[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's got a bunch of stupid ideas. Well anyway, I mean, let's not go into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's Australia, New Zealand, Japan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Next, next Monday, I've got an appointment to get back on the rails. Okay. Rails, next week. Well, I'm going to the dentist in the morning, so I feel like that'll be like a moment where I'm like, okay, that's gonna be the turning point, okay? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's off of our chest. We don't have to carry that anymore. If you have something you need to vet, just shout it right now. Just be like, fuck, I hate this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you got, if you got a thing you're sick of, or it's been bothering you, you've been holding it in your head, just send it to PFLAX.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we'll do, we'll do it when you're back. Yeah. We want to know about it. All right. Good therapy. We're going to help you out as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Keep moving! Keep moving! Get your ass out of that hole! Get your ass into that hole! Get on your ass! Get off your ass!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Came from deep inside. Good. Yeah. I, uhm, I went to DOTS this week. Oh, that was interesting. Did you get sorted?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had, I've been referred to like three different specials.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, that's something that comes with age. You get more intolerant of, uh, in general. It's foods that I'm intolerant of. Or maybe they're intolerant of me. Maybe they don't like me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's more context, right? Like, doing even like, a Welsh accent now doesn't feel cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's fine for now, but 10 years time, uh, uh, uh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't want to say they're like, they're recruiting new Welsh people, but I have noticed, yeah, they're like, they've got a Welsh agenda. Yeah, oh yeah. No, they literally have. And actually, you know what? I'm down for it. You know, the, the soft voice, the, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like Bristol's close enough to Wales that Daft has got his eyes on a takeover.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you know, they've got a lot of, um,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well there was a story though, this isn't true, but the story was that when we conquered Wales and executed the last king, David III, uhm, we, the king said, don't worry Wales, I will give, I will make the next Prince of Wales


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Someone who doesn't speak any English, um, and is born in Wales, right? So, he brought his wife.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That must be it. Oh well. Anyway, it's not true. But, uh, it's a nice story. You know, the idea of, uh, England screwing old Wales over again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They, they allow, oh my god, they, we thought it was lizards behind the Illuminati, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We've got a couple of Canadians, well actually no, we've got one Canadian in the office, but then we've got one fake Canadian who uses a Canadian passport to stay over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think so. I think, I think, I think I just assumed, uhm, because she was so nice like Paul, you know? I just, I just, I just, she was too nice to be an American. Sorry America. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do meet some actually. I met a couple of random American fans this week. It's weird how it comes in dribs and drabs. Sometimes I don't see anyone for a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so sometimes I don't see anyone in, in a week and then sometimes I'll see like three people in a day. I saw a nice, uh, uh, uh, uh, I was, I was walking around the harbour yesterday and, uh, a young, a young lady stopped me. Hello. And I was like, Oh, hi. But I was really sweaty, right? So I'd been like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or like, I like, I was like a, like a, like I've been paparazzi'd, you know, on a, on a jog or whatever. Yeah. Um, anyway, she was lovely. And then there was then just a minute later, I was walking to the office and, um, there was a guy from Tasmania who, who introduced himself, um, and started talking to me and I was, I was like, wow.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a, you know, I think anyone tells you they're from Tasmania. That's quite interesting, right? The only thing I know about Tasmania and this is what I told him.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is that they don't have many people there, but the government built this super fancy mega stadium and art complex and put like the like way too much money into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was this huge, huge outcry, uh, cause they were hoping to make Hobart this like cultural capital by luring people in with this, with sport and culture, but apparently it's just a waste of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of, of Australia, you know, but he was definitely an Australian. He was, he was, they were both lovely people, but I, I sort of, with one, I was, I was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I was, I was sort of like, I don't know, sometimes I'm just lucid and I'm able to talk to fans like a normal person and others I've just become the most awkward weirdo.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get this impression when I've like spoken to someone in the office and maybe like, you know, we had like a really sparkling, scintillating conversation one day and then the next time


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you gradually get, like, more and more tired, and like, like, fatigue, uh, and you have to lay down more. What's the fucking point?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, I just wish like, I wish these survival games, and also then I hate the ones where it's just night time forever. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like so often the people who sign these games do it like half half, right? They're like, oh, it's half day, half night. 12 hours day, 12 hours night.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think maybe it's again something I've established as convenience in video games, right? Like I don't like losing my fucking inventory, right? I feel like that's like pretty outdated. I feel like there's like certain, there's certain games that do that to you and it's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, you know, if you die, you can go back and collect your corpse. It's like, well, can I though? Because you've put my corpse at the bottom of this fucking dungeon, mate, and I haven't got all my shit that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Minecraft Legends, which he's been enjoying. I cannot stop hearing enough about it from everyone, but good go on Two Flags YouTube.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, uhm, just fucking slowly, you know, exciting people get in conversation and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's almost like free advertising, word of mouth and stuff, you know, and also it saves, it saves things from being bad, you know, cause if we, if the whole, all of series one of the silo would come out and all the reviews have been like, ah, series one's bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's just, I think it's just smart, right? Like it lets people catch up. It lets people digest things in a more appropriate way. It doesn't make, force people to feel like they have to, you know, like invest huge.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Look, I think there's a cynical way to look at it and there's a healthy way to look at it, right? And I think that the agencies don't care about us, they just care about money. But if it does fall on the side of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like kind of Muppet characters. And obviously the whole point of it was that it went very dark very quickly. Uhm, so it was this kind of weird uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, have you seen it? No, I haven't. Have you seen it? No, no, I haven't seen it. Don't be scared. No, no. It's, it's, it's really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's legit. Uhm, really recommend it. You'll, you'd love it Pflux. It's exactly your kind of shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Life, you know, Lost, Game of Thrones, fucking Battlestar Galactic, every show I've watched and loved has, has gone to shit eventually. You know, anything, like Lord of the Rings, the Hobbit films were shit. Star Wars, the new, the new films were shit. Do you know what I mean? Like everything-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm picking Severance as the- Okay, Severance is the best example of a TV show that I think was my favourite TV show in the last few years. I'm picking it as one which I am, even with that, I'm not excited because I'm expecting to be disappointed. Even though I know that's the one which would probably be fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great, it's a different setting. You're in a silo, you're understanding like things about the silo and they, a lot of that stuff about the silo, they gradually tell you. It's like, okay, there's levels and they're not telling you the story. There are a hundred levels, but the people in their dialogue and the way they speak, you intuit a lot of stuff from


