[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's like certain shows that did really well over here, like my wife says that like Roseanne used to be on all the time over here. It was like, it was pretty popular. Uh, like the Cosby show, but I guess the Cosby show is pretty popular, like more or less everywhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if it's on sometimes it'll occasionally make me laugh, but I would never like follow it religiously. Friends and Seinfeld and shows like that are just still in like massive syndication in the US. They're like on TV all the fucking time. Fresh Prince of Bel Air as well. Oh God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty good. It's like, it's weird, I remember...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've probably said this like many times, but I remember like growing up on Thursday night, you had, it was, it was crazy, like primetime TV on a Thursday night, you had New Simpsons, when Simpsons was like pretty good, you had New Friends and then New Seinfeld, like those three shows, huge shows, all with like new episodes on a Thursday night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it, yeaah, I guess everybody just, yeaah, watches it like whenever. Like I barely watch any TV now. Like I just watch stuff on the internet like all the time now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's weird cause like, cause there's a, like a four year difference between my two kids. Like my son wants-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think my son would be up for watching different stuff now. You know, like, I don't think he necessarily would just sit around watching kids TV all day. Like he wants to watch stuff on YouTube. He's got this friend at school who's like obsessed with Five Nights at Freddy. So he comes home every day and he's like, Hey dad, can I watch Five Nights at Freddy? I'm like, no, don't fucking watch that one. You don't want to watch that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one that's like scares people and people scream or whatever. So like my son doesn't know what it is. He has no idea. Like he's never seen any videos of it on YouTube or whatever. He just has this friend at school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, but listen, they have fucking toys of it now in the toy store. So like, so we go to the toy store and he sees this stuff and we're like, alright, you wanna get something? You wanna maybe get like a transformer or something? Like, you know, we went, we took him to the toy store to get him something cause he had like some vouchers that he got for his birthday from like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This fucking ant who lives in like Croatia or whatever. Uhm, and so we took him and we were like, you want to get like a Star Wars guy or something? And he's like, no, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, look what they have. Like what? Like looking around, there's like My Little Pony and stuff, and then I fucking see it. It's like, just, just stupid fucking bear from Five Nights at Freddy's, like, that's, that's Timber or whatever his name is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think so. I think these are genuinely like kids things, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not sure. I honestly, I don't know and, and you know what, I'm never going to find out either because I don't, I don't really care either. I just, I, I don't know how it's like, it's like the hype of something that gets kids obsessed with it. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like there's like better things that he could be into.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, maybe not that specific part, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like pretty cool. Like, you know, it's probably better than Five Nights at Freddy's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, to be like a corrupt, like a fel, my fel child. It's all thanks to this other kid's older brother who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just interesting how, how obsessed they can get about things that they know literally nothing about. Like I guess they just like the idea of it or maybe they like that, you know, that their friend tells them about it or whatever, but it's such a powerful thing that they want to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't really predict it. It's, yeaah, it's really weird, but uhm, but like because there's a gap, my daughter is still very small, she's like 17 months old, so, and she's just starting to now recognize characters like on, you know, CBBs or whatever, uhm, so we generally still have that on all the time, sort of thing, because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, poor animator, my ass. You know how many fucking views this shit gets on YouTube? Like these people are minted making like baby shows and nursery rhymes and stuff. Fuck me, it's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody's got an, like an iPad or some sort of tablet at home, and everybody uses them now to like, you know, just control their kids somewhat. Like if they need a minute to like do the dishes or they need to make a phone call or something, you just shove your kid on a tablet and say, oh here, listen to industry vibes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're the same, we don't really have anything that we hook them into sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, occasionally like if they're, you know, especially like when they're really young, right? Like my daughter is still like really young, so like she wants to walk places now. Right. If she, if she's got it in her mind that she's walking somewhere and you're trying to get her into like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it, it's, it's like, it like grapes cut in half, but we make it look more interesting by putting it into like a container that's got like two lids and stuff like that. So then she's like woooo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god. Yeah, there'd be no dinner, locked in the garage, like everything. I'd be pissed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, we never, we never need to raise our voices. Like, like my, my wife has the fucking death stare down pat. Oh wow, I wish I had that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just start counting, yeaah. And sometimes I do it from like 20 and they just start going crazy. Like if they're being too loud or something I'm like NINETEEN! EIGHTEEN! And then they're just sort of like ooooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Man, I have no time for other people's kids though. Like, I don't wanna fuckin' know. Like, they come up and they talk to me or something, I'm just like, whatever. I'm not talking to them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are fucking awkward. I took my son to a birthday party and this woman was like, oh, you know, your son and my son, they get on so well. It's so sweet, isn't it? Oh yeah, I know. It really is like watching them play and stuff. And she's like, you know, we should set up a play date one time. I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh jeez, I mean, we are busy, like, we have a lot of shit to do, sorry. Uhm, yeaah, it's awkward, like, and there's no, there's no, there's not really any way to make it not awkward either, because the only thing you have in common with this person that you know of is that you've both,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they might be into some really weird shit, like they might have musical taste that really offends you, or maybe, you know, they might be racist and you don't know it yet and stuff, like there's lots of risks involved with paydates, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hate that too, you gotta tidy up a little bit too, cause you don't want them to think that you're slovenly, but like, you know, you're just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you have a house that's filled with kids, like, it's not, it's, it's, it's not a beautifully clean, organized house. It's gonna be messy, there's gonna be shit everywhere. It's a dump. Yeah, it's not a dump. It's not a dump.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some kids are really ralphy though, like projectile, like, you know, drop of a hat sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, it's no joke being sick at school though. I remember one time when I was, I must have been 11 or 12. We had a school that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the suburbs, the suburbs like exploded, right? In the 80s. Like they just, they, they sprawled and sprawled and sprawled and sprawled. So what happened was in a lot of the schools in the suburbs was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, they have like a whole new development of houses, but you're talking like hundreds of houses, right? And then all of a sudden, the minute they were done, boom, like all the, they would fill up with people, right? And all those people were mostly families with kids, and those kids would have to go to school, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the schools couldn't really accommodate for them, uh, because the schools were like a set size, designed for the population of the suburbs at the time it was built, which is like 15 years before this and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what happened was we had a lot of like, uh, like portables, like, you know, those classes, like they're like, uh, like mobile classes almost. They were just like these boxes and like a big truck could just like bring them in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And set them up like outside of the school, like in a field. So we had tons of these like portable classes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like we must have had like 10 or 15 of them. And they were, they were like, they were classrooms, but they, you just had to walk outside to them and they had like these little steps and go up into them and they were just these boxes like raised up off the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, that had electricity and everything in them and stuff as well. But they were like, they were like really sort of isolated, uh, like contained like little units. So, and there was like 30 people in my class. And one day my friend Mike got sick in class, okay, and he barfed all over the floor. It was really, really gross. And it stunk. Super bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they had to come in, they had to evacuate the portable that we were in and we had to go like finish our lesson in another class. And they had to like decontaminate the portable and they had to put some stuff down. And I'm not even joking for the rest of the year. I think the rest of the time is at that school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Particular portable just stunk of barf. It was unbelievable. It was overwhelming. Like I felt like puking every time I went into it and I had like three classes in that thing like every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was the worst. Like you'd get used to it after you were in it for a while, but then if you went outside, like to go to the bathroom or something, and then you came back, it would hit you all over again. It was like getting hit repeatedly by a train.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 50 times throughout the day, it was, oh, it was awful. God, it was so bad. I don't know what, what happens. Like maybe it's like the, like the stomach acid or something just gets stuck in the fibers of the carpet. I don't know, but they can't get rid of that smell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was super disruptive. He would like make fun of like teachers and stuff. And I remember this one time we were in class and we were in a portable and he was like, miss, miss, can I, I need to go to the bathroom really bad. It's an emergency. Can I go to the bathroom? She's like, yeah, okay, JJ, go to the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because there's no bathrooms in these portables, right? So you'd have to leave the portable, go outside, go into the school building to go to the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you're trying to like, trying to like keep it under wraps but you can't? Ah shit, that was really good. Ah fucking JJ man. I wonder what he's up to now. He's probably in jail. He's probably homeless or in jail.