kelaskan teks {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}, bagi dalam bentuk JSON {'kelas'}, teks `This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life. I can't stop crying.This is a garbled mess. I'm sorry. 

I am getting married next month. I have found my true counterpart, my puzzle piece, my true soul mate in every form of the word. He's perfect and our relationship - thus far, two years - has been perfect. He's never made me feel sad, annoyed, or angry. We have never fought. We never even disagree over anything meaningful. He treats me with respect every second of every day and I am truly blessed to be marrying him. I am thankful everyday. 

I wish we would have just disappeared and gotten married on our own because planning a wedding has made me feel more alone, unloved and uncared for by the rest of the people in my life. Fiancé is my rock. He's there every step of the way in all the planning (whereas even the bridesmaids are not). He is the only exception to all this whining. 

First of all, almost none of my family is coming. Even with a year's notice they can't be bothered to take time off of work, travel (one state's distance) and be there for me. I can't say that wasn't expected - my family has always been like that - but it still hurts. 

Secondly, my coworker picked the same wedding date as us (knowing full well that it was ours) and despite me sending out save the dates and invitations out way before her, our other coworkers are choosing to attend her wedding over mine. Which, of course, wouldn't hurt so much if I had family and friends... But really, work folks were a big part of my life. 

Which brings me to number three. I invited a lot of people I thought were my friends. They are the ones marking "decline." Fiancé's  whole family is coming. Tons of his friends. It feels more like his party than mine, and I am but simply a guest. We split the invite list nearly evenly (total of 150) but I don't have very much support from "my" side. Whenever i express this to anyone (other than fiancé, who is always comforting), they push my feelings off with that sentimental garbage of "but it's not about you anymore it's you as a COUPLE. his family and friends count you aren't separate anymore!" 

I want people to come for me, independent of who I was marrying.  If that makes sense. 

I ask for help from friends and family - time, assistance, not money - and am turned down. 

I dream of having a big wedding filled with loved ones but I realize my family doesn't care. I'm not important enough to win over coworkers. Friends don't care. I feel like I am going to feel like a guest at my own wedding. It's so petty but I am so envious of people who just have people SHOW UP. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. What about me makes me unlikeable? I just wish I knew. I'd fix it. 

I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. 

And I feel so awful for my fiancé dealing with my sadness. His heart breaks for me. He has even commented about terrible people have been to me. 

We should have just ran away together. You can't make people care about you. 

`
{"kelas": "mencederakan diri sendiri"}