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[Assistant] All told, nearly 400 people have claimed to have been attacked by something otherworldly around the tomb. Almost 200 of those are people who have actually passed out during a ghost tour. Sometimes, every person in the tour will feel the exact same thing. Oftentimes, complete strangers will independently report the same experience.


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[Assistant] But the odd experiences extend beyond the tours. An unusually high number of dead animals have been found in the area around Mackenzie's tomb. Unexplainable fires have broken out in nearby buildings, people have reported cold spots, and the usual photographic and electronic malfunctions have occurred as well.


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[Assistant] Some have gone looking for an explanation for such a large number of unusual reports, but the theories are as varied as the types of attacks.


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[Assistant] One theory even tries to connect the unlikely dots between the nearby Edinburgh University's artificial intelligence units, which uses high voltage machinery and the sandstone deep underground beneath the ancient cemetery. The porous stone, they say, absorbs the energy and releases it later, causing the odd experiences.


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[Assistant] But this is a difficult theory to swallow, especially for the people who have been physically assaulted by whatever it is that haunts the tomb. And the company that conducts the tours through the graveyard is just as interested in finding the cause. And that's why they've spent years collecting photographs of injuries, first-hand accounts,


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[Assistant] Letters from witnesses and other documentation.


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[Assistant] Unfortunately, most of those records were destroyed in 2003 when a fire swept through their office. Everything inside the tour company's space was incinerated, but nothing more.


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[Assistant] Every single building nearby remained untouched. The insurance company never found the cause.


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[Assistant] Outside of places with frequent earthquake activity, most people don't think it's normal for photographs to fall off their wall, or for a chair to slide across the floor, or to be knocked down by an unseen force. For some, those events are equal parts unusual and inconvenient. For others, though, they are terrifying.


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[Assistant] It's difficult to say what's really going on in these stories. Some events can be chalked up to natural causes, or the human tendency to misinterpret the things we see.


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[Assistant] We are very good at finding patterns, after all. It's called periodolia, the moment when we see a pattern where it really doesn't exist. We do this when we look up at clouds and see the shape of a turtle, but it also happens subconsciously. Our minds are always searching for patterns.


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[Assistant] Or perhaps there's something more to the stories. What if there really are sinister, violent spirits that can attack us if provoked? In many stories, priests are brought in to bless the homes or perform exorcisms, a solution that certainly assumed there's a supernatural source. And sometimes, it's actually worked.


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[Assistant] In the years since the break-in at the Black Mausoleum, there have been two attempts at exorcism. The second of those took place in the year 2000, just a year after the activity began.


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[Assistant] Colin Grant, minister of a spiritualist church and professional exorcist, was brought into Greyfriar Cemetery. While standing in front of the Black Mausoleum, he performed his ceremony.


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[Assistant] While doing so, he claimed to feel overwhelmed by the sensation of oppression, that hundreds of tormented souls were swirling around him, trying to break through into our world. He said he had feared for his life, and quickly left before he could finish. Just a few weeks later, Holland Grant was found dead. Victim, they say, of a sudden heart attack.


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[Assistant] There seems to be no shortage of unusual stories rooted in the local graveyard. And if you stick around through this brief sponsor break, I'll share one more with you that's guaranteed to give your spirit a lift.


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[Assistant] Old North Church in Boston has been there since 1723. In fact, for a very long while, it was the tallest building in the city, standing at nearly 200 feet.


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[Assistant] Sure, today it's little more than a small tree inside the modern urban forest of Boston's skyline, but in its heyday, it was the pinnacle of Boston.


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[Assistant] Which explains why Paul Revere sent two men with lanterns into the steeple in April of 1775.


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[Assistant] They used the unmatched height of the church tower to look out for the approach of British forces, and then alerted the rebels to the nature of that approach, one if by land, two if by sea. It's a quote almost every American knows by heart, and it started in the Old North Church.


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[Assistant] Another historic event took place there in 1757 though, 18 years before the redcoats were coming across the Charles. There's a plaque for it in the garden behind the church, but I'll be honest, it's a little hard to believe. So I'll just read it to you and let you decide for yourself.


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[Assistant] Here on September 13, 1757, John Childs, who had given public notice of his intention to fly from the steeple of Dr. Cutler's church, performed it to the satisfaction of a great number of spectators.


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[Assistant] Mr. Childs came to Boston from London. He claimed to have flown many times there from a number of very tall buildings.


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[Assistant] Once he even flew off a 200 foot tall monument, not only could he fly, he was saying, but he was good at it. Now he was going to do it in Boston, and what better place for his flight to take place than from the top of the Old North Church.


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[Assistant] To draw a crowd, he posted a notice in the Boston Gazette. He named the date of his flight, September 13th of 1757, and promised, and I quote, full satisfaction.


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[Assistant] If I had to guess, the fact that the plaque is still on the building 250 years later is a powerful testament to just how satisfied everyone was.


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[Assistant] But before you go jumping to conclusions, no pun intended, I swear, let me put a few doubts to rest.


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[Assistant] No, this wasn't a rumor that became a local legend. This was a real event that was documented by real people. And no, John Childs did not possess some sort of primitive glider or da Vinci style human wings made out of wood and sail cloth. However, amazing that would have been. In fact, there was nothing aeronautical about his flight at all.


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[Assistant] It turns out what John Childs did was import an urban pastime from London into America. The best way to see it would be to jump on Google and search for an engraving called Southwark Fair by William Hogarth. But let me see if I can paint you my own picture.


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[Assistant] Childs tied a rope to the top of Old North Church, and then the other end to a building 700 feet away and farther below.


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[Assistant] He then took a board with a slot carved down the center, placed it on top of the rope, and laid himself down upon it. Yes, Child's literally body surfed down a rope, his arms spread out like a bird, until his descent was broken by a pile of feather beds at the bottom.


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[Assistant] And that's it. There's nothing spooky about John Child's tale, I'm sad to say. No ghosts that fly over the church late at night or otherworldly feathers that might be found on the ground by tourists. There are no screaming crowds that echo to this day through the narrow streets around the church.


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[Assistant] It would be a lot more poetic if there were, but this is all we get. A man, on a board, falling slowly into a pile of pillows. But here's what I want you to remember.


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[Assistant] It took the story of John Child's a little less than 170 years to make its way onto a memorial plaque in the church garden. Less than two centuries is a blink of the eye when you take in the whole scope of written history.


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[Assistant] And yet over those 200 years, his story went from an acrobatic circus act to a legend about a flying man.


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[Assistant] History contains an untold number of legends, and many of them paint a picture for us that are impossible to ignore.


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[Assistant] But just because a story exists doesn't mean the details are entirely true. Sometimes you have to dig deep, look elsewhere, and pull the disparate pieces together.


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[Assistant] This episode of Lore was researched, written, and produced by me, Aaron Manke, with music by Chad Lawson. Lore is much more than just a podcast. There's a book series available in bookstores and online, and two seasons of the television show on Amazon Prime Video. Check them both out if you want more Lore in your life.


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[Assistant] I also make and executive produce a whole bunch of other podcasts, all of which I think you'd enjoy. My production company, Grim and Mild, specializes in shows that sit at the intersection of the dark and the historical.


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[Assistant] You can learn more about all of our shows and everything else going on over in one central place. GrimAndMild.com


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[Assistant] And you can also follow this show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Just search for Lore Podcast, all one word, and then click that follow button. And when you do, say hi. I like it when people say hi. And as always, thanks for listening.


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[Assistant] In the recent episode on here, All That Glitters, we discussed the darker side of Hollywood, from legends of the dead to folklore about curses and crimes. But there are so many other Hollywood stories left to tell, and I've saved another of my favorites for today. So if you're ready, let's get to it.


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[Assistant] It might not be perfect, but it's pretty close. And I think you clearly understand my point. Cursing a child with that sort of baggage will only come back to bite you.


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[Assistant] Rodolfo, however, agreed with his family and left Italy at the age of 18 in search of new opportunities. He arrived in New York City in 1913 and settled into that age-old hustle of trying to find work that paid well, but also satisfied him.


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[Assistant] He waited tables, he washed cars, and even tried his hands at gardening. But within a couple of years, he was working under the name Rodolfo Gullemi at a weird job called taxi dancing.


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[Assistant] For the next couple of years, he took on bit parts in a variety of films. But under a different name, one that wasn't connected to a New York City murder,


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[Assistant] Thankfully, he had a few family names to pick from, and he settled on one that would become a Hollywood legend. Rudolph Valentino.


