It is times like this that one misses H.L. Mencken:

“No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.”

"It is a fact that no man improves much after the age of 60 and after 65, most suffer a really alarming decline. I could give some examples, but at the advice of my publisher will refrain from doing so."

"Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it."

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."

"The public...demands certainties...But there are no certainties."

"The kind of man who wants the government to adopt and enforce his ideas is always the kind of man whose ideas are idiotic."