classify text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn]

teks: Tired and spentI don't think that anyone around me realizes just how serious my apathy is. Everyone hopes that I'm "just going through a sad stage", but the truth is that I've always been like this.

I've taught and made myself believe that my sole purpose in life is to suffer. For whom and why, it didn't matter. I just needed to suffer in order to atone for whatever sins I may had done. My guilt and all of my rotten pleasures...

I feel so demoralized and alone in this world. I have yet to meet someone who knows and understands the meaning of causes.

Maybe I've spent too much time alone, but I'm starting to realize just how nihilistic everyone is. I'm starting to see just how people revel in their ironic laughter at their "values". To be aware of just how empty their words are, and yet not understand them. It is madness...

I don't know what to do.

Change? I cannot change, it's my best trait. I avoided a fate more horrible than death by not changing for the sake of companionship. You don't have to believe me, and I'm probably making a big fuss about it, but my isolated lifestyle gave me insight into things that the "socially-trained" mind cannot pick up. It's what made me a better person, albeit naive.

I loved the idea of an orderly and just society more than I've ever loved myself. I lived most of my life thinking about how I could do my part for the whole. Yet, if I die now, the negative impact on my little world would outweigh any good that I've done.

Yet, I cannot live. I'm too broken. Too insane with dissapointment. Drifting...
self-harm