[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cosplay. We met at Comic Con. We were all cosplays as the Fantastic Four. And we're like, what the hell?


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[Assistant] Thank you. I was the Human Torch and Ders, you were Mr. Fantastic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a, that's a big one. Are they redoing that movie again?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For sure, Blake. Yeaah. Uh, that sucks. That sucks. Shackman! That sucks, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mr. Fantastic, I think that's Ders. I think that's Ders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've killed a lot of animals in your acting career. It's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like do you need to get your message out? I got cameras on lock. I got Hollywood cameras that aren't being used.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea, unfucking believable. I don't know, I think I'd rather fucking kick it with FaZe, aw man, Scrubs rocks dude. Yea, Scrubs does, does rule.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like a really, but I think when kids are that young pulling knives, they're definitely, their home life is just an absolute disaster and they're just in the making.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was saying, I want love. He said fun dip, but really he's like, I want my father to love me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a real sliding scale. Hey Kyle, this is bullying. You are so dumb!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what they're saying is it's, yes, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, we got a hot pod next week. Cause that's a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My man has a man nest back there. These are butt cheeks. This is butt cheeks. I've definitely


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's Fergie. Fergie. Do you have her? Yes, thank you.


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[Assistant] Wow, man. Yeah, good job Blake. Good searching and all that stuff. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do it live. Oh dude, the good luck. Hey, that's funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the, like the orange dudes from the labyrinth that's just gonna hop away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, are those guys, hey, are those guys called fireys? Is that what they're called? Do you know what? Like the fire guys? Yea, what are they called? That sounds derogatory, but... I think it's the fire guys. Uh, whipsies? I thought they were... Blake will look it up. He's so fast at Google because he's so young. Cause don't they say, like, in the song, like, don't they say, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's weird, dude. And clothes? They try to take our clothes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up? You weren't there in Santa Monica when we saw that shit in the theater and like, we saw the owl and stuff? I feel like, oh my god. Oh my god, dude. We can circle back to that. Go ahead, Adam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that was his whole, that was his whole steez. That's part of why you watch, right? Isn't that why you watch it though?


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[Assistant] Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Connolly of, of Maverick fame is in a, and uhm.


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[Assistant] No, not Maverick with Mel Gibson. That's Jodie Foster.


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[Assistant] Requiem, she's in Requiem too, that's right. Mel had some good movies.


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[Assistant] Don't draw the lines! Don't draw the lines! Don't draw lines!


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[Assistant] I don't disagree. I think what happened was you had said it and then it went away and then you brought it back up on the podcast which came out and that's why it came back with such fervor. I think that's how it got picked up again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's fervor, it's hullabaloo, it's excitement, it's uhm... Oh, hullabaloo, hullabaloo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and Adam is leaving the conversation.


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[Assistant] Down, down. Or have people pay to play you, ooh.


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[Assistant] Dude, I'm down. Oh yeah, that's a good idea too. That's a good idea. Ooh. And donate a percentage to charity. Ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's get into it. Let's get into it. Who's the guy in it? Jack Harlow? Is it Jack Harlow?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, it represents fervor. No, it's not eating. These hands represent fervor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are fervor hands. It's like a doctor who's about to check your testicles. He's like, let me just warm them up so it's not shocking. He's like, let me fervor those testicles. Dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're checking for, I mean, Blake or Kyle, I'll tell you, fishers and hammies. Yeah, they're checking for hammies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His asshole pores. I'm good. I'm good. It's just a thi- it's a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't spread. What else are we doing? Did you get on the treadmill for this guy? Like... This was butt cheeks. These are butt cheeks. This is butt cheeks. I'm definitely not inside of the butthole. Okay. You're doing a lot of- Well no, that's- that's asshole that you're doing. Yeah, yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Saint, that's what I was thinking, Saint Lunatics, man. Should we all wear Band-Aids out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Chicago had it's time in the 80's and then they kinda moooved on and everyone's like, but some of the Batmans were filmed here. Nobody knows that. Can't tell. They do now. Put em on. I know that. Yeah. Yeah, I would love to shoot. And for more facts, come on out to the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't actually say it. It's a film something, not shoot something, cause they're doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Point. Yeah, there are the Chicago shows, which I think are like four shows now. Cool. I could, I could, I guess. Um, but yeah, there's a bunch of stuff filming there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. No. I heard it can go around and around and around. How fast? Put it on full tilt after a few buzz balls?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes! What's the mascot? Can we shout out the mascot? It's very important to me. 49ers.


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[Assistant] They still do, they still get away with that, or not that it's like a... Well I think a dirt bag is the base. Is the actual weight. Yeah, I get that, but I'm saying like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I'm just saying, like, it seems like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've been to a few Olympic trials there, uh, I saw a world record set there, and I believe 2004?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shout out Ian Crocker and the 100 Butterfly, 50 point. Of course, Ian Crocker. Something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cute. It's hella tiny. It looks old, but also feels new at the same time.


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[Assistant] Arizona? That's what it is. Yeah, California is a golden state and then.


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[Assistant] All right. Adam, what's the next city? Wait, what do you mean Blake? You mean like, what does it say on the license plate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, jazz is tight. Yeah, I don't know. The barbecue. Just the St. Louis barbecue, no? Yeah?


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[Assistant] The re-reboot? It was like, uh, during COVID, like, they called me at like 5 o'clock and they're like, can you come downtown at 9.30 and film a scene? And I was like, oh, I can. Okay. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, they're like LeBron James. I mean, I went and I was like, this is gonna get cut. It was like the dudes coming out of like, an Eyes Wide Shut party. Super original. And uhm, then I was just like there like, hi. Shots fired. Here's your, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are like, not going to San Fran, I'm staying Midwest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Indianapolis, I've only been there for a fine, uh, NDCAA finals game, uh, Wisconsin Badgers when they got stomped by Duke or somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know the restaurant we're gonna go to, it's called like, get your Duke jerseys on. Elmo's, and it's got a famous shrimp cocktail that is just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love a nice little first bell. Kyle, is that a pickleball shirt, Kyle? Huh? Yes. Is that a pickleball shirt? Well yea, low key, good job man, you got it. Well I'm a visual learner, so. You got it, yea.


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[Assistant] I was like, the thing looks skinnier.


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[Assistant] My man has a man nest back there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we're talking about how you- Well, you were talking about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What shoes are you running in? What are you running in? I have been, yeah. I'm running in Hokas, dude. I'm running in the, in the... Which ones? What's on feet? Clifton's? They got the fucking wide-ass base. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like really, really wide. Like they go out as... Yeah, it's really Clifton's. I mean, that's a lot as most Hokas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These hips don't lie. Oh, you could probably got a, you probably got a fast tonight, huh? You got fast, no eating.


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[Assistant] We were? Yeah, me too. Yeah, you would go in for like a 30 minute session in that one room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a strike. Was it? Oh, cause they play it so much.


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[Assistant] We gotta get Kyle in the batting cages there, right? Let's go. I'll hit a slugger. I'll use it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't, I didn't go there, and you're like, I didn't. I didn't go there. No, no, didn't, didn't.


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[Assistant] Chill, chill, chill on their boy. Fuckin', check your fizz level, dude.


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[Assistant] Oh, it's probably going to be, I can't wait to be there for nine hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Woah, that's tight. Sounds like a must. No, it's really fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see, I guess I was there for Junior Nationals in 1998, but, uh, and you didn't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, she crushes the beer, uh, 30 different mixed ice drinks or whatever in those machines, you know? She, she crushes


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[Assistant] Whoa! Oh, no way! Oh, she throws the can into the air and then...


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[Assistant] I don't know. Tomorrow, as I'm saying.


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[Assistant] No, Ken Griffey Jr. will not be there.


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[Assistant] He was telling me. He, he was, he said the nicest things about you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, yeaah. You were saying that it was off the charts. Uhm, yeaah. It was really good. Max. Which is to me, valuable information.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm listening dude, I'm listening, I'm just looking down. I don't have to look at you. I was- What's boring? You think this is any more exciting than any other episode we've ever done?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Waiting, I'm not interrupting, I'm patiently waiting and chirping in when I feel like I can chirp in. No, I'm watching you, I don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and rooting for you, rooting for you to get there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh dude, you're a couple, you're a couple meals away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's when you're fat, right? I was thinking about that the other day, cause I was like, at least my stomach's not touching my thighs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You come from a barrel chest or a barrel tummy family. Yeah. Where does your, where does your thigh start?


