[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that while traveling to China one time, he got separated from his family and they started yelling out there trying to Marco and he just yelled back polo and that's it. That's how the game happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Children must also learn how to keep their frustrations in check while trying to catch another player without the benefit of seeing them. You're learning a lot. It's a great game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or it's the ones that were, that ones that were walking a little more upright, they had a competitive advantage over the others. And then those were the ones that got to breed and then those traits began to express themselves over time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I picked up several of these yesterday. That is a fern fossil found in Pennsylvania, dated 320 million years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You got a piece of petrified wood here from Arizona. You want to guess how old this is?


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[Assistant] Uh, 150 million years old. Wow. That's some good wood, man. That is some solid wood. This is cool. That is good wood. Oh, it's petrified.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'd have to put him in a controlled environment, dude. We can't just let him loose.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How do we have these nature preserves all over the country? How do we catch them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, some kind of fenced in area, not a cave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I'd like. This is from an Animorse book, I'm pretty sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the animorphs books is these kids developed the ability to transform into animals, animals that they've touched.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's probably who that is. My guess. I haven't read the books in a while, but that's what I think.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's natural selections, whatever gives you a competitive advantage in terms of breeding.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over time then those, those characteristics will play out over time.


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[Assistant] Pterodactyls were their reptiles, close cousins of dinosaurs who evolved on a separate branch of the reptile tree.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were the first animals after insects to evolve powered flight not just leaping or gliding but flapping their wings to generate lift.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh wow. A bombardee, a beetle. It's a beetle that can breathe fire. That's pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cap City and Austin, I got a lot of stuff coming up. Come, come see me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Estimated one to 10 million. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's an Aaron Weber that created Sonic the Hedgehog. Oh.


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[Assistant] So that's probably who they're talking about here. Spelled a little wrong. He's worth one to five million.


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[Assistant] You know why I know Slappy White? Jeff Ross mentions them in a joke. If you ever watched The Roast of Emmett Smith online.


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[Assistant] Jeff Ross, he's talking about how he's the only white guy there and he says, we got everybody but Slappy White in here. And that's the only thing I've ever heard that name until you just described it.


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[Assistant] Indeed will help you see your top talents abilities faster with 135 assessment tests. And with Indeed, you only pay for applications that meet your jobs must have requirements. Start hiring right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post at indeed.com slash Nate offer valid through March 31st and upstart.


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[Assistant] What would you do if you didn't have high interest loans or credit card debt? Would you move to a new city, start a family through upstart? You can pay off your existing debt quickly with a personal loan so you can tackle your next big financial goal. Find out how upstart can lower your monthly payments today. When you go to upstart.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I hope if, if I've gotten dumber, I hope I'm getting funnier. I would take that trade any day of the week.


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[Assistant] It looks like somebody just jammed their fingers on a keyboard.


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[Assistant] It's a scare, it's a fear of long words.


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[Assistant] I did my longest set ever this weekend. Oh really? I did like 56 minutes. Oh yea. That's as long as I've ever done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I told them they wanted an hour and I told them before I started I was like...


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[Assistant] You know, it might be best if it's going to be closer to 45, just a heads up, but I was having fun. I just kept going. That feels pretty good to get off. And I looked at my watch. I was like, Oh my God.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't been on that long. And I never really felt like I was reaching for stuff. That's a pretty good feeling.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a little bit of, I think of it as like calibrated delusion a little bit. Where you have no evidence or any reason to think that you are going to do better, but you're like, it's in there. I'm going to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You should have heard what he was saying before nightmare. He's saying some awful stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He knows how to stand on stage, hold a mic. It's just a different thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now have you ever heard, this is one of my favorite clips ever. I had never heard of the guy outside of this clip, but apparently he's big. John Piper is his name. He's speaking to a group of Christian counselors at some conference. And my understanding of the story is, have you heard of this before?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, he got switched with a comedian at the last second. So he goes out there and the crowd thinks he's a comedian. He's a very serious, intense guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's a longer, I can kind of fast forward a little bit in here and you'll get an idea of the kind of laughs he's getting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uh, he just cannot understand why he's killing so hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can understand if you go into it thinking this guy's going to be funny, kind of had the timing of, I kind of get it, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, not, I work office jobs so people aren't really coming in and out. They know you're a comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He, he had, uh, his, his said his was that his family would fill up old syrup bottles for water bottles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. But was it not Griffiths? I think it was a different maker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. Okay. But it was in a Griffin syrup bottle. I totally misunderstood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What would you need, what would you like made out of wood? Oh, that's a good question. How about this? You have good furniture?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that would be first on the list of surgeries I want to be knocked out for. Yeah. Other than like heart surgery.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's nothing you can't accomplish with a great team. This podcast is kind of like a team, right? This is like the Chicago Bulls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we need to find new members of this podcast, I know what we're going to be using. We're going to be using Indeed. When you're assembling the right set of skills at your company, you need all the help you can get. I've actually used this product on both sides. I've used it as a guy looking for a job and I've used it as a guy looking to hire somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To work in my company. It's very easy. Streamline the entire process.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, indeed is the hiring partner where you can attract, interview and hire all in one place. That's what's nice about this is you're not having to juggle all these different services. It's all done through this one platform. Even the interviews, you can do virtual interviews. You don't have to set up zoom meetings or any of this other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, not for Aaron Lance, my old, the last job I had before I went full time comedy, I had to hire somebody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, with Instant Match, as soon as you sponsor a post, as soon as you post a job listing, you get a short list of quality candidates, resumes on Indeed that match your job description, and you can invite them to apply right away. Plus you only pay for quality applications, so you're not gonna have to pay if you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If Brian fills out his application again for your job, you don't have to pay for that because they know it's not a good, it's not a good match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, like I said, the virtual interviews, that's a really cool new feature of this. No need to install anything extra. It works right through your browser. It's very easy, very simple. It's a no brainer. Start hiring right now with a $75 sponsored job credit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To upgrade your job post at Indeed.com slash Nate, offer valid through March 31st. Go to Indeed.com slash Nate to claim your $75 credit before March 31st. Indeed.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, she's great. How's she doing? She good. She, she left that job pretty quick, but she...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She got a promotion. She's moving up. She's moving up. Yeah. Um, we're also brought to you by Upstart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you have multiple credit card balances each month and are only paying the minimums.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're talking to me right here. Uh, barely making a dent in your credit card debt. It can be discouraging. It can pile up. It can be overwhelming. Upstart can help you pay off that debt quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you can check your rate super quickly in just five minutes and it doesn't impact your credit score for checking this out. And you can get loans between $1,000 to $50,000. You can even receive funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to upstart.com slash nate. That's upstart.com slash nate. Don't forget to use our URL to let them know we sent you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be really nice to do. Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit, income, other information provided. Go to upstart.com slash Nate, upstart.com slash Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Rogan, which is bigger than maybe all of those combined.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never been to any of those. Really? Aren't they all much smaller than you imagine? Everybody says that, you kinda notice that right away. You're like, it's way smaller.


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[Assistant] She's not as competent of a sitter as you are, man. That's a very funny, I mean look, that's awesome. That's such a funny compliment. He's the most competent sitter I've ever seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not, not of specific people, but just like different characters.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had 6 a.m. family prayer every morning. My mom would yell from the foot of the steps, wake up, then we'd all come down, sit in a circle in the living room every morning. You'd want to go back to bed, but you gotta get ready for school after that.


