[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm not, I'm not a big fan of that either. Like it's like, uh, there's a lot of that where I'm not a fan of telling someone don't do something. And that's where that comes from is there's a lot of that, like, should I get into comedy? And someone's like, do yourself a favor, don't get into comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, yeah, get into, maybe you are the one that makes it. I don't know. Like it's that same kind I did. Should I go do, can I go chase my dreams like you? No, it brings your soul. You're like, I think your own soul has got some problems if you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a, that's a giant thing. And it's not like they're specifically looking at you going, you're gonna take my job. It's the idea that like, you know, they're trying to say it's hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's with, uh, everything. I think there's a lot of that in Hollywood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just don't, you know, and the people that create the shows don't want their jobs taken. Not the creator, but I mean the networks and stuff. So the people that run the networks and they, so they make these decisions. They're like, well, I'll just do Tom Hanks again, cause I don't want to lose my job. And so then no one's like a risk taker. And then that's where you're at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we had risk takers back then. That's how you got TGIF. Exactly. Transformation chambers, all that stuff. All that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Victor Kazushi. If you plan to have any other guests, would they appear with all four of you or would it only happen if one of you is out of, one of you is out? Five people talking at once just seems like a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you're staying here? I go, yeah. She goes, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's fine. And I was like, no, he's, I got told, you know, I got told that he lives here. I talked to him. I go, yeah, I'm going through a rough patch. I go, Greg, can you come over when you talk to you in front of everybody? I go, Laura, he's here already. He's looking at me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, yeaah, you gotta live life. Uh, this week, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we kind of found something fun to talk about. We came up with, do you want to say the title? Uh, you came up with this title, so. I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the shows, all your shows are the same show. Exactly the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It probably doesn't help that he's Robin from the rich and his name is Robin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, uh, I don't, I don't think you should. No, in real life it's probably not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta, it's the idea, if you steal something at Walmart, you're not really getting anything. You're either someone, they're a regular person like you is going to get in trouble or going to have to fight you or going to have to do something. It's, it's the, yeah, the corporation is not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, yea. He brings it to a door, that adds, animals tend to do that. They're like, we've been polluting the lake and these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But poor people are getting to go cause he's, he's like with the financial aid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like one I feel like if you're with him and he told you this, you're like, dude, I, I get, first of all, I get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I get what you want. Like that's how you'd have to start the conversation. She's like, I'm thinking about doing this. She's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're raised by your mom, do they make you go fine? You're like, what if you're like, I don't, I don't know my dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I'm not saying you would, but like, why would they be like, we need to see your dad's thing? Because some people could be like, I don't know what to tell you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could have been, I could have went to Harvard. Yeah, they're like, did he graduate? No, he's the 2% that did. But, you know, I liked him, but he went. It was a good three weeks for him. He had a fun time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, they go out and figure it out and do it on their own. It is tough though. It's, you know, but I don't know. Some of this stuff's good. That if they do it, I feel like we can make them change or make the company change or shakes the system up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it, that, this one is a female, is there a prison with male and female?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that, and really that's how they, uh, there's prisons that, I didn't know prisons like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Different floors. And they don't ever let them like even near each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just being locked up. I mean, it's, yeah, I think of the claustrophobia. You're like, how do you not? You have no control.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, where are you picking, you're not picking people out from Bed Bath & Beyond. Your options are, they're prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a chance that guy could be the most annoying. Like if it was like one of these Robin Hood guys where you're kinda like, you would just, someone that's, you're like, I don't, you know, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you'd have to accept that you're going to be in his court too. Right. Cause a guy like that, those guys are, they're so charming that they can make someone do that. Once he walks in, you're like, I'm joining his thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Cause it was just so... I think it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just really give it a go. Just right away. You could, I think you could befriend someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know and then just like any of that guy with that girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He goes, I don't know if you're going to make it. You're a nice guy. He goes, there's a lot of high grass out there. There's not even like Alcatraz. He goes, there's high grass. There's a highway. There's an interstate. It's five lanes. I go, what? You think you can cross that? We don't know when we're going


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess to really sell it. But it's like, yeah, just bring, be like, give me some, uh, you know, flats. I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean do people make it out? Like if you escape, are they ever, it seems like no one ever successfully escapes. You know what song I do know? Uh, what's that blue tick hound country song?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a prison that, it's the only song I know about lyrics. And it was a prison and they had, uh, I don't think they had fences. And it's like, they would be, the guards would be like, yeah, go ahead and run.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they had dogs that would be able to track you. You're in the middle of nowhere. You never make it. And so, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blake Shelton, or the singer, he would walk one of the dogs as a blue tick hound or something. And he walks the dog and what he does is he has, he'd take him on this big walk in the woods. I mean. Had a nose that could smell a two day trail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, and then he gets his buddy to bring another dog. And so when the, those dogs would meet and like, you know, like they, those dogs loved each other. So one day he runs and then they send old Red to go get him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when he's running this way, he knows Old Rad is running to the other dog. And then he's, and then he got out and he was able to write this song. He says, love got, love got me in here and love got me out. All that's in a song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't you kind of, 9-11, you kind of shut it down? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude's flipping out at Woodstock. He's on the ground. There is no dog. It's hallucinating. There's no dogs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like these guys, I mean, if you, I don't know if you're about to, are you going to read a successful one or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] D.B. Cooper. D.B. Cooper. Yeaah. Yeaah. There's the documentary on that. Yup. It's, yeaah. You don't hear about Ian Gooden. I mean, I just, it's like, how do you get out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then where do you go? I think these guys, I think you could get out, but it's like, you have to have a major plan when you get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. You gotta, yeah, you have to, you just have to go live in a small town and like, I don't, I don't, you'd have to walk and just be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if we should try to see if we can help someone escape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you think you're like, you know what? I'm tired of prison. You know, some of you might not be. And how many listeners?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got a force, so we get air, all the folks would come in and be like, yeah, we need you to do, don't be doing no crazy crimes. We need to be something nice and easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, yea, you guys, I'm on probation, and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I talked to 3D about that. Yeah, that is a good mix. Comes out and they go, I'll tell you what, Larry, not bad. Not bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I go, he's a major serial killer. I go, I know. That surprised me too. But have you talked to him about baseball?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, tell, tell, listen to Don Mattingly's story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a very big sign. Yeah. It's just like, this is fun. They go to the tornado or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many nectarines are there? He goes, you wouldn't believe. He goes, I can mess up for days on these nectarines. And there's just, they keep coming. That's such a weird fruit that they would give prisoners. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't know if I know what a nectarine is, is it an orange? I think a small orange. Small orange. And he probably ruined it for everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, it is like, how is no one, there is a moment though, you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does he have a grenade? Like where would he get that grenade? Where would he get this? Yea, do we?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we not metal, like you'd wanna, metal texture is not a thing anymore? What are we doing? Is that how we're letting people in? It's such an odd weapon to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, to be able to somehow have a go- how did you get a grenade?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is true. Why didn't no one ask this guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it feels like if one officer goes, how'd you get the grenade? Hey, it's like, you just going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why you have a grenade. That's why I don't have to tell you how I got a grenade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're barely above the power lines. It's like, the police are just walking under. Yea, it's not hard to track it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That guy was, that guy was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like that's what's crazy with him. Yeah, he didn't, he works at the FBI or something or he did. He did, I think. Did he die? No, I think he's still alive. Is he out? Like he's out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, he does, I think he worked, like in the movie they get him working for like the FBI.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, you can, I mean, it's like, it's funny cause this guy is just like a super smart, like just charming. Charm is gigantic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think charm is a very overlooking factor. Charm is how you get out of everything. It gets you out of a lot of scrapes, right? Yeah. And cause you, you, if you're, if you can just be super charming with someone and trust and all that, like that's how you get


