic. It's like, of course you're going to say nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think they're both. It's a two-headed monster. It's a two-headed monster because it's, that's obviously very important, but... That's hugely important, yea. If no one can have a job in five to ten years because this AI is growing so fast and so quick, then what's the point anyways? You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, Durs is laying down, spreading cheeks for these robots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know why Ders- No, Ders is not not afraid. He's a fucking cyborg. He's gonna fuck robots and he's gonna create cyborg Derses, dude. Ders is AI. We're gonna find out. Yeah. Ders is AI. He is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still good. It could still happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, du-dude, sometimes you have to unplug the robot before it surpasses you. You- That's what I think too. So then do- so do that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well because if a writer can guide the AI to help them in certain ways, but if the studios can just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if you take this out of A.I.? What if you take this out of A.I. or Hollywood? A.Y. What if you, sorry, what if you take this out of Hollywood? Like, technically when you self check out groceries. I already did, I said I don't want people coal mining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you go to, like, when you go to the grocery store and you self-checkout, you, that is, it's not necessarily AI, but it's still a machine taking a person's job. At what, at what point do you say, like, machines, what jobs are okay for machines to take? Only... There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that's, that was one little subsect of the industry. This is the entire industry. And then also... No, I mean, this is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and, and it'll, it'll get to a point where it'll be, okay, you just, the studio's putting out movies that was written by AI starring a 19 year old Brad Pitt. Great. And, you know, like, no, no one gets paid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you say, okay, so ballet is a- But they want whatever is given to them. So they want what is being given to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even when Durr said, like, ballet, like, okay, so I never gave one fuck about ballet, but I am allowed to say, yo. Whoa, this is news. Wait, that's how you say it? Yeah, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I am willing to say that ballet is extremely fucking hard. It's crazy. It's an insane thing to put the human body through. Like, if you are good at ballet. It's like pickleball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not all the way like that, but similar. This is where I'm getting to, Kyle, sports. So as soon as we just watch a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All robot basketball game, we're not watching humans elevate beyond what they're even capable of because the moment and all the things that you add on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that is what's cool about movies is because it's, it's crafted by artists. And that is what's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I will say there, I've seen some AI art that's very good. Yeah, I don't know. I just have some empathy. I have some empathy for our whole industry and this town, Los Angeles that I love and all these people that work for this town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, human built the Muppets. I think it was mostly always the Muppets though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's a subsect of the entertainment industry. It isn't the entertainment industry as a whole. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No dude, no, gas is a fucking, uh, uh, what is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say a natural resource. We are talking about human beings, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] L.A. is just a fucking ghost town and the worst, scariest place to be ever. Cause I like living here. Guys, we are the generation that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, I'm with ya. We should do it. We are the ones who have to say no. Speaking of gas though, I do- We have to say no to the robots. Uh, remember how a few weeks ago I was saying that I want to get a- A new convertible?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, dude, you can, you can do it now. You can do it through dodge. Okay. Sorry, is this a Hellcat? Uh, it can be a command, it can be whatever you want it to be. Top of the line, correct. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice, dude. That's sick. And dude, look, look it up. Look up, uh, Dodge Challenger Convertible. Here, I'll just look it up and put it in the truck. Look it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very shagadelic. Yeah dude, I'm- I'm- God. You sold it to them? Uh, that's sick. I actually just- Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human. Written by a human


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you serious? Shut the fuck up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're stick. They look like they- Rivian, that's a- to me that is a- that is a bad name. Rivian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think Rivian reminds you of Gucci? Fuck off. No, I don't, actually. Yeah, like a green, just like a word, a word that is a little too fancy for you to say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like a, like Robocop mask. Like a Robocop mask. But like Gucci, Gucci doesn't make cars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gucci. Gucci red. Oh, that's cool. Do you have all reds? You're getting a red Rivian. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, the name comes from the Indian River. Dude, those, uh, Polestar cars are kinda, uh, tight too. The what? Polestar? Yeah, Polstars are great looking. Polstars. Yeah, Polstars are pretty cool looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would, uh, that would suck, but not too.


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[Assistant] What's your freaking dream car, bro? What's your number one freaking dream car?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, no, no, that's why I said it's a two-headed monster. You gotta attack both things. It's, you know, they're both, they're both coming for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause it sucks. So, Blake, uh, cause I didn't really, I just sort of saw a headline and was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What they are, uhm, what they're talking about and dancing around is the fact that the Oakland Athletics are basically pretty much moving to Las Vegas instead of staying in Oakland. So, I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think it was this year, didn't they have like a game where there was like 30 fans or something absolutely absurd? They had a game where there was like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A very, very small amount. It's like 3,000, but when you're in that stadium, which is massive, 3,000 people is- Which holds 80,000 or whatever, and there's, yea, or 60,000 probably. It's insane, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The politics of it all is fucking weird, dude. It's like a lot of like, just rich people, uh, just


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[Assistant] Math and- and- But they are leaving, cause I've seen- He has no idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But nobody wants to accept blame for why the team is leaving. Yes, no one goes to the games anymore, but it's kind of in protest because the ownership


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gross fucking stadium that I love. The colosseum, the colosseum. That I went to and had a blast. Yeaah dude, it rocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You stayed in Chicago. Hmm? Stayed in Chicago. Well, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Okay. Yeah, people went to games. And that's essentially...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not true. No, that's what an outsider would say.


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[Assistant] Last year the team set a new 40 year low when only 2,488 fans showed up to a game in May. Now in 2023 they're logging similarly low numbers. That's- And that's a shame, that's too bad. There are two things. There are two things! That is my high school-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are two things that account for low attendance.


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[Assistant] Get em. A1. A1. The fucking Colosseum is super old, outdated. The average person with less history. They're from the 60s. The fucking cubs have existed forever. Forever. It's an established place. That's not true either, but go ahead. It has a...


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[Assistant] The ownership trades away anybody. Why are we talking about sports even?


