[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I can only play with three of my friends? Yeah, that's crazy. Uhm, that's dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To squad up. Oh, I've dealt with that here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, as he stares at me, I need to call you guys so that you guys can lose your patience with me after 10 minutes and regret that I called you. I know I do need to do that for sure, but you've been saying like people are saying, Oh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're asking, are we gonna do battlefield friends? Because it's so broken and we've been saying the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was fun, like, recently we've uploaded all the old episodes and it was great to go back and watch them all. Uhm, and Battlefield 4, the launch of that, it just kinda, like that episode, the broken field episode, I was like, oh, history's repeating itself. Yeah. Because when Battlefield 4 launched, everyone was like, oh, this game's dead. No, this game's done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that Krampus can suck a dick. So what's the, okay, so explain the Krampus thing. So it's just, I don't know what actually causes it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. No, Battlefield has the vehicles. Vehicles that can fight back. I think, I really do think this new Battlefield was also held back by the old consoles. I mean, cause they're, they want these things to still run on the PS4. Yeaah, god. This game still needs to run on the PS4. I mean, that, that game's, or that system's what, a decade old at this point? It's so old now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, I'm ready for that next step in destruction physics. And just like, it's not, it didn't show itself in this iteration of Battlefield.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because it's being held back by the old consoles. Okay, we're gonna double the player count.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's gonna take so many more resources, alright, we're gonna pull back on the destruction. I don't think they needed a double mini player. I don't think so anymore. They didn't really. It was one of those marketing things, like, there's gonna be this many players. So big! Yeah, and I do enjoy part of the chaos, but at the same time, I was like, man, 64 would feel better on these maps. There's just less bullets flying at you all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kind of where they're going with it, because it looks like they're offering 64 player modes on the PC now. I think on console it's 64 players, you know, regardless. Oh, okay, I didn't know. I wonder if they were PS4, not the PS5s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, and I don't mind, like one of my favorite ways to play is, uh, is just hold and defend an objective. Like Orbital, that building. It's like, I'll get the chopper, a couple of my friends will have anti-air to keep the other choppers off me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll just circle that building and they can keep the other choppers off me. I can call out enemies as they're coming up and no one can take that fucking objective from us. So like doing something like that where it's just, you know, talking to your squad, communicating like that's when battlefield shines. And it was, yeah, that was a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good thing I continued it another day. Survived another day. Oh boy. You're doing great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like to give a special thank you to our sponsor NordVPN.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And as always, they have your back by securing your personal data and your internet activity. And it's easy to use. You just connect with one click or enable auto connect for zero click protection.


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[Assistant] Nord VPN is the fastest VPN out there and we still have a holiday season deal to share with our community. So go to nordvpn.com slash needs to get a two year plan plus one additional month for free with a huge discount. How huge? 73%. That's how huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which comes to just over two bucks a month. So go to NordVPN.com slash needs to get a two year plan plus one additional month with a huge discount. Thank you NordVPN.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good idea behind it, but I think it would backfire on you, cause if you even split it up...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna go, okay, you're gonna have now four different Christmases on each different week, right? And you're gonna change that up. There's gonna be always crazy people around the whole fucking month, like frantically going, oh my god, what's going on? Cause they're trying to get their shit for their next day that they weren't prepared for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. Nibs, that's when you're celebrating. You be the example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if I really didn't like the time of year, I'd probably avoid like grocery shopping or any sort of shopping this week. And you're such an organized person, you think that you wouldn't be like even scheduled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like why, why, why did they make it that way? They're trying to make it inconvenient for women?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well then why not make the shirts more unisex? It doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you know, sometimes there are lady shirts that are so generic, you can't really tell if it's a lady shirt until it's on you, and then you go like, okay, you can see the cut's funny or whatever. But like, maybe that's why. Cause I know that was always a giveaway for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's how it would tell me, like, oh I can't get this shirt, this must be Lee's shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I could just say ladies, no, but I mean it's a weird- Tag's fine, but yeah, I mean the button thing, it's a quick identifier, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your dexterity will tell you that something's off when your hand goes, this isn't working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I had a knockoff jacket, uh, it was, uh, well I don't know if it was a knockoff, but I had a friend of mine who went to like, Vietnam, and they brought back like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Half a dozen, like, north face winter jackets that were like, yeaah. But, uh, it was on the, everything was on the opposite side for the jacket. But it was a warm ass coat. Like it was on the back. Yeah. The hood was on the bottom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah it's true, there's a lot of people who discovered just like you two did, cause I really just assumed everyone knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. More people here. That's three out of five. I know. More people didn't know. So Lord knows how many people were taught today. God, we're such a giving channel. We are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Along with the restaurants you love, you can now get groceries and other essential items in under an hour delivered with DoorDash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And with DoorDash you get everything in one app. Ordering is easy and your items will be left safely outside your door when you choose contactless delivery drop off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now for a limited time, our community gets 25% off of their first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter code Neebs. That's 25% off up to a $10 value and zero delivery fees on your first order when you download the DoorDash app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the app store and enter code Neebs. That's code Neebs for 25% off your first order with DoorDash, subject to change in terms of ply.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get 25% off and zero delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter code NEABS. Thank you DoorDash. Did you guys enjoy your Christmas?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is your thing recently. You're really into it. It's a lot of fun. I think it's great that you're into it. It makes me, I almost did a steak in an air fryer because of you. I just don't understand why you got the tattoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it looks like, okay, you have asparagus in one, uh, drawer, your meat in the other drawer. Yeah. Like, yeah. The machine. The machine. Yeah. And then you go to bed and wear, you know. It stays cold. Yeah. Until just before lunch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had hard boiled eggs out of an air fryer. Okay. Crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if this is like a conversation with the guy that first got the microwave, you know, before anybody else. Dude, man, I'm making all kinds of shit in my house. Last night, I made some macaroni and cheese so quick, just water, cheese, macaroni, it was so good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, my mother-in-law, I believe...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, my mom and dad's microwave is insane. It's like a knob on it. It's like a computer from the 70s. It's got so many fucking buttons on it. Weird. It's like you're gonna launch a fucking rocket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's something, yeah. It's way more complex than it needs to be. Like, you gotta hit start, then you gotta turn the dial to the thing you're cooking. It's ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's too much! Yea, the narrator and the editing is just very entertaining.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, I'm looking for now, I would want to go with that one. And there, there starts the debate because of the Die Hard thing. Even Nieb's early run was just like, oh, when you get a Christmas tree in a movie, I guess you can call on a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, that is, I remember watching Die Hard for the first time in many years, like maybe last year or the year before, cause I'd never, you know, I'd never watched it with the attitude of going, I'm gonna judge it if it's a Christmas movie. Never thought it was before, and when I watched it, I said, fuck yeah, absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't need fuckin' Santa. You know, ever. It's an action movie that takes place during Christmas. Is what it is. But they lean into that theme. They use Christmas music and soundtrack. Santa doesn't show up, there's no fucking reindeer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like, the Christmas Carol, that's, there's no Santa in that. No. It's just a fucking story about some old guy who gets fucked in the ass late at night by his old business partner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a horrible, horrible, depressing movie. It's a Christmas movie. Yeah. Bad Santa's a Christmas movie. It's a horrible movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, wow, this premise is really, really dumb. Doctor Strange is a fucking idiot. And that's exactly what happens in the movie. Like, you have to turn your brain off and just accept that Doctor Strange is stupid in this movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Too many good things out there. What about Yellowstone? I heard that's real good. I haven't seen it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, weird to us, but yeah, like uhm, some people's tradition is like when a relative dies, uhm, at the funeral, they set him up like how they were known in life. So if you were a chef, you know, they'll take your body and they'll present a display where you're cooking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll figure it out. That's gotta be an interesting gig for, yeah, that guy. He's like, what do you do? I set up bodies. Basically your own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you've got a small business, you know that there's nothing more valuable than your time. So stop wasting it on trips to the post office. Stamps.com makes it easy to mail and ship right from your computer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

