I've given you a hard time about your attitude toward women, but I think, if one removes gender, that you are mostly right about the roots of conflict,    It would apply to Any two people as well.   (For that matter any two teams , organizations, dare we say nations?)

I'd also add that equity of power also making a huge difference in the relationship dynamic, equal or unequal.   If one uses power to intimidate and frighten the other person, they alone are the one escalating the violence.     

No two fights have the same story.   You are correct, we should not make assumptions about the nature of the relationship, no matter the gender,

Honestly I think most all of these conflicts end up in court, which, while not perfect, at least provides a forum for both sides.   We writers aren't much more than the rabble with signs outside the courthouse that never hear testimony   :-)