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[Assistant] But still, put simply, we're here, we need to go there. How are we going to transverse that path from where we are to where we need to be?


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[Assistant] But we do, if we're going to make progress in life, we have to acknowledge that. And we have to deliberately make the transition from one place where we are now to where we're going.


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[Assistant] And they, they're the objectives or the steps that we take to get there.


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[Assistant] First, there are moral issues we have to address and we have to be equipped to deal with them.


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[Assistant] So that we, uh, don't address them aggressively and destructively.


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[Assistant] As you kind of alluded to, like on a political level, for example, or that we don't actually, uhm,


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[Assistant] Self-criticise will become too much, uh, become involved in toxic shame or guilt.


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[Assistant] And here's an example of something which is more historical. Our marriage record was not very good. It's improving at Ascon, thankfully. But, you know, our standards of marriage and divorce


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[Assistant] Meet the scriptural standards. How do we deal with that? We have to deal with it.


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[Assistant] Uhm, what about corruption in leadership? It's a problem.


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[Assistant] Uhm, it may not be widespread, there may not be much of it, but there is a problem with it. How do we deal with it?


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[Assistant] There are a number of moral issues. There's the sexuality issue which is probably bigger than most of us think. Uhm, so we want to avoid, you know,


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[Assistant] Airing our laundry everywhere, but we also want to avoid ignoring these issues. Uh, the second challenge is what I call the ethical issues. Those, uhm, issues, controversies and debates where we're not sure what is right and wrong. There is a third area that I'll just mention now, but we need to discuss now.


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[Assistant] And that is the controversial statements in Srila Prabhupada's books, because what are they relevant to ethics?


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[Assistant] The kind of surrounding environment of ideas about what is right and what is wrong or what is good and what is evil has changed since the 1960s.


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[Assistant] The moral discourse changes. The moral philosophy, the academic moral philosophy changes. The populist discourse or the popular discourse changes as well.


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[Assistant] Uhm, but ethics and developing ethical literacy,


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[Assistant] Knowing what's happening, having some insight into what is happening in the world, as well as what's happening in ISKCON perhaps, is useful for us taking the society forward.


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[Assistant] I'm not necessarily suggesting that all of us need to study Western moral philosophy, although I think there's good reason to do so for many of us. I am also suggesting that within our tradition, there is a lot of moral insight, but for some reason,


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[Assistant] Both the Hindu tradition broadly, if I can call it that, or the Vedic tradition, call it what you will, and the Chaitanya Vaishnava tradition appears to have been a bit reticent.


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[Assistant] Talking about metaphysical or ontological truths.


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[Assistant] The self, the nature of the self, the nature of God and so on. However, I think that many of us have missed the moral and ethical, um, strands, if you like.


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[Assistant] That are running through texts such as the Bhagavad Gita. The Bhagavad Gita is a moral text, essentially, in many ways. Now the relationship between values and moral sensibility and moral sense and metaphysical truth or your ontological truths


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[Assistant] Uhm, or facts and cognition is a long-standing debate.


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[Assistant] The relationship between a fact and it started particularly with David Hume.


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[Assistant] So there's a huge debate going on there. So there are, I'm suggesting there are three


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[Assistant] Practical issues, kind of ongoing phenomena that


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[Assistant] Well, I've made three points in my essay. First, we need to look at the issues of morality and ethics. Second, to do that, we need to be educated how to do that.


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[Assistant] And there may be courses on this. I think it would be useful to have training courses, particularly for administrative leaders. And I can come back to that. And thirdly, it would be good for us to develop a somewhat autonomous moral philosophy or moral theology. When I say semi-autonomous, it kind of stands


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[Assistant] From other aspects of Krishna conscious theology because we tend to


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[Assistant] At times or often lump it all together as one theology. But I think it's my understanding is particularly in the modern world. And I think Srila Prabhupada alludes to this. We need a Krishna conscious, um, well, I say moral philosophy. We need a philosophy of education.


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[Assistant] Could we develop a whole discipline of Krishna conscious counselling?


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[Assistant] That is really structured and disciplined, but not taking on some of the negative elements of contemporary thought. How about economics? Should we know something about how about cow protection? Do we need to draw together?


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[Assistant] And codify Sheila Prabhat's teachings rather


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[Assistant] So that actually we, we can draw on those what I would call Krishna conscious disciplines, which are coherent and comprehensive and useful.


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[Assistant] And I'm not saying that these disciplines are not connected. I think in the Western, this way, in the Western world,


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[Assistant] Uhm, the dis- disciplines have been divided up and therefore in the academy and universities and colleges, very often,


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[Assistant] I mean, there's a move towards more interdisciplinary work. However, I would suggest that perhaps in India and in Indic thought, maybe it's a little too monistic.


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[Assistant] We need to actually separate out some of the teachings and develop, as I said before, what I would call


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[Assistant] A range of Krishna conscious humanities or disciplines or fields of study.


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[Assistant] For practi- for practi- for practical purposes.


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[Assistant] The sadhana, the temple attendance, that's all important. However, what concerns me is what I call the kind of reductionism that's going on in Srila Prabhupada's philosophy.


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[Assistant] But in Kali Yuga it's not possible, just chant Hare Krishna.


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[Assistant] And, and, and we ignore them as our peril.


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[Assistant] Because I think that morality is very closely linked, or Dharma if you liked, to the administrative leadership, the Chatryas. Because it was they who were responsible for establishing and maintaining


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[Assistant] The basic moral ethos of the society in which spiritual life could flourish.


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[Assistant] Without effective governance, ISKCON will not go forward. Without successful governance, there will be no successful ISKCON.


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[Assistant] It could be your spiritual body, but the spiritual body has form as well. Where's this idea that the spiritual doesn't have form? It's not systematic. And everything kind of goes on vaguely through a kind of impersonal Krishna delivered energy. No, everything has to be systematic.


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[Assistant] Our education has to be systematic, just because.


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[Assistant] The materialists are systematic and organized. It doesn't mean we should be the opposite.


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[Assistant] It is no good decrying education as a slaughterhouse, which I agree it is often.


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[Assistant] But unless we come up with a better educational system, what use is our critique?


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[Assistant] Nietzsche criticized of religious people, and particularly Christianities. I think, Christians, I think he was a little harsh, uh, but he made some very good observations. They are more concerned to criticize others than to set the example themselves. And that we have to avoid.


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[Assistant] But that, that we have to avoid. It has to be practical. It has to be built. We have to build a Krishna conscious society.


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[Assistant] We have to build a Krishna conscious culture. I don't think it exists. I mean, there are remnants that exist in Bengal and Bangladesh, and they may be very valuable, but I don't think we have a complete Krishna conscious culture.


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[Assistant] But with actually building the systems, structures and so on that will enable


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[Assistant] That I feel should be our meditation. So that Krishna consciousness goes beyond a small religion to become something far greater.


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[Assistant] So I think Shila Prabhupada's book, books has those instructions.


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[Assistant] To the spiritual practices as valuable and as important as they are, and I'm not saying ignore those, but unless we go beyond


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[Assistant] Uhm, I don't think we'll go forward. And I'll make one other observation about governance. And I think this is really important. The, because actually we, we know the path


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[Assistant] From where we are to where we need to go has been carefully delineated by the Goswamas. From Shraddha to Prem. It's, it's, it's, it's very clear.


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[Assistant] So unless if the Shraddha, the faith and the trust is broken, one cannot, or it'll be very difficult to progress, perhaps it's impossible, to the next stage. And that trust is mediated through devotees, but it's mediated not just through the guru or the education, the teacher.


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[Assistant] Absolutely. We need to, you know, it's very, I mean, we should keep in goal, in mind, the goal of Prema. And uhm, we could discuss that more. I think it's very important.


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[Assistant] Uhm, what I call the virtue of love, and other philosophers have said how this should be put at the forefront of our moral practices and our moral discourse. But we should also keep in mind that if we actually are hacking away at the root of the tree of bhakti, at the beginning, shraddha,


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[Assistant] Then actually, we're not going to get that far. We need to give attention that we're building that faith and trust.


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[Assistant] Individual practitioners who retire to the Himalayas.


