@import "MatrixViewCommon.less";

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView {
	cursor: default;
	.select-none;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGrid {
	position: absolute;
	left: @row-header-width;
	right: 0px;
	top: @column-header-height;
	bottom: 0px;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable {
	position: relative;
	width: 100%;
	height: 100%;
	margin: 0;
	padding: 0;
	border-collapse: collapse;
	table-layout: fixed;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable tr{
	.border-box;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable td {
	text-align: right;
	vertical-align: top;
	border-bottom: @inner-border;
	border-right: @inner-border;
	.border-box;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable td span{
	padding-right: 2px;
	padding-top: 2px;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable td span.FirstVisibleDayOfMonth{
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable tr.last-child td	{
	border-bottom: @outer-border;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable td.last-child	{
	border-right: @outer-border;
}

/*
 * The dojoxCalendarColToday & dojoxCalendarColWeekend classes is added by the
 * MatrixView.styleGridCell method that can be subclassed to add/remove css classes
 */
.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable td.dojoxCalendarToday	{
	background-color: @today-color;
	font-weight: bold;
	color: @today-label-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable .dojoxCalendarWeekend {
	background-color: @week-end-color;
	color: @week-end-label-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarGridTable .dojoxCalendarDayDisabled {
	background-color: @disabled-day-color;
	color: @disabled-day-label-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarYearColumnHeader{
	position: absolute;
	left: 0px;
	top: 0px;
	width: @row-header-width;
	height: @column-header-height - 1px;
	text-align: center;
	vertical-align: middle;
	border-bottom: @outer-border;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarYearColumnHeader table{
	position: relative;
	width:100%;
	height: 100%;
	table-layout: fixed;
	border-collapse: collapse;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarYearColumnHeader table td{
	text-align: center;
	vertical-align: middle;
	border-left: @outer-border;
	border-top: @outer-border;
	border-right: @outer-border;
	.header-background;
	color: @label-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarColumnHeader {
	position: absolute;
	left: @row-header-width;
	right: 0px;
	top: 0px;
	height: @column-header-height - 1px;
	cursor: default;
	border-bottom: @outer-border;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarColumnHeaderTable {
	position: relative;
	width:100%;
	height: 100%;
	table-layout: fixed;
	border-collapse: collapse;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarColumnHeaderTable td {
	overflow:hidden;
	vertical-align: middle;
	text-align: center;
	.header-background;
	border-right: @inner-border;
	border-top: @outer-border;
	.select-none;
	color: @label-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarColumnHeaderTable td.last-child {
	border-right: @outer-border;
}

/*
 * The dojoxCalendarColWeekend class is added by the
 * ColumnView.styleColumnHeaderCell method that can be subclassed to add/remove css class.
 */
.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarColumnHeaderTable .dojoxCalendarWeekend {
	color: @week-end-label-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarRowHeader {
	position: absolute;
	left: 0px;
	top: @column-header-height;
	width: @row-header-width;
	bottom: 0;
	cursor: default;

	.select-none;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarRowHeaderTable {
	position: relative;
	width: 100%;
	height: 100%;
	border-collapse: collapse;
	table-layout: fixed;
	margin: 0;
	padding: 0;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarRowHeaderTable tr{
	.border-box;
}

/*
 * The MatrixView.styleRowHeaderCell method that can be subclassed to add/remove css classes per hour.
 */
.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarRowHeaderTable td {
	text-align: center;
	vertical-align: middle;
	border-left: @outer-border;
	border-right: @outer-border;
	border-bottom: @inner-border;
	background-color: @row-color;
	.transition-duration(0.2s);
	.border-box;
	color: @label-color;
	cursor: pointer;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarRowHeaderTable td.last-child {
	border-bottom: @outer-border;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarRowHeaderTable td.Hover {
	background-color: @row-color-hover;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarRowHeaderTable td.Active {
	background-color: @row-color-active;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarContainer {
	position: absolute;
	top: @column-header-height;
	left: @row-header-width;
	right: 0px;
	bottom: 0px;
	cursor: default;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarContainerTable {
	position: relative;
	width: 100%;
	height: 100%;
	margin: 0;
	padding: 0;
	border-collapse: collapse;
	table-layout: fixed;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarContainerTable tr{
	.border-box;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarContainerTable td{
	vertical-align: top;
	border-bottom: solid 1px transparent;
	border-right: solid 1px transparent;
	.border-box;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarContainerTable td div.dojoxCalendarContainerRow{
	position:relative;
	height:100%;
	width:100%;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEventContainer {
	position: absolute;
	overflow: hidden;
 	.select-none;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent {
	position: absolute;
	text-align: left;
	color: #000000;
	cursor: default;
	white-space: nowrap;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarHorizontal {
	color: #FFF;
	position: absolute;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarHorizontal .bg {
	border: @horizontal-border;
	position: absolute;
	left: 0;
	right: 0;
	top: 0;
	bottom: 0;
	color: #000000;
	.rounded-corners(5px);
	background-color: @horizontal-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarHorizontal.Hovered  .bg {
	background-color: @horizontal-hover-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarHorizontal.Selected .bg {
	background-color: @horizontal-selected-bg-color;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.Edited {
	color: #fff;
	font-weight: bold;
	text-decoration: none;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarHorizontal.Edited .bg {
	border: dashed 1px #FFF;
	.opacity(30);
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarHorizontal.Focused .bg {
	border: dashed 1px #FFF;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarLabel.Hovered {
	color: #F40;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarLabel.Selected {
	color: #F00;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarLabel.Edited {
	border: dashed 1px #FFF;
	background: #600;
	.opacity(30);
	color: #FFF;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarLabel.Focused {
	border: dashed 1px #000000;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarHorizontal .labels {
	position: absolute;
	left: 3px;
	right: 1px;
	bottom: 2px;
	overflow: hidden;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent.dojoxCalendarLabel .labels {
	position: absolute;
	left: 2px;
	right: 2px;
	bottom: 0;
	overflow: hidden;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent .handle {
	.glass-view;
	position: absolute;
	width:5px;
	height:100%;
	cursor:e-resize;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent .moveHandle {
	left:0;
	top:0;
	width:100%;
	cursor:move;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent .resizeStartHandle {
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarEvent .resizeEndHandle {
	right:0px;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarExpand {
	position: absolute;
	text-align: center;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarExpand span {
	display: inline-block;
	vertical-align: middle;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarExpand .bg {
	position: relative;
	margin-right: 5px;
	margin-left: 5px;
	height: 100%;
	.rounded-corners(5px);
	.transition-duration(0.2s);
	.border-box;
	border: 1px solid transparent;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarExpand.Up .bg {
	background-color: @expand-up-color;
	border: 1px solid @expand-up-color - #555555;
}

.tundra .dojoxCalendarMatrixView .dojoxCalendarExpand.Down .bg {
	background-color: @expand-down-color;
	border: 1px solid @expand-down-color - #555555;
}


A few years ago a neighbor of ours husband had an affair. Long story short, they divorced and now he lives with his affair partner. In fact, we’re not positive but we think they are now married.

Well, the other day we were at a party and our neighbor was there as well. We got to talking and somehow got on the subject of her ex-husband and their whole affair situation. We were soon shocked to discover that the affair partner’s husband committed suicide as a result of the betrayal.

When you hear something like that it really makes the idea that “affairs can be life or death” jump up and slap you in the face – hard. This person took his life and left 2 very young boys fatherless. It’s tragic to say the least.

It also begs the questions… “How has this suicide affected the relationship between the affair partners (possibly husband and wife)?” Do they feel guilty? Do they feel any remorse? Do they in any way feel responsible for the suicide? What will the mother tell the two young boys when they find out their daddy killed himself and start asking questions?” There are probably a hundred more questions we could ask…

Unfortunately, we may never know the answers to those questions. At least not straight from the horse’s mouth. The few times that we’ve run into the ex-husband around town, he has treated us as if he doesn’t even know who we are, so there is no doubt that we’re never going to have the opportunity to ask – even if we had the guts to.

This whole situation reminded us that thoughts of suicide often go hand in hand with the aftermath of infidelity. It could be that the betrayed spouse is searching for anyway to escape the pain and feels that suicide is the only answer. Cheating spouses as well might look to suicide as the answer to help them escape from their guilt and shame.

As we’ve said numerous times before, the betrayal of infidelity is a trauma, and any trauma can cause depression, anxiety, panic and a host of other emotions that can overwhelm even the strongest among us.

We realize this is a real downer of a topic but it’s an extremely important one. We do know that many of our readers have at one time considered (are considering) taking their own lives. Because of that we thought that it would be a good idea to provide some resources in an effort to help prevent anyone from taking that drastic route.

First things first…

If You Are Suicidal

If you are considering suicide, please, just call someone. Call a parent, a neighbor, your best friend, or someone you love. If you feel seriously on the verge, please call 911. They will respond lovingly and care for you. If you prefer anonymity, you can call a suicide hot line:

In the U.S. – Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433). These toll-free crisis hotlines offer 24-hour suicide prevention and support. Your call is free and confidential.

You can also contact:

Psychiatric hospital walk-in clinic

Hospital emergency room

Urgent care center/clinic

Outside the U.S. – Visit IASP or Suicide.org to find a helpline in your country.

