kelaskan teks [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis], teks `I'm at a loss for wordsI've stared at this text box for what must have be like 10 minutes. I want to keep this brief and as honest as possible, but I haven't learned yet how to be honest with myself.

I'm a 23-year old guy. Made the leap last summer and started school again in a completely new city. It hasn't gone well. I've made some friends, lost some of them, and in the process my mental health has rapidly declined. The social aspect of my life consumes me. I've opened up to people and shared my struggles in hopes of building a more honest and open relationship with the people around me. This has been one of the greatest mistakes of my life.

Nobody really 'cares' for you. You take notice of this in the way they act. I've given so much to people and it was all for nothing. They talk about how much they care for you and wish that you would be in a happier place in life, but it's all just words. I even bought into it a couple of times and had my heart and soul crushed by these very same people. Now I can't even act like myself anymore around people. I feel a great disconnect with the person I want to be and the person I really am. I search for something deeper, a genuine connection with the people around me, and in the end you're NOTHING to them. Even the people I've had with me since a young child I can't rely on.

Because of all this, I am moving cities again and starting a different school in hopes of regaining a part of myself that was lost here. But I know it doesn't matter. The outcome will be all the same and more intense this time around. I will leave everything behind and destroy the life I've tried to build here only because I'm so pitifully afraid of dealing with myself.

There's so much more I wish I could say, but I just can't be honest with myself or anyone else for that matter. The absurdity of my existence is so overwhelming at times that I wish with all of my heart and soul that I could just scream and wake up from whatever this hell-world simulation is.

It's one of those nights again. The though of ending it all gives me great comfort. I've had these nights before and I'll have many more to come. There's something beautiful in the familiarity, I suppose. The only reason I still have a sliver of life in me is because I don't feel like I'm done with my purpose here on Earth. I want to make art and films to tell my story. I hope to God that I'll still be here to tell it.`
mencederakan diri sendiri