Every thing you stated was a mirror of my youth.  Except I went out to bars with my girlfriends to hook up with cute guys.  

I even, to some degree, agree with your statements on sex in marriage except I find no reason not to enjoy it fully with each other - I don't think God has any problem with people thoroughly enjoying sex with one's spouse whether or not you want to have children.  I agree with sex being an enjoyable part of marriage's love but not the main source of that love.  Core Marital Love needs to based on a Holy Spirit infused friendship between siblings in Christ.  That being said if my husband were not expressing any outward symptom of having an orgasm during sex, I would be concerned that he was not very satisfied in our marriage, as this is a joy, and should be a part of marital satisfaction for both unless there is some kind of physical problem.   I would at least work with him to see if we could not have him enjoy sex more.