classify text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], text `I think I really am the exception to recovery.Where do I start? I want to kill myself. But I really just want the pain to stop. By pain, i mean a lack of normal feeling, and a constant cloud of emptiness following me. 
For the longest time, I always minimized my depression. But now, I think I'm starting to realize that it's a bigger beast than I gave credit to. I think it's more severe, although i cringe to say that since I'm still so used to minimizing my problems. 
I'm starting to feel hopeless because I've already been through so much treatment: medication, psychotherapy, Intensive Outpatient Program, Partial Hospitalization Program, even Inpatient! And **nothing works.** 
I've self-harmed on and off for about 2 years now, i recently relapsed since not even my DBT skills were working. I just feel helpless. Literally, *helpless* like unfixable. And that is where i begin to consider ending my existence. Why live when it takes so much effort to do the simplest of daily tasks? I honestly feel like a burden on everyone in my life, my depression takes my motivation away and my anxiety makes me too afraid to do anything. I'm 2 months away from barely graduating high school, and after that, i have to enter the "real world." I'm terrified. 
I just feel like I have no where else to turn, I don't want to hurt anyone but i just don't know what to do. `
self-harm