[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I respect her scene, but I wouldn't smash him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's kind of like, you know, metallic, glassy, very sharp edges.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not doing a good show. Yeah, that's the most important takeaway from smashing Jiggleleg. And he, he's, he knows, he's all about determinisms and he knows everything that's gonna happen during the play. He sounds boring as hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would preemptively know we're gonna disappoint him, so he would pass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, show the other side because that one has a hole on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I didn't think about that one actually. There's a cat, there's a line from the mythic dawn commentaries that is like his slogan is the forearms that went up. And I wonder where it went up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's the type to kind of gaslight you and make you, like, she really messes with your head, kind of girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I dunno, here I'll put- I didn't actually get that far in the Shadow of Mordor games. But yea, like, take the- take the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it is also implied that that sex is like used as a means of getting what you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well actually that's, that's, yeah. Well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus her realm is pretty cool. With all of the dark seducers and stuff. The nocturnals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can deduce it Scott, in the context. Somebody who chases down


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, can we- A bug. A bug, like, disease.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big time, yeaah. Well no, like, you just cop the nightmares, that's the downside of it. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me have a look. Maybe I've just only seen fanart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As if you wouldn't smash. Doesn't she have the... She's got everything in Daggerfall to smash though. She's about, she looks about alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but look at the cleavage. It goes down past her knees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess we devolved from the moment we started. You got a tiny bit of info about your career and then it just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever. So are you saying that prior to starting videos you didn't really like say like Halo Theater mode or like RedVersion? Were there cinematography in games? Okay. I think I just have like a- I remember being very into that kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea of adding, like making the camera shaky was such a powerful thing because it's like, you can very easily get the most perfectly straight TFC shot in Skyrim, but adding that kind of like post effect of it shaking, making it seem like it was actually kind of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like a Hollywood film where somebody's actually holding a camera. It just re- it brings it to life so much more. It blew me away seeing it for the first time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's part of the, yeah, it's like the reason why all of these animators turned to Let's Plays. Because that was just the new way to, to optimise YouTube. But then Let's Plays became so stale as a result of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, people aren't gonna be watching just for the person making it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've jumped on a train that I wouldn't recommend anyone get on. I don't know if it's in your Twitter bio, but it's like trying to keep Skyrim alive until Elder Scrolls 6 comes out. It's like, we've been doing this for a while and it's gonna take it to the top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd almost be willing to say that the fanbase for ESO is kind of surpassing. Obviously there's a lot of crossover and most people play all of them, but I feel like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The active community in ESO is insanely high for how old it is and not being like a water warcraft. Like most MMOs don't really endure with such a big player base.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because that's the thing, it's like uhm, even if we were MMO guys, and I'd say it's probably the same for you, is that it's not, obviously it's not the kind of game that is designed for people who like to make content. It's, you know, you can't go in there and, yeah, exactly. We've tried to talk to Bethesda about getting like access to some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like maybe exclusively on the PTS server or something, but yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Elder Scrolls really is a dream for that kind of thing, because no other game gives you anywhere close to that kind of control. Like, ehm, it's a while since our last one, but for a long time I was making Witcher videos for the channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I downloaded some mods that would essentially give you the free camera and allows you to pause time and things like that. And, uh, for a game that's not designed for you to have freedom with its tools and its console commands and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Games are broken off screen. Like, for example, in The Witcher, if you access the free camera, because it's not designed around this, you pull your camera away from Geralt, and if something isn't in his line of sight, it is like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's that painter with the, the, the dahlies? With the clocks that are all dripping off?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, uh, everything is a mess. So you go slightly off camera. If a, if a NPC walks off camera while you're recording them, their eyes will shoot out and start twisting and their face will just start drooping and their limbs will be going around like this. And it gets, it's like a nightmare. It's something you read on a copy past.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's the funny thing about Cyberpunk, is obviously that's made by the same guys as the Witcher CD, CD Projekt Red.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the glitches people were having, and like they blew up because they were so funny to look at, I was familiar with all of these glitches because the difference is in the Witcher they optimised it enough to keep you from seeing them, whereas in Cyberpunk they just left them for everyone to enjoy on screen, so it's like almost every glitch I saw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost every glitch I saw I was like, oh yea, I've seen that in The Witcher when I was breaking it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My problem with the game was actually nothing to do with bugs, cause like, when I first played Skyrim, the Thieves Guild bugged out for me and I didn't have any save, so that was permanent for me, and things like that. They don't bother me if a game is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But my problem with cyberpunk was that it just felt completely empty to me. Like there was just nothing going on and I just lost interest, but I could still play it to just drive around and see the world, but that's all I would do and use this photo mode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is hard to play Skyrim. Yeah, it is hard to play Skyrim when you're so used to just breaking it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we have picked it clean. It's like we're vultures around a carcass that's just been lying there in the desert for 10, 11 years. It's like there's only so much meat you can get off this in terms of like, yeah, you, you start to, you see absolutely everything and, uh, the floors do stand out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, like I think that applies to just about anything creative, is that the creators need to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The freedom to let their ideas come to life. You can't be taking outside input constantly and that that's going to be harder and harder for Bethesda to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bigger they are as a company and the more expectation that's on them. So yeah, like it, I mean, they've done a pretty good job of just shutting themselves off, showing us a couple of bits and pieces and then like, all right, you know, deal with that for a few years and then we'll come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've got high hopes. But Starfield will be the way of knowing, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fallout was very good at that. You know, like you'll constantly come into an abandoned house that might not even have a loading zone and a door and you'll see, say like, how the skeletons are arranged in the house will tell a story that has zero words. You don't even need any text or anything to tell you a little story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The best horror films don't have any jump scares. Like just to compare a couple like, you know, I really liked Hereditary. I don't know if you've seen that, but compared to say Paranormal Activity, Paranormal Activity is going to jump scare you every five minutes, but it's not going to leave you there. Like you're not going to leave it thinking, wow, that was creepy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think the top comment is the obvious one, cause we said, comment it on the theories video. So if I'm going there and looking, theory by E.J. Dubs, the last Diagonian maid led to spears being banned throughout Cyrodiil. That's why the most common weapon in human history mysteriously did not appear in later games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's finally been revealed. He's got his red on. Empire colours. Classic. That's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has these shadows in Elder Scrolls Online, just called like Rajin's shadows, and they go around causing mischief, which aligns more with this theory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess, but getting foundational here. I didn't think I'd have to do this, but getting foundational here. Mike the Liar appears, you know, through, through multiple games as this Easter egg, and he doesn't seem to be the same character every time, or you wonder, you know, how is he living for so long, so on and so forth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and he's, he tells lies, right? Like he's mischievous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is my, this is my point is it's like he's, he's been around in all these games. Yeah. Okay. He's just an Easter egg, but what sounds more likely in a fantasy world that there's a tradition where there's these Kijit who just roam around Tamriel using the same name, telling lies to people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or, because it's an aspect of a god. I know it sounds far-fetched, but like, we're talking about a fantasy universe here, who is known as a trickster god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's like someone came along and said, Scott's, one of Scott's favorite deities is like Nazeem and that Nazeem's an aspect of him and, or something like that. Yeah, like Nazeem's an aspect of Mafal and you're like, no, no, no, they're different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair, if you do look at the Elder Scrolls online lore, and you look at these, these kind of, um, these shadows, they kind of just look like ethereal beings walking around, representing different aspects of Rajin,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they do kind- like here's an example, like one of Rajin's shadows granted a wish to a bard who wanted the power to seduce any person he wished with music. And so he gave him this magical lyre. That's what you call it, right? That instrument, L-Y-R-E. Like, Maek the lyre? Ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the, it was some kind of double-edged sword, almost like a bit of a Sheogorath move where it bred so much jealousy, um, among other like bardic rivals that he was slain out of frustration.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's not like some epic heist thing, right? But it's a, it's a part of Rajin that led to that. And there's other ones, for example, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, there's one representing desire. Like, you know, they can represent different things. So my, it could be some sort of aspect that only represents one part of Rajin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why not just fake your death? I mean, that's true, cause he kinda did, like, in the Dark Brotherhood questline, like you're saying, there was the double. Like, there is the emperor that you, you use the, it's the Jaren root, right? As you're mixing the cauldron and you're telling her to add a septum and all these little meme things that Scott absolutely loved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of that kind of stuff, an effort to have only the double, it's kind of like, well, it's kind of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the Mortier didn't really seem like, uh, like he was like in on something where it was very much like the Emperor ordered this. Like it, you know, it felt like it genuinely came from, you know, him and the people that he represents.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To play devil's advocate, it could be because the commander was trying to catch you and the emperor didn't really have a choice. Like if the commander came to the emperor and was like, you're gonna get assassinated I think, we should put a double in. You can't have the emperor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the comments are talking about the Alduin theory that we were going through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like kind of adding to it, the whole theory about uhm, the dragonborn being sent to defeat Alduin so that the world can end eventually, cause Alduin wasn't, you know, sticking to his duties. Thanks for all this insight after I'm already like making my video all about it, but uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently the dragon at, um, Kynesgrove actually says, in the dragon language, has the time come to resurrect our ancient realm? And Alduin says, yes, my champion. So, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that is an interesting theory. There's a little bit of corn and beans action going on with, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a cool- it is a cool theory though, like as- at least the first two parts that- that sound-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and to free him and things like that from that state. I mean, it's not like, obviously it's not rock solid with tons of evidence, but I mean, it's a theory, right? Like none of these things are super backed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they are separate, right? Like, I mean, you can kind of revere Trinamac and get some kind of metaphysical bonus from that, right? Or you could argue, yeaah, it is still a corrupted version of Malacath and you just get a different kind of feedback from said. It's hard to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that. By the way, the theory on Mike the Liar had a second theory in the comment, which is basically that the night, people probably have heard this one, but that the Night of Tears was a lie created by the Itmorrans to basically justify their attack on the snow elves and to be seen as heroes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, it's funny, it's funny, the, the, the theory that, the idea that backs that up is basically that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, it's not the best, but the idea is that there are no snow elves to talk about it and, uh, Gelobor basically says,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, oh, we were kinda always at war, like these two sides, we always had issues, and then the Night of Tears idea,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, hey, it's just a game theory, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh for sure, there's a lot of atmore and cope around, 100%.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I-I-I agree. It's kind of the problem with a lot of conspiracies, even, uhm, in real life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that they assume a very high level of unity and coordination and like basically like all the different moving parts are one big part when it's like there's a lot of like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are so many like thousands of factors and different people with slightly varying motives and like different views and, you know, it's, it's, it's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a way, it's quite hard to comprehend, like, a lot of what's happening and why. Honestly, I feel like it's their work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I'm not even like anti cons- like, you know, conspiracy theories are interesting and, you know, sometimes they turn out to be true. It's just like, a lot of the time it's your basic like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want money or like, you know, like, and the same would happen in the Elder Scrolls universe. It could just be like, you know, this one leader is basically like, oh, I want, you know, to achieve X, Y, Z. So let's do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, it's fun, right? Like, that's the whole point of the theories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kinda like, you can watch that video and believe, believe it. Like by the end of it you're like, that could be true and it's backed up to enough where you can't be like, oh that's, that's stupid or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is that comment about the orc, dwarf, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In order to keep his place at the top, he purposely fails to end the kalpa for fear it will reduce his power.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This would explain why he intervenes in Oblivion to thwart Mehrunes Dagon, and in Skyrim by sending a dragonborn to stop Adol. And he wants to keep his place at the top, but has to put in a token effort to end the kalpa, so he sabotages himself to keep it going. I don't know if I fully agree with that, if- if-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea is that Alduin kinda isn't there to end the world, like he wouldn't really be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean like I get the uhm, I get the premise and also in Oblivion it's, I don't know if it's Akatosh intervening as much as it's just like the amulet has his power kinda like in it and Martin uses it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess it does align with the insane god theory though, that like, he doesn't know what he wants and there's multiple aspects. Like, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a place of power for sure. Or like a place of... I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be, to be fair, I mean, I mean, this is kinda obvious, but, uh, you know, being, like, the comment says, like, as well, like, being the personification of chaos, it would make sense that land made by him would be more alien and chaotic, but I do think they're different, like, what,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like alien is, is from a reference point, right? Like just because Morrowind has a giant bug that you can ride doesn't mean that that's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chaos! It's just like, they ride giant bugs. It's weird to you if you're not from there. Yeah. But if you're born there, it'd be quite orderly. You know, I get on my Silk Strider and I go around and I'm here at this time or whatever. You know what I mean? Like it's not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess we're- chaotic too, like, if you wanna look at chaotic, there's plenty of provinces that have seen heaps of chaos.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but like you said, Black Marsh is pretty alien looking. And I'm sure the Coral Kingdoms of Thras and all that are all very like strange and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like, I just want to shout out this comment by Gabezilla that timestamps 2435 on the last Theory Out episode. Shout out. Shout out. My man. Being the nice guy and creating an interdimensional portal to scratch Scott's ear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I actually watched it. You like go like this and then like Scott's hand comes into it. Oh really? I didn't even notice that. Nah, it's good. Go check that out. See? Shout out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, but if there was a new cycle, it could have like, you know, some story in it about this world called Narn. Just interesting to think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if though, when the world ends, these, this kind of skin ball just unravels and he can just like, put it together into a new world?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm ready for the next one. You're ready for the next one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Theory I'm quite proud of, Molag Bao's driving emotion is insecurity and fear that he gained when Mehrunes Dagon brought him low in lig, possibly tormenting him as well. Molag Bao is an archetype of the abuser, whose abuse creates more abusers, in brackets of vampires.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This type of personality very typically comes from the contextual, contextual nexus of entitlement and insecurity, when one feels deep down that they're not as strong as they should be, but also feeling that they can resolve this problem by demonstrating their power over others.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the 36 Lessons of Effect, we learn that Mulag Baal wants love and feels deeply unloved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vivec then proceeds to seduce Merlach Bauer only to insult and casts away Bauer after Vivec reveals he was only trying to steal the secret of Kim.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes me wonder if his theorized relationship with Azura in League had a similar vibe when Baal was assaulted by Dagon. Azura left him because she is self-centered. Baal may have become the king of rape because he has never had a healthy consens- consensual relationship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like we could make a video on that and like dive into it deeper. Give credit of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And let's be very clear too, put your theories below this podcast episode and if we don't say it or didn't say it, just write it again if you think it's really good and back it up harder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well, social media links are in the description, as is a link to our Patreon if you wanna help support this podcast and the channel in general. Uh, it's been Scott, Michael, and Drew, and we look forward to nerding out with you again very soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's impressive for multiple reasons as well, because not much about their culture is truly built to last. You know, they don't have, like say the aliens, they have these grand citadels where, you know, even once they're gone,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, time and the weather can come along and they- it still endures and you can still see remnants of it. But the reach folk have always been in a highly contested area of Tamriel where lots of powers over history have vied for control of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yet they've endured despite not really having architecture built to endure. It's like them as a people have endured. And it's not for one of trying because plenty of cultures, as we're gonna get into, have tried to eradicate them or push them out. Yet they remain the reach folk named after the area that they inhabit and still do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, even in the earliest of times, when you've got characters like Red Eagle dealing with the power of the Cyrodiilic Empire under Empress Hestra, you know, these are early days when


