[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] True. Um, and so therefore there will be more regular tragedies. Although I think, I dunno. So yea, I, I, I, I think that women sometimes age very gracefully indeed. Um. Yea. And obviously for you that would be. Some. Liz Hurley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not convinced she's not had anything done though. She's had nothing done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It looks like she's had some stuff done, like, like injections of stuff to get rid of wrinkles or whatever. Yeah. You know, bit of the old Botox or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to have a good example of some, uhm, some old, old, old, Maggie Smith, there you go. She looks great. Maggie Smith, she's 81. Maggie Smith, oh for god's sake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's a Jase Bond, she's 81, Judy Dench, and she, well, I don't think she's ever had anything done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think she has either actually. But I'm glad because, because sort of they just, they just turn into a lizard and it's very spooky if, you know, if you're careful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The next common reason to take the odd, the next odd reason that someone's given for taking the day off. I thought it was a bank holiday today and I'm 500 miles away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, it's an excuse, but, and it's a legit, it sounds like a legit excuse, like, oh, I thought it was a bank holiday today, oh, that's next week, oh, right. You know, it sounds like an excuse, it sounds like an easily made excuse is all I'm saying. I'm not giving them the benefit of the doubt. I think that's bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and here's the last excuse, uh, I missed my stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have fallen asleep on buses and trains before and gone to the end of the line and ended up a long way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. One time I woke up in Crewe. Uhm, in Wales. Well I think it's in Wales. It might not be in Wales. Honestly I don't even know where it is. I woke up in Crewe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was still partially clothed. Yeah, I think it was, I think it was pants. Maybe a dress. I don't know what I was wearing at the weekend. It was, it was crazy. It was a crazy, crazy time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was me and Paddington there, we were on a wild fucking stag dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you think about all day breakfast? What? What do you think about all day breakfast?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think uhm, there's, when I hear for example, that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean too, I think so. I mean, I'm looking at this article and there's a picture of the McDonald's chief guy in the UK or whatever sitting here and he looks the most uncomfortable. So he sat there smiling with a McDonald's breakfast in front of him and he looks like he's so out of place. He's never.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the thing is, there's a lot of competition at Dodds. There's always been a lot of competition, okay, but this kind of new, hipper...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Competitors like Five Guys, for example, coming in on the burger space. And you can see why, because they're, they're pretty, pretty much better. And so the other, so I get a very Reddit news perspective. So I hear some news like, oh, McDonald's are now doing a relay breakfast. And the first comment I know in Reddit is going to be someone saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Complaining about that. More breakfast. I guess they're not complaining actually, that's a positive comment, you know, but I read them in that voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's a formula, you kind of learn that there's this formula that goes down with


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With how these comment threads work and how, there's a formula in news articles too, okay, uhm, you know, it's, it's a little, a quirky, quirky tagline, a quirky introduction, a little bit of introduction as if people have never heard of a breakfast before or never heard of a McDonald's, it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, uh, so the first, the first paragraph will be for, for people who, who have never, ever set foot in life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The classic, the classic problem is that McDonald's has this view of being unhealthy. Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that there's, I think that there's, there's, when, when someone's like really, really overweight, you know, one of the go-to things that they'll say is stop going to McDonald's and do some exercise, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those two things are probably not the things that are causing that person to be overweight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the thing that I kind of always, the thing about that that always shocked me was the hidden calories in things like yoghurt, for example, a sort of a pret a manger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And also, you know, you watch these, these things like Super Size Me, uhm, yeaah. Or something where there's some guy eats some crazy diet and he says, oh, you know, I'm going to gain weight. And there's some, some other guy does exactly the same thing and loses weight. And I think it's, if you,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's what, that's becoming this defining sort of consensus, yeaah, that sugar is way, way, way worse for you than...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the same chemical, it's the same, and it is the same amount. It's, it's much, much worse. People don't realize that, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you drink a glass of, like, if you drink a glass of apple juice, how many apples is that? It's like ten apples squashed down into one glass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if you eat an apple a day, if you eat one apple, that's very different. You're eating a lot of, um, you know, uh, fiber and starch and all sorts of other stuff, which, which, I think like smoothie


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you should just look into yourself and the fact is that you can be eating.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you were having instead. But here's the fucking thing, if you instead went to McDonald's and you had an, uh, a cheese, an egg, bap or whatever, and a, and a, whatever else I don't know is in a McDonald's breakfast,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think that would be as bad as 20 teaspoons of sugar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just the same as that sugar. No it's not. It's not a different chemical compound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could be worse. I mean, fats do have more calories per gram, so fats are more easily turned into calories than sugar is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm, I'm, could, this is all, this isn't very funny, but this is pretty serious, pretty serious chat. I, I think that, that, that, you know, you should know what you're eating. And since I started putting stuff into, uhm, like my fitness pal. My blender. It makes me realise, like, how is, how is that thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, like, it makes me, the app, the MyFitnessPal app, once I put stuff in there, it makes me realise, like, I eat something and I'm like, holy crap, how?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did I just eat that thing that had 300 calories in it? What, what, where are those come from? And then I realized it's got a load of added sugar and I'm like, holy crap, I didn't realize. Uhm, and it could be anything, you know, so it's nice to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you don't always realise. This is the thing, this is the thing about gyms though as well. And that's, that's the second thing that like, you know, so the first thing is people say to fat people, they say stop going to McDonald's. And the second thing they say is, is go to the gym. And so we've already addressed that stop, you know, if, if you think you're eating healthily and you're having special K apple juice and you know, yoga every morning,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a lot of, that's gonna, that's no good. Okay, that's a lot of sugar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, first of all, I think dieting sometimes is a trick. People say eat healthily. I don't think people know what eat healthily is, okay. The second thing is go to the gym. People say go to the gym and you'll lose weight. That's no good. You could go to the gym.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you can't do a proper workout in the gym because you're very overweight, or you're not very flexible or able to do stuff properly,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but you still go home and eat a huge amount of food. You think, oh I've gone to the gym for an hour, I'm gonna eat this tub of ice cream as a result. That's no good. I think losing weight is really, really hard because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel, I feel very lucky that I am genetically predisposed, I think, to be thin, uh, as opposed to, as opposed to people. I think, I think, I think people who are genetically predisposed to being a bit heavy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you do, well, Sips, it's all that exercise, you do at least one sit-up every day when you wake up, right? Yeah. Uh, add those up over 35 years, that's a lot of sit-ups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just saying that you should not go to the gym if you're overweight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and that is, first of all, it involves just taking control over what you actually eat. So good luck if you're trying to do that, because it's hard. It's really, really hard. It's really hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very hard to write down in your calorie counter what you've eaten if you go to a subway because it's not clear, you know. So sometimes, for example,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you can have like an entire salad, like a huge, huge bowl of salad with all sorts of stuff on it. And it'll be a hundred calories. Yeah, the dressing. Okay, the dressing, a little cup of the dressing will be like three times the entire salad. Yeah, but let's face it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's gotta be a balance between, and again I'm not, again I think it's tough for people because uhm, I sometimes feel down and food eating is nice and cheers me up, right, and so there's gotta be a balance between


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Making yourself miserable and making you, you know, and trying to lose weight. And so I think that finding that balance is very difficult for people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What, you know, at the end of the day, so it's a little bit like we talked about with New Year's resolutions before, it's sometimes good to... What did we talk about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think we talked a little bit about that. And it was, it's a little bit like trying to, uhm, keep


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, to start with and work your way there. It's a slow...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These things don't happen overnight, I think people...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People would assume they will, but gradual change is always, always better. And start, start now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I-I-I don't care, right? Don't follow my advice. Fucking figure it out yourself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is up ladies and gentlemen? Welcome back to Fudge Muppet. I'm Scott here with Michael and Drew as always. This is the Elder Scrolls Podcast and today we are diving into more fan theories. But before we get to that, we've just got to bring you a little announcement. We are going to, from this point on, be doing the Elder Scrolls Podcast fortnightly, which


