Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.

Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : &amp;#x200B;

Throwaway because my GF knows my main reddit

I've been with my GF for almost 2 years, and I really love this girl. I can seriously imagine myself proposing soon if it weren't for her ADHD..

I moved in with my GF 6 months ago and honestly she's been getting on my fucking nerves the entire time. Everything is fine the sex is great (kind of), we communicate well, we like the same things. But she just gets distracted so much, I'm reconsidering if she's capable of being a wife or the mother of my future children. Here are some examples: 

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*  She takes way too long to clean the apartment when it's her turn to clean up. The apartment we have is pretty small and it can take up to 2-4 hours for her to clean up, because she constantly gets distracted. While it only takes me up to an hour and a half. Even then she misses things, for example she forgets to turn on the dishwasher at night, or she forgets to scrub down the counter. It wouldn't bother me so much if this were a once or twice scenario, but this happens every time.
* She spaces out when I'm talking to her, and forgets to do things I ask her a lot. Like a few nights ago I called her from work and mentioned if she could put a few of my beers in the fridge so by the time I come home they were cold. When I come home, guess what? No beer in the fridge.
* She talks to much, and about nothing. Everytime when we both come home from work she somehow is able to babble about her day for an hour straight, even if her day was pretty boring. She still for some reason thinks I want to know all the details about it.

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And the list goes on, this is just a few of the things she does. I usually never point it out but I got tired of it after her most recent "mistake" and told her: "Look I understand that you have issues with concentration and memory but you really need to learn how to get some more self-control". She told me that she's trying to get her ADHD under control, but it's been dificult for her. Honestly it really bothered me how she used her ADHD as an excuse, and I told her that and she seemed really upset and hasn't talked to me much recently. I feel bad but at the same time I don't think its fair that she gets to blame her ADHD when they're are so many successful people in the world with ADHD. My brother has ADHD and he has a sucessful career, and I never had issues with him when he was my roomate. 

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TLDR: My GF uses her ADHD as an excuse for being clumsy with her chores and being annoying, I told her this and she's upset. AITA?

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no

Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Today my cousin texted our family group chat to ask if anyone was able to help him come up with 800 more dollars so he would be able to purchase his first vehicle. Instantly the majority of our family replied and said they wouldn’t be able to help for whatever reason, but my mother, my auntie and I were able to give him the money. 
          My Aunt gave $500, my mom gave $60, and I gave $140 initially. As a last resort my cousin decided that he would sell his Xbox to GameStop for the rest of the money. Although GameStop agreed to give him $100 for the console, the process was too time consuming and I could tell he really didn’t want to sell his game, so I agreed to give him the money and told him to just keep his game. 
         My mom is the person who drove my cousin to GameStop and to the car dealer so she seen and heard everything pertaining to this situation. After I got off work today I called to ask my mom how everything went and she essentially told me “everything went good and I told (my cousin’s name) he could just give me the Xbox to pay me back”, I instantly went off. I only gave the extra $100 because I wanted him to keep the game. We all agreed to GIVE him the money in the first place, and the console, controllers and games are worth more than the $60 that she contributed. 
        Nobody else seems to think that she did anything wrong and expects me to apologize.
       
no

Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Hey all, throwaway and first real post. Don't know why I'm using a throwaway, because anyone that knows me is gonna recognize the situation from a mile away. Also on mobile so bear with me on the formatting. TL;DR at bottom.

Background
Basically, my parents had a car several years ago and I was told that when I started needing a car, it would be mine. Then, in my sophomore year of high school, they replaced it with another one they bought for $300. Since it took the place of the old one, I asked if this one would be mine when I needed a car and they said yes. 

For $300 it was great, the only major repair it needed was new motor mounts. (Well, not really, but we'll get to that.) My brother drove us to school in it at first. I then learned how to drive in it, and everybody liked it. My dad actually took it on a road trip and it held up great.

That is, until, oil started disappearing. It wasn't leaking, the motor was just burning it. My dad told all of us (my mom, bro and I) that the oil HAD to be checked EVERY TIME before it was driven and added so we didn't destroy it. 

One day, my mother needed to go to the store. She wanted to drive my (future) vehicle, but she didn't check the oil (more on this later), drove it a few miles on no oil, and blew the motor. It sat for several months, and my parents were planning on paying someone to haul it and scrap it.