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[Assistant] No, for, for one of these shows? Yeaah. I have no idea how it works.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So her biggest, she was way bigger than like what Ellen, Ellen is? Yeah, I think so. I mean, Ellen's


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the craziest thing anybody's done on TV. I mean, just to give out this many cars.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're right. Well, I can't name another Oprah show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Number two was the Tom Cruise moment. Number one is a flash mob, which I don't even know what this is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, 2019 producers pulled off an over the top surprise for Opa with the help of tens of thousands of fans and a black eyed piece. So they surprised her.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's already, it's bizarre from the jump, dude. There's, you know, sometimes you gotta sit when, when television was four by three.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You had to sit a lot closer, so it just looked super awkward to begin with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think he's actually upset about that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, the point is you've been, so for the longest time before that, you've been, your whole life has been trying to sell yourself to people. Yes. And then it comes around and people are trying to sell themselves to you and like, Oh, this is fun. Let me just sit back. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a tough about an act out like that. Like you can't bail out of it. You just got to keep going. Like she knows it's kind of bombing right when she starts. Got to finish this dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somebody who's 70 to 90. Is that, is this?


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[Assistant] I think forties, they're like, get over yourself. Oh, 30 year old is a tricenarian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's not using super casual conversations, but like, I don't know, a news piece or something, and they're referring to...


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[Assistant] I think just somebody uses it around you and you go, oh, what is that? And they say it. And then, yeah. And then you want to use it.


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[Assistant] Feels good to use a word that somebody else has to look up.


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[Assistant] But I guarantee you this week, you'll find an opportunity to use this word.


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[Assistant] Tom Selleck. Tom Selleck. You said Sam Elliott.


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[Assistant] We should go on there every now and then. Just see what's going on.


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[Assistant] She has, whoever's producing her stuff is, she got like legit people behind her. So it all sounds super legit.


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[Assistant] I think she's bad baby actually, not bad bunny. I'll get trash for that, I apologize.


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[Assistant] Yeah, do you know this? I do know this and I'm curious your thoughts on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, as far as I remember, watch, I was very young watching this clip and can you explain what it is? Jim Everett and Jim Rome and he keeps calling him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember seeing that as a young kid and being like, oh, he shouldn't have done that. And then, uh, my dad or my grandpa was like, no, he did. I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I thought this was another guy above you on the news channel 5.


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[Assistant] Yeah, we got some poker. It was also fun to play with people that had no idea how to play poker. They were like, uh, what should I do? Should I go all in? And we were like, yeah.


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[Assistant] That would have been me. And they won though. Yeah, but they were like, we're going all in. And like, Travis, who's like a professional poker player, you could just see his anger. He was like,


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[Assistant] Well, you know, I get Mick all the time when I'm on shows, you know, places. Also, I pronounce the name Nick Bad, so I partially am the reason why that Mick legend kind of continues, but no, it's truly amazing. I mean, the fans of Nate Land podcasts are amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know what a soccer pitch is, and I'm a big fan. Jason Sudeikis. I love him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like too, there was a soccer guy that would run around at like a kids soccer with that stopwatch and now everybody has an iPhone. Yeaah. So you just know the time. Yeaah. There's no need for that guy anymore.


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[Assistant] Almost tying Tennessee, you know, from like the nineties, like that's your big Vanderbilt. We lost 12 to 7.


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[Assistant] A eye disease, keratosis, I think I'm pronouncing it wrong possibly, uh, but basically my cornea, I'm like looking through the cornea. So I need like a cornea transplant or hard contact lenses. He's like, get them if you, if it's gonna, if your life is like, you can't take it anymore. So for me, I squint.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do look a little close, but uh, you know, it's Nate loves it.


