[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's true actually. It's cause they pick these like very sort of, uhm, is it like, is it Christian or Catholic names? They're all like Catholic. They're all saint names, right? So like St. Christopher and St. Anthony and St. Pauli.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they're like, no, no, we're just going to keep calling you potato. Yeah, that's the thing with nicknames. You can't turn up and dictate what your nickname is going to be. It's a natural thing, right? People just start calling you something, you know, like they might call you butt breath or like, you know, even worse, jizz breath or something like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If I had my way, I would want to be known as Stone Cold Killer, but, I don't know, maybe that's asking too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cold killer. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, like I said, you can't pick your own nicknames so that people just.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now you're talking. Maybe, maybe that, maybe we can apply some of these to the name of our podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, we can change the C to be like a sense sign as well, you know, like colours and scents, yea, be sweet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit. Are there any L's in there? I mean we could have a pound sign somewhere too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Don't cold podcast. I can live with that. I don't know if it's, is it taken already though? That's the other thing. There's a million podcasts, right? We don't want to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about like, like a word with an exclamation mark and then colon the podcast. So you have a word like potato exclamation mark the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We are pretty well, you're not a dad, but me and me and Pflacx are dads. So, you know, we are here making a podcast as dads. So maybe the prophecy has come to fruition. Now we're two dads, two dads, two dads, two dads, one guy, one non dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But then one day, Lewis, you might become a dad and then we can just change it to three dads! The podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least nine months, what have you been up to? No internet at your new flat. Does that mean that you've just been like out on the prowl, you know? On the prowl. Planting some seeds.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a, that's a good, the Brindley prospect. I like that. I like that a lot actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait, we haven't figured out the title yet. We were so close, too. We can't move on yet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm gonna be exactly like Paul Reiser from Mad About You, which he's better known for in his role Mad About You. And I'm gonna be that Playboy Dad.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. That's crazy. Fuck, that fits you so well too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, yeah, T-Force for sure. Like that's the best nickname. Holy shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a fine line with, with nicknames though, cause sometimes they feel really forced, you know, like have you ever met a group of people who really force the nicknames big time and play up to them all the time and, but it's not, it's, it feels forced and it's not very funny or cute or anything. Like I've had that in the past. I can't think of anything specific, but I just remember


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At times in various jobs working with people who were really into the job.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Didn't really have much of a social life outside of the job, so they sort of like used the job as their social life too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they would really just like over egg it on like the, like the familiarity, the nicknames and stuff like that. And I'd always leave at the end of the day thinking like, fuck those nerds. Like I don't want to fucking.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Over egg and nickname and be all familiar with those guys at all. And it just like left a sour taste in my mouth.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Awkward sometimes. It can be, yeaah. I mean, but equally, sometimes you, you start a job somewhere.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you hook up with a couple of people or, or there's, you know, one or two people that you work with who are just really on your fucking level. Like they're just somehow it's just like the stars and the moon have aligned or something. And all these people are like people that you should have just been friends with your whole life because like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and then they'll be laughing because that's the shit that they find funny. Killing a guy is hilarious. Irony, not so much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well listen here, rewinding a little bit, back to the, uhm, TEDx talk about the 4am wakeups.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, a true story here, my best childhood friend, his dad, uh, used to go to bed at like five o'clock in the afternoon, early evening. He'd go to bed at five o'clock so that he could wake up at like three, four in the morning. And the reason he did this, we figured out later on, is that he didn't really like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what he would do is he would just skip it. He'd just go to bed at like five. Everybody's still up and whatever. And then the kids would go to bed and they'd be sleeping and while they're like sound asleep, nobody's even considering even remotely waking up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This dude would get up at like 3, 4 in the morning, whole house to himself, yea, just sit there fucking smoking a carton of cigarettes, play some Civilization before he went to work and stuff. That sounds like the fucking


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's pretty bad. It's, it's, it's, it's enterprising, but yeah, I mean, like, it's basically just taking a shit on your family from a great height as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. Yeah, I know some people, some people seem to like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like you can tell that they've got kids themselves and they hate all children and they sort of try to impose their


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I don't fully hate my kids yet. You know, like they're still young and stuff. Like we haven't gotten to that point yet. I'm not considering a partition or anything like that, you know, like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just sitting in my living room, admiring the Christmas tree, hubby's still asleep, coffee's brewing, the dog is licking my hand. Man, I'm so glad I didn't have kids. How do you know though?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, nannies and stuff would be useful, right? Like, I don't know, they sort of like, I don't know, like if you guys, well you probably don't. I mean, Lewis, I don't think you read like women's magazines or whatever, but like, there's a very...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Aren't really wearing clothes either, which is yeaah. No, but like a very common thing is, a very common thing in like some of these magazines is that they'll take somebody like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And they'll say like, oh, you know, she's had two kids and she's, she's a mom. She's super, super busy and stuff. And it's like, yeah, she probably is.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But, like, they have all the fucking resources and help in the world as well. It's true, yeaah. This is somebody who gives birth and then two hours later is in front of cameras, like, in full makeup and everything, smiling and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and you know, they have nannies, they have help, they have money, they have resources, they have all this shit. They still have like all these responsibilities and like a job to do and everything too. And...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your average mom does not live like that, right? Like P-Flax is saying, your average mom is like up in the middle of the night, just looks like a ghost, is tired, like it's a full, full, full, full time job. It's like the hardest fucking job in the whole world, like dealing with kids all the time. It's crazy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, no, but the fact is if you have help, if you have resources, if you have a system whereby you're not the sole sort of like doing everything, uh, and, and it sort of rolling on and impacting other things like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And money does that, right? Like, boarding school is definitely a thing. You know, you just send your fucking kids off and you don't see them for a couple years pretty much while they're at boarding school. I just don't get it. Even if I had the money, I wouldn't do that. No, no, never.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, like you want them to have opportunities and you want them to like excel and get ahead in life and stuff like that. But at the same time, you want to be there for it too. Like, I think if I sent my kids to a boarding school, I would relocate to live close to that school so that they could sort of come home in the evenings. Dig a tunnel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a generational thing though, right? Like, well not, not so much. It's not strictly a generational thing. Like, uhm, it's not like a straight cut thing. Like, if you had a really good relationship with your mom, that's pretty cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was definitely like a partition wall between like adults and children, right? Like it was like go outside, go play outside, go do this, go do that or whatever. You know, like I've just come home from a factory job for like 10 hours.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There's a lot more common ground, a lot more common interests. There's like a lot of media that's like shared between adults and children and stuff. And I don't know if all of that was in place when we were necessarily younger, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is the headmaster uhm, does he happen to be clown Hitler? Because that would be perfect actually.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm of course, trisexual as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The Triforce, exclamation mark, the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, you might be, you might turn up and just say like, wouldn't it be like hilarious if just Frank just blew me?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More so men. You have to have, there has to be some things in place to prevent men from having sex all the time. Cause that's all they would do. Like if given the chance, men would just be having sex with whatever, whenever, all the damn time. All the time. It's like, it's like an impulse, right? Women, not so much. Women can like sort of take it or leave it, right? They're just sort of like, yeah, whatever. You know, I just want to like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stick your dick in the bun. Put some ketchup on it. Tempted. Yeah. Hey look, there's an oil tanker there in that industrial state. Oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Gaming news? So uhm, let's hear it. What have you guys been playing this week? Do you have any gaming news? Bearing in mind,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're like two dads and a soon-to-be dad, maybe, depending on whether he gets the internet at his flat or not, his new flat. Uhm, we're kinda like behind the times on games, I would say. Like, we sorta stick to what we know. Don't tend to really play stuff as it comes out, right? Like, do we agree on that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's a, that's an interesting idea. Uhm, I listened to a little bit of that and understood very little of it. Uhm, what I would like to say about game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm done. You know, I enjoyed that. It was a really good experience. I'm done. It's like putting down a book. Yeah. Not every game has to have a ton of replayability, I don't think. Like, you know, you sit down, if a game, you know, 10, 15 hours and you're done, you know, that's pretty good. Like, I'd pay 30 pence for that. Oh, blood. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well I'm glad you told me that, now I'm looking forward to that. I remember playing like the original Wolfenstein on my friend's dad's computer, like back in the day. Uhm, and we just thought it was like the greatest thing ever. And pretty much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that's a natural way to play a game. I mean, that's pretty much how I play a game. You know, you just do what you feel like doing at the time. You know, you just roll with it. Doesn't have to be perfect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, he had like a spider suit so he could grapple around and stuff and, you know, I always kept him back, but we were on a mission where we had to go and, um, retrieve like an alien artifact from a box or whatever. There's two turns left to do it, so I had to bring him up. Okay? So I brought him up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Grappled him up to like a freeway overpass thing, he was behind a car, he was in a really good spot, you know, he was like getting some snipes and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then a faceless popped up behind him because I'd forgotten to do the battle scan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the faceless walks over to him, swipes, blows up the car. So he's down to like three health or whatever. Uh, and then like, I think part of like the freeway collapsed or something and he fell down and died. And I was, I was actually heartbroken. Like I'm sitting in my kitchen on my laptop with my face in both of my hands going Tariq


