I am Catholic.  I find strength and joy in my faith in ways, perhaps, that you do not.  But the same holds true for you - what gives you strength just may not be what gives me strength.  We do not all live out the Catholic faith in exactly the same thing - we don't all like the same music, the same form of Mass.  Many of us do not believe all the magisterium says, but I do believe most listen, weigh, pray, discuss issues.  Some of us arrive at different conclusions on some things than others do.  

I would like to think there is room within the Catholic faith for both of us.  I am perfectly okay with your seeking perfection in our faith your way.  May we both grow in peace, wisdom, and God's grace.