[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, anything else? I mean, like, they totally could be. I personally like the idea that it was given as an honorary title, almost like a gesture of peace and goodwill, like, you know, instead of like, oh, we're all houses and you're just the Dwemer who we're aligned with. It's like, oh, you're one of us house Dwemer, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so this one is, I think something will just be like, yeah, true. Um, cause we've talked about it in a video before, uh, the problem with the companions, but you win a free iPod. Nice name. Um, the companions are shitty people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game stages your first werewolf transformation as Lumao Consequence 3 timed sequence to test your new power, but you're basically killing half of a dozen guards.


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[Assistant] Aayla's, uh, Aayla's reaction is ha ha la mal. It happens. Amusement at your first change and nobody in the companions gives a shit if innocent people died or not in the pursuit of adding to their inner circle with absolutely no precautions or control at all if a new person, say, kills a fellow people. Kills fellow people in Whiterun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If anything, the silver hand is completely justified in attacking them because this shows really organically through the gameplay itself that they're a real insidious danger to Whiterun. The Jarl isn't going to get off his arse to charge them, so I sympathize with the silver hand, honestly. And I totally agree. When, when I was doing the video of the problem with the companions, it is really like that and


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[Assistant] Ayla, um, I don't have the quote on me, but I know they didn't say it in the comment, but she actually says something which implies even more that like, yeah, you did, you did get all violent and crazy, not like you ran away. Like, ho ho, like. You gave us more trouble than you did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do, I do like the lore mods that people have for werewolves where you actually do have that like random chance to turn. Cause it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does kind of force you, like if you're around, you know, innocent people and you turn, they're going to attack you anyway. And so you kind of get that like, well, I'm going to go crazy and kill them or like mods that want you to feed more and make it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, basically give you incentive to have that kind of like, I'm a crazy, you know, blood crazed werewolf versus just like, Oh, I have this power I can use sometimes. And like, it just gives me only benefits essentially.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he's just like a companion simp. He's just like really loyal and like does whatever they want and he's happy to just be working his forge and... Although he could give me her scene vibes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, cause he has like the long, the long kind of hair in it. I dunno, like the old tribal guy. You know in Northmen, the like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, the dude that, that gets down and like does all these like, the ritual thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen memes of it everywhere. There's like a, an old dude in a cave and he's like going all crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if she's a comedic character. No, but I guess if it's memes, like this thing outside of it, like. But you can meme anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if they intended, that's the funny thing, they probably didn't intend for him to be nearly as popular as he was. They were probably just like, aw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We need a kind of like snobby character to like kind of, um, give more of this like different districts vibe than we really have. Cause in reality, you know, it's just the scale of, of Skyrim, the cities, towns, everything. They're not that big and crazy, you know, or there's these, you know, these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three zones and there's like status and hierarchy. It's like you're just walking upstairs. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You even delete all their v- like all videos on YouTube about Starfield after getting into YouTube HQ. You remove it- remove it from the mythos. You unmake the- it's like Talos. You basically like remove Ta- uh, Starfield.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, look, look, to be honest, as much as we can hate on the fact that, you know, the trailer came out and it's going to be a long time before we get the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I still think it's a massive net positive that we saw the trailer because it's easy to forget that before the trailer,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It actually did feel like a Half-Life 3 at times, like, oh, what if they just don't make it? What if Elder Scrolls Online is just too profitable and they work on other things? And it would feel like that, right? Cause if they didn't tell us, they'd do 76, they'd be doing Starfield now, you'd be like, oh, maybe actually Elder Scrolls is done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact that we know that hey we are making this game is actually just a cool thing to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, maybe, maybe it's gonna get like cyberpunked and like they change the, the, like the whole thing of the game and like basically like Shirley Curry becomes the Keanu Reeves and she's like a side character that's really, really important. What a game that would be. Anyway, does anyone have any conspiracy theories?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because- I think? Kinda. I would encourage people to leave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More conspiracies in the comments of this one, because I'm scrolling and some of these we've done before. So watch the conspiracy theories podcast episodes, please.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think it could just be catchy? Like a lot of people regardless of their religious views say, Oh my God, it's just so ingrained in the culture. Yeah, but they're not like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think we'll finish with one conspiracy theory here, unless you two have any more. It's by Lucas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it kinda makes sense, uhm, and it kinda helps rationalize perhaps some crappy writing, as one comment says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, Serana is a very powerful seductive vampire. While that might sound obvious to some, hear me out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't make sense that a literal vampire hunter who just finished slaughtering an entire cave of vampires, Dimhollow Crypt, suddenly has a change of heart as soon as an ancient vampire with an elder scroll, might I add, wakes up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd think that a vampire hunter would be freaked out and immediately attack, but nope, the simping begins as soon as Serana opens her eyes. The Dovahkiin even offers to escort Princess Serana home like a knight in shining armor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My theory is that she has a literal enthralling presence, and that's why even Izran of all people didn't bash her head in when she comes to Fort Dawngarde looking for the Dovahkiin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only if you join the Dawnguard, of course. Let's not forget that she still had to get past the guards of Fort Dawnguard and seemingly didn't spill any blood in the process. In other words, she just walked right up to Izran and no one lifted a finger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And finally, she's even enthralled the Elder Scrolls fanbase. I mean, just look at all the die-hard Serana fans out there, myself included, XD.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In real life, you don't respawn when you die, man. Like, you got one opportunity to act. She's waking up. It's like a Draugr Deathlord. When you see the leg come over the, you know, over the tomb and they're like getting up, you're not like, oh, maybe he wants to shake my hand and give me a side quest. You're like, oh, how much damage can I put out before he gets out of it? You gotta remember.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You escorted her to Harkon, but then I'm pretty sure she meets you in Fort Dawn God. I believe. Or is she just a permanent companion? She does become like a Klingon companion if you know what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I still like the idea, I think it's an interesting idea that she has an extremely magical and enthralling presence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I guess that brings us to the end of the conspiracies episode. Do leave new conspiracies in the comments, uh, cause if we feel like doing another episode, we'll want to get some real juicy ones to go through. Thanks for watching, social links are in the description as always, and we look forward to nerding out with you again next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair though, there's no reason why they couldn't pick up worship of him later. Like, I mean, you look at other races of the Elder Scrolls universe, it's not like they needed to keep that same religion since their origin point. I mean, look at what Saint Alicia did creating the divine pantheon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And how obviously the needs, becoming Imperials and other races over time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would have taken on different religious, you know, viewpoints.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wouldn't surprise me that, you know, the goblins started worshipping Malacath when Malacath was more