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[Assistant] Especially about- I agree, I agree. Especially about this kind of thing. Agree, cause it's like we're at-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where it bends. Sometimes my knees are touching my nipples, I don't know. The hip? At the hip? Like right where it bends?


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[Assistant] Yeah, you pussied out. And I would love you like that. But it would have been easy. You know what's weird about being 270 is I didn't even feel


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did your calves get huge? Is that? You know how like ex fat dudes have like the most lit calves?


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[Assistant] Shout out to Selkirk, thanks for the paddles. Send my man a hat. Thanks for the paddles. I need the net.


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[Assistant] Do we get like visors to be like backwards and upside down? Cause it's such a Saturdays for the boys thing to wear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh god. Oh god. I'm gonna give a shout out. Shout out to, uh, USA Swimming Foundation. Adam and I did a game show. And, uh, I was happy to send them 25 G's to teach some kids how to swim. We got to stop the drownings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if people watch that, that was a lit ass app. And I'm saying lit. I'm saying lit now. It was good.


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[Assistant] He said Emma Watson, yeaah, so that's a funny thing.


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[Assistant] Hey Blake, what was it like the first time you had sex?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I saw that you sold some of your shirts. Some of your, like, Marvel shirts. At, uh, what it was? Szechuan Market? What is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the catacombs are just your closet?


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[Assistant] What are we talking? What's the market here? What should we guess? What's the over under?


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[Assistant] But I, now that I rethought that they actually want it, your sweaty old shirt. I don't think that's a factor. $800. $800.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So is this, this, so it is a famous person. If we guess, would you tell us?


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[Assistant] Well, we talked about kayfabe when we did the Workaholics wrestling episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Yeah, but he was in character. Right. Yes. Yes. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So who, so who are you saying? It's obviously Diplo. Diplo bought your shirt.


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[Assistant] Dude, he's gonna look so fucking cool. I-I- Red carpet with these shirts?


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[Assistant] I weirdly the other night fell down like a little Diplo hole where I just found myself looking at photos of Diplo and I was like, what are you looking at? And then she's like, what are you doing?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't even really listen to his music or anything. I'm just like, he just lives a very exciting life.


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[Assistant] He's at every event in the world, he's just there, yeaah.


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[Assistant] That actually really sucked for all of us. We had to talk about Kyle and like where he was driving to. Yeaah, it was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, okay. In my mind that's what I'm envisioning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you get an Aaliyah shirt and R Kelly's also on the shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if there is a market for it, uh,


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[Assistant] So there, there was more, there were more shirts. Do you have all those shirts? I'm assuming you do. I do, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On Sundays, me and you, me and you used to do that a lot, Kyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I look like a bloated infant the next day and I look really tired looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] King Baby. Your boobs are huge. King Baby, dude. Wasn't that a thing? Uh, but then I, then I bounced back. What's the King Baby? Yeah, I'm the, yeah, I'm a kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking rotisserie chickens, uh, about damn near every day. Broccoli. You know, the boring shit.


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[Assistant] Cause I haven't been drinking, like normally, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm throwing back some drinks near every day and.


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[Assistant] Dude, Kyle, I was about to lose my mind if you also picked up a girl's scout box. Oops, empty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, damn. No, no Girl Scouts for me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what you have to know about- I like the stars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like my, like I won't make it to a place. And I pulled over at a gas station.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why drink a lot of milk in my youth? So maybe that it's just coming, I've already reached that point and my body's like, nah, you're good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Looks like James Gunn are one of his first movies, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's gotta be banging. Big Girl Scout has put it through the wringer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we going to find out like Nestle is actually behind the Girl Scout cookies and they're raking in all this money? Or, or. Well, that's a good question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'd watch that movie, Kyle. I'd watch that movie.


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[Assistant] Yes! See? Yes points! Uh, no, see, see, that's, that's the thing. The only drink, Kahlua.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll usually snap up one of them at Starbucks around October-ish, where you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like girls that wear like the camel hats and shit go wild for the, the, the pumpkin, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew it had a vibe. Cause I was fighting it so hard. You knew it had a vibe. I was fighting against the vibe. I was fighting against the vibe so hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the viper room. And now everyone is just like, yeah, no, I got them too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, to, I feel, uh, to harken back to Angus McLeod who passed, right? Uhm, is that? He had a vibe. Right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone posted a clip of him, uh, from the show where they're like, you're not on social media. And he's like, no, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would I want the scraps of somebody just posting stuff when like I want to peel them apart like an onion and like discover the mystery? And uh, I think that that hits correct.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Total bummer, but like, but he called it out, I mean, whoever wrote the show called it out, but his character says it where it's like the mystery is gone with social media. Like everyone's just saying everything. So you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you have any like, ugh, like, keep it to yourself, I don't really care about like- Yeah, right. I've got a fuckin' rash in my ass! Anyway, come to see my movie, Mission Impossible 3, Dead Reckoning! Totally true. Totally true. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're from a deep, you're from a deep suburb with mall culture, which is fine. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what Tilly's is. When I moved to LA, I definitely bought rainbow, rainbow sandals cause I was like, oh, these are super duper comfortable and I rocked those hard. Uh, but no, never, um, I would not oppose her like Blake, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would never dress like a culture that wouldn't have me, I guess is what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you heard of Levi's and Strauss? Yea, he stays strapped up. I mean... I always did like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not Wranglers, cause you're not- Dude, just, just- You're not a fuckin', uh, rodeo boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam was the first guy I ever saw rocking Lucky, and you showed me like the fly? That's because of the grove.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I wore khakis exclusively until I moved to LA and I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta fuckin', like, get a pair of jeans or I'm not gonna be able to get into a bar. Fuckin'.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up? I feel like just more like a preppy style and I feel like as a swimmer as that's one of the country club sports. I think I'm, I'm, I'm playing my part. Fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and Adam just needed to fit in, and I, I, like Blake, you're from California. Uhm, you know, so, skate culture has permeated, uh, this culture out here on the west coast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys think that a league- This shit's not important. Do you guys think an under 6-3 basketball league would be able to take off in a major way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because do you know how many unbelievable, unbelievable basketball players there are under six feet that are just like, I can't play cause I can't shoot over a fucking six, seven foot center or whatever, right? For sure. But if everybody's under six, three, I bet the game's way more athletic, way more exciting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not, I don't, I don't disagree. I don't, I know, I don't disagree, but, but if it were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chris Paul is an extraordinary, uhm, example of somebody who is not that tall but can excel in that league. But there's thousands and thousands of absolute ballers that are like six feet tall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but I think that it would be, I think it would be probably a more exciting game than


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's the most, who's the most exciting big man outside of like, Shaq? Well, he's promoting his new league, dude. Well, you just took mine. I know, but outside of Shaq, who's the most exciting big man to watch? Giannis?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's very tall. He ain't a big man though. He's huge. He's huge. He's a shooting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? It's George something? Marisol?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Marathon, right? I don't know, I say Andes Mountain. Marathon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what I'm saying is, imagine if everybody on the floor could jump out the gym and shoot. And it's not just about like, I don't know, standing there and blocking. I don't know, it just seems like it would be a very exciting game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did see, I did see yesterday, it was like, if you're gonna go on the picket lines, you gotta wear sleeveless shirts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't see it. I think women are saying that. Yea, I think we don't, we're- They don't say, Blake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam hit it on the head when he goes, he looks like he's about to cry, right? He's super tough seeming, but at the same time, like something's going on. Those eyes are ready to cry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's National Geographic's most animalistic man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to my, my, my homeland and I basically want to pick up where we left off, I don't know when, how many weeks ago it was, because Blake had just been shitting his brains out and barfing his shit, his shit out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, ugh, this fucking sucks, this sucks, oh my god, worst ever. Then we land, we get to Oslo, and we get in this like, van that was gonna take us to our Airbnb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in the van, I, I had taken two barf bags from the plane because I was just like, I don't know if she's going to barf again. I don't know what's happening. We get in the van within like 15, 20 minutes of this 30 minute drive. I'm like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It hit so hard, and by the way, so it only lasts like eight hours, like kids- Yeah, it's crazy. Kids had it over, wife had it over. I had it for like 36 hours of just like deep- Oh my god. Deep barfing, where like my abs were getting shredded.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, a lot of that. A lot of me looking at people being like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We look the same. This is crazy. Uhm, we took a train through a town where my great, great grandparents are from, which was pretty rad to be like, there it is. There's people here who are maybe


