Absolutely agree.  The annulment issue doesn't get to the heart of what ails us.  We focus on marriages that fall apart due to failings of one or both spouses.  I see a lot of that in my mental health career, but many other problems rarely get any air time.  Some Catholic married couples have canonically valid marriages, but after 30, 40, 50 years, relationships have grown resentful, strained and superficial.  They stay married for whatever reason but instead of "the joy of love" it is an endurance contest.  Some clergy hold immature ideas of what marriage is like-my husband and I help with the marriage prep weekend and we have to give "Father" advice to stop encouraging unrealistic ideas.  We want to label certain behaviors as "unselfish" or "kind," but conflict avoidance and running from emotional discomfort is the true motivation.  Real self giving and mutual love involves painful but rewarding self-examination and vulnerability, and a lot of us never want to go there.