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[Assistant] And what's super weird about these L's in could, should, or would is listen to me saying them. You don't pronounce the L's. And this is the only place in English where that silent L shows up. It's so strange. Ah, I love it.


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[Assistant] These are the irregular verbs and these, in fact, are the most irregular of the irregular.


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[Assistant] If you can master these, you will be a grammar champion. And I believe in you. Because you can learn anything. David out.


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[Assistant] Pencil, pencil, where are you? Pencil, pencil, I'm under the chair. Pencil, pencil, doodle doodle do. I drew a pencil under the chair.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Here's me on my bike.


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[Assistant] One, two, three. You love me more than three stars up in the sky.


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[Assistant] Well I love you more than all the stars in the sky.


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[Assistant] So, it's a staple of school science fairs around the world, and delivers a powerful taste explosion with every bite. Boys and girls, in your final challenge, you will be taking on a dangerous and unpredictable dessert. I present to you my food science fair project, run for cover, it's the... Volcano Cake!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because your volcano doesn't have the volume that it should have. To be able to like pull out of that and like actually get something done, I think is a huge accomplishment. And like you know what, like soft focus, it looks really cool with all the different colors, but you've got to go a little soft focus on it.


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[Assistant] Anytime you're working with slabs, you want to see more sculptural work, but I think good job. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One, two. Two sides. We need two teams. Great. I'll start one team. I'll start the other. We can take turns. One player on my team, then one on yours. Three, you're with me. Four, you're on my side. Five, with me. Six in the mix.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We can be the yellows. Huh? But we're not all yellow. Oh, right. Hmm.


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[Assistant] When we stand two blocks wide, everyone on my team does have an even top. See?


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[Assistant] My name's Kyle, I'm from Philly, but now I live in sunny LA. Learning how to bake has been a pretty big dream of mine because I'm trying to learn how to impress the ladies. I actually have never baked for a girl in a day because I'd be terrified, but if my baking skills were at the next level, boom, surprise them with a cake, brownies, you name it.


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[Assistant] How am I supposed to do a nose? Alright, we're using the cookie dough.


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[Assistant] We gotta give Donald a nice foundation. Beautiful.


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[Assistant] Alright, so, I gotta start stacking my cakes. Alright, there's my first layer.


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[Assistant] As you can see, it's a spitting image of Trump. He's right there looking very presidential, may I say.


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[Assistant] I'll tell you something. This final challenge has me very confused. Usually it's like stacking a cake and just making a cake. But like, they have to make two different types of cake. Yes, uhm.


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[Assistant] I am four. Have we met before?


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[Assistant] I am one, two, three, four. Four blocks. And this little fellow means four. Can you guess what my favourite shape is?


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[Assistant] One, two, three, four. Four plates!


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[Assistant] But with all due respect, Mr. Hanson, I completely disagree with you. I understand your concern.


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[Assistant] But in our experience, those product characteristics pale in comparison next to affordability and ease of use.


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[Assistant] I don't have time to address your concern fully.


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[Assistant] But most customers aren't interested in design as much.


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[Assistant] Please pardon my interruption, but with all due respect, Mr. Hanson, I completely disagree with you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I understand your concern, but in our experience, those product characteristics pale in comparison next to affordability and ease of use.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't have time to address your concern fully, but most customers aren't interested in design as much.


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[Assistant] I can see your point, Chris, but based on past experience, we know that customers mostly consider affordability and ease of use when deciding which product to buy.


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[Assistant] I can't go into this in detail now.


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[Assistant] But most customers just want reliability. And the design is secondary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I can see your point Chris, but based on past experience, we know that customers mostly consider affordability and ease of use when deciding which product to buy. I can't go into this in detail now, but most customers just want reliability, and the design is secondary.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Four green bottles standing in a square. Four green bottles.


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[Assistant] It looks like Kyle is using powdered sugar instead of granulated sugar.


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[Assistant] Annabelle looks like she's making her cookie actual life size. Is that, does she get bonus points for that or is that?


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[Assistant] Wait, so she's painting her icing and then she's gonna set her icing on top of her cookie? Might be a good solution.


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[Assistant] Let me just say this. I know cakes. And nobody knows cakes like I know cakes. And this is the most tremendous cake you've ever seen. And believe me when I tell you, it's bigly. Covefe. Ladies and gentlemen, pledge your eternal allegiance to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I have a babysitting issue that has come up.


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[Assistant] It was dry. But I like things that are dry, Kyle, so. Perfect. Good job. It's your lucky day. Thank you.


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[Assistant] I thought it tasted good. Really good. I enjoyed it.


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[Assistant] I'm going to pick that apple for us.


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[Assistant] Maybe I can make myself taller. By stretching.


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[Assistant] Look! A waterfall! They can't swim up that!


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[Assistant] Buck could always take the easy way out and just buy carbon offsets. They're all the rage in Hollywood. That's the dream factor, Hank.


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[Assistant] It's like a get out of jail free card for people concerned about the environment but not concerned enough to actually do anything. You simply pay someone to plant trees or build windmills to offset all the carbon you've dumped on the earth.


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[Assistant] You did what? Good news, Hank. I'm in the carbon offset business.


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[Assistant] Say old top, that truck of yours is quite the gas guzzler. How many offsets can I put you down for?


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[Assistant] This is the perfect plan. Strickland agreed to let me plant the trees on some land he isn't using, Bobby and Joseph agreed to do the planting, and I agreed to take the money.


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[Assistant] Who's to say what's cheating? Is Leonardo DiCaprio cheating when he offsets riding around in a private jet?


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[Assistant] I guess this is what happens when God gets lazy and humans have to pick up the slack. What else do you need me to do for you?


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[Assistant] Oh, sorry Mrs. Octavio. You sound just like him.


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[Assistant] Kids, I've decided that instead of planting, you should focus on selling carbon offsets.


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[Assistant] We got all the trees we need, Octavio. I mean, who knows how many carbons are soaked up by a single tree? Seventeen? Thirty billion?


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[Assistant] Well, I liked the money, but didn't care for the digging. After that, the plan sorta formed itself. Buck's been telling everybody he's planted a forest out there. This was supposed to save Strickland's image. In my defense, things get awfully muddy when it comes to the environment.


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[Assistant] Hybrid cars get worse mileage than older regular cars. Ethanol causes food prices to go up and leads to riots in other countries. We were supposed to have an ice age unless people stopped using pesticides. Well looky here! It's still hot!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He used to be in the gun club until we kicked him out. He kinda scared us. He's way in the gun.


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[Assistant] Hey Gribble, how's your gun club? Jeez, let it go already.


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[Assistant] Nice piece of property you got here. What is she, a hundred acres? She's not for sale.


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[Assistant] Oh, we don't wanna buy it. We wanna buy the carbon offset rights to your trees. You can't cut down my trees.


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[Assistant] Marilyn has never thought about the last time she would see her daughter. She would have imagined a touching bedside scene, like in the movies.


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[Assistant] Herself, white haired and elderly and content, in a satin bed jacket, ready to say her goodbyes. Lydia, a grown woman, confident and poised, holding her mother's hands in hers, a doctor by then.


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[Assistant] Unfazed by the great cycle of life and death. And Lydia, though Marilyn does not admit it, is the face she would want to see last.


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[Assistant] Not Nath or Hannah or even James, but the daughter she thinks of first and always. Now her last glimpse of Lydia has already passed.


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[Assistant] James, to her bewilderment, has insisted on a closed casket funeral.


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[Assistant] Cannot find the words to tell her what he discovered on going to identify Lydia's body. There is only half a face left, barely preserved by the cold water of the lake. The other half had already been eaten away.


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[Assistant] He ignores his wife and keeps his eyes trained on the rearview mirror as he backs into the street.


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[Assistant] The cemetery is only a 15 minute walk from their house, but they drive anyway. As they turn onto the main road that circles the lake, Marilyn looks sharply to the left.


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[Assistant] Nathan and Hannah wonder in unison if their mother will turn her head away for the rest of her life every time she passes by. The lake glints in the sun like a shiny tin roof, and Nathan's eyes begin to water. It seems inappropriate for the light to be so bright, for the sky to be so blue.


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[Assistant] And he's relieved when a cloud drifts over the sun and the water turns from silver to grey.


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[Assistant] At the cemetery, they pull into the parking lot. Middlewood is proud of its garden cemetery.


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[Assistant] A sort of graveyard and botanical garden in one.


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[Assistant] Nath remembers middle school science trips with sketch pads and field guides.


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[Assistant] Once the teacher had promised ten extra credit points to the person who could gather the most kinds of leaves. There had been a funeral that day too.


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[Assistant] And it complimented Tommy on being the only one to find Sassafras albidum.


