I believe the relevant Bible phrase is that they will know we are Christians by our love.  If "they" don't get that, then all of the rest of these problems come into play.  The good bishop here wants people to stay in church because God wants it that way.  That's awful nice, but I think the people who leave are not compelled to stay because that love we are supposed to have isn't very compelling.

Now, as a parent of adults, let me advise the bishop that their experiences will count for them more than mine will because they have been raised now. They should and will make the decisions for their own lives, and that God remains God during that process.  If they don't feel loved (respected? listened to? led? challenged?), they won't be there.  The onus is on us, not them.  And bluntly, "You are wrong and you should do what I say," is not how you love an adult.  It is how you love a small child.  Tobin describes well how to empty a church.