I remember Brandon's college roommates playfully giving him a hard time about being "deep". They'd refer to his sometimes ill-timed desires for deep conversation as "BBerry's getting into philosophical mode". They recalled stories of how they'd be ready to go to bed and he would come into their room wanting to talk about deep theological issues until they finally had to kick him out to get some shut eye.
For some reason, I didn't take them seriously.
And then I got married to "BBerry" and we moved clear. across. the. country. Just me and him. No friends, no mentors, no kids...just us. And in the midst of both being full-time grad students and newly weds, we spent a lot of time together and not as much time in big social groups.
That's when I realized these guys were being serious about philosophical mode.
I tried to track with him most of the time, at first. You know, the new wife thing where every word that comes out of his mouth is awesome personified. But somewhere between years 2 and 3 (ironically, right after we had our first baby), I was no longer able to keep up step for step with all of his topics of conversation.
Most of you who know my dear hubby know what I'm talking about. He likes to go deep. Sometimes really deep. Sometimes so deep that you wonder if and when he will have to come back to the shallows for some air.
It's one of those things about him that I have a love/hate relationship with. One on hand, I love that I'm not the deepest person in this relationship, or we'd be stuck watching Napoleon Dynamite and this:
I love that he's a deep thinker and especially that he takes the time and makes the space in his calendar to meditate, reflect, research and study. I'm not good at that, and I'll admit that many times when he brings up something that is going to require me to put on my swimmies (read: a little too deep for my comfort level), once I actually go there with him, I usually feel pretty intrigued, and possibly a little wiser.
But there's this other side of me that wishes I had he'd have someone else to share some of this stuff with. And please understand that I'm not at all trying to dishonor my husband. I mean, for crying out loud...he's trying to explain Shechem to me, but at least he's not bar fighting. It could be a lot worse. When I'm really honest, it's not that I don't like going there with him (to the deep convos, not the bar), it's just that with three kids 4 and under and...nevermind, all I need to say is "with three kids 4 and under", I just don't have the time nor energy to track with him when he wants to explain why the red heifer is important.
So a few years ago, I was getting tired of trying to act interested when he wanted to go really, really deep...I'm talking seven bowls of revelation and stuff like that. So, I suggested that I bake brownies and he could invite his friends over to talk about stuff like that and let me off the hook.
And Nerd Night was officially invented.
It was awesome. Three of his buds (all Furman grads and self admitted to like to go deep) would come to the house after we put the girls down for bed, and they'd stay up all night mapping out scripture, talking through obscure verses, and praying. Meanwhile, I'd hide away in my bedroom with a novel or movie or just take that opportunity to go to bed early. Did I mention it was awesome? He got an outlet and I got a break.
In the process, Brandon has grown close with each of these godly men. I've loved watching him get excited to dig in with them. They've even driven all the way to Charlotte to continue the tradition! I'm so thankful for their friendship and their individual relationships with the Lord which encourage and challenge my husband.