I remember the Christian gay advocate Mel White saying on TV years ago that if all the gay church musicians suddenly didn't appear for work at church there would be silence in Christendom. A similar scenario is true for the clergy as well. As a lesbian Episcopal priest I once knew said, "the church has run on gay power for centuries." It's just a pity that gay people can't be recognized for their hugely significant contribution to Holy Mother Church. Perhaps, as Jesus said, "your reward will be great in heaven." I certainly hope that's true for your sake.