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[Assistant] Give it a shot at least. I know. I mean, I may just start wearing glasses just for, you know, for you guys. And then I'm like, they don't even work. I just have mine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you wear soft contact lids? I don't wear anything. No. I'm keeping it natural. See how they're driving around.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but yeah, it's funny. Nate loves it. He loves to, you know, in, in the buffet, in fairness, it's not like this is a big buffet. All right. I'm a big Chinese food fan. So the Asia corner was like the far corner. So I had to walk all the way there. Where are you going? Ryan's steakhouse?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shout out to that casino, that was fun. We were there pretty late, actually this morning.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I'm, I bet you- There's an eye doctor like you are seeing the wrong- I'll also be honest that I did try to go for a new appointment with my eye doctor. They're not there anymore. So- They're gone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanted to keep going to the same eye doctor because they were tracking like the, the, my eyes are awful. They were getting worse and worse. I'm like, I want to keep going to the same eye doctor. I tried to make an appointment about a month ago and I look up, you know, the office and it's no longer an office.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a lot of people saying, there were people that said they did the same thing. It reached out to me. Colgate versus Cortezone. They look a lot alike. I got a lot of people relating to putting Cortezone in their mouths. So, there's people, there's mix out there. There's mix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there's another kind of fun thing with the light too, where sometimes if the light's already on before you get there, and you don't notice it until you're like one or two minutes in or a couple minutes in and then you're like, are they lighting me? Like am I just bombing? And they're like, get them off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like you would have just kept the sports section of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What if Pepsi just attacked Coke? They're like, that's it, we're going to war.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's Russian, it's Russian submarine pilots, you know, that are like bringing it in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, whoever is like selling that is like, here's what my idea is. In a boardroom, be like, we would like 17 submarines and then just worship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So here's what happens. I'll be honest, what, a lot of times I would, I'm running behind, you know, and I need to take a shower, but also I need to cook. So what I would do is I would turn the shower on because it would take a bit to get hot. No one's there. No one's gonna be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, what's so funny is like Nate and I would play video games until four in the morning and then we'd just wake up and we're like, hey, how's it going?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was getting ready for a show, you know, and I had limited time. Probably didn't need to make that kabasa. I probably could have also kept the boxers on hindsight. That wasn't saving a ton of time, but I was like, I gotta be ready for anything. And I like adventure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we were in Cleveland and Pittsburgh and the last time I was in Pittsburgh, this is years ago, I think when we were all living together, there was a little people convention there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's the first time there and now you know we got a little people conventions all over the country this is a regional and they're not in the city they're usually right outside the city.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The national one, that's where I met my wife, is, is, you know, in a different city every year, but that's, you know, could be 2,000 little people, 3,000 little people. The regionals are smaller.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's still like a great time. So there's a regional in Pittsburgh and it's, it's not in the city, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Saturday, you know, a group of little people were like, let's go and see downtown Pittsburgh. So this one girl, she has a new minivan. Alright, we're all little people. Her dad just bought this new, brand new, beautiful minivan. Accessible van.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, very expensive. So we go into downtown Pittsburgh and everyone's drinking, you know, and I'm not cause, you know, it's early and I was just tired. So the girl whose minivan it is, she only had like one beer, but she was like, I probably shouldn't drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I'll drive, you know, I'm fine. You know? And so now we're on the fourth floor of a parking garage that is on a very heavy, steep incline, okay? Fourth floor down. And so I get in, very confident, okay? I'm a good driver.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I start the car and I, and I, you know, put it, I put my foot on the brake now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That girl, um, you know, I see her all the time, but a couple years ago, she's like, you know, we're still paying off for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, real time. See, that's the thing. I could have just let go of the wheel and just jumped under. But then what happens? If that doesn't go good? It stops and doesn't hit? Yeah, probably. Probably that was the best.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So when we were in Pittsburgh though, everywhere we were going, I was like, is that the parking garage? You know, just like, I just wanted to see it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it could have been a couple hours. You know, I think eventually we just started writing notes. Hey, sorry, I'm trying to explain it as quick as I can. There was a pedal extension problem. It wasn't my van. I made a bad decision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, at least though, there's a lot of bathrooms. If that's like a small regional, and then it's like, you know. There were two. Two bathrooms. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That happened to my friend once. We went from Mexico and Tijuana back to the U.S.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now this is like overcrowded bus of people trying to get in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm lactose intolerant, so that's part of, you know. Let it out, let everybody know. I'm lactose intolerant, I can't have milk, I'm the annoying guy that's always like, can we hold the cheese?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I ate, you know, so I went on a date, uh, with, with this girl, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, you know, we're eating something and there happened to be dairy in it and I did not know that. So we go to a bar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we're, we're all hanging out at this bar that is overcrowded. Mind you, there's one bathroom in this bar and it's a college.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a college bathroom in like, we're talking about blocks and blocks from anything else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay. And so we go in there and we're kind of partying on this date with this girl and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a problem and I know I need to, it's like, this is not a problem that can last 45 seconds. I'm starting to think like, where can I go? I need, this is, this is going to happen right now. Now there's 15 people in this line.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the door doesn't even close all the way into this bathroom. And I'm on this date and I'm starting to sweat and I'm still trying to like, you know, I'm not, you know, I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I ended up having to just go around the bar. And mind you, this is North Philly. This is North Philly. North Philly is definitely a lot better now, but at that time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was like abandoned buildings and there would be grass and there, you know, you're, you're, you're blocks away from anything else in a really dangerous area, but there's just grass outside the bar. And so I just, I'm like talking to this girl, I'm like, uh, I gotta get a call. And I'm just like, make up like a call.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm still just, I can't believe that he has the ability to be like, well, I'm not going to go. He can hold it four hours. Like there's like, maybe there's like a deep seated- You drink anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I drink water, I'll get a Diet Coke on the, on the, on the plane. One of his parents like yelled at him like, you will not go! You know, it's like a deep seated, you can't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've always been just amazed. I mean, living with you, I literally for years had not seen Nate drink a sip of water. Like he's like brushes his teeth with diet Pepsi. Like he does not know no water.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I feel like we should have Elon Musk. The blue dot. Try to tap him in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speaking of new movies with this theme though, how about Don't Look Up? Have you guys seen the stuff about that? No, what is it? It's gonna be a Netflix movie about a comet coming from outer space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jennifer Lawrence. Oh man. And, uh, it's coming out soon and it looks awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also just, just the 96. Who could ever fact check that? No, I think it's 38.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole red pill, blue pill thing is like one of the most fun, take the red pill, take the blue pill. That's like the best, choose your own adventure thing out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if there is one of the, not, not Neo, Neo is, was the Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves, the other guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I want to just make a statement that I believe in God not Elon Musk because I'm getting my daughter baptized and I don't want to be like, wait a minute, uh, we saw you on there talking about Elon Musk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what they want to do. Elon Musk wants to build like a bubble that we can live in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You patch it up. Yeah. I think it's like multiple hole, like bubbles.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this Spider-Man to the Spider-Verse or the cartoon or the live action? I don't know if I care, but Brian, go ahead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd go back and try not to hit all those cars in the minivan, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was in the Bermuda Triangle. Right? Wasn't there problems with clocks and stuff?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had a security guard last night, uh, in the casino and he, you know, he's asking for my ID and he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But how crazy is that though, when it gradually starts happening? Like, what it feels like in Alaska becomes Arizona? And you're like, oof. You probably can't even live in Alaska. You can't. I mean, it's like, then you're, you know, you just gotta find...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like you have a bad day, don't worry, you're gonna have another, you know, another chance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's something in Vegas, like a loop, that's supposed to use part of this, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a Vegas loop, Elon Musk's, uh, the boring company. The boring company is, is one of Elon Musk and it's doing like a hyper loop that's going to get, allow you to use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vegas. And also check out, we're going to be announcing the 2022 Easter Seals Disability Film Challenge. So if you follow us at Disability Film Challenge, we got some exciting stuff coming up. But I can't wait for Vegas. We're going to have such a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, there was a restaurant, Bonanza, and then they lived on the Ponderosa, which is also a restaurant. I think they changed the name from Bonanza to Ponderosa. The restaurant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people would say it's more of a science stand-up comedy, because we have a formula for our jokes and we put stuff together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was office Christmas party. It was one of those where they had no business booking a comedian. Nobody wanted it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They had a guy drawing caricatures off to the side. They had on the other side one of these photo booths where you push the button to do a different backdrop. I mean, everyone's having a great time until it's time for the comedian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For what was supposed to be an hour. Yeaah. What'd you do? 40.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Henry Cho, I worked with him this weekend. He said, whenever they say, don't worry, those people stick around for the raffle afterwards. That's when you know it's going to be a bad show. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or just anything where they have to, uh, bribe people to stay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. You've been going longer than you need to. I mean, not that people were bored.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She has some classics everyone wants to hear. Yea, I would go do that then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I took supplements for awhile, but those are dangerous. They can lead to some other stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean there, there is some truth to that. I mean it, cause it does lead to a, like aggression and stuff like that. The working out part, that's debatable whether that means anything. Some people, some doctors say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That doesn't help, but some say it does, especially if you're competitive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, to be a man, man, you know, that does help raise lifting weights, stuff like that. Uh, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do think my age helps cause, you know, they identified with me more than, say, took a 20 year old for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and talk about what happens, like what happened to you? How did you go from here to here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You and Nate, you've heard me say this before, y'all are a lot in common. You're, you're positive and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In your comedy in the sense that you're both from the south, clean, but you don't...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That resonates with people. It's not so dark, it's not so negative, it's not talking about...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just very depressing topics. It's, uh, it's, it's for families, like you said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you're, you're very tough minded too. I'll ask her like, was it tough for you as a woman on the road doing these terrible, terrible gigs? And she'll say, no, everyone really always treated me great and everything. And then later she'll tell me some awful thing that some man said to her. I'm like, Leanne.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you don't let that get you down, you just roll with the punches.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it a cave? There's a cave. It's right there on the road? It says temporary closed. Is that cause he died?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most famous ghost. Yeah. I mean, she's really a ghost, right? Yeah. They call her bell witch, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was Acumar, I saw it, but you're right, it was Donald Sutherland, not Tommy Lee Jones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah. Oh yeah, this is the big one. Yeah. I got one for you. You're going to put out a special in 2022. That's mine for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The most, the most unlikely a couple months ago if you just said it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're going to play Augusta. I'm going to say that you'll finally play the probably the nicest golf course in America, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's looking good. I don't remember, would you remember what it was for him?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Big thank you to Babble. Babble's immersive language learning lessons were created by over 100 experts in the field. Learn to speak like a local and choose from 14 different languages when you purchase a three month Babble subscription with promo code Nate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll get an additional three months for free.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say if you have the presence of mind to even be thinking about that, you're probably not being annoying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are two completely different kinds of sites. Okay. That's all right. We can talk about it later.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, not even six, it wasn't even consistent. It was like two months of them. It was, it was a train wreck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thanks man, one out of six. Appreciate the support, dude. Where's it at? Everywhere podcasts are found.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going through a thing where at open mics and stuff, I was doing this like, Ooh, somebody, I was saying somebody stopped me as a joke. And then I just liked the name of it. I didn't think that I would stop that quickly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no way. And then they go, name a time you worked well with the team.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So color's not important to you in terms of catching?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I see people out there whale watching and I go, let's give them what they want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are two months into the new year. How's your new year's resolution going? Chances are you've abandoned it like most Americans. You know why? Because you're setting unrealistic goals. Take it from me. Don't go to a gym. They'll lock you in for life. You need to set realistic goals. And let me tell you, learning a new language is the way to go. It's like a superpower you can actually acquire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm using Babbel, okay. It's a language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions. Told y'all I'm learning Russian, which is gonna come in handy pretty soon, I feel like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole babble process is addictively fun and easy. That's what I like about it. They're short chapters. You feel like you're blazing through it. It's not long lessons. You can knock out a bunch and feel like you've really accomplished something. They're 15 minute lessons. It's the perfect way to learn. Other languages use AI. These are real people who've developed the lessons you're learning from people that actually


