I'm a serious person, not an angry person--- or at least that's my goal.

Lot's of people have intense emotional events that may color their opinion for a lifetime.  It seems you have had a significant emotional event(s) at some point, because your anger has been pretty palpable since you started posting.    

That is not a criticism.   I'm can't feel what you feel, but in no way do I diminish your experience

I do not like the gender roles defined by many churches.  I do not believe them to be in line with the larger vision of Jesus and his own view of universality of all life.  You would be wrong if you assume all Christians are chauvenist, but you're completely right that many are.   

God as mother has always seemed far more life affirming  to me.   Personally I don't think of God as male or female.

Mathew 22:30  "In the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. Instead, they will be like the angels in heaven"  Angels have no gender.