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My like, fifth cousins or whatever. Just like, at their shoe cobblery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no pleasantries, really. That's like you! Everyone's, yeah, it answers everything. Yeah, this is cool. Everyone's just matter of fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's a lot of like- Fish balls? It's just bread and sausages and fish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's not even a delicacy. It's not like, hey, this is our life. It's like, this is just Tuesday and like eating it four days a week or something would be a lot. Basically, Italian food has taken over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything is pasta. Yeah, they just figured it out. They're like, uh, have you had spaghetti? It's actually fucking gangster. You know, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say Northern Europe, uh, the palate is just not very, uh, accustomed to spicy. You know, they just did like bland potatoes, bread, fish. Yeah, it's not. That's gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bergen, so here's the deal, also Oslo, which is like the major city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was a little sleepy because I think during the summer everybody jets to everywhere else in Europe or to like the country house, right? Yeah, exactly. Uh, so it was a little sleepy, but Bergen was fucking cool. Bergen had a vibe. Remember how we went to Sydney and you're like, oh, this is beautiful, but it didn't have the same, it didn't have a vibe like, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Arnie is deep into, Arnie is deep into history and military history. We went to a military history, uh, military museum, um, they talked about like a lot about World War II. He's obsessed with that. He's like this, he loves Hitler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, we appreciate that. We just don't like your vibe. You're very loud. We're quiet here. Yeah, you suck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so they- ooooh. Oh, really? That's fucking cool. I bet that's hella funny. They liked it, but I'm like, we're in a foreign country, you're like running around like, that's a street, cars are driving, like, just yelling and shaking my baby. Uhm, you know, it seems-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, and, but I'll be honest, they were so good. But like, they just didn't, they were good, they weren't like bad. They just weren't listening to me about like, things that could be dangerous, right? If we're going on like a hike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the rap music that they're doing now, or are they just calling people out in the songs? Oh, Drill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the ones you want to do and then posting that on social, hoping or hope, like basically posting on social so they see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been a whole thing, but lawyers are like, you can't, it's an art form, they're just rapping about it, it's not real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, halfway through the trip, I was just like, I don't think my kids listen to me. I'm like a bad dad. All I do is go like, hey, just, guys,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just am trying to like be sweet and nice and then I like lose it. It's so hard. It's so hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no family. Well, we've done that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reality check. Uhm, yeaah. I mean, we brought our nanny places, we brought family places, and it's always terrific, and uh, we couldn't do it without them. But then we were just like, this is what people do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it was very cool to like, we took the kids around to like the street signs. A lot of them are named after people much like here. And we, they would like see their names on the walls and shit. Oh, that's cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's the like, there was the mass murderer dude who like killed a hundred people at that summer camp a few years ago who I believe is the only person who's ever gotten a life sentence, but other than that I think


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're super deep into rehabilitation. And I think the max sentence, uh, this was on like a fucking vice news, maybe. Like the max sentence is like 11 years. And basically you just go to a farm and they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, just grab this, we need you to pull that plow, like help us out. And they just kind of rehabilitate people by giving them like purpose and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's super, but it's like you're, you're doing something, like you're, you're contributing and you leave there being like, ah, I want to be of service out there too. I want to get back to society.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but like, you know, it's different than America. America's just fucking a little wilder, a little crazier here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, I remember talking about this in the room. I'm being like, 18 doors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm sorry to the skating community for perpetrators.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck dude, what the hell? It's just fun, it's just fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't just eat. All you have to do is apologize and it's like, get out of jail, free card. I don't have any food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just lock up your family, fuck them in the basement. You talk to the hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm drinking an armless Palmer, very funny. You guys used to send us stuff, and uhm... Whatever happens, we miss that. I love free stuff. You don't anymore, and we don't... Oh, I went to the town of Voss, and guess what? I didn't drink there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Voss water? Voss water. I was like, we're for sure gonna get some Voss water. No, I didn't blow it. The restaurant we ate at, where I had nachos, they blew it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These hoes got water. I'm having so much fun I don't want to say goodbye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I go, so you're gonna, you're gonna tear it open?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unreal. And I guess the reason they do it is because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Doc comes in and starts going to work and he was like, uh, so the nurse who was in here just told me you're, uh, you're in this movie or whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but also like, and this is, I'm not, what's in this drink, but like time, like we might, oh shit, we might be the aliens from another planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so like, then I guess God did the Holocaust.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm waiting, that's why I'm holding this fucking thing up, dude. Okay, the 69th commenter on-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How long is it going to go for? Is it going to go pating or do I just go? Judge Miller! Judge Miller? He's a judge? He's a judge? Like Judge Reinhold?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a question for Blake out the gate. Uh, how are your poops?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do want to talk about NOLA, but, uh. You either have diarrhea or you don't. How, how are your shits? Are you finally shitting correctly? This, it's been like five days now, four days, four days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, just now. Just now. I'll listen to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because my body betrayed me. This was the first- Just now. This was the first New Orleans experience that I felt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This poorly after only a few days. I feel like, well...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My, I'm getting older and I no longer can handle, cause we, we, it was a four day true bangerang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the moment we got on that plane to the moment we left.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They put, yeaah, they put more vodka in your vodka. What's in this vodka? Oh, Rufio!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I don't think my body- See, the thing is, is I'm, I'm, I'm finally starting to, uh, freeze. Coagulate. Ah, okay. The thing is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wrote it on Bourbon Street, I'm like, what does TII Nation want to talk about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say that guys, you guys would be proud of our fans. We saw a lot of T.I.I. Nation along the parade route. I saw probably like five or six signs. I saw a sign that said F paramount. E.N.L.A.T. Oh my gosh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, uh, we, we got a, uh, I love your content. Nice sign, nice sign. Hot, hot, hot, hot! Yeah. Uh, poster, I saw a TII Nation poster. Uh huh, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, doesn't it, it was kind of cool because I looked like, like the, if you just had a beard on me, I kind of looked like they're like cartoon Bacchus King.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sort of portly, like a guy that like for sure drinks a lot and eats a lot of, uhm, meats and cheeses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it, it was pretty natural when I, when I strapped on the gear, like all the bogus people, uhm, were like, were like, oh my, this is a natural fit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, cause you don't want to, like last year was Josh Duhamel. You know, uh, Josh Duhamel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Super handsome, big head, jawline.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well that was, that was the old way. You couldn't be a star back in the day without a giant head. I feel like that is changing a little bit now. But, uh. Yeah, we're changing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, let's explain Bacchus. Let's step that out a little bit. Oh, right. Bacchus, I didn't, I didn't know what that was either, I was told. Because I've never been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After, I mean not initially, but after like four hours of throwing them, they get heavy. So they were throwing like one or two at a time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was throwing like 12 at a time, and I was like, there's no way I'm gonna be sore from this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no. Okay, Durr- you're right, Durr. No, because then it would block the view of me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whoever's Bacchus. Yeah, uh, Sober Bacchus. I don't know. I don't know if they've ever had that. Oh wow. That would be kind of cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The god of non-alcoholic wine and merriment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know he is, he has to be Acme and Wisterhouse probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Raids are very family friendly. Other than the shootings. Other than the shootings and stuff. Besides that. That wasn't family friendly for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a shooting, yes there was a shooting. There was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there was a shooting, but I guess there is like every year, and it's kind of, it's a bummer because it makes it, it was such a fun event, it makes it a little sad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like security was all over, the police were out and about, you know, so they're doing their best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they hear the jazz music playing, the delicious smell of the, the beignets are in the air. And they're like, you know what, I gotta go join the people. If you're from New Orleans, this is your everyday life. So I feel like those, cause I've worked in New Orleans quite a bit on movies and different things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I went like, I was there like over Christmas and we went then. I snuck out there. Oh yeah, that's cool. I go to French for quite a bit, but no, we didn't go this time. I wasn't like, since I was Bacchus, they were super protective of me, essentially.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel, well the parade was for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the parade route, there's like millions of people along the parade route, right? And it was, I would say, much, much, much crazier than the Macy's Day parade. Macy's was like, the streets were wider, but I mean, there was probably the same amount of people, but like, it was just mayhem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And those are all Bacchus members or close friends and family of Bacchus members.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that's, that's like a black tie gala, so everyone's in tuxedos and nice gowns. Right. And it's also BYOB, so it's nice gowns with like coolers full of vodka. It was hilarious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, well that is, I wish they all could be California girls. And I don't think, he's saying I wish they all could be here in California. I wish, I think he's saying I wish they were all like, cool, blonde. No, that's what it isn't. That's what I thought it was. He's not that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it was, it was like, people were like, you have to leave, people in your party are like, passing out, like, you know, people are fully cross-eyed, and I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a lot. It felt like a little bit of a, like, like a wedding. You know, when you're the, you know, we've all been married, the, when you get married, it's not the best day usually. Like it, like the ceremony is awesome, but like for me, it was like, you're, you're glad handing a lot. You're saying hi to all the aunts and uncles. You're going, you're, you're talking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're doing all that instead of like the, the, uh, like the two days before party was like the most fun, where it's just like you're relaxed, you're having a good time, you're with your friends. I'm still gonna send it. And that I think was the same, they, they had like a,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're fighting your uncle in the pool. Uh, they had a big, uh, party, a black tie event called the King's Gala, and that was like, we all wore tuxedos and went to, and it was like a nice ball, which was like, it would have been better than any wedding that, that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, this was all catered. It's smaller. There was probably like 500 people there or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about, like, outcasts? I forget what the acronym stood for, but it was like for like misfits. Outcasts. Outcasts. Oh. Mamba jamba. Motherfucking whip con.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We would have. At that point in the night, you might have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well you know, you know that there's different music besides just jazz music in New Orleans. That's true. They play all kinds of music there. It's just a very musical city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But wasn't it also kind of like an orgy? Wasn't, wasn't, uh, oh yeaah. They were back to back? Blowjobs and cunnilingus happening all over? Okay, here we go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was, I think that was the same night that me and Chloe, uh, renewed our vows drunkenly at like 3am. Was that the same night?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm an ordained minister. I could do that shit right now. And we're like, we're doing it right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I like didn't remember until the next day when they're like, yeah, and then you wouldn't, you renewed your vows and then everything like came back to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was like, oh shit. And then I was like, and none of us were wearing pants, and sure enough, Yea, I don't know why. There's videos of like all of us just with our pants at our ankles, uh, getting, uh, Underwear still on. Yea, underwear still on. And renewing our vows with Mikey giving a speech. Nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The crazy, so, so we know how much I, I, I drink caffeine, right? Everyone know, like you guys know, I'm a real addict, I have five, six cups of coffee every day, and then I switch to Red Bull or soda for the rest of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you have to Z? I didn't have one cup of coffee. I immediately went to vodka. I immediately went to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just like didn't. I ended up like, later in the night I would add like a Red Bull vodka or something, but like I never had... Like six or seven. I never just had like a cup of coffee or a soda or anything that didn't have alcohol in it. It was truly insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'm really good at drinking water. I'm a fucking pro water drinker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the mornings were a little rough. One of the first, uh, one of the first, uh, days, we went to a Chefalaya, which is this amazing restaurant, and we were having like a brunch there, and that was the hardest one for me to get. I felt like I wasn't living up to my Bacchus, kingly names, because everyone's giving


