teks: A long time ago...Well, not really that long ago, more like five years ago I was suicidal. still am to a degree but I'm coping with it. No, I haven't had a traumatic experience, nor have I lost someone close, I'm just depressed. I don't take medications because the time I did decide to see professional help, I was given Prozac. You know how that ended? I had a fucking .45 to my head! I always contemplated suicide, but the pills opened a door that allowed me to actually go through with it! Odd... regardless, I pulled the trigger and... nothing?!?!?! In my mind all I heard was "what the fuck? are you that much of a loser that you can't even fire a damn gun properly?" That was a tipping point for me! I do want to die, but I'm just bad at it. So I flipped out, cut myself, cried a lot, cut myself some more, and as the blood was running down my chest and arms, a warm, comforting feeling started coming over me. I had lost a lot of blood at that point, but I wasn't cold. It was as if someone was hugging me. I cried some more, stopped the blood loss, went to the hospital and got stitches...


there's no real point to my story. i still feel depressed today, but suicide is not an option for me. 


kelaskan text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}
self-harm