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Speak these languages. You can choose from over 14 different ones. Spanish, French.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Italian, German, and you can also talk to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just go to Babbel.com and use promo code Nate. That's B-A-B-B-E-L.com. Code Nate. Babbel. Language for life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. Nate, I'm glad you brought that up because I've been wanting to show you this. I've been waiting for a few days to show you this. We went in Saul.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, uh, I mean, Caleb and I went, everybody's like, you gotta go get a picture with it. So we went and there was a line of people to get a picture with this. It's outside of a gas station.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's just a huge roads, which I guess is a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A chain of gas stations out there. Huge cup. Now Nate, here's the question I've been waiting to ask you. A lot of people are commenting, finally a cup big enough for Nate. All this stuff. Oh, for me? For you. Yeah, cause on your tonight show you talked about how you like big cups and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you think that in your lifetime you've drank enough soda to fill up this cup? And I did the math, but I'm curious what.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is, this is the world's largest soda fountain cup is 4,730 gallons.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, and I think that actually at one point this was filled up with lemonade. I think they had to fill it up once for it to get the world record. Now it's empty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That 4,730 gallons is 605,440 fluid ounces. And as we all know, one can of Diet Pepsi is 12 fluid ounces. So that means this holds 50,453 cans of Diet Pepsi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've lived 15,668 days to today. That would mean you'd have to average 3.22 cans of Diet Pepsi per day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From the, since the day you were born to now, to drink that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At two diet Pepsis per day, it would take 69 years to drink all of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like right here? Alright, that's still a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. He was like, keep an eye out for a giant soda fountain cup.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rhodes is yeah, that's a gas station chain. That'd be like a, you know, a twice daily or a Mapco cap. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can keep a little bit of the wrapper on, like we were talking about with the banana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You keep a little bit of it on. You don't open the whole thing and then just hold it in the heat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the trick that you guys talked about when Jay Cutler talked about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got a little trapped over here. When you're taking a picture, you take your tongue and put it through the roof of your mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You look like the Memphis version of you. How different would your life be if you had grown up in whatever the Lebanon equivalent of Memphis is. And now you have season tickets to the Grizzlies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, look, okay, does your room smell bad? You tape a dryer sheet over the AC unit and turn it on. Yeah. Take those dryer sheets here, put on the back of a fan like that. It's like putting air...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's the thing, Nate, you've got life figured out. Okay. No, I'm serious. You don't need these life hacks. The rest of us were running around. It's chaos out there. I need stuff like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pretty soon, probably next week. And you're going to be trying to turn on the TV and it's not going to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's good. If you're doing this, there's no way you're staying on the beach. Motel six, couple miles inland.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's just, yeaah, last resort if I need to get something going. Doritos are gonna, you know, they're in your pantry. I don't have kin laying around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you're at home. Let's say I'm at home trying to get my solo stove set up. Everything's safe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, if you're backpacking through the woods and you don't have a lighter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you have multiple bags of Doritos on you. You've made some, some air.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I gotta sacrifice the Doritos for some heat. It'd be a tough day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I do? I got my keys, I got them copied at the dollar general and you can pick a little fun design. I got a little American flag. That's how I know it's my house key. You don't need nail polish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a lot of keys. You think this is more keys than I should have?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think these are prob- they probably gave me two keys and I never took the extra.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my dad got, this is my stocking this year for Christmas. It's got a little screwdriver at the end of it. You never know. I just like to be ready.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, how do they know about it? Somebody stopped me. All the fans were right in. No, I've had people from this podcast send me stuff and I had to set one up for my, uh, Mailchimp thing. So I needed one. It's a small one, dude. I'm not, it's not a big, it's not a room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You put it in a glass. That's not a glass, is it? Oh, that's like a toilet paper roll. You put your iPhone in a sink or a bowl, it's gonna amplify the sound.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Up and down. You know? Left and right. Side to side. That's what I'm saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like that doesn't work. We have photographic evidence of it working right here. This is lifehack.org. This is what these people do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, I remember seeing this, somebody said you put a cup of water in when you microwave, heat something up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I tried it once and I don't think it worked enough to do it again, so I've never done it again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh. So you fill it up on the side, freeze it on the side, so that way there's ice all the way up and down it vertically.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that's a lot of what this guy was doing, right? He's grading his own. A hundred and one toilet paper rolls balanced on the head. That's a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I started stand up the, the day after this ended, the first one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember I went to the open mic that Monday night, everybody was so exhausted because they had just did several days in a row. But this is the longest, I think the Laugh Factory had the record.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, the Nashville broke it by a lot. By a lot. Yeah, it was like ten consecutive days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that was in the 1800s, or most of her life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was at one point in his life, he was a legal dwarf and then he became a giant. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was born, he was born with dwarfism and I think he developed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A condition that forced him to grow. So he was four 10 in one decade. He grew from four 10 to seven one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, he wasn't pumped about it. He died at 51. 51. At 7 foot 8.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why did that show translate so well to the rest of the world and some of the other shows don't?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess I didn't see it. Maybe she was playing out like 45 points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Talk that a week after Melvin Gordon. As a freshman, 427 yards versus Kansas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, there it was. So Melvin Gordon, November 15th ran for 408 yards and then on November 28th.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, not if I have anything to say about it. Yeah. That's right. Joe Montana, Joe Montana, probably if you, if you exclude athletes, probably Regis. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How many people have to verify this before it's accepted? Like if you do something miraculous on the golf course?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if Caleb and I came to you and said, I made three hole in ones this weekend, I mean, would you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But would you have to accept it as fact? No, I wouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel that, that feels good. Does that look weird? Be honest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on, thanks man. I'll take that as a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When does the podcast start? Are we going to start with that or is that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you missed it originally when we drove past it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, I did not kind of regret it. Uhm. Oh, you refused? Yeaah, I didn't, I wasn't a big, I didn't really, it was cold. Yeaah. You know. It was really cold. I'm not a big fan of that. Did you take the pictures? Obviously. I did take the pictures. So you were outside? Yeaah. That's me. That's me behind the camera guys on that photo right there. So you could have just switched places? Yeaah. Easily. I just took a selfie by myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And these were like on the internet? Like you got all these from?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the fork and knife, that's all you, right? That's Seinfeld, that's where I learned it. Oh okay, gotcha. I didn't know if you were just like, you made these up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, can you grab that bag of Doritos from the kitchen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and I don't live in a good part of, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I might have to get one after this, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can call Child Services if that's the solution.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you know. The kids, what kind of band are they in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It works good in the pan. If you usually, if you put a pizza on a pan to heat it up and then cover it, like put a little water in the pan, it works. Really? Yeah. So you guys take that with you. You know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, what's, what's, I'm not familiar with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's awesome. I'm technically, this is, I'm doing one right now, I think. I'm the first black comic. Shut up to our muck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How much time you think you could do, like? I had to go up there? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, they will has it off. He's in that and that's all I got pretty much is that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I kinda saw the new one. Yea, I've never seen the new one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like they're not as funny anymore either, like, I feel like I didn't see one that like made me laugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, gotcha, yeaah. You're right, that wouldn't make sense though, if you were like- It wouldn't make sense. If you made four or eight, I think you've done enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I made two. At least. At least two. You made contact with the ball twice? That's what it was. He didn't play ever growing up in Pinehurst? You know, everybody there kind of takes lessons growing up, but never really plays. It's very expensive there. It's not like, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't really watch movies. There's another TikTok thing where you can watch like the summary of movies. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, check me out on socials, Caleb LA Comedy. You know what I'm saying?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Half off margaritas is a better deal than buy one, get one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plus if I feel like if I had a pet that had it genetically, it would hold it over my head.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But we are all looking for simple ways to try to get more healthy. We're all trying to cheat the system.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Trying to do as little work as possible. And this is how you do it. It's a great start to the morning. The taste is great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's easy to make, drink quickly. One scoop of powder with water, you shake it, you drink it. They got travel packs, which are great for any of us on the road. You pour it into a bottle of water and you don't have to eat anything healthy the rest of the day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right now it is time to reclaim your health like I did and help your immune system with convenient daily nutrition. One scoop of water every day. That's it. No need for a million different pills, bottles to look out for your health.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To make it easy, Athletic Greens is giving you a one year free supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with their first purchase. All you gotta do is go to athleticgreens.com slash nate. That is athleticgreens.com slash nate to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But maybe it's more important now than ever to understand what they're saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Babbel is a language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions. There's a fun and easy way to learn a new language. They're bite size lessons. That's what's fun about it. It's like a book with short chapters. You know, you feel like you're cruising through it. You're only like, you know, a few pages in, but you're four chapters deep. So you feel like you're really crushing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, everyone else uses AI, Babel's real people that speak the language, Babel's speech recognition technology. You can talk to it. It'll tell you if your accent's stupid. It'll tell you if you're pronouncing it wrong, which is, I need to take the English one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Start your new language learning journey today with Babbel. Right now save up to 60% off your subscription when you go to babbel.com slash nate. That's B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash nate for 60% off your subscription. Babbel. Language for life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know that if you shrunk the earth down to the size of a pool ball, it would be smoother than a pool ball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Way back. What about the Alps? Isn't the Alps, I always thought the Alps were bigger. The Alps are bigger now, but this is way, way back. The apple, the apple lashes used to be the biggest. Well that's like everything was bigger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, they're top 10 probably right now, but they were of tallest. Yeah, they were number one. Oh really? They used to be number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You staying in it? 10 plus feet. Wow. For sure. Yeah. And with me and my sister and two brothers, we're all day out there just digging that hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In our backyard, when we bought, when my parents bought the house, the, the, this family, they owned a bunch of chickens. So there's this chicken coop area in the back that was fenced off from the rest of the backyard. So my parents said, do whatever you want back there. And we just dug this huge hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But a tree, you should like trees. Nate, they're the only thing where we can actually tell how old it is. We're definitively, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, but you can just measure half, cut it halfway, and then that'll be times two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I spend probably 80% of my money at gas stations.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Well, they're like, well, you're clearly country. You have a single government.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, dude, I, I struggle so hard with saying no to people that I sat and talked to this dude for like an hour. He would not shut up. I just get, I'd go just take my credit card and I'm still paying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He had an iPad with like legit software and I go, can I just make a one-time payment just so I can get out of here? And he goes, you have to sign up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it started to rain and then they, uh, so that made me be like, all right, well, let's just, let me just, I'll just give you the card because I want to get out of the rain. Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll say a sentimental thing. I just, I was just struck by it. It's very, you know, we record this in a, in a room with just the camera crew and us, and it blows my mind that enough people listen to it and care about it. Very cool to see real faces.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were deputized? Is that how they word it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's a real thing. I looked it up. Oh, really? Yeah. It's got a bangle bracelet. Oh, wow. I don't know what it, what's special about it. I don't know what makes it bangle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a bangle. That's what's special about it. It's just circular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here we go. Here's the end. So you get up. Brian just made the good, it looks like you're about to get up. Hey man. Congratulations, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can leave it out. I mean, you gotta put it in something. You can't just drop it on the counter. Yeah. Stick of it, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you ever sit same side with your wife at a restaurant?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think I'll ever do that. But you see couples that- I would- yeah, my daughter-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't know. What do you call that material? It's so comfortable. I've never worn anything quite like it, but I got those joggers too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they ever talk about why he kills people? Does he just enjoy it? He's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I said thanks, man. I thumbs it up and then I said thanks. I don't think I gotta thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Well, you know how it is. When your birthday, you get, you're getting all these messages. It's a big thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you, I think if you open it up, you would see it. I said, thanks, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I love it. I did a show in Amish country this past weekend. Ship Shawana, Indiana. Ship. Ship Shawana.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me tell you, I've done a full 180 on, uh, on Amish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, uh, I just like what they got going on. If everybody I knew and loved was doing that, I would have no problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they can still go to a route, you know, they can enjoy it. They just can't do it in their house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think they would. I don't think they would. I don't think we have any podcast fans. There were like no Amish people at the show. I was kinda disappointed. But I was telling these guys, you know what's really interesting? You're in Amish country. There's Amish people everywhere. You go outside and you listen and in the distance you just hear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can do wifi calling with cricket if you get it all set up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you seen the new flips? No. Those new flip phones? It's like an iPhone that just bends in half?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but what I mean is it's just one screen and that just folds down.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hope that person is gone now forever. Just ending the call aggressively.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just, it's just a phone and just fold, the screen just folds right in the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you find that as you're doing it longer, you think less about the mechanics of it and now it's all just second nature in a way where you can just kinda walk out there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the sides are the star of the show on Thanksgiving. I think everybody pretty much agrees with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] College at a Thanksgiving alone. I was the only friend that didn't go home. It was just me at the dorm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I had no money, dude. I had no money and then my paycheck hit the bank account.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The day before Thanksgiving. And I went, I went to McDonald's dude. And then I went and got some beer and I did exactly what you described. I just went around and got all my favorite stuff and I just spread it out in my little dorm room there and I put on a movie and it was like one of the better Thanksgiving's I've ever had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't remember why I didn't go home that year. It's only a year that I didn't go home.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's so many for one, for like one thing, man. There are some, if you look at like a Chili's, dude, there are some entrees that have like 3000 calories. Applebee's too. Yeah. Applebee's, yeah, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think it had anything to do with that cooking oil that I put? They're like, absolutely not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How good is that? Is that just like the grease in a pot? I think leftover. Okay. Like bacon grease. That stuff you're okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Never. Somebody's always talking. For everything though. The Puppy Bowl has announcers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Peace, that's such a funny word. It's so much more peaceful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not mutually exclusive either. You can do all of those things in like five minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm at the Columbus Funnybone up there. But I'm up there, I got family up there somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the drunkest night in the country. Yea. That Wednesday night. Yea. For Thanksgiving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was going to say that implies we're making cuts. There's no cut or not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Could be either way. It does a little bit. Yeah. Baker. I was going to say me, but okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the house. This is the house he built for his mom. That's what this article said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's just a part of the people. It's tough to blend in when you're 6'9".


