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[Assistant] Dude. Perfect timing. Adam. I'm gonna be promoting. Adam, bro. I'm gonna be promoting my Shonda Show, have me on, player. Well, why didn't I go then? Can you bring me back? Oh yeah, hell yeah.


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[Assistant] You have to. I would take the when out. It's just, Blake goes. Blake goes hard. Hey. Yep. You know.


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[Assistant] He tried to brand it, and now hurt? He tried to like trademark, let's go. Yes.


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[Assistant] But, we popularized it. We made it a thing to say. It was on, my, uh, Emma was at the fuckin', uhm, like buying, uh, birthday cards the other day. And she sent me a picture of one that says like, get weird on your birthday. And I was like, fuck, okay. Well, I think even before us, I think.


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[Assistant] Who was the host, who was the host of that OC Fair? The host of it? I thought you guys always went down to OC Fair and there was like a host. Was it not Kel Mitchell? Wait, no, what? Oh no.


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[Assistant] Uhm, my first CD, my first CD, uhm. Fuck, maybe it was Check Your Head? Ooh. Wow, that's pretty cool. Solid. Solid.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well don't get me wrong, so I'm, no I'm old, I had tapes before that, so my first tape was Simpson singing the blues.


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[Assistant] Is that Jenny I got your number or is that the outfields?


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[Assistant] And by the way, I had older brothers whose I had access to their CD collection. You guys were trailblazers, you know, so I'm listening to a lot of Madonna.


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[Assistant] I could see it go in that video. I stole Beastie Boys stuff from Eric and Madonna from Oli.


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[Assistant] No, I did, but I didn't have to have so many, cause I could just- Were they hand-me-down CDs? Well, I could just tape their CDs. Was your first CD a hand-me-down? No, no, no. Well, my- no. Okay. But Eric probably had it, and I listened to it, and I was like, I want my own. Right. Right on. But, yeaah.


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[Assistant] But you never listen to your parents' records, even? I know people got into that, but I didn't- we didn't- they were records, I didn't know how to play it, fuck it. Well, I guess I had my own, like, kid records from like the library. I only started-


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[Assistant] Sorry, Sick is what I called them. Gotcha is a brand where there's like a, it's like a shark holding a flag. With pink sunglasses on. Oh dang. That does sound cool. Yeaah, it's like a surf style. Yeaah, I wasn't mad at that.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's like what this was. What about your dad's gear? Did you guys ever dip into your dad's gear? Oh yeah, always.


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[Assistant] Hey uncle, I picked up all this garbage so you could buy a scarf.


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[Assistant] The vape is corny. Vape is so corny. Like, like vinyl? You think it'll be like vinyl? Or people will be like, it'll be a throwback. Oh, it just actually tastes better. It's like, it's like your, like, us like.


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[Assistant] What does that mean? I hope they are. They would pop the trunk and then when the, when the car would rock, it would like, they would just let the trunk kind of go free in the back. Oh, that's the thing.


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[Assistant] Hey, I'm dumping the bucket of money on it, yeah. And real talk, how much are you going to charge the workaholics movie to rent the voe from you? Yeaah. Are you going to fucking bend his arm?


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[Assistant] I think one of my first tweets ever was, when I was trying to be like, what's gonna make a mark here? I was like, do you weigh more? Exactly, I was like, here we go Twitter. Do you weigh more when you have a loner?


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[Assistant] I'm trying to feel like if I remember that.


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[Assistant] I was going to apologize to Blake for teasing you about you getting nostalgic about those Walmart bins. We actually never got to the bottom of that bin. Where were you going with that?


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[Assistant] It's called I'm Not Crisp. Uh, the true story of, I believe his last name is Tyson. Uh, I'm gonna, we're working the kinks out. It's gonna be great.


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[Assistant] Excellent intro. Welcome everyone to the 69th episode of This is Important.


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[Assistant] For the fans to call, and uhm. And you did. We got a lot of responses.


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[Assistant] Yeah, well, you're probably just really buffing the chest and everything. Yeah, I probably buffed, uh, the lats.


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[Assistant] Wow, happy 69 everybody. What a freaking milestone. I hope we have like a lot of surprises in, uh, in store for the audience.


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[Assistant] Indeed surprises for some of us. So how's everybody feeling? You got your, I got some apple cider, I'm feeling really good. Not a beer. Are you, uh, are you off the


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, I'm doing the, the New Year's, uh, the cleanse, you know, everybody kinda jumps on January to just hit the reset button.


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[Assistant] It is. I love it. I think it is funny as hell. For those of you- Are you in the know? Kyle? Adam? You know? Let's go, Brandon.


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[Assistant] And they were kind of picking it up on the microphone during the interview and the person's like, oh yeah, they're, uh, they're saying let's go Brandon. So then that caught on.


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[Assistant] Kyle, speaking as a bitch, it was inspiring. I want to make my play as an asshole coming up. So I'm really trying to devise the right time to really let my asshole fly.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I feel like if you're a real asshole, you would've been like, oh, okay, is that, oh, so that, that's how it's gonna be, and then you just cut the feed, and then you dip out.


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[Assistant] They're all special, and that's what he's gonna grow to realize. Kyle never misses a 69, baby. Oh no, I know him.


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[Assistant] Oh, you're saying if you guys did a threesome together, the two of you and a girl, you would have seen his nutsack.


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[Assistant] Got married. I think that would be really interesting to, uhm,


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[Assistant] To do with a friend, like have a threesome with a very close friend, and I wonder where that could lead.


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[Assistant] But I also think, I also think it all depends on what kind of like ratio guy to girl sort of thing you're talking about, cause like what if you were, you know, say at some


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[Assistant] Yeah, how much could you, how much could you tug on them? Could you bite on them and stuff and they'd stay on?


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[Assistant] Really glued on. That's a Lexi for you, man. That guy is a, that guy's a pro. Now he's winning like Academy Awards and shit.


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[Assistant] I like to think he owes us. We tried to throw in some stuff, like the, like, um, like Bill's, uh, Bill's, uh, dream, when we were all three, those like weird, like albino, steampunk. We gotta post those.


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[Assistant] So anytime, like speaking of like scenes that I forget about that were from Workaholics, like anytime I see a scene of Bill, I still crack up so hard. Like where Alice was like saying something about how he can't get chicks and nobody dates him and he's just like, ouch.


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[Assistant] Aren't there some like old episodes of television durrs that you saw, like of Bill, like what shows was he on? No, Ghostman.


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[Assistant] Calls to listen to, yeaah, I think we do, I don't know if we're, let's see, let me, you guys talk a little while, let me, uh.


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[Assistant] Was that right? Yeah, I don't know. It was one of the first times that like, yeah, that clock, it was like kind of a big thing, like, cause it's, that trailer was so memorable and then like that's the way it sort of ends and then you're at the movie theater waiting to see that part and it never comes.


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[Assistant] Blake, hit us with one, baby. Okay, yeaah, here we go, so. What is this? This is just some questions that came in along with our Happy 69. Let's see if, uh, this, if this actually will work. Call and response. Can you guys hear this?


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[Assistant] I definitely covered it on mine. Mine was on the airplane. That was probably the weirdest place I did that.


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[Assistant] That is all Ders. Ders was very particular about what hung up in his cubicle.


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[Assistant] I mean, the way we got, the way we even got there though, is we were trying to think of the most insane way a person could lose their virginity, and I think we came up with, on a high night at a party, which, my goodness, freaking legendary. Legendary.


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[Assistant] She rocks it. She really rocks it.


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[Assistant] I got it, but it was dirty. It didn't sound good. Didn't sound good.


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[Assistant] I mean, it's pretty up there. Kyle's return on the 69th episode. That was a lot of fun.


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[Assistant] I think lunch is the best


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[Assistant] Young bucks when they were cracking skulls.


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[Assistant] When he says cinematic universe, he means the ENTIRE universe. All of it, not- Yeah. It's like Space Jam. It kinda tied every universe together. The new one, I'm sorry. Exactly.


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[Assistant] You gotta get a couple of them, but it's a meal for sure. You're talking to the voice of Volcano Nachos, so don't think he's ever gonna throw a dirty word.


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[Assistant] Did it change a man? Also, it was at the time when we thought that if you were in a commercial, you got free product from said place as well. And we thought we were gonna be just neck deep in volcano nachos and that's not the case. True. Taco neck deep? You'd like walk into a Taco Bell with Adam and be like, pointing to? Like, uh?