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[Assistant] And those communities of devotees will interact with the broader community in the world. So I don't think that these issues.


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[Assistant] Can be avoided if we're to be effective in pushing forward Krishna consciousness. And I would suggest that kind of.


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[Assistant] I mean, Srila Prabhupada does in the first canto mention the importance, particularly of the Chakras and the Brahmins, and he says explicitly at the end of one verb or one verse, and I, I don't have the reference, excuse me.


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[Assistant] If the Chakras and the Brahmans work together, everything else will fall into place. And there needs to be that mutual trust between those two divisions of leadership. And of course Kali Yuga began with the breakdown of that relationship. The story of Parikshit Maharaj and what was the name of the brah, I know his son.


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[Assistant] For their own upliftment, they're independent, they don't need a society. They're not dependent on the society. Yeaah. But, for the welfare of everyone, they understood the need for good governance. In the Vedic concept, a good king, but that means


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[Assistant] If we look at that in context, what it means generally, broadly in today's world included, good governance. Therefore, the Brahmins, when King Vena was, uh, going off the rails a little bit, uhm,


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[Assistant] And they shouldn't normally, they wouldn't normally have done this. They don't normally employ violence. So when Vishwamitra Muni came, was having problems with some demons, he came to Dasharath Maharaj and asked him for Ram and Lakshman.


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[Assistant] The Brahmins actually ended up cursing him and killing him directly. And Srila Prabhupada in one lecture when discussing that.


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[Assistant] Even though it appeared that they transgressed their Brahminical duties in terms of conduct and rules. He says this shows they were real Brahmins. They were so concerned for the welfare of the people.


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[Assistant] That they were prepared to transgress the rules and regulations.


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[Assistant] Hmm, there needs to be a social system and a healthy, you know, society.


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[Assistant] In which Krishna consciousness can then flourish.


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[Assistant] Yes, certainly, I think there are many positive developments. I think devotees are becoming aware of these issues. They're becoming conscious of the need to address them rather than to ignore them. Particularly I think amongst the


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[Assistant] Uhm, there's awareness amongst the GBC itself.


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[Assistant] Develop and publish a course and course materials on hermeneutics and how we interpret Shilaprabha's books.


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[Assistant] Some negative developments such as defining ISKCON as a religion, uhm, ascertaining our ethical and moral status according


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[Assistant] In other words, what we're doing is we're, we're, we're developing a ten, you know, there's the tendency now within ISKCON, and I don't think it was there in the early days to actually


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[Assistant] Material designation. The challenge here...


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[Assistant] Is that to answer Arjuna's dilemma, Krishna's first statement was on the existence of the eternal soul and understanding that identity beyond all bodily designations.


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[Assistant] As I was saying, there's progression in certain areas.


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[Assistant] But there may be regression in others. For example, now there are kind of tensions between East and West.


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[Assistant] And Indian perspectives and Western perspectives, uh, the idea that, for example, sometimes, uh, I think, I think some of the problems stem from both sides. So I know some of us Westerners are critical of Hinduism in a very harsh way.


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[Assistant] And there are those kind of claims to non-sectarianism, which in themselves are valid.


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[Assistant] But which raise certain questions about what actually is our connection to India. Why is India important for us? Or is it not important? If it is important, why is it important? Without descending into some form of nationalism.


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[Assistant] Yeah, a number of points, a number of kind of responses come to mind. First, the relationship between morality and governance is an important one.


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[Assistant] The connection between morality and ethics is much debated, although I take the stance, and some disagree, that actually first comes your moral philosophy, and then comes your governance and your legislation.


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[Assistant] I don't know, I'd be careful about too much generalisation there, actually. I mean, there is a connection, and there's been writings on this. I mean, for example, the right wing.


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[Assistant] We'll actually point to issues of determinism.


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[Assistant] So there's definitely connections between political leanings and one's moral stance, and certain moral philosophers, uhm, Jonathan Haidt has written on this, uhm, but I don't think, I think we have to, I think it's very important


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[Assistant] Uh, I would also suggest that we need to look at it in the realm of education, probably by, I would suggest, placing values.


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[Assistant] And understanding that Krishna consciousness is not so much a transcendence of character formation.


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[Assistant] It's the un, it's the un, it's the uncovering of the values


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[Assistant] Absolutely. And I think if I may go on, one area in which I think it is a challenge, uh, is that we tend to very much highlight the devotional virtues, but we largely ignore the virtues


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[Assistant] They're associated with a specific station in life, by which I mean particular varnas and ashrams according to our worldview. And the danger here is that if we don't give attention to the values which are inevitably yoked to our particular vana and ashram, then we can slip and slide


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[Assistant] As I alluded to earlier, we can become irresponsible.


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[Assistant] And I gave the example of an administrative leader. An administrative leader may accept power when it comes to a position, but an administrative leader, if a dependent has a problem,


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[Assistant] Can't logistically then take the role of a Brahman and give, simply give instruction.


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[Assistant] He has a duty to provide for his dependents, and particularly to protect five classes of society.


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[Assistant] We need also to have financial stability, absolutely important. And in many places, ISKCON has developed that stability now.


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[Assistant] But what are the values attributed to each? And Chanukah warns about this. He tells us that some of the values are antithetical. They're the opposite.


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[Assistant] And I'm talking about the world in general, it's the polarisation of thoughts.


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[Assistant] But this idea of resolving opposites through insight and full realization is an important pedagogical and spiritual principle. And Srila Prabhupada mentions it explicitly. He says, if you're just on the intellectual level,


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[Assistant] You will not be able to resolve conflicts and tensions, apparent opposites, apparent paradoxes. Once you realize that, once you attain the level of realization, they can be resolved. Now on the social level, if we start to adopt the prevalent Kali Yuga mode of adversarial discourse,


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[Assistant] Competitive discourse, discourse which is fueled by often unrestrained emotions and sentiment.


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[Assistant] At least has to be a group of thinkers who are personally detached.


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[Assistant] Although Krishna consciousness in some ways is simple, its application is difficult. We live in a complex world. The Mahabharata is full of complex moral dilemmas. Arjuna was in a moral dilemma.


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[Assistant] We can't stay on the level of just simply rules and rites and rituals and


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[Assistant] Who are able to discuss these issues soundly and make some of the, uhm, resolve these issues and then implement them on a social level, administrative level, uh, so that everyone benefits. It may not be that everyone could be


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[Assistant] Interesting. I think I like what you say there. In other words, we kind of reframe the question so that we avoid the dichotomy.


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[Assistant] No, that was very well summarized. I'm astounded how you remembered so much of our discussion. I will say that at some point it might be good to discuss, uhm, it might be useful


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[Assistant] To discuss the idea of the three gunas, the three guna, the three guna, sattva guna, rajaguna and tamaguna, because I think they provide a framework


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[Assistant] Which is very systematic and I think very insightful that transcends any particular particularities, particularly those connected to race, nation, culture, and so on. And, uh, in teaching in schools, some devotee teachers have noted how


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[Assistant] Non-devotees can also get to grips with the Triguna and are actually quite fascinated by it, uhm, as a framework.


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[Assistant] I'm not saying that we have to change the course, the process, but we do have to reach


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[Assistant] Before we can actually attain transcendence and that is mentioned in the very first verse of the very first chapter of the very first canto of the Srimad Bhagavatam.


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[Assistant] Uhm, Srila Prabhupada explicitly mentions how Vyasadeva has invoked a Gayatri mantra so that we can read Dibahi.


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[Assistant] Uhm, and that is also something that needs discussing the role of the Triguna. Bhaktivinoda Thakur has even mentioned that Rajaguna is an albeit temporary antidote to Tamaguna.


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[Assistant] Without much discernment, Rajaguna and Tamaguna, which are quite different.


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[Assistant] Uh, is unhelpful in, in the discourse, but perhaps we can discuss that at another time.


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[Assistant] Indeed, a Chaitanya-Vaishnav ethics might assist the society's outreach by broadening its interest base and establishing its relevance. There is a case for suggesting that Dharma, central to ISKCON's identity, is better translated as ethics, albeit theistic, rather than religion, which may or may not be ethical.


