This extraordinary object is, apparently, a Lalanne hippo (I'm guessing artist Francis Xavier, and not my first thought which was creepy-strong old guy Jack), but the important thing is that it is actually a Transformer that turns not from a truck into a giant robot but from a sculpture of a hippo into a freaking bar. A bar! IT IS A HIPPO THAT TRANSFORMS INTO A BAR.
The very fact that this exists has renewed my will to live for at least a week. It is owned, mais oui, by socialite-fashion person Lauren Santo Domingo, who is very happy to display it on the well-manicured pages of Vogue.com.