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Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Sunday, 20 May 2012
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
So the holiday came and went but happy to report so did the weight i'd put on ...*smiley face kiss kiss a la davina*
Ive bitten the bullet and joined my local gym, was a bit sceptical at first as the area I live in isnt the best but its a great gym, the machines all have tv's in them(if u like that sort of thing..i'd rather have my tunes), they are well looked after and all the facilities are dead clean.
Ive opted to start going before work so there I am every morning 615 am on the dot in the gym with the golden oldies, meat heads and office workers trying to get their gym on!!
Ive been doing all my stretches and taking care not to overdo it, even managed to run for a few minutes today...my aim is to run 5k non stop by the summer...fingers crossed
So the outlook is super positive!!
Onwards and upwards peeps
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
So I lost 4lbs this week, i'm over the moon and a bit surprised. I had been beating myself up all weekend that i'd done my points wrong but I hadn't!! Sometimes I need to chill out.
My lovely new trainers are completely broken in now, cant wait to start running again properly.
The big test is this weekend ...EASTER!!! Usually my favourite time of year but with being away this weekend im half dreading it, I know I cant control the cooking ***MUST NOT SPAZ OUT***
I really want to hit my 3st target so i'm gonna do the best I can to ensure I do that this week
Over and out chums
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
In the words of Ballotelli "WHY ALWAYS ME"....Seriously though im happy with that as its TOTM and Ive not been able to go out running thanks to a freshly pulled hamstring *note to self stretch properly you daft bint*
I was looking forward to joining the gym but the pennies are still not allowing it so Im pulling my bike out of the bike store and trying that out for a while.
Ive really struggled internally this week with the goal I set myself that I now know I wont hit. Sometimes i put too much pressure on myself. Im currently freaking out as we are away next weekend for Easter and I wont be in control of the cooking or the meals, Im not comfortable with leaving it in someone elses hands for four days. Ive got to somehow let go of this and accept I cant always be in control. Im actually laughing at myself whilst typing this, its completely ridiculous to be like this but im still gonna probably ending up freaking out all week.
The mind is a marvelously messed up thing!
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Another good week, i started jogging and have pulled my hamstring but I wont let it defeat me, I'll join the gym on sunday once Ive rested my leg from the jogging,still going out for long walks though, gotta keep on going.
Id set myself a target of 4st(56 lbs) to lose by 23rd April....im on the right path but im thinking its more likely to be 3.5 stone (49 lbs) I have to be realistic and dont want to push myself too hard only to be disappointed.....any loss is good now i'm definitely in the right mind frame to continue this ever challenging journey.
Inspiration to keep going: David Guetta's new album, Jessie and Amy Mac from the biggest loser tweeting me messages of support(if they can do it so can i),reading all the support i get on minimins and all the stories of others journeys.
SO thats all folks...folk....is anyone reading lol...i think this is more for my own sanity more than anything
Saturday, 17 March 2012
Last time i wrote was last May I was doing so well and it went down hill from there. Flash forward to Jan 1st 2012 hit an all time high of 20 st 6. So Ive been working hard and lost 34 lbs so far im down to 18 st as of Weds March 14th. This time im back at slimming world, just doing it from home and really got back into the swing of things, finances are not great so I cant afford to go to class but its fine, ive found a great support web forum that keeps me up on all the latest info and thousands of recipes and chat with people who are in the same boat.
I finally get to go back to the gym on Wednesday after paying a few things up. Only problem now is all my gym gear is too big lol , i desperately need new sports bras trainers and shorts..ive tried begging to Nike via twitter....I live in hope lol
So for now its time to be at the beginning,my mind set is there,ive reread all my old blogs for some more motivation, just gonna take it one day at a time
Tuesday, 17 May 2011
Well as you can see I had a gain this week, I did ok up until Thursday but it went downhill from then, I went away for the weekend and the choices were limited but I chose all the wrong ones, but hey ya know what I'm human and I was straight back in the gym tonight and got punished by my trainer with a great boxing session, it was hard and painful but a good punishment.
Im home and making dinner and trying to think positive and get some motivation.I'm not lying i'm struggling but I will get there.I really will
Monday, 9 May 2011
I've had 10 days away from the gym thanks to the flu,i've happily maintained as i've not been fit for anything other than sleeping and vegging!!! But it's all good I'm back in the gym today and it killed me and i sweat a tonka truck full but it was so worth it!!
The eating went a bit wayward for a few days but ive settled back into eating strictly again. I thought it would be sad to say I missed fruit but thats a good thing indeed. I'm glad its melon season again (no pun intended!) My taste buds have totally gone off kiwi fruit though, I used to love them but they just taste like smush nowadays.
I remain being the queen of quorn!!! Wish it wasnt so bloody expensive though, I spend a good £10 a week on the stuff if not more. It's ace stuff if you've not tried it i recommend that you do. The meatballs and sausages are my particular fave but with the mince you really cant tell any difference when making a good old spag bol or chilli.
I have precisely a month to lose another 7-10 lbs thats my mini target for Katies bday bash, i'd like some new jeans!!!
I think I will be tested this weekend again, I'm off to carlisle to radio ones big weekend, giving it large with all the cool kids and perving on Jessie J, fergie from BEP and Ellie Goulding...def NOT scherzinger though uggghh. Anyway I digress, going to look for some nice places to eat so I can attempt to pre plan my meals. Planning is definitely the way forward. I wish I had someone to do all my meals for me everyday and just put the food infront of me then i'd never eat bad again, when i'm left to my own devices i tend to stray from time to time,but I'm getting better at it :)
Well thats all for this week kids, wish me luck for my next week ahead
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
26/04/11 17st 4lb - maintained 35 lb loss
Firstly I am thankful for my 35lb loss that helped my fat ass run through Euston Yesterday to get an early train without wanting to collapse and die!!
