[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She would laugh at the end of things, like if I was, if it was like the, I forget what jokes is, you know, like I want to say the light joke was, you know, the part where at the end where it's like, I can't, you know, like you can't just go downstairs and just be like, uh, hey, you know, ask about the lights or I got to act like, no, I got my light. It would be when I'm acting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, the part that's made up where I'm, I've did the scenario and then I'm like trying to pretend to be this guy. And, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She like, just to hear her laugh at those, it was pretty, it was pretty spe- I was like, and it was, I like had to pee, and I was like, I just, and I just sat there, I was like, I'll just, gotta hold it, cause it was like, you know, a moment that you're like, I can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like some of your kids, it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So let's let this happen. And so I just sat there and let it, you know, let it have and laughed. And then, uh, and we made it maybe 20 minutes and then she goes, all right, that's good. And then she stopped it. Like it was like, she did it as long as she could. And then she's like, that's enough. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome. Yeah, I caught some real laughs. And I was like, oh, you know, that was super fun. And also a lot of people brought up the, on there, it says foul language.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do it some. I don't do it every time. I should do it. We had it today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. We did have it today, and I do like, I like the taste a lot, I mean. I like the taste, it's anything healthy, everybody's got it, like yeaah, it's not a candy bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's how I would look at stuff is like you think, well, it's this and you gotta go, no, no, no, it's not that. But it's like, it ends up, and then once you do it and use it, then you, you're like, oh yeah, I do, I actually, this is a good taste and I drink it and it's like, you know, and I know it feels like we had it this morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, have you had those juice things or the ginger? Like those things are brutal. Oh yeah. You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like my face at all, but especially not from the side. Side? That's crazy. I don't know if you've ever seen your side. Go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, straight on is, is, I prefer straight on. Side is tough. I mean, we've been, I've been sitting this side, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good name. That is a good name. Richard Gatling. Gatling Gunn. Yea, that sounds like, in Kramer he's like, Todd Galack. Yea, Todd Gack. Todd Gack. Yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dusty is correct in that the moon does spin. The moon makes one complete rotation during the same time it takes to orbit the earth. This is what tidally locked means. Other forms of tidally locked objects are high earth orbit satellites.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It does. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I don't think they want to know what's down there. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One complete rotation during the time time it takes to orbit Earth. So it's roughly a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the, the, the moon, so would we not see all sides of the moon? We never see the, that's the dark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we're rotating with it. Yeah. So it's like, it's rotating. Yeah. Okay. So we're just, it's like, so if we could like, if we could fake it out for a second, if we could just be, if the earth could just be like, hold on, hold on, hold on. And the moon's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, so I mean the backs, that's probably the same. Unless people are back there having a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One day he goes, one day he goes, one day I swear something was off and I saw like a glimpse, like a crack of a door. I go, what was it? And then they go, nothing, nothing, nothing. And they, and they sped the moon back up to kind of be like, oh, that almost got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what Apollo 13 was. Yeah, quit coming here. I bet they keep going to the moon though. If you go to the moon, you're just kind of like, yeah, there's not much there. You know, you get there and you're like, which is crazy to say, but as an astronaut, you gotta go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're going a fourth time and you're like, and you, but you are going to the moon so you gotta, you can't complain. Right. Cause everybody's like, dude, that's crazy. You're the only person that's ever been to the moon four times. You go, but I know, I know, I know it's awesome. It's an honor. It's an honor. I'm not saying it's not an honor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello world comments. Welcome back to Hello World. Speaking of world, the moon. Speaking of the world. Speaking of the world, the moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Julian, what? I just, I see the name coming up. Yeah, Julian Turnwich. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The names, they don't feel like they match, so Julian and Turnwitched. That feels like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, someone, someone got a name in there. Like I bet if you made the other turnwitched, it's going to be much different names. It's not like you're saying it past tense. Turnwitched. Turnwitched way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turn which way? You know what I mean? I don't, I don't know the name, but it's like the, it seems like they're all, you know, it's like all Tom turn, which it's all Tom. And then like, the mom was like, got one Julian in and that, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the special finally dropped here in Oz. Australia. Australia. And it's as good as I hoped. I had to watch it twice straight up because the first time I thought I wonder if I see Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this special was the best yet in my opinion. Grammys, here we come. Well, thank you. Julian, that means the world. Uh, do we have the moment of him? Did y'all get it? It's not on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, launched. But yea, February 17th was, it was, and I don't know if it was, and I still got some people saying it wasn't here or there, but I mean, it should be everywhere as far as what is today. Uh, it should be everywhere. So, uh, it's, yea, it should be out. So it's like, we're seeing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Uh, yeah, it was fun. I loved, uh, I, I do, man, I loved shooting it in that place. It was just, I liked seeing the crowd and it just, it looked, you know, seeing, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, it was just very fun to get to, like, you look at the special and you're like, they did a really great job with it. Uh, all that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, there's someone we had that had a loud laugh, and we had to take, I had to, and you hear it the whole, you hear it only once I think now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but when I listened to it the first time, it's like the whole show. And you're like, well, that, that laugh's gotta go. Like it's too distracting. And that's a tough, like, you know, that guy's having the most fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we had to take it out. We had to, like, it was like, you had to be like, that has to come down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Making me hard, and that's, it's a tough one to say. Yeah. Yeah. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Gina Willis, did anyone notice that Nate's special Hello World on Prime is rated 13 plus for foul language. I laughed so much when I saw that, having already seen it once and knowing that the only foul language was his bit on the word sucks. So that's so great. I love the podcast guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah, I don't know why. I think we even tried to say, let's, can we get that off? It's kinda funny. It's very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's just like whatever reason, I don't know, but I mean, there's, I'd be curious to be like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Foul language. I think they just assume and don't even check into it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you wanna go, I guarantee there's kids shows, or there's like Disney shows, whatever that say sucks or something that they probably don't have foul language on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why did you decide to do your new special on the round? Louis CK recently said on a podcast that the view is better for the audience because it's like everyone has a center seat. Yeah, I agree. I think the round is a great way to watch something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I, Louis shot a special there, so did, uh, Carl and Seven Dirty Words was shot there too. I did like doing that. I liked shooting, I liked, he shot a Seven Dirty Words special to then shoot a special there with no dirty words. Like there was something that I thought was kind of, that's kind of fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But they shot theirs there, uh, and I watched both and took from both. Uh, I liked showing the crowd. That was a big part of it. That's one of my favorite places ever to perform is the Celebrity Theater in that round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I liked, uh, I liked, and I wanted to be able to show the crowd. Especially after like the last one being, so mask and all this stuff. I wanted to show a crowd having fun. So I wanted, when you, when people were watching it at home, I wanted to show people having fun and laughing during the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it made it, you know, it was like, it made it be like, yeah, yeah, we're having a good, you're showing people have a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and that's, that was a big reason I wanted to do it. And I mean, I love that you can see the crowd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, I think it's, you know, it's fun. It's like every, you end up, there's other reasons to watch, you know, people watched it to find you and like people watched it like, you know, it's just makes it, you know, a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Emily Crawford. Uh, where did Nate get his jacket from for his special? I've been looking for a bomber jacket and that one is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I know, uh, the jacket was a special edition and it was gifted to us. It is by Paige. It is the Robinson Satin Bomber, Bomber, Bomber, Bomber jacket. Bomber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the guy's like, what is he saying? You know, and then we get, and then the bomb hits. So it would be, you know, you shoot stuff off to make the bomb chase. I think we get hit just because the guy's the thing goes, the bomb just got sent. And so the guy's just supposed to, and he goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? The bomb, because he's saying bomb. Bomb. He goes, you're not supposed to say the other B.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but the, well the bombs, and then we get blown up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, so there, it was, the jacket is by Paige. And, uh, it was a special edition. I didn't know that. I don't get told this, but yeah, there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, and Amber Linahan, yeaah, that's why, yeaah, uh, my, the stylist Amber Linahan, uh, she styles me. Or for the road, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that's like a fancy fun thing, but it's like you gotta, it's uh, you know it's hard to like find stuff that's like cool, like you want it to look good, I wanted it to like, I try to wear stuff that's like, you could wear normally. Like I'm not trying to wear something that's uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That someone's like, I can never wear that. You ever gonna do a special in a jumpsuit? Like chapelle or something like that? Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's cra- I mean, it's- it's- these people are gone. Like, it's like, uh, the fashion world is in a- in a hole, it's like, yeah. It's become...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, but that's made up. That's just a made up thing that's like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, we're past anything. You're like, no one's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's the point of that? Like it's, you know, it's like, it's art. Yeah. It's, it's just, you're like a painting. I guess you can wear a painting and you get a walk around the paint. So maybe, all right, maybe I'm on board of it now. I'm talking myself into it, but it's no, but it's like, that's like gone. So like when we tried to, when I wear stuff, it's like, I'm trying to wear stuff that like, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's at least something that's like a cool, like it's, it's something that you could wear, that someone could wear, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, but you're wearing a, you're doing a special, so it needs to look, you know, you want it to look good, but it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope everything I wear is you're like, oh yeah, you know, you, you could buy your husband that and be like, our dude could be like, I could wear that. But yeah, you're doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. No, no, that's, that's, that's, I think the level that he's at is, I, I don't, I'm telling you these, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta, you, there's a slippery slope of, that's been like, look at Sandler. Sandler has kept it where he's, he's norm, like he has his, he has dudes with him that have been with him for 25 years or 30 years and they're just like regular dudes and like, you gotta have some,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reality in your life. Yeah, and if you and I think with like that Sam Smith, like you could, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could, you can be where you don't have any reality. Like, you know, like, yeah, he dresses like very down as the Sandler kind of thing. And that's the very, you know. I mean, he's, he's gone on a letterman like that. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's just, he always just dress, like that's, he, he's always done that and it works for him. Yeah. And it's not like, I like to dress up, like I like to wear, like I have, like I wear, uh, like when I'm on stage, it's like, I like wearing something that's like nice and feels good and cool. And like, I do, you, you can have that, but you gotta have, you just gotta have, it can't go, I don't know. It's like there. Well, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're, yeah, what I mean, yeah, what Sam, like, but it's like the idea, like, you know, you see the NBA players, like they come and wear in that fashion, like they're into fashion now. They go to these fashion shows and all this stuff. That fashion world is, uh, it's a slippery slope. Like it's getting, you know, like it just feels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's it's own thing and you're like, yeah, and I don't understand it, but it gets, there's an arrogance to, he had to tuck his shirt in on that one. They wouldn't let him in until he took his shirt in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that he noticed the janitor's closet. That was like a dumb idea I thought at the beginning was I just thought it would be funny to just come out of a janitor's closet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was literally just trying to be stupid and silly. Some people might not have even noticed it. I thought it was just funny to, like, I wanted some, like, I allowed it to be funny to be like, what I'm about to walk to, just to have it starred in a janitor's closet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what I walked through when I first came out of Jenner's closet, it's, uh, two guys that own the improv, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Joel and, uh, Matt, Matt. Yeah. And, uh, they, and so I just saw them, they, they, they, they, they owned, uh, uh, improv in, uh, Phoenix, Tempe, uh, Stand Up Live. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so, uh, those guys are awesome. Uh, and so it's them and then it's my, uh, managers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, then Brian Dorfen on Zany's, uh, my agents and then, uh, the lady that, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I turned the corner and it's like, chase my son that everybody's crazy, my son.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, who's with me, like he's, uh, now he's been around the road, uh, and Eric, the barber trainer, uh, then my sister and Brie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, who they did all the candy, then Ricky or bus driver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then our buddy Mash, who's just been, uh, the black guy, the only black, if you, the black dude, uh, that's Mash. Mash is from Tennessee and, uh, I've known him forever through Travis, my tour manager, but like, and Mash comes out with us, like if we're in New York, California or whatever, he pops out and comes out and he's super fun. He was there for the taping anyway. And then, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Justin, and then, uh, I believe it's Vedar, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vecchione. Vecchione and Dustin Chafin and Julian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then Nick, and then when I go upstairs, it's, uh, Travis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My tour manager who we grew up together, Tony, uh, our promoter who does everything great, Lauren Harper. And then that's the, that's the, I think that's everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I forget something? Your brother. Oh yes. And then my brother hands me the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Microphone. Yeah, that's funny. You forgot him just like you do in the middle. Well, you just forget, yeah, middle brother. Uh, yeah, then Derek hands me the microphone and, uh, and then when I come back downstairs and everybody's there, it's like, I was, that's like, uh, you know, to have, to have Harper, Laura, Abigail, my sister, uh, and then, uh, Derek, his wife, uh, Maya, uh, Derek's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, middle child, uh, kind of, he's got four kids. Bob Ripple Pants. Bob Ripple Pants. That's where they, they, yeah, the Bob Ripple Pants comes from Maya and Harper and all that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then everybody else. Yeah, I just wanted to show, like I liked showing the, like the, the kind of crew, the people who were out with, like, uh, you know, it's like, it's just like, we're all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, all of us hang out dude, like it's just hanging out, like, my family, I wanted to show Derrick, like that's why I like Derrick handing that, like showing, I talk about Abigail and Derrick, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this special, so it's like I wanted to be able to show them and you know, Abigail's been doing great on the road. Like a lot of people email, like Abigail's responding to a lot of these emails along with you, like she's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it is my sister. She's the youngest sister. She has a tattoo. She got a new tattoo that I do not care for. Uh, it's a bigger one on her arm. I don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just don't, you know, but she did it cause she's young and an idiot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My parents went along with it. My dad, like, almost helped kind of design. I mean, I was furious about this whole situation. Uh, but they did it. And, uh, but yeah, I wanted to show we're all, yeah, you know, just show that it's like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's all, this is all, here's what it is. Uh, all of us hanging out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I can tell you who does ride it. Uh, they've all rode it and they love it. Uh, we have a electric e-bike and, uh, it is awesome. If you think e-bike is only for a bike ride, think again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This, the all new XP expedition by electric is the cargo e-bike designed to carry groceries, gear or even a passenger. So you can do more and enjoy fresh air too. Uh, the e-bike is awesome, man. I mean, I can't, I can't talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It makes riding around a town, I mean, you're taking some of it, you can still exercise on it. You're taking some of the exercise away, but it's cause you can also just ride it like a motorcycle, but that's, it's almost makes you go, well, I'll just go exercise. My joy is to sit on this bike and just ride it. Totally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, I mean man, it's fun. The new Expedition cargo e-bike, which is designed with cargo in mind, it can carry up to 450 pounds for any gear you have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can go 150 miles on a single charge with the double battery set up. It can also carry passengers including the kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quick store trips, riding around the neighborhood, uh, they cost way less than the competition with quality, uh, feature packed models financed as low as $133 per month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can lower your gas cost. Uh, electric e-bikes are foldable and ship-free, fully assembled, over 250,000 dedicated riders on the road so far. Check out!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The all new Expedition Cargo eBike from Electric. Visit electricebikes.com to learn more about the Expedition Cargo eBike and all of the other sweet models Electric has to offer. That's L-E-C-T-R-I-C-Ebikes.com. It's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a person answering. Yeah, you can, I mean, like really, like Rodney, when it's a lecture like that, you can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could make a good sized journey with it. Oh yeaah. Because it's not easy to ride a bike. Like it's easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wife and I just watched Nate's news special. As soon as I heard Nate's jokes, joke about turtles being cold blooded, I immediately assumed the other comedian he was with was Aaron. It sounded like a real Notre Dame like comment to make. Please confirm or out this other Notre Dame educated comedian. No, it was not me. It was not Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it was Jeremiah Watkins. Ah, yeaah. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeremiah is a very, very nice comedian. Uh, and very funny and like, uh, he didn't say it, but we were at a wedding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were, uh, we were like, went on like a hike during, in the woods and like there was a bunch of comics and it was, and the day was like, you could get in the, I remember getting that water that day, but it was very cold. Like the way, like it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I want to say it was November, so the water's already cold, but like, we were upstate New York, but it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like 60 or something that day where it's like you could jump in the water, but it'd be, it was like freezing. And, uh, we, so the water is cold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm walking near the day and then we see the turtle and then, uh, that's when I, and I said, I was like, man, I bet that turtle, cause why we walked by the turtle when in the water? I was like, I bet it was cold. Exactly what I said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he goes, well, cold blooded, so it probably just feels like bath water. And he said it like that and that was it. And then we didn't talk about it. And then I just made it a joke. Uh, so, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's how the real ju- the real ju- I say like, went on a hike, the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We weren't on a crazy hike. We were in the woods though. Like, uh, I wasn't at like a hospital. Like that stuff is all that. It's just like, uh, I did not walk on a paved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. I've mentioned it one other time, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On stage somewhere, but I, uh, yeah, I don't, uh, yeah, I don't know. I need to tell them. That's fine. Yeah, that's where it came from. Uh, Troy Phelan, Thailand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe you missed the easiest callback in comedy history. At the end, when you were