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[Assistant] Ethnical literacy might also facilitate confident redress of the society's natural shortcomings.


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[Assistant] We have also earmarked an obligation to attend to the moral narrative, especially to resist a predilection towards self and world negation and a moral discourse.


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[Assistant] The Bhagavad Purana commends bhakti as the highest dharma. Srimad Bhagavatam, canter one, chapter two, verse six. Furthermore, love may be the highest virtue.


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[Assistant] British Irish philosopher, Iris Murdoch, affirms, and I quote, we need a moral philosophy in which the concept of love, so rarely mentioned now by philosophers, can once again be made central. In asserting love as a virtue,


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[Assistant] And yet it's paradoxical transcendence of virtue. Comte Sponvel writes, and I quote again, love commits us to morality and frees us from it. Morality commits us to love even in its absence and must yield before it.


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[Assistant] My proposal is that devotees acknowledge such insights. And furthermore, the Chaitanya's fifth telos or goal of life, Prema.


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[Assistant] Be accommodated within a coherent moral philosophy, despite its surpassing morality's lower selfish and binding expressions.


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[Assistant] You heard her, boy. She thinks that you guys are a disaster. This is No Jumper, the coolest podcast in the world, and this is Adam 22, and I'm here with my man Robesman. Let's get to it, brah. He brought along some babes today, so maybe you can help us out by introducing our guest.


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[Assistant] So, Robesman, tell us, uh, how you met, uh, Fifi over here. Oh, are we gonna tell the story? Yeah, let's hear it.


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[Assistant] You can still count them one by one, like as they go up, like you don't have a K at the end, that's pretty, you gotta save for that for the next 8500 or so. I'm sus.


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[Assistant] I've been grinding so hard for the Twitter. Twitter is just my art form. Instagram is for hot people, you guys are hot on the creature. And every girl has the cheat code to being popular on Instagram. Not every girl, but a lot. Like with us, if we were post like revealing like shots where you could see our dick through our underwear, like it wouldn't work.


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[Assistant] Right. So you're on every dating network?


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[Assistant] Bumble and Dender and Raya, but don't you have to pay for Raya?


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[Assistant] I was getting the vibe that it's more for like, hot, popular people.


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[Assistant] See, that's what's fucked up and that's what I feel like is gonna happen to them is remember when it was like Abercrombie wouldn't let like a fat Asian girl work there?


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[Assistant] To me that is what's gonna happen with this because at some point it's gonna be proven like, oh you let a significant like a 20% lower percentage of black people on. Or fat people or whatever and it's gonna be a whole lawsuit I feel like if it really catches on, I don't know.


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[Assistant] But like, if you're a 60 year old dude, what do you have to do to be on there? Do you have to be like really hot?


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[Assistant] But do the Instagram followers really matter? It really, it's like a real thing where you have to, apparently not over here, but I don't know, like if you're like a fly foot walker manager.


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[Assistant] The money making opportunities are a lot more, uh, those seem cooler than the dick options, you're saying?


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[Assistant] It shows that he's appreciative of great beauty, right? Like wouldn't you rather he be following you than like a bunch of chicks that look nothing like you? Ugly, corny guys don't follow hot girls.


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[Assistant] Yeah, cause I figured that like if a chick has more than like 50 or 100k or whatever, then it's like, I just, I don't like doing the DM thing cause I feel like it's never gonna work. There's no way, cause like with me, like I barely look at my fucking DMs and I'm not really like responding to people that much cause it's just annoying.


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[Assistant] Now let me ask you, does it actually bother you when you open your DMs and you see a penis of a stranger on there? Or is it more just that it bothers you that he thinks that it's okay to do this?


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[Assistant] Because for the people who don't know out there, she has had a Buzzfeed video that went kind of viral a couple days ago, or like a week ago, basically about the topic of, uh, guys sending her unrequested penis photos and then she, you guys both do this I'm assuming? You get revenge. You send it to their women, their girlfriends.


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[Assistant] Oh damn, sorry Emily. Yeah. Socialist Instagram hottie. Like she would, she honestly would be like no. I know, I'm just joking.


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[Assistant] Huh? No, I just like banged her like ten years ago or something, so.


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[Assistant] So what do you do for money? We're still talking in the Facebook group. What do you guys both do for your day jobs? I have my own business. Doing what?


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[Assistant] See this is really interesting to me because that is kinda like the girl code is that if a dude is sending out dick pics or something you gotta tell another girl. Wait. Okay.


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[Assistant] For a dude to get unsolicited news, you have to be so poppin'. Like, I feel like I'm poppin' whatever, but I don't really get like, unsolicited news. I get unsolicited hoes sending me like, hi, how you doin'?


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[Assistant] You need a freshener? Uh, yes. What was I just saying? I'm sorry, I drink really fast.


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[Assistant] I don't know. I wanna talk about that business of making money off of Instagram as a babe. Or a question that you wrote that I really liked was, did you actively decide to become poppin' on Instagram?


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[Assistant] So your boyfriend had kept you from being kinda thoughty on the internet prior to this?


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[Assistant] Do you have like a plug in the nightlife scene? Are you like the chick who's like at the table with like the 80 year old man? At the gay clubs, yea. At the gay clubs?


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[Assistant] You're moving into the straight world. What did you not like about all the gays?


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[Assistant] Are you exclusively heterosexual? Yes, I actually am. No girls allowed? No. What about you?


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[Assistant] But I think that sexuality occurs on a spectrum between, you know,


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[Assistant] But is there anything sexually with a girl that like a lot of heterosexual guys are into that you're not into? Wait, repeat the question?


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[Assistant] Is there anything that occurs within the overall realm of like typical heterosexual sexuality that you're not into?


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[Assistant] If a girl told me she wasn't into getting her ass licked, I'm out. That's fucking-


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[Assistant] I don't know what it is, yea, but I don't know, like, I feel like the main change that has taken place over the past few years for me is that girls always want to eat your ass.


