teks `this thing is destroying my life Hello I apologise for my bad english and thank you if you read my story and give me an advice because I have no idea how to continue with my life.

I am 20 years old male and I suffer from big depressions and anxiety everyday. I do not remember when I felt relaxed or not worried whole day, I feel scared whole day and stressed I can not even learn or live a normal life. I have social problems, like if I go to college for class or talk with random people I feel terrible and I start to vomit(or try to vomit), I cant even eat in the morning or before class because I will start vomiting at moment before entering college institution or meet random people. ( I do not really visit college, only preparing course)

This year I have finished the secondary school, it was one of the most terrible years of my life, I will explain further.

I always had to have the best results from class and I learnt everyday for school and felt happy, previous year before final year I became a sick(throat infection) and was at home for 2 weeks and taking antibiotics, unfortunatelly my ex-classmates did not want to help and noone sent me notes from last 2 weeks (even they were preparing and learning for school, they could not waste 5 minutes of their time?) I had to go school on next day and I started feeling terrible, that noone helped me and I will come unprepared and then it became, I started vomiting and feel sick in stomach. Since then became one of worst years of my life. Before every test I wanted to vomit,(that feel when you want to vomit and you actually feel you are going and open mouth but nothing goes out) and also before oral exam I started to have same feeling so I hide my face with my arm so noone sees. I couldnt even do presentation of my project because of this, so I sent project to teacher and I went to WC that I feel bad so I dont have to present it, after the lesson ended I felt normal again. I also noticed that I am not ABLE TO LEARN, that everything new takes me 2x more time to learn and I forget the curriculum after 1-2 weeks and when we we did revision I felt like I never heard of this (Maybe you think that I am a bad student, that i did not learn and prepare so thats why I do not remember, but I will be honest with you, last 4 years I had only the best marks on final paper, so I prepared everyday). In the week of final oral exams, I vommited every morning and did not sleep so good but still I somehow got the best results again.

This all "vomiting" started since I was very small, always before I went to kindergarten or somewhere outside of my home I started vomiting or trying to vomit, then I did not want to eat anything there. My parents were arguing a lot like every year and I felt scared every year because of them and their bullshit, they destroyed my mental health. There was a period when I did not have any of these issues it was when I was 11-15. At that time I didnt really cared for good results and future. When im telling my parents now about this issue now they act like im retarded that I am 20 yo, and I should GET OVER it, so I tried to get over it, started going to GYM but it did not get away.

Now I am preparing for college, because I was not accepted, I am not concentrated I feel scared and before going to college course I do same thing, want to vomit. I again dont remember much what I have learnt even after revision. My dad told me last year that they will not accept me and he did this again to get me mentally down.

I tried to find a normal institution which would help me in this issue, but in my country there is nothing like that and everyone cares about money.

I understand that stress is normal part of life, but I dont want to feel to vomit or want to vomit anymore just to eat and work like a normal human...

Please recommend me something to do, or how to get over it. I cant let this to destroy my life.`, kelaskan teks guna labels {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}
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