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the thing with callbacks, like, it's it's own, I already have two front door stuff. Callbacks are, uh, I, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like him and then there's, there's gotta be a place for him. That's also a pretty far away callback. It's like too far. And ending a show on a callback is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That callback needs to, I gotta make sure that you remember the callback if you did. But hey, it's not, I don't want it to be the sliding glass door. The sliding glass door joke, I was already closing on this door stuff and the sliding glass door thing happened later, but I wouldn't, like the guys, and then I'm saying those guys is getting a front door and then I disagree that the joke would work. You don't want to force a callback either. Yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I disagree that he, the joke is, the joke is not about the door really. It's about me, uh, that's the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sliding glass door, the joke is kind of, the joke is the sliding glass door. Because it's the front door, that's the funniest, that's the centerpiece of the joke. The joke at the end, with the front door, is not about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not about the door. It's about me sleeping late, me not. It's like all of that stuff. So the door and then her and then Laura getting this and I don't know what's happening. The door is not really the point of it. So if I brought in the sliding glass door, it just wouldn't make it. It's yeah, like it could get a laugh, but it wouldn't make sense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like the golf, the golfing joke, the golfing story is not about golf. It's about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But at the end it's not. And so it would be, if I brought in that, it would be... Did you ever think about doing all the door stuff together and then you got like a 20 minute door chunk?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, sometimes you, yeaah, sometimes you can't think, like I'm talking about doors a lot, but the funny is that one was, that's how much that wasn't about the door in my head, that I never even, you never even considered, never even considered it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it was, I never even thought, oh, I'm talking a lot about doors. That, cause that, the joke at the end is, is, I'm, it's, I'm not, the door has nothing to do with it. The door is like, even though the door is the same, but it's, it's, I'm not even thinking about it. It could have been, uh,