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, they do have all the kind of, uhm, kind of goblin-centric, uh, cultural ideas with the shaman and the hierarchy, and I know that, uhm, it is quite similar to orcs, like orcs do have their chieftains and the wise women and things like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, some of the goblin stuff seems specific to them and like it has nothing to do with Malacath. I mean, you know, the giant like head on the staff and things of that nature and different totems that they have. They could have had that culture and then on top of that, adopted worship of Malacath or Maluk or the blue god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, even in the Elder Scrolls Online, uhm, there's actually a lot of cool goblin or, uh, goblin lore added by the Elder Scrolls Online, but unfortunately it's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really like the look of them, but if you do look at the goblins in the Elder Scrolls Online and imagine that that's what Topol saw, you can kind of understand even more so why he could have thought that they were orcs, compared to like, Oblivion's goblins, which are very like, hunched over with huge prominent ears and, you know, very different looking faces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It also, like, something we should also take into account is that in, like, the very earliest Elder Scrolls games, orcs weren't a playable race and they were, they were kind of like a monster. Yeah. You know, it was, it was later on in Morrowind, wasn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first time they became playable. So before that, they were kind of just these monster enemies who were green and ugly and go fight them in the mountains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How big was it? Because some of them- They're solid sized. They- they do come in different sizes. Uh, the- the goblins. Like, you know, the ones in Hammerfell were said to be giant. Uh, again, in Elder Scrolls Online, you see the ghost of one of these giant goblins. Mega disappointing. Could have- could have looked so much cooler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, uh, a similar type of thing was done in Skyrim with Karstag, like it would have been much cooler if Karstag looked more unique, like, you know, he did in Morrowind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that would have been particularly cool. I guess going back to goblins, uh, in their earliest days,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the most interesting things about them obviously as a race is this whole idea of whether or not they really are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, smart. Are they s- how intelligent are they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, you know, the, the elves enslaved all kinds of races, you know, like the needs in Cyrodiil, but we don't go, oh, it's because they're a, you know, low intelligence race that was just so easy to subjugate. And if you look at what the goblins have done,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, obviously they haven't done nearly as much as the needs, but they did do a lot of impressive things, particularly around taming animals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and different creatures in all kinds of regions. I think one of the- two of the ones they tamed in the Somerset Isles, supposedly,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, wellers and griffins. Which is quite conflicting because griffins in their lore also have this thing about like the untamable, you know, super proud beasts that the high elves could never like, you know, domesticate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But apparently according to one of the notes you find about trade deals, which there's another thing, goblins supposedly had trade deals early on in the Somerset Isles with the elves, uhm, yeaah, the griffins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did find the griffons thing by the way, uh, apparently in early ultima history they did try to tame them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but they couldn't because they were just, you know, too vicious. Uh, and then they, they caught, they, sorry, harvested their eggs, but then the eggs wouldn't really hatch because, you know, the idea is if you get the egg and then it hatches, you could tame it from birth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then, when you go into this, uh, thing found in, uh, the Somerset expansion, King Haven- King's Haven Trade Record,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bounties of the sea have proven most appealing to these landlocked peoples, but textiles and tools are also in steady demand. So it's funny that these very early days of goblins are talking about them actually desiring tools and textiles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in exchange, we receive the fruits of their hunting and trapping. These tribes are adept at capturing and even taming the wellers and griffins that populate the area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even so, we benefit most from bartering for the unrefined ore being extracted from the caverns that wind throughout these hills. The locals don't hold it in high value and seem to prefer to trade the raw ore for our refined goods. And by the way, for those who don't know, uh, the well-wors are basically these four-eyed beasts, kind of like, uh, the shape of a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, I just find that interesting, cause it just makes me think, you know, in the most ancient days, you hear these stories, they actually sound more, you know, quote, intelligent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, than they do these days, but if you took any, you know, race, be it Minotaurs or Giants or some type of, uhm, Goblin,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who was intelligent and you basically like made them all into slaves, stop them, stop their society from doing anything basically. And then they all end up being forced to live in like ruins and sewers and places like this to hide, you know, from the surface. Like they basically become subterranean as a society.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the freaks of society, which isn't really a fair term, but you know what I'm talking about, the outliers, you're extremely, extremely smart people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who, just for the record, I don't think of freaks, but you know what I'm saying here. The, the extreme outliers who are born with 250 IQ, like these kinds of people, they also provide a super unfair advantage for any society.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you get some Elon Musk type just born here. He, he by himself, let's just say, invents something extremely useful. The whole province or tribe or whatever benefits greatly from that one person's, you know, really smart invention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they basically get to go around going, oh, we're so smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They even did tame, uh, spiders and kwamas, like they have tamed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of different things. Uhm, there was even, I think, the Coldsnap tribe, they kind of started, uh, using scrap metal from dwarven ruins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, which again, I don't know how the lore goes with this. There's some weird lore about dwarven metal and like what should and should not be able to be done with it. But basically they got scrap metal from dwarven ruins and started making daggers by, you know, fusing the scraps in, in fires and smashing it together to make blades and different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It says they also embed, uhm, anem-monculus scrap, you know, from the, you know, machinery, the robots essentially of the Dwemer, that scrap into kind of like, metals that they would use to put on their shields and stuff to make them a lot sturdier and stronger. Which is quite different, uh, to what you see in, you know, games like Oblivion where,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're very much, you know, just scavengers, like that's the vibe. There's this whole idea in the lore of like, do goblins create their weaponry or is it just scavenged and really, really old and worn down to the point that it's unrecognizable and we can't tell, did you loot that or make that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is both, you know, like you can find them with a steel shield that clearly is just a steel shield designed by someone in Cyrodiil, probably from a dead adventurer, but then other tribes have been shown to build


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is- There is a Dark Elf noble.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so this is how stress in the Elder Scrolls Online, and, and at this point in the timeline, keep in mind, like, goblins are still being sold as slaves, and basically used in, in different groups and things like that, all over Tamriel still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but basically there's, uh, Aldrin Dress, who talks about, uh, how goblins take a lot of educating before they come around. It's worth it though, they're a highly valued commodity. I once sold a whole tribe, uhm, to a- is it Vizier or Vizier? In High Rock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, made a prince's ransom in coin. So they sound very valuable, but basically like, you know, they, when it says education, I wonder though, if that's training as like, um, social norms and things, not actually like indoctrination. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, that's crazy, like, the man himself, the book of circles author, was killed by goblins. Rest in peace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually funny, there was, uh, goblins that did want to be recognized. There were. As sentient beings. And, uh, they worked with the Veiled Heritance to try and achieve that. But, uhm, it didn't go so well. Basically. It failed. But they wanted to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a really good point. And then, and then Maluku, yeaah. Yeaah. Maybe Maluku Urgola is like the poop master.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hold on, is it Reeklings or Reiklings? Cause if you're gonna say Reikir, I always said Reiklings, I don't mind either way. I, I always said Reek. Okay, they probably do Reek, don't they? Reeklings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the, the Rikers have all, yeaah, there's bits and pieces, like they've got all these unique, uh, symbols that they draw on the walls and stuff like that. They like to hoard things quite a lot, although, you know, any goblin tribe probably could do that, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As well, and they, and they speak, I mean, on Solstheim, they speak Tamrielic, uh, the chief does, basically telling you to fight him and, uh, take his place, uh, because you're the stronger one in Thursk Meadhall. You remember that? Yeah. And you become the chieftain of Thursk Meadhall. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so there are little, there are little bits and pieces. Uhm, they're very good at spear throwing. Definitely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. That's a, that's a problem. Yeaah. And they like their dizzy drink though. You gotta give them that. Which is basically alcohol.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing I would say about, uh, Ryklings, which is a little bit different, is they don't seem as arcane. Like when you look at goblins, uhm, and stuff, they kinda have more of the shaman elements, and there's all these different, uh, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Magics and magical, kind of, hierarchical positions. Whereas the Reichlings don't seem to really have that as much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is, they are quite interesting. I know their holy items basically may actually be magical in nature. Cause you know, there's the whole myth makes reality concept in the Elder Scrolls, which seems pretty true. Like the shaman's headdress said to give it power and intelligence and uhm, you know, basically make them


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of becomes true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that. They made a staff somehow. They didn't steal that from a mage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just interesting that it's the shaman specifically who's involved with that. You don't run across other goblins and they're all just shooting fireballs and shock spells at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And similar to- I feel like that's the same-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But not, but depends, like the Ultima for example, I imagine it is widespread in their armies. Yeah for sure, but like most-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess so, but it depends how hard it is, because, like, imagine, uh, someone from ancient times looking at our society. They would probably think that the three of us are nuts for not really digging in to understand the, you know, magic that is technology, and like, why don't you guys


