[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't really like getting presents. I don't know if that's like, um, if that's normal or whatever, but I find, I find presents, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like annoying. Yeaah, I just don't want more stuff. I've got, I've got all the stuff I need. Like I don't need, I don't want more stuff. You know what I mean? Like I don't know where to put any of this stuff. I don't really value any of this stuff. You know what I mean? Like most of the stuff that I use. Well that's a very, well someone's not going to be getting any more.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what to do with any of this stuff. I've got enough of my own stuff. I don't know if you guys have this, but in my house, I open a cupboard to get something. I'm very much of the opinion that everything should have its own place, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well we just don't have time. So I like, so I go into a cupboard looking for something, expecting it to be there and I always come away from that cupboard feeling super annoyed because the thing I'm looking for is not there and also like 20 fucking things have fallen out of the cupboard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I mean I don't know why we have so much stuff, like I just, like we accumulate stuff, like especially with kids, kids love to accumulate stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys must have this in the UK, but like now they're introducing all this stuff where it's like, uhm, you can get like bulk cereal, for example, but it's not packaged. It just comes like in a dispenser. So you take like a Tupperware container with you to the store and just fill it up with like, you know, loose cereal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My parents don't live in the same house like that I grew up in or anything. Like I just, there's no, I have, I don't, I don't have like any sort of like a anchor in the past to go back to sort of thing. You know what I mean? Like they don't even live in the same town that I grew up in. Nothing like it's just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish I held onto more stuff, like I wish I held onto more like pictures and stuff, you know, like nowadays, uh, it's easier for like younger people to have pictures of themselves and of, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The parents, whatever, like, you know, everything's digital. It's really easy to keep all that kind of stuff. But like, my kids have never seen a picture of me when I was small because I don't have any pictures of myself when I was small.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I remember I had a leather case that held, uh, NES games. Remember the size of NES cartridges? I had this like, yeah, I had this like weird, it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know, it wasn't real leather, it was just like this fake plasticky looking leather thing, but it was like a case that held like, I don't know, 10, 15 games or whatever, that you had to handle, so you carried around, so like if I went to my friend's house and I wanted to take some games, I had like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This case, I remember having that in my room, uh, like in a, in, in like a place of, of honor sort of thing. Like it was, you know, you had a couple of Nintendo games and that was your.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was your thing. Uhm, man, so listen, talking about old Nintendo games, I bought


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, my son on the weekend, uh, he, he got that new Mario Kart game, you know, the one with the.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like one of those AR things, I guess, like there's like all the little characters. So like it's your house, but like, you know, some of the walls have like, like some stuff on them or whatever. Like it's really clever actually. It's, it's, it's nicely done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but then you can play against Bowser and stuff and he, they could bump you like, and, and it'll make your car like run into like the couch or whatever. Like it's, it's good. It's, it's, it's really well done actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, so we got him that and uh, you know, he's playing and enjoying it. But we also, while we were out, we spotted one of those mini NES things, you know, like the-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's got 30 games preloaded on it and classics too, really good ones. It has like Metroid, Castlevania 1 and 2, Mega Man 2, Double Dragon 2, like all the really good games, right? Zelda, Link.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, Mario 1, 2, and 3. So there's 30 games on there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, you just plug it into your HDMI and it's powered by USB. So we just plugged it into the switch, like the front USB port of the switch to, to, to keep it on or whatever. And it was cool. And then we, so we also downloaded a bunch of Super Nintendo games on switch, like through like your Nintendo account, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this weekend, we, we, we somehow accumulated like 60 games, like just, you know, as you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was so, it's, it's odd like watching my son play games. Cause when I was his age, I got a game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I wouldn't get another game for months. So like you get a game and you just played the shit out of it, right? Like it didn't even matter if it was good or not. That was the only game you had. You had that game and you either played it or you just did something else, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My son doesn't have that. He's just like, he played Metroid and it was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the nostalgia hit me so hard. I was like, oh fuck, I can't, this fucking original Metroid, like this game was amazing. I played the shit out of this game. I loved it. Like, so I was trying to explain to him what to do and stuff and he died like almost instantly. He wasn't even paying attention to what I was saying, nothing. And I was like, no, no, you gotta do this. And he's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Eh, I just like turned it off and like found some other game. It's like, oh my god, like this, how have we come to this point? Like where?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, everything is so throw away, you know, like it's just like, I've got so much stuff. I just don't give a fuck about any of it. I'm just like, I've got 60 games and I'm just going to like play one until I die and then play the next one. And it's like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, you just, you miss out on so much doing that, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't get the satisfaction of playing through a game like Metroid and figuring it out and finishing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've said the same, I'm not actually looking forward to Shadowlands, I don't even know what it's about, I could care less, but I probably will play it for


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, you're chatting about like all the old raids you used to do and you've seen people that you haven't seen for years and, and you're just having a chat and it's really exciting and fun and stuff. That's, that, that's worth it. Just like to have your account for that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did anybody send you any special messages, Flax? Say like, oh, I just want to go out of my way today to say happy birthday, Pyrin Flax. You're the, you're the coolest old guy I know. No, thank god. You're insightful quips and quaps on


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Okay, listen, I've got one for you guys. Uhm, let's do a thing kinda like, a bit like room 101, but instead of like, uh, putting something into room 101, uhm, or not putting something into,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's all talk about one thing that has annoyed or angered you this week. What can you think of one thing that has annoyed you or like triggered you somehow where you got annoyed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and, and tell me what it is. I'm interested to know. What annoyed you, what annoyed you this week? I've got so many, I'm just trying to think of the one that would be... What is your standout thing, kind of like, it could even just be like a theme, like maybe like, you know, some micro angers that like the same thing, like, you know, spread out throughout the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This video wasn't about fetishizing this though, it was a joke, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't even, do you know what? Smosh is a name that I have not heard in years. Like I just forgot that they existed. Like are they still going? Like they're still doing the same old stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They were kinda like PewDiePie before PewDiePie, right? Like they were huge. I remember them, they were like top of the pile when we, when I started anyway. I remember them being big.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What a great segue into another topic. That's Jennifer Capriardi. Oh crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When's your birthday? The 5th of June. 5th of June. I share a birthday with a very famous streamer and it's not me. It's somebody else who's way more popular than me on the platform that we share. And I keep maintaining that we should be soulmates, but I don't know if he's up for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, but do a search for like later births on the same day, uh, people that share my birthday and see who comes up. Yeah. Like I'm talking like some younger people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Terrence Hill, Brendan Gleason, you share a birthday with Brendan Gleason.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, what about Jack Wright? A 17 year old TikTok star. He's also born on the 29th of March.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a lot of these, there's a gymnast here, Kellyanne Stankas. She's 24. Stankas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who else? Irene, the pop singer. Do you know who Irene is? No. Tess Daily!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about Scott Wilson? Scott Wilson, I think this guy played uhm, uhm, what's his face in The Walking Dead, the farmer, uhm, you know the old man, Scott Wilson. He has a birthday, he shares a birthday with you as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow! June 5th, famous birthdays, number one, okay, number one on famous June 5th birthdays, Ninja, the Twitch star. I know, yes, I know. That's who I was talking about. But guess who else is on this list? Go on you. Mark Wahlberg, number six.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Guys! Guys! I'm number 32 on this list, guess who's number 38 on this list? June the 5th. No idea. Kenny fucking G.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep. Kenny G. The singer? Kenny G. What do you mean the CSGO player? Kenny G, the saxophonist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your number one on this list for your birthday, Louis, is a woman who's 28 years old called SysSysSniperWolf, a YouTube star. You are bested by SysSysSniperWolf.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we got rid of ours. The sofa? We got rid of our cleaner. Oh, the cleaner. Cause like during the lockdown and stuff we were just like, uh, fuck, let's just get rid. We dumped her in the lab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was like an industrial deep clean. It was like we were selling our flat and it was just like after all the furniture had moved out and stuff, we just noticed that it was like kind of a bit grimy in, in spots. So I was like, I'm just going to phone this company up and we'll get like a really big deep clean done on it now that it's empty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was like two guys came in with like a power vac and like a fucking hose extension and all this shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's accused of like killing her husband, uh, and then she gets off somehow and then she actually kills her husband in the end and, but she can't be tried for it again, but he deserves it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wa- I wanna say that it was like, uh, Bill Paxton or somebody like that, but I don't think it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like their problems are so deep that this is just not even close to the root of it, you know what I mean? It's a symptom of it and there's so many other symptoms as well that sort of get their limelight when things crop up or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't keep flax down. He's going to say, he's going to say what he's going to say and you can't stop him. That's the thing. He's like a, he's like a runaway train in the middle of the night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, you know what? On that topic, cause I've done that quite a few times recently with various things, it sucks doing it. It sucks leading up to doing it, right? Sucking yourself up to doing it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even the depressing notion of booking an hour to clean something or whatever, you know, the whole thing sucks, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the catalyst for change for this was I had to go get my son's bike out of the shed because he decided he wanted to ride his bike around and a whole bunch of stuff collapsed onto me. You were in there for like two hours looking for it. And I got so annoyed that I was like, fuck it. This is now taking my top priority. Like I will.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, who turned up in a truck, loaded it all up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he, and he took it to the dump and it was a big old load. I couldn't have done it myself. At first I thought, you know what, I'm going to start loading up the car. Nah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This isn't my- What did you chuck out on the list? Oh god, there was old stuff, like we had like this old shelving unit that was like modular, you could take it apart and put it back together, like the poles that had like these little plastic things that-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like a shelf for paint or something in a, in a garage. Like there was like one of those, there was a whole bunch of old bags of hay and straw. We used to keep guinea pigs. Yeah, a long time ago, but we had a whole bunch of paraphernalia for them after we moved. Um, we haven't had any since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is this your car? Is this your car? This isn't even my car, is what you're meant to say. Oh, whose car is it? Nothing is yours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's general things like that overarching, uhm, in America that, that, that is true sort of thing, but like when you, if you're looking at like how


