[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just on the very edge of clower. Like I didn't get the full clower experience growing up. I had to be told by other people and look it up or go, you know, someone handed me a tape and I listened to it that way. I didn't, he wasn't around. So, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have, uh, my son's son is 24. Okay. Yeah. And then my stepson's 22 and I have a stepdaughter is 18. But yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the joke I was trying to, it was like I just had a kid. Oh, okay. Fantastic. Not kids.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's one of the reasons we got married on April 15th because it's tax day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You shut your eyes and take a nap and you never see them looking at you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had this happen. I was getting on a plane. I try to be the last guy on the plane if I don't have a carry on bag. Cause I don't have to worry about bin space. I've just got my backpack and that seat in front of me and I don't have to stand in line as long. I like to be the last guy. And so I was the last guy on the flight and my seat, uh, was a aisle seat. I walked right to it. There was a guy whose jacket was in there and I was like, um, that's my seat. He goes, Oh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, do you mind switching seats with my son? He's, he's up there like two rows up. I go, oh, uh, does he have an aisle seat?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was, he had another son on, uh, next to him. So him and his other son had the middle and the window. I said to him, if you can somehow finagle away for someone to switch and to where I get an aisle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The kid, this kid on the left and the window was probably 10.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is offered by the airline and they know they have children in there that maybe they would clean it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the children and now that's making you look like the bad guy for choosing something that they offered and now you have to be worried about it. They put it on you. I don't like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what, yeah, tapping or some sort of countdown.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over time, you just, the more you do anything, the better you get and you figure things out and, and confidence comes with that. And then, um, I think it's when I started out, I didn't know what I was doing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's still debatable. I would just write a bunch of stuff, try to memorize it like it was a script and then go up there and do it verbatim. And then over time I whittled it down and now it's like, I don't even do that. I'll just say, I'll have an idea, jot something down in my notes and then take it to the stage and see how it comes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to, um, qualify who I am exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that question regarding stand-up comedy or just being funny in a movie? Like are they saying like? I think stand-up comedy. Okay. Does that, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he is just an actor and he would come to the comedy store with me and, and, uh, he tried it a couple of times. He's like, there's no way I cannot do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, as a total different thing, you know, and as actors, if you're in something, you kind of getting the parts, the hardest part. And then once you got it and you do a decent job, it's kind of easy. There's caterers there and everyone's kissing your butt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's a whole different, you don't have to write anything. You just have to read the words that someone gave you. Stand up is all of that without the catering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and watch other comedians pay a ticket, go in there as an audience member and learn from just watching.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It can only benefit you. It's so good. I love improv.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you do any of it on, I mean we all kind of do it on stage here and there in between jokes I'm sure, but do you give yourself a section in your


