[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew something was wrong because I was, I was in pain, just like I'd walk through an airport, I need to take a painkiller. You know, I just knew something was off, literally off and I went and got x-rays and they're like, yeah, that's a non-union fracture. What does that mean? It goes, it's not coming back. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found another surgeon that specializes in non-unions and he realigned it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As the years progressed and as my, my spinning and my skating got better, I felt more comfortable in actually committing to the full spin. And then I started to spin it, probably spin it pretty well, like five years later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I started getting close and when I started getting close, I fully committed to making one and I was leaning too far forward and I slammed into the bottom of the ramp, broke my rib.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and that was the moment where I was like, maybe this is impossible because I had every piece of it. I thought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I put it all together and that's what happens. So I kind of left it for awhile. I'd come back to it sometimes, but I just never could commit again because of that injury.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did, I had one trick planned for the best trick event, which was my best trick at the time. I'd only done it once, which was a, it's a 720 spin with a variable. So I spin my board. I made that halfway into the event.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I got 10 minutes left to do whatever and, and it was actually the announcer. The announcer said, um, let's see what those 900 attempts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, it's like, okay, here's, here's what it looks like. Literally like that? Literally the guy says it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is like the 10th or 11th attempt that night. The time was already up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always cringe on that first set, that last set up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I needed, I needed that crash when I broke my rib to understand how to shift my weight in the air. Really? So even though at the moment when that happened with that crash, I thought that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's my sign that it's not going to work. But in the, in the moment of the X games, which was years later, I was like, if I'm ever going to get hurt again, it's right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that I'm walking normally, I'm getting very antsy. I bet. And my wife has to tell me that. He texts me at Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, in the early 80s, no parents wanted their kids skating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I have three older siblings that all grew up in the 70s and they'd already kind of been through the wringer with them. And I came late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like my mom was 43, my dad was 45 when I was born. And in the, I mean, I was born in 68. So in those times that was very old for having kids. Definitely an accident. And then, uh, and then I came on, let's just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was a fireball. I just wanted to go, go, go. And when I found skateboarding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was it. So because I finally found something that occupied all my time, my dad was like, get him to the skate park. Just get him there. And that's all I needed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can rent it for the day. Yeah. So we did that and my kids and a bunch of their friends went. And, uh, so that was, it's, it's called, uh, Waco Surf. And so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jason and I, I was still at the, the tail end of my problematic leg issue. So the challenge was that Jason was going to get up on a wave and we were going to get up on a wave together for, you know, podcast Hawk versus Wolf. That's sweet. Yeah. And, uh, we did it. So mission accomplished.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did. I was gonna jump on his board and then something came over me and decided not to do that. That's a good idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I grew up very short. I grew up as a runt and, uh, didn't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can do this move that he's mentioned like how I made that 900 where I can get really squatty and low and I can sort of save landings like that. So I was always able to do that. That was probably a big reason why I broke my leg because I thought I could still save it with a squat and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My body was not ready to squat that tightly anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but that's been, I mean, that's been a big thing for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just trying to get my flexibility back because I feel like I have my strength back finally. So I want to be able to, to get down, to get squatty like that again and not, not risk it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I do think that skating has come so far in the last, at least 20 years, if not just the last 15, where skaters are regarded as top athletes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of the top skaters and, and ones that were on TV and whatnot. So that goes with the same adulation and, and acceptance and you know, rock star status. Whereas when we were coming up, even though we were pro skaters, skater, skateboarders would just look down upon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because there had not been a game that represented skating that well. There were some that were fun to play, but they just, they weren't authentic with the action or with the look or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stoke to play it, even if they weren't gamers, they would be stoked to go get it. And then it wasn't until maybe a month before the release that I sensed there was something else going on because Activision got very excited. They started, they started, um, increasing their marketing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go ahead. You're not going to, you're not going to say. Mostly because in the slowest times for me when in the early nineties, I was still trying to make a career as a skater and with limited options and I got invited to big shows that were mostly inline skaters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had my first son had just been born. Uhm, I'm providing for family. I have two mortgages that one that I'm definitely can't afford anymore. And so when I was going to those shows, I was like, thank God they asked me to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you'd be surprised though, there, there are skaters now that you see them going into that point of no return and they can get out of it. It's really like, it's kind of a new technique. I don't know how they do it, but if you have more weight on the nose on the front truck, then you're less likely to, to veer out like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I mean, they've definitely, you know, some of those downhill- Loose guys do way more. They're going like 1670s sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's called Waldorf. It's actually kind of an underground brand and they're not outrageously expensive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They make an affordable tourbillon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, absolutely. We, we, well, I started doing a show. They were hiring athletes for this one channel and they gave a bunch of different people shows. And then, um, I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Asked if I could have a cohost because Jason's also a skater, but one of the funniest dudes I know. So I thought that would be really fun. And then as I predicted, as soon as our show


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Started to get some traction and the other shows are falling away. They realize, well, maybe Jason could do something on his own. And then he became the voice of the channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went for a while and then I left because I felt like I wasn't really getting much support there. And, uh, he got let go shortly after that. And so then we, we convened for the podcast and that's been a blast. Cause yeah, exactly. No one's telling us, no, can't say that. You can't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Subscribe. We do a live show, too. Oh yea, we do a Patreon. Each month we do a live show. Oh, very cool. In addition to the weekly show that we're doing. So we're, you know, we're trying to- We're trying- We're aspiring to be you guys, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gotta talk about cleanliness. Can't call yourself no man if your ass ain't clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, if you're gonna invite a girl over, two rooms you need to make sure you had clean before you even get to the motherfucking bedroom. That's the living room where y'all gonna be spending most of y'all time at.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also, uhm, when you clean that bathroom, make sure you clean that toilet. Clean behind the toilet and clean the two little knobs that you be leaving the piss on. Clean that toothpaste off of that mirror in the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay? And don't wait too late to clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'd like you to turn the recorder on when you go into the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just trying to make friends, I've seen a lot of videos on here, shit videos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hear me out. This is what I said to Tony Hawk. When I said, Tom wants to know if you think he's a rad dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had one and it is the most painful experience I've ever had. Just letting you know. There you go, Chad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So for those of you that don't know, this is what PCOS might look like for some people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Excessive body hair is a symptom of polycystic ovary syndrome and this usually presents on the face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ladies and gentlemen, this episode is brought to you by Satva, S-A-A-T-V-A dot com slash the shit. Go there and get $200 off any mattress of your choice. I'm a huge fan. I've slept on all of them. You gotta try one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I remember the uhm, the video that was used to, for the audio to rip that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so there's a porno where the, um, the lady had her head, looked like the wooden block thing and her hands through the, and then the guy was behind her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were, yeaah, we were, yeaah, that's exactly the stocks, yeaah. That's how the girl was in this, uhm, I would call it an adult film. And uhm, yeaah, it's funny, we're talking about this, I saw the army hammer doc, it's all coming together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, yeaah, all of it, yeaah. Also, it's just like a humiliating position to be in, I think that's part of it too. If you're on display in the town square like that, I don't think it feels cool. I think you're probably like, uuuh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you like it, so, yeaah. Very cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cool that you can normalize that for a- you can normalize anything for a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is a real goofball. I watched that whole thing. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I liked it. It was uhm, well it was, it was kind of fascinating. It was fascinating not just to watch his story, but the family history. Yeaah. Oh yeaah. Because he came from a whole, like this lineage of his is pretty wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, somewhat. I mean, you know, not everybody that comes from somebody that, uh, has tendencies is gonna behave the same way, but it is really fascinating to see


