classify text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], text `I'm planning againEverything is wrapping up nicely. My roommate is moving out for good, so I'll have the house to myself. Holidays are over so everyone will have gotten one last show out of me if they wanted it. Work is starting to wind down for a bit again and all of my projects are pretty much a mess because I simply can't be assed to give a shit anymore. I never heard back from the psychiatrists office that I called and at this point I'm not even sure I'd want their help. I have no one to talk to about this anymore as I threw a tantrum at my therapist a while back and now she wont let me make an appointment until I'm on some meds. I'd see a doctor and talk to a therapist one last time if they were willing, but it really appears they aren't.

I ordered my supplies, they should be here sometime next week. At that point I'll be able to pick a day. No mistakes this time. No one to pull me out of my car. No one to "save" me back into this life that I just don't want anymore. I know its not painful, even if it is a bit scary. Just a few labored breaths and some panic feeling. All of that goes away quickly though. I don't know how quickly I passed out the last time, but it was FAST. Less than two minutes if I had to guess. I found out from an old friend that I had attempted suicide in 8th grade. I don't remember doing it, but he claims I took the razor out of a pencil sharpener and tried to slash my wrists. Of course it didn't work but, if true, it means that my upcoming attempt will be my 5th. This one has to stick. It just has to. I could not deal with another botched attempt. I could not deal with another failure. I could not deal with the hospital again.

I just don't get it. I don't get why people enjoy being alive. Sure there are good things but most of the time even when I'm trying to make myself enjoy things that I know I should I just feel numb. It doesn't matter what I try or what I do. I've tried a dozen different medications from two doctors, three different therapists, adjusting my diet, adjusting my activity level, adjusting my sleep and pretty much trying every remotely realistic sounding thing that might make me feel better. Nothing does. I'm exhausted by life. I can't wait for my packages to ship so I can finally figure out when my life will end.

Just needed to get this out of my brain. I expect nothing from any of you and hope you all find something I just can't.`, return in JSON {'label'}
{"label": "self-harm"}