Bravely, I fought the nasal coleslaw, and here’s Part Two. Better late than never…
The How To Needlessly Complicate Your Life Award:
When I decided to go on an extended three-month camping trip during the summer I found out these things:
- Trying to update a daily music blog from a tent is difficult
- Trying to do it from a wooded hillside in Slovenia is really difficult
- Blogging about obscure bedroom-Indie bands from the roadside whilst waiting for the Tour de France peloton is one surefire way to retrospectively question your own sanity
The Damn You, Europop Award:
Arsenium – the man so intent on pissing off all of bloody Europe that he not produced a song of both high-density idiocy and unforgivable catchiness, but also gave himself a ridiculous name to make sure your hatred is tempered by utter bewilderment. Listen to this monster Euro-hit and feel your mind slowly shrivel and wilt. It was sung by 13-year-old schoolgirls everywhere, from France to Croatia. And, like at the harrowing conclusion of 1984, I just gave up and learnt to love it. So will you.
Michael Jackson: The Benefits Of Death
I was in Lekeitio, in Northern Spain, when Michael Jackson died. News hadn’t filtered through to me, and instead I thought that the town was hosting some sort of Jackson fan convention, because all the bars were playing Thriller, and conversations in the otherwise unintelligible Euskara dialect was punctuated with his name. Weird to the very end. But his bizarre, untimely death brought an end to rumour and lawsuits, and brought his music to the fore again. Perhaps that was the only way it could ever happen.
The Against All Normal Urges, Initial Impressions and All Common Sense Award:
Lady Gaga. I was desperate to hate her and her music. And I don’t even like her songs that much. But the chorus from Paparazzi is still stuck in my head, and in a world of Miley Cyruses and Taylor Swifts, her confidence and relentless visual bombardment is so refreshing it hurts.
The Weren’t Your First Two Albums Actually Good? Award:
Kings Of Leon. They’ve already contracted the Bland Death, now let’s hope they contract a disease that reders them unable to produce any more relentlessly dull music.
The Oh, Just Go Away Now Award:
Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, The Jonas Brothers: Oh, just go away now.
Christmas: Enjoy it, one and all. ANBAD is about to mutate into something that looks the same, but better; bigger, yet as facile. More new bands, more comment, more things to click on when you ought to be doing real work. Stay tuned to find out more. I hope you’ll be as excited as I am…