[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Matt Wolf, the golfer? The US President episode was hilarious. It was mind blowing hearing you all learn about some of our most famous presidents for the first time. However, watching the whole episode on YouTube, I could only focus on one thing. What on earth is sitting on the table next to the Nate Land sticker near Nate's right orange hand?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I could not take my eyes off of it and my friends and I were trying to guess what it was. Could it have been keys, a half-eaten cookie? One of my friends recommended maybe it was a retainer. If I don't find out what it is, I may lose my mind. Is it this? That's what it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, uh, Kevin Best made us, uh, can you zoom in on it? Uh, uh, keychain with all of us. You got it? You just keep doing this the whole show?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see how it looked like it. Yeah, you're like, alright. Uh, yeah, so that was it. That's what's on the table.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, we didn't. Yeah, we did. I said what, uh, what was the, I said something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the creator, cause he says, well, they both do. The creator goes, I get you started because here's what I would do. Every time we buy a table guy walks in and goes, all right, what I would do is I would probably eat on this table. And we go, okay, well, we have some other options. And he goes, your table. Yeah. Do whatever you want.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I mean, if you make a dining room table, specifically for a dining room, you're making a table for a room where dining is. So the creator is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He does, I made this for this purpose. Right. And what you do with that.


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[Assistant] But that's what like with the philosophy ideas, like if someone says that you go, well there's a point where you're just a crazy guy in the street yelling at cars. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you're like, so I mean, it can, it can all stop, but the, we've all, we needed something to put the food on. Yeah. Our desk to write on is an office. Here we are to lay our keychain on. Okay. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I just, boy, this philosophy, I think I would crush it in there. You would, man. I think I'd go in and it'd be a, they wouldn't like it. I'd just be holes. I go, that's stupid.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I would think philosophy is just put in just to be like annoying. That's how I would think y'all. Some of it is. Like in philosophy is just to like, he keeps saying it. You're going like, just say you don't want to teach man. Like just say that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that would be, that's what I would tell the teacher. Just say you don't, you don't really care about teaching and you're trying to like waste time.


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[Assistant] Cause this is not going to help any, like for you, but you could do that all day long. There's a point where you're like, then you just go, I guess, so nothing makes it an apple and you go there and then, then you're just done. No, you go, Oh, there it has.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We just watched the US President episode and I must say we were genuinely surprised. My son's face lit up the moment you guys read the comments and he sent the episode to all our family members.


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[Assistant] So I have to say that you guys might have gained a few more unsatisfied viewers. We want to thank you Nate for providing us tickets to his show if the Sacramento show doesn't happen. And believe me, I've had some words with my so-called friends who sold me tickets to his show that may not happen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one other issue we might have is my wife overheard the episode in Fortress. She wants to go as well. So Nate, you may have to send another ticket. We will. We'll get you all squared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yea, the Sacramento, Sacramento show is happening, it's just, I think a different day. Ah, okay.


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[Assistant] I almost think we're adding a show in the Sacramento show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And rain check tour. Oh geez. Yeah. Just go to my website. Yeah. Give me a minute. That'd been a little bit easier to go to natebarragetzi.com.


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[Assistant] Sorry. That's what a lot of people do, but either do like Aaron and don't go look at, Hey, we changed our, uh, coloring of the website. Yeah. How about that? Looks good. Right? Real nice. Yeah. Yeah. We did. Uh, I was like, yeah, let's mix it up a little bit Sacramento here. Uh, go to March.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those are, those will happen. I mean, that, that, so it got moved to that. It was supposed to be in August, but then because, you know, Jayden has to finish another school year. Oh yeaah, he's going to be praying college. Straight A's Jayden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, yeah, from what I understand, California is never opening again. But if they, when they do, uh, yeah, so it got, it did get moved to March 5th. Uh, so, but we said to get him tickets to that, or there was a show that was closer to him or something. But if, if you, we'll get you, we'll get you hooked up for that. Uh, or he had tickets. I don't know. We'll meet him. It'll be all figured out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Rebecca F. The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Babe Ruth, but since the candy inventor didn't want to pay babes to use his name, he changed one letter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Babe then sued and lost because the candy inventor lied and said it was named after the Grover Cleveland's daughter. What's my source? History channels, the food that built America, season two, episode two. Your source is about as good as our source. Uh, I guess you're saying they look stuff up a little more than we do. Uh, baby Ruth. Yeah. I imagine what was it like suing someone back then?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From Seinfeld, that's where the guy, how old would she be today? She never would have made it. It's my favorite, maybe my favorite line in all of Seinfeld. It's unbelievable. Like he goes, aunt baby died when she was a baby. And then, uh, still as Frank says,


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[Assistant] How, you know Frank, if Aunt Baby was alive today, how old would she be?


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[Assistant] And he said, she never would have made it. I mean, he won't even play along in the game. He won't even acknowledge it. She would never, yea, I know, but you're like, alright, but just in general, like, how many years has it been since she died? Like, it ain't worth her time. She never would have made it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Thor and I wonder if he, what did they go by Thor? They go, just call me Thor and everybody's like, all right, dude, just, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, maybe they own, I mean, they could own a city. Yeah, probably. It sounds like they.


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[Assistant] Yeah, they did some stuff. Oh yeah. Wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Aaron was right to be skeptical of the history of OK, since he's not really known where it came from and what Brian said was just a theory. That sounds like someone that did own a lot of, of uh, stuff early on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was probably his family was in the mix when okay came about. And he goes, no, I have my great grandparents.


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[Assistant] My uncle said he came up with it. Like these idiots.


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[Assistant] Okay. Okay. And he just says it a couple of times. That's how stuff, let's go started like this whole let's go, which makes me, I've talked about that on here, right? I don't think you have. We've talked in private about it. So angry. Yeah. That's how I privately bring it up. When people just get, they go, let's go. It makes me so mad.


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[Assistant] Do you have an example? Yea, so it's still the worst. You're still the worst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm kind of stuck in my age group.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeah, like everybody, we said let's go when we announced, because the social media, and they posted my special date. They put let's go. And I was like, I was so mad and it was on my thing, but they, someone else posted it and I was like, don't, I can't stand it.


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[Assistant] I don't know, everybody says it. I just don't like when everybody


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[Assistant] It's like I, it's not like I don't like the saying, I like the saying. It's now everybody is saying it.


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[Assistant] That's what it's built for. It's not built for regular people. Just doing nothing. You know, just going...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Got enough gas to get to the gas station, let's goooo! You know, like that's not what it's for. It's, you know, ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Griffin Bryant. Sounds like, that's another one. Griffin Bryant sounds like a park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know? There is a Bryant Park, I believe. And there's probably a Griffin Park. I own both of them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Starting in 1840, every 20 years, whoever was president died in office. This went all the way until 1980, when Reagan survived his assassination attempt and colon cancer, then finished his term.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Twenty years later, Bush had an assassination attempt on him. Now Biden sits in office twenty years after that.


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[Assistant] That's crazy. Uh, did you look this up? I did. You know what?


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[Assistant] The whole, the whole floor is dirt. Like you gotta wear like boots dude, like it ain't, you ain't wearing loafers.


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[Assistant] I don't know. I mean, if you said Vladimir, he would, but if you just had to say his last name. Vladimir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, he's probably gonna be behind bars right now. It'd be pretty easy. He might still not turn around, even though he's the only one in the jail cell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if it would have killed the president. 61 feet. I don't know a lot about grenades. I've thrown a few in my life, but no, I've never thrown a grenade.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was right after 9-11. Who hasn't been sent in for us? Uh, you tell me someone hasn't been sent in for us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Byron Smith, you gotta say, I hate white rabbits to make the smoke go away. And what I said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember saying, what was it? Fuzzy bunnies. Yeaah, I think he had bunnies. But someone commented on it.