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[Assistant] Yeah, I just would tell people and then maybe I'll, I want to look at it and see, but it would be interesting to like the moment, if you want to see the closing joke of the moment it happened, it happened on this podcast. Cause it, that it happened and we came up and I came up here and did a podcast. We showed up that morning.


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[Assistant] I don't know if people care about that, but I, like, I thought it'd be interesting. For people that would care about that, you can literally see the second that joke is gonna happen. I kinda say it.


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[Assistant] You don't as a comic, you don't ever want to put that much pressure on it. You don't want to close the callback. If you close on a callback, I'm kind of closing on a callback right now. And.


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[Assistant] But it's not, it's not a callback as much as it's, it's not a callback, but it's a...


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[Assistant] Something else is gonna go right for it to. No, no, it's setting up something that when I set it up at the end, it's like, but that's what this is. It's like, so I set up.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. It was fresh on our minds. Yeaah. Cause it just happened. So we're gonna, I'm gonna, if you wanna hear the beginning of this, just, I'm making it easy. Can you, cause people could hear it.


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[Assistant] That's insane. Look at Aaron. That's, I don't know what's more good for you, buddy. That's crazy. Thanks. Uh, I've lost weight, Bates, the exact same. It's remarkable. You look like an old boat captain. Like, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's it. I wanted to, I haven't seen that either. That's so like, uh, yeah, I haven't seen it yet. And that is that the end of it? Is it a little bit more?


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[Assistant] I'm bombin' over here. Yeah. So two years ago, I mean, that's how long it takes to get a joke.


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[Assistant] So it's like I, it happens on this thing, you can almost see the, I mean, I don't know the exact moment I got that joke.


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[Assistant] I gotta close, I was closing on it. The joke was finished before then.


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[Assistant] Yes, she, uh, she might listen to this podcast, as I can find out. Uh, yeaah. Uh, but, yeah, but it's crazy that, uh, yeaah, it's, I don't know, it's fun.


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[Assistant] It's, I think it's fun. That's also like someone could not care. Most people could not care. But if you want to see where jokes- It is fun to see where the jokes come from.


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[Assistant] Ending on a, but I'm saying, but like that's, oh, that's what I was gonna say. Like, uh, that's kind of a callback what I end on.


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[Assistant] He doesn't, he's, he's taking too literal, the call, the callback is, I set up that I don't sleep, that I, uh, when you sleep late, you start, you're right, you're right when you're throwing your day. That's before any of this stuff, like I, you wake up at noon, if I ever meet you at noon, it's gonna be, I'm gonna come in pretty hot. That's the callback. So there is a callback, but I'm calling, I'm setting up that, to then when I tell the door story,


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[Assistant] It's like then I go, I've been awake for 45 seconds and I have to decide if I'm going to give this guy the most important partner. I'm setting that up in earlier in that.


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[Assistant] It does, it doesn't, but it's like, it makes it like whenever I start the, I like to cut the, I'm starting the, I'm setting the premise of who I am, of this idea. This, cause I go into that, and like we have bedtime, like it's like,


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[Assistant] Uh, I say that, you wake up in the middle of the day, I forget whatever joke I say after that. Maybe that's the start of something, I don't know. But I start the...


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[Assistant] This me here, well here's a real life scenario of where that wasn't helpful for me, that I sleep late in the day. So the action is the callback. The word.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it would be, yeah, it's, there's, there's times that a callback, I, sometimes I could not choose the callback.


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[Assistant] That's what I like. You get a laugh off not even doing the callback, and then I do another joke and now I get a double laugh. So I get a double laugh off the same thing. Cause the audience, I know you think, you think the callback, so you start laughing expecting me to say the callback.


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[Assistant] He goes, we still gotta make the crowd. He's, the crowd is, you do the joke. I get it going. I started, I pull. Yeah, I'm doing setup.


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[Assistant] It's too, yeah, everybody would be like, why would you not say beating a dead horse? Because you're telling me that I should have said it. So I don't need to do something. And I can also, I am beating a dead horse by talking about a dead horse for five minutes. The whole thing is about it. Like it doesn't need to be that literal. It doesn't need to be that literal. You know?


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[Assistant] I appreciate it Troy, I'm joking with you. We're giving you a hard time. Josh Capps. On January 30th, my family and I gathered around, gathered around my grandmother as she passed away. Good night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a sad day, but peaceful. It was the hardest at the end of the night, though, after hospice had come and gone, until we saw that Hello World has been released early.


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[Assistant] It absolutely brought joy from tears. Thank you. Too bad it wasn't a day early, of course, or my grandma could have seen it too. Just kidding, she hated clean comedy.


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[Assistant] Look at that Josh. Very funny. That's a good callback. That is good. See, that's a callback in these sets of, I don't know if it's really a callback, sets up, sets up the grandmother the whole time. That's a good joke. That's well written. That's a well written joke. Brings up lots of emotions in that joke, really. Yeah. That's beautiful. Building tension. Yeah. That's beautiful.


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[Assistant] And uh, that is the dream. A lot of folks came out, uh, and followed, uh, and were walking and I'm not talking to them. I'm not talking to them. I mean, yeah, uh, oh, teeing off, yeah.


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[Assistant] Good ball, Nate. Uh, so yeaah, they, they, they saw my dad and uncle, they would follow us, and if, uh, it was, it was awesome, uh, uh. Yeaah, look at Nate's back foot, huh? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] It does it as he sweeps. I lean back still though. I lean too far back. I need to get on my left foot more. But it's, uh, but I hit the ball great. I played really good at Pebble and then, uh, yeah, Derek got a caddy. They misspelled our B-A-R-A-G-A-T-Z. Barragazzi. Barragazzi. Barragazzi.


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[Assistant] Uh, very much Bargetti-like, uh, kind of our first entrance to everything. We get a little, but the whole experience was, I mean, it was a dream come true. And out of all the things that I've wanted to do, that was one of them. And, uh, Webb Simpson was great. Kevin Stroman's great. Larry Fitzgerald. I mean, everybody's obviously great. It was just.


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[Assistant] The most fun and, uh, Derek did great and, uh,


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[Assistant] It was, you know, uh, crazy. Guy had a heart attack in front of us. Wow. A caddy, right? A caddy, uh, you know.


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[Assistant] Right, and by the way, we had another lady fall down, bless her heart, like, you know, like, older people just dropping like flies, man, they're just falling. And then you got your dad out there and the whole time you're just like, where, I mean, every second you're like, where's, someone falls, you're like, damn!


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[Assistant] Uh, you're screaming for him. And then, uh, but we, uh,


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[Assistant] Like, a group in front of us, I mean, they were, and it was Bo Hostler and his group, and I know Bo, so we get done playing our whole way, get there, and Larry is like, alright, we gotta be patient here.


