classify text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], text `I'm scared to live. And most days I want to die. I'm an 18 year old girl. I've battled depression on and off in silence since I was 14. Most of it was situational. However, after my graduation from High School in June, I began what has now turned into a five month battle against myself and my thoughts with no real cause.  

My parents have been separated on and off since I was 15. The last few years I've had a constantly stressful home life. This had been the cause of a majority of my depression but this recent wave had no real cause. But has currently gained fuel as things are only about to get worse as my mother has finally got up the courage to divorce my father. I'm starting college in January, I keep telling myself if I hold out till then I'll start feeling better. I constantly doubt this considering my father may not help me pay for college.

I'm a genuinely happy person. I have always been the happy girl with a contagious smile. But depression has swept over me leaving me only a shell of the person I was.

I doubt the point in living anymore. I have a wonderful boyfriend who is currently in the Army so we are apart. We want to get married. But I constantly worry about it, wondering if there is any point in it because we are so young and marriages never work out these days even with a strong foundation. I want to be a school teacher, and am thrilled to start classes. But going to college will wrack up so much debt that it will take decades to pay off. Teaching jobs are hard to come by and I am scared that I'll fail.

I'm terrified of failure. I'm terrified of living an unfulfilled life. BUT I'M SCARED TO LIVE. I don't know how to move forward anymore because all I see it the immediate failure of my choices. The more I think about my future, the more I romanticize death. 

Please help me. Please, please help me.`
self-harm