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. I-I-I read an obituary for one of my teachers, my primary school teachers. Right. Uh, like, it was a couple years ago. So, like, somebody I went to school with sent it to me. And they were like, hey, fuck you, you'll never believe it, like, this guy, he passed away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I read it and I was like, oh shit. And like, you know, you read about this, you know, he was my teacher for like a whole year. And uhm, the memories just came flooding back. It was crazy. And then I sort of remembered that like, it wasn't really that great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you find out all these people have obviously moved on with their lives, like a lot of people get married, have kids, move away from the place that you used to live in and stuff, myself included.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You, you sort of like settle into a life in, in, in your, in your midlife, I guess, right? And so like, when we were kids, these teachers were probably just like pushing 30 or whatever. And then, you know, if they, if they didn't want to move on and get another job or whatever, you know, that was their career and they were there, then,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Odds are they're probably still there and they're probably gonna retire, uh, from there doing the same thing. It's nuts to think, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think everybody's just gonna be a YouTuber or a streamer or, you know, an Instagram God or whatever. And, and yeah, nobody wants, they're like a lot of these like jobs, like teaching, like nursing and stuff. Like nobody wants to fucking do those jobs anymore.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but man, think about it, like, people must think that of us to some point now. Like, a lot of people would have watched, like, Louis and Simon playing Minecraft and stuff when they were like 13, and now that they're like 19, they might come back and be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm ready. Part 19. What about 19 arino? How about adding arino to the end of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hi everybody, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Here we are, it's been a long time. How long has it been exactly? Three weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know why they build them big? Okay? Because old G.O.D. is up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe we're winning? I don't know. They've forgotten about us. We haven't had any, any intel or radio coms with the, with the, with the mainland for well, about 30 years now. You know, you know those guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next week I'm in Vancouver for our Miss Two podcast, we're gonna Miss Two podcast, yeaah. So there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Down in Bristol. Oh yea, we're on a road trip this week. Road trip. We walked, uh, we walked in together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We chatted about his, cause I saw him, and he was stood outside the hotel on the, on the side, on the side of the road, just looking gorgeous, like, oh, dreamy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's quite raggedy. So I looked at him and I was like, oh man, he's looking real, real dishy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, I got closer and I thought, oh my God, actually it's a bit, it's a bit out of control. And then as I got closer, I realized it's just basically a real bit of a mess. So I was like, first of all, I said, you look good from a distance. And then I was like, you need to get a trimmer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And trim, trim that, trim that down. Yeah. And then we got chatting about how, um, basically, what is it, your dad is a gorilla or something? He's pretty hairy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think it's, it's cartilage, isn't it? So cartilage always keeps growing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ah shit. Common, common thing you didn't excuse for. He's a drain fucker. Oh my god. Oh my god. So now I was like, you should get a beard trimmer and just go over your whole body. Just do the whole thing. Get it nice and even. No, you can't do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, you just trim it all down to like a stub, like a, like two, two millimetres.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What does she hate about it? The fact that it makes you look like a terrible hobo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But sometimes it goes the other way, right? Like sometimes she gets used to you having you with a beard and then when you shave the beard off she's like, oh, don't like it without the beard now. You know, I think it's her, you know, it can change. She might, her taste might change. If you can make the beard stylish sips, if you can like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, groom yourself a bit and be slightly less like a guy who's just crawled out of a sewer. A skip. A dumpster. Yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What were you doing in there? I was fucking the dumpster. That's what happens. That's what happened with, um, with Terps, I think, and his wife, cause he, he, um, he, he, she originally liked his like, cause he had that very thin line beard, didn't he? Do you remember? And she really liked that. And then he grew it out. What's that known as?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do people, like, do hairy people wax their whole bodies? Like, I could imagine them, it would be a bit of an experience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He bumped into us and was like, oh my god, it's you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it normal for a woman to shave her arms?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Normal in what culture, Lewis? Is that just, is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She can't do that. Could you tell him to go fuck himself? The way you've got to shut up, P-Flex. The way you've got to do it, okay, is gently like, oh my, she's got very smooth arms, you know, like pointing at like a model in a magazine kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not wrong, P-Flex. Like, oh my god, there's such a long list. You've gotta like, do- you gotta exfoliate and cleanse and scrape your tongue. You've gotta like, whiten your teeth and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trim your nails and fucking file them with a special thing, you gotta like rub stupid fucking vitamin D stuff into your hands, you gotta use hand cream, you gotta like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah. First of all...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not actually that difficult to shave your balls. Secondly, there's like, there's like, there's like two stages of, of like, cause basically the whole point of, of your ball sack, I feel like I should educate you, is because your, your balls are supposed to be kept at like a specific temperature. Yeah, yeah. Right? And so there's two, there's two different, like there's, there's saggy, saggy normal balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's this like, when it's cold. There's room temperature balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. Yeah, and your sack just becomes this empty Sainsbury's bag blowing in the wind kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess that's probably because, you know, yeaah, we're just not born for it. We're not, we're not this climate, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's exactly that. In the last, yeaah, we've described our balls, but shall we just carry on? I'm enjoying it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh shit. Well, good, good for you guys. No, shaving your balls, just, it's a thing. You can do it if you want. Don't shave your balls. Man, who's looking at you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if I'd seen that at the end of summer, after you walk down the high street and there's like, just naked men, all like, topless men everywhere, you know, walking around in, it being this summertime, all of these tattooed,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I'd seen that Hatfields Valentine's movie at the end of summer, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid probably about tropia naked. But now, I'm like bloody hell, I haven't seen a nipple for like ages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like, uh, a little, I don't know, there's something a little bit, a little bit more exciting about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of someone I know, yeaah, it's like a little bit secret, you know, a little bit special.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you, uhm, would you take part in, like, a, uh, calendar, a Yogg's cast swimsuit calendar, if we did one, right? It would be tastefully done, it would be like the calendar girls calendar, do you remember where they did the calendar girls calendar?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then you have two big jugs of milk and you kind of, you know, you hide behind those, you know, tastefully. Like that Austin Powers movie at the start. Do you remember that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so I think it would be, people know what I mean, that big scene where he's naked but, you know, he's kind of got like a big hole of fruit in front of him or whatever. Yeah, so we'd have to, we could do it like that, PFLAG, so you could decide how much you want to show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not, I'm not suggesting, I'm not asking you to do it, I'm just wondering whether you would be up for it. I don't know if we're, are we that hard up?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting his, getting his guns out. Big ol' dab bottle. Smithy, he's got a good ol' bottle of him. You know, so I'm thinking like already there's like five or six, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would be, it would be something that would go up here and- Be a real, real sausage party. Do you remember when I went back in like a garage, a seedy, like a local, illegal garage? Yeah. They would be, they'd have a sexy girl cat on the wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? And I, I assume that still, that still is a thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But would you cut a page 3 out and stick it on the wall in your garage? No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not thinking about being in it, but I was just, it was a thing that was, uhm, posted on the Reddit for a while and everyone was keen to see us embarrass ourselves. And I just wondered whether, because you know, it could be done tastefully guys. Like, you know, it doesn't have to be like full nude. You don't have to like get your fucking dick out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Table that for discussion in future. Holy shit. Oh my god. So have you guys done anything good this week? Anything fun? Anything unusual?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, I think Sips's point was that, you know, maybe by not calling him up on it and not like actually, you know, taking him down a peg, you've stopped that family, that murderer from just going loose, you know, for an, you put it off for another year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuck. Did like, did Jim Davis just go through some sort of weird?