{"action":"created","comment":{"url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/pulls/comments/60863572","id":60863572,"diff_hunk":"@@ -72,50 +72,57 @@ OK, jungle. And you tell tall tales around the fire, right?\n And you want to hear mine? \n OK, Duke, I owe you. So here it goes. \n \n+#####The transition between this first paragraph and the second one is a bit rough. The character talks to a person named Duke and then it suddenly goes to Gummy. While it's established that there are multiple people the narrator is talking to, it's a bit confusing as there is a jarring jump.\n What do you mean, Gummy? It's the plain truth. I will tell it to you exactly like \n it happened.  Yes, sir, I'm sure, what are you, a fuckin' people's court?  \n Do I have to take the oath or what?\n \n Alright, then. This is the real story of how I came to be in the\n possession of Manuel the Man-Made Man. It starts in Mobile, which is\n-only fitting, given the circus obsession with phrases with words that\n-all start the same. Mobile, yes, time ago it was in Alabama, but now\n-it is a rough and tumble harbor town close to the border of the United\n+only fitting, given the circus obsession with phrases that\n+all start the same.  Ah, Mobile. Long ago it was in Alabama, but now\n+it is a rough-and-tumble harbor town close to the border of the United\n All Races People's Republic of Florida. That's a pretty long name for\n a place that starts at Pascagoula in the West and and goes no further\n-than Brunswick in the East, if only our people have their way. Which\n+than Brunswick in the East, <i>if only our people have their way. Which\n they will, I have no doubt as a loyal citizen of the Republic.  Every\n dawning day brings new brothers to our new republic. Brothers of all\n-races, creeds and dispositions.\n-\n+races, creeds and dispositions.</i>\n+#####The last part where I italicized is a bit confusing.  What people? What way? I think if you maybe explained it a little more or put a transition here (like a sentence), it would make the part less confusing.\n OK, you all know that, no hooting, on with the story. But you all\n-reckon now I'm a loyal Republic citizen, ain't I? \n+reckon now I'm a loyal Republic citizen, right? \n \n So. It was early winter, but the weather was still sunny and mild. I was walking\n-along the docks, as I was wont to do. The air was clear and I could see ships\n-docking and leaving, ships from all our sister nations of the world, Spain, Cuba, \n-Colombia, Puerto Rico, but also from not-so-friendly places \n-who decided the buck needn't stop here and had resumed trade as soon as the\n+along the docks, as I like to do. The air was clear, and I could see ships\n+docking and leaving, ships from all our sister nations of the world, like Spain, Cuba, \n+Colombia, and Puerto Rico. There were also some from not-so-friendly places \n+who decided the buck #Not sure what the buck is? needn't stop here and had resumed trade as soon as the\n smoke from the Freedom War settled down and become the smoke of the\n-smokestacks built during the Planazo. Formerly unfriendly places like  \n-the imperialist United Kingdom, the Austrohungarian Empire, those bohunks... The\n-air swarmed also with the airships about to dock or leave from the\n-airship port, the Spanish clover-fronted ones, the elegant Cubans,\n-even the odd bulky and slumbering American, you could just spend the\n+smokestacks built during the Planazo. \n+####This is a run-on sentence, but I'm not sure what the best way to divide this is. \n+Formerly unfriendly places like the imperialist United Kingdom, the Austrohungarian Empire, those bohunks... \n+####What is a bohunk?\n+The air swarmed also with the airships about to dock or leave from the\n+airship port.  There were the Spanish clover-fronted ones, the elegant Cubans, and\n+even the odd bulky and slumbering American. You could just spend the\n whole day looking at them, slowly realizing they were no longer in the\n place you had first spotted them, in the middle of a cloud, or watching them\n appearing nose first from the middle of another. Yes, Gummy, they do look like that \n sometimes. If that's what you're thinking about. Which you, no doubt, are.\n \n I was there, looking up and down while strolling alongside the docks, minding my \n own business, which was precisely what I was looking for at that early moment of \n-the day. I needed a hire, was looking to work for somebody who needed a quick \n+the day. \n+#####A bit awkward here, but the idea is clear.  The phrasing just needs a little work. ","path":"text/text.md","position":62,"original_position":62,"commit_id":"05322cf73628ff9fc84b3130cce49a96b8d43dab","original_commit_id":"05322cf73628ff9fc84b3130cce49a96b8d43dab","user":{"login":"JJ","id":500,"avatar_url":"https://avatars.githubusercontent.com/u/500?v=3","gravatar_id":"","url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ","html_url":"https://github.com/JJ","followers_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/followers","following_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/following{/other_user}","gists_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/gists{/gist_id}","starred_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/starred{/owner}{/repo}","subscriptions_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/subscriptions","organizations_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/orgs","repos_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/repos","events_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/events{/privacy}","received_events_url":"https://api.github.com/users/JJ/received_events","type":"User","site_admin":false},"body":"Any