Take Five Minutes to Read this Website:

If you are feeling suicidal and don’t want to make a call, please take five minutes and read this website: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ It was created by a very caring person and has some wonderful resources.

If You are Helping a Suicidal Person

If you are in a situation where you are trying to prevent a person from taking their own life, go to this website as it has direct and to-the-point information for helping someone who is suicidal: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo.htm

Common misconceptions about suicide

FALSE: People who talk about suicide won’t really do it.
Almost everyone who commits or attempts suicide has given some clue or warning. Do not ignore suicide threats. Statements like “you’ll be sorry when I’m dead,” “I can’t see any way out,” — no matter how casually or jokingly said, may indicate serious suicidal feelings.

FALSE: Anyone who tries to kill him/herself must be crazy.
Most suicidal people are not psychotic or insane. They must be upset, grief-stricken, depressed or despairing, but extreme distress and emotional pain are not necessarily signs of mental illness.

FALSE: If a person is determined to kill him/herself, nothing is going to stop them.
Even the most severely depressed person has mixed feelings about death, wavering until the very last moment between wanting to live and wanting to die. Most suicidal people do not want death; they want the pain to stop. The impulse to end it all, however overpowering, does not last forever.

FALSE: People who commit suicide are people who were unwilling to seek help.
Studies of suicide victims have shown that more than half had sought medical help in the six months prior to their deaths.

FALSE: Talking about suicide may give someone the idea.
You don’t give a suicidal person morbid ideas by talking about suicide. The opposite is true—bringing up the subject of suicide and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Source:SAVE – Suicide Awareness Voices of Education

Suicide Warning Signs

People who kill themselves exhibit one or more warning signs, either through what they say or what they do. The more warning signs, the greater the risk.

Talk

If a person talks about:

Killing themselves.

Having no reason to live.

Being a burden to others.

Feeling trapped.

Unbearable pain.

Behavior

A person’s suicide risk is greater if a behavior is new or has increased, especially if it’s related to a painful event, loss, or change.

Increased use of alcohol or drugs.

Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online for materials or means.

Acting recklessly.

Withdrawing from activities.

Isolating from family and friends.

Sleeping too much or too little.

Visiting or calling people to say goodbye.

Giving away prized possessions.

Aggression.

Mood

People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods.

Ways to Cope with Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings

Remember that while it may seem as if these suicidal thoughts and feelings will never end, this is never a permanent condition. You WILL feel better again. In the meantime, there are some ways to help cope with your suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Things to do

Talk with someone every day, preferably face to face. Though you feel like withdrawing, ask trusted friends and acquaintances to spend time with you. Or continue to call a crisis helpline and talk about your feelings.

Make a safety plan. Develop a set of steps that you can follow during a suicidal crisis. It should include contact numbers for your doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency.

Make a written schedule for yourself every day and stick to it, no matter what. Keep a regular routine as much as possible, even when your feelings seem out of control.

Get out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes a day.

Exercise as vigorously as is safe for you. To get the most benefit, aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day. But you can start small. Three 10-minute bursts of activity can have a positive effect on mood.

Make time for things that bring you joy. Even if very few things bring you pleasure at the moment, force yourself to do the things you used to enjoy.

Remember your personal goals. You may have always wanted to travel to a particular place, read a specific book, own a pet, move to another place, learn a new hobby, volunteer, go back to school, or start a family. Write your personal goals down.

Things to avoid:

Being alone. Solitude can make suicidal thoughts even worse. Visit a friend, or family member, or pick up the phone and call a crisis helpline.

Alcohol and drugs. Drugs and alcohol can increase depression, hamper your problem-solving ability, and can make you act impulsively.

Doing things that make you feel worse. Listening to sad music, looking at certain photographs, reading old letters, or visiting a loved one’s grave can all increase negative feelings.

Thinking about suicide and other negative thoughts. Try not to become preoccupied with suicidal thoughts as this can make them even stronger. Don’t think and rethink negative thoughts. Find a distraction. Giving yourself a break from suicidal thoughts can help, even if it’s for a short time.

Coping with suicidal thoughts – PDF download with information on how to understand your suicidal feelings and how to develop a safety plan. (Consortium for Organizational Mental Health)

Conclusion

Now we don’t pretend to think that this is an all-inclusive, exhaustive guide on suicide prevention, but it will get a person started in the right direction. If you are feeling suicidal (or know someone who is), visit these sites that are mentioned/linked to and by all means talk to someone (or read) before doing anything drastic.

Additionally, if you have experienced suicidal thoughts in the past or are in a position that deals with this sort of situation, please share your experiences, advice, tips and/or resources in the comment section below. This is important!

37 replies to "Infidelity and Suicide"

Jen

November 17, 2015

I had no idea my husband was having an affair. Things were not right or great between us and I tried to talk with my husband. Every time it was all my fault and I was his last priority. I did everything wrong. I even said to him multiple times why am I last and why do you hate me. He never had an answer. Yet how it all makes so much sense. One weekend I had enough and I decided this is it. He would be so much better off without me and he would take better care of our kids than me too. He has mentioned some study about overdoes and alcohol and prescription drugs. It was a side conversation but that started my research. I had dr appts all set up and a story and plan to get the needed medication. I had someone that would take me kids. I had letters written out to both sets of our parents so they would know how I was really feeling. And a letter to my husband. I had a long timeline to make sure I had time to do it before his birthday and a big family trip we had planned. In my kind I felt like he and everyone would be relieved to have me out of their lives and they would all be better off.

My husband went out of town for a long trip with friends about a month before my plan was going to take place. This was the longest we had been apart since we had been married. And he kept calling home saying how sad he was a missed us. And I felt amazing. The best I had felt in two years. It was a total wake up call. We didn’t need him. It was not me who was the problem. I was happy, my kids were super happy and we did not miss a beat. It made me realize he was adding nothing to me, our marriage, our family. All of a sudden it hit me I was believing everything he was saying and it just built up on me. I should have never trusted him. I thought since i confronted him for years that what he had been telling me was accurate. So sad I could not see it. But I am thankful he went on that trip. He describes it as so sad and for me it was a transforming moment.

Little did I know that he was in to middle of two affairs and had sought out online relationships too. One affair lasted 10 years and the other over five years. Looking back with hindsight it hard to give myself a break for not realizing. He always had excuses when I would talk to him about us. It was work, stress, sleep… It went on and on. And I guess he was really good at lying and being deceptive.

I wonder how both the CS and AP or OW/OM can look at themselves in the mirror each morning without wanting to cringe. Or feel any remorse about what they did.

Oh wait that would mean they are not narcissistic people who have a heart and a conscience. And even more important that they care about someone other than themselves.

And why these OW or AP actually believe the lies and crap the cheater portrays the wife or spouse to be is beyond me. So many times we are portrayed as lazy, stupid, boring, uninteresting, etc. when nothing is further from the truth.

I read that story and felt so bad for the deceased and children involved. Selfish actions and justifications for one person’s “Happiness” destroyed and shattered so many.

I wish the deceased would have had some hope that he could survive the devastation and emotionally draining nightmare he was living. For so many of us we come out the other side in a better place and are truly happy once again.

It does take time and it is hard but you can get there. It just takes a little faith in yourself sometimes.

I hear you TFW. It is a sad situation. I wish I knew more about the whole situation with the OW and her deceased ex-husband and what really transpired. We kind of hesitate to really bring the topic up with our neighbor.

Great post….very informative. I do think we need to exercise caution at what conclusions we come to. There could be so many other factors involved….for example the betrayed spouse could have been dealing with mental health issues for a long time….perhaps even unrelated to the affair.

I am in no uncertain terms condoning the betrayal BUT to say it caused the suicide….I don’t know. Most of us on site were betrayed but did not go down that path. In the end the person that chooses to take his own life…..makes that choice.

I disagree SI- with “the affair didn’t cause this person to end his life” based on a collective of people who don’t and cope with spousal betrayal. It seems like an inaccurate assessment based on saying if some don’t …than it can’t be that…..

The fact is spousal betrayal is traumatic and a life altering shattering event…I think we would be blind or in denial to say it can’t or hasn’t led to suicide. I

There are many people with depressive symptoms and some commit suicide as a result of these debilitating symptoms and many others won’t…so it’s not to say that the depressive symptoms/disorder didn’t cause a suicide – same can be said for trauma!

Having a spousal betrayal can result in PTSD or PTSD symptoms surely! PTSD can result in suicide for some people and others may not. There are many levels of severity and how one perceives the situation is a huge factor. This explains why some military vets who return from a war scene may suffer from PTSD while others may not. We all perceive trauma differently and it affects our brains differently.

That said I totally hold the spouse responsible for injuring their spouses emotional well being. They may not have intended to purposely cause malice, though it was totally neglectful….As adults we have the capabilities and mind to make decisions that take into consideration others in our lives, community, and world….

If a parent chooses to drink and drive with a child in the car they may not intend to harm that child, though it is neglectful and the parent is responsible for the child’s safety. Our spouses are responsible for creating safe physical, emotional, and spiritual space for himself/herself and the people they love. If they CHOOSE not to it’s neglectful…. and ultimately people are responsible if it’s neglect or malice.