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[Assistant] There's a lot of debate about what the exact phrase is. I think it's been fuzzy bunnies, fuzzy bunnies. I think that's what I remember, fuzzy bunnies. That may, when I, someone put that in, I was like, yeah, that's what I've heard. But it's all, but we know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, if you're a rabbit, it's not good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like a breath coming out is what makes it do it. I mean, I thought maybe that was the thinking. It's like when you mouth elephant foot, you know, if you've ever done that, you say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solo stove. Uh, we love, uh, camping out. We're, uh, not camping out. We like doing it in our backyard. We're not going to go, it's not going to get nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could camp out with it. I love, I love campfires though. Nothing better than starting a fire. I'm a big fan. Uh, they look good. I don't like the smoke. That is a big thing. We, we, we do spores a lot. I, but it's, you, you smell like smoke. It's like too much. I honestly, that's a big reason. Uh, I don't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, you just don't want to smell like all that stuff. And that's where Solo Stove comes in.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, solo stove fire pit has been so much better. I mean, it's, it's, it...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's better than anything I've been around. Uh, I'm not sure how it works, but not smelling campfires is what it's, that's what's so great about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Usually when you get home from enjoying time outside with friends or family, you have to immediately shower, uh, off the smell. Not with solo stove. There's no set up. You just unbox it and enjoy. Laura had the fire going in, I mean, 10 minutes. Even I could do it. And I don't ever start a fire. But I could.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little fire starter wood, and you can have a nice quick fire. We have the bonfire with the free stand. It is small enough to take to the front or the back. Or if we go to the lake, it's very easy to take it around. It burns down to white ash, so cleaning up is a breeze as well. Solar stove fire pits, uh, they create great times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stainless steel construction designed to regulate airflow and burn more efficiently. So, I mean, just so little smoke, you'll wonder where, like, where it's going or how there is so much fire. Fire looks awesome. It's easy to keep lit and even easier to clean. Solo stove fire pits are portable and built to last. They are so confident you will love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Check out the deep discounts available during the Memorial Day sale and get a free stand with any fire pit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can use your solo stove on any surface including decks or outdoor rugs.


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[Assistant] You, uh, plus use promo code Nate at SoloStove.com for an extra $10 off. That's SoloStove.com promo code Nate for $10 off on their incredible Memorial Day discounts. But you gotta hurry. Memorial Day sale ends May 31st, which is coming up very quick.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So get this solo stove. We, we do love it. And we, we, like I said, we always do it with our neighbors and, uh, they had one, but you always smelled like smoke and you had to save them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuzzy bunnies, fuzzy bunnies, not anymore, not with solo stove.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] HelloFresh. With HelloFresh you get free pre-measured ingredients and awesome seasonal recipes delivered to your door and no annoying trips to the grocery store. And HelloFresh makes home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. And that's why it is America's number one milk kit. Number one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] HelloFresh offers 25 recipes to choose from each week. Vegetarian meals to Kraft burgers.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which are, that's what I love the most. Uh, if you wanna be, you know, gourmet options, if you wanna be fancy, there's something for everyone to enjoy. I'm really picky sometimes, and I have liked everything they, we have picked. All the recipes are designed and tested.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, professional chefs and nutritional experts to ensure they taste great. You know the great thing with this too is like it's very easy to cook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've cooked for my wife, uh, I mean, I think one time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when we dated, maybe one other time, I made something else one other, maybe three times I've cooked. I don't, I just don't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but with this, you can, you could do it. If you were looking to do something for your wife or, you know, I don't know, maybe your, uh, husband cooks and then you want to cook for your him. And if you don't, whoever doesn't cook.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] HelloFresh is actually kind of the perfect thing that you could do and you could cook and it would be an amazing way to do it. Do you cook?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now that touring has started back at HelloFresh, HelloFresh Delivered makes it so easy for us to cook a few nights a week at home, then you don't feel bad about going out sometimes too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who doesn't want to cook delicious, delicious meals? Delicious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Free meals, including free shipping. That's pretty wild.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's hellofresh.com slash nate12nate and use code 12nate for 12 free meals including free shipping. Alright, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a, it's nice to be back. We were, I've been, it's gone. It's gone for 10 days. I was at the Miami improv. I'm wearing the shirt. They have a very cool, no sleeves today. So I'm going to see how that looks. Some of y'all might already be turned off. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but, uh, they, yeah, they have a great, this is all the staff wears. I mean, one of the best improv shirts I've seen. And, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Miami was awesome, dude. Well, we were in Des Moines before that. Des Moines was wonderful as well. Des Moines was great. Funny bone. Funny bone. Great, great club. And then, uh, the Miami Improv, uh, it's a new Miami Improv. They used to have, they used to, the old one, the room was split, which is very funny, is you go on stage, the door would open, you'd just be on stage. And the crowd, like in the front, the crowd would be sitting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there was like a V shaped wall with an office in the middle.


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[Assistant] So then the seats went like there. So those, if you were in the back, you would not see the other half of the crowd and it, and performing to it was, it felt like that. It's like two different rooms. Two different rooms. And it's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It feels weird. You ever do well in one room and then the other one's not there? Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, I've done shows in two different rooms anyway, just like starting out, but yeah, you could feel like, oh, this side is like not getting it. This side gets it. And you really feel that where when it's the way it is now, it's not that at all. Now it's a great, wonderful room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it was always weird. Funny, I did it with this comic Al Jackson.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, Al Jackson is a, uh, a black comedian. So me and him were co-headlining. Very funny. And then, uh, oh yeah, he was, dude, I called him when he was about to, this was years ago and, uh, I called him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but this was, uh, yeah, Des Moines was awesome. Everybody was very super nice. Great hotel there. There's a hotel called, uh, Sarity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's downtown Des Moines, uh, and they were really, really cool to us. Uh, and it was, it's, it's, it's like brand new and they, uh, the whole, everybody there was like really cool. And then Miami, uh, I went to LA too, but Miami, Miami.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they, you know, it was so many different people. They were young, they were older, it was just a great mix. And uh, Miami's a fun town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been, I've been, but I, uh, I don't think it, we stayed like in Miami, uh, not too far from South Beach, but not in South Beach. We drove over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but Miami's just a, it is a, I like it. It's like a good vibe. Like everybody's, I don't know, it's a fun to party to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, but it's not, I don't know, it's not crazy. Everybody seems nice. Uh, food's great. It was fun. I really liked Miami. And then LA, we went to LA to the middle of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They got some great outdoor shows in LA. There's one called Supernova. And there's another one called Jam in the Van.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there, uh, those are the two I did and there's supernovas in the round. It's all outside. And, uh, it was, yeah, it was, it was nice. It was nice to get up in LA.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just cause it's been Nick was out there and Nick popped out there for us. Uh, Adam Ray, I saw Adam, Adam was supposed to be on the podcast today and he got, uh, he couldn't make it. So, uh, but yeah, it's, it's, uh, I think Adam's.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At Zany's Wednesday. Yeaah. Tonight? Yeaah, tonight. The day this comes out. The day this comes out. If y'all remember Adam when he was here, if you're in Nashville, he's at Zany's. Uh, uh, so yeaah, it was fun. I mean, it was a good, you know, a good little trip. I got Travis, uh, my buddy that I grew up with as my tour manager.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's new, he's having to go through it. He's obviously never been a tour manager.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, where? At, uh, but near the Miami Uproar. We parked, we parked at this famous Dave's parking lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's signs everywhere that say they're gonna tell you. But he went and talked to Famous Dave.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, now he goes and talks to the manager and there and there he's like, can I park at this thing? Cause they were kind of closed. And he goes, yeah, that's fine. And I mean, I think he goes, yeah, it's fine. And then they just immediately towed our car. And so he had to go get it. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so yeah, but he was, yeah, it was good. Justin Smith was with me. Uh, and uh, he does great. And so yeah, it was a fun, you know, did the manager.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's operated outside of him, so it's not like it's Famous Dave's deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just like, they do it and then there's other signs and then they just call this company. Uh, I think they said this guy walks around and just like VME view park. They just, even the towing company, they told them, they're like, they've been calling us all night. Like we've just had to tow everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, yeah, see, I don't know if there's money involved or something like... I mean, look, your part's a no-toeway zone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You can get towed, but it's, I mean, it's funny if the touring guy would be like, yeah, we don't even want to go there anymore. Like they're just calling, we're towing everybody. Uh, so it was tough, but, uh, but we've, you know, overall wonderful trip. Yeah. Wonderful trip. That's awesome.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love Miami. Uh, and I'll be in Naples June 11th through 13th. So one more little Florida trip. And then also the one night only tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have one night only tour. I have all these tour names. The Rain Check Tour. The Rain Check Tour. All of them are up. Uh, all the dates are up. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The dates that we've listed, we're going to be adding much more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So many more cities we will be adding. Uh, I'm touring everywhere and so I get a lot of like, you're gonna add Texas, you're gonna add...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Denver, Chicago, yes, I will be adding those cities. We just can't announce everything right now, but I mean, I will be coming, this is going to be a full on tour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so we will be out there on the road. And, uh, so make sure you go, uh, check that out. A lot of these were added. I mean, we, we posted a bunch today. We've added a bunch of shows. Uh, I think some, some of these might, we might have a third show added. A lot of late shows added.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, just go get these tickets, these tickets, people are buying them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which is very nice and very sweet and I can't thank you enough for not buying them, uh, but make sure you go get them, uh, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can get out, uh, to the Rain Check Tour. All new hour!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeah, that's exciting. That's pretty, pretty amazing, man. Yeah. It's pretty good. Maybe, you know, uh, it could be terrible though. Uh, yeah. So, uh, did, and this is your last week of freedom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, start over. I want to see you as they come over this boarder this way, you going that way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you always see the videos of like them going through a river. I just want to see you walking through the river the opposite way. Hey, is this the best way to go? Yeah, yeah, let's go. High fiving them? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, one of them can have my spot. I'm gonna live, I live here now. Uh, yeah. Oh, you just walk into that river. Uh, that's one of the heartbreak kid with, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ben Stiller, he has to come over the border illegally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they, he does it and he's like, he's got a baby and he keeps getting caught and he falls in the water with Amy. And by the time he gets, he's been trying to get over the border for months. He speaks full Spanish. Uh, it's amazing. Uh, yeah, do that. You don't hear about that much people going over the border that way. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. E.T. you might've already been, I guess, too old for it, but it's, I watched it. That's the first movie I ever saw at a movie theater. That was E.T. Yeah. So how would you, would you have been?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was, uh, yeah, yeah, my parents drove me and you drove yours. I think it was like 82 or something when it came out. Oh yeah. So I don't even remember seeing it. I was three, but I do know that was my first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going back through the Matrix. I don't think I've ever saw the Matrix either. I never have. Well, I started watching it and then it's all, you know, I don't even know if I really get it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I started the second one. There's just a whole town. They just, I don't, I don't want to give anything away. You should watch it. It's like, you're the first is like this little thing that's reloaded. Right. Isn't that the second one? Okay. And then, yeah, they, you know, they don't do two or three. So you got to go look it up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, they were saying, Justin, uh, on the road with us, he said that they were gonna make it, the first one all, like, make three episodes and they go, no, you can make one. So then they had to combine three, er, seasons, er, three, uh, movies into one and it was,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unbelievable. Yeah. And they go, okay, now you can make three. And they're like, that was the whole story. Like that was kind of everything. Like, uh, but yeah, cause it just pops in second one. I don't know. There's a town and you're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, where do the, I got asked like Travis was like, so there's just a town. Like, am I supposed to know that this is, I just don't, you know. And, uh, other thing I started watching your West Wing. Have you really? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have it. Get on it, dude. I'd love to. Uh, but he, he was covering it. Channel 5 News. Uh, President Bartlett? What do you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, I think I'm maybe only two episodes in. Okay. Three, but I, uh, yeah, I enjoyed it. Like I like, I like actors. Like I do like the quickness of it. Uh huh. Uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so yeah, it's, uh, yeah, it's good. That's exciting. Yeah. So we'll see. Yeah. See how far I get. See if I get rolling on it. Yeah, you might. I'm not going to probably understand a lot of this.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, it's like philosophy. It's kind of that.


