classify text [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis], text `Seeking help anonymously and preferably online (it doesn't have to be free).Does anyone else here have suicidal thoughts even though things are seemingly good in life? I know most people who post here have hit rock bottom but that’s not what I experience. There are days when I wake up and feel really heavy in the chest as if my breathing becomes harder and I have these obsessive thoughts of jumping off a bridge with a rope around my neck. My life is good and I have people around me who love me but there’s always this feeling I can’t shake that their love isn’t fully unconditional and that they would drop me like a bad habit after the first sign of trouble. The reason I feel this way is because a few years ago I had a weight problem that I’ve now overcome and I had to follow a special diet. During that time my father one day lashed out at me because “other kids your age are dying in Iraq and you can’t even handle what you eat”. Our fight then escalated and he said I was a loser and unworthy to be his son. We recovered since that and we’re good now but because of this I can’t trust that my family would be tolerant in case I went through hard times again so I’m really scared to talk about all this. I’m thinking of going to therapy but I don’t want anyone to know and I’m afraid they’ll find out and disown me. I can afford therapy on my own but I still live with my family (I’m 24) and I’m sure somehow one day they’ll figure it out and I want to avoid that at all costs. In a couple of years I’ll be able to afford my own place but that seems like a long time to live with these thoughts. I know everyone here is nice and supportive but where I come from, people (including family) treat you as a nutcase if they find out and there’s a serious stigma following you for the rest of your life. I live in Greece and here they record your “mental history” and if you have a suicidal past you can’t complete your mandatory military service which means it will show up on my CV and companies won't want to hire me because the army brands you with the same paper they give to worse cases like schizophrenia. Seeking help openly can fuck up my life so do you have any advice? Is there any help I can get anonymously and online without the need to go through a more formal process? Again I’m sorry my case isn’t worse or more immediate compared to others here but I would appreciate some advice because I want to fix my problems and I don’t want to live with these stupid thoughts anymore. Thanks for reading this.

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P.S. I'll delete this after I get my answer because I don't want it showing up on my feed. I hope that's ok.`, return in JSON {'kelas'}
{"kelas": "mencederakan diri sendiri"}