instruction:
In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
question:
Text: i've been riding the same horse for more than one year. since, i've progressed in riding technique and horse communication. i'm quite proud of the things i can do with my horse. but i've quickly understood that i have to suffer in order to progress

this happened 4 days ago and still hurts.

these days, my horseriding monitor wants me to learn light hands during sitting trot. so i've trotted on and on in the lunging ring. 
at the end of the lesson, i dismounted and suffered an unexpected injury in the crotch area. 
looks like i successfully cut myself with my own panties, to the point of actually bleeding out.

few hours later, i had a session scheduled with my boyfriend. it could have been an enjoyable moment of rough sex, if only i wasn't suffering that much. i had to have him touch the painful area so that he could avoid it later on. no hard sex occurred and i’m deeply frustrated.
answer:
rode my horse in order to learn light hands during sitting trot all day, got sliced by my panties and couldn't have monkey sex.


question:
Text: this happened yesterday, but i digress.


there's this really cute little cat that's currently living on our porch. i'm not sure if she's a stray, but we have a shelter set up for her and i give her food. (before you ask why i haven't taken her inside : i'm living my husband and inlaws, and my mother-in-law is very allergic.)

anyway, so i come home from work yesterday morning, and feed her. she eats quickly and comes up for snuggles and rubs, per usual. we're having fun and she's purring when suddenly she lashes out and bites my hand!

now i don't think much of it at first, i just tell her that wasn't very nice, and give her some space. as i glance down at it however, i realize my hand is starting to steadily drip blood and the wounds look pretty deep. 

so i run inside and wash it off, grab a towel, put pressure on the wound, and hold it over my head. i call telehealth and they tell me to go to the er.

i head to the hospital, where they give me antibiotics and send me home. i then get a call from the health department telling me to either get post-exposure rabies treatment, or wait 10 days and see if the cat is still alive.

so i'm heading to the doctors office today to see about treatment. i have a few cold-like symptoms, but i'm not certain if they're related.

 

edit: well it turns out the walk-in clinic i usually go to isn't taking patients today. they're closed on sundays too. i called the lady at the health department and left a message. perhaps i'll have to go back to the hospital to receive my treatment. 

also my husband sustained a couple scratches and a bite the day before yesterday, but they're pretty shallow and superficial. i'll probably go with him and have him get the same treatment.
answer:
: i got bitten by a cat i look after, and may have rabies.


question:
Text: so , this actually happened today. i know, crazy. 

my sister is in slow labor so to try and help her out i agree to take her six year old to one of her school friends birthday parties.

 now i figured this would be a bit of craic, an excuse to play the claw machines in the bowling alley while my niece and her friends run around mad in the foam and ball fortress they call the adventure castle. 

so we arrive at the party and my niece runs immediately to her friends and they scream and laugh and run mad as the wee ones do, i introduce myself to a few parents and we attempt to get the kids to their tiny seats to eat tiny slices of pizza and drink tiny plastic cups of carbonated goodness. 
after 10 minutes of screaming and kids using me as a climbing frame the cake comes out. 

it's a sweet cake, red velvet and butter cream in the shape of the little mermaid chick and the kids ooh and ahh before being led in a rousing chours of happy birthday. 

as they sing my phone rings, its my bud asking if i fancy a few drinks later and i struggle to hear him over the noise of the place so i'm shouting my replies over the cries and screams of the kids so he can hear me. he is excited about drinking and we agree to meet up later and he ends the call with "see ye later schwarzenegger" and without missing a beat or even thinking i reply in a very loud shout. "in a while, peadophile" and hang up. 

the problem is, the second he finished talking and i opened my mouth the kids had fell silent awaiting their wee friend to blow out her six pink candles and i scream "in a while, peadophile." while making an involuntary half dance thing as i hang up.

 i turn around and every parent there is looking at me with stares that would turn shite white. 
the kids erupt laughing, they think it's the funniest thing they've ever heard and judging by the looks on their parents faces its a goodin. they start shouting it to each other, "in a while peterfile" "petttafile!" "pita, pita, pitafile!" and as they do this the entire bowling alley is now looking our direction. fourteen kids screaming peadophile while laughing and their parents scowling at me trying to get them to stop. 

after the cake the party was pretty much over as parents marched their happy kids out while giving me the old stink eye. 

my niece had the time of her life and even won a teddy in the claw machines as i emptied my pockets of all the money i had to hopefully buy her silence. 

my sisters tried to call me twice after i got the kid home and i just haven't answered, i just know she's probably been called a peadophile once or twice this evening or has heard about it from one of the other kids parents. 

last time i'll be asked to supervise anyway.
answer:

taught a bunch of school kids the word peadophile.


