text: Your friend had the choice to leave Religious Life long before the 25 years she lived as a Carmelite.  Nobody keeps a woman/man against their wills in any Order.  Caught in the life?  A virus in Roman Catholicism and Orthodoxy?  Have you considered that many times it was their families, who were the reason for their endurance in a life for which they were unfitted?  Unfitted, yes, but they always had the choice to opt out of it.  However, they worried that their families would be spoken about/criticised by relations, friends and neighbors.  This I know for a positive fact.  So, they endured, as did the seminarians you spoke about.  There are no control mechanisms in any Order that restricts one's freedom.  Before any member takes vows, she/he is questioned about whether they are doing this of their own free will.  As I said, families often call the shots, and people are afraid that if they leave, they will have no support.