instruction:
In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
question:
Text: this happened this morning and i certainly learned a lesson from it. so i started to workout with a personal trainer a few weeks ago because i wanted to get buff. i go twice a week, and the sessions are in the morning, so i have to get up around 8 or 9 and eat something. now, i'm not really a morning person, so i'm still getting used to waking up earlier and eating breakfast. so here's where i fuck up. i was craving some chips & salsa, so i decide i would eat a few to fill up my stomach for working out. 

fast-forward to when i start working out. i got through the normal warm-up and proceeded to do my squats. this week, i had to do 100. well, i push myself too hard and start to feel sick, and just push the feeling aside. i do about 40 push-ups next, and feel worse. i move on to the next exercise, and that pushes me over the limit. i ask to go to the bathroom and calmly walk over as if nothing was wrong and i just needed to pee. when i enter, i proceed to throw up in the toilet. it was terrible. a little got on the bowl, so i reach over to grab some toilet paper. i look and see there is none, forcing me to use my hands and water to get it off. it was unbelievably disgusting. when i go to wash my hands, my luck got worse because there was no soap. so i have to use some deodorant that's on the counter. 

after i'm all cleaned up, i walk out and finish my work-out like nothing ever happened. i was so embarrassed and the only ones i've told are my brother and mom.
answer:
ate unhealthy before work-out, paid for it later.


question:
Text: unlike 90% of content on this sub, this did actually happen today. less than 30 minutes ago, actually. 

so, i'm on a flight to salt lake city today. last night i cracked open the suitcase that i had been using for a while, threw some clothes and my laptop inside, and called it a night. now, when i say that i've been using it for a while, i mean that it's been used repeatedly for camping trips without ever being fully emptied, which means that i had left a number of "camping items" inside that the tsa would probably object to. 

also important for context is the fact that i haven't been on a plane in a while and thus have pretty much forgotten the little things you're not supposed to say or bring on a flight. 

skip forward to bag scanning. i put my shoes and wallet and a pile of cords into the sad little gray bins and instantly remembered that i had buried my laptop into a pile of underwear and jeans. not wanting to dig it up in front of everyone and secretly hoping that the tsa was as incompetent as adam conover had made it out to be, i just decided to let it slide and pretend i had forgotten about it. 

sure enough, i step out on the other side of the body scan and my suitcase was being removed from the line. great. a woman asks me if it's by bag, i reply that it was, and we go to a back table. she gives me the rundown about not touching anything that she pulls out of the bag and begins cautiously probing it. after about 60 seconds she pulls out a full-size bottle of lotion in a trash bag. oh yeah, duh. can't bring that. 

she then gets to my laptop. pulls it out after spending way too much time fiddling with my jean pockets and my underwear. okay, strike two, lady, you caught me. i plead guilty of forgetting about my laptop and not liking dry hands while hanging out in the woods.

but then she just keeps digging. and digging. eventually i looked up to check out the scans and see what she could possibly be looking for- and saw a smallish (4 inches or so) object that frankly looked quite dildonic. now, since i'm fairly certain that i've never owned a dildo nor did i pack one into this suitcase earlier in the summer, i'm more confused and scared that my brother might have slipped something in there to prank me than anything else. 

then comes the question. "what's the reason for the gerber?" 

i'm sorry, the what? i sure as fuck didn't put no damn baby food in there. 

nope, it was my *knife*. gerber as in the *knife* brand. turns out the suspiciously phallic shape in my suitcase was the ridges on the knife handle shape sitting underneath a curved blade used for skinning hide. oops. 

bonus stupidity: the lady then tells me that i can keep the knife if i don't use the bag as a carry-on and send it to slc the other way. she then asks if i want to keep the lotion, since i had previously given her permission to pitch it. in my head, i thought nah, the bag's gonna get tossed around and i don't want the bottle busting open and getting lotion everywhere. but what came out of my mouth was "nah, i don't want it exploding on the plane."

either she didn't hear me, or was feeling merciful today and didn't feel like marking a lanky-ass white boy as a terrorist, or vishnu came to my aid in a time of need, or what, but she didn't respond to that remark and let me get on my way.
answer:
accidentally went through tsa with a full-size lotion and a knife. was not shot.


question:
Text: happened yesterday - i was rushing to get ready to pick up the girl (2nd date) and as i turn the car on i see that i am running low on fuel. 

i go to the gas station and begin pumping gas, i use the lever thing that allows you to pump hands free. just killing time when i hear the familiar "click" of the gas tank being full and the lever turning off. 

i pull out the handle slowly (as usual) and as it comes out a bit i notice it is still pumping, but the pressure builds up and pushes the hose out and gas starts going all over; splashing my car and my jeans in the process. 

i stop the handle, put it back on the pump and assess the damage. jeans have a decent size splash on it. i use paper towels to try to dry it then use a squeegee to clean the gas from my car. 

however, i am already running late. so i hit the road blasting the heater on my pants to dry them off. unfortunately, i can still smell the gas.  fortunately, my vehicle is always prepared for almost any social emergency and i grab some cologne i keep in the glove box (don't judge me) and proceed to drown my pants with cologne to mask the gas smell.

pick up the girl, third date, she's a very sweet girl. she remarks on the abundance of cologne smell immediately, i say i accidentally spilled cologne on myself. feeling quite good that she hasn't smelled the gas, we continue on our date.

fast forward to the end of the evening and we are chilling in my car kissing and such. she complains of a headache and nausea, asks if we can roll the windows down to get some fresh air. windows down and she remarks; "so much better, i can breath. no offense but your cologne really smells like gas. next time i see you please don't wear it. can you take me home please." 

all in all she was very polite about it... texted her today saying hope she was feeling better. no response yet...
answer:

spilled gas on myself before a date, tried to mask it with cologne, thought it worked until date felt sick and told me to take her home.


