Right there you identified a key element, then you ran passed it as just fine. I'm talking about the 'what clothes to wear' example, 'all female lawyers are asked to dress this way'. This way being what is deemed acceptable by, whom? And why on earth should all female lawyers dress a certain way? Because the men wear suits? That's an organization worth its salt. 
I realize it's very difficult to truly put ourselves in the shoes of others in any situation...and much harder still with envy and anger about an individual's intelligence and expressions of personal experience.