I am glad you bring that up. My knowledge of Muslim female rulers is limited to the ones in south Asia. Razia Sultana was the ruler of a Muslim empire in South Asia. Noor Jahan ruled as an equal to the Mughal Emperor Jahangir (who was the richest monarch in the world in the 17th century). Since he was hopelessly addicted to opium, she ruled in his place. 

Let's go back to the basics. Prophet Mohammed's first wife was older than him, and his landlady and a successful merchant. Mary Magdalene, Jesus's friend, was a former prostitute. 

Muslim women are expected to be sexy for their husband? I guess French women weren't, and that is why French men looked for women elsewhere (to refer to an another post of yours).

On a more serious note, sexuality is repressed in any religious society, particularly female sexuality. Europe was very religious till the Renaissance. And even upto the Victorian period. Islam become more fundamentalist after the Mongol invasions.