Whoa!!!!

You specify "the Church" and the "Magisterium" as the authority---then you firmly deny ("not me, not you") that life of the lay, to coin a term,  is part of the authority of the Church and the Magisterium.

 That dichotomy, as stated, has to mean we aren't the Church. You present a vertical authority structure that Groucho Marx would like: "I can't be part of any Church that would have me as a member." 

I love the motto: "All Are Welcome. But Not Me, Not You. Not Now."