Now now,  you know that white folk only commit victimless crimes.  And it only happens in the matsu, but the meth heads there are not really white.  And the heroin junkies in the kenai area?  They just look white.  And if you kill someone with your car and leave the scene?  Just tell everyone you ran over a mangy mutt, we will break down the charges to a misdemeanor.  Got to love Anchorage, where only the minorities commit crime.  And by the way, all the criminals live in Mt. View and you know that no white folk live in that area.