instruction:
Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.
question:
Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Long story. Strap in kids, there’ll be a TL;DR and cookies at the end of the post.

Backstory: me and my ex were together nearly 10 years, I’m currently 25, she’s 24. It was a long distance relationship for ages, which culminated in me simply up and emigrating to be with her. She broke up with me 4 months after I did.

Cut to 2 months ago, she gets back in touch with me (at this point I’m back in the UK trying to build a life for myself, she’s still in Vietnam travelling and on/off working). Tells me she needs money, £400. Says it’s “just to tide me over until I get paid”. Fair enough. I hate lending money to people but we were together a long-ass time, and I still trusted her, so I sent her the money on the basis that she pay me back in a weeks time. If she didn’t pay me back in that time, we agreed that she would go to her parents, borrow the £400 from them, and use it to repay me.

A week later I don’t have the money. Now atm I’m living with my parents, so I’m saving a fair amount of bank, but I am also looking to buy a property soon so I would eventually need the money back. I ask what’s happening. She apologised and swore that she would get me the money ‘soon’.

2 weeks after she said that and nothing had changed, just me texting her for an update and constantly being told ‘soon’, when she finally tells me the truth. I thought she was waiting on a pay check from an employer. Nope. She lent a huge amount of money to a new boyfriend she met in Cambodia or somewhere like that, and he ran off with it. She was waiting for him to pay her back (of his own volition) so that she could give me my money back.

Worse, a few days prior she had asked for my bank details. Ok, I thought, I trust her. She sent them to this Spanish boyfriend so he could pay me back himself. Obviously he didn’t because he’s a con artist and her money is gone. Now, if this money was because a cheating employer hadn’t paid her I would have been more forgiving, but she gave (she never said how much, so I imagine a lot) of money to a guy she’d known for a few months at most, and expected me to be sympathetic about it?

It had now gotten to be a month since I lent her the money ‘for one week’. I got insistent. She maintained that the Spanish guy would pay her back, and that she trusted him. I maintained that I didn’t care, and said if she didn’t pay me back I would go to her parents and ask them to pay me back (remember that the original agreement had her borrow money off them and use it to pay me? She did borrow it money from them, but kept it). Eventually she caved and sent me the money, but hasn’t spoken to me since.

During the time I was getting more and more persistent about the money:

• My mum could see that I had lent it her and I hadn’t got it back, since she’s able to control my back account. She was constantly on my back about it.

• I was telling her she was naive to think she was getting the money back, and stupid to lend it in the first place. Pot calling the kettle black, maybe, but I’d known her for half my life. She knew this guy for months, at most.

• Her family were... honestly I have no idea. Enabling her, mostly, and telling her she did nothing wrong.

• The crux of it all was when I asked if she’d learned any lesson from this, she said if it happened again she’d give her money away again. Honestly, no idea how I put up with that for so long.

So, whew. What a ride, eh folks? Anyone needs any more info speak up but I think that’s a good jumping off point. AITA because I got mad and demanding, despite me not needing the money at that time? She really was very poor. But she also lied to me about the reason she had no money, and showed herself to be utterly delusional near the end.

TLDR: me send ex money for one week. Month later, ex no pay me. She need more than me. Ex need money because ‘new me’ stole money off her. Ex waiting for ‘new me’ to pay her back. Me get demanding, say me go to ex’s parents for money. Ex send money then ghosts. Is me bad?
answer:
no


question:
Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Hello people of reddit, first time poster, recent reader and a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all!

So I'll try (and most likely fail) to keep this short and sweet. Every year, my family travel out to my Uncle's house a couple of days before Christmas to get together and celebrate in our own way, so we can spend time with our partners, wives, husbands, children etc

Now for most of us its about a 2 hour, 130km (85 miles for those in the U.S) drive. This year I was tasked with being my Aunt to the party. Now unfortunately she is the WORST backseat driver because if you go over walking speed, she freaks out and starts screaming and yelling at you to slow down.

For the record, shes perfectly able to drive herself, but doesnt like to drive anywhere she doesnt know

Needless to say, I wasn't looking forward to this as it would turn a 2 hour drive into a 3 hour drive.

So I pick her up, and drive slowly, and save one or two complaints about the weather, its actually a very nice trip, until we get to the motorway/highway.........now in my country, there is a minimum speed limit on the motorway of about 50kph/30mph, this is a legal requirement and you can get stopped by the Police for going under it.

So we get on the motorway and she immediately starts freaking out. Shaking, asking me to slow down, blessing herself, screaming when a car goes past etc.

So to try and keep her happy, I slow down to about 50kph and talk to her, explain that this is as slow as I can go but that shes safe and that we're going to get there safe and sound.

Unfortunately this does nothing and she keeps ordering me to slow down, slow down, SLOW DOWN!! Even slapping me on my arm. At this point, I warned her to keep her hands to herself and just kept driving.

We continue on for a few more minutes and she keeps telling me to pull over, which you can't do on a motorway outside of an emergency, I ask why and she wont give a reason, so I keep on driving, at which point she grabs the steering wheel and pulls it causing me to cut across a lane of traffic and grind against a guard rail, which also tears off my wing mirror.

By some minor miracle I dont crash and get back in control before coming to a stop, but not before having to physically restrain her to keep her hands off the steering wheel.


 At this stage, I dont feel safe with her in the car so I pull off the motorway into a service station and kick her out of the car along with her suitcase, after taking photos of some of the damage to the car itself. And off to the party I go, despite her very vocal objections.

Now most of the family are angry at me for leaving her all on her own at the service station, and she has been trying to get me to cover the taxi and hotel fare she had to pay to stay at a local hotel.

So Reddit, I ask for your Judgment, am I the asshole?
answer:
no


question:
Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : My husband’s sister (we’ll call her Mandy) is a bitch. She orders everyone around like they’re her own personal servants (even her own mother who enables it), and she’s ALWAYS yelling, talking over people, and trying to control every situation. Simple things like how the family kids open their Christmas presents, how we order at restaurants, and how we play family games, how we stand for photos, etc., have to be controlled by her. I’ve given up fighting this for now because I can’t stand being around her let alone talk to her about something sensitive. 

She’s also an anti-vax, stay-at-home mom who thinks that essential oils cure diseases. She is constantly bugging me to get in on her (pyramid scheme) products she sells on Facebook. She comes to my house to tell me that I will poison my future children with my cleaning wipes. I’m POSITIVE that my husband’s mom pays for a good portion of her living expenses as well (which would be fine if she had a real job and tried to improve herself). Basically, she is the textbook example of everything I loathe in a human being. 

So...

Her daughter is in kindergarten. I have seen her assignments first hand. I’ve also heard her read. She is functioning on grade level, and does not appear to struggle in school. 

Mandy just texted me to ask if I will tutor her daughter one day per week because she is “struggling to sound out words” and gives her a hard time when she tries to practice with her. 

I know Mandy doesn’t plan to pay me because sh’s a bitch and has no extra money. 

I am a licensed teacher (k-5) with SO much on my plate. I really don’t want to give up a portion of the little free time I do have to tutor a child (for free) who is functioning on grade level. 

I haven’t replied yet. I feel guilty for saying “no” because I like to help people out. I’m just so stressed in my day-to-day life. I’m also a professional educator who doesn’t want to work for free to tutor a child who doesn’t need it. If she did need it, that would be a different story. 

AITA for thinking of refusing this?
answer:

no


