instruction:
In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
question:
Text: so a little background:  i am a recovering addict who suffers from chronic pain.  in attempting to treat said pain without using opiates or even the nsaids i have become intolerant to due to stomach issues, i purchased some kratom in the hopes it may offer relief.  i researched articles in scientific american and other medical papers and found that responsible use offers relief to opiate addicted chronic pain patients. yesterday i took a small dose and experienced since relief with the intention of doing the same this morning. i have relapsed once in the two years of sobriety i have had (after 1 year, so i know that i only really have the time between that relapse and now as sober time). anyway, i put the kratom in my pocket with the intention of trying it again to see if it would indeed work.  when my wife got out of bed she decided to embrace me and shove her hands in my pocket which i didn't want her to do as i wanted to be sure it would work before telling her about it.  well of course she found it and became upset...not about the drug but about the fact that i hid it from her (honesty and hiding things has been a long standing issue).  now she will not listen to any explanation why i did such (she is a prosecutor so any and all drugs are bad and the worst information she can find on a subject is the only truth of it).  now i fear we will be divorced and my 2 boys will suffer the same fate i have as the product of a broken marriage.  
to summarize: my dishonesty and willful deception has once again led to conflict with my wife even though i had the best of intentions in keeping it hidden until i could verify efficacy and now the damage is seemingly irreparable.
answer:
TIFU by hiding something from my wife... Again


question:
Text: i created an email and listed the name as bahl sacke and sent an email to my teacher regarding homework selection. this email was created because my brother and i were messing around and needed a new youtube account and i forgot to change emails when sending the info to him. we will see how this goes...
answer:
TIFU by sending my teacher an email from ball sack.


question:
Text: well, not today exactly, happened about a year ago.


this whole thing all happened on what was a fairly unassuming bus ride to school. there were about three other people people on the bus that day, as it was a fairly small minibus, so we all knew each other well. my busmates were bout two years older than i was, so i wasn't in their immediate friendship circle, but i could still engage in conversation with them about school or t.v. or some other shared interest.

that morning we were engaging in a particularly good session of 'bus banter', talking about how one of the guys on the bus, lets call him burland, got friendzoned by just about any girl he talked to, and about how i was shit at sports. (always seems to be a go to topic when people come to insult me)

so this girl, lets call her 'aimee' for no reason other than the fact that that her name was not, in fact, aimee, was talking to another boy, called burland about macro economics when i noticed a tiny spider on her leg. it was no bigger than half a centimetre, and looked like a money spider. it was steadily crawling up her thigh while she was talking  about fiscal plans oblivious ot the impending danger. at this point, i decided that the best thing to do was to alert her to the spider that had, at that point reached the hem of her skirt, so i tentatively said:

"aimee, theres a spider on your leg, you may want to bush it off or something, just... yeah, just there.'

aimee looked down, saw the spider, and started to scream bloody murder.

at this point the bus driver assumed that someone must be dying in the bus, so he slammed the brakes, and that was when chaos erupted. burland's economics homework went flying everywhere, amiee, having flicked the spider off of her leg, realised that it wasn't dead and was now basically squatting in her seat, with a rather large textbook of mechanics in her hand, ready to crush it if it came within five feet of her, and the other busmate, who had until this point been quiet had woken up from the sleep that none of us had realised he was in and was staring groggily at us wondering what the fuck was going on.

anyway, i later learned that aimee had an extreme phobia of spiders, that burland had no idea what quantitive easing was, and likely never would any more, and that bus driver's apparently don't take to kindly to high stress environments as he left the job soon after. 

 


edit: accidentally used the girls real name, changed it now.
answer:

TIFU by telling a girl that she had a spider on her leg.


