Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.

Q: Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : A friend and I have birthdays in January.  Because we're in our thirties, we have made plans to do a large, combined, party with a lot of our mutual friends.  The plan is to spend two days in an Airbnb in a mountain resort town two hours outside of our town.  Not sure if this detail is pertinent or not, but I booked and paid for the Airbnb.  The idea is to collect equal shares of the cost when we're at the house.  

Here's the dilemma: I'm having doubts about going.  Here are the reasons.  

1. Of the four couples whom are attending, three of them are on some type of no-alcohol program for the month of January.  One entire couple is doing a 'dry January' program wherein they don't drink alcohol for the month.  They won't make an exception for the trip.  However, come February 1st they go hard with a huge party.   Another couple is six months pregnant, and the husband is doing the same 'dry January' thing.  Finally, my birthday co-conspirator is training for a 50 mile run later in January.  He's on a strict diet and isn't consuming alcohol.  That leaves me and my wife.  Like I said, I'd have fun and enjoy myself, but this scenario has happened in the past with all of these friends just watching me drink and eat like a glutton (it's my birthday!).  It's not nearly as fun as it sounds.  Everyone usually ends up going to bed around 10:00pm.  
2. The whole trip will be around $400-$500 for each couple.  That seems ridiculous to me for the amount of projected fun to be had.  We all live in the same town, see each other frequently, and could easily make another plan that would be less expensive, or even reschedule it to the spring or summer, which I think would be more fun.  
3. Finally, during the trip, we would miss my daughter's choir singing the national anthem at our local hockey team.  We didn't know this until after the trip was booked.  

Would I be the asshole if I cancelled the trip?  I'm going to speak with my buddy for whom this is a joint party, but I'm 95% going to cancel the trip and make other plans.  If the other couples end up going to the cabin, that's perfectly fine and I won't be bent out of shape.  They'll be able to rebook the house with one of their accounts.  It's just that I don't want to celebrate this way.  I'd rather do something else or do something low key with my kids.  I'll be turning 31, so it's not like this is a landmark or important day in any way.  My wife thinks I'll be a total asshole if I cancel this, but I don't see it at all.  

A: no
****
Q: Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I’ve known my step mother (referred to as SM) for 4 years. In that time my reputation of her has gone from indifferent to a perpetual disliking and avoidance. Whenever my dad got remarried to my now SM I tried to be friendly, making casual remarks I thought were funny, playing off mistakes I made as being a goof, and looking past her mistakes. Despite that, SM always had a seemingly bias opinion of my brother and I. She would crack her own “jokes” daily (which consisted of mocking my brother and I’s weaknesses). Whenever my brother and I would voice our displeasure, she would get incredibly defensive and reply, “I was only joking”, “It was just sarcasm!” Sometimes the jokes wouldn’t even be about our weaknesses, but just plain out lies about our hobbies, habits, etc. Recently SM has even been testing us. Misplacing items so that when we don’t find them, she can say “Just goes to prove how imperceptive/lazy you are”, “Just shows how much men rely on women”. The house has felt very women dominated and man demeaning ever since she got here. Because of SM, I now have a lack of confidence in my own skills like if I’m perceptive or not, lazy or not. 
    I ask because I want to know if I’m being to selfish about this. TBH, she does do things for us like cook, clean, vacuum, etc. for us. 
Am I being too negative? Sensitive? AITA?


A: yes
****
Q: Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : It started awhile back at a youth group weekend me, the "long-time" friend (L) and the "new" friend (N) all attended. Before this weekend I had never met N but we basically ended up having to drive up together with how the carpooling worked out.  We ended up hitting it off really well on the ride. L and N really never interacted apart from maybe a quick sentence here and there that weekend. I didn't think much of it at the time.

The week after, N and I hung out often because we got along really well. At youth group the next week I was social with both and L realized then that an actual friendship had formed between N and me.

As such the next day L took me aside and told me that N had 'wronged' his sister, that it was a very serious thing that really 'damaged' his sister and she did seek therapy. I had only known his sister for around half a year and apparently this was all well before I met her. However, out of respect for his sister's privacy he wouldn't go into any detail about what happened. Just that N was terrible and that I shouldn't associate with him as that is supporting someone who did an 'evil' act and not the victim (the sister).

I told him that I was sorry to hear that all happened but since I was a complete outsider to this incident and didn't know really any of the details that I don't feel comfortable just abandoning N especially when we get along well and I literally have no idea what is going on and would prefer to stay neutral due to that.

Two things of note is that while the sister was somewhat standoffish at times, her and N were many times friendly and would chat at group events and online with each other. I doubt L was lying to me though because I do know that his father was not happy with them interacting due to a 'past incident'. I actually heard the father say this to other adults at church. FTR I don't know the sister's actual feelings on the subject though that to this day they continue to be cordial.

I did make an effort to not hang out with them together due to this. The only time we all would interact was at church or other social events anyone could attend. At those everyone was civil but because I would interact equally with both L wasn't happy. I severely doubt that L's actions were out of jealousy and I do believe that something probably did happen in the past which caused the animosity.

Basically in the end due to this and some other irrelevant issues L and my friendship ended. No big fight or anything but he did feel betrayed. N and I aren't close due to distance and I never asked him what happened due to feeling it wasn't my business.

Still, every now and then I get that nagging feeling that I should have had L's back and trusted him on this instead of putting his feelings aside for a new friend who I really didn't know that well. I don't know if this would have salvaged a friendship but there are times I wonder "what if." So reddit AITA?

A:
yes
****
