They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress.
My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day. I asked her how she colored it and she said she didn't know what I was talking about.
Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn't afford plane fare.
Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? Because they're always wearing green.
Why don't women want to get engaged on St Patricks Day? 'Cause they don't want to get a "sham rock".
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy.
What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day? St. O'Claus!
What do bullshitters like most about St. Patricks day? The blarney stone!
What's long and green and has a low I.Q.? A St. Patrick's Day Parade.
Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! It counts as a vegetable!