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[Assistant] And we're like, why? And then like, and, uh, Caddy, uh, went down and had a heart attack. They were giving him CPR in the, it was like the Daryl, or the Hamlin, Hamlin thing. They were giving him CPR in the fairway, just like,


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[Assistant] And they, they did it for like 25 minutes and then the ambulance kind of comes. They're giving CPR in the ambulance. Then what I heard was they got him going again. They got his heart going again. They stayed with him and, uh,


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[Assistant] You know, and I think he's from, I actually don't know past that, but he was doing better and, uh, so, but it was, yeah, it was the same way to stop for like an hour and like, uh, it was just crazy. And then you just go, all right, hit again.


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[Assistant] And then you're like, I mean, I just topped it immediately into the, I mean- What about his group? They-


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[Assistant] Well first we didn't know, I mean honestly people were thinking, did he die? Like it thought we, cause he did die, his heart stopped. So then it's like, well is he dead? And so...


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[Assistant] But then they like let us play, then you're like, I don't know if we should even be playing. Like it's like, uh, and the whole, like there are a lot of Christians on the golf course too. So it's like, you know, we all said a prayer, like there's a lot of prayer going on.


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[Assistant] Uh, and then, uh, but it's, then they tell us to hit and then so they, Amos comes again and then they're like, kind of like, well, we got to play like, you know, and so, uh,


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[Assistant] There, we hit, I'm not just top line. I mean, I, I'm like, four of the worst shots I hit after, cause you're just, it's like insane.


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[Assistant] I don't know how you're gonna play. Bo and them are like, gonna just get out of the tournament. Cause they're like, you know, he's walking up the hill and just, he's like 65. Uh, well he's not out of shape, not healthy, but someone said he's had heart pains for two weeks.


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[Assistant] And just didn't go get them checked, which is, I'm trying to do a whole joke about this, but it's like, yeah, older men, like go get your dumb heart checked. Your heart is literally dumb at this point.


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[Assistant] And he's walking and he just collapses. And then, uh, so he goes and, uh, they, Bo and them are like, well, we're not, we kind of played through them and they're not going to play. And then, uh, we got, we got word pretty immediate after that, like he was doing better and they were just going to quit. Cause it was like, they're in their group. They're with that guy.


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[Assistant] And, uh, they're like, they're just gonna stop playing. And then, uh,


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[Assistant] Then they got word that no, they got them going, you know, it's like that it was a positive thing. So then they came back and they were able to play. But at first it's like, they're like, I mean, they were, they were a mess. They were crying. Like, I mean, how could you not be?


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[Assistant] So, uh, but they ended up, you know, hopefully he's doing, hopefully he's doing good. I don't know what else, I thought I had some I was gonna say, but yeah, but overall, besides that, uh, had a great time.


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[Assistant] Uh, I think if The Rock wanted to get out there, they would maybe let The Rock do it. No matter what. But I don't know if The Rock would, but I don't know if The Rock would do it.


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[Assistant] Do that. Because I don't think most will do that. I think most would not. But I guarantee you if The Rock wanted to play, they'd absolutely let them play. Eric Rodgers by the way, he's not a 10 handicap, he's like a 2 handicap. And they gave him 10 strokes.


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[Assistant] Uh, golf to Wahlberg, uh, I'm Odie Richday, who's, uh, one's that knows, he's the one that knows Wahlberg. I've never met Wahlberg to that point. Wahlberg did not know me. Uh, and, but it was, Wahlberg is awesome. Another one like Sandler, he's, he's what you, it's great to meet these guys and go, I want to be you. I want to be what you guys are. And, uh.


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[Assistant] I love that and like, you know, he was, we played super fast, he was super cool, just talk, like talks to you like you just, we're all just like hanging out.


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[Assistant] You know, so you just feel like you just jump in his world and it's like, what's going on? How you doing? You know, and then we're just playing, you're in his world and he had to leave because he had to go do a movie. Uh, but it was great. That is just funny. The top comment is,


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[Assistant] Uh, his left. Yeaah. Yeaah. So that's who, uh, look at, uh, I'm blanking on his name now that I was with him, uh, that it's, uh, cause I'm on this spot. Uh, it's not him, but he's under Kyle.


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[Assistant] I don't know if he's a defender or he is, uh, Morgan Scali. Yeah, Morgan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, everybody loved Morgan. Morgan, uh, uh, cause he played football, uh, and he played, uh, uh,


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[Assistant] When did he play? He played when like Aaron Rodgers played.


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[Assistant] Oh, okay. Yeah, he has like his, he, I think he played...


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[Assistant] Maybe he sacked Aaron Rodgers or something, but he played the day Aaron Rodgers like started for Cal. Like it was like his first time starting. So I was next to him and he was awesome. Morgan Scali's great.


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[Assistant] Yeah, everything's great. Everybody's great. Everything. It's all like this. They met Dana White. That was the best. Dana White was, uh, uh, I mean, I'm such a big UFC fan.


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't know if you don't like him for whatever they'd say, but I'm just, he came to the show, he was talking about, he saw my joke about the, uh, the bus with the dad, don't call dad of the bus.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that was, he came, he just came to the show. I didn't know he was coming to the show. And, uh, so got to meet him. He was super nice. Uh, you know, obviously kind of brought up like, I don't think he drinks anymore because his wife was there like because of their Vincent and they had, uh, and so it was, they were, yeah, it was, yeah.


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[Assistant] That's right, that's right. Bring back to the everyday. You were on Seth Meyers for the first time. And Seth Meyers for the first time. So yeah, that was, uh, yeah, that was very funny. Seth Meyers is again, very nice. Everybody's very nice. I did not meet Tina Fey. Didn't even, I was hoping to like, kind of like be able to wave at her. Never even.


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[Assistant] Like she on the same episode as you? Yeah. Yeah. She was in the room next to us, but he was, it's a very cool way, but she came in and like did it, but it was, it was like, anytime I could kind of be where I could see her, she was always like either turned the wrong way or someone was talking to her, like never even made eye contact to wave. And, uh, I never really had a moment to, uh, so I would have liked to say hi to her.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I like it too. Uh. Like a VCR almost. I mean to me it is. You got VHS tapes in there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's, that comment's funny. That's what it's all about.


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[Assistant] I'm a big, I got friends that are the extreme of both sides that can be very dirty, very clean, very this, very that.


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[Assistant] You know, you go be you on all this stuff. And you're going to be you. You're going to be you. I'm going to be me. That's all you got to do. Your friends can be whatever they want to be. You be you and you be in this world, that world, whatever. If you are you, just be you. And that goes a long way.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, the whole thing was, I got Gayle King's phone number.


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[Assistant] Yeah, nah, I texted her a picture of my, yeah, yelled at by a clown cause she wanted the photo of that. She's like, text me that picture. And she just gave me her number.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, so. Yeah, they're all, uh, awesome.


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[Assistant] I'll be the best. I'll be in Tupelo, Mississippi. So, uh, I'm in a few other places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, Tupelo, Mississippi is, uh, Saturday, I think, and, uh, this week, but I'm in, I'm in a few, but. You're in Wichita Falls, Texas. Wichita Falls, Texas.


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[Assistant] All these cities I'll be in, they're great. I want to say Tupelo's the one that's got the most tickets left. It's a big, it's a big place, so. Is it the place, uh, we'll be in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a big place. It's a big place. And so, uh,


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[Assistant] You can check that out. And then, uh, Joe Zimmerman, we're shooting his special March 3rd, I believe in Asheville. So this first show might be sold out. Second show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Make sure you get tickets out if you want to come to, uh, Nate Land. If you want to be at the beginning of this Nate Land world that we're, where you're building, everything that you come to that, uh, whether I'm there or not there, uh, I promise you it helps lead to, uh, the, you know, the idea of what we want to do later is, uh,


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[Assistant] Is that, is, is to, is to make this world. And so I will be there. Joe's directing his special and, uh, we'll be taping it. So if you want to check that out in Nashville, uh, March, I want to say third that Friday, you can look at, look it up in, uh, in Asheville, North Carolina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, alright, well, I'm very happy to be back. Thank you guys for listening. Uh, the newcomers, uh, welcome here. We love having you. Uh, and, uh, we appreciate everything. I love you guys. Uh, and we will see you next week. All right. All right.


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[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Vargetse. And my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was curious, your dad, I mean, he's so great at close-up magic, so I was wondering how a giant arena that would translate, but I've gotten so many emails from people just saying he stole the show.


