I agree with you, that it takes two to tango.  Nevertheless, if both are smart and emotionally healthy, she will leave him if he done her wrong, just as he will leave her if she done him dirt.  That's the sensible thing.  My dad told me never to hit a woman, and I never have.  Not only is it ungentlemanly, it is a stupid thing to do.  If the woman is inclined to hit or throw heavy objects under stress, the smart thing is to leave the room, and if it continues too long, to leave her.

But some people, women as well as men, have an obsessive response they are unable to control, and often, can't acknowledge.  Those people are stalkers who blame others and especially those close to them,  for all their self-made troubles.  Very often they do a great deal of harm through violence to the object of their obsession.  Stalking isn't a reasonable response to mistreatment or rejection, it is creepy and it is motivated by criminal intent.  You don't kill a wife who leaves you, you find a new wife.