Leah,
Are you putting your child thru hell just to have something to write about. Poor kid does not deserve this. You should separate your work from family - it clearly doesn't work for you.

I really don't understand what you are trying to teach your son. That men and women are identical. Anything a man does woman can do too. And viceversa?  Women give birth, man can't. Women live longer. Men are stronger. 

Teaching your son to respect women is one thing. Teaching him he can be a woman is nuts.