So why is the Catholic Church placing additional burdens on people rather than helping them?  Having an abusive or mental ill ex is a difficult burden enough without a nosy Catholic Church bureaucrat saying that the only way you can reconcile the Catholic Church is by starting a process that the victim knows will specifically set the abuser off.  That doesn't strike me as very nice or Christian.  Religion should be about helping people deal with their problems in their lives; it shouldn't be about placing additional burdens on them.