Wait... I am allowed to take every Friday off 7 months a year?  Why didn't I get the memo?  I know my Male Privilege Discount Card got hung up in the male... I mean mail... but there was nothing in the Patriarchy newsletter about socially acceptable long weekends.  Might have been a delay in delivery on account of the woman who sorts the mail needing to leave early randomly "for the kids".  

Oh, was that last sentence insulting, overly broad and baseless?  exactly.