Phew man, Andrew!  I have also suffered big mental abuse and physical injury, during a hugely, failed marriage, and my poor children suffered as a result of that history.  How? Are we going to educate the mass of South Africans to value and respect women, and children too,  instead of always, always,  using them as a battering ram on which to relieve their own, frustrations. Tribal custom is also a serious issue here.  Grew up in the Transkei, so I have been a witness to the atrocities committed by the Xhosa men upon their women. Abuse is an accepted norm, amongst the amaBantu.  Now go on,  tell me I am a racist!!