[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I would think you would learn it more on the fly, but it's, yeah, like unless you're a doctor, you're like doing something that's really going to happen. I just don't, you know, uh, it just doesn't make sense. And here's something, I know these are not all the classes that there's other classes, but this is, this is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it should have been. Why are we taking this class? Cause you guys are going to need some new friends after you tell them you're taking a friendship class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We have a Helix mattress. We do have it. We love it. I know I've messed up on all these words. We were sleeping on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've had everybody's sleep on it, every comics come in town, they've swept on it, all kinds of sizes, as I've always said. All of them fit. Nick to Justin. Uh, I mean, yeah, that's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's a 400 pound gap that we've had lay on this mattress and everybody loves it. It's awesome. Uh, they have a quiz you take. It's just two minutes. You complete it, matches your body type, sleep preference to the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perfect matches for you. Everybody is unique and Helix knows that as we know that because we've had them all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go to helixsleep.com slash Nate, take the two minute sleep quiz.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're matching with that mattress. They have a 10 year warranty and you get to try it out for 100 nights, risk free. They will even pick it up for you if you don't love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're going to love it. Honestly, it's a wonderful mattress. Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattresses, orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put a kill switch. That's another really funny one. Kill switch. It's called Will's kill switch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you hear that story? I just saw the headline, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? Yeah. And then who gets it after the dog dies? Cause I'd be watching that dog. I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The cat and you're like, oh no. And then they, they got to just keep killing all these animals. You go over his house. It's like a zoo worth of animals. And you're like, dude, I'm never, this guy's just slaughtering animals. Like just trying to get this five months. Cause eventually it goes to him and he's like, the work I had to put in, I don't know if it was worth it to be honest. I mean, I have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He only left him, uh, 200 grand for some reason, couldn't count. Uh, yeah, that's, uh, I did see that. So, uh, all right, this week, uh, uh, so we were, we were going to talk about video games. I, uh, you know, cause I was, I was watching like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Eric that made the, the audio that we posted on, he made it a music or whatever. What is it? Our auto tune of the podcast. Yeah, it was really good. Yeah. And then, uh, that's how bored he was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Millions of people, or, you know, billions, or, Kayla, what, you said billions, right? Like, how many people watching this stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I mean, it's, it's just, uh, the world of video games, cause I mean, they were, it was nothing. Video games were nothing. I remember, what, do you remember your first video game? I think we had an Atari.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I got Sega was the first, like, one I remember getting after that. I mean, I'm pretty sure we had an Atari. An N64.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unstoppable, you could run back and forth. You would just run, you would run it, uh, I mean, you would just, you would go to the goal line and then turn around and run back and then keep doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There, I remember going to, you could go to Walmart, uh, and they would have like, you know, Street Fighter and all those video games in the main engines. They didn't have that anymore? Like in Walmarts? Some Walmarts do, they have a little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you wouldn't have started describing it, I might have believed you, now I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been to Walmart. Kmart had layaway. Like a layaway thing. Walmart has.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I, I, I don't, I mean, maybe, maybe some like middle of nowhere Walmarts, but I don't, I don't think your, your mainstream Walmarts are the ones that are frequently traveled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The green room has video games and then add them there, put them in there. And, uh, and then they, and they have, and there's arcade bars. They have an arcade bar there. And so like, that's kind of a, there's one here in Nashville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Buildings there, but there's car dealerships. There just wasn't. It's very confusing maybe if someone's like midtown. I'm like, what? Uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I remember going, so I remember we'd go to the Walmart and then, uh, we'd play video games there. I don't know, that's right, I thought that's something, I don't know. Dude, if you, uh, god, what was I gonna say? Alright, was it about the Bellevue, Washington?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was, uh, I was thinking about a video game, an old video game that would be the first one you played. Go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, it's, it's, it's, it's wild. So I play, I have, I play, uh, PGA 2K1, a golf game. Uh, so I play that a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's a golf game. I love it. And, you know, uh, Call of Duty, I was always like, I liked going through the campaign. I didn't like online stuff. So I think I'm too old for online stuff. I don't, I'm not a big fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's just a zoo that goes on in there. And so that was never, never fun to me. Like I, and I wasn't introduced to video games in an online world. So it was a new thing I saw where I think people that now, you know, my, my daughter plays Roblox. That's online. And so like they're, they're just used to, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, which I think it all adds to like, it makes people not feel like they're, people are humans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you're just talking, I mean, the people that talk crazy on a thing, you're like, you're talking to another human.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes them like their interactions are not good with people cause they-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they would make fun of it like, where you go blame it on video games? So there should be video games. You're like, I mean, it's a-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kid that's 15 that's just playing for 9 hours just shooting people in a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I played Call of Duty, I liked campaign mode and I would always do the camp, just the campaign and that was it. I never did online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, halo was big. Halo was probably the biggest one. That was the first gigantic online big one. My buddy was on it. He might, uh, my buddy Kenny was ranked high on it. He buys actually old pinball machines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But he would, uh, he'd rank it, he'd always be ranked very high. He played college football, which is coming back. I would probably buy college football. That was very fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever see the Virginia Tech opening?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At night, I mean, just like, I mean, you would be like, just to feel that energy, dude, I would, I wouldn't, when they open back up, I would definitely go back. I want to go to Virginia game just to see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, so what's in the app, sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spinning that thing. It's a two minute video on this? Oh come on. That's insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This game is brutal. And you're like, how long is it two minutes? You're like, yeah, just show me a picture of it, dude. Like, or maybe a boomerang. That's about all I can handle, uh, watching this. And then you see young Brian just over there, just watching. Over their shoulder, just over their shoulder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, can we, is there a volume button? They even, they don't even know that word yet. They go, is there a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, roulette makes sense. Submarine, I don't, you know, submarine could be the space thing and you make the screen blue and you're like, you're underwater and you're like, oh, is it the same as, yeah, we just call submarine and we sell them separately. What is that? It's the same as, you know, computer space, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is the equivalent of today like $500?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just spinning around. Yeah. Well, I guess it was, it was just made for, yeah, like people at home, you know, like, I mean, it's like, yeah, like a scientist is office. That's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah. That's what's going on. Like they're making that instead of, uh, cancer stuff. Uh, you know, like, why don't they go, what'd you do today? Any, any, uh, stuff on cancer? You're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Star game. Made of what? Made of what? It's a game where you're in space and you're on a star and another thing is trying to shoot you. And you're like, oh yeaah, that's cool man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So cancer's kind of a big deal though, you know, like, I mean, so, you know, whenever you get some time, it's not like they just flip a switch. They probably spend two months on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Uh, yeaah. No, yeaah. You wanna go, I mean, Kid Rock would go, uh, you went and paid for people's layaway, which is very cool. At Walmart. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me know if someone can't afford a turkey and I'll send one over. How many are you sending? How many people on Instagram are going, I know someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That can't, they just want a turkey. I don't know how much a turkey is. $15, $20. Probably weren't that, but something like that. So it's not a thousand dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, not much in between, but there, so I just, I don't know. That's the stuff that always just drives me. Like it's the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea of being, you know, making this big statement, say, just do it, man. Just go or go to a, you know, a soup kitchen. Be like Kid Rock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] $81,000 worth of layaways at Nashville Walmart. Yea, look, I understand that people can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll go pay you $81,000 worth of layaway at Walmart, but it's, it's, I don't know. He just went and did it. He didn't announce, Hey, I'm going to go do that. I don't think, I mean, they find.