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You're on the memorial wall and I'm in a bit of a shitty spot because he was like my sort of long range sniper.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was paired with a gunslinger because like the synergy there is like pretty good, you know gunslinger.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man, yeaah, so we lost T-Force, he didn't make it, but the show must go on, right? Like, you know, everybody's gonna remember Tarik, but, you know, a new star will rise to take his place, and, you know, we're rolling with it, and it's fucking sweet, and that game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She was just sort of drinking tea and half-listening.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My wife is not into gaming either, but she hears me talk about it so much that she has probably better general gaming knowledge than most. So like, she'll meet up with like her friends or whatever and like her friend might be like, oh god, my husband's playing this, this fucking game all the time. He's like, oh, what game is he playing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] World of Warcraft or something. Oh yeah, World of Warcraft! Yeah, my husband used to play that all the time. Yeah, I loved it. Oh god, he spent like, woah, like 200 years worth of time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, I couldn't even talk to him. I'd have a conversation with the back of his head for like four years because he was just like so engrossed in that fucking video game and stuff. Like she can actually have these sort of like mini game conversations with like other wives and moms.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not so bad though, right? Cause like sometimes you're like, Oh yeah, you know, my, my friend's husband, um, didn't spend time with them on Sunday because he like went to watch the rugby at the pub or whatever. And I'm always like, Oh God, yeah, he sounds like really shitty. Cause you know, on a Sunday I'm always here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe not so much in the evening because I'm playing XCOM 2 and not talking to anybody, but like during the day I'm here, right? So that's okay. She's like, uhm, I guess so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's a good hobby to have though, right? It's like not too expensive, you know, you're in the house, you're not like always present, but you are sort of in the house and like available and stuff, you know, you're not away, you're not getting drunk, you're not like spending a lot of money.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh man. No, the gaming life is the best though, it's like so good. So, Wolfenstein, XCOM 2, period, I guess you've just been playing a lot of Dota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I think that's the one thing that I, well, it's not that I dislike about Dota, like I respect the fact that, you know, there are intense games, you have to be there, you have to be concentrating, you know, like, you have to contribute to your team, but I think, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just the type of gamer I am, I can't commit to it, and I find it hard to like have a long term commitment to that, where I have to have like 45 minutes to an hour of uninterrupted gameplay that I can't just be like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Cause I'm pretty casual. Yeah, yeah. At heart, you know, like I like to just dick around in games, like I enjoy like game mechanics, I enjoy stories and stuff like that, and I think that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I get to a point in Dota where it's just too much. Like it's just, it feels like hard work after a while. And I can't justify just like, like completely shutting down for an hour at a time and doing nothing else sort of thing. Like even when I'm playing something like XCOM or whatever, like I'll frequently just like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But an hour uninterrupted is too much for me, like I just can't do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, we got questions. Go then, just do the questions. Sure. Okay. Are we done with games? We're not talking about games anymore? No, no, we don't go. Do we want to talk about the division at all? Like, who's his favorite subject?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Part of me feels like yeaah, and then the other part of me feels like nah, it's not like for me sort of thing. But there's certain game mechanics that I think are in that game that appeal to me, but I don't know if I want to like, I don't want that game to just consume my life and it be the only thing I play for like a couple of weeks because


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, there's four quick questions, okay? The first one comes from a chap called Alexander Rutkowski, and he asks, out of the three of us, who is the saltiest?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's probably me right now. I'd say Lewis generally is probably saltier.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I tend to do that, yeaah. So like, if things are stacked against me, big time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have been known to get a little bit salty, though, like, in playing Dota, like, Dota's probably my saltiest, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now this is, this is perfect into the next question, because the next question comes from a chap or maybe a chapet called Bolt Golt, who asks all three of us, why are we so bad at playing games? I mean, you could, you could fabricate a case around that. I mean, there's probably a lot of good reasons why we're apparently bad at games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Personally, I don't think I'm actually bad at games. I think what you see from me is, uhm, gameplay with commentary, and I think if you try to realistically sit down,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you play a game for an hour and talk the entire time, you're not going to play optimally. You just can't. You're not focused on the game. You're trying to think of things to talk about at the same time. I think you're making up excuses. I think we've given a lot of reasons in this podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You might slow down a bit. Your APM might suffer though. This is a thing. Fuck, I know guys in this office who seem older.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It is a bit boring. It's kind of fun though because it reminds you of being a kid again. That's like one fun thing about having kids, isn't it? You relive parts of your childhood through them again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the social aspect of school. I didn't like having to sit in a classroom and, you know, be sort of taught stuff or whatever, but I liked going to a place that everybody else had to go to and just like horsing around at school and like get into tensions and stuff like that. It's pretty fun.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't too bad. I mean, it was, it was bad at the time. At the time it was like, fuck, I hate school, I want to get out and stuff, but honestly,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well not now so much because I get to play video games for a living, but if I had to work, if it was a toss up between working in some shitty office job or some shitty retail job or living my entire life like in high school, I would totally go back to high school. That would be weird though.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, teachers, yeaah, they just like go into the staff room and just like try to cook themselves every day. Yeaah, pretty much. Drink like coffee that's got like a ton of whiskey in it and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I just wanted to say one more thing about this, being bad at games. A lot of the time as well, I mean, you can't judge somebody's ability to play a game based on the first time they've ever played that game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I mean? Like, nobody sits down and plays the game for the first time and is actually good at it. Like, it doesn't really work that way. And a lot of the time, like, if somebody posts a YouTube video or whatever, it's the first time they've played the game. Because they want that experience to be fresh and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you can't really judge. I'm just saying. It's not an excuse. It's just a fact.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, Harry Klein, uh, is the next person with the question, who, it's a little bit of a weird one. If you can remember any games from the early 2000s. There's a few, I've thought about this because I sort of looked at the question some time ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That was a good game. Man. Early 2000s for me would have been Planetside. I came out in early 2000s. That was pretty fun. Yeah, yeah. I used to play that a lot. Planetside. Shit. Star Wars Galaxies. I used to play the shit out of that game. Fuck, I loved it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was fun. It was fun up until they introduced like the sort of, uhm, it went through this sort of phase where it was a cool game because it wasn't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There were a lot of things in the game that just weren't thought out, but they were just in the game and people sort of worked around them and did stuff and it was cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they tried to make it into like a serious MMO because wow came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So all of a sudden, you had all of these characters littered across all these different planets that had


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was a very structured game, but of course it was very popular.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We had a very Nintendo house up until PlayStation 2 came out and then it was like we had a PlayStation 2