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[Assistant] Which means there's 4 to 4,500 people there that are smarter than you.


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[Assistant] Not too many years ago and we met up with Impractical Jokers afterwards and they had just done a show there and we went in there and looked at that arena.


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[Assistant] And we were like, this is unbelievable how big it is.


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[Assistant] Cause he's a bully. Cause he's a bully. I remember one night, hope, hope you don't mind me talking about this. We were, this is back when you were still drinking.


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[Assistant] But we were, you're looking at me like, oh boy, where's this going? But after the show was over, you never were a crazy drinker, but you said yourself that,


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[Assistant] It allows you to do so much more and do so many more things. And you said, we were driving by where the Indianapolis Pacers, Indiana Pacers play in Indianapolis. You said, you think I'll ever do arena like that someday? And I was like, I don't know, maybe. And you said something like, I just gotta get, I gotta get.


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[Assistant] That makes it sound like you had a problem, but you didn't.


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[Assistant] Whatever, get that under control. And, and then you did right after that. That was, I don't know, how many years ago was that?


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[Assistant] But you've been, had had a drink. It's been- 2019?


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[Assistant] February, maybe. So four years? Yeaah. Something like that. And now here we are, doing arenas.


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[Assistant] But I'm trying to spin it positive. You did overcome it and now you are selling out arenas.


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[Assistant] I can't get this thing lit. If I can walk. Yeah. I'm gonna go back to where we throw up.


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[Assistant] Where were y'all at? I was at the Grand Ole Opry Saturday night. Great. I mean, every time I'm there, I've just, it's such an honor to be there. Everyone's so nice. And I mean, that's 4,000 something people. So it's just amazing.


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[Assistant] Time is private. You go, everybody can do a private show. Secret show over here. Uh, so the Grand Ole Opry Saturday night, that was great. And then last night I was at Sunday night, I was at Stand Up Live in Huntsville, headlining there. A lot of folks came out. A lot of folks came, met a lot of folks and it was great. That's awesome, man.


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[Assistant] Of course everything's Seinfeld related for us, but you know how on Seinfeld when, uh, Kathy Griffin's character sends Jerry with some gift, and then even though she's about to save herself,


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[Assistant] She emailed me on Friday and said, uhm, could you wish Nate a happy belated birthday for me? I'm like, sure. So I'm like, great. Now I got to add this to the list of things. Then she sends me a picture on Saturday with you guys at the show or whatever. And I emailed her back and I said, why didn't you just tell him happy birthday yourself?


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[Assistant] She's like, Oh, I forgot. Yeah. I told him or something. Yeah. She told me. Yeah. It was very funny.


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[Assistant] You know who you can hook them up with? Who? Zock-Dock. Oh. Oh, look at that.


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[Assistant] Well, Jeff and Henry, they're probably gonna need a good doctor pretty soon.


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[Assistant] If you could be your ideal weight, but. Yes. No longer.


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[Assistant] Have any interest in food, but be healthy, but somehow just technology where you never want to eat again, you'll stay your ideal weight, you'll be healthy, but you'll never enjoy food again. Would you do it?


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[Assistant] It's like British gives it a little bit more authority. Yea, British sounds efficient. Authenticity. Oh, totally.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Your dad's a prankster. I bet April Fool's, did he do anything?


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[Assistant] He messed with your water once on stage, I remember. Yeah, what did he do? I think he just put his finger in it when he was out there before you and you didn't see it. And then later on, every time you drink, everybody in the crowd would be like, ahhh.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we got some people said they did that with pigs. Same thing. They would leave one number off. So you just keep looking for it.


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[Assistant] But this week, uh, I told her just to take a week off because we had a couple in the chamber, uh, talking about recycling and the Bible.


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[Assistant] Two things that Dusty doesn't believe in, but, uh, this year we're gonna do, uh, you know, it's Earth Day this month and it's Easter this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I guess my question is, do your neighbors complain when you kill a lamb in the front yard and paint its blood on the door post?


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's cool. And until when?


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[Assistant] I'll go along. Yeaah. Yeaah. That's good. Well, the Bible was the first book ever printed. We're starting with the Bible. Was that alright? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Uh, the printing press, the Gutenberg printing press, was one of the greatest inventions, I guess, of all time. The Bible was the first thing printed, so that allowed everyone, the masses, to be able to read the Bible and not just the Pope or the people that Aaron chose.


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[Assistant] They just change a word here or there. It's not like they leave out whole verses or chapters. Some of them do. Okay.


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[Assistant] Artifacts that are, you know, some people think are still out there. In Raiders of Lost Ark, he was looking for the Ark of the Covenant.


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[Assistant] And in the Bible it said when the Israelites had the Ark of the Covenant, they'd go into battle with it and they could wipe out anybody that they encountered. If someone touched it, which someone accidentally did because it was just to stable it, they died on the spot.


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[Assistant] And then Raiders of Lost Ark, when the Nazis got ahold of it, they wiped them all out. Indiana Jones is okay because he shut his eyes.


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[Assistant] So now, so there is real debate about where is the Ark of the Covenant, and there's a church in Ethiopia who claims to have it.


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[Assistant] And they won't let anyone see it. Uhm, there's one monk that guards it year round. He's the only person who can see it. And he dedicates his life to guarding this Ark of the Covenant. When he dies, someone replaces him. But, supposedly it's at a church in Ethiopia.


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[Assistant] I don't know, over years of years, years of it being stolen and passed down and things like that.


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[Assistant] You can't look at, yea, I think you may just look at the building. I mean, a lot of people obviously question whether...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's anything in there much less the actual Ark of the Covenant when no one's allowed in it to see it.


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[Assistant] You know. Yep, it's the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. And, uh, it's been there for a while, but.


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[Assistant] One guy guards it. So the other arc, the Noah's arc.


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[Assistant] Some people think they've, uh, know where it is. So in the Bible, it stopped at Mount Ararat, which is modern day Turkey.


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[Assistant] And there's some explorers who over the years have claimed to either gotten close to it or seen it and then the government comes in and stops them.


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[Assistant] So there's a guy, uh, Richard Carl Bright, he's a art seeker and explorer. He says there's a multinational government conspiracy to hide the truth about the Ark.


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[Assistant] In Turkey, Russia and the US all know where it sits, but they keep people out from getting it.


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[Assistant] And yeaah, he comes out mad cause he's like, they don't know what they have and they just store it, like you said, in some warehouse.


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[Assistant] Yeah, there's people who claim to have seen it. It's usually snow up on the mountain, but occasionally when the snow goes away, they'll see little bits and pieces of it. They'll have to fly over it. It'll have to do satellite images, but. Oh, like they can't get to it. Yeah. It's very hard to get to, I think.


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[Assistant] I don't know if the Turkish government makes it hard, but I think just the terrain. It's very remote, rural, snow covered. It'd be like...


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[Assistant] Maybe similar to hiking the Himalayas. I mean, you would think they would go figure it out.


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[Assistant] Uhm, well there, uh, there's also some gospels that did not make it in the Bible. There's four gospels, of course. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. There's the, uh, Gospel of Thomas.


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[Assistant] They go, damn Thomas, you're so damned. He goes, you'll see, you'll see. Yea, you'll see, give it some time. Yea. The Gospel of Mary Bagdalen?


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[Assistant] Uhm, Gospel of Judas. Even Judas had his own book.


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[Assistant] Might ask about recycling. Was there recycling in the Bible? Well, kinda. Uhm, uh, there was a garbage pit.


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[Assistant] Called Gehenna, and in Jesus' time even referenced it, and it was outside Jerusalem, and people took all their trash, and they burned it.


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[Assistant] And they kept the fire going around the clock to keep people's, they would take dead animals, dispose of bodies and that didn't have tombs and things like that and they would burn it.


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[Assistant] In these garbage pits, it was kind of referenced in comparison to hell, but, uh.


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[Assistant] So even in Jesus' time, they had some type of trash system.


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[Assistant] So to speak. I'm segueing now into, into, uh,


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[Assistant] Well that's not one, I don't think. Uh, scapegoat. Scapegoat. Oh yeaah. What does that mean? What does scapegoat mean?


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[Assistant] It's from Leviticus. A goat chosen as the scapegoat.


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[Assistant] And, uh, I don't know if they pushed off a cliff, but they killed it to kind of make it as a sacrifice.


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[Assistant] So back in biblical times, uhm, most people thought the earth was flat and that outer space didn't exist, but the Bible, uh, you know, there's some, some verses that makes you think they knew ahead of time that the earth was round and there's, there's space.


