Thanks, fs, for your weighty reply. I appreciate the effort and time that went into it.

I have one problem, though. I am a 'cradle' Catholic, initiated into the Church through Baptism, Eucharist and Confirmation. But I am not in 'full communion' with the Bishop of Rome. Nor do I wish to be, for fear of losing my immortal soul. 

I actually consider myself a better Catholic than successive such bishops, since my moral views are more in line with the teachings of Christ. Am I still a Catholic? Or is Roman Catholicism more about serving the institutional arm of the Church rather than its 'founder', Jesus Christ? Because those arbitrary definitions of what it means to be Catholic do suggest this.