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For those of you who don't know, it's two weeks. I remember when we used to do like builds fortnightly back in the day. People would be, what the hell's a fortnight? What does this mean? All this. But two weeks, so. As if anyone doesn't know what fortnight is. Well now they know, yea, probably. That's probably a cultural shift is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, yeaah, so we're gonna be doing every two weeks because the main reason is we are trying some, obviously if you've seen some really cool new cinematics and direction with our videos and it requires a lot more time and we're finding that doing the podcast every week


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] is distracting from sort of putting out as much content as we would like to. So it's just, you know, it's basically going to be so that we can focus on our main content


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A bit more and then get the podcast out every second week. So it's not disappearing. It's just lower frequency.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then if you listen to Michael's recent Skyrim, uh, theory video about the main story and listen to Parthenax, you might know that trying to delay the end might hasten it, so maybe this is the wrong move, but we'll find out. Alright.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is kind of interesting that it pulls it down to that, like, it is a cultural thing as to why they all die. So everyone just assumes, and then so when people repeat that myth that's been created about, like, that orcs, you know, all of the age was thrown onto them or whatever so that they age like humans, unlike the other elves that were ruined forever or whatever the quote is from the shore stories.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that, uh, yeaah, it's just funny that that kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is like, true, but not true because they're like, you know, ageing clock's gonna die. It's just you've never seen orcs really live past, you know, a hundred or eighty or whatever because once they start getting old. Although then again, the only thing I would say is I guess they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's uh, I guess one difference is, like, the physical signs of aging would probably seem to be...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The physical indicators sort of explain how close they are to the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the most- If it is taken that he is literally that old and everything and it's all like 100% confirmed, then I think it probably does come to the really boring answer. It's probably magic, like, and magic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Makes them live longer because that's happened with other sort of characters who usually have like restricted lifespan by being human or whatever, but they've been able to live longer because of godly or magical kind of, um, kind of feats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so yeah, like because I feel like there's just too many city orcs or orcs that are out there that you kind of see. And I mean, theoretically, like if there was some sort of like, you know, the old orcs that you come across and fight, it's like, maybe you could be like, oh, they're actually 350 years old, but it's like, you know, I'm not, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a cool theory, but I do think the most reasonable answer is that this particular character is using magic or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also, I was just going to say that there is evidence, the evidence of being the mythology and stuff, the very idea that there is a prevalent mythology about how orcs, why orcs have a shorter lifespan would imply that that is some sort of broader knowledge, which then implies that it has some sort of bearing in reality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels kind of like, in a similar sort of way, you know how they go like, oh the average age of death is 30, everyone only lived to 30 back in the middle ages or something, but it's actually like, once you get past that like childhood period and you get into adulthood,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were like biologically like us and they lived to 80 or something like that, depending on the circumstances. It's just that there was a lot more child mortality and other sort of factors that cut people's lives short that we have, you know, we can get around with medicine stuff. So it's kind of like a.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless that's kind of what I guess the sort of idea is implying is that it's so rough and hard that they all die at like 80 or below or something, but theoretically they could live to whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In theory, Mike the Liar is actually the embodiment of Michael Kirkbride, the teller of stories. Like Mike, as in Mike, kind of sounding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so how about this, uh, Callum Torrance. What about the idea that Sabeel Stantor is from the Cyrodiil vampirium order? Maybe she's been sent to Skyrim to oversee Imperial business. She could be using the blessing from Clavicus Vile to remain completely hidden in plain sight, even in Skyrim. The question is what's her motive to be in Skyrim? It's probable that she's there to try and put an end to the war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] native character to Skyrim, like she looked over what's her name in his youth, um, Torrig and so on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's kinda like uhm, so the old idea here was that it was sort of expanding uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That, uh, the Imperial influence in Skyrim and that's what they, she's there for in, you know, uhm, you know, expanding the sort of vampiric orders and influence. Okay. Also, you know, being intertwined with the Imperial politics, their influence.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm just saying, it's kind of feels like the only, the, the, the, the assumption is kind of just like, oh, well she's in the Imperial control sort of area. Yeah, therefore, Cyrodiilic Vampirom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But also, I guess, the thing that's kind of going off and going on is like, they keep, it's, uh, adding all of this, like maybe she's involved in the death of the dark brother, you know, the emperor around here to do this, this and this and this. And I think you can be part of like an order, but not be the mastermind and mover. Do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The tribunal has failed both tests. Mental weaknesses have taken a toll as Almalexia is delusional, Sothazil is depressed, and Vivek suffers from numerous personality disorders and mental illnesses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The three were also tempted into treachery by a lust for power that resulted in the murder of their husband, their friend, and their king.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] After losing her power, Amalexia, in her madness, goes further by murdering Sotha Sil and sending fabricants to attack the Dunmer people. Vivec, uh, himself, does the greatest betrayal in Dunmer history by allowing Bardow, the celestial rock sent by Shogarath, to fall into Morrowind and trigger the devastation of the Red Year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, one thing I guess the end is, I don't, like Vivek, the idea that he put the bard down and everything there, it's like he could have like got rid of it, but he kept it there so if the faith ever like fell in him that it would go, but it wasn't like he took the rock and goes bang, just sends it afterwards, it's that he lost his power and therefore it became unstable and it was gonna fall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, very mentally healthy people can be treacherous. Like, you know what I mean? It doesn't necessarily require mental weakness to be treacherous. Like, arguably, like, I don't know if people offend, like, like, berserk or something, but you could kind of say that while cruel and sadistic, it's kind of like, uhm, the, the treachery requires a lot of,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Conviction and, and straight, like it would be very hard to do, like something like, you know, or if you ever, I don't know if you have people like the Star Wars and so on, I think, I think it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it's the Old Republic related stuff, or actually it was the New Universe stuff, like Darth Malgus or something. He ended up killing his own wife or something because that was his, like, one weakness or whatever left, but in the amount of lack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, it's crazy, like, it's, it's, you know, obviously insane in LZP, but what I'm just sort of getting at, it doesn't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's also that thing, and it's like, show graphs are the main thing because madness or whatever. So you know when it's like the sphere becomes that, anything that's associated with it, it's like, oh well, this one's a little bit mad here or here or here. Like, it kind of feels like it's possible for people to go mad without.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Villain of, of the tribunal and the sort of antithesis of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder how this stacks up with the ESO lore and stuff now, but I know, uhm, originally black soul gems were introduced in Oblivion as a concept, and they were these soul gems that you go and you put in this sort of altar and so on that gets blessed by the Necromancer's Moon, which is, you know, uhm, Manamaco in his, like, godly form, like the, the revenant kind of deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then that's how the black soul gems are then, uhm, uh, created and then they can absorb human souls and so on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty sure this whole black soul gem, white soul kind of distinction did not exist prior to, uh, oblivions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'd say I'm pretty sure it was different in previous games. I'd have to double check, but like I know in Morrowind, uhm, there was no black soul gems, for instance, so I'm not-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, so that's one of the- Cause like, get rid of like the gameplay connotations and stuff, it's just like what outside of that, oh, it can capture a mortal soul, but like you said, like, you know, there's a whole emperor's over-soul within the Amulet of Kings, and you know, there's souls within the Mantella and such, but you wouldn't call them black, that, that categorisation just because it can-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so it wasn't possible before Oblivion, I think, to do the whole mortals thing, but also in the lore, like, there's souls trapped in all kinds of things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but why can they absorb mortal souls? Compared to normal?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but by that, but what I'm saying is that is the essential criteria of what makes a black soldier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overall, also it kind of seems to what's tied up in it all is uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the Solkhan and the Ideal Masters and their sort of connection and their sort of flag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's too, the other thing too is like, if you view it from lore perspective and remove the gameplay, because like, you know, you could look at a Vestige, right? So like a Dramora or some kind of Daedric being, you can Soul Trap them and put them in a standard Soul Gem, but then there's some special sort of thing about a mortal thing. It really is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinda comes down to it's like, this is this evil necromancer sort of thing that we wanted to, to add and, and for gameplay function, you know, so, cause otherwise you just get too much easy access to, to, to grand souls cause they're everywhere walking around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah. But yeaah, so in general though, like the, the, I guess the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The point of what he was getting was, it's interesting viewing the whole like dynamic, like similar to a soul trap kind of thing that, that the, the Dwemer as an entire race, uhm, were trapped within the heart. But then again, there's the whole idea that they've sort of been trapped within, they became the skin of the Numidian, but you can view that as like soul trapped within the construct that is the Numidian, kind of like bound to it, you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there are some interesting sort of like comparisons. I think even in some of the like the crazier Kirkbride kind of law, there's like this sort of eye of Magnus AI kind of stuff. And, and if you think about like in this sort of, and their true function was the ever rewriting kind of system, it's like a self-learning AI, like things happen within it, run simulations, but then it learns and it can change the fabric of it and itself and so on. But that's a very like, you know, sciency way of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't say, but I guess there's not too much else we can, we can...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Add to her. Because then you, I mean, you could expand on it and be like, Mehrunes Dagon is like, uh, like one of those, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think when you go, when you go into the soul can, uhm, can't, doesn't Serana say, you gotta take these potions or I can make you a vampire to go into the soul can without the damage or whatever it was. I just, I'm so high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This whole, like, Drago Crystals concept purely comes from Kirkbride, right? Yea, it comes from the Numanji Interceptor. Like, there is no, like, all of these ideas, these are built on Michael Kirkbride's ideas all around them. Yes, Extrakannon. So yea, like, outside of- Extrakannon!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's something like we continue like trying to do uhm, on the podcast and stuff as well and we kind of have been but, but once again like rethinking and clarifying like what are like popular ideas in the community that have been created and exist but aren't actually codified like the example with like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Akka over soul kind of stuff is not a in game thing. It is a structure of interpretation that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the baked in canon sort of thing. This, this just because it's been talked about so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because, you know, ideas outside of canon are interesting to explore, and there's examples of things where, you know, cool ideas and stuff get canonized in the future entries and so on, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so this is kind of, I don't know, I'll just read it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is why the Nerevarine is able to destroy the heart of Lorkhan when previously the Aedra could not and why the Mundus continues to fully exist without too many problems. The heart is no longer needed and it was linked to a god that was eaten and mantled.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is why the Thalmor are intent on destroying Talos worship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Halos and Lorcan are now essentially one and the same, and handily encompass everything the Ultima hate about Bermundus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The hosts, you know, the creation of the warp in the west and so on, where the sort of concept of Talos is truly born because, uhm, all of the elements are, are, are reunited into that sort of Talos oversaw, those being Izmir type of septum and Xeranarchtis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and because, you know, obviously there's the whole little drag and break thing that all goes on, but that's an interesting idea that too, because that has been a question, because I remember before, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you say, oh, destroy the heart lock on, you can't use the tools and so on. And then people are like, no, no, no, no, it's just deactivated because it's like, you know, essential, the world, like the heart sustains the world or so on. But it is different. It's interesting to view it through this way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he could destroy it, and theoretically, in previous understanding, the world would be destroyed as well, but it's not going to happen because Talos has mantled the function of, uhm, Lorkhan. And there's parts of reasoning, there's, there are like theories that I've read before, and I've got ideas myself that at one point I might string together into a thing, but that, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All of the Shezareens and so on, and there's the idea that Tiber Scepter might be a Shezareen, uhm, and then Xeronarchus, and all these kinds of strings and connections, that these are avatars of Lorcan, that all of this time have been building back to the purpose of becoming