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes though you go back to those old games and you remember them a lot more fondly.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Maybe like the Brindley, uhm, dynasty or whatever it is, maybe it begins with Ben.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who knows? Who knows? Uhm, alright, listen, one more question and then we can, we can wrap up, okay? I know Lewis, Lewis, we're holding Lewis here against his will at this point, but, I mean, they're, they're in the format.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] An hour and two and an hour and a half, yeaah. An hour and two and an hour and a half? Yeaah, we're on an hour and a half now pretty much, so, we're almost done, don't worry. Alright, the last question here is from Sean Matthews, and he asks, what books are you all reading at the moment, and what is your favorite?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For me personally, I'm not reading any books right now. Uh, my favorite book of all time though, if you wanna know, is Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What was that fucking Michael J. Fox movie where he goes to Vietnam and all that shit happens and he doesn't agree with it. And he comes back and he's like jaded as fuck. Is that what it's like, Louis?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. It's a bit like the Mad Max universe, like really dark and fucking twisted and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like a good battle too. I watched like the, the most recent, um, series of the, of Game of Thrones. I was like really late watching it and there was that fucking, you know, when they go to rescue the people to the north from that big town.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Holy shit, that was a good battle. I was like, fucking edge of my seat the whole time, I couldn't believe it. I loved it. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, well Lewis, the moment that you've been waiting for, for so long now, you ready? Yep. You can do your outro now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're at Sips Underscore, at Yogscast Lewis, and at Pirian Flanks on Twitter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come on, it's a lot more so than being like, oh, should I need a shovel?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're playing the no quitters mod, right? And so there are some differences and we originally started off with this dynamic turn timer.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And if you're having a really good game, it takes forever because you've got a lot to manage. If you're having a bad game, you're probably tabbed out and doing something else. So it's like, can you win your turn? Oh yeah, sorry. But this like a minute has passed and we had the same old technical problems that there always are with multiplayer Civ 5.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So yeah, we, a lot of the time we were just waiting for the turn times to end and then in between sessions we went back and changed it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am hoping so nothing's been announced, but I am hopeful that I'll be going. And the problem is you generally don't find out until very close to the time. So no talent's been announced. Nobody knows for sure if they're going. You can only sort of live in hope. So yeah, I mean, it's like two weeks away. Um, last time for last year, I was out there for.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, five weeks I was in the states. When will I know? Hopefully in the next two or three weeks I'll get it confirmed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I always gone for ages, yeah. No, cause I went out there for TI, like the quality, the group stage and, and then the main event. And then I had three weeks, like, there was like a 10 day gap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's the thing. I had 10 days. Like the thing is I was meeting Mrs. F and the kids in Florida. Like I was going to pick them up from the airport and everything like that, but that wasn't for 10 days.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, I've been to Seattle, obviously, and I've been to Florida and New York and, you know, New England. I've been all around there and stuff, but uhm, and Pennsylvania and stuff, but I hadn't been in the middle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it does sound good, doesn't it? But think about this, I then flew from Seattle to Florida, which takes me neatly, directly in line, across where I would have driven.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, it's fucking flat as shit. That's all it is. It's super, super flat and farmy. And I just thought, Jesus, this would have been boring. Cause it's literally, there's a road and I've been flying for half an hour and I'm still over that road and it's just perfectly straight and there's nothing. I'm thinking this might seem fun at first.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why did you just message me, private message me on Steam saying fuck Fargo, fuck Denver? Why did you do that? Why are you saying that and then...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Take on the movie completely. Cause I was like, Oh my God, how did I never hear about this? And then they were like, yeah, we were just lying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I just thought it was like, wow, that's weird. It's really interesting the way that played with the audience. I was thinking, holy shit, this is real.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you remember the, uh, the piracy, the anti, not the anti-piracy thing, it was the, the age, uh, verification at the start of that game?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But what we did was, I mean it was multiple choice, so all you had to do was write down the questions and the answers and then just toss them up. Guess the answer, write down the right ones. We fucking beat it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The original SimCity? Yeah, I think they did. No, I think it was always Maxis. I'm sure it was always Maxis. Oh, Maxis, yeah, but I'm sure Sierra had something to do there, I'm probably wrong.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I like that game. You know the guy who coded that is that, uh, that AI wizard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's his name? AI wizard. Oh god, what's his name?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Okay, so he worked on Evil Geniuses, that was one of the games that he worked on. Because he made this game called The Republic, which was meant to be this huge sort of sprawling, intelligent game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but it was really, it was really meant to be like something. Oh cool. So yeah, so he did that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and then he did Evil Genius, which was good, and then he stopped in video games, switched to Cognitive Neuroscience, and he co-founded DeepMind Technologies, which then became DeepMind, which beat, you know, the Alpha, the Go guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, cause I always thought the AI wasn't too bad in Evil Geniuses and now you know why. Cause there was a genius doing the coding for it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course I can drive. I've never seen you drive a car. I don't even believe you own a car.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that was actually one of the things that I was thinking of doing post TI last year was my two of my buddies were going to meet me in LA. We were going to go to a couple of parties and we were going to drive to New Orleans. So we were going to go like that. LA to Vegas is like a classic drive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were gonna do that, hang out in Vegas for a few days, drive to New Orleans, hang out there for a bit. And then they'd fuck off home and I'd go on to Florida.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they didn't trademark that. Shit, really? So they had to rename it. How the fuck, why would, what? They just didn't. So when the game HeroQuest came along, the board game HeroQuest, which I think was like Mattel or Hasbro, they copyrighted it and- I had that


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, it's a very, very funny video. This big bearded Aussie guy, pointing out every single thing that he loves about Heroquest and what a great game it is. It's brilliant. It's absolutely brilliant. You've got to watch it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think the thing about America and especially when it comes to decisions about the police or the military and stuff like that is that it is actually, it's hard to argue with the fact that if you're gonna be a cop,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And there's a potential that you might have to shoot people. You should really have a shitload of guns so that if it comes down to it, your police officer's not gonna get killed. Like if you're gonna send people out saying, okay, you guys are going out, you'll be like a hundred miles from anywhere on a motorcycle, you don't want to be just giving them a fucking pea shooter.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it all, it all comes around because uhm, police just used to have like a fucking revolver, right? Yeah. That's all they used to have, just their little six-shot revolver, pew pew pew, and then it's like...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's the, uh, but I just feel like the American response to any kind of threat is, well, I'm not going out there without a fucking machine gun. Well, what if they have machine guns? You're right. We better have a tank.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it's hard, it is hard to argue against that, like it's, I mean the thing is, you know, Canada and England are, I think, quite similar in a lot of ways, in that we're just, or Britain I should say, are kind of like, well, we don't really need guns. If we need them, we'll worry about it when we need them. But not everybody walks around carrying a fucking gun in the UK. No.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, this is one of those arguments that's gonna run and run, and it's a huge debate about a couple of sentences that were written


