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teks: The Gift of Life, or the Curse.TLDR If life is ours to live, why can we not choose when it ends.

I was always told as a child that life is precious and every life means something and everyone has the right to choose how they want to live.  This is not true at all, one of the biggest lies of humanity, because if our lives were really ours we could choose how we wanted them to play out, every single thing, including the end.  I am not a good person, I'm an awful human being who has lived his life purely to satisfy his own wants and needs because from a very young age i realized that the only person who will ever look out for you 100% is yourself.  I cut myself off from everyone and became a distant shell of a human being whose only joys come from video games weed and orgasm.  This is the way I live my life from day to day, a series of highs and lows and it is purely because I am weak and I do not see the point of living life with others because no matter how much you care about someone they might be taken from you at any moment.  I don't want to put myself out there because there is nothing remaining in my soul aside from distrust and cynicism as I tend to look for the worst in people to justify my own desire for eternal rest because I just am that incredibly tired of being alive on the road to no where.  I do not wish to compete for a higher quality in life because as a species somewhere along the line we lost our way and ended up on the road to destruction not only of the planet but any real morals or values that society used to hold dear.  And then you have the overbearing idea that this so called "gift" must be accepted as to feel otherwise would be blasphemous and inhuman.  Life is something that no one asked for and which was forced upon us, but at the same time something that every moral in society tells us must be protected.  I do not believe we can have this both ways, you can't tell someone that their life is purely theirs and they have every right to make any decision regarding it, but at the same time shame people who just don't want it.  

If anyone wants to relentlessly torment me to the point I feel like I'm okay with doing it, I would greatly appreciate to read your opinions in the comments. Thank you and have a good night, if anyone even fucking bothers.
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