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People are giving speeches and stuff and like, I've been, everywhere I went I was giving a speech. Like I gave a speech, we stopped along the parade route, I gave a speech to the mayor, I talked with the mayor, and weirdly Joey Fatone, so I talked with the mayor,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's leaner than all of us though. He's a slight man. He's a tiny guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. Blake's not that slight though. Blake's, Blake's a thicc.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shrimp po' boy. I was like, go woah woah!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's pretty dry. It's mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is what makes it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you feel like it's not that, but you could also get a ham and essentially it's just like a ham sandwich or a turkey po'boy. You can get anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of, a lot of char-grilled oysters. A lot of char-grilled oysters, which are like, oyster covered in butter. Those are unreal. And, and they're fucking delicious, but uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might have, that's why I came back leaner. I like came back and I was like, I was like scared to step on this scale and I stepped on it and was like, oh, hey bitch. Maybe that's my...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My body responds well to just eating, uh, and consuming 12,000 calories a day. That's what I have to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Answering the question of like, what are you working on now? Right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, uh, they cancelled our movie, so, it's just a lot of... So, was finna do dis? And they're like, okay, so what are you doing now? And I'm like, bitch!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Essentially I would say that because people were astounded because I know all those guys, like Elizabeth Banks who directed the movie, uh, also was the producer and directed the second Pitch Perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she, uh, produced all of the Pitch Perfects. So like, I know her whole crew, just from the years of kind of knowing. And Bumper. And Bumper. Hello. That's my current show on Peacock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I totally did. And, uh, so I know her whole crew, so people were like, bitch, uh, what do you want?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, we've all kind of been waiting for this to happen. We've all talked about it. But yeah, we were all waiting for this to happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's super gory. I was like very pumped with the amount of like, true gore. Like it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Foul at certain points that you're just like, oh, and now, eating his guts and dragging the body with the intestines and the body's being dragged away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was so graphic in a way that you're just like, my god, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to dig out the old VHS's. Nature is metal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. I, I mentioned that not too long ago, and I was talking with a bunch of kids that were probably like 20, and... 10? You guys ever seen...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were like, they were like 10. No, but they, they, I was like, they were talking viral videos and I, and I said something about this, this stomp, the grape stomping lady, and they're like, what? And I'm like, yea, when she fell over, she was like, ow, ow, ow, ow. And they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, oh shit bitch. I was there when the internet started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You remember Buster Keaton when the house collapsed, uh, and he was fine?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, was it- not a whole- not a whole lot of sleeping happening, and then-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and it's like 105 degrees outside, it was so fu- it was one of the hottest days, and we're shooting in this like parking lot, and... It was, it is sticky hot over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then afterwards I like fucking passed out. But, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be, that would be so tight. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. Yeah, New Orleans is a cool place because there's so many super, super talented people. The Trombone Shorties, the Kermit Ruffins. You know what I mean? Fuck yeah, Ruffins bro. People that are like truly very talented musicians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and artists. And then there's just a guy on the, on, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot of great, there's a lot of great ones, and then there's also, it's the same thing as L.A., where like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're an institution, yeaah. Yeaah, yeaah, that's probably true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy's fuckin', he's the fuckin' fabric of this shit. Yeah, that's prob- that's probably true. If you're crazy for long enough, you become an institution, and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bro, if you can live through- Yeah, well in LA you become like the Hollywood Jesus or Angeline or, you know, you- I think it's the same. If you're lucky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's only once a year, dude. That is true. I know I feel stronger from it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We got any, uh, take backs? Apologies? Any epic giveaways? I know Blake has a take back from the very beginning of this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was a very cool dude. He told me to pace myself. I did not. Super sore. Uuuh. Yep. He's a wise man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I've had them for years and years and years and years now, probably the last eight, seven or eight years, and they are amazing. You slip your legs into them, they're like sleeves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then it releases it and it rushes back and your legs feel so rejuvenated. It feels, it sounds insane, it feels insane and super. First time, first squeeze.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Standing up. Standing up for the peeps. 2%, trying to get our 2%. Alright, come on now. We'll split it. Let's go. We just want them residuals. Let's get em ma. Okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like my 2% of the gross, like they just want studios to give that to the guild so that the guilds can disperse it amongst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Amongst their members, I believe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and don't quote me on the 2%. I thought it was 2% of the, I thought it was 2% of all of the profits that they were making as streamers comes back to the people. Okay. I think that's what, that's what I understood it to be. I could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm about to go into a little trip down memory lane when it comes to blacklisting because uhm, when I go to France I'm looking for my great great uncle's grave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can do it quickly, but it involves the Writer's Guild. I'll be right back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well Chaplin, you know a little known thing about the story about the mustache is that he had his character called the Tramp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Had that mustache and he was a beloved character before Hitler rose to power and actually the rumor is that Hitler grabbed that mustache so that people would love him immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they would be reminded of the tramp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here Charlie breaks the, he breaks the fourth wall and all of a sudden does this like impassioned speech to camera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the fourth wall? Polychar! And the reasoning that my uncle was like, no you can't do that is because they were making a satire. And at that point it was like- Oh, I've heard you say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he gets, he, he says on the grounds of satire, you cannot, uh, can't do it. Because the whole mission was to laugh in the face of the devil.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Aye, aye, aye. So he made a, so he made this documentary and they were like pulling money out of the US government and pulling money out of Hollywood to make this documentary called It's All True.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm. Right. My uncle was like, he got fed up with that. He's like, no, fuck this. I hate Hitler so much, I'm going, I'm joining World War II and I'm gonna go fucking kill him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was his? He became, he became an Alpha Team Ranger, which I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit. I don't know a lot about the military, but that shit's high up there. It sounds, sounds tight. It sounds... important. Yeah. And he put, he wanted to write the great American war novel, and so he- Oh my god. In Hitler's blood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Like kiss. So he fucking stormed the beaches of Normandy with a typewriter on his back. That's a bad move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Please. No, the shit sucks after that, the shit sucks after that, cause he goes to fucking Brest. After that? He does the Battle of the Brest, and he fucking- What's Brest? It's a place in France, uh, Northwest France. God, France is so cool. Famous battlegrounds. Battle of the pussy. Yeah, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well here's where the WGA comes in, because after he died in the war, the WGA gave him an award.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. So they, they had the Robert Meltzer award that was active for four years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool. And then, yeaah, it was sick. They gave it to like people who served, who were writers, and that was the whole...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's kinda cool. No, what happened was, is McCarthyism. Ohhhh. And then, so. Mmm, and now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So McCarthyism is what Ders was talking about at the beginning, which is the blacklist era in Hollywood where if you were a communist or if, if there was any chance you were a communist, you got blacklisted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That checks out. I'll say something checks out. In the grand scheme of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like when Russia shook hands, it was like when Russia shook hands with Germany. That was when it like failed. This is interesting. Because everybody thought that uncle, that Joe Stalin...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody thought that Joe Stalin was gonna like- Joey Stalin! Go beat up Germany, and then when he shook hands with Germany, people were like, what the fuck? And that was actually on the day they started filming The Great Dictator. Which is gnarly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then when, uh, and then when, when they shook hands, you know, it was fucked up. There was a ton of like... This is important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that was because all those people were like, we're doing this for the greater good of the community, but the problem was is that you have this dictator up top that then can turn and has control over everybody because nobody has any power, everybody's the same. So it was like kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's what happened. And then that's why there was so much genocide in Russia. And then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I heard that this- Okay, so let me finish- let me finish the story real quick. Can I finish it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then he- Bro, I gotta get to a meeting. No, no, this isn't an elevator pitch. This is like my fuckin' kin, bro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the irony is that he is buried in an American flag while also being labeled a communist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's buried, he's buried in an American, he was buried fighting fascism and like he died fighting fascism on the American side and he's still blacklisted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How'd you find out about him? My aunt was searching our family tree and saw a purple medal and was like, who's this guy?