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like 200 years ago in the, in the, you know, the, the, the, the, the papers that they, uh, you know, the, with the constitution and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They just got a gun, they've got one on their hip or their car has got a gun rack on, or you go into Walmart and there's fucking a whole aisle of guns and ammo and stuff. And I'm just like, wow, it really is such a big thing. And I just wonder, is it, is it just that?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like is it just the fact that guns are so commonplace, and so usual, that it's like, I'm gonna argue with this person, I'm gonna get my fucking gun out, and I'm gonna show him who's boss.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean lots of people in this country that I know have never shot a gun, never really seen a gun, and when they see one they're like, holy shit it's a gun, you know, like when we go to the airport, that's the only time you really see people. The airport and outside embassies, like outside the US embassy you see guys with guns, and outside the, you know, at Heathrow and stuff. Yeah, Heathrow airport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, whereas on the street, like, you never see police officers with guns unless it's like a big deal. Like someone, like a Downing Street, I think they might have some guys with guns. And if there's, I mean, I remember when the Queen, uh, for the Jubilee had a gun, she had a gun, they took it out of that golden carriage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When someone sees you having shat your pants and you're walking down the street, you want them to come up and like push your eyes in and then crack your skull like the mountain.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've actually stopped playing hearts of iron 4 so much, um, because I think it's still-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, A, saving it for the recordings, but also because, uhm, I mean, it's still early days, and I remember Hearts of Iron 3 when it came out, did this kind of goofy shit, and I'm just kind of sick of the AI and its incompetence at the moment. The more you play it, the more you see it do the same thing, you're just like, for fuck's sake. Like, it's either too easy, or your allies are fucking idiots.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like uhm, I have never played it having ticked the box, historical focus, and I kinda think if you tick that little box, the game has a better idea of what it should be doing. Otherwise, and I saw this post this guy put on the Hearts of Iron Force subreddit the other day, saying, where are all the Germans?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he was trying to find the hundreds of divisions of German troops, trying to figure out where the fuck they were. Because the war in France was not going well. Like the English landed, they sent a couple of divisions, they ran around a little bit, and then they just left. They just left. They could have taken Germany. There was nobody in Germany. They just sort of went, well there's no one here to fight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Or they're like, oh wait, someone's invading our tiny island in the Pacific that nobody gives a shit about. Quick men, to the battlements! And they sort of get on their ships and just coast straight over there. It's just kind of daft, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In like, uh, Southeast Asia, they had a load in New Zealand and places. Just like, what are you doing? Like, it doesn't make sense. The AI should understand you don't need to commit an army or multiple army groups to something that big. Like, it should weight it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, based on not just resources, but tactical importance. It doesn't really understand that. And when you're fighting them, they tend to just do the old, let's form a massive line and slowly grind our way through them. Where's the encirclement? Like, you have to fuck up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know if you put that, nobody in Germany can watch our videos, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right, but they're not banned in their respective countries and Germany has banned the swastika. So they're literally like, we can't sell this game if we ship it with a Nazi flag. Like that's why Wolfenstein, you know, had Nazi flags all over the place, but you couldn't, couldn't play it in Germany. And correct me if I'm wrong, commenters, but I'm pretty sure that's the case.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All I'm saying is dude, that there are, there is a subset of people that play these games because they want to recreate what they see as the missed opportunity of Germany conquering the world. And I think you, Lewis Brindley, are one of them. Yeah. Closet gnats.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nice. There's nothing out at the moment, if I'm honest. Like, I mean, I'm just playing Dota, I'm playing CSGO, I'm playing Overwatch, I'm playing, there's the, those are the games that I'm caning in at the moment. Like, I was gonna play that Serial Killer one, what's it called, uh, Dead by Daylight or whatever, and I was just kinda like, eeeeh, I can't be bothered. I'll just play something else.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Somewhere is when you need good games because of all the fucking healthy tanned alpha people out there. We nerds need games to climb indoors and hide. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What I wanna know is, if, if, it actually happened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But all like our knowledge of what was happening in the world would be so limited. Like there's no internet, there's no TV, like that all gets destroyed by the EMP pulse and everything. So your communication consists of what you can say to your neighbours. And, and, and people, if any of the authorities drive around with a bullhorn saying


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think if you would need to have underground a pretty big, like bigger than your house underground, you'd need to have water filtration system, air filtration system, and you'd need to figure out a way to store enough food to feed your family of four people.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For yeaah, something that's compact, and you'd also need to have vitamins cause you're not gonna see the sun, you're gonna get scurvy if you don't eat some fresh fruits, you gotta worry about shit like that, it's gonna be almost impossible.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, There Will Be Blood is probably one of my favourite movies of all time. You know, we took the, I drink your milkshake.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Die Hard, Die Hard's right up there. Obviously gotta love Die Hard. Love that movie. Die Hard's a blast. Watch it every Christmas.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This isn't going, well, let's get the fuck outta here. They don't say, we're gonna have to stay because that's your job, and then they're like, we gotta-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Exactly. And they're like, no, fuck it. And then they're like, we should just take off a nucleosite from orbit. The only person who doesn't go along with that is Burke, the corporate asshole. So they make the right decision there. When it comes, what are they gonna do? We're gonna put the guns here, we're gonna barricade ourselves in, we're gonna wait, we're gonna get


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can go there, send the fucking robot down there to remote pilot the ship. It all makes sense. Anything that goes wrong is not because they fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what, if you like sports movies, which I'm sure you don't, because there are hardly any good ones, there are a few actually good sports movies. Moneyball, Moneyball if you haven't seen it is really good, but the best sports movie ever made is Slapshot, which is like an ice hockey movie. That is the funniest shit. I love that movie. I love that movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think Bolt Durham is a better sports movie, like uhm, that's the one with Kevin Kastner.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, what's your man's name? Tim Robbins, and it's got Susan Sarandon in. Yea, that's right. That's not a bad baseball movie, like that's a good, there's not been many, cause they either get too fucking romantic and whimsical, but Bull Durham, Major League, uh, yeaah. Major League is good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right? Another example, it's just, it's got a bunch of comedians in and it's just funny. It's not like a star vehicle. Right, but they don't make comedies like that anymore. And take, take the new Ghostbusters movie, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The ghost, but the original Ghostbusters movie, I'm not getting into the whole controversy about the new Ghostbusters movie, but I'm saying if you look at the way that's made compared to the original Ghostbusters, even from the trailer I can see that there's a huge disparity between the two. One of them was made in that kind of 80s madcap comedy style.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where you've got an ensemble cast and it's just funny and weird shit happens and it's got these weird scenes that don't really go anywhere but they're good and memorable and everything like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And nowadays it all seems to have to have a really obvious plot that follows through. There's action sequences, there's effects. It's like a star vehicle and stuff. It's completely changed. I feel it's too...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, in order to get those goofy movies made, it needed to be more of a relaxed industry, I think. Cause it was, a lot of them were just a complete gamble. It might be fucking awful. If you pitched planes, trains, and automobiles, you'd be like, oh, it's just two guys and they have to go on a road trip and they're not quite buddy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I would love that. You made me watch anime. Here's what we could, we could give you a list of movies. This is like your education in 80's movies. And you gotta watch them all and then I want you to tell us what you thought about them. Howard the Duck. Watch Howard the Duck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have like really sort of, um, obnoxious back pain? Like a stiff back when you wake up in the morning?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The arrow keys work. You can just, you can move your cursor to the side of the screen as well. That moves the map around a bit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know like two things that have always traditionally moved the map around in those kind of games? Like, since the dawning of time? Yea, they do work.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, because, you know, this stuff is designed, it's like ergonomic, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The, where the sort of line ends for things being ergonomic is pressing the middle mouse button. It's, it's unnatural. You know, like a mouse movement, mouse button one, mouse button two, uh, one hand on the keyboard.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like with the WASD claw thing, that's all fine. I can live with that. Like I don't get any pains or aches or anything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But the minute I gotta start pushing the middle mouse button, I'm like fucking dead. Like in two seconds. It's, it's not, you're not meant to. So it's not just me. And I think it was like an afterthought too, because it's really comfortable to scroll the middle mouse meal, uh, wheel.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's no problem, but the minute you have to push it down, and if you have to push it down and hold it down for whatever reason, it fucking sucks. Like, they should remove that from games as an option. It's garbage.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And on some mice, it makes the dumbest noise, too, when you're scrolling. It does. It just makes this, yeaah, clicking noise, and yeaah, I think, I think, period's right, if it was like a, sort of like a sensor sort of thing, that you could just rest your finger on, and move up and down if you needed to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I found it annoying, but I don't think it actually had any sort of detriment on my overall health. Like, I can walk away from a computer game and just be like, yea whatever, I'm done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Getting injured and missing out on technology or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like I'm the total opposite. Cause I, I know like when I'm 80 years old.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Games that uhm, you know, are part of franchises that I was playing like 10 years ago or whatever. And yeaah, they've come a long way sort of thing. But like the whole new thing with VR and everything.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I couldn't give a shit. I honestly feel no desire whatsoever to go out and buy one. I just don't give a fuck. Like it just doesn't interest me at all. Have you tried it? I've tried it like at events and stuff and it's okay. It's kinda cool.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But it just seems like such a ball ache to get going with, you know? Like I just wanna fuckin' sit down and like play a couple of games or something or whatever. I don't wanna have to like strap something to my face and dance around my living room and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Standing up all day is probably just as bad. Like, you're meant to move. That's the thing. Standing up isn't gonna make you fit. You know, going for a walk or doing some shit is gonna make you fit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I don't like, I like sitting down and after I've sat down for like an hour or whatever, you get up and you stretch a bit and you sit back down. It's fine. Like I don't, I don't want to be fucking standing up for hours on end. Like Jesus Christ.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think a lot of people assume that you need to exercise intensely to lose weight. And I think that that's wrong too. You know, like, I don't think you, I don't think you're gigantic, uh, because you've sat around and played WoW or whatever for like 10 years and never moved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and then you go out and you, you join like a fucking high velocity kickboxing club or something. You know what I mean? Like that's not going to really help you out. Like you, you just need to.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You just, it's just, it's lifestyle, right? And like, I think if you're constantly tricking yourself or whatever, you're just setting yourself up to fail or just not do that all the time, you know? Like, gyms are a little bit like that too. You know, like if you go to a gym and you have a personal trainer and stuff, it's just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's something that you don't want to do that you have, that you now have to do because you've paid for it and you've organized it and stuff. Exactly. And, um, and it just becomes like another thing that you force yourself to do. Whereas like if your lifestyle was different and you naturally just went out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And walked places or, or you did something or, you know, you, you were interested in something, you know, you were on a, like a football team or, you know, you, you had.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, smoking is such a weird one though. You never fully quit smoking, because you're always tempted, right? Because you've done it before. So like, you always have these moments later on after you've quit smoking where you're


