Following that further, baptism is only valid if by immersion in the Jordan River.

Clearly that is not the argument John Paul II or orthodox Catholics make.  You're swinging for the fences and you missed.

I invite you to finish the argument as an orthodox Catholic might.  Just what element is missing from your straw-man, or for that matter mine about baptism above?  John Paul II spent 1/3 of Ordinatio Sacerdotalis filling in the rest.  How did he do it?