Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and an associated claim about its type, verify if the claim is true or not. The claim asks if the posts are historical or hypothetical. The posts are "HISTORICAL" when the author has already done something and they are "HYPOTHETICAL" when the author is considering doing something in the future. Say 'yes' if the claim is true otherwise say 'no'

Q: CLAIM : The following post is HISTORICAL. POST : So, a bit of backstory: 

I am a violinist, and I have played since before I can remember. I also have arthritis, the first major episode of which occurred when I was 14. Since then, it has only gotten worse, with occasional flares that sometimes leave me unable to walk, but it was always fine, because I had my violin.

I went to college, and one of my majors was music. As time went on, I started feeling pain in my fingers whenever I played, but I usually just ignored it. Eventually, though, it got to the point where I lost the use of my pinkies. I spent my last semester relearning how to play my instrument, still in pain, without 2 of my fingers.  At this point, my fingers and hands and wrists hurt all the time, whether or not I was using them.

After graduation, I completely lost the ability to play, it just hurt too bad. I spent two months searching for answers, for a solution to my pain; I was given restricting plastic casts, horribly painful cortisone shots in the nodes in my palms, even a round of steroids that made me increasingly manic. I had to go on antidepressants, because I was sinking into a terrible depression.

Finally, a doctor finally realized that I'm double jointed, and the hyperextension was causing inflammation in my fingers, which was causing the locking and clicking sensations that were causing me so much pain. The solution was simple- custom fitted splints (interlocking silver rings) that prevent my fingers from hyperextending. I was fitted, and a few weeks later, the splints arrived. I put them on, and suddenly, I had the use of my hands back. Never mind the thousands of dollars in medical bills I would have to pay, or the years of pain that were now behind me- I could play again!

Fast forward to more recent times. I took on a temporary job in retail, which I'll be leaving this Saturday for unrelated reasons. At least 5 times a shift, somebody comments on my rings. Sometimes, it's a compliment, sometimes, it's a question, and sometimes, it's an insult. The latter happens a lot more frequently than you would expect.

At first, I just sort of went along with it, chuckling and saying 'Thanks!' in that cheery, fake, retail voice. However, as months passed, I became more and more frustrated by it, to the point where I started pointing out to customers who openly insulted my splints that they are medical devices I have to wear in order to avoid immense pain, if just in an attempt to get them to realize that insulting strangers for literally no reason is not okay.

Even the compliments sting. I know they aren't meant to be hurtful, but they are. People compliment me on something that I did not choose, that I cannot change, that, to be honest, really sucks. They're complimenting me on having such debilitating arthritis that I cannot get through the day without these splints on my fingers, splints that have caused callouses and other such annoyances (for example, I can't pick up a glass of water without the entire restaurant turning to stare at the sudden percussion). They don't mean it that way, but that's how it is.

The questions are somehow worse than both. People inquiring as to why I wear these splints feels like a really personal violation. Would you ask somebody why they're in a wheelchair? Of course not! These splints look kind of similar to jewelry... in the same way that a wheelchair looks kind of similar to a chair. They are medical devices, and they're actually not that uncommon. But people asking about them is really uncomfortable, because I have three options: 1) Deflect the question, and potentially anger the customer 2) Lie, and potentially anger the customer (I'm a bad liar) 3) Tell the truth, and violate my own privacy.

Whenever a complete stranger says something about my 'rings', whether it's an insult or a compliment or a question, it really upsets me. I tend to get short with them, just saying whatever I'm required by store policy to say, hurrying up to get the transaction over with. I'm not openly rude, or mean, or loud, or anything, just blunt and brief. I stop putting on the happy retail worker facade, and try to just get it over with. The only time I've ever gotten visibly upset was when a customer yelled at me about how 'you stupid millennials waste all your money on jewelry and other nonsense, no wonder your a\*\* is in retail!' I was shaken, and told the customer to have a nice day after the transaction was over, and asked if I could go on a break. I then spent my fifteen minutes sobbing in my car.

I've had people grab my hands to look at my fingers- again, complete strangers, while I am working- or even try to take my rings off to look at them. That's quite rare, but still, immensely upsetting.

I'm leaving retail, hopefully for good, but I'm still worried about my past reactions to people questioning my splints. When I'm out in the real world, not working, people have never asked me about them, except at places like jewelry stores, and at rehearsals, for understandable and legitimate reasons. I don't think this will be a problem once I'm no longer working at the store, but still, I am not sure if I'm in the right here for being upset.

My rings don't look like jewelry, really, because of the way they are fitted to my fingers (extremely tight so as to properly maintain my knuckles, not like rings), and because of their shape, and because they lack any ornamentation at all. Though I do understand the curiosity, I don't think it's an excuse to ask a stranger about it. To me, it's like asking someone why they have a cast, or crutches, or a hearing aid, or any other medical apparatus. It doesn't make sense to me that people should be excused for ignorance, because my splints are just that- splints. Medical apparatuses. And, why would you openly insult or question someone's fashion choices? Is it okay to criticize a tattoo, or to ask someone why on earth they need to wear those shoes?  That side of it doesn't make sense to me either, for reasons of common courtesy.

