I don't know your American-Catholic experience, but I do see what's going on:

We rationalize cozying up with those who condemn our theological essentials just because they agree on the cultural non-essentials. Our ancestors wouldn't like that. At. All. 

And our ancestors would fight to defend the Catholic family where folks at the table disagree on the Church non-essentials all the time. So, they'd fight (probably literally) against, say, a cardinal who suggests they not invite a gay family member and his partner to THEIR Thanksgiving dinner. 

Yes, some of our ancestors followed Father Coughlin. But most--by a long shot--despised the Right's interference with their culture...their faith...their family values.