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, of course, Walmart lets them know. I mean, Kid Rock comes in and pays for it. They're gonna, they're gonna say the story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not going to not say the story. I mean, you know, Keanu Reeves was always like paying for all these hospitals. He didn't tell anybody, but they find out and then they, and the story gets out and so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's like, I understand that. Like given, like your, your, yeah, it's like, I donated this thing. We're doing turkeys. If you need one, come down and get one. Like that kind of thing. It's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I just can't, you know, I don't know. All right. I think that was a big model. People are trying to do good things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. If you saw your name on a machine. Right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you knew a whole where to go, you had to have it memorized. Isn't there's a documentary about Pac-Man, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or something, or Donkey Kong. Yeah, King of Kong. King of Kong. Yeah. He was like the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they, they had consoles, Atari, like, so it was Atari and then that was in Sega or no? Sega wasn't out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, Super Mario Bros. is probably the, is, I mean, that's, that's the, that would probably be most people's, is that your, your first game, you go think that, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That I wonder if like kids now are not going to know the weird kind of things you had to do to make something work. TVs, you had to do antennas, you had to, if you ever had an antenna, you had to like really mess with it a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it was like, you know, you have a TV back then and like having a baby, like you're just always like, you can't sit down. It's going to something, something's going to happen. A cloud goes over, but then Nintendo and stuff, you would have to be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, your parents didn't know how to do it. Like now, your PlayStation...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I understand like why that's, I get why that's fun. It is, it's very fun. But I remember thinking like, I was like, well I'll play video games for the rest of my life. And then you do just hit an age and you just kind of don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, I wanna say it's maybe in your thirties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I'm kind of now back playing golf, but I just play my little golf. I like the golf game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I could go through some other, I could get in moods. I'll get in moods where I want to play a bunch of video games. And then I get, then I could not play it for six months. We have it on the bus. I mean, the only reason it's on the bus, I mean, we have nothing to do but play this video game. Uh, but yeah, you don't, I don't know. It's funny. You do, you just hit an age that you just kind of, some people do and you just kind of get out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I choose yes. So I mean I do real golf. So like that's the, yeah. So I mean, yes. If I was into video games, I would make it happen. But my desire just went away and I'm the greatest average American. So it's probably everybody's desire. It's a, I think when you get older, you don't want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody dies in organ drill. From dysentery?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like you'd play this game and just, I mean, your whole family's wiped out. Like you're just losing, you know, and it's kind of a brutal game. Like you just, I mean, just everybody's gone. Have you ever seen Oregon trail or we just play Oregon trail. Oh, really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeaah, this was, when did this come out? Uh, 85. Yeaah, so yeaah, this is in my, you're seeing this special, one thing I talk about, of my generation, is I am called the Oregon Trail Generation. Cause I was born, uh, 79 and we are, this was a big game for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I don't really remember. I remember really elementary school, I feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never could get it. I just like, this is so boring. You don't like it? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tetris. I don't, I'm not the most mindless kind of gamer. Tetris was, Tetris was a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a game that I play this, uh, Baron, Bike Baron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a motorcycle game and you, but you control it. You don't have to move the, sometimes I always feel, sometimes I feel too lazy to move my phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would think it would, uh, inspire a lot more movers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, when Tetris was built, you should have been like, and we had just a gigantic amount of the moving industry was through the roof, too many jobs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Cause everybody had the Tetris. Cause everybody had Tetris. Yeah. And they wanted a second. I'm, I can pack a car. Yeah. I do real life Tetris and I'm great at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We were in the office. You want me to come back to your car? Are you good at it for real? Do you take pride in it? Yeah, I'm really good at placing stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I remember going, that's when I remember going to Walmart. The Walmart in Hermitage, uh, now it's a Hobby Lobby. Old Hickory Boulevard, Lebanon Road. And, uh, they had more combat. And that was definitely, your parents didn't know what game you were playing. Like you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like Mortal Kombat was, you know, Street Fighter was just a fighting game. Mortal Kombat, I mean they had those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Extra kills. I never was like, unreal. There was kids that were unbelievable at it. I never was like, unreal at video games. But they could do everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you said mature and then you said, when you said mature, I thought you were like saying a name, someone's name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm too mature for your age. If you're, if you're a kid, stop being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stop being so immature. Immature.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think these kids go slap you in the face when he says like, I think that would be a kid that would show zero respect for authority. And there's a chance his parents walk up and they go, what happened? And he goes, he said immature. And then the parents suspect. And then you're, you're like an, uh, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like a, it's a longer walk to get into that word, the way you say it. Like it's immature, just feels like you keep going, are you going to stop? Immature is like, we're getting to the point, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, uh, I remember playing Resident Evil and it was scary. Like you played at night and then you, it was like, I can't do this dude. Like it's too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like, I mean, I have, uh, we've got the PS4 VR and, uh, it's, we have the Batman game. First night I played it. It was two in the morning. I'm up here. It's just dark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, I mean, I had to, I had to lift my goggles up a couple times. It's just, it's a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's two in the morning and it's just like, you know, I'm just afraid I'm on a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, pull down something, something's going to jump out at me and like it's, and then some stuff does jump out at him. It's crazy. And they got other games where you're riding a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So big. Playstation 1 I think was grey. And the circle was on top.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's like a travel one. Like that's a special PlayStation 1 launch. Yeah, it's great. If you're listening, it's off-white. You're right. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can put it either way. No, no, no, you can't. Not in the places where it's grey. It's, it, I'm colorblind. And I know it's grey. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I forget whatever, I mean, if I do a colorblind test. Red. Where you do reds, greens, I have trouble with browns. Uh, I'm being colorblind. I know that's great. I guess you're right. That's great. I guess you're right. I mean, it's not, it's not a guess. You're right. It's just say it's great. Like it's great. If outside of this situation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If someone walked up and handed it to you and they go, what color is it? You're going to go gray. You're not going to argue with the guy that it might be white. You had a white one in your head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's insane to call it white when it's gray. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, it's not that it's, it's, it's, it's pure insanity to go like. Look, it's not pearl. It's not pearl white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, if you're in the room, I'll keep going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So long as rock has been famous. Yeah, I was kinda surprised.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the one that, that's the PlayStation one. That's what I said from the get go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we weren't all just going to Notre Dame, taking friendship classes and you're in the hard knocks of life. We had a gray one that was bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you walk over it with your pocket into your friend's house? You just had, that's how small it was. I'll bring my PlayStation over to the white one. The white one or the gray one? Oh, there are both. They're both white.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so I mean, I, I, like, I remember, I never, never got into it. I guess, I was like starting to trail off the video games of this moment. 2005, I was, I mean, I started comedy. Yeah, you were doing comedy every night. I was doing comedy every night. Yeah, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's cool. No way. How do you get that stat? How? I don't know. On earth does that stat come about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20% of children in the UAE started playing instruments because of guitar hero. Where?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean... You don't believe stats unless they back up your argument.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I say, I always say it's a stat, so who knows, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, that's, you believe that's, we're just spouting off information. Theoretically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You asked every, that's what you went around, someone did, who asked that? 80% of kids did not, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, go look up the reference. I would see what, what is that reference? I don't believe any of it. It all is going to go to, well, this guy said it to this guy said it, but I'm just saying when they get these stats, who are they asking? Is there people that want to get asked?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they just multiply it by how many people are there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have so much trouble, you know? Would you tell your friends that? Maybe that's why you lost all your friends and had to go start over in a friendship class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you would add, they go ahead, you don't play guitar here. You know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I never knew, I remember seeing that. Who's playing this? Gamers hated it. They were like, this is a joke. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they never respected it? No. I remember doing it, but we didn't go buy it. I would play it at someone's house. Someone would have it at their house. And you were like, oh, that's cool. Like, it's fun. It was like you would do it for a couple seconds and you're like, alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, I mean, I don't know if you're trying to imply that you're better than this. Well that's why I framed it that way. I used to volunteer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I mean now, can you imagine them there now with the VR and you're like, I don't know if you know what old people are, but it's, we learned earlier. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, so I remember we did it, we would go to nursing home, and uh, for ours, for a senior.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, go to the one, uh, right across from the Hermitage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Steakhouse, right across from the Herman's, but the Herman's Steakhouse, there's a nursing home right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember we, I remember going downstairs to talk to the old people in there and the door was like a locked, like you're walking into a bank, like vault, like it was a big,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would start walking and some of the older people knew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you would see them get up and start walking to try to time out with us. So they have to be, you know, we're like, all right, 10 minutes left. You see like someone get up and start heading to the door because that's how long it takes them to get to the door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you would do it and you'd have to like, just get out like you're trying to keep a dog back. Like you're just like, sorry. They're trying to escape? I'm trying to get out. They're called runners. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might be trying it again, but I, I, I just, the idea of it of just going to get to go hang out with people your age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Grant, I thought it was a huge, huge game. I mean, they just, yeah, they just did whatever. It's still going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many are there? There's tons. All these there's tons of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I played that one. I didn't know that. It's crazy. I played it and it's the campaign mode. So I love the campaign modes. Like I would buy the new Call of Duty and play the campaign mode. I think I just did the last one. I just always enjoyed that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and I would never like, when they would, some of them they would do like old, you'd go like old timey, you know, like you'd be like in, uh, Nazi Germany or something or World War II or one and all this and like those I didn't like love.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this, any sniper one was the best. And in that one, I played that where you go in, I mean, they ask you before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would just still, I would shoot, cause if they see you not shooting, then they turn on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you kind of have to shoot, but I would just kind of, I think I would shoot like around, I would shoot around people and I just never really shot like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like a Grand Theft Auto open world? Open world, yea. See, open world was the, I want...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna be like- Oh, I love open world. Huh? What does that mean? It's, you can do whatever you want. Grand Theft Auto was, was it maybe the first open world? Was it? I don't mean to jump into- I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, you can go anywhere, you can do anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I remember, uh, so Soderik loves Red Dead. I think, I believe it's Red Dead. He's big into it. Soderik.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, as comedian, he's gonna be wanting to know, he had an HBO special, uh, and one of my best friends, he did...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Soder plays NCAA, football still plays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is uh, he loves Red Dead. He still plays in cellular football and he's a coach and dude, Soders, uh, starts joining these other teams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so you can recruit, you know, you can do all that stuff and dude, he is in and he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's on, I mean, it's been forever, but he, he went to Vanderbilt and he goes, he called me and he goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And then you're, I'm on the tour and, uh, so I'm going through the tour. I'm playing it and you got to make these, you know, sometimes you don't make cuts, uh, especially the hard level where you're playing. It is super hard to play it. I got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I played on the easier level, I was like a plus 15 handicap, which would be


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would be five times greater than Tiger Woods was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ever. Not, I don't know, five times, but he was like, he'd be so much, Tiger Woods would be a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] About how good this person would actually be in golf cause it's a video game. And then I started playing on the harder level and dropped to now I'm like a plus six handicap, which is now I'm like a regular golf pro. Like you're just like a, like if you were, if I was a professional golfer, like that's kind of the best ones are at that level, but it was crazy that much of a drop off with just how hard it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did Angry Birds some, uh, Farm, what was the other one? Farmville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my, my mom, my aunt, my sister, my grandmother, like I think they all played that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't attack Tetris, and then, I mean, they're, why would they attack it? That's almost, you could go, who wrote that? Time Magazine. You could almost, that was the moment, like, media got real mean. I bet it is. Why would you say, why would you write an article about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would you write that mean of a thing? Why don't you say that about Tetris?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does Tetris, this game changing, people are seeing blocks in a grocery store, like a bunch of loo, turns people into maniacs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Farmville, you're going to go after and one of the worst inventions in a decade. It's a, I don't even know what it is. It's a dumb game. That's crazy. Right? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who is, who are looking these up? I'll research it. Who's looking this stuff up? It's gotta be us. It can't be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can't, no one's going through, you can't ask these kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, if I'm supposed to take everything as a broad kind of like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever see that show? Uh, no. I watched a little bit. Aaron Sorkin? I know what you're talking about. Who made the West Wing? Jeff Daniels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder around that time was when they started just attacking instead of being right in the under, under, you know, Tetris is this amazing thing. Everything's amazing. And now it all becomes an attack and being like, it's any, and then it started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did Dane Cook's fall happen? When did people turn on Dane Cook? Why don't you figure this math out? When did Dane Cook, when did people turn on Dane Cook? Dane Cook was the first one that people turned. He's the greatest comedian. He was very funny and he got too popular. And then they all just started saying, this guy's, he stinks. And they all started making fun of him. Family guy made fun of him. Everybody made fun of him. No reason. No reason except he got too popular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody loved him and then they, then they, and they didn't just, I don't know, go, not go to his shows. They actively attacked him. They actively tried to keep going after him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where a guy like you that robs people in Red Dedemption and a guy like me that shoots up in the air, cause I'm, I'm before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, are you building a world or something? Yeah. And you just, is that it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Uh, let's be quiet. Think about it for a little bit. Let's quiet down, you know. Uh, yeah, I don't, I, I would never play, uh, I would never


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think about Sin City a lot. Like I'd want to play that again. Like you, you know, you create like another world and it's kind of fun. I just think about playing it. I don't think I ever will though. It's still fun, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there a class where I can maybe make some friends? And they go, is there? It's one of our main things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like a, I'm gonna talk to these guys for a long time. Kind of class, you know. And get credit for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mario Brothers is the only one that holds up for me that's kind of fun to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've gone, like, I always think someone's like, I bought, Soto takes stuff on the road. He'd always be like, I bought, I got these games, you got these old Atari games. Like, I can't, after you see what's out, you can't go back to something like Zelda. You're like, oh, get out of here, dude. Zelda was a huge game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Legends of Zelda? I mentioned it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're at one where he was at, you're at 150. You're, yeaah, you're still- I bought it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When do you ever, but if you have diamond hands, when do they ever, does it end? For me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. Not the, not the world record numbers. Well, at the time. There you go. He's a guy, you know, I watched a guy this week, deadlift world record. What was it? I don't know. Uh, I didn't look, I didn't count the plates, but it's, they, someone told me it was a world record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What are they, what are they, I don't know, is it like, is it Call of Duty or is it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many people are playing at a time? Is it like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's not like a, so in that League of Legends that you watch is 10 to 10 best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's, so when it, the League of Legends starts, it's, the whole world's playing. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's premature. Premature. Chur. Tuer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like saying ideal, you know? Did you say ideal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I know, but don't people say ideal or idea? Like they say it- Idea. Idea. Idea. I have an idea. Like it's like that kind of thing. Uh, that's what matures to me. Feel like it's like that kind of, you're like, all right, dude, just say idea. But you might just say like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, no, it's not a funny thing. It's, uh, my Ryan Malone buddy I grew up with. He, uh, he says for, how do you say like on a golf course? It's a... Par four. Par four. He says four pars. He says this is a four par or a three par or a five par.