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[Assistant] And the whole class had stifled giggles and high-fived Tommy on the bus ride home.


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[Assistant] Now, as they walk single file toward the cluster of chairs set up in the distance, Nath wants to go back in time and punch Tommy Reed.


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[Assistant] In Lydia's honor, the school has closed for the day. And Lydia's classmates come. Lots of them. Looking at them.


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[Assistant] James and Marilyn realized just how long it has been since they've seen these girls. Years.


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[Assistant] For a moment they don't recognize Karen Adler with her hair grown long, or Pam Saunders without her braces.


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[Assistant] James, thinking of the crossed out list of names, finds himself staring and turns away.


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[Assistant] Slowly the chairs fill with some of Nath's classmates.


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[Assistant] Even the neighbors as they file in feel like strangers. His parents never go out or entertain. They have no dinner parties, no bridge group, no hunting buddies or luncheon pals. Like Lydia, no real friends.


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[Assistant] Anna and Nath recognize a few professors from the university, their father's teaching assistant. But most of the faces in the chairs are strangers. Why are they even here? Nath wonders.


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[Assistant] And when the service starts and they all crane their necks toward the coffin at the front under the sassafras tree, he understands. They are drawn by the spectacle of sudden death. For the past week, ever since the police dragged the lake,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oriental girl found drowned in pond.


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[Assistant] The minister looks like President Ford, flat-browed, white-toothed, clean-cut, and solid. Belize do not attend church, but the funeral home had recommended him.


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[Assistant] I have everything I need instead of I shall not want.


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[Assistant] Even if I walk through a very dark valley instead of, yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. It feels disrespectful, a corner cut, like burying his daughter in a plywood box. What else could you expect from this town? He thinks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On his right, the scent of the lilies on the casket hits Marilyn like a warm, wet fog and she nearly wretches. For the first time, she wishes she were the sort of woman, like her mother, who carried a handkerchief.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She would like to worm her hand into her mother's lap, but she doesn't dare. Nor does she dare look at the coffin. Lydia is not inside, she reminds herself, taking a deep breath. Only her body. But then where is Lydia herself?


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[Assistant] Everyone is so still that to the birds floating overhead, she thinks, it must look like a cluster of statues.


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[Assistant] Nath spots Jack sitting at the edge of the crowd beside his mother.


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[Assistant] He imagines grabbing Jack by the shirt collar to find out what he knows.


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[Assistant] For the past week, his father has called the police every morning asking for new information.


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[Assistant] But Officer Fisk says only over and over that they are still investigating.


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[Assistant] If only the police were here now, Nath thinks. Should he tell his father? Jack stares at the ground in front of him, as if he is too ashamed to look up. And then, when Nath himself glances back to the front, the coffin has already been lowered into the ground. The polished wood, the white lilies fastened to its top, vanished just like that.


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[Assistant] Nothing but the blank space where it had once stood. He's missed it all. His sister is gone. Something wet touches his neck.


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[Assistant] He reaches up to wipe it away and discovers that his whole face is wet. That he's been crying silently.


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[Assistant] On the other side of the crowd, Jack's blue eyes are suddenly fixed on him, and Nathan blots his cheek in the crook of his arm.


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[Assistant] A thin line of backs filing toward the parking area and the street.


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[Assistant] In light of Nath's high grades and the tragic situation,


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[Assistant] And Nathan himself will decide not to attend commencement.


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[Assistant] Some of the neighbors circle the lees, squeezing their arms and murmuring condolences. A few of them pat Hannah on the head as if she's a tiny child or a dog.


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[Assistant] Except for Janet Wolfe, her usual white doctor's coat replaced by a trim black suit. James and Marilyn don't recognize most of them. By the time Janet reaches her, Marilyn's palms feel grimy, her whole body dirty.


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[Assistant] Like a rag passed from hand to soiled hand, and she can barely stand Janet's touch on her elbow.


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[Assistant] On the other side of the grave, Jack stands off to the side, waiting for his mother, half hidden in the shadow of a big elm.


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[Assistant] And Hannah, trapped at her parent's side by a thicket of adults, watches her brother nervously. What are you doing here? Nath demands.


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[Assistant] Up close he can see that Jack's shirt is dark blue, not black.


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[Assistant] Nate's voice cracks, and he hates himself for it.


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[Assistant] I gotta go, Jack says. My mom is waiting. A pause. I'm really sorry about your sister. He turns away, and Nathan catches him by the arm. Are you


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[Assistant] He's never grabbed anyone before and he feels tough doing it. Like a detective in a movie. You know, the police want to talk to you. People are beginning to stare.


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[Assistant] James and Marilyn hear their son's raised voice and look around, but he doesn't care.


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[Assistant] He leans in closer, almost to Jack's nose. Look, I know she was with you that Monday. For the first time, Jack looks Nathan the face, a flash of startled blue eyes. She told you?


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[Assistant] Nath lurches forward so that he and Jack are chest to chest. Blood throbs in his right temple. She didn't have to tell me. Do you think I'm stupid? Look, Nath, Jack mumbles, if Lydia told you that I- He breaks off suddenly.


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[Assistant] As Nath's parents and Dr. Wolf come within earshot.


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[Assistant] Nath stumbles backward a few steps, glaring at Jack, at his father for interrupting.


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[Assistant] Fine. Jot glances at Nay, then at the adults.


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[Assistant] He waits until the wolves have started down the curving path out of the cemetery before grabbing Nath by the shoulder. What's the matter with you? he hisses. Picking a fight at your sister's funeral.


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[Assistant] Behind his mother, Jack gives a quick backward glance. And when his gaze meets Nath's, there's no doubt, he is frightened. Then he turns the curve and is gone. Nath lets out his breath. That bastard knows something about Lydia. You don't go around making trouble. You let the police do their work. James, Marilyn says, don't shout.


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[Assistant] She touches her fingers to her temple as if she has a headache and closes her eyes.


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[Assistant] To Nath's horror, a dark drop of blood runs down the side of her face. Now it's only a tear, stained black by mascara, leaving a dirty gray trail on her cheek.


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[Assistant] Her small heart awash in pity reaches up to take her hand. But her mother doesn't notice.


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[Assistant] In a moment, Hannah contents herself by clasping her own fingers behind her back.


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[Assistant] James fishes in his jacket pocket for his keys. I'm taking your mother and sister home. When you've cooled off, you can walk. As the words leave his mouth, he winces.


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[Assistant] But already it takes all his strength to keep his own face from crumpling.


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[Assistant] To stop his own knees from buckling and spilling him to the ground. He turns away and grabs Hannah's arm. Hannah at least always does what she's told.


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[Assistant] Nath sinks down on the roots of the elm and watches his parents head back toward the car. Anna trailing after them with one wistful backward glance. His father doesn't know what Jack is like.


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[Assistant] Jack has lived down the street from them for 11 years, since he and Nath were in the first grade. And to Nath's parents, he is just a neighbor boy.


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[Assistant] The scruffy one with the dog in that old secondhand car. In school though, everyone knows. Every few weeks a different girl. Every girl the same story. Jack doesn't date.


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[Assistant] There are no dinners out, no flowers, no boxes of chocolates and cellophane wrap.


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[Assistant] He simply drives the girl out to the point or the drive-in or a parking lot somewhere and spreads a blanket across the backseat of his car. A week or two later, he stops calling and moves on.


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[Assistant] He's known to make a specialty of deflowering virgins. At school, the girls are proud of it, like they've joined an exclusive club.


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[Assistant] Clustered at their lockers, they whisper a giggling, salacious play by play. Jack himself talks to no one.


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[Assistant] It's common knowledge that he's alone most of the time.


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[Assistant] His mother works night shifts at the hospital six nights a week. He does not eat in the school cafeteria. He does not go to the dances. In class, he sits in the back row, picking the next girl he'll ask for a ride. This spring he had picked Lydia.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nath huddles in the cemetery an hour, two hours, three.


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[Assistant] Watching the cemetery workers stack the folding chairs, gather the flowers.


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[Assistant] He dredges up every single thing he's ever heard about Jack. Every fact, every rumor. To begin to blur.


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[Assistant] And by the time he is ready to head home, he is bubbling with a terrible fury. He tries to imagine Lydia with Jack, tries desperately not to picture them together. Did Jack hurt her somehow? He doesn't know. He knows only that Jack is at the heart of everything, and he promises himself he will find out how.


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[Assistant] Only when the gravediggers lift their shovels and approach the open grave does Nathan clamber to his feet and turn away.


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[Assistant] As he skirts the edge of the lake and turns onto their street.


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[Assistant] He spots a police car parked outside Jack's house.


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[Assistant] About goddamn time. Nay, thanks.


