"that's the whole point: some women will be better at STEM than men -- it's a bell curve, not a sharp divide. " Yes, that is the point - SOME will, not necessarily 50% though!

You have to be interested enough and have enough drive to get a quality degree before you can get the job, and more than that, be ready to spend your whole waking life coding, for years before you reach those higher level roles.

Right now not enough women go through the first step.