teks: The only solution I can think of is to die.I'm 13 and have had cluster headaches, aka suicide headaches (lol very haha funny). I've been diagnosed since 6 years old and I've had it for as long as I remember. My cycle is the following:

For about 6 months I have 4-5 headaches as little as 10 minutes and up to 4 hours a night. These usually occur after 7pm and are mostly before 10am. During the day it seems I get very short cluster headaches that last barely a few minutes. These are sprinkled around like fairy dust. Gotta keep things spicy so I don't get any breaks amiright? After that I have approximately a year-long period of one cluster headache at 10am a day. This usually lasts 2-3 hours. I am also bedridden during this time.

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It's been about 2 weeks since the 6 month loop started again and I've broken fingers, toes, peeled off nails, pulled out my hair, bitten holes in my tongue, hit my head hard enough to get a concussion, scratched at my skin (thank you to whoever created hoodies), and clawed at my right eye so much my vision is bad. You might ask the reason why they've suddenly gotten worse. Oh yeah all of my painkillers decided that they didn't want to work anymore. I've tried oxygen, psychedelics like good ole magic mushrooms and lsd, obviously a ton of opioids, and I've gone to an uncountable amount of docs.

So I've sort of made up my mind that I honestly can't deal with this anymore. People constantly underestimate my pain due to my age, tell me that it's all in my head even though I have a diagnosis, and this pain is anything but fake. My own parents tell me that I'm faking it for attention and say the doctors just believe me so they get money. It's such a crazy though but sometimes I honestly believe that I am making it up everything seems so unreal and I don't have anyone to talk to. This condition has made me very depressed. It's also given me so much anxiety every single moment I glance at the time my stomach starts rolling. Waking up happy is impossible knowing that the same thing will happen over and over and over again for the rest of my life. There is no cure for this and I have it even worse than a lot of people with this condition. The majority of people who get this are males in their 40's so I don't have anyone else to talk to.

It's not like I want to die. I actually really like living and theres so much I wanna do. But every single attack I want to kms all over again. So I've finally decided to end this miserable existence. I'm not even old enough to have a legal drink yet. I have friends but none of them can understand what it is that I'm going through.

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Goodbye world!! ayyye
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