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[Assistant] There are hundreds of children here, said Bruno, without really thinking about his words before saying them. Only they're on the other side of the fence. A silence followed this remark.


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[Assistant] But it wasn't like a normal silence where it just happens that no one is talking. It was like a silence that was very noisy. Father and Gretel stared at him and he blinked in surprise.


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[Assistant] What do you mean there are hundreds of children over there? Asked father. What do you know of what goes on over there?


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[Assistant] Bruno opened his mouth to speak, but worried that he would get himself into trouble if he revealed too much. I can see them from my bedroom window, he said finally. They're very far away, of course, but it looks like there are hundreds, all wearing the striped pajamas. The striped pajamas, yes, said Father, nodding his head. And you've been watching, have you? Well, I've seen them, said Bruno. I'm not sure if that's the same thing. Father smiled.


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[Assistant] Very good, Bruno, he said. And you're right. It's not quite the same thing. He hesitated again and then nodded his head, as if he had made a final decision. No, she's right, he said, speaking out loud, but not looking at either Gretel or Bruno. She's absolutely right. You've been here long enough as it is. It's time for you to go home. And so the decision was made.


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[Assistant] Outside our classroom, Julia waited for me with her hands on her hips.


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[Assistant] She's been eating all that bread at that stupid job you got her? She's not supposed to eat any of that stuff, idiot.


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[Assistant] It's her epilepsy, idiot. You total idiot. Her dad has her on this special diet. He makes her special food. She's not supposed to eat bread or drink soda.


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[Assistant] And by the way, what's your problem with me anyway? I'd really like to know.


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[Assistant] Besides the fact that you called me an idiot six times in the last minute. Besides the fact that you shot a rubber band at my head.


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[Assistant] She waved all that away as if I had mentioned some silly detail.


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[Assistant] I'm talking about way before that. You've hated me forever. You've been giving me dirty looks since like the third grade. Are you going to pretend you haven't? I stared at her.


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[Assistant] Some feeling had started in my stomach and was traveling up to my face.


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[Assistant] And I knew that when it got there, I would turn bright red and hear the ocean. Which is what happens when I get put on the spot.


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[Assistant] If I don't cry, I turn red and hear the ocean. It's a lose lose situation. What are you talking about? I said.


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[Assistant] I have no idea, she said. I really don't.


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[Assistant] But a person knows when someone hates her. At least I do.


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[Assistant] She flung her arm down and her little silver watch flew off her wrist and hit the floor with a crack.


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[Assistant] A very sharp, final sounding sort of crack. Her precious watch.


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[Assistant] I'm not proud of this now, but that sound which echoed in the tiled hallway made me really happy. I sucked my bottom lip so that I wouldn't smile. Julia bent down to pick up the watch.


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[Assistant] I thought she would start to screech, but she just flipped it over in her hand and looked at it. A web of tiny cracks covered the face like a cobweb. Oh great. She puffed out her cheeks and exhaled slowly.


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[Assistant] This whole day just stinks, she said, and she walked away.


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[Assistant] On the way home, I found myself walking half a block behind Sal again.


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[Assistant] I'd learned not to run and catch up to him. He would only look at his sneakers and not talk.


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[Assistant] So I watched him bobbing along in his navy blue knit hat, his head going from side to side a little, like it always does when he walks.


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[Assistant] I think he thought that hat looked tough the way he had it pulled down to his eyebrows.


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[Assistant] Then Marcus came out of his dented front door next to the garage, wearing that green army coat he always wore. He started walking down the block, towards Sal.


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[Assistant] But it was a little late for that. Marcus was almost in front of him.


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[Assistant] I could have called out to Sal at that moment. It would have been easy. He would have had an excuse to turn around and start walking away from Marcus. And then Marcus might have stopped to talk to me for a minute. And Sal would have seen that it was all okay. He could have dropped his fear of Marcus right then and there.


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[Assistant] I've thought about this a lot, because I realized it would have changed everything that happened later. Instead, I watched.


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[Assistant] And what Sal did was squat down and pretend to tie his shoe. It was a plea for mercy.


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[Assistant] Dropping to tie your shoe was an I can't fight, I can't run, I bow down before you sort of a move.


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[Assistant] Plus, just in case some hitting did occur, it protected important body parts.


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[Assistant] I kept walking while Sal crouched there on the sidewalk and Marcus walked right by without even noticing him. And then Marcus walked right by me.


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[Assistant] Richard, Louisa, and Sal are coming with us to ABC Studio TV 15 on West 58th Street to see Mom try and win $20,000.


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[Assistant] Miranda, can you get me my sweater with the little buttons? Mom asks. She's nervous. And her voice sounds too high. If it's chilly in there, I won't be able to concentrate.


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[Assistant] Exactly. They might have the air conditioning on. I'm always too cold in air conditioning.


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[Assistant] I get the sweater and check myself out again in mom's closet mirror.


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[Assistant] I have on new jeans and a long sleeve shirt with flowers embroidered on the sleeves that I borrowed from Julia.


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[Assistant] Richard has even polished my shoes for me with his special shoe brush.


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[Assistant] I try to fluff my hair, but my brain says, what in the world are you fluffing your hair for? You know your hair doesn't fluff. And I stop.


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[Assistant] We walk downstairs and stop at Sal and Louise's door, which flies open as if they'd been standing right inside waiting for us.


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[Assistant] I look at Sal and he shrugs and says, She's been like this all morning. We are all very quiet on the subway.


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[Assistant] There are people in red blazers by the studio doors. Contestants to the left. One of them says, audience to the right.


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[Assistant] And suddenly I realize it's time to say goodbye to mom.


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[Assistant] She's standing there looking terrified and holding onto her bag with her sweater and her extra clothes and her breath.


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[Assistant] I go over and hug her while Richard gives her a kiss, and Louisa says, we love you. And Sal looks at the floor and says good luck. You're going to win, I say. I know it. Don't get your hopes up, Mom says. And then we watch her disappear behind a door.


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[Assistant] We walk into the studio, which is like a theater with all the $20,000 pyramid stuff up on the stage. Dick Clark's podium is there, and the word screens that swivel back and forth during the speed round, and two empty chairs facing each other in the winner circle.


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[Assistant] Everything looks artificial and kind of gloomy in the dim light.


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[Assistant] I'm thinking that one good shove could probably knock the whole thing over.


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[Assistant] There are a lot of people in the theater already. And we get seats about halfway back.


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[Assistant] They are red velvety seats. The kind you have to fold down before you sit on them.


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[Assistant] A guy with headphones comes out and talks to the audience about when to clap and when to be quiet.


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[Assistant] He points to these metal boxes attached to the ceiling that light up like exit signs. Only they say, applause, instead of exit.


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[Assistant] He explains that the signs will blink on and off to help us remember when to clap and when to stop.


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[Assistant] We have to practice with him. Clap, stop. Clap, clap, stop.


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[Assistant] It's a little silly, but Louisa and Richard are taking it very seriously. Sal and I laugh and dare each other to clap at the wrong time.


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[Assistant] The stage lights come on, and suddenly the whole set is glowing like July at the beach. Much more cheerful.


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[Assistant] Richard takes my hand. Dick Clark comes out and says hi to the audience, and Louisa starts talking about how she has always liked Dick Clark, how he has always seemed like one of the nicest people on television, and how now that she sees him, she thinks she likes him even more.


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[Assistant] Isn't it amazing, she asks, how he never seems to age? He looks just the same today as he did back in 1956.


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[Assistant] She says she might ask him for some autographs after the show for the old people at her nursing home. Because she's sure they would get a big kick out of that.


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[Assistant] Luisa is talking even faster than Mrs. Bindocker at the monthly tenant meeting. And then suddenly she is quiet. I look at her and see that she's biting her lips.


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[Assistant] Everything starts to happen very fast. There is music. Dick Clark makes a funny face like he's afraid he might be late, and he hops over to his podium. The celebrities take the stage. I've never heard of either one of them.


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[Assistant] The next thing I know, Mom is coming out with her hair clamped back in barrettes, looking smaller than ever. But she's wonderful. The speed round is a thing of beauty.


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[Assistant] Mom gets seven words out of seven every time and wins the cash bonus. Her celebrity is not as dumb as a bag of hair. In fact, her celebrity is not remotely dumb.


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[Assistant] The other contestant is good, but his celebrity speaks too slowly and says the word bat while giving clues for the word batter, an amateur's mistake.


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[Assistant] They lose that point and a couple of others. Before I know it, Dick Clark is leading mom over to the winner circle.


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[Assistant] This is it. I hear Richard whisper to himself. Ten thousand dollars.


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[Assistant] Ten thousand dollars, my brain says. Ten thousand dollars!


