I moved away, the climate changed, I no longer feel at home. when the laity was needed it brought us closer together, we made it our own. It is difficult to go back to sitting passively in the pews. An air of legalism took over and the lack of welcome to all left me out of kilter. Now living in a senior housing development, cut off from the present parish by limited transportation I find my need for spiritual food by participating via the internet in a reformed synagogue. I felt drawn to look for Jesus at the source, to understand the culture he and the apostles lived, what formed them. I feel sadness for the church who gave me so much and to whom I gave nearly 80 years of my energy. The animosity expressed here from people I guess are learned and in position of leadership makes me shake my head. I yearn for the church I experienced growing up in France, Praying with the Gelineau Psalms, signing the Credo and the Magnificat at home when the mood struck.