A monogamous, faithful couple (married to one person for life, and open to the fruits of their unity) and a faithful, sacrificing celibate priest share and live FAR more an understanding of God's definition of love than the majority of married adults!

Why should the Church take instructions from people who have chosen not to live such self-gift, who've had multiple partners, who do adultery, who seek sex outside of their union with their spouse, who reject God's gift of fruitful love?

Remember the goal of marriage isn't 'marriage' or sex..it's heroic love.  

And the Church uses Jesus's own self-gift as the benchmark.    

It doesn't use Eros.

Splitting the gift of marital intimacy isn't full self-gift.