Bro. Noel,

Forty years ago, deep in earnest prayer, The Lord spoke to me through the Holy Spirit, bringing to remembrance the scripture about the demoniac, whom Jesus had healed. He wanted to go with Jesus.  He was climbing into the boat, but Jesus forbid him.  He told him, "Go back home, tell people what God has done for you."

I am the demoniac Jesus healed and saved.  And Jesus doesn't want me in the boat with Him.  I can't be that type of disciple.  I'm not fit.  I'm fit for other work.  I'm like the demoniac Jesus Healed.  I'm not like Moses.

I'm like Peter. I hang on to the Lord and tell him to depart from me, "I am a sinful man."  "Peter said unto him, Though I should die with thee, yet will I not deny thee."   I do not trust my heart Bro. Noel. I'm just like Peter.   I hear the Lord speaking harshly to me, He says to me, "Get thee behind me Satan." 

Our experiences under the Spirit's tutelage are not exactly the same.