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aside from some magic and myth, there's not a whole lot about the Reach folk that you could say, oh, there's no chance they would be able to hold up against the might of an empire. Yet for a very long time they did, and even when the empire comes along and tries to crush them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and this is all fairly recent lore that really helps to flesh out the Reach vote, because you, obviously we knew about Briar Hearts before truly knowing the reason they would do this. Like, you know, you've got, uhm, it harkens back to, was Red Eagle the first Briar Heart?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like, we've, we've, once you establish their, their religion and their belief in Lorc, and Lorc sacrificing his heart for the realm, it really puts into perspective the importance of the Briarhearts in their culture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, because like, replacing your heart with the Briar is, is in some way representative of, of you sacrificing the same way Lorc sacrificed for your people to be able to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of these attitudes do spring from cultures where, you know, as we discussed before, history is being documented.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you've got the, the importance of your legacy, your family tree. You know, if you're looking through, say, Western European history through the Middle Ages, you have all the dynasties of all of the kings and queen of the lords and, and all of that stuff. But if you're not, if you just have oral traditions and you're not obsessed with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Putting your name down in history and things like that, uhm, it does shift the focus of what is actually important. It's more about the unity of your tribe and the strength and your ability to survive and have children and whatnot rather than putting your family name in the history books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just got a few guys who know all of this. Yeah, supposedly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess that's one of those awkward things where things are very important at one time in history, but then we have games that came out earlier that are much more advanced that have absolutely no record of any of this stuff, so it kind of starts to contradict itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As far as we know, it's quite unlike the Reachmen to really push outside of what they consider their own land. So for the Longhouse Emperors, for Durkarak to have ambitions so lofty to move into Cyrodiil, to take the Empire, and then to move into High Rock, it's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ambition of having Cyrodiil, The Reach and High Rock might have been a bit too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there are a few races like that that seem to like fall out of favor or have something bad happen to them historically and then they just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When the, the, if the Dwemer and the Reachman kind of came into contact, would they have just had an agreement that like, look, you're mostly subterranean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, we, we want to rule the ca- you know, the caves and the mountains and live off the land on top of it. Um, we can just kind of coexist. And this ca- you know, Markov could potentially have acted as some kind of like, um, ambassadorial kind of location where the Dwemer exist in the Reach. And the Reachmen perhaps would have just allowed it to happen as well. Potentially.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very, like, I guess that is, it's subterranean but at very surface level. I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I get the idea with the Reach vote that, you know, I mentioned it before about the kind of the strength of the tribe and maybe not an obsession with permanence the way some other cultures have, uhm, and peri-ite would become very important in that sense that, you know, if a disease breaks out in one


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, group, then perhaps that's, you know, nature's way of letting you know that you're becoming too densely populated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not going to be able to maintain everyone's, you know, there's not going to be enough food for everyone or living spaces getting too cramped, things like that. So viewing that through a positive lens that if the population decreases a bit, then the prosperity of those who survive will increase does make sense for worshipping period.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it does make sense as well, because if we're talking about other Reachmen have been around for so long, and they would have predated the foundation of Elise's covenant with Akatosh, things like that, and we know Molek Baal was wandering


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Understanding their spirituality, it puts a lot of what we know about them into context.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and makes it more interesting, like a final thing on Molag Bal is, it seems like their spirituality is very padamaic in nature, and there are similarities you can draw to the, say, the Koshini Pantheon and to the Dunmeri Pantheon, and you know, with the Dunmer, Molag Bal, for example, is considered one of the House of Troubles, you need to avoid him as much as possible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but perhaps the reason for that is because he tries to mess with the bloodlines, and perhaps in Dunmer culture, bloodlines are much more important to the people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas in, in Reach Society, you know, as we talked about earlier, it's kind of like, you can kind of become kin with people, not necessarily just by keeping your bloodline pure. So the negatives associated with Moloch Bound may not be quite so deal breaking for them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, if there's one thing about the Elder Scrolls community, there is no shortage of crazy conspiracy theories. And I mean, we're all desperate at this point, so we're finding lore that doesn't exist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem I have with a lot of these kinds of theories is that the geography in the Elder Scrolls doesn't make any sense. You know, like, if Skyrim is very far north, uhm, province, and it's, you know, frozen over, and, uhm, Atmora is too, you can almost imagine it like, you know, the frozen seas around Antarctica, then you can, you can come up with some cool theories, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Skyrim is right next to two places that are much more temperate. If you can, you can't really call Morrowind temperate, but you know what I mean. Yeah, hot. It, it, it feels a bit weird to, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To suggest that this kind of thing, not only that, but if you- if we're comparing it to like real world, oh, you know, ice sheets, this is how people got from here to there, and maybe it's the same in the Elder Scrolls universe, you're not really dealing with-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's also the problem of, which we've kind of touched on, is how much is metaphorical. You know, part of the theories for Atmora's considerable change in climate comes from, you know, Songs of the Return, where they talk about green Atmora, I can't remember the exact quotes, but how green it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can, in, in such poetic stories like that, you can see how maybe it's just metaphorical speak for this was the, you know, the green grass of home essentially versus like, oh, it's literally gone through ice ages and things in, in a couple of thousand years and things like this, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something I'd always considered is that if they are actually trying to unmake the world by destroying the towers, part of being in Skyrim is to try and discover that fact. Whereas this all seems a bit calculated for something that is so unknown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then you can't spend that money, bro. That's the joke. That's the joke, bro. Can you spend the money in a furious? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it would, in a way, it would make sense with the Underforged, because if you have some of the early, early needs, you know, the kind of, uhm, ones who you would associate with the Reachmen now, who worshipped her scene and Lorc, that version of Lorcan, then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a way, it is possible that perhaps the Underforged was their shrine to her scenes slash lore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone has tried to cover up since then, so that would explain why the snow elves, maybe if the snow elves were later than certain early needs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, cause we don't really know what the deal is with the snow elves. And then the Atmorans, it would explain why none of them really have any idea what it's all about. But I'm trying to figure out what the motivation is and who would build the Skyforge on top of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause most every time we hear about it, it's someone saying, we don't know what this is or we fear it or, you know, so it's, it's, it's hard to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus there's uhm, you know, with the adamantine tower, that's one of the examples of something where...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even when, you know, uh, intelligent say like, masons look at it and they're like, it's impossible for mortals to have built that, therefore it was built by the gods at the start of creation, but you don't really have that with the Skyforge, it's not like this was impossible for early humans or early elves to make, it's entirely possible that any group with any motivation could have built it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I'll be honest, I was a bit distracted trying to figure out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's Geshe's conspiracy origins. Is he like an apocryphal or something? Or is he just a dude sitting at his computer with like a massive...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Our first Conspiracies podcast, we'd lose the audio, even though it had secret Todd recordings on it, and now Starfield gets delayed. There's no coincidences here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Why? Like the way he says it sounds more like flirting. You know what I mean? Cause doesn't he have a really good relationship with a yarl? Uhm, Nazeem? Is it with a yarl? How does it sound like flirting?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so to simplify it, I mean, like the two ways you can look at it really is having a house Dwemer could be for two reasons. One is because it was a diplomatic move by Nehruvar to kind of tell the Dwemer that, look, we are friends with you. We've got this first council.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have your own, you know, uh, you're a house, so to speak, honorary position. Or if you take it more literally, perhaps they are somewhat of an offshoot from the Velothi people when they came over. And cause you know, they're not


