[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Snooping about that life. No way. I bet he's got help with- I reckon he- I'm thinking he's- He's loaded. Your Bezos's. Your Bezos's. Your, your, your, your, your Gates's. Right? Your Sultan of Brunei's. These are the people that have-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This level of service, because they're like, I'm so important and busy, I can't buff my own toenails, I need someone to do that for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The potential for anything, anything that you can do that you think, I can't be bothered, you could potentially have someone to do that for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what's funny? You were talking about loneliness while you're looking up your book. My mum sent a text message to Maddie, Mrs. F., saying, you know, you could tell your husband.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That uhm, you know, it would be nice of him to call his mother and sort of, you know, basically said, you know, she's on her own, she doesn't have anyone to talk to and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mom, but the, the days just, there's no differentiation between the days. Normally I'm like, I'll call her on a Wednesday or, you know, I, I know there's a routine, like when I, I, I used to take my youngest to drama and stuff like that, I would call my mom sometimes from the pub and we'd have a chat or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd call her on a Wednesday when they were swimming or something like that. And I had structured these calls in and she came to expect them and she was there and all the rest of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't give her a call the weekend and stuff like that to check she's alright. Two weeks had passed by, and I think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you think about what loneliness is, uhm, for a lot of people, I don't think it's just being alone. It's the feeling that there's no one out there who even cares that you're on your own. That's the real feeling of loneliness. Not just being alone, because some people are like, loneliness? I don't mind being alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just sunk, you know, um, sunk tankers and the destroyers and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, this is why Ubezo says, decide to build spaceships, cause they say, I think I should build a spaceship, and their butler goes, indeed sir, shall I call NASA? Yes, yes, get NASA on the phone right away. No, there's no one there to say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shut the fuck up. This is ridiculous. Although, the SpaceX launch the other week was pretty fu-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Moon missions were like drastically different. Because people lose interest unbelievably quickly in the majesty of putting people on the moon. They're like, eh, I don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would be saying that this was the point that they would look back on with deep regret. Because getting the private industry involved took away the idea of space as being something that all the nations of the planet could explore as humanity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll talk about that in a sec, but uhm, so I would see that as the moment when...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything shifted, and suddenly space became a corporate free for all. And if businesses have the money to get out there, and government entities like NASA,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, the European Space Agency and all the rest of them don't have the money to get out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Space won't be explored, it will be owned. And I think that would be the beginning of- It won't be explored.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There you go! There's a line for the book. So I was on Sitalopram, which I know quite a few people that have panic attacks that get put on, and it was really good, it really helped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did have some side effects, uhm, but they weren't unbearable. Uh, one of them is I clenched my jaw a lot, like all the time. I'll just be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a weird side effect. I don't know how you take a drug that just one of the side effects is, oh yeaah, you'll clench your jaw a lot. What chemical is doing that? Why does my brain have a chemical that says, clench your jaw loads? And somehow citalopram activates that and just clenching the jaw. Weird. But anyway, when I came off it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't, I didn't realize that one of the, what you're meant to do is kind of gradually come off it. I was just like, right, that's it, I'm out, I'm done, let's crack on. And I just stopped taking it and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so crazy, like I'm a big proponent of good chemistry for your brain and stuff, but the stuff you put in, it balances one thing, but it's, just imagine trying to come up with a drug that fixes something as vague as anxiety.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got rewarded by the drug companies for selling their product because it's been commercialized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So at what point, I mean, if you don't see that as a conflict of interest, uh, it would be like having jurors for hire that will come in and guarantee you whatever...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Advice that's, it's good, and it'll also pay for a new car. You know what I mean? That's not good advice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so here's the flip side, you're a doctor, you have a medical degree, and although it was 30 years ago, you've also now got 30 years of on the job experience. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean alright, it might turn out to be some terrible virus from space, but I think I would definitely trust the doctor over


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My own diagnosis, because they'll say, well yes, it could be that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it could also be this. So let's do some tests. Let's take a blood sample. Let's take a biopsy. Let's do some actual work here to figure out what it is and we're gonna make you an appointment with this guy who's an expert in this and this lady who's an expert in that and we're gonna figure out what's wrong with you. Rather than just go