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[Assistant] The auteurs, man, and this dude was, this dude was like, writing with him. It's cool. It's like, I found a...


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[Assistant] Nobody knows about this, but I found a, uhm, now they will I guess, but I found a, uh, his journals dude. He's got two years of journals working alongside Orson Welles.


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[Assistant] This guy was like a ghost. We couldn't figure out who the fuck he was. We were looking at him over the pandemic. We were looking at him and we found a speech by Dalton Trumbo.


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[Assistant] When he won the Laurel Award, which is I believe what he's winning at the end of that, that movie, in the actual transcription, he's like talking about Robert Meltzer.


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[Assistant] Who's that? And he's talking about like, he's like, he's like, we all know what the Laurel Award was. It was the Robert Meltzer Award.


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[Assistant] And then he said, and he, how ironic, a man who died in battle had a daughter named Joe Victory. And me and my brother were like, what the?


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[Assistant] No, the fuckin' highway robber, right? The robber?


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[Assistant] I wonder if he's in that other movie. What's the other movie? The Assassination of Jesse James by Coward, Robert Coward, Robert Fort, whatever is that? You know what I'm talking about?


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[Assistant] Yeah, Casey Affleck is it. Yeah.


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[Assistant] No, that's from, well he was, it's, it's, it's... Lore. Lore. You know how this stuff works? No, no, no. It's because he was publishing, uhm, while he was in the war. He was actually publishing to like Collier's Magazine and writing short stories and stuff like that.


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[Assistant] Well, you know who else is also, uh, the way that he got rolled on was because he was a part of, um, up by, rolled on for communist, you know, when, when they, when they blacklisted him. He was a part of a, a big group, uh, a group of actors called the Actors.


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[Assistant] Uh, studio? It's, it's like the actor's studio. It's, it's, it's Lloyd Bridges'- Bridges. Yeah, it's Lloyd Bridges', uh, uh, group that was basically up by UCB. And that's where a lot of-


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I'm looking at him right now, he's, he's not that...


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's fun. It was alright, it was a little bit, uh, it was... Mario Brothers? It's chaotic! You wonder, I wonder when I bring my kid and he's so little when it's just chaos and loudness, what that does, you know what I mean? Like...


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[Assistant] It was alright, it was alright. I didn't, I didn't really think one way or the other on it. It was...


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know what is going on. Like, can we slow this shit down for the little kid's brains, man? Can we do that?


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[Assistant] Dude, that's why there's no dough. That's why there's no dough. If they, if they, there's money in the box office. What the fuck are people doing? Why don't they just put it in the box office?


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[Assistant] No, it's, it's, if you put it in, if you put it in for four weeks or more, it will catch fire. You just have to put it in for a month, six months, and have it nowhere else.


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[Assistant] No, it's the theater companies that are like, fuck that shit, we're not gonna hold it. I know, I know, I know.


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[Assistant] If they, if they did starve the streamers, right? Don't you think that would increase demand in the theaters?


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[Assistant] Don't you think that then other movies might have a chance because you can't see these particular movies anywhere else for say six months? No, I will wait. I will wait.


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[Assistant] Don't think that would, I think that would increase demand. I like to watch at my house.


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[Assistant] I'm just putting it out there, I hope they're listening. I'm just putting it out there.


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[Assistant] I saw the Spider-Man scene, my bro showed me the scene where all the Spider-Mans are talking to each other and I was like, what fucking hoops did they jump through to make this work?


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[Assistant] Dude, I think they want to see interesting ones. I think you could fucking change. I mean, I'm holding on to, I guess, a time that...


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[Assistant] But the question is, back in the day, was Beetlejuice like a tent pole? Was that the question? Because I think it was. That's a good question.


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[Assistant] And if it wasn't anywhere else. Because you can't.


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[Assistant] I do. Yeah, I think so. I think so. In the theater. I think they'll get in their car and go see interesting movies. This is interesting.


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[Assistant] I know, it's, and it's hard, and if it is, if it is coming out, it's very hard to find amongst the stoop that is streaming. It's not getting its own, like,


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[Assistant] You know how hard it is to find shit? Everybody calls everything Netflix. It's like, what are you talking about? You don't find things.


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[Assistant] I'd like to apologize for any of the World War II facts that might have been wrong, or any of the communist facts. I'm learning about it all, I'm not a fishing auto, but you know what I mean?


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[Assistant] I'm trying, I think that's the key, I think that's the key Adam. We're trying, we're trying.


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[Assistant] It's, no, it's, it's uhm, a 12 hour drive.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, cause Cairn is south of France, on the south, south of the country.


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[Assistant] Can- Can is the name of the city? Can is the city, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so we're gonna fly up there. We'll be in Cannes for three days and then, or three-ish days, and then we're going up to do this cool journey, me and Adam, and we're gonna film.


