It doesn't sound like your grandfather was physically or emotionally abusive, just a grump. There is a huge distinction here. This woman's father has a history of emotional and physical abuse. He didn't spank her to discipline her, he beat her until she couldn't sit and called her worthless. The man has unrecognized (by him) rage issues that, to my mind, he may not be able to control with a grand-child who displeases him. There is nothing stopping the parents from letting their child know the grandparents the way your father did, through supervised visits, but personally, I would not leave my child with either the grand- mother or the grand-father. Dad was abusive and Mom let it happen. You can't unring a bell. If the grand-father does lose it on the baby or later on the chid when he/she is older the damage is done.