teks: About to see what a bullet tastes like, Help My depression started when i was 10. I didnt have suicidal thoughts thet it was just me wondering what i was to the world just an ant on a mountian. I grew up, my only friend i fell head over heels in love with. They knew that. (I confessed pretty early) before that my depression took a dark turn and well. I had suicidal thoughts every other day. I told him about it and he kept wanting me to live, live for him. And just wait tell he was ready. (He hasnt put his foot in the door of life yet and didnt want a relationship tell he was ready) after years of me swooning over him and him telling me he liked me he just wasnt ready. I started noticing subtle things in his actions and his conversations with m, he doesnt like me. And i feel he is just saying he does because he doesnt want to break me. After that i was on the verge of biting the bullet. For 3 months now every day for every second ive contemplated it. And today i see that he has been secretly with somone. I broke down. Told him that it was prob goodbye. And he just said ok. Ok. A person who he has know for 4 years now. And loved him. And all he has to that is ok. Was everything a lie. The only person i had. The only reason i havnt done it. And they didnt give a damn about me. I have no more reasons to live. But for some reason i decides before i do it ill come here. Maybe somone could convince me to stop, sorry for spilling some sort of life story. It may be the last story i tell.(throwawayacc)
kelaskan text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn]
self-harm