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Act of like, okay, here's a five minute chunk where I'm just going to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're great at the check drop. Me? Yea, you're great at check drop. Well that's what, that's kinda how I learned to improv. Oh yea. Because I know they're not listening to what I'm saying. I'm not gonna waste.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, my material on someone who's not even listening. So in those moments I've.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Decided to improv and just go with whatever's happening. I'll look at someone's table and go, Oh, what were you drinking? And then just get into it and wait for it to end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then if I could remember where I was, that's good. Sometimes I don't, but. I always remember you having good checks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I made this, uh, uh, like a PSA, like, uh, you know, the Sarah McLaughlin to save dogs or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I made it about, uh, helping a poor waiter or waitress. For only a dollar a day, you could help, and I'd have like these waiters in the video like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For any comedian who already has a podcast with sponsors.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why not do it right then? Just to see who's paying attention. Cause a lot of them are not. When that check is coming out, they all huddle up like, did you change your fingers?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't like that. I've had two people ask me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To go in front of me to a guest spot where I've said, yes, if.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm like, what am I going to get out of this? Yeah. What can you give me? I'm going to give you that five minutes. What am I going to get? I looked at one guys. I looked up his Instagram. He had a lot more followers than me. Like, yeah, just mention me on Instagram and you can get five minutes. Didn't do it. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm not talking to that guy. How were his five minutes? He didn't, I didn't give him the five minutes. Oh, okay. I love that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he never replied back to it. It was a text. He goes, Hey dude, I see you're going to be in this town. I'm going to be in that town. I'd love to come up and do a guest set. Would that be cool? And I'm like, and I liked the kid. I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, but what can I get? You know, so I was like, yeah, uh, and in return, if you can just, uh, give me a shout out on your Instagram. Never replied, never showed up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish I could. Nate's popping them out. How many has he got out now? Like. But he, even Nate's every couple of years. Right. And he's the best. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overall, I think that happens. There are certain people like Nate who can pull it off. You know, but you gotta be really good. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, higher ups. Definitely. I don't think she was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad's friend, Sunday school class, everyone would show up at Shawnees for the breakfast buffet. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bob's big boy. Cause they had the same fat kid. I think Bob's. So Shoney's ripped off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's call a big boy out here. Why do we need Shoney? I'm just curious why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Yeah. Okay. So I went to North Carolina State University.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the reason why this started though was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My whole life walking around the state of North Carolina, if I'm wearing an NC state hat or a shirt, the school that I went to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because Carolina is the number one. Everyone loves Carolina. You know, like every state has a college that the majority of those people in that state root for and it's the Tar Heels in North Carolina.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So if I'm walking around with the NC State hat on, at some point someone will go, boo, Wolfpack, y'all suck. You should be rooting for the Tar Heels. And it just over time, got on my nerves.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it always happens. And then my, my response is like, oh, you must like Carolina. When did you graduate there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, for example, if you look at, you may just walk, walk these. I'd love to just walk through it. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't have to have graduated from there, but you did have to go there, pay tuition at some point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Playoff exemption, one is allowed to root for other universities outside of their university only if their university has been eliminated from the playoffs or championship rounds, for example.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't have you walking around with a NC State hat on if you didn't go there acting like you graduated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that's, and that's acceptable in these rules because you're just cheering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So rule number two, uh, jurisdiction and territory. This comes in for you. If you are from a state that does not have a professional team, Alabama doesn't have an NFL team, doesn't have an NBA team. You're allowed to root for any college you want because you don't have a choice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that goes for other states that don't have teams, you know. Uh, number three, if you didn't go to college, this is what your deal is. If you didn't go to any college, university, it's preferred that you root for a professional team in the state in which you reside. However,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you simply must root for a university or college team. It is forbidden in partaking and any kind of bragging, trash talking, uh, also one can only wear team gear within a 24 hour grace period of any given game, otherwise it is stolen valor. One must knoweth thy role and stayeth within thy lane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think what people are getting confused here is rooting is fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, now I do have, uh, exemptions and exceptions, right? So if you're a booster of any kind, so this might be, this might be you, I don't know. Uh, you know what boosters are?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. If you help out, you know, if you're a member of the band or a cheerleader or you, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rule number four is pronoun usage. That's just what we talked about saying we. Uh, article five, age requirements. I like this. Anyone under the age of 18 is allowed to root for any team of their choosing because they still have the potential to one day attend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is allowed to root for any team he wants up until the age of 18. Then when he eventually graduates high school, applies to UNC and gets rejected, he must now rethink his life and revisit rule number one and or two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, uh, military, I put this in here, uh, not long ago. If you were in the military, you could do whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also have a hierarchy. Yeah, we have that too. Okay good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you click on the uh, classification.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I wrote what I wanted to say and said, make it sound smart. Oh, was it really? Yeah. No, but I wrote the rules.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I gotta be honest, I'm surprised how into AI you are. I love AI. I have a podcast called AI Absolute Ignorance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where we troll AI. I ask it if it can write a joke. I use it all kinds of stuff. Okay. But here we go. Uh, the top, the, the highest rank you can be as a fan, platinum elite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is any and all athletes and coaching staff of a team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're it. That's the biggest, that's the highest you can be. You're on the team. It's your sport. It's what you're doing. No one ranks above that right below that platinum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is the immediate family, including step family who live within the same domicile.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, of any and all athletes, coaching staff, blah, blah, blah. So platen, uh, tier, below platen elite, that's the family pretty much. Diamond tier?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] College. That's the students. Because at the end of the day, what is a college? It's an institution for higher learning. Without those students.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so you, uh, you, you think maybe platinum should be the students and diamond should be the immediate thing. Yeah. Switch those two. Okay. Okay. That does make sense to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then we have to have different types of platinum elites, right? Or it's going to be more ranks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're saying a guy who graduated two years ago ranked a little bit less.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, I think yeah, that's a good point. I mean, with the platinum elite, I think there should be some levels within that of current players, alumni players, and that's it. All right. So diamond, we're going to maybe move up. Cause if you're.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're still, your value is still there. You were, you were there. You did some stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I do that as a strategy. Uhm, when I was rooting for NC State, this March Madness, I wasn't, I don't care about basketball. I only care about football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but they started winning. I thought, oh, let me, let me check back into my alma mater, see how they're doing. As a, as a gold level, I'm allowed to do that. Okay. All right. You know, uh, I started watching it and I was like, oh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would notice that when I'm watching it, they would start losing. I'm like, okay, this is not good. They were winning when I wasn't watching it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So now I got to either turn the channel. So I do things to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I will, I'll say things like I'll group text my friends, like Carolina fans. Yeah. You got this one guys. Probably going to win by 30 points. You know, uh, DJ is going to foul out in the third quarter. You got this one. I put it out there to jinx them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, now when it's professional sports, I'm more apt to say I'm more free with the usage of we, because it's not a university.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So everyone in North Carolina was either cowboys or redskins. Washington was closer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We didn't have a lot of Falcons fans growing up. A lot of Washington fans. So that being said, I remember I was a fan of the 49ers because of Joe Montana. I liked Joe Montana. I liked Ronnie Lott. I liked all those guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the back of my brain, I always had this deal with myself. If we ever get a team, I'm switching because I want, I want us to have a team and we finally got one. And then you went down there and got arrested. That's right. That's how she wrote it. They never let me back in there. Long story short, go 49.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait a second, so professional sports, anything you want. You can wear it anytime you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is the Carolina Reaper something? That's my new podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Carolina Reaper, uh, uh, once called it country-ish. We changed the name to Carolina Reaper. Does that come from somewhere or is that where I know it from? It's a pepper, right? It's a pepper as well. Okay. Yeah. It's a hot pepper, but they spell it R-E-A-P-E-R, like the grin reaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll just use my name. Just a name thing. Carolina Reaper. Did it just hit you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, why haven't I been doing this? Kind of. My, my buddy Alan Jackson is when it brought it up to me. He's like, that's right. The Alan Jackson we call him to make it more confusing for people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, but he, uh, he's, he suggested that cause country ish. I thought I, when I.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Named it that to begin with, I kinda like the title.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I'm just gonna be me and call it Carolina Reaper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. You do too though. I'm okay with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In a Columbia, Missouri called Deja Vu back in the day, I was doing that club and a phone went off and I'm like, all right, it's one ring. I'll let it go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a cell phone. I'm like, all right, somebody's got to get that. And it kept ringing and it kept ringing. And I was saying things from the stage. Well, you're not going to get it. Somebody get it finally. And I got mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I said, if you don't answer it, I'm coming out there. And I had a wireless mic. So I walked off the stage and I kept waiting for it and I found it. It was in my jacket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I also don't like it when people sing along too loud to the song.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if it's a favorite song, you're like, Oh, I love this one. And you sing along, but don't like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm going to be at the Ryman tomorrow night. All right. That's Mr. Kid Rock.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It comes out on Wednesday. Got it. Last night was awesome. And, uh, made a new friend. Uh, this coming weekend, the next weekend I'll be in Richmond, Virginia at the funny bone. And then after that I'll be in Myrtle beach, a club called the wonder. It's a new club. It's on my website, johnreap.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Today's episode of the Nightland Podcast is brought to you by Rocket Money Electric E-Bikes, Zoc Dock, and Butcher Box.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks and hey bear, welcome to the Nate Land podcast. I'm Nate Bergetti, Brian Bates, Karen Weber, Dusty Slay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like, you ever write, you ever, when you, you know, when you come up with a new joke and you're like, ah, I needed some time and it's 30 seconds and it's just so, it can be so frustrating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're just, you know, your head, like I think, I don't know if everybody think wonders this, but in your head, you think you're like, I'll just build it five minute chunks at a time. I was like, this is like, I'm gonna come up with four jokes and be, and then you do it and it's 30, it might be 20 seconds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 seconds is a long time when you tell a joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, then that truly, you can have a thing that you think is a minute and if the crowd's not great, I mean, it can become 35, 30 real fast. Cause it's like, well, what does it take you to say those words? And just however long that sentence is, is how long the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's rare for it to work. We had that dead horse thing is the only thing that I had, but that wasn't even really a local thing. I was, I was local, I was saying I was going to that mountain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was like, it was kind of like it destroyed, I had a little bit more stuff that was local.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You talked about? Oh, the homeless people. Yeaah. Yeaah, yeaah, the homeless people. They get, cause Tacoma County Club is, it's all straight up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a hill. So the clubs at the top, the hotels at the bottom. Yeah. All right. Thank you. And so you have to like go up this hill. And I was like, they have a lot of homeless people and I was like, maybe it's not homeless. It's just people that are tired and they go, they go up one thing of the hill and then every street's like another new hill. And they just go, I'm going to live here now in it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because I had to go in, Shills was, uh, in, uh, I had to go buy clothes because my clothes did not make it on the plane or something. And I landed and basically had to go to the show. So, and I had like, you know, golf stuff on. So I went and bought.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stuff, and I went to Shiels to get shoes and, uh. You went to where? Shiels. Shiels? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's that? It's a sporting goods store. You ever seen Nate's comedy? Yea, I opened with him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a very much, you would have a bit about this if you went into, you should go to Shields. Where is Shields? They're, they're in like the Midwest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could go in there and people go in there just to walk around. Like if you're near one, if you're on the road and there's a Shields, you can waste two hours, three hours in just the Shields. It's like a Bucky's, but you know, that same idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you first hear about a Bucky's and you don't know, and then you go and you're like, okay. Shields is like that where you're like, yeah, it's like a Dick's and then you're like, is it? And then you go there and it's something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just you're, yeah, they're, they're tough to be around. Do you drive a whole way?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun but you gotta get, you gotta get, you gotta sit through a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's special. Alright, I appreciate that. I gotta go watch that. Alright. I got through it. I appreciate that. Look at that. The whole thing? Some of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I did, no, no, I did it alone. No, I watched it. It's great. It's great. I've been watching a little more comedy now. I kind of sit and watch it. I kind of, you know, I'll go through specials and just kind of want to see what