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're in this kind of life, that's how you get, I mean every, in anything, that's how you get far.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And no idea. No idea. No idea. No idea. No. Just be like, Hey, how you doing? Is that when you got down on one knee next to the table? You go, guys, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It goes dusty, you wanna head on back down and you go back down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would not charge people soda sometimes at the beginning because you think it's going to get you a bigger tip and it doesn't. Nah. Cause it's, it's about the price. They tip off the price. And when you first start, you don't realize that. And you think like, Hey, I'm hooking you up. You'd have to say it like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Is it, is it like, uh, you know, like a TGI Fridays or like Jay Alexander's? I think it tried to be, or not tried it. It's owned by TGI.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be like, but you go to Dots would be like, we're going on a date night. Yeaah. We're going to go to Dots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that in Mexico though? Yeah. Mexico is a little different. I mean, I think Mexico, I think you're a chump if you stay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's why they were like, we're going to send you here. And it's like, it's not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think he, those guys, you do not want to go to a U.S. prison. Like in Mexico, it seems like they can, I mean, they go to that prison. It's like, I mean, they're going to be out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, yeah, like there's kids selling stuff from this. Yeah, it's like you walking down like, uh, a town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When he gets stuck. Yeah, he's just in there. One day they open it and he's just sitting in it in the food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a guy that's in that state, if you just forget that you murdered someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't happen and then you're, you know, and it's been long enough that you eventually just go, my fries are cold and they're doing this on purpose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that guy ruined it for all the other people that are just trying to call about lukewarm fries and run in the woods. Cause you're gonna be like, well I gotta assume all of you killed someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause the one time I went and chased him, that guy killed someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, I didn't kill anybody, I just am so mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a little bit too that you want to say from McDonald's. Y'all need to get it together at your places. Cause you're driving people to this insanity. Your ice cream machine's broke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your, your fries are not always, you know, it's like, they can be sitting there like McDonald's. You want to go like, people expect a product. We like McDonald's. And some of this is, so this is on McDonald's as much as it is on that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The kind of slogan should be like, we don't want a guy that just got done murdering a guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He comes in here, has a nice meal, he's probably a little stressed and hot. Give him some hot fries.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm loving it. Yeah, that's the new commercial. That's good. Yeah. Keep them out. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Well, uh, that, that's it. Yeah. Cause I want to end on a story. Okay. That with, uh, with Greg, that, that's a wonderful story about the rider's strike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I don't know if you had that. I think, I think it's a good story to tell. I don't know if anybody knows this. Uh, but, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the Rider Strike was in, when was the Rider Strike?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I love it. And it's, yeah, 2008, I actually wrote for a show during the writer's strike. I was the opposite. You were scabbed. The first I wrote for this Spike video game awards and I, you know, I was like a comic and I got wrote for it. And then it was like the strike happened and it's like, you're just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like, well, are we not supposed to be writing? They didn't put our names on the credits to like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess so we don't get in trouble. Yeah. But you're like, we're not even writers, dude. Like we're not like you were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I was like, I didn't even know what's happening in your, uh, but I remember it was like a big day, like we're not putting your name on. And then I even still, I kind of wanted it. They would have really asked me, I'd have been like, I still would like it on. Yeah. I'd like some acknowledgement. My parents are going to watch this. Yeah. My parents are like, I don't know what's happening with this. Like, what is a guild? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, but they went on strike, the writers went on strike, and it was a big thing, and then you can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that, uh, it makes me want to do it. Like it's the idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you just, sometimes you do want to like kind of go back and I, and I think people could even want that, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, not even like this career, but in like, the older you get, the more you could be, it's a, you know, in your head, it's a simpler time of just, you're, I work at this restaurant and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome. I love it. That is a great story. That's really great. I've always loved that story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, uh, as always, uh, wow, we love all you. And then, uh, go watch Sprung, uh, I've watched it, it's awesome. Season finale this week, right? Season finale this Friday and then all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rest of your life. Yep. It's a, it's a super fun show. I remember reading the, uh, you sent me the script and, uh, and it was just like, uh, it's just such a fun idea. It's a, it's a great show. Uh, so thanks for coming on. Uh, yeah, I'll be, when this comes out this week, I'm in Thousand Oaks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Long Beach, San Francisco, New Mexico, uh, and then four shows in Phoenix, taping the special. So next time I come back, I'll be, uh, special will be taping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. We love you. Thank you as always for listening and we will see you next week. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetti and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wouldn't it be great if he was just telling people that as he sold the marriage? Yea, well people think it's him. He just fueled the rumor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life is busy and your well-being is important. Athletic Greens makes it so easy to get the vitamins you need every day with just one scoop.


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[Assistant] Athletic Greens is giving you a free 1-year supply of Immune Supporting Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate for a free 1-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. That's AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how you say it. Compass. Compass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah. That's right. That'll be perfect. I blew off a hello folks. Uhm, didn't even realize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Well, a couple weeks ago, I think it was the Greg Garcia episode. We're like, oh, we came up with this. And you, you know, we're an hour in now and you're like, it's, it's Robin Hood in prisons. And people were just saying, we've seen the title on the screen the entire time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A few weeks ago when I was with Dusty in Huntsville, we were in a hotel lobby and a guy said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Directed at me, I think. Hello folks. And I just kind of like, whatever, because all weekend people have been, everywhere we've been, been saying, we're having a good time to Dusty. And I just got some in my head, they're just talking to Dusty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That it didn't even cross my mind. They're actually saying, hello folks, NateLand people. And then we left and Dusty said, you know, that guy said, hello folks. And he was kind of directing it in your direction. I was like, Oh, I gotta go find him. But yeah, go run him down and go, Hey, hey, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're lying to you. That's big Google. I agree with that. Yeah. Let's see the British.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he texted me this weekend. He was in Lebanon and stopped to eat, asked me where to go eat. I'm like, what are you doing in Lebanon? Yeah, you told him Panera Bread.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of these smaller gas stations, if you pull in just to use the bathroom or grab something, there's no obvious place to park, right? Unless you're at the pump. Yea, I don't think people were too worried about that. Okay, let's move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of people are arguing. They were like, Nate, I love what you said about just living in the moment. And then someone else was like, no, he's saying the opposite. Don't live in the moment. And then, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's enough, Frank. There was a one episode of Seinfeld where each turn she goes, that's enough, Frank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you're going in there? Who's- I bet the H is silent, I bet it's Balone. Balone, no, Bell Home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's remarkable. Yeah. We don't know why, but yeah, he is an apple seed. What are you going to say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now do you call Eric as your sponsor sometimes? Like, I'm having problems, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need it. Someone pointed out that last week you said tonight's going to be my cheat day after you talked about the weekend where you just over and over and over. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm building it in Sevierville. That's near Dollywood. And. So my uncle lives in Sevierville. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you go through Sevierville on your way to Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg. Maybe they can get a trolley that'll just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw a picture, I think it's called Smokey Mountain Market and there was a, I saw one Google image of it. But does that sound right, Nate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were talking about malls, and now he's saying gas station is the only last American.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our next partner is a product we've all started using every day, Athletic Greens. We started taking Athletic Greens because none of us eat very well. Nate was eating well, but now he's falling off the wagon. But when you want to get back on... On the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, no, because the last couple of weeks he's eaten terribly. So that means he would be off the wagon, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Travel packs are great for when any of us are on the road or on a wagon. You can just easily pour it into a bottle of water. Right now it's time to reclaim your health and help you get back on the wagon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can help your immune system with convenient daily nutrition, especially heading to flu and cold season. Just one scoop and a cup of water every day. That's it. No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you one free year supply of Immune Supporting Vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit AthleticGreens.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Again, that's athleticgreens.com slash Nate to take ownership over your health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I did some shows with Angela Johnson and she also recorded her special and it was at the Ramen Auditorium in Nashville. And that is just, if you grew up here, it's such an honor to get to perform at that venue. It is just one of the best places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wanted by, uh, Alan Jackson, because he, uh, he basically just has to talk it out, part of that, where he's putting the ad in, wanting a new line. He goes, he goes, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's Bon Jovi. He goes, uh, what's that? No, this is personal. He just has to say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it was, uh, Kathy Mateja. Where have you been?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's about this couple that grow old together and then they've never been apart, but then they both go in the hospital and, and I think one of them's lost their memory and, uh, it's autobiographical for me probably, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then they roll them into the hospital bed together, like in the same room. And then the person who hasn't remembered anything's like, where have you been? They remember their spouse and it's a very sweet, but very.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the whole way home we would try to test each other with sad songs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well with language, there's, they think there's between six and seven thousand different languages spoken in the world. There you go, at least they narrowed it down. Yeah. Well there's so many, they just,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some, there's one, there's one guy left who speaks it. Oh really? One guy. So they're like just trying to get it down before he dies. He's not really saying it a lot, I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has no one to talk to, no one understands him. Uh, where does he live? He lives in, uh, Ecuador. For that matter, I got a 17.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, he speaks, he lives in Peru, near Ecuador, and they got his name here. New York Times did an article on him, so uhm, his name is Amadio Garcia Garcia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's the only one left and so now the Peru Ministry of Culture is trying to do a database of 1500 words that his language speaks, 27 stories and three songs that they've collected from him to try to preserve this language.