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[Assistant] And that is weird to me. I've let a few of them do it, but I'm not super excited about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like that he just plays it off his laptop that's not like connected to a soundboard or anything. No, but lube, lube is weird. Never used lube really in my whole life until like a couple times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, I've done a bunch of butt sex, but I never used lube for whatever reason, I just kinda spit and just went for it. No, it is, it's tough, it's not easy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've only, well, usually when I do it, I feel like I'll only do it a couple times with that person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you take like a fat chick who's super like, you know, smart and she's doing really well in business and everything and she's like at the top of her career, what is the one thing that she's gonna do with her extra bit of free time when she gets to that point in her career? She's gonna try to get hot because she knows that there's nothing that she could do for her personal brand, her personal life.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But you're hanging out with like Hollywood gays. I think you gotta go hang out with some fat Long Beach gays. Yeah, but that's like a common thing that people say. I wanna know this. What was it about him that made you wanna hang out with him off of, uh, this dating app? The Grinch face.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he said that they would come pouring in. Well, at least he's not lying. That's what I thought was so cool. Your friend is hot though. No, he's not that hot. He's not right looking, but he would meet grimy ass chicks that just wanted to fucking do blow and fuck, which is exactly what he wanted to do. And I really respected that, that he was willing to be so singular with his brand because if it was me, like I would just, I wouldn't be able to go the whole way with like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, that's cool. So is this intimidating for guys that you're a gamer and you can probably beat them in fucking World of Warcraft or whatever the fuck it is?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have haters in the video game scene? Have you ever been a victim of Gamergate?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were you also like known for your style and your looks at that time? Yea, I had the big social media following back then.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You did too. Are you forbidden? No, I know you're not. Remember forbidden? I remember her. I know that chick. You know her? Why?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Alright, I've seen you doing the teeth whitening thing a lot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's not that much. Okay. So it's less than a thousand on average when you're doing this?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But have you guys thought about like going in that direction because then there would be more opportunities? Like, I'm gonna just- For what?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Just start like working out super hard and like.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you guys feel like there are a lot of babes out there who are like kind of in the same position you're in and then they get into weird stuff like that because they feel like they have to because it's like just they start playing into like the things that these like creepy ass dudes want them to do? Like with the whole fitness thing and that kind of vibe?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. But do you eat like a pig as well? So you're just sort of balancing it?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But that's the whole problem though. It's like, okay, so I used to see this girl that had like 250k, she was like a YouTube like makeup chick. And like, I would always feel like she was kind of like holding out on like, oh I'm gonna shout you on Instagram. I'm like, bitch, I do not want you to shout me out. I don't want all these nerdy little retard girls. Like, that's not my target audience anyway. Sir, please. I got the thugs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I wouldn't want to date a girl that thought that I was super dope. Yeah, like if she was like impressed by what I have going on, that's gross to me. Also, what am I talking like this? I'm getting very ethnic here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Whenever I look at Instagram and I'm like looking at some random chick from like the Suicide Girls account or whatever, I feel like she's always Australian. And she's always got a heart in her bio with the name of some guy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Shout out to Lloyd Christmas, everybody out there, the Dumb and Dumber fans.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was like, I don't think stand-up's funny. He's like, you can't say that you don't think stand-up is funny. It's fucking comedy. All these people have been working for hundreds of years to be funny on camera. But I will say this is like, I just, alright, we're both friends with Brandon Wardell. I don't know if you guys know him. He just texted me. He could never get on Raya.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just watched him on Viceland, and I didn't think any of the people that he was doing comedy with were funny. I'm just gonna throw that out there. Oh, so he's Snapchatting now. When I watched Joe Rogan, it doesn't seem like he's Snapchatting. Yo, you're not Joe yet. Not yet, but I'm just saying.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that does sound tight. I hear him talk about that and I just wish that I was filthy rich.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Save that and send it to me so I can put it on the No Jumper Twitter, at NoJumper.com. He already let go, there's no way.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I just feel like people get mad when I say I don't like movies. Yeah, but there's a lot of comedy I don't like. No, internet's tight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No? You have that look. You look like you're a suicide girl, no offense.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You guys have never posed nude? How much? That's the price. I've never done it. I have. You have? Oh shit. But for what? For what kind of thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know what I realized too is that back when I used to go out and party in Hollywood a lot and go to clubs and stuff is that like my friends would always post pictures of me with girls and then I would always repost those pictures and then I realized that I would have like girls saying to me all the time like I know you fuck so many chicks blah blah blah and I haven't done that for like the past few years.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And so they don't say it to me as much. And I've just noticed that. But it's weird because like, those photos were almost always with chicks that like my friends were hanging out with or were just drinking with them or whatever. It was very rarely.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, but we should come up with like a hashtag that like the commoners can use so that if they're gonna sexually harass them, that at least they'll know it's coming from us.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Jumper hose. Oh, there you go, yeah. Jumper cables. I don't know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like the sound of this. I'm looking at your list of questions that you have right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. But so is it fun for you to like put a photo out into the world and like get a response like, oh you're hot, I wanna...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well done. But everybody actually knows that the actual, like, the like ratio to like, to the number of followers I notice is kind of fucked up when it comes to hot girls. Oh, it's so fucked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, we just interviewed Dylan Francis, so let's not hate on the Ravers. We have a lot of rave fans now. Shout out all the Ravers. No, like I'm not hating on them. Most of them like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wow, so you have a DJX. So weird. Nice. I too bang Skrillex.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I feel like Skrillex will do this podcast within the next 12 months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. So are you a big EDM fan? Cause I'm totally not, and that's why I think it's funny that I get to interview all these dudes. I mean, I play it, so.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, the other day for like an hour I went and I listened to Getter and I listened to Dylan Francis because I'd just been hanging out with them and then I officially concurred by the end of it like I'm not an EDM guy. I'm an ignorant rap music guy and that's okay. You love rap, you love rap.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I seen you with Yavery on Instagram and I was like, whoa, small world, all these hot people know each other.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's gonna be hyped that we're giving her some, some coverage on her. Shout out to Avery, I don't know who you are. Shout out to Avery on Instagram. Oh, Avery. But she's Gettyr's girlfriend, she's super nice and cool, yea. We should do a 30 person podcast. A 30, every person.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know what that is, but yeaah. So you think you're smarter than all of us? They thought I was smart.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I graduated in 2002, I just want to make that clear.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Shout out to Josh Irvine, that's my favorite Australian person. No, and Liam Zingbergs. Just some type.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No, they're BMX guys. Shout out to, uh, Dave, Dave, uh, just Dave, Dave Mirren.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Now I wanted to shout Dave, Dave Dilworth, but his last name escaped me for a moment. As long as we're doing the Australian thing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ever see the dancing bear videos? I don't think so. Hey, can I ask this? What uh, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If a girl pays for a lap dance from a dude, what is like the extent to which the craziest shit she is able to do with that guy? Because like a lot of people know, you go into the background with a stripper, maybe you can touch her vagina a little, you can touch her boobs, whatever, that's like


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Really? They can't even put their hands out? Uh-uh. Really? No. Even in the, in the lap dance room? In the lap dance room. Really? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've dated chicks who've done a lot worse than stripping. I'll tell you that much, Robesman. Uh, so yeaah, I feel like I could tough it out, but I feel like for a lot of guys it would be hard. Uhm, I do want to say this though, is that the last time that I went to a strip club was in maybe November, and I met this black stripper who, well,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyway, so I meet this stripper, she's like on stage, she comes down to talk to me, she gets my phone number, and then we hang out, we go and get Chick-fil-A, we go back to my house, we're like cuddling or whatever, and then she all like, I try to make out with her, make out a little bit, and then she's like, you know, I gotta go, she leaves, and the next day I'm texting her like trying to hang out with her again.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn Daniel, yeaah. But this is to me is like, we need- I've never met Laura until tonight, but I know that like-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I'm always telling girls like, yeah, I'm on the list. You want to go to this? But is that douchey? Cause it's like, even if it's true, like. I definitely wasn't on the list.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See, I love stuff in my face with food and it just sucks because I feel like a lot of girls in LA that don't really like to eat like that. They're on diets and such.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's one thing for me about LA is I only like to hang out with famous or important people in the context of my podcast. Cause I've never, anybody, I've interviewed all these cool rappers and stuff and I never hang out with them after.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't know, I just feel like I'm kinda like in my own world of doing all these- I've been doing podcasts like every night for weeks and weeks.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo, so from Rosemary's perspective, why didn't you take her on 18 dates to get the pussy? What happened?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] See that's the problem is that I have one ex-girlfriend that's like super poppin' but she's like married and like she texted me the other day like basically just trying to talk shit like cause I haven't talked


