My old roommate’s cats, Clise and Monkey, were about as different as cats could be. Clise, rescued as an emaciated kitten from a local park, grew up to be morbidly obese. His interests mainly involved eating food, begging for food, or going around the neighborhood scrounging for food. He could hear a can opener from a mile away. Monkey was a more active cat. He liked to chase the laser pointer and was the first to run to the door when someone arrived. But he could also be lazy, lounging in a sunbeam or stretched out on the couch. Both of them liked to watch TV. Soon after I moved in, I started having health issues which necessitated a lot of time lounging around myself. This was the era of reality TV, back when much of it was actually good. The cats, Monkey especially, watched with me. Monkey definitely had his preferences. His favorite shows were The Girls Next Door and Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making The Team. Notice a theme here? Playboy Playmates and professional cheerleaders. Monkey liked his T & A (tits and ass). If one of these shows was on, and I turned it to Project Runway or something, Monkey would march off. But as soon as I turned it back, and he could hear the high-pitched giggling, he’d come running back. Clise’s favorite shows were Top Chef, Iron Chef, and Rachael Ray. Food porn. If there was something he especially craved, like a shrimp stir-fry, he’d assume a begging pose, right in front of the TV, as if Rachael might take pity on him and throw him a scrap or two. I moved out about a year later. A few months previous, Monkey ended up catching some wasting disease and dying, but Clise, as far as I know, is still there, begging for scraps from anyone he can — in real life or televised. When exactly did John start to experience health issues? Pick the correct answer from the following options: - Three months before moving in - Soon after moving in - not enough information - Before moving in
Soon after moving in
(Question)
Yes, sometimes you just meet people and you know straight away that they are not trustworthy. Before my relationship there were certain boys in my life that I would meet and I would be able to tell straight away whether or not they were going to be a decent partner. I find that I am not attracted to the pretty boy, who loves himself, I go for the more reserved and shy people that I know will treat me right. One time there was this guy back at school who I knew was all over the girls and that didn't want a relationship. He was rude to the teachers and a bit of a bad boy and all the girls swooned over him. I on the other hand was not, at one point he managed to get my number and was texting me. We spoke for a bit but once he started asking me for pictures of myself I stopped the contact, I knew he wasn't to be trusted from the beginning and decided he wasn't right for me. Then it was quite funny how one day we had a class where the rooms were next to each other and in between was a printer that both classes shared. I went to the room to print my work, and he was there waiting also. He asked me for a hug and just raised an eyebrow, then I saw my work had printed so I lent over to grab it and he thought I was going in for the hug. So he shut his eyes and held out his arms only to open them to see me walking off with my paper. His friend also saw what happened and laughed, I think he was a bit embarrassed. But we were young back then and he has found someone now and seems very happy, as am I. How long did they wait for the copier? Pick the correct answer from the following options: - All day - not enough information - Two hours - Five minutes
(Answer)
Five minutes
If you turned on the TV towards the end of 2002 you could have been forgiven for thinking that Britain had gone absolutely horseshit mental. Every week, it seemed, another pretty young girl from a nice family, who was happy and popular and always did well at school, was being kidnapped or murdered by what the Sun newspaper cheerfully termed 'evil paedo scum'. Naming and shaming was as popular a feature in the Murdoch press as Page Three girls and discounted holidays to Butlin's. Of course you can't blame parents for wanting to keep their children safe; that's pretty much the job description of a parent. And, on the face of it, the tabloids were doing a public service in warning us about the paedophile menace lurking in our midst. The problem came when it turned out that a huge number of these concerned tabloid-reading parents were also absolute fucking morons. For every story of an actual sex offender being driven from their house by a baying mob there was one like that of Dr Yvette Cloete, a doctor at the Royal Gwent Hospital in Newport, South Wales, who returned home from work to find that a group of 'concerned parents' had daubed the word 'paedo' on her front door in bright red paint. Dr Cloete was a consultant paediatrician. Easy mistake. If you're an absolute fucking moron. And so it was that one hung-over morning, after reading yet another story about vigilantes who had threatened to stone Maxine Carr, the girlfriend of Soham killer Ian Huntley, to death during her high-profile trial for perverting the course of justice, I decided to set up a website parodying this collective national madness. The result of two or three hours of hung-over labour was thinkofthechildren.co.uk, a spoof campaign site which claimed to offer a handy online guide for crazy vigilantes of all stripes to co-ordinate their crazy vigilante efforts. Although there are a few parts of the site I'm still a bit proud of, the majority of it was, I freely admit, satire of the lowest order. What happened to the narrator after the article? Pick the correct answer from the following options: - Their website made them a target. - Their website got a lot of traffic. - Their website was a success. - not enough information

Their website was a success.