TASK DEFINITION: Your task is to extract the thesis of an opinionated news article by selecting some of its text segments. The thesis is a summarization of what the author wants to persuade the reader of. Your answer should consist of segments of the given text. Note that you are not allowed to combine different sentences.
PROBLEM: Peace on Earth? There are a whole bunch of people who simply don't like Christmas and are fighting to get rid of it any way they can . And, there are a lot of people on the other side who are angry at those efforts . And so, this whole battle over whether to say Christmas or Happy Holidays misses the point . I suppose it may be hard to be a non-believer in the religious themes around Christmas and live in our culture . You are confronted daily with the religious symbolism of Christmas in the books you read, the friends you have and the movies you watch ; and , above all ,  you have to stay away from religious stuff...like Christmas celebrations . I'm a believer, but not without a modicum of compassion for those who don't share my religious beliefs . I can imagine how irritating Christmas must be for those whose whole worldview is built on the belief that Christmas doesn't matter because it points to what is spurious at best and dangerous at worst . I get that, too . I must admit, though, that I get irritated sometimes when a group of people bring a lawsuit to get rid of the town creche or when someone wishes me "Happy Holidays." It bothers me when universities remove Christmas trees or Christmas concerts are canceled because it offends those who aren't religious or Christian . Frankly, I listen to a lot of stuff from the other side all the time . Fair play suggests that it wouldn't hurt for the other side to abide some of mine . I decided that I'm just not going to fight the Christmas war . I'm an old guy and old people are already irritated about being old . As someone said, it takes very little to tick us off . Instead, I'm just going to sing as loudly and as publicly as I can a Christmas carol---a Christmas carol about love and a God who went to a lot of trouble to express his love for us . You see , in my belief system, Christmas doesn't mean that God came to destroy us or to kick posteriors . I believe that the reason he came was to tell us that he isn't angry . And when we make obscene gestures or get mean with those who disagree with us, it kind of misses the point . It becomes a disconnect between what I believe and what I do . And if I really believe(and I do) that the King came , it kind of changes my perspective . I have a friend whose family takes playing chess very seriously . It gets so "hot" sometimes that they end up throwing chess pieces at one another . As you can imagine , they lose a lot of pieces . One Christmas when they were playing chess, my friend took the baby Jesus from the small creche under the Christmas tree to replace one of his lost pieces . My friend then began to move all over the board, going after his brother's pieces . "You can't do that," his brother said,"that's illegal." "Oh, yes I can," my friend said."This is Jesus and he can do whatever he wants to do." Jesus does as he pleases and he does it right well . At Christmas he decided to love and, then, clean up the mess later . So I think I'll opt out of the war . The King was doing fine before I came along and will do fine long after I'm gone . He doesn't need my defense . So, Merry Christmas or...uh .... Happy Holidays . Whatever .

SOLUTION: There are a whole bunch of people who simply don't like Christmas and are fighting to get rid of it any way they can And, there are a lot of people on the other side who are angry at those efforts