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[Assistant] Rudolph Valentino would pass away on August 23rd and that last film would be released two weeks later to much success.


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[Assistant] Valentino was said to have purchased a ring a few months before his death during a visit to San Francisco.


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[Assistant] He had been warned about the ring by the seller, that all who had owned it before him had suffered tragedy or death, but Rudolph didn't believe it or care. And it seems that he was wearing that ring the day he died.


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[Assistant] The dead man's best friend, a guy with the memorable name of Joe Casino, took the ring and died a few months later when he was run over by a truck.


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[Assistant] Joe's brother decided to take the ring after that, but a burglar stole it before getting shot to death by the police.


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[Assistant] Of course, Lore has been a podcast since 2015 with over 350 million downloads to date. You can learn more about this show over at lorepodcast.com.


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[Assistant] Good to be here man. Should we, we should say Nate was planning on being here this week.


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[Assistant] I watched Dusty and her do Stand Up on the Spot at Zany's as part of the Nashville Comedy Festival.


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[Assistant] Which, uh, is a show where you just walk out there and the audience yells at you what they want you to talk about. And I had never seen Dusty in that kind of environment. I've seen you do some shows where people were yelling stuff out. Oh yeah. When they weren't supposed to be, but this is, this is what the show is. And you were, it was very funny watching you handle that man. How'd he do? He did great. I thought you had the set of the night, honestly.


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[Assistant] Yeah, if you're in Nashville, Zany's Comedy Club, which is a big, almost 300-seat room, they're opening another room right next door. This is about a 100-seat room called The Lab, and that's gonna be a lot of fun. Gonna have some


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[Assistant] It's kind of perfect. The room's great. The staff is great. They get it. The crowds are good. They police the room. It's like what more could you ask for?


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[Assistant] Yeah, they get, they get what you're doing. Omaha people, man. But I did everything people suggested I do.


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[Assistant] I did, I went to the Omaha zoo, which is consistently rated the number one zoo in the country, they say.


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[Assistant] Walked around that for a while, saw some gorillas, saw some gorillas come right up to.


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[Assistant] Everyone's around this glass, right, and this gorilla walked right up, took some feces, smeared it all over the glass in front of all these people. It's a lot of fun. He's just reminded them, like, you're in my territory. And I'm trapped, I'm in jail. And it's very sad on a certain level.


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[Assistant] If so, they've repaired that glass pretty well because nobody ever felt in danger.


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[Assistant] Right, uh, went to the zoo, went to this place, everyone recommended this place, it's called the Alpine Inn in Omaha, and it's a fried chicken place.


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[Assistant] But you show up and what makes it unique is they seat you in front of this big glass window.


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[Assistant] They're living on easy street, man. They just post up right outside this chicken restaurant. They're eating onion rings and fried chicken.


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[Assistant] So you don't, you didn't see any until you were in the restaurant and looking out. And uh, so it was kind of fun.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it was awesome. The people of Omaha are so great. This guy, I wish I'd remembered his name, but he brought.


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[Assistant] Uh, no, it was a fan that came to the show and brought, uh, a box of Krispy Kreme donuts for me. And they gave it to somebody in the staff. And so the staff brings it back to the green room.


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[Assistant] I got excited. The staff brought it in and I was like, Oh dude, somebody brought me donuts. Let's go. We are all so excited. And we opened it up and inside the box are a bunch of diapers. It was a, no, no, no, it was a nice gift.


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[Assistant] It was a nice gift, a thoughtful gift for an expectant father, you know, and there's a note written inside the box and I saw him after the show and I go, that's very kind and thoughtful and meaningful, but we were all so upset that there weren't donuts.


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[Assistant] Yeah. So, but great crowds. Thank you to everybody that came sold out a show, which is pretty fun.


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[Assistant] You go away on a club weekend and you kinda hope, at least for me, deep down I'm hoping something goes bad so I have something interesting to talk about, but it was just kind of a perfect weekend at a club. Like everybody there is so great. Talk about a humble brag. It's all seamless. No, I'm not saying my sets were perfect, I'm saying the club is so great.


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[Assistant] But you gotta think that this is the number one zoo in America. It's getting treated better there than it would.


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[Assistant] He's gotta be in the zoo. Let it be that way. That's the one you wanted. Yeaah.


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[Assistant] All right. I'm sorry if, uh, I said on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, I said people are probably sick of my voice and somebody commented, we're not sick of your voice. We're sick of your attitude. I'll try to, I'll try to dial back. I'll try to dial it back a little bit today, but I will be reading through these comments.


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[Assistant] The comments come from Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Apple Podcasting views, and if you see Brian at one of his shows, you can just pass him a note and he'll...


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[Assistant] Give it to all of us. Also Nate land at natebargetzi.com. First comment comes from Kevin Thompson. Great topic for today. Wow. Thanks.


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[Assistant] And have never been to either of those states. The best rule for being a fan is to be a true fan no matter what. Also, one of my top rules is to never boo your team.


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[Assistant] I disagree too, because if, if...


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[Assistant] You're paying money to support them and if there's no effort or if you feel like...


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[Assistant] Yeah, but let's say, you know, your, your guy on your team doesn't run it out through first base, so you can boom a little.


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[Assistant] And your Philadelphia fans will boo you for anything too.


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[Assistant] I'm kidding. It's tough to be a Mets fan these days though. I'll tell you that. Next comment comes from orangeblue37. Orange and blue. I wonder what school that's talking about. As an Auburn fan in Alabama, I could not love Reap's fandom rules more.


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[Assistant] If you're not from our corner of the country, the background for this is Auburn and Alabama, probably the most intense rivalry in college sports, I would argue. Auburn has a corner on their campus, Tumors Corner, with some trees, and traditionally after


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[Assistant] A big win or any kind of meaningful event in Auburn's history, they go and they roll the trees at Tumer's Corner with toilet paper. An Alabama fan, an unhinged, now infamous Alabama fan, I think he died. He did. Harvey Updike, he named his kid Alibama.


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[Assistant] That's how crazy of a fan this guy is. He said he had too much Bama in him. He went and poisoned those trees and they died. And it was kind of a dark chapter in the Alabama Auburn rivalry. So that was the reference there. Just ask our trees. I gotta say.


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[Assistant] In my experience, I understand Alabama fans are arrogant about the football team.


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[Assistant] But my experience is the Auburn people.


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[Assistant] of Auburn. That's my experience. Feel free to disagree. Feel free to call in 1-800-Paul-Finebomb if you do have a note.


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[Assistant] That's a great shirt. Uh, Joe Alt would be huge if the Titans got him. He's gonna be, he's gonna have a longer in the NFL I think.


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[Assistant] Best offensive lineman that our names had in a long time. We've had a bunch of good ones.


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[Assistant] Quentin Nelson, the Martin brothers, he's right up there. We'll see. I'd love it.


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[Assistant] Wow, I was just trying to make a joke.


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[Assistant] You think, dude, you think I'm bragging about being in South Bend? It's one of the worst, most dying towns in America. I remember my first weekend there, I got the South Bend Tribune and the headline was South Bend top five dying cities in America.


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[Assistant] He was running for mayor when I was there and he got elected and really turned things around. It's really a great place.


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[Assistant] Just kidding, everyone's great. Jane Jaworski.


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[Assistant] Just kidding. Thaddeus says, perhaps a maple denim elite. I grew up across the border from Michigan and have been a, quote, Walmart Wolverine for almost the entirety of my fan life. Didn't attend the school, but still have all the swag from Walmart.


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[Assistant] You can take the nicest person to everybody if you drop them in that situation. I just saw, I saw behavior in Ann Arbor that I've never seen anywhere else. Just the aggressiveness.


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[Assistant] Notre Dame, Michigan, Denard Robinson. Do you remember him? Couldn't tie his shoes. That was the whole thing is he wore Velcro shoes.


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[Assistant] And, uh, not making fun of him. He wouldn't make a big deal out of it. He wouldn't tie his shoes. And he was so good and he won last second. But God, those fans were, they get right up in your face, dude.


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[Assistant] Places have surprised me. I went to Florida State and I expected to hate those guys and everybody was great. In Tallahassee. Yea.


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[Assistant] Buttigieg is on it though, so don't worry. Jane Jaworski, regarding the fan episode, I'm from Michigan and my husband is from Boston. We live in Indiana now. He is a fan of all Boston slash New England teams. I consider myself a Boston New England fan by marriage.


