classify text [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis]

teks: Here we go.Ever since 2007 I feel like my life has completely turned on it's head.
I once felt like things were worth it, I felt like I had things to look forward to in the immediate and distant future. 
Then 2007 came.
I don't know exactly what happened at that point, if it was the departure of my childhood friend or the "end" of the game I've spent a good chunk of my childhood playing with him, the fact that I've changed schools and for a long time I've never found anyone I could share my mind with, who understood me as good as he did, I don't know.
Fast forward to adult life.
I thought getting a job would help, getting good grades in college would help, seeing a therapist would help, but even today, my average day where nothing "really" goes wrong, I feel like complete shit, and that's mild compared to hours thinking about how I could finally end it and if I should take a few people with me, actually planning the whole thing in my head and trying to convince myself to do it, as it is when I'm REALLY down in the shitter.

It's as if everything I've used to like is either dead or bland by now, I'm stuck in the past and no matter how hard I try I can't see "today" in a positive light, its all just alienating and ostracizing.
I feel like I don't fit anywhere, I can ACT like a normal person now, when I talk to co-workers, but deep down inside I just want them to go fuck themselves honestly, and it's not because they're horrible people, it's because I just feel like shit all the time.

Except in a few days, were I'm not horribly depressed but extremely irritable, feeling like I can accomplish anything and trample any obstacle but end up feeling frustratred when I fail and remember that's not how life works, it keeps building up this constant stress that just drains all my energy at the end of the day, resulting in me not even being able to indulge in the few simple pleasures I have left.

Today was kind of a mixture of both, pretty rare, but I have a feeling that by tomorrow I'm gonna be hit by the depressive wave.
I'm not sure how much longer I can hold this, it's eating my strength up day by day and it's slowly building it's own strength as I grow older, no matter how "good" my day goes, if I'm in this mental state it will always be shit.

How do I cope with this? should I go back to the psychiatrist and get back to the drugs? should I continue therapy? go back to regular exercising (even though I don't have the time)?

They told me that getting myself occupied would help but I actually think it's making things worse, I'm constantly around people who don't fit at all with my personality, and I can't connect with them, in fact I keep despising work the more I go to it because of the people there.

Any advice?
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