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just wanna kinda see what people are doing, you know. See what it looks like. Yeah, yeah. See how it feels. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. More than I ever have. Alright. We had, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a good spring break. We stayed home and we were. This weekend? Yea, this week's spring break. Slacking off. So a lot of, you know, people go somewhere, but we stayed here and, uh, did a lot of stuff. Could have been working though. Harper was busy. Could have been working. I took the time off. I asked for this all. I could work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. No. It really doesn't make sense. Not last, not when you were there. Maybe, was I there when you were there? Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. Mine might have been like a couple weeks ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, I got a plant joke. If you want to hear it $5, I'll tell you in the court. And then you get a group.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Funnest spot to say, yell it out at the beginning when you walk out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he could come back on. That's an act that you could bring back out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you even know, yeah, do you even know what you're doing? Like it's, I can't even make it go up, back up really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It goes down and then I have a pretty hard time to get it back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I bet you get hit in the face a lot with a yo-yo though. Like practicing. How did he get into this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You still gotta, I think when you're number one in the world, people still are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No matter what, no matter what someone is, if, if, if you meet anybody, as someone that has to meet a lot of people like this,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause my dad, there's a lot of like my dad, I'll meet someone. It's like this guy, he knows the number one in the world to do this, whatever it is. So there is, but it's to get to that level. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you look like, you look like a, you need to get a beard trim, you need to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, it's, they're doing good. There's Soder, uh, Soder's doing great and they're doing Bobby and, uh, Jay, they're doing great. What did you do? Spots in New York?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, and then he, when he says, come here, the camera zooms in. But I liked it. It was like the first time I saw it, like it was, you know, great. He tells like, he, but he has good like fast food secrets or I don't know, you know, but it's, yeah, it's on the thing. It's fun. He's fun. But yeah, uh, try to get him before Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, your comments, Sandy Kelps, Sandy Kelps, that's a good name. That sounds like some aquatic stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Totally aquatic. Sandy kelps. Yea kelps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it sounds like a burner account name, Sandy Kelps. Uh, the hardest part, that's the name you stay in the hotels under, like ask for Sandy Kelps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The hardest part of listening was hearing you mention a city and then not knowing where it was located. Winslow, for example, is a big part of the Eagle song, Take It Easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was hard because I was yelling into my phone at you guys, but of course you couldn't hear me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we would have known where these cities are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you have any reference to go, if you just go Winslow, I don't know what that means.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Winslow, what's it near? Like it's near, there you go, okay, I've been around, maybe I've been to Scottsdale and I've been near Winslow. You know what, I've actually been pretty close to Winslow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'm saying. Was there Tennessee Jackson County? Jackson, Tennessee. Jackson, Tennessee. Yea, there's both.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I got my ran out downstairs. That's right. Thanks. You should. These guys all took a bullet. Yeah. I wish we recorded that. And then, uh, yeah, we're having a good time. A roast for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] John Chris tonight, kind of, first birthday. I mean, this would already be, it already would have happened. So I gotta be in that. It's a surprise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but they're more open people to hang out with. You're not the easiest to, I can see a girl, they've been dating for a couple years now or something. You can make a lot of excuses for her, but she didn't invite you. No, no, I think I'm, I think I'm correct because I don't think you give off energy that goes, I bet Dusty wants to come to this. Well, we'll see.


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[Assistant] We're roasting, so you should, you know what would be great? If you come and then I'll bring you on stage and then you just go, you just trash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, yeaah, yeaah. It's already happened. So we'll see how it goes, see how it feels. I don't think she knew to invite, like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, but did you say I'm with Dusty? I'll tell him. No, cause I didn't want to get ostracized.


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[Assistant] Alright, uh, we'll have Jon on soon though. At least I got Sandy Kelps in my corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's wild man. Cody wild man. What a fun name. I used to be a bodyguard for Rory Allen, an Elvis impersonator and Saskatchewan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We performed a few shows in Gravel Bird.


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[Assistant] It's like he says, like, do they need to buy it? It depends if they drink. I mean, dude, women can be.


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[Assistant] Like if they're going there and it's like, you can probably get out of control real quick. And if you're really working, then like if this guy was really on the road.


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[Assistant] Could there ever be a cover impersonator? Yeah. Like someone just goes, I just do all, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Aaron Rodriguez. Regis. But is it spelled? Not like the typical.


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[Assistant] Uh, curious to know what Nate's take is on soda with breakfast. Years ago, we sat down for breakfast with my wife's fam, extended family and her aunt's entire fam ordered Pepsi. How does this fit into his, into his all breakfast or all lunch cinnamon? I ordered soda for breakfast. If I had to pick.


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[Assistant] That's crazy. If I had to pick where I would, if you didn't let me have soda, I would pick breakfast as the only, like don't take it from me from breakfast. I love it that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm saying if you were like, alright, you can only have soda for one of your meals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, love it. That's wild. I'll have, uh, I mean, French toast, pancakes for the Pepsi. Come on. That's maybe my favorite thing I've ever had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might get made fun of if you don't, but I'm not gonna not let you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Order. Cause you're drinking a Dr. Pepper. But all this being said, I will, I will drink Dr. Pepper last night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even, I wouldn't even drink orange juice or anything like that. I mean, I don't, normally a bit of fast I don't.


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[Assistant] So I won't drink, when I fast, I won't drink any of this. Do you drink water? Yeah. I've been pounding water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot recently, I'm trying to just keep my water so bad, but yeah, soda, I mean breakfast, that's almost where I would, you know, I love it. Uh, but you know what? Me and Laura went and ate the other day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But in theory, that's what brunch is. Yes.


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[Assistant] It was, I had like this pizza that was like kind of, they had a breakfast pizza and then the pizza I had was, it wasn't a bread, it was like hot honey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and so it was, uh, it was like not, it didn't feel that crazy to me, but I mean, I will agree that I was, I immediately already.


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[Assistant] Right. Yeah. And then, but so it happened this week, I already gave up. I was like, I'm already giving up on, you know, but she's someone that can't skip. Like Laura, I could wake up and eat a hamburger. I could just move straight through. Laura has to, in her head,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has to eat breakfast, like has to have some form of breakfast. I mean, it could be a bite of a muffin to then, and then can move on.


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[Assistant] See, I don't know if I can drink. That's my, my, my theory with me eating. I think if I only drank water, I would probably eat a lot better. Cause I don't, a hamburger doesn't seem good to me with water. The reason I'm there is for the diet coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I associate Diet Coke with, I wouldn't want, uh, pizza without Diet Coke. I wouldn't want, if I had to drink water with it, ugh. Like that, that is disgusting to me.


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[Assistant] That's, with a last name like WoGoMan, you'd go, well what do you do?


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[Assistant] Cause that sounds like a guy that does something. You know, you don't meet a Cole Wogo man and you're like, what are you, you put on a show. I think you can see his show. What do you think he does? I don't, I don't, I don't even know, but I think if you ask Cole Wogo man to get on stage.


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[Assistant] I remember going to one of Aaron's first ever comedy shows at the club at Notre Dame to show my support. Oh, you know this guy.


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[Assistant] I believe his opening joke was to me, a big, a bag of trail mix is just a bag of M&Ms with obstacles. I remember that joke.


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[Assistant] Tell the pledge of, now I'm going to do this trail mix. I've had this, uh, everybody at the Grove is like, he did, he opened and closed with that trail mix stuff. You really outed me, Cole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I'm glad your friends can talk to you through their podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Center to wogo. If he was pronounced wogo man, I think his life would be different. I think so too.


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[Assistant] If someone recognizes you in public, are you okay with them asking you for a photo or an autograph? Are there times you'd rather not be approached? Love you guys. I think it's for Brian. I'll take this one. I was waiting to make the same joke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I always say I'll, I'll do it. I love taking pictures. Yeah, me too. I find the autograph as well.


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[Assistant] I've had to send a lot more pictures, like guys waiting outside the bus or something where they're doing that.


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[Assistant] Your first time ever, like you're always like, first time it happened to me, I was like blown, I would have signed anything and everything. But if it were.


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[Assistant] I've had, I know, but I've had, recently we had them and they had a bunch and then, uh, they did it where someone went and got them and said he'll do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Three of these, he's not doing all of them, you know. But I'm saying, it takes, it happens a lot. I was like, when it first happens, you're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think they do try to sell them and I'm not, it's, or they put them on eBay or they do whatever. But, uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I asked, uh, today I ran into the store and I had to go to Apple and a lady, I was like, you want to take a picture?