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The extra cherry on the top of you're unfamiliar with this, the cultures of these people and what they're doing and where they are, what, what, how they think, like who they are. And so often what you tend to find is that in books, certainly the sequel will try and set their book in a very different setting in order to have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Unless if it's a fantasy book, certainly they'll go to the desert setting where everyone has a different culture and has a different way of thinking and they'll try and.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and they haven't watched season one and, and they, they don't respect that people have this baseline knowledge or interest. Like they assume that, oh, people might have watched season one 10 years ago and they're coming back to season two. So we have to do all this work and ruin the season.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Catch up all these idiots or the people who are half watching. Like so much TV, TV, classic TV is half watched, right? Like old TV is, is, is people just turn on the TV halfway through an episode of Lost and people were expected to fucking, you know, catch up. Which is why it's so repetitive and basic and done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're not, they're not. I think you can ruin your, your, the taste of, um, something, you know? Like there is that too. I think a lot of people feel like, like with Game of Thrones specifically, that was something they were hugely passionate about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just, it's just sad that it happened and that, that I'm ready for that inevitability with, with TV generally. Do you know what I mean? But yeah, I still, I still, I'm still, there's enough cool universes, enough cool things to explore, you know, and like Westworld was really great. You know, oh, cowboy robots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I watched, um, I watched Porco Rosso, uh, the other week, uh, which is an old, um, 1992, um, Miyazaki movie. You know, it's, it's one of the Miyazaki, they're all on Netflix because they, they just do so well. And it's obviously, it's,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, you know, if there was like a TV series of it, I wouldn't be interested. But it was in, it was a nice drop into an interesting universe at a time. I don't know, like it was, it felt like a passion piece too. Obviously they all do old Miyazaki's, you know, it feels like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's, he gets obsessed with these sort of periods of time and, or universes and really does a great job of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just creating this kind of, I don't know, it's a good feeling, right, to be like thrown into this time period where everyone's acting and behaving and I don't know, there's rules about what can and can't be done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I, no, I just, I just really enjoyed it. And I, I obviously, I think that's the classic thing with all these Miyazaki films, but also a lot of like good well-made Pixar movies and Disney movies, right? If you start watching them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, they're for kids, but uhm, they are really good. They're really watchable.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, they really hold your attention and uh, yeah, so I, so I really enjoyed it. Just wanted to drop that, drop that out there. Shout out to Orca Rosso.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, there's a few of them that like will make you cry, like, um, grave the fireflies and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's good to be in touch with emotions. It's good to be tearing up a bit. And I do tear up a little bit sometimes. I, I, I tell you what I did this weekend that I really enjoyed. I played, um, Twilight Imperium. Have you played Twilight Imperium?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not on Steam. Oh, I was thinking of Twilight 2000. I just searched for it. Twilight 2000 is the flagship board game. The board game. It's a mega, mega one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is possible, but it hasn't happened with us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's very well designed where you are doing a free throw, but if you attack someone, like if you attack the person to the left,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You don't really take it, you don't really attack someone unless they're weak or unless they've got something you want, but there's not often a lot of reasons to knock someone out because they don't, taking their home worlds doesn't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, okay. Well, it'll have to be a day. Um, you know, just, but this one took longer than normal. I don't know why it just happened. It was, it was... Who were the players?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who were the players? It was me, JD from the longest jobs. He was playing the lions, the peace lions. Um, I was, and then it was me, Paul was next to me, Paul Choi, and then we had Daph and Mike. So it was a good crew.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you like that kind of thing? Sure. I'll keep it in mind. Good idea. Go fishing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like we should do a portage, guys. I would, I would portage with you guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Words, words, words, words, words. I ignore all these word words. Wisconsin emails.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Wow, this is, this is great. This is like, yeah, this is like the mailbag life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think you- it's nice of you to credit them, but, you know, I don't think anyone would've known where that was from if you hadn't said.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the art of, you know, take it funny, adapting for a modern audience.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went, um, I rented a bike one day and I cycled around the coast of the island in a day, so it's not that big. It was fun though, it was really nice to do, there's a lot of really interesting little bits of quaint scenery, a lot of farmland, a lot of rich people mansions and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think people are looking for stuff that's, like, off-trip advisor, do you know what I mean? Like, what's your secret, like, recommendation for, like, a non-tourist, like, not the Jersey war caves or whatever?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I heard they were like, selling some lighthouses in America, uhm, but for real cheap, but you have to, you can't live in them, and you have to continue maintaining them. So it's like, who wants to buy, it's like having a pet, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, yeah, you can buy a lighthouse for 25 grand, but then you've signed a contract saying you have to keep it going. I feel like they're hoping that, like, local conservation groups, some old man, you know, will come along and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I could imagine meeting one of those guys. I picture in my mind's eye a lighthouse enthusiast. He's got a beard, um...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it my car? I think so. Well, with a corn cob pipe. It is called cob pipe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. It is. But you could imagine, like, someone working on a holiday camp where their whole job is to, like, dust out these dusty old, um, cabins, you know, every day.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's actually a problem because, in a sense right, like, a lot of these things can be solved just with a face mask, right? Like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, but no, but like, if you're working in a chicken coop or cleaning or like any of the other ones you mentioned, you can wear a face mask. But that one, very specifically, you need your mouth for. Yeah? So, yeah. Is it because, like, could they wear like a filter over their nose and like make sure they breathe in, like, or regulate their breathing somehow? I don't know, I mean I assume if you're working...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] These three guys are the tip of a movie made about, do you know what I mean? This is the start of a movie, isn't it then? This is like origin story for some superhero team. Everyone loves a bad boy come good at the end.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, right. Well I think they have a false idea of... I mean, a stag obviously is probably a different question, but I think people think of Bambi, they think of a deer as like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think like, you know, like looking back, like the pre-human homo species, you know, like homo erectus, I'm pretty sure they were using tools. They were using like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they were attacking en masse in a group to take down animals, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I guess maybe they weren't far out of Bangkok when they had to turn around, or else they would have gone somewhere else, right? I mean, I guess like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're doing The Apprentice, you gotta understand that you are running on a little bit of a timer, because people will get kicked out and start talking to the tabloids about it. And so, you're gonna get leaks, and so it's like, how quick do we


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then we also did, uh, another taskbox, taskmaster thing. Yeah, yeah. Task ripoff. So that's, we've got these things that we've recorded, it's just, it's time to like, takes time to, you know, get them, put them through the process. Yeah. Get them ready to go. Well yeah, I mean. So yeah, I can see how this happens. What's next, pflax?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So basically, they're not putting an engine or anything on it, they're just smacking it with a spaceship. Just crashing a spaceship into it. Such a ghetto solution, isn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what I was thinking as well. Try fitting that in your ass. Yeah, well it turns the sides I guess, doesn't it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh well, is it on Pride of Place, on a shelf somewhere? Oh no, it's in the bathroom, it's in the ground floor bathroom. Yeah, you remembered, you got it. I'm pleased.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's in the bathroom. It looks like a little gumdrop.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where am I gonna put these things though? You can just mount them on the wall or something, I don't know, wherever. Oh fudge. These were bookends, they're only like plastic shelving things.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some ruins, uh, that, that pier, that nice castle town on the, on the east coast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, Gori Castle. That is nice. That's quite nice. Picturesque, isn't it? Very, it's a very, uh, calendar shot. Yeah. And then there's a couple of shots of you, a couple of shots of you with like a pickle blocking your junk, you know? Oh yeah, yeah. Just like, sexy. The classic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I'm sure they are. Probiotic, you know, getting the guts, getting your guts out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've seen it be used in TV shows as well as, like, cover for criminals to escape from a bank robbery or something like this, you know what I mean? It's like the classic There's a Festival going on. That's a good idea, actually. And so the James Bond disappears into the crowd of people who are trooping down the street in all their costumes and stuff. That's the classic again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a very common type of like, I think so, yeaah. I dunno, like, if I'm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I believe you, sure. This is a great mailbag, as always. Yeah, no, it was a real nice one, yeah. Our audience really make this podcast a lot better, don't they? Yeah. Thanks everyone, we'll see you all, uhm, see you all next week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am writing to, no it's okay, I am writing to inquire about the current state of Sips Garden and the war against bee and snail kind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' floodgates for things about people fightin' deer here, uhm. Yeah. So this is from James. It's a hot topic. It is. Uh, so we agreed that there was no chance a man could be a deer in a fight. He then sends me a YouTube video called Barehanded Deer Catching, uhm, and this guy uses


