Now, now, Don, it's all true. And I hope you are not a priest or you are in serious trouble. Our Lady of...... (choose any one)  said that it's 70x7 the punishment for priests for category B sins, and the tariff goes off the scale if it's a cat. A. Double it if you are gay. HOWEVER, go to 9 Friday Masses (make sure they are consecutive) and offer them up for the Popes intentions, throw incense over your left shoulder, and some of the category B sins will be overlooked - but only if you are NOT gay. 

Yip, Don, its all true.