I first left The RCC when I was 19 -- majoring in philosophy and minoring in world religions (now "comparative religions" at colleges/universities) did that for me.  But I couldn't admit it to myself and certainly not to anyone else -- too much guilt.  After all, I had been devoutly Catholic, going to daily Mass from the time I received my First Communion until, well, I continued to go until my first child was two months old.  At 20 I married a Catholic man.  I raised my children Catholic (and I am glad I did).  And it wasn't until my early 30s that I could actually say out loud that I was no longer Catholic.  And I became very suicidal for about 6 months.  Thank goodness, I started therapy counseling with a very liberal RC woman who was The Director of Adult Formation at one of the largest RC parishes in Southern CA.  (To be continued.)