Quit thinking Joan and ask people who do bondage why they find it liberating. It is because they had harsh discipline as children and this helps them work out those feelings.  Vanilla bondage without the ritual is pleasurable because it is a form of losing control. That is what orgasm is all about and why oral sodomy is also so necessary because some women cannot achieve orgasm any other way with someone else, which is something they are entitled to do.  I could frankly care less what asexuall oreinted bishops think of heterosexual practice when they are unaware that they even have a separate sexuality.  They have not given up heterosexuality, they never were attracted to anyone else in the first place.  If it was not considered disrespectful in today's culture, we would say that asexuals have an attachment disorder, but now we just accept them, but they need to accept their own difference and quit instructing us by their standards.