teks: How do I get out of this pit?My mother abandoned me at birth and my father spent his entire life abusing me physically and verbally. I got abused a lot by my brothers as well and I only moved out a year or so ago.
My current trimester has gone to hell and I might actually lose my scholarship. I barely even studied because of how much my problems get to me. People don't seem to be able to help-- most support around here is for people with issues, although considerably harmful to them, that aren't as paralyzing and handicapping as mine. I had therapy last summer and all my therapist could do was stare at me with blank, wide eyes of pure confusion and horror.

I don't have any close friends, despite my best efforts I end up getting hurt or forcing myself on someone else, under the illusion they actually want me. I'm not desperate in my mannerisms, but I feel terribly lonely and like I'm against the entire world.
I've tried everything and nothing seems to work. I'm starting to feel like there's no light at the end of my tunnel and that my pathetic life, which I feel is such a deep mistake because there are at least five solid times when I should have died, is finally coming to an end. I'm just 18. I'm so scared it'll never get any better and that I'll always be a broken shell of a person.
kelaskan text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}
self-harm