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's move on. Here we go, next email. Uh, this is called, and I'm not quite sure what this title means, but we'll see, Triforce Mailbag Men Confidence. I thought this was spam at first, but it's not. This is from Alex from Colorado.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, we're gonna do caveman stuff again here, forgive me, but it goes to the root of who we are as a people. The first time that we, as a species, hunted the woolly mammoth, one bloke was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because then he says the kind of stuff that uses the plane invert Y steering wheel control scheme where you roll left to turn left. Air traffic control is trained to be able to help nobodies in case of emergencies, right? Especially, I'm an aerospace college student so I might even know like one thing about how planes work potentially.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you know that humans are exceptional endurance runners? This is the thing I was talking about. We can outrun nearly all animals, including deer, over long distances.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think cats in a way are the, the animal world equivalent of men who think they can fight deer. They just, they're very confident, and they're stupidly so. I mean cats will often, anyone who owns a cat, you've seen them try to make a jump that you know they can't make.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Get stuck on top of something they thought they could get down from, do all kinds of stupid shit, they're very confident and curious creatures. Just like humans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He sounds like a twat. We didn't have proper maps because the area had no official routes or trails so we only had the general direction we saw him fuck off towards to go in. We were alone for at least three hours and I honestly think we just got lucky that we eventually found the right spot. When we got there the guy was sat picking his toenails and acted like he hadn't just abandoned a group of teenagers in the middle of the Scottish Highlands. That is a fucking disgrace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yep, in answer to your question, yes. Uhm. Yes. They would. One plus one is always gonna be two. I think as long as they have, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lay out all your mathematical principles and everything and they would be the same as theirs presumably and then where do you go from there? Like you couldn't have a conversation with someone just in maths because it has to translate to something else. It would be like trying to read machine code. So you would need a language beyond it that you could understand as intelligent beings.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Truth relative to your species, like gravitational waves, for example, there's a lot of stuff, this LIGO project and a lot of stuff that's going on with gravitational waves at the moment, which is very, very interesting.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Combine numbers and use them in certain ways. But like the guy said in the email, it's a discovery not an invention. So they would discover it too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The cracking sound is monumental and everyone turns around to see what it was. The look of disgust from the girl still haunts me today.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I have a similar story, this is when I was doing my work experience, I worked in, in Richmond, not far from here, and I worked for a small company, and the first week I was there- This is you, swinging your arms around so excited to get to work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So there's like 30 people there, all in the office, and we're able to do these active, sort of run around here, climb that, we had to do the jousting with the big q-tips, all that shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's awful. Totally not cool. Yea, of course it's not cool. But these are accidents!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, uh, this is interesting. This is, uh, from, uh, cheers, some random scientist. So this is a sciency one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the title of the email is FECO Bionics.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to work- Don't worry, it's not bad. I used to work at a biomedical device incubator, and one particular project was focused on a science called fecobionics. There exists a large population of patients that experience fecal incontinence, and scientists are interested in the physical interactions between the various muscles and structures that aid in pooping and the poop itself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not, sadly it's not, it's this. That's what it was. Oh my god, it's the titan ocean gate. So it looks exactly like the ocean gate titan submarine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Most hotels don't even have a ceiling fan, but why is this the case? Surely I've heard you talk about how horrible summer is for the past five years. Climate change is going to make heatwave events more extreme. Why won't companies make a change? Why aren't your theatres in the West End equipped with aircon?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we never have. And it is only in the last few years. I mean, this is funny, I was talking to a friend of mine, this is when I was in Stockholm last week, a Suns fan, a friend of you who are Dota fans, he's from Arizona, and he said to me, you don't have any air conditioning in your house and I can't get my head around that. Because there was also terrible air conditioning in Sweden. They're in the same boat as us. It's really nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In future years, with climate change and stuff, it'll get hotter. It's true, it's more than possible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's someone round fixing one or the other. Like, all of this shit needs so much fucking maintenance. It's not just like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, this could be the tipping point. If we can genuinely, if we can crack this in time, if we can crack fusion power, we can get rid of all of this shit. I mean, it's that fucking good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I agree, what I'm saying is, if we can beat it, if we can get Fusion done, and actually crack it, it really could change everything. Oh, I'm not saying it wouldn't be an amazing breakthrough.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because we've been getting closer and closer, I reckon it could be one of those things where we actually can crack it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause it's observable, right? Like we can see that it is a thing that happens, just we need to recreate it. It's not like we've invented this idea, we just need to figure it out. How this works and how to recreate it here on Earth. It's not like some pie in the sky shit. It's not like some guy's saying he's come up with the perpetual motion machine. We're like, well, we know that doesn't work. He's actually, this is actually like a thing. Anyway. One more email? One more email for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's usually nice here in May, usually we have our summer in May here, and then the rest of the summer is not great, but not this year, it has been really bad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice, did you, were they, uhm, like goof troop shorts or did you get some, uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did you get some, uh, some Scrooge McDuck ones or DuckTales? What did you combo with, uh, like, so you had your Goof Troop shorts on, but your DuckTales undies on underneath, or like, what was the combo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Two days in Walt Disney World. Two days at the Walt Disney World Resort in Florida.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But can they do that? Well, it's not, it's not themed after, it just looks very similar, just because of the, just the location that Twin Peaks has filmed in and a lot of like the sort of buildings and stuff that they used. It fits well with what they were trying to do there sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Miami and Orlando? Those are the only three places I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, and, uh, was it, um, with the place where key lime pie is from, was it, um.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can put rubber bands around them and then they can't open their pincers, their claws. Did you ever see those at the supermarket, you know, like they used to have lobsters in the tanks? They used to just have rubber bands on their claws.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remember that jackass segment where they were dangling over a crocodile pit with chicken hanging off their undies? You remember that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then the crocodile would like reach up and eat the dangling chicken off of there. It wasn't undies, it looked like jockstraps with like big chickens dangling off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They see it as their plaything rather than sort of admiring the natural splendor of it all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was never allowed to touch the sea life when we went places or pet like the animals or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, and sea lions do too. They're always like, horsing around, aren't they, chasing boats and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, they got, they got all these fuckin' tricks, like they can, they can create a big wave to push things off of an iceberg and shit. Oh my god, I've seen it all, I love it!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's got like a porpoise's legs, a whale's cock, um, it's got, uh, a monkey's eyes and, you know, it's like a big mix of, of, of everything. All the greats. It's like a greatest hits compilation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I just say on the topic of jellyfish, because I don't know about you, Lewis, but you sent me some pictures, cause you were perusing some Chihuly while you were there, and all of his stuff


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Reminds me of jellyfish, you know, like all the big elaborate glass things. They just look like big jellyfish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he must have a studio in Florida, cause I was gonna ask you this. He creates these really big pieces and I don't know how you would transport them across the country without bits of them breaking off and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess, but like, they must weigh a ton, but also, like, how the hell would you move them? You know what I mean? God. No, exactly. You can't exactly just put them in an Amazon. Like, I'm not talking about just like a little, you know, table ornament or something. These things are like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ones we saw in Seattle, some of them were like the size of a building. Like, it's insane. It's all mangled up glass. They look nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] His entire thing is moving artworks. Yeah, but if it's a big glass thing, like, even on a container ship or something, that thing is getting smashed up. There's no way- Well, I think I know- I don't know if that's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's perfectly safe, you know, those big fucking glass things that Dale does, they ship them all over the damn place.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is very much the opposite of the, um, image of Florida that I'm sold right