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Governance like everything, like everywhere is different. A lot of problems that America had like in, in say like the 70s and the 80s, you know, when serial killers were getting, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, it's way less than that. You don't get that as much in the UK because the entire system is the same across the UK. It doesn't matter what force you work for, it all lines into the same thing, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think it's, I also think it's really natural, uh, like it's almost like a natural human thing for, uh, for police to profile in the way that they do. I'm not saying it's right and I don't, I would never defend them either.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Police forces in areas where profiling is done a lot more than say some sleepy town that has like 2000 people in it and they're all sort of like, you know, polo shirts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like the police force there is going to be far different to like a police force in like a big city where they're profiling like crazy all the time. Uhm, you know, there's a lot of guns in America so that there's always going to be some element of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People being scared that somebody's got a concealed weapon or whatever and like, it just feels like so, so many things all lead into these bigger problems and, and the whole, it feels like the whole thing is just such a fucking mess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like it's crazy too, you see like the footage that Flax is talking about, about, you know, cars ramming people, horses trampling people, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It, it, it is disgusting and it just, and it, it just shows how ill equipped some of these people are like to be doing their jobs, right? Like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's say you run a police force and you're hiring people or whatever and you found out that, you know, one of your guys is acting like that, you'd want to get rid of him straight away, right? Like there's just no way that that person is in any sort of control if they're doing that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently in America as well, the, uh, the unions that, uh, that like protect, uh, police officers or work for police officers are, are really powerful, like huge, really powerful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and we'll oftentimes get, um, officers off for misconduct or whatever, uh, without any jail time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Without any, you know, any like, uh, any sort of like knock on effects to like the rest of their lives sort of thing, you know, like they could get, they could get caught up on some, some sort of misconduct or whatever, and then just get discharged from the force.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's just so fu- there's so many problems, like, eh, it just, it's, it's like a, it's like an unsolvable thing. It's just, they're so deep and there's, there's so many and it's just the whole, the whole thing is just completely out of whack, like it's just-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well they are, they started militarizing their police in the 90s under Clinton I think was the, was like the big sort of instigator for that after being like lobbied to death by like, you know, people who wanted to see this thing, to see this kind of stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, but that's again, it's a vital component to the privatization of all their prisons and stuff to you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's nice is that they spend a lot of time getting this legislation in, uhm, you know, like Obamacare took, uh, you know, two terms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, to get in and it's, and it's just been, it's just been stripped away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's an establishment just like anything else. When they do get the young people in, they'll be direct descendants of the nasty old people who will


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know bits and pieces about it, like from, you know, the news or things that I've read, and I'm kind of interested in it as well, but I don't know enough about it to be an expert on it, clearly. I certainly have like opinions on the whole thing or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The whole thing is so crushingly depressing, like I feel like I never come away from a conversation like this feeling hopeful or good or anything. It's just such a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No they don't though, this is the thing, cause again, and I think the way that things work in America is that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of the people, uhm, are sort of like in the place they need to be, you know, like in, in, they, they're, you know, middle, upper middle class or,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm fine and never think, uh, never spare another thought to it sort of thing. You know what I mean? Like, and I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just hearing it reminded me that it's just like this, this forgotten, forgotten insult from the past, like, like so many that have died.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tits is like, I feel like especially in Britain, uh, tits you can get away with. You can say, you know, like I'm off my tits or, yeah, it depends on how you say it, but I think, I think you could just about get away with it. Uhm, cocksucker never though. I don't think you'd ever get away with saying cocksucker.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, obviously, I'm, I'm, I'm saying like, you know, if Peter K said it or something, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, he'd probably just about get away with it. There might be like a bit of backlash.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you like that? It's kind of like we're like a basketball doubles, you know, like I let you, I let you get the slam dunk, even though I could have gone in there and easily done it myself, you know, like I could have probably done like a 360 in the air and slam dunk. Yeah. You set me up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're interested in all of this stuff, like the Black Lives Matter movement and everything that's going on in the news and stuff,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, obviously go read up about it on, uh, on places where, uh, that have, uh, good information and not, uh, opinion pieces like we've just given you. There's, there's plenty of information out there. Uh, it's all very interesting as well to read and, uh, there's, there's definitely causes that you can support.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, as well if you want to, uh, don't take it from three basement dwelling nerds who


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, listen, listen. Two minutes, okay? Two minutes so we can leave on a light note, okay? And I mean it when I say a lighter note. Okay, you guys were talking about YouTube and the stuff that's in your, in your YouTube recommended or whatever. I went down a rabbit hole recently. Don't ask me how or why.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I started watching these fucking creepy ass unexplained