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[Assistant] Like philosophy would be like that. Eventually you would go, you could get by the end of it, go this whole, like the last day of your school, you go, this is all made up. Right.


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[Assistant] You have an F. And you go up to him and go, let's just admit that none of this matters or is true and it's just talking. It has no real consequences on anything. And he goes, changes that F to an A. And he goes, you did it. You passed the test.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then you're out there talking gibberish. What is a table? Imagine walking in and just hearing that class and this is our fossil.


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[Assistant] How could you not just be, whatever grade he gets, you go, what determines what you think what by grade I should get? How do you know what I should be learning or what I did or did not learn? Like, why didn't you do all that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, well that's philosophy as a whole thing. But if he goes, here's an F, and you go, how do you give me an F and not an A? What if an F is an A? Why are you, who are you to tell me what I've learned about this philosophy class?


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[Assistant] What do you know? Do you have philosophy figured out? Cause either you know philosophy and haven't figured out, or you don't.


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[Assistant] So why, uh, yeaah, I didn't think it needed to be said. I think everybody got that. But, if...


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[Assistant] Yeah, so Aaron, this is how Aaron, everybody listening, this is what Aaron thinks of your intelligence. This is Notre Dame right here. He thinks we don't know. You can change, hey, everybody like us, we've been changing F's to A's a long time, man. Like before we get home, we go, look, it's an A. Why is it a different ink? I don't know. You know, her ink thing ran out when she was doing it.


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[Assistant] Uh, this would, did you have anything? Uh, a funeral. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] Like what, like one? Could you name one? Could you say one or?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like Roger Maris. Roger Maris would be the rookie card you have. It's like a perfect, it's not Mickey man. It's, it's, but it's like, I mean, he had the world, he had the home run record, you know, it's like, it's, you know, it's like a very funny, you know, where you're like, yeah, it's a good card.


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[Assistant] Or a buffalo nickel. I was done collecting them when they were a dollar. He got out of it, he goes, what are these crazy? These ain't gonna go that high.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, baseball cards, uh, it would be curious to see, uh, I don't know if I have any. I mean, I did. I collected them too. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, uh, so this week, uh, we are going to talk about theme parks.


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[Assistant] Uh, you know, we talked about carnivals and stuff, or fairs. A little bit. World's fairs. So we said, you know, what about theme parks?


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[Assistant] I, uh, I am. I like going. I mean, I'm probably getting a little more scared of riding rides than I, uh, was. I was better at it. Uh, if I can get my, but I want, it's hard when you have a kid because you want your daughter, like I don't want her to be scared. I think I got scared of riding rides.


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[Assistant] Uh, one was the Nashville Fairgrounds. I don't know if I told this story.


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[Assistant] Do you remember that white roller coaster they had at the fairgrounds?


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[Assistant] You would, that thing is what scared me from riding roller coasters because something would fall off of it regularly. I mean, if you went, you would see a piece, like you would just see something kind of go down and you're like, is that good that that's down? And it would, it would make you, uh.


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[Assistant] It was just like, not put together good.


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[Assistant] Uh, and so I remember going to that as a kid and I remember, uh, I think we wrote it.


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[Assistant] And then, uh, my, you know, then my mom, I think my mom was like, cause my dad would always want us to go and my dad always told my mom that she's the one that made us scared. Cause then when we were, you know, my daughter's age, eight, nine, 10, 11, like my dad would want to ride a ride and we were like,


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[Assistant] In the world, I don't know if it is now, but, and, uh, I remember my dad said, he's like, you know, we'd always go, he's like, if you, if we go, if you ride this roller coaster, I will let, I'll let you buy something, whatever you want. And I mean, it's so funny that like my daughter now.


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[Assistant] Lunch and like, you know, like you see all you, I mean, there's so many things. This is why I do spend money. Like if I go to a park now, just cause like growing up, uh, which I might actually say this in the


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause growing up I didn't do it, so I might bail on what I was saying. Cause it actually might fit in a spot. But, it's, uh, but yea, we would always have to go out and, uh, like eat, and I just remember wanting to just, you know, I just want to buy the food that's in there.


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[Assistant] If I go to Disney World now, like I, I'm like, we're eating here. We're eating inside. So my daughter's getting the rewards of me getting no rewards. Yeah. And the fact that I will. Yeah.


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[Assistant] You got nothing. You got nothing.


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[Assistant] Yeaah. Uh, yeaah. Operative is awesome.


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[Assistant] Oh yeah. Well, I've seen this, uh, we, I worked there, uh, my first job, I believe I ever had. And I, I remember mom, my mom dropped me off to where I went and got my uniform and I checked in and they gave me a broom and I would just walk around. I was a sweeper. Like I never, I never got to where like you got to send people off on a roller coaster.


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[Assistant] But yeaah, I remember this roller coaster, you know, uh, it's so crazy to me that they tore this down. I don't know why. You talking about Opryland in general? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was hangman. You remember hangman? But that came along right at the end. That came right at the end. Uh, and it was a roller coaster. You, you, you hung, your feet like hung, like so you're sitting.


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[Assistant] But I think it was just such a good, it was a very, uh, original.


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[Assistant] Like it's, you know, country music and all this kind of stuff. I mean Dollywood is that now. But why would they not just make Dollywood just be that? Like that's, uh, Dollywood's great though. Dollywood's awesome.


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[Assistant] But it's just, you know, it's two hours away. It was like opera. I mean, it was, you know, yeah, I was a sweeper. I did whatever I was 15 years old. So you're just doing whatever they need. Yeah. Maybe I think 3.25 an hour was my to pay minimum wage. I remember when the Grizzly


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, it was the one that was like, kind of like, you set all the way down and you go down this hill and then you would stand at the bridge and everybody gets-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeah, kids just get, just crushed. Yeah.