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[Assistant] He sidles closer to the house, slouching below the line of windows. Behind the screen, the front door stands open, and he climbs the porch stairs on his toes, sticking to the edges of the worn boards, making sure they don't squeak. It's his sister they're talking about, he tells himself with each step. He has every right. At the top, he leans toward the screen door.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He can't see anything except the entryway. But he can hear Jack in the living room, explaining slowly, loudly, as if it's the second or third time. She had skipped ahead into physics. Her mom wanted her in with the juniors. You were in that class. Aren't you a senior? I told you, Jack says, impatient. I had to take it over. I failed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Dr. Wolf's voice now. He has a B plus in the class this term.


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[Assistant] The sound of his sister's name in the policeman's voice.


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[Assistant] So crisp and official, as if it were nothing more than a label, startles Nathan. It seems to startle Jack, too. There's a sharpness to his tone that wasn't there before. We were friends, that's all.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Several people said they saw the two of you together after school in your car. I was teaching her to drive. Nath wishes he could see Jack's face. Didn't they know he must be lying? But the policeman seems to accept this. When was the last time you saw Lydia? The policeman asks now. Monday afternoon, before she disappeared.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What were you doing? We were sitting in my car and smoking. Pause as the policeman makes a note of this. And you were at the hospital, Mrs. Wolf? Doctor. The policeman coughs gently. Pardon me, Doctor Wolf. You were at work? I usually take the evening shift, every day except Sundays. Did Lydia seem upset on Monday?


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[Assistant] Another pause before Jack responds. Lydia was always upset. Because of you, Nath thinks.


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[Assistant] About her grades, about her parents, about her brother leaving for college, lots of things. He sighs then for real, and when he speaks again his voice is brittle, ready to snap. How should I know?


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[Assistant] Nath backs away from the door and creeps down the stairs. He doesn't need to hear anymore. At home, not wanting to see anyone.


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[Assistant] He slips upstairs to his room to ruminate over what he's heard. There's no one for him to see anyway.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] While Nath fretted under the elm tree, his family has dispersed. During the car ride, Marilyn doesn't look at James once, focusing instead on her knuckles, picking at her cuticles, fiddling with the strap of her handbag.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He's filled with a deep longing to burrow against her, to feel her weight and warmth surrounding him, shielding him from everything else.


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[Assistant] But something scratches and scratches at the edge of James's mind.


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[Assistant] When the police had asked if he wanted a copy of the autopsy, he had given them his office address. Then, yesterday, a thick manila envelope appeared in his mail cubby, and he decided he'd made a mistake. He didn't want to see it. Ever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At the same time he could not bring himself to throw it away.


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[Assistant] It would be there, he thought, if he ever changed his mind. He had never expected to.


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[Assistant] It is lunchtime and the office is almost empty. Only Mirna.


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[Assistant] The department secretary still sits at her desk, changing the ribbon of her typewriter. All the other office doors are shut. Their frosted glass windows dim.


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[Assistant] Now James unlocks the drawer, takes a deep breath, and slits the envelope open with his finger.


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[Assistant] He has never seen an autopsy report before and expects charts and diagrams. But it opens like a teacher's progress report.


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[Assistant] The subject is a well developed, well nourished, oriental female. It tells him things he already knows. That she was 16 years old, 65 inches tall. That her hair was black, that her eyes were blue. It tells him things he hadn't known. The circumference of her head, the length of each limb. That a small crescent moon scarred her left knee.


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[Assistant] It tells him that there were no intoxicants in her blood.


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[Assistant] That there were no signs of foul play or sexual trauma.


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[Assistant] But that suicide, homicide, or accident could not yet be determined.


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[Assistant] The cause of death was asphyxia by drowning. And then it begins in earnest.


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[Assistant] The chest is opened using a Y-shaped incision.


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[Assistant] He learns the color and size of each of her organs. The weight of her brain.


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[Assistant] That a white foam had bubbled up through her trachea and covered her nostrils and mouth like a lace handkerchief.


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[Assistant] That her alveoli held a thin layer of silt as fine as sugar.


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[Assistant] That like dough, they took the impression of a fingertip. That when they were sectioned with a scalpel, water flowed out.


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[Assistant] But in her stomach were snippets of lake bottom weeds, sand,


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[Assistant] The skin of her head and neck had reddened to her shoulders. But due to the low temperature of the water, she had not yet decomposed.


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[Assistant] But that the skin of her fingertips was just beginning to peel off like a glove.


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[Assistant] The office air conditioning clicks on and a cool breeze floats up from the floor. His whole body trembles as if he's caught a sudden lasting chill. With his toe, he closes the vent, but he can't keep his hands from shaking.


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[Assistant] He balls them into fists and clenches his jaw to stop his teeth from chattering.


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[Assistant] In his lap, the autopsy report quivers like something alive.


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[Assistant] You can't imagine telling Marilyn that these things could happen to a body they love. He doesn't ever want her to know.


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[Assistant] Better to leave it as the police summed it up, drowning. No details to catch in the crevices of her mind. The air conditioning shuts off.


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[Assistant] Silence ballooning to fill the room, then the whole department. The weight of everything he's read settles on him, crushing him to his chair. It's too heavy. He cannot even lift his head.


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[Assistant] It's Louisa at the door, still wearing the black dress she'd worn at the funeral that morning. Oh, she says, I'm so sorry. I didn't think you'd come in after. She stops. It's okay. His voice crackles at the edges like old leather.


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[Assistant] Then she comes to stand beside him and gently takes the papers from his hands. Shouldn't be here, she says, setting them on his desk. James shakes his head. With one hand he holds out the report.


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[Assistant] Luisa looks down at the sheaf of papers and hesitates.


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[Assistant] She grows stiller and stiller, until at the end of the report, she rises and takes James's hand.


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[Assistant] You shouldn't be here, Louisa says again. It's not a question.


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[Assistant] With her other hand, she touches the small of his back and he can feel her warmth through his shirt. And she says, why don't you come to my apartment? I'll cook you some lunch. And he nods.


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[Assistant] Our apartment is a third floor walk up, only six blocks from campus.


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[Assistant] Outside apartment 3A, Louisa hesitates. Just for a moment.


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[Assistant] Then she unlocks the door and lets the men and leads him straight to the bedroom. Everything about her is different.


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[Assistant] The flex of her limbs, the texture of her skin, even her taste is different. Slightly tangy, like citrus, as he touches his tongue to hers.


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[Assistant] When she kneels over him to undo the buttons of his shirt, her hair curtains her face.


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[Assistant] James closes his eyes then, lets out a long shuddering sigh.


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[Assistant] Afterward, he falls asleep with Louisa still atop him. Since Lydia was found, the only word he can bear to use for it, the little sleep he's had has been restless. In his dreams, no one but him remembers what has happened to Lydia. He alone is acutely aware, and over and over he must persuade Marilyn, Nath, complete strangers, that his daughter is dead.


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[Assistant] I saw her body. One of her blue eyes was gone. Now, still slick to Louisa with sweat, he sleeps soundly for the first time in days. A dreamless sleep. His mind for the moment gone blissfully blank.


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[Assistant] At home, in their bedroom, Marilyn too wills her mind to go blank. But nothing happens.


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[Assistant] For hours trying to sleep, she has been counting the flowers on her pillowcase.


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[Assistant] Not the big red poppies that sprawl across the cotton, but the blue forget-me-nots of the background pattern. The chorus dancers behind the divas. She keeps losing track, moving from 89 back down to 80.


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[Assistant] Crossing a fold in the fabric and forgetting which are accounted for, which have yet to be numbered.


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[Assistant] By the time she reaches 200, she knows that sleep is impossible. She can't keep her eyes closed. Even blinking makes her jittery.


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[Assistant] Whenever she tries to lie still, her mind worries to life like an over-wound toy. Upstairs there is no sound from Hannah. Downstairs, no sign of Nath.


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[Assistant] At last, just as James sinks into sleep across town,


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[Assistant] She rises and goes where her thoughts have been all this time. Lydia's room. It still smells like Lydia.


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[Assistant] Not just the powdery flowers of her perfume, or the clean scent of shampoo on her pillowcase, or the trace of cigarette smoke.


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[Assistant] Karen smokes, Lydia had explained when Marilyn sniffed suspiciously one day. It gets all on my clothes and books and everything. No.


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[Assistant] When Marilyn breathes in deep, she can smell Lydia herself under all those surface layers. The sour sweet smell of her skin. She could spend hours here.


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[Assistant] Drawing the air up and holding it against her palate like the bouquet of a fine wine. Drinking her in.


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[Assistant] In this room, a deep ache suffuses her. As if her bones are bruised. But it feels good, too. Everything here reminds her of what Lydia could have been. Prince of Leonardo's Vitruvian Man. Of Marie Curie holding up a vial.


