Good grief!!  What perverted poor excuse for a nun or priest taught you your Catholicism?  I find it hard to believe anyone ever taught you these things.  My own father --- one of the most sexually conservative Catholics I ever knew --- absolutely reveled in marital sexuality and taught us to think of it as one of God's greatest gifts.  Conservative and old-school as he was, he could not have  had a more healthy, joyous attitude towards sex.  There wasn't a slither of daylight between what the Church taught him and the way he lived that lesson.  Do yourself a favor:  Get some counselling from a good, manly priest.