classify text [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis]

teks: I’ve never felt so shitty in my lifeDuring my freshman year of university, I tried to kill myself, because of bullying I was experiencing. 

I thought I’ve been doing well since then. I branched out, made new friends, went to therapy, and started appreciating myself a lot more. 

The key word there is thought. 

Recently, there were a few experiences that made me want to try doing it again. 

Last weekend, my friend committed suicide. He was feeling depressed for a long time, something none of his friends ever knew about. There’s a bridge in our area known for suicides, and he jumped off of it. One of his former bullies started telling me and a few other friends of his to kill ourselves and that he deserved to die, which pisses me the hell off. 

I have also been bullied in one of my classes, done over Zoom this quarter. There’s a group of guys in the class who have been making my life literal hell. They’re calling me retarded cause I have a disability, telling me I sound like cancer, calling me ugly, calling me a faggot cause I'm bi, telling me to try killing myself again (after I opened up about my suicide attempt), telling me that I'm a "useless English major", (they’re business majors) and a lot of other things.

My professor has been really supportive and she even called them out in an email to the whole class after she found out they said those things to me. She said “they’re not guys, they’re just boys” and that is the perfect definition, and she told me about her own struggle with mental health and how she went through similar things as an undergrad. 

I’m so lost and don’t know what to do. The advice she gave to ignore even if it gets worse and to do things I love and surround myself with people I love is helping me get by today. She even told me my life is valuable and that she will always support me which is nice.

My girlfriend, my family, and a lot of my friends have been supportive when I reached out too. I just wanna try it again. I have a plan to try again. I don’t deserve to be treated like this, but I feel like I'd be giving people what they want if I did it.
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