[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's what they would say, I'm not saying. Look, obviously I'm in the skin, I'm a fan. But I could...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm starting to like be on the AI side. I mean, I'm about to talk myself into it. Yeah. I think the, I don't know, you know what I don't like is now these computers, I think they're going to listen to this speech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. Passwords, I mean, you don't even remember, like, look at, used to have, right, we have to remember all our passwords. What are your passwords, David? And now they say, just suggest, use a strong password.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People don't even, I don't know my password on a few things. I just use the craziest one I can use and then you just hit it and hope it saves it and if it doesn't you do forget password.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's, I mean, now passwords are gonna, so no one's gonna know. Say, say they take away, forget password. And you can't, you know, you're gonna be like, well, I just picked one that you suggested. And they guys are like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's their first step. That's their first step. That's what they, how do, that's what robots do. They just do that. And they go, these morons, they can't remember these tiny numbers. It's by the way, it's a 40 number. It's like XX dash seven. It's like all this crazy. He goes, these people can't remember basic passwords. Like, and that's what they do. They take away all the passwords. You can't get into your stuff. Think about money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like your money, no one sees their money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't, you don't ever see your money. There's money that I've made that there's not like it's a dollar bill in the bank. I can go, it's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a number on your phone that you're like, no, I have this number on the phone is I want that thing and take, subtract this number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're gonna get a gun, just some guy's gonna be like, what's your Venmo? And you're like, I don't even really know, man. I don't use it that much. I don't know, you know. Mine's a different name. I had to change my name on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when you said that, it's like, why would they, why do they want to do this? But it's like, there's no, it's not, it's just a machine. There's no emotion. It's a machine that's looking at the most efficient way. But it is funny to me, well then why does it need to kill me? It would just be like, well I don't need you anymore. It just, you know, it doesn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why's it didn't go, well I gotta murder this person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, why does it make that leap? Why doesn't it just go, don't let them in the computer, the keyboards don't work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess if you go to unplug it. Yeah, if he thinks you're going to mess with him. Survival mechanism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, uh, this too, it kind of goes with what you're talking about, living longer. But that guy you said, like, there's a high probability that the first person to live to a thousand has already been born.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like you're making them live to a thousand, why not? I guess that's what they think is if I can get you to go to 200, why can't I get you to go


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. But they always sing in the Bible, is it because their time could be different or they counted time different or something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like the ones that lived to 900, is it, you know, that was really only 90 or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Long time. Oh, yeah. So then we could get back to, get back to the basics, get back to, I mean, can you imagine, no, you couldn't say anything then to be like, you think in my lifetime,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I was 200, we couldn't even do, you know, telling them you're 800 years old. When I was 200.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We couldn't, you know, like their experience would be, we lived in houses. We didn't live on the moon. And then people are just like, what? Like that's because you lived in a house on earth. Like that's where I go to the bathroom at now. That's what the earth is at that point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I mean, do you gotta, yeah, I guess you're at the age now, uh, 28. 28? Is that what you are?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, do you get the, I like being my age. You keep all the other stuff. I'm just physically, physically what age would you want to be? I mean, I'm honestly, maybe the best looking I've been is now. Like, I mean, I was, I was a mess when I was 20. I always get people, they see my videos, they're always like, oh, what happened?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're the only person that looks better as you got older. I mean, I might be picking right now. It might be my best time. Uh, yeah. I mean, I bet I could see twenties. I like your twenties are good. I think nothing hurts in your twenties. Nothing. You have no pain. You have no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, so you get a nice 25. You could dunk that tennis ball again. Huh? You could dunk that tennis ball again. I dunked the tennis ball when I was in high school. It was 5'9 at the time and uh, I could jump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could jump. Uh, speaking of which, will we be able to jump higher? And will people breathe underwater? Uh, will some people breathe underwater, some of us? All right. Okay. Uh, speaking of that you're traveling the outer space, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the 250 grand for six minutes of that. And now you're going to go to space, you're going to see everything from a different thing, but the 250 grand is a ton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's going to be obviously for the super, super wealthy people, like to go to just, you can be like, yeah, I want to go do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Initially. Initially. And then initially that price will go down. And it's going to be less and less. I thought like, when are you going to want to go? Like when are you going to be where it's going to be just so routine? I mean, what point


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How far are we from, it's going to look like when you get on a roller coaster at an amusement park and just some teenagers are like, give me your hands and then you go off to the moon and you're like, Hey, could you act like you care? Like I'm a little nervous about this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would, are you gonna feel, you would, I mean, they're like strapped in, like when you do it, you're trapped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they're gonna do, selfies are gonna, that, that should come now, repeat, you should just, to help people experience more stuff, I, I understand the idea of, I get wanting to have the selfie, but it's like, if you can have someone do it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For you, you know, so it's like being like, Hey, just go stay in here. Then it's just a picture. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, they're, uh, also like it says when will we colonize the moon or Mars? Like, so they think we're going to live there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's funny, it's in the Tesla, there's just Tesla floating in space. Yeah. I mean, that's the kind of stuff that robots are gonna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the honestly what your headline would say. These balloons are killing people. And you would have clicked, dude. You would have clicked. Well, most people wouldn't. And then I clicked the article and you go, some balloons fell in the lake. We were actually looking for a guy that drowned outside of that. But there was a lot of balloons in the lake and I noticed the balloons in the lake. So truly they didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if it's going and people are doing it, yes, I think, yeah, do you think I will go to space? You? Yeah. I do. You do. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's changed my views on it to add some weird. And so I get nervous with stuff like that, but I, if that's not a problem is feeling like that, I will want to go. I would try to, I would try to, I'm not saying I'm throwing this, there's money, I have money down, but I would definitely like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Me keeping an eye on it and I would go and want to do it. So, he thinks I will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's your, you love that stuff. You would love to see it. I mean, I love it too. It's space. That is funny. It's not my thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just someone doesn't go, I don't know. You're not gonna see the moon a little closer? I don't know. I can see it good enough down here. It seems like a whole thing. Yeah. Uh, it seems too much. Like how long is the flight? Like six minutes of how long are you weightless? Six minutes. Is that even worth it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I mean, that's, to be, you're like, well, you could do no way this. You're like, yeah, you only did six minutes. It's not like you get it more. You know, if someone comes and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So funny, just Jeff Bezos, just trying to lift a guy. Everybody's, yea, half of their, every time you lift, you go down. You can't, you're like, I can't really get any. I can't push. I don't know how to, you ever try to throw, like you throw like your kid, like in the pool, but you're not, your feet are not touching and you just, you just sink down. Like that's all you're going to be. I mean, how big is too big?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fast forward, get through it, however you get through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you guys for listening as always. You guys have been very nice with the comments and the likes and all the stuff you're supposed to do for, uh, all of this, uh, this stuff to helping us out. And, uh, so enjoy it. Uh, we truly appreciate it and, uh, we love you all. And so we will see you next week. Thanks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I put that up in a poll against folks and it got like beat 96 to four. And then someone messaged like, you can't say natives anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey everybody, welcome to... I don't think that's the issue, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean it was a problem early on and then I changed nothing and then it went away and then I changed nothing again and then last week it came back. So I don't know what to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We talked about that last week. Some guy who works in banking said you should be balancing. Oh really? At least checking your account. He's like, don't just trust the bank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, numerous people said they totally do that. That they make it. Just restaurants in general, pump out smell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, would you uhm, I have a friend who's, she had a moral dilemma about allowing her child, it's kinda like cheating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the same time, the process is so ridiculous. She didn't know she wanted to teach her child that that's okay. Like what would you say for Harper?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was two Winona's. Yeaah, I mean, Winona Jag...