Joan, childhood sexual self-experimentation is a perfectly normal way that a human being discovers what brings him/her pleasure or pain.  This is a universal behavior engaged in by all people at one time or another in their lives.  I am not judging you, but you yourself said that such activity is "intrinsically and gravely disordered." By your statement you have therefore said that all humans are intrinsically and gravely disorder at one time or another in their lives.  My other comment is directed at anyone who can influence children in a potentially, and yes, I said potentially, damaging way by teaching such negative attitudes about sexuality.  Again, this is just one of many factors in psychosexual development.  What did Jesus say about all of this?  He said nothing!  I hold to my belief that the church needs to re-think it's negative, shame inducing approach to this subject. If a child's first experiment with sex is seen as shameful what can that guilt develop into later in life?