teks: Lifes been downhill ever since false accusations were made, ending it is probably the right move.When I was in college I was falsely accused of sexual assualt. Her motivations were from the anger our circle of friends had about our hook up i gotta think. After everyone told her how mad they were we hooked up she started saying how i needed to admit what I did to her, even though I had done nothing. Fun thing about this is that no one believes you for a second, no one you thought was your friend anyways. They automatically believe that she has to be telling the truth and began to pressure her to go the authorities. 

Some weeks later she does and I am abruptly awoken one morning to the police at my door, fortunately they actually believed me and even remarked to me on the way home it isnt uncommon what happens to me and that charges will not be filled. They arent and I thought the worst of this ordeal was behind me. I had lost most of my friends but then again were they really my friends to begin with?

I tell almost no one, for sure not my family and slowly but surely begin removing myself from social situations telling those close to me im just not into partying anymore when the truth was I was scared of every women I met. Friends tried to set me up with perfectly nice seeing women and all I could do was think about how she could try and fuck me over. Unfair to them in every respect but my mind wont think of anything else.

So I try and seek professional help, I go to therapy, the schools therapist after one session informs me that I would do better in group, I tell that that no I dont think ill be able to talk about these issues in group but there I get stuck anyways, rarely saying anything of consequence because I cannot stand the thought of being judged by people who view anyone accused as guilty inherently. 

I am now out of college unemployed largely friendless and out of options. My belief that everyone is out to get me has only grown and continues to cloud my mind, I will never be whole again and I still do not trust new people in my life at all. So I am stuck wishing there was a world where none of this ever happened but I know what will not happen, instead I will continue to decline until I ultimately do kill myself. Theres really no other path for me, I cannot imagine how I ever have the life I want with the thoughts that never leave my head. 

Who knows maybe its for the best, im not useful and im becoming more jaded and harder to be around for the handful of people who will still talk to me. 

Obviously a throwaway and while i guess im looking for support I guess I also just wanted to put these thoughts out there. 
kelaskan text [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis], bagi dalam JSON {'kelas'}
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