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[Assistant] Should be called, we're having a good time. Yeah, perfect. So there's titles for people who can speak multiple languages. If you can speak three languages, you're called a polyglot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a guy who, uh, he's a carpet cleaner and it's kinda like Rain Man. He has the ability to speak like 23 languages.


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[Assistant] It's, he's just a guy who's barely getting by with the carpet cleaning capital of the world. Yeah. So I don't know why he wouldn't be there, but it's a special part of your brain.


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[Assistant] Which you said is one of the hardest. Nate pointed out you just throw rocks in people's heads. That's the language. You said there was a guy who speaks a lot of language who said that's one of the hardest languages. Navajo, yeaah. Was that, was he a Hopper Polyglot or?


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[Assistant] How fluently he speaks them in a lot of these languages.


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[Assistant] A lot of the words, even though I can't speak any other languages. Five. Five. All right. So she's a polyglot.


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[Assistant] I mean, a lot of the languages, the words are similar. Like, I took Latin in high school and like, love is like amor, amore. I think that's similar in almost every language. Is Latin different than Spanish? Not every language.


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[Assistant] Took it because my friends were in high school. It's a dead language, but...


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[Assistant] Well, because a lot, a lot of words derive from Latin that a lot of doctors and lawyers use and everybody, my friends say, oh, I'm going to be a doctor or lawyer. So I'm like, I am too.


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[Assistant] I guess, I mean, you could learn it, but you wouldn't have any conversations.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's right. When Rome ruled the world, they spoke Latin. So that's why all the words come from that. Many of the words. But if you want to lose, learn like Chinese Mandarin, which they say is the hardest language to learn, that's totally different.


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[Assistant] They say that the reason the Chinese Mandarin is so hard to learn is because there's no alphabet. It's symbols. So they have like 8,000 symbols for the words. So...


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[Assistant] It's kinda hard to learn, like, yeaah, like a circle.


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[Assistant] Did you know there's a sentence that they said it's a grammatically correct sentence? Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I looked it up how, what that means. I guess Buffalo means to bully.


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[Assistant] Uh, I looked it up last night and I'm like, I got to tell them about this. It's eight buffaloes. Eight buffaloes. And have you heard this, Aaron?


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[Assistant] But it's basically like if a buffalo is from Buffalo and then they buffaloed some other buffaloes who were from Buffalo that, and it just, it kind of that, but that's a grammatically correct sentence. Buffalo, Buffalo, Buffalo.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. The official language of the skies is English. No matter what country you're in, pilots and crew have to know English. Oh. At least some agree English. That's cool, cause we made flying. Well, we, yeaah. Yeaah. Yeaah. We did it really well.


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[Assistant] Well with air traffic control and stuff, they have to have a kind of a standard language.


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[Assistant] That you know and there were some crashes because of some confusion with communication.


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[Assistant] I think I read where in Korea there was a crash because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Korea, the culture is very much if someone's senior over you, you don't talk.


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[Assistant] He just wasn't getting, like, the message right and they end up crashing because that guy wanted to be respectful.


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[Assistant] Yeah. The shortest grammatically correct sentence is go. That's a full sentence. But no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, I think go is a action that I think that works as the verb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are over 200 fake languages created by books, TVs, movies. The most popular one is Klingon.


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[Assistant] Where there's people who speak fluent Klingon. They have their own alphabet, about 3000 words.


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[Assistant] And there's a Klingon Institute where people go and study and learn. One guy raised his son to speak Klingon as a first language.


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[Assistant] While the boy communicated, while the boy's mother communicated with him in English. And he rarely responded to his father in Klingon. Uhm, and after his fifth birthday, the guy just gave up because the boy just wanted to speak English.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not even watching, just listening.


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[Assistant] There was a study done in the 60s that said 93% of communication is non-verbal.


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[Assistant] Uhm, that's like saying most of the world is the ocean. Well, when Kramer gave up speaking, I think he said, uh, in what way?


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[Assistant] We remember when Kramer gave up speaking, he said that most communication's nonverbal and he did some act outs, but it's either body language or tone is the majority of how we comprehend stuff. It's not the words themselves.


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[Assistant] So there's a language off the coast of Spain that just consists entirely of whistles.


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[Assistant] They get heard, they get heard. I think you're right. I think maybe state law now doesn't even allow you to do that. So you gotta get out. Yeah, if you go out in the country.


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[Assistant] So there's, George Carlin talked about the seven words you can't say on television.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, started with Lenny Bruce. Lenny Bruce got arrested for saying some of these words and then George Carlin got arrested as well for, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Public indecency or something like that. And then it went all the way to the Supreme Court.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A radio station played his, his act doing those seven words. A guy was listening with his 15 year old son. He was with some group that could file a lawsuit and went all the way to Supreme Court.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the FCC fined the radio station for playing it and the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the FCC.


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[Assistant] But George Carlin, I never really paid attention to what that was all about. He was just pointing out how the words are so silly just as they sound. And it is weird how we give meaning to words that we could all just agree these words aren't offensive. We give them their power.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. There's no real power to it. It is kind of amazing how words become a thing in themselves and they come alive.


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[Assistant] The, there's some Supreme Court other cases that they've had a rule on and they said a word, those, the words that we consider bad are usually only bad if it's, it's meaning is about sex or excrement. And one Supreme Court


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Judge made his rule and he said, when I'm on the golf course and I shank my ball into the woods and I yell out a particular word, he's like, I'm not thinking about sex. I'm mad because my golf ball. So it's silly to find someone. He's like, the meaning does have some.


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[Assistant] Yeah, most of us, we work with, we want clean openers and I usually am that clean opener, but if I have an opener, I want to be clean. It's usually either they think they're clean because they're not cussing, but all they talk about sex or sometimes it's the other way around. They, um, they don't have any dirty.


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[Assistant] Topics per se, but then they, every other sentence is a four-letter word.


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[Assistant] Well, there's, I didn't really realize there's three different levels kind of for television. There's the basic broadcast television, which is if you have a rabbit ears, you can get


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, those main ones. And the FCC considers television a...