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sort of God figure that mantles him so that his purpose can be sort of refilled and bring power back into the world as he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If they change or something or maybe mantle or in some form, I don't know if it necessarily changes a physicality. Cause if you, if you envision it, I suppose this is the thing. If you envision it as a corpse more so, like it's, it's static. It kind of like stays as it is rather than this sort of changing being.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, you know, this is all like lots of like weird theories to try and string together, but there is, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There is the concept that Talos is the replacement for Lorcan. It's like Lorcan's design of reasserting himself. But then you've got Michael Kirkbride ideas that go along with a whole other kind of thing with, with Amaranth and so on. And then it's like, how does Kim and all of that kind of stuff into play?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because you could say that, for example, like Talos, like, did change the world in some meaningful way. If you like, you know, Cyrodiil became no longer a jungle and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe that was in the process of him actually mantling and becoming Talos. He kinda did that. I guess so, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I agree. So uhm, yeah, cool theory. Uh, do we wanna go, has anyone got any other, not the, we're not doing a Mayik, liar the episode. Why not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it would actually be boring like that in a nice, in a nice, in a nice tight video, which explains the theory coherent, like the one that you're doing and so on. There is, but actual open-ended discussion about what in reality is an easter egg is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause he like appears in all the games and he's sort of like the, the, the assumption there is that he's like a guide that's like help. Cause he only appears to really the player sort of characters, whether it be the vestige in here. So yeah, but he has his own.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just like any kind of amazing figure. It's one of those things too where it's just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People like find these like memes that they attach to and they're like, like, yeah, I love them all to that. Look, it's like, here's the true tribunal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like Shayagorath is the mo- the Egg of Zelob's the most... Cringe. Like, that would've done it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can't I just say that like TikTok is just reality though?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's the funny thing, which is like telling us when people are like, Oh, isn't my TikTok like, you know, my, my TikTok is full of insane people and all of these thirst traps and all these kinds of stuff. It's like, why, why, why it's not, are you sure bro? Cause it's actually an algorithm is putting you on that side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of crazy and it's the way everything's going too, like even the YouTube shorts stuff. It's like, I actually, I haven't been on TikTok in a long while, but then like you go on YouTube and sometimes you click on a short and you just see how easy it is to fall back into that like scroll thing on YouTube shorts and you're like, oh, get off it. Like, cause it's a, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My thought is that, uh, Uriel can end time cannot exist without solidifying and identifying that primordial fear of uncontrolled change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If fear is an integral part of Oriel, it gives extra context to the ultimate prejudice and built in xenophobia away from just, oh, we're not gods anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It also deepens the potential validity of the idea that the Echo Oversaw was made.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, it's like there are some theories we get that are like, I like conceptually, but like I'm not sure if there's a lot of grounding, cause I guess that's the way in the monomyth, I'm not even sure about some of the words in that, wording in that with the monomyth or the motivations of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I feel like that's just pulls off, but it's, it's just, it, that's just jumping onto the same thing as the orc, cause the orc is like the, the corrupted elf meme that sort of carries on from Lord of the Rings, which is the exact same thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I guess at the same, at the same time, like, you know, there's a good reason to be that the Bosmer, like if you, without the sort of like straight up just sort of ultimate Somerset Isles and then all of the elves spread out from there, it could be that, you know, the Bosmer were there initially, the elves that predated the, that became the Khajiit were there initially, and then potentially even, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's interesting. If you, if you like, no, but I'm imagining if you look at it in a real literal sense, it's like, you sort of like, cuts open the body of a dead Shazaar and then kills Oriel, but then like sort of stuffs him inside. And then that abomination is Akatosh. And that's why you have the sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So to clarify for people too, like that's, so you have, you know, creation of Akatosh and everything, like Joe was just saying about the Elysia sort of creating that combination of the two. Then you have the Zealot Elysia in order that comes along later. They sort of envision everything as sort of the one and that one kind of being like the sort of Anu Akatosh kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, just as another thing to clarify, I'm pretty sure there is only one actual mention of Shazreen, and it's referencing Pelinal Whitestrait, and Pelinal Whitestrait has gone under names before, such as things like Hans the Fox and Izmir being one of them, but that is not necessarily Izmir Wulfarth, because as you know later, Izmir is a title.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically translating I think to like Dragon of the North that gets applied to Woolfarth, Izmin Woolfarth, but also gets later applied to Typerseptum as well. Uhm, and that's not, you're not sure whether it actually...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is applied to him or whether it is actually about the, the Wolfarth component of that whole Arcturian heresy, but then also, um, you know, when you go and greet the Greybeards as Dragonborn, they say like, Yzmir, all this kind of stuff, like, you know, um, Dragon of the North. So it's not necessarily like, so really the only hard evidence is his Pelinal White Strike.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This was a Shezzarine, and his previous incarnations before, uh, Cards of the Fox and such.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was lightning on his end how quick he just goes boom, boom, boom, boom. But like, it's not like a yes or no response or something. It's like, he's taken what seems like a long theory and then just bullet pointed it. Hey look, if you want a short answer, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Theory, a lab, concise theory statement at the top. This is the new format for everyone. Concise theory statement at the top and you can have a little bit about it and then go into a big chunk of all of your supporting evidence enough after, but make the theory like clear initially. Like if you were thinking,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright. And the hist- yeah, well the histrees-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, so this is the theory, right? The Dwemer, they're time travelers, okay? They went far, been to the past, into other universes and stuff, and that universe is where they became the Histrees, right? But then the Histrees are the leftover from the last twelve worlds of creation or whatever, and one little part, the race of eyes, it's the Histrees. So the Dwemer are the, the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you take away all the bias, am I actually like, okay, I'm going to try and make it work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't think you can. The only concrete, like, evidence is just the easter egg and the brotherhood of steel thing in fight 4 where they have like a Nurnroot looking thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you'd have a better chance, you'd have a better chance saying like other fantasy, like Lord of the Rings and stuff like that are actually like previous Calpas versus some full out canon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it, it, I guess it's pointy, uh, coder in general, their, their idea is that they want to abolish the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talking about whether things are canon or not is already embedded in a canon, non-canon mindset. You just gotta calm, you gotta change to get to the true code of mindset. You gotta understand that canon doesn't matter. It's just, it's not important. It's just like, it's how.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and that's when it kind of becomes kind of like Himeski's speech is like ever slightly paraphrased, one of Kirkbride's writings. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello and welcome to the Triforce podcast. I'm on my own this week, I assume. I don't know where Sips and Lewis are. I'm just sort of, I'm just recording at home and, and I don't know, hanging out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever wonder that, like, I worry about one day all this, you know, internet stuff not working out anymore, and I'll have to go and get a real job, and I'll have to go in, and they'll say, alright Mr. Forsythe, we've had a look at your CV here, and there appears to be a 10 year gap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In employment? What were you doing this time? Just playing games on the internet?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? Yeah. Like you see those guys who were in Star Wars, like you said, like that, and I don't see that as, like, is that great? Is it like, yeah, here's a list of the films I was in. It's like, wow, that was like 30 years ago, those movies. What have you done since? I did some voiceover work on a local radio station advert for a curry house in Chester.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, got a few new computer games, uh, similarly been playing those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I'll fill, get ready to fill your crack with some hot poker story action. Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm going to poker in your crack. Here we go. Sweet. So I did a tournament about, I guess it was about four months ago in London for a betting website called Unibet and they were putting together an e-sports