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[Assistant] I say it a lot. Cause I can tell, I just feel like I'm trying to guess, like I can tell that I think they want to, but they're trying to be polite. And then, so I'm just like, but then that's a, that's a risky move. Cause sometimes they're like, oh, I don't, okay. And then you're like, well, I don't.


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[Assistant] He says it like in, like he, you will just say it to him exactly. Well I did. They're like, were you? Nah.


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[Assistant] Jay Fair, right? Feed? Feed, maybe. Uh, Dusty Preep? Just feed, maybe just feed. Just feed.


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[Assistant] Dusty previously said people should wake to the sunlight to preserve


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we don't mind them. Dusty, do they come every four years or something?


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[Assistant] Dusty previously said people should wake to the sunlight to preserve circadian rhythm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In this episode, he says he is fine with people in Knoxville having nine o'clock sunrise in a permanent daylight savings time, adding if they don't like it, they can just move.


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[Assistant] No, no, no, the picture was approved, but then they did something because they have to, for the magazine, it's a touring magazine, so it's not like a...


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[Assistant] They had to move it around so then my right eye is like kind of like half shut.


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[Assistant] It's a little off. So, uh, Troy Meeker. I would love to read a book by Nate Dusty or even Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least you got an even in there. What would you write a book about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mhm. Alright. I may do the book club with your book. Yeaah. Yeaah. That'd be good. Yeaah. That'd be fun. I like that. Uh, you want to tell us about electric e-bikes? Electric e-bikes!


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[Assistant] Uh, we have ours, I wrote it the other night actually, from commutes to adventures.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Riders of all abilities can explore the new electric bike. I love my electric bike. I did just ride it. It's comfortable and easy to ride. Uh, it has, you can get going to 20, like, I want to say it's like eight. Faster than you think, man. You can really cruise on them. They're super fun, man. They're so fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we have one too, it's got a basket in the back. You use a basket on a bike more than you, more than you think.


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[Assistant] We asked if the tire pump, it is, uh, awesome. It is electric too, just automatically fills up the, oh, the tire pump. Yes, I'm just reading. It's electric. Automatically fills up the tires. I love having it, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You would save on gas, parking, just the maintenance of a car. It even folds easily and fit in your apartment or in your car if you're in a city. Uh, or anywhere you can fold it. It's super easy. You can get up to 150 miles on one charge. That's so long. If you're in a city, I mean, you might be charging that thing once a month.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, explore 2024 with electric e-bikes, the most accessible and adventurous e-bikes ever. Visit electricebikes.com to learn more and be sure to mention that Nate Land sent you in the post checkout survey. That's L-E-C-T-R-I-C-E-bikes.com.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is big pro dusty day. These people are out there. Yeah, we found them.


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[Assistant] Metal Detector is fine, but everything else is stupid. I want to hang out and have a convo with Dusty so badly. Every Wednesday is a blast with you guys. Keep up the great work. Thanks, Nick. You and Nick could become friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but how would they stop that stuff if they didn't have security? Like no metal.


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[Assistant] You know LA has a non-stop to Hartford I think. I'm pretty sure it's Hartford. It's very weird. Cause I've taken it once.


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[Assistant] And it's a flight that you're like, I don't know why this flight would be. I think there's a lot of money in Connecticut, so I'm sure that's why. But it was like a Thursday, nonstop, LA to Hartford. And I was like, and I had to be there the next day and I was in LA. I was like, this is the craziest thing.


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[Assistant] Uh, Eric Hedge. Heech. Eric Hedge or Heech? Hedge.


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[Assistant] You would think that two guys that graduate college would have a good enough grasp of physics to realize that when a space shuttle leaves the atmosphere, it creates a suction behind it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Water vapor follows it into outer space.


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[Assistant] So this team beats this team and then every other team wins every other time. And then that's just that thing. Now do it again. And it's that team beats that team.


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[Assistant] And now you have to do it both ways. And then it's like where they could end up being is just...


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[Assistant] I don't know if I would even give you, I would say, I don't even know what number to tell you. How many different ways there could be? Is there a million ways or something?


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[Assistant] Oh, cause, uh, oh, is that like, so duck, duck, dough or you're brave or whatever. They're not as good.


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[Assistant] What's the NIT stand for? Non-invitational tournament. That's not, I don't think that's it, but that's the joke. I think it's national.


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[Assistant] Like the person that goes, that's a good national invitation tournament. I'll make the people feel and they were like, what is that? The non-invited tournament? All right.


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, it's fun. You know, it depends on what baby this was. Two, what if it was baby three, four. You know, his wife cares. It's like your wife running up to the grocery store, just grab something real fast, come back with another human being.


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[Assistant] Dusty is correct. The tie looks the best slightly above the belt, but I lived in trailer park too, so that may be a poor man's look.


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[Assistant] Is it? Yeah. I think there's one in between the first and the second. See, that's what I'm saying.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and they're kind of skipping, like this is, you know.


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[Assistant] You're like, you're like, that's how it looks long. You're like, it's got a little ways to go. You don't know. It's taking the, it's on a, it's on a different trail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me ask you about this though. What's so bad about a clip on, clip on tie?


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[Assistant] I don't know, I just think it's like put the work in and these are probably nicer. I don't think they sell nice clip ons. It's probably the same reason the browser thing like is good and bad. Like it's just like, it's not going to be as good. I never knew that about the browser thing. I didn't know that that could work like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I mean, I never thought about that with the, the, the search engine. Cause it's like Google, the positives is so many people are searching that when you type something in, it's like going like you're, I know what you're basically looking for.


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[Assistant] And you're like, you go, where are we going buddy? Yeah. And he's like, I have no, no structure, no structure in my life. Just like a man you meet out in an alley.


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[Assistant] Then he's selling everything and you're like, why not? But he sells everything, but nothing you want. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, write that down. Put that in my book.


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[Assistant] Mike Terry, Nate said that Fallon hadn't done stand-up in a while, but he does a nightly monologue on The Tonight Show. Is there a difference in your mind between doing a monologue and doing a stand-up routine? Uh, a little different. It's, he's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is telling jokes every night, uh, to a live audience. So yeah, that is the rhythm of all that. He would be, it makes complete sense. I didn't, I didn't, you know what? Honestly, I didn't even really think of it like that, but.


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[Assistant] It is, but I think stand up is different because it's.


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[Assistant] You know, uh, the monologue you're, it's like topical. It's like people are writing, you're writing, you're reading, you're saying other people's jokes and stand up is more, you're saying your own jokes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think it's, I don't know if it's, there's just a different rhythm to it. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeah, no, it makes Mike's correct. It does make sense why he would be able to pick it up. Cause it's, he is telling jokes every night. I never thought of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit too close to home. Just pull back a little bit. Let people know, well, I think this guy, you know.


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[Assistant] Cold Wogo. Mike, you got any comments this week? Nah, I'm good. Might be pumping them out, buddy. I need


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[Assistant] I think very southern. I don't know if people think, do they think I'm going to Florida, I'm going to the south?


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[Assistant] Southern in the middles, cows and oranges for who listening in the bottom parts. Northern. I could, yeah.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. But I'm just saying in general when someone, you walked by some briefly and you were like, do you think Florida's in the south? I don't know.


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[Assistant] You know, it would, it's, it's, it's not like if you go Georgia, Tennessee or Alabama, you know, Alabama, like those people just really think the South Florida is such a tropical place that, you know, but it's very, very subtle.


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[Assistant] Cause yes, did you have to put your entertainment system to the ground?


