Continued,
However, you do  not realize that indeed you became a 'better person', whether CI (Catholic Institution) was corrupt with hindsight or not.  
   
".. if those at the top don't share that desire for that great yes, then why do this at all?"
No, I myself can't do with 'those at the top', however, I can't stop my spiritual journey to God, my true self, regardless of how sick 'those at the top' are!
 
In fact, I was falling apart, last three years, I could not sleep at night in tears thinking about those suffering sex abused children and their families.  I thought that we are for sure living 'h@ll' on earth.  
Just a while ago I realized that I have met so many 'better' Catholics on this NCR posting sights that indeed Lord was with me all along!