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[Assistant] Mom's celebrity looks determined. Mom looks scared. Dick Clark is smiling. He's the only one who looks relaxed.


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[Assistant] He's chatting with mom for a minute. And I know mom is trying to focus. To lift a corner of her veil so that she'll be able to see the big things. So that she can see the thread.


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[Assistant] Dick Clark is still talking, and I realize we never practice the chatting. I am suddenly afraid. I am hearing the ocean.


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[Assistant] How can mom lift her veil and see the magic thread with Dick Clark talking to her about her stupid job? I focus on mom and try to help her concentrate.


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[Assistant] Louisa is getting nervous again, and she starts whispering about Dick Clark. He doesn't age, I tell you.


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[Assistant] Dick Clark simply does not age. It's amazing. I'm chanting to myself. Magic thread. Magic thread.


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[Assistant] I think a woman wrote this letter, said Miss Halcombe.


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[Assistant] What should I do, Mr. Hartright? This mystery must be solved.


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[Assistant] Mr. Gilmore is coming to discuss the financial details of Ms. Fairley's marriage, and Sir Percival arrives on Monday to fix the date of the marriage, though Ms. Fairley does not know this yet.


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[Assistant] The date of the marriage. Those words filled me with jealous despair. Perhaps there was some truth in this letter.


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[Assistant] If I could find the writer, perhaps I would find a way to prove that Sir Percival Glide was not the honest man he seemed.


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[Assistant] I think we should begin inquiries at once, I said. The longer we delay, the harder it will be to find out anything.


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[Assistant] People in Limeridge remembered seeing the woman, but no one could tell us who she was or where she had come from. Finally I suggested asking the school teacher.


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[Assistant] As we approached the school door, we could hear the teacher shouting at one of the boys, saying angrily that there were no such things as ghosts.


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[Assistant] It was an awkward moment, but we went in anyway and asked our question. The teacher could tell us nothing.


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[Assistant] However, as we turned to leave, Miss Halcombe spoke to the boy standing in the corner. Are you the foolish boy who was talking about ghosts?


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[Assistant] On the 11th of June I arrived at Blackwater Park, Sir Percival's family home in Hampshire.


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[Assistant] The waiting was nearly over and how happy I was.


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[Assistant] The next day Laura and her husband would return home, together with Count Fosco and his wife, who were going to spend the summer at Blackwater.


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[Assistant] In the morning the housekeeper, Mrs Mitchelson, showed me round the house.


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[Assistant] It is very old and much of it is dusty and unused. Only one part of the enormous building is comfortable enough to live in. Later I explored the gardens and the park.


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[Assistant] The gardens are small and not well kept, and there are so many trees that the house feels shut in by them.


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[Assistant] I found a path through the trees, which after half a mile brought me to a lake. It was a damp, lonely place.


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[Assistant] The still dark waters of the lake and the long shadows from the tall trees gave it a gloomy air.


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[Assistant] Near the lake there was an old boathouse with some seats in it, so I went in and sat down for a rest.


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[Assistant] Oh Mrs Fairleigh, Mrs Fairleigh, tell me how to save your daughter. Tell me what to do.


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[Assistant] I protested strongly. I tried every argument I could but nothing would change the lawyer's mind.


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[Assistant] I've discovered, you see, that Sir Percival is always in debt and always in need of cash.


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[Assistant] My last effort has been to come here to try and persuade Mr. Fairley to oppose this demand from Sir Percival's lawyer. I am sorry to say I have not succeeded.


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[Assistant] Mr. Fairley wishes to avoid all responsibility for his niece's marriage arrangements.


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[Assistant] He says that his niece will not die before Supercivil anyway, so what is there to worry about? Mr. Gilmore stood up to go and picked up his hat. I shall complete the agreement and send it in.


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[Assistant] I have no choice. If I don't do it, Mr Fairlie will find another lawyer who will.


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[Assistant] But I tell you, Miss Halcombe, no daughter of mine should be married to any man alive under such an agreement as I am forced to make for Miss Fairleigh.


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[Assistant] I'm not a nervous person generally, but when I heard the sound of quick breathing under my seat I jumped to my feet in alarm. In fact, it was a dog.


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[Assistant] A small black and white dog with a bullet wound in its side.


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[Assistant] I carried the poor creature back to the house and sent for Mrs. Mitchelson to help me.


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[Assistant] When she came in and saw the dog lying on the floor, she cried out at once, Oh, that must be Mrs. Catherick's dog.


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[Assistant] Yesterday, she'd heard that her daughter Anne had been seen in the neighborhood, but no one knew anything.


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[Assistant] I tried to make my voice sound politely interested.


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[Assistant] I suppose you've known Mrs Cathric for some years?


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[Assistant] Oh no, Miss Halcombe, I never saw her before. She lives at Welmingham, twenty-five miles away. I had heard of her.


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[Assistant] Because of Sir Percival paying for her daughter to go to an asylum.


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[Assistant] But yesterday Mrs Catharick asked me not to mention her visit to Sir Percival. That was an odd thing to say, wasn't it, Miss? Odd indeed.


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[Assistant] But then we had to turn our attention to the poor dog which, despite our efforts, died a little while later.


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[Assistant] After a brief explanation to Laura and Marion, I hurried back to St John's Wood to find the cab driver whom they counted hired to collect Laura at the station.


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[Assistant] He wrote me a statement which he and the witness signed, saying that on the 26th of July 1850 he had driven a Count Fosco to the railway station where they had collected a Lady Glide.


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[Assistant] He remembered Lady Glide's name, he said, from the labels on her luggage.


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[Assistant] Then I went to Mr. Curl's office and presented him with the proof of Laura's identity, the letter from Sir Percival, the statement by the cab driver, the confession by the count, and the death certificate.


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[Assistant] Amazed, he congratulated me and agreed to accompany us to Limeridge the next day, where I attended to have Laura publicly received and recognised.


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[Assistant] At exactly eleven, Supercivil knocked and entered, with anxiety and worry in every line of his face.


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[Assistant] If I'm going to ask to be released from my promise to marry you.


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[Assistant] I'm not going to ask this. I respect my father's wishes too much.


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[Assistant] His face relaxed a little, but I saw one of his feet nervously beating the carpet.


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[Assistant] No, if we are going to withdraw from our planned marriage, it will be because of your wish, Sir Percival, not mine. Mine? he said in great surprise. What reason could I have for withdrawing?


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[Assistant] A reason that is very hard to tell you, she answered. There is a change in me.


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[Assistant] His face went so pale that even his lips lost their colour. He turned his head to one side. What change, he asked, trying to hide his nervousness.


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[Assistant] When the promise was made two years ago, she said, my love did not belong to anyone.


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[Assistant] Will you forgive me, Sir Percival, if I tell you that it now belongs to another person?


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[Assistant] Her tears started to fall and Sir Percival hid his face behind his hand so that it was impossible to know what he was thinking.


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[Assistant] He made no answer, and my temper got the better of me. "'Sir Percival,' I said sharply, "'have you nothing to say? You have already heard more than you have a right to hear.' "'But I didn't ask for that right,' he said, avoiding my question. "'I wish you to understand,' Laura continued.


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[Assistant] That I will never see this person again and that if you leave me you only allow me to remain a single woman for the rest of my life.


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[Assistant] All I ask is that you forgive me and keep my secret.


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[Assistant] I will do both those things,' he said, and he looked at Laura as if he was waiting to hear more.


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[Assistant] I think I have said enough to give you reason to withdraw from our marriage, she added quietly.


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[Assistant] No, you have said enough to make it the dearest wish of my life to marry you, he said, getting up and advancing towards her.


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[Assistant] Next, we sent Mrs. Milchelson away for a few days, and one night, Madame Fosco, Mrs. Rubel, and I moved the sleeping Miss Halcombe to an unused part of the house.


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[Assistant] I left for London in the morning with my wife, leaving Sir Percival to persuade Lady Glide that her sister had gone to Limeridge and that she should follow her, breaking her journey in London at my house.


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[Assistant] On the 24th of July, with my wife's help, I got hold of Anne Catharick and took her to my house as Lady Glide. However, when she saw no one she recognized.


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[Assistant] She screamed with fear and, to my horror, the shock to her weak heart caused her to collapse. By the end of the following day she was dead.


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[Assistant] Dead on the 25th, and Lady Glide was not due to arrive in London till the 26th. It was too late to change the plan. I remained calm and carried on.


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[Assistant] On the 26th, leaving the false Lady Glide dead in my house, I collected the true Lady Glide from the railway station and took her to Mrs. Rubell's house.


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[Assistant] The two medical men I had hired, shall we say, were easily persuaded to certify the confused and frightened Lady Glide as mentally ill.