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would also like to give a shout out to Becca on Instagram.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but it's a good, it's a, it's, you're, you're looking for details here, alright? It's, it's interesting that there are planets like ours, even within our range of vision, which is limited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a message, I got a message about a planet being found. Cause yea, I think you angered, you angered a lot of people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Although in the film, uh, Cocoon, anyone remember the film Cocoon? With Wilford Brimley and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in that, one of them goes to the doctors and all the floaters have gone from their eyes. Because the aliens have made them, their bodies young again. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember that, for some reason I remember that weird detail from Cocoon. And that's how I heard that they were called floaters for the first time. Cause to me a floater is someone's done a poo and it's floating in the toilet. That's a floater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, so essentially, if a shapeshifter...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the question is clearly that if the shapeshifter shifts shape into a person and that it's perfect, as you say, even down to like the DNA and the atomic structure of the cells and everything, then they shouldn't be able to shapeshift anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So how are they then different from a human? Because in order to do that, they would have to consume their ability to shape shift, right? So they would have to go- That's right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bink! I'm a person now and there's no difference. But isn't that a bit like the question of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] S-similar, similar sci-fi question, is it if, if Captain Kirk gets on the teleport pad,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was all very expensive and looked like shit. I mean, they get in the shuttles in next gen at the drop of a fucking hat because in next gen they're constantly saying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine, actually, if the aliens turn up in full Nazi regalia? Like, hello Earth! What's up? Huh? This is what you guys love, right? You'd be like, oh my god!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Der Sturmtrooper. Watching, watching Star Wars with a German dub must be a little close to home. Little close to home. Wow. I think. I wouldn't want to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solo is decent. I actually quite enjoyed it. I thought that if you, if you look at the new Star Wars stuff that's come out, Solo was decent. I know some people didn't like it. I thought it was, it was alright. It was a nice little movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The internet has been shit. Delta's been doing the same thing over the last few days by the way. Randomly booting people out of the game for like 10 minutes at a time and then they'll reconnect and someone else will get booted out. It's shit. The internet's gone to shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everybody, good morning, and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. That's right, uh, I'm, I'm here, Lewis, also Sips, how are you doing? Great. Pirianflax, how are you? Sup! Uh, we are, ugh, what, what are we? I don't know, I'm, I'm a kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a kind of, I guess I'm now a YouTuber slash Twitch streamer. It's kind of out of date, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, 10 years old. You're having an existential crisis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm 37 today, hello, uhm, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Well done. That doesn't happen to normally end on a, drop or fall on a Thursday, on a birthday, but for some reason Triforce today is a Thursday, and also I've got a dentist appointment on my birthday, I don't know how this happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a lot of shit about other people's birthdays as well and really think that, are really worried that they would be upset if it wasn't the best day ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this is a bit of a problem. I think, I think some people do mind when you forget your birthday. Over the course of the year, I feel a bit embarrassed or guilty a couple of times when someone says it's so-and-so's birthday today, if you've got them anything. And I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think maybe it's time, well, the thing is we do have a list of birthdays in the office. And, um, I mean, that's a classic thing that like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It goes into a calendar, right? You, you, the first thing you put in your calendar is everyone's birthdays in there or you copy them over from last year sort of thing. Um, I, I, in, in, I imagine a parallel world where Facebook evolved as that, right? Imagine if Facebook was called birthday book or whatever and it was originally like, um, a way to track other people's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Well, you're not wrong actually, cause that's like star signs, right? So, I mean, uh, and also, um, Chinese new year, I was born in the year of the pig, right? Which is 1983. I'm a dragon, mate. Get with the program.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fire dragon, you're a fire dragon. Actually, when is your birthday?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, that's what you have to do. It's like one of those things in life that you have to drop hints. Like if you actually give a shit about it or someone else drops hints for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we need three massive liters of dried buckwheat, uh, we don't even know what that does, and it went out of date ten years ago, but we're gonna keep it in this cabinet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a trash vat. It's like a concrete mixer turns up outside your house full of cereal when you just go out with your Tupperware and fill it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so. They know that anyone who meets anyone on the island is going to be related somehow anyway, so they're like, let's just. Better make sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was like this funny transition period because we started to have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Facebook wasn't really a thing until the, until I was in my very last year of uni. And so as a result, I just don't really, I don't think anyone really shared pictures of me from that time. And it's kind of nice in a way because I was a spotty nerdy kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's that turtle neck picture of me, isn't there? Like there's not many, um, there's not many pictures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I, I, I get it, like, I think that it, I mean, is that evolution? Is that like survival of the fittest? Is that like, you know, when you, when it's presented with 60 choices, you have to, we do live in this world where they have to grab you in the first three seconds, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you what happened to me this weekend, which is probably a bit embarrassing and I'm sort of afraid to talk about it, but I was talking to Duncan and he said they've just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Waved it under my nose and as I was just breathing, I inhaled a bit of cocaine and I was like, oh, I love cocaine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is wow, this is a metaphor. So did you actually install and play wow? Like you tried the prepatch. So I installed World of Warcraft, the original nostalgia trip for all of us. The vanilla. And yeah, the classic, no, not the classic version.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I usually play the expansions. It's nice to talk to everyone. It's kind of this weird like ritual almost every year and a half. I log in and see all these old names and we're like, Oh, what are you guys doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels to me like a reunion, a school going to a school reunion. Cause I don't really go to school reunions or want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's certain people who go to them as well though. There's certain types of people who, uh, you know who you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could imagine the kid in school who is still going to school reunions 25 years later. You know who they are, right? Uhm, it's you Patrick Allen. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was doing like the, they've added this sort of new tutorial zone to like grab people, right? And it's this, it's kind of what you have to do and it feels like they've built this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Partly in, because it's almost like they did a survey. This is how it went in my head. They were like, we're gonna do a survey, we're gonna put an advert out and it's gonna be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, ask people, we need some game testers. Have you ever played WoW? And then if people answered no, they got all those people together and they showed them WoW and they were like, what mistakes are these guys doing? How do they not know how to play this game? You know, almost like your kid playing Metroid, right? Sips like someone who is a different generation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and, and they built this sort of hour long tutorial zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope I could be objective. I hope I could be objective as well and look at the game without that cloud, that, that nostalgia goggles because I, it was bad for me and I think they've only made it worse, like in terms of how it hooks you in. And I hope that me as a 37 year old man, having played a lot of different games over the last year,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I've played more games over the last year than I've ever played in my life, probably. Um, you know, cause, cause I've, I've kind of been very laser focused on, on just this couple of specific games, you know, and I, I, I feel better for it. I feel, I'm, I feel like I have been exposed to a lot of, I think the best games that I've played lately, I've definitely changed as my habits have, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looking at WoW now, I'm not hungry to level or hungry to like play the way I was before, right? I'm not hungry to achieve things. I'm much more, I think the best games that I've played this year have had a good story behind them. Or sometimes they've even just been a story, like where you just click your way through the story, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think my gaming desires have changed as I've grown up and it's kind of interesting to think that because.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it means that people are all, that's why games are so different, right? Like each person is at a different stage on that journey between, or looking for something different. Some people are looking for something competitive to really kind of challenge them and to learn and to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no. We don't, you don't need people to tell you that. You could just look at your fucking horoscope and it'll tell you that. You have been gifted P-flags with innate courage, tenacity and intelligence. In ancient times, people thought that dragons were best suited to be the leaders of the world with character traits of dominance and ambition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that horoscopes were more aware of that type of thing. Maybe they'd be more accurate as well. Like I think you could always say that people who are


