I had the pleasure once of being involved in a mission church where service to the poor and disenfranchised was the core witness. Half-year and year-long sabbaticals were offered so that parishioners could participate more fully in the process and the church ran a bakery staffed by formerly homeless persons. This unified purpose brought everyone together--a lot of polarities disappeared because there was no need to talk about them. 

Concerning the hot buttons . . . sometimes it's also necessary to stick your neck out. Has anyone been following the Aussie referendum on SSM? Two-thirds of Catholics will vote yes. The heads of two prestigious Catholic colleges issued public statements defying the Church's ban, saying, "there is almost total unanimity among the young in favour of same-sex marriage, and arguments against will have almost no impact on them," and people can have sex "for reasons beyond procreation." Hope NCR picks this up.

Both of these tactics are needed to change things.