def banter():
        def username():
            import os
            return os.environ.get("USERNAME", os.environ.get("USER", os.path.split(os.path.expanduser(u"~"))[-1]))
        import random
        l = [
            u"Do thou mockest me?",
            u"Try again?",
            u"I'm sorry {0}, I'm afraid I can't do that.".format(username()),
            u'The greatest trick this module ever pulled what convincing the users it did not exist.',
            u"It's just a typo."
        ]
        random.shuffle(l)
        return l[0]