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[Assistant] Super dangerous, dude. That's one of the scariest things, like, I always remember hearing about, like, people in San Francisco, like, bike messengers and all that. Like, when you're bombing those hills, you hit someone, you, you straight up, like, you die, you kill them, you're like a missile.


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[Assistant] Absolutely, there's four stories in this world. The transporter!


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[Assistant] Throw mama from the train. Is that good? Weirdly I remember watching with Kyle, like, at your party or something. Why did we write that?


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[Assistant] Hey, funny. Who's the second male, who's the second male lead besides Danny DeVito? Do you recall?


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[Assistant] Throw mama from the train is like Danny DeVito hires Billy Crystal or Billy Crystal hires Danny DeVito to kill his mother. And their plot is to kill her on the train.


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[Assistant] I'll check it out. Sloth Love Chunk, Baby Ruth, I know the quotes, I know the gist, okay.


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[Assistant] It was probably her. It was probably her. This shit's important. There's only so many good, uh, grandmas in film. What are legendary grandmas of motion pictures?


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[Assistant] When I see her, I just saw her recently in some older movie and I was like, oh shit, she was in so much stuff. Maybe she was even like hosted like the Muppet Show one time. And it was like, oh damn.


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[Assistant] Which would be an honor. It would be such an honor.


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[Assistant] He's the friend that they can't be themselves around. Right.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he had a real weird voice, I feel like he was kinda like, really. Oh, he was hella sad.


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[Assistant] There isn't a line totally because you know who crosses the line? Kermit. Kermit the frogs on both. Which is weird.


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[Assistant] And now his puppet bros, they get into the whole thing for the wrong reason. Crank anchors change everything.


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[Assistant] I don't think he is actually. That was like the weird part of it.


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[Assistant] Well, this museum is a permanent installment in Atlanta. It's very cool. It's just one wing of it is dedicated to Jim Henson and they have a ton of like sick relics. But then the other wing is like puppets throughout history and of the world. And those are mad interesting too, but.


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[Assistant] It's just like lifted trucks and frickin' just lots of fel, just tons of fel in googly eyes.


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[Assistant] Gonzo was sick too. I'd love to do a scene with Gonzo. That'd be amazing.


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[Assistant] Why don't you say head and shoulders above? I watched a lot of that. Because remember the mom, you couldn't see. Yup, you just saw her socks and stuff.


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[Assistant] They put red and stimpy in the morning? That seems a little...


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[Assistant] Not to mention like, Muppet- Muppet Babies was Nickelodeon as well, right? Or-


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[Assistant] It's Jim Henson, but it's a completely different show.


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[Assistant] Like, I wanna, I just wanna know my stats, like, how many times I've been around COVID, like, with a mask or whatever, and I've avoided it, and I've dodged the bullet, it's just like...


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[Assistant] COVID. You're around. Uh, COVID is my friend.


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[Assistant] So you have dispelled that, uh, rumor. Because you got it.


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[Assistant] That's terrifying. That's terrible. That's really scary. But it also means, what, nobody's, nobody's fucking out there or what? Nobody's having babies? Like yea, come on.


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[Assistant] It's like calling somebody a piece of baloney.


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[Assistant] He's a crazy boy. Uh, well, how- Ders, how many other ways could we take a city by a city that sounds like a city? But it's already there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so when your tongue finally reawakens, it'll just be scorch.


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[Assistant] Hey, do you guys, you wanna see something, is there something that I stumble upon, uhm, every five years or so, uh, out of my, my, look at what I found, dude.


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[Assistant] Oh dude, that's from like. My freaking original chain wallet, man. Describe to the audience what you are holding up. So I've got my leather smiley face chain wallet. Wow. That I purchased from Hot Topic in probably, I don't know, maybe


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[Assistant] I refined this thing like every five years I feel, and then I took it away.


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[Assistant] Oh man, my man's a stoner, man. You might have COVID. Yeah, you might just have COVID. You might have COVID.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're right. Two chains, I feel, I feel like two chains has like upwards of seven chains at this point.


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[Assistant] Yeah, dude, that's a great question. I wonder if he like looks at himself in the mirror, sees the seven chains, and he's like, I'm not living up to my name. Right. Just have two extremely expensive chains. Right.


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[Assistant] I kind of feel super sorry for Beyonce because she keeps it together so well and she's so, she's such a goddess and then Jay-Z has just started slipping like fricking just- He's just com- He's just


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[Assistant] But, but Durr's just brought up a very good point, where he was like super like suit and tie, like yes, like he looked like put together, he looked like a business man.


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[Assistant] No, I'm down for that, I just feel bad. You're being a gobble goo! I just, I'm just like, it's so wild that Beyonce is just so more, like so much more put together at this point and still just like bringing the heat where like Jay-Z just kinda went into like, I just play video games now.


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[Assistant] Hey man, I'm just spitballing, I'm trying to think, I'm racking my brain, like, there's gotta be a couple. That was like a bad example. Dude, you're being a goblin.


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[Assistant] Is this your apology? Is this your apology kickoff?


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[Assistant] I know he, I know he represents like, uh, New Orleans. Daytona? I know he represents New Orleans pretty hard. He's like up and in the like- Does he? Yeaah, he's always doing the like, Mardi Gras hella hard. I'm like, this dude does it right.


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[Assistant] I feel like if you've ever been to a carnival, you've heard Metallica.


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[Assistant] So, so what's the set like? Are they, cause I remember they did that whole thing where they played with like the symphony and all that. Lots of fire, lots of fire.


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[Assistant] Yeah, unless you like spiked it into the faux hawk that he rocks in. Oh my god.


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[Assistant] That's cool. We've, uh, we've, uh, we've adopted the same for you. We're Yolk folks. Yeah, we're Yolk folks.


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[Assistant] Oh yea dude, it holds up. And I didn't realize, I didn't realize it got buried so much. I'm glad people are seeing it because uhm, my gosh, what a performance.


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[Assistant] That's not even a talent, that's a mutant power.


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[Assistant] Yes, which, speaking of which, if I could just do a quick plug, I'm drinking, uh, the new Villager. Ooh, I heard it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you're- you're purely making like, homemade-


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[Assistant] Cocaine fucks y'all. Yeah, I did it, I did it one time and like the next, I didn't, I had no idea what the fuck I was, you know, what I was in store for and the next day I had to like go over to my dad's house and watch football and I just felt like a dirty. Right.


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[Assistant] What am I in store for, sir? No, but I think even worse is like anytime you're at like a coke party or a coke bar, it's just like the vibe is just not for me. I'm purely just, uhm, powered by Jaeger. Cocaine is a different vibe.


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[Assistant] Really? Well I mean it definitely has the, like, hot dudes and chicks. The sexiest girls.


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[Assistant] The hair was perfect. It's coke hair, dude. The gel. The gel? Oh god. But if you have to take a shit at a coke party, good luck, man. Cause they're all in there doing lines? Dude, you can never.


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[Assistant] I mean half the band went to rehab and all that, so it's probably a good vibe.


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[Assistant] Just to put it into like perspective, like you know how there was that Woodstock 99 documentary, it was like the worst festival ever, it was actually a really cool documentary, it was just like.


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[Assistant] Dude, do you remember, do you guys, did you guys ever hear the, uh, urban legend where like, did you ever hear?


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[Assistant] The urban legend where like somebody was on, I think for us it was like, you were on a bark train. You feel a little prick on your back. You, you, you inspect it, you pull it out, it's a needle with a little flag that says, congratulations, you just got AIDS.


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[Assistant] On like a word and then like dip and then it's like congrats, you just got infected by AIDS.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like they, yeah, they just put a little note on it that's like, it's just like super sinister evil shit.


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[Assistant] I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it did. I haven't googled it. I didn't see if


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[Assistant] I don't know, maybe that's a urban legend that's true. Like what was the other one? Remember where it was like, we went to a Marilyn Manson concert and then he had this box full of puppies and then he like sent it in the crowd and he's like, we're not going to play another song until this box of puppies comes back dead.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's fucking horrific dude urban legends. I thought that shit was true. I don't know I remember


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[Assistant] Yeah, but it kind of evolved right into like, uhm, it was like a tube and then it was a frozen gerbil, like a gerbil


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[Assistant] Hey wait, am I tripping? Is it just the California thing or does everybody know about soup plantations?