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like sometimes, sometimes stuff does make you laugh. I mean, I think people who end up having to do the same old shit every day do hate stuff. Like I remember Arthur Conan Doyle is the famous one who hated Sherlock Holmes. He really hated him and like tried to kill him multiple times and he got really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just sick of how, I think he was, in a way, like, very jealous. Like, well, I think one of the things that Arthur Cohn had all said was that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, one of the worst things that can happen to me in my life is that Sherlock Holmes is what I'm remembered for kind of thing or something like this. You know, uhm, you know, and fuck what else, no one knows anything else he did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's more to do with because Sherlock Holmes is out of copyright now. Do you know what I mean? It's one of these things before. And so people can make any old shit. That's why there are so many Sherlock Holmes things, because all the original books and the name is out of copyright. And see that, that's, it's one of these things that happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just before Disney and since Disney everything has been fully locked down on the copyright and no one can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well a lot of the Disney stuff came from non-copyrighted stuff, you know, that they used a lot, a lot of the big Disney franchises that are now very well known as Disney were based on stuff that was previously non-copyrighted.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really kind of like succinct, you know? Really nice, nicely chosen, not wasting too many words. I'm lucky, I'm lucky to laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well listen, thank you everybody for the Travels podcast this week. I hope you, uhm, hope you enjoyed it. We'll see you next time. Thanks! Cheers! Peace!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's an illusion though. I think Discord has like literally 50 million dollars of funding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well, compared to the gigantic monster of Microsoft, but it's, it's not like it's, it's a little friendly startup made by, you know, little, little pals. It might have been at some point, but it certainly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which means a lot of people will sign up just for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's basically just Twitch, uh, Amazon throwing money at Twitch. And that's, that's really what it is. It's like, Hey, you guys, we're going to throw a shitload of money at you. A bunch of people already do Prime, but you know, we're going to get new signups for this. You guys are going to see a chunk of this. We're going to, we're going to just pay streamers. That's, that's kind of what it's, what it is. And that's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the other thing that Twitch has definitely maintained is this layer of amateurism, right? This layer of kind of everyone, even the biggest guys are still, have no support, although they appear to have no support structure behind them, they're not in an office doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The opposite of YouTube really in a sense because YouTube is more like watching a TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus Christ. They put adverts on during the football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, this has been a topic forever and it's like, you know, do women actually care? Uh, most of the time, like, and I think 99% of men fall within the average.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, this week I've been watching various movies and TV. Okay. Kind of catching up. I had a, I had a long weekend and I was just sitting around watching stuff and, and I downloaded a load of, um, sort of first episodes of a lot of series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Baymax. Big Hero 6. Big Hero 6, I've really enjoyed because there's a lot more than I've enjoyed some of these AAA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everyone these days is, I mean, like even like this year, like Kubo and the Two Strings, Jungle Book, Zootopia, these are like great, great movies actually, and they're kids movies, but I think they're, I've enjoyed them like way more than a lot of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it good? Yeah, I don't want to say this thing is particularly bad. Lots of tits, lots of, uh, shooting people. Fuck yeah dude, I'm already there. I, I mean like, yeah, that's great. Great. Just what I want. I love a bit of, um, ooh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. But I love it. I do too. So yeaah. Which you should fan. So yeaah. Check those out if you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've also been trying to finish off Deus Ex, which has been quite slow. I played it in a really odd way. I sort of realised I was right at the end of it and I hadn't actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I've pretty much only killed like one or two people in the whole playthrough by just not wanting to be killing people that I don't consider to be bad. I didn't want to go, I don't know, it made me feel like I didn't want to go on some sort of murderous rampage. Sometimes I don't mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they've remastered it so many times now that actually it's not terrible. People have such a, such a love and a community around that game where Deus Ex doesn't have that. You know, Half-Life ended up getting basically rebuilt from the ground up in Source Engine and all sorts of other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they're talking about making a portal movie, do you hear this? That'll be cool because they need to use that portal franchise more. I think it's such a cool universe. You know, if they're not going to do another game or any other stuff with it, I think a movie is a really awesome thing. It almost writes itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, just going back to Paul too, I think, I think some of what made it special was that they, it felt like the voice acting was just amazing. You know, having J.K. Simmons do Cave Johnson for me was like one of the biggest parts. And also having Stephen Merchant do the, um, doing the Wally guy. Yeah. One of his name was Willie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] of putting a lot of effort and a lot of love and attention and just ending up with something that was very, very cool. Yeah. I felt like a lot of, a lot of people, a lot of passion had gone into making this game and it came out just, sometimes it comes out like such a nice, a nice thing. Everything just must've aligned at Valve.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because there's so much flooding though already, like, the order for a game to rise above this dross, this sea of messages in bottles, in order for one to get noticed, you have to call your game Xcom Meets Dota. No you don't. Because it needs that snappy soundbite, or else Sips is just gonna go down to the next one in the list and say, okay, alright, crap. That's different. Xcom Meets Dota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, P Flex, I think partly the problem you might have is that you have now been involved in some pretty hardcore intensive training on how to get better at SIS.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before you joined our multiplayer game sessions, you were a fresh-faced young noob and you enjoyed Civ. You know, you weren't, you weren't challenged. You were just going in there enjoying it and the AI was challenge, challenge enough for you, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, but now you've tasted real challenge and real competitive Civ and you, you need that. You've tasted that crack.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what multiplayer is for though, you know, you don't play, unfortunately AIs are always bad in games. We talked about this a little bit before and there's nothing you could do. I don't, I don't think that's my concern.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the uh, problem we're gonna have in Civ is gonna be a very different one. I think it's gonna be that you, there seems to be no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're going to get attacked and you have a lot of cities, those cities are just going to go down and get raced to the ground in seconds or change hands in no time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then your attackers suddenly got all these cities that have changed hands. I think it's going to be, I'm really actually quite excited about the different dynamics of playing these two games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm looking forward to it a lot. So yeah, I don't know, I'm still stoked about Civ. I think it's definitely a different game, a very different game. It's moved towards more of a game than a simulator. I think Civ 5 became


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good game with all of the mods, with all the packs, with all the changes, with, with, with no quizzes mod. I think it became a real competitive exciting challenge. Um, and we understood the meta of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which basically was that don't have more than, you know, five cities until the mid game. And then really after that, you only need about six or seven to win and you don't want any more. You don't want bad ones. You want good ones. Um, you know, if you get, if you capture a city,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love races. So what about you, Sips? What have you been playing this week? What have you been doing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that feeling, right, of playing a game like Dota and like Overwatch, or like CSGO, where you've got equal teams and it means you lose half your games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I get that too. Like I think sometimes like when you do have a win streak, if you're gonna have a lose streak, you can also have a win streak and that's very, very satisfying. I think that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Having the highs and the lows are rewarding. It makes the highs higher when you know that how bad the lows are sometimes. You know, when you come away from Hearthstone thinking, oh fuck, that was, that was shit. I think you get over it pretty much. It doesn't, it doesn't like depress me for the whole day or whatever. But also people do like that. They like the raiding. They like these, they like having to grind against trying to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They do. And that makes the games exciting. Or even though you're down like 10 to 2 or whatever, you still think, holy shit, you could see it, you could think in your head, holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We could come back from this. In a football game, if you were down 10 to 2, no fucking way. You know, it's basically over, I'm going to sit through the rest of the half an hour or whatever and fucking who cares. You know, we've, in misery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yeaah, I really like that. That does, I think that's one of the key elements in why these games are so kind of good and popular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not unhappy that, like, uh, that there's this shitloads of stuff on Steam, but I feel it's the same thing as the TV thing, you know. I watched, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 different first episodes of series and I hated, you know, 18 of them. I can check out 20 new games on Steam and I'll probably hate 18 of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what? I'm not actually hating that experience of checking something new out, trying it out, seeing if it's like good or bad. You know, just because I didn't like it doesn't mean that it was necessarily a waste of time. And then again, I do want my