This week I am also thankful for my self control. It was a tough weekend but I made smart choices, yes I had a tiny piece of chocolate and the insides of a pasty (katie had the pastry) and some crisps and bread but I balanced it off with walking into the next town up the steep hills, it was quite the exercise I tell you. I recommend you all move to St Austell and attack them hills surrounded by beautiful scenery.
I struggled a bit on Easter Sunday I felt guilty for what I'd eaten and was really snappy so decided to take the long walk and clear my head, i just thought its ok im doing great and look i'm out doing something about it, it's ok to have the odd day off.
I would also like to thank my new cardio playlist for kicking my ass and keeping me motivated:
ADAM LAMBERT - FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
BLACK EYED PEAS - BOOM BOOM POW
BRITNEY SPEARS- BIG FAT BASS FT WILL.I.AM
LMFAO-PARTY ROCK ANTHEM
TINIE TEMPAH-SIMPLY UNSTOPPABLE
JLO-LETS GET LOUD-
JLO-ON THE FLOOR
JESSIE J-PRICE TAG
PARAMORE- MISERY BUSINESS
DAVID GUETTA FT KELLY ROWLAND- WHEN LOVE TAKES OVER
KIMBERLY WYATT-NOT JUST A DOLL
BRITNEY SPEARS- TILL THE WORLD ENDS
im always trying to find extra motivation and new tiny goals and my new one is June 10th. Its my ladies birthday and I want to be down into the next dress size for that for sure,celebrate in style.
Well anyway hope you have a good week, all eight of you..including the random in Jordan who is reading...reveal yourselves, leave me a comment.
Monday, 18 April 2011
18/04/11 17 st 4lb 3 lb loss this week 35 in total
for someone who deals with numbers everyday i cant add up properly lol. When i first started this journey I was 19 st 10 so thats 2 st 7 now = 35 pounds
On this little journey this time I was 18st st 11 lb so now im 1 st 7lb or 21 pounds if you will
Ok thats clear in my mind now sorry guys!!
So anyways first tip of the day, really do weigh yourself at the same time every week(or however often you weigh yourself) your weight fluctuates in the day. I'm feeling very happy with my weight progress now its been 1st 7 in what 5 weigh ins now and thats really good process that averages at 4.2 pounds a week - way more than the average weight loss which is 1-2 pounds a week. My gym sessions are getting better and im slowly increasing my intensity, which im allowed to now as the hamstrings are getting stronger. In just over 3 weeks I can start jogging agin and i'm so excited...how sad I know but I know that I drop weight so much better when I run.
My eating is so much better but I know I have a hurdle this week. I'm going to my mums for Easter. Its so hard to control what you can eat and to say no. My mum makes the most lavish easter lunches and I just didnt want to upset her by saying no to the food, but I have to stay on track I dont want to step backward. So i just bit the bullet and called her and she was great about it, I over worry sometimes. I just now how bad the temptations will be especially with it being easter, a chocoholics heaven. But I'm determined to stay on track.
It IS hard, its still a daily battle but I am get there and I am determined to carry on, just cant wait until I can start seeing a drastic difference, going down another dress size and being able to once again shop in any shop.
Monday, 11 April 2011
I Guess its another off but im not happy, today has been a really hard down day for me. I still managed to drag myself to the gym when in all honestly all i wanted to do was come home cry and eat pizza. I know ive lost 1 st 4 in 4 weeks but thats not good enough for me, i know i can do better. a pound a week is failure for me, just need to be more focused and well less stressed to be fair, but im being tested at work and im trying not to let it effect me too much.
Had to cut my exercise right down because of my hamstrings but the good news on that front is they are doing much better and im swimming too now and not hitting the gym 4 consecutive days i'm breaking it up and giving my body a rest, ive not been able to exercise at the intensity i would like to because its hurt too much so i guess thats why ive slowed right down too
i dont know its just a bad day i feel really emotional and down and would like the world to swallow me up quite frankly
Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mould , yeah!
The more I try the less it's working yeah yeah yeah
Cause everything inside me screams, "no,no,no,no..."
Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!
Monday, 4 April 2011
April 4th 2011, 17 st 8 -1lb this week -30 in total
Ladies will appreciate when I say its star week so a pound off is pretty damn good, got a new cardio list to keep me going in the gym (muchas gracias bella JLO!!!). Although i think i slightly confused the muslim ladies dressed head to toe on the treadmill when i rocked in sporting my new ubershort hair,sleeveless tshirt and basketball shorts...if you didnt know i was gay before you will now lol
been looking through my slimming world recipes and found loads of new food to eat which is good as i end up eating all the same things and then get soooo bored. My confidence is creeping up each day although i still hate the way i look, but hey we all have our hang ups dont we and well i guess a positive to take is that im working very hard to be a better healthier me.
so more gym session,new recipes and the impending arrival of my wonderful lady (shes movs here in june) i think im gheading to a good place and I like that.
Monday, 28 March 2011
So here we are another week along and another loss, its been pretty hard this week, I'm brutally honest as many of you will know, i have changed from eating really bad bad unhealthy food in the skip load, to lots and lots of healthier food,I'm a big eater and i dont think that will change.
I was tested so bad this weekend, i was home and bored and my housemate had bakes loads of indian snacks...pakoras,bhajis,samosas...anyone who knows me knows thats like crack to me!!! No one was in the house and they were just staring at me and i reached towards them and shouted at myself, GARSIDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? i reached into the fridge and grabbed a yoghurt and another drink. That was a proud moment for me,I'm trying step by stepto better my life again and get back on track. And slowly i'm doing that I've still got a long way to go I know this but you know i'm gonna do it.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Breakfast has been the key, and as much as i detest the stuff oatmeal is my new best friend, 1 lil sachet with some milk and it sets me off for the day.
