Problem: 1. Darkman and The Quick and the Dead-- the two Sam Raimi films Jonah Hex most wants to be.
2. Some movies seem so blatant an effort to appeal to a specific target audience that they ought to come with a viewers' advisory warning.
3. You could do worse than this and if you have been going to the movies this summer with any regularity, you most likely already have.
4. Jonah Mess
5. Yes, it's true... Jonah sux.
6. The lean story-telling works well for its taciturn characters and spare settings, presented by cinematographer Amundsen, and well scored with assistance from Mastodon.
7. a grindingly dull western-revenge-supernatural-terrorist-save-the-world mishmash that fails on every level. Did I ask why Megan Fox is here?
8. Opening the same day as Toy Story 3 and an alternative for those who prefer their movies dark, no sugar, this likewise cowboy fantasy tackled a long taboo subject: The post-traumatic stress link between dirt poor Confederate grunts and Viet vets.
9. What can you say about a film where John Malkovich can't work up any enthusiasm for playing a villain?
10. This looked to be a priority project by Warner Bros. at one point -- that is until cash spigot got turned off. The special effects are really cheesy, even by comic-book standards.
What is the consensus?
****
Answer: Josh Brolin gives it his best shot, but he can't keep the short, unfocused Jonah Hex from collapsing on the screen.


Problem: 1. ...a soap bubble of a movie [that's] pretty to look at... but the slightest breeze or poke will make it go away.
2. A mature and earnest romantic drama that is far superior to the bubblegum we usually get.
3. The story's time-travel elements never quite make sense, but subtle performances and directing give this film an unexpected edge.
4. Let's get the negative stuff out of the way first. This plot is shot full of holes. Nearly all time-travel movies are shot full of holes, and this one is especially spongy.
5. I was hot to trot for the exit halfway through, but a dogged sense of duty kept me stuck in an endless present.
6. Those wishing to suppress real-life traumas may submit to the deliriously stupid romantic time-travel drama The Lake House -- I did and had a jolly time.
7. as melancholy slow as Brokeback, only minus the hunks, the chemistry and the gayness
8. Don't try to think it through too thoroughly. Just go with it. The tenderness of the story just might make it worthwhile.
9. This is really a strange premise for a movie. I didn't say bad, I simply meant odd, and at times, confusing.
10. ---- there are all kinds of unexplained phenomena in the world, so who's to say that there can't be some sort of time warp where two people, years apart, can actually communicate with each other?
What is the consensus?
****
Answer: The plot of The Lake House is a little too convoluted, and the film fails to pull off the sweeping romance it aims for.


Problem: 1. Watching [Theron], you can leave your heart in San Francisco for an IV injection of caramel.
2. A man who doesn't ask why the woman whose bed he shares disappears for long locked door sessions in the bathroom is a man in need of his own subscription to O, the Oprah Magazine.
3. The film is ultimately undermined by its fondness for sudser clichés.
4. This remake seems even emptier than the cringe-inducing original film.
5. I don't know who I disliked more intensely -- Nelson, the abrupt, insulting ad man played by Keanu Reeves, or Sara, Charlize Theron's narcissistic martyr.
6. The basic validity of the story's emotional core beneath all the contrivance starts carrying the day in the latter stretches.
7. Director Pat O'Connor (Circle of Friends) can't smooth over the rough patches of his film, though, nor can he make the story believable enough to get his audience emotionally invested.
8. Not enough to transport Sweet November from its more appropriate place as a TV proposition.
9. Starts off sappy and original, but ultimately turns sappy and predictable.
10. Besides the cloying plot and melodramatic dialogue -- a lot of which is so obvious that audiences shout it out before the actors mouth the words -- the acting is wretched.
What is the consensus?
****
Answer:
Schmaltzy and manipulative, Sweet November suffers from an implausible plot and non-existent chemistry between its leads.