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's a tabloid guy now, I think. He's not even though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's all fine and dandy, but listen to what I've done with mine. I've got a new sho- we've just renovated our downstairs bathroom and it's, and it's finished, just needs a floor. We got a new shelf in there that we could put like little like plants and stuff on, you know, just to make it look nice or whatever. I got an aura frame in there and guess what pictures I've got on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We gave 10 oreframes to 10 different dads who won't believe what happens next.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That didn't feature in our top ten all time greatest wars, uhm, did it, that, that particular...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, I've typed in War of and it's come back with War of the Worlds, the War of the Worlds, the War of the Worlds, War of the Worlds, the War of the Roses, the War of 1812.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I was glad to attend, and I was really satisfied with how it ended as well. Succession ended, and also, uh, Flax, your favourite show, Ted Lasso, ended this week as well. So glad it ended. Last episode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A little bit rushed as well. Not that it mattered much, you know, I'm not talking like, you know, I'm Game of Thrones mad at it because it was rushed or whatever, but there was a load of stuff that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Felt like it was built up over the course of the series.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very obviously they're gearing up towards something or whatever. I'm pretty sure that while we were watching it, we were like, cause you know, the final episode was kind of as you'd expect as well. Every possible character and storyline wrapped up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, in a fairly pleasing way, like a perfectly imperfect way, you know what I mean? Not everything was like 100% ideal, but everybody seemed pretty happy with their lot sort of thing and it was fine.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was nominated for 40 Primetime Emmys and it won 11.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A big takeaway for me as well is that I think the show would've just fallen flat on its ass had it not been for uh, Rebecca, the uh, the owner of Richmond. She's phenomenal. She's so fucking good, it's insane. She was great at Eurovision as well. She's such a great actress, like it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's insane, like in some scenes you just think, this is kind of throwaway TV, but she is really good, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think she was actually in Game of Thrones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think the show would have been good without him, honestly. He was such a good character, and he was played so well, like it was just, there were so many times in the show where you just, he needed to be there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can sort of, I can handle her in small doses, but when you have an episode where she's, you know, predominantly the storyline or whatever, it's a little bit grating. Like, it's not that I can't stand her, I don't mind her as such, but I can have like too much of her as well sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For all that, I think overall I liked it. I mean, you know, there's always gonna be, even shows I really like, there's always like some little comments or whatever, it's whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is in it. It's like one of his- Michael Cole or whatever. I think it's maybe one of his first kind of big roles where he plays- he's really good in it. And the rest of the cast is really good. And actually just the whole show is just really well done. It's really interesting. Worth a watch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, and The Wire as well, I don't feel like that dragged on too long. The final season of The Wire was probably for me the weakest, but it was still fine, you know? Agreed. I didn't mind it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I, uhm, can I share with you, uh, one thing quickly before we go? I installed a new graphics card recently and it took me hours. You know, like, uh, modern, like, well, cause I had to get a new power supply and everything. Cause like it had all the wrong...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Plug, so I had to unplug the old power supply from everything and then plug, put in the new power supply and plug it all into everything and it took me hours to do it. And, uh, it was one of those, you know, when you've done a lot of stuff and you just think I'm going to turn my computer on and it's going to blow up or.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's just not gonna work. You know, I'm gonna go down this rabbit hole of kneading a whole bunch of replacement bits and pieces and stuff like that, but I turn it on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you just gotta do what works, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just gotta do it. Oh I also went to go see a punk rock show in Leeds. I was gone for less than 24 hours from my house, but it was worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I left the island, yeah, by myself, I couldn't believe it. I went on a plane, I landed, I got in a car, I went to the show, I had a good time, I had a little sleep, and then boom, right back onto the plane, home. I was back, I think I was gone for 22 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] NoFX, the band with- The band with- No, yeah, with- What's her name again? NoFX.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I did not travel to see No Doubt, no. I went to go see No Effects, and uh, they're done touring, I think. They're almost 60, so they're just like, you know what, we're done touring. I think they'll still make music.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fat Mike opened up a museum in Las Vegas called the Punk Rock Museum, which is kind of interesting because you can actually get guided tours from people who are in bands, like including him. From Dale Chihuly. Yeah, you get Dale Chihuly does a day where he does guided tours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everybody there can give you a tour of the history of punk rock if you want to, if you live in Las Vegas and you want to do that sort of thing. There's other punk rock museums available, but that's, that is the most recent one I've heard of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Correcting me, but this is just what I've read. Was it good? It was good. Yeah, it was really good. It was, um, so they, they, they, they're doing this thing where I don't think they want to think about it too much, but so they'll, they just play two albums.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, you know, there's a couple of little bits and pieces in between. So the first album that they played was an album called Punk & Drublic, which is probably their most famous album. Came out in 90.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Five. I remember it from being a teenager because it was, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, the, the skate punk era and everybody loved listening to all, all of that music and skateboarding and stuff. So I remember the album coming out and I remember getting it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they played another album called Wolves and Wolves Clothing, which came out in 2006. By then I had, didn't really, I didn't follow them much or listen to them much. It's more like a nostalgic thing for me, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This band that I used to listen to is mostly as a teenager that I'd come back to time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Time to time to listen to as an adult or whatever, but uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was good. So like half of the show I knew all the songs and could sing along and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're, they're on stage. I don't know if you've ever seen them perform live or whatever, but their, their banter on stage and between songs and stuff is always pretty funny. They're just sort of this chaotic band of.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, you know, drug addicts and alcoholics and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was good, it was a good time, I went with a couple friends, it was good to see them too, it was just nice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh boy, that's gonna be fun too, I can't wait. Enjoy. I've never been to Wembley Stadium before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's seen as one of those things, isn't it, where it's more acceptable, cause there's no, I think especially for women, of course, they would always want a woman, I presume, to do this stuff, but I think there are a lot of male gynecologists out there, so women just have to put up with having a bloke do their gynecology stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I don't think it's even that. I think it's a combination of factors, but when you see someone barefoot, it says, it kind of speaks to an element of vulnerability. There's also a kind of an innocence there, and also it's just something that's hidden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's something about someone having bare feet that is like a hint of intimacy and a hint of exposure without actually going any further. I mean, how often do you see bare feet in your average day outside your house? It's not often.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great museums, it's wonderful. It's a beautiful, beautiful city and I recommend it. I can't speak to the rest of Austria but I understand that's beautiful too. But yea, big fan of Vienna and I want to see more of Austria. Then I went to Sweden for a week.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is like a sort of, uh, alt-ti, if you like. So the international, obviously, Valve and everyone runs that. This is a second...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's in my opinion the biggest patch in Dota history. I know some people have doubted that and there's been some arguments about it, but this has fundamentally changed the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's how much time I spent. In two weeks? Yeah. I barely left the hotel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause we were, we were just either working or always preparing for the next day or we were just knackered cause we'd had a long day or whatever. So it really wasn't like a holiday. And, uh, yeah, it was, it was hard. It was really hard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, I'm gonna give my- I've been following this a little bit and I remember when they were talking about the issue and I believe that it's to do with that the way streaming services operate is that they're essentially not paying the writers what they're due because they've got some deal where if they stream it for a certain amount of time,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They don't have to pay the writers and then the writers basically are making peanuts compared to what they could be.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of the things is that every time it's rerun, you get some royalties, right? And it sort of provides some money over time. So one of the reasons a lot of older shows or


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they, the stream, these streaming services would rather do the, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because when I think about the really good shows in the last 20 years in particular, there have been so many really, really good television shows. Like, geek television. Far better than what went before. You can be roast hinted about a lot of things, but you cannot be roast hinted about TV. It is so much better now than it used to ever be. It's ridiculous.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They will fuck it if they get greedy and decide not to pay writers. Because the reason it's so good is because writers are allowed to actually write good shows. People realise, people woke up to this idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You could have long form shows that were well written and complicated and the audience wasn't a bunch of fucking idiots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, it's like, that's, we've moved on, that was an adult TV show, we've moved on to stuff like The Sopranos and The Wire and Breaking Bad and all these shows that are cultural phenomena, and it's because we're, you know...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because there's definitely a lot of shows I know are very, very late. Script changes is a big thing. I mean, community is a prime example of this, that a lot of the time they'd be sort of shooting and scripts were being written while they're filming for scenes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Last minute, because while you're making, I think if you're making a TV show, obviously I'm gonna be guessing here, but this is all the stuff that you read about productions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And even though you think, oh, surely it's not like a book that they've just written it, edited it, published it. It's a living thing. So while you're working on the show, you're making changes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wonder if a lot of the strike as well is to do with solidarity. So if the writers go on strike, you can't do writing. Like this idea of this sort of unionisation of filmmaking is very important because if you have a film and people just say