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[Assistant] Then I gave her a drug and had Mrs. Rubell dress her in Anne Catherick's clothes.


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[Assistant] The next day, the 27th, she was delivered to the asylum, where she was received with great surprise, but without suspicion. The false Lady Glide was buried at Limeridge.


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[Assistant] One final question remains. If Ann Catherick had not died when she did, what would I have done?


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[Assistant] I would of course given her a happy release from the prison of life.


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[Assistant] This is Meg Wallitzer reading Here We Are by Dorothy Parker from Cosmopolitan.


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[Assistant] The young man in the new blue suit finished arranging the glistening luggage in tight corners of the Pullman compartment.


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[Assistant] The train had leaped at curves and bounced along straightaways.


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[Assistant] Rendering Balance a praiseworthy achievement and a sporadic one.


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[Assistant] And the young man had pushed and hoisted and tucked and shifted the bags with concentrated care.


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[Assistant] Nevertheless, eight minutes for the settling of two suitcases and a hat box is a long time.


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[Assistant] He sat down, leaning back against bristle green plush in the seat opposite the girl in beige. She looked as new as a peeled egg.


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[Assistant] Her hat, her fur, her frock, her gloves were glossy and stiff with novelty.


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[Assistant] On the arc of the thin, slippery sole of one beige shoe was gummed a tiny oblong of white paper.


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[Assistant] Printed with the price set and paid for that slipper and its fellow, and the name of the shop that had dispensed them.


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[Assistant] She had been staring raptly out of the window, drinking in the big-weathered signboards that extolled the phenomena of codfish without bones and screens no rust could corrupt.


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[Assistant] As the young man sat down, she turned politely from the pain, met his eyes, started a smile and got it about half done, and rested her gaze just above his right shoulder. Well, the young man said. Well, she said. Well, here we are, he said. Here we are, she said. Aren't we?


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[Assistant] No, he said. It isn't hardly half past six yet. It seems like later, she said. I guess it's because it starts getting dark so early. It does at that, he said. The nights are going to be pretty long from now on. I mean, well, it starts getting dark early. I didn't have any idea what time it was, she said.


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[Assistant] Everything was so mixed up, I sort of don't know where I am or what it's all about. Getting back from the church and then all those people and then changing all my clothes and then everybody throwing things and all. Goodness, I don't see how people do it every day. Do what? He said. Get married. She said.


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[Assistant] When you think of all the people all over the world getting married just as if it was nothing. Chinese people and everybody. Just as if it wasn't anything.


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[Assistant] But I just sort of got to thinking of them, all of them, all over everywhere, doing it all the time. At least, I mean, getting married, you know. And it's...


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[Assistant] Only you think of all the people, and you have to sort of keep thinking. It makes you feel funny. An awful lot of people that get married, it doesn't turn out so well, and I guess they all must have thought it was going to be great. Come on now.


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[Assistant] He said, this is no way to start a honeymoon with all this thinking going on. Look at us, all married and everything done. I mean, the wedding all done and all. Ah, it was nice, wasn't it? She said, did you really like my veil? You look great, he said, just great. Oh, I'm terribly glad, she said. Ellie and Louise looked lovely, didn't they? I'm terribly glad they did finally decide on pink. They look perfectly lovely.


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[Assistant] Listen, he said, I wanna tell you something. When I was standing up there in that old church waiting for you to come up, and I saw those two bridesmaids,


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[Assistant] I thought to myself, I thought, well, I never knew Louise could look like that. Why, she'd have knocked anybody's eye out. Oh really? She said. Funny. Of course everybody thought her dress and hat were lovely.


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[Assistant] But a lot of people seem to think she looked sort of tired.


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[Assistant] People have been saying that a lot lately. I tell them I think it's awfully mean of them to go around saying that about her. I tell them they've got to remember that Louise isn't so terribly young anymore, and they've got to expect her to look like that.


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[Assistant] Louise can say she's 23 all she wants to, but she's a good deal nearer 27.


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[Assistant] Well, she was certainly a knockout at the wedding, he said. Boy. I'm terribly glad you thought so, she said. I'm glad someone did. How did you think Ellie looked? Why, I honestly didn't get a look at her, he said. Oh really, she said.


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[Assistant] Well I certainly think that's too bad. I don't suppose I ought to say it about my own sister. But I never saw anybody look as beautiful as Ellie looked today. And always so sweet and unselfish too. And you didn't even notice her.


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[Assistant] But you never pay attention to Ellie anyway. Don't think I haven't noticed it.


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[Assistant] I do so like her, he said. I'm crazy for Ellie. I think she's a great kid. Don't think it makes any difference to Ellie, she said. Ellie's got enough people crazy about her. It isn't anything to her whether you like her or not. Don't flatter yourself, she cares.


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[Assistant] Only, the only thing is, it makes it awfully hard for me. You don't like her. That's the only thing.


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[Assistant] I keep thinking, when we come back and get in the apartment and everything, it's going to be awfully hard for me that you won't want my own sister to come and see me.


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[Assistant] Only, if you don't ever want to see them, that's your loss, not theirs. Don't flatter yourself. Oh now, come on, he said. What's all this talk about not wanting your family around? Why, you know how I feel about your family. I think your old woman, I think your mother's swell. And Ellie, and your father, what's all this talk?


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[Assistant] Well, I've seen it, she said. Don't think I haven't. Lots of people, they get married, and they think it's going to be great and everything, and then it all goes to pieces because people don't like people's families or something like that. Don't tell me. I've seen it happen. Honey, he said. What is all this? What are you getting all angry about? Hey, look, this is our honeymoon. What are you trying to start a fight for? Ah, I guess you're just feeling sort of nervous. Me, she said.


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[Assistant] What have I got to be nervous about? I mean, I mean goodness, I'm not nervous.


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[Assistant] You know, lots of times, he said, they say that girls get kind of nervous and yippy on account of thinking about... I mean...


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[Assistant] I mean, well, it's like you said, things are all so sort of mixed up and everything right now. But afterwards, it'll be alright. I mean, I mean, well, look, honey, you don't look any too comfortable. Don't you want to take your hat off? And let's don't ever fight, ever, will we? Ah, I'm sorry I was cross, she said. I guess I did feel a little bit funny.


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[Assistant] We won't be like a whole lot of them. We won't fight or be nasty or anything, will we? You bet your life we won't, he said. I guess I will take this darned old hat off, she said. It kind of presses. Just put it up on the rack, will you dear? Do you like it, sweetheart? Looks good on you, he said. No, but I mean, she said, do you really like it?


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[Assistant] Well I'll tell you, he said. I know this is the new style and everything like that and it's probably great. I don't know anything about things like that. Only I like the kind of a hat like that blue hat you had. Gee, I like that hat. Oh really? she said.


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[Assistant] Well that's nice, that's lovely. The first thing you say to me, as soon as you get me off on a train away from my family and everything, is that you don't like my hat.


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[Assistant] The first thing you say to your wife is you think she has terrible taste in hats. That's nice, isn't it?


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[Assistant] Now honey, he said, I never said anything like that. I only said.


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[Assistant] And that horrible old blue thing you think you're so crazy about, that cost $3.95. I don't give a darn what they cost, he said.


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[Assistant] I only said, I said I liked that blue hat.


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[Assistant] I don't know anything about hats. I'll be crazy about this one as soon as I get used to it. Only it's kind of not like your other hats.


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[Assistant] I don't know about the new styles. What do I know about women's hats?


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[Assistant] It's too bad, she said. You didn't marry somebody that would get the kind of hats you'd like. Hats that cost $3.95.


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[Assistant] Why didn't you marry Louise? You always think she looks so beautiful. You'd love her taste in hats. Why didn't you marry her? Oh no, honey, he said, for heaven's sakes.


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[Assistant] While you're talking about things like that, why didn't you marry Joe Brooks?


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[Assistant] I suppose he could have given you all the $22 hats you wanted, I suppose.


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[Assistant] Well, I'm not so sure I'm not sorry I didn't, she said. There.


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[Assistant] Joe Brooks wouldn't have waited until he got me all off alone and then sneered at my taste in clothes.


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[Assistant] He was so fond of you he didn't even send a wedding present. That's how fond of you he was.


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[Assistant] I don't want anything he gives you in our apartment. Anything he gives you, I'll throw right out the window. That's what I think of your friend Joe Brooks.


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[Assistant] I suppose my friends can correspond with me, she said. I didn't hear there was any law against that.


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[Assistant] Well, I suppose they can't, he said. And what do you think of that?


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[Assistant] I'm not gonna have my wife getting a lot of letters from cheap traveling salesmen.


