In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.

Q: Text: my girlfriend and i have been dating for a year as of dec. 15. she has a child that turned 1 in oct.   

since we've been dating, i've grown extremely close to her child. he calls me dad, and i wouldn't have it any other way. he is now the reason for each breath i take.  

ok, so enough background.  

a few days ago, she asks me if i would be able to (or even want to) watch him while she was at work. of course i said yes. however, i've never watched a child all alone before. this literally scared the shit out of me, but of course i didn't tell her this. it was my chance to prove to her, and myself, that i could handle this!   

fast forward a few hours, now she's on her way to my house. i've literally baby-proofed everything in my house(or so i thought). by this point, i've already started-chain smoking, because i'm so nervous. (terrible, i know.)   

ok, they're here! this is it! now or never! so, she leaves him with me. it's just me and him. we're doing great so far! 

fast forward a couple hours: time to change my first diaper! *complete* hey, that wasn't too bad at all!   

the day is coming to an end. it's time to put him to sleep now. we've almost made it!   

**here's where it gets interesting.**  
so, i manage to get him to fall asleep pretty easily. i get his little pack-n-play (portable crib thingy) setup. i proceed to put him in there, without him waking up! yay!   

now, in my house, i don't have central heat/air. i use space heaters to keep warm. (not a big house, and i don't get cold easy.) so, i figure it's a little chilly for him in here. i decided to turn on the space heater, and kind of move it closer towards him so he would be comfy. everything's perfect! our first time was successful!   

*until it happened.*  

i go outside to take a smoke break. leaving the child inside. no big deal, right? right!   

so, i'm outside smoking. he's fast asleep. then, all of a sudden i hear screaming, crying. i take off running inside...   

oh my god! fire!!   

he had woken up while i was outside, managed to knock a lamp over. the lamp then hit the space heater. the space heater landed on some clothes, and stared a fucking fire!!   

i got the fire put out pretty easily, and grab the child, and make sure he's ok. he's fine!  

most of my clothes, and the carpet are ruined. the lamp is broken, i almost died of a heart attack, and could have killed my girlfriend's child. other than that, everything is a ok.

A: TIFU while watching my girlfriend's child by myself for the first time.
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Q: Text: i wake up, eat breakfast, pretty much a normal day. then i randomly run into a door, which gives me a lovely bump right in the middle of my forehead and a decent headache. i'm normally not a very clumsy person, but today, for whatever reason, my body decided to spaz out at every chance it got. anyway, i'm driving to my morning swim practice still wincing at the bump on my head. i get to practice, do the normal workout, and when we take a break to practice flip turns i completely fuck up, turn too close to the wall and slam my ankles onto the pool deck instead of into the water. yay. for the rest of the day, every time i step i cringe and i'm doing a halfway limp to try and minimize the pain.  later that day, i'm rushing to get to work, running a little late so i call my boss and she says it's no biggie. when i arrive, i get to the parking lot, open the door of my truck, and drop both my keys and my schedule on the ground.  i'm a little flustered because i'm already late and i really do not have time for this shit.  i jump out and pick up my keys, but the schedule blows under my truck, so i bend over to try and find it. now, the pants i'm wearing are a kinda casual pair of business-y capri/pants that are a little bit snug, which i like because they make my butt look nice.  as i bend over, the pants rip. they must have a little too snug.  not just a little tear or hole either, they fucking rip on the seam that is pretty much a line down my butt all the way from the top of the pants to my crotch area. fuck. also, i'm wearing a thong so i'm flashing my ass to everyone behind me. also, i'm on my period, so my lovely feminine products are there for the world to see. great. the only upside was that my boss laughed so hard at my bruised forehead, semi-limp, and torn pants that she completely forgot about the fact that i was 30 minutes late.

A: TIFU multiple times.
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Q: Text: i was a night shift of my pizza delivery job and was taking an order of several boxes of cookie dough to a flat. 30-something lady opened the door and did the usual exchanging of pizza for cash. as i was sorting out the change i subconsciously told this poor woman that i loved her, subconsciously. i think i was meant to say something along the lines of "thank you" but it just slipped out. 

noticing her silence and registering what i just did, i proceeded to *repeat* that i loved her, as if to question myself but it just sounded like "love you. *love you.*" being the social retard i am i got extremely flustered and apologetic and had trembling hands while returning the change, explaining that it was out of force of habit. 

i think i'm going to quit this job.

A:
TIFU by telling a customer I loved them - twice
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