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[Assistant] Every poster she'd given to Lydia since she was a child still hung proudly on the wall.


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[Assistant] Since childhood, Lydia had wanted to be a doctor, just as her mother once had.


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[Assistant] Last summer she'd even taken a biology course at the college so that she could skip ahead into physics.


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[Assistant] On the bulletin board hang blue ribbons from years of science fairs. An illustrated periodic table.


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[Assistant] A real stethoscope that Marilyn had special ordered for her 13th birthday.


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[Assistant] The bookshelf is so full of books that some are crammed in sideways at the top. A brief history of medicine, she reads upside down. Rosalind Franklin and DNA.


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[Assistant] All the books Marilyn had given her over the years to inspire her, to show her what she could accomplish. Everywhere, evidence of her daughter's talent and ambition.


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[Assistant] A fine layer of dust has already begun to coat everything.


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[Assistant] For a long time, Lydia had shoot her out when she came to vacuum and dust and tidy. I'm busy, Mom, she had said, tapping the tip of her pen against her textbook.


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[Assistant] And Marilyn would nod and kiss her on the head and shut the door behind her. Now there is no one to turn her away.


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[Assistant] But she looks at Lydia's boot, tipped on its side on the carpet, thinks of her daughter kicking it off, and lets it lie.


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[Assistant] Somewhere in this room, she is sure is the answer to what happened. And there, on the bottom shelf of the bookcase,


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[Assistant] Marilyn had given Lydia her first diary the Christmas she was five.


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[Assistant] A flowered one with gilt edges and a key lighter than a paperclip.


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[Assistant] Her daughter had unwrapped it and turned it over and over in her hands, touching the tiny keyhole as if she didn't know what it was for.


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[Assistant] We're writing down your secrets, Marilyn had said with a smile. And Lydia had smiled back up at her and said, but mom, I don't have any secrets. At the time, Marilyn had laughed. What secrets could a daughter keep from her mother anyway?


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[Assistant] Still, every year she gave Lydia another diary. Now she thinks of all those crossed out phone numbers.


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[Assistant] That long list of girls who said they barely knew Lydia at all. Of boys from school. Of strange men who might lurch out of the shadows. With one finger, she tugs out the last diary, 1977. It will tell her, she thinks, everything Lydia no longer can. Who she had been seeing, why she had lied to them, why she went down to the lake.


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[Assistant] The key is missing, but Marilyn jams the tip of a ballpoint into the catch and forces the flimsy lock open.


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[Assistant] Across town, James wakes in a blurry haze. It's almost evening and Louisa's apartment has grown dim. I have to go, he says, dizzy with the thought of what he has done.


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[Assistant] And Luisa wraps herself in the sheet and watches him dress. Under her gaze his fingers grow clumsy.


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[Assistant] He miss buttons his shirt not once, but twice. And even when he gets it on properly, it doesn't feel right.


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[Assistant] It hangs strangely, pinching him under the arms, bulging at his belly.


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[Assistant] Good night, he says finally, lifting his bag. And Louisa says simply, good night, as if they're leaving the office, as if nothing has happened.


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[Assistant] Only in the car, when his stomach begins to rumble, does he realize there'd been no lunch at Louise's apartment. That he had never actually expected there to be.


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[Assistant] And while James clicks on his headlights and eases the car into motion.


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[Assistant] Stunned at how much has happened in one day.


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[Assistant] Staring out at Jack's house, where the porch light has just turned on.


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[Assistant] Curls up in her bed, sifting through each detail of the day.


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[Assistant] The white spot on each of her father's knuckles as he grasps the steering wheel.


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[Assistant] The tiny beads of sweat that clung to the minister's upper lip, like dew.


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[Assistant] A soft thump the coffin made as it touched the bottom of the grave. Small figure of her brother. Spied through the west-facing window of her room.


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[Assistant] Rising slowly from Jack's front steps and trudging home, Ed bowed, and the faint


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[Assistant] Questioning Creek of her mother's bedroom door opening.


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[Assistant] Anna wraps her arms around herself and squeezes, imagines comforting her mother, her mother's arms comforting her in return. Marilyn.


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[Assistant] Unaware that her youngest is listening so closely, so longingly.


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[Assistant] Flots her eyes and replaces the diaries on the shelf and makes herself a promise. She will figure out what happened to Lydia. She will find out who is responsible. She will find out what went wrong.


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[Assistant] Hi grammarians. Today I want to talk about this idea in English that we call agreement. So I'm going to teach you how to be agreeable and make it so that all of your sentences get along really well. Let me, let me give you an example. The dog barks.


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[Assistant] It's funny because the S seems to, seems to migrate, seems to move from one part of the sentence to the other. So what you wouldn't say is,


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[Assistant] I know that's, that seems strange that you wouldn't want to have the S follow the other S, but you actually only want to have one of these in a sentence. So the dog barks, the dogs


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[Assistant] When there's only one of something, strangely, in the present, you know, in the present tense, it takes this S.


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[Assistant] Bake. A cake. Which admittedly is a fun sentence to say. But this is not, in standard English, this is not correct.


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[Assistant] It doesn't, it doesn't exhibit what we call agreement.


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[Assistant] Similarly, you also wouldn't say, we bakes a cake.


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[Assistant] If you're familiar with the Lord of the Rings books or movies, if you remember Gollum, the character Gollum, this is a weird little bug-eyed critter who's just kind of obsessed with the one ring.


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[Assistant] He has this very particular way of speaking that is not, strictly speaking, a standard. Uhm, just wild about that ring.


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[Assistant] And the way he refers to everything is he just throws on an S, uh, on the end of every word, he uses every verb. So if he's talking about, you know,


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[Assistant] This, this magic ring that he's very fond of, which he calls the precious. Uh, he wouldn't just say, I love it. He'd say, I loves it.


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[Assistant] Like so. And that's not correct. That does not, that does not show agreement.


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[Assistant] You can figure out whether or not you are using agreement in your sentences if you sound like Gollum.


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[Assistant] Because if Gollum were being grammatical, he would say, I love it.


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[Assistant] So this is, this is the sense that I want you to develop is you listen to yourself speak and you ask, do I sound like Gollum, the little ring monster?


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[Assistant] Because if you do sound like Gollum, then you're probably not operating under the, the agreement rules of standard American English. Or you're just doing a Gollum impression.


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[Assistant] That's the basic idea behind agreement.


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[Assistant] Hank, I do not know how you can eat when our boy is so close to the edge.


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[Assistant] And I will be your instrument of change. I will tutor you and flashcard you until you claw your way up to a C-. I hate letter grades.


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[Assistant] Maybe this explains why he hates taking tests and why his grades are so bad. I swear to you now, Hank, I will love that boy no matter how special he is.


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[Assistant] Oh, my sweet, sweet boy. Look at you, you. Come here. Come give your mama a hug. Okay.


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[Assistant] Hank, the school did not want to discriminate against the special needs kids, so they're letting them go. And I think it was the right decision.


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[Assistant] I cannot believe they let this happen to you. Somebody will pay for this.


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[Assistant] Lay off him, Hank. He might not know what ten is.


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[Assistant] Well, I knew all along he was gonna pass. I guess our boy is special after all.


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[Assistant] You cannot blame the district for shaking things up. We're lucky they didn't shut the whole school down.


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[Assistant] I wonder what's gonna happen to Principal Moss.


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[Assistant] Goldilocks season, honey. It'll pick up. Propane may be a gas, but it's like a rock.


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[Assistant] Apparently he communicated with Pat on something called MySpace.


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[Assistant] But sir, we already have a cell sheet to inform people.


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[Assistant] Have you guys heard of this MySpace? Of course, it's the best part of my life right now. I don't understand it. Why do you want to communicate with strangers?


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[Assistant] Yes, Boomhauer, that's exactly why I like to deal with people in person. That way you know what you're getting.


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[Assistant] Huh, I guess this MySpace thing is really working.


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[Assistant] Donna, this is terrible. This is no way to represent Strickland.


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[Assistant] Take this site down immediately before anyone else sees it.


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[Assistant] But there's nothing on there about the propane or the propane accessories.


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[Assistant] I don't know why Strickland is on MySpace. The whole thing is like a contest to see who can make the biggest ass of themselves.


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[Assistant] Welcome to Strickland. I'm Hank. I'm actually here to buy propane from Joe Jack. Right here. Preferably one that you freaked.


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[Assistant] Melinda, no. Pull down your shirt. This is a workplace, so get back to work.


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[Assistant] This grill offers more than enough heat to do the job.


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[Assistant] No, our customers don't need to know about this.


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[Assistant] Fine, Donna, you want me to blog what I'm thinking? I'll blog what I'm thinking.


