kelaskan teks {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}, teks `How to not be brokenI really need help. I feel like I'm too broken to be fixed and if I can't get better, I shouldn't be here.

Second semester of my freshman year, I was sexually assaulted. First semester, I got into an abusive "relationship" that continued through the assault with a different person. Since then, I haven't been able to function in school. Or only a little bit. I used to be good at school, as long as it didn't involve writing. I also have ADHD, but I don't know if that's why I struggle with writing. I failed a class that semester and did worse in all my other classes. Then I failed an online course over the summer. Then I did very badly in a semester of classes at a local college during a forced stay at home. Then I took a semester off. I worked hard to get my scholarships back (ultimately failing to follow through on an important final step for one of them.) I couldn't afford to go to a different school because I'm not a freshman. I depend on an almost full scholarship to attend school at all. I auditioned for a different department and got in, but not for the concentration I'm interested in. When I got back to school, my mother read my journal in which I detailed explicitly my assault. She doesn't understand or regret what she did to this day, although our relationship somewhat recovered. I was already insecure about not getting into the concentration I wanted, but then I was surrounded by crazy talented people who did get in and it hit hard. I wanted to ultimately study acting, but I wasn't sure I could be good enough. So I proceeded to barely make it to my classes for a semester, take two Is and a W and a very generous B. I was also scared of my roommate.
The next semester I withdrew entirely. During a week that seemed vital, I felt like I had made my partner feel unsafe and panicked and tried to kill myself. It was my first attempt. I went voluntarily, but I was involuntarily held for a week. It was insanely stressful because no one told me what was happening and they lied to us. I'm sorry this is so badly written and rambling. I'm sorry that I'm being so self-pitying. 
This summer, I thought I'd never be able to go back to school. I worked at Walmart and as a hostess at a restaurant at the same time to be able to pay off my credit card. I moved in with my boyfriend. 
This fall, I've been too slow and passive at a lot of things and not worked hard and I don't know how to make myself. I don't own a car but I use my boyfriend's. It's hard to get medications I need. Mostly Adderall, because no antidepressant has done anything for me. 
I'm really depressed this week. I've managed to make it through acting class, but then I performed pretty mediocrely in class and I fell apart. I've been really sad since then. I also have 2 classes I haven't been to in weeks and 1 I'm definitely dropping. I don't know how to pay for this semester because I didn't finish my Is in time to get funding this semester. My boyfriend thinks I'm as hopeless as I do. I'm a piece of shit and I'm not sure I'll change.

I don't want to be one of those people who is basically a mental illness junkie. I see so many people who can't seem to get it together. Maybe because of a lack of resources. But I watched an acquaintance go from a BPD diagnosis to self diagnosing DID. I'm in a support Facebook group, but all I see is a bunch of people who still aren't functional human beings. They work minimum wage or no jobs and they feel like shit all the time. 

This whole post is too rambling to be much of anything, but I'm in pieces and I'd like to know how not to be. I may not have included important information to answering that.`
mencederakan diri sendiri