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[Assistant] Like Southern California, because I knew in Northern California we had something called Sweet Tomatoes. Basically what this is, is it's a, the whole restaurant is a salad bar. You walk in, you make your salad, then you go to the soup station, then you go to the, then you go to the muffin station.


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[Assistant] What do you mean? Yea, it is. No, it is not. No, Sizzler is a sit down restaurant with a su- salad bar. This- the entire restaurant is a salad bar.


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[Assistant] They sell those in the freezer section now. They sell those in the freezer section now. Heyo.


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[Assistant] If I'm dude in line and I was just waiting and now my beer is free, I'm hyped, dude. I'm hyped. That's a good move. Yeah, totally, free beer. I did that at, uh, in Chicago, or where were we, Ders? Was it Wisconsin? Oh, in Madison.


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[Assistant] We rolled up really slizzard and, uh, just feeling ballsy. I'm like, pizza's on me. People were hyped, dude. That macaroni and cheese pizza. Yeah, that was cool.


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[Assistant] Adam, after your wedding, I went sober for 22 days, dude, but now- Oh my! Then this Ashlyn dropped, this villager dropped, and I had to get on it, dude. I had to-


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[Assistant] Jers, did you have any takeaways from Alabama? Did you experience Alabama? I'm so curious, I've never been.


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[Assistant] No, but dude, Adam, you have an amazing opportunity. Atlanta is full of, like, American history. It's Martin Luther King, like, birthplace, dude.


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[Assistant] I'm literally parked in front of Martin Luther King's house.


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[Assistant] Oh shit. Oh hell yea dude. I fucked with Bubba Gump. Great merch.


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[Assistant] It's the best. I love it. So wait, you, so you like Forrest Gump but you don't like Dune? You're crazy, bro.


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[Assistant] I did. Well, you don't like Forrest Gump? Not as good as Dune.


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[Assistant] The dune visually is off the chain.


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[Assistant] But that's what was actually really frustrating is that they made that movie with the intention of it not ending to make a second movie, but they didn't even green light the goddamn second movie till like two weeks ago.


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[Assistant] I loved, I loved what Jason Momoa brought to the table. I thought he had a lot of heart.


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[Assistant] We all have mics. Cut the music. So, it was, you dropped the mic, which is different than a mic drop. Yes. No, it was an accident. It was a fight.


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[Assistant] So here's my, here's my vision is that it's- Give it to us. It was Chris Rock? Chris Rock mic drop? That makes sense. Like at the end of one of his stand up specials way back in the day, he like was like, I'm out and dropped it? Allegedly, yea.


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[Assistant] Right. Damn. That's, that's, that's, I think that's what I'm thinking of, and you guys know I was, I believe in 1983 I was 22. Yea, that's right.


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[Assistant] And we know the first mic cut was Forrest Gump when he was giving that speech. They were like,


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[Assistant] That's how you know she's a good actress, when she's like, I'm gonna run like this. And we all know what I'm talking about. Yes. Yes.


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[Assistant] And she's like, Bob, where are you gonna be? Are you gonna be, uh, Zemeckis, Bob? Uh, are you gonna be close on me tight? No, uh, real wide. Real wide.


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[Assistant] His face, you can't just swap me out. Oh, Todd Hanks. The infamous Todd Hanks. Yeah, Todd. Robin, Todd has been very cooperative. We're losing daylight here. That is the first, like, facial swap, right? Like... Yeah, we're talking about the firsts. What was the first first?


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[Assistant] Well done, man. The TV show numbers? Yes, the TV show. What's the TV show numbers? What is this now? Wasn't there a show where he was like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, he wants a lot of nuts. Cause we, look, we get Snickers all the time, we get Twix all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sometimes you gotta shake it up. And when's the last time you had a payday? Bro, all the time. Every time I go to Home Depot. What?


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[Assistant] Uh huh. Is it two pieces? You can't- yeaah. Payday for tomorrow. You can't save a payday. You put a little coin in your purse. That's what- that's what I call it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want nutrients on the move. Okay, so do you have...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How are the veggie hot dogs at Home Depot? Oh yeaah, we could talk about that. Oh buddy, non-existent. But wait, so Kyle, back when you ate meat, for sure when you go to Home Depot, you get, um, jerky, correct?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I meant, but like specifically, if I go to Home Depot, I'm like- Well Home Depot had the hot dog stand, so it was-


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't like to eat at the movies. Nothing? What do you mean nothing? But you snack, you snack, correct? Nah, I don't like to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know when to leave. Yea, you know when to- No, no, no. There is a website that tells you like when to go to the bathroom. Really? Yea, it's like if you go right now, you go-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's it. I don't want to be chewing and like... Chewing? Yeah, if you get Sour Patch Kids. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Practice? Oh yea, did we talk about this once upon a time? Did you used to see how long you could go without shitting or was that one of your homies? No, that's not me. I did have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's not a challenge as much as it is fun. Are we talking about a challenge?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just don't like the old Star Wars movies. Oh, Kyle, my backup guy froze. I just wasn't a fan of Star Wars back in the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This movie, this movie was like act one of whatever the story's gonna be. It was just like a slow build to the end and then when the credits hit, I was like, there's not another hour?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, and it was already long. Uhm, alright. No, it was, it's, that's the whole thing though, that now, it's like everything's a TV episode. I hate that. I hate it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn. It's, it's about, it's about like these, this, this, um, empire is gifted this planet and when they get there, there's people who already live there, then they found out that the people who like gifted them the planet


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, he's, he's, he's my guy, he's my doppelganger. I'll, I'll put the, uh, side by side up again on Instagram. I've done it before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a lot of stuff that's happening on the macro scale and there's no real like connection like interpersonal where you're like, oh, I'm rooting for this guy or this relationship. I mean, that's like the big challenge with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've been acting really weird. What do you want me to do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The PR machine that protects these superheroes who are like powerful and like, you know, stopping fighting crime, but then there's like the behind the scenes of like at what cost are they stopping crime. Right. What kind of heinous, uh, toxic masculinity is involved in their lifestyles, that kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I thought it was a cool take.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big assholes. Great. Yeaah. Big assholes. Big assholes. That one's cool. Uhm, but the dude, what's his name, Homelander guy? That actor is fucking unreal. His name is Homelander? In real life. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Is that the only father? No, I was gonna say that's not the only father-son combo we have. Really? Can anyone think of the other one? Yeah, I got it. Okay, you gotta...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the line that Clint had that we said forever? It was like a Thanks Obama or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ron Howard's brother, Clint, and Ron Howard's father, Rance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Rance was, he was killing, you know what's a funny thing in, I guess maybe I'll just speak for myself, uh, when you work with old, when you work with older actors, who are like getting up there in age, like 80s, sometimes you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't know when they're acting or when they're not. Like, cause they're trying to act old even if they don't present old, like when they say cut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And then bad teachers, bad Santa.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? It was called War with Grandpa? Oh, but it was like a little kid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna say there's an interview on YouTube where Jim Carrey says, I saw him at a restaurant and he says, he waved me over and he goes,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like you. Like he brought them over to say that he didn't like them. Like when they were filming, it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no dialogue for the first four minutes. It's all just pictures that tell you what you need to know. Here it is. You got it Adam?


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[Assistant] It should just say on the back, it should just say a famous actor was offered 7 million dollars to be in this movie with children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, he is amazing. And he was in Watchmen, like he had a nice, but like, to shout out Semi Pro over like, Watchmen, or, or Big Bad News Bears, or he was the new Freddy Krueger when he came back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I watch it every time I hit the stage, just to steal the little moves, the little moves from, uh... Yeah, smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gosh, you guys. This is some Hollywood hot talk. But that move, those five movies, that's a fuck, that's, that's, that's a five movie run that I don't know who else, that's a very elite club of people who have a five movie run like that.


