Every weekday, DIY’s new music know-it-all Neu brings you one essential new release to get obsessed with. Today’s Neu Pick comes from Eat Me.
Today’s Neu Pick is a little stranger than most, dear readers. Venn Records signing Eat Me make brilliant, genre-bending rock which veers wildly from corner to corner of the genre’s restrictions.
In the band’s new video for ‘Mumble’ - which we’re sharing first on DIY today - the ridiculousness of the band’s music is successfully transferred onto film, a clip which follows the journey of the HMS Eat Me, which, it unsurprisingly turns out, is in for a wild ride.
To commemorate the release of the video, the band have written us an equally ridiculous short story.
Take a deep breath, read it below, and then watch the brilliant ‘Mumble’ video.
It wasn’t unusual for things to take longer than expected, in fact, it was a kind of intergalactic inside joke that the HMS Eat Me hadn’t met a sonic-delivery deadline in approximately 3.7 megaannum. Of course that might seem like an awfully long time to you or I but in 20017AD cryogenics had come a long way and so most of that time was spent napping.
You could sort of sense that even the ships A.I. brain ‘Jed the head’ had lost hope at this point as it impotently announced the months schedule in a monotone glitch.
“Three units of space rock to Nige & Jan the Stelling Major system by Tuesday. Ollie in the Bristar quadrant needs seven shots of mosh-o-mush the following week and then somehow we have to make it to the Melonian Nebular by Christmas.’
Lance-Corporal L.Ron Bush let out a sigh that sounded like an airlock door. He was sick of not being taken seriously by Sonic Division.
“Guys, can we just, for once; focus on the task at hand. I mean this record is getting silly”.
The redundant hum of a warp-drive wasn’t the resounding battlecry Bush’d hoped for.
“Guys, I wouldn’t mind it so much if we had the goods ready… But every time we actually make an effort to can-up some space rock, Private Jack starts playing Biggie covers on spacedrums and we never accomplish anything.”
Silence echoed through the cockpit. Private Jack stared at his feet. Pilot of the vessel, Cam spun in his chair with a smile.
“Lance-corporal, we do well, considering. My mate Kermo is fitting the gearbox I got from Galactic-Bay tomorrow. So we can even get some Doobiefauna with the leftover maintence budget… We may not always get there in time but we have fun along the way.”
The crew nodded in agreement but the lack of efficiency didn’t sit well with Bush.
This however, is how things usually went on HMS ‘Eat Me’. Outnumbered, Bush and Jed respectively swallowed their anguish and set about the required damage limitation for the upcoming deliveries; formulating some bulletproof excuses to give Commander Lags for when they don’t meet their deadlines.
And so the days passed, the poorly fitted gearbox obviously failed, meaning Nige & Jan received their space rock three days late. By the time the crew got to Bristar Ollie had moved quarters. Once again the crew faced missing their deadline as the Melonian Nebular drifted ever further out of their grasp.
Just then a message came through, incoming coms from Lieutenant Charles Vennman!
“Eat Me, dudes, I’ve received word that yet again you’ve missed the mark. Now usually I wouldn’t bat an eyelid ‘cause you know I like you guys, but the commander is coming down hard on me about this one. So please put down the space-doobie and get your arses to the Melonian Nebular pronto…And whatever you do, DON’T STOP FOR ANYTHING. I don’t want to hear any stories about how Jamie left his keys in the torpedo launcher and Cam shot them at the hallucination of a carnivorous octowhale. I can keep Lags on-side. Just get in, get out and maybe you’ll still have jobs by the end of this”.
“AYE LIEUTENANT VENNMAN!”
The HMS Eat Me put on the afterburners and set course for the Melonian Nebular, determined, unwavering. Pilot Cam turned round in his chair once again and pulled a pair of earphones from his ears.
“Um, guys, what did he say”…