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[Assistant] I truly believe that spouses get a free pass to which teams they support. Do you all agree?


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[Assistant] Yeah, and that's who it was. Sorry about that, Jaws.


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[Assistant] Leslie Kuehner. I was at a Nickel Creek concert. Great band.


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[Assistant] He hosted a Prairie home companion that Nate did, but Nickel Creek is great.


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[Assistant] One of the band members singled her out and sternly gestured for her to turn her device off which the girl wouldn't do. So I guess she has footage of the band being annoyed with her to this day. I'd like to see that.


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[Assistant] Yeah. You know, when you're at a concert and you see somebody filming, there's part of you that's like, why are you just enjoy the moment, right? Yeah. Why don't you go home? But I watch a lot of videos of concerts recorded by people at the concert. So yeah, a TikTok clip or something. Oh yeah. So I'm grateful somebody's doing it.


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[Assistant] I'll be watching a movie with Lucy and she's just on her phone. And I go, you want to watch this together? And she's like, let me watch it the way I want to watch it. Which is not at all.


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[Assistant] I know. And she's like, this show stinks. And I'm like, it's actually great. You just gotta, gotta tune into it. Yea, you gotta know what they're doing here.


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[Assistant] Yeah, it happens quicker than you remember. All of a sudden they're friends.


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[Assistant] And that's her way of processing like the social reality of high school is to put all these stereotypes of people in a room together.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Well, they integrate a lot of real footage into the movie.


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[Assistant] Stated to his friend that he was not allowed to wear the t-shirt of the band he was going to see. His classic line was, don't be that guy.


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[Assistant] I quote that line all the time today and could not agree more.


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[Assistant] I don't, I don't even know what, it's just a form of gatekeeping that diehard fans do about everything.


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[Assistant] You were popping a mint or something right into the microphone.


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[Assistant] Until right then. And if there's any tension, dude, let me tell you the, the Nate Lane fans, they come to your defense, dude.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah they do. Tyler Conklin, which is, Brian, we can agree he's a great name.


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[Assistant] This episode about fandom hits a little harder for me today as it comes out that the same day that my favorite team, the Arizona Coyotes,


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[Assistant] Are playing their last game in Arizona before reportedly moving to Utah. To me, fandom is all about the experiences and memories and I'll remember a lot of great moments from going to games as a kid with my dad to taking my daughter to games. That is a little sad.


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[Assistant] When you feel like the world's just moving on and doesn't care about you at all, you know?


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[Assistant] Yeah, Utah's probably getting, probably getting an MLB team too.


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[Assistant] Phoenix is still a great city, but I am sorry about that. I would, I would be very bummed if I were a big fan of a team and they moved, so.


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[Assistant] Maybe it's the only ice. You think fans would go just to cool off. Just to cool off a bit. Jason Gamble, I liked Dusty's question about why he didn't see the moon before the eclipse happened.


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[Assistant] Dusty is 100% correct. Well there you go. That's your people. Yeah. Dusty is 100% correct about shredded cheese having additives to prevent clumping. This is why shredded cheese doesn't melt as well as other cheese and why it browns so quickly. Shred at home for sure.


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[Assistant] But I feel like that shredding is such a...


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[Assistant] He had to give it up. If it's labeled ground beef, it is a mix of different cuts and different fat ratios. It could be anything and usually very cheap. Look for ground chuck, round sirloin, etc.


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[Assistant] That tells you what kind of beef it's from and should come with a higher accuracy of lean to fat ratio.


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[Assistant] As far as what it's fed, most cattle are fed corn because it yields faster growth and more fat, which Americans love. We do love fat. Grass fed are leaner and sometimes more gamey tasting, which I like.


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[Assistant] I have a sink downstairs in my house where if you turn the water on it's brown for like two seconds and then it gets clear. Wow.


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[Assistant] And I'm just imagining a little like Dixie cup that you rinse your mouth out with from the sink.


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[Assistant] I've been waiting man. The 82 game pre-season is in the books and it's finally time for the real season.


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[Assistant] You guys have been following the NBA this year, exciting stuff going on. Don't miss out any of the NBA playoff action at DraftKings Sportsbooks, an official sports betting partner of the NBA. From the play-in tournament through the finals, DraftKings Sportsbooks has you covered with same game parlays,


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[Assistant] Live betting, odds boost, and so much more. Tonight's game, Wednesday night, the playoff, it's Miami Heat versus Boston Celtics, two historically great teams. It's going to be a very fun game. I like to find things to bet on. You know what I started betting on? Uh, like,


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[Assistant] I like to bet on, like, who will score first.


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[Assistant] And that is so exciting for those few seconds. Just like who's going to score first. There's all kinds of stuff you can bet on with DraftKings. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code NATELAND.


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[Assistant] New customers can bet five bucks to get 200 in bonus bets instantly. You're insane if you don't do this. That's code NATELAND only on DraftKings.com. The crown is yours.


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[Assistant] You ever take something other than water with you on stage and try to drink it?


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[Assistant] Yeah. I took a diet coke the other day. Big mistake. Was it? Yeah. It was just warm diet coke. Oh yeah. And you know, your mouth starts getting dry and then you look down, all you got's a warm diet coke.


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[Assistant] That's pretty great. No check drop.


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[Assistant] We just got, we're getting ready to sell our house. So we're fixing up our deck and a couple other things before we sell our current house. And the other day I was getting ready to leave for Omaha. I walked out on our back deck and there's half a raccoon just on the deck.


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[Assistant] It looked like a baby raccoon. I won't pull the picture up on here, but I took some pictures of it.


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[Assistant] Interesting. I only see possums and raccoons out there, but the one thing I do know about raccoons, and this is...


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[Assistant] Don't laugh at me if this sounds naive, but I'm like, I know raccoons can carry rabies. So I go, I don't want to pick up this raccoon body.


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[Assistant] Well, I should say I only read the transcript of it on the phone. I haven't listened to the tone of voice of how they called back. You wanna try it? Play it? Yea, we can play it.


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[Assistant] I'll play it on here, we'll see how it sounds. But, uh, it's still there. I came back from Ohol and it's still just sitting on my deck. And I could, I could grab it.


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[Assistant] Lucy hasn't gone outside since I've, since I told her about it. Uh. But yeaah, I mean. There it is. Oh yeaah, let me see. Yeaah, yeaah, grab that. That's pretty gnarly. Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] Shout out. Todd O'Bourne. Todd, what is the deal with home hall stakes?


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[Assistant] Well, liquid by definition takes the shape of whatever container it's in. So that's what's happening.


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[Assistant] Wow. Oh man, it is right in the middle, huh? Talk about textbook middle America. It's right there in the center.


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[Assistant] Yeah, you like the idea that ultimately we have to submit to a higher power.


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[Assistant] You walk out in the ocean and you feel, you feel the wave come at you and you're like, this could overtake me at any time.


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[Assistant] It's a good feeling. Yeah. It's good to be reminded of that every now and then. Yeah, I'll walk back in.


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[Assistant] I did. I'm dude, I'm out here. I'm exploring the world and it's, it's letting me know it's boss.


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[Assistant] But if you're running for the state Senate, then you don't have a party affiliation in Nebraska? That's how I read it.


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[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah. He's probably up there for me too. I think Warren Buffett. I think of Peyton Manning yelling Omaha. Those are the top three.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm just saying, well, Peyton Manning, I think of Peyton Manning when I hear Nebraska because of that. But I imagine there's more than that.


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[Assistant] You remember as most of your childhood in Nebraska was great at college football, right? The black shirts, all that. They were like, they were dominant. And then, you know, they've struggled a little bit in the last few years.


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[Assistant] Wow, that's such a long way to get from Japan to Omaha.


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[Assistant] You ever have an Arby's Reuben sandwich? I don't think so. Give it a shot, dude. Okay. It's way better than you think it would be. Okay. Cause you don't think this is getting you a great sandwich at Arby's, but it's, it's good.


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[Assistant] Everyone kept telling us to go, to try Arunza. We did not. We did not go to Arunza. Arunza is a fast food chain.


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[Assistant] And also the name of the sandwich, but also the name of their signature dish. Now I have a hat for the Omaha storm chasers, which is their minor league baseball team and their alternate Jersey is a run zone. It looks like a burrito. It's on the hat. Should have worn that today. I wasn't thinking too well, but, uh, no, I didn't try it.


