classify text [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis]

teks: My final thoughtsHey everyone, this post probably will be long one so I can understand how it can be too much of an afford for you to read. I will start by saying that currently I live in a second world country and there is not really any opportunity to make a good living without university degree because without it the average salary is around 250$. I'm currently 17 and live with my mother and crazy alcoholic father who was mentally abusing me since I was a child and physically abusing my mother, actually one of my first memory is me trying to defend my mother from him and getting smashed into the wall but I'm getting off the topic. One of the main issues of my family is that we are in such large tax dept (my father tried to fix things by getting a loan from the bank, but that made the things even worse) that there is not even a point of trying to fix the situation which made my father even more mad and abuse that was usually few times a month now is on weekly bases.  The abuse consist of my father getting drunk beyond any reason and turning the music on speakers (so loud that it drives you insane) usually at night which makes it impossible to sleep and screams how everyone should be grateful to him for everything that he does and how we don't appreciate him enough. We live in flats so our neighbors usually are trying to calm him down and are calling the police but it only makes things much worse. The worst thing in my life right now is knowing that I'm in my final
year of school and I need to study hard to pass my exams and try to get a scholarship but loud music almost every day and abuse doesn't really help. My only chance of getting into university is practically gone as well is my chance of getting a better life, not that i really want one because the last few years ive been seriously thinking about suicide and if post this I've probably decided to finally kill myself. We can't leave him because we live his apartment and if we do we will be practically homeless. Despite that I tried to make my mother leave him but she could't for some reason and the only reason I didn't off myself yet is because of her and making her even more miserable was not my plan but I can't take it any more and the idea of endless peace and quiet is too tempting and even if I go to hell, it's not that bad, because I already live in one.  I'm good looking, fit guy, but I don't really see any reason to continue to live this life of suffering. My hair is a grey from all the stress and I have a decent amount of mental issues. I don't feel joy anymore I lost all my close friends, relatives who really cared about me are dead, movies and TV shows are not entertaining anymore. I wrote all of this at 3 am while my drunk dad screams and blames everything and everyone for his problems so I'm sorry if some of what I wrote doesn't really make any sense because English is not my first language.
All this does not really mean everything, I've wrote this just so that my story and thoughts at this moment could be heard and if any of my remaining friends will find this, this can be an explanation why I've been so weird lately, I don't think that I want to stay alive for any longer (but who knows ) so if you have read all if this, I thank you and I'm grateful for your effort. Goodbye friends, I've hoped that my life will just get better, but it never did.
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