"I have thought a lot about the issue and have come to the conclusion that the average middle-income working mother in this situation has exactly four choices: 1) get divorced, 2) lower your standards and live in filth, 3) throw money at the problem and make the necessary material sacrifice."

I would suggest that Option #2 is one reason why men tend not to engage in this discussion.   It's black and white: either you agree 100% with the woman or you live "in filth".  There is no room whatsoever for discussion about what needs to be done and what is, in reality, optional.   Even the male writer that she mentions in the article called for living "in squalor".   Such a dichotomy is not truthful or useful.

A lot of us, both men and women, go to work each day and make decisions about priorities in the face of finite resources.  Why does that reality fall by the wayside when at home?

Why participate when the answer is pre-determined?