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[Assistant] Joe Brooks is not a cheap travelling salesman, she said. He is not. He gets a wonderful salary. Oh yeaah, he said. Where did you hear that? He told me so himself, she said.


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[Assistant] Oh, he told you so himself. He said, I see. He told you so himself.


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[Assistant] You've got a lot of right to talk about Joe Brooks, she said. You and your friend Louise. All you ever talk about is Louise. Oh, for heaven's sakes, he said.


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[Assistant] What do I care about Louise? I just thought she was a friend of yours, that's all. That's why I ever even noticed her.


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[Assistant] Well, you certainly took an awful lot of notice of her today, she said.


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[Assistant] On our wedding day, you said yourself when you were standing there in the church, you just kept thinking of her. Right up at the altar. Oh, right in the presence of God. And all you thought about was Louise. Listen, honey, he said, I never should have said that.


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[Assistant] And me all the time thinking about all those people all over the world. And now us here all alone and everything. I know you get all mixed up.


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[Assistant] Only I did think, when you kept talking about how beautiful Louise looked, you did it with malice and forethought.


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[Assistant] I just told you that about Louise because I thought it would make you laugh. Well, it didn't, she said. No, I know it didn't, he said. It certainly did not. Ah, baby, we ought to be laughing too. Hell, honey lamb, this is our honeymoon. What's the matter?


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[Assistant] I don't know, she said. We used to squabble a lot when we were going together and then engaged in everything, but I thought everything would be so different as soon as you were married. And now I feel so sort of strange in everything. I feel so sort of alone. Well, you see, sweetheart, he said, we're not really married yet. I mean, I mean, well, things will be different afterwards. Oh hell. I mean, we haven't been married very long. No, she said.


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[Assistant] Well, we haven't got much longer to wait now, he said. I mean, well, we'll be in New York in about 20 minutes. Then we can have dinner and sort of see what we feel like doing. Or, I mean, is there anything special you want to do tonight? What? She said.


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[Assistant] What I mean to say, he said, would you like to go to a show or something?


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[Assistant] Why, whatever you like, she said. I sort of didn't think people went to theaters and things on their...


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[Assistant] Well, you see, she said, I've been perfectly terrible. What with all the excitement and everything, I never did thank poor old Mrs. Sprague for her berry spoon, and I never did a thing about those bookends the McMaster sent.


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[Assistant] And when you finished writing your letters, he said, maybe I could get you a magazine or a bag of peanuts. What? She said. I mean, he said, I wouldn't want you to be bored.


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[Assistant] What I thought, he said. I thought when we got in, we could go right up to the Biltmore and anyway leave our bags and maybe have a little dinner in the room, kind of quiet, and then do whatever we wanted. I mean, I mean, well, let's go right up there from the station.


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[Assistant] Oh yes, let's, she said. I'm so glad we're going to the Biltmore. I just love it. The twice I've stayed in New York, we've always stayed there. Papa and Mama and Ellie and I, and I was crazy about it. I always sleep so well there. I go right off to sleep the minute I put my head on the pillow. Oh, you do? He said.


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[Assistant] He rose, balanced a moment, crossed over and sat down beside her. Do you really have to write those letters tonight? He said. Well, she said, I don't suppose they'd get there any quicker than if I wrote them tomorrow. There was a silence with things going on in it.


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[Assistant] And we won't ever fight anymore, will we? he said. Oh no, she said, not ever. I don't know what made me do like that.


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[Assistant] It all got so sort of funny, sort of like a nightmare, the way I got thinking of all those people getting married all the time. And so many of them, it goes to pieces on account of fighting and everything. I got all mixed up thinking about them. Oh, I don't want to be like them. But we won't be, will we? Sure we won't, he said. We won't go all to pieces, she said. We won't fight. It'll all be different now we're married. It'll all be lovely.


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[Assistant] Reach me down my hat, will you, sweetheart? It's time I was putting it on. Thanks. I'm so sorry you don't like it. I do so like it, he said.


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[Assistant] You said you didn't, she said. You said you thought it was perfectly terrible. I never said any such thing, he said. You're crazy.


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[Assistant] Alright, I may be crazy, she said. Thank you very much. But that's what she said. Not that it matters, it's just a little thing. But it makes you feel pretty funny to think you've gone and married somebody that says you have perfectly terrible taste in hats. And then goes and says you're crazy beside.


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[Assistant] Now listen here, he said. Nobody said any such thing. Why, I love that hat. The more I look at it, the better I like it. I think it's great. That isn't what you said before, she said. Honey, he said, stop it, will you?


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[Assistant] What do you want to start all this for? I love the damned hat. I mean I love your hat. I love anything you wear. What more do you want me to say? Well, I don't want you to say it like that, she said.


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[Assistant] I mean in a few minutes we'll be getting into New York, and then we'll be going to the hotel, and then everything will be alright.


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[Assistant] I mean, well look at us. Here we are, married. Here we are. Yes, here we are, she said. Aren't we?


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[Assistant] Your kicker's lining up for an onside kick and the chances of regaining possession are slim. Stakes are high. Tension is higher. Your pulse? Racing. He kicks and you watch the ball land.


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[Assistant] Make every play feel this exciting with DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL and their unbeatable offers. Right now, new customers can make any $5 NFL bet and get $200 in free bets if your team wins. Check this out. In addition to the usual bets, everyone can boost their


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[Assistant] Harleys. To make things even sweeter, you can throw down on stepped up same game Harleys once per game day, all season long.


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[Assistant] So download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. Use promo code CHIME, K-E-I-M, to get $200 in free bets if your team wins. Just place a $5 bet


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[Assistant] Several days later Peska came to see me and asked for a quiet word in my ear. He had just returned from Paris. I have news for you, my friend, he said. You need not worry any more about the man at the opera. His body was found in the River Seine yesterday, and now lies in the morgue in Paris. He was killed by knife wounds to the heart. Count Fosco is dead?


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[Assistant] I saw the body with my own eyes. He was wearing a French workman's clothes and had a different name, of course, but he was the fat man we saw at the opera that night. No question. But how do you know this? I asked. Peska hesitated. A man brought me some information, he said. I had to see the body and send a report about it. A man? I said. What kind of man?


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[Assistant] A stranger, said Pesca. I didn't know him. A man with a scar on his left cheek.


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[Assistant] He saw the understanding in my face and held up his hand. No more questions, my friend. Please.


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[Assistant] We never spoke about it again, but I think Pesquet was telling me that the Brotherhood had taken their revenge.


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[Assistant] And so, Count Fosco, that extraordinary evil man, passed from this world.


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[Assistant] One afternoon after he left for work, she found a passage circled in his well-worn copy of Schopenhauer. In early youth, as we contemplate our coming life, we're like children in the theater before the curtain is raised, sitting there in high spirits and eagerly waiting for the play to begin. It is a blessing.


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[Assistant] And delved into the world as will and idea. This Schopenhauer was a genius. Why hadn't anyone told her? She was a reader. She had waded through some philosophy in her time. You just couldn't make any sense out of it. The problem was the terminology.


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[Assistant] She was a crossword ace, but words like eschatology? Hey!


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[Assistant] Yet Schopenhauer got right into the heart of all the important things. The things that really mattered.


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[Assistant] With Schopenhauer, she could take long excursions from the grim specter of impending death.


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[Assistant] In Schopenhauer, particularly in his aphorisms and reflections


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[Assistant] She found an absolute satisfaction for Schopenhauer spoke the truth and the rest of the world was disseminating lies. Her son-in-law helped her with unfinished business, will, mortgage, insurance. How should we do this, that and the other cremation, burial plot, et cetera. He told her all the stuff that her daughter couldn't tell her. He waited for the right moment and then got it all in. For instance, he told her that her daughter loved her very much.


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[Assistant] She knew she cringed at this revelation, for it was ditto with her, and she knew he could see it.


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[Assistant] Why couldn't she say to her own daughter three simple words, I love you? She just couldn't. Somehow it wasn't possible. The son-in-law didn't judge her. He had to be under pressure too. Was she bringing everyone in the house down? Is that why he was reading Schopenhauer? No. Schopenhauer was his favorite.


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[Assistant] Someone had to come out and tell it like it is, he would say, of the dour old man with mutton chops, whose picture he had pasted on the refrigerator, from what she had picked up from the son-in-law.


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[Assistant] Schopenhauer wrote his major work by his 26th birthday.


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[Assistant] According to the son-in-law, Schopenhauer spent the majority of his life in shabby rooms in the old Gentile section of Frankfurt, Germany that he shared with successions of poodles to keep him company while he read, reflected, and wrote about life at his leisure. He had some kind of small inheritance, just enough to get by, take in the concerts, do a little traveling now and then. He was well-versed in several languages.