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, anyone could do it. Then essentially, people outside the guild, outside the union, if you like, they will just continually get cheap labor in. There's no point specializing in an industry where your job can be replaced so easily.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why do I sound like bryant, bryant stu- the dog from- oh, stuart from fucking family guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, uh, it's amazing. It's like a cottage industry and being royals adjacent.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mom was up here while I was away. She was up here helping look after the kids and stuff. She's a mega Royals fan, right? She fucking loves them. Loved the Queen.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And she watched the whole coronation. The whole thing. The whole 12 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, it's, it's, uh, you know, it's, it's whatever. I mean, Prince Charles, uh, King Charles, sorry, is pretty old. I'm sure that he'll probably, he's, I don't think he's gonna live as long as his mum did because men tend not to. But then again, his, his dad lived a bloody long time. He did, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll do that. Is there a code or a website I can use?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I've got a question for you guys. When you order a pizza from a pizza place, and they also do like chicken wings,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People listening. I'm very suspicious of ordering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Chicken wings and chicken nuggets and all that from a pizza place, cause you know, it's just a bag of frozen shit they chuck in a deep fried like this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was away, I was away, so I missed the street party. Oddly enough, so the cabbie that picked me up at the airport, I thought this was a stupid question, you could judge whether I'm being a little mean here. Picks me up from Heathrow, I've got an enormous bag, because I've been away for so long.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the, and the fatigue, the size of my bag and the bags under my eyes, I was absolutely shattered. We pull into my street, he sees all the bunting that's hanging up, and he goes, oh, were you here for the party? Which was yesterday, the day before I got there, and I'm thinking, does he think that I stayed for the party, flew out with a giant bag, flew back that morning? Come on, mate, what a ridiculous question. I was like, no.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was just such a weird thing to suggest that I could have possibly been here for. You just picked me up from the airport, brother, come on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How about a TV show recommendation? This is on Apple TV, so if you don't have Apple TV, I apologise. It's called Silo, based on a book called Wall, and it's basically, these people live in a gigantic sort of silo. And it goes way underground, and they have different levels, and there's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Clean the dust off the camera because it gets all gummed up with, with dust. So you go out there, you clean it, and then you walk a bit and you collapse and you die.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So it's only on episode two, episode three comes out tomorrow, it's got Tim Robbins is in it, uh, Rashida Jones is in it, Rebecca Ferguson is in it, uh, if you know those names then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think it feels, um, I think it feels, uh, what's the word? Insecure. Yeah, it does, but I think you also


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd say, I'd say you were a bad mate, but after this question I'm putting you down to a two. And I'd fucking get up and storm off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not like, it's not like Wisconsin, is it? You know, where you're hard pressed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's why the whole meeting on the street thing is almost impossible, but I also think, even meeting in a pub or a bar or whatever, if you're just some guy at a bar, you're rolling the fucking dice right there. Like, you really are rolling the dice. Because he could be a lunatic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mom, for one, my mom, when my parents got divorced, she was younger, much younger than I am now. She's been single ever since.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I know this happens sometimes, that uhm, a woman will get home and immediately the bra is the first thing that comes off, do you know what I mean? Because, just, they hate it, and I'm all good with that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Meany repetitive tasks, right? You just, you don't even think what you're doing. Uhm, I think a lot of stiff stuff is on, a lot of stuff, it's surprising how much of, like, your muscle memory is autopilot stuff, right? The amount of things I automatically do, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, you're not, it's, it's, it's, I've been cleaning my teeth, I've got a water pick now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Which I got told to get after I went to the dentist last time. Because I've had like, I've had like four teeth taken out, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've not got that many. You've got that many? Holy crap. But as a result, like, I've got like, um, cause I had my wisdom teeth all taken out as well, and so, there's like some, there's a lot of space in my mouth where it's like awkward to clean. Right. Uh, I dunno why, I think when I was a kid, you know, the people who did the braces on the NHS were a little bit more reckless. Oh yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But yea, like the water pick, it's this super weird mega dangerous machine that feels like you're shooting yourself with laser beams.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Imagine, imagine like you were a guy, and you were like a, uh, you had a professional job as a bin man, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] God, yeah, it's uh, it's tough isn't it. Coal is still this thing, which I think in the UK we haven't used it for a long time. I think we- I think you'd be surprised, I bet we still do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Quite a bit actually, yeah. I think there's still a few days, well, there was a time when we went like a whole year I think in the UK without burning any coal, but it's like used as almost like a backup, I think now, rather than a main source of energy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, it's crazy really, it seems such an inefficient source of uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But bear in mind though, like, as you do get older, I guess you wank less for various reasons, right? One is that you have a wife. Two is that, you know, maybe you're not as horny as you were when you were a teenager. Do you know what I mean?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I'm nearly 40, right, but I'm still a horny guy, right? Right, okay. So I was meeting up with this person, but I was pretty sure it was a sure thing, okay? Right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The confidence of this man is just amazing. I don't know why I'm telling you this now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and so, I was like, what's going on? I didn't know whether like, I'd had like, testicular torsion or something, or I'd like, injured myself somehow. So I was like, going into my head, I was like, what's going on? Anyway, uhm, it got really bad, and I was feeling really sick, and I had like, ice on my balls. Jesus Christ. Jesus, really?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I went to the fucking, um, I went to this doctor, cause I didn't really actually go to the doctor, I put in like, cause my doctor said you can't just ring up and get an appointment, you have to put in like a triage form. Anyway, I just wrote in, uhm, in the morning at like ten o'clock, I was like, my balls hurt.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uhm, so we had a chat for a while and he felt my balls and stuff. And then, uhm, he, well, he's, is an additional thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was quite worried about my balls, I had shaved my balls, just to see if I could


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I thought it would just be mosquitoes, but yeah, like that is... Is he in Australia? Where's this? He said Mediterranean country, so no. Mediterranean? Okay, uuuh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jesus. That is gross. That is gross. Wow. Yeah, don't- it's not nice being a- get all the chemicals with the pool, and like, just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean absolutely Godzilla had- didn't he have like a nuclear breath or whatever? Uhm. Yeah, he like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He is like, he is just a big metaphor for, you know, nuclear bomb attacks kind of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. Oh shit. Oh, so he had blue balls it turns out as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think this resonates with me too, and so many other people I'm sure, because, you know, it's... I look back on school, I don't love it. We were talking about this the other day, like, would you go to a school reunion? And I was like, probably not. No, I don't wanna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think, I think at school union I'm just scared that the only people who turn up are the people who want to show off their success.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Little clique of five people who might go, do you know what I mean? Together. It fills me with dread, the idea, honestly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's too much effort to write that, it's too long, right? I'm not spending like, two minutes replying to a prompt on a fucking dating app. Sorry. However hot you are, it's not worth it. And if I do reply, okay, this is Mind Games, it shows I'm too interested, because I've put like two or three minutes into your profile, like, to answer this question in a really deep way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, but that's it, all I'm saying is that guy, if he just commented on something else, and spent, you know, two seconds on it, he wouldn't have wasted his time, wasted her time, wasted OUR time!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Everything else works. You might match on the pictures just fine, and then, you know, that's how the apps work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I think there's no chance to really even know that stuff, right, until you...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't mind chatting to people, I'm not, it's not like I'm not, I'm not like a weirdo, do you know what I mean? I wanna get an idea that there's actually some sort of connection, but at the same time, like, I don't wanna just fucking waste my time. I've got better things to do than fucking sit on my fucking phone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're killing it on the mailbags. Breaking the podcast needs to take a fucking lesson. Take a note. Right, thanks everyone, we love you, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, because it's my, my youngest, uh, her leaver's day assembly was today, so she's leaving primary school. And it was all the kids and all the parents that I've known, some of them known for like 10 years. Yes. Uhm, and, uh, they were, they all sang a bunch of songs, they all just stand up and say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A memory, their favorite memory from school and everything like that and it was, uh, I was crying two seconds into the assembly and I didn't stop. Did they get certificates? No, they got a book and they get a yearbook, a yearbook is coming out as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, it was, it was, it was like the end of an era because obviously my eldest went to the school as well. So I've just been, I've been taking my kids to that school. We've, we've really good friends with a lot of the parents there now and I've seen their kids grow up from like reception.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like now they're like 14. That's my eldest year group. So we know a lot of those parents and we just, we've all sort of gone from our 30s into our 40s together.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was very emotional and the kids were crying, so I started crying even more when I saw that. It was just, it was, I was a mess. Luckily there were a couple of mums in front that we know that were passing me tissues because they started crying as well. Once their kids started crying, then they started crying. But I was just, I was just crying from the get go. It's very sad. It's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's been a huge part of my life, and now, you know, it's over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, uh, so let's get to it. Some really, really, uh, very mixed bag this week. Uhm, some very, some, alright, listen, listen, I'm gonna be critical of some of the email inners.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I assume you're typing these on your phone, so it does make them very hard to read when it's just a block of text.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let's, let's work on some punctuation here, people, and some, some basic composition. I want sentences, I would like some punctuation, because I can't read it when your email is literally non-stop text with no breaks and no punctuation. It ain't getting read out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so uhm, we've had a lot of very detailed emails in. One of them, I'm gonna read this one simply because this is indicative of a lot of the very detailed emails I get, and I want you to


