LW1 Wow, I saw red. Your 'friend' is either a fool or in deep denial if she thinks someone with anger management issues only ever reacts with one person. His coworkers could probably tell stories. She says this man is emotionally and verbally abusive and she's just going to blithely leave a little girl who is already scarred by her start in life with him? Yes he's nice to the child on visits. I'm sure he was nice to her when they were dating ... at least enough to get her to marry him. He wants the little girl. Once he has the little girl is another matter. Children are not toys to be "gifted". They won't sit in a little rocker when you aren't interested. And they do lots of things just being kids that would try a saint's patience and he's no saint ... but then neither is she. Do what you can to stop this and then unfriend the woman. If she would do this to a 4 year old imagine what she'll do to you if it is to her advantage, and that's what this adoption is, to her advantage.