teks `Long story short.So, this will be my third attempt at writing something. Maybe it just wasnt meant to be.

So, summary- I am failing at my job, can't provide for my family, and i feel like the only value i have left is the life insurance policy I've kept up on, and the home loan being paid off if I go.

I had a whole rant about what I was doing, how I got into this situation,  why I'm struggling, but in the end, i don't really know how much any of that matters.

To be clear, yes. I've dealt with depression. I'm medicated. That doesnt change the fact that as hard as I try, I'm failing.

I work for a family business, one I quit my former job of 14 years to eventually take over. Except I am terrible at it.

To put it in perspective - the "new guy" we hired three months ago is making more than me, and I've been doing this a year. He was telling me about the new wave runner he bought. Awesome!  And I can't sell enough to feed my kids.

I'm a hard worker - I put a minimum of 10 hours in every day, and usually closer to 14. Except sundays - we get those off. Just being honest. I'm intelligent (at least somewhat) and love being able to help people, but when it comes to salesmanship... I'm fucking terrible.

I'm just floundering and needed somewhere to put it out there, even if it was just the void of the internet.

I don't know what I can do to change it, but if things keep up like this, I at least know I've got the option of knowing that I have ONE way to provide for them. They may not have wave runners, but at least the shelves wont look so damn bare, and they won't have to worry about the roof over their heads.

I hate that I see my existence as a numerical value, but realistically, that's better than what I'm doing now.`, kelaskan teks guna labels {harassment, self-harm, religion insult, sexist, hate, racist, safe for work, psychiatric or mental illness, porn}
self-harm