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[Assistant] It's crazy, they're all, not only are they all hits, they're all like different genres, they're all like seminal, like kind of like, oh, horror movies can be, or I guess it's a thriller, but like Misery was a whole new kind of horror movie, Stand By Me was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what's crazy, Kerry Elwes? He's in both of those. What the fuck's up with that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's he in? Princess Prides? Alright, we did it. We did it already. Woah! Did you guys screen just change? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very cool. Very fun. That episode was actually fun because we had two iconic dudes from way back. We had, uhm... Biff. Biff. Biff. Also known as... Tom Wilson? Tom. Tom Wilson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rob, I know you're listening. Come on the pod. We'd love to have you. We'd love to just break down those five moves that are unmatchable. You can't come on the pod.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kyle, I wanna give a shout out to Kyle for looking so comfortable right now. If you're watching on YouTube, you know what I'm talking about. If you're not watching, you don't know what I'm talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, I forget that the early 2000s are so far away now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is your pit hair all dust? I would love to know what peo- cause I don't know, I have no- Yours is like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whispy, wispy jazz. I accidentally, I accidentally


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[Assistant] Nice, bro. Yea, dude. Yea, it's a little funny how that works. Do we address the elephant not in the room or do we just kinda like act like everything's normal here? Bully. Bully. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Well, if we could, I mean, we couldn't miss today because it's basically our Super Bowl, guys. You know what just happened, right? Oh god, please tell us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hot shot rud, baby. Was he in hotshots? I wish. They should remake it with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doesn't have, uh, Starbucks unicorn shakes all the time. Those rainbow ones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can pull it up right now. Last year was... He's sexy. Yeaah, he is. That would be 2020's Sexiest Man of the Year. Do you guys have a guess? Yours is Michael B. Jordan. I thought that's who it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We know our hot boys. And it's like, I dunno, I think like Idris was like two years ago, I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure 1990 was uh, Richard Gere, uh, let's see, who else? But that's my whole thing, like the de- like what is exactly the definition of sexy? Cause yes, Paul Rudd, great guy, super handsome, doesn't age a lot, but when I think like, sexiest man alive, I'm trying to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm thinking guys that get me like, you know, flood the basement, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh sure, you're, yeah, like you think it's somebody else and then, but it's in the back of your mind, you're like, that's probably that dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, no that is weird though, that's like the whole thing about the process is like, of course you want your kids to have friends, but when you're an adult it's being friends with the other parents and it's like, people are fucking weird dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember that. Yea, you were really about like, unsnapping your, your... Chicks. Dog it, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's why you should have been sexiest man alive back then, dude. Because you were pulling some tricks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never have, yeaah, I'm anti-masked.


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[Assistant] I feel like the first time that I ever like was out in public, like I took a flight to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the hell did I go? I think it was to Atlanta. And I was already feeling very like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had it back in a ponytail, but maybe these like really sleepy baby blues just uh, just lured them in. Do you think you have sleepy baby blues?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it looks like I have like very weighed down stoner eyes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like to think that you just started this conversation just to get this point and I'm here for it. Let's talk about freakin' Shredder and his-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that guy is like, coming off hot off of ET went right into Ninja Turtles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, I did. Yeah, because I remember when Raphael says, damn, it shook me to the core, I'm like, oh shit. Motherfucker, they cuss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will also say that, Anders Holm, you have the worst mouth of any of the friends I have in my life. You have a terribly foul mouth. You cuss so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, you're- I wanna live and say that. You cuss so much. You know that, right? And? And?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might not even notice it. I, I still am like, I don't know, do you guys cuss in front of your parents?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have to whip my dick out of this on you to get the fuck out of my house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I like this, Ders. You think they're gonna take away swear words?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's demolition man. Maybe you're getting your future movies mixed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, for everyone who was so fucking like just hung up on it 15 minutes ago, like who directed Ninja Turtles? Racking your brain. It's Steve Barron. Yeah. The Steve Barron. Next soccer game you're at with your kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could remake that movie and it would be a freaking hit, man. It's like, a serial killer that was so heinous, like it's frozen or whatever, is thawed out in the future, and they have to thaw out the cop from the past to get him, cause he's so brutal in today's day and age.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which by the way, uh, Steve Baron directed Coneheads, which I referenced earlier, which is bizarre to say. So he's got some hits.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was an Irish-British filmmaker. So that tells you one thing. And he directed the music video for Billie Jean by Michael Jackson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, god, I forget that the early 2000s are so far away now.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you can't be a young buck. They're not giving it to Timothy Chalamet. They're not giving it to Lil Nas X. It's sexiest man life, right? You gotta be a man at 48.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was on the way out, the morning zoo crew was just reading Maxim magazine and being like, have you heard this story?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that was for the movie we were writing where Adam was a motivational speaker and it never came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, Max Diamond. Netflix, if you're listening now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This may be a really stupid question and I'm, I'm ready to get a firing squad by you guys, but how do dealerships work when like people put their names on car dealerships? Alright, I gotta, uh, how long have we been out here for?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been starting to hear that like now at the docs though, since there are like all these shipments like waiting, there's kind of starting to be like these, you know, like backdoor deals where you can get your shit unloaded before another. It's like all this whole like political thing going, not even politics, but ways that people are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, like the wire, is that just because we, when the wire dropped, we were in Ryder's room and like Ryder's used to jerk off that shit? People do not mention the wire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Almost, almost over. Almost right when Piers Scott's Sexiest Man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, does he acknowledge that he was, like, one of the greatest parts in one of the greatest movies ever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His character would have been an irredeemable asshole. Like, when you see him in the off moments, he would have been like, yeah, I'm just fucking her, you know? Like, the kids, whatever. It's like, she's a great lay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But throughout the whole movie, he's a great dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even to the point where at the end like Robin Williams like almost kills him, he gives him like CPR and then he like gives him a look like, hey man, thanks for saving my life. He's like just the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't think they ever mention it there. What do you mean there really is? A porno parody. You don't remember like in, in like, on Twitter like during quarantine they're like, yo there's a cut of Mrs. Doubtfire that is, I don't know, it might have been R. It might have been R.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, one of the other things that happened was like, right before corona hit, they were about to drop the live Broadway musical of Mrs. Doubtfire. Oh, like on NBC? That was coming out. Style, that thing? Like how they're about to do Annie?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if there was gonna be televised or if it was just gonna be on Broadway. And I wanted to see that shit so bad because guys, Mrs. Doubtfire is one of my top three movies. I love that film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was. Who else was in movies? Was he? I don't think Nathan Lane is in Mrs. Doubtfire, dude. It's that guy who like talks like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No he is not. I'm in Independence Day. Yes he is, dude. No he is not. You're thinking he's the, his gay brother or his gay brother's lover and he is neither of those roles. Nathan Lane is not the father.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of Richard Kind, uh, Curb, Curb is back, one of the greatest shows of all time, back in- Out the gate!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've seen a few of those stops. It's just basically like somebody who knows how to weld pretty well. And they're like, this is gonna be my business.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what it was is like, you know, we were at the OG Workaholics house, the house we shot at, but Adam and I were kinda like, we're not done being roommates and living this cool roommate lifestyle, so we're like, why not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, me and Adam were like, yo, let's cash out on this weird Hollywood Hills place and just, and the one thing that was weird is, uh, for the master bedroom, Adam and I said halfway through, like three months in, we were gonna flip-flop our rooms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. I believe so. A lot of shit happened while we were there. Oh yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, yes, yes, it had like a huge, like, spa area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, it hurts. Well, I'll shout out to us for making that move to that place and having a great couple years there man. I would, I love those years. We had a great time and just lots of great memories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And everybody, make sure you go on Tubi and check out Fabulous Furry Brothers cartoon. Today was the premiere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do people get Tubi? Tubi you can subscribe to on the website. It's free. So you just have to sign up and then you can get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck, you don't like oingo boingo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't. You say insane, but you look beautiful, but go ahead. Go ahead. Thank you, Blake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, we have to make you over. Wait, so you had to put eyeliner on the night before just to be ready for the photos?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I imagine the old look like wrinkles are going to be in pretty soon because people are going to be so unwrinkled that you're going to want those wisdom lines. Have they ever been in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we briefly mentioned it, but we didn't give it the spotlight we need to. Tanga, you're getting your flowers. Basically it's like a, what is it, like a silicone egg, and then you like pour the sauce in it, and then you just, you just blaze it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The strip club game like to have to be under the spearmint rhino umbrella. Cause what else is there? There's deja vu. I know is like a umbrella. Is that just mafia stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is the strangest idea for a strip club, but it is also really the coolest place to watch a football game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, hits from the streets. What's his, what's his name? His name is something funny, like Owl. It's Owlshire, but it's not funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in, in How High, I believe he was the character, I Need Money, and when he smiled, his teeth said, I Need Money, like spelled out in his grill.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that was Al. I think it was Al.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] B.E.T. was so hard for so long. It was so sick. Right. 106 in Park had a nice run. Yes. Lamorne was on that. Lamorne Morris, the homie from Woke. He was a host on it. Really? Yeaah. He said he was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was his name? I can't remember. Damn, he was sick. But then I think it was Lamorne, and Lamorne said he was like hosting that shit while he was straight up like sleeping in his car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The way the video starts is him getting out of the limo and then he like is standing there and then all these girls pass him. He's like, first you gotta let me see what it smells like. And they like run their finger past his nose and he's like, okay, you could come in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, what it was is after midnight, BET went into BET uncut and it would play like the gnarliest music videos. So it'd be like, but it was really only like a rotating like 10. It was like Nelly's tip drill. It was what that thing smelled like. It was like this guy named