So today I was at the docs for my sinuses which have been driving me crazy and i popped on the scales and it was 17st 13 I want to rejoice and think yay ive lost 12 lb but part of me thinks the gym scales were just so wrong in the first place, not that i doubt my hard work just don't know if my loss is that big. Guess i'll just wait till the gym scales are fixed and try again there, they wil be my constant weighing source, cant exactly pop into the docs every week can i??
So yes progression in so many ways this week...onwards and onwards I go!!
Monday, 14 March 2011
I reached out this weekend to my friends and my girlfriend, i'm at that point where I'm so desperately unhappy and need to undo AGAIN everything i've done so wrong.
Remember all these blogs last year when i kicked ass and did so well....gone to waste... i've been working so much and stressing about that i've ate and ate and ate and not taken care of myself, no one bit of exercise and now i'm back to square one...too afraid to weigh myself...too scared to face the truth,face the numbers.
I went to watch a friend play hockey this weekend, it was my sport when i was younger and i was itching to get on the field and get stuck in, but i cant , i cant even go to the gym because i'm so ashamed and embarrassed i dont want everyone looking at me seeing how badly i've failed.
But I made a pact and i'm going to do it it, i want to do it and i need to face my fears otherwise i'm just going to fall deeper and deeper. No more baking cakes to make myself feel better, no more secret eating or trying to hide behind my jokes and smiles because i'm not happy, i'm miserable and I dont want to be this way anymore.
i want my life back
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
WOW its been a while since I've been on here and well as you can see my numbers have gone up instead of down it's been a tough few months to the point I ended up having a mini nervous breakdown and nearly did something very very stupid but luckily a very special person helped me get help and now months later I'm the new improved Emma and dealing with things in a healthier way. Its been really emotional and at times it felt impossible but to go through all that and come out the other side is great.I've had great support from friends family and my amazing girlfriend.
I'm back in the gym and its not feeling like a chore. I'm doing 45 minutes cardio and a 10 minute stretch session and upping the intensity each day. I'm eating really well, I am strict mon - fri saturday is a less strict day and sunday is back into it. I've re read all my blogs and its giving me that little extra push. I know some people probably think why do I put my heart and thoughts down on here for the world to see, well I guess it's therapy for me and keeps me on track and keeps me motivated to try harder but also if just one person who reads this and gets inspired then that makes me happy.
I'm proud of my achievements and i'm so ashamed i've slipped back a little but you know i'm only human and i'm doing my best to get back on track and keep on my path to reach my goal.
see you same time same place next week
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Extremely happy right now that milestone has finally gone!! GET IN!! getting back down to business has been tough, went to leeds festival and ate a lot of noodles and rice and rice crackers going to go to the gym tomorrow to get back into the swing of things.
Feeling a lot more positive about being back on track and taking care of myself, i think sometimes that's half the battle really.
this is short and sweet just like me lol
Friday, 20 August 2010
Back on track my lovelies, I have this new focus right now, really taking care of myself and getting to the root of why I do some of the things i do including my eating habits, think thats gonna really help me a lot.
I ran a 5k last sunday...ok walked 1k ran 4 i did it in 39.19 ,not the best time in the world but not too bad considering the old hammy injury. Cant wait to get that time down.
Oh and yes a size 16 jacket was bought this week. It really made me so happy and i'm just relishing getting the weight down even further.
50 lbs......thats a small child or a victoria beckham and as she would say that;s major!!!!
Friday, 13 August 2010
16st 7 lbs – 3 lb gain since last weigh in whenever the hell that was!
Ok so its some kind of miracle that ive only put three pounds on because I’ve ate bad, can’t blame anyone but me, I’ve had no desire to eat well or exercise or anything else, and ive found myself just eating rubbish because I’ve had nothing else to do.
Routine clearly keeps me on track so its time to build that routine back. Nothing like a swift kick in the pants to get you motivated…all I’m saying is all the single ladies all the single ladies. Ive sounded like a broken record the last few blogs and I’ve just let myself down so majorly from doing so well to being so so bad, I’m luckily my gain wasn’t much worse. BUT I’ve got a bike now and let me tell you its getting used to the max, I’m even gonna ride to work too.
I’ve took on a second job so that will keep me occupied…one slight problem I’m selling pies at old trafford, so its gonna be torture to the max, they give you a snack pack with crisps chocolate and a sandwich, im just gonna eat before the games me thinks.
Ive got my 5k on Sunday so hopefully I finish in a half decent time and don’t do too much damage to my hamstring, I’m gonna stretch so good before it.
Everyone keeps saying I need to look at how well I’ve done but I still feel like a failure as Ive been in 16st for so many months, I need to focus and get into the 15’s quick smart, I’m dying to be in size 16 clothes. Only one way it’s gonna get done…Em’s going hardcore
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
Woohooo back to the lightest ive been in years in the words of that fat ass ronald mcdonald...i'm lovin it!!
Tomorrow I’m 32, this time last year I was over 3st heavier…what an achievement hey! This weeks not been too bad done some gym sessions and spent the weekend volunteering at race for life events unloading vans, carrying tables and generally running around like a mad woman, it was great fun but I was exhausted (and sunburned) by Sunday night.
I have such a sweet tooth at the moment, I’m tricking it with mints instead of the usual chocolate cravings, its been much easier cooking because of the weather, I know I’m definitely back on track as I made four batches of shortbread and didn’t even want a piece. I’m forcing myself to eat breakfast now and bran flakes aren’t half as bad as I remembered although I prefer them with yoghurt rather than milk. I’m hoping to get down to my mini target in the next few weeks, I really want to be down into the next stone and hopefully it means a new dress size, I cant remember the last time I could buy a size 16 its been a good wow maybe 3 or 4 years.
