>perma dissociated

>rough childhood n attempted suicide at 7

>expelled from middle school

>always had sadistic urges, mostly sexual

>age 12 i felt up a sleeping woman during a flight

>age 14 pressured a meek girl into sex and i held her down as she resisted, she claimed it was no big deal after n kept seeing me

>HS im jacked and no longer loud n rowdy, but quiet and hateful

>during this period i would seek rushes but was still sober so had better impulse control

>started blackmailing girls after ive seduced them n had pics/vids

>i would relentlessly bully girls who thought i was there bf, one ended up killing herself

>started drinking, age 19 went around holding people at gun point blackout drunk

>started taking lots of lsd followed by shrooms and dxm

>went into drug induced psychosis for a while

>been trying my best to treat my current gf right but i still make mistakes without even realizing it

>she called me out for a manipulation tactic that i didnt realize i was using

>most girls ive been with have fell obsessed or crushed for years after, it only validates my way of thinking

>put a gun to my coworkers head n had her blow me in her car

>she fuckin enjoyed it, again only validating my years of having a fucked up world perspective

>fucking weirdo i thought of buying acid barrels as a "just in case"

>thought about buying rats to kill and other weird shit

>have a weird delusion that I am rewarded by a devil for being fucked up and avoid music with the mention of god just incase karma gets me.

>have cut up n fucked girls with guns n various objects but its like i seek more

>get off to humilating men and being a home wrecker

>have severe night terrors or i wake up growling like an animal



What may be wrong with my brain?

forgot to mention im a trans woman btww

>>73075014 (OP)

post the blackmail videos then

>rough childhood

yeah what a fucking shocker, 

you better keep your shit in check schizo. No joke, otherwise all those whore pleasures will bite you back

you're a psychopath but not the type you think you are lmao

yeah, yes. You're posting this shit on 4chan for a reason You fucking loser.

>>73075014 (OP)

We live in a fucked up world, that's literally the answer. The subconscious can be a dark and twisted place because the past was a dark and twisted place, and women have less will power in resisting the urge to give into degenerate parts of the mind. Usually it's up to the man to create and enforce morality since we no longer live in a twisted, hunter gatherer environment. Obviously you failed at that, and it's no secret that many women sexually reward dark triad men since they have little self control. I'm not sure I have an answer since os many people are fucked up, including myself. The world is also far from perfect, so even though we live in a world that's a far cry from hunter gatherer times, the environment is still fucked up enough to validate and reinforce many dark triad traits. I don't have an answer other than cultural morality which is quickly degrading. We are fucked barring a major change,

>>73075014 (OP)

I wish I could be more like you