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're in the world though, that's what's crazy. That's what's crazy, you're in the world of all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I think maybe her name's Kelly Smith, but she goes by KJ. So that's added there. That's two letters you don't see together very often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's like com, CJ, AJ, I like KJ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And Jay, at some points, he was just like, just give me the computer. Yeah, let me have it. Yeah, you got it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm sure you were. A lot of comments were like, you got to give Brian the computer back. And I got, I think we've forgotten what it was like, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I like now? I saw it at the airport this weekend. Some of these


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the sink has everything right there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if that's the only thing you got, then you have to use it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. I saw the video you walking on stage. That's really good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The loony bit, loony bit there in Tulsa had a lot of podcast fans come out and the, uh, the Eaton's I think their name was there a couple of likes the pockets. They brought a two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or a can of gout ointment for me to autograph.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, they kept it. They kept it. They kept it. They kept it. They wanted me to sign it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's called Goughton U. Goughton U is what the ointment was called. That's a good name. Yeah. Yeah. So that's very fun when people, people do stuff like that, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My bad, my bad. Yeah. The first pitch was awesome, man. Yeah. They, uh, so somebody weighed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who works for the national sound as a podcast fan. So without consulting me, I'm glad he did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He added gout survivor to my bio so that as I'm walking to the mound, the announcer goes, our first pitch tonight is Aaron Weber.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron is a standup comedian and gout survivor in the Nashville area. So super funny. That was really cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it was really, really, really cool just to get to do that and, uh, do a high strike. What does that mean? That means it was pretty high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Larry Bird. The mascot didn't catch it, man. That was the mascot? The mascot was catching it. How high did it go? No, it went through his glove. He just missed it. Oh, it was too much heat. It was too much heat, for sure. Did you go on the mound? I walked all the way up to the rubber. Yeah? And threw it away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're like, we just, we don't care anymore, dude. They're like, that's the end of the season. They're like, yeah, just, just go out there and do whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, watching the video, you actually hear a couple people kind of boo from the top because it was not a great pitch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, Wade, who runs all the merchant stuff is probably runs the merch. Yeah. Or, uh, I don't know his exact the title, but yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he's in there. He's a big fan. He's a big fan of the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Show, oh. They're a local company that does a lot of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're coming up on their 5,000th Saturday night or something crazy like that. It's been going on a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. How many Saturday nights are in a year? 52. Yeaah. Alright, so that's almost 100 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, maybe. I don't know. The Opry seems to be think so. They've been pushing that for a while. Coming up on number 5,000.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think they listen to this podcast. I saw some people comment that or like haven't listened to Nate called Brian Aaron losers and idiots on the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the aught means like, uh, like we, we called the first, the first decade of the 1900s. It's called the aughts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What? The 10s, the 20s, the 30s, yeaah. Oh. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if you talk to like, uh, like Harper. Does she say the 20s?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here they are. And they would, they would play teams of nine, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You were one on one on the phone with the, with the vice president. It is home in Carthage. That's pretty crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Principal came on over the speaker and goes, there's been a plane crash. And we were like, why? Thanks. We don't care. And then we just went home after that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is Roos, she's like three months in working at the White House. A few months in, yeah. Yeah. And you're like, oh man, this is an easy job. I'm coasting and then this happens. It's gotta be crazy. Yeah. To be in the thick of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was shot once and then he brought the guy in and gave him confession.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guy that shot him. There's a famous picture of the two of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Confession the sacrament of where you, you go to a priest and you. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That looks like a prison outfit, doesn't it? Cause he's wearing the same thing in this other picture.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now cares for stray animals. So he's rehabilitated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, what's crazy is just, I'm, I'm eligible to be the Pope, technically. Oh wow. Cause you just have to be, you just have to be, you have to be a baptized Catholic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just be a baptized Catholic is the only, is the only qualification.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think back in the day, yea. 1700s? Way, way, no way before that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think, look, I don't think I have a shot at being the post. I'm saying on paper. I qualify.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Would you like to wear what he wears? You don't even have to, I would love to. He's got some great outfits. His hats are pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But right now. You don't have to be a priest or cardinal or anything. Yeah. To be, to be elected pope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look at your numbers on there. Gaffigan could be the next pope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can, uh, my understanding is you can kind of campaign for it. You don't like officially list your name on the ballot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you can kinda cajole, rub some elbows.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He tapped out. Yeah, which is very rare, right? Very, very rare from what I understand. And just like, I don't want to do this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If anybody, it did not feel good. The last five minutes haven't felt good. I feel like we were rolling before that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think we get a segment of that, whether we want it or not, every episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you think it's almost worth it now he has the story of that? That's almost better than if he were there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Spain was stripped of their intellectual disability basketball gold medal shortly after the games closed after somebody, a member of the victorious team and an undercover journalist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Revealed to the Spanish Business Magazine that most of his colleagues had not undergone medical tests to ensure they had a disability. The IPC...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Investigated the claims and found that the required mental test, which should show that the competitors have an IQ of no more than 75. So that's the cutoff. He had to have an IQ lower than 75. They never took that test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they just claimed the whole team had an IQ lower than 75. None of them did.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I never saw it. It's the one where they're all blue. And it's just Pocahontas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blue man group, unbelievable show by the way. Have you seen them? Yeah, I have. Have you seen them Brian? I have it. They're so good, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I don't know if it's the same dudes. The whole point of it is that they're blue.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It just looks like a big hoodie, but it's a, it's like a poncho.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause you know, 4G is like a, yeah, that's the signal. That's the signal. I'm sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have all your photos automatically backing up on there, probably. I guess so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's true. And it's being taught in high school classes all over the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't ever remember coming up that far to modern day and history class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know if we touched the 1900s ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We probably did all that. I'm talking about the 80s and 90s, where I don't know anything about what happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm surprised. I don't think a lot of, a lot of Aaron Lynn listeners call it the odds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you hear it in casual conversation very often, but I think we need to raise the bar in this country, honestly. And say the odds. Uh huh. That's a good place to start.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this resume broken down? Aughts is like one section. You're like, hey, you can get in leaf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In England, yeah, the equivalent term in British English for aughts is the, the Nazis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like one of those things where once you read it, you're like, oh, I do remember knowing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's so great to hear a comedian not cynical stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I talked to her family about it. Yeah. Because I went on, I went on, this was right before our senior break of senior year of high school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is like maybe two weeks after this happened now we went on vacation with her family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so it was like all we were talking about at the time. Cause it was, it's crazy. It was crazy. It was this huge cultural kind of moment. Like Obama was commenting about it. Like it was insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, I definitely understand thinking that that could be planted. I'm cynical in that way too, where I always think this is all, you know, but I don't think that one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm Fayetteville, North Carolina, Patty's Irish Pub. Headline there this Thursday. Nice. Come on out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's it. Still same shirt. Brian, I think a good thing to say when someone calls you, uhm, the wrong thing is to go, put some respect on my name. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you kicked me under the table for something. Like Bob Ripple pants. You know what I'm talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or if you could do it, I mean, as a serial killer, if we're gonna go down this road, go like uhm, I have a nose whistling problem, can you come over here? And then you like chop them with an axe or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be great if you, uh, could, your nose would only whistle when there was like COVID or something in the air. Oh yea. You know, like an alert system. Like a dog. It's the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer stories, like you make fun of him until he's useful, and then he's your whole family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be funny if you're in an argument with your lady and she's screaming at you and she goes, Get out! And then goes, Gout! You know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's great if you're pulled over and uh, you've been drinking too much and they go, you have to say the alphabet, you know, I'm dyslexic. I'm drunk too, but I'm also dyslexic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually not doing the alphabet backwards, it's actually the letters flipped over. So actually you're doing that wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, like then you're like, this guy's just a comedic genius. Yeah. Exclamation point. Townside taco. He threw an emoji in the taco. I asked him for the alphabet. This guy's making it fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you ever hear that joke where they pull a guy over for a DUI and he's like, I'm in a hurry. I'm getting, I'm a juggler. I gotta get to my thing. And the cop's going, look, I don't believe, get out of the car. He's like, I swear to God, I'm a juggler.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Deep breathing, cold shower, be in shape. Like the guy, like you cron, I'll just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I notice it. I still notice it. I'm not that far along yet. I don't even put it on. Do people get that? It's not a possibility to put it on more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, that guy Wim Haw, that guy's like, they're like, so sometimes you-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, he's a guy who, uh, gets the best out of himself by breathing. And he does like these amazing things. He'll swim underwater. He, he'll like run up Mount Everest barefoot. He does all these crazy things, but it's, it's really, you gotta read it. You gotta read his, I'm not doing his story justice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're really good for you. Like they're really good for you. And also my, like, cause when it's good for your, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We all your, uh, your systems because Tori. Yeah, well when the water hits you, you cut your.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Natural tendency is to tighten up, and the whole point is to breathe through it. Breathe through it and adjust to it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your mind tends to put you in a comfortable place sometimes. And not sometimes, a lot of times. Your mind is just looking for the easiest, most comfortable. And this is an opportunity to tell your mind, like, I'm not, we're gonna do this. I'm not listening to you. Because your instinct is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's just take a quote. You start having that met that conversation and David Go- I love David Goggins. Oh, this is all his stuff. He's Navy SEAL.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's unbelievable, man. He was, he was fat at one point. He was fat. He went through Navy SEAL training three times, which is unbelievable. He does these unbelievable feats, but he, the reason I love him is cause he breaks down mental toughness. Like you, when growing up playing sports or be mentally tough, you gotta be mentally tough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He breaks down the conversation that you have with yourself when you're suffering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you guys doing everything backwards here? Big cities, right guys? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Halloween!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, hey, could I say one thing about Halloween? Like, your daughter sleeps with you every night. I think a cool thing to do on Halloween would be like, for the first time you take her to a separate cold room with a big clown on it and just go, you sleep in here tonight. It's Halloween. You gotta get into the spirit of being scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It really is. And then have to hide the knife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went to the Mob Museum in Las Vegas and uhm, pulled in and the parking is really expensive and I was like, why are you trying to shake me down? Huh? Is it part of it? Is it part of it? $24. Tell the Gambino's I said hi.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like the main one, yea. Yea, there's not a bunch of them. The rest of them are just social clubs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With him, he knows a ton about it. Know all about it, yeaah. He loves it. And I watch all of my podcasts now, I love them. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why don't you do a mob podcast? Because all the guys are, everybody's doing them. All the guys who are in it are doing them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The guys who cooperated, they all have their own podcasts. And I, I had a guy on who was a Bonanno, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get all different. No, but there's a whole genre of people who are just like me looking for mob. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they're hiding from the ghosts, right? So they're like, oh, the ghosts won't know if we dress up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the conversation that Pope Gregory had, like, hey Gregory, can I get a second with you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stingy Jack. I like how they didn't want to let him into heaven because he was too conniving.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd rather be roaming the earth. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More like beggars can't be choosers night. Right? You get what we give you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe it's, yeaah. I believe he saw Lincoln. I believe Lincoln was still making his rounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd be like, uh, set up the rules. If the joke hits, please honk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Twilight Sons, by the way, are just the best. The old ones is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's him with high blood pressure on the rights with low blood pressure. Or gout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I think you should just show up dressed, uh, you kid regular and a knock at the door and go, what are you dressed as? And the kid goes, I'm a vegan. I can't have anything with any dairy in it. And then just lay out your dietary preferences.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it's an insult to give somebody one starburst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're in a package. You don't go buy Starbucks like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh you don't like the fact that you have to unwrap each of them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. I do remember it's a crate. It was a huge thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the idea of just, uh, getting packages of Gillette razor blades that aren't open, razors, the tire shavers and giving them to the kids, be like, I'm being upfront about this here. You're going to, I want you to use it when you're older to shave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about a neighbor who just injects performance enhancing drugs into all the candy and then just gives it to the kids and then you have a neighborhood of champions? Yeaah. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't even know anybody trick-or-treated. I thought you guys just had parties now. Because trick-or-treating is like so dangerous. I thought it was just everybody had parties and you spring candy to the parties and everybody does that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the Vandyverse is great if you wear these. Yea, that would be good. As you're like the, I'm the offensive coordinator.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I make a suggestion? That's pretty, that's pretty, you have a gambit there? How about uhm, a crossing guard? Because you're not a cop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, it's not super here, you're just down home working class, you're a crossing guard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, you carry a flask around, you have a little bit of a drinking problem.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been calling the dog Ollie the entire time I realized the dog was Holly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was the one in the woods that was in the low budget? Blair Witch. That was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So hopefully there'll be some Thanksgiving movies you could force us to watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You have a whistle and then you tell them, you tell them, uh, or you, you, uh, go, guess what I am. And then they have 15 seconds, which is as much time as it takes across the street to guess it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like it, they just didn't like her as a neighbor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you were gonna say you're gonna blame the poor harvest, you had to blame it on somebody, so why not these backwards women?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Existence? Did you ever see him take bread and dip it into someone's blood and then eat it? Never saw it. Never saw it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did they get to the bottom of like, I like the, oh, she's been haunting this family for so long, but did they get to the bottom of like, why? What her problem is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who loses a football game and goes time to go see an arborist?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But doesn't pay, you know? That's true. Take an Uber. Take a Lyft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I say that never would have happened if it was a Helix mattress? Yea. Can I bring the sponsor in too? Yea, yea, yea. Yea. There aren't arbitrary springs where you could get possessed and then slash a priest. Yea. You know? Unless you put it to that sleep number.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As a Catholic myself, you know, these priests had to endure all these scandals, but no one talks about the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When they show up for an exorcism, they're there and they mean business. Like, they're not calling anybody else, you know? They're calling Catholic priests to come in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the idea of going as not to prolong the podcast if you're trying to wrap up, but