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[Assistant] They're, uh, my daughter does pretty good with, uh, uh, rides. Grizzly Rampage is great. And then she does good with, uh, she would do that. She rides this Jurassic World rider, Universal, and it's a roller coaster. And, uh, she's done it there and somewhere else. And it was one that, uh, I told her.


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[Assistant] We go ride, she goes, I want to ride Jurassic World. And Jurassic World is, you know, I mean everybody knows that Universal, or it's a roller coaster that's with Jurassic Park stuff. And, uh, she goes, I want to ride that. And I was like, I was like, let me, I go, no way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I wanted to ride everything, but I was like, there's no way she's going to ride this ride. Maybe it's a water ride. Uh, and yeah, it's a water ride.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so she goes, no, no, I want to ride it. And I, and I was like, no, and she was like crying cause she wanted to ride it. And I'm like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She gets scared of like some stuff and then I was like very surprised that she wasn't being scared of this. So I went and wrote it. I was like, let me just go see what it is first. And then I wrote and then I was like, all right. I was like, if you want to write it, write it. And that was actually the, that was the moment where I was like, oh, this class for everything's not going away.


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[Assistant] Cause then they shut that thing down and the whole ride I was like, I was like feeling it there. And, uh, so I was like, uh, but it was, uh, yeah, she loved it. It was good and fun and yeah, it's a pretty cool ride.


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[Assistant] Uh, I don't think so. They're just close. I think you can buy a package and it can go, you know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I think Universal's like Nickelodeon. Cause when you go to, when you go to like Disney World, Universal, I believe would be, you see all the Nickelodeons, so like Doc McStuffins was, we would go, that's where, if we wanted to, when she was into Doc McStuffins, which is cartoon,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we wanted to see those things, we had to go to Universal. And those were a big deal for her to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's in Orlando. Oh, Orlando, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been there. These roller coasters I think are going to get nuts. I think it's about to get nuts too. Yeah. I mean, they're like, I mean, you're just going to keep getting, they're going to get crazier and crazier.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's the best. I mean, it's the, that's the whole fun of it. Especially where our whole family goes and you know, we went with my brother's kids who, you know, his oldest is.


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[Assistant] Uh, oh man, I think she's 13 now. Uh, but, so we took her when she was five and, you know, before Harper was born or anything like that. And so, yeah, it was, it's the, that was the enjoyment they believe this stuff's real.


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[Assistant] Like they're sitting there, that's, I mean, you know, Disney's unreal. And it's the, you know, Cinderella's castle. And you're like, you're seeing this little girl that's like, that's where Cinderella lives. Like it's, yeah, there's nothing better than that. There's, I mean, that's one of the greatest moments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll probably remember forever just in taking my daughter, which now she's like a little bit more, now it's a little more fun along for the rides. I can probably get her on a little more stuff. We can ride, ride some more things than we used to be able to ride. Uh, but yeah, I mean, when I was first taking her to meet the princesses and like you're going in and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, to do it, uh, when you go into them, see them be very excited and all this stuff. I mean, it's, uh, yeah, it's unbelievable. You used to have a joke about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, uh, yeah, yeah, but don't, you will waste your money.


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[Assistant] Cause you don't remember it. Yeah. But it's like, you're taking home cause you're like, she can't believe this is real. What we did is like when she was two, we were living in LA. Uh, we would just go to the free part, which was like, you know, outside of the park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All the money to go to Disneyland. It was like, just go walk around this thing. She's too young to get it. Yeah. And then, uh, to really want to see. You can't do much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like when they're that little, like they, they, you know, they want to meet the princess. You're basically just going to meeting people all day. Yeah. Just going to look at stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's, but there's a lot, but you know, with a kid, you're not just like, I think if you got boy, you know, I mean, look, a lot of girls are riding these rides too and they love it, but all my friends that have boys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's like, you know, they're just, it's a bunch of dudes and their boy, they're just running to roller coasters. And so you're just riding, you're like, boom, we got to run here, run here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My buddy Doug, who did our song at the beginning of this podcast, he's got two boys and so his boys are just, they're like ready to roll. And so like he goes, I mean, I think they have to kind of map it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To go like, be like, alright, we gotta hit this ride, this ride, they wanna ride every ride. And then, so it depends on what, who's into rides and not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think you live it again through your kids, but there's people that are, there's people that just go to Disney World that are obsessed with Disney. Yea, that are adults. That are adults. And I don't always completely mind, like, sometimes we always make fun of those people, like it's couples that don't have kids, but they just go to Disney World because they love it so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then, uh, so I, yeah, I think I could see you go, like it's a great,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Vacation, the stuff's all kind of there. It's easy to do. Uh, there's a lot of rides, but even if you don't ride the rides, like you could go and, you know, you could walk around and have a pretty fun day and just eat a bunch of garbage and, uh, it's fun. Like, but I think you definitely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Live through it through your kids. I mean, going to see them see this stuff for the first time is pretty spectacular. I mean, you know, when, when they go meet Elsa and you know, we were, so we got to go with the frozen craze, which was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, unbelievable. Like it's still big, right? Yeah, it's still big, but it was, it was nice to be able to go. She was at the age. It was, I'm sure every generation has their person, but she was at the age where Elsa and Anna and frozen and I frozen was such a good movie and it was, uh,


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[Assistant] So we gotta go like see all that stuff. Trying to think of who that was for me.


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[Assistant] But it's not like they're old, it's like a young person being


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[Assistant] Yeah, you show all those movies. We saw, we met Snow White. Uh, yeah, they, she loves Snow White. I mean, uh, hers favorite have always been that and Tiana. Uh, and, uh, I think that's her name.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If, like, you just go in, I mean, that's just like, the people that watch TV more than anything in life itself. Oh yeah, it'd be great, dude. You got the Verizon guy walking around. Yeah, I don't know if people will be walking around that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That theme park, we're going to need some, uh, one of those, uh, motorized walkways. There's going to be, there's going to be a free for all on, uh, uh, wheelchairs that you drive.


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[Assistant] I mean, I'm just saying, all of it. Anybody that would go to a theme park that's commercials, you're watching TV so much.


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[Assistant] Their whole thing would be like you drive four wheelers around and they're like, Oh, why? There it goes. Cause these people ain't walking around. These people are just in line. They scoot up into McDonald's. Everything's a drive through. They have to go get all


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you would, the clocks would be, uh, 10 minutes fast, so you're always worried that you're late.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the... Is that something you do? No, you're worried. I'm saying... Oh, that's the worried ride. It brings, not the worried ride, like in general, the whole podcast is just, you're, you're kind of like, oh my God, we're going to miss our reservation. Everything just makes you, you're just kind of worried the whole day. Oh, I see. Cause you always kind of forget about it. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We think gout's a bigger problem than people realize and we're just, we just gotta, you gotta stick your, you just pull up and your foot's just out the, out the window and a guy just starts poking it with a pin and he's like, I think you're good. A little hangnail there, but besides that I'd get on. And you go, thank you. We check you for gout before you come in. That's your ticket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you get 20, if you got gout and can prove it, 20% off. If you get that negative gout test. You get a negative gout test to get in. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd be pretty good if you have a theme park based on jokes. This could be, what if we do it? I gotta, I got a long way to go. Tigers. But if you can, if I can start and call it Nate, Nate land is good. Yep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you grew up? Do Nate Land. Yeaah. It's all based on your comedy. You'd have to have some, you'd have to have some awesome rides. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then like, a comedy po-uh, comedy theme park?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We do, you know, you have comedy shows, uh, you know, doing my dad. Magic. Make him do four shows a day. I'm just making them to work. How much do you get paid? Nothing. You get 20% off of your food.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's better than a lot of clubs. That's what I'm going to make him do for making us not be able to eat in the park. He goes, well, can I buy food? It's cost more. You got to go eat in your car. You made us do when we were children.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When, yeah, I had a dog get loose at Opryland. Yeah, you tell that story.


