Most of us will experience a breakup at one point or another throughout the course of our lives. It doesn’t matter if it’s a partner, a relative or a friend, nor does it matter whether it was your choice or not – a breakup is painful all round.
Having someone be a part of your life and then not having them at all can often create immense pain, not only in your mind but also your body and certainly your soul.
On the flip side of that, a breakup can also be a catalyst for positive change; it’s a chance to evaluate your life now that this person is no longer part of it, and find out how you can grow and move forward. Turning your attention inward can open the path for healing.
Here are 13 ways to heal spiritually from a breakup:
Holding onto anger and resentment about the past, whether directed at yourself or anyone else, can only keep you stuck in, what is now, a distant memory. When you forgive, you release all negative feeling about a past situation, which leads to mental and spiritual freedom. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are excusing someone’s behaviour, you can find out more about this here.
2. Cherish the Good Times
Relationships tend to be rocky when they are coming to an end and you may have been left with some pretty upsetting memories, but it’s not good to hold onto those final moments. No matter how messy the breakup got, acknowledge the good times you shared, and make this your focus instead of thinking about the bad times.
3. Let Go
While we’ve just covered that it’s good to cherish happy memories, it’s also not good to be stuck in the past. Letting go of the relationship is a tough but crucial process; holding onto it will only cause further suffering in the long run.
It might feel frightening at first but it’s healthy to move on and realise that your life is now different, and this person is no longer a part of it, and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
4. Always Believe Something Remarkable is About to Happen
Breakups are renowned for being depressing and miserable but have you ever considered it’s a choice to feel that way? Why not go against the grain and instead be excited about what is to come?
The thoughts we think create our future, so if you’re feeling very negative, your life will reflect this. Choose to feel good, choose to think good thoughts and always believe that something remarkable is about to happen – the stronger your belief about this, the more you will see remarkable things flowing into your life.
5. Say Affirmations
Following a breakup your self-esteem might be at an all-time-low but there is a way to boost your self-confidence and restore some much-needed self-love.
Affirmations are the thoughts we think and the words we use when describing ourselves – we all say them every day; they determine how much respect we have for ourselves, how we treat ourselves and how much self-love we have. You Can’t Love Until you Love Yourself explores this in detail and explains how you can use affirmations.
6. Take Lessons From Every Experience
Life is like a school – we have the opportunity to learn new things every day. But it is when everything seems to go wrong that the greatest lessons are to be learnt. Beneath each and every one of the difficult experiences you have ever been through, lies a lesson for you to learn – find out what it is and use it to influence the way you do things in the future.
7. Accept Change
The change that we go through following a breakup can be tremendously unsettling and disrupting but it doesn’t have to be. Begin to see change as a good thing; it’s a time to grow and evolve.
Now that this person is no longer in your life, you can decide where you go from here, and you can make and embrace positive change if you choose.
8. Send Them Love
No matter how awful this person was to you, or even how bad you were to them, the most powerful way to create peace in your soul is to send them love. If you notice yourself thinking thoughts of anger, upset and hatred, swap them for thoughts and feelings of compassion.
By choosing to send them love, you are releasing any negative feelings you once had, and are freeing yourself from the negative weight you may have been carrying since the breakup occurred.
9. Be Grateful
We’ve all been there – drowning in self-pity, feeling like our lives have come to an end. A breakup is rough but instead of focusing on what you now haven’t got, focus on what you do have.
We all have things to be grateful for – being alive is one of them, it’s a cliché but it’s true. You might have lost this person in your life but you still have your life. There is plenty to feel thankful for, just look around and find it.
10. Be More Loving to Yourself Than Ever
The last thing anyone needs to be doing following a breakup is beating themselves up; it’s times like these that we need ourselves most.
Show yourself love by being kind to yourself in thoughts, actions and words. Take time out to care for yourself and pay attention to your needs. Your happiness may have been disrupted in the past because you had to compromise for someone else but you don’t need to do that anymore. You have a choice now to do only what is right for you – do what makes you feel good and, most importantly, do what nourishes your soul.
11. Live in the Moment
Living in the past is traumatising, especially after a breakup. The only way we can detach from the past is to live in the moment.
As written about in ‘How to Live in the Present Moment,’ the suffering we experience as a result of our thoughts is often unnecessary; if we focused our attention on the here and now, we would free our minds from the pain of our thoughts.
12. Know That one Thing Always Remains Unchanged
In the face of all change experienced during a breakup, there is something that remains unchanged – your soul. No matter what happens on the exterior, or how different your life might look to how it once was, your soul is always there and it is still the same, with the same compassion, kindness and love that it always had.
13. Reconnect With Your Soul
Reconnecting with your soul will help you to tune in with your true self and regain a sense of wholeness – there are many ways you can do this, some of which are explained in Four Tips for Reconnecting With Your Soul.
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