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[Assistant] Then there's, uh, cable, which you can say moron, because those are, you gotta pay for that. So if you don't like it, you don't have to pay for it. But they have to answer their advertisers. So people complain to their advertisers and they drop them.


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[Assistant] They may not, so they, they still stay somewhat in check and then their subscription base, which is all the streaming services.


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[Assistant] In HBO and all that and that you can just say whatever you want to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. When they think children, you can say more late at night than you can when they think children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the show that had the most average bad cuss words, Sopranos, which we love Sopranos, and it would be dumb if that show didn't have bad words. And when I watch it on regular cable, like A&E or whatever, and they change, forget you! No, forget you! It's not the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm doing the comedy catch in Chattanooga at the end of this month, October 28th to 29th, and they put on their...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, calendar, I put a rating by every comic.


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[Assistant] They didn't ask me, uh, my rating, but they gave me a PG.


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[Assistant] Everyone else on there's R and then I'm PG. So people have reached out to me already saying, Hey, will your openers be clean? And I'm like, I don't know, but they, it might be on just the mobile site.


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[Assistant] Which I've done plenty of times. I've done voice of God. I've done it on your show before where you introduce yourself and then walk out. It's fun.


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[Assistant] That's about it. I was going to get a little bit into sign language. It's a different type. Apparently, Aristotle, one of your heroes.


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[Assistant] Thought that if you were deaf that you had no chance of learning and just push people aside, so.


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[Assistant] Just read people's lips, try to mimic what they do, and it kinda sets sign language back. Thomas, uh.


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[Assistant] Yeah. The first deaf baseball player, they called him Dummy Hoy.


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[Assistant] Because back then, if you were deaf, they called you dumb. So his name was Dummy Hoy. And the rumor is that the reason that the umpire


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[Assistant] Not just says ball, strike one, ball one or whatever is because when he batted, he couldn't tell. So they started doing hand signals like, which I never even thought about, but you know, they do strike and they do ball or they do safe. Some people think.


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[Assistant] Well, that's true, but if you're born deaf, usually you have trouble speaking because you can't.


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[Assistant] Absolutely. And I was going on the love languages, the five love languages. You guys ever done that test? No.


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[Assistant] Alright, well I did it when we were going through premarital counseling. So a guy, Gary Chapman, wrote a book in the 90s, very popular, the five language languages, and basically he breaks it down and it's to help you understand your partner, your spouse, whatever their love language is, most likely is how they're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Giving it to you. So you just, it just helps if you know what means a lot to them, it helps you in your relationship. They are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you do the test, it'll help you determine which one you're most. Oh.


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[Assistant] I mean, you can have more than one, but, but, you know, you look at the top two at least and, and, uh,


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[Assistant] And that just helps you understand your spouse, where they're coming from. The example given if, if you mowed the grass, that's acts of service. That may mean a lot to you, but to your wife, that may mean nothing to her, so.


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[Assistant] Uh, the day this comes out this Wednesday, I'm at the Grand Ole Opry, uh, with Jamie Johnson.


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[Assistant] October 22nd dry bar taping dimension and then October 28th and 29th at the Comedy Catch in Chattanooga.


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[Assistant] Hello folks! Welcome to the Nate Land Podcast. Right now you can get big discounts on all fire pits during Solo Stove's Summer Sale. Use promo code Nate at SoloStove.com for an extra $10 off. That is SoloStove.com promo code Nate for $10 off on top of their incredible Summer Sales discount.


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[Assistant] Hey bear, uh, welcome to the NateLand podcast. I'm here with Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, uh, Dusty Slay.


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[Assistant] Uh, we're having some work done in our house, so if you hear some grinding, I guess, uh, you might, yea, I don't know. It's, it's, it's gonna be happening. Uh, I don't think it was planned, uh, I guess we were hoping it wasn't gonna happen during the show, but it is, so.


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[Assistant] Here we are, uh, I just got back, uh, we got back last night. I was in, uh, uh, uh, Selbyville, Delaware. Awesome time. And then, uh, Wilmington, North Carolina, which is very cool. Back to the scene of the crime of Cape Fear Serpentarium. We had, uh, I need to, uh, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] But that did not happen. And, uh, but it was, it was cool. Like I think the owners of the new place, I guess that was her or something. Whoever, uh, they came to the show and, uh, it was cool. It was, Wilmington was awesome. It was fun to be back into Wilmington.


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[Assistant] And, uh, you know, all the people that came out and stuff, it was, the show was unbelievable. Uh, so we had a good time. And then we went to, then I went to Wyndham championship, the Wyndham golf tournament. Got to walk inside the ropes. The kid that won, his name's Tom Kim. His name's, uh, I don't even know his first name.


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[Assistant] Because he goes by Tom. And he goes by Tom because he's watched Thomas the Train. Really? Yea, he's Korean. Super young, right? Yea, super young. 20 years old. Second youngest to win it in 90 years. Wow. And, uh.


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[Assistant] He, he shot a, he almost shot a 59 yesterday. We were like in his group following him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it was, it was, it was awesome to get to watch him. Uh, but yeah, it goes by Tom. So Tom is training. He's like, I like that. He goes, I'll just have people call me Tom. Everybody calls him Tom Kim. And his, his name is something else, but he- Kim Ju Young. Kim Ju Young. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so it was fun. So I did that. Uh, my buddy Doug, we walked around. It was a good time. You know, we had a little fun, fun adventure. I don't know if I had anything, trying to think of anything.


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[Assistant] It's a lot, feels uncomfortable. It would be, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, to really dive into it and just, yeah, it would be very uncomfortable.


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[Assistant] I wonder how much of the hassle keeps, would keep you from living that way. It's the harry. Just a wife and a daughter.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but it would be like if you want to go live like off the grid, it's just a lot. It's going to be a, you know. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. And you wanted to show, you want to look at your phone, you don't want to have to, every time your eyes are open, it's like we gotta look for food.


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[Assistant] Uh, you could have, it's like too much. I like Breaking Bad a lot and I've watched it a few times, like I go back through it. Did you watch that? I did watch that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then so when the new one comes of the same thing, it's like, you can do it, then you're like, alright, I kind of wanted new, I was, it's like Narcos, I love Narcos on Netflix, all that stuff, but I haven't watched the last season, because you're just kind of like, alright, I don't know if I can do this again. Another, you know.


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[Assistant] I think you got, I always convince myself I'm taking a nap. I just go, I'm gonna take a little nap. I might not even get undressed.


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[Assistant] And just kind of lay there and be like, I'ma just take a little nap and...


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[Assistant] Camden Harvey. Great Scott. I love this. I've been waiting for this episode since number 28 calendars when Nate, Aaron, and Bala had mentioned doing a time episode as a joke. Since then, I couldn't wait to hear the guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make something so simple, so simple seems so complicated and this delivered the goods. Looking forward to the next episode on kitchen cabinets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like a relatively smart person but I could not tell for the life of me what time to set my alarm for or how long it would be until I landed in Nashville. I eventually counted back from my flight time and just set a timer to go off instead of setting an alarm. Having plans in the middle of the time change and across multiple times is very confusing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we have trouble. My, uh, my sister is working with us. She had Abigail's trouble with time zones.


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[Assistant] We got, what, did we not talk about that? Well last week we talked about on our phones. Yeaah, yeaah. That's about it. I have to go, I have to go. No, we were trying to figure out some time for some meeting.


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[Assistant] And she was, she got into GMT somehow.


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[Assistant] There, I was in a different time zone. The mountains ones are the ones that kind of make the ones that are only like an hour. Like Eastern is like, you get it because the TV Pacific, you kind of get it.


