TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
PROBLEM: Text: oh boy, here we go

this fuck up actually happened today believe it or not, and it's the biggest one of my life.

i suppose we had better start back at the beginning. it's march 2015 and i'm a freshman in high school (all you math wizards out there can figure out i'm a sophomore now) and i've been introduced to a mutual friend of my friend. for all intents and purposes we'll call him will, because thats his name. he's overall a pretty nice guy, we shared the same interests. he also has a super religious family who are both racist and homophobic. over the course of the next few months he would ask if we were dating or not, and i would always say no, and i wasn't actually smart enough to realize that he wasn't kidding. it wasn't until today that i'd figured out that he'd told his friends that we were dating. i found this out because one of the people in his friend group made a casual reference to our "relationship." this is when things took a turn for the worse. 

in response i said, "we're not dating."

this caused a major uproar in our group, with one even saying, "you were the most stable relationship i knew and now you're telling me it never even existed?"

so far this doesn't even seem so bad right? well, here's where things go way bad.

for some reason, i figured the best plan of action would be to publicly denounce all relations with will and throw him under the bus. 

"hey guys, i'm not gay, but he is."

it was at this point i'd realized that we were in public, with some of his sisters friends. 

his sister was the most intolerant and religious person in his family.

it spread.

quickly.

this only happened earlier today, what should i do?

 

**edit:** *update:* will won't talk to me, in the class he usually sat by me in, he moved to the other side of the room. he's been suicidal in the past and i can only hope that he doesn't actually go through with it.

SOLUTION: TIFU by Coming Out as Straight and Simultaneously Telling Everyone My Friend Was Gay

PROBLEM: Text: well, like other posts, this didn't happen today, it happened last week. 

it was the day before my birthday. so i was hanging out with all my buddies, playing basketball and what not just having a good time.

as i headed out back home, i noticed that a little white car had been following me. it wasn't any big deal to me, so i blew it off. well, after 10 minutes of following me, it started to freak me out (i live 15 minutes out of town in the middle of no where) so i did what any other person would do and sped up. but the little white car sped up too and began to ride my ass. i was just trying to lose them, but they kept right on up. so i roll down my window and flip them off long and hard and continued to do so for about 10 more seconds. 

as i'm pulling up to my driveway, i put on my turn signal and so do they. so now i'm thinking, "here we go, this guy wants a fight". i park and get out while mean muggin them hard. as the door opens, and i see the face of my 65 year old pastor and his wife exit, i about pissed my pants. in my pastors wife hands, was a little birthday card. 

my pastor walked up and handed it to me and only said "mind your manners and happy birthday". from now on, i will never road rage again.

SOLUTION: TIFU by flipping off my pastor

PROBLEM: Text: obligatory this didn't happen today, but about six weeks ago.

at the end of the summer, myself and a few friends went on holiday to amsterdam. things got off to a bumpy start and our flight out was cancelled due to storm aileen; as a result we had to fly out the next day. this meant i went through east midlands airport security twice, on two separate days (this is important later).

so we have the holiday, have a pretty great time, and then the day comes to fly back home. we're going through security in schiphol airport and my rucksack gets pulled to one side. i'm a pretty anxious person as it is so i instantly start panicking a little bit, but assume i probably forgot to take out something i should've done.

i have to stand to one side so other people can get through, and they return my jacket, phone, shoes etc to me but keep my rucksack. at this point i'm starting to worry more because i've been waiting there for nearly five minutes and no ones told me whats going on. they send my bag through the machine again and then start pulling things out, swabbing them down and sending them through the machine individually. there's nothing too incriminating in there, just some shoes, my camera, a book etc but by now i'm really worked up.

and then they start going through the pockets. one side is empty, but the other has a load of old keyrings i put in there nearly a year beforehand and promptly forgot about. they pull a few out and then, lo and behold, out comes this bullet keyring my brother had given to me ages ago.

for reference, the keyring was an actual bullet that had misfired, and been made into a keyring. it had the dint in the bottom, and there was no gunpowder or any form of explosive in it - it was just the empty shell. of course, schiphol security don't know this, and my heart sinks when they pull it out.

the man asks me what it is ("erm, it's clearly a keyring") and where i got it from ("my brother gave it to me when i was, like,  10"). i'm on the verge of tears at this point, the security guard was basically treating me like i'd brought a bomb to the airport, and when he says "i'm going to have to call the police" and walks off i burst into tears.

apparently he didn't like having a crying 20 year old in the middle of security, and so after repeatedly saying "madam calm yourself" (to which my boyfriend replied "you just said you're calling the police, i'm not surprised she's crying"), he says it's just procedure given the 'nature' of the situation; all the while i'm mumbling "but it's just a keyring" which he didn't seem too impressed with.

after an agonising wait (which legit felt like half an hour but which i've been assured was only ten minutes) the policeman shows up and grills me again over what it is, where i got it etc, and by now it's been clarified that 1) i have no trace of explosives on anything and 2) it's definitely just a keyring. eventually the policeman tells me that i should be fined £200, but seeing as it was my 'first offence' ("what, having a keyring?") they'd let me off with a warning; but if i tried to do it again i'd get the fine and potentially denied entry to the country. he then took a photo of my passport to go on the airport's permanent records. once he said i could go, i asked if i could have the keyring back - which no one was impressed by and i was told it was going to have to be destroyed, which i can understand, but at the same time...it was a keyring. really, the thing that concerned me the most was how i managed to get the keyring through east midlands security twice, on two separate days, without anyone noticing.

SOLUTION:
TIFU by leaving a bullet-shaped keyring in my bag