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[Assistant] I got conflicting reviews. People said it's great. Some people said it's not worth going again.


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[Assistant] Yeah. To the cabin. One of these days, you're just not going to show up. Yeah. And you'll just be gone.


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[Assistant] Do you ever wonder how much of your personal data, data, is out there on the internet for anyone to see? Dusty's gonna take a look right now. More than you think. Your name, your contact info, your social security number and home address, even information about your family.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is private and needs to stay private. And that's the stuff that delete me.


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[Assistant] It is crazy. It's worth signing up just to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What is out there? Because you will be surprised so much.


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[Assistant] So much of your personal info is available and being sold and being passed around. You need to sign up for DeleteMe. Take control of your data and keep your private life private by signing up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To get 20% off is to go to JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate and enter code Nate at checkout.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate. JoinDeleteMe.com slash Nate. I wonder if I spelled it wrong there at the end.


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[Assistant] They should though, just to get people in there.


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[Assistant] So Grand Rapids takes credit for him. I just went to the Gerald Ford Presidential Library there, right near Dr. Green's.


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[Assistant] How about it? The most prolific author of all time.


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[Assistant] Because he would, he would get paid by the word for some of these book deals. So it was just all just so verbose. He wrote like, I mean dozens and dozens and dozens of novels, I think, before he got into the Scientology stuff. He was just a science fiction author.


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[Assistant] And I know he lives in Memphis because he works for FedEx, right? But at the end when he delivers the package that he never opened, isn't that in Nebraska?


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[Assistant] It's a psychological horror film directed by Bill Paxton.


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[Assistant] It's about two young brothers and their father who believes that God told them to kill demons disguised as people.


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[Assistant] Yeah, this guy is, this is, this is one of those guys I did not know this guy's name, but I've seen this dude my whole life, I feel like.


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[Assistant] Alright. Would you have gone up and, oh, Ben Harper's issue was married to.


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[Assistant] I've never seen it. I wanna watch it. That's a great movie. I mean, it's dark. It's dark.


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[Assistant] It's a comedy though. It is a comedy, but compared to like Mean Girls, which is also about high school girls, this one's about like a teacher and a student having an inappropriate relationship and there's a lot of like darker stuff in it.


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[Assistant] Okay, I don't want to spoil it, but yeah, Reese Witherspoon's character in the other, the teacher. You don't remember that part of it?


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[Assistant] That's Matthew Broderick's character. I'm talking about his best friend who's also a teacher.


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[Assistant] But when it shows a montage of him just walking through cause he has status everywhere, I do feel like that sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Boarding early on Southwest. That's my little form of that. What a great movie that is. George Clooney is awesome. He is awesome. He's from Omaha too.


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[Assistant] I did that last week, except in the middle, it just spread out a little bit, dude.


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[Assistant] Uh, I sat on a plane for an hour waiting to take off this weekend because they go, well, uh, just letting everybody know we're waiting on maintenance to come up here. The, uh, pilot, uh, my headphone jack doesn't work.


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[Assistant] We're going to wait. Hopefully Maine doesn't come and help us out. So I go, I'm going to sleep. So I go to sleep for like an hour and I wake up.


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[Assistant] Thinking I've slept through the whole flight. We're still sitting there waiting for this headphone jack. I go, just put it on speaker phone, dude. We don't care back here. And they eventually just go, we'll just figure it out. And they took off when you're like, well, if it wasn't that big of a deal, why are we sitting on here for so long?


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[Assistant] Now, I got, I got the, uh, the backstory from, uh, I should say, I should shout her out by name. Colleen Quinn at the Omaha Funny Bone. Uh, one of the best. She's amazing. She was, she drove me, uh,


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[Assistant] I'm gonna do a terrible job telling the story, but they take care of boys.


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[Assistant] I went to Shields. It's pretty wild. The, the, uh, Ferris wheels going off in there. I had been to...


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[Assistant] Yeah, and I had been to one in Des Moines, I think, but I hadn't been to the Omaha one, which feels like the flagship store. It was packed in there and a Ferris wheel going off and people eating and they got pets in there and it was crazy.


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[Assistant] They claim number one, but I've heard a few places claim that.


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[Assistant] Columbus. Columbus and San Diego. What was the big, is there a big display at El Mazo? Well apparently the Asian Highlands, uh, is the signature exhibit with all the Asian stuff. Tigers and...


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[Assistant] They have a dome, the desert dome it's called, where it's closed in and they have all the desert stuff in there. Okay. So that's kind of fun to walk through it, though it's real humid and there's just, dude I'm starting to think, so many of these things, it would be so much more fun if I was the only person there, but like the zoo was so packed.


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[Assistant] I mean, that's the real zoo. Let me tell you. There's just like maybe a hundred thousand people in there walking around so packed you can't walk anywhere.


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[Assistant] Yes. Or like the Mona Lisa and then you back up and it's a million people trying to look at it. That's what it felt like. Yeah. You can't even walk quickly through it because it was so just like traffic jammed full of people. Were you there on a Saturday?


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[Assistant] We were there on probably the worst time to be there, a Saturday when it was kind of warm outside, so it was just so packed.


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[Assistant] I'm also just an adult without a kid going to these places. A lot of these places, like if I had a kid with me, this would be unbelievable. I'm sure. Right. Which I will soon, but.


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[Assistant] It's like a zoo where they also sell guns.


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[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's some animals and here's the stuff to kill those animals.


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[Assistant] I don't know if they could, could they survive in fresh water? Piranhas are freshwater fish.


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[Assistant] So they could exist in the water from the Cumberland River, I'm guessing.


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[Assistant] Sue said he's up there. I'm gonna, I'm gonna give Western Nebraska a shot. If you live in a Alliance or Scotts Bluff.


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[Assistant] Yeah. If you live in one of the, I'd like to come visit. So yeah, or Chadrone or Valentine. I'll see you there. I'm coming.


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[Assistant] Dusty's pulling up his calendar. Yeah. Yeah. What do you got going on this week? Where are you?


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[Assistant] That's great. This weekend, this is Aaron Weber speaking, by the way. I'm in Atlanta, Georgia at the punchline. All weekend, April 25th through the 28th. That's like 14 shows. It's like six, I think, but it's going to be a lot of fun.


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[Assistant] Now we're doing Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Well maybe it's only five shows. I don't know.


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[Assistant] So come on out to see, uh, see us in Atlanta and then, uh, next week I'm in


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[Assistant] I'm in, I'm doing the Netflix as a joke festival too. I'm doing a much smaller show than Dusty's doing, but I will be at the Hollywood Improv May 8th.


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[Assistant] That's like a Wednesday night, so I'm trying to, it's a small room, I'm trying to sell it out, but come, come see me at the Hollywood Improv at the Netflix is a Joke Festival.


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[Assistant] And apparently Nate has a joke and especially just recorded this weekend where he also says poem like I do.


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[Assistant] Yeah. I think we all say it that way in the South. I think Aaron's the out. I might be. I usually am.


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[Assistant] I watched an entire episode of Carolina Reaper. We're preparing for this episode. I have notes, questions.


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[Assistant] Because last time he said he didn't see it, we got so many emails from people saying that's worse than not seeing Shawshank.


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[Assistant] But don't assume, don't assume. Actually, Nate's dad was doing magic in my hometown of Lebanon, Tennessee, and I had a finagle tickets calling favors in my hometown because it was sold out. But I took my mom to see his show and it was so great. A lot of folks were there.


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[Assistant] He is, and, and, uh, Nate said last week in the podcast that stand-up comedy is the hardest form of entertainment. I'm not going to argue with that, but man, what?


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[Assistant] His dad has to do a lot. He has to, I mean, pick people out of the audience and just hope that they play along right. He said he made an audible call. Why second this woman? Cause he does a trick where he takes a ring off your finger and he looked at her ring when he got close and was like, that ring's not going to work. And he just quickly switched to somebody else.


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[Assistant] I don't know, but he's great and that is not an easy job as well.


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[Assistant] Does he do a lot of up close stuff or is it like... Nah, it's up close. I mean...


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[Assistant] It was, yeah, his dad is so funny and so talented. I don't know how he does. I was about to share a trick, but I thought, well, he may not even want to tell the punchline of the trick. So I won't tell it, but it's, I don't have no idea how he does any of them.


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[Assistant] You know what? I mean, if it was like, if he was like seven, you're like, all right, but he's 13. I mean, it probably meant more to you than it would him.