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[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once your mail is ready, just schedule a pickup and drop it off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No traffic, no lines. You save time and money with stamps.com. There's no risk. And with promo code Neebs, you get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No long term commitments or contracts. Just go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone on the top of the homepage and type in Neebs. That's Stamps.com promo code Neebs. Stamps.com. Never go to the post office again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, what a good job on the marketing team for these casket people, huh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good point too. Was it in Ghana? Was it in Ghana? Might have been. Did you see some funny looking caskets? Fancy coffins in Ghana, African art showcase. I'm seeing some interesting. That sounds about right, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just totally thought it was, it was like aah. Just like I always thought it was like aah. I thought it was a wheelbarrow. I took me forever for a wheelbarrow. So this one, you'd think it'd be easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, apparently Paul Bearer is also a wrestler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, it's coming up. Paul. Paul. P-A-L-L-B-E-A-R-E-R. Paul Bearer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the middle ages, the pallbearers carried the four corners, uh, of the pall, so the cloth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they would, bearing the pall, uh, and then that's what they would use to hold the body of the casket. So this big spread out cloth that you would grab and pull up. They didn't have like a handle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm glad that you learned that detail. I might be the only one in the world that thought it was poll.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like this. I think every week we should all bring in a fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was like 1978. Well, that was when the movie came out, so I was thinking it was maybe just at least a year or two later. Maybe year 79, whatever. Maybe it was the Muppets thing that I... No, no, there was a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and they live in like, I mean, they live in a tree house, but there's like a modern kitchen. Yeah, yeah. It's like a cooking stove and a microwave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I recommend everybody watch it, but don't watch it by yourself. Get together with a group of friends, get some drinks, you know, make yourself comfy, have a good time, and it's great for a bad movie night, watching it, uh, yeaah, with friends and just making fun of it, because it's ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's coming out. I wanna see it now. It would be nice to make a point of watching some movies together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it'd be fun like, that sounds like a dumb movie that I'd love to watch with you guys, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god, yeaah, we watched that at, uh, uhm, uhm, I do a bad movie night at my house. Usually every other Saturday, have some friends over, just, we watched one or two shit films. Yeaah, 1982. We watched Wonder Woman 1984. Good god. I didn't even bother with that movie. No, yeaah, you didn't need to. It's like the whole...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Villains premise and it's a Mandalorian. He's the villain in this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just all predicated on him being a genie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's just, he gets like a power to grant wishes and that's the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he gets a pass on it cause he's big as, you know, he's big, big. Nah, I will say like as an actor, he brought it, he was doing his best, but I mean, you can't do anything with that script. You can't. It's almost like they were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Kristen Wiggs in there is another cat lady.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's bad. I love Kristen Wiig. I did too. And now, and I, I started to watch, did anyone else see her? I didn't see it, but I started to watch it. The movie that she did about like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this was, this was just like two girlfriends who were like from maybe let's just say Minnesota. Cause I don't remember, but they had the accents and they were all stereotypical and they were going to wherever they were. Let's just say Mexico.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it turned into this crazy type other thing and I never got to finish it. I was gonna see if any of you was it good? It was uhm, I'm gonna have to search it now. Kristen Wiig movie. Kristen Wiig. I always feel sorry for Kristen Wiig because yea, I think she's really really talented and can be funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. But it was a very good movie. It's so good. Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They wrote, what was the, uh, uh, bridesmaids. Bridesmaids. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was her, uh, her writing team member, like, uh, whatever the hell she was in Second City. Okay. Gotcha. She's funny though. Super funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The great. If you haven't seen The Great, it's on Hulu. Go watch it. It's really, really good. It is, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what I'm getting. I'd like to treat myself to something, but I don't know what yet. A belt?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I hope you did because I want you to wear it and then tell me that it's the best belt and then I'll buy it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, I'm watching the trailer and I saw this guy just stab somebody who was not a zombie. So I guess there's bad people in here too that you're fighting against. You're not just fighting against zombies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I like trying to find things, so let's compare that with this. When you kill zombies, do you find things on zombies like it used to be in Seven Days?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, yeaah, don't get the game. Zombiers didn't make any sense. That is a fuck of years, man. Had me until then. It really is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, the character is called Funk Kung Fu Jesus. I was hoping that Jesus knew Kung Fu and was going to be like kicking serious ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, even Britain, obviously, when you look at the, uh, no, I don't know half of them, because you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very fair. Well neither one of you knows a lot about sports, but I don't know a lot about sports either, and I could lose this game all day with a lot of sports. Anything modern, I'd lose. I would lose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think musically though, uh, because of the two that you just mentioned, I think, or the big ones, they were music, right? It was Michael Jackson, whatever else it was. And Elvis. Um, Beatles, yeaah. I think that musically you're much more likely to be much bigger just because of, uh, I don't know. If you're hitting the main stations, if you're hitting the ones, the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone. Oh yea, yea, that's true. I wasn't like, who's this guy? Playing the Super Bowl. Yea, that's very true. Yea, Michael Jackson, like, uh, said, I'm gonna do a music video, and we're gonna put it on prime time. Like, we were watching television, everyone's on a schedule, and he's like, fuck it, I'm gonna take 30 minutes, and we're gonna do a thriller video. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was very different time. On the five stations we had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and Snatch we was great in. But now, for comedic reasons, I would love the hair. Just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh it is, but they're masks though, you still gotta wear the masks everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was on the golf too, and the beach was closed, or the ocean was closed, cause it was so rough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, what, here? At the, at the gulf. I was at the gulf as well. Oh, really? In Florida. But I was at the panhandle, so it was different, but yeah, uh, it was, it was quite rough. So you'll have your glassy, your glassy areas and then your rough areas. Yeah, it depends on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if I were you, Thick, I'd be, I'd be pickin' a city that just has a ton to offer when it comes down to, uh, sites and, and places that you haven't, you know, been before. There's a couple of really cool, uh, what the hell, I was gonna go to some place in...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Tex, uh, what the hell is the name of the, uh, what are the, um. Cincinnati. It's not, not Houston. It's in Texas. Boston.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reschedule. So three of us were supposed to be in Florida, because I was in Florida too. At once.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's coming out in 2022. And it's supposed to start at less than 40,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and it's, uh, you know, one of the most, it's actually, I think it might be the most powerful Ford F-150 ever put out. And that's why they need to make all of these electric vehicles more affordable because it seems like a better way to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know about that. I think it'd be a lot more expensive than 95,000. I think it's starting. Cause I could buy a Volvo all electric. Well, I know, but the Volvo all electric is starting at 72 and that motherfucker don't go sideways. That's all I'm just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Charger, yeah. Charger, Challenger. But yeah, you're right though. It would be nice if, like, I think that I don't understand why the game developers in GTA aren't developing all the cars that we could drive. I don't understand why there are ugly cars out there. It's all about design.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand why people are ma- like there are great designers out there. So why are we having somewhat unattractive, boring looking cars when you just look at GTA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is true, but look at GTA and look at the, uh, look at the sports cars that are in there. I mean, you're right, it is subjective, but I think that oftentimes there's a lot of cars out there that are, I mean, I don't know, ugly to the masses?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think there's curves on ugly cars. I think it's the quality of the curves. I think that, uh, but again, all subjective and all, all like, you know, when it comes down to your opinions, that's all. Yeah, balls aren't expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To see. Now I'm back on the hummer. Well, it's also very handy when you're traversing in caverns. Yes, of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a movie. It's fake. Of course it's fake. How do they see through the wheel? Aliens aren't though. No, the aliens are real. They're coming for us and they will eat us all. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and yeaah, I know that these have been around. Just trying to get some basic answers here. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys know just as much as we know, which is nothing. Exactly. We're just hearing things and we're forming an opinion. