Hello John,
I wish I could give you 100 stars!  God bless you!
I thought I was seeking God mostly independent of clergies.  However, after this Sex abuse problem hit my home diocese, which I could not avoid, that I realized how much I relied on the clergies, at least their personal/religious integrity.  It feels like a middle wall, clergies, which shielded me from the world is crumbling down.  The Church was a sacred place, a sort of refuge, joyous place where my soul could breath and converse with God.  Now it is a hideous place where clergies sexually raped children!  It almost feel as though the devils are lurking in the corners!  Now I need to stay outside of church to breath.   I find some of posters on NCR the presence of Christ's helping hands!