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[Assistant] He read virtually everything written from the Greeks on, including the Eastern writers. Classical scholar.


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[Assistant] I had the mind to chew things over and make something of the puzzle of life.


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[Assistant] The son-in-law, eager to discourse, said Freud called Schopenhauer one of the six greatest men who ever lived.


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[Assistant] Nature, Thomas Mann, and Richard Wagner all pay tribute to this genius who had been written off with one word, pessimist.


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[Assistant] The son-in-law lamented that his works were going out of print, becoming increasingly harder to find. He was planning a trip to Frankfurt where he hoped to find a little bust of his hero. He had written to officials in Germany making inquiries. They had given him the brush off. He'd have to fly over himself.


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[Assistant] And she too began to worry that the works of this writer would no longer be available. She, who would be worms meat any day.


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[Assistant] Why? Because the truth was worthwhile. It was more important than anything really. She had had ten years of peaceful retirement.


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[Assistant] Time to think, wonder, contemplate, and then come up with nothing.


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[Assistant] But new vistas of thought had been opened by the curiously ignored genius with the white mutton chops, whose books were harder and harder to get.


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[Assistant] And whom the world would consider a mere footnote from the 19th century. A crank. A guy with an axe to grind. A hypochondriac. A misogynist.


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[Assistant] An alarmist who slept with pistols under his pillow. A man with many faults. Well, check anyone out. What do you find?


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[Assistant] For God's sake, how are you supposed to make any sense out of this crazy ass shit called life?


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[Assistant] If only she could have simply pushed a button and never have been born.


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[Assistant] The son-in-law took antidepressants and claimed to be a melancholiac. Did he always seem upbeat, comical, ready with a laugh?


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[Assistant] He had a sense of the absurd that she found annoying back in the old days.


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[Assistant] When she liked to pretend that life was a stroll down Primrose Lane. If you wasn't walking down the sunny side of the street, at least she was singing in the rain. Those were the days. What a fool.


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[Assistant] She encouraged the son-in-law to clown and philosophize, and he flourished when she voiced a small dose of appreciation or barked out a laugh. There was more and more pain and discomfort, but she was laughing more too. Schopenhauer. No rose without a thorn, but many a thorn and no rose. The son-in-law finessed all of the ugly details that were impossible for her, of all the people to come through.


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[Assistant] With her lungs temporarily clear and mineral oil enemas to regulate her, she asked her daughter one last favor, that they take her home just once more.


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[Assistant] They made an occasion of it and drove her up into the mountains for her granddaughter's seventh birthday party.


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[Assistant] Almost everyone in the picturesque resort town was there, and if they were appalled by her deterioration, they did not show it.


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[Assistant] But everyone came in and said hello and all of the bad stuff fell away for an entire afternoon.


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[Assistant] She was deeply touched by the warm affection of her friends. There were so many of them. My God, they loved her. Truly they did. She could see it. Couldn't bullshit her anymore. She could see deep into the human heart. She knew what people were. What wonderful friends. What a perfect afternoon. It was the last good thing.


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[Assistant] It was in the lungs in the bowel, much as the doctor said it would be. Hell, it was probably in the liver even. She was getting yellow, not just the skin, but even the whites of her eyes.


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[Assistant] There was a week in the hospital where they tormentored her with tests.


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[Assistant] That wiped out the last of her physical and emotional stamina.


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[Assistant] She followed her bed after a barium lower GI practically turned to cement and they had to give her a powerful enema. Diarrhea in the bed, the worst humiliation. Happens all the time. Don't worry, the orderly said. She was suffocating. She couldn't get the least bit of air. All the main players were in the room. She knew this was it. Just like that. Bingo. There were whispered conferences outside her room.


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[Assistant] They could look you over and peg you down to the last five minutes. She could see them give her that anytime now look. A minister dropped in there.


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[Assistant] That was the tip off. The fat lady was singing.


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[Assistant] When the son-in-law showed up instead of going to work, she looked to him in panic. She had been fighting it back, but now, he was there. He would know what to do without being asked. And in a moment, he was back with the nurse.


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[Assistant] They cranked up the morphine sulfate, flipped it on full bore. Still, her back hurt like hell. All that morphine and a backache. Just give it a minute.


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[Assistant] Someone went out to get hamburgers at McDonald's. Her daughter sat next to her holding her hand. She felt sorry for them.


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[Assistant] They were the ones who were going to have to stay behind and play out their appointed roles.


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[Assistant] Like Schopenhauer said, the best they would be able to do for themselves


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[Assistant] Hell was surely in the here and now, not in the hereafter. Or was it? She began to nod. She was holding onto a carton of milk. It would spill, like diarrhea in the bed all over again. Another mess. The daughter tried to take the carton of milk away. She held on defiantly. Forget the Schopenhauer.


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[Assistant] What a lotta crap that was. She did not want to cross over. She wanted to live. She wanted to live.


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[Assistant] The daughter rinsed the milk away. The nurse came back and cranked the morphine again. They were going for comfort. Finally, the backache, cartoons, all of that was gone. She was back on the farm in Battle Lake, Minnesota.


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[Assistant] She was nine years old and she could hear a little red rooster, Mr. Barnes, crowing at first light.


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[Assistant] And came her brother's heavy work boots clomping downstairs and the vacuum swoosh as he opened up the stern door.


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[Assistant] Her brother was making for the outhouse and presently Barnes would go after him, make a dive bomb attack. You couldn't discourage Mr. Barnes.


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[Assistant] She heard her brother curse him in the thwap of the tin feed pan hitting the bird. Mr. Byron's frontal assaults were predictable. From the sound of it, Fred walloped him pretty good.


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[Assistant] As far as Mr. Bynes was concerned, it was his barnyard.


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[Assistant] In a moment, she heard the outhouse door slam shut in another tin thwap. At Barnes. He was something. She should have taken a lesson. Puffed out her chest and walked through life.


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[Assistant] I want the biggest and the best and the most of whatever you got. There were people who pulled it off. You really could do it if you had the attitude.


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[Assistant] Our little red rooster was a mean little scoundrel, but he had a soft spot for her in his heart of steel, and he looked out for her, coot for her, and her alone.


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[Assistant] Later when young men came to see her, they soon arranged to meet her thereafter at the drugstore soda thong uptown.


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[Assistant] One confrontation with Barnes, even for experienced farm boys, was one too many. He was some kind of rooster, alright, and eccentric. Yeaah, she was back on the farm. She could feel her sister shifting awake in the lower bunk. It was time to get up and milk the cows. Her sister always awoke in good humor. Not her. She was cozy under a feather comforter, and milking the cows was the last thing she wanted to do.


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[Assistant] Downstairs, she could hear her mother speaking cheerfully to her brother as he came back inside, cursing the damn rooster, threatening to kill it. Her mother laughed it off. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. She could smell bacon in the pan.


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[Assistant] The coffee pot was percolating and her grandmother was up heating milk for her Ovaltine. She hated Ovaltine, particularly when her grandmother overheated the milk, burned it, but she pretended to like it, insisted that she needed it for her bones.


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[Assistant] And forced it down so she could save up enough labels to get a free decoder ring to get special messages from Captain Cody, that intrepid hero of the airwaves. She really wanted to have that ring, but there was a great depression, and money was very dear, so she never got the decoder, or the secret messages, or the degree in pharmacology. Had she been more like that little bany rooster, had she been a real getter, well,


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[Assistant] The main players were assembled in a room. She was nodding in and out, but she could hear. There she was in this apparent stupor that she was more aware than anyone could know. She heard someone say, somebody at McDonald's put everything on her hamburger instead of cheese and ketchup only. They were making an issue out of it. One day.


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[Assistant] When they were in her shoes, they would learn to ignore this kind of petty stuff. You couldn't blame them. That was how things were, that's all. Life. That was it. That was what it was. And here she lay, dying.


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[Assistant] Suddenly she realized that the hard part was all over now. All she had to do was let go. It really wasn't so bad. It wasn't anything special. It just was.


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[Assistant] She was trying to bring back Barnes one last time. That little memory of him had been fun. Why not go out with a little fun? She tried to remember his coloring. Orange would be too bright. Rust too drab. Scarlet too vivid.


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[Assistant] His head was a combination of green, yellow and gold, all blended in his breast and wings a kind of carmine red. No, not carmine.


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[Assistant] He was just a little red rooster, overly pugnacious and ingrate.


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[Assistant] He could have been a beautiful bird if he hadn't gotten into so many fights.


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[Assistant] He got his comb ripped off by a raccoon he'd caught stealing eggs in the hen house. A big bull raccoon that Barnes had fought tooth and nail until Fred ran into the hen house with his 410 and killed the thieving intruder. Those eggs were precious. They were income. Mr. Barnes was a hero that day. She remembered how he used to strut around the barnyard. He always had his eye on all of the hens.