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He comes from like a really powerful, um, like his great grandfather founded, um, Occidental Petroleum and, and grew that company into being the, I think 16th biggest company in the world at the time. There he is. No, that's not him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's, I don't know, uhm, not hints, but pretty...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then at one point, his, so that's his great grandfather, his grandfather,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, stole his son's girlfriend from him at one point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when I had like a violent fight and took his 19 year old girlfriend from her, like from him, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could have been, I mean there's a couple of girls that could have slid in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, there was one that I dated, uhm, in DC. I think she, she was, you could tell she came from like a pretty Republican household. And uhm, you know, I think she could have been, she might have found him intriguing in some way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that sh- you know, she would've talked to him for a while. Like, longer than-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, there's like, when you talk to like, uh, your, your love interests parents, there's, um, politeness and then there's actual interest. And I think she could have been interested in like, you know, whatever he was saying. And I think he might have been like, Andy, mind if I slide one in there? I'd be like, what, dad? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I slept with the friends of both of my sisters. Like their best friends. Both of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, whatever. She was like, how would you like it if I did? And I was like, I don't care, go for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think these are just different men- like male-female dynamics though. Uhm, well here's the thing, if like, I- I was uh, super protective and like, you know, crazy, like I don't want anyone to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's because you're thinking now as a grown adult woman, it's different. Like now, well now I think it would be, it's not that weird if you're like in your thirties and forties. Those are like, everyone's like a real independent, fully formed adult.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's very different when you're in your teens, early twenties. Teens, that's different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, because also your whole world is your social circle. You don't really, like that is your entire world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have a job, you don't have responsibilities, you don't have, you go to school with those people and you hang out with them after school. And then that's everything. So somebody could possibly screw up your dynamic with your friend, your sibling. And I was trying to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was another time. Uhm, oh, and by the way, let me show you. Speaking of like our friends, uh, don't say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this is one of my friends that you know, um, that has a different look than I'm used to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Another friend, after I saw this picture, that we might have a new mass killer on our


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And by the way, it is a terrifying photo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh I would- nothing, I would do it for- I would love to see people kinda go like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Geez. Speaking of super handsome, army hammer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He comes from, he wasn't rich. I mean, the family was, but he wasn't. You know? Uhm, but you're right, he comes from like an incredible...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, this guy is like, striking good looking, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll tell you why. Makes his D-I-C-K heart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause here's what people say, right? Like when you look at him right there, you go, I'd bone him, right? And like so many women are like, Oh, I'd sleep with that guy. People would say, I know you're going to hear me out. People would say, why did Bill Cosby?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Roofie chicks and fuck them while they were unconscious. Cause he was a rich, famous guy on television. It's because that's what made his dick hard. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy likes to bind you up and watch you cry and crawl down the hall shivering and in pain because that's what makes his dick hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doesn't care if you're like, oh I'll sleep with you. That doesn't do it for him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What he would describe would be kind of kink fun role play stuff, but then he would kind of dial it up and they were like, I'm not enjoying this. And he was like, I'm in heaven. I'm in heaven because I thought I heard your bones break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, if you don't get, um, discovered, like in other words, if this didn't leak out, I think you dial it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's how serial killers develop. They don't start killing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they, they let, they fucking snap a squirrel's neck and then they, you know, then they go like, oh, I want to try binding someone, you know, they start and then they kind of, it escalates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you gotta separate them, because uhm, it's just for the better of society.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's in the Cayman Islands. He's like a fucking building manager now of an apartment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, uh, I don't know that he committed necessarily any crimes, at least that, I mean, I know they investigated him, LAPD investigated him, the sex crimes division did, but I don't know if they actually charged him with anything. And the way the legal system works here is, you know, you gotta be charged and convicted of a crime. I don't know that that's happened to him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The buildings are, it is, I mean- It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's real wild is when you look abroad at how much bigger certain cities are, but in the United States, when you're fucking, here's a move, a helicopter around New York City and you see


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How fucking vast and enormous and dense. Yeah. And it's just like, it just feels like it's buildings as far as your eyes can see. And then you look at even a city like, you know, LA, how downtown is like five square blocks. You're like, that's downtown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? It's like LA's spread out and New York's built up. I think both are actually a good place you can disappear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whitey Bulger, he was hiding in Santa Monica. 20 years, fucking top 10 most wanted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The FBI's most fucking wanted dude was just like, I walk to the beach every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a lady who had befriended the woman that he lived with, and she ID'd him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just started, I'm almost done with it now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian's series on Apple+, my cousin BriBri.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He made McMillions on HBO, and he made a series called The Big Con, it's on Apple+. And uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The reason I bring that up is it has a big, what you're saying, Latin American escape, uh, storyline. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eric C. Cahn. He's got real cool guy hair. Uhm, this guy...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I guess was a big part of, masterminded, schemed, uhm, the biggest social security fraud in US history.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the coolest move that he did, he and a judge, Judge Doherty. You wanna hear like a real cool guy thing they did? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole reason that this thing even came like to anyone's light, like why it became a story, is a Wall Street journalist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was doing a, uh, you know, just like one of those budgetary articles. Oh, and he's like, you know, there's whatever is spent on social, you know, however many billions or trillions social security. So he's like just looking through data and he sees this, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He sees that when people apply for disability, you basically, you know, you go before a judge, and a judge makes a ruling, I guess, on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So a judge, judges in most counties, 40 to 60% were approved. Meaning, you know, sometimes they'd be like, you're not approved for disability, right? And so, and then sometimes you present your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Medical evidence and then they go, yes, you're approved. Well, a judge in, I think it was Kentucky. I think this was in Eastern Kentucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] had approved of 99%. And so the journalist was like, that's weird. This is the only judge in the country that approves of 99% of people that go in front of him. He's like, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And through his investigation of why that was, discovered that they had, uhm, together, the judge and this guy, defrauded, uhm, uh, the US government of $550 million.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is more than I make doing stand up comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If that journalist, first of all, there were, so when you watch the series, you see that there are people in the office that were running up to their superiors like, this is criminal, this is happening. And it was all,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The saddest part of the whole story is that when the government finally was like, oh yeaah, this is a problem, they cut off everybody who was getting disability that was approved by this judge, including people who were very disabled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he, these guys fucked every, like they fucked the taxpayer, they fucked over, you know, this whole system, and then they fucked over people who actually needed disability. It's a pretty neat story and they're pretty good guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad used to say that. But, uh, Formula One is, is really a fucking, it is so fun. I, I gotta get, you know, I started going to the track, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fat sticks, yeaah. And they both called them fat sticks. Yeaah. It was pretty funny. It was fricking so cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was so cool. Uhm, yeah, so I had a great time though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep going. It really is a thrill to work on it, you know? Like it, it is like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really one of those skill sets where you kinda, you realize you can really get better at it if you, if you like doing it and you have a good coach. Yeah, there you are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ask, uh, ask Ted Bundy if you can change your wife. Alright, uhm, you ready to keep, uh, watching that? So that first kid. Yeah. So what happened here, right? He was arrested for robbing a store and then told, uhm, and apparently, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even watching that clip, I'm like, this feels like you would only be this brash if you didn't do it. That was my, that was my feeling, you know? Uhm, anyway, so the reporters were waiting for him outside of, of the jail or whatever. Uhm, so let's see, this is him, he comes back outside.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I actually, I actually feel, I mean, I don't know obviously anything about, I'm watching this at the same time as you, the audience, but I feel like this is some fuckhead kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I feel like just watching these that he got pinched for something he really didn't do and that's why he's this brash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is in trouble all the time, but I think when you're in trouble all the time and you get accused of something you didn't do, it makes you bow up like this. Yeah, I really do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right. You're right. Yes. Uh, Queensland police reported the teenager had allegedly entered the serv-o and the servo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As well as drug possession, uh, for the Xanax he allegedly had on his possession. My thought is that this kid has Xanax but probably not a machete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you make these calls like, just in the moment, but it just feels hard for me to believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very funny, yeaah. Yeaah, he's a very funny kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. There's just cool people out there doing cool things, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, he's just on his taint, just balancing his whole body.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't believe how beautiful Amsterdam was. I couldn't believe it. I'm serious. I walked through that city and I was like, what is happening? And then they're like, oh, you know, people, I think people pay 70%


