Absolutely, the TOB is *not* patriarchal.  Precisely, this is my point: interpreting the TOB as patriarchal and sexist is wrong, in my view.  There are two kinds of complementarity: unitive and divisive.  Complementarianism is sexism when it reduces man and woman to divisive gender stereotypes.  But the TOB is *not* about divisive complementarity; it is about a unitive complementarity, a complementarity of interpersonal communion, *not* a complementarity of interpersonal domination/subordination.  In my view, reading the TOB as being complementarian in the divisive sense is wrong, even though many interpret the TOB that way.