It is only messy because you’ve conflated two issues.

Jesus had no problem at all pointing out and condemning sin, and withholding forgiveness from the unrepentant. He was not Santa Claus.

From the Catholic perspective the primary human rights involve freedom from attack or persecution for orientation. From the Catholic perspective there is no right to same sex marriage or to compel others to violate their religious beliefs by participating in same sex marriages in any way.

From a civil law standpoint, the issue of rights and whether they are violated are a matter of the law, first the Constitution, then statutes.

So there are two discussions: what should a Catholic advocate for in the way of laws; what are the laws and what should they be?

The two may not be in synch.