"These same chefs wouldn't be ranting and raving against a Muslim refusing to serve them a bacon sandwich. "
No one was "ranting and raving" here (except, as we'll see, you) and it's unlikely a Muslim run restaurant would be serving bacon to begin with. You can't demand a product/service that's not on offer and claim discrimination when you don't get it.

"As a straight conservative guy..."
Of course you are, but why do you think that's relevant here?

"... I don't hang out at gay bars."
But you COULD and they couldn't bar you for your sexual orientation.

" I don't think they need to be shut down, or made to cater to me. I think they're fine doing what they do, and their customers are probably happy. Good for them!"
Bully for you.