The issue is maturing in one's capacity to love others, not getting stuck with a preteen's need for black and white thinking characterized by defining their individuality in contrast to others.  The problem I have with orthodox Catholics is they seem to define God as basically up above and against humanity where as Jesus incarnates the whole principle of God within humanity as one of us,  and it's how we treat each other in compassion and love that is the definition of a follower of Jesus.