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] In like the 80s and the 90s, I think it was like, it was like a prop, right? Like if you were waiting at bus stop or whatever. So, oh yeah, I'll just, I'll just smoke or, or, you know, you're waiting somewhere, you're doing something. You had like some time. Yeah, you had some time in between something. It was like perfectly acceptable to just be like, yeah, I'm just going to smoke.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And like back then you could smoke it in restaurants. I mean we used to be able to smoke in the mall. Like we used to be able to walk around the mall smoking. It was amazing. But you can't do that now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, when we were in high school, we had a, had a subway sort of close by our


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] To our high school, you know, like the, where you eat Subway, not like the underground. And you could smoke and where I lived, it was cold for like six months of the year or whatever. So we'd go over there and we'd buy a sub and we would literally sit in Subway for like six hours just smoking our butts off because it was nice and warm and we could, and it was great.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It must have been like a, like a post-war thing though, right? Because I think, I think it got very popular during the wars and stuff, you know, cigarettes were considered like a luxury thing that you got. And I think, I think that probably just carried on like after probably like World War II or whatever, just became like a cultural thing where, you know, everybody smoked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, I grew up in a country where camping is like, you know, the done thing. You do it. You'll have to do it at some point in your life just because it's so accessible or whatever. But like, I sometimes think that maybe camping became popular like post-war as well. I don't know if that's something that people would have necessarily done a ton of like before that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But maybe like, you know, the people that went away and fought in wars and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, no honestly though, like, it can be really shitty, but like, depending on how you do it, it can be really good. Like obviously there's-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One thing I noticed though about, about Britain and like, especially over here, there's not, there's, there are forests, but you know, there's lots like fields and stuff like that. And when you see people camping or going like on, in their caravans, like on TV in Britain,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They often do it in a field and I mean like when I went camping in Canada like we'd always camp in a forest. Right. Just because it was.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was like really enthusiastic about fishing and camping and just, just sort of like outdoors life sort of thing, you know, like he.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He worked like a pretty crappy job, and when he got time off, like in the summer or whatever, this is like, everything would lead up to him going away on these trips or whatever. With or without his family, kind of thing, but in this case he took me and my friend.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, we went camping, uhm, and we went for two weeks, okay? We went to this place, uh, where you- you camp like on an island?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You get to like the lake side or whatever and then you row out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fuckin' everyday, and we had to shit in a hole. Like, we had to dig holes to shit in and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And it was, it was awesome actually. It was really, really enjoyable. Like we really stunk when we got back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, like it was a lake, so you'd go in, but like, you know, like we took soap with us, so we'd just like jump in the lake and have a quick wash or whatever, but you're out there, you don't see anyone, there's, you know, no one around, so you don't feel like compelled to wash like every day sort of thing, you just like stink it up, shit in a hole.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was good at sort of like preparing gutting fish and stuff and we cooked them up and ate them. Some of them you're not allowed to, like you, cause you have to have a license. You can only catch certain ones or keep certain ones and whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Basically, cause in Canada again, it's all geared up for that, so they'd have, in like a national park or whatever, they'd have like a big area for big group camping sort of thing, and you'd get like a huge log cabin with like bunk beds in it and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, and you did it that way. It was still pretty fun, but...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just like being outside all the time and man, it was really nice to just like drink beer and fall asleep by a campfire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This weird forest killer would have to have a heck of a lot of time on his hands and a lot of passion for his craft to follow us out to that island.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know you're about to like, um, skin my thighs and, and eat them in front of me and then kill me or whatever, but honestly, respect, man. Holy shit. It must've, it must've taken a great deal of effort to get out here and find us. And you know, some of those holes that I was shitting in, I didn't cover up. So just be careful on your way back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Man, it's funny though because I didn't have a clue, right? So when we were packing up our stuff, the supplies and everything, everything was like really calculated too. You know, like, like we had fruit juice, but it was in like these little like pouches, like the crystallized stuff. And then we just mix it with like, you know, fucking filtered.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Lake water or whatever. Uh, but you, we, we had literally exactly what we needed for two weeks. So if we stayed an extra day, we would starve because we were just out of supplies by then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then, uh, my friend just like sort of looked at me with this expression. I was like, well what? He's like, no, that's what we have to like dig holes to take shits in. I was like, oh.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but there is, there is definitely the risk of shit getting onto the shovel, like if you're, you know, what if you dig a hole and somebody, you manage to dig a hole where somebody else is like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but still, I mean, you know, that thing is going to get contaminated one way or another. So, and then it's just sitting there in your luggage, like, kind of gross.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, but that's what they used to do. They used to make breadcrumb pudding, didn't they? Like, they used to use the, uhm, they used to use the crust of the bread to make, like, this fucking weird pudding with because nobody wanted to eat the crust. Like, they'd reuse everything. Well, I don't know how I feel about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what's really nice? You know what's really nice? Get an oatmeal loaf. You know, it's got like little like oats sprinkled on the crust.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I'm telling you, it's really nice though. Like your kids might not like it, but it's really fucking good.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you got a whole bunch of, like, snacking vegetables, like, you know, pre-cut carrots and, like, you know, little, like, broccolis and, you know, stuff that you would generally dip, like, into hummus. CRUDETE!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's really hard to do, like, with milk bags. Like, uhm. Milk bags? God, yeah. Cause we get, cause in Canada you get, generally you get milk and bags.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know why, but we used to get, I used to work at a grocery store and holy shit that stuff sold like hotcakes. Like it was crazy. We'd get racks and racks and racks of these big bags of milk and they'd just be all gone by the end of the day. It was nuts.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, so they're not allowed to actually plant their own veg. Isn't that like a breach of


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, uh, like uh, avocado shortage is something that I can live with, for sure.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, I went to Bristol for two days. Uh, as you know, cause I was with you most of the time and, um, I saw the Warcraft movie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Finally got around to seeing it. What did you think?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was okay, it wasn't terrible, it wasn't amazing, it was somewhere in the middle, you know, as a long time...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Warcraft fan. There was a lot of fan service in there that I enjoyed. It was fun seeing people get out of every possible situation with the teleportation spell. That was cool too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, it was, it was pretty good. I, I enjoyed it. It was entertaining. It was good. Good, uh, good experience at the cinema and stuff. I don't know if I'll watch it again. I'm, I'm kind of like, I'm, I'm a bit like that. You know, like the Star Wars movies, like the Phantom Menace and, uh, the other one and the one after that. The, the more, the more recent ones. The Force Awakens.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I only saw those once in the cinema and that's it. I never watched them again after. So like, my experience of them was different. A lot of people were like, they were trash! But like, they'd watch them 300 times or whatever, so, you know, they did these big in-depth analysis of the...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Movies and how they compare to the old ones and stuff, but like, I'm not all about that, like I just go to the movie theater.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Buy some popcorn, watch a movie, and if that two hours that I spent there was enjoyable enough, I'm cool with that sort of thing, and then I move on with my life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it on Netflix? No, no, it was just on TV. Fuck, it's on Netflix now too, the original Predator and the original Die Hard too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, but there's no account, if you're under pressure and it's like a highly charged situation though, people make funny, funny decisions, don't they? Like, you know, he was so stressed out, he's probably just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, no, they're just like, I think it's something, if you watch something, uhm, and it has some sort of impact on you when you're like a child and it's still something that you can enjoy as an adult, you'll probably enjoy it still sort of thing because there's just a whole mix of things, like it reminds you of being a kid, it reminds you of like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's like nostalgia, right? Yeah, exactly. So like, yeah, I'm the same with like Die Hard. I'm the same with National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. That's another movie that I used to watch, like, with my family every Christmas. Yeah, yeah. Uhm, we just like, make it a point to like, no matter what we were doing, sit down and watch that stupid movie. And it was just like, I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think it's just after people had time to digest and realize like what, what happened in the movie, which was like, not really that much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like a lot of games now are designed to, to, in a way where, where they want to keep you playing after you've sort of finished the game if you like, or you get to like the end game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It kept me in, but like, sometimes I think about this and I wonder why I was kept in there, but there weren't as many games coming out at the time either, right? Like when World of Warcraft came out, like, you know, there were still lots of games coming out, don't get me wrong, but there wasn't as-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't nearly as many as are coming out now, you know, like almost every month now there's like some new huge game that everybody, you know, needs to play sort of thing coming out and