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So you texted me and said, well, I texted said, I'm in line. What's everybody want? You said sausage McMuffin meal. Yeah. So I was in McMuffin meal with a diet coke. So I got up to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's funny that that's what you think people will be judging us on though. We're eating McDonald's, period. They're already judging us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this was, so I'm in like, this is like 1230, so it's prime lunchtime. There's a lot of cars behind me. And I said, I want a sausage McMuffin, Diet Coke for you. And then I said, uh, Big Mac meal, uh, Dr. Pepper for me. And then he said, no breakfast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't have breakfast. So then I texted you real fast. Hey, they don't have breakfast. And you got back to me really fast, but I was panicking. So I said, all right, just give him a Big Mac meal too with Diet Coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he had it right the first time. All I had to do was say no onions. But it was the mill number. That's what threw me out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do they know, I almost asked that guy, but we'd already been through enough today. When there's multiple lanes and they merge into one, how do they know how to keep the orders right? I don't know. I've always wondered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and that's, and that's, and that's what happens. You've got to joke about it, but in the South, this is happening. A lot of people will just wave you on through. And I keep thinking it's going to mess things up, but it never does.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because I used to live off Donaldson Pike, like where you live now, and there's just, it's murderers row of fast food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The average American spends $1,200 a year on fast food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every single day, almost 1% of the global population eats a McDonald's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That translates to 69 million people every, uh, every day. 75 burgers are sold every second on average.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world's largest toy distributor is McDonald's thanks to their Happy Meals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me finish the Happy Meal. Uh, the world's largest toy distributor is McDonald's thanks to their Happy Meal. You don't even have to hold that. I'm being a little funny for a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The world's largest toy distributor is McDonald's thanks to their Happy Meals. And since transitioning to include more books rather than toys,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] McDonald's has sold more books to kids as part of Happy Meals that are housed in the Library of Congress. It's kind of a loose they sold more books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Based on that average, I was going to go below 3000, but I'll, since you're acting like it's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause places like Whataburger, that's more expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so we were talking about McDonald's, uh, drinks, right? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Coliform bacteria commonly found in feces. Microbiologists from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, in 2013, uh, there was a class action lawsuit against Subway because their foot long subs weren't really 12 inches long. You guys know this? I think I heard about this. Yeah, I had not heard about it. They, uh, there was a half million dollar. Well, they had some other stuff to come up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it showed that it was kind of a bogus lawsuit, but they did settle. It was basically 12 inches long, but sometimes it baked differently. Um, who, I mean, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many of these subs did you get? They got, uh, 90 dollars each.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who? Every person that complained? Yeaah. Yeaah. I thought I had that on here. It was something like, they made almost nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] KFC. You know how KFC has the leavened herbs and spices in their secret recipe? That's a real thing. There are two separate plants that create half of the mixture and then a computer does the mixing, ensuring that no single location has the full recipe. Wow. So they make sure nobody has it all. So they can't give it away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you are anywhere in the continental United States, you are never more than 115 miles away from a McDonald's. Wow. And they're never more from Five Spiders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's only one place where it's even that far. That's in South Dakota. The rest, if it wasn't for that place, we'd be less than a hundred miles at all times. Uh, you're never more than 115 miles away from McDonald's in the continental US. And the only place that is more than a hundred miles away is an empty plane in South Dakota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's one place in South Dakota you're 115 miles away. If it wasn't for that one, you'd be less than a hundred miles from anywhere in the US.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we saw it separately, but we talked about it and Michael Keaton plays it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was surprised that there's not, I would have just guessed McDonald's had the most locations in the world, but they're second. Anybody guess first?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, what is the most? Yeah, like I would have guessed McDonald's had by far the most locations, but they're second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Subway has 42,600 locations. McDonald's has 38,695.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Subway's menu has nearly 38 million total possible combinations. That's crazy. Subway's menu? Yea, yea. I don't know how to come up with that. That's a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Denny's is open 24-7. They finally decided to close for a day in 1988 to give employees a day off, but they had no locks on the doors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they'd never closed, so they had to hire locksmiths to come in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Install locks on all their buildings. Wow. Wait, so they tried to, they, they closed just one day? Uh, said to give the employees a day off, so I assumed just one day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to the book Fast Food Nation, 96% of children worldwide recognize Ronald McDonald, making him the most recognizable fictional character in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They also said 88% of people recognized the golden arches of McDonald's while only 54% recognized the Christian cross. I would think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you want another fun fact? Uh, yep. Uh, 2014 ad by Arby's. You guys eat at Arby's? Yeah. You know Arby's got a name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So someone did, someone photoshopped that sandwich? So they did, just to advertise and then people kept asking for it so they had to put it on the menu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did a, uh, a poll of every state in the country what the most popular fast food restaurant was during the quarantine. And it's not McDonald's. You want to guess for like Tennessee at least?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fast food in Tennessee? Jack in the box? Uh, during the quarantine. That's a good guess, but this is during the quarantine. So it's not all the time, but I guess in this summer we did it. Sonic? Good guess. That's right. Sonic. Look at that map.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the most popular fast food items, probably what you'd think, number one. Anybody want to guess?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just an individual item. Just the fries? Yep. The fries? For girls, fries number one, Big Mac number two, Happy Meal number three, then KFC, Original Recipe Chicken, Subway, Italian BMT, The Whoppers number eight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do I have time for this? Yeah, yeah, it's at 3.30. Okay. Uh, Rashik Zahe created a new site called MacBroken.com, which provides a map of McDonald's locations and little dots that indicate if their ice cream machines are working or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It tries to order an ice cream sundae online every 30 minutes and changes the color of the dot based on whether it's marked as available or unavailable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He currently places an order worth $18,752 every minute at every McDonald's in the US to figure out which one have broken ice cream machines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's when all this stuff breaks. But McDonald's said they like this, they know they have this reputation, and they're working on trying to improve it, but they encourage this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one out by Old Hickory in Hermanage was always broken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there's a bunch more on here, but, uh, oh, uh, just read through some real quick. Okay. I just saw one and I just lost it. Oh, uh, Steph, the impossible burger. You guys had impossible burger?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, it was created by a Stanford biochemistry professor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were, uh, took us 18 months to bat, to call him another guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wanted to figure it out, so they created this company in 2011. Now a lot of restaurants are putting it in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's iced coffee with Starbucks iced coffee lawsuit. Oh really? Customers were complaining that they weren't getting their full, uh, 24 ounce iced coffee because of the ice in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They took it to court and the judge said if a child can figure out that when you put ice in a drink, you're not going to get the same amount of ounce. You should be able to reasonably know you're not going to get the same amount. So he said it's frivolous lawsuit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are we doing here? A pizza hut pizza was delivered to International Space Station and they had to add extra salt and spices because you lose sensitivity in your taste buds in outer space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they sent, how'd they send it up there? Just. It was in 2001. So maybe we had the space shuttle then. I don't know. Elon Musk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is correct. And then it became popular, so it stayed on the menu. I'm a huge filet of fish. Really? Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pharrell Williams auctioned off his, or sold his hat on eBay to raise money for charity and Arby's bought it for $44,000 because it looks like their Arby's hat. Oh, interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, in Southern California, when it rains, Subway will give you a free six-inch sub or hot soup. If you purchase a foot long sub and drink, it's called the rainy day special, I guess, cause it never rains there. Where? In Southern California. Oh, really? Yeah. That's funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fake. She, she planted it herself. Was it a real finger? Yeah. She had her husband's coworker cut his finger off or something at the factory, like accidentally. Yeah. And then they bought it from him and said, Hey, I mean, I like to think they've been


