In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
One example: Text: title speaks for itself really... 
i just wasted $1500 of my parents' money.
i feel terrible.

edit: i guess it wasn't that i took the wrong class, but the class i was taking wouldn't transfer credits over to my university. so really it was my negligence to do more research in the matter. gg
Solution is here: TIFU by taking the wrong class for 2 weeks and only realizing it today
Explanation: This title is appropriate for the given text post because the focus of this post is about a humorous situation caused by "taking the wrong class".

Now, solve this: Text: throwaway for obvious reasons and this actually happened last week.

first a bit of background. my so and our 3 kids have been staying with her parents recently as we move from our old rented place to a shiny new home of our own. so of course privacy and space are at a premium. opportunities for 'quality time' have been extremely limited and my rigorous personal grooming routine has gone right out the window. this will make sense in a moment.
so, for valentine's day the in-laws offered to watch the kids for the evening and get them off to bed while so and myself headed out for a semi-romantic meal and one or two drinks.

fast forward 6 hours, we crept in her parent's front door, giggling like teenagers and were more than in the mood for some of that 'quality time' i mentioned. so headed up stairs and i nipped to the bathroom to unload the last couple of beers before following her.
in my slightly inebriated state it struck me as an ideal time to do a bit of quick man-scaping with a pair of nail scissors. yeah, you know where this is going, don't you? 
surprisingly i did a pretty good job but on the last snip, i got a little too close and nicked the skin right where the frank meets the beans. it wasn't a bad cut but i didn't think it was the best idea to proceed with an open wound. but that would mean no sex!!

panic!

suddenly i remembered something about the us army using cyanoacrylate in vietnam to patch up wounds in the field and stop them from bleeding out. so i figured that if i could patch up my soldier with just a tiny bit of superglue, let it dry and pop a condom on, we'd be back in action.
i tip-toed through to the kitchen and retrieved some superglue then proceeded to patch myself up as carefully as i could in the bathroom before heading up stairs to take care of business.

i wasn't even half way up the stairs when things began feeling... not right. it was a crunchy, pinching, decidedly uncomfortable sensation. yes, in my negligent, drunken haste to seal the wound and seal the deal, the glue had run down from the effected area, over my freshly coiffured balls and set fast.

panic again!

i high-tailed it back to the bathroom to confirm my fears. indeed, my coin purse was now partially encased in a solid coating of cyanoacrylate. luckily i hadn't managed to glue myself to myself, but my balls now looked like han solo's face when he was frozen in carbonite. i also learned to appreciate how freely and frequently skin moves down there when it isn't chemically bonded to itself...

this wouldn't do. the second so laid a finger down there she'd have known that i had done something stupid. this wouldn't do at all. luckily i'm stupid enough to have bonded skin together with superglue before an i'm well aware that acetone is great for helping things get unstuck.

lady luck is a fickle old girl. sure i was in a bind but my so happens to keep some acetone around the house for removing gel nails and the like. i quickly grabbed the bottle along with some cotton pads and set to work on freeing my privates.

have you ever tried dabbing acetone on a cut before? have you ever tried dabbing acetone on a cut on your genitals before? i have and i swear it's not something i'll be doing again in a hurry!
an hour and 45 minutes of carefully dabbing acetone, peeling solidified cyanoacrylate from my balls and grimacing through the intense sting of giving my nuts an impromptu chemical peel and i was done!

my beer buzz was long gone, my libido was in tatters and my privates felt like they'd been dragged through the fires of hell. sheepishly i headed back up stairs to find my so in bed, curled up with our 3 kids, whom i would later discover had been there since we got home, negating any chance of 'quality time' before we'd even started.

tired, tattered and utterly defeated i lay down with them and got some sleep.
Solution:
TIFU: by using super glue on my privates