Lastly, I don’t believe the surviving ex-spouse feels any authentic guilt..She may express it to “save face” in community, but I believe she uses the same defense mechanisms she used to cheat to extinguish any guilt…Displacement – he had mental health issues for most of our marriage…He was unhappy… Putting this on him…

People with narcissistic qualities tend to cheat…(sorry Doug) and they can change (good job Doug), but it takes a lot of therapy and strong desire to look internally. It sounds like this woman lacked that..

trying
I don’t disagree with you, I just believe in excercising some caution in the conclusions we come to. Each case is unique…and without all the facts we really don’t know. For example some ex- spouses in a situation such as Doug’s post might be totally guilt-ridden over their ex- spouses suicide or perhaps not at all. Without knowing the whole story…..how can we really know.

I need to believe that people can change and that they can feel true remorse for their actions.

Nancy— no you do not wish you were dead. You want the pain to stop. Please you are more than just a wife. You have value and are loved I am sure. Can you find someone to talk to? A minister or a therapist or caring family member? If not please contact Doug and Linda who own this blog and they can help find you help for this pain you’re experiencing. I promise the pain eases but you must take care of yourself. Hugs to you Nancy. By the way I love your name. I always wanted my name to be Nancy when I was a kid ????

If you only knew. It doesn’t happen like you think, not for me anyway. I’ve always said I was going to live forever, nothing could get me down, nothing. After my wife of 23 years got in contact with her first love and had been talking to him for almost 3 years before I found out, not sure if they ever got together in person, she says no, but she flew back home in may of 2013 and was about an hour away from him with me 800 miles away. I’m not stupid. When I asked her about it I was still calm, no yelling or screaming, I’m not a violent person, it bothers me for days if I hit an animal on the road. I asked her on Feb 2nd, our 23rd anniversary if we were ok, our last son had just graduated and moved out so I asked if we were ok since it would just be us now, she said yes that we were fine, it was Jan 30th 2014 I found all kinds of things by accident, I was still clueless. The thing that hurt the most was the pictures she was sending him on Feb 1st 2013, and many more before and after that, whenjoy I confronted her she went nuts, still says they never met face to face. But anyway, it messed up my mind so bad it felt like I was in a dream, it got so bad that I was trying to shoot myself with a shotgun, it happened so fast that I wasn’t even thinking, put the gun to my head and pulled the trigger, click, misfire, as soon as that happened I dropped the gun and was sweating so bad it was like I just stepped out of a shower and I was shaking uncontrollably, it was like it happened in a dream. I stepped outside and fired the same shell, boom, I was shaking again but not as bad. That has never happened again and I’ll do my best to keep my mind strong now so it never does. Sometimes it’s not something you plan, even the strongest mind can break. Anyway we are still together and we renewed our wedding vows on our 25th anniversary. She says she hasn’t had any contact for over a year, he tried to reach her last night, sent her a video of the back seat of his car, he had made a bed of roses, she has no idea I saw it, now I wait and see what happens, no feelings of suicide this time.

I see how this can happen and feel compassion for those who suffer. Major depression is different from sadness. It can be debilitating and is not a situation of “mind over matter.”
It is associated with shame and guilt in the sufferer.
Those in this situation (and I’ve been there) deserve our compassion.

I agree I Understand, and while betrayal may not ’cause’ suicide the level of fundamental trauma and breaking of core trust and sense of safety and self often causes massive anxiety and shock and later longstanding depression. Add to that, the feeling that the BS was not considered important enough for the CS to stop and think about their actions then the CS begins to wonder what’s the point. Personally, feeling for long periods that I could not cope and was ‘pathetic’ all the time made me take a negative view of myself. I was a mess, I didn’t even like living with myself, this was not what I wanted to be in the face of my husband’s betrayal, I wanted to be the strong person I had been drawing boundaries at D-Day 1.5 not the wreck that followed full disclosure and a second D-Day. Topped off with ongoing problems and negativity from my autistic son, life became overwhelming and while as a mother of four kids I would not commit suicide, I can perfectly understand how someone might feel that the grief and pain will never end and feel unable to keep dealing with it. Infidelity is a huge psychological trauma, the brain is programmed to make sense of data in terms of already existing assumptions and patterns (termed schemata) When these schemata are overturned, the brain must work full time to create new templates for us to make sense of things. Its a real, neurological and biological process that takes time. (So you can’t just ‘get over it!) I have found dealing with the new reality so difficult and dispiriting, While I, more passively wished I just wasn’t alive (rather than suicide) even now a year after D-Day 2 feel very overwhelmed and despondent and some days don’t know how I’ll keep going. I try to do something productive, inspiring or restorative every day but it’s a struggle and sometime I sink down into absolute despair. I am angry that society has a whitewashed view of the effects of infidelity. I have read some examples in the newspapers of suicide after infidelity and in the wake of the Ashley Madison dump we saw the suicides of the CS. I feel the whole Ashley Madison debacle was a missed opportunity to really highlight the emotional violence done to the victims of infidelity leading to anxiety, PTSD and depression as well as the physical harm through STDs and sometimes consequent cancer. I think its really important that articles like this one are published but I wish they were on a more mainstream forum where the public at large can contemplate the true cruel nature of infidelity.

Amen! I have experienced it all as well. Next week will be 2 yrs that my H told me he wanted to divorce me. I did not know about the OW. He led me to believe it was just his choice not to be married anymore.

I am happy in so many ways NOW.

But the trauma I suffered led to a few really bad thoughts in the first few months of DDay1. I had PTSD for some time, anxiety, stress, weight loss, trouble sleeping and eating.

Some days I wake up just sad. I have to pull myself out of it. It is the anger and resentment I was being thrown away for a 30 year old. Just like that. No remorse or regard at that time. Just his selfish choices.

Coupled with a series of other issues where people just treat you poorly and work issues and all, there are some days that are tough. But I presevere and work through it.

What makes it worse is how cheating is portrayed in the media and TV and movies. As my brother said it is like people have no morals anymore. He is right. People have children with 5 different men and think there is nothing wrong. No family values or morals.

Very well said. I couldn’t agree with you more. There’s so much in life we have to deal with, your autistic son, death of family, and just day to day living. And then throw infidelity into the mix, it is understandable that most of us just want to quit.

I loved your analysis of brain schemata. I need to do some more reading and research to understand this. Having your own narrative thrown to the gutter and invalidated by the lies and betrayal is at the least life changing and at worst breeds thoughts of ending it all. It seems so hopeless when one is in the throes of discovery. One part of the brain says it’s unbelievable and the other says, believe it. I’m four years out and have finally come to a place of acceptance and maybe even forgiveness, whatever that it. I had suicidal thoughts. I Googled how and what to overdose. I stopped there. I got a hold of myself and started believing I’ll be damned if his lousy choices and character were going to be given enough power to end my life. Eff him, eff all of them. That’s when I instituted New Rules (thanks Bill Maher) and I have lived by them ever since. That’s not to say I certainly haven’t considered running away 🙂 But that’s a whole other topic, right.

After going through the loss of two parents, nearly losing our business and a host of other extreme stresses, my husband became clinically depressed. His co-worker picked up on his increased vulnerability and admits she pursued him before he had any clue she had intentions other than their existing work friendship. He hid the extent of his depression from me. She had some depression issues of her own, coupled with a history of mental health issues she refused to ever discuss with him.

As I came to realize this was a clinical depression, and not just situational I begged him to get help. Counseling, medication etc. He refused. Unbeknownst to me, he was suicidal with plan and that whore was actively encouraging him NOT to get help. She convinced him they would “make him worse” and she was the only person who knew how to help him. I am certain she knew a professional would tell him to end the affair and make him see that was only compounding his problems. It makes my blood boil to think he might have actually killed himself because she was too selfish,arrogant and narcissistic. If I ever needed proof this relationship wasn’t real or didn’t involve “love”, this would be the proof.

I don’t condone what he did. I don’t excuse it. He doesn’t either. But I can see the relief he must have initially felt when a “friend” who claimed to understand what he was going through offered some help and advice. I can see the affair now as a sick means to soothe the symptom of depression. I think this was true for both of them. With counseling, he is better able to communicate to me how he is feeling when depression stirs in him. He has learned that as hard as it may be, that is the time to move towards me and open communication rather than moving away from me, and keeping to himself.

So the next time some twirp cheater babbles about how his/her “happiness” is worth it, slap them with this article. Is cheater fantasy land really worth all the damage? It seems so much easier just to say, let’s get a divorce, than have drama, damage, ptsd, broken hearts and ripped up security and stability for kids (oh yeah, don’t forget the kids sometimes act out and commit suicide because their cheater parent’s happiness is so much more important than anyone or anything else). Good job cheater.

One more devastating consequence of spoiled brat narcissists who insist on the world circling around their dysfunctional drama.

Unfortunately during the affair the spouse “believes” all the crap the AP feeds them. There is no breaking through that wall or barrier. You just have to hope they come out of it before the marriage is done. I do laugh at all the tears and drama after they are caught or found out. That part I had no sympathy for.

Niw my H is extremely remorseful and wished it never happened. Hard to explain going back for round 2 when you saw what round 1 did.

My children do not know. I shielded them 100%. Not their issue. Lucky we are still together.