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so there's like, to give you an example, okay, a couple of guys in the 80s go to the Grand Canyon and they're out there by themselves, there's like six of them or whatever, uh, it was like for a bachelor party or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just having a fun time, you know, having a couple of beers and just like, like, uh, admiring the Grand Canyon and taking a couple of pictures and stuff, you know, just normal stuff that guys do, alright, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, they take a picture of one of their friends, like, you know, doing like the standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon sort of thing and he's smiling and everybody's having a good time and they're all like slapping each other on the ass and saying good hustle and stuff and then they,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they leave, right? And they're like, all right, let's go. So they get their pictures developed, uh, and, and, and they, you know, all get together to look at these pictures of like the fun time they had and stuff. And they look at the picture of the guy who was like standing right near the edge of the canyon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they noticed that there's just some fucking dude that they've never seen before standing in a bush like right behind him and he looks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Creepy as fuck, like he looks like, like Satan or something. He's got a hood on. Sometimes it's just a picture that's been taken.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, but they, they did like an enhanced, you know, like they've gone through it and looked at it and they said, it's definitely a person. The photo has not been altered or anything. And it's just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That- wouldn't that make you feel so fucking uneasy? Like, just to think like, what the hell? Like, who is that guy? He wasn't with us, like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, better of it and hit in the bush or like, there's all these different theories and you just think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, pictures of like, you know, a family staying in a hunting cabin over the weekend and like a kid takes a picture of like his dad sitting in a recliner or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you know, they're going about their business and then they get home and they look at the picture and there's like some fucking dude just standing in the window like behind and nobody even noticed. He's just like out the fucking backyard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, uh, it just creeps me. Wah! My skin is like crawling even just thinking about it. Wah! It's just, uh, so fucking creepy. I don't know how, like, you feel good about that. Like, you just think that, like, wah, I don't know. I would just be stressed constantly if, if I got home and looked at my holiday snaps and I found that. I feel like they were like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you were shit scared of unsolved mysteries as a kid like I was, and you're looking to somehow relive some of that pant shittingly scared, scaredness or whatever,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then go look up some of these videos on, man, they're, they're so fucking creepy. But again, it's somehow moreish as well. Like you just like can't stop watching them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need to stop watching them. Honestly, I'm just gonna creep myself right the fuck out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry for creeping you out right at the end of the podcast, but thanks for listening. And we'll be back next week for some more podcasting. Yes? Yes. Yeah, that sounds great. We lost Flax. He's gone. I think he's just lost the internet. So I'm sure he says bye too. We'll see you next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, I'm going to do my best Lewis doing the intro to the Triforce Podcast impression.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello and welcome to the Triforce Podcast. I am joined by Lewis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Georgia is incredibly close. It wasn't close, and now at 98% of the votes, it's within 0.4%, but I still think that's a Trump win for Georgia. North Carolina is gonna go his way, Pennsylvania is gonna go his way, Nevada looks like it should go Biden's way, and that would give him the win if he wins Nevada.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing, one thing, and this is not, um, this is not me saying, oh, this is nothing like that. All right. This is simply that I've seen a lot of people on Facebook. I have quite a few American friends on Facebook from when I grew up and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they clearly voted Trump, and now that they think that they're going to lose this election, because they're worried, because they were expecting a Trump landslide, and that hasn't happened, it's possible that Biden will win, now they're all coming out with the, hey, whoever wins or loses, let's not rub it in people's faces, remember we're all Americans, and I'm just, I'm just thinking, fuck you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've had four years of you rubbing it in our faces, and the same with Brexit, you lost, get over it, ehhh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen to me, let me tell you something. If, if Brexit had failed, you wouldn't have had people going up to people in the street and saying, you're gonna have to go home now, which I've seen in my fucking area and I've seen on buses and friends of mine who are not white and British.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're told, why are you still in this country after the Brexit vote went through? You're not gonna get that if Biden wins or if Brexit had failed. There is a difference, a fundamental difference.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You. You do not deserve respect. And it's about time we stopped giving them respect. When, when anyone wins, like Obama wins or Biden wins, there's nobody marching around going up to churches and saying, fuck you motherfuckers. But there are certainly plenty of people marching around going into churches and shooting people when people like Trump win. So fuck them all. Anyway, that's my take on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I honestly don't see how people could be as offended by some kind of hippie vegan march or like a save the environment march.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How can that be as offensive and can you, how can you say that that's the equivalent to people that the gammon patrol out literally screaming, singing, you know, football chants, like a bunch of, they look like football hooligans. Holding flags, yea. Seriously, and getting in people's faces and trying to start shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I will say this, but the only people that I see in my neighborhood who have flags were the same ones who had, um, Brexit stuff out in their, um, front garden and stuff like that and in their windows. And there does see, if you, like, we went to Kent, remember last week I was on the Isle of Sheppey,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were, you see a lot more Union Jacks flying in people's gardens, uhm, and I mean-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's actually, sorry, the Union flag. The Union flag. The Union Jack is what you fly on a ship. The Union flag is the regular flag. What's the difference? Um, it's the, it's like a different way up or something like that. There is a difference between them. There's something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree. Politics should be boring. I've said it for years. It should be boring, boring, boring. It shouldn't be a vast difference. It should be steady progress towards making things better for as many people as possible. It should not be people trying to fucking murder each other in the streets.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had another... Do you remember I told you about my heart thing, the SVT?


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[Assistant] It was not Monk. I haven't played Dota with Monkfish in a long time. He pops up in chat, but he definitely doesn't make me angry playing Dota. It was nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was not Plague, and we were, it wasn't Ashwin, it was none of the lads, it wasn't Cine, we were just playing. And it started, and I was like, uh, maybe it'll go away. And we played the game, and at the end of it, it was still going, but uhm, because of the Covid and everything, I didn't want to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's a thing you can do called the Valsalva maneuver, which is where you sort of, you know when you're trying to clear your ears on a plane and you pinch your nose and you blow? It's kind of like that, but you don't actually blow, you just sort of tense up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And by tensing up all the muscles in your chest and blowing air in there, you sort of squeeze a little bit of blood out of there into your extremities, and it kind of restarts the rhythm in your heart. Or it can do. It works most of the time, but occasionally you have an attack that doesn't stop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm sort of not feeling too bad, and I was like, let's do another game, lads, I'm sure I'll be alright. So we played a whole nother game of Dota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my heart is really racing the whole time and I'm starting to get clammy and I'm starting to get tired because your heart's just going. And I was like, wow, I really shouldn't have played that second game. And it gets to like 10 o'clock and I'm like, fine, I'll call the ambulance. So I get out and I tell Mrs. F.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, yeah, 200 BPM is an emergency. I was like, oh, I didn't realise, I thought that was just like, standard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] SVT, but it was sometimes going to like 220 BPM, which is insane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Given that my heart rate right now, to give you some idea, I've got my Fitbit on, hold on. Is 78, right? Which is perfectly chill. Uhm, that's just slightly elevated.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I chatted to the nurses for like three hours while they were all faffing about, and they go take blood, and they shaving my chest, and they got paddles all over me and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And previously, like, here's the thing, you hear different things from different people, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nobody really expressed to me the potential dangers of SVT, uhm, until this time. And then the guy was like, you know, your heart could just stop. Like that's the danger. At that heart level, at that level, your heart can't maintain it. And there is a chance it just gives up the ghost and like stops. And I was like, oh fuck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like that's going to affect my anxiety, because I previously thought it was harmless but annoying. Turns out it is actually quite dangerous. So, they've given me these beta blockers to slow my heart rate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, the primary goal of the Jingle Jam is to raise as much money for these charities as possible. If you have a good bundle, you get money from people who otherwise wouldn't have donated. That's important.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know, do you know what occurs to me? That your history on Tinder dating has probably come in handy as training for this moment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it would be nice if the companies put it in their Twitter bio, what they were looking for, a bit like on Tinder, you know, six foot, six figures, 12 inches. That's what they should put. If they want to get involved with you, it used to be a certain mix. By the way, had a message on Twitter. Let's roll back the years to a very old episode of Triforce Podcast. Someone tweeted at me, this is from Pixel Prince.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, another man tried to intervene with the shift, and Roberts obviously had it. Listen. Lewis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he absconded a day or so during another visit to the Canberra hospital after he had been uncuffed for treatment. While free, he robbed a service station, threatened the manager with a knife, and yelled, Give me the fucking money, you bastard! After that incident, he had a police chase.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he's just, this guy's a nut. He's an absolute nut. One of the victims received burns to a large part of his body and the man who was stabbed required stitches. Absolutely hideous. Honestly, just never go to prison. It sounds like a dreadful, dreadful place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Violence and, and terror. And horror. And, uh, I wonder if...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a guy that I was at university with. He was, he was, I guess he's probably the age I am now. This was back in 1996, 95, 1995 when I started university. And he was our housemate along with a bunch of other lads. He turned up on the first day and he'd come from Broadmoor, uh, prison. That, that day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, he'd just been released and he'd signed up while he was in prison to attend university and do a course in psychology and he was there. And he told us all kinds of prison stories and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He used to love it. He used to start trouble with the prison guards just because they were bored and they wanted to fight. He'd always loved fighting. He just loved it. He'd go to the pub that he knew was a fighting pub.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People went to that pub hoping that shit would start so they could have a fight. Some people just love it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We don't have, we don't have the kind of wars we used to have. They're rolled on with like, you just signed up and you just have a grand tour of Europe fighting everybody for several decades before you come home. You don't have that anymore. These guys have to find their thrills elsewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say Elephant Man is probably the least David Lynch, David Lynch film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Blue Velvet, he did Blue Velvet as well. But yea, all those other ones are more, much more lynchian, cause they're all creepy Americana and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but Elephant Man is not like that. It's really different. Anthony Hopkins is in one of his best ever performances and John Hurt as well. Brilliant movie.