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Joker the Bell Bales Bond man who was a rapper from Alaska. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, if you're going to go all the way back to those days, I got to say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but it got so much sexier than that. Cause that was right along the same era.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was the same time. No. No. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think she like gives some explanation like my power went out or like I ran out of hot water or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever painted with the colors of the wind? Yeah. Dude. Who wrote that shit? Imagine if you could. Bill Collins probably. Yeah. Always. He was all up in it. And then they had the other one that was like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's the one that really stuck with you. It's problematic. Dude, there was like four songs in the movie. There weren't that many. It was weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just like, what's up with those Disney movies? Were they good? Everybody's asleep, daddy's gonna go watch his Disney movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Sebastian carries that movie if we're being honest. Yeah. Hold up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who's Steve from Full House? He was DJ's boyfriend, and he is the voice of Prince Eric in, uhm. Really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, remember when that shit was go- like hipsters started to wear that shit hella, hella, hella high back? Yes. I feel like Kyle might have rocked it like that a little bit too. If you wanna watch- if you watch a show-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fun, fun dude. Although, cause I don't wanna-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lots of- Yeah, cause V's hat was an actual V shape, but remember when the swoop started where it was just like- remember when you were in like elementary school and you played, um, like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fucking swooping that neck would get. Urban Outfitters, it was crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta tap in with Urban Outfitters. You gotta dance with the girl you brought. You know what I mean? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of my wardrobe onward college was just straight up urban outfitter because that shit will clear. That shit will clear. Like what? For example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All their blanks, all their blank shit, like they just will have like blank flannels or like blank shirt pocket tees or like, it's, okay, so if you guys want to know about- Do you know who else makes blank flannels?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He already wore it. He wore it on like, he wore it on Jimmy Fallon and then like Miley Cyrus took it off his head and put it on and it's, it's a whole move.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you guys could, we actually should post the mock-ups of our Freak Brother characters, because they were very cool. It was like us, freak-sized.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, hey, we're off Gremlins. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wanna know what really reawakened the Christmas spirit in children? Fucking Elf on a Shelf, dude. I feel like this is like a 10 year ago topic, but like Elf on the Shelf goes hard in the fucking paint, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the lie just, it just, it's a spiral. It's a downward spiral.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, alright. Adam, literally anything you see that's a movie is not original. Yeah, it's a book or a comic book or a comic book.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But again, the lie. It's like how many lies can you tell your kid? My mom killed it with that. She said, she said,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She said, Santa brings the gifts we leave him paper to wrap with at the house. And it's like, oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're cancelled. Why did you cry? Don't tell me Winston died. If Winston dies, I cry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's your favorite movie, almost, kinda. That and Bottle Rocket, right? It's, eh, that and Rushmore. Rushmore are my two favorite comedies, right? Okay, yeaah. Yeaah, yeaah. You talk about it a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. Is this- And this is the girl with the glasses? Yeah. Oh, when she takes the glasses off, it's so hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never have. I honestly have never seen a true John Holmes porno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it? Yeah. I just, I remember the cartoon where it was like, your mean one, Mr. Rich. Who was that? Was that James Earl Jones? Or who was singing that? No, wasn't that Wes's name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like a dude with a real true deep ass voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because there is a lot of shit that nowadays doesn't work out. It's like a lot of airline shit that is not the same nowadays. And then phone calls, which are not the same nowadays.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair, have not seen the new one. Have not seen the new one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know. Peacock Rocks, Paramount Plus Rocks, Disney Plus Rocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would say probably Netflix. Netflix has a- Dude, I'm gonna open up a can of worms. Fucking Disney Plus is the thing I watch the most because it's dropped Star Wars. It did the Beatles documentary which I had to tune in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Find out what the guys were chuckling about right before the show started. Hey, ten dollars. Follow us on...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys want to start with a G, a G rated subject that I need your guys help with? Yeah, yeah, sure. It's a real hot button topic. It's very important. Is it charged or what are we thinking?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a late call today, uh, so I ended up going out for a little. It's a call time. It's a call time. It's a call time. So I got to have a nice little sit down breakfast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I ordered myself, uh, avocado toast, which I'm a huge fan of. You're a young millennial girl. Hipster with the toast! I've got some avocado toast stuff I'd like to talk about as well, but basically what threw me for a loop


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is, is, so the waiter asked me, uh, how would you like your eggs? Okay? Uh huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I panicked, fellas, because I only know one way to cook an egg. What? Did you say scrambled?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said scramble! Oh boy. Avocado toast? I-I need help, guys. How do you remember egg styles?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm resourceful, bitch. I'm the vulture of the crew, dude. Clean up the crew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I apologize for an early apology for eating any food of yours that you guys didn't want, but if you were gonna throw it away, me eating it is kind to the environment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, if it's your cup of tea, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I was just upset because usually, uh, avocado toast is like around $14 and you never know what you're gonna get. You could get a pre-packaged, like kind of a guacamole on top. Sometimes you get freshly sliced avocado with tomato. It's just, it really frustrates me, guys. What can I say? Hot button topic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, what, like what, what, what do you want me to get, eggs benedict or something? Yeah, sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's also considered fondue. Kyle, I used to have like fondue for my birthday every year and there's several versions of fondue. One is like you cook your meat in a fondue pot. There's also...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, it was in my, in my youth. It wasn't like an old, I found out that cooking my food instead of just eating it and having it delivered to me, I do prefer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Korean barbecue is out of this world delicious. Fajitas are insanely good. Fondue is kinda meh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, eh, to be honest, back in my college days, I would eat two Chipotle burritos like a fucking madman.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I mean look at the rock. Oh yea. You get kinda shoehorned into it by your, by your, your familia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was doing this shtick called the blue- And did he die?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, he died during an event. They had to cut away cameras. He was, he was, he was doing the shtick as this guy called the blue blazer and his whole thing was that he would fly in from the rafters. He hated the shtick. It was like mega corny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They weren't like giving him, cause Owen was like an insane wrestler and like a great villain and shit, but they were kind of like making them all goofy and corny and he ended up, the fucking rope snapped, he fucking fell the ring and died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was, he like, he was kind of basically on his way out. He said like, let me get like one last match with Shawn Michaels, the Heartbreak Kid. They had like a legendary feud and, but Brett was supposed to like win the match before he left. But like, I guess like Vince or somebody backstage was like, yo, Shawn, you got it. We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna make him tap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna interview any kid that's ever won a Global Guts trophy and be like, where is the trophy now and where are you? Because I feel like I've seen-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I've seen the aggro crag for sale on eBay, and I'm like, who gave it up? Was it Wild Mike? Like come on. Right. Who's Wild Mike?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just say, wear, uh, just wear a plain old Duke hat. Like, you don't have to, you don't have to do that. Unless they're like, advocating for like, hey, like, check back in, see what happened with that case. Like, these people were wrongly accused. It was like, a terrible thing, but I'm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are we taking, like, are these Olympics actually gonna happen, or do you think they're gonna get cancelled? Ders, I know you've got Olympic fever, or do you not? Are you kinda, what's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like what about the layer of like, I was seeing like 80% of like people who like are currently living in Japan are like, we don't think we should have the games here. They're kind of like, ehm, let's do it another year or whatever or push this shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There we go. Let's get real. Guys, we're so charged. This is important. Yeah, it feels like we're like really having mature conversations today and I like that about us. But the fans won't come.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that was a little different, but what about your boy? Who's the guy who's all like, Gia? What was that guy's name? Oh, Ryan Lochte? Party animal? Yea, remember his whole saga?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember his whole saga where he was like in Brazil partying and like they had him like on videos?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Yeah, no, uh, the Golden Goggles, it's like, there's no other awards other than swimming awards at the Golden Goggles. Right. It's the U.S. Does it go into lacrosse? Does it go in? Sorry, like. He's got lacrosse on the brain. Water polo, water polo. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, it's not all water sports like synchronized swimming, it's just purely racing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, which even with you saying like swimmers to get dolled up, cause yeah, like everybody's gotta wear those dumb caps. Like you want to see their actual hair. Like I do. You're like, damn, they all have really good bodies, but what's the hair situation? What's under the caps?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What we're gonna do is we're gonna make like just bets on anything going throughout the three slash four days. And if you lose that bet, you have to take an article of clothing off and never put it back on again. What? Is that what you're saying? Ever again? Ever? Like so if-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sure, and then Hot Pockets, I like to eat those as well. Those are delicious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, I'll shout out a very specific fajita right now. Don Cucco's shrimp fajitas are so fire if you're in the LA area. My goodness gracious. That is, that's some good damn eatin'. Don Cucco's rocks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a form of art and Kyle is mastering it and we're watching it in real time. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, was that the house you had where you, uhm, had a room specifically made for your BB gun? Like a little rifle range? Is that the same one?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was still people like stepping on nails, you just didn't have Daniel Stern going