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] She's, uh. Hey, that was a good flex right there. Like, they like the girl that I just named, yea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Bruh, I don't really have a lot going on for me in terms of my ability to flex besides just personality. That's like, in my opinion, that's all I have to offer is just the talking. I just talk.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] No doubt that's definitely happening. But this is the thing, is that also I'm interviewing a porn babe tomorrow. Two porn babes. So we're gonna see who does more views.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I like Robeson on here though. I think Robeson's poppin'. And I like the idea of Robeson bringing in, uh, random babes. Let's do this again. Hey, yeaah. Let's do this again. Uhm, thank you very much to, uh, the girls for coming through and, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Tune in, YouTube, Soundcloud, iTunes, send us the follow, send us the subscribe, uh, and also on Twitter, nojumper.com, D-O-T-C-O-M spelled out, and also Instagram as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And, uh, Robeson, you look like you have something on the tip of your tongue here. Let's get to it, bruh! He wants to drink more. You guys wanna go to the bar next door? Let's go. Sure. Wow, it's lit. Alright. Alright, bye. Thank you very much to everybody who watched this whole thing. Peace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Come here. What say the Spanish? Is it war? Not yet, sire. Then what is it? Speak, man, speak. King Philip feels that the forces who fan the flames of hatred toward France can still be thwarted. But how, how? An alliance based on royal marriage. Royal marriage? Yes, sire. Between Maria, Princess of Spain, and a French nobleman of your choosing.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hey, Barbara. Oh, yes, sire, very attractive. But he doesn't even speak Spanish.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anger is the effort of a limited mind to express itself. Now shut up, you idiot, and powder my wig! Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I was only repeating what Mimi told me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And once and for all, who is this Mimi? My girl, sire. She dreams of position, power, why she'd like to...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Anyone we know? Why, I've no idea, Your Majesty. That is, I... It's mine, Your Majesty. Yours? I carry one for show and one for blow. Delightful scent, isn't it? I wouldn't give two scents for those other scents. Comes all the way from France. This is France!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Goodbye, Your Majesty. Why don't you fall off there and break your big fat neck.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you have a spare thong? I think so. Look under the seat, Chico.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One I'm still kickin'. Get in there. Oh, he's dead. Oh, then I don't blame him for kickin'. There's nothing more to worry about, Your Grace. My grace? My grace? Oh, my gracious. Well done, my good man. Well done.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Remind me to reward you handsomely with a goat skin full of, uh, goats or something. Thank you, Your Grace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, I must run along now and sharpen my sword. You can never tell where we'll meet more of these cadds. Don't be long, my good man. Your grace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm. What's going on behind that hmm? It might work at that. What might work at what? Your grace.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I trust your grace had a pleasant trip.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What do you mean? I didn't expect this of a clever fellow like you, Bocaire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stopping child. Tell her of my displeasure. Don't let her out of your sight.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Very amusing, my dear Deshaun. Thank you, your honor. I mean, your majesty.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where is he? I mean- Obviously stolen from your grave. What did you do with him? What do you suppose we would do with a lackey?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you, I'm not going to need any luck. Call out the compliment for review at once. Yes, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can you see without them? Yes sir. Then take them off.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If it's too great a strain for you to appear in time for inspection, there's a boat leaving for New York tomorrow. Thank you for the information. Sir. Sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Until you become commander in chief, Cadet Shelton, you'll have no need for a valet.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But inasmuch as I have been appointed acting commandant during Colonel Williams absence,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I intend to perform my duties to the letter of the law. I am a soldier, not a school mom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Disorderly conduct. Absent from post limits without written permission. Sergeant.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I expect you gone by noon tomorrow. Anybody else?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] What about you, Sheldon? Is bread and water too much for you?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Respectfully request permission for bombardiers to thrash cadets. Unfortunately, that's against regulation, Sergeant. What happened? Well, I can't tell you, sir. You gotta let us take steps, sir. It's a matter of honor.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] One of you went over the head of your commander and appealed to a politician for redress.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And took care to hide his identity behind the signature, a patriot. This is cowardice. Unless the culprit steps forward with his resignation immediately.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] A company which refuses to divulge a culprit is made to ride the cannon. You will all enjoy that ride this afternoon. Scully, you will get the cannon ready. The entire battery. Yes, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] East is advanced by the right. At the walk, ho!


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] This is the discipline I learned in the regular army and I'm doing them the honor of treating them as soldiers. Mr. Massey.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We'll see how many of them will last till morning. Ten, sir.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Pursuant to paragraph 6, general orders 21, these headquarters, copy and closed herewith.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You will proceed at once with your entire command to Indiana territory for duty in the field against hostile Indians. Two.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] On your arrival, you will report to Major General Harrison for further orders.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Have they told you there's an army coming from the west and another from the east? That reinforcements are already in the fort? Will you make peace now, Jakumsa?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nonsense, there is. You can accept a commission. You deserve it above any man I know.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You may have a game leg, but you're not a cripple. You can be a useful and efficient officer. And I want you to come back and graduate with your class.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I am resolved to do all in my power to make this academy a permanent establishment


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] For the inspiration and training of our future fighting men.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that in every crisis our nation may face in the future, West Point will give us a leader who can meet it. It is my privilege to present these certificates of proficiency and to wish the men that have earned them.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Wouldn't it be a most unhappy circumstance if his grace would meet with an accident during his stay in Spain, hm? Shall we say?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Try for a lady of your obvious accomplishments.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Stupid, fawning women. They'll spoil everything. All right, my dear, you promised to be of help. Go out there, dance with him, and make sure he attends the party.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Your Majesty, may I have the honor of proposing the first toast of the evening? Certainly, General. Thank you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, well, well, well, now wouldn't it be embarrassing if his grace were to be detained down here, prisoner, while tomorrow...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, sure. So, uh, I'm a current rising junior at Vanderbilt. I spent this last summer at a seed stage startup. Uh, so it was a really small group of just six of us. Uh, it was a lot of fun. And then I spent the summer before that doing software engineering at, uh, like a business intelligence firm called MicroStrategy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From what I've heard, I've found that product management roles are very difficult to jump into right out of school.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, and at least looking back at the experiences I've had in this past summer at the small startup and then the summer before that at the, like, bigger enterprise, I thought about things like what do I, do I, and do I not like about, uh, like software engineering, do I do not like about marketing, like, and just the different, like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Great, uh, so my favorite product is Slack. So until using Slack, I never understood why people raved about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I mean, I didn't understand how it could be different from any other chat application. They all seem the same to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So the only difference to me was the one that my friends were on at the time. Since my internship finished,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I've unsuccessfully tried to get my friends to convert our personal chats to the application, because I'm a true believer of like, of the product as a whole. Uhm, now here's why. So the first of, I have three reasons. The first of those is reimagined notifications.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I can't be the only person in the past who's been bothered by, uh, the fact that when I walk away from a group message for a couple hours, I'm bombarded with so many messages that I decide to look at none of them. I mean, there's just too many to possibly go through.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, uh, I think this might be a function of the KPIs that like Facebook has or like GroupMe has where they're trying to keep you on the platform as long as possible to serve you ads or, uh, for god knows what. But, uh, they want to know, like, their goal is to notify you every time that they send you a message because they watch you back on that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, and I found that very interesting. So I'll only get notified when someone does the at here sign or someone types my name at something. That's the only time that I get notification. But beyond that, if it's not like necessary for myself to see it, I can see that anytime in the future, but I'm not going to get a notification saying, hey, you should see this right now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, another thing I found very interesting was the access to like old and like what some might call like irrelevant messages. So like if I was like a marketer, I could see what the software engineers were working on. I could see what the salespeople were working on.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because of the channel-based system, so I never thought this would be important until I started my last internship, where the first thing I was given was my Slack account, and anytime I had any downtime during the first couple days,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I went through, I started going through some old channels and I was able to see like not only how people interacted, but also what the goals were for the next couple of weeks and what everyone was working on without anyone having to come and bring me up to speed.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, so I, I found this very interesting to see what the entire company was working on. I mean, as a six person team, it wasn't difficult to see what the company was working on. There's a 600 person team. It would give, it gives you insight into the organization without someone having to walk you through every step.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like I didn't have to be given any, uh, like access to any tools to be able to see any of this information. I was given full trust of our, like everything that was happening in the company immediately without having to ask for any permissions.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's something I don't like about Slack, where, uh, like, when I said I tried to get my friends to start using it, I found that, like, uh,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like I found it was impossible because the product was seriously not built for it. Like for me to get my friends to use it, I would have had to create an organization around my friend group. Uh, and then like I would not be able to add anyone to it unless I added someone to that organization. So it was just like a wildly painful thing. But this is something I think like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But like versus Slack is a closed platform, so I'm only able to talk to people in my organization. I know anytime I open it up, it's just gonna be messages that are pretty useful for myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So that's a great idea and I think that's like the biggest thing that Slack needs to do right now. Like that's an area that Slack needs to move in. So the issue with Slack right now is that like if you


