TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
PROBLEM: Text: a couple months ago i was laid off. this particular lay off was done by telling me i would be laid off on a certain day so i knew it was coming. so everyone who worked with me knew it was coming. on my last day someone from another group said he could get me contract work for his group. i was psyched and said yes even though i knew it would have no benefits. a day later i get called in for an interview for a company i had previously worked for that out sourced me to the job i was being laid off from. i that interview the vice president says "can i be frank? you are my candidate we just need to get a manager in place and we should be able to move forward hiring you.". 
i then get a call from the manager of the contract job saying yes we will take you on as a contractor but it will take a month to bring you on board. i'm like hey that is fine as i was thinking i will be hired by the other job before these guys process me. 
so now i am like great i have two job possibilities and 6 months pay i am feeling pretty good. a week later i get a second interview for the benefit job and i did real well. i am expecting an offer any day now. 
in the meantime i get an email asking me to fill out forms for the contract job. thinking my full time job is coming any day i don't fill out my paperwork right away. i wait a couple weeks. i start getting nervous as the ft job has not called me back. so i fill out the paperwork for the contractor job and am told there was a hiring freeze. i email the vp about the ft job (same guy who said i was his candidate) and he does not return my emails. so by taking my time initiating the less desirable job i seemed to have missed the hiring window and it looks like i did not get the job i was waiting for.

SOLUTION: got laid off. had two possible jobs. should have moved on the first job offer instead of stalling for something better. ended up not getting either job

PROBLEM: Text: story time. (tl;dr at the bottom)
for a couple of months before this fuck-up, i had been noticing that my best friend had suddenly started to seem way more excited to see her other friends and was treating me like an acquaintance. for example, i felt like she had replaced me with somebody who i will call c. for some context, i have had mild anxiety for a while now and since fairly recently i have had pretty heavy depression. i also have a problem involving getting a lot more enraged than average when something angers me. also, i would tell absolutely everything to this best friend of mine.

so the fuck up starts like this. i was talking to my best friend who i will just call 'a', and since i had been feeling like she had been starting to not like me recently i thought maybe we just need a bit of time together to get closer again like we used to be. so i invited to meet up with me later that week in the town where i live, and she said no because it is difficult for her to get there. fair enough, i thought, since she does live about an hour away. so i offered to go to where she lives and meet her there, and she said "but there's nothing to do where i live!" i said i don't mind, but she seemed to be pretty defensive about me going to her. i found this quite odd, but didn't think much of it. 
cut to later that week. my other friend is out in town, and he messages me on facebook saying "hey throwawayy_-lmao, a is in town with c!" thinking that this would excite me. at this point, after all the other stuff that has happened, and all the denial that she doesn't like me, i actually go into a state where i have never been more angry and upset in my life. i feel like i have no control over my actions and my mind just feels like an empty void, vulnerable to any sort of negative thought or idea. i instantly message a saying "i thought you werent free to go to town this week" and then send her some messages that, well, vividly explained how i felt about this and how i felt about how i had been treated for the past couple of months, saying stuff like "you cant fucking deny it this time" and "at least [other friend] still loves me". i then proceeded to unscrew the razor from a pencil sharpener and cut myself 50 times almost exactly, which was not like me at all, despite the period when i was very depressed. a did not see the messages until later that day, and she did not reply but just blocked me on all social media and blocked my number. 
i decided to go to another close friend of mine, p, to tell her about this. after talking about it for a while, p told me that a had been feeling very stressed about me because of my mental health for a while now, and had been advised to keep her distance from me when she felt under pressure.
well fucking shit.
the reason that a had not been wanting to spend time with me, had not been excited to see me, had been spending time with others a lot more than me was because she cared about me more than i thought and was just very worried. and now i couldn't even apologize. i got a mutual friend of a and i's to message her saying that i was sorry and didn't realize that this was the case. a replied saying "thank you for telling me." however has still not unblocked me from anything. thanks for reading.

SOLUTION: thought best friend was distancing herself from me because she was beginning to like me less. i snapped one day and sent angry texts- she blocked my mobile number and social media accounts. turned out the distancing was actually because she was very worried about me and needed some time away from me due to stress.

PROBLEM: Text: tifu thinking it was all happinness and sprinkles while i was listening to karate by kennedy on my way to emailing a funny ig page that accepts money to promotions, i am no expert in promotions as i am just 15 or what picture to use so i just grabbed a random image of my apparel that i was selling on my website, emailed the guy  & paid him. he posts the picture to all his 215k followers and whatnot. i was filled with joy and happiness and how i was gunna gain a shitload of followers & sell so kmuch shit that i wouldnt know what to do eith the money. well that suddenly turned into a nightmare when people started commenting "what arrre thooose" on the promo pic.

 
edit: typed,on my phone, sorry for misspells you grammar nazis

SOLUTION:
i wasted $40 on a promo, got laughed at, & my apparel was said to look like a trash bag followed by "whaat are thoose" 150+ comments, only gained 15 followers.