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[Assistant] They were his main priority, some 30 or 40 of them, depending. They were his harem, and he was the sheik. Boy, was he ever.


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[Assistant] She remembered jotting down marks on a pad of paper one day when she was home sick with chicken pox.


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[Assistant] Each mock represented an act of rooster fornication. In less than a day,


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[Assistant] Mr. Bynes had committed the sexual act 47 times that she could see.


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[Assistant] And she didn't have the whole lay of the land from her window by any means. Why he often went out roving and carousing with hens on other farms. There were bitter complaints from the neighbors. Barnes could really stir things up. She had to go out in her bicycle and round him up. Mr. Barnes was a legend in the county.


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[Assistant] Mr. Barnes thought the whole world belonged to him and beyond that, the sun, the stars, and the Milky Way, all of it. Did it feel good or was it a torment? It must have been a glorious feeling, she decided.


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[Assistant] Maybe that was what Arthur Schopenhauer was driving at in his theory about the will to live.


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[Assistant] Mr. Barnes was the very personification of it.


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[Assistant] Of course it was hard work being a rooster, but Bond seemed the happiest creature she'd ever known.


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[Assistant] No matter how dull things got on the farm, she could watch barns by the hour.


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[Assistant] Barnes could even redeem a hot dog day afternoon in August. He wasn't afraid of anything or anybody. Did he ever entertain a doubt? Some kind of rooster worry? Never. She tried to conjure up one last picture of him. He was just a little banny, couldn't have weighed three pounds. Maybe Mr. Barnes


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[Assistant] We'd be waiting for her on the other side and would greet her there and be her friend again. She nodded in and out. In and out. The morphine was getting to be too much. Oh please God. She hoped she wouldn't puke.


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[Assistant] So much left unsaid, undone. Well, that was part of it. If only she could see Barnes strut his stuff one last time. Come on Barnes, stretch his stuff for me.


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[Assistant] Her brother, Brad, sitting there so sad with his hamburger.


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[Assistant] After a couple of beers, he could do a pretty good invitation to Mr. Barnes. Could he? Would he? For old times sake. Her voice was too weak. She couldn't speak. Nowhere near. Not even close. Was she dead already? Fading to black? It was hard to tell. Don't feel bad. My darling brother, don't mourn for me. I'm okay. One last thing, Sarah. I do love you, darling. Love you.


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[Assistant] Didn't you know that? Didn't it show? Not I'm so, so very sorry. The words wouldn't come. Couldn't come. She was so sick. You can only get so sick and then there was all that dope. Love. She should have shown it to her daughter instead of assuming. She should have been more demonstrative, more forthcoming. That's what it was all about.


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[Assistant] And love the Lord God Almighty with all your heart and mind and soul. You were sent here to love your brother. Do your best.


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[Assistant] There wasn't any tunnel or white light or any of that. She just... died.


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[Assistant] Are you my wife, and will not call me husband? My menace would call me Lord, I am your good man.


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[Assistant] But I would be loath to fall into my dreams again. I will therefore tarry in this part of the flesh and the blood.


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[Assistant] Fair love, you faint with one genuine word. And to speak truth, I have forgot our way.


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[Assistant] We'll rest us, Hermia, if you think it good, and tarry for the comfort of the day.


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[Assistant] One turf shall serve as pillow for us both. One heart, one bed, two bosoms, and one truth.


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[Assistant] Oh, take the sense, sweet, of my innocence. Love takes the meaning in love's conference. I mean that my heart unto yours is knit, So that but one heart we can make of it. Two bosoms interchain it with an oath, So then two bosoms and a single truth. Then by your side no bedroom me deny, For lying so, Hermia, I do not lie.


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[Assistant] It is meat and drink to me to see a clown by my trough. We that have good wits have much to answer for. We shall be flouting, we cannot hold. Good evening, Audrey.


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[Assistant] Good evening to you, sir. Good evening, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head. May pretty be covered. How old are you, friend?


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[Assistant] What's born in the forest here? Aye, sir, aye, thank God. Thank God, a good answer. Outreach? Faith, sir.


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[Assistant] So-so? So-so is good, very good, very excellent good. And yet it is not. It is but so-so. Aren't they wise?


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[Assistant] Aye sir, I have a pretty wit. Why, thou say'st well.


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[Assistant] Or it is a figure in rhetoric that drink being poured out of a cup into a glass by filling the one, to them to the other.


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[Assistant] For all your writers do consent that ipsy is he. Now you are not ipsy, for I am he. Which he is.


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[Assistant] He's uh, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown, abandon, which is in the vulgar, leave the society, which in the boorish is company of this female, which in the common is woman.


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[Assistant] Which together is abandon the society of this female or clowned or perished.


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[Assistant] Or to thy better understanding, diest. Or to wit, I kill thee.


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[Assistant] Make thee away. Translate thy life into death. Thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bassinado, or in steel. I will bandy with thee in faction. I will all run thee with policy. I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways. Therefore tremble and depart.


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[Assistant] Say with her that she loves me. Consent with both that we may enjoy each other. It shall be to your good. For my father's house and all the revenue that was owed to Roland's will I estate upon you.


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[Assistant] Let your wedding be tomorrow. Then there will I invite the duke and all his contented followers. Go you and prepare Alena for look you. Here comes my Rosalind.


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[Assistant] They shall be married tomorrow. And I will bid the duke to the nuptial birth.


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[Assistant] To her, it is not here, nor doth not here.


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[Assistant] Truly young gentleman, though there was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untunable.


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[Assistant] I counted for time lost to hear such a foolish song. God by you, and God by your voices.


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[Assistant] But my good lord, the boy is forest-born and has been tutored in the rudiments of many desperate studies by his uncle, whom he reports to be a great magician obscured in the circle of this forest.


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[Assistant] He has been a courtier as well. If any man doubt that, that he put me to my vacation.


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[Assistant] I've trod a measure, I've flattered a lady, I've been politic with my friend, smoothed with my enemy, I've undone three tailors, I've had four quarrels, and like to afford one. And how was that, Tina? Faith, we met.


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[Assistant] Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster. By my face, he is very swift and stententious. According to the fool's boat, sir, and such dulcet diseases. Now, to the seventh cause. How did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? Upon a lie, seven times removed.


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[Assistant] I did dislike the cut of a certain courteous beard. He sent me word if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was. This is called the retort courteous.


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[Assistant] If again it was not well cut, he disabled my judgement. This is called the reply churish. If again it was not well cut, he would answer, I speak not true. This is called the reproof valiant.


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[Assistant] If again it was not well cut, he would say, I lie. This is called the counter check quarrelsome. And so to the liar circumstantial and the lie direct. And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?


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[Assistant] I darest go no further than the lie of circumstantial, nor he darest not give me the lie direct, and so we measured swords!


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[Assistant] The fifth, the counter check quarrels. The sixth, the lie with circumstance. The seventh, the lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct. And you may avoid that too, with an if.


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[Assistant] I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an if.


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[Assistant] If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.


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[Assistant] Here's eight that must take hands to join in Hyman's bands if truth holds true contents. You and you, no cross shall part. You and you are heart in heart.


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[Assistant] You to his love must accord or have a woman to your lord. You and you are sure together as the winter to foul weather.


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[Assistant] While as the wedlock hymn we sing, feed yourselves with questioning, that reason, wonder may diminish, how thus we met, and these things finish.


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[Assistant] To one his lands withheld, and to the other a land expelled at large, a potent dukedom. First, in this forest.


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[Assistant] Forget this new fallen dignity and fall into our rustic revelry. Play music!


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[Assistant] The duke has put on a religious life and thrown in to neglect the pompous cause. He has? To him will I. Out of these convertites, there is much matter to be heard and learned. You, to your former honour, I bequeath


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[Assistant] A female favor and bestows himself like a ripe sister. The woman, low and browner than her brother. Are not you the owner of the house I did inquire for?


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[Assistant] And to that youth he calls his Rosalind, he sends this bloody napkin. Are you he?


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[Assistant] When last the young Orlando parted from you, he left a promise to return again within an hour.


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[Assistant] Under an old oak whose boughs were mossed with age and high top bald with dry antiquity, a wretched, ragged man, all grown with hair, lay sleeping on his back. About his neck, a green and gilded snake had wreathed itself.


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[Assistant] With udders all drawn dry, lay couching head on ground with cat-like watch.


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[Assistant] When that the sleeping man should stir, for it is the royal disposition of that beast to prey on nothing that doth seem as dead. This theme Orlando did approach the man and found it was his brother, his elder brother.