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm as Amy's tonight, but that probably didn't help with this. Uh, you want to have Laura on the show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember you telling me this on the road because you, what was that documentary about Jay-Z?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But somebody, yeaah, somebody commented, Nate, what happened to you? You used to dress like a bob and now you dress so stylish. They want to know the story behind it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think for me it was when I was with you in Orlando, when we went to Wild Florida, the, they were fans of yours. Yeah, Wild Florida.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we took it out, air boats out, salt, alligators, and then they brought us back and we got to feed an alligator. We both got to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I and E can sound the same. Yours should be P-A-N-G. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we went to the Nashville Zoo once and, uh, there's a bird exhibit that you go in and they land on you and they tell you, you know, the birds will come land on you. And it was a Brad Hennelider and one of them started pecking on his neck and it started, no his ear and it started bleeding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's how you pronounce it, Elizabeth-town? Yeah. I never knew it. I never knew it was that or Elizabethan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know the one in Tennessee, that's how you pronounce it. How do you pronounce it? Elizabeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Elizabethan spelled differently. Okay. And there we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a W, there's a W missing, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Elizabeth is spelled the same, but it's pronounced differently. I know, because it's, because it's T-O-N at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't pronounce T-O-N and T-O-W-N the same. But you would spell, you would pronounce Elizabeth differently even though it's spelled the same. Elizabeth town. Elizabeth tongue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know the crazy thing is, I've seen this video, he doesn't even skate, get out and he takes it off. He just hangs out there. I still don't think he can get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And let me just say, I looked up every list I saw was a little bit different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but most of them, most of them had number one as number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How is, uh, how's, uh, how's Gorilla not on this? It's better not knowing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the flood happened here in Nashville in 2010, Aubrey Mills got flooded, Aubrey Mills Mall, and there was a rumor that Piranha got loose from the aquarium and were swimming around in the mall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good that it can cause respiratory failure within 10 minutes of death within 30.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are you going to bring it home? Did you bring something to put in? No. You're going to have to put it underneath your shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that was the, the Jolton was the first signing and then another one was Hunter's Lane off Dickerson Pike. I almost went to Hunter's Lane. 10 miles north of Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last, alright, let's do this last run. No, it's Tasmanian Devil is the one I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the article said that it helps the ecosystem because they had a purpose and they would need to bring them back to help the environment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was interesting the re the ways they had for bringing them back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of them are DNA stuff. One of them was just breeding two hairy elephants again and again and again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have to handle the comments, so I'm just clarifying folks, I'm you. No, that's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drums, guitar, piano. So if he wrote the lyrics, you could put the music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy was not photogenic, so therefore he had a lot of free time to memorize, uh, prices and he kept it like a spreadsheet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and he just memorized them all and then he caused a lot of trouble for them. He wasn't doing anything illegally, uhm, just was too good at his job basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, but I mean the, so the final thing is, he's not even up there, but another guy is doing the showcase showdown and he yells out the exact right amount. It's like 20 something thousand. He's figured it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy nails it. And I feel bad because the woman that he was competing against, she came within 400 and something dollars of getting hers right. Hers was $30,000. That's an incredible bid and she knew she probably had it and then this guy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you don't think it's a rich poor thing on price right? You think celebrities, like they have celebrity who wants to be a millionaire, or family fee, you think celebrities would do just as well on prices right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if the cheapest. I don't think I notice it until it gets below like $2, cause now sometimes...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 80 cents cheaper. I don't think that's price ga- like why wouldn't you just go to those other places? I think price gouging is when you have no other choice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a scene in Rain Man where he asks Dustin Hoffman how much a candy bar is. I think the doctor asked and he says about $100. Yeah. Tom Cruise probably didn't even get why that was funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It fluctuates, uh, let's pull it up here. 150 billion? Well. Close.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couple days ago it was at 196 billion, that's what they had as net worth, now it has 181, I think it's based on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's, who's Bernard? Alright, let's find out. So I think we all know the other three here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So these guys are all, I mean the top three are over a hundred billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kroger just announced that they're not giving you change back anymore. Really? Yeah, they don't have it. Like the federal reserves, unless you go through self checkout, which makes me think they just won't, it's a way to get you to go through self checkout. Well, they don't want COVID I would think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In 2019, he was, his, if he were alive, his net worth would have been equivalent to 59 billion. So look at this list of who else he'd be right up there with. Uh, Michael Bloomberg's currently worth 60 billion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, this is a 2010 study by Princeton University, basically said... Who's doing these studies? I'll go down to the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He killed a bunch of, uh, fast food workers here in Nashville area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is real. And then some employees up in Clarksville. So then one of the workers at McDonald's played dead and he lived. So he, he testified to the guy and they arrested him. And when he went through night court for the first time, we finally seen this guy, he's wearing a Volstate shirt. Really? And you know, Volstate must've just been like, Oh no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like, I feel like three different fast food murders. That's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He went to court about this. He was having another contestant and his wife cough whenever he would read the answers out loud like he's trying to decide and then they would cough whenever he would say the right answer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Play the game. The other person tried. They do the fastest finger at the beginning to try to get up there and the other guy just didn't make it. And maybe they had a deal where this guy, if he didn't get up there, he would help him. Can you hear the call? Yea, a little bit here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in the trial, the guy's defense was, I've had allergies and hay fever my whole life, so I've just always been a big coffer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I immediately get in a good mood. Uh, we are sitting here this week, uh, Aaron Weber, Brian Bates, uh, and we have a guest that's going to be with us the rest of the, uh, the rest of this month, staying at my house. Nick Novicki, stand up comedian. He, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nick, this is the, this is the rest of the tour for the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the one night only tour is us right here. You will see, this is the show you will see. We had Justin Smith, part of the first ones, uh, unbelievable. Justin did awesome. If you don't know Justin, check out Justin Smith comedy on all social medias. I think we've posted stuff, uh, with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can post it on the Nightland too, just so you guys know. Uh, very funny and great. Jess will be back out with us, uh, probably back on the regular tour, hopefully.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we had a good rotation, I felt like it was a good, that's what I was telling Justin, with us, I felt like it was a good group, a good mix, we had a fun time, fun hang, and we performed it in Chicago, the Now Arena, first show at the Now Arena. We were.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the parking lot. Wow. Something else. What is the now arena? First show near the now arena. Uh, it's in, uh, Hoffman Estates. There's a, uh, G league basketball team plays in that arena. We played basketball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like 10,000 seats. Yea, it's huge. It's big. And then, so we could go in the arena and shower and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we, we did the parking lot in the, in the, in the show in the parking lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, uh, one of the best shows I've ever done. All these shows have been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're way more fun than you think. And then you expect, and it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just fills, we're doing these, so if you don't know, we're on the drive, or driving, uh, movie theater tour. One night only. Tickets are on my website. Uh, we got a few cities coming up. Uh, this week we go to Cleveland and then Charlotte.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, a little bunch of places, uh, Texas, I mean, a whole little final run. And so it's, we're doing it cause of COVID and, uh, it's, you know, we didn't know what to expect doing these shows, but they were unbelievable. I think it's, you feel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The love and the fact that like people just want to do something. You know, it's like doing these shows, we've done shows at Zany's now since COVID would be half capacity and you can feel the crowd. It just feels better than normal. Cause I mean, people appreciate the fact that we're even out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it feels like that in Chicago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 500 cars, I mean, you couldn't even see the last row. And, and you couldn't see any of, I mean, back half where you couldn't see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would haunt for laughs. So instead of laughing, they haunt. And it sounds...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, here we go. Sorry, sorry this story is boring. Uh, it's uh, Lucy is just going, is you almost done? We just started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, we, uh, they would honk instead of laughing. And at first, if you had told me they're going to honk for laughs, I would have probably said, I don't even want to go do this tour. And it's, you know what? It's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you just learn to, you know, you get some random honks here and there, you kind of just talk over them, you kind of learn to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't acknowledge every honk and you shouldn't in the fact that it's just for your timing wise. And so it was, uh, when I walked out, man, I mean, it was like 500 cars flashing lights and honking at you. I mean, it's, it's something else, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like everybody is, I've seen a lot of social media stuff and posts and it's that same way. The reason I wanted to do this tour is the reason they're at these shows going, we just want to do something in this weird time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're going to look back on this hopefully and, you know, be back to normal and then