I know my H now wishes he had not done this. His mid life crisis almost cost him everything. How sad. Never felt the need to come and talk to me. Nope would rather humiliate me, destroy me, shatter me, ruin us, for what? A much younger OW covered in tattoos with more drama than a soap opera. And the sad part – I was attracted to him for his honesty and integrity and being a stand up guy. Since this is not his first affair I have been deluded and lied to for 32 years.

I know I’m going out on a limb here, BUT regardless of how devastated I was and still am over my husband’s EA….and yes, I asked myself “is life worth living?”…..I am still responsible for my own happiness. We choose how we respond to adversity. Is infidelity an incredibly selfish act? ABSOLUTELY. It is my choice how I care for myself and how I respond to the nightmare of betrayal.

In a close town a women committed suicide after her husband asked for a divorce. Her husband asked her for a divorce and she then went missing. Then she was found. I prayed that she was ok and just needed to clear her head.I wanted to reach out to her and give her courage and strength. Let her know that she could make it. Our worlds come crashing down, ending so we think. We have so much strength to keep going and we need to keep going for our children. God bless her three girls.

The trauma of infidelity is easily the worst thing I’ve ever experienced and yes it’s definitely minimized in the media/ society. I wish I could say I was the victim but 2 years ago I was the unfaithful one. It’s only from being inside this experience that I realized how heinous and vile cheating really is and I feel idiotic for ever minimizing the act in my mind. My first real boyfriend and I moved in together after a year of dating, but started fighting and withdrawing a lot. Our sex life feel dwindled to nil and we would go out in different groups of friends every weekend, strengthening other relationships and neglecting our own. I ended up getting close to a coworker and feeling a strong attraction that made me convinced my relationship was missing a vital component…really I was just feeding a new connection with attention awe and intimacy and withdrawing from my partner. Anyways the sparks and new feelings of connection lasted maybe 2 months, and now I have dealt with 2 years (and I anticipate a lifetime) of anguish, depression, and suicidal thoughts over what I’ve done. I don’t want to be this person, I don’t want to be a cheater, but NOTHING I can do can change that I am. I don’t want to at all minimize the pain of those who have been betrayed but please know it is not true that all cheaters feel no remorse and just keep cheating throughout their lives. And there’s no way to escape it or move on from it because you know it was 100% your actions that brought you here. Everywhere you go, there you are.

My partner cheated for 7 months and I found all the pictures and comments and smiles in social media, IG. My partner knew I struggled a long time with mental health problems and still did this. Some people are selfish and reckless with others emotional vulnerability. I have been in touch with my community’s MH team but it’s not helping, nothing is. I already tried to hang myself but rope broke after I blacked out. I have plans to do it again. No, it’s not to hurt my cheating partner but I can’t bear the idea of ever being hurt like this again or trusting another single human being, EVER. Not in this lifetime anyway.

This is such crap. “Talking to someone” doesn’t erase the years of adoration for someone who has been cheating on you. If I call a suicide hotline, suddenly my beautiful wife never cheated? Doesn’t work that way. Instead I have to suck it up and take care of my kids knowing that the woman I adore doesn’t give a damn. It’s the right thing for them regardless of how much it kills me every day. They’re the only reason I’m still breathing and I sure as hell don’t need some stranger telling me things will get better. Nothing gets better. The pain just eats away until the end.

My husband cheated. Then died by suicide. A month ago next week. He never gave me the truth. Since his death i find more and more lies. Where he died he punished me by making sure i found him. So its not always the betrayed that kill themselves. Sometimes its the cheater. I was married to him 15 years. He punished me for his choices. I didnt even know. He was telling me i was a great wife. His 1 and only. I found out on my birthday. He killed himself almost 2 months later. Im not sure why he did kill himself. He never said. He told me he never realized the pain it has caused me. Not sure if guilt got him or that fact he couldnt lie anymore. The facts came to the surface and there was no more denying it. He never took responsibility.

I’ve been cheated on a grand total of 6 times, 3 by my 1st ex, and 3 by my 2nd. The first instance, it was because she decided to let her ex-boyfriend move in when it was just me and her. Me not being the wiser one and her taking advantage of my generosity, you can guess what their motives are. The ex stole my ex from underneath my nose under the same roof. 2nd and 3rd instances were when I was stationed in Okinawa while she was living here in Texas. I’ve never forgiven her for that.

2nd ex, Thanksgiving 2014. She was in tears when she phoned me while I was at the store looking for medicine to help me ease a fever I was under. 2nd time was just after my enlistment ended in 2016. 3rd time was in Thanksgiving week of that same year; this time emailing me a Dear John letter.

My 3rd ex didn’t cheat on me, but decided to abandon me after living with her for 2 months. Last I heard, she got engaged to the same guy she divorced just before she got with me. Other than those 3, it’s been nothing but rejections before, in between, and after those 3.

I find it hard to believe that a rationalization to cheat on a significant other would exist, and being cheated on many times, I can’t bring myself to accepting the idea that the cheating partner would even attempt to rationalize what they did.

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with an online mental health professor at an East Coast university. She is adamantly opposed to suicide and insists that every suicidal person can transform their life so that they can be happy. On her website, however, are thousands of comments from people who’ve been in the mental health system for years or even decades but who still suffer gravely. No matter what horror stores they share, this social worker professor either ignores them (or censors their comments outright as if this makes the pain go away) or responds in ways quite shocking for someone holding a PhD.

In one response to one of my own questions about suicide, the professor replied that her interventions are meant for people … whom the interventions can help–that is NOT for the many, many people like those commenting on her blog who suffer from things like chronic poverty, terribly painfully failed primary relationships (with adult children, parents, ex-spouses…), joblessness due to age discrimination and other prejudices, ongoing painful social isolation despite their best efforts to change this… This was one of the most illuminating comments coming from a professional mental health practitioner I’d ever heard or read as it helped me to understand the otherwise often paradoxical treatment the “mentally ill” often receive at the hands of mental health and medical teams.

Imagine if our care of cancer patients ignored or alienated those suffering from aggressive cancers. If, instead, our claims of success–of having the cure for cancer–rested on the success of interventions for less aggressive cancers known to have far higher patient survival rates. We’d all recognize this as an unacceptable selection bias distorting our assessment of the populational effectiveness of the given intervention. Thanks to the previously mentioned mental health professor’s assertion, I’ve been thinking more about how on the one hand our culture can place so much faith in the mental health system despite the copious patient horror stories and the stark fact that depression and suicide rates are increasing, not sharply decreasing.

Suicide is understandably an uncomfortable subject. But censoring people from talking about their feelings regarding suicide (when done respectfully and legally) only makes matters worse. In medical school, we learned that people’s experiences of their social lives affect their physiology–their biology, including their brains. And we’ve known for decades that abandonment and lack of sufficient (individually determined) healthy social interaction can very seriously impact health and survival even more than other public health threats like cigarette smoking and obesity. There is also ample data that males in particular suffer after a divorce or break-up–due, scholars find, in part to post-relationship disruptions in their support networks.

All of this, especially in light of psychiatry continuing to be unable to provide hard biomedical evidence that depression in general and suicide result from a particular neurological disease, argues that suicide is often a deeply pained response to a life that’s too hurtful for the individual to bear. What many suicidal people need is to be treated with compassion, dignity, and respect. To be listened to without judgment and platitudes. To be SHOWN, in ways devoid of threats, that they matter rather than being lectured to that effect. And to be nurtured safely so they feel support when they can’t hold themselves up. After traumas like a major infidelity or spousal abandonment or divorce, these can be very hard to come by for many. This blog’s author is correct that most recent research does NOT support the guess that most suicidal people were “mentally ill” when they committed suicide. The authors are also correct that suicidality is not itself a necessary indicator of mental illness but rather tremendous pain, often due to a person’s particular life circumstances like especially significant betrayal or abandonment.

im pretty sure my wife had affair for 5 1[2 years my wifes mother moved in with dementia we barely had sex or communicate with each other so I sleept in my office when her mom died I thought I heard buzzing sounds in her room did no what was going on but then I bought a spy cam here I left it on an when I checked it out in blurry film look like my wife naked second time our cheats were masde to people began to lay on bed cam stop no motion that’s when I started checking things were left in my closet that weren’t mind an couple shirts that look like my friends were there she ton cloths in closet said they were my daughters on more blurry make people in my office wife has big breast she was always naked then kept findind stuff one night went off wan ted to hurt her but couldn’t prove it kept calling me nuts took to docter for anxiety then the first night we had sex I thought she was a pro she did everything I beg her to do while married always had excuse well you wanted me to be this aggressive oral etc see I leave for work every day at 4 o clock my nfriend leaves hiss house same time some of the films on my clock in office say 545 am I out decoy in back door I got home it was moved im only one who uses it thinking about bad things but its not worth it the worse is the first encounter behind my back plus she is the last one to say no thank you

We live in Colorado. My wife went to a one week a year scrapbook retreat for ten years. She developed a close relationship with a lesbian who also attended. Several years ago the lesbian lost her partner. My wife was emailing, private messaging, and calling the woman, etc.

Once I came home and my wife was on the phone with the lesbian and when she hung up my wife said,” I love you.” To me this phrase has romantic meaning and is normally reserved for spouses, kids, and parents, not for friends.

