You are so hip!  I LOVE the use of "nasty" in the hashtag.  Kewl.  You got that from Ashely Judd! 

I'm not actually writing to you - you are a lost cause, I'm writing to other women who might be reading this.

At 30, as a slattern who advertises in a national paper, you can absolutely  give up your dreams of a wedding.  No decent man will ever want to marry you.   

Very soon your "boyfriend" will dump you. He'll find someone younger.  His wife will divorce him.  Their kids will be damaged. There is no question of the damage to the kids.  Google it.  You will be alone in your penthouse.  First for a few years as a cougar.  Then, after your ovaries dry up and no ever looks at you (only about 5-10 years away), you'll join women's marches protesting the patriarchy.  You'll then petition the owners of your apartment building to allow cats.

I truly do feel sorry for you.  But more sorry for the existing children you are so badly hurting and the children you will never have. 

Slattern.