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I just think that anyone who says something is absolutely false is fucking stupid. Cause they're just as ignorant as me saying it's absolutely true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're probably gonna get to the point soon here where now the fake news, cause yea, I mean of course there's always been fake news at certain points here and there, or very biased news. So like, I'm sure at some point we'll be like, oh my goodness, half the planet or maybe even 20% of the planet is gonna believe a story about actually like, contact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the next level of crazy. I understand this all sound nuts. Like war of the worlds multiplied by a thousand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I was just thinking more like, uh, somebody was like, hey, you know what, reporting on this actual contact, and now, uh, and now they're gone already, but now there's gonna be this whole new thing of like, hey, these people say this really happened. And we went to Waffle House.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, and then there they were. We talked and we watched movies together and they told us the secrets of everything. And then people are going to start believing it. And we had a dance battle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But people are watching them, like, hopefully those are a small portion of it. I think that it's gonna get worse and they're gonna be like tens of millions of people. Who knows?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And tell us in the comments also, aside from what Dora asked, which was, or I think it was think about where to vacation. Tell us about your alien encounters that you had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ooh, that does sound fun. You've made it to the end of this podcast. I, from the, from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry that you wasted your time. Uh, but we hope that you have a comment and maybe we'll read it later. Bye. Thanks guys. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Several things, I mean, where do you start? The drone. The drone's a great place to start, so. It's a flying drone, looks like there's a teddy bear on it, I suppose you could probably change what's on it maybe. But uh, it can heal you, it can be like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Flying flashlight. Apparently it can carry some things. It can give you a boost of morale. Apparently.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't, it is now. Yeah, for sure. It's gooey bubbles! The, it looks like a Trader's by Every City?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember when there was like, something coming up about uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know. It's just not enough time even if it's a lot of time within a day. In my mind. Is it adjustable?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I like the, uh, Molotovs are on point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Handle. These particular crystals. Yea. They limit it to a few feet. Space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're excited, we're still waiting obviously, uhm, and I hope it does drop this month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll jump on that show. We gotta figure out whatever, but I'm happy to take that for the start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of dumb shit. Good dumb shit. You gotta classify it in the good dumb shit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did too. I was like remembering some shit right now and I, and I giggled. I'm not gonna say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure. I wouldn't know. It's amazing, uh, the situations, particularly in a setup like this, where it, where it...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No more spoilers. I will say this though, and who knows if we'll ever go back to it and do this, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Versus again, but, uh, I've already got things I want to do with wherever I'm living, I'll tell you that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is one of the most exciting things for us anyway, is that uhm, you know, both of us sides, we didn't get to see the other side at all. So it's gonna be really fun to watch these episodes for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're both really good. So, he must have watched the show Squid Game, and just like immediately been like, I gotta make a game about, you know. The same guy that did Muck? Yes. Nice. So he was on it, like uhm, obviously it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was, uh, it was chaos. It was a good time. You got a lot of good laughs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was playing with Anthony the night before, a couple nights ago, just kind of like testing it out, and we had a good time. We had some good laughs with whoever the hell we were playing with. Uhm, we were watching, uh, I was watching someone, I was behind someone playing red light, green light, and he was crouched down behind someone in front of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the laser, the thing turned around or whatever. And uhm, he was using the guy in front of him to block the sight. The eye line. Is that what happened? Your shot from the front? Yea, I guess. I guess. So I didn't know you could do this until...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I tell you, my favorite when I was playing with Anthony was when I was in front, and I got the first one across the line the first time I tried that red light, green light, and was just owning it. But since you don't see anyone,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What else in the gaming? Uh, well Vanguard dropped today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's gotta be so weird. You know, I always feel bad for devs sometimes when, you know, they put all that love and passion into their, their job, their work. And then if, if just the timing doesn't work for the release, it's just like, meh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I removed myself from that to start another one that says the same shit. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what happened with documents. That is exactly it. I can agree with that, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was surprised that we got her in today for, uh, one o'clock recording time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I told her that. It was like 5pm yesterday. I was like, just go to bed now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not ashamed of it because they're quite lovely, but I got like these kind of blue suede sneakers that I got in those Nordstrom boxes I was getting over COVID. Like the clothing, you know? And the only reason I didn't wear them, I forgot to return them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't put them in the box to return them. So they're mine now, right? Uh huh. They're Ugg's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm wearing Uggs. Are they? Like low cut or like boots? They're lower cut. They're like, you know, like Simon's shoes right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever just prevents you from bitching, you know? I think we'll all win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did everyone have a good Halloween? Yeah, yes I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a pickle, I guess, but it's early, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, back to that, the, the cookout cornhole party I had with all them guys coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, dude, just, you know, don't ask for autographs, but just, just keep it fucking real. We're hanging out backyard, you know, now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but also that man, I had my neighbor, one of my neighbors would bring over every Sunday a New England clam chowder and a Manhattan clam chowder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was. He wasn't as big. But I remember him coming up when I was working on set and he was like, uh, he came up behind me and was like, I heard you like cornhole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's figure out a day. I'd go, I'd go back with you. Yeah, and Anthony wants to go too. I'd love to see that in the theater again, for sure. It's one of those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, let me know what you thought of doing when you're done. And she wrote back, I fell asleep and I just wrote back, oh wow. And she said, I know, audibly and visually stunning though. And I said, enough to fall right asleep to.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there you go. What a piece of shit human she is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard. How do you do that? How do you dress up as an Aussie? Because I see them wearing street clothes just like you and I. It's true, but I was an Aussie outback warrior, you see. I know, I saw that across, but I didn't understand it at all. Was it, uh, was it Quiff-a-Fiff's that sent us those hats, you know, the fly hats? The corks on them? Yeaah, so I was like digging through my closet because it was a last minute idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, ooh, I can put something together here. And I was like, I'll be, I'll do that. And my girl was, um, uh, a wallaby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we went to the Halloween store on Saturday, like so, you know, took that risk. It wasn't so bad. And, uh, put something together. I bought like this big machete looking thing, put on the hat and just added a mustache, you know, cause silly, not this big snake to wear over my,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a very good idea. That worked. That worked very well. Now her costume, we had to get creative. She bought an adult Scooby-Doo costume.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet no one guessed Wallaby. But I almost, no, for sure not, but some people knew right away that she was a kangaroo. Yea. And you didn't have short shorts, I mean that seems- I didn't, but I wore beige.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it still worked and I didn't want to be all cold all night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, some court- no, the courts did not all make it. Half of them were out by the end of the night, somehow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tis the season, it's nice and chilly out, right? And I was thinking uhm, maybe like have ten people, I don't know. Murder mystery party?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is it like a Asian Christmas? Well, I'm thinking of going with uhm, like I'd love to do like a Wild West murder mystery thing. So we can just easy dress up like, you know, we could all be wet, you know, but then it's fu-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it. I mean, Asian food on Christmas is not out of the, you know, that's very, very common. If you're Asian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I give you your information, what your character is about before you come. And then you have these little tidbits and when we're going around and interacting. So it's like role-playing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, with, and you've got your details you know about you. Okay. You know, and I will, I'm gonna host it. So I'll kinda like keep the flow going. I've been to two of these before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The uhm, that dope sick show I'm watching with Michael Keaton about the whole opioid, the Oxycontin and stuff like that. The Purdue family, no, like these are all real names, but the Purdue family, apparently their uncle they keep talking about, they use the real names. His name was Mortimer.


