I wonder if it is more of a generational divide, or if there was something specific for your or my generation that makes us diametrically opposed in how we understand not only Christ and his Church, but the very purpose and experience of  the ritual he instituted. 

It would great if there was an in depth study on this. 

I can't put myself in your shoes, but would I'd guess that it could have something to do with you coming to mass expecting to give and work? I usually approach the mass with the expectation of receiving, and preparing to receive in a meditative manner. The silence especially leaves a profound impact on me.