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[Assistant] Uh, in Isaiah, he talks about, uh, God and He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth. Oh, the circle, huh?


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[Assistant] And then, uh, for outer space, there's a verse where he says, He spreads out the northern skies over empty space. He suspends the earth over nothing.


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[Assistant] So the Bible's been, uh, used in court since the beginning of courts. 13th century English court made people swear on a Bible. And, uh, in the U.S. we say, so help me God. When you've been in England, they say, by Almighty God.


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[Assistant] But if you, some religions, Christian religions, don't believe in swearing, so you can say, I affirm instead of I swear. Oh, interesting. Or if you're atheist, you don't have to go.


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[Assistant] It didn't have to be. Same with sworn in oath of office. Most presidents or people sworn in do a Bible, family Bible.


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[Assistant] But I think there was a Muslim congressman that sworn in on a Quran. Right.


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[Assistant] Death and destruction and- Despair. Yeaah. I dunno.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Those are the four star players for Notre Dame, right?


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[Assistant] So the very first public waste, uh, was actually done, system was in Athens, Greece in 500 BC.


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[Assistant] They made everyone haul their garbage out at least a mile out of city limits.


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[Assistant] And by 320 BC, they were telling people, don't dump your garbage on the streets.


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[Assistant] Uh, so even in Jesus' time, they were telling people, pick up your trash, don't be littering Jesus.


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[Assistant] Piling up. The average person creates almost five pounds of trash per day. Well, I believe that. Five pounds.


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[Assistant] Does that include body waste too? I don't know. I don't think so.


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[Assistant] The big recycling push thing now is single use plastic bags. So it takes them a thousand years to decompose, they say.


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[Assistant] Uh, one single bag. And some states have already, eight states have already completely banned.


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[Assistant] Uh, single-use plastic bags. And then some companies are starting to do it. Like Walmart in three states have done it. Then you gotta, so then you gotta start using reusable bags that you can buy for 10 cents or 75 cents or whatever like that. But now they're starting to pile up.


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[Assistant] Cause a lot of people have it delivered to their home and then they got all these bags to their homes. Now they've got a hundred and something bags stuck in their house. So they got a new problem.


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[Assistant] You gotta recycle those? Yeah, eventually. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I mean, they're reusable. It's still a good thing, but it's, but now people got new bag problems piling up.


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[Assistant] I tried that in college. I ran out of gas one time, hit a styrofoam cup, put it in there. It did not work. I just saw it wilt away. Yeaah. In my hands.


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[Assistant] Engineers and such. Now Greenpeace did a study last year that showed only about 5% of plastic actually gets recycled.


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[Assistant] No, I think given to recycling, only 5% actually gets recycled. Whoa. They said there's seven types, different types of plastic. And if you look on a plastic bottle, most of them have that little symbol, which I think you said earlier, recycle reuse.


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[Assistant] It's like a little triangle. I don't know if you guys know what I'm talking about. Yes. Usually there's a number in that recycling symbol. It's one through seven.


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[Assistant] And if it's a one or a two, they said it usually can be recycled. Three through seven, it usually doesn't.


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[Assistant] Like plastic bottles I think are one or two, maybe that'll say what it is.


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[Assistant] Try it free for 30 days when you do a subscription to something and then you think, oh, I'll do it and I'll cancel. But then you never do. That's why you need rocket money. That's pretty good.


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[Assistant] Frocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. Over 80% of people have subscriptions they forgot about and chances are you're one of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that stars app, you just chose to watch one show. Oh, they're really picking on stars here, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, or that free gaming trial you never actually used.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rocket Money will quickly and easily find your subscription for you. Then any you don't want to pay anymore, just hit cancel and Rocket Money will cancel for you. It's that easy.


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[Assistant] Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash nate. That's rocketmoney.com slash nate. Rocketmoney.com slash nate.


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[Assistant] Well and sometimes for kids like Miss Rachel or Coco Melon or whatever, they'll put up an advertisement for a show that's kinda scary for a kid that'll be watching Coco Melon.


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[Assistant] I tried to advertise on here, our website. Nate said no.


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[Assistant] Dusty, you strike me as the kind of guy who knows the trash person. Well, we know you've gotten a fight with the trash guy, but even the dump, you probably know the lady who runs the dump.


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[Assistant] I tried to find where trash in the airport goes because you've asked that question before. I found one article, Seattle airport, talked about where the trash goes.


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[Assistant] It wasn't still clear where, I mean not crash, recycling, where it goes.


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[Assistant] It just goes somewhere else and then somewhere else and.


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[Assistant] Yeah, not much of it gets recycled. That's according to Greenpeace, and they would be the ones that would, I would think would get the bottom of some things. It just makes people feel good.


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[Assistant] Well, actually, uh, somebody should say that because next episode we have a comment for someone who's sent us an article about a slingshot. That's if you could send trash to outer space. So let's do it. Yeah. Time. Get some solutions around here. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you can go ahead and pull that up if you have it since you brought that up. Uh, there is a, it's called a spin. There it is right there.


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[Assistant] Uh, our friend Alex Valudo just moved to Nashville and he just put out a drive, you drive our special and in the special he gives out his phone number in the special, his real phone number.


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[Assistant] Oh, live on the air. Yeah. Okay. So there is no getting rid of that. I was going to say if there's a producer back there, they could just lie and say you're called number 10 when you're really three.


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[Assistant] What's like that, I'm having flashbacks to the Wilson County Livestock Association auction where they auctioned off not one, but two of my CDs.


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[Assistant] I mean, I've sat through the first one and they did it again.


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[Assistant] No where to hide. I mean, it's just an outdoor picnic pavilion. I had to squeeze in. I'd take a walk. Yeah, it was hard. Alright, let's end on that.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm openin' for Kevin Nealon at Zany's. Oh, that's fun. Oh. But I think that's tomorrow night, so this podcast is hard. That was last night. I just want people to know I'm out here workin'. Out here livin'.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I saw it, but... Many people write to God. Someone's answering.


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[Assistant] Yeah, Greg Kinnear. Greg Kinnear, yes. Dear God.


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[Assistant] He lives in a trailer park. It's hard not to undercut.


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[Assistant] I was also in Norway, and that's part of Europe, yeaah.


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[Assistant] So you barely, if you were a little bit younger, you'd be a Gen Z, right?


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[Assistant] Sometimes you can tell, like in football, when they're clearly just watching it from, not on TV, but from the upper deck, cause we'll see something, like you said, that they don't. And then they'll show the replay and then they notices it. And we were like, well, we saw it the first time.


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[Assistant] Well Dusty would say they're getting told what to do.


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[Assistant] I'd like to be a professional wrestling referee.


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[Assistant] Look at that. No one pays attention to you. You get distracted while their guys are going.


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[Assistant] Uh, I've done this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I've done black shows and, you know, and I always let it linger out cause it's always some rap song that's, and then I come out, you know.


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[Assistant] And they all laugh and I always like surprise, you know, whatever. And then eventually I'll do that. But I've worked with guys who their whole act is, you gotta, like you said, you gotta be on because they're going to tell you somewhere in the show, hit it DJ.


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[Assistant] You know, uh, before you do that, you gotta have some athletic greens.


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[Assistant] Did y'all have anything you wanted? I was in, uh, Bristol, Tennessee this weekend at Blue Ridge Comedy Club. Great shows, great crowds. On my way home, I stopped at a gas station and a woman said, uh, I know you, you're a comedian. And I said, yeah, I am. And, uh,


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[Assistant] She said, uh, I saw you do a show once. She said, are you still doing it?


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[Assistant] And I said, yeah, I'm actually home wait, home away home now. And I said, uh, what show did you see me do? And she said, it was with, uh, Henry Cho back in January. It was a month and a half.


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[Assistant] Oh man. That was so funny. Yeaah. So I was, uh,


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[Assistant] I was thinking about replay though when, I kinda remember when it first started in sports, like...


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[Assistant] Their moves are much slower this time, Byron, yeaah. On a roll. Uhm, but.


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[Assistant] Now I mean now there's a million angles in division three lacrosse game.


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[Assistant] Alright, maybe not Jefferson Pilot, something about, I'm talking about the one that was always like on channel 30, like locally, where the worst SEC game.


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[Assistant] Greg Aaron and I can go ahead and tell you, you have sleep apnea. We can tell by looking at you.


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[Assistant] That's fair, uhm, cause we talked about my friends who...


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[Assistant] Got into altercation with Tracy Lawrence in 1994 when they were teenagers. They are younger than I am. I only knew, I guess,


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[Assistant] I guess I knew two out of three guys, but they were, they were younger than I was, but. You still friends with them?