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[Assistant] You win, Thick. You got the murderer. Yeah, there's Corky.


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[Assistant] We all have to, I just figured Western was like easy for everyone, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Skillshare offers thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people on subjects including illustration, design, photography, video editing, animation, and really so much more. And members get unlimited access to thousands of inspiring classes with hands-on projects and feedback from a community


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of literally millions of people and most classes are under 60 minutes with short lessons to fit any schedule. And my teacher now is Dan Scott and he's teaching Photoshop. He's an Adobe certified trainer and he's teaching an essentials training course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is perfect because I use Photoshop pretty regularly, but there's still a lot of stuff about it that I do not know. So Dan's got his work cut out for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Skillshare is curated specifically for learning. So that means they don't have any ads and they're always launching new premium classes so you can stay focused and follow wherever your creativity takes you. And it's less than 10 bucks a month with an annual subscription.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now the first thousand of our community to click the link in the description will get 30% off an annual premium membership. So you can explore your creativity. Even if you've already had a free trial of Skillshare, you can still take advantage of this offer to get a full year of unlimited learning and creative exploration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, what are you waiting for? Thank you, Skillshare.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. Alright, I'm sitting here watching Valheim's cancelled video and we're playing golf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You playing golf right now? No, in the video we're playing golf and I'm addicted to even watching this game, but now Valheim is uncancelled! It's Beck everybody!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got a lot of dislikes, 2,800 actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I usually don't, I mean, except for if it's clickbait from a content creator that I like. Then I go, of course, that's what they're doing, what's their angle here? What are they, oh, so fucker. You don't believe what happens next. Oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never prepped enough in that game. No, but in the game, all I need is ample armor, cause let's face it, none of it is gonna make me live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'd like to say something, even though I'm not, I mean, it's kind of a spoiler, but it's not too bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's not that like, I'm just curious, uh, cause we gave ourselves an hour to play.


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[Assistant] Fuck this at some point. At 52 minutes, I said, I've had enough. And I didn't know. I was like, I've probably been going for an hour, but you know what? Fuck this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, at some point, I know, I mean, for me, it happened at least once, where I was like, what am I gonna do? Okay, look, I can snap it here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What were you saying Simon? Oh fuck, I forgot, but it should go back to me real quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, there was a couple things I figured out by accident, which were wonderful, cause I was ready to give up probably 20 minutes in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I enjoyed it, but I wanted to be able to skip though or maybe, you know, after like, and I guess I get that, you know, I'm just saying for like the, the person in like, I'm a gamer that sometimes if I don't have somebody help me, I'll never figure something out because I won't put enough time into it. I'll just give up and say, fuck it. It's not fun.


