[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I put my feelers out. Put my feelers out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope as we're speaking, my team won. I hope they have Contra.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys already won a bunch, man. Just give me this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was so long ago, I was just a baby when that happened. But weren't they just there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they've lost very recently several times, dude. Come on. So that's what they do. Let us get over the hump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he's a tight end, tight ends, they're not wide receivers, they don't have like the quickness, they're just big like frickin' hulks and you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, dude, wide receivers are insane. That's like Jerry Rice. Wait, and so, wait, sorry, what's Travis Kelsey? A tight end. A tight end. So when they aren't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Correct. That's, that's Kansas City, right? He was kind of like a KC.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd rather see him sitting down, honestly. I would love to see what he can do sitting down. Honestly. Honestly!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you could do a lot sitting down, just like, just like my home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, wait, the first casino you ever went to was it with your parents, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In Vegas, you went to Vegas, that was your first, uh, casino experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, fucking place rocks. Is it still there? Hilarious. It's, it's pretty bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it still there? I love that it's so bad. That's what I love about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first time I ever went to Vegas was, I think it was my 18th birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my dad and my stepmom, they took me to see the Blue Man group, and that shit was off the fucking hook, dude. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was my 21st, and the wheels really came off. That shit was fun, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yes, I'll post it. That's cool. I have a lot of photos. It's my 21st birthday, so I have those photos. But I went there before that. I went for my 18th birthday. I saw Blue Man Group, and I think I saw David Copperfield too, which was fucking off the chain, dude. See, that's what I'm saying. Say less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be brilliant. I don't think that is what is happening, but that would be absolutely brilliant. But also, I don't know, what would it be like watching a football game in a dome form?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you might want to throw up too though. It would be fucking phenomenal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it'd be all around you. When you watch football, it's straight ahead. It would be 360.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does look cool. It does look cool. I know, but they're, but they're not ready to pipe in the Super Bowl. Maybe year five they'll be ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly want to say the first thing I ever bought with my own money was a pack of fruit strike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're kinda sharp too, and they're hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wish, bitch. No, no, we gotta do Derses on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. What do you got, dude? You got some, man? Humpty Dumpty. What do we got, bro? Hit us with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He carries it around all the time. He's a fucking weirdo, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This dude would pull up the second city with the fucking Hans Christian Anderson book like, have you heard the tale of Rumpelstiltskin?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The first season of Workaholics was too cold, the second season was too hot, the third was just right, and then four, five, six, seven was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that one's actually really cool. That's where he just has public nudity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and just to kind of build off what you guys are talking about, like fruit stripe gum, man, I'm gonna miss you, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That shit was cool, we had so many bands play at that house. Uh-huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I, I got hired to act one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, why don't you, why don't you set up a couple other things, like have like a frozen cow heart in the freezer and be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I tucked them into my jeans, so am I like the biggest like Texas kook in the world or what? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, you dog. Oh yeaah. You dirt dog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You set my heart in motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You like that? I mean, I like just regular pate. I don't know if I need foie gras, if there's a difference even, but I do like pate. I've had a hankering for pate since I was a young boy. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got different angles, dude. Is it that we saw the Toronto Space Needle? Is that what's happening?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think he took it down? I got one that was like an orange peel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's something in the foreground that's covering that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's cool is like, there's somebody getting paid a lot of money in the PR world right now to find a way to spin this in his favor, right? Like, what do you mean in his favor?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying that it's not favorable. I'm just saying like, it's embarrassing a little bit to have like a video of this sort.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is like a teaser for the trailer for the moot, like it's like a lot, there's a lot of steps here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean you fearlessly jumped in with something that was- I'm laughing, but I was like, I don't know what we're talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think there was a draft or even a deleted scene where it's just Ken and Barbie like doing cartwheels naked and you don't see any of the genitals like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They brought it up, and then the last line of the movie is like, I'm here to see the gynecologist, and I'm like, did she, what, I don't understand what, I don't understand this movie, cause I guess she now has a vagina? What did she do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, don't worry. No, but I guess I just, I was like, so did she, cause she went through the portal, and now she's a human?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, zero. Like meme worthy, I'm not looking at you and taking a grammy and then I don't even look at you before I go to the microphone and speak.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it, is it a whirlwind for Taylor Swift to get a Grammy again?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys beat us. We did. We went into OT, I think, right? Or no, maybe it was just down to the wire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. It's kind of a bummer that Celine has it, cause it's like, you want when other people get it to say it's what Adam Devine has. It's called, it's called Devine Syndrome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Lou Gehrigs isn't Lou Gehrigs, it has a real name, but he's the most famous guy who got it, so they call it that. It's ALS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wouldn't. By the way, Dion, like Celine syndrome, way better than stiff person syndrome. What, what fucking dork did, came up with that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she got it, she got it early. You know, she's ahead of everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I could kind of get the name and it could be Adam Devine, I do feel like she'd be like, that is not going to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not even in my hands. I'm Celine Dion and it's me. Honestly, it's not up to me, little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Miley Cyrus did a very good job of roping in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She does. She does. She's Celine's with it. She's your Syrox with it. Celine with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like followers of Adam shouldn't be citizens, they should be standisons. Cause you stand to wipe your ass. Okay, alright, I guess we'll give it to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you just do like, the hits? Yeah. Top 3.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know any other songs besides the, hold on, Titanic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tony Braxton in the mix, just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a babe. What's the one where she's got like, not, is it, not pajamas open, but you can see like the little belly button poking out. Is it silk pajamas? I'm not trying to mix it up with the TLC one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With creep. But I feel like she also has a video where she's in like pajamas that are kind of open, uh, top to bottom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it depends what your definition of R&B is. I feel like Amy Grant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's pop- it's pop because they're white. It's automatically popular because-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Amy Grant, baby, baby, something's in motion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want me to- okay. I don't even know if you need to play it. I might know one more word.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know what it is, but, uh, look, I feel like Mariah Carey kind of ambiguously covered a lot of white, uh, you know, basses in the 90s as far as R&B singers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's, I like that. What is she claiming? What is she claiming?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With, uh. Butterfly album cover?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you know that, uh, Jermaine Dupree was a nepo baby?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's his dad and mom? I think his dad was somebody. I think I just read that or heard that today and I was like, cool. Who are the Dupris?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] George Clooney is Aunt Rosemary Clooney. She was a famous singer. Like what are we, the fuck are we doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you became a puppeteer, yeaah, I'd be like, well dude, he grew up around puppets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably a layup, yeaah. That's called a layup. So, if you're a director and your kid's an actor, that's not a nepo situation? No, that's called a layup, dude. Don't worry about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which brings me to the reason your personality's not that great. You're not that ugly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do we explain these people, these fabulous looking people with interesting, uh, interests and personalities and curiosity? Like what the fuck happened there? They were just raised? Did they have like an ugly mom and like a hot dad or vice versa?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His hair changes a lot. I think he- I think Drake is nice. I think he's nice looking, but he's not hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what I'm, what I'm talking about is, is he also interesting, like, I know he's into like architecture, but that, I feel like that's just a rich person thing where you're like, yeah, build houses. It's like, well. Cause you can afford to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm trying to think of somebody who's like fabulously handsome or beautiful that also, like, I don't know, Clooney, he's also like speaking in front of Congress about stuff and like maybe you agree or disagree with his...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a weird thing where like, this dad of like, this farmer lied to the prince about how his daughter could spin gold, so he's like, oh yeah, let's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then again, the next day, he's like, I need more! This is amazing! And then Rumpelstiltson comes back, he's like, okay, I'll do it for like that necklace you got on. Uh, and she's like, cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's a necklace? No, what is the necklace? Just let me get through this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then what happens? On the third night, he, she's out of jewelry. So he goes, I'll take your firstborn. And she's like, okay. And then the Prince marries her firstborn comes a year or so later and dude shows up and he's like, I'm here for the baby. And she's like, please don't take it. And he goes, if you can guess my name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In three days, you get to keep the baby. So what I'm saying is Chloe...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My butthole's pretty loose butthole from your dad!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You cry the day through. I'm dead and empty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you start to hear a voice and it's like, go in the kitchen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I just was at the door listening to Adam have sex with his girlfriend and he thought it was a rat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I'll double down on that freakin' buzz ball I took, it wasn't so bad, I didn't get diarrhea, I'm hyped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna give you a pro tip right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was an era of Nellies, to be honest. What's another? Uh, Willie Nellieson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You start with one beer in the tank, take it down, then you get two beers, take it down, three, four, so on. Yep. And not so on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She did one like a fucking champ. It was, it was awesome. And then we're like, okay, let's get to the second part of the cycle. She was down there and we fucking, you know, we're like, go Ali, you got this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was gonna be a bunch of people like 20 people coming in and grabbing all the entire ice cream machine and running out with it and then you can't stop everybody. I feel like with those giant like groups of people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, like, rip a bong in the ring and then hit him with a bong or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but there's love, that's what you said about your agent too. There's gotta be some kind of a... There's all sorts of love, and then that love is... It's out there, guys. You guys can take it or leave it. To you guys. It does come from you. It's up to you. To... me. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And now, and now I'm feeling all sorts of vibes. We're waiting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Wait, but after I actually did that, you changed it in your mind? I got up and stripped. I think maybe I just came out as...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can vouch for that. Yeah, I bet you can. Good shit. You look great. I remember saying that we should just use my real voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got here yesterday. I got here last night. Have you been pickleballing, dude? You couldn't get enough of it. I didn't go pickleballing this morning. It was too cold. I didn't bring base layers. I fucked up. Uh, it's fucking cold up here. That's, that's very true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I also noticed that it was in a place called Camus, which was Washington. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Okay. It's the, it's the side that's on your shirt right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As soon as you see just like a person walking, and they're just like at whatever age, and then they like fucking hit in that slide, and they like go somewhere, you're like, well that's not fair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you didn't, you were not smoking weed, bro. When did you guys start smoking weed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On Instagram, he's saying like, please, please respect my privacy for this. But it makes me think that there's something wrong with him, like, medically. Oh, is that real, man? That's what I, that's what I thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I don't know what MTV or whatever it was. We saw Taylor Swift. She's a big woman. She's tall. She's like 5'10", 5'11".