time back from Ghostbusters. That was a garbage movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need, I think, wow. That was a good one. Okay, do you want my, do you want my storytelling adjunct? Go for it, go for it. I think, I think what you needed to do was grab the, uh, the, whatever is, the fluff by the scruff of his neck, the nerd, sorry, by the scruff of his neck and get his head down there. If I could get it in the toilet. What did you say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on, it was like, it was set up, maybe that's the point though, maybe that's what, maybe you didn't do what we were predicting. You could've given him like a spalupe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't make any promises, I have so much to do, but if I find myself with half an hour, I'll slap some of my thoughts onto paper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Philippians. They are my favourite. Oh man. Yeah. Holy shit. Well, that was the Triforce Podcast for this week. It was, it was a different one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am a mother, and I want to ensure the future of this country for my children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get used to it pretty fast but you've killed off all of your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The weather out there, mom and dad. We're desperate, son. It's fun! I haven't jammed your mother in months. Dad, the Jodo collection arrived this morning. Son, you're gonna live in the fucking garden now. Get out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, in London, the trains and the tube all shuts down if there's a whisper of snow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had to get my visa sorted and everything. I've got a two year visa to China, but as amazing as China was and I had some great food out there. Shanghai is like a city of something like 30 million people. I know it's absolutely insane. Like I mean, I've lived in New York. I've lived in London. I've been to lots of big cities around the world and I thought I'd seen


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you come out and you think, well, this must be like the suburban area. Nope. Still all high rises, massive buildings. You go past like what would be the equivalent to Canary Wharf and the city in London. You go past that like 18 times. It's just huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stacks of buildings everywhere, it was nuts, uhm, the roads are always busy, there's always people everywhere night and day, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are some strange things about China, but like cultural things. Number one is, uhm, they-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stuff doesn't open late, so like at the hotel we were at, if you tried to get dinner past like 7 or 8, they were like huffing and puffing and like folding their arms and scowling at you while you ate and stuff, and they'd tell you a bunch of stuff wasn't on the menu. The hotel bar didn't get in at once. Didn't get in there. It literally was like, no no no, it's shut. I was like, it's 5.30!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then rather than check up on the situation to be like, well, it's someone else's problem now. No one wants to take, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Responsibility for stuff. Like that's, there's a kind of reluctance to do that. So if you say to someone, we need some food in here because we've been working for like 15 hours, can we get some food? Oh yea yea yea, I'll look into it. And what they mean is they'll say to someone, they want food, and then they're done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like hands off, it's not my problem anymore. And I feel like that might have come about from having a very authoritarian government for such a long time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, I do not want to be the guy that they go to and say, hey, did you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I'm sure if there's anyone from China that watches this, I apologize if I'm wrong, but that was certainly what I felt, and from talking to other people, that's the impression that I got, was that it's not uncommon to have people hand work off and say, not check up on it. So it's like, you know, not my problem sort of thing, which was kind of interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the food was really, really good. I'll say that. People were like, oh, you're going to Shanghai, the food's going to give you, you're going to get a mud butt from that in no time, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you ask that question in China, they don't even understand the question, do you speak English? Like that's how big the language and cultural divide is between us. Is that you say, like I went out for a smoke, we were in the restaurant, I went out for a vape and there was nowhere to go apart from this little hallway that was like the fire exit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it was like a big concrete stairwell, and all the staff, there was like three or four waiters and chefs out there also having a smoke, because they all smoke like crazy in China. And I'm out there, and they're looking at me like, who the fuck is this guy?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I mean there's lots of places you can't smoke, but I mean it's not uncommon in China for them to just ignore that. So there were some of the other customers in the restaurant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, how it all works. It's not insanely complicated or anything, but it was uhm, it was incredibly busy. Everywhere was incredibly busy. All their stations are vast. Like if there's a stairway,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so the Bund was, you could have been in Europe, like genuinely, it was like the style of buildings and the, you know, there's like the promenades and stuff to walk on and everything. But the smog in Shanghai, although it's nothing as bad as Beijing, it was properly bad. Like there were quite a few days we just couldn't see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean that might be a generational thing, because I find the same thing when I went to Germany, a lot of the older people, like my mum's age, or maybe slightly less than my mum's age and up, don't speak a lick of English. But all the younger guys that I know in Germany, they all speak English.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is very much like that. The internet over there was very strange. Uhm, so for instance,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a bit, yeaah. I mean, I was very concerned about what I searched for. So, I mean, for instance, if I was on the hotel wifi, I couldn't use whatsapp, google, like you just cannot access google at all. Any of the major western sites or anything, you just can't get to them. But if I-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, couldn't understand a look of it. It was all in Chinese. So, you know, as you would expect, if I typed something in Western characters into the box, it would return search results, but they were all in Chinese. So I couldn't really understand what was going on. So I was like, alright, never mind the internet, I'll just watch TV. Uhm, because they had like a movie channel on in the room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was a, it was not the good way to travel. Going east is like really bad in terms of jet lag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had one day to get used to it. I just woke up at 4am every day. That was it. 4am every day. I'd wake up. And, and then we'd work. The shifts were pretty long. They were about like 12 or 13 hours long. Cause this is a dough. How long were you there for? Uh, I think five or six days. So not that long. Not that long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was always like, like this is the way event organizers think. They think we'll put them on in the morning panel, then we'll give them a break in the afternoon, and then they can go along in the later panel. But you wanna do back to back. Like no one ever wants the break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You want to get the work done so you can go back to the hotel, or you want to start later for both your shifts so you can come in later. Like that's what you want. No, take note organizers, please. So- Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Generally speaking, it'd be like, right, everybody in, we want call time, it's like 8.30, we'll go straight there, you gotta like, make up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and the makeup girl didn't speak obviously any English, so when you're trying to say to her, please don't put so much makeup on, she's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But she was, she was nice enough, uhm, so that took forever and then we'd wait around for a bit and then we'd have to do the panel and then Dota takes forever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The days do feel long, but also, if you like Dota, you don't mind, because you get, you know, you enjoy the drama of it and everything, and you're just sitting around watching video games for Christ's sake, you can't complain that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So five minutes into the flight, the ladies come around, giving out the champagne, and I was feeling great at this point, and she promptly spilled a full glass of water, like, all over me. Like, my trousers were soaked through, I was like, she was like, so apologetic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you like some pyjamas from first class? I was like, yes I would. So I got changed into these nice pyjamas from first class. I left my trousers on the empty seat next to me to dry. And then I had a nap, I watched some movies, and then I started to get this awful, awful headache. And I thought, like I said, it must be jet lag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which never happens to me for like a whole week, and then the next week after that I was just feeling like shit, nothing tasted right, it was snot pouring out of me, and then I took like another, it's only like the last couple of days have actually been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is like, your body is completely unprepared for foreign flu.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Uhm, and they all wear masks in China. Like, not just for the smog, but for the germs. You got that many people, you're gonna get sick. Like, I should've worn the fucking mask. Next time I go, I'm wearing a full headset like the guy in E.T. that goes into Elliot's house to retrieve E.T. I'm wearing the full radiation suit next time, cause, oh man. It was bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, you got it. You know what day it is today and tomorrow? Kinda, today kinda, tomorrow definitely. It's World Book Day. We're recording this nearish to World Book Day. So my kids, I don't know, your kids would have had the same thing probably if they got into school was, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so it's obviously not World Book Day, it's like World Book Day-ish. Like it's around this time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So my, my eldest is going in tomorrow as Alice from Alice in Wonderland, a book she has not read, but she likes the character. And my youngest is going as a character from Harry Potter, also a book she has not read, but she's seen all the movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I learned one of my old ties, and, uh, she's, she's so fucking happy. It's, uh, it was hilarious. Ron Weasley, of all the characters, Ron Weasley, he's like the punchline of the entire trilogy. Or, not trilogy, however many books it is. Oh god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cost influence. So you can't just claim their empire and take it. So they, you will notice you're right, like you declare rivalry with someone to get a bit more, um, sort of influence and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they know that you're not on their side and you start to build up your fleets and, and you claim their systems and they're claiming some of yours, then you have a big war, but there's like a, there is a war weariness mechanic, but it's actually a good thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause if you're in a defensive war and you're losing, you actually want to have to force them to the peace table and say, look, we've been fighting for 30 years. We should probably knock this on the head. And then you get 10 years of peace. Borders have changed. They might get a system of yours or whatever. It's, it's really, it's really good. And the, the megastructures are good. You can build like all the Dices.