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[Assistant] It'll be good that I can see myself, uh, in my old age, you know, by myself on a tablet playing stupid games like this just to keep my brain going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I bet you it is, cause go all van, if not, I'd be, I'd be the guy sleeping at the bar at 5.30. I never, I never would have had a family. It would have just been, it would have been a mess. It would have been a sad, sad mess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, fair enough. I'll leave it at that. Can't you imagine the fighting, the difference of opinion? You need to, you need to feel that live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I have a very, uh, boring but still fun story. Bring it, bring it. I'm gonna paint the scene, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I needed to go get an oil change. So I was like, oh, I'm gonna go into this, uh, you know, 10 minute oil change place. I've been to with, uh, you know, two of my other cars. So I'm like, ah, this is like my place that I go now. I feel like I have a place to go get my oil change. It's kind of nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I go and, you know, if you go to these places, just because you think it's a bay that you should go into, sometimes it's not. Cause you'll go like, you know, Oh, don't go to that bay cause we're going to close that one down, go to this one. So I pull in and I ask a guy, Hey, where should I park? And he goes, right there's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And right there is not in the spot. It's just, you know, free balling cause I'm trying to ask him which way I should go to. And then maybe a minute goes by and I was gonna ask him, you know, well I'm not in a spot but he walked away and then a minute goes by and then a woman, you know, pulls in and she pulls into a spot. Now I'm like, well now this shit, she's getting ahead of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She doesn't know. That's the spot I would go to, but whatever. So anyway, another minute goes by and then another guy comes out and goes over to walk to that car and says, like, they're going to help him. And I said, Hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, uh, listen, where am I supposed to go? I was here before that person, you know, cause I'm impatient and I'm being an asshole, I'm being me, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, fuck that, okay? Yeah, but you're from New York. Yeah. Because I, I, I just like, I am always in a rush. Trust me, I was in a fucking rush. I'm like, and when I pulled in, there was like hardly any lines, so I was, you know, I really wanted to get in. Anyway, so the guy comes over and he goes, oh, okay. Well, let me help you. What can I help you with, sir?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then I tell him, I just want to know, I'll change this or that. And he goes, you look so familiar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, oh, okay, that's cool. Uh, and he goes, and, and it's like, I think I know. And I'm like, do you watch gaming stuff? And he goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, just pull over here. That was Brandon who helped me with the car. And there was another guy there who's like, hey man, you know, like, uh, he said, hey, I love your videos. I watch them all the time. So I guess they both watch it, but he was a young kid. I didn't catch his name. I'll call him Pretty Boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he, pretty boy was, he was very nice too. So Brandon and pretty boy. Hey, cause they said they listened to the podcast too. So, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I told him I'd probably tell this story because not a lot of people recognize my voice, but he even said he's like, uh, I said, I'm surprised you recognize my voice. And he goes, well, you got a really like loud New York thing. And I'm like, oh yeah, that's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey listen, before like, maybe last year, I had never been to one of those 10 minute places. I've been to Jiffy Lube once, but I didn't consider that a 10 minute place. Cause they didn't say it's, this is a 10 minute oil change. It was just fucking Jiffy Lube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause these places are like, we're gonna get you in and out in 10 minutes, motherfucker. And then, and I was already there for 10 minutes when that other woman came up and I was, that's why I'm like, hey, you're already behind, motherfucker. Come on. I'm Simon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's just doing it in Hawaii. So you could just do it. That's, that's what's, you know, good about it, I guess, too, for the people who aren't going to try to make it a career and you just want to go out there and do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not going to Myrtle Beach to do comedy, but I said once they open there, I'm going to do an open mic because I'm looking forward to it because I haven't been able to try it. So I'm just going to completely flop and completely suck and go, hey, embrace it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I'm going with, like, three or four subject matters. Well, sure, okay. And I'm gonna interact with the audience, cause that's what it has too, like, I wanna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With what I wanna do, I'm raising hands. It's audience participation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, alright, that's fun. Yeah, it's different at least. And if it, you know, if it fails, I could just blame it on them for being a shitty audience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you guys ever see, uh, and I really like David Tell. David Tell is probably one of my favorite, like, one of my favorite stand-up comedians, but it's probably also because he's like from around where I'm at too. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but I've always liked his sense of humor, and he and whoever the Roastmaster is, that, uh, that guy. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] They did this tour thing and they were together and, you know, they work on a lot, they change it up all the time, but there's two people on stage. Now, it wasn't my cup of tea. I think I like David Tell on his own better, but I would be, I would have a lot of fun going up on stage with somebody else and doing something similar like that where it's not worked out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we can work well with each other and fuck around and have fun on stage and then just be idiots and then try to make people laugh and then get the fuck out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be scary though. It'd be very scary for me. I'd be very nervous doing it, but now I'm at a point where if I cry on stage, I've already prepared myself to make that funny. Cause I already know if I cry on stage, I'm like, I got six different ways to make that funny. So what's gonna cause you to cry? Nerves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, my voice will quiver, and it'll sound really fucking weird, but like, I know, I know what to do with that now. So it's like, being prepared with it, it's probably gonna make me not do it, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm surprised more people don't do, uh, like, cards. Like, there was a woman who, uh, I was at the one downtown, uh, I saw a really good...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, and she was only the second person to perform, but she had, she had those, you know, big cards that she had up and then she was explaining what she was doing and she was showing the audience. It was fucking great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they could be, but you have to have the right venue for it. But there's so many fun things you could do. And I'll suck at it, and it'll be okay. Yeah, it's gonna be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also might wanna, I only might wanna do one or two or three times. I just wanna cross it off the list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't want to do that as any sort of career, but I don't want to be scared of it anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's why it's really getting crossed off. That's why if I honestly- I think you'd be great at it. If I just did it once, well, well maybe I would be okay, but the thing is, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As long as I think it's funny, then it is what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I, I think I could too, I just might not like it, cause it might, that nerves or whatever it is, cause it might be too scary even though I could work through it, I might not like it, you know, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, um, man, oh, listen, I remember one time, uh, shit, this is when we were, uh, listen, I auditioned for, for, you know, uh, indie films for a very short time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just like I did extra work for a very short time. And one time, uh, Dora and I, I believe we went to the same audition. I think it was at the UNCW.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen Dora, do you remember, there was one other thing, I think we did an audition together, it might have been in like, let's just say the Raleigh Derm area, and it was for, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did! One of the only ones. I was so proud of myself to waste a whole bunch of time. Uh, it was great. What was the show? The show? Oh, I don't even know the name of it. And I liked the people that we were working with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a black movie because I was the white guy in it that was the roommate that was kinda like, uh, I guess like a wannabe black guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went back and forth and filmed on the weekends. This is the first time I got really fucked up on moonshine. Somebody gave me moonshine up there that was in like a, that was in a milk, it was in a plastic one gallon milk fucking container.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I fucking, I drank like three ounces of that shit. Oh no. After I was already drinking, and then I've, that's when I, yeah, that was bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The scenes were like, the sets were in like a, there was a dorm and we were like, uhm, I guess cause it was a basketball movie? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we got paid enough to cover the gas and maybe like, maybe 25 cents an hour. Might have been a hundred a day or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was, it was a fun experience, it was different, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it was Raleigh? Oh yeaah. It'd be nice if it wasn't recorded over. They were nice people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh no. That should have been your first hint. When it physically hurts, it's a bad choice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? On my card, it didn't have, uh, it's supposed to have written on there, at least one person told me. It's supposed to tell me when I'm supposed to come back, but mine didn't. It was just signed the day I went. So, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll call him, I'll, yeah, it's easy, I mean, it was just right, right in front of, mmhm. Like, hey! I was in front of that lady!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's right, I'm Absro. Go fuck yourself!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta get the puppies and the non-puppy people together again, soon. Yep. Yep. You're the non-puppy people, uh. That's you, Absro. Absro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Laugh. Oh my god, that would be great. You'd do it all the time and it would be fun. Be your thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason why I recommend a puppy, or not a puppy, a pet, is cause the love that you give this damn thing, you forget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What it's like if you haven't had a pet in a while. I got two pets now. And the, the youngest one, she's still a, I consider her a puppy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she is costing me a fortune because she chews the clothes and she makes holes the size of softballs. Like she, she like eats the fucking fabric and she's eating shoes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and she needs to go back to training, but I don't have time for that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it ain't happening, but I still love this fucking dog so much!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do, trust me, you know what she did, actually uhm, this is what she did the other day, I lost my fucking mind. I was already in a bad mood already, but I had my uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I lost my homework. I know, she only chewed up the cord, but if I were to give her like, you know, five more minutes, apparently she would have chewed through the whole thing. She has been found with, cause it's hard, you know, you got, you got, I also got a couple kids in the house, so it's hard to keep everything away from this puppy, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like picture this, a razor. Like a triple razor like my daughter shaves her legs. Frickin-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank God! And I'm not negligent, like, it's one of these things where you go like that, thank God that only happened once, but she just loves it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Point being is the love that you would have for that kitten after it destroys your home will still be good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gotta, it's gotta fix em, man. Get em fixed and release them. Like, you get, you know, so they're not fuckin', you know, cause that's, that's kinda shitty. There's probably a lot of, uh, forget it. Well, definitely get em fixed. Definitely get em fixed. Yeah, probably, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I all of a sudden got concerned with the overpopulation of cats and dogs. And I didn't want to support it anymore. I do not support the wild cats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see what's said is, uh, we give, like Poppy, we give her a very, a very painful shock. She has a shock collar, and she still keeps on doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to do with her because she won't stay on her back and I'm not cool. I'm not going to strap her down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Poppy, yeaah, Poppy is, I would say, Poppy's dumb, but hopefully Poppy's just being that like stereotypical, like, puppy. And I'm hoping that- Yeaah, cause you know what- A year yet? A year? No, no, like seven, eight months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's still a puppy. Trained though, like goes to the bathroom outside, thankfully, that's good, smart like that, and uh, and gets along with other dogs, so yeaah, so that's good, but yeaah, she still, she loves to freakin' chew, and she loves to fight with Bubba. She loves to start shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, he's just talking to ya. And when he's angry, he does it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does, but you give him the fat free hot dogs and you seem to think that's good for him. Crazy son of a bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aw, good puppy. Always a good pops. Yes. Alright, well hey, listen, I thought we had a pretty good talk today. I think so too. It was nice, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, maybe we should make that and this will remind me the topic of when we're getting back together, at least something future. Cause you know, I'm very curious when we're going to be getting back together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, you know what? That's weird. Uh, because this, it just, it's odd that we're talking about this particular conversation because this morning, uh, my urologist called.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Made an appointment a few days back and talked to him for the first time. Like, we could set you up an appointment and everything, but we don't do that anymore. We're just going to go ahead and do it. We're going to make the appointment. There you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next two days it's gonna be like bathrobe and netflix. That's it. Powder your balls. Powder em. Oh yeah, some powder. I got some deodor- I got some like cream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was fun. That's one place I still feel weird with COVID.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but no, have you? No, if you- Are they crowded? Yeah, every time I look at a trampoline park, it's fucking crowded.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I actually, I went out to Mayfair this past weekend and I walked by the one out there and I looked inside and I was like, mm-mm, nope, fuck that. Yeah. No way you're getting me into that Petri dish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he'd be the opposite. He'd be such a disappointment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when I did, uh, when I was younger, I did, uh, I was working at a theater and I did spotlighting for a Moscow ballet one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I thought that was going to be awful, but like watching those guys perform is just like Jesus. Pretty incredible. Damn athletic they are. When you see it live, it is damn impressive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well it's like, you know, God, it's like what, Neibs and I would like football and most other sports. Bores the shit out of me, but I can respect it. I can respect the players and I get why people enjoy it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, have you ever, I don't know if we talked about this specific thing. Have you ever seen the clip where he does a Led Zeppelin? Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. Holy shit. Mind blowing. It's good, huh? Yeah, it's amazing. It's like he has a guy playing guitar and then he's doing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vocals, the damn electric guitar. He's doing everything and it sounds on point. You're like, what the fuck? How does this guy doing this with his mouth?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, maybe, I don't know, maybe it's a courtesy thing because I feel like anybody who ever has a jacked up truck when they get behind my car, I drive a little car. Headlights just beaming right into my fucking car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. They're annoying the fire pilots. I think they need to have fun with this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, I think, I do think my next vehicle is not, it's not gonna be raised, but I want, I want an SUV only to be higher off the ground, so I don't have to deal with this jackass in his jacked up truck with his blue damn neon lights on. Yeah. Blasting into my car. It's the most annoying damn thing in the world to me. Yeah, his blinding.