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I wanted to, I wanted to really be a good one, guys. Uh, I guess I'd have to be a beagle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you didn't like it, but I appreciated that. Controversial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go, I'm jealous of Durz's wit and his mustache. Okay. I did two things there, cause. Nice. Yeah, I like it. Pretty witty. It's a good fucking chill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we can, I mean, like- I thought that whole thing was just me getting up and dancing. I had no idea that you guys had said, go be a pole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you could choose, that'd be cool if you could just like choose what comes out of your dick. I can, I can. Oh, I got two choices though. What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you want luck to be as nice to you as a lady, and you hope that you're, if that's not the case, then you do hope that you get lucky with a lady. Adam died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mom tried to force Grammy Pammy. She wanted the kids to call her Grammy Pammy. It did not catch on. But one that's cool is we have a Grandpa Gilbert and my kids can't say his name so they call him Grandpa Yogurt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? He's figured it out. He's like the McDonald's guy who sold the fucking, uh, Monopoly game. He's game this. Good job, guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is zero vitamins in shit. That's what we don't need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the sake of your marriage, step up and change a diaper every once in a while.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to This Is Importance, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go. Start your engines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fill to the brim jar of hot dog flavored water, you good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's just at the beginning. Yeah, it's the album title. And they say it right at the beginning of the album, and it's the album that changed all of our lives, if I remember correctly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think so. I'm assuming. Chocolate starfish is a butthole, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Squirt? Do you think it's squirt? Squirt is pee.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so, butthole and penis and jism. Yeah, I think that probably makes the most sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Euphemism. That's what he's saying. He's never heard, do you want me to do, do you want me to do the intro again? Cause I can't. Absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Boston, Chicago, get ready, get ready!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, like torture. Almost like- Yeaah, but Ders probably loves that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bully. That's just, yeaah, that's just jersey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How was, uh, how was, uh, why did you bring up, uh, Nicholas? Oh, cause I look just like him? Yeah, cause you're brad. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This isn't that, I mean, I don't know, is it? This isn't disaster worthy. Is it disaster? Or is it coming in proper? It's gorgeous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you for saying that. Uh, cause I, that's all I ever had was the mutton chops. I couldn't, I couldn't ever do a stash. I still can't. This stash is not great. It's wispy. It's, it's wispy. Is it just wispy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, see, it's not, it's the same, it's the same amount of hair. It's just all blonde. It came in like completely blonde. Oh, you got the blonde.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. It's long, check it out. Yeaah, get close. Yeaah, come on now. Oh dude, thick, thick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why, what is, what do you, dust cookies? I don't understand, what is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I might be rolling on, on the tour. I might be rolling on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, did you guys see my, uh, did you guys see my post about how I ha- I sent you guys the text, uh, about how I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm happy to give them, and I'm happy to receive them. I love you guys. Uhm, but, uh. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like a, uhm, splinter or some shit. But it's been in there for, I've noticed it a while, but my leg, I'm like, it's way down, my feet are already...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I took, I was like, Chloe, can I get some tweezers? She gave me the tweezers, and I dug, dug down there, but I was watching TV as I was doing it, and I'm just like, kinda plucking around down there, and I felt it, and I'm like, pulling on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did not have surgery on my toes since the accident and I remember that's the toe that fell off in the bathtub when I was jerking off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Half that toe has fallen off, so there's still a nub, and they like barely attached it, and they're like, it probably will fall off, half of it did, and the other half survived, and it's now been really hard, and it's doing a great job for me. Uh, so this stitch was like, keeping that toe on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he was foot and ankle too. He's a foot and ankle specialist. So is that a podiatrist?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he was like, this is, this is insane. Usually they come out within, uh, weeks and, uh, this must have been super deep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, and, I was like, well I almost lost that toe, and he's like, yeah, my guess is this was what, this was their Hail Mary to let you keep this toe. As they just,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well no, cause the stitch kept the base on attached, but the top part was so, it was like charred. So it was just a black nub. And they were like, it'll probably fall off. And I told the story, I was jerking off for one of the first times in the bathtub and my toe fell off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is who got eagle claws. Blasts. One of the first hot dog flavored waters that, uh, that I shot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it might be one of the first hot dog flavored waters that I blasted, so it was, it was... How did I miss it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, I don't, I, I won't say that it is the first, but it was, it was there, it was right around the time that I was finding, I was learning my body, it was what, sixth, maybe seventh grade, I was, I was figuring it out, and uh, sure, sure, your body betrayed you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I thought that's the thing about. Well, there's permanent stitches and there's dissolving stitches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That they pull out. Yeaah. And that's, that's very normal. I just had stitches for my hip, cause I had hip surgery a few weeks ago. I just had that, those stitches removed. And it's, it's super easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Up and down, up and down my, uh, my-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My back and my legs were completely stapled. So I had like- Really? Yea, I probably had- Uh huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I probably had like two dozen staples on the back, exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Staples on, on my back, uh, back of my legs. Oh yeah, that's hot. That's hot, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he like came out and he like flew out and he has hooks on his back that are through his skin and he's doing it. And I was like, that's a great idea for the live show. Maybe...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anna just posted the TMZ article. Take a quick clicky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea, Miguel is a tinier man. I-I-I bet- I bet there is a weight limit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, imagine, imagine it's your first time doing it and it just rips your back off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, had no friends. And they're like, and they're actively going like- Right, what's the craziest thing, yeaah. I have to think of something crazy to do so people pay attention to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Columbus, get ready! Okay, alright. But I think Miguel is a cool dude, so I don't- He is! Get it, I think- Is he cool or is he sexy? Both! Okay, is he both? Cause they're different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you might be right. Maybe he's just sexy, dude. Who's the sexiest not cool person? I mean, we might have found him. David Hyde Pierce. David Hyde Pierce. Us?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was easy. Well handsome is different than sexy. Handsome is way different than sexy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is where it normally happens. Yeaah. People are in dungeons. They're pouring hot wax all over each other. There's one person that's like- That's chill. That's just in like a saran wrap with like a little tube so they can breathe. Yeaah. I like the like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like, yeah, a fuckfest. Well, you guys heard about that, uh, that agent. And where is this? That a guy was killed, or someone was killed in his basement, in his sex dungeon, a few years back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it happened. It was a WME agent. He's just like an agent but he has a sex dungeon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's just like a regular ass agent, but he had a sex dungeon and someone died. It was an accident, they didn't do it on purpose, but it was, he was like in, you know, when they put you in like the, I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was like, they put, uh, from what I understand of it, they put them in like, uhm, what do they call the, like, they're vacuum sealed. The gimpsu?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, where they're vacuum sealed and then they have like a little hole for their mouth. See, not interested. And then somehow that hole got fucked up. Uh. Oh boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anna just sent us the link. Death in a Hollywood sex dungeon. How a top agencies executives mummification ritual ended in tragedy. Oh, mummification?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, imagine if that's your agent, if you're like, on Monday you have to call him about like, uh, your silly project that you're working on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, evidently this, this agent, like, he was, I mean, he wasn't, this wasn't a secret, he was out and proud, and he was like lead, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's Mummy Nye, and he led like a 2005 documentary called Pup, which chronicles his involvement in pup play, a scene in which a handler and a human puppy interact for sexual gratification.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that is just, no, I think that is like, someone is a little, is acting like a little dog, and they're crawling on the ground, and they have a collar and a leash, and then you, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? I think so. I think so. That's, that you're not momma.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeah, that is the, I think that is the cake. Cause you're going to the edge of death and coming back, I mean like that was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but dude, the other week when I was saying that we should have a suicide pack, you were like, very much not on board, and I got a lot of text messages from friends saying, hey, maybe no suicide pack, I know you're in pain, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What an era that was. So this guy's, this guy's house was in Los Feliz, just in the hills right there, and it says stairs located on the right side of the house go down to the basement doorway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The basement is outfitted as a BDSM style dungeon. The room is equipped with paddle floor tiles, a St. Andrews cross, a ladder, black chair. What is the St. Andrews cross? Yea, what's that? I think a classic cross. Hot, hot, hot!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine if you, like, if one of us, like, I just went over to Blake's new house, and I'm like, you know, took a little tour, and you're like, cool, love it, and you know, when we go over to each other's homes, for the first time, you're like, here, check this out, look at this. If you just go in the basement, and that is in the basement, you're like, what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you good? I see, this looks like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, human, like shavings of human flesh? Are you good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, now what is this? What is this? What? What is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, now, now this wall, it looks like, uh, now this is, this, it looks like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm barefoot now, and it's real sticky. Real, real sticky. Very sticky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they're hot. They're hot. Dude, he, he, it was like, he was the head of Imagine Television for a while. He was like... The kids station?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine that. No, that's, Imagine is like Brian Grazer and Ron Howard's company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, uh, it was, you know, someone tragically died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because why else would you do shit like it has to be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that you do that. I feel like I never do that. Once I put my desk or put my shit one place, it lives there until I move from the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kyle, you should just film constantly and let's make a documentary about us on tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why do you need to know that? Me? What is the perp- yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got digital eight. Do you remember when, uh, Kyle remember when we found that camera on Craigslist and I had a little bit of money and we went and bought the, uh, what was that the DB that was that was the Sony DVX