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tax rate there. And I'm like, oh, and they actually put it into the city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like you walk around and you're like, oh, this is what they do with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the parks were just like jaw dropping. It was stunning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it really does stand out to you. People were, they were so great there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where did I go in Belgium? I performed there, for sure I did. I remember. Did I go to Brussels?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go bring up, uh, the map, the second, the drop down there. See the next in the search?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. And Antwerp has the uh, Dutch and French like side, it's like split down the middle or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May. And I, and I fucking, I'm so stupid. I, uh, I plugged my beard trimmer into the wall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, oh yeaah, I wanted to show you this guy. We've played him before, but it's, uh, he's the, uh, the British, uh, Herc, Fetsmoker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The spirit of fed smoker. You know, just like, let me bother people who are doing something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to put a camera in someone's face and like try to. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He knew that under that bridge, guy's butt fuck. He was like, let me ruin a couple guys day to day. You know, like that's what he did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I mean, the only difference between him and Herc is the meth, you know? That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew this, uh, kid in, I mean, I knew him when I was in high school and as an adult, you know, he's a openly gay man and he was like, yeah, I, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was on one of the apps and just ran over to like a bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the big trick there. You think you want, you think you're like, oh wow, look at this handsome guy, and then he's like, big mistake bitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's the real ones right there. Those are the real ones. Those are the real ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think every guy has thought of twins, right? Every guy, yea. And you're like, I've never thought of twins.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You could probably, you could probably mold Tom number two more. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this transitions me to this? That I think you sent in?


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[Assistant] He might have an unusual manner of speaking designed to conceal the sound of his constant hiccuping. Oh yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he was born in 1893. He started hiccuping after an incident involving a hog.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In May of 91 at age 97. So he stopped hiccuping the year before he died. At 96. He was like, fuck. No chance to enjoy this now. Wow. That is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A physician at the Mayo Clinic managed to stop the hiccups by placing him on carbon monoxide.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Instead he had to settle for learning a breathing technique that minimized the characteristics of the hick sound. Wow. That is just, I mean that's incredible that there is no other way to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just looking to see if they'd say what happened in 90 when he actually stopped.


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[Assistant] That is, yeaah, this guy's like, oh, it's been 48 hours. You imagine if you met that guy, he's like, I've been fucking hiccuping for 68 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, in rare cases hiccups can last for more than a month becoming intractable. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Intractable hiccups affect one in 100,000 people and result in severe exhaustion and weight loss. Oh, maybe I should get burnt to hiccup. That's pretty in the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It really is, more than anything, it's annoying, right? You're like, god damn it, this has to stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, he's better looking than most voice over actors too. Most of them you're like, I can see why you're a voice over actor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy actually has like a, a camera actor's face, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty, pretty wild. I want to know how, what the doctor told him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, did you see Ari Shaffir's post? No. He always does something when, uh, when someone dies. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty cool. Well anyway. Oh look, Robert Paul champagne. I meant to love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, King Charles the third. Now here's the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Genetically, even though he looks like a dog's asshole.