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[Assistant] And I forgot what happened though. It was okay? I think so. Yeah. They found him. He was pretty upset. Uh, the family was not thrilled. Uh, yeah. Yeah. That's funny. It could be like people could see. Yeah. What is some fun nightline rides? I think it's more. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. That would be like the Nathan's hot dog thing. They could do it like once a year. We, we do the Krispy Kreme challenge and that's our big weekend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the one, you go, well, that one's a lot. It's walking around. You go, I know it's pretty tough to get him to lay down, to be honest.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game would go better if he would lay down, but he, the fact that he gets up and walks, it's dead giveaway. And they're like, well, the other one's asleep. You're like, no, no, they're dead.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could make it like, some like, in, uh, one of the games. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Just going through, gotta go through every joke. But you went after everything to be every joke. But yeah, I'll be, I'll make my own Dollywood. Nate Lane. She did it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's pretty good. Yeah. What was the list? Just read through them. Just speak on here. All right. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You read two. Alright. Got a top ten list, here's the first two, then we're gonna move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you see how long you can last. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People leave with real traumatic. You leave with real problems. Yeah. We get you a 0.25 Xanax as you walk out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a baseball team. They, Twitty City was a, uh, all my friends played for Twitty City.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they had a, it was like a, we're all the really good, I think it was a kind of a traveling kind of thing, but it's such a good name, Twitty City. Yeah, it's great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no rides. No. Yeah, it's a neighborhood.


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[Assistant] I don't even know how to give charts out. All right.


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[Assistant] What have you been waiting for? Top 10 Dream Parks. Start at number one.


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[Assistant] And then you get... Is this just in America?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Use, uh, code Nate when you go, just when you go to buy tickets for it, just, uh, as you go in and go, uh, Nate land podcast. And then they make sure they charge you more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I've done this roller coaster. Uh, yeah. And you race, which is the theme of it. It's called the race.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I don't think so. Probably not. Uh, you know, I'm sure it's just different. I'm sure it's like you have more weight or more whatever. Okay. I don't know if you don't really, yeah, I don't think it's like a big, I don't think anybody cares. It's like, you're just on a roller coaster. Yeah. Kings Island is where we, we go. Kings Island is a cool park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's about right. That one said watch three, the video unit says three minutes, but say it's a minute.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. Uh, I wonder if that's all you can jam in. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of, of the minutes. You gotta be just going straight for eight days. Two hundred hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 200 hours. So it's 200 hours. So if you go do it, well, if you go, if they ever let you just stay on, I mean, you would have to go every day. If you go every day, it's open and you ride it nonstop. Wow. But yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. I mean, it's, it's, it's, you know, I mean, I guess it's cool. Like, it's like, you do all of that for him to go, I've got the world record for most roller coasters in the day, and someone goes, ah, it's, it's crazy, dude. Cool, man. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You think a SeaWorld, they're gonna let you just get in there? No, you gotta go a little dicier place. Where you go, can I get, can I touch Shamu? They go, absolutely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's one at, uh, Opry Mills that they've, uh, no, Opry Mills, that, that putt-putt course, the Grand Ole Opry miniature course, they have bumper boats there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, you described it as you were describing bumper boat. Like you were like, it's like bumper cars, but on water. I didn't remember the term that it was called, but you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, they're, yeah, they're everywhere. Aren't they huge? They're huge. We, I have one of my first jokes when I started comedy was about, we live in Chicago and there were, they would be in Chicago and they would be, and so they just knocked a building down next to our building and we lived in, uh, we called it the dugout and it was a little basement apartment, me and Michael. Uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There would be a rat, the rats would, cause they just went inside something. So they knocked this building down. So they all came into our apartment and dude, you would hear them and they were, I mean, dude, it was, uh, the worst.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, uh, but they, dude, they, it was so, they would be so big and we were coming from here. I'd never seen stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I mean, we had like where our water heater was, was this little like, what's the folding door that folds, you know, like, like a closet door that you fold out. And so they would push that door open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they were, because the water heater was like, kind of, had like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Behind the water heater was almost like, just like a crawl space.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so they'd be there and they'd come in the house and they would just push, they'd come through the door. I mean, you had to push the door open.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's there and you're like, it's just under the bed. Yeah. What do you do at that point? I mean, I just, just, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'd almost be enough to make you a quick comedy. Just go, I don't want to do this. Laura came and stayed with us when she came up to visit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, I remember one day she goes, she's, you know, we're trying not to bring up, um, we're like, we're like, Hey, don't bring up that we have at rats living with us. And I mean, they, dude, he'd bring, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had, they brought these mouse traps, these rat traps, they're huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get this rat. So one day one of them gets it. We hear it. So Michael runs in there and Michael's like, uh, he's got, we got a broom and he's like trying to like get it and he's trying to like sweep it over and the rat's like not really on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then like it like goes and he's still alive and dude, I mean, Michael just jerks back and just breaks the door. So now the, the, the whole part of the front door is, was like broken because he was like, we thought this rap was dead and it's not because you got to just get up there. Like what happens when you get it? You're like, well, you got to get it out. Like, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So Laura, I remember Laura came over and Laura's in the bathroom, like getting ready. We're about to go out and I'm sitting in the living room and a rat just runs from my bedroom to Michael's bedroom. And then I just shut Michael's door, like left it in there. Cause I was like, she was there and I didn't want her to know. Oh, there's a rat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, you know, to be like, do you see them a lot? You're like, I see them all the time. They seem pretty comfortable. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. They're like opening doors, opening doors. It was, I mean, dude, it was terrible. Terrible. Gosh. Well, that's not terrible. Yeah. So there's been a lot of ride at Nate land. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take it to the hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's amazing. You don't see the goose head. No. But he's, uh, man, that's crazy.


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[Assistant] He's got to be the most famous, like that guy. Yeah. How old is he now? He's 62. Wow. Yeah. He's, uh, yeah. I was, you had that in the, yeah.


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[Assistant] Finally, I came through. The Bryantown podcast has been studying.


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[Assistant] He's my favorite male model in my top 25. He's top 25 for sure. I mean, he got super, super famous off just really his looks.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Cindy Crawford is even like female models. Yeah. I mean, Cindy Crawford, uh, I guess there's a lot more.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like maybe after the, uh, yeah, they were the bash brothers. That was like the top, the biggest thing on earth.


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[Assistant] On Netflix, we got an Airbnb and it was like me, Dan Soder, Mike Vecchione. And, uh, where we rented this Airbnb, it was next door to Richard Simmons' house. And this was Richard Simmons, he might still be, was not coming out of his house. He was missing for a while, like MIA. Uh, yeah, he was just locked in his house.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but we, we stayed in the house next door to it. We never saw him. He did look. I mean, I don't think we could really see like his gait or anything. Uh.


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[Assistant] That's funny. He goes, all right, I'm coming back. No, I actually need to go back in the house. Like that's 70. He goes, all right, been inside for six years.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I don't remember this. I don't remember that unique of an experience to go, have I been on a pirate ship before?


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. And then, uh.


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[Assistant] Oh yeaah. He seems like fun. My dad did a show once for, uh, uh, I think Johnny Depp's kid.


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[Assistant] He came to the Magic Castle in LA. Okay. And did a show, yea. That's cool.


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[Assistant] Uh, I think his kid was there or something. There was a reason for that. There was something like that. I don't know. I, it's not like I don't, he was there and I don't know if it was like, you know, he's kind of a, his own kind of dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. What about the murder castle? You go, don't be ridiculous, dude. Come on, dude. That's, that's the first, you know, it's not going to be that obvious. Yeah, it's not going to be that obvious.


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[Assistant] That's why they go to Knoxville because Knoxville goes, hey, we're a little bit calmer down here.


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[Assistant] The Chicago World Fair happened and a mayor was killed and an active serial killer was walking around. Was on the loose. And was he killing people at the World Fair?


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[Assistant] And they just, I mean, can you imagine? I mean, that, that whole, the whole park could sue them.


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[Assistant] I mean, Babe Ruth, I mean, I just don't, you know, but you could just sue, like you could go, uh, they go, yeah, what's your complaint? I mean, starters, I didn't, I didn't care for the food, but besides that, I would just say, uh, the fact that you let a serial killer walk around and they go, okay, that's a good complaint.


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[Assistant] I dunno. Could it be that they, uh, let him roam for so long? Could that be how he, apparently no one was trying to catch him? He died at 34. So.


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[Assistant] Oh, because of him? Yea. I was taking him to the World's Fair Hotel.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I mean, you just couldn't probably catch these guys. Like how, like just how you have to basically watch them do it. He confessed to.


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[Assistant] Longer than the racer? Yeah. 200? I mean, you gotta, this is, are guns even like around?


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[Assistant] I wonder how he. And then it's like, uh, and he's, he died at 34. So he probably got caught. Right. He was just hitting his stride. 33, 32. Coming into his pride. So when did he start? When he was seven? It's a prodigy.


