...write a Zombie Apocalypse novel!

The easiest genre to ever exist! A color-by-numbers genre if ever there was one!



And obviously her was just cashing in on the fucking trend.



Hey, first off, I grew up with this weird-faced creepazoid and devoured his tripe along with, apparently, every other American teenager male.

(shitting up your brain with Stephen King novels is now like some awful rite of passage)



Tommyknockers

The Stand

Bachman

Pet Cemetery

It

Werewolf bullshit

Thinner

Needful Things

The Dark Half (probably the only half decent book he ever wrote and definitely, to me, one of the best movie adaptations, Misery edging it out by a hair)

Etc 



Grew up and moved tf on, though not before reading and thinking that Clive Barker was, BY FAR, the better writer.



But after years of STILL hearing that this FUCK hadn't been killed by an irrate transexual call-girl or run tf over by a bus, I finally gave in and thought, "well wtf, I've talked so much shit about how awful his writing is, given millions of better alternatives, all over the internet, and yet people everywhere still talk about him like his writing is good and not complete and utterly devoid of redeeming features.



Maybe he's become a better writer street all these years and I'm wrong to still think he writes utter, forgettable SHIT that's insulting to anyone who's read even Poppy Z Transexual Doughboy Brite?



So I DL'ed this piece of fucking shit book and determined to find out for myself.



And hoooooly shit is it bad.



Stephen King is a bad author who can't even populate a zombie apocalypse book with believable characters that anyone gives a squirt of pizzle about.

His stupid "zombies" aren't even zombies (ohh wow what a curve all!) They are goofy and forgettable.



The stupid and hamdisted "social commentary", which at least could've been interesting, in the hands of anyone who wasn't so ensconced in celebrity that they be damn well they could drop a turd in their audiences' lap and have them cheer about it.

The entire thing is honestly written like a joke.

Like he was seeingb exactly how much he could get away with, how bad of a book he could write and still have NYTs praise it and people recommend it.





And... That's... Really all I wanted to say.

I was right.



Read Clive "Cigar-Chomping, Cottage-Cruising, Thoroughly Homosexual" Barker, young men, if you absolutely positively just hafta get some blood, gore and horror novels into your life right now!

Read PZB!

I don't know what to say, fags really do know about debauchery, dreary, evil, sour, creepy shit so you'll be in the hands of EXPERTS there!



Or better yet...



READ JOYCE CAROL OATES' "ZOMBIE" 

OR ANY OF HER SHORT STORY COLLECTIONS!!



I AM ALWAYS RIGHT

AND STEPHEN KING 

IS A TALENTLESS MILLIONAIRE!!!

/THE END

>>21934391 (OP)

>Barker

Yes

>PZB

>JCO

No
