teks: What do I do?I'm just going to give a synopsis: I am in my high teenage years, a bisexual male. I have a lot of friends in high school, and hold above average grades and plan on going to a prestigious university after high school. But I have been in a terrible depressive down spiral this last week or two and cannot shake the feeling.

My first issue is I think WAY too much into every little action. Of my closest friends, if any of them say pretty much anything that involves me or not, my head construes it to think of some crazy explanation proving they don't care for me. I know they do, but I can't stop putting crazy scenarios of why they could possibly dislike or resent me. This is my second group of friends in as many years, and I really do not want to keep switching around, I am very happy with these people. I just cannot shake the feeling that I annoy them/they dislike me, and my pride keeps telling me to let myself fade away. And be alone. Again.

My second problem is that of all of my friends, I have feelings for one of my closest. Another, larger problem is that he is a (presumably) straight male. I've had a million little crushes on friends, but this one is taking its time to fade away. I know that he doesn't like me (like I said, he's presumably straight) but my stupid subconscious won't let go of the idea that its a possibility. If I say anything though there is a good chance it will hurt the relationship and virtually no possibility that it could improve anything. So the last few weeks I have been walking around with that burden.

My last problem is insomnia. After a large period of time where I used to smoke often and let it help me fall asleep, I stopped. I was fine for a very long time, but the recent stress of a new group of friends and new crush has (understandably) hurt my sleep pattern. However, instead of restless sleeping at night, I have been completely unable to sleep more then 3 hours in a night for at least 3 weeks.

I don't understand. I live a blessed life, I have everything that I could need, but I desperately wish I could react much differently to situations. Never get offended, never get upset, and stay level headed instead of making crazy scenarios over minuscule details. And I wish I could be fully straight.

But I can't, and I feel like I'm running out of options.

Help?
kelaskan text [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], bagi dalam JSON {'kelas'}
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