PROBLEM: Just when the Ched Evans debate couldn't get any lower, up pops Gordon Taylor OBE. No matter how much anyone prayed that the Ched Evans "debate" had completed its race to the bottom this week, it was never going to have done so until we'd heard in full from Gordon Taylor . That pleasure was always in the post , and yesterday the PFA chief delivered, with what we might painfully cast as football's version of Godwin's law: a comparison with Hillsborough . "He wouldn't be the first person to be found guilty, maintained his innocence, and been proved right," Taylor opined to the BBC . "We know what happened with Hillsborough." Oh, man  ... Gordon Taylor . Or rather, GORDON TAYLOR OBE, as his name appeared in my inbox when he emailed me once . Sensationally dim, wantonly self-interested, wildly over-remunerated and frequently morally compromised, Gordon functions as an auto-satire on all the worst things people think about football . Reputed to be the highest paid union official in the world, and one who has been in his job for just the 33 years , Taylor has now said he didn't mean"to upset anybody" , though I need hardly add that he has no plans to consider his position after his latest display of incompetence . In which case, I hope he'll forgive my considering it for him - an act that has become as essential an annual event for me as putting up the Christmas tree or rewatching the early work of Steven Seagal . Unless Taylor's presence is dramatically revealed as the second-highest-profile instance of affirmative action for idiots in public life - the first being Iain Duncan Smith's position in government - then it hardly needs pointing out again that Gordon is no longer fit for purpose , if indeed he ever was . But more on his record shortly . That Taylor should have rifled through his Rolodex of metaphors and alighted on the absolute archetype of victim-blaming in order to continue obliquely victim-blaming in the Ched Evans case ... well, perhaps there's a mirthless laugh to be had there . But it would take a stronger stomach than mine to manage it . The sadness - or rather, one of many acute and diverse sadnesses - is that this was a week in which football was crying out for an intelligent and sensitive advocate, finding itself once more cast in a role it should never be required to occupy in a truly civilised society . All manner of people appeared convinced that the game should mitigate the deficiencies of the criminal justice system , just as a worrying number were keen to say Evans was absolutely welcome to work again - flipping burgers or sweeping the streets . These are the jobs that are fit for rapists , we must infer , which must feel hugely complimentary to those non-rapists who are putting in shifts doing the same for minimal pay right now . Meanwhile , as the Mail's Martin Samuel pointed out, footballers - footballers!-"are placed in the same bracket as doctors, teachers or legal professionals" . If that seems to you like a view of society worth shoring up , the week will have felt distinctly encouraging . As for football fans - the great "them" of many debates - they have spent the week being cast as too thick and impressionable to be able to make their own judgments about a convicted rapist . Evans could have been nothing but a role model, presumably to the vast tumult who turn out at Boundary Park each week (4,415 on average last season) . It's as depressing as it is disturbing . Such toxicity and lunacy have attached themselves to football and its place in our society that those who love the sport as well as those who play it really need the calm, cool intellect and charm of a Shami Chakrabarti to lobby in their real interests and those of the game . Instead ,  they have Gordon Taylor , whose focus was memorably dismissed by Peter Schmeichel during one stage of the Paul Gascoigne saga . "Instead of getting great deals on cars and other luxury goods for members," the former Manchester United and Denmark goalkeeper fumed,"PFA should commit more time and funds to help the like of Gazza." Taylor was stung - into self-defence, of course . "Peter doesn't know what we've done for Paul," he announced to the Press Association,"a lot of which has to be confidential." It certainly does . Except Gordon just couldn't bring himself to keep it that way . The next few days were spent with this union leader giving detailed interviews on Gascoigne's mental state and past treatment , in which he divulged telephone calls with the player, made off-the-cuff pseudo-clinical diagnoses, and - unbelievably - used the union's own website to warn : "If we're not careful , it is going to be akin to George Best." Then again, Taylor had form with sharing details of members' treatment, having done the same with Joey Barton only a few months previously . Anyway, on we go . In 2013 came the revelation that Taylor had amassed a? 100,000 debt to a bookmaker - almost an inevitability to those who recalled him pontificating about a "zero tolerance" approach to betting among players just a couple of years before . And no round-up of Gordon's greatest hits would be complete without a look at that endlessly intriguing confidentiality deal he signed with News International , which awarded him a? 700,000 settlement for phone-hacking in return for his silence . As the News of the World's lawyers later had it in a letter to the Commons culture, media and sport committee, Taylor's lawyers had informed them that he "wanted to be vindicated or made rich" . Given that he reportedly earns? 984,000 a year (maybe more these days) , you might judge him to be rich already - but of course ,  we know which option won out, a deal that precluded Taylor from breathing a word about phone-hacking to any of his union's members , who he might reasonably have concluded could have been victims themselves . As they were eventually proved(by others) to have been . So there you have him: the pastoral carer who reveals details of his members' mental health in the noble cause of self-defence . The gambler who wishes to outlaw gamblers . The ur-phone-hacking plaintiff who agreed to take the? 700,000 and say absolutely nothing about the matter, despite being responsible for players who of course turned out to have been targeted too . And now he is the victim-blamer's victim-blamer, in a week where, you might have hazarded, even Katie Hopkins couldn't have contrived to make a grim situation worse . Still ,  experience would indicate that Taylor ignores his detractors at the very opposite of his peril . So all that remains is for me to take the early opportunity to apologise for next year's inevitable appearance of this column, and bid Mr Taylor a cordial au revoir .