During our fight after the phone call at me saying, you would be really mad if you knew I slept in the same bed as her. (apparently where traveling to the site a hotel stop involved sharing a bed). I think this comment was just to rub salt in my wound.

But I do not know. A lesbian loses her partner. A lesbian seeks a replacemnt among her friends. My wife maintains she has only hugged her, kissed her on cheek, and told her she loves her.

WHAT ? Only a really innocent naive person would think these actions did not have a deeper meaning. Maybe my wive is a repressed lesbian who would not come out to spare her birth family and not violate religious tenets.

We have been married 30+ years and I need to decide if I need to leave my wife.
I feel my wife is infatuated with this woman.. Once time she told me I had never met such a woman, strong, joking and having strong opinions. I have met women like this and the stereotype is mid 50’s, lesbian, kids out of home, divorced, feels screwed by the system, etc.

What really set me off when my wife told me this lesbian invited her to take a three weeks trip with her to New Mexico. This is pretty much the behavior groomers used to get access to their prey, small trips, etc. . The lesbian is attempting to break up my marriage.

When I explained this woman was a wedge in our marriage my wife eventually agreed to stop communicating with her. However, she frequently complains I made her break up with her friend.

There are laws that prevent (or at least try) people from hurting others physically and even verbally. But no government care for those of us who are mentally raped by this behavior and never become the same person again. For me it’s been 5 years of the mostly horrible mental pain you can imagine (yes, maybe some of us are weaker than the rest). Lost my company and my health (both physical and mental). Put my family and friends through some devastating pain as well. After tens of thousands of dollars spent in all kinds of therapy and medication and here I am, trying to find the courage to end this horrific pain. All I can say is that hopefully one day there will be a law that at least scares people a little into committing this horrific act (there is always an option of ending a relationship before cheating ) . I know that people like me who gets shattered by this are a very very small percentage of the population, but still some of us are worth saving.

The pain, the shock, the embarrassment, the humility, the shame, the fear of the future, all of these rock your soul and split every cell in your body. It was a body blow I will never forget. The shock of a blindsided act of infidelity was heart breaking enough but the trauma that followed was enough to drive anyone over the brink of sanity- his whore demanded money – extortion- demanded money or she would have his hands broken ( he is a surgeon) he paid her… yet for years she tormented our home with phone calls. We obtained a court ordered Criminal Protective Order restraining order which cost $30,000. The whore continues to torment us. She is a home wrecker. If prostitution were legal these extorting whores would be in jail.


Q:

My interest in 'x' CULTIVATED many years ago...?

Is there anything wrong with saying the following?
My interest in Japan cultivated many years ago after taking part in .....
I initially used the verb stemmed as I want to indicate that it began after taking part in '...', but I was told it did not make sense.

A:

I think you have to say "My interest in Japan was cultivated many [...]".
If you use only the word "cultivate", that would be the active version. For instance, you would say "I have cultivated my friends interest in politics" to express that YOU made him care about it.
You however want to express that your interest was cultivated and thereby grew bigger, not that your interest cultivated something.


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abstract: |
    We propose a one-dimensional model of a string decorated with adhesion molecules (stickers) to mimic multicomponent membranes in restricted geometries. The string is bounded by two parallel walls and it interacts with one of them by short range attractive forces while the stickers are attracted by the other wall. The exact solution of the model in the case of infinite wall separation predicts both continuous and discontinuous transitions between phases characterised by low and high concentration of stickers on the string. Our model exhibits also coexistence of these two phases, similarly to models of multicomponent membranes.\
    PACS numbers: 05.70.Fh, 05.70.Np, 87.16.Dg
author:
- |
    B. Różycki$^{1,2}$ and M. Napiórkowski$^{1}$\
    $^{1}$ Instytut Fizyki Teoretycznej, Uniwersytet Warszawski\
    00-681 Warszawa, Hoża 69, Poland\
    $^{2}$Max-Planck-Institut für Kolloid- und Grenzflächenforschung,\
    14424 Potsdam, Germany
title: Phase Transitions in Multicomponent String Model
---

The functional renormalization group calculations showed that the continuous unbinding transitions of fluid membranes are characterised by the same fixed points as those of one-dimensional strings governed by a finite tension [@RL88]. However, one-dimensional strings attracted to a flat substrate by finite-range forces exhibit only continuous unbinding transitions while two-dimensional fluid membranes can undergo also discontinuous unbinding transitions in this case [@RL94]. Moreover, recent computer simulations indicated that models for multicomponent membranes show complex phase diagrams which contain both continuous and discontinuous unbinding transitions [@TWRL01]. The aim of this letter is to present a model for two-component, one-dimensional string fluctuating between two parallel walls with which it interacts. This model is solved exactly in the case of infinite wall separation and exhibits phase transitions similar to multicomponent membranes.

Any membrane present in biological cells is composed of a lipid bilayer which provides its basic structure, and which contains different proteins [@biol]. The proteins anchored in the lipid bilayer are large molecules which can usually freely diffuse within the fluid membrane. These macromolecules protrude from the bilayer and may interact with another membrane, or a substrate, by a short-range forces and, thus, act as local stickers or repellers. To investigate the influence of this interaction on membrane adhesion phenomenon various models for membranes with stickers in contact with a planar substrate were used recently [@TWRL01; @TW02; @4]. In these models a membrane with zero spontaneous curvature is usually considered and adhesion molecules of only one sort are taken into account. The state of the membrane is specified then by two fields: the local separation between the membrane and the substrate and the local concentration of the stickers. As already mentioned, both continuous and discontinuous membrane unbinding transitions were found for such models, and separation into the unbound phase with low average concentration of stickers and the bound phase with higher average sticker concentration was observed.

In this letter we consider a model of a string containing specific adhesion molecules (stickers). The string with attached stickers fluctuates in a two-dimensional space between two parallel, one-dimensional walls (slit geometry). The walls are separated by distance $L$. In the present lattice model (see Fig. \[lattice\]) the string separation from the bottom wall is described by the set of discrete variables $l_{i}$, where the lattice site number $i=1, \ldots
,N$ measures the distance along the one-dimensional walls. Each of the $N$ variables $l_{i}$ can take $L+1$ values: $l_{i}=0, \ldots ,L$. The stickers’ degrees of freedom are specified by the set of occupation numbers $n_{i}$ and each of these variables can be either $0$ or $1$. The value $n_{i}=1$ indicates the presence of a sticker on the string above the i-th lattice site while the value $n_{i}=0$ indicates that there is no sticker at that position.

![One-dimensional lattice model for a string with stickers. Position of the string at site number $i$ is denoted by $l_{i}$, and $n_{j}=1$ (or 0) indicates presence (or absence) of a sticker at the $j$-th site. []{data-label="lattice"}](fig0.eps)

In the present model we assume that the string itself interacts with the upper wall via a pinning potential while the stickers attached to the string interact only with the bottom wall by another pinning potential. The corresponding Hamiltonian takes the following form $$H= \sum_{i=1}^{N} \left[ J|l_{i+1}-l_{i}|
-n_{i} W_{1} \delta_{l_{i},0} - W_{2} \delta_{l_{i},L} \right] \quad.
\label{1}$$ The first term describes the bending energy of the string, and $J$ is the stiffness parameter. The second and the third terms correspond to the interaction of the stickers with the bottom wall and the interaction of the string with the upper wall, respectively; we assume that $W_{1}>W_{2}>0$.

The grand partition function $$Z(T, \mu, N)= \sum_{\left\{ n_{i} \right\}} \sum_{\left\{ l_{i} \right\}}
\exp \left[- \beta \left( H - \mu \sum_{i=1}^{N} n_{i} \right) \right]
\quad,$$ where $\beta = \frac{1}{k_{B}T}$ and $\mu$ denotes the chemical potential of the stickers, will be evaluated for periodic boundary conditions along the walls. To this aim we first sum out the stickers degrees of freedom $\left\{ n_{i} \right\}$, and then - using transfer matrix method - trace out all possible string configurations $\left\{
l_{i} \right\}$. We additionally assume that the string does not fluctuate too violently, and so its positions at the neighbouring sites differ at most by one, i.e., $|l_{i+1}-l_{i}|=0,1$. In this way we arrive at the modification of the restricted solid-on-solid model [@RSOS]. This leads to the following exact result $$Z(T, \mu, N) = \left( 1+ e^{\beta \mu} \right)^{N}
\sum_{i=0}^{L} (\lambda_{i})^{N}
\quad,
\label{2}$$ where the quantities $\lambda_{0} \ge \lambda_{1} \ge \ldots \ge
\lambda_{L}$ are the eigenvalues of the corresponding transfer matrix. It is given explicitly by the following expression $$\mathbb{T}_{m,n}=
\left( \delta_{m,n}+ j \delta_{|m-n|,1} \right)
\sqrt{
w_{1}^{\delta_{m,0} + \delta_{n,0}}
w_{2}^{\delta_{m,L} + \delta_{n,L}}
} ,
\label{3}$$ where $$j=e^{-\beta J},
\quad
w_{1}=\frac{1+e^{\beta(W_{1}+\mu)}}{1+e^{\beta \mu}},
\quad
w_{2}=e^{\beta W_{2}}
\quad,
\label{4}$$ and $\delta_{i,j}$ is Kronecker delta. A transfer matrix of similar structure was discussed in [@BRMN] in the context of the wetting phenomena in the slit geometry.