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[Assistant] Yep. I have a rule in my closet. Something new goes in, something old goes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Martini shot. Yep, I remember that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's finally a movie I want to see in theaters. Kong vs. Godzilla. Yeah. Hopping up. Like, that's a theater movie. I don't want to watch that on my little dinky TV. It's like, no. I want to see a giant gorilla fight a giant lizard on a big screen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love, I love it when you, yeah, when it's rare when you do watch a kid's movie and you go away like, holy shit, that was amazing. Really good, I'd be happy to watch that again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there is. I've been on Google Maps before, and yeah, like not too far from the office, like right across the highway, there is a, there is a decent sized lake up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think I would start with playing and then if I'm feeling ballsy I'd get a helicopter. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would think. That was a lot of accuracy. Yea. You would think. No, and I played that a little bit. And yea. It's pretty good at taking off and landing. I was. Not too hard once you get used to it. It's just kind of gliding in, isn't it? You know that. Slow down. You know that Mark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, yeaah, I was at a sports bar not too long ago and those drone races were on television. Talk about that captivating and fun to watch. Oh my god, they're so fast. Cause they're moving so fast, yeaah. And they're, yeaah, going into such tight corners and everything. Yeaah, yeaah. Those are awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Stay completely out of danger. Yeaah. Getting into that shit. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it's, anytime a scandal like that appears, it sucks because, you know, first off, when you hear it through the internet, it's just like, you just hear a mob screaming. And so you're like, okay, what's happening? Is this true or not? Because I think one of the recent, one of the recent ones that's heard is one of the Game Grump guys. But then when you look into the story, it's just like, okay, no, he talked to a fan when she was 17.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is all speculation, but from the story I understand, he talked to a fan when she was 17, later on when she was 22, he hooked up with her, and then she got mad about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know, this is intervention time. Stop, stop trading apples, man. You'll get us in trouble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're a little blip sitting on a, uh, a piece of sand on a beach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With cheese on it's head. With cheese on it's head. Put that damn cheese on that cat's head, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The big disk, or the big ring world, and all these VR environments, all that vast beauty and new shit, like, uh, I'm intrigued, I'm definitely intrigued, of the lore, and when like things kicked into warp speed and stuff. Yeah, what the hell is going on?