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[Assistant] I was just listening. I watched the entire Twin Peaks. It was like a thing. Me and my mum would watch it.


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[Assistant] Uh, this was whenever it first came out. We'd watch it in the evening. It was like a big deal. It was like event TV. 1990. Yea, it was event television. So I would have been 14.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and we would watch it and our dog would howl at the opening theme because he, he, what we know is like, dude.


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[Assistant] And I remember I loved the show. I hadn't really seen anything like it. Like Sip said, it was like, there wasn't really anything. Cause it was prime time and it was a big blockbuster show.


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[Assistant] My problem with it is the same as with a lot of David Lynch's stuff.


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[Assistant] That I think some of it is willfully obscure and just leaves the audience wondering what the hell it was about. And I don't know if he gets a kick out of that or if it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand that, but I have some problems. First of all, Mulholland Drive is a prime example, right? Really interesting film, a lot of theories about the ending, but there are some parts of that film.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That seemed to exist in a vacuum. And the reason for that is it was meant to be a series


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And sort of faints and passes out, and we don't hear anything more about it again. It doesn't come up in the film, there's no conclusion to it, it's just a weird throwaway thing that happens in the film. And I think a lot of stuff in Twin Peaks is like that, where


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He has an idea for something that sounds interesting and chucks it in and you're just meant to not understand what the fuck is going on. And then you're meant to theorize about it. Like all the stuff in the, what is it, the red lodge or the black lodge, whichever that is, the little, the little, uh, the little guy speaking, talking backwards and all that kind of stuff. I remember watching that in the time when we were just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what the fuck's happening. The audience is not in on the joke. Whatever it is. And I do get a little bit annoyed by all that kind of TV show where they just put this stuff in that's, oh, it's meant to be mysterious. Fuck off. Tell a story.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I just don't like filmmaking that is intentionally, oh, it's up to the audience and vague because I think it's lazy. I really do. I think it's lazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think it's as difficult as you think to throw something in that has no beginning and end. I'm not saying he's not creative and coming up with something that goes, that makes you go, wow, that's crazy. You know, I mean, like for instance, the,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, the, uh, the little fella in the, in the red lodge, like I was saying, speaking backwards, I couldn't have come up with that, that's amazing. No, yeah. At the same time, for the audience, what does it mean? What is this? Like, it's all very well coming up with something original and creative and having a vision for something.


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[Assistant] Understanding visually, audially, orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde- orde


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[Assistant] But if you can't make that mean anything to the audience within the story, it is essentially just masturbating on screen and just saying, look at my cool imagination, but I'm not going to explain it or tell you how this is relevant at all. You're meant to just bask in the glory of my imagination. I find that a little bit annoying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, he should be experienced enough to know that his shit's gonna get cancelled. This is David Lynch.


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[Assistant] Do you realise if you watch, if you watch a lot of these shows like the X-Files, if you watch it once a week, you don't realise how fucking cookie cutter every fucking episode is. Because if you watch the X-Files more than one episode in a row,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can literally copy and paste the format and the structure of episode 8, episode 15 and episode 23. It's so formulaic.


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[Assistant] These are all shows I don't like because they're literally the same fucking thing. So, I agree with Sips that Twin Peaks was original. I hadn't seen anything like it, especially in 1990. It was mind blowing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But now when I watch it, I feel all the, I feel the weight of years of people banging on about Twin Peaks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I just can't handle it. It's been 30 years of still seeing that same picture of Laura Palmer's dead body. Ooh, what happened to Laura Palmer? I've stopped caring at this point. I cannot muster the energy to give a damn.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I recommend another TV show? I don't know if you've seen it. Did you guys watch Devs when it came out? No. Have you watched it, Lewis? Devs. Devs. D-E-V-S. It's got Nick Offerman in it.


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[Assistant] You know, uh, Ron Swanson. It's that. It's not a comedy. It's a very, very dark, and in my opinion, brilliant TV show about this company.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm out in Silicon Valley that has a very mysterious project called Devs and you'll gradually find out what that's about as you watch the show. I think it's brilliant and I was glued to it and it is genuinely thought provoking and bonkers and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And whilst we drove past a lot of golf courses, I didn't have my clubs with me and I didn't want to put my family through watching me play golf for several hours. And now I had an email yesterday, my golf course is closed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, because of the lockdown they've had to close. Although there is a petition, sign it. It's 200,000 plus strong signatures saying,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you want us to have exercise, why the fuck aren't you keeping golf courses open? Because if you want to talk about social distancing, have you seen a golf course? There's not much interaction with other people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My kids hate Donald Trump, but they don't know why. They just don't like him. And I think part of it is that I have, you know, ranted about what a twat he is and they've picked up on that, but they're just like, oh, I hate Donald Trump. I was like, why? Tell me why. I was like, oh, he's just horrible. Like it's just kids don't understand and they shouldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So sorry, Sips was complaining before we started that his body's falling apart, he's got an earache.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, just try wearing one earphone for a while, that fixed it for me when I had a bit of an ear thing. Cause I wear headphones like 12 hours a day, that was the problem. It wasn't like airing out my ear properly. Don't stick anything in there, alright? Don't fucking stick anything in there. Unless it's a paracetamol or whatever and you have to get that in there, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you do some troweling in the background? Are you building a house in the background?


