teks: Help those other peopleWith everything going on I know there a LOT who are suicidal. People far, far more important than me. 
 
 I’m suicidal over the fact that I’m either going to be homeless (worse; crazy and homeless, not going have the medical care I need to survive (underlying medical issues) or catch COVID-19, which will kill me.

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about just going ahead and ending my life. I posted about this before on Reddit and people have offered a lot of support. They’ve listened to my never ending crazy - I’m grateful. 

I’m still full nothing but fear , insecurity, abandonment issues and tears, I think I can put a better face on it for everyone else for now. I’ll still fall apart at home by myself, which is everyday now. 

My job has evaporated like smoke, no unemployment yet (long story), no money,  soon no insurance or medication access either. Started taking meds every other day to stretch things out. 

I’m going try and put a brave face on for everybody in my life - hide everything I can for as long as i can.

I don’t think I’ll have a choice soon. 

I hope, I’m wrong. I’m really really really hope I’m wrong. 

I wanted to take a moment to thank everybody for listening. I wish I could give each of you a hug and say thank you for the gifts you’ve given me.

Forgot about me - help those other folks out there.
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