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[Assistant] Well, I talked to, uh, Nate's dad today. Apparently we hang out a lot together, but he flew Sunday to Phoenix to watch night two of Nate's special. Fly or levitate.


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[Assistant] You know, I didn't ask, so I don't know, but he made it and he said it went great. He said, they told him that after night one, they had everything they needed, which is a great.


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[Assistant] Uh, thing to have just to relax for night two bit, but he said night two was incredible. So I think Nate's special went really well. And we'll hear more about it next week, but I think he had a great weekend.


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[Assistant] So even if it was like a steakhouse and it said grass fed or, or whatever, something that, would that help or hurt?


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[Assistant] Okay. All right. Well, let's skip that comment. And, uh, no.


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[Assistant] Yeah, son, let me sit you down. Oh, we're going to shake hands. Yeah. All right. Thank you.


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[Assistant] Was this signed by himself two rows up? I never got a good look at him. I was going to say he should switch with him and let the two boys at least hang out with each other. How old were the kids you think?


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[Assistant] I told a story a long time ago about being on a Delta flight and I chose the Sopranos to watch and I just assumed they edited out the bad part and I was


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[Assistant] Mistaken. And well, it happened to me again a couple of weeks ago. I'm flying home and this time I'm watching a movie on my laptop that downloaded from the airline Oppenheimer.


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[Assistant] Well I wanted to tell you guys before you get to Cameron about Viori clothing. Oh please dude. Now every Cameron out there is wondering, am I the Cameron they're about to read? You'll have to wait and see. Let me tell you about Viori. There's more than one? Uhm, I don't, Cameron? There might be more than one.


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[Assistant] My t-shirts beware. I'm wearing my Predators cause the, the Preds start playoffs this weekend. Ever since Dusty got them fired up, they've been red hot. Red hot like my face. Yeah. So I'm written on the Preds. Can I say, I know you're about to


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[Assistant] Well, Viori clothing is everything you need in clothing. John, you familiar with Viori? I'm not. Please enlighten me. It's great. It's great. It's comfortable clothing. I don't wear jeans on a...


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[Assistant] I didn't know where that was going. I thought thin, come on, it's, it's durable. It was a thin jacket, very light, but very warm.


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[Assistant] Some people say Viori is an investment in your happiness. I say that for our listeners they're offering.


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[Assistant] 20% off your first purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at Viori.com slash Nate. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash Nate. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase,


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[Assistant] Enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders or $75 and free returns. Go to Viori.com slash Nate and discover the versatility of Viori clothing.


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[Assistant] Problem is, I think when you see it written out, you're less likely to give up on those bad lines because you're more invested in them.


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[Assistant] Where if you go up in Riff, you kind of figure out quicker what works, what doesn't.


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[Assistant] I bet though, like John, when you won last comic standing, people get to know you. Dusty, I've seen it with you. Cause now.


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[Assistant] I certainly see with Nate, Nate nowhere has to go up and say, I'm married with a kid. Everybody there knows him. So you can just get into some stuff.


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[Assistant] Ryan, when you started. I took a class first and it helped me just a lot of reasons you just said though, confidence wise. I met some people in the class and then when we go to open mic, we would hang together and, and you just learned some basics, like stuff you don't even think about, but moving the mic stand and just basic stuff like that. So either way would work, but it worked for me to go to the, take the class first.


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[Assistant] I took an improv class years after I'd already started stand up and I was so bad because I'm so used to editing the funny.


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[Assistant] For stand up and improv, you just kind of got to go with it and right. See where it goes.


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[Assistant] Right. But I know what you're, he's saying, you know how you can see the moon during the daytime? Yea.


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[Assistant] I think when it gets that close to the sun, it's just going to be way too bright for you to be able to see the sun. I think when you're seeing the moon during the daytime, they're pretty far away from each other.


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[Assistant] But how far back do you have to go before you trust the person? Like a farmer's market, you trust them?


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[Assistant] Well this week, uhm, warm up, like I said, warm up reds cause the playoff's starting. Thought it'd be a good time to talk about fandom.


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[Assistant] Fans in general, just what makes a fan the do's and don'ts and the pros and cons. And one reason we chose this is because Mr. Reap here.


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[Assistant] Mhm. Has created an official document. Yes.


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[Assistant] I emailed you, I think he may have updated this even, an amendment.


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[Assistant] Uh, if you live in Tennessee, where you have the Titans, Predators, Grizzlies, things like that.


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[Assistant] I almost feel like there should be an accept, if it's the state school, like the university of Tennessee.


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[Assistant] Or the University of North Carolina that kind of represents the whole state.


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[Assistant] Well, I just feel like the University of Tennessee, you live in Tennessee, that's the University of Tennessee. Seemed like maybe.


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[Assistant] If Dusty lived in Tuscaloosa, could he say we? If he lived in Tuscaloosa?


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[Assistant] I think Nate has a little family ties to Vanderbilt. Okay. He didn't go there, but some connections. I just, everybody was a Tennessee fan and I just as a kid was a contrarian.


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[Assistant] Probably. Like Fort Campbell, which is close to here. I doubt they're rooting for Army that much.


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[Assistant] So the Platinum Elite, that's anyone currently and that used to be on?


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[Assistant] Good question. Uh, yes, I'm going to say yes to that. Because I think a current Auburn player should be ranked ahead of someone like Charles Barkley who hasn't been there in 40 years.


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[Assistant] If you graduated from a university, you're more invested than a first semester freshman at that school.


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[Assistant] That's a fair point. I just think a lot of times kids drop out and then they don't even remember. They went there one semester. Right. Okay. Transfer.


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[Assistant] Well, as we're talking about fandom, that's, that's what I remember going to a Titans game with a buddy of mine brought his buddy who's from Denver was a Broncos fan. Titans are playing in the Broncos the year after they won the Superbowl.


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[Assistant] And everybody hates on, you hate on your own team the most cause you, you only remember the bad stuff. You know what I mean? Like, oh, that's typical, whatever.


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[Assistant] But the whole game, he's like, we'll blow it. That's the Broncos for you. We'll blow it. And I didn't say anything because I didn't know that I'm like, dude, you won the Superbowl. You're the defending champs. We've done nothing. So stop acting like, yeah.


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[Assistant] A couple more, whatever. The Wii thing. Now this isn't just college athletics, but it could, if, if a team, like you mentioned the Braves. Okay.


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[Assistant] Okay, so you, you'll read, you were Joe Monta, well you were a kid then. Wait a second.


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[Assistant] You are correct. So I looked up some, some rules for sports fans. I don't have it here in front of me, but I think it's in that email sent you. Okay. We can even talk about that. Concert fans, comedy fans.


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[Assistant] Now, if you're, I don't know if it's even on there, but if you're attending a concert, we're assuming they're seats.


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[Assistant] Especially if you're like a Bridgestone arena or in a big stadium, you're at the very top. Why are you standing for? They can't see you.


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[Assistant] If the only person in front of you standing or stand up for a big play. And I guess we all have our own judgment what that is, but I want to sit some.


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[Assistant] Alright, so this is some BuzzFeed, some concert rules.


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[Assistant] But I'm like, after a while, I just started thinking, man, your arm must hurt. Your arm raised for an hour.


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[Assistant] I know, I should have, I mean at first I thought she'll do it real quick and then she'll stop and she never stopped.


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[Assistant] I mean, I'm doing it now with my daughter if we go somewhere.


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[Assistant] With your buddy Will O'Donnell. Oh yes, Will O'Donnell, great dude. Yeaah, looking forward to meeting him. Uhm, the following weekend, I'm in Fairfield, Connecticut at Fairfield Comedy Circle, two shows on the 27th, and then I was just in Tacoma, just in Portland, they said, come back, we need you. I'm going halfway in between.


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[Assistant] And everyone called me out on it and corrected me. I was just there last month, but I got a whole new hour, so uhm.


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[Assistant] And Nate should be back next week and we'll hear all about his big special. Can we hear about it? Yeah, I'm pumped.


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[Assistant] It's just this kid up there. Dude, Zach was dying laughing. He's like, you loser, dude. They passed on you for a kid celebrating a birthday.


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[Assistant] She said from Costa Rica, he goes, you from the coast of Puerto Rico.


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[Assistant] So you say, so I'm good at improv. I'm not good at characters or world building at all. Well, what are you good at?


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[Assistant] The reviews on this are very funny. Reasonable food, poor quality. What does that mean?