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you come first, you win £5,000. If you come second, you win £3,000. So I came second, so I was like, fucking hell, 3000 quid for playing a bit of poker, no problem. So I was very happy with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These guys, they're streaming like a big game, like maybe they're streaming CSGO or Hearthstone or whatever, some of them are very big streamers, uh, like Wreckful was one of them, he's a really big streamer, like he makes a lot of money out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I mean, within their respective fields, I think these guys are all pretty well known. I mean, you know, they're CSGO, or Hearthstone, or World of Warcraft, or whatever, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they wouldn't have got invited over there if the Unibet guys didn't think there was some value in it. They're not gonna pick someone with like 10 viewers, are they? So, I think that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like a, you know, a combination of people. So I went out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, flew out there. Malta is not what I expected at all. It's really kind of a weird place. It's like very run down. The hotel was lovely, but outside the hotel it was just all...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know when you go somewhere like on holiday and it's just all construction sites and none of them look safe, all like any construction is going on. It just looks like a bunch of guys standing around smashing concrete and replacing it with more concrete.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And yeaah, it was kind of sad, it's just like, bars and loads of- we went- when we came back at night time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The bars were rammed with these drunken Brits and they were all like covered in blood because they'd fallen down the awkward steps and pavement and I guess they'd been fighting and everything. I was like, man, this place sure is kind of a 1830 resort. Like that was what it came across as to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you imagine that little group of seemingly harmless, like, accountants and middle-aged dudes, and then they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've probably been to about 10 to 12 visits to strip clubs over the, over my, my life. So I've been to quite a few. I've been to ones abroad. I've been to ones in the UK. They're, they're very, every single one of them is completely different. So you think there's like a familiar vibe to a strip club, but every single one is very different.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ones in Bournemouth are extremely expensive. The girls are gorgeous, but they're very kind of standoffish. Whereas if you go up north, they're a lot cheaper and the girls are a lot more friendly, right? And if you go abroad, they detest you because you're like the typical English tourist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like if they had an actual kitchen and you could see the chefs and they were all naked, and you could sit up while they cook, there you go, you could just get someone naked to cook your dinner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I think a lot of it is uhm, like whenever I've been, it's always been with a big group of the lads, if we've gone for an away match, like if we've gone for a, or someone's stag do, or something like that, but,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a strip club that we used to go to when we'd go to a gig up in King's Cross. We'd go to the Scala up there and me and my couple of mates would go to this place called the Flying Scotsman, right, which was a pub.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. So we're in there waiting for the gig and we're having a couple of pints and, uh, this, this, this song comes on talking heads, um, once in a lifetime and all the guys in the pub