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, an average guy in the last set, you know, because they just, uh, they, there's maybe not that much difference actually, but, um, it's definitely something strange, but that's horoscopes, right? What we're talking about here is more years. Now there is a similar symptom in years, like certainly there was this generation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you tend to get these clusters, right, of age, similar age group, usually white men. Um, and it happened to fall back when there was sort of, you know, oil boom and things like that. And so throughout, it does depend what year you're born. Like it can depend, like what,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're able to take advantage of a specific kind of new wave of something going by, you know, we were the right age for YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, I did see something that annoyed me this week. So I, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A friend of mine was watching for some fucking reason, uh, a smosh video where he was dressed up as an adult baby. Right. And I caught the end of the YouTube video and I was like, what the fuck is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just soft core paedophilia, right? I don't think it's okay. I mean, I, I'm, I'm not, I just don't think it's in any way, shape or form. I mean, it's creepy. It's not, I don't think we should be legitimizing it as a fetish at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a lifestyle. No, it was, it was, it was about defending this lifestyle and being kind of open to them. Now we're on the internet now and it's 2020 and we're very open to everything. Okay. But there's got to be a line in the sand. And I think that adult babies are over that line. They shouldn't be allowed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, good. I'm glad because I just, I was just like, I was angry. I was like, this, this, this shouldn't be happening. I don't like Smosh at the best of times, but I just- I didn't even, do you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assume the guy who runs it is, I only caught the end of the video. So I assume maybe it's like the guy, Anthony Padilla doing it on his own and maybe, maybe it's all hyper aware and he's taking the piss out of it and stuff, but I don't know. But I just, I just caught the end of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, he must still be very successful. I just, I was just like, why are you watching this? And why, why is this a thing? Like I was angry for two reasons. I was angry at the person who was watching it and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the thing itself. Because I don't think you should be watching him in, in 2020. Even if YouTube just turns you off to his channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People just not, not following basic instructions or putting zero effort into something. But that's just a daily occurrence. Like mostly hide that anger and mostly the staff are competent enough that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's only the problem, it's only one problematic staff member who is the most annoying at the time. And if he's not around or she's not around, it's the next, the next person gets, gets in my line of vision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like we forgive, like if we have a really inept staff member, as we have had in the past, you know, everyone else can pretty much get away with murder. Do you know what I mean? Because it doesn't matter what, how bad you are, you're not as bad as the guy who is terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we've had some one, but equally we've had some absolute stars. Yeah, you still have. And we've managed to, I think we honestly, nowadays we have very little problems, like in the last year or so we've had very little problems. We've had a truly great, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On your, on your day, the uh, Soyuz, on your birthday, the Soyuz T2 carried two cosmonauts to the Salyut 6 space station. What year was this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, 1980, is that you? Yeah. June 5th, 1980. Yeah. Yeah. And also Suthi Sukhsumkit, the Thai football player was born as well as Yasser Latif Hamdani, the Pakistani constitution.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Star in China, didn't he? Because he had like this, he had like this one weird, it's become like the unofficial national closing song called, it's a song called Going Home and they play it like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no. It's like every day. It's like to tell people to leave the store. So it's like this thing that's in their minds. It's like a trigger. So it's like uhm, in Japan they play, each train station has little jingles. So when it stops, people hear the jingle and they get off at their stop, right? Or the jingles let them know that they're getting close to their stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why Ted Cassidy, he sounds like he's got a beautiful, like, um, kind of, kind of, you know, fifties era TV star name featuring Ted Cassidy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's such a, such a like black and white movie name, isn't it? You know, you'd put that on the poster and all the girls would come.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cleaners tend to clean a certain thing. So my cleaner does the mopping and like mops the kitchen and tidies that up and cleans the bathrooms and then doesn't do certain things. And I do the windows. I don't know. It's like a team effort really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy crap. Well, that's, that's what we've got time for today. You've got to go. I've got to go. Yeah. I've got some big boy things to take care of. Okay. I've got to get to the dentist and, um, yeah, thanks for, thanks for watching. See you next time. Thanks very much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Mrs. F is, is around, she's got the week off, uhm, cause my oldest has gone back to school. So she's, you know, chilling with her and stuff, getting her used to being on her own again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An old movie. Oddly enough, iPlayer has a lot of older movies on. I didn't, I didn't know this until Mrs. F pointed it out. But if you go look on iPlayer and films, there's tons of old movies. Absolutely tons. Very old, a lot of them very good. So I watched, uh, I watched Angel Face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He walks in, now bear in mind, he's trying to sell her insurance, life insurance, cause you can get, I don't know if he still can, I don't believe you can, but you can take out life insurance on someone else's life. And they didn't even necessarily need to know about this policy. So she's like this sort of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you see them in these movies, they're just lit on the eyes, they're normally in shadow, they're always smoking. Hey, mister.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just like, all throughout the movie, he's basically like, uh, get me a cup of coffee. To whichever woman is in sight. And it just, it just makes me laugh. Like, that was, yea, that's the way you do it. If there's a woman to hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get her to make you a coffee or hang your hat up or stuff. It just, it just cracks me up. So the whole film, although it was brilliant, it is so incredibly dated that it sticks out like a sore thumb. I recommend watching it just for those moments alone are hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is either pre-war or post-war. Like most of the, most of them are set pre-war. But I think quite a lot of them were made in the 40s and 50s. Some of them were made like during the war and they just don't mention it. Because I guess the Americans hadn't gotten involved yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, there was one, Angel Face, which was made, I think it was probably made in the, in the, um, late thirties. Oh, let me look it up actually. It was, it was a good movie. It was a good movie. 1953 this was made. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's to do with insurance, I think. Let me see if I can find the movie. It's 1944.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, so a double indemnity is to do with, uhm, it's an insurance thing. Let me see if I can find the details of it, because they mention it, but I couldn't remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That much has changed, I mean people had cars, they had jobs, we had planes, you know, they had telephones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I think the interesting thing is, the Rodney King riots were very much, um, centered around like rioting in LA. And it was mainly black people rioting in LA, was like the Rodney King riots, the LA riots and all that stuff, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, he is, he, he's got his hands in his pockets. I wouldn't be surprised if he's jiggling his dick with one of the hands in his pocket. He seems to be enjoying it very much that he's got his knee on this guy's neck. I was fucking disgusted. And then you see the police driving their cars into people. It's fucking disgusting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he is. This is, this is gonna divide America. And they also know there is a fucking election coming up. I wouldn't, I would be amazed. I, I'd assumed for a very long time that he would win a second election because I just think he had, it's very rare for an incumbent president to lose a second election.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's unusual. More often than not, you win once, you're gonna win the second time because people are like, wow, he's already in there. Give him a show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of sight, out of mind. If you can, like a shed especially, it's not like a cupboard. You might open a cupboard occasionally. How often do you go down to a shed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go down there to dump stuff in it, and I mean, you just sort of open the door and throw it in there and close the door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hand me that crack pipe and those, those, those baggies of meth. Because I've gotta go get some beer. You know, I, I, and then, and I'm gonna drink the beer in the car while I'm driving home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm gonna drive like an idiot. That's the other thing. They all drive these busted up cars with fucked up taillights, and they drive like idiots. They don't signal, they're veering all over the place, they're just, they'll just park up randomly because they're so fucking high they can't drive anymore, and the police come up and say, and they go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, uh, can you wind down the window for me please? And you immediately do not do that. Okay? Because the once you wind down the window, all the weed smell comes out and they go...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the police are the same. Is there anything in the car I should know about? First of all they say, you got anything in your pocket, anything sharp that's gonna spike me or hurt me? You got any weapons in you? No sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there anything in the car? There's nothing in the car. And then they'll say, okay, cause I'm going to look in the car and if I find something, it's going to go badly for you. Be honest with me and say, all right, there's some weed in the car. And they'll say, all right, let's, it's just a little bit of weed or just a tiny bit. And then they'll go and look and they'll find like three kilograms of weed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the guy says, this car isn't mine. That always happens. Whose car is it? Oh, uh, it's, I, uh, I borrowed it from my, uh, brothers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, girlfriend's, uh, mom, who borrowed it from her uncle. Okay, whose weed is this? Oh, the weed isn't mine. I didn't even know it was in there. And then they'll say, okay, we're going to keep searching, get the drug dog. And they'll say, yeah, okay, so that meth that you found and, and those two guns, uh, they're not mine. And then they'll say, and then they'll say, all right, you're under arrest. They'll say, well, what did I do wrong? Were you arresting me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weed isn't mine. All the other stuff you just found isn't mine. What did I do wrong? Like it's, it's like a flow chart in their brain. And it's just panic. They just panic. Or the police will knock on the window and the guy turns and there's sweat pouring off him. You seem nervous. You alright? Yeah, I'm just fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you mustn't. You haven't watched the other videos that get recommended to you. What to do when you get stopped by the police.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Stop my car. Right, it's my auntie's, my sister-in-law's auntie's car. You failed to make a turn signal, the police pull you over. I'll be the officer and you be the guy, I'll tell you everything you've done wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello. So the reason I pulled you over today is because you failed to make a turn signal back there. Do you have your license and registration and insurance documentation on you please?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sips is your passenger by the way, so anything he says the cop is gonna hear as well. Can you guys just keep your hands where I can see them? Please stop reaching around in your pockets. Put them on the dashboard now tell me-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the first thing, you've done so much wrong. Alright, so he'll say, is there anything in the car I should know about? Anything illegal in the car? Uh, no. So you wouldn't mind me having a look inside the car? Uhm, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have to? Uh, well sir, it would be, it would be much easier for you if I did it now. If I have to detain you and I've had to take the car away down to the station, anything you bring there, if you've had drugs on you when we take you to jail, that will count as you smuggling drugs into jail. And you would be much better to get it off you here. How does that work?