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[Assistant] Let me have a look, hold on. Can you see like a shape, a good shape underneath them? Do they have tattoos? They're big, they're big lads.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are they like wiping the sweat off their brow, leaning back and going, ooh, and like shaking out their hair and like kind of just their glistening muscles. You've got a different vision.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wish once like that. That's one of the days. Shit. So we're, we're falling apart. Sips, you got, you got, uhm, I did exactly the same thing this week. I got like a, I bit my lip. Okay. And it like, just like, and it swoll up a bit. And then every time I eat anything, I just bite it again. Yeah, I've got that as well. I've got.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well. Might have to get some antiseptic, antibiotic ear drops or something. Well, I went to the doctor, like I said. I'm not the doctor, obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've watched a few episodes of Dr. House, MD, and I reckon- You think it's lupus. I mean- Slum bagel. What's the other one? Lime disease. It could be lime. It's not lupus. It could have lime. Have you been near any, uh, rivers? Limes. Have you been near any limes? Or supermarkets? Yeah, fruit counters. Lately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, it's that moment when you, you look in the mirror and you're like, oh, you're really good. And then you let go of that breath.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've definitely put on, put on some weight, but I'm, I think it's boredom, right? It's cause I'm sat, I'm sat around at home and I'm like, what do I do? And it's either...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly, and you already had like a croissant and like a fucking, you know, a banana sandwich and some honey on toast already, but you're like, oh it's breakfast time now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was watching, what was I watching? For some reason I can't get this out of my head, okay. I was watching this show on Amazon Prime, because I finished watching Bosch, right? I've been watching a lot of shit on Amazon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bosh is pretty shit, I watched through it and it was alright, and then I started watching Goliath, right, which is like, kind of like, another s- it's like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bosch is like a detective show with this grizzled detective trying to, you know, he's solving like a case of like one murder but it turns out to be part of something much bigger, okay? Right. And then he uncovers this massive conspiracy or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, as a lawyer, and he's super fucking weird, and it's just a weird show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there was this, but there's these, sometimes these amazing episodes, and I don't want to spoil any, but there's this one episode where they're on this almond plantation. You know how all these almonds look, right? Oh man. You've seen them. They just stretch on for forever. Yeah. Uhm, in the California valley, and they use like, you know, so much water. Yeah, that's terrible. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They have these machines that drive along them and shake the trees. And they shake the tree to like drop all the almonds off. And I've always thought in my head, what would happen if somebody got shaken up by one of those shaking machines, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or like the, also like the mech suit from Ripley Alien, you know, when she fights the alien with that. Uhm, it's always like, I always think of how you could use like these, kind of, I don't know, it's just a, it's like, like steam rollers. You know, I've seen someone get flattened by a steam roller on telly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's nuts. Anyway, there's this scene in it where a woman is standing by an almond tree and then someone drives a shaker, shaker thing, up to her, traps her against a tree and shakes her and the tree together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's this other episode in the series, cause it's kinda crap, but one of the episodes is like, he basically just wakes up with no memory of where he is in this weird house, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, it's not really a spoiler, but it sort of turns out that he's, um, you know, that they're trying to keep him there because they're not sure what they're going to do with him, right? So these sort of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These sort of cartel guys have got him in this house and they don't know whether they're going to get the order from above to bump him off or not, right? And so it's kind of like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so he kind of has to like, like kind of go through this sort of, cause he's like just Billy Bob Thornton, right? He's basically a kind of a skinny looking sketchy guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I mean? Like, I think Billy Will Thornton had some problems with anorexia in his early life. Almost like he just didn't eat for some reason and he got very thin and I think he got drunk a lot anyway. He's kind of a weird guy and he plays kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To like, seduce this guy and then, then like, stab him in the balls. It's just nuts! Ah, and I just, I just, I just, it was one episode of this series that I just thought was great. So, I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Turns out I am recommending this show to you. Goliath on Amazon Prime. Go for it. Why not?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes like, it's like Star Trek though, I love Star Trek, but half the episodes are crap, you know? Yeah, definitely. But sometimes it's worth watching just for those, the good ones when they come along, you know? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think maybe though it's a case of just shotgun effect of if you make, if you make 26, four of them were good. If you only make four, only one of them were good. You know, I feel like, I feel like sometimes they don't know if it's going to be good or not until it's done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically like this guy came up with a chess puzzle about 30 years ago and it's really fucking hard. Like so basically the idea of the puzzle is you should see if you can, I'll see if I can find it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's see if I can find it. But it's like, it's like a kind of complicated chess puzzle. There's loads of them out there. Oh, I can see it. This one was like, um, so, you know, why, why is it supposed to win? Okay. The idea is that why it wins. So I was watching this video.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy was like, if you want to pause this video now and solve it yourself, go ahead. Um, it usually takes people about two months to solve, but it's really fun to do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's like a really long project. I was like two months and he was like, I'll give you 30 seconds. So he just sort of just stood there looking at the camera for 30 seconds and then he went, Oh, so if you've come back, well done. Like who is coming back to this video two months later?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, get the solution to this thing. Uh, anyway, he basically, he basically explained it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless someone had uploaded the solution to these chess engines. Most chess engines can't actually solve this puzzle because it's like 40 or 50 moves you have to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Solve, right? And it involves this incredibly complicated dance around the board, but every move makes sense. So for example,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Every single move you will lose if you make the wrong move, you see. So you kind of have to reason out this, this process where it's like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Out of all of these different moves, this is the only one I can make or else I lose, right? Because this happens and this happens. And so you, it takes ages. It's kind of this incredibly, it's like doing a jigsaw puzzle, you know, that takes you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so apparently like a lot of grandmasters struggled with it. But one of the bits at the end that blew my mind was at the end there's this like dance move where you have to move your bishop around like 20 different places on the board.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's like, you go here, and then they go back, and then you go here, and then they go there, and you go around, and at one point Black has like four knights on the board, right, because they've been, they've had to like, you know, because they've been able to move their pawn to the end of the board, but they can't use a queen to stop you, they have to use a knight to stop your bishop, so they've got


