It's just very hard to prove after the fact and Cosby winning his case is a perfect example.    Like you say, we know that every case is unique and it's unfair to create stereotypes of only abusive men.  

It is eqaully unfair to claim the woman is at fault.   Sounds like Muslim law doesn't it?  In cases of infidelity or rape, isn't it the woman who is punished in Sharia law?