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just be like, man, remember we went to a drive-in show? You know, I think you look at in 20 years, if you're telling somebody like that we had drive-in movie theater comedy shows and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone's like, oh, I would like to see that. I was there. I went to it. You know, that's the reason you're doing it. It's cause you're going to be later on going, I was there. It was, you know, it was not that good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, we thank you for everybody that's come out. It's been awesome and we've enjoyed it. And, uh, uh, this is it. You see this group now and go follow Justin Smith and then move on to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And your, how'd your special go? You taped a, Aaron taped a special? It went well, man. Yeah, thanks. Alright. Is it video special and everything? It's mostly just audio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, apparently we shine in the fillers, not the real ones, but, uh, so we got it. We got a bunch of comments today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right, uh, we're going to start off comments through YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, Apple podcast reviews and naiteland at natebargetzi.com if you want to send something in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First one up, Kent Scroggins. My wife just gave birth to our son earlier this afternoon. We are sitting in the hospital room. Mom and baby are sleeping and I am generally trying to hold back the laughs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anytime our son wakes up, I say, hello folks, and wave his hand like baits. Thank you guys for what you do. This sleepless night is so much better by listening to y'all. Hello folks. That's what's weird. Which mine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll show you, we got, uh, Kevin Bester, buddy Kevin, came down to my show in Nashville, saw him, uh, he came up with, hello folks, got a great shirt. Yeah, I got it on. You're wearing it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He also made, uh, us some jerseys, uh, which was cool. I meant to show these last week. Uh, Nate Land Podcast 41. I didn't really realize that. That's how old I am. Uh, so this is for our softball team when we get together. Oh, those are so cool. Uh, and then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Aaron, secret genius. So Nick, Nick's not a fan of the podcast. This is his first time listening. Uh, it's him on it, but, uh, Aaron, we are convinced is, uh, like, uh, like an Albert Einstein type. And then he just plays down and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's so, yeaah. I was like, I bet I know what it is. Yeaah. Oh, I wonder what this is. Uh, alright, Alex Kamek.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kamek. Alex Kamek. I have watched the episode three times now. I'm physically weak from cackling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The debates of the pronunciations of penguin and penguin and wooly and wooly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's wo- uh, wo- woolly mammoth? Or w- what do you say, woolly mammoth? Woolly. Woolly. Woolly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, height from which a squirrel can survive a fall, the correct way to introduce your family dog and why animals should or should not be extinct are infinitely more informative and coherent than the Dusterfire televised last night. Just a tremendous episode. Tremendous!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess he's talking about the debates because that came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Either one. Are the playoffs. Uh, get a lot of stuff. Uh, Isaac, that was very nice Alex, thank you. Uh, uh, Isaac Chasman, three middle-aged men getting together and talking about animals for an hour and a half. This conversation should not have been recorded or filmed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fair, fair argument. Isaac could say the same thing to you for listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not middle-aged. He's not middle-aged. I don't think I, I mean, middle-aged, what has been a 40, 50, 40 probably. I think probably over 40. Life capacity, uh, life expectancy is, uh, capacity. Is that it? Life capacity. Uh, your life capacity is what? 78.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it? Uh, 68. That's 10 out of 40. Uh, 39. That's right. I'm not bad at math. I just was on the spot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you have one good friend that's up and one good friend that's down. It's going to be down. Uh, all right. We're doing Bates is falling. That's all right. You're doing good. You're, I mean, you're about to retire anyway. Uh, I think I am retired.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hamlin, Hamlin Kaplan, listen each week from the UK. Love the show. I admire the fact that in a world of fake news, this show avoids being fact-checked by having no worthwhile information discussed. That's pretty great. That is, we talk about nothing that they go, y'all want to fact-check this? And they go, do we, does it matter?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had this morning, I was talking and, uh, someone was like, I love, cause I was telling him, I'm going to talk about pirates, or we're, we're, we're going to talk about today, pirates. And, uh, he goes, I love that, like after all that's going on and you're going to talk about pirates. But I said, I think it's, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, there's part of you that you do think, oh, we're supposed to get some real opinion, you know, we need to talk about some real life stuff, but I think it's actually pretty hard not to. It's hard to stick this course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think this way is important. That's why I stick with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's important, there's just, there's too much, what do you need my opinion for? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my philosophy is they tell you go vote or don't go vote. Do whatever you want. Write it in. Don't write it in. I don't, who cares? You're an adult. You're smarter than me. Figure it out. Uh, and that's the message of this podcast is figure it out. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did say, I would love to do a comedy, you know they did that celebrity video with, uh, Imagine and all the celebrities did all that. Just have a bunch of comedians go and vote, or don't vote, or vote for whoever wants to. Do whatever you, you know, cause everything's like, they're mad if you're not doing stuff. You don't vote for this, your vote doesn't, you know, count and stuff and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do whatever you want, man. Do whatever you want. Vote. Don't vote. Don't tell anybody. Tell everybody you're allowed to do all that stuff. You're an adult. Everybody's smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Tyler Johnson, my wife and I were able to catch a tour in Louisville before the pandemic shut down. When the podcast debuted, I told her about it and that the other guy open for Nate that night is also a host on the show. Host is a little loose. Uh, she said, oh, that precious old guy, he tried so hard that night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, Nate's dad was on the last episode about magic, but he's not a regular host. Then she said, no, I know his dad. He was great. The other guy that was introduced that introduced his dad. And it was then I realized she was talking about baromatic pressure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love the podcast. Keep up the awesome work. Is it barometric the right way? No. Barometric. Barometric.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so funny. Would've been. Oh, that precious old guy tried so hard that night, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the, your comedy, that's how I would, you know. I thought I had a good set that night. I think you had a really good set that night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, David Leonard, when Nate said horror house, I could hear braces sweating through my podcast because we all heard what he heard too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Horror house. Oh, I get what you heard. Uh, braces might be up there as my new favorite. That's a, that's a, it's easy for me to say braces is a very funny name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah. The worried face is the greatest thing. Michael Breed. I wonder if this is the Michael Breed. He does a golf, uh, professional golf coach. His name is Michael Breed. I would love it if it's, it's either way. I'll take lessons from whoever this guy is in regards to the pronunciation of penguin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron absolutely had it wrong. I heard that and was so glad you called him out. Finally. Finally standing up to the bully of Aaron. Was starting to think maybe I'd been pronouncing it wrong all this time, but turns out...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we got rid of those comments. Uh, well, we deleted them. So how do you say it? Penguin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Uh. Proper nouns aren't words apparently. Dwarf and dwindle. Uh. Duacula.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, uh, misguiding son. Aaron definitely got the pronunciation right. Nate and Buford have old man ears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never heard someone say penguin in my whole life. That's how I said it. You go back from the way I said penguin boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, everybody said it. That guy's misguided. Uh, his name was misguided son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Adam Miller, y'all pronounce it incorrectly. First syllable is pin, like the writing tool. The second is gwen. Pronounce gwen. Pin gwen. Pin gwen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Penguin. That's what they say, a penguin? Penguin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to the penguins. That sounds like at the zoo. They would go, welcome to the penguins. And you're going, and it's the guy going, you're all saying it wrong. I say it right. And then everybody's annoyed at that guy. And that guy gets fired eventually because people don't care for it. We just went to the Columbus zoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Columbus, Ohio, one of the best teams in the world. Thank you, uh, Brandon. Uh, I met some friends of mine out there that we've met through Jason Day's golf tournament.