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[Assistant] Florida was the one place that I'd never, for a long time I was like, I've not done any comedy in Florida. And now I've done a lot.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but I mean, it was one that was, there wasn't a lot of comedy clubs there. They used to not have a ton there.


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[Assistant] I feel like, and then, cause I wasn't inside splitters at first, but then eventually it's like, I started getting in these and then I think more of them started popping up. It was improvs. Yeah.


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[Assistant] And I got really burnt and the sun is on, like you're, it is hot.


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[Assistant] Well, women are smart enough to wear sunscreen. Suicide itch. Suicide.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I don't wear, it was like, you should get sunlight in your eyes when you wake up and stuff. I wear sunglasses, but I'm aware of putting them on. Like if I get up and go somewhere in the morning and it's bright,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll drive the car and I'm just like, no sunglasses, just, I try to get it the most in, but then.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I got, I might have those sunglasses. Are they, cause there's some golf ones. Are they? They like go all the way across.


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[Assistant] I have, John Augustine gave me a pair, cause he's with Oakley. And they gave me some, uh, and I have that I wore them on golf. They're just giant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, he was, yeah, he sent a message to incoming passenger train.


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[Assistant] Hmm, I don't know how they tell that. Isn't every city the same age really?


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[Assistant] That really had no, I don't know why. I don't think he would be the answer.


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[Assistant] He goes, he didn't even change anything. He tried to go, I want to be called Florida. And they go, no, can't. What if I break it up?


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[Assistant] No problem. Yep. I think he's from here though, cause Tennessee song. Yeah, he's from East Tennessee. He's like big Knoxville guy, you know. Tom Petty? Oh, Tom Petty.


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[Assistant] Yeah, actually I did know that part. It actually made me love it. Cause that song, Neil Young, don't whatever it is.


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[Assistant] But I mean, I bet when that song came out, and you just imagine how excited, Sweet Home Alabama, when they came out, and they know Neil Young trashed Alabama, and then they come out with this song, Sweet Home Alabama, and then they trashed it. I mean, people...


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[Assistant] Yeah, that, that had to be so fun. If you're just from Alabama, I mean, just lose your mind.


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[Assistant] Yeah, so I mean everybody, yeah, everybody could be fun and make fun of it, but Florida's our California.


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[Assistant] That's what I mean. That's what means our California. Like they don't, you're just being.


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[Assistant] It's absurd to go like Florida is something you're like, well, you ain't ever been to Florida, dude. Like get out of here.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I would move to Florida. I, I, I see, I could see a day moving to Florida.


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[Assistant] Well, you're just like, I want just, I want warm weather. I want, you know.


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[Assistant] Uh, I just want, I just, you know, I mean, that's why Beat will move there, I can see.


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[Assistant] I think it's going through stuff now, but I'm saying in general, the idea of working there, maybe it's not what it was, but it was- There's no Opryland, but it's- Yeah, but it's, yeah, but you know, you're like, you're, there's something that's kind of special about working there.


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[Assistant] Six Flags I think to me always felt like the edgier.


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[Assistant] Versus what? Just, I don't know, general theme parks. Like Six Flags was just, I, I, I didn't really have them and when they were around it's like, it's like all the roller coasters and all the like, it's just like, uh, feels like it's not for kids.


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[Assistant] Six Flags is like, yeaah, it's more, yeaah, you're going there, you're riding some rides, it's just, I don't know why. I have no reason to, and I'm just saying in general, it wasn't, I don't think, you know what, let me grab my daughter, we're gonna go to Six Flags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is Miami back? But it's for me to see Florida, Florida state, Miami kind of not be where it was and to see where they all were is pretty wild.


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[Assistant] You just, cause in the time you think, well they're gonna be the greatest here, but that's like Nebraska, like Nebraska you think.


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[Assistant] There's a time you go, well, no one's ever going to be Nebraska is the greatest team to ever live. And then they, they just flip and it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those coaches, they just played them for the players.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, it's pretty special. If you watch Scottish shepherd right now, you should, you should tune in for the best golf state. I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's where the Elvis too, Elvis had the Florida theater is where Elvis, cause I played there and Elvis, the cops stood in the back, like waiting to see if he danced and then they arrested him. I think that's what happened. But that was, it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. And now it's... I mean, he could technically still be alive, I think.


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[Assistant] Portland, downtown Portland, uh, they had the food truck, but I think they got a lot of stuff, a lot of, might be dicey down there too. Okay. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'd be good not to come from Portland.


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[Assistant] My April, April, May and June is wild. So we'll be out everywhere. Come out and see us, uh, cause it'll be fun. Cause this is, I will, I will after this, I'll be done with this be funny tour, uh, in July or the end of June and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then I'm taking time off. I'll be off and I don't know. It'll be, I'll come back in 25. I just don't know if it'll be spring or be summer. I'm not sure. So, uh, come out and see, uh, this tour. All right. We love you. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week and we will see you next week. Bye.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Barghetti and my wife Laura on the Audio Boon platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it a human construct or is it just, you know, we can dive into it later, but.


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[Assistant] I don't know off the way till Brian does all the research and then we'll learn more about it.


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[Assistant] I agree, but I feel like I've been giving it the credit it deserves my whole life.


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[Assistant] All I know is yeah, I guess, yeah, I've never really without a toilet, but when I'm without AC, that changes my life.


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[Assistant] I think I've done that already today.


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[Assistant] You give up, you don't want to talk about it. Well that's just where you get to the point where you're like, alright, we've died. Fair enough.


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[Assistant] Well, you do, you can pin people into a corner.


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[Assistant] You can't do me. Yeah, you can. Yeah. And then you just, when you're in the corner, you just go, all right. Yeah. Yeah. That's throwing, throwing the towel.


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[Assistant] Still a significant amount of aspirin. Still a lot. I mean, just the sheer volume of the pills is going to be a problem in your stomach.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've thought about that if there should be some device that the doctor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, it is hard to tell them. I remember once the doctor was with like, sinus problems and the doctor goes, does it feel like somebody's blowing up a balloon inside your head?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, that is perfect. I was so impressed with the analogy. I was like, God, you nailed it. I didn't even think of it, but yeah.


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[Assistant] It was during COVID, I just, my foot just started hurting. In the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep. This is, and I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Couldn't figure it out and I couldn't describe it better than just my foot hurt real bad. The whole foot.


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[Assistant] And I just couldn't sleep. I called my mom. She goes, just go to the ER. It could be a blood clot or something. So I go to the ER. I'm the only one there.


