It's so much easier to be charitable to strangers than to forgive your family for not "honoring" you in an expensive way.  Having to affirm how special you are is exhausting enough; having to pay $100 a plate for lunch when you don't care about the fundraiser is not something everyone wants to suck up.
You are a grown woman with kids.  You don't need mommy and daddy's approval, nor should you "be sad" to punish them when they won't pony up to kiss your ring.