So, how did you see Benedict or JPII as "judgmental" or not wishing to include others?  How did they deny the goodness and value of a person?

The "value" of a church teaching, in itself, is in what way it accords with truth... not some wishy-washy "truth to me", or an erroneous understanding of sensus fidelium as "current market research," but an objective reality that one will recognize if one believes that it is the Spirit guiding the Church, the hierarchy (of which you and I are a part) as promised by Christ.