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, we, so we got it, they got a little behind the scenes tour at Columbus and it was unbelievable. Well, what did the girl get mad? Uh, one girl was like, that's, uh, what was the animal that she was like, that's not right. Oh, oh, awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, yeah, it's a bird, it's how it would kill a lizard. It grabs it and then throws it on the rock and then kills it. Pretty, it was actually very fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was a awesome, awesome day. Uh, Justice Smith rode a camel, which was fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Kate Westa, hi. My boyfriend and I are huge fans of the podcast. We look forward to Wednesdays now. I'm a teacher's aide and we were talking about Houdini with the class and they asked how he died and because of your magic episode, I knew it on the spot. Keep doing what you're doing. That's awesome. See? We learn stuff awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very kind of useless information. That's what I think I want people to learn. It's like dumb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The DW thing, you know, that's a good one. We didn't give them all of them, but, you know, just make it three, everybody. If you're listening at home, go. You know, there's only three words in the. Three words in one name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] CMH, rehome and fees are generally to make sure someone is willing to spend money on the dog to ensure they would be willing to part with money down the road to properly care for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're just saying, that's like charging a dollar for a show or five, you know, when we do comedy shows, you'd be like, charge at least five bucks just to keep a homeless person from yelling at you during the show. Like, you know, and that's what they're doing dogs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, re-homing fees. But I like that too is like, unless they're over capacity, then it's like, then we don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that's like some mask, like wearing mask stuff where you're like, that seems, you know, it's like wear your mask to the table, then just eat at the table and do whatever you want. Uh, like it's all like a rule. It's like, well, we do, we try to do it. I like that. So everything, everything's like, you try to be right and normal and do things correct. And then you just do whatever you got to do. Jordan Chamberlain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wilt Chamberlain. There you go. Yeah, Jordan Chamberlain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the Jordan threw me off. Uh, regarding the use of the term rehoming, it might not be a bad idea to keep the concept in the back of your mind. Should you ever need to get rid of Birkenstock, saying we relive re-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Saying we relived him sounds much nicer than we fired him. All jokes aside...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys are all great and this show is unbelievable. Uh, yeaah. Relieved him. We relieved him. Relived him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, we relieved him. That's what we're going to eventually say when Bates is gone. And maybe you're in Nick, you're trying, you're, you're doing a little bit more than you think you're doing. Oh boy, this is audition. I'm like, all right, next week, Nick, why don't you sit at a computer and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, why is that necessary? Just to give a little Bean Dip some credit for everybody at home. Bean Dip picks these comments. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little good sense, maybe you're at home and you're like, ah, we're having fun. He's got a good sense of humor in the fact that he's picking some comments that he could easily not pick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I put the good in the bad. He puts the good in the bad. He's unbiased. You can make fun of whoever you want. It goes in. Unless it's me, then I make sure it's out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't see these comments till now. Uh. Clearly. Yeah. As you can tell. Well, at least I'm not going, I read all these multiple times last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brent Chandler. It's great when Nate gets into some reading trouble, then turns to Bridal Shower as his linguist ventriloquist dummy, but never lets him finish reading a sentence. That's my, yeah. Linguistic. Linguistic. Linguist. That's what I said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Linguist of ventriloquist. That's a lot of, he did that on purpose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, look who's here. Nicholas Butcher.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nicole's butcher here. I don't condone what she said. I'm only a butcher. And I thought it was weird. She wanted me to post on YouTube. Is this how you heck want a pandemic? So here's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know what happened because I saw this name. You put E instead of A. Yes. So that's, that's, that's partially on me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] C-O-L-E-S is how it's spelled. N-I-C-O-L-E-S is how it's spelled. I misspelled it. Nicholas is N-I-C-H-O-L-A-S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, I love Nicole's bitcher, uh, uh, butcher. I love, I love the idea of that. Hello, Nicole's butcher here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So you got, you got a great moment out of it. Yeah. Uh, so that's good. Uh, Nicole's and I liked that Nicole's butcher responded back, you know, how you doing? Here I am. I don't condone it. She said I'm only a butcher. I don't know why she's making me post on this YouTube stuff anyway. Hey, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Dib Monster, the amount of abuse Beverly takes from Nate is impressive. Every week I'm curious to see if he's had enough and quit the show, but he's always there ready to take more abuse like a champ. Love the podcast, keep up the great work. He's always here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He gets no more abuse off camera than he does off camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beverly? Beverly's a great, a great woman's comedy name. Very funny name. Dennis is in my other, I love a, I love Dennis. If you're ever writing something you need a good name, Beverly's a great name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just very funny. Beverly. Beverly. That you can really get on it. Beverly. Dennis is, is, is not that. It's like a hard consonant, huh? I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but Dennis, Dennis is a great, DENIS! Like, you're just mad at Dennis a lot. Dennis Diminis. Beverly, I think is a great, I love the name, the comedy name, Beverly. Have you ever used it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I haven't, I haven't really reasoned for it. But I just, as I was sitting there, I was like, as I said, the amount of abuse Beverly takes, it's very funny. It's a great name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, yeaah, he takes, you know, baits get treated. By the way, baits get treated pretty good too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe say that to everybody once in a while. You're living, you get to travel on tour bus, you can do some pretty unbelievable things. You went to PTI, the taping of PTI, met Kornheiser, your favorite show of all time. I take we go to that. But yeah, let them know. Oh, I get yelled at too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, I did not say that. You didn't back it up. You said, I'm like Ellen Degeneres. He's a maniac. Who's like the worst, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seemingly, seemingly indicating he is the sole prepared participant of this podcast. Yes, he is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we've said that though. Yeaah. Yeaah. He does everything. He sets up all the stuff and the format of it all and yeaah, it's all him. I've said that. I think he maybe suggests you should prepare more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He brings that. This is like arguing with my wife. It just doesn't get counted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't you do a little more, you're like, I mean, we're sitting in a studio. I mean, I was like, what else do you want? Like, uh, you get it. Yeah. Let me, uh, yeah, I'll type some stuff out too. Sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Nate also brings us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's now arena. I was trying to, we performed at the now arena. Now arena. Uh, it's enough out of you, Nick. Uh, Andrew Harden, Nate's dad was a great guest. I love the making fun of Bosco, runs in the family. It does run in the family. Him, Nate and my dad golf together. I mean, Nate and my dad. Uh, Bates and my dad golf together yesterday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's three generations of Bargazzis. Yeah. She calls them Bob Ripple pants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is a great name. Uh, she calls you sis. Fred report. Yeah. She's already got it all lined up for, cause we're all about to get on the bus tomorrow night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll come. She'll come. She'll get ya. I mean, she'll, she'll come up with something. It's gonna be, uh, alright. Nolan Widener.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, uh, I agree that we should be doing it. And we're gonna do it. It's gonna be a surprise. It'll just come out of nowhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he doesn't care for that. If I just surprised you one day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would, how many, you think, how many Krispy Kreme donuts you think you could eat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And we took, uh, we had pizza in Chicago and he took the, he takes the pill and you're, you just gotta hope it's a good one. Cause if it's not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. Uh, we're going to find out right now. Uh, when we will do it. Now we're going to do it while he's here because he wants to jump in on it. Yeah. We want to see that. We got to see if people are going to want to sit and watch us eat it. That's the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An IQ test during the, I mean that's, that should be your IQ right there. Look what we're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we could do it, yeah, something like that. I mean, eh, you know, we could, we could just have them out here and be eating them. Uh, you know, it's just, you can get away from the mic. You know, it's like our people, yeah, it's like watching someone eat for, that is the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it'd be great for us. It'd be great for me and breakfast. We'd be trending number one. Uh, we go, all right, we have to leave him there for the whole week. We're here, Aaron's out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That one podcast, you're watching this, Aaron is dead. And this is not a filler. Uh, this is live episode. Aaron couldn't do it. He got to 35. We won't even give you the extra one. He only could get to 35. Said he could get to 36. Liar's gonna lie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well we would do it, I think we'd do it and we'd film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would just, we would film us eating downstairs and then we'd come up and do a podcast after. You gotta do it after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well that's what we could do downstairs, is like do that. We could either do it before or after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I might have to do a quick, cause I, I mean I got a special. I'm taping the end of October, I can't be that weak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a lot. What were you thinking? You want to jump in on this before you get bored?