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet I don't think he does. I think you've corrected him. I know, but he goes, but he still, he still says it like that. And I think he says, I've heard someone else say it like that. And I feel like it's an old way to say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he'll choose the older way that no one does. He'll just say it that way. And that's like, so mature would be like, no one says it like that. I'm not saying you are. Yeah, I'm not sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, that is great. That's what shows you, that's how much money the, like that's so crazy how much money these things have. 20 to 30 million dollar contract that you're like, I just give them money, doesn't matter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so much, that's so much money. And they just like, ah, it doesn't. Ah, way good, dude. You know, way good, man. You know, and it's just, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thing, thing wears one pound on your head. You're like, oh, your neck muscles getting tired there, buddy. Uh, I mean, you're trying to make a group that is not, is the most non-active group stand up. Yeah. You're going to be, you're going to meet with some, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Resentment. Is that the, that's probably not the right word. Is it? Not resentment. That's not what I mean. Maybe that word worked out. There's going to be some resistance. Resistance. That's what I wanted. Both worked. Yea, they both do work. Yea, sometimes you do that, you know? Sometimes it's like when you hit a bad golf shot, but you still hold the finish and act like that's what you wanted. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I almost started a golf podcast. It's on this. It airs during this time and it's just me. With my mother-in-law.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With yes, with your mother-in-law. And that knows, uh, uh, what's her name? The gun round. Rat Facts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't do it. Yea, an alien. Trying to drink a cup of coffee and an alien dressed as a cow shows up. Where you gonna see that, Aaron? It's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I always say with VR, it's the, it's, it's, it's the craziest thing I've ever, I feel like I've ever seen. Gasping? I gasped. It was, that was my gasp. It is mind blowing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When it's your, when you first time and you go do it, you think you're going to know what it is and then it's not. It's, it's just, even in the waiting room of the lobby is you just, you're looking around and you're in a room. Uh, we have, uh, we have, uh, this game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plank, you walk on a plank, it's 50-50 if people can't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He couldn't do it. My wife, she just sat down on the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he rode a fake elevator. You're on carpet. You're standing on a carpet. People are touching you because you're not in this game and they can't walk out on this plank. Uh, Giannis, when he was here, I had him do it. He walked out then just turned and took off running right into the couch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just hit the couch and flew like kind of over it. Cause he got too nervous walking on this plank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's also kid games, like my daughter plays it, Harper would, I remember watching her, you gotta watch them. Cause I mean, I'd watch, like I'm watching, there's this game where it's job simulator. It's usually just pretend like you're working at jobs. It's very,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like kind of, I mean it's still, it's still as an adult, it's very cool to do because it's crazy, but like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that, so that is like, if it gets to Bluetooth, that will be the next. And if it's like, I would say to me, if it becomes a full on helmet, would be great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like a real, like, you know, cause it's kind of like weird. So if it's, if it becomes a full on helmet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That you can easily put on and then have it, uh, be like that. And what I've talked about is like, they're going to, you're going to end up, I think eventually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it would be, you would have VR rooms. People would have a room that could be just all pads. It's padded so you can't hurt yourself and you can really like, and you're just in it and you just know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you're at in the games are gonna get so realistic. I mean, if you watch Ready Player One.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, I mean, they're, they're running on, or they do that, you're running on a treadmill. You're tied in and you're running on a treadmill and you know, and all that stuff. But I mean, you can get to that. VR is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's another, it's another world, man. It's, I mean, you obviously feel like you're that, but it's pretty wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a great golf game on, uh, uh, the phone, but you can only play with like really, really good wifi. And it's, uh, you actually are hitting and it's a picture of the course. So it's, you're just hitting on a real picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] WGT or something like that. They make you try, they have to, you have to buy all this stuff for it. That's, that's the, the thing with gaming that's so frustrating to me is the buying the stuff. Fortnite, free, and gets more money than anybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just know like you're going to go buy a shirt for your guy. You're going to buy the skins. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even weapons, right? Like it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so crazy. You're buying, uh, you know what I mean? Like if it's weapons, I understand. You're not, you're buying something you don't need. Is there anybody that's the best that looks like, that plays free and has no skins and no nothing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's, that's the crazy, you know, cause I mean, eventually you're like, call of duty, you're like, why I gotta pay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 60 bucks for this. And then you're like, Fortnite is, you know, they're just giving it to me. So then, you know, one of that hurts called duty sales.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause then they just go, you know, I don't want to, I'm not going to buy this game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is there going to be any more campaign modes? Are campaign modes going away?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was Doom, were they ranked? Was Doom one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the, uh, Contra? Remember that game Contra? Is that a game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, Contra was a huge game. Uh, it was, uh, yeaah. I don't know, when did it come out? Yeaah, in the top one, 1987. Contra was awesome. What was that on? Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you don't remember this? This was a huge game. You would do jump and do flips and you'd, I think you'd shoot fire. Yeah, Contra was the big one. Look how many they've made. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I could see, you know, you know, people get into, yeah, the contra.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This game was great. It was a, it was a huge, it was awesome. This was the up, up, left, uh, look up that. I think this game was up, up, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start. Look at that code. You know that code at all? That makes sense. Up, up, left, up, up, left, right. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ask, look up first cheat code. It might be the first cheat code. What was it? Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, select, start. It was, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, it's that, yeah, it's, it's, it's what's the most famous cheat code? And that, I think that might be it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah, your friends that are like, my kids are playing that and you're like, yeah, right when you having kids, well, you know, still.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I do remember the, the others, the last I can come back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is rivals that first video game ever made. If you had the choice of either one, I would maybe choose the one made in the fifties. Like you would go, at least there's someone else. That's again, if you're listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was made by someone's dad. There it goes. That brings back memories. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Video games could be fun. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And another thing, everyone thinks that you're checking these emails for some reason. So everyone's emailing saying, Nakes, your special is so awesome. They're just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I try to reply to them all, but sometimes you're just going to get great story. Thanks for sharing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would he? Does he mistaken you for me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, no, I didn't think I was a heel. I thought I was a pretty nice guy, but his wrestling move is the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He says it's called folk etymology. I didn't put that in there because I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found that a lot of stand-up comedians majored in philosophy in college. And there's even a class, philosophy of comedy, because they say comedy and philosophy are the two professions where the goal is to find the central truths in what it is to be human.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you just, uh, well maybe, but you just wanted to take a class just to have some