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not gonna say what they do. Is it? Yeah. This is some context, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] However, Sainsbury's had no intention of keeping Argos in the state that it was, uh, with its rundown high street stores. It was more interested in Argos' proprietary technology. Argos is in the top 10 most visited e-commerce websites in the country.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Since the acquisition and over the years, almost all of Sainsbury's e-commerce operations have been migrated and run into the Argos backend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'll google something first. Okay, nope. It's in the press already. So, exposed himself in a bar. Uh, this was all caught on a CCTV camera. So there you go.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, thank you. Well, this is from, this is from Jesse. Now, this is Jesse, he's from Australia, uh, and he sent us a list of things that irritate him and he'd like to see if we have any thoughts on them. Now, I'm gonna tell you, I've read ahead on this list and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've cherry picked, these are a few. Number one, Wonderbread, Wonderbread Trucks. And they're advertising. I don't know what Wonderbread is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't understand what he hates about this. He sent me a picture of a truck that just says Wonderbread on it. I don't understand. Uh, people who use boiling water in Weetabix instead of milk. I don't think anybody does that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've never heard of that. Co-workers wishing you a happy birthday just to be included, not because they care. What do you want from them?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well now, this one is weird. Lettuce leaves. Shredded is fine. So he just doesn't like lettuce leaves, but he doesn't mind them shredded. Uh, and number six, pharmacists pretending they know better than your doctor. That's a, that's a, I have a big issue with that last one. Your pharmacist probably does know more about the drugs that they are giving you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because they are specialized in pharmacy, and doctors are not. Especially your GP, they have to know a much broader scope of medicine. A pharmacist just knows pharmacy, and probably does know a little better than your doctor about drugs. Sorry Jesse, but I don't think I've disagreed with an email that we've received at Triforce more than I have this one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is very, very cool. You're very lucky. I wish I had that. My sister is the same. She has 20-20 vision and has never needed anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He works on cameras that they put on these planes that fly at about 10,000 feet over areas where wildfires are common and they try to spot the flare up as quickly as they can so they can ping the GPS coordinates to the fire brigade and get out there and put it out before it becomes a big deal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a major fire that came up in California, and an operator began the night shift in order to start mapping the fire and coordinate with firefighters on the ground to get a handle on it. As I mentioned about the flare-ups, one of the operators spotted one a few miles away from the main fire. They pinged the location to the firefighters on the ground.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sure. Here's a question from Ben, not that one, a different one. Can you please discuss the topic of NIMBYism, housing shortage, and your take on how we tackle the issues relating to housing in the UK? I work in construction, so I wanna see both sides of this argument. NIMBYism is not.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so there are a few problems here. First of all, what we don't want, and I mean this, is for the government to step in and say,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't worry, we're gonna have a scheme where we encourage the banks to lend people, uh, with, you know, much easier to get a mortgage, zero money down, uh, fixed interest for three years and then it jumps up. All this stuff. We don't want that. That's what happened in 2008.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Prior to that huge property bubble, people buying two, three, four houses and then it all went to shit. We do not want that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, where do you put it? I know I, I, I listened to a talk, I think about it on Radio 4 about this a while back, and they were talking about Greenbelt land, which has been


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People's vision of what greenbelt land is, and what a lot of it actually is, are not necessarily mired in reality, shall we say. Quite a lot of areas that are designated greenbelt are anything but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Green, luscious areas with all wildlife and rivers and gentle brooks and deer. It's just scrubland that nobody's using. It's like wasteland. Quite a lot of those areas are called greenbelt. So just have a look into what counts as greenbelt land.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they were all built in a very short space of time, uh, about 19- between 1902, 1903 and about 1906, 1907.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thousands of houses to support railway workers and working class people in London. These were working class homes. Now they're like middle class homes and they're worth a lot more because it's tweaking them and the area's improved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're just buying this, they're building a lot, I mean, this is a big thing. Do you remember we talked about, uhm,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So uhm, I watched, my, my youngest was very intrigued by that, there's a lot of videos, there's one, I can't remember the name of it, someone, someone will know, very famous one. The reason that they built these, it turns out, this is from a, a video I watched revealing why these ghost cities existed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's because when you buy land in China, you're buying it not from individuals, but you're buying it from like the local council essentially, right? And that council's like, if you're going to buy this land, you can't just sit on it and wait for it to go up in value. You have to use it because this is the people's land. So they build these huge cities on the land.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If we ca- if you can telecommute, and if more companies did it, you know what it would revitalize? Cause everybody would wanna live in these places. The rundown seaside towns of this nation. And that's- it made me think of this, cause I had an email from a guy from Clacton on Sea, cause he said-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you wanna know what this is like, there's a film called Nomad. Nomadville, I think? Uhm, I'll look this up. It came out last year or the year before. Uhm, maybe it's not Nomadville.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yea, that's what this film is about. It's, it's a beautiful, beautiful film. It's got Frances McDormand in and she lives in a van and that is her whole life is in this van and she goes where the work is. So she drives around and goes to where the work is. It's exceptionally good film. That is what this living would be like. Such a romantic.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've had a number of emails, uh, from women this week, uh, relating to something that you mentioned on a recent episode. Can you think what it is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Love the podcast, been a silent listener for years, but breaking that silence to respond to Lewis. In answer to his question about going braless, we're aware and we don't care.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, there were, there were several others about bras as well. I just thought it's interesting that as soon as I started reading email from women, Lewis was like, yeah, I'll tell them what they already said. Listen, just listen. Are you happy now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try, try, try, there's one called Minj, which is apparently just a sex app.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is a, this is an interesting one. This is from someone, uh, called HP. They are the house parent at an international boarding school. Right. Uh, I basically have to live on the school site, look after the kids, run trips and activities, et cetera.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, if you don't have to do anything, and you've got servants or whatever, then it's their problem, not yours. You know, who knows what these kids' family lives are like. That is so fucked up, man. I mean, putting your kid in a boarding school in the first place, I am totally against it. We had to speak to one kid from Hong Kong about not masturbating while his roommate was in the room.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And when they told him he shouldn't be eating them, he didn't understand English so they just left him to it. That sounds absolutely horrendous. Those suet balls.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I like this line, anesthesia is the most life improving invention in the history of modern medicine. In terms of your quality of life undergoing surgery, I think that's inarguable. I think that's absolutely