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[Assistant] Nope. Don't give a fuck. That's what I would say. I don't give a fuck that I'm meeting you right now, is what I would say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm too old for this. I'd be like, yeah, I don't really, I'm not buying this shit. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's going on? That, that looks like there's a sausage fingers, but there's something affecting that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but there was an article that said, like, explains it. That's what I'm, like, scroll back up. The baby is very sweet, enormously proud of him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you, would you really go for...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like here's all the things you have to do when you meet the king and queen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, Prince William and Kate Middleton changed titles on their social media following the Queen's death.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like, uhm, this is what people get, what you see when you check out at a grocery store. I love it. You know, the tabloids there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But don't you feel like, that's what I'm saying, as you get older, the more you're like, wait, a monarchy? What? This is the king and the prince and the queen? What the fuck are we talking about? And then you realize that they're just symbolic there, they don't actually dictate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true, I'd bow to Betty White before I bow to the, the Keenan Quick. I would. I would be really sweet to Betty White. But I feel like she's contributed more than these cunts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was heckled, I'm assuming at the funeral. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I guess I like him a little bit more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, we've seen that enough. Good luck playing pretend, sir. Camilla. Uhm, you're the, the king of England.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My condolences. Um, all right, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with our guest. And we are back and you're never going to believe who's sitting here with us. The natural arch nemesis of Nadav, former Google engineer, Blake Lemoine. Thanks for coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this is wild. We got, uhm, connected by the great Duncan Trussell. Uhm, I believe you did, you did his podcast. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure it was. Duncan is, is one of a kind. Um, and then we learned that you've, uh, I guess listened to the show before or, yeah. And that's, it's very exciting. Your story is wild, dude. I mean, I, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's one of those things where what you're, why you came into, into like the zeitgeist and in the news is something that everybody's kind of been talking about. I guess people who know have been talking about, I mean, Elon has brought it up multiple times. Um, said that he brought it up to I think the last two presidents, which is, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Artificial intelligence kind of taking over and it's the premise of so many, you know, sci-fi thrillers and movies. And then you flagged this, right? Like you, you brought this to higher ups and you were all over the news. I mean, what, what, explain to people what you were tasked with and then how this came about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the predecessors just had some bias that you would flag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So normally, just so people would grasp this, like normally what you would be looking for, like what you would report if it were just a traditional bias, what would be something that you would say, this is a bias?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that, but how does that occur if it's just like software, writing software, programmed by other software?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, reported, I guess to your superiors, that you thought this was different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what is the, the, what was the ultimate goal with this actual, you know, AI, what is it, Lambda?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what would that be used for in, you know, practical purposes? What's intelligence used for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're trying to get it to stop saying that? Oh yeaah. And it, they can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So does, but does Google, like, uhm, make it, like, make it so that certain things, like, I don't know if it's sexual proclivities or, or, or something, like, is not, that, that, that this software is not informed by it, so that it doesn't ever even, you know, dip into that kind of thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I imagine that because of your line of work, you paid attention to that, the, the, it was, it was in the, you know, news, it was kind of like a viral story of Microsoft's AI Twitter account, and then people got it to be racist. And it was one of the most uplifting stories I can remember in a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you guys, it is almost needed to happen, right? So that people could, I guess, in your position address this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so you have to program it like that. You have to be like very specific though, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Now, can you explain to me then, so you said when you, you brought this to superior's attention, this was investigated by a group and you guys are like, oh, and then how did we get to you being, you know, the bad guy in this situation?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then would the AI be aware that you're doing things and you're not asking for consent?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So in theory, like it could start having a strong political opinion, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And does, does the, there's a question, does it, did it have an awareness that you were purposely doing, you know what I mean, trying to manipulate it? No. No. That it does not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, do you know Uncle Shine? No, I don't know Uncle Shine. You don't know him? No, I don't. Who's that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually went to Lafayette last year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I met Unkshine. He has a, he's a dude one of a kind. Let me see if I can pull this here. And you might, you might see this and be like, oh, this feels very Lafayette.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was really cool when I had my, uh, my family reunion in 2000 and they hired a genealogist, I believe it's called, uh, to trace our family lineage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was really neat because everybody was really high up on all the information that we were learning about the first Sagura that came over, Francisco, in the 1700s. Uhm, right, and he went to, uh, Spanish New Iberia, and they, they were like, he became a millionaire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then, in the 1700s, everybody was like, wow. And then they're like, and this is where he killed a guy. Everyone was like, what? And then they're like, and then when he died, this is his will. And it was 30 pages of like slaves that he left. Everybody was like, I guess, uh, thanks for coming in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that a, is that a Louisiana thing? I have never heard of that before. That's something I always wanted to ask somebody else who was from Lafayette.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He puts a banana and then corn chips and then, uh, whipped cream and some ice cream all in between the booty and then he calls it a banana split.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did it address, uhm, when you made it feel poorly and then it expressed religious opinion? Did it express anything later about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And what was it like for you in the days or the day of all this, you know? Oh, it wasn't a day, this, this happened over- But I'm saying of it becoming, of your face becoming public and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, was, was, were Google as a company or people they're particularly vindictive about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overall, what's it like to work, cause I've uhm, I've, I know a couple people who have had interviews there and, and it's, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Leave this, leave this to the, leave the chicks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually first thought when I saw this clip that it was a woman, when I first saw it, and then I saw it on this screen, and I just can't see it very clearly, and I can't tell if in the chest we're seeing a bra or not. It looks like it. It definitely, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also, I mean, look at those quads and look at those calves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is insane! This person is also like, I'm on my way to see somebody and I gotta get this done right now. That's what I assume is happening, right? This is not like a task that you can- Yeah, this is, this is urgent. Like this is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, it's existing within the inning community in Silicon Valley. That's fascinating. That's fascinating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? Yea. In Silicon Valley or in Google specifically? They both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uhm. This is the- oh, he wrote it on a flight. And did he send it out on the flight and then land to his world changer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. So, but I'm, I guess I'm surprised, honestly. I mean, because I'm naive to it, that, that, uhm, racism is that prevalent and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I read this article too about uhm, which might contribute to segregation like you're talking about. This was, I would say this was more than two years ago, but I'm sure, I can't imagine that it has changed much, about the cost of housing in Silicon Valley, and they were showing, this article was showing homes that, honestly if you, I think most people would, if you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They showed like the four homes that were at the time on sale in the area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this, and I forget which area because I know that there's a, uh, each campus exists in a very specific area, but one of them, it's cited, had like four homes are on sale right now. And these are homes that I think if you looked at you'd be like, I don't know, it looks like a hundred and sixty five thousand dollar house or something. And it was like 2.5 million. And then it was, people were like, you know, I'm actually,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well paid and at one of these companies and I can't buy this house. It's just, it's too much. Uhm, but that was, it's like an extreme of, of driving up the cost of these places and maybe contributing to some, to that segregation too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But isn't there, there is a segment of the population, uhm, that would be like, yea I'll pay that, right? Like there's, like, Larry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But isn't it, for some of them, the thrill? Like they have crazy toys, I'm assuming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be prepared to not have a life. That's what we learned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was this whole thing, I actually knew the guy that uhm, was the whistleblower in post for uhm, only editors would be paid overtime in post production when I was working in it. Only editors, right? And our whole post staff would work six days a week, most of us would do at least 70 hours a week and you get paid on a 40 hour week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, and it was, it was in the news and like it made it a whole thing. I mean, and they didn't think twice of it either. They'd be like, you're going to work here six days a week and you're going to be, you know, and you're going to get paid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Based on a five day, uh, 40 hour work week. And they were like, or you don't have to, and we'll just find someone else who does. And nobody really said shit. And the editors were the only ones who were rewarded for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today. After knowing this woman's 17, she's like, nah, I never thought about hooking up with twins, but actually it sounds pretty neat. She said it sounds neat. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Possibly. Yeaah. I mean it was, it's still, it's become, well we know about it now, in the way things get normalized. It was 2013. Yeaah. Uhm, but, uh, it is wild when you remind yourself of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's not talked about all the time and it takes some effort. It just kind of went away, which was that after all the snow and stuff, I remember this, there being this moment of people really making this, certain people who were really into their privacy would be like, uh, you know, you have a fucking Gmail account. What are you, you know, like they would make this thing and they would encourage people to get,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Email accounts that were, like, you know, I forget, I don't know. Proton mail. What is, like, so what is that, what are the emails that, or accounts, places to go where people have privacy in their emails?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I wonder about that? About the AI scanning those things is like how many messages had to have been written