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew nothing about philosophy, uh, it means love of wisdom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it means. There's, uh, I, I knew, I knew the big philosopher. I didn't know anything about him. I heard of him. Aristotle, which you've quoted on here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, this says there's four branches of philosophy. Is that, do you know that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, exology, exeology, which means ethics. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fundamental nature of existence in reality. Oh wait, yeah. Knowledge and belief. Yeah. Sorry, knowledge and belief.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I think so. Okay, so who's the most fun- Plato? Is that the most famous philosopher? Aristotle, probably.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's a good question, because Plato asks, you can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An hour of play. So he's like, you can learn more about a guy on the golf course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then hanging out with him for days. Is that right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like other, science is advanced, so researchers are doing different types of science than they did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 500 years ago. But isn't philosophy, aren't they debating the same stuff today?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In terms we would understand, is it like when the goal falls on the half inch line and someone jumps off sides and they say half a distance to go. Yea, they keep going half the distance. You're like, there's nowhere else to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, okay. Well, back to Play-Doh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys buy into the theory of his, you can learn more about a person. Probably not. Go ahead. Playing, then. Do you know about people in the golf course that you wouldn't learn in other ways? Probably right and wrong, fairness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We shared on here a couple of weeks ago, our philosophy on life is kind of just not to be noticed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Can we all say that? And golf is the ultimate place where you and I know we're not going to be great. We just don't want to be so bad that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. So Aristotle and Plato are kind of known as the fathers of Western philosophy. Aristotle, another golf thing here. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act, but a habit. So I think that as practice, practice, practice, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did, uh, I wonder how they found each other, these smart guys, you know, like, you know, Socrates over. Were they just in the same area? Three towns over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, does you think Aristotle felt bad that he had no pupils, that we even were, like, they were just, they were rolling. Well, he had Alexander the Great. I had Alexander the Great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, St. Thomas Aquinas, Aaron sent me these notes. Widely considered the most important Christian thinker of all time. I would say Jesus, but Aaron feels like this guy is. Okay. No, about Jesus. Wow. Okay, Aaron, if that's what you think. Uh, he developed the five proofs of the existence of God. What are those?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've always felt like the kid argument holds up of the people who argue the big bang. Well, then who created that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think therefore I am. I think therefore I am. Which means... what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. I want to ask you about a couple of these famous quotes. God is dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I looked this up. It didn't literally mean God has died. He meant humankind, civilization, we've kind of killed the concept of God. Is that right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He also said, uh, what does it kill you makes you stronger, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he, and he made that up. What doesn't make you stronger, which means anything in life you go through with struggles just makes you a stronger person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You told me a philosophy one time, I think it's a philosophy, you can tell me, when you were doing the, uh, having claustrophobia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're, we're getting on a plane and then you said you could start thinking about tight spaces and then your mind kept leading you to the whole world is a tight space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, your jokes are quotes. You've had some wise. You have had some wise ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I mean, to get off topic here, but your joke about peanut allergies, there's so many comedians that have had jokes, making fun of kids with peanut allergies. It's an easy target, but you wisely took it the other direction. And I think that's a good way to look at it in comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that just means if you want to lose a hundred pounds, you got to start with one pound, right? Just get going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It ain't how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. Yogi Berra.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rocky Balboa. You guys both jumped on that though. I thought I was going to make y'all think it was Aristotle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go confidently in the direction of your dreams live the life you imagined.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Let's see, uh, you know what the happiest animal in the world is? It's a goldfish. It's got a 10 second memory. Be a goldfish. Wow. We don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll do one more. Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. Michael Scott. Yeah, that's a great question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, I'm gonna wrap it up with a couple philosophical questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, here's one. If freedom is simply being able to do what you want, are animals freer than humans?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is it now, say it again? If freedom is simply being able to do what you want, are animals freer than humans?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would the world be a better place or a worse place if everyone looked the same?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't personalize it as much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, pink ones all look the same, right? Yeaah. And they, don't they mate for life?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like throughout history a lot of the problems we've had is because people look different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whether you think you can, what? Or you think you can't, either way you're gonna be right. It's basically saying you gotta have confidence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want to come from Confucius? Yeah. Our greatest glory is not never falling, but in rising every time we fall. That's kind of like the Rocky Balboa. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got one more that Aaron submitted. Oh wow. Uh, this is from a manual. First time caller, long time listener. Emanuel Kant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, if everyone in the world did exactly what you did, what kind of world would that be? Would it be a desirable world to live in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It should be. What's the answer, by the way? It was. What do you mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't, I can't see my, I can't see my boy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, he doesn't open the door. You're trying to get like a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's up everybody? Welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate, Brian Bates, Aaron Weber. Thank you to Viori for sponsoring this episode of the Nate Land podcast. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More on that later. Uh, welcome folks! Hello folks! I said that almost accidentally. Like, I forget.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I have something to do, I kind of forget. Uh, we are pre-recording this episode, uh, cause I will be, uh, in California at the One Night Only tour. Already just happened, so hope you were there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so, uh, yeah, just so you know that we are pre-recording it. We actually still have some comments though. Uh, breakfast went through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just grab, you know, some ones that didn't, they weren't timely. Yeah. Just critical. Timeless ones. Picked a big one. Opened the gate with a big one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doctor, uh, one comment too, I got, someone said I wore my watch backwards cause of this, this, the dial is on this side. That, that was, that was like one of those like Facebook things that you see. It's so you don't hit the Siri button when you bend your wrist. And I was hitting it a lot. So you, you wear, you put the dial back here and he never touches it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you can just change the screen. Now your sleeves going to touch it. Uh, it's not enough of a problem, but I mean, hitting it, especially when I golf, if I wore this, but any other time, it just always hits Siri.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Siri, Siri just pops up, man. All the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like with Siri you either don't do it or that's all you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's how someone talks to it. They either, I don't ever ask Siri anything. I don't either. But anybody else that does, my wife talks to Siri quite a bit, uh, our voice texting, I get, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Audio text? I get that a bit. David Spade. A lot of audio text. The first time I got one from him, I was like, oh, I guess I'm listening to this text. I don't mind it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not as bad as you think. It's like just getting, saying it and it's, you know, it doesn't take as much time and you just do it. I actually don't mind it as much as I thought I would, but at first I was like, what are we doing? What are we doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fantastic podcast. I love listening to you banjo and Aaron at the beginning of every operation day before I come perform complex spinal surgery. I mean, he is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you be, what are you listening to? Nate Land podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that? Are you the main guy or is there other guy? That's what they, didn't they ask him or you're just the guy that's in here now and there's another guy. He's like, no, no, I'm the main. Oh yeah. When's the real doctor coming out? Oh, that's great. Wow. I'm Dr. Seftar Khan. Hello folks. Hello folks. He yells it into your open back. Hello folks. I perform complex spinal surgery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes me laugh and puts me into a relaxed frame of mind before I start the day operating on sick patients.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Once during an especially complicated surgery when the room was very tense and we were under extreme stress, I just yelled, penguin! To everyone's surprise. I proceeded to tell the OR team the story and had them play the clip on the OR monitors and within minutes everyone began chuckling. The room became noticeably less tense and I'm grateful to report that patient did very, very well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks again for the unbelievable work you guys are doing. Anytime you come up to Columbus in the future, I'd love to host you in the shoe on the field for an OSU Big Ten football game. Wow. I tell you what, a guy that's doing that kind of surgery, he's got tickets on the field.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, that's, that's a guy you want in your life. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's unbelievable. You know, we just did the episode you just watched about, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clutch performances, that's a clutch performance right there. Doing something like that, man. The amount of pressure that takes to just be, you know, you gotta do hours and hours of them. You wanna be someone's first guy. You think they ever say that? Right before you go under, they go, you're my first guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've done this before. I remember I told, I signed an autograph once and I told the person, I go, this is the first autograph I've ever signed. And uh, so I'd imagine that he does that too. This is the first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's like, what is that? And then you're just gone. Yeah, that's awesome though. Sore. Sogorb.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope it's his name. Oh man. Sore. Get in here. You have to say the last name or you just go sore. And he goes here. Every teacher. I don't think you need to be any more specific. Sore. Uh, he just sits there and the teacher's like, uh, which one? Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't lost a single piece of work ever since. That's gotta be frustrating to, I mean, everybody knows not saving something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the time, I've, when I've written out shows like, show William a hat, Nate Burgetti show, from the failed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, uh, but yeah, you types of that. I mean, it's a whole, you're just in the groove of like doing it. And then it just goes away. And you're like, and then the next time is never as good. You're like, that's the gist of it. And you're like, it's not that good. You know, I, I lost it. Miriam Gregory. I've been a fan of the podcast since day one. Is that, you think that's right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks for the comment. I feel like you can picture a Sore. You can picture him in your head. I feel like I've never, I don't know what they look like, but I think I could pick him. Oh right. If you said there's 100 people standing in the crowd, one of them is named Sore, I'd be like, I feel pretty good, I can figure out who he is. If you lined up Dr. Conn, Sore Secor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Soray, Soray Sigorb. That actually is a beautiful name now. And I want to name my next daughter that I don't, we're not having another daughter. Soray Bargetse? Yeah, Soray Bargetse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been a fan of the podcast since day one. I just wanna say thank you for everything you've taught me. Since hearing all of your bombing stories and insults, I've been a lot better at taking myself less seriously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I recently had the chance to sing on TV for the first time and I've never been more confident. I felt like it'd be okay to look stupid and it would be a good story until after, but it went great. So thank you. Congratulations, Nate, Erin, and worried whistle. I love you all. We need to hear her. We need to get a clip of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. See it on TV? I'd love to see that. Uh, what is she singing? For TV? I don't know. It's crazy. Uh, Jonathan Redd. That's a normal one. Is that more up your alley?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They will end the podcast. They have been talking about it since episode one or two, and I'm sure they thought Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would have done it by now. Love the show. It's the best part of my week. Goodbye, folks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't know why, but it can never can. All we know is two boxes go in and no boxes come out. We think he's littering as well. Uh, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna do it. That's gonna be a special one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gotta, we just, we gotta find the right time. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we film it and then we filmed it and then we put it out as it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had Krispy Kreme this past week. Uh, I have it a lot. I'm starting to feel it now though. I can feel like my blood's getting thicker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like you just, like I eat so bad, you're like, I feel like my blood's not moving as good as it should be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I don't think I should feel that. It didn't stop me, but I remember going, I gotta stop this. This is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My arm feels weird. Uh, Grant Weldon. I teach fifth graders and I have to switch classes because the teacher rotates now instead of students rotating. Oh wow. So this teaches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Students stay in the room and the teachers move. Yeah. Is that cause of COVID? Uh, when I go into the class, I enter saying, hello folks. And they say, hello, Mr. Weldon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so sweet and they don't know why I do it, but I love it every time. That's cool. That's cool, man. Good for you. Good for you. That's so, so they're just switching, moving around, almost spreading COVID around, trying to give it to all the kids. They go, one teacher has it. We don't tell them which one and they see if they can guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mike Pugh. Hello folks. When my wife and I married in 1978, there was a still law on the books in Michigan that the clerk had to ask, are you an idiot?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thinking we were Barghetti level comedians, we both said, I'm not, but this one is. While pointing our fingers at each other. Of course, the clerk did not crack a smile. I can only assume she had heard that one before. Keep up the great work. Also, we love to see you guys live. We just bought our son and his wife a ticket to the LA drive-in show. Mike Pugh will be at the drive-in show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was at the drive. Oh, he was. Oh, he was at the drive because we're recording this. Hope you enjoyed it because we left early. Uh, it's, uh, that is, are you an idiot? It's not a, I'm not against that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I asked both of y'all before we did this podcast, are y'all idiots?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, cause I am. And I don't need more than me. Uh, that's not a, you know, not a, not a, just ask the person you're about to marry. Hey, just heads up real quick. Are you an idiot by any chance?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, publicly acceptable. Yeah. Nick Hurka.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey guys, speaking of what would you do moments, I have a Starbucks related story and I was wondering, what'd you do in my place? I was in line at a Starbucks and the lady in front of me was rifling


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was so confidently picking it up and putting it in her purse that I didn't know what to do so I just didn't say anything and let her keep it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, Ron reminded me of something you guys would talk about. Love the podcast. Thanks for all of it. We need to get some better stuff to talk about. He's like, this is right up their alley. This is, I mean, he goes, this would be one of the top episodes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do like talking about this stuff though, and I would let her have it. You would? Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be the, it'd matter the situation. Have you seen this happen? You nodded like you've seen this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, when she says, oh gosh, sorry, and starts picking up all the change, I would...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If once she, if she said something, if she didn't say anything, I would've just picked it up. But if she said something like that, I would've probably just been like, just let her have it. If it gets too, too many people start paying attention, I mean this is a big commotion, so then people start looking, I probably would've done what he did and just been like, it's uh, you know, it's over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will, I, I a lot of times think about what would happen. Like if I say it's mine, and that she disagrees.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now in an argument over change on the floor. Right. And so, do I want to be in that argument?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, that wasn't on me. Yeah, well you helped her. Uh, but she dropped the purse. He dropped the coin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if Jay comes to town, you know, I mean, Jay could probably stay with us. And if he stayed with us, I'd have him on the podcast. I would tell him, you know, it's like, hey, we're trying to be clean. If he's not, I would just beep stuff out. Uh, is honestly what I would do. But I mean, Big Jay's done TV. Big Jay's, it's close though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But Big J is so funny, we're talking about random things. Uh, but there's something that's even harder to keep guys like that clean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is when they talk, you know, especially cause the bonfire, which is a him and soda, so good. And they, but they're, and they're just talking. So talking in like this is where it's hard to control. I always think if you're trying to stop cursing, or if you, if you say you're, you say you, a lot of people in regular life could curse too, they feel they curse too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In just regular life, it's start weaning it out in some regular conversations. Just think I'm going to go to this house and I'm not going to curse. And that way you can learn to hold it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's how you practice it. And so, you know, but yeah, I would have Jay on, obviously. I mean, we'd be thrilled. Get Laura on, you know, uh, get rid of, you know who. Hello, welcome to Nate Land. This is big Jay Okerson, Laura Barghese.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's Jay? Who's Laura? Both offensive. Uh, Ben Kissam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi guys, question for an aspiring comic in Denver. I haven't done stand-up since March. I was about a year in at the time, starting to find my voice on stage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cases arising here again, I just heard from a public official, they don't really anticipate the city being open again until next June. If you were faced with this as a newer comic, how would you handle it? Would you pursue something else like a podcast or YouTube videos or should I just move to the South where coronavirus isn't real in hopes of getting on stage sooner?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a year in, here's what I, well honestly, my brutal opinion, you're not finding your voice. Uh, that's just my honesty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Being a year in, you could think you're finding some voice, but I promise you're not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, it's going to change and then you're going to be in five years, be like, that was insane. But I think it's good to thank you for your voice. It's good to go through all this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, during this time, it's tough. Uh, you could start a podcast. You could do some YouTube stuff. There's other different ways you could try to be creative. That's definitely not a bad thing to go do. You can try to go to different places and move. Uh, you got a great scene in Denver though. Honestly, I'd probably wait it out unless you want it to move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, just go down and try to stay somewhere if you wanna go try to get up. But I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you got a great scene in Denver, man. Denver's a, Denver's a hot spot to be for comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think anybody's getting up. So I don't think you're missing anything. I mean, we're doing some, they're doing like some social distance shows at places, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're, you're competing also with so many people that have been doing it longer and no one's getting on stage. So your competition is, you know, guys that I've done it for 17 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You will be trying to get on the same show I'm probably trying to get on. We're all trying to get on these shows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I, I, I don't know if I, I don't know if I'd make a big move. I, I think it's not bad to do, you know, I know guys are doing Zoom shows or make some videos, try to do some stuff creative, right stuff. It stinks, dude. This is just a terrible