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[Assistant] And they have all these- Maybe this is why the world's fair start stops. Maybe. I mean, I didn't know. We think it's like, uh, no one even wants to see that stuff anymore. You're like, no, no, everybody was getting murdered at these worlds. Like we can't do them because they're gonna be able to die.


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[Assistant] And they have basically, they have an x-ray machine and lights that they put the lights outside by the sun. Like I said, no one ever just said, well, you can't really see it. They go, yeah, I mean, we didn't even think about it, but.


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[Assistant] And then on it, you just see someone with a big hat. He's like, I think it's over this way. Like he blocks it all. He's like, now we're going to meet. And then he's just in the way. Can you imagine being at the world's fair? That's what's so crazy is like, so you're there, you're at another part of the section.


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[Assistant] I told her what was happening and she goes, uh, been there, done that is what she said. That's what she said. I go, I hear the president is having open heart surgery and we can watch and it's free, no tickets. And she goes, trust me, it's a waste of time. She goes, I didn't vote for that guy anyway.


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[Assistant] You answered your flip phone and said hello. I haven't had a cherry coke zero, I know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that stuff though, you're going, I mean, you hope that's not true. I find it hard to believe that, you know.


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[Assistant] So I'll do a couple more. Uh, Wilson County. I'd like to see, I've looked at like those princesses, cause they, they are unbelievable. They do such a good job.


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[Assistant] Like the princesses there. And I think they appreciate what they do. I would, I would hope like that's the thing that Disney does so good. You don't feel like they're annoyed that they're there. Like they, they truly give every kid it's, uh, it's time. It's, I mean, it's, it's a pretty special, uh, thing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, I'd imagine, I mean, I think it's a good, I don't know at all, but I'd imagine it's a good job. I mean, when you go walk through there, these, uh,


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[Assistant] I mean I would always say if you ever want to feel what it would be like to be a Beatle.


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[Assistant] Cause you, it's a, it's a, you get mobbed. They can't even walk, they can't even like, kinda poke themselves out. Like it's just, everybody's like rrrr.


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[Assistant] It just goes over to them. So they, they can't just walk around like, you know.


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[Assistant] They have to come out. Somebody has to always kind of be standing near them.


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[Assistant] We go, I'd always be like, let's go see Jimbo. He's just a guy. It's a buddy of mine that used to work there. I told her it was a character. I go, it's an older movie. He gives about a janitor.


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[Assistant] But they're, uh, he, you would go, uh, they, they, they'd be very like, they have to kind of stay protected, like, and they're, they're in an air conditioned thing. But yeah, if you're like an older princess, I guess where they're, no one cares about you princess. They just throw you out in the middle of the 140 degrees and you gotta go walk around just getting mobbed.


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[Assistant] Talk about the ugly stuff. I thought that's what you were asking for. I think you're, and I'll be honest with you, that might be a stretch. I don't know if you looked, I don't know if you looked in the mirror, sweetheart, but mirror, mirror on the wall, mirror on the wall.


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[Assistant] Uh, we might have to do something, uh, a little costume. You ever thought about goofy?


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[Assistant] Just so go ahead. If you want to ride, you're basically signing, you're basically, you're going off to war. You get hit by a car.


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[Assistant] Good luck. You're on your own. You're like a Navy SEAL.


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[Assistant] You're like, that's how they, I mean like the CIA, like those CIA, I've watched some, I'm reading a book about that. Uh, like these contractors, like these kind of, all these guys are CIA contractors. Like they tell, like they're like, there's no backup, there's no, you're on your own, something happens to you.


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[Assistant] We don't come after you. We don't come back for you. Don't ever let anybody know. And then they have a pill they have to eat with just some fat kids sitting on his chest going, Goofy, are you okay Goofy? And he's got a


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[Assistant] The nightmare. Disney World though, one of the best places I've ever been to. Uh, alright, that's it, right? Can be. Yeah, that's enough. Everybody gets it. Uh, Miami and Pro. You guys, how was Fallon?


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[Assistant] That's good. Yeah, Lucy was, uh, uh, your fiance. She changed, uh, she dyed her hair or she changed, she changed her hair, get a new haircut or something.


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[Assistant] I'll come back out. Usually you tell that just to the man. And I felt that he changed to the woman. I go, Hey Lucy, what are you doing here?


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[Assistant] You are, you are great together. Yeah. And I'm excited. We're pumped. Congratulations. Thank you. It will be, it will be a good time. Gonna meet the whole, uh, Weber family. Yeah, they're all gonna be there. Yeah. Yeah. Amen.


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[Assistant] I started thinking more about that question.


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[Assistant] I mean, I feel like we know you're Michael, I'm Toby. And I think for Seinfeld, you are Jerry. You should be Jerry. It's sitting around you. And I am Newman because you don't like it when I come over.


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[Assistant] Why don't they call it that? I know.


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[Assistant] Yeah, oh for sure. Yeah. Have you mailed that letter?


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[Assistant] Yeah, you know, they're playing off what we talked about the mapping out. And that is true. Do you get, if you head down to Chattanooga, you enter Georgia for a little while and then you go back into Tennessee, back to Tennessee and then he back


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[Assistant] Well, we just talked about how we called it a one year war. Yeah. And he said it's actually three years.


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[Assistant] I pointed out that Sunsphere to you in an Uber ride one time in Knoxville.


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[Assistant] But that's what I think of when I think of Knoxville. I mean, that's their one landmark.


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[Assistant] I mean I do remember when I was in Knoxville. I was 10 and I remember it was a big deal.


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[Assistant] They had a, their phrase was, you've got to be there. The 1982 world's fair. That was their big slogan.


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[Assistant] We'll fire some corn dogs, funnel cakes. We'll fire some shots.


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[Assistant] Someone else said they learned about it during orientation at Cumberland, but maybe Haley skipped orientation. I don't know.


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[Assistant] A lot of people. A huge part of the world says that. Yea, a lot of people said kitty corner. Yea. Up north and a lot of, yea, Canada.


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[Assistant] A lot of people have asked, uh, when you get done with the 50 states, would you please do Canada? Will we?


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[Assistant] It's not so heavy. That's pretty neat.


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[Assistant] You may be the first guest we've had who actually knows where he's from and knows stuff about it. Usually they're like, oh really? Oh yea. You know your stuff.


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[Assistant] Uh, Canada is the second largest country in the world by total area.


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[Assistant] But it has 38 million people. California has 40 million. That's crazy.


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[Assistant] Uh, yeaah. So do y'all honor the British monarchy? Like, is that a thing?


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[Assistant] Well, I have Churchill in Manitoba, is that how you say it? Manitoba. Yep. It's the polar bear capital of the world.


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[Assistant] To the point where people leave their, purposely leave their cars and homes unlocked in case they have to run from a polar bear and jump in either.


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[Assistant] Probably all 25,000 live in. Man, that's all.


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[Assistant] 71% of the world's maple syrup comes from Canada.


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[Assistant] 18 million dollars. What was the thing in popular culture down at the bottom for that heist? Popular culture.


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[Assistant] Canada is the most educated country in the world. More than 50% of


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[Assistant] Most, more than 50% of the population has a post-secondary education.


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[Assistant] Well, how close is the snake pit? I mean, could you fit it all in there?


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[Assistant] Uhm, Canadians say sorry so much that in 2009 an apology act was passed, making apologies inadmissible in court. You know about this?


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[Assistant] I mean, I thought it was a national log. It's on the money. It's on the money.


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[Assistant] Right next to the Queen's face, it says, sorry. I mean, it makes it, I mean, apology may an expression of sympathy or regret and not an admission of fault or liability.


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[Assistant] The West Edmonton Mall was the largest mall in the world. Still the largest mall in North America. I've been there.


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[Assistant] Uh, Canada has the longest highway in the world. The Trans-Canada Highway covers almost 5,000 miles. Ooh. There you go.


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[Assistant] Uh, Canada Day was called Dominion Day until 1982. 1983 became Canada Day.


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[Assistant] I remember, I was a Braves fan growing up and I remember when the Blue Jays, Joe Carter hit that home run. No, that was off, that was off the Phillies but, but they went back to back. The first year they beat the Braves.


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[Assistant] Yep. All right. Uh, Boxing Day is the biggest shopping day of the year in Canada.


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[Assistant] He's told two stories on the podcast about you, one that you text him every year about today and the other one was about looking out on the pier or something.


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[Assistant] The CN Tower, Canadian National Tower in Toronto was the world's largest, world's tallest freestanding structure until 2007.


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[Assistant] Hey, why, why are, why was it called the Montreal Expos?


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[Assistant] Canada was first visited by Europeans in the year, around the year 1000. Viking explorer, Leif Eriksson.


