Lw1: Don't defensively assume the worst automatically. Starting by saying, “One of my kids suffered his whole life as a female” is overly dramatic, even if it's true, and may even sound sarcastic to some people. I'd guess it may be contributing to some of the blank looks you're getting. Regarding the reactions of others, it's normal for people to be disoriented when they learn about a major life event that has occurred, especially when it is a change in how they think of the individual. Unless the one lady was being dishonest in her surprise, you were unnecessarily rude yourself, not just facetious. I understand you're trying to be supportive, but you're not doing your son or other transgender individuals any favors that way. The simple “Well, one is now a male” or "Sally is now Sal and has transitioned and is male" suggested by Weary53 is a quick way to answer the question without starting a long conversation or going into the details of your son's *personal life and medical business.