As a gal who was in the trades for 20 years , managed a hardware store for 15, and now works in marine supply, I do think women  get talked down to in a specific sort of way men don't. And it is sexist. There's an assumption that the gal will never be able to understand even if the fellow  speaks carefully and slowly.
That being said , you are correct there are more who  "Jerks (who) are typically jerks to everyone" . Life's too short to waste time on any of them if you don't have to. Call them on it AND take your business elsewhere.