Post # 1
I am just starting to plan my wedding and am flabbergasted at the far higher costs than I anticipated. We are footing the FULL bill of the entire wedding ourselves, so we’re trying to cut costs wherever it makes sense.
I’m not a very traditional person and we’re deciding to stay away from a lot of the traditional wedding practices anyhow by not having any bridesmaids or groomsmen (lots of solid reasons why) and a wedding on the smaller side (80-100 people). With that said, is there a need to have a rehearsal dinner? I’m literally envisioning one of our parents walking us both down the aisle, as well our flower girls and ring bearer heading down, and we have the property from 9am onward in the morning (ceremony will start in the early evening). We could always practice in the morning right? Is this tacky? Help! This wedding planning thing is so new to me.
Post # 2
Well a rehearsal is different from a rehearsal dinner. I WOULD do a rehearsal just so everyone knows their cues.. it’s easier to do something when you’ve done it before.
Rehearsal dinner, you don’t need to have a big fancy shindig, just you and your parents go out for a nice dinner. Or you could totally skip it, doesn’t matter.
We are doing a rehearsal as we are having a very unique ceremony, and our rehearsal dinner is more of a “welcome party”. All guests are invited but we aren’t doing anything fancy.. just pizza hut & drinks.
Post # 2
Practicing in the morning is just fine. It’s not tacky at all; it’s practical and all that is necessary since there aren’t bridesmaids or groomsmen.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I’d just practice the morning of if there’s time. The kids will at least need to practice. If for some reason it makes more sense to do it the night before, only invite the necessary people and just go out to dinner somewhere after. It could be pizza at your favorite place.
Post # 5
I don’t think that they are necessary, but definitely common to have.
FI didn’t really want to have a rehearsal. I told him it’s needed since our ceremony is outside at a park and I’d rather have an idea of what to expect then get their the next day and be like, um… where should we go?
As for a dinner, we are having one as a way to get together with those in town early and for some of our extended families to meet. I won’t have as many out of town family members there as he will (most live in town), but it will be nice for them to get introduced to some of FI’s family since they will be with each the following evening – and some are joining up to help decorate the morning of.
Post # 6
Do you have a lot of out of town guests? Typically, (in my family and friend circle) in additon to following the actual wedding rehersal, the rehearsal dinner is to enterain your out of town guests.
We’re also having a brunch the morning after the wedding. But, we have a wedding of 200 with over half of the guests from out of town.
Post # 7
Rehersal dinners are only required for those rehersing. If no one is rehersing, no dinner is needed.
Post # 8
We also paid for our entire wedding ourselves, but we’re older (in our late 20’s and early 30’s). We went intimate, but not for budget reasons – we just preferred it.
If you have a rehearsal you should have a rehearsal dinner. You can always just order in pizza and have some beer. It doesn’t need to be fancy. If you decide not to have rehearsal then you don’t have to have a dinner.
We had a small wedding (42) guests – we had a FG and a MOH. We invited our immediate families and Bridal Party with S/O’s to the rehearsal and the dinner. We did a lot of things traditionally, just on a smaller scale so really you can do whatever you want.
Post # 9
Not necessary. Not necessary at all. And tacky is so subjective. If you aren’t traditional and aren’t doing traditional stuff then you’re at risk for people thinking something is tacky. Who cares? Here, read this: http://offbeatbride.com/2008/07/tacky It helped me stop caring what is tacky and not for my wedding. (I mean, I care some still but much less and it’s normally when I’m just overwhelmed.)
We’re having a “pre-wedding dinner” the night before and my in-laws are planning and covering it. If they weren’t, it wouldn’t be happening. They just really wanted to plan something.
Also, keep in mind that the rehearsal dinner is normally a much smaller group– sometimes even just immediate family and wedding party. And you aren’t having a wedding party so really it’s just your family that would be maybe expecting it and they should understand since you’re paying for the wedding yourself.
Definitely have a practice run through before though, since you have little ones participating.
Post # 10
If there’s not a bridal party, there’s not really a reason to have a rehearsal the night before. Even our pastor said that to us since we’re in a similar situation. You guys will know what to do! You don’t need to have a rehearsal dinner if you don’t want to. I didn’t think we would either, but FI’s parents have offered to host a dinner for our families the night before, so I guess we’ll probably have one now. But it’s more of a family welcome dinner than a rehearsal dinner really.
Post # 12
OMGMrsW2B: Yes, we do have a lot of out of town guests. So with that said, is it expected? I wouldn’t mind doing it from an overall standpoint – just want to be hyper aware of costs. I feel like my family overall is pretty low key, so I’m sure a no-frills event may be suitable.
Post # 13
PS – Thank you for such awesome answers! This is such great feedback to have.