teks: I'm in so much painSo my wife and I have been having a difficult time for the past few years. We had issues with a few apartments, ended up moving in with a client who had a room for rent and needed overnight care. After he demanded more and more, we had to move in with my mom. That's where we've been for the past 2 years.

Originally she was working a standard job, as was I, and we were doing great. We were helping my mom fix up her place and getting money saved. Slowly her work started to dry up, though, and they weren't trying to keep her up on hours. On top of that, they were hiring brand new people with no experience at higher rates than her, and she had a decade of experience.

She decided to start her own business after the company decided to drop a few of the clients she was working with as they were getting out of a certain area. She picked up a few, and the income was okay to start. She started looking at the future and expanding, but unfortunately that didn't happen. 2 years later, she's looking at downsizing even more, and likely will be getting out of the business entirely.

So for 2 years I paid all of our bills, other than a few. I didn't care, it was about letting her have her dream. I did it for her. I even went out of my way to try to help her with everything that I could. 

The bombshell came when she started saying she wanted to leave, and it might be without me. She had always wanted to leave the state, but this was somewhat sudden. She eventually told me the only thing holding her back from leaving has been that she's worried about me killing myself.

This has sent me into a downward spiral. I'm breaking down constantly. I entertain the thought of suicide constantly. I genuinely keep wondering why I haven't done it yet, but I've been here a lot over the years, and it just never happens.

I'll have been married to her for 6 years here soon, and we've known each other far longer. I can't imagine life without her. I don't know that I'd want that life. I just keep telling myself that she will come around. I want her to tell me we can still be together. I teally want a hug and a kiss and to be told it will all be okay. But I won't get that.

I don't want to die. I want to stop existing. But that isn't feasible. Also I'm sorry if this is poorly formatted, I know that mobile doesn't translate well.
kelaskan text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], bagi dalam JSON {'label'}
{"label": "self-harm"}