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you think about it, the network effects behind Slack are like, it spreads like wildfire.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Like, intra-organizationally, but intra-organizationally, there's absolutely zero network. So like, uh, so like me at a, at Google, for example, like me at Google.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So this is something that, like, Slack needs to focus on right now, which is the inter-organizational communication, right? So how could they do this, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, but inter-organizational, like, messages can be a good thing, right? So like, I, at my tech startup, would want to talk to a ton of other people at different organizations, and this kind of creates that sticky factor, where it says, like, if every other startup is using it for their communication, there's no spam that's going through it, because, like, it's my name that's tied to everything, right? So it's not, like, a faceless person that's reaching out to me.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if every other startup is using, uh, Slack, for example, I don't have the option to go into. Facebook has their own product. I think it's Workplace, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, is the fact that like, or is the thought process that all ideas are ephemeral? So like, uh, it's very difficult to make decisions over Slack because, uh, anytime an idea is brought up, people immediately start discussing it. Uh, but it's impossible for anyone to come in after the fact a couple hours later and rehash that idea.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, well it's like asynchronous with quotations, but it causes that online, like you always need to be online.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So I think a similar system could be implemented in Slack, where like as I said, one of the things I dislike is the fact that all ideas are like are short.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But if someone just posted an outline of what they want to happen, what they hope the out, like the expected outcome for that is, and everyone can comment on that, but, uh, no one's able to see the comments that anyone else gives for a set period of time, so it gives everyone the time to think through it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] At least I feel like when I'm rushed to think of an idea, uh, within a couple minutes, I feel like I come up with poor ideas. And if I'm given four hours and some alone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I agree with you there. I mean, I get why it has to be done in product management interviews, but like, in the real world, the company is hoping for the best possible outcome. Like, they don't care if it takes four minutes or four hours, because that's still an irrelevant time to an organization.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uhm, like if you just give the person a couple hours, uh, so like I think in practice, I think this would be like a very effective way of making sure the best possible idea happens within the organization.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It could be like a sub-channel called Ideas or something of that sort, but people get notified saying, hey, here's this idea that Stephen has come up with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The thought process behind like the CEO should be the last person to stand up and say what they think about the product.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, uh, I was just gonna say, I wonder if that's something Facebook AB tested. Like, cause I, I often like have like 10 notifications and like all 10 of them are just like absolutely useless. So maybe it just makes people feel better when there's just like tons of notifications sitting there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Can I ask a question? Is that, is that question meant to, uh, kind of probe me on what do I think, like where do I think the organization can improve?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Uh, or is it trying to, like, so it's not trying to see what I would do to fix it. Like, it's just where I see pain points.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure, yeaah. If it were me, I think I'd think through, like, what's important to the product, right? So, like, it's kind of like the idea of, like, maybe less of a big companies, but you want to build an MVP and test out your, like, hypothesis of is your product, like, does your product have, like, viable users, uhm, before, like, investing a ton of money into it. So you want to stack rank how important are the features to building it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was still thinking about Jamie and Hamish when I came to bed that night. I turned down the thick quilts, smiling to myself.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] There was a cool draft from the window, and I looked forward to crawling under the quilts and nestling against Jamie's warmth. Impervious to cold, he seemed to carry a small furnace within himself, and his skin was always warm, sometimes almost hot.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As though he burned more fiercely in answer to my own cool touch.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was still a stranger and an outlander, but no longer a guest at the castle.


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[Assistant] The younger girl seems strongly to resent the fact that I removed an eligible young bachelor from circulation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Noting the number of cold glances and behind-the-hand remarks, I rather wondered just how many of the castle maidens had found their way into a secluded alcove with Jamie McTavish during his short residency. McTavish no longer, of course. Most of the castle inhabitants had always known who he was, and whether I was an English spy or not, I now knew of necessity as well.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So he became Fraser, publicly, and so did I.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It was as Mistress Fraser that I was welcomed into the room above the kitchen where the married women did their sewing and rocked their babies, exchanging bits of mother-lore and eyeing my own waistline with frank appraisal. Because of my earlier difficulties in conceiving,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I hadn't considered the possibility of pregnancy when I agreed to marry Jamie.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And I waited in some apprehension until my monthly occurred on time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My feelings this time were entirely of relief, with none of the sadness that usually accompanied it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] My life was more than complicated enough at the moment, without introducing a baby into it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I thought that Jamie perhaps felt a small twinge of regret, though he also professed himself relieved.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Fatherhood was a luxury that a man in his position could ill afford. The door opened.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he came in, still rubbing his head with a linen towel, water droplets from his wet hair darkening his shirt. Where have you been? I asked in astonishment.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Luxurious as Lioch might be in contrast to the residencies of Village and Croft.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It didn't boast any bathing facilities beyond a copper tub that Colum used to soak his aching legs.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And a slightly larger one used by such ladies as thought the labour involved in filling it worth the privacy.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] All other washing was done either in bits, using basin and ewer, or outside, either in the loch or in a small stone-floored chamber off the garden.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Where the young women were accustomed to stand naked and let their friends throw buckets of water over them. In the loch, he answered, hanging the damp towel neatly over the windowsill. Someone.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He said grimly, left the stall door ajar, and the stable door as well, and Coor had a wee swim in the twilight. Oh, so that's why you weren't at supper. But horses don't like to swim, do they? I asked.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair to dry it. No, they don't. But they're just like folk you can. All different. And Coor is fond of the young water plants.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He was down nibbling by the water's edge when a pack of dogs from the village came along and chased him into the loch. I had to run them off and then go in after him. Wait till I get my hands on wee Hamish, he said with grim intent. I'll teach him to leave gates ajar.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Nojumper, coolest podcast in the world. And today on the show, I've got, uh, East Oakland's very own Filthy Rich. How you doing, man?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Crazy man, uh, so we had Mozzie in here the other day, like a frequent complaint from a lot of people out there was that we just weren't representing the Bay well enough. You know, we had V Nasty, but, kinda we were slacking for a while, so now we got you and Mozzie in the same month, so I feel like we're doing a much better job with the representation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what's up. Uhm, yeaah, like one of the things that's craziest when I was researching and stuff is just how unbelievable your output is. Like you are just the, I often feel that way, like I don't know what rappers feel like they're so busy doing a lot of the time, but with you, you just like are clearly working at an unbelievable rate.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You ever feel like, well I feel like with the average rapper the reason why they would not put out as much stuff is because they're scared of like, watering.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] They're content down or overwhelming the consumer. There's a lot of rappers out now who really like,


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Put out stuff so selectively, you know, they drop a video every few months.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When you first started coming out, like, what was the promotional stuff that you were doing? Cause you've been in the game for over 10 years. Like, what were you doing back then to get your stuff out there? Were you selling stuff hand to hand?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Who inspired you to have that kind of mentality? Who sort of put you on the game? Okay.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Sure. Yeah, it's weird, like, I think that's kind of when a boy becomes a man, like that moment where you start to realize that every hour in your day is an opportunity.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And you need to be out there working your ass off and the, you know, like there's only so long you can go in your life where you're sitting around trying to get 40 bucks to smoke some weed and just hanging out with the homies and shit. And there comes a point where you sort of have to become a man and start thinking about what you're doing with your time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So, in this noisy article I was reading about you, it's like pretty crazy how fast they tried to summarize your come up. They're talking about that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You know, they fast forward from, you were living with your elementary school teachers in various shelters and jails and then in the next sentence, it's like, oh, and then you got shot three times and now we're here. And I was just like, wow, that's a lot of fucking history right there that needs to be fleshed out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Were you able to make a clean break between the street stuff and the music stuff or was that like a messy thing?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, uh, there's a lot of similarities, like people call you the Gucci man of the bay. You're probably kind of sick of talking about that comparison, right? Because you didn't invent it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you had them in the bodega rapping. In that one video. The corner store. We said bodega on the east coast, now I'm out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, cause you have like an unbelievable number of features on your tape, like the newest tape, and like Gucci's just one of them, you got fucking Lil Uzi Vert and stuff on there, you're just like the king of meeting these fools, how do you always-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] If you, if you're a rapper and you're in Oakland, is it pretty common for them to try to check in with you and make sure that they're all set?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Totally. Yeah, that, that fucking, the Gucci video is pretty crazy. It was just like unbelievable to see him in the, in that environment. It just kind of says a lot too.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Did he say anything in particular that stuck with you in terms of like the conversations you guys were having?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And he's such a kind of guy that like, he just knows that the more people that are around him, the more opportunity it is to get in trouble. Cause he's had that happen so many times.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As soon as there's a celebrity involved, yeah, and that's one thing, I read his autobiography was about to come out, which is amazing, it's one of-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yo, it's fire. But he says in it, like, he just keeps talking about how when he was at the lowest points in his life, when he was really depressed, when things were really bad, he would go back to the street shit. Like, throughout his career. And that was kinda crazy to think about, that that was like, his form of depression.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and it's weird for like somebody like you or somebody who's done that before, it's that like, you know, selling drugs, that's like the easiest thing you could be doing with your time. You know, like in comparison to the rap thing where you have


