Just some fun fact checking on your funny facts:

Republican leaning states receive more tax dollars than they pay: True only if you include military expenditures, which the state has little say in, and if you include social security and medicare recipients, who have arguably paid in what they're getting back.

Your typical welfare recipient is most likely to be a rural white Republican: Not true. 40% of welfare recipients are white (while whites are 63% of the population), meaning "your typical welfare recipient" is likely not-white.

93 of 100 poorest counties are in red states: True if you use income to define what's "poor". But most are in rural areas with substantially lower costs of living than urban areas.

If you are really arguing that the poorest counties are "poor" (low income) because they vote Republican, then you can also say welfare recipients are on welfare because they vote Democratic.