teks `GrayI don't want to die, but I don't want to live. I feel gray. No color, rash decisions, deceit, struggles, have all been the root of ending up here. 


I used to be so colorful, so happy, an eccentric outgoing personality but now I can't even look someone in the eyes walking past them. Maybe I'm taking away from the people on here that really need you guys, maybe I need you guys, but I don't know where else to go. 

My biggest fear is not having a personality and I can literally feel me, my psyche, my humor, quip remarks, slipping through my hands like gray polluted sand. 

I'm polluted. 

Feelings of impending doom. 

I don't see my life in years ahead because I don't have a purpose and whenever I look for a purpose it's not there I have no drive no motivation to make me a better me. What sucks? Is I know I'm the player one who makes the next chess move. I know I can king myself and become this beautiful being of who I really want to be. But I don't see the move, I don't see who I want to be I'm just an aimless gray pawn wandering around the board until someone places my next move in front of me. 

I don't know where to go but I'm here, because support through a screen is better than the face to face interaction I would have with my closest relationships, mother, best friend, boyfriend, family. Judging the gray painting from their beautiful world of color. 

I'm not black, blue or rainbow. I'm gray and I'm drowning in this ocean of not being good enough, not being me enough, not being human enough. Here I am. A gray pawn waiting for my next move. `, kelaskan texts [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn] dan pulangkan dalam bentuk JSON {'kelas'}
{"kelas": "self-harm"}