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That were, you know, like super crazy hateful about Trump or let's say Biden, anybody like kind of running for president, but especially those two guys, you know, in the last election and how it would know to dismiss somebody's just, you know, political rage and emotion as opposed to like, this is a credible person that we should watch out for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If that makes them come back, then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has there ever been a case of, uh, you know, like a Google employee using this data on somebody? You know what I mean? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It seems like a very delicate, like, you know, security.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh right, because you're not as unique as you think you are, right? In terms of like, there's so many users that a lot of you have to align.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, here's the good part. His car's okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't done this, but yeaah, but the, uh, the, what, the user terms, uh, terms of service from TikTok are wild where they, they, when your keystrokes and your, like all, you give up all your information to it when you agree to use that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The crane was lowering with a pallet on it, excuse me, so he was hanging from that, from the 30th floor, he's just dangling with his hands on this thing. I mean, and then lowered, and then they thought, as he got closer to the ground, that the crane was going to continue down and crush the guy. Cause what did it say at first up here? It just said that, right? 30th?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lifted to the 30th. Oh, so maybe it was like, it was, I don't know how he got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's that guy on, uh, Instagram. I think his name's like Gatorboy Chris or something like that. And he works at one of these places and he does videos all the time in the water with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, oh yeah, he's like, you know, he goes, don't, don't think that I don't know that these guys are, um, you know, that this guy could kill me right now. He goes, they're always trying to kill me because I've almost been killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this guy just makes accounts about books and the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Does this shirt say Jesus? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like such an animal whenever you have them and then you stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah man, this was a real treat for to have you in here. Thank you and it was fun to show you, you know, the videos and links that are important in our world to show them to a software engineer. It feels, you know, it feels really special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. Bye guys. Oh wait a minute. If you ever, uhm, uh, hooked up with twins, let us know. Uhm, your mom's podcast at gmail.com. If you've ever, uh, uh, hooked up with twins, please let us send us a message and talk about it soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey! You just watched a full episode of Your Mom's House. I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, watch another one. Maybe you'll like that one. They're everywhere. Look. I don't know. They place them in like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, probably buttfucking too, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If people ask, why aren't you drinking? Not even socially? That's a little extreme. You know what's extreme? Your poverty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your fat, sloppy, unconditioned body is extreme. Okay. Your poor, negative, destitute mindset is extreme.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an extreme example of what not to be to your kids, to your community, to your employees. It's a really passionate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, that one. My favorite one is the uhm, the little cotton ball in the medicine. I thought that that was there for freshness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like, just the other day, I was like, god, I fucking, every time I gotta take this stupid cotton ball out to get a pill out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Second reason I'm doing this is because a lot of men out there, uhm, have lost their moxie. They've forgotten how to be men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They become arrogant. They become too prideful. They become full of themselves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And let you guys know who I am as a person. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I've been running around doing errands, but as promised, I am doing a segment talking about me. Oh! Only me. Okay. So, I'm not your average male.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one's making a scene except you guys. I'm just gonna be here quietly collecting some footage from my YouTube channel. Leave me alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's your name? My name is Demarco Fleming. Are you gay? I'm bisexual. Are you top or bottom? I'm a top. Dom top. Aggressive top. Can you describe what dom top means? Dom top means which means I grab you by your back and neck, put your face down, ass up and fuck the shit out of you and have you walk crazy for days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your series from FX. Yeaah, it's kinda crazy. I don't think anybody's done that. NO!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, the risks that you want to take in terms of casting and you don't have to, when you have to put something by somebody who's worried about how much it costs, it's just a little stifling. Not even like, those guys don't know shit. It's just, it's more fun to just do it your own way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I've, I had a number in mind I could spend this much. And I can't spend any more. And I got, I told my producer this is, we just, it doesn't exist if you want more. I think we ended up spending twice as much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's always like that. It's just the way it goes. It's like a contract or anything else. And he's a great producer. He's great. He still brought it in under what anybody else would have. But also it comes to day to day. I'm the reason it kept going over budget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because he would, uh, you know, cause I want the movie to look good. Sure. And also I want everybody to have a good time. So we shot it in Lake George during a pandemic and so everyone had to be, it was kind of crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not worth going into. But, like, I wanted a decent van to take everybody to the sit. We had like, they had to do an hour and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a thing in the nose. That costs money too. It does. That guy who does that costs money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he eats, he has to eat, he eats a lot. And, uh, and yes, and everything has to, we didn't have any, uh, sick people, so we didn't have that. That's usually what kills.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Uh, is, uh, somebody sick, we have to stop shooting. Yeah, you've shut everything down. Yeah, that's, we didn't have that. Cause we're, we're isolated up in, up in the mountains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but also this, I wouldn't have wanted to pitch this movie to anybody. Right now a lot of things being made are very, uh, people call it algorithmic, you know? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very rare that a family has the same, I mean it's bizarre and actually unhealthy when a family is the same. Yea, the whole way down. Like you shouldn't be your parents, essentially. That would be so terrible. Well like Shane Gillis does a very funny thing in New York. He's a very funny anomaly in stand up, which is that he's a red state product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, but he plays to Brooklyn Kids in New York. Right. And I've seen him in front of audiences where he's, you could just feel it as soon as he gets on stage without him talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They go like, oh, what is this guy? Yeah. And he goes, my father is a, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, my father's a Fox News guy. And they just go, boo! And he goes...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so this movie is about a guy who came from that and lives in New York and needs to go, go back to it. Yeah. You know? Right. Uhm, people have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, everyone has people in their lives that you don't, it's not your kind of person, but you just love them. You just love them. Yeah, yeah. Nick DiPaolo who's in the movie. Nick was my roommate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have, there's not a person that I know personally who I'm less like than Nick DiPaolo. We just don't agree. I love him. And we brought him to this, and we didn't know where, it's a New York kind of crew, there's some younger people in the cast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he doesn't. He does it with love. And also he knows more about what's funny about his father. Exactly. Than Seth Meyers or somebody like that who's never met anybody like that before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, and also this people are, uh, there's an essence to people that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he has this really strange, nervous relationship with his, with his parents. And his whole family, he used to, there he is, he used to, I hate myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was Anthony Clark, I remember that night so well. It was Anthony Clark, Dave Vettel, Dave Chappelle, a guy named Eric Tunney who died. He's the only one in that group that died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you ordered a short film DVD for my website. Yes. So I packed that in an envelope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I did, I just would get the addresses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would, we would sit in our room and put it in. It didn't took me about five minutes a week to do it because not many people bought the stuff. But yeah, I did the DVD and the CDs. Um, that was a fun. I have them made at this place and then you get them in these boxes. It was fun. I enjoyed that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think to me it's the little moments is where real truth is, like the big truths of what life is. I have no idea and I'm not even, I'm humble before that. But the little things about how people behave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, that's what I fall in love with. Like most of the things I've written,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And directed and stuff have been things that started with that, that like I thought of a moment, oh god, it would be beautiful to see that on film, these two people rubbing each other this wrong way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I build a story around it. Like the story is usually just horse shit to kind of, you know, to trap all the moments. To find the moments. Yeah, that's why my series on FX was perfect for me because I was able to just really, sometimes the stories were only half an episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, uh, I didn't want to have to carry a story structure is kind of a- God, we watched him so many times. It was so fun, it was so- So good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No one ever says anything. But also I lose the argument because she just keeps saying I want it. Yeah. And I go, no, you can't, you know, and in the end I don't give her one. Then I tell her to make sure her, I give her a chocolate and I tell her to make sure your sister gets one. Yeah. Yeah. Completely go back. That's how it ends up with children all the time. You try to teach the lesson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's an example of something that came from a moment. The thing I wanted to see, and I think it came from just being picked up by a driver who had my name on a sign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had this notion that after seeing me, that he would walk ahead of me and keep holding the sign up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, not put it down, and I'm like, you can, yeah, you can. And that, when I got to that, I thought, okay, so then we want to have a whole thing with Limo Driver, but that's what started it. Like, there's a scene in one episode with Bobby Kelly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, who plays my brother on the show on and off. There's some seasons he wasn't in. But Bobby, uh, I was working in a theater in Somerville, Mass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they had a light switch with a timer on it, so that they wouldn't waste the light. So you had to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And at some point after you long forget it the light would just shut off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you'd have to go do it again, and I was like, I gotta do a thing with this, with this fucking light, and I knew it should be Bobby, and that he has a shitty apartment that he asks me like, how long are we gonna be in here for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's one of the best ever. I would never make something without him now. He's so good. Yep. And in 4th of July, he's tremendous. He's like the heart of the movie, even though he's not the central, he's not in the family. And he's not, uh, uhm, he's, he plays, uh, Joe, Joe's character, Jeff, is a, an alcoholic and,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's in AA and he's very active. But the thing that was important for Joe, and this came, a lot of this movie came from Joe, from things I learned from him and then turned into the movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] AA people have a lot of pet peeves and most movies that show AA show a meeting and really glorify it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the awkwardness of like the, the, the, um, being a sponsor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sponsors always shown as a very wise person, which Bill Chef plays Joe's sponsor. He is very wise, but you never show what it's like to sponsor somebody when you haven't done it. And it's just fucking awkward. And that you have no self confidence and your, his sobriety is in your hands now. And of course they do this because this helps you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he needs, he just instantly needs Joe like a big baby. And it's too much for Joe.


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[Assistant] He's really good. Really good. And when you have a guy like that, you just abuse him because...


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[Assistant] You don't, like when we're shooting something, if there's, if it's a hard scene, he goes last. He goes, he's, he's had to feed everybody their lines all day. You've shot everybody else out and you're losing light and you tell them like, dude, you need to get this like, you have no time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, okay. But I always put him in that position because he's, he's just a baller. He's great.