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[Assistant] The roster, they trade away anybody who's any good because they're trying to tank the team because the ownership wanted to get the fuck out of Oakland. And they did it. They succeeded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They succeeded. Yeah, at the, at the fucking, the fans get fucked. So fuck that. It's not on the fans. That's what I'm saying to Durz. It's not on the fans. That's bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm with you, you need a good owner. No, the Cubs were bad forever. You can't pull up to a shitty coliseum with no team. They always tried to compete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Actually, I actually have- Well, they're fun, but there's only 2,400, 2,500 people, and everybody's spread out, so you're not even around other fans, really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and Blake, you could still be, I understand the nostalgia factor of like going back to the same place and taking your kids to the same baseball stadium that you went to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, it is the same team and they're moving to Vegas. Technically that is closer. They're gonna have a brand new stadium. To me? Uh, closer to you, exactly. Uh, that's what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll go to opening dad. I'd love to. Yeah. So are you still going to be a fan or are you like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you, are you- Will I still be a fan of the A's? Of the A's, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're over. Uh, the playoffs have been unreal. Unbelievable. And I cannot wait. Look at Jimmy Buckets. We have to drop this episode next week. We might have to. It's a whoopwap. Uh, nah, nah. This one jumps the line. No, this is not a whoopwap. It's not a whoopwap.


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[Assistant] Maybe, maybe this episode's coming out tomorrow. I don't know. Let's, let's ask Isaac. I don't think so. I don't think so.


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[Assistant] Go ahead, yeah. Well don't, yeah, Phil, just push it.


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[Assistant] Now this fervor, this fervor word that we're using so often, Durst, did you know this word? Or did you just look this up? And also, can somebody please tell me what it means?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Except for a pickleball. Except for a pickleball. I do need to play pickleball and practice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For polyps, you know what I mean? Like some cancerous polyps.


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[Assistant] I did hear something about that theater. The dry heat. I heard that theater is in the round, which is kinda cool. Like, it's...


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[Assistant] That's the show me state. That's the show me state, right?


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[Assistant] That's perfect. Honestly, that's, that's perfect for me. I like to have a good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm watching. Adam is now, he's got his, he's pretending like he has one tit in each hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well so mine is, mine is, mine is touching the thigh. Mine's touching the thigh. My, my belly is touching the thigh.


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[Assistant] I kind of felt like I was like alright, and then I got on the scale.


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[Assistant] I want all the bootleg merch. I want all the bootleg merch. That's for sure.


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[Assistant] I'm 40 years old now and I finally understand your 25 year old style.


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[Assistant] Yeah, is that somebody that's just doing ad libs or is that him?


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[Assistant] You know what I mean? I feel like you're always- how many EPs are there? How many EPs is in the whole thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what vibe are we fucking talking about? Because just the entourage vibe?


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[Assistant] Yeah, like the MCR vibe. You remember it. We didn't have it. Cause I was MCR vibe. I was like my chemical romance vibe. Is that what you're talking about or no? We did not have the vibe. That's a San Diego thing, isn't it?


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[Assistant] I was on that vibe, y'all are trippin'. You think you come in here and you tell me that I'm not a part of this vibe?


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[Assistant] Saturated. So the vibe was saturated. Is that what's up? We saturated it? Saturated with photos?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was fashion. Vice was fashion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was music too? I guess I don't even remember. I just remember it being news, like, but I guess that's after the first wave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Emo? Weren't they more emo than goth? It's emo. It's like, it's like the hot pink van stripes, you know? I'm not even in this world, but I know fashion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you never jumped on, you never jumped on skate or surf culture, right? Durs, you're mostly outdoorsy mountains.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but you got even more of a vibe because you're not like outwardly projecting the vibe. So we, it works on you. It doesn't quite. Oh, thank you, Kyle. Thank you, Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wear some Tommies. Just wear some Tommy Hill figures, bro. What's wrong with that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like 40 years old. I'm 40 years old now and I finally understand your 25 year old style. Like I feel like I can wear what you were wearing when you were 25.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like nice, like, yeah, like nice shorts. You were wearing like, dockers. Hey, you don't run in here! You were wearing dockers or something, weren't you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You weren't really skate, you weren't skate culture in high school. You did it once you moved to LA when you were in the Mecca of Cool. Me? Yeah, when you were in the Mecca of Cool. Yeah, what was your, what was your vibe in...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basketball. Basketball, you definitely sat in basketball like senior year in a major way. I remember that. And you're not sat in basketball?


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[Assistant] Yes, I have. When's the last time you, oh yeah, we have actually been on the court with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, Adam, when we all used to play, when we used to play basketball in like 2002 on the beach in Newport, Blake was actually pretty, he was a solid player.


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[Assistant] Do you think TK's the best at basketball out of all of us? I'm not letting him have that. There's no way.


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[Assistant] See, y- not true. I don't know, aren't you like six foot one? Yeah, you're over six, you can play. That's- that's how tall- No! God no!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, what? How tall are you? I thought you were 6'1". No, heavens no! Wait, I think I'm like 5'11".


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[Assistant] Drama? The skaters, skaters love comedy, bro. Look at, look at it. You're in, you're in with the right crew. You're there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, leave me the fuck alone, guys. What the fuck? They need a funny guy cracking jokes. Pivot, pivot, pivot. This isn't important.


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[Assistant] No, you guys are just- If you lower the hoop, you just have another classification of big men, according to how Ders is- Exactly.


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[Assistant] Oh yea, no, I'm out. There's no fucking way, dude. That's gonna, that's gonna kill my shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's on the bottom half of your outfit right now? What's the bottom half? What's on the box?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the bottom half? Is it shorts or is it? Oh, basketball shorts. Is b-ball shorts?


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[Assistant] Yeah, he's like, uh, he's deep in it. I wanna hear his deep thoughts. You, I just kinda want you to be funny and act, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never too late. You could have that chapter and you'd probably be alright. You could probably open up that chapter right now, dude. You got those out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Oh right, you hit the flight and you were fucking like bugged out. Oh, that's right.