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I had, I had a little bit of money and so I had like $2,500 and that's how much it cost and I was like fuck it. Fuck it, remember? And we bought that and that's what we filmed all of the MOC videos on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Off to the races. And do you remember that that's what they filmed David Le Chappelle's Rise on? It was like the- The actual camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if he was bummed when Dave Chappelle became the biggest star. Or if he was just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blake, Blake for being for sure the one that is hanging on to cool the longest, uh, or is at least attempting to, uh, your definition of cool is way, way different than mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Insane. That dish was a whole documentary of people just going like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I've been going to see specialists every other day. I'm going to a new specialist. Just got a new one the other day. They're testing me for all the diseases now. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fingers crossed. See if I have some sort of, and I'm, I'm going to have to go to, I just went to a neurologist, and he wants me to go to a rheumatologist, which, uh, they check for diseases of, and disorders of the muscles, bones, and joints. It's science. That's what he thinks is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Is going on. He's like, uh, because all-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like just a muscle will just lock up and spasm and so like just my left


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and my left leg and left arm are now going numb, completely numb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get out there, get to the theater. Well, it's, it's, uh, it's 3,000, or 3,800 seats in that theater, so it's almost 4,000. Yea, it's almost 4,000. Holy moly. And, uh. It's a lot of freaks. There's only a few hundred left, it's not like we're that far off, but, uh, but the police show up. No, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're gonna rip bongs at that one. Dude, that is the craziest, uh, Phoenix to Long Beach, that makes a lot of sense. And then to Denver, that's gonna be a real whoopsadoozle. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is your lungs good? Yeah, what's going on? Yeah, that's, that's sort of your MO, this whole, yeah, what's going on? I've noticed like, every once in a while you'll be talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll just like kind of bottom out a little bit. Are you, is your esophagus