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah, cause like, rapping is weird because you have to do all these things that don't make you money, for the one thing that does make you money. Like, you gotta do all this promotion, you gotta do all this social media, all this bullshit, so that when you do a show, the show will be good. Or when you put a tape out, people will spend money on it, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's tight. That's some old school. Yeah. Uhm, okay, so moving on. Uhm, okay, let's go back to the early days. Like, what were you like as a kid? And like, what was your home, your upbringing like? Uh, your parents? I wanna know about all that stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Damn, so was there a point where, was there ever like hope along the way or would you just sort of get right into the street shift from a young age and just keep going full-fledged with that or were there things that you were working on trying to fix your life or what was that path like?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] When did you start to get exposed to the idea of like you being able to do something more productive with your life?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's crazy cause I feel like a lot of people have stories where they get locked up and they're in the holding cell or whatever and like a cop says something to them and it actually makes an impact on them because in that moment is like, it's like the worst moment in your life. Like you just fucked up enough that you're like now locked up.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It's like, you know, you just at that moment, like your brain is just going crazy because you're like, man, like, what am I going to do? It's such a crisis, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But is it a trap in the sense that they set you up to fail because it's like any little tiny thing that you do.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Up in the bay though, when I first like went to fucking Oakland, San Francisco and shit, it was the first time that I like saw people smoking out in public all fucking day, sitting in Dolores Park, people drinking 40s and fucking smoking all day. I'd never seen that from the East Coast. It was like a whole new world to me when I first came out here.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, they're just like a little more advanced. Like, you could do that in a lot of places now, but at the time, it just seemed crazy to me like 10, 15 years ago.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, so how do you- You're just in New York. Uh, yeah, I just went out to New York for a little bit, but I lived there for like seven years before I moved here. Yeah. How'd you find out about this podcast? Anyway, it was the mozzie one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Oh, okay. Okay, nice. That's tight. Yeah, that fucking Mozzie podcast shit heated up. I fucking got people trying to blame me for all this crazy street shit that happened after they came out.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I didn't even realize that he was saying anything that inflammatory and then I'm like, it was fucked up though as all the YouTube titles have like, you know, five shot after Mozzie's statements in a no jumper interview. Oh my god.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] It'll be like a 10 minute video, like Filthy Rich said this. You watch the 10 minute video and it's like you on live, you're talking about all kinds of different shit, but you didn't really say what they're saying that you said. That shit is insane, man.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So you've seen it from the pre-internet days where people behaved in a certain way and now you get to perceive the world as an adult living in a little kid's world.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. I bought like two lines of fucking quali over there in the kitchen and then an empty bottle was just sitting there and in the course of like two days I seen like 800 people take a photo with an empty bottle like flexing with it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's like that one future skit where he's like, I forget, he's buying some drugs or whatever and the drug dealer's asking him for the Instagram shout out and shit and I'm like, man, I bet that happens all the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You think there's something kinda sus about a selfie? Of course.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I used to think selfies were super girly and gay too, but I kinda like forgot about that because it's become so common now.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, let's lay down some other ground rules as well. Don't try to talk to me or shake my hand while I'm eating. I just wanna throw that out there, especially if I'm with a girl.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's terrible. What are the other ones? The bathroom. Don't do it in the bathroom. Never talk to another guy in the bathroom.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's super scary too. Especially from, from the perspective of somebody like you that has actual


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Probably issues with people. There's people that, you know, you're looking out for. You're thinking about your involvement and then you got fans who are running up on you and they're grown ass men. They're not that, they're not like little kids. They're running up on you on the street asking for a picture or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, and you feel bad too because like you're standing there taking a picture with them and then they're like shaking and shit and then you realize like how big a deal that is to them. Because it's kind of hard for you to imagine like, you know, you meet Gucci, you take a picture with Gucci. It's like, yeah, you looked up for Gucci to Gucci for 10 years, but you still know how to act like it's normal. A lot of these kids, they never met anybody who was like that to them, you know?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You gotta go through your, get your jitters off, like when you're a little kid. When I think about like how I would have felt if I met Snoop Dogg when I was 18, 16, something like that, I would have been trippin'. Yeah, so do you really get busted for selling cocaine on your first actual rap tour?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's what it says on your Wikipedia that you got busted for selling coke on your tour with Mr. Fab and all these other guys.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Well, sometimes I hear that about rappers is like, damn, they still so coke on tour. They still do this and that. I'm like, Jesus Christ, these guys are really dedicated to that lifestyle.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's, that's, I aspire to be on that kind of level. You know, you got a million in the bank, still down to sell an eight ball. That's just like, that shows real dedication. See, I'm still thinking small, man. I never saw nothing bigger than an eight ball. No way. That's too rich for my blood.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I love that, that's the best. Uhm, so you put out 50 albums in the last 10 years, that's a fact?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More than 50. Damn. So, but you went crazy in 2016? Are you slowing it down a little bit for 2017? Or like, what's your attitude now?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yea, that'd be right though. Yea, a lot of people approach you probably over the years and stuff.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. The Bay is like such a unique place in that, it's like, you could be a star there and not necessarily like- Be known to the world. Yeaah. Is that always been the challenge you feel like? Is it for you to be able to-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's dope. Yeah, it's like different, different levels to like celebrity. Like, you know, you could be like, like you definitely are like a


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like doing well for yourself is not really that relatable in general. That's why sometimes like when I think about rappers who like all their songs about jewelry and designer shit and stuff, I'm like, man do the fan-


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You feel like that's kind of an issue though that the fans don't want to see you for that? And like, we've all seen artists who like, got to a point in their life where they were happy in a relationship.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Do you feel like you face the same challenge with talking about, like, political issues and stuff like that, injustice, where the fans don't necessarily want to hear it, but do you still feel like you need to touch on those kind of topics?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, it's kind of a weird, uh, line. Uhm, okay, so who else do you feel like is really putting on for Oakland and everything right now, or the Bay in general? Like, when you look at other people out there doing it, you got G-Eazy on your album. Notice that.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. Yeah, I've seen you fucking with SOB, RBE, Heavy, uh, like, do you feel like it's kind of your responsibility, like, when new acts are coming out and getting hot from your area that you want to go meet with them, link with them, work together?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. But in the early days, before they even started coming out, like, do you look at them and be like, I want to help them out?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's crazy. Uh, do you feel like the cops still, like, have a target on your head where they want, they wanna fuck with you because you come from a background like you do?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Because there's a lot of like, people in the hood and shit who realistically are not gonna travel a half hour or an hour to go to a show.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] From my perspective, it seems fucked up by the cops though, because shouldn't, like, if, if there's an issue with violence at shows, well doesn't that just mean like, okay, let's get more security, let's make sure this shit is really safe? It's not like, oh, let's not ever let this guy perform there, right?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] So what would they do? They would just contact the venue and not let it happen?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, like there's gonna be a fucking war or something. And then when you actually go to rap shows, it's like, it's young ass kids most of the time.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] People ain't fighting in the strip club that much anyway. People are happy in the strip club.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmhm, that's crazy. Uhm, yeaah, the, uh, the issue of checking in is something I'm really intrigued by. You think I should check in with you if I go up there?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I need the video cameo. That's all I'm concerned with.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] The white guy video came in, it was very rare though, it was like, you really know a white guy is doing something right if he gets to be in the video for a second.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] But people don't realize that when you have been putting out content for as long as you have, it's like you might have old albums that are only getting played so many times in a month, but it's like if you have a lot of those old albums that are making a smaller amount of money, they all join.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's fuckin' wild, man. A lot of money to be made out there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeaah. You see that statistic that just came out in the news where they were like, uh, off XO Tour Life, Lil Uzi made $900,000 and the label made $3.5 million?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, I mean at the end of the day, your business arrangement is what it is until...


