Today a helpful animation named Julia taught us about how President Obama's policies will affect women, but we were still so very confused about what we stand to gain if Mitt Romney was elected. Thankfully, cwnewhall showed us a way to find all the answers we need:
When I want to find out what Mittens' opinion is on any given topic, I consult the Magic Romney Ball (calm down Pearl-clutchers, we ain't talking about scrotally-intimate Romney balls).
"What's your position on the Lilly Ledbetter Act?"
ASK AGAIN LATER
"What would you have done regarding taking out Osama Bin Laden?
CANNOT PREDICT NOW
"Do you support a woman's right to choose?"
SIGNS POINT TO YES
"So, you support abortion?"
MY SOURCES SAY NO
"Just a woman's 'choice' to be a stay-at-home mom then?"
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO
"Would you be willing to hire a woman (who isn't your wife) who could better speak to the experiences of the majority of women in this country?"
DON'T COUNT ON IT
"How would you fix the economy?"
REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN
It's amazingly accurate, much like a horoscope.
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