teks `I regret being born.Ever since I was a kid, I've had dreams...I wanted to be a veterinarian, or a movie star, or an fbi agent. Something exciting and because of that, I've always tried my best to work hard in school. But I could never get good grades. I would cry every time I received a report card because I felt it unfair that kids who bullied me did far better academically and socially. My goals in life were never encouraged. I wasn't even allowed to live an active and healthy lifestyle because my mother was too afraid I'd go out and get into trouble. So I sat inside for years and years. I got used to it. Suffered from a lack of friends too because I wasn't able to engage much with the classmates who didn't hate me. Even throughout highschool I felt I began doing better. I graduated but at 18 I wasn't encouraged to go to college. I wanted to go to a university and work hard. Study, and become the vet I wanted to be or find a new path. But I wasn't allowed to go. Some schools didn't accept me. Mom told me we were too poor. I've been living with her for years and now I'm 23. She's asking me what I want to do with my life..she wants me to move out but I'm scared. I couldn't go to college and get the education I wanted. I can't get a job unless it's through her friends. I have dreams sure but I feel like my weight is the biggest thing holding me back. But like education no matter how hard I try, it all fails in the end. I was just told yesterday that I was on the verge of failing high school. I only passed because my mother and teachers went back and redid my work.... that's the biggest blow to whatever little pride I have left. I want to believe she was lying but I honestly feel too stupid to do anything. I try so hard to take on responsibilities but she constantly tells me that I don't think like an adult. Now I'm worried my lack of schooling or skills will make it hard for me to support myself along with my eating habits. I want to go off into the world but I feel like I'm too stupid to do anything. I still have goals but my whole life I've been lead to believe it's out of my reach. I look at other people and wish I could be them. Sometimes I feel like asking myself why I even bother going on each day. I can't do anything like a normal adult and I couldn't even succeed in school like a normal person. If i am as slow in the head as I've been told then I really just want to drop everything and end it all. I even sometimes wonder if I'd be reborn as someone better. But I'm too scared to take the chance. I don't know what will happen once I'm gone. So I'm too stupid to live and too scared to die. There's even talk of putting me in a nursing home...`, kelaskan teks guna labels {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}
self-harm