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess every tribe has a shaman, that's like generally, like that's the impression I get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, especially in more ancient times too, when Nords did have like the, the, uh, the wise men, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For sure, and going back to goblins, I'll also say that they do have, uh, similarly to the orcs, they fight amongst each other a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, where other groups have banded together and formed like a big unified kind of culture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The goblins are split among many, many different tribes and they'll fight each other, you know, they'll steal items of cultural significance from one another, war over different things. So just, just like humanity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this idea like, you know, why the orcs always lose is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After they kind of like all spread out all over the place versus other groups of say elves who, you know, will go to Cyrodiil where the alyds will go to Morrowind, you know, where the, the Chimer and later the Dunmer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The orcs kind of went to strongholds all over the place. By the time they all meet up and try and make Orsinium, there's been all this time for different cultural views to kind of let come about, like Malacath versus still worshipping Trinimac, and they butt heads a lot and they have a lot of conflict, and even in their society, the way that they've, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, they've been exposed to all these outside cultural ideas now, the orcs I'm talking about, and yet they still have their traditional strongholds where it's kind of might makes right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, pulling your weight and being strong is extremely respected. The goblins do have a similar mentality in many instances and a similar theme in terms of not getting along with other tribes in the same way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It definitely could be. I'm not saying it's like an innate quality that they're like not cooperative, but it just seems to be a theme of their, you know, of their race throughout the eras. Cause it's funny that too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a bit random, but there's an item that can actually make you take on the appearance of a goblin from the Elder Scrolls Online. Uh, it's, uh, there's, uh, shadow silk gems. Grant the user the appearance of a goblin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The emerald chalice when drunk from turns the drinker into a goblin. The only way to reverse that is by using human blood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, uh, outcasts and I, I know what you mean, especially ogres, like there's no reason why ogres couldn't be grouped as a completely different creature like giants. You know, like, like just a different thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they obviously do get enslaved by other races. Uhm, they do worship Malacath, as you said. They do live in small primitive communities, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't seem to be like super, super similar to goblins necessarily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perhaps, uh, one of the cooler looking orcs is actually a Rothgarian ogre in the Elder Scrolls Online, which I quite like. It's, uh, well you meet, you meet one who's mad, basically, and actually summons this kind of, uh, frozen looking ogre.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Madness, uh, in a battle against you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's a magic using ogre, and I like the kind of almost like gauntlet claws that it has attached to it on its, on its hands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same. I think the ones in Oblivion look a bit, uh, cartoony and like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a big funny fat dude, like. It's kind of a lot of oblivion stuff. Yeah. Even the rocks, but I do like them all. Don't get me wrong. I don't dislike any of them, but yeah, I like the Elder Scrolls online. They love jumbo potatoes. They do like stealing things as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they, they, even though they're big and strong, they're not as, at least in my opinion, they don't seem as violent as goblins can be. Like goblins are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Obviously if you go up to them they'll pummel you into the ground and kill you and become hostile, but generally speaking I don't think their base sentiment is hostility.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just view them as a Daedra honestly, who looks probably inspired from ogres potentially, if we're saying that creatures tend to be part of the realm that they're from. I wouldn't be surprised if Malakath did design them with ogres in mind. So you think Malakath


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just think that Malekath, uh, we've talked about before how he kind of can't exist if his fear is dismantled by the outcasts that he kind of is the father to, becoming accepted. So if I were Malekath and I were making a Daedra, I probably would make it big, fat, and ugly so that- Right, in a way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do think when you look at the, obviously they take on in Elder Scrolls Online many different forms. So if you look like, if you see one that serves Molek Baal,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like it serves Merling Bell, like it looks like it's from Coldharbour, and the ones that serve Mephala look more similar to a Spider Daedra with that red look. My favourite ogrim is actually the natural one that you see in Morrowind or in the Legends card art, where it's just- With the nipple piercings. Well, not in the card art.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, the green one that just looks like it doesn't have, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Easy to pick claim like, oh, you've got the cold harbor skins, you know, color scheme on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. The pierced nipple makes the difference. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, gremlins are a very niche one to mention. Basically, uh, little creatures that, uh, Cyrus the Redguard was transformed into at one point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think we'll really ever see gremlins again. It feels like one of these kind of like old school things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. I-I-I do know that they're kind of, uhm, just lumped in with the goblin Ken that have lived in Orsinium and, uhm, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think a really good way is looking at all the things that have been around Orsinium a lot of the time for most of it, uhm, because orcs are lumped in there. I mean, like, you know, you can't take it seriously just by that basic, you know, kind of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fact. Orcs are lumped in and orcs are not. Orcs are clearly derived from elves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Elder Scrolls 6, if Malekath called like trolls, his like little long lost brothers or something, everyone would just be like, all right, it fits enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you find her, yeah, you bring it to the wise woman, don't you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One, one thing I will say though is why would he want you to slay one of, he would not, maybe that's why he picks troll fat, because if he picked ogre teeth, he wouldn't want you to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is interesting that some can learn Tamrielic as well. Of all Goblin Ken, although I'm not really sure about Ogres there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ogres, would you say Ogres could be the least intelligent of the group?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Across the board, yea, obviously they can possess really high intelligence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, surely they must have been able to speak if they were organising trade deals and agreeing on different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right, well, thank you everyone for tuning in. If you want to help support the channel, we do have a Patreon link down in the description, or if you just want to come say hi on social media, our Twitter links are there as well. It's been the Fudge Muppet, Elder Scrolls podcast, and we look forward to nerding out with you again next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. This week it's an archive show because, uh, Sips is busy doing babysitting or something like that and P-Flex is taking his car to the mechanic or something like that. I am here on my own, so this is actually an archive podcast. I know you guys love these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's me and Sips chatting on Team Double Dragon for the next hour. I hope you enjoy it and have a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're back. So I read an internet article that said the average keyboard has like 10 times as much like fecal matter than the average toilet seat. Because no one ever cleans their keyboard. And they don't wash their hands, I guess. Do you ever get that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was yesterday, for sure. Yeah. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just so everyone knows, I am not, uhm, as gross. We are not as gross as we make out. In fact, we're pretty, I don't want to say we are any kind of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] OCD, because we're not, right? No way. Uhm, that's an actual thing. A lot of people, a lot of people are like, oh, I'm all OCD about this, when they're clearly not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And reading a reddit article that says keyboards have shit on them more than your toilet seat, making you want to clean your keyboard once, that doesn't make you OCD, okay? That's fairly normal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, so I, I do try and clean stuff that I think is a bit gross. And one of these people who...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God damn, do you know what? I've been using that handkerchief you gave me every day. It was so useful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not telling you, I don't want that shit. I'm never gonna use that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is multipurpose. It is, it is like the wipes before there were wipes. You know, my dad always had a handkerchief. He was always there for emergencies. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was always some emergency, you could put it tight over your head, like a hat, you know, you could, uhm, you know, use it for all sorts of things that I can't think of now, but he found ways. It was a dad sit handkerchief thing, we're not gonna talk about it anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we try and- we try and bring you these cultured discussions here on Team Double-Dri- Dibble-Dringles. Whatever we are. But- Team Donny Darko.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, we tried to bring you some cultured discussion about books, uhm, and good books, bad books, reading books, I advise you to check out some books, they're good, they're good for you, made a paper, get some paper ones, they're fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of it. Is it like sand? It just gets everywhere? Or is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, you've taken the time to delicately compose this. I'll listen to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is it like blowing up like a balloon, like swell, swelling up and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What did, what did, what did you, what did people do before, like, wet wipes and napkins?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can talk about books, right? No, do you know what we can talk about? You know you talked a little bit about a funeral there. I, I don't know, I'm not a dad, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm still a bit sort of, sort of surprised by the whole bath of shit thing really, but we'll go away from that. It's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I would just have kind of, uhm, like a spray, a water spray, and I'd just like, you know, like one of those things that you spray flowers with, like a squirrely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just spray that all over. I just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they're kind of fairly, well they're sort of supposed to be fairly durable, like babies do get dropped, I'm sure I was dropped a few times as a baby, and I don't know whether you've dropped your children from any...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm glad, I'm glad we're getting this stuff out here. The other thing I read, which I'm not sure is true, okay, would be, say for example, uh, you bring your kids, now I don't know how old this affects, this works on, but I think maybe when they're younger, it'll work okay, is if you go to, for example, a funeral.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everyone is all like mega sad and like bursting into tears and like really upset.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, so you're at a feudal, right? And imagine it was Barry Manley's funeral and so instead everyone was having a great time and a good fun time. That would be what the kid would feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they're a big racket, though, as well. They're one of these horrible things. They're on this list of things that are kind of quite... I wanna say scammy, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. So, I guess what I was sort of trying to say was that babies and children will sort of follow the mood of their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, well. I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about. Fuck it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, funerals are a racket, but also weddings are a big racket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are incredible pricing where you're expected to do all these bizarre things to do from the place to the amount of people you invite, from the dress to the DJ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't say, uh, even if I had. How do you feel about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weddings and marriage in a modern society