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[Assistant] And the whole time I was like, they're just going to think that this is like not a real thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was just so nervous about trying to articulate how bad it hurt. So I'm sitting in the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chair thing and the person comes in and they're like, did you, did you hurt it? Did you bump it into something? I was like, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you twist it? I was just sitting down and it just started hurting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like we'll give you an x-ray, maybe. I mean, this is not a, anyway, they just gave him, sent me home and it got fired after a while. I don't know what happened. No, it hurts so bad though. And I had no idea what it was. No, I couldn't walk on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, that's how long it takes the earth to rotate around the sun. Right? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you change your name when you become Pope. When you become Pope, you take on a papal name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Pope Benedict was the last pope, his name was Joseph.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It sounds, I think so. I think it sounds, uh, regal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, there's a point, does it even matter? That's what I'm wondering, why was there so much concern about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keeping it as accurate as, as, but I just said it. Cause you're on Christmas in July.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're saying, okay, another 2,000, 2,700 years?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's because we took all of these other steps. We'd be off way off if we hadn't done this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There weren't Protestants for another 1500 years though, when this calendar came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. There's a lot of work to do in Russia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 2025. 2025. It's gonna be the year of the snake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean there is. So like legal documents, like that's the legal year? I think so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was actually born in like 4 BC, right? Yes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now, did that come from a, was that a miscalculation as well or was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were trading. Like, oh, it was all barter? That's the day I had money back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, when was this? When did they decide to start counting? This is like 500 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So who knows what they were doing at the actual time? 180.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, when it's switched from BC to AD.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were, they were just like many moons ago. That's all they'd say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird to think about there might not have been a reason to keep track of time that precisely up until then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they just stop? Were they like, listen, this is, we're enough in advance. We don't need to do another year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen that before. Common error? What does that mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have before, yeaah. You know how to do it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've never at a store, I've never written a check or anything. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was the equivalent of a billionaire now, but he was worth 85 million when he died in 1930.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, what's interesting is there's a lot of these older kind of revisions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like they don't care about cooperating with the rest of the world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? It's like clearly we need to all be working on the same. We need to all agree on what day and time it is. To do any kind of international commerce. But I guess if this is, you know, if the 500s or whatever, you don't have to worry about that at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you were just talking about your daughter stays up till two or three in the morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd make the ste- the season start on the first days of months. Stop worrying about the summer solstice and all that. So winter starts January 1st or maybe December- December 1st.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I just, I would be like, to be able to know when stuff is, without looking it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to know this whole month is this season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was all just, I thought it was just this year it was that. I didn't know it doesn't change. All right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be something we'd take serious. Would you add a week onto February or would you just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, yeah, if it, if it sees a shadow, we're going to make February two or what that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember one time Easter being like at the end of February or something. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it does range. I remember it being insanely early.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, I just remember it conflicting with, uh, playing, we're always playing baseball growing up right around Easter time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I remember it always falling like during holy week and all that stuff. We'd be playing games. And I remember it came super early one year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would have bet a lot of money that it was February.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys celebrate that more than you let on. We had a Toyota minivan with a one to one sliding door. This is actually at a baseball game in the parking lot. My older brother, that door just slid right off the car into the parking lot. We had the, we had a bungee cable to the car drive home with this door just hanging out. Yeah, it was pretty embarrassing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think we had room, man. We had six of us in there. It was packed in there. And we wanted to put the door back on. So how do we? Did you get it back on? I think they, yeah, we ended up getting it put back on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to hear us continue to take stabs at it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be bad quick. Yeah. Yeah. Real quick. I mean, you said we're going a thousand miles an hour, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'd die for sure. We'd have whiplash for sure. We'd fall over. Yeah, I'd say we'd fall over. I mean...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You wouldn't even see the room show the inertia of going a thousand miles an hour and then just stabbing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'll be dead. Sorry. I brought that up. I was just, I've been thinking about that all episode. Yeah. Talked about the earth spinning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because the earth's still rotating the sun. Still going around the sun. In this hypothetical scenario. It's just no longer spinning on its axis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's moving still. It's still moving, but just not spinning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or forward is theoretically you've, you travel this faster than the speed of light than you can.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speed up time, right? You can jump ahead, but you can never go backwards. You can't go negative, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I gave up fast food this year. I made it four hours into my trip home from Wisconsin. Did you really? Yeah. And I already ate Panera. It was like, is that really fast food? It felt like a healthy option.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I joined Planet Fitness the day after Ralphie May died. I joined Planet Fitness and I have never been. And you have to go into Planet Fitness to cancel it. So I don't know if I'll ever cancel it. I've been paying $10 a month for 3 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was working that night, my boss comes in and he goes, Hey, I heard about that, uh, that Ralphie May guy that died. I go, yeah, he's a really nice guy. He goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so, yeah. Cause in my head we're like two different worlds, right? And then I'm like, Oh man, so I got on a joint planet fitness. I'm going tomorrow and I've never been.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I called when the pandemic started and I was like, okay, now you gotta let me cancel over the phone. Cause I'm not allowed to be there. And they're like, we'll put a freeze on your account and then it'll start back up and we open back up. And I'm like, ah, gosh. Still can't get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, that's their business model. If they, if, if a hundred percent of the people that subscribed and went there, there'd be no room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're banking on a big percentage, never going.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She'll go down there for me and cancel. That's my New Year's resolution is to cancel my gym memory.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's thank you. Yeah. That's what I know that. But, but still, that's, that's what I, it's a lot younger than Ralphie though. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like I kind of respect them for it. How well it works.


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[Assistant] And you have to do it at the exact one that you, so I have to drive to Madison, Tennessee to that. I'll do it. I'll do it this week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, well, do you have your ID card? I'm like, look, this is as far as I've made it. So no, I don't have an ID card.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I did in high school for football and stuff. And I worked out a little bit first couple of years of college. I tried. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I played full pad, intermural. So that kinda kept me in shape.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A week from today, January 13th, uh, doing Aaron Weber and friends at Zany's in Nashville. All right. That could be a lot of fun.


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[Assistant] I mean, I think it's snake land, but that's the point. They'll make some places are pronounced.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He bet he's copper in his yard, for, I forgot, why is it?


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[Assistant] I had a, uh, show in West Virginia this weekend. I think it's the first time I've ever been to West Virginia. It was a corporate. And my flight international was at 610.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gary's niece was on my flight, the one late back in Nashville. And I was trying to think who's the most famous person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Has ever been on a flight that you've been on? You fly Southwest, so probably you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You see, uhm, I know 80 George was in your seat one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. He has a foundation here in Nashville. I think he lives here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, does he? I think so. Okay. It was like a wounded warrior or whatever foundation that he helps with. I think they're based here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The shirt I mentioned last week, I got it the week before when I was in Florida, and then I left it in my rental car. They're shirts for all of you guys. I left it in my paycheck in the rental car, so they sent it to me, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They said, uhm, we sent you three larges and an extra large. And then there was like a 10 second pause and they go, for Aaron.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys don't always eat the best, but it looks like you wear the perfect jean.


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[Assistant] I think, is that a Nashville thing? Because of purity? Acidophilus?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what it is, but when I was a kid, my grandmother would have in a yellow jug.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, Dusty always attributes his sources. It's always they. He doesn't have credit for it. He's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you argue those pre-check lanes, if they didn't exist, there'd be more general boarding lanes, it'd be moving faster for everyone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? Someone posted that they were standing in line for your show and they came up and said, if you have clear, come up here and you got to get out of line and go up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, maybe I was going to say it's pretty red. Like I don't think there's any.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be about, you know, Easter is supposed to be about resurrection, but it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That line's not that long. It was $1,269.06 and I wrote $1,000 and I'm like, uh oh, I'm out of space here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it was a bill I had to pay, but then, uh, Ruth said, don't put that in the mailbox. She's like, you got, I would take it in the post office. Why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she said, because uh, check washing people will steal it and wash the checks. And I'm like, I'll meet you halfway. I'll just put it in a US postal service box on the way here, which is what I did. But then my buddies, I thought she was being ridiculous. My buddy Ben Hall, who, you know, said just had a check stolen from his mailbox and they like did $5,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, well I wanted to talk a little bit about the sun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to know if the sun gets enough respect around here. I mean, I was going to wait, but Aaron says about to burn out in 5 billion years. So I thought we'd better get to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, hard stuff. We also talked about the, uh, solar eclipses coming up. Do you know that? There's a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, full solar eclipse coming up April 8th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And someone that invited us. Well, Aaron jokingly said last week, we should do our podcast from the path where it's going to be total. And I think people, everyone in the path has invited us. I've gotten multiple emails saying you should come here and do it, you know, for the 30 seconds that it will be in darkness.


