Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying “THUMP”, and then swerve back onto the road.
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?” “I’m going to the church 5 miles down the road,” replied the priest. “No problem, Father! I’ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck.”
The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer.
However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud “THUD”. Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn’t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, “I’m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer.”
“I know”, replied the priest. “Lucky I got him with the door!”
2. Trucker vs. Motorcyclists
Trucker stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in.
One grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker’s coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn’t say a word as he paid the waitress and left.
As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?”
“He’s not much of a driver, either,” the waitress replied. “He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles.”
3. Trucker vs. Hitchhiker Girl
The trucker stopped to picked up the hitchhiker girl in short shorts. “Say, what’s your name, mister? ” she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. “It’s Snow, Roy Snow,” he answered, “and what’s yours? “I’m June, June Hansen,” she said. “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? ” she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. “Can you imagine what it might be like,” he countered with a question of his own, “Having eight inches of Snow in June? ”
4. Trucker vs. Cop
A trucker misses the turn-off before the low bridge and gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car pulls up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck huh?”
The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
5. Trucker vs. Blonde
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says ‘Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.’
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.
As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, ‘Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!’ Shaking his head the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. At the next light the trucker hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, ‘Hi, my name is Kevin, it’s winter in Canada and I’m driving the SALT TRUCK!!!!!!’
6. Truckers vs. Environmentalists
Truckers are getting in trouble with the environmentalists for animal cruelty, because their trucks don’t even go fast enough to kill the bug: it just breaks their little arms and legs.
7. Roadway Trucks With Only One Seat
Why Do Some Roadway Trucks Have Only One Seat? So The Driver Knows Which Side To Get In.
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1. Class A Drivers:
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