I will have to wear these reminders of a time of incredible physical and psychological pain for the rest of my life, or I will return to that point of pain. AITA for getting upset when complete strangers point it out?

A: yes
****
Q: CLAIM : The following post is HISTORICAL. POST : Sorry for formatting, grammar, etc. I’m on mobile, yada yada yada. 

So last night my sister got into a car wreck, (her fault, no one was hurt seriously besides bruises and being sore.) She was freaking out because the both of us work CNA jobs which don’t make very much, while also in school for medical professions. She would start her program a year ahead of me, but it’s very hard to work during either programs so both of us would have to be PRN or not work at all. Some people work while doing it but it’s insanely hard and stressful, especially since you have to have a certain grade point average throughout otherwise you get dropped from the program. 

Last night, she was talking about having to push back starting the program so she could work and pay her car note, car insurance, etc. She had already pushed it back a year before that, and I didn’t want that. I told her to not worry about it, I’ll pay her note and insurance. I’ll work, and I was going to push back my school and my plans for life. 

She immediately began looking at cars online, cars well over 10k. My grandfather is coming to pay for the down payment for a car Thursday, which he doesn’t have the money to really do. He had said before that he would help me pay for my transmission to be fixed, not the entire thing since I didn’t want him paying that much money, but now I can’t ask him for any money. The guilt is weighing on me even having him pay my sisters down payment. 

I was planning on buying my own car because the transmission on my old car is about to go out, and wanted to move in with my boyfriend later on this year. My mom is controlling, beyond so, and doesn’t help pay for very much. She’s never truly had much money, and what money she gets she blows easily. We now live with my cousins while my sister and I share a tiny bedroom, and she pays less here than when we were in an apartment. I’ve been unemployed and just now starting to work again, the entire time I was unemployed my sister payed for everything I needed. Bills, paying for clothes, groceries etc. 

I had a talk with my boyfriend, and I don’t want to pay her car note. I want to move out, I want to go to school, I want to get a car that doesn’t shake and the engine doesn’t scare me that it’s going to fall apart every time I drive it. I came home and told my mom this, and she told me “It doesn’t work that way. You said you would pay it last night, you don’t have a choice.” 

So I’m sitting in the bathroom, trying to cry as quietly as possible while texting my boyfriend. AITA or would I be if I didn’t pay the car note for her new car?

A: no
****
Q: CLAIM : The following post is HISTORICAL. POST : I was good friends with a guy for a long time. He was the one who pursued me for months and kept saying he loves me and that I was his "dream girl", but I was very hesitant to date because I had bad dating experiences and wanted time to heal, plus I didn't want to potentially ruin a good friendship. He insisted he would wait for me, even though I didn't know if I would want to date him in the near/late future.

When I agreed to date, he turned me down because all of a sudden he thinks he might want kids (he always said he never wants kids) and I didn't, then went back on his word in the same day and said he felt depressed and suicidal because he didn't want to lose me. I ended up agreeing to give things a go with him anyway.

One week later, he broke up with me over text because I had one super bad day at work and sought support from him, which he said made him feel depressed and helpless and he couldn't cope with this. I reiterated it was just one bad day, but he began to focus on lots of smaller things about me as a person (things he was always aware of) plus he brought up my traumatic past and said he can't put up with that (I have nightmares about it sometimes).

So, we had only been together for one week. It sucks but not worth grieving over. I met someone very shortly after, we went on a date several days later and one thing led to another and we had sex.

Anyway, me and the ex, if you can even call him that really, were catching up the following week (because we are meant to be good friends after all) and he asked me what I got up to over the weekend and I was 100% honest. He was not happy one bit, questioning me how I can even move on so quickly, and claiming that he had been having regrets all week and was considering taking me back. Plus he ultimately felt betrayed as I'd had sex with someone a week after we broke up, and sex is a big deal and something special to him, and now it will take a very long time, possibly years, for him to get over this and be able to trust another person to be intimate with. However, I myself do not see sex as massively special and have had sex with 30+ people (guys/girls) over the past ten years, which again he was always aware of.

Since then, he has grown quite distant, and when I message him, he will sometimes reply a week later, but remains friendly in his messages. However, because of his reaction to me going on a date etc, I have kept that side of things very private. I have continued to go on dates and be intimate, but have kept that completely out of conversation. This has me feeling quite conflicted because this is meant to be my friend so I should be open with him, but at the same time, I feel like it hurts him hearing about this part of my life and I don't want to face another outburst of his either. So, AITA for moving on so quickly from my ex and also for omitting the details of my love life so as not to upset him?

A:
yes
****
