For the anons I didn't respond to: Yes, I definitely feel your compulsion towards certain actions, and your observations of such were fueled and influenced by OCD. I think the idea that a bad thing happened or didn't happened is unrealistically heightened by your mental proclivities towards such (In my case, at least, not to minimize your experience or act like it's not a brutally trying circumstance)



Also, thank you to the anons sharing their experience with rehab/therapy and jail. Your insights are genuinely helpful and your contributions kind and well-meaning. I love all of you who have tasted liquor's seduction, and deeply respect those who have escaped it.

I've been drunk for way too many days in a row. It's reaching the point where if I eat something then it will make my stomach turn while drunk. I don't want to drink anymore but it might literally be all I've got left. I'm feeling a way that I've never felt before. Like this isn't suicidal ideation but fucking despair. This feeling isn't some spur of the moment feeling but deep within, below normal emotions. Something at my core has completely rotted.



So I'll just drink some more.



Sorry OP I just needed to blog a little.

I really do get it; at a certain point it's just an extension of any relieving habit. Alcohol provides an amazing escape that becomes weaker with each venture. She's the cruelest mistress imaginable. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time, and as a fellow alcoholic, I won't tell you to "drink less LOL" like some normiefuckcunt, I just want you to do your best to remember that you're at least smart enough to describe and identify your situation, which most normies really can't handle in the slightest. 



That said, I finished my pint of rum and my tallboy and my beer and all that shit, and I'm probably gonna pop some benadryl before bed to drive my somnolence home. 



I really do love my fellow alcoholic anons though, and I wish you the best, and I hope you can at least feel the understanding, comradery and brotherhood that your fellow substance-users have for you. There isn't anything wrong with you; this is the weight of the world coming upon you, and you're just a human developing psychic armor. 



im gonna be so hungover and fucked tomorrow but fuck it let us celebrate the uncertainty and horror of life while we laugh at it together anons 

>>73108028 (OP)

Ex sober person here. The hangovers are horrible again. Can't even have 4 beers without feeling like shit the next day. Time for a break from drinking or time to dump some more repressed emotions.

>>73108028 (OP)

Oh hi lmao im drunk rn (ish, ai have a high tolerance and I only had a bottle of soju and a shot of vodka + weed) im an ex alchoholic I used to drink a bottle of vodka a day and then I stopped for my health. I dont believe in total sobriety thats dumb drinking when theres stuff happening or to celebrete have been helping staying within limits and not overdrinking, however my kidneys/liver might disagree with how easily I puke without being drunk the the next morning ive gotten lmao

took 100mgs of benadryl again might have the last beer I told my dad he could have; but fuck it, I paid for the six pack, he can suck my goddamned dick I make more than him now
