kelaskan teks {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, teks `Hopeless and listless after girlfriend died a few months agoWhat am I even supposed to be doing? My parents are dead, I'm friendless, my girlfriend died a few months ago, I'm a recovering alcoholic, and I have Asperger's and brain damage from the SSRIs and Xanax I was prescribed from ages 11-19. I don't have any talents or interests other than being obsessed with music, animals, ecology, history, art, philosophy and neuroscience: so fields with no hopes to get actual careers in. I'm going through the motions of getting my degree in Cognitive Science right now at a mediocre state university, but the girlfriend dying thing ruined me mentally and I no longer have any attention span or motivation. I'd always been a talentless hack anyway. My grades have gone to shit as a result of this and I really don't feel any desire to stay in school.

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Last time I posted somewhere, somebody told me I should drop out and rely on my friends and family but I have neither. I have online friends, but I don't consider that anything, really. I spend every waking hour of every day on the computer other than going for walks but I live in a dangerous shithole pillhead town in Upstate New York so I can't really do much other than "walk around and hope something happens". Even if I stay home, I just hear the neighbor yelling at his wife all night. Not a town I really want to stay in at all.

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Honestly, what do you people even mean when you say "just go outside bro"? I'm not gonna magically meet people with my interests just aimlessly wandering around. Going out just makes me feel a lot worse. I live in a boring hick college town and I don't have a car. I can't even drive. I grew up working class and I know how much you Reddit types despise poor white people anyway, so I'm just gonna embrace it and start doing opiates and wait for my inevitable overdose.`
self-harm