text: Wow. Good for you. Plainly, you are a spiritual seeker, but what has been your motivation along the way? Is the Spirit guiding you? Or is your intellect — your own control —guiding you? Is your motivation curiosity? Or is it a desperation of sorts?  Or this: When you are peeling your spiritual onion, are you revealing darkness? or light? or a relentless sameness? The sad, sad truth of it is that Jesus is not well served by most of Christianity today, and the adult seeker like yourself is especially harmed. I recommend http://www.jacobneedleman.com/lost-christianity as a starter. And if you want to overwhelm yourself with the mother lode, begin where you will at http://www.gods-kingdom-ministries.net/teachings/books/ by clicking on your book title of choice (all of the books can be read free online). My own faith statement is http://steven-a-sylwester.blogspot.com/2014/03/21st-century-lutheran-creed.html But know this: I quit going to Central Lutheran very soon after posting that creed.