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[Assistant] Dude, did you get your, did you get your sixer back? You got your six pack back? What's up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's not a lot of, not a lot of like, hey, how are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That doesn't sound too bad. Fish soup, right? What is this? Wunterkraken? What was this shit that we had?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was just a white fish? Like a white fish? White pickled fish? It was a bagel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is that, like a sardine is a pickled fish? Is that a, is that a pickled fish? That's right.


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[Assistant] Dude, I think it sounds horrible, but I actually think I dig it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they take their time. Every time I had, I mean, they would take their time in the kitchen over there in Italy, right? I mean, like, that shit's not coming out very quick. You're sitting there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta chill, bro. You gotta chill. Let the kitchen do their thing. Yeaah. I gotta get to Italy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, I mean, as a father, you're probably on like high alert being in another space and trying to like watch them and say, you know, right? Yeah, that's stressful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but did you get like tap water? Cause if you got tap water, that's Voss water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, do you remember when, uh, do you remember in high school and shit and also in college when it was like 420 and all the fellow stoners would walk around saying happy holiday? Yeah, that's freaking sick. That was my favorite shit, dude. Happy holiday. Drugs make me cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, you guys are about to have a thought battle? It's a, you can do it after work. I think that's allowed now. One before that was not allowed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, were you really scared of bots of stuff when you were a kid? Did things like really throw you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a really scary movie. I kinda thought all that stuff was kinda cool. I was like, sick dude. I guess I didn't get the joke. It made me go like, do you hallucinate when you drink?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because obviously I haven't been drunk yet, and I was like, oh shit, it's about to be on. Give me a few more years, I'm gonna be saying penguins. Yeah, they really paint dreams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just talking to a teammate the other day about how you got, you got like black out on like a Tuesday, uh, when he just was trying to have a chill night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it wasn't quite blackout, but it was like, yeah, you know, I wasn't even planning on time went on and Blake was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who listens to the pod? He was throwing you onto the bus, dog. He was like, yeah. Blake was like, I was playing on having a chill night and Blake was like, yo dude, the basketball game's on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe I heard what I wanted to hear. Maybe that's what happened.


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[Assistant] Well, Atiba is like a super, Chloe always says that he's like our coolest friend. Cause he's, you know.


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[Assistant] He's always, he's always, he's a professional photographer. He like knows rock, he hangs out with rock stars all the time.


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[Assistant] So whenever I see him, I always like, I just hold on to a skateboard. And I know you do that too, Blake. Uh, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You're a pretty cool guy. You guys should kiss.


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[Assistant] There was a lot of acorns, a lot of gravel on the road. It wasn't great roller baiting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in his backyard, he had like a little uhm, like mini ramp, and then he had like a nice paved area.


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[Assistant] And then I would ride my bike over to his house wearing my roller blades cause we were gonna blade when we were there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'd be, I think my knees might be able to handle a blade. Maybe that's what I do for exercise now. I'm a blader boy. Enough with the bike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just gotta lace them up. Yea, I remember the boot. Yea, you gotta tighten them tight. Real tight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laces, and you tuck the laces down in between the ratchets and then you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you guys, you guys were from rich families? What's going on?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, the same exact thing. I was like, I loved rollerblading. I was a real fruit booter as the skateboarders called me. Uh, and I was like, I'm going to be do indoor hockey. And then my mom took me to the place to buy pads and equipment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, that man was growing. We get it man, your parents are rich bro, damn dude. He was growing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's put that on. Hey, remember when we painted your brother's, uh, nutsack yellow and then he did the splits and then there's a little yellow dot on the floor of the workaholics house?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? I'm gonna turn the radio down. This is a little crass for me in the morning when I'm driving into work. It wasn't that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Through, through all, all of the workaholics seasons, we, we had the little yellow dots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, save it for the cartoon. Dude, save it for, uh, that will never happen, cause Paramount Plus doesn't want anything to do with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Alright. This is good. This is good. This is important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, we use rats to bring the phone over, yes. Right, exactly.


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[Assistant] It hurts so bad. You guys all helped me get up.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you, you sell him, uh. He's like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do. The man without a face. I do not. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well guys, if we, if we do a movie, if we ever get to do a movie together again, by the way, Point Grey just, and I re-tweeted it, or Instagrammed it, said that it was five years ago today that Game Over Man came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like the balls, to stay on theme with the one movie that we've done together, uh, I should have at least part of my dick out, and I think maybe the balls on the floor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's a good idea. Or, or little mites. Little mites.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was because of like the weird drugs that they used to go on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she has, guys, and she has 14 kids now.


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[Assistant] You have to. She's filming the attempts. And that's, that's, yeah, that's what is pornographic. It's just her having all these kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn, son. And Lexington Steel is the doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has a chocolate frozen banana stand somewhere and he's like, get it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we know Lexington Steel is owning a frozen banana stand because it just makes perfect sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I met him. I'm not in the guild. Ders, who was the, the act, the pornographic male actor? I've met him once at the gym.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's cause he's known for his amazing amount of ejaculate. Like he's known for his.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, yeah, admittedly, that is a cool job. Imagine you just cause you always have to be positive. Sometimes you just meet a kid and you're like, oh, you're, you're fucked. You're a total idiot. You're kind of mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, he has like long, cool, curly hair, kind of flops it off to the side, he's got like- No!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he wears, like, all over print Marvel, like, all over print t-shirts, sells them on the side, he's kinda hip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but is it happening at the same rate with men in schools or- No, no, dudes-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I don't know. Honestly, I don't, I don't know. Because it hasn't made the news. It's not newsworthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're probably, you're probably true. I think, you know what guys?