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all about our age or slightly older. So this is like their jam, right? You know, we all love this song. Everybody's like singing along to it and everything, which is kind of a weird scene. We're all singing along enjoying the music. And then they stop the music halfway through for the girl to come on and strip. And everybody starts booing because they've stopped once in a lifetime.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you have a look around the red light district like, when you were there? Cause we walked around it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's kind of like me and Mads went there and, uh, we were like, let's come have a look and see what it's like. Cause you know, we were really curious and it really is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a huge amount of admiration for the people that are able to have sex on stage in front of a bunch of people, night after night, never let them down. Like that takes some doing. You gotta be a real couple of good fuckers to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, other than that, uh, the talking heads song, that was what stuck in my head was the disappointment on the stripper's face when, when, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By the way, the pub I was talking about, the Flying Scotsman, has a Twitter account. Okay. This is what it says.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Titty Bar, open Monday to Saturday. Titty Bar! Nice. That is so- that is how old-fashioned this place is. It's called- here are their tweets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 12, Vicky. 2, Carolina. 3, Jessica. 4, Ola. 5, Rose. And then it just says on the 5th of October, we're closed for refurbishment until further notice. They're donezo!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this PM? Yeah, no, it closes at 11, so yeah, this is PM. So if you want to go for a bit of a mid-day strip, Fern, on the 3rd of October, she was there at 11, Lulu! Getting her hair off! 11 AM! She's a pro actor!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly, you know when you see a pub closed for refurbishment, I think generally speaking, what happens is they think they've got the money for it, and then they realize that they don't, and they're just like, well, the place is half done, we're fucked, and that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Hmm. Maybe we should open a strip club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was one in Twickenham, Twickenham had closed down, the piano bar had closed down. People complained, even though it was the most genteel strip bar I'd ever been in, it was kind of, kind of old fashioned actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I always thought the rugby crowd would be the best crowd to have a strip club. Living in Twickenham, a strip club in Twickenham would be, I mean on match days you'd do a fortune, but uh, I think the council is against it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, the hen has to suck the guy's dick. I'm not even kidding. This is things that happen when women go on hen nights. They go fucking nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They will take it to the next level. They really will. We're in the wrong industry, guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was thinking what my market would be and if I go to old people's homes, to them I'm like young. I'm like a hot young guy compared to some 80 year old woman, right? So if I go out there, she'd be like, wow, he doesn't even need a stick to walk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No colostomy bag, you know, this guy's a winner. Pops her teeth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. That's one of my greatest fears, that. You ever been to jail? Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, getting arrested in America and Canada is fucking easy. Like, loads of Americans have been arrested, because you get arrested for anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not cool. You know, have you ever been to, when I had hair, obviously Sips, you can relate to this. Being bald now, I never go to the barbers ever, but I did go there one time for a wet shave to see what it was like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said to me, it was big text, he goes, you want me to deal with the ear hair? I was like, yeah, sure. So he daubs this flammable liquid on my ear, lights it with a lighter and then hits a wet rag on it real quick before it burns my ear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean there are world records and there are world records. If a guy could stick a hundred and eighty darts down his dick, I would pfff. Norris McWhorter, well played sir. That's a, that's an earned record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have thought that there should be an underpants that comes with a kevlar protection.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not a big one on, uh, on pranks. Don't, don't care from. I think they're, they're too, it's too low hanging fruit. You know, we're tricked you. So well done. You caught me out in a simple way. I don't like it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened to the old bucket over the doorway and it's got, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you've got a pretty expanded mind. You seem pretty open to new stuff. You got a pretty expansive one, yes. I got a pretty expanded anus. I never thought of you as close-minded, Lewis. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not once. Cheers, guys. Not after that evening we spent- anything goes, baby. Anything. Anything goes. Whatever happens in- As long as you put two pe-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I just say very quickly, there were, this, this was when the Minions 2 movie came out, and I was in the playground dropping off my kid, and one of the mums there was talking about the Minions movie, and she'd been to see it, and she said, completely straight face, it was the funniest movie she'd ever seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's a 40 year old woman, and the funniest movie she's ever seen, and she wouldn't shut up about it, was the fucking Minions movie. I wanted to just punch her in the face right there, but of course I didn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I just stuck a banana under her foot or whatever the minions would have done, I don't know. Some stupid shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here you go, look, I've just googled minions stuff. Let me give you a rundown here, alright? Keyrings, mugs, watches, t-shirts, obviously, right? Shoes. Bow ties.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Minions high heels! Minions high heels! What's wrong with you? Minions golf balls!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's everywhere. But you know what the weird thing is? As far as that show goes, when my kids watch it, it's kinda sweet, and it's not too obnoxious, and I like that, like they're watching it. The problem is, you go to the toy shop, and tucked away in the pony aisle, is some fucking grown-up who's also buying the pony stuff. Not cool! And I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I go to a restaurant, I have a steak, I have it rare, and I soak up the blood with my chips. That's how I roll. A steak should have blood coming out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a lot of questions about that porn thing, right? So, if I'm looking at a laptop, I'm looking towards a laptop,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you're walking past behind me and you can see the laptop and you can see porn on the laptop, is he like seeing the porn and leaning around to have a good look at her face and then checking out the screen to make sure they- Yeah. I mean if he's just strolling past, that's a pretty quick-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, that's like, some fuckin', uh. That's true, actually, yeaah. That's like, what is he, in the FBI or some shit? Yeaah. He just instantly recognizes you, facial profile checks out. That's her in the movie, alright? We got her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love it, love it. It's got some funky aspects to it. I mean, this is the release version, so it'll be patched to hell over the next few years with DLC and improvements and stuff. But I know the AI does do some funky shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but it's fun, it keeps you on your toes. Like, if you know World War II really well, and, and, like, I, I, I like to think that I know it reasonably well, if you know what's coming, it's kind of like, hmm, let's see how this battle turns out, and see how it varies to history. It's like, okay, I mean, that's fairly interesting if you're into that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it doesn't really stick to history, it's just that the AI tends to focus on the same things it should do historically. But it still does random shit, like Australia will declare war on itself, like random shit still happens. Like Japan is routinely in the games they've been playing, war decked the Russians, and just invaded like from the east.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've got so many more troops there than the Russians. The Russians are desperately trying to move troops across Siberia, which has zero infrastructure, to get to the front. And that's kind of interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and the, you know, the entire of the Middle East goes crazy. There's all, everybody's allies everywhere. And the AI will just say to you, hey, I want to give you 50 divisions of infantry as like an expeditionary force to help out. So you suddenly get this huge,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I come down, we can do a run through, if you like. And I'll tell you what we could do. If you want, when I come down, you can be the general and I can be like your advisor. Okay. And just recommend stuff. But I'd like to, I'd love to see what you think to do and like what you do and what your ideas are. That would be good. I could be like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They streamed a shitload of multiplayer, it looks really good, but it is, uh, there's a lot of, uh, detail to it if you dig down, but it-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the surface, you can manage it a lot more easily. Like the older ones, there was a shitload of detail, but it was just such a pain in the ass to manage. Whereas now, you can really, you genuinely can leave your troops to it on some of the fronts and just be like, you guys handle that, I know, I trust you. And your generals will go, yah, and they'll go do it. It's pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got a, it's got a kind of a Rimworld thing to it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the stuff that happens is, I think what makes it entertaining is this kind of emergent shit. Like you don't realize something's gonna happen and then it happens and you're like, oh my god that happened because of- Oh, they've added so much stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mayonnaise, chicken, bacon, tomatoes, lettuce, and then maybe mustard on the top layer. Really nice bread, like really good farmhouse white bread. But like, I, I, I am kind of a sucker for Subway's Italian BMT. I like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Breakfast sandwich I used to have when I was at work was bacon and brie. And the brie, or it would be bacon and still


