I think you fail to do a generalization of the story about one particular individual to the wider picture of the rules for clerics.  See my comment above regarding my cousin (who is no where near 90).  Even horses who wear blinders and are serious in plowing the field know there is a more than that. If we ALL don't press the Church to always put the person first, then we are part of the problem, and cannot legitimately claim to be emulating Jesus Christ.  As for women as deacons, they don't exist yet and may not for quite a few decades.  Let's deal with what we have before us.