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[Assistant] All I was saying is I care a little bit more in this world. Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Golden Galaxies was what you were watching. Golden Galaxies! Oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see. It's refreshingly different. Yeah. So far. Yeah. Makes sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were all kinda questioning, like, what's gonna be a threat? Because we can just fly or run quickly away from anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the suit thing we were just talking about, Neebs, when you were in, when you were in the VR thing, that suit didn't help you. It's like, it still sucked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I vote we get like Simon like a ringside like manager. He's got a water bottle. He's a tech nerd. He's over your shoulder. You got him. You got him. Simon, come on. Simon, you gotta just change that setting. Come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I uh, randomly discovered, it was like a video I went by, I don't watch UFC or MMA, like I don't follow it. I've caught a match or two, I've enjoyed a match or two, but it's not like I'm crazy about it. But I saw this little compilation of this one fighter that's out there, I guess he's up and coming, named Kevin Holland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm sure all you guys, yeah. No, my buddy Derek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so Rogan did interview him, um, because he did like five fights this last year or whatever, but the shit talking thing is what that compilation I was watching. And it started off, I was like, it was the subtitles and I was like, is he just shit talking? Like he's talking throughout these fights to who he's fighting, like, but he calls him by name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, he compliments them when he hits them in his face. Like, he's getting smacked in the face. Like, he's so, it's like a positive, like, it's such an interesting tactic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think he's hilarious. He was telling one guy when he was in, he was like completely compromised down below and he was telling the guys like, I had a dream about this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've just never seen anyone fight talking like that. And it's like a such, is it a tactic? Is it a, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like almost Idris Elba is more relevant today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost, I think, like maybe just in general, you know what I mean, I mean Will Smith is a huge name, always will be, but Idris Elba, he definitely became a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, I didn't, okay. No, no, no, I'm talking about, uhm, the remaking the first one. Or making a longer first one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My family was down here this last week. 8 days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, and speaking of kids, like, uh, the three older boys, like my brothers, they're, they're,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn good kids for their age. I'm like, shit. You know, like, I'm just always impressed with them. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then my niece, she's 11, uh, my brother's wife is 11. She's very Christian. Yeah, she's 11.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very Christian, and uh, we were in Myrtle Beach because they were flying out of Myrtle Beach yesterday morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it yesterday morning? I lost track of time. Sunday morning. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we stayed over in Myrtle and it was dinner and I was looking where we were in North Myrtle at this like Airbnb for that night. It's like, oh, we'll go to Dick's last resort. Hmm. Yes. Oops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the ones in Myrtle Beach. And our, our, our waiter was great, but they put hats in your head and, and it's crude as shit. What'd the hat say? Uhm, well, I don't remember what mine was, something about more, I put more fingers on myself, something about that. Like, uh, hers was her crotch, or my brother's wife, something about, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Comparing your cross to an aquarium. But there were some hilarious sh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things around us and I was wondering why do people bring kids here? Do they have no idea? Like why are there kids at all?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a girl with her friend up a little bit higher up closer to the bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone's hat fits on their head and she, they made one for her that fit over her head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it said on it, like, uh, my vagina is bigger than this hat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'll drive you crazy. Especially if you lose a shit ton of time dealing with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nicky's has a good one. Sushi plays for some reason there. Oh wow. Everybody likes their black bean burger. I've heard that years and years now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I believe. And a dremel. Yeah, a dremel tool. So, when my, when my pec, when it snapped up here, like my pec stayed there, it didn't change, like, but, so they reattached all of it up on my shoulder, and obviously it was scary, and I was afraid to do anything with my right arm for years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird that whatever the fuck happened to his bicep, that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Daniel from how it should have ended, uh, I think was it last night or a couple nights ago, he was saying how we just need to do a food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right, Daniel, you win this time, maybe. Maybe. Might. Is it home? Yes. Fine, Daniel. There's kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one other, uhm, so Myrtle Beach has countless, North Myrtle Beach and Myrtle Beach have countless, like, breakfast and... Pancake houses. Oh yeaah. Like, it's so many, and like, on a Sunday, around the time people would have brunch or breakfast, they're all full.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I've got my brother's family like, we're just gonna pick one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're not gonna like, based on the weight, we're not gonna choose another one because there's gonna be a weight there too. So we gotta commit. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah. And I picked this place, damn, it was Jimmy's or John's, I think it was Jimmy's, uh, Waffles and Benedict's. And I'm a, I'm a eggs Benedict whore. I am. Ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This fucking place, man, was dope. It was so good. They had apparently what is considered South Carolina's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got all the other stuff. There was a skill, it was just, oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, I did well. Well, only because we were talking about food and I want to put a happy twist on the end of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But seriously, that would not be cool with that. Jesus. Got a flying segway story. There's this tiny bat, I forget what it's called, but it's like the size of your thumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And recently it flew like this record distance that you know, from like London to Moscow. It was like 1200 miles. What's the size of your thumb are you saying? A bat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't, they're figuring out why it does these migrations. Drink bat vodka. But then it landed and it was marked, it was like a guy that, like a bat conservatory. It was a marked bat, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, some ladies, uh, sort of got there, some lady's cat killed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a tragic story. But I'm so thankful that lady reported it because she saw the markings on it. That could have gone either way. That could have gone, but they were like, holy shit, that bat traveled. And it's like this, like, that's a trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well, just a friend of mine, when she was growing up, uh, her dad was driving and they hit some- something hit the front of their vehicle. They didn't know what it was and they pulled over and a bat was in their grill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they hit a bat somehow and she liked, uh, collect, like keeping things. She was like one of those kind of tomboy kids and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She put it in a jar when they got home, they weren't far from home. And fucker woke up later in the jar like going nuts. But it was like knocked the fuck out for an hour or two before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damsel flies are like a tenth of the size and skinnier tail than a dragonfly is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't know why. No, that was just a joke. Let's all think nice, warm, splashy water on your asshole thoughts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, god who knows. So many choices, but also like, you kinda wish there was something we didn't know about yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she's excited about some options I've been throwing at her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? I don't know what we're going to do with Battlefield and who's going to do Battlefield, but yea, she was excited about possibly doing some Battlefield stuff in a different way. See at Thieves at first she was like yea I'm not sure about that because it doesn't have Spectator, but then we talked about if she came in,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're able to kind of look at what we're doing and kind of get in her head how she would cut it. Because we never did that new stuff. And after we played it, I guess that was fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now if I don't care about XP, and I just wanna be with you as you go through the story, is that doable?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's been one of our complaints since some of our series is it's all PVP or environment but no objectives. Conan did a pretty good job at working some things out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Want to be able to revive? Well, they probably have that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, visually for me, Volcanoids, that's a pretty game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is fun. I don't like the way it looks, but as we were progressing, I was, I was enjoying it more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You haven't seen Free Guy yet? Nope, no. Yea, I've seen it. Yea, I liked it. I liked it. Yea. Very GTA-ish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've seen a- I've seen a million movies in my life. We all have, haven't we? It's hard for someone to write a script that's gonna blow your mind. No, I get it. I get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also you were standing still. We were still killed and we had the difficulty like all the way up where they just were laser focused. They were really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I like the challenge, I want it to be kinda hard. But it's omnipresent, it's not realistic. Yeah, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we were killing them, even with bow and arrow before. Yeah. So, you get a good gun, you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you loot Courtney, she should not quite be dead yet. And she's just got a few last words.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No challenge, you just play through it. You just go through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] AMA. Ask Me Anything. Yeah. Isn't the AMAs an awards? Yeah. They do every year. American Music Awards. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm. Maybe? American Music Awards, that sounds legit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Harry Connick's in town, or was or is, is gonna be. Okay. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyways. Lick my balls! Yeah. It's just, it's out of control. What? What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like if you watched a video from 10 years from now, like okay, they've made a whole new language now. Can't even talk to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So listen, I don't have a problem with that. You just sounded like you did. But you're not, you don't want to have a conversation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, what's, then what's your issue? I think it's too much. That's, that sounds like a problem. Because for over the generations, like, hey, let's come up with like seven words this year. Now it's like seven words a day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little baseboardin'. A little baseboardin'. It was fun to see. It was fun to see you in your element. Finally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it was just nice to see you not confused for a couple days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What did you guys want to be?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to be an architect because I thought I got to draw a lot. And then I was like, well, that's not really drawing, is it? That's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So people need to be more open minded. I feel like I haven't heard much new music lately. You gotta look for it. What's new? What do you think is new?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's before YouTube. You guys just hadn't guessed. You draw pretty good. It'll be done later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show that in my shirt? Yeah, here you go. It'll be relevant for a week. I like Sigma Lichmobopa better though. Sigma Lichmobopa. Sigma Lichmobopa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I prefer chicken or steak? I eat way more chicken than steak. Way more chicken I was gonna say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I get a really good steak, a lot of times I order steak, I just feel like it's not perfect. Chicken, I have a more consistent, good outcome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think so. But I like both. If I get a really good steak, yeaah, I'm happy. More chicken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted a good chicken piccata, yeah. The one in Atlanta. Yeah, right. Well, Nibs? So, I'm gonna go with somewhere I've never been. You know, maybe somewhere like Japan. Just somewhere where the culture is obviously different. If I had to go right now, choose right now, I'd say Japan tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We should do another song like that. I've asked you, you're like, nah, that's enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmhm. Piranha too? Better than the first one. Mmhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, I, it's healing great. You look this, like you look and sound the same as always. Yeah. You look fit, you look healthy, you look energetic. So, and you're still taking treatments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My least favorite, not that you're asking me, was Extinction. Mine was, yeaah, Extinction as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta do an aberration. That's how Jax started. Listen, you're not wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What time is it right now? 11 10. 11 10. We've just finished a stream. It's late. We've been having a good time. We're doing a podcast. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a day. Fun. What a day. I'm super excited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it cause they're always trying to do like this recoil, like a making it harder kind of thing, or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were with Machinima back then. They were going through changes. Our contacts, Micah and Lon, who were our homies. They let them go. Machinima was letting everybody go. Strangers were coming in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I enjoy. We covered Hardline. I know, I know. So it was like, uh, we had to do this together, but there's been this transition from here to there, and we don't know who we're dealing with now, and we're like, eh. It turned into a mess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also, Thicc has been working, you know, once we found out what kind of battlefield's coming out this time, you've been doing emails with these folks for what, the last six, eight months? Yeah. And we finally came to an agreement, which I think is pretty awesome. I think Rooster Teeth was really cool. Yeah, they've been great. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we're like, hey, this, this, this show is just good to nobody right now. No one's, uh, using this, so let's do something. So, uh, yeah. We've worked something out!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've always been a fun company. We've gone to, um, RTX and Austin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never had a problem when I saw someone and shot them. I never had a problem doing that. It's just usually I don't, I never see them. I'm just looking the wrong way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were talking about this on our stream tonight and we actually had a chopper pilot in the chat and he told us that choppers do have windshield wipers. Used very rarely, right? Cause the propellers usually keep the windshield pretty clear. Yea. With the wind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well if you're in war and you're wearing like goggles or something- Of course, that- it's real, I just don't like it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we can relate though, cause, uh, everyone has an opinion, and people tell us, like, I don't know what y'all doing with your channel, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, everybody knows, everybody just wants the Cars Quest, and they'll like say stuff. Yea, that's a lot. Like, okay, well. I can't hear it anymore. It's just all opinions and bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're trying to tell these people how to run their game, we don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why people wouldn't. Isn't that what domination was? No, because he came back in domination. Oh, you don't want to come back. 20 players, just quick, rapid battle royale.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just watching the battlefield being played right now. That's probably too much. That was too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm tired now. Oh, are you? Well, it's late as shit. Nah, it was just all the speculating on how a game should be made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, when you were talking about raining, I was thinking about my tires. I don't know if you know this, but my- I don't have to inspect my truck anymore. I'm above the law.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My truck is so old, it's grandfathered in, I don't have to get it. So here's the thing, 2-3 weeks ago, my tires were so slick that even if I just barely touch my brakes in the rain, I'm powersliding for like 50 yards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I knew I just had to set the time up to go get, and I got them now. Got brand new tires. Yeah. We're good. The tires are worth more than the truck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. They are. Stop. Here's the thing now, one of my lights doesn't work. But you know what? I could just let it go. Technically. You put glue a candle to the front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I explain the real scenario? Go. I park on a hill above an objective. Feel like that's what I said? I'm gonna switch to F2, which is the gunner seat. I'm no longer driving the vehicle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, alright, alright, yeah. We got back to battlefield. Let's get back to something important. I got a fog light out in the bumper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know what? Does this happen on cars built in this century where if you have a bulb out, your turn signal just stays illuminated all the time?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, my blinker stays, like, you know how when you turn your blinker on, there's a thing on your dashboard, it goes blink, blink, blink, that stays on. Not my actual blinker though, it's outside of my truck. It stays illuminated to let you know, hey, one of your bulbs is acting crazy. Oooooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not a turnstile. Oh, it goes fast. Yeah, click, click, click, click, click, click. But this is a fog light. I have a fog light that's out, and what my blinker does in the dash is just stays on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So say, hey, something's wrong. There's a light going crazy. Anyway, the truck's so old, the thing that holds my bulb is falling apart. So when I tried to get the bulb out, the bulb just crumbled. And then, when I went to get a new bulb to put it in, it wouldn't hold it. Cause all the parts inside were just deteriorating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't have any coal. I have trees everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what Burning Man should do. They should just get all of the trees shipped out there. Everyone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The best thing about a Christmas tree is the smell. It smells wonderful, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to, used to, near my apartment I used to live in was a Christmas tree disposal area. And man, there is nothing better than being around a thousand decaying Christmas trees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are those only for the ladies? Well, I mean, I'm not going to say anything. Actually, listen, today I had lunch at PT's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it was a- it was a wonderful lunch. Let me set the scene. Okay, really? It was a little re- little rainy, cool out, they've got a covered porch, it's a really nice outdoor dining area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this beautiful overcast breezy day and she had like a pumpkin latte shirt and I'm like, man that is so stereotypical. Look at this lady. Just judging away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So buddy, uh, fell out of a tree. Her cat, her dog found it? Her, one of her animals found it. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll be brief. She found a squirrel. One of her animals found it. She raised it. She named it Buddy. She doesn't take much time when she names animals. Like you, Simon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go ahead, noobs. He just names it the first time. Back to noobs. It's not the story. So anyway, she raises this squirrel, she keeps it in a giant bird cage. The squirrel stays around, she shakes, she shakes, uh, a can of nuts every time she feeds it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, when she releases it in the wild, she'll have a signal so Buddy can return and they can bond. Right? Okay, alright. Buddy gets old enough to leave. Buddy leaves, plays in the trees. Buddy comes back!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He grabs nuts, brings friends, but they're a little skittish. Yeah, because they're not, right.