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[Assistant] He could deliver some really harsh shit and I'd be like, well alright, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Avalon was, our management company was producing something like that when we first signed up with them. That's why we signed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did the naked news, dude. It was a dating show for Playboy, but also naked though, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, what do you got? What else? Getting a little torqued. Yeah. Just staring at dick close-ups?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well maybe also, you know, maybe the person that's being, that is naked up there, maybe the person who is the one judging, maybe they're really bad at sex, or maybe they, their dick is horrific.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like this is not Union. Yeah, I feel like this is not a Union show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called Sexy Beast. Which is not Eye of the Beholder even a little bit, but-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, how hilarious is it? Cause you think that they're gonna cast good looking people who are also very nice kind people. Imagine they like are kind nice people and then they pull off their fucking thing and they're just even worse than what their makeup was and you're like ahhhh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you, do your kids, are they old enough to appreciate Austin Powers yet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but that's half the fun of watching that. Very shagadelic. Well sure, but like the sexual stuff, it's just how goofy it is. I feel like they would like the like, the like how he's talking and like the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're in 5th grade, Blake. Yeah, 4th or 5th grade. We're in 10th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, imagine all the Komodo dragons and stuff that are hiding in there. Oh, so many.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, we'll stop. Any take backs? Apologies? What was my take back earlier? I wanted to take back pulling the nuts. Pulling nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which obviously, you know, I walked that back right away, but I would like to officially take that back, because kids don't do that. If you're gonna paint your nuts and do the splits in front of your friends,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have your, get an old pair of sweatpants, cut a hole in it, have your friend pull their nuts out for you, and then have your friend


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Named Blake Anderson, paint your nuts like yellow. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, yeah, I think he would really enjoy it because I think it's playful enough that he would like still, it wouldn't be too scary or weird and he wouldn't get most of the sexual stuff anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was just like, there was like a rape in the first like 15 seconds. Is there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And hypersexual and all the things. And you're suggesting this. And it's like a dystopian future and you were like, I'm too young to watch this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like what's happening on Twitter is- Yea, Anders apparently, yea, it's still- I know, but I mean like by and large, like- Right. Are you guys tweeting? Absolutely not. I haven't put a tweet out there- We're talking by and large. I haven't put a tweet out there in probably-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Six years, by and large, six years. By and large, have you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not on TikTok, but- You should be on YouTube Stories. What are you doing? Exactly. YouTube Stories are, uh, what a fail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But exactly, they're still on Twitter, that's the thing. The whole point of the internet is to fucking turn and burn, man. What are you still doing on Twitter?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, in a major way, you kinda have to be, cause it's like, what is your ritual where you have to put this thing out there, and how often are you fucking tweeting? It's like, do you ever shut up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, like shut up. I don't even go there because I don't want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Adam, what's an example where you're like, I gotta get on Twitter, like legit. You can say, I'll give you one joke and then I wanna hear it legit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he's still, that guy's still going. Yeah, well you can't give up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, Kyle? What the fuck are you guys talking about? You're just talking about somebody who's still tweeting? What are you talking about right now? Kyle quit when Elon Musk bought Twitter. Kyle was out. Well, fuck Tesla. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not turning my back on it, I'm just kind of over it because my, my Y has been taking a shit. I've had an X, a three, and a Y. I've had three of them. Okay. And I've watched the human element. Ah damn bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The winner! I've had experiences with them and I've, it was great at first and now you cannot talk to a human. You cannot. Like I've had- Oh yea yea, customer service wise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, whatever, I just, it's so confusing, like my car has died two times, the front motor has gone out on the road, and then it's basically just like a fucking... Okay, okay, but Kyle, Kyle...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that I would be able to understand is probably like French or Spanish. I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is crazy how often French people are like, problem solving my like, technical stuff. They're like, bonjour, and I'm like, ugh, this person's not gonna understand me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always sucked. This one's... Yeah, this one's a little tough to time right now. It's gonna be tough for Todd to time this one, but... The clap-in was awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, lemon law. Lemon law that shit. Damn, dude. Well, I lease it, so... It doesn't matter. You'll get all your lease money back. Oh, hello. Talk to me about this. What are you talking about? I did it when I had, I got the first like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got nothing bad to say about Volvo terrific machines. Well, they are. I got like their first electric hybrid that they had with the XC90 like way back in the day, 2016 maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it just, the motor and the engine weren't talking to each other in the right way. And I had to go to the shop multiple times. And if you just have that information and you submit for a lemon law here in California, and you're under I think 30 or 35,000 miles, you get every penny back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, so that's what this is. This is, this is in the lemon law. I can get all this back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're going right past Harris Ranch. In a Tesla, it's like seven, cause you gotta charge and you gotta stop and charge a motherfucker. You can't make it all the way up there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I promise Elon Musk is not limiting what you can watch under Tesla.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, yeah, maps, but like- You're doing everything. It's a Tesla. It's a fucking Bose computer with wheel- or a Bose speaker with wheels, you know what I mean? It's like, it's doing everything. I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there is, because dude, when you're in a Tesla, which is essential, when you're in a Tesla, and essentially it is an iPhone, a speaker, a piece of fucking tech that you get. Wait, a speaker and an iPhone are two very different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know when your phone is on the fritz? Adam, you know this. You have a tech ghost. Okay, Adam is getting personal now. Yeah, this is good. Adam, you know this. You have a tech ghost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I keep hearing that, huh? When I go on Twitter, uh... Well, the thing is, when it starts to die, when you're out there, and it, and it fails, it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You hard reset your fucking car. You're like out there hard resetting this thing, and I'm like, no, and it has autodrive. And so you're like, well what happens, what the fuck is going on here? Yeah, but what if your fucking engine block breaks? What if your carburetor pops or your blood? Yeah, and then all of a sudden like, well you can't even


