text: Over the years I have struggled with my church and within my vocation. Deep down, I live a heresy that equates the earthy, pilgrim church with the Kingdom of God, the spotless bride. The sexual abuse of minors, the cover up by the bishops, clericalism, careerist clerics, this sick seduction of power and recognition, the alienation and driving out of so many people who don't fit into the perfect image that we have created for ourselves and so many other things....must die. 
  
  Divinity is hidden in this mess that we call church, in all its humanity. It must die so that Christ rises again. It is a slow purgative process and it hurts. Those who cling to their lives in this world will lose it in the next. 
  
  We have not seen the last of these machinations and manipulations of the bishops or the last of a broken humanity in its death throws. 
  
  The iceberg metaphor is so spot on- the church must disorganize, disintegrate so as to reorganize and reintegrate with Christ and one another. Mercy,