It's not just looking at the face of your beloved child, who is kind, intelligent, compassionate, artistic, articulate, loving and seeing his tears. It's watching him become suicidal as he struggled to reconcile his orientation with the faith traditions of his parents. People tend to focus on the physical aspects of the gay relationship. But for him, the idea of living a life without companionship was more than he could bear.  He continues to struggle with loneliness. We live in a state with a very high teen suicide rate. Many of the successful suicide victims underwent the same struggles as my son, but often their families pushed them out or pushed them into damaging reparative therapy. Every time I hear of another suicide by a gay young person I realize that it could be mine.