classify text {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}, text `I'm not really sure what to do anymore.I've been trying to get SSI since 2014 based on my mental health problems, but just got a letter showing the judge denied me. They literally sent me pages and pages of evidence my doctors sent in. I was pretty much denied because I felt well enough to go to an anime convention one time so it means I'm well enough to hold down a full time job. 

I'm just not really sure what to do at this point. I was hoping to be approved so that I could stop being a burden on the people around me, but that didn't happen. Also once I got approved I planned on coming out to everyone as transgender so that I could avoid being kicked out onto the street for being different than my family. But now that I feel that I can't do that I feel like I have to keep these overwhelming feelings inside for even longer and it makes me feel like shit. 

So I have no idea where my life is going, I have severe depression/bipolar disorder keeping me from being able to hold down a job and I'm a closeted trans/bi person. Everyday I find myself romanticizing the idea of suicide and how it would be an end to all my problems. I know that it would hurt my family and friends, but I keep getting closer and closer to the point where I don't care anymore. Eventually I feel like I'm going to break and then that will be that. 

I already have two methods chosen. Either hanging in the woods near my place, or throwing myself over the overpass before or after a doctor's appointment near where my psych doc is located.

I'm not sure what I even plan on getting out of this thread. I just need to type stuff right now. Like I've said multiple times, I just don't know what to do anymore. `
mencederakan diri sendiri