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rather than get a bigger sentence down at the station. So tell me now, is there anything in the call that shouldn't be there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so it's okay to search it. If you just hop out, sir, uhm, and my, uh, my partner here's gonna look after you while I have a look around your car. So you get out of the car? Yep. Sips gets out of the car? No, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, we got a problem here. Alright, put cuffs on Lewis, and now I'm gonna call for backup, and now we can definitely search your car, and we're gonna forcibly remove you from the car if you don't get out in the next few seconds, so I need you to get out of the car, we're gonna drag you out of the car and cuff you, you'll be arrested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All for a simple traffic stop. And now I'm searching your car, you might have an old joint stuffed in the back of the seat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know what is in there, a little, a little ball of cocaine might have fallen out from some old shoe, right? And now that's in the car, I'm gonna catch, you're gonna catch that. All of this stuff that's gone wrong could be prevented very simply. Number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep your, oh, obviously there are times this will go wrong. Your license and registration have to be on you and they have to be to hand. When the officer stops you, don't wind your window all the way down. Just wind it down a tiny bit, just enough that you can hear me say, what, what's, what can I help you with, officer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you'll say, can I, do you have your ID and registration please? And you pass those out the window. As long as you don't have any warrants on you, he'll write you a ticket, he gives you back your ID, and you go. That's the idea. If they say to you, is there anything in the card that shouldn't be there? You should say no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is nothing illegal in the car. Well, you don't mind me searching then, do you? I do not want to be searched. I do not want you searching my car. You don't have probable cause. I don't want you searching my car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, if they find anything, you go into fucking jail. You are going to jail. And you've given them this free opportunity to search your car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they haven't got probable cause. When you wind the window down all the way and all this weed smoke comes pouring out, now they've got probable cause. But until you do that, they don't have probable cause. They've stopped you from-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Traffic violation, they give you the ticket for that, end of story. But people dig themselves into this hole, they're digging and they're digging and they're digging, there's nothing in the car, only a little mess, you know, and then all of a sudden, they're going to prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's purely because the rules are there to protect people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the police have to get past those rules to catch people, generally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like it's rare that someone's just gonna fucking, the police officer's gonna say, hi, the reason I'm stopping you is because of the weed in my car. Like that's not gonna happen very often. And like I said, an awful lot of people, certainly on live PD, drive around with stuff on them they shouldn't have. Loads, you know what the other thing is? An awful lot of Americans have been to jail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For relatively minor things, you get banged up pretty quickly in America. Like it's a very, very, very strict...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They could be for minor things, like, but they've got them. And the moment you get pulled over, you're opening yourself up to a whole world of legal pain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the police know that. And I guess if they pull you over and you get, and there's, it's nothing. Like I got pulled over, I think I'd spoke about this before, I went through a stop sign, I was lost, I was unfamiliar with driving in America, I went through a stop sign and the cop was, I didn't even see him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that. And there was the lights and I was like, ah fuck, I'm gonna get shot in the face or something. This guy pulled me over. Very nice guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he explained how stop signs work in a very patronising way, which was very funny. And I went, you know, that's fine. It was a perfectly normal stop. I genuinely didn't have anything illegal in the car. Because I'm a fucking tourist, I'm not gonna be that stupid. But if I'm just some local guy who smokes weed occasionally and maybe, you know, even some meth, which is not cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, you had to do 818 hours of basic training. That's 30 days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So after a month, a 21 year old could be anybody, as long as he hasn't got a criminal record, he's a fucking cop now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's say that you've got some guys who've been cops for 10 years and they're, they're racists. I'm not saying, I'm absolutely not saying that they are all like that, but it doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because enough of them are, that if you have 30 days training, and you're 21 or 22, and the guy who's been there 10 years, big guy, lot of respect around the police force, very tough, very confident, if he tells you this is the way it is, you're gonna believe him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't think this was against the training. You think I'll do what everybody else is doing because that's how jobs work. You tend to fall into line along what your colleagues are doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what else you were saying about, about, Lewis was asking why do they do all this tricksy stuff and why are they so determined to catch all this stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the states in America, if the police sees stuff, they get to keep that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whether it's money, whether it's, whether it's equipment or anything they, they pinch. If they think that you've got it legally, they will take it and they get to keep it. So if they stop you, if you watch, there was a really good Daily Show about this a few years back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you look at the police, yes, these are riot police.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they've brought out the National Guard, American police. When I was a kid, the police in New York wore a blue shirt, dark blue trousers, they had their belt with the truncheon and the gun and odds and ends, but they had a regular old hat. Right? Just the old police. They looked more like cops. I feel like the police now look like fucking paramilitary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He extended the three strikes thing, like he fucked up. The three strikes thing put an awful lot of people, cause your third strike could be something very minor and you're going to prison for fucking forever. And they don't even have to be violent crimes. Most of the people in prison are not there for violent crimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the thing you guys are forgetting is that Trump got elected. Like, it's all very well saying that we need to do this and they need to do that, but an awful lot of Americans apparently think this is fine. Like, that's the thing you've got to consider. Is that it's all very well saying this needs to change, but a lot of people are electing people that definitely don't want things to change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, he's just having his appendix out. Appendix? Hey, don't do appendix, I'm raising my hand. We're going to take his heart out and replace it with peanut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The vapid one. The one that he wants to fuck. I can't remember her name. What a world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I guarantee you, I guarantee you, in a few years time, when sh- when she's still hot and young, they'll say, isn't this wonderful, a young female president is finally running, this is fantastic. And all the people who've been calling for a female president for years will be horrified because it's like, yeah but not that one!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're gonna look there and she's gonna be all glamorous and she's gonna be, she can, she's very, she speaks very well. She, I mean, Donald Trump doesn't come out with all these big ideas. He just, he's just very good at appearing impenetrable and, and, and beating the other person to debate. If she just stands there and looks beautiful and says a few of the right things, she'll win.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's like beautiful and I believe that America must come together and I should be the president to do it. And I love everybody and you're all awesome. And uh, look at me, I have a really good smile and all the rest of it. Hands down. Instantly in. Instantly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But most of the people that voted for him, I think a lot of the people that voted for him are white and not wealthy. And they are furious because they're like, we're not meant to be the poor ones. Uh, the black people are meant to be the poor ones. That's a big factor. People out protesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think that it's a good thing that Twitter has done this. And I would hope, I would sincerely hope, no, a lot of people don't. This is the thing, you're thinking, a lot of people think that, but you're talking about people that you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, no, but not just Twitter because Twitter, Twitter is news. He's made it news. Think how often you read the president's tweet today. That's the fucking headline now. So it is more than just, just Twitter. It's huge because of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that his voice is so big and can change everything from political opinion to foreign policy to how other countries think about America, stock prices, all of it based on his fucking tweets, it does matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think it's, it's, it seems targeted towards, it's like an anti-conservative thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they've specifically targeted Donald Trump. So it feels like it's a leftist plot, which is how it's being spun, to silence conservative voices. Now I made the point that he's more than just a conservative voice, he's the most powerful man in the world. And if he is openly lying on your platform, bear in mind this is not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Freedom of Speech, this is a fucking private company, and they- he's using their platform. So it's not censorship, they are within their rights to remove messages that are against their terms of service, or to fact check stuff, because it's their fucking business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I welcome it because we had a, uh, a hot spell over here. Uh, it was for once very humid. It was muggy, which is unheard of over here. And for like a week, maybe a week and a half, it was unbearable. It was the worst. So you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm glad that the autumn has arrived. I quite like this time of year. I like it a bit cooler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like the days running shorter though. I hate when the clocks, um, switch. Yeah, they should stop that shit. Stupid. But I do like the cooler breeze, the cooler air and stuff. It's, it's much better. It's much more comfortable, right? I sleep a lot better. Like, I don't know, just everything. It does make things better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I feel like dogs love farts. They love the smells that you make. They gotta love the smell and the taste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think the colors that they can see in the air representing smells, um, are the same colors that we would, um, sort of like, you know, associate with things like what, like I would, I would imagine that if you could see a fart in the air, it would either be kind of like a gross,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brownish green color or just straight up brown, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say more like a sort of brownish grey, you know, like a, like a, like a clay sort of colour, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I would, I would save that one for either actual poison gas or farts. I wouldn't use green for cigarette smoke. I would just have that as like a sort of whitish gray.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a carbonated, right? It's like, it's got like, it's got, it's a fizzes. Why can't you carbonate stuff in a bag though? You can't put that in a bag. Can you not put it in a bag? Wine is flat, right? Why can't you put it in a bag? Well, I think it just goes against all the laws of physics in nature. I think if you get a buildup of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This feels like one of those things that you don't need to analyze because I think there's smarter people out there that would have found a way to make it work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this, is this person, uh, in the Augscast? Because I'm trying to think of who in the Augscast could ever in their wildest dreams get a Tesla. Uhm, so they're not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is so weird. Does the phone screen pick up like kids and dogs and stuff too? Would you be able to see those?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like, I feel like the hype for them is, is, is a bit crazy because there's, there are other electric cars that will be fine as well, right? Like it's not, they're not the be all end all really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lots of companies are, yeaah. There's, I mean, you know, not only that, there's, you know, there's hybrids as well. I mean, most people I think now probably would just go for full electric over hybrid because I think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's definitely a type as well, right? I mean, I don't know much, I don't know much about his personal life. I know like, like enough to sort of make a very general, uh, opinion about him or whatever, but like, I feel like he's a bit sort of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe Steve Jobs and other people like that, where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're dreamers, right? They have these, they have these big ideas, they get stuck down these, like, sort of, uh, vision corridors where, uhm, you know, things work out well for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In reality, in real life, they, they leave like a trail of destruction behind them, right? There's a lot of people that, uhm, have these like awful run-ins with them. They have like their personal life isn't like great. There's like divorces and kids all over the place and there's, you know what I mean? Like it's, it seems like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems like this is a type, right? And this type seems to lend itself well to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got like that iPhone hype sort of thing around it, right? Where you think it's like the best in its class or whatever. And then, but really when it comes to it, it's just another car. And the iPhone is just another phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the time, at the height of blackberry popularity, they were ideal business phones, right? Well, you had to have one, didn't you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I worked at the bank, they used to give them out to like people that were on call and like, you know, like the big, the big shot, the big money makers and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't go to a very nice school. The school I went to was like a, you know, a really sort of run of the mill, like school for everyone. There wasn't like fees or anything like that. And we learned how to play golf at school. Like during our phys ed class for like two weeks, we had like a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I feel it's like the same, I feel like CK3 just sort of like streamlined it a bit more, but it's more or less the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like, it's not strictly the same as it used to be, but I think the, um, I think like the spirit of how it used to be is still alive, right? Like I think you still have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you said, corruption and stuff like that. And it, it seems to be like a different, there's a, there's definitely a different set of rules for people that have like a lot of money and power, right? Like they can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went on a, um, uh, relating to this somehow. I went on a, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the weekend, I went, I took my kids and my wife, well, we all went together. I didn't take them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and it just sort of goes around the island. You just see like the island from a different perspective. Yeah, there's like the lighthouse. There's lots of really nice like houses on the coast. There's lots of history and stuff. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're, so we're going around and looking at all these places and you get, you get to certain like bays around the island and uhm, you know, they're built up. There's like, there's other hotels or, or nice big houses, you know, like multi-million pound houses owned by


