kelaskan teks [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis], teks `They always said to reach out when I have a plan so I'm trying toI just had 2 brain surgeries the first one was 4 weeks ago and the last one was almost 2 weeks ago. Found out during this time that they cannot cure my Epilepsy and i will have to go on having 10-20 seizures a night while I sleep and continue being perpetually exhausted and a worthless piece of shit draining on everyone's resources and never being able to contribute. I have to have another surgery in a month or so for the deep brain stimulator and I just know it won't work. I already had the vagus nerve stimulator and it didn't and they just took that one out during my last brain surgery to make putting the DBS in easier. My neck and chest incisions are killing me and I think they're getting infected and honestly, I was kinda hoping. Then I wouldn't have to do anything. I have a husband and my son is 11 months old. And I just know if I wasn't here, they would be doing so much better. I have a whole bottle of Norco upstairs in my room that I haven't touched since I've been using edibles for pain since I came home cuz pain meds make me feel like shit. I asked them, or really BEGGED them to not even give them to me because I wasn't planning on using them and it gives me access to meds I can overdose on. But they're here and now I'm in a place where I can't tell anyone that they need to take them from me.  I also keep wishing I would just die of SUDEP already so it wouldn't be my fault and I would go from the bitch who killed herself because she was weak and couldn't bring herself to stay even for her kid and is a horrible mother to the mother and wife lost too soon from the the disease she's been fighting for 15 years. I'm a prime candidate since the risk factors are mid twenties, uncontrolled seizures with a high frequency and seizing while alone and I'm all of the above. But I just can't catch a break. My son's first birthday party is in a week and a half and I don't even know if I can hold on til then. There's just no fucking light at the end of my tunnel`
mencederakan diri sendiri