classify text {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}, text `Why do you care if a complete stranger wants to die?I am new to this subreddit, but have been dealing with depression for a long time.  It has always been manageable but gradually has gotten more intense and fewer happy moments mixed in over the course of about 22 years (since I was 12).  I used to get hung up on other people, loved people.  I have gradually become completely numb and now am more of a watcher of the world than a participant.

So without rambling too much, I am having difficulty recalling what it is like to care about anyone (including myself).  It's like forgetting a long lost friend's name and face.  I know it was there at one time but it's been so long that I can't even fantasize about being that way again.

I am desperately trying to get better, but slowly drowning.  I want to commit suicide *that is how I feel* although I don't think I am suicidal as I only imagine it now and have no real intentions of following through.  I can't even cry anymore, I am like the little dutch boy and it's my job to stay strong and continue my robotic existence to keep everyone else around me happy.`
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