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is beautiful, like old house, uh, and it's just like right on the coast. It's got its own like slipway on the beach and everything. It's, it's really, really nice, right? And, um, so somebody, somebody obviously bought it and, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And added like, it's not like an extension, but it looks like it's a whole new building, but it's on the grounds of the house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but it's like not at all like the original house, right? Like the original house looks like it, like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of like a really nice old like, like Victorian house or something, you know, like the, like these old like estate houses that you get like across England or whatever. It's kind of like that. And then the new building, like right next to it is this just like, it's, it's all black and it just looks like something out of the future or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It really doesn't match with what's there already and it looks like a little bit garish like on the coastline or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the guy doing the tour is like, uhm, you know, ah, it's a shame. It's, it, it, it looks nice enough, but it's not really with, with keeping with like the theme of like the coast and stuff like that. And, uhm, I just sort of, my wife and I looked at each other and it was one of those where it's just like, yeah, well, I guess you just can do whatever you like when you have like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you have to, you have to fucking sign a million forms and get it through planning and bylaws and this and that and the other. Uhm, but when you have like fucking 50 million and you own a house on the coast, whatever, do what you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, I like stuff like that and I like old stuff as well. You know, like I like that sort of like, you know, like the traditional looking. Romanesque pillars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not so much that. It's more like, you know, like, if you go out into like the English countryside or whatever, like, I don't know, I feel like those sort of like traditional country looking houses fit perfectly in that setting, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't, you don't, you don't tend to go out there and just see like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in the middle of a field, like, uh, like a five story high rise flats that looked like they were built in the eighties. Exactly. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I, I feel like, I don't know. I feel like I prefer that. No, I agree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is, which is fair enough, right? Like they want, they, you know, they want to keep like a certain aesthetic to the area and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I feel like it, I feel like probably somebody turned up and said, eh, we're not really sure you could do this. And they just said, well, I've got, here's 70 million. And they're like, yeah, okay, go for it. You know, like, it's just, I don't think there was like really much convincing there. Like, even though I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, property, no matter where, if, if you're anywhere near a city, uhm, it's expensive. And then the further out you go, uhm, property's expensive because there's more land involved in, and stuff like that. So it's really not like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no, there's no, there's no real way around it, you know what I mean? So I think a lot of people opt for, well, I'm just going to live in the city because it's closer to everything and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. No, but it's, I mean, it's like that, it's like that everywhere now. It's, you know, it's just, it's just, just the way things are going. Like, and, and, you know, people,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People who are growing up now and uhm, thinking of leaving home for the first time and that's, you know, that's, that's, that's a thing, right? Like, we, like, I used to live in a, the first place I ever moved into was a bed-sit and even my bed-sit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, of course not. I think it's very, very minimalist, but I'm always amazed. Like we, like you walk through, if you walk through like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you walk through an estate, or if you walk through like uhm, you know, like a building development or whatever, and uh, on a hot day when people's windows are all open and stuff, and you can kinda see inside their houses, I'm always fucking amazed by how much shit people have, like, up to the fucking rafters, you know, they've got like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the idea of like, uh, like minimalist living and the aesthetic of it and everything as well, but I just don't know, like, I feel like it's difficult, right? I feel like we're definitely of a generation where you had stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and I feel like up and coming generations will still have stuff, but there's a lot more sort of focus on, on services, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, and that's because, like, you don't need that much stuff anymore, you know? Like, I remember-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Books and I had DVDs and stuff that I wanted to have, I wanted to bring with me. But like, you don't really need any of that shit anymore, right? Most stuff is streamed, most stuff, books and shit like that, you can just read it on a device or something like that. There's a lot of stuff that's been digitized, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if you do though. I mean, I, I feel like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have a lot of shit. Most of my shit, uhm, I have, like, I have a computer. I have a desk with a computer, screens and stuff like that, which, you know, I use for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Streaming and whatever, it's also my hobby. Your kids have a lot of shit. My kids, yea, my house, I'd say 95% of the stuff in my house is my kids stuff. They have a lot of shit. They have so much crap. It's crazy, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, but me and my wife aren't, aren't very, uh, we're not really like, we don't have stuff, you know what I mean? We don't, we don't collect anything. There's no way to put it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, the air fryer is in, we use it, I'd say like two, three times a week, it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, they're good. They're really good. Uhm, we got a, uh, we got this juicer recently as well, but it's like, it's not a smoothie maker. It's a, it's like a full on juicer. So like for, for example, you put an apple in to this thing and it will juice it and just get rid of all the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The stuff, but you don't need to like prepare it in any way, literally just drop the apple in with the stem, everything. And this, this thing will just get rid of all the crap. It will just molt. You'll get like a brown mulch and you'll get some juice out of it. Um, but it's nice because it retains like a lot of like the good shit that you'd, you'd want from the apple as well, but just makes it into a juice form.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's quite nice cause so you can make like mixes and stuff. So you could put an orange in there, but the nice thing about it is that it's really easy to clean and it's really easy to take apart and put back together again. So it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and we have an apple tree. So this year we want to, uh, not waste a ton of apples. So we want to actually, like, um, like normally we eat them, but there's so many that we can't eat all of them and never.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I wanna make some cider, yeah, but in the meantime, because I'm not really ready to make cider just yet, we're gonna, we're gonna juice them up. What's holding you back from your cider making drill? Laziness, uhm, just sheer 100% laziness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, there's so many apples, you wouldn't believe it. Like, uh, the value you get from one apple tree is immense. Just one tree can produce so much fruit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, how great would it have been though if you were like, that's a shame.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As you're remembering the element that burst inside your oven and this Bulgarian guy is


