teks `things won't get better and I'm tired of waitinghi I was thinking, and things don't? Actually change? atleast for me they don't. things r kinda hopeless. if we pay attention to the big parts of my life, things have genuinely only gotten worse.  like what really even is the point. I'm not saying what's the point as in the generic "we all die anyway so any progress we do make doesn't really matter" I'm saying it more in a way, specifically for me. why am I still trying to be alive, if there's no reason to be. it's not like I'm Important at all and any impressions I make on anyones life will only be temporary, because friends don't last forever. im tired of being lonely and sad. ever since day one things have gotten progressively worse and worse. I really think I'm going to do it. not in a moment of panic and being overwhelmed. I just want peace. and I'm sorry.Theres something wildly beautiful about imagining myself dead, not sure what it is tho. just the blank expression of someone finding me. what I'd look like. I can't even be safe in my own head. my adhd fuckbrain is always running 1000 miles per minute on some new hyperfixation and when I'm not able to be kept to my thoughts I'm around people, with my anxiety running wild. no one there to understand or help me. it really is just hopeless. things don't change, and I've accepted that. it's not that I haven't tried to make things change or to get help. if it isn't obvious, I'm a minor. there's not much more I can do then 'speak up' which everyone talks about so much when the topic of suicide is brought up, and I have. I've said it straight to my family's face that I want to kill myself, that I want to die, that I've done the math for how many mgs of certain pills I need to take. I've even asked to go to a mental hospital but no luck. no one will ever take me seriously. they'll all see soon enough. probably sometime in October tho as I've promised my friend to stay alteast until late September.`, kelaskan teks guna labels [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn]
self-harm