I'm not commenting on the content of the various quarrels you have here or on the merit of your complaints. I am simply pointing out that when you are offended, you object. I'm suggesting that you could draw on that experience to understand why our lesbian and gay sisters and brothers object when they are offended; especially when they know that the person offending them is deliberately choosing language that is intended to offend. Indeed, the offense is not so much in the language as in the full, deliberate intention to offend.  This is not about political expediency.  It's about respect; it's about empathy.