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's hot at all, my head just turns into like a sheen, like I get a sweat on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm a pretty sweaty guy, but I love the heat, so I tend to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep the house hot. I like hot days. I'll get out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is where I store my victims. I'll be in the cupboard until you guys are done. I just, I'm uncomfortable in this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. Thank you! We'll be back soon with Triforce Part...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everybody and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast today coming to you from various, uh, men's bedrooms and or garages. Yeah. How you guys doing? It's an office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, just pooping them out. Just hoping to hit the big time. Not really seeing where they go. Just hoping to go viral. I want my eggs to go viral.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] First of all, like, you know, your idea of a short period of time, it's like, it's almost like, you know, you said, oh, there was this other time, as if it was going to be a couple of weeks later, and you said a couple of years. So this is not, I mean, a bi-yearly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we, we would go to my Nana's and I'd be like, you know, oh, I'm not, not very good. And so I would puke in the car all the time and I'd puke out the window and I'd.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They'd have to pull over and I'd puke. I'd be puking all the time. I was, I was, I was a puke. I was a puke. He's a puke. He's a puke. And I was on holiday with my, um, friend from school and we were, we were going, we went skiing and it was nice. I went with her family. Uh, I had a bit of a crush on her, but this is another, this is another story for another time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We went out for a meal, a nice meal on the last day of a skiing holiday. And for some reason, somebody, probably me, like a fucking idiot ordered some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Seafood platter or whatever at this nice restaurant. Of course the nice restaurant was in the Alps. And I think the last place you should order seafood is the Alps.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, the morning after we were obviously on this sort of taxi bus thing back down the mountain and it's, you know, winding on these roads. Cause the mountain roads, they just wind back and forth and it's like super jolting anyway. And also like you've got this terrible vertigo from like looking over the edge. Cause these, these,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and so, you know, I was just getting more and more, more bad and like, I was like, ah, I'm definitely going to be sick here. What are we going to do? And so- And then she was sick as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jeez. No, it's dangerous to get it as an adult. Very dangerous. This is why they have these chicken pox parties. I was taken to a chicken pox party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've all been. Maybe not all of us, but there's lots of some of us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, casinos, it's a weird thing, isn't it? I feel like the slot machines all come from an age before video games. That's what it feels like, they were like the original slot machine where you pull the handle and it spins the wheels.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they are predatory of the, and this is bad to say, I guess, the poorer members of society. They certainly prey on, like the church does, the lower, lower sort of income families and lower classes because they, these people aren't as, as educated necessarily and aware of this stuff. Like, you know, if you, if you want to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want to gamble, there's lots of ways to do it. And the national lottery is no different. I think the national lottery is a real terrible tax on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give, I mean, what do you mean one, three grads? You have to put somebody down to do that. You know, if, if you're gonna, if you're gonna go to a casino every six months and you're gonna put in five hundred.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think the way it works though, if you put in a dollar, that would be a one in five thousand chance. If you put in a five bucks, it would be a one in, um, one thousand chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about you instead, like, you say, okay, I've got, I've won a million pounds on the slots. That's, that's commission. Oh, if I won a million pounds, that'd be different. A series of bodega live action. Oh, I wouldn't even.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if it was, what if he wanted to do something much sicker though, like, like, what if he wanted her to puke on him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's dead. How do you first, like sec, first thing, right? Imagine you went to Vegas with your new, new found million dollars and there was a guy in a bar who was out down his luck with a really hot wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like today with Wall Street, you know, we just can't police that from the fraud that's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine, so imagine you, like SIPs or PFLEX, like you do the indecent proposal, then you get like a token for an indecent proposal with someone else, and then they can use that token for another indecent proposal. So rather than getting paid a million dollars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have like this list of whatever it is, like a lot of people have like a, well this classic like idea of a freebie list or whatever it's called or what's it called where you can, you can have a, you can have an affair with like certain people if they're on this list that you've agreed. I mean no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mary Sue is the, the, the, the character who's inserted by the author as a wish fulfillment. So it's like Hermione is JK Rowling and, um, Bella Swan in Twilight and the people who the author puts them in and loves them. They're perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is more like- Alright, Wesley Crusher, explain Wesley Crusher. I guess just when I see a mirror of period flax in the story, that's what I think of as a very soon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna see if I can take some time to write a bodega.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Does he live in a kind of grimy, minority style apartment?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I couldn't believe it. So sorry if I'm a bit slow this week, so I just, I feel like I've had all of my energy sucked out by the Civilization 5 game we had. Yeah. So, Civil 6, we have actually got, we're actually getting preview copies sent to us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and obviously the multiplayer is going to be a mess at release as it always is. Cause it's such an afterthought. And so we played this to five gamers out sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we're thinking of it as our final Civ 5 game, but I don't know whether Civ 6 will be playable. Does it look like it's going to be good though? It does. It does look very, very good. Yeah. So I'm pretty stoked for it. And then I'm off to EGX tomorrow, which will be good. I do enjoy going to these events, but man, we've done a lot of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my goodness. We should totally, this should totally be like a Mafia, Hitmen, collectible card set. Oh, that would be sweet. You'd love that. Holy crap, right? That is all we've got time for today. Thank you for listening to this podcast. It's a bit of a weird one. Yeah, this was an odd one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I can share with you my, my moments, like, you know, walking along the front and just avoiding the big pile of sick and, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you fucking necessarily would necessarily not be, right? Of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This one time a stick did break my bones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So significant indeed we found an audio log of a 40 year old woman proclaiming that this was the funniest movie she'd ever seen in her whole life. If only we could see this now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could you go back through and touch it up a little bit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On the, on the other end of things is, is a heartthrob for women? No, I think he's just a good lad. You think he's a good guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Caw caw, remember? Caw caw, when we used to live in the sea. Caw caw.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't leave me with sips. He's just gone to get the door, and you're telling me about GI Joe. GI Joe completely must be soaked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The city of Itandale. The young barbarian, mirror, jasmine, shifting, surface, taran blade. With death. Unruly. It's like, what? My boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] LibreOffice, because it's free, and I didn't have Word on this computer, so it's okay. It's a bit funky.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, the Google algorithm recognized it as art. Now listen up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, I'm gonna, I'm gonna level with you, okay? I've grown weary of a lot of the games that I thought would, would keep me busy this year and really absorb me. I'm not gonna start talking about video games. Okay, we're not gonna mention early access.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I really want to play Cities Skylines again, like I love that game. Uhm, but I couldn't, like I'm not the kind of person who can play a game through, get to a point where I'm happy and I'm done, and then immediately restart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I'm like, okay, that's me burned out on that for like a week or two. So I'll play City's and I'll be like really into it and I'll have a great time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll get distracted by something else. That save is gone. I'm never coming back to it. And I'm not going to just immediately go and start another one. Cause I'm still fresh in my mind is all the work I did on the other one. So I'm sort of like, all right, I'll take a break from that then. Because you know, you know, if you have to start again, you have to do all the building the early roads and you start to think, Oh God, I got a plan how to figure out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I'll say, well, how about this? And she'll say, hmmm, actually I think I'll draw an octopus. I'll be like, why'd you ask me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He basically organized like a charity dinner and the guy who was running the dinner, like it's all staged, okay, so everybody there is an actor. Apart from...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, this one guy, the one guy who's been brought in to sort of help out with the, uh, with the thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the charity dinner is basically there's like a hundred really important people there, they're all raising money for charity. And the guy who's giving the speech, like the main guy, has a heart attack and dies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the, the, uh, the organizer of the event says, just put him in, put him in this box. And they basically put the guy in this box, uh, and sort of hide him. Uh, and it's, it's like this whole farcical kind of story, but it's, it's taken very seriously. And for the poor guy caught up in it, it feels very real and like, oh my God, what do we do sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes he is, like the guy basically gets him to be a part of this, what is essentially a crime concealing this body, and then it spirals and gets worse and worse, he has to give a speech.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but worse than that is that the entire time Darren Brown has been planting, like Lewis was saying about planting suggestions, he's been planting ideas in the guy's head about pushing someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That will solve all the problems. Like, it's too complicated and lengthy to go into, but it's a very funny, uh, sort of show. And so the whole point was to try and get this guy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To shove this guy using suggestion, go on, push him, push him, push him up, and he would then push the guy off the top of the building. But the funny thing was that they filmed it with a whole bunch of different people, like it must have taken weeks to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Performer, if you like, uhm, had no idea what was going on, completely bought into it. And it, and it, you know, I think at the end he said like, I can't do it, you guys are crazy. And Darren Brown comes out and it's like, don't worry, we were trying to suggest it to you and you, you know, you didn't. So it's, it was brilliant. It was absolutely brilliant. I think it was called Darren Brown's push or something like that. But anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Something, Debra Brown's something. But it was really good. But the thing with the suggestion was that it was kind of, it seemed like it was so obvious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But of course we know what's being suggested, and if you think about it, the stuff you witness all day long, you wouldn't really be able to decide, wait a minute, how come this is suddenly here? It's like, well, you know, you watch TV, you watch, you know, you're walking down the street, you don't even really notice what you're taking in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's why witnesses, uh, witnesses are so fucking terrible when it comes to solving crimes. The police always say witnesses, uh, like they give them a lead, but if you're relying on a witness in court, think how many court cases the witness is like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I saw him. He was, uh, wearing a red jacket. And, uh, he ran up and he shot the guy through the window of the blue car. And they're like, well...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know it, I know it. You're gonna come in and say like, oh, we can be your friend, and then he's gonna slap his hands on the table and go, give it up!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is when I was at university in Plymouth. This is funny, because this is how crime and the police actually work, right? Like this is my little vision inside what it's like to be a known criminal in Plymouth at this time. So it was about 1996.