I'm sorry that your church disappointed you so much, Nora. God still has a purpose for you in your life. I read this parable again yesterday;

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and in his joy he went and sold all he had and bought that field.”

The kingdom of heaven is salvation, the field is the world, and the treasure hidden in the field is You. The man is Jesus. He looked down upon the world and saw You. Such was His joy when He found You that He buried You away in safety until the time that He could come into the world Himself to save and redeem You. When He finally came into the world as a man, He gave up everything that He had in order to buy back the world because He knew that He had buried and kept You, a treasure, safe within it,