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before knights go around the wall, as soon as you, uh, knights, the way knights move in chess is pretty complicated anyway, right? For someone, cause you're like, okay, they, they kind of, that L-shaped move is like, like weird to, to get in your brain, especially just to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What squares they can cover at a glance if they move, you know, that's one of the more, I think more difficult things that I never really was able to just get in my head. Right. But I was just like enthralled. There's no way I could solve that puzzle myself ever, but I was just like amazed by it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I tell you what people are saying now, they're saying meta. Oh, that's, that's, that is a meta.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right, right. It's like, it's like rappers and songwriters who are looking for rhymes and they find something and they're like, you know, we're going on a financial adventure. You're going to be indentured. They like, they, they, they look, they make these things and then they go into the like public, um, like vocabulary from there, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can't imagine being on holiday right now, going to restaurants and kind of, I don't know, being in a, being in a hotel I guess.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were they a bit deprived of toys? Your kids? Like after some years?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just a weird time, isn't it? So it's turned out so differently to how we thought it would as well, I think. But relatively, well, perhaps serious, but also there's no panic. People aren't looting and going crazy, are they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, no! I'm not even bothered, I just, sometimes it's like the same as sips, like I just get this, you have to say something because it's totally innocent, you know, but it just sounds weird. Do I have that manner? You're lying on your bed staring at your wife while she's doing housework. No, no, she's not doing housework.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's because old people can't get away from it, I guess. They just don't know how, they don't know how to watch TV anywhere else, right? They don't have Netflix, do they?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stay safe, look after yourselves. We care about you guys. Thanks for all the support and yeah, cheers everyone. Have a good one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know if they are. I've played a lot of games lately. I've played a lot of talk of lately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You really do. Especially in the last few years, it's, it's become genuinely noticeable how, how much my reactions are.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've literally been walking behind my daughter, my, my youngest especially, up the stairs. I'm like, you gonna brush your teeth? Yep, I'll do it right now. I'm like, okay, she gets to the top of the stairs. Yeah. And then she's organizing her Pokemon. She's off doing something else. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You were gonna brush your teeth? Oh, oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Goes in the bathroom, closes the door, comes out, I was like, did you brush your teeth? Oh yeaah. I was like, what the fuck are you doing in there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like if you imagine the average conversation that I'm having with another adult, they can't follow it when they're little. So they just get used to your voice being wah-wah-wah-wah-wah like in the peanuts, right? Like that's all that you sound like. So they just tune you out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like my 8 year old is very good at dodgeball apparently. And I don't know how, but she's like a dodgeball champion in her mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm wondering if it's just because, you know that scene in The Simpsons where Bart throws the frisbee at Santa's little helper and it just goes like tonk right into his eyes?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like they can't catch, they're hopeless. Uh, it's kind of funny to see them playing, uh, I actually, a couple of years ago we were in the park and there was one of the other kids birthday.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was like a 10 vs 10 football match that they organised just in this bit of the park.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, this is great. Like me and a couple of the other dads joined in, we were just like standing at the back, passing it to the kids. It was great fun. But they, they run around, literally, it's like some badly coded piece of AI where it's like, right, we must follow the ball.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's just like this herd of, like, it's like a triangular wedge of kids just chasing the ball around. But if the ball gets kicked anywhere else, they all sort of pause for a second, then turn, and then uuuh, and trundle over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get the, recover the ball. It's just, it was, it's so funny to watch. It's like a really bad school of fish. That's how they play games. They just sort of run around. They just love to be running around.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when, but that's why when you see a kid who's actually good at football, they stand out a fucking mile because they sort of, they have that moment where they put their foot on the ball and put, and pick a pass. And you think, oh, that kid's like light years ahead. That's like, this kid is a genius compared to the rest of these kids. It's really funny to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mates have sons, like, I think all of my mates actually have a son, apart from one of my mates who's got a daughter like me. I've got two, obviously. And, for whatever reason, they're just not into football. Like, I've tried to encourage them, they're just not into it. So, okay, fair enough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But my other mates, all their sons are into football, like massively. Which isn't surprising because all their dads are into football.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they go along to these games and they watch them play and some of them coach the teams and stuff like that. I'd love to do that, that sounds like a lot of fun. But the teams that they come up against sometimes, some of the differences in ability is insane. It's like a Premier League team playing against a pub team. So there's this one private school that my mate's kids team had to play against.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That had ties to the Barcelona Youth Academy and like a couple of other youth academies. So these kids, apparently this school produces like young kids who might potentially play professional football one day against my mate's son and a bunch of his, a bunch of his friends.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was just, it was like a slaughter. These kids were like on another level. And I thought, geez, how is that fair?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You do what it takes, but I was like, you're telling me, wait a second, this school has links to the Barcelona and Juventus youth academies? And you have to play against them? These kids are like eight years old! It's unbelievable. And then this other bunch of kids, they got like the list of team names in. There was my mate's son's team name with all names like, you know, Jack and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like that. It's not allowed to be like that. Like the referees, like I know that there's been a big push.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It must be so, so strange and horrible, but I'm, I mean, I think most of us of our kind of age have had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it was just little things, like, they're out of the conversation because they can't keep up. They don't know, they don't, I'm sure in part of their mind they're thinking, who are these people? But they kind of understand, well, they're all in this place. But you think, how can you remember some old detail about your life, but you can't remember who I am? Like, it's so tragic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You should play it. I played it last night for about 20 minutes and I thought this is exactly Sips' kind of game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and hire people. Right. And design layouts of your station and try and make it efficient and stuff. But it's very pretty to look at. Right. I like the, I like the, the, the graphic style a lot. Okay. And I thought. Yeah. And it's English. It's like, uhm, it's like Brixton Road is the name of the station. Everything's in pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. So it's like, I just thought, you know, Sips would play this, I'm pretty sure. Oh, I'd probably play that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it would be nice to, when you wake up or just to have something all the time and say, don't forget, you have Alzheimer's and everything is going to be, and not everything is going to be clear. And a picture of you saying, don't worry or something. And you'd be like, okay, yeah, I've got to bear that in mind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean here's the thing, I'm on this WhatsApp group, I talk about it with chat a lot because I get WhatsApp messages. It's for my road. Like there's little WhatsApp groups popping up all over the place that are just like super local. I've got one for, uh, my youngest daughter's class. So we all talk about, like the class reps in there can tell us what's what via WhatsApp.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they can say, don't forget so and so is tomorrow and that's like dress up day or whatever. So it's very handy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then there's one for our road and because of lockdown we started it because it's like this way if you need something or you need help or, you know, you can use this to communicate and it'll sort of grow a little bit of a community on the road. And it's things like, I've got a spare cupboard if anyone needs it. And someone's like, oh, I was just looking for a cupboard. Boom, sort it out via WhatsApp. Right, very simple. Uh, so someone posted something the other day. It's a letter that they'd received through their mailbox.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I'm like, why would you believe this? I was like, this itself looks like a scam. They're like, oh god, yeah, my daughter sent me that screenshot. So she hadn't received it through the letter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. And they were like, oh no no, my daughter got this. She was sent it by a friend. I was like, it's like, in my day, you used to get, uh, chain letters. This is what it is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But there used to be actual letters. That's the thing is it used to be, like you would get randomly in the post a letter and you would open it up and it would say, congratulations, you're part of this chain letter thing, blah, blah, blah. You must send this to 10 people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's exactly the same, it has not changed. I just thought it was really interesting. And also people used to get something called poison pen letters, I'm sure I've mentioned this in the past, where it's like you would get a letter, an anonymous letter from someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just calling you all the names under the sun and saying that you're lousy and no good. You have no idea who it was from. And I'm thinking that's just social media has now replaced that. Now you just get-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Horrible anonymous tweets or horrible anonymous Instagram messages and stuff like that or comments on your post. These people were always out there. But this chain letter shit is the same thing. Someone's made this, they've printed it out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they sent it, they put it on Facebook and people are blindly sharing it. It's, it, it's amazing to me. So,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Those old people are gonna read that, and especially if you're senile in some way, or you have Alzheimer's or whatever, or you know, you're just losing it a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're, they're super, I mean they, these people get scammed out of tens of thousands of pounds sometimes these fucking young assholes come into their houses. They're fucking scum, like they're absolute scum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But do those people, this is what I don't understand, is there any moment of reflection that these people have? Is there even one moment where they're alone in the dark at night and they think, God, what am I doing? I'm ripping off old people. Or are they literally absolved of all guilt mentally?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, it's like the, uh, people talk about the, the coronavirus stuff and the blitz spirit and how we've all got to get together and, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And all that, it's absolute bollocks. The black then, the blackouts that they had to prevent, the blitz, people were furious about it. The reason they had to have police


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Going around, these wardens going around and telling people to turn their lights out. It's because some people are like, I'm not turning my bloody lights out. I'm fucking, I meant to read the paper. You know, it's like that was the, this actually was the same then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My dad, oddly enough, my dad is exactly the same. If everybody else has one opinion, he'll be like, well, and he'll have an opposing opinion. I think it's a natural...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Suspicion of whatever the herd thinks is probably wrong. And honestly, it's a pretty good principle because most people are fucking stupid and wrong all the time about everything.


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[Assistant] So I actually, I don't mind the contrarian opinion, because at the very least you're not just going with the flow. You must be questioning things to have that mindset. So yea, keep it up, Lewis.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was, uh, the other day, I decided to watch some television a little bit, and I generally haven't been...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Doing that. And what I'll do is I'll mute the television when the ads are on because they're so irritating and they're always so fucking loud and I'm getting old and I just can't fucking be bothered with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I left them on for a bit, and is it me or half the ads have a fucking ukulele in?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or some jingle jangle music. Right. And every, half the videos I see on YouTube, or the adverts I see on YouTube, it's the same tune. You'll know it straight away. It goes like. It sounds like Sims music. Ding, ding, boom, ding, ding, boom, ding, boom, boom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was talking about this with my mate, and we started linking each other, classic fiend tubes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So we were sending each other classic theme tunes from 70s and 80s TV shows and at the BBC and at ITV they used to have these guys who were composers and they would come up with these theme tunes and they were fucking amazing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I just think, what happened to the creativity there? How can we supposedly live in this era, which is teeming with creatives, who are doing all this fucking, you know, oh yeah, we're creatives. There's, there's meant, there's so many more people who consider themselves creative these days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're exactly that. Bunch of sandal-wearing fucking hippies. Right? And they're all, they literally just wear whatever they like. They swan around with their fancy haircuts. They call themselves creatives. They fucking watch YouTube all day. And they look for the hot meme-y videos, and they just copy that. And that's why...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I've definitely spoken about this before in this podcast, a hundred fucking percent. Do you remember OK GO? The band OK GO had a series of videos, very coordinated, they hop about and they dance and the video is like hyper choreographed. And about 18 months to two years after that,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You saw adverts with that same shit in. So some video had this jinkly-jangly music on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two years later, every fucking advertisement that you see...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Then they have to go and do research on it. Go back and try again. More research. Go back and try again. Then they finally release their precious jewel into the wild. It's an advert.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What the fuck are we talking about? Oh Christmas is coming! The new M&S advert will be out! Fuck off! It's gonna be the same as the last one. Tug on your heartstrings, a dog on a trampoline, a penguin who's lost his nuts in an industrial accident. It's just the same shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno. Hofmeister Beer used to have a guy dressed up as a bear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Iconic, right? Huge advert. Nowadays it's all the same! It's all just jingle jangle shit, a gently spoken soft voice, and they really try to make you sad. There's no laughing in ads anymore, it's the same boring shit every time. And every family, like every advertising company has


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Focus group the shit out of it. It's like, alright, let's have a family that's so diverse it looks like those old Benetton ads where you thought


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Give me a break. We know what you're doing. You guys don't actually care about diversity. You're just trying to shoehorn in every possible category you can to look hip. They don't care. Stop watching the adverts. Mute the TV. Go do something else. And that and my next rant is about Britbox. Can we talk about that?