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This part of the company is it's, it's up to you. It's good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you just hit the app. I mean, this part is kinda dope, but this is the part that's a catch-22. You hit the app, you say, I have problems, and then what happened to me recently is they're like, we're gonna just leave your car. Leave your car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you get a ride wherever you're at and you just leave your fucking car and we'll come pick it up when we have time. Adam's already like, sounds awesome. What is wrong with that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was weird when I was out and I was going to dinner up in Calistoga and it was like all of a sudden I have, there was no cabs, there was no, I had to leave this thing on the side of the road and it was in the middle of nowhere at like 11 o'clock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right. So if you're in a regular ice combustion engine car, uh, and it breaks down, what's the difference?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can call any tow truck to come pick you up. You can call the nearest tow truck to come get you. Right. Right? You can't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you have to, you have to, they have to send their, cause it's, it's, you can't unlock the wheels, you can't just grab the car, you have to go in and program it and stuff. I'll grab it alright, watch me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is where I, this is where I ran into like the uuuh. But if I may, Adam, if I may. You may. At least you know that it's going to a Tesla certi- Hey, Ders, you may. At least you know it's going to a Tesla certified like place as opposed to like those classic 90's movies where they're like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, look at him, his eyes can go dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember how the Fairly Brothers always had like that like, they almost had their own like players, their own little stable of actors that they put in every movie and there was one guy who'd be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember our boy we were going to put in? We were going to do that with the WORKHOLICS MOVIE! I found out that the dad from Kindergarten Cop was from like Mobile when I was filming there. They were like, you know, nobody ever came out of Mobile except for that guy. And I was like, yeah, crisp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was one of their, like, players. He's got a little thing about him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Three O'clock High, legendary movie if you've never seen Three O'clock High.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the bully's like, I'm gonna kick this shit out of you at 3 o'clock. So then he's got the entire school day to like, get out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, okay, bitch. Talk to me, bitch. What is it? It's a plane goes down in the Philippines, and then they gotta, like, survive. These, like, gorilla dudes are coming after them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying you're breaking up, I'm saying we're breaking up. Yeah. Should we tell them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's Gerard Butler. It's basically Gerard Butler doing one of his like, straight to streaming movies or whatever. But this one went to theaters and I went with a bunch of comedy writers, which you guys know is not like my thing to do to like go to a movie and shit all over it live. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yes, those are the movies, those are the movies that kind of, uh, took him into that world of like, essentially just financing a movie and then just getting like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was being interviewed and said something about like somebody in his family was like attacked by somebody who happened to be black and he was so angry by it that he went out walking and he was like, Oh, I remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, after that they were pretty much like, so the movies you're gonna make are over this way. Right, yea, yea, have fun. And by the way, he still makes a grip because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody in like, a ton of countries gives a shit about what he said. Uhm. And, uh, he's still making money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gotta be seventy-five? Seventy-seven? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I forgot Blake wakes up, Googles you, then does stuff. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta send you to my guy. Adam, I had to get an MRI, uh, this week on my back because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got major fucking shit happening. Now they're like, you gotta go talk to a surgeon. And I'm like, oh my god, really? Cause of pickleball? On your back? Why? Cause of pickleball? It's not because of pickleball. There's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm numb and like- You have a ruffle. I have like a growth on my fucking back. I have a growth on my fucking spine, dude. No. Yeah. Well that's not good. From ruffles? I don't know what the fuck it is. I just found out today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know enough about it, but dude said you might want to talk about the surgery because where this is pressing, if it grows, like, he's like, first of all, he said there's nothing to worry about, except if it does grow, when you get older, you might be incontinent. What is incontinent? Like you gotta shit through a bag?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm getting plugged in up here to like my general practitioner and all that stuff and just like, I'm like, oh god, here we go. I bet you are. Plug your Tesla in, bitch. I'mma find out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dig deep. This is it. And then you get prepped for the next fucking, you know, ten years of your life or however long it's gonna be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As soon as this dude said I got a fucking thing on my back, and he was like, you could be incontinent later on in life if you don't handle it, I'm like- That's the poop pants. I'm like, is this- That's the poop one. Why I've had fucking issues with like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine how good at pickleball you'd be if you weren't shitting your pants all the time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I've talked about it before, my fissures, my fissures and my hammies, my fissures and my hammies, my hammies. Oh, sure. But, but this could all be walked back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you are. I didn't either. I thought that's just when you had a big old turds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Adam is like Sandman. Adam is the Sandman of the friend group. He can just kind of absorb


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Only if they make you get up early. Is there a time where you have to get up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just gonna change all the clocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get a little sploosh. If you get a little sploosh right here, it's not a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, drink, uh, can you put a shot of alcohol in your mouth and then spit it out or not? Like, like mouthwash it? Yea, it's like, it's like, your question is, what are the lines? But why would you? What are the lines? Your question is, where is the line?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I know that I will smell if I want to partake and be like, oh, what is that? I'll fucking throw my nose up in it and fucking smell it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I can, I can smell it. I, I don't know, I mean I, I have never taken a drink. I've never taken a sip and then not swallowed it. Like, I haven't, I've just smelled. That's it. That's my boy. That's my guy. Yeah, okay, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, yeah, I don't know, cause I want you to taste, I want you to taste the consistency of the smooge. And I'm just wondering if like you can like put it in your mouth and then spit it out. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And slapping the bag is where you take the- Franzio, right? Bladder out of the box of wine? Uh, yeaah, boxed wine, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. That's really cool, Kyle. I know, I remember smacking it hard. I just thought there was like a number thing where you had to smack it once or twice or hard or soft or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't know, Adam, it would be between Adam and Blake. You'd be, you'd be a wild success. It would be between you two, I think, right? You're on base now, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that cool? Yeah. Hey, Jimmy? I just want to apologize. I just yesterday finally saw Avatar and I'm sorry about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to go, oh yea, none of this is real. This is all animated, it all looks real, but the animals are fucking dope, like, I don't know, I just think it's so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did the geography, like how does he know that they're gonna fall this way when it's turning and like water's filling up this way and now they're in this room? It's just crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so good. And my kids, I don't think they'd been to a 3D movie because they were trippin' on it. They were like reaching out for stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, wait, but here's a question. Here, here, so there was somebody sitting behind me talking the entire time. Okay. And I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus fucking Christ, like what the fuck is going on? Then I realized they were translating for somebody. Oh. Okay? Okay. Wow. So like they were with a- From like French to English or something? I mean, so... Older... French dudes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a old, it was like an old Asian lady and maybe her daughter or younger Asian person was like, uh, translating it, right? At least that's what I ended up figuring out because they would only talk like right after everyone talked and I'm like, Jesus, is this okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to- Well, then what are they- Or what if it's like a blind person? Is it okay to hear somebody be like, okay, then now they're on the dragons? They're flying? Yeaah. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta have the 3D experience. Was the theater packed? No, it was not packed. It was like 3.30. It was like right after school. So there should be a space. That's fair. There should be a space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you gotta go to the back row, no? Yes, yes they do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, trans showing. Well, can't you just like when you go to Alcatraz like when you go visit Alcatraz and shit you put on the little like history things and you get yeah


