Hi James. As a domestic violence survivor, let me try to explain how it works. You don't go on a date and he slaps you pretty hard across the face and says "this is how the relationship is going to be, you ok with that?" It takes years of conditioning your victim. Starting usually with comments about how worthless you are. Women will believe that because what he said might be because I can't cook well, I left something out on the floor that made him slip, etc. After this, they point out that really nobody likes you, they are all usually his friends and they only put up with you because they love him. Believable enough when you rarely see the friends you had before, as isolating you from family and your group of friends is normally the case. How can we allow them to do that? It happens before you even realize what is happening. Then come the (usually) physical abuse. You didn't do this right, smack you around. It gets bolder, punching, kicking, etc. It happens over time.