teks: need advicei wrote a huge post in detail about exactly why i wanted to die but ill make it shorter bc i actually need people to read, comment, just tell me what to do bc i dont know anymore..

\-im transgender (female to male), i tried really hard to accept myself as my gender but i dont think i can be happy unless i make the transition, i cant stand my body anymore

\-i have aspergers, been bullied for 2 schools years before for it, im not bullied anymore but it makes me so socially handicapped and guilty about it constantly

\-at one point i got a taste of what it was like to be happy, for 6 months i used to have a good life but lost everything at once. made me really depressed and i lost hope.

\-my parents treat me like an object they're holding hostage and they are terrible, i wish they could just kick me out already i feel so trapped 

\-i used to have hobbies now im untalented and unmotivated and i gained weight from depression 

\-i became lonely, i feel unlovable, i feel suicidal 24/7 bc of it

\-the thing that bought me here is bc at one point i was in such a bad place that i got plastic surgery, it was a chin implant and i hated it bc i wasnt thinking straight and it was something i never would have considered unless my parents werent so terrible to agree.. if i was in a good mental state, i wouldn't even have considered it..

what happened was i got it removed and was told that it would go back to normal but it didnt, my face almost looks more feminine, and im being called delusional for questioning the fact that it is different but i know my face, my friend agrees that its different, the surgeon is a friend of my father's so they might have done some shit to make my face more fem to 'cure me of my transness' or some shit because my parents have done insane shit like this before but i cant question it bc my parents will dismiss me.. even if it is just a genuine mistake or thing that happened  that led my chin not to go back to normal like scar tissue, i would like to know at least, but instead they're throwing me in a loop and dissing me for eve thinking that something is off.

it isn't a butchered surgery, it looks normal, it just doesnt look like me and im 17 ffs, even if later on in my life i decide to get it back to normal myself, my smile still changed because of the surgery, and its scary to think that it'll never be the same again.

i just want to be myself ffs, i attempted suicide before but it didnt work and made my parents more controlling and now i feel more trapped, im afraid to attempt again, i wasnt sure but after this surgery i know i want to die but im afraid because i might fail again.
kelaskan text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], bagi dalam JSON {'label'}
{"label": "self-harm"}