classify text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}

teks: I was doing so goodThis is a throwaway,  btw. 

On Christmas Day I received wonderful news. I won’t bore you with the whole story but I finally get to change schools.

I was ecstatic for a solid two weeks. Before that, I was highly suicidal, depressed and barely took care of myself. Barely talked to anyone. I had written notes and had seriously planned killing myself multiple times. Told my family I needed a psych ward, was denied it: I was planning on doing it on the 30th. Needless to say it came in at the right time.

I don’t know what happened. I just sunk back into my hole. I’m ashamed. Everyone thought I would be ok. I thought I would be ok. But now, it looks like a great option.  It just happened so fast. I don’t know why I allowed myself to get this bad again. Its like its the only thing I know and the only thing I should know. Is this all there is? I cant imagine myself at my new school anymore. I don’t want to talk about it to anyone I know. Its embarrassing. Cant I be satisfied?
Everything’s numb again.

I’m starting to think I might have bipolar disorder. I’m acting erratic and I’m scaring myself. I wonder if I just wasn’t meant to be here at all.
self-harm