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, I didn't ask you to persist. You, the one that said I want to be a part of it. I just want a couple donuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's just- Bates eats a lot. I mean, uh, uh, Nick eats a ton. I eat a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'd always, we and Nick lived together, uh, for 15 years ago. And then we lived together and then we went to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when Nick would come back to New York, he'd always stay with us. And Nick's been on, uh, he's been on the Sopranos, he's been on Boardwalk Empire, uh, good place. Good doctor. Good doctor. Good doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Drew was the good place. Uh, uh, good doctor. Yeah, uh, anything coming up or? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's been on his shows and so he'd always stay at our house. And when he'd come over and Nick's addicted to Chinese food. And so he'd always get low mean, lao mean. And then he would, is it low mean? Low mean? Low mean. No, that's not what I mean. And, uh, it's, uh, low mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'll be, you don't think you're going to be fine. I think I'll be fine. I'll live. No, it's not about living. It's, it's, you're going to, it's just going to be fine, dude. I'll bet I could golf after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet I could eat more than 12 and I could go eat and I could do whatever I want after. I, I, I just eat, I think I eat so bad my body's trained. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think we're eating good food. I don't eat good food dude. So we're not eating good food. And then, I mean are you on some healthy kick right now that you're eating only like really good food?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're better, we're prepared for it. He would be more in danger of like, his body's not used to it. At least our body's at, our body's always kind of in the realm of like, I could eat 36 donuts. Like that, that opportunity might show up. Right. Cause it's already eating bad so much that it's always just like it,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More than you think. Don't, I don't want y'all eating too and then going, ah, it's too much. Maybe I'd surprise myself. Yeah. Go crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there cheese in this? Hey, is there cheese in this? We ate one day and, uh, after Nick gets done, we're sitting there for a while and he goes, I think there could have been cheese in that pasta. And we're like, ah, let's hope not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, were you okay? Yeah, I was fine. Yeah, well, I don't know. Did you get the hot bag? Yeah. Oh gosh. Yeah, that's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you don't know on tour bus, you can't go, you can pee, you can't go to the bathroom, uh, is the problem with the tour bus. And you don't, it like ruins the trip. So if you, if something happens, you gotta just stop the bus and go out in the field. I mean, you go from a rock star to just a homeless,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crazy person in two seconds. Like it's just like, that's the, you know, like everything's great to side of the interstate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, speaking of that, kind of living, crazy living, today we are going to talk about pirates. We went to a pirate museum over, uh, Cape, and we were in Cape Cod, awesome, awesome show again in Cape Cod, near the water. Nick asked, Nick went to the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's already got to deal with you and then Justin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Justin, uh, had to go to the bathroom there and their bathroom was, uh, out of order. And Justin, and she asked him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She goes, no. And then, uh, she, she goes, you can go to that restaurant and see if they're crazy enough to let you do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, I mean, it was just like, kind of, it was just not hap- like, it was kind of rude to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're just not having it. And then Justin was just gone and we didn't see Justin til later. And that was pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was pretty fun though, uh, just for him to be gone. And that's what happens out there on the road. Alright, so we went to the pirate museum, a lot of interesting stuff. Uh, so I thought let's do an episode about pirates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Though pirates have existed since ancient times, the golden age of piracy was in the 17th and early 18th century. During this time, more than 5,000 pirates were said to be at sea. Throughout history, there have been people willing to rob other transporting goods on the water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, uh, early, like 1700s, you know, like, was their heyday. And so 5,000 pirates. And so you might think, how could 5,000 pirates really affect America? Because right now they couldn't. But back then, New York had 18,000 people. South Carolina had 5,000 people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. So they go to these towns. And this was worldwide. Yeah. Worldwide pirates for 5,000, but I mean like. But they all went to South Carolina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like, that's what they were saying. It's A, if you're in South Carolina, you only got 5,000 people. If 500.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They would get drunk, they'd get crazy, they'd get, I mean, they don't care. Like, they're living a pirate life and they're willing to, I guess, kill you. I mean, they just, there's no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rules, you know? They drink, they... I think it was a very much...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was like rob and steal just to get to the next, you know, and then spend that money and then rob and steal again. And it was like that kind of life. That's how I eat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, very, very loose, loose doctor. Yeah. Uh, some famous hearts, uh, his name is going to Bartholomew. Is that right? Yeah. Man, I used to have so much trouble with Bartholomew. That's how you say it. Bartholomew. Bartholomew. Roberts was a Welsh pirate who raided ships off the Americas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In West Africa between 1719 and 1722, he was the most successful pirate of the Golden Age of Piracy as measured by vessels captured, taking over 400 prizes in his career. He's also known as Black Bart, but this name was never used in his lifetime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, that's, black bar would have been so much easier. I feel like there's like two barts. Yeaah. And you're like, well, which one? Well, no. Black bar. Yeaah. Let's get the black one. Cause he was a Welsh part? Was he black?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. That guy got after it. That was a, that seems like a pirate. That.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That Netflix, uh, the crime thing on Netflix, uh, everything's a crime thing on Netflix, but when they talk, they, uh, warlords or crime lords or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoever they talked about, they do like a series, uh, they did Pablo, they did, you know, a lot of stuff like that. But this one girl they did, she ran this, uh, drug thing in, uh, in Compton.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she ended up, they just sold drugs and then she got with like the black widow was like a famous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did all this stuff and eventually it all went down and now she talks like she's a speaker now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she was like a track star. Like it was a person that if she wanted to be in the Olympics, she could have done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She could have done, she's so good that you're like, she can technically do whatever she wants. She put this stuff to drug lords and she became the best at it. And it seems like that guy could be like that where it's, you know, it's, there's guys that are just really good and they're like, they can do whatever they want. You just hope they pick the right field. If they don't, they're going to be really good at the bad ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause I mean, that's, I mean, to be a woman too back in the 80s and, and, and that, I mean, it had to be, I mean, it's probably still is a men dominated field, but that's a field that you gotta gain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Respect? I mean, they're gonna, you know, it's not a normal, it's not like, well, we should have a woman because women should be allowed to, like, you know, it's like, you gotta be crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Ms. Pat's a comedian, you were a very funny comedian, and y'all were doing a show, and you were saying you had to go on after her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Long John Silver is a fictional character in the novel Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. Uh, so this, he's not real. The most.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His missing leg and parrot, uh, yeah, the image of the pirate in popular culture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, perhaps the most famous pirate of all time, Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard, definitely lived up to his fearsome reputation. He was said to enter into every battle with knives, pistols, and two swords. That is the most powerful. He had four ships in his fleet and 300 loyal pirates to man them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that mean they would travel in these big groups. He seized more than 40 merchant ships in the Caribbean and ruthlessly killed several of his prisoners. While he had an impressive run, his luck ran out when he was captured by the Royal Navy and beheaded with his severed head raised near Virginia's Hampton River to warn other pirates to stay away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what they would do a lot. Is they would do, uh, well it's crazy that he did 40


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He sees 40 ships. That other guy did 4- taken over 400 prizes. Does it mean ships? I wonder if prizes mean ships.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would think that to, like, if you're getting attacked by another ship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I bet pirates did stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pirates would do stuff like that, especially if they had four ships, then they could just surround you, and then they're gonna come in. So that's probably why they had that four ships, cause otherwise I think you would just be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if we talked, if it's mentioned in this, but I mean, one guy that we looked at, so they would, like they said he, they hung his head at the river, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Had the pirate stay away. I mean, I think the 1700s, this is a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is not. You know what I mean? Like we talk about pirates now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there, there is still pirates, but it's like not a problem. This is a, they're hanging the head on the, you know, so the pirates can see it just on the shore and they would put them in these cages that their whole body would hang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they would just leave it sitting there just so they know. I mean, you know, this is when they're cutting everybody's heads off in public and they're doing all that kind of stuff. Uh, one guy went and tried to get a ship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he's got all the, he's got a bunch of ships, right? And he sees a ship and he's like, let's go get that ship. And so he goes, you go get it. So one of the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, let's go get that ship. He goes, I want that. He doesn't realize it's the one that, that he just saw. He's like, but I'm sure you get that one. And then it came and just killed all of them. Cause the Navy one did, cause they didn't know. But I was like, you're, you're led by drunks unless you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bartholomew Roberts, who is like a guy that's like, what if he was sober and you're like, well, that guy's going to dominate. Like, because it's, you're either probably not really drink or you're a raging alcohol. Like it's, it's. What kind of alcohol do they have back then? Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd imagine pirates. I feel like it's kinda, I bet it's some of that extremely uneducated and you know, it's like, yeah, I are drunk and we're just, and being just a bunch of dudes. There was also, did you, I don't know if you haven't heard, uh, uh, two women.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That were, that we read a story in the, the pirate museum. There's two women that wanted to be pirates. So they dressed up as men and no one ever knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? That they, uh, that they were, they were just, everybody thought they were men. And then as women, they fell in love with the other person thinking it was a man. So, so the two women,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Naturally, they're gonna be attracted to a man, so the one woman falls for that man, that woman falls for that man, not knowing that they're both women. They then finally reveal to each other, and then the other one tells on the other one and they kill her. Women still...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Still can't be trusted. You're in love. And then they were both, they were both mad and they were betrayed. And that one burned on it. Yea, it's pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anne Bonny got a new start by moving with her family from Ireland in Nassau. She ended up in an unhappy marriage that led Bonny to look for excitement in other places. She certainly found it when she met, uh, Calico Jack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Uh, who's Captain Morgan?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's chaos. I mean, he did, uh, yeaah, that's pretty crazy. So he was the title of deputy governor in Jamaica. So that's the problem. They would come in,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, he had 1200 men, and so they're gonna take over your town. They take over your country. I mean like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's like no reason to go look for pirate treasure. I don't think so. I guess you could get this William Kidd's treasure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought, uh, so power chips are not found either. The ship, the Y-Daw, Y-Daw is the one we saw sank off Cape Cod in 1717. They have, they have stuff from that ship, uh, at the museum we went to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It had, uh, it was carrying tens of thousands of gold coins and uh, basically worth more than a hundred million dollars that ship was. The ship is the only, but they had that ship. So it's not even out there anymore. The ship is the only authenticated pirate ship ever to be found. Who hasn't?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They did, uh, you know, like Barry and stuff is like, the people who do that now is like the Pablo Escobar. Like that, if you ever go dick for stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Captain Morgan is about your best, this probably seems like your best case scenario. Like if you could find a guy like that and that's like, hey, we're going to turn this into owning, you know, a country basically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's just because, ah, it's the old times, man. I used to do that stuff, but not anymore. Did pirate truly have, did pirate truly have parrots?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, you know, I used to always try to do the black hat thing. You know, how are mice getting on these? But I guess they get when they dock and then it's a problem. Like, I mean, uh, they, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would always stay with black cats. I would always try to be like, where, you know, if you see one and you're like, don't, but then you're like, I was in New York and you're like, I mean, there's 5,000 black cats. You just can't. And the New York is Queens was just cats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just running around there and they're outside. They're in the bodegas, but they're in the streets. You just see them everywhere. And so it was like, well, I can't live by this. This is insane. I can't control these. Yeah. Five times a day is a black cat running out in front of you. Uh, did the pirate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they're probably wearing it when a fight is happening. I bet, like the fight's about to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like what's the effort of being like, I'm gonna fight with one eye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're always gonna be fighting with one eye. I mean, how much that time...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much are we saving? You know what I mean? Like, because you go, when you go down there and your eyes gotta adjust, is it five seconds? You know, you can't just, you know, for that moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like, no, it's a great idea. And then the guy that came up that it is, fear it. He's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was my idea. I think your idea is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think it's insane for us to 90% of the fight with this, the light eye, we're fighting one-eyed for the chance, for the chance that we're going to go down below debt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about we open windows below deck when the fight happens? And then there's sun down there. Like that they just, I just would like to be that buyer that's trying to negotiate. He goes, I'm not saying that, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause that guy would be mad. That guy, he'd be like, that's my idea to do the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the way we do it. And he's like, I just, it doesn't make sense though. You know? It's for five seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your eyes adjust, you're not down there for 40 minutes blind. Yeah. So I'm not going to fight. And then this guy's just killing everybody cause he's got, I don't know, use both eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did it, is flogging, do you get killed from it or is it? It's like a spanking, a hardcore spanking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On an island? Yea. I mean, just if you have food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I can, I think I can make stuff happen if I have to. I think if I, I gotta put my mind to it. I know no one thinks I can't do, I know I can't do anything, there's a lot of stuff I can do, but if I have to, I think I can. Like cast away? Yeah, like I think I could figure, I think, I think a lot of people can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, you're done. I mean, then you're... Yeaah, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's in my head. That's what I'm thinking. Like nothing. I'm sure there's islands that are nothing. And then where, you know, you're just, there's, that's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Parlay! And he's like off to his head. Parlay! God, we gotta do this again. Uh, alright, bring him back. If you guys would like to hear your case. Hey, how you doing? Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The pirate code, this is what I thought was, we read this in the, is a code of conduct for governing pirates. A group of sellers on, a group of sellers on turning pirate would draw up their own code.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's eh, you know, every man has a vote in affairs of a moment. If they defrauded the company to the value of a dollar in plate jewels or money marooning was their punishment. If the robbery was only betwixt one another.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I set him on shore, not in an uninhabited place, but somewhere where he was sure to encounter hardships. So if it was between two pirates, you get your ears and nose slit, which seems insane. And then you're put in like a place that where it's going to be a problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No person to game at cards or dice for money. And I'm not saying this weird, no person to game at cards or dice for money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lights and candles to be put out at 8 o'clock at night. If the crew wanted a drink, they have to go on the open deck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was like real deal. The lights gotta be out. You know, like it's very, we're not, if you want to drink, go up there and drink and go drink. I'm not, you know, I'm not your mom. We're pirates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he had a lot of rules. That's why he's successful. Eight o'clock, I mean, how do you know what time it is out there? How do they know? The sun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would bet that the, uh, yeah, I mean, it could probably get pretty awkward on him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean how big is this ship? You know, it's not like it's a cruise ship. Yeah. So I mean, I bet you need music to be like, you gotta have something going on. You can't gamble. Yeah. You know, that's crazy that they couldn't gamble. I think some could for money. I bet. I think some, I mean other ships were,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know where you're like, yeah, it's kind of a nightmare to deal with Belichick, but like you're going to win. Yeah, or Saban. Yeah, it's Saban. Yeah. And then you're, you know, Les Miles is the other guy that you're like, he's a fun time, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the guy that's kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah. Elaine Kiffin, Ole Miss. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to- Is this still going on or is it over? Nah, it's still going on. Yeah. Falcon Lake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a big part of it too is, I mean, just how high the ship goes up now too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? If you got a big enough ship, it's a little...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, I don't, they don't have a big ship. They got a little bang, like this thing that goes up to it. And then it's like, just 50 feet in the air. They're like, you can't just climb on a cruise ship. You know, like if it goes straight up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, is that not true? I don't know that they've gotten that much bigger that quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you look at a naval ship, where are you getting on the ship at? But they're not attacking naval ships. But I'm saying that that's a, the decline is just straight up. Bigger ships. Get a boat they can't get on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so they're, yeaah, they're doing it though. I mean they're so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine if you're just a pirate, I mean there's a pirate out there, right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now, right? There's gotta be, not bunch, not a lot of them, just, I mean, there's, maybe he's listening to Nate Land. And he's just out there, he's like, I haven't seen a boat in three days. So every time I get close, they just go the other way and I can't make ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So Somalia is where it's at. If you're going to be a pirate, they're the ones. Especially early two thousands. Yeah. So it's, uh, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nine, I mean what are they, how are they making any money?