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wedding and marriage are different things. I think that a wedding, expensive wedding and by extension marriage is a little bit like a New Year's resolution to go to the gym or paying for a gym membership. So in order to be faithful or to be, a lot of people might treat it as a thing where they say, okay,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna make this cost, I'm gonna make this payment, I'm gonna take this, this, this, I've sunk enough costs, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna go and we're gonna book a honeymoon, we're gonna pay for all this stuff and then that's it, I'm, that's, that's gonna cost me so much that I'm never gonna be unfaithful again, I'm, I'm kind of gonna, do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's, there's still a certain stigma attached to stuff, and you know, you'll, you'll...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the two of you will go somewhere with a kid and everyone will assume you're married. And if you're not...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then people will start thinking, uh, that's a bit weird. You know, it's still kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not a religious thing. You know, you didn't marry for any kind of religious reasons. Why did you get married?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't realize that it was a visa thing after all. You know, I knew you were a big fan of the UK. I love visas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it's difficult, cause I think...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Marriage is classically this, this kind of religious thing and much like a lot of things in...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In our society, like Christmas, you know, I think a lot of the time the religious stuff has kind of been stripped out, but we like what they represent. Um, and we like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're happy, most people are happy to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do people get these days instead of Nintendo games? I guess they just get PlayStation games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the longest bone in the body, and the strongest bone in the body. And the girthiest as well. I don't think it's the biggest technically, but it's the strongest and the longest and the girthiest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's really good. It is tough to break your femur because my brother broke his and it was very, very bad. He broke it when he had a car crash. So you have to, you have to be pretty, yea, you have to be pretty...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty tough to break it. It's pretty bad when you break it as well, because it's, eh, it's, eh, it's a pretty big old boat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is another femur in your other leg though. Is there? Yea, you got two legs, Sips.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which, where does the Den Bones start with? What does Den Bones start the song with? Which bone? I think it starts like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, but when you don't know anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are suddenly, I think when you're very young, when I was very young, I was scared by strange stuff that maybe you'd think, well, why would kids be scared by that? But I think it's a little bit like that uncanny valley. You know, you know what the uncanny valley is? No, I don't know what that is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, okay, well there's a lot to take in there, but basically, uhm, uncanny valley is this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's basically a thing that theorizes, it's the reason why uhm, we're scared of things that, like zombies. It will basically- Oh, it's not a TV show. Basically we are encoded to have a revulsion when it comes to dead bodies, okay? Genetically. We are supposed to be-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that means probably that there's something wrong with you, yeaah. But basically, there's kind of this, this graph, okay, uhm, of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what you're trying to tell me? No, they're things, like your response to them, your- Oh, right, okay. Your attract- your familiarity and attraction to them. So for example- Right. You can tell-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even though, like, a corpse is very, very close to a live human, you're, you can tell that you, like, our genetics make us have this automatic response towards them. Uhm, it's kind of this weird thing, but basically, it's the reason why sort of these, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or it sounds like a crappy American TV show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The audience overlapped with the audience for 50 Shades of Grey, right? No, shut up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She is like this open, empty shell character, the main character from Twilight. And we're not supposed to put themselves, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's kind of, I think, to some extent. The appeal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess so. Everyone wants her, you know? And, uh, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's got, she's an empty shell, right? But it's kind of like, I think of it as like one of these Japanese dating video games, right? Where you're just a sort of empty character and you could date the mysterious and aloof, sparkly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Popularity and radiant good looks. It's really difficult, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like this? Yeah, well, when the film came out in 2008 or whatever, I remember. Yeah, 2008, that sounds about right. That's old already. I remember loads of dads kind of accidentally being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, there's, there's, I mean, the thing is, like, you are with them a good proportion of the day, but you can't control, really, the other people they meet, especially at school, families, other friends, other people that affect their life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all who, you know, I'm sure that you and me have the same in that our lives were not influenced very much by our parents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it just happens that there's all sorts of influences on you, and some of them stick, some of them don't, Al.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our brains are very elastic and our desires and things change and our influence is based on the people we meet. And we meet a lot of people. True. And also the books you read, the things you see, blah blah blah. The opposite, of course, is when you get something like, there's a documentary called The Wolf Pack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there was this thing which I thought was really interesting, uh, do you remember the Bone Wars? Did you ever hear about the Bone Wars? Bone Wars? The thing I heard about on the old QIL's podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently, like, it's just as bad as we are, like, completely wrong, uhm, turns out every episode is just a lot of the stuff they say is bollocks. Every episode is just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drink a cope, yea, drink a cope, not coke. Oh, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I snuck in some advertising for some sort of stupid dad joke or something. So Eddie, we'll call him Eddie. Eddie Drinker Coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, Charlie Marsh, of course his first name is Othniel, I can't believe that his first name is that. Anyway, they were both searching for fossils, okay, in Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming, in all these rich bone beds, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bone beds, that sounds like a good thing. Uh, and each of them used underhanded methods to try to out-compete each other in the field. Okay, so they were bribing, thieving, destroying each other's bones, doing cocaine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sounds crazy. Why would you do that? They were basically, they hated each other. They were these bitter rivals. Okay. Right. And they raced to publish new dinosaurs. Okay. But they were all kind of Frankenstein's monsters, you know, because they didn't really know what they were doing and a lot of them were fake. So what they would do is they would


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just get any old bones out of the ground that were jumbled together and shove them all back together to try and build like, you know, it would be like, make it be like Lego.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think 99% of our genetic structure is shared or more like 99.7. So, you know, the fact is that we are very, very, very similar to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the great apes and it's reflected in the skeleton. If you look at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This very demure, but surely that'll have an E on the end, nevermind. We're not gonna get into grammatical discussions about this stuff too, we've got enough to talk about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to, I don't think it's one of their main things, but, but certainly if it's interesting, then I think they probably have. I'm sure Stephen Fry loves it. So anything grammatical they can get in there, probably he just has a hard on instantly for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I do like Stephen Friday. So actually he's left you right now. It's now Sandy Toksvig gonna be presenting it from now on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the, they published 142 new dinosaurs or something combined, but like almost all of them, only 30, 32 of them are actually valid because the rest of them were just, just, just made up. You know, they, they'd put like three dinosaurs worth of bones together and make this horrific monster, chuck away all the extra skulls they got left over, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A velociraptor. That is definitely real, yes. You can have that one. Okay, a tyrannosaurus rex. That is a real dinosaur, yes. An ankylosaurus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ankylosaurus. I mean, that's the one with the, the, um. With the big ball at the end of his tail. Yeah. I think that one is real. Yeah. Okay. That one is real. What about Astegosaurus? Sure, that's definitely real. That's got those big plates. Okay, you're getting the good ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that one is not real. That is one of the bullshit ones. Now that is one which was found by Charles Marsh and was initially