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope there are. I hope there are. There's a couple I'm hoping to get.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, awesome. Thank you so much for that. I appreciate that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well while uh, Kyle is trying to muster something up. Brew one up. I would like to compliment Adam, my brother in fajitas. I'm so glad that I had somebody here to have fajitas back with me because they are legit the top three item on a Mexican food restaurant. Come on. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, that is, that is, that is him. No Farts Kyle? Okay, well, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you just say dude? I ordered and ate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When was the last time you guys really pulled up and watched Philadelphia? Watching porno like underneath the table at the dinner table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, sorry, she's his baby mama. Oh, the kids with Britney? They have shared custody. Uh, it's such a- Shared cust- custody. Kyle, as my friend who is Kevin Federline, you gotta tap in with this story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He used to wear his hat cocked to the side, very large pants. He dressed exactly like Cavehead in high school. He worshipped Cavehead. The whole reason-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Adam, do you follow Britney Spears on Instagram? Because it is a great follow. She is awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is he have a book on how to raise children? I think he's got a, hopefully he has a Netflix show coming out, that would be amazing. Fatherhood with K-Fed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he did claim it's going to be a white boy summer, and at the time it did feel a little weird and sensitive, like a weird thing. But here's what I love about Chet, is he kept being himself. He never, like, he doesn't come off as false to me. He's just being Chet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I think people respect it when you- Chet, Chet's being Chet. What's your definition of false? Like, like, it didn't seem like he was coming with like a weird motive, like, it just feels like he's just being him, like- He's having fun, he's having a good time. He's doing like, uh, uh, um, uh, shit, what is it called? Like Jamaican accent? Yea, but what's it called? It's called like Pa-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he's doing that. And obviously you're not that. You're not that guy, pal. But, it doesn't feel false to me. It feels authentic. I think it comes from a real place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then even a spinoff of that, Super Dave had a cartoon in the 90s that is how I knew about him. It's like Super Dave Osborne had a cartoon on like Fox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yes. You are old as hell. You watch Silver Spoons and Dobie Meyers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, and the whole way we got to even know him in our everyday lives is he's just amazing on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yeah, that was the game changer. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's just the community. Was it both HBO when it was going curb, like back to back with Olly G? Like that shit was the funniest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it really was such a certain time frame. Cause I truly did just get TiVo. Like TiVo was the hot new shit. You could record television without having- would sound like such a fucking geezer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was no VCR shit, you just could- What was super sick is you could-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what was super sick about TiVo is you could search out an actor and they would give you everything they were in. So I would put in random ass names like John Claude and then you'd be like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So then all of a sudden it would be like, oh, I didn't even know that dude was on that. It was like I put in Hulk Hogan and all of a sudden it's like- Just random, random actors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the whole storyline of Hulk Hogan being on, uh, Walker Texas Ranger is like he used to be like in a biker gang. Right. But he was starting to go around and teach kids that like being in gangs weren't cool. And Chuck Norris says, show them your tattoo, boomer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The wildest one. Or no, I'm thinking of, I'm thinking of Quantum Leap. No, yes, it's from Quantum Leap. Where he looks in the mirror and he goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, DaBaby was on, uh, what was the shit that was out here in Miami? This is real topical shit, guys. Yes. What are you talking about? Yeah, you set the table. Go ahead. So, DaBaby was at- DaBaby. What the fucking festival? What fucking festival is in Miami? Doesn't matter. A festival.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rolling loud, rolling loud, rolling loud. And he like got on stage and before he played the track he's like...


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[Assistant] Yo, if, if you're, if you're like out in the parking lot sucking dick, don't put your lighters up. If you have any disease like AIDS that will kill you in two to three weeks, don't put your lighters up. It was like, what are you, what the fuck are you talking about?


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[Assistant] I just can't believe, yeah, it's just a weird thing in today's day and age to be like still uninformed on HIV and AIDS. Like what are you doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It writes itself, Adam, you're welcome. But really though, when was the last time you guys really pulled up and watched Philadelphia? Cause that was the movie when I was a kid, when it was like, yo, this is the AIDS movie right here, and that shit was good as fuck. Well yeah, that was the- Yeah, it's still the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Philadelphia, always Sonny in Philadelphia? No, no, no, no, no, no. The movie. Fidelielphia. The uh, the uh, the Oscar winning, right? They won Oscars for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think they're in the same universe, it's like a Marvel universe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I made a point to watch it, because I, like later on, I was like this is-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which was also a very poignant story about, uh, having HIV. And it's, uh, it's also a, it's also a play. Like that's how it really came up. It was like, it was like a pretty well renowned, known play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, like, dinnertime was absolutely such a thing with my family. It was awesome. It is super important. It's the one time of the day you are forced to be with each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adam, it's like your stand-up set. It's like, I could laugh. That's funny. That's funny. Well then, just laugh. If it's funny, laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's what I do. I do this to myself all the time. Like, what would I look like with a- But I feel like if my hair was this short, it wouldn't like, wave like that. It would be more of an afro. Lay. It wouldn't lay the same way. And we'll never know. Yeaah, cause I would love to be this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wow. Hoop? Hooping? I only remember, uh, hanging with Mr. Cooper. Yea, hanging with Mr. Cooper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We did a sketch live with Jillian at uhm, what was that place called? Westside Eclectic or whatever? Sure, uh huh, yes. We did a hang time sketch. Oh yeah, what was that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Yeah, because what were those things? I feel like they were called hang time where like it would be those on like PBS or whatever where it would be kids like sitting around talking about like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just be kids like asking about like the political process and all that and I, I, I wanted to say it was called hang time. But maybe it wasn't. Yeah, I can believe that. It was for sure an after school special and it was just kids sitting around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It might have been during summer. Remember summer?


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[Assistant] Show up in whatever regalia you want, I might be in a suit, who knows. With sunglasses, with Ray-Bans. Hey, the difference between me and you is, I make this shit look good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you like COVID? Yeah, I like COVID.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dang, I really remember like putting something in my mind like, yo, I need to apologize that, but I've completely forgot. I'm, uh...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you're not allowed to talk about it? No, but I am wrapped, I'm leaving on Tuesday, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Other than whatever happened with the production, it was a very fun time in Atlanta and I would love to come


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, cut his dick off again, you fool! I just accidentally chored him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love. Wait, how does that track though? Rodney Dangerfield was like, look, I'll make you a star on this girls soccer team, and that's how I'm going to get your approval? I want to say maybe it's John


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, big ups for doing that, bro. Good job, man. No, it was cool. You followed through?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is uh, is Jackie B the last, Jackie B's the last, uh, the last guest, right? Is that right? Jackie Joyner. Jackie Black.


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[Assistant] I might post something. I might post something. Then we brought it back around and made it about us, so like then we did it.


