So, Your Eminence, Trump has "convinced" you, has he? That's wonderful. But tell me, just how did he do it?

Was it his longstanding record on pro-life issues? Was it his deep respect for human sexuality and his demonstrated moral temperance? How about the profound respect he has always shown for women and his demonstrated concern for their well-being?

No? It wasn't any of those things? Well then, what was it? Oh, I see. He said it when he decided to run for president. Of course, makes perfect sense.

If you don't mind my saying so, I think your zuchetto might be a bit too tight. Just sayin'.