I judge behavior.  If I could be a deacon per our laws but black men couldn't because instead of being sexist our church was racist, and I sought out ordination to the deaconate even though it is racist - what kind of person am I?  

Evil shows itself forward from inside a person through how they are willing to treat or ignore other people when they could be a voice to help them.  We are called to stand up as Christians for equal justice, equal and same treatment, including equal ordination criteria, as a matter of upholding equal and same human dignity, despite what it may cost us for doing so.  When we are not willing to do that because we want what we want more than we care about others then we show ourselves not fit for any leadership role in the church. 

All the evidence is clear.  Originally, the bishops were considering ordaining women deacons when they started ordaining male permanent deacons.  None of the male deacons spoke up for their wives or their sisters so we have none.