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Uh, yeah, you know, while they're shipping by shore, it's actually every day, actually the shore places, you know how much more you can ship?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On a ship, you know what I mean? Like you can load those. Yeah, those huge cargo. Those huge cargo things, but you have 400 of them. A plane can only take, I mean, not even one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a car, yeah, you can ship a thousand cars. So it's actually probably, I'm actually, now there's a ton. Actually, Pirates should be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The quantity that you can move is, it's more than a plane. A plane's gonna have to go back and forth and your train just goes right through. There's gonna be more train robbers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe there are, you know, I mean, I don't know, but they, it's so, I think it's, I think it's now the security of this stuff. They're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think robbing in this kind of crime is, it's all gonna go, you got the cartels, so that's, that's thriving, that's gonna still keep going. But other ways, you gotta, it's all like digital now, you gotta, if you wanna get into it, you gotta be piracy through like the internet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what's going to happen. They're going to just be stealing and hopefully stealing stuff and then you're selling it on the black market or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I mean, there has to be a guy that's just kinda still out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just, and one of the other parts is going, it's over man. And he goes, it's not over. We're the only ones left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have, he's like, I know, but it just doesn't work like this anymore. He's like, but no one's doing it. How great would that be if there's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be crazy. I mean, they'd be like, yeah, it's like bank robbers and now you'd be into crime. It's interesting, how do you get into crime? Like, you know, how would you ever just go, I'm gonna get into crime? I'm gonna, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's where it becomes a problem. Everybody, when you go for more and you're trying to go for a bigger vessel, that's like, well, we got to protect yourself more. Yeah. I mean, who, I mean, they would, how much money could they be getting though? It's like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ransom is big in, uh, for the cartel kind of stuff that they're real big in a ransom. Like, so they, you know, cause I bet there's so many cases of the ransom that you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they probably do get the money, you know, cause it's like some families like, okay. And I mean, do they let the guy go? Does it work? Is the system in place?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so, they're charging who different, right? Like different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Different rates. You mean like more money? They charge it like a crazy. You're talking about different rates than normal rates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be a good place. What are buccaneers? That's just another word for pirate. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, very much more. Would you want to be Buccaneer or Pirate? I would think the guy at the beginning of Bartholomew, he would be like, we're Buccaneers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we do things right. And then there's like, well, I'm a pirate cause your way is stupid. And then like, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I would just feel the threat of it. That y'all would wake up one morning and I would just be like, Aaron's dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. I know how to move stuff. Yeaah. I think I'd be a good planner. I'd be a good planner. I could be, you know, I could, like, what's the, what are we trying to do? More, what's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, you gotta have someone on the, this is all on the ship. Oh, there's no, I think everything's on the ship. I don't think you have an office back. I think it's, I think you're on the ship and this is the ship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'd be gunning for, to eventually hopefully get one of my own ships. Cause if there's multiple ships, you know, you'd have a crew, you get your crew. But basically the tour bus is your ship and you have your own rules. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do have my own rules. That's what's funny. They did have rules. Yeah. Everybody that breaks that is a law breaker immediately has rules.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't have it, which is always so funny. To be like, the guys that don't like the rules, go, we're going to make our own thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's going to be some rules, which is unbelievable. Like, you know, it's like, I mean, it's, it's just so funny to go, we gotta, cause you gotta have rules. And then the main thing you're breaking the rules from, you're going to, is like, yeah, yeah, that's what we're doing, man. And he goes, I know, but I don't, I don't like your rules.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 8 o'clock, no lights on, that's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's insane. We've got a long day of killing and robbing people tomorrow. Lights out. Do you want to be doing this forever? They're like, I mean, I guess, you know, I feel like they would all be like, yeah. I mean, the pirate's not like, uh, you don't retire from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, not everybody, but everybody, you gotta keep people back. Cause you gotta protect. How many people are on a boat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think there was a ton- I don't think these boats were as big as they- 300 loyal pirates to man them. So this one guy had three- had four ships and 300 pirates. Blackbeard did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they'd have roughly 75 people, you know, something like that. Do you think he would honor COVID?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Blackbeard was, uh, yeaah, I mean, he was, I mean, he was doing what he, you know, he was doing it as a professional. That's why he was so great. Black Bart's one had the rules. Oh, Black Bart. Yeah, Black Bart had the rules. Yeah. And then Captain Morgan, I mean, Captain Morgan has crushed it. Yeah, man. I mean, he's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quietly backed by England. I mean, yeaah. Captain Morgan just did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He just did everything. I mean, and now they still doing it today. He's, I mean, he's, he's an icon. Yeah. As I mean, they, you could never imagine that's it. That guy. It's pretty crazy. And just killed, just families were terrorized by this guy. And now we're like, it's a commercial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, specifically Ice Cube. That's exactly what I was thinking, but I couldn't remember the name, so I'm like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, that's it, right? Yeah, I think so. It's all pirate stuff. Uh, alright, well thank you guys, uh, for listening. As always, uh, you know, do all the stuff you do, uh, rate, like, you know, all that. I can't remember all the stuff that it's on. Uh, we can't thank you enough for all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One night only tour, this is it, starting, going to Cleveland, uh, this come out, come out being Cleveland tomorrow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Check it out, come see us, they're fun shows to do. Alright, see y'all next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone also pointed out you mentioned Holly first, then your wife and child.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For what? You were like, you know, I lost something, something I got my dog, my wife, my child. In that order. In that order.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were a few comments like that, but they would call me by the wrong name, so I didn't think they had the real spirit of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a statement I'd like to read. Nate Barghetti is a good person. He did not make me say this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're doing great, man. Keep going. You're totally dumbing it down now for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Laura, uh, yea, Laura did handle the reception, the arrangements.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I said it was from like 500s to the 1500s based on Wikipedia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the wedding ring doesn't help you breathe. Well, I wouldn't wear a seat belt if I didn't have to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a fair point Morgan. You'll wake up ready to go. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but I've had this before. When I was a senior in high school, we went on our senior trip to Panama City. It was my first time away from my parents. I was so excited. My friends down there, we met these girls. I was trying to be so cool just hanging out. And out of nowhere, one of these girls just goes, this guy looks worried.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's coming from, like, guys, you maybe could say that, but from a girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they all laughed. I mean, I was mortified.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She got super worried. Yeah, it's uh, it is self-fulfilling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But for you guys, you grew up with the internet. Like anybody born 1990 or later probably had the internet your whole life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you feel like you view TV different than, than us in the sense that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like that me and him were on this side. I knew it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought as a kid watching sitcoms, I thought the actors just improv'd it there on the spot. Like I didn't realize there were- That's dumber than what I think. Well as a kid, yeah. And I remember watching an episode of something and one of them kind of started to laugh, broke character a little bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and my mom's like, Oh look, they're about to laugh. And I thought, Oh, okay. Well, why don't I shock? They don't laugh all the time. Cause they don't know what's coming. Cause I really just thought they were thinking of it there on the spot, but I was sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not easy to get into. Apparently it is. I had no internet, so TV is all we had to watch. Were you on your computers more or watching TV more? TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, it's this side of the table. But they have kids programming too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, looks like depending on what size you got, it ranged from 125 to 250. A 3 inch? A 5 inch TV!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean I can remember as a kid we didn't have remote controls and I was the remote control changer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be lying on the floor watching and my dad say change the channel and I'd get up, turn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet the people on the show though were like, guys, there's 12, the rest of them, can we just keep it black and white for a little bit longer so more people can see us? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It came out in 1989 and we had a video yearbooks in high school. Did you guys ever have? No.