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, Sips, you've been streaming a lot. Fuck that other bald idiot, he never streams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I made up- let me- let me just- I made up a joke. I'm pretty sure I made this joke up. Someone will have to tell me if I didn't. I'm very proud of this joke. Everyone tells me it's terrible, but I know they're wrong. Alright, are you ready?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus, someone say- say it. Someone do it. I can't do the intro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a good idea. A Triforce-themed jug. A jug, yeah. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I knew, I knew that there was gonna be some chat about making a murderer, and I knew that the first thing we're gonna talk about is a woman's appearance, yet again. Yeah, well, you can blame Lewis for that. We're in the plastic age! I'm sorry, I wouldn't have brought it up otherwise.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You basically don't trust the entire system. And yes, I'm absolutely 100% sure there were massive problems with this case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when you look at the, why the motivation was there for the police to fuck him over because they were going to have to pay out all this money and all that, I absolutely get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But unless we're gonna just say, well, I prefer the TV show and set the guy free. Well then why bother with the legal system? Like I think it's very hard to just say he's innocent because I saw a Netflix TV show. That's stupid. Don't get sucked into getting your life edited.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but that's, that's when I think, in a way, like, if you think about what the justice system should be, it, it, like, you know, justice is blind and everything, he should have been given a trial, he had his trial, and that's the end of it, right? I, I absolutely agree that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, he's had how many juggings that lad's had? He's had two spells, two extended spells in prison. That's a lot of jugging. By the way, you will soon be able to purchase the Triforce Jug for all your jugging needs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you ever feel like you're being incompetent? Like I like the idea of people in a day to day life think, man I'm fucking this up. But I do this every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't think people are that shitty when they're that important, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know when they say we're reopening the case, it'll be about three years before we have a review. And you think three years?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That whole time people are reading shit, they're having meetings, stuff's going back and forth, I'm sure. Like I just imagine the judge thinking, oh I've got a spare hour, I'll do some more reading on the Avery case, and just kicks back and reads, and he's just reading this fucking transcript, making notes, checking things in his book. It's like, everything, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We find a murderer, and we write to him and we say, Dear Mr. Murderer, we would love you to sponsor our Triforce jug. And perhaps, if you wanted to jug someone, you could take some pictures and show us how, uh, jugging works IRL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, you know who I think, um, what I think is funny is when someone's guilty, everyone knows they're guilty, the person isn't saying that they're innocent, and they're still just walking around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I don't know if you guys remember, a few years ago, there was, cause sometimes what they've done is maybe, sometimes what they've done is illegal, sometimes what they've done is just borderline fucking immoral. Like, a few years ago there was a, there was an ad campaign.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where it was called J'aime le France, which means I love France, right? For anyone out there that's stupid. Yeah, yeah. And it's like a bunch of people saying J'aime le France and doing French things like drinking wine and uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For guys like that, yea, no wonder he's Jem's La France as well, I bet. He's like, where shall I take refuge? France, they have no extradition, and people will say, oh well of course you had sex with a 13 year old, if she was beautiful, if there's grass on the wicket, let's play cricket!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fucking nuts. And he's just still making movies and everyone's like, let's talk about the new Woody Allen movie. And I'm thinking, you know, I really liked Woody Allen's early stuff, but when he did that, I can't stop thinking about the fact that I'm watching a movie made by a man who raised a woman as his daughter and then married her. It's kind of fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, wait a second. Apparently, Signe Previn has stated that Alan was never any kind of father figure and added that she never had any dealings with him during her childhood. Well, right. Huh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He then sort of got into very serious art house filmmaking, but before that he made films like Sleeper, which is one of my all time favorite movies. It's so stupid. It's about a guy who lives in 70s New York and runs a fucking health food store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, weird food, and they're like, oh, we found out that smoking's really good for you, and cream buns and sugar and fat are the best things for your body, so we just eat those all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was like, I used to run a health food store, they were like, oh god, that stuff's poison, you know. So like, in the future they discovered that all the stuff he thought was healthy was really bad for you and everything, and they grow gigantic vegetables, and it's just, it's just nuts. It's absolutely nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the whole world is run by this guy called, god what's his name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like the master or something. He's just a guy in a wheelchair and it's all this sort of very totalitarian government and everything. It's, it's brilliant. Sleeper is absolutely brilliant. I love that movie. Uh, Annie Hall is an absolute fucking classic. If you've never seen Annie Hall.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good god, I don't know what to say to you. That's an absolute fucking classic, mate. Manhattan? Ugh!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These are gr- these are great movies, genuinely great movies. Radio Days is all about, like, it's a funny story about his life and everything like that, and... He's- he's a brilliant, brilliant director. He did- he's done a lot of very, very good movies, and I- I recommend them, but, uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This jury's not gonna say, we're bored, uh, let's get someone else in, you know what I mean? So once you're doing it, you're just doing it, I guess. I mean, it's not to say they're not gonna do the best job they can, but it's a fairly small team of people as opposed to a guy at the top of the crisps factory going, Gentlemen! Our crisps are coming out backwards!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I watch match of the day and maybe a couple of other things. I'll watch some shows like on the weekend or when my kids are home, I'll watch some TV with them occasionally. We watch The Simpsons, old episodes of The Simpsons and uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I've got it pre-ordered. I heard something hit my mat downstairs, like in front of the front door. Can I just go and check if it's arrived? I'll be one second. I'll be one second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well like, you told us about your kid's school where they get like achievements and stuff. Yeaah. Yeaah. I mean, it could, it could well do. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I just say something lads? I am in agreement with the Reddit comment from last week's podcast saying, I wish these two guys would stop pushing their vegetarian agenda. I can't raise beef in my backyard!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And in fact, being surrounded by people I love makes me want to put myself in a small room at the top of the house, close the door, and be dead to the world for hours at a time. Weird, isn't it? That's exactly it, yeah. But they're away for the week, so my family went away. Without you? Well, they said, do you want to come? And I said no. Right. Uh, for the simple reason that they'd gone to the Czech Republic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if she said, I'm going away for the week with, uh, Tony. I'd be like, the hell you say? I don't know who this Tony guy is. Well, not Tony, I mean Terry. Yeah, no, Terry's no good either. Uh, I mean, Dan, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, no way. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, ladies. If you say, hey, that's not cool, if I said to my wife, I'm going away for a week, just the two of us, oh yeah, that sounds nice, where are we gonna go? No, no, no. Not you and me. Me and this other woman that I know. Like, fuck off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's what I did. I went down to the, to do the poker on Monday with Lulu and the gang down there, which was a ton of fun. I came back Tuesday morning, Tuesday morning to get into Twickenham station. Wait, you missed the summit? What? I don't do YouTube. I don't do YouTube. What am I gonna? Oh, okay. Like, I mean, you know, I can catch up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, all I do is stream and then come down when they tell me to. What am I, what do I need a summit for that? You just summoned me and I arrived. And also I, like, I don't want to say it, Lewis, cause it sounds a little mean, but I would have been missing out on, on this, this moment of my life, which has never happened before, where I have a week in the house myself to just fly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There'd be a slide, it'd be my face, this guy just won this, this part of the talk cause he's done it. He's doing it. He's living this. He gained the achievement, mental health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some other stuff, like knocking about crisps and nuts and dried fruit, baklava.