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[Assistant] And everyone's like, shut up, sit down. And he's going, Mr. Phones, we got a newly engaged couple back here. And everyone's going, shut up, dude. Nobody ca-


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[Assistant] Well, you know, leave them wanting more. I mean, it's my motto. I do get it. Like sometimes if I'm like, I got a, uh, I got a flight and I'm trying to download some podcasts to listen to if it says two hours online.


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[Assistant] An hour is a real sweet spot, but I also don't work a desk job. So I think if you, like if you work where you can be free to just listen to podcasts all day, I get wanting to, wanting more time.


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[Assistant] Cause podcasts are pretty filthy out there. So it is nice when you can find like something that you could listen to at work or around your kids. I didn't realize how filthy a lot of podcasts were until I had kids in the car. And then I was like, Oh gosh. You know?


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[Assistant] Cause I'm, you know, I'm completely desensitized to the world. Right. But, uh, I've been around a lot of filth in my life.


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[Assistant] Matt Murphy I listened to on 99.7. Really fun guy. He's had me on a few times. Really nice guy.


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[Assistant] You know, he just goes off. People get mad sometimes when I'm on the, uh, uh, station with him because they're like, we got all these hot topics to talk about and you're talking to some comedian. And I'm like, well, not just some comedian. I'm the best. So take it easy.


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[Assistant] Where were you, Dusty? I was in Huntsville, Alabama and I did a moon landing joke and it went very, I spilled water on myself, but it went very good. I'm left handed and then when I'm over here, everything's backwards. You know what I mean?


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[Assistant] You know, the roads in Huntsville, this may not be for everyone, but they have this weird road and it's just right out in front of the club. It's like.


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[Assistant] It's like a, a big relief to them. It's cathartic for them. Yeah. It feels good. Like, of course, if we were in a conversation, they would have to go, no, it's real. But if we, no, but I do believe the moon's real, just that we can't go there. I do believe it's real. Of course it's real, but we just, you know, we can't land on it. Okay.


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[Assistant] They said we were gonna go back this month and then, and then, you know, they were saying that last year, we're gonna go back in January and now we're, we're not doing it.


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[Assistant] And then India did it, but then when the footage looked like, uh, uh, the video game Galaga or Galactica, whatever the game was called.


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[Assistant] Is the footage looks bad? It does look bad. I'm not saying they didn't do it, but the footage is not a good look.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'd be like me telling you that I got into a fight and saying it's on video and then showing you a street fighter too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'd be like, nah, that's me right there. And you're like, that's a cartoon. And I'm like, nah, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When I get into fights, I get into cartoon mode.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great time. Great time. A lot of fun. Great club. Yeaah. I love it there. There's a lot of coasters here for stack coasters stacked on top of coasters around here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do have two cups. That's kind of a boring coaster. What about you, Brian? What were you up to this week? You use coasters at the house?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, well Hannah does and tells me to do it. You don't. I could care less. I buy a lot of my furniture at, you know, a thrift store.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's the kind of furniture that you can afford to just throw out at some point. And I like that. The whole thing's a coaster. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I'd also like to say this though. This is something that I did. Alright. Sorry.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did the, I did a podcast called Are You Garbage? You sure did. And, uh, I know it was shared in the Facebook group, but I don't, you know, maybe there's more listeners. And on Reddit. And on Reddit. Oh, I didn't see it right. You know, I'm out of Reddit now. Reddit's not kind to me. And, uh. It's not kind to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but I did that episode and, uh, your wife text me and said it's, uh, maybe the best podcast she's ever heard and, uh, she gets excited and, uh, but I'm just saying, I don't think she would mind me saying that and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lucy said best ever that she's ever heard. So across all podcasts, all comm- she didn't get detailed with it, but.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Iowa seems to be a hot Nate land place. So does Ohio, by the way. Oh yeaah. And, uh, you know, that, the time I brought us those Longhorn gift cards, that was from a lady in Des Moines. Oh, okay. Oh, nice. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let me read a couple. We don't have to, I don't have to, I don't have to read them all. All right. You know what I mean? We can split up the duties here. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, this is from Erica Breaker. I think it's Breaker. I like that last name though. That sounds like a wrestling name. Erica Breaker. About to break these bones.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aaron mentioned the plane where the door flew off. I was on that plane sitting across from the hole and just wanted you guys to know that it was not a door from the inside. From the inside, it was, alright, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just something ripping off the plane and you being open is pretty scary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think uhm, very low. I would say one in a million. I'm just gonna, I have no idea how those sort of statistics work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's insane. Imagine you're at the exit and then when it lands, the fight attendant comes and goes.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you said you could handle the duties here. Okay. I came by and I told you to read the brochure and I go, I'm looking for verbal confirmation and you said yes. Right. And then here we are mid flight, the door comes off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's gotta be a relief that it's part of the wall. Imagine being at the exit row and another part of the wall lifts off and you're like, I dunno, should I, should I jump into action here?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Roby, should I open the door, get a little flow going through? Have you ever been a hero like that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, the tornado hit Nashville. I kind of wanted to go and help clean up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I feel like, you know, whenever I show up to something like that, there'll be somebody already in control and they're like, Oh, we want you to just, uh, you know, uh, pick up small sticks. And I'm just like, Oh, I know I'm not out here to just pick up small sticks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the opposite of a hero. Maybe you're right. Maybe, but I want to be more involved. I don't want to be off to the side. I don't need to be a hero. I don't need to be on the news, but I'd rather, you know, let me help, you know, people inside see if they need, you know, take my arm or something. I don't want to. Okay. I don't want to be picking up little pieces of sheet rock out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like I always get the, when I used to help my church do things, I just felt like I always got like the least important fun. They're like, why don't you go get the donuts? You know, and I'm like, sounds pretty good. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's fair. Or, or, or, not a little bit about me, but uhm, you know, just I don't want to be pushed to the side. Like, you know the movie Superbad, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They spend, these two guys spend the whole day trying to get this liquor for the party. Right. And then they go through, they go through so much trouble to get it and they finally get there with it. And they're like, yeah, we've got tons of it over here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Sure. Or, or a Teen Wolf. This seems to be a theme in a lot of, like they go through so much trouble to get a keg and then they finally get there and they got tons of kegs. Right. You're not a hero.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just want you to know, I put some, I did put some money in there and then you can lie about how much you did. Cause they didn't see it. Put a hundred dollars in there and they're like, we can see there's only three in there. Well, somebody took it, but I don't know what to tell you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, listen, I see an opening and I'm like, do I want to make the joke? It'll probably, it'll probably be worth it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow. It's abdominal thrust. Oh good. You can even lose your maneuvers. Yeah. We're losing it all. So anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So anyway, uh, I think you shouldn't do the maneuver. If you see somebody choke and you go, you know what? I don't believe the way that Dr. Heimlich believed. So that's my joke. Sorry. Well, don't bring it up. Well, let them punch it up for you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All right. I love that I'm, that I'm killing in the, in the, what is this? The lunch room. Yeah. I love that. All right. Thanks, Joshua Heinstrider.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That is, that's awesome. I love that. I hope.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go watch working man. I hope that ch choking. Oh, he does say he's okay now. So I'm glad, glad to know that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I love that. That could, that's risky though. It's like, your hands go, put it in this pocket. It's warm in this pocket.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're like, you don't want to end the date? You think the date's over? Uh, David Lewicki, would love to get y'all's thoughts on comedians using visual or PowerPoint slides to aid in their acts. I've been seeing it more often lately and it seems like something that might bother traditional stand-up comedians.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But uhm, not, uh, if you, like, I think if you're a stand-up comedian, then you just stand there with a microphone and do comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you can still be a comedian and entertainer, but I do think if you're considered a stand-up comedian, then, you know, that's your thing. But if you're, uh, you know, you can still be an entertainer. Where's the line? What do you think? Can you rock? What do you mean? Like I do on stage?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I mean, you don't gotta stand still, but you do gotta be standing. Even people that sit down, I'm kinda like, if you're a legend, you're almost like, alright, you can do it. But I mean, I think if, you know, if we're stand-up comedians, we gotta be, we gotta be standing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying you can't do it, but personally, I'm not going to be doing it. Well, that's what I would say.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I was told that, you know, James Gregory would used to, he, he once hit a guy's puppet that used a puppet and the guy, you know, couldn't do his act because he lost his puppet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I can, you know, I've lost my voice and still did my show. And I thought it was a very good show. I did a weekend recently with, with, I lost my voice.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, so I still, I did four shows in, in, uh, Spokane, uh, not feeling very good. And, uh, I think I crushed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think for me, it's like some cities I go to, something happens and I'm like, oh, I got something. This is great. Uh, but other times it's like, yeah, I mean, I,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me, I've walked around Columbus, uh, and I like Columbus. I don't find there to be anything particularly funny about it. I do like the city, but as I'm walking around, I'm like, there's nothing really