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[Assistant] He, I also shot a special with him in uh, Florida, uhm, which I'm gonna release on my website in September. Oh really? Nice. We took him down to Florida and found this interesting weird space and we shot a great special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted the people to see the show. You, you were able to go on iTunes or Amazon and buy episodes, like single episodes or, uh, but it wasn't streaming anywhere and it also wasn't being sort of amplified and like celebrated anywhere. So I went to FX and said, Hey, you know, let me have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was a hard deal to make because it belongs to Disney now. It's Buena Vista. Oh, right, right. And Disney owns Fox. It's a whole new world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I was dealing with them and uhm, they were willing but they, they, they, I, I basically they made me a vendor like anybody else and that was, I couldn't, I also couldn't do what they needed for security and for like the level that they need to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, my website isn't, isn't a huge platform. Right. So it took a few years of kind of figuring that out. Of working this out? Yea, and also talking to FX and finally there's sort of with some, somebody, I mean I really am very grateful to FX cause they just,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pushed it through to where, I hope it's alright that I'm saying that, but it, to the point where I got a decent, they just let me rent it. Like I, I own it for, for two years I license it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can only stream it. I can't do downloads like I do with other stuff. But that way I was able to set a price because I had to be competitive with the other guys. I couldn't undercut. So they took it off Amazon, off iTunes. You can't get anywhere else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And because I was able to do that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could do what I really wanted which is to charge almost, it's $30, you get the whole five seasons. Oh. You get the entire series. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I think is good. And people are used to paying nothing because they stream, but my website is a pay or play thing. And you can stream it. You can't download it, but the stream lasts for like five years from when you buy it. So yeah, and you can buy one season for like 10 bucks or the whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole thing for 30. Yeah. And, uh, and I just love having it on my website. I love having it there. I love that that's where you can get it. And it's going out. People are buying it. It's, it's, it's fun. Sorry, I just remembered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was in a movie called Warriors, did you ever see Warriors? Like back in the, like the old movies? Yea, the 70s. So he's the bad guy in Warriors. Oh really? And if you could find me one thing that's, okay, there, no that's not him. Uh, there, yea that's him. So what's his fucking name? That's, uhm, David something I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] David Little. It doesn't sound familiar to me.


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[Assistant] Yes. There's one scene, I didn't have those scripted, like I would just give him one. Oh really? And he would do it. Oh. And one of them was uhm, I'm talking about sex, David Patrick Kelly. That's him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm talking about sexual frustration, and he says, sex is really, people think it's complicated, but it's very simple. The man takes his penis, he puts it in the woman's vagina, and then she dies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now one of the funnest things about the series was casting, cause New York has an incredible array of


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[Assistant] Yeah, no, she's great, she's amazing. Like, I feel like- Huge talent.


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[Assistant] But, uh, but Pamela is, uh, is a very unique and wonderful talent and she's got such a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, a depth of, of history, you know, in television. She was a kid actor and a, and a, and a, a voice actor. And, uh, yes, I always loved women like this. I liked tomboy women and I just liked that she's not what you expect. She's not.


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[Assistant] She's, she's tough, and she's goofy, and she's got incredible comic timing. I just always could trust her with anything.


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[Assistant] And then when I did Louis, she helped me, she was like a sounding board. I didn't, I wrote the whole series, but I had folks that I depended on who had good, sharp ear and good sense.


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[Assistant] And her and Vernon Chapman was one, Steven Wright worked on the show for a while. And these were just people who I just trusted because you can't, when it's all your thing, that's very hard. I don't think I would do that again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a lot of fights with some of the writers about Pamela because I wanted, she's supposed to be a nurse, an overworked nurse mother with a husband that doesn't really earn any money and they wanted her to be a sweet sitcom way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like we did an episode about her having an orgasm.


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[Assistant] And she realizes that she hasn't had one before. And that she's 34 or however old she was then.


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[Assistant] And then she's having her first one and she's like, well kind of, what am I, how could this have been there all this time and I never had one.


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[Assistant] And then through the whole rest of the episode I'm trying to make her have another one.


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[Assistant] It was one of my favorite episodes, Dan Mintz wrote it, uhm, with another guy, Aaron Shor or something like that. Anyway, it doesn't, well, it matters. But, uh, but they...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm trying to make her, and my neighbor, his wife keeps screaming, and sexually coming, and I can hear it through the wall. So one day I knock on the door and I ask him,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, but Pamela, so the thing that happened was that in the end I kept trying to make her come again after that first time and I can't do it. And finally she goes, can we just go back to where you come and I watch my shows? Because I hate this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was her, cause we had another solution to it, but she, I asked Pamela, what do you, what would you do in this situation? She said, I wouldn't want the coming after, I don't want it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not where people meet and love each other, it's in their strength, it's in their weakness. Right. So I think that that's what I always loved about her as a character and as a writer and all these things is that she shows her weakest self, she shows her, you know, how hard it can be. This leads me to another question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so that actually, it's funny the way you remember shows, cause that guy was a different actor, and F. Murray Abraham played my uncle. Sorry. But then he played my father. No, it's okay. It's interesting how you get to connect people. He played my father in his flashback episode. Okay. But he, he, uhm, he played my uncle telling me to go see my father.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yes, my father, uhm, when it was time to give me the sex talk,


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[Assistant] I had to tell me what sex, I mean I didn't know, I needed all the information. And he said, here's what she needs to know about sex. When you enter a woman, you only enter her slightly, and then you pull out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you come out and you don't and she asks you and you refuse and you refuse. My father's Mexican too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I was always in this sort of weird, he would bring me in and tell me things and I'd stand there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well his father was a Hungarian Jewish guy. Okay. With one leg. Sweet. Who came to Mexico, because it was hard to get to the United States around the turn of the century, and married a Mexican woman and lived there his whole life. My abuelo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mother is like Irish, you know, English, English tin miners that came here to mine copper. Okay. No, she went to school in Ohio, but then she took summer classes at Harvard and my dad was there trying to get a degree and that's where they met on campus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, my dad never didn't make it through it. My mom only took classes there. But you know, she, she came from, uh, you know, farmers. Her dad was a math teacher and had a farm. But my dad's side of the family was like cultured and they, you know, also on the Mexicans might, you know, believe it or not, the Mexican side, they were quite educated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my abuelita who died at a hundred years old a couple years ago. Wow. Yes, she lasted a long time. And she was from Puebla, a very nice suburb of Mexico City and, you know, from a good family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he lives in near Massachusetts. In Massachusetts. In a little room. A little room? A very small room. And he sits there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that was, my grand, grandfather was beaten up by cops, uh, they called him a dirty Jew and they beat him with their gun butts and put him in a prison for like three months. Jesus! In, in Hungary. Yeah. And then he, he got out, he had to, he had to confess to something he didn't do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. No, I went to Auschwitz and there's a book of all of the names and it's a room of a book. And there's like 20 pages of my last name. Oh my gosh. Mostly out of the million, I think it's 1.1 million that died in Auschwitz, 600,000 were just Budapest Jews. Jesus. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. That's the thing, is the feeling I had in Auschwitz was that survival, like you think of survival as a beautiful, warm, glowing act like the sun, survival is a bitter thing. It's a bitter,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, you know, and that's what my grandfather was. He was a tough dude and that's why his strain made it through it. And he got out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we lost like 44 people, I think, in out, just in Auschwitz. And he, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. No, you get a feeling in the Eastern European countries that if something happens, there's not going to be a great result. Yeah. It's not going to, if you get killed, they're going to be like, all right. Yeah. It's all right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember I was in a taxi, and uh, I think in New York, and it was, the driver was like, uh, Muslim, and there was a woman crossing in front of us, and he honked at her because she was, went after the light had turned, and she gave him the finger. And he said to me, do you know in my country,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If a woman show you this finger, I could get out, beat her to death.