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean, I guess it's just kind of a, the Statler brothers are related.


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[Assistant] I mentioned, uh, a couple of weeks ago when you weren't here that Loretta Landon and Crystal Gale are sisters. Dusty did not know that. I didn't know that.


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[Assistant] So, that would have been 30. It might have been...


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[Assistant] What year did that song come out? I had this song, so it was before my time. It was Jody Messina. Somebody's going to, it was that song that Dusty was saying last week. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I just watched a documentary on The Undertaker, your dentist, and uh, he was talking about how all the other wrestlers, they can kind of be out of character when they're out in public, but he was such a


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[Assistant] In his prime, just that accepted, you know, prince and darkness or whatever.


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[Assistant] He had to wear the black. He had a kind of, he couldn't be smiling. He couldn't be doing like, you know, if he had pictures made with kids, the airport, he couldn't be smiling in it. He had to be that character kind of all the time, even though he's in Southwest in the middle seat, he has to be the undertaker.


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[Assistant] You think that or you think we're just dumber than the average people? No, I don't think so. What was the sentence?


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[Assistant] I used to have a joke about all these based on true sports stories. Even, there's usually the other team, they're terrible. Like I'm thinking about football. They're usually yelling racist stuff or what in so many of these movies. Even if that's true.


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[Assistant] How does a center fumble a snap? Not the quarterback. Well, I played center. That's the easiest thing to do.


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[Assistant] Alright guys, as a parent, your top priority is always your child's well-being. We know that, Nate and I know that. Greg's got kids out there in the world.


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[Assistant] With Term Life Insurance from Fabric by Grubber Life, help protect your family so their future is secure no matter what happens.


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[Assistant] You could be offered coverage instantly with no health exam required. Boy, that would really help me out.


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[Assistant] At meetfabric.com slash nate. That's meetfabric.com slash nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meet Fabric dot com slash Nate. Policies issued by Western Southern Life Assurance Company not available in certain states. Prices subject to underwriting and health questions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so this week I just called it, uh, the return of Greg Warren because, uh,


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[Assistant] I got, we didn't get into the Missouri stuff last time, like a lot of people wanted to get into. So I got some Missouri stuff, but I got to ask first.


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[Assistant] We did episode on peanut butter and potato chips. Yeah. It aired on May 18th. Yeah. We broke the story about Jeff. You gave all the inside secrets two days later.


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[Assistant] Tell me, was it a hit job? Was it something, did you expose too much?


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[Assistant] There's a Pringles, uh, brand, Sour Cream and... Onion.


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[Assistant] There's 168 Pringle flavors. Oh man.


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[Assistant] What did they say about that?


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[Assistant] Now, Smuckers, I was reading how the GIF recall affected Smuckers. Smuckers is doing pretty well, sounds like. Uncrustables. Are you an Uncrustable guy?


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[Assistant] Liam Morgan has it on her rider, on crustables in her dressing room.


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[Assistant] I remember a commercial where someone would actually knock the...


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[Assistant] I had a few Missouri questions I wanted to ask you. Yeah, sure man. One of them I posed to these guys, uh, when you weren't here. Uh, so the St. Louis Arch.


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[Assistant] I'll just tell you. 250? It's, it's 630. It's the same. Oh man. It's a perfect square.


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[Assistant] All right, let me give you a, there's a good segue to it. So the guy who invented the elevator for that, college dropout, like all these architects couldn't figure it out, but this guy.


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[Assistant] But, I mean, this is so, this is Nate to a T. He could figure out stuff the other ones couldn't. He made it half elevator, half Ferris wheel.


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[Assistant] So there was a guy who used suction cups, climbed all the way to the top and parachuted down. Really? Yea, in 92. I thought you would know all this, Greg.


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[Assistant] Kansas City has more fountains than any city in the world, except Rome.


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[Assistant] I was going to mention that next, that they're the home of barbecue. Uh, I don't know if they have the most, but.


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[Assistant] It's kind of like a train. It is a train, but it's like, uh, it's like, uh,


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[Assistant] I would love it, man. It says Missouri Governor Mike Parson.


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[Assistant] I think so, it's like magnet, it's magnets and there's no friction, uh, so it just, it just zips along.


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[Assistant] Uh, some of the worst natural disasters in history in Missouri. Some crazy tornadoes. Joplin tornado.


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[Assistant] I mean, that map looks like we could be okay. Memphis, not so much, but here in Nashville. Of course I live on the west side of town. That's how the new Madrid.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Man, that just. Well, I guess that's how it affected. That was 1895.


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[Assistant] I'm home this week, but I do want to mention a lot of people in Bristol did not know this. April 14th, I'm going to be in Johnson City and I'm bringing Nate and Aaron with me and Dusty. So April 14th, Johnson City. A lot of people don't know that we're all doing that show as well.


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[Assistant] Oh, they lost the Giants in the first one. Yeah. Cowboys twice. I know that much. I think three times, right? Probably. I know at least two, maybe three, but I think the Giants was one of them.


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[Assistant] Oh my gosh, did you see that cow, the Cowboys game? He missed five field goals.


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[Assistant] He spells Nick without the K, N-I-C. Sounds like a weird basketball conference. Yeah. Oh, the Nick. Yeah, he's in the N-I-C. Yeah, he's in the N-I-C. It does sound like, you got it.


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[Assistant] That's pretty cool. I'd like to see this ring.


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[Assistant] Michael, Tony, now it's in a picture of it, end of the podcast.


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[Assistant] It's crazy. Well, speaking of Cardinals, there was the, uh, the, uh, what's the guy's name that played for the, uh, Cardinals that, oh God, he went to war.


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[Assistant] Like right after 9-11. TILMAN. TILMAN! Yeah.


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[Assistant] We have that next to the sink, the one that goes on the stick. It just sets up that way. Back in the day, you had the one that would go horizontal, but we get the stick. We've got one out in the.


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[Assistant] When you pulled it off, I expect it to be about this big, like a piece of paper. Then they've got the ones that have the half tear.


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[Assistant] He's saying she takes the half-tear, tears that.


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[Assistant] If the napkin's not thick enough and it sticks to you, that's, that's trash, right? So a lot of that, if you're staying in a hotel.


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[Assistant] And you, you know, in the coffee area and they have the little packs of the Splenda.


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[Assistant] That napkin in there is the worst napkin that exists on the planet. So I can't trust those napkins. And if I got food, I'm eating it in my room.


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[Assistant] I used the bath mat. That's my napkin. The bath mat.


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[Assistant] Or, you know, a lot of times it's like the hand towel. And I put that on me, I just take my clothes off and I sit there and I eat like rotisserie chicken naked with this towel on me.


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[Assistant] And then I'll wipe it off and it's nasty. And I put that in the shower. I'm thinking if someone just visits, comes in here and sees like all these dark brown, orange stains, washcloth in the shower. Like what, what's wrong with that guy? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you can't trust those hotel napkins.


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[Assistant] That's your last name, I guess over time.


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[Assistant] It probably comes and goes like, it's funny the first time you hear it, but then that's your whole life.


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[Assistant] I'm getting tired of that too, by the way. A lot of that's happening. What?


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[Assistant] Reid did The Office on Netflix. It's coming back in a third or fourth wave. Well, it's the kids that are watching The Office for the first time. Right. And they think it's hilarious. Yea, and they think it's hilarious. I mean, The Office is hilarious, but the whole, that's what she said.


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[Assistant] It's only funny when you're doing it if Steve Carell's doing it. Yes. You know. And if you said that's what she said for the fourth time in the same day, the same person.


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[Assistant] It's enough. You gotta open her ears. I have to go. She's, she says a lot, doesn't she? Tell her to shut up.


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[Assistant] Wasting their money on if they're still using that email.


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[Assistant] And if they're still using, not the dial-up service, but maybe a...


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[Assistant] A Wi-Fi plan, I don't know what plans AOL, do they even exist?


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[Assistant] I forgot who comedian, what comedian does this, but he goes, here's a quick impression, right? He just, he takes his hands, cuffs, the microphone goes.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, uh, just how you get free internet, I guess, back in the day. I don't even remember too much about it, but I'm like, wow, I haven't seen a net zero email address a long time. My first email address was Hotmail. Hotmail. Yep.


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[Assistant] Is Fort Fisher, what's the Fort Fisher part of this? I don't know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, hermit. When's the last time you've heard hermit as like instead of homeless or.


