teks: Please help me figure out how to leave a psychologically, verbally, and slightly physically abusive situation that has been going on since I was 11 years old.Reasons I can't leave:

* I can't drive and I don't have a car either.
* I've tried for two years to just get a job, both in my major and minimum wage and escape that way, but it isn't happening.
* I went with another family member and it turned out worse.
* I typically have severe trouble organizing my thoughts well enough to communicate my needs even though I can speak coherent, complex English and I wonder if anybody will even understand this post. I know that I have the ability to take care of myself though, eventually.
* When I was a kid, I started to tell somebody who worked for a social worker and she just talked me out of it by telling me that foster care was worse. But I shouldn't have to be in an abusive situation at all, right?.
* If I try to apply for disability and she knows, I'll have to take even more psychological abuse from her. She would know because she controls the one key to the mailbox
* I can't find any resources to escape specifically for adult male (or even adult) children still psychologically abused by parents.
* The things that I go through are minimized by other people's stories.
* It took a psychiatrist who has thirty years of international experience just to start getting a clue of what type of person my mother really is. My mother is like a virus that keeps trying to turn me against my psychiatrist to where I'll have nobody on my side at all. I've had trouble communicating issues to my psychiatrist because of multiple factors: my trouble communicating, my mother sitting in the next room.
* She once made a lie that I shoved her that sent me to jail for 10 minutes, but I was never prosecuted. There is only an arrest record of just domestic violence (offensive contact). She brags about how she's "the only one in her family who's never went to jail." And who would believe me when I'm male and have an arrest record for DV and she's female, the person who got me arrested, and has no arrest record? So I can't press charges because there's a consistent refusal to protect me without physical proof that goes so far beyond what they needed to arrest her and more because they don't do anything about verbal/psychological abuse. Plus, she's slapped me different times before with her palm, but she knew she could do it because slapping doesn't leave a bruise.
* There's a gaping dent in the wall because I ran against it after I got frustrated from being psychologically overpowered.
* She tries to convince people that I'm the problem (aka her male friends who just want to date her, are like her, or will accept anyone because they're feeling lonely). My problem is that I try not to give up. My problem is that I try to fight back even though I lose the war to try to gain my own freedom and peace and when I fight back, she has no limits and will make threats and say anything to retain emotional control of me. She tries to make it seem like I choose this because she says "Fine, get out." even though it's unreasonable for someone in a civilized area, like myself to just say 'tonight I sleep on the street to avoid her'.
* She has a health insurance plan tied to my name until I reach the age of 26 this October 2013. In addition, she hasn't given me my copy of the medical/dental insurance cards and I'm not sure when/if she will.
* It seems like when she makes all of these threats that we both know that she can go through with them because she thinks nobody will actually ever defend me or help me escape to a safe environment.

Am I going to be okay? I barely sleep at night. I sleep some during the day and I think it's because I feel safer because I know she's at work. I need to get out. I can barely think. I feel so stupid and it must be because I'm mildly developmentally disabled (mild autism) Please help me. There are more reasons I think, but I'm so exhausted from thinking about everything. Please help me. I need your help.

I don't want to be suicidal any more and this is the first step. The first step is leaving. But all I have is like $100. And I need to leave sooner than later. Please don't make me wait any more.
kelaskan text {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}, bagi dalam JSON {'kelas'}
{"kelas": "self-harm"}