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[Assistant] And then Central, cause we live at, she, but she didn't know we lived in Central Time Zone.


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[Assistant] Really? Yeah. She goes, I haven't got a thought. She goes, are we in Eastern time zone? I go, you've lived here.


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[Assistant] For 30 something years. You don't know what time zone we're in. I mean, that's, that's the main problem. That's how you get me, that's how you send me a GMT time.


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[Assistant] Uh, it's go Yanks. I would like to stay standard time. In Georgia in summer it's light at 10pm on Daylight Savings. Ridiculous.


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[Assistant] Georgia passed a law and the U.S. Congress gave its blessings to stay on daylight savings. I'm seriously considering moving to a different state. It really messes with circadian rhythms. And I disdain it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, yeaah. It really messes with your sleep cycle. Could say that. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when was circuit day in? Circu- Circu- Alright.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you don't want to go down that. That's a...


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[Assistant] I did too. I like the sun. I love the sun too. It does a great job.


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[Assistant] Club Greg, time is created by man. Everything in our existence is on a timeline, life to death. There is no conceivable example for eternity. I mean, I don't even know what that means.


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[Assistant] How do people say you can't comprehend it and then there's a word for it though?


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[Assistant] Like, I mean is it, you don't fully understand?


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[Assistant] Like what, how long eternity is? Like it's forever and you just don't know what's going to go on. We don't know what forever means.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well you liked, you know, when you're going to go hang out with some buddies and they don't show up until dark. And you're like, I thought...


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[Assistant] You know, you didn't say which dark. I thought you meant the dark in the morning. High noon. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of high noon stuff. Yeah, yeah. There's no way you're meeting by high noon. It's gotta be, you're like, yo dude, it's 1.30.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, you wanna go live off the grid. Yeaah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you then create a time for your group that you've talked to? Cause then they go, yeah, like they go, well, what time are we going to meet for dinner? And you go, I know I said I'm not for time, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know. I'll ring a bell. I'll ring a bell to let you know it's time. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so the time is based off you but they were not allowed to use that word.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. Zach, always. Uh, Doc Holliday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In regards to time travel, I did some research and wrote an article on a Missouri dude who claimed to have invented a time machine in 1995 and two years later, he disappeared.


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[Assistant] And everyone just kept on going, may have been the funniest moment on Air and Land yet. Wow. Air and Land. That was a good episode. Doing some jokes.


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[Assistant] Over in Arran land. Uh, LO, Nate thinks the phrase is Dimes worth and it means 10 cents worth of whatever substance we're talking about. He then goes on to say, I'm putting a full five bucks worth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's dime sized Nate, meaning about the size of a dime. Gosh, I love this podcast. Fan for life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, uh, yeaah. I'm putting a five, full five bucks worth. I don't really.


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[Assistant] Dusty did a fantastic job at the Palm, uh, Palm Beach Improv this weekend, but I was at the show where audience members kept interrupting with a yee yee. Oh, I forgot all about yee yee. Yeah. Oh man. What a wild show. It's been a while since you guys shared any tidbits about how the sausage is made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So could you share some experiences with Outburst from the audience and how you choose to handle them? Dusty, you incorporated it really well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I felt bad for the flow of your jokes because it kept happening before your punch line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had a great time. You got a new merch, EE. EE. EE guy.


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[Assistant] Trent McNeely. There are a million of these Eminem stories out there because everyone thought there was only one bag that had only one color.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I enjoyed it. So we've seen adults near playground, expect them that they're starting like a candy.


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[Assistant] Uh, now the problem with the contest is they've gotten too, it's like they have them, but it's like you're scanning phones or they want your email. It's enough that you're like, I'm not doing it. You want it to be as simple as that. And then I'll play your game.


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[Assistant] Well yeaah, I think I would have come in at 15 or something. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. That's like, you know, someone won that billion dollars, the lottery, and I saw, I read that it's like they get 400 million after taxes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is crazy. That's like, you would, I mean, you're, and it's like, I won 400 million. You're like, you got, you obviously got to be happy because it's crazy, but you're just like, you're, you're like, but I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy to see that number just drop. It's 1.2 billion dollars and you get 400.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] $433 million is what you get to walk away with. That's insane. That's wild. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, I thought, I didn't know it was the government. I thought it was, I saw the same thing. I just thought, I pictured some gas station going out of business and you're like, are you kidding me? And then they can't write you a $10 million every month and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's insane. But that's, that's what's crazy. You have to live.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to get, you need it to get to 1.2 billion to even.


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[Assistant] Get to $430 million. Like you gotta get it way up.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but then your life can be ruined if you, if, if you don't, if you don't go pay it, it's like. Yeah, you're done. You're done. And it's over and you're, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, say, tear up the thing. One knows you're like, not even worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd imagine if you went 430 million, you'd be alright.


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[Assistant] I mean- Even if you're like, I always think if you got 430 million, you're like, someone's like, here's 100 million.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, what's hard is, yeaah, yeaah. That, and then the, uh, cause you gotta, you gotta get like a financial guy, but you gotta get one that you trust, one that knows how to handle that kind of money, cause you probably go to your local guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're just like, you got more money than your local bank has.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but then you gotta tell them. Cause then they have the money.


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[Assistant] Quick, yeah, quick note about yea or nay and a or nay. I'm pretty sure when the votes are tallied or they vote by walking up and putting their vote in, it's yea or nay. If it's a vocal vote, they have their name called and shout out a or nay. A or nay. I. I. Oh.


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[Assistant] Aye or nay? Yeah. I looked this up. That's true. This, the Senate- God, how stupid do you feel? I, this is why I would be so, and Nay Bargetzi, aye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'd be high-fiving. Boom. And there you go. We got, uh, four eyes, a hundred nays and one ayah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then you might think, there's a 450 acre swampland in Kentucky along the Ohio River, which is where the plane crashes in the movie. Axe Lake Swamp Snape. Snape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Axe Lake Swamp State Nature Preserve. It's part of a project to protect 3,000 acres of swamp land in Kentucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there is a swamp. I would imagine you should point that out maybe more. Maybe they did and I didn't pay attention. That's a mouthful of a name though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Filming of the swamp scene in U.S. Marshals took place in Obeon County.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I mean, if alligator's not there, I don't. You don't consider it a real swamp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright. Summer nights are here!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So get outside in your swamp and enjoy your solo stove. Your solo stove would be good to take if you got lost in a swamp. Take a camp into the lake or have your neighbors over for s'mores and a nice hang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Small sizes or larger sizes. The solo stove is the best fire pit I've ever seen. Not, uh, again, I always say not to smell like a campfire is, uh, my favorite. Usually after a bonfire you have to shower off the smell and not with solo stove.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No setup, unbox and enjoy a little firestarter wood and you can have a nice fire quickly. We have the bonfire version with the stand. It burns down to white ash so clean up is super easy. Solar stove fire bits are brilliantly engineered, made with premium grade 304 stainless steel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a 360 degree airflow system. How, I mean, how do they make that smoke go away? That's what's crazy. It just doesn't blow on you and you smell like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's everything. That's such a big thing. That's the main thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So go try it out with your Solo Stove. Right now you can get big discounts on all fire pits during Solo Stove summer sale and use promo code Nate at Solo Stove dot com for an extra ten dollars off. That is Solo Stove dot com promo code Nate for ten dollars off on top of their incredible summer sale discounts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody has this car at home, but no one has this car at home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he more famous from the card than baseball? I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was a great player. He was? Yeaah. Like he was like an all-star like. He was a Hall of Famer. Hall of Famer. Yeaah. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Better than Honus? Uh, they're all good names. Babe Ruth, good name. Uh, what was Babe Ruth's real name? Uh, George Herman. Yeah, Babe Ruth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you say Honus, all you think about is Wagner. Yeaah, he's the only one. He's the only one. The Flying Dutchman, that was his nickname.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you, what'd you do, you waited? You had to watch and wait? The HOA? No, the trash. Oh, I called him. Oh, oh, oh, I thought you were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well now they get out, cause you don't, you gotta, you gotta put it, like, you know, like ours is a cul-de-sac, so you always, like, it's like, I'm trying to put it in the best way. I'll watch them just to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I get it where it's easy for them to get? But it's a lot of being, being backing up and trying to grab it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I mean, cul-de-sacs, they get to be out of the vehicle I think now enough that it's a super annoying. Like it's, if it doesn't, if you can't get it, you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would they have a caboose? Yeah, I remember, I remember waiting, I think I remember cabooses going away because I remember seeing them and you wait for them and then you start waiting and you're like, I didn't see one that time. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wouldn't just the last one be the caboose? Yea, but it's like a freight train. Like you want it to be, I think there's still caboose. Like they have to let you know when it's over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Look up, are there still cabooses? I think there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there still could be cabooses. I think you don't have to have a caboose now, but I think, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think trains are, I think trains are getting more popular. Really? Well, you got to think you're going to use it if, you know, they're having trains now, they want you to use public transportation and all that stuff. It's going to be like in that aspect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like truck, trucks are going like crazy cause there's so much stuff that has to be on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if it's Sinner though, that's like on the company, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it's like one, you just see like the, like back half of the guys running away and you're like, we didn't even get a chance to get him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's not good. Like, you didn't think about doing that. These are all mint conditions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I pulled a few out just to- So they have been taking it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't have a hollowness wagon. Abigail got these beanie babies. I remember when that became a big thing and my parents would buy, they thought