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] He says something like the bad and bougie verse that he did, he got paid like 20,000, like the set amount for the verse or whatever it was and then nothing after that, like he just got the, he didn't have points on it or whatever.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, yeah, I hear about those kind of deals too. How's the, are you still, you still do a lot of features?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's true. Do you have somebody who like would handle features and that kind of thing for you, or is that the sort of thing where you're having those conversations on your own, or is this something?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah. You ever done, made beats for yourself as well? No, I haven't. I'm gonna touch that. That's the, the devil's, the devil's magic. Yeah. Uhm, so how much weed do you smoke on an average week? At this point in your life?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Mmhm. Yeaah. Fuckin'. Is that more or less than you smoked like earlier in your life? Like have you gotten crazier with it or less? Earlier, I sold weed. Oh yeaah.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was just in New York. I was in the studio and I bought a quarter off some kid for 80 bucks or some mid. I didn't really like think about it. And then I was just like, 80 bucks bro? And I got to worry about the cops seeing me on the street in New York. I'm like, what the fuck man? It was like fucking Iraq over there.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] 80 bucks for a quarter. And that's like normal out there apparently, I dunno.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I was at a studio full of fucking rappers too. I don't know, I probably got jugged. They probably did it on purpose. Uhm, how do you feel about like the weed game as like a business at this point though? You ever think about getting into like the dispensaries, all that shit?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's tight. Yeah, it's kind of crazy for somebody who sold weed illegally to now see all these people making millions or blowing millions or whatever like doing the weed business legally and shit. All these crazy corporations trying to get involved in it and shit.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah, that's where they're all gonna get fired. It's scary to think the weed game could get turned into like the way cigarettes are, where it's just these gigantic corporations owning it and shit. That's what we all gotta be scared of, I think. You ever have any issues with the serve though? Like, are you the kind of person that could just keep it to a moderate intake and not have any problems or anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Was it bad enough that you were like panicking and freaking out? Were you losing a lot of blood?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Right. Damn, why the fuck would somebody want to kill you, especially in 2012?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had two of them at the time. So it wasn't like some old beef, it was just somebody who didn't like seeing you flexing? I don't know who it is. You really didn't, you never found out or anything?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] That's rough. Uhm, alright, yeaah, oh yeaah, I wanted to talk about gun laws. What do you think, do you think, like, do you think, like what's your attitude on how guns should be regulated by the government?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Hmm. Yeaah, it's crazy, like I think about my parents living in like a super, like kinda area where they would never have to think about that, but if, if they did live in an area where they would have to be concerned about something like that, I was like, who the fuck is the government to be telling you that you can't protect yourself in your own home?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I dunno. Weird. Alright, uhm, anything else we should cover? Anything you got coming out that we should know about?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Yeah man, putting on. Hey, well it's been dope having you on the show. I'm glad we got to have this conversation.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Learn about what you got going on and everything, yea man, appreciate it. Filthy Rich, check him out on YouTube, Soundcloud, all that shit, Instagram.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Amazing. Alright, No Jumper, coolest podcast in the world. Check us out on YouTube, Soundcloud, iTunes. Bang.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] As long as I live, no matter how far I go from the scene of it, I shall never forget how it started.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Daisy's art behavior made no impression on me, whatever. By the next morning at rehearsal, I had forgotten all about it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Georgie, how do you get to be a lady?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] According to the police, Daisy had been drugged and then smothered or strangled. They questioned us for more than an hour.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Why would anybody want to murder Daisy Arrow? I kept asking myself over and over.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I had forgotten all about the cab and the white horse until then. Of course in London a white horse was no novelty. Yet there was always a chance it might be the one.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We always seem to meet in all ways, don't we, Mr. Drago?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] We're not discussing blackmail, Mr. Drago. We're discussing murder.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You can't scare me. You killed Daisy Arrow. I saw you that night and I saw you coming out of her room Sunday morning. And what's more, the cabman that drove you to Eide Park can identify you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] You'll be sorry. It wasn't much I was going to ask.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Of course I am. Otherwise, why'd you try to buy me off?


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And the guy my love most was pretendin' I was a lady at a great house.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] And my word, how the sun shines. People in town don't know what they're missing. Everywhere you look, it's so lovely. You'd expect to see a calendar pasted under it.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] Thank you. I hope I shan't be too much, father.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] More wonderful. Every minute's like something magic in a Christmas panto. Lady Margaret's been so kind. And you, you've been so decent. But I'm afraid I'll never understand you.


[User] Please transcribe this text

[Assistant] I don't care what you've done. Nothing matters now.


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[Assistant] The village doctor testified that Audrey had died from an overdose of sleeping powders. Apparently self-administered. Traces of it were found in the teacup at her bedside. I told the truth and gave the best answers I could.


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[Assistant] And evidently the local police place no significance on the presence of the Bible and the Moss Rose.


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[Assistant] When the inquest was over, the police held Michael for further questioning. And that night, Inspector Klinner sent for me.


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[Assistant] And now I'm thousands of miles from Charlie Manor and London. Places and things I've known all my life. Lady Margaret is dead.


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[Assistant] But all of that is in the past. And there I must keep it.


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[Assistant] Very good, sir. Take Mr. Drego's bags back to his room. I'm glad you're staying on with us, sir. Good tab, Mr. Drego.


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[Assistant] There's an Inspector Klinner from Scotland Yard to see you, sir. Klinner? Yes sir, and there's another man with him.


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[Assistant] If you throw in a punch and represent a break at the same time, you can't stop.


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[Assistant] I think the role of religion was a band that was a lifesaver in the middle of an ocean when it needed to be. I think it was a buoy, you know, that was floating there to grab onto and pull him where he had to be pulled when he was in tough situations.


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[Assistant] Holyfield showed us that monsters do not exist. They are figments of children's imagination. And if you face something with a righteousness, with a worth, with a preparedness, then you can do almost anything.


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[Assistant] When Holyfield stood up to the bully and chopped him down, he became part of the American legend.


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[Assistant] When Holyfield stood up to the bully and chopped him down, he became part of the American legend.


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[Assistant] I slipped my arms into his sleeves and then buttoned it swiftly over my ragged bodice. Of course that left him without a shirt, and it was impossible not to find that distracting. I'll race you, I said, and then cautioned. No throwing the game this time. He dropped my hand and grinned. On your mark.


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[Assistant] Finding my way to my new home was simpler than walking down Charlie Street to my old one. Our scent left a clear and easy trail to follow, even running as fast as I could. Edward had me beat till we hit the river. I took a chance and made my leap early, trying to use my extra strength to win. Ha! I exalted when I heard my feet touch the grass first. Listening for his landing, I heard something I did not expect, something loud and much too close.


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[Assistant] A thudding heart. Edward was beside me in the same second, his hands clamped down hard on the tops of my arms. Don't breathe, he cautioned me urgently. I tried not to panic as I froze mid-breath. My eyes were the only things that moved, wheeling instinctively to find the source of the sound.


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[Assistant] Jacob stood at the line where the forest touched the Cullen's lawn, his arms folded across his body, his jaw clenched tight. Invisible in the woods behind him, I heard now two larger hearts.


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[Assistant] And then his expression twisted from concern into something else. He shrugged and there was an undercurrent of hostility in his voice when he said, it's your neck, I guess. The growl from the forest was furious this time. Leah, I had no doubt. What was with Edward after all that we'd been through?


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[Assistant] I thought, maybe foolishly, that Edward was sort of Jacob's friend now too. I must have misread them. But what was Jacob doing?


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[Assistant] Why would he offer himself as a test to protect Renesmee? It didn't make any sense to me, even if our friendship had survived. And as my eyes met Jacob's now, I thought that maybe it had. He still looked like my best friend, but he wasn't the one who had changed. What did I look like to him? Then he smiled his familiar smile, the smile of a kindred spirit, and I was sure our friendship was intact.


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[Assistant] Again I noticed that the strange need I'd felt for him before I'd changed was completely gone. He was just my friend, the way it was supposed to be. It still made no sense what he was doing now though.


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[Assistant] I'm doing something in an uncontrolled split second that I would regret in agony forever?