I admire you for considering your situation as you do, and especially for giving such high regard to the interests of your son, and showing him loving protection.

"Hell-bound" strikes me as too pre-emptive a condemnation, on the church's part, for it to be strictly accurate; Catholic moralists usually speak to the effect that no one is destined to damnation, and there's hope for everyone, provided due repentance (and self-obliteration?) precede. But in fact I don't know the actual "teaching" on transgender people, which could be distinct from what is said about gay people.

Much more important, though, is the actual respect you are or are not receiving from the Catholics around you. And if it's not there, or you can't count on it, then you do the right thing to seek out a truly welcoming Christian community. Best wishes.

Interesting that you're in Charlotte, which has sort of become Ground Zero for transgender rights. How your government has betrayed you!