The Donalds Press Secretary: "I assure you, super seriously, that trump is a very family man. He's a stupendous father. Wouldn't hurt a fly but will crack putin open like a egg to fry if he steps out of line. He alone, among all men, is the only man, the only, the ONLY man that can possible save the world. I assure you with the most very serious sincerity". Assuredly. And the lies about the real me? I mean mr trump? Lies. All lies. Locker room talking lies.
Reporter: "Uh, mr trump? You left your webcam on and it appears you are umm, pleasuring yourself?".
Little Hands Donald: "Damm, not again".