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go, they go, take one pill. I went to one doctor and he goes, take one pill at night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And see how it goes. And I went to another doctor, I went to another doctor and he goes, you bump that up, that's way too low, bump that up to at least two pills at night. And I'm like, okay, just at night. And I'm like, alright. And then I went to another specialist and he goes, he goes, dude, that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I got so depressed because that's literally exactly my life right now of like an injury, you get prescribed pills, and then you become an addict. But GappaPen isn't- that's not an opiate. What is Gappa- GappaPen? Ga- what is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's nerve, it's nerve pain. So they're, essentially they're going like, we think it's, we think it's nerve, but we can't find where it's pinched and we can't find what's wrong with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a painkiller but it's to kill the pain of specifically nerve pain. And it's not an opiate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I do have hydrocodone, uh, which- That's opioids, man. Yeah, that is opioids. And I don't take that, uh, that often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I only take those if the pain is, uh, very bad, and then I'll take one only at night, so I'm careful with that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, spray it. Yeah, Ders knows how to handle cats. He's always talking about- Just put your thumb- putting them underwater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that is, uh, it looks like you washed a cat down here. You good? You good?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It doesn't, so far I don't feel anything from the gabapentin and I've been taking fistfuls of it so, it is not working for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's a really good idea. I have so many different pills. I have like a, uh, a giant gallon Ziploc bag that's filled with different pills that I've been prescribed that I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they aren't working and then they prescribe me something else and then I, but I, you know, what do you do with them? You just kind of keep them forever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's 2000 to 2004, that's all of my musical knowledge. Adam was a huge D12 fan. It's crazy. Oh shit. Blue and yellow, purple, pills. D12 was sick. You think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do, I do think so. I don't- Dude, I was big fans of all the other, like, not the famous, like, like Murphy Lee and all of, uh- Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of Nelly's homies? That's, that's what I loved. The teams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but, okay, so, Tony, yayo. Bazaar was pretty big. That's the problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, young bug. Tony Yeo was in G Unit. He was, he's a bigger star than anyone in D12. And so is Lloyd Banks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know how like, uh, they're all, they keep doing these like, like, when we were young tour, that it's like every band that was popular when we were in our early twenties. Uh, they have to do that for real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy. Uh, wrap it for us, Jers. Wrap it for us please.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was mostly, uh, a Nelly, uh, Tim McGraw fan. That was the one I bumped.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn. The fact that now that country is like more popular than ever it seems, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, really? Well, I don't fuck with- I don't really fuck with those. Yeah, I don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I just went, uh, I went to a birthday party. I haven't been out to the desert in years and I just went to a birthday party, uh, out in Palm Springs this past weekend. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, here it goes. It was crazy, we were outside and all of a sudden you were like, why can't we see the sun? Like what, this like, this weird cloud came over and all of a sudden it just was a sandstorm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you forgot like, oh, we're in the desert. The sandstorm just hit and suddenly like we went inside and came out like 30 minutes after it was over and everything was just covered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, and Burning Man was also happening this past weekend. I mean, and I like that they're giving everyone shit for like leaving. 100% I would leave. 100%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had to walk five miles through the mud and then you hitchhike. Like, I guess, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck Diplo and Chris Rock. People were, people were shitting on them. No, I know a handful of people that did that exact same thing. I think a lot of people just went like, LATRO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, because you're- the whole thing about Burning Man is you're supposed to leave no trace of Burning Man. You're supposed to walk in and then leave. Oh, right, right, right, right, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, oh really? That inspired you all the mud and fucking diseases?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, there was like new diseases that like sprouted up from Burning Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? Yea, I didn't think so. Hey, no problem. Didn't really want a real answer, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In our, in our respective office slash homes. And we will, we're taking it on the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chug a beer with me, smoke crack with Kyle, um. We're chillin', I'm down to chill. Yeah. Finger your butt with Blake and, uh. Wait a minute. You good? And, uh, drown a dog with Jers. You know? Oooooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You good? Gonna be a cat wash. What does that mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exciting, yeaah, and uh, yeah, really excited, some really cool, cool shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is it. This is the dismount. And I'm glad we started it with chocolate starfish and hot dog flavored water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was too much. Oh really? Yeah, it was scary. Yeah. Dude, I am so loud.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey dude, and that one I didn't know, that one I didn't even know. Cause they just say Medford Mass. Todd just wrote Medford Mass, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm not saying this changed its name, dude. I just, I've always said Massachusetts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I'm going to so many doctors, you know how they make you fill out just tons of paperwork every time you go to a new doctor? It's embarrassing. Every time. I've had a doctor like laugh at me because he looks at it and like everything's misspelled, I'm like scribbling shit out with the pens, I'm like writing in the margins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're literally, it's just the podcast. He'll be like, nah, no one wants to see it. No one, they're not gonna like it. No one will like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you're gonna be extra charred? Yeah, Ders is, Ders is gonna go in. I could see, I could see his getting real charred up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. That's great. Well, we're not going to DC. That's right. I'm a little bummed we're not going to DC because then we could have been charred the whole time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'm on a lot of pills right now, so, like, literally like, uh, half dozen. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No animals allowed, it's the law? Service dog fraud is a crime. Okay. Well, I mean, it's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love it. I love that you finally found your people, dude. Just haters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything is locked up. You go to a, yeah, there's, I mean, I can't, that's too small. Oh, I can't see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of Gillette. A lot of Dove. A lot of Dove.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's gross. That's tons of Delphramen. Speedstick is way at the bottom. There's my Arm and Hammer right there. Tom's. Dude, there's Brute. Hey, found Brute. Bottom left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey dude. So, so it's there. It's the smallest one. Dude, it's one, one stick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kyle. Sure. The question that they want to ask us. Mine's the yellow top. The question that they want to ask us, but then also what deodorant they use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm excited, uh, I'm excited for the tour. I'm excited to hang with my boys on the rag, which we haven't done in so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm excited to go to all these cities, a lot of cities that I, I feel like I haven't spent a ton of time in, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't wait to, uh, to, to, to meet all the fans, uh, out there. It's gonna be a fucking blast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gonna be nice. And, uh, yeaah, I guess a big thank you to all the fans that have bought tickets. It was pretty overwhelming when you put together a big tour like this. You're a little worried that people aren't gonna show up, but really TI Nation has been showing up and showing out and I can't wait to get in front of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then you regained your asshole-dom, which, uh, I appreciate. Welcome back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit, dude. He's gotta lean up before the show, dude. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't lean up too much, dude. I don't, I don't want to be the, the fattest, uh, one of our crew, dude. You can't get too skinny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't worry. Well hey, we'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We will. I guess we will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, gabapentin, uh, causes weight gain. It's one of the side effects, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about, this is the horniest we've seen Kyle on this tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Cause I think he was bigger than what they had on display too. Cause the picture. Why would they do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about double-fisted Chicago handshake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go. Start your engines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doesn't taste as bad as people say either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, he does this, like, we're doing a run through and he does this unbelievable Matthew McConaughey impression. Like, it's fucking crazy. I'm like, this guy's super talented. I go in the bathroom, I'm taking a- Can, can you do a Matthew McConaughey? Yeah, baby, I can. Wow. Hold up. Whoa, Matthew?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, remember what you said about them kits? KIT THAT MOTHERFUCKER!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There we go. Alright, here he goes. I think he's... No, I didn't find it. No, I can't find it. I think I lost it on the flight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just a second ago you were talking mad shit on this my lord. You said it hasn't been in these streets for long enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'm on record as, and it's a, it's a, it's a real subtle, it, it's, it, it's Cran Blaster.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll legit, uh, put it in papers or like write it on the internet and then it becomes true. And then you have to live up to it. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's like models on the runway breaking ankles with the high heels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last week, that's gonna be your, that's almost the crux of your parenting style. Yeah, absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. Laugh a lot! Yo! Laughter heals all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's right next to dad saves, except they just don't get saved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you mean what's dad saves? That was your runner in the goddamn workaholics movie, asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying like, people- I don't watch shit. That's what I'm saying, but like, in and out of the business- Well you never did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People just are like, I don't even know what I'm watching anymore. And like, what have we achieved where we're at that point where people are just like, I don't know what I'm watching, I just watched...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're getting tricked into thinking we have all this stuff and we don't have anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Adam, I think you're spot on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he's gonna be Elton John before he's gonna be anything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, well wait, can we flesh the superhero thing out or is this, or is this a totally different thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I believe we were like within a couple hundred thousand dollars of each other. I think they out, they edged us, which I always like. I like to be edged. Yeah, edging rocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're, you're totally right. But just to, just to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dig into the superhero thing because everyone came after you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People don't even realize the mechanisms behind why they like these movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they're marketed up the fucking butthole with superhero movies, and no one's gonna take- Do you know how many funny scripts are out there that aren't being made? Because it's just like, uhhh. A lot. So many. Why would we take a risk pissing off somebody to make this funny movie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Movies, if you go back and look, if you follow hood clips, they're like, can you believe they used to make movies like this? That's my algorithm. And they just show clips of all the funniest movies from the 90s and 2000s.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they don't make them anymore because they're like, we're just not gonna take that swing and deal with like whatever kind of bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but dude, if, if the movies were, I agree with everybody, they're like, make funny movies and we'll come back. They're not making funny movies like they used to. They're just not. They're not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also, they're not banking on people anymore either as a tactic. They're like, why would we, why would we hitch our wagon to a person, a movie star, as opposed to an entity that we can just revolving door and then pay-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're just not gonna be selling cups at McDonald's of a, of a guy from a, of a character from a movie that's just whatever. You're gonna be selling cups of Batman or Flash or whoever, you know, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause they're not, he's finding the space to market.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but like just what to add, I'm sorry about the like business model and all that, like people just don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you care, you can pay for it. It's 99 cents. And that actually seemed legit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did that for a while, and then Spotify goes- Then it was a dollar twenty-nine, wasn't it? Actually, it's nothing- well that's fine, but like Spotify goes, actually it's essentially free, you can listen to anything, but you pay ten bucks a month, and then it was thirteen, but the same thing's happening with movies where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People don't want to go to the theaters to go see these comedies because they've been devalued.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I said, uh, many weeks ago, when's the last time you saw like an interesting movie? We used to pay to go be like, whoa, that fucking made me think about something or made me kind of like, walk away thinking about the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't walk away thinking about any of these fucking Marvel movies ever. Ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Yeah, ghost protocol. Oh, ghost protocol with the windstorm chasing? Off the chain. Ghost protocol. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there's like a sandstorm. There's a sandstorm at Ghost Protocol.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree with the idea that these are like big set piece movies with teams or whatever. Yeaah. But the idea that they're saying mission impossible, mission impossible is just- You said impossible. I did. I shoot me down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but the idea of like putting together a team and all that, like, I mean, if we're going to get back to seven Samurai, seven Samurai did it first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But wouldn't you argue that the complexity of the Mission Impossible set pieces, it's just more about like the choreography, whereas they just have gotten off the wall bonkers crazy in the Fast and Furious movies?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause at any point they could just rip their face off and be like, it was a psych. None of this happened. I was actually-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three, four, five, six, seven or whatever. Do those all feel kind of timeless? With the exception of looking at like cell phones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well yeaah, cause also... Do you think the Bond movies are better than Mission Impossible?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His dentures fly out and then he starts just gumming on the bad guy. But the dentures are a bomb. They have bombs in the teeth, dude. It's, wait, what's the, what's the bomb that keeps the dentures in? That's the ad campaign right there. What is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uuuh. Wow. Besides what? Besides blank, besides blank man. Boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I sent you one, didn't I, of him like at some indoor pickleball court at some like Palm Springs crib?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, what's the deal? Get some drone footage. Yeaah, post it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think you could beat him? You think you could beat Doug Allen and Pickleball?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why are you making excuses for yourself? Get some confidence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. He like left- Oh, that he had shit his pants?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The truth. Legacy, right? Like, his, the whole, uhm, what's the fucking word, the mythology of him is like he got hurt, came back and like killed it in that game, right? Yes, yes. Cause he pinched the loaf out and he was light on his feet, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be that. No, it came out. But wouldn't you be a c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the adenovirus, right? Is it the aden- Well did it last like 6 hours or 8 hours?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My oldest had it yesterday, two mornings ago. Dude, new COVID. You got new COVID. Really? Chill COVID. Dude, he woke up at six in the morning, came in a room and just threw up on the floor, threw up on the bathroom, and we're like, then the next morning,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next morning, middle child comes in 4am, crawls in bed with us and goes, I don't feel good, and then just throws up on us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That sucks. Dude. Well I'm getting on a 10 hour flight in 5 hours and I can't wait for that to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's gone through two eldest and our nanny this morning and now Emma and I, we're like eating charcoal pills. Oh wow. Uh, hydrating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, weird. Yeah, it for real was just six or eight hours for both, uh, my boys. It's wild. And, uh, for my nanny, didn't ask, didn't care. She had to go to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, no, she showed up and we were like, yeaah, show up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they got the barf bags. Remember I was like, I was taking your barf bag and like whoever else was next to me's barf bag? Yea dude. Just handing it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the road, baby. Yeah, we're coming to a city near you. Uh, start setting aside your duckets now. It's gonna be a good time. You might catch a buzz ball, is what we're saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know how much work that is for buzz ball drinkers? They're like, uh, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And are there four different NFTs? Because it's like each quarter, like it rotates, right? Oh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, who was that? Sounds like a made up name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do you win a Congressional Medal of Honor? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, is there any part of you that invited him just in case there was like a suicide bomber that crushed your party? And you were like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, so she has what's traditionally a men's name, and he has what is also traditionally, in the ways of the past, a woman's nickname.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it made me realize how good Hard Knocks is. Because the quarterback, you watch the first 20 minutes and you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck is happening? Who edited this? This is just like montage after montage of like quarterbacking and running around and it's not great. I'm gonna keep watching because I'm interested in like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Human, like, you know what I mean? Like, they take these superstars and they go, actually this guy had a rough day and still pulled it out. Like, not his dick. Not his dick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it gets better, I don't know. Netflix is horrible, everything can't talk about it. Entertainment in general, I'm fucking over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was this made popular by Jackass, uh, and co?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but they bring out, um, like convicts and it's a chance, it's like a chance to get your freedom, but the, the, the fix is in, like, you're not going to get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way he's explaining this dude is constant, like, he's emaciated. He's like, he's a bitch, he has no muscles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went in today, I felt like Shia LaBeouf, dude. Ready to rock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no. It's just a facade. It slides into an empty cavern. What's a facade?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never take daddy's phone. I do like smacking bears.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why is that Popo Sal so intense? I feel like the other Popozals weren't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that Beyond Lit? Yeah, I took the full dosage. No, Lit AF is the full dose. Lit AF, I can't wait. I think it's Beyond Lit AF is the most- they sent us three. Oh wait, hold on. There's Lit, there's Lit AF, and then there's Concept X.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Milligrams of ca- And you're looking at 300. Yeah, so that's 300, so that's a real couple ammo. And I will say, I'm a real caffeine addict. Yeah, you are. I mean, I've just drank two sugar-free Red Bulls in a row to get up for this podcast, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, I compliment you out in the streets, dude, when people are like, oh, the, uh, you know, TII Nation. Me too, when I'm out in the streets, bro. You know, I get, I get stopped in the streets all the time about TII Nation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Will you normally just say clam and normally you say chowder? I feel like the only time I say


