anybody else think about their past, present and future and just sort of get this feeling of desperation? like wanting to scream and kick but just sort of sitting still and shit? god damn

>>73095268 (OP)

Yeah man I've been laying in my bed for the past 5 hours just contemplating my life and having existential dread. I feel like I'm wasting my life away but I'm not able to do anything at the same time, I feel like I'm in a vicious circle of losing grip on my life, reality and future while spiraling downwards in every imaginable way. Fuck

Smoke a joint and calm down lol this shit doesn't really matter. You're going to be dead and none of this shit will have made a difference

Actually that's what my LSD trip last week was for. Or my beer right now. Can't smoke anymore because it makes me paranoid as fuck. But you're right, the fact that none of it matters in the grand scheme of things is kind of calming to me, and I've had the same thought a couple of times as well. But I can't help my brain when I have those racing thoughts, I feel like I'm the passenger seat of my brain sometimes and I can't control the anxiety of it all

>>73095268 (OP)

I used to feel that way, you need to regain a feeling of control over you life. Also that pic/aesthetic is probably damn near 20 years old at this point, where the fuck did the time go.

Go monk mode.

Reject the world. 

Solomon had divine knowledge, all the riches in the world, supreme power, and it didn't fulfill him. Nothing brought him true fulfillment except putting these things aside and returning to a Godly life.

>>73095268 (OP)

Desperation? No.

It's more of a cold bitter hatred mixed with a sense of accomplishment and pride.

>>73095268 (OP)

Indeed that was me and sort of is me still. I at times get these dreadful thoughts where I compare myself to others and see how far they are getting while I am stuck here fighting myself for years on end like rats in a sack. 



Nowadays I can ignore those thoughts and just press on the grind hoping that I can end this brutal cycle and get to a place where everything is stabilised. It requires relentless pursuit and eventually I can get there but it will take time. I am just focussing on a skillset and gaining mastery over it

fuck me, guys you're describing me to a t, this is fucking brutal, like the regret of my choices is so fucking much to take some nights

yeah, I always wanted an scene/emo gf but I was too young back in the early 2000s, I just sort of look at these photos with a sense of pain, whatever

>>73095268 (OP)

i want a girl like this to pin me down

Just know you're not alone anon.

I was raised into it but too young to fully partake.

My hopes and dreams for a proper emo gf once I became of age were dashed against the rocks.

""""alt girls""""" feel like a cheap imitation. A mockery, even.

>""""alt girls""""" feel like a cheap imitation. A mockery, even.

100% agree anon, this shit sucks

>>73095268 (OP)

>anybody else think about their past, present and future

I try not to honestly

>I try not to

yeah but are you successful at that?
