>The movie Drive shows up on my recommendations.

>Had never seen it, so decide to watch it.

>Holy Fuck. Realize I can probably be just as cool as the Driver.

>All I need to do is practice pausing before speaking.

>Only other thing I need is a scorpion jacket.

>Already have the awkward silence thing down.

>Decide to make some modifications to my Celica while waiting for my jacket.

>Rip out the interior carpet and paneling so it has that "stunt car" feel to it.

>The floor panel near my feet is completely rusted through.

>Jacket finally comes in the mail. I am ready.

>About to get in my car when I notice the driver's side window was busted.

>I hate California. I don't keep anything valuable in my car for this very reason.

>Start driving to the college bar down the road. Getting in the zone and driving a little faster than normal.

>Hit a massive pot hole at a high rate of speed. It tore off the plastic undercarriage cover, which is now dragging on the ground. I wish this state would fix its goddamn roads. I can now see the pavement through the hole in the floor.

>Realize I forgot my toothpicks, so stop at gas station. Decide to also get quick car wash. Want to show up looking nice.

>Drive into the automated car wash. I try to roll up my window, forgetting that it was broken.

>Too late. Got covered in foam, but the air dryers blew most of it off of me.

>Finally pull up to the bar. People looking at me strange because of the loud scraping noise from my car.

>I can just tell them it's one of my stunt cars, but nobody asks.

>Get in and order a beer and stand alone for about 45 minutes. Nobody talks to me.

>I don't understand why this is not working. I spent days planning out this new look, even modifying my car, and not a single damn lady will say hi.

>Decide tonight's not my night, so I leave the bar and drive home.

>On the way home hit a massive puddle and get splashed in the face through the hole in the floor. Almost swallow my toothpick.

>>73185649 (OP)

to fully become driver you have to drive a 1973 Chevrolet Malibu, otherwise it doesn't work. If you had the right car, they would have talked to you for sure

include me in the screencap r/greentext fags

Oh yeah, theres this fucking YouTuber who takes these posts and puts an AI voice on it. I bet he will use this post

>theres this fucking YouTuber who takes these posts and puts an AI voice on it.

brother, there's like thousands of them

>be me

>autistic neet

>watch Drive starring Literally me

>buy a centipede jacket

>use tooth pick all the time

>never smile and never talk first

>qt at work takes notice

>invites me out 

>the movie didn't cover this

>she shows up in a nice dress

>I'm still wearing the crustacean jacket

>fuck

>waiter comes and takes our order

>she's having a salat and chicken

>I drive

>waiter looks at me confused

>excuse myself and get up

>trip and fall down on the floor

>phone falls out and the headphones disconnect

>A real Hero is blaring through the restaurant

>date avoids looking at me and leaves

>drive home and masturbate to 2Dyourerealforme waifus
