by Joanna D.
Last night I dreamt that I shaved half my hair off. Short, crew cut style. I had agreed to do it for a part in a film. To fit the scene – complete the look. I was running around looking for the right clothes. Trying on pants and skirts and throwing on shirt after shirt, desperate for the perfect outfit. Somewhere between a pair of suspenders, a white-ribbed tank-top, flying sharpies and one random torn-up jacket I paused, reached up and felt the half of my head sporting a crew cut finish. Soft. The feel of it… simple, comforting; satisfying yet terrifying. My god! I’m half bald! Soon it was revealed that my part was cut. No longer would I be in the film. I had shaved my head for no apparent reason. I stood there, in front of a giant dressing mirror, staring at a crazily arranged outfit and asymmetric nightmare/revelation of a half shaved head and thought… “I’ll just have to shave the rest off”. So that’s what I did. In the dream that is.
To dream that you are shaving your head indicates a desire to reveal more of yourself. …*
The past few months have been one hell of a ride. The Bhakti Boy Movie. Can’t hardly believe it really. The world in which I “normally” reside completely turned upside down, an alternate universe playing it’s way out in such an incredibly intoxicating way. I had no idea what it was going to be like working on a film. Didn’t know what role I would be playing, what space I would occupy. As it turns out, I dug it. I became props master/acquisitioner, set designer, and really whatever else was needed. Being on location meant some seriously long hours. Long days. Not much time or space to do my practice. That messed with me some. Quite a bit to be honest. Provided a pretty good deal of resistance in the beginning of things but I surely fit it in where I could, when I could. Various times in the day/night. I practiced sun salutations and the standing series in hallways, dirty warehouses and on the sidewalk next to the filming set. It kept me grounded. Hearing “Sound speeds! Quiet on set! Action! Cut!” While my hands pressed into the concrete and my body moved through the tangible familiarity of sun salutations, standing postures and if I got to it some much needed backbends.
It was difficult for me to be separated from my community of yogi’s here in Philly. To not have the time to share sacred space at AYSP with them, but it was also really amazing and revealing to detach from what I felt I needed from it. To know that my practice will carry through with me in what ever capacity I need it to for whatever situation I place myself in. After all, I chose to be where I was. I did enjoy it. And I might even do it again.
If you leave some hair on your head, then it suggests that you are not completely prepared to let others see who you really are. You are still afraid of what people might think.*
The learning curve was huge. Not only in the realm of props, production and working with crazy talented, creative people but with rebalancing my being. It got me thinking about what I desire to accomplish in this life. To share. What is inside of me that I want to express and how I’m going to do that? So many options and avenues to connect with artistic expressiveness. To meet such creative and unique individuals. To develop a taste for revealing that level of self-expression. It shook things up.
Alternatively, shaving your head represents humbleness and humility.*
I look forward to getting back to AYSP tomorrow morning; to stepping inside one of the most powerful rooms I can say I have ever been lucky enough to be involved in. And I am so completely honored to share it with such an amazing group of people, dedicated practitioners, individuals… artists. I’m honored to grow with them as a community who supports not only the insanely beneficial practice of Ashtanga Yoga, but the uniquely expressive pieces of ourselves which exude creativity.
Love and light.