It's understandable that one relate one's life to segments of age, or development- from childhood-adolescence-etc. This is a fruitful reflection. What you describe in implicit terms, is a life that is also measured by your experience along the way and how it affects you; how you related/relate whether to change, intransigence, or a combination of both. I heard part of an interview with Trevor Noah on growing-up in South Africa.  That was the closest I have come to just listening to "being black" and not tinged with resistance to one's treatment. 
I write this with respect - you sound so much like people I know, or would like to know yet with the acknowledged difference - within and without - of being of colour.
The "difference" though is only hinted at. Maybe you could shed light - being black, catholic, (apparently) of the cafeteria, in a Church you obviously love, an institution that finds excuses for not loving you as a peer because of being "woman". How "black" frames this. Thanks.