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah, please follow me at ComicMikeV on all social media platforms, or ComicMikeV.com on all social media platforms for a link tree, but at ComicMikeV on Instagram and Twitter, MikeVecchione.com for dates. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, my podcast, Mike Vecchione Investigates, available on iTunes and the Macaroni Rascals, which is a Patreon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello folks, welcome to the NateLand podcast. Thank you to Viori for sponsoring NateLand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Vioraclothing.com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Also, hello folks to our friends at Helix Sleep. Nervous about buying a mattress online? Don't be. Helix Sleep has over 12,000 5-star reviews for a reason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Their two minute sleep quiz matches you with the, uh, mattress that is a perfect fit. Plus you have a hundred nights to try it out risk free. Helix is offering up to $200 off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com slash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's go, folks. Uh, well, welcome everybody. Thanks for listening to this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, uh, this is the 100th episode, right? Yeah. Yeah. Pretty crazy. Uh, did you think we'd make it to a hundred? Yeah. I don't know. I don't think I thought of it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They come up, they listen to it, they love it, I, it's, it is fun to do, uh, so, it's great. And I, I love that, I mean, I love how much people are listening to it. And so, it's fun. 100 episodes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So with a hundred episodes, uh, we, we are going to change up something a little bit and, uh, yeah, Bates.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You go, you're moving up to my role, Bates. I'm in your role, let's win. People voted and they wanted more Brian. Uh, so, uh, we're going to change it up and we're adding a fourth, uh, co-host. So it'll be four of us.