suggestion?","created_at":"2016-04-25T05:20:31Z","updated_at":"2016-04-25T05:20:31Z","html_url":"https://github.com/JJ/hoborg/pull/11#discussion_r60863572","pull_request_url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/pulls/11","_links":{"self":{"href":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/pulls/comments/60863572"},"html":{"href":"https://github.com/JJ/hoborg/pull/11#discussion_r60863572"},"pull_request":{"href":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/pulls/11"}}},"pull_request":{"url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/pulls/11","id":67648165,"html_url":"https://github.com/JJ/hoborg/pull/11","diff_url":"https://github.com/JJ/hoborg/pull/11.diff","patch_url":"https://github.com/JJ/hoborg/pull/11.patch","issue_url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/issues/11","number":11,"state":"open","locked":false,"title":"Revised and left comments on \"A walk in the sun.\"","user":{"login":"aprilyou","id":17367633,"avatar_url":"https://avatars.githubusercontent.com/u/17367633?v=3","gravatar_id":"","url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou","html_url":"https://github.com/aprilyou","followers_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/followers","following_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/following{/other_user}","gists_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/gists{/gist_id}","starred_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/starred{/owner}{/repo}","subscriptions_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/subscriptions","organizations_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/orgs","repos_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/repos","events_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/events{/privacy}","received_events_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/received_events","type":"User","site_admin":false},"body":"Just comments on things that were a bit unclear/vague and grammar mistakes.  You have a distinct style of writing, and I think that gives a nice color to your narrator. :)","created_at":"2016-04-24T20:02:07Z","updated_at":"2016-04-25T05:20:31Z","closed_at":null,"merged_at":null,"merge_commit_sha":"97ac44b1717a48020d33b893321df1d0aa5e54d3","assignee":null,"milestone":null,"commits_url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/pulls/11/commits","review_comments_url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/pulls/11/comments","review_comment_url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/pulls/comments{/number}","comments_url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/issues/11/comments","statuses_url":"https://api.github.com/repos/JJ/hoborg/statuses/05322cf73628ff9fc84b3130cce49a96b8d43dab","head":{"label":"aprilyou:master","ref":"master","sha":"05322cf73628ff9fc84b3130cce49a96b8d43dab","user":{"login":"aprilyou","id":17367633,"avatar_url":"https://avatars.githubusercontent.com/u/17367633?v=3","gravatar_id":"","url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou","html_url":"https://github.com/aprilyou","followers_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/followers","following_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/following{/other_user}","gists_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/gists{/gist_id}","starred_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/starred{/owner}{/repo}","subscriptions_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/subscriptions","organizations_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/orgs","repos_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/repos","events_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/events{/privacy}","received_events_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/received_events","type":"User","site_admin":false},"repo":{"id":54873295,"name":"hoborg","full_name":"aprilyou/hoborg","owner":{"login":"aprilyou","id":17367633,"avatar_url":"https://avatars.githubusercontent.com/u/17367633?v=3","gravatar_id":"","url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou","html_url":"https://github.com/aprilyou","followers_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/followers","following_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/following{/other_user}","gists_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/gists{/gist_id}","starred_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/starred{/owner}{/repo}","subscriptions_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/subscriptions","organizations_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/orgs","repos_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/repos","events_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/events{/privacy}","received_events_url":"https://api.github.com/users/aprilyou/received_events","type":"User","site_admin":false},"private":false,"html_url":"https://github.com/aprilyou/hoborg","description":"A 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