teks: I just threw away all of my pillsThe dangerous ones, anyway.  Painkillers from various medical adventures, mostly opioids of one kind or another. I'd been stockpiling them to create a "suicide bottle" for myself. 22 of those little pills, plus a couple of anti-nausea pills from when I had kidney stones, plus a bottle of booze (which probably GAVE me the kidney stones, sigh). Shake, pour, swallow, die.

I'm going to lose my job soon. This morning I cried my eyes out as I laid the pills on the counter. Counted them. Went to put them back into the bottle, and instead I swept them into my hand and threw them into the toilet before I could stop myself. 

So now I have no gun, no big knives (I'm scared of blood anyway), nothing sturdy to hang myself from,   no nearby high places to jump from, and no pills that can kill me. I hope this is enough.
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