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A lot of games now, they try to hook you in, they try to keep you in the game or whatever, but there's too much else coming out that people will just gravitate towards inevitably, and I don't know, I think a lot of companies just don't


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Diablo 3 is a good example. That's meant to be a game that you play a lot of all the time, you grind through and stuff like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The game just dies like a week after a new season comes out. Everybody's hyped for a new season, they come in, they play a lot, they binge on it for like a week, and then it just doesn't have like one or two key things in it to keep you hooked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I'm not sure what those are, but like, I feel like maybe the division is the same, but I'm not sure what it is. I guess with WoW, it's the whole community social aspect.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The division and Diablo are different because you actually have to do something when you log in, you know, like there's not really somebody to just hang out with and talk to. You have to log in and grind to get that purple shotgun or whatever. And maybe that, maybe just like the thought of doing that is just kind of shitty for people and they just don't want to do it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I haven't been paying any attention to E3, like I don't even know what's been announced, nothing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't mind checking it out as well. I've never been to one either. We should go next year.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I need to play it. I still need to like play it through and finish it. I bought it finally, but I just need to get around to actually play.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't even know, most of the games now that are big esports, I mean, when they came out, they came out long enough ago where I don't even think that that would have been at the forefront of people developing its mind, bearing in mind that it would have taken them a couple of years to actually develop the game before.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It came out too, sort of thing, you know what I mean? Like, maybe, maybe, maybe you're right, maybe like, the games that are big eSports now were never meant to be, sort of thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's, it's weird to think like, like, you know, Dota.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dota 2 obviously benefits massively from being like a big competitive e-sport now, but if it wasn't a big e-sport, it would still do very well. You know, it's the model of the game and the way that, you know, it makes its money and stuff. It would still be highly successful, I think.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I don't think they have any compendiums or anything built in like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm new to the game, so for me it's important that I have a small country to start with where I have a lot of time to just organize myself, get myself together. Because jumping in as a superpower when you're not ready to do that is pretty overwhelming.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, keeps you on your toes. We need to play, we need to play like a multiplayer of that or like Stellaris or something.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know man, I feel like just throw all the cards up in the air and see where they fall, like just fucking start a game. That's always your idea for everything. I know, it's because I don't like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll round off with that. Quickly before we go into questions, uhm, you've been playing Hearts of Iron IV or anything else you've been playing this week?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The show could just be called eSports!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Period, you need to get a garage and you need to convert it into a smelly dad pad, like me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's cause you're like Dexter in real life and you actually kill people in that room when you're not streaming video games.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, let's have some quick ones then. Uhm, there's one here. Oh yea. Colin asks, what type of music are each of you into? I always think you guys would be really into jazz or classic rock. Uhm.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like a bit of classic rock. I like a bit of jazz as well. I think predominantly I still listen to a lot of hip-hop from the early 90s. Like, that's my go-to. Like, if I listen to something, it'll be sort of like- Stuff that you listen to when you're a teenager. I'm not even, I'm not even like, coast specific. Like, I'll listen to East Coast or West Coast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the Switzerland of the rap, uh, beef. I'm totally, yeah. It doesn't bother me at all. I'll listen to anything from that era in that genre.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Is it like the music from like the Tropical Paradise level in Mario Kart? Is that what it's like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hello and welcome back to the Triforce Podcast. Actually, you should do an intro for this one. Why? No, that's fine. Well, because we're good. I've done the intro for the last, like, three with the archives and so people will think this is another archive and they'll be salty about it. Who's keeping tabs? You should just give us a nice intro. Warm, generous, sips tro.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh yes, cause P Flex isn't even here yet. So he's gone, he went to a poker tournament yesterday. Do you know how he did? I have no idea. Maybe he'll tell us later in the podcast if he turns up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They seem like just weird holding bays. You could make a game, okay, called airport real sim where people come in from a landing and you just sort of gate them like sheep into a little pen and then you slowly filter them through these various, you know, maybe, maybe they're just very, very


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Overly busy, uh, some sort of area. Is Malta part of the European...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She liked it. It's quite small, I think, but it's also quite cool. It's a small little island, isn't it? Yeah, I get the impression it's sort of a fortress island or something. Isn't that what it's famous for? And it's got a good relationship with us, I seem to remember. I think they quite like the Brits. Anyway, PFLAX will tell us all about it later in the podcast.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We haven't done one for so long now because, and we're not going to do one next week either because you're not here next week. Yeah. So I figured like, I'm just, of course tomorrow I'm off to MCM to do the, um, we just don't have time. We're so busy. Holy crap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I know, it's crazy. I'm going to MCM with PFLAX actually, he's coming. And I think he's bringing his daughter as well, who I think is seven. Which is a little bit young for the whole...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] MCM, I don't think that it's a typically, it's not like Disneyland. No. Um, it's kind of like nerd central where comic book nerds dress up as


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The queue to meet them as well was non-existent as well. I don't think you even paid anything. Did you buy anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I was walking in, and sometimes when I walk in, people clock me, right, and I don't know if they've, if they're just either weird like homeless people or like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just, I've got something on my face, or I don't know. Like, sometimes, sometimes I think someone is like, asking me as a fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then they ask me for directions or something. I think it's about 50-50 when people stop me in the street, okay? It's actually a coin flip on whether or not they're a fan.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this guy clocked me today, and I sort of, I squinted at him, I gave him like the little squint, I sort of gave him a little half smile, and then he was like, he just like pointed at me, he was like, I know you, don't I? And I was like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, maybe. How, how do you know me? And you know, it was like, it started this awkward sort of conversation where he, he sort of slowly was trying to figure out how he knew me, like, was I a old school friend? Like, there's that weird sort of thing that happens in your mind and then it clicks and he was like, oh my god, I used to watch all of your Minecraft videos. And I was like, oh, thanks. It's, that means a lot. But now that I'm


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he wanted a picture and I was like, sure. And he was like, oh, let me, let me make sure my hair looks good. And I've just stood there like looking like a fucking wreck, you know, cause I just like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And uh, so he takes this lovely picture of himself, and I'm like, he's like six foot three as well, like gorgeous looking guy, and I'm like just


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So two weeks in America, I had, uh, in LA. Yeah. It was pretty good. I've got some good sort of stuff to talk about from there, but I think I'll, I'll save some until P-Flex gets back.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, when he told me his ideas, I instantly tuned out and didn't listen to what any of them were. So I'm gonna have to re-, I'm gonna have to subtly ask him to remind me about what his ideas were and then I can find out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The problem with the Civ is that I don't know whether you noticed this. They gave like two and a half minutes of B-roll footage of gameplay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But I didn't have time. Oh. Um, because I'm so broken because of my fucking jet lag. Yeah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of them is called Here I Stand, which is quite a big one on Board Game Geek, and I think Ben and Tom have played it. I don't think I've played it, but when I mentioned it to Ben, he definitely knew it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This guy is, has added a lot of elements to Civ, which I think are pretty good. And the other guy that I met was, uh, Pete Hines. Uh, not Pete Hines.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pete Murray, who is the guy who was in charge, I think, of XCOM and bringing that up, you know, making XCOM and XCOM 2. And he's a fucking genius. He really is a really good, I really, really have a lot of respect for him because he's done so well.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he's a really cool guy actually. I really like him a lot. And he basically just has a really good eye for like seeing what in a game needs to be taken out unchanged and fixed. And I think a lot of people