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About how he ate a lime and I said, you could do that? You could eat a lime? Like skin and all? But you know I can, Kyle. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're illegal, right? That's what, that's what we're saying. They're illegal. They are actually illegal to take.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know enough, I don't know anything about this stuff. I don't know what it is. Roid rage is a thing. It's illegal. I don't do illegal stuff, okay? It's illegal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is what it is. They are regulated under the Controlled Substances Act as a Schedule III Controlled Substance and may not- Ah, so it's like not even-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so check this out. May not be possessed lawfully in the United States without a prescription. So, if you know a doctor, you can get yourself in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is exactly how like, this is exactly like, you know, whatever 12 years ago, I had to go to Venice to get my prescription so I could buy marijuana legally. This is where that's where.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said I had sometimes trouble sleeping and sometimes back injury, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I wouldn't do it. No, this is real. I got a buddy. I got a buddy who's on this. It's real. It's like you're, you're, you're test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, your testosterone levels deplete, so basically you can shoot yourself up with some tests and throw that in your body and then you have more regulators so you keep your muscle mass. It gives you your fucking shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my buddy does, I think my buddy does shot to the butt of the test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, 250, 300? Dude. No, you go for the 50. 50's gonna be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, does it make your hair fall out? No, I'll get more hair. This is testosterone. I'll get more hair. This is testosterone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do feel like that'll be me in prime. That'll be me in my prime. When that happens, that's my prime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Adam's saying if you have high tests, you can lose it. He says if you have too much tests, you can lose it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if you could get super jacked with your tests or you regulate your stuff but your hair comes out, are you good with that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 69, dudes! Adam, you don't need to do that for me to love you. I already love you. I don't need the Autobahn to love you, bud. The mighty Mississippi River!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was confused, I saw it, but I was lip reading and I was confused. Were you- oh, you were lip reading.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Liver King was too tight packed. He's packed. He's too packed in there. No, no wiggle room. Uh-uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, thank you. Yeah, Grease is required viewing bro. Grease is, that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grease? Yeah, well that was, I mean, my mom made me watch that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Friends of each other. Right. Right. Work friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's my very best friend. I mean Blake, you were probably just poking that side of it, really walking him to the line if he was in the decision making process of like saying no. You took him to the no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That then forced him to be like, to actually maybe visualize a life without it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Song and dance man. He's always, he was always singing around the house, calling himself a song and dance man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always like that cause you could say handjob.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called the hand jive, but it was fun if you pretend like they were saying handjob. That was always fun. Oh shit, that is fun, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that would be like sixth to sixth grade, sixth or seventh grade. On a ski lift?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To completion? You got on a ski lift, it's so cold! Wasn't on a ski lift, it was in the back of a van.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why were you doing that? I don't know, I just like being- To get chicks, dude, and evidently it worked. You got a handjob when he was in 6th or 7th grade. Oh no, dude, it was 6th grade. I remember, it was this fucking thing called- You got a handjob in 6th grade?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should do, uh, you should trade that in for some scissors, bud. Congratulations. Yeah, you can if you want it. What are we, what are you, what's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's not all your dick. What, do you think that a man's mustache is not on a man's body? What are you talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, you can use that on your face. Yes, well, you could scape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have a neared, if you do happen to have that problem of the neared, you just, I suggest using, uhm, scissors. Just trade in your clippers for scissors and go at it at a case by case basis and just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, go over there. No, that's a good spot. That's a good spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, dude, it worked for me. It was too thick. I wanna- It was too thick. It was too- He's not funny unless he can't grow a mustache. It was too real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we were, that was what? Last couple seasons. Oh sure, but you were 30 and 31. 33, 34. What? No you weren't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was 2016. I put it on the date. It was on the sides that I sent you that I found in the vo the other day. The date is literally there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ders, that, Ders, that's not when it aired, buddy. That's, I'm telling you, the date, 11, 14, 16, is when we were shooting that scene. That was on the side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, oh, oh, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, no, we were, so when is that? They're saying March 15th, 2017 is when we aired last?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's nothing you can do? There's nothing you can do for like your cardio as you're dealing with this groin issue?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did it come out that the liver king was fucking doing stairs? It was like an email. It was like a leaked email.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, right. Also, what are the lines like? Cause aren't there like new steroids that can come out? And then it's like, they're not actually an illicit drug. It's something else like the, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. Dude, I gotta watch it. I haven't, I haven't seen it. I gotta watch it. Oh, rules.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just wa- I watched it last night. I haven't seen it. I've heard a lot about it. I've heard, I've heard a lot about it. I just haven't. Like a lot of people pushing me to watch it. I just haven't done it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was these things called like, uh, television shows back in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be nice. It would be nice. Is that what they want? 2%? That seems like a shitty amount, but that's probably- It's a wha-pwap! Is that a wha-pwap amount?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Admittedly, looking at all the signs that were written by WGA members, I was like, oh maybe we need some AI to help us write some of these signs, cause they were bad. A lot of them were really bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or they were like so wordy that a car driving past couldn't read all that. You're like, it just needs to be like a few words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I was like, uh, this is a fun sign, so I was carrying it around, and my DMs, I posted a photo, Kristen Schaal's like, let's grab a photo. Uh, our friend, Kristen Schaal, uh, very funny comedian, and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. And, uh, super, super funny. And she's like, let's get a pic. Hold up. She sent it to me. Taller than you think. And I, uh, posted it. People in my DMs were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was very very edgy for Chaplin to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard you say that. So your uncle was like kinda pro Hitler, is that what you're saying? And was like, dude, you can't, we're trying to make like a funny comedy, don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're going, so you're going to visit him at his burial site there? I'm gonna find the burial site. Does he have a proper headstone or no because it's war and they just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I will say like, I've never been to anywhere communist, uh, but then shooting in Berlin last year, and we were in East Berlin, and you just see like the difference between like West Berlin,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everything's like newer and nicer and then East Berlin was like all the old buildings and you see like the communist housing and it's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' depressing looking. And you're like, my god. This is like, uh, you could see how they just made everything the exact same and there was no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Style, they didn't put any, there wasn't, nothing was nice or they didn't go above and beyond because everything had to be the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a good idea in theory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, as far as Kyle, uh, since you know so much about communism, uh, do you feel like- Perfect!