This should bring some calm and rational comments.

In the left corner, wearing the sequined rainbow shorts weighing in at a svelte 175lbs THE RAINBOOOOOWWWW WARRIOR!

In the right corner, wearing the camouflage  cargo pants pulled up to his chest, weighing in at 230 lbs, the Redneck Brawler.

Ladies and gentlemen and bisexuals and queers and transgenders lets get ready to COMMENT RUMBLE!