time. Uh, so I wouldn't do anything that's going to be hard to walk back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go visit the city if you, uh, if you want to, but that, that's the only thing. I wouldn't make any sudden, sudden big moves because of that, but good luck to you and don't give up on it. Don't quit. This is, this is one of the times that it's, you're going to think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, this would be a perfect excuse so you can tell everybody, I tried it. I just didn't hold out. Everybody's having to hold out. So you hold out and just keep writing, keep trying to come up with stuff. And then when you're ready, just hit the ground running and, uh, never stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Hans, hello folks! I've been playing the YouTube version of the show in the background on our living room TV the past few weeks. My wife doesn't really pay much attention, but she catches the highlights because she loves Nate and hears me laughing all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't look much alike, but you can tell just, you can just tell he's Nate's dad by the way he acts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't explain air insulation, so he's difficult. He's officially just your neighbor who's quarantined and has nothing else to do but drop by and talk on the podcast. I don't know how long I can keep this joke going, but I'm literally dying every time I start the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I would bet good money you guys could read this comment on the show and say my full name and she still wouldn't catch on. Please give it a shot and let's see how long I can make my wife think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Braden is Nate's dad. Love the show. Highlight my week. John Hans!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see if she heard that one. Hello folks, John Hans here. That sounds like a good sports reporter name. John Hans. John Hans. Hello folks, John Hans here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Viori is an investment in your happiness for our listeners. They are offering 20% off your first purchase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Orders over $75 and free returns. Go to Viori.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. I am, I am wearing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeffrey's pullover is the one I'm wearing. It's actually very, very comfortable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm working out. Obviously you guys are seeing the progress, the progression of me being jacked. Uh, but I need some winter stuff to work out, but I got this one is just, this is like a good sweater and wear it on stage. It's nice. Very comfortable. You got, you have that on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's the, that's the key. Yeah. Go get it. Something easy to order online. Right. That's awesome. And this fit, I got a large, and that's what I usually wear in uh, sweaters and stuff. Shirt underneath the shirt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Loaded up. We're Fiore all over. Got a good neck. Fiore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like a good, I like a good tight neck. I like a good tight neck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also we'd like to thank our new sponsor, Better Help. That's Better H-E-L-P.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] BetterHelp is the largest online counseling platform worldwide. Professionals, licensed and vetted counselors that you can trust. BetterHelp makes professional counseling available anytime, anywhere through a computer, tablet, or smartphone. You get these therapists, uh, if you need to talk to therapists, it's all online now anyway because of COVID. I don't think many are doing in person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go talk to a therapist. Uh, I'm thinking I want to talk to a therapist. I think it's a good thing. You hear so much about it. I used to not like it, to be honest. I'm always kind of, I can feel weary about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do, I don't think it's a bad thing, and I think it's actually a good thing to, like, you know, you gotta be able to talk about stuff. What if I want to complain about them too? Usually I do it to their face, but what if I want to do it behind their back, you know, more privately? It's not self-help, it's, I mean, it's just professional counseling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can send a message to your counselor at any time. You can start communicating in under 24 hours. So if you want to, if you're listening to this now and say you're depressed, stress,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you got a bunch of anxiety because the world's falling apart. Relationships, grief, sleeping.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can talk to someone from the moment you hear this to 24 hours. You can go sit there and talk to them. It's more affordable than traditional.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Offline counseling and financial aid is available, which is a huge thing because I know that's a big problem. It's just people worry about how expensive it is. And if you feel like you need to talk to someone, I'm all for that. You know, we've had, we've had comments where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want you to start living a happier life today. As a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's BetterHelpHELP.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, we're doing it. So this is the, that was a good, we got good comments. I know people probably talk about the last week's show, but, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you get? I'm not even a homerun hitter. One's one thing. Where do you get two from? Uh, it's a great, one of my favorite Seinfeld moments is that. It's so funny. Is Kramer sitting in there with that kid?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I get that some orange juice? Because after the first hit he drinks this. By the way, let it be known, Kramer's a stranger to this kid. And this kid has let his, they let.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weather is changing. Temperatures are changing. It's cold here today in Nashville. Last week was good. This week's cold. Uh, we have no front door. Uh, it's, if you, I explained that last week, if you listen to it, why our front door is gone. That is still very funny to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just for someone to knock on your door and then ask for the door is one of the wildest things I've ever been asked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you told me what you want me to take, I could have almost said anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just don't take the door, obviously, cause we need the door. And that's what they came for. Uh, so weather's changing and we wanted to do an episode on weather.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys wanna see if we can, you know, can these guys talk about weather for an hour and a half? I don't know. Maybe. Uh, I think so. We talk about a lot of dumb stuff. Right. For a long time. That's the point of all this. That's why we like coming up with these weird things, cause it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes it, you know, you need stuff to go off of. You just need, we need. Man, we've got a weatherman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, watching George's home videos. I'm just trying to change you. What are you like eight? Uh, you were, were they, were they on TV or they were just, they were on TV, the college TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they did some stand up on a TV shows, TV taping, did it at Zany's. All real done taping cameras. I mean, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How would I watch it? What would you tell people? Go to channel 4.5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you gotta have, uh. That's the butt. That's a good channel 4.5. You're like, that seems weird. Never heard of that being called a channel, but. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, that's, yeah, it's not too many hoops. So basically- That's locally though, 1.5. Get your- So if you're in Nashville, and you want to watch them on the Circle network, uh, get rid of your cable. Here's the first thing I need you to do. Yeah. You gotta have over the- Throw your direct TV out in the yard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Switch to TV to see real scrambly. You're like, well, that's not good. Yeah. Hang on. Go to, you know, we're four, you know, channel four and channel five is? I need you to go right in the middle of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so it's like, so there's people that just know how to get to this channel. There's like an audience that watches this channel because it's the Grand Ole Opry channel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has anybody, anybody text you that like saw it, like randomly?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had one, uh, a thing in Boston on Nesson, New England sports network. And they did a comedy show. We just did jokes about, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, uh, from the movie in the eighties. Yeah, kid and play. Kid and play. And one's a comedian. I didn't know that. Yeah. I think the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one with the big high top? Yeah, the lighter skinned one. Are you allowed to say that? I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Blackman County. Uh, it's the, yeaah. So I don't, yeaah, who's, is he, that's Kit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so he wasn't even there, I don't know what I'm talking about. He, uh, he's a comedian. And he went on, I had to follow him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had a rough go at it. Let me tell you that. I don't think he's much of a comedian. And so he was pretty bad. Like he was just like jumping around. Like he was...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like they told him like, do stuff on sports and he's like, every joke's kind of just got sports attached to it a little bit, you know? I was flying the other day, they had a sports game on TV. Anyway, can you believe they're selling the peanuts and the thing? We were watching the sports, everybody had a playoffs run. Can you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is up with these flight attendants, you know? This girl comes about, peanuts, and then some guys watch a football towards the front. And then, like that's the only way it's gonna.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's one way easy, including sports. Ah, because the other day, ah, my wife's cheating on me. She, I went to, we were watching baseball. It doesn't matter. And the other day I go home and did my, my kid who doesn't like sports, but he just keeps saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, you can, I do love, cause I do it too, I always love the thing that, that comics do is if, if you got a seasonal joke, how to get it back around. And, uh, like, cause you can do it, like, I mean, it's in peak form when you're, you got some great Christmas joke and you're like, Christmas season is coming. You have about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably November to February that you could say Christmas just happened or Christmas season's coming. Where it's the joke that seems


