kelaskan teks {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, teks `I feel like I’m just existing now.I feel like I’m floating in an ocean that doesn’t end and I don’t even know where it began. I feel like if I move, the sharks that are swimming under me will attack. If I stay still, I’ll die. I’m afraid to move and seek help, but I can’t stay still anymore or I’ll shrivel up and die. This isn’t a note. This isn’t the end. Its just a way to express how I feel. Although I feel like I’m close to the end, I’ve felt this before. I’ve gotten through it before. So many times. Too many times to count on both hands. I’m an empty shell of a person, but somewhere in that shell I have yet to grow. 

Fireworks are going off outside. I’m laying in my bed, in the dark, curled up in a ball waiting for them to stop. There are thousands of happy people outside watching the fireworks. They’re cheering. They’re happy. They’re living. I’m inside a dark, desolate space and I feel like I’m drowning. My head is being held underwater and I’m seconds away from letting the water fill my lungs. Once again I’m not going to try anything. I just need to get this out. 

I feel like I’ll never escape this feeling. Sometimes it lasts for days, sometimes weeks, and sometimes months. Sometimes I’m empty for only a few hours. I’m so good at hiding that no one really knows how I’m feeling. Emotions can be read on my face, but expressions change. I don’t think I’ll thrash around and let the sharks get me this time, but I know that I’m close to the end of my time in this limitless expanse. I just hope I make it to shore before I get eaten alive.`
self-harm