In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.

[Q]: Text: this happened almost like two minutes ago; i haven't even closed the reddit app since then.


to preface, my five year old loves watching me play games. she especially loves anything where you battle robots of some kind. 


zelda botw was a big hit with the guardians or, as she calls them, "spider launchers." so much of a hit that she wants to be link for halloween.


she also loves anything with a female protagonist. needless to say, when i recently played nier: automata, (which she so fittingly named "girls and robots") it was practically a revelation. 2b is pretty much the coolest thing ever to this kid. she makes me play the soundtrack to the game anytime we're in the car. even the frozen phase we went thorough pales in comparison to the titan that is 2b.


so here's where the fu comes in. we're cuddled up on the couch; paw patrol or something is going on in the background and i'm absent-mindedly browsing reddit when i get the bright idea to search for 2b cosplays to show her. so i pull up reddit's famously powerful search feature and go for it, not thinking that 2b has become prime waifu material and reddit has a tendency to take that and crank it up over 9000.



so i pull up the first couple which are pretty much just pg and incredibly well done. she's getting excited, all like "is that the real 2b it just a girl dressed up like her?" and "how did you get that picture on your phone?" 


she doesn't understand the wonders if the internet yet... and i completely forgot exactly what it was the internet is for.


she's totally stoked now and we're scrolling on down and i notice the thumbnail of one picture is clearly hinting that the full picture is going to be leaving a little less of 2b to the imagination than a five year old should be seeing. but no problem, we'll just quickly scroll on by that one... oh my god some of these go the full monte right in the thumbnail!


cue "daddy, what was 2b doing with her boobies?"and "why was 2b doing that with her butt?" and, of course, "daddy, why did we have to stop looking at pictures of 2b? i wanted to see her..."


i just hope she forgets the whole thing before she says something weird to my wife.


 

edit: darn homonyms...
[A]: TIFU by showing my kid pictures from Reddit.


[Q]: Text: this happened a few months ago when i was tearing out our old kitchen fixtures during a kitchen remodel.

i was about to tear out a huge chunk of the tiled counter and the sink was part of it, so i noticed the whole thing moved when i went to lift it. i thought it looked cool, so i told my wife to get her phone and come film me because it was going to be the biggest progress moment we could get in one maneuver. hella hgtv.

i made a few crucial errors at this point. first, i moved closer to the sink because it made for a better shot and i thought it would make the sink lifting with the counter look cooler. because of this, i lost the leverage i had before. my second error was wearing pajama pants made of very thin fabric instead of denim. because i didn't want to mess up my jeans because i only have about four pairs and they were expensive but pajama pants are cheap. finally, i underestimated the weight of the sink. lpt: many sinks are enamel coated cast iron, so they weigh a lot of pounds. this was one of those sinks.

so i told my wife to start rolling and i lifted the counter from my new, and far inferior, leverage point in front of the sink. i managed to get the whole "everything and the sink lifting up" cool effect, but i also realized it was far too heavy to keep up for more than a second or two. now because i needed close leverage and my pajama pants fabric was very thin, my hips were pressed hard against the counter so when i set the very heavy tile countertop and extremely heavy cast iron sink back down, my mane of pubic hair got caught in the gap.

it got caught rather early in the lowering, so as the countertop settled back in to its original position, it took along with it a sizeable chunk of my pubic hair. i had a large bald patch for some time.

the video consists of me saying, "you ready? okay... [grunt] aaahh shit! ...i just ripped out a bunch of pubes." then my wife laughs and the video ends.

in the end, i got a better video than i had anticipated. hooray?
[A]: TIFU by ripping out a hug clump of pubes by thinking I could get a cool shot of a kitchen demo moment


[Q]: Text: so it happened a few months ago.
after school we went for some coffee with schoolmates. they don't smoke weed but i do and they don't have any problem with it. so we drove to the parking lot with three of us in the car and i thought it would be a good idea to roll up and smoke a small dubbie before we go to cafeteria and since my schoolmate who was driving didn't mind me smoking in his car ... (this is where 1st fuck up begins) so i rolled it up and set it on fire and my friend got a little anxious becouse there was some guy coming towards the car, but i was like "meh don't sweat it dude nothing is gonna happen".
so this guy stops at the window and suddenly flashes the goddamn badge at my friend who was driving.
fuck.
shit, fuck, bad.
i opened my doors and threw a joint under the car.
bad idea since mister undercover police man saw the whole thing. he asked us to get out of the car and to empty our pockets and hand over ids etc. etc. he didn't find anything on me thank to god but he asked the driver to back up his car a bit and picked up my tiny joint. i conffesed and so he collected my information and drove off. 
(2nd fuck up) later on i learned that police guy could not fine me since he had no witnesess, no evidence and no guarantee that joint he found was mine. when he asked me if it it was mine i could simply say "no" and he could only proceed with a fellatio. but ok. so they cought me.. i'll pay the fine and mom never knows about it. wrong.
(3rd fuck up) all those police papers arive at very distant dates in my country. i was cought in march and recieved my papers after two months later when i was conviniently out of town. (i was in paris actualy :) )
i was concered that i will get my papers right when i'm gone and ofcourse that is execly what happened. i got angry text from mom saying "good job son. i hope you earn enough money with your summer job to pay the fine" and i replied "thank you for caring so much about my mail". when i got home i got super yelled at with mom in tears and dad mega ultra pissed off. they even told my grandparents. things are fine now i guess but it was still a fucking shit of an event. oh and by the way, i paid 112 € for a fine (about 40 € for weed (if you pay early you get 50% off) and 90 € for taxes). analysis showed that it was only 0.16g of green stuff in there, which was like nothing. it wouldn't even get me high.
[A]:
TIFU by getting cought by police and parents while smoking some