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[Assistant] Uh, just a couple days up there, so I think the whole trip is like seven days. It's pretty fast. Awesome. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Dude, I don't know. That's uh, I don't want to put words in his dead mouth. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, but yeah, but you have the whole.


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[Assistant] Bro, bro, the communist rickroll.


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[Assistant] Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what's the most important, bottom line, critical thing happening on this planet. Today,


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[Assistant] What? Have you guys gotten paid for this? This is not a job as far as I know. Yeah, that's a pleasure.


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[Assistant] I don't believe they're gonna change in color cause these four are fake, right? But if you look to the side, they're yellower. And so I do... I have to get them widened at some point because the colors don't match. And I watch like movies or TV and I'm like, oh boy.


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[Assistant] So, I say this, I say this cause, uh, my eldest child is, uh, looking to get braces, cause I guess when he, like, swallow...


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[Assistant] When he swallows, his tongue goes forward, which is like pushed his teeth out a little bit. And I'm like, the doctor's like, we swallow real quick. He's like, see how his tongue goes out. And I'm like, then I'm sitting there swallowing. I'm like, I think my tongue goes out. Does everybody's tongue goes out.


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[Assistant] So like, when you swallow, does your tongue push against your teeth?


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[Assistant] So like, up here I had an ex- when I lost this one, there was another tooth in the way, so this one started growing in far apart from this one, and they had to like pull that one out.


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[Assistant] And I appreciate that, but I do just wish that they were my teeth.


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[Assistant] And I do have like moments where I'm like, What if I got braces back then instead of just getting caps? And I was like, I probably would have been booking constantly. Because I would have looked like a high school kid with braces and all that. It would have been like, my thing.


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[Assistant] No one would hire me. Not a young boy. I'm talking about when I moved to LA and got these, when my, when my, when my Gigi died and left me some money, I was like, I'm gonna get braces, laser my eyes. See, so that's what I can, I could maybe do. Shout out to Gigi. Get calf implants.


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[Assistant] Oh, good teeth. I think advancements in the dental world are almost constant.


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[Assistant] Every couple years, it's like, actually we don't do that anymore. It's a whole wildly new routine, with the exception of the old school, like, drill toothpaste, uh, or toothbrush thing. They haven't changed that.


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[Assistant] We talked about when I got my wisdom teeth pulled out and, uh, Seinfeld had an episode about how he went under, like, and like, as he was going under at the dentist, like, the people started, like, making out, like, the doctor and the, uh, the assistant. And then he woke up and his pants were undone.


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[Assistant] You know, they're like, how do you feel? I'm like, I'm good, but when I woke up, my pants were undone. My fly was open. And they were like,


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[Assistant] You know, you're sup- no, zero. My mom got like terrified and was like, okay, he's just talking but I'm like from Seinfeld and no one, no one thought it was appropriate.


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[Assistant] Yes. Yeah, it was weird. That was, it was very weird. Every joke before that. Standing ovation. Crushed. Right, right. Yeah, that was it. Uh, why, when that was when you got your


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[Assistant] Yeah. What joke did you say when your wisdom teeth were taking out?


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[Assistant] What was the first joke you ever told that didn't land?


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[Assistant] Okay, pre-911 after Unabomber. It's a pre-911 world, are you listening? A very specific time.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't remember that. He's not in it, but they talk about an SNL sketch, and they're like, and Katan is slaying it as always, and I'm like, yes.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, golden age. Hollywood land. What was happening?


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[Assistant] I don't know if you're pissing in a cup or something bro, like. Quick question, are you, are you, are you rocking with a giant soda?


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[Assistant] You have to piss back in the cup. You have to finish the- And a giant water?


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[Assistant] Yeah, I just made a sound for mine, and that's what that's gonna be, cause- Alright, I don't know if that's gonna be yours, but- Oh no, that-


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[Assistant] What? I just made a sound. You had one job. I had better.


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[Assistant] You guys know I was a police officer before I got into comedy. I thought he was... He's doing water coke. I can see that. I know how it works. Water coke? That's not a good combo.


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[Assistant] I was thinking the same thing because obviously the, we wanted to give something very special to our audience with the workaholics movie, so it was going to be a little pricey, but the whole shtick of crossbows is that it's cheaply made, so like, I feel like we could do it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's got that like awesome theme song. You've heard the theme song.


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[Assistant] You're taking- you're talking about like, alternative school. Yeah. We called it alternative school. It was the fourth floor at our school with the babies. Yes.


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[Assistant] It was like a small and everyone was trying to kill each other. Wait a second.


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[Assistant] Your boy Taika's doing it, dude. No, I know. It's Taika and Jemaine. They're both doing it. It's out. They're shooting right now in New Zealand.


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[Assistant] I heard there's no little people in it and that was a problem for Terry Gilliam.


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[Assistant] And doing all those crazy, like, I don't know what you would call those, those animations.


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[Assistant] If you can finish it, if you can get through it, I'll give you one million dollars. It was cool when you were a kid. It's a tough movie, yeah. Yeah, cause it really doesn't make sense. Kinda.


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[Assistant] He, uh, what I read the other day in my trashy newsfeed, which is a whole other thing, uh, was that he walked off set, because he was like, he walked off set because there was no little people cast in the film.


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[Assistant] Right. Well why, why aren't they? And are they, is there a specific, a specific like- Specific? You had it right.


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[Assistant] He created Watchmen and yea. Even though the Watchmen series was fine, I don't think he'd be- Yea, I thought it was cool. I really liked it. But like, this is the guy who like reinvented comic books and is considered a genius and also considered not like a great guy.


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[Assistant] He's in my league. Probably the money, you know what I mean, but then- He actually is the guy who created League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.


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[Assistant] Wait, Adam, you said that the Damien Chazelle movie was super cool. Was it? Yeah.


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[Assistant] You started doing this a lot? Ready to go to bed.


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[Assistant] Mank is about, uh, Mankiewicz, the guy who wrote Citizen Kane. So it's about his journey kind of getting in with, uhm... And how are you related to him, Kyle?


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[Assistant] That's disappointing. A few, many, many years ago I went into an open house and he was there. I didn't know he was there, but some like, teenagers came over and they were like, oh shit dude, like we watch our show with your, uh, my dad all the time. And I was like, awesome, that's dope. Bringing families together. And then Gary Oldman comes around the corner and he's like, Dad, look!


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[Assistant] Definitely watch Mank. He gives a great performance. The movie is wild. I think he was nominated? Was that when he had like the fat suit on? Was he big? I don't think he was big, no.


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[Assistant] Fucking, uh, uh, the offer. Which is about the making of... Cause he was like, what the hell are these movies?


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[Assistant] Be Rabbit. On Paramount Plus, at midnight, watch it. It stars me, Diego Bonetta, Monica Barbaro. Go check it out. I'm going to Mexico City tomorrow for the premiere. We gon' have fun.


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[Assistant] February, February 10th. I think it comes out on the 10th. Yea, February 10th.


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[Assistant] I don't even know why I'm talking about it. You guys have all already seen it out there. Thank you TII Nation.


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[Assistant] I don't want to get into it.


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[Assistant] Spill the tea. Super nicest dude ever. Every night we film- I was only there for two weeks. But like every night was a fiesta.


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[Assistant] He had like a palette of meat sent to the hotel and we ate like perfectly cooked steaks and all this shit. It was off the chain. Oh my god.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Mexico took care of us. It was a good time. And I never went to Mexico City, so I'm excited to see... Yeah, I do want to go there. ...a different type of Mexico, right? I'm always like, oh yeah, palm trees, like white sand beaches. I heard Mexico's...


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[Assistant] I mean, it's like 15 million people? What's the pop- Todd, what's the population of Mexico City?


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's a big one. What's the pop? I wouldn't be surprised if it's bigger. Todd, don't let me, don't let me down.


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[Assistant] As of 2016, it's probably double that now. What's LA? Three? It's quadruple that now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, come on. Wait, but remember we flew into Lima? The population of Lima is fucking like 12 billion. Todd, it's probably six. So Todd is at six.


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[Assistant] I don't know if we should get into population


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[Assistant] And until we went there. You don't know about Lima? But why were you landing there, Adam?


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[Assistant] And you said, you said pilot, take me away. Isaac says to go visit possible wedding spots. Okay.


