kelaskan teks [harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn], bagi dalam bentuk JSON {'label'}, teks `All I can feel nowadays is anger and rage, and I wanna go out taking as many people as possible before dying.This has been happening for years now, and it only gets worse, and the light at the end of the tunnel only gets weaker.

It started to get worse after sometime last year: I live in Pelotas, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil. My state brags and prides itself at their unity and brotherhood, things that nowadays are just empty words. When coming home from my psychologist, passing through the center of the city, I saw a homeless man laying on the floor, his left ear and right cheek with dried blood. He asked me if I could bring him a coffee or something to drink. At first i though it was a skin disease, so didn't thought much. I went to a nearby store and bought some water for him. When I came back to him, he was going to an abandoned couch in an abandoned gas station nearby, limping, holding his belly and moaning in pain every step. He wasn't sick, he was attacked.

We still have public health (although very crappy) in Brazil, so I called the ambulance number and told them the situation. I made the mistake of saying he was a homeless person, so they said that there was another nearby emergency, and they would send help as soon as possible. Every half hour throughout two hours I called them, asking about the ambulance, and the answer was always the same: another nearby emergency, will send help as soon as possible.

Three hours mark, my phone calls stopped being answered: it rang once, then the call was disconnected. I called my mother, so she could call them for extra pressure. Five hour mark, they stopped answering her. She started to call the police instead (there's an emergency number here for each service).

I estimate that, during that time, around 2000-2500 people passed by us, me and the homeless man screaming and crying in pain. 95% of them simply walked like nothing was happening. 5% stopped by curiosity, then kept walking. 0% even bothered to ask what was happening. I decided to post my frustration on Facebook, in all groups possible, to see if someone could help me or tell me what to do. Reactions were evenly split: half of them gave me incentive, encouraged me to to the right thing, but no one asked where we were to help, half said I was a wrongdoer, that all bums are criminals, and by helping one I was a criminal as well, that I should do something more useful to society, like plowing a field.

Six hours later, the ambulance finally arrived, and we went to the hospital. I stayed to give the statement and sign some stuff with my mother. Talking to the doctor, she said that it wasn't the first time he was taken there for being beaten, and not the only one. Early that day, another homeless man asked money to some "college students", and they said that, sadly, they had no money to give, but they could give him some good beating.

A few years prior, during the brief time I was at journalism college, the philosophy teacher used to say something like “Philosophy is about doing the right thing, but what is right? What is wrong? what is good? What is evil? what is moral? what is ethic? No one has an answer for that. So do whatever you want, and have fun! If you end up harming someone, screw them. They will harm you too, so why bother?” I despise that way of thinking, and hated that guy, but it seems that his way of thinking is more popular now than ever.

I was raised to judge people by what they do, not by what they look like or where were they born. Everyone always say to me that this is the right way to be, but now, with the sudden rise of the alt-right around the world, I became a villain, and the reason why the world sucks. My conscience still says I’m right, but when our president defends soldiers who shot 80 times at a civilian car because “there could be criminals there” [https://veja.abril.com.br/politica/exercito-nao-matou-ninguem-afirma-bolsonaro-sobre-morte-de-musico-no-rj/], and the people applaud these soldiers as heroes, I start to doubt my so-called conscience.

Video games have been for the longest time my drug. My way of escaping this shit world and get something that would resemble joy. Lately, in the past two months, not even that I get. If I lose, I get angry for sucking at games. If I win. I get angry because I should have won before. I feel angry simply for playing because I promised myself I would write the book in my head since my 13 years of life (I’m 31 now). But then I feel angry because I look at my ideas and feel that they all suck. And to who will I write to? To the people that applaud murderers, but want different colored people dead because they “might” be criminals? To the people who beat homeless people for fun? To the people who simply enjoy destroying other people’s lives? Why should I do anything for them?

“What do you want to do, then?” people ask me all the time. Well, like the title says, I want to buy a few guns and take out as many people as possible before I die. “But that’s wrong, that’s evil”, everyone says. Well, philosophy seems to disagree.

My conscience still bothers me, but I already have a plan to buy some firearms and execute my plan. So I’ll ask you people: Why shouldn’t I carry out my plan? Why should I care about the life of others, that so eagerly will hurt me for entertainment? What is there left for me to do?`
{"label": "self-harm"}