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[Assistant] Canada has universal healthcare.


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[Assistant] Biggie. Uh, longest coastline in the world.


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[Assistant] So uhm, it's mostly scientists. I think you mentioned that earlier though. Scientists go up there, uhm, to do research. It has, uh, polar nights.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it's north of the Arctic Circle, so they have Polar Nights, which is 24-hour, I guess. People live up there?


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[Assistant] Alright, here's one from a Canadian folk that sent this in. A Hawaiian pizza was invented by a guy from Ontario. Wow.


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[Assistant] Alright, couple more here. Uh, Ogopogo is the Canadian version of the Loch Ness Monster. I know that, yeaah.


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[Assistant] So like, do they have a hypothesis that that somehow creates some monster like that on that latitude?


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[Assistant] I like your theory though, that's pretty good. Alright, uh, I'll do one more here. There's an area in the Hudson Bay region that has less gravity than the rest of the world.


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[Assistant] I thought the gravity thing would get you guys, but yeah, what's the gravity thing? So they think it's because there were so many layers of ice through the ice age that, I mean, gravity comes from mass of the earth and there's so many layers of ice that they feel like it somehow messed up the gravity.


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[Assistant] I weighed a lot less when I played offensive line, but I was just, I was sturdy as a rock.


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[Assistant] That was when I first met Laura, that she was like, I'm going to walk you to your car tonight. And she's like, you trashed me about it for a while. It's funny.


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[Assistant] You tell me it's a meal? I have a little different definition of what a meal is, you know?


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[Assistant] Oh, I thought you met your, you were trying to order something healthy and you accidentally.


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[Assistant] I hate that too. Did you ever do one? No, I'm sure maybe you have some, you always have a form of that.


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[Assistant] Well another thing is that sometimes it's awkward to just get started. Yea. Like it's hard to just start the set. So using a stock kind of structure like that is easy.


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[Assistant] He says he looks more like a comedy club logo than a comedian.


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[Assistant] Uh, I mean, who's another celebrity that has dyslexia? Joe Biden? Doesn't Biden have it?


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[Assistant] I do remember disposable cameras. And they still, you still see them occasionally.


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[Assistant] At like, uh, you've been to like a wedding where they have them sitting at the table


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[Assistant] But that used to be your camera. Was it just a disposable camera? Oh yeah.


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[Assistant] I didn't know it was that. Okay. They had it in the NBA before that for a while.


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[Assistant] If I leave the room without my phone, I turn around and go find it.


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[Assistant] It's interesting that some of these things have come back in style a little bit, like vinyl's been...


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[Assistant] They're popular for a while now, but you know, cassettes are back. You go to some of these, these hip, uh, record stores, music places, yeaah, there's cassettes. Like new artists? New artists will put their albums out on cassettes now.


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[Assistant] 330, uuuh, nevermind. Thought I had the number. Totally misread the sentence. False alarm. 330? Yeaah. That's 335 per hour. There's no way that's right. Who's on the phone for an hour?


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[Assistant] I think I might have dyslexia because that, that's, uh, 3.35 an hour was minimum wage in 1984. That's what I read.


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[Assistant] Do you remember when that hit? Were you in middle school, high school?


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[Assistant] A Murphy bed? A Murphy bed water bed? Yeaah.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I remember in my lifetime a new type of car coming out. Like a minivan, that's a whole different thing.


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[Assistant] Yeah, but if you see that truck go by, you're not like, what is that?


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[Assistant] I imagine first time you see a minivan, you're like, that's a whole different, different thing.


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[Assistant] If we were a news team, who would be? I mean, are you the lead anchor or are you kind of the funny guy you kick it to in the field?


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[Assistant] I feel like sometimes when shows like that, when they build it up so big, it's just, there's no way to please everybody.


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[Assistant] Was there stuff on TV back then that would be inappropriate enough for parents to be like, I'm not going to let my kids watch that? Or wasn't everything kind of innocent and wholesome in a way?


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[Assistant] And I think, you know, the Viacom owns all those channels. Nickelodeon.


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[Assistant] Oh, did you watch the pilot? Is that what you were doing? Yeah. Okay.


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[Assistant] Denzel's got a bright, he's got a bright future ahead of him. He's got a good career, I think.


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[Assistant] The Empire's Galactic Hope strikes back.


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[Assistant] There's one coming out in 2022, Transformers Rise of the Beasts.


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[Assistant] You think part of that is you remember the really good music and we forget about the bad music.


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[Assistant] It's like, I always think about Stairway to Heaven. The year that Stairway to Heaven came out, the number one song was Sugar Sugar by the Archies that year. And nobody cares about that song now, but everyone loves Stairway to Heaven.


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[Assistant] Everybody's still alive. And Loki's gonna team up with you.


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[Assistant] They're remaking Harry Potter too. Really make it as an HBO series.


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[Assistant] The movies came after. Yeah.


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[Assistant] He's not like, what if Rambo teamed up with Indiana Jones?


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[Assistant] So these are all in like consecutive weekends.


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[Assistant] And who did? Poison, Iron Maiden, Eric Clapton, Kiwi Lewis in the news, Luther Vandross, Brian Adams, Duran Duran, Paul Simon, Tom Petty. It's just the biggest names on Jovi.


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[Assistant] I worked at Brian Adams' concert. That guy is unreal.


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[Assistant] I've done so many shows where the show's over and we're leaving and I look around and I just stuff my backpack full of whatever's back there, you know, like gift baskets and I'll just stuff, you know, I'm going to take it.


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[Assistant] They put a random scene in the middle of the script of their two characters.


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[Assistant] Just to see if people, cause it was so out of nowhere that if somebody, and it was a Harvey Weinstein, whoever bought it was like, great script, but what's with that random scene in the middle? And they're like, oh, he actually read the thing.


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[Assistant] Oh, like from Viori. These are acid wash jeans.


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[Assistant] I feel like that, this is made, they've come back in and out periodically.


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[Assistant] Now these leg warmers look like socks without the feet part.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, more like that. So they look like socks.


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[Assistant] Yeaah, I think of like leaf blowers. I also think of Shawshank Redemption, they mentioned Sears.


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[Assistant] I'll go out there and say the most famous. Alright. Name me a more famous commercial, Mean Joe Green.


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[Assistant] So it's a bunch of mindless drones walking in and then this woman runs in with a hammer.


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[Assistant] No, it's not about Big Brother, it's about like the PCs and the computers of that day had locked you in this box with no creativity or originality or anything and you're a mindless drone.


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[Assistant] With this innovative new product that's gonna free you from all that. Yeah.


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[Assistant] I mean look, they're trying to sell you a computer, so it's all overstated. They did great.


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[Assistant] Made a sudden change to its most beloved ingredient.


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[Assistant] The beef, not the pickles. Yeah.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Pickle contains an artificial preservative. I mean, look, Lord knows what's going on in the, in the kitchens of McDonald's.


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[Assistant] Have you seen the King of Queens episode where he goes, he goes out to a fast food place to get ice cream for him and his wife?


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[Assistant] And it's just him in the drive through line. He goes, I'll take two ice cream cones. She goes, anything else? And he goes.


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[Assistant] Does number two come with curly fries? They go, no. He goes, okay, I'll take a number three.


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[Assistant] I remember, I remember when they brought that back in the OOs.


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[Assistant] He won MVP nine out of 10 years in the eighties. So most of it.


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[Assistant] We have the sequel August coming up and it's pretty similar.


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[Assistant] What's the line from the announcer? Do you believe in miracles? I don't believe what I just saw. I think maybe that's it.


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[Assistant] Uh, cause I feel like early on we were, early on it felt very week to week.


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[Assistant] How do you guys pick topics? I get asked that a lot because they seem to come out of nowhere. We still don't know. Yeah.


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[Assistant] There's a great clip where we were talking about, I think it was an aliens episode and Brian says, some people think that aliens must have built the pyramids because we'd have trouble rebuilding them now and Nate goes, a triangle?


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[Assistant] Do you ever think of yourself as a psychologist up there? I do now.


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[Assistant] Well there's a difference between psychology and psychiatry, right? Yep. What's that difference? One of them can give you medicine. Can give you pills.


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[Assistant] Well, do you get that, Brian? Do you get people go, aww, do you get that from the crowd during jokes that you don't intend to? Happens to me all the time.


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[Assistant] Man, it just turns into like the creepiest show of all time. Cause everyone's just pausing after they say something. It's just silent. Yeah, you need, I like a laugh track. We need to bring that back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm sure we'll talk about that on the odd jobs episode. Well, do you start to not trust laughs after that? That would get in my head, I feel like.


