dennism, why do you torture yourself ? Why torture yourself into staying? Why not just move on. Join another church or church community if the "exclusively male hierarchy is itself" so bad, abusive, theologically inconsistent to your mind, conscience? Reading your post is like scanning a moment of terror? Why do this to yourself, inhale such toxic smoke of "animosity," especially if others are -- millions of other US Catholics -- not bothered at all as you are, actually like the church? It just seems so counter-productive and unhealthy.