teks: Am I even real?I feel so numb to everything. Every positive emotion I have goes flat in a matter of minutes and every negative emotion lingers for the rest of the day. I feel like I’m never really happy, and if I am, it’s for such a short amount of time that it feels as if it never happened. I feel like my emotions are broken. Maybe it’s the medication I’m on, idk. 

I think my boyfriend and I are drifting apart. I’m just not interesting anymore and I have too many problems. I’m too much to deal with and he even admitted it. I hurt so badly all of the time and I try so hard to manage on my own but I guess I rely on him a lot. I don’t want to rely on anyone anymore. I just don’t want to exist.

I don’t even want to violently hurt myself, I just want to passively fade away. Stop eating and drinking and just shrivel up and die. 

I don’t have anything in my life going right and it hurts so badly. Everything always hurts. I don’t see a way out of this, for once. I don’t think there is one. I’m always going to end up feeling numb again. I always do, through every relationship, every job, every school, every job, every therapist, every single change. I’m just always going to be numb. 
kelaskan text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}
self-harm