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you are, let's say you're like a, you, you're a doctor or something or, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you get paid the same amount as if you are a plumber or like a, you know, you lay bricks or something? Or like a really cool actor? As far as communism works?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, you cannot misspeak. Not on this podcast. No way. We will hang you out to dry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well, that's cool, Kyle. I mean, it's, what is cool, uh, is that you, like, worked with two of the most influential, uh, people in Hollywood. You know what I mean? Orson Welles and Charlie Chaplin. Very cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, how did you find them? Where did you find them at? What's happening? You like went on an archaeological dig?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trumbo was the Bryan Cranston movie and he, uh, played, uh, Dalton Trumbo who was this writer who was blacklisted and then wrote Dalton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you reached out to her and she's like a super old lady now and she has these journals and then you... Yeaah, she just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's radical. Yeah. Oh well, so how are you related? Like what is the, the bloodline or whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that would be a great, a great great uncle or something. That's huge. Yeah. So cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's really cool. So Adam and I- Do you guys have any, uh, like famous, uh, relatives in your past or anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A guy in Jesse, no, Jesse James, the porn star. The actress?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the Jesse James Gang. And my great great uncle was in the Jesse James Gang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no, he wasn't in that movie, he died like, uh, in the, whatever, whatever year that was, the 30s? 40s?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's this guy doing over here? No, that 1960s through the 1882 is when, uh, Jesse James 18- 1960s to 1882? Do we know 1866 through 1882?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I'm sure my mom has it written down somewhere, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, supposedly they're, like someone said we're related to Taika, but I've never heard any real... That's kinda crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They put, they put the ugg, they put the uggos out front, cause they're not, no one's looking at them, you know? You put the bandits out front to keep an eye, because no one's gonna like... Right. Ooh, look at that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I love that earlier I thought the Jesse James Gang was 1930s. I was like, maybe the 30s? Way, way off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 1866 through 1882 was his years, that he was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe not covered, but like, fucking wagons. She died when she was 104, and I got to know her when I was a kid, and she would tell like, she knew the guy. It was her...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was related to him. It was like her, so she knew him. And, uh, she straight up like, uh, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, she, I don't think she knew him. I think she was her uncle or something, so maybe it was my great-granduncle. But anyways, she, so she like remembers before cars. She was like, I remember the first time I saw a car. Oh damn. Yeah. It was like crazy shit. What? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did you find that out? That is sick. When did you find out about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Howard, I feel like I need to re-watch Howard the Duck, uh, because it gets no love. You never see anyone post about it or talk about it. You see people post and talk about older movies sometimes, but never ever ever do they talk about Howard the Duck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, oh yea, hey wait, by the way, Todd just put it in the chat, the photo of the duck titties. Buddy, your memory of how dope these duck titties are is a little-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you guys seen the new Guardians of the Galaxy? I've been wanting to see it, I have not gotten out to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard it was great. Oh yea, people are really really digging it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's cool, he's cool. I went to a, I went to a screening of a movie at, uh, my agency the uh, like a week ago, week or two ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bighead must weigh 150 pounds. He was so lean. Very slight. Really? Yea. Just like lean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, they all are. Like, no body fat. It's all muscle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's muscle. I mean, I'm exaggerating. I bet, I bet he's like a hundred and eighty pounds, hundred and seventy pounds. But, but like. That's huge. That's bigger than me. Well yeah, Blake, you're a tiny man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, we're talking pot. We pivoted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A couple weeks ago, well there's, you know, there's not much out there. I saw air. I got super high and watched, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I will say the, I mean, to pivot topics, cause I don't have a child, so, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've seen the first Guardians of the Galaxy and I saw the first Iron Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, and I might have seen, I mean, I've seen some of the Spider-Man ones, not the newer ones, but the old ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the first Black Panther, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Movie theaters aren't gonna come back if they're gonna pull- Exactly, they- Like, the word of mouth can't build if they put it on a streamer within a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely. That being said, it sure was fun going to the theater. Air was a really good movie. Uh, I really enjoyed it and, uh, it was fun being in a movie theater. And now I'm like itching to get back in. I didn't see the second Guardians of the Galaxy so I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Blake, Blake doesn't support our industry that he works in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, uh, to watch at the theater. I-I really get a kick out of it, uh, just being there with other people. I did, until Arclight closed. Thanks, Covid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Fast, Facts X is gonna be the next movie that comes in theaters that I'm gonna go see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's, there's people's whole job is to figure out exactly how long to keep a movie in a, in the theater and blah blah blah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they are not. The 100 people that make the decisions absolutely are not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've seen those. Oh, I saw Winter Soldier. I never saw those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dollar, dollar bills, y'all. Well, this is a very, very Hollywood episode of... I think we win this. ...Pollywood. This is important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think they want to see cool movies, like, uh, I, you know, I don't know if they want to see really small movies, but I think they want to see, like, magical...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whether it's a big spectacle or like a, like a beetle juice wasn't necessarily a huge spectacle, but it was really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very interesting movie. I think people would go see a cool movie like that. Beetlejuice could be big though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, yeah, but I don't see Beetlejuice as a small...