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From what we've seen of what the Dwemer look like, it's not out of question that they have very similar origins. Uhm, and you know, it could have just been slight variations from going underground and doing things differently. It could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I guess he was saying that we're trying to suppress it. One thing to- It's not much history considering the age of the elves as well, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Although some of these sound more like Yakudans, some of them sound like Yakudan names.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you can justifiably say that even if they have similar origins, going different ways culturally, you can see, like, the way they name things and themselves would change over time. So if we're gonna draw connections between the Dunmer and the Dwemer,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are better ways to do it than by analyzing their names, I think. Yeah, probably. But it's fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it feels honorary as well because you, you, you, you can imagine that the Dwemer don't really care about being considered a great house. They're, they're not really that interested in politics with anything, with anyone but their own councils.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, exactly. Plus, you know, from a player perspective, if you go into Werewolf Transformation, you can be a good guy, but from their perspective, in the world, in the lore, your mind is not there, you're insane, you just want to rip people to shreds, and considering White One's population is about 50.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea look, the companions aren't great guys, I think that's fair to say. And their quest is a bit crap too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Jiggalag's a weird one. Cause it's like, he knows everything, in a way. He knows the outcomes of whatever's coming next. How do you implement that in a story in a very good way, unless you really nerf his powers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now that he's free, it's almost like, does he just want to avoid all this crap, rather than getting involved at all?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I quickly transform this into a hot takes podcast for one second? Yea go. Okay. I would, to get, say, say the, say Starfield comes out in June next year, first half next year. Say no more delays. That's, I was gonna say, that's fast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, before the hot take, I think that that delay was the delay before the actual delay, so I think they've decided to split the delay in half, and it's actually they're going for November release. They won't ditch the November release. And they'll do a really juicy E3 to keep the hype going. Yeah, so I think there'll be another delay, but anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, my hot take is I would, I would personally go into Bethesda HQ, delete every starfield file, all the master files, remove absolutely everything just so that they can use this time between now and the end of the delay to work on Elder Scrolls 6. I would scrap the entire game just to get 6 months off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the minds of everyone. Honestly, we're like, up until now, I mean, probably not this long, but for the longest time, it was always kinda funny, you know, like, oh, it's taking forever, but we'll get there, we'll get there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, they did that with a witcher, it's like cyberpunk got bad publicity, so they conveniently show one image of their next game, school of the links, or whatever it is, despite no work being done on it. It's like, it's what you have to do now, it's all just about having a good image.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, talking about the, uhm, I mean, I have no idea, I'm just, just pitching this, but talking about the kind of meme characters...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why, why Azura for the adoring fan? Like is it, is it just a common thing for everyone in Cyrodiil to use by Azura as a phrase? Or is it, is that just him who says that? I'm trying to think now from the top of my head if it's a common phrase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. What is the deal with Imperial, like, you know, in Cyrodiil and Azura? You know, that's a very obscure fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you gotta remember, like, she comes out of this, like, this crazy ornate crypt that you have to, like, open, and then she falls out of it, posing no threat to anyone. She's a cutie, and she's got an Elder Scrolls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Access, potential access to illusion magic or, you know, combined with just general charisma. You can have, you can influence people in, in interesting ways. And like the idea that she's using some form of magic to, to help get her, get her way is entirely possible for just about anyone to use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's crazy. That was such a good quote, wasn't it? Oh, it was definitely. Like, all 80s. Such an 80s quote, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know like your finger on the key? It's like, you know when you put your finger on the key? It's like, it's like the, it's like the outside of like the tip of your finger, so it like sort of makes it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm playing, I bought them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey everybody, welcome back. Uhm, I can't see my keyboard, and I can't type properly. Uhm, so what's up man, how's it going? Why can't you see, why can't you see?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause, cause I'm dumb, okay? I'm really, I'm a really, really dumb guy. Are you, are you blind? Did something happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I went off, I got conscripted, I went off to fight in Vietnam and uhm, I was out on a patrol in the jungle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And one thing led to another and now I have an eye patch. And it really affects my hand-eye coordination in a big way. So I can't type properly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I'm too lazy and traumatized to uhm, to get it looked at, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought I would just go on the internet and complain about it. To you. Mostly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I mean sometimes I look at my keyboard if I have to, you know, do like a really tricky, tricky keyboard maneuver sort of thing, like use a tilde or maybe like a dash or something that I'm not always used to using. Sometimes I have to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But otherwise, no. I don't really look at it at all. What about you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you backspace a lot? Like will you delete the whole word and then just retype it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or do you just backspace what you need? Are you an efficient backspacer or are you a non-efficient backspacer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, alright, well let's agree to disagree because I don't think that they would ever know, but still. Did you learn to touch type as a kid, or like when you were younger? I learned the quick brown fox jumps over the fence typing, remember that one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had to like, you had to type that out a million times until you sort of got good at typing. That's how I learned. That's how they did it back in the 80s. Until you got good at typing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you had to do it. You had to like up your, your, you know, your keystrokes per minute. That was like the thing. So like if you could type that sentence out super duper fast, you were like a proficient.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, okay, well you're gonna be a secretary. Even if that's not what you want it to be. Because apparently they're the only people in the whole world who do any typing whatsoever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if I was in a situation where I had to file a police report very quickly where actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you've discounted that. I think you're very dismissive. I think you're very dismissive of the facts. Okay, I think you just jumped to conclusions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's why I've invented a new kids toy, which is a mat, and it's called to a jump to conclusions map. And you have to literally hopscotch your way to conclusions, do you remember that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I look like a god on my own YouTube channel, cause I can edit all that stuff out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I have no control over like another kid's YouTube channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well what I do is I put my bathing suit on, stand in front of the mirror and take pictures of myself, mostly. Right. Why do you do that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I think it's interesting. I think it makes me look interesting. I would like to see other people doing it as well. So like I'm trying to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to encourage other people to do it. Trying to create a scene of people who like to show themselves off in their bathing suits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but like the thing is I'm lazy so I don't always post pics of myself, but trust me I'm looking at all of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I do have one thing to say about that, and that's that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never actually wore the rubber underpants, okay? I just bought them for research purposes, and I threw them away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty much instantly. Uhm, but you know what I mean? I don't know if I care about that. I know people get really sort of uptight about that invasion of privacy and they're watching everything you do and stuff like that. The thing is, yeaah, there's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's records of all that kind of stuff. All the stuff that you look at, all the stuff that you do. I mean, think about your average person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are they doing on the internet? What are they looking at? Probably a bunch of dumb shit. Probably a bunch of gross shit as well. Like, you just don't really think about it until it's presented to you sort of thing, right? Like, you know, like if somebody was trying to make a case against somebody for being like a wild fucking pervert or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think it's good in the sense that if people are really fucking deranged and they're trying to figure out ways to like kill thousands of people at once and stuff like that and they have some way of identifying these people and then stopping them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a pretty good thing. You know, I don't think it's too bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't agree with it, but I'm glad in a way that it happens, if you know what I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? I don't want them to do it to me, but I'm glad that they do it to other people. If I'm brutally honest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't, and we never will, but the thing is you have to remember as well that a lot of this stuff is in context, right? Like you, I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Arguably 20, 30 years ago, uhm, I would say that, uhm, religion sort of being intertwined with state was a lot more common and had a lot more sort of power and sway, whereas nowadays I don't think it does so much because I think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's been a lot of movement against that over the past like 10, 20 