TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
PROBLEM: Text: this happened almost like two minutes ago; i haven't even closed the reddit app since then.


to preface, my five year old loves watching me play games. she especially loves anything where you battle robots of some kind. 


zelda botw was a big hit with the guardians or, as she calls them, "spider launchers." so much of a hit that she wants to be link for halloween.


she also loves anything with a female protagonist. needless to say, when i recently played nier: automata, (which she so fittingly named "girls and robots") it was practically a revelation. 2b is pretty much the coolest thing ever to this kid. she makes me play the soundtrack to the game anytime we're in the car. even the frozen phase we went thorough pales in comparison to the titan that is 2b.


so here's where the fu comes in. we're cuddled up on the couch; paw patrol or something is going on in the background and i'm absent-mindedly browsing reddit when i get the bright idea to search for 2b cosplays to show her. so i pull up reddit's famously powerful search feature and go for it, not thinking that 2b has become prime waifu material and reddit has a tendency to take that and crank it up over 9000.



so i pull up the first couple which are pretty much just pg and incredibly well done. she's getting excited, all like "is that the real 2b it just a girl dressed up like her?" and "how did you get that picture on your phone?" 


she doesn't understand the wonders if the internet yet... and i completely forgot exactly what it was the internet is for.


she's totally stoked now and we're scrolling on down and i notice the thumbnail of one picture is clearly hinting that the full picture is going to be leaving a little less of 2b to the imagination than a five year old should be seeing. but no problem, we'll just quickly scroll on by that one... oh my god some of these go the full monte right in the thumbnail!


cue "daddy, what was 2b doing with her boobies?"and "why was 2b doing that with her butt?" and, of course, "daddy, why did we have to stop looking at pictures of 2b? i wanted to see her..."


i just hope she forgets the whole thing before she says something weird to my wife.


 

edit: darn homonyms...

SOLUTION: TIFU by showing my kid pictures from Reddit.

PROBLEM: Text: i just started as a project manager for an information security vendor. i'm on a call with vps, svps and directors of our client.  
  
my role is to explain what we're doing to non technical people. so i'm on a bunch of hour long calls where i might talk for five minutes.  
  
my cat, donut, walks into my home office and trills for attention. he's missing his collar, a likely casualty of a skirmish with fishy, the other 3 year old cat.  
  
me:"donut, where's your collar?"  
  
donut:""  
  
me:"donut, you know it's not a symbol of slavery or domination. it's to make sure if you ever get lost outside, someone can bring you back to your life of luxury..."  
  
donut:""  
  
me, rubbing donut's belly:"who's a fat little donut? who's a fat little donut cat... yes you are..."  
  
svp in charge of compliance:"who is that talking?"  
  
me:"uhh, sorry. i thought i was muted..."  
  
i haven't received any meeting invites to talk to hr yet, but i'm sure i'm going to pay for this.

SOLUTION: TIFU by not muting myself during a con call and talking baby talk to my cat.

PROBLEM: Text: reddit, this is a big fu for me. i feel so dumb right now. this my first season really getting into fantasy football - like actually doing research and understanding how it works (not doing too bad by the way! 5-5 currently with a ton of injuries) but i've been fucking up this whole time. 

how you may ask? well i'm poor and in college, so i have basic cable, and i'm limited to watching the only 2 games each week that are shown on tv. i still enjoy watching whichever teams are playing, but quality is limited and i obviously can't switch between all the nfl games. 

i take care of all tech issues for my dad, and today he asked me to call directtv to find out why we were charged extra for this month. i call and get a technician on the phone. i'll skip the boring conversation until it goes something like this: 

me: "we were supposed to be locked into a promotion when we signed on.. can you explain how much were supposed to be paying and what we're being charged for?"

tech: "sure! $47/mo for tv, $6 for a receiver... discounts... nfl sunday ticket included, free rec"

me: "wait hold the fuck up for 1 sec, did you just say we have nfl sunday ticket?"

tech: "yes, it's part of the promotion."

me: "hold on i don't believe you."

tech: "ok."

me: *proceeds to log into online directv account"

and there it was reddit. a big beautiful stream nfl football now button. i clicked it and low and behold the orgasmic wonderfulness of what is on demand football streaming is available at my fingertips. no more online streaming, no more shit cable, i have nfl sunday on directv.

for the last 10 weeks i've been fucking up by either limiting myself to basic cable (fuck you cox) or giving my beautiful computer the dirtiest of std malware by going in unprotected to online streaming sites.

SOLUTION:
TIFU by illegally streaming football this entire NFL season

