classify text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}

teks: Five years and nothing’s gotten betterFive years being sad and I keep holding on hoping maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be the day where everything might get better. But I’ve waited long enough. I really feel as though I can’t fight much longer. I’m out of energy.

I only ever tried to do right by everyone. All my friends I had. Everyone I ever cared for. But it wasn’t enough. They all fade off. I was never important enough to them. Everybody fucking leaves and I get left hurt.

I thought things were gonna be okay because I had good friends I loved being around. But they’re gone now. College is over and most of our group are either moving away to different parts of the country or staying in town to work full-time. They all live too far away from me and I can’t afford to bus.

I thought he might be different. My boyfriend. For a solid few weeks, for the first time ever I had something to really live for. I wasn’t living for tomorrow I was living for today. I was living for him because I couldn’t live for myself, and I thought maybe he could help me live for myself.

But even now, he’s fading away. Wants to have a break and think, because we keep arguing about this stupid incident that happened a while back.

I wish I could rewind time so I never freaked out at that club and ruined the night for everyone. I wish I just hadn’t gone at all. 

But I can’t rewind time and I can’t do anything to fix what happened. I’m powerless. And he’s leaving me all alone. My worst nightmares are coming true and nobody is here to help. I’m truly on my own.

I’m going to spend a little while thinking, and then I’m going to act. Maybe I’ll hurt myself. Or maybe I’ll try kill myself. 

Or maybe I’ll just accept isolation and change myself. Perhaps some people just simply cannot be loved. Perhaps some simply are meant to be alone. 

Perhaps maybe I was mean to be one of them .
self-harm