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
First of all i apologise to myself for letting me down and being weak and not sticking to the diet, secondly I apologise to all 6 of you who read this if you ever find a little inspiration from reading this, i've let you down too.
Ive been slacking a lot and ate really bad but have been back on track and lost 2 this week....i'd put 6 pounds on how bad is that? i've just pictured my heroine Sue Sylvester shouting at me through the mega phone and thats got me on track, plus I re read all my blogs this week and thats made me realise how hard i've been working the past 6 months and how pathetic it is to give it up for a pizza or chinese or doritos.
I have a lovely new girlfriend whos keeping me on my toes, she's at the gym too now and has lost 2 st since we've been seeing each other, it's lovely to have someone who's going through this with me. Plus I have my ace trainer Kelly whos been wicked and keeps being enthusiastic even when I've not been.
WARNING WARNING: if you're in the stretford area over the summer and don't wish to be drowned by a whale steer clear from stretford leisure centre because the Gside is hittin the pool!! Feeling slightly nervous of how my rotund physique will be stared at in the pool but hey i'm there to get in shape not be in a pagent.
That's alllllll folks!!
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!! I lost the 2 I put on plus one extra for good luck, I'm loving that.
No real words of wisdom this week kiddos I'm in pain picked up a bit of a bug so feeling all achey and crap. Ive rediscovered my love for Skinny Cow Ice cream i forgot how low fat they were so that will be a lil treat for me every now and then.
I've been volunteering at race for life events and its made me realise you have to grab life with both hands and go for what you want, and thats why I'm staying on this path to getting healthier and physically fit. I truly want to be in shape and give my body a fighting chance.
The physio is going good, it still hurts really bad but i know im getting better because im allowed to attempt light jogging, and i can move without wincing in pain anymore, the man has magic hands (no smutty comments please)
So thats my update I hope you're all doing well ladies and gents
see you next week!!
Monday, 7 June 2010
I have a confession, i'm a slut!! Ive been cheating on gym with bread chocolate and ice cream!!
So its not been the best few weeks really, I haven’t ate particularly great, mixture of stress and sheer laziness, being out my proper gym routine is really not helping, I’d got so used to my routine and now it’s all out of whack…..uggggh MUST…..DO…..BETTER!!
My physio is going really well and I can exercise again lightly so gotta love that I guess, I’m sorry I’m not feeling very motivational right now, pretty much dreaded the scales this week but I know I can undo what I’ve done and I must stay on track because I’ve still got such a long way to go yet. Someone give me butt kicking please!!!
Monday, 24 May 2010
Whoever said no pain no go gain is a complete bastard......just sayin!!
So the endless cycle of not being able to train and being in pain is killing me, i'm a royal snappy stroppy bitch at the moment. I saw my physio on wednesday and for all you men loving ladies out there you'd LOVE him....but picture this...I being of the gay told to strip down to my underwear by this toned god like male creature and them him stretching and bending me in positons worthy of the karma sutra and THEN massaging my back (ok fine) my Legs (ok) My thighs and hamstrings (feeling a liiiitle uncomfortable) AND ....my ARSE (ok very mortifying!!)
So it turns out my pulled hamstring is an effect of my back problem!! I slipped a disc on 2002 and have always had these twinges and my new found weight loss and working out way too much caused my arse to compensate for my back and so did my hammy ergo the hamstring is dead!!! I've still not decided to take the following as a compliment or as a bad thing....i have the tightest glutes he'd seen in years....yes my bum muscles were that tight he had to spend a lot of time there, i have the fingers shaped bruises on it to proove that and also all down my legs. JOYFUL!!
Ladies let this be a lesson to you. DO NOT OVER DO IT IN THE GYM! .......well not unless you want to spend ridiculous amounts on the god dude massaging you....actuallly you'll probably enjoy that....go pull a muscle or two and I'll see you next week!!
Monday, 17 May 2010
May 17th 16st 6lbs - 3st 4lbs /46 lbs
Another painful week, still no proper gym sessions for me,the hamstring is knackered,another 4 weeks of resting it and sports massages that will hurt before they help....oooohh can't wait ....NOT!!! But it's all good because I'm still eating really healthy and the weight loss proves that. I'm a little surprised I thought it may slow down but it probably will next week I guess.
Major fashion news!!! (oh no she di'int...oh yes i did!) I'm shopping in any shop for a size 18! That is AMAZING!! I did a happy dance around M&S, this means H&M and River Island....just not just yet,pointless as I'm still losing weight spending all that money on those clothes.
I'm on track to get my mini target which is down to 16st by the end of june. I've got dory in my head saying just keep slimming just keep slimming.
Still looking for a gym buddy, i think my butchness scares the girls in the gym away lol ,if you;re from my gym and reading this say hi next time you see me.
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Lost another pound this week which i'm extremely happy about, what i've been very pissy about is not being able to go to the gym, word of advice....when your trainer tells you to rest properly,do it! Don't think you're a premiership footballer that heals in 5 days,you're stil 16st odd and NOT in any shape like a footballer....oh and the magic sponge didnt work either!!
So ive now been away from the gym for a further week,my mood is shall we say less than perky! Had to do lots of ice and heat on it and fab jane fonda esque stretches.
Finally managed to comfortably be in my new work trousers and bought medium size polo shirts, the last time i saw medium was when I bought a warbies white loaf!!
Oh I have to say this:
hej grith!! tak for at læse min blog ....yes thats right bitches I have foreign blog subscribers....ok its just my danish friend who lives about 5 mins away from me but I'm taking that as in international subscriber!!
Monday, 3 May 2010
Monday May 3rd 16st 10 lbs 3St/42 lbs lost!!!