In the thermodynamic limit $N \to \infty$ the free-energy density $$f = - k_{B}T \log  [ \lambda_{0} (1+e^{\beta \mu}) ]
\quad,
\label{7a}$$ and the parallel correlation length of the string $$\xi_{||} = \left[ \log \left(
\frac{\lambda_{0}}{\lambda_{1}}
\right) \right]^{-1}
\quad,
\label{7b}$$ are determined by the two largest eigenvalues of the transfer matrix. The average sticker concentration $n$ can be obtained as the derivative of the free-energy density $f$ with respect to the chemical potential $\mu$, $$n = - \frac{\partial f}{\partial \mu}
\quad.
\label{8}$$

The unbinding transition, by definition, occurs when the average separation of a membrane from a substrate becomes infinite. The discussion of this phenomenon within the present model is only possible if the distance between the walls is made infinite, $L =
\infty$. In this limiting case the spectrum of the transfer matrix $\mathbb{T}$ consists of infinite number of eigenvalues homogeneously distributed in the segment $]1-2j, 1+2j[$, and - in addition - of at most two eigenvalues which can be larger than $1+2j$. We arrive at this result using the same methods as discussed in detail in [@BRMN]. The two largest eigenvalues of the transfer matrix are expressed in terms of two auxiliary parameters $\sigma_{1}$ and $\sigma_{2}$ $$\lambda_{0}= \max \left[ \sigma_{1}, \sigma_{2} \right]
\quad, \quad \lambda_{1}= \min \left[ \sigma_{1}, \sigma_{2} \right]
\label{9}$$ where $$\sigma_{k}= \left\{
\begin{array}{lll}
\frac{w_{k}}{2} \left[ 1+ \sqrt{1+ \frac{4j^{2}}{w_{k}-1}} \right]
& \rm{for} & w_{k} \ge \frac{1+2j}{1+j} \\
1+2j & \rm{for} & w_{k} < \frac{1+2j}{1+j}
\end{array}
\right.
\quad,
\label{10}$$ for $k=1,2$. The parameters $\sigma_{k}$ have continuous first derivatives with respect to $w_{k}$, and for $w_{k} \ge \frac{1+2j}{1+j}$ one has $\sigma_{k} \ge 1+2j$, and $\frac{\partial \sigma_{k}}{\partial w_{k}} \ge 0$.

The unbinding phase transition is indicated by divergence of the parallel correlation length (\[7b\]), when the two largest eigenvalues of the transfer matrix become equal, $\lambda_{0}=
\lambda_{1}$. Upon changing the model parameters the two largest eigenvalues $\lambda_{0}$ and $\lambda_{1}$ may both become equal either (i) to the value $1+2j$, which leads to the continuous unbinding transitions, or (ii) to the value located inside the segment $]1+2j,+\infty[$, and then the string unbinds discontinuously from one of the walls and becomes pinned to the other one; these scenarios were discussed in [@BRMN]. Thus the discontinuous unbinding transitions caused by energetic competition between the infinitely separated walls occur when $w_{1}=w_{2}>\frac{1+2j}{1+j}$, while the continuous de-pinning transitions driven by the string thermal fluctuations take place when $w_{1}=\frac{1+2j}{1+j}>w_{2}$ or $w_{2}=\frac{1+2j}{1+j}>w_{1}$, see Eq. (\[10\]). A straightforward analysis of the above inequalities – based on definitions (\[4\]) – leads to the conclusion that unbinding of the string from the bottom wall is either the discontinuous transition, which occurs when $\mu = \mu_{I}(T)$ and $\mu_{I}(T)>\mu_{II}(T)$, or the continuous transition, which takes place when $\mu=\mu_{II}(T)$ and $\mu_{I}(T)<\mu_{II}(T)$, where $$\mu_{I}(T)= - \frac{1}{\beta} \log
\frac{e^{\beta W_{1}} - e^{\beta W_{2}}}{e^{\beta W_{2}} - 1}
\quad,
\label{11}$$ and $$\mu_{II}(T)= - \frac{1}{\beta} \log \left[
\left( e^{\beta J}+1 \right) \left( e^{\beta W_{1}}-1 \right) -1
\right]
\quad.
\label{12}$$ The tricritical point is determined by equation $\mu_{I}(T)=\mu_{II}(T)$ and the corresponding temperature will be denoted as $T_{2}$.

![Phase diagram in coordinates $T$ - $\mu$ plotted for fixed values of model parameters: $W_{1}=2J$, $W_{2}=\frac{4}{3}J$. The chemical potential $\mu$ is given in energy units of the stiffness parameter $J$ and the temperature $T$ is given in units of $J/k_{B}$. Unbinding of the string form the bottom wall is discontinuous for low temperatures ($T<T_{2}$) and continuous for high temperatures ($T_{2}<T<T_{1}$). []{data-label="T-mu"}](fig1.eps)

The corresponding phase diagram plotted in the variables $T$ and $\mu$ (for fixed values of model parameters $J$, $W_{1}$, and $W_{2}$) which contains the relevant parts of curves $\mu=\mu_{I}(T)$ and $\mu=\mu_{II}(T)$ is displayed in Fig. \[T-mu\]. The area above the curve corresponds to the states for which the string is bound to the bottom wall. The area under the curve corresponds to the states for which the average distance between the string and the bottom wall is infinite. For temperatures $T<T_{2}$ the curve represents the locus of discontinuous phase transition while for $T>T_{2}$ it represents the continuous transitions. The continuous transition line has the vertical asymptote $T=T_{1}$, which is determined by condition $\mu_{II}= \infty$.

To construct the phase diagram in coordinates $T$ - $n$ we have to make use of Eq. (\[8\]) which together with Eqs (\[7a\]) and (\[3\]) leads to the following relation $$n = \frac{1}{1+e^{- \beta \mu}} +
\frac{e^{-\beta \mu}(e^{\beta W_{1}}-1)}{(1+e^{-\beta \mu})^2}
\frac{1}{\lambda_{0}}
\frac{\partial \lambda_{0}}{\partial w_{1}}
\quad.
\label{13}$$ The derivative $\frac{\partial \lambda_{0}}{\partial w_{1}}$ is not equal to zero only if $\lambda_{0}= \sigma_{1} >1+2j$, i.e., when the string is bound to the bottom wall. In all other cases $\frac{\partial
  \lambda_{0}}{\partial w_{1}} = 0$ and then the average sticker concentration is equal $(1+e^{-\beta \mu})^{-1}$. It means that the configurations when the string is bound on the bottom wall correspond to the phase with high concentration of stickers, while configurations where the average distance of the string from the bottom wall is infinite correspond to the phase with low sticker concentration.

The continuous unbinding transitions line $\mu_{II}(T)$ is determined by equations $w_{1}=\frac{1+2j}{1+j}$ and $\lambda_{0}= \sigma_{1}$. When this conditions are fulfilled then it follows from Eq. (\[10\]) that $\frac{\partial \lambda_{0}}{\partial w_{1}}=0$. Thus, upon crossing the continuous transitions line $\mu_{II}(T)$ the average sticker concentration changes continuously.

On the other hand, the discontinuous unbinding transitions take place when $w_{1}> \frac{1+2j}{1+j}$. In this case $\frac{ \partial
  \lambda_{0}}{\partial w_{1}} > 0$ for $\lambda_{0}= \sigma_{1}$, and $\frac{ \partial \lambda_{0}}{\partial w_{1}} = 0$ for $\lambda_{0} =
\sigma_{2}$, which means that upon crossing the discontinuous unbinding transitions line, $\mu_{I}(T)$, the average stickers concentration changes discontinuously.

The above predictions can be made more explicit by evaluating the derivative $\frac{\partial \lambda_{0}}{\partial w_{1}}$ along both transitions lines. In this way one finds the stickers concentration (\[13\]) on both sides of curves $\mu_{I}(T)$ and $\mu_{II}(T)$. A straightforward calculation leads to the conclusion, that along the continuous transitions line, on both sides of the curve $\mu_{II}(T)$, the average stickers concentration is given by the following expression $$n_{II}(T)= \frac{1}{(e^{\beta J}+1)(e^{\beta W_{1}}-1)}
\quad.$$ On the other hand, the average stickers concentration along the discontinuous transitions line, $\mu_{I}(T)$, on the side of the phase poor in stickers, is equal $$n_{I}^{-}(T)= \frac{e^{\beta W_{2}}-1}{e^{\beta W_{1}}-1}
\quad,$$ and on the side of the phase rich in stickers it is equal $$n_{I}^{+}(T)= n_{I}^{-}(T) + \Delta n(T)
\quad,$$ where the jump of stickers concentration, $\Delta n$, is given by formula $$\Delta n (T)=
\frac{e^{\beta W_{1}}-e^{\beta W_{2}}}{2(e^{\beta W_{1}}-1)}
\left[1-2e^{- \beta W_{2}} + \left(
1+ \frac{4e^{-2 \beta J}}{e^{\beta W_{2}}-1} \right)^{- \frac{1}{2}} \right]
\ge 0 \quad.$$

One can check that $\Delta n (T_{2})=0$, and show that the derivative $\left( \frac{\partial}{\partial T} \Delta n \right)_{T=T_{2}}$ is always negative. It means that while approaching the tricritical point the jump of the sticker concentration vanishes linearly with temperature, $\Delta n \sim T_{2}-T$.