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[Assistant] Well, I was downtown and it was cloud cover, so I kinda was disappointed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it was dark for like three hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While he was on the cross from like noon to three. Okay. And some historians think maybe that was an eclipse.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd rather just say, ah, that didn't happen then to say, oh, there's also happened to be an eclipse that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I looked this up last night. It's all, every one sold out. Really? Every flight? Well, there's one flight, but every, every seat is sold out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now they are offering some later flights. Catch the back end of it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the coolest thing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, but I think there's a couple that we're going to be day games. They've moved tonight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tried to find, like I googled, there are more earthquakes after an eclipse. Is it the only thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a full moon during an eclipse because it blocks out the sun and I guess the tides can be stronger from the full moon so therefore it could trigger more eclipse, I mean earthquakes. Earthquakes, okay. I had a time lapse of downtown Nashville


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I can't find it right now, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a town in Illinois, I think, who is experienced in both. The one from 2017 and this one, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it'd be awesome. The experience. Uhm, the sun's 93 million miles away or 10 to 15 miles, depending on who you ask. Uhm, right? I mean, yeah, I'm with it. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And hydrogen and helium and it's just held together by its own gravity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I never really thought about the solar system, like what constitutes when it ends and when it starts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's when the gravitational pull of the sun is no more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it is. So that's how big the solar system is when you can get away from the sun. Does that make sense?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Real depressed and going through all these problems, but then when the moon starts coming to the earth, she can handle it better than anybody because she's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, she's just already got her old issues. So people whose lives are going great, obviously they're in disarray, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nah, it's a little bit more. I don't even know if I know what I think about it. The way you described it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, about to crash and, I mean, it's almost like a s- a side plot, like. The moon is a side plot? It's kind of like, she's dealing with all these issues and then, oh yeaah. Near the end, the moon is about to crash. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's like his dead horse joke. And also a rogue planet crashing at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uhm, so the, the sun's getting hotter. It's, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's because it's converting hydrogen to helium. So it's a billion years from now, it's going to be 10% brighter than it is today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's one little notch? That's what I'm saying. How hard would it be? Well, they're actually trying to get it cooler. We've talked before about dimming the sun. Oh, Bill Gates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the, it's like a parasol, which, you know, just a giant umbrella. Where they go tied to. They're like, Oh, I think it up there. We're going to tie this thing to the mountains.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But their argument is we are changing stuff in the atmosphere, so we gotta, we gotta do something to fix it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that going to be good? I think they want to block one to 2% of it. To do what? To lower the global warming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's the same as when you turn an oven off it doesn't immediately. That's a good point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think there's been some comic books where he's like, something's happened and he's in darkness.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Wow. Well, when he shows up, he's still got power. So how long, I know, but how long does he have?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I think he goes for a few days. So even if you've been in the dark for a few days in Alaska, when he shows up, he could still do some stuff. Now I'm saying there's months at a time where there's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh really? I think she had a hard life after Superman. Oh really? Yeah. Why just? I think alcohol maybe or drugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sun, the earth goes around the sun, 365.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Days a year, but it's actually a little bit more than that. So that's why we get off the calendar gets off schedule. So we have to throw in a leak day every four years, but not every.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four years. You know that? No. You remember that from our calendars episode? No. It's gotta be, uh, a year divisible by four, but also, um, I think divisible by 400.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so the last time we didn't have one was the year 1900 and the next time we won't have a leap year is 2100.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, Oh, this week I'm in Chattanooga at the comedy catch Thursday, Friday. I'm in Hudsonville, Michigan. Then Vincent's Indiana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a cancer benefit show they do there every year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nate Land is produced by Nate Land Productions and by me, Nate Bargetzi, and my wife Laura on the AudioBoom platform.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Recording and editing for the show is done by Genovations Media. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to catch us next week on the Nate Land Podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you'll be surprised, dude. I have a real intuition for this stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did grow up on video games in a way that you guys never have, you know, where you have to, I've driven manually in video. With a clutch. With a clutch. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he got them diesel so they couldn't sneak out. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking about that some of my childhood videos, you know, it's like you turn on the camera and you're like, let's just record for an hour. You're walking around. Nobody does that anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's like the new typing. I feel like where my generation had to be taught that, and then that generation, they just come up knowing it. That's like a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm saying I learned that. Oh yeah, I mean you could take classes for it if you had like an AV class or something. What I'm saying is like typing used to have to be taught in school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People my age, you just grew up typing. That's what I think it's going to be for video editing and stuff. That's like such an essential skill now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People want their kids to have that unique identity. They want their kids to have a cool name handle for Instagram or TikTok in the future. Okay. She charges up to $500 to help expecting parents choose the perfect name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about these names? Leander? Melville? Pleasant?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ransom. Duke. Robinson. Duke's a great name, but I, I chose, I went against it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can name the three that are on that poster. Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know where they'd have to, yeah, put it in that corner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep you going. From commutes to adventures, riders of all abilities can explore more with electric e-bikes. Go to electricebikes.com to learn more about their wide selection of e-bikes that start at just $799 with the XP Lite.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They sent us one of these. I use it all the time. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fold it in half, take it on the road. It's a fun way to explore a city, get a little bit of exercise. Anybody can ride an e-bike. It's designed for a better mode of transportation for all riders. They have financing available, they ship for free, they come fully assembled up to 150 miles on one charge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty amazing. Explore 2024 with electric e-bikes, the most accessible and adventurous e-bikes ever. Visit electricebikes.com to learn more and be sure to mention that the Nate Land podcast sent you in the post checkout survey. That's L E C T R I C.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I went to, I was off this way, I did spots and zanies, but I was off. I could have been working.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I went on Jay show. Oh, that's great. They're awesome, man. Yeah. Nate, this spot too. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I forgot to talk about it last week, but I did in South Dakota, I did a, uh, a smash room. Have you ever done one of those?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Like a rage cage, whatever they're called. Yeah. What, where'd you do it? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. We were just driving by it and I was like, I don't know. Let me go check that out. And it was, it was a good time. I don't think I'd do it again. I think I got everything I need to get out. I got it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's great. Yeah, I saw the, uh, the tweet of you just sitting at the, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just sitting at the desk, I was like, we got dusty analyzing hockey out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fights are fun. I loved it. Any fights in the stands?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I, I'm, you're the one that said nobody's doing this. Well, nobody's crying, you said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever have like a moment where your parents are like, we need to experience this as a family, like historical moment where they're like, we gotta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember my dad waking us up. This is when, this is when George Bush was declaring war, starting the war in Iraq.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad was like, all right, everybody come, we're like, we're going to watch this. I want you all to have been here when this happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, this is all, this is the same thing. Exactly. It's a recognition of we need to build a memory here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] May 19th, 1780, an unusual darkening of the daytime sky was observed over the New England states and parts of Eastern Canada. The primary cause of the event is believed to have been a combination of smoke from forest fires, a thick fog and cloud cover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The darkness was so complete that candles were required from noon on. It didn't disperse until the middle of the next night. So imagine if you don't know this is coming and it just gets dark for a whole day, that's gotta be terrifying. Back then, 1780.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No backpack. Nothing. Nothing. Yeah, that's pretty nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are getting worse, right? I know. That's okay. I've always struggled with finding time to manage my finances. Well, that's not true. I have plenty of time. I have struggled with the mo- having the motivation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, you know, you gotta, yeah, that's what you gotta do. You gotta remind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Out of the way. I just needed it out of the way. Yeah. So yeah, I'm done. Cars for kids. Hmm. You ever heard of that? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The cars for kids, what are they? Can you do them? Well, it was cars for kids. Oh, that's like, was it a melodic like that or was it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. Sometimes it just doesn't anywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it should at least be simple. That's why for the last year we've been drinking AG1 every day all the time. It's just one scoop mixed in water once a day every day and makes me feel ready to take on whatever's on my plate. That's because each serving of AG1 delivers my daily dose of vitamins, minerals, prebiotics, probiotics,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a wonderful, healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. You drink it first thing in the morning, you know, which is recommended for optimal nutrient absorption. You shake it in extra cold water. You add a scoop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're good for the day. You don't have to do anything else for your health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If that's a lie. If there's one product I'd recommend Elevate Your Health, it's AG1 and that's why we've partnered with them for so long. Long time friend of the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say they've been with us from the jump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm still reading the ad by the way. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1. You want to read that last part there? Tell them how to get it. That's okay. No, no, no. I love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. So in the summer, June, July, be a five 20.


