kelaskan teks {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, teks `Its not bad again, its always the sameHi, Im new on this subreddit. Im a child that wants to be the same again, that wants to forget. Feeling of wanting to die is so much more real now. Its more and more real every day, it hurts so much. I tried coping with many techniques (drawing, singing, painting, dancing, walking, working out, reading, studying, writing...) and I just feel more weak because I fail. Same goes for trying to talk about it, Im starting to be annoying to all my friends, because why would someone want to listen that I carved myself like a loser I am again. Therapists dont work, I tried that too but my last therapist gave up on me. I hate those girls that act depressed because its "aesthetic", because of them, depression is not taken seriously enough. I try, I really do, but its just a big fail every time. My grades are getting lower because I cant concentrate, when I read, my mind flies away in the middle of the sentence. My hygiene is getting worse and worse, even tho I used to wash my teeth twice a day because I was scared of the smell. When I was 4, my grandma died, and my parents started blaming me on everything. When I was 7, my parents were pissed because I was scared of school, of other children. When I was 12, I was stabbed and it all got even worse. It all feels bad and Ion even know what to do with myself at this point. Im full of scars and they all look ugly. I dont need talk, just tell me what to do, I dont want to die like this, but whenever it gets bad feeling of the need to die and hate towards myself is so much worse and so much more real, I dont want to die like this. Please help me if you know how`
self-harm