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, this is from Sean. He's a high school science teacher from Ohio.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and they went to a grocery store over there and bought some British foods. This is what they tried. Now, first of all, I would say these are not foods that I would say are the creme de la creme.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They are, but here's the thing, get some BBQ sauce and add it at the end. I've used Salt Lick Texan BBQ sauce, add that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why have we not read that? That sounds great. Maybe next time. Let's save it for next time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because otherwise it's uncomfortable. Uhm, so it's, it's up to you, uh, really what, what you want to do. And then they, uh, went on a trip naked in a cave. You get down to a cave with a big group of other people. You wear a robe at the start and then you whip it off and you walk around in the cave naked. I don't know why. Well, because it's dark.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cold in caves, isn't it? It is cold. It is cold. Also, this is one I want to save for next week. This is the list of unusual deaths on Wikipedia. Uhm, I will give you a taster. Oh, yeaah, this is a great article. This is really good. Here's one. Uhm, Martin of Aragon died from a combination of indigestion and uncontrollable laughter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to a tradition, Martin, this is Martin of Aragon, was suffering from indigestion on account of eating an entire goose when his favourite jester, Bora,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And can you d- can you decorate your camp? No. Oh, like, I think you can, you can put boxes around and stuff, can't you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I was that fashionable, Sips, they wouldn't have got wet in the first place, do you know what I mean? If I was wearing proper boots and suspenders and like, I don't know, leathers or whatever. Yeah, galoshes. You had your galoshes on, yeah. I would be fine, but, I'm never, I'm never... You're not prepared. I'm not a dad like you guys. Have you got your winter outfits? Have you got like, boots and stuff to walk around in? Wellies?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have gardening clothes as well? Gardening boots? I don't have gardening boots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Even looking at these Dark Martins, I'm sort of, I feel like they wouldn't fit comfortably, or I wouldn't know how to walk around in them, or they'd be like, I dunno, like, I just, I'm not scared, but I'm-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's not why I see you as a Czech shirt man. Yeah, I see you more as a Czech shirt man as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's just an option though, so it's just putting it out there. Just if you want, yeah, if you feel like that's your path. Yeah, you've got a lot of, you've got a lot of choice, you know, and I think-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, I just feel like I haven't, I'm like between styles right now. Because I wore this suit, because we went to this uhm...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was really nice. It was really nice. Obviously, I always say this, but if you hang out with charity people, they're rarely cunts, I find.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But not that I've found. I bet you if you looked really hard you'd find them. Maybe. I think I did speak to a few people who were like, you'd be surprised, you know, how many actual arseholes there are in this sort of industry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're all fascinating people to talk to, and we went to this big dinner at, um, Bristol Art Museum and it was sort of a charity dinner, so you had to pay a table and then get to buy some raffle tickets, ten pounds each, you know, and then we had to pay on the- it was like a pub quiz, but we also had to pay to get the joker, to get the double points round.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well, you know, it's a pay to win pub quiz, isn't it, when you have to buy the joke for charity. So, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I of course don't mind, but uhm, the pub quiz, we, we were, we, we absolutely killed it at the pub quiz, uhm, we destroyed it, we, we, because the whole point of it was to beat the brain surgeons, there were some brain surgeons from Bristol Children's Hospital, and we were supposed to get a higher score than


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was, so, there was a picture round, obviously, of Bristol, famous Bristolians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was he on the list? Uh, he, was he, that might have been his name, no he wasn't on the list. A few people were though that I recognised, like Dave, Dave Prowse, and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, there was a round where you had to build a grommet out of plasticine, which we had done on Jingle Jam.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, so ARPAN are the big sponsor of the, what it's called, um, Grand Appeal, it's called. Oh my god. It's just a Bristol...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Good night, like, it was a good quiz, it was a good night, we won the raffle, well...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lydia won the first prize of the raffle, but by the time she got to the front.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, the next few people had been called, so she didn't get her first pick of the- of the prizes, but she got like a nice prize. That is a disgrace. That is a disgrace. That's a disgrace, I know, but it's all for charity, so he didn't really mind, and she got the prize that she wanted anyway. We- we won the pub- the pub- we won the quiz as well. Nice. Which was kind of embarrassing. Did you get up on a table and-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, obviously every table was split into two teams of five, and the team on the other side of us came first and we came second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a little bit of, like, sharing of, uh, answers, I think. We didn't think we'd done all that well, and I think we just, I think we got unlucky on The Joker and the, I think Mike and Ravs and some of the other guys on the other team just knew fucking answers. Mike and Lydia were like, she was like, I love a quiz, me and Mike literally do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so yeaah, there was like a music round as well, which we totally nailed, and uhm, yeaah, it was a really good time, really really nice, just really chill, and Bristol Art Museum, if you've never been, it's like free, it's like a regular museum as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would never step foot near an establishment such as that. It's a nice place to walk around, it's a little bit like one of these old... I think Bristol Museum and Art Gallery's a little bit like Bristol Zoo used to be, i.e. it's tried to modernize. Is it closed now, Bristol Zoo? It is closed now. FORGET!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a nice little city zoo, but I think its history was a little bit... I think they need more space too, for what they're trying to do. Like all zoos, right? Like, zoos these days, I don't know if you guys feel the same way, but certainly, I think there's this real push for conservation, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Giving enough space for the animals, and not cruelty, and cost, right? Cause caring for these animals properly, especially an animal that's fucking designed to live in Africa, do you know what I mean, in sunshine all the time, you know, and we're moving it to the fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They've sort of moved the zoo out into the country a bit, it's called, there's a new sort of place that's taken over called the Wild Place. Which I've not been to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think they've done a pretty good job. So I think the zoo was fine, but I mean, it was a bit of a relic. It needed updating and a lot of people have tried and it changed a lot over the years. And the same with Bristol Art Museum and Gallery, but it's kind of still a little bit like one of these British museums where it's a little bit,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, look at this random eclectic collection of stuff from other people's countries. Yeah. Yeah, that we've managed to accumulate over the years. And there's a lot of taxidermied animals. Yes. Which I'm generally a little bit, like, uncomfortable with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, yeah, like, from my end, like, you go to the, you go to this place, and there's literally a taxi, you don't need everything, um, you know, there's a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Here's something I like, right? Misses their paths. Wait, hang on a second. Let me just pause for a second. You, would you, are you saying you prefer that animal to be like hard to see? You like, you prefer it to be in a zoo where it's like hidden under a rock?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Versus a taxidermied one where, you know, you can see it up close, it's right there, you know, you prefer it to be like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Taxidermy works well if you're a quirky kind of person who wears, like, frilly, lacy, y'know, a dress, y'know, and a Victorian-era sort of veil, y'know, and you've got this house full of, like, little tables and little stands and little framed thimbles and things, weird quirky stuff, and then you have, like, taxidermy stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, I think you could. Don't see many goth girls in my age range, god be said, in thirties. No, that's true. Very few, I don't think I've even seen like one. You're just not looking hard enough. No, well, it's not a question of looking hard enough, Sips. There's like, there's like hundreds of women on these apps, like, you know, you swipe, you know. Yeah, but hold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but I guess what I was saying is that things that are cool influence general culture and general look and general style, right? And this is why we get the mullet coming back, right? For whatever fucking reason, everyone's got a moustache and a mullet now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not exclusionary, it's a celebration. The viking look is very in. Very metal, very metal. A lot of people, a lot of people I've seen, uh, looking for a viking, with tattoos and the big beard, you know, that's like a big, I think that, I dunno, there's a few obviously celebrities who've popularised that look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're for opposing ends of the globe. Can you imagine the alternate reality? Where would even be the Vikings? The Australians would be the Vikings. Would they be? No, they wouldn't be raided. They'd be raiding down through, uhm, all the islands.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is. It's like talking about, uhm, we saw a bit of this when we were in New Zealand, you know, and then sort of the Māori arriving on New Zealand and their story and sort of, you know, just the constant wars they would have between groups of them, even in New Zealand, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and so in a sense like, yeaah, it was awful that the west invaded and kind of took over and colonised their, their islands. But in a sense it also stopped them fighting amongst themselves quite so much. That could be wrong. Uhm, please take that with a pinch of salt. I'm not an expert on the history of this.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So they had a load of other stuff at the Bristol Museum, they have, like, rocks, or minerals, I suppose, as we now are supposed to call them, from Breaking Bad. Which is nice, I like, I love looking at rocks from various different strata. There's a whole bunch of, like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Apparently, this is something I read the other day, uhm, it was just like, don't be, don't be ashamed of your, uhm, of your, the things you're interested in. Like, obviously,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can, you know, I went into Uniqlo when I was in, uhm, I talked to someone about this this morning, I went to Uniqlo when I was in America, and I think they have one in London as well, a couple, but they, uhm, they have this checkout where you just place all of your stuff you want to buy in a bin, and it scans it all automatically, it like, every piece of clothing has a little


