kelaskan teks {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, bagi dalam bentuk JSON {'label'}, teks `I feel so shitty.Hi. 

I've been on Reddit for a year and just found out about this place yesterday. I was almost in tears when I saw someone link this place in another post.

Anyway. I am a 19 year old girl. I have struggled with severe depression all my life.

I tried to kill myself when I was 14 by taking many pills of all different kinds. I took about 60, and I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was not happy to still be here.

I struggled and struggled, but never tried again because I figured that's just how much I suck.

Fast forward to about last October. I had started college and I was happy. This last year or so, I have been happier than I have ever been in my life. I actually had friends, for the first time. A group of friends I did everything with. I met my current boyfriend. I am in love with him.

I used to have very thick skin, but I'm a lot more fragile now. I seem very happy, but it's very easy to hurt me on the inside. 

Basically, the last week has been horrible. I don't want to go outside. Last night I was outside in the rain and I was so upset in general about my life that I threw up on myself. I can't even begin to explain how embarrassing that is.

Today I woke up in great physical pain. I stayed home from school. 

I don't know what to do anymore. I've pretty much just been crying, and I'm not a cryer.

I lost all my friends. We separated because nobody has similar interests. I don't have friends. Two years ago I did have a best friend but they died in a car ccident. :' I don't even have one I can talk to. I adopted a kitten a couple months ago to be my guaranteed friend for 15+ years. She is 5 months old and has cancer. I don't even know what to do with myself. She has less than 6 months to live. When I look at her it hurts. It's not even fair to her. What the fuck.

I've been applying at job after job after job after job after job with no luck. My interviews go well but nobody likes me because of my ear piercings. :( My current job that I've been at for almost four years treats me like dirt. I don't even feel like a human being when I am there. I am belittled and treating like shit. The building actually sucks. My working condition sucks. I only get 8 hours a week and have so many bills to pay. I'm starting to sell things that are important to me to make extra cash.

My mom never gets off my case about anything. She's been verbally abusive my whole life. She calls me worthless, and stupid, and lazy, and a disgrace to the family. If I'm doing something (like sitting in my room, depressed, because that's all I do), she will call a family member and when I eavesdrop I hear her saying I did things that never happened. My whole family hates me because they think I am this evil kid, and I am not at all.

I have been trying a new birth control and have been bleeding for over a month. I already have iron deficiency (anemia) so I feel shitty all the time. 

I did see a therapist for a year a couple years ago. My insurance has changed since then and I can't afford a therapist any more... each visit is really expensive... 

I'm not happy with my appearance. I've been exercising for three weeks but don't feel any better. I am having the hardest time even staying the tiniest bit motivated for anything.

There are so many other things that I can't even think of to type right now because I feel so sick to my stomach... 

I'm not going to kill myself, but I want to. 

The worst part of all of this is I'm scared fucking shitless to go back to the hell I was in years ago. I am so scared of that place. It's dark, and cold, and... help... please just any kind words. I already have hotline numbers and stuff... just want to hear from people going through the same thing. :'/ At least that's the one thing the therapist taught me... now I have no shame in asking for help. Just an internet hug... or something...`
{"label": "self-harm"}