In this task you are given an anecdote, which recount a complex ethical situation. The question you are given is, has the author of the anecdote acted ethically? answer this question with "RIGHT" or "WRONG".

.. so I am renting a room from someone who rents her whole house out to cover her living expenses. I pay 500 a month, everything included. Shared bathroom, kitchen, etc. with two other roommates not including the homeowner.

I understand house rules, I understand common sense and courtesy. Especially since they are posted as a list on the refrigerator. One of those rules is there to be no eating in the rooms. 

Okay, so I am designated a shelf in the refrigerator. The first moment I put food in the fridge, I notice someone eating off of my shit. My family brought me home made Oreos dipped in chocolate and they were disappearing way faster than I was eating them. What the fuck?

So I brought all my food back into my room, except for a few "looks good, decoys(bullshit I don't eat) I left in the fridge" so I figure, hey, I have a bag of chips or whatever, I'm not going to walk outside and eat than go back in after I'm done when I have it right here? I make no mess and anything I do is cleaned beyond recognition. 

What gets me busted is the carrying of dishes and cups back and forth to my room. What's fucking crazy is that the homeowner complained about another roommate making noise cooking food in the kitchen at 2am which apperantly woke her up??

Am I the asshole?
WRONG

My mom picked my daughter up (less than a year old) after a visit with her dad. She said DD smelled like smoke and that she has never smelled like smoke after picking her up from his house or with me. He and I both smoke. I only smoke outside, with the door shut -even before daughter- and he smokes in his apartment. I suspect he typically doesnt smoke in his apartment for the few hours that she is with him because she has never smelled like smoke before, even to my nonsmoker mom. So that leads me to believe he smoked inside this last visit.

I 100% do not believe I have any right to ask him not to stop smoking completely in his own apartment. The only exception being when DD is there. We all know cigarettes are toxic AF (and I really shouldnt be smoking at all), especially for developing children. My stance is that its lazy and selfish as hell not to go outside. I did not say that to him, nor insinuate it.

I explained that shed never smelled like smoke before and for DD's health, please dont smoke inside while shes with him. I dont want her developing breathing issues because of his (and my) choices. She does not have a choice so we shouldn't be making choices for her that harm her. 

His response : he smoked a lot the night before but didnt while she was there and didnt really say either way if hed be sure to go outside to smoke while DD is there.

I didnt say this to him, but I dont really believe him. Hes smoked a lot the night before (evidence on the table) I've dropped her off with a different outcome.

So here's the actual WIBTA question. He has not made any effort to get his car fixed (hed much rather be chauffeured around) and I usually take DD for visits, with my mom doing pickup if I have to work and ex's parents occassionally helping. 

WIBTA if I stopped driving her over there if DD continues to come home smelling like smoke? If he makes other arrangements for p/u and d/o, I likely wouldn't keep her from him, but its doubtful hed do that.


We do not have an official custody in place, so he gets her when he can, but usually *only* when its convenient (which sometimes leads to weeks between visits, it's gotten a little better though). He pays a small amount in child support, usually late. Other than that and the short visits, doesnt do anything to contribute to DD's care. He makes very few sacrifices for DD (I'd say none, with the exception of small CS), the least he can do is take it outside when shes with him for a couple of hours.  I drive her to support the father daughter relationship, but don't want to if hes going to smoke inside. 


TL;DR : cigarettes are bad and dad wants to smoke inside for the few hours he has our &lt;1 year old. I'm considering not driving her for the visits if he doesnt take it outside.


RIGHT

This happened this weekend. My gf works at an accounting firm aa an accountant and sometimes has to work out of town for varied periods of time. This past week was one of those times, she has worked out of town for 2 weeks although she did pop in the previous weekend so we could attend a friend's wedding and have dinner/beers with the rest of my friends group who are usually out of town (they live all over now).

Fast forward to this weekend, I was invited Thursday night to this bbq that was happening at a new friend's house on Saturday afternoon. A little bit of backstory here, I was one for the few friends that stuck around in my hometown after high school (I'm 27) and I haven't gotten around to making new friends to hang out with so I appreciate any opportunity to make more. While this is happening, my gf let's me know she's coming in on Saturday, I tell her I can't pick her up since I was working that Saturday and she says it's fine, her dad can get her home and immediately after that, I invite her to said bbq because I was sensing this was gonna cause me issues and she just said she would consider but didn't think so.

Then, on Saturday, my friend was getting ready for the cookout and told me to be there by around 3 PM. I go and then my gf texts me, asking what am I doing and around what time are we gonna see each other, I tell her I am at the bbq and if we could meet at 8 PM. No answer after my texts and I call her, she says she thinks she always loses to my friends (like I said, I don't have any) and that she was really excited to see me after being a whole week away, going off about how we barely got to see each other the previous weekend because we had to attend the wedding and  then go to dinner with my friends and how she feels if it came between her and my friends, I would've gone with then and if she hadn't gone to the dinner get together she wouldn't have seen me at all as I would've gone to dinner anyway (which is true, I never get to see this friend group so I take advantage of any opportunity).

So, while on the call (this took place around 5 pm), I try and defend myself, "it's not true", "we can see each other in a bit, like I said, 8 pm" but she was having none of it and repeating how she always loses to my friends, then says she has to go and we hang up. For what it's worth, we don't see each other for the rest of the day and after texting her a bit to angry responses and her telling me the day was off and we could see each other some other time, so I decide to salvage the day, stay and get wasted l, though that didn't stop me texting her.

The next day, I try and talk to her and she's making one word responses, so I notice she's punishing me, I insist and we meet up at the time she said. I get there, we go to the mall, get a coffee, I walk with her as she pays her bills, she's still mad but it's a start.

After that, we get to her house, I say hi to her family and we talk. In short, she thinks I could do so much more, that she's not a priority to me, that my friends, or my recent acquaintances at that party, would obviously blow it off for their respective wives and gfs. I try to tell her that they're not in the same position and not desperate to get new friends like I am but I recognize it's a flimsy defense and I drop it, only telling her that I was super sorry. A little bit later, I go gone and she tells me again over WhatsApp, then blocks me. This has worried me a great deal so I feel forced to ask about another POV.

So, in short, AITA? Could I have done better? Is it just a TIFU? I feel I'm not completely in the wrong but I have no idea.






RIGHT