Thats another milestone done and I'm really happy about it, i'm quite surprised actually as Ive not been to the gym due to pulling my hamstring....oh my god that is possibly the worst pain I've ever experienced, worse than any tattoo or piercing or watching Jedward performances on X factor. So its been ice stretches and resting, I've been a royal bitch all week as I had 4 days rest from the gym.
Swicthed up my food again, a few more carbs added with my dinner just a few potatoes or some pasta, different fruits (welcome back kiwis I did miss you! and sorry Mango i still call you mingo). I was asked to write a recommendation for my trainer for the gyms website which I happily did and not only did it make me realise how bloody well im doing but also how much Kelly really pushes me, I know I mention her a lot but she really pushes me through and keeps me going and if any stretford leisure women are reading this she's worth every single penny so book in some sessions with her ....oh and Hi too thanks for reading my blog!!
I get to slowly introduce running back this week,got to be careful not to over do it and cause more damage, but im really impatient and im on a roll, but i might not do so well next week as I lost big this week plus its star week. Oh joy!
Well thats it peeps, i'm not even sure if anyones reading this so I might just be talking to myself, first sign of madness!!! WONDERFUL!!
Monday, 26 April 2010
This is my biggest loser moment where I reveal that not only I have I lost 2 st 10 I have lost 13% of me!!! 13%
Sometimes when it gets really hard i need to remember these numbers and remember how well I'm doing.
So tonight my trainer put me on the gym new fitness test , i had 35 mins to do 1km run, 1.3 km cross trainer, 1.4 km cycling, 1400 m rowing and 20 press ups, i did it in 31.29 seconds!!!! Loving it!! Kelly looked genuinely proud that felt really good, she really supports me and pushes me and as much as I call her Hitler she's actually bloody brilliant and pushes me when I lose all will to continue .
Ive changed up my food a lot and thats really helped, still no Gordon Ramsey but it's nice food. Still waiting for some nice sports company to stumble across my blog and give me free sports bras and attractive lycra shorts...do you realise how much these things bloody cost??? Its ridiculous!!!!
Monday, 19 April 2010
This is actually really good because I didnt work so well at the beginning of the week, i was too physically tired to train properly and then I didnt eat well on wednesday. I did make the fatal mistake of weighing myself wednesday but kind of glad i did because id put the 4 lbs on I'd lost last week,gave me a kick up the arse to do better!!
So this week I have mostly learned that, carbs are not my friend, I can run 35 minutes without dying of a heart attack and i most definitely need a new sports bra to keep my badboys strapped to my chest, I actually detest bra shopping, i'm not a fan of having to get measured, dont like anyone touching my boobs apart from the lady i'm dating, plus i don't want to be told that each breast i sstill this size of a small childs head, i know this is true as my nephew was using one of my bras as a hat the other day...not mortifying in the slightest,honestly.
Also learned my finances are not good so I have to cut my training session with hitler...i mean Kelly down to once a month. Really gutted, but it's either eat or train and as much as losing weight rapidly appeals to me I better do it the healthy way.
Cracked open my mate nics recipe book she gave me, its been a complete godsend and im not eating the same thing all the time now, and yeah I think I'm gordon ramsey but I'm really not in the slightest, I could burn a salad.
Monday, 12 April 2010
Monday April 12th: 17 st 2 lbs .... 2 st 8 / 36 pounds gone!!!
My name is Emma...and i'm a loser and so proud!!! The weight loss is going super de duper and ive had to by smaller clothes, they didnt appreciate my baggy hammer pants at work, how rude!! You know what else is rude? My monthly outgoings...I'm having to cut down on my training sessions with my fab trainer because, well otherwise I cant afford to eat!, I tried to juggle somethings around but food has to win, i know i wanna lose weight but I dont think starvation is the way to do it do you ?
Ive been working hard on the new training programs and increasing my running, in my mind i'm paula radcliffe, except i dont nod my head when i run or pee in the street...dirty bitch!! My ipod is my sanity in there and well my distraction from shouting at people who dont use the machines properly, i think im turning into a grumpy old woman but some people in the gym really annoy me grrrrr
Easter came and went and i had to resort to sniffing an easter egg seen as i couldnt eat the bugger!! i like my hardcore ways, its all or nothing and well if I want to get to my summer target Ive gotta step it up a gear.
Monday, 5 April 2010
Monday April 5th
Weight: Well i'm not sure
The weighing machine I usually use wasn't working n the gym so i went on the regular scales and according to them i'm 17st 6 Lbs so thats one off so i'll take that for now, just hope they're working again next week so I can weigh properly.
Its been a good week, I was off work Thursday and Friday so missed my usual 9 floors of stairs but I did have a training session and the new work out programs are killer, I'm actually full on running at 9.8, thats probably not fast to some of you runners out there but to me thats pretty much like olympic standard right now and I'm going for gold.
Went to London at the weekend was as strict as I could be for some meals then had noodles for dinner with prawns and veggies for dinner one night and then chilli and rice for lunch but still kept up with all the fruit and ryvitas and water.
I got such a funny look of the women at the cinema when i refused her creme eggs she was offering me. I just thought listen lady because I'm big doesn't automatically want your chocolatey goodness. Easter bloody sucks, ususally i'd be tucking into atleast a dozen easter eggs but nope not this year.
Highlight of the week was trying to find an outfit to go out in last night only to discover only 1 pair of jeans pass as still wearable as the others are just way too big, i did not want to do the baggy jeans round my arse thing, it's so not a good look lol! I've finally got used to the just drinking water when I'm out in a bar, not even tempted by the alcohol anymore, still had an amazing night with my friends, I did my non dance dance of nodding my head and trying to look cool, really don't think it worked though.
if anyone knows anyone getting rid of any size 18 clothes please can they throw them in my direction, really cant afford a whole new wardrobe yet
And finally in other news..... Sue Sylvester is keeping me going in the gym, everytime I think about failing there she is shouting in my ear with that megaphone........Being fat is not a disease its a disgrace.....and that's how sue c's it!!