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[Assistant] Wonder Woman's gonna be there. Welcome to my heroin birthday. This is Harriet Tubman and Wonder Woman.


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[Assistant] Back, you just back away into the bushes? Oh fuck, he's, he's ODing, he's ODing!


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[Assistant] Sometimes you gotta have people check you, you know what I mean? It's always good. Bring you back down to earth. It's good for relentless.


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[Assistant] And other streamers, uh, come talk to us about crossbows and mustaches. Yeah, that's right.


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[Assistant] Yeah, thank you. Thank you. I've missed you tremendously. How many did we do without you? I don't know. I don't know. That's a good question. That's only you can answer. Three?


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[Assistant] Yeah, had to. Just, you know, schedules. But, uh, I felt- And how are your toes? My toes are cold. My toes are currently cold.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, I don't have socks on. I don't have socks, okay? Uhm. You're out of socks?


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[Assistant] Can you, can you do that? Something that you could do? Is that real bear?


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[Assistant] That's solely because your shirt, because your shirt is rubbing against this material, huh? And that's why that's happening.


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[Assistant] Miriam! Is that a female or a male? Miriam Webster. I think it's two different guys. Probably two guys.


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[Assistant] So they hold the keys. And Roger. They hold the keys to what's a word.


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[Assistant] It's probably like the family and the descendants of Miriam. You know? Miriam.


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[Assistant] So what's good about this, what's good about this is you can use all these words in Scrabble. That's what this is all about. Like you can, next time you're playing Scrabble, yeah, next time.


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[Assistant] Well what other phrase is it only delicious that has delicious or is there any other thing with that suffix?


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[Assistant] That's gonna be down to the calves. Just like, gimme them calves, baby.


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[Assistant] That's pretty good. The elephant skin? That shit that's like- This is called like your- It's called like your- Yea, it's called your elbow.


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[Assistant] Alright, let's look this up. I'm gonna look up, I'm gonna do a Google, I'm gonna say Nutsack. What's the elbow skin called? Oxford, is this in the Oxford? Nutsack Elbow. Wienis!


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[Assistant] I'm not finding anything right now of any-


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[Assistant] I know the song. I could have, I could have sang the song with you. I could have, but I didn't know Weedus. I didn't know that name at all.


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[Assistant] Wait, but Siri is Microsoft? Is Siri Microsoft? Hold up. Hold up.


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[Assistant] Maybe it was like an ad that you, that was getting you. Maybe Siri was advertising Bing or something.


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[Assistant] That would be a cool life path, yeaah.


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[Assistant] It's like walkie jargon. It's, it's walkie jargon. People say copy that.


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[Assistant] And see how I'm doing. It's like, uh, it's like Super Size Me. This is like Super Size Me, but with opioids.


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[Assistant] That's fucked up. Man, the guy had real good McDonald's rhythms and then like that fucking movie came in and just jacked them all up. I'm sorry.


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[Assistant] Yes, it would be, you're busting into, you're busting into spring. You're celebrating spring with a little shamrock shake. Look at the Irish.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. But, wasn't Lazy Sunday, was the SNL thing? That was SNL. No, I know, but it- That was by the time they went to SNL. You're talking about, like, maybe Stork Patrol or fuckin'.


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[Assistant] That's like the big, big drama. There's also, there's also something where Gallagher claimed that he was the reason that Ninja Turtles 1 came out as a movie. Like he had that, like he was involved in it. I believe it. Yea, that makes sense. Yea, I believe it, for sure.


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[Assistant] Yes, you're right. He was the original champion of that project, I think. I love that. Damn.


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[Assistant] It'll be good to hear it, but I just haven't heard it for a while. Okay.


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[Assistant] Some people quote movies, we just use the movie.


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[Assistant] But here's the thing, uh, here's the thing Adam, what if you're funny in your head because you've never been, you've never had that many friends, you have a good sense of humor in your mind, and nobody knows you as funny.


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[Assistant] Sure. And then you start doing stand up, and then you...


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[Assistant] So were they funny to begin with? And like closeted funny people?


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[Assistant] I thought you were talking about more of like a basement NorCal. Okay, okay. Oh, sure.


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[Assistant] Wait, what are those? Maybe he's wearing them, maybe he's not. What are those? They wanted to advertise. One of those companies wanted to advertise with us where you could like stick your dick in a bigger dick and wear it.


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[Assistant] Here's the rub. If it's too small, you can't support this giant monster on your thing.


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[Assistant] No, it's still pretty- It's gotta be all advertisements.


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[Assistant] Can I tell you that it's a full circle moment here? Just real quick.


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[Assistant] Go from one thing to another? Yes. Whoever the fuck started that.


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[Assistant] This is regarding a movie that Kyle produced that's gonna be coming out.


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[Assistant] Uh, these guys have not listened to the ad at all, correct?


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[Assistant] But the, but the, before all the forensics really kicked in, I mean, what was that show about forensics beginning, right?


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[Assistant] Killers and being like, let's put ourselves in the heads of them. The FBI is like, what are you fucking high?


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[Assistant] That's not a person who's in law school or in, in getting their doctorate or their master's degree. Usually those people are pretty focused orcs. Uhm, no, we should put, let's put out the feelers, the question, if you're a lawyer and you're listening,


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[Assistant] Wait, who was talking about Michael Douglas on one of the episodes?


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[Assistant] Because I feel like he's pretty much a guy in peril in a lot of his movies.


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[Assistant] I feel like if you watch it now, it's the comedy version of itself.


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[Assistant] Traffic is the inciting incident. He's middle management. He's sick of getting left over. He's in a divorce. He might not be seeing his daughter ever again. And so he leaves his car in traffic and sets out to go across Los Angeles.


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[Assistant] Yeah. To see his daughter, and on the way, he's racist, sexist, all sorts of stuff, thinks he has a point.


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[Assistant] What's Robert Duvall say? His, like, license plate is like, Justice!


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[Assistant] And he like puts it together. And Duvall, it's his last day on the force.


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[Assistant] He got, uh, like Instagram famous during the pandemic. People were like, who is this guy?


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[Assistant] And it's like he's a famous actor who's been around forever.


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[Assistant] Blake's in the movie without his hair, watch it, like see, tell us what you think.


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[Assistant] I don't know, you guys wanna do, uh, you wanna do like, apologies, take backs, and uh-


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[Assistant] What about uhm, like what is there? There's a pure improv show, The Murderville. You guys seen that on Netflix? Nooo. You haven't? I have.


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[Assistant] They gotta be covered. They're not weatherproof. There's no pool table that's not gonna pool up with water, okay?


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[Assistant] Uh, are from ffffuckin' while and out, dude. While and out hat.


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[Assistant] So this is a good digestive tracker too, like you know how long it took you to digest your food.


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[Assistant] I know you can eat corn, you can eat corn and check it out, cause like if you don't have a lot of corn, you just fucking throw some corn in there.


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[Assistant] So that's a day and a half. Yeah, so that's, so you're right on.


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[Assistant] And to be, I mean, the only time I've ever done a cold plunge is next to a hot tub. I did it in Calistoga.


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[Assistant] Where I was like in the hot tub and then in the cold plunge and I could do the cold plunge for about 2 minutes around 50 something. Oh wow. And then I would go back. So Adam, you're on another level bro.


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[Assistant] But you're in up to your neck though, right? You're in up to your neck, yeaah.


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[Assistant] No, dicks are getting smaller and it's like, I'm right on track with how small they're getting.


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[Assistant] You know what I was thinking about doing on this? Have you heard of these, have you heard of these full body scans that you can go in and get and you just, you just go your whole,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember last year when I went to, uh, throw out the first pitch at the A's game? And, uh, when I was in the A's... Was that me and you together when we did it? No, no, when I went to Oakland.


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[Assistant] Oh, okay. Yes. I went to Oakland at the beginning of the season, and one of the pitchers for the A's, James Caprillion, he like took me aside and he's like, dude.


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[Assistant] That, definitely. People, they hate what they are not allowed to be, because- Well, they think that they're not allowed to, uh, lie. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It's like an egg in a nest. Right. It looks like a little baby.