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[Assistant] Oh, that's supposed to scare me, huh? Are your four thousand friends gonna come out of the computer and get me?


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[Assistant] Donna, we should probably talk about what happened yesterday.


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[Assistant] Thank you, Roger. Now we can finally get back to work.


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[Assistant] Uh oh, it's back. Roger, I thought you took this down.


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[Assistant] The powers are growing, honey. We gotta get a hold of Donna and talk some sense into her.


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[Assistant] Well, someone's gotta know where she lives. I mean, she had that contest, you know, the sleeping over.


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[Assistant] Sure, Donna was a little lazy at work, but she was never like this.


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[Assistant] Dear God, she's written every day for the last four years. No wonder she never got any work done at Strickland.


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[Assistant] Anything? No, and I'm up to her last week.


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[Assistant] Wait a minute, I've got something. She's got a date at Goober Smooches on Friday.


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[Assistant] We all know where it is, Enrique. The date's tonight. We'll go after work. I want to go now.


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[Assistant] No, Donna, we're your co-workers and we want to talk to you.


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[Assistant] No, we're real people and we're here to do this face to face.


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[Assistant] Now then, would you like to tell me why you're so angry?


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[Assistant] Well, maybe you could have figured out some way to use that.


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[Assistant] Donna, we could have worked everything out if we just talked about things, instead of attacking each other behind a computer.


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[Assistant] Strickland propane is a family. And like a family, we shouldn't know each other's inner thoughts. That's what's so creepy about MySpace.


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[Assistant] Hey, that's my cell sheet. But I don't know if that needs to be flashing.


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[Assistant] Hello grammarians. Let's talk about the progressive aspect. So we talked about the simple aspect as something that is just the most bare form. It's what you see here. I walk, I will walk, I walked. But aspect allows us to talk about things that are ongoing.


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[Assistant] And that's what we call the progressive, because it's progressing, it's going, it's happening. Uhm, so if we are telling a story and we are inside that moment, we can use the progressive aspect. So I walk becomes, in the present,


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[Assistant] I am walking. So the way the progressive works is that it takes the form of to be for whatever the subject of the sentence is, in this case, I, and it changes the verb into an ing verb. That's what it does. That's what the progressive does. And its effect is to say that something is ongoing.


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[Assistant] Likewise for the future. So we're not gonna change the walking part. We're just gonna put this am part into the future, which is like so. I will be walking. That's the future progressive.


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[Assistant] So the way to remember the progressive aspect is for me to hideously butcher the writing.


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[Assistant] Conjugating here is just a word that means, uh, tube.


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[Assistant] Verbs in different tenses and aspects, but I really want you to focus on the fact that we've got this B and this ing.


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[Assistant] So just remember be and ing, and that's how you form the progressive. So no matter whether or not it's happening in the past, it's still I was walking. So the part that changes is the, is the be, is the verb to be. I was walking, I am walking, I will be walking. The part that doesn't change is the walking.


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[Assistant] And that's how you express that something is ongoing. That something is continuously happening in the telling of the story. Understanding this will enable you to master time. You can learn anything. David out.


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[Assistant] I wish I could touch a star. But how? Oh! Let's go and find Big Nut Brown Hair! Yes, he'll know!


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[Assistant] The stars are very far away. If we are going to touch one...


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[Assistant] Look at all the sparkling stars. Yes, so many.


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[Assistant] Oh, it's no good. We're never going to touch a star. Yes we are. Let's go. Okay, but where are we going?


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[Assistant] I guess we sort of got to touch a star after all, didn't we?


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[Assistant] Well sure we don't need one, Hank, but I want one. And I am prepared to pay for it myself.


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[Assistant] Bobby, get ready for the biggest, flattest TV you have ever seen in your life.


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[Assistant] I shopped around all day and the good flat screen still cost a lot more than I have in my savings.


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[Assistant] I will get the money somehow. I just have to come up with a clever invention. Something that lights up and that kids put on their shoes.


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[Assistant] Well, this is amazing. I am in for a thousand. I will buy a gigundo new TV. For Hank, it'll be 79 inches of


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[Assistant] Men, our stock has lost 20% in a few days.


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[Assistant] Is there any chance we can return our stocks at the earlier price?


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[Assistant] No, I will not be a failure, or look like one. I have got to win at this. We are overdue. Come on, you idiot, tell us something brilliant!


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[Assistant] We need to study America and invest in what America wants to buy. Okay? Good. What? What do people like to buy?


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[Assistant] What does Joe blow by? Beats me. I give up. Then we are going on a field trip.


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[Assistant] America, roll up your sleeve. Peggy Hill is about to take your pulse.


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[Assistant] Chocolate snack cakes are sold out too, but not


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[Assistant] Bill is middle-aged, obese, with disposable income and poor impulse control.


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[Assistant] You know, I know it's just Bill, but something doesn't feel right about this. Do you think we should tell him?


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[Assistant] Hugely expensive, but that does not matter anymore. I am so excited I can finally tell you. I have discovered a sacred gold mine.


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[Assistant] So, we made all this crazy money just by studying Bill.


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[Assistant] I don't know. Everybody's so cool. It's not about being cool, Bill. Most people aren't cool. This is about what regular Americans are going to buy. Now, digital cameras. What do you like? Well...


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[Assistant] Oh, dang it. I was gonna get Hank a lazy boy with the fridge in it. They have those!


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[Assistant] Now that Bill's melted down, he won't be any help anymore.


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[Assistant] Yeah, besides we didn't do anything wrong. Oh, come on. We use him for our own gain until we broke him and then we cast him aside? Then, in a desperate attempt to regain our love, he lost everything he owned.


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[Assistant] Well, I guess we could sell off our holdings to pay off Bill's mortgage ourselves.


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[Assistant] I'm her nephew, Eric, from Minneapolis. My condolences. I live next door to your aunt. What a nice lady. We used to chat about puppies and serial killers through the fence. Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. I thought you were daily.


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[Assistant] Morning, Baron. Count. Captain. Mr. Turtleby.


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[Assistant] This can't be good. Maybe we should move down the alley.


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[Assistant] Not so good. Constant loud noises have made me realize how much I missed my wife. I'm parted by dust.


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[Assistant] I swear, if it wasn't for the possibility of being electrocuted, I'd buy this house.


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[Assistant] My head feels funny. Does it look swollen to you? Probably just the stress of this whole ordeal.


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[Assistant] Well, it was very nice to meet you little yellow thing. Bye!


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[Assistant] He followed me all the way to visit you little field mouse. Hello, what's your name?


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[Assistant] That's all he ever says. I think he's too young to talk. Oh?


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[Assistant] Hmm, well, I think he's a... Oh, I know, he's probably...


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[Assistant] Wow, he can swim really well. No, he's over there. No, look.


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[Assistant] Okay, last week things got a little hot, but I promise not to flip over the board tonight.


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[Assistant] Fine. I'll hit them all with Joseph and his football buddies. But don't blame me when your dinner conversation stinks. Tell you what.


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[Assistant] You guys keep at it. I'm just gonna go wait outside for my parents.


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[Assistant] This is a homemade chocolate chip waffle topped with strawberries and whipped cream and surrounded by a bacon perimeter. Guess I was feeling


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[Assistant] First a five star breakfast and now free cash? Dude, your parents are competing for your love! You're like a child of divorce! What?


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[Assistant] I didn't know kids with divorced parents had it so good. Oh, it's a sweet gig.


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[Assistant] My mom and dad are trying to prove who loves me more. What should I ask for next?


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[Assistant] Eh, guess I'm just feeling a little down today, you know?


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[Assistant] She does so many little things to let me know how much she cares.


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[Assistant] Well, it's a rock concert and I'd need to stay out a little past curfew. Guess I'll just ask.


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[Assistant] The concert would probably end at about the same time I was being offered marijuana at the Get In Get Out the other night.


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[Assistant] You know, something that could safely deliver me home when there's no one I could count on to pick me up.


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[Assistant] Joseph, a lesser man would have stopped at concert tickets. But I...


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[Assistant] Uhm, hey, you guys need help unloading anything?


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[Assistant] More family stuff? Last night didn't get it out of your system?


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[Assistant] Hanging out with you guys is all kinds of great, but tonight's the concert at the Fun Zone.


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[Assistant] You know, there's an arcade game I wanna play, but I just remembered. It's a one-player game, so I'll have to play by myself. I'll check you later.


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[Assistant] It's awful, Joseph. My only moment of privacy today was in the bathroom. And even then, my mom sat outside the door and sang to me.


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[Assistant] Well, I was planning to go to the concert, but... Hi, Piggy Hill. I love Cane Scattersmith.