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[Assistant] How it works. The power goes out one day. She lives in the mountains. What's happened? A breaker's blown. There's a dead squirrel.


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[Assistant] Man, that's fun to bring up again, huh? It wasn't buddy. It was too large to be buddy. There's hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to use a cup and string. It's a soup can, but uhm, so I was like, hey, if you have, cause she has a cell phone, she turns it on maybe three minutes a month, uh, when she's driving through town.


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[Assistant] How old did you just make yourself look here? Look, I am not good at stuff.


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[Assistant] I'm a slow learner. I don't know if you know that. Here's what isn't my thing. I think I'm a slow learner, but I retain stuff.


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[Assistant] Wasn't just yesterday, Travis. Ten years ago. Seems like yesterday. It does. Oh time. Wait a minute, I have a spreadsheet of these. Let me check it. As you do. Of our, of our fuckups. Oh god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My grandma was a master of manipulating me as a child. Oh really? How so? How so? Act one. Oh god please. Just in a loving way. I'm like running around the mall. Naves, come here. I'm gonna get lost.


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[Assistant] I'd make an interesting battlefield, wouldn't it? Just transport. Transport? Ehh, we just truck stuff back in and out.


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[Assistant] Yes, please do it. Oh, so you said that you were gonna be able to give me...


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[Assistant] Well, no, you could do your own two hour version somewhere, but I think that, I don't know, I mean, I don't want to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that would be a lot of fun. Like I would like to watch it with, if you guys, and do a reaction video.


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[Assistant] I think that, uh, I mean, I think us reacting to seeing the surgery or seeing parts of the surgery, I think would be phenomenal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I, can I get reimbursed? It's on your, it's on our channel. No, there's some way that we can do something. I'm sure probably not. It doesn't matter. No, it's fine. But, uh, you could use it because you've produced a video for the channel. You can figure something like that out.


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[Assistant] Obviously. Would any of you guys do you think would be a little skeeved out by seeing? I don't think so. I don't think so. Certain things kinda bug me, but I'm usually pretty good.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's it. Cause I'd rather watch his brain surgery rather than just a vasectomy.


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[Assistant] Right. You know what? I don't wanna see anyone cut open anything, even if it's just a little incision. I don't wanna see those little tubes.


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[Assistant] No. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I would have done the reaction. You guys could have reacted to it. But what we should do is we should talk about what we're really going to talk about and then we'll probably talk about more of that stuff later. Sure. But Genesis 2 or the other one. Lost Island.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so, it, when it's, when he makes, when he's at 80% of what it breeds, it makes me think it's air, like air, like out of the, it's breathing out of the water. It's getting its air. Like it's floating around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now what are your, what, like why wouldn't we do Genesis? Cause the story was something that I thought would be good to guide us through something. Cause it might be interesting, so that'll bring entertainment that we don't have to bring. Cause we're there. Or it's shitty and then we shit on it and that's also fun.


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[Assistant] Genesis 2, Genesis 2, didn't that come out at least in the last 6 months or am I crazy?


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[Assistant] And we all know that, I mean, we could do it until we go, okay, this didn't work. And then it could be only six episodes.


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[Assistant] Oh, I, I'm just saying, uh, yeaah, and I, I don't know how to use mine. But I'm glad that you guys have them and you can use them well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't want to have to go so fast where I can't control if I'm going left or right. I just want to be able to go, Oh look, I'm flying fast. And if I really want to fly fast, just tap twice or three times or so. I bet I, whatever. I'm, I'm simpleton.


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[Assistant] Sounds like two might be more fun. I know that.


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[Assistant] Well, if there is a, it'd be interesting to see if there was an overwhelming, it's probably going to be a lot of people leaning towards that as well, I would think, in the chat. Yeah, maybe so. I'd be surprised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like a day, a day back, we totally could. We were always like, just one more day. I know. So you're gonna be like, oh, well, cause we want to see what animals are left. It just kind of, it's like memory lane, you know, like, you know, it's just a, and you never know. Cause if it happened to spark something, we might go back in a month and a half if we wanted to. I actually thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'd much rather, I don't know, go- I would think that more people would want to see something different.


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[Assistant] It would take us nine years to get to three bosses and then fail at the last one. Yea, right? We'd have to get twenty helpers that did most of the work. We would, we would, that would be the end of Niebz Gaming, I'll tell you that. You think? Yea. I think it would.


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[Assistant] Yes. We've definitely been throwing out more hints lately that, uh, Battlefield friends should come back. Should. Of course. Should. We've always said should.


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[Assistant] Of course we don't. No, but you know what? Well, it's obvious. We've already talked about it. But no, but it also just seems like it's the first time that there's been a game that you guys are excited about that's still worthy of talking about no matter what.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but uh, it is true, Battlefield 4, they keep on, I always keep on seeing stories about how the servers are fouled up, the servers are fouled up.


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[Assistant] Call of Duty or Warzone, I guess the things that I can jump over.


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[Assistant] It's been broken, this lock is a piece of dog shit. We had it fixed like two weeks ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I tried calling my phone from Alexa. I was, I tried calling you from Alexa cause I'm like, I'm going to drive to Absro's house and I'm going to go and cause he has a key and I'm going to go in here, but I wasn't even sure that it was here cause during the stream.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a couple of drinks, I don't know if you knew that. I did. So, uh, I was a little bit confused and I'm like, did I fucking leave it? I'm like, did it fall out? I didn't know I left it here. It could have been here, it could have been in the Uber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, oh, motherfucker. I'm like, I hope it's here.


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[Assistant] Yes, I Facebooked her because. But you had a phone. Yes. No, I had a, I had a phone that would have came up. You don't pick up random phone numbers, do you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I, as soon as I crossed the bridge, I went to go turn into the food line that wasn't there, it was actually like another mile up, and I went...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wrong food line. So then I just, I, so I turned around, it was okay.


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[Assistant] So, uh, so anyway, I, I'd fucked up, so I had made the mistake of telling him, even though you probably knew.


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[Assistant] I should've, yes. I was also frantic without a phone, literally closing up the store so I can go and get my phone. And I'm hungover.


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[Assistant] And tonight, you're not, you have plans tonight, so you're not going out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're gonna need that. I do, I need freakin' the phones. And my phone was out, why? Cause I'm dealing the whole time with the fuckin' guy. On the phone, or at least, that was the excuse for some reason in my head, that's why it came out and it stayed out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice try, Simon, nice try. Why the fuck are you pointing out shit? It's fun. Alright. Anyways, so what next? Just looking at you and your brain. Simon, you mentioned your shit.