instruction:
Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.
question:
Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : My wife and I have been together since college, married for \~4 years now in a commitment ceremony. Found wheelchair-suitable housing last year and moved in together.

The obstacles to us becoming parents are:

1. Financial. We split rent and utilities 70/30 every month. She works P/t at $10 an hour. I work F/T at $15.25. TL;DR - we absolutely could not afford her to stop working entirely AND the expense of a child. We'd be slowly going broke every month, at best.
2. Medical. She was born with Spastic Cerebral Palsy and has a 50-50 chance of dying if she gets pregnant. None of her female friends have accepted her request for surrogacy. We REALLY don't want to hire one either, too many horror stories.
3. Emotional/Mental. We both have...a fair few issues we're working through. Mostly childhood traumas on her end &amp; poor memory/ADHD on mine. We've achieved a stable but fragile state of harmony, but without giving out TMI I can pretty safely say that if the kid is anything short of a junior saint we're going to be at each other's throats.

I have exhausted literally every higher-paying job I qualify for on several job search sites as of last month, to no avail. I've thrown out or donated 80% of my electronic gear and most of my old hobbies to make more room in our apartment. We went to couples counseling (which helped) and I've tried to help her keep in touch with her friends.

Meanwhile, for the past few years she's been constantly back-and-forth on the issue. At several points she's literally set a date to try for a child complete with Fun Times, we've bought tests and commiserated when they came back negative. She has also (supposedly) picked boy and girl names out already and talked to adoption agencies.

Yet nothing ever seems to come of the latter and she also takes her birth control pills every day without fail. Whenever I try to VERY GENTLY remind her "pills = no baby" or ask if there's been measurable progress on the adoption process she either gets angry, deflects the issue, starts crying or all of the above. It's become a conversational landmine I can't even approach without risking a "boom". Trying to approach the issue of children issue otherwise either ends inconclusively or in a minor-to-major meltdown, no matter HOW hard I try.

All this lead up to a conversation this morning where I tried to politely tell her that we needed to put this issue to bed. We're not getting any younger, higher income does not appear to be forthcoming, and I'm just plain tired of the stress of going back-and-forth on this issue for going on half a decade. I love you honey, I'm not going anywhere, let's hug on this and let it go.

...suffice it to say that her meltdown rivalled Chernobyl and Fukashima put together.

Between tears she accused me of "not liking kids", of making a big decision without her, and a dozen other things. 

Am I really a monster for saying I'd like to put this issue to rest rather than have it lurking in the closet?
answer:
yes


question:
Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : my ex and i had a very toxic relationship. He was extremely manipulative. When we first broke up, he didn’t want to let me have my time off to move on. He insisted that we had to stay friends because i “promised” to. Eventually he let me have some space to myself although he would call me up or text me out of the blue. But I finally moved on and no longer felt anything for him. He has a girlfriend now but sometimes he still bugs me because he needs help with his studies or someone to talk to. I used to reply him because I pitied him (he loves to victimise himself) and on my birthday, he got me a lot of presents and even wanted to throw a surprise party for me (after we’ve broken up) so I felt like I should reciprocate since he’s being so nice to me. But I realised that I can’t forget about the tremendous amount of hurt he has caused me and him being in my life doesn’t help. Also I feel like he’s just using me as a back up plan in case he loses his girlfriend in the future. And I definitely do not want to be the one comforting him (i know i’m selfish). So recently i’ve been ignoring him and trying to distance myself and hopefully i can cut off the friendship. 

TL;DR - I do not want to be friends with my ex even though he’s pretty nice to me now. 
answer:
no


question:
Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Recently I met a girl on Bumble, who as it happened wanted a casual non-exclusive situation, which was fine with me.

She told me she was still in love with her ex and didn’t want a relationship, but she ends up drunkenly entering a relationship with another Bumble guy that confesses love to her. She initially feels like this is a mistake but starts having a good time

Not long after this an interaction with her ex brings those feelings rushing back, and her new bf starts being a bit of a dick in a series of ways. He openly says he enjoys teasing her and winding her up, he asks for naked photos quite flippantly without really appreciating them or helping her feel secure about what she’s exposed, he jokes about sleeping with other girls and about giving her number away to other guys, telling her they think she’s hot.

Possibly the biggest issue is that this guy doesn’t seem to want to offer physical affection, and literally sets a timer for cuddles. Eventually, she asks him if it’s alright for a guy to stay over. He says yes, And I stay over, but nothing happens, although there are some tender and intimate moments.

Not long after she invites me out to an electronic club with a friend of hers. The night ends and I decide to take her home since she’s pretty drunk, but we get burgers first. It’s at this time that she confesses she has already slept with someone else, and that she wanted to do stuff with me a few nights ago. Additionally she says that if I go home with her she will probably end up doing stuff with me too.

I reason that, she’s already cheating on him with other people, and he is also neglecting her in some really basic ways. From what I can gather she is plucking up the courage to end it but is worried about doing that for a series of reasons. I go home with her, and we have sex multiple times that evening, and the next day.

TLDR: I slept with a girl in an unhappy relationship who is already cheating on her kind of dickish boyfriend.

Am I the asshole for going home with her?
answer:

no


