classify text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, text `My wife has terminal brain cancerIt's called Glioblastoma. She's 40, I'm 41.  She has a 5% chance of making it the next 5 years.  When the shit hits the fan I'm going to have to watch her die a slow and horrible death as she loses her mental faculties.  This beautiful woman that I have loved since I met 20 years ago is going to die a slow horrible death before my eyes.  We have two kids under 10.  It's been 6 months and she's doing as good as she could be, but I am so fucked up.  Almost every waking moment I think about how she's not going to be here as our kids get older.  How I'm going to be alone.  How I'm going to have to watch her descend into shit.  I can't do it.  I don't want to be here anymore.  I can't do this.  

I already know all the platitudes and the nice things that people are supposed to say to me, I've heard it all by now.  I went to therapy, I'm on antidepressants.  But everyone else gets to go home and not have to deal with this shit.  I don't.  And I can't.  I already threw away a year and a half of sobriety from my alcoholism.  I smoke weed every night to dull the pain of my reality.  I'm pretty sure if someone offered me a syringe full of hard drugs I'd probably say yes.  Fuck you if you say there's a God watching over us, and fuck him too if there is.  I'm somehow supposed to go on with my life and my job, surrounded by people that don't have real problems.  Fuck this.`
self-harm