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[Assistant] I was faking. Now don't get me wrong, I was upset when you forgot me. I would have gotten over it eventually, but then I found myself at the center of a full-blown gift-giving competition. And that's not a bad place to be.


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[Assistant] Wakey, wakey, rise and shine. Sun is almost up and the weather's fine. What's up? Good morning, little field mouse. Oh, uhm, I mean field mice. Good morning. Wow, such a big family.


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[Assistant] There's no place quite as special as our home, is there?


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[Assistant] You know what I've been wondering? Was grandpa a good dancer? Because, no offense, there's no way I got my moves from either of you.


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[Assistant] You know, all this stuff about grandpa got me worrying that maybe I don't know enough about you.


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[Assistant] Like, when you were my age, did you practice kissing on your hand or your pillow?


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[Assistant] This thing is like a treasure map of grandpa. Can I come with you when you slap the butt of some brunette nurses at the VA? No.


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[Assistant] You know dad, you never answered my questions about you.


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[Assistant] How'd you choose which side of the bed you'd sleep on? And did you start cuddling right away, or did you build up to it?


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[Assistant] Congratulations. This is so exciting. Of course, I don't know what an affiliate is, but I'm just happy you're happy.


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[Assistant] Dale, are you sure you'll be okay with Nancy away in Dallas? You need a home-cooked meal?


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[Assistant] Nope. And with Nancy being away, I figured we'd hang out all the time. Couple of bachelors out on the town, up to no good. But things are the same.


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[Assistant] How tall are you? Four foot eleven. Oh, right on. That's a hundred fifty centimeters. Hey, I sound tall in Canada.


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[Assistant] I wonder if I'm thinner there too. Keep talkin'.


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[Assistant] But dad, Canada's metric system makes so much more sense. A yard, a foot, an ounce. That's so random. Why not measure things in squirts and dog's tails?


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[Assistant] Hello grammarians. Let's talk about reflexive pronouns, and just as a word of warning, this means I'm going to be talking about myself a lot. What I mean is that in English we have this distinction between the personal pronoun, uhm, so for example, me, and its reflexive pronoun, which is myself.


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[Assistant] And we use these pronouns in very specific cases. So I'm gonna show you what all of those reflexive pronouns look like, uh, contrasted with their personal pronoun forms, and then we're gonna talk about how we use them. So, so in the first person we say, uhm, personal pronoun is me, the reflexive pronoun is myself.


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[Assistant] The first person plural personal pronoun is us, and the reflexive form of that is ourselves. Then in the second person, both plural and singular, the personal pronoun is you.


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[Assistant] And then in the reflexive it can either be yourself when you're addressing one person or yourselves when the you you are talking to consists of more than one person.


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[Assistant] The singular third-person pronouns look like this. It, her, and him. And the reflective versions are as follows. Itself, herself, and himself.


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[Assistant] Finally, the personal pronoun them becomes the reflexive pronoun themselves.


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[Assistant] Now all of these are what we would call object pronouns. They can all be the object of a verb. So they're never the doers, they're always the doees.


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[Assistant] With the exception of you or it, none of these pronouns, uh, can be the subject of a sentence. In standard American English, it is not grammatical to say, me eat a cookie, for example. It's part of why Cookie Monster sounds so funny.


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[Assistant] So then the question becomes, when do you use these? So the place for these object pronouns to go is in the back end of a sentence, what we call the predicate, uh, where the object of the verb lives. So for example, she poked me, she is the subject of the sentence.


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[Assistant] It is the do-ee, it is the thing that something is done to and not the do-er. So that's when you'd use object pronouns generally. But, when do you use reflexive pronouns?


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[Assistant] You use reflexive pronouns when the subject and the object of a sentence are the same thing. Let me show you an example sentence. Janelle made herself breakfast.


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[Assistant] As opposed to the other possibility, which is Janelle making breakfast for someone else, Janelle made us breakfast. And in this case, this, this usage is not reflective. She's not doing a thing for herself or to herself. She's doing, she's making breakfast for other people. And so you just use the regular personal object pronoun there.


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[Assistant] You can only use a reflexive pronoun when the subject and the object of the sentence are the same thing. Janelle is the same thing as herself. Janelle is not the same thing as us, so we would say us here and not ourselves.


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[Assistant] How about this one? Roderick saw me in the mirror. Now I am not named Roderick. I'm not the same thing as Roderick. And if I were writing a sentence about myself, I would say, I saw myself in the mirror.


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[Assistant] Roderick and I and me are not the same person. I and myself are the same person. The same person as Roderick is Roderick.


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[Assistant] So, if we were to say Roderick saw Roderick in the mirror, we would render that as Roderick saw himself.


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[Assistant] Because the subject here and the object here are the same thing.


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[Assistant] So remember, you use reflexive pronouns when the subject and the object of a sentence are the same thing.


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[Assistant] It's really easy to get tripped up this way, especially if there's a compound object in the sentence.


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[Assistant] For example, you can talk to Vidya or myself. I see this all the time. Uh, and in standard American English, this is not correct because you is not the same thing as me.


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[Assistant] And it's easy to get confused because you're talking about two, two people here in this, uh, in this object. And that's a little befuddling. It kind of throws you off. And so there's a test you can do. If you're unsure of whether or not it should be Vidya or myself, or Vidya or me, which is what I would say, how do you tell?


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[Assistant] Take the other person out of the object. Just for a little bit. So would you say, you can talk to myself? Or would you say, you can talk to me?


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[Assistant] Well, since we know that you is not the same thing as myself, and you can only use reflexive pronouns when the subject and the object are the same thing, the answer is me.


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[Assistant] So then, we bring Vidya back, we bring the other part of the object back, and it becomes, you can talk to Vidya, or me.


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[Assistant] So when in doubt, sub it out. Take the other part of the object.


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[Assistant] And just pretend it's not there and just think about how the subject and the object connect.


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[Assistant] Chances are you won't actually end up using a reflexive pronoun. Perform that little check and you'll never go wrong. You can learn anything. David out.


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[Assistant] Joseph won't be joining. Thanks to my tutelage, he's a level 6 survivalist. He's been trained to use boys like yours as food and shelter.


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[Assistant] Oh yes, beautiful ceremony. You didn't get us a gift.


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[Assistant] The Gribbles prefer a romantic gift to the practical. Point is, our obligation is fulfilled. I'll be awaiting your thank you note.


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[Assistant] What we gotta do is get that man out of the picture. Let's see. Too complicated. Too messy. We'd need a lion.


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[Assistant] I like mischief. I wanna help. Me too! If I can reach just one child through candy and matches, it'll all have been worthwhile.


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[Assistant] So, what's the plan, Dale? The old distressed motorist routine. We'll tell Wesley our van is broken, he'll undoubtedly invite us in to use the phone, and then offer us a cup of cocoa, giving Hank plenty of time to secure the rogue brothers.


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[Assistant] Sorry Hank, we told him everything. He wouldn't stop spraying!


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[Assistant] Hey, hey, hey, hey, I know what you're doing. You're trying to flush someone down Patton's toilet, aren't you? Uh, well, it was my dad's last request.


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[Assistant] See, he was a veteran and- I don't care if he was George S. Patton himself, I'm sick of all this. Guys come in here all the time trying to flush the dead relatives down that toilet. And you know what happens each time? My toilet gets clogged. And you know who has to pay to unclog it? Me! But my dad's- Ow!


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[Assistant] World War II was the last great war. Man, the Russians did all the dirty work for you guys. Now Desert Storm, that was real gut check. Desert Storm? You guys barely had time to eat a falafel before you


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[Assistant] This is about animal migration, so we don't want to just see a static shot of a shark coming to the cage going past.


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[Assistant] The only way to get these shots of the sharks moving and traveling and on this grand journey was to get out and swim with them.


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[Assistant] The first thing we do is try to size up the shark. Is this shark aggressive? Is he relaxed? If they look mean, they generally are mean.


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[Assistant] If the shark is really scarred up and scratched and missing teeth and half of its tail is bitten off, that's like a brawler. It's just like you go to the pub, you see a guy with bloody knuckles and a black eye, you don't run up and put your camera right in his face and take his picture.


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[Assistant] You have to ment- mentally tell yourself and fight that feeling of, to wanna flee from this animal.


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[Assistant] The biggest sort of danger is not the shark that you can see, it's the shark you don't see.


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[Assistant] You're able to get out of the cage. You can do all kinds of things. You can get silhouette shots.


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[Assistant] You can swim along with the animal, you can zoom in on the teeth and you can, it just opens up a whole new world.


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[Assistant] Four of them at a time, that one swim up at the surface coming out, and I decided to swim out to it, getting a nice shot, then I realized, whoa, there's one down there, there's one over here, and there's one behind me, I saw you looking at me going, get back, get back! And that was pretty sketchy, but uhm, man.