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. You know what I mean? It's still like a fun, weird, cool movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I was just saying if Beetlejuice came out now, I think people would go see that in the theater. If, if it was marketed well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Speaking of good word of mouth. I'm calling that stoop. Is my buddy Jake Samansky. He directed the show Jury Duty on Amazon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so essentially it is a ton of hidden cameras and, uh, they say they're doing a documentary on jury duty and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of the 12 jurors, 11 of them are actors and there's one guy who thinks he's just there for jury duty. So all this crazy and the judge is an actor and the bailiff's an actor, everybody's an actor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, so he, so the, I mean the show is so, so funny and I mean they did such a great job of casting this guy because he's just like a great guy. Just like, no, he's just like a great dude. He's like a truly,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he's a great guy. Keep watching, he's like truly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, oh yeaah, I didn't see that, but sure. You're right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say mean things behind people's backs or like kinda shit on someone and he always takes the high road and you're like, it's a real breath of fresh air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's on, eh, freebie. That's really cool. It's on freebie, which is the free TV that Amazon is doing, you know, like, uh, like, uh, Roku, or, you know, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, but you can, if you have Amazon Prime, you can just watch it. Great. On Amazon. Yeah. Cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So check it out. Do you have any, uh, take backs, apologies, or any epic slams?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd like to, I definitely said a lot of, uh, really wrong things this podcast too, like trying to remember facts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I keep trying. Yeah. That I for sure didn't remember, so I'd like to take that back as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The flamboyance is when I fuckin' fart fire when I passed you, dude. That's my flamboyance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know when it's going to come out, but Ders and I are going to do celebrity family feud against each other next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, dad, the family's coming into town. Oh, really? Oh, really? Wait, it's... Yeah, Celebrity Family Feud with Steve Harvey, homie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you won't be able to. You won't be able to. Yeah, no, there's no way to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's always so bad. I watched an interview the other night. I was so stoned and saw like a Rick Glassman podcast on YouTube and it was Kyle and I was like, oh shit. So I clicked on it and it was old and it was somehow in my feed and I watched like 20 minutes of it and, and he goes, uh, so when did Workaholics come out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was fucking great. We all had our shirts off, and you're like, now's the time I eat fish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmm. Oh, please. Thank you. Please live your truth, not the truth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and if you want to back out, they have great sides there too. You can get the mashed potato, you can get the mac and cheese, the potato salad, whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you might go, you know what, I'm off of it again. And then you're, you could be off it again for eight years. Exactly. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was your reason to go vegetarian or pescatarian or whatever the hell you just said? What was the reasoning?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he said he just wanted to try it, but then he just, he did try it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if there's not like a real like, I looked into the eyes of a cow and said never again,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was better? Did you like chicken or the fish more? Cause I think you had salmon at the bachelor party, if I remember correctly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clunk! So I, I, I get salmon, I, I like meal prep salmon, I get like three pounds once every week or so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got you today. I got you. And he, and then I'm like, no, I'll take the, uh, 8.99 a pound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know, we know, yeaah. Okay, well, that's awesome, Kyle. So are you gonna go down the road of like, we should go to, here's what we should do, find the absolute best steakhouse in the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Say it slower. Hey, well that would be a perfectly eight ounces a proper steak. That's not a small dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Six ounces is small now. Six ounces is pretty small, I would say. Is it? Last heart checked!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say, but North Dakota. But it's not anymore because Nebraska is like, oh, we have the best beef, but then you go to the super nice steak house in LA or New York and you're like, this is just really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, it's not any better in Omaha, just cause the meat is from, because.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steakhouse in Tribeca is number one on this list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that, Tribeca is a location in New York City, and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've been there, and uh, American Cut Steakhouse is apparently one of the top ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh for sure. Well Peter Luger is a classic old steakhouse. I wouldn't say it's gonna be the best cut of meat you've ever had in your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is a fun steakhouse. It's very old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Isaac's giving us other info. The cut in Beverly Hills, he's saying is number one in St. Elmo Steakhouse in Indianapolis, which I've never been to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I try to go to the best steakhouse in any city that I'm in cause I'm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fentanyl? We don't have to die. We don't have to die. Uh, well that'd be fun, Kyle. That would really be fun. I would love to OD with you. If you're gonna get back into things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I got, I got these Japanese, uh, steak knives for Christmas. Oh, knife talk. I like this. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think they're called Kyoto, I believe. Uh, they are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you think they show up sharp? You don't have to... Here, I'll go get the box. I'll show you these knives.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I haven't had to do anything like that because, uh, they're so high quality, so I've used them. Twice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I, you know, I've used them a few dozen times and they've been, they've been great every time, so I haven't had to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'll tell you how. Well, you take the, you take the, the, that long stick thing and then you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It looks like you send them it. Cause they're pretty expensive. I think with a cheaper knife, you could just take matters in your own hands. But with these, you know, you don't want to fuck it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna want $900 knives. Treat yourself to a set of shun for a birthday or Christmas gift. Someone's looking to get you something kind of nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I got schmooze. Oh god. You got it? I got schmooze. Yeah, I just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's, uh, it's, I got a, I got a bunch of them. I got, they gave me like ten or so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know who took yours, dude, is Isaac. Isaac keeps stealing all of our stuff and giving it to his children. That's what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, mine, mine was fully, fully squatty-pottied. Yeah, it's one piece.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good. Love taking a load off. I don't. Yeah, I'm into that. I don't subscribe to that. I ate shit so hard back into the toilet, like I fucking hurt myself. Like I clipped my heel on the squatty potty and then just ate shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, why don't I get just night vision goggles, Kyle? I should- night vision? I think I know Adam's take back today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean in life I think I would like night vision goggles because that's kind of sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck yes. But, uh, just- Kyle. But just to go to the bathroom on a regular night, I think that's a little much. Cause don't you- what I try to do is I try to be asleep the whole way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for like, if you're an average criminal, if you're an average criminal, you don't have to worry about that. If you're, if you're just doing some, some grab and go, some smash and grabs,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, they're not gonna bust out the heat cameras on, for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you gotta do something really dastardly. You gotta be like a fuckin' marathon bomber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I thought you were a Twitter guy, like every once in a while, you know, I just kinda look at shit every once in a while, but like, I'm never participating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I thought you were a Twitter guy. You're not. You've backed off the Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know, it is weird, like, who gives a shit?