teks: Scaring myselfI dunno where to start really. I'm 21, 2 beautiful boys, a normal 2.5 year old toddler, and a 7 week old infant with down syndrome. I'm not depressed or suicidal over the fact my infant has DS. in fact I love him that much more because of it. I have the most amazingly supportive boyfriend, family - his side and mine. So why did I have the thought tonight to smother both my kids and then slit my wrists? I've never had thoughts like this before and I've never been so scared in my life. I texted my boyfriend he needs to come home, and he's on his way right now. As for me I'm sitting in the hallway typing this because I don't trust myself near my sons, and I don't trust myself enough to sit in the bathroom, so the hallway it is. I never thought I'd have to worry about postpartum psychosis and yet here I am, debating on if I should have my boyfriend drive me to an institution tonight, or wait and see if it passes or gets worse. 

I've never felt at such a loss than I do now.
kelaskan text {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}
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