years where it's like, you know, separate church from state, you know, don't make decisions based on religion or whatever. We have a society and a government. We need to make these and, and I think that like a lot of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the stuff that was sort of, uh, said about, uhm, people who are gay and stuff like that a long time ago was, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was off the back of religion as well, because I think still now I don't think, I don't think religion accepts it at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think now society, and certainly government, has accepted it a lot more. You know, because there's a lot more rights, isn't there? Like, I mean, uhm, two men can get married now, legally, in a lot of places, whereas that never happened, like 20, 30 years ago. In fact, that would be outrageous 20 or 30 years ago, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the, because the way that society works and the way that it has worked is uhm, you know, people become a lot more lax with things and become a lot more liberal about things, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just, things are just become more acceptable. Certain things, obviously not everything. But certain things become a lot more acceptable over time and stuff like that and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People in the future who are going to become politicians won't be judged on the same things that, uhm, their predecessors were. Like, at all. You know what I mean? Like, maybe like when Reagan was running for president and somebody found out that he had like an, like, you know, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that it shows that like tolerances change over time so, you know, we're not always going to be judged for like the same


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is somebody standing right behind you right now and you're passively aggressively pointing this out to them in a recording?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, uhm, but. Cause that would be hilarious. I mean, I would say, can we get a webcam for this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were in the middle of, uhm, wetting your whistle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the landlord decided, fuck this guy, this is my flat, uhm, I'm gonna show around, uhm, one of the potential new...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, tenants. The flat. And they walked in. And there you are. Completely naked. On a leather couch. All lubed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're like, you know, I have rights. And everybody started screaming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bonsered by findaflat.co.uk. You need a flat? We got em.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about that time your boiler went down though? Cause that was, that was, that went wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it the duvet that your great, great nan gave to you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, nevermind. Yeah, brand new ones are always the worst. That's why you should always get an old place, man. They're, you know, they're tried-tested and true. Yeah, made of actual bricks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, did this whole thing happen while you were in your pajamas? Cause that's what most of it did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the landlord and the pipe inspector all came over and there you are sitting in your pajamas. The thing is, you know, you're saying that your landlord's a cunt, but if you want to be taken seriously, maybe put a fucking suit on next time before somebody comes over?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's happened before. Your neighbors actually come over and ask you for shit. You gotta fucking move. Holy shit. Your place sounds really bad. Like, in every way. Well, I'll tell you something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't fucking care and guess what motherfucker? Yes, right? I've got them on under my jeans right now, and you pulled your pants right down They're like sir. We're gonna take you in


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Send it to the fucking police next time. See how he likes that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, sir, we're gonna have to, uh, take you in. Seems that you've been, uh, letting yourself into, uh, somebody's flat with a key. If you're a woman. You fucking asshole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what you said to him? No, I said- You had a dream about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a great story. Honestly, I wasn't sure where it was going at first, but it ended with a bang. Holy fuck, that was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think you're right about that. I think most people will assume that you're some sort of diva based on how you handled that. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like last time, I mean, let's take stock a second. What did you ramble about last time I played this game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You said you didn't like teachers, you didn't like landlords, you had a deep distrust of dentists for some reason. I don't even know where that came from.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know better than your doctor apparently. Uh, which is bullshit. I mean those guys have to train really hard. Like for you to walk in with your like turtle neck in your glasses and think that you know better is just bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My doctor actually said that to me. He's like, God, I hate the internet. I said, why doc? What's wrong with the internet? I love it. You know, like I play games on the internet, hang out with my friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can have a good time while we're all online. And he's like, yeah, but you know how many armchair doctors it's created? And I was like, oh fuck yeah, I never really thought about that. He got all these guys who go on to like WebMD and they're like, oh shit, I had a really itchy ass this morning. Guess that must mean that I have AIDS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be reassured. Especially if you can go for free too, right? Like, I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it, cause everything costs money over there. Like if you get, if you lose two fingers, okay, in like a, in a bandsaw accident or whatever, and you manage to find the two fingers out in a field, and you put them in an icebox and you take them to the hospital, Doc!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I lost my fingers, stitch me up. And then he could be like, okay, well to stitch up your index finger, that's going to cost you $15,000. Uh, to stitch up your middle finger, that's going to cost


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hope you don't mind. And I'd be like, yea sure. Fuckin' do it. Get right up in my ass. I don't mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you know what? I'm very selective with my comment reading. I like reading tips and stuff. Not so much reading about how I'm retarded. So, I tend to skip those ones. I don't know if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel the same, but having somebody point out my mental limitations is not a way I like to spend my quality free time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I would love to, yeah. Please be selective though, don't break my heart. My achy breaky heart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what? That guy has excellent observational skills. I mean that's, that's something, isn't it? He's right though. That is, you figured us out everybody. That is the format of our channel. For now anyway. We have plans, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, well, well, plans. No, not really. We don't really. I was just trying to get you excited, but hopefully.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well what video are you reading the comments from? Cause that might give you a clue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, no, okay. Where I grew up, my friends, we did not get milk at school, okay? We had to bring all of our own shit. And if you think that I brought milk with me in my bag to school,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were mistaken, okay? We had to bring our own McCain juice boxes to school, because our school would not provide us with anything. We didn't get pencils, we didn't get paper, we had to pay for our own books.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit, it was awful. Like, it was like, in the 80s, right? When they were like clamping down on all that kind of stuff. Cause I think in the 60s and 70s,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were fine, you know, you went to school and they just gave you everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then maybe in England they gave you a bit more after the fact, but not in, uhm, not where I grew up, in Canada. It's like, pretty hardcore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bring everything. So no, I did not drink milk at school. I drank...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably apple juice that I had to bring from my own home that my parents had to buy themselves. It was tough times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to walk on my hands to school for 20 miles every day with no shoes on my hands either. It's terrible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you had to eat your own penis? For sustenance?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, tell me more about what it's like to just be the filthiest fucking millennial in the entire world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the reason is, is that the sugar that you get in fruit juice and coca cola and stuff like that isn't like, uh, intertwined with like any fiber or anything like that, so you-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, the naturally occurring sugar that you get by eating a piece of fruit or, you know, sugar that you might get in like, uhm, I dunno, like cereal or something like that, takes longer for your body to like, actually absorb and process sort of thing. So it's, it is actually better for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but if you have sugar that is in a juice or like in a coke or something like that, it's straight up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, listen, I've got some advice, okay? If you think that we're idiots and we don't know what we're talking about, that's fine. But, I will give you some good advice right now that goes a little something like this, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ready? Yeah. You ready for this one? Yeah. I think that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have everything in moderation, you will be fine, okay? If you want to eat a piece of cake, go for it. But don't have 50 million pieces of cake in one day, okay? Have a piece of cake, but also have like a nice meal that has like some veg in it. Maybe like a bit of meat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do a bit of exercise in the day as well, that would be good as well. Get outside, get some vitamin D.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, don't do- don't do a bit of everything if you're already morbidly obese, okay? That is- that is not a good idea. If you're morbidly obese-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go on an action plan so that you can get down, you know, get your BMI within the limits and stuff, and then, do a little bit of everything, and you'll be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There. That's some solid advice for free as well. I mean, come on. That's free. That's free advice. I think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, everybody is going to really lay it on you in a major way now, that they know that it upsets you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, come on, they're not that bad, jeez. You have to, you know what, you know what the best way to deal with YouTube comments is? Imagine that they're all written by the guy from the South Park episode of Wow. You know the guy with like the fucking wrist brace? Uhm, and he was sitting there with his like maxed out, twinked out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Min-Mak's World of Warcraft character. You know the big guy? Imagine that every comment on YouTube is written by him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then read them in the voice of Hans Moleman from The Simpsons, and it makes them a million times better.