Kevin,
Those are great questions, but ones where I will not let myself trod.  The details of the spiritual lives of others is their business.  I would go so far as to suggest that by definition, it is an intensely personal matter, so I'm not even sure we can adequately describe our journeys to each other if we tried

That said, I really DO believe that a very good indicator of a healthy spiritual life can be inferred through the fruits of that life.  When I see someone truly compassionate, truly loving, truly caring for others, my sense is not to say, "Oh, that person is a good Catholic (Lutheran, Jew, Muslim, etc...)  Rather, I find myself with the sense that the person has a healthy spirutuality, and is one in all likelihood actively seeking God.

THAT's part of why the scandal is so vexing: We're just not seeing that from these guys.  SOME of them likely to try to reach out, and may even have established something good.  But for most, it's the great silence, and no accountability.