classify text [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis]

teks: About to snap.I don't know where else to turn. I'm losing my fucking mind and things are spiraling out of control.

I should mention, for the record, that I've never considered myself a suicidal person before. Ever. I never even thought about it, but a few times now I've sat in my car with a round in the chamber on my Glock, contemplating just ending it. I've never felt this bad.

Three weeks ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. We were together for 5 months. I loved everything we did together. We were so close, she understood me, I understood her. Then something in my mind triggered, and I started to feel all of the pain and hurt from my past. I was picked on in school, girls never liked me, I suffer from anxiety. We broke up because she said she just wants to be friends and wants me to get better.

I'm a very angry person and I can't figure out why. I haven't slept for more than 3 hours each night for the past two years. I take Effexor, Valium, and Ambien. I'm nearly drugged all day and even then it still feels bad. (I never took them all at once.)

I have issues forgiving myself over the way I treated her. She was sexually abused as a child and never had sex before. I have. I pressured her multiple times to have sex, but I had no idea she was abused until one night I asked her why she was so resistant. She told me, and I broke down. It was the first time I cried in about 5 years. Then a panic attack started. I couldn't breathe. I thought right then and there I was going to die. I wanted to die. I still do.

I miss her so fucking much. I know we can never be together. I've started to accept the idea that maybe there isn't even anyone out there for me. I'm afraid of getting hurt over and over so I've given up with trying.

I'm afraid of the world around me. I am afraid of people hurting me. I am terrible in social situations too. I can't deal with losing control of the situation around me. That's why I absolutely despise alcohol. I don't know how to be happy, I don't know how to enjoy life. I work non-stop and that's all I know. I'm afraid to start having fun because I'm afraid of losing control of myself.

More than anything, I feel alone. My brother and parents call and talk to me all the time, I can tell my mother anything, but I still feel alone. I go home and lay in bed until it's time for me to go to work again. I find absolutely no enjoyment in anything anymore. I don't game, I don't watch TV, I barely have enough energy to get up out of bed. I masturbate sometimes, but it always ends in me feeling worse. I haven't gone to the gym in ages.

I want to end it. I want to end this pain. I keep having flashbacks to our relationships and how terrible I treated her. She didn't deserve it. I'm a shitty person. I hate others happiness because I don't have it., return JSON {'kelas'}
{"kelas": "mencederakan diri sendiri"}