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, give me some fucking Snickers bars or something, that'd be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's fine man. Don't worry. I know. I feel the same way. When I read a YouTube comment, sometimes I like rage out too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's very true. It helps me make sense of the world around me. Okay? Don't judge. Yeah. I'll do all the judging around here. You millennial.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all wrong, and I'm right about pretty much everything, I would say. What do you think of that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't really been keeping up on all of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I do, actually. I'm glad that you asked me about this, Lewis. Uhm, I follow the philosophical teachings of a man called Carl Pilkington. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did mention him. I think that, I think that that is a guy who knows what's up in a lot of ways actually. You know, he asks the real questions. He wants the real answers as well. And you know, I think it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just deep, you know? It just makes you think. It just takes you down to that level.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you were trying to complete my sentences and I wasn't paying attention to you doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Read the lovely ones. Come on, I need it today. I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps. Uh, you know, I want- I wanna read- Oh, sips! Holy shit! I can just tell you've got a huge dick! Oh, I bet you it is gigantic! Oh, and it probably glistens in the moonlight, and it's probably got like really-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, alright, well, uh, join us next time where hopefully we, uhm, offend you more, uhm, with just us being raging, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's having some sort of seizure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get out of the dumpster, Lewis, come on. Uuuh, okay. Get your, get your pecker up, come on. So tell me about what other- Get it up and start, start slamming it. Start pounding away. Start pounding away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've, uh, we've, we've pushed forward the science to the point where we can finally happily announce to you that breakfast can be served all day instead of just until ten o'clock. Well, all it took was, uh, we had to hire another


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I ate breakfast at McDonald's every day. Now I could eat breakfast every day and every night. Like, shut up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're trying to creep up on someone and all you hear is like BOOM. BOOM. Oh, it's old tree trunk legs behind me. Gives you like a 20 minute warning so you can start running.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I reckon if we did a Triforce tour bus, we would need a tank that also needs to be fed to feed back into previous episodes. Like we have to stop in a cafe, the tank has to eat, that's what we need, a tank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we decided that the tank needed to be fed as well. So I think it would be good if we had the Triforce, the Hungry Tank Tour and the tank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they have a dad, then by definition their dad isn't shooting blanks. Think about it. Your joke is illogical, captain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And ironically, you are missing out on arguably the best patch that Dota's had since I can remember. There's very little wrong with it. It's an amazing patch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There did used to be a lot of shooters that didn't have a crosshair. I'm trying to think of one. There was one I played, uh, for quite some time. There was no crosshair, and like, you had to go iron sights down the weapon. I know, uh, Squad, for instance, doesn't have a crosshair, so you just went around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you come around a corner, if you come around a corner and there's some dude there and you've, you can hip fire him and you can be pretty confident. Yeah. Like you just have to, you know, you couldn't just hold down the button. You'd have to sort of burst fire short control bursts, like Hicks said, you know, in, in aliens, it would be handier than just going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Burning Crusade was when I quit, wow dude, so I never got that far. Oh my god. No you missed out man. Burning Crusade was really good. You know why? Because I played vanilla wow for five years or whatever and I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did raids and shit, we were terrible, we were a terrible, terrible raiding group. And the guys I played with I was just too lazy to find some, some good friends to play with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was playing with these guys. They were all Scandinavian. They were lovely lads, but they were terrible at the game. And we struggled with...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it, what was the jungle thing with the trolls? Kelthuz- Zul- Zulgarub. Zulgarub, that's it. So we struggled in Zulgarub, right? So- It was tough. It was tough. It was tough. It was a hard game back then. And people would go like, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. So we're, so we, we started doing, um, molten core.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it took hours, fucking hours, and we did this whole thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you get like maybe one, maybe two things, if that. Like you don't get any good loot because you don't have enough dragon kill points or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Burning Crusade comes out and we all rush over there to solo stuff and level up. And I, I, I, Baron might have been playing for years. I had what I thought was reasonable loot. I go through the portal, I'm wandering around, there's all these boars around. I kill a boar and it drops a green cloak that's better than the cloak I'd been raiding for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For like, the past few years. Like, this green cloak. And I was like, okay, so every time this fucking happens, there's gonna be another expansion, and it's gonna shit on all the stuff that I did previously. What's the fucking point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But those cards, like the cards that you get in Hearthstone, are still good cards.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man. Speaking of good cards. Fireball is a good fucking spell. Fireball ain't gonna not be a good spell. That's a dang good spell. And you can cast it any time you like. So as soon as I got fireballs, I was like, cool, this is a good spell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, you know, there's a whole bunch of good spells. In WoW it was like, do you remember those days and days and days of your life that you spent doing all these fucking quests so you could unlock this and get that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your, your weapon. Gandalf doesn't turn up with a different fucking staff every time. It's like, woah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like the quests you go on should power up that weapon. So your weapon acquires like new legendary status and new, new deeds that grant it new shit rather than just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was no quest, there was no leveling, I was just going around leveling up my stupid pets, and if I saw some water, I'd do some fishing. Like I was just, that's literally what I did for like two weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, I realised that if you go back, there was an early dragon area, it was in the original lands, Azeroth or whatever the fuck it is. And there's a bit, it's just an open blasted area, and you can kill these dragons, and when you kill them there's a chance that they drop a well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so we did that for like two weeks, just grinded the whelps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take me to, uh, so and so driver and here's a penny for your trouble. He's like, that'll be like a 30 quid fare, mate. That's, that's me. I'm like, what do you mean 30? A penny is plenty! You ruffian!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Margate is in Kent, right? It's on the coast of Kent. It's on the northeastern coast. You been there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like, that was my impression of Kent before going there was, it's going to be a lot of people walking around shouting racist slogans, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, last week I went to, um, uh, Whitstable, which is in Kent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, are your kids still with your grandparents? No, no, no, no. With their grandparents? So, last week, drove down, picked up the kids and my mum, brought them back up to London. The next day, hopped in the car, we drove to Whitstable, which is in Kent, which is not far from Margate. It's like a 20 minute drive, half an hour drive from Margate. Anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wistable is a beautiful seaside town, okay, it's beautiful, it's really cool, really hip, it's got loads of good restaurants there, loads of good shops, it's like one of those towns that exists in Britain where they've just decided collectively, we're gonna have like a couple of big chain stores and then fuck it, everything else is independent and that's that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's all these cool independent clothing stores and all these restaurants. There's like, there's a Sainsbury's, there's a Costa, there's like a couple of other chains, like a Boots. That's it. Everything else is independent. So you're really going around and it's like really, you know, unusual stuff that you find in these stores, which is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a nice little cottage. It's right by the sea. Seafood, if you like seafood, Whitstable has got lots of good seafood. So that was great. Nice. And then we went off and I'd been to Kent a couple of times before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like this beautiful county. It's absolutely gorgeous. The countryside is stunning. There's miles of coastline. It's gorgeous. It's got all these great beaches and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the people in Kent are just a bit different. So whilst the people are not the best, the place is fantastic. And you go to Margate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all I could see when I went to Margate was the difference between Margate and Whitstable. Whitstable has obviously been taken over by relatively well-to-do middle-class and upper-middle-class Londoners, and it's all kind of high-end, frou-frou stuff. Margate, which is like a half-hour drive away, like I said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like this rundown relic of what English seaside


