instruction:
In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a title for this text. The title should start with "TIFU by", followed by a situation that caused humor. The title should contain 7-12 words, ideally.
question:
Text: you know you're high when you step on a rubber chicken and it makes a terrible shrieking noise so you think "oh shit, i stepped on the dogs tail" and you end up lifting your knee and smashing it against your closet door. then you think to yourself, fuck, i don't even have a dog, why did i rush to get off of one's tail? i hurt my knee for fucking nothing. that was 3 days ago and my knee still hurts like a bitch.
answer:
tifu while high


question:
Text: so today i got a call from my mom saying her cat had injured a baby bird and that she needed me to come deal with it. being the amazing daughter i am, i show up and find my mom sitting on the couch looking moderately traumatized, and my cat lying next to a tiny sparrow, licking it lovingly. only not really because it had a pretty nasty gash to its head. cats are twisted. so i take her back to my house in a box to see how hurt it is, and see if there is any chance it is going to make it, or if i will have to put it down.
i'm surprised to see that the little birdy is standing up and looking around! i clean it off the best i can, put some antibiotic cream on its head, and then went to grab to grab a syringe to i could give it water. i live with my boyfriend, and i remember seeing a few big (needle-less) syringes in the junk draw. i grabbed one, which was in a bag that said "amazon!" on it. i figured that it meant that he bought it from amazon.... . anyway, i wanted to make sure it was just water and not some weird oil, so i put some on my finger and smelled it. smells like water, ok. i taste a bit, tastes like nothing, it has to be water or saline. so i put a good squirt in my mouth to make sure. now, i don't know why i didn't question why a syringe would be shipped filled with water. in hindsight, that seems like it should have raised a few red flags, but it was not my proudest intellectual moment. so i give the bird some water, feel good about myself, and call my boyfriend to tell him about it. when i get to the part about the syringe he stops me. i tell him it was the one that said amazon, and he groans. apparently, it was a $50 syringe filled with psilocybe mushroom spores. i am not going to die, but i do feel like a god damn idiot, and worst of all, drinking the spores doesn't even get you high.
answer:
TIFU By drinking a syringe containing psilocyben mushroom spores


question:
Text: today while attending my studies i arranged to meet with a former classmate after lunch to shoot the breeze. normally when i see this person we talk about the vast differences in knowledge that certain majors require one to learn and how many disciplines don't always give a full account of what one might learn in another area of study. this is probably due to both of us changing our majors several times and subsequently being exposed to many different areas of study. 

often, in a way i feel our conversations might sound pejorative to passersby just because we often speak in a very sarcastic overtone, possibly just a way that we both can understand each othersa frustration. 

i've settled on a major and that is psp (philosophy, sociology and psychology). 

today when talking with my friend i was talking about the specific grade distribution of a midterm in a sociology class. i jokingly stated after going thought the statistical grade distribution (which actually represented a near-perfect bell curve) that i guessed "sociology students are dumb". i didn't mean this for one second. i wanted to explain that i felt that the instructor designed the test in a way that wouldn't be taken perfectly from a recitation of notes but rather an application of concepts and that the fact that no student actually failed was an indication that the class was bright and the instructor was doing their job properly. the high score on the test was %85 and it will be graded at a %15 curve for the final score. the median and mean were nearly exactly %70 which is then %85 under the curve. this is a near perfect distribution.

but i blurted the phrase "maybe sociology students are dumb". no they aren't. i realized how dumb i sounded and lost my thought process descending into utter embarrassment. i don't know how it happened but my decision to utter that phrase haunts me. my friend understood what i was saying but in that moment i became incredibly critical of how everyone around me perceives my actions.

i uttered the fallacious phrase and then realized there were people around me. then i realized where i was, then i said "i mean not that i really think that" and started to try and defend my self.

the next thing i hear "i'm a sociologist" it must have been a professor or department member. 

i lost my sense of order and tried to defend my self and not look like an ignorant person, but i think the situation was so random and poorly timed that someone who works with in the department that i wish to work with at my university thinks that i am ignorant and closed mind. and most importantly someone who makes fallacious attacks on educational disciplines and really thinks that way.

some of the brightest people i know are soc students

what if this person is actually hurt by my statement? what if i have them in class next semester? i don't want to be known as that guy that overgeneralizes things fallaciously.
answer:

TIFU while having a tongue-in-cheek conversation with a student peer near the sociology department.