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bollocks. Uhm, because it didn't, because it was like, it was too big, it didn't make sense, he'd done it wrong. But I think that very recently,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They came back and did a version of it which was probably alright. Uhm. Okay. Well they just did like a revision of the Brontosaurus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it got kind of version 2 of it, or whatever, it got revised, but apparently it wasn't, cause it, when I was read about this first, like a few years back, it was all this big controversy, but now I think they've settled on it actually being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not as bad, uh, as- What about a terrorist?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a real one again. I think the pterodactyl is a good example of one of the dinosaurs which survived the apocalypse. Or didn't they? But basically, modern birds. It flew into space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ocean is very, very big, and yes, very unexplored, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He went and looked around it, uhm, because he liked it. Did he? I don't know if he even did that. You know, he's, you know, he made a movie. No, he fucking didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] James Cameron. James Cameron went famously as was like a submarine explorer. Shut up. He was. He wishes. He fucking wishes. He fucking was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had some dumbass fucking project that he had and he was in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there were unmanned dives blah blah blah. He made a 3D film during his trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he collected new- Oh yea. New- he- he discovered a new species of sea cucumber, squid worm, giant single-celled amoeba, which are exciting to find due to the harshness of the environment. So there you go. So basically- He fucking would. It's- it's so deep down there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That only two, there's only two ways to survive. Obviously, first thing is very, very high pressure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, if you were under this, that deep in the ocean, okay, there's only two ways to survive. One is to have energy sources dropping down from above. So like things die or like a fish is eating some food but it drops it and it sinks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some scavengers can survive in the dark by eating the detritus that has dropped down into the dark, okay? The other way to survive in the dark at the bottom of there is with some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For a start, I think he's a vegan, right? And second, he obviously did it after Titanic, so he wouldn't have been able to do this ridiculous thing without, like, the money that he made from this stuff. From Titanic, yea. So yea, he's an expert on deep sea exploration stuff. I think because he did the abyss, Trimby, that was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He made a film in 1981 called Piranha 2 The Spawning. Can you believe it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they were like, this is so good, we're going to have you direct terminator to judge terminator and terminator to judgement day. Terminator to judgement day. I tell you what.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This tea that I'm drinking, I made it. I guess I didn't make it. Oh yea, you could, you could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shampoo. The floor shampoo. Shampoo. So we talked a little bit about all sorts of stuff recently. Don't tell me he's dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Okay. Yeah, I watched it at Christmas like when I was a kid. I think that that scared me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he presents it. That's like saying, that's like having the fucking ghost written. It's like saying, ah, Jordan's autobiography. Written by Jordan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's, here's the deal. The story wasn't originally intended to be filmed at all until Spielberg took an interest in turning it into a film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he bought it and then hired Joe Dante as the director because of his previous experience with horror comedy. Okay, Spielberg has a cameo in the film as a man riding a recumbent bicycle. A recumbent- that's one of those bicycles that has like a lean-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, apparently, uuuh, instead of Stripe, instead of Stripe being a Mogwai who becomes a Gremlin, there was originally no Mogwai named Stripe, rather Gizmo was supposed to turn into Stripe the Gremlin. However, Spielberg wanted to keep Gizmo cute, uhm, and wanted- Remember how-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a, it was a horror comedy, definitely. It was a bit, it was definitely a spookier film, I remember. Uh, as a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Cosy Bitch has made like 300 million at the box office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I watched an episode of Star Wars, uh, Star Wars, Star Trek, okay. I watched an episode of Star Trek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, it was a really early episode, and it was an episode where Wesley got, Q, Q was involved, and he basically gave everyone in the enterprise everything they ever wanted, okay, so he gave war for like a really aggressive clean-on woman. He made, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He gave, made Data a human, you know, he, equivalent or whatever, and he, uhm, cause that's always what Data, Data's like the Pinocchio of Star Trek, and uhm, I wanna be a real boy!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they, they, they, in the show, they had this moment where Wesley Crusher grew up, okay, and they obviously cast this actor who was like a Hollywood bodybuilder model guy. He was like six foot,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's not like a bodybuilder, he's not like what Star Trek envisioned him to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you mean? I'm not gonna grow up into like Arnold Schwarzenegger, am I? I'm just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so basically there's this thing in Hollywood though where they tend to like cast someone who looks a bit similar to that person. So you could sort of imagine that they're a younger or an older version of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes they get it really off, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, like, so you could have the same thing for women though, like stunt boobs, cause I think in Game of Thrones, you know in the Game of Thrones, where there's that, where she has to walk naked through the whole of King's Landing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what it was. I don't think I ever had a crush on, oh no, Dr. Crusher. No, definitely not. No. She's too much of a mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were you, I mean, you couldn't have ever envisaged that, that was just a crush, right? It couldn't have ever been like a relationship. They could have, it just wouldn't have worked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, she was a 45 year old space doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's only like, there's only like five minutes of that in all history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't remember watching that specific one. There are some ridiculous episodes, but there was an episode where Geordie had a problem with the engine, so he created a hologram of the chief engine design engineer, right, who was this really hot water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A season later, okay, she actually visits the ship for realsies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but obviously she doesn't know anything about this, okay, she's like totally the opposite of the hologram, she's like totally like off of him and hates him and stuff. Anyway, uhm, she discovers that he's got this hologram program about her, and it is really sinister actually, it is almost like- It is sinister, I remember


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like someone, it's like you saw this girl, like just a picture of her, and then you drew, you built this entire sort of sketchbook and this entire re- like 3D model of like you and her hanging out. I know, it's almost like the next generation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He really did, and uhm, it was like, he was totally perving on her Facebook and stuff, getting all of her info and all of her deets, implementing it into his real doll fantasy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason, for some reason, he managed to logic her out of it, which I don't think would ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen. You know what it was? He would have been fired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. This is gonna be another week of Archive footage from me and Sipsis' old team Double Dragon. I can hear your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, size of exasperation. I know you're looking forward to some new PFLAX Sips Lewis content, but, uh, I'm in America again, so next week should be back business normal. In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying listening through all of the old waffly, uh, worst bits of Team Double Dragon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we've got another hour of that coming up. So settle in. Hope you enjoy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, uh, are you gonna get that looked at?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have, do you ever look at your keyboard though? Not really. Or is it all by sense and feel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, sorry, I'm drinking a bit of tea here, just in case there's any slurping, but uhm, I noticed a couple of people around the office were pecking away at the keyboard, kind of like, doing that thing where they look at the keyboard, uhm, rather than look at the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, screen. Cause I never look at this, I never ever look at the keyboard ever. I obviously have spent too long, I do it entirely by feel and I spell a lot of stuff wrong. Uhm, but often I either just leave it or like fix it by


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I always thought I was pretty inefficient, I always thought I was pretty bad, but then I was like hanging around in the office just watching some people over the shoulder and I noticed quite how bad they were at, uhm, I'm not gonna name names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. If you could type quickly, they were like, oh my god, you're a secretary now. It was, it was, um, embarrassing to say the least that that was what people assumed. I guess that is a nice qualification to, but I think that often typing quickly is countered by, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you could type the quick brown fox over and over again, that's whoopty fucking do. You could type the quick brown fox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's, I think that the old classic thing, it's a horrible thing to say, but if you can't do, then teach. Right? So if you can't, if you don't think you're good enough to actually do