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blake's on a good one today, dude. I don't know what's happening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got the giggles. I don't know what's happening over there. Yeah, man, I'm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if I've ever had a bread bowl. I don't love bread. Okay, that's why you don't care. Or soup that much. So, we either- But you like those bowls, am I right dude?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have, I think the Fisherman's Wharf is all shut down now though because, uh, the city's, uh, yeaah. I just read a thing that all the restaurants at Fisherman's Wharf are currently closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like maybe two weeks ago I read it that, uh, that it's all because it's, you know, San Francisco is a shanty town now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, it's beautiful if you love heroin, dude. If you're on heroin, it's beautiful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Through the- through COVID and the lockdown and- Well, I'm sure it's different since then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember my mind being blown, but I've also, uh, been out here a really long time, and I could see myself twenty-something years ago, the first time I went to the wharf, uh, being pretty torn up about the whole thing. But I don't remember, I don't remember it knocking me on my ass, like, like I think you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's not even a question. See, I don't have, I don't have it. I don't get the bread bowl because I don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It smells so bad. I don't like clam chowder, Kyle. I don't like it. All the years you were the sourdough boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I get what the, I would get those, uh, those coffees with the booze in them where they like are dumping coffee all over and the guy's like burning his hands cause he's spilling coffee everywhere. What do they call that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you're gonna break the sobriety over a scalding hot Irish coffee? I like that. Nooo. Yeah. Yeah, I'd say that's probably right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I guess three iconic restaurants at the Wharf closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, fuck yea dude. Man, shooting that movie there, it was, cause you have to go to work so damn early. So you're like driving to work at like 4.30 in the morning, 5 am, and you know, and you just, I've never seen so many people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I, I had to, I drove like through the tenderloin to get to work every day, so like, every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do too, why is this so... Yea, why Blake is like fucking dumbfounded, like he's never seen it. It's always been bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aloto's A-L-I-O-T-O-S restaurant, closing after 97 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alitos. I think you're right. Alitos, right? I think it's Aliotos. Aliotos. Dude, that's how I just said it, but I'm sure I butchered it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'm so dumb. I did, uh, Alliotos. We just did a press day for the outlaws that's coming out. July 7th. Yeah, baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah baby. Very shagadelic. Tight beans, tight beans. Super tight beans. So we did Press Day with Chris Brosnan and Ellen, Ellen Barkin and Nina Dobrev and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was me and Nina, and we had to do like, a description word to describe the other person, and... I love journalism, go ahead. Dude, and I had to, uh, yea, you know how they make you do all that dumbass...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shit, we've done it before for Game Over Man, where you're, it's for like, Glamour.com or something. And, uh. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's getting harder. Dude, it made me think about it, cause I don't, you know, I mean, yes, we're all very stupid in our own ways.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, oh, I guess I never even tried to learn to spell because by the time I was like really, like I knew that spell check was there. Like I was just like, I'll fix it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure. I'll misspell it and then just go back and click the thing. But you never had like a... And how do you spell misspell?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got Sports Center, and it's, uh, Sports Center's just on, on the TV, and it rewound 10 seconds, and now it's, uh... Okay, do it with... So then does it turn off?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, okay. Well you guys all knew the word, or did you, or did I say it? One of you knew how to actually pronounce it, and then you guys all pretended like you knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is correct pronunciation. I think we knew.