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That does kinda suck, but I think that it's, it's rightly so. I think that it's, it's a modern


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shooter, he's got a good little, I, I, do you know what? I really liked it. I don't think I liked it as much as Wolfenstein, but I liked it very nearly as much as Wolfenstein. It's pretty short, like eight to nine hours I finished the campaign in and I, it's not like I was, I was rushing too much.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The campaign's pretty epic, right? And in fact it leaves a lot more scope for further stuff than Wolfenstein did. I think that it definitely leaves the door open for a big DLC, like the Wolfenstein DLC. Which was okay, the Wolfenstein DLC was good length.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and it had a good feel to it, but it wasn't as good as the original game.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just, it was almost like I'd rented a 9 hour movie or something, you know, that's what it felt like to me rather than buying a 40 pound game, which is a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's quite an expensive game. So, I mean, I think it'll be just as good at Christmas if you pick it up for, you know,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It felt so nice to play a man. It was so, so satisfying. There were moments in that game. Okay, so basically, I can't, my story is, I...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm on the plane, I'm fuckin'. We get up on the last day to go away, to go home, right? And so you pack up your bags and you check out the hotel, and there's loads of faff with credit cards, or you know, can't pay for stuff, or you know, pretty declined, all this shit. Yeah. Go through a little hassle trying to get your stuff paid for. Oh, there seems to be 35.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, they haven't got breakfast or something for the last day and then you put your luggage, you have to put your luggage with the concierge and hold onto the ticket and then you have to, you have to basically kill that last day kind of thing because you can't really plan a thing because everyone's like, oh, I don't want to miss the plan, don't want to miss the plan, don't want to miss the plan, super stressed about that, right? So you turn up to the airport.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So everyone's saying, oh, you know, but, oh, it's, no, so the plane leaves at like, the plane left at 6 o'clock. Oh my god. So we left for the airport at like 1 o'clock, even though we were, you know, we knew we were going to be at the airport, bored out of our fucking wits for ages.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We couldn't really do anything. It was just a horrible day. I was still feeling like pretty queasy and stuff from, from other things that we'd done. And uhm, and so I wasn't feeling good. I had a real bad headache. I wasn't hung over or anything. I just...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the date was a very nice day, you know, it was like a muggy LA kind of cloudy day. Anyway, got to the airport expecting long old lines and stuff, but, but then, you know, we were, we couldn't.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, so LA is fine, we only had to queue for like half an hour or whatever once we found the place, blah blah, went through. And then we had to like sit in the airport for like four hours. Now, it's a noisy airport, we didn't go to get to sit in the premium economy lounge or anything, so we were just in basic economy. Oh. I don't think premium economy have a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can't even like, yeah, so we didn't really want to talk to each other. Anyway, it got us through to like six, we got on the plane.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And we were like crammed in freemium economy and there were two crying children to the right of me and another crying children to the left of me and it was like a cat had been, was in a bag and it was being beaten on a five minutely basis. Cause this baby...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And these kids were so unhappy and so screamy. Yeah. And their parents were so embarrassed about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and it was, it was, it was utterly awful. It was my, imagine hell.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, oh my god, and we're sort of sitting fairly near the toilet, so you sort of get this occasional waft of like- Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, so it was just, it went on and on and on and I, I had, I had sort of, I'd run out of stuff to sort of, um, and what happened, you know, as soon as I sat down in my seat, the guy in the seat in front of me put his chair back. All the way. Yeah. Right. Like if he didn't even like wait for the plane to take off before he put his seat back, you know, so it was one of those guys where,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That seat was back the whole time. Cause the seats in economy are pretty tight. Man, tell me about it. When his seat's back, if you don't have your seat back as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That screen is like super close to your face and the TV was slightly broken. Anyway, it was just, everything was wrong with that flight, you know. There was this moment where it all happened where I was like, I felt like the worst, I put like the blindfold on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I, I think there'd been this lull in the babies for like a tiny moment and, and I had literally just like had like maybe like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My blindfold off and I threw it at the baby. I'm not even kidding. I actually did this on the plane. Okay. And Bates just turned to me and looked at me. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? But, and obviously the people who uhm, the parents didn't know it was me because the blindfold just came out of nowhere and hit the baby.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so, I was just like, I didn't, I just like, just, I, I was immediately, I immediately regretted what I'd done. But it was one of these moments where it just boiled over. And I know it wasn't their fault, and it's not the baby's fault. And that baby's probably having just as much problem as I am. Yea, you probably traumatized that baby for life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sometimes you just have to throw a blindfold. I frisbeed it and I didn't intend, I didn't intend to hit the baby, but I frisbeed it across the plane and it was like, I mean honestly Sips, if I'd like spoken to all the passengers in private and we'd come up with like a pact,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We, we would have, we would have agreed to like throw that family out of the plane, and then no one would have said, oh well we don't know, we would have agreed to keep it all a secret. And we would have all been fine with that. At that point in the plane, everyone in economy


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What's done? It could have been this one of these like films, you know, about a group of people who band together to murder someone equally and every one of them does one stab.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Um, and the sort of crying stopped and subsided. It was almost like everyone in economy had bonded over some shared traumatic experience and they were like patting each other on the back like, oh, we made it guys, holy shit. And like everyone was like, oh, you know, that baby, oh wow, that baby, they're making jokes about like, oh, that baby's going to be the next X Factor winner, you know, oh, those lungs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Heaven and hell, okay. I always used to make jokes like saying, oh, you know, hell, it can't be that bad, you know, yeah, I'm looking forward to going there. But if hell is sitting on that airplane, right, with that baby for another nine hours, I


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Weirdly, my fucking, I was, when I was playing Doom, I actually thought, this is my idea of heaven. Like going to hell and fucking killing zombies and killing, killing fucking giant monsters and blowing them up with a shotgun. This is actually, this is actually the opposite of what it should be. You know? Sorry. So I'm kind of just, I need to calm down after that. But I mean,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think that that's extremely, that's extremely, uhm, do you know what, I do think about it, okay, Sips, and I think it's an extremely western and also ignorant way to think about it, okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Honestly, I don't think that's too bad. I'm sure it would get wor- Look, I guess- It's hell, it doesn't get better, it gets worse. I guess what I mean is that everyone else- This is a famous quote by someone smarter than me.


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[Assistant] Everyone else is an atheist towards everyone else's religions anyway, right? So Christians are just a massive atheist. They're atheists towards Thor and uhm, you know, Sun God belief and paganism and Hinduism and Sikhism and all that. So you don't believe in their ideas of heaven and hell. You know, the majority of the people on the earth don't believe in


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno, like this is a good old, this is a good old topic which is always gonna be argued about. I think that if you're, I think that, oh I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Religion. Is it the opiate of the masses, Sips? I don't know, it's difficult to know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the only reason you're going to be a good man is to be, because you're scared into it by religion telling you that you're going to go to space prison.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You've got to understand that people 100 years ago couldn't even imagine, uh, the idea of the internet or computers or a lot of things or walking on the moon necessarily. Maybe they could imagine walking on the moon.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, a thousand years ago, or two thousand years ago when these religions were founded, you know, certainly they didn't have a real, they didn't even really know what the sun was, they didn't really know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] By which I mean, they can only imagine certain so much. You know, we, we have, we having a great deal of knowledge now about the nature of the universe lets us postulate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What possible scenarios there could be that heaven or hell might exist. And it was a lot more...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've talked about this a bit before, but like heaven, your idea of heaven might not align with other people's idea of heaven, right? So even like in a family, you know, my idea of heaven might be, you know, having my grandparents alive.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Let me, let me just give you this paradox, right? So, you know, I said this at church, but imagine I went to heaven and I wanted to, you know, my idea of heaven would be, you know, hanging out with my whole family, my parents, my grandparents, you know, everyone all there, okay?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My granddad doesn't wanna be, like, an old man. He wants to be, you know, 21 year old man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I see, so that's why some of those commandments, like, maybe that's cover the neighbour's ass.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yes, 42069. Yea, that's right. Oh my god. So uhm, oh god. So, honestly, I genuinely had a real bad journey coming back. Sounds like it. It was, it was awful.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I got off the plane, alright, shut up Sips. I got off the plane, uh, it was like 11 in the morning UK time, okay, so I've been up since 7 or whatever, you know, in America, so it's been at least, I've been up for about