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a hell of a lot of cider. And I thought, sweet, let's do this. And I literally get up at about 9.30, 10 o'clock, because I can't lie in anymore. Come in, start streaming, grab some lunch, keep streaming, gets to about 5 o'clock, have a little lie down, wake up, have some dinner, and stream until about 1 in the morning. That's literally what I did yesterday. The whole day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, we did Hearts of Iron as well. Me and Munt. Me and Munt conquered the world as, uh, so I did something in Hearts of Iron I've never done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fought the Dutch. It was a bloody slog. Did it. No bother. Crushed them. Took about six months. It was dragging on a bit. The Brits were in there as well, then the French were like, we're gonna desist, and they declared war on me as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fine. Get the Italians in. Munt was playing Austria-Hungary. He takes out Romania. Then we're all over it. Take out Poland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then we go through, we go through the Netherlands. The Italians join the war, the French leave the Maginot Line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we bomb the shit out of the channel, and the Brits have all their ships in the channel, we kill all the British ships, they have like three of them left, we quickly make a landing in the UK, take the UK, now we're fighting the Russians. For the Russians, no problem, took Moscow, boom, we're halfway up. It's crazy, it's been a really, really fun game. But then, we found out, this is the worst thing for every Hearts of Iron player.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You find out that one of the smaller nations that you didn't think you'd have to fight is a major. And until you beat them, the war ain't over. And we found out that Japan had come in on the communist side.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And somebody in chat said, they're doing one, it's called Imperator. And we were like, well, that was quick. I'm glad they're listening. Yeah. Because, yeah, it's literally gonna be like, I want Hearts of Iron kinda gameplay, but setting, uh, you know, the ancient times. And, uh, and it's fucking coming. I can't wait. It looks pretty sick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think, like, the espionage stuff will hopefully eventually be added. Like, I love the idea of stealing their codes and you can see all their battle plans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then on Saturday, I'm gonna do something that my kids have wanted me to do for ages, which is they've wanted to be met at the airport by someone with a little sign that has their name on. So, I'm gonna make a little sign and wait there for them to come out and I'll be waiting for them and then I'll have the car and I'll drive them home. So I thought that would be perfect. Wear a suit and a hat and stuff, like, you know, really RP the shit out of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the name on, I've seen that as well. The weird thing is middle, it'll, someone will be there with a sign sometimes saying, Perian Flax. And people look at it and think, God, that's the weirdest name I've ever seen. I wanna see what this guy looks like. And then just the most average looking, bald, middle-aged man walks out. I'm Perian Flax. They're like, Jesus, what a fucking loon. Where does that name come from?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, here's a conception of mine. They hate gamers, and I stopped making videos on there because it was doing nothing and they were never getting recommended to anybody and I just thought fuck it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That people have running in their channels. I didn't add it, it just goes there. And it says- What, to remind you to drink water? Yeah, it says, you've been streaming for two hours, don't forget to stay hydrated. And I'm like, shit, you're right. And I go get some water. So hydration bot is actually pretty good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said that a lot of people with very moderate views, uh, make a lot more money than you'd think because they run adverts consistently. Like every hour or something they just run some ads and I'm thinking, geez, that's like, I could do it between Dota games, but I just always forget. So then people were saying I should let my mods be able to run ads and when I'm


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] AFK, which is inevitably going to happen between games, because I'll go get a beer or I'll go for a pee or something, that they could run ads, but I have no idea how to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do I actually do that? I'd need to make them an editor of the channel or something. I don't know if that is a security problem or whatever, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd love it if they dressed up the mental health thing as just a way to get people to run more ads. Yeah. Yeah. Adverts have been shown by our scientists. Cut to a picture of a guy in a coat looking a little awkward. Guy in one of those lab coats, uh. A bear with a lab coat on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Adverts make you healthy mentally. So run ads people, run them every five seconds if you can. Number four, take a break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but she's just gonna talk about Christmas, because we told her that she can't bring her dog up for Christmas, because her dog's a fucking asshole, and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I just say, it's very hard to find something you're just, just good at. Like the idea that people are just good at things is a myth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you look at Dota for example, I've put 7000 hours in, right? I'm better now than I was when I started, but I'm never going to be a pro player. The guys that started when they were 12 and 13 years old and have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 12 to 14 thousand hours in the game. They're good for a reason. They're not just good at it. They've dedicated their lives to it. So, for art, if you want to get better at drawing or painting, it's not just something you're just naturally good at. Trust me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the thing is, the kids, like, here's the thing, if you really like doing something, and it gives you a lot of satisfaction, you're gonna do it more, right? Now yes, there are some people that are geniuses, and the way that they paint, or the way that they draw,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if they'd drawn an anime person, some people would say that's awesome, and I would say no, it fucking sucks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it Mike's dildos or someone else's? I can't remember. Shout out to our sponsor for all the good work with the dildos. The dildo retrieval service.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just writing down these lyrics because they're gold.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He ate Triforce Podcast. And he sort of looked so distant. TRIFORCE!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey mate, you're listening to the Troifus Podcast or else you're going to get classed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dude, listen to this. Just listen, alright? Now imagine this with a little jingle. Oh god. Three fellas talking, listen while you're walking, on the toilet or while at work, listen to it while you twerk, just three fellas are talking. With a little country jingle. I think that's gonna work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we could even put those other bits, Triforce podcast is the best, just don't listen to it in Budapest. Hey mate, listen to the Triforce podcast or else you're gonna get glassed. We could put those as a stand in between.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how you do it, you promote the worst and then everybody says, podcast suck!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, how was Seattle? Did you have any chowder? Did you have any chowder? Did we have any chowder? I did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You feel bad for the clams now? You free them from their shell prison and put them in a delicious chowder in a bread bowl and you eat them? I would not, would not eat a clam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're very, they're very powerful. I think the thing is they've got a lot of cache because the games that they've made and everything is so huge and they seem to do things differently to other games companies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're not trying to build weapons of mass destruction in uh, in Bellevue, but I don't think, I think it's, they are, there's a lot of fondness for them because of the games that they've made. I know they haven't made games for a few years now. I don't know, I really like them. All the people that I've met working for Valve, like you said, they're always very smart, very competent people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ridiculous, right? Like you just told you someone and you're like, what do you do? Like this is, so when I go to TI,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll talk to people, and I, like, they'll be running something, or they'll be programing something, they'll be making something, they're doing something, or they're working on the production for the, for the Dota tournament and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm like, uh, so what is your background? Like you're a sound engineer? They're like, oh no, no, my background is I'm a plumber or whatever. But, uh, I just turned my hand to this piece of software and made it better and did this, that, and the other. So it's like, they just find these really smart people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they just say, hey, you like so-and-so, don't you? Yeah. Okay, you're now the guy in charge of X. And you just go away and do that. It's amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, Eric Johnson is like the main guy. He's like the go-to guy for any kind of public facing business stuff, right? Like he's the guy that's generally made himself the most available as, if you want to talk to anyone, talk to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, because he's a very senior guy there, you know, he's been there a long time, he knows Valve inside out, and he's like a Valve guy. Yeah. But I think most people, yea, you ask them, like, there's general kind of Valve-y answers for things. Like, you'll ask a question, and you'll get pretty much the same answer from whoever you ask there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not like, I'm not saying they're like a hive mind, but I do wonder if one of the things they've worked on is a chip that can be inserted into the brain. Yeah. And if someone asks a question.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assume so. Yeah, they have to. I mean, but if you look at like, Bluehole, right? Yeah. Like, they seem to say whatever the fuck they want. And of course, that's, that's the thing. It's an example of what happens when you have people just spouting shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Brendan says things like, uh, there won't be microtransactions until we're out of alpha and then microtransactions turn up and all this kind of stuff. So I kind of wonder if some companies actually just think, oh, I can talk to the press, no problem. And they'll say stuff and they just think, oh, people will forget. But they don't forget anymore. And I think Valve knows that they never promise anything. Just tell people to be ready when it's ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't answer any questions with- directly. If anyone asks you a question you don't want to answer, just say, I can't answer that or something. You know, don't do what-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What some companies do is everybody's just runnin' their fuckin' mouths and then you end up in a load of trouble and fans go,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the visit from the old man. The old man's in today, meaning the owner. Who's this guy? What is he?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you said, it doesn't feel like it's like nine to five, like I've been to Mrs. F's office and it's just everybody staring at the screen just tapping away and phones and work. It feels like work is happening. Work is being done. And then you go to Valve and you're like, everyone just seems to be hanging out and it seems really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's iconic. I mean it is. Half-Life, Portal, Dota, CSGO.