![The phase diagram in coordinates $T$ - $n$ for fixed values of model parameters: $W_{1}=2J$ and $W_{2}=\frac{4}{3}J$. The temperature $T$ is given in units of $J/k_{B}$. The lines $n_{II}(T)$, $n_{I}^{-}(T)$, and $n_{I}^{+}(T)$ separate the sticker-rich phase, the sticker-poor phase, and the coexistence region of these two phases.[]{data-label="T-n"}](fig2.eps)

An example of phase diagram, which contains the relevant parts of curves $n_{I}^{-}(T)$, $n_{I}^{+}(T)$, and $n_{II}(T)$, is shown in figure \[T-n\]. The curve $n_{II}(T)$ separates the regimes which correspond to phases rich and poor in stickers. The area limited by curves $n_{I}^{-}(T)$, $n_{I}^{+}(T)$ and the $n$ axis is the coexistence region of these two phases.

In summary, by analogy with some models for multicomponent membranes, we consider a one-dimensional model of a string with stickers attached to it. The string is confined between two parallel walls of different properties: the bottom wall interacts only with the stickers, and the upper wall only with the string itself. In the case when the distance between the walls is infinite, the string unbinding transitions take place for certain values of temperature and the sticker chemical potential. At low temperatures ($T<T_{2}$) the transitions are discontinuous while for higher temperatures ($T_{2}>T>T_{1}$) they are continuous. We show that the configurations for which the string is bound to the bottom wall correspond to the phase with high concentration of stickers while configurations where the average separation between this wall and the string is infinite correspond to the phase with low sticker concentration. We find both discontinuous and continuous transitions between phases rich and poor in stickers. The phase diagram on Fig. \[T-n\] indicates regimes corresponding to these two phases as well as the two-phase coexistence region and the continuous transitions line. In this respect it resembles phase diagrams for some models of multicomponent membranes [@TWRL01].

**Acknowledgements.**

One of us (B.R.) would like to thank Reinhard Lipowsky for hospitality and stimulating interactions and Thomas Weikl for helpful discussions. This work was partially supported by the Committee for Scientific Research grant 2PO3B 008 23.

[99]{} R. Lipowsky *Europhys. Lett.* **7** 255 (1988)

R. Lipowsky *J. Phys. II France* **4** 1755 (1994)

T. Weikl and R. Lipowsky *Phys. Rev.* E **64** 011903 (2001)

B. Alberts, D. Bray, J. Lewis, R. Raff, K. Roberts and J.D. Watson *Molecular Biology of the Cell* (Garland, New York, 1983)

T. Weikl *Phys. Rev.* E **66** 061915 (2002)

T. Weikl, D. Andelman, S. Komura and R. Lipowsky *Eur. Phys. J.* E **8** 59 (2002)

P. S. Swain and A. O. Parry *J. Phys. A: Math. Gen.* **30** 4597 (1997)

B. Różycki and M. Napiórkowski *J. Phys. A: Math. Gen.* **36** 4551 (2003)


The present invention relates to a construction of a lever switch for electric circuits.
There have been proposed various lever switches which typically have a driving lever rotatably secured to a switch frame and adapted to drive a slider housed in the frame so as to bring a movable contact selectively into contact with fixed contacts, thereby to switch electric circuits. Examples of such lever switches are shown in Japanese laid-open Patent applications Nos. 84080/76 and 130879/76, and Japanese laid-open Utility Model application No. 86570/76.
However, as will be mentioned later, these conventional switches are all difficult and require too much time to assemble.
It is therefore an object of the present invention to provide an improved lever switch for electric circuits, of the kind described, which can be assembled easily in a shorter time.


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8 Ways to Naturally Ease Allergy Symptoms

April showers may bring May flowers, but for a lot of people, they also bring seasonal allergies. With those beautiful spring flowers comes pollen, and it’s everywhere. The familiar yellowy/green film that coats everything outside, and drifts into your home when windows are open. For most people these spring allergens and the accompanying symptoms are, of course, a nuisance, but for singers they can be downright debilitating. Allergy symptoms may include nasal and/or upper respiratory congestion, excess mucus, coughing, sneezing and the like. All of which can, to greater or lesser degree affect your singing.

Many people who suffer from seasonal allergies turn to over the counter and/or prescription medications for relief. While these medications do offer relief from the symptoms, singers often find the dehydrating side effects of the antihistamines that they contain to be as bad as, or sometimes worse for the voice than the allergies themselves! So what’s a singer to do?

Fortunately there are a number of natural, non-medicinal ways to help combat your allergies. While I’m not a medical professional and can’t promise that these suggestions will fully handle your particular allergy symptoms, I do know many singers who have found them to be helpful. As with everything relating to your health, be sure to consult a trained health professional if your symptoms worsen and to layout a plan to address your personal health needs.

1. Drink plenty of water. In addition to being important for overall physical and vocal well-being, staying hydrated has been shown to reduce seasonal allergy symptoms. The general thinking on this is 1 ounce of water for every 2 pounds of body weight.

2. Use a neti pot or saline rinse to rinse pollen and other irritants out of your sinuses. Studies have shown that nasal cleansing (when done properly) is a gentle and effective way to reduce allergy symptoms. When using a neti pot, I recommend first boiling the water to remove impurities – be sure to let it cool before using and follow the manufacturers directions closely.

3. Try steaming. Steam treatments are my favorite! Steaming puts direct moisture on your vocal folds (commonly known as vocal cords), can thin and loosen congestion, rinse away irritants and generally soothe an irritated voice. To do this, pour very hot water into a bowl, drape a towel over your head (making a tent) and breathe the steam for several minutes. Be sure to wait 30 minutes after the treatment before making any vocal sound.

4. Maintain a healthy diet containing lots of raw fruits and vegetables and minimally processed foods. While a healthy diet may not have been scientifically proven to handle seasonal allergies, many people report a significant reduction in their symptoms after making these nutritional changes. Besides, there really are no negative side effects to eating better!

5. Limit your time outdoors when the pollen count is especially high. A drag I know, but helpful. Rinse pollen off your skin and hair after being outside.

6. Try an air-purifier with a HEPA filter and dust regularly (wear a mask when dusting) to keep the pollen out of your home. Also, avoid using window fans to cool rooms as these fans can pull pollen indoors.

7. Eat local raw honey. Again, while there isn’t a lot of science behind this one, many people report a noticeable reduction in their allergy symptoms when they regularly consume a teaspoon of local raw honey each day.

8. Talk with a Naturopathic or Homeopathic physician. There are many supplements and natural medicines available that have been shown to help with seasonal allergies. Talk with a physician to see if any of them may work for you.


---
layout: page
title: Migrating to v3.0 - Sinon.JS
breadcrumb: migrating to 3.0
---

As with all `MAJOR` releases in [`semver`](http://semver.org/), there are breaking changes in `sinon@3`.
This guide will walk you through those changes.

## `sinon.stub(object, "method", func)` - Removed
Please use `sinon.stub(obj, "method").callsFake(func)` instead.

```js
var stub = sinon.stub(obj, "stubbedMethod").callsFake(function () {
    return 42;
});
```

A [codemod is available](https://github.com/hurrymaplelad/sinon-codemod) to upgrade your code

## `sinon.stub(object, property, value)` - Removed
Calling `sinon.stub` with three arguments will throw an Error. This was deprecated with `sinon@2` and has been removed with `sinon@3`

## `sinon.useFakeTimers([now, ]prop1, prop2, ...)` - Removed
`sinon.useFakeTimers()` signature has [changed](../fake-timers). To define which methods to fake, please use `config.toFake`. Other options are now available when configuring `useFakeTimers`. Please consult the [documentation](../fake-timers) for more information.

## `sinon.sandbox.create(config)` - Config changes
The [changes in configuration](../fake-timers) for fake timers implicitly affect sandbox creation. If your config used to look like `{ useFaketimers: ["setTimeout", "setInterval"]}`, you
will now need to change it to `{ useFaketimers: { toFake: ["setTimeout", "setInterval"] }}`.

## Removal of internal helpers
The following internal functions were deprecated as of `sinon@1.x` and have been removed in `sinon@3`:

* `sinon.calledInOrder`
* `sinon.create`
* `sinon.deepEqual`
* `sinon.format`
* `sinon.functionName`
* `sinon.functionToString`
* `sinon.getConfig`
* `sinon.getPropertyDescriptor`
* `sinon.objectKeys`
* `sinon.orderByFirstCall`
* `sinon.restore`
* `sinon.timesInWorlds`
* `sinon.valueToString`
* `sinon.walk`
* `sinon.wrapMethod`
* `sinon.Event`
* `sinon.CustomEvent`
* `sinon.EventTarget`
* `sinon.ProgressEvent`
* `sinon.typeOf`
* `sinon.extend`


Funeral services for Harlard Donald Galloway, 73, of Clarkesville, were held at 2 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 25, at Shirley Grove Baptist Church with the Rev. Dennis Ledford and the Rev. Bill Gravely officiating. Burial followed in the church cemetery.

Mr. Galloway died Tuesday, Oct. 23, 2012.