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it's like, you know, you go to like a real run down place. I don't want to be trash in the city. Right. Like your city's crap. You know that, right? Because people will like it, but it just, some people won't and it just, I don't like it. It doesn't feel good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. And I thought these jokes are going to kill. And then they just stare at me. You start doing research on the city and then you're like, you know, yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, well. Yeah, I think we all want that. Okay, well, uhm, I'll just go, I'll go on with, uh, Jasmine Lozano. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've noticed that Brian has been corrected for putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable multiple times. My mom does this too. She says six flags, uh, instead of six flags. I don't, I don't get, I don't know how to read that. And after correcting her for decades, I've just given up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know how to do it, but yeah, okay. So she, she not a lot of, like, she just really wants to let you know there's flags there, but it doesn't really matter how many. I could see me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't, yes, yeaah, I guess I get it, like, uh, the, uh, thing, uh, Foo Fighters. That's right. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hanging out and everybody, everybody is across from me. Everybody, all the flight attendants are like acting like they'd never seen a dog before. Was it a friendly dog that it was fine? It was fine. Okay. But I'm like, my sinuses were just on fire. Really? The whole time. Just from a dog being there? Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause I don't bomb in the traditional sense at all anymore, but I've also, uh, invented a wave and a, I say we're having a good time, which helps me a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have some situations, like you're talking about corporate gig, where it's like, it's a tough situation. But even then, I'm not bummed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I, I got so much material now that I've developed over the years to where I'm like, alright, this is not working. Maybe I, sometimes I think I get a little, can get a little weird.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whereas like people know me, they buy tickets to come see me. And then I'm in a corporate environment where it's like, there's a chance that nobody or only a few people in the audience know who I am. And now they're like, what's this guy doing? So I'd go back to some of the older, uh, you know, stuff. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well the buyers, uh, I find in those situations know your comedy, love you, they enjoy you, so they reach out and they get you hired and then, you know, you just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just dealing with a room full of people that may not even be fans of comedy. And oftentimes a corporate gig, it's like they're in there listening to people talk all day. So even though you're funnier at talking than the rest of the people, they're still tired of hearing talking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Am I crazy for wanting to pursue this? Yes. I say this, if you have kids that are young, yes. If you're single, go for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're not gonna make any money. It took me, I mean, really from, from the time I went full time, it took...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, four years to make any kind of money, but I was already doing it, you know, six years prior to going full time. So you're looking at 10 years before I actually was making any money with comedy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I guess 40, you might not have a little children yet. Yeah, so, yeah, Bo's also, I think, retired, uh, and has made himself a ton of money, probably. I don't know his bank account. Probably made himself a ton of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And his wife, uh, comes to a lot of his shows. She's like very supportive. So that's a big part of it too. Is your, is your, is your wife like into it and does she understand how much you'll be gone?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I'll tell you this, I uh, I've done shows all over the place and people sometimes will go, some of the wait staff will go, uh, oh there's people in the audience dressed like you. And then I'll make a joke about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then get no real reaction, and then after the show, find out they're not dressed like me, that's just how they dress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but yeaah, I mean- This Cosmo. But once in a while, people do dress like me, and I am into it. I wouldn't mind if the whole audience was dressed like me, I'd go, well, at least these guys are my fans, and let's get into it. It's about to get weird in this show, cause you're into what I do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yeaah. Oh, he even had the belt with the name on it. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't, I don't know that there would be a...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, if you dress like you, you're like almost dressing like me, but you know, you got a hat and a beard. Take some of those leaves you've been collecting. Maybe turn the hoodie around backwards, put some popcorn in the hoodie. That was an old reference. Were you saying like a fat suit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With two kids, and it's great. I love it. I do love it. But, uh, yeah, I mean, it's like, oh, I'm tired. She's like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now she's like, I'm tired of the new, you've been out hanging out with your buddies, having a blast, having a blast. And I've been here and she's like, I love being with the kids, but I'm, you know, you need a break every now and then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a spot on the couch, but. A spot on the couch? That's where you take all your videos. I've seen your spot on the couch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Before I got married, I had this set up going. I had, uh, I had a couch and I had taken all the back cushions off and then I had a king size blanket that I would put on it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I could, I could lay on one part of the king size blanket and then pull the other side over me. So I created like a little pocket and then I would have a pillow and then I had a wireless keyboard and mouse where I had a, and then I had a big monitor for a computer and I could just kick back, watch YouTube videos and you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, and just for hours. And that was before I was married, before I had kids. And I could just do that. So.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe you're right about sitting on a couch, but the whole laying, watching TV on a couch, I mean that is where it's at. Okay. And I can, this was back when YouTube was great. I mean you watch, you watch some, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean, that's, you know, I learned a lot of things. Right, right.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I do want to do that now. I've done it with cars. I do it with music. But I've had a lot of couches too. I've lived in a lot of places.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, to some degree, yeah. Growing up, I lived in a two-bedroom trailer with four people altogether.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then I had it for a couple of years in that trailer and then I took it to Charleston and it moved with me several places and this was when I was an alcoholic and I was living a rough life and a lot of things happened to that mattress and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I, uh, I moved from one place to another and it flew off the back of the truck, landed on a bridge, got ran over. I picked it up. It was all been up and I kept that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I bet I had, what was that? That would have been 2012. I bet I had it for, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna say I'm on the right end of that bell curve for sure. Yeaah, I would only say 13 because I'm gone a good bit of days. Yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. Sounds great. I would like that. I got a small recliner, uhm, you know, that I like, but a nice, thinking about it, I may go get one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have a Lexus SUV that a lot of people in the, uh, Nate land, uh, Facebook group think I have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, you know, the Rated Red people had the Lexus all wired up with cameras.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't even like to eat a lot of fried chicken, but I do do it though. Hello fre- Hello folks to Hello Fresh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With HelloFresh, you get fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That is why it's America's number one meal kit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whether you're trying to save money, eat better, or stress less, HelloFresh is there to help you do all three with fresh ingredients and chef-crafted recipes at a price you'll like, delivered right to your door. Do you try to sit down? Do you actually, do you actually try to sit down and eat dinner around a table?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about those nights when your schedule is packed? Turn on HelloFresh's lineup of quick and easy meals, including their 15 minute recipes designed to help minimize meal time stress. That's even quicker than delivery. Wow. Hannah and I love HelloFresh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like how clean it is. No microwaves need it. There you go. All fresh and home cooked meals. I do like that. I hate a microwave. I'm not into it. Right. You know, and uh, you know, maybe you like it because it's quick. You're like, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who cares about my overall health, well-being, I'll put stuff in the microwave. Yeah, yeah. I like when you don't have to do it. Right, right. And if it's, and if it's as good as HelloFresh is,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Spoil it by using the microwave. Take a little time, guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Go to HelloFresh.com slash NateLandFree and use code NateLandFree for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, yeah, I think so. I mean, I took some time to figure out where I want the TV. We don't have a TV in our living room. We do have a bonus room where we have the playroom and we don't, we don't have a TV in the living room and we do spend a lot of time there where me and the family sit in this room and we talk to each other and we don't watch TV.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then we do have, you know, a room with a TV. And, uh, and I had a spot. Now, it's gotta stay there because I drilled giant holes in the wall to hang a TV hanger. And I never wanted to move it. But, uh, yeah, I mean, I like, uh, I like the TV to be in a hot spot, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, but, but let's go back to that one for a second. If you have that view, don't be watching TV. Exactly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes I'll check into a hotel and there'll be like a desk and a couch and I'll be like, oh, this is awesome. I got a lot of places to sit and then I spend the entire weekend sitting on the bed. Of course. Now, what do you think about this chair?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is, uh, I think they call this a chaise lounge. And it's, uh, this is not a particularly good design.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is what I think was happening. They are on some kind of website for hotel furniture and they're clicking along and they go, ooh, this is on sale. And then they're 50% off here. And they're like, oh, we could get a lot of these. They're like, it looks good. I don't think that looks good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Middle of the road, I would say middle of the road.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, someone to come change the TV. Uh, you know, like the old school days, my dad had a little intercom at his house and he would, he had a satellite dish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there was a, he had remotes for everything, but there was one button that he would have to push to go turn the satellite dish off to go back to regular TV that he didn't have a button for. So he would hit the intercom, he'd go, hey, come in the living room. And I'd come in, he goes, push that button up there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it's all about. It is about the bit of the germs too. You know, it's like, Hey, you're like, you know, when, when somebody hits it, it's not only is it a punishment that you have to drink the beer, but you also, you know, you have to drink the germs, you know, be better at the game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we would always put it in its own solo cup of water. Sure. And it's running around. Yeah, that's how you clean it off. For half a second, maybe take it out. Yeah, that's how you clean it off. Yeah. There was no COVID back then when we were doing that. Sure. I'll tell you that. Sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But TV has gone through this evolution to where at some point, you know, TV used to be in a big wooden box that sat on the floor. So it was kind, it was almost like the resolute desk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was that heavy and now, you know, it just can hang on the wall. So it might've lost its furniture status. That's true.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My mom had her Christmas village on top of the TV. You know, she had set up all her little houses.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't think pinball machine's furniture, but there's something about a pool table. I get it. You got the wooden, you got wooden, you got leather pockets, and... Or you think you have a nice pool table. A nice pool table, yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] World leaders come, you make decisions based on who wins the ping pong match.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I use, we have a treadmill. We have a treadmill at home that we use. I mean we love it. We love our treadmill. We use it all the time. You put it on a desk in front of it or anything? We have a TV. We have a TV that's too hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had someone message me about how much they were disappointed in my special that I had glorified cigarettes. And I'm like, do you not really get the irony of what I'm saying here? I mean, I'm, I'm pretending as if I'm glorifying cigarettes, but I'm also being like, I quit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, if I thought cigarettes were so great, would I have quit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I like doing it, but obviously it's horrible for you. Of course. It made me feel awful. Of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know. Do you know that we put out that clip of the green beans, the Western Southern green beans, and people were arguing about how much they eat the green beans at a buffet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm not saying you don't have some sometimes, but you don't go, you know what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Golden Corral has really good green beans. They're not the star of the show. Yeaah, I think I'd like to pop in there and get the green beans. Exactly. And they're like, why would they, why would they refill in them? And I'm like, I don't know, over time maybe they get dehydrated, they dry out in the bottom and you gotta pour some more in there. It's like, don't try to argue with the jokes, you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This weekend, I'm gonna be part of the Grand Old Opry, part of the, I wanna be part of the showcase of the Opry. Sometimes I've pitched the Opry before and people will think that it's my show. I'll be part of the Opry show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, but then coming weeks, you know, I'll be in February, I'll be in Milwaukee at the improv. I'll be in Tulsa, Oklahoma and Indianapolis. Nice. So just if you're in those areas, it's going to be hot. It's going to be fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Listen, ask this though, will you be taking your shirt off in Florida?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'd like to say comedy catch, great green room experience. Great green room and Danielle is an excellent swimmer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ever feel awkward though, when you're out there selling your shirts and there's some different size people and of course you have to ask of course what size you want and kind of pulling them toward a certain way. Well, you never, you don't have to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's right. It was fun to start a controversy and then just leave for a week and let y'all deal with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who is that for? Are you talking about us taking a shirt off?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had family friends that were, uh, softball coaches and he used to have.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, uh, a hand sign to tell his players to tie their shoes, just to run the clock out and you could eat like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 20 minutes off, just people tying their shoes. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With the children's leagues, they have like a hard cut a lot of times and there's like a time limit. Just tie your shoes, take as much time as you need.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Not as much as you'd think. I mean, uh, two pounds. Is that a lot? I would say ounces. So be regular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I think weight is not, not the question here. Uh, you should go for like surface area.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. If you order steak. Oh, okay. I think so, right? Maybe three of those.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So like, uh, 96 ounce. I mean, what's the question is if I could, if I had to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Brian, I gotta dude, Brian, Brian's like, he'll find a way to send me like a 100 by 200 version. Can you ever get a full size resolution photo?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] With my computer, I can somehow generate a higher quality version of an image that's already been corrupted nine times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He pulled his image up and I mean the image is the size of a postage stamp. So I'm zoomed in, you know, 500 times. So it's just not a good quality photo and that's on me. No, I mean.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. So. So how many pounds is that? A little over two pounds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If he'd have thrown up with that and made the whole thing invalid. Yeah. So keeping it down was part of the. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, that was good. Thank you to Zocdoc. We can now find and book in person or telemedicine appointments for medical or dental care. That is helpful for people that are on the go or work different hours like we do. Are you that one friend in the friend group that loves to treat yourself? It's okay. We all do it. Zocdoc is where you can do that for medicine. It's the place where you can find and book