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anything like math or science or whatever, then teach instead. Now that's, I think that's a bad precedent. Okay, I think that sets a bad example. I think that the people who, I think, I think unfortunately teachers are very undervalued in our society and I think that, um, teachers are not paid very well, uh, and it's sad to think that the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, I think sometimes, sometimes I think you can find these teachers who are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who are, who are, who have failed in life, okay? And have ended up in teaching because they couldn't do, couldn't get any other job, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, as a result, they are trying to like, porn off their work on the students. Almost a little bit like, a little bit like the student is a captive, all the students, their students are a captive audience for their crappy, whatever it is. Right? Their crappy ideas. I got the feeling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying all of them, I think some, some, I've got some friends who are teachers, they are fucking amazing, and honestly, do you know what, good for them choosing to be teachers, because I would not want to be a teacher in this day and age. No, me neither. When every kid has a phone to film you and put you on the internet, you know, god, how embarrassing would that be if you were just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's the thing, like, there was that, uhm, Scottish MP, wasn't there? So one of the, one of the, one of the Scottish MPs was elected.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, recently, and she was quite young. I think she, I think she's in government at the moment, but she's quite young. And so she had all of the, she had a Twitter profile for the last couple of years. And you know, obviously, being only young, like 20 or something now, or maybe, maybe in her 20s, some of her tweets were up there, were kind of a bit...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't worry necessarily, but yea, I guess I do that a lot of young people...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, what is, like if you have a Twitter feed, where you just tweet out


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, pictures of your, or Instagram where you just tweet out pictures of your lunch or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're doing it to kind of get reciprocal, you're trying to encourage other people to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think about, what do you think about privacy, Snowden security? What do you think about the fact that basically everything that you look at on the internet goes through a CIA


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything you do, yeaah, every website you look at, every email you send, everything you do on the internet, all get stored in a big database and they can track that and link that to you and, you know, any time they want, okay, they can basically say


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think it's, it's kind of a, it's like the nothing to hide argument, isn't it, really? It's like, well look, if you've got nothing to hide...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you've got nothing to fear. The whole, the whole thing about, you know, it's, if you're a good guy, it doesn't matter. But, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. I think a lot of change, a lot of social change, a lot of major change in our country has happened through


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you know, the fact that, you know, if you, if you couldn't see exact, you know, if you were running for prime minister, that rubber set of pants, you know, would be on the front page of the newspaper and they'd call you, you know, rubber pants guy forevermore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you rent a flat, you have certain rights. Okay? And one of those rights is that people can't, specifically the landlord- Ring your doorbell? No, people can't come into your flat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, actually, what I did was, I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The landlord is selling this flat, okay, and he wants me to leave. Selling it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, obviously, I'm not supposed to have any contact really with the landlord because he does it through a letting agent. So I signed up with a letting agent called, uhm, whatever they're called. I'm not gonna say what their name is, but they're okay. They're not great. You don't wanna big em up? I don't wanna big em up, but I also don't wanna get him in trouble either. I don't think it's worth my time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if you're, if you have, if you own a house, you just go to, or a flat, you just go to this letting agent, say, you say, hey, uhm, can you let out my flat? They say sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You say, you know, I'm going away for a year. So just, you know, you handle everything and they say sure. And you pay them a certain percentage or fee or, or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and, it's boring, but you know how it works, the world works like that. Okay, anyway, basically I don't think that the landlord should have any interaction with me, okay, and I also don't think he's supposed to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and he's certainly not allowed to come into the property, okay, under any circumstances, really, unless he specifically agreed it with me. Anyway, most landlords are cunts, okay, and I will say this right now, partly because they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying all of them are, but every one I have experienced and interacted with has been. Okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they are, they are, they are, they, you know, you're staying in their flat and they assume that you, you basically are a turd, right? And they want you to, and they, they assume that anything that goes wrong with the flat at all ever is your fault and they're really, really annoyed to have to fix anything that goes wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, oh god, fuck me, I don't want to have to, you know, do this. So I've stayed in this flat for four years, okay? In the four years I've been here, there's been nothing, right? Not a single thing that's gone wrong, okay? However, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, even I paid to get that fixed, and he didn't- Oh, did you? Yeah, and he hasn't even paid for that, so-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I assume I'm gonna be able to get that back when I leave. Uhm, I'll add it to the fucking list of complaints that I have anyway. Uhm, yesterday, okay. How is that list by the way? So about a month ago, I, actually a couple of months ago, uhm, I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found some mold growing in the back on the wall of one of the cupboards, okay, in my flat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have touched this. No, no you haven't. I don't recall any mold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so there's like some, some black mold, okay, growing in the back of my cupboard. And it was just, it was a cupboard that I used to just store crap. So when I moved into the flat, it had a lot of crap in it, right? Like a, like a bunch of broken chairs and a load of, an old lamp and stuff like that. And because it's a tiny flat,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I couldn't be asked to like, I didn't want to chuck them away because they were on the inventory, you know, and if, if I left, okay, the flat, or if I chucked them away when I left, the inventory would say three,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so a lot of it, yeaah, went all, went all mouldy and stuff. And so I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. So anyway, I took pictures of it all. So the first thing you should always do, okay, everyone, listen to this. This is really useful. We have smartphones these days. You can take pictures of fucking everything. Do so, right? And that point will become more relevant as this story goes on. But I took, I took a load of pictures of everything and I told him, uhm, basically,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he said, no, of course I didn't, what the fuck. Anyway, he said, this is clearly your fault, you must have spilled a load of water in this cupboard, okay? And I said, sure. And he said, I want you to clean it up. And I said, sure. Right? And so, so, because I didn't want to deal with this asshole. Sounds like a very friendly exchange so far. And I said to him,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it is that, right? But, if some more mould comes back in this cupboard...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On your head be it, okay? I'm not taking any responsibility. Anyway, cut forward a month, okay? I don't use that spare room, I've taken everything out of that cupboard. I look in that room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The mold has spread, I cleaned it up, okay, I cleaned all the mold up and I painted it all over, but the mold now has spread across the entire wall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, you know, a week goes by, nothing. And a week goes by, nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I'm like, you know, I told them, what the fuck, you know, at least I've got a record of the emails where I told them, I've got pictures of when, you know, of it getting worse. It's like, I'm totally safe, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In terms of my, cause I, I read about these, these people who got sued by their landlord because they didn't report mold that there was in a property that they rented. Okay. And the landlord sued them for more than their deposit. So normally when you're in a flat, you think, oh, okay, here's another thing about being in a flat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You pay a deposit when you move in, and you think that's the most that they can possibly charge you. Like, you could wreck the flat and they think, oh well, I've only got a £2000 deposit, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could just that, you know, it's never gonna get worse than that even if I completely fuck it up. But no, that's not true at all. If you fuck a flat up badly, they can sue you and it'll take claim damages off you and make you pay a lot more than your deposit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, they, they, so the letting agency say we're sending around a guy, okay? And so I'm like, okay, a guy, when's he coming? They say, well, when's it convenient? Because they have to arrange it with me. And so, in fact, they can't even really get in to do anything unless they give me a date and notify me by mail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normally they have to notify me by mail at least a week in advance or with reasonable notice, right? They can't just turn up unannounced. Well they can ring on the doorbell, but they're certainly not allowed to come in unannounced. Anyway, uhm, fucking, some maintenance guy comes and I meet him and he's like, he's like this guy who just absolutely stinks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some reason, of sweat, and I'm like, holy shit. Anyway, I show him the mould, he's like, oh yeaah, quite a lot of mould there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, yeah. And he starts rubbing himself all over the wall, like touching it all over the place, like no fucking, not scared at all. No fucking clothes on. And he's like, oh, it's really warm. It must be the hot water pipe next door that's burst. Obviously they haven't, it's probably a lot worse on their side. Oh yeah, by the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, the reason I looked in the spare room was because I got a notice on my, stuck on my door by the building manager who said there's been a lot of leaks in, in some of these, some of these flats weren't built very well. It's just a horrible part to be leaking to. You might want to check. It's like a brand new flat, flat in a fancy place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] New places are fucking, you pay like £300,000 for a place made out of shit, fucking tiny, it's garbage. You gotta think like, it's sad really, it's really sad that house prices, they can't stay this high much longer because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they won't. They'll be crashed. Don't worry. Honestly. You'll be fine. I'm looking forward to it. But it does matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm fine, I don't have, I don't own my own place, so it's okay. But it doesn't matter, even if I did, it's fine. Uhm, anyway, who cares? Look, uhm, so, he fucked off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a week later, I'm just sitting here in my, in my, so this was yesterday, a week later, I'm just sitting here in my, in my pyjamas and my dressing gown. And I hear the doorbell ring, now the doorbell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, yesterday, right? I'm very organized with my schedule, because I have to be, right? I'm very organized. I turn up to everything on time. I very rarely...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's people. If their doorbell rings, it's gonna be someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, one of my neighbors, something like that, who might want, I don't know, a can opener. Whatever. I don't know what neighbors might want. What? No. Who knows?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so the doorbell rings, and I'd say when the doorbell rings in places that I live, 90% of the time I don't answer it. Okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's just how, who I am, right? I just don't answer the door. I don't answer the door. Now, sometimes I will sneak up very, very quietly to the door and look through the peephole at the person in the corridor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then I will silently back off so they don't think I'm there and they'll leave me alone, okay? I didn't do it in this case, I just thought, cause I can't remember what I was doing, but I was, I was, I was like I am now, so I'm wearing


