classify text {gangguan, kebencian, porno, penyakit psikiatri atau mental, sifat perkauman, penghinaan agama, selamat untuk bekerja, mencederakan diri sendiri, seksis}, text `An Asperger misdiagnosis ruined my lifeNote: **I'm not saying any of this as an ableist, nor because I have something against neurodiverse people. I just want to say my experience and how it affected me, and I mean no offense to anybody else, I swear it by God's name.**

Note 2: ** I never had Asperger's, instead, I'm neurotypical, and it was confirmed by a brain scan alongside other medical exams.**

****

I never thought how much that mistake would affect me... As I lost almost everything, and most of the few things I managed to keep were tainted by it as well.

People started to treat me like a child, special needs person or snowflake, they stopped taking me seriously, they stopped reaching out (and they only do when we're face to face or if they have no other choice, but seldom or never if I try to contact them in a different way like texting them).

They talk to me in a cooing like voice, they think I'm cute, they never talk about **"NSFW"** stuff when I'm near, or they say I'm too young for it, they smile at me with forced smiles, and if we talk, most of the time is hello, goodbye, college stuff like homework/group projects or small talk, but nothing else, and when I try to reach out, I'm either left in seen, or they give short answers, trying to leave as soon as they can, or they ignore the message altogether.

That's the main reason I'm suicidal... Before I wasn't, maybe a bit depressed, but now... **I'm living hell every single day.**

I became extremely **paranoid** because of it, as I don't know aside from a few exceptions who truly cares instead of being either pity or an obligation sense... Most of my old high school bullying wounds were opened again, since I traded one hell for another...

I haven't had peace in years, I haven't been able to make new friends in a long time, and I've been losing most of those I still had left, I lost my social skills, I isolated myself, I was shown that I don't matter, that I'm just a person who mostly gets kindness by pity or obligation...

I know others have it far worse than me... But I can't go on like this, I can't withstand this living hell anymore...

Loneliness, pity, regret, indifference, rejection, fake smiles and kindness, pissing people off, making them snap at me or hate me, not being believed by psychologists who think I just need to love myself and ignore everyone else's words, the money I've made my family waste in therapy and pills that never worked...

God, if this reality doesn't change, there's a big chance I won't make it by the end of the decade...`
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