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wait about half an hour for that and then get in it and the taxi driver literally talks to me for like the two hour drive about the Brexit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He mind fucked me, is what he did on the Brexit. Then I got out of the car at my flat.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm going to ignore your suggestion that it wasn't just me in the taxi, there were other people there. What, Tom Bates too? Yeah, yeah. He was getting fucked as well. That sounds messy. He was just as, he was just as in a bad shape as I was. Nice. Um, and then I got home, but it's always, there's some stupid like fucking,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Works going on outside my flat all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm extremely suspicious of people who work on these things, right, because these people, it's been going on outside my flat for about six months now, and what they do is they, they start at eight o'clock in the morning, they turn all their engines on and they, actually sometimes it's like 7.30, so that's pretty early, right, since I don't normally get up till like 7.30, and so I've woken up by,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It wasn't only that, there was someone on the river near me doing some sort of riveting and it sounded like a gunshot going off every fucking...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you know what I thought this morning? Cause this, like, cause I don't have any food in my flat at all. I didn't have any, I don't have any, I sat there in my flat and I thought, do you know what? I'm glad there's a cockroach in my flat to share this experience with me, right? Because I, cause there's no food in that flat for this, in my flat for this cockroach to eat, or me, right? So we share.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel sad now, I feel like I should, it's like, it's like my only companion.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have, I have, my flat is like sparsely, it's like, it's like, it's like Breaking Bad, you know, Jesse's apartment where he's just got a mattress on the floor, it's like that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I think I do remember something like that happening. Yeaah. I think I do remember that. Have we got the same mother? Maybe.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And then he slapped me with a slipper or something. Yeah, it wasn't, it was never like bad, but it hurt. You know, it was a little bit, little bit of punishment. But back in the day, he would get, you know, proper caned and stuff in school across the knuckles. So he was a real, he was a real kind of old school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, I think that a lot of people do go to prison for, like, the wrong, like, not, even though they haven't done a thing. So, you know, it's not a 0% chance that you'll, you might end up in prison one day. In fact, it's more likely you'll end up in prison one day than you'll end up in hell, heaven, I think. Maybe. Yeah, how do you like that? So why are we worried about heaven and hell?


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[Assistant] FtL, when I couldn't sleep on my iPad. Which is an old school game. I played the enhanced edition on iPad. I mean, I played a lot of it on PC like 3 or 4 years ago. And I saw Duncan was playing on his iPad recently, so I downloaded it. And uhm, man, I've really enjoyed playing it again actually. So, but I'm kind of done. I did like a couple of playthroughs.


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[Assistant] And lots of few ships, and I'm done. And so yea, that's, I've moved on from that. What have you done? Give me a game.


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[Assistant] Overwatch is, uh, is out and good. I saw, uh, Battleborn or whatever that released, uhm, that's not really done very well. It's a pretty similar game. They reduced it to the same price, didn't they, on the Overwatch release day. 40 bucks.


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[Assistant] I'm going to have to have a look at it. I did play a bunch of Total War Warhammer. I think that it suffers towards the end of the campaign end game. You know, much like Stellaris does where it kind of doesn't really have a very, the victory conditions are not very good.


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[Assistant] Still RS is going to be fixed a lot, and I think Total Warhammer will get its updates too, but I think that it needs, both games need more victory conditions, because both of them


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[Assistant] The great thing about Civ 5 is that you sometimes end the game in a good place, right? Where you can click just one more turn, but no one does, right? So you can keep playing Civ 5 after you've hit a victory condition if you want to just one more turn thing, but it kind of leaves you wanting more. It ends you in a good place, right? Where I think Stellaris and


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[Assistant] Total War have a big amount of mopping up to do, like to finish them off.


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[Assistant] And a lot of the times I don't want to do that. Like for me, in my head, it gets to a point where I think, okay, this is now just a tight, this is now just a grind and I don't want to grind, so I'm not going to bother finishing this game. And I kind of end up with a little bit of a feeling of dissatisfaction sometimes when I finish this game.


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[Assistant] So yeaah, I'm not, I'm not as keen on that as I used to be. Me and Duncan are playing Factorio on stream again. We're using the mods. Oh, the ones you told me about, yeaah, yeaah. Man, we died in like an hour because we, the, the, the, the aliens are a lot harder, they invade a lot harder and we, we just got overrun.


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[Assistant] So we started again and were a lot more protective. So when me and you played Factorio, we barely had any problems with the aliens at all, did we?


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[Assistant] It adds a different spin on things. And when you've got, when you're playing multiplayer, it allows you to kind of have something else to do though as well, which is nice because it means that someone could spend time defending or attacking bugs. Like you were mostly attacking bugs when we played anyway. Near the end. Yeah, it was.


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[Assistant] Man, I enjoyed Factorio a lot, I think it was a really satisfying game. Yea, it was a fun, it was a fun game. Well, that's all I've been playing really though, but Doom, oh, it's great.


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[Assistant] God, there is a game that came out on Steam, it's on the top sell, it's called YouTubers Life. Have you seen this? Oh yeaah.


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[Assistant] It looks fucking garbage. I think Duncan and Kim were playing it the other day, so there might be some videos out with them.


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[Assistant] Man, we just like troll these, these terrible games. Age of cave.


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[Assistant] You told me about this, uhm, OpenTTD called SimuTrans on Steam, which looks like...


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[Assistant] Well, I've been looking at YouTube, YouTuber's life, so I assumed that it was a gender-changing simulator or something like that. Right. I don't know. I didn't know what it was when you told me, but SimuTrans is transportation sim, of course.


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[Assistant] That's right. And just, you know, loading up on those, transporting them where they need to go, and just generally helping people out.


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[Assistant] But that's cool, cause we could check with him next time about the po-


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[Assistant] He might be, but we'll find out. Give me, give me, let's do the questions and then we'll- I don't have-


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[Assistant] Oh, uh, they're good when you balance them on a- I like how you can balance them on a cup of tea.


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[Assistant] See this is what happens when the questions come in but we don't have any time to feel to them.


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[Assistant] I have, uhm, do you want the full rundown? I have some vans on my feet.


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[Assistant] I've got some ankle socks, some Vans ankle socks as well, and then I've got a pair of very tight shorts on, like super tight, like so tight that you can see the outline of my


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[Assistant] And then I'm not actually wearing shirts, I just painted on, uh, on chocolate body paint.


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[Assistant] And I have a bald, completely shaved bald, uh, head. Oh, okay. And like tribal, tribal, like, uh, blue paint, like lightning bolts on it.


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[Assistant] You've met my dad, uh, if you've watched any of the streams. No, I haven't.


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[Assistant] You have to do like a massive aaaah every time you look. Can't you just like...


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[Assistant] Also wasn't there an episode where Kramer, oh, he had to swap clothes with someone in a, in a shop somewhere. And, oh my god, anyway, the hot tub one is where he falls asleep in his hot tub, and his core temperature drops because the power goes out, and so he like, is freezing to death.


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[Assistant] I didn't turn it on, but if you turn on American TV at any time, it's just, there's crazy stuff on.


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[Assistant] God, it is really weird, but the first thing to happen was we were in the car, uhm, from the airport, going to America, and there was like, just listening to, you know, talk radio or whatever, and there was an advert for some sort of medicine.


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[Assistant] It is. I'd say that's the soul of the podcast. So Ben's fired now, right?


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[Assistant] I think, I think if somebody comes up to me, okay, and point blank just says, not even hello or anything, just says, I got a small dick. Then I'll know. I'll know that they listen to this. I'll be like, I know, I know what you're saying. That's the code. That could be the code.