And I personally have to wonder why you care.  None of what you said is the Catholic Church--but granting it is, so what?  If you really believe that--why stay?  If you are unhappy with the leadership, beliefs, practices, customs, and direction of the Catholic Church, no one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to stay.

The American Catholic Church may be the Church for you.  They have the appearances of Catholicism, meaning the high church theatrics and pageantry of the Catholic Church, but they have the liberal, secular, atheistic humanistic theology you are looking for.