After those months I decide I wanted a car, and I had some money saved up. I didn't have the money to buy a car that would actually last, but I had enough to fix the broken down one. So I asked my parents if instead of them paying someone to haul it off if I could fix it and keep it for myself instead, and they said sure. (Note, I didn't act entitled saying "you're getting rid of it anyway so you should just give it to me." I simply asked them if they'd be open to the idea and they said yes.)

Fast forward to now. 

It's been about 3 years of hard working with the aid of my grandfather, and after rebuilding the motor I finally have it running. But the trouble didn't end there. I don't want anyone else driving it. Period. It's my baby, and after all the time, sweat, and my own hard earned money doing labor for my great uncle (About $1800) I'm not taking chances. However, I've told my parents if they ever need a ride they just need to ask and I will if I can, and I only ask that they come with me so if something happens I'm not stranded alone.

The problem now is that my mother doesn't like that. She doesn't have a car of her own, so she thinks that I should let her drive my vehicle. 

But she hates it. She didn't say so before, but once I started rebuilding it and really cemented it as mine, she'd start saying things about hating it and stuff. 

But she demands that if she ever needs to/feels like driving it I should just let her because she says so. 

I explain to her that I do NOT want her driving it because she destroyed it in the first place. She knew that she had to make sure it had oil first, but refused to check because she is "a woman and car maintenance is a man's responsibility" and thought that fallacy would magically make an engine run perfect with no oil whatsoever. But even then she could have asked my dad to since he was home, but she was too lazy to ask. When I bring up how this is literally wrong, an engine doesn't care who you are and running with no oil is going to destroy it, she refuses to understand it and still thinks that because she's a woman she can destroy an engine then refuse to accept fault, because she's a woman and that's not her responsibility, and I'm an idiot for thinking otherwise.

However, she was also rear ended in a rental car in August, and due to some neck damage she should not be driving. So it's not even safe for her to drive. I bring this up too, but she won't even acknowledge this. The only time she does is when dad asks her to drive somewhere, then this "injury" becomes super convenient for her to say no.

She then demands that if she ever needs it she should be allowed to drive it, because it's still in my parents' name and they pay the insurance, and for my gas.

Now, every time she brings this up, I very respectfully tell her if it's that much of an issue to just stop paying it. But I also bring up the fact that 1) They still pay for my brother's insurance, even though he now lives in another state and does not support us at all (understandably), 2) she would never even consider driving his car without his permission 3) Before he moved out, he lived here for 2 years after high school with no job, except for one that lasted a few months, flunked out of college his first semester and wracked up a ton of debt, yet they still paid for his gas and insurance 4) I just graduated high school in May, and finished trade school with my Associates in June with hardly any debt (I went half time for free in high school) and without having a working vehicle until December made it virtually impossible to get a job.

When we get into these arguments about it, I make sure that I'm very respectful, even though she acts like I'm Charles Mansen. I also make it clear that I'm not forcing them to pay for anything, just that it'd be really dickish to stop compared to everything they did for my brother (who I have no resentment toward for any of this). I literally shut down all of her arguments just by calmly and respectfully stating facts. The result is always her screaming something, such as the whole theme for this sub, "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE SHUT UP GET OUT".

Wondering what my dad thinks? He knows where I'm coming from, knows that I'm right, but just hits the yeet and dodges the conversation.

I think she's really just mad that she doesn't have a car of her own, and she's spiting me because unlike her when I decided I wanted a vehicle I actually did something about it. She just plays the "pity me" game and complains about not having a car while doing nothing to help herself. Granted, she works all day prepping decals for a printing company, but over several years you'd think she'd at least try to figure something out.

Also, looking at how she treated my brother vs. me on the whole car situation, it's obvious she has little actual respect for me, and all the time and money I've put into it. I'm also fairly certain she's mad because I'm not just doing whatever she says blindly and actually calling her out when she has zero justification, and I have valid points to prove it.

Overall, I'm not caving and letting her (or anyone else) drive my vehicle because I know she wouldn't care if she destroyed all my hard work and time, and might actually be happy to. I've worked hard on it and it is mine in every way except on the title (so far).

TL;DR- My mom destroyed the engine of the vehicle that was supposed to me mine, and after spending $1800 of my own money and 3 years rebuilding it, she's mad I won't let her drive it because I don't want it destroyed again.


So am I really the asshole here? I'm not a saint and I won't claim to be, but I try as hard as I can to be reasonable but my mother still gets mad at me.


no