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[Assistant] Right, so it's basically a streaming service that the BBC and ITV have got together to horn in on some of that sweet Netflix money. They think they're gonna compete with Netflix. This costs a lot of money to set this shit up. It's available in all these different countries. US, Canada, UK, Australia. That's where it's out at the moment. Get this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wanna know, if you're an American, or a Canadian, or an Australian, you're what, you're listening to this stupid fucking podcast right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You tell me, if you subscribe to Britbox to watch Holby City, let me know! Because I want to know how many people out there are doing that. And then there's all these other shows that I actually quite would like to watch again. Like for example, A Bit of Fry and Lorry, classic show, right? But I've got to now fucking pay for this shit? I fucking pay for it the first time I own my license if you want me to pay for it again! It's bullshit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I suppose I could use the Xbox. I could play things on the Xbox, couldn't I? But I've gotta go downstairs, fucking ugh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, the case that I've got, you can't even fit one on this. No.


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[Assistant] Yeah, I chose th- I chose this case, and I was like, yeah, let's stick a Blu-ray player on there in case someone watches Blu-ray. I was like, oh no, that's not compatible with this case. I was like, wow, that's how little you need this for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, who needs discs? But I've got all these old DVDs sat here. Loads of them. I've got series after series and movie after movie that I just, I don't want to throw them away because I'm like, what if, what if I can't get hold of Dr. Katz ever again, for example?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So wait, wait, wait, so are these films, are these films all mafia themed?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So schlocky. But it didn't because that was only the last like 20 minutes. Like the build up was really unsettling because it's just like a family arguing and falling apart and there's something creepy happening and it feels bad. But the bit that stayed with me was when the young kid


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And this is spoilers, obviously, if you haven't seen it. At the end, he's running away from his mother, and he's standing there, and he hears something behind him, and he turns, and there is Paimon, the devil's sort of sidekick, just looking at him from around a corner, grinning, and sort of lit kind of spookily, and he's just smiling, and he's like, god, that's fucking terrifying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know that uhm, I was, I did some interviews for Valve over the last couple of weeks where we spoke to game developers and there's a guy called Airdorf who made a game


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, called Faith. It's a three-part thing that he made. Uhm, and it's like in a retro style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a lot in common when it came to, uhm, things that we found scary. Because one thing that really scares me as an atheist...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm actually am gonna go to hell, and there really is a Satan and all the rest of it. That's a very terrifying idea, because it seems so far-fetched and outrageous, but it also affects me. You know, that means I do have a soul, and I am a sinner, and I am gonna burn forever. Like, that's scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause like you said, we think of the world as rational, and especially if you're not a superstitious person, if you don't believe in ghosts and all that, the idea that actually they are there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you have no method of defeating them, is a very scary one, like it's genuinely unsettling. Uh, so I like that kind of horror that creeps into like the occult and demons and stuff like that, because it's this idea that, and also that there are always people who are like on their side. What's occult? You wanna be like agents for these guys, like cults and stuff, it's scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's some really weird scenes in there, like towards the end of, like when they're kids, they all have sex with the girl in their group or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've been very successful with Stephen King. If I wrote a good book and released it under a different name, I wonder what would happen sort of thing. So it seems interesting. But anyway, the original Running Man book is very, very good and they made a terrible movie of it. But if they made an actual movie, the actual book, it would be genuinely really something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and he did one called The Long Walk, which as I understand it, they want to make into a movie, even though, to quite honestly with you, it's interesting as a book, but as a film?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The idea is it's a game show. And these kids turn up. They're all young.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they just have to walk as, as, for as long as they possibly can. There's no sleep.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, please don't. I'm sick of this. Too many fucking series now. Oh, it drives me mad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Perfect. That's fine. Perfect. Yeah. No fucking filler. No bollocks. None of these 24 parters. Four seasons. Oh, I should see-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought it was really fun. I mean especially like, I've read some of the comics and you couldn't make a TV show out of the comics, like they're just too, there's sex on like every fucking page, like it's just, it's too much. Uhm, but I thought the TV shit did a decent job, I thought the characters they introduced this season were really interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you noticed though, if you watch a lot of Sopranos in a row, I have found that there is a slight formula to the episodes where they obviously thought, we gotta give someone two things this week. Tony has to fuck someone who's much hotter than Tony, and Tony or one of his mates has to kill somebody. Like that's pretty much every episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, there is, there is that. I do find it funny when you notice it, they're like, no one's been beaten up or killed this week, so it's like a waiter accidentally spills their soup. Hey, you got fucking soup all over my Armani suit here. I'll give you a fucking soup! Bang! And they punch you in the face. Oh, fuck me. I love the, uh-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, my Mac, it's sort of my McDonald's chair philosophy of what I want to make comfortable, but not that comfortable that they don't want to stay all day, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a sofa bed, and you know, but they're sleeping downstairs in the lounge, so it's not necessarily like, there's not like a dedicated guest room, I used to have one, but people would just stay for too long, it's weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see it being like this European, Mediterranean, wonderful thing, right? Um, where everyone gets together and has a nice time, but I think it always just throws off my rhythm a bit. We always go to bed either a bit too early or too late and then you realize you're not, oh, I can't go downstairs and get water. And everybody's got to use the same.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In the morning, it's like, stay, get up early, they're banging around, you're like, oh, what fucking time is it? Seven o'clock? Jesus Christ. And then you get up, and you're like, oh hello, you know, in your dressing gown, uhm. I'm not mad about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do that with certain people, like certain people that I don't like, um, you know, like, I don't want to say girlfriend's family, but girlfriend's family. Right. Like, you know, it's gotta be like, it's a thing where they're just annoying and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just easier for me not to have to worry about it. And also that does ensure that they only stay a day as well. Cause if I'm, if I'm paying for a hotel, they feel like, oh, I don't want to make him pay for a hotel for more than a couple of days or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I've had a bunch of random people stay at my house when they've locked themselves out, or they've had some leak, or they've had something go wrong, or they've had an argument with their boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, or my mum's had an argument with my dad and came down one time, just like turned up and was like, I don't know, I'll get with your dad. You're going to have to put me up for a couple of days. I was like, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's very self-aware of the issues and stuff, and you just need a break.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not good. So, so this, so this week, uhm, and over the last week, I've been doing something new, right? Which is new for me. How exciting. I assume not new for the Yogscast. That is reaching out to people to ask if they will


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, I, I think you're, you're, let's look at this as an analogy, okay? I'm, I'm an attractive middle-aged man, okay? Obviously, I'm on, I'm on-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And that girlfriend said that being in, being with that guy was great. They had a great time and it worked out great for them. Okay. It wasn't like, it was never a bad problem. The guy was great. The girl did, went on to do great things. Okay. It was like, it was not a problem. Negative experience. And none of this guy's previous girlfriends, however good looking they are,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a very iconic British train. Where is this going? And what are we even talking about right now? I'm, I'm dating. I'm going out there, emailing people saying, Hey, are you interested in, in hanging out, you know, this year? Okay. For JingleJab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they are, they're broadly into like the categories of, like it was on Tinder, right? I would swipe up on everyone, because that's what I do, right? Uhm, you're a guy, you swipe up on everyone, you just see what comes back, okay? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, no, but like, for example, we can't have partners who are too...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] New and successful and things like that, because, because otherwise, it doesn't make any sense, you know, we can't really have like, like, I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 10, 50 quid games in the bundle that are like really, really good. Because then we're selling the bundle for 30 bucks and it kind of causes some problems with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, cause we'll run out of keys and they'll be sold out like in no time. We kind of have like this limited idea of what the bundle is. It's kind of, it's not really scalable. You know, we, we aim to get between like one and three million dollars, but we don't have a mechanism in place for going higher than that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I've been trying to build that for years, but we can't find the partners to do it with, really. And there's a lot of reasons for that. Anyway, it's incredibly complicated, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I then sort of re- so the people who come back to me are usually the people who understand that there's a lot of value in Jiggle Jam, right? Like, there's a lot, like this good guy here at the core, he's a good, he's a man, he'll, he'll look after you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, it's gone, it's gone, actually it's gone weird again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, the people, a lot of people understand that Jingle Jam isn't a bad thing, it's like, it's a good thing, it's positive for everyone, everyone gets great things out of it, it's good for the audience, it's good for the devs, uhm, sure they have to give keys away.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sorry, so like, I basically, and then, so there's all these people who understand, I don't want to go into too deeply, but I've talked to all these people who sort of understand that Jingle Jam's worth it, but they can't push it through within their own


