teks: Convinced suicide is my only optionI will probably delete this but I have PTSD from multiple events of sexual nature but as a result have been disowned by family members etc. Not being able to function properly is causing rifts between me and my immediate family, namely my mum. My goal is to leave this city full of bad memories to go somewhere some hours away but it all relies on me getting good grades and I can barely get through a day without crippling flashbacks, anxiety etc. I've also got a long term illness and deal with constant exhaustion that adds to being too depressed to keep going with anything. 

I'm sorry this is probably a mess of text my head is in a bad place and I can't form sentences right but I was speaking to my mum and just the words she used and her discouragement and belief that I'm not going to make it and that I should have just dropped out of sixth form and being really cold towards me made something in my head just switch. Like in my head I decided and accepted this was it, there's nobody else to turn to except a mother who has so little faith in me and who I cause pain to from being this way.

I really don't want this to be the end when I've barely experienced anything good in my life yet, but I don't know how to move on from this hurdle, waiting for therapy, living in a tiny flat with people constantly screaming since my mum isnt very stable either. I don't know what to do anymore.
kelaskan text {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}
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