Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.
Example: Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST :  Pretty much was hanging out with two friends. I was watching the Lakers game. They won at the very last minute and I immediately hopped up and celebrated. Before I could even finish celebrating one friend started going on about how the Lakers suck. It just pissed me off so much I screamed at her to get out my room until she left. 


She knows I'm a huge fan and she likes them too. She was only saying it to antagonize me. Am I the dick here?
Example solution: yes
Example explanation: It is very rude to shout at someone and ask her to leave the room even if her comments may have antagonized the author. Hence author is at fault here.

Problem: Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : Sorry for the wall of text. This turned into a bit of a rant...

I’m a person with typically no drama in my life so this whole situation was an out of this world experience for me. I (28f) have been friends with Slim (35m) for over a year now. He sells drugs low key (Ike 3 customers) and I never really cared cos he was fun to talk to, always surprised me with his intellect, and we just had fun times together. I knew he had a gf named Hops (20f) when I first met him. 

He and I first connected because he was in a relationship with a junkie and I had just gotten out of one so needless to say I had a lot of solid advice that I wish I had known sooner and hearing about my failed methods seemed to really give him perspective. This developed into a strong friendship and although he sometimes got a little too close I never went there because of his relationship and my lack of attraction. 

Long story short, their relationship went from trying to work things out to - broken up then back together for a day and broken up again etc. I only met Hops once or twice and even she told me she was leaving him the next week. So one night he and I took a popular club drug and ended up doing the deed. I didn’t feel guilty cos they weren’t together. the drug made me horny, and you skip the awkwardness when you fuck a friend. 

Months go by during which they are mostly broken up and she is moving out but as these things go, they end up together again. Slim and I remained good friends and Hops knew I was a friend and thought I was a customer. I never wanted this girl at my home but Slim talked me into it one night. Saturday before Halloween. Three of us were partying pretty hard and planning to go out once dressed. Hops offered to do my costume makeup. During this time I got REALLY fucked up and ended up passing out in her lap. 

I woke up at 3am with my phone missing, work laptop, engagement ring, and other valuables. And my dog howling to be let in as she had been let out on a dangerous street. No word from the perps for 12 hours. Finally Slim contacts me. Apparently Hops broke into my phone and spend hours going through my messages. She found maybe 3 sexual ones from months ago but she also found some shitty stuff Slim said about her like he wanted to get her to pass out so she wouldn’t bother us (I never replied to those kind of comments cos WTF?!) In her (righteous) hurt and anger, she started going through my belongings. Slim tried to stop her but she said it’s either that or she pummels me in my unconscious state. He said he watched everything she took and made sure it ended up only in his trunk and then His storage unit so he could return it to me. 

He told me she was hurt and I should take it easy. Being someone who was cheated on, I decided to oblige. He ended up bringing back a lot of my stuff (work laptop was vital) and I talked to her for 5 hours instead of sleeping. She claimed if I answered her questions I’d have my stuff back. I asked if she had my things and she lied and said she did then got hostile when I asked for proof. 

Anyways, my point was that I was as nice and understanding to her as possible considering the situation and I felt and still feel like a shit human even though I don’t feel I did anything morally wrong. Here’s where i decided to be an asshole. She left her makeup bag and a go pro during her get away. I planned to give it back but never offered and was eventually asked (begged) by Slim to do it because it was her bday. 

I couldn’t just give it back however. So I mixed some rancid shit together (piss, toilet water, dog shit, drain cleaner) and dipped every brush and painted it on every item of makeup. Then I took apart the go pro and disconnected some cable so it didn’t work but wasn’t technically broken either. The makeup thing is gross af but it made me feel good knowing she is putting this on her face. 

I felt like she deserved it because of how she acted... that victim woe is me mentality. When I was in her shoes (mind you my husband had a year long affair so my shoes were much worse) I still had the sense to take some responsibility. So did my husband. His mistress acted just like Hops did, like she did nothing wrong and deserved all the sympathy. 

This girl violated me and I say with complete seriousness that I would rather relive my rape than that Halloween night. I know I’m an asshole for what I did. I guess am I THE asshole? 

TLDR: girl violated me by robbing me in my sleep after I opened up and was vulnerable to her. To retaliate I drowned her makeup in piss and shit. 

Also, how would this story fare in pro revenge? Worried they’ll hate on me there but I am still proud of my revenge despite feeling sympathy for the girl and remorse for how the situation went down. 

Solution: no