TASK DEFINITION: Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.
PROBLEM: Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : For the reddit secret Santa exchange, there are very simple rules. Spend around 20 USD (more if you want), actually send your gift to your person, confirm the receipt of your gift. You can elect to match with people from a different country if you want, but there’s a big warning that international shipping can be quite expensive that you must acknowledge. 

I signed up be to an international reddit secret Santa this year, primarily because I thought it would be really fun and interesting to give / receive a little unfamiliar culture with some international neighbors. 

I did a ton of research into my match’s country, figured out what they do and do not have access to there, and sent a little of what their particular interest was along with a little culture from my country. 

I had a blast being a Santa! I had a ton of fun doing the research and learning about their culture, the things they are into, etc. It was quite expensive to ship from my country to theirs (around 80 USD), but I kind of expected that, and reddit did have a *very explicit* warning about this, so no worries there. 

As much fun as I had gifting (believe me, It was a ton of fun), I was just as excited to have an encounter with someone outside of my country. When my gift was marked as shipped, I was super excited. I spent a ton of time tracking what times they accessed my information, when stuff was marked as shipped, etc to try to figure out where they were from. 

It took roughly a week for me to see the tracking number. Seeing where it entered my country, I was trying even more to try to figure out where it came from based on geography and international flights, etc. I was so excited. 

Then I received my gift. It was from a local vendor, nothing that I wouldn’t have been able to pick up from any local shop. Didn’t seem to be very thoughtful, even for a domestic gift. Where I thought the package entered my country is actually where it originated. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am very appreciative that someone spent the time and money to get something for me. The cost is irrelevant to me, i know that there is a ~20 USD recommendation and all of that. What I was excited about was receiving something, ya know, foreign. What’s the point of signing up to participate internationally if you’re not going to share something special with another part of the world? 

Am I the asshole for being disappointed / was I expecting too much? 

SOLUTION: no

PROBLEM: Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST :  I haven’t seen my best friends in a little over a month. I asked them if they wanted to stay in our go out bar hopping to meet up with people. Like typical girls they say “up to you” and I said Idc just tell me. Overall they say no. We watch a movie and they pass out while I’m still awake and bored. Initially I wanted to go out to the bar. They wake up out of mid sleep and I ask them if it’s okay if people come over to hangout. This is  1:30 am. They said yeah sure idc. I said are you sure you don’t mind ? They said sure we’ll just go in the bedroom. My friends are sleepy so they both go in my bedroom and don’t sleep at all. Awake and not saying hi to anyone, being secluded from everyone else. I asked if they wanted to come hangout since they can’t sleep and they say no. We were being loud In the living room and smoking. (They are against smoking) After maybe 30 min they decide to leave my apt. I tried to keep the party going between two friend groups but it didn’t work out. I feel really bad because the people that came over were loud. They couldn’t rest and they didn’t want to hangout and drink. Am I the asshole for allowing more people to come over ? I didn’t intend for it to happen like this but I feel bad and idk if I should apologize or not. When they left they didn’t seem upset they were obviously uncomfortable. What should I do? 

SOLUTION: yes

PROBLEM: Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I know this sounds like one of those, "you know your NTA," post but I'm genuinely mixed about the situation and need to see what people think. If I get what I want, I'll delete this post.

For background history, my first memory is being woken up and told that my father is dead. I was not aware that he was dying. Maybe due to this, last words have always held importance to me. 

I was around 14 years old, possibly about to hit 15, when I learned that my grandfather went into the hospital for complications from a disease and that he wasn't expected to make it. He's the Grandpa on my father's side, and during my younger years I saw him as a father figure. He started traveling a ton in the years before his death, so I hadn't seen him for 4 or 5 years. I begged my mother to take me to see him. She said that we would. I reminded her multiple times and each time she said that we would. 

She never took me. She said, and I quote, "I didn't expect him to die." Keep in mind, we were told from the very beginning that he was on his deathbed. Afterwards I just couldn't stop thinking about how similar the situation was to my fathers death. Especially during my Grandpa's funeral.

I've always had a bit of rocky relationship with her, but that was the first time I thought that I hated my mother. I'm 16 now, and I've been attempting to actually talk to my mom more and develop a better relationship with her, but I just can't get over my grudge. I confronted her about it the other day. She denied that I ever told her we should see him, that alone made me mad as it's a plain lie. Then when I told her that, she says, "Sorry son, but you can't change the past." I'm not at all a crier, but that almost brought me to tears. How can you even say that?

Now here's the part where I wonder if I'm the asshole. I'm being light in the title when I say I despise my mother. I don't want to speak to her ever again after I turn 18. The real reason I'm trying to talk to her more is so I won't leave on a bad note, and just maybe, I could actually understand some of her actions. No luck so far. There's plenty of reasons to not like her, my grandfather was just the beginning. Even when I'm actually having a good conversation and we're laughing, I can't get it out of my head. I don't care about her at all and when she's old, I won't be there to take care of her. Despite that, I still wonder if I'm just being immature about the whole thing.

SOLUTION:
yes