Born May 1, 1939, in Habersham County, he was the son of the late Harlard and Ola Shirley Galloway. In addition to his parents, he was preceded in death by his brother, Nevitt Galloway, and his sister, Shirley Jean Jamison.

He owned and operated a nursery and green houses. Mr. Galloway was a United States Army veteran and was a member of Shirley Grove Baptist Church, where he served as pianist.

Survivors include his wife, Lois “Pat” Harrison Galloway of Clarkesville; daughter and son-in-law, Terenpa and Dwain Cleveland of Jaspera; son and daughter-in-law, Keith and Betty Galloway of Oxford, N.C.; sister, Kathleen Loudermilk of Villa Rica; and granddaughter, Kelly Cleveland of Alpharetta.


Best free sex cams for ps3

Read More » Vampyr is an upcoming action role-playing video game developed by Dontnod Entertainment and published by Focus Home Interactive.It will be available for Microsoft Windows, Play Station 4 and Xbox One in Q4 2017. Read More » The development began with a team of 60 people – later expanded to around 80 –[26] many of whom worked on Dontnod Entertainment’s previous project Life Is Strange.[6] For a short time, the developer considered to set the game in…World to the West is an action puzzler developed by Rain Games that continues exploring the universe of Teslagrad, already started by over 1.6 million people.

Read More » Vampyr is an action role-playing game played from a third-person view.[3] The player controls the game’s protagonist Jonathan E.

Reid,[4] a vampire doctor whose thirst for blood compels him to kill innocent people. Read More » Vampyr is an upcoming action role-playing video game developed by Dontnod Entertainment and published by Focus Home Interactive.

It will be available for Microsoft Windows, Play Station 4 and Xbox One in Q4 2017. Read More » Ultra Street Fighter II: The Final Challengers is being developed by Japanese video game company Capcom.[1] The development team is composed of a mixture of old and young employees, some of which worked on recent Capcom fighting games like Street…

It’s a new game from French indie studio Any Arts Production and is based on the Nico Augusto novel of the same name. Read More » They also hinted at a price so low for an AAA production that gamers won’t believe it.

Raiders of the Broken Planet will use a Seasons model, and each Season will have four or five specific missions, characters and storylines….

EDITOR'S NOTE: As is hopefully obvious from the title, this article contains some words about sexytimes, though nothing explicit. Everyone’s always going on about how oh, we’re all thirty years old now, all grown up, and we’re making games about fatherhood like in Papo & Yo and The Walking Dead and all that jazz, and you can honestly murder anything in games these days, like you can make the witches in Left 4 Dead into Whitney Houston, have her sing to you, and then gun her down. In an attempt to sex up the interactive neonhighway like a British secret dossier, I put on a large trenchcoat and a mask and looked dashing as I rummaged through the internet’s intimates in search of the best, most interesting free games about doin’ it. Like Pietro Righi Riva, who is making a game called Awkward Sex about how hard (hah!


It's almost impossible to find anything worrisome about Google's 2006 results. Profits were stellar, international expansion shows promise because monetization rates can improve dramatically and Google Checkout and YouTube are making progress. Pick a number and it was impressive.

There is one challenge Google faces though--scaling up its infrastructure and people to take advantage of all the opportunities ahead while maintaining its culture. Can a company realistically grow this quickly without a few missteps?

The company's secret sauce thus far has been managing its growth and investing heavily while maintaining its culture. While search algorithms and new products get the headlines, the business processes--human resources, financial systems and the ranking of projects--underpinning Google's growth is the real asset.

Nevertheless, these processes will be put to the test. Listening to the Google earnings call, you get the impression that the company is busting at the seams and running as fast as it can.

To wit:

Google had $1.9 billion in capital expenditures, most of it due to increased IT spending on data centers and the like.

The company is hiring people by the thousands. And Google's human resources team now has to scour the globe for international talent.

Google has a lot on its plate--search can be improved, executives talked up mobile technology and YouTube needs to make money.

CEO Eric Schmidt noted that "big priority for the company over the next while is the issue of growing the company."

Specifically, Google has to find an organizational structure that'll scale as it adds thousands of employees. At some point, Google could find itself downright bloated."The long-term organizational structure, the human resource that we have managed to build, has tremendous potential, needs management focus, needs growth and training and so forth, and all of that is in place," said Schmidt, who added that Google is taking its U.S. practices and exporting them to new markets.

Meanwhile, Google is investing heavily in its business.

CFO George Reyes noted:

"Capital expenditures for the quarter totaled $367 million, bringing total capital expenditures for 2006 to $1.9 billion. The majority of our CapEx is related to IT infrastructure investments, including data centers, servers and networking equipment. Our leadership in search and ads is a direct result of our relentless focus on building the most robust platforms for our users. As we scale, our business increasingly requires substantial computational power. In 2007, we expect to make significant capital expenditure investments. It is important to point out that the strategy of aggressively investing in our infrastructure has paid off handsomely and remains critical to our success, and we intend to follow this strategy for the foreseeable future."

Simply put, Google's biggest challenge isn't competition, new search algorithms or even building its technology infrastructure. The challenge for Google is growing the company at a rapid clip while maintaining its startup vibe and culture. When Google history is revisited, the company's structure and processes to manage growth may be its biggest accomplishment.

Sergey Brin summed it up:

"What is not apparent from the outside is the set of rigorous systems and processes that we use to manage our growth while maintaining this entrepreneurial zeal."

Those processes are Google's secret sauce. And they better work. Managing growth poorly may be the only thing that could trip up Google.

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Energy-Wise Window Treatments

Thought those blinds, shades and curtains were just a way to get some privacy? Maybe just another way to decorate? That's not the only reason anymore. Blinds are also, and most importantly, a way to save energy and money.

Window blinds are effective at controlling passive solar heating and reducing energy loss from your home or office. Think about this. In the winter you put a thicker shirt on to keep you warm. In the summer you wear a thinner shirt, but it protects your skin from the sun’s harmful rays. Well, your home needs the same kind of protection.

Window shades are like a sweater for your house or office; they create a layer of insulation on the glass. This will either keep heat inside in the winter, or prevent heat from entering during the summer. This reduces the amount of heating or cooling required -- thus decreasing the amount of energy you consume!

Best-practices for how you should operate your blinds vary by the season. In the winter, close your blinds at night; open them on south-facing windows during the day. In the summer, close your blinds during the day. For maximum energy savings, choose insulated models, such as honeycomb shades. Blinds with a white surface (facing out) are most effective at reflecting outside heat to keep your rooms cool in the summer.


Decks & Fences Cut Up

The deck of your home should be a source of pride where you and your loved ones can gather to enjoy the outdoors and make the memories and traditions that you’ll treasure forever. Eventually though, no matter how well-built or well maintained, every deck needs to be removed so you can build a new deck or patio. In some cases, you may move to a new home with a poorly maintained deck that needs to be scrapped and hauled away so you can install a new deck and keep it in good repair.

Getting rid of an old deck or fence is a major undertaking, however: you have to pull up all the boards, demolish the structure and extract any posts sunk into concrete when the deck was built. Breaking apart a deck is hard work and time-consuming, too. You can’t just leave a sagging deck falling apart on your property though, as it decreases your property value. There is also the problem of what to do with debris and waste from the old deck, too. Most residential trash pickup services won’t take your deck scraps on trash day. You’re going to need to haul everything to the dump.

Fences are another important part of maintaining the appearance of your property. Not only do they make good neighbors, but they also provide privacy and security for you and your loved ones all year long. The fencing around your yard is what makes your home your castle. When it is well maintained, it provides privacy and security for your family events. Within the boundaries of your fence line, your home becomes your sanctuary. An old fence falling apart or in a general state of disrepair is little more than an eyesore in dire need of replacement.

When enough fencing starts to deteriorate, it needs to be demolished and a fresh fence put up in its place. Like taking apart a deck, this is a labor-intensive project that requires you to find a way to dispose of your scrapped fence waste, too. Don’t stress about how you’re going to get everything cleaned up. Call the deck and fence removal specialists at Junk Guruz instead.

We are a Dallas/Fort Worth local junk removal service that has the tools and know-how to clean up any mess no matter how large or small. When you call Junk Guruz, we’ll come out to your home to give you a free estimate for cutting up your deck or fence for you. That’s right, you don’t even have to do the demolition work yourself. We’ll bring tools and cut up your deck or fencing before loading it onto one of our trucks to haul it away. Whatever materials can be recycled will be recycled, and the rest we dispose of responsibly.

Better still, once your new deck or fence is built we can pick up any of the construction waste left from the project, too. Don’t leave your eyesore of an old deck or fence up on your property. Contact Junk Guruz today and let us cut up your old deck or fence for you and remove it for you.

Junk Guru

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“These guys know their stuff! They aren’t two college boys with a pickup, they’re equipped and efficient. One minute I had junk. The next minute I was waving bye bye to it. Three thumbs up!!”

JULIE CASTRO

“team was prompt, professional, courteous and reasonable. They hauled junk out of storage unit and garage and helped me rearrange what I wanted to keep. Could not have been more pleased.”

JOHN BARLOW

“Atilla with Junk Guru did an exceptional job helping our orginazation clean out our warehouse! I highly recommend their services!”