Thanks for sharing your real-life story.  This is a weird topic in which a lot of people have pre-conceived slanted ideas about the sexes and the nature of abuse.

My experience:  I've never hit my wife or a girlfriend, and only one actually hit me once.  But I've come to suspect that verbal abuse is what women do to men.  They may not break any bones, but the victim feels mistreated, stressed, and unsure if they should try to work things out or get out of the relationship.  That's abuse.