teks: Life after a suicide attemptA week has passed since my first and only suicide attempt. Ive been struggling for years in silence while doing my best to maintain a facade. I thought I was finally ending all the pain which was relieving in the moment. But im still here.  Everything has changed now and it is terrifying. Im fearful of so many things including the activities I used to do so effortlessly. I was in a psychiatric hospital after the attempt for three days and after convincing everyone around me I was okay I left still feeling empty and not wanting to live. Part of me wants others to be able to see my pain but im so good at composing myself and speaking positively that I can convince everyone around me the opposite of the real truth. I feel so alone and needy which is a feeling I hate to have. Im returning to work tomorrow far too soon because I have no more sick days. I am terrified of any possible trigger. I feel perpetually anxious and jittery because of the antidepressants. I am so guilty and feel so much shame surrounding everything. I never told my family so my major support system is in the dark which makes me feel lonelier. I told my boyfriend and he was very upset and I am worried about how it may affect him. Everyone always tells you to be honest with them but do they really mean that? I find it hard to believe that someone deeply invested in your well being would want to hear intimate details of the demons that haunt you on a constant basis.
kelaskan text [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis], bagi dalam JSON {'kelas'}
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