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[Assistant] You know, like, uh. Well, Herman, there's like a choice.


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[Assistant] I know what that is. And that's just you, your own shell, I guess, maybe where the term comes from.


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[Assistant] But I haven't heard that term used as a, on a human being in forever.


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[Assistant] I didn't know either. Library. You just said library. Library. When I found out it was pronounced that way, it's almost like, oh now I have to go out of my way to prove that I know how it's spelled.


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[Assistant] Does it hit you like, like is it a, uh,


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[Assistant] Just as a topic or as a whole thing that played out in your


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[Assistant] How'd you get that? That reminds me of this. Check this out. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Like a theme going, right? If you like, okay, I want this theme to be all about this. Yes. And for some reason you got the alligator thing and you know it's good.


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[Assistant] How do you, how do you make it work? That's the hard part sometimes is like, well, how does that, how do I get into this?


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[Assistant] Do you feel that over time though, you've been doing this a long time now when an idea or topic or a thought comes to you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll know, like, pretty quick. Quicker now than when you started. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] Looking for a new sermon. He's a pastor. So that's like, what, every week?


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[Assistant] Baptist, not like that at all. It's like, we're just, just sending, you don't know, it's going to be something related to the Bible. And, uh, he'll spin it into his world and then your world. And then that's it. It's not like a predetermined thing. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm that way. Things need to happen in my life for me to want to go talk about it. I'm not like the kind of guy, like, here's what happened in the news. And then I weigh in on that. I can't, I mean, I'll do some of that on the podcast, but I won't do that stand up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, to make it funny in real world is almost like it has to be real to me in my life. Yes.


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[Assistant] Lived it, experienced it on a, you know, first hand level kind of thing.


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[Assistant] Actually, the main, you know, first, indigenous, where? Africa?


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[Assistant] Again, I don't know, I don't have the facts on this.


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[Assistant] I would like to meet a kangaroo one day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a huge state, right? Like if you look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's what you could do with Canada, I guess. I don't know. I think the United States.


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[Assistant] The, the entire state of Australia is almost the entire state of what's a country. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to.


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[Assistant] What do they call rednecks over there in Australia? They always have their own terms for the rednecks in that area. Like I feel like Australia is that anyway.


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[Assistant] Bogan. Oh, I like that. Bogan sounds cool. Or a Westy? What's a Westy?


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[Assistant] To Bogan. To Bogan. To Bogan. Bogan today.


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[Assistant] I had heard the mullet is like, you know how it comes and goes lately a lot. Yeah. But over there it's like.


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[Assistant] It, it, it has more meaning and they, uh, are really into them all. It's more so than we are here in America.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I've seen kids with rat tails. Don't see many adults with a rat tail. If you see one at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think the barbed wire around the arm was the first one that a lot of people got the same one of. Yea. You wanna show us yours?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do have two. I got one right here and one right here. You want to see this? What is that? Yeah. What does that say? All right. You guys love this. It looks like a grim reaper doing standup comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My brother's got one he's embarrassed of. When he went to college for the first time, he went to Western Carolina and he joined a fraternity because he didn't know anybody.


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[Assistant] You know, it was like, I didn't know anybody, I just had to make friends. I joined a fraternity. And it got the, uh, Delta Sigma Phi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right next to his crotch. Right next to his junk. I'm like, oh, is that... Every time you look at that, you can think of your boys? That's nice. I get it all the time. Why would you put it there? Just trying to hide it from mom and dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it used to be a thing people get drunk and get a tattoo. Now it's thawed out. It's, uh, people have their whole body mapped out. A guy I went to high school with went to Myrtle beaches when he turned 18, got drunk and got a Tasmanian devil drinking a beer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? And I was like, I'm gonna get a tattoo ahead of a middle age crisis type deal. I was like, I wanna get a tattoo but I don't know what I want. So I thought, well good way to find out what looks good on you, get ahead of tattoo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I went to a place, I got like three inattentive, a gigantic one too. Like the rock. That was an eagle. Yea, like an eagle, it was like, you know, holding a gun in one hand and a beer in the other, something dumb and American. A big gigantic eagle on my chest, and I'm like one here and one here, just because I wanted to walk around with it and see what it looked like, to see if I'm that guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to know, would it look good on you before you commit to a life of it, why not design the henna first, walk around with it, see what people, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take your time with it. I think it's a good idea, what you were saying, that disappearing over time, you'll have temporary ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People were outraged. Yes, they were pissed off. I was surprised I won. Yeah. I mean, I didn't know to the extent. Lavelle's funny, dude. I mean. No, Lavelle's great. He looks funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I got, I got the money and you didn't. Was he upset?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he was a little, well, if you, if you can find a clip of, uh, Bill Bellamy reading the results.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause even Bill didn't know. Oh well. So Bill's like, and the last comic standard winner is, they're going to pause for a long time. He goes, John Reeve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeah, I won. So the difference is, if you're a what, in the room, Lavelle Crawford was killing all the time, as he does. By the way, we filmed and taped that in Los Angeles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably his, more of his crowd than my crowd in the, in the audience. And he's killing, he's doing great. And I'm doing fine. I'm doing fine. I'm not killing as much as he is, but I'm doing fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At home, when you watch it and you're not in the room, it's a different experience. And you're like, what did he say? I can't understand the words he's using. Like it was hard to understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're like, well, I heard him say bookstore. And that's, and so people, I just had a hard time understanding him and I think that helped me. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I do remember that and I remember Kathleen Madigan was a judge on.


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[Assistant] And my season, that season was the only, only year that Last Comic Standing was not just in America, it was Canada voted, uh, Australia voted, the UK voted.


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[Assistant] And she said it wasn't even close. By the time America got done voting, it did not matter what Australia, the UK, or Canada did. She said I wanted a landslide. I'm like, really?


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[Assistant] And uh, I have, you know, I guess that's part of it. I don't understand cause in the room it was like, it looked like him, but outside of it, different story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right, right. Some people had picked me to win, but it was a good season. You had, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ralph Harris, there's Doug Benson. Doug Benson in the back. Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer. Lavelle. John Caparulo was on that one somewhere. I mean, didn't make it to that level, but there was a lot of good comedians that year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the, you know, the show itself I think has always had an identity crisis.


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[Assistant] Or are we a show that's just a reality show and you have to live in a house? Are we a show that's just highlighting the best ones out there today?


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[Assistant] So, you know, it takes a year or so to do all of it. So about 10 years in. Yeah. Yeah. I had, by the time I got on here, I had already done all those Dodge commercials.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was already, had a Comedy Central's half hour presence, had already been on Rodney Carrington's sitcom. It wasn't like I was a brand new face, but a lot of people didn't know the name John Reap, they just knew, oh I've seen that guy in something, he looks familiar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this helped the name part come be more recognized, the genre.


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[Assistant] And you will burn, you'll think, okay, the philosophy I, my philosophy was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do my best thing first, because that, if it's funny, I get to advance. I can't, I can't save anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because if I try and save it, I get kicked off the show and now I had no chance to ever show my best.


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[Assistant] So I felt like I'm going to start with the best. So you do that and then like, okay, so it's your best bit, right? And then it's part of a heckle challenge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not. You get kicked out. Do not do that. So some of us almost protested that whole challenge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did it and I had, I hate that I burned through some of my best comedy right there while Jerry D was yelling over it. Um, but we had to perform at medieval times. That was one of the best, worst ones too. You know, we dress up like court gestures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come out swinging your best material, then if you keep advancing.


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[Assistant] And by the time you get to the last round, even though in your brain you're thinking, I'm out of my good stuff, I have to get out of this chug, that's all I got left. By then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People have already seen you kill, and they're kinda like, I like this guy. Now they like you, and they're rooting for you. So even if you have a bad set, maybe they just vote for you because, well, I like you more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not on that show you're not allowed to. Oh wait, I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh yeah. Cause you could, uh, so I don't know how you're seeing it. I never made it. But you, you would. I auditioned a bunch. So in the very first audition, right? It's just you at a comedy club and there's the three celebrity judges sitting there. No audience. Yeah. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I went up and did a chunk there and then luckily it was Alonzo Bowden and Kathleen Madigan and Ant was one of them.


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[Assistant] At about 20 seconds into it, they already knew I was, they were going to advance me. They just, all right, John, stop, stop, save it, save it, save it. They said save it. I'm like, okay, good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I know I'm going to come back that night and I can do that again and not burn that material.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then they would cut some stuff out and you have time, there's a hiatus and things would air and you could watch it and be like, Oh, they never aired that.