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think like the idea of like collecting, I like the idea of collecting stuff. I guess it's, I see the idea of it. It's fun. When I was a kid trading baseball cards, it's like, that's what it was about. It was about trading the cards and stuff like that. Uh, and I guess I never attached the money to it as much as like I wanted that person for whatever reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so maybe I did do that. I do remember that actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you were trying to get those cards that were, but like how many, how many do I have to give you to get that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't feel like anybody that gets that money is someone that needs that money either.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Like it's, it's, it's a guy that, you know, I mean, it's an investor. It's an investor that's like, we paid 200 grand for it, now it's worth 500 grand and then it's worth this. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I think I would just get, it's like, I don't think it ever stuck with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be worth a lot. How about the September 12th one? That was one that I did buy. You still have it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And I was trying to think, did I buy it because I thought, it's funny to be here now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I, I mean, maybe I thought it could be worse than, but I think I also thought, like, we have kids, like, show em.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, just seeing that newspaper and being like, buying a couple and being like, this is like a headline, like Pearl Harbor. Like we just went, we went to Pearl Harbor and they sell newspaper, you know, they're just replicas of it, replicas of that next day. And it's, it's kind of weird. It's crazy because you want to see it. You want to see what was the other stuff about, what was going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can find. Yeah. Well, that, yeah, that's like the NF, like an NFT or something like that. I mean, I guess that's a new collectible. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, the Kobe thing is, uh, maybe it is if you know it's legit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Legit autograph. Jay Cutler, photo four.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But alright, here we go, right there. Oh, someone's selling the lanyard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a weird, cause I saw him with like, I would see him with like, uh, Sal. Yeah. When we were with impractical jokers. Uh. Well, I was with you one night. We just made that, Laura made that and gave the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Magnet set that we did, we gave that away, we just gave it away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, yeaah, and it's a weird thing. I mean, I remember being with Chris Rocks and a guy was in the lobby with his kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I remember in Sal, McConnell and all them practical joker guys. And I mean, they are just, we go to this restaurant. I was with you on that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. Yeah. Yeah. They were everywhere. Yeah. And then, I mean, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's a weird thing because you don't want to be ever mean to someone. Especially because they can have their kid out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're also like, this guy is just trying to get his autographs and they just play the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like a sad kind of, come on man, like you're not going to, like you would think like, then you make those guys be jerks and you're like, dude, every town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You are coming to this and your, and your reasoning is not, you're, you're, you're trying not to have a job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, so you're coming up with this thing and then you guilt people into, they do the autograph and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the perks are different though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's maybe like, I'm trying to think, would I want this more, I would, I would almost rather have this than a baseball card. Cause this is like something you can read. It's like, you know, it's, it's, it's like something that could be in a museum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I almost think I would rather have history things now than I would...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A baseball card. You know, Honus Wagner's over, uh, that's over a hundred years old. Yeah, no, the Honus Wagner, but it'd be like, it would need to be that. It needs to be, I know everybody knows this card. Everybody knows, like it's that, and it's the card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could see, I mean, I could see one as a barrier, but, uh,


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[Assistant] I guess it's like if you don't get the autograph, or if you don't acquire the thing, then it's like you just bought it. It's like, does that take the special away from it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you're just like, oh so you just had 8 million dollars. Right.


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[Assistant] And it's, you know, now I understand buying this cause it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How else would you have gotten? How else would you have gotten that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you tracked it down, like, so I guess when, when it's history, that's what I mean when it's history, but it's like you're paying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, all this money for Michael Jordan autograph. You're like, well, you just, you just bought it. You just bought it. There's no experience tied in. There's no story tied in with it. This is what a lottery winners buy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I don't know any, but I think when I look at it, I like it on a wall and I think it's nice and I could see looking at it and you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then I also, maybe I could buy it and I'd be like, well that's stupid. And we have art, Laura, Laura, we have art down, I don't know if I look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there's some that you see at like, you know, the starry night or something. Like if you had the original one, it's like, I could see. Cause you could stare at it and I would look, I think you would look at it and be like, I can't believe this is in my house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's the stuff that it would, like, I would buy something for that. I can't believe. Cause it's, I guess it's your journey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe, maybe it's that, it's your journey to acquire a piece like that. Like, so the experience with it is how did I get my, you went from, I could never ever even


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dream of getting this to then you have the original and you're like, now that's in my house. That's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's gotta, it's gotta, you gotta be able to keep that. Once you start collecting stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I can even see it with the watches, like I like them and I, and I like that idea. And then you're like, but am I gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, you almost like, you need one, like one thing has to be tied into it. I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like I could see for myself like being like, alright, if there was a piece of art that I'm like, I want to somehow get this original one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like how do I make it work? Like it's like, I like that challenge of a thing. You know, that's like a fun challenge. Like how do I get to that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do I gotta, I gotta do some pretty crazy things to, I don't know what I gotta do, but I gotta do some crazy things to get that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's ex- that's actually, that might be my thing. What if I tell y'all, can you buy this? This is the screen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But isn't the museum own, the museum doesn't own it, doesn't it use like someone owns it and then they... I think a lot of times someone does donate it, yeaah. Yeaah. So they could take it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if I can, I mean, this, I don't want to, how much, if you want


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no way they spent half a billion dollars on art. It's just worth half a billion. I guess. Yea, I mean- How do you spend a half a billion? Like, how much money could you have? I know, that's what I'm saying. And you spend half a billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On, even if you're worth a billion, I would imagine they would say, how about you don't spend half of it on art. I guess if it's an investment and you're like, well, this will never go down in price.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for it to ever go down in price, there's a point where, well, how much money does someone have to have? You have a billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you don't think it's ever gonna go down. Well you need people to have...