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, warning, we're not gonna do any spoilers. No. Okay, promise. Okay. But it's a good, good fucking movie and I really enjoyed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I've watched all the other ones, multiple times, and the fact it was building up to this, I think is really cool. And this, the payoff was, was worth it. It was the payoff for all these years of movie watching, and the little hints, and the building of the universe, and everything. And I mean, I read Marvel comics when I was a kid, and I read like, you know, not the Infinity War, but uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they can't have Silver Surfer who is the herald of Galactus. So he's the guy who turns up and says, yo, you're fucked on a surfboard, which is like the most bro thing I can think of. That's why Silver Surfer was always kind of a thing. He's like, yo, what's up? Surfs, surfs on your planet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And just goes, uh, yo, you fuck, Alex, just finish it, whoa, hang tight, y'all, just fucking pieces on his surface.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prior to X-Men, the first X-Men movie, which was not a Marvel, uh, production, that was Sony, I think, cause again, all the X-Men are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Fantastic Four, and I mean, in all this stuff in the comics of course, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, honestly, that movie is awesome. It's very, very good. We watched it the other day with the kids and they really enjoyed it. But uhm, it's very cool. And I think the thing is, the comics are actually pretty cheesy. Like, there are some great bits, don't get me wrong, I love the comics, but the idea of just taking those and sticking them straight on the screen,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no, no, no, no. You have to adapt this shit. You've got a completely different audience than you had 50 years ago when these comics were big. So a lot of the time people are complaining,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they take the essence of the character, they modernize him a bit, they're a bit more smart-talking and funny, like Thor is not like Thor in the comics at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, Thor is a super boring, try-hard warrior type. Yea, he's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I mean Thor Ragnarok is literally, it's literally a comedy. It's not a superhero movie at all, it's a comedy movie, but with superheroism.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Smart talking, he's in danger, but he doesn't even really seem to, he's just a wisecracking, like that was what Spidey always was, like your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. He wasn't meant to be like a badass. And so in later issues, when he got like the Venom suit, I'm nerding out here, but anyway, when he gets like the Venom suit, it gets all these darker timelines and shit like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they, they tried to make him, I think they thought that in the 90s, cause comics suddenly got all different in the 90s. Like, there was a big change. In the 80s, the comics were all just fresh, and they had the comic code of conduct and stuff on the, stamp on the cover, so the parents knew there'd be no sparing or nudity or anything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was having sex and smoking and getting drunk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't watch the old Star Wars very often, like, if they're on TV, I might stick them on, try and get the kids into Star Wars, just cause I think it's a good education in movie history and shit, but I'm not sitting around wanking about Star Wars all day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, exactly. It's ridiculous. It's a new audience. It's a product. I mean, if you think it's some holy grail, guess what? Disney owns that shit now. And you can go back and be nostalgic about Star Wars all you like, but they're just gonna make movies. That's it. And I mean, I've seen a lot of reviewers say, oh my God, it's just gonna be Disney movies. You're gonna have Star Wars, you're gonna be sick of Star Wars. And I am probably


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very compelling. I don't think it's as complex a message as people seem to be making out. I think it's a pretty straight forward message.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all this stuff, like, he's not, he's not just that guy, is he? Like, we haven't seen Abed again. I haven't seen the guy who played Abed doing much. The guy, what is his name, Joel McHale? He hasn't done as well. Donald Glover was like, the guy to come out of that series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the most stuff going on now. Like he's gone from community to being bigger than when he was on community. He's gone from strength to strength.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but he wasn't on the camera is what I'm saying. I'm talking about the acting talent, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, she's, I mean, what are we talking, which era are we talking about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. There's one of her as like a giant woman in a bathing suit, pointing a trident at him. That's, that's pretty fucking hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's got a trident. She- This is when the devil is super angry with, uh, Brendan Fraser. She's Satan, right? And she did a- Have you not seen Badazzle?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How old is it? Oh, it's, it's from the 90s, this movie. It was Brendan Fraser when he was, when he was not looking like he was about to, to die. You know, it's like, this is like, why is he dying? This is probably his, no, but he looks like he's going to die. So this is like, he, he's a regular schlub. He can't get this girl he likes and he does a deal with the devil played by Liz Hurley.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In her best role, and looking hot as she's ever looked, I'll tell you that. And the deal is, that he's gonna wish for stuff, and she's gonna give him like a taste of this other life. But of course, cause she's a devil, there's always a twist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, and at the end there was something, she owns his soul if he, if there's some kind of fuck up anyway. So, it's, it's a good movie. It's a really good comedy and Brendan Fraser's very funny.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he was, he was dope. He did, uhm, Groundhog Day and Badazzled and yeah, he did a bunch of movies, I think. Oh, I didn't know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I ask you a question, Sips, as a Canadian? I wanna, I'm trying to understand something, okay? I'm trying to understand Nardoir the human serviette. You know this guy, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it a guy who eats stuff again? No, no, no. He's an interviewer. He interviews like musicians. He interviews rappers a lot. So he's got like, he wears like a Scottish style bonnet with a thing on the top. He's got long hair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nardoir the Human Serviette, I don't understand, like, why he's seen as such a- I mean, I think he's hilarious, but it surprises me that this guy would be popular, cause he's such a weird guy, and it seems like a very Canadian thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that guy with the dog, what was the, the talking dog interviews where the microphone is in like a paw? Have you seen that one? He's like, uh, and the dog's wearing a cigar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Comedy sketch shows given to just a random dude or a couple of people is like, just go and make a sketch show. And I don't see so many sketch shows now, and I'm not sure why. I mean, Key and Peele...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I think it is? I actually blame The Simpsons. Cause I think most stuff that people are making nowadays seems to be some fucking animated show. And I think everybody saw The Simpsons and said it has to be animated. And everything's animated now. That's what I think it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, there was always shit like that. Like I don't think Mrs. Brown's Boys is like a bad thing. It's my most hated show, but if loads of fucking people like it, that's the shit they should be fucking putting on TV. People wanna watch it put it on TV. That's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There are a few shows. Friday night dinners. I recommend that if you have never heard of it. It's very good. It's got, um, Tams and Gregan. It's got the guy who was in, uh, it's got two of the guys actually that were in the in-betweeners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's, it's a really, it's sweet because it's like you get to know the family. So a lot of the jokes are...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it is very funny. I mean, I just think that they're still making Alan Partridge stuff. They're still making fucking Red Dwarf, just let it die for the love of God. Wow, they really? You need, you need, yeah, you need the new.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ones of these. You need to find the next people who are gonna make you something that, like Red Dwarf, people love and has legs, right? Something like Blackadder that people still fucking watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where is that coming from? And I don't see it. And I just think whatever is happening in comedy, the BBC has to be at the forefront because they can actually gamble. Right? You've got all your main shows, you've got your fucking Strictly's, you've got your Mrs Brown's, all this shit. Fucking find some budget for some guys and just say, just make something. And find some actual funny people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was okay. That was pretty funny. If series one was good, I think it fucking seriously dipped after that, but Jesus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that the one where he has to go before the Islamic council to decide whether to lift the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody knows Ninja Warrior, right? You know Ninja Warrior. Let's have a fucking stunt show. Every week, there's a, there's a big stunt. They have all this set up. They tell us what's gonna happen. The dude does a stunt. Sometimes he gets fucked up. Awesome!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love the way you've read something about how to make choices. Oh, I know, yeaah. That's such a Lewis thing to do. I can't make a choice. There must be a article about how to make choices. How do I control my woman better?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what the real secret to Netflix is? That there are hidden codes for genres, and that it'll sometimes have movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there are a lot of old movies that they just don't put up front. Because it's always trying to recommend, right? It's always saying, oh, you liked, uh, Die Hard? Well, maybe you'll like this Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. I'm like, no! So, the hidden genres.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, I think it's on Amazon actually, it might be on Amazon, I can't remember. Anyway, it's in Danish, it's set in Denmark. I recommend turning off the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's this terrible rain that gives people this terrible virus.