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[Assistant] There's nothing like getting outside of the cage of these apex predators.


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[Assistant] We're filming the fastest land animal in the world, the cheetah.


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[Assistant] Captures 1500 frames per second.


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[Assistant] And they're moving towards the hurt. Perfect. Let's go get them.


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[Assistant] There's a whole line of wildebeest lining up on one side of her and a small herd of zebra on the other. This is her fourth day hunting and she still hasn't made a kill. She's got to eat and there's so, so do her cuffs.


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[Assistant] I don't think I have changed or washed the trousers that I'm wearing right now for the past 17 days.


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[Assistant] If she makes a kill and we can't shoot it, I think I'm gonna find myself working at the bank or a supermarket or maybe...


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[Assistant] It's been almost, almost an hour. They're still sitting under our car.


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[Assistant] So the mother's coming back now to retrieve her cubs from underneath our vehicle.


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[Assistant] One of the, one of the three cubs get, get stamped by a zebra. During a hunt a mother, one of the cubs just got stamped by a zebra. It's dead.


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[Assistant] Bobby, would you do me a favor and stand up? I just want to see if you still can.


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[Assistant] Come on, Bobby, why don't you come out and help us put up Fourth of July decorations?


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[Assistant] Almost every god dang word that comes out of his mouth lately is sarcastic, and he's even lazier than usual, if that's possible.


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[Assistant] I don't know what to do here. I've already taken away everything Bobby considers fun. Except the plastic ice cubes, cause we all use them.


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[Assistant] I want to thank you all for coming, and now I give you Washington Crossing the Delaware in Lights.


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[Assistant] That guy has an unfair advantage. As a former firefighter, he can push the pyrotechnic envelope while still taking all necessary precautions.


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[Assistant] You bet I will. There's no way I'm letting Rainy Street down again.


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[Assistant] I'm trying to sleep. Well, you succeeded. Now try to wake up. You're not missing church two weeks in a row.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm sorry if the greatest story ever told doesn't have enough twists and turns for you, Bobby. Now get dressed and get your butt on your bike and ride to church.


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[Assistant] Stealing money from his own mother's purse? Who does that?


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[Assistant] Isn't there some prison we can take him to? Make him pee in front of some criminals? That'll scare him straight.


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[Assistant] I got so worked up about Bobby and this deal with Milton Street, I accidentally put 87 octane in the truck. I guess I'll be knocking and pinging my way through this tank.


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[Assistant] Well alright, Bobby. Sounds like they talked some sense into you.


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[Assistant] Peggy, just to make sure we outdo Heck Dorland, me and the guys are heading out to John Redcorn's firework stand. Now I know it's dangerous, but now is not the time to play it safe. Alright then, be careful.


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[Assistant] For the last time, John Redcorn, I am not a narc. Now I've got a stack of 20s and a tarp for the back of my truck. Let's make this happen.


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[Assistant] Boy, wait till heck Dorland sees all this. Have you ever seen a grown man cry besides Bill? Well, you're about to. Uh, I guess we've all seen Dale cry too.


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[Assistant] Alright, here we go. Get ready for some taunting.


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[Assistant] Hey heck, we just wanted to invite you over for a real fireworks display. You're gonna see it from here anyway, you may as well have a front row seat.


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[Assistant] I've been saving these plans for our nation's sesquibicentennial, but dang it, we're in a crisis situation.


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[Assistant] Yep, I know what I've said about paper mache in the past, but for my country and to shut up Milton Street, I was willing to put my contempt aside.


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[Assistant] Well, I didn't make it to services this morning, Bobby. I was kinda busy here.


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[Assistant] It's getting windy. I better go make sure Uncle Sam's head isn't exposed to the elements.


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[Assistant] Oh Hank. Uncle Sam is gone, Peggy. He's, he's gone.


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[Assistant] I know who. Heck Dorland. And he is gonna have hell to pay. That bastard fireman and everyone else on Milton Street. This means war.


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[Assistant] Can I have everyone's attention? Now this is all that remains of Uncle Sam.


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[Assistant] There's no way they can tie us to the crime. No god dang way.


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[Assistant] Okay, we're gonna bombard them with rotten eggs, fruit, incendiary dog bombs, and sooner or later, they'll take off to shower, leaving the shed exposed.


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[Assistant] Load up them damn fruit, man. Damn fire.


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[Assistant] They're down to two Miltonians. Come on, let's go steal their fireworks.


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[Assistant] It's okay, son. You did a stupid reckless thing, but you made it right.


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[Assistant] We raised a good boy, Hank. Yes, we did.


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[Assistant] A boy who's gonna continue to do the right thing by cleaning up every bit of this mess. Okay.


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[Assistant] If you can forgive my eavesdropping, I can help your boy with his sins. I'll take him to my church.


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[Assistant] Nobody, someone's being born.


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[Assistant] Come on, Bobby. Your dad asked us to gather as much ladybird poop as we can find. We're moving out at 2100 hours. I don't know how many old clocks that is, but we'll figure it out together.


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[Assistant] Oh Bobby, that's bad. That's real bad.


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[Assistant] You took the wrong message from what that preacher was screaming at you. You shouldn't go throwing rocks at others until you've thrown a bunch of rocks at yourself.


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[Assistant] Besides, saving souls ain't your job. That position has been filled in heaven by the big man and on screen by Morgan Freeman.


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[Assistant] Well thanks, Hank. I'd love to see your little sparkler show, but I'll have my flame-resistant Kevlar protected hands full. Oh, and uh, dibs on the alley. I'm gonna need room for a cherry picker and two forklifts. Cherry picker?


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[Assistant] Happy Fourth, Hank. I stopped by to see if y'all had any fireworks left.


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[Assistant] Where's that kid from? Applebee Street. Applebee sucks. Agreed.


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[Assistant] Absolutely claustrophobic is, is hacking this blind, but I think we're going to get some great stuff in the end. Uh, 12 feet away from the, uh, the peregrines and, uh, hole down the bottom of the blind, uh, makes it kind of difficult to keep equipment in. And I stay roped in the entire time I'm in here.


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[Assistant] It's really neat to watch the falcons stooping.


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[Assistant] And try to get within a range with a high definition camera and a wide angle lens to actually get some really cool


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[Assistant] Shots right on the bird's level from a couple of feet away.


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[Assistant] When you're in it, you've gotta paddle backwards. We have these flippers on.


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[Assistant] You can't see where you're going, so every now and then you'd have to stop and peek through a little, little peephole. We were able to get within


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[Assistant] 10-15 feet to get some really extraordinary shots.


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[Assistant] People, I've been on the horn with the National Propane Gas Consortium. Y'all are looking at the newest inductee into the propane hall of flame.


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[Assistant] Oh shoot, I requested a booth next to the man's room.


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[Assistant] Dang it, what in the Sam hell is going on here? You're using my name and about 90% of my slogan.


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[Assistant] Ray Roy, what do you say to your old man buying you a drink? Just one, shoot, I'm ready to drink you, bro!


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[Assistant] Oh, we goin' to, uh, Son, what's the bad part of Memphis called? Memphis. Yeah, that's where we headed.


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[Assistant] Tookie. Sorry. Papa got dibs on that one. Stand in line, squirt.


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[Assistant] Oh, for crying out loud, it's, what, it's two o'clock in the afternoon.


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[Assistant] Dang it, I'm trying, Hank, but I got to make it up to my boy for neglecting him all these years. He got into propane cause of me.


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[Assistant] Oh hell son, if we can get past me abandoning you and never supporting you, we can get past this. What do you say we call it even? Fair enough.


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[Assistant] Save it, Junior, you're punchin' the heavy bag. You two put Hank in this position?


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[Assistant] Damn, my breath stinks like blood and peppermint.


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[Assistant] Yeah, and why Hank was trying to keep us apart.


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[Assistant] Oh hell, we forgot all about saving Hank Bacon.


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[Assistant] Alright, here's what we gonna do. We gonna take us a hot shower and a little nap. Then we gonna fix things the way fellas like us fix things. And then we ain't ever gonna see each other again.


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[Assistant] You know how to do a first class hospitality suite, don't you?


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[Assistant] Welcome to the Strickland Hospitality Suite. We got us a scrumptious selection of bizzites in the back room.


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[Assistant] Well, now that everybody's got a pretty girl in his lap, I'd like to talk about leniency for my employee, Hank Hill. Set up! Everybody run! Rayroy, lock the door!


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[Assistant] Now, you all reasonable men, surely you can find forgiveness in your hearts for old Hank before your wives get here.


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[Assistant] Wait, I'm in the Hall of Flame? All of propane owes you a debt. Most importantly, I owe you a debt. Thanks, old top.


