Seek some professional help. The path you are on is a dead end. You may be a powerful career woman, lordess of all you survey, but in the relationship game, you are simply a concubine.  No amount of fancy wordplay or psychological rationalization will alter this. His wife and daughters are being held hostage by his financial wealth and/or social status. You're in love with a mirage.  No matter how charming, handsome or re-assuring he appears. Find a better man