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[Assistant] You can't go to a real prison and then be like, all right, for six days, you guys are all going to be the guards. And then the guards that, you know, there's no other way to simulate this.


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[Assistant] Yeah, the takeaway for me is if you sign up to participate in a psychological study, like,


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[Assistant] What's happening is not actually what's happening. They're messing with you in some way. That's how all these turn out. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] Yeah, that's like the twist. It's the same twist at the end. They're actually, we were watching you do something else. You know? That's just dishonest.


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[Assistant] Sometimes, that Planet Fitness call, I thought about that ahead of time.


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[Assistant] Due to the drive thru line, I take pride in how efficient my order is.


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[Assistant] To join Mensa, you have to apply to join Mensa and then you have to approve of your IQ.


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[Assistant] I was going to say, I feel that every time, you know, before every show here at Zany's, they play Soulman, the Blues Brothers song. Yeah. Before every show and they've been doing that for, I think.


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[Assistant] Years and years and years the whole time. So I will, if I hear that song somewhere else, I'll get nervous. Like I'm about to go on stage because I just, I'm Pavlov's dog. Yeah, I heard it. We played it, uh, kind of as a joke at our wedding, we had it play and I put it on the playlist and I heard it in the distance and I got nervous.


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[Assistant] They didn't look into, I bet the kids that ate the marshmallow, I bet they were happier.


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[Assistant] Well this one comes up a bit. You're gonna know it. You've heard it.


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[Assistant] No, you have to be good at it. Because the same thing...


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[Assistant] That lets you know how good or bad something is, is the thing that lets you be good at.


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[Assistant] So that the people that respond have a higher percentage of actually tricking them.


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[Assistant] We have a, a buddy of ours, a comedian who's a psych, I think psychiatrist, and there is a...


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[Assistant] It's worth it to go, you know, we have a, if you treat, if you give kids, you know, preferential treatment, then you can point to the results and see how, how much better it will do. You don't think there's any value in that?


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[Assistant] No one asked. I was talking, well, it was pertinent to, it wasn't just out of nowhere. We were talking about Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.


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[Assistant] We're talking about Krispy Kreme and I, yeah, I talked to big game. I said, maybe I could, I could probably like 36. Now I've walked it back a little bit since then, since we talked about it more. I said, first of all, is this even something I want to pursue? Do I want to be able to eat 36?


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[Assistant] I told her, I said, if I, I'm not gonna get, I'm not gonna push through the wall. When I hit the wall, I'm done. I'm not gonna push through it.


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[Assistant] I almost don't want to know. Uhm, alright, just say it.


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[Assistant] I just think, I always think of calories like out of 2000. Graves of fat, that means nothing to me. That's like, I don't even.


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[Assistant] That could be you. I'm not traded for anything. Maybe you kind of are. Yeah, that's right. I've been training for this.


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[Assistant] 17 seconds is the impressive. 17 seconds. That's real short.


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[Assistant] I mean, it didn't blow me away hearing it, but 17 seconds is short.


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[Assistant] If he kept doing donut eating challenges the last 10 years, maybe.


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[Assistant] It's tough, it's tough now because I'm about to have to actually do it. I can't just talk.


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[Assistant] I think I'd get through a dozen. Yeah. And then I'll probably, towards the end of the second dozen, I think I'd probably tap out. That's what I think. Who knows? Maybe I'll hit a second wind.


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[Assistant] But my thinking was I'll do it so quick that my mind doesn't.


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[Assistant] Let me tell you right now, I think I'm in far enough that I'm not gonna do 36. That much I'm sure of.


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[Assistant] So how many is that? That's actually generous because calorie wise it's closer to one and a quarter.


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[Assistant] Uh, well I had you eatin' some chocolate ones, so I just wanted to eat some, just, you know.


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[Assistant] If my mother's life depended on it, I could eat a few more. But I feel myself like, oh, I'm about to maybe throw up.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I don't know if it matters.


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[Assistant] Somebody said there was, I'm not too up on that, so I don't know.


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[Assistant] She knew the exact word that would cut Brian the most.


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[Assistant] I think it would trend on Twitter for at least a few hours if we landed on Mars.


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[Assistant] I wouldn't, I would say Nick B that's what I'd do. I mean, these names are all ridiculous.


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[Assistant] They're one of America's founding families. The Booback family.


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[Assistant] I did notice that at the time. It was hilarious.


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[Assistant] It is weird. When do you stop saying months for apparently


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[Assistant] Okay. And then you start going by year.


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[Assistant] That's fine. I don't know why I said 18 months.


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[Assistant] People are making up names to try to be hard or log it in.


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[Assistant] It says she got rid of it. You think she tried to sell it?


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[Assistant] Acido spelled like how LSU spells all their words. You know, the E-A-U-X.


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[Assistant] I mean, why would you want one of those instead of a dog other than just, it's a conversation piece. You can't ride a miniature horse, can you?


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[Assistant] I didn't think about that. Yeah. You just hop on your, your guide horse. Yeah. Wow. That's yeah. You can't do that with a dog.


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[Assistant] The car comes at you, it hits it with its head. You know, it'd be tough if, uh, Acido tried to buy a guide horse and it turned out to be a full size horse. That would be upset.


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[Assistant] Oh, interesting guide horses for people that they live much longer than dogs, but people can also be allergic to dogs. So if you're allergic to dogs in your blind, you can get a horse.


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[Assistant] Well, some individuals are also concerned that a horse's powerful fight or flight instinct may lead it to have less predictable behavior than that of a guide dog. So this, this thing might just run if the traffic's too bad or something.


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[Assistant] I don't understand why they could, they're on the, they're still at the airport.


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[Assistant] What do you think those, those calls from the pilot were like on that plane? You know, every 30 minutes, we're going to be getting out of here in just a minute. Just hang tight everybody.


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[Assistant] I love the idea of the mega bus driver calling their supervisor and go, what do you do? And they go, I don't know, just let the passengers vote.


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[Assistant] I was wondering if those children get to vote on whether they get to drive with that windshield. Yea, I would assume they could. If the kids vote counts for them.


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[Assistant] You can enjoy it through your kid. Yeah, I think that's the.


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[Assistant] I've never heard anybody thinking that's the best exhibit. That's usually just like some janitor's shed with a couple of aquariums in there and just put the snakes in there.


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[Assistant] Uh, you don't care about the monkeys or the lions. It's like, no, I go see air condition. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's having machines in there.


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[Assistant] I don't know if I've ever seen a snake move at a zoo. It just like, Oh, I guess that's there.


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[Assistant] Live snakes? A real snake, yea. See, that's how little they care. They just toss them in the bathroom now? No, it's kinda-


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[Assistant] No, we went to Columbus. Columbus Zoo. Yes, we went to Columbus Zoo. It's a big one.


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[Assistant] Yeah, with us, but I went to find, that's the point I saw. I went to find the monkeys. I don't walk into the little rock zoo and go, where are they keeping?


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[Assistant] The ball pythons, maybe go check the bathroom. Maybe they're above the urine.


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[Assistant] I saw, I think we talked about this, just trash all in the exhibits, and I saw a gorilla eating a cardboard box. This is the king of the jungle. That's where I saw the penguins.


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[Assistant] Wow. Okay. Why don't they just bury it? They have to eat it, huh?


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[Assistant] Just throw it off that little island and throw it out into the...


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[Assistant] Oh, to the monkeys? Yea, to the gorillas? Jane Goodall?


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[Assistant] Why don't we ask you that? There's no Jane Goodall for snakes. I'll tell you that much because people don't care enough.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I feel like you should just let, you should let the mouse live. It's just able to find a way to survive. You kind of earned it, man. I don't know what you, what you do with them, but if they outsmart the snake.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I like you asked how it was presented. I was just imagining your dad had just wrapped it. Just loose like not even in a cage.


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[Assistant] So when they heard Santa coming, they'd all go into a bedroom and close the door. And then they'd hear Santa come. And then they come out and open all the gifts right then. That's how my mom's family always did it.


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[Assistant] Next day, what are y'all? I've never heard this at all. I think, I think my, my grandfather, my mom's side was first generation immigrant. I think it might've been how they did it in Eastern Europe. In the old country? In the old country. Yeah. I think that might've been how Santa did it.


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[Assistant] I guess so. I think my, my grandfather came from Yugoslavia when he was a, when he was a kid, came to Omaha, Nebraska.


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[Assistant] There's a bear on a unicycle who had handed out the gifts. Yeah, just some weird Eastern Europe stuff.