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you got 20 quid from the police. You just had to turn up. They gave you 20 quid at the end of the line up. You just had to stand there in the line up. So me and my mates went down there. We were shitting our pants because we were going to be within proximity of an actual criminal. And there's all these lads there. We all looked completely different, right? Like we're all like just the most different bunch of people you could imagine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, it was like a large room with a big, like the one-way mirror at one end, and we're all standing there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, these guys would never have been anything but police officers. They've got the build, like this, the big gut, the skinny legs, the mustache, they're like the archetypal British Bobby, like they're just, that's it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were born police officers, they're never gonna be on the internet. And they were like, don't worry boys, alright, he's a bit of a bad egg, this is what we're bringing in today, but we're here to look after you, don't worry. And we were like shitting ourselves because we're thinking they're mocking us already, like the police are making fun of us. How bad is this guy gonna be? And in comes a criminal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's this young lad, real Janna, right? Which, like, he's a real chavvy sort of, uh, Plymouth guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he comes in and he's like, I don't even know where you fucking got me in here, I ain't done nothing. I don't know, this is a load of bollocks, this is bollocks. He said, none of this even look like me. Look at that, they're all a foot taller. And it was true, we were all like a foot taller than this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The crime that he'd apparently committed was that he had sort of got in a fight with some guy, uhm, and like in a shop. And he'd caused a lot of trouble and they were basically trying to bust him for this. So he's standing there and the police officer's like, you can hear the speaker from the other room because they have to tell the criminal what's going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he was just like, he was, he was knobbing about already, like he was sort of, he was furious, cause he obviously realised that it was a fit, a fit up, right? Right. Cause he, I mean, they didn't pick anyone to look down on, they didn't like him, so we all turned to the left, we all turned to the right, we were standing there, and then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, like, the cop is obviously saying, look, grow a pair of balls and ID this guy, please, and we can lock him up, and you wanted to see him for a few months, so just, you know, don't be such a pussy. Don't be a P55Y. So eventually the cop goes, the witness has now retracted his retraction and has identified number four as the suspect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He looked like the kind of guy that would be like, you know, not a day goes by where he's not smashing someone's window. Yea, lots of acne scars and stuff. Yea, that kind of guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys, I'm alone in the house. Can we chill? I'm alone in the house, alright? I know what you did last summer, Flex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No you don't. What did I do? What did I do last summer?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, maybe me? I played some Hearts of Iron for it last night. Oh. We did a multiplayer game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I'll give you a quick, a quick summary, okay? So, there was, I didn't set up the game, my friend Monticus set it up. So, it wasn't like I, you know, I wasn't inviting people, it was just open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the, the, I mean, it was, it was a great, it was a great game, like 15 players, and we had all kinds of rules in place, like, you can't flip from one side to the other, because the previous time we did it, the UK went fascist instantly, and joined the axes, which is obviously bullshit, and it was just kind of stupid, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, there, there were some issues, um, with balance there. So this time it was different. We had Japan in the game, for instance, you know, we had like Iran, someone played as Brazil, uh, Mexico, France, uh, Soviet Union, Germany, obviously, uh, Greece.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was great fun. I was Italy, uh, and I decided that because National of Spain was, was a player and we finished, we won the civil war in like a couple of weeks because me and me and Germany sent tanks. Monticus was Germany.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we sent him tanks. He, he only built, I think, two or three units of tanks in the whole war. He just used all land. Just, just dudes. Right. And, he, he... As Germany? Yeah. So he constantly stacked...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 to 25, sometimes 30 units in a province because he just, his management was awful. But because it was so early in the war, France had nothing, Britain had nothing, and the Americans only had their, they joined the allies very quickly because they were still in the Great Depression. They had no ability to build anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nationalist Spain quickly joins, uh, I'm in there and I decided to dedicate much of my time to taking over Africa. So I'm fighting the Brits and the French in Africa and we're kicking their ass there. Germany takes out Poland in like a week, uh, doesn't do the Molotov-Rubin trot with the Soviets, uh, because it was still like 1937 at this point.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Soviets didn't have an army that they could attack with. It was just kind of shitty. The French didn't have any army, but the Americans and the Brits landed all their troops in France. We quickly took France, and we must have killed about 40 or 50 units. They couldn't get them out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The B English guy was like, I should get my troops out of here, guys. And his allies were like, no, you coward, you must stay and fight. And of course they all died. Because once you get them surrounded, they just disappear. Took France. They had nothing. So the allies did nothing for the next two years. It was just Germany versus the Soviet Union.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and me having the slog of that is fighting in Africa and the Japanese fight in the Chinese. So it was just this sort of grind. Such a typical parts of iron games. Yeah, it really was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, obviously he wouldn't have airplanes, but I guess he'd have dragons? No, no, you wouldn't even need-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was also, I think they used it for the sound of the TIE fighter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nooo. You know what annoys me a lot about movies? I hate the fact that the Wilhelm scream is put into movies. It takes you right out of that moment. Cause I was watching, uhm, Two Towers the other day. You know, Lord of the Rings, Two Towers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think he said, hey, period, you're a shithead. I think that was what he said. Something like, something about, the word shithead was used in relation to me. I don't know Robbie M13. I've never met the guy. I've never spoken to him, conversed with him. Don't call me a shithead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People were shitting me, they were calling me plebs in your chat because I didn't have a sword. You gotta have a sword.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I just, I would like people of every political persuasion to just look at some of the stuff that's happening when it comes to things like prisons and privatization of the prisons and stuff. And you have to see how if the tables were turned and people were getting nicked for being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have to be able to look at it dispassionately and logically and say how can you privatise prisons because the incentive then becomes easily corruptible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is an obvious piece of corruption that will inevitably happen, and it's not okay. It doesn't matter whether you agree with what people looked up for or whether you think they're bad people. You've got to accept the rule of law.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and decency and that, that's, you know, it's a terrible thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's much easier. I think a lot of the problems that we see in society are because most people want a quick solution. Something needs to be done. It needs to be done now. And politicians are not going to say, here's our 20 year plan. Cause people will say, well, if you don't win the next five elections. They're not around for 20 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she does, I mean, but it's, if you're not familiar with it, I guess it sounds really weird, but think about like, um, what was his, what was that actor's name? Cary Grant? He had a weird kind of accent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's Chowder. Chowder! Yeah, I was watching it the other day with my kids, and it was like, I don't let them watch anything past season 10, and they get quite upset when, like, a new episode comes out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then it's like, the Simpsons are going to Brazil, and it's going to be a series of shit jokes, and Homer stopped being funny, and the show stopped having a core that was about the family, and became just, how can we insert a celebrity into this episode? Like for instance, we watched an episode,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where they go to like band camp and learn to play the guitar and stuff and it's like, the, the, they all go there and the Rolling Stones are in the episode and, and like, a bunch of other people are in the episode, musicians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's fucking awful. It's a fucking awful episode. And that is indicative of everything. For me, past season 10, if you look at these plots in Opsis, it gets more and more bonkers. And they're just not funny. The jokes are not funny. The continual, like, in jokes are not funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they led references to that, they made jokes of like, I mean there are a lot of Mad Magazine references, a lot in The Simpsons. When we watch a bunch of them in a row from that particular era, there's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, when he left and Matt Groening left and also the original producers of the show, like James L. Brooks and Sam Simon and guys like that, they had been around doing sitcoms and TV and comedy for a long time and they were very, very funny guys. And then they all, like, Matt Groening went off to do Future Armor and stuff like that, didn't he? So that became his focus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and just people, like the original crew stopped doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's ridiculous, but for me, it's stopped being good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's where the change happened for me, right? So just, it was in its element. Season's like two onwards. Season one is okay. I know this is into Simpsons chat, but this is like one of my absolute favorite topics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The one, the one where Lisa becomes a vegetarian and Homer has a barbecue and, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very good episode, right? I'm trying to sum it up badly. But if you look at the list of episodes, they're brilliant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 22 films about, short films about Springfield, which is one of the best episodes they ever did. That's like that series of very short, uhm, like two, some of them are like two minutes long, like it's like a series of episodes that revolve around one character very briefly. So it's like uhm, there's a bit that's like out of uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're like really good episodes with stories and everything like that. Season 8 was great, I mean you just look, there's a ridiculous number of good episodes in there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was good. But then season 10, you can see the change.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a very Canadian sounding name actually. So he left in 93 and the show took over on Nickelodeon like you said, but so they wanted to keep him, but he left. And the thing is he was kind of important, I think, but I really liked the guy who voiced it. What was his name? Something West. What was it? Billy West.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said that his problem was that nowadays, because it's all celebrities,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's not the voice acting talents. It was literally, okay, now I'm Will Smith and I'm a giraffe. I'm Will Smith and I'm a shark. I'm Will Smith and I'm a puppy. But it's still Will Smith. He doesn't do anything. It's just him. You instantly go, oh, that's Will Smith's voice. But that doesn't make it better. Like, if you think about the- I instantly know the character of Zack Brannigan just from the voice acting. They didn't just get-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. So this is short, it's very loosely written, like obviously I didn't have a lot of time because I was writing the rest of it, but so it is what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, I'll go for it, people, like, I would rather put out a mediocre bodega than no bodega, because I know people will lose their shit, and all I'll have for the next week is messages saying, where's bodega, so. It's okay, it's alright, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you thought tartania was rough, hey, noo, what's your mooth pal? said Rab, bristling and turning towards Nebesh. Tartania is very nice around the old castle bet, but Nebesh just bit into a porb fruit and carried on staring his computer screen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kytos is down there somewhere, said Bodega. The Kytos? asked Rab, turning back to Bodega. Yep, said Bodega, sighing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] War 1 is unique in the galaxy for a few reasons. Firstly, it's home to a white hole, the reverse of a black hole, and the white hole exists inside the artificial planet War 1.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The sphere surrounds it and draws power from it. As a result of its proximity to the white hole, however, time moves so fast, about 600 times faster, that while we've been having this conversation, around an hour and 40 minutes has passed down there, said Nebesh, pointing at the angry black planet staring at them through the viewport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's impossible, said Rab. We would have been talking for about 30 seconds, eh?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, for us, one month. But for them, around 600 years. Rab's mouth was just sort of hanging open. War 1 was an extremely hot ticket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The other ships in orbit weren't traders or troops, they were spectators. A raid around the planet were satellites that acted as relays, providing close-up footage of the action taking place below, and passing on news stories and communications broadcast from the surface.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It all had to be slowed down to match the time outside the influence of the White Hole, so there were literally years of footage to be reviewed, and the eager fans of the war were lining up to do so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As the surfaceese people had launched a stunning preemptive attack against the insidians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Early escapists from the war confirmed the beginning of the saga, but now with the war in full flow, few dared to go back down. Either because they didn't want to get blown up, or because of the time slip effect. As such, the arrayed audience were on the edge of their seat regarding the upcoming storming of the royal Insidian palace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So why is this Kytos down there anyway? The blasted fool, said Reed, who was reclining on a couch in the lounge area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kytos was Sigiles, a race of beings who were seemingly unaffected by the passage of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to generally accepted sigilese mythology, they had existed since the beginning of time itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it didn't respond. Instead it broadcast a hail to every ship in orbit. Nebus joined the vast conference call and there was Kytos on screen, battle scarred and weary looking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Harry Kytos, he said. Greetings, friend Bodega. It is your honor to see Kytos again, said Kytos. Got a little proposition for you. What say we meet up somewhere more friendly, said Bodega. Sure, I've got nothing else on today, said Kytos. Okay, see you in a few, said Bodega.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that they've figured out if you took all the material in the solar system and were somehow able to repurpose it, you could get one that surrounded our star out to a distance of one AU and it would be a thickness of about 20 centimeters. So you could completely surround it. So obviously it would be, you'd have to make it