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[Assistant] It was I, but tis not I. I do not shame to tell you what I was.


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[Assistant] Well, from the first to last betwixt us two, tears our accountants had most kindly bathed, as how I came into that desert place, in brief.


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[Assistant] He led me to the gentle duke who gave me fresh array and entertainment, committing me unto my brother's love.


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[Assistant] The lioness had torn some flesh away which all this while had bled.


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[Assistant] And now he fainted and cried in fainting upon Rosalind. Brief, I recovered him.


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[Assistant] Bound up his wound and after some small space being strong at heart, he sent me hither, stranger as I am to tell this story, that you might excuse his broken promise, and to give this napkin dyed in his blood.


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[Assistant] And to the shepherd youth that he in sport doth call his Rosalind.


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[Assistant] For I must bear answer back how you excuse my brother, Rosalind.


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[Assistant] So far beneath your soft and tender breathing, and since you called me master for so long, here is my hand. You shall from this time be your master's mistress.


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[Assistant] As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion


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[Assistant] Besides this nothing that he so plentifully gives me, that something that nature gave me, his countenance seems to take from me.


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[Assistant] He lets me feed with his hinds, bows me the place of a brother, and as much as in him lies, mine's my gentility with my education. This it is, Adam, that grieves me.


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[Assistant] And the spirit of my father, which I think is within me.


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[Assistant] Begins to mutiny against this servitude. I will no longer endure it. Though yet, I know no wise remedy how to avoid it.


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[Assistant] Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how he will shake me up.


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[Assistant] Nothing? I'm not taught to make anything.


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[Assistant] Well, be it, I confess your coming before me is nearer to his reverence. What? Boy. Come, come, Elder Brother, you're too young in this. Well, thou lay hands on me, villain. I am no villain.


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[Assistant] Well sir, get you in. I will not long be troubled with you. You shall have some part of your will.


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[Assistant] It will be a good way. And tomorrow the wrestling is.


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[Assistant] Can you tell me if Rosalind, the duke's daughter, be banished with her father?


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[Assistant] I had myself noticed of my brother's purpose herein, and have by underhand means laboured to dissuade him from it. But he is resolute.


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[Assistant] I'll tell thee, Charles, it is the stubbornest young fellow of France, full of ambition, an envious emulator of every man's good parts, a secret and villainous contriver against me, his natural brother.


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[Assistant] Therefore use thy discretion, I had as least thou didst break his neck as his finger, and thou wert best looked to't.


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[Assistant] For if thou dost him any slight disgrace, or if he do not mightily grace himself on thee, he will practice against thee by poison, entrap thee by some treacherous device, and never leave thee till he hath tamed thy life by some indirect means or other. For I assure thee, and almost with tears I speak it,


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[Assistant] There is not one so young and so villainous this day living. I speak but brotherly of him, but should I anatomize him to thee as he is, I must blush and weep, and thou must look pale and


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[Assistant] Farewell, good Charles. Now will I stir this gangster. I hope I shall see an end of him, for my soul, yet I know not why, hates nothing more than he. Yet he's gentle, never schooled and yet learned, full of noble device, of all sorts enchantingly beloved.


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[Assistant] And indeed so much in the heart of the world, and especially of my own people who best know him, that I am altogether misprized.


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[Assistant] Shall not be so long. This wrestler shall clear all. Nothing remains but that I kindled the boy with her, which now I'll go about.


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[Assistant] I come but in as others do to try with him the strength of my youth.


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[Assistant] Which of the two was the daughter of the duke that he was at the resting? Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners. But yet indeed, the smaller is his daughter. The other is daughter to the banished duke.


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[Assistant] I shall desire more love and knowledge of you. I rest much bound unto you. Fare you well. Thus must I from the smoke into the smother, from tyrant duke unto a tyrant brother.


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[Assistant] He for his father's sake so loves the prince that he will not be one to ought against him.


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[Assistant] The princes both make high account of you, for they account his head upon the bridge.


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[Assistant] Bless my doors. How full of colours I am, and trembling of mind. I shall be glad if you have deceived me. How melancholy I am.


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[Assistant] To shallow rivers, to hushals.


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[Assistant] Melodious birds sing madrigal.


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[Assistant] Melodias parten madrigal.


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[Assistant] When as I sat in Babylon, and a thousand fragrant corgis,


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[Assistant] Please give me my gown, or else keep it in your arm.


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[Assistant] The picture I present to you is peaceful and human, and you must feel that you could deny it only in the wantonness of power and cruelty. Pityless as you have been towards me.


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[Assistant] Let me seize the favorable moment and persuade you to promise what I so ardently desire. You propose, replied I, to fly from the habitations of man.


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[Assistant] To dwell in those wilds where the beasts of the field will be your only companions. How can you?


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[Assistant] Who long for the love and sympathy of man, persevered in this exile. He will return.


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[Assistant] Your evil passions will be renewed and you will then have a companion to aid you in the task of destruction. This may not be.


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[Assistant] Cease to argue the point, for I cannot consent. How inconstant are your feelings?


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[Assistant] But a moment ago you were moved by my representations, and why do you again harden yourself to my complaints?


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[Assistant] I swear to you by the earth which I inhabit and by you that made me that with the companion you bestow I will quit the neighborhood of man and dwell as it may chance in the most savage of places. My evil passions will have fled.


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[Assistant] I compassionated him and sometimes felt a wish to console him.


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[Assistant] But when I looked upon him, when I saw the filthy mass that moved and talked, my heart sickened and my feelings were altered to those of horror and hatred. I tried to stifle these sensations.


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[Assistant] I thought that as I could not sympathize with him, I had no right to withhold from him the small portion of happiness which was yet in my power to bestow.


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[Assistant] But have you not already shown a degree of malice that should reasonably make me distrust you?


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[Assistant] May not even this be a feint that will increase your triumph by affording a wider scope for your revenge. How is this? I must not be trifled with and I demand an answer.


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[Assistant] If I have no ties and no affections, hatred and vice must be my portion.


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[Assistant] The love of another will destroy the cause of my crimes, and I shall become a thing of whose existence everyone will be ignorant.


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[Assistant] And my virtues will necessarily arise when I live in communion with an equal.


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[Assistant] I shall feel the affections of a sensitive being and become linked to the chain of existence and events from which I am now excluded.


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[Assistant] I paused some time to reflect on all he had related and the various arguments which he had employed.


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[Assistant] I thought of the promise of virtues which he had displayed on the opening of his existence, and the subsequent blight of all kindly feeling by the loathing and scorn which his protectors had manifested towards him.


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[Assistant] His power and threats were not omitted in my calculations.


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[Assistant] A creature who could exist in the ice caves of the glaciers and hide himself from pursuit among the ridges of inaccessible precipices


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[Assistant] Was a being possessing faculties it would be vain to cope with. After a long pause of reflection,


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[Assistant] I concluded that the justice due both to him and my fellow creatures demanded of me that I should comply with his request. Turning to him therefore I said,


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[Assistant] And every other place in the neighborhood of man as soon as I shall deliver into your hands a female who will accompany you in your exile. I swear, he cried.


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[Assistant] By the sun and by the blue sky of heaven and by the fire of love that burns my heart, that if you grant my prayer while they exist you shall never behold me again. Depart to your home and commence your labors


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[Assistant] I shall watch their progress with unutterable anxiety and fear not, but that when you are ready I shall appear.


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[Assistant] Saying this, he suddenly quitted me, fearful perhaps of any change in my sentiment.


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[Assistant] I saw him descend the mountain with greater speed than the flight of an eagle, and quickly lost among the undulations of a sea of ice.


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[Assistant] His tail had occupied the whole day, and the sun was upon the verge of the horizon when he departed.


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[Assistant] I knew that I ought to hasten my descent towards the valley as I should soon be encompassed in darkness. But my heart was heavy, and my steps slow.


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[Assistant] Occupied as I was by the emotions which the occurrences of the day had produced.


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[Assistant] Night was far advanced when I came to the halfway resting place and seated myself beside the fountain.


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[Assistant] The stars shone at intervals as the clouds passed from over them. The dark pines rose before me.


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[Assistant] And every here and there a broken tree lay on the ground.


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[Assistant] It was a scene of wonderful solemnity and stirred strange thoughts within me.


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[Assistant] But I cannot describe to you how the eternal twinkling of the stars weighed upon me.


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[Assistant] And how I listened to every blast of wind as if it were a dull, ugly siroc on its way to consume me.


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[Assistant] Morning dawned before I arrived at the village of Chamonix. I took no rest but returned immediately to Geneva.


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[Assistant] Even in my own heart I could give no expression to my sensations. They weighed on me with a mountain's weight, and their excess destroyed my agony beneath them. Thus I returned home.


