I believe they exaggerate own importance relative to others believing that others must yield to all whims.  She believes she controls the universe.  That sort of woman is driven by fear.  Fear that she will not control some aspect.  Others are not permitted to be people.  I've seen this arrangement of personality traits.  It's not comfortable and not one I choose to allow in my life.  One in 25 persons these days is a full on sociopath.  Deselfers are really bad to have around children.  They love however to take complete charge of them.  They tell others where to sit; when to take their next breath,etc.  Where to stand.  They are always looking for ways to enlarge their influence and control.  However, at some point they manifest an illness.  They are never sorry for anything they do to others.  If a suggestion is made about how to interact more enjoyably they react and interpret suggestions as an attack and react like they are.  For starters.  Read the Road Less Traveled by Dr. Peck.