teks `Maybe its for the best that I don't live anymore, women don't want me, no family, no friends.I am almost 40, on disability morbidly obese and can't lose weight no matter how hard I try.   I am almost 40, with nothing but a 500 dollar laptop that my neighbor gave me that is falling apart and only worth around 70 if that. a pair of shoes that are falling apart and hurt when I walk in them. about a dozen worn-out socks and a few shirts and pants all black. mostly sweat pants and two pairs of blue jeans and a worn-out wallet that is falling apart on me. 

I am on disability getting less than 800$ USD a month and have no educational background no GED was homeless for over 8 years and have bad teeth because of it. some need fixing and one needs a new crown. I wasn't taught dental hygiene until I became homeless and even then brushing and flossing was the least of my worries. it was more of getting food and trying to survive. 

I spent the past few years trying to get my GED and failed even with tutors and teachers and study groups found out I have learning issues that make it hard for me to get my GED and I basically have to go from the 2nd and 3rd grade to 12th grade in every subject.

I have no family, no friends. I am utterly alone in this world. Bought a car two years ago was my first car and was planning on living in it but got scammed out of 3k. been trying to save again for another car to live in but been unable to. 

Renting a bedroom from an elderly woman with bad health and she is going in for surgery today if she doesn't make it I will be homeless again nowhere to live and unable to survive being homeless this time. My body has arthritis in my lower back, rheumatoid arthritis in my knees and feet. there's days that I just can't get out of bed because of it hurting so badly. there is no way I can survive being on the streets again.

I feel like complete and utter crap especially compared to everyone else and now realizing how worthless I am in life and maybe it is for the best I just don't live anymore. I have nothing in this world to live for other than myself and even then I don't care to do that anymore. nothing in my life will get better. 

I applied for HUD housing and was supposed to move into my own apartment after 7 years of waiting on the list for over 40 hud housing I got accepted to one but I couldn't make it there as I had no money to get there or for first months rent, downpayment, or to have the lights turned on. 

I spent the past ten years trying to better my life but only to get knocked down every time I get up. For example. saved 3 to 4 years up to 3k and bought my first car then got scammed by the dealership. Resaved money up to 900 dollars then needed two teeth pulled which cost 450 each after tax which drained my 900 I had saved last month after almost a year of saving. Then I got called up for my first apartment ever and couldn't get there. 

Two years ago needed eye surgery to remove a cataract in my right eye and now need it done in my left eye but the Dr refuses and now Texas is doing this Real ID stuff where you need a star on your driver license and in order to do that I need an eye exam and I will most likely fail it and lose my driver license because of the cataract in my left eye so there goes the driver license and there goes getting a car to live in. 

Spent years trying to get my GED only to fail it every time I try. spent the past eight years in the dating scene only to get rejected by women over my weight and told I am worthless and have nothing to offer a relationship or just downright mocked at and laughed at over my weight.

I got the cataracts in my eyes from taking Androgel testosterone medication because I have very low testosterone and I am on thyroid meds because my thyroid is basically dead and when they gave the max dose I lost 45 lbs in 8 months with absolutely no changes to my diet or daily routine but then gained it back a year later..

I just literally can't take anymore of this crummy life and to the point of thinking death is a lot better than this and it is better to be dead than keep failing or being knocked down every time I try to do something with my life. 

I also suffer from CPTSD = Complex post traumatic Stress Disorder. I didn't serve just from things I been through in my life and childhood. I also suffer from Severe chronic depression, Severe social anxiety, severe abandonment issues, paranoia and learning issues. I have been diagnosed with them all. 

I have looked up issues with autism and self diagnosing that I may be borderline autistic as I have some of the same issues in that spectrum. I am just so tired of fighting and so tired of going through life like this barely being able to breath and barely being able to survive and have absolutely nothing to show for it.`, kelaskan texts [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis] dan pulangkan dalam bentuk JSON {'kelas'}
{"kelas": "mencederakan diri sendiri"}