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some, y'know, titanium containing geode or whatever? Fucking, good for you. Like, I'm a big fan of that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was it, what was it Sophie said? I might have told you this before, but she said this phrase, which is don't yuck on my yum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, sure, so uhm, yeah, like, the art gallery's got loads of random- it's got loads of Chinese bowls, whatever, which I've no idea of the value of these things in any way shape or form.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A modern reproduction, I've got no idea what I'm looking at with half of this stuff. And so sometimes I'm walking around these places and I'm like, I am, I could not be less interested in this whole section of the museum.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's interesting how we have such- I was wondering if other countries have this as well, like, you know, in Japan, do they have an area that is like Wales or like Scotland, or do any other countries have like these little kind of sub- I think in some Spain, northern Spain, I think they have, like Catalonia, I think that's quite its own thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I know in China I guess they have different languages, well they have Cantonese and Mandarin for different areas too, so I guess it must be more prevalent than you realise. It's not just an English, not British sort of weird thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's definitely more pronounced than the counties that we have, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So me and, um, so me and, me and, Ben and, uh, we, we had a friend come down last week, Chris Peach, and, um, we did a sharp episode. Do you call him the Peach? We call him Peachy, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get on really well with him, he's a fellow... I've got to love Peachy. ...Baldian. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. You, you, you love him. So he came down with all of these Napoleonic era stuff he painted, and...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Olivia Colman used to be in everything, didn't she? She was a prolific, like, telly star before she got big in movies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh my god, I tell you what I've been doing, I've been doing Jiggle Jam Reachout, right, which is insane. The amount of effort is, and the stress, it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're so demanding, or they like, they want this and this and this, and they're like, ugh, and they keep going back and forth, or they just ask these awfully dumb questions, or they're just rude. Uhm, it's weird, but you just see so many games as well that I've never played.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've added like a hundred games to my wishlist over the last two weeks, just looking at games on Steam. So I'm properly getting excited about games again. So the last few months have kind of been like, ugh, games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think, I think, you used the word drinking as in, in the literal meaning, but I think a lot of people use that as going to the pub. Not everyone, well, okay, 90% of people are drinking at the pub, but you don't have to drink. You can have coke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of people go there after din- after work, drinks, it's so- it's a social thing, right, for a lot of people just to unwind.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That'll just be one. If your hunger bar is going down and it's late at night, don't go to any of the kebab shops.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cool, right? And on the other hand, uhm, the busybody to organise it and, and flipping, you know, send the angry emails around to tidy up your garden or...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, or, or, you can't have your things painted the right color, the wrong colors, you know. Ugh. It's the classic two pronged...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] English thing, right? You have to fit in, but also, uhm, there's always gonna be a local Hitler who's gonna fuckin' be sending you angry emails and bothering you and, you know, about the most trivial shit that you don't care about. Yeah, yeah. It's, it's, it's traditional. It's the way it is. Get used to it. Well, there you go, I think that's enough. That's enough for podcasts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As someone who never gets served a bar, because I apparently can't catch the eye of the people, or I'm not aggressive enough, I am all for queuing, let's be honest. You don't have a problem because you're gigantic, PFLAX. You lean over, you hunch over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I've been to the bar and I've been, I've been there for 10 minutes and watching people get served left or right of me and I've said like, hey, I've even like, and that's me being more, you know, after a few drinks, you know, actually being, not even not shirty, but like, almost like being


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Ugh, like, tisking or like rolling my eyes when someone gets served next to me when it was clearly my turn. Uh, but man, like, I hate it. Bring on the queues.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I spoke to a parking tenant the other day, and she told me that she gets a bonus for each ticket she gives. Yeah, that's crazy. So that's why she hangs around, waiting for the car to- does she know he's gonna expire in like two minutes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would they stick it on? Because she gave a ticket to my cleaner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just segue around everywhere and try to find these culprits. I read this thing where in America if someone's parked up on the pavement or something, you can


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, please can I have a ticket to the mail bag?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was, I was hoping for a laugh and a fun time. Wait, yours already!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What were you hoping for, Zoddy? Uh, I was hoping for a laugh and a fun time, and that the conversation would flow nicely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, oh, she's attractive, smart, easy to talk to. And what did you talk about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like all the time. I was making my son laugh, which is always a great thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, uh, doing like the fucking red shirt guy asking the questions voice and everything, and uh, but sure enough every time I would make a joke about it, it would be word for word, like they'd come out and say the same shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello everyone, welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Today coming at you from, uh, Sweden with Pyrrhon Flax. I'm not in Sweden. Hey hey!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes. Old people chat. Uh, this is what happens now to us. We don't understand technology. Perion's got a crappy microphone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I felt like the oldest man at the weekend. I went to this Bristol Simple Things festival, okay, it's basically kind of...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Kinda like a inner city festival, where they've got, like, three theatre venues, and some- like, at SWX, where we went and saw Ghostface Killer Sibs. Oh yeah. Um, that venue, and then there's a bunch of other little tiny venues as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Some of them I guess had come down from further, uhm, on, and they were all, I'd never heard of any of them, of course, because I think modern music, there's so much, so many


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't like any of them. I'm sorry. I even made like a little challenge for myself where I was like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, but I found myself leaving, like, waiting for that 20 minute mark so often. And I don't know, some of the experiences were hard because they were packed full of people, and you're like shoulder to shoulder with people, other places are like, you can't even get in the door kind of thing, and you're like in a queue for an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, other places there's like, just lots of people making like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't like mosh pits and lots of people being physically active and stuff. I mean, it's obviously always like that, a gig that someone will shove past you and you'll get an elbow in the ribs occasionally.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it dance music? Was it, was it indie music? Was it, was it like pop music? What, what kind of music?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so the first act I saw was like, um, one woman DJ playing like electronic music, like kind of trancey music, but without any kind of actual melody. Like, if it was like 90s trance, like Ibiza trance, I'm sure I would've actually liked it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the most, the main reason she was there was she had this incredibly fancy light show going on, and it was like a firework display, but like, if I had epilepsy, I would've lasted like fifteen seconds in there. Do you know what I mean? It was that bad. I was like, and this was at 1pm, I was watching this, do you know what I mean? It was like, I'm not ready for like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For some people it definitely is, and a lot of these bands had a big following, had a lot of people there, and were clearly very good at what they did, but I wasn't, like, wine, I'm not a wine expert, I'm also not a whatever their type of music is expert, as a result, like, I have no fucking idea what the hell was going on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well okay, I saw this band, it was like a, a, obviously really talented drummer, really talented guitarist.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, no, I mean, I'm not, it's not like I, it's just I felt like I was, I just felt like I didn't understand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think again, like, and also everyone, all these music artists are trying to be original, right, they're trying to create something their own, right, they can't just be a rip off of someone else or copy someone else's style, so as a result they're kind of experimenting with something a bit modern and new, and some elements of modern music I'm not a fan of, um, just from old. There's this thing that, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's often the other way around, isn't it? Like, like, you hear people, you hear music, and then you go and see the people live, and you're like, wow, this is not why...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whatever their name is, uhm, their book about the exclusion zone and roadside picnic. Which basically is like, the whole thing is like the stalker. And that's where, obviously Chernobyl happened after they'd written this book, but the whole book was about what if


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aliens just popped by Earth and, y'know, had a picnic and left again, but all of their stuff, their yoghurt pots, their cigarette butts, were like the animals that come out of the forest, and they're poisonous to us, right? Or they kill us, or they're like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With weird anomalies, alien shit, it's all walled off, and a little bit like SCP style, you-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's an old 1983 station wagon that's all beat up, but it's kind of enchanted, right? It's like, it's magical. And you can upgrade it, too. And well, the whole game is like, these remnants, people get obsessed with them. And you get obsessed with your car. Because that's the whole game. The whole game is...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Upgrading your car, like polishing it, cleaning it, fixing it up, like changing the wheels, upgrading the stuff, bring, like, the game is driving out into this exclusion zone, trying to dodge these weird anomalies, collecting shit and bringing it back, but it's such a, such a pure game. It's like, obviously it's, it's, it's, it's...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's, it's, what gaming has become these days, it's the evolution of music and all that.