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[Assistant] I won't have it. I won't stand for it. Not on this show. Derailing. Dude, I don't know if I could spell... Bukkake. Yeah, you could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Motherfucker, spell Scantron. Alright man, hey Isaac, just book us on a live show. What's going on? You have time to write Scantron?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a great question. This is very interesting. Dude, this, it was the 90s, man. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I didn't get a pencil. A fucking electronic? I was thinking of my pencil and how tiny it gets in the cold plunge. You got a car wash? Wait, cold plunge? What's up with your ding?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's sick. It's called a Renew. It's the name of the brand. And it's, uh... Is it French? Yeah, big shout out to them, dude. It's so fucking great. It, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you don't. No, no, no, no, no. You don't. The water cycles, uh, continuously. So you don't really need to clean it. Uh, the water just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I am feeling a lot better. Good, risky. And I think a lot of that has to do with cold blood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, thanks. Yeah, it's the best I've felt in a very long while, so I'm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know how, like, when your dick gets so small, it's like, hard? Pizza, pizza. Yeah, I know what you're talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that's the episode title, is the wiener is resilient.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People have been being born for absolutely ever. Yep, I love this. And back in the day there was not all of this planning. And I'm like, my god. Yeah, natural. I don't want to read books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's gonna be at their high school graduation. I love you, son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chipotle napkins, absolutely. Hey, by the way,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, I- well yeah, we- we all got lifetime- I'm still going, I'm brave. I never got one. Nah, bro. We got life- we got-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lifetime, but all of us, but Kyle, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life of that card. Uh, whether it was a year or what. And I, uh, I think I use it like three times because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt like such an asshole is going in there, you get recognized. No one knew what it was. And they're like, a what? And then you're like, here you go. And they're like, what is it? The worst was when you didn't get recognized. And they're like, what is this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can just say that we did it, and we did not get to say Naked Grandma.


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[Assistant] No, I don't make a lot of pizzas at home. Uh, so I don't really know. You should. Eh, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lit AF, lit AF. What is factor? Isn't it? Factor! Those are those meals that we got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shout out. I bet it's fine, just not as fresh. Fresh or frozen factor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five inches? What? You're talking the whole circumference. Yeah, it's huge. Beyond belief. So it's like five, four or five inches, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jerry Springer kicks the door in. It was unreal. He's a guy con. His talk show was truly out of pocket. And then all of a sudden there was like five shows that were kind of like that and sort of diluted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, Steve Wilkos. Like that's how big his show got. Yeaah, Steve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was, yeah, it was crazy, it was, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it really was the first time that you saw that they were giving a platform to just be where you're like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The four of us, in our own, in our own ways, in smart and other ways, like I said, like I said. Kyle's so offended. And, uh, no. But, but the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The people on Jerry Springer, you're like, oh my god, like how are they in the same society?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well then people are like, I'm gonna go, we're gonna go get famous by being on Jerry Springer and fighting each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ratchet. I wonder since, uh, since the Rider Strike is happening if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I guess not even real talk shows, cause they can't have writers. Talk, shit, talk that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can buy that? Yea, right. I don't really reme- I remember what they look like. I don't remember ever seeing them. But you remember the commercials. Yea, I remember like the- yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why, do you think, like, kids, cause a lot of kids, like, inherently kids, for the most part, are pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Already, luh. Kids are fucked. Yeah. You know what I mean? But like kids don't wanna break- kids don't wanna break rules. Necessarily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, thank you so much. I'm trying to be modern and I'm trying to be chic. And that's kind of why I'm wearing the Google glasses, for chicness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I feel like everybody's dropping like flies lately, so I'll just say yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Haha, love me my breaks. We off ourselves, but we turn on again later. That's it. Okay? Just a little hiatus. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. Oh yeaah, man. No, man. No, not at all. Please do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The curtain doesn't block sound, Adam. She can't just start talking shit with a curtain closed. That's what my parents used to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the, so, so the nurses are talking shit about the bro next door just cause a curtain is closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should renew your license at some point, but... Go for it, brother. I did my, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wisdom teeth without going to sleep and it was kind of harsh because- Really? Wait-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, they didn't put me down. They kinda just, they were like, yo, do you wanna stay awake? You want some, you know, there's bitches that go all the way under. I was like, I'm not a bitch, bro. I was an asshole back then. I haven't switched since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Correct. Yeaah. And Kyle had the Carl Venice Beach. Yes, that exact shirt. You know exactly what shirt I'm talking about. Well, he only had one tank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember this at all, Blake? I sort of do. I, I mean, Ders isn't willing to make things awkward if he feels strongly about something. I've been in plenty of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ders, you are, you are now claiming, you are now claiming that you will admit that you are wrong. Do you think you're good at that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's this very opinionated person as well, which is kinda crazy, so that's another factor in this issue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, it seems like you're- Adam loves children though, so he was like, he, he clocked that. He's like, oh, another child in the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, see that, well, I do like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeaah, it is interesting because some people get offended when their opinion or their idea is challenged and that shouldn't be how it is. You should always...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's got a butthole. Well, also I was talking to our buddy Scooby from community college and he says he's coming to the Arizona show with his


