"Does calling a person a racist get them to listen and converse with you?" 

Perhaps not, but allowing the racist to avoid self-confrontation about their racism out of some vague sense of politeness doesn't help either. As Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu once said to Ted Koppel years ago when asked by Koppel why he would not meet with Jerry Falwell in South Africa, "I refuse to meet with a man whose mind is closed." Tutu clearly understood that until people's minds are open to change no amount of talking will help them. They have to decide to change for themselves. Only then does the possibility exist that discussion will become fruitful and worthy other people's time.  So it is with the homophobe.