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[Assistant] Like 400 billion for debt. So there's your limited group of who wants to sell it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we told you he raised NASCAR though, would you have believed that? Sounds like it. Cause you know NASCAR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I don't, why would you want the contract? Like I, I, I, the, you telling me that a guy bought it is as exciting as if the guy said, hey, I just bought it, here it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, no, I'm the one that bought it. You're like, Adam, that's ridiculous. You know, okay. Yeah. You're not going to read the contract of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't think athletes have to pay off their salaries. I think it's, I'm almost positive because I've talked to them. Okay. I think they make, it's all off filled is where they make their money. Oh, interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Oh, you know what, I'm thinking, I don't know. Yea, maybe I'm thinking of golf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Golf is, cause is, they make the money and they, agents don't get anything from it. Oh, like they're winnings? No, they're winnings. Oh, okay. But they would get their off the field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do get the idea that you own something that doesn't exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I don't, I've never kept anything under the couch. Even if I didn't want it. So I'm just very confused on why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe 10,000. I think everybody that has a thing, they always go, I saw some there, look, they were worse than mine, but that's what everybody says that, you know, like, I got a card. I've seen one card that went for 10 grand. That guy, his card was garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, you would have to probably put it in a case that has... That showed the light, yeaah, so you can see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most of these are in good condition, but the Kurt Gibson. Imagine if they, if you could have just had TV admitted by when you were a kid, you wouldn't have been so bored.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what was it with the spoons? So they had spoons. Did you have another thing with the spoons?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is a good metaphor. You had spoons, you had silver spoons, they were just under the couch. They weren't, y'all didn't eat from them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if the silver spoons are, you don't want to go see like antique roadhouse. That'd be like a perfect antique roadhouse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Off the grid. You're almost there. If you lived off the grid, you could be like, if someone was like, I don't, they couldn't wrap their head around what you mean, you'd be like borderline homeless. Yeah, right. Or you might be really homeless, but you're, choose it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I would imagine that doesn't seem like that high of a, I mean, if you bought something for 70 million and you're charging 150,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would think, well that's not, you would never be able to get your money back. It seems like it, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. That's another way to get, yeah, like you could think that with collecting stuff to be like, all right, if you're never going to get that one thing, you're like, but how can I make something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what if he said, I mean, he's setting himself up or he could set his kid up. He could set up a family member just to go like, I'll sign it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll sign one for you and you can go sell it, it's the only one. That's so much pressure. It's the only one that I would ever sign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, uh, I bet you could think of like, what would be the next thing? Like what could be something now that's like, just keep it. I've got some stuff on here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, I just watched Red, uh, yeah, Red, I watched the movie Red Notice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they're, they go and they, I think they find something that's like all this stuff that's like a, the Nazi like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't tell me, I haven't seen it yet. Yeah, this one, I watched it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like the idea, like there could, could there be some art, like I guess there's like, could there be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they take, you know, would they have, they destroyed it, but like maybe they knew, like hey, this stuff is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out there, cause it's like how much, cause it is like, our stuff just gets lost. You're like, how's it lost?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Family couldn't afford spoons. They only had to eat cereal with forks. And then they just never knew. One day they finally move out and they go, he goes, I'd say the only thing was this town doesn't sell spoons. Not a lot of spoons around here. Not a lot of spoons around here. And you go, dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe the museum has something to do with, uh, him, like with the Volkswagen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I always think about trying to collect something and I can never figure out what to collect because I don't think I care. Golf balls?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, but I, I just go, then I don't care. Yeaah. And then I, like I- Those golf bags? Weren't you collecting those for a while?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have some of those, but those are just for the, the room. But it's like Jason Day gave me, uh, I got one of his golf bags that he used in the Masters first year. And uh, uh, he finished second. And then Augustin gave me one of his tour bags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be worth something. John Augustine goes off and becomes huge, but he never used it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's, I don't, yeaah, I just try to think like what could I collect and I don't know what I would, I don't know what I want to collect enough that I care about. Like I don't know, I don't know if I appreciate


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's it. I have a hard time appreciating these kind of things. Like cars, I don't really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like those watches, but I don't, then I realized like I'm not appreciating like a person that buys these watches. I like the watches and I like the, but it's like to me, it's more about I wore it on that and that, and it meant for the special, like I have to tie it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like I might be watching something tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's not the, not the, not the, uh, not the poster I would imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, uh, I always thought I had one of those cars, but then I think maybe I just saw one of those. Let's say one of those that maybe I read about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put that in the Dusty Slay Museum. Yeah. I agree with the WCW. I, I, uh, and then that hurt me with wrestling. Once they all combined, I was like, no, I'm really out. Yeah. I could never get into the WCW.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I don't know, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna grab some right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should almost say Starbucks has got a new, they're straw, I mean, you gotta, it's like trying to, uh, hard-boiled egg. It's trying to get the shell off. It just sticks to the, you're just like scraping it and you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like paper straws, so I don't want to use those. And so then they found, they went to this plastic, they've made it worse. You're almost like, just go back to the paper. I mean, and I really don't like paper, because you can't just, it doesn't move off, it like sticks to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think I always would do that. And then, uh, I always look in the hole to make sure nothing's inside of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little glance. Have you ever found anything in there? Uh, I think one, I did one, I don't, maybe not, but then I think I did one time to remind myself, this is why we do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You did it. Do you always use straws? Uh, no. Not sitting down. I don't, I use them, the only time I like them is with coffee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a Starbucks or something. Or a fountain drink. I always use a fountain drink. No, not every time, but I like a nice, I had a nice fountain drink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost like I'll give you, I'm letting you have some, I'm letting you have access, but it doesn't mean you get just all the access. I'm going to draw the line somewhere. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think technology is going to get so crazy that, I mean, it almost would be like if you had an iPod shuffle, it'd be an art piece. I guess that's what it would be more than.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see you have a bunch of these things that someone could come over and touch it and, but it's like I don't think it'd ever be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you'd want to touch it. Like I want to show Harper a Sony Walkman, you know, like I would be like, I'd want her to like press it and like that kind of stuff. So I mean it's hard to keep it in like mint condition.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think for her, she'll be like, she'll probably kinda remember DVDs. Like enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And maybe as a Blu-ray, like there were, like we had, we had a Blu-ray player. We had like, I've had some like Rio or some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those animated shows for her on some of the things, but yeah, like it's never gonna like for her will be like, yeah, I kind of remember DVDs. You know, like I kind of like I remember Atari.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we had an Atari, but it's like, I remember more Sega Genesis than I do Atari, but I think I remember Atari, you know. So I sure remember some DVDs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. That's it. That's it. That's it. All right, everybody. Uh, thank you for listening as always. Uh, I'm trying to think where I'll be this week. I'll be in Wisconsin Dales, maybe somewhere else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wisconsin Dells. And then Vale and all that, neighborfc.com. Check that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] JusticeSlayer.com. Uh, yeaah. As always, thank you guys for listening. Uh, we really appreciate it, as always, and we love you, and we'll see you next week!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi and my wife, Laura, on the All Things Comedy Network.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nateland Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta be real peaceful too with the baby. You need a real, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also felt like that was a boring show though. I feel like that you could get some real sleep down with a movie there too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it did make sense. She turned the electricity off. Yeah, and then I'm like, well, you know, I need it. Yeah. But, I was relating to that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But my wife would, would appreciate it if I kept the electricity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I think that I would like to get into it until I'm out there and then I'm like, man, this is boring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I'm so used to my distractions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, that's how I was too though. I'm like, I like this, but then it just fizzled out. So I'm like, did I really like it that much?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, a show like that, just keep it going, you know? A couple of addicts living in a house with a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the undressed nap is the way to go. Cause if you get undressed and you get in the covers, you're in bed. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that club that you went to is the only club where the owner yelled at me and you said a comic told you that and didn't even, uh, you didn't even bring it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, when, when I'm doing a show, I'm used to like a host feature and then me, right? And then there was like seven people on the show. And so we're doing a showcase. They're doing every topic that you could possibly do. It's long. So I go to the guy and I go, Hey,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think we could maybe use less people on the show? And he's like, this is my club. I'll do what, and he's like, he yelled at me in the bar and then I go sit down and then he comes in the showroom and yells at me while the show's going on.


