TASK DEFINITION: Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and an associated claim about its type, verify if the claim is true or not. The claim asks if the posts are historical or hypothetical. The posts are "HISTORICAL" when the author has already done something and they are "HYPOTHETICAL" when the author is considering doing something in the future. Say 'yes' if the claim is true otherwise say 'no'
PROBLEM: CLAIM : The following post is HISTORICAL. POST : I will try to stick to the basics in bold and then detail what the hell I’m talking about. 

**1. The teacher I assist is the nicest person ever and we are friends. ** 

I am a TA at an elementary school. I work with one PE teacher 90% of the time and assist on other areas of the campus around 10% of the time. I help this PE teacher with all her classes and because we spend so much time together as the only two adults in the room, and the “organized chaos” nature of elementary PE classes, we talk a lot all day and over the last couple years, we have become friends. We text outside of school hours, bring junk food to share, and give each other gifts for holidays and birthdays. We occasionally hang out outside of work. She is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, and is *very* good to me as a TA - other TAs complain about their cooperating teachers berating them, undermining their authority in front of students, etc. Mine literally brings me Starbucks after I have a bad day, texts me how 
much she appreciates me when I have to cover her classes, brings me my favorite candy whenever she goes to Buc-ee’s, etc. I think our friendship is making me overthink this. 

**2. Field day is her one big school-wide event and it is a tough event to put on.**

The first year I worked this job, I helped with field day a lot. She holds it over the span of two days, and it’s a pretty involved format. The scope of my help was to assist with about 30% of the planning and to monitor/run errands in and out of the building all day during the event. I also took photos for the yearbook. This teacher puts a TON of work into making this event fun and organized for our (title I) students. She and I are the extent of our school’s PE department, and this is the department’s big event. 

**3. I want to skip her field day event for a hobby convention.**

Last year my grandma convinced me to go to this huge international convention for the hobby that we share. After we booked the tickets, I realized that the Thursday and Friday I’d need to take off were the dates of her field day. I sheepishly told PE teacher that I’d made a mistake and I’d be gone during the event, but I’d still help with all the planning and prep. The other specials teachers helped her and nothing went wrong. It was a success. She was a little salty to me the week after the event but she tried not to show it.    
And I had the absolute time of my life at the convention. My mom and my other grandma ended up driving to the same city to see us, and a ton of my friends from the hobby were there, so I got to see some of my favorite people and meet a ton more. I talked about my hobby with people who understand the obsession and geeked out with me. I felt like a kid in a candy store. That weekend is one of my happiest memories. I’ve been to similar conventions over the years and nothing compares to this one. 

**4. AITA if I skip field day for this convention? 

My grandma assumed we would go again this year and booked the hotel for the whole convention (thurs-sun) this spring. I’m supposed to book the flights. I went to book and saw that the event falls on field day again. Cue me realizing I’d be a dick for skipping my department’s main event two years in a row. It is unquestionable that part of my job is to help with the event. I always do a ton of planning and organizing with the PE teacher before the event, though. I haven’t said anything to her yet - the dates are in April. 

I don’t want to let my friend down, but I don’t feel I owe my employers anything. Her kindness is one of the reasons why I’ve stayed at this job so long because there are other things that would otherwise have driven me to quit by now. However, she’s not my direct supervisor, she’s a colleague that gives me tasks and contributes to my appraisals. It’s a very tiny distinction, so input from teachers who work with TAs is very welcome!! She doesn’t approve my time off requests.              

I don’t want to miss this convention. I don’t have a lot to look forward to right now and it will be so fun. I’m so torn that I’m actually considering quitting this job so I don’t have to tell my teacher friend that I made the same goof two years in a row. I’ve been wanting to find something new for like a year anyway. 

Sorry this is long. I know I’m overthinking this so help me out. AITA?




SOLUTION: no

PROBLEM: CLAIM : The following post is HISTORICAL. POST : I have  a few posts in r/raisedbynarcissists if you want a little more background. 

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*A few reasons why*: I'm on a band at my school and I felt like I was going to vomit because of how nervous I was. I opted to play 1/3 songs and she found out and yelled at me for being a disgrace to the family, saying anxiety wasn't an excuse. 

Recently, I was almost kicked out of the house because of how sick of me she was. No, I'm not old enough to live on my own. She was going to make me live with my dad who she knows cannot take care of me properly. My stepdad stopped her and didn't get any more involved. 

I have been in therapy for almost a year now and she nags me over it very often. She'll constantly switch between lightly congratulating me that I made progress and then flips around and lectures me.

I was told to go back to my doctor to talk about medication options because my questionnaire choices were concerning to her. She never took me back. I know it's not necessary, but I really feel like it's something to consider, looking at the fact that I actually have made lots of progress (word from my therapist) but I still feel almost the same way.

She insults me a lot, occasionally threatening to beat me. I'm not sure if she would, but, eh.

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I don't trust her. People tell me a lot that she really is a great person but I honestly can't see that from my point of view. Yes, I admit there were times when I argued back with her in ways that weren't necessary. But is this behavior her fault, or do I deserve this? 

She tries to ask me how I feel but at this point I refuse to tell her anything in detail, if anything at all. Is this wrong?

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SOLUTION: yes

PROBLEM: CLAIM : The following post is HISTORICAL. POST : I’ve been “best friends” with a girl for a few years now. At first our relationship was fun filled and we were both there for each other in times of need. We are both diagnosed with bipolar disorder so we struggle with a lot of the same mental health issues. We’ve also both had a history of bad experiences and made bad decisions. She hasn’t kept any friends in the long term, most of her relationships have fallen out within a few months for whatever reason. 
Since we’ve been friends I’ve tried to get my life together by going to college, moving out, and holding the same job. Recently she decided to move into the same apartment complex as me and get a job at the same place as me and it’s made things less stable for me. 
She causes a lot of drama at work and talks about my personal life to coworkers. Anytime she calls or texts there’s something going wrong or she needs me to do something for her. 
I’m really sick with something right now and she made me pick up a shift at work for her a few days ago and drive her to the emergency room yesterday for some seemingly minor pain in her back. I stayed with her all morning and afternoon while she got xrays (they didn’t show anything) and took her to get her asthma medication and pain meds before I had to go I work. By the end of the night I was completely wiped, coughing and hacking, dealing with headaches and a fever. She texted and called after work saying she needed to be with me because she felt depressed and was crying. I ignored the messages and went to bed instead of helping her. I’ve had to pick her up because she was upset or needed something so many times and it’s been draining. I deal with the same depressed moods and feelings of impulsivity but I’ve been trying really hard to stay stable and balanced and being there for her every time really compromises that. She’s gotten really angry with me in the past for not being readily available when she wanted to hang out or needed something and everything feels so over the top. I don’t know if I’m being selfish or if she’s really asking a lot. 
So, am I the asshole for not wanting to be there for her half of the time? 

SOLUTION:
no

