instruction:
Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.
question:
Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I DM for a group of 5 people: Will, Lorraine, Ben, Issac and Holly. I met the latter three at uni, while Will and Lorraine (a couple) are friends of a friend. I'm not am experienced DM but I really like this group as there's always a fun atmosphere around the table. As an additional advantage, the group doesn't have anyone that's a creep which is a real luxury. A while ago we were watching a bunch of YouTubers playing some D&amp;D who were dressed up as their characters. I can't remember who suggested it but somehow the idea that we should do the same got floated around and as it sounded like fun, so everyone agreed. Next session everyone had their costumes ready and everyone looked great considering that we didn't have much time/budget. The session went really well. All of the group seemed to be acting in character way more than usual and as we wrapped up I chalked it down as a really great night and got a lot of great feedback from people there.

A few days later though, Holly messaged me privately outside of the group chat, saying how the costumes Lorraine and Will were wearing had made her feel uncomfortable and that she didn't think they were appropriate, that they were unnecessarily showing off and made the rest of us look inadequate, even if it was unintentional. She also asked me to ask them to wear more next session. Now, I wouldn't say anyone at the table was unattractive or overweight, but Will and Lorraine are both highly physically active people and have the bodies to match, and their costumes didn't cover a lot.

Will's character is a monk, and his costume was basically Dhalsim off Street Fighter: shirtless and with warpaint covering his chest and face. Lorraine meanwhile plays a sorcerer and was wearing a woven bikini top, harem pants and African style body paint (apparently you can't get elf ears for black people). As a DM/DND player in general, I like to think I have a really low tolerance for creeps and the usual shittyness that can come with a hobby mostly populated by nerdy guys and take every complaint I get about someone's behaviour seriously, but I'm not sure I can with this. Like if they'd showed up wearing, say bondage gear I might've had a word but they made sense for them as characters, they weren't showing any more skin than you'd see at the beach, and the outfits themselves wouldn't be out of place at a music festival and the designs were inventive.

Everyone else sent messages saying how much they enjoyed the last session and the effort people went to for their outfits so it just seems like a shame to stop doing it because one of us is made uncomfortable by a bit of skin (as far as I know, Holly hasn't mentioned it to Will or Lorraine). So yeah, am I an arsehole for not taking this seriously? Like I get having body issues, but I'm not sure being intimidated by physically fit people and being uncomfortable around them is a good way to go in life and the session we had in-costume was one of the best we've ever had.

answer:
no


question:
Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : So TL;DR, this all deals with him and how he envisions his future, but I don't know how to word the title correctly.

Anyways, a background of myself is I'm in college rn with 6 classes and no free time to work. He is working a technically full-time job at a country club, doesn't want to go to college, and doesn't think about the way future. Both of us are the same age.

&amp;#x200B;

Recently with my decision to switch colleges next year and possibly place myself in the Army after college, he hasn't been very supportive of this decision. He doesn't want me to go too far from him, and wants to at least hang out on the weekends (which I may not have any time to travel back). I've told him this whole plan and mentioned that maybe he should consider joining the military since they have many benefits and could possibly pay for college. His family is poor, his mom and dad are more of financial burdens than helpful towards him. He doesn't want to go into the military because he'd rather stay at his job rn and "move up the ladder". Plot twist is my mother works there too, for about 15 years now, and she's never been promoted to even a manager role. At the very least, I told him he should try to go to college in the future if he can, even if it was just a technical degree and work a stable, well-paying job for a while. 

&amp;#x200B;

Issue is, he believes college is a scam and doesn't believe in the government being helpful, so he wouldn't want to support the military by joining. I have high aspirations, I want to be a pilot, work in the military for 20-30 years, and retire smoothly. But I almost feel like he is holding me back, since he would only be making $1000 a month max for the next 10 years. I don't know what else to do except try to look for someone who is on the same level as myself. I don't want to have a financial burden on myself, and plan on having kids within 10 years. 

So the big question here is, WIBTA for leaving my boyfriend (by the time I move to the new college) to find someone with higher aspirations? 
answer:
no


question:
Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Hi guys.

For context:

My family has a timeshare, and for a long time we went on an almost yearly basis. Due to a bunch of reasons, we haven't gone in a few years.

Also, I recently started a business and I'm in the middle of shipping 400 orders. I should be done this week but it could also easily spill over into next week.

Anyway:

This morning my cousin contacted me and said she wants to go on a trip next week. I told her that the last minute timing might make things difficult, but I'd go - it's been a while and she has had a hard year so far, so I figured I'd make it work.

I tell I'll try to talk my mom into it, and the conversation ends.

Well, later, when my mom wakes up, before I can her she gets a call from my grandmother telling her about the trip. During the call, she mentioned that my cousin's best friend is going.

I have awful anxiety so around people I'm not related to I usually can't relax. My cousin also very specifically didn't tell me about this, despite the fact she mentioned the other people she was asking.

So between all the work I'm in the middle of doing, plus the fact I wasn't going to actually enjoy myself, I texted my cousin and let her know I didn't think I'd be going.

I did lead it off with "you didn't tell me Karen was going", and it may have sounded more accusatory than I meant to. I simply meant to tell her what new information made me reconsider going.

Anyway, I told my mom (who planned on not going either) and she told me I was being an asshole and should have lied and just said I couldn't go. While they have been true, I've always tried to be as honest as I can with people specifically *because* my mother lies a lot and I have complicit in her lies many times in the past.

I've already apologized to my cousin, in case I did upset her, so this is a purely academic question.

So, reddit - am I the asshole?
answer:

yes


