classify text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, text `Can someone tell me how to live or I might kill myselfI'm 20 and I have no passions or interests. I don't have any reason to wake up and don't ever have fun, even when my friends take me out and show me new things. I've been depressed ever since I can remember and never really learned good interpersonal skills or how to control myself, my mom was also depressed and taught me her great habits. I'm too anxious to leave my room most days and when I do I'm reminded of how much of an idiot I am and why I should have stayed home. My friends mostly stopped talking to me after high school because of how depressed I was, and because I dropped out of high school at 17 due to my anxiety/depression. Three years later nothing has changed and I'm worse than ever. All I've done is lose people and beat myself up for it and obsess over my ill thoughts alone in my room. I terrify myself and I terrify everyone who gets close to me because me opening up is just spewing all my horrible misconceptions (yes, I know most of the things I think about hating myself are wrong, but I can't make myself change my beliefs) and depending WAY too much on people for my happiness and to live my life for me, since when I have a friend I live completely for them. I have no idea how to do real life things and only get by working at a pizza shop because it's not real work. What's sad is that I enjoy education and learning but can't bring myself to do it. I really have no idea how to be a person.

My life is sad and empty and I know it. No wonder nobody wants to talk to me (especially when I'm so self-deprecating). I've never talked to guys in a serious manner and have only had drunk hookups which I've later regretted. Even though people think I'm amazing and kind-hearted and intelligent, it doesn't matter if I'm so sick. I don't know how to be comfortable around people and have no idea how to be physically close to people due to my insecurity.


I guess that sounds a little like borderline personality disorder/ avoidant personality disorder, but that's just me self-diagnosing again. It could just be dysthymia doubled with major depression and GAD and social anxiety. In any case, it's ruined my life. Talk therapy has never worked for me because I am very aware of the steps necessary to take to lead a healthy life but I can't or won't do them, and my therapists get annoyed with me for having full knowledge but never applying it and I get discouraged and stop showing up (typical). 


I'm worried if I don't figure out how to live soon I'm going to try to kill myself again and I don't want to tell my mom or my friends because I know all I've done is scare them and hurt them with my personal pain but I need to open up somewhere. `, return in JSON {'label'}
{"label": "self-harm"}