classify text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], text `My first and probably last questionI don’t really believe that explaining how I feel to others will make me feel better. It just makes those who listen/read feel sad. I don’t want anybody to feel sad, and I don’t need sympathy or any other kind of emotional support from others. But I feel now that I should write something to someone before taking my very last decision.
What am I feeling? Extreme despair. Why? For a couple of reasons that might not be so interesting to list here. The point is I lost my hope, I lost my faith, i lost the interest of chasing any goal, I lost my connection with humanity, and I don’t think that there is anything important I can do in this life. The unexplainable part is that I was and still a very successful and mentally strong person. I went through things that can break the strongest  men, I saw examples of men breaking apart from the same experience I had. I had to survive a war as a civilian, travel to two different countries and start from scratch in each of them, all by myself. 
I have done that successfully, but the things that I saw, felt, experienced and thought of, took every kind of hope and belief from me, turning me into a desperate person. It’s important to mention that I’m a very logical person. Spent my life working with computers and programming so you can have an idea how I evaluate and take my decisions. Feelings have no chance to freely take control over me, but unfortunately, this is not the case anymore.
It is almost impossible for others to understand and believe me. When they see me having a decent job, and when they see me doing great in that job they don’t understand why I feel desperate. They see that I have a bright future, they don’t understand that i’m not thinking of the future anymore. The reason why I am keep going with my life and doing great because I am programmed to do so and the moment I stop doing this I declare to myself that this is the end. Now I am thinking seriously that there’s no point of continuing doing this. As it’s not making me feel better, why don’t I just rest forever and say goodbye to this world. This world that I don’t understand anymore, I don’t feel connected to anymore, and I’m not able to live in anymore. Give me a reason to stay fighting! I feel like I’m fighting for nothing, for no one and for no reason.`
self-harm