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 12 year old, I'm like, wait, is there, is there not a WELL?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a age limit on some of this, so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the uhm, fuck, I should know their name. It's like a very famous like WCW or NWA like wrestling family, like the Van Doren's or, it's not that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Von Dutch. Von Dutch is the sunglasses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, which I don't know a lot about that wrestling family. I think it was a little bit before my time, but it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's kind of like tickling around like four horsemen maybe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but all I know is their looks look amazing. I would have loved to be cast in that movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but Jeremy and Zac Efron, he's like sneaky, really good actor. Shouldn't even sneaky, he's a really good actor. When Zac puts his mind to it, he's a fucking killer, dude. I think he's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, what was the one that, the, the room, when he was in the room, but it's not the room, what's the Seth Rogen movie where they remade the room?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait a second, that was Zac Efron playing Dave Franco?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Did alright, he did good. He's going for it. Yeaah. He's good. Yeaah, Zach's a good actor. And Mike and Dave is one of his best movies ever, are you kidding me? That shit rocks, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Wow. Oh, yeah, we gotta make an appearance. Will that get us a free cheese dog? Wait, what? I doubt it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there's gonna be, there's gonna be door dashes interrupting the show the whole time. Let's order a hundred door dashes. And then every door dash guy that comes, we- That's funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're talking in your phone. You can send me a $50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go back episodes, I've been claiming Pizza Hut for a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird, it's weird you mentioned that cause I just got a card today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am officially a member and I am loving it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, this is the thing. It's the, it's... It's basically hot. It's ready. It's the first stop when you come into a Costco, and it's the last stop when you go out. They, they, everything is thought out so well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, alright, it doesn't matter. How far outside is it? I got a, I got a hot dog today with a soda. It's on your way. For a dollar fifty. And this hot dog was so big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that's the thing with both of these guys. So, okay, so you're saying he looks super old. Mitch McConnell's brain is melting. Why do politicians want to even be in this position? Why would you want to be, how old is bro, Mitch, like 80, and you have to make crazy decisions?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're fucking drunk on power. You're going to Epstein's Island. I don't know what the perks are bro, but why wouldn't you just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why wouldn't you just want to sit at home and watch Family Feud non-stop? Like what the fuck?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once the strike ends, make a pledge to watch Workaholics over and over and over again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it's, I guess it's, uh, It's really hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, and, uh, we're getting power over here now, baby. I'm feeling good about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kyle, how about we do this? You're off stage, side stage, we have your laptop, and we project you onto the back screen of the theater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, okay, okay, okay, well we'll work that out. We're gonna work that out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I feel like I'm getting, the fact that Captain Lu Albano himself is in the music video for Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and that's not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well dude, we've talked, did we touch on this? We touched on this, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Welcome to This Is Importance, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's obviously most crucially integral to the fabric of our very nature. Today we talk about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should get those valui, valu, evaluated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think we could do that if I'm being real, bro. You gotta speak. Tasty! No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he went round two. He went round two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. It's not debatable. It's very much true. It's a great one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bacon neck is like, bacon neck is the wavy, right? That's the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Zelle's just regular currency though, right? Correct. It's not its own, it's not like a coin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there, yeaah, I'm sure you can use pounds and, uh. Like, zel, zeljules. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What did you buy them for and when? Can we get that information? Is that okay? Great question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's factor this. Let's factor it. Okay. And what's your address? What's your address?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna, I know what my, what my, where I think my ballpark resides. I think you add a zero. I think you're good. I think you add a zero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's, that's where my ballpark resides.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. This is about, he's taking a sip. He's about to drop $800. Right, he might be in a thousand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit. A little bit. Oh, I didn't see the- I'm sorry, I didn't see the original post. My B.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you can't get- you cannot get rid of this shit. This is- this is partial retirement, bruh. Well, that stuff you- I know. You sell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You were 2000 and early to the Marvel all over print. You were fuckin' early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I feel like wrestling the last two weeks has exploded for some reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well isn't uh, isn't Logan Paul over there like in professional wrestling right now probably bringing a whole new crop?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. That wasn't like a storyline?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a term within the industry? Is it a term specific to wrestling? I don't know either. I mean, we can explore it. I believe so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right, well that's the whole, that's the whole Hogan vs. Gawker, like, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but there was some argument, if you peel back that case, where he said when he did that stuff, he was- I didn't peel it back, I guess. He was in character. When he did whatever. He said he was in character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it was something. It was something like the sex tape was in character, so you do not own it. You couldn't put it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam Rae. Adam Rae playing him on, uh, The Rock Show, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the same mentality, bruh. Wait, I'm sorry. It's not NFTs because it's an actual thing. What? Yea, you can touch it. True!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True. I know, I said mentality. I said mentality. It's way different. So it's like t-shirts. It's like limited. Well, it's like gold. T-shirts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. It's exactly what NFTs were in the digital space. It's back to this. It's like a thing worth something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Facts man, I'm into it. That's how you get the invite.


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[Assistant] He's not here. You wanna just make fun of Kyle? I'm here, ready for the punchin'. What's up guys?


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[Assistant] I was going to because, no, well, I just, my, my calendar got pushed a little bit because I had, uhm, I was going to do a mix, a mix, uh, playback today, but it, the space moved and all that stuff. So I'm doing that over the weekend.


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[Assistant] Just to wrap that up, you know what I mean? Yea, just to wrap that shit up.


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[Assistant] I follow, I follow Diplo on IG, I get him daily. Really? Yeah. Bro, he's a good poster. He's very, he puts it out there.


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[Assistant] Wait, do you know his music? Yeah, I know, well he had an album over the pandemic called MMXX that I fucking loved.


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[Assistant] And what does that mean? And to be honest,


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[Assistant] Uh, it's an instrumental album, but we actually used it a lot to like, it inspired us when we were making I'm Totally Fine. We would throw that thing on and it was part of kind of what the ethereal soundscape was and coming up with it.


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[Assistant] It's a good album, everybody should check it out. It's not like his other shit, but it's like... Shit, wow. What a... endorsement.


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[Assistant] Daddy said dirt. And you have said dirt nasty. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] This is what I think the hottest number one shirt is. Okay, let's hear it. Aaliyah shirts.


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[Assistant] An iris. It's like an iris wipe. Thank you. Iris wipe.


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[Assistant] I'm an, I'm a dummy and an asshole, might be. No, it's, it's sawed after. Yeah, I said sawed.


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[Assistant] That's what I was thinking was sawing like a log or something that was sawed after, yeaah. Mmm, okay.


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[Assistant] Oh, dude, early juggalo shirts? I bet juggalo shirts are fucking, uh, like, not worth anything, not worth anything.


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[Assistant] That guy rocks from that show. I don't know who he is.


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[Assistant] The How To John Wilson Show, right, you know, it's documentary about him kind of going through life. He goes to dude's house and


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's killing you. He was like, we got caffeine free for the kids.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're like fucking Chris Nolan, bro. I mean, this is what happens when there's no...


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[Assistant] We sold, we sold, we brought like 50 and we were just kind of walking around like down low selling them and uh, we sold 5 and then a cop.


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[Assistant] Undercover cop goes, oh cool, like how many do you guys have? Like I'll buy a bunch. And we were like, dude, we got like 50, like how many do you need? He goes, I'm a cop.


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[Assistant] And maybe, and Jet Set made a bunch of bootleg workaholic shirts. I was just about to say, you should get those valui- evaluated. What's the-


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[Assistant] Dude, you could be a millionaire off those bro. So, bootleg shirts.


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[Assistant] Since you won. Yeah, see what the- get em value-ized and see if you can, uh, you know, do a couple additions on that shit.


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[Assistant] No, I see. I know what you're doing. You're like, I'm in on this joke.


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[Assistant] You know, play, play, playin' with it. Hey man. Okay, so...


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[Assistant] Dude, did you ever go to jet rag when they fucking would open up the bins on Sundays when it would be like


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[Assistant] Oh man, they would have everything wrapped in plastic so tight and it would be delivered in the parking lot and then they'd come in with razors and pop it all open and then it would just land in a, it'd be a massive pile and everything was like a buck. Whoa. Right.