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Usually I'm wearing a pair of pajama bottoms, okay. I'm wearing an old t-shirt. I'm wearing a dressing gown, which is white and wooly and fluffy. And I wash it about once every three weeks. So it kind of gets a bit grungy after a while, but I do wash it. Okay. Sure. And I'm wearing a pair of socks. Okay. That's all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, I hear that terrible, I'm getting really nervous already talking about it, I hear that terrible sound of a key turning in the lock. Okay? Oh no! So you rushed to put your clothes on really quick. What the fuck? No, so I get my, I literally, I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all I was like, terrified. Cause I thought- And also I was really really pissed off. Because I thought, who-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I sent them to the, um, the agency saying, are you aware that this landlord just lets himself into people's properties unannounced?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I was a woman, that would have been a lot scarier, okay? And I, I, it's nice that we have smartphones these days, because if I was a woman, like, I would, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe even I would do this as a man. The thing is, if I hadn't recognized Mr. Landlord, the first thing I would have done is tweet that picture out. I would have been like, there's a man coming to my flat right now. And I would have tweeted that, and I would have said to him,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello, sir. Whoever you are, you've just illegally entered my flat. I've posted a picture of your face onto my Twitter feed, in case you're gonna murder me. Uh, so I suggest you leave right the fuck now. Uhm, yeaah. Is that what you said to him? No, I said...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said, oh hello. And he said, oh hello, I've come to look at the mould. And I said, we met before. And he said, yeaah. And I said, I told you that if the mould came back, it was your fault. Cause I didn't do it. And he said, oh did you? And I said, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think, you know what though, I think a lot of people will think that I'm some sort of psychopath about the way that I handled that situation. Because it was a pretty normal situation, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the problem is that you only half play the game, because you're half trying to listen to me. And I don't play the game at all. I'm not really aware of what's going on at all, because I'm just rambling about garbage, so. But I only use half my brain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a classic problem that doctors have though these days, is that everyone googles everything. It's true, yea, my doctor-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing you don't necessarily get is a more medium, a more, the problem is like, like if you google, oh chest pains, it's gonna be like heart attack, you're having a heart attack, or something pretty serious, or like if you google, oh I've got a lump, they're like cancer, cancer, cancer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ninety-nine percent of the time, well not ninety, I'm not a doctor so I don't actually know what the percent of the time is, but I think a good percent of the time, it's pretty common.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you having an achy leg does not mean you've got varicose veins or whatever. You know, it's not gonna, it's not gonna be that bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I think that's, that, I think a lot of people are very hyper-conjected because of the internet. They, they think that, you know, they wake up and they've got like a, uh, an erection and they're like, oh my god, the world is ending, I must have like, space aid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying don't go to doctor, I think you should go to doctor for even the most trivial things, just like head over there and be reassured.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, that's the thing, I guess in America where, you know, you can't go for free then, it's always, I suppose it's a lot of people in America, it's different, right? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a shame that- That sucks. It's a shame, isn't it, that we live in this, this world where- Yeaah. It's wretched, isn't it? It is wretched, indeed it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, have you read any other comments out of this, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can, uhm, read you some comments if you like, from videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alex Blackstar Altai says, this is nice, but can we get Lewis to play? Cause this channel is really just Lewis rambling with sips half pays attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's true. I guess he wants it the other way around. He wants you rambling with me. He's right. Pay half attention.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thing is, reading these quotes, reading these comments is a little bit weird and out of context because I don't quite know what they refer to often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, any video, well I've got latest video, latest comments, so it's like the comments that have just come in in the last like six hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course pencils are still used in school. There's no way I'm doing math with a pen. That is from Ghost Thane. So that's what we talked about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With them and stuff. Nice. Jack Bridgman says, Hey Sips, do you remember apple juice?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you have that when you were at school, or were you a filthy milk drinker?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually watched this video while eating a radish, lettuce, and cherry tomatoes with miso soup dressing. I'm drunk and this is the only food in my house. Last night, I had, uh, I ran out of food, sips, uhm, and I had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's easy to just slob out, not buy food and just see what's in the cupboard and, uh, end up eating something which is just made up of leftovers. Yeah, I do that a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems to be a lot of complaining. Cabell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The difference between- Okay, don't read those ones, because- No, because we talked about, uh, sugar, okay? Because I watched a bunch of documentaries and there's like a book about how sugar is really bad for you, right? Right, yeaah. And, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, you know, if you want to lose weight, the first thing to do is to start cutting sugar out of your diet because it's bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are saying, people are saying, oh, there is a difference between different types of sugar, there's good ones and bad ones. Shut the fuck up. No there is though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think there's such a thing as a sugar rush. And that's how you get- That's a big fallacy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no, there's no, there's no such thing as a sugar rush. There's two types of sugar. One of them is the American sugar, which is made from corn syrup, which the American government subsidizes, and that's why it goes in everything, you know. Basically, corn in America is cheaper than it costs to make, because the government


