Dejain:  You ask some difficult questions......and, not surprisingly, there are no easy answers.  It's very difficult, as you so well note, to have a rational conversation on an emotional topic.  IMO, religious beliefs are "faith based" and, by definition, are visceral, not intellectual.  Additionally, IMO, conservative Christians have an "absolutist" position and simply cannot compromise on doctrine; if they are "right", you must be "wrong"....if you are "right", they must be "wrong."  There is really no room for conversation and the exchange of views.  They're going to heaven, the rest of us are going to hell.  The only way that can change is for the rest of us to accept their beliefs.......IMO, that makes for a rather short conversation.  regards, Gary Crum