instruction:
Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and an associated claim about its type, verify if the claim is true or not. The claim asks if the posts are historical or hypothetical. The posts are "HISTORICAL" when the author has already done something and they are "HYPOTHETICAL" when the author is considering doing something in the future. Say 'yes' if the claim is true otherwise say 'no'
question:
CLAIM : The following post is HYPOTHETICAL. POST : Here's the thing. We're both in our 20s but I'm a few years older and was never into the party/drinking thing to begin with. I don't really get the point of getting blackout drunk. He's not super into it either, but he will on average have a gaming and drinking or bar/club night with friends or roommates maybe once a week (depending, sometimes more sometimes nothing for 2-3 weeks) 

My issue is, he will almost always get REALLY drunk. The 'I'm not sure what happened last night, I woke up in my toilet, with puke in the sink , or in my bed covered in puke' level of drunk, at least half the time . This included a 'fun' night where he then later  told me he thought he kissed one of his female friends. 

He goes out with people who are (some anyway) much heavier drinkers (and he's a skinny guy who sometimes forgets to eat). One of his friends recently had to be picked up by an ambulance after just lying in the street, too drunk to walk home. It's a group of 21-28 year old guys (legal drinking age is 18 btw so he's been legal to drink for years now) and I don't expect him to not drink.. But we don't live near each other (long distance) and I'll get a bunch of 'help me' 'I'm so sick' 'I don't know where I am' texts at 2 or 3am... And, for example today, its now 3:30 pm and still no word from him after texting me that last night...

AITA if I try and talk to him about it or make a big deal out of it? On one hand he's an adult and I'm not his mother... And it's not a 'happens constantly' thing... But I'm tired of worrying whether or not he got home safe during/after he has a night out
answer:
yes


question:
CLAIM : The following post is HISTORICAL. POST : I've been seeing a guy for a few weeks now, we've been on a few dates but haven't done anything sexual except from making out. I always like to take things slow because in the gay community there are a lot of purely sexual relationships, but I personally prefer monogamy and want to know someone is interested in me and not just my genitals.

After a few weeks, this guy and I got on really well together and we were clearly both attracted to each other, I felt comfortable enough with him that I thought we could take our relationship to "the next level" (which he wanted to do on our first date so I knew he would also want to… this is sort of relevant later on!). We were texting and I pretty much said that I was fine with moving the relationship forward and he then told me that he is HIV-positive, but is on medication which means it can't be passed onto sexual partners.

I know this is bad to say but all my sexual attraction to him disappeared in that very moment. I know that if I had sex with him, I would be worrying the whole time about HIV transmission. I also know it's illogical because it's not transmissable but I just wouldn't feel safe. I'm very very very careful with sexual activity because I know HIV is a bigger problem in the gay community than for straight people and it's something I really don't want in my life, even though I know people can live completely fulfilling lives and normal lifespans with it.

I didn't have the courage to tell him that I didn't want to have sex with him because of his HIV status so I sort of wrapped up the conversation and then deliberately brought up politics (which I know is a big issue for a lot of people) a few days later and pretended to end things with him over that saying that "we just didn't see eye to eye". In reality I couldn't care less about his political beliefs, I just can't see myself being intimate with someone who has HIV.

I told my sister about this and she said I was being judgemental and ruining what could be a great relationship. It's sad but I see her points in some ways. This guy was really respectful of my wishes to not have sex which can sometimes be rare to find in the gay community, he's really attractive and intelligent and very caring + kind. But I just can't seem to get past his HIV, and I wish I could but I can't. Also, on our first date he wanted to hook up and I'm 99% sure he wasn't even going to tell me he was HIV positive which makes me question if he's the person I thought he was.

I know no one is obligated to have sex with anyone else, consent is important and I think rejection for any reason is fine, but I can't help feel like I have a stigma in my mind and I feel really guilty about even thinking like this… am I the asshole?
answer:
yes


question:
CLAIM : The following post is HISTORICAL. POST : Context: I've been chronically unwell for a long long time. My friend comes to my house when I'm not well enough to go out. She used to invite me to go out with her but since she moved in with her boyfriend recently, she's just been coming to my house and going out with him and other people, until I asked her why she didn't want to hang out so much. I thought she was spending extra time with her partner and had, you know, forgotten her other friends still exist. She said no, it was cos she didn't want to invite me to things if I might be upset that I couldn't come if I wasn't well. I explained that I was upset cos she seemed to not want to hang out as much and could she please not decide for me what I was well enough to do or not, just invite me and let me decline, as she knows my health changes day to day. 

Anyway. This weekend I wasn't feeling well and I asked her if we could hang out, she said yes and came to my house. I wasn't sure how far I could go out, so we went to the beach right nearby.

After about an hour she was texting loads, then announced she was gonna go to the pub with her boyfriend and his friend - both of whom are my friends too - for st Patrick's day and she was gonna wear a green top I gave her. She said she was feeling bored on the beach.

She made no move to invite me to join them until I asked if I could come if I want to and she said yes I could come. I decided it would be too far for me to go in the end. We left so she could go join them. I felt a bit shit about not being able to go but way worse about apparently not being welcome. 

Then stupidly, I emailed her asking why she didn't invite me at first, and if it was cos of my health could she, again, not decide for me what I can do, and if it was cos she didn't want me to come then that's her choice. Then I felt like shit for asking her to justify her decision not to invite me cos she doesn't have to invite me or explain. 

But basically my best friend said that she was bored of me and was gonna hang out with our other friends instead, after an hour on the beach, when I was expecting an afternoon with her - looked like she was bored of me not just the beach. And I felt she was only there to help, not cos she wanted to see me - it's hard to be great company when you're not very well but I'm hardly a charity case.

She didn't reply to my question (I immediately wrote again to say sorry for asking and she doesn't have to answer). I think I've either lost a friend cos she doesn't like me anymore, or I've lost a friend cos I'm being stupid about whether she likes me or not.

Is she the asshole for excluding me from our mutual friends? Or am I the asshole for asking her not to?
answer:

yes


