teks: It would be the easiest of things.I should have just done it. I had the knife, I had my forearm, I had it against my forearm. So goddamn easy for something that took so long, so difficult all the struggles, all the experiences, everything worthwhile or worthwhile to come. All the friendships and people I have met. My family, how horrifying would it be to see me bleed or bled out on the bathroom floor. I went for the thigh to stave the urges. There is nothing that stopped me but for myself. Why do I do this, why am I? I wish I could leave this world, I wish I could live happily and with meaning and purpose, I know I am supposed to make my purpose, but I have no wants but for the end of suffering for all, I have no needs or direction, I wish there was something in my life that I could use to propel me forward and get motivated, but it all rests on me. I am my fault. But they say it is not your fault, I say it is not my fault, it feels no matter what that it is. That I am just broken as a being. That I am not deserving of anything but for death and pain. No one should have to live with the constant feeling of nothingness. God I wish you were physically real, I wish I believed in you more, I wish I trusted you, but I do not know. I do not know anything. There is nothing that can be known. Damn me to hell and the endless torture, I wish I could find a way through this damn fog of endless silence.
kelaskan text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, bagi dalam JSON {'kelas'}
{"kelas": "self-harm"}