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, if you're interested about this, don't fucking take advice off two idiots on the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sucrose is bad for you, and fructose is very bad for you. So, it's, there is no good sugar, you know, you can eat fruit, sure, it's not too bad, it hasn't got that much sugar in it, if you eat like an entire apple, or an entire banana, like the amount of sugar in there isn't too bad, it's when it gets juiced, and you get the equivalent of 10 apples worth of sugar into one fucking tiny shot, that's when it gets bad. Alright? People out there, I'm not talking to you Sibs, I'm talking to people out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. The, the worst, the fattest people out there will say that they do do all that stuff. They'll say, they'll say to you, I do do stuff in moderation, I do do exercise, I do go out. Okay, well I would argue that they're lying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't think they're lying, I think they're deluded. No, they are, straight up, they are lying. I don't think they're lying, I think they're deluded. I think they just don't realize and don't have any kind of concept, which is why if you are, look, I'm not a nutritionist, I don't know shit about nutrition, I don't know shit about anything, okay, but if you are overweight, then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do something about it and don't, don't take Sips' diet plan of do a bit of everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that people who actually listen to this podcast are assuming that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. I feel bad sometimes on this podcast. I feel, I feel guilty. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, at a certain point in time though, I think this is something I learned from you, was that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just have to not care. You know? Well, just to let go. Did you learn that from me? We're just doing this thing and throwing it out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm looking at these YouTube comments where everyone is saying, I'm very disappointed with how Lewis is talking out of his ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're not fat either, you have a vegetarian diet, you're very thin. I think America could learn a lot from us, is what I'm saying. And I know I talk out my ass a lot, but really what I'm trying to do on this is provoke you to learn yourself. And not listen to what the man tells you, okay? Even in school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Educating their kids about food and not feeding their kids properly when they're young and you know, if you're a teenager and you're fat, holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's your parents fault, really, you know, because you've not been, you know, you don't look after yourself, you don't feed yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you need to, good luck getting out of that spiral and it's hard work, but it's very doable and it just involves very much changing what you have in your house and counting calories probably to start with and cutting out key things like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, like sugar, like sugar is the main, the main thing that needs to go, and it's in everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sugar is in everything. It's a real, it's a real plague in our society right now. Everyone's addicted to sugar. It's in everything. It's in yoga, it's in cereal, it's in fucking everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right though, that's what we want. We want you to be beaten up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we do. No, that's, no, that's not nice. What've we got here? We got...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sips and Lewis borderline offend 70% of their fan base for 10 minutes. Right, well, there you go, wizard spoon, right? First of all, you fucking picked out a random number out of your ass there. 70%. How do you- how do you know that? Uh, but it's possible-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every generation thinks the next one is entitled and immature. Guess what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guess what? They're younger. People mature as they get older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I think, I think, uhm, I think that, that, if, if all this pod, if all this podcast does, is, is piss you off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, it might be a community of people who talk about the best ways to go to the gym, or to think about our place in the universe, whatever it is, there's people out there, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no concrete ways to do anything in this life. There's no concrete ways set down to live your life, uhm, or make decisions or choose what to do. You have to just come up with your own way through this mixed up world, this crazy world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, sure. It has been known to be the case. It has been known. It is known.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a kind of stream of consciousness that just comes at me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we record it early in the morning, okay? Yeah, that's true. When I'm- I've barely woken up. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The last thing I've had time to do is compose my thoughts. And also, I've not really also be very one of these people who can just talk off the cuff about stuff. No? Confidently. I don't know, you always struck me as somebody who can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is one of the big points I think that I always talk about that. I am so terrified of being wrong, being picked up on, and being called out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm very, kind of, ambiguous. I'm very, um, very equal sided sometimes in the things I say. And whereas, whereas some people are so confident in their ways and, you know, they'll tell you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly what they think, and then when they get called out for being wrong later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there's, there's some- I just don't really care about- Stuff gets posted on Reddit, okay? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Donald Trump said that, you know, all the filthy Mexicans coming in are gonna cause US jobs to get used up or whatever. And the reality is that probably a bit of immigration is a good thing, okay, or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That works. Jump cuts. Well, the problem is the economic data, you know, we have data on jobs and we have data on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, exports and imports and all these, all these, all these things. The data on people who go to school. We examine all of our kids all the time. We know, you know, exactly what they're doing all the time and, and we have all this incredible amount of surveillance going on. This is an enormous amount of data at our fingertips, okay? Oh yea, we talked about this the other day, remember? The problem is, a politician often,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's a difference between having the data and converting the data into something that makes good sense and making conclusions from it, drawing conclusions from it. And often people will try and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Draw the conclusions to fit their own agenda in many ways, but also sometimes in this data there are fairly strong biases or indicators that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A certain thing is a certain way. So for example, immigration, there's probably a lot of evidence to show that in some countries and certainly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In America, maybe these days, I dunno, it's a good thing. Okay, a little bit of it is a good thing. You know, having people come in, uhm, you know, there's probably some statistics that show, you know, how hard they work versus other people, how happy they are versus other people. There's probably all sorts of studies done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the problem is that many politicians are just humans and their agenda is very locked down to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They will just, just, I guess it's not lying, but it's definitely not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, it's, it's bending the truth. It's a little bit like what we do here in many ways, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What all humans do, they hear something, interpret something from it, and then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Repeat that back out a little bit like Chinese whispers, okay? Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, don't, yeah, like the telephone game. Don't get me wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, whenever I, sometimes I say stuff very confidently, and it's bollocks, and it's because I've heard it wrong, or it's Carl Pilkington's way out of my head, you know, in that I got completely the wrong end of the stick. And so,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, I think, I think it's hard to, it's hard to, it's hard to go through life being 100% correct about every single thing. And I think this is something that humans have struggled with for a long, long time. You know, how, ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it does. But it's the same thing with having a kid, right? Because kids look at the world in such a different angle. Carl Bumpton looks at the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, through, they don't have a filter. They don't, they haven't been ground down by the realities and everything in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next generation are calling themselves iGen. Do you like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure that, I'm not sure that's true. I think we're 90, but I think we're 99% similar in DNA with a mouse. And like 99.9 with a, with a chimpanzee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very sort of traditionally uhm, something which the Republicans and the Conservatives, they, they, they don't, they don't like. It's a kind of one of these things. And I was, I think I mentioned it in context of I'm worried that I'm becoming more


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] conservative, as I get older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely more old fashioned values, you know, you know, something like gay rights is much more opposed by older people and older generations, right? And so, I guess what we talked about was uhm, was


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess what I'm trying to say, okay, is that there's two sides in politics, okay, there's the liberals broadly and the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I think that a more liberal mindset would be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that honestly, I think that probably some single parents raise the best kids that exist, okay? I think some of the single parents are fucking probably super amazing.


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[Assistant] I think that, do you know what though? I think that all parents probably should be required to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also Ben to some extent is, all three of you are sort of terrified that you're gonna mess this kid up and you're like super, this seems to be like a super amount of pressure on you guys to perform. Especially with the first kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you feel like, you feel like, oh, anything that you do might cause, you, you read far into implications. You say, oh, you know, am I teaching in bad things by, by doing this? Or, you know, you've got to balance kind of your own fun and happiness with,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that, I think that single parents are probably fine. I'm not backpedaling from what I said last time. I think that there are certain things which single mothers, I think it's, I think it's probably slightly dangerous that we're having this, uhm, a lot of single mothers bring up, bring up a lot of kids, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost as the norm. Okay. Almost as if it's starting to become cool to be the norm. Cause I think that that family unit is a strong thing to have and it's a happy thing in people's lives. And I think that probably the mother misses out on that just as much as


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, from not having a single, you know, exactly as the, as the kid does. And I think that, but that doesn't mean that they don't bring up kids well. I think they do. And I think that they, I think that if they're the right people, then holy shit, they probably do a way better job than a ill-suited family would do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why, you asked me to read the YouTube comments out and all it's doing


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[Assistant] Congratulations to our top contributor this month, Lewis from the Young's cast. He's been given gold. He really loves his anime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The scroll wheel shouldn't be a wheel. It needs to be a button that's sensitive to being touched at the top and the bottom, and you sort of, you scroll it with your finger, but it's not an actual friggin' wheel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that when you push it, it's just another button. Cause the problem is you're pushing a little stupid hamster wheel thing. So they need to just have it so that you just move your finger in a scrolling motion on the thing that is still a button. So when it comes time to button that thing, it buttons like a button.