Monday, 29 March 2010
Monday March 29th:17 st 7 lbs
That's right I'm back once again with the renegade master....or in other words I'm back on track. I lost 5 pounds this week, Thats 1 for the gain last week and and extra 4 for the hell of it. Total weight loss so far 31 lbs or 2st 3 lbs in english money.
It feels like one of these moments right now ........ GET INNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! Felling fabuloso again happy to report I'm doing well, I didnt kill anyone with my caffeine withdrawals although I think they're sick of hearing me say I want a coffee. I cut down to one banana a day instead of two and no fizzy drinks at all, plus the 18 flights/9 floos of stairs up and down are helping along with the gym work outs.
big test this weekend was watching my housemate run around a foootie pitch with a bunch of lesbians and watching them tuck into chips pizza sandwiches and sausage rolls after......TORTURE??? erm YES!!! The food part not the football part!
My trainer made me smile during one of my session instead of my usual secret desire to kill her for the pain she puts me through an hour every Saturday. She walked past me in the gym cos she didn't recognise me, apparently my shape has changed,yahoo!!
So I'm off to London on Friday but I'm not ruining all my hard work, hell no, I've worked way too hard, I'm not drinking and i'm gonna eat as sensible as possible, would really like to lose 3 pounds or more next week.
Off to Asda now to buy up heir quorn,ryvita mini and veggie supplies.
Till next time
Thursday, 25 March 2010
You know your past eating habits were bad when Pizza hut text you to remind you you've not ordered in a while.....i must have really hurt them financially,i hope no one lost their jobs because I decided to take care of myself.
It's been a good week so far,back to full running again and managed to do two full treadmill session without my knee strap on (insert smutty lesbian joke here). My bestie got me an ace cooking book and she showed me how to make quick sauces for stir fry and pasta for after my gym sessions. Love you Nic x Having a chef for a bestie ROCKS!
So I decided to start taking the stairs instead of the lift in the mornings and evenings, we're on the 9th floor. Monday 3, Tuesday 4, wednesday 5, today 9!! I managed to crawl to my desk and die after doing 9 floors. Its a big IN YO FACE to the lazy bitch who get's the lift to the FIRST FLOOR!!! How lazy is that? Even when I was much bigger I could still manage one floor.
Looking forward to my training session this week,must apologise to Kelly for kicking her in the face last week, totally accidental I promise, I don't dislike our sessions that much, my co ordination is just that bad.
Monday, 22 March 2010
Today is a learning curve, I put on a pound, I don't know how but I did. Ive eaten all the right foods and exercised all week. It wasn't helped by the fact my wonderful lovely trainer says no more caffeine, I've been a bitch all day to anyone within a three mile radius of me, and if you're one of the unfortunate ones I was rude to I'm really sorry I didn't mean it!
This is a journey and there are many destinations along the way, todays destination is perseverance,determination and will power. As much as I wanted to to cry and go scoff my face with a whole bunch of donuts and a pizza, I got back on the treadmill, i did my bike session and i even kicked ass on the torturous Cross trainer twice.......WHY? Because I want to win this battle that's why.
I'm sick of being a big fat lesbian who wears blokes clothes because i feel more comfortable in them, I wanna have a hot bod and feel amazing.So that's what I'm gonna do. Keri Hilson sings when love knocks you down just get back up when it knocks you down....well I am my new love and today I knocked myself down but I'm up again and carrying onwards and upwards.
Its really weird because last week I felt thinner and felt good but now I just feel as big as I did the day I started this whole journey. Isn't it mad how your mind does that to you?
Sorry for being so down today kids....normal service will resume next week.!!
Saturday, 20 March 2010
One thing I will make very clear is i'm my own worst critic, I have no one to blame but myself for getting into this physical state I was in and it had to take my own self belief to kick start my fat ass into gear.
On a lighter note, because that was getting waaaaaaay too serious, I got my arse handed to me on a plate by my trainer today who by the way will be reading this, Hi Kelly, and yes I stick to my original statements you're like hitler or a real bad ass seargent major...but if you weren't i wouldn't be doing as well. Today involved a lot of stretching and step work, i think i have the hips of an old lady as they were killing so much, i should listen to them because as the great shakira says the hips don't lie! Maybe I just need a new mattress on my bed,it's not the best.
Something really weird has happened to me, I think I'm Forrest Gump, I want to run EVERYWHERE, to the gym from the gym, to the shops.This madness has to stop. Exercise has done something very funny to me. I used to laugh at the great Elle Woods when she says exercise produces endorphins and endorphins make you happy (well legally blonde IS really funny anyways) and she's right they do.
Looking forward to getting weighed on Monday now, I like seeing those numbers fall.
Friday, 19 March 2010
Confessions of a foodaholic – aged 31 and 2 quarters
I love food I’m not kidding I could eat morning noon and night and well that’s exactly what I’ve spent the last few years doing. I spent 18 months slimming and getting myself into amazing shape to throw all the good work away on beer, vodka red bulls, curry,pizzas..you name it I’ve consumed it!
After spending most of 2008 and 2009 in Houston I actually became the states slogan….everything’s bigger in Texas…including the fatty writing this.
It had to stop at some point, I’ve had enough of being so big I can’t fit into airplane seats comfortably ,can’t walk up stairs without wanting to keel over, can’t see the tattoos on my stomach for the rolls of fat in the way, they’re probably just a big splodge now anyways.