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[Assistant] That was such a fun thing to do. Okay. Blake's crying because we're not talking about him anymore.


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[Assistant] So wait, what's cool is you're like, I've been dieting. It might be the lack of drinking that's got you looking cut, Blair. Yeah, that's part of it. That's what I'm saying.


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[Assistant] No, that's what I'm saying, but I'm just wondering. I'm just wondering, cause I know.


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[Assistant] That says nothing to me about what it is though. That's why I don't think you can call it a flavor. I think you can call it a brand.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah, I guess that's not, I guess, I guess, I guess so.


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[Assistant] Something. Pecan. Something. Yeah, what's the problem? Coconut Samoa?


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[Assistant] No, he's, he's on some- Because it's kind of too much. It's like having a cap and crunch milkshake.


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[Assistant] Yeah, vanilla to chocolate to strawberry, I'll do that. I don't know if I would, but yeah. I'll do the Neapolitan. A better analogy would just be like, would you have an extra large


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[Assistant] Captain Crunch milkshake. That seems like it's an overkill, having had a Captain Crunch milkshake. Okay, I hear you. Dude, I couldn't have an extra large shake. No fucking way. An XL chocolate shake? I can figure that out real quick.


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[Assistant] Oh, I think I might go play pickleball there over the weekend.


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[Assistant] Yeah, let me know, dude. Someone's here at my house. The pod is off the rails.


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[Assistant] Yes, you might ca- intolerance.


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[Assistant] It's okay, it's okay. It's like the little, it's like big worms kind of going around, right? There's one in the bathtub and that's like the cover.


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[Assistant] Yea, Slither and Bug, I think, came out around the same time.


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[Assistant] Hmm, wish you wouldn't. All right, here, what is that? That's a sea salt caramel and brownie cookie called Adventureful.


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[Assistant] It sounds better when I say it with the flavor.


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[Assistant] Who's getting the dough? I don't know, I don't know Adam. I don't know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Kyle, get the rights. Uhm, it's Little Brownie Bakers.


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[Assistant] Wait, Adam, why do you think that it wouldn't just be the Girl Scouts who have been doing this for upwards of 40 years?


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[Assistant] But that'd be like, why isn't McDonald's bought out by Apple? There may already be McDonald's.


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[Assistant] DONKEY! Like what is that? A pumpkin colada? Like a fucking what? Like a pina colada, but it was like pumpkin flavored instead of uh, what is that, coconut? That sounds gross. Yeah, it was, it was seasonal, we'll say that. Right, like spiced pumpkin latte, was it? Was it pumpkin spice latte? Is that what it's called?


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[Assistant] I'm sorry, I called Kyle a spokes monster. Uhm, oh, I thought that was good though. No, but I can do better, I can do better. Apology accepted, Anders. Like, sss.


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[Assistant] Oh, well, hey, I got the Tesla back, Tesla's back, it's working, but guess what? Oh, save it, save it, save it.


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[Assistant] There's a lot, dude. There's like seven seasons. And by the time you get to season five, it's like, it's like you're clocking in to go to work. You're like, Jesus Christ.


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[Assistant] Come on, Vince, get your shit together. Yeah, no joy, no joy.


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[Assistant] The early 2000s, I had such a specific look. Cause when you're in it, like we, that's when we first moved to California or first moved to LA and we,


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[Assistant] We're young, we were 18 years old, uh, you know, living, living in sunny SoCal, and you forget that there was like a true vibe in LA. Can I tell you something? Please, Jersey.


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[Assistant] You were aware of the vibe? I love this. What was the vibe? Ders, I feel like you were, you were the one that I was like, I'm tapping into Ders to get some of the vibe because him and his friends have the vibe. No, but if you think about that, my friends had the vibe, but think about me. Did I have the vibe? And we had no vibe. We, yeah.


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[Assistant] You weren't on that vibe. Kyle, you were on the truck stop version of the vibe. Okay.


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[Assistant] Like the vibe was happening at like a high level of like the truck, the trucker hats were like a hundred dollar truck, dumb trucker hats. And you were- He had trucker hats!


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[Assistant] Yeaah, the end, it's like. With like TMZ like everywhere and paparazzi truly being a real thing. I feel like. Right. Paris Hilton. There still is paparazzi, but it's less of a, it's less of a clamoring for, is that because people are just on social media? Yes. Yeaah. Yes. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] We took the power back. And you're like, oh yeaah, we've seen them. Now they take photos of themselves. Everyone's got cameras. At restaurants, you don't have to do it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, satch paparazzi. And that's why there's not really a vibe anymore, because people, they already, they're outing themselves. We're vibe-less.


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[Assistant] He, well he had a- someone- Also, harkin'. Always harkin'.


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[Assistant] This, this kid from Euphoria, uh, who just- Angus Cloud. Yeah, I just heard about this. Who just, uh, passed away.


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[Assistant] Show at all. Did he, do we know how he died? Was it drug related or was it health related?


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[Assistant] No, no, you go. No, you go. No, you go. No, it's fine, you go.


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[Assistant] I remember you loving Vice Magazine, and the guy that started it ended up being a white supremacist. What do you say about that, Blake? Adam, it's Blake's favorite guy.


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[Assistant] So I didn't realize Vice, every time I looked at Vice, it was just like people doing heroin and like, uh, little dicks.


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[Assistant] And like, uh, I, I don't remember it being fashion, I just remember it being like, seeing little penises and, and...


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[Assistant] You're thinking of the TV show, we're talking about that magazine that Blake used to, uh, have at the Workaholics house, or even before then, I think, uh, at the, um, the house on Packard. Yeah. Uh, we had, he had that little magazine. I remember looking at a few times and being like, oh, here's a man doing heroin. Here's like a guy's dick.


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[Assistant] Super SoCal, what was it? Trillies? Tillies? Tillies. Yeaah. Dude, I remember going to the Tillies for the first time and it was just like all Southern California type clothing and just being a boy from the little kid from the Midwest moving there and like, I'm wearing like a polo or some dumb shit and I'm like,


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[Assistant] I'm like, God, thank God I'm ready to cash in here and just become so


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I was around the same time. I feel... It was like pop punk, pop punk shit. I feel Famous Stars and Straps was more, uh, Yeah, yeah, I feel like my chemical romance was more gothic in a way. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I've seen Blake skateboard before. What are you talking about? Uh, well that being said dude, uh, that being said, I, I definitely am not a skateboarder, I don't surf, and I wore all that shit too, so I, I'm with you Blake.


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[Assistant] The fact that there's not lucky stores all over anymore, like they've disappeared.


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[Assistant] You gotta get the, you gotta get the lucky jeans and then the fly on the inside says lucky you, which... Such a move. Fuck a move, dude.


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[Assistant] Like, uh, uh, like our crew didn't take a lot of big swings. I mean, we took some swings, but sometimes you look at photos of like, when people, when you see like, millennial GIFs of people like,


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[Assistant] Uh, we're gonna have to tell our kids we went through this phase and then it's just like bangs in front of your eyes and like super emo like.


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[Assistant] I'm glad none of us went that hard down, down that path.


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[Assistant] I think that's why we all thought you were way older than you were. Cause you always just sort of dressed like you were a young dad and you were like 23 years old.


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[Assistant] What was your vibe in high school, Blake? What was your, like, uh, how did you dress?


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[Assistant] Right. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] Well, there's a bunch of professional basketball players that are 6'3". Like Chris Paul is like 6'2".


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[Assistant] That's WNBA. Well, I would love that. I would love that. I would love, uh, under six feet basketball. Uh, we lower the hoops. They're now eight feet.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, you're out. No, we're lowering the hoops. Hey! Yeaah.