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've told it on this. I've, I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll tell, if I've told it, I'm sorry. My favorite of that kind of moment was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, when I first, when I was first starting, I started, I moved to Chicago first. And, uh, when I would come home,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would then do, I never did comedy before here, like I said, but then when I came back, I would be the guy that came back from Chicago, I'm doing comedy in Chicago. And so we'd go to the bar car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which was, they had this open mic. And I'd always, every time I came back, I would go up and do those shows. So this one guy, sometimes I would, one time I came, when I came back in between Chicago and New York, it might've been during that time, but I lived, I kind of just lived here for four months to save money to move to New York.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so I'm back here. We're doing the bar card. This guy has a ponytail. He just did, we're open mic'ers. So no one, everybody only really has maybe three to five minutes of material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so we're all doing our jokes and he would just do jokes on ponytails. That's all he did. He had a ponytail. I don't remember the jokes, but he's like talking about having a ponytail, what it's like having a ponytail. Full five minutes of just ponytail material. So the next week he shows up, his ponytail is gone. He has no ponytail. He cut it off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so we're like, what are you gonna do? All you've ever done is ponytail stuff. And he was like offended that we asked. He goes, I have other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we go, okay. So they brought him up. He opens it. First joke he does is not about the ponytail. It's about nothing. It bombs hard. And then he goes, so I used to have a ponytail and then just does all this ponytail stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other one I, did I ever talk about this? I don't even remember, uh, the happy birthday to Ru. Like, did I ever say that story?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's probably offensive. I don't know. It's not my joke. But when I was in New York, this comic...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He used to run, we would run at Improv, a Broadway comedy club now. We, Dustin Chafin, who's about to have a, actually, uh, has a Zoom, uh, I don't know, has a Zoom special out that he's putting out actually now. Uh, cause this is coming out next week and I think it's coming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pre-Sales, uh, was just last Friday, and so it's coming out, uh, now. Zoom Comedy with Dustin Chafin.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to Zia. So, uh, it's not that, but yeaah, it's Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, uh, I'll promote it to you next week, but he, uh, I started with him, look, I'm the main first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're trying to find it online if you're looking, but I'll promote it next week, but he's a comic that I started with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, uh, is putting out a Zoom, a Zoom comedy of 2020. It's a different way. Cause it's the way we have to do it now. So anyway, so we'd run a show at midnight. This, and it was this, uh, edgy, it was uncensored show, which I always had to do and was never, I never needed to be censored. So he, this other guy would run a show uptown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he would always just come and like, if his show wasn't like doing good, he'd be like, hey, he'd like call me and I was just running the show. I was helping Dustin run the show. And I remember he'd call me and be like, hey, uh, can I bring, we have like only three people show up for the show tonight. I'm going to bring them down to your show. And then can I get on stage? So he'd use, he'd like barter with me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe a couple times you'd be like, okay. But we were like, Dustin's show was like, I mean, it was like a packed, it'd be midnight, dude. And we would be sold out in this upstairs room. That was probably my favorite room in New York. It was just this box and it was just, I mean, when it was packed, dude, you would murder in there. It was so awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we'd all just be there. These are the stuff that I miss about New York. It's just, you'd be out there until two in the morning and it's just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's doing these shows, just so much fun. Bunch of comics hanging out. Everybody kind of ends their night there after they do shows. And so...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He would always call me and be like, and we'd start being sold out. He's like, I got two people and I'm going to bring them down. Can I get up? And you're like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, I'm like, dude, we're sold out. I don't need, he's just trying to get stage time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember he always had to ride the train down with these people. These are just audience members that he's like, just come ride with me, I'll take you to another show. And they're, you know, it's almost like the quarter thing falling where you're just kind of like, alright, I guess I'm riding with this guy. And then you're just on the way down. So anyway, so he had this joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's probably insulting. I don't, you know, it's, it's, it's a very hacky joke. So, but he would say, uh, if you went and had your birthday party at a Chinese restaurant, how would they, you know, they sing it happy birthday to Ru, happy birthday to Ru. Like that's the joke that they don't say, they say ours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he would start it and he'd be like, all right, who's got a birthday in here? One night we were not, there's not that many people here. And he goes, all right, who's got a birthday in here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he goes, nobody has a birthday in here. Nobody. And no one's raising their hand. And he goes, you, you have a birthday. He goes, my birthday was two weeks ago. He goes, what about you? He's like, my birthday is like seven months from now. He's like, nobody has a, and I mean, it's almost.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like, everybody's like looking like, just do the joke, man. Like, and he's like, nobody has, there's some, you know, some guy finally just goes, I mean, my cousin's birthday is next week. He's like, all right. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's how they would sing it. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear customer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then everybody's like, okay. And then he's like, all right, good night everybody. And he leaves. And so I just remember, I remember thinking why I don't want to ever do a joke where I have to have someone in the crowd go with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he doesn't at all. Hey, you've been trying to dress short and here's how they sing happy birthday to you. I mean, you could do anything, but he just doesn't. You're like, I mean, the joke's already just disgustingly hack. Like it's not a good joke, but it's like the idea that he has to bring someone in on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then someone's finally like, I mean, dude, people could just tell like, someone just say it's your birthday. This guy's not leaving and he's trying to leave. There's a Jay, big speaking to Jay, Jay had a story, Angel, Angel Sal, Salazar, Salazar. He was in, uh, Scarface.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a comedian and he would always do that where he'd have some girl about, uh, Angel Salazar. And he would have, uh, he would always talk to someone and be like, Hey, big guy. Hey, big guy. He talked to, like, so he pointed you and he's like, Hey, big guy. You'd be like, Hey, what's up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's like, Oh, you mean me? He goes, Hey, big guy. And he's like, I mean, I'm not that big of a guy. He was like my size. He's like, I'm not that big of a guy. I just, I thought you'd be, when you say big guy, it's usually someone bigger. And, but Angel never talks to him. He just goes, Hey, big guy. And he finally has to go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. He goes, you got a girlfriend? He's like, I don't. He goes, I don't have a girlfriend right now. He goes, you got a girlfriend? He goes, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have a girlfriend, right? He goes, hey big guy, you got a girlfriend? He goes like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ten thousand times. And he's like a robot that just doesn't, he just can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sadly, he, he had, if you can watch the clip of that, you don't have to show the clip, I don't want to show it, but if anybody wants to look it up, they can. Uh, but he, he like has a, he has major drug problems and had just lost it on stage. And so his thing, right, was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Always like, hello, I am Moviefone. And I mean, this dude made a career, I mean, it is, he's very talented, obviously he can do a bunch of stuff, but would just tour around, sell out these places for a long time, made tons of money, but had major drug problems. And he was at Punchline Sacramento. I was there two, oh, the week after him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, he, uh, was on stage in his video of it and he's just so whacked out on just so much stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the, the opener has to go back up there and he keeps going, hello. I am, no, they want to hear it. Nah, they ain't everybody. He's like, you gotta go, man. You know, you don't know what's good. He's like, hold on. He just keeps doing the same movie phone joke over and over. That was the sad one. But it's like crazy to be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just in this routine that, that's what I'm always scared of being. I'mma just be up there in Starbucks and I went into iced coffee with milk and I'm just like in a corner just going, iced coffee, whipped cream, whipped cream, whipped cream, whipped cream. I just keep saying it over and over in some corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not a comic on earth that doesn't think, uh, that doesn't think, the crowd's bad, I'll get em. I'll get em. I mean, that's every comic, you go, hey, this crowd's like terrible, man. And you go, I mean, I'm sure they're terrible for y'all, but I'll get em.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then usually you go, oh no, they're terrible. And then you go off and go, I know what you're thinking, but I promise they're terrible. And then you go, I got them. And then usually one person gets them and is like, I thought they were great. I thought they were great. Uh, all right. Weather.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, okay. Well, we, we wanted to get into it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a big fan, weather's fun, four seasons, Daniel Tosh joke, that's a very funny one. I liked all seasons, because we skipped the bad ones. That's why I live in a place that skips the bad ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? I would do it in a heartbeat. If anybody does it, and they do it at a high level, professional level in listening, you let me know. And I'll come do it with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that guy could be pretty fun. If that guy is into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if there's any certification for any of this. Oh, there is. Oh, there is. So you have to go through the thing. Well, I mean, there's nobody going to stop you. I used to watch a show. I watched a movie about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, they were filming this, what was the show? Is it Storm Chasers? Twister? No. Yea, yea. It was a documentary. Uh, it's- I thought that was real.