Pretentious Nonsense
It's no revelation that director M. Night Shyamalan knows how to make suspenseful, often creepy movies.  Bursting on the scene in 1999 with the commercial and critical hit, "The Sixth Sense," he parlayed that success into follow-up films "Unbreakable," "Signs," and "The Village."  None, however, lived up to "The Sixth Sense."  Shyamalan's trademark is the Big Secret -- some well-kept plot point that is supposed to blow the audience away.  Though these later films have their share of eeriness, palpable atmosphere, and first-rate performances, they never set the screen on fire.<br /><br /> Now Shyamalan is back with "Lady in the Water," based on a tale he made up for his daughters as a bedtime story.  There are strange doings in and around the pool of an apartment complex called The Cove.  Late one night, apartment superintendent Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) sees a young woman emerge from the pool.  She reveals that she is a water nymph named Story (Bryce Dallas Howard) and has come from the Blue World beneath the swimming pool.  Story's unique powers of perception predict the fates of Cleveland's tenants, whose destinies are tied directly to her own. They must work together to decipher a series of codes that will unlock a pathway to her freedom.<br /><br /> Getting Story home is not easy.  The feat involves following the blow-by-blow plot points of an ancient myth, provided by an elderly Korean woman as interpreted by her daughter (Cindy Cheung).<br /><br /> The tenants are an odd collection of colorful, quirky characters.  Shyamalan himself plays author Vick Ran in a role much bigger than the director's cameo appearances in his earlier films.  He's not a bad actor and does a credible job, but his  considerable screen time eventually becomes distracting.  Alfred Hitchcock, whose trademark was popping up in his movies, had the sense to make a brief appearance early on and then disappear, allowing his actors to unfold the story.<br /><br /> But the primary problem with "Lady in the Water" is Shyamalan's screenplay, which never stops providing new nomenclature and new information even three-quarters of the way through.  There are narfs, scrunts, tartutic, and the great eatlon to keep track of as well as volumes of mythological lore.  Keeping track of all this mythology-in-the-making, revealed piecemeal, becomes tedious early on.  Seeing how intent and stone-cold serious everyone at The Cove is about getting Story back home, one wonders why there are no skeptics among the tenants.<br /><br />  "Lady in the Water" is derivative of so many other, better films, it would take forever to list them all.  Let's just say that "E.T.," "The Wizard of Oz," "Batteries Not Included," "Splash" and even "X-Men: The Last Stand" come to mind immediately.  Shyamalan tries to be original, but becomes bogged down in these iconic references, his own complex mythology, and a desperation to have the audience "get it".<br /><br /> "Lady in the Water" is ultimately a very silly movie.  For a director who prides himself on the Big Secret, Shyamalan has turned out a surprise-free clunker this time around.  For a fantasy, there is no sense of wonderment, no childlike awe, no magic.  It's an ambitious but badly flawed movie.<br /><br /> There's a sad waste of talent.  Giamatti is excellent as usual, but even he comes to look dopey as he gets involved in a convoluted scheme to get Story back to where she belongs.  Howard has little to do but look ethereal and shiver a bit, and she does both well, but she never conveys the magical nature of her character.  She's merely an actress wearing little and brooding much.<br /><br /> Supporting performances are provided by Bill Irwin as a gloomy guy who spouts philosophical aphorisms at crucial intervals, Freddy Rodriguez as a bodybuilder exercising only one side of his body, Jeffrey Wright as a crossword puzzle expert, and Bob Balaban as an unfeeling film and book critic.<br /><br /> I am totally perplexed as to the intended demographic for this film.  Little kids will find it scary (the scrunts are loathsome CGI-rendered creatures that lurk in the shadows and occasionally pounce), older kids will be bored, teenagers will find it not worth the effort to follow a constantly evolving, tortuous plot, and adults will simply dismiss it as what it is -- a bad movie.  The moral:  a bedtime story doesn't always make a good movie.
The movie title "Lady in the Water (Widescreen Edition)," available on Movies & TV, has received an average rating of 4.4 from 3273 reviewers. 
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This title falls under the categories of Movies & TV, Genre for Featured Categories and Drama. 
The additional details include the following in key-value format :
 {"Genre": "Drama, Fantasy, Science Fiction", "Format": "Multiple Formats, AC-3, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, NTSC, Subtitled, Dubbed, Widescreen", "Contributor": "Freddy Rodriguez, Jared Harris, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Balaban, M. Night Shyamalan, Paul Giamatti, Sam Mercer, Sarita Choudhury, Bill Irwin, Bryce Dallas HowardFreddy Rodriguez, Jared Harris, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Balaban, M. Night Shyamalan, Paul Giamatti, Sam Mercer, Sarita Choudhury, Bill Irwin, Bryce Dallas Howard  See more", "Initial release date": "2008-01-08", "Language": "Unqualified, English (Dolby Digital 5.1 EX), French (Dolby Digital 5.1 EX), Spanish (Dolby Digital 5.1 EX)", "Is Discontinued By Manufacturer": "No", "MPAA rating": "PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned)", "Product Dimensions": "7.75 x 5.75 x 0.5 inches; 0.01 Ounces", "Item model number": "MFR012569763753#VG", "Director": "M. Night Shyamalan", "Media Format": "Multiple Formats, AC-3, Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, NTSC, Subtitled, Dubbed, Widescreen", "Run time": "1 hour and 49 minutes", "Release date": "January 8, 2008", "Actors": "Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Bob Balaban, Jeffrey Wright, Sarita Choudhury", "Dubbed": "French, Spanish", "Subtitles": "English, Spanish, French", "Producers": "M. Night Shyamalan, Sam Mercer", "Studio": "Studio Distribution Services", "Writers": "M. Night Shyamalan", "Country of Origin": "USA", "Number of discs": "1"}

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