Given a post that is a real-life anecdote of a complex ethical situation and a question asks if AUTHOR, NOBODY, EVERYBODY, or OTHER is wrong in the situation. Answer the question and classify your answers into yes or no.

Q: Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : For the reddit secret Santa exchange, there are very simple rules. Spend around 20 USD (more if you want), actually send your gift to your person, confirm the receipt of your gift. You can elect to match with people from a different country if you want, but there’s a big warning that international shipping can be quite expensive that you must acknowledge. 

I signed up be to an international reddit secret Santa this year, primarily because I thought it would be really fun and interesting to give / receive a little unfamiliar culture with some international neighbors. 

I did a ton of research into my match’s country, figured out what they do and do not have access to there, and sent a little of what their particular interest was along with a little culture from my country. 

I had a blast being a Santa! I had a ton of fun doing the research and learning about their culture, the things they are into, etc. It was quite expensive to ship from my country to theirs (around 80 USD), but I kind of expected that, and reddit did have a *very explicit* warning about this, so no worries there. 

As much fun as I had gifting (believe me, It was a ton of fun), I was just as excited to have an encounter with someone outside of my country. When my gift was marked as shipped, I was super excited. I spent a ton of time tracking what times they accessed my information, when stuff was marked as shipped, etc to try to figure out where they were from. 

It took roughly a week for me to see the tracking number. Seeing where it entered my country, I was trying even more to try to figure out where it came from based on geography and international flights, etc. I was so excited. 

Then I received my gift. It was from a local vendor, nothing that I wouldn’t have been able to pick up from any local shop. Didn’t seem to be very thoughtful, even for a domestic gift. Where I thought the package entered my country is actually where it originated. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am very appreciative that someone spent the time and money to get something for me. The cost is irrelevant to me, i know that there is a ~20 USD recommendation and all of that. What I was excited about was receiving something, ya know, foreign. What’s the point of signing up to participate internationally if you’re not going to share something special with another part of the world? 

Am I the asshole for being disappointed / was I expecting too much? 

A: no
****
Q: Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : I let my friend borrow my shoes for a bridal shower event that happened during Summer 2018. The event was very out of the way, and my friend worked the next day, so she wasn't going to go. She agreed to go bc the bride pleaded for her to go, and the maid of honor agreed to give her a ride back home to facilitate everything. 

At the event, my friend's feet hurt after wearing the shoes, so she changed into slippers and left the shoes in the trunk of the maid of honor's car. The maid of honor scored a Tinder date that same night so she told my friend that she couldn't drive her home anymore. This news was very upsetting for my friend; in the midst of trying to find another ride, she forgot to get the shoes out of the maid of honor's trunk. She asked the bride for advice and the bride just said "she always does that, just stay!" My friend ended up paying a bunch for a cab ride home.

After that night, she asked the maid of honor for the shoes multiple times in the span of 2 months. She even told them they didn't belong to her and that I was asking for them. The maid of honor got offended that my friend kept asking and claimed she was just busy and stressed. Instead of giving them to my friend, she gave them to the bride. The bride agreed to hold on to them, but when my friend asked her for them the bride couldn't find them. Then all was forgotten.

I told my friend that they are very inconsiderate of her time and ppl's things. I told her I want to ask them for my shoes/a replacement/or compensation for them directly. She tried to talk me out of it because "they're just shoes" and because the bride will get mad at her bc since she already asked her. That didn't feel right to me. But I left it alone.

Recently, after the wedding, my friend occasionally complains about the fakeness of the bride. She still hangs out and talks to the bride because theyre still coworkers. I took this as an opportunity to revisit the events of the night the shoes were left in the trunk. My friend offered to pay me for them to "squash the whole thing" and refused to talk about it bc "it's in the past".

I told my friend I am angry at her and really disappointed. I told her I want them to take responsibility by admitting they were inconsiderate and by finding/compensating for the shoes. I don't want my friend to pay me. That was my original point. 

The more we spoke about it the more I felt she's scared of the bride's reactions. She says there's no need to say those things because she and the bride are just acquaintences. She wants to avoid "unnecessary drama" because she knows the bride won't take my perspective lightly. I hate that she'd rather keep non-friends appeased, than to let me rightfully and politely ask for my things or stand up for her and myself. I feel like my friend cares more about the reputation she has with the bride, than her  thoughts and feelings towards her. It also affects me too, and she doesn't care (relatively speaking).

Am I the asshole?

A: no
****
Q: Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Me (18F) and my girlfriend (19F) were watching our college teams men’s volleyball game, talking about which ones are the cutest (I’m bi, she’s gay). 

I followed one of them on Instagram and she saw it and wouldn’t even talk to me for the rest of the game, and walked ahead of me when we were going to our dorms. 

I told her how this isn’t any different than if she follows a celebrity she thinks is hot, because you have no chance with them and never going to see them again. 

She doesn’t agree and won’t talk to me. AITA?

A:
yes
****
