Be Ruthless About Keeping the Negative People At Bay
Negative people take up too much time and valuable energy. We must be ruthless about preserving ourselves so that we remain productive and positive in attracting the things we really desire. Sitting in and collaborating with another person’s negative energy will bring negativity to you as well. Like-attracts-like. And whatever you give your focus to will materialize. As you see this Law of Attraction working in the positive sense you can also grasp that it can work in the opposite manner. So it’s important not to give too much focus to the negative around you, it will only sabotage your efforts. Unfortunately that can sometimes mean not just with clients but family and friends as well.
I have compiled the following tips to help you find ways to separate yourself from these folks in a loving yet effective manner. I find using an element of humor helps soften their feelings of abandonment when I won’t participate with them. But after a while they get the point and it stops.
Tip#1 - Declare Yourself “Switzerland"
This is the most effective tool I’ve learned in dealing with family and colleague dramas. When they try to draw you into the drama dejour simply say “I am Switzerland, which means, I am neutral about this issue. Don’t ask me, I have nothing to say or offer. " Most times they’ll just laugh but will eventually get the idea that you’re not going to play the drama game with them.
Tip#2 – The Block and Deflect Tactic
This may sound like a passive aggressive tactic but I urge you to use your caller ID to screen your calls. If you know that Negative Nelly or Dan Doom is calling allow them to leave their message. They will leave you all the details you need to know. When you are prepared you can simply listen to the message and carefully consider how you want to respond. This will give you the opportunity to be concise without having to waste an hour or more listening to their story.
Tip#3 – The Pre-Emptive Strike
Use your answering machine to set a positive tone. This works for both business and personal machines. Years ago I had a message on my home machine that said “Hey you’ve reached Maria. I’m out having a GREAT life! Leave a message and I’ll get right back to you!" The response was amazing – even the telemarketers laughed and found it refreshing. Often times this deflected a possible negative message. You are setting a positive tone. This completely disarms a person’s negativity.
Tip#4 – Use the 15 + 3 Rule
I have a very strict 15 minute rule. You get a grand total of 15 minutes to tell me what’s happening. That’s it. No more than that. At the end of the 15 minutes I issue a simple challenge: Tell me 3 things you’re most grateful for today? Name 3 ways you can see yourself resolving this issue? Or, what would be 3 things you could do for yourself to feel better about this? The trick is to get them to think in THREES. This helps them to shift their focus to the problem solving part of their minds.
Tip#5 – Identify Your Shield and Wear it Proudly
This is probably my favorite way to deflect negative people. Trust me everyone – I live in NYC and this can be the most effective way of keeping negativity out of your space as you do errands, go to the local coffee shop or bike around the park. A few years ago I found a baseball cap that says “Life is Good" from a company by the same name (www.lifeisgood.com ). This is my favorite hat! When I wear it people smile at me. They comment how great it is. I call this my “shield" and no one negative comes close when I wear it. It’s like a sign that says “this is a positive zone, negative people need not enter. "
Getting caught up in negativity can sabotage your ability to stay clear about your vision and remain in a productive head set. Negative people are exhausting. I urge you to create your own “No Whining Zone" TODAY!
© 2006 No More Sabotage.com. All Rights Reserved.
Maria Gamb “The Anti-Sabotage Expert" is founder of NoMoreSabotage.com, helping hundreds people learn how to undo sabotaging patterns thereby attracting more success and abundance into their lives.
She is a well-known and respected expert on Anti-Sabotage Principles and the Laws of Attraction for Success, speaking nationally to audiences whose members want to overcome blocks to success. Maria coaches female entrepreneurs and other motivated professionals to overcome self sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs about money, success, and relationships, helping to improve their own intuitive skills along the way.