instruction:
In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
question:
Text: disclaimer: i've know that i'm a poly man for a while now, tried to ignore it for the sake of various mono partners, almost never works out. i've tried to convince myself i can rock a mono relationship for a while.

today i fucked up really, really bad holy shit.

i've been flirting with this guy for a while, let's call him cecil. cecil and i have had a complicated relationship over the years. i was with a boyfriend, cheated with cecil because i can't handle being in a two person relationship, and ended up dating him for a while. we broke up because he went to the hospital and with no contact i assumed he lost interest in me and we just stopped talking.

fast forward about a year and i'm dating this amazing genderqueer person, let's call them kevin. kevin and i have been dating for close to six months, no problems. we've both been through rehab for various things and been a-ok.

i started hanging out with cecil again, got drunk, he blew me. i figured it wasn't a big deal until he came out and admitted that he still had feelings for me. i still felt for him, too- we hadn't really had a reason for ending our relationship- and we determined that bringing it up to kevin was the responsible thing to do.

kevin was livid. apparently kevin has hated cecil for a few years, absolutely can't stand the guy, and i had no idea. kevin's pissed about me cheating, me drinking so soon after rehab, and even suggesting that a poly relationship would be anywhere near ok. they added later that if it was someone besides cecil it might have worked out, but i think they just felt guilty about shooting me down, so i don't have high hopes there.

i'm now no longer allowed to hang out with, talk to or about cecil. i get to see him one last time to say our goodbyes before essentially leaving him. i feel shitty that kevin made me choose between the two of them, because i love both. if i hadn't said anything, i wouldn't have been happy, but i would have still been able to hang out with cecil. it was more than fuckbuddies. we had a meaningful relationship and just being able to snuggle on the couch with him was great.

i feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmingly sad, but even if i'd left kevin for cecil i would feel just as shitty. i got myself stuck.
answer:
tried to convince partner to enter a poly relationship, now forbidden to see lover.


question:
Text: note: i am 18 years old and my step-sister is nine years old. 

i was eating dinner last night with my father and step mother in our living room. we were watching the big bang theory on the tv. the step sister came into the room and sat down on the couch. this is when i fucked up.

one of the characters on the show mentioned something about a threesome. immediately my step-sister says "what's a threesome?" 

everyone froze. i quickly whipped up an answer: "it's when three people race each other in cars." 

this seemed to work pretty well. she bought it, and everything was fine. later on my step mom gave me a thumbs up and said "quick thinking earlier!" everything was right with the world. until.... the next day.

she had two friends over after her summer care (basically a daycare that takes place over the summer so parents don't have to hire babysitters while they're at work). this happens about once a week and they usually just play the wii or jump on the trampoline out back. they were being unusually loud, running around screaming, and just generally getting on everyone's nerves. suddenly, all three of them come sprinting up the stairs, almost crash into my dad coming around the corner into the living room, and take off down the hallway. 

my dad says "woah! hold on!" and my step sister stops. 

he said "what are you guys doing, running around in the house?"

my step sister says "we're having a foot-threesome from the basement to my bedroom!"
answer:
told my 9-year-old step sister a threesome is a three-person race. step sister then has a threesome with two classmates in my house.**


question:
Text: technically yestarday, around 12:45 am, i decided to give myself a shot. i've been administering my own depo shot a few times now, but this time was different. i've never actually been told by my doctor how and where to give the shot. so, naturally, i googled it. 

come to find out, it is an intramuscular injection. i've always done it in my right side "love handle" like the doctors do, but i read that it's not good to do it in the same place every time. google suggested to do the injection in either my upper arm or mid thigh. i chose mid thigh. 

injection time! hands washed, alcohol swab, needle and injection ready to go. i plunged that needle in before i remembered to let the air bubbles out. i freaked out (only to later realize it would've been more helpful rather that harmful since it wasn't in a vein) and retracted the needle and then reinserted it after all the air bubbles were out.

this is where i fucked up... turns out, you don't actually have to put the entire needle into your body when giving a depo injection. i sank a 2 inch needle into my left quadricep muscle. it didn't hurt at the time of injection.. but holy shit does it hurt the next day!

i drive a stand-up forklift for work (i work weekend shift) and i can't even imagine the pain tomorrow's shift will put me through after the pain ive already dealt with today.
answer:

stabbed myself too deep with a needle and now i'm almost unable to walk.