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[Assistant] I-I-I-I just reach a point where I miss enough of it and I don't want to go do the fucking homework. So I just don't do it. I just don't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rust to Riches I think is one of them that I dig. Rust to Riches. Rust to Riches. What was the other one that I watched a ton of? It had this, their flowers, go to Rust to Riches, good job on the cars. Uh, I can't remember the other one, the other one's tight, but I'll remember it. Top Gear?


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[Assistant] No, I think it starts as like the counterculture and then it goes into it's too much work. It's too much homework. You miss it, and then it's like fucking aid, man. I have to watch six seasons of hour long episodes with all these characters and names and shit. That's homework. That's real work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You took that from me, bro. Yeah, all I said I didn't want it, but you took it from me.


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[Assistant] Much like you when you were reading that book, Blake.


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[Assistant] Yeah, did you see the one with Mark Duplass and Ray Romano? Did you guys see that one? Super Indie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's on Netflix. I can't remember the title of it though, but it is very, uhm, it's like those emotion- it's just emotional. You cry. They make you cry. And it feels good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was a staple in all their, even in Hot Rod, he's the dude who's just dancing all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dan Harmon created? Yeah, Dan Harmon. I think Shrob too. And Jack Black?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well that, I forgot all about channel 101. That was like a forum that you would go and screen your, your short film. We win a few times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yup, yup, it was profound. That was profound. That shit's important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm almost positive I was, I was made from a rage bang.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, cause they're scary looking. Like I know specifically the guy you're talking about, there's that one dude who looks like, like a cryptkeeper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, remember he was like a psychedelic bro, he was like, so, like when you're going into that world, you really want somebody who acts like they've been there several times in your life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean- Well, to be fair, anything I've ever experienced, that's- I've robbed myself of, like, pure, like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So didn't we get a Heidecker and Woods song?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, well cuz now, well maybe they did too. You gotta treasure it. But now Hidecker's on his, on his like serious shit. That's what I'm asking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He did acid and he was never the same. Blackout drunk and we never saw him again. He fell off the deep end. That's right, cause Durz's whole storyline was like that, he wanted to fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought he kinda got busted for that movie, because he was like, I don't know, they were starting-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were you a, just like the, I have a binder kit and that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well, hey, I will apologize to Anders for assuming he was a roller-back guy. I don't know what got into me. I don't care. I don't- you just- hey, assume away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, keep Clash Market Clash. They only have three performances, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's more Grateful Dead swag. I've really gone all in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, there's the dog, right? The dog, of course. There's the children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just part of a prank. I love you. This is fucking crazy. Just get in the bag. I love you. It's a prank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. It's me. It's Doug. Uh, Chip wanted me to come over here and steal you. We're gonna get married tomorrow. It's gonna be crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Percival, grab that corpse as Lancelot cannonballs onto its stomach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you? Were you concerned with the, with the, with the delta? You wanna talk sickness for a quickness?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. It's not- is it- are they like Bible verses undercover? Or is it just like- Nooo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That shit just hit the back of my mind. I feel like they made one that was like chicken soup for the teenage soul. Yup. I feel like my church was like, you gotta get this, brother.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it a collection of essays? What the fu- I cannot remember. I definitely had the book. I did not open it. Ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it was basically like where the sidewalk ends, but like with a Christian undertone or something like, was it poems? What?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There ain't no cowboy. Thank you. Put the, put the O back in country. Have you ever heard that term okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well also, sorry, my, my, my sister and her husband are, are super down for country and like one of my dreams was to pull up to that stagecoach festival. It's like basically, it's in the exact same place as Coachella, but it's fully countryed out. Sounds like it could be hit or miss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, so not to mention country is the one type of music where you drop an album, you still cash the fuck out. They buy your shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, that's my fucking jam right there. Florida Georgia line, let's go!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about this one? What about this one? Hold on. Let's see. Oh, it's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there was definitely a little bit of a run with that. I'm sure David Banner's on a track with somebody. Alan Jackson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good for you guys. Sharing brotherhood in Christ. Good for you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's get Leather Vest Made. Yeaah. What's our gang name though?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which by the way, Jers, you say three hour podcasts, but some of these podcasts I've been listening to are like four hours long. Motherfucker says go, go, go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That must be female, or it could be male, but somebody, oh god, this is just disturbing to recount.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, jumps on the stomach of the corpse and all the guts are supposed to shoot out of the orifice into the person's mouth. That is munging and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Positive bro, that's a, that's a thing. Oh yea, that's a kink.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he's a trumper getting hassled for like, uh, like not wearing a mask and then like he starts snapping back like fucking like make me or whatever. He's like, you're not that guy. Cause on his way out, he's like, go, go, uh, vote for Biden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's the thing. No, but that's the thing. When you got the vaccine, they said you can still get sick. It's just that it's not as severe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ders, did you get your, uh, your bike yet? The, from, I'm just thinking when I got my vaccine, was the day we went for a huge mountain bike to have you go to the bike. Uh, for Specialized? Specialized, where you at, dog? I need that bike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which leads to my apology, Kyle. I am so sorry that I, I tried to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have merch. It did kind of get buried by other headlines, which is unfortunate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A hoodie. It's so comfortable. It's, it's like, uhm, it's the most comfortable. It's soft on the inside. I love how soft it is. Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, people can just, uh, follow at PodImportant on Instagram and get all the information there because I know you're not getting it here, baby. There's a cool dad hat, you know? It's the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that what it is? Like a, like a poor, a poor boy cap, uh? Oh, it was a paper. Like a newsie? He's a paper boy. Yeah, like a, like a newsies, yeah. In the winter he wore that. Oh, that's it, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A kangle, right? That's not like the backwards kangle look. Essentially, it's kinda kangly, but it doesn't have the shape. It's not firm like a kangle. It's got like a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this a Wurlitzer? What are we talking here? Santa Fe!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Wow. Awesome. That's fucking tight. Wait, so it's playing... Wait, so where's the sound coming from? The sound is coming from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's not operational, but the music's coming through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of uhm, jukeboxes, like you get, you remember, I don't know who was there, two of you guys were there, maybe Kyle wasn't, but we got pretty drunk one night in Los Feliz.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And went to a bar and put on like an hour's worth of drinks?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hooters, Hooters stretches a little far. It's not really that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bro, I ate Chipotle two days ago, man, and it was- I love Chipotle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta do one of those things where you take the picture every day so we can just watch you metamorphosize.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like when, uh, they show like, uh, buildings getting built, we just see your face exploding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that fox getting eaten by the maggots, but it's you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember. Oh. That classic time lapse of like the maggots eating the fox. Time lapse is pretty underrated. You guys don't see that when you close your eyes? Whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes they are. Thank you, Blake. Anything that plays with time, filming, to me is still just unfucking believable. Like slow motion, the fact that we can see slow motion. Like time, like you talk in time travel movies? Yeah, fuck that. It's kinda time travel, because it's capturing moments and slowing them down in ways that you're like, oh I, you, the naked eye doesn't see that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when they pop a water balloon and it like is still there for a moment? I love that shit. I love that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone out there's, everyone out there's like, yes, it's slo-mo, and we're just like, no, like. Mmhm, slo-mo. It is so fucking cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna know what happens right after that. He goes, thank you God! And she's like, hey, I was just in this horrible accident.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are your parents here? Can I get out of this room? And he's like, wait, but God sent you. And they're super Christian and then the parents are downstairs like, you are a gift from God. And it turns into some weird fucking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I should call universal, whoever owns that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got a picture somewhere. Oh, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he had a dungeon with 18 doors and you're like, yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you'd build six doors, you're probably good, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To be fair, it's comedy and who fucking cares.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you're not like a, you don't have maniac, uh, like tolerance like you used to. Yeah, for sure. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do want to. Responsible father. And now everyone knows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. I like- I tasted the ca- the can-can, is that what it's called? Can, yea. Can. I- I didn't know how to open it. It's kind of a new opening, but it- I like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many do you need to get fucking a little something happening?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I took two gummies the other night and got crocked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that right for a gummy 30? Oh, that's, that's big. Cause those cans are just too- Or maybe I had two 15ers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's such a trip. And you, I think you even take it in on your tongue, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't you also have to do it where it's non-alcoholic and non-anything also?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so the hypothesis was going to be that people were going to like the way they felt better with the weed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was going to be. Although I do like the challenge sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here, here, do you guys think that there's some like, and this is probably stupid, but do you think that there's, you will be missing the like, hangover camaraderie that you feel the next day when you're like, dude, I'm fucking ham, like no, I'm, like where you're just like, you're dragging ass.


