classify text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], text `ending things after giving gifts to peopleSo tired of this. It's been years, but even when things have started looking better at some points the depression and dread slowly creeps back in until I'm back to where I'm at right now, yet again. I don't mean to sound cliche, but I honestly think no one can understand unless they've also traveled through the depths of despair. I've burned so many bridges and ruined opportunities, now there's only a handful of people who are even aware of my existence. It physically hurts to be so alone. 

Now I'm just waiting until the presents I ordered for my family come in so I can give those away. This gives me a little time to finish getting things in order (sorting out worldly possessions, trying to erase my online identity as best as I can). I have college exams all this week but I don't give a shit about any of them, because to me, nothing longer matters. I don't want to confront painful events from my past anymore, I don't want to have to struggle through each day anymore, I don't want to feel guilty for not living up to my potential, I don't want to do anything because nothing brings me joy, I just don't want to do it  anymore. Thank you for reading.`
self-harm