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[Assistant] And then like, he does a stand up where he's like, sheet, that was a fucking chess move there.


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[Assistant] Mhm. Cause now everybody thinks I have this huge dick, and then when they see it they're like, wow it's very regular.


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[Assistant] Why do they call them McMansions?


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[Assistant] I think you're talking like McDonald's. Okay, good.


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[Assistant] They just get it quick to order, so this is like a McMansion, they just pop up. There, it's, so it's, it's cheap.


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[Assistant] Well, it could have also been like maybe there was some guy named like, uh, Mark McGuire.


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[Assistant] Yes, it's very- it's trim. Yeah, board. Hey, board head, I'm on board. Nooo!


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[Assistant] My mom was gonna be like, I'm gonna go chorg your stepdad about that.


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[Assistant] And we did say Chorg in the show, okay? We exp- I told Bill to look it up, alright?


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[Assistant] That would be great if, if- What is it? Onomatopoeia? What is it?


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[Assistant] If you're, if you're part of like a, like a country club or like a, like what's the one in Studio City? It's insane.


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[Assistant] I want to say it's $30,000 a month.


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[Assistant] 100, 100,000, I'm gonna say $125,000 to join.


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[Assistant] Yeah, see, dude, do they talk about the one near, like, Toluca Lake? That one's pretty exclusive.


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[Assistant] He always has, uh, seltzer waters, he always has Coke Zeroes, he always has beers, he always has, uhm, you know, some sort of maybe a tonic, gin and tonic. That's so cool.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he, he goes, he goes weird. You're trying every Oreo flavor.


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[Assistant] Huh, it sounds like a terrible idea.


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[Assistant] Do uhm, do you blend it with ice or you just drink it straight up?


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[Assistant] I just shaved my beard too, son of a bitch. Ah, that's up.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I saw that. Holy shit, man. Every- you guys, we gotta, we gotta scale it back. They call these things...


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[Assistant] Well, how calm are the waters there? Right. And the boat has, the boat has the thing. Those waters in the Bahamas were very calm. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I did not like that show at all when it did come on like FX or whatever.


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[Assistant] This dude just looks like John Madden. He has like a football player's body. He looks amazing.


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[Assistant] Gillian? Are you talking about... Oh, he can't even say his name. Was he the first guy ever to have swoop bangs? Is he the original emo swoop bang?


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[Assistant] Sailors had on the whole time, didn't they? But the swoop bangs were hangin'.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm looking at nude photos of Ben Denver.


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[Assistant] If you have Bob Denver, like, and Kid didn't know him, they might think he just is the front man of like Vampire Weekend. This guy has swag, bro.


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[Assistant] Anders, can you answer this? Did, did this show take place over like, Did this show did this? Did this dude just did this? How long were they on this island? Years. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they're stuck. But they never change clothes? They have the same clothes every episode.


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[Assistant] Well hey, I love Lucy was insanely funny.


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[Assistant] Does this one count? Three's company.


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[Assistant] Well I stand by, I stand by I Love Lucy. That is by far the funniest black and white TV show.


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[Assistant] I love the swing, did anybody watch the new movie? The Rob Zombie one? I wanna watch it.


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[Assistant] Yes, and it's- it's weird. He like kept the same- Who's Eddie Munster?


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[Assistant] It's really bizarre, they like kept the exact tone.


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[Assistant] And, uh, well, I have a candy critique, um, freeze-dried skittles. Very delicious. If you can get your hands on freeze-dried skittles, they are so good.


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[Assistant] You can, uh, order them online, but basically it's like they put, uh, Skittles in a freeze dryer or whatever, and they expand, they like puff up, and they're very delicious. You gotta try them.


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[Assistant] I don't know. They make freeze-dried Starburst freeze-dried. Real man of jean.


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[Assistant] Get on there if you got a PC. I love it. Internet Explorer.


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[Assistant] That's it. Congrats to Durs for placing 80th out of how many people at the Malibu Triathlon.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Blake is real mad. I am. Oh, what happened?


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[Assistant] Yeah, how far is 10k? What is? 6.2 miles. Okay.


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[Assistant] And why is running the hardest for you? You're like, uh, and, and from the photos it seems like you've ran and swam the titties off. To me I was like thinking maybe your titties like kind of, uh, hold you down and that's why you're not, you're not the grit.


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[Assistant] You're one of the skinniest I've seen you in a very, since, since you were a true youth.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I'm also injured all the time, and, uh.


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[Assistant] CDT Yoga? Uh, Blake, what was with that photo of you dressed as the fucking goblin or the purple goblin or whatever the fuck you were from, it was in a Workaholics episode, but- Oh yeaah. Your ass looked non-existent to the point that Kyle thought I- That was CGI. Somebody fucked that up. No, that's his, he posted that photo. That's from Blake's Instagram.


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[Assistant] Well, you went outside, didn't you? That's what happened. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It doesn't look great, Blazer. I mean, yea Blake, it doesn't look that great, dude. What's wrong with it? What have you done with your life? Well, it's sort of not there anymore.


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[Assistant] Oh dude, I just saw the Kaniac special for like a thousand wings. You can buy a thousand wings.


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[Assistant] No, it's a thousand wings. It's just a few hundred bucks, but it's like the party clatter that you can get through canes. I'm like, this seems- Who's counting those wings? Some like 16 year old is like 99. Yeah, it's like 99. The fuck it doesn't matter. Just get it. Oh, fill the whole thing.


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[Assistant] Yes, it's, it's my, it's like my joints and my ankles and my, and my knees.


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[Assistant] Yes. So, and so I guess there's fluid in it. So I went to a urologist and he was like, it's a normal amount of fluid. It is muscular.


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[Assistant] Yes. So I went to this bro, this fucking, uh, bro physical therapist guy that just like got grease and oil all over his like elbows and just was fucking digging.


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[Assistant] Uh, run it back. See what I said.


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[Assistant] Have my leg, like, positioned on, uh, like, all, like, sides.


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[Assistant] So I had it in between my legs, and then, like this. Like this, and then like that.


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[Assistant] You got a sore ass. And also, did you know that they don't call physical therapists physical therapists anymore? They're called like physiotherapists. They added a note to us. That seems weird. They were like, you got to go to a physiotherapist. I'm not saying it. I'm not saying it.


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[Assistant] And then I go there and I'm like, this is a physical therapist office. He's like, yeah, we don't really go by physical therapists anymore. And I'm like,


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[Assistant] And then he went, and then I went back on, uh, on that Monday and did it again, felt great again. And then I was like, oh, so can I ride a bike again? And he's like, yeah, I think you could get back on a bike again. Rode my bike yesterday.


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[Assistant] Uh, Rick Flair has a weed company now. Oh yea, no pigeons.


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[Assistant] Was that a clapback? It was. It was a clapback to No Scrubs. No Scrubs was the, the, the hit song.


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[Assistant] Scrubs, everyone knows what a scrub is. You're like, oh, that person's a scrub. You're like, yeah, you can.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but that wasn't a hit, no one knew that. I did? No, none of us were like, oh yeah.


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[Assistant] Blake, play the most popular Aquafina song, please.


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[Assistant] Uh, du-dude, obviously. Just how it sounds.


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[Assistant] Blue shot. Okay, okay. Okay, so she's Provax.


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[Assistant] Wow, what? Dude, the clap backs are real. To dirt nasties my dick. No, Mickey.


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[Assistant] That was right around the time that we were doing, uh,


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[Assistant] We tried to find them for months! Heavy runner-ups. We tried to find them for a very long time to like, do like a party with us, right? Like we wanted them for South by Southwest, we wanted them for all kinds of things, and we just literally couldn't track them down.


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[Assistant] I did not. I did not. I know that Keenan and Kel obviously meant a lot to people that are within three to four years of our ages. Yes.


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[Assistant] Does it mean anything to anyone else other than it's we're so nostalgic? Older or younger? No. We're so nostalgic for it that like they're excited that we're excited? It's, it's, it's huge for us though.


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[Assistant] Sterling Brown, fucking stand up for this shit.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was such like a niche thing that like, and I, cause I watched the clip of it and there was no joke to it. It was just like, Kel's here and they're, they just hugged and


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was good. Yeah, you said I'll take a good burger or something like that. Yeah.