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[Assistant] I know people, you know, we've mentioned stuff like that. I think it's fun. I'm excited about it.


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[Assistant] Uh, it's just another comment, another, someone that's funny.


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[Assistant] That, uh, I think fits very well with us. Uh, I believe we haven't blurred out right now. And if, uh, I mean, if you're at home, you're trying to guess, you can pause it. If you want to pause it and try to take a shot. I mean, you think they could never, you don't know who's going to guess.


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[Assistant] Well, we're, look, I think, uh, uh, we're big fans, obviously, and I think you fit well with us. Uh.


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[Assistant] Aaron, I mean, Nate was for it, so. My vote counts more. Yes. Luckily. But they, uh, they wanted to vote. They voted me out.


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[Assistant] It's great, man. And, uh, we're excited. I think it makes it, uh, you know, it's, I don't think anything wrong having another comic on. And, uh, you know, and you got, look, you got big, big shoes to fill. Greg Warren was on last week. He did great.


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[Assistant] No, Greg is awesome today. Well, I'm very excited to have you Dusty. Uh, so a hundred and on. Let's see. Maybe this will be the thing that.


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[Assistant] There was actually a shark attack in Missouri back in 1996. I will include sources for Nate.


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[Assistant] I would guess that that could be why there was a shark on display at the wildlife exhibit that was mentioned. Keep up the good work. As a UPS driver, you guys help Wednesday be my best day at work. Well, good for you. Thanks Josh. Uh, wow. I didn't know that.


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[Assistant] There's a lot, well they have, so they have sharks. Apparently. Is this your first time reading this article right now?


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[Assistant] That's definitely, it could be 50-50 on that. I mean, I could see that happening just as easy as them making it up. Shark, oh wow, they show you where, what's the, others been won?


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[Assistant] Oh, oh yeaah. That's good. Mhm. That feels good.


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[Assistant] And you and Ty, his brothers went to high school with you? Uh, his older brothers did. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, wow, that's crazy. I mean, that was like, yeah, that was big news.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Yeaah. He's lucky that it happened. Uh, I feel like this should be the mayor of Lebanon.


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[Assistant] Uh, Wilson County. Yeah. Well, he's on his way. Yeah. I mean, he's like, cause it's like a real guy that bad. I hope he runs for mayor and he runs hard against sharks. That's his main campaign. No sharks in Lebanon. No sharks in Lebanon.


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[Assistant] Look up like what states, cause uh, alright. Uh, that's fun. Uh, Brittany Sawyer. I think we should let guest episodes just be about the guest and do more state episodes like Rhode Island.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, we do need these. We can just go through states now.


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[Assistant] Wally Gustafson. Gustafson. I bet it's Gustafson. Wally Gustafson.


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[Assistant] Nate was talking about how he had trouble going to the bathroom and someone stood next to him in public restrooms. In college I had a buddy that if we went into a restroom and there was only one guy using the restroom in a line of open urinals, he wouldn't stand next to the guy. He would get in line behind him. I mean, I understand.


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[Assistant] Even not being able to use it with one guy, like if it gets in your head about it. And that's so funny, just staying behind him.


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[Assistant] Yeah, just wait, like fake wash your hands or do, you know, do something in there. Start, you know, start writing a letter.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I thought, I can't remember where I heard that. Yeaah, it's crazy. Some of these, we talked about it last week.


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[Assistant] Uh, but at an airport, I've seen, I think it's, I've seen it too, like you said, and it's, that's, that's, that's absurd. They should be ashamed of themselves. I mean, this is,


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[Assistant] Is that green? Talking about blue? No, no, the little, like next to the blue, there's a bunch of green spots.


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[Assistant] Never knew why we had such a lame mascot until now. Also funny that Nate said all the other state animals die off when mules are the only ones who are sterile and rely on donkeys and horses to continue to populate.


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[Assistant] Love the show, keep up the great work. I don't mind that Jenny's name for the girls. I think that's kind of fun.


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[Assistant] I didn't, I did not. No, I, yeah, I imagine it has to be. But Ginny's is like kind of a cool name. Uh, yeah, Mule's.


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[Assistant] It's like the men's team is the mules and the girl's team is Jenny. She's like, is that female doc? You're like, no, nothing to do with them. They're called Karens. Uh, any, all right. Who went on another route? No alligator. Yeah, I've got a breakdown. They made it in Oklahoma. That's good.


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[Assistant] Peanut butter and potato chips comments. Madison Hill, I'm worried episode 99 with Greg could bring the whole podcast down. Greg reminded us how entertaining it is to listen to someone share on a topic they actually know about. Have real life stories and know the inside secrets, secrets we never knew.


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[Assistant] It's going to be tough to go back to a topic filled with Google research, random tangents and no personal stories. I'm here for it though. Wow.


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[Assistant] Uh, Robin Gortzen Wilcox, Nate saying he bought into Dippin' Dots Sinkline and Hooker.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah, no one's ever said civilian station either.


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[Assistant] Someone, yeah, we might make some sink line and hooker t-shirts. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Uh, Chase house. I love this week's episodes. I personally worked for Frito-Leg as a route.


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[Assistant] The owner said root as a route sales representative. According to Greg, we are the money company and I'm here to tell you we are.


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[Assistant] We have four different brands that sell over a billion dollars a year. Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos, and Lay's. And that's all just your regular flavors. That's not even, they're not even trying.


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[Assistant] We're not even, you know, that's our just main, you know, that's money in the bank.


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[Assistant] It's just like if someone sees you driving around in your truck with the...


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[Assistant] Uh, Riff Quantum. Quantum. That's a fun last day.


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[Assistant] Riff Quantum. I hope he's a scientist. I once stayed in Columbus, Ohio, another test town in the USA while on tour with a band. Ari's in a band. Riff Quantum. That's also a good band. That is a great guitar name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, the locals were told us that living in a test town can be a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because you get a constant flow of new candies, chips, soft drinks, and fast food restaurants to try.


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[Assistant] In addition to the regular ones that everybody has. However, there's also a curse because sometimes you can end up falling in love with a certain food item only for it to fail the test and never be seen again. Ooh, that's true. Can you imagine just you're like, what happened?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What happened to that? It's gone. For a while you could maybe, I would ask, I don't even ask anymore because it's embarrassing you go in and out. There are people that would have even seen the chili cheese burrito at Taco Bell or dead.


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[Assistant] Clifton Hatfield, the Dippin' Dots inventor first sold them at Opryland USA. Wow.


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[Assistant] Wow. That's good. Maybe that's why we felt like we were the test. Maybe we were the test.


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[Assistant] I mean, they were great. I was like, this is awesome. Little, like a little.