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[Assistant] And entering the house presented myself to the family.


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[Assistant] My haggard and wild appearance awoke intense alarm, but I answered no questions, scarcely did I speak. I felt as if I were placed under a ban, as if I had no right to claim their sympathies, as if never more might I enjoy companionship with them. Yet even thus I loved them to adoration.


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[Assistant] And to save them, I resolved to dedicate myself to my most abhorred task.


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[Assistant] And that thought only had to me the reality of life.


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[Assistant] Week after week passed away on my return to Geneva.


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[Assistant] And I could not collect the courage to recommence my work.


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[Assistant] I feared the vengeance of the disappointed fiend, yet I was unable to overcome my repugnance to the task which was enjoined me.


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[Assistant] I found that I could not compose a female without again devoting several months to profound study and laborious disquisition.


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[Assistant] I had heard of some discoveries having been made by an English philosopher, the knowledge of which was material to my success, and I sometimes thought of obtaining my father's consent to visit England for this purpose. But I clung to every pretense of delay and shrank from taking the first step


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[Assistant] Which had hitherto declined was now much restored and my spirits, when unchecked by the memory of my unhappy promise, rose proportionably. My father saw this change with pleasure.


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[Assistant] And he turned his thoughts towards the best method of eradicating the remains of my melancholy, which every now and then would return by fits.


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[Assistant] And with a devouring blackness overcast the approaching sunshine.


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[Assistant] At these moments, I took refuge in the most perfect solitude. I passed whole days on the lake alone in a little boat.


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[Assistant] Watching the clouds and listening to the rippling of the waves, silent and listless.


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[Assistant] But the fresh air and bright sun seldom failed to restore me to some degree of composure.


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[Assistant] And on my return I met the salutations of my friends with a redier smile and a more cheerful heart.


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[Assistant] It was after my return from one of these rambles that my father, calling me aside, thus addressed me.


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[Assistant] And yet you are still unhappy and still avoid our society.


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[Assistant] For some time I was lost in conjecture as to the cause of this.


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[Assistant] But yesterday an idea struck me, and if it is well founded I conjure you to avow it. Reserve on such a point would be not only useless, but draw down treble misery on us all.


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[Assistant] I trembled violently at his exodium, and my father continued.


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[Assistant] I confess, my son, that I have always looked forward to your marriage with our dear Elizabeth as the tie of our domestic comfort and the stay of my declining years. You were attached to each other from your earliest infancy.


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[Assistant] You studied together and appeared in dispositions and tastes entirely suited to one another.


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[Assistant] But so blind is the experience of man that what I conceived to be the best assistance to my plan may have entirely destroyed it.


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[Assistant] You, perhaps, regard her as your sister without any wish that she might become your wife.


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[Assistant] Nay, you may have met with another whom you may love, and considering yourself as bound in honor to Elizabeth, this struggle may occasion the poignant misery which you appear to feel. My dear father, reassure yourself. I love my cousin tenderly and sincerely.


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[Assistant] I never saw any woman who excited as Elizabeth does my warmest admiration and affection.


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[Assistant] My future hopes and prospects are entirely bound up in the expectation of our union.


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[Assistant] If you feel thus, we shall assuredly be happy. However, present events may cast a gloom over us.


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[Assistant] But it is this gloom which appears to have taken so strong a hold of your mind that I wish to dissipate. Tell me therefore whether you object to an immediate solemnization of the marriage. We have been unfortunate.


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[Assistant] Yet I do not suppose, possessed as you are of a competent fortune,


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[Assistant] Do not suppose, however, that I wish to dictate happiness to you, or that a delay on your part would cause me any serious uneasiness.


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[Assistant] Interpret my words with candor and answer me, I conjure you, with confidence and sincerity.


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[Assistant] I revolved rapidly in my mind a multitude of thoughts and endeavored to arrive at some conclusion. Alas!


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[Assistant] I was bound by a solemn promise which I had not yet fulfilled and dared not break. Or if I did, what manifold miseries might not impend over me and my devoted family?


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[Assistant] Could I enter into a festival with this deadly weight yet hanging round my neck and bowing me to the ground? I must perform my engagement and let the monster depart with his mate.


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[Assistant] I remembered also the necessity imposed upon me of either journeying to England or entering into a long correspondence with those philosophers of that country whose knowledge and discoveries were of indispensable use to me in my present undertaking.


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[Assistant] The latter method of obtaining the desired intelligence was dilatory and unsatisfactory. Besides,


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[Assistant] I had an insurmountable aversion to the idea of engaging myself in my loathsome task in my father's house while in habits of familiar intercourse with those I love.


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[Assistant] I knew that a thousand fearful accidents might occur, the slightest of which would disclose a tale to thrill all connected with me with horror.


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[Assistant] Absent myself from all I loved while thus employed. Once commenced, it would quickly be achieved.


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[Assistant] My promise fulfilled, the monster would depart forever. Or so my fond fancy imaged.


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[Assistant] Some accident might meanwhile occur to destroy him and put an end to my slavery forever. These feelings dictated my answer to my father.


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[Assistant] I expressed a wish to visit England, but concealing the true reasons of this request, I clothed my desires under a guise which excited no suspicion, while I urged my desire with an earnestness that easily induced my father to comply.


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[Assistant] He was glad to find that I was capable of taking pleasure in the idea of such a journey and he hoped that change of scene and varied amusement would, before my return, have restored me entirely.


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[Assistant] But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured wasting in impotent passions.


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[Assistant] For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were forever ardent and craving.


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[Assistant] Am I to be thought the only criminal when all humankind sinned against me?


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[Assistant] Even now my blood boils at the recollection of this injustice.


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[Assistant] But it is true that I am a wretch.


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[Assistant] I have murdered the lovely and the helpless. I have strangled the innocent as they slept and grasped to death his throat who never injured me or any other living thing. I have devoted my creator.


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[Assistant] The select specimen of all that is worthy of love and admiration among men to misery.


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[Assistant] I have pursued him even to that irremediable ruin. There he lies, white and cold in death.


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[Assistant] You hate me, but your abhorrence cannot equal that with which I regard myself. I look on the hands which executed the deed.


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[Assistant] I think on the heart in which the imagination of it was conceived, and long for the moment when these hands will meet my eyes, when that imagination will haunt my thoughts no more. Fear not that I shall be the instrument of future mischief.


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[Assistant] My work is nearly complete. Neither yours nor any man's death is needed to consummate the series of my being and accomplish that which must be done, but it requires my own.


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[Assistant] I shall quit your vessel on the ice raft which brought me thither, and shall seek the most northern extremity of the globe. I shall collect my funeral pile.


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[Assistant] And consume to ashes this miserable frame, that its remains may afford no light to any curious and unhallowed wretch who would create such another as I have been. I shall die.


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[Assistant] I shall no longer feel the agonies which now consume me, or be the prey of feelings unsatisfied yet unquenched. He is dead who called me into being.


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[Assistant] And when I shall be no more, the very remembrance of us both will speedily vanish.


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[Assistant] When the images which this world affords first opened upon me, when I felt the cheering warmth of summer, and heard the rustling of the leaves and the warbling of the birds, and these were all to me, I should have wept to die. Now it is my only consolation.


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[Assistant] Polluted by crimes and torn by the bitterest remorse, Where can I find rest but in death? Farewell, I leave you.


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[Assistant] And in you the last of humankind Whom these eyes will ever behold. Farewell, Frankenstein.


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[Assistant] If thou wert yet alive, and yet cherished a desire of revenge against me, it would be better satiated in my life than in my destruction. But it was not so.


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[Assistant] Thou didst seek my extinction that I might not cause greater wretchedness.


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[Assistant] And if yet in some mode unknown to me thou hadst not ceased to think and feel, thou wouldst not desire against me a vengeance greater than that which I feel. Blasted as thou wert, my agony was still superior to thine.


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[Assistant] For the bitter sting of remorse will not cease to rankle in my wounds until death shall close them forever. But soon


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[Assistant] I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly and exult in the agony of the torturing flames.


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[Assistant] The light of that conflagration will fade away. My ashes will be swept into the sea by the winds.


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[Assistant] It will not surely think thus. Farewell. He sprang from the cabin window as he said this, upon the ice raft which lay close to the vessel.


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[Assistant] He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance.


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[Assistant] This concludes Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus.


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[Assistant] And I'm entitled therefore to judge respecting friendship. You have hope?


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[Assistant] As he said this, his countenance became expressive of a calm, settled grief that touched me to the heart. But he was silent and presently retired to his cabin.


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[Assistant] Even broken in spirit as he is, no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauties of nature.