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[Assistant] But. You're at West Palm Beach? West Palm Beach. And the last time I was there, 2019.


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[Assistant] I hated it. I was like, I never want to come here again. This time complete 180. I was like, now I want to move to West Palm. I mean, it's, it was amazing. So fun.


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[Assistant] I got out in the sun. I got some, I got laid out by the pool. I don't think I got burned, right? But every picture that people took with me, my face is like beat red. I don't know what's happening with the camera and my face, but, uh, I like, um, I got high blood pressure. You go to the beach.


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[Assistant] Fingers stuck. Oh yea, that is true. Out on Dauphin Island, yea.


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[Assistant] My, my nail is still not really healed from that. It's all dented up now.


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[Assistant] Time zones confuse me so much. My management is in LA and they'll sometimes send me, they'll be like, oh, this time Pacific time. And then I'm like, don't even send me those times. Just try to get it to me in central time because I'll miss the meeting. I don't know what's happening. I can't handle a time zone.


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[Assistant] Well, I agree with this guy up until this last sentence. I mean, I'm tracking with him and then we get to the last sentence and I'm like, well, I don't.


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[Assistant] I mean, I think time is all made up. We could just be out here living, but now we've got this thing keeping track of everything we're doing throughout the day.


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[Assistant] We should just be getting up, growing some food, eating, just hanging out, having a good time.


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[Assistant] No meetings. Yeah, I said we gotta get up, we gotta go to work.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you know, I mean, of course, until I'm there and then I'm like, ah, I don't know, maybe I did like a conventional oven.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I don't know much about the sundial, but yeah, I mean, I like the idea of where, uh, yeah, we're, we're, you know, we're tracking things, you know, in a less calculated way.


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[Assistant] Something else. We come up with something else. You know, just so there's no confusion.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but not, not if we were all off the grid. All right. We're having fun.


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[Assistant] Cause he's like, I'm from 1995, and they're like, this guy's a lunatic. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I mean, I do so many shows that that was a blast to me. I was like, I've not, I mean, like I wanted to do yee yee. I can't even do it well. Yee yee. I'm a horse. I feel like, but I used to, I mean, that show was so fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like somebody yelled out yee yee, I had never really heard yee yee before, and I just...


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[Assistant] It felt like every punchline, I could work a yee yee in there and the audience loved it.


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[Assistant] I mean a couple of times I got interrupted, uh, by people yelling it out, but I had a blast.


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[Assistant] Well, after the initial and then a couple people, I mean, there was one time when I was doing a joke and someone interrupted the joke by doing it.


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[Assistant] But it, it worked. I even complimented them on it. I was like, that was a well timed yee yee.


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[Assistant] I mean, it was so fun. It was one of the most fun shows I've had in a long time. I mean.


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[Assistant] I mean, I don't want it to happen all the shows, but yeah, that particular show is like, let's keep this going. I'm into this.


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[Assistant] Well, I said, um, I, you know, I got some jokes about country music and I was like, I'm a big fan of country music. And so people clapped and cheered and then somebody goes, yeah. And I guess that's a country thing that people do.


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[Assistant] I had not heard it. I'm familiar with yeehaw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But not a lot of yee yees. I've never heard yee yee. And so that's what I talked about, how I didn't really, I wasn't really familiar with yee yee. So, and then I just kept bringing it back. And I mean, it was a hit. Alright. I mean, Cole Escher enjoyed the show.


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[Assistant] I was thinking Charlie and the Chocolate Factor, but I don't, I don't. So if you see, uh,


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[Assistant] I don't know. I mean, I don't know the office. That's what you mean, right? I don't know it that way. I watched it.


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[Assistant] Because I was like, I don't want to go through the trouble of ordering the, the, whatever this is. So I'll lose the dollar. And he got the dollar? Yeah. He wanted to, he wanted to do the process.


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[Assistant] Yeah. He gave me $19. That's why. Okay.


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[Assistant] Every time someone wins the lottery, the government wins the lottery.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Plus if you take the payments, then the company's like, listen, we're bankrupt. Okay. We can't, we can't make the payments anymore. That's a big amount though.


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[Assistant] Yeah, imagine getting $400 million and still feeling cheap. You know, it's a hike.


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[Assistant] That's how I would feel. I'd be like, yeah, sure. I'm a millionaire.


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[Assistant] I mean, there was a show, uh, about how the lottery, lottery, people would win the lottery and then it would ruin their lives.


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[Assistant] I mean, like, lots of people have their lives ruined after winning.


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[Assistant] You can't trust anybody anymore all of a sudden and people get into, you know, they become alcoholics and addicts.


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[Assistant] All right. Axe Lake Swamp State. Dang. Nature Preserve.


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[Assistant] I would want you to do that. I mean, that was a good line. If you were reading for that role, I would, I would hire you.


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[Assistant] I always thought a swamp would be like a lot of trees and then there's almost like a moss layer over the water. Dirty water.


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[Assistant] Give me some alligator, some piranhas. I don't know if they're in school. I want piranhas in there. Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that just gives it the real danger feel that you're looking for. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] The smoke is tough though. If you put on like a brush fire on a hot day and the smoke gets on your clothes and then it feels like you can't breathe and like you're having a heat stroke. Yeah. No smoke is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a 90s model Don Russ. What do you think that's going for these days?


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[Assistant] Yeah, a brand of card. I had a whole bunch of them. Bunch of Don Russes. There's Topps. It does seem, I guess Don and then Russ. It does, probably flows together better. Yeah. What I'm saying. Don Russ. Topps is the main one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I had some words with my trash company and I was afraid for a little while. When? Well, not long ago. Yeah. They just were not coming on time.


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[Assistant] You know? I think that was all in Nashville. So, uh, yeah. So I'm like, I was worried for a minute. I was like, I don't know. Like a day, like you told me time like is the day or like the- Yeah, like the day, like they would skip a week. And I'm just like, why? And they're like, well, we'll give you a refund on that week. And I'm like, well, that's, you know, $15. I really just need you to come pick up the trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't need you to just skip the week and be like, we'll give you the money back. They were like, what? There's nothing we can do.


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[Assistant] Like an HOA. I don't know. My HOA doesn't, I don't know what they're doing either. I don't know what kind of services they're bringing us either. I mean, they just drive around the neighborhood going, ah, pay


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, no, that's what I'm saying though. I'm not gonna get into it with that guy. I do love him, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I go confronting him, that love will go away quick or he'll be into a fight out there in the street.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's one trash service that comes to our neighborhood that will pick up with the claw and dump it. And then there's another one where they have to get off the back of the truck and then pull the trash can around to the back and then it'll give it a lift in there.


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[Assistant] I like that. I got caboose on a train. You remember those that used to be a guy out there waving?


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[Assistant] Gone now. They don't even- No cabooses. No, just the end of the train. Wait for that whole thing and you don't even get a reward.


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[Assistant] He took you back to the airport too? I don't remember who took me back.


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[Assistant] I got some NASCAR cards. Uhm, I wonder where you could find, get those graded. I have a, a dick trickle written NASCAR. And that, which I always thought was the funniest name in all of NASCAR.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beanie baby. There was a couple that got divorced. There was a thing on Instagram where they had got divorced and they were like dividing up their...


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[Assistant] It's like while they're doing that, you're like, oh, I know why you're getting divorced. Cause you guys are. This does look like you, right?