The trials and tribulations of an adventurous modern mom
“I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains”. – Anne Frank
The last six months have taught me many things. Painful lessons I didn’t want to learn but had no choice but to endure. A reminder of life’s fleeting moments on this earth and how life can quickly change and turn your world upside down. A realization of the importance of enjoying each and every day and trying to live in the moment instead of the future or past. A reminder of what is most important in life and an incessant urge to hold on as tight as possible to what and who you love without letting go. A loss of oneself and being. In a metaphorical sense, a continual cloudy day.
I’ve been covered by dark, tumultuous clouds for over half a year. Clouds ranging from light and patchy to dark and stormy. The clouds have always been there and blanketed my life in varying degrees of suffocation. The sky was never clear no matter how sunny it was. My mind always somewhat foggy.
I didn’t realize how much my father’s cancer had changed my life until I got the unexpected shocking news last week that it is in remission. And slowly, over the last several days the clouds began to lift. I saw the beauty of life once again.
I began to notice the sunlight shining through my windows each morning again. I began to fall asleep at night. I began to wake up each morning without a sense of unexplainable dread. My mind, my body and my soul reawakened. I was finally me again. The me who I’d missed and thought I’d lost had finally come back. And I am so glad to be back. I missed my happy, energetic self. The person who loves to laugh, to smile, to enjoy life and to love. I didn’t like the person I’d become. The smile turned downwards, the energy soaked away, the constant headaches and need to avoid the things in life I’d always loved.
I’m ready for the clouds to rise and hopefully be able to weather the storm once again if it comes, but this time stronger and wiser than before.