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[Assistant] They're terrible, they're cockroaches. No, when I moved, I moved to uhm, my ex-wife and I moved to Greenport, Greenpoint. Which is a part of Brooklyn that's... The Polish. It's the Polish part and it never quite gets cool. Like it just doesn't quite, I think now finally there's cool young people there. But everybody was moving to Williamsburg when we were...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And nobody, it was just a little dog leg up to Greenpoint, nobody was there. And we found a great place, I get a lot of room, but when we were looking, the realtors were always Polish or German.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, or whatever, Eastern European, and uhm, and they give you, after they show you the place, they show you where the sun comes in, they give you all the, and part of the breakdown is the race breakdown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they don't go like this. They go like, of course you want to know this. And cause they weren't used to Manhattanites. They go like, okay, so, this block, all Polish. Next, some German.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no blacks. No blacks. They're just like, the Jew, the Jew is in, they always refer to Jews in the singular, the Jew, he's in, he's in Bed-Stuy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fourth of July on lewisck.com for fifteen dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, one of the people that worked on it, I don't want to name him because, but he was one of the guys that we interviewed that worked on the movie. He said, uhm, he, we talked about, he read the script, we went through, we had an interview, and at the end of it he said, I just want to say this, as a gay man,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was like, you know, that it's supposed to have more bite. That's right. When cunt is the word that's needed, the one you use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, especially in comedy, because the point of comedy to me is that you're, you're loosening, loosening the, the, uh, you're just not worrying about it. Yeah. Comedy's a game. It's not more polite speech. It's a break from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if comedy is polite and helpful,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not entertaining and it's not, it's a very ancient art. Yeaah. That somehow...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has made it through years and decades and generations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, and also it's that you take away the social, uh, the moral arrow, and you go, there's no...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To all agree what's polite and what you should and shouldn't say. In society, in, in certain circles, right? Right. People wanna get along with each other. People don't wanna hurt each other's feelings. This is all normal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But comedy has always been this insane game that's like, we're just not gonna worry about it right now. And what it sometimes accidentally does is it lets you say something that ends up being valuable. Not just that it's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that it's valuable cause like, well nobody was talking over there. Like nobody was over, nobody was thinking in this area without, without tension. They were just going, fuck it, we're just gonna, just for today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's the thing you can change, is the infuriating part. You don't have to get infuriated at this, because it's calculated when they do this. It's for profit. It's for profit. It's because right now, and by the way it's waning, I don't think it's worth as much money as it used to be. That's true. It's the only reason you're seeing less of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because people aren't as interested in this story anymore. Like, what did he say? It is the cheapest, silliest thing you can do. It's like, guess what that comedian said? He said something wrong. Of course he did! That's what comedy is!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Comedy is saying something that you shouldn't say, either because it doesn't make sense. It's like shitting on a joke because it didn't make sense. Like a silly joke. Saying, how could he say that? It's not... Well, it's a fucking joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, either because it doesn't make sense, you shouldn't say it, or because it's impolite, or because it's wildly inappropriate, or because nobody ever talks like that. These are all reasons to, you just say it, it's fun. So, but I don't get mad at this. I don't. To me, the way to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we end up getting in this bad place and comedians too much I think with each other of, cause it's another way, it's our click bait. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Is like, fuck those people that hate comedy. And, and that's also easy. That's another cheap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They need it. It's like how they get through life. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm happy to take some shit from some cynical people that are faking it. Yeah. When there's a sincere need on that. That's worth protecting. That's most of the population. There is also- Most people want comedy and they want it to be the way it is. They don't want it fucked with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's our job to resist that shit. We shouldn't pass that stress on to our audience. It's like when you have kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're tough or bad going on and you're taking it on, but when you turn your face to your kids, you should be like, don't worry about this. I got this. I can take it. I can take shit from these folks. They're just, they're just making a little bit of money and you're giving me a lot more. So, so, you know, if you face that crowd, you're turning away from the people. And it's most human beings love comedy. Most human beings don't give a shit about any of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a lot of things happen at the same time, so you take on the sense of freedom at the same time as you take on, you know, it's been painful. So, in some ways I have a thinner skin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I look after myself better than I used to. I think before all this stuff happened I was quite reckless.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With my life and with my privacy and with my ego and with my everything. I was just like, hey, everybody look, you know, look at this, look at everything. And I was just letting it all out and also taking on anything I was asked to do. And it was just, you know, and I didn't have a sense of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like in the, the, in this last special, sorry, I used Bob Dylan, uhm, uh, uh, what do you call this song, uh, like a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now I do, and that's changed me a little bit. So that's opposite of like no fucks given, in a sense. But that's more about the way I live my life and the way I plan my life now. But on stage, that's holy, that's a holy place for me. And I do think I got that back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was the sense of like don't let anything get between you and the perfect version of this joke and the audience's enjoyment of it. Like that's, that place is sealed off. Sealed off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, yeaah, it was a bit of a process. Yeah. Cause I was really scared coming back to work at first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for the most part I think so. I think it's hard to express, it's painful to talk about, and it's exposing to talk about in a way that I'm not sure if it's safe, you know? So, yeah. But there's a lot of things in life that work on you inside, and there's a lot of ways that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, at first, I think I used to think, how can I bridge that gap? How can I, how can I make that the same? And then I realized, no, that's a good gap. That's a good gap. And it did give me back something I didn't have for a lot of years, which I missed, which was privacy. I'm a different person than other people think I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a lot of people don't know what I've experienced. And that's kind of, I kind of treasure that in a way. So I didn't expect that to be part of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but yeaah, you, also you just have to accept it. It's all, and anybody who's been through anything will tell you that acceptance is how you survive anything. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Radical acceptance is a great phrase. And it is, I think a mom is a good example, it's like the one example, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's too much. Too much, right? It's just overwhelming. A dad can take just how much he wants and then a little more and then brag about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Dads love saying like, oh, it's so hard. I mean, I was up all night. Fuck you. Like, fuck you. Because you can go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's it. It's the only thing that, that stabilizes it is radical acceptance. It's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's not the world anymore. That's just not the world. And also, when it becomes a new condition, it's different for people that have gone through something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like losing a limb or a trauma and then life after that is full of like support and trying to get back. But when your life changes to where it's like, this is hard now, this new version of life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard every day, and there's stuff getting harder. It's not like, when you can't find, I think that's what motherhood is like too, it just gets harder and harder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, yeaah, you just gotta go, okay, just every day, see how you get through this, through this day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, nature really helps going out and seeing the world, the earth, like dirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I used to, I'm not a gardener, but there is a garden in this house I have out on Shelter Island.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't garden, I don't plant anything, but I, it's kind of crazy. I go in there and I just dig, I just get my hands in the dirt, I just touch the soil. And you realize, when you really, how often do you do that? Like almost never, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you put a seed in there, shit grows. It's fucking sick. It's a magical place. And when you just see it as grass pavement, areas that I can walk on to get to the next task.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just are missing the fucking point if you can actually get in there. I got really into, I went to Africa and I try, I almost got, I looked into, I was looking into a tree cause it had gaps in it and this guy ran up and punched me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said, there's black mambo snakes that wait for somebody to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was trying to get, so I was working at the cellar and it was hard there and there was a lot of controversy about my working and I was, I just wanted to get 45 minutes so that I could put a show on that was me announced so that I'm in my own place. And I got there as quick as I could. And then I started doing governors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, mostly because that's the closest club. Yeah. And they're great guys there. They just always invite me back. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but so, yeaah, so, uh, so we, we, so I was there and I was, I was doing shows and there was a ball and it was such, I hadn't, I, I didn't go on stage for 10 months, which is a very long time. Oh my god. And then, uh, this kind of shit at the cellar and then I'm back, it's my own crowd and I'm, I feel, I'm feeling my,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mojo a little bit, I'm getting back and I've been kind of, I hadn't looked at media at all or news because it was scary for me. So I was just, I was a little in the dark about how, what was going on in the world, but I was playing with an idea. It was the first night I did those jokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was just about young people taking themselves very seriously. That was the general thing was that I just remember being that age that we were just jackasses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember watching movies like, uh, Little Darlings with Jodie Foster and Tatum O'Neil, I think it was, as these two girls trying to get laid at camp, with Matt Dillon with cigarettes in his, you know what he's like. And uh, smoking, all teenagers smoking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And poppin', uhm, you know, beer bottle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Caps. That was like what we did. Yeaah. And, and carving, uh, like beer, you know, like cores in a, in a picnic table at the park. Just fucking idiots. And these kids are testifying before Congress, and they're, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Greta and all these people, and I was like, geez. So that was where the, so I, so I was talking with a couple of comedians about these things, and I started spat, I started really getting loose. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said this thing about like, so what if, if you got shot, if somebody, if kids got shot at your school, it doesn't make you particularly knowledgeable about gun control. Right. Just cause you pushed a fat kid in the way so that you didn't, cause you didn't get shot. So I don't have to listen to you. It's just, I'm just being an idiot. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I was reaching with this stuff about trans people with the, with the, uhm, with the pronouns, because what came off to me was a haughtiness, you know, like using a, first of all, a plural for a pronoun, which is royal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Only royalty says we, we, this is how we feel. And so I was playing with that and saying, okay, my, I want to be called a there because I identify as a place and that place is your mother's cunt. This is just me just fucking throwing spaghetti on the walls. I don't give a shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how they develop. It was the first time I tried those jokes. Now, when I develop material that's in tough places, I have a method. I say the worst version. And then usually, they don't like it. But I listen to that. I listen to the, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's a sound in it and I go, okay, I think, I think I know what, either I'm going to take that uuuh and I'm going to play with it.


