classify text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}

teks: I probably don't even really want to dieShould I be using a throwaway? I mean probs, but I don't care at this point

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I don't know where to begin. How did I get to this point? I'm in constant physical pain. I keep having these ugly flashbacks and intrusive thoughts. I can't fall asleep from the pain, and when I do, I get waken up by nightmares. They say the darkest hour is just before dawn, but I really don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I've done my best for so long. I really have.

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Maybe I should get help. But I don't even know where to go. I wouldn't know what to say. I've actually tried before. It always led me back to square one. Actually even farther back, because I lose a bit more hope of getting better. I also don't want to give my problems any more of my attention and time than they're already taking from me.

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On one hand I refuse to acknowledge that anyone or anything could have had such a huge impact on me, even all these years later. On the other I think I deserve everything that happened and is happening to me. Either way, I'll make up any excuses to not go get professional help (lol)

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I feel like my thoughts are stuck in this kind of loop. I want outside perspective. I know there are so many of you who have been where I am. I know there's a lot of people who managed to make it out. But I don't know where to begin.
self-harm