These glimpses of Jesus's way with this woman don't show Jesus "in such a poor light" at all.

What a shallow reading. 

With a tiny bit of work, they show Jesus to be incredibly wise & long-viewed in every single action of His. 

Jesus is always...by every action, by every question, by every miracle, even by His drawing in sand, trying to bring about the GREATEST good, not just in the immediate circumstances of the scene in Holy Scripture, but today, now, in your life and in my life. Every moment of all of our lives can be "divinely washed" by every action of Jesus, every word, and yes every "hesitancy" or "change of mind" of His.

Jesus wants total union with us, and that may mean "more time" "more waiting" more enlisting of others in our problem (more unity, more community).

Let's stop with the top level, trendy, quasi political interpretation of Scripture here ("challenging boundaries"!), and go deeper into the incredible good that Jesus, who is God, is trying to do "within us".