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Theoretically, uhm, very, very impressive as a sort of future race place to live. But, uh, yeaah. They don't exist. Although they do think that that sun that had a weird wobble might have had some megastructure like a Dyson Sphere around it. Uhm, so.


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[Assistant] Hi everybody, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. It's been a while and it's, it's Lewis' fault. Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah. Yea, yea, he was away on vacation and he had to like go do some skiing or something, I don't know. I prefer Lewis is to blame. You know what Lewis is like.


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[Assistant] Nice. You guys finally went on your skiing trip. The one that like Shin has been talking about for three years. Solid.


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[Assistant] Okay, so I'm back from my, my, my vacation that I, it was a really lavish one too, I bet you've never been on one of those, is that like your opening thing?


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[Assistant] This sounds so outlandish, you have to, like, you, honestly, you have to record it to prove it now. Because I don't believe it at all.


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[Assistant] Can we keep in the gym now? Let's, can we get, uh, what, four? Five times maybe?


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[Assistant] Don't choke him. That's really personal. I think if you are gonna murder someone, shoot him from like 300 meters away or something. Like don't fucking choke him or stab him. That's even worse. That's nasty.


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[Assistant] Man, just like, just get a sniper rifle or a hunting rifle or something and do it that way.


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[Assistant] If I'm, if I'm gonna go, I just wanna be vaporized. Vaporized? I don't even wanna know where it comes from, I want it to be like, instantaneous, I don't want there to be any chance that I'm gonna survive with like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want to be vaped? I want to be vaped. I want to just- I can do it. I want to disappear into a cloud instantly. I don't want any like, residual like, oh.


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[Assistant] He made it somehow, but he can't use his arms or his legs ever again, or anything like that. I don't want that shit, like I just- When I go, I wanna go. I wanna go big.


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[Assistant] Same, same with like a really bad crash, like if you were in a plane and it crashed in the ocean, or like somewhere in the middle of nowhere, vaporize me at that point. I do not want to be, I do not want to survive that, because that is even worse, I think, than, than dying, like, you know, fucking...


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[Assistant] Having to like hold on to a piece of the wing and float to shore over the course of two weeks or something like that, you know, in shark infested waters and it gets dark and cold in the Atlantic Ocean or the Pacific, I guess. You know what I mean? Like I'm not that survivor. That's not me. Just, just.


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[Assistant] Just vaporize me every time, okay? I don't wanna like, black out in fear or anything like that. I just wanna be vaporized. That's all you can hope for, I think.


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[Assistant] Your brain is crazy, okay? Your brain does some weird stuff and part of your brain's way of coping is to just sometimes cause you to black out. It'll just do that.


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't think that you're getting choked during a tw- a two kilometer drop from a plane that's just broken up in midair.


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[Assistant] Of course she doesn't undo the seatbelt, she's in the, in the position, the crash, crash position, you know, like when you put your hands-


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[Assistant] Man, it's not, it's not a fucking episode of Road Runner where he's falling down and he busts out the picnic basket and, you know, plays the violin and stuff. Like, she's just screaming the whole time.


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[Assistant] And the piranha infested river and everything. But there was this really fucking annoying guy badgering me to start masturbating the whole time I was surviving. That was the worst part.


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[Assistant] Fuck me man. Like we're joking, but holy shit. Like I hope, I hope that woman is not listening to us talk about her right now because that's really.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you did a good job there. And they saved her arm. And they saved her arm, by the way. Not sure about the logic behind getting in the river, but still.


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[Assistant] No, there's no way. I would just, I would, I would hope that I landed in a tree and I'd stay up in the tree and I'd wait for like some people to come by, you know, like, you know, some intrepid explorers or whatever and I'd call down, I'd say, Hey,


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[Assistant] My plane broke up and the canopy broke my fall. I've been up here for a year. I need some help. And that's how I would get out of the- get out of the- I'd be dead. Man, I wouldn't even start walking. Like, I would be so fucking scared. Of like, everything that happened and everything that was ahead of me as well.


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[Assistant] Honestly I think I would have died mid-air though, I would have blacked out and died probably.


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[Assistant] Have you ever tried a shisha though? They're nice, man. They're really good.


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[Assistant] It's like a, it's like a tobacco, it's like a scented or flavored tobacco puck that you put at the top.


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[Assistant] It's nice, it's really nice. It's like, it's, it's, it kind of, it, it feels a bit like vaping, actually. But it's like this huge, gigantic, uh, like Middle Eastern apparatus instead of, uh, you know, just a little trendy pen or whatever.


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[Assistant] It's like the shit that they put in cigarettes. Fuck me. Like tar and everything in there. Like it's, it's awful.


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[Assistant] What restaurant did you go to, McDonald's? What'd you get? 30 chicken nuggets.


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[Assistant] Man, if you're gonna smoke weed, that's what you gotta follow up with. You gotta, you gotta get like 20 cheeseburgers for 99 cent cheeseburgers or something.


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[Assistant] You guys were smoking a vape, Smithy's vape that was given to him that had weed juice in it. This is the story.


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[Assistant] The girl- the girl that played Punky Brewster was Blossom though, right? Or did they just look-


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[Assistant] They look similar though, right?


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[Assistant] Okay, Punky Brewster, now 2016, images.


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[Assistant] Is she recently pregnant? There's lots of pictures here of her pregnant.