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just got the standard four, but honestly, uh, the place I used to live before we bought our house, um, we lived in an apartment that was hooked up to, uh, we had a gas combi boiler and then, uh, because we had the gas line, we also had a gas oven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, holy shit man, gas ovens are the fucking best. Like, uh, you get so much like heat control and the food just tastes better. And like, I, I wish I could get gas like hooked up to my house and get a gas oven again. It's fucking great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's exactly what I'd expect a filthy microwave lover to say about gas. Just another, another big scam by big microwave. Oh, I live out of that microwave, baby. I don't need no oven. I bet you do. I bet you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. Oh god. No, I'm just, I don't know, I just think it's important to stay safe online, you know what I mean? Like, you never know who's out there trying to scam you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is it one of those situations where you won a, uh, like a basically a meal ticket at a very fancy restaurant, you turn up and people who normally go to those restaurants pay a lot of money to like be there and they're high class, high, highfalutin, tootin, uhm, you know, high, you know, bank types or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keeping up appearances. It's, it's just funny because it's about this like, uh, middle class suburban woman who thinks she's like, elite upper class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. And she looks down on her, on her brother-in-law, uh, onslaught, who was just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know, like a straight up Northern working class man, you know, he's got like a fucking junk down, a car in his front yard. He lives on a, like on an estate and stuff, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Things always just like, uh, go their way somehow, you know, like this episode in particular where they win like this five star luxury cruise that like, you know, her whole calendar year has been leading up to her and her and Richard are going on this, uh, you know, high luxury cruise or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy just fucking locks out, wins a ticket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, it's a funny situation, but it just like, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He always reminds me of, uh, Junior Soprano, like, uh, just like that crusty old, like, fucking grumpy man, you know, like it's- Hey, I don't believe it! Tony! That kid's got some moxie considering his size.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, uhm, it's like that, it's like extras, like uhm, you know, the show with his catchphrase and stuff like that. Yeah. He makes a lot of fun of that sort of, uh, style of TV, doesn't he? Yeah. And that, I think Last of the Summer Wine is like, uh, is like a perfect example of that, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that, I think there was like some catch phrases, but I think you had to be, I think you had to watch them to know them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fools and Horses is one of those shows where it doesn't translate outside of the UK, right? Like, it would never get- I would assume not. You'd never get it. You'd never see it in North America or anything. Like, I certainly never remembered it being on TV or seeing it before I moved over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I moved over here, uhm, it used to be on like UK TV Gold and shit all the time. So like I, I pretty much I think seen like almost every episode of that show just from it being on at various times, like during lunch hours or whatever. But man, there's always this one scene that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every time I see it in that show, uh, makes me laugh. And it's fucking, it's that episode where, like, uhm, you know, uhm, you know, Rodney's like driving down a road really fast. And, uhm, I think, is it, is it Trigger? Is it, is it Trig? Trigger? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's outside like, like, I don't know, sweeping a driveway or something and the car runs over his broom and he turns around and goes, easy there Dave!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Father Ted, keeping up appearances, last of the summer wine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was the same when I ate three of my kids, um, uh, Easter eggs. Uh, I wish there was something that would stop me doing this and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I gotta make sure they eat healthy too and they'll never be able to eat healthy if there's that much chocolate in the house. So I'm, I'm doing everybody a favor by eating it all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, pizza yes. When they don't eat their broccoli, no. I don't, you know, there's certain things that you'll- That's what Terry's for. Yeah, there's certain things that you'll like take one for the team and finish what they haven't sort of thing. But then there's other things where it's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Otherwise, I don't even finish those half the time. If like, if I'm getting to the point where I'm pausing and going like to the bathroom and coming back, I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I really want to watch this? I just, I just don't, I just turn it off. I'm not, I'm not like proud in that way, you know, like I don't feel like I have to watch something or, you know, like if it's, if it's no good, I just switch it off. I just don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you have to, it's a, it's like a, it feels like it's like a Garry's mod map in that you live in a city that's completely enclosed by walls and there's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sometimes like out a window, sometimes like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thing is, you need to do it in a way where like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's, there's two things that you need to be careful of. You need to be careful that you don't get raided by the cops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's it. You gotta change it around. I think like the, I think like the, the old tried, tested and true is, is you, you get kids to do the dealing for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a really popular way of doing it in uhm, in parts of Italy is that you have like somebody who kinda like takes the order, relays it back to a dude who's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. And it's just another way of, of making sure that you don't get robbed or caught or whatever it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Mr. Skinny from the Mr. Men universe. Mr. Skinny found one day that he could fit into the drug hole. And he stole all of the drugs. Naughty Mr. Skinny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right, he has, he has a voicemail thing that he checks once in a while and apparently he like, he just missed out on like a ton of great opportunities because he didn't check them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but then equally when times that he did check, he picked up, um, these things that were just like, because I think, I think in the, around like the time of Ghostbusters,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bill Murray was like, was, was, was big time. He was like at the height because of Saturday Night Live and he was part of that, that, um, that circle of, of really popular Saturday Night Live comedians. So I think things were just thrown at him sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he said he had fun doing it, but apparently, like, uhm, he didn't get along with, uhm, with, with, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it seems, it's a bit like Samuel L. Jackson with Quentin Tarantino. Like, I think they just get on really well and they just have this like, sort of like unspoken like, yeah, you know, like you're going to be good for every part that I make sort of thing. And, and there's just like up for it sort of thing. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like somebody who, like, makes a quiz, uh, like, could...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is missing out on an opportunity to like tell like an interesting story about like, like their reading habits or maybe how they're feeling or whatever. Like it'd be funny if like all like the questions started off really like upbeat and chipper and stuff and then sort of descended into this like spiral of madness. Like how many times have I cried today?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's like, I think New York has certain spots where like they're, they're, it's easy to, to, to like sort of get it to, for filming and, and is therefore use like all the goddamn time sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No yeaah, but I mean, when I was last in New York, we were walking down a street and there was just this big sign that said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, please just like keep walking. Don't look at anything like you're on like a live set or something like that. And so you're just like, oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just keep walking cause like they're just trying to get shots or they're, you know, they're filming some, I didn't see anybody filming or anything, but I'm assuming somewhere somebody was filming and they just needed like the background to look as.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, then they had to like helicopter 18 tons of paper and like, cause you notice how like in that movie there's garbage everywhere and stuff too. Right, right. Imagine you woke up one morning and you're like ready to go for your job. I love this city, it's so beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if there's people out there right now with like, with everything that's going on and like everywhere being very quiet nowadays, like with this lockdown, everything that are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For stock shots, yeaah. Just got a whole library, yeaah. Well, I'm sure that exists. I'm sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm terrible at quizzes and stuff because I feel under pressure to answer quickly, but like my brain needs some time to do some extra processing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like those ones where it's like, like, like the pub quiz format where you have like, uh, 10 questions in a row where it's like, guess this music and it's like video game music or some shit like that, you know, and like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you have to, and you have to write them all down. Yeah, like I like, I like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Themed questions in like chunks, you know what I mean? Not just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I read the, I, I was, I, Game of Thrones wasn't too bad because I'd read the books, so it's, I knew, I knew everybody, uhm, from the, from reading the books. But yeah, it would have been the same. If I had not read the books, I would have just been like, oh yeah, fucking that guy or this, like I, I'm terrible with names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It had such a massive viewership though, that you have to assume that about like 80-85% of the people watching it were okay with the way that it was. You know, hyped to shit for it and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I think the stuff that we read is, is not, not necessarily like the, like the, the, the, the overwhelming popular opinion, you know what I mean? Like, like I think, like occasionally you'll get a reviewer that says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This could have been better or whatever, but like, I'm sure my parents watched it and I think they liked the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hit TV show that everybody else is watching. It was like the water cooler at the office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, talk of the day and everything, right? So like, I don't think most people viewed it like in a bad way. I think it was, I think it was, it was the, the, the sort of like original core, um, fan base of the, of the books that wasn't like the, the, the massive, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, popular extension of the, what became the fan base through like the TV show that were, that were probably a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The context for a lot of this stuff is like, I really like this, I know all the characters and stuff, so I expect everybody else to feel the same way. Which is impossible. I'm sure that my mum watched


