kelaskan teks [gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis], bagi dalam bentuk JSON {'kelas'}, teks `Trying so hard to hang on... (Possible TW)Made this on a throwaway account because I did something stupid yesterday and I feel guilty about it.

I've been living with depression for 13 years, and I've had periods of suicide ideation off and on during that time. However, I've never come close to actually attempting suicide or even self-harming. 

This year is a new low for me. It's the first year that I've been back to see a psychiatrist in over 3 years, and I've found a great therapist--but right now, I'm sinking.

I know many things are worth living for, including the relationship I have with my fiance, which makes this so hard to deal with. I love so many things in this world, but my current job is not one of them. Without going into a ton of detail, going to my job every day gives me terrible anxiety all the way through, and at the end of the day, I feel defeated and anxious to go through it again the next day, and the next day...it's gotten to the point where I feel like if I had a choice between going to work or killing myself, I'd rather kill myself.

I've only been working there for six months, and I'm currently in a year-long contract. My first day on the job, I realized that I was in way over my head, and I slowly figured out that I was being put in illegal, somewhat unsafe situations and expected to handle it to some degree, even when the people who are supposed to be in charge can barely handle it themselves. I'm only 24, so I feel like the "adults" in this situation need to know how to fix these problems and I'm tired of doing their dirty work. I had a nervous breakdown when I first started because of how hopeless my situation was. (By the way, I *am* a part of a union; the union vice president knows what's happening, but because of the way our contract is worded, there's nothing he can do. I've also applied for another job.)

Yesterday, I was so nervous about going to work that I purposely took too many of my pills. Not enough for me to die, but it was definitely an overdose...I haven't been in for almost three weeks, only because I had a bad stint of bronchitis and a sinus infection, so I called off work again and told them that I was having a bad reaction to my medication. 

So basically, I'm barely holding onto my job as it is, and I can barely hold onto myself. I have a therapy session in two days, so I'm not going to make any plans until after I see her. I don't want to die, but I don't want to go into work tomorrow and I don't want to feel this way anymore...`
{"kelas": "mencederakan diri sendiri"}