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the, one of the guys who's sort of in the project that developed or is trying to combat this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, he's in with, in his, the very beginning of the film, he's in the car with his family, and he starts to rain, he's like, we gotta get out of here, so they go down this bunker. And he starts from there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it's, it's dis. It's not great. I wa- I skipped quite a bit of it. Cause when I get to a point where I know what's gonna happen, I just skip forward to a scene that looks interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like a long conversation of the words. I'm like, I already know this, these two characters, I know exactly where they're going. Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. So it was, I watched it in like a day and a half. I just skipped a bunch of it. It's okay. I give it like a 5 out of 10. If you, if you love post apocalyptic stuff, it's got a few cool things in it, but yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it does affect how you talk and act and behave. You know, if we were all professional business people and we were all had to go to work every day and dress up in suits and get makeup on and sit in a studio and all that crap. Yeah. We would be very, it would be a very different podcast. We'd all be singing from the scene.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad grew up in New York for sure. It must be like a role model type thing though as well, or a fashion-y type cultural thing. It's like a meme where, you know, someone of high stature wears them. Like, you know, Donald Trump's hair. You can see tons of people emulating that thinking, I want to have hair like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go and take a picture of Donald Trump into the barbers and being like, look at this guy, he's fucking his clued up, he's head of the free world. Drop me. Drop me. I beg your pardon sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they have a duty and an obligation and they're good people and they just want to try and convince people that...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they, I think they still should, mmm, I don't know, I don't know. In a way I'm a little bit jealous of Sips and his sort of laissez faire attitude towards it, which is kind of like, uh, just, you know, let people get on with it, you know, I'm going to not worry about it too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you have, this is a part of the human condition though, I think you have to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I'm a little bit, yeaah. I mean, one of the things I'm always doing, and I don't know whether you guys get this impression, is that I'm always the fucking asshole who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish I, I wish I didn't though, I wish I could just be like, oh cool, you know, and just be friends with them and just, just never say anything, never get into these conversations, never like, kind of, because it's so much happier, so much nicer, nicer, right? I mean, you know, you meet people all the time, we have the fucking most crazy,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Beliefs and views, as they're completely deluded into these things that are just, to me, complete madness. And you know, I have to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I put my foot in it and challenge them and sneakily ask them sort of dumb questions. Yeah, anime. Yeah. But, oh, basically I really just don't want to be like that. But I can't help myself sometimes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well this is like a really, really common thing, isn't it, of diverting frustration onto someone else. And you know, it tends to be those closest to you who end up getting shouted at for something which has nothing to do with them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I think that, like, no we're not, no. No, I think that, you know what though, that is definitely like a symptom of the game you're playing and for example I've been playing, uhm, some board games with people lately, some, for example Warhammer, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uhm, obviously I've been playing with a few different people, but one person I've been playing with is Alex, who's Tom's friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he started off, like, when he was a kid, he used to play Warhammer and build Warhammer models, and then when he grew up, he just sort of thought, fuck, I'll build my own house. And so he fucking did, and he's like, you know, massive awesome house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he's, he's uhm, well yeaah, I think he's, anyway, he's fine, he's a really interesting guy, but he's uhm, very kind of laid back when it comes to playing games, and weirdly uncompetitive, like weirdly kind of plays games


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's quite refreshing to play with him or against him because...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well it's, it's the competitive nature of some of these games like Dota is a real illusion though as well. It feels like you're always like trying, playing at the highest level when really, you know, you're struggling in the sort of, you know, middle of the median gaming experience with average people, against average people, but everyone tries so hard as if it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I'm getting at I think is that it's, it doesn't sort of necessarily tell you when you pick up Dota that it's going to be, the fun is going to be competitive fun. Like me and Shin and Duncan when we were on holiday. But Duncan and Shin coined this phrase type two fun, which I don't know if you understand what it is, but basically type, type one fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you're actually doing it, you don't enjoy it. But when you've done it, you're glad to have done it and you remember it as a good memory. Okay? So like, maybe like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before you pick him up. Like Trouble in Terrorist Town, for example, that we play, no one really plays it super competitively, right? They put a bit of effort in, but they're willing to kind of lose or-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People don't really automatically become try-hards, I guess. Whereas, I guess when Dota there's this scoreboard, there's this MMR rating, it tells you like, stuff like that. It becomes this...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, I can't remember any of the games we played because they all blurred together into a horrible mess of, but we argued, sometimes we had shouting matches at the top of our lungs, but, and people would be like, oh my god, these guys must hate each other, but actually we would like, we were like best friends kind of at the time. Same again, the next night, we just did it again. We didn't hate each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you know, if someone just was on the outside and hadn't got the perspective of that or understood, you know, they might just think we're just, we've, you know, we hate each other. You know, it's so weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But weirdly, like, certain people would come out of the woodwork as a specific character type, so I always remember, I'm sure we talked about all this shit again and again, probably like, you guys are like, oh god, not this again. But I remember we always played with this guy called Pearson, who, you know, I still have on my friends to this day and see him playing weird games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To say it was my fault, right? Even if it wasn't. He was this guy who, I like, he loved the punishment, right? He was a glutton for like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five people didn't fucking click the thing, do you know what I mean? Like loads of people fucked up, cause that's what happened in wow rates, you were expected to do this shit and you fucked up all the time, and it wasn't until you'd done it like fifteen times that you remembered not to fuck up anyway. Pearson would always be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Absolutely, yeaah. I think with Meris, we had a bit of Stockholm Syndrome as well, right? Like, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He doled out the fucking perps at the end where, you know, we'd, we'd, if it wasn't for his yelling and shit, we wouldn't have got our shit together and got any loot at all. And so, you know, weirdly we were trapped with this in like a basement with this guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I feel like that's the thing though, like it's got this illusion of pressure, and I can see like, I mean, I'm just trying to, just trying to take...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Be a, be a, be a, I think with a game like that though, you constantly have to remind yourself that it's a game. It's one of these games that if you take your eye off it for a second, it becomes this sort of competitive thing again and you wanna, you wanna be the best, you wanna, you know, win and it's weirdly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think it's because losing is so punishing, you know, so sad to see, so fucking depressing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the whole capital automatic cheer. It's like, it's like people in the crowd singing their stupid charts, you know, or stupid songs for a football match, you know. That's what Twitch chat is. It has it's, instead of having the songs, it has the little memes that go around. I disagree. It's not like sport at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it feels, it's kind of an autopilot thing. You still see it with the top streamers, that they, they're almost on autopilot. They're like, you know, they just have these set phrases, they do these things, and it's, it's kind of, I always think of streaming like, like working, mining at the coal face, okay? Literally, like, if, I do!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, in a sense, like, I think of YouTube as this thing where you curate and create a fixed thing and then you put it out and then you can kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can kind of, you can only really do a certain amount of it. Like, you can only really put out like, a video a day. Right, right. If you put two out, they both get half as many views, kind of thing, right? Yeah. Whereas if you're Twitch streaming,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost much more proportional to how much time you put in on it, right? It's like if you go, if you load up your Twitch channel, you can just chip away and earn money and be like chip, chip, chip, new subscribers, new donations, new things. And if you do 12 hours a day, you're going to get more money than if you do three hours a day. Like it's just so much different in that sense, right? It's like, it's like, it's like just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's like, do I wanna, go ahead, it's like mining Bitcoin, right? It's like, do I wanna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Same thing with Twitch in a sense, like, you know, if you're playing a game that people don't like, then you might not do very well or whatever. I dunno, I just feel like it's, uhm, it's a different mentality.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy. It's just nuts. Like I don't know. I don't know how much different it even is, honestly, because you, when you used to do your old series, not very much got cut out anyway, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a result though, I found myself, there was a move, right, and I was like, hmm, there's definitely a way out of this, but I don't know what it is. And so I had it on my computer and it was there for like 10 minutes and I was staring at it, like puzzling at every single little bit of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I like, was like, oh, so I went and made a cup of tea and I came back and I was there for another 10 minutes. And like, Duncan was there and he was like, are you fucking playing this game? You know, he was literally like, well, you've been on the same screen for literally half an hour now.