SOLUTION: Sensationally dim, wantonly self-interested, wildly over-remunerated and frequently morally compromised, Gordon functions as an auto-satire on all the worst things people think about football

PROBLEM: A bully in Harvard Yard: What professor's $4 food fight tells us. If you think bullies are teenagers lurking on schoolyard playgrounds , think again . At least one is a grown-up walking the hallowed halls of Harvard University . His name is Ben Edelman . He not only teaches there , but he earned several diplomas including a law degree at that storied institution of higher education . But Edelman seems to have adopted the word "higher" as his personal calling card . You see , he's higher than you and me . Or at least he seems anxious to let you know it . A hardworking Chinese immigrant family found that out when the professor ordered a takeout meal of shredded chicken with spicy garlic sauce and three other dishes . Edelman thought he was overcharged by $ 4 bucks ($ 1 dollar more for each dish) , so he launched a relentless war on Ran Duan , who works with his parents at their restaurant, Sichuan Garden in Brookline . You can read the sordid details in a story at Boston.com where the website also published the unbelievable litany of Edelman's intimidating and condescending emails to Duan . The prof's remarks ooze with arrogance and conceit . Edelman's exchange with Duan has become a viral sensation , as it should . A Harvard professor vowing legal action over the sum of $ 4 dollars . Come on . The professor has now apologized for his treatment of Duan and his family , but his emails will leave you shaking your head in disbelief that someone so supposedly "learned" could be so seemingly insufferable . Maybe that's what a Harvard education gets you these days -a degree in imperiousness . Arrogance aside, the professor's persistent threats of legal action constitute a shameful campaign of bullying . He uses his knowledge of the law --at least his tortured interpretation of it-- for a purpose that can only be described as abusive . It turns out , he has done this before to a different restaurant . Bullies tend to target the weak and vulnerable . For Edelman to use his advantage as a lawyer to berate the Duan family who have come from nothing as immigrants and are trying their best to make a living running a restaurant is, in a word, unconscionable . During one email exchange, Duan asked the professor,"you seem like a smart man... don't you have better things to do?" Bullies usually don't . For all I know, Edelman is a pretty good professor . That does not make him a good person . Clinical psychiatrists might find him to be an interesting case study in how living in the Harvard bubble can distort even the most agile of minds . Sometimes intellectuals take themselves too seriously . Sequestered from the experiences of the average man, they can lack common sense, kindness and decency . Edelman seems bereft of them all . There is a reason why places like Harvard are called"ivory towers" . All too often, they envelop an artificial atmosphere where intellectuals are disconnected from the practical concerns of everyday life . So, it should be no surprise when guys like Ben Edelman explode like a bomb on some poor immigrant family trying to make a buck with the sweat of their brow . Fortunately, academic elitism is not contagious . Teaching at Harvard may be a lofty achievement in the egg-head world . But professor Edelman seems to lack the one quality which elevates people above all other primates: compassion . He might gain a measure of humility and understanding by getting a real job . Might I suggest washing dishes in a Chinese restaurant? The next time I visit the Boston area, I'll skip Harvard Yard . Instead ,  I plan to drop by the Sichuan Garden to try their sauteed prawns with roasted chili and peanut sauce . And I won't check the bill .

SOLUTION:
At least one is a grown-up walking the hallowed halls of Harvard University