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tens of thousands of top tier doctors, all with verified patient reviews. So don't settle, go for the best and find the right doctor for you. With ZocDoc, you've got more options than you know. It is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The typical wait time to see a doctor is just between 24 to 72 hours you can even find.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, is there going to be tension between me and you the rest of the episode, Brian?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what I was sent was, I mean, this is a 82 kilobyte. I mean, this could not be a smaller image. So I don't know what happened along the way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're right. You're right. The new Beyonce song, the Beyonce song that came out last night in the Superbowl looked at the writer's credits written by Beyonce and Brian Bates. Did you see that? Did anybody tag in that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No. Evidently there's a songwriter named Brian Bates and he's writing songs with Beyonce.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But when you click on the info for a Beyonce song, that's not what you expect to see.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just start watching all these other movies based on just that flimsy recommendation. I've been hyping up the greatest movie of all time for three years now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is the ninth most viewed Netflix series of all time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't been here a while. I was in Chicago. I had a great weekend in Chicago added a show, which I've never really had to do pretty cool. Three shows in one day, which is pretty exhausting. It feels dumb to say, but, uh, yeah, thank you to everyone that came out to Chicago. And then I was dating this weekend. It was great. So thank you to everybody.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I did have a lot of people after the shows this weekend tell me that they're like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it was just people just trying to be nice to us and compliment us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought you meant like the drink in old fashioned.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Delicious. That side card, I mean, it's not out of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can just, uh, just a Coke soda, whatever, right? Yeah. That's, that's insane, dude.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was open for Dusty once in Minnesota and this lady came up to us before the show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That would be, I think it was her birthday and she wanted like, make fun of, just make fun of the birthday girl, the bad skin. And Dusty was like, it's not really the kind of show I do, just so you know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you feel like you can be prepared for everything, or is there just a moment of like, you got the kid, now you're like, well...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Carol Sullivan, her show, the Nashville daytime show, did you just do it recently?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But this was like, it was something about a fair and it said circus themed, but it said circle themed. That just came up. She just corrected it to circus. So you have to have a little context of what you're talking about.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] None of these are good. What would you say? I wouldn't say any of these. I'm saying it's, it's a tough name no matter how you say it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The fact or the, the fact that it's a pretty boring story for why they call it that. Yeah. No, nothing about you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a good move if you're a, if you live alone and you're scared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, buddy up to a local restaurant and they'll keep an eye out on you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] How did you get my address? That's what I was about to ask. How did they know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it depends on where you're going. Like some of the casinos we've done together, that's all sad. Yeah. Yeah. The Vegas casino could be fun. Yeah. Yeah. People go and people having a good time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just people, plate in one hand, cigarette in the other hand.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the oldest person ever to have lived.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 116 years old, that's verified by modern, verified oldest people. In our era, 116 years old. So you're saying nobody is doing it right right now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oldest verified man that living right now is in Venezuela, 114 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I respect the people that think we put that much thought into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's, that's one of those, you can say anything, you can say anything's delicious.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you're a comp- that's one of those pufferies, the term. You can say anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can say it's amazing. Those are all just terms you can use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's no objective standard of something tasty, but I think healthy is a term that is regulated. Like you can't, you can't claim Doritos are healthy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Are you eating more cookies because of that? That's where they get you only twice as many cookies.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And every few hundred years, new technology comes and uproots the industry and you have to rethink everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're still eating the same kind. You can only do it sometimes a year. It's very seasonal.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just stopped calling him sweetie real quick, he hit one of you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have you ever woken up with a cockadoodledoo? Is that ever you've ever started a day like that?