So I’ve gone in all guns blazing and joined the gym. This I’m pretty sure is worse than any prison sentence ever. The mortifying thought of my fat ass bouncing around on the tread mill as the whole gym shakes is motivation in itself to keep going and lose that weight ASAP. The gym is my love/hate relationship, I’ve got the typical mentality of I love it when I get there but I absolutely detest dragging myself there. Partly due to the fact I have a complete complex that everyone is staring at me, when in reality the girls are checking out the lads who are too busy checking themselves out in the mirror to see how big their guns look.
So I’ve decided to keep a diary this time of my new adventure, this might be entertaining to read in a few months time.
Jan 1st 2010
Weighed myself 19st 10 …ate pizza to make myself feel better…and chocolate and cake.
Joined the gym and decided my health is way more precious than any dominos pizza two for Tuesday deal
Actually braved the gym today and it wasn’t so bad, the women only gym is quite entertaining for several reasons. One being when I walk in theres a 19 plus stone short haired lesbian bounding through the door, I can see the panic on the women’s faces. Secondly my complete disgust of 17 year old girls who’s clothing and footwear is clearly fashion not function…apparently lip gloss is also a must on the treadmill.
Dear chocolate, I miss you, I’m so upset we’ve split up but I could no longer live a lie, I’m seeing someone called gym and he really doesn’t like you, secretly I want to come back to you but I know gym is right. I will always treasure all the good and bad times you got me through but for now I must bid you goodbye.
Can I just say that activia yoghurts are the most tasteless thing I’ve ever had in my life. And also Kate moss said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels…she’s clearly never had a Gregg’s pasty!!
Must admit I have no clue why I was dreading eating fruit and veg so much, I actually really enjoy them, I’m really going for it I ordered my George foreman grill and a crock pot slow cooker, Good times ahead, good times lol.
I’m actually going to weigh myself again tonight, this I’m pretty scared of but it has to be done so I can actually measure how well I’m doing. I made a shopping list and I’m writing down all the things I’ve avoided all the past few years, Gillian mckeith would be so proud.
Random thought: just because they’re called skinny jeans doesn’t mean they make you skinny
Feb12th: Weight 19st 1lb …get in ! That’s 9 lbs gone so I am making progress even if it is slow. Gym session killed me today but I kept at it, I think the cross trainer in the women’s gym should be used as a torture device for prisoners, it’s horrible but with the help of the black eyed peas on my ipod I got through it!
Feb15th: The valentines weekend was great and I didn’t over eat at all, although did have a Mc d’s breakfast on Sunday other than that I was well behaved, I even turned down chocolate….ME!!!!! That’s a first. I’ve even managed to block the chocolate machine in the staff room out of my mind, that’s not an easy task when a Twix has been my breakfast for so long. Activia yoghurts are a thing of the past; Muller light yoghurts are my new best friend. The girl I'm dating made me a salad for lunch for work on Monday. My slow cooker cook book arrived today, loads of ace recipes which I can’t wait to try out, just need the slow cooker now. My George machine arrived so I can crack on with that too, happy days!! I’m reading this back and thinking Em you’re a sad sad girl you’re getting excited for electronic equipment…that should only ever occur if it comes from Anne Summers, not George Foreman!!
Gym time again tonight I’m going to be tortured on the machine from hell. I Must learn how to step of the damn thing gracefully…well as gracefully as you can at my size. Oh and I’m away from the office tomorrow and the boss has booked us in at an American diner for lunch. I want to cry!!! I will be good!
Day out was ok had salad and a bagel for lunch and grilled chicken and veggies for tea, was very nice. Cant believe I sat in a 50s diner and didn’t order burger and fries GO ME!I even made shortbread and didn’t even eat that, I’d usually inhale a whole tray of it myself
Really don’t feel very well today, going to attempt the gym but I just want to collapse in bed and die, think my boss has given me her lurgy which I could have done without just as I’m getting into the swing of things. Weighing myself tonight as I’m out tomorrow for a concert. Dying to go buy all the veggies for my slow cooker so the stews and soups can begin.
19st 2lb …. I put a pound on!!! All that gym work grrrrr am going to get even stricter with the food. I’m spurred on by the fact a so-called friend says I’ll only last 9 weeks doing this so I’m about to prove her wrong. I do love a good challenge. Note to anyone in my life reading this do not piss me off and tell me I can’t or won’t do something because it makes me even more determined. No gym tonight as I’m off to see lady gaga, maybe I could run up and down the arena steps a few times in a balboa styleee, very entertaining for those watching and very healthy for me. Some of the lads at work suggested I do the 11 flights of stairs in work at a lunch time, think I might just start doing that too, time to kick it up another notch. I did go from level 5 to 7 on the bikes at the gym and felt good for doing it so think im gonna step that up a level too, I’m in the zone writing this right now, must be the decaf coffee and diet coke talking lol
I’m beyond tired today due to lady gagas concert running late. I’m tired and I’m hungry and I really want a bacon sandwich with lashings of tomato sauce…but instead I’m having a fat free strawberry yoghurt. I will win the fat fight. I have to some how muster the energy to go to the gym tonight too. Going to just grab my bag and head straight there, if I mess around in the house I’ll make some excuse not to go and that’s not gonna help me lose any weight. Read an article online yesterday of a woman who went around in a 20st fat suit to see how the larger ladies coped with shopping and she came to the same conclusion as me. Shops that seller larger women’s clothes think we want to dress as follows: we are in our 50’s ,like we are wearing a tent, that we all love sparkles because theres nothing like drawing even more attention to the fact that we’re fat, we all love animal prints, that because we are wider also means we are also just as tall. All of those statements can go kiss my fat ass.
What an eventful weekend. I did manage to get to the gym on Friday although it almost killed me as I was so tired, Saturday and Sunday I managed to go too, so very proud. Saturday was a true test I took the kids to the cinema and didn’t have a thing went to restaurant afterwards and had grilled chicken salad and a diet coke, yes i know go me!! I didn’t even drink on the night out on Saturday and I think I actually enjoyed my night more.