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[Assistant] I mean, I'll sleep through it almost every day, but I set one. What time?


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[Assistant] There's two hours this morning. I know, but what time do you- I set one for seven, I woke up at nine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. You have big ambitions, right? I'm going to tackle the day tomorrow. I'm going to really get into it. And then you wake up at nine and you know, here I am. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been trying to tell the story on, but I went to my, my brother just moved to Tucson and I went out there and I was like, let me get you something for your apartment. And he wanted some plants. So I went to a plant store and I got him like a cactus.


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[Assistant] If you just go dig them up. That's the crazy part.


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[Assistant] Like a nice house, we got him like a crazy looking cactus anyway.


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[Assistant] Remember that's what they did with the Isaac Newton tree. We talked about that a little bit where that trees now all over the world. Anyway, anyway.


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[Assistant] What this guy says is the focus should now be on preserving existing forests rather than planting new ones. According to his research, letting existing woodlands expand and mature naturally will offset about 50% more carbon in the long run. So, you've said that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's, I think it's closer than people think. Though I think a trillion is so much that I think there's more trillions. I can't even visualize what a trillion is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's one of the three trillion for sure. But is that alive? Oh no, that hasn't been alive in a while. Let's see that. Yeah. Yeah. Take a look at that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it doesn't get, you know, the sun doesn't rise until 10 AM.


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[Assistant] I'm, yeah, I'm sure it's delicious, dude. Two 100% white meat.


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[Assistant] Extra crispy fried chicken filets as the base, zesty marinara sauce, gooey mozzarella cheese, and crispy pepperoni.


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[Assistant] We would, oh, the human species? Yeaah. Okay.


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[Assistant] No, but there's a dollar general by my house. I think about if I had to, if I had to got holed up in there.


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[Assistant] During the apocalypse, I'd be all right for awhile. Yeah. There's a lot of good stuff in there.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's just right next to my house. So I go in there all the time. I'd rather be in a Kroger or a Publix, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this guy says he'd say there's more water on earth than a billion years ago. And the real reason is meteors. Every day the earth is bombarded with about a hundred tons of meteors. That's, it seems like a lot every day.


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[Assistant] I don't know, gravitational force. That would keep everything intact, something like that.


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[Assistant] Dude, I had a plane this weekend. But it can't float up. Storming, landed. You ever had a plane hit the ground really hard where everybody on the plane screamed?


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[Assistant] I think it wasn't, it wasn't a full gas, but it was a, I mean, I reacted to it when you're not expecting, I didn't even know we were landing and then you just boom, hit the ground. I mean, it's shocking. This is what I do. I go, jeez.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How nice. There he is. April 6th. Late land country. March 15th to 16th, Lowell, Arkansas at the Grove. I'm there all weekend. And then March 29th and 30th, Las Vegas, Wise Guys Comedy Club. Come see me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like the first show, if you have like a crowd work moment or like an observation about the club, you say it, it's funny, you're like, alright, I'll do this all weekend. And it works every time, but by the end you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was that the one that you didn't sell out or the one that you did? The one that he was on. That was the one with probably the most Nate Land people was the one I didn't do.


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[Assistant] You gotta buy an album, you gotta just buy an album in a higher, higher alphabetical order.


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[Assistant] What's the opening joke? It's a goldfish joke. I'm jumping all around now. Credit score. Yeah, I think so. That's a good joke.


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[Assistant] No, I didn't rent one this weekend because I had a little traveling to do, but yeah, I always just Uber. I Ubered from Seattle to.


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[Assistant] You tuck in the undershirt when it's real cold, but you still haven't, that way the, the, the draft can't get up in your, get up in your.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I went to, uh, last week, I went to LA for a couple of days, did some podcasts, did some random things. A lot of fun, real tiring.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, went to Whitney Cummings house, did her podcast.


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[Assistant] Uh, did Tom Papa's podcast, Ryan Sickler, uh, it was great. It was a lot of fun. And then I went to, I flew to Omaha, Nebraska. I rented a car, drove to Lincoln, Nebraska, had a great show. Then I drove to, uh, uh, Iowa City, Iowa. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great show. Theaters, right? Theaters, yeah. Two theaters. Didn't lose my keys. Didn't get towed. Great time, really.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, I said something like, that's what I do. I garden and I know stuff and I was wearing that and then my, I was holding my son and he threw up on it. So I had to change, but, uh, that's why you're wearing this. Yeah. Very, I got a very supportive Titans gear today.


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[Assistant] Very excited about the year now that we got rid of our, you know, dead weight coach and the best running back of all time. And, uh, it's looking good.


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[Assistant] I'm excited that Henry is going to the raven, so I think that's pretty exciting.


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[Assistant] Uh, and then in Iowa city, uh, Caitlin Clark is it was, uh, was playing in that city while I was there. Oh, wow. You could have went to that game. I could have, but I slept late and Lincoln and barely made it to my show. Wow. I didn't really make it to the show, but I was, I was cutting it close. Yeah.


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[Assistant] It was great though. I feel good. I'm pretty tired. I flew and drove a lot. LA is exhausting. Just trying to get somewhere is just the worst. Just trying to go anywhere. You're just sitting there.


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[Assistant] I hate it and I have a hard time looking at it that way. I wish I could. Being in the car, I must be going. I must be going in the car.


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[Assistant] But I will uber too if it's like, you know.


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[Assistant] Like, one day we ended, and I was like, this is, he like lived on that side of town, and I gotta go back to another side of town, I go, I'll just Uber back. I'm not gonna make him do that, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, you know, they're working. I'm working. Let's hang out. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Well, I do Lyft and like, so when you rate people at Lyft, there's four other options after you give the rating. It'll seem like above and beyond, friendly driver, clean car, safe driver, stuff like that. And you can hit all four of those.


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[Assistant] So when I want to, when I don't like the ride, I still give them five stars, but I won't do those things.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm just like, I'm not, you gotta do something really bad. I'm not trying to mess up your livelihood. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] But I'm just like, but if they're really good, I hit all those things.


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[Assistant] I'm always making sure my food is as clean as it can get. I love it because it is 100% grass-fed beef, free-range organic chicken, pork, raised, crepe-free, and wild-caught seafood. ButcherBox allows me to order ahead and make quality meals.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that I'm always prepared with meat in the freezer. I am not home enough to run to the grocery store, so I love having what I need ready to go. The value of ButcherBox compared to the grocery is also much better. The grocery store does not offer free protein for a whole year. With ButcherBox you don't have to worry about what's for dinner.


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[Assistant] ButcherBots is offering our listeners their choice of a weeknight meal essential.


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[Assistant] The three two one deal. Three pounds of chicken thighs.


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[Assistant] That was pretty good. If I could read, that would be a, that would have been a hot ad read. You did a great job. I stumbled up a little bit and I hate that. No, it was well done. Cause I, I like to really get into it.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he needed to be there. Also a guy that knows me. So another person invited me out to this thing. So.


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[Assistant] So whenever I see comics trash in Florida, I'm always like, you've never been there, huh? No, no, no, I've never been there.


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[Assistant] I'd say so. I don't, Destiny and I would probably have never hung out together until right now in our lives. Yeah, I don't think so. Actually, when I met you, I was about a year sober. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about Castor Royale, can you try that?