kelaskan teks {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, teks `Someone to talk toI'm a musician sort of. I have a halfway finished degree in jazz studies. I do kitchen work and gig for a living but this last year I haven't gotten many gigs. I'm extremely lonely. I'm not good at socializing. I'm not ugly but I'm pretty weird and not easy to talk to. It's hard for me to look people in the eye, I get really anxious. I don't have anybody I can talk to. The only person that really gets me is my ex girlfriend and I can't expect her to be that for me. I'm codependent. My mother was very abusive. She hit me a lot and screamed at me everyday until I moved out. I'm afraid. I feel very neurotic. This week I broke and screamed at my direct supervisor at work because I feel he is extremely condescending and toxic. He blames my co-workers mistakes on me. He's passive aggressive so he won't confront anyone directly, but for some reason I'm his scapegoat. I called him out on showing up 30 minutes late everyday yet complaining morning prep wasn't getting done, not training new employees and expecting me to do it, and just generally not applying the standards he sets for me to himself. I feel close to breaking. I know people who jump to their death always change their mind right after they jump so logically I don't see myself doing that, but I'm nearly thirty and my entire life has been awful. I have something huge blocking me up emotionally, I don't know how to fix it. I feel like crying. I'm so tired all the time. I really need help and I don't know how to ask for it or who to ask. 

Sorry for the wall`
self-harm