And just to top the weekend off I finished seeing the girl i was dating, that would normally lead to a massive pizza and chocolate binge but this time I opted for salt and vinegar ryvita minis, a diet cherry coke and a blasting of Whitney Houston’s it’s not right but it’s ok. I think it’s just spurring me on even more to do better. Now I’m doing this for me AND to say a big “in yo face” when I’m looking all bootylicious. I’ve found a new way to keep me in the gym, glee on my ipod, I’ve loaded up episodes to watch while I’m in the cardio zone lets just hope I don’t fall off the treadmill backwards whilst busting a move to single ladies.
That’s right bitches I’m into the next stone!!! GET IN!! I spent most of last week ill so didn’t go to the gym but still ate really well. Used the slow cooker and made casserole and that went down a treat lol. I went to the gym last night and weighed myself before I went in there, so glad I did it spurred me on to kick it up another level on the machines. My clothes are becoming a little bit baggier which is ace, just not a dramatic change yet, that’s a while off for sure, but hey I’m keeping going. To my so called friend who said I wouldn’t keep it going IN YO FACE!!!! I have a testing weekend coming up as I am dining out Friday and Saturday so need to be careful really, going to make smart choices.
I just want to confirm there was not an earthquake in Manchester last night it was indeed me running on a treadmill!! For 12 mins…non stop…at 7.5!! ME!!! I still can’t believe it myself, I was too scared to run because I though the machine would break under my weight But I’m so glad I did it. Ive decided to enter a 5 mile fun run in May…theres nothing fun about killing yourself for charity but hey I’m gonna do it anyways!!!
Ive been at the gym again the past two days and managed to run again, BEST GYM SIGHTING EVER….. two 14/15 year old girls on the treadmill in converse pumps and baggy ass trackies that they had to hold up as they attempted to run, hop and moonwalk on the treadmill, whilst wear push up bras that became push out bras whilst drinking …FULL FAT DR PEPPER….scally gym rats…I SALUTE YOU!
I think I’m liking this…did a mini fashion show last night, managed to fasten my fave shirts that I’ve not been able to get in for ages. That feeling is so good. This is my testing weekend, I’m out tonight and tomorrow night, gonna do my best to stay on track, im at gym both days anyway just gotta control what I eat at the best curry house ever on Saturday!!
18 st 3lbs
Yes that is not a typo I lost 9 lbs this week!!! I actually can believe it because I worked so hard in the gym and my eating has been very healthy, I didn’t over do it at the meal on Saturday so I think that helped too. It’s made me feel extra enthusiastic about the gym.
Had my first full session with my trainer on Saturday 25 minutes of spinning hell, I wanted to throw up, I almost did, so not a good look!! Then did more cardio then weights and the session killed me but I know its worth it, Sunday I did my training plan and followed suit yesterday but my left knee is really sore, managed 10 mins on the treadmill before it was wanting to give way so I’m banned from running today, I’m not happy but I understand why. My trainer said maybe it’s your trainers, maybe its cos you’ve not done it in a while and I just said orrrr maybe its because i weigh what I do and you shouldn’t be running when you’re my weight. She said Im too brutal on myself but lets face facts, I’m 18st 3lb that’s not even just fat that’s obese!! My body fat percentage is 47% that is not healthy at all, so im gonna continue to work hard and get that down as much as I can now I know I’ll never be a professional athlete who has 10% but getting down in late 20’s early 30’s will be good. It’s a long road ahead but its gonna be so worth it.
I’ve got one friend in particular who is an absolute angel she really keeps me motivated, I don’t know what I’d do without her, well I do I’d be sat at home eating dominos pizza family deals to myself, listening to Celine dion records, feeling miserable, drinking several corona’s and eating myself into an early grave.
And I know you read this so I just want to say Thank you because I really appreciate what you do for me, I wouldn’t have gone to the gym half the amount I have done if you hadn’t kicked my behind into gear!!
Tonight’s the night when I get weighed, it kind of makes me feel like the xfactor contestants when they’re at judges houses and they’re waiting to find out if they’re in the top 3. I actually dread finding out the result but I really wannabe in Cheryl’s 3…erm I mean lose some weight……….anywaysssss weekend was all good I went to the gym wearing my new trainers and knee support and got back into running again. My trainer was worse than any army sergeant major I must remember to keep my mouth shut and not say I hate her because she just wants to put me through more pain, it is entertaining though, who knew exercising would be so much fun.
I think I might slowly be turning into one of those really annoying gym bunnies that I detest so much, the ones who REALLY enjoy exercise. I blame gym; he stole my heart from my chocolate love affair….the bastard!!
Another 6 pounds gone, I’m in cheryl’s 3 woohoooo! This is actually the best feeling to know I’m in another stone, adios 18 it was very nice knowing you. My work trousers will soon be resembling hammer pants (80’s reference kiddos). But I don’t want to go shopping yet, maybe in another 7 lbs time. I don’t think I’ll keep losing at this rate much longer but it’s nice while it’s happening! It’s giving me a new found confidence, I actually FEEL GOOD!!! I’m smiling on Mondays and have a spring in my step, I think I MIGHT be annoying my co workers a little bit but it’s tough really, they’re gonna have to grin and bear it.
Set myself a mini target to be down to 16st by the end of June, If I can do that I will be happy.
Managed to run again in the gym the knee is doing ok, best thing about the gym last night…had it all to myself and my god did I sing, in between catching my breath and wanting to collapse, tip for any runners out there: play Kimberly Wyatt not just a doll followed by lady gaga ft beyonce telephone, and finally black eyed peas immabe they keep you motivated.