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[Assistant] I don't think I've laughed harder than just like with my eyes closed still on the couch or like in a hotel room with like seven other dudes where like no one can move but people are just like shouting shit from across the room and like recalling stuff last night and you're catatonic.


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[Assistant] And so old looking. I gotta go back to a reunion and just see some people sizing them up.


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[Assistant] I just don't know what, what like this, like is this just like, you're so drunk that you can finally like... Have an emotion? Let loose? Like shed it?


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[Assistant] I heard five doors. Five's acceptable. Wait, so you cried because you broke up with a girl or whatever?


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[Assistant] Or got, you got, you got discs publicly, for sure, yeaah.


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[Assistant] Like people's houses? Sure. Rob anybody for alcohol? You'd go to a house party and like, oh no.


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[Assistant] Uh huh, this guy must be old the way he's talking about the weather.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you would hand them the whole wallet. I remember people told me to do that and I was like...


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[Assistant] Everybody at our school had a Vermont ID that my homie was making, and it like, it got passed down through the generations, and my name on it was Gunner Torfenson. That's the hardest


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[Assistant] And then he made up fake college IDs to go with it, so if they were like second form...


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[Assistant] Let me, uh, help you up on the fence a little bit. Here, I'm just gonna lift you up. I'm an intuitive actor. I know, I knew what he wanted behind that lens. Oh god. Damn. What a racket. And then you spend $500 on like, a thousand prints or whatever, and then they're gone?


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[Assistant] I worked at the place where you would get photos taken and then you would come to the place I worked and we would print it up and we would like do touch ups and we would pick like the border and the font for your name and stuff. It was a rad job. I got it through, uh, Annie, um, Annie from Lemmings. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I'm sure that they have to have something, but it's all digital now. I think Argentum, the place I worked, Argentum, shout out. They were like transitioning at this time because the dude who ran it was like super smart about like staying ahead of the curve and shit. Cause he knew he was like, this is going to be obsolete.


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[Assistant] He was there. I caught his eyes. I was like, damn, that looks like a bass. Oh my God. Lance. And he turned around and it was a Lance. Top of the hill, like sick crib.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he paid like a gang of money to go into outer space as like a traveler. That's so sick. And he went to space? He's the first one? I think he just booked the ticket. I don't know.


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[Assistant] 10 grand I guess I'd pay? Woah, really? 10 grand?


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[Assistant] Right, it's all you can, I guess you're- All inclusive.


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[Assistant] That was the, that was the bad parents kids. We didn't have that shit at all. We had Just Write and Basic Four and Cracklin' Opram. Period. Yeah, oh wow, you had no sugar.


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[Assistant] Like if we're on the road, we would hit McDonald's and shit, but like, we just didn't have it. For sure. And I remember going...


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[Assistant] Shredded Mini Wheat sometimes? That was it. Yeaah, we could have that too.


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[Assistant] This is gonna be like, Adam's butt thing, alright. Uhm, Kyle, do you wanna go? Do you have one? I'm still kinda pondering. What do you mean, the pinnacle of our podcast?


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[Assistant] I fuck with some Cocoa Krispies. Cocoa Krispies, like, the munching, like, it doesn't, it just, I like it. And then the chocolate milk afterwards, gimme gimme.


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[Assistant] That's so tight, dude. Who are- Who do you think you are? Out of the- Just based on the name, cause I don't know what they look like.


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[Assistant] Dude, if we get all the general mills or whoever the fuck these ones are, like mascots in the mix, that's the big get. Yeah, you gotta get the whole post posse. Oh, for sure. The toucan, the toucan's like, we're looking for him and he's like, follow your nose and we're like,


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[Assistant] It's gonna be like Steph and, it's gonna be like Steph Curry when they went to Nike and they were like, hi Stefan, and he was like, I'm out. If we go in there and we say we want to make a movie for General Meals, we're fucked Adam. And that's real.


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[Assistant] Adam, the thing you're talking about, the movies that like, were like a moment in time that like held up, and if you watch them again now, you're like, fuck yes they're great, but,


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[Assistant] But here's the trippy part. There's a version for television where when they get to the pirate ship in the water and they're kind of like wading over to it, a sea serpent attacks them. And that's not in the original movie, but they added it.


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[Assistant] The opening hole sequence is amazing. There's bullet holes the size of matzo balls.


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[Assistant] Here's the thing, here's the whole, the whole deal. Uh, Rookie of the Year is a movie that you should see about a kid baseball player who breaks his arm and then goes to play for the Cubs and I think they win the World Series.


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[Assistant] Uhm, so I did that, they filmed at our school, did a couple scenes, and then my drama teacher recommended me for this scene.


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[Assistant] And I sat in the fucking bathroom in the winter at Wrigley Field waiting to shoot this scene for...


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[Assistant] I was in the fucking bathroom waiting for a week, cause that's the only place the heat was on at Wrigley Field. And, uh,


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[Assistant] I was like, it was a scene, it was this, that, and the other. And he goes, yeah, we had to fucking cut it. What's up? And I was like, he just fucking checked me on my own show.


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[Assistant] Yo, you have to get that same glove signed by like, G Love and Special Sauce. Or Donald Glover. Donald Glover, yea.


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[Assistant] So you were working, I mean I'm not like saying this as a joke, you were working with Jack Nicholson, like you saw Jack Nicholson when you were just a fucking teenager.


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[Assistant] He did four takes. No, just bring up those bottles from the basement.


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[Assistant] I like that story. Wait, did you guys all, did you guys all do theater in high school? Oh yea bruh.


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[Assistant] I think, you know, I think you guys were there when I found this out, but you were talking about the like, cool theater teacher and all that. We had this fuckin' dope theater guy, too, who got like, busted for some shit. Oh, really?


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[Assistant] Pulled out his badge. Can you imagine being that cop and be like, alright, uh, Sanderson, tonight you're on duty. Okay, what are we doing? We bustin' some- You're gonna be trying to get a guy to suck your dick tonight. And here's the catch, it's in the park.


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[Assistant] You proved my point, which I appreciate, thank you for that, because I said people who didn't really watch it growing up watch it now and they're just like, this movie fucking sucks. So it does suck. No. People who didn't watch it growing up.


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[Assistant] What do you prefer? Cause sometimes I find it so...


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[Assistant] Then have them send them to me, cause I got multiple people from my family being like, this is the thing.


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[Assistant] I'm not slamming to slam, I'm just keeping it real. No, cans are dope.


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[Assistant] Adam, I would love to go on a friendship vacation. Honestly, Mexico is kind of my retirement plan. I'm trying to be a Mexican, brother.


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[Assistant] Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's not bury the headline. What was up with them dick pills? They do have that.


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[Assistant] Baby, I already said it on the pod, we have to do it. We have to do it there.


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[Assistant] If you were more in your prime in the 80s, you would be coke to the wall. Yeah!


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[Assistant] You should do some micro dosing of shrooms, I think that might, that might do you.


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[Assistant] Fuck, what are we gonna do, bro? You're, like, should we... Paintball.


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[Assistant] Kyle, you gotta be careful with your leaks, bro. We know. Off-pod, we know what's going down.


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[Assistant] So Kyle, you're 14 days in the box, you know, I personally, I have set a new personal low. I just dumped a motherfucking 3000 piece puzzle over at my house. So what are you doing to kill the time?


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[Assistant] You know, and if I could just take a little time to talk to our listeners about jigsaw puzzles, I know it's a hot topic out there.


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[Assistant] Hell yeaah. I've done about 12,000 piece puzzles in the quarantine, but this is my first time ever dumping out a 3000 piece puzzle. That's amazing.


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[Assistant] Well, what sucks about, uh, a 3000 piece puzzle is if you really don't like the image, it's, it's basically torture. So right now I just, I don't even have a kitchen, cause there's just puzzle pieces everywhere. It's, it's bad.


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[Assistant] The thousand? That'll take me about two to three weeks, probably.


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[Assistant] I did grow up in a puzzling family, which also brought me to ask you guys a question. What up? Did you grow up on, and this might be some like, oaky stuff, did you guys ever grow up with


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[Assistant] Puzzles glued together as a piece of art in your house.