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything that becomes, like, popular, right? Like, I was watching, uh, I watched this documentary on, um, on the, on like the, the grunge explosion. The Seattle scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Such different TV. In the 90s. But interestingly, it was filmed at the time. So like it was, it's not like a retrospective. It was like, uh, people who were involved in the scene at the time who knew like all the bands and everything. And again, it's just really interesting that like something that was very sort of close knit


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a scene for that city and just like the way that the band's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Interacted with each other, like, in that city and everything. Just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of them just got crowbarred out of there and made into these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Massive, massive popular bands that sort of, you know, defined a generation or spoke for a generation or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But none of them had set out to even do that. Like they were just quite happy playing these crappy little bars and venues and seeing each other occasionally and competing against each other and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, everybody else just went crazy, you know, like there was like grunge fashion that you could buy at JCPenney, you know, you could buy like those old fucking plaid shirts and stuff and it was for the people in the scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they went to, they went to secondhand stores and they bought that stuff because that's all that was available. Like they lived in logging towns and stuff. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the, for like the, for the general population, this was like the uniform you had to wear if you wanted everybody to know that you loved grunge and stuff. And it's just interesting how people consume things, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's weird, yeah, it's like, I don't know, like it, it is funny, it's funny watching like old, old footage in it. When you watch it you think like, it doesn't seem like it was that long ago, but then, you know, it was, it was a long time ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people that you would tell about to now, especially like given what we do, we end up, we end up like, you know, somehow trying to like explain this stuff to people who weren't even born then. You know, like the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what you, this is, these are the things that you were into when you were a teenager sort of thing. It's just kind of funny, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, it's a mixture of nostalgia and like, you just sort of, you, sometimes you look at where you are now and then you think back to where you were and it's just, it's interesting to you, in most cases.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gonna be really funny one day to, if, you know, when, when, when our kids go on to probably have kids, I'm, I'm guessing, and, and your grandkids growing up, and one day they'll be like, what did you used to do, grandpa, what was your job?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that kind of like uhm, when the questions were like relating back to something you were interested in, was that kind of like a uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll be back. Don't forget, XCOM Chimera Squad is out tomorrow. Chimera. The latest, greatest addition to the XCOM family, which hopefully we'll see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, it was like, it was like a speech jammer. You just jammed me in the middle of the intro. Welcome back. What have you been doing? How have you guys been?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, it is nice to fi, to find a game that you're, you're excited for and we'll, we'll eat a load of hours for sure. Um, I've been playing Hades this week. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to, it's not, it's not too actually, it's quite forgiving in a sense that it's quite graphically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it is fast, but also in the sense that like, because it's so graphically beautiful, um, you don't necessarily always have to, it's not like a bullet hell, you know, you don't have to, you're not expected to dodge everything or react to everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, well, we know how we respond on this. Sometimes I don't even get a response to things I've said on this podcast, you know, so I, I have no first hand help.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not rude to them, right? Like ignoring people, maybe. I don't know, like, for us, as adults, if you don't listen to someone, it feels rude. It does! Yeah, so like, but I don't know if that's the same for kids. They don't care. I think it's because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's more like processing the implications reaction time rather than, you know, a ball coming at them reaction time though. That's like a different thing, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, what a game eh. That's great. What a game. I wonder how much of that is like, I don't know, just super, super hyper dad coach stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. You know, I think I turned out okay. I do look a little bit like a malformed lump of clay sometimes, but. We all do. We all do. So anyway, I saw them last week. They came, they came down for some reason. Right. I don't think they had seen for a while. During these troubling


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a couple of things they talked about, which I thought were interesting. One thing is my dad, we were talking about family and my dad's dad died. Um, he died in the 1960s. And, and so I sort of said to him, I said to my dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He lived in Sheffield. That kind of, that kind of odd, like, old fashioned death cause. And so I sort of, I wasn't really quizzing him about it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, Oh, so what did he, was he a smoker? You know, cause everyone in the sixties was a chimney, chimney smoker. And you know, he said, Oh no, never, never had, never smoked a cigarette in his life. And I was like, Oh, right. So did he drink a lot? I said, Oh no, he never drank. Oh, was he quite overweight? Oh, no, he was as thin and skinny as you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, was he too skinny? And so I don't know, was he like unfit? No, well, no, he cycled like 10 miles a day to run the grocery shop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stationed in Germany and stationed in other places. So he'd actually been kind of away from home for a long time. I think he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's one of the things that he wasn't allowed. And I think that's a blood pressure thing, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone in the comments of the Reddit thread or whatever, someone's a doctor and they'll tell me, oh, this means this. Oh, now you've done it. You've opened a real can of worms there. But it is kind of a mystery and I'm interested in, in like just wondering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might, I might look into a bit more and ask, ask if I can ask a few more questions because everyone in his family is fine. In fact, his dad's sister is still going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my dad's 83 and his, his auntie actually is, so his dad's sister was quite young, a bit younger than him, but she, she's still going, she's 97. Wow. So yeah, so there are like certain members of the family who've lost more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which is very scary. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, that's, that's a stroke, isn't it? Similar thing. Yeah, basically. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the last time I saw my gran, my nan is in a mental, well kind of a dementia home now. We've moved her sort of gradually. She originally wanted to be in a home, so we had put her in a home a couple of years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, because she actually was like, I don't want to have to cook. I don't have to look after this, all this stuff on my own kind of thing. She's, she was actually down for it. Um, but since she's been there, she's sort of gradually declined and become more of a not remembering who she is really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, or at least being sort of stuck in the past, it's very, very common sort of typical sort of dementia case anyway. I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, Oh, you know, what, what are you doing here? Has somebody died? Has somebody died? She's asking me. Um, and so obviously I said, Oh no, no one's died. And then a follow up question is, have I inherited anything? Have I inherited anything? She's actually quite excited, um, that someone might've died, although she might've inherited something. She feels like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's convinced herself that that's what's happened. So what are these things that I, or at least my mum,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Delusions, uh, or dreams, but certainly it can't hurt. And also I think, I, I, like after a little while, after this happened about three or four times, my mum sort of just responded and said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is the name of the little alcoholic sort of the French word for the little cafe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She, she wasn't born in France, um, but her mom was one of these French peasants. She was referred to as a French peasant. So my great grandma, uh, during world war one. And she was living in the sort of Northern French countryside where a lot of the war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was going through and when they all got liberated she was about sort of, I think 17 or 18.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the war, in the, in the, in the, in the war, he was a sort of supply man. So he had access to food and all these things. So he would give the family things when he sort of drove by to the front lines or, you know, back and forth. So anyway, after the war, France was in a pretty terrible state and their family was dirt poor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they were all very keen for, uhm, oh god, I know it, but I can't remember it now. Anyway, they're very keen for her to go back with him and he obviously went back with her to London and she was sort of this French