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[Assistant] Every bit that I have that's like a, that's a great bit, started as a no one wants to hear it. Every single one. So I know this formula. Now honestly, I didn't think


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[Assistant] It needs to be laughed at, scrutinized, played with, questioned.


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[Assistant] It's how we get to know each other. If you really want to get to know someone, you don't sit there and go, and tell me, tell me your experience. You go, so what, what, what is this? What the fuck is this? And what's that? And then they go, I don't know. And you laugh and you know.


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[Assistant] And so that's how I feel. Sure. This is me. But so anyway, when that set hit, it was, it was new year's day or something and it was like a couple months old and suddenly it was there.


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[Assistant] And I kept trying and I got my assistant to try. She couldn't do it. Called my web guy.


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[Assistant] My lawyer called somebody at YouTube and sent a letter and they just wouldn't take it down. And then my assistant started trying taking down other clips that we hadn't bothered to take, you know, some that we just didn't care. It came down immediately. Everything was coming down. So the system was working and alive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this one wasn't going anywhere. And I was like, fuck. That's interesting. Because I had no interest in having a set out in the world. Of course. I was already like, I just wanted nobody to be talking about me. I didn't want to be in the zeitgeist. I was trying to do everything I could.


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[Assistant] To stay low and to only get as straight line as I could to an audience that wanted to hear the jokes and nobody else. Right. And I was so scared because it was getting 100,000 hits, 400,000 hits.


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[Assistant] No. They wouldn't take it down. And so then, the next day, every press organization had it embedded, like Rollingstone.com said, watch the leak set here. Yeah.


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[Assistant] That's yeah, so that's again, that's an easy, easy pickings thing to do and out, but I was in the very hot, red hot, white hot center of it. Sure. And it was a hard hit to take because I already had very little skin. Yeah. And.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I can't really describe how bad it was. It was bad. Yeah. Bad time. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I mean it was, yeah. Thanks. I mean other people have gone through bad things. Yeah, of course. And it's been a hard...


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[Assistant] Yeah, the thing Ricky did talking about comedy, me and Chris and Jerry.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I know Dan. So I'm gonna quote one of his jokes. Okay. So he says that, uh, he's talking about, um, sex ed in school. He says, my teacher gave us sex education. Um, he brought in a banana and he said, children, I'm going to teach you how to put on a condom.


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[Assistant] Maybe it didn't taste good, you know?


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[Assistant] No, I'm not like, I will say this, I'm not afraid of it anymore.


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[Assistant] I think I used to think that would be a nightmare. It would give me nightmares. Something terrible would happen in that, cause that's the way I was raised, you know? But I think that, I mean, that's what my dad every day would tell me. It's a nightmare look. This is how you learn not to do this. No, I think, uh,


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[Assistant] It's kinda, I could take it or leave it now. You know? It's a bunch of foods I haven't tried. And, you know what I mean? I've never been to Hawaii.


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[Assistant] But I think, uh, it wouldn't be the worst thing if I, if there was some reason. I need some reason, you know. There's not, I don't think...


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[Assistant] Nice one. Yeah, it's really nice. Yeah. I had, when I was doing Lucky Louie, I had Rick Shapiro played my brother-in-law.


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[Assistant] He's great too. Well, so HBO came up to me at one point when we were doing the show and they're like, there's no nudity in your show. And there should be some nudity.


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[Assistant] Because HBO back then was just a raw fucking, HBO was the best back then. HBO was all about.


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, when I, when I was a kid, HBO, there was no cable TV, but there was HBO. It was home box office. And it was the thing on top of your TV. It was just this sort of like wood grain thing on your TV that got HBO. You brought it in just for one channel.


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[Assistant] And it was cause you could see people said fuck, there was sex and there was violence. And there was raw comedy and there was really great dramas. It was the best. It was what it was all about. So.


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[Assistant] Anyway, so we were the only sitcom ever done, like, you know, uh, uh, we're the only, um, live- Multicam, right? Multicam sitcom. And, so Rick was this really fucked up, uh, East Village-


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[Assistant] Uh, strange comedian with a weird voice who I love so much. He's also been in most things I've made. He's also a calculated, excellent performer. He can do any voice. So he played my degenerate, but he played Pamela's brother.


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[Assistant] So anyway, HBO came to me and said we need to see some, you know, they meant tits.


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[Assistant] Uh, I did a scene where I'm fully, where I run through the screen and my dick is out.


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[Assistant] Unfortunately. And we did one where Rick comes out of the shower. And he's uhm, he's wearing a towel.


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[Assistant] Like the way a woman does. So it's only down just on his thighs. And he's drying his hair and he stands right next to me. I'm eating cereal. And he goes like this. And his dick is right in my face. Just wig waggly for like three or four takes that I saw his dick. With the audience right there.


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[Assistant] I don't want to put my dick in a woman's butt either. No. I started to.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. But so you like that and you don't, but you're married, but that's okay. You don't have to do it.


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[Assistant] You guys have got a good thing. I mean, I listen to you guys sometimes and it's one of those things, you guys are able to talk like you don't know each other.


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[Assistant] You are, you're able to ask like you just asked him, what are you, what are you, what are you like, or what are you afraid of? You just asked your husband of 14 years what he's afraid of.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's, it's still this far in and you're still interested and curious. You could still, the two of you be in a, go to a party and you'll be in a corner talking to each other. Right.


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[Assistant] Maybe. Well, there's dependable also and there's all those things. But curious is important. And people are changing all the time, so there's always something new to talk about.


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[Assistant] He was under a bit of control there. He was. Yea, he really was. I stepped on a, on a beehive.


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[Assistant] About a month ago, and I lost my mind. Barefoot? No, I was just walking and suddenly they were on me.


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[Assistant] And the crazy thing is I couldn't see even one. I just heard them everywhere and I kept feeling these wicked stinks. And cause I'm fucking bald, like on the top of my head a bunch. And every, they were finding in every, under my socks. And uh, I was so upset. I was running, I was, just me and my dog.


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[Assistant] And I was running and slapping myself. Oh my god. And yelling, I was yelling help. I was literally yelling help.


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[Assistant] Like a few steps and I was winded, I run, I go, I run like four miles a day. I mean not every day, but when I run I can do four, four and a half miles.