teks `Suicide watchSo my wife was using my phone in bed last night, she couldn't find hers, and she came across some of my search history. Something like "how many Valium to kill yourself" came up and she flipped out. I admitted to having curiosity about it, but tried to reassure her that I wasn't going to kill myself, after recently being prescribed the drug to cope with anxiety. I haven't even had to have a tablet in over a week, so I've learnt to cope with the anxiety better, or it has dropped down.

So last time I was going to kill myself, I think it was in 2013 or 2014, I'd dropped my daughter off with her Auntie to look after for the day, then dropped some stuff off at work that I had borrowed from various people. Then I drove off to "The Gap" in Sydney. While driving I was taking all of whatever pills I could find, chewing them up because I thought that would make them release better, and then once at The Gap, I waited for the right moment, when there weren't so many people around to witness. Before the moment came a member of the public came up to talk to me and I couldn't make her go away. People were milling around me, and I just couldn't get the opportunity to jump, then the police arrived and I was taken away.

The reason I'm telling this story is to remind myself what my wife went through. She got a call from the police while I was in an ambulance for observation before being taken to the mental health ward at St Vincents hospital. The police took my car and parked it at the local police station, my wife had to arrange with my mate to help her come and pick it up.

It was all a massive inconvenience to her, and she reminds me of that. But she said last night "I just want to know if you're going to do it."

Does this become part of my plan now? Do I have to run in past her for approval before I off myself? It seems to me that if you want to commit suicide, the last thing you want to do is tell people you're going to, or they'll stop you.`, kelaskan texts [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis] dan pulangkan dalam bentuk JSON {'kelas'}
{"kelas": "mencederakan diri sendiri"}