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's because I think those people, they still have the knowledge of who they are. They can't remember specific facts necessarily or, or even like specific history. I think that's the difficulty they don't because they, they know that you're someone they know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they don't really have a, a, certainly a memory of, cause we don't realise how much we change from, from, you know, in 10 years or 20 years, how different we look, but you know, 10 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, to a 90 year old person is a very short span of time, really. And, um, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's not like they are devoid of their personality too. Like often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's still that, that sort of wry, smiling, sort of laughing, joking, same person that you knew, but sometimes it's those, don't you say the little things that like indicate that there's some, sometimes like not, they're not who they were. They're not fully there, but a lot of them still is like they are still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's interesting what's missing. I think of it sometimes like a little bit like a dream where things are slightly wrong, but you're still able to react and you're behaving normally in those, in the situations you're presented with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some games feel like, um, they feel like a job, right? They feel like a grind where, and that's partly how it's meant to feel too, right? Like, um, there's a few which, which do feel like they are exhausting, but, but very satisfying when you, you do sort of complete tasks or get to, get to things like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You breathe out and you're like, look at all this shit that I've done. You know, it's, there's different types of games and they feel differently. And you're, what you're looking for is, you know, you want this to find the sweet spot where it feels like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something that, that is a journey, but also people want to come along and watch it. Like I think that it is, it is tricky to, to, I always struggle with it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's very, that's, but actually even in 1914, there's this example where someone went beyond that. Okay. And they started sending letters to other people like churches and self-help groups and other, and groups of people saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so basically the Germans fortified up Jersey as this fortress island, thinking that we would want it back and we would really bloody our nose trying to take it back. But when AI eventually came, we just ignored it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's always two sides to a coin, and I love that. I'm well known for being a contrarian who will sometimes take just an argument with someone just to see what happens. That's called being a troll. Just being an asshole. I can't help it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, in 1922 and 1923, there was this Englishman called George Maxwell who was indicted for sending scurrilous and obscene letters through the mail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a word. So over the course of a decade, the handsome 52 year old Maxwell, who had been styled a gay Lothario, which back then meant serial womanizer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] had mailed with tragic consequences nearly 150 poison pen letters sexually defaming nine


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently, in the case, one of these cases, the famed novelist Henry Davery Stackpool, who was the author of the critically derided novel, The Blue Lagoon, but best-selling, 1908, uh, gave rise to this amusing courtroom exchange.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Judge, you have Richard the Blue Lagoon, uh, witness, smiling, yes, uh, his, his defense lawyer. My lord, he is not charged with writing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The series of coronavirus TV ads, right? And they were all the same. They had like sad piano music. We care. It was like all these massive same shit. We're listening. We're there for you. And it was like for the family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think people with these companies working in their sandals, you know, who don't, who just want to keep their heads down. They like their cushy sandals job where they've got their standing desk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is that, it is that same shit every year. I fucking hate it. I hate people make it, it's like news as if the John Lewis advert is going to be broadcast that, you know, half way through EastEnders, at tea time tonight. It's like fucking people are clinging on with their fingernails to some sort of fucking, I know it's stupid. This is, but you've got to look at it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, it is something which I find myself watching a little bit of, and I suppose that we do rely on these streaming services now. It feels like everything is a subscription, right? It feels like everything is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I saw Goodfellas was doing the rounds on Reddit, and so I thought you might, cause you played Mafia, I thought that was a good clue. Obviously I was, got you, that was good. I'm one up, one real p-flags.


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[Assistant] He does. I've been watching Haunting of Bly Manor on Netflix.


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[Assistant] And I really, it's a TV show and I really enjoyed it because uhm, I mean the original Haunting of Hill House is a classic book that is very much recommended. It's what's called a terror.


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[Assistant] I love the difference between terror and horror, right? So horror is the sort of emotion and feeling you get after you've been shocked, okay? Whereas terror is the kind of


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[Assistant] Build up like, like you being scared of something that you haven't seen yet. Okay. So that's in, in a sense, like the original haunting of Hill house doesn't really have many.


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[Assistant] Not, not jumpscare moments, but more, more climactic moments, right? Uh, at least the original novel does. I think the, the TV show only really has one sort of jumpscare. It's a lot of.


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[Assistant] Very creepy stuff, a lot of very build up, a lot of things in the background that you sort of don't notice immediately, or certainly people in the show don't notice, but.


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[Assistant] Just check the corners or whatever. It was really proper, proper spooked me up a little bit.


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[Assistant] I find it scary because when you start going into a world of supernatural, where you've seen something supernatural happen, that means anything is possible. And it's very, very scary to have that sudden unknown. You know, I feel like we live in a very rational world, but as soon as something weird happens, supernatural, it's like,


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[Assistant] I think sometimes it could be very frustrating to watch and listen to and read those things. Like, for example, American Gods, I never really enjoyed the book and I never particularly enjoyed the TV show. I didn't mind it. I thought it was an exciting fairy story.


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[Assistant] And it was fun, but I didn't like it and I didn't like it because the rules were so...


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[Assistant] I think people are going to look back on it. If it carries on down this Jan Woods trajectory, people are going to be like, oh yeah, that's right. Actually, now I think about it. It's like Game of Thrones. You know, oh, now I think about season five wasn't very good either, was it?


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[Assistant] How come Queen Maeve can just teleport behind literally any character at any point on the show? That's not one of her established superpowers.


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[Assistant] She's constantly, everyone is though, everyone's constantly conveniently there to the point that it removes all tension. You know, any character can deus ex machina out of the wall at any time to save any other character. I don't know. I just didn't find it gripping at all. I found it a bit like a bit of a missed opportunity and I think the writers


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[Assistant] About you having somebody visit you and they stay at your house, like sleep at your house and like shower and.


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[Assistant] Every, like they live at your house for like a week or whatever. They come over. Who is it?


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[Assistant] Let's just say, okay, let's say your parents, your parents are in town, they're visiting.


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[Assistant] What, what, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your knee-jerk reaction? Is it, yeah, you guys can stay with me, or is it, hey, you guys better find a hotel, like, uh, you know, I don't-


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[Assistant] You wouldn't, you wouldn't, you wouldn't try to like, uh, say to them like, uh, maybe it's not a good idea to come over, you know, like maybe we'll come to you instead.


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[Assistant] What about, okay, what about, what about a friend who- But the stable is free. How about, how about a friend who is married and has two kids and they're in town and they're like, oh, where are we going to stay? And then you're like, come stay at my house.


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[Assistant] I need to say though, in North America, this is a very common thing. Uh, as far as I know, like staying with people or having people stay, stay with you, like people come to visit from out of town or whatever and you've got space, you, you, you put them up or likewise. Like when I was a kid, we stayed at people's houses.


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[Assistant] I would actually go as far to say as I will pay for you to stay in a hotel so that you don't have to stay at my house. I would go that far.


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[Assistant] No, I've never had to pay for somebody to say. I'm willing to. I don't think I've ever actually had to pay. I'm willing to do it if somebody's like really strapped and they can't do it and it means that I don't have to like host them or whatever. I would do it.


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[Assistant] Okay, so, but ideally would you have somebody stay with you? Like, I would say ideally, no.


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[Assistant] If your mom and dad were together though, would you want them both staying at your house? Like, I would say I would have just my mom, no problem. Cause she would like help with the kids, whatever. But I don't want my mom AND dad staying. Like, the two of them together are hard work.


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[Assistant] It's not as bad as that. People are saying that I'm crazy. I'm not actually crazy. Not in that way. Yeah, we're all a little crazy. In bed I am, obviously, but uhm, when it comes to people pooping in my toilet and stuff, obviously, if somebody's gotta go, it can't be helped. Like, I'm not gonna fucking kick them out of bed.


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[Assistant] No, I have no desire at this moment to commit to anything.


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[Assistant] You know what, Louis? Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. If it's that difficult and people don't want to do it, just sack it off. Who fucking cares? It's their tough shit, isn't it? Like how much money have you made for charity over the years with all this? How much like exposure have you given to people and stuff?


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[Assistant] Fuck em. If they don't want it, fuck em. It's their problem. They could go find the latest fucking 10 year old screaming blue haired streamer to buddy up with and just see how that goes. That's fine.


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[Assistant] We're like, we're established. I don't know why this is such a difficult thing. Like, we've been doing it for like 10 years.


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[Assistant] I gotta say, when this analogy started, I was there. I was at the lakeside, I was getting my canoe off the truck, I was getting ready for the portage. Now I'm in fucking Timbuktu. Like, I don't know what went wrong with this portage. It's like, it's ruined.