I'm writing a book but I want to make sure my setting is interesting. Be as honest as possible. Thank you! 



https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xCGC1p08HEQBSvyWOjacbZ8cbBaZufyHM7j14FyleWw/edit?usp=sharing

>>21930208 (OP)

Hovering between pretentious highschooler and a classic prose.

Trying way too hard. Reads like Twilight Zone narration. Simultaneous lack of meaningful detail while drawing way too much attention to really unimportant tropey shlock.

Your narration should be simple and authentic. You shouldn't be trying to convince your audience that the work they're reading is genre enough for them. Tell us the things we need to know and let those details stand on their own.

Read Dune for some style guidance. Herbert throws out tons of fictitious names, places and ideas but his narration and his characters treat them as concrete, so the audience has to as well.

Good job on actually writing things before asking for criticism/advice though, already ahead of the power curve just for that.

>>21930208 (OP)

So far, I like it, it it's 'super science-fiction'. I usually call this type of writing a that because of the very high-tech technology used in the story. 

I am not a big fan of this genre but I'm comfortable with the narrative.



Will get back later if I have time to deduce some more critique.

(Not OP)

Idk about this comment anon

>Your narration should be simple and authentic

I think it's authentic enough, perhaps for my palate is too much to digest. But I would say it's a "character" for an author, I don't think watering it down helps, because it is a hard science fiction.

>Tell us the things we need to know and let those details stand on their own.

I agree with this, cause as a reader, I would not understand what is what or which is which

>>21930208 (OP)

good cheer wagmi

>>21930208 (OP)

I don't think this is a good place to get critique. /lit/ tries to be cool by accentuating the negative constantly. There are always "Woolf/Dostoyevsky/Twain suck, actually" threads, so how do you think those people are going to treat you?

These brainlets dont realize it's a description of the setting and not the real first chapter



>>21930208 (OP)

I think having 30% of the population as hereditary slaves is silly. Why can't they just be poor?



Also am i retarded or is there a reason why they couldn't just cultivate the flower? It clearly could grow on multiple planets, so whats to stop people in RIBS (lol) from growing it?



Also how does a whole galaxy get drained of resources to the point it's abandoned? Also galaxies are super far apart just fyi.



Anyways i could go on, but you could get way better criticism if you knew what kind of story you want to tell WITHIN this setting and had a plot synopsis.
