classify text {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}, text `Am I selfish?I'm new to all this so I don't know how this works....I guess I just write it all down? No holding back? Alright well here is my life story....when I was little I used to think everything was great you know the sky is always blue kinda life I didn't realize what my dad was doing wasn't "normal" was "right" so after the beatings after the hurt I'd still go to him and think he was my world cause after all he is my dad and I was daddy's little girl.....as I grew up I'd watch my mom and brother get hit for things that weren't even bad or their fault....but daddy's little girl didn't see it as bad since I would get the beatings too I saw it as a sign of love so I would go and beat on my brother too and call him names...I didn't know it was bad I thought it was love....I treated my brother so bad that one point my brother wrote a suicide letter and almost killed himself....I was 5....from that day on I knew what was going on wasn't right....I'm 17 now and it still goes on....I've learned to hide the pain learned to hide it all my brother he moved away when he graduated and left me alone with the man who broke my right rib and didn't take me to the doctors to get it fixed...to this day it's indented....but who could blame him for leaving me? I wouldn't....never once have I been told "I love you" from him unless he is drunk and has hurt me bad which has lead me to look for love in guys who don't care about me and only want sex....I'm 17 and have slept with 12 guys one day I found myself sleeping with my best friends boyfriend...don't ask me why I did it I still don't have the answer....that's when my 1st suicide attempt came across...my friends all left me when they found out but again who could blame them? I tried to jump of the bridge close to my house but was stopped by cops driving by I spent a week in the hospital and went to school after with less friends people thought I'd gone crazy....so a life where I had no body at school or no body at home I was all alone getting beat by my dad night after night and being told how unloved and fat and a whore I was....I started cutting myself it gave me a feeling of control in my life what a great feeling it was...till I carved the word fat into my leg so deep I didn't stop bleeding and ended up in the hospital again....was there for 2 weeks....no body cared....that all happened my sophomore year of high school this year my junior year I've made new friends thought things would go better they did for a little dad layer back on the abuse and alcohol...but all good things come to an end right....found out he started gambling which lead back to the alcohol and back to the beatings he now wastes all his money and I work 2 jobs to try and support me and my mom I'm failing most of my classes because I have no time for school work....junior year tried to kill myself twice because I was tired of the name callin tired of the feeling like I'm nothing and tired of being an adult at 17....I have stopped cutting though but the suicide attempts and hospital visits keep coming back.....I'm lost one how to fix my life....I don't want to call services I've lived with it this long ill be ok....I guess I just want to know there is someone out there like me....I'm not the only one who has gone through something like this....hope this all made sense `, return in JSON {'label'}
{"label": "mencederakan diri sendiri"}