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The devs are terrified of giving away all these keys, right? Um, and obviously, you know, it's not really a problem. We've never really seen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's that. And then there's the lower tier of people who are just kind of down for anything. Who are like, I can't wait to be, I can't wait to date you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you date, also can you date my 65 year old aunt? So yeaah, so, so, and it's very hard for me then to turn down all of these, uh, these ostensibly Tinder dates who are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but the thing is, like, we don't need, like, everyone. You know, I've hit up, like, a hundred people, right, Jeremy, and I've found, like, ten or fifteen who are great, so it'll be fine. And I think it'll be a good, a really good bundle this year, actually, because I'm running it for the first time, rather than...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, everyone else. Uh, so in fact, it might well be fucking amazing and way better than previous years. So that's what I'm currently. I'm currently brimming with confidence, but yesterday I was the opposite. I mean, and then tomorrow I'll probably be again, completely bipolar and miserable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were like, oh, that would be amazing. And he was like, yep, definitely we'll get it. Uh, it's all going to be sorted. And we were like, fantastic. That's so nice. Amazing. Thank you. And we did loads of stuff for them. We did loads of work. We went in, we had our hair done. We took their mum to the hospital.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we, we cleaned their house. We did loads of stuff for them, right? It's like a thank you for going on a date with us, cause that's totally how it works, right? And then, uh, they were like, oh, oh no, about that date, uh, we're going to have to pull out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I talk to someone, I can convince them that Jingle Jam's a good thing and it's in their incentive to do it, but they then have to do that to their boss. And they can usually do that, but then their boss has to then convince their boss. And that is usually when it happens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd rather have that than they just don't reply at all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hilariously though, it's a little bit like what happens where I meet these people. Or multiple times per year sometimes. Like, you know, I know these people really well. I've met them at various conventions that I go to throughout the year. You know, they definitely know who I am.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very much, uh, pop your head up from the pack and you'll get whack-a-mold back down again. You know, it's very much, people don't want to... Yea, nobody wants to... No one wants to be the target. Nobody wants to do that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People want their security and it's easier for them to just say, it's not worth the risk for me to try and make this a thing, you know, cause I think it's still, it feels like a risk for a lot of these.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like yesterday some guy replied saying like, his two and a half year old game was too new for the jingle jam. And I was like, I was like, we've got, we've had newer games than that two years ago. Do you know what I mean? Like, what are you talking about? I almost, I almost was rude. Cause I almost wrote like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I was like, I was like, just, you know what, fuck you, I don't care. Like, if you're not interested, this thing will move on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So on, I don't know if you, I read subreddit r slash data is beautiful a lot and they constantly do these, um, I don't know what they're called, but they're like sort of, they look like fat wedgie charts that splodge out. So they're like, I do my


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, nice. Uh, I did like a thousand job interviews and then it sort of goes down into like rejected and accepted and then interview and then it breaks up again into like interview one and interview two and then eventually at the end they usually have like one and it's like new job, do you know what I mean? So it's like from a thousand to one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Oh, some of them are fantastic. You know, we've got a couple of couples in the office who met on Tinder, you know, probably even three or four years ago now, and they're still going great. So no, it's like, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a bit more casual focused as well, a bit more like short term kind of, at least it gives that impression I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's not go here again. But uhm, so, so like basically Tinder is, is, is, well, so I think I probably, I don't know how many people I swiped up on. Let's say it must be a couple of thousand people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could, you could do it at like, lunch time, or, you know, like a, like a, like an evening, like it's, it's not like, it's not like, it's not, it's a low pressure thing, it doesn't take very long. What's the measure?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that it is not something that you go into blind, do you mean? You often talk to people and get to know them a bit before you meet them. And so when you do meet them, it's not awkward. Like what happened with your...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It would vary for me, like whether, you know, they would, a lot of, a lot of people I spoke to just wanted to chat for ages. Like they never, they almost like every time


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some people I would mention, you know, we should get coffee or, you know, we should exchange numbers and, and they would, that would be like it for them. That would be too scary. And they would be like, no. And then that would be after we chatted. Sometimes obviously.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes that, you know, everyone's different, right, and everyone wants something different out of it, and everyone's differently attracted to you, or feels like they have a different speed to go at, you know, and some people never want to be young.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, they just want to chat forever and be this, this sort of pen pal or like a cyber chat or, or a fantasy or because maybe, maybe they're not real. Maybe they are, but maybe they are scared. There's a hundred reasons. You can't tell through chat, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get over that and just, I mean, you just have to try and be normal, I guess, and just be friendly, uhm, but at least I think so. I don't know, I'm not playing the game though, maybe I wasn't playing the game right, because I didn't really end up


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, weirdly I think I had more success talking about Tinder and my experiences on it to other, um, women that I'd met in real life. You know, like I'd go to, I'd go to a, um, we were on holiday in I think Vancouver or somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I was chatting to these really nice people, uh, you know, chatting up, chatting up ladies. I don't know. I feel like, I feel like I got into better conversations and got further along in terms of actually someone who I might want to have a relationship with, with someone that I just met randomly in real life. Um, you had a cornerstone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You love Mafia, you love, you love like the Mafia vibe, you love those accents, you want it to be this kind of almost comedic world, almost like it's uhm, it's own, it is it's own setting, Mafia era stuff, you know, with the, uh, when the, when the, when the whiskey was Canadian.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but their gang wars and stuff are also kind of interesting and it sort of makes sense when you think about it in terms of how you can rob other criminals because they can't go to the police about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean look at fucking HSBC. HSBC is a prime example. Yea, absolutely. You know, doing illegal stuff internally, you know, because they sort it out themselves. Maybe if someone's done something dodgy, the company will help cover it up and they don't want it to bounce back on them. Of course, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the good stuff, though, you're talking about. The bad stuff is like all the ideas that, you know, you've signed these NDAs and we'll sue you or you'll go to prison. Oh yeaah, those are the worst ones, yeaah. You know, or like, you know, those ideas or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or, you know, like, uh, we'll, we'll, we'll make sure you can never get another job. And that's very hard. If, if you're, you know, if you've got family to support or if you've got any obligations to support, no one, you know, most people are being held on the thumb just by.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and they're good people too, these people. I'm sure that there's tons of good people who are willing to bend their morals to feed their family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and so, you know, I think this is it, isn't it? And a lot of the time, not everyone knows the full picture. You know, these guys have maybe seen a few, a few memos that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of that where, you know, these tobacco companies knew that nicotine was addictive and then it caused cancer and all these things for 20 or 30 years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, before they, you know, before it sort of was all, the whistle was also blown on it by a couple of people who were disgruntled ex-employees, you know, who had collected evidence over a long period of time in case they were ever fired. Um, and then risk their lives and future careers, you know, to,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think people are willing to work at Blizzard and take that. It's almost like- Some.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm just amazed that these companies like Blizzard don't feel the need to, or even the, they've got an obligation to the people who did the work. I'm not in it for the money at all.