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[Assistant] Congratulations, Hank. Here, let me help you with your jacket.


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[Assistant] People are coming here to see you. Mr. Strickland, we've got a reception in the Crystal Room at 3pm where you'll be the guest of honor.


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[Assistant] I'm entrusting you with it until the ceremony tomorrow night. Do not make me regret it.


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[Assistant] Keep an eye on your friend. He's tore up pretty bad. Usually it's a woman involved, but apparently a couple of dudes named Strickland did it to him.


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[Assistant] Mr. Hill, your guilt hardly seems to be at issue, so we can skip right on to the punishment phase, which I'll give you a preview, will be severe.


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[Assistant] Buck? Well, we're kinda in the middle of our disciplinary hearing. Like the one in 84. Very well then. We'll see you shortly.


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[Assistant] That was Buck Strickland. His hospitality suite is open.


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[Assistant] Mr. Hill, the Board of Governors needs to adjourn to caucus about your case. You stay put.


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[Assistant] I'm in my third term as president of the propane gas consortium.


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[Assistant] Mr. Hill, we had an opportunity to talk with your employer, Buck Strickland. He convinced us that not only should your actions last night be forgiven,


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[Assistant] Your actions over your 20 years of service are deserving of the highest honor. He was very persuasive.


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[Assistant] Accordingly, the Board of Governors has voted unanimously to award you this Hall of Flame jacket.


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[Assistant] You've done well to find them. But it's getting late. I think it's time we went home.


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[Assistant] We sat in every chair in the hotel, dude.


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[Assistant] The details of the equation of course is a good algebra exercise, but the conceptual thing, the conceptual thing in this equation is


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[Assistant] This is my sister. She's got black hair and blue eyes.


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[Assistant] Yeah, like a date. If there's a lull in the conversation, just put a breadstick in your mouth to cover.


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[Assistant] There is no greater sign that a competition is legitimate than the chartering of a bus.


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[Assistant] Wow. I guess it's a good thing we blindly followed you here instead of using a map. Or common sense. Well what are we waiting for? To the beefabegos! Go!


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[Assistant] Don't worry about Ron, things get pretty intense around here. The smell of blood in the air doesn't help.


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[Assistant] It looks prime, but there's gotta be a flaw somewhere.


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[Assistant] There are new ones. Oh, donkeys are funny. I like them.


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[Assistant] But I really love dogs.


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[Assistant] Oh, donkeys are funny. I like them.


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[Assistant] Move along, kids. You wanna have a conversation? Do it in the back of class.


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[Assistant] Now we had a couple kids choke on erasers, but no hauntings. I'd probably remember something like that.


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[Assistant] When my wife and I split up, she got the money and the house, and I was living in a car. Then she got the car too, so this is a logical choice.


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[Assistant] I'll just get the cradle of little milks, and that's all my stuff.


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[Assistant] Sure gonna be different sleeping in a place where bells don't go off every 50 minutes.


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[Assistant] Hey Bill, which of these bad boys fits better you think? My roids a murder.


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[Assistant] Alright, your fancy party that you've been planning for days? Well here it is, the social event of the season. Is it everything you dreamed of, Bill?


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[Assistant] It never stops. Carl, put on your shoes. Carl, get up so I can vacuum. Carl, don't fall asleep on the toilet. Try living with that.


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[Assistant] Bill, I'm gonna need my... pillow. I'll go get it.


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[Assistant] Well, we have an interesting opportunity here. Katie and her ex-husband Yuri have lots of authentic looking merchandise at low, low prices.


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[Assistant] I supervise a lot of math teachers, Yuri, and your dividing by three skills need a lot of work. You forgot overhead debate.


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[Assistant] Gail is just pandering to the lowest common denominator. You have to find out who is below that and aim there.


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[Assistant] Poor Nancy. First Miguel and now this.


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[Assistant] Apparently, if Dale acts crazier, comforting pines is required by law to turn him over to a state mental hospital for an emergency psychiatric evaluation.


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[Assistant] Once Dale is admitted, the state hospital will test him, realize he's not crazy, and let him go.


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[Assistant] Either you have Dale evaluated by the same government that runs the post office, or by a guy who used to sell cheeseburgers.


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[Assistant] I assure you we do. After all, we made that.


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[Assistant] Here's a good way to save money. Instead of throwing away calendars, save them and use them again in 7 to 14 years. Huh.


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[Assistant] Bobby, with Principal Moss living nearby, the most important homework you could do is to cozy up to him.


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[Assistant] Exactly. He is almost done with his cigarette. When he finishes, I want you to go out there and- Aw, too late. He started another one.


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[Assistant] Like all Russians, he's just after your blue jeans. I'm afraid to put our laundry on the line.


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[Assistant] Yeah, he is, according to the state of Texas.


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[Assistant] Like perfume that smells like dirt or numbers used as letters.


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[Assistant] Let's take a look at the Macintosh interface for SketchUp. On top, we have some dropdown menu options.


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[Assistant] Using these drop down menus is a lot like the majority of other programs on a computer. Click on the title and more options become available. The Sketchup menu is specific to Mac and the most important option here is the preferences window.


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[Assistant] The file menu is again very similar to other interfaces.


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[Assistant] This is where we open, save, and import export files.


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[Assistant] The edit menu carries the all-important undo function as well as copy, paste, and more.


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[Assistant] The view menu contains a list of tool palettes that we'll be referring to in other videos. This top one, large tool set, is a popular one, but we'll return to it in the future. The draw menu has a lot of tools that we need to draw.


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[Assistant] But it's rare to use the drop-down menu to reach these as we generally will use icons seen below or keyboard shortcuts for more efficient modeling.


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[Assistant] Next, the camera menu will help us change the way we are viewing our model. The tools menu.


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[Assistant] The main differences happen between a Mac and a PC.


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[Assistant] On a PC, these windows are available in the sidebar in what is called the default tray.


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[Assistant] But Mac users will need to open them manually through this drop down menu. To open a window, you can click on the title and a window will appear.


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[Assistant] I prefer to place them to the left and minimize them when they aren't in use. To minimize the window, you can click on the top of the window as if there were a bar running across the top. To remove it from your view, you can click on the red circle. You may have multiple windows active, but again, it's helpful to minimize them and stack them off to one side. And lastly, the help drop down menu is great for those times when you can't find an action.


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[Assistant] For example, if you can't find the follow me tool, you can type follow me.


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[Assistant] And hover over the title and Sketchup will give you a clue as to where to find it. Under the dropdown menus is a toolbar with icons that can be clicked to activate a tool. Then below that is the viewport, which is where we draw.


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[Assistant] So the bottom left of the program, we'll see some text that will give us helpful hints as to what we may be trying to do.


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[Assistant] This text will change with the tools that are active.


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[Assistant] For example, my Tape Measure tool, when I activate that by clicking on the Tape Measure icon,


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[Assistant] There's never a need to click in that box. It's simply always awaiting for our input.


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[Assistant] Ah! The portrait completes itself. Granny rocking away in the driveway, tapping her toes to the fiddle, and setting a spell? Why you hate me? Why?


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[Assistant] I demand raccom pants. Stupid RV run over my container herb garden. Where I get mint from mojitos now?


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[Assistant] Customizing your toolbars on a Mac is going to look differently than on a Windows machine.


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[Assistant] As you can see, above the drawing area, there is a default toolbar that comes with SketchUp. To customize this, we can go to View, Customize Toolbar.


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[Assistant] And we'll be presented with a large menu of icons that we can add to our toolbar above.


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[Assistant] If you'd like to add x-ray mode, you can click and drag the icon


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[Assistant] You can also take away icons by clicking and dragging them off of the toolbar and letting go and they'll disappear from the toolbar. You can also change the way the icons appear by using the drop down menu in the lower left hand side. We can change it from icon only to icon and text.


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[Assistant] And you can see in the toolbar now each icon is labeled or I can change it to text only and then return back to icon only.


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[Assistant] But I can also use a smaller sized icon.


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[Assistant] Which will allow us to have more icons in the toolbar above.


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[Assistant] If I'd like to return to the default toolbar that comes when we download SketchUp, I can click and drag this toolbar up above and let go and it will return back to its default settings.


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[Assistant] Once I'm happy with the amount of icons or the selection of icons in my toolbar above, I can click on Done.


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[Assistant] So if you find yourself using a tool very often, you can customize your toolbar by adding the icon for easy access.


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[Assistant] Hey grammarians, today we're gonna talk about three of the relative adverbs in English, which is where, when, and why, and this over here is Peggy the dragon.


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[Assistant] And we're going to use the story of Peggy the Dragon in order to figure out how to use these relative adverbs.


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[Assistant] You may be looking at these words and thinking that they look an awful lot like question words. And you're right, they are. These are question words.