Man! 

Where were those women for my 72 years of existence?!  

What career field should I have chosen to be a 'victim'? ! 

I was an attorney!  How much lower can you go?!

I would have done that in a heartbeat!

"Beat me! 

Bite me! 

Make me write bad checks!  

Treat me like the dirty bastard that I am and then kick me to the gutter!"