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you've got this grotty walk down to the seafront, it's like just awful. It's one of those places where they just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's like a building site here. There's a bit of wasteland with those awful metal fences that are meant to stop people going on their shitty wasteland. And it's got like, uhm, it's just, it's just shit. There's awful traffic and everything like that. And then you come around the corner and there's Margate Promenade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, there is a mural of that episode on a wall as you come into Margate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bargate was on telly, like it's a big deal, right? But it used to be a big place. And the weird thing is you go past that shitty area, up a hill a bit,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's stunning, like these buildings would be worth a fortune if they were anywhere else. It's just this gorgeous area. I honestly think if the Margate Council got their fucking act together, Margate could be like this jewel on the coast that people would be fucking killing themselves to get a house in because it is something else. And the view out to sea, there's all these wind farms and they're like this


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These weird sort of peaceful horizon with all these wind farms. And then you've got like all these beaches around there that are just incredible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's such, it's such an underdeveloped area, that North Kent coast, but it could be something special. You heard it here first!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's gonna build a fuckin' casino and, uh, me and the boys are thinkin' of movin' in. We're gonna buy a couple of houses, one for me and one for me, cause I'm Tommy Two-Times, hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No more flower beds. Fuck nature. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. The bee population in this country, like every other country in the world, is struggling. It is your responsibility, Sips, as a landowner and potential flower haver, to get some fucking flowers down and help out your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A fucking house here, and they're like, the least you could do is give us a little outside space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To just make up for the fact that you humans have stuck concrete, especially in London, over every available space. If someone has a front garden, boom. I can park my car there now. Uh, off road parking. That's it. That's all they want to do. It leads to flooding and the bees. We gotta think about the bees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, and I do that. If I have flowers and the bees are into that flower stays, even if it's a weed. I'm like, you guys, do you? I'll worry about the flower in the winter, but- This is for the bees! This is for the bees! Motherfucker!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have two things to say about this. Number one, I saw a wasp, uh, going for the nectar in a flower the other day. I didn't know they did that. He was like going in the flower, he was going in every flower, getting the nectar out. It was a shallow flower, so it was a wasp friendly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're designed to do that. What? Eat garbage? Yeah. They're carrion feeders. They eat anything. You do? No, but some of this stuff like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here you go, with the onset of winter, ring-billed garbage gulls, or landfill larrids, as one birder calls them, typically join the vultures perching on trash heaps and picking through old tires and disposable diapers for some edible morsel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I really wanna get some. I wanna try this peach punch. Is it alcoholic? Amen. Hey, remember I told you the story about the portage? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't remember what my other thing that I had to say about insects was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The only feeling they have is, where's the heroin at? That's pretty much it. Yeah, exactly!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the first episode, it felt like when a runner or an athlete hasn't performed in a while, they, you know, they haven't thrown the javelin or whatever and they kind of, they throw it and everyone's like, eh, it's okay, at least he's back, you know, he's over the injuries. And now this week was like, we fucking world record. Pow! A javelin out of the park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stop being a PU555! Stop being a PU555, eat my SH1T, and go F yourself, I'm busy, I got things to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember kids, if you're out in the wilderness, shoot the bear with the flare! Don't shoot it in the air! Be safe out there!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We want like Pammy's. We want like 35. We want size 8 and a half.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I, when I see girls that are like hot 18 year olds, I'm thinking, they're too young, they're too young. I mean, I'm an old man now. It's morally questionable if I would have anything to add to their life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I'm saying that there are other flavors to the lady spectrum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The response that people have when they talk about other people's sex lives is they're like, whatever you do in the previous year bedroom...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't care about it, but just, just keep it to yourself. It's like, I don't want to hear or see your alternative lifestyle. Just keep, keep it locked behind closed doors. Underground. Go live underground like a mole and just live there and do what you like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I look at them and I mean I get why they put them in there, but all they use them for, 99% of the time, is explaining complicated shit to the viewers by explaining it to the idiot humans that happen to be in charge of the ship. That's literally their job, their captain's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Full speed ahead! And Mr. Data will be like, wait a second, Captain, because here's a very reasonable scientific reason why we shouldn't do that. Oh yeah, yep. Data's got it, yep. Thanks for the advice. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, but the thing is data is always going to uphold the fucking first direct or the prime directive, right? That is the guy, if you program data.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get Spock, he can do the exploration, cause he's the guy that's gonna meet them and go, it's not logical, we wouldn't do it, prime directive y'all, which makes sense, we gotta be chill about this, we can't fuck with the unicorn guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you, if you have, I've actually fitted taps and changed washers and I can do all that stuff because you can look up how to do it and it's really not, like anything involving plumbing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you've gotta have the right pressure, and the right kind of pipe, and it's gotta be the right width, and you've gotta have the right, you know, benzene and all that. No way. Like that's, that's super skilled stuff, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait dude, I'm about to ruin your appreciation for gung ho. Are you ready?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gung Ho's real name is Etienne R. Lafitte. Oh, that doesn't ruin it. It does!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thierry Henry, you know? I'm like, that's cool. Etienne Lafitte is gonna be like, je suis gung-ho, let's go, and jump over the top. He's gonna be like, maybe we should go and have a cup of coffee first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eventually moved to New Orleans, earning a reputation as a bare-knuckle brawler and knife fighter, joined the Marines at age 18 and was the distinguished honor graduate from Marine Corps Recruit Depot, Parris Island.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've got here, uh, G.I. Joe Online Exclusive Seven Packs. Here's the Assault on Cobra Island Squad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had, you had Snake Eyes, who was the blind ninja guy. Storm Shadow, who was the white ninja guy, like his, his costume was white. Cobra Commander, who was of course the blue cobra guy. Destro, who was the guy with the metal head, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stalker, Hawk, Lady J, ah, Roadblock. You can't forget Roadblock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, one of the figures I had when I was a kid was Shipwreck, who was a sailor, and he had a little parrot on his shoulder, and the toy came with a little parrot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pure, out of the box Joe. None of this muscle, no muscle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were good, they were good. The weird thing about kids shows now, compared to kids shows when I was, when I was a kid, is that now the toys seem to come along, if the show is successful there'll be some toys to go with it. But it does, it felt like, like back then it was literally an advert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it sucks that they advertise directly to kids like that, but I fucking loved it! And it's not like it was my money. All my parents had to do was say, No, we're not fucking buying you more G.I. Joe toys. You can, uh, have a book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's up to the- You know what I mean? The parents just have to say no. You can't have the Cobra Island playset. You're gonna have to have a book and a jumper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How old, how old were you when you stopped playing with toys? Cause I can remember the occasion very distinctly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And your first birthday really disappointed. I thought it was for cigarettes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it never bothered me that people had strange personal foibles. Uh, his, his were multiple. Like for instance, if we were going into town together, uh, and I'd say, hey, let's take the bus. As I'm getting on the bus, he'd say, nah, I'm gonna walk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No social skills whatsoever, and uh, it was kind of, it was kind of strange like that. But uhm, it never bothered me, like we played all kinds of nerdy games, played all those loads of Spectrum games, we played board games for hours and hours and hours, like really complicated ones, like Starfleet battles and shit like that, that's like a fucking textbook of rules. Uhm, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was at his house one time, and he had loads of toy soldiers, I had loads of toy soldiers, and we used to play in his, in his garden quite a lot with him, cause he, his, his mum had dug quite deep flower beds, and around the flower beds there was like an obvious trench, and so you could set up your troops in that trench without having to dig. It was great. And the pond was like the main central for, you know, we'd have to battle around the pond, everything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember one time I went around there with my soldiers, and out of nowhere, he just goes like, I don't want to play with toy soldiers anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, I think we were probably about 10 or 11.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was when I was 11 at school that some of the sixth formers were playing that game and they were like, Oh, do you want to play? And I was like, yeah, fuck. Yeah. Like they were really cool. And, um, it was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' love it. I wish I had the space for a massive, I always wanted to have like one of those massive tables that people have and you know, you see a picture on the internet, it's like taking over their whole basement is just a huge tabletop gaming thing. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you, do you ever wonder if, uh, I mean I, I don't know if kids still play games that way, where they all just play...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that kind of really inventive stuff, or if they just go around and play FIFA. And I think it is kind of a shame that, as much as I love games, I'd hate to think, like a lot of the games are, I still remember them, they're really founding memories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I've made of, of the games that I played and I think the toys that I play with, like sometimes I go to my mum's house and she's still got them while toys bless her. So I kind of go and go to these boxes and pull out something I haven't seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that, you know, all the kind of stuff you gotta do is go, we just gotta plod through it. And it's literally...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's so much that you want to do as a kid. You've got all the energy in the world. I mean, my kids just never stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'll say they're tired and then they'll see something they want to do and then they'll do that for like four hours, just bounding around, leaping off stuff. And I think, you said you were tired two seconds ago. What you meant was you're bored. You're just fucking bored to tears. How desperately sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You try and bring in a rule that says like, as the light goes down, the distance you have to hit the ball should go up. It was like a technicality, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, that's the weird thing, kids fucking love making up rules. Like they love, everything has to be really...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but I bet you're not, like a lot of people play games and are so, so bad at them. They put thousands of hours in, but they're even worse than us, which is amazing to me. But it does happen. So I wouldn't, I don't think 51 is too bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that because I was thinking it's fucking stupid when there's no benefit to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you, you need like four over times to capture the, the point or whatever. Like it needs to be, it's like saying, well, we, I won four nil in the first leg and you won one nil in the second leg. So it's a tie. It's like, no, it's not a tie. I should be winning by four to one. Like, you know, yeah, that's good. I'm glad they brought that in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's hard to dip in and out of a game if you, if it's that big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, like, I play, I mean, I play a lot of games like, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas with World of Warcraft, I don't really remember...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was, Eve Online was the time that I enjoyed a sort of MMO the most. Like I did enjoy WoW, but I definitely wasn't in a guild that I liked. Like they were just convenient because they were about the same level as I was and they were rating the same things as I was. Like I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I can't even remember what they were called. They were mainly Danish guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were nice enough, but they took it quite seriously, even though they weren't very good at it. And they weren't much sort of fun. Do you know what I mean? They weren't like, there was very little social chatting and stuff. It was just, we kind of methodically helped each other with quests and it was kind of functional. It was quite businessy. So I didn't get much of a social side from it. Whereas when I played Eve for like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four years, it was entirely just a social thing and we just had a laugh. Like we'd go on these ox where we'd fly around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I did, when I played WoW, I'd sit there on my own and do it. And I remember thinking, man, this is fucking boring. But I was kind of just zoned out doing it. It was just like a thing you did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure there was a quest for mages where you had to do one instance to get something. I can't even remember what it was. It was like either something to change your hex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And not enough loot for 40 people, you are going to be coming back and doing this exact same instance constantly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I realised how much time I had to dedicate to it, and I was like, fuck me, this is... And there's always someone who has to leave, and one of the healers is like, go, go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the reason I kinda like games where it's the same game but it's like a random start, like each time. So every time you restart, you don't feel like you've gone back to square one, you feel like this is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just going to say something like, like football manager is the same thing. I come back and I'll manage a different team and it'll be the same, you know, starts in 2015, it's the same thing, but, but so much different stuff happens because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think until the mods and stuff and the DLC comes in, like we were talking about having a version where nobody's in a faction and nobody's allied and there's no, you know, you'd literally build up diplomacy rather than be like a fixed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, Japan always goes to war with Russia, or Japan and America can never be friends. You know, you could have a version where everybody's just chill at the start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just thinking that it would be fun to have some other games because I do find myself coming back to games like with Rimworld for instance, where you don't know what's going to happen. There's lots of random events and stuff or prison architect. You can build a different prison. You'll have different prisoners and different problems every time. Whereas I feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the thing about wow is if you want to level a character.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas I like the randomness of stuff like Rimworld and stuff like that where you have to conquer a different, very changing set of circumstances as the game goes on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Play games, like, uh, so I, I don't think it's, uh, I mean, I think sometimes maybe we don't joke around about, uh, games as much. I don't know why, because we all do when we're playing them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when we're talking about them, I think it's actually something we know quite a lot about. Like all of us have played a shitload of games, been playing games for years, have seen how they've changed. You know, we've been a part of a lot of scenes and stuff. So I think it's actually something we know stuff about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, the summer, my kids are away for two weeks and there's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we could do it. That would be awesome. Cause they're away for like two weeks in the summer. The only thing is the weekend I need to be back in Bournemouth for just for that one night and then I've got another week free. So I could even just come down for a bit. We could record a shit load of stuff, like do a D&D campaign and do all kinds of stuff. And then it's like, it could be down for a whole week and do it. I'd fucking love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, I think what you're looking for is more of a Game of Thrones-y, anyone could die in a horrible way at any time, but there's some overriding goal that we hope they're gonna get to, and if we lose some people along the way,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can replace him with other people, like maybe a D&D campaign that doesn't pull punches, and if the DM rolls a crit, and hey, your wizard just got shot in the face by an arrow, you'll have to have another character. So maybe you could even have people bring multiple characters with them.


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[Assistant] I think maybe some kind of a post-apocalyptic thing, but that maybe doesn't just have fucking zombies, uh, because it's- No, that way we won't do zombies again, and we'll never do zombies.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but what about like a, like there was a game system called Traveller, which they then made into like a, kind of like there was a sort of later version of Traveller, which is really good, but Mark will know about it, but I think if we were the crew of a ship,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be kind of cool, not in a Star Trek sense, but in the, the, the travel universe is kind of, there's multiple major powers and you're just like a trader, or like a mercenary, so you know, you just go around doing jobs. So it's like being elite, like in the, it's like the game elite. We did, we did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, he went there to, he had a gun, he had something to drink, he went to confront them, and the lawyer says like, uh, what were you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And went to sleep. And wakes up the next morning, of course his wife and her lover were killed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he's wrongly convicted of it and sent down. The thing about Randy Dufresne is, is that he doesn't change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cuz remember, they said to him at the start, one of the things that Red says to him is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like, he just goes, uh, oh geez, Red, uh, you know, maybe I could, uh, tunnel out of here, buddy, wink, wink, if you know what I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what you're talking about Andy, tunnel, like me. So in the, you know, he's always had that hope because he's always been working towards getting free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think that that's the thing about the perfect prisoner. I would be the prisoner who would go in there and kill themselves because I would be so miserable. It is, it is my greatest fear in life being locked up, especially wrongfully.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea of being sent down, no hope, that's it, I'm stuck forever. I would probably be one of the guys that hangs himself with a sock in his cell. I just, I couldn't handle it. I could not handle it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the idea of being treated like less than a human being, uh,


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[Assistant] Especially, especially if you were in there and you weren't given time to reflect on your deeds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you had done no deeds. You just shouldn't have even been there. And there are people who've spent like 20, 30 years in prison for something they didn't do. And I think that that is the greatest torture that you can inflict on someone is locking them up, taking away their life. Like that's the thing. Every, every five years that goes by, I'm thinking what all those things I've missed, everything I could have done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he'd been inside for armed robbery, he'd robbed the post office